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sagesilentfire · 2 months

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Autistic Toffee, thoughts?

I mean I did make this image:

But yeah, he's super fucking autistic. Like me. Canonically: (warning: references to self-harm and also oversharing my weird experiences as a chronic autism-haver)

Gets social skills enough to be manipulative about it and understand what people will do, does not get them enough to not creep out people who already are looking for an excuse to dislike him.

Like every behavior the creators gave him to make him creepy and evil just read as autistic person trying to mask to me.

Cold and emotionless? Bro has a flat affect and it just clashes with the overemotional rest of the show.

Low empathy? Autistic, and he does have his own kind of empathy, he just, like a lot of autistic people, expresses it weirdly. And seriously, the idea that a) Normative, neurotypical empathy is the only sign of good moral character and b) that Toffee lacks any version of empathy in general because he doesn't seem to care when unjust rulers or bootlicking toadies get their due, is really ableist and can go die now.

Monotone voice? Flat affect, and probably over-correcting on controlling his tone of voice too. Remember he's in Socialization Mode every time we see him, or Dealing With Mewmans Mode, which is even more tense. I bet he can and will emote via voice when alone or with people he trusts. Heck, he does it in Meteora's Lesson, when he's with the other septarians.

Ulterior motives? When you're autistic, you know that everyone has ulterior motives you can't hope to understand, including other autistic people. It's fine.

I actually headcanon he's repressed a lot of his sensory issues. I have a few that are really annoying, but I don't have another option if I want to appear in polite society and have to force myself to live with them even though they make me want to vomit, so I can see him actively choosing to repress emotional reactions to things.

He gets overwhelmed more often than you'd expect. People just don't notice, because his reaction is always to freeze up and go silent – a shutdown, the "flight and/or freeze" part of the autistic experience. This is from my own personal experience: when overwhelmed I'm either yelling and angry (around people I know and trust enough to get mad at without them hurting me) or hiding and silently self-harming (around people I don't know or trust). (When I get overwhelmed in a place I feel comfortable but don't know anyone there, I tend to get weird in public looking for someone to feel less bad with. We don't talk about those times.)

I think he was close to a shutdown during Mewnipendence Day when he saw that stupid play Star put on.

Definitely doing a shutdown after he couldn't rescue Star. Probably exiting the scene as fast as possible to go pull out some scales (fun, risk-free self-harm! warning: only septarians can do this. you will bleed if you don't have a healing factor. be safe and maybe don't self--harm it's bad for you), grit his teeth, and go find a way to rescue Star. And also send an army to take over Butterfly Castle while the wand was out. Star would be alive to learn to live with not being a princess.

Doesn't *always* know what to say. Can convince people to do things easily, but has no idea how to help other people with their emotions. His autistic ass could never be a therapist.

And then there's SAMATFOE Toffee, who has some extra Problems:

Sílthéy and Toffee work together to ensure that Toffee is as immune as possible to emotional leverage. Do anything to them, especially when they're in Business Mode, and Toffee will just sigh, shake their head, and refuse to take the bait. They may have PTSD and Autism, but have you considered: they also have severe emotional repression!

However, when they do crack, it's really bad, and potentially really dangerous. They still freeze and flee, but due to... circumstances, they could be as much of a magical superweapon as the wand, but in a completely uncontrollable way. Unlike the Butterflys, they do not make a habit of flirting with destroying the world, so instead they shove down their feelings and get their ass to therapy.

And then when their therapist advocates for expressing their emotions healthily, they go get a new therapist, probably a cognitive behavioral therapist or something (I'm JOKING, CBT works for people who are not me! It's a perfectly fine method of brain-helping, it's just my default punching bag. I'm more of an Internal Family Systems guy myself).

Rasticore is a big help. He helps them express medium amounts of emotion healthily and without having a complete (magi-nuclear) meltdown. They help him with his own meltdowns, because everyone is autistic in my world except for Mina. Rasticore finds their calm grounding.

#svtfoe #samatfoe #svtfoe rewrite #star vs the forces of evil #queue queue #my posts #about me #(because it's discussing my own symptoms)#toffee of septarsis #self harm #actuallyautistic

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skylarsblue · 1 year

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Hii! I would like to ask for Sinclair brothers with a gn s/o who struggles with an ed? Preferably anorexia, but you can make it unspecified if that'll work better for you ^^ Thank you so much and if you need any closer info, I'd be happy to help!

(Hope you're doin' alright and sorry this took so long!)

✦Struggling With An Eating Disorder✦

✦I make this a bit more subtle but please proceed with caution. If you're struggling, there are places to reach out. Including hotlines.✦

✦GN! Reader, unspecified race, height, & body type, again, proceed with caution✦ ✧Vincent; He/They, Bo; He/Him, Lester; He/Him. Bonus: Carly; She/Her, Nick; He/Him✧

✧Vincent Sinclair✧

Vincent's the most emotionally competent of his brothers, which comes with being an artist. They also understand being physically insecure, and wanting to change those aspects of themselves. Vincent will be the one to notice signs even if you haven't said anything.

He's hesitant to actually approach you with his suspicions, but his concern will eventually overtake the anxiety of being wrong. It's hard to be verbally gentle with sign language but they do their best. If you struggle to admit it and start crying or getting upset, they'll do their best to express that they aren't upset in anyway. He's just worried.

Victor was a medical doctor but had some books on mental health, which Vincent has read, and he will go back and reread them if he thinks they'll hold anything that'll help. The information might be outdated but he'll take whatever he can to ensure they know everything possible they can do to help.

Keeping up with a therapist is hard out in Ambrose, and all the brothers are hesitant about you leaving on the chance you let something slip. But, when trust has been built, Vincent will pressure Bo to let you go. If Bo doesn't take you, Lester will. You're likely to miss appointments but Vincent does their best to keep up with it.

They're not good at cooking or with food in general. They don't have a disorder but they forget to eat often. Still, he does his best to eat with you so you don't feel alone with it, assuming that's what helps. In their mind, making it more of a social things leaves less room for your mind to wander and make you feel bad. He'll even take his mask off for you.

Vincent's got a plethora of markers and paint, and they will absolutely go in on everything Bo brings into the house and cross out the calories. Even if that means painting over an entire package.

They enjoy drawing you frequently, and the way they do is always so honest and surreal. If you see his drawings of you, you might ask why he chooses you. Every time they'll respond with a genuine, from-the-heart sentiment. "You're the best muse I could have." "I want the challenge of capturing your beauty." "Every artist needs something beautiful for reference."

Vincent means it every time.

✧Bo Sinclair✧

Bo's really not emotionally intelligent. He's harsh and rough and approaches everything in life with a hardened expression. But not with you, not after you've wormed your way into his heart and made yourself at home in his ribs.

He's not gonna understand at first, not if you put it in simple terms at least. He's never had that problem. But when he sees how it affects you on really bad days, it'll start to dawn on him that it's not an easy fix. You can't just pick something up and eat it. It's a battle all the time. This is when he starts to soften up and treat it more delicately, as delicately as he knows how anyway.

If he can't find a working pen, he'll tear/cut out the calorie counts on foods & drinks. And if he's taken you out somewhere, he'll reach over and cover calorie numbers with his hand. If it's a big sign over the order counter, he'll simply tell you to go sit down while he orders. You might think Bo doesn't notice, but he'll know all your favorites by heart.

He's gonna ask you what he can do to make it easier. If you say you don't know, he'll throw out options until one seems to stick. And then he'll adopt it to his routine religiously. Forming habits is easy and he knows this. Adding another step to his general day routine is nothing for him.

Bo's hyper-protective of you. It shows in his reluctance to let you leave the town, to be involved in the process of wax figures, even climbing on the counter to grab something high up. Lester says it's the older brother in him, Vincent once called it "dad instincts". Ironic, given Bo hated his own father the most. So if he hears a single comment about your appearance from someone else, and it's not a compliment? He's immediately throwing hands.

He'll pick up photography again, a gesture he hopes silently conveys how he sees you. Every camera click and slide of polaroid film is him trying to tell you how he sees you, since he's not that good with words. He'll pin them up in the garage and certainly keeps more than one in his wallet.

Bo will rip the size tags off your clothes. But, he'll remember it, so that way he can buy your clothes. You don't have to worry if you no longer fit in a medium, large, or small. He's got it logged in his head. If he really isn't sure, he'll try to subtly measure your waist with his hands, acting out physical affection while gathering the data he needs. Just to avoid even the concept of you worrying about that letter in the back of your jeans. His physically affection will also double. Naturally, he's a horny bastard, and he'll try to show you he finds you attractive by using stuff like sex. But if you aren't up for it, or the insecurity is just a bit too much, he'll certainly settle for holding you on the couch.

And honestly? He'll bring back his old poem hobby, write you a sonnet, hoping the words on paper will translate how they do in his brain. "It's not that good but...ya know, the meanin's there." He's a bastard because it's an absolutely beautiful poem and it's definitely gonna make you cry.

✧Lester Sinclair✧

Lester's more in touch with his feelings and the emotions of others than Bo, but he's not as in tune as Vincent. Still, Lester is very observant of things like body language and voice cues. If he sees enough signs, he might not know it's an eating disorder, but he will eventually ask if you see yourself negatively. It breaks his heart when you admit it and part of him will wonder if he contributed in anyway. He's relieved when you say he hasn't, but it still pains him.

If your problems with food stem from things like childhood trauma or parental pressure, he's gonna have a murderous rage for those people, but you won't ever see it. The only Lester you see is charming lover with the patience of a saint. And terrible puns.

He'll probably talk to his brother Vincent for advice since Vincent's the one that was ever interested in mental health and psychology. He wants all the information he can get so he can support you completely. Lester thinks of himself as an idiot, but he's not gonna let that stop him from keeping you happy.

Lester rarely goes to grocery stores and tends to make all his meals from scratch. But, still, he'll cover calorie counts on anything he needs to buy in. Sometimes he'll move snacks into new containers because he couldn't find a marker and he couldn't tear that portion out. He won't even throw the package in the house trash, he'll put it in the outside one.

He drives into the city most frequently and he will absolutely go off his work route to drop off/pick you up from therapy. No matter how expensive the appointments are too. He makes decent money and he's got a pretty cheap lifestyle, but even if he didn't, it wouldn't matter. He'd simply pick up a second job to cover the cost.

Lester's cooking skills are actually rather impressive, and he eats surprisingly healthy meals. (excluding a lot of salt & using roadkill meat) If that's the kind of thing that'll help, then yeah. He'll even help you start a vegetable garden. Anything to help you and hey, acts as bonding time.

If anyone makes a single comment about your size or weight, he'll honestly kill them on the spot. Lester is the kindest of the Sinclairs, and he is the most sane, but he's not above chucking a body into the roadkill pit. If there's anything left to dispose of anyway. He'll get it done quickly & ruthlessly, then come home to you with a grin and a hug with your name on it.

Lester isn't good with words and he's not always sure if he's helping, but he makes it clear he's trying. You're his special person, if anyone's gonna make sure you know that, it's him. No matter what it is. He'll bend over backward without your request because he feels that's the bare minimum, to keep you as happy & healthy as possible.

✦Bonus✦

✧Carly✧

She understands the pressure of needing to maintain a certain weight. Society is a bitch, after all. But Carly ain't about that, and she'll support you with everything she's got. Whether it's chucking out calorie numbers or being with you for every meal. She'll do her best to encourage you to eat at least once a day, even if it's hard. And if you're struggling to the point of tears, she'll hush you and give you gentle words of encouragement. She's extremely proud of you every time you make a breakthrough.

✧Nick✧

He's an asshole a lot of the time, but he cares, he honestly does. Hearing you have that kind of struggle with your body is, well, it makes him angry. Not at you, but at the fact he can't fix it for you. So he'll speak to you softly and express his adoration for you as best he can, even if he's real rough around the edges. Even when he and his sister are on rocky ground with each other, he'll drop his pride and go to her for advice if he's left unsure what to do. Nick feels like you're the only good thing that's ever happened to him and he's fucked up enough in his life. He's not about to let you struggle with something alone.

#tw eating issues #house of wax #house of wax 2005 #bo sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair x reader #lester sinclair #lester sinclair x reader #carly house of wax #nick house of wax #slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #slasher #slasher community #slashers

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chainofclovers · 1 year

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The only problem I have is that 3×03 kind of contradicts all of Michelle's characterization in Tan Lines? I dont know how to feel about it

I never mind getting anons but I wish you weren't so I could ask a clarifying question about what you mean. 😂

Michelle's regrets over falling out of love with Ted or her genuine wish that she could change how she felt and recapture the things that made her want to stay in the marriage...I don't think any of that was an act. It's possible Michelle was already having complicated feelings about her therapist at that point, but I don't think she started dating him until much later, likely when Henry was in London for the summer.

(And while I don't think it speaks too well of Dr. Jake to date a former client, and I think it's a pretty substantial mistake on Michelle's part that she didn't come clean to Ted before letting Jake spend significant time with Henry, I think it's understandable that she'd have feelings for her former therapist. A huge problem in her relationship with Ted was that he wasn't emotionally honest with her about his problems and he was always trying to smooth over her own emotions and problems to make things right. A therapist does basically the opposite of that. We don't have enough context--yet?--to know if she was nursing a crush the whole time, or if they just ran into each other at the grocery or something and things had shifted.)

So far I'm not much of a Jake fan, both for the professional slippage and his assumption he's going to charm Michelle by impersonating Trump for a telemarketer? But in terms of these being elements of the story, I don't mind this storyline. The impersonation means the first thing Ted says to Jake in many months is something antagonistic! And Jake does seem to genuinely realize how cringe and unfortunate the moment is, and it's not his responsibility to ensure Michelle handles all the communication perfectly.

Ted has been wistfully kinda pining for this version of Michelle he once knew, this beloved wife and mother, the girl in the parking lot. I think it's interesting that Ted--a person who isn't always very good with the boundaries between personal and professional--is going to have to confront all this. An imperfection on Michelle's part that is possibly happening because she can't help who she's in love with, but that nonetheless very understandably feels like a total nightmare.

(I have no idea if this really spoke to your ask without knowing which parts of Tan Lines you feel like this storyline contradicts. The TL;DR is that I think Jake and Michelle's behavior is problematic but I don't think it makes Michelle's situation in Tan Lines retroactively unbelievable or disingenuous.)

#ted lasso #ted lasso s3 spoilers #ted lasso 3x3 #meta by me #ted lasso meta #asks #anon

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yandere-sins · 1 year

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So I thought I’d give a little life-update as there’s a lot going on at the moment and I think it’s visible on my blog as well. Maybe the positives first:

I do really like my new work, I like that I have set hours (even if I do overtime here and there) and though it got incredible stressful the last few weeks, I think the four people that work in my office space are the coolest in the whole company and I love the support I am getting, it’s something I always wanted for my work-life tbh! My dog is also doing very fine, she’s really a total sweetheart and I wouldn’t know what to do without her, and at least I, myself, am doing pretty okay-ish physically, so nothing to complain there.

Now to the negatives.

Unfortunately, my mom’s cancer returned but is quite hard to pinpoint. She went back to an even more aggressive chemotherapy and we’re hoping for the best. Honestly, I don’t wish cancer on anyone, it’s such a tough battle and even just as the primary caretaker it’s been really hard to deal with for me, luckily I have grandparents and a brother who all deal with it and help and support, so that’s good! My mental health though is suffering. It’s biting my own butt now, but I cancelled therapy to focus on work at the beginning of this year and now my therapist is fully booked, so I will have to sit out this month probably. I am telling that because that’s the reason I am struggling with concentrating on one thing for a long time, which includes writing, which explains the fluctuation of posts you are seeing, since I try to get requests and drafts done on the weekend when there’s less stress. Sadly only works like 30% of the time...

Going forward I have decided to indefinitely pause commissions. I have noticed that they put too much pressure with the deadline and expectancy on me when I am already struggling and sometimes need a day to myself. I can’t say when they’ll come back, but thank you all so much for your interest and support, it’s always a pleasure to write your ideas and I never had a bad experience with commission ♥

Good news for Mermay: it’s still happening! ... buuuut I am shortening the story I came up with. I think I was too ambitious with the three routes I teased, so I am trying to figure out how to ensure that it won’t drag out as much as Atreo’s story last year. Unfortunately, the start will be delayed some more, but we were going to celebrate Mer-June anyway, so at this point it probably doesn’t make as much difference (’:

Because the question arose a few times already, I will not be playing Honkai Star Rail. It has a few reasons, but the main one is I don’t have the time. Sorry to everyone who asked about it, but it’s just not the right time for me at the moment! ): I’ll probably be miserable again later when everyone has moved on to it and I am stuck behind but I have to make cuts somewhere ;;

I actually have some commissions and requests that I haven’t released yet, so I will try to schedule some of these in the meantime while I work out how to go about stuff. If you’ve been around for a while you probably know I like routines that’s why it’s always important for me to build them and keep them up. Other than that, I’ll probably focus on Mermay and my own writing projects which will happen rather irregularly. No guarantees on posting, sadly ):

I do realize tho that it just isn’t always possible to keep up frequency of posts and interactions I had when I started this blog, as much as it saddens me. I have to prioritze my real life before my internet presence (and I really need to not feel guilty about taking breaks from everything ever so often ;;), so if you see me vanishing for a few days, it’s just that really.

Thank you everyone who stuck around and supports this blog ♥ There’s another big milestone coming up veeery soon and I am always in awe that so many people would stay to read my silly little stories!! If you have some time and don’t mind waiting for a response, I’m always happy to chat and answer questions, so please don’t hesitate to hit me up!

Thanks everyone ♥

#Admin #Also I found a new editing program that I want to try out soon-ish #if something changes about my writing... it could be my editing ^^'#But Grammarly also now has an AI thingy and bleh #Don't really want to keep supporting it since it's also not really made for non-professional writing stuff

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probablyhuntersmom · 10 months

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"i don't mind therapy questions relating to hunter" ahh i don't really have any at the moment so i'm willing to throw it to you! here is a carte blanche to talk about any sort of hunter therapy gunk you can think of. i'm eager to hear what you have to say

Oooh very cool, thanks for this ask @lewvithur! Thanks for your patience as I've been working on it bit by bit. I could def infodump about how counselling microskills work, which all exist to aid in the main objective of therapy i.e. building rapport. And I'll explore this in the context of a therapist seeing Hunter as a client. Let me see if I can more or less sum it up without being too wordy.

The 3-year training program I was in (it was supposed to be 2 years, but worldwide Covid slowed down my internship hell of a lot), had this model in arguably our most important textbook:

It's called the hierarchy of counselling microskills, and it's arguably our fundamental guide (of the particular course I was in anyway, I'm sure there's a variety of textbooks, authors and supervisors that different training centers use) on how to achieve results in therapy sessions. In the pyramid, we work from the bottom and go upwards. The pyramid's foundation is about being sensitive towards our clients and how to listen well in order for them to feel heard and to build good rapport and trust with them.

The textbook's authors also came up with a 5-stage interview structure (Relationship—Story and Strengths—Goals—Restory—Action), that you could say is the bigger umbrella under which this pyramid is placed. The 4th stage, restorying, is particularly interesting since it involves reframing or introducing new and more helpful perspectives, especially for how a client can look at terrible things that have happened to them (this doesn't mean that they aren't allowed to say those things were and are painful to remember).

The 1st stage - trust between therapist and client - is the ultimate driver of their sessions.

Notice the word "strengths" in the 2nd stage: it's related to empowering the client by reminding them of resources they already have within themselves e.g. proactiveness, compassion, sensitivity. It's related to how the therapist doesn't supply these to the client but instead draws them out of the client in the safety of the therapy sessions.

-------------------------

Coming back to the pyramid - the rest of this post will be a little crash course on some of its levels from bottom to top.

Below are the foundations of what a therapist does, some of it overlaps with other fields like nursing and social work...

Ethics and Multicultural Competence:

Hunter spent the majority of his foundational years in the Emperor's Coven. What more, he was raised in it. I believe that in parallel with the relevant authorities investigating what happened behind closed doors in the castle, and investigating the particularly toxic culture within the Emperor's Coven...Hunter would be on his way, via therapy, towards dismantling and unlearning a lot of unhealthy practices and habits that were previously normalized and even encouraged during his years as a scout and as the Golden Guard.

His therapist would have to ethically protect him and balance out some core ethical principles e.g. encouraging him to make his own decisions, ensuring his welfare, doing no harm, and honouring commitments with him as their client. Plus be sensitive towards his cultural background. I personally doubt that Steve's therapist was also in the Emperor's Coven with him; even if they were, their hands would be tied for so much of the time or worse, they may have been encouraged to engage in malpractice, which is a possibility that disturbs me the most. I can't imagine what manner of malpractice Coven Heads such as Hettie Cutburn were getting up to. Though...it's even possible that Steve kept the therapist's existence a secret from the Coven(s).

A clear example of multicultural competence applied here is that the therapist should take note of any assumptions or biases that may pop up in their own mind, once they learn that their new client Hunter used to be the Golden Guard and is a grimwalker.

One big question here would be whether the therapist already knows in their first session that he used to be Belos's right-hand man, or that Hunter doesn't disclose this yet (it's very possible! Maybe his parents ensure that he's protected like this and is given full choice re: when he will disclose that huge piece of info to the therapist). I don't think he'd keep major info like this a secret from his therapist forever; from my perspective, if it isn't ever disclosed it would not be effective for his healing because it provides pretty much the foundational context for the difficulties he faced.

Attending Behaviour:

The program I trained in encouraged us to follow the "SOLER" formula. Sit squarely, Open posture, Lean slightly forward, Eye contact, Relaxed body language. Basically letting our clients know that we are interested to hear all that they have to share, and that we aren't closed off, unreceptive or tense in any way. There is the annoying pattern I often see in fictional media where therapists cross their legs while sitting, which is absolutely discouraged irl.

There's also the 3V's + B formula: Visual (appropriate eye contact with client), Vocal (warmth and no judgment in voice), Verbal (tracking whatever the client is saying), Body language (being yourself: clients are often pretty perceptive of how genuine a therapist is).

While the therapist should definitely sit squarely to face Hunter, there are sensitivities that I keep imagining such as getting the distance between themselves and him just right. We know that Belos has cornered him in close proximity, torsos directly facing one another:

So depending on the intensity of any given session for Hunter, the therapist might want to try a softer, more diagonal seating angle:

It matters because the therapist has to bear in mind how short a leash he was on, with Belos.

Observation Skills:

It's about picking up on the client's behaviours, observing what's going on between therapist and client, both verbally and non-verbally. Every client's story is unique, and they would have key words that lead their therapist closer to themes in their life.

"Help", "family" and "supposed" seem to be Hunter's key words.

His therapist would have to listen out for repetitions of these words and possibly other relevant words or phrases too. Along with his voice tone, posture etc and whenever any of those shift, and gently exploring those shifts. In this case, observation matters in order to pick out the things that hold a lot of meaning for the client.

With an average session lasting an hour, each session could be said to be broken down into "chapters" based on whatever the client is sharing that day. The vibes in a session can shift, e.g. when the therapist gently confronts the client, and say, the client's body language drastically changes when they start to clutch a pillow to their chest and curl up their body, to feel safer and self-soothe, putting more of their guard up.

Observation also involves looking for signs of contradiction or conflict, whether in the client's verbal story and/or non-verbal language. After all, stress is the result of such conflict or incongruity and therapy could help guide a client towards managing that stress.

Monitoring how guarded/tense/uncomfortable vs. open/relaxed/comfortable Hunter is during his sessions, would be a way to sum up this section.

It's fairly common to encounter something called a "doorknob confession" where a client opens up about something significant only in the final minutes of the session, after being nervous and reluctant to address that matter in almost the whole session. They might burst into tears suddenly, become chatty after almost complete silence, etc. We'd have to prepare for that and set the appropriate boundaries, yet tend to their pain so they are stable and equipped as needed, to leave the session.

Sudden shifts like that have happened before to him

(If you listen back to his voice here, it becomes raised, high-pitched and reflects how much pain he's in. Being distracted by the two palismen struck a raw nerve)

-------------

Next are some basic listening skills...

Questioning:

The general rules are that open questions (like those starting with "what" and "how", or instructions like "Tell me more") are for encouraging clients to open up, to talk about their emotions. We call this being "process-oriented" and it is emotion-focused. Closed questions (starting with words like "are", "is" or "were") are generally for getting info and facts, or being a bit more direct if using open questions isn't effective. This is "content-oriented", which is fact-focused/information-focused. Some questions like "where" questions are interesting since they could be either open or closed, depending on he context in which you ask them. "Where is this feeling coming from?" is open (to encourage exploring the emotional process), while "Where did X happen?" is closed and is asked in order to obtain factual info.

There's no fixed formula as to what ratio a therapist should use the open and closed questions in, since each client is unique. But it's about following the client's rhythm, behaviour and personality, getting a sense of how to lead them towards how they wish to benefit from the therapy sessions. There are general pointers, though: if a client is getting too comfortable talking about content e.g. describing events in a flat cold manner, in order to detach from and avoid emotions that they should be connecting with, the therapist would want to use more open questions to steer the session towards the client's emotional process. If a client is experiencing intense emotional flooding due to feeling intensely triggered, open questions may not achieve much to stabilize and ground them. Closed and more directive questions to get info and facts may work better to check in with them, since the client could benefit from a sense of clarity.

Hunter is no therapist, but! He is empathetic, sweetly asking a distressed Willow a closed question here, to help in reeling her back:

Hunting Palismen and Labyrinth Runners each have a fantastic example of open questions, even though Luz and Gus aren't even therapists:

Luz and Gus each ask an open question, a "what" question, which prompted Hunter to take a risk and be more vulnerable with emotions. Open questions are designed for their recipients to take ownership and do the legwork. Therapy is a chance for Hunter to experience much more of this feeling of being heard and welcomed.

On top of the above, a therapist can phrase questions as more directive or non-directive. "Tell me about what happened that day", "What happened that day?" and "Would you like to tell me what happened that day?" each have a different feel, though of course they all must be asked with a warm and open voice tone. Obviously one shouldn't be too directive with Hunter at all, since that can be too Belos-like, it'll more easily feed his deeply ingrained shame and he might see the sessions as an assessment for how well he can please the therapist (big no-no...).

There are times where I imagine one should be firm with him, but overall it is extremely important to empower him by offering him options/choices and letting him learn ownership of his newfound freedom.

Showing Empathy using Active Listening:

Involves three components: using encouragers, paraphrases, and summarizing. They would be great for Hunter since he will feel fully heard and seen, compared to being used to Belos cutting him off and dismissing him.

Encouragers are used in order to keep a client talking. Examples are the therapist nodding their head, and saying the classic "Mhm", "Right" or similar. Even the use of silence at the right times can be an encourager. Silence can be powerful and a gamechanger, since I think it's never exactly a "quiet" period: because that's when the client's having an important internal conversation with themselves via their thoughts.

Paraphrasing is basically reflecting what the client said back to them, in the therapist's own words. It is needed to "help a client complete their storytelling". It also says in the textbook that "A client who has been through trauma may need to tell the story several times", and the paraphrases of a therapist add to this repetition of the story. If e.g. a traumatized confused client is finding trouble to describe and understand what happened to them, paraphrasing from their therapist is important.

Summarizing is roughly done at the beginning, middle and ending of a session to mark "chapters/sections" in the session. It helps to structure the session, helps both client and therapist be up to speed with what has been shared so far, also to check in with the client if anything has been left out in the conversation. Doing this may also alert the client of any themes etc that might stand out to them, helping them have a "light bulb" moment.

Reflecting A Client's Feelings Back to Them:

Sometimes I tell my clients that I'm a person who holds up a mirror for them to see themselves, instead of simply dispensing easy advice for them. I'm there to empower them to feel their emotions and make their own decisions, instead of me doing that work for them.

The skill of reflecting feelings back to a client can help them get more comfortable with emotion language (examples: mad, scared, confused, frustrated, disgusted, devastated, numb), especially if they have come from an upbringing where emotional expression was frowned upon or even dangerous.

They can be encouraged to enter more depth of emotions, like digging through layers, to get closer to connecting with their pain before deep healing takes place. Sometimes they may want to stay in safer zones such as confusion, numbness or anger, and may need time before taking a bold step to connect with the hardest emotions such as shame, terror or loss.

Hunter having his feelings reflected back to him would be a good next stage beyond subplots such as Gus's efforts to help him open up in Labyrinth Runners.

In the two scenes above, there isn't emotion language yet.

But his "I'm just scared" here, a few episodes later? Tadda! Emotion language. It's a good sign of naming and owning his feelings, and of him trusting Flapjack as a safe trusted space for him to even say that. Notice that he only spoke like this with the one he trusted most: Flapjack.

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Next are the more intermediate skills...

Focusing:

This involves directing the conversation towards relevant areas, e.g. if a client has not shared enough about their family background. A therapist would have to use this skill differently with clients who have stronger and more headstrong personalities versus those who are more accommodating.

A therapist can choose from different areas to focus in more depth, depending on what they feel is best to get the client closer to their goals. Such areas include the client themselves, their main theme/issue, other people in the client's life, the client's cultural background, or what is specifically happening in the moment in the therapy session.

Empathic Confrontation and Challenging a Client:

There may be times where a client is encouraged to look at contradictions or areas in which they are stuck, which produce more stress. Such confrontation by a therapist must be gentle, it must be an invitation instead of coercion, and must make the client feel that the therapist is still rooting for them: and both can work together towards possible resolutions for those conflicts in the client.

When done right, this kind of confrontation makes room for new levels of creativity, courage and other positive qualities in the client. It's not recommended to try this out in any early stage of therapy until rapport is more solid between therapist and client. Sometimes, a client does this work and reaches this awareness all on their own, knowing how stressed they are e.g. when they express "I'm torn between X and Y".

We see this to some extent below i.e. the contradiction between the Golden Guard never being scared, versus him feeling scared in the current moment:

It shows that there is still some Golden Guard in him, but the rest is unchartered territory which is making him frustrated. He is torn between places.

Other clients may require a gentle push from the therapist to reach this place, and there's nothing wrong with that, but Hunter definitely has his moments of determination and being proactive.

-----------------

Next are what are called "influencing skills" which are usually only used in later sessions once trust between client and therapist is strong...

Reframing:

Helps to potentially generate new angles on something the client has shared. Hunter's therapist might ask him for example, "How might you bring Flapjack's gift of restoring your life, into the new things that you would like to learn?"

It's a very open question that would prompt Hunter to reflect deeply. He really needs to trust his therapist first in order for this to work, because if it's done too early in their relationship, he might be overwhelmed or intimidated. Open questions like this, where an attempt at reframing is in action, are often followed by periods of silence in the client which is completely normal. It would afford Hunter a very important amount of headspace to have an inner dialogue with himself.

Self-Disclosure:

May be used depending on the difference in power between therapist and client, but it has to be used with particular caution. It'll more likely be used if the client is from a minority group, or if the age gap and life stage between therapist and client is wider.

While I can't share details of the toughest case I've handled so far in my career, I'll say that this skill was needed for the first breakthrough to happen with that client and earn their trust.

Safe to say that Hunter's therapist might utilize this skill more than in the average IRL therapy session: because the Isles would be experiencing collective grief while rebuilding is taking place. Belos was happy to have genocide on his list, after all. And Hunter was highly isolated growing up which puts him in a very vulnerable position.

Immediacy:

A bit of a wild card skill. It is risky but in some cases, may be the best way to repair/enhance a conflict between therapist and client, shortly before the client might decide to never come back to further sessions.

This skill overlaps a bit with confrontation/challenging above: because it is also used to point out contradictions in the session, but the distinguishing feature of immediacy is it's about something that's happening in the current moment and which has happened a few times e.g. a client's suddenly clenched fists, or them avoiding a certain topic.

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A therapist has to draw upon multiple frameworks per session, which would have to work together like a nicely oiled machine, and be prepared for any sort of shift or development from the client's end. For example, affirming the client's strengths at regular intervals throughout the session, and helping the client take note of their resources so that it's not just about the negative stuff i.e. client sharing unsavoury details and experiencing unpleasant feelings in session.

Intuition and instinct combined with experience and these skills...all make up the therapist's personal style of conducting therapy, which is refined over time. All this translates into the treatment that Hunter's therapist would provide for him, knowing when to invite him into exploration mode, to be curious about his pain as opposed to shutting it out

versus slowing him down and grounding him when an emotional flashback sends him into a flurry

Thank you for the ask - it gave me the opportunity to geek out like this! :D

#loz's ask box #loz writes a meta #hunter goes to therapy #toh hunter #huntlow #the owl house #ahahaha as usual this got lengthy

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nestasgalpal · 2 years

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Hi! I recently read a post where the OP sort of lists why she relates to Nesta. And I think anti-nestas have missed that point completely. They can't grasp how Nesta could possibly be relatable. So I thought I'd ask, has there ever been a scenario IRL where you felt like you were Nesta? If not, that's cool too. Liking her for her badassery alone is enough but I'm just curious if there's an IRL reason. #IAmNesta

Okay, long answer. Here I go:

I relate to Nesta in the sense that I deal with absolutely everything in an extremely private way. I don't share my feelings until I've already processed them (which takes me forever), I don't ask for advice, I don't ask for help and even when those things are offered to me, I have a hard time accepting them.

Just like Nesta, my reaction to almost everything is isolating myself from the rest, and working on my own to block it. Like, I won't even work on my feelings or intrusive thoughts, I do what my therapist calls "anesthesia", where I simply block things and refuse to acknowledge them. I pretend they don't exist. I think Nesta does the same, but the kind of stuff she is bottling up is obviously of a different magnitude than what I deal with. She is a fictional character!!

We have known since the beginning, because Feyre told us, that Nesta mourned the death of their mother like nobody else. We were told as well she was the one who suffered the most from the loss of their fortune. We then learned that Nesta is a victim of child abuse, both physical from her grandmother and psychological from basically all the adults in her life. We discover that she was groomed her entire childhood and brainwashed into thinking she must marry a prince to ensure the family's future. That's where the people in her life told Nesta her worth as a person was: in her ability to marry. And after accepting such a thing and growing up enduring that kind of abuse, all of a sudden they lose their status, everything she has learned to excel at isn't useful anymore, and apparently she did all that for nothing.

I think her anger is reasonable. I understand her because when I'm unable to understand my own emotions I become angry as well. In my case, I'm angry with myself, not the world or other people, but to others I seem more short-tempered than I usually am. From outside we are regarded as petty or unreasonably unpleasant because our attiture comes "out of nowhere", but it's our own fault, because we won't tell people about what we are going though.

What Nesta did wrong was allowing it to harm her relationship with her sisters, who were blameless. She was I think 14 when they moved out and into the cottage (right after she refused to marry the duke, which probably added to the frustration, although a 14y/o shouldn't have been in that position at all). Their father did nothing, and Nesta simply had never learned how to deal with things in a healthy way, so she lashed out. I'm sad we never got an explanation as to why she was protective of Elain and not Feyre. I personally came to the conclusion it was because her mother used to talk to her about Elain like she was a dumb but pretty girl, and perhaps Nesta wanted to allow her to keep her apparent bubbliness, the protection from the outside world she never got. It could also be because she thought Elain, being the prettiest, still had a chance to find a good match, while she considered herself and Feyre hopeless.

What I respect from Nesta, maybe because it happens to me as well, is that she is aware of how her actions affect others (again, we are on different levels lol). She knows she is hurting Feyre, and she hates that about herself. Perhaps she doesn't do the same thing to Elain because, while Feyre clearly has no issue fighting back, Nesta assumes Elain couldn't, and the damage would be greater??? The thing is that she never asks Feyre to understand her reasons. Does that make sense? Like, she is aware of how horrible she is being, and if Feyre wanted to cut ties with her, she wouldn't blame her. In fact, when Feyre wants to go back to save Tamlin, Nesta encourages her to go and be happy. She knows Feyre desserves better than a life with her in it.

Nesta won't get upset and ask her sister to be more understanding, which I think is better than thinking she is entitled to other people's compassion and patience. As I see it, that's why when they get their money back she is willing to give Feyre anything she needs, even if helping fae is considered treason. Because she feels guilty and believes she owes Feyre for putting up with her and not leaving. In my opinion, Feyre refusing to give up on her only makes Nesta feel worse about herself.

I don't know, I liked that she is not delusional about her toxic behavior, and that when she pushes people away, she doesn't expect them to fight back to stay in her life. She never demands others to empathize with her, and after lashing out, accepts whatever they decide to do. Because as someone who struggles to allow people in or accet help, I would never expect people to put me before their own mental health, and that's where I relate to her.

I saw that being the main issue between Feyre and Nesta after ACOWAR. Feyre will fight forever to have the sister she wants. Nesta sees it differently. Nesta thinks "if Feyre doesn't want to put up with me, she can disappear from my life, I won't blame or resent her for her choices." But Feyre is so convinced she wants Nesta in her life, she won't stop trying. And that insistence is hurting both. Nesta can't fit into what Feyre wants, and feels guilty because she still feels in debt with her sister, but can't give her what she wants. She can't fit into Feyre's life as she is, and the chance of not being in the life of her sister at all is taken from her. She MUST be in it. Feyre goes to the extreme to prevent Nesta from leaving her... but there is still no room for her if she doesn't change herself. Seeing things won't work, Nesta wants out of it. Feyre wants to force her to stay... hence the bribery to have her at the birthday party that only made both miserable, the intervention, the imprisonment, etc. Nesta would rather be rejected by her sisters than have them hate her, because she knows herself and knows she will constantly let them down. And I relate to her for that.

#nesta #nesta archeron #nesta acotar #pro nesta #feyre acotar #feyre #feyre archeron #elain archeron #the archeron sisters #a court of silver flames #a court of thorns and roses #acotar #acosf

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kalamity-jayne · 9 months

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If I may ask, how do I come out to my homophobic family in the future? I have told no one in person that I'm a GNC lesbian, except for my therapist and a handful of friends at school. It's a scary thought and as dumb as this request seems, I just need some reassurance and advice. Thanks, Miss Jayne 💛

Hello dear! Apologies for my extremely slow response! I hope I’m not too late with this advice!

First off, your request is absolutely not dumb! So, my first piece of advice: Be kinder to yourself. We all deserve to be supported in times of need and there should be no shame in seeking it from your community. What you’re about to do is no small thing, even for those with supportive families!

Now, as always, I have to give give the caveat that I don’t have the full context of your situation so there may be flaws in the advice I give but you are of course welcome to follow up with me in the notes and we can have more of a back and forth.

Without further ado, lets get into it.

I am so sorry that your family is homophobic, whether their bigotry is quietly casual or openly hostile, they are hurting you.

You deserve better!

Now, before we can address the question of how to come out to your family it's important to ask yourself whether you should come out to them at all. According to your blog header you're a minor and that unfortunately means your parents or legal guardians (for the time being lets table the issue of siblings) have a good deal over power over you. DO NOT COME OUT TO YOUR FAMILY OR ANYONE ELSE IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMPLETELY SAFE WITH THEM! If you were an adult I'd maybe say proceed with coming out but because you're a minor you shouldn't out yourself unless you are reasonably sure it wouldn't result in violence, getting kicked out of your house, having money for college withheld, or unfair restrictions on your freedom (such as who you're allowed to be friends with), etc etc.

You need to step back and look at the bigger picture. Take your time to consider all of the angles and determine when you'll achieve full independence from your parents. Is it simply a matter of turning 18? When will you be able to move out and live on your own terms? Do you need them to pay for college? At what point will you no longer need them for anything? Independence here is when your parents can no longer materially affect the arc of your life. Once you've figured out where that threshold is, break down the steps and milestones you need to get there. Then you just have to keep your head down, stay out of trouble, focus on school and get good grades, save as much money as you can, and take every step you can to ensure you can to be free of them as soon as possible and never ever take your eyes off that prize.

Try to remember that the time between your current age and when you reach legal adulthood is going to go by fast. It may be hard to believe that now because you're young and very much in it but one day you will wake up with another decade or two under your belt and these teenage years will feel like a short but formative blip. Having said that, how do you maintain your sanity in the meantime? Find the people and places where you can safely be yourself! Got a friend who's gay or an ally and their whole family are proud diehard LGBTQ allies? Think of them as your surrogate family and spend as much time there as you can. Is there a queer safe space the kids at your school like to hang out? Go frequently! Do whatever you have to do to survive so long as it doesn't come at the cost of your own well being long term.

Now, let's say a few years have passed and you are officially free and independent. How to come out.

Coming out to unsupportive family is a minefield. However, especially once you've become an adult, you have a very good sense of where those landmines are which means you can probably predict and anticipate how they'll react which again will mitigate any potential harm to you because you saw the hit coming and were ready for it.

The most important thing is figuring out the shape of your boundaries and asserting them without flinching. Know your triggers and who's really good at getting under your skin, and plan out what you're going to say to assert your boundary ahead of time. For example: Whenever I talk to my parents they inevitably want to discuss the trans news of the day and let's be real, that news is usually very unpleasant and as soon as I'm done talking to them I tend to spin out in emotional distress because their attempts at virtue signaling are a reminder of how they rejected me as a nascently trans teenager. So now whenever my parents try to discuss trans issues I shut them down by saying, "I don't want to talk about that stuff with you cause I see it and live it everyday."

That brings me to the next aspect of being prepared. Set your self up for success. Don't attempt these conversations when you're not in the right headspace for them. Don't have the conversation at a time/place when/where you'll be distracted and remove any distractions that maybe present or come up. Make sure you're comfortable and do whatever you have to do to reduce the pressure of the situation, such as writing out what it is you want to say ahead of time, maybe even practice with friend.

Because your family is homophobic, I strongly recommend coming out to them over the phone (again, only works when you're fully independent). This way you will be safer and more secure in yourself and you can have an ally there with you, which I also strongly recommend doing. Whoever is in your corner, bring them in because their presence will give you confidence, and if you get hurt by your family they are there to hold you immediately and help you process the conversation when it's over. Do not hesitate to reach out to your people out of some misplaced concern that you'd be bothering them True friends will never be bothered or put out by a call for support. Real friends will be happy that you reached out to them for help.

Now comes the bitter pill I'm afraid. Because your family is homophobic and likely to react like a bunch of shit-asses, you have to be prepared to cut some or all of them out of your life completely. If they are unwilling to change and accept you for who you are, then you need to protect yourself from their toxicity. People are fond of saying, "you can't pick your family" and "family is everything," but I call that load of bs. Is your family's love really love if it's conditional on you living a lie? Don't fall for the hallmark channel nonsense about families and parents that our culture is constantly forcing down our throats because love is a two way street and you are under no obligation to maintain relationships with people who reject you and treat you like garbage. This is yet another reason why I would wait until you're an independent adult. Cutting out your family of origin isn't so bad when you've built a chosen family around yourself first.

I hope this advice was helpful and please feel free to follow up in the notes. Also, know that I'm rooting for you. Everyone reading this is rooting for you. Just hang in there a little longer cause freedom is just around the corner.

Sincerely,

❤️Mother Calamity❤️

#Mother Calamity #ask/answer #advice #lgbtqia #coming out

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 10 months

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tw medical abuse, panic attacks

I have had a really bad experience with a doctor, which resulted in me leaving his office half-way through, and since then I am struggling with visiting any doc, even other kinds of.

It wasn't that bad right after, I visited other docs and told them "I have anxiety" but they never treated me really well. Some experiences where neutral, some bad, but none had given me back the trust in doctors. And now (4 years later) I can't visit any doctor anymore.

I have stuff to check and to get done, but I can't get myself to visit a doctor. Even thinking about it gives me panic attacks.

I have wasted hours, thinking about how it might be going and idk. I don't fear a bad outcome or another bad experience. I fear that I might get another panic attack half-way through and won't be able to leave and will have to bear it.

You know, I've spent so many more hours thinking about it, panicking, then it would take to check all of my issues. And that makes me real disappointed in myself and I feel trapped. You know, I could have done it already! For years! I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore, if I would've been braver in the past! I wasted so much time worrying, but still, I can't overcome it.

Most time I am okay but sometimes there's this intrusive thought "I still need to get X done" and then I get psychosomatic pain in that area and my stress goes up and I have another anxiety attack. More during the last months, because the heat adds into my general stress level.

The stuff is not urgent but knowing, even if it would be urgent, I couldn't go to a doctor, makes me anxious. And if I would finally do it, the intrusive thoughts would stop so, I really want to. I want to stop having to think about it all the time and worrying, and being angry with me for not being braver. But idk how.

Hi anon, I'm so sorry for the abuse you have suffered in the medical community and deeply empathize with trying to cope with the resulting anxiety from it. Without attempting to come across as diagnosing, or "planting an idea", I would encourage you to discuss your symptoms with a therapist - perhaps online vs in person if that might help alleviate some of the anxiety? - if anything so they might help validate your experiences, as well as discuss a treatment plan tailored for your needs (perhaps this is anxiety, perhaps this is PTSD, or something entirely different, and you deserve to discuss with a professional what your options are for managing your symptoms). I did find two articles (one related to handling medical anxiety, and coping with symptoms in general), and of course we have our page of coping/grounding resources as well. Finally, my only other possible suggestion might be to consider inviting along a trusted individual for moral support for your next appointment. Someone who might help be an emotional support, distraction, but can help encourage you to advocate for yourself, or even for you, if you find yourself becoming overwhelmed (though of course, discuss beforehand what you would like their support to look like for potential ground rules/boundaries). Afterwards, it could be a wonderful way to reward yourself for the mental labor of making it through a difficult moment by going out afterwards with them and doing something fun for you both? If you're not comfortable inviting something along, each medical clinic should have a patient advocate on site (though perhaps good to call ahead to ensure they are working at the time of your appointment), and share that you would like to discuss the option of having them in the room with you for similar support. Regardless, what happened to you should never have, and you deserve medical treatment when it is necessary and I do believe there are supports that might help with that as you move forward along your healing journey. I wish you well during the process, - Mod Kat

#trauma talks #medical abuse #mod kat

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

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Hi there! Hope this finds you well.

After some time reading and absorbing the essence of MBTI material I've come to the conclusion that I'm most definitely INFJ.

So, I've dealt with a pretty traumatizing and unstable childhood. Loads of bullying (that for most was prly normal, but for me built up a rage and anxiety that I'm still tripping over and under as I release and try to let go of). I have the Ni-Ti loop really bad. And I can see how it has grown over time and all the instances that lead me to this state of being. The foundation being that my true nature could not have been supported in an unstable household...which lead to...everything else...

It's incredibly imprinted into my identity. And with this new perceptive structure of such a loop...I feel like it's sticking to me by way of this sliver of a dark entity of my own creation within me.

I'm paranoid of people's intentions, mostly. I go through actual loops of analysis of their intentions and possible structures of past and current events in my life, and possible outcomes. I am cold, I won't budge even though I know exactly what to do in the moment to create alliances, forge harmony, and connect with those "I just Know" are correct for me. I don't know how to slam on the breaks and just organize my proper expressions. I do so horribly in groups of people and begin to short circuit. I'm sometimes incredibly seemingly selfish, but I'm just malfunctioning 💔💜💙

It's crazy, I have a few forces in me, and this loop has taken precedence for over 20 years. I've destroyed so much (while also creating exquisite experiences for myself and others).

I am seeing a therapist. But if you have anything to impart on the Ni-Ti loop (mine being of excessive tornadic volume) and how to get off this ride...would be truly amazing.

(Yes my mind is running on chopped up Run-On sentences. I love Run-Ons, especially chopped)

Thank You,

And sending you my best!

-AC

I am sorry you went through those things and had such a traumatic experience that has caused you to lose touch with an essential part of yourself. The only way to break a loop is to discover what Fe is and connect to it, by choosing to face your fears and connect to others. You need to turn your analysis inward and determine WHY you are being disagreeable and refusing to connect to others, what fears are motivating your behavior, and what you are getting out of it that ensures you keep doing it. No one does anything if there is no "reward" in place for doing it -- even a perverse one such as feeling proud about disconnecting from others will do.

If paranoia is driving you -- what does that tell you about your view of the world? Do you assume that everyone is out to get you, or even that they are thinking about you all the time? (They aren't.) Some people are out for themselves, yes, but others have good intentions. If you are a Ni-dom, you can learn to trust your ability to tell the difference between them, rather than keeping everyone at a distance and assuming the worst of them.

Proper Fe development means learning to care about other people's feelings and emotions and needs, not just mine; it means turning off yourself so that you can dial into them and 'hear' what they are truly saying to you; it means allowing yourself to be touched by their feelings, thoughts, ideas, and dreams. It means looking for solutions that benefit everyone in the group and focusing on what you have in common with someone rather than what separates you. It's learning to see humans collectively as "we" -- we all affect each other, we need each other to survive, and things should serve a purpose in how they benefit humanity on the whole. Learning Fe development means bringing down your walls and barriers and allowing yourself to take risks, becoming more connected to your own feelings in addition to those of those around you, and practicing Fe on people with whom you feel safe -- opening up about your thoughts and feelings in order to better process them. It means being receptive to others and not closed off, which requires practice and a desire to let someone else affect you on an emotional level. It's scary, but worth doing.

#question #mbti

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friedhealth01 · 1 day

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Staying Healthy During Pregnancy: A Guide for Expectant Mothers

Pregnancy is a remarkable journey filled with excitement and anticipation. As your body nurtures a new life, it's essential to prioritize your health and well-being to ensure a healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery. This guide provides valuable insights and practical tips for expectant mothers on how to stay healthy throughout their pregnancy.

1. Prenatal Care:

Regular prenatal visits with your healthcare provider are crucial for monitoring your health and the development of your baby. These visits allow for early detection of any potential complications and ensure timely interventions. Follow your doctor's recommended schedule for check-ups, ultrasounds, and screenings.

2. Balanced Nutrition:

A healthy diet is the foundation of a healthy pregnancy. Focus on consuming a variety of nutrient-rich foods, including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low-fat dairy products. Ensure adequate intake of essential nutrients like folic acid, iron, calcium, and iodine, which are crucial for your baby's development. Consult your doctor or a registered dietitian for personalized guidance on your dietary needs.

3. Hydration:

Staying hydrated is vital during pregnancy. Aim to drink plenty of water throughout the day to support your increased blood volume and amniotic fluid production. It can also help prevent constipation, a common issue during pregnancy.

4. Regular Exercise:

Moderate-intensity exercise is generally safe and beneficial during pregnancy, unless advised otherwise by your doctor. Engaging in regular physical activity can help improve your mood, reduce fatigue, and maintain a healthy weight. Consider activities like walking, swimming, or prenatal yoga, which are gentle on your joints and muscles.

5. Adequate Rest:

Listen to your body's signals and ensure you're getting enough rest. Fatigue is common during pregnancy, especially in the first and third trimesters. Take short naps during the day and prioritize a good night's sleep.

6. Managing Stress:

Pregnancy can be a stressful time, but finding healthy ways to manage stress is important for both you and your baby. Engage in relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or prenatal yoga. Seek support from your partner, family, or friends, and don't hesitate to talk to a therapist if needed.

7. Avoiding Harmful Substances:

Completely abstain from alcohol, tobacco, and illicit drugs during pregnancy. These substances can have serious adverse effects on your baby's development. Additionally, be cautious about consuming caffeine and certain medications. Consult your doctor before taking any medication, even over-the-counter drugs.

8. Managing Common Discomforts:

Pregnancy often comes with various discomforts like morning sickness, heartburn, back pain, and swelling. Talk to your doctor about safe and effective ways to manage these symptoms. Simple measures like eating smaller, more frequent meals, wearing comfortable shoes, and using pregnancy pillows can often provide relief.

9. Educating Yourself:

Empower yourself with knowledge about pregnancy, childbirth, and infant care. Attend prenatal classes, read books and articles, and ask your doctor any questions you may have. The more informed you are, the more confident you'll feel throughout your pregnancy journey.

10. Trust Your Instincts:

You know your body best. If you experience any unusual symptoms or have concerns about your pregnancy, don't hesitate to contact your healthcare provider. Trust your instincts and seek medical attention promptly if needed.

By following these guidelines and prioritizing your health, you can enjoy a healthy and fulfilling pregnancy, ensuring the best possible start for your little one. Remember, every pregnancy is unique, so tailor these recommendations to your specific needs and always consult your doctor for personalized advice.

#Pregnancy health

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theblissmassage · 2 months

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Incorporating Massage Into Your Fitness Routine

Many people think that massage is for those who are indulged in heavy physical activities. But the reality is different. Physiotherapists say that body massage is important for everyone, whether you have a sedentary lifestyle, moderately exercised person, or a senior citizen.

Why is it essential to search for a good massage center that offers Body massage in colaba? It is because massage keeps you fit, prevents many problems from becoming a roadblock, and manages vitality. Let’s understand a few important aspects of why it should become a daily routine.It prevents injuries

Regular massage reduces the possibility of getting injured through the daily fitness routine. When a person follows the rhythm of a regular workout and builds up a systematic training plan, you must schedule a massage as a routine part of the system. Thus, your muscles do not get stretched. They do not get stiffness or tension. Your body is protected from undergoing any further damage.

The best Body massage in colaba will make you healthy and fit.It reduces inflammation

When you exercise, you feel good. It is because exercise not only brings physical benefits, but it also secretes some hormones that increase happiness and enthusiasm. However, it is possible that muscles and tissues may get inflamed.

A structured body massage will reduce inflammation and pain, and it ensures that your fitness journey should not get halted by unpleasant reasons like pain, and discomfort.It improves performance

Body massage brings several benefits, including stronger muscle performance and flexibility. It is a time between workouts in which your body recovers and grows stronger. Thus, you will get closer and closer to your fitness goals.

A massage therapist offers Body massage in colaba that can loosen up the knots and kinks in your muscles. It helps you to stretch out ligaments and muscles. It limits stiffness and improves flexibility.It improves mental health

As we said before, exercise improves mental health. Body massage also works in the same manner. The relaxation and stress relieving effect provided by Body massage in colaba make you comfortable. This is because massage reduces the level of cortisol throughout the body. It is paired with another hormone known as endorphins. It improves mental as well as physical health. Speedy Recovery

Body massage increases the speed of recovery caused by trauma, workouts, or illness. Routine massage will bring faster turnarounds. You will have to wait for less time to repair your muscles.

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healthy444 · 3 months

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How do I stay healthy and fit while working from home?

Staying healthy and fit while working from home requires a combination of physical activity, healthy eating habits, good posture, and mental well-being. Here are some tips to help you maintain a healthy lifestyle while working remotely:

Establish a Routine: Set regular working hours and stick to them as much as possible. Having a routine can help you manage your time effectively and ensure you dedicate time for exercise and breaks.

Create a Dedicated Workspace: Designate a specific area in your home for work that is comfortable, well-lit, and free from distractions. Avoid working from your bed or couch to maintain good posture.

Take Regular Breaks: Schedule short breaks throughout your workday to stretch, move around, and give your eyes a rest from screens. Use techniques like the Pomodoro Technique, which involves working for 25 minutes and then taking a 5-minute break.

Incorporate Physical Activity: Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise most days of the week. You can try home workouts, yoga, walking, or cycling. Even short bursts of activity throughout the day can add up.

Use a Standing Desk or Sit-Stand Desk Converter: Alternating between sitting and standing while working can help improve posture, reduce back pain, and increase energy levels. If possible, invest in a standing desk or a sit-stand desk converter.

Stay Hydrated: Keep a water bottle nearby and drink plenty of water throughout the day. Staying hydrated is essential for overall health and can help improve concentration and productivity.

Healthy Snacks: Stock your kitchen with nutritious snacks like fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds. Avoid keeping unhealthy snacks within easy reach to resist temptation.

Mindful Eating: Take regular meal breaks away from your workspace and practice mindful eating. Pay attention to what you're eating and savor each bite, which can help prevent overeating and promote healthier food choices.

Prioritize Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine and create a comfortable sleep environment free from distractions.

Manage Stress: Practice stress-reduction techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness exercises. Set boundaries between work and personal time to prevent burnout.

Social Connection: Stay connected with colleagues, friends, and family through virtual meetings, phone calls, or social media. Maintaining social connections can help reduce feelings of isolation and boost your mood.

Seek Professional Help if Needed: If you're struggling with maintaining a healthy lifestyle or experiencing mental health issues, don't hesitate to seek support from a healthcare professional or therapist.

Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life to prevent overworking. Define specific work hours and stick to them, avoiding the temptation to check emails or work outside of designated times.

Practice Ergonomics: Invest in ergonomic furniture such as an adjustable chair and desk to maintain proper posture and reduce the risk of musculoskeletal problems. Adjust your workstation to ensure that your screen is at eye level, and your wrists and arms are in a comfortable position while typing.

Get Natural Light: Position your workspace near a window to maximize exposure to natural light. Natural light can help regulate your circadian rhythm, improve mood, and enhance productivity.

Stay Active Throughout the Day: Look for opportunities to incorporate movement into your daily routine, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator, doing household chores, or going for a walk during breaks.

Schedule Regular Exercise Sessions: Plan your workouts ahead of time and treat them as non-negotiable appointments. Whether it's before work, during lunch, or after work, find a time that works best for you and stick to it consistently.

Variety in Exercise: Mix up your exercise routine to keep it interesting and prevent boredom. Try different types of workouts, such as strength training, cardio, flexibility exercises, and outdoor activities.

Stay Informed but Limit Screen Time: While it's important to stay informed about current events, excessive screen time can lead to eye strain, fatigue, and disrupted sleep. Schedule specific times to check news and social media, and consider using screen filters or blue light-blocking glasses to reduce eye strain.

Practice Gratitude and Mindfulness: Take a few moments each day to reflect on things you're grateful for and practice mindfulness techniques to reduce stress and promote overall well-being.

Stay Hygienic: Maintain good hygiene practices, such as washing your hands frequently, sanitizing commonly touched surfaces, and following recommended health guidelines to prevent the spread of illness.

Stay Positive and Flexible: Embrace a positive attitude and adaptability to navigate challenges that may arise while working from home. Focus on what you can control and find solutions to overcome obstacles.

By incorporating these tips into your daily routine, you can stay healthy, fit, and productive while working from home.

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kamran9 · 3 months

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Conquering Your Weight Loss Journey: A Practical Guide for Americans Over 50

Do you feel like the odds are stacked against you in your weight loss journey? You're not alone. For many Americans over 50, losing weight and keeping it off can feel like an uphill battle. Between changing hormones, a slower metabolism, and busy life schedules, it's easy to feel discouraged.

But here's the good news: achieving a healthy weight and feeling great at any age is absolutely possible. This guide will empower you with practical, actionable strategies specifically tailored for Americans over 50 like yourself.

Understanding Your Changing Body:

As we age, our bodies naturally go through changes that can impact our weight management. Here are some key factors to consider:

Metabolism: As we age, our body composition changes, and our basal metabolic rate (BMR) – the number of calories we burn at rest – tends to decrease. This means we need to be mindful of our calorie intake to maintain a healthy weight.

Hormones: Menopause for women and changes in testosterone levels for men can lead to increased body fat, especially around the abdomen.

Embracing a Holistic Approach:

Crash diets and fad exercises might promise quick fixes, but they rarely lead to sustainable weight loss. Instead, a holistic approach that addresses both your physical health and mental well-being is key. This means focusing on healthy habits you can stick with for the long term.

Building a Sustainable Healthy Eating Plan:

Focus on whole, unprocessed foods: Prioritize fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein sources, and healthy fats. These foods are packed with nutrients your body needs to stay energized and function optimally.

Don't demonize any food group: Aim for moderation and balance. Occasional treats are fine, but ensure they're not your primary source of calories.

Read food labels carefully: Be mindful of portion sizes and hidden sugars and unhealthy fats.

Cook at home more often: This way, you have greater control over the ingredients and portion sizes.

Stay hydrated: Drinking plenty of water throughout the day can help you feel full and curb cravings.

Making Movement a Priority:

Regular physical activity is crucial for weight loss and overall health. Here are some tips:

Find activities you enjoy: From brisk walking and swimming to dancing and gardening, choose activities you actually look forward to doing.

Start gradually and increase intensity over time: Listen to your body and gradually increase the duration and intensity of your workouts as you get stronger.

Strength training is key: Incorporating strength training exercises helps build muscle mass, which can boost your metabolism and help you burn more calories even at rest.

Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise or 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity exercise per week: Even small changes in your activity level can make a significant difference.

Managing Stress and Sleep:

Chronic stress and sleep deprivation can negatively impact your weight loss efforts. Here's how to manage them:

Practice relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, meditation, yoga, and spending time in nature can all help reduce stress and improve sleep quality.

Prioritize good sleep hygiene: Establish a regular sleep schedule, create a relaxing bedtime routine, and ensure your bedroom is dark, quiet, and cool.

Seek professional help if needed: If you're struggling with chronic stress or sleep issues, don't hesitate to talk to your doctor or a therapist.

Staying Motivated and Celebrating Milestones:

Set realistic goals: Aim for gradual, sustainable weight loss, like losing 1-2 pounds per week.

Track your progress: This can be through a food journal, fitness tracker, or simply keeping a note of your measurements. Seeing progress can be a powerful motivator.

Find a support system: Surround yourself with people who support your health goals and celebrate your successes.

Focus on non-scale victories: Celebrate improvements in your energy levels, strength, and mood, not just the numbers on the scale.

Reward yourself for reaching milestones: Treat yourself to something non-food related when you achieve your goals.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. There are countless resources available to support you. Talk to your doctor, register for a nutrition class, or join a weight loss program designed specifically for mature adults.

Embrace a positive and empowering mindset. Focus on taking small steps towards a healthier you, and celebrate your achievements along the way. Remember, with dedication and the right tools, you can achieve a healthy weight and feel fantastic at any age.

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