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curseofhecate · 1 year

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I never was the best to you

Sirius Black x Female!Reader, Subtle Remus Lupin x Female!Reader.

In which you and Sirius break up and you realise you were never the best to him.

1.6k

tw: angst, depression, not eating, suicidal thoughts (kind of), my shitty writting.

This imagine is based off of the song 'Best' by Gracie Abrams. I'm going to be honest 'Good Riddance' destroyed what was left of my mental health. Also this is my first attempt writting something so sorry if it sucks (because I'm pretty sure it does).

The first week after things between me and him ended wasn't easy. I didn't have the energy to get out of bed, the thought only exhausted me. I skipped most of the day's meals, not only becasue I didn't have an appetite but I wanted to avoid him at all costs. Which meant avoiding the Great Hall and being absent from both breakfats and dinner.

Lily would offer bring food in my dorm for me after dinner.

I knew she was worried about me. Both her and the Marauders, minus Sirius of course, had made many fruitless attempts to get me to do something productive, or do anything at all. James went as far as saying I could borrow his invisibility cloak, which was his most prized possesion, so that I could walk around the castle without him noticing.

Remus offered to take me to 'The Three Broomsticks' on a Saturday afternoon, which was by far their busiest day, even though he hated crowded places. Lilly cancelled her date with James just so me and her, along with Marlene, Dorcas and Mary, who also ditched their plans for me, could hang out all day. "Think of it as an 'Only Girls’ day. No boys allowed" she had said.

I had turned every single one of their offers down.

I must really have sucked at being a friend back then.

They gave me many chances to move on and to forget, to feel alive again. But I felt like I couldn't let go of him just yet so I decided to stay dead, let the days pass without a meaning in them. It was too soon.

The one time Lily managed to get me out of bed that week was on a gloomy Thursday afternoon, when she walked with me to the Great Hall for dinner. I was relieved when I took notice of Sirius' absence. I wasn't sure I could face him yet.

But it wasn't ten minutes later when Sirius walked into the Great Hall with a dark haired Ravenclaw, who was laughing over something he had said moments ago, holding his hand. My heart only broke into tinier of pieces at the sight, ones that I thought I wouldn't be able to restore.

The boy stopped, kissing the girl on the lips before they parted her going to sit by her friends at the Ravenclaw table while he headed our way. Only when he turned his head to scan the table for the rest of the Marauders did he notice me.

His expression didn't flicker, that silly smile still lingering on his face. That silly smile I grew to love, only to hate later on. He walked over to us and sat next to Prongs, who happened to be sitting across from me.

He sighed and started filling his plate with food before eating. I stayed there frozen. How could he have gotten over us in such a short time. It was like I never meant anything to him. But even if I did back then, I clearly don't now.

So I sat there, looking at him casually conversing with Oliver, the Gryffindor boy in our year who happened to sit next to him. We were so close, yet so far apart.

I regretted not listening to Lily telling me not to fall in love with him back then, because it would end up with my heart broken. I regretted the memories I made with him, I regretted that he was most, if not all, of my firsts. I regretted him.

He was the worst of my crimes. The one that caused me such pain that if I could turn back time, I'd never commit.

Remus, who seemed to notice my discomfort, placed a hand on my thigh softly as if he wanted to tell me 'It's okay, I'm here for you, still'. The subtle move had me melting. Why couldn't Sirius be more like his friend?

Then the Ravenclaw girl from earlier came over. She took Oliver's seat next to Sirius and interlocked their hands. Valerie, she introduced herself. She was in the year below us and seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that it hadn't even been a full week since me and Sirius had broken up.

I told her my name, for I didn't her to think I had anything against her. Anything at all. It didn't matter that the boy I loved most had left me just to get with her a few days later.

Deep down I wanted to scream.

Instead I sat silently, Remus' hand still on my thigh, watching the two interact. And at that moment I waved goodbye to all the versions of myself I was when he was still with me. 'Good Riddance'.

Looking back, I an see why things took such a turn. I was never good enough for him, let alone the best. And I would never be, no matter how much I tried.

I would lie to him constantly. I'd tell him I was alright, even when I was clearly struggling. I kept my problems to myself, not daring to let him completely in, fearing he would leave me if he saw how bad things actually were.

I felt like I had to make up a completely different version of my life, like I had to hide all my flaws and struggles. I felt like I had to create this perfect image for him to love me.

I knew I shouldn't but I couldn't help but keep lying to him. It was like a little strange addiction of mine.

Even when I completely isolated myself he'd try to stay, he'd try to help me. He might not have known what I was going through at the moment but he still tried to be supportive and made sure it was known to me that he cared.

And even though I knew he was there for me, I still passed him away and built countless of walls around me so I could keep my struggles secret. So I would still be perfect in his eyes, when in truth everything was falling apart.

He had every right to leave. He could have anyone he wanted, he of course wouldn't want to stay with someone who was drowning in their own thoughts. He could be with someone so much better than me, so much prettier than me, someone so much smarter. Someone like Valerie.

I never was the best to him.

So why would he stay with me?

We were so different; it is even surprising how we got together in the first place. He was loud and brave, and always voiced out his thoughts. I was quiet and shy, and afraid of almost everything. The dark, thunders, growing up, making decisions.

I feel terrible because I gave such gravity to so little things that didn't matter at all. He was struggling too, with his family and his brother but instead of helping him through his problems I neglected him. Focusing on my own demons.

That's what I regret, most of all. That I didn't care enough for him, or at least I didn't show it.

If I could, I would change every little thing about the way I handled it.

He let me in. He trusted me with his struggles and his fears, he let me see the sensitive side of him. He let himself break down in front of me, he let me see him in a vulnerable position. He gave me the best of himself, never hiding anything from me.

It wass my fault, it was all my fault and I'd never let myself forget this.

But he moved on. He healed and kept going like we never existed while I was still right where he had left me. I was losing every last bit of self control I had, my grip on reality slipping. I was building so many walls around me that it was suffocating.

But I deserved it. I deserved it all. For what I did to him.

Sometimes I wonder if everyone would be better off without me. Maybe if I wasn't there the Marauders and the girls wouldn't have to worry about me. My parents wouldn't have to be disappointed in their child. My teachers wouldn't worry about my well being, that seemed to have taken a toll on my grades. Sirius wouldn’t have felt neglected once again by a person he loved.

Sometimes I just wish I could end it.

It would be okay if I didn't exist in the first place. But if I left now, the only thing I would achieve was to wound the ones that still cared. And I couldn't bring myself to do that.

So I stayed.

And things eventually got better.

I still regret it.

#marauders era #marauders era imagine #sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #sirius black angst #x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #spotify #curseofhecate

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c0smiccom3t · 7 months

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Dimension Dyfenders Update!! (9/20/23)

HEY, HEY, it's September! You know what that means! (read the above)

Hello D.D fandom, hello followers, mutuals, friends and hello people who curiously stumbled upon this post. You all know who i am, but for those who don't, let me introduce myself. My name's Comet. I'm the co-creator and main artist in the indie webcomic series Dimension Dyfenders! As of right now, i'm attending art school and trying my best to work more on the webcomic while also attending on my studies and get better grades. Now, you might ask, "Comet, what's going on with this series now?", "Why haven't been there more pocket adventures minisode 1 parts lately?" Well, i got the answers right here! First of all, let's start with the most obvious one... The Pocket Adventures situation.

Now, Pocket Adventures hasnt been online as of late, no next parts were being published, and im very sorry for that. The cause for it is the loss of motivation i had, which made me not work on it for a long while. Even when making new panels i feel extremely tired. Feeling like i should do something else (heck, i feel insecure about its panels when i draw them!) But fret not, that doesn't mean Pocket Adventures is getting cancelled. We still have loads of plans on the table and we can't wait to roll them out. But for now, we're taking a break due to IRL situations for example, art school. We, the team, have lives outside of making d.d content. We need to get our degrees and, well, try to survive life. But no worries, because I got plans to get back on D.D P.A Minisode 1 and finish it completely once winter break hits. As long as my motivation gets out of its hibernation phase. But still, i can't wait for you all to see the conclusion to minisode 1. (I just hope you dont mind if i jump right into the 'new designs' in the next pages)

Speaking of minisodes, I've been thinking of releasing minisodes only once a year than every saturday. Though this decision is not final yet. I don't want clout, in fact, i just wanna do what I love. Create stories and comics for everybody to enjoy. But if you guys would love for a minisode to release once a year or once in 3 months, let me know your opinions! Your criticism helps this series, especially its production, grow better!

Now, for the second and final question you may have asked… Thing is, Nothing has changed! But well, if you know me on my social media for my recent Crash Bandicoot fanart, then you might notice that Crash 4: It's About Time, especially it's artbook (and concept art by Nicola Saviori)... Has affected my artstyle, DRASTICALLY. So. The characters, of course, have went through some changes. I'd like to call this new artstyle... "The TFB Effect". As a matter of fact, Dimension Dyfenders (both its miniseries and full series) is going to have a brand new, more cartoony, zanier than ever artstyle! Don't believe me? See for yourselves. Starting with the main ones!

I decided to add a little bit of the good ol' Squash and Stretch to the characters to make them stand out more in the next comics. So of course, some of the colors have changed, especially designs and bodytypes. Oh, and not just that, our heroes have some new stuff, too! For example: Knockout's Dyfender Element is now refered as "Quantum Strenght", Paintdrop's is called "Cosmic Creativity" and Speedrunner's is called "Light Speed". Neat upgrades, eh? (Still, criticism is accepted.) Anyway, notice that in the first picture above there's something that says: "Dyfender Mode", right? Well, if you see that, that's because we are introducing something brand new to our heroes. Called: Omni-modes.

Now, "what are Omni-modes?", you may ask? Well, Omni-modes are modes that are set on the Dyfenders' Dy-watches, you may see that the Omni-Modes are, of course, the Dyfenders' alternate hero forms, to help them take on a mission in a different, more suitable form. When the day needs to be saved during night time (and rarely past bedtime), they activate Night Mode. For sunny beach days but still wanting to make sure nobody figures out their secret identities, Acqua Mode will be at their service. There are tons of different Omni-Modes to be shown (Especially, Pride mode, which was shown on this year's pride post.) So, yeah. Omni-modes will be shown in both the miniseries AND the full series!

Oh! And refering to characters, we can't forget about our main bad guys! Oh, you know, the Dajo-Crew? They got a bit of a make over to fit to the current artstyle! (ft. the updated height chart):

Now that we got that out of the way. let's just head over what will the future of the series look like as of right now. Starting off with the full series and pocket adventures. As said before, Dimension Dyfenders' artstyle changed. But that doesn't mean everything changed, things may be different (the more cartoony artstyle and the sillier tone), but nothing about the series has changed! And that means..

MORE POCKET ADVENTURES IS HAPPENING, THAT'S RIGHT! MORE D.D CONTENT COMING THIS WAY!

As for right now, D.D Minisode 1 may still be in development as we speak, but one thing that's completed right now is the script! Now that its finally finished, all thats left, is the panel and comic page-making (hopefully you wont mind the sudden character design changes, though.)! But in the meantime! We got some sneak peaks for not just one of the panels from the next minisode 1 pages, but also a never-seen before panel from the next minisodes of pocket adventures! (notice: some of these are not final and may change in the final product.)

That's not all! this franchise has got some new stuff coming in during it's run. We got so many plans, but this is the only thing we can show about said plans:

As you can see, you're gonna see some new characters in pocket adventures. While in the full series, you'll get some new characters too. Except... New baddies will be only in the full series, while in the miniseries then later in the animated series... You'll get to meet some new allies! So, keep your eyes peeled for them! And we hope you like them as much as we do.

Now, D.D has never shown a sign of stopping, even during hiatuses, so im happy to announce that more Pocket Adventures will be on their way after Minisode 1 has completed production! We're thinking of putting the upload dates on hold (which means, minisode 2 is delayed until further notice, sorry guys.). So please be patient when waiting for new minisodes.

And speaking of patience... I think I got a little something to keep you guys busy with while you wait... Introducing…

DIMENSION DYFENDERS TOONIES!

Now, you may be wondering: "What is THIS?" D.D.T (Dimension Dyfenders Toonies for long), is a brand new miniseries of comic strips that comes out during the weekends. (Starting in October, the end of september, or during the holiday season! No promises, though.) It's a little something i can make up while you guys wait for the next Pocket Adventures Minisodes. Oh yeah, here's one of the cover for it, too! It's not much, but i know you guys would go NUTS for it:

This will be about how the Dyfenders handle their superhero and school lives in everyday situations. (No worries, the action isn't gone. There might be some strips about school, but there will be more strips about their superhero lives, guarantee!). It's also about what The Dajo-Crew does when they aren't invading dimensions, get into some shenanigans at the castle and also when they plot evil schemes. some strips will be either original with a new short story or a recreation of old strips from phase 1 (not a final decision of course, but you can tell us if you like this idea)! One thing to point out is that some of the strips might take place before some minisodes, now thats another thing to notice, right? And that's the only "spoiler" I can give. So, sorry, no more! OH! And for any of you voice actors reading this who are like: "Wow, i wonder when this series will get a comic dub / animated series. If i'm lucky enough i might be able to voice act for it!" … Boy, do we have a treat for you all. Which will be posted in a few hours. both on bird app, bluesky, insta and on here! The only thing I have to announce is that during the d.d stuff's production and during art school, i'm not gonna be online on social media. (until during normal/long weekends and festive days.), but no worries, the series is still alive and kicking, even when there aren't posts about it for a few months! Though, in some days, i'll be able to make and share some art for it! You're all in for a wild ride for these months and for 2024! Oh, and about Dajo's account. I'm planning to bring it back. But, Dajo is currently busy conquering Dimensions, but I can assure he hasn't abandoned Sinstagram completely. You'll see more of his influencer side, too. Both in his Sinstagram and in the upcoming strips! (And perhaps in some mini– OOPS! TOO MUCH!) That's all for now! Thank you all for your support on the series, don't forget to share your fan creations of the series in DMs or tag me and the team in your masterpieces, share it with your family and friends, subscribe to the series on Comicfury, and follow me on Tumblr, bluesky, bird app and Instagram if you wish to support the project even outside of comicfury! Once again, thank you all in this slowly-growing small fandom for all of your support, and i hope you're all excited for what's to come! If you have any questions, please drop them on my tumblr askbox, Which i'll be able to answer during the weekends. That's all, back to the offline study and sleep abyss for me. GOODBYE!

#dimension dyfenders #webcomic #indie project #comics #announcement #dimension dyfenders updates #dajo stuns in new selfie /j #art #artists on tumblr #webcomics #ocs #original characters #webtoons #superheroes #cartoons #comic strips #official update #demon ocs #this is a new tag for artists

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kevinsreviewcatalogue · 1 day

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Review: The People's Joker (2022)

Just because I left Fort Lauderdale, and with it Popcorn Frights, behind when I moved to Boston last year doesn't mean I have to give up on horror festivals. And just as I managed to sneak in a trip to the Telluride Horror Show amidst my adventures in Utah back in 2022, so too did I find that -- where else? -- Salem, Massachusetts hosted the annual Salem Horror Show in April and May. Tonight was the first night, and they screened one of the festival's token non-horror films in The People's Joker, a queer Batman spoof made without any official approval from DC Comics or Warner Bros. (They originally had a screening of Hocus Pocus planned with Kathy Najimy as a special guest, but Najimy had to cancel at the last minute.) How was it?

The People's Joker (2022)

Not rated

Score: 4 out of 5

The People's Joker exists in a place very similar to that enjoyed by Escape from Tomorrow. In both cases, you have independent filmmakers making unlicensed, unauthorized use of American pop iconography, Disney in the case of Escape from Tomorrow and DC Comics in the case of this film, as a way of satirizing and critiquing it with a particular focus on its corporate ownership and its role in the modern economy. Unlike Disney, which permitted the release of Escape from Tomorrow, DC Comics and Warner Bros. actively tried to clamp down on this film, which was ultimately saved by fair use laws protecting parodies like this. And of the two, I'd argue that this film pulls off what it was trying to do a lot better. While both films are elevated by a particular psychedelic edge and punk-rock attitude, Escape from Tomorrow was too incoherent to really stick the landing or even really convey what it was trying to say, while The People's Joker manages to successfully pull off being not only a dark parody of Batman in which the Joker is the hero, but also a hilarious comedy in its own right, a queer coming-out story, a satire of the entertainment industry (especially stand-up and sketch comedy), and a film that manages to get its message across loud and clear. For obvious reasons, I don't expect this to be more than a cult classic, but it's one I enjoyed and do not regret watching.

In this take on Batman's most iconic villain, one that's most obviously based on the movie Joker but draws on many versions of the character (as well as elements of Harley Quinn), the Joker is now a trans woman who leaves her disapproving mother in Smallville, Kansas for Gotham City in the hopes of becoming a comedian like her idol, UCB Live star Ra's al Ghul. There, upon being exposed to the gatekeeping and hypocrisy of the world of mainstream standup comedy, which here serves largely to prop up a corporate-run dystopia even as it still claims the legacy of those who once spoke truth to power, she starts her own underground "anti-comedy" troupe in an abandoned carnival that comes to be comprised of many of Batman's traditional baddies from the comics. (Her trademark gag is inviting people onstage to tell the world their saddest experiences and then huffing Smilex and laughing her ass off at their misery, because after all, this is still the Joker we're talking about.) This eventually puts her on a collision course with Batman himself, who's depicted as not only the jackbooted thug that more cynical deconstructions of superhero comics have framed him as, but also a perverted closet case on top of it. (Let's just say, this film gets a lot of mileage out of all those jokes you've heard about his relationship with his sidekick Robin.)

The film ain't exactly subtle in what it's saying. UCB Live is a clear-cut parody of Saturday Night Live, right down to the fact that Lorne Michaels is a character in the film, and moreover, its initialism is lifted straight from the famed Chicago comedy troupe the Upright Citizens Brigade that played such a major role in the development of standup and sketch comedy in the '90s and '00s, including producing multiple SNL stars. And while the film never names him so directly, you also get the sense that its writer, director, and star Vera Drew really isn't a fan of Joe Rogan or the standup circle he's built around himself, either. The Joker's introduction to UCB Live's casting has her body being scanned and her being deemed a potential comedy superstar because she has a small penis and is therefore mistaken for the kind of insecure man who the industry is built upon. Her comic idol Ra's starred in a Borat-like film whose main joke was making fun of foreigners. The whole reason Batman, an avatar of the elite if ever there was one (being the CEO of Wayne Enterprises and all), comes after her is because she directly criticizes and threatens the ruling class in a way that the corporate, sanitized world of UCB Live merely pretends to. Drew is somebody who clearly has experience with comedy and the people who inhabit it, and is very much writing that experience into the meat of the story, a metaphorical representation of an entertainment industry that, in her view, only cloaks itself in populism and progressive language enough that it can fend off criticism without actually making any meaningful changes.

Much of this is told through a mix of a riotous and raunchy comedy and the Joker's romance with her fellow comic Jason Todd, aka "Mr. J", a trans man who's envisioned here as a mix of Robin and the edgelord Jared Leto version of the Joker from the DC Extended Universe. The gags came flying at a mile a minute, and often had me busting my gut in laughter. The whole cast is game for the material, with Drew making the Joker a compelling anti-hero not just as a comic presence but also as somebody whose journey from a Midwestern girl-trapped-in-a-boy's-body to a flamboyant Clown Princess of Crime was one that I found myself genuinely invested in. Kane Distler as Mr. J was also an interesting presence, somebody whose relationship with the Joker starts promisingly only for him to turn emotionally abusive and self-centered (complete with a "gaslighting" pun that had me cracking up), indicating that, when he transitioned, he wound up embracing the most noxious forms of hypermasculinity. And as for the style of the film, Drew goes for an exaggerated feel that combines live-action filmmaking, highly stylized CGI, what appears to be a mannequin representing Poison Ivy, and very crude animation both 2D and 3D to create a feeling that reminded me of watching Adult Swim or surfing Newgrounds back in the 2000s. There clearly wasn't much of a budget here, so Drew instead leaned on creativity, both her own and the dozens of artists worldwide who each contributed to the film. It was as unique a film to watch as it was an entertaining comedy, one that demonstrated a lot of talent and commitment on the part of everybody involved.

The Bottom Line

There's no way in hell that The People's Joker is ever getting a wide release, but if it plays near you, I highly recommend seeking it out, as a twisted, countercultural sendup of everything from superheroes to mainstream comedy to who gets to call themselves "the counterculture".

#the people's joker #2022 #2022 movies #comedy #comedy movies #superhero #superhero movies #romance #romance movies #the joker #joker #batman #jason todd #poison ivy #tim heidecker #bob odenkirk #vera drew

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buckyshenley16 · 4 years

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The Tales Of The Winter Soldeir and Winter Witch

Book1, Chapter 1

3 Years before Bucky was drafted

February 5th, 1940

Ramona’s POV

Putting my stacks of paperwork on my desk ready for tomorrow as my work day comes to an end, I find myself sighing in relief after a long day of again getting nowhere with the ‘Jeweler Case.’ It seems to be a never-ending case as this is our second week trying to solve the jewelry store robbery and who did what and when, why, and so on.

“Lover boy is on the phone Ramona.” Peggy gloats with a smug grin on her face purposely making sure the speaker was not covered.

“Like I’ve told you almost a hundred times Carter, he is not my lover boy.” I exclaim emphasizing the word ‘not’ with an eye roll and taking the phone off her. “Why hello Buck, what would you be calling to ask the 3rd time today?” I ask with a slight chuckle whilst throwing a rubber at Peggy who is winking at me.

“Just checking before I leave to walk you home doll, did you bring a jacket today? It’s freezing outside and I can see your jacket still hung up, would hate for ya to catch a cold especially when you live with someone with an immune system like Steve.” Bucky says, his Brooklyn drawl being clearer than ever.

“You know, I do have more than one coat Buck?” I ask. “Just checking Mona, I didn’t walk you today so I didn’t see what you left in. Just seen what you woke up in or should I say what you didn’t wake up in.” Bucky asks with a hint of flirting and a hint of cockiness in his voice.

“Yes, and if you carry on with your Mr, big ego act that’ll be the last time you see that, Barnes.” I retort.

“Okay we both know that’s not the truth. Anyway, I’m bouta leave doll, will be there in half an hour, will wait in the usual spot.”

“Not true but okay, see you soon Buck” I say trying not to drop the phone from between my ear and shoulder whilst locking my cabinets. “See you soon, darlin'.” Bucky finishes before putting the phone down.

Bucky and I had known each other since being 6 and 9 being introduced by our friend Steve. Steve had been like a big brother growing up, Sarah being nothing but welcoming to my family when we fled to Brooklyn from Russia. Sarah and my mother would both take turns between childcare; me, my three younger sisters and brother being at the Rogers’ every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and half the day Sunday whilst mother would go to work at the laundry where Sarah also worked.

And obviously Steve would be at our house every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Every Sunday we would have dinner at the Rogers’ with our mother. Our father stayed in Russia with mother wanting to flee a situation I wasn’t told about until I was old enough to understand. Father was abusive and an alcoholic and had a job mother didn’t agree with, but we were never told what that job entailed and whilst I found myself wondering every so often, curiosity never killed the cat and I was enormously proud of that.

Bucky, Steve, and I were best friends growing up with Bucky and Steve being stupidly overprotective of me even when I became a fully trained agent and officially full time at SSR. My mother never 100% agreed with my job and whilst Bucky and Steve questioned it at first for my safety, but once they realised I could handle myself (after witnessing me defend myself against a couple of not so nice men who got a bit too close for my comfort) they were 100% supportive of my job, especially Bucky with one less person to save from the allies and one more person to help when Steve found himself on the not so nice ends of the alleys face first into the trash cans.

It was around 18 years old I'd started developing feelings for Bucky, not that I’d never admit it to him, I was far too proud and full of denial for that because he would never go for a girl like myself; at least that’s what I thought until I found myself intertwined in his sheets with his body wrapped around mine after one passionate, unexpected night a year later.

This went from happening every few weeks, to every two weeks, to maybe once a week to every few nights and I’m still in denial that he would ever want to make things official.

I question whether I want to become his girl, especially with my line of work and seeing my parent’s relationship be the bane of their lives when I was younger. All I’ve ever seen is relationships fail and that is why I refuse to put myself through the pain of one. I care about Bucky, he’s the one person who no matter how rotten the day be I’m guaranteed to have a smile on my face when I see him.

When Sarah died both mine and Bucky's families became close ensuring two big family units to support Steve and even a year and a half after she passed; me, Bucky and Steve got a shared apartment together. Sure, it was no five stars, but it was home and as long as the three of us had each other that was all that mattered. Steve was aware of mine and Bucky's “situation” but chose not to get involved.

Stuck in my own little world I'd not realised half an hour had passed and Bucky would be waiting for me so after grabbing my coat and bag I made sure to say bye to Peggy and arrange coffee and breakfast before work tomorrow morning where we could discuss some of the cases privately, seen as though we knew we were massively undermined at SSR we got a lot of thinking and solving done mostly when we were alone together where no male could underestimate or interrupt us.

Walking down out of the doors I spotted Bucky with a glowing grin on his face, it took everything to keep my footing steady. “Hello, beautiful. How would you feel about hot chocolate and dinner on me at our spot?” Bucky asked holding his arm out to me which I gladly took.

“Gee buck, almost sounds like you’re asking me on a date!” I tease earning a nudge to my side causing a fit of laughter.

“One day doll, I’ve already asked several times but one day I will get a yes out of ya.” Bucky retorted.

“I’ll hold you to that Buck, how was your day?” I asked clinging to his arm.

“The usual, woke up to a fine dame next to me, crappy coffee, got to work. Left work, pulled Steve out of an ally, nagged Steve how he’s not ten men and should think before he acts, walked the little punk back to the apartment, read the paper and now I'm here to pick up you. How bout you doll?” Bucky explains with a hint of sarcasm.

“Same old, really strugglin’ with this case I just can’t seem to understand how a whole jewelry store could be robbed without even a fingerprint left behind nor how someone could even get a hold of that damn gas. How many men was it today? Did you or Steve get hurt?” you ask with a sigh giving Bucky's arm a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey Mona, don’t worry too much about it, we both know you’ll get to the bottom of it like always and I’m sure whoever’s guilty will regret it when they have to face the bottom of your shoe. Two guys, managed to reason with them after giving one a right hook.” he winked.

“Oh, I know I will, thanks Buck I can always rely on you for some good old confidence boosting. I give up telling the jackass he’s gotta stop this, I may as well be talking to a brick wall!” I finish with a chuckle. As we walk into the bright, retro diner Bucky holds the door open for me before guiding us both to a booth. As we take our coats off a waitress comes to us.

“Well would ya look who it is, only our two favorites! Where’s Rogers tonight?” Our waitress Nancy asks.

“Probably at home bathing his black eye, sulking about his fight whilst planning his next one.” I exclaim earning a laugh from both Bucky and Nancy.

“I don’t even gotta ask, usual for you two?” Nancy asks pointing between us both with her pen.

“Of course!” Bucky says with a grin

“That’s two hot chocolates and a portion of fries coming up!” Nancy exclaims.

“Thanks, Nance!” we both call.

Me, Bucky and Steve have been coming to this diner since we were in school. Their hot chocolates were practically the glue to our friendships. As I looked up from my hands, I spotted Bucky looking at me with a smile on his face. “What’s got you all smiley?” I ask with a grin.

“Just you!” Bucky exclaims grin turning wider.

“Are you purposely trying to make me blush?” I ask with a chuckle feeling warmth go to my face praying my blusher somewhat cancels the blushing.

“Always doll, I just like to make ya blush and to know I’ve still got it.” Bucky explains with a cocky smirk. Damn you and your godly smile Barnes!

“Glad my embarrassment gives you an even bigger ego boost Buck!” I laugh before our food and drinks get set down and we start tucking in.

*An hour later, on the way home from diner*

“Thank you for that Buck, it was fun. Was nice to be sat anywhere but that office.” I explain.

“S’alright doll, anything to put a smile on your face. I wanted to actually talk to you. This, us been goin' on a little while too long now.” Bucky stopped walking and turned me to face him taking both my hands in his.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I ask feeling my heart rip into two.

“Yeah, doll.” he grins.

“Oh okay, no I totally get it Buck we’re kinda not going anywhere and I’m really not ready to put myself into a relationship right now and you wanna move on or you’ve already found a girl. I get it, no hard feelings.” I say holding back the tears.

“Woah doll, no no! You’re completely taking it the wrong way. Mona, I like you, scratch that I’m crazy bout you. I understand you don’t wanna take this further just yet, but I can wait,” he says cupping my face in his hands looking into my eyes.

“Buck, I appreciate that so much but there’s so many better girls throwing themselves at you and you’re going to waste them just to wait for me? I could make you wait years and I wouldn’t want that.” I explain placing my hands over his.

“I don’t want them other girls, I want you. You’re the most beautiful, loyal, caring, and bad ass girl I’ve ever met. I will wait as long as you want me to if it means I can have you. Just please tell me you feel the same.” he begs his eyes searching my face for any sign of feeling the same.

“I do Buck, I have for a while.” I admit a small smile making its way to my lips. Bucky gently strokes his thumb across my bottom lip before pulling me in for a sweet, loving kiss. It was suddenly like it was just the pair of us that existed, nobody mattering in that moment but us two. Bucky pulled away keeping his hands on my face, placing his forehead against mine. “I got you, doll” he says before pulling me into his chest resting his chin on my head, wrapping his arms around my shoulders tightly; sighing contently.

“I got you too, Buck.” I reply wrapping my arms around his waist and smiling contently to myself.

“Let’s get home to the punk before he can’t help but lead himself to another alley huh.” Bucky says whilst linking our arms together and directing us both out of the park.

“We should probably check the alleys on our way back Buck.” I suggest

“Glad we're on the same page doll.” Bucky chuckles.

So, It’s the first of many chapters🤩 I’m so so excited!! Just wanted to give a shout out to @i-write-bucky and @jbarness for proof reading this for me!! Angels🤩❤️

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