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swampthingking · 20 days

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andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:

“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”

#pr manager is like: andrew… this is the last time i’m gonna tell you #andrew: whats the point of democracy if i can’t exercise freedom of speech #pr manager: andrew it’s no longer about your image #at this point we are concerned the fbi is going to show up #andrew: neil has connections. i’m fine #they thought marketing andrew on social media would be good #they were sooooo wrong #because now andrew has a place to share every insane thing he’s ever thought #for instance—a tweet that just says ‘an alien googling: human clothes’#he’s on there advocating for lgbtq+ youth you KNOW HE IS #he’s cursing and mildly threatening members of congress for imposing these disgusting bills #one day he tweeted ‘does mitch mcconnell know he’s dead yet’#when mitch mcconnell stepped down from senate andrew tweeted ‘hopefully next he steps down from life’#unsurprisingly: this endears him to some people and makes others fucking hate him #and he’s such a shit. he does not care either way #he’s kind of just like: pr manager. you gave me a twitter and told me to tweet. i’m just doing what you asked me #they’ve threatened to change his password so many times #they actually did once but andrew reported the account so many times for defamation and fraud that it got suspended #and he made a new account out of pure spite #his pr manager is like: andrew nobody is going to want to sign you because of your public image #and andrew is like: ?? ok. they can lose every game then #(he knows he’s the best goalie)#ok i think that’s enough for now. however i will probably be back #andrew minyard #aftg #tfc #trk #tkm #the foxhole court #all for the game

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leclercskiesahead · 3 months

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shellmotorsport It's here! Part two of @charles_leclerc and @carlossainz55 playing Two Truths and a Lie! Watch and guess along. (Part 1)

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cemeterything · 1 year

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i think the funniest thing about me as a person is that i'm often a nervous wreck and terrified of trying new things or screwing up, but my disrespect for authority is so strong that the second someone tries to suggest that i can't do something because they won't let me or don't believe i'm capable of it, it completely overwrites my anxiety and makes me determined to prove them wrong right then and there. unfortunately combined with my general impulsiveness and impatience this used to make me very easy to manipulate if you understood this about me as well as leading me to take some really stupidly dangerous risks (until i started working on my self awareness and critical thinking), but it did also lead to several very funny moments in my life where someone misplaced a lot of confidence in my inability to fight back and got their shit rocked when i stepped up and called their bluff.

#🐉#reverse psychology is my greatest weakness even when im aware of it theres a part of me that wants to go against it #just to prove that i can #however it does come in handy when people assume i wont fight them after i warn them i will if they overstep a boundary ive made clear #and they cross the line anyway and get the shock of their life when i lash out in self defence #although im trying to work on nonviolent deescalation and walking away because thats not a sustainable way to defend myself #and could get me in a lot of trouble. so.#like yeah i gave them a fair warning but at the end of the day if someone tells you i bit them and has a circle of teeth marks #on their hand and theres visible blood staining my teeth no amount of 'well i did warn them' is #gonna get me off the hook and stop me from being perceived as the bad guy in that scenario. especially if there are no witnesses.

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pastafossa · 11 months

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Charlie Cox experience at Philly Fan Expo 2023

So LET”S TALK ABOUT ME MEETING CHARLIE. I’m actually going to make two posts - this one just about my experiences with Charlie, because they were incredibly meaningful and deserve their own post, and then another one about the rest of the con!

I’m going to talk about Charlie first, because of how amazing the experience was, one of the best I’ve had, especially at the autograph table. I’ve done photos, gotten autographs and such before from other celebs - from niche voice actors I loved to people like David Tennant - but this felt Really Really Big. Obviously, I was nervous as all hell because holy shit Charlie Cox, my favorite actor whose work altered the course of my life. I won’t lie - I’d been practicing what to say to him in case I freaked out, but I’m happy to say that everyone who reassured me it would go great, because he was so, so genuine and kind, were right.

The photo op happened first (and thank you to everyone on tumblr guiding me where to go, cause I was LOST about where that was happening), and that went fast. By that point in the con hall, I’d already ditched my Jessica Jones jacket and gloves cause holy shit it’s hot and I am a creature of snow and ice, and my hair was a mess, but honestly I didn’t care, cause there he is. You don’t get long, but he made the most of it and he was SO sweet. Ya’ll, he asked my name, said my name as he shook my hand, and called me ‘my dear’ in that beautiful voice.

I was literally on the moon, but it was time for the big question:

Will he hold the red thread from TRT?

So in a quiet, nervous, soft author voice, I asked, ‘would you be ok with holding this end of the thread?’

HE FUCKING DID.

HE HELD IT.

HE HELD. THE. RED. THREAD.

I’m fairly certain he doesn’t know about the fic at this point - he wasn’t sure where to hold it until I told him, but he loved that it lit up! AND THEN HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME AND I GOT TO PUT MY ARM AROUND HIM BACK.

I’m fairly certain I’m dead in the photo. My soul had left my body. I had ascended. I saw Jesus and he looked like Charlie. I had achieved fic author heights never imagined. My brain filled with enough serotonin and dopamine to sink a ship. I didn’t care that I was hot and sweaty or that my hair was messy or that my cosplay didn’t work out like I’d planned. I had been blessed.

also look at that forearm holy shit

I floated outta that gd room ya’ll. I’m pretty sure @wonderlandmind4 did the same. WE FROLICKED OUT OF THAT HALL LIKE

But things got even better at the autograph table, and I had one of the most touching experiences ever.

not me tearing up thinking about it.

That line was long, but I kept getting glimpses of him and I could already tell he was enjoying interacting with people, and he was making sure everyone got their bit of time with him instead of letting anyone rush people through. He was so happy looking, laughing and grinning, high fives and fist bumps for kids, chatting with fans. Which made me feel a little more confident.

I know some people wondered if I’d tell him about TRT, and I’d already decided I wasn’t going to. Instead, I really, really wanted just a second to tell him what his work as Daredevil had meant for me, as someone who became disabled around the same time Matt did as a kid, and who related to... a lot of what Matt went through in the show. I’d practiced it over and over again, and there was only a fifty percent chance I wouldn’t start crying while telling him, and I wasn’t even sure I’d have time to tell him depending on how much time we had.

He made time.

I got up to him with my art print holy shit he’s even more beautiful in person and his eyes are STUNNING. He said hi, and asked my name so he could personalize the autograph if I wanted (DUH, YES PLEASE), and he apologized about the line after we shook hands. I jokingly told him it was fine since I’d driven hours to get here. A little time in line wasn’t a bother. He even loved one of the buttons on my lanyard - the button of Matt wearing a heart crown specifically! And as he was writing, I knew this was my chance to tell him. He was still signing, so I just decided to go for it in case I ran out of time.

“I just wanted to tell you,” I said quietly, “as someone who became disabled as a kid around the same age as Matt did—”

And then he did something I didn’t expect, something I’d rarely seen anyone do, famous or not, and something I’d never had an actor or artist do for me.

He immediately set down the pen, leaned in close over the table, and made direct eye contact, while giving me the most genuine, gentle, encouraging smile I’d ever seen.

In that moment, I knew everything in him was listening, that he cared about what I was about to say and recognized that this was important to me, and that he’d closed the distance to make this conversation just... us. It felt personal in a way I’ve never experienced at a con or signing.

Just like that, I wasn’t afraid to tell him what I’d wanted to.

“And as someone who related to... a lot of what Matt went through, his struggles in the show, and especially the dark parts of season 3,” I said, more confidently now, “I wanted you to know that all the work you put in, the way you played it, the way you played Matt and treated it seriously, seeing that helped me process and heal from a lot of my own trauma and pain over what I’ve gone through with my illnesses. What you did was important and it really helped me. So I wanted you to know that, how much that meant to me, and to say thank you.”

The whole time I spoke to him, he kept direct eye contact, and didn’t look away once. He didn’t get antsy, or look like he wanted me to hurry up (which I’d have understood, cause damn, these are long days for him). He listened, fully engaged and leaning in, his eyes warm and soft and kind but incredibly serious. I’m not sure how often he’s been told something like this—a lot, I expect; his portrayal was just that good, and I know it was important to a lot of fans—but what I was trying to tell him clearly meant something to him. I felt heard, seen, and understood.

Charlie really does care about his fans. It isn’t an act. I’m sure of it now.

“Thank you, truly,” he said, just as quietly but with that honest smile, eye crinkles and all, and seeing it in person, that close up, I swear the room felt ten times brighter. “Thank you for coming to tell me that. It means a lot, the idea that something I did meant so much and that it could help you. I’m so grateful that you were able to come visit and tell me.”

We shook hands after that. He wished me a good day and I told him thank you again, and that was that. The interaction only lasted maybe a minute, but it meant the absolute world to me, as did what he’s done as Daredevil. And now he knows that.

#Philly Fan Expo #Charlie Cox #Daredevil #he HELD THE THREAD ya'll #my fanfic author life is now complete #and honestly as a fan i don't know if any other experience will ever top those moments I got with Charlie #he is so so kind and warm and wonderful #the way he immediately stopped and gave me his full attention when i started to tell him what it meant #i just had to stop for a second and collect myself because just...#he was *listening* and despite all the noise and chaos i suddenly had his full attention #the way he leaned in so the conversation felt like it was just us and the way he cocked his head and focused on me like #i can't think of a single celeb or interaction like that where i've felt that much like what i was saying to him mattered #(that's not dissing the other actors and celebs i've met. they've all been wonderful! but charlie definitely has a special kindness i think)#and i can now say having been that close to him and having spoken with him over something fairly serious #he is literally one of the kindest celebs i've met and the most genuine #you can literally see the warmth in his eyes when he looks at you. he's *legitimately* happy you're there to talk to him or see him #maybe one day he'll find out about TRT. i'm honestly not sure #but even if he doesn't at least I got a chance to tell him how much what he's done has helped me heal #from a lot of really... really hard things in my life #and according to a friend (who I didn't even know was there but spotted me talking to Charlie from another line!)#Charlie did indeed stay until WAY late signing everyone's stuff so that no one missed an autograph #he said his estimation of Charlie just shot way up because even hours later he was still taking his time with each fan that came up #Charlie has absolutely solidified as my favorite actor and one of the nicest people I've had the pleasure of meeting

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ayrennaranaaldmeri · 6 months

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man the dev notes w/ the stormshore tabernacle convo. whatever they're there for it's kind of remarkable how so much of the notes there for her are just textbook abuser stuff.

#tbd #after all the advantages I gave you -- i have the visceral skin crawl reaction its the abusive parent anthem #things that make my skin crawl bruh #it's everything I did for you #child who i groomed #I'm being so magnanimous towards you giving you time == child who i groomed #look at how merciful i am even though my first instinct is that i don't like how you didn't obey me #the dev notes of that convo genuinely make it worse boooy #which well done but also i will throw hands #dming helm pls kill her again #anyway i think it's kind of fascinating that most gods in this game show themselves as these larger than life figures but mystra?#you are seeing the person who did that to gale you are seeing that person #that person came to him as a child #like that divine separation has just not been there #esp with the build up #where she first dispatches elminster and then again when he tells you about the grant but at the end it's just her in this human figure #i genuinely feel like it deliberately strips that divine separation away & its another layer of insidiousness on her part #it's grounded in the sense of the damage she'd done to gale idk i am waffling but its just something about it is worse when it's so..wow.#idk i think in this game? i think she's not written like the other gods in this game and i think it makes her worse not more sympathetic #bg3 spoilers #abuse tw

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ninicaise · 11 months

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paschal is very interesting morally bc yes he obviously cared about laurent and ended up saving the day but also. this cunt held onto that letter for god knows how long as laurent was being humilliated in a trial entirely rigged against him with the most likely result of a certain painful torture and death and he only revealed the truth when damen begged him to. for a doctor he sure has no goddamn idea where is spine is for like 99% of the series i love it i love him

#i'm sure he had to heal some of laurents uhhh injuries by the regent . at some point in life #and he also said nothing.#i understand his endangered position and his precaution but laurent was literally trying to khs when he gave himself up to the regent #he thought he was utterly alone in the world. and youre gonna tell me #that you were with this boy for 7 years. as he was being abused in literally every way possible. sexually emotionally probably physically #and you did JACKSHIT about it. i dont mean start a communist resolution i mean you did no attempt to comfort the poor thing #and THEN you were ready as hell to let some council hags execute him for something you have proof he is innocent of #out of what??? FEAR.#fascinating!!!!!#i love it when characters are actually interesting #paschal #captive prince #kings rising

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side-b-bumblebi · 7 months

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Men who view women as their intellectual equals 😍

#pro tip for the boys: a lot of girls will respond a lot better to a stimulating conversation than to a guy trying to show off #ignore the movies they're lying to you when they tell you you need to be a show off #and if a girl wants that it's maybe not the best sign y'know?#but most girls just want to be treated like we're capable intelligent humans #that's all!! the movies and shit make it way more complicated than it has to be #and yes some girls do make things awkward and complicate everything #but maybe you wanna be careful about that because those girls generally have a lot to unpack #being friends with those girls is fine!! just make sure you have strong boundaries in place #and make sure she's doing some work on herself before considering a romantic relationship #but anyway i've had a lot of men in my life that i feel like wanted to be so much smarter than me #and not to be rude but they weren't?? i was just as smart and sometimes smarter #i didn't care that they were confident in their intelligence but i felt like i needed to dumb myself down #and it. freaking. sucked. i have no idea how i did it for so long #and i would even make jokes about like the guys i dated being smarter than me and nobody ever said anything??#and again these guys weren't smarter than me. that's not an insult to them just acknowledging i'm smarter than i was gave myself credit for #i'm outgrowing the notion that i have to dumb myself down for men and it's so freeing #and you know what really helps me actually? being in college #and especially being in college with so many intelligent men who know they're smart #these guys KNOW they're smart. and not in an arrogant way in a secure and confident way #them knowing they're smart makes them the OPPOSITE of arrogant actually #it's weird but i stand by my observation and it makes sense when you think about it #if you're secure in yourself and your intelligence you don't need to proce yourself by making other people look dumb #these guys are secure in their self-image and masculinity. they don't need women to be dumb and weak to feel strong and intelligent.#and it's so freaking endearing. i love that for these guys so much.#i am just so thankful for people in my life who are taking me seriously and who are helping me to understand i'm worth taking seriously.#wow these tags are long but anyway #guys you don't have to prove anything girls you should never have to dumb yourselves down live long and prosper

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expy-ceri · 7 months

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Kirbytober Day 16: Dimension / Spinoff

“homies”. i am giving up. im done. im tired. tomorrow is the last time i’m bothering with a background, and thats only because my preliminary sketch has one

#look you can tell i gave up on the background #kirby #magolor #kirbtober #kirbytober2023 #chuchu…?#the original quip was Me and the Homies when we spend our life savings on getting dripped out #too bad i overestimated my time management skills

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aengelren · 4 months

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she smiled through the pain so could see her smile for one last time

#she tried to hold it in but the eyes gave it away #she wanted to tell him it’s okay and give him comfort in his last second because as horrible as Eren is to the world #the bonds they shared were the purest thing in all of their lives #when i do get my Em hits let me tell you #the ache i feel #it’s genuinely squeezes the life out of me #uahg i’m not gonna cry lol bye #Aot end #the end #Eremika

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ask-artsy-oncie · 8 months

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I was reminded of the time that tumblr tried to make "monster high but with tumblr sexymen", and one of the characters was (obviously) the daughter of the once-ler.

And the funny thing to me about that is that in the canon of the illumination lorax movie, the once-ler is heavily implied to have an estranged daughter. I don't know all the sexymen off the top of my head but I think he might've been one of the only ones referenced in that trend who actually had a daughter in his own canon.

#Stupid shit #I'm gonna provide context in the tags for those who want it but I also like the idea of just leaving it there #Okay so for anyone who wasn't in the fandom: when people say the movie gave us no one to ship the Once-ler with they were LYING #The movie gave the Once-ler no MALE characters to ship him with - thus Oncest started #However - the second most popular Once-ler ship was between him and Norma #(Who - if you haven't seen the movie in a while - is Ted's grandmother who tells him about the Once-ler and how to find and barter with him #This was mostly just a ship born from theory and logical deduction - why does Norma know so much personal info about the Once-ler?#Were they perhaps friends? Lovers? In the past? Where was she in his life and at what points? When did she leave?#And people started making theories and shipping the two - primarily as past lovers. But there was art of them reconnecting for sure.#HOWEVER - this also meant that there was a theory that Ted's mom was also related to the Once-ler #As in - hmm this daughter of a very short fat woman is oddly tall and thin... hmmm #And so the running theory wasn't just that the Once-ler and Norma were once lovers - but that the Once-ler was also Ted's grandfather #Who was entirely estranged from the family due to self-exile and possibly bad blood between him and Norma at some point during his downfall #(I actually do think that it's funny that the Once-ler's youngest design purposefully draws some comparison between him & the Truffula tree #Only for the character theorized to be his daughter to also evoke some Truffula tree imagery in her design)#ANYWAYS that was a theory for about as long as the movie was out - Normaler (the ship) was a thing for as long (if not longer) than Oncest #And was present enough that there were like actively flame wars between the two groups of shippers #Like literally I directly remember this it's so insane to me that no one ever brings this up when talking about the shipping in this fandom #BUT THEN!!!! The Lorax comes out on DVD. The fandom rejoices and everyone takes pictures of themselves buying or holding the DVD.#If you dig far enough and I haven't deleted it yet you might find mine. I was in full cosplay wig and all.#Anyways - we have the movie in HD now!! No more cam rip footage!!!#And now we can take high-quality screenshots that truly show off the detail of the backgrounds in this movie #(The fandom loved to gush about how detailed and well-designed the movie's backgrounds were - that wasn't just a throwaway transition)#Only - what's this?????#In one of the shots at the end of the movie - we very briefly get to see the inside of the Once-ler's lurkim - like the living room #AND THERE - IN THE BACKGROUND - ONLY VISIBLE IN HD #IS A PHOTOGRAPH OF A WOMAN WHO SUSPICIOUSLY HAS THE EXACT SAME SILHOUETTE AS NORMA #Normaler fans rejoice and 'Grandpa Once-ler' theory is accepted into canon (or - more accurately - 'implied canon') by most fans #So yes - for those keeping track - while the evidence wasn't as concrete as it could have been #The Once-ler is implied to have been the father of Ted's mom in the movie

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neurospicyyy · 6 months

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Yes, I threw fits when I was a kid.

No, I wasn’t in control.

No, you shouldn’t judge me for it.

Yes, I am aware you think I had the choice.

But surely you understand I didn’t really have one?

Surly you understand I was struggling?

That I’m still struggling?

That I always will be?

#neurodivergent #adhd #actually adhd #ocd #childhood memories #sorta vent in tags vv #I’m still dealing with the social consequences of that time period. People’s attitude towards me after those years #really damaged my mental health. Sometimes I think I’m not enough.#That my problems aren’t enough to say I was struggling. Then I look back… and yeah I can tell I was struggling #Idk wtf was going on because my adhd and ocd probably didn’t cause that. But I don’t show enough signs of autism to even #consider being diagnosed. Sometimes I wonder if I actually was in control. There was no trauma. No serious issues. Nothing.#Because I was running around like a maniac whenever I got upset. It stopped only after 3rd grade. With the help of a good teacher.#my so called “meltdowns” are probably internal now. I kinda s3lf h@rm and stuff when I don’t get my way now. When I’m seething in self #loathing because of something I did. You know. Normal behavior.#My life is a freaking mess. And it’s nobody’s fault. Except maybe my own? I don’t know. I always forget about that time period. Probably ca #se the teachers gave me a lot of bad memories during it. It wasn’t because of the teachers… but they certainly weren’t helping.#neurospicy #neurosparkly #actually ocd #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #I tell myself i didn’t have the choice though. I was young…#sorry for the vent

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sherlock-is-ace · 14 days

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.

#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment #wow #i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying #if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time #and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted #so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself #because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to #go in myself either way was way worse to me #because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to #''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever #and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in #and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed #although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous #but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this #that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...

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uncanny-tranny · 2 years

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Trans people, please don't rely on other people to tell you if your experiences or identity is valid.

It is a very human thing to seek understanding and validation (humans are social creatures and whatnot), but seeking people to tell you that who you are is valid places a ton of power in others. What happens when somebody tells you that they don't think you're valid?

And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if your identity is "valid" or not to other people. What matters is if your identity suits you. You aren't a robot who lives at the behest of others, who can change the core of your being at the drop of a hat. You will continue to exist as you are with or without validation and with or without permission.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #when i was young i sought being told i'm valid because my environment told me i wasn't...#...but then i felt distress when i was told i wasn't valid because that's what i've been told all my life...#...nobody should have the power to take away your identity or anything like that...#...and i gave people the power to do that. i put way too much trust in strangers and they decided if they wanted me to hurt or not...#...this is why i personally dislike the posts saying '[x] is valid!'...#...it indirectly implies there is a point where you can slide into being 'invalid' and it does the same thing i used to do...#...i think more people ought to embrace that it doesn't matter what OTHERS think of who you ARE. that's shit you can't change...#...i can't convince people i am valid if they think i am not. i'm not wasting my time and energy and safety in order to fight people...#...if you think my identity is 'invalid' or 'valid' is of no consequence to me. you don't hold the power to make me change...#...i will continue to exist as i am and so will you...#...learn to embrace the idea that nobody can or should hold power over you to tell you if you're right in your identity or not #this is a really oversimplification but i'm trying to type this out as fast as i can before going to work again lol #this is NOT meant to disparage or shame people who want validation. it's more a warning or reminder #there is NO shame in wanting validation. that is a VERY human thing to need. you are NOT a bad person for wanting validation #i just want to caution people to remember that giving undue power to other people to validate who you ARE can have consequences #but it isn't your fault if you sought validation and were hurt instead. that isn't your fault. you don't deserve to be hurt

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yashley · 1 month

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no but it's hilarious to me that imogen herself has been parroted how terrible liliana is, how she knows she’s a bad guy, how she knows she needs to bring her down, and yet still they're like "i mean have you ever thought that your mom is evil and irredeemable????" lmao

#cr lb #like what am i on that i'm like how is THIS the conclusion when you have So much to actually consider #conflict for imogen and her personhood in relation to liliana and her role in this cult is SO good so why are certain people just #smacking her on the back telling her this shouldn't be hard for her :/ suck it up #they're treating liliana like a one sided villain npc when even delilah was more multifaceted than that #yeah it sucks liliana's true motivations and experiences are literally kept from us but like #she gave a relationship with her daughter for her daughter's life like there's Something going on #also it's cute to me that people get treated poorly by parents and then see an imperceivable parent figure and are like #well THEY"RE BAD!!!!!!!#like lmao ok i forgot what's happening is just something You're witnessing and you know everything you're so cool #like it's a thing for a reason. you can project your experiences on someone else and you can STILL be wrong my guy lmao

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todayisafridaynight · 1 month

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took a modern japanese history class just to flex on everyone that the only reason why i know so much about the meiji period is because im mentally disturbed about a franchise about criminals and they just so happened to make a game specifically about the meiji period

#snap chats #the funniest thing is on my exam today there were only two (two) meiji period related . vocab.#The Meiji Restoration and Saigo Takamori so you know i wrote essays about those #i legally had to mention tokugawa. of course. bald bitch #cause my exam was like. prof gave us twelve words but he only graded ten and you had to tell him who or what it was #why it was important and when it took place. or when they were most relevant yeah #ACTUALLY the easiest exam of my life- i mean it was bullshit the study guide he gave us had SIXTY-ONE FUCKING WORDS #like of course i studied them all because you gottaa be prepared but my man what the fuck #anyway i hate the bitches in that class theyre annoying as hell and always make me feel like shit. they dont even talk to me #i just hate how they talk and what they say it ruins my mood instantly #but at least i got to sit and daydream about ryuji for like twenty minutes and yk what that almost makes it worth it #cant wait to go over the horror japan committed during ww2 next week bye guys

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oatbugs · 2 months

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idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do

#listen. take a deep breath. i know your bpm is high but you need to think with me for a second.#remember that you are paper thin. all your facets are sheets of paper and what you gave her is just another one.#make a new one. you dont need it. you dont need her to see you. i know you think you need her but you will be okay. i know its hard.#you wish you could have shown her how you loved her. listen to yourself. you are made of paper.#she might be concrete or maybe wood or maybe gold. you need to start laying your roots elsewhere. shut that thought down #and blink and listen. the parts you keep thinking of arent lost. they still happened and they are yours to keep.#there is beauty in this loss. tell me about the beauty in this loss. its okay to think about it. you got to see it all and nothing more #and this is great because it would have been bad. you know it would be violent in a way you dont need. you know this to be true.#you are going to look at that empty space in her shape and youre going to fill it with everything that happened when you knew her.#the memories with her but then also the the way your friends talked you through it. the game with the clovers.#your first allergic reaction you almost died and you couldnt stop laughing and you were held so close to their hearts.#learning the names for all the floursecent gene tracking dyes that everyone else knows already. about the exam - listen again.#i know you think if you fail your life is over but you need to try your best. youre not going to get a good grade in a uni test for the fir #youre going to make up for it. youre going to make sure you make up for it. do you understand? i love you. you have to do this.#right now you need to sit up. breathe. i know your heart hurts. go to the living room. grab something to eat. i dont care if you feel full.#youre going to clean your mattress heater. youre going to study a bit longer and then youre going to sleep. youre going to tell your mother #im sorry and i might genuinely fail a test. shes going to tell you its okay. if you do badly in this course you can just become a neurosurg #just agree. dont argue right now. its okay. youre okay. you are paper thin. i know any puncture hurts.#breathe. think of your friends. think of their hands in yours. it isnt eternal.youve lived through worse. the empty sky is still beautiful.#the lack of her is still beautiful

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