#when destiel the ship had its first fic posted
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First as a disclaimer: I'm pretty sure I'm not an anti (I'm anti death threats and am fine with incest, age-gap, abusive ships etc)
However I'm probably still a social/political enemy for various reasons but you sometime post asks from people you disagree with I think and I think you might know this answer.
Anyway onto my question I'm the kind of shipper who likes canon compliant ships and looking for hints and stuff but these days it feels like everyone boasts about how much their ships deviate and poop on canon etc. Do other shippers with my mentality still exist and I just don't notice them (Outside of anti spaces) or are we actually a dying breed?
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Eh. I think "political enemy" has a pretty fluid definition if one is really into playing politics. If you aren't out campaigning on a white supremacy platform, we probably have some goals in common.
I usually block people for being extremely annoying on a day I'm feeling hormonal or for attacking people particularly viciously in my comments, not for nominally being in some other camp.
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I think the more canon-adjacent fandom flavors are actually really common.
They're a little lost in the tumult of "My headcanon is actually canon!!!" stuff on tumblr that we like to laugh at on my own blog.
They're also less common in oldschool m/m-shipping spaces because those are often inherently non-canon ships. In the past, it was because homophobic censorship wouldn't let anything be made. These days, it's because the flavor of m/m a lot of people like is more easily found by adding romance to a buddy canon than by trying to add buddy-ness to a romance canon in many cases, and this can be true even if canon is original m/m aimed at fandom types.
Here's the thing: oldschool m/m shippers tend to be particularly prone to building community spaces and recording our history precisely because it's so easily erased and so often attacked. This type of shipper also tends to have more of a cohesive identity. That makes it far easier to name ourselves and set up little fiefdoms on modern social media.
I'm one of these people. Shittons of the people doing amateur fandom history work are. Much of the OTW old guard are. And lots of us know each other at least a bit, so if you're running into one of us, you're probably running into more of us.
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However, that doesn't actually mean this type of shipping is the most common or that there have never been spaces devoted to something else.
That old Beauty and the Beast tv series with Linda Hamilton had epic canon shippers. So did Moonlight (the vampire tv series). So did and does Twilight.
A lot of these shippers had this as their first and possibly their only fandom and carried on being obsessed long after canon was over.
Lizzie/Darcy shippers put anything I have ever been a fan of to shame. No matter what the AO3 numbers show, this ship far, far exceeds the popularity of Destiel or any of the other m/m heavyweights.
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I think the problem you're running into is that in the modern era of binging things on Netflix and regular joes being huge media geeks, analyzing canon in a nerdy way and obsessing over your canon ships is just how a big chunk of the population engages with media.
Fan theories that are closely tied to what was actually on the screen/page are the bread and butter of water cooler conversations and have been since The Sopranos and its ilk.
Yes, I know some fuck will immediately show up and go "Ahem, ahem, I am a GEEK and SPECIAL and the people around me never have intellectual conversations about media literally ever!!!!" just like every single time we have this conversation. But times have moved on, and being overinvested in canon theorizing just is a normie activity now, and that's great! Except when you want a special term and space to find your people.
The only time canon shippers really stand out from that is if they're extremely fic-focused, and then they often start straying farther from canon, especially if they stick around the same fandom for a long time. Either they start becoming more fans of some fic writer or they start wanting to diversify what they themselves are writing.
The really good close-to-canon fandom activities are at their best when lots of fans find the same currently-running canon at the same time and before canon itself passes its prime.
Even I started out on alt.tv.x-files, analyzing the shit out of season 2 and not caring much about non-canon things. (Though, admittedly, I was more NoRomo than MSR.)
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That said, antis are not actually that canon-focused in most cases. They will do the "My headcanon is reality" thing as much as anyone. They just tend to spend a lot of time hating on explicit m/m and a lot of explicit m/m is of non-canon ships.
Honestly... anon... you might want to figure out what the latest CSI-ish franchise is and find the obviously-future-canon het ship from that. Those tend to get the 10 seasons of build up and fan theories that don't stray too far from canon.
This stuff is not only not a dying breed, but it's so common that one of the editors of NCIS delivered a deeply cringeworthy lecture at my film school about what "shippers" are and how the Tiva shippers affected the production.
People into those ships don't need tumblr: Major entertainment magazines are publishing their fan theories for them.
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Pray for Mercy
Tickletober 2022, Day 18: Chase [LATE]
this was actually the first fic i wrote for this year's tickletober, months ago when i first finished the prompt list, before i ever officially posted it lol. i have not reread or edited this! i simply do not have the time or energy unfortunately lol, but hopefully its alright and not too messy!
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Fandom: Supernatural
Ship(s): Destiel
Characters (lee/ler): Lee!Dean/Ler!Castiel
Word Count: 2736 words
Summary: Dean should've known there were consequences to tickling an angel. Even one with such a cute, innocent smile like Cas.
[ao3 link]
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Dean raced down the halls of the bunker, skidding around corners and almost slipping every other step thanks to only being in his socks. The bunker was supposed to be safe, after all. Why would he need to wear his big, heavy boots everywhere when he could finally live in comfort? Well, Dean certainly felt like a fool, now.
Had the bunker always been this complex? It felt like a labyrinth, unrecognizable and unending, trapping him no matter what turn he took. He thought he knew the place inside and now by now, explored all the nooks and crannies during the late nights where he couldn’t sleep knowing what horrors were awaiting him behind his eyelids. Apparently, he thought wrong. Or maybe that was just the scratch of fear slithering down his neck seeping into his mind, muddling things that he knew that he knew.
Footsteps echoed around him, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once. Truthfully, Dean couldn’t be sure if they were even real, or just a figment of his own mind, traitorously adding to his torment. In a blind moment of panic, he threw open a door on his left, whipping around to shut it as quietly as he could.
The room was dim, but it was quiet. In fact, his own heavy breathing sounded deafening against the concrete walls. He was tempted to hold his breath to hide it, not wanting to give away his position, but if he was found, Dean knew that he would need it. He backed slowly into the room, eyes trained on the door as he shuffled his feet, moving slowly and carefully so he wouldn’t bump into anything and alert anyone, or anything, to his current location. As long as he was quiet, he would be safe here. Please, let him be safe here.
There was a quiet ruffle of feathers behind him, and Dean barely had time to register the sound as danger before backing into a solid chest, not having caught himself in time to stop moving. He did, in fact, stop breathing for a moment, though.
“Hello, Dean.”
“Dammit, Cas, you–!”
Dean didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, not that he really knew where he was going with it in the first place. He was quickly silenced – well, not silenced, more hindered – by Cas’s arms wrapping around him in a tight embrace, using the hold to sneak fingers into all the weak points he could reach along Dean’s sides and ribs.
Dean doubled over in his laughter, trying to claw Cas’s hands off his torso with weak and trembling fingers. Even though he knew it wouldn’t work, Dean was still offended when Cas’s hands crept high onto his upper ribs, making his arms slam down in an involuntary defense. He jerked his torso back and forth, trying to loosen Cas’s grip or dislodge him somehow, but Cas followed easily with every twist and turn. Dean wasn’t gonna get out of this so easily.
“Cas– come on!”
“Sorry, Dean, I can’t quite understand you through your laughter. Would you mind repeating that for me?”
Dean did, in fact, mind. Even if he hadn’t said anything worth repeating. So instead, bicep still pressed tightly to his ribs, Dean raised up his hand showing Cas his middle finger as best as he could.
Cas tutted. “Really, Dean, you should know better to antagonize me at this point. Did you really think you could get away with this morning’s antics without recompense?”
Note to self: never play Scrabble with Cas.
“Now, do you regret it, yet?”
Dean shook his head. Hell, no. It had been hilarious. And maybe a little adorable. Not that Dean would admit that to Cas’s face. No, Dean would keep all his thoughts about Cas’s gummy smile and his bright, bubbly laughter all to himself, thank you very much. But he certainly didn’t regret it.
Cas sighed. “You will, eventually.”
And then, surprisingly, Castiel let him go. The torment stopped, his arms unwrapped from Dean’s torso, and he took a few steps back from where they had stood, pressed together from shoulders to hips. Dean wobbled and wavered for a moment, having to readjust to holding his weight up on his own again without Cas to steady him through his remaining giggles. He shot a confused look over his shoulder, but Cas stood there as impassively as ever, appraising Dean with a calculated look.
“You have a fifteen second head start,” Cas rumbled, raking his eyes over Dean’s body, “before round two begins.”
Dean’s eyes practically bugged out of his skull. “What?”
Castiel narrowed his own. “You heard me.”
Dean didn’t need to be prompted a third time. He turned tail and ran, damn his jellied legs and trembling knees to hell, sliding down the halls in his stupid patterned socks once more. He wondered if he had time to sneak into his room and change clothes, because he suddenly felt very bare in the t-shirt and boxers he’d been lounging around in all day with Sam being gone, or if Cas would corner him before he got the chance. Ultimately, Dean decided it wasn’t worth the risk, and he kept running, directionless. He could only hope it took Cas a little longer to find him, this time.
Dean was hardly even aware of the twists and turns he was taking, his only goal being “get as far away from Cas as possible,” so when he blindly whipped around a corner and slammed directly into Cas’s body, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d just gone around in a circle at some point. Either way, Cas let out a low, growling chuckle into his ear, this time sliding his hands up under Dean’s shirt in the embrace.
“Goddammit!” Dean spat.
“Now, now,” Cas said, his voice infuriatingly calm for how much Dean was struggling in his arms. “Let’s not bring my Father into this.”
“Asshole!”
Cas sighed. “You Winchesters never learn, do you?”
Dean let out a mortifying little yip as Cas’s fingers started spidering all over his back, jerking forward and only further encasing himself in Cas’s arms. He buried his face in Cas’s neck, not wanting Cas to have the pleasure or reward of seeing his face flush from the embarrassment of his own giggling.
“Tell me, Dean, which tickles more. This?” Cas scribbled and spidered his fingers all along the backs of Dean’s ribs and sides. “Or this?” He scratched his fingers ever-so-lightly up and down Dean’s back, the feel-good tingles warring with the building ticklish feeling into a dangerous combination.
“Both, you fucking– Cas!”
Apparently, answering both meant that Cas would do both, which Dean found entirely unfair. He whined through his giggles, so far past embarrassment (at least, for this round), squirming forward and back in Castiel’s grip like either direction would get him anywhere. And then, just as quickly as he swooped in, Cas vanished from his personal space, leaving Dean wobbling once more. He leaned against the wall for a second, trying to catch his breath through his giggles.
“You have ten seconds,” Cas said.
Dean’s head shot up. “Ten?!”
Cas raised an eyebrow. “I am being incredibly generous, giving you these head starts. Are you sure you wanted to waste your time arguing with me?”
A slew of expletives slipped out of Dean’s mouth. He pushed himself off the wall and bolted past Cas, nearly tripping over himself with how shaky his legs were. Dean had been a hunter his entire life, stalked by monster and man alike, but never before had he felt more like prey than this moment. How was Cas finding him so easily, every single time? All he needed was a moment to think.
He did not get that moment. Instead, he skidded to a stop on his stupid socks, almost falling on flat on his ass, as Castiel emerged from one of the doors ahead of him. He glanced over and walked in Dean’s direction, calm and cool and collected, and Dean felt himself get even more frazzled in return. He turned on his heel and sprinted in the opposite direction, chanting lose me, lose me in his mind all the while.
Only for Cas to emerge from a different door up ahead in this direction, once again starting a calm walk in Dean’s direction.
Dean felt a wave of indignance go through him, remembering all the things he’d read about humans being endurance hunters. How they would tire out their prey, track them calmly, letting the prey spook and race off, only to be found and repeat the process again. Eventually, the prey would tire out, be too exhausted to keep it up, and that was when the human would strike. Then again, the post Dean had read was about pet owners trying to catch their escaped cats, so who knew what the truth was to that.
Cas may not have been a human, but that just gave him a sharper advantage. As an angel, he couldn’t exactly tire, but Dean, the so-called endurance hunter, could. Cas was one of the only things above humans on the food chain, and Dean was about to become lunch. The endurance hunter becoming the endurance hunted.
God, it was fun. Not that he’d ever admit it, even under pain of death.
Dean whipped around and jogged down another hallway, taking a multitude of twists and turns to try and throw Cas off his trail. Then, because it had worked so well the first time, Dean picked a door and ran inside. He almost locked it, before remembering that it would only be a detriment to himself when he would inevitably have to run away again.
Dean tried to steady his breathing, backing slowly away from the door, before he remembered where that got him last time. He whipped around, eyes scanning the dark room and ears straining for the sounds of ruffling feathers. Don’t find me here, Dean pleaded in his mind. Don’t find me here, don’t even look here.
A quiet, rolling noise caught Dean’s attention, and he whirled around to see the doorknob turning ever-so-slowly. He spat out a quiet curse, glancing around the room for a hiding place and finding none. Ultimately, he decided to back up until his back hit the wall. At least this time, there could be no surprises from behind. The door opened with a creak, and Dean tried to wipe all the giddiness and nerves from his expression. He didn’t need to give Cas the satisfaction.
“Hello again, Dean.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
Cas quirked an eyebrow, walking forward again at that maddeningly slow pace. Dean didn’t see the point in running – the room was too small for him to dart around Cas to escape, and he’d just make a fool of himself in the process – so instead, he pressed himself further into the wall, trying to brace for the coming attack.
But the attack didn’t come, this time. Instead, Cas leaned forward and kissed him, slow and sweet and languid. Dean tried to keep his composure, but it was only seconds before he melted into it, closing his eyes and humming in contentment. Cas guided Dean’s arms up around his shoulders and wrapped his own arms around Dean’s waist, pushing him even further into the wall as he pressed their bodies together. Just when Dean felt like he couldn’t stand it another moment, his lungs getting the better of him after all the running and the repeated tickle attacks, Cas pulled back and he gasped in a few breaths of air.
“Hi,” Dean murmured, a slow smile spreading across his face.
Cas brushed their noses together. “Hi.”
Cas slid his hands back around so that they were resting lightly on Dean’s stomach and hips. Dean kept his own arms around Cas’s neck for the time being, trying to count the hues of blue in Cas’s eyes.
“Are we done, then?”
Cas quirked both eyebrows this time. “No. I was just trying to lower your guard.”
Dean’s face dropped. “Wha–?”
He cut himself off with a gasp as a light, tingling sensation made itself known in his lower stomach and hips, radiating deep into the nerves. He grunted and shifted, trying to bring his hands down to defend himself, push Cas’s hands away, something, only to find that his arms were trapped around Cas’s neck, and he only succeeded in pulling Cas closer. Fucking angel mojo, tickling him with it and trapping him? That really wasn’t fair.
“You– asshole!”
“Just let go, Dean,” Cas mumbled, leaning forward to nuzzle his stubble into Dean’s neck. “You know you want to.”
Dean let out a choked sound with the added sensation on his neck, smushing his face down against Cas’s to try and push him out. All the while, the tingling beneath Cas’s hands only snuck deeper beneath his skin, growing and building on top of itself until it was almost unbearable, despite how light the feeling was. Against his will, strangled little snickers started bubbling up his throat and spilling from his lips.
“Damn you,” he bit out through it all. “How do you keep finding me so fast?”
Cas cocked his head to the side, the move far more innocent than Cas deserved to pretend to be, like a puppy who ate your lunch and was trying to make you forget all about it. Well Dean would not be forgetting, thank you very much, especially not while the puppy was still actively chewing on his damned sandwich right in front of him.
“Are you aware,” Cas said, “that you have been praying this entire time?”
If Dean could’ve frozen, he would have. Instead he was stuck squirming back and forth as his jaw dropped open, only widening the way for more laughter to escape as the light buzzing radiating out from his core threatened to consume him.
“What?!”
“Praying. Everytime you run, or try to hide, or think you hear me coming, you pray. For mercy, for guidance, for luck. And it seems I must be your default to pray to, because I heard every word, Dean. Every. Word.”
Fucking shit, how much did Dean push into those prayers? How much did Cas hear of his internal monologue? Just how screwed was he?
“You fucking cheat–”
“I don’t recall you establishing any rules. Do you?”
“There was no time–” Dean squealed, cutting himself off, as the tingling buzz swirled down and centered itself solely on his hips.
“Well, that’s your own fault, is it not?”
Oh fucking damn him. Cas played these games too well.
“Don’t worry, Dean. We both know you wouldn’t have wanted rules in the first place.”
“Fuck you.”
Cas retaliated with a raspberry directly in the crook of his neck. Dean’s knees went out, cackling and tearing up with the intensity of it all. Cas pushed into him, pinning him in place against the wall, not letting him have even that escape.
“Are you sorry yet?”
Sorry?? Sorry for what, crying all over his trench coat?
“For attacking me this morning?”
“Yes,” Dean cried out. “Yes! I’m sorry!”
Cas had mercy. He lifted his face out of the crook of Dean’s neck and pulled away his hands, sucking out the vibrations of his grace along with them. A moment later, the invisible bonds on Dean’s wrists and hands vanished and he was able to pull them back towards his body, rubbing away the ghostly feeling the grace tickles left behind.
“You have another ten seconds before round four begins.”
Dean blinked. “But– I said sorry!”
Cas stared at him, his gaze steady and calm. “I don’t believe you truly want this game to end.”
Dean didn’t know how to reply to that. He certainly would not be telling Cas that he was right.
“And since you seem so inclined to waste your headstarts, why don’t we make it five seconds, instead?” Cas smirked. “I suggest you run now, Dean.”
Dean wasn’t stupid enough to earn himself another penality, so he shoved Cas off him and he ran, a grin tugging at his sore cheeks all the while. He wondered what would be waiting for him at the end of the chase this round. He couldn’t wait to find out.
But that didn’t mean he was going to make it easy on Cas.
#augtickletober2022#tickletober#tickletober 2022#tickle fic#my writing#supernatural tickling#lee!dean#ler!castiel#ticklish!dean#supernatural#dean winchester#castiel#destiel
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Hiiii 💕💕💕
For the fic never have I ever:
1) have you ever written anything about buddie and sleeping (like an insomnia fic, nightmares, cuddling and falling asleep, etc)?
2) have you ever written anything about buddie and chronic pain?
3.) have you ever written anything about buddie and hurt/comfort? What about angst?
4) have you ever written any sort of buddie AU?
-❤️🪐
Hey, hii!
(Me, holy shit, someone actually sent me an ask? Stay cool, stay cool, it’s cool everyone!)
(Also me, oh shit, I did not realise that this means I have to remember what I’ve written. Hmm. This may have been a mistake, I have the worst memory, I really do. Goes and checks out own ao3 profile for the answers…)
Ok here we go.
Nightmares. Oh hey look at that! I’ve actually got a fic with the word in its title, who knew! A spell for nightmares & fractured hearts is a short and fluffy lil fic about Buck helping Chris heal after the tsunami, and then Chris (and Eddie) helping Buck do the same. And because I’m allergic to fluff, I followed it up with part 2 in that series being long, whumpy and angsty.
As for falling asleep, cuddling or insomnia, I can’t find anything in my quick search but I think I’ve written all of those in several of my fics, just not as a major part of the plot, more as part of the comfort part after the hurt usually.
Similar answer for chronic pain, I think? I’ve referenced it here and there in various fics but haven’t written on just about that. It’s a little bit too close to home for me, my dad has had 3 hip replacements (first because of major injury as a firefighter when I was 10, he fell through 3 floors in a burning building) so having lived with someone experiencing it, it doesn’t really appeal to me to write.
Buddie and hurt/comfort – um. Pretty much every single one of my Buddie fics?! I filtered my works with that tag and got 30 hits, so…. Here’s one I’m posting right now that I’m kinda proud of Pictures of You, in which Abuela dies post season 6, Eddie hurts and Buck comforts.
Buddie and angst – refer to above answer lol. If I had to choose a favourite, I think I’d choose empty, broken, lonely, hoping, my beloved presumed dead fic where Buck and Christopher are thought to have perished when Buck’s apartment building burns down and Eddie goes through several chapters of angst. It’s unrelenting really, poor guy.
4. Buddie AU – again, I’ve got several depending on your definition.
If you want a truly Alternate Universe, try I Once Was Lost. It’s a Peter Pan fusion where Buck is Peter, Eddie is Wendy Darling and almost all of the other characters feature in Neverland too. It covers from their childhood up until the end of season 5 and I have a particular soft spot in my heart for it.
If you prefer Canon Divergence, try There Walks Darkness. It’s basically What If Maddie didn’t kill Doug and he was arrested instead – and was one of the prisoners who took Buck and Eddie hostage in season 5? It features a lot of hurt Buck, Buck whump, worried Eddie and the 118, some of my favourite tropes to write.
And lastly, if you prefer supernatural AU, try Returned for a shorter read, which perhaps unsurprisingly is based on the movie and tv show… Returned.
Which reminds me of another supernatural AU that I can’t believe I forgot because I adore it! Trust Me, Darlin’ is my first collab, with the lovely @hella-cious! It's a Supernatural / 911 crossover in which Buck runs into an old hook up (Dean Winchester ofc) at a scene in LA and is promptly kidnapped before the 118’s eyes. Lots of angst and whump in this one and while there is Buck/Dean because lets face it, those two are far too hot not to ship together, it ends in Buddie (and Destiel too, for SPN fans!)
So, wow. There you go. This was a lot longer than I expected it to be but then I’ve never done one of these before. Thanks for being my first ask @steadfastsaturnsrings !!
#ask game#never have I ever#fanfic writing game#911#buddie#supernatural#SPN#destiel#Peter Pan#Wendy Darling#evan buckley#eddie diaz#9-1-1#911 abc#whump#angst#hurt/comfort#fanfiction#9-1-1 fanfiction
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20 questions for fic writers
Tagged by @urmomsonfire and I figured I should keep going with the writing questions today!!! (thanks kale, love u)
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 17
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
796,198 (do we think I can crack a million in close to a year we'll see)
3. What fandoms do you write for? I'm still living in Top Gun summer so I'll just be vibing here for a while
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
i want to brainwash you into loving me forever (nfl fake dating au)
baby, i'm howlin' for you (wolves & foxes au)
i can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland (rival princes au)
loose lips sink ships all the damn time (pirates au)
Love (Suite Love) (my travlor inspired AU lmao)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to!! I'm really behind right now because I get really sucked into writing (and life, been very busy with my social calendar at the moment) but eventually I'll go through and catch up. Writing like this is for community, ya know? Engagement? Making friends, being crazy together, it's the vibe. (Plus every time a comment notification dings, an idea angel gets its wings lmao it's my fave part- talking to people)
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Unhappy ending? Don't know her. I guess you can make my wish come true just cuz it ends with them deciding to kidnap the president and cyclone being like oh my god
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? it's 2am and i'm cursing your name is pretty stupid sweet but also wanna be your left hand man/iwtby left off prettyyyyyyy sweet
8. Do you get hate on fics? Everyone's always been sooooo sweet.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? *glances at my work from the corner of my eye* yes. just yes.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? My mummy fic has actual mummy characters. But I've written a lot of like inspired ones? Some loose, some closer. One based off the Mummy, one that's a mummy/national treasure crossover LMAO, one off Jurassic Park, one off Twister, one off Beauty & the Beast kinda, one off princess & the frog, one kinda princess diaries 2/how to lose a guy BUT I actually have an insane idea I came up with recently that would be a uhhhhhhh crossover I guess........I'm giggling as I think about it
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think so? I hope not.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? some people have asked! So maybe soon.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? nope! but I love to riff with other writers. i'm way too particular about my own work to co-write probably tbh
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Hangster currently! prev: buddie, destiel, sharpay/gabriella from hsm (leave me alone lmao).
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? if I post I am going to make myself finish but I have some I've never posted that I doubt I'll finish (one's a rivals fake dating destination wedding)
16. What are your writing strengths? I'd say melancholic fluffy humor and banter, others have told me world building and being lowkey emotional
17. What are your writing weaknesses? being concise and angst actually- I struggle with that sometimes
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Amazing when people can do it, but I tend to avoid writing it since I'm not fluent.
19. First fandom you wrote for? High School Musical and then I took a massive break and started with Top Gun again.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written? I love all my babies for different reasons but IWTBY & That Little Farm are currently my true loves
Tagging anyone who wants to do this, also @paulmezcal as a welcome to tumblr (no pressure you def don't have to do it haha)
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Angus loyal follower here I love your posts I actually started reading hilson fic because of you even though I’ve never seen the show and I never will because once I heard Hugh lauries voice in a fancam and it was so unsexy also they filmed a lot of b roll at my school anyway Seeing your destiel post was so surprising to me please tell me more about your spn opinions I’m so curious I love discourse <3
very long answer so i’ve hidden it under a readmore for the sanity of casual dash scrollers and people who dont care
first off his american voice or his british voice? this is kind of controversial and may seem wild considering i spend a solid chunk of time thinking about what house would be like during sex but i ACTUALLY find him deeply unattractive. i’d love to have his face and wear his skin but never in my life would i consider him a sexual being. he’s too british for it. the only way british people can be sexy is if they are women this is my most political belief on foreign policy. however i do think hugh laurie’s AMERICAN voice is actually very normal and makes him very endearing to me. hilson fic is awesome but honestly!!! most hilson fic for me just does not hit the same unless u can visualize the creepiness with which house looks at wilson. it’s genuinely sickening. he talks about wilson in the softest voice. so many of the most iconic lines in the show just dont HIT the same if u dont listen to the way they’re delivered.
that is SO cool that they shot b roll at ur school though!!! honestly seems like a dream. if i knew i had walked the same halls the house film team had i think i would die. the camerawork on that show is just fucking PHENOMENAL. i could write entire essays fangirling over how they shoot certain scenes but i fear that would be chronically desperately boring
oh man my supernatural opinions… first off disclaimer i have not seen supernatural recently because i am a deeply paranoid individual and prone to delusions and when i first watched the show i genuinely convinced myself that the monsters were real so. i think my most controversial spn opinion would have to be that it’s a PSYCHOLOGICAL THREAT. have you ever met a normal supernatural fan? NOBODY HAS. BECAUSE THE SHOW DRIVES PEOPLE NUTS
other than that my opinions are pretty normal i thiunk. i actually dont have anything at all against destiel even though i am solidly on the wincestie side of fandom. i dont care for the ship and i think it sucks but OBJECTIVELY its a good ship and has strong canon support. i think my hatred comes because i have read SO many destiel fics and have yet to come across a genuinely good one that accurately portrays the characters. i dont understand why an objectively reasonable ship with strong canon support has created some of the middest fic ive ever read in my life. genuinely fascinating. it’s not even that the fic itself is not good or entertaining it just doesn’t feel anything like the actual canon dean and castiel! i have read like two genuinely entertaining destiel fics that felt realistic and BOTH were from authors who primarily write samdean so!!
other controversial spn opinions i have. the “chuck is god” stuff is by far the most entertaining late seasons retcon. objectively ridiculous but so goddamn amusing. i think season 8 and the leviathans was the peak of supernatural. by far the best season in my opinion. plotwise it was not the most believable but i strongly believe that what makes a story good is not it’s logical soundness nor it’s objective value but whether it is ENTERTAINING and COMPELLING and by god the leviathans were both of those things. what a season. also benny and dean were having sex. i loved castiel going insane. OH and i think endverse spn is overhyped both as an episode and in fanon! i did not understand what endverse referred to for so long because i couldnt comprehend that SO MANY PEOPLE could possibly by THAT fanatic over a very mid episode.
not a controversial opinion but rowena is hot. she should've been in every episode for this reason alone. last semester i set up an office meeting with my professor who looked JUST like her to shoot my shot and she literally died before the meeting could happen. i've always felt in my heart that these are related.
#ty for the ask dearest!! much to chew on and think about#house md#supernatural#ask#cw incest mention
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@hunter-sylvester tagged me in this, my very first tag game, so thanks hunter!! you are a pioneer of Metal Lords fan content, pls keep doing what you're doing!
3 Ships:
steddie, but listen, i don't Like season 4 of stranger things. i think the plot/writing was bad actually, but. i stuck around for steve, because damn they're good at writing characters and i loved his seasons 1-3 arc. steve & eddie have incredible chemistry that everyone else has already talked about but listen bro. what if they were t4t.
frerard, but listennn its for the DYNAMICS. i feel like frerard fics have like, mythologized this pairing into something distinct from those real people that are alive and exist. they've lifted the personas and adpoted them onto some really incredible works of fiction... there are archetypes and characteristics and relationship dynamics that i see over and over and over again, always distinctly non-normative and queer, and god dammit it gets me ever time.
i'm struggling to come up with a third... i think The Batman (2021) Selina and Bruce. actually yes this one definitely. god i fucking love those two. my heart like actually ached when she left at the end.
First Ship Ever:
This is going back a long time but I wanna say it was Stucky or Destiel that really had me first. which honestly i was right about that, those white guys have chemistry! i used to eat up post-winter soldier fics all the time and i always end up coming back to them. something about bucky on the run or holed up and scared as his memories struggle to come back, and then steve being the first person to be gentle with him. anyway
Last Song:
my god let me tell you. i listened to ethel cain for the first time today (Golden Age) and i immediately started like crying in the car and then i wrote more poetry than i have in maybe months? that was hours ago and i'm still neck deep in her discography =D
Last Movie:
Avatar: the way of water!!! Avatar is basically a new special interest for me and I'm learning sooo much about it. also this movie is Worth going to the fancy theater for.
Currently Reading:
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. i think this is the first time I'm rereading the hunger games, and I'm so glad i picked it up over christmastime bc 1) i got sucked into it and finished it in like a day and a half; and 2) what an incredible fictional depiction of revolution. like katniss' character arc, the emphasis on solidarity and community over and over and over again, every detail adds so much.
Vine Deloria Jr.'s The World We Used to Live In, which is packed with American Indian stories on spirituality and medicine men. i only just started it but i'm clinging onto his words like they're air. which, in the busted concrete version of the world now, they might as well be.
Currently Watching:
Dimension 20's Neverafter, which is premiering weekly rn (too slow! agonizing!!) and is just beginning, but already getting really fucking good. I keep my copy of Grimms' fairy tales in the bathroom now lol and the stories are crazy. The boy who could not fear had me at the edge of my toilet fr!!
Currently Consuming:
i mean where's the post that's like "autism costs families $60,000 a year" "all that weed im smoking"
Currently Craving:
my boyfriend come back :( when you're here you always put my head back on my shoulders the right way but it gets all messed up every time you leave
i dont think i have anyone to tag but mayve i'll edit & update with a tag later!
#uh#idk wtf tag this as#thoughts#thiswas really fun actually and made me feel better off of a bad day :)
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Hi again. It's the anon who asked for fic recs. :) To answer your question first, I would love it as long as it's Castiel-centric (don't really mind whether there's shipping or not as long as the story is good and Cas is being his awesome self) though currently I'm craving happy fics only because the Nov 5 stuff make me sad with how the story ended for Cas (definitely adding your fic in my To-Read list for better days though). I wanna read him getting the happiness and love he deserves.
One of the things that drew me to his character (the very first fics that I've read that accidentally got me into the fandom were finale fix-its) was reading about this millenia old being not knowing the form his happiness could possibly take and then capitalizing on his deal with an incomprehensible primordial entity that's less of a deal and more of a curse to save the man he loves. My personal interpretation for that had always been that the happiness comes from being able to speak his truth and at the same time knowing that he'd get to ensure that his loved one lives on. Because if happiness is just solely in the being, the deal would have been triggered even before that (since nothing has essentially changed with his being) and it can't be just in the saying (because he'd have to consider how his words are received). Not to mention that it should have been impossible for him to find happiness in that moment because the knowledge of the deal hangs over his head and yet he was able to do so and for a purpose. That's kinda amazing so I kept reading more (just those fixits at first and then I just diverged) Most of them were Destiel and I did enjoy the ones that gave Cas a happy ending. The more I read though, the more I noticed that for a lot of Destiel fics, despite being written with obvious fondness with Castiel's character, his feelings and relationships to other characters become secondary to whatever comfort he can provide to address Dean and his issues. For example, I don't understand it when Jack would bring Cas back because of Dean. Isn't he Cas' son and wouldn't it make more sense if he was more protective over him and would attempt to do so regardless? (which is how I'm choosing to interpret why Cas was in heaven in the finale but he never showed up again? Haha don't actually know how to separate what really happened or not since I really haven't watched a single episode and could only assume canon events from the commonalities in canon divergent fics)
I'm sorry that this got long but existing in the fringes of the fandom without technically being in it means I don't have many people to talk about this with. :)
Oh OK so now I have two I think you may like. They are both actually a bit destiel but just in the background.
The love story of the Runner up (its about Cas having a relationship with a normal well adjusted kind man)
Pretend you are going to miss me (it's post-cannon and all the angels are resurrected and it's from Balthazar's perspective but still all about Castiel and it's also very angel centric which is refreshing)
In addition I enjoyed most of Northern Sparrow's fics (back in the days when I can still enjoy destiel. She does give Cas proper credit for how amazing he is and there is a lot of tear jerking moments but they all have happy endings. The two I liked best were Forgotten and The most important thing. I can't read them anymore because there is too much Dean in them but if it doesn't bother you then they are very good stories.
Thanks for reaching out and if you end up liking these I'd love to hear about it, but quite OK if not, like I said fics are so personal.
And no Jack didn't bring Cas back because of Dean, if that's in some fic then I'm glad I didn't read it. Cas is in heaven but never showed up again because the writer didn't care about Cas and once he was sacrificed he was only given an afterthought of a line from Bobby that he was in heaven. Dean never even asked Jack to bring Cas back.
If you don't want to watch the show I don't blame you. You can look up the plotlines in superwiki if the fics get confusing.
And thank you for defending Castiel's own awesomeness despite never having even seen the show.
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I thought, let's see if there are any wolfstar fics, I haven't checked into that fandom in years, and dear gods I never expected this.
I thought I was going to find a relic of a fandom, like with most of my favourite ships from when I was a teen. I thought I'd have to delve into fanfiction.net, which I still haven't really worked out, as someone who primarily reads destiel fanfic on AO3. Can someone tell me how to filter them so they're all complete and no WIPs, btw? I can google how to do it but I've never bothered tbh.
Instead what I found was an ACTIVE wolfstar community!! Recent fics! Epics, too, like in the destiel fandom (think, redemption road), and I just finished All The Young Dudes after 3 days of non stop reading and I can't even. It's brilliant.
For a fandom to have a fic of that quality and size is a feat on its own. I thought I'd be reading oneshots. I understand that might be a bleak view, but I got obsessed with destiel pretty early, and going back to old ships has always been a disappointment. Going from thousands and thousands of fics to maybe 300, if you're really lucky.
I liked to call myself a prolific fanfic reader, before branching out and realising I was only ever good at finding the specific fanfic I wanted in the destiel fandom, and obviously, as I had known before becoming so distant from everything but supernatural fanfic, that every fandom has its own conventions and tags and ways of doing things. I've grown attached to the supernatural fandom's way of doing things (as well as AO3's platform), I must admit. It has been difficult to branch out.
Of course, I haven't needed to search actual fanfic sites yet with wolfstar, with all the rec lists. You have no idea how happy I am that there are rec lists. Ever tried finding good fanfic without any rec lists at all? No authors to start with, wattpad is the first couple results on google. It's a nightmare, honestly.
I am really, fucking happy to have found this fandom again. I kinda feared going back, I didn't want to find the ship abandoned like so many others. Wolfstar was my first true ship, and also the one and only fanfic (a oneshot) I ever finished. Never published it. If I can find it again, I'm thinking maybe I should. After a rewrite, of course, I was hella young back then, I'm scared to even look at how I wrote lol
Yeah idk this was a rant, I guess. I don't have anyone in my life who'd be excited to hear about me rediscovering a fandom, so I thought I'd just post it here.
Also want to add I don't agree with J.K.'s politics and I don't know if I'll ever be able to separate the author from the work. At least with fanfic, I don't have to do that, because it's not written by her, and she's not profiting from its existence, right?
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KARKAT: HOLD ON A FUCKING SECOND. DELAWARE IS A STATE?? I THOUGHT IT WAS A RIVER? OR IS THE RIVER MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE STATE? WHY DON'T I KNOW THIS? (I SHOULD MENTION I DON'T LIVE IN AMERICA, I'M JUST CONFUSED)
DIRK: There is Delaware (state) and delaware (river)
DIRK: Both are equally strange. The state is a tiny little cryptid thing, the river is a monster that spans New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware.
DIRK: Also Washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal I guess. Like crossing the rubicon in rome.
DIRK: The state tries to be more important with its “I'm the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. It’s the river.
ROXY: i thought.. i thought delaware was a plqastic container thingy… its a state??
DIRK: THAT’S TUPPERWARE.
TAVROS: i THOUGHT DELAWARE WAS A PLACE IN OHIO,, wHY ARE THERE SO MANY THINGS NAMED DELAWARE,,,
DIRK, looking up how many places are called Delaware, there’s like 13: Delaware is too powerful.
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK.
JOHN: wait what? i thought delaware was a store with building supplies. like paint, wood, nails and stuff?
DIRK: THAT’S HOME DEPOT???
JOHN: i know home depot, but dude i don't know anything about america and have never really gone anywhere. are you sure there is not a some sort of store called something close to delaware!?!
DIRK:
DIRK: …Ace Hardware……?
DAVE: this post has only been around for a few hours but could very well be a world heritage post
ROXY: WHAT????? this website is free
DIRK: But at what cost.
ROSE: This post launched at 8am PST on 12 Feb 2021. The above conversation has happened in 3 hours.
DAVE: guys the president is literally from delaware youre gonna have to learn what the fuck it even is
KARKAT: HE *WHAT*? I THOUGHT HE WAS FROM. W. WAIT. ???
DIRK: Delaware stole the presidents shoelaces for clout and became too powerful.
JAKE: From the uk- and what do you mean delaware isn't a type of ceramic?
DIRK, throwing his hands up in defeat: It is now.
TEREZI: 1SNT D3L4W4R3 WH4T TH3Y M4K3 COMPUT3RS ON??? >:?
DIRK: Software ??
SOLLUX: ii thiink they meant dell ware, a 2peciifiic computer type. we had a dell computer once.
SOLLUX: ii thought delaware wa2 that famou2 2iinger they 2poofed iin zootopiia.
DIRK: Gazelle??
KANAYA: Oh I Thought Delaware Was That One British Singer Lady, You Know, The One From Chasing Pavements
DIRK, visibly distressed: That’s fucking Adele.
VRISKA: Isn’t Delaware that place you go when you die????????
ARADIA: y0ure thinking 0f superhell and all 0f y0u are g0ing there
ROSE: How the fuck did any of you come to the conclusions you all made.
DAVE: we live in america
GAMZEE: I tHoUgHt DeLaWaRe WaS tHaT fOoD dElIvErY sErViCe ThAt KeEpS iNtErRuPtInG yOuTuBe ViDeOs WiTh ThEiR aDs WhEn I'm TrYiNg To HaVe A gOoD tImE :o(
EQUIUS: D--> ..... Are you talking about doordash???
ERIDAN: isnt delawwere the name of that one girl in the song that goes "hey there delawwere" shes from neww york city or somethin
DIRK, about to start pulling his hair out: THAT’S HEY THERE DELILAH.
ROSE: Pausing here to point out that op is “dear-AO3″ and now I’m wondering if Delaware fanfiction would be categorized as RSF (real state fic) or AU (alternate unitedstates)
DIRK: Stop. I do not want to think about this.
NEPETA: :33 < isnt delaware that spn ship that exploded the internet?
DIRK: DESTIEL??????
SOLLUX: ii love that the “no, that’2 [x]” meme ii2 makiing a comeback here and only here and nobody ha2 any iidea what’2 goiing on.
ERIDAN: keep up the good wwork wwe can make poor op havve a melt dowwn yet
DIRK: *puts his head in his hands*
FEFERI: Isn't delaware t)(at one brand of pizza t)(at's like "it's not delivery, it's delaware."
DAVE: is delaware becoming the new benedict cumberbatch
EQUIUS: D--> isn't delaware the god of the sea
DIRK:
JADE: isn't delaware the name of that guy who painted the mona lisa???
DIRK:
TAVROS, going along with the bit: hM,, dELAWARE IS THAT ONE EVIL CYBORG GUY THAT HAS A SON NAMED LUKE AND A RED LASER SWORD,
SOLLUX, also going along with the bit: that2 darth vader. iim pretty 2ure delaware ii2 that other red-la2er 2word guy. you know. the one that 2tabbed quii-gon.
DIRK: What have I created.
HAL: I usually only reblog older posts, but this definitely deserves to be in every tumblr hall of fame.
DIRK: This post has only existed for 8 days.
DAVE: this is fantastic because it goes great with my theory that delaware only exists for tax purposes like all the states really only exists for tax purposes but felaware is particularly fake because back in 2012 i got lost in the alleged delaware area looking trying to get to a family reunion but every time i pulled over for directions i would ask what the hell state i was in now and i went through mayland pennsylvania new jersey AND virginia and i never fucking found delaware so im convinced that not only is the state a purely legal construct they didnt even dedicate any landmass to it or its a government blackzone where the carnivorous horses live
DIRK, quietly: What? That never happened. Dave, what the fuck are you talking about-
KARKAT: WORLD HERITAGE POST.
ROXY: this post literally fills me with life tysm
JANE: this post confused the heck out of me, i don't even know whats going on in this post, why the hell am i rebloging it?
#submission#everyone is here#really long post#source: tumblr#//#homestuck#incorrect homestuck quotes#i am not tagging everyone fuck that#long post#mod jade
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IT IS NEARLY 3000 WORDS LONG BUT I DID IT
y'all this is the first fic i've ever written for any fandom, any ship, anything really. I write a lot in my free time and have a long history with writing so that was not new, but conveying the emotion needed to capture a pre-existing relationship, someone else's characters, that was uncharted territory.
Its pretty long- 7 pages about, so settle in.
I worked fairly hard on it and I hope you enjoy- it'll be up on Ao3 shortly and ill post a link when it is :) im gonna shut the fuck up now and let you read
(under the cut)
Good Things Do Happen- a destiel fix-it one shot
That tie. It no longer laid backwards down the angel’s chest; a habit as old as his wings. He twisted the cobalt fabric between his pale, cracked fingers before reaching for the knot.
Castiel stood in the bunker, allowing his weight to rest on a nearby chair. This didn’t soothe the ache he felt rising from his core, as it was an ache he’d become accustomed to. The angel removed his trench coat, stained and dirtied, and laid it gingerly on the table.
Dean lounged stiffly in a nearby chair, holding a rag to a gash on his bicep. He’d collected a fair number of wounds as he scraped himself and Cas from the empty. They had barely escaped, but Dean had done what he set out to kill himself over. He had brought his angel home. His angel. He liked that and found himself filling moments of silence by bouncing it around his skull.
Neither of them had brought up Castiel’s parting words. There wasn’t time during the rescue, and neither had uttered a word since setting foot in the bunker. Dean immediately separated himself from Cas, but the space he put between them now could not erase the way he held his angel as they raced to the rift. No amount of silence could deafen the voice-breaking cries he’d emitted for Cas.
Those cries would never leave Castiel’s head. He would never be able to erase the knowledge that Dean, his Dean, had destroyed his vocal cords screaming for him. When Dean had found him in the empty, the hunter had looked like he was on the verge of collapse. Bloodied, weeping, jaw clenched so tight it might flake apart. Castiel was on the ground, his eyes wide with disbelief as they followed the worn out boots up to the man before him.
“C’mon man we’ve gotta get the hell out of here” escaped from cracked lips. Dean’s lips. Cas could do nothing but take the outstretched hand above him and allow the hunter to take his weight. Cas could not utter a word if he tried, his mind only focused on Dean’s hand placed on his hip. Dean had the angel’s arm slung over his shoulders; Cas’s hand laid close to where his mark once claimed the man. The righteous man. The man he’d raised from perdition all those years ago.
Now Dean was repaying the favor, clinging to Cas like he’d leave again, like they’d never get to finish their story. Dean would never admit it, but with each labored step he took, his mind screamed “I. Love. You. Too.” All that would cross his lips was a small smirk upon the excuse to grip his angel, a moment where they could be close in a way that escaped the bounds of any relationship.
The men, both soldiers of their own accord, had become accustomed to treating their own wounds. Castiel was too weak to heal Dean, much to both of their unspoken disappointment. No excuse to drag a hand across another, no reason to lean into a touch for even just a moment.
Dean flipped his rag over, replacing the bloodied side with one not much cleaner than before. His eyes traced the angel, hugging every curve, every shadow on his face. It was a look of admiration, but the hunter would rationalize this with the excuse of Castiel being back from the dead, again. But that wasn’t new. He’d looked at Cas like that many a time. This time was different, however. Dean was looking at the angel like Castiel had looked at him for as long as he could remember. A look he knew now to be one of love, of longing, of yearning.
It was Dean who broke the silence.
“Hey man, I know you may not be up to talk right now, but it’s good to have you home. Really,” he growled.
He wanted to scream, he wanted to grab the angel and hiss in his face the words he’d sobbed for months. “You left me. You left me without even asking for what you wanted. You could’ve had it, Cas you could’ve had me, of course you could’ve had me.” But he didn’t. He gave Cas the space neither of them wanted.
“Thank you, Dean. It’s good to be home,” Cas returned, a bit too rehearsed for his liking.
The angel had taken off his suit jacket and laid it next to the trench coat. He stood tall, despite still leaning over a chair, and took a breath. He sat there for a moment and stole a glance at the hunter. Dean didn’t notice, instead eyeing the scratches on his calf. Cas’s heart skipped a beat. Nothing had happened, yet even a second in Dean’s presence was enough to jumpstart that ever-familiar ache.
Dean watched his best friend; unaware he had just missed the eyes he loved so much. His breath caught in his throat as Cas reached for his neck, his hands inching closer to the statement piece. That tie. It no longer laid backwards down the angel’s chest; a habit as old as his wings. He twisted the cobalt fabric between his pale, cracked fingers before reaching for the knot.
The hunter’s throat tightened, and he could not bring himself to look away. There was nothing that could make him stop. He tried to remain inconspicuous as he peeked over at Cas, head lowered so he was gawking up at the angel. Dean’s hands were no longer holding the rag to his arm, and instead were frozen by his sides.
“What am I doing,” his mind raced, “what the hell am I doing?” He repeated this over and over, as if the words would answer him if he asked enough. He’d dreamed of having his angel back. He’d sobbed and he’d screamed on the floor of the bunker.
Sam had tried to get him up, to eat and to drink something other than whiskey. “Dean please, you have to stop. You have to start caring again.” This set Dean off. For hours, Cas’s words numbed his senses.
“Because you care, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean”
Those words felt like a hot knife in the moment. Warm, like he was finally being seen, yet sharp, like they were already being separated. Those words played in Dean’s head for days, for weeks even. He heard them as he watched tv, he heard them as he cooked breakfast, he heard them as he drowned himself in whiskey.
He heard them most while he slept, only in his dreams he could return them. He told Cas everything he’d promised himself he wouldn’t. He choked on the words that spewed out of his mouth. He recounted every instance in which he’d loved the angel, every moment he’d looked at him and every feeling he had felt. Every time he had felt the urge to reach out and grab the angel’s hand, every second his eyes had glassed over as he imagined pushing Cas up against the wall and finally taking what they both wanted.
Those words cut him deep and stitched him back up again more times than he could count. But they would never get close to what he had felt when Cas said it. The burning, the ripping at his soul, the very soul the angel had reconstructed years ago. The words clawed at the back of his throat as salty tears scorched trails down his face and his head felt like coals in his hands. Those words shattered him.
But they weren’t the words. Not the ones that shook Dean to the core then, the ones that had shaken him every moment since then, and even in this moment, even now as he looked at his angel and knew he was home.
“I love you.”
Dean repeated those words in his head countless times. Those words became his life blood. Those words fueled the very actions that brought his angel home. He repeated them now, in his head, loudly enough to believe them yet quietly so the angel wouldn’t hear.
“I love you too, angel.”
In that moment, Cas changed everything. It wasn’t that he heard Dean, but he had felt it. He said nothing, he barely moved. He moved nothing but his eyes, which he dragged up to look at Dean. He caught the hunter staring at him, and this time he kept his gaze. Dean did too. It felt right, returning to old mannerisms. But something had changed.
Dean swallowed, head raising slowly while holding blue eyes. God, Cas’s eyes. Dean could stare at them forever. He longed to get close enough to count the different shades, to watch his angel’s pupils dilate with desire. He could swim in those oceans forever. He stopped, suddenly realizing it had been longer than could be considered platonic.
Castiel had now completely removed his necktie, relishing in the knowledge that his hunter was watching every movement. As he turned to set it down, a hand stopped him. Dean had shot across the room, finding himself at Cas’s side. He hadn’t even realized.
He looked down at the angel’s hand in his. There was no excuse this time, not that either of them would ask for one. Dean’s breath hitched as his eyes trailed upwards, catching on the lips that sat mere inches away. A few inches higher and he found those eyes. The eyes that were only on him.
“Dean,” the angel started, “what are you-“
He was cut off. “I don’t know. I don’t know Cas. But I don’t care anymore either.”
This time it was Cas’s breath that caught. Was it happening? Was he still in the empty? No. This was Dean. This was the man he rebelled for, the man he’d given everything for. The man he had invented free will for.
Cas didn’t fight it after that. Dean’s hand snaked up the angel’s forearm, slowly and shakily, like he was afraid his touch might burn. The angel’s eyes followed his hand too closely to notice Dean was inching closer than they’d ever dared be before. Dean’s hand had come to rest on Cas’s shoulder, slightly pulling the angel into his chest. Castiel felt this and submitted.
“Cas,” Dean finally spoke, “I have spent months losing my mind over what to say to you. I know I need to, but I kept tripping over what I wanted to say, how I wanted to say it.” His eyes started to shine with tears, and Castiel could feel his hand shake on his shoulder. “Cas, budd- Castiel.”
He’s not my buddy anymore, Dean thought.
“Cas I’ve never known what a home is. I’ve had Sammy and I’ve had Baby, but I’ve never had a home. You pulled me from hell, and you became family.” His voice shook as he spoke. “You became part of the only home I’ve had Cas. You saw me and rebelled for me. You fell for me- literally.” Cas reached out to wipe a tear from the hunter’s cheek. “Cas from the moment you saw me you decided I was worth saving. You tortured yourself for years believing you couldn’t have me.” Dean was close to sobbing as he finally said what he’d been waiting to say.
“You left me. You left me without even asking for what you wanted. You could’ve had it, Cas you could’ve had me, of course you could’ve had me.” He leaned his head onto the angel’s forehead as he spoke his truth. “You have had me. You’ve always had me. I saw you and everything I’d known- all the bullshit my dad drilled into me- it didn’t matter. I wanted you around me, I wanted you to stay but I couldn’t bear to tell you. I thought you wanted to go, that I was just another mission from Heaven.”
The angel had a hand around the back of Dean’s neck now as he tried to comfort the broken man he held, wincing at the notion that his human was nothing but a job.
“You were a part of me, Cas. You still are and I will always want you to be. Cas you’re family. But you’re not just family, you’re my angel. My angel.” His hands balled into fists against Castiel’s shirt, his breath rattled as he inhaled, preparing to cross that line.
“I love you, Cas. Of course I love you.” He finally let the walls fall. Tears spilled out of his eyes; his chest shook as he struggled to breathe. He was now completely in his angel’s arms, wrapped around his neck as Cas held him close.
Neither of them spoke for a moment. Cas couldn’t breathe even if he had needed to. His hands traced his hunter’s back, taking in the sentiments Dean had spilled to him moments before. Dean’s sobs calmed after a few minutes, and he pulled back to look at his angel.
Cas’s face was stained with tears, and it was then Dean realized the shoulder of his shirt had been soaked through. Castiel took a shaky breath as he pulled Dean close again.
“Dean. If you’ll have me, I am yours.” The angel choked out as he stared deep into Dean’s eyes. The eyes he had looked into over a decade ago, the eyes he had seen and knew belonged to a different kind of man. The eyes he knew would get him in trouble.
“All I’ve wanted is to have you, feathers. All I’ve prayed for is to call you mine and for you to call this bunker home.” The hunter looked deep into the pools of blue before him, close enough to kiss the tips of the eyelashes that sprung from them.
“This bunker is not my home, Dean. My home is your soul and the eyes I look at it through.” The angel returned.
This sent Dean over the edge. Never had someone just wanted him. Not his body, his blood, or his life. An angel of The Lord, a being created only to follow God’s plan, taught to be a soldier and to have no emotions. An angel of The Lord who was taught to show no mercy, a celestial embodiment of blind faith had burned all of that. Castiel had felt things for Dean. Castiel had rebelled for Dean. Castiel had given his life for Dean. Castiel, Angel of Thursday, wanted him. A mere human to most, but the world to someone else. Someone who had seen the world created but thought nothing of it until a man named Winchester walked across its surface.
They pulled each other into a desperate hug, both men held each other in a grasp so tight neither could escape. Neither wanted to, but of course they’d never been able to do this without fear. Dean’s arms curled around Cas’s lower back as his head rested in the crook of the angel’s neck. Castiel had his arms wrapped around Dean as he tilted his head towards the man on his shoulder.
“Dean-“ Castiel started, but that was all he could get out before he felt those eyes on him again.
Dean slowly raised his head, almost agonizingly so in Cas’s opinion, so he was face to face with his angel. He moved his hands up to his neck and their breaths became ragged yet followed each other. No words needed to be exchanged and none could’ve cheapened the moment, for they both were content.
It was a race to see who moved in faster, but in the blink of an eye- lips met in a kiss so passionate, so hungry, a kiss that had waited too long. Hands pulled the other closer, clamoring to become one, as if souls were melding at the mouth. Castiel raked one hand up through Dean’s hair as the other pulled the hunter closer at the waist. Dean obliged to the pull he felt and moved closer, both of his hands cradling the face of his angel.
The kiss turned into many, an ordeal that went on for minutes on end. The soldiers’ lips met softer now, turning from desperation to appreciation. Both men had traded desire for love, and their kisses followed suit. Each time their lips met, sparks flew behind eyelids, much like in the barn all those years ago.
In this moment, Dean knew he had a home. That he had always had a home, if he had only allowed himself to acknowledge it. In the same second, Cas realized this was what he’d given up everything for. He’d convinced himself he was a tyrant, someone who could never have what he wanted, what he deserved.
In this moment, they traded themselves for each other. They became one. The Righteous Man and an Angel of The Lord. Prophecies broken, lives lost, sacrifices made, all so two broken creatures could hold each other and know what peace was.
After all, good things do happen.
so lmk what y'all think- I hope you enjoyed and I will post the Ao3 link as soon as I can get it posted :)
#go easy on me#first fanfiction#supernatural#dean winchester#castiel#destiel#spn#spn fic#spn fanfic#spn fanfiction#dean x castiel#dean and cas#bisexual dean winchester#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural fic#destiel fanfic#destiel fic#deancas#destiel fix it#spn season 16#spnblr#spnfandom#sam winchester
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Welcome to the Destiel Fic Archive Project
Destiel, as a ship, is thirteen years old, and those years have seen vast changes in the nature of fandom and the way people share their works. They've also seen a constant stream of people entering and leaving the fandom, bringing their creativity with them, contributing their knowledge and skill to one of the richest ship fandoms on the entire internet. There are currently 94,000 works tagged Destiel on Archive of Our Own, and the ship was years old before AO3 was founded, so it's safe to say that in the past thirteen years more than 100,000 works have been created featuring our beloved Dean and Castiel. And while we still have many, many fics, countless works from the past have been deleted, or effectively "lost" by other means. This is tragic (well, aside from the ones that have been made into original fic and published, that's awesome) and work attrition continues to this day, with the most recent, public, high-profile deletion being apokteino’s decision to eliminate their account on New Year’s Eve of 2020.
The Fic Archive Project seeks to find, preserve, and archive as wide a range of Destiel works as possible, with an emphasis on:
Older, harder-to-find stories that have never been posted on AO3, and
Works that have been deleted from AO3, LJ, FF.net, or any other platform.
I (hi, I’m @unforth and this is my pet project) founded this project in 2018 as a spin off from the Destiel Favs Survey I administer yearly. I downloaded all works that received a vote, and tracked down any that had been deleted. That collection forms the core of the Archive, but over the years it has grown well beyond that. I now have a repository of nearly 15,000 Destiel works, and it grows all the time. Up to now, I’ve kept this project largely private; the only place it’s been available to the fandom is on the Profound Bond Discord server. However, in light of apokteino’s deletion, I’ve realized most people don’t know this is something I do, and don’t know that if they’re looking for a deleted fic, they can contact me. As such, I decided it was time to make a side-blog dedicated to the Archive, to help publicize it, grow it, and disseminate its contents.
I've created a spreadsheet to help navigate this collection, which you can access here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1SWRvyj4DIAGGfo04_ba8LaDsJmlIfSxb2fn9TtqnlYM/edit?usp=sharing
Please be aware this is a living document so while I've done my best to keep it neat and organized and suitable for public viewing, I can't promise everything will always be in ship-shape when you view it. The first sheet of the linked workbook, "About This Workbook," contains extensive information about how the Archive is organized, decisions I've made on what and how to collect works, my personal to-do list, and numerous ways that anyone accessing the collection can help. If you’re interested in helping, or if you have copies of any of the works on my “lost fic” spreadsheet, please get in touch with me!
Feel free to drop this Tumblr an ask if you’re looking for something, or DM me for things that are available.
If you want a file, you must be willing to contact me off anon, as I will not be putting any files up for general distribution. The entire collection is backed up on g-drive but I do intend to open access to it - currently myself and cryptomoon (who has been beyond helpful throughout this and offered me server space) are the only two people who can access the actual archive. I send files by Discord message and/or e-mail.
Please note
if you are the author or know the author of a work that I’m currently distributing, and you know they’d rather things NOT be distributed, or have any other information that would help me better moderate this collection, please let me know.
if a work is marked as “Not for Distribution” I will not distribute it under any circumstances so do not ask.
Thanks for reading, welcome to the archive project, and I look forward to helping people find the fics they’re looking for!
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2, 6, 9 and 14 for the Sapphicnatural ask! <3
thank you ally!!! 💖
2. favourite rarepair?
oh god... ok i think i have to say Amara/Mary 🥺 it's just. like it was actually a surprise to me to come to see them as such a compelling ship? i started writing my Mary fic and i knew i wanted to explore this thing with Amara bringing her back and both of their pov, and it ended up.... just making so much sense to have them together. i let the story took me and it took me there!
some destiel parallels appeared, and this complex dynamic of i hate you/i owe you/i want to hate you/i love you... like from both sides it's sooo interesting. also love that Mary was, in a way and for so long, the og mother, and Amara is the og woman. and they're both actually not that and way more than that.... VS Rowena who is introduced as neither a mother (she has a son but she's not a Mother you know), nor a woman like others. these three live in my head. someday i will write smth specific for them
6. tell me the BEST spn femslash fanfic you've ever read
is this when i out myself as "i don't read many fics besides destiel i'm so sorry sapphics"...? 😭😭 i have a few one-shots marked for later but i still haven't got into it.
i MEANT to read one last night to have an answer to this question but i'm brain dead. specifically there's a Jody/Mary one who seems super interesting, been wanting to get into it for weeks, it's called neatly-labelled leftovers.
so i'm taking this opportunity to promote your Ambriel/Anna fics 💕 they're very cute, we stan rarepairs, and Ambriel truly deserves to come back & get a gf thank you for your service 🙏
9. post or link me your favourite spn femslash creation made by you
ok so i'm starting to run out of sapphic content i made 😂 thanks god for sapphicnatural week!! i have cool things planned 🤭
i still have a few left, so for you i've picked this little amv i made, the concept was to have like, a "phone video dump" from Claire's phone, and it's only some very domestic-daily life shots of Kaia
i did one from Kaia's phone as well, but this one is way more underrated. i liked to think of Claire picking the habit of filming from Kaia, except Claire would like... do it with less skills, more randomly, and so would end up with these awkward framings. like it would start as a way to make fun of Kaia's habit (affectionate) but she would enjoy it. so the editing is Like That on purpose. i had sooo much fun working on these two videos, trying to show some personality behind the shots ; to make it less "professional" ; working on a new size ; and it was one of my first attempts at coloring that much. picked the colors directly from the lesbian flag ✨
youtube
14. favourite female character you wish we'd seen more of?
you know what it's time to talk about her: AMARA. she's one of my ultimate fav character on the show, even tho canonically she's like, 75% lost potential and she's good mostly in my head i think 😭 but EXACTLY i wish she was there more, so we could get to know her better and know her outside of chuck's arcs!! she deserved to be her own character, and god truly s15 Amara was a gift but at what cost (the cost was not knowing wtf even happened to her exactly).
if i get into specific, i even wish we've seen more of teenager Amara!!!! it was sooo interesting to see her growth, the way her behavior is truly like a child, and she's discovering the world... it's such a cool idea to have this character who's older than everything but who is a bby in this world, learning how it works, its rules, its beauty.... the way at first she only sees suffering, but then learn to love it. but they ruined it by sexualizing her they literally put a (ugly) black dress on her character and let that hide everything she was offering & telling. and that's how a lot of viewers see her as well!!!! i hate it. bc yeh, she's way more developped in my head, but already in canon there is A LOT but people never read into her bc they think she's here to be a love interest and try to make Dean evil but NO!!! that's literally the narrative chuck's portraying!! anyway this wasn't supposed to be a rant over the misundertanding of Amara....
sapphicnatural ask
#thank you again for the questions!!#and sorry i took forever to reply truly typical me to ask for asks and then get busy with other stuff#sapphicnatural#spn#ask game
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Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!
It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)
With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.
I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)
Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!
The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.
I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.
Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out.
This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.
These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.
I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.
Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.
This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.
We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.
What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)
You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.
Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.
A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...
Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.
Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).
#destiel recs#my fic recs#deancas recs#fandom that ate my life hello#destiel fic recs#my destiel recs
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I was tagged by @floralprintshark! Thank you, Mi!! I appreciate any excuse to talk about my own fanfiction
what's your all-time favourite ship?
okay so since all the questions are about my own writing I’m going to narrow this down to the most fun ship to write about, for my own sanity. the answer to that would be rhys/zer0 of borderlands fame just by sheer amount of fics written. what can I say, against my best interests I do love a genderless nonhuman character and rhys is an idiot, so both are fun to write
how many works do you have on ao3?
29!
what's your total ao3 word count?
118 985
what are your top five fics by kudos?
I feel like this is unfairly weighted towards my shitty marvel fic bc the fandom is so huge lol but here we are:
1. we need to fetch back the time they have stolen from us (MCU/Infinity War, Thor & Loki) 448 Kudos
2. Table for Two, Dinner for One (Venom, Eddie/Venom) 397 Kudos
3. ain't nothing in this world for free (Borderlands, Rhys/Zer0) 379 Kudos
4. In One Ear (Borderlands, Rhys/Zer0) 369 Kudos
5. A Passing Mood (MCU/Loki Series, Loki & Sylvie) 231 Kudos
I feel the need to remind people that the “&” is for friendship so people don’t get any ideas. None of that, here, folks.
do you reply to comments, why or why not?
Yes, I always reply to comments! Mostly because I love a chance to talk about my own work, but I feel like people are more likely to comment on older fics if they can see that the author is still actively responding to comments.
fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
okay I LOVE writing angsty endings it must be said. Ignoring the shitty edgy sherlock fic I wrote when I was a tween that I don’t want to be reminded of, my angstiest endings are probably my two danganronpa fics, Treading Water and Promise Me a Place, where I un-kill my favourite character two different times just so he can live to be sadder about his other half. I have no excuses for my behaviour ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
fic you've written with the happiest ending?
I wrote a destiel fixit after the finale aired, you will still be here tomorrow (but your dreams may not), and it ends with castiel resurrection and bunker family reunion so that probably qualifies as my most cheesy happy ending. It’s what we all deserved after that shit show
do you write crossovers?
I haven’t yet and while I’m not strictly opposed, it’s not something I’m usually interested in! I try to keep things pretty canon compliant with my only AU fics hinging on one decision made differently, so big crossovers usually aren’t in the cards
have you ever received hate on a fic?
not really, thank god. If people hate me they have the good sense to do it behind my back
do you write smut? if so what kind?
no, I do not. Half the reason is that I’m too ace with no concept of what’s sexy and the other half is that some of my tumblr mutuals are people I know IRL and it’s bad enough already to have my ao3 linked, I’m not posting porn haha
have you ever had a fic stolen?
I’ve never had a fic lifted wholesale and posted to another site (afaik) but I have a grudge against someone who basically posted the same fic as me a few days after I did (it was a quick oneshot) and like... it’s technically different but it has the same premise, general structure, and a few bits of dialogue and it STILL pisses me off but not enough to do anything about it bc it could be a coincidence : /
have you ever had a fic translated?
yes! I had a couple of my old sherlock fics translated to chinese! My deepest apologies to chinese readers that that is your only exposure to me
have you ever co-written a fic before?
no, I haven’t had the pleasure yet!
what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
back before I realized that, personally, I need to write a fic in its entirety first before posting it bc I get sidetracked easily, I had an ongoing 11th Doctor/River story that ended up abandoned on ff.net (yeah, vintage). I don’t care enough to finish it, but it’s my only WIP that people can see online and it’s my great shame lol
what are your writing strengths?
Oh, dialogue definitely. My fics are so dialogue-heavy I might as well accept my fate and write scripts lol
what are your writing weaknesses?
I am terrible with scene transitions. I have no concept of when a scene has gone on too long and end up in the trap of writing everything in real time if I’m not careful, which can drag a lot
what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I’m not opposed to it, though I haven’t had an occasion to do it myself, I don’t think. My Hot Take™ is that people need to be better about making fic with other languages more accessible bc I HATE scrolling down to the bottom for translation footnotes while I’m reading and losing my place. Obviously exclusion is a valid artistic choice sometimes but if you want people to know what you’re saying PLEASE make use of hyperlinks to jump between translated text, footnotes, and back, or just put the a translation in the body.
what was the first fandom you wrote for?
Torchwood! Doctor Who was my first online fandom and Torchwood was really important to me as a baby gay that I immediately wanted to write fixit fic when [redacted] got buried. I was a teenage emo though so he died again in my fixit lol
what's your favourite fic you've written?
honestly my danganronpa fic Promise Me a Place is some of the best work it’s a shame the fandom has a reputation for being cringe haha I’m really proud of the melancholy tone of this one and I think I managed to be really angsty without feeling pointlessly edgy. It’s the fic of mine I’ve re-read the most, like it doesn’t feel like something I wrote anymore and I sometimes just pull it up to read for fun (or, well, not FUN exactly it’s too depressing for that)
also no one reads my samurai flamenco fic bc the fandom is dead, so I feel the need to plug my fic from this year’s gift exchange, In The Kind of World Where We Belong, bc I’m super proud of that one as well
Tagging: I feel like I have no concept of just how many of my mutuals/followers write fic so if you follow me and want to do this, please do! Rec your own stuff to me, please. I’ll also tag @bisexualamy @obvious-fandom-reference and @frankenjoly bc I know you guys write, but no pressure, of course : )
#tag meme#reilly.txt#my fanfic#long post#this is making me want to finish my trek WIP... maybe I should do that today#it's canandian thanksgiving today so I have the time lol#thank you for tagging me mi !!!#i didn't know you were so popular in the critrole fandom it's like i have famous friends#please accept my questionable fic in return lol
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Just came across another post on here casually hating on ""wincesties"" as they like to call. I have nothing against destiel per say, but hellers are so funny like, y'all just mad because what you consider a "depraved side ship" was only the very first spn ship to become popular, had its first fic written as early as when the pilot was released, and was referenced in canon numerous times
Anyway stan the epic love story of Sam and Dean
#wincest#die mad hellers#i'm not a anti person but maybe i'll be nicer when you stop hating us for no reason#i swear to god#3 months the show had ended and nothing has changed
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Meet the Staff!
Here at the DDN we have a lovely crew of hard working hellers devoted to getting you the facts when you need them. We’ve each written bios introducing ourselves which are located beneath the cut. If you’re interested in joining the team, here is a post about what we need.
A note: if you didn’t get a response to your application it is possible there was a typo in your blog url that kept us from reaching out. if you applied and would like to know the status of your application, go ahead and send a DM to @lateral-org.
Hi! I’m Lina, (she/her) and I write the news! I’m actually quite a new addition to the fandom, as I only got properly involved at the beginning of quarantine, but I am already invested enough to be reading a copious amount of fan fiction and writing an essay on the queer representation in the show. My favourite quote has to be “happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it,” and that is why I will never get over 15x18.
Hey! I’m T (@lateral-org), my pronouns are she/they and I’m the main editor for DDN. I used to be obsessed with SPN in 2015 but stopped watching regularly around season twelve. 15x18 sucked me back in, and now I’m invested not just in the show, but all of the stuff going on behind the scenes. I joined DDN because keeping up with #destielgate has basically just become a hobby of mine, and I wanted to make the details more accessible to anyone else who was interested. I’m a deangirl through and through, and my favorite quote is “I have no idea, but what I do have is a GED and a give ‘em hell attitude. I’ll figure it out.”
Howdy! I’m Jas (@you-changedmedean), she/her, and I’m a researcher/editor for DDN, plus doing a bit of blog maintenance. I’ve been casually around the fandom since high school but in 2018 is when I got emotionally involved. I’m currently in college and I began my Tumblr only this year. I’ve already received so much support from everyone in the fandom and it’s been the craziest ride. Even if S/P/N is over, there’s still so much to uncover from the last season. With future conventions on the way as well as actors speaking up more, DDN will be able to provide relevant and accurate information to the fandom in a timely manner. Favorite character is Castiel and if my username (you-changedmedean) can tell you anything, it’s also my favorite quote.
Hi! I'm Amber, she/her, (@my-people-skillls-are-rusty) and I am a researcher/editor for DDN. I've been in the fandom since around 2015 but got a lot more active in the last couple of years. I don't really know why I joined DDN, I just had a lot of free time and was very invested in the fandom, so might as well have it directed somewhere. My favourite character is either Dean or Castiel, I can't choose between them. I also don't have a favourite quote as there are so many to choose from, but as its my user name I will go with 'my "people skills" are "rusty"'
Hey! I’m Ally, she/her (@larandomfangirl) and I am a researcher/writer/editor for DDN. I started watching Supernatural back when I was in 8th grade in 2017, and have remained caught up and active in the fandom since then. I joined DDN because 15x18, and everything that has happened since then, made me even more invested in the show and I wanted to help spread factual information about whatever occurs next. My favorite character is either Sam or Cas (I blame being a younger sibling for that), and one of my favorite quotes is “happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.”
Hi! I am Saffa (she/her) (@castiel-holmeshasthephonebox), and I am one of the writers on DDN! I was introduced to Supernatural by tumblr only a year ago, and since then I have been completely hooked. First, I fell in love with Dean and then I fell in love with the creative side of the fandom, all the fics and edits, and I just tumbled deeper down the destiel hell-hole. My favourite quote is "I'm hunted, I rebelled, and I did all of it for you."
Hey! I’m El (they/them) (@desperately-human) I am one of the writer/editors here at DDN. I only started paying attention to Supernatural this fall (november 5, really) but since then, having every update on #destielgate has been my main hobby. Almost everything I know I have absorbed through memes, liveblogs, and those amvs on youtube. I’ve never actually seen an episode all the way through. That said, upon reflection i believe I am a Cas girl gender neutral term. Cliche but intense, I like “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”
Hello! My name is Liz (@bart-ska-mpson) and I am a researcher/writer. Got into SPN in 2014-ish because of superwholock tumblr peer pressure, and whattaknow, it became my favorite of all of them, mainly because of the sheer power of Destiel! I read meta like the morning newspaper back then. I became frustrated by the end of s10 and by the time Lucifer possessed the president I just could not take it anymore (if only I kept watching til Lily Sunder :’(...). But really I never totally lost faith in canon Destiel and words cannot describe the feeling I had when I heard through Tumblr that it finally happened. I’ve been so obsessed with trying to figure out what's “really happening” so I figured I might as well help out here. My favorite quote is the whole conversation Dean and Cas have when he finds him in Purgatory. “I prayed to you Cas, every night!” “I know” </33333
Hi! I'm Kat (@team-free-memes), she/her, and I'm a researcher and editor here at the DDN. I was internet-pressured into watching the show after seeing so many posts about it online. I've been in the fandom for over a year. I joined the DDN because I've always been an avid Destiel shipper and season 16 has gripped me tight and raised me from sanity, so I want to help clear things up for other fans lost in the sea of conspiracy theories to ensure that the truth circulates. I can't choose between Cas and Jack for the title of my favorite character, but in any case I am definitely Dean coded. My favorite quote is, "Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It's just people trying to do their best in a world where it's far too easy to do your worst."
Hey! My name is Lana (@curvedsphere), she/they, and I’m a part of the research, editing, and blog teams at DDN. I started watching the show when season 11 was airing, but didn’t get into fandom until early season 13, where I fell hard and fast into this community and have been here ever since! It’s also when I started actively and avidly shipping Destiel (I was just a casual shipper before then). I joined the DDN because I’m so truly invested in season 16 - in finding/figuring out as much of the truth as possible about the finale and the rest of season 15. My favourite character is probably Cas, but I love all of TFW 2.0 and Wayward a lot. I have so many favourite quotes that I love, but not-surprisingly I think I have to go with either “Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being”, or “for love”.
Hi! I’m Steph (@stephlovessubway), she/her and I’m a researcher at DDN. I started watching the show in 2007 (on YouTube no less) and then watching live with season 4 in 2008. I have seen the highs (season 4 and season 5) and the lows (season 7) on Tumblr, and took a break for a few years and started back with season 10. I rewatched all the series in the first UK lockdown and managed to witness the wild end of season 15. I’ve shipped destiel from the beginning, mainly because Cas is my favourite character, and have thoroughly enjoyed season 16 on Tumblr. My favourite quote is Cas’s monologue at the beginning of The Man Who Would Be King.
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