It gets better

You're burning rice now, and the vegetables you sauté only come out half-cooked

You're almost afraid to go into the kitchen at all because that was your mother's domain, not yours

You don't want to dirty more dishes

You don't want to waste more ingredients

How does this appliance work? Where's the instructions? Why aren't they clear enough?

You can't dice tomatoes; they squish into pulp and you have to toss them

You can't make bread; it's too dense, too hard, and you can't make yourself eat it, even though you feel obligated to

You're afraid to turn the beater on, because remember last time? Where you messed up?

It gets better

Someday, you'll make your best friend a bunch of mini quiches so she has a quick breakfast whenever she wants

Someday, you'll make double servings of your favorite food from memory

Someday, you'll accidentally make gelatin that's still got heat from the last time that pan cooked peppers, and you'll learn a little more about how spice works

Someday, you'll improvise a recipe you've never even tried unaltered before, and you'll make a perfect pumpkin cheesecake

And the cookies will be a little too hard, and you'll lament not eating them as dough

And you'll forget about the half & half you asked for, and have no idea what you want to do with it

And you'll linger on your failures less and less, because that cheesecake turned out perfectly

It gets better

Keep trying

Creator Spotlight: @jijidraws

Jiji Knight is a latina pinup illustrator. Her work is overall geared toward thick ladies and dedicated to fat positivity out of a purely selfish need to create art she wished she had seen growing up. She often features sexy and soft macabre themes on vibrant or sweet colours and takes great joy in making folx feel good about themselves with her work. She holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration and operates out of her very sunny hometown of Las Vegas.

Check out our interview with Jiji below!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

Oh my gosh… I have art blocks all the time. My favorite way of overcoming it is by making fanart. Funnily enough, that’s something I don’t do in my own work anymore. But there are still IPs I return to that still bring joy to my heart. I love returning to drawing Sailor Moon like when I was in first grade. Or I’ll even look up the last fashion week and start drawing the fashion week outfits from the Paris or New York show. Stuff like that is what gets my creative juices flowing.

What medium have you always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

Resin. Resin art is so stunning. People make the most amazing and beautiful sculptures using resin, and I don’t think I could ever bring myself to play with something so complicated. There are a lot of ways to cure it, and sometimes, it doesn’t cure properly…I already work with enough chaos as it is! I respect resin artists, but I don’t think I would ever touch it. I’ve admired it from a distance. There is an artist I follow who does these resin layer paintings. So they’ll paint a layer of resin, then cure it, and paint on top of the cured layer. They build up these amazing paintings using resin…I could never. Maybe one day!

What is one interaction you had with a fan of yours that has stuck with you over the years?

I still remember…It was my first and only Flame Con in New York. I had a fan come up to my booth. They didn’t say hello or that it was nice to meet me. They started to cry! They cried, and the first words out of their mouth were, “I’ve never seen myself in artwork before.” So, of course, I started to cry! So we were just crying across the table at each other. It was just one of the sweetest interactions, and it really sticks with me still to this day.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

My latest collaboration with the artist Missupacey. We’ve been collaborating for two years now, and our last collaboration was for Midsummer Scream. It was two very cute clown girls, and I designed our T-shirt. It was one of the most fun projects we’ve done in a long time. We love doing collaborative work because it keeps working in the art industry fresh—being able to bounce ideas back and forth. So we do it where someone picks the color palette, and someone picks a theme. We’ll get references together, put them on a big board, and send each other sketches. It’s really nice to work with somebody else.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

Honestly, it changed everything. I mean, I used to draw for myself a lot. And while I still do that, I now predominantly draw for my Patrons. For a while, I was drawing for the internet. So I was drawing stuff people wanted to see in terms of plus-sized versions of characters—a plus-sized Poison Ivy or a plus-sized Sailor Moon. My Patrons have allowed me to start drawing for myself again. But technology, for a while, essentially dominated what direction I was taking with my art, so I’m grateful to take some of that power back.

If there is one thing that you want art enthusiasts to remember you by, what would it be?

Body positivity. I would love for them to remember that there is an artist making work that is making people feel good about themselves and about the way they look at themselves.

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Have a method of taking money, have a method of displaying your work, and have a way to take a break. I have a plastic picnic cover that costs like a dollar at any store. All I have to do is clip it to my display grates, and it covers up my entire display. I feel secure enough to take time for myself in a 10-hour workday to eat something, go to the restroom, or even take a moment to breathe and reorganize my inventory. So it’s so funny that this one-dollar piece of plastic is like the most life-saving item in my display of items.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@mayakern comes to mind. She is another body-positive artist who expanded into making body-positive clothing. She’s amazing, and just to see someone else out there promoting body positivity. Maya’s been doing it longer than I have, I believe. It feels good to know that I’m not alone. Her work is always stunning, and I love her body-positive DnD characters and the fact that she’s still plowing through the clothing industry. For example, she’s expanded from skirts to button-downs and even custom-wrap shirts. I love to see what she’s doing, and it inspires me to pursue different avenues with my own work.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Jiji! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jijidraws.

Seaside Rendezvous

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x reader

Content: fluff, a little angst, unrequited feelings/ miscommunication, not rlly unrequited

Word Count: 0.6k

A/N: Heyyyyyy….. it’s been a while, huh? life has been busy and difficult and amazing and everything in between, but i just wanted to post something (even if i feel like it’s not my best work😓) i might be more active after like 2 weeks, but it’s also finals season rn :o anyway, miss you guys and miss writing! looking forward to getting back into tumblr, and i hope you enjoy!

It’s a clear and overwhelmingly blue sort of day. You walk along the beach, beneath a cloudless sky, which creates calm waters to push gently foaming waves onto the shoreline. They soak your feet while you amble on, shoes in one hand and a single bag of groceries in the other. And Sanji’s signature blue pinstripe shirt makes him look even more picturesque than usual- a perfect man against a perfect backdrop.

He’s less than an arms distance to your right, with at least 4 bags in each hand, plus a tote under his arm. But you feel there is no point in offering to hold a few, since he had already refused when you initially left the market. That was half an hour ago, and you’ve been merely contemplating your feelings up till now. You’ve always felt something for Sanji, it’s just hard to say what exactly. He flirts so shamelessly and often that understanding your own emotions is nearly impossible. Are they a matter of genuine affection (beyond friendship), or simply flare-ups of lust inspired by how much he seems to want you?

Even if you could know how you truly feel for Sanji, your longtime crew mate and friend, it wouldn’t matter for that very reason. If anything, it might be worse to know how real your affections for him are than it is to continue pushing them to the back of your mind silent, contemplative moments.

But Sanji makes that impossible, too.

“What’s on your mind?”

Your eyes leave the sand to meet his mirth- crinkled eyes. “Nothing, why?”

He manages to shrug beneath the weight of the groceries. “You were being quiet, that’s all.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Don’t be, dearest.”

You avert your eyes before mumbling, “Are you sure you don’t want help with those bags?”

“I don’t need help, but thank you. And,” he smiles a little brighter, “I’d hate to ever burden you, love.”

“Sanji, don’t say things like that.”

“Oh? I thought you enjoyed my terms of endearment for you.”

You shake your head no. “Not if they aren’t serious.”

Sanji’s expression turns from content, to confused, then surprised, while he slowly comes to a stop. Once you’ve notice he’s no longer walking by your side, you turn back in time to see him finally settle on a gleeful smile.

“You’d like it… if you knew I was serious?”

“W-Well… I guess, yeah. Not that I-“

“Because I am serious about you. I always have been, really.”

Now you’re the one who’s confused. “What?”

He rushes to drop the groceries, followed by the tote bag on his shoulder, and approaches you. Sanji guides you to drop your own load, too, before taking your hands in his.

“Would you be mine?”

“Sanji, you’re being ridiculous now…”

“I’m being genuine. Why, you don’t want to?”

“Well I mean, I would if I could, but I can’t. We can’t.” You let go of his hands and pick up your shoes and singular grocery bag, then straighten up and look into his eyes. He smiles sadly, and you just smile back before walking on.

He knows you don’t mean to hurt his feelings, especially since you seem to barely believe that said feelings for you could be real or serious. But it does hurt a little. Sanji sighs as he picks up his bags. He follows you and watches your hair bounce with your steps.

For now, he’d have to be content with letting his imagination run away with thoughts of loving you.

A Distressing Solstice

a/n: For my lovely @icey--stars I hope you have a wonderful holiday and thank you to the amazing people at @acotargiftexchange for making this a thing!

w/c: 2000+

warnings: 🐱

masterlist

*****

Eris’s POV

Eris glanced in the full-body mirror one last time before taking a deep breath and praying to the Cauldron that nothing would go wrong. He was in a dark red vest that had black patterns covering a black shirt paired with black dress pants. It was the Winter Solstice and Azriel had invited him over to meet his family on good terms and to come clean about their not-so-secret secret relationship. Rhysand and Feyre had found out when catching the two lovers making out 30 minutes before a meeting. Surprisingly the High Lord and Lady had already suspected and was willing to hear them out. Lucien had also found out in a similar way, accidentally walking in on something he definitely never wanted to see again. Eris also knew Morrigan suspected because Azriel had dragged him halfway through Velaris to apologize and explain why he’d left her in the woods that day. If Mor knew, then all the females in the night court probably did as well. Really this was only for Cassian (because Amren always knows everything), the ‘poor oblivious Illyrian baby’ as Azriel liked to call him. Still, Eris’s nerves jangled nervously as he winnowed to the River House. Sparing a look at his watch, Eris realized he was fifteen minutes early. Oh well, couldn’t very well go back now… well he technically could…. Shaking the thought from his head he scanned his surroundings. Although he would deny it to the grave, the River House was as incredible as Az had told him. As he approached the house mansion, he glanced at the windows. Two silhouettes were too close to be casual. He smiled, happy for their love. Then, suddenly realizing one had giant wings, Eris froze, fearing what he was seeing. Creeping closer, he peered through the window focusing intently on the figure with wings. That same jet black hair. Oh no. It couldn’t be. Azriel would never. Eris’s face drained of all color as he saw his lover against the counter with Elain Archeron leaning forward to kiss him. Fire roared through his veins as his own heart broke at the sight and he thought of how devastated Lucien would be. Using every scrap of self control to not smash through the window and beat both Azriel and Elain up for their betrayal, Eris backed up. Indifferent mask falling into place as he watched their lips meet. He turned down the pathway and started the walk back to the unwarded areas. All while slamming up those steel walls in his heart and mind. Pushing his feelings into a teeny tiny box and once more becoming the High Lord. The High Lord that showed no mercy, no compassion, no joy, no love, nothing except cruelty. The High Lord he’d been before Azriel. When Eris reached the end of the wards, he looked back at the River House and without a single trace of emotion winnowed out.

***

Bright light greeted him along with the shocked face of his little brother. The day court. “Eris! I thought you were with Az?” Lucien’s slightly worried voice broke Eris’ facade of indifference. His body gave out and he dropped to his knees in the middle of Lucien’s cabin. “Eris?! What happened? What’d he do?” Eris chuckled. He loved his brother. In a weak voice he asked, “Why do you assume he did something?” “Because you’d never hurt him.” Lucien’s arms encircled him and Eris felt himself being lifted off the ground. “You love him. You would do anything for that shadowsinger. He doesn’t deserve it, but you’d still do it.” “I loved him.” The words were another stab into Eris’ heart as Lucien sat him down in an armchair. “No, you love him. You, of all people, can’t unlove in twenty minutes. I know you Eris. You’re blocking your feelings, making yourself feel nothing. It’s not healthy, you’ve got to at least have closure if you’re going to end it with Az.” Eris glared, hating that Lucien was right. His damned emissary training made him absurdly good with words. “So, I ask you again. What happened?” “Luci… Ela- Elain kissed him. Your mate kissed my mate.”

*****

Azriel’s POV

It was eleven, Eris was four hours late. He probably wasn’t even coming at this point. Azriel drained his wine, glancing towards the door once more before Feyre drew his attention. “Do you know where Elain is?” It was the fifth time the question had come up, all directed at him. “No.” He’d rejected Elain again after she’d forced herself on him. She’d pinned him between the kitchen counter and not willing to hurt her, he’d been helpless. But she’d kissed him and he knew he had to do something but his body froze. He’d shoved her off after a moment and harshly told her he didn’t want her. He’d never wanted her. She’d just been a placeholder while he tried to find someone who was right for him. And he’d found that someone. She’d run off crying. He glanced outside again and still no fiery red head. “Az?” Rhysand placed a present in front of him as he looked down and Azriel with a worried gaze. “You alright?” Azriel nodded at his brother before taking the present. Carefully unwrapping the squirrel and acorn wrapping paper, Az pulled out the present. It was a small box. When opened it was a heart locket the color of autumn leaves. Upon closer inspection Azriel noticed that the locket was broken in two. He opened one side; it had a picture of Eris staring at someone not shown with a heated, loving expression. Frowning, Azriel opened the other locket to fine a picture of him staring with the same expression at someone else. He smiled slightly, putting the lockets together to show a picture of the couple locked in a heated gaze. Looking up at Rhys, his eyes watered at the incredibly thoughtful present. “It’s lovely Rhys. I love it and I’m sure Eris would if he’d bothered to show up.” His voice turned bitter and he let a little bit of his pain show. Anger shown in his brothers eyes. “I can’t believe he stood us up. I thought he was good. Do you want to go find him?” “He is good. I’m not sure. Give it another hour, if he’s not here by then we’ll go see what happened.” Rhys nodded, smiling at his brother before moving back to Feyre’s side and tucking her into his side. Azriel’s heart clenched at the love his High Lord and Lady had. He wished for it, especially the mating bond. But it seemed the Mother had deemed him unworthy of even that. Barely minutes later, Rhysand was once again standing in front of him. “Screw it Az, let’s find that asshole.” His brother had that look on his face that said he wasn’t going to back down on this front. “Fine… just let him explain before murdering anyone.” Rhys’ grin was a slash of white, “I make no promises.” He grabbed Azriel by the shoulder and winnowed them out. The scent of fresh fallen leaves hit him and Az relaxed slightly. He opened the cabin door and stepped in, Rhys a step behind him. “Er?” No answer. “He’s not here Az. Hasn’t been for hours.” Azriel nodded, stepping back into his shadows and winnowing away. There was only one more place Eris could possibly be. Az felt a knock against his mental shields. “I wish to do this alone, Rhys.” “Then best of luck, brother.”

*****

Lucien’s POV

Lucien heard a light knock against his cabin door and sighed, already knowing who stood outside. He couldn’t believe Azriel had cheated on Eris with Elain. Of all people. He wanted to give up on Elain, to find someone who wanted him and cared enough to accept and use his damn gifts. But she was his mate and that string connecting them wasn’t so easy to block. Lucien disentangled himself from his sleeping brothers arms and silently crept toward the door. “He won’t want to see you.” Meeting Azriel’s hazel eyes he felt a surge of anger, especially at the very faint smell of jasmine and honey. The shadowsinger looked confused at Lucien’s words. “Why? What did I do?” Lucien’s brows pulled together slightly, was it possible that Eris had gotten it wrong? That the situation he’d seen wasn’t what it’d looked like? An unwanted flare of hope ran through his body. “You… where were you fifteen minutes before 7:00?” “Umm.” Realization dawned on Azriel’s face. “Kitchens. Oh. So, Eris was early and saw through the window when Elain kissed me and assumed that I was cheating on him?” Damn. He’d gotten it right away. “Yep. And now you can come in, explain you hopefully weren’t cheating on him and make it so I don’t have a brooding high lord in my getaway cabin?” “If you’d step out of the doorway.” His voice lowered to a whisper. “Do you think he’ll hear me out?” Fear and sadness laced his tone. Lucien shrugged elegantly, “good luck!” He needed wine, maybe he’d stop by the River House and take a few of Rhysand’s good bottles and be back in time to kick his brother out before he had sex with the shadowsinger in his bedroom, again.

*****

Eris’ POV

A hand shook him out of his sleep and he groaned, batting the hand away. Said hand grabbed his hand and pinned it to the bed. Said hand wasn’t just calloused like Lucien’s but also had scars. Burn scars. Eris shot up, suddenly wide awake as he looked to his side and was met with a pair of hazel eyes. “Azriel.” He jumped off the bed as the memories of why he was at his brothers cabin came back. Azriel had cheated on him! With Elain. His brothers mate! “Eris, please. Let me explain.” A hint of desperation sparked in his eyes. “No! You kissed her! You-“ “Eris!” Azriel cut him off, rounding the bed to stand in front of him. “She kissed me! I-“ “You kissed her back! You know how much she means to Lucien and you still kissed her back!” “Lordling.” Azriel pushed him onto the bed and hovered above him, pinning his wrists to the mattress. “She kissed me and it took me by surprise so I froze. If you’d only stayed and watched another five fucking seconds you would have seen me push her away and tell her I don’t want her.” Eris’ emotions spiked, “Of course I didn’t stay to watch my mate kiss another! It’d tear me apart!” Azriel stilled above him. “Mate?” That’s when the bond snapped for him and Eris felt the mating bond go taunt. Rushes of desperation, surprise and love flooded his side of the bond. “Mate.” The confirmation alone made the bond glow with life. He leaned up, even as Azriel still pinned him to the bed, placing a gentle kiss on his mates lips. “I’m sorry I ever doubted your loyalty to me… I just assumed the worst and I shouldn’t have.” Azriel’s eyes softened and his body relaxed as he let got of Eris’s wrists and collapsed on top of him. “I love you, lordling.” Azriel’s hands cupped his face and he kissed him passionately, letting the bond between them come to life with shared love. “I’m the high lord. Not a lordling.” Eris grumbled into Azriel’s chest. “But I love you too, shadow boy. A waterfall of ice cold water hit the couple and they both yelped jumping up and out of bed. Eris glowered at his grinning brother as he magically dried himself and Azriel. “You’ll pay for that, Luci.” He grabbed Azriel’s hand and started to drag him out of the cabin. “At least I won’t have the scent of your sex in my cabin for weeks again!” Azriel glanced at Eris, “That long?” Eris grinned nodding, “Longer.” He winnowed them to his own getaway cabin. “Now mate, where were we?”

*****

A/n: Thank you for making it through that… hopefully without any cringing!

taglist:

@thelov3lybookworm @stargirl1714

thank you @artists-ally for keeping me sane with promises of that one thing and suggesting a name for Az.

Mirror, mirror…Who will sink into lustful dreams? - Roger Barel (His POV)

The aftermath of this story in Roger's POV.

Important: Before proceeding with this story, I'll let you know now that outside of Kate's POV, what happened before was not actually a dream.

As usual can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

Roger: That should do it...

I'd cleaned Kate up after she passed out from being loved pretty thoroughly.

I then carried her back to her room and laid her down on the bed.

(When you wake up, you'll think everything that happened was all part of Al's illusions...)

(Still, what a misunderstanding. Never thought Kate would think the real me was an illusion)

~~ Flashback start ~~

It all started a few hours ago when Kate stumbled into the infirmary.

Roger: What's up, little lady? You feeling sick?

Kate: This suggestion’s amazing…It’s as if the real Roger’s right in front of me!

Roger: The hell are you talkin’ about?

Sounds like I'm a "fake Roger".

When my brows furrowed in confusion, Kate regained her footing and explained herself.

Kate: Um…I’ll explain later. Do you remember when you and I had a fight last week?

(A fight...Ah, something like that happened)

We had different thoughts on a mission and Kate got fed up with my position...

I remember her yelling something childish like 'I don’t want to see you again!'

Kate: So I asked Alfons to help me…practice apologizing to you. He suggested that I see Roger in a dream.

Roger: So that’s it… So we’re in your dream, huh?

(It's not suggestion though... Is it cuz of Al that you think I'm an illusion?)

(Is he harrassing me or teasing Kate...Could be both)

(I can tell Kate that this is reality but...Since she thinks it's a dream, it won't change anything)

(Now's a great chance...I can do some research on the power of suggestion)

I decided not to correct Kate's misunderstanding for the sake of my research on curses.

Roger: You’re earnest even with stuff like practicing how to apologize. I don’t really care about what you said to me back then. I know you have your own thoughts, so don’t worry about it.

Kate: I wish the real Roger would say that same thing…

Roger: He did. It’s me.

Kate: Just because Roger’s illusion forgave me so easily, doesn’t mean it’ll actually turn out like this. I shouldn’t just apologize…Should I prepare something…?

Roger: If you really wanna show your sincerity, then how ‘bout you buy him a nice beer?

Kate: …! You’re right, I should!

It was just an idea, but Kate's face lit up at the thought.

Something felt off about that happy look.

Roger: By the way, little lady, why’re you puttin’ so much effort into making up with me?

Kate: Eh…

Roger: Hate to say this but, I don’t mix business and pleasure. If you and I are fighting, it’s not gonna affect your work, is it?

Kate: The reason why I want to make up with Roger isn’t because of work…

Roger: Oh…?

Kate: I…I admire how Roger’s researching curses and his diligent approach to treatment others. Though I think it’d be nice if you were less pushy or mean… I put my trust in Roger. That’s why I don’t want to stay on bad terms with him.

(I'm hearing a confession...)

~~ Flashback end ~~

I couldn't control myself after hearing something like that...

I ended up assaulting Kate, forgetting about my research.

Roger: "Putting your trust in me" huh...

I mull over the thoughts she'd never say to the real me.

It's like those words were more intoxicating than any strong drink.

(If she says those kinds of cute things in a dream...she's not gonna return to reality)

I know it's an impossible dream, but...

I wanted her to say what she said to illusion me to the real me.

--

The next day on my way to the dining hall for breakfast, I ran into Kate who'd just woken up.

Kate: ...Roger...

Kate's face turned red and flustered like she was remembering last night as a dream.

Roger: Oh, mornin'. You're acting weird...Something you wanna say?

Kate: Ah...Uh...well... I'm really sorry I said that I didn't want to see your face again that day!

Roger: Don't worry about it...I was being stubborn so we're even.

Kate: Thank you... Please let me buy you some nice beer.

Roger: Sure, lookin' forward to it...

Seeing how Kate used last night's experience, I could feel my lips quirking up.

Then, as if she caught my smile, Kate smiled back.

(Don't you know that I take advantage of you when you smile so defenselessly around me like that?)

Even if it was just a dream for Kate, something like that happened last night...

I wanted to bully Kate again as she kept her guard down.

Roger: To show we've made up...Lift your face a bit

Kate: Eh? Sure...Nn, hmm?!

I stole a kiss when Kate looked up.

Roger: ...Alright, we're back to normal now

Kate: What...Things aren't back to normal, they've gotten worse! Roger you're so...shameless...The Roger in my dream was like that too...

Roger: What about me in your dream?

Kate: N-nothing! Nothing at all!

Either out of anger or embarrassment, Kate's ears turn red and she runs away.

I watch her leave while holding back my laughter.

(Just one push away from it all tumbling down...)

(I wonder how long she can keep her bluff?)

(Well, it can go a little longer...I'm liking this little tug-o-war we have on whatever you'd call this relationship)

(But it's not gonna be a one-night dream if it falls to my side)

The end of the year.

A lot has happened for me this year, yet it feels like nothing happened at all.

My blog turned 10 years old this year. I got away from phone work. I started writing an actual story for my original setting very slowly, feeling like I have something to show even if not completed. I even made a blog for it.

To be upfront, my imposter syndrome has always been a lingering issue. I’ve been around for so long, yet I have always felt I have had nothing to show. It is not something I think I can kick due to my own depression, but a lot of people this year have made kicking it back easier.

So I am going to ramble off the cuff for a moment.

@team-pokefriends -you saying you binged my entire blog really meant a lot for me. It happened at the right time to, it was when I was at my lowest mentally so seeing someone go through everything made my heart skip a beat. Also fighting game enjoyers for real for real.

@feyvagabondart / @teammaxvolume as always you have continued to be one of the best allies in the community to me. I appreciate your enthusiasm and love for the community. I appreciate being able to work with you and everyone on the zine.

@lustrous-dawn - you have been my motivator for most of the year for me. Both out of respect for your ability as a writer, and envy. You put yourself out in the community this year in a big way this year, watching Zhen and Susanno interact with other blogs is great. I wish I could consistently interact with others as you did. You are still one of the most grounded in the community and a straight shooter to. I am excited to see what happens to those old birds.

@asksavel -I’ve mentioned before you were one of the reasons I started working on my blog. You and I have been talking more lately and you have been both engaging and helpful for my mental health after work turned ugly. That day was so helpful for me.

@ask-the-royal-absol - You made the community engaging with one of the most impactful in a long time. Destino has hit the community like a goddamn cannonball and it fun to see everyone get hit by the blast. Gwen and Destino interactions have been fun and I hope for more from them in the future.

@casteliacityramen You have given me a death grip in terms of the story I am 100% engaged with. Rio has become one of my favorite characters in the Pokeask community and I am eagerly checking any updates with the blog waiting to see what happens next. The reveal was probably one of the the biggest drops of the year.

@askcapital - one of the other story and characters that continues to grip me. The debut of Capital’s Hoopa form is one of the coolest moments. Their design is a winner and I want to learn more about them. I also appreciate your patience with me commissioning you a lot this year for a number of projects.

@breed-station - You have been one of the most approachable people for me this year. Not only for collaborating on the ask swap, but also for helping with the shiny dex to where I am now 88% complete with the dex. It has been fun touch trading and making that number tick higher.

@askleaderscrest - not only have you also been helpful with the shiny dex, but it has been great talking one on one with you. You have been grounded to talk to and you are someone I like to hear from for both blog and general adulting stuff. I always appreciate being able to talk on this kind of stuff.

@asktheisle you continue to be one of the most welcoming people to talk to. You remain engaging with Nat being a fun dynamic characters to watch. It was also amazing collaborating with you on the plot to unscramble Grohl’s brain.

I admit I am terrified for next year, but I can at least use this place as an escape. I know this community will help me move past what 2024 throws at me.

Here’s hoping for a better year.

Hello Chronocrump, I recently stumbled upon your art the other day, and I couldn't stop staring at your gallery.. It makes me realize there is so much thats lacking from my art that I really want to improve on. I felt desperate to contact you, but wasn't sure if it would be rude. I wanted to try to ask you, how do you approach drawing? Do you structure it first, or start with a gesture drawing? Focus on the form or perspective first? Etc My other question might seem strange, but I wanted to ask how do you hold your pencil? Ive learned that different pencil grips can drastically change the quality of someone's art. Thank you for your time. I'm sorry if my message is to long, or you don't want to respond back. I wanted to atleast try, but also let you know that your work has been very inspiring for me to keep trying.

I'm glad to answer your questions, it's seriously no problem. I wanna start by telling you how amazed I was when I checked your profile to see your work. I know you have a huge lack of confidence in it, but your art is genuinely beautiful, and frankly, looking at it, I found it hard to believe that you would be asking me for advice...from my perspective, you're way ahead of me. You're certainly better with color; you might notice I really only post sketches lol. I really don't want to dismiss or downplay your feelings about it, but I have to let you know how I felt looking at it. To me it seems like your brain is telling you your art isn't good enough when it very, very much is.

Anyway, enough gushing from me lol. On to your questions.

Usually when starting a drawing, I very loosely and lightly sketch the overall form of the pose I wanna do. Very rough basic shapes/forms to get everything in its right place before I start really drawing it with confident lines. Even then, all the lines are subject to change; nothing is sacred. To be honest tho, I usually mess up the proportions and have to fix them a bit lol. I try to sketch cleanly and concisely, meaning I try not to draw a lot of lines in a spot that could really be done with just one or two. I'm not super strict on that tho, at the end of the day while I try to draw efficiently, I also want to draw comfortably. So with something like a big circle for example, I'll draw that pretty sketchy. In terms of perspective, I'm trying to get better at it, but when considering how I want to use it in a drawing, it's part of the initial image or idea I have in my head, so I lay it out from the beginning. I do also draw structure lines on the face, just a simple cross to plan where the center of the face will be. Lately I've also tried taking more pictures of myself for pose reference and it works well.

Most of my practice comes from studying my favorite artists and trying to emulate the specific ways they structure their drawings. I should actually be doing dedicated practice sessions with that, but I digress. Recently I've been trying to practice from photos first thing in the morning, tho I'm finding it hard to commit to doing it daily. I just go on pinterest and find cool poses, then draw them, trying to get down the basic shapes and prominent features more than focusing on minute details. I've posted some of these practice sketches on here but there's a few more on my twitter if you wanna see what I'm talking about.

In terms of my pencil grip, I'm not sure...since I was little, I've always had an unusual grip. Looking it up, I guess it's like the "dynamic quadrupod" grip, but with my forefinger farther back. Really the most I try to do is draw less with my wrist and more with my forearm. Some say you should "draw from the shoulder", and that sounds right...I guess it's all about avoiding straining your wrist and getting carpal tunnel lol.

Anyway, I'm flattered that you would ask me for advice. To be honest, it makes me feel like I should have more confidence in my own art. And you should too! I can say that, objectively, your art is very good. I hope my advice was actually helpful and not generic stuff you've heard before lol. Good luck in your art journey.

Timing Is Everything.

Characters: Y/uta, G/ojo, I/numaki, M/aki, and P/anda. (feat. I/nuokku pairing implied <3) Word Count: 2.1k

Just a little gift for @ithadtobesneezing as she's been FEEDING us with Y/uta content <33

It's nothing amazing, but you've sparked the fire of love for your guy, so here's a lil something I hope you can enjoy~

All Characters 18+, picture early 20's AU (+ no bad stuff has happened <3)

(References to implied contagion, and high fever, and near fainting/dizziness, just incase anyone doesn't like those!)

~~~~~~~

A light breeze drifts through the air, the first hint of fall approaching. Summer had dragged on late into September, leaving the cool touch a welcome change to everyone. 

Almost everyone, that is. 

Burrowing deeper in his uniform, Yuta grits his teeth against the cold nestling in his bones. Despite the heat smothering him inside out, each chill seems to leave him trembling. Casting his gaze back to the field, it’s clear no one notices. Their attention is caught by the scene unfolding. 

Maki and Gojo are ‘sparring’, a term used loosely. More accurately, Maki is throwing things at Gojo’s infinity. Inumaki and Panda are both laughing, Panda cheering Maki on as Inumaki passes her more weapons to aim. Amidst the chaos, Yuta’s silence is largely overlooked. 

It’s not unusual for him to be a bit subdued during a meetup with his friends; being a special grade sorcerer has some deficits to go along with the profits. Still, he can’t help noticing that Gojo is right in the middle of the group, cheerful as ever despite his own long week. 

A pang of guilt finds its home in Yuta’s chest, the familiar burning leaping to his eyes. The feelings that always seem to grow in ferocity when his mind gets clouded. With a rough sniff, he rubs a sleeve across his face, sucking in a deep breath. Frustration swells, only dispelled when a gasp slips through his parted lips. 

He quickly ducks into his fist, massaging the twitching appendage before it blows his cover. Sunken eyes flicker back to the group, the breath he didn’t realize was trapped in his chest breaking free. They’re all still absorbed in their own world, Inumaki and Panda joining in on the game. 

Taking advantage of the privacy while it lasts, Yuta allows himself a deep sigh, his sleeve-coated hand scrubbing at his nose. The slow crawl of ticklish desire had been creeping its way deeper since this morning. 

He’d hoped to fight it off until he got home, or at least escaped from sight. The glimmer of light dancing across his face as a tear drifts down his flushed cheeks suggests no such hope should be dwelled on. 

“Yuutaaaa~” 

The tone is distinct, a melodic sound echoing throughout the yard. Sure enough, as Yuta raises his head from the safety of his hands, Gojo is waving him over. Maki and Panda are yelling about something he can’t quite make out, Inumaki holding up a popsicle stick figure with Panda’s head on it. 

Raising from his seat Yuta lurches forward, the floor beginning to shift under him. He instinctively drops his hand to steady himself, eyes squeezing shut. Once the world decides to let him off the unrequested roller coaster, his eyes begin to reopen. Relief floods his system as none of the others seem to pay him much mind. 

“I did not say that! In fact, I recall you were the one who filled out that report, therefore it was your responsibility to follow up.” Inumaki raises a Maki stick. 

“Oh really? Then why is your signature on the form?” Inumaki raises a Panda stick. 

“What?” Snatching the paper from his hands, Maki groans, aiming a swing at Panda’s chest. “You forged my signature again?!” 

Gojo’s simply watching, a childlike giggle bubbling from his chest as Inumaki raises the Panda stick once more. This time Maki knocks it from his hand, Inumaki glaring at her and huffing out, “Bonito flakes.” 

Once he’s sure the next step won’t realign the world, Yuta begins his trek across the mere feet between him and the others. His breath snags dangerously, the sensation nipping at his sinuses. A hand flies to his face, catching his nose and tightening against the onslaught. 

Catching Inumaki’s eyes, Yuta feels his hand snap back to his side. A single sniffle is all he allows himself before taking in a rush of air and painting his usual timid smile across his cheeks. Inumaki stares for a second longer, but ultimately shakes it off, raising an arm to gesture him closer. 

“What are they arguing about this time?” Yuta asks, aiming the question towards Gojo as Maki takes another swing at Panda’s legs. He’d heard it all quite clearly from the chair, but each vibration from his throat seems to bring new levels of itch to his breath. Best to give Gojo a chance to start rambling. 

For a moment Yuta’s convinced he’s been caught. Normally that kind of question would get Gojo bouncing as he gives a play by play. Today, instead, he simply shrugs, tilting his head just enough to let a single brilliant blue peek from behind his glasses. 

Yuta meets the look with a smile, letting his eyes flutter shut to sell the lie, ignoring the watering that begins as soon as his lashes touch down. It seems to work, however, Gojo yelling something nonsensical at Maki, strutting over with a raised hand. 

The itch chooses this moment to begin another resurgence, scratching through his restraint with a hungry determination. Yuta risks a glance at Inumaki, who appears preoccupied with fixing his popsicle stick Panda. Gojo is still shouting, Maki echoing the noises as she chases Panda around. 

“hHehh!” The hitch breaks through his control, unnoticed by the group. Deciding this is the ideal time to smother one without being caught, Yuta twists himself away from the group, raising an arm to his face. With the other he clutches his shoulder, bracing himself against the fierce tickle. 

“Hey Yuta, we want you to break a tie.” 

Panic grips Yuta’s chest as the field suddenly falls silent, each hitch spouting from his lips seeming to shatter against the peaceful quiet. He attempts to pry open his eyes, to no avail. After permission was given, the sneeze was far too strong to hold off anymore. 

“hH’ihhTZZdj’ehhh-!” 

All eyes turn to him, a shimmering ocean beginning to well in his own. Before he can utter a word, his breath catches in his throat. “ihHKzzTSChhiyeww-!” This time he only manages to raise a single hand, bending over with the force of the pitchy whine that bursts forth.

As the earth begins to tilt again, Yuta drops to his knees, only steading himself as a hand grips his shoulder. Keeping his eyes tightly closed, Yuta leans his head against it. After a minute the buzzing fades from his ears, and he slowly rejoins the world. 

He expects to see a few faces of disgust, maybe some anger. To his surprise, no one seems to be looking his way at all. Maki’s yelling something at Gojo, attempting to whack him with her staff. His infinity blocks it easily, though he looks distraught anyways. 

“-are you aiming that at me?! I didn’t do anything!” 

“You-” Maki pauses to swipe Panda off his feet behind her, returning her glare to Gojo as the sound of fur hitting grass sounds off. “You ‘didn’t do anything’? You got him sick!”

Gojo huffs, crossing his arms with an indignant look. “You and Inumaki were sick just a few days ago, how do you know you didn’t get him sick?” The smirk he’s wearing suggests he’s proud of this little deduction, but Maki simply growls in response. 

There’s a break from the conversation as Yuta ducks towards the ground again, raising his arm to catch a fatigued “hH’KNchhZZSHyeww-!”, so few sneezes already sucking all the energy from his body.

Inumaki’s hand tightens on his shoulder, Yuta humming a soft “Thanks.” 

“Maybe we did, remind me for a minute though,” Maki says with a sigh aimed towards the duo, swinging her weapon towards Gojo again. “Who got us sick?”

The sheepish look scrawled across Gojo’s face says it all, and Maki lets up on her assault, instead learning against her pole. “I already had to deal with Inumaki’s symptoms.” 

A vaguely offended, “Salmon roe.” sounds from where Inumaki’s crouched, Maki shooting him a soft look. 

“Sorry- Look, okay, I just don’t want to deal with-” 

“hH’TzzzcSHHyieew-!” Yuta interrupts, groaning faintly as the force of it sends his head careening into his arm far harsher than he’d expected. 

“With that,” Maki finishes, gesturing to Yuta’s trembling form. 

As Yuta gears up for another outburst, Inumaki lightly rubs his arm, humming something unintelligible under his breath. “hH’TIezzsshh’kiew-!” 

Once he’s sure this one didn’t readjust the world too much, Inumaki raises his gaze from Yuta to shoot a glare at Maki. She raises her hands in mock surrender, grumbling under her breath. It quickly fades as Yuta dissolves into a fit of coughing that leaves him gasping for air, Inumaki dropping back to his side. 

“Okay, okay, sorry…” Maki sighs, Yuta managing to catch a glimpse of concern in her eyes as his cough fades enough for a full breath. Maki continues with a softer tone, “I didn’t mean that. I just…” 

Yuta gives her a weary smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I know. It’s… it…” His eyes drift over her shoulder, vision starting to swim. He manages a breath, dancing the edge of control as the tickle retreats. 

“Sorry, thought I was…” Yuta hums, breathless as he attempts to continue the sentence, quickly dissolving into stammering, voice stolen by the pinprick itch spreading through his nose. “Wait, no I am… I’m… I’m uh… hH’yieTZZzshhYEWW-!” 

This time Yuta feels himself tipping forward, the world around him softening at the edges. The grounding touch against his shoulder begins to slip away, a dark sensation touching the corners of his thoughts. Just before he loses consciousness, a sharp pain cuts through the darkness, pulling him back to the light. 

Inumaki’s still gripping his shoulder, but the ache radiates from his face. Managing to get a grasp of his surroundings, Yuta finds Maki kneeling in front of him. Her hand is hovering in the air, as if she was unsure where to leave it. 

“Did… you slap me..?” Yuta manages, voice wavering with a mixture of relief and fatigue.

“Did you just nearly faint?” Comes the retort, Maki’s own voice not as solid as it would normally be. There’s a quiver to it that wasn’t there a minute ago, her eyes burning into his skull with an intensity not unlike her.

Still, there was something different to this gaze. Something distinctly afraid. Blushing under his gaze, she huffs. “You should be thanking me."

Opening his mouth, Yuta attempts to oblige, instead only managing a whimper as his lungs begin to spasm again. 

Maki watches for a minute, glare still pointed at him, before finally she lets up. “Oh just forget it, okay? Just… just try to breathe. You’re alright.” Her tone is soft, a single finger gently brushing some hair away from his eyes. “I think you have a fever, have you taken anything?” 

The silence is an answer, just as true as any sounds would be. At this admission, Maki turns to Panda with a pointed look. Panda gives a thumbs up, running off towards the school to grab some supplies Shoko still keeps there. Attention back on Yuta’s fragile state, Inumaki gently tucks an arm around his back, raising him to a standing position. 

They stand for a minute, Maki securing herself on the other side before beginning the walk back to the school. Yuta holds his breath, a strangled sob dying in his throat as tears begin to pour. At this, Inumaki begins humming again, something quiet and soft. Maki copies the tune, rolling her eyes with a barely contained smile. 

“Where was this softness when I was sick?” Gojo calls, the trio whipping around, nearly toppling Yuta in the process. Both supporters cast glares Gojo’s way, Yuta too busy righting the world in his head to copy their motions. 

“When you were sick you were clinging to our legs and rubbing your germs on everything.” 

Gojo pouts, attempting to sniffle, and instead simply inhaling. “I was sick! None of you did anything for me, I just needed som-” He’s quickly cut off by Maki tossing a dagger at his chest, infinity stopping it easily. Still, he gasps in mock hurt, chuckling as this earns him another (attempted) blow to the gut. 

Yuta soon forgotten, Maki lunges back towards him, daring him to drop infinity and fight her head on. The rest of the battle fades into the background as Inumaki positions himself on the ground, pulling Yuta down beside him. 

A yawn sneaks out from Yuta’s jaw, his eyes beginning to pool again. The same breath turns into a hitch, Yuta muffling a “hieH’tzZZchhyEW-!” into Inumaki’s chest. 

Inumaki hums gently into his ear in lieu of a blessing. Then, draping his arm around Yuta’s shoulder, Inumaki pulls him close, running his fingers through Yuta’s messy hair. 

By the time Panda gets back with the medication, Yuta and Inumaki are asleep, dozing to the soft sounds of Maki and Gojo’s sparring. 

Even through the tangled mess of limbs, Inumaki’s arm remains protectively draped across Yuta’s back.

EJ rambles about Iron Leaguer, Iron Leaguer aus, and the horror of no longer having ownership of your own body.

Spoilers ahead for Iron Leaguer, Fools Gold, and The Amazing Digital Circus

A throughline through all of my iron leaguer aus seems to be "leaguers getting heavily modified without their consent" and it was not intentional but it is something I like the idea of. Like. The kind of existential horror of it all. Of not being able to trust your own body. Of it not being yours.

With my oc, Bronze, he has to slowly come to terms with the fact his body is not his own. Like at all. He got hit by a car and his owners just kidnapped the closest leaguer and shoved his surviving parts into him. And now he has to live with the guilt that his continued existence is at the detriment to someone else.

My fools gold au has Quinn-ora heavily modifying random leaguers, leaguers she kidnapped. Inflicting them with viruses to slowly take over their memories and personalities for her own benefit.

And my tadc au. Caine is definitely *more* ethical than Quinn-ora as he breaks into places and takes Iron Soldiers to mod, but at the end of the day he doesn't consider them people. He puts arbitrary limitations into their systems. He actively modifies their memories and personalities for his own personal gain. He toys with them because he doesn't see them as people, just his latest engineering project.

I do like this idea. The existential dread of realising that you hold no power over your own body. You know things have changed. You know it's not right. But do you even remember what's correct? Do you even know who you were before this? How can you tell those memories haven't been tampered with. How can you know that you ever made them to begin with. Just how much of you has been changed without you realising? Just how much can be changed while still staying the same person. If you replace every part are you the same leaguer? What do you do when you need maintenance. You can't deny it. You need it. But when you next check yourself will you be the same? Maybe you've have a plate swapped. A hand. An eye. A face. Maybe a harddrive. Are you sure you were always like this? So touchy? So anxious? Did they make you like this? Of course they did. But was it because what they're doing to your body or... Or what they could be doing to your mind.

You want to leave. You can't stand the thought of staying. Not after everything they've done. But as you approach the exit in the dead of night. You hesitate. Doubt floods your mind. Your resolve starts to waver. You're just overreacting...

Or that's what they want you to think. They planted those thoughts in your head.

No of course not that's insane

But you know SOMETHING'S going on. You can't stay here that's for certain.

You try to open to door, but your hand won't turn the knob. It just. It won't. You want to. You have every desire to. But. Something in the back of your head stops you from even trying.

And then then your legs buckle under you. You fall to your knees. The lights in the room turn on (or were they always like that?), and you're just knelt there, gripping a doorknob. Pathetically.

Your owner spots the light and enters the room. They question what's going on. Gently, they help you up. They ask what's wrong. Suddenly, all the feelings come flowing out, all the worries and fears and doubts. They comfort you, tell you that you're worried over nothing, but you're welcome to leave at any point.

You thank them as they guide you back to your charging dock. The owner is so nice, what were you even worried about?

Nevermind... It's not important.

Buying Crystals - Capitalist Spirituality

Part 6 of 7 for a guide on buying crystals. Read the rest here!

Another sad entry in this series. Spiritual people and people who involve crystals in their spiritual practices are uniquely situated to be scammed hard by people using their spirituality against them. However, this is easy to avoid if you understand the language people use to make crystals more appealing.

Case Study

You may remember Heaven and Earth LLC from a prior part on trademarks. This is an example from them, copied from this page:

This interesting stone from off the coast of Africa appears to be a banded mixture of white Quartz and purple Amethyst, with v-shaped patterning. When we checked the energies, we were amazed to recognize that it vibrated in the frequencies of Azeztulite! This discovery confirmed what the Azez––the guardian angelic group soul responsible for all the Azeztulites––had foretold. Continent-by-continent, the energies of the Nameless Light are penetrating and activating more and more varieties of Quartz in an increasing number of locations. This process, and all the energies moving toward Planetary Vibrational Ascension, appears to have been accelerated, just as the Azez foretold.

Amazez can purify one’s field in a way that makes possible conscious interaction with higher beings on many spiritual planes. The angels, and even the Azez themselves, can more readily approach one who has been purified by this stone. Amazez is also an excellent stone for out-of-body travel, raising one’s vibration high enough to transcend the body while simultaneously protecting one from negative influences.

This rock is labeled as “Azozeo Super-Activated.”

Analysis of Case Study

This is chevron amethyst (”mixture of white Quartz and purple Amethyst, with v-shaped patterning”) likely from Madagascar (” from off the coast of Africa”).

Notice how the only physical description they give of the crystal is “banded mixture of white Quartz and purple Amethyst, with v-shaped patterning,” the dimensions, and the weight. Most of the description is focused on telling the story, of “checking the energies” and finding its “frequencies” matched these “Azez,” a “guardian angelic group soul.” They discuss this “Nameless Light” that moves energies towards “Planetary Vibrational Ascension.” Then they provide the metaphysical use of the crystal.

What does this listing tell you? Do you feel moved that such a powerful crystal is being sold? Do you feel like you’ll be able to achieve your goals much easier if you have it? Do you feel like possessing this crystal will allow you to raise your own vibrations? Does “Azozeo Super-Activat[ion]” make you feel like this crystal has more worth than a similar product?

Further, nowhere on the page do they disclose the crystal’s origin. I supposed that its from Madagascar, since I’ve seen chevron amethysts come from there. But no, this listing comes from the mystical, magical land of *~Africa~*. Do you think you will a) get an ethically sourced crystal and/or b) get a good deal by buying from this dealer? I think not. 

This is nowhere near unique to this company, as one of my previous posts on andara crystals will tell you. Everyone does this because it works. I don’t blame people who fall for it because they are the victims here. They have been told that a hunk of glass that promises to improve everything is worth a college semester of money. No, it is the fault of the sellers, who may also be just as duped as their customers, but may full well know what they’re peddling and continue to exploit people with a belief because they can wring hundreds and thousands of dollars from them in exchange for something worth much less.

Snake oil really hasn’t changed; it's only crystallised. 

Red Flag Terms

The biggest red flag for me when buying crystals is emphasising metaphysical properties. This is not to knock using crystals for spirituality; I’d be a hypocrite if I was knocking it. However, suppose you already believe in this stuff. In that case, you’re more likely to believe these crystals are more valuable because they’re “supercharged” or “encoded with Pleiadean messages.”

As with part one on ethics, a seller that will not disclose the source of their crystals, either openly or after being asked, is also suspect, which many of these New Age-flavoured sellers will not do.

You should also look out for several words and phrases in both the titles and description of listings, since sellers will use them to try and make you think their products are worth more than they actually are.

Activation, codes, encoding, downloads, attunement, upgrade.

Vibration, higher vibration, 4D-12D, multidimensional, higher dimension/density.

Ascension, ascended master[s].

Shaman[ic], chakra[s], reiki, [K/Q]ab[b]ala[h], Elohim, other appropriated practices and terms.

Using the name or image of minority groups unassociated with the crystal, often but not exclusively indigenous groups, portraying these groups to be more magical or “closer to the Earth” to make the crystal seem. more magical or powerful by association.

Any stars, planets, or constellations (Sirian, Arcturian, Lyran, Pleidean, Venusian, etc); galactic, elestial, celestial, cosmic; starseed, cosmic family, High Council.

Lemuria, Atlantis, Mu, other “lost civilisations”; Egypt (when the crystal did not originate there).

[Arch]angel, specific angel names (Michael, Raphael, Metatron), divine presence, Christ consciousness, God frequency, names of saints and prophets (St. Germain).

Astral projection, aura[s], akashic record[s], past life recall, scalar light, twin flame, [rainbow/crystalline/master] energy, Mt. Shasta, vortex.

Rainbow, indigo (in tandem or not with the actual appearance of the crystal).

Gaia, Thoth, other gods.

Fairy, fae, any kind of spirit.

Mon[o]atomic, quantum, DNA, other misused scientific terms.

Merlin, sorcerer[’]s stone, magic[k[al]], healing.

If you see these terms, think: if these terms weren’t here, would I still want to buy this crystal at all/at this price?

The next part will end the guide, and serve both as a summary of points as well as where you actually go to buy crystals and how to go about it.

Jumbled Thoughts: Trauma in Fantasy Media, Featuring The Owl House

So trauma in the real world is complicated and surprisingly easy to be afflicted by. Anything intense, threatening, or violent can cause it in at least the short term. It causes an intense emotional reaction much of the time, ranging from completely shutting down as a person for a while to feeling compelled to do everything in your power to stop it from ever happening. An easy example of this might be that you even just SEE someone being stabbed and that shakes you to your core and you run away. In a fantasy setting, you get stabbed... You punch the fucker in the face and finish the fight. Someone threatens to tear you limb from limb if you don’t give them your secrets? Spit in their eye and tell them that your friends are coming and when they get there, you’ll wish you’d never been born. Monster’s acid blood melts through your armor? Who cares? You’re the one who stepped into its maw briefly to stab it where it was unprotected and you now walk out triumphant, if in need of new pants. This is more a feature not a bug of fantasy media though. If the threats in most fantasy media were taken seriously, put to what we would expect of actual reality, most heroes would be considered homicidal maniacs, most people would live in constant fear of goblins and the whole place would just suck in general. Most fantasy media isn’t looking to do that. It’s to present a world far beyond our own, with problems familiar but fantastical that can be taken out in a wide range of ways to promote character growth, challenge, etc. It’s part of what makes fantasy hard for many to approach, especially fantasy adventure, let alone fantasy, comedy adventure where many of these points made me played for laughs, but also what makes it so appealing to fantasy junkies like me. I ADORE a good fantasy story. One that embraces its elements, explores the wonders and mixes in a few fights here and there when possible. It’s probably why the first season of both Amphibia and The Owl House are pieces of media I ADORE. Amphibia has this wonderful world where the monsters are so normal that if you heard news they plucked three from town last night, you would probably ask that they move onto something actually interesting. Meanwhile, in The Owl House’s first season, if your best friend was suddenly pickled in a jar and being sold to you and told it was done entirely legally, you’d probably understand because everyone is running a grift and trying to scam you. Some highlights from The Owl House season 1 that’s also actually important context for what I’m going to talk about going forward: (if you want to skip these, look for the next bit of highlighted text about what DOES cause trauma in fantasy media) A monster hunter who’s dream since being a child has been to shove kids off a cliff. He admits that he was a weird kid but then gleefully pushes the main characters to their dooms, for them to only be saved by a branch. It’s amazing. The main character gets into a magical duel they have no way of winning except for traps laid down by their mentor. When asked what they’re doing, they just candidly shout, “TRYING NOT TO DIE!” In a grand moment of social commentary, a book publisher reveals that when his authors don’t meet deadlines, he crunches them. No, not like that. He puts them in a cube and if they don’t finish the book, it shrinks until they are a cube. And yes, the main character and a member of their found family are put in this situation and barely escape in time. Honestly, barely worse than actual crunch culture.

So if this is how traumatizing, life threatening moments are treated in fantasy... What does cause trauma in a fantasy setting? Well, you have effectively three flavors of trauma you can go with. 1. Backstory Trauma: This is the widest version of trauma in fantasy settings mostly because the damage done can commonly be the most extreme and the effects the most undermined as just a character flaw, not entirely a trauma response. It’s commonly something to justify why they’re angry or warns of something irrational they may do in the future. This is your classic “Big Bad ruined my life” situations. You know “For you, it was the day your parents died, but for me... It was a Tuesday.” The character who still wants vengeance for their parents is going to punch him in the face but the character who was cowed by the big bad by the events might actually be convinced their cause is hopeless and temporarily defect. This is also where you get all the rogues who sit in the corner of the tavern just waiting to tell their tales as they brood away from the rest of the party and I ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME TO PLAY D&D STEVE! 2. “I was too late” trauma: This is the one that can commonly be used for backstory trauma but is also just as likely to come up in story. A character plans, prepares, etc. like that and in the time they were planning, a catastrophe happens that they arrive JUST too late to have stopped. Bonus points if the threat was actually smaller than they had expected and thus the planning was unnecessary. This commonly leads to a fatalistic emboldening of the character. If I could have gotten there in time, then the mistake than the planning. Period. So they act more on their own, don’t gather intel, don’t bring everything they should, etc. like that until finally their lack of preparedness brings them head to head with a creature they SHOULD have been able to fight if they were thinking normally. However, because they’ve decided their actions cannot be questioned, they didn’t read obvious warning signs and are now likely to be killed themselves. After this trauma is usually a tempering of the character. They show signs of the trauma by having quick remedies to a lot of things (this is going to be your diplomat with three hidden knives on their person but it’s not for a gag) so that they require less prep time. So that if a situation calls for immediate action, they are less likely to stumble into a trap ill prepared but also don’t need to work for an hour to have everything they need to face it. 3. “I was tricked” trauma: This is actually probably THE MOST COMMON sort of fantasy trauma... And the most infuriating because it’s really easy to do wrong. But before I get into its issues, what is it? It’s the classic “Bad guy tells good guy while in disguise thing is X. Good guy goes and helps bad guy because he thinks he is doing a good thing for someone in need of help. When good guy is done, X turns out either to be exactly what the bad guy needed or is actually some incredibly cursed, evil artifact. Either way, good guy suddenly leads to a LOT of people dead.” It’s also a very classic backstory trauma for old hero turned evil with this having been why they disappeared some time ago. This is because of WHY it’s done. Most heroes, especially fantasy heroes, are fairly paragon in their behavior. If there is a wrong happening, it must be righted. This makes it easy to trick them, so the bad guy is exploiting a known weakness in their foe, and causes a crises in themselves when the task is over. After all, how can your morals be good when they can be used for such evil? When done right, it’s actually a lot more about what the thing released was rather than the act of helping the villain. After all... They were tricked. No one can say their actions were wrong because they had literally no reason to question their actions. This isn’t like with planning where there are pros and cons. If you’re told that this good object will save a dying town and then face melts everyone, that’s not on you. That’s the bad guy being an asshole. Move the fuck on. BUT. The hero getting to see a bunch of people face melted as a direct response to their actions? That can be more compelling. Not great, but more compelling. You can have them grow inherently distrustful of magical artifacts, maybe even their own equipment, especially if this was an alternate use for an otherwise benign artifact. It can be a moment when a naive hero goes into a blood rage as the depravity of the villain is thrown into their face and they are shown just how much crueler the big bad is than the normal assholes they face. BUT. When done wrong... (If you want to skip this, you can, just go to the next bold text) Let’s Talk About Luz, the main character in The Owl House,  Being Tricked By Phillip Whitebane. Season 2 spoilers for The Owl House. So, quick synopsis: Luz goes back in time to get help with finding a way home after having destroyed her own. There she finds the human who originally built a portal between the human realm. He sweet talks Luz into helping him get a relic that she’s theoretically looking for and then reveals that “No, I just needed bait for the artifact’s guardian. Now please go die while I peace out.” Said artifact’s effects are unknown to Luz at this time. She just thinks she accidentally helped some asshole. This is until, in the Big Bad of the show’s mind, it’s revealed Phillip and him are one and the same! So she inadvertently helped him in the past do... Something. What? Still don’t know by that point actually but she already hates herself for it. For helping a dude get a random artifact and that dude eventually being the big bad. Worse yet, this wasn’t something she specifically had to do. The artifact’s guardian isn’t attracted to humans over magical creatures anyway, it was just a beast. He actually complains that the last person he used as bait died too quickly. She was just the pawn he eventually found and it’s convenient she was a time traveler that episode. She sped up his time to find this artifact by like a couple months, not was the only way he could get it. But... Going forward, this is a secret she will treat as if it were some mortal sin. That somehow literally everyone would hate her for having done this. You know... Despite the fact that she had someone who LITERALLY WAS THE BIG BAD’S RIGHT HAND WOMAN FOR THE FIRST SEASON with her and encouraging this the entire time. Mind you, by the time she has decided that this is a traumatic moment, she doesn’t know how important the artifact is. I won’t spoil what it is other than it is important but she has already set the stakes without knowing if the artifact she got even directly led to the person becoming the big bad. Without knowing if any lives were lost because of it. Hell, because she ended up beating the guardian beast, she could even make a claim to have saved the lives of any and all who Phillip would have used anyways. And again, she didn’t do this alone. She was a hero doing hero things for reasonable reasons for a person who, when helping them, she has no reason to think is any worse than any of the asshole who tried to kill her in season 1. Now if someone wanted to make the case that she was still selfish in her actions here... In literally the second episode, her desire to be special and live by the rules of a fantasy world in a video game leads to her almost dying while she is tricked into being bait for her mentor and someday found family mother to be brought out to her death. Her selfish desires, while also being told she was doing something positive, DIRECTLY led to the endangerment of someone taking care of her and almost got herself killed. She acts a little sad about this before her mentor cheers her up and they MOVE ON. Worse yet, this trauma, if taken seriously, should make Luz not want to act as much on her own or for her own goals. Those are things that directly led to the mistake. If she wants to repentant for these things, thinks that doing this sort of mistake is beyond redemption, she should shift her behavior accordingly. Or, you know, constantly for the rest of the season continue to believe in her actions above all, act on her own, etc. like that. Because TRAUMA! Right? Well...

Why this example? Why any of this if traumatic events are usually ignored in fantasy media?

For the same reason they’re used in any story: To challenge a character and commonly lead to character growth. To put a character in a position that challenges them and their normal motives in a way that is incredibly emotional and demands a response. Demands they do something in accordance to what had happened before. It’s also commonly set to challenge the core of the character because the drama of an event that even the audience may accept is traumatic needs to be a big deal. It can’t be ignored. As a note, this is part of why Women in Refrigerators is so awful because it’s very cheap, quick trauma that is commonly unnecessary and doesn’t actually add to the character or challenge them. That’s also the problem with half assing your trauma or not thinking about the source. In real life, trauma LITERALLY DEMANDS A RESPONSE. There’s a reason it’s called a trauma response when someone gets triggered and shuts down. Or fights. Or does anything that is correlated to the past pain they had felt and are now being reminded of and possibly re-experiencing. Because trauma is related to intense emotional pain usually coinciding with a threat against your life. That’s why something as simple as a car crash can be traumatizing. Since I got in my last crash, which came out of nowhere as I tried to get out of a restaurant and onto the street, I have definitely demanded more clearance than I did before before doing anything like that again. A part of my brain is just hardwired to be worried that if I don’t check five times, I’ll have a truck suddenly smash the side of whoever’s car I’m driving. It wasn’t even a bad crash. The dude had turned through an intersection near where I was coming out and so it was just kind of “Sucks but not much that could have been done about it” situation done at fairly low speeds. It still affected me though because I don’t live in a fantasy world. Brushes with threats don’t happen to me very often. Not so true for characters who even spend a few months in a reasonably dangerous fantasy world. You have to get used to it... Or die. Become nothing because the strain of looking over your shoulder would become too much. Which is why I chose that example. Yes, it’s a kid’s show so they can’t go too far (I say in a show where they have ripped off someone’s arm permanently now and symbolically shown the corpses of a dozen past incarnations of a character to that character) but this is still bad. There is no satisfying arc to fixing the trauma, because anyone with two braincells would tell the character experiencing it that they were tricked and they don’t hold it against them like they claim they would, and there is no satisfying change to the character because of it because they double down on the behavior that caused the mistake, not the other way around, and not for particularly any good reason except they’re the main character so they need to keep doing things. And when fantasy does trauma like that... Well, for as much as I love the genre, I can’t really blame anyone who questions why I do. ======== I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

Hi if you're taking requests may I request a Yandere Henrik x reader where they're his new nurse and he becomes really obsessed with them

It ended up being longer than anticipated XD I know little to nothing about nursing and the medical practice in general, aside from my own experiences, so a whole friggin lot of this will probably be wrong. But thank you for requesting ^~^ yanderes be out here doing the worst. And we are all (me included) for some reason here for it.

@thattiredanimator1t0mblr @viciouslyyearning @serenitydusk

Word Count: 1,461

Becoming a nurse was something you always wanted to do. And you dreamed of being able to travel further from your little town, but you had to start small! There were a couple hospitals in your town, but one was bigger and dealt with more surgical procedures than the other. Being a surgical nurse seemed terrifying, but being able to start as an assistant rather than the full surgical nurse title couldn’t be so bad, right? You’ll have to go through more training, but it’ll give you time to get used to it! 

You were sure there were many applicants, but you were on the list to interview with the hiring manager, and then the head doctor in the larger establishment! It was equal parts exciting…and terrifying. You smoothed out your outfit, and went through the interview without a problem! You had amazing grades in school, and the hiring manager seemed a little apathetic. Hopefully not everyone here would be…and that fear was extinguished when you met the head doctor during the next part of the interview process. 

Dr. Schneeplestein was charismatic. Tired, but seemed warm hearted underneath that. He seemed to like you too, and within the week, you were hired! Those days waiting for a call were agonizing, but worth it in the end. You were over the moon, and already had scrubs and everything picked out! You even made sure to arrive a good few minutes early. Can’t be running late on your first day. 

When you watched surgeries, there were always at least three other nurses in the room. They talked to you quietly to inform you on the process, knowing you hadn’t been a surgical nurse before. It was nerve-wracking at first but over time you got used to it. The tools, the terms, and feelings all surrounding a surgery that you’d only read in your books now make more sense being exposed to them before having to actually use them. 

You didn’t see Dr. Sneep as he insisted on being called, much outside of shadowing him. If only you knew…how he’d been shadowing you too. But in a much, much different way. He turned down nearly every other applicant, once he had seen your excitement when it came to the job. You were new, and barely knew how things worked in an actual hospital. So when he said you’d be his only nurse in one of the following procedures, you simply took it as his way of saying you were ready for the job. Sink or swim. 

He was giving you a chance, and you weren’t one to mess it up! Even if you were pretty nervous about it, you chalked it up to being the first surgery nerves. It…couldn’t be too bad. You might mess up the surgery…but Dr. Schneep would be there. It would be okay! He wasn’t the head doctor for no reason, after all. If you were going to make a mistake, he would be there to correct it. Help you learn to be a better nurse!

The room was well lit, and after washing your hands thoroughly you had made your way into the operating room. He was waiting there, and had a patient on the table. It seemed like he was ready to begin the procedure, and you approached to figure out what kind of surgery it would be. 

He smiled behind his mask, which you could still see through the way his eyes and cheeks raised. “Hello, are you ready to begin? This one should be simple, a knee replacement. All the tools we need are laid out already, and the patient is sedated.” He pointed to his side, and said thoughtfully “It’ll be okay. The surgery will work out according to plan.” 

From there, it was mostly quiet. A few commands from him, but overall it didn’t seem as stressful as you expected it to be. Though you were so focused, you jumped a couple times when he spoke after several moments of silence. It got easier though, and it helped you weren’t doing too much of anything. He did still let you take the lead on some parts, but other than that he did most of the work. 

At the final stitch you did, it was over! You let out a sigh of relief, and smiled at him through your mask. “We did it! My first surgery…it went a lot better than I anticipated.” A couple small laughs and you looked over to him. But he wasn’t laughing. Just staring at you with the calculating eyes you’d seen all of the surgery. 

“Oh no, we’re not finished yet. No one’s here, no cameras or observation rooms.” He gestured to the person laying on the table, “I’d like to ask you something before we went back into the craziness.” He set his tools down, and faced you fully. “How long do you intend to stay with this hospital? I know in your interview, you mentioned potentially expanding.” His tone wasn’t warm, but you chalked it up to the stress of surgery. 

“Well…” It was odd he was asking you now, but didn’t think too much of it. It was…weird that a surgical room would have no cameras. Isn’t that a violation of some kind? It’s weird, but probably not unheard of. “I was hoping to get a transfer after working here for a good few months or so! I’ve been wanting to look in bigger cities for a while now.” You smiled and he smiled too, but his eyes were darker. Maybe the exhaustion really was getting to him. 

“Could I persuade you to stay?” His tone lacked any indicators on what he was feeling. It wasn’t happy, stressed, relieved or any of it. Just a straightforward emotionless question. “You’ll be an asset to this team. You show real promise. You’ve always wanted to be a nurse, and this could be your place to do it.” 

“Oh no, I’m not saying I don’t want to work here, but a bigger city is more ideal for me! I’d like to live closer to everything.” You laughed a couple times, and looked at your watch but he put your hand back down before you could even get a glance of the time. “Uh…Dr. Schneep? Something wrong?” His gaze wasn’t quite…a glare. But it definitely wasn’t anything positive. 

You stood in silence a good few seconds, when he sighed and dropped his gaze down to the medical tools. “Such a shame. Wanting to leave when the two of us were finally getting close.” He moved his mask down and you were met with a cold scowl. “I wonder what the medical field will think of you, if you ripped all these stitches open as you were placing the scalpel.” He chuckled, with his look still dark. “No one would ever hire you in the medical field again.” 

“Dr. Schneep? What…do you mean?” His aura had grown darker, much different than his usual composed expressions. “You’re not making any sense…” You hoped it was some kind of joke, but everything about it seemed too real. It was a serious threat. If he told the hospital about this you wouldn’t get to live out your dream! 

He tilted his head slightly and replied “I mean you’re not leaving the hospital, or me. I could also tell any amount of story to remove you from the medical field. Where would you go then, hm? What would you do?” He took a step closer, and you took a step back. “Go back to school? Find a new passion?” He had walked you into a corner, literally and figuratively. 

Dr. Schneep raised a brow, waiting for your response. You couldn’t get a word out, the only sound you made being the near silent sound of your tears hitting the hard tile floor. It gave him all the answers he needed. You wouldn’t leave, you cared about your job too much. But what could make a man like him just…snap. He had always been so kind to you, what changed? 

“You’re going to be my head nurse from now on. If you so much as said a word about this…”agreement” then you’ll be out of a job, living in that studio apartment of yours all alone with no way to pay rent.” 

“How…do you know what kind of apartment I live in?” He was insane! Completely delusional! You were backed into a corner by a madman. He had lost his mind, and completely changed your view of him forever. You just wish others would see him that way…maybe then you could escape him. But for now, his words will be ingrained in you for the rest of your days. 

“Because I love you, of course.” 

Eeee so I can't pick a favorite between Ashley and Andrew but when I was playing it I definitely saw Ashley as sorta yandere vibes? Like yknow with the girl dying in the box was the primary example, Andrew going along with it too was like 👀 because why would he go along with killing someone unless he was either The Biggest Doormat (which i definitely understand seeing the creator's notes) or he was also vaguely yandere but not acknowledging it. There's a lot of toxicity between them obviously and a lot of trauma (not sure where from aside from whole being locked in the apartment for Hecc knows how long and maybe neglectful parents) but they seem to be reading the same book but they're not the same page if that makes sense. Andrew probably also has some Older Sibling syndrome going on there because he cares about Ashley if reluctantly sometimes and takes responsibility for things, while Ashley makes sense as the younger sibling (as an older sister myself it at least was recognizable with how Andrew was telling Ashley she had to realize what they'd done at the end of the chapter) and with the whole demon thing it made me wonder what the talisman will show Ashley or if there will be more complicated horror with the two of them encountering more cultists or if their parents had something to do with the issue because I definitely agree on the whole sus mom thing

All in all I love how the game gives us enough information to see kind of where it could go but doesn't spoil the plot and the Coffin part of the title definitely gave me 4th wall thoughts similar to Homestuck. The apartment/demon occult based horror is similar to Sally Face too so it just took the gremlins and made me super interested in the story. If i ever write anything i'll definitely send it to you!! I work as a writer off of tumblr for a larp company currently though so my brain is a bit fried but I love this game a lot and it was super interesting to see what was going on in the story 👀

Thank you !!! Don't overheat your brain anymore than necessary to survive in the techno capitalist hellscape singularity we are currently in but if you do find the time to write anything that would be amazing :D

And now to answer everything else:

I love both siblings for their own reasons I really do but I fell in love with Andrew the moment I saw him because brocon tendencies defeat all sorts of common sense immediately for me

Yeah Ashley totally fits into the yandere archetype except she's more real I would say and she's definitely more western than full on anime like

I say she's more real because she's actually shown to struggle a lot with socialization and with her parents and just seems to be rejected by the world around her because of her personality instead of just being a random girl who somehow exists with that behavior and it's okay

Yeah I actually don't really understand Andrew's motivations for going along with stuff all that deeply I always feel like there's something I'm missing with him but mostly I just see it as well he genuinely really cares for his sister and doesn't want to see her in distress and he's super codependent as well and cannot lose and he's a pushover too and finds it easier to go along and blame her for everything instead of standing up to her and risk losing her and then having to confront himself

As Ashley did say she's the only person he can be real with so he can't stand to lose her

I also totally think he's yandere on his own right like maybe yandere wouldn't be the right term for him because he definitely doesn't present himself at first as more approachable like Ashley does but he's still super overprotective of her

Like straight up one of the like 7 times the Rage sprite is used twice are just for the time where Ashley makes the comment about getting pregnant from their neighbor

So yeah they are both yanderes for each other and we love that for them

Personally I see the trauma from them steming from yeah killing that girl that's definitely not something you can just walk off but also from their parents seeming to be very detached and neglectful of them and also from Ashley specifically I see her as somebody who's never managed to have a long lasting relationship of any type with anybody other than Andrew

She expresses that just who she is and her personality makes people turn away from her and that over so much time and starting up from so young can really mess a person up

And then she starts isolating Andrew too and they wind up becoming dependant on each other and no matter what forcing one person to carry the weight that a whole entire social circle should is always going to end up turning toxic ah~ which is what I so love about them I'm just a natural sucker for toxic siblings dynamics

Actually your perspective saying that Ashley fits as a little sister is really interesting to me because I am a little sister I can't really understand how older siblings look at their younger siblings but I can see a lot of how me and my older sister are like in just how they banter and stuff

Like that bit where Andrew is like nope you go get the batteries It was like a Deja Vu for me swear to God

I definitely think the whole prophetic dreams stuff is gonna play a big role in the full game and I'm really looking forwards to the horror potential of it all

I also really enjoy the idea of Ashley being super paranoic all the time about everything she dreams because what if she interprets it wrong what if she doesn't see the right thing what if it ends up getting Andrew hurt and as much as he doesn't want him to be able to live on without her that stems from the fact that she definitely cannot live on without him

One thing I really enjoy about dystopian stories is that they tell you just enough they make you feel like the world was already here before you and you are just watching it at the moment and this game does that so well

I know nothing about Homestuck but everyday I learn something new about it as it seems

And sorry, as you can probably tell, I can talk a whole lot about my special interests jejeje (☍﹏⁰).

"but I can't see any difference in quality" anon..Please be honest with yourself. Either you don't read much or I think you may be pretty deeply in denial. Just purely going off the fact that the lucemond ao3 feed is currently filled with twitter fics, google translated fics (and that's not an insult, the A/N will say, 'I put this through google translate') and people's first attempts at fanfic is a pretty clear indication that the objective quality has dropped. You are still allowed to enjoy these things and support these authors, but it's very much not the same as it was in the NOV-FEB period where we had very seasoned authors (if you don't like the term popular - fine. But these authors were much more experienced in world building, prose, character building etc) writing more than one shots for lucemond.

And like, I'm sad about it too? I want the fandom to prosper and to have fic variety and long, complicated fics but it's also normal for those kind of authors to move on because they are used to a certain level of engagement from their readers that Lucemond cannot provide at the moment. Because Lucemond and HOTD fandom is in a lull. Which again, totally expected and normal.

What i don't understand, is the point of this fandom's head-in-the-sand approach to nearly everything. Not just this, but when we talk about certain tropes, or character popularity or toxic comment culture - so many people think the best thing to do is pretend nothing is wrong or it doesn't exist. As though that'll make it go away somehow.

Hi anon, can you pick an emoji so I can differentiate between you and the other anons?

Special thanks to @jojodacrow for helping me word this succinctly and for letting me use your words to explain some stuff.

To start: There's so many talented arts, cool twt threads, and fics being made/updated. If it's not your cuppa, then I don't know what else I can say that I have not already said in previous asks.

I disagree that the "objective quality" dropped considering the bevy of talented folks here. If you're referring to the people that left, along with their fics (the quantity and quality of it), then yeah, shame. There's nothing we can do about it, and it's not my kink to beg.

There seems to be plenty of amazing writers (new and old) still here since the beginning, and I'm having a good time.

As far as the other "quality has been good" anon goes: it's not fair to say that they're in deep denial when that is their own fandom experience and opinion. Just like you're entitled to yours.

Anon, I feel like you are conflating two separate things here.

Every fandom has its peak, a time where everyday is just shiny and new--everyone is creating content, meta, art, inside jokes are created. The fandom feels the most alive for that extended period of time and everyday brings something exciting.

But that time never lasts.

Fandoms go through lulls, they ebb and flow like you have said. Some fandoms fizzle out very quickly. I think, that as a writer, I can imagine that there's disappointment with fic engagement going down. Most of my friends (DNF fandom) are writing for the love and enjoyment of writing, and not for the engagement they get. That's not to say that it's not okay to wish to have good feedback, kudos, or a nice comment. As humans, we naturally seek some validation. But there are authors who are only seeking those engagement numbers and interactions like a drug. There's nothing wrong with jumping to different fandoms/writing for new ships just to get that high again.

However, it's not an obligation for the reader to comment/interact every single time. Just like how we are not obligated to write/draw/create for this fandom.

Side note: That being said, it doesn't give a good excuse to harass authors or give entitled comments. :/ I'll reblog a post from a friend that nails this extremely well when it comes to comment culture and etiquette (thanks @jojodacrow!)

Like yeah, NOV-FEB seemed to have been poppin', cool, yeah. But uh, there's nothing we can do about it. We might see a resurgence for S2, but probably never to the levels we saw again. That is something you are going to have to accept. Even when the new season starts... it's not going to be like it was where we see those crazy amounts of fics again.

It's not that I don't like the term "popular"; that was only mentioned because you brought it up in another ask. But as I've said before: popular ≠ good. There is a certain level of experience that comes with someone's work being good, yeah. Again, I can't covet what I've never known to have lost. Whoever left, I don't think I got a chance to read, but I'm currently drowning in damn good recs.

I have no clue why they left the fandom. And unless you're friends with them, I don't know you are fixated on it. I'm getting the sense that you harbor a lot of resentment or frustration over this.

You say that you want the fandom to prosper, but I personally think it's been nice and peaceful on my end. I came when everything was on fire as I was updating SDP. There was drama everywhere and there is valid criticisms about commenting stuff.

But right now? As a a person here for less than six months? I'm good with what we have so far! Re: last asks and the linked authors.

So we can complain about it, we can move on to other fandoms, or we can find ways to enjoy what we have. There are lots of ways to do that. The fans that are still here can find ways to encourage activity. There's a fandom event going on!! We can comment on the stories we do like to encourage those authors. We can create fan events. We can foster writing/art challenges that center on the kinds of tropes we do love. If you think some of the younger/newer writers need help, then offer to beta read to help them improve.

At the end of the day this fandom is only as good as the work the fans put into it and complaining on tumblr isn't going to accomplish anything for this fandom if you aren't willing to do something to change it. But you said you were a writer? Then, it sounds like you're already doing your best, providing for the fandom.

As for your last paragraph, I think the commenting culture is well known by this point (I was so confused when I first joined the fandom too), luckily the comments on my fic have been lovely, so thank you readers 🥺❤️ I don't know anything about the tropes thing or character popularity thing, I'll admit. Is this regarding specifically the lu_cem*nd fandom? I have no clue what you mean about head-in-the-sand approach.

Hiii, saw your requests were hoping and I was hoping I could get a band of brothers ship, if that's okay xx

Appearance wise, I'm 5'3, blue/grey eyes with half bleached (white blonde underneath, brown on top) shoulder length hair. I also wear glasses. She/her pronouns.

I'm a Scorpio and my personality type is ISTP. My love language is definitely quality time! I'm often quite shy when first meeting someone, but when I'm comfortable around them I essentially lose all shame and become the loudest in the room. While my friends describe me as loyal, funny, and kind, they do say I can be very stubborn and unforgiving if someone crosses me.

I'm currently getting a bachelors in forensic science (in my final year actually!). In terms of hobbies/interests, I'm a sucker for a good book and amazing music. My favourite kinds of books are a mix of fantasy or history. However I am currently reading The Last Overland by Alex Bescoby, so I do tend to read whatever looks interesting to me and not just stick to those genres. I find that I spend most of my time listening to any type of music (genre would depend on what I'm feeling, but lately its been a mix songs like Halazia by ATEEZ or labour by Paris Paloma) and just having it playing in the background while doing anything and everything. I also started bookbinding as a hobby last year, which I find very relaxing.

I'm definitely more of a homebody, but if I go out with friends (they usually have to drag me out tbh) I do still enjoy it.

Thank you!! ❤️

hello <3 i hope you enjoy your ship— sorry this took so long love.

꒰ I ship you with . . . George Luz ৎ୭ ꒱

George is someone who will approach anyone he wants to within reason. I imagine you two meet a library, maybe he wasn't reading. He had gone there to support his friend's study habits, not his own. He sees you reading in the library and decides (suddenly) that he wants to read. He grabs a random book and asks to sit by you. That's how you meet. He Lester's you until you stop reading and pay attention to him.

George is someone that falls in love rather quickly

however he doesn't express his love that quickly. It'll take weeks for him the build up the courage. Toye helps him. Even though Toye is rather shy, he isn't shy about hyping up Luz.

Your first date is at a record shop, he suggested it. After a few conversations about music, he decided that a record shop would be a good first date location.

Obviously, you two bought a few record. Some he recommended to you. Some you recommended to him. You split the cost 50/50. He bought your records. You bought his.

Your first kiss was accidental. He was trying to kiss your cheek, something a bit more subtle for a kiss.

Buuuuut...

You inched to the side, slightly and all the sudden lips were touching. Listen, you're both surprised.

Melt with You by Modern English

He will listen to any fact you have to offer him... Actually, you could read to him and he'd genuinely listen.

He seems like he'd give the best attention— very sweet and detail-oriented.

sorry this is out of curiousity and you totally can not answer it but what is the long fic you’re writing about

ahh hello!! no problem I’m happy to answer (i love.... talking about writing....i will ALWAYS love talking about writing. it fills me with absolute joy to talk at length about themes ideas motifs etc in my writing. even if they’re just ‘what in god’s name were you thinking’ i will ALWAYS love questions!!)! 

in general terms, the as-yet untitled Long Fic is just another post-war fic about Hawk and Beej trying to adjust back to life in the States on their own, and eventually finding their way back to each other again. extremely down-the-line, absolutely no supernatural twists, high realism. It’s only stupid long because I’m trying to give that the space it needs to feel real to me, and that amount of space is turning out to be: A Lot.

a broader series of themes & questions (so far lol) are below the cut for mild thematic spoilers, length, and (sorry) minimizing exposure to pretentiousness purposes:

So You Want to Know What the Long Fic is About: A Condensed Thematic Overview of 158K (For Now) of Straight-Up Realist Historical Fiction Where, No Joke, a Significant Portion of That Length is Dedicated Solely to Guys Thinkin’ Real Hard About Stuff, Guaranteed to Make You Say ‘Holy Fuck, I’m Sorry I Asked, Please Just Shut Up’ With Parker, Your Resident Guy Who is Normal About TV

1. Mis- and non-communication.

What happens when you go from sleeping three feet away from your best friend in the world to living so far away a letter takes two weeks on a round trip? How do your methods of understanding each other (and misunderstanding each other…) change? How does or can one maintain closeness when literal proximity is denied? How does somebody handle abandonment when the abandonment in question was unavoidable (i.e. nobody to blame--the death of a mother, maybe, or the end of a shared living situation)?

2. Justice, suffering, and recompense.

This is where the pretentiousness comes in, I know this makes me sound like an asshole I just care about American case law a lot and it infects all of my writing, etc. etc. Anyway. How do we approach ideas of suffering and justice when they fall outside the jurisdiction of an American view of legal culpability? How does one go about trying to seek justice when they are provably, demonstrably hurt, but there is nowhere to direct the blame? These questions are kind of slippery and weird, so I’ll try to frame it more directly: somebody in this story is going to struggle (as they always do in my work) with despair. It is a serious and life-long struggle. How does a person in that situation move beyond ideas like fairness, justice, and being owed relief, to accepting that ‘fairness’ doesn’t really exist in terms of things like personal neurochemistry? And how, then, does that acceptance hold itself in relation to larger forms of human injustice--how does somebody accept their own ‘unfair’ situation as a reality they must bear while continuing to maintain ideological opposition to injustices that can be changed?

3. Empathy and invisible strife.

A little bit of an overlap with the previous set of ideas, but this one flows out of one of my favorite poems in the world, “Musee des Beaux Arts” by Auden (check it out, if you haven’t read it!). The narrator states:

About suffering they were never wrong, The old Masters: how well they understood Its human position: how it takes place While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;

And then, later: 

In Breughel's Icarus, for instance: how everything turns away Quite leisurely from the disaster; the ploughman may Have heard the splash, the forsaken cry, But for him it was not an important failure; the sun shone As it had to on the white legs disappearing into the green Water, and the expensive delicate ship that must have seen Something amazing, a boy falling out of the sky, Had somewhere to get to and sailed calmly on.

I am compelled by how frequently awareness of strife is set aside in day to day life, especially in American life, and that comes through big time in the Long Fic. 

At a psychological level, there’s a certain idea, I think, that it is very evident when people are doing badly; that you will always be able to tell; that the solution is as simple as reaching out, or asking for help. Unfortunately, that is often not the case. Somebody can be having the worst day of their life, be absolutely at the end of their rope, be seconds away from losing it completely, and five feet to the left there could be somebody else making a ham sandwich. So that comes through a lot in the work--this borderline absurdist, tragicomic idea that nobody’s ever really going to know exactly how you feel, and even if they did, they might be too busy doing the crossword to notice.

And at a less granular level, you can apply this (and will see it applied) to the American cultural response to the Korean War, which was incredibly muted. Even though millions of people died, even though the daily suffering of people, especially local civilians, involved was immense, because it was so (to an American domestic point of view) far-off, most people just went on with their lives. People celebrated birthdays, TV shows were produced, city council meetings dragged gaily on.

These things seem inevitable, and the ideas behind them kind of obvious: of course the world keeps turning when bad things happen. People just aren’t built to maintain ceaseless fear, anger, outrage, etc. at tragedy that is not directly affecting them, because they are concerned with the business of being alive. The people that do manage to maintain constant attention to large-scale but abstract or not immediately visible tragedies tend to go crazy, self-immolate, and/or quit their fancy math professorships at Berkeley in order to start direct mail marketing campaigns. Everybody else tends to feel bad about an issue, maybe they’ll see if they can do something small to help, and then they forget about it and keep managing the minutiae of their own lives. Yes, of course this or that issue is tragic--but I’ve got to do my taxes, or I’ve got to hit a deadline, or I’ve got to go to the store. The ploughman keeps working, too busy to investigate the splash. The ship sails on with somewhere to get to. 

But then again, even if the logic is sound, from Icarus’s point of view the world has got to seem awfully cold and mean.