i feel so oblivious to how my trauma affects ppl dude
i nearly died of a gangrenous infection in my abdominal cavity a few months back after my appendix ruptured??? and whenever i talk to my friends/family about it they're all like "god, its so scary how close we were to losing you"
while im all "lol its wild am i right!! wanna touch the scar they slurped out that nasty little slut?" while lifting my shirt enough to bare my belly button to the whole pub
I made a thing!! I just realized Marcus Pike bby in The Mentalist is on HBO Max in 1080p, and inspired by @prolix-yuy's amazeballs video edit preview for her geniously-cast Tim Rockford/Dieter Bravo-involved upcoming fic Midnight Alley, and because my friend @davnittbraes has filled my head with the most wonderful Tim Rockford x Marcus Pike x reader kindling for thots and angst and 🫠😌, my brain screamed VIDEO EDIT at me and I must obey her.
Because holy stars, this was so fkn fun, it was like a puzzle to figure out how to tell a story from limited visual and audio source material, and OH HOW this story just LEAPT OUT AT ME and I AM SHIPPING THEM SO HARD, the grumpy/sunshine and emotionally available/closed off vibes and age difference of these two has me in my feels! LOOKIT Marcus' faaaaace! The emotions they share on their faces at the "I wouldn't lie to you" part? 🥹 Give these two all the best things!!! (and then share with me.) Enjoy!!
Tagging the Tim Rockford girlies I've seen on my dash who might be interested 🥰: @iamskyereads, @galactic-basic, @imtryingmybeskar @whataperfectwasteoftime, @julesonrecord, @heythere-mel, @fuckyeahpedropascal, @mandosmistress, @oonajaeadira, @the-blind-assassin-12, @katareyoudrilling, @somethingtofightfor, @loversandantiheroes, @wardenparker, @boliv-jenta, @lowlights, @theredwritingwitch
One thing that might not be obvious to some (certainly not to me) is that when you heal from a place of lack, codependency, and low self-confidence… you will mess up a lot. Especially if you’re accustomed to being a high-masking person going through trauma cycles.
You may lash out because the pent up resentment and anger bubbles or explodes out of you.
You may feel a whole range of emotions within a couple of seconds.
You’ll wonder how you heal when you don’t know what to even do - you’ll keep getting more information that clarifies things but what steps do you even take?
Do you stay angry forever? What happens when you get your validation that… it was awful and it wasn’t right?
What happens when you confront your role in the trauma cycles that have happened to you?
What happens when you ruminate on what they’ve done… and what you’ve done? All the times you’ve self-abandoned yourself…
Or worse… what happens when you “move on” by suppressing yourself yet again because it gives you that false sense of safety (and unfortunately, stagnancy)?
—
Then, you’ll ask yourself:
How do I truly forgive them, forgive myself, and enforce my boundaries? How do I know myself so deeply that I know what those boundaries should be?
//Heya, @randomperson1638 here, I'm currently focusing on my OC's lore, so this will not be worked on for a while, sorry, ofc you can still show me your predictions but just have in mind I won't be working on this for awhile!\\