”we need more morally ambiguous characters!”

you guys can’t even handle gon freeccs

Hi. If requests are open, can I please get hc's for the main trio reacting a reader who is a theatre kid/ very dramatic and will loudly narrate about whatever.

hi, and oh my god. yes ofc! (^_^) - please enjoy

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𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨:

- when he finds out you love to act things out he will ask you to read a book with him, and he chooses the one with most action ofc

- while you read you place the book down while reading it still and act out the scene your reading

“The dragon roared at the knight!”

- he loves watching and hearing you make the noises of the characters in the book

- once he has seen enough he will literally make a script for you to follow and he will go along with it too

“Great job Y/n! I really liked how you made your character a little your own.”

- tanjiro will brag about how amazing you are at acting and will always find a way to bring it up in any conversation

.

𝐈𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞:

- at first inosuke was confused as to why you were reading out loud and making lots of hand movements and facial expressions

- he would always get angry with you as he thought you wanted to fight him on some actions parts of the book

“Inosuke! I don’t wanna fight you! I’m trying to READ.”

- ino soon takes an interest in it too and finds himself copying every single movement you do

- you two will then play charades but you’ll be the first to act it out ofc until inosuke wants to have a go at it

“Let me try! Let me try!”

- the both of you can play that game for hours if uninterrupted

.

𝐙𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮:

- this guy will LITERALLY sit admire you while you act out a scene

- as you move your hands and feet from one side to the other copying what the book says

“She looks so cute doing that huh?”

- on cloud 9 whenever he catches you reading out loud in the characters voice

- but you switch to your regular voice as you spot him watching you

“Hi zen!”

- will jump back and act as if he wants watching you this entire time

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i hope you enjoyed these hcs :)

- please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes, thank you

thoughts about wallsocket (2023) that i know you were all itching for because i've obviously convinced you all to be as head over heels for this artist as i am:

- the first listen felt a little draggy and i thought the busyness of the tracks was unfocused, which i was prepared to be bummed about because that's an element of underscores' music that i really enjoy for reasons both straightforward (sounds make brain go brrrr) and deep (as an artist, i think her preoccupation with distraction and having to be the Shiniest to hold attention - individual or cultural - really complements the production style). but!

- the good news is i fell so fucking hard for every track by the second listen and i think the inertia i felt was mainly between 'duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' and 'you don't even know who i am' and by my third or forth listen, i was finding them the most engaging tracks on the album.

- good luck being the album's mantra makes me want to suffocate on velvet idk. in context, it's as dark as the whole of boneyard aka fearmonger (2021) but there's also a through line in underscores' work of her being exceptionally lucky (see "lonesharks", "horror movie soundtrack") and it feels as much like a helpless platitude as it does like a magical spell she's casting to keep us safe. which - themes!! and things/people/circumstances being so much of one thing they loop back around to being that thing's polar opposite.

- speaking of, the johnny of "johnny johnny johnny" validating the narrator's identity while also preying on her is my favorite vehicle for that theme so far.

- "shoot to kill, kill your darlings" is the first track i fell head over heels for, on the first listen and everything. and i keep getting more out of it with subsequent listens. think of me when you listen to this one, please. 💙

- when the "kinko's field trip 2006" hit???? reader i got CHILLS. literally shivered about it and it got me on listen two and three, as well. i don't think i've fully grappled with what its incorporation into wallsocket (2023) is trying to accomplish, but i do know it worked on me, like, a little too well. gonna be insane about it for the foreseeable future, gnashing my teeth as i type this in fact.

- i've had "cops and robbers" since it was released in may and somehow it wasn't until listening today that the full story really sunk in? like, i managed to hear i resurrect the dead and i'm not the bad guy, like it's just sitting there fully for the first time today? and, god, was the good luck-ing always in the mix? songs gaining new meaning in the context of their albums my beloved. album openers my beloved.

- does "you don't even know who i am" sample claptrap from borderlands? if not, that's still what the backing mantra on the track puts me in mind of, which gives the song a very compelling 'people vs technology' read that i've been getting a lot out of.

- underscores, i am pledging my allegiance to you.

Listening to The Way of Kings for the first time and it's really good and I like it a lot

One of the downsides is that I can't flip through and go reread a part when I feel like I've connected foreshadowing, so I'm probably going to end up buying it eventually.

Please if you respond to this post, no spoilers.

Thoughts at about 2/3 of the way through (very possible I'm spelling names wrong since I'm listening to the audiobook and not reading):

- loving the parallel experiences between Dalinar and Caladen and Caladen and Shalahn (protect your people, ethics of murder vs self defense vs seeking someone out to kill in self defense, etc).

- Why would Cabsall try and kill Yasna? He knew stealing her Soulcaster would start a war, what did he think would happen when they put it together that she had been assassinated?

- Shalahn, Dalinar and Caladen are the Radiants like.... Reincarnated, right? Or their descendents? Who are the other seven? I doubt it's Seth (Zeth? The narrator's pronunciation changes every time), but maybe? And Syl is... What, their mascot?

- I like the reimagining and enforcement of dumb gender roles, but how has it never occurred to someone like Dalinar that life would be so much fucking easier if he could read and write? He wouldn't have needed a scribe for the spanread with Yasna and could have spoken freely. He wouldn't need someone to read the book to him.

- Sometimes the combat scenes make me feel like I'm listening to Mistborn again because that was the first Sanderson book I listened to and he has such a distinctive style writing combat.

- I saw someone make a joke once that Patrick Rothfuss should give all his notes and drafts for Doors of Stone to Sanderson and he'd have it done in a few weeks and it'd be indistinguishable from Rothfuss's writing. I took it as a joke then because I'd never read anything from Brandon but they're right.

- This isn't going to end with a relatively nice bow of a resolution the way the first Mistborn did, is it?

- I literally gasped out loud when it was announced that Roshone was drafting Tian. I should have expected it but I didn't.

- Is Caladen really cursed to watch everyone he tries to help die, or is it just that he's a perfectionist and takes any loss as proof of a curse, even in situations where people dying was inevitable? Like that little girl he tried to save after she fell off a cliff, even his dad said there was nothing else he could have done, but he took it as his fault. He took Sen dying as proof, but it was said that his squad was like half kids who were too young/small to fight, so clearly some of them had been there for awhile without dying.

- Also I really like BS's commitment to writing about things like how nobility and common people interact, power structures, and God did I mention how much I love his combat narration

- Teft used to be a soldier. How does he recognize what Caladen is and how was it his fault that there's nobody left to inform (Heralds? Was that it?) Did he kill a Herald?

#26 for any hogwarts professor 😁

Thanks for the ask, @evesaintyves!

Since 26 is a freebie question, I'll go with #8 and Severus Snape.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

All right, so laying out the cards right away: I am truly very neutral about Severus Snape. I don't hate him and I don't think he's an evil bag of evil. I also don't think he's the greatest character, though he is certainly one of the most interesting ones in the series.

I would say that what I hate that the fandom does with Snape is swing too far in either direction of worship or hatred. I think hatred is where I see a lot of people land, and though I'm not Snape's biggest fan, I don't think the hatred is necessary. Dislike, yes, but outright hatred and writing him to be an evil gargoyle stuffed with tons of evil little slugs that all poop evil, is just not right to me.

It also speaks volumes to me that Snape is not conventionally attractive by any means, and while he is hyper complex, I don't see people woobifying him or making him into a soft boy like they do with Regulus or Barty Crouch Jr. Or Evan Rosier. Or any of those "Slytherin Skittles." We have a truly grey character on our hands, and the best I see from a lot of the Marauders fandom is hatred and dismissal of him, in favor of conventionally attractive boys.

Anyway.

Snape is arguably one of the most interesting characters in the entire series. He's a dick, but he's got a clever and dry sense of humor. He's a potions genius, but he's not a kind man. He's not a fuzzy or cute character, but he plays a pivotal role and he plays it well.

I have compassion for Severus. He grew up poor alongside Lily, and then he got sorted into the worst possible house for his social situation. Not only was he a half-blood, but a poor one, so he would've had to work hard to get to the point of being socially accepted. Even then, he was never truly going to fit in because of his blood status and poverty. I'm confident he had a difficult time as a young Slytherin, who was BFFs with a Muggleborn, and that was made worse by the terrorizing Marauders.

No, Snape isn't innocent, either. Remus (a VERY flawed character, we all know) said Snape gave as good as he got. But remember how unreliable of a narrator Remus is - he's going to say and do whatever it takes to save face. Snape created some truly nasty spells and presumably used them. He called Lily a Mudblood, but to put that in context, it was after James put soap in his mouth, hung him upside down, and threatened to take his pants off. Pants = underpants, so that's even worse to expose someone like that in front of a crowd.

My issue with adult Snape is that he's a gigantic shithead at the kids. On the one hand, I totally get the need to be strict in an environment like the potions lab, where one mistake could literally melt people's faces off. On the other hand, it's extremely cruel to make fun of children and bully them. I'm sure he had lots of amusement from his own quips, which are legitimately funny sometimes, but it's still such a dick move to make fun of kids.

That doesn't make him evil. It just makes him human (and petty AF). I don't write him often because I don't feel I get his voice right, but when I have written him, I try to have some compassion, as well as some critique, because while Snape is not a bucket of sunshine and rainbows, he has a critical role and without it, Harry couldn't have succeeded.

Character Ask Game

Why I dislike the LotR movies

A few weeks months ago @acaseofsilverspoons​ asked me why I say I hate the Lord of the Rings movies, and I promised I would try to give an explanation. Sorry for the delay, I have a lot of thoughts and it has taken a bit of time to order them in my head and then I forgot about this draft.

Movie people following the newsletter: stop reading now. I am going to spoil the hell out of it. And even if you don’t care about spoilers, if you like the movies you’re probably going to get defensive and enjoy the novels less because of it. I don’t want to be the reason you enjoy Tolkien less. Come back once you’re done reading, I’ll be happy to discuss then!! ^^

Disclaimer: I haven’t watched the movies. I have a very weak visual imagination and I hated the design of the elves on sight, so I decided to avoid getting them as my default elves; and I react very badly to peer pressure, which means the more people tell me I need to watch them the least I want to. I still think I have enough information to base my opinions, but well. There you go. Can't tell me I lied to you.

The first, and main reason, I “hate” the LotR movies is very well summarized by this strip of the webcomic Weregeek.

The movies are good enough, and good enough adaptations, and enough of a cultural milestone, that people talk of them as if the movies and the novels were interchangeable. Tolkien was never exactly obscure, and it’s not like people are at risk of forgetting the novels exist, but a lot of people have seen the movies but will never read the books, and even people who are into the genre will read the novel after seeing the movies. So you have people who have only experienced the movies thinking they know all that there is to know, and people who have experienced both getting to the novel with the preconceptions of the movies (see all the people analyzing Frodo’s actions as effects of the Ring from day 1 in the newsletter, or people immediately assuming book!Denethor is an abusive parent... we’ll come back to that). I’ve heard people say “don’t worry about reading the novels, the movies are enough”. And they are NOT. They are very much NOT. Even if you think every single choice in the movies is justified and good, there were a lot of choices made. They’re not equivalent.

Let me expand on that under a Read More because believe me, this is going to get long.

Let’s start with the themes.

First of all: Lord of the Rings is not an action story. If anything, it is an anti-war novel. Even though most characters admit that violence is sometimes necessary, almost universally it is considered a necessary evil. We have Faramir, the closest to a Moral Compass Man we have, literally spelling that he doesn’t like war for itself, but only for what it defends. And the narration mirrors this: except for the Battle of Helm’s Deep, every battle is either skipped over (the Black Gate), told in retrospect (Isengard) or interspersed with sections about the grief it brings (Pelennor). And in all cases, we end them with lengthy descriptions of the people that died and the grief they caused. It’s hard to finish the novel going “oh, the battle of Pelennor was awesome! I wish there were more!” when the last thing you hear about it is three pages of obituaries. In contrast, the movies fall into the trap of wanting to utilize their shiny new technology and their great visuals for battle scenes, and end up making battles cool. I have lost count of the dudebros whose take on the LotR movies was “weren’t the battles awesome???”. And before you come for me with “but the text says”, to quote Lindsay Ellis, movies are a visual medium. If you make the battles the most visually appealing and fun part of your movie to watch, you can have characters have unending monologues about how bad war is, that’s not the message people are going to get from it. And if you make a LotR adaptation whose message is “war is cool and fun”, you’ve missed the mark by a mile.

Secondly, another big theme about Lord of the Rings is that in the end, it’s the small people that make the difference, and that noone wins alone. To quote Elrond, “you may find friends upon your way when you least look for it”. But the movies, in their (reasonable) quest to streamline the story to fit a movie runtime, choose to prioritize the more classically heroic characters and arcs, sacrificing the small people for the big flashy kings and warriors. Pippin and Merry’s contributions get pushed to the side, while Aragorn not only retains all his original plotpoints, but even gets a shiny new subplot that was only in the appendixes in the novel. And also everyone who isn’t a member of the Fellowship (and not even that.. we’ll get back to Gimli) gets their role changed to make the actions of our heroes more necessary. Théoden is under a literal spell that needs to be lifted by Gandalf, and has to be told how to do war by Aragorn; the Ents decide not to attack Isengard and have to be reminded of the stakes by the hobbits; Denethor is such an incompetent nutjob that Gandalf can hit him in front of his guards and nobody cares. I understand the urge to make the main characters more important,, but LotR has a very strong feel of people in the same danger uniting to fight together instead of fending for themselves; this way, the secondary characters feel less like allies and more like sidequests.

And that gives me a nice segue into another, less important but more annoying issue: the characters.

Noone who follows my tumblr will be surprised to discover that Pippin and Merry, especially Pippin, are my favourite characters. If you asked me to tell you what are my favourite scenes in the book, which parts I’ve re-read the most often, they would be A Conspiracy Unmasked, P&M’s meeting with Treebeard, Éowyn’s monologue, the passage with Pippin and Bergil, and The Scouring of the Shire. Do I need to explain more? Except for Treebeard and Éowyn, none of these scenes made it into the movie. Which is a crime against me, personally. But apart from being annoying to me because I like them, it also means that their entire character arcs (again, especially Pippin’s) completely disappear. Pippin has the most traditional coming-of-age story in the novel: he’s a teenager dragged in an adventure bigger than he expected who has to grow up and learn that the world is bigger than he ever imagined and some things are important, and who then comes back home all grown up and ready to fend for himself. By cutting both A Conspiracy Unmasked and The Scouring of the Shire, you cut both the setup and the payoff of his arc, and by aging up the actor playing the character, you turn him from a learning teenager to a bumbling adult. Is it important in the grand scheme of things? Not really; but every time I see a meme about how Pippin is an idiot I feel like punching a wall.

Denethor. I didn’t know it was possible to be this offended on behalf of a character I don’t even particularly like. When I first looked up Denethor meta I thought I had slipped into a parallel dimension for a while, until I discovered it was just that Peter Jackson had performed a little character assassination of his own. Book!Denethor is not a nice or an endearing character, but he’s not an easily hateable one either. He’s the leader of a country in perpetual war against an enemy way stronger than they are (he has probably been born already under the Shadow of Mordor, knowing he would have to lead his people against it since he was a kid). He is cold, and calculating, and shrewd, and he has sacrificed his humanity (and his family) in order to make the decisions he thinks need to be made. To put it bluntly, he’s a character type who would be a good (and successful!) guy in Game of Thrones. But because he is in a story whose core themes are empathy and friendship and compassion, he’s a tragic figure: when the grief of the sacrifices he was willing to make hits him, he has nothing and noone to lean on, and he breaks. From everything I’ve seen, Peter Jackson has decided to take his character in a more “abusive father” direction. And look, I’m not going to say book!Denethor was a good parent. He was not. But he didn’t just “love Boromir and hate Faramir”. It’s more complicated than that. He was sure of Boromir’s loyalty, while he feared that in a conflict situation, Faramir would side with Gandalf and not him. And as a general, that is a big concern. Also, from everything I’ve read, movie!Denethor’s military tactics are whack from day one, which kind of diminishes his characterization as a cold but effective general. But that might just be a question of filmmakers not understanding medieval military methods, which... fair, I guess. On a related note, what’s that about a scene of him eating a tomato?? Did they really give him a scene explicitly designed to be disgusting and unrelatable?? The quest to make Denethor more hateable, though, is not only a problem because of his character. His character choices bleed onto others. In particular, Boromir, Faramir and Pippin. If Denethor is an abusive nutjob, why is Pippin drawn to swear loyalty to him? Is he an idiot?? Boromir comes off as the favoured child in an abusive household. But the worst is Faramir. A few weeks ago someone who is movie-only described him to me as “Faramir is the brother of Boromir that is hated by his dad, right?”. And I don’t think I can explain my reaction to Faramir, fucking Faramir, being reduced to a wet blanket who looks very sad and does nothing while his dad walks all over him. Just give me that gif of a guy screaming into a pillow.

And lastly on the “character assassination” column, Gimli. I think I’ll leave @carlandrea​ take the mic on this one, they can say more than I could possibly, and better. All I’m going to say is that, from everything I’ve seen, the movies take one of the more well-spoken, dignified characters, and made him into a bumbling, crass comic relief who fits closer to a D&D parody dwarf than anything Tolkien ever wrote.

And now, let me end with some quick-fire complaints that wouldn’t be important if the ones above hadn’t happened.

What happened with the male elves’ design?? I understand holding a casting for “otherworldly beautiful men” is not doable, but why do they look like that?? And it’s not that they can’t do elves, Galadriel and Arwen look good! Were they scared to make them “look gay” if they were too pretty?? If that’s the case, why didn’t they lean into the “otherwordly” part of it and made them alien-looking? WoW elves look more interesting than that!!

Also, I need to have a serious talk with the wig department. Why do the elves’ wigs have no volume?? Why do they look limp and dead? Why is Elrond balding? What’s going on here??

While we’re on the topic of character designs, it’s a pet peeve of mine that the hobbits only have hair on the top of their feet. It looks more decorative than anything and I don’t like it.

Last complaint about the character designs, I promise: this is not a criticism of Elijah Wood’s acting. I have never seen him act, I couldn’t say. But Frodo is supposed to be a middle-aged gentlehobbit. Why is he played by a 20 year old skinny guy who looked like a teenager?? Why is Frodo not fat?? On that note, why is Sam the only fat hobbit? They are hobbits! They are defined by ruddy cheeks and round bellies!! Did the producers think a middle-aged fat protagonist would be too much for an audience to swallow??

I’m not sure if I got this right, but I think in the movies Arwen’s life is tied to Aragorn taking his throne?? Because if that’s true, wow, way to make her into a more active character in the beginning only to tie her entire existence to a male character’s story arc!

And while we’re on the subject of stuff I suspect but I’m not sure of, I’ve seen enough Éowyn takes with the same uncanny valley feel as Denethor’s to suspect they did something to her character. And if they turned her into a Hollywood Strong Female Character Who Don’t Need No Man (TM) I will bite someone.

Lastly on this category, I am very confused about the elves from Lórien who apparently appear randomly at Helm’s Deep. Is Lórien not being attacked in this version of events (again, reinforcing the idea that everything revolves around the main characters)? Where do they go after the battle? Did they come for two days and then go back to Lórien? That sounds like a stupid plan... And also, you are aware the Rohirrim are super fucking distrustful of elves, right, PJ? How the hell did Aragorn convince Théoden and Éomer to let a battalion of elves into the Helm??

If you’ve gotten all the way here, thank you so much! It got longer than I expected, which was already very long, so thank you for bearing with me! I am willing to discuss and debate all of these, as long as it is civil.

Ok so I’ve been wondering about a few things, when Elena and Klaus are in NOLA, she tell him she knows that he’s sleeping with Rebekah and Stefan, and to me he sounded like that that was information that he would have rather her not find out. Why? Wasn’t that before he fell in love with her?

Secondly, in chapter 10 or 11 when Elena sort of walks in on their threesome, how did Stefan and Klaus not notice she was there? Like even though they were preoccupied should’ve they have vampire-sensed it?

Thirdly, how did Stefan and Rebekah feel when Klaus stopped sleeping with them?

Fourthly, I’m dying to know where Stefan and Elena are going after their field trip!!!

I love this fic so much and I read it at 3am instead of studying for my college midterms 😅 So congratulations you have me hooked! This is so much better than TVD and I actually stopped watching after season 3 because in my opinion, it was awful. Seasons 1 and 2 was peak tv. I tried to pick it up again but then I stopped watching again after Nina left. The soul of the show was gone and that was the final nail in the coffin for me.

ehh I think it was part of his private life. He wasn't going to tell her about it straight out, but it wasn't that secret either. It literally just went over Elena's head to even notice a mxm relationship between her boyfriend (whom she assumed was het) and Klaus (whom she also assumed was het), let alone uhh sibling incest. but I don't think Klaus x Stefan was all that secret, she just misread A LOT of stuff as Klaus holding Stefan captive as opposed to like... being a vampiric lover. but yeah, this is all before Klaus was in love with Elena. He falls in love with her near the end of the first nola arc. Elena actually falls in love with him first. so in that scene where Elena says she knows, he's making her spell it out because he wants her to speak blatantly about his sex life. He knows she's typically shy about that topic and he wants to push her boundaries. If Elena sees it as him not liking her knowing, that's because she's unreliable as a narrator. Pretty much any observations other than the literal dialogue is subject to Elena being an Hilarious Unreliable Narrator.

In that sex scene-- think about the incalculable stimuli we process through our five senses at any given moment. Our brains have to actually filter out most of it in order for us to pay attention to whatever we're focused on; it skips things, makes assumptions, hallucinates, all sorts of weird and interesting things. Now think about vampires. They can see and hear and smell and taste (and feel?) so much more than us. What may as well be infinitely more. I'm sure they have to filter out things too-- probably a lot of it automatically. This is my explanation for why they are able to have private conversations in vampire abodes at all. Because in theory anyone could eavesdrop at any time, right? Unless there was loud music playing all the time? But we can assume that in order to eavesdrop from a distance, they typically have to be zeroing in, because otherwise it would just be more noise to filter out, just like they ignore the sound of the worms and ants and every other insect in the ground. So what I'm getting down to-- Stefan and Klaus were distracted. They were literally mid-fuck. I hope they're not paying attention to Elena in that context, whom they can probably hear all the time anyway, whether she is accidentally peaking in or not! (Actually, can we all headcanon that they are listening to Elena during? Because that's an interesting thought.) But even though neither of them looked up, we can assume that at least Stefan was aware. He came down to the kitchen to seek her out soon afterwards-- because he knew the cat was out of the bag. As for Klaus-- I think we can assume he noticed, as well. But really, if you were having GREAT sex and then you peripherally notice someone looking in who then gets embarrassed and flees, would you stop having sex, or would you shrug it off? Again, them being too wrapped up in each other to notice Elena at all is her observation, her perception-- she is upset to discover she has yet another romantic rival for Stefan and also it's rocked her assumptions to their foundations. She's also just found out that sibling incest is apparently a vampire thing. Girl is SO unreliable about what actually happened.

How did Stefan and Rebekah feel: relieved. Stefan already felt like he was juggling too much and was one bad catch away from having his heart ripped out and Rebekah wanted to be free to pursue Stefan as her own, without her brother making her relationship difficult and about himself. But the other side of that is that Stefan was also worried about what this meant for Elena-- he had a dark premonition about it-- and Rebekah was a bit unnerved by her brother's unprecedented feelings development.

Oh, well, Stefan and Elena have to go to Chicago-- both because Klaus wants them to go, and because how could they fail to revisit the sight of their breakup?

and ooof! same feelings about tvd! it's so true!

Why exactly are people confused about whether or not LWJ confessed to WWX after nightless city? While we do not know exactly what he said or did, it is unambiguous in chapters 99-100 that LWJ had knowingly expressed his feelings to WWX after nightless city & was under the impression that WWX knew...

‘When we arrived, you were sitting in a daze on a rock. WangJi was holding your hands and passing cultivation energy through to you. The entire time, he was quietly speaking to you. [...] Lan XiChen continued, “When my uncle reached him, he’d scolded him and asked him to explain himself. However WangJi seemed to have already expected us to find him, he only said, ‘There’s nothing to explain. This is what it seems.[...] “When he had hidden you inside that cave, the way he’d spoke to you, the way he’d looked at you—even a blind and deaf man would be able to tell what he felt for you.

It is not LXC alone that can read LWJ's feelings in that cave, all those Lan elders and LQR could too. Most importantly, LWJ was fully aware—'This is exactly what it seems'—ergo he had knowingly made his feelings known. I.e. a confession.

‘Suddenly, Wei WuXian felt terrified. If Lan WangJi had no idea that he had no memories of the few days after the battle at the Nightless City, if Lan WangJi always thought that he knew of his true feelings, then what had he been doing to Lan WangJi this whole time since he’d came back to life?’

This is WWX's conclusion based on the information LXC gave, his thoughts are later confirmed by LWJ's reaction to his third & final confession attempt. MXTX literally spelled this out for her readers and yet-

‘Lan WangJi’s eyes were downcast, and it was hard to read his expression. Wei WuXian knew that Lan WangJi likely didn’t believe in those few lines he’d said earlier. After all, he had been tormented by someone who’d teased him mercilessly while laughing without a clue for so long. It was only right for him to be suspicious. At the thought, Wei WuXian felt his chest go heavy, his heart trembling with sympathy. He didn’t dare to continue his line of thought. He only knew that he needed to fix it however he can, and hammer the point home.

He said, “Lan Zhan, here, look at me.”

Lan WangJi replied in a voice that still sounded a little tight, “Mmm.”

Taking a deep breath, Wei WuXian said quietly, “……I really do have terrible memories. I’ve forgotten a lot of things from before, including that night at the Nightless City. What really happened during those few days, I really don’t remember a thing.”

Hearing this, Lan WangJi’s eyes widened slightly.’

LWJ's reaction is clearly shocked when WWX says he doesn't remember what happened after nightless city and LWJ does not take WWX's confession seriously until after he'd explained this. LWJ assumed he was messing around as he always had done because WWX never acknowledged his own confession. LWJ clearly thought WWX knew of his feelings, he would only think this if he had told WWX of his feelings.

On a related point, why would LWJ choose a time like that to confess? I think it is pretty straightforward.

Something that is made clear throughout the whole Nightless City sequence, is that WWX perceives LWJ as an enemy, he thinks he’s there to fight him and condemn him. The narration makes it very clear that WWX’s perception of LWJ’s actions at this time is incorrect, he’s ‘lost his judgement.’ WWX is unable to consider that LWJ actually only wants to help him.

And in his second life, WWX still cannot understand why LWJ would want to help him. In chapter 12 he speculates that LWJ had actually recognised him, the only thing that makes him doubt this is that he thinks if LWJ knew his identity, he would definitely not be helping him. In chapter 31, after WWX has gotten LWJ to drink, he specifically asks him 'why are you helping me?'

After he takes him away from Nightless City, LWJ is dealing with a WWX who is quite out of his mind, and convinced that LWJ only wants to harm or punish him for the things that he’s done. The obvious way for LWJ to try to remedy this is to explain to WWX why he is helping him, because it was due to WWX believing LWJ was against that was making him lash out during nightless city (from ch.78, this is clear to LWJ). And in this scenario, the reason LWJ takes him away, heals him and looks after him, is because of his feelings for him.* (The 'shocking someone out of a rampage with an emotional confession' is a fairly common trope, is it not?)

So, we can see that LWJ has a clear practical reason to confess his feelings at this time.

From an emotional standpoint also, LWJ has every reason to confess here. Having witnessed WWX at Nightless City, and how severely WWX mistrusted him, and also facing the likelihood of WWX’s death, of course LWJ would choose this moment to confess. And whether he lived or died, LWJ would not be able to bear the thought of WWX thinking he hated him, and would want him to know the truth. Similarly, in Xuanwu Cave, LWJ chooses to sing 'wangxian' for WWX and tell him the name—not exactly a confession, but not far from it either. It is clear throughout that arc that LWJ did not share WWX's faith that the Jiangs would come and rescue them promptly, likely he believed they'd both die in that cave.

*LWJ was explicitly not helping WWX after nightless city because he felt he was right & supported him. Aside from the fact that LWJ had been actively trying to stop him only shortly beforehand, we are also told LWJ 'did not know whether he was right or wrong'. And how can he know? LWJ never uncovered the full story of what happened at Qiongqi Path, and the reader does not even know what happened with WN's second rampage at Koi Tower when all those Lan cultivators were killed, LWJ does not even know that WWX was not the one who attacked first at nightless city. LWJ doesn't know, but he protects him anyway because he believes WWX is not a bad person, and he has such faith in WWX because he loves him.

Hiii! I feel a little late to the chapter 32 party but I just finished it. I made a short list (there’s so much more I could’ve put in it) of some of my favorite things from the new chapter:

1- I love how in character everything feels! I don’t have a direct quote but I have the scene where Leo just got back to the lair and the narration brought up how he just pressed the key on the keyboard and spun around just to be cool. I know that might be obvious but it really stood out to me and it hit my funny bone in the right way.

2- I really enjoyed reading about Obscurial-Swann syndrome. It’s a random like but I found it really interesting. 2.1- Also, the side note of Draxum not knowing how to delete his browsing history was hilariously accurate. He feels like the kinda guy who wouldn’t know anything about googling and using the internet because he used encyclopedias and textbooks for everything.

3- This is something we can all agree on but I really enjoy reading the conversations between Gale and Tigerclaw. You really stepped into the murder uncle role for this chapter. The honesty and care and familial love is incredible. I just love their relationship so much.

lastly I did have a question, sorry if this has already been asked before. How do you think Gale will feel about Hungin, Mungin, Cass, and Tigerclaw once he becomes Donnie again? I don’t think he would really harbor that much ill will against them because they were all so nice and genuinely cared for him (as well as the fact the cass is under the hypnosis as well, if i’m remembering correctly). Thank you so much for all your hard work. Remember to take breaks, drink water and eat full meals!!!! <3

Bro the chapter's been out for 36 hours. You're not late for anything.

Seriously, I would very much prefer people take it at their own pace and talk to me when they get to it. It's honestly really disheartening when I put a bunch of work into a chapter, get five comments on it the first day, and then radio silence until I put the next one out. And besides, this was a long chapter. I figured it would take most people a little bit to get through. (plus a lot of readers are high school/college students-I released it on a schoolday, and y'all got homework)

LEO IS JUST SILLY THAT WAY. For real, writing little actions and stuff like that is real useful for breaking up dialogue, but then I have to, like, figure out what they're actually doing while talking. It's actually harder to do with Leo's sections that Gale's, because Galois is always using various tools and doing crazy shit that literally no one other than him would understand nor expect to understand, so I can mix shit up and keep it completely vague and it's still on-brand for him. Leo-what the fuck does Leo even do? Half the time I just have him On The Computer, like how Ken's job is Beach. What's he doing on there? I dunno! I just didn't feel like even pretending to make up a reason for him being on there and I don't think he did either. I think he legit said he was going to go upstairs and Look For Donnie on his laptop and gave no thought as to how the laptop helped accomplish that. He just pulls out his computer and clackety-clacks away because it makes him look productive.

Yeah, I do try to keep out the Harry Potter references, because fuck JKR, but in the same vein you're never going to undo the effect HP had on popular culture. HP stuff is pretty much universally recognizable and sometimes it's either use HP references or go something more obscure-and in a case like this, where I'm describing a made-up condition that I don't even define in the story, it could be very confusing if the audience doesn't make the connection. (also the other half is a Twilight reference, so it's doubly cursed)

Oh, and if you noticed, it's spelled differently for both Gale and Tigerclaw, because Tigerclaw is pronouncing it wrong. :D

Draxum probably doesn't even fucking know what a browsing history is, let's be real. It's a good thing he's gotten really into this dad roleplay thing and hasn't Googled anything about mind control or how to deal with your kidnapped son's estranged brothers.

Huginn and Muninn, hmm, I'll have to think about that. I haven't really thought about them in the epilogue, to be honest, they kind of just flit in and out of the story when convenient. I can't see him blaming Cass, she's as much a victim as he is. Tigerclaw-I mean, to be fair to Tigerclaw, he's operating on limited information. Draxum told him that Galois is his son. Why should he doubt that?

I always love your analysis and I was kinda curious on your thoughts on a certain topic! We know when talking about black whip going out of control, Izuku trails off and doesn’t talk about what activated it. Do you think he’s *consciously* intentionally pushing down his feelings and beating around the bush, or moreso is literally oblivious to what the true cause is? I know us bkdks tend to assume he’s being dodgy but i recently saw someone point out how he seems to actually *forget* his trauma and now I’m wondering if he really is more clueless than we think (we as an audience get to see the pattern, but every other time he’s lost control because of katsuki OTHER than black whip has been a traumatic event)

Ooooo I love this question thank you for asking. 

Since the day I saw the apology chapter, I always thought Izuku forgetting what Katsuki said to him in his sacrifice must be because of the trauma. However the blackwhip thing was a whole other scenario and I find myself asking, was that really traumatic in the same way? He lost control, he experienced a powerful flood of emotions, and then he had to bottle them up for safety’s sake. That certainly does sound a lot like the pattern of trauma. The only thing is, he doesn’t show any signs of forgetting the event, especially considering he keeps having flashbacks to Banjo’s words. So... idk. Your idea might actually be better summed up by the narration over Toga’s confession about him being oblivious to romantic feelings unless they’re spelled out. Perhaps that could extend to his own feelings as well. 

This is somewhat of a tangent to your question, but I have been wondering what Izuku’s mastery of blackwhip implies about the state of his heart. That he has accepted his emotions? Constrained them? Is he even using its full potential? The symbolism remains unclear to me and it bugs me a lot. We know he absorbed Endeavor’s advice about parallel processes and that’s it. 

Banjo clearly explained the task ahead of Izuku when he said "it’s okay to get mad. Rage can be the source.” Yet in all the training that follows, we never get to see Izuku take this into consideration at all. He focuses on restraining blackwhip completely and then slowly drawing it out. What I can guess from this is that he ignored the part of Banjo’s advice about anger and instead focused solely on control. Izuku doesn’t like his anger, and perhaps doesn’t want to accept it as a part of himself. For someone who sees themselves as deeply altruistic, anger is like a curse, a liability, a failure. I can guess this because it’s very reminiscent of him inadvertently mimicking even the parts of Katsuki he hates when he feels a drive to win. He claimed he couldn’t tell Katsuki about that either. Why?

The simplest explanation is that his anger triggers most strongly in tandem with his love for Katsuki, since blackwhip activated in response to Katsuki being insulted over a sensitive subject, and because Izuku’s image of victory is in Katsuki, explosive anger included.

But your question asks whether or not Izuku understands this and consciously chooses to avoid it, or if he’s oblivious. Honestly… I hope this doesn’t sound like a cop out, but I think it’s neither. Or, both? In a way? I think he is displaying avoidant behavior, but I want to present a more nuanced picture of what that could be like for him, internally. And I mention the whole anger thing because it’s a more obvious source of shame for him that’s in direct association with Katsuki, rather than say internationalized homophobia, which we haven’t necessarily seen evidence of. It could be that he simply doesn’t know how to express himself about this issue. When he trails off, feigns ignorance, etc, maybe he does so in response to a serious mental block that won’t allow him to tell the truth.

Anon, have you ever held onto a secret so monumental, so personal and so strong, that it physically felt too big to fit out of your mouth? Imagine spending so long pushing something down, you don’t know how to feel it anymore. Imagine wanting to pour your heart out to someone, but not being able to find the words because you can’t even bear to think about it long enough to do any real introspection. And then your habit of lying to compensate becomes so ingrained that it’s like a totally different person is speaking on your behalf, automatically.

I can very easily see how this could happen to Izuku as he has loved Katsuki his whole life, through all the pain and distance and misunderstandings. How else is a person supposed to cope with all that? This all could be the after-effects of a subtler, more constant trauma. Now Katsuki is finally truly open to him (post-apology), and he just doesn’t have the capacity to accept it, as much as he may want to. However that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to overcome. All it takes is the right push.

Crazy Ex Girlfriend reading that no one has asked for but I've been thinking about it! but it's about whats up with the songs that Rebecca isn't present for (and some solos that she is but that just makes it confusing)! Because there's a lot of different interpretations of it, and I want to just put out mine

For me, the songs that Rebecca isn't there for aren't in her head, they are in the singers' minds. In the world of the show, especially with songs like "Hey West Covina," "Thought Bubbles," "I Go to the Zoo," (and plenty more), Rebecca absolutely doesn't know the inner thoughts being shared in those numbers. We know she is still projecting onto them from other songs from around those times- "Settle for Me", "Ping Pong Girl", "Strip Away My Conscious" (the first two are putting words in other character's mouths, the third spells out her impression of him pretty clear.) Rebecca doesn't know their struggles, that's why they are singing them to us, the viewers!

They're singing because it's the language that the show, "Crazy Ex Girlfriend" uses to share large emotions and inner thoughts. Yes, it's also the diegetic way Rebecca sees the world, but since her POV is the primary view the show, that's how the viewpoint remains. Despite this, even though Becks is the main character, CXG still goes out of its way to develop and explore character when they are outside of her, to show that none of them are exactly perfect narrators.

I think saying that Rebecca is the one choreographing their personal vignettes- retroactively, after she learns about them- weakens them and puts too many filters over the ideas in the songs. Because then it makes every song actually about what she thinks someone's breakthrough is about. Lets be real, she never had and will never have enough thoughts about George to formulate "George's Turn."

If this was a much more experimental show- which, it already is, but even moreso than normal- everyone would have their own interpretations of their psyche, like Nathaniel's romcom episode. Like, say for "Trapped in a Car" maybe Rebecca is singing in her head, but Paula is imagining a really shitty filler part in a romance novel where the side character she does not care about has way too many lines. They'd be saying the same thing in different mediums, but in the show, they just converge into one song.

CXG is musical comedy, written by comedic musicians and sold with the idea that each episode has a song. And as a medium, musicals are fundamentally fantastic at doing this introspective character work! The changing of genres for certain characters is already an insight on how to read them, which makes it a joy to analyze. It's a format that really, really works for a show that wants viewers to empathize with everybody in the cast. The show needs to use "Rebecca's worldview" on other characters because that's the kind of show it is!

imo it's such a neat move that the writers decided to explore how the introspective and emotional medium of musicals could work as a coping mechanism and I love it! But, if anything, making the main character literally have vivid mental music numbers does confuse the use of them in any other place when they're played more narratively straight lol

UC anon. Okay, now tell me every single thought Ghost had in persona non grata. I'm gonna go ahead and assume that Soap isn't the most reliable narrator and misunderstands a lot. I'm particularly curious about Ghost's thoughts

when they meet. Is Ghost just being his usual self and Soap reads it wrong or does Ghost have an "oh no he's hot" moment which actually makes him even more guarded than usual, so Soap is justified in finding his reaction strange?

when Soap confronts him the first time with "Do we have a problem?" and just in general at the beginning. Is Ghost being reserved because he assumes Soap doesn't like him and thus appears overly indifferent?

when Soap smiles at him after the spar session. I shamelessly wanna know if Ghost is smitten here or not.

during the handjob. Does he have Soap figured out by then or is he equally confused by Soap being cold, then running hot in different ways?

the blowjob. Just. Tell me everything that's running through that skull. Is it difficult for him to leave Soap behind (but he's trying to be reasonable because they're outside) or is he deliberately being mean?

The mask moment. Is Ghost touched? Is that the moment when Ghost decides that Soap is his? The moment when Ghost realizes his feelings for Soap?

The granola bar moment. I assume Ghost is flirting, and that it's a general theme, that Ghost is actually trying to be friendly, show that he cares, wants to be close, but fails (or rather, Soap doesn't get it).

When Soap tells him “I don’t need anything from you. Not lectures, not pity, and certainly not your approval.” Is that the moment when Ghost figures Soap out?

when Soap says “Listen, mate, I’ve had enough of you bossing me around, playing your little games. I’m done. Now, fuckin’ move.” Or this? Is that the moment when he realizes that he needs to spell things out for Soap?

When Soap realizes his feelings, what feeling is it exactly? That he has a crush or that it he's full on in love? Cause either way, the boy is absolute shit at self reflection. Then again, I do agree with him that Ghost can be fucking infuriating. Mysterious bastard. I assume that I already know the answers to some of those questions but I definitely need the satisfaction of having then written out. I've read it a while ago but since I'm here now I might as well ask you. Tell me everything. I expect your reply to be at least as long as my ask. You better not disappoint me, boy. (I'm teasing. But I also mean it.)

lmao you're asking me like i remember what i wrote last week , let alone two months ago, but i will try 🙏 under the cut for length lmao

ghost doesn't really think about him twice when they meet, but he Did read up on him (and the others too) and was impressed with his numbers but not so much with his attitude, so maybe he was a little colder than he would've been otherwise

at this point ghost doesn't really care, he isn't pretending to be indifferent, he just is. he doesn't warm up to new people easily and soap is.. different. not necessarily in a way he likes lol

he isn't, but the way soap gave almost as good as he got, responded to what wasn't so much a challenge as a test, does warm him up to soap

he doesn't have him figured out, but he does understand that it's tension running high, and the way soap reacts to him (by getting a boner lmao) is quite literally a way to get a handle on him

this is more mean than he could be, but after the gym thing and the handjob, he knows how soap responds when pushed, and he wants to push some more, see what it gets him. which is more tension but also a way for them to be in each others space without getting mad. when soap gets on his knees he almost expects it, was waiting for something like that to happen again, wanted it to. he leaves him because it's easier not to make it into a thing that way

he doesn't think soap is his, but it does change things. that despite their friction soap would do that, show him that they are a team, shows him he can trust him. makes him think that maybe this can work, even if this is just working together. even if he wants to push his buttons some more

the granola bar thing is half flirting, half peace offering. they get on each others nerves but ghost is finding out more and more just how much he likes that. and that despite soap's protests, he must like it too

100%, soap saying that clicks into place just how much he does want those things, that this whole thing has been messing with him more than ghost realized

yeah this is where he's being a shit and pushing some more, too much fun not to when it keeps getting soap all worked up, can't stay away from it — from soap, but it's not a game to him, not in the way soap thinks it is.

i'm not sure how to categorize those feelings other than being a lot, to me that's always the appeal of their dynamic; the closeness, the way they can't articulate what they need from each other, other than knowing they need each other. in persona it starts out with dislike, but even then they can't stay away, they're not the same and yet they are, blending together even when they try to stay apart

i hope i delivered lksjdhkjhst and i hope i didn't mess up your own answers 🙏

I had a really nice day. It was fun working from home. It was also kind of hard because I needed feedback and had questions I will have to wait on. But I got a lot accomplished!

I didn't stay home the whole time though. I would go out at one point. I had a very productive day.

I slept alright last night. James had fallen asleep on the couch for a while and I found it hard to fall asleep knowing they were out there. I would go out and kiss them on the head and they said they were sorry and came back to bed. They didn't do anything to be sorry about, but I told them it was okay anyway.

They were already gone to work when I woke up at 9. I am glad I got to sleep in. This whole week I'm going to get to sleep a little longer and that's just so lovely.

I felt good when I woke up. I stripped the bed and tidied up a bit. And went to get washed up.

I had decided I would listen to an audio book today. Since that would be long and I wouldn't have to change it basically all day. I chose one called "The fungus" from 1990. And it was great. I really liked it. It was an apocalypse story about a mushroom/spores that take over London. It was narrated so well. There were some very very random sex scenes, and it talked about rape 4 separate times. But overall I really enjoyed it! It was nice to finish that all today while I did all my little tasks.

I decided to take a shower and wash my hair. I did not use enough conditioner and felt sort of like a lion all day. Just very fluffy hair. But it was very clean and that was nice. I felt a little greasy last night. So this made me feel better, very clean.

James had made me an omelet that they left in the microwave. And it was a particularly good one. I brought it to my studio along with my laptop to get to work.

I would spent the first couple hours of the day designing a holiday card and a postcard to give to couples who get married at camp. I thought it would be fun to have 'happy holidays' in Blackfoot. Which is what language Puhtok is from. And I was able to find it! It is more a direct translation to have a happy Christmas, but it's close enough and a debated translation. I think it's more about use, and I have literally no idea how to pronounce it. But I think it's so cool that we could use that. I hope the office agrees.

The postcard was also fun but I struggled a lot with the language on it. I made a patch design and I think it's very cute but I am not positive it's correct. Next week I will hopefully get some feedback and make it perfect. James did just tell me that I spelled congratulations wrong. Terrible. It's okay I will fix it later.

Once my laptop was on the verge of dying I would decide it was lunch time, and I would go for a drive. I had a few things I wanted to go do, and would get something to eat while I was out.

It was not as cold out, but it was very windy. Which blew my hair all over and did not help the lion hair accusations. But it was not a bad day to be out in the world.

I drove to Glen Burnie. My GPS took me a very strange way through the city to 95. Which was whatever. There wasnt any traffic and it was a pretty nice drive.

I went to value village first. I continued listening to my audio book. I enjoyed walking around and seeing all the lovely weird things. I had some excellent finds today though. I did put some things back but the trumpet candlesticks were a need. I also got a candle stick wall holder that is so lovely. I got two pairs of shoes. And another dear america book. I also got another one of the glass cups I love. I used to have more but I only have one now!! So now I have a second one again. And for $2 instead of the $20 they normally cost. Amazing.

I would pay at the self checkout after walking through the store a few times. Even though it had lights on the lady was super when I needed help when it acted wrong. "I didn't want you to use that one!!" Well then why was the light on?? And you didn't say anything. Whatever. I checked out and headed to tacobell.

It was surprisingly busy. A whole construction crew ordering at the counter. I ordered at the kiosk and had barely any wait. It was very strange.

I was all of a sudden overheated and not having a good time. I had to open the windows while I ate my lunch in the car. But once I cooled down I would feel better and be okay. Even if I had to put the AC on high in the car for a few minutes.

Target was more money then I expected. But I had fun and stuck to my list pretty well. I was very excited about the cookie/truffle tins. They light up!! It's a decoration and a snack! I was very excited for the skirt, which I thought was $10 but was actually $4! I got some hair cream. For the lion hair. And then I was done. And it was time to go home.

It was a fine drive home even if people were dumb and were being bad about merging. But I made it home in one piece.

When I got inside I took some haul pictures to show Jess what I got. And took all the tags off and put things away. And then it was back to work.

I would work on my laptop on the schedule for camp until almost 6pm. This was rough. I went through the whole schedule 3 times. I got some of it sorted. I made a lot of mistakes. I accidentally doubled things up. But I think Im at least going in the right direction even if I don't have it done yet. It was really tough to think I had it, after 3 rounds of typing everything out, and realizing it wasn't correct m it was kind of upsetting. But I need someone else who understands the schedule to give me some answers about who goes tubing and canoeing and how many lifeguards we might have. And it is just a larger task then I think I thought. And I already knew it would be hard!

I still enjoyed my book though. James would come home while I was still working. And we chatted while I worked and they helped me go over the schedule and we thought it was correct and then when I realized it wasn't I had someone to be sad with while I called it a day.

James warmed up leftovers for us. And they went to their room to play DND with friends. And I started reading another book.

Actually reading this time and not listening. I got a copy of "ballad of songbirds and snakes" and read the first 3 chapters and it's great so far. I loved the hunger game series when it came out and I'm excited that I finally am interested in reading the prequel. So then I can watch the movie.

I would take a quick shower. And get changed. I hung out in my studio for a bit. Changing out my piercings. Feeling annoyed with my second hole in my ear. I don't have any good rings for it right now, they are all broken or missing parts. I have some earrings I can wear but I am not thrilled with them right now.

I grilled my bangs and moisturized my face. And now me and James are in bed.

And tomorrow is Thanksgiving. We are going to the Chang's and I am looking forward to that. But during the day I hope to read and do some sewing. I usually hate holidays because it's so much waiting and then I can't function. But I have decided that I am doing these two things so I can't be upset about waiting all day.

And I can just be thankful for my husband and my family.

I am also thankful for you reading this. I love you. Goodnight everyone.

Fic writer asks!

🎀 🌿 💞

fic writer asks @beck-a-leck

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

i'm really good at characterizing. as in, making a character "feel real". like they are a person and not just a character with a handful of catch phrases. however, i think a lot of that comes from my history of being a roleplayer before a dedicated writer. since that can be a lot like method acting in a way. i really get into a character's head to figure them out. so when i write, it feels authentic and believable. there's real feeling behind everything they do and think.

🌿how does creating make you feel?

i have a bit of an odd relationship with creating things. whether its drawing or writing. some people have that sense of accomplishment, in the sense that they strive to finish something and have it be good. i do too. however, that's compounded on top of this NEED to create. if i'm not drawing or writing every few days or so, i feel bad. like something gets so pent up and the only way to let it out is to create something. like my skin will itch with it until i spent at least an hour doing something. i have a ton of unfinished things for this reason. none of them would i ever post. since its literally just there to get that creative flow running free instead of building up over time.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

not to sound like a kitchen sink but, a mix of everything, honestly. now don't get me wrong, i'm not out looking for strictly magnum opus levels of good stories. i'm perfectly happy with more basic or "mediocre" stories. and even "bad" stories if there's enough of a balance. like, for example. i'll read a fic where the characters are totally ooc. i'm aware they're ooc, but all the other elements make up for it enough to suspend my disbelief enough to keep reading. or the ooc aspect is so intriguing it causes me to want to know more. my only real deal breaker is not using at least some basic grammar and spelling. if i can't tell what the hell is going on becuse there's no clear indication of who's talking, who's narrating, and things like that, then i will usually pass on it.

Okay, so I'm not sure if my first ask went through or not. There seemed to be a lil glitch, so I'm sending this again. If there are two asks from me in your box, please ignore one of them!

I'm going to ask a few, but feel free to pick and choose. Thank you!

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

and... dealer's choice! What's one ask you want to answer but haven't yet?

Hello my friend! I did not receive your original ask so there's no worries!

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

Literally anything from anything Avior I've written (like Avior washing Starlight's hair after Starlight took a tumble) but specifically the moment in "You're Mine (I Don't Share)" where Avior is losing control of his magic and his eyes are glowing like small suns and the magic cloaking his horns is wavering. I always imagined them shimmering like the heat mirage on a hot road I live in a desert it's normal to see on the highway in summer

That would look super cool.

Also just about any of the interactions between Elliott and Aaron that I've written.

Or or or! Hang on! I would love to see someone's interpretations of the (no powers) rockstar!AU I've dabbled in. That would be amazing!

I am also always enamored when people draw the Pups AU kiddos even though I haven't written anything for them for a long time just because of how touched I am that someone liked what I wrote enough to make art of it even though the characters are original, so more of that would be adored.

There are so many others but this is already long so I'm gonna move on

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

This is gonna sound kinda dumb, but genuinely, leave the house. When I stay inside for too long I stagnate creatively. And I find inspiration in all the little things. A good long walk is great. Going grocery shopping, even. But other excursions are also a massive help.

I also think a lot in the shower. Great idea generator there.

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

I'd hope the variety in it. I try different things a lot. I'm usually a "Fluff" writer but I love good angst and I like trying other framing devices. Like sometimes writing from the Redacted voiced character POVs (which I've only done like twice but it was fun both times). I like trying different things.

I also hope my attempts at humor in the narration is distinct for me. I love using humorous lines to show internal emotions without actually having to spell out their thoughts in italics. Outwardly everything is one way but the internal monologue of the character is the exact opposite. I think that's fun

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Yes! I write about the same kinds of stuff all the time. I use the word "just" way too much. I start a lot of sentences with some form of "Honestly" or "To be honest."

In my normal not-fanfiction writing I write a lot of the same things in different attempts at plots. Lots of abandoned WIPs featuring mermaids, princesses, magic, people with wings, some pirates, werewolves and vampires... yeah. My most common settings on those kinds of things is either Contemporary/Normal Earth But With Fun Stuff Going On (IE Mermaids or Werewolves) or Generic Fantasy-Land #38459886

I think my most common theme since getting married has been "the healthiest relationship I can feasibly portray while also letting it be A Teensy Bit Spicy™"

Dealer's Choice! 51. What’s your total AO3 word count?

This one I'm doing just to flex /j

This is my total Audio RP AO3 word count. As in, the Redacted and Good Boy Audios stuff I have on AO3 under the StarlitAngels pseud. Nothing from my other works (which are all short and bad and old), and not including a handful of GBA stuff I haven't posted to AO3

Ready?

As of right now, with everything newly updated:

574,538

... Yup.

What do you think the saf characters' cutie marks would be?

WELL *prepares to infodump* I'M SO GLAD U ASKED ANON

so when I was originally thinking abt a SAF x MLP crossover, cutie marks were actually the first thing I thought about! I sketched them out (along w/ some explanations) in a notebook:

so some transcriptions/elaboration:

Curt

Spying. Duh. Pretty self-explanatory.

He got his VERY VERY young for smth very stupid like "spying" on his mother to see what she was buying him for his birthday

Which is a great plan until the next day you literally have to explain how you got your cutie mark overnight

ALSO when discussing the idea w @finalgirlmartinbrody , they pointed out the hilarity of a spy having a cutie mark that clearly says they're a spy, so just imagine that agencies use glamour spells pretty frequently lmao

So in MLP there's this pretty interesting concept they explore now and then of basically like. Losing the meaning of your cutie mark. Not doing what you're meant to do. SO to add some ~spice~, Owen's special talent is theatre!

Owen

Got his later on in high school, definitely got picked on a bit for that

He basically convinces himself once he becomes a spy that the mark means he's good at acting as in being undercover/in disguise (but deep down knows that isn't the case)

Also fuels that later resentment towards agencies

Tatiana

Ok this sort of feeds into a HC I have in general- that Tatiana is the mystery woman at the beginning of the show (or at least closely connected) because like. Random voice narrating a story? Yeah cool and mysterious ig. Tatiana being the one to tell us the story of how one of her best friends fell apart? MUCH more dramatic and tragic and all that fun stuff. So ofc she's a singer here!

Got cutie mark because when she was younger, she used to sing lullabies to herself/the other kids as a comfort thing

Like Owen, she was forced into something that wasn't her destiny

Though I like to think while undercover for a time she worked as like a lounge singer and it was one of the happier times in her life

Barb

So kind of a no-brainer.

Science! Numbers!

I like to think she also gets her cutie mark young, like accidently blowing smth up in a science class, and the teacher starts yelling at her but Barb does not give a shit because cutie!! mark!!

Cynthia

Okay hers is a speech bubble and exclamation points. Because she's the boss, and her job is to tell others what to do.

BUT there is definitely a huge not-so-inside joke around A.S.S. (and the government) (and all the international agencies) (literally Susan will make the jokes to her face) that Cynthia's special talent is yelling at people

Cynthia is actually quite proud of this rumor and actively encourages it

Informant

Mask! For disguises! Obviously!

I wanted smth to include accents but wasn't quite sure how to portray that?

He likes to say that their real talent is being fashionable

Deadliest Man Alive

Hee-hee knife go stabby-stabby

Talent for being a murderer #okayedgelord

Owen uses a glamour to disguise this cutie mark everyday obviously

HC that Sergio once sees him putting the glamour on and is just like "omg he changes his cutie mark to be even more terrifying omg that's so cool he's so sick omg"

Mrs. Mega

Wasn't entirely sure what I wanted hers to be tbh. I didn't want to do smth like "being a mother" or "being a housewife" because I like to give my female characters actual personality beyond serving men (cough cough lots and lots of MLP fandom OCs cough cough)

I ended up going with forgery! Since we know she does it fairly often (knows how to forge passports for Tatiana & family)

Neighbors just think she's good at like. Writing checks lmao