#why are you expecting to feel comfortable listening to someone recount their abuse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonctzeny · 4 years

Text

Baby

au+trope+prompt game: college!au Jaehyun + fake dating + it’s just so hard not to fall in love with you

pairing: jung jaehyun x fem!reader x asshole!yuta

other members as background characters: yuta, mark, johnny, jungwoo

genre: angst, smut

word count: 9,124

warnings: abusive relationship, toxic behaviour

summary: “When Yuta breaks your heart for the millionth time, you meet Jaehyun, freshly broken up and looking for revenge. You decide to start fake dating to get back on your exes, but your plan takes an unexpected turn. You fall in love.”

a/n: I really don’t like putting yuta in a negative light like that it’s just for the fic’s sake! also I literally used the name Naeun as Jaehyun’s ex because I think it’s SUCH a pretty name, NO correlation whatsoever to any korean celebrity named naeun!

_____________________________________

You knew it was wrong.

Looking through your boyfriend’s, Yuta’s, phone while he took a shower, was the arguably the tackiest thing you have ever done.

He was always distant lately, only seeming to make time for a booty call, and at first, you blamed your hectic schedule. Your major was demanding, to say the least, so when Yuta suggested that you replace your dates with some “quality time” at his dorm, you had no objections. You didn’t know that he also meant ignoring your calls, canceling on you at the last minute to meet up with his frat brothers, and keeping your relationship strictly between four walls and two naked bodies.

The thought of him meaning more to you than you meant for him ate you away. It creeped in your mind while you heard the water running from your shower, and lead your fingertips to tap in the password of his phone.

Opening his messaging app, you recognize his best friends’ icons in a group chat consisting of his frat members. You scrolled up, ignoring the latest massages regarding a party that the frat would be throwing in two weeks. You started to feel guilty, not exactly sure what you were looking for, when you saw your name at the screen.

m0rklee[00:10]: @yutassanhyung, i saw your girl today at the supermarket! why didn’t you tell her about the party next Sunday?

you[00:12]: what girl lol

m0rklee[00:13]: y/n?? i thought you guys were together?

you[00:12]: nahh

fairyteil[00:15]: eyy @yutassan if you’re done with her i know a couple guys who wanna hit it too

you[00:16]: be my guest haha

you[00:16]: don’t get me wrong she was bad when we met but shit is getting kinda stale

tenoutoften[00:17]: aren’t you on your way to her place lol

you[00:17]: hey hey pussy is pussy

Was that all you were to him? Pussy?

Yuta called you special, he called you yours. He didn’t like it when you were talking to other guys. He ripped your lingerie set because he didn’t want anyone else to ever see you in it but him. And then he dared to go around and call you a fling?

You heard the water stop running and knew you didn’t have much time until you had to face him, the thought alone making you sick.

You didn’t bother to lock his phone again, leaving the chat that made you so upset open. Grabbing your keys and a jacket, you left your place and hoped that Yuta would get the message and get the fuck out of there before you came back.

Your legs walked on their own accord, your memory leading you to the only place where you knew you’d find any sort of comfort. When Johnny opened his door, tears were already streaming down your face. He took the open tequila bottle you were holding and pulled you in for a hug. He smelled like weed and beer, and after hearing the “Is that the pizzas?”, you realized that your best friend wasn’t alone.

You quickly wiped your cheeks and fixed your sex hair that Yuta messed up, trying your best to look presentable. Johnny put a hand on your back and lead you to his living room. Jungwoo, your and Johnny’s friend from high school, was sprawled out on the couch, a little disappointed after seeing that you were, in fact, not the pizzas. Next to him, drowning in a bean bag, was Jaehyun. You didn’t really know him very well other than the fact that he took the same major as Johnny, so you felt a little insecure looking as messy as you did right now. His eyes were red, just like the other men’s, but you could swear his eyelashes looked a little damp.

Jungwoo’s words were muffled by the barbecue chips he was munching away.

“Yoo y/n, I didn’t know you were coming!”

You placed the tequila bottle on the table,

“Yeah, Woo, figured you wanted something to drink”

“Move” Johnny murmured to him, but he only stretched and sighed dramatically, shoving a handful of chips in his mouth.

“I don’t need a drink I need food. I’m hungry and I got the munchies”

Johnny grabbed his ankle and with impressive ease, dragged Jungwoo to the floor. The taller man sat on the couch, on the side next to Jaehyun and you followed his lead, letting a grumpy Jungwoo lean his head on your knees. Taking the lit joint from Jaehyun’s fingers, Johnny turned his attention back on you.

“So tell me chica” he said and took a hit, “who do I have to beat up?”

“Yuta”, you grumbled, “I’m ghosting this motherfucker”

You felt the vibrations on your lap when Jungwoo started talking.

“What did he do this time? Didn’t I tell you not to get involved with stupid frat boys?”

You started petting his hair, the softness comforting under your fingers.

“Apparently I’m not ‘bad’ enough for him anymore” you replied, throwing air quotes and rolling your eyes.

“Whaaaaat” Johnny drew out with a cough after taking a particularly deep inhale from the blunt, “you’re like the baddest bitch I know. Even now, that you’re all puffy from crying and smell like his dick”

You hit his shoulder, almost dropping the joint he was passing to Jungwoo, embarrassed that he would say something like that in front of Jaehyun, an almost stranger to you.

“I don’t know, man” Jungwoo started, and you could hear the smile on his face, “when girls cry it’s kinda hot”

You were contemplating how many hairs of his you should rip out of his scalp when the telecom rang, assumably by the pizza delivery man.

“Saved by the bell”, Jungwoo muttered to himself and got up quickly to open the door. While the youngest paid for the pizzas, Johnny held your hand, a bit guilty for his words earlier. He had a mischievous smirk and kept shifting his gaze between you and Jaehyun, who had been sitting in silence ever since you got here, occasionally smiling at your friends’ teasing.

“Fuck Yuta, man. You should find a nice guy to treat you well and fuck you even better y’know?” he started, and patted his buddy roughly on the back, “Like Jae over here”

Your eyes widened and you instinctively glanced at Jaehyun, ears a deep red and a matching shocked look on his face.

You cleared your throat, “No offense, but, like, aren’t you practically married to this girl-uhhh what’s her name again? Naeun?”

To someone who wasn’t listening to your conversation, it must have seemed like you tased him, or brought up a painful childhood memory, or asked him if he’d be willing to lick a lemon after washing his teeth. He looked away from you, and turned his attention to his nails, ripping a cuticle off in deep concentration. His voice was so quiet when he finally spoke, that you barely heard him. “I broke up with her, actually.. Like, three hours ago”

Guilt washed over you in an instant, not knowing that you scratched a wound so fresh. You wanted to apologize and even ask if you should leave the three alone, when Jungwoo grabbed the Tequila bottle and crashed on the couch clumsily between you and Johnny.

“Fuck love!”, he yelled, “let’s get wasted”

_______________________________________

You stared at the empty José Cuervo bottle rising up and down Johnny’s chest with every one of his snores. He was laid out on his couch, his tall height taking up all of its entirety, leaving Jungwoo passed out on the floor. Jaehyun followed your eyes and smiled at Johnny’s sleeping face, mouth open and tongue spilling out.

After the 4th shot, you found out that Jae was a pretty decent guy. He let you rant about Yuta while your friends were busy trying to see who could eat a large pizza by himself the fastest. You told him all about how you never went on dates anymore, how you looked through his phone after having sex, and the text conversation you found earlier tonight. He listened carefully, without judgment, and after smoking some more of Johnny’s staff, he opened up to you about his relationship with Naeun.

Or rather, how he found her fucking his roommate on his own bed.

You always thought of these two as what they call a ‘power couple’. Valedictorian meets basketball all-star, they graduate and have beautiful babies, while all the rest of us mortals can do is admire from afar. You would have never guessed the toxicity, constant cheating and manipulation that Jaehyun was recounting. You bonded over stories about cancelled dates, emotional distancing and feeling like you’re always the one giving but never receiving. If you were being honest, you would have never expected such emotional depth from a college point guard. He drew you in with his gentleness, and you noticed how different he was from Yuta, who engulfed you with his intensity. You also hated how even now, you were still thinking of him.

Just then, you got his third message for the night:

asshole [03:35]:come on baby don’t ignore mee, me and the guys were just messing around

you [03:36]:stop texting me

you [03:38]:we’re done

You locked your phone, upset and angry, and felt Jaehyun sigh.

“I know I’m falling for her stupid games, but I just want to get back at her y’know? Show her what she’s missing, that type of thing”

You knew exactly what he was talking about. During the past hours, you weighted all the possible ways you could make Yuta regret ever taking you for granted.

He was so charming that he could get laid with anyone he wanted (and probably did, even when you were ‘dating’), but even after what he said to Taeil, you knew that he hated the thought of anyone else fucking you. He wanted your body to be his, without having to deal with the commitment that came with that privilege.

You thought about fucking one of his frat buddies, but that would get you from being called ‘Yuta’s girl’ to ‘ΘΨΩ’s cumslut’, and your self esteem couldn’t take that blow.

Jaehyun’s deep voice interrupted your train of thoughts.

“Maybe Johnny’s right”

“Huh? ”

“You should date me”

You blinked at him twice, not knowing what to reply when you saw him wave his hands frantically in front of his face.

“Fake date me! I mean, you should fake date me. Sorry, the weed’s got me a little fucked up”

At first, the idea seemed crazy. Yes, it would make Yuta furious that you were supposedly fucking one of the hottest guys on campus. Yes, Naeun would get mad that she didn’t have Jaehyun’s constant attention that she so craved anymore. Yes, you two might have revealed your deepest insecurities, opened up your hearts to each other all while sharing a bottle of alcohol, but you had never hanged out together without Johnny being present. You had barely hanged out together, period. But wouldn’t that make it even more believable? Two of Johnny’s best friends break up at the same time, meet up at his house and inevitably end up together. You didn’t share the same major, so you wouldn’t have to put up the act too much at college. And with social media, making a fake relationship believable was easier than ever.

asshole [03:42]: fuck you. you think you can find someone better than me?

Drunk and lacking logic, you agreed on the plan, and gave him your number. You had just finished creating the contact on his phone when he suddenly got up and rushed to the bathroom, facing the consequences of the tequila and weed combo.

You passed out on Johnny’s bean bag and when you woke up on Sunday afternoon, Jaehyun was gone.

———————————————————

You didn’t expect him to text you on Monday, thinking that it was intoxication that gave him the idea of fake dating and made it look brilliant. So when he gave you the address to his dorm, to further discuss your ‘operation’ you were surprised, but determined to succeed.

The plan was simple. You would start tagging each other on your instagram stories, to show people that you were spending time alone. He agreed to pick you up from your lecture on Wednesday, your classes coinciding on neighboring buildings. And for you final act, he’d come with you as your plus one for the frat’s party next Sunday. Mark was nice enough to invite you, after Yuta ‘forgot’ to do it instead, and Naeun, being Taeil’s sister, wouldn’t miss it for the world. It was the perfect opportunity to flaunt your new relationship, all while being on the opponent’s part of the field.

You started off innocently enough. After you and Jaehyun finished brainstorming ideas about the ‘operation’ as he insisted on calling it, he suggested you stay for a movie and some Chinese food. His dorm was cozy, a little messy, maybe, but it fitted his boyish charm. He had a nice collection of vinyls, stating that his favorite one was I. by Cigarettes After Sex. You were a bit taken aback by his love for dreampop and rnb, but the more you got to know him, the more it seemed to fit him nicely. On the wall next to his bed hung a display full of all of his sport trophies. He was known for his basketball skills, but you also saw medals for soccer, track, volleyball. Amongst them all was an English certificate and a spelling bee award. You wondered if he ever felt pressure trying to be so perfect all the time.

The movie was terrible, but Jaehyun managed to entertain you by making silly jokes throughout and mocking the actors’ bad acting. It was the first time you ever saw him crack a joke like that and be willing to contort his handsome features. So much better than the dream boy image he was feigning for everyone, but you didn’t know him well enough to tell him. The movie was halfway done when he picked up his phone and opened a camera app through his Instagram.

“Shouldn’t we take a story? Since we’re together anyways?”

You nodded and scooted closer to him. He was a bit hesitant as he positioned the camera to capture your legs that were touching, a scene from the movie playing in the background. It was a cute picture but nothing indicated that the two of you were more than friends. You pressed the X at the top of the screen to discard the picture, and placed his hand on top of your thigh. You turned around just in time to witness his ears turning into a fuschia pink.

“Is that okay?”

He nodded and regained his cool, taking the picture and tagging you with a red heart next to your username.

A couple hours after leaving his place you texted him, asking if Naeun had replied to his story. He said that unfortunately, the only person who batted an eye was Johnny, replying with a “ 👀 👀 👀 “ .

———————————————————

You met up again the next day, at your apartment this time.

He looked nervous being in a place so foreign to him yet so personal to you, so you decided to turn the lights down to help him relax, insisting that you weren’t trying to seduce him or anything. He laughed at your joke but still looked tense, and you thought that maybe he needed some liquid courage to open up.

“Hey Jae. Want a drink?”

It took him 3 beers to finally loosen up and show you his dimpled grin again. You were sitting on the floor, facing each other and feeling comfortable in the ambience of the room. A Spotify playlist was playing in the background so it would fill up the awkward silence but wouldn’t distract you from your conversation.

“Wait wait wait. So you sleep without a pillowcase?”

“Yeah, didn’t you notice it when you came to my place yesterday?”

“I thought you forgot to do your laundry!”

His laugh was resonating and deep and manly. It made his eyes disappear and his face light up, not that it didn’t anyway - the guy could easily be a skin care ambassador, and you made a mental note to ask him about his moisturizer later.

You followed his gaze to one of your walls. Pictures were filling it up, memories of yourself and your siblings, of your friends from home that you missed, of Johnny and Jungwoo. You felt a little insecure then, comparing them to Jaehyun’s countless medals and awards.

“I’m not good at sports like you, so I have nothing else to hang on my wall”, you laughed awkwardly but he shook his head.

“No, I’m actually jealous of you. Everyone always seems to want to be around you”

“Except Yuta”

“Yuta’s an idiot, then. You are way out of his league anyways.”

You felt yourself turning into a blushing mess and looked for a way to break the awkward silence that followed his comment.

“Wanna share another one?” you asked him, shaking the empty beer bottle on your hand and he nodded. You started getting up when you felt him put a hand on your shoulder and pick up the bottles you had finished up from the table himself. He rinsed them off and put them away to the recycling bag next to your sink, the domesticity of the action making you melt. You watched as he stood on his tiptoes to reach a lager from the top drawer of your fridge, revealing a defined set of abs and two cute dimples on his lower back. You ripped your eyes away immediately, like you were caught doing something illegal, and he walked back to his spot next to you. As soon as he sat down, he groaned and threw his head back.

“The bottle opener was on the kitchen counter. I forgot to bring it”

Without saying a word, you took the beer from his hand and placed the cap in your mouth. It was a party trick that your older brother had taught you when you were 15. After finding a stable indentation on your teeth, you manipulate the rough edges of the cap and pop the beer open. You return the glass bottle to Jaehyun, who’s looking at you incredulously.

“Fuck me, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen”, he breaths out and you feel your whole face burning up. You opened and closed your mouth a couple times, trying to register that someone like him thought you were hot, when you felt your phone vibrating, saving you from further embarrassing yourself.

Johnny’s picture lit up on the screen and you mentally prepared yourself for the following conversation. You and Jaehyun decided against telling anyone about your relationship being fake. It’s not that your best friend wasn’t reliable, but if you told Johnny you had to tell Jungwoo, and Jungwoo doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut to save his life.

“John, what’s up”

“Eyy chica what took you so long?”

You looked at Jaehyun who had leaned back against the pillow of your couch and sipped on the beer you would share.

“Yeah sorry I was a little busy”

“Busy.. with Jaehyun?”

You tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, but you were still trying to recover from the previous incident.

“Yeah, he’s here”

“Ohh I see, little y/n can’t get enough of Jae’s slam dunks.. I bet he’s teaching you the bank shot, the opening tip, the double dribble, the fast break, the palming.. he sure is great for a rebound-”

You interrupted him, growing tired of his nonstop basketball innuendos.

“Why did you call me Johnny?”

“Damn, sorry, I just wanted to ask you what you wanted for your birthday”

Shit, you forgot about that.

“Just get me whatever, I don’t care, you know how much I hate celebrating anyways. I’ll get the cake myself, so no surprises”

Jaehyun lifted his brows and waited patiently for your call to end before asking:

“What are we celebrating?”

“It’s my birthday on Friday. I’m going to invite a couple people over and Johnny’s already stressing over it. Don’t worry, though, you don’t have to come”

“How can your boyfriend not come to your birthday party?”

You laugh bitterly.

“Well, it’s not like Yuta came last year. To any of my parties for that matter”

“Well, he must have made up to you somehow? Got you a very special gift or something?”

“If you count eating me out as a gift then yes. It was very rare indeed.”

You took the beer from him and took a sip yourself. You noticed he had his eyes glued on his phone, his expression gloomy.

“Is everything okay?”

He snapped out of it at the sound of your voice and turned his phone screen towards you.

It was Naeun, or rather a post on her instagram account. She had her tongue out in the picture, hugging two guys that were unfamiliar to you. You read the caption.

“One day the loser will realize that the diamond he thinks he’s playing with is actually a rock”

Jaehyun mumbled an apology. I guess he thought that you’d be a bit offended being called a ‘rock’ but you were actually feeling satisfied. Your fake relationship had managed to get her attention, and for Jaehyun’s sake, you wanted to rub it in her face even more.

You opened your camera app and placed your phone on the table next to you. He figured what you wanted to do so he sat up straighter and motioned to his lap. You’d normally be a bit hesitant to sit on him if it wasn’t for the two beers and your determination, that had fired up again due to Naeun’s words. Leaning back a bit, you set up the self-timer and he put his hands on your hips to stabilize you.

You had agreed on turning up the boldness of your pics, so you placed your hands on his neck, right under his jawline. He snaked his hands upwards and wrapped them around your waist, bringing you even closer. His eyes were glossy from the alcohol and he looked at you with an impressive calmness, considering the intimacy of your position. It seemed like he was waiting for something, the ticking of the timer urging you to take things a bit further and he nodded, as if giving you permission. You leaned in, and pressed your lips on the corner of his mouth, like you couldn’t decide on kissing his dimple or his lips.

After hearing the click you climbed down from his lap, and prayed that the photo came out in focus. Your heart couldn’t handle another retake. From the angle of the camera, it seemed like you were a couple in love, sharing a sweet kiss on the lips. You added a cute caption and tagged him, so he could repost it later on his own account.

It hadn’t been 5 minutes before your phone lit up.

yutassan replied to your story: what the fuck?

You smiled triumphantly and showed the message to Jaehyun, who laughed at Yuta’s reaction. He gave you an excuse about some forgotten homework and how it was late and he has to go.

“Remember, I’ll pick you up tomorrow from class, so wait for me”

After he left, you thought about your almost kiss and the dimples of his back for way too long.

——————————————————

You exited the classroom with a growing headache. The lesson today seemed extra boring, and all you could think about was that you had to convince Johnny that it really took just three days for Jaehyun and you to officially start dating.

As promised, the pair waited for you at the end of the hallway, your best friend looking at the two of you expectantly. Jaehyun was a good actor, you thought, as he approached you before you got to reach them, meeting you halfway.

“Hey baby”, he smiled at you, the nickname turning your legs into jelly. He wrapped one arm around your shoulder, and kissed your cheek sweetly, making Johnny coo at the two of you.

“I can’t believe that I hadn’t thought about pairing the two of you together earlier”

He must have thought that the awkward body language and the silence that fell was a sign from you and Jae to leave you alone. He excused himself, saying something about “letting the young lovers swim in the pool of their love”, or something along those lines.

The two of you walked together, following the road to your next class that was just a few buildings away.

“So how has class, baby

You rolled your eyes at the insistent nickname, “you know that Johnny left us, like, 5 minutes ago, right?”

“Let me enjoy itttt”, he whined, “Naeun never let me call her anything like that”

“Why is that?”

He looked at his feet moving and frowned in thought.

“She said I was embarrassing her in front of her friends. I think she just didn’t want other guys to know that we were together”

You felt a pang of sadness and you realized that it always followed any conversation you two had about his and Naeun’s relationship.

“Well then if you call me baby, I can will you honey. Or sugarplum. Or pumpkin pie. Or-“

It was startling how fast Jaehyun pressed you up against the wall. In just a moment, he had put his hands on your waist, burying his face in your hair. You shivered when you felt his breath as he spoke against your neck.

“Yuta’s watching us”

All you could do was stay frozen in place, and listen with wide eyes.

“Huh?”

He chuckled at your response, but he replied patiently.

“Yuta? Your ex? He’s right over there. Figured we should give him a show”

And with that, he kissed you. Everything was happening so fast, that you could barely comprehend that Jaehyun, that was a stranger in the past weekend, was now making out with you at the hall, for everyone to see.

And that included Yuta.

You opened your eyes in the kiss and searched for him, spotting him with his frat buddies. His eyes were piercing through the two of you, and you saw Mark holding him back by the shoulder. The look on his face was priceless.

Jaehyun pulled back and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Thank you”, you whispered, “but I need one more favor”

“Anything baby”

“Slap my ass as we walk away”

Sure enough, Jaehyun took your hand and you continue your walk, momentarily stopping to make eye contact with Yuta and give you a little spank. It was something your ex loved doing on the rare occasion you two met up outside of your dorms, no matter how public the setting. You heard Mark yelling something at his ‘Yuta hyung’ and that’s when you thought, your plan just might work.

———————————————————

You didn’t see Jaehyun until your birthday. It was just a small get together, but your place was starting to get a bit crowded as time went by. Johnny had been suffocating you with hugs ever since he got there, reminiscing the time you met as teenagers and calling you an old lady. Jungwoo on the other hand couldn’t stop asking about Jaehyun. You kept making excuses about how he didn’t feel so good today and might not make it. You didn’t expect him to come, of course. Just because you had agreed on fake dating, it didn’t mean that he had any obligation to be present in all your social events. The loving message he left on your Facebook wall was enough to fulfill the purpose of your current relationship.

That is why, when you heard a knock on your door, the last thing you thought you’d see was Jaehyun holding a dozen of red roses.

“Happy birthday baby!”, he exclaimed and gave you a kiss on your cheek,

“I asked Johnny about your favorite flowers, hope we got it right”

Feeling speechless, you took the roses from his hands and inhaled their sweet scent. You were dumbfounded that he actually came, and even brought you a present. You thanked him for coming, and he repeated the same thing he said back at your place, “how could your boyfriend miss your birthday?”

And even you were fooled, momentarily, when he held you by the waist later that night and sang you happy birthday. You blew your candles and all you could wish for was a love like the one Jaehyun was faking for you. He helped you clean up, and was more than willing to socialize with all of your friends. You admired how well he fitted in your social circle, already friends with Johnny and Jungwoo, yet so nice that even people he met for the first time came to love him.

You were sitting on one of your dining chairs, your two best friends already passed out on your couch. They had brought two bottles of vodka and your favorite tequila, but you weren’t in the mood to drink. You couldn’t help but remember the time when you practically begged Yuta to be there on your special day and he still missed it. You were scared that if you got a little drunk you would text him, or worse, call him, his sweet talk bringing you back to him all over again.

The only sounds resonating through your apartment were Jungwoo’s light snoring and a chill Spotify playlist playing from your laptop. A familiar tune came on, and you recognized it being ‘Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby’ by Cigarettes After Sex. You immediately looked at Jaehyun, the only conscious person still at the party other than you. He threw his head back and sighed contently at the sound of his favorite song. You saw him get up and walk over to you, reaching his hand out.

“Will the birthday girl spare me a dance?”

You slow danced in the middle of your living room, ending the night in the sweetest note. Jaehyun always felt so stable, so safe. You wondered how he got himself tangled up in that mess of a relationship with Naeun. Maybe it was the way he treated people with such kindness, void of any prejudice. Maybe he was a little bit like you, and didn’t think he deserved much.

“She’s crazy” you mumble against his chest, his confused hum making you feel the vibration on your face.

“Naeun. She’s crazy for ever cheating on someone like you. You’re perfect”

“I have my flaws”

You thought about how competitive he got when you played beer pong earlier, how his ears get red when he gets embarrassed, how he shows his dimpled smile in apology when he’s late. His love for drinking and how it makes him more honest, his trust in people that must have gotten him hurt many, many times. You liked them all, you loved them all.

“It’s just so hard for someone not to fall in love with you”

———————————————————

And that’s how the days went by with Jaehyun. You met up almost every day, in restaurants for a nice dinner, or hanging out in each other’s dorm. It was so much fun getting to spend time with him, that you sometimes forgot to make your meetup public on social media. You helped him with his math homework, and he helped you dye your hair. You even went to his basketball game, and he dedicated one of his goals to you, following every teen movie cliche.

You felt a little sad how it was all falling to an end. The plan was successful, for the most part. Naeun had asked Jaehyun to meet up later tonight, talk things through. You wished he wouldn’t go back to her, but you knew you had no real say in his love life. Yuta saw that he didn’t own you, that there were people like Jaehyun that were willing to give you what your ex had promised you, but wasn’t able to give. Well, not really, you reminded yourself. Jaehyun was faking it. You shouldn’t let yourself get lost in the fairytale, even if the past two weeks were some of the best of your life. He had proposed that you claim that the reason for your upcoming ‘breakup’ was differences in character, but you decided to stay friends. You were happy that at least, in the midst of all this mess, you met someone like him.

It was Saturday, a day before the frat party. You had invited him over, celebrate the end of your relationship with some pizza and a movie.

The movie was boring, but Jaehyun made you laugh. It reminded you of the first time the two of you met up alone. You had gotten comfy on your couch, sharing popcorn when you noticed. A huge bruise was peeking out from Jaehyun’s tank top, the dark color contrasting against his porcelain skin.

“What the hell?!” you exclaimed and scooted closer to him. You rushed your hands on his chest, your fingers pushing the fabric aside to examine the bruise. You found even more bruises scattered around it, accompanied with scratches that stretched longer than his top could.

“It was from the game the other day”, he tried to excuse, but you weren’t buying it.

“Jae, I was there. You played basketball, not WWE. Now who did this to you?”

He sighed and fidgeted with a loose string on his jeans, clearly uncomfortable.

“When I caught Naeun with my roommate, and broke up with her, she didn’t take it very well”

You kept staring at him, urging him to continue.

“She started calling me names, saying that she’s the best I’ll ever have. That I’m worthless without her, just a social climber trying to mooch off of her popularity”

He motioned on his torso, “When I kicked her out of my place, this happened”

“Is that the first time she acted violent?”

He shook his head. “Pretty much every time she didn’t get her way”

“Jae”, you started, placing your hands on top of his “this is abuse. Have you ever talked to anyone about it?”

“It’s- it’s nothing. It’s embarrassing”

“No it’s not! Abuse is not exclusive to any gender! Guys get affected by it too!”

“It’s embarrassing because I know I can physically stop her but I don’t”

His eyes were starting to water, the sight was heartbreaking. “I sit there frozen and just take it”

“Why?”

“Because part of me believes her. That I’m hopeless without someone like her, dictating what I can and cannot do. I don’t need a shrink to tell me that it’s sick. I have these bruises to remind me”

You were starting to get angry. Angry at that bitch for hurting him, angry at Jaehyun who puts up with it, angry at you, for not seeing past the obvious like everyone else.

“I’m not letting you go see her tonight”

He laughs at you, putting up an invisible barrier between you.

“Not letting me? Wake up y/n! We’re not a real couple, remember? We’re just faking it to satisfy our selfish needs. This whole thing is pointless”

He stormed to the door and you tried to stop him, but he was too riled up for that.

“You’re going to forget about me as soon as this whole circus is over, just like everyone else”

“How can you accuse me like that when you haven’t even let me be a part of your life for real?”

“Because now you’ve met me. Me. With all my ugly, all my fucking bruises. Is it still so hard not to fall in love with me?”

With that, he closed your door with a bang, not even letting you answer that yes, it was impossible not to fall in love with Jung Jaehyun.

———————————————————

History seemed to repeat itself, as you got a text from him the next morning, that you didn’t expect.

jaehyunnie: let’s meet outside of the frat at 10:30, i’ll bring the booze.

And that’s what you did, showing up with your shortest skirt, spotting Jaehyun sitting a few meters from the frat’s entrance. He was laying against the wall, his eyes red, and he gave you the same smile he always did when he saw you, as if your fight yesterday never happened.

“Hey baby” he said and pulled you in for a hug. You couldn’t resist the invitation, and felt yourself melting in his embrace. He smelled like weed and shower gel.

It was nice, how he proclaimed your truce, but you still had to get something off your chest.

“Listen, Jae, about last night, you were right. This whole thing is pointless. We can go home, if you want”

“No baby”, he started and pulled away just enough to look at you. His eyes were droopy but glancing back at you with such care as he moved a strand of hair out of your face, “we’re here to have fun”

You wondered why he was still willing to come to the party with you as your boyfriend. Maybe he wanted to do you one last favor with Yuta, or maybe he wasn’t done indulging in Naeun’s petty games. You looked at his forearms, noticing a few scratches that weren’t there yesterday.

“I’m guessing you and Naeun didn’t make up last night”

He shook his head, and rubbed his hands on your back, keeping your temper down.

“Did you get in a fight?”

“Something like that”

You didn’t know what came over you. It was anger and protectiveness, possessiveness even. You laced your fingers in his locks, letting his head rest against the wall. If Naeun wanted you to speak in her language, then so be it.

You started kissing his neck, on that part on the side that is tender and sensitive. You heard passerbys whistling at the two of you, seemingly getting it on in public. Your licks and sucks weren’t meant for pleasure though, you had a goal and that was to leave a bruise. A statement for Naeun.

You walked in the building hand in hand and followed Jae to the kitchen, where he poured you a drink out of the bottle he brought along. Looking around, you sensed a couple familiar faces staring back at you from the crowd. Taeyong from class, Mark and Ten, and last but not least, Naeun. You downed the drink in one shot and lead Jaehyun to the dance floor.

He put his hands on your hips, and swayed you at the sound of some club song you weren’t familiar with. You ground your ass against him and he hissed, keeping you close against him. A little voice in your head was screaming how this isn’t real, to him this is all pretend, but you ignored it. You wanted her to think that he was yours, that she couldn’t hurt him anymore.

“Why are you doing this to me y/n? Yuta’s not even around”

Jae turned you around, and you put your hands on his shoulders. He looked absolutely breathtaking tonight. You searched his face for a flaw, yet couldn’t find any. You wouldn’t change a single thing on him.

“She’s here” you said venomously.

He buried his face in your neck, inhaling the smell of your hair and trying to ground himself from his high. “I don’t give a fuck about Naeun”

He kissed your ear and your mind fogged up even more.

“She didn’t ask me to meet up yesterday, I did. I wanted to tell her that she and I were done, for good. I thought she wouldn’t be here tonight, but I guess she changed her mind”

What?

“Then why are you here? And why did you let me give you that big ass hickey?”

He stopped nibbling on your ear, and whispered to it instead.

“I’d never miss up on a chance to feel yours”

The bodies dancing next to you, the liquer you had downed a few minutes ago and Jaehyun’s words were getting too much to handle. You felt suffocated, unable to distinguish where reality ended and pretending began with you two.

“Jae, I need a moment, excuse me”

Releasing yourself from his grasp, you made your way to the kitchen. There wasn’t any fresh air, but there was plenty of booze. You poured yourself a shot and as you downed it, you felt another liquid trickling down your top.

You looked up to find out who managed to make this night even worse for you, only to come across the last person you needed to see tonight. Yuta.

“Shit I’m sorry”, he muttered and you avoided eye contact, thinking you’d manage to get away without him realizing it was you. Luck wasn’t on your side tonight.

“Well well well. Long time no see.”

Confidence was dripping from his smile, to his stance, to the way he looked at you. He had dyed his hair your favorite color, his white locks begging to be tugged and played with. To top it all off, he smelled good, so, so good. He smelled dangerous. Comfortable.

You immediately realized that you didn’t have the self control needed to resist him. Turning on your heel, you started to get the hell out of there when he held your wrist, keeping you in place.

“Wait, I’m sorry, you can’t stay like this, you’ll catch a cold”

“Since when are you worried about me?”

“C’mon y/n, please. Come upstairs, I’ll give you a clean shirt. No funny business, I promise”

You hated yourself for this, but you followed him upstairs to his room, like a pray falling right into the hunter’s trap. He closed the door behind him, muting the loud music and you sat on his bed that you were so familiar with. Looking through his closet, he passed you one of his t-shirts, and turned around to let you change with some privacy. It was comical how chivalrous he was acting, considering the unspeakable things you’ve done in here.

“Not like you’ll see something you haven’t seen already”, you murmured and he chuckled, raising his hands.

“Hey, I’m a gentleman. It’s my fault, after all. I have a habit of getting you wet.”

Blushing at his comment, you quickly changed into the clean shirt and felt the bed dip next to you. You thanked him under your breath and started getting up, when you felt him hold you back once again.

“Stay, just a moment. I’ve missed you”

“What do you want?”

“You, baby”

Yuta was the one who said it, but you swore you felt Jaehyun’s voice reverberating through the nickname. Suddenly, it felt like there was no air for you to breathe.

“That’s not happening, Yuta. I’m with Jaehyun now”

He scoffed, “Jaehyun? Naeun’s puppy? Come on now, we both know you can do better than that”

“Don’t talk about him like that”, you bite back, but he doesn’t budge.

“What kind of boyfriend leaves his girl alone in a party like this?” He grips your chin, making you stare at him face to face, impossibly close. “Look at you. Every single guy in this party wants to fuck you. You expect me to be ok with this?”

Yuta lets his other hand glide on your knee, moving up to your thigh slowly. He smiled at how easy it was to focus on him.

“Do you remember how I made you feel? How I reminded you that you’re mine? You were moaning so loud, Mark thought you’d pass out. You loved it.”

You wanted to scream, tell him that this was the past you, that you couldn’t take going back to him once again and get your heart broken one more time, but you felt helpless around him. The warm feeling was only temporary, it would soon evaporate when you face the fact that to him, you are nothing but a play toy, a possession.

And that’s when Jaehyun barged in through the door. His eyes moved frantically from Yuta’s hands on your thighs, to his band tee you wore, to your discarded top on the floor. He quickly turned red, the color spreading from his neck to his face, then landing on his ears.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend?”

You instantly got up, following his thought sequence.

“It’s not what it looks like! He spilled his drink on me and gave me a clean shirt and..and..”

“And you decided to sit on his lap to thank him?”, he mocked you and Yuta laughed.

“Calm down, dude. I didn’t make her do anything. Besides, it’s not the first time y/n found her way over here after some disappointing dick”

Jaehyun grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up from the bed, forcing him to stand and face him. You moved between the two, trying to stop the catastrophe that was about to happen. Jae might have more muscle power than Yuta, but if the whole frat ganged up on him he would have to leave this place in a stretcher.

“Jaehyun please, let’s just go. Baby, please”

The nickname was the only thing that brought him out of his rage and made him listen to you. He let go of Yuta and took your hand, dragging you out of the room.

You were two hallways down when you pulled away, forcing him to stop.

“Why did you have to get so mad?”

“Why the fuck did you go back to him?”

“I didn’t! It was just.. so hard for me to tell him no”

You felt your eyes water with how pathetic you sounded. Jaehyun rubbed his hands over his face, groaning in frustration.

“Don’t you understand how much it fucking hurts? To see you with that guy that treats you like shit when I’m right here, willing to give you everything? When I’m in love with you?”

You couldn’t process what he said because in a moment, his mouth was on yours. The kiss was so different than the one you shared at the hallway of your campus. It was passionate, it was rough, and this time, he monopolized your attention. His lips were determined to bruise into yours, leaving you breathless and causing your back to fall against a wall. It was crowded around you, eyes prying into your intimate moment but to you, the only person around was Jaehyun.

“You smell like him”, he growled, sucking on the tender spot under your ear, “makes me wanna fuck his scent off of you”

That was all you needed to hear. You led him to the frat’s guest room, knowing that Taeil always kept a spare key in the lamp next to the door. Unlocking the door seemed like a tour de force with Jaehyun leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck, but you finally managed to stumble inside. You locked the door behind you, continuing your heated kiss, hands roaming around each other’s body.

He was taller than you, so when you felt him grab your ass with such eagerness, you almost lifted off the ground. You palmed him through his jeans, the roughness of his hard on making your panties stick from wetness just a bit more.

“I want to taste you” you managed through kisses, but he just unzipped your skirt as a response, pulling it to the floor in one hasty move. Petting your clit through your underwear, a shiver ran down your spine, spreading goosebumps all over your arms and legs.

“I don’t think I have the patience for that”

He walked you backwards towards the guest bed, taking his pants and shirt off along the way. You sat on the edge of it and admired his godly proportions, when you took notice of the bruises and scratches that led to your fight on Saturday. Suddenly feeling the need to slow down, you started leaving kisses over each and every one of them. You wanted him to trust you, give in to you completely. He had his flaws just like he said, but you wanted all of him. And you wanted him now.

“I need you, now”, you voiced your thoughts and helped him take off his boxers, revealing his hard cock. He was thick and decently long, making your mouth water and your pussy clench.

Towering on top of you, he removed your panties that were embarrassingly damp at this point, and by his smirk, you knew he noticed.

Jaehyun bent your legs next to your torso, making you expose all of you. He licked his lips as he dove into your lower ones, muttering praises about your “pretty pussy”, turning you impossibly wet.

Jung Jaehyun never disappoints, you thought, because the moment you felt the first lap over your sensitive bud, you got a taste of heaven. He alternated between licking and sucking over the spot that turned you into putty against him. You were already unbearably turned on at this point, and the changing pace of his tongue made you lose your mind.

Your pants and moans only seemed to urge him on, and after a few minutes of his careful treatment you felt yourself getting close. He must have sensed it, because when you grabbed the bedpost in an effort to stop shaking, he stood on his knees, and reached for a condom in his wallet.

You didn’t have time to complain about the denial of your orgasm, and started taking Yuta’s shirt off, when he grabbed your hands and placed them back on their previous position on the headboard.

“Don’t”, he said sternly as he lined himself up your entrance, “I want to fuck you in his shirt”

There was no time to think about whether his request was healthy or not, because when you felt him stretch you out, the only thing on your mind was him and his dick.

You let out a deep moan and he took it as a sign to screw himself deeper inside you. Your pussy gushed uncontrollably, filling the room with the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin. You unlaced your fingers and ran them down his back, ghosting them over the dimples that had affected you so much.

Jaehyun lowered himself, letting his chest touch yours, and you could feel his abs contracting over the fabric of Yuta’s shirt.

“I bet he’s never eaten you out like that, yeah?”

“N-no, never, ahh”

He sat up again, putting your legs over his shoulders and lifted your butt off the mattress, gripping your hips to steady himself before continuing his incredible pace.

“You’re mine, aren’t you baby? Mine to give you everything.”

The position felt divine. He was hitting it incredibly deep, reaching the spot that had you moaning so loud you were thankful for the unbearably loud music of the party. You were sure his fingers would leave a mark over your hipbones but you didn’t care, the pain only accentuating the warm feeling in your belly.

“J-Jae don’t stop - fuck don’t stop I’m gonna cum”

He leaned over, grabbing your face that was contorting in pleasure.

“Look at me when you cum for me”, he demanded, and when you rolled your eyes behind your head, letting go, he let out his first moan for the night.

He kissed your lips sweetly, helping you ride out your high.

“You’re so beautiful, my baby. So, so beautiful”, he praised and you submitted fully to him. He turned your body around, positioning you in all fours, and you wondered where the gentle boy you met at Johnny’s house went. His dick buried in you once again, spreading your juices around and the sensitivity of your previous orgasm made you aware of every single inch.

“So fucking tight”

Jaehyun didn’t go easy on you. He saw how much you liked it, how you were pushing your ass against his cock. He pounded in and out of you with the intention of fucking your thoughts out, and that’s just what he did. When the feeling got too much, and making any sort of noise seemed like a feat, you felt him push your hair back, and start biting on your neck, most definitely leaving a mark.

“I’m gonna cum. Fuck, I’m gonna cum”, he muttered, his voice wavering and you felt him release in the condom inside you.

It took a while for the both of you to regain your breaths. Jaehyun’s chest was heaving up and down as you rest your head on top of it, not brave enough to break the silence.

“I’m sorry”, he finally said and started petting your hair lovingly.

“About what?”

The bed was foreign and small but you both stayed still, wanting to bask a little more in the peacefulness of the moment.

“About getting so possessive, and saying all these things out of jealousy. I acted just like him..”

You kissed his left peck, listening to his heart that was starting to beat in a faster pace.

“Jaehyun, you’re nothing like Yuta. I get how you felt, I feel the same way when I think about you with Naeun”

He took your hand that was resting on his abs and planted a kiss on your palm. Your heart did a flip and you were pressed so close together, he sure must have felt it.

“I should have told you about her sooner. About the fights and how I let her go because of you. I was in denial about my feelings for you because-“

He stopped mid sentence, wary of the way his words would come off to you. Jaehyun was a proud man, but he opened up his heart tonight, admitting he was in love with you. He had already exposed so much of himself that you gave him the time he needed to organize his thoughts.

“Because I was insecure. That you would never like someone like me. That Naeun was right. That you were only interested in playing pretend with me and didn’t mean any of the things you said, and I let myself get carried away in a lie”

You and Jaehyun were two lost souls, trying to break free from the constraints your insecurities built up for you. You didn’t have to succumb to your masochistic tendencies anymore, wasting your time in heartless lovers because now you found him and he found you. Both unable to see any value in themselves, but more that willing to treasure the other. And that was enough for you.

“I’d be honored to be loved by someone like you. Baby.”

#jaehyun smut #nct jaehyun #nct smut #jung jaehyun #yuta smut #jaehyun angst #yuta scenarios #jaehyun scenarios #nct scenarios #nct au #nct 127

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

ain't it fun? | part two

Part Two

summary: reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.

warnings: falling in love, fluff, hurt/comfort, implied/referenced smut, non-descriptive

a/n: so glad you liked part 1 I couldn't help myself from continuing

word count: 3k

from the beginning

She’s laying in his bed, one of his friends showed up early and she’s pretending she’s not there. But his friend brought breakfast and it smells good and she’s starving.

After crewing the hell out of her lip and 5 minutes of hyping herself up; she gets up off the bed, still in her sweater and shorts from their movie night, and she slowly opens the bedroom door, peaking out to see if Spencer was in view.

“Hello?” A friendly man spots her, standing as he makes his way to shake her hand. “I’m Derek.”

“Y/N,” she smiles.

“Pleasure to meet you,” he smiles back. “What’s going on here?” He gestures to her and then back to Spencer as he exits the kitchen and sees her.

“We watched star trek all night, if you don’t believe me I can make him recount it to you from memory?” Y/N replies, smirking like she knows him just as well as his friend.

“And how might you know Spencer?” Derek teases right back.

“He’s my best friend in the whole world,” she replies like it’s nothing, “and I live across the hall.”

Derek shoots a look at Spencer that’s almost proud, almost emotional, like a mom who heard she’s going to be a grandma, “Is that true?”

Spencer blushes, “she’s my best friend.”

“Tell me how this all happened!” Derek is more than excited, sitting down on the couch with a wide grin as he waits to hear more.

“Um, we met in the hall, we have the same interests and now we watch movies together and have sleepovers with candy and popcorn, like we’re 13-year-old girls? I’ve even braided his hair,” she avoids the real reason why they met. Unsure if Spencer has told anyone about his drug problem or not.

“And now I’m going to go finish sleeping in my own bed,” she makes awkward finger guns at the door accompanied by her most awkward smile and she’s off.

Spencer follows her out into the hall, closing the door and looking at her apologetically; “I’m sorry, I won’t tell him anything more about us if you don’t want me to?”

“Us?” She questions? “You tell me you love me a lot, but you’ve never told me who you want me to be to you… I want you to think about that and then come and see me later.”

“Can I have a kiss? It helps me think better,” he whispers as he leans in.

She rolls her eyes, playfully, leaning in as well until their lips meet. It’s soft and sweet and she wishes there could be more, but for now she has to go.

Once she’s inside, she leans against the door of her apartment and listens to see when he goes back inside. Only what she hears is even better, “Derek, I’m going to have to ask you to leave so I can go ask her to be my girlfriend.”

He shoos the man from his apartment, avoiding all his questions and convincing him to finally leave by saying, “you’ve been telling me for months that I need to get over it, and now you’re going to stand here and stop me from telling her I love her, again?”

“Again?”

“Derek!”

“Fine.”

And then he’s knocking on her door, “who is it?” She teases.

“Y/N, open the door, please?” He begs without a single regret behind his tone.

She opens it slowly, “yes?”

He tilts his head with a look that screams; ‘come on?’

But she looks back at him as if to say; ‘what about it?'

“Are you really going to make me say it?”

“The first step in getting help is admitting you have a problem.”

He laughs at the absurdity, “you’re kidding?”

“Spencer, even though you’re a pain in my ass; would you like to be my boyfriend? I’m asking because the words make it real, and I would like you to really know how I feel, thanks for coming,” she extends her arm into the apartment, gesturing for him to walk in and he does so with a laugh.

“I would love to be your boyfriend,” he responds once the door is closed. “I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t want this to be real?”

She can tell he’s not sure why he’s apologizing, “I need confirmation. I can’t sleep in your bed almost every night for a month, and just have to guess if I’m allowed to call you my boyfriend when my mom calls and asks why I won't text her back at night.”

“Oh,” he looks upset. “I thought that by telling you that I love you that it would work, but I understand. I really would like to be your boyfriend and be yours for however long you’ll have me.”

Her heart melts in her chest, he's so nervous and shy because he truly means it. His heart is in her hands now, “how long are you available?”

“Forever.”

“I have more questions,” she whispers as she moves closer, pressing their bodies together as she holds his sides and he holds her shoulders.

“Okay.”

“What did you mean out there, and also sorry for listening, but I’d like to know…”

“It’s okay,” his words are soft. “I’m um, a virgin?”

“Oh?” Her eyes shoot wide open, “I was expecting like an ex who broke your heart?”

“Oh no, I’ve never… I don’t... no,” he shakes his head profusely. “I’m not in a rush either, I just wanted him to leave me alone. That’s not what I’m in here for.”

She smiles, “I am too…” she whispers, “I’m really glad you are too, actually.”

“You’ve thought about it?”

“Think, big brain, go back to right before I closed my door that first night…” she teases him before making a fake VHS tape rewind sound that always makes him laugh.

“You wanted to leave the group because you can’t sleep with members while you’re healing,” he smirks at his recollection, “I mean, other than the general attraction, have you thought about the possibility of that happening for us one day?”

She nods again, “one day, I’m cool just making out with you for now, actually. But yes. I would like for you to be my first because I trust you the most out of every single person I’ve ever met.”

He looks like his heart is exploding as his grip on her shoulders tightens, “I would like for you to be mine too, eventually.”

“Eventually,” she repeats with a small smile, leaning in for another small kiss.

“Derek left without his breakfast, and he didn't even get a chance to touch it yet…” Spencer whispers against her lips.

She laughs through her nose, kissing him once more before pulling away, “come on, boyfriend.”

—

She’s been in Quantico for 5 months, 3 of which she’s now spent with Spencer.

She’s laying beside him as they watch star trek and her mind is off in space. She can’t focus on anything other than the thought of her rent coming due and how she’s probably going to have to decide if she wants to leave after her 6-month lease is up.

“Spence,” she whispers, “do you know any other cheap apartment buildings in the area?”

“Why?”

She turns to face him, the yellows, reds and blues flash across the screen and illuminate him lightly, “I don’t have enough money to keep living here, and I don’t want to move back in with my parents.”

“Would you like to move in with me?” He asks carefully, “don’t feel pressured to say yes, it’s just I’m never really here and I don’t want you to leave.”

She smiles at the offer, “If I move in I have to tell the disability people, and then my disability money will change because you make so much and they still believe that men own women when they get together, like some what's yours is mine, shit.”

“Really?”

She nods, “yeah. They'll want to know how much you make every month when I get my statement and then they decide what I deserve because if you’re making money, clearly I’m taken care of, right?”

He can hear her sarcasm and he knows it's just to mask the hurt, and she can tell by the way his whole face changes.

“Wrong,” Spencer is oddly defensive. “That is so wrong, there are so many women in this country trapped with terrible men who abuse them. They never see a single dime of the money that comes in, and if they have children they are lucky to receive money for groceries. I’ve seen all of it first hand, it’s horrific, and yet they still think they can take care of disabled women who are in more need of money than anyone else?”

“I love you.”

“What?” He stops, breathing, blinking, everything. He just stares at her as he comprehends it.

She hasn’t said it back yet.

“I love you.” She repeats it and smiles, tears welling in her eyes as she appreciates how much he really does care; how much he really gets it.

“Lie, tell them you’re back with your parents. It’s not like they check-up and then just stay here. Move your things in and make this your place too, do whatever you want to it, it deserves to be lived in.”

“You’re really serious?” She’s not sure why she’s so surprised, he’s been saying he loves her every single day for the last 2 months and 3 weeks.

She’s loved him the whole time, but she’s afraid of that at the same time because once she loves him out loud, then she loves him for real and that’s scary. He has a scary job and he’s never home and if she loves him then she has to deal with that and the fact he might not come home one day.

He nods gently, “I know you need a lot of space for your art supplies so move whatever you need to to make room. I think you’re magnificent, and I don’t think that you should feel held back, I'll do anything to help you with your little craft store.”

A tear slips past her eye and towards the pillow, she blinks as she smiles, unable to speak as she just appreciates his kindness, “I think when whatever is out there made your soul, they were like 'this one; he’s special, we’re only making one of him and he’s going to go through some shit, but it’s because someone else is too and they need each other.'”

Spencer’s smile grows, large and toothy as he moves in closer to hold her. Noses pressed together, they’re hugging basically now, arms wrapped around each other and legs tangled as they enjoy the moment. It’s so nice, there’s nothing left to say.

They’re content with each other.

—

She moves what she needs into Spencer’s apartment the next week, he’s out of town and it’s easier this way with him out of the way.

It’s easier to miss him in here though, everything smells like him and feels like him, and his personality is on every single wall. She wants him to come home so badly, living without him for random bouts of time was the worst part of their relationship.

The rest of her things are in boxes in her apartment, waiting by the door for when Spencer comes back. He offered to put everything in his old Volvo Amazon and meet her parents for the weekend and her mother was through the roof over it.

She has called 4 times in the last week to ask about all Spencer’s favourite meals, what he likes for breakfast most mornings and if he had any allergies. She’s cleaned the “guest” room, which was really just where she slept before, and she was very clear that he was allowed to sleep with her as long as no funny business happened.

That was the funny part.

They still weren’t doing it and she was fine with that, so was he. Neither of them was ready, emotionally nor physically. They’ve both been through some terrible things that make it very hard for them to want to share yet.

She loves him more this way, while the sex would probably be amazing and she knew they were both getting off anyway and they weren’t secretive about it, at all. They just didn’t do it together yet… and she was starting to want to.

The most they’ve done is the occasional mutual masturbation session and that was just when they were too lazy to do it when they were alone, earlier in the day, and just needed to in order to finally sleep. It was always quick, quicker than when she would do it alone because he was just so cute like that.

She found herself getting off to thoughts of him more than anything else the longer and longer they shared more and got to know each other.

Because while, yes, they live together and they’re dating; they’re still really just best friends and roommates. They don’t see each other as often as they want to, they have separate friend groups, she has meetings on the other side of town now and they’ve never even been on a date.

For how fast they looked to be moving to anyone who knew them, they were going extremely slow behind the scenes. The reality is, they were following the rules of addiction recovery more than the rules of society.

She wasn’t really ready to take on the emotional commitment of having sex with someone when she wasn’t really over her trauma. It went far deeper than just her addiction, there was more Spencer had no idea about and she wanted to make sure he knew everything before he met her parents.

So like always, they got into bed as soon as he returned and they had a cuddle conversation. It was soothing to not only feel the other person close, but they both stimmed by running their hands over something soft. He knew something was up as soon as he walked in the door and she asked for a cuddle before even saying hello.

He didn’t, however, expect the long-winded backstory of her childhood to be the issue. He was silent the whole time she explained, he cried with her as his cheek rested on her forehead and her tears fell onto his shirt below her face.

Learning his past was just as hard.

She cant imagine how no one could love him, no one took him in and offered him shelter and love and warmth. He deserved kindness and family. He was worth the world and then some to her, and it hurt so deeply to think of no one showing that to him. He’s spent the last 25 years just searching aimlessly for a single iota of respect.

No wonder he fell in love with her so easily.

—

The first time is terribly awkward but incredibly euphoric… and they cry after. Not from sadness or regret; no, they’re so in love and so happy with their choices, it’s more of an overwhelming overflowing of emotions that was bound to erupt along with them.

“This has to be the most vulnerable time in the entire world if you really think about it,” Spencer justifies why he’s crying as he starts to get anxious about being too much. “I mean we’ve already seen each other naked and know each other outside… we might as well share what's going on inside too.”

She nods against his sweaty chest, “I used to be really upset that my doctors put me on Dilaudid. I still hate that all this happened to us, but I’m really glad we don’t have to be alone anymore.”

“Me too,” he whispers.

It gets easier the more they do it. It’s still always hilariously awkward, they were so stupidly in love it translated into every moment; like when they attempted shower sex and knocked the curtain down and got water everywhere. Or the time they attempted a quickie in the bar bathroom and his boss walked in, and they had to try not to laugh or move or do anything as they made the most awkward, silent, eye contact ever, in the corner of the stall.

Being horny and awkward was the worst combination but they made it work pretty well.

He was tender and loving and he listened to instructions well. He was a quick learner, he was happy with whatever she wanted and he always, always, tried to finish last. (He wasn’t that lucky) but he was a truly nice guy.

She loved him more and more as the seconds passed. He was just so wonderful, he had his up and downs but they always had great communication, and he understood her unpredictability from her disabilities. The best part was that he loved her regardless of how she was when she woke up in the morning, and she always went to bed with either a kiss or a text proving he loved her.

Before they knew it, a year had passed and she was laying in his bed while he got ready for work. She loved watching his selection process, his colour coordinated closet and handy-dandy tie organization rack. He was so cute, and he always looked so amazing.

“I don’t want you to go in today,” she whispers with a pout.

He takes his phone off the dresser and calls in then, “yeah, Hotch I’m really not doing well. I don’t know what we ate last night but I— yeah thank you.”

He puts everything back in the closet and crawls right back into bed, he snuggled back in close and she smiled at her job well done. He didn’t need to be at work as often as he was, he had a lot of personal and sick days stored and they were always telling him to use them. He deserved a break for that beautiful brain of his, an 8-hour turnaround between psychopaths wasn’t good for anyone, especially not the 2nd most prized possession of the FBI.

“What do you do during the day when I’m not here?” He asked, genuinely not knowing how she occupied her time outside of his presence.

“I sleep until 11,” she whispers as she snuggles in closer.

He’s warm and cuddly and perfect. Naps in the morning are possibly the best periods of sleep someone can ever experience. It’s so relaxing to reward the body with more time, and it’s even better when it includes the perfect snuggle companion.

Taglist:

@g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #aint it fun

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dumpsiteforfics · 3 years

Text

Yearning - Excerpts From a lonely heart : [ Chapter 4]

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid

Rating: Mature

Genre: Angst and fluff

Summary: In a world where Omegas are rare and treasured, Spencer starts to have feelings for his married boss and pack Alpha, Aaron Hotchner! This is a story of Spencer Reid and Aaron Hotchner who are true mates, but probably met eachother at wrong time. Join me on a journey to find out whether the pining ever ends (it does, I know)

Trigger warnings: mentions of death, suicide, A/B/O, Drugs, Kidnapping, spoilers to criminal minds season 1 to season 6. Also, will include mpreg, at the end.

This is my a/b/o universe for Heid. As the name suggests, lots of yearning and angst followed by a fluff and smut eventually. First chapter might be slower but things will pick up soon. I don’t want to make the story longer, but we will see!!

Also, please check trigger warnings and also let me know if you would like me to add more warnings!

English is my third language so expect grammatical mistakes and typos, I don’t have a beta sorry. Also I hope you will give it some love!! I’m looking forward to the feedback.

AO3 links : Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

More about this au: Click here

Chapter summary: Reid struggles with his feelings and Gideon decides to not address some issues which should've been addressed. On the other hand, Haley makes an appearance as Hotch goes back home to his family.

After they took Reid to hospital, everyone except Gideon was allowed inside the ward. The ward was on lockdown as that was the process for admitting any Omega and since Reid's Alpha wasn't known yet, Gideon was the only one allowed as he was the medical proxy. Hotch hadn't liked being kept out of the loop but he knew it was a law and the rules were in place for protection of Omega, so kept quiet and waited for Gideon to come back with an update.

When Gideon came back with information, he explained how the injuries aren't going to leave any lasting effect but he was certainly beaten up alot causing terrible physical as well as mental damage. He said Reid was going to be kept under observation for at least two days to ensure he is healing up without any issues and doctor's have recommended sessions with a psychologist to ensure his mental health.

Hotch really wanted to meet Reid, to confirm once again that he was indeed alive and well, but he controlled his instincts. Reid needed space, after the emotional rollercoaster he had been through the past two days, he needed to be away from his conflicting emotions and his overbearing protective urges. Hotch trusted Gideon to take the right decision for Reid's health and as he anyways won't be allowed inside to see Reid today, he decided to just finish up all the chaos that he has to clear up due to the turnout of this case. He gathered the team, telling Gideon once again to reach out if anything is wrong or if Reid needs anything and then they all left for the police station, wanting to close up everything about the case so they can take Reid home as soon as he is discharged.

***†***

Reid felt it was a blessing in disguise that Gideon wasn't an alpha. That's probably the reason his bag was still in Gideon's car and he wasn't questioned throughout the ride about the smell of drugs. Before getting out of the car, Spencer had used his sleigh of hand to slip those vials into the little scent-blocking pouch he carried which held all the scents he wanted for any emergency purpose inside. The pouch and some small scent-blocking bags were a blessing for omegas who wanted to keep the scents that made them comfortable with them without overwhelming others. His pouch held his mother's handkerchief, Ethan's earring and one little bottle of scandle wood scent. And now those vials made their way inside. He knew it was horrible, it was pathetic and it was disgusting, but he was desperate to make sure no one gets their hands on it, he would probably throw them out later, but right now he just needed to know they were there!!

He knew doctors told Gideon about him having traces of dilaudid in his blood and he was waiting for the confrontation. He was waiting for Gideon to storm in and ask him about why he had those vials with him. But when Gideon did come in, his eyes were empty of any emotions. Reid was unable to even gauge how he was feeling because his instincts have been overused and tired. He just listened as Gideon told him that doctors wanted to keep him under observation to make sure he doesn't go through the withdrawal alone without any medical supervision. Reid felt his eyes welling up with tears and he wanted to admit everything to Gideon but Gideon just wiped those tears for him and said, " I know it's difficult, I know you are conflicted by something, but nothing is accidental. You'll get through it, we all do!"

And Reid felt pathetic. How can Gideon be so empathetic when it came to other victims but now he was saying things that didn't make sense? Was this supposed to make him feel better? Because all he was feeling after listening to it was that he was weak for letting his trauma get him to make bad decisions. He felt Gideon was just trying to brush off his responsibilities and wanted Reid to decide everything on his own. And he didn't like it at all. He wanted guidance, he wanted support, he wanted acknowledgement of his suffering, he wanted understanding but he now knew how pathetic he was for even wishing that. He was all alone through it after all!!

He spent the next two days in hospital waiting to go home. The team had come to visit him after closing the case, and he was expecting them to ask him about his trauma, he wanted them to try to understand what he was going through, but he could see how haunted they still looked after everything that had happened. He could sense the dread of those memories in their minds. So he decided he wouldn't ask anyone for anything more. It was his journey, and he will walk alone. He had troubled them enough anyways.

All through this he had observed how their pack Alpha was too quiet. He was always somewhere close to Reid, never letting him be physically alone, but he never talked. His dark eyes were just observing him, trying to find out what was wrong, but Reid didn't want to think about it anymore. Before this case, he would've enjoyed being the focus of that dark gaze, but now he just felt judged, analysed and he doubled up his efforts in making sure to close off his every instinct so Hotch wouldn't realise what was wrong. He needed to let go of those pathetic feelings he felt for Hotch!

***†***

The night they come back home, Aaron waits long enough to strip off his weapons and take a quick bath before pulling Haley close in his lap and burying his face in her neck. He tightened his arms around her, finally letting the control over his feelings slip. Haley's fingers slowly caressed the back of his neck before moving up in his hair, scratching his scalp the way she knew always made him feel better. He relaxed slowly in her comforting embrace. She was his safe haven, she was always there, waiting for him and giving out comfort without asking questions. He knew as a unit chief his workload had increased and there were times when that made her lash out, but it was because she was all alone to take care of their newborn while he was out saving the world. She deserved better, she deserved a partner that gave her time, that made sure to pamper her, that supported her and Aaron couldn't be that. But no matter how much they fought, she somehow knew when he needed comfort and would never fight when such a moment came, just like tonight.

She slowly made them lay down on bed, Jack already asleep in his room. She laid down and instead of snuggling into Aaron's body, she pulled him close so he could be in her arms instead. He laid his head on her chest, listening to her heartbeats, as a beta she didn't have a distinct smell but her cherry perfume always made him feel like he was home. And as they laid there, tangled together, she slowly asked him what had happened.

He didn't want to say anything, mostly because he always avoided sharing the gory details with her, she didn't need to know what shitty situations he had to go through every day. But this time, it was too close, this time his agent was kidnapped and beaten and taken away from the pack. And so he decides to let it all out. Haley just quietly listens as he pours out his feelings, as he recounted everything he felt from the moment he realised Reid was kidnapped. He told her how scared he was to lose the agent that had unknowingly become his friend, someone he relied upon to break through any case, someone who made their team complete, someone who had become so much more than just Elle's replacement in such a short time.

Once Aaron was done purging his feelings, Haley simply asked about how Reid was doing now. She asked if she needed to visit him as the team would get back to work while he would be on forced vacation. And Aaron felt so grateful once again for her support. He told her he will check with Reid and tell her if it's needed, maybe having Jack around will help him a bit. He knew that Reid adored the few glimpses of Jack he could get whenever Haley visited the beauro.

He kissed her lips, trying to show her how much better she always made him feel. She was his everything, from the moment he laid eyes on her, she was the only one who regarded him with nothing but love, even in the moments she should hate him. Aaron never had a great childhood, the constant abuse has made him bitter, angry and then Haley came into his life. She was the reason he didn't turn out to be like his dad. She reminded him that he can be loved, he deserves kindness and although during the initial stages of their friendship he lashed out on her too many times to count, but slowly her kindness and her love won him over. She gave him a reason to look forward to the coming day, she made him feel loved and she taught him how to love her in turn. And now after all these years, she was still here, loving him despite his flaws and shortcomings. He couldn't help but to think if Reid had anyone by his side now, or was he alone. He hoped that he would have someone, he deserved it. He knew he still needed to analyse the flicker of something that he had felt back then when he held Reid in his arms, but right now all he wanted was to be vulnerable in the arms of the only person he had ever loved.

***†***

Taglist: @ssa-sarahsunshine @brillianthijinx @thaddeusly Please let me know if you'd like to be added/removed from this! ❤️❤️

I already had this chapter written and as I had taken a day off I thought of uploading it! Next chapters will take some time! ❤️❤️

#heid #hotchreid #hotch×reid #tw: a/b/o #tw: kidnapping #tw: mention of death #tw: mentions of violence #tw: drugs #tw: mention of abuse #ray's fics

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trashmenofmarvel · 4 years

Text

Branded - Chapter 20

Pairing: Demon!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky reveals some of the worst parts of his time with HYDRA. But when he starts to spiral, you're there to catch him.

(This is a fan AU of Falling’s Just Another Way to Fly by @araniaart . Please check out this incredible series for all of your demon Bucky needs.)

Chapter Warnings: References to past sexual abuse/rape, internalized victim-blaming, angst resolved with cuddles

Word Count: 2k

AO3

You’d thought Bucky would be difficult when it came to the bed-sharing situation.

You were wrong. He was impossible.

The rest of the day had gone surprisingly well. Your family had behaved themselves, except for when Uncle Walter had asked how Bucky’s arm had been “burned.” The cover story was he was a war veteran, which was entirely true, just for a different war. He’d been too close to a firebomb and he’d suffered third degree burns.

Bucky seemed to have found that part of the story funny when he’d told it to you. Something about demons and fire and how he actually couldn’t be burned. You hadn’t found it funny at all.

Your mother had shot Uncle Walter a glare at the question, but Bucky had simply smiled and recounted the false tale. He was the perfect gentleman and doting boyfriend; not even your protective family could find fault with him.

And you? Every time he slung his arm around your waist and kissed the top of your head, you died a little more inside.

Perhaps with how smooth everything had been going, you should have expected it to hit a wall that night.

You’d gotten into bed, scooting over to make room for Bucky, but he hadn’t joined you. He wouldn’t even look you in the eye, his shoulders stiff and his posture rigid.

“I’ll take the couch downstairs,” he said when you looked up at him expectantly.

It was not the response you’d been expecting, and your voice was a little too sharp.

“Downstairs? Why?”

Bucky met your eye then, the blue in his eyes going dark. You knew that look.

“Because it’ll be safer for the both of us.”

“Safer?” Your voice nearly cracked as you bolted upright. “What the hell does that mean?”

You thought you’d been through this. You really had. You trusted him, knew he would never hurt you, so why was he still—

Bucky’s gaze seemed to waver, but his voice was steady. Almost flat. “I would be more comfortable sleeping downstairs.”

His response effectively killed your anger. A sharp ache in your chest took its place, leaving you somewhat bewildered.

“Okay,” was all you said. You wouldn’t force Bucky to do anything he didn’t want to, even if… even if it meant you’d spend the night alone.

Bucky paused, hovering as if there was something he wanted to say, but he turned and left without a word.

For the first time, you felt genuinely afraid it wasn’t going to get any better than this. That Bucky would only touch you, be near you, when the bond forced him to.

You didn’t sleep that night, or if you did, it was only for an hour or two. You could barely function the next day, but you warded off the questions from your mother and ignored the looks from your aunt and uncle. You could only imagine what they all thought about Bucky sleeping downstairs.

At around two in the afternoon, when you’d started to doze off while watching TV with your family, you excused yourself and went back upstairs to bed. You could barely keep up the act of being Bucky’s girlfriend, not with so little sleep and the ache in your chest growing with every look Bucky gave you. Every faked touch and every false bit of affection was wearing you down, slowly but inevitably.

You were starting to hate it. You wanted it to be real so badly that it left a bitter taste in your mouth. The last thing you wanted was to be resentful towards Bucky, but your patience was a threadbare strand held over a burning candle.

When you crawled into the guest bed and closed your eyes, the faint afternoon sun caused your old pink curtains to fill the room with a rosy light. When you woke up, the room was dark and you were no longer alone.

You sucked in a sharp breath before recognizing Bucky’s familiar silhouette as your eyes adjusted to the dim light.

He said nothing, but you refused to speak first, simply waited curled up on your side on top of the covers. When he did finally say something, his voice was low and very quiet.

“Do you know how scared I am?”

You frowned and leaned up on one elbow, trying and failing to see the expression on his face.

“Scared of what?” It felt like one of those moments where if you spoke too loudly, something dark and ominous would hear you, so you spoke as quietly as he did.

“That I’m going to hurt you.” You could hear something rustling, skin on cloth. His tail was on the covers next to you. He had dropped his guise for this. “And you’ll finally see me for what I am.”

You released a heavy breath.

“Bucky…”

“No. Listen to me.”

The bed creaked as he shifted towards you, though he still sat on the edge of the bed, too far for comfort. You wanted to reach out and touch him but refrained.

“I’ve lived a very long life,” he said. “Most of it doing terrible things. It doesn’t really matter that I didn’t have a choice, I still live with those memories and nothing can change that.”

You closed your mouth. This felt different than the other times he’d tried to push you away. This felt like he was trying to do the opposite.

“I’ve taken… so many lives. To the extent that I’ve lost count of the bodies. When HYDRA tried to erase my memories, they told me I was a literal demon. That I possessed the body of a dead soldier and was summoned to serve them. I was their weapon of terror. A ghost their rivals whispered about in fear. Even those within HYDRA didn’t know if I truly existed, and the possibility kept them all in line.”

Bucky released a slow, trembling breath. You remained frozen, unable to do anything but listen as his words grew heavier.

“But even before they broke me, when I was still myself, the demon part of me did… evil things. HYDRA captured an Allied soldier. He was my age, scared, just wanted to go home. He could have been me or… or someone I knew.”

He paused, and in the silence of the room you could hear the click of him dry-swallowing.

“It didn’t matter, because HYDRA had starved me as punishment and threw us in a cell together.”

You knew what he was going to say, and the dread filled you like watching a train heading for a broken track.

“I raped him.”

You could feel the tremble through the bed as Bucky shuttered.

“I couldn’t stop it. I was starving, and even with the pheromones making his body respond, I knew he was afraid. I did it anyway. And then they ordered me to kill him.”

Bucky’s voice had gone flat, emotionless, and that was somehow worse than the shaking.

“That wasn’t the only time. After… after HYDRA killed me, sent me to that demon realm, and then I came back through the portal… I was starving. I lost control, again. And that’s when the wizards found me.”

Your eyes had adjusted enough to the dark for you to see Bucky’s bowed head, the curtain of his hair shielding his face.

“You know the rest.”

Carefully, you reached your hand across the bed and gently touched his human arm. Even through the thick fabric of his jacket you could feel the tremble under your fingers.

“I’m… not going to pretend I know what you’ve experienced, because I don’t know,” you said. “I just want to say I’m sorry it happened to you. I’m sorry you had to suffer. And I’m sorry that because of what was done to you, you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy.”

Bucky said nothing, but from the way his shoulders tensed, he didn’t have to. You’d guessed correctly what all his gruff, prickly behavior meant. How he seemed to care one moment and be aloof the next. Hot and cold. It didn’t have anything to do with you, not really. It was a defense mechanism, and Bucky wasn’t as slick as he thought he was. He couldn’t fool you, not when you were well-practiced in the art of pushing away people yourself.

“I’m telling you right now, and you’re just going to have to trust me on this, Bucky. I’m not going anywhere.” You could practically feel him about to argue, so you quickly said, “And not because of the bond, but because I want to be here. I think I have a decent understanding of how dangerous demons are, and I know you would never hurt me on purpose. That’s all we can really ask of anyone, isn’t it?”

When your speech was met with silence, your confidence deflated like a balloon.

“So… yeah. You’re stuck with me. Sorry.”

More of the same silence. You didn’t have any idea if you’d managed to get through to him. You were beginning to wonder if you ever had. Maybe words weren’t enough, and you needed to try a different tact. Anything was better than the heavy, oppressive quiet.

You scooted backwards so you were almost against the wall, tugging on his jacket as you did so.

“Come here,” you said, trying to keep your tone light. “Come lay down.”

You really hadn’t expected him to listen, so when the mattress dipped next to you and warmth radiated across the small space between you, you almost lost your train of thought entirely. Forcing your attention back on what Bucky needed, because this was about him and not you, you swallowed thickly and met his gaze in the dark.

“Is it okay if I touch you?”

He expelled a shaky breath, heavy as if he’d been holding onto it for a long time.

“Yeah. Course. You… you can always touch me—“

Bucky barely got the words out before you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him against your chest with a ferocity that surprised even you.

He was larger than you, but you held onto him as if he was precious and fragile. Something you needed to protect from all the bad shit in his past. You rested your chin on top of his head, right on his hair between his horns. It was a little awkward with you both on your sides, but you managed to snake your other arm around the back of his neck. Under your palms and through his jacket, you could feel the hard shell of his compacted wings.

He was warmer than you, and his piney, earthy scent filled you scenes. Something that had been coiled inside you loosened and reached out to him. You wondered if it was the bond, but really, you thought it was just plain ol’ human need.

It took Bucky a longer time to relax than it had for you, but not as long as you would have thought. The tension in his muscles gradually loosened, and his arms which had remained tight at his side cautiously looped around your waist. His nose was pressed against your neck and the puffs of air from his breathing sent goosebumps across your skin.

You pressed even closer, needing more contact, and loosely tangled your legs with his. You faintly smiled against his hair as something hooked under your knee and wrapped around your leg. Bucky might be reluctant to show physical affection, but his tail never was.

The stimulation, feeling so much of Bucky at once in a clear-headed, non-feeding situation… the knowledge that he was letting you hold him like this, after sharing with you what must have been his most painful memories…

A hard lump formed in your throat and your eyes burned. To keep yourself distracted—you were not going to cry—you ran your fingers through Bucky’s hair and focused on the surprisingly soft strands. With his chest pressed so close to yours, you could feel him take each breath, and it was easy to match your breathing to his. Easy and natural, as if this was where you were supposed to be all along.

You continued to pet his hair until your movements became sluggish and your eyelids drifted close. But you didn’t let go of him, even as sleep tugged at you and made your limbs heavy. You didn’t want to miss a moment of this, but you felt comfortable and safe, and it was hard not to relax completely into it.

Bucky’s words, when they finally came, were quiet. So quiet you wondered if they were just a part of your dreams.

“Thank you.”

Next Chapter

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #demon!bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #demon!bucky x reader #branded #my fanfiction #my writing

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coffee-obsessed-writer · 4 years

Text

When You Least Expect It, Part Sixteen

Jensen Ackles x Musician!Reader

Masterlist - Contains Chapter Links & Wardrobe Collages

A/N: This is a much shorter chapter than the rest, but I hope you enjoy it!

Spotify Playlist

Series Summary: After a hard breakup, Jensen decides to throw himself into organizing a Music Festival in Austin that is meant to raise money for a few of his most cherished charities and organizations. As he throws himself into planning it, he stumbles upon a spirited, undiscovered performer, who he convinces to come aboard to help plan and coordinate the event with him.

What transpires after that takes both Jensen and his new friend, by surprise. But when their respective pasts come back just before the event kicks off in Austin, they will both have to decide if the unexpected feelings are worth perusing, or if they should just walk away and go on with their lives.

Series Warnings: Language, Break-Ups, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Mild Violence, Talk of Domestic Abuse

Chapter Summary: With the festival rapidly approaching, everyone is both on edge and excited for what lies ahead.

Chaper Warnings: None

WC: 6.5K

Series Beta’d by @closetspngirl

Dee

The private investigator Dee hired last Spring had been worth every penny. The information he delivered on Jensen’s new girlfriend gave her more than she could have hoped for. Her plan to contact the little twit’s ex-boyfriend seemed like a good idea at first; but as the weeks turned into months, even Dee could see Nathan’s instability grow. Once word of the incident at Jensen’s brewery reached her, she knew that maybe things had gone too far. All she wanted to do was try and cause some drama, hoping Jensen would shy away from the beach brat he was suddenly so obsessed with and come back to her. But as she sat, nipping at her cuticles while waiting in her rented Beamer for Nathan to show, she realized what a futile effort it had been.

The plan completely backfired, only pushing the two of them closer. Gen had let it slip that Y/N was now living in Vancouver with Jensen, completely bringing Dee’s hopes of a reconciliation crumbling to the ground. Even she had never been asked to move to Vancouver with him while they were together, and was instantly crushed when she heard the news. There was no chance of Jensen coming back to her; Dee knew that now it was a matter of protecting herself. Only God knew exactly what Nathan was capable of, but with the glimpses Dee had caught of him, she seriously began to fear how this would backlash onto her, if her part in everything had come out.

Everything she had done up until that point hadn’t been illegal, really. All she did was make a few phone calls and provoke a stranger into reacting. Yet somehow she knew that if Nathan was caught, and started talking, her name would be spoken and she’d have some things to answer for. Knowing the light it would paint her in, knowing how it could affect her career, Dee needed to be sure that Nathan would keep her out of it. After all, HE was the one who took things too far.

Dee turned her delicate wrist and checked the time on her watch; already a quarter past ten in the morning. Nathan had promised to meet her early that day outside of a small diner located in the outskirts of Austin. It was two days before the festival was to kick off, and she just needed a few reassurances before the big day. She still hated Y/N and loved Jensen, but deep down she finally conceded that SHE wasn’t the one he loved; Y/N was.

Another twenty minutes passed with no sign of Nathan. When she checked her watch again and saw it was nearly eleven, she closed her eyes and felt her stomach bottom out. Dee pushed the start button on her rental and hung her head, long strands of red hair obscuring her face and the handful of regretful tears that ran through her makeup. A soft, yet shaky laugh turned into shaking sobs as the air conditioning began to blow her hair back lightly. She drew in a deep breath and brought her vision back up towards the windshield. Off to the right of the old titanium plated diner, stood a tall, lanky man in a grey hoodie and ripped jeans. She felt his eyes on her and a mild bout of nerves raced through her veins. The man’s hood was drawn tightly around his head, leaving his face in a swirl of shadows. Regardless, she could feel his eyes on her and knew that it was Nathan.

They had only met in person once before earlier that Spring, and it was a brief encounter at best. Dee had been hesitant to meet face to face, but Nathan insisted. He said he was worried for Y/N, and the kind of people she’d gotten involved with. He was pushy and borderline manic, so Dee agreed to meet at the same diner she was now parked in front of. They drank coffee and Dee listened as Nathan recounted his surprise visit with Y/N. The way he explained it, she had turned her back on him, and then provoked Jensen into attacking him. His expression was concerned and fretful, but Dee knew it had all been an act. She was an actress, after all, and she could spot his lies a hundred miles away. Yet, it didn’t stop her from encouraging him to fight back, and fight for his girl.

The break-in at the condo hadn’t been all her idea, though as she sat in nervous self-reflection, she wouldn’t be able to deny planting the seed of thought in Nathan’s head. But, her little birdies told her that the amount of destruction that had been left was extensive, and far more than she felt comfortable with.

She killed the engine of the car, again, and slowly opened the driver’s side door. The minute it cracked open, Nathan began to approach her. When he was closer, she could see his features were drawn and his complexion turned ashy. The dark circles under his eyes and the pale tone of his lips caused her brow to furrow.

“Jesus, Nathan. What the hell happened to you?”

Nathan shrugged. “Life.”

“Well, maybe you should rethink the life you’re living if it’s leaving you looking like that.” Dee gave him a good once over, and noticed his hands were shaking. “Are you on drugs?”

He let out a deep, haunting laugh. “What the fuck you know about the drug life, Princess?”

“N-Nothing really, but I’ve been around enough people that do them to know what a junkie looks like.”

“You don’t know shit about shit. What the hell do you want, hm? You nagged me to get here so you could just put me down like everyone else?” His words weren’t threatening, but the tone and body language he delivered them with, was.

“No, I just… shit, man… this all got out of hand. I just wanted to check in, make sure you were okay,” she lied, doing her best to keep her face from betraying her. “I’m concerned.”

“Are you now?” Nathan snorted, and pushed the hood off his head, revealing his shaggy, dirty hair that was plastered to his head thanks to the heat of the Austin summer. “What made you so concerned? I did what you asked. I tried to break them up. But…” he trailed off, his eyes looking in Dee’s direction, but it was clear that he wasn’t actually seeing her.

“I was wrong, okay? Clearly those two idiots are happy together. So, I wanted to tell you that you could stop trying to break them up.”

Nathan shook his head slowly, and in a way that caused a bolt of anxiety to run down Dee’s spine. “Naw, can’t do that.”

“Can’t--can’t do what?”

“Stop trying to break them up…. Y/N is all I got left in this world.”

“But, what if she doesn’t want you? Then what? Do you really want her if she doesn’t want you? You deserve someone who loves you for who and what you are. Don’t get hung up on some past relationship because you think it's what you deserve. Trust me, Nathan, I speak from experience.”

“I give two shits about your experience. Y/N is my girl,” he snarled at her, “...always has been. So why don’t you bug the fuck off and leave me alone.”

“I will, I promise. But first I just need to make sure…” Dee let her words hang in the air, hoping he would get their meaning without her having to actually say it. From his expression, she knew that he got her point, but the concerning grin that unfurled on his face told her he wasn’t going to cut her an inch of slack. “...are you… I mean, can you, leave my name out of it?”

“It?” he asked, goading her into having to say the words.

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I?”

“Jesus.. Fine. Please leave my name out of any involvement with whatever scheme you come up with next? Yes, I wanted them broken up, but the things you’ve done… I can’t be a part of it.”

“Too late, Princess. You’re part of it. And if I go down for any of this bullshit, so do you.”

Jensen

In the few weeks after their vacation at the shore, Jensen and Y/N were busier than ever. Each day brought some sort of hurdle that one or both of them needed to clear. As days dwindled down towards the start of the festival, they were more determined than ever to make it the best weekend Austin had ever seen. A few last minute additions to the various stage line ups caused some headaches, but they made it work and in the end. Jensen was still in awe watching Y/N handle the musicians, the vendors, the sponsors, the various charity groups involved, and all while she was trying to get her own music set list together. Not to mention practicing via video conference with Robbie and the rest of Louden Swain.

For most of his life, Jensen always wondered if a woman like her existed. Y/N was by no means perfect; she could be moody, and a bit of a slob which sometimes drove him crazy. Then, he would see her sitting on the couch, legs crossed in some ungodly way, with her head buried in her computer or a guitar on her lap, and any of her imperfections just melted away. Y/N did little else other than eat, sleep and breathe the festival. There were times in those weeks where despite the hectic schedule of planning and also filming the show, he half wished it was over already. Jensen wanted to start his life with Y/N, be with her without the current pressure that sat on both their shoulders. He and Jared had discussed on numerous occasions that maybe it was time for Supernatural to come to an end, giving them the opportunity to explore life outside of their precious Impala. But it wasn’t until those weeks between Seaside and the festival, that he was seriously considering it.

The idea of not living and working in Vancouver with his best friend normally caused a mild panic to settle into his gut. However, the last time he and Jared had discussed it, they both felt that the end was in sight. Jensen never brought it up to Y/N, never felt like the right time. With all their respective traveling and work loads, trying to plan a future needed to be put on the back burner. As much as it killed him to do so, he knew it was best for both their sakes. He decided once the festival was over he’d bring it up to her. Then, they could make a plan. If there was one thing Jensen knew for absolutely certainty, it was that he didn’t see any type of future without her in it.

They were knee deep in filming the seventh episode of the season, so if a decision was to be made about the future of the show, it had to be soon. Production was shutting down for five days solely so the entire cast and crew could fly down for the festival. Every single one of them had agreed to volunteer, or help out somehow, and it warmed his heart more than he could put into words. These people had become his extended family, a support system when he felt he had reached rock bottom, and some of the best damn human beings he’d ever met.

Filming had wrapped for the extended weekend, and Jensen was feeling that last scene in every muscle and bone. Fight scenes were always fun to block out, but once it got to actually throwing the stuntmen around, and executing the moves on camera it tended to wear him out. As Jensen plodded back to his trailer, both relieved and exhausted, he noticed a light was on inside, and saw the shadow of his best friend moving about. A little smirk twitched on his face as he climbed the metal steps to the trailer and quietly pushed open the door.

Jared was singing under his breath as Jensen walked in unnoticed. Jensen leaned against the door watching him, trying not to laugh as Jared’s head bobbed to the song stuck in his head. It was when Jared started making guitar riff noises that Jensen’s resolve broke, and he started clapping loudly, making his best friend nearly jump out of his skin.

“Bravo my man!” Jensen teased and walked slowly through the large trailer. “Hey, how come we didn’t find you a slot in the festival? With pipes like that--”

“Shut up,” Jared sighed and sat down on the leather couch, still clutching his chest from Jensen’s sudden intrusion. “Damn near gave me a heart attack.”

“Yeah, well, now you know what your singing does to me.”

“I’m sorry, DEAN, I thought we were done filming for today.” Jared rolled his eyes, but was unable to hide his own smile at their banter. “Seriously though, I thought we were done. Took you long enough to get back here.”

“Had to re-block one of the fight scenes. I was completely off my game, man. I don’t know if it’s exhaustion or what, but I could feel myself half-assing it.”

“Dude, do you not realize the year you’ve had? There are times I am amazed you’re still standing.”

Jensen shrugged it off and grabbed two cold beers from the mini-fridge, before handing one to Jared and sitting on the recliner across from him.

“Not like we haven’t been here before,” Jensen replied, but he knew what Jared really meant. Ignoring the look he could feel coming from the other side of the room, he leaned forward in the chair and finally met Jared’s eyes. “Speaking of… I think me, you and Misha really need to sit down and talk.”

Jared snorted a laugh and nodded. “Yeah, I agree. It’s why I’m here, actually.”

After so many years together, the two friends could talk without words. Due to previous discussions and the telepathy that had developed through more than a decade of friendship, neither had to say what was on their mind.

Jared raised his beer and Jensen followed suit. They clincked the bottles together in cheers and each took a long draw of the dark brew.

“To one final season of Supernatural,” Jensen said with Jared nodding in agreement.

“To one more kick ass ride,” Jared smiled and took another pull from the bottle.

They sat in silence for a moment, feeling the weight of the decision slowly rolling off their shoulders. The air in the trailer felt lighter somehow, as if just saying the words out loud relieved some of the tension it had contained.

“Misha on board?” Jensen asked and looked up to see his friend nodding.

“He is. He’s broken up about it as much as we are, but he knows its time.”

Jensen just nodded and sat back in his chair. “Think we got one more year in us?”

“Damn straight we do. Hell, I know we have another FIVE years in us. Truth is, I think we are just both ready for the next thing… whatever that looks like.”

Again, Jensen nodded in agreement but sat quietly, contemplating what that thing was. “Do you know what you want to do?”

Jared shook his head. “Not really. A few offers have come in for movies, a new show or two, but nothing that really jumps up at me. I just know I want to be home more, help Gen with the kids. Actually be there and see them grow up.” He paused and looked at Jensen, who seemed a million miles away despite sitting two feet in front of him. “Jay? What about you? Do you know what comes next?”

A hint of a smile pulled at the corner of Jensen’s mouth. “I sure do, my brother. I sure as hell do. I want what you have with Gen. Wife, kids, house… the whole nine. When this festival is over, I’m going to ask Y/N to marry me. Whatever happens after that, doesn’t matter. I just know that my life isn’t complete, unless she’s in it with me.”

Jared nodded in agreement, and despite the heaviness of the decision they had come to, he could see the love and excitement in his best friend’s face. He raised his beer again, “That, is the best damn thing I’ve heard you say in forever. I admit I was skeptical at first, but Y/N brings out something in you I’ve never seen before.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Pure, unadulterated, happiness.”

Jensen leaned back in his chair, and for the first time in his life, he knew that no matter what came next, he would be okay because Jared was right. Y/N made him happier and more alive than anything else ever had. The life he had always wanted, with the woman he always dreamed of was right in front of him for the taking.

Y/N

Forty-eight hours from the start of the festival, and Y/N’s nerves were showing signs of strain from the pressure she had put on herself. She wanted everything about the weekend to be perfect; from the many venues, band line ups, vendors and volunteers. She oversaw everything, right down to the signs that she had the local schools help make that marked each section of the festival.

The idea had hit her months ago, to divide up the Austin Hometown & Brew Fest into little representations of each major city that was contributing food, drinks and music. Each school district in Austin was responsible for creating colorful signs for each “town”, and as she stood looked through the pictures of each one, her tired heart soared with pride and a surge of adrenaline she desperately needed. When she had been offered the job by Jensen, Y/N never believed for a second she would have the knowledge or drive to pull it off. Yet somehow, here she was--in the home stretch and still running.

Y/N stared at her phone flipping through the images Bri had sent her, as she walked barefoot through the Vancouver apartment waiting for Jensen to get back from filming so they could leave for the airport. They had a late flight to Austin, which didn’t give them much time, but they could make it work. Somehow, they always found a way. With Robbie, Bri and Mama already in Austin, Y/N knew that everything would get done that needed to, because they were just as invested in this as she and Jensen were and she couldn’t ask for much more than that. Y/N had an amazing crew behind her, a boyfriend she loved more than life, and a future with endless possibilities.

Just as she felt her stomach rubble, and made her way into the kitchen, the phone in her hand began to buzz. Bri’s name popped up, causing Y/N to smile and forget the hunger pains that nagged her.

“Hey Bri,” she answered with tired enthusiasm, “everything okay down there?”

“Stop being a worry wort, everything is FINE! I’m calling to check on you. How’s the nerves? Holding steady?”

“Eh, let’s just say I am holding it together. Too much to think about for me to start feeling the heat now.”

“Mhm, okay. Now, you want to try to say that in a way that will make me believe it?”

“Hush, I’m fine. Tired, but fine.”

“If you say so. Honey, I promise you, everything is on track here. Robbie has the venues locked down. The stages are finishing being built, all the lights and equipment have been tested. Mama has the two theaters ready to rock n roll. Hell, even Gen is getting in on things. Do you know she took the kids down to the elementary school and helped them finish up the last few banners. I am telling you, there is nothing to worry about.”

Y/N felt a surge of relief, and let it wash over her taking with it the stress of last minute details. Yet, there was a nagging feeling left she didn’t like. One that settled in the pit of her stomach like a led weight.

“Bri…” Y/N paused, unsure of how to phrase what she wanted to ask. “...has there been any signs… or even a whiff of--”

“Nathan? No. There hasn’t.”

Y/N sighed audibly and felt her knees weaken at the sound of his name. She hated that even after the months that had passed since the breakin and incident in the brewery parking lot, the sound of his name could bring her such anxiety.

“You sure?”

“I swear. The police still have an APB on him, all the volunteers and security guards have seen his picture and know what to look for should he be stupid enough to try and get into any restricted areas.”

“Okay.” But Y/N wasn’t totally convinced. She felt it could be her own paranoia and years of history with Nathan, but she needed to focus on the tasks ahead, and not look back on a past that would continue to haunt her, if she let it.

“Listen, it’s late. Tomorrow morning, I’ll meet you at Jensen’s place here in town, and we will spend the entire day going over every last minute detail. You can bite your nails and stress the day away, but for now, go grab some food, take a nap, blast some music… whatever is going to make you chill out. Robbie and I got this. Mama, too. That lady is a force of nature and loves you somethin’ fierce. So if there is any one thing out of place, I guaran-damn-tee, Mama June will handle it.”

Y/N laughed, and immediately conjured an image of Mama bossing Robbie around, while Bri sat back chuckling. “You’re right. Between her, you and Robbie, I really have nothing to worry about.”

“Good girl. Now, how long before your flight leaves?”

“We have to be at the airport by ten, and I think it leaves at twelve thirty.”

“Okay, I’ll have a car there waiting to pick you guys up. Now, I know you two horn dogs can’t keep your hands off each other, but may I suggest some SLEEP when you get to Austin. Big days ahead, and we need you both well rested and ready to kick this in the ass!”

“You know Briana, there are days I truly, from the bottom of my heart, cannot stand you.”

“What can I say, it's a gift. I’ll see you in the morning,” she laughed and made three loud kissing noises.

“Love you too, Bri,” Y/N laughed and shook her head, “See you tomorrow.”

As Y/N ended the call, her stomach reminded her of her promise of cold pizza from the fridge. She placed her cell phone on the counter and began to rummage through the two left over pizza boxes. She grabbed two plain slices, and just as she took a huge bite, her phone began to ring again. Assuming it was Bri calling back, she answered without looking at the caller ID.

“I swear, I am going to eat and take a nap!” she mumbled in protest as an answer, with a mouth full of cold pizza, but no response came. Y/N chewed and swallowed as quickly as she could, thinking that her jumbled greeting may have thrown Bri off. “Sorry, had a mouth full of food. Miss me already?” she teased.

Again, no answer came, and that weight in her stomach twisted up like a tornado and clogged her throat.

“Hel--Hello? Bri?” She moved the phone from her face and looked at the screen. Bri’s name wasn’t there, nor was Robbie’s. Instead it just said, Private Caller. “Who is this?”

Five, maybe ten seconds passed, but for Y/N, it felt like an eternity. She could hear someone breathing on the other end, and in her gut, she was convinced it was Nathan.

When the person finally spoke, it was not the voice she suspected to hear. Not a man’s voice, but a digitally altered one. “Just a warning… cancel the festival, or there could be consequences.”

Y/N was speechless. She stood in Jensen’s kitchen, frozen in place with the phone glued to her hand. Slowly she brought the screen away from her face again, staring at the Private Caller and their ominous warning. She wanted to yell into the phone, curse off anyone who would try and scare her away from everything she’d worked so hard for. But her nerves had been pushed to the edge, and no words were coming from her lips.

The caller hung up before she could find the strength to reply. Her hunger faded instantly, taken over by a swell of bile rising in her gut. Her good feelings from just moments ago were gone. As she felt herself on the verge of puking, she dropped her phone on the counter, and ran for the bathroom so her empty stomach could purge itself. Once she had gotten up whatever had been left in her gut, she sat back on the cool tile, and rested her head against the wall. Y/N had no strength or will to move; the stranger’s words “...there could be consequences…” continued to repeat over and over in her head.

Y/N never did get up to get back to the kitchen, and when Jensen returned home a short time later, that’s where he found her; half asleep with a tear streaked face sitting in the corner of the bathroom. He didn’t ask her any questions, but instead sat beside her and gathered her into his arms, leaving a soft kiss on the top of her head.

“Whatever it is baby, I promise you, we’ll get through it,” he cooed in comfort as she felt herself melt into his side. Assuming it was stress and anxiety over the festival, he held her close there on the bathroom floor until it was time to leave for the airport.

That’s when she knew for complete certainty, she wasn’t going to tell him about the call. She would NOT let anyone interfere with all they had worked towards; certainly not some piece of shit like Nathan, or a petty schemer like Dee. Y/N would never let either of them take anything from her, again.

Nathan

He watched as the snotty little redhead and her fancy ass Beamer pulled out of the diner parking lot. Nathan’s face remained stone-like as Dee’s gaze didn’t leave his until she had turned left and sped out of view. Nothing she had said to him gave him a second of pause; no reconsidering, no backing down. Nathan had reached the “couldn’t care less” portion of his actions months ago, and now all he could think about was how to enact the best possible revenge, on all of them.

Getting lost in his thoughts, he stood motionless in the parking lot, absently watching the traffic pass him by. Austin had a ton of traffic, and people, making it easy for him to blend into his surroundings and stay unnoticed. He knew the cops were looking for him, so he did his best to stay off the radar. It wasn’t until an Austin City cop car slowly passed the diner, that his feet finally decided to move. He still had too much to do before he could put his last plan into place.

Nathan pulled his hood back up, then shoved his hands deep into his jean pockets as he casually strolled down the busy Austin streets. He cut through a few alleyways, and popped out a few blocks away. Though he looked like a citizen going for a casual stroll, he knew just where he was going. It had taken a while to get the cash he needed, but snatching a few purses from some old ladies, and that one grab ‘n go hold up at the gas station finally gave him what he needed. His fingers felt around in his pockets for the wad of cash that was now bundled there, giving him an odd sense of security.

None of his plans had worked out since landing back in Jersey last winter. He had tried being friendly and getting back into Y/N’s life the right way. He gave her space and time to realize her own mistakes, as well as hopefully accept and forgive his own. Nathan thought for sure that would bring them together, but instead, she just ran back to this new guy trying to forget all they had meant to each other since they were kids. Just thinking of it caused his heart to pound, and his fists to clench around the silky bundle of bills stashed in his pocket. That money was the key; it would get him what he needed to make one final convincing argument on his own behalf. If she didn’t see how they were meant to be after that, then he would have to go with Plan B.

Hours later, after he purchased the items he needed, he began to wander the streets, trying to clear his head some. As Nathan passed by a hulking skyscraper, he caught his reflection in the mirrored panels of the structure. He saw what a dirty mess he was and decided to head back to the abandoned warehouse outside of the city where most of Austin’s homeless settled in for the night. It was a risk since the cops liked to come in randomly and bust up the encampment, but one he was willing to take. There he could clean up some, find a change of clothes and try to look the part he needed to play for the next few days in order to win back Y/N, once and for all.

Nathan successfully bartered for a clean pair of jeans, an almost new shirt and one use of the make-shift shower. Once he was clean and newly clothed, he found a quiet corner where someone abandoned a sleeping bag, pillow and even a few packets of Ramen noodles. Being an expert at living on the street, Nathan found a way to make the food, then hunkered down onto the sleeping bag. As the soup cooled, he transferred the items from his old jeans to his new ones and then tossed them aside. He wouldn’t need them anymore, because after he talked to Y/N, they would be together, and she could buy him a whole new wardrobe. After all, she was working with the bigwigs now and he was certain she could afford it.

Picking at the hot noodles, Nathan let himself reminisce on the days when he and Y/N were happy and carefree. Days on the beach, nights on the boardwalk, him and her hand-in-hand. Countless days spent out on her dad’s boat with her and her brother Dave, and just as many nights drinking under the boards, dreaming of what life was like far away from Seaside. Y/N dreamt of being a rock star or some dumb shit, but Nathan knew she wouldn’t have the guts to really leave their hometown. She was a born and bred local, and no real locals ever got too far away. When she actually left and went on to make a new life for herself, he felt betrayed. He felt abandoned and hurt that he wasn’t enough to keep her put. Now, as he sat on the rumpled sleeping back with a cup of steaming, tasteless noodles in hand, he let his free hand slip into the pocket of his jeans again. This time it wasn’t the bulk of cash giving him comfort, but the touch of the cool metal that lived in his pocket.

“One way or another,” he mumbled, tossing the soup aside with disgust, “I will have my girl and my life back.”

Austin, Day Before Festival Kicks Off...

Thirty-six hours from the start of the festival, Jensen, Y/N, Briana, Robbie, Jared, Gen, Mama and about two hundred volunteers stuffed themselves into the theater where the Burlesque troop would be performing the following evening. The seven of them stood on the stage watching as swarms of people claimed a seat, all talking excitedly about the events that were to follow. Most of them were familiar faces to Jensen and Jared, having worked on the show with them for so long, but the ones they didn’t know, didn’t give them a second of pause or concern. They were all here to lend their time and services for free in an effort to do their part for the city. Every single person that walked through the doors of that theater had been background checked, and vetted through a private sponsor to ensure the safety of the festival goers, the bands, and especially those behind the scenes putting it all together.

That was one thing Jensen had insisted on when the idea of community volunteers had first come up. It was well before he and Y/N had fallen in love and had run-ins with Nathan and Dee. He needed to be sure that everyone involved would be safe, and in turn the weekend could be a huge success. Two separate private security firms had been hired, with special attention focused on keeping Nathan out. Jensen didn’t think Dee would have the nerve to show her face, but he made sure that each member of the security team had Nathan’s photo and full description.

Getting lost in his own thoughts as the stream of volunteers finally closed the vestibule doors, he barely noticed Robbie setting up a microphone and begin addressing the crowd. It wasn’t until Y/N casually made her way to his side and brushed against his shoulder, was he able to pull away from his own mind and come back to the present.

“You okay there, Hollywood?” she whispered, casually glancing at him from the corner of her eye. “Big crowd here. You got stage fright all of a sudden or something?”

“Huh?” he asked, then quickly shook his head, “No, I’m fine. Just… thinking.”

“About?”

“All of this,” he said and snorted a laugh. “I mean, look at what you put together… all of these people are here because they believe in what you created--”

“What WE created. Jay,” Y/N grabbed Jensen’s hand, and despite two hundred pairs of eyes watching them, turned him towards her and kissed his lips. “I didn’t do this, you didn’t do this. Not Robbie, Bri, Mama… But ALL of us together.”

Before Jensen could respond, Robbie turned his attention towards them, holding out the microphone. When neither of them knew why, he raised his eyebrows then covered the top of the mic with his hand.

“You wanna jump in on this pep talk, kids?”

Jensen cleared his throat and passed Robbie a sarcastic smile. “My pleasure.” He took the microphone in hand and before he could speak, the applause radiated towards him from the theater like a shock wave. He felt his heart surge at the entire crowd, much like it did every time he was on stage at a convention. The overwhelming love and gratitude was hard to miss when in this type of setting.

“Thank you guys, really. Y’all are far too kind. It's us who should be applauding you! Because no matter how hard we have collectively worked to put this whole thing together, without you guys lending your time and efforts, it just wouldn’t be possible.”

Another surge of applause from the captivated audience caused Jensen to lower the mic and just enjoy the moment.

“Seriously, from the bottom of all our hearts, we thank you for not only the love and support you’ve shown us from the get go, but for the love and dedication you are showing to the city of Austin. All the proceeds from ticket sales this weekend will be divided among various city organizations that work towards education enrichment programs, women’s shelters, soup kitchens, including a new music and arts program that will benefit children and teenagers from all across the city.”

Applause again, but this time even more deafening. The sea of faces before him were smiling ear to ear and cheering loudly. As Jensen moved his vision to the right in what felt like slow motion, he caught the wide grins of his closest friends who were sharing the stage with him, who were also clapping along with the crowd.

Jensen brought the mic up to say more, but he was at a loss for word. The energy and vibe in the theater that night left him speechless, and it took all his will to not let himself shed a tear. Y/N could see his emotions building under the surface, and gently took the mic from his hand. He smiled at her thankfully for it, and took a step back as she proceeded to prepare herself to address the crowd.

“We can’t thank you all enough for the support, and love you brought with you here not only for tonight, but for this entire weekend. Now, we don’t want to take up too much of your time, so I am going to pass the mic over to Ms. Briana Buckmaster who has a few quick things to go over with you. After that, Mama June and I will be at each end of the theater exits handing out your official volunteer shirts for the weekend. One last thing before we get to the nitty gritty, while you are out there working hard to make sure our guests have fun, don’t forget to stop and enjoy the festival yourselves! We have done our best to make sure that all volunteers get plenty of breaks to go enjoy the food and music, as well as give each of you a free admission voucher to pass along to a family member, friend, or just someone you know who would enjoy the event but can’t afford to buy their own ticket. We want this to be an all-inclusive event. So have fun, work hard, and let’s make this something not only the city of Austin, but every other town and city represented here, will never forget!”

For the last time that night, the volunteers cheered and applauded the words of love and encouragement bestowed on them. Y/N passed the microphone to Bri, who’s smile lit up her dimples nearly as bright as the lights of the theater. Briana pulled Y/N into a big hug and held her tightly. Right before she let go, Bri squeezed her and whispered in her ear, “You’ve come a long way from that scared, nervous woman I met New Year’s Eve. I am so fucking proud of you!”

With that, Bri released her from the embrace, reset herself and turned to address the volunteers. Y/N took a step back to stand beside Jensen, and immediately felt his hand snake into hers. They watched on as Bri continued to captivate the audience with her distinct and charming way of explaining the processes and procedures for the weekend. Just as Bri wrapped up her part of the speech, Jensen and Y/N took a moment to meet each other’s gaze. Y/N had all but forgotten the call from the day before, and found herself feeling more confident than ever that everything they had worked so hard for would unfold without a hitch.

Tag List:

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aimieshoward · 5 years

Text

We’re Stronger Together - Katherine Howard and Catherine of Aragon Friendship

Word count: 2892

Possible Triggers: Panic attacks, Religion(?), Scratches/Accidental self-harm (none of it is graphic but just be careful, if you’re easily triggered, please don’t read it... stay safe. :))

Hello, here’s a friendship fic of K Howard and Catherine of Aragon because I have been robbed of seeing them interact and they’re my favourites. (any constructive criticism is appreciated as this is my first Six fic) [all the other queens appear too]

She opened the door to find her standing there, crying. Young Katherine Howard, a girl of only 19, stood at her window, tears streaming down her face, silently crying. Catherine of Aragon stepped quietly into the room, closing the door lightly behind her. “Hey, Katherine,” she moved closer, her voice low as to not scare the girl, “lunch is ready, Jane asked me to come get you.” The teen did not respond verbally, she didn’t even show any indication of hearing the Spanish queen.

“Katherine?” Catherine hadn’t known the younger woman in her past life, and it hadn’t been long since they had been reincarnated in this one. In fact, today marked their 3rd week in the shared apartment. As a result, they hadn’t had much time to bond and Catherine was unaware of how to approach Katherine Howard. “Hey Kat, did you hear me? Lunch is ready.” Catherine of Aragon stood beside her, taking note of how still the girl had become.

Aragon was startled as the pink-haired queen’s hand suddenly shot up to her neck, scratching at it feverously. “Hey, Kat, Kat, don’t do that,” Aragon was growing worried and grabbed the girl’s wrist; using her full strength she managed to turn the girl towards her. Her heart broke at the sight; the tears streaming from clouded eyes, the raw scratches lining her throat. “Katherine, can you hear me? It’s Catherine,” the older woman desperately tried to break through to the teenager, holding both of her wrists tightly so she couldn’t further hurt herself.

Aragon wasn’t sure exactly what was happening, but she knew she needed to help the sobbing girl in front of her. Katherine tried desperately to pry her wrists from the other queen, however Aragon was too strong. “I can’t let you hurt yourself Kat,” she mumbled hurriedly to the girl who was now trembling in her grasp. Kat’s breathing was becoming increasingly laboured as her anxiety built and Aragon soon realised that she was having a full-blown panic attack. Annoyed at herself for not realising it sooner, Aragon tried her very hardest to calm the girl down.

“Katherine Howard,” she started, trying to catch the girl’s eye but still refusing to let go of her wrists, “you need to calm down.” Catherine mentally slapped herself at the statement, of course Katherine needed to calm down, but, how could she? The older queen lowered the both to the floor; she was worried that in her state Katherine may pass out and being closer to the floor if she did would definitely hurt less. She raked her brain, trying to remember any techniques to calm her nerves. “Hey Kitty,” she used the nickname Anne used for her cousin, hoping it would somehow break through to her, but it seemed that she was too far gone at this point to even notice, I need you to follow my breathing okay?”

Kitty’s eyes, although clouded over were moving rapidly, and, frankly, it was making Aragon extremely scared. She wanted nothing more than to help the trembling teen. She began to even out her breaths, making them nice and slow, hoping Kitty would latch onto them. Katherine’s breathing slowed for a second, and Aragon was hopeful, but then it immediately got even worse. Aragon was screaming at herself in her head, ‘what do I do?’

Knowing no other solution, she knew she needed someone else to take over. She hated yelling, especially across the house, but everyone else was downstairs eating so it needed to be done. “GUYS! HELP!” Aragon tried to keep her tone calm, for Howard’s sake, but you could hear just how terrified the Spanish queen was. She heard screeching of the chairs on the kitchen floor, a sign the queens had heard her, and sighed in relief. Turning her head back towards the pink-haired girl, she whispered encouragingly, “they’re coming Kitty, you’re going to be okay.”

The other four queens had been sat downstairs, enjoying the lunch Jane had prepared for them and talking about their past lives. This was their attempt at bonding, and, to be truthful, it had been going quite well. That was until they heard the desperate screams from upstairs. They all looked at each other before immediately standing up and running up to Katherine’s room. Anne got there first, throwing the door open. She spotted the queens immediately, her eyes locking with Aragon as she restrained her cousin. She was by her side in a second, crouching to their eye level. “What’s happening Catherine?” she asked desperately, her eyes flicking backwards and forwards between the pair.

“She’s having a panic attack; I don’t know how to calm her down,” Catherine mumbled nervously. Jane rushed over to them, Cleves hot on her heels. “Is she okay?” Jane asked, observing the trembling girl. Cleves looked at Katherine sympathetically, having been close to her in their previous lives, Anna had prayed that this life would be bliss for Kitty; clearly that was not the case. “Jane, take Boleyn and Aragon next door please,” she instructed firmly, knowing that Kitty needed people she knew with her and Anne was in too much of a state to be much help, “Catherine and I will help Kat.”

“I-I can’t leave her,” Aragon stuttered, looking into the cloudy eyes of the teen. “We’ll calm her down,” Parr lightly laid her hand on her Godmother’s shoulder, “I promise.” Finally, the pair were escorted into Jane’s room, Seymour sitting them both on the bed to calm down. Catherine of Aragon immediately began to pray for Katherine; she prayed that she would be okay, that whatever negative events that had triggered the attack would be dispelled, and that the younger wife’s recovery would be speedy.

“She doesn’t deserve this,” Anne muttered, angrily picking at the lint on Jane’s old blanket. Jane sat next to her, pulling the brunette into a side hug, “we know Anne. We’ll help her through it; together.” Anne pulled away after a moment, grabbing Seymour’s hand in her left and Aragon’s hand in her right, “together.” Never did Aragon see herself being civil with the Boleyn girl, yet here she was, hands clasped tightly together.

Parr entered the room, with Cleves trailing behind her, approximately 10 minutes later. Immediately the 3 women’s heads shot up, expectantly. “She’s fine now, its over,” Parr confirmed, sighing, “it took a lot out of her, she’s sleeping now.” The others breathed in relief that the girl was okay but were clearly still upset about the events that had unfolded. “Hey Jane, you can sew pretty well right?” Cleves asked, catching the attention of those in the room. Jane nodded in confirmation, resulting in Cleves reaching into her pocket.

She pulled out a piece of materia and a metal clasp. “Kitty’s choker,” Anne muttered, taking it from the German and cradling it against her own chest. “She snapped it her attack,” Cleves acknowledged, “we’re pretty sure she had some sort of flashback to her beheading.” Aragon sadly replied, “that’s why she was scratching her neck. She was trying to get her choker off?” Parr considered it for a second, “yeah, or she was trying to get rid of the pain.”

“Umm,” Catherine sounded hesitant as she turned to the queens who had clamed the youngest down. The thought of Catherine of Aragon being unsure of something was enough to turn heads and all the queens listened attentively. “Can you teach me how to calm her down? What can I do if it happens again?” Boleyn smiled softly at the Spaniard at her side, maybe she and this ‘new’ Aragon would be able to get on. “Firstly Aragon, of course we can try and help you but ultimately it’s up to Kitty and there’s no guarantee these methods will work,” Parr began, glad Aragon wanted to help. It didn’t go unnoticed how Jane had grabbed a notebook and pen for herself to take notes.

“Aragon, did Kat fall or did you lower her?” Cleves asked, cutting in before the other queen could respond, she added, “in fact tell us everything you did.” Aragon met the expectant eyes of the other four and began to recount her experience. “I lowered Kat, I didn’t want her to get hurt if she passed out,” she began, receiving an approving head nod from Parr, “I tried to get her to match my breathing and she did for a second, then she just got worse.” “You did the right thing with the breathing,” Cleves smiled lightly in praise, “Aragon, may I ask if you were restraining Kitty in anyway?” “I was, I was holding her wrists down because she kept trying to scratch her neck,” she explained logically, “I didn’t want her to hurt herself.”

She found a new-found appreciation lay in the eyes of Boleyn when they met hers, and honestly it made Aragon happy. “That may be why she wouldn’t respond then,” Cleves muttered, matter of factly. The three on the bed raised their brows in confusion, “huh?” Boleyn asked. Parr took a deep breath, knowing that it wasn’t her story to tell, but the queens needed to understand it if they were to help Kat.

“Kat went through a lot in her past life,” Cleves began, feeling deeply saddened as she remembered what the girl had gone through at such a young age, “she was raped, sexually assaulted, abused by basically everyone she was ever ‘romantically’ involved with.” “Including her music teacher, Henry Mannox, when she was just 13,” Parr added on, gaging the reactions of the group, “now she has issues with touch. Especially when she’s in a panicked state.”

Aragon teared up at the thought, she had ultimately made Katherine suffer more when she was just trying to help. “It’s not your fault Catherine,” Parr smiled lightly, trying to comfort the distressed woman, “she probably couldn’t have distinguished your touch from her past tormentors’.” Aragon sighed, her head falling to her chest, “what was I supposed to do though; she was hurting herself.” Parr hopped up to sit next to her, wrapping her arm round her godmother’s shoulder, “Kat relies a lot on latching to voices that she knows belong to people who won’t hurt her, talking to her is the best way to break it.”

Jane closed her notebook, and knelt in front of Aragon, squeezing the Spanish queen’s hands, “I’m proud of you, for trying to help Katherine, and for calling for us when you needed help.” Aragon smiled back; surprised when she felt Anne lean heavily into her side, she lifted her arm and hugged the girl closer. Anna joined soon after that and they sat in the large group hug, silent as they all thought about how they would help the girl. Once they pulled back, Jane made sure they all looked at her, “guys, if any of you need to talk to someone about anything. You’re going through what Kit is, you’re feeling down, you just want to talk, anything. I will always be here.”

The other queens agreed, offering their support to each other. “It’s crazy how in our first lives it was kind of ‘every man for herself’,” Boleyn mused, “but here we’ve all got each other’s backs.” The women nodded, sharing content smiles. “We’re stronger when we’re together,” Cleves smirked, “when we’re Six.” A quiet silence fell over the room as the peace, and a strengthened bond, fell into place, the rest of the evening proceeding.

Aragon noted her clock on her bedside table;’22:53’ it read. Standing from her desk, she got herself ready for a well-deserved rest, and knelt at her bedside to say her nightly prayer. She thanked her God for all the things she treasured in her life, and this time the list of things that were precious to her was longer than usual. “Thank you Father, for granting me another chance of life, here in the 21st Century,” a small smile fell on her lips, “thank you for giving me the opportunity to restore my relationships with people from my past, allowing me to form friendships with them and with those who I did not know back then but have been gifted to me now. Thank you, Father, for allowing me to experience this new adventure with these 5 amazing women at my side, I will not let you down.”

She continued on with her prayer until she reached the subject that she had been praying for earlier that morning; Katherine Howard. “Dear Lord, I pray for you to help young Katherine Howard. The girl has a pure heart and suffers terribly so due to the events of her past life. Please Lord, banish the demons that haunt her, let her be happy and joyous in this new life. And Father, please allow me the chance to help her, allow me the ability to comfort her and soothe her when her anxiety is too much. Thank you, Father, Amen.”

She stood shakily, feeling a connection with her God that she had not felt in a long time; he had heard her, and she knew it. The queen climbed into bed, pulling her covers right up to her chin and fell into a peaceful slumber.

Being awaken wasn’t in Aragon’s plans so, when she found her eyes slowly opening, she groaned quietly. She looked at her clock once again: this time the display told her that it was 3:34am. She turned over, planning to get a few more hours rest, in attempt to ignore whatever had woken her up in the first place. That’s the moment Catherine heard it though, the soft thud of feet walking up and down the corridor outside her room.

She waited for it to stop, and when it didn’t immediately, Catherine angrily threw back her duvet and shuffled over to the door. Aragon hated being woken up and whoever was responsible was about to see, first-hand, what the consequence was. Her furious expression fell as she pulled open her door to find Katherine Howard frozen on the spot, looking at her with terrified eyes. “Katherine,” she mumbled, wondering if she was dreaming up the image of the young adult at her doorway. The girl had her long hair plaited, wearing a hot pink nightshirt that was two sizes too big, and was clutching desperately onto the hand of a fuzzy pink bear; she looked so young in that instance that Catherine’s maternal instincts kicked in and she immediately wanted to protect the girl.

“Oh, Catherine, I was just wondering if… no it’s stupid, I’ve woken you up. I’m so sorry,” Katherine spun on her heel and went to run back to her bedroom. “Kat,” Aragon smiled kindly, opening her door wider, “come in, it’s okay.” The girl timidly entered the room, nodding in thanks to the queen. Catherine closed her door, turning to the younger queen, “what’s the matter Katherine?” “I, umm, wanted to thank you for this afternoon,” their eyes met as Kitty looked up, “I heard what you did for me and I really appreciate it.”

Aragon softened, a light smile playing on her lips, as Katherine continued, “I’m sorry I couldn’t snap out of it with you.” Catherine could see, even in the low light of her room, that Katherine’s face was turning red in embarrassment. “It’s okay Kat,” she smiled, “I get it. You don’t have to thank me though, of course I’d help you.” Aragon went to reach for Katherine’s hand but pulled her own back slowly when she remembered what Cleves and Parr had told her.

Katherine noticed, and, instead of telling Catherine directly that she would allow it, reached her own hand out to hold the Spanish queen’s. “I’m okay Catherine, you can touch me,” Katherine pulled the corners of her mouth up when she felt the light squeeze from the Spaniard, “I want to get better with physical touches and stuff. I should be okay as long as I’m aware of who is touching me.” Aragon acknowledged the girl’s statement as she traced light circles on the back of her hand, “Kat, can I hug you?”

The pink-haired girl, once again, did not give a verbal answer and, instead, immediately threw herself into the older queen’s arms. Catherine felt herself tearing up, and furiously batted her eyelashes to try and get rid of them before they fell. Kitty looked up, smirking as she brought her hand up to wipe a stray tear which had escaped, “you’re allowed to cry, y’know?” “Don’t tell Boleyn,” Aragon smiled back, hugging the laughing girl closer, “she’d never let me hear the end of it.” “Promise,” Katherine nodded, pulling back slightly but still holding onto Catherine, “I’m serious though, if you need to cry, feel free. I’ll be there for you if you need support.”

Aragon just laughed, “I had this exact conversation with the others this afternoon.” “Great minds think alike,” Katherine winked, placing a delicate kiss on Aragon’s cheek as they pulled back. She stood, looking at the Spanish queen for a second more before turning on her heels to retreat back to her bedroom. “Night Catherine.” “Night Kitty, sleep well,” Catherine mumbled as she climbed back under her covers, a content smile on her face as she fell back to sleep. Maybe this whole reincarnation thing wouldn’t be so bad after all.

#katherinehoward #katherine howard #catherine of aragon #sixthemusical #six #give me more of this friendship #the other queens appear #sixfic

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