#who will parrot weird shit kids say | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lowkeyrobin · 2 months

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Can i have mcyt + cellbit with a reader who has lots of pets like reptiles, birds and mice and stuff?

ooooo okay!! I don't know too much about little rodent pets (/lh) so I had to do some research, bare w me if anything is weird or wrong lmaooo

MCYT ; animal sanctuary

includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & cellbit

warnings ; language, talk of harm towards animals

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

"Holy shit, what is this? an animal sanctuary? this is your house???"

he loves all ur animals dw

he's afraid of the little parakeets though

he mistakes them for pigeons at first 💀💀

"WHY ARE THERE SPY BIRDS IN YOUR HOUSE???"

"what⁉️⁉️"

he's jittery around the mice and rats but he comes to love them

if you have a lizard/salamander that likes to be heald/climb all over ppl, you know damn well he's allowing it to crawl all over him

so many selfies and pictures of the little critters all over his insta, tik tok and even twitter

he makes a whole segment in his show to talk about your animals 😭😭

"the first time I ever went to y/n's house, I actually almost pissed myself" cue pictures of your little critters on the screen behind him "these fuckers are so terrifying. you see that bird right there? he mocks me everytime I speak! hashtag ban rodents 2024"

TUBBO

"Oh my god."

one how do you afford taking care of all these animals, two, why???

"these are my lizards. they've all been rescued from abusive households where parents gave their kids an animal and didn't care afterwards. most of them had limbs cut off but they've just about all regrown by now"

"Holy shit?.."

he loves the fuzzy critters like the mice, rats, guinea pigs, hamsters etc

not the biggest fan of reptiles or amphibians, they look cool but no touching for him

you guys turn the lights off, and ur led lights on and have a little concert with the animals and stream it (the music isn't super loud dw)

if any of the critters like climbing around on people, he'll always record or take pictures of them doing so

"mothball was climbing all over me today" and below is a video of a little mouse making a home in his hair 😭😭

"I think I need to rename them to Remy because you might be the next Alfredo Linguine"

if he's over at yours while recording a video or streaming, he always gets distracted by the birds and has to say hi and show them off

God forbid you own a parrot for some reason, it's his whole personality now

lovesss talking to the birds that talk back to him LMAOO

RANBOO

absolutely loves the reptiles and fuzzy critters

always taking pictures of them

you two do this fun thing by inspiring outfits around your different animals

like one day it'll be a certain salamander and another it'll be one of your birds

loves handfeeding the critters

loves posting their goodnight pics with one of your critters in hand/climbing on them

you guys go to animal shelters if you wanna find a new pet or buddy for a critter of course

yall always get the ones with the saddest backstories and shit

ranboo gets an axolotl

they're obsessed with her, and is so good at raising the fishy lizard 🫶

you bring a salamander over to meet the fish and they have a connection istg

ranboo takes a pic and posts it to Twitter; "two best friends in two different worlds"

is probably slightly afraid of the birds at first, they're scared of being bit

uses funny pictures of your animals as reaction memes

FREDDIE BADLINU

absolutely loves all your little critters

loves all the colors of them as well, especially the reptiles and birds

if you have a snake, he's terrified to get near it but will always take pictures of it climbing all over you

"You feed him spiders?? 😨😨😨"

he's the bird master

birds all over him all the time, he's a walking bird nest

always taking pics of/with your animals

if you have hamsters, good lord he's paying more attention to them than you 😭😭

"hiiiii, how are you today?"

"why do you actually care about my mice more than me"

also loves taking to the birds that talk back

has genuine conversations with them too

you do a cooking stream and he HIDES A RAT IN HIS HAIR FOR TEN MINUTES

"what the fuck"

"BAHAHAHHAA"

NIKI NIHACHU

absolutely adores all your little creatures

always has to show them off online

and always telling stories on stream

"y/n has this one salamander and she likes to nibble fingers, and one time-"

always taking cute pics with the pets that like to be heald/like to climb on people

she's literally an animal godess I swear

she's a critter whisperer sorry not sorry

always taking videos of funny moments / when you're giving all them time outside the cage

there's always birds on her shoulder, sleeping beauty ass 😭🙏

literally becomes a photographer for ur pets, she takes the best pictures ever

she makes them little hats and accessories 😭😭😭

always buying them toys as well

in the middle of the night you'll be awoken with the RMRMRMRMRMRM of the hamster wheel she got the hamsters

ALEX QUACKITY

"HOLY SHIT WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY FUCKING ANIMALS?"

literally has to make a note on his phone to keep track of all the names

he is not touching no damn reptile

always posting pics online

you guys start fostering critters as well

turns on loud meme music and has a concert with the mice

he knows how to call the birds like he's fucking sleeping beauty

"how tf did you just do that???"

"magic"

"okay then 🤨"

you foster a duck together that had her wings clipped

you name her together (it's named daisyhq I can't even make this up. you did the hq btw)

mice and rats all over him and his desk 24/7

and he'll gladly show them off on stream

"can we get a parrot?"

"my brother in christ we already have two birds?"

CELLBIT

also lovessss your critters

he genuinley has conversations with the birds

so many pictures of your animals on his social media LMAO

he names the new ones (you left it all up to him) the most random things

always asking you about toys before he buys them because he feels bad because what if they're lonely and sad but he doesn't wanna potentially hurt them either

always fucking around with the birds when they're hyper

also plays tag with the mice/rats

also loves showing them off on stream and ranting about them for a solid ten minutes

he finds a rat on the qsmp and names it after one of your rats

walks back in the house one day with a rat like "I found a friend! :D"

"Holy shit bro"

selfies with critters in his hair >>>>

alright this is all I got this took me way too long...

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #tommyinnit x reader #ranboo x reader #quackity x reader #badlinu x reader #freddie badlinu x reader #niki nihachu x reader #nihachu x reader #alex quackity x reader #quackityhq x reader #tubbo x reader #cellbit x reader

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shalpilot · 4 months

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do you have any head cannons for the captain trio as a whole? Silly or serious, they’re so stupid and I love them dearly

their periods synced for all of wano

Kid looks up words to use in arguments to sound smarter and luffy parrots him because he likes saying the words (he doesn’t say them right or in the correct context but he sure does say them!)

Kid likes robots and Law likes the fuckin. Germaverse so you’d THINK they have some overlap but they both enjoy them in such different ways that they just end up bickering. It turns into powerscaling. Luffy is delighted the entire time but he’s definitely on the side of whoever’s guy sounds the strongest at the moment.

I think everyone’s crews get along fine for the most part. It really is just the captains who are constantly at each other’s throats. When they pop into a room everyone pretends to tooootally not like each other tho (strawhats excluded. They’re nicies.)

^^^ expanding on that not captain related but I think Killer and Zoro totally have a weird bro thing going on like ahhhh you tried to kill me aahahahaha wanna do it again?? Are you free next Thursday? Hell yeah brother let’s go

Law bitches about the other two to his crew. Constantly. and they’re like there there captain you’re not old or a tiger. it’s okay.

Kid bitches about Luffy and everyone’s like yeah fuck that little twerp he’s so annoying (they love him) but when he bitches about Law everyone kinda 🤨

Especially killer he’s like. I know this….. I’ve been here before……..

Kid being really secretive about his abilities MID BATTLE WHEN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY FUCKING HELPFUL FOR LAW TO KNOW HOW THEY WORKED is really funny to me so I think he’s like that with. Everything. “What’s yourrrrrrr…. Favorite food? :)” “FUCK OFF AND DIE STRAWHAT AS IF I’D EVER TELL YOU”

(He’s bleeding out)

law: ah shit what’s your blood type

kid: I’d rather die than tell you. what’s next my one piece social security number. fuck you

And then he does die.

#ask shal

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thatoneguydownthestreet · 1 year

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Cater teaches you how to skateboard while you fall on your ass

Yuus pronouns are he/him so fems please dni

Cater was going to admit this once. Only once, and he'll never say it out loud.

He doesn't really care.

Well, that's not particularly true. He does care about some things, his dorm surprisingly being one of them.

But honestly? All that scrolling through magicam? It's mindless. He can't even remember half of the shit he liked and half of the shit he commented. Hell, he's pretty sure that he'd stayed on the same picture for thirty minutes once like some sort of weirdo and he still, for the life of him, can't remember what it was.

Cater had a personality, one he got from social media, but a personality nonetheless.

Sometimes though, he wondered if he was an actual person, and not just a...lifeless relection of trends and who parrots internet slang like it was his full time job, so when he finds something he cares about, it kind of snaps him out of this weird daze that doesn't seem to leave.

Even just for a moment. And whether he knows it or not, he tends to cling to that thing just enough to make sure they don't up and leave.

Yuu was one of those things.

Cater doesn't know how it happened either.

One moment, Yuu's freaking him out beyond belief and he's using every opportunity to get away from him.

And now? Here he is. Skipping out on club activities to teach the poor kid how to skateboard, for once not having the damn near constant urge to space out.

It wouldn't really be good to space out, only to snap back in and realize yuu had broken his nose or something.

So for the moment, he had his undivided attention, but despite his best efforts, falling on your ass and slamming was bound to happen at some point.

It s a skateboard.

Your ribcage will make contact with the concrete like they're long lost lovers.

"Yuu! Yuu, bend your knees! No wait, yuu stop wobbling!", ya know, despite it being called "the wobbles of death", yuu seemed to love doing them.

Not on purpose, of course. He was probably just confused. Cater did his skating through muscle memory and a weird kind of instinct, so he wasn't the best teacher by any means.

But damnit he was trying.

And look! Yuu just lasted an entire fifteen seconds without slamming!

Progress people. Progress.

"Hey Cater? How do I make a turn?

...Very slow progress.

"Just lean to the side you want to turn- not as far as you're thinking", he added the last part quickly. Getting used to the other boys antics.

And wouldn't you know? Yuu managed to make a few turns around the orange cones that cater had set up earlier that evening.

He only fell on his ass twice!

Cater smiled.

"Now do it again. No slip ups!"

Yuu only smiled.

His smiles.

They were shy, darling little things that only came out once in a blue moon.

Now, he actually looked confident.

Like he was finally in control of something.

Caters eyes softened and his smile become a little more real.

Mabey they could state to Sam's shop tomorrow.

"AH-", cater sites snapped over to where his friend was, and then immediately winced.

Yeah...let's make that little trip to next week.

#twisted wonderland #twst x male reader #twisted wonderland x male reader #twisted wonderland x reader #cater x reader #twst cater #cater diamond x reader #cater diamond #this one is short #sorry

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nightgoodomens · 3 months

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Asks under the cut (p3)

I feel like Michael has been showing how done with it he is since he started making a point to look as miserable as possible with her and to make it more blatant, how glowing he looked with DT instead. I also feel like that photoshoot was meant to be the beginning of finding her a career so they can end her bearding one. So she has some career so she isn’t dependant on him anymore. But that didn’t work out so she started clinging to him again. It’s a sad situation for everyone. I’d never want to have anyone this dependent on me so I can’t get rid of them, and I’d never want to be a woman this dependant on a man.

That thread is disgusting. Not only half of them have zero idea wtf they’re talking about, like usual on Twitter, but the absolute disgust leaking from it is pure homophobia. The same people feel like they can squeak over everything the ladies do, and can ask about those relationships, but anything about the men deserves disgust and how embarrassing it is. It’s fucked up. I am against asking questions like this but it wasn’t THAT bad, and I hardly blame the person who asked considering they asked AL who will respond with crap like “oh my loud parrot was a preparation for dating MS” yeah you know what, ask her whatever you want. She’s embarrassing. Besides 1. She didn’t need to answer. 2. That wasn’t a back off face, they’re just projecting their feelings yet again. It was a confused/thinking about it and then “hm” as she looked away. Like her reaction was actually quite funny because it looked like a “oh fuck he does” realisation. No need to project all feelings of hatred on it.

They literally told everyone they’re one big family and DT and MS are partners/boyfriends/husbands - if people think it’s disgusting then that’s something they have to deal with. I don’t think any of these people have the mental capacity to consider poly or anything but most typical relationships out there. Which is so ironic because this is supposed to be super open minded fandom… yet they freak the second someone says so I think two men might love each other. Please.

I always felt a little “huh” about that moment because of how serious he is during that. Not the usual joke way you would expect but a borderline statement. There’s so many moments during those years where you expect them to take the piss out of each other but they’re really serious about what they say.

I think it’s kind of looking up to her because GT does it at least a little better than her. GT does a lot of questionable things to me but majority of people just see the perfect image she created on the surface. She worked very hard for people to forget how fucked up the beginnings of this relationship were and now feels confident enough to call her kids drunk accidents and get away with it. But that is the fandom’s fault who sucks up everything she says and won’t dare to criticise. And she knows that. Well until she finally touched a subject that struck the nerve but while some chased her off, others were screaming queen you can do no wrong - see this is why they think they can do bare minimum and people will suck it up anyway.

But you’re right, generally her arrangement with DT works better (mostly, because she posted a video where he was complaining too, or pics where he’s done with everything, or her weird selfies where she looks into camera and he’s suppose to be cuddling to her which always gives me the cringe, or the “mine” even though the night was about him) and she’s better at support when she feels like it hence probably why people have more warmth for her. Majority of people just want DT content and they don’t care how or what it is.

But generally people who see through bullshit point out both GTs and ALs missteps. And MS and DT when they do some dumb shit. It’s the best fans who won’t dare to criticise anything.

To me it looks like MS is harder work because he’s done with shit so he won’t be pulling cute selfies etc to help the bullshit. But DT is easier to make feel guilty (omg I want to be my wife for a day to see how she deals with me… bruh you ok?) so he will do a stupid Morrisons video, take selfies and cling to her like he’s less than her on HIS big days. And constantly work his ass off to finally have her accomplish something instead of finally giving up. It’s weird and sad to me. And explains why he shines so much with MS who actually lets him be who he is and compliments him and loves him openly instead of trying to make him feel less.

Oh yeah season three will be a nepo show, big time!

#NightGoodOmens talks PR #NightGoodOmens talks Michael and David

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digitalisnarcissus · 1 month

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This shit is so fucking weird and I don't think people who say it know how much they're parroting the fucking cishet patriarchy.

FWIW I will never ever orientate my life around children, I would literally rather die, as a woman I have been told from day one that I should care about kids as a primary objective and I refuse.

I refuse! Die mad about it and take your snotty little brats with you.

#childfree #makes me want to get back into the toxic swamp of the community #I have made peace with kids largely they annoy me a reasonable amount these days #and yes they have a disgusting rights gap and are treated as pawns #but I simply do not believe I have more responsibility to some random kid than I do to me or the people I love that's an insane idea

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beyondblue2 · 9 months

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To the Dragon Ball Super Haters

So I still to this day see people making the same complaints about Dragon Ball Super, so let me just say this: I don't believe you can dislike Super for the vast majority of complaints made about it and still enjoy DBZ. Allow me to elaborate.

Most criticisms of Super, like inconsistent animation, or power of friendship shenanigans, or half-cooked plot, or powerups that have very little buildup, or hell, even powerups that really only change the user's hair color... are all present in DBZ. I think most people don't want to argue that DBZ doesn't deserve its legendary status because you'd be fighting alone against a horde. But it's much easier to proclaim your hatred of something new and cite a decline in quality.

These people either A) don't like DBZ either and therefore shouldn't be so entrenched in the franchise, B) don't dislike Super for the reasons they give but want to sound like they have good taste, or just dislike it for stupid reasons, or C) were tricked by people who come from points A or B into believing things are worse than they are, because they have the media literacy of a toddler.

It's like this. Say you run into someone while you're talking about how much you love Reese's Cups. And they tell you Reese's are a garbage treat and you're an idiot for liking it. And you get upset, obviously. And eventually you go "okay, explain it to me. Why do you hate them?" And they tell you that peanut butter is objectively terrible. Which, first off, it's not, that's your extremely subjective opinion. But second, didn't I see you eating a PB&J sandwich in the break room earlier? And they're like "yeah, PB&J is delicious, it's the best sandwich ever, nobody's disputing that." And you're just like... it has peanut butter though. And they're like "okay but you're taking it out of context." WHAT CONTEXT, BRO!? Either you think peanut butter is nasty or you don't! So you're either lying about hating Reese's to sound edgy and cool, or you're lying about loving PB&J because you don't want to be ostracized for being a freak.

That's basically what it boils down to. If you don't like Super, I'm not saying you're not valid. But be real. You probably don't like it because you were a kid when DBZ came out and your tastes have changed since then. I'm not going to sit here and act like Super isn't flawed, but let's not pretend that those same flaws didn't exist in Z, either. And don't give me that "Goku should be heroic" shit either, that was something the American dubbing crew did on their own. The same dub where Goku and Chichi had a weird offscreen kiss sound effect also told us Bardock was a brilliant scientist who invented the fake moon. Goku does heroic things from time to time, but he always does it with a kind of selfish basis of reasoning. He loves his friends, but he'll let Vegeta go to get a better fight later. He'll give Frieza some energy, but one more betrayal of trust and Goku will obliterate him.

You're either down with the main character being a flawed and interesting character and therefore will enjoy the Dragon Ball franchise, or you're not. In which case, stop clogging up the Tumblr tags and YouTube comments with your bitching and complaining. You don't see me infiltrating the Attack on Titan community to talk about how much it sucks. You know why? Because I fucking hate that series and I don't WANT to talk about it all the time. So if you watched some essayist trying to recreate the Nostalgia Critic or whatever and he told you Super sucks and you just parrot what he said without a sparking synapse in that smooth soap bar of a brain in your skull, then please, just shut the fuck up. For your own sake as well as mine.

#dbz #dragon ball #dragon ball super #dragon ball z #goku #son goku #vegeta #frieza

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winterberryholly · 1 year

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Hello, I’ve weaseled my way back into the ask box for one more question for nejiten: 14. How did they first meet?

Obviously, they were on a team together, but how do you think Neji and Tenten first interacted with each other at the academy? Did 6 year old Tenten throw hands with 6 year old Neji over something he said? Was it on sight snark fests until they got to team Gai and actually had a conversation? Were they aware of each other’s existence but never interacted until team assignments gave them reason to?

You make really fun/detailed answers for this ship and I like hearing about them.

Alright you sly dog you literally caught me monologuing so enjoy 😂 ask game here!

I hadn’t thought a ton about this so I kind of had to put together who they were back then first! For Tenten, I think she’s confident and playful, outgoing, a pleasure to have in class, etc. Nana raised her tough but kind, and made sure she knew not to take shit. So for her, I think everything about Neji is “so what?” He’s sooooo cute? So what? He’s a Hyuuga which makes him mysterious and cool? So what? He’s top in their class? So what? None of this matters to her because, in the words of MIKA, his perspective on life sucks. She has better things to do with her time than spend it on someone so grumpy.

For Neji, if he’s that young, he’s just on the heels of his father passing and he hasn’t had the seal very long either, AND he doesn’t have the ability to regulate himself at this age. He can’t engage with other children—he lashes out unexpectedly, he isolates himself during play, he copes with being ostracized by developing that “I’m better than you anyway” attitude—but on the flip side, he’s “great” with adults just like all the other Hyuuga kids have ever been (very quiet, very obedient), so some of his more worrisome behavior flies under the radar. I think Iruka catches it, but his questions get dismissed because you don’t ask questions about the Hyuuga kids.

Honestly with his difficulty relating to his peers, I can see Neji being labeled “weird”by the other kids just as easily as Lee—I don’t think Tenten is an exception, at first. So when she’s put on a team with him, and Lee (weird) and Gai (WEIRD) she’s like “am I weird too??” (she is, but not the point lol). But she tries to get on with everyone, and finds she can get on well with Neji; she’d just never tried before. That awe of him that Tenten has by the chuunin exams doesn’t come until she learns about the seal—it’s awe that he’s accomplished everything he has in spite of.

ALL THIS TO SAY: their first meeting is on the first day of school. Tenten introduces herself to him just as she would anyone else, Neji introduces himself back, all seems well. But then Tenten starts talking about how excited she is for school, and what’s Neji most excited about, and I think Neji got a loooooong talk the night before about why he’s there (to learn, and that’s it, and watch how you talk) and so this poor thing just parrots back “I’m not here to socialize”. Tenten is offended, sure, but she’s also confused? “What’s that supposed to mean?” Like how is he gonna get through school and not talk to ANYONE? Neji’s shocked at her blatant disagreement (he’s not the little sassmaster we know him to be yet) but he says “we’re here to learn” and Tenten puts on the biggest little pout and is like, “fine, don’t talk to me then! See if I care!!” And stalks off. I don’t think they snark at each other all through school or anything, but just don’t really gel.

I realized halfway through writing it that this first interaction is almost exactly the same as the “we’re not friends” scene in @chaosnojutsu ‘s times gone by but I left it like this because you know what? Char is right.

Thanks for weaseling on back!!! Always welcome!! 💕

#givemeanaccountalready #nejiten #otp asks #ask game #i give detailed answers because i cannot help writing down every thought i have LMFAO #thank you!!!

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kisskissbanggang · 11 months

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Jumpspace Renegade - ep. 11 ✨🚀

[5.1k words, <20 min. read - Stray Kids Multi Fic, Scifi!au, Choose Your Own Adventure - SFW/Smut in Other Chapters - Mentions of Changlix, Navigating Feelings, Unexpectedly Not as Exciting as Some Characters are Hoping, Minho is Getting Restless, Minho is Also Indeed Still Acting Weird, Rescue Missions, Prison Breaks, Hints of Motives, Crumbs of Backstory, Dumb and Unusual Punishment, Loyalty Crisis, We’re Still on the Ocean Planet, Mentions of Blood, Scifi Guns, Always Check the Tags]

[Episodes on Fridays 7pm pst, Polling closes Saturdays 7pm pst]

[Series Masterlist | Come Say Hi!]

“Do you think you’re in a place to be making demands?” Chan was pissed. The bounty was asking for a goddamn cabin?

Minho cocked his head, almost taunting the captain. “Do you want your appraiser back? Ask Nova. She’ll tell you I'm the best bet you have.”

Both men looked at you then. You took a brief, deep breath.

“Minho should be compensated. You’re having him help bring back Hyunjin, and who knows what kind of mess he’s in. Making the bounty do work for nothing is just slave labor,” you determined. Chan reeled. Minho grinned.

“But-!” you added.

A mutual pause struck them both.

“Obviously,” you continued, “there should be conditions.”

“Oh really,” Chan and Minho said in unison. The captain was smug. The bounty was the one reeling now.

“Yes!” you confirmed. “Minho should be locked in and out at all times.”

He grumbled under his breath at this, gaze set hard on Chan even though you were the one coming up with this garbage. “Fine,” he sighed.

“What else?” Chan asked.

“What else?!” Minho repeated, whining.

“And–” you floundered. “And, and… and! To continue paying for this upgrade, you’re on-call for medic duty and other auxiliary crew assignments, like this.”

Chan clapped his hands together. “Yes, even better.”

Minho scoffed hard. “You’re a fucking piece of work, Captain.”

“And you’re a piece of shit!” Chan retorted. “Do you want the cabin or not?! This was your brilliant idea.”

“Yeah,” Minho huffed, “and my next brilliant idea is to put my foot up your ass.”

Chan groaned and pointed accusingly. “Holy shit you’re so annoying, I should’ve fucking shot you when you asked me to! I have half a mind to–”

“Oh my god,” you interrupted, “would both of you shut UP?”

Thankfully, this seemed to do the trick. You turned to Minho. “You want to make it to Daedalus in one piece, don’t you?”

Minho’s glare could kill. Chan paused again.

“... Interesting. You want to go to Daedalus, Lee?”

You winced in realization before turning back to face the captain.

“Uh, obviously,” you floundered. “Minho’s fiance is there, laying low until he gets back.”

Chan raised an extremely dubious eyebrow. “Fiance,” he repeated, unbelieving.

Jeongin chuckled, still lurking in the doorway of the medical office. “Fiance?” he also parroted. “It’s not Momo, is it?”

“Momo would never go back to Daedalus,” Chan shook his head. His gaze fell on you now, wondering where the hell you would get an idea as stupid as covering for Minho.

“Fine,” Minho relented. “I’ll do it.”

This seemed to pacify the captain. “Glad that’s settled,” he casually nodded as he turned to leave the med bay. “Our ground clearance expires at nightfall, so you have the whole afternoon if you need. Now get the hell out of here.”

“Well, hold on–” Minho added.

Chan paused.

“You’re asking me to go out there with no cover, and you haven’t cashed your bounty yet. Can I at least get my obfuscator back?”

The captain thought about this and shrugged. “Smartest thing you’ve said since you’ve been on this ship. Knock yourself out.” He strolled over to a locker built into the wall at the top of the spiral staircase and beeped it open. Inside was a satchel, which Chan pawed around in. He retrieved a small pendant and tossed it back to Minho.

“What’re the chances of getting my bag back before Daedalus?”

“Doubtful,” Chan shook his head. “What are my chances of you thanking me?”

“Doubtful,” Minho mocked. He pocketed the pendant and grabbed your hand before pulling you down the stairs with him.

“What about you thanking me?” you teased him.

Minho stopped dead before wheeling on you, pulling you onto the same step he stood on and herding you against the wall of the stairwell. You felt your eyes widen when he leaned in. “I’m sure my new fiance will be thrilled to hear you got me better accommodations,” he finally retorted, voice low and ominous, but still somehow reminding you of your rendezvous the other morning.

You got over yourself. Based on everything you'd seen so far, Minho was all bark and no bite. You tiptoed up to kiss his cheek, predictably breaking his concentration. Minho wrinkled his nose and swatted you off before turning to reach the galley floor.

“I said no more of that,” he badgered back over his shoulder. “Just, ugh, don’t overdo the cover story next time.”

“Yes sir,” you complied, only slightly rolling your eyes. He did have a point.

Minho’s expression over his shoulder turned into a smirk. “Sir? I like that.”

He paused by the table in the galley, with Seungmin still peacefully passed out in the booth.

“What’s the story here?” Minho asked, jabbing a thumb in his direction.

“Not sure,” you answered. “Changbin and Jeongin said there’d been a misunderstanding when he went to drop off the charts for his clients.”

Minho drew out a pen light, likely swiped from a drawer in the med office, and stooped down to get a better look at the navigator.

“I’d love to know what kind of misunderstanding it was,” he casually remarked. He gently ran a fingertip through a dark blue smudge on Seungmin’s glasses and rubbed it between his fingers before smelling it and ultimately tasting it, much to your horror. He reeled for a moment, face scrunched in regret. “Holy shit,” he laughed. “This is Azure. You know what that is?”

You blankly shook your head, feeling a bit dumb and naive once again.

“Makes sense,” Minho assured you. “It’s made of ink from a specific type of sea cucumber in the subarctic seas here, so it doesn’t go off-planet that often.”

“What is it?” you asked curiously.

“At its most innocent? Party drug. College kids and marines on surface leave love the stuff, but I never understood the appeal,” the bounty explained. “At its worst? Well… you know.”

“Oof,” you winced. “So with Seungmin… You don’t think–”

“Nothing nefarious,” Minho quickly reassured you. “Again, the Phaborians are largely against violence. If the guys say there was a misunderstanding, I'm guessing the navvy’s clients originally intended to tranq’ a possible threat to play it safe.”

“So he’s fine?” you implored. You tried not to sound worried.

“Yeah, hun,” Minho nodded. “He’ll wake up with a pounder of a headache and a wicked case of minor amnesia, but he’ll be fine.”

Finally pleased with his diagnosis, Minho followed you out to the workshop. You tried to ignore a dot of Felix's blood on the floor at the top of the ramp. Instead, you let yourself be entertained by how Minho apparently knew how to access the weapons rack behind its hidden door. You were interested to see what he’d grab, and were somehow not surprised to see it was only a single blaster before he closed the rack again. He clipped on the pendant that Chan had returned to him while you ventured down the ramp together, tucking the thing into the collar of his shirt.

“So,” you started, but stopped short. It was hard not to feel like you were being a pain despite your curiosity. You pointed at the pendant. “What exactly does that do?”

“You've never seen an obfuscator?” Minho chuckled. “That’s surprising. I bought mine in T’kaarm.”

“Don’t make me feel dumb,” you whined. More and more, you were being proven to not even be as street smart as you originally thought. Reaching the end of the ramp, you led him around to where you left the four-wheeler.

“Calm down,” laughed Minho. “You know how most facial scanners are affected by interference or distortion maybe once every ten times?”

“Sure,” you nodded. Obviously.

He pointed at the pendant. “This thing spews out a cloud of interference, it’s like a portable data jammer–”

“That’s what that does?” came a voice unexpectedly. You both jumped and searched, quickly finding the cabin boy gingerly closing the sub-hatch door to the cargo hold.

“Jeongin?!” you asked, still a bit startled. “What’re you doing out here?”

“Chan’s crazy if he thinks Seungmin needs watching,” he heatedly explained. “Seungmin needs sleep and Jisung still isn't back! Can you give me a ride to the market?”

You and Minho traded glances. Jeongin had a perfectly good reason to go from the sound of it, but it was pretty clear he snuck out–

“You were dropping off the payload with the navigator?” Minho asked, interrupting your deliberation.

Jeongin nodded in response, confused. What did that have to do with anything?

Nevertheless, this was apparently the right answer. Minho waved him over with a nod while shooing you away from the seat or the four-wheeler.

“What,” you scoffed, “you don’t trust me?”

Minho tickled your waist, the same move as earlier, to get you out of the way before he sat down at the handlebars. “There’s plenty of room for you behind me if you want. You can cuddle up real cozy.”

You swiftly punched Minho in the shoulder before sitting down on the mudguard. For wanting to curtail any fooling around, your alliance with Minho apparently did not forbid occasional flirting.

Jeongin’s eyes awkwardly darted between you two before hopping on as well, just before Minho set off to take you back to the market. Maybe it was the new surroundings, maybe it was the events of the day, but it felt like you'd been on Phaborus for weeks. The sunlight on the water was gorgeous as it just started to set. Really, you were beginning to regret you didn't have any time to actually put your feet in the water.

Rude as ever, Minho interrupted your sightseeing. He shot a look back at Jeongin.

“Alright. You gotta know what happened to knock out the navvy.”

“What,” Jeongin ogled with a laugh, “you want the gossip or something?! I have no clue, dude. Changbin and I were waiting out in the lobby. Seungmin was taking his meeting solo, and suddenly we hear yelling and this bang like a blaster or something.”

“Oh shit,” Minho remarked. “You think Seungmin pulled a gun?”

“Seungmin?!” Jeongin wheezed. “He'd never. No, I assume it was a capsule gun or something, something to aim the Azure. Changbin and I barged in when we heard it.”

“And?” you asked, more intrigued now.

Jeongin shrugged. “They were checking his charts and pockets and apologized. And then we left.”

“Oh my god,” Minho groaned. “That’s it?! You’re the most boring crew I've ever met.”

The bounty paused when he pulled you up to the market, at a similar spot to where Felix had parked that morning. He pointed past Jeongin's direction.

“Go on,” he directed. “Get. Don't come back unless you have Jisung or a juicier story.”

Jeongin’s eyes nearly rolled out of his head. Still, he waved goodbye before venturing off into the market. Minho got your attention again. This time, he was pointing at an open air restaurant at the edge of the marketplace.

“I went on my first date there,” he serenely explained. He didn't give you a chance to even digest that properly before he revved the engine and took off again, but it stuck with you. You tried imagining Minho as a teenager, head in the clouds instead of invested in civil uprising, maybe even bashful and shy on a date.

You were preoccupied, feeling a little mentally exhausted when Minho pulled up to the temple. The feelings of ease and curiosity that shaded your previous trip here were replaced with wariness and paranoia. This had gone so wrong earlier that suddenly, there was no doubt in your mind that it wouldn’t get any better or easier. Minho seemed to sense this, judging by the way that he hesitated when he got off the four-wheeler. He was, as always, surprisingly gentle with you. A mindful finger nudged under your chin brought your momentarily unfocused stare to his eyes. The setting sun reflected beautifully off the circuitry in Minho’s otherwise rich, dark gaze.

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

You nodded in acknowledgement but pushed Minho’s hand away nonetheless. “We need to get Hyunjin back,” you reasoned.

“It’s not like you know him or anything,” Minho reminded you.

“Sure,” you nodded, “but we’re a crew. Tell me the plan.”

Minho’s normally hard expression softened a little and he let you hop off the four-wheeler. He checked the charge on his blaster. “My plan, honestly, is that we storm the place and start firing if we don’t get any answers–”

“Oh no, I don’t think so!” came a familiar voice from the temple.

The old priest was standing by the door, arms folded across her chest.

Minho was a bit caught off-guard by this. So were you, to be honest, but you weren’t the one preparing for a firefight. He gave you a dubious look before he walked over. Soon enough, Minho and the priest were having a heated discussion, both squaring off with their stances, pointing any which way, pointing at you, and nearly shouting at each other – all in Phaborian. You’d thought it earlier, but this practically confirmed Minho being modest about his abilities when you first mentioned stopping at the Hatchery. But soon, with the bickering and discussing and arguing seemingly past, the tall, elderly priest placed her hand on Minho’s head, seemingly reciting a small rite or brief blessing before sternly dismissing him, back in your direction. The whole exchange had taken minutes.

“So about your firefight…” you smirked.

“It sounded so much more grave up until now!” Minho reeled. “They did the respectful thing and dumped him. Your appraiser is in jail at the port authority.”

“Is that far?” you worried.

Minho scoffed. “Not at all. It’s on the other side of the market.”

This time, hopping on the four-wheeler, you surprised Minho by sliding onto the seat behind him, calling his earlier bluff. When he questioned it, you teased that it was for better balance. He didn’t argue when you wrapped your arms around his middle for more security. Cutting through the market this time meant Minho was patiently weaving through swaths of passerby. You nudged your chin closer to Minho’s ear, asking him if Phaborus still felt the same as when he was younger.

“As similar as it can when you’re older,” he shrugged. “Everything feels smaller, more quaint, I guess. I missed it, though. Feels like going back to a simpler time.”

“Simpler all around?” you asked. “Or simpler for you?”

“Simple for me,” Minho admitted. “I don’t think I’ve let myself have a simple notion in years.”

A blaring horn behind you alerted Minho to a coming vehicle, moving much faster than the crowd. He navigated to the side of the road as much as possible, a tall task for a crowded street, but managed to get out of the way just in time for a speedbike to come blazing through.

With Jeongin riding it.

He noticed you both, too, judging by the way he braked suddenly. Now that the bike wasn’t in motion, you recognized it as the one Jisung had been using.

“Where are you going?” you called over.

“I’m trying to follow some leads!” Jeongin answered while Minho pulled up alongside him, yelling over the ambient cacophony of the market along with both your idling engines.

“No luck?” Minho asked him.

“Folks have seen him,” answered Jeongin. “I didn’t bring a headset with me so I’m working with a language barrier. But he’s been around, and I don’t think he’s made any positive impressions by the sound of it.”

“Finally,” Minho sighed. “Something exciting, hopefully. Come with us to the port authority. We can get your appraiser and if Jisung has been getting into trouble, they might know about it.”

“Is Hyunjin in jail?” Jeongin grinned. He laughed out loud when you nodded. “I gotta see this,” he explained. “Hyunjin is either the king of the drunk tank or dying of germ exposure.”

You traded glances with Minho again before gesturing for Jeongin to follow along. It turned out you weren’t much further to the port authority, and it was only a couple minutes more before you were able to park outside. Unlike the gorgeously amber-hued clay buildings of the Hatchery with their storm windows and alternating roofs of tin or tile, the Federation installations were all a gross combination of concrete and steel. The port authority jail wasn’t an exception, it being a sterile looking building that was probably enjoying a break from the typically unrelenting rain.

The clerk was a bored, likely conscripted Phaborian, looking through paperwork when the three of you came in. There was no greeting, no acknowledgement.

“Officer, we’re looking for a crew member,” Minho confidently began.

The young Phaborian, masculine in stature, looked up at him. “And you’re…?”

“First Mate Lee, tradeship Ambler.”

Jeongin raised an amused eyebrow at you from where you both flanked Minho. The clerk tapped into a computer.

“And you’re missing…?”

“Hwang? Hyunjin? We think we lost him during surface leave at the start of the day.”

“Found him,” the clerk boredly remarked. “Can’t release him yet, sir.”

“What?!” Minho sputtered. He leaned forward, striking up another hushed argument in Phaborian with the clerk this time. The language was difficult to parse out tone from, but whatever Minho was saying to the clerk, it involved some elaborate hand gesturing and emphatic repetition. At one point, you could’ve sworn Minho was miming a stabbing motion. The clerk finally reacted somewhat interestingly, eyes widening before he ultimately nodded. He tapped into the computer some more and pulled out some paperwork to sign before scurrying to a back office.

Minho sighed and turned around, leaning back on the desk. “This is garbage,” he whined. “I’m paying for room and board on my way to a prison sentence with this?”

“What’d you tell him?” you asked.

You were met with a shrug from Minho. “It was an easy story. They think Hyunjin did it, and they just want him to say sorry. So I said he did it. And that he was deeply ashamed about stealing it, but he was in a sordid affair with a rich woman who betrayed him, and maybe it made him a little crazy, so he just decided to return it.”

Jeongin was failing to hold in a snicker. “He’s going to love this.”

“Why lie?” you balked.

“Too much back and forth,” Minho tiredly explained.

The clerk came back with a huge officer who ushered the three of you back into a row of holding cells. Hyunjin, unlike Jeongin’s prediction, was not king of the drunk tank or apparently dying from germ exposure. Instead, the appraiser was napping, sitting up against the wall in the first cell, sporting a bandage on his jaw that could possibly have been hiding a bruise or other small injury. A much heftier dressing adorned his hand where he’d been shot back at the temple. The officer banged on the bars, roughly rousing Hyunjin from his rest, but he quickly woke up upon seeing you all. He hopped to his feet and grabbed his bag. The officer opened the door for him and stepped aside, letting him through with ease. Hyunjin was very confused why the officer gave him a pitying look as he passed.

“Is that all you’ll be needing?” the officer asked.

“We should be fine,” you replied, feeling more like you were checking out at a hotel. You regarded your compatriots. “That’s all we needed, right?”

Everyone shrugged. You were ready to leave, until a voice rang out down the aisle.

“Nova? Guys?!”

You and the rest of your party processed this for a moment.

Jisung.

You would’ve thought you’d realized first if Jeongin didn’t run right away.

Sure enough, there was Jisung in the last holding cell. His enhanced eye had apparently been punched at some point. He clung onto the bars when you all arrived.

“When did you get here?!” Hyunjin ogled.

“When the fuck did you get here?” Jisung asked in return.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” the officer ushered you all away from the cell. “Not him.”

“Why?” asked Jeongin.

“Still doing paperwork. But he should be fine tomorrow.”

Tomorrow? Not good, you realized. Chan had told you the ground clearance would expire at nightfall.

Minho’s lips brushed your ear. “Pretend to be Jisung’s wife,” he instructed in a whisper.

You shot him an entirely involuntary but very necessary glare in refusal. “What? Why?!” you demanded.

The bounty rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

In a stunning theatrical display, Minho reached for the bars and immediately began arguing with the officer now, really playing up something supposedly personal and emotional before the officer gave up with a sigh. He begrudgingly opened Jisung’s cell, too, and Minho dramatically collapsed inside, cradling Jisung’s confused face and kissing him full on the lips. Jisung exclaimed, muffled by Minho’s mouth before falling backwards. Minho hauled him up to his feet and profusely thanked the officer over and over and over again while pushing all of you back out to the lobby.

Minho continued to graciously thank the officer while he tried to pass the clerk’s desk with no trouble, too, but that was too good of a hope to come true. The front doors barred shut with a heavy clank. You all panicked, looking for what reason there could be to still be here… until the clerk held out a hand.

“1,200 Credits,” he boredly requested, holding out a number pad. A deathly silence fell over the lobby.

“... For what?” you finally asked.

“His–” he pointed at Hyunjin, “damage to the temple.”

“And Jisung?” Minho asked, amused.

The clerk pulled out a report. “Han, Jisung,” he read, “responsible for damage to five market stalls, one restaurant, and three civilian vehicles.”

Jeongin and Hyunjin were practically rolling on the floor with this revelation. And Minho was nearly about to launch into yet another cloying argument–

–when the lanky cabin boy simply walked up, wiping away a hysterical tear, and punched in his credit number.

The four of you: Minho, Jisung, Hyunjin, and you, all traded bewildered looks at the exchange. Afterwards, the clerk still had his hand outstretched when you finally realized. You pulled the pendant out of its pocket in your waist pack and handed it to him. He briefly marveled at it before delicately placing it into a locked drawer.

With the clerk satisfied, he waved over Hyunjin and Jisung, who had their faces scanned before the doors unlocked.

You all felt a bit dazed when you left the small jail. There were a few more questions humming around your head. What exactly did Minho tell the cop to get Jisung out of holding early? What the hell did Jisung get into that got him that heavy of a price tag to get out? Because a majority of that couldn’t have been Hyunjin. And where the fuck did Jeongin get all that money?!

“What the hell was the tortured lovers routine for?” Jeongin snorted.

Minho’s eyes rolled back in his skull. “Holy shit,” he impatiently blustered. “There’s a theme here, can’t you tell?! The Phaborians value love and relationships above anything, that’s what makes them so peaceful but also fucking terrifying if you mess with them–”

“But I didn’t get a smooch,” Hyunjin pouted. Jeongin howled another laugh beside him.

“Want one?” Minho shot back. “Come here, I’ll even – what do you think you’re doing?”

Jisung was about to get on the speedbike when Minho stopped him.

“Sorry, dear,” Jisung sardonically answered.

“Get your ass over here,” Minho demanded. “Someone has to have a juicy fucking story for me or I will lose it.”

“Yeah, I have some questions, too,” Hyunjin ribbed, sitting himself down in his same spot from the morning.

“What about us?!” you asked, gesturing to Jeongin. Jisung reluctantly sat himself across from Hyunjin.

“I dunno. Meet us there!” Minho gleefully yelled, revving his engine and speeding off.

You turned to see Jeongin patting the seat of the speedbike. “Room for two,” he grinned.

Fair enough, you reasoned. You’d hardly interacted with Jeongin at all since you’d arrived. He straddled the bike before you and waited until you settled in before he also gunned it out onto the main road. Unlike riding with Minho earlier, this proximity felt a bit more sudden. The sun on the water was gorgeous as it was setting. But now you were burning with curiosity.

“So…” you began, holding Jeongin around his middle as platonically as you could. “You’re, uhm, fucking loaded with cash?”

You could feel Jeongin laugh, the way his broad shoulders shook. “I guess so?”

“And despite this,” you continued, “you’re cool being a cabin boy?”

“As opposed to what?” Jeongin asked over his shoulder. Just like Felix, any of Jeongin’s tattoos were decorative. A small one of a creeping vine was tucked behind his ear. So far, he was the only member of the crew that you’d seen without a military brand. “I wasn’t anything before Chan, so I kind of just took what I could. If that’s as a cabin boy, then so be it.”

“Right,” you nodded blankly, “but what was before? What did you leave behind?”

“You got a hell of a lot of questions, Miss Nova,” Jeongin smirked. “But whoever, whatever I left behind was nothing of note. It wasn’t any way to live, that’s for sure.”

This struck you harder than you expected. You definitely understood leaving behind nothing of note. It just surprised you that someone with as much cash as Jeongin could feel that way.

But it was valid.

No way to live was no way to live, no matter how you sliced it.

You lamented not being able to feel the water or the sand one more time when you met up with Minho at the workshop. Well, you were supposed to meet up with them. Weren’t you? You and Jeongin searched around the ramp and the ship, even peeking into the galley, but no sign of them, until you sighted them a few minutes later pulling into the port.

Minho looked pissed. Hyunjin looked more disgusted, but both men were unmistakably put off.

Jisung was babbling something when Minho drove up the ramp. Jeongin began retracting the bay door, equally confused as you were. Minho flapped a hand at Jisung to shut him up.

“I’m ashamed to call myself your fake husband,” Minho pointed accusingly at him. “I need to hear that you apologized tomorrow. Get the hell out of my face.”

You tried to reach for Jisung, who leaned out of the way, mumbling about needing something from his cabin. Minho turned his threatening point to you now.

“Babe, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll have no mercy on that idiot.”

All this noise apparently summoned Chan, who stalked out of the cabin by your room and donned a welding mask. He pointed his laser torch at Jeongin.

“You!” he bellowed. “What the hell are you thinking? You had me fucking worried sick. I gave you a direct order! I had no clue where you were!”

Jeongin stood quiet, like he was withstanding a scolding from a parent.

Chan pointed with his torch beyond the workshop. “You go clean the head and report back to me. You’ll love the stupid chores I’ve been saving up.”

You watched Jeongin nod affirmatively before leaving for midship, not hanging his head in shame or anything, but his eyes trained on the floor nonetheless. When you brought your focus back to the current commotion, Hyunjin was adding to Chan’s stress levels, apparently, by explaining Jisung’s absence.

“ARRESTED?” the captain shouted. He took off the welding mask to run his fingers through his hair in distress. “Why the fuck was he arrested?!”

“He can tell you all about it,” Hyunjin grumbled. “I’m sweaty, I’m gross, I have a headache – I’m taking a shower.”

“I just directed Jeongin to clean the head,” Chan argued, exasperated.

“Then he’ll either wait or close his eyes,” groaned Hyunjin, brushing past Chan on his way into the ship.

This left you and Minho. Chan took a deep, heaving, steadying breath before grandly gesturing towards the cabin he emerged from.

“I’ve prepared Sir’s stateroom during his expedition.”

“What’s with the torch?” Minho grinned, peeking into the room.

Chan proudly gestured with his welding mask. “I sealed your stupid hatches shut, you son of a bitch.”

“Great,” deadpanned Minho. “What if there's an emergency?”

“That doesn’t sound like my problem right now,” Chan shrugged. “Now, thank you for your service, but get the hell in there.”

“Yes sir,” Minho mocked. Unexpectedly, though, he leaned over and kissed your cheek. Except, of course, his gesture catching your attention meant it was pretty much a peck on the lips. He ducked into his new room before either you or Chan had a chance to react.

You tried to process this for a second before you caught Chan leering at you. Now you got it. You were a dumb little bartering chip between the two men. The key card Chan forgot to get back from you was burning a hole in your pocket for some reason.

“You’re sure there's nothing going on with you and the bounty?” the captain asked while he walked back out to the workshop proper. The grease and sweat smeared on him was almost as endearing as it was gross.

“Yes, Captain,” you teased. “I'm more worried about Felix, though.”

“Felix is doing fine,” Chan assured you. “He’s resting… in Changbin’s room.”

“Really,” you gawked.

“Right?!” Chan laughed. “And Seungmin's resting in his room, too… If you’re wondering.”

“Why would I be wondering?” you deflected.

Chan chuckled to himself, packing up his tools and setting the welding mask back in its compartment. “You’re cute, you know that? And you have time. There’s only one boost lane on Phaborus so we’re backed up until well into nightfall.”

“You don’t need me for anything?”

The captain looked puzzled. “No? There's such a thing as free time, love, go cherish it. Just don't leave the ship in case our time gets moved up.”

Chan left for the galley, leaving you alone in the workshop. A heavy ball of restlessness weighed you down. You wondered what should be next. If you couldn’t leave the ship, what could you do? The first thing that came to mind was Felix, checking on him and seeing how he was doing. However, there was also Jisung. Minho was fuming on your behalf. Or, you mused… you could check on Seungmin. You couldn’t deny you were worried about him, and Minho did manage to make you wonder just went so wrong in the first place.

#stray kids fanfic #stray kids smut #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #ALWAYS CHECK THE TAGS #look 🤧🤧🤧 i'll level with you 🥲🥲🥲#if you choose the cute option #you're gonna get a VERY cute chapter #DON'T LET ME DOWN #if you choose the funnier option it'll still be a pretty sweet chapter tbh #and the felix option gets us a frustrating mix of all three THERE I SAID IT #please for the love of all that is sacred pick the cute or funny option PLEASE

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wakeupthemembersofbylernation · 2 years

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yall are acting like mbb isnt an 18 year old girl who has constantly been in positions where she is heavily influenced by the people around her. from a boyfriend who made sexual comments about her sucking dick when she was underage, to the whole ass lgbtqia+ community using her photos to make homophobic memes, she's been through it, and ofc her takes are a little fucked. i mean, even matthew modine is saying nice things about brenner— mbb is parroting that shit too.

she shouldn't have been asked about byler anyways— she's not the writers nor actors for byler. she can only say what she thinks, and she was probably scrambling to find some sort of answer that wouldn't get her into too much trouble. if she doubles-down on something, people take her word as law. remember how last month she joked with noah schnapp in an interview about killing off all the characters— and then media outlets took that little joke and made whole articles about how "millie bobby brown wants the duffer brothers to kill all the characters!" if she's too vague, people get pissed at her for "not being supportive". she was damned if she did anything, damned if she didn't.

No one said Mille hasn’t been through a lot, but I fail to see the correlation? People made stupid homophobic memes about her, so she has a right to say something vaguely homophobic??? Her boyfriend was abusive, so she has no responsibility over her words??? Media outlets took her obvious joke about ST going game of thrones and killing off the characters seriously, so she has a right to call Will “confused and unlabeled”???

I’m not hating on Millie. No one here is really. I think she is clearly a well-meaning person, a talented actress, and someone with a strong sense of humor. And it’s also clear that she wasn’t trying to hate on Will as a character. It’s clear she genuinely thought she was saying something helpful and thoughtful. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t call her out on it? You’re like “oh she’s just 18?” Fam, she isn’t a little kid who doesn’t understand what she’s saying. She’s a thoughtful, intelligent young woman who can legally vote! And even if she were younger, it wouldn’t make her comments okay. And she’s not just a random eighteen year-old saying things; she’s one of the starring cast members, and her words can have ramifications. This is such a weird take.

I agree she probably shouldn’t have been asked about Byler. But the problematic comments she made weren’t about Byler; they were about Will’s sexuality, after it’s already been confirmed by the Duffers, implicitly by the show, and explicitly by her literal best friend, Noah. And that’s the issue.

#byler #will byers #mike wheeler #millie bobby brown

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kolbietheaggrievedwriter · 11 months

Text

Someone has written their own take on a BrOC (which you should check out!), and it reminded me of my first iteration of jumpstart, where I initially thrust our OC into Bro eight years before canon. I prefer the current plot, especially bc I absolutely do not know how to write a 5 year old. But it's a fun little idea.

You allow your head to thunk onto the counter. The pain barely registers through your panic. You've been denying the possibility the moment you woke up and discovered that you had switched both locations and bodies overnight, but it's been half an hour. Nothing's changed. It's not a dream. Your name is (probably) Dirk Strider, and you are absolutely, undeniably fucked.

"Bro?" And that's a kid calling out to you, jesus christ.

You don't want to look up. You don't want to acknowledge the reality of your situation. But there's a kid involved, and you could never put your own discomfort above the wellbeing of a child. Besides, you have a pretty good idea who that kid is, and he definitely doesn't deserve to have his (probable) guardian ignore him.

You lift your head and get your first good look at the real life version of Dave motherfucking Strider. He's tiny, is your first thought. Itty bitty. He can't be older than four or five. He's also wearing tiny duplicates of the cringe shades you haven't had the courage to actually put on your face without dying of embarrassment, and he's fucking adorable. What the hell. Why can a kid pull off those dumbass shades better than you?

Probably because kids can make anything look cute, but a grown ass man would just look like some weeaboo dipshit.

"Sup, li'l man," is what comes out when you open your mouth to answer him. What the fuck. Is Bro, like…still inside you? Well, he can just get fucked then. You're in charge now.

Dave approaches you slowly, cautiously, like he's going to get in trouble if he gets too close. "Sup," he says, pushing his shades back up when they slide down.

"How old are you now?" You ask, monotone, which is weird as fuck because you're not particularly trying to not emote, but you figure this body has been programmed to do this shit for, what - twenty something years now? People say habits are hard to break for a reason.

Dave apparently doesn't think anything of your question because he doesn't hesitate to answer. "I'm five," he says, drifting closer to you almost like he can't help himself, even despite his wariness. "It's my birthday," he adds, aiming for the same monotone shtick you've got going on but missing by a mile. He's obviously hoping for something, and you bet those big eyes are shining with fragile expectation behind the mini shades.

"Five," you say, contemplative, as an idea strikes. You're not going to abuse a small child, so sticking to the script is a no go. Might as well go completely off the rails and do things your way. "That's a big milestone for a li'l dude. Now that you've made it five whole years, I think it's about time you were officially designated as my li'l bro."

"Li'l bro?" Dave parrots, curious but trying not to seem so. The shades slip again. He pushes them back up.

"Yup. You're my bro now, so things between us are gonna change a bit. No more acting like we're too cool for school around each other, alright? That shit's for other people. We don't front in front of each other. Striders stick together," you give him a bullshit explanation and hope he buys it. Otherwise, you're not sure how to explain your abrupt change in behavior. "You good with that?" You ask, making sure it's actually a question.

"I'm good," Dave says, though he looks confused. This is probably the most he's ever heard his "Bro" speak, and you are being pretty vague.

You turn, crouch, and open your arms. "First things first: hugs. Bros hug any time they feel like, but they get a special one on their birthday. It's tradition." Or it will be, anyway. Humans need physical affection and kids even more so. You, for your part, fucking love hugs. You're not about to let your kid (Oh fuck, he's your kid!!!) be deprived of such a pivotal human experience any longer.

Dave looks surprised, and he takes his sweet time walking over and getting up in your space, pausing every now and then like he's waiting for you to change your mind - or more likely, say it was a "test" and that Dave had failed or something. But you maintain your position, and your intent expression lets him know you are dead serious about this.

#my fic #jumpstart #brOC #homestuck #also the abrupt change is probably way too unnatural for lil dave to just #accept it #but you can hardly blame me (or brOC) for wanting to give the kid a hug can you????

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leorawright · 1 year

Note

Hi! I’d like a tf2 matchup please!

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: honestly I have no fucking idea, I’m currently open to all genders lmao, all I know is that I’m probably not poly or ace

Personality: I have got the autism and my special interest has always been medical science (specifically neuroscience). This shit started from day 1 and I have anatomy textbooks that were given to me before I could read because that’s how much I loved it even when I was that small :^0 (when I was in elementary school I had no concept of what masking was, so I tended to freak people out when I would infodump and thus I became the weird kid no one wanted to talk to).

I’m very much an introvert and I can’t be comfortable or safe unless I’m by myself or with someone I closely trust. Constantly having to mask when I’m not literally in my house is so exhausting.

I love to learn new things about my special interest, and I love infodumping about it to anyone who will listen!

Hobbies: idk if this counts as a hobby but I’m studying neuroscience in college rn and I’ll hopefully be applying to med school within the next couple years! I love doing dissections in lab at school and shit like that. I also love singing and producing music (that’s actually my other special interest lol). I love parrots and I recently got a cockatiel!! He is the best!!!

Things I want in a partner:

-They would need to be ok with my bird

-I need someone who “gets” me, someone that I can infodump to and they’ll understand what I’m talking about, and have conversations about my special interest!

-I want someone who shares my cursed sense of humor

-I would need my partner to support me especially when I’m having a really hard time, or if I’m having/trying to fend off a meltdown

-This person would help me feel better when I’m insecure about myself or how I look

-I need to be able to unmask around this person without fear of being labeled as “crazy” or “weird”

-I want to partake in my hobbies with this person! (It is so hard to find people I have anything in common with holy shit)

-Ideally this person would know when to take certain things seriously but also be a dumbass with me sometimes (for the funny)

Sorry this is a lot of text, I just wanna provide you with an adequate amount of information to make a matchup adkdkkdk

Thanks so much bruv!!

Ughh this was such a hard decision but I think I have made a choice!

This may come as a surprise but I've chosen...

Demoman!

I know Medic seemed like an obvious choice but let me explain

While Medic does have birds and is interested in medicine I feel like Demo is better

Medic is more about just experimenting for fun whereas you seem like a person who does it not to harm people

Also Demo is very understanding and he's experienced enough to help you when you're having a meltdown or being insecure

When you open up to him he adores seeing your personality even if others say it's 'weird'

He adores your bird and always gives it head scritches

He's always down to be silly with you and just relax and be a little chaotic instead of serious

When you info dump to him about neuroscience he actually is really interested and is always eager to hear more

He's actually a pretty good singer and he loves making music with you

(On his own Demo does a lot of research about neuroscience so he can ask you questions and have a good conversation with you)

Finally Demo's sense of humor is broken so any strange jokes you make it is highly likely he'll start laughing at it

#tf2 x reader #tf2 demoman x reader #matchups

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cambria-writes · 2 years

Text

honestly to god the amount of shame and embarrassment i am feeling right now is unparalleled. i’m raging. i want the ground to split open and swallow me up. i’m a god damn mess lmao.

anyways here’s the actual chapter twelve!! I’m having to edit a bunch of shit because of my fuck up so I’ll probably post chapter fourteen tomorrow.

aaaaa fuck me

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader rating: M, each chapter rated invidually warings: criminal activity, swearing, reader’s probably becoming a mary-sue but who cares, reader is afab but no descriptors used, the calm before the storm, mention of suicide attempt, reader’s kind of manic actually word count: 4,458

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖛𝖊: ℜ𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔳𝔢 ℭ𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔢

“Y’know that’s actually kinda hot,” you cough, parroting what you’d been told when you had pulled out your set of lock picks.

Robin steps in before Eddie can say anything, and there’s a quick back and forth before Steve eventually replaces him in the driver’s seat, once the thing has been successfully hotwired. You let them figure out the rest on their own while you make your way to the back of the RV to sit on the bed.

‘Stuck in the back of a speeding trailer with the awning still attached after your childhood best friend hotwired it just like his male genetic donor used to’ wasn’t exactly how you would’ve imagined the latter half of your spring break to go. Then again, you hadn’t entirely anticipated dimension hopping, either, or having to deal with what might potentially be the end of the world.

Nancy had briefly caught you up to speed before the lot of you left to hijack someone’s home—and you’re desperately trying not to think about that for too long—and the entire thing left a sour taste in the back of your throat. Not just the world-endy bullshit, but the fact that Vecna slash Henry slash One had access to something you weren’t sure you could do.

Fucking divination.

You’re digging your nails into the palms of your hands when Steve peels out of Forest Hills at a speed the RV you’re all crammed in would consider breakneck. There’s so much you haven’t tried, actually. And the more you think about it, the more you think that maybe you should’ve taken the asshol up on his offer. Maybe you should’ve let the stupid lich king teach you.

Beyond the regret, though, as little as it may be, there’s a lot of contemplation. Dustin, Lucas and Eddie are chatting away, concocting some harebrained scheme probably, and with Robin and Nancy up front with Steve, you’ve got some peace of mind to think. Because thankfully, unlike her brother, apparently, Erica Sinclair is capable of recognizing when someone shouldn’t be bothered.

The idea of a phylactery had occurred to you, originally, when Eddie first brought up the concept of a lich. That even if you tried to kill him, it would just be a matter of time before he came back. What would the phylactery be, though? What could he have attached himself to so wholly and completely that he’d be willing to risk using it as a respawn point?

When you look up from where you’re sat cross-legged on the bed in the back, you open your mouth to call for Nancy. You barely mutter the first consonant of her name when you notice that she and Steve seem to be… discussing, pretty intently.

“H-hey, Robin?”

“Huh? Yeah?” Robin answers quickly, turning around and shuffling her way to you, quickly whispering apologies to the kids for getting between them. “What’s up?” She asks, letting herself fall heavily next to you.

“You went to Victor Creel’s house with the others, yeah?”

“Creepy abandoned mansion, yeah,” she confirms, nervously drumming her fingers against her thighs. “What about it?”

“Was there anything like…weird about that place? Anything that stood out?”

Robin frowns and hums for a second, turning to look down at her feet. “Something that stood out, huh…” There’s another moment of pause before she slaps her thigh and points at you. “We found the clock! The one you keep hearing, it was right there in the main hallway.”

“Okay yeah, that does stand out.” But not exactly the kind of thing someone would bind their soul to, you figure. Way too obvious and easily spotted. “Anything else? Something maybe hidden? Like, a lot better?”

Robin chuckles but nods, letting her head fall back and crossing her arms as she thinks.

“We kind of split up, so it’s hard to tell but I heard Steve screaming like a girl. Something about spiders?”

“It was a god damn black widow!” Steve shouts from the front seat, and you can’t help but stifle your laughter.

“A black widow, alright. Where was it, do you know?”

“Yeah, it was on the second floor. In the bathroom, I think? It was like, hidden under a vent in the floor ro something.” You frown and open your mouth to ask another question, but Robin excitedly flaps her hands. “Oh, oh! And there was this freaky shrine in the attic with a bunch of jars with spiders in them too!”

“Oh wooow,” you say, putting as much nasally sarcasm into it as you can. “Love that. Spiders. Awesome. Anything else?”

“I don’t think so, place was pretty run down. I mean no one’s lived there since the Creels were murdered and I don’t think ‘home to a demonic serial killer who pops your eyes from the inside out’ sells too well.”

“Yeah, probably not,” you mutter, bringing your thumb up to chew at the nail.

Something related to spiders would be way too obvious as a phylactery, right? Anyone with any kind of knowledge about Henry would be able to guess something like that. And though the grandfather clock does feel like a decently significant item, too, that’s beyond obvious. No way that someone like Vecna would use that as a phylactery, either. It’s too flammable, anyways.

You squeak in surprise when Eddy drops himself on the bed on your other side. Robin quickly excuses herself to move back up front with Steve. You’re about to pull her back and tell her to give him room, but when you glance ahead it seems like whatever discussion he was having with Nancy is over.

“What was all that about spiders?” Eddie asks, letting himself fall back on the bed with his hands behind his head. “I thought you hated spiders.”

“Ugh, god do I ever,” you groan, letting yourself fall back onto the mattress as well. “I’m just trying to figure out like. If I was a lich that ended up in a parallel dimension, right? What would I choose as the one thing to bind my soul to and make sure I can respawn?”

“You’d probably have better luck asking Wheeler,” he replies, end of his sentence fading into a yawn. “She’s the one he gave his weird psychic visions to.”

“And you’re assuming he has a phylactery to begin with.” Dustin has his has steepled in front of him on the small table, leaning out just a bit to be able to look at you. You left yourself up on your elbows to look back at him and frown.

“There’s no way he’d be able to survive in that place for as many years as he has without dying,” you state, closing your eyes for a second to try and recall the small fragments of conversation you were able to catch when you were In Between with Eleven. “He took control of that thing, right? The thing you call the mind flayer? What if that’s what turned him into whatever the hell he is now?”

“That doesn’t really matter,” Lucas pipes up, turning around in his seat and throwing his arm up against the back of the bench-like seat to look at you. “If we cut him off from the mind flayer, he won’t be able to do anything, right?”

“Yeah, and then all hell breaks loose, genius,” Erica scoffs, and you can tell without looking at her that her eyes are rolling. “If Vecna’s the only one keeping the monsters in check, we’re screwed if they all decide to do whatever they want.”

You groan and let yourself fall back onto the bed Eddie pulls a hand from behind his heat to pat yours.

“We’ll figure something out,” he says quietly, while the others continue discussing what to do about both Henry and the Mind Flayer. “You should probably take a nap while you can.”

“I just got up from a nap like two hours ago!” you whine, kicking your feet. “I feel like all I’ve been doing is sleeping. I need to think while I’m awake. Shit gets weird when I’m asleep.”

There’s a beat of silence before Eddie turns his head to look at you with a brow raised.

“How weird are we talkin’ about?”

You groan again. “Being sucked into a weird not-dimension by someone else levels of weird.” When you turn your head to look at Eddie, you almost flinch at how close your faces are. You keep your eyes on his nose; nice, safe, doesn’t give any kind of weird impression. Right? Right.

“That’s how you talked to their friend? Eleven?” he asks, quietly, and the breathiness of his voice makes you swallow thickly. You nod twice and clear your throat, turning your head back to look up at the ceiling of the RV.

“Y-yeah. Um, yeah she, uh, she said it was In Between. Whatever that means.”

“Sounds more like dreamwalking to me.”

“You’re not wrong. Would be nice to know who was doing the walking though. Me or her?”

Eddie shrugs, and somehow, without your realizing, he’s wormed an arm under your head and pulls you in. He’s extremely nonchalant about it, which you wish you could be. You try to lift yourself up on your elbows again, but he makes sure you can move, and in fact holds your head fast against his shoulder.

“Sleep,” he said, an edge in his voice even though it’s nearly a whisper. “We’re going out of down to buy guns and traps. You need your rest.”

With the rumbling of the RV, the constant bump and jostle of it, and the presence of someone warm next to you, you find that your eyes are starting to feel a bit dry and heavy.

“Fuck you,” you grumble, but close your eyes and clasp your hands over your stomach anyways.

“Sucks to sucks,” Eddie chuckles, and the last thing you register before falling into a light slumber is the feeling of fingers raking through your hair.

You wake up to the sound of the RV door slamming open and Eddie jumping out of his skin next to you. Nothing much happened—Erica making a quip to her brother, Steve shouting, everyone on edge and holding on to the nearest stationary object while Steve puts the RV in drive and bolts out of…

“Wha—where are we? What hap-happened?” you mutter, sitting up on the bed, noticing that you’d been scooted up to lie down on it proper rather than just half-laid at the foot of it. “Did you move me while I was asleep?”

“We saw Hawkins’ star basketball team,” Robin says quickly, moving past you on the bed and kneeling by the window to peek out. “They didn’t seem super stoked to see us and honestly seeing a bunch of white boy jocks out for blood in a military surplus store doesn’t give me good vibes.”

“Military surplus?” You ask, sleep still fogging your brain as you rub at your eyes. “That’s where we are—were?”

“Yeah, Dustin and I stayed in here while they shopped around,” Eddie explains shortly, and there’s a tightness in his voice you don’t like. He’s sat with his back against the wall, Robin fit snugly between the two of you before she climbs back off the bed. “Did you grab anything good?”

“Oh,” Robin starts, turning around to face you two with a grin that feels just a little bit unhinged. “We grabbed something good. Nancy found a shotgun and, get this.” She leans in, and if you weren’t in a literal ride-or-die situation with this girl, you’d be a little worried about the teeth showing in her grin. “She’s gonna saw the thing off herself. Nancy Wheeler, illegally modifying a firearm. Amazing.”

“Amazing,” you mutter back, scooting yourself up on the bed to put your back against the wall, and leaning over to let your head fall on Eddie’s shoulder. “You were right. I needed a nap. I think I need a few more naps, actually.”

“You can probably keep napping until we get there,” he says quietly. And again, there’s a warm arm around your shoulders that keeps you fixed to his side. You don’t even notice when your eyes drift shut again.

“Where… when we get where?”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. Just sleep.”

Sweetheart? That’s a new one. You wish you could analyze the speed of your thrumming heart and the wings of the butterflies in your stomach, but again, you’re unconscious before you can make too much of it.

You’re sitting on the steps to the RV while Robin and Steve prepare, of all things, molotov cocktails. Dustin and Eddie are off in the field to your left hammering nails into trashcan lids, and though you’re exceptionally doubtful of their efficiency—”Aren’t the nails just gonna pop right out the second something hits them? What’s gonna keep them from just popping out?”—they seem pretty content doing that. Max is holding onto the previously mentioned shotgun while Nancy is, indeed, sawing off the barrel as short as is probably safe to do.

You’re not doing anything at all. Rest, they said, you burnt yourself out for hours teleporting both yourself and Nancy out of the Upside Down, they insisted. Not that there’s much for you to do. Even looking off to your right at the Sinclairs, and to what even you can tell is a shit wrapping job from Lucas, you wonder what you place is here, right now.

You take a particularly long drag from the one cigarette you were able to convince Robin to let you have. You’d agreed, if only verbally, not to get involved with any of the fighting. And that had been after you’d tried to argue with both Eddie and Dustin that acting as a decoy was a stupid idea. Stupid, dangerous, reckless, pick a descriptor.

Roughhousing catches your eye, and you hear Dustin shriek about wedgies. You take another drag and hop off the steps.

“Where’re you going?” Steve pipes up, making Robin turn around almost owlishly to be able to see you.

“Something on my mind,” you say vaguely, waving Eddie down when he eventually looks at you. “DnD nerd shit I gotta run by him.”

“Ugh, have fun,” Steve says with a shudder, turning his focus back on the bottles in front of him and waving at Robin to pay attention.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this, Ed,” you say, once you’ve got him to follow you to the other side of the trailer. You keep walking a bit, though it’s more of a nervous pacing. “There’s no way this is going to be an ambush.”

“You’re thinking about it too much man,” Eddie replies easily, hands in his pockets and slightly out of breath. “It’ll be fine.There’s no way he’ll see us coming.”

“That’s the thing,” you say, a bit too loudly, rounding on him. You look around quickly before walking up to him and leaning over, clearing your throat and quieting your voice. “Did they tell you what happened with the mind flayer before? Two year ago?”

Eddie frowns and shakes his head. “They mentioned something about one of their friends being like, possessed or something, but they didn’t really… explain anything.”

“Right, Will was possessed,” you reiterate, grabbing at Eddie’s upper arm. “By the mind flayer. Whatever Will could see and whatever Will knew, the mind flayer knew, too. That’s how—” You cut yourself off before you can mention Billy. Not my story to tell, you think bitterly. “That’s how all of them almost got caught. Will was leading the demodogs right to them. If El hadn’t come back in time they would’ve been screwed.”

Eddie doesn’t speak, looks off in the distance. Slowly, he reached up to grab the hand at his upper arm to pry it off, but doesn’t let it go.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Max is cursed, Ed,” you whisper, balling your hand into a fist in his. “She’s cursed, and just last night he took a joy ride in Nancy’s head. I’m pretty sure he’s well out of mine, but can we really be sure that there isn’t some kind of—a fragment of him, in either of them?”

You can see Eddie twisting his tongue in his mouth, clenching his jaw. It’s a possibility that makes for a very grim reality; one where nothing you do matters because there isn’t a way for you to keep anything secret. There’s no way anyone is going to want to exclude Nancy from what’s going on. Nancy wouldn’t want to be excluded, if the ferocious expression she had earlier was anything to go by.

And Max…

When Eddie turns back to look at you, there’s something a little wild in his eyes. Different from last time. He looks… not feral, like this, with his hair all out of sorts and his knuckles bloodied and bruised. No, he just looks dangerous. You bite the inside of your cheek when you realize that maybe this is what everyone in Hawkins was seeing all along. Ridiculous to be scared of this Eddie; everything about him right now is about protecting people.

Not an ounce of malice.

“You got a backup plan then?”

You take a deep breath and shake your head. “I haven’t been able to come up with something that makes sense, yet, no.”

Eddie lets out a breath that’s almost a sigh and finally lets go of your hand. He lets himself fall down onto the grass to sit, cross legged, and gestures at the ground next to him for you to follow. You sit directly in front of him, hands on your knees, drumming your fingers on them.

“What do we have so far?” Eddie asks.

“We’re working under the assumption that Henry’s a lich,” you start, looking down at your hands to count on your fingers. “We know he’s a psychic kid, like Eleven. Nancy mentioned that he said something about keeping everyone he kills up in his head. Is power absorption even a thing?”

“In ADnD? Sure,” Eddie answers, leaning back on his hands and looking up at the clouds. “There’s ways to take someone else’s abilities, so I guess it’s not impossible for him to have yanked the other kids’ abilities from them.”

You stay quiet for a moment. Max had also mentioned that Henry’s, his… whatever weird mind palace he has going on had the bodies of the three teens he’d killed all strung up. You can’t help but wonder if maybe the other people he’s killed are somewhere in that psychic sanctuary, too. You shake the thought out of your head and continue.

“Right, okay. So he’s yanked abilities from kids before. He’s psychic, and somehow being shoved into the Upside Down turned him into a lich.”

“Or being in there long enough turned him into one.”

“Shit,” you mutter, bringing a hand to your mouth and frowning. “No, you’re right. Steve was choking on something when we got to your trailer in the Upside Down and I remember dreaming about them being in the tunnels. And Will…” You growl and wave your hand in front of you. “Doesn’t matter, point is that he’s acting like a lich so we should probably treat him like one. I’m still worried about the phylactery.”

“When you were with Nancy, in there,” Eddie starts slowly, and he has the impression of someone who’s trying to describe a picture while he’s still putting the puzzle together. “When Vecna got in her head, you like, froze when you touched her. Did you, y’know?” He motions vaguely at his eyes and you snap your fingers at him.

“Yeah, yeah! I did! I saw some of that!” you exclaim, slapping your knee excitedly. “Okay, okay wait. So I saw the house, and saw the spiders. Fucking hate the spiders,” you mutter under your breath, screwing your eyes shut and trying to recall more. “There’s… this weird shrine in the attic, for the spiders. There’s something—I know there’s something else there besides the jars but I can’t—it’s too, I don’t know. It was too out of focus, I can’t remember what it was.”

You let the end of your sentence trail off and start tracing patterns in the grass. “If he has a phylactery, and I’m pretty sure he does because everything else is Dungeons and Dragons related, I’m pretty sure it’s got something to do with that shrine.”

Eddie nods and frowns. “He goes up there when he hunts people, right? It would make sense if he kept it close to him there.”

“But here,” you say, putting your hand out in front of you and pointing at the back of your hand. “Or there?” You flip your hand over and point at the palm.

Eddie looks enthralled until something seems to click in his brain. He leans back from where he had, at some point, gotten very invested in the conversation and leaned into you. You lean back, in turn, frowning at him. He shakes a pointed finger at you at squints.

“You’re going somewhere with this and I don’t like it.”

“Yeah well I don’t like the idea of you attracting a swarm of bats with fucking Metallica but here we are, aren’t we.” You slap his hand away and lean back in. “Look, if you can find a way to get me that disgusting ‘double the caffeine’ soda, like as many as you can.”

“I’m pretty sure dying of a caffeine-induced heart attack is the opposite of helpful, y’know.”

You can’t help the bark of laughter that escapes you. “No! God, no, look. Doing the plane shifting shit is draining, right?” He nods. “Right. So I just figure—”

“No, nuh uh, that’s a shit idea,” Eddie cuts you off, crossing his arms. “There’s a reason you pass out when you do it too much. Your body can’t handle it.”

“When I’m starved, sleep deprived and freaked out of my mind, sure!” You exclaim, throwing your hands up. You clear your throat before lowering your voice again. “Look, it’s a—not a theory, fuck, uh. It’s a hypothesis, okay? We don’t have time to test it, I just have to trust that it’s gonna work.”

“And what exactly is your backup plan?”

“While you’re distracting the bats with Dustin and not getting yourselves killed,” you start, placing your hands back on your knees. “And while the other bozos are busy trying to blast Vecna back to whatever hellscape he crawled out of, I go looking for the spider shrine here and torch it.” You pause, and hold your hand up when Eddie opens his mouth to speak. “And if it’s not here, I’ll just plane shift and get it in the Upside Down.”

“M’hm, cool, there’s a problem with that though,” Eddie says, and flaps his hands at you to quiet down before he continues. “No, shush. Vecna’s gonna be in that attic when you go there. And then there’s Max.”

‘Let’s use me as bait’ Max. ‘It won’t matter if it goes wrong if it’s me’ Max. You swear under your breath and bite down on your lip. Vecna being in the same room you don’t really care about; provided that Sanctuary actually worked, there’s not much he can do to you.

Once he’s in Max’s head though, you can’t control that.

“Not on my own,” you whisper, and when Eddie asks you to repeat yourself, you feel your face splitting with a grin. “I can’t do it on my own, I mean—look, no one’s gonna be able to convince Max not to be the bait. She’s cursed, that’s how it is, and we don’t know whether or not Vecna’s looking through her head. But once he’s in there,” you pause, standing up and starting to pace. “Once he’s hunting her, she said something about hiding in her own head, right? Like, in a happy memory or something. I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t think that’s going to work.”

“And you have the face of someone who somehow managed to come up with an even worse idea,” Eddie says, slowly pushing himself to stand up on his feet.

“Right, okay, first of all, fuck you,” you spit, crossing your arms as you pace. “Okay, so scrap the idea of looking for the phylactery. For now. Eleven knows what’s going on, and I already ended up in that weird In Between place with her, right? So once Vecna starts hunting her I can just—”

Both you and your thoughts are interrupted when Eddie stalks over and grabs you by the shoulders.

“Hey, stop for a second,” he says, quietly, to a point where it’s got you a bit concerned. “Look, I get—I don’t understand what it’s been like for you for the past three years, okay? But you have to stop for a second.” One hand goes to grab one of your wrists to pull your hand up into view. You frown at Eddie and look at your hand when he nods at it.

You’re shaking like a leaf.

“You’re trying to throw yourself at way too many problems.”

“I can’t do nothing—”

“And I’m not telling you to do nothing,” Eddie says, letting your hand fall in favour of cupping your jaw with both hands. “I’m telling you to use that giant brain of yours wisely. You don’t need to go looking for soulbound artifacts or fighting psychic wars,” he continues, a thumb coming up to rub at your cheek.

“What else am I supposed to do, Ed?” You whisper, bringing your hands up to grab at his forearms. His hands don’t move. “I-I’ve been having these nightmares for years, and all of a sudden I can—I can do all these things, and I just, I have to do something.”

“And you can,” Eddie reassures you, and when he rests his forehead against yours, you can just barely feel his breath fanning over your cheeks. “Just, just stick with m—us, just stick with us.”

“And what, bail you out?” you huff, and Eddie snorts.

“Yeah, yeah just be our getaway driver. Best one out there. You ever heard of a getaway driver that can dimension hop?”

You laugh quietly and shake your head. You don’t risk opening your eyes yet.

“Yeah, no, not so much.” You breathe, clear your throat and lean your head back away from Eddie, “Okay. Yeah, I’ll stay with you and Dustin. Second anything goes south I’m getting us all out of there.”

“Sounds good to me.” You get a finger pat on the cheek before you put a finger up.

“I’m still gonna need that gross soda if I’m gonna survive shifting like, three people though.”

@storiesbyrhi @anothermunsonsimp @doratheignora @alovesongshewrote @averagestudent03

#eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things fanfiction #fanfiction #eddie munson fanfiction #idk man i might edit these tags later #I feel so damn dumb #ravenloft

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