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thisismeracing · 5 months

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King of my heart | MS47 | Part. 23

― Pairing: Mick Schumacher x fem!hamilton!reader ― Warnings: graphic description of unprotected sex (fingering, dirty talk, and p in v), mentions of alcohol, and jealousy. ― Summary: It the ending of the season and fans get a glimpse on Mick and Yn’s perspective. ― A/n: None of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

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part. 22 | series masterlist | part 24

November, 2023

lewishamilton

liked by pierregasly, temsbaby, and others

lewishamilton You'll always be my baby sister, my bisty. I don't care how old you are, if you're dating, if you have kids of your own, or if you get married, you're forever the baby I held and knew I would protect with my life. Happy birthday theofficialyn 💙

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pierregasly Happy birthday, Hamilton baby! 🥳

⤷ hammertime_ why this is so funny to me

⤷ theofficialyn pierre 😠 hamilton baby sounds as if he’s my dad lol

ynfan my fav sibling duo 🥹💖

landonorris happy birthday to my fav brit girl! 💗💗

schumimick imagine having these genes and being born this pretty!

mickschumacher 🥹❤️

⤷ leclerccookies not even mick can’t resist baby yn!

⤷ dreiricciardo mick is the weakest for her and we know it

theofficialyn I love you, lew! thank you for always taking care of me 😭💗 my fav brother 💗

⤷ sainzfiftyfive do they have more siblings? what?

⤷ schumercedes I guess this is the joke, he’s her only brother 😂

georgerussell63 Happy birthday, Yn!!! Love you tons, please stop giving merc admin memes ideas 😘❤️

ginaschumacher

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, and others

ginaschumacher life gave me a little sister and I have never been so grateful. Thank you for being you, and for shining your light on everyone around you. I wish you the happiest life, Yn. I love you tons! 👩🏼‍🤝‍👩🏾💘

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fan02 Is that mickyn I see? Did gina just fed us mickyn crumbs? 😭😭😭😭😭😭

mickschumacher I had no idea you took that pic haha 💜 we look cute, ily

⤷ astonmartinha GINA POSTED MICKYN 😭😭😭

theofficialyn I love you, g! You’re a gift life brought to me and I’ll cherish and keep you forever! 👩🏼‍🤝‍👩🏾💞💞

⤷ burrowleclerc oh to be best friends with my boyfriend’s sister

carmenmmundt 🥹🥰 Happy bday, Yn!!! You’re such a kind soul, and it’s an honor to be your friend. Ily!

ylnrain I find it so gentle and endearing the way the schumacher and the hamiltons became close friends all because of mick and yn. like, she could just be acquaintance with gina, but they’re always seem together and they truly root for each other, you can see it. and then there’s mick and lewis who got even closer during these past few months, like…this is some romance book typa shit and I love it!

⤷ norrizzfour bestie ur rant was longer than the birthday wishes but I love that for you 😅🤣

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc I won't say you're like a sister to me or else your brother will push me off the track 🙄 but it's a pleasure to be your friend and to share the struggles and the good things of life with you. Thank you for always remembering about me with your sugary diet vegan desserts. Life is sweeter around you! Happy birthday, Yn ❤️

comments on this post have been limited

pierregasly 👍

⤷ lewisfan not pierre jealous LMAO

⤷ theofficialyn he loves you a tiiiiiny bit more than he loves me, believe me

⤷ pierregasly yeah but he never said life is sweeter around me 🤬

⤷ arthur_leclerc he did say it was funnier tho

⤷ joris_trouche 🤔🤨🤨

⤷ theofficialyn did charles told you to comment this, arthur? 🤣

⤷ charles_leclerc I’m trying to avoid a future track collision here, Yn!

⤷ landonorris you guys so dramatic 🤦‍♂️

danielricciardo Happy birthday, Yn!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🙌🏻

carlossainz55 feliz cumpleaños, hamilton! ❤️❤️

scuderiaferrari so she HAS been bringing you sweets huh?

⤷ theofficialyn they’re all healthy I promise, I even talked with the nutritionist 😇

⤷ georgerussell63 rumor has it she didn’t talk with the nutricionista

⤷ georgerussell63 but they’re all healthy anyways, calories free and all, even I eat some!!!

⤷ theofficialyn I was about to call alex to beat ur ass!

franciscac.gomes feliz aniversário, yn! 🥹🥰💗 te amo!!!

⤷ theofficialyn I love you more, kikaaaa! 💘💘

🐦‍⬛ twitter

mickschumacher

liked by danielricciardo, mercedesamgf1, and others

mickschumacher I am the luckiest guy for having you in my life. I still remember the first time I saw you, and to this day I still feel all giddy whenever you walk into the room. I wanna spend the rest of my life by your side, smiling, laughing, crying, talking, sharing every moment. I wish you the happiest birthday, and an even happier life, Schatzi. I love you 💛 here’s to many more birthdays together

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ynsunshine the mickey shirt 😭

⤷ spanishgp23 isn’t that how yn calls him?

⤷ ynsunshine exactly!!!!! 😭

estebanocon happy birthday, yn!! 🩵🩵🩵

mercedesamgf1 happy birthday to the merc’s garage sunshine 💓

theofficialyn forever 💗

🐦‍⬛ twitter

📸 instagram

theofficialyn

liked by exudoblues, pierregasly, and others

theofficialyn had a great time in Brazil with some even greater people 💛💚💙🤍

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brunamarquezine te amooooo! 🩵🩵 (Ily)

keepupwthehamiltons I saw yn was with Iza too, and I’m manifesting something between iza and lewis like 😩😩 they would be so powerful together

mickschumacher ❤️

satelliteferrari mick showing up twice 🥰 she really said MY man

lewishamilton thank you for always having my back 💙

⤷ theofficialyn you’re my forever number 1! Love you, lew 😘

⤷ hamiltonsiblings my forever number 1 😀🥲☹️😭 meanwhile my brother calls me ugly in every possible language

1directiontrack I say give Yn the citizen title too 🇧🇷

mickschumacher

liked by estebanocon, lancestroll, and others

mickschumacher vegas, baby! 😚

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gaslightgasly I wonder if the last pic isnt a soft launch for his new seat next year 👀

⤷ schumicedes I haven’t thought about it, but it makes sense…

mickynshipper I love how they’re the center of each others posts 😩💗

sainzleclerc God, I’ve seen what you done for others 🙇‍♀️

estebanocon I like the new haircut 😎

gaslybestie I can’t be the only one who had some very age restricted thoughts with the fourth pic…

⤷ vettelforever oh you’re def not alone on this train bestie

porscheschumi I am invested on this porsche 2024 mick!! omg omg

December, 2023

📸 instagram

theofficialyn & mickschumacher

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theofficialyn it's the most beautiful time of the year 😍❤️🎄

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lewishamilton sickenly cute, but ily 🤍

ginaschumacher its even prettier sharing it with you guys 💚

ynfan2 the way they're always included in each other's dump is so wholesome, I bet they waited way too long to do it, and now it must feel liberating

⤷ russellsainz they're showing off but I would too if I dated one of them

estebanocon merry xmas!! 🎅

sunnyyn its their first Christmas together I'm crying pls

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, lovelies! I hope you liked this quick chapter, we're about to reach the last one and I'm a bit nervoussss hihi Let me know your thoughts on this chapter and komh in general *mwah*.

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buckyownsmylife · 4 years

Text

Fast and Slow - Harry Styles smut

The one where your dom lent you to Harry and he’s very eager to have you.

Warnings: smut, oral sex (m), p in v, overstimulation, sex bench, sex fluids, cursing, bdsm, restraints, sharing kink?, Harry is a soft dom and calls you “little one” a lot.

A/N: Day 12 of kinktober and the prompts were being lent to another dom and “say my name + louder”. I’m actually really proud of this one because I managed to incorporate another prompt that I never thought I’d be able to use on my fics, so I guess this idea of doing kinktober to explore some kinks is really working for me. As always (for kinktober fics), unrevised because I literally just finished it and I’m already dead inside.

Harry’s P.O.V.

I did my best to close the door behind me making as little noise as possible. Still, I noticed by the way her muscles tensed up that she’d heard me approach, and the anticipation was visibly affecting her.

Clicking my tongue, I allowed myself this first moment to explore her naked body with my eyes as she remained knelt by the foot of the bed, her head lowered to avoid meeting my gaze. She’d followed my orders perfectly, as I’d come to expect by what her dom explained of her, and I could feel my cock already hardening on my pants, the only piece of clothing I still wore.

There was nothing I appreciated more than a good, obedient little girl. I already knew she’d be perfect for me. But I’d known that long before, the first time I laid my eyes on her, even. It was an immediate attraction, one that I couldn’t act on simply because she already belonged to someone else.

So when her dom announced that they were up to experiment with sharing, I was quick to jump on the opportunity to have her, at least for one night. “You really are beautiful, aren’t you?” I asked, running a single finger under her chin so I could raise her eyes to meet mine, and I lost my breath at that simple connection.

She just had this thing about her, such sensuality seemed to lie just beneath the surface of her gaze. I felt it deep in my bones every time we were out for drinks and I had the hardest time trying to keep my hands to myself, trying to remember that she was with my friend.

And as much as the outings proved difficult to me, I couldn’t find it in myself to care. Not when my friendship with her dom meant that I got to see her at least once a week. Not when it allowed me the chance of being here with her, in this situation.

Well, first things first, I knew we had communicated pretty extensively prior to this session, but I felt like I should run over the most basic rule once more. Even though all I wanted to do was to jam my cock in her pretty little throat.

“What’s your safe word?” I asked, still holding her jaw so she’d look me in the eyes and see just how seriously I actually took this. I thought I saw the shadow of a smile pass over her face, but it was gone as quickly as it came, and she was back to the picture perfect submissive front.

“Red for stopping, yellow for slowing down and three taps when I need to stop and can’t speak.” I did smile at her answer, satisfied at how thorough she’d been. It was clear too, by the way she ran over her words and the glint in her eye, that she was just as eager as I was to get this started.

I wouldn’t keep her waiting much longer. We did have only one night, after all. “Good job, little one.” I acknowledged as I straightened up, keeping my crotch on her eye level before nodding to her. “Take me off my trousers.”

Her hands trembled slightly as she worked on my belt before going for the zipper, but it was clear by the way she bit on her lower lip that it was from excitement. I licked my lips at the prospect of the night that we had ahead of us, knowing she was right in getting anxious for it. I had a lot planned for us.

I watched with clear amusement as her breath bitched at the sight of my cock, almost hard already, and it was obvious that she was entranced by it. “Go ahead,” I signaled, once again nodding towards her. “Lick it. Give it a taste.”

She looked up at me with those bright, wide eyes and I had to bite on my inner cheek to contain a groan of desire that threatened to make its way into our one-person conversation. But then, she stuck out her tongue, running it over the length of my member and I was a goner, a loud moan escaping my lips.

I’d always been a vocal person in bed.

“Okay, stop. Hands behind your back. Open your mouth for me.” Her mouth fell open to obey my request easily, her tongue sticking out once more like she couldn’t get enough of my taste already. It was hard to keep the smile off my face, and I could see that she appreciated the sight of my dimples as she couldn’t take her eyes off of it.

Once, she’d been wine drunk in one of our friendly outings, and she admitted she thought they were extremely cute. I’d started to smile even more around her after that, always keeping an attentive eye to watch her fascination with my dimples whenever they appeared.

“‘M gonna fuck your face now, okay, love?” She nodded, mouth still open, eyes connected to mine. I had to chuckle at the pure image of compliant enthusiasm that she portrayed. I, too, couldn’t wait to have her mouth wrapped around my cock.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

His hand curled around my nape and he pulled me to meet his member by it, the other one coming to cradle my cheek as he slowly penetrated my open mouth. The hiss he let out as he fed me inch by inch of his beautiful cock was like music to my ears.

God, he was beautiful. I couldn’t believe he actually wanted to dom me and now here I was, with his cock halfway down my throat. I felt so unbelievably lucky, and even more incredibly horny. How could it be that he didn’t have a sub anymore? I would drop to my knees instantly, any time he asked me to.

I knew I should feel bad about thinking like that when it was only a loan - I was with another dom, I wouldn’t be with Harry again after tonight. But I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t how I felt.

Specially when he threw his head back after I managed to swallow his entire length, his curls bouncing from the action and the sweetest little moans escaping from his beautiful pink lips. God, he was beautiful.

“Fuck, you’re precious,” he complimented, suddenly looking down at me with those incredible green eyes. A shiver ran down my spine at the connection, and the most predatory smirk painted his lips, making me whine around the cock on my lips. “Ready?” He asked, running his thumb over my cheekbones, his hands making my already hot face feel even warmer. When I managed to slightly nod, he did too, immediately pulling almost completely out of my mouth before thrusting back in.

The instinctive reaction to gag was undeniable, but despite the tears that immediately appeared on my eyes, I forced myself to breathe deeply through my nose and focus on the symphony that Harry was creating, with his moans and gasps and the wet sounds of gurgling and spit from his thrusts.

“You’re a little cockslut, aren’t you, sweetheart? So eager to please, I could see it in your eyes just how much you wanted my cock, huh?” I moaned around his member at the dirty words he so effortlessly threw around. I’d never thought Harry would be this vocal during sex, but god if it didn’t make me horny. In fact, I was so fucking wet that it was dripping down onto the floor of his bedroom, running down my thighs and ankles.

It was so damn filthy, and I loved every second of it. He pulled me by my hair so I could lick his balls while I gathered my breath, and I immediately put one in my mouth, rolling it before doing the same with the other. By the way he whined, I could see he loved it.

“Come back here, I wanna cum down your throat.” The prospect was one that I very much ached for, since my pussy was throbbing at the perspective. I didn’t even feel any hurt from the way he forcefully thrusted into my mouth before he started to roughly facefuck me, I was just too ecstatic about bringing him this much pleasure.

“I’m gonna cum, love. I’m cumming.” I loved that he kept the same nickname that he usually called me in social situations. It had always made me feel tingly, but when he was filling my mouth with his warm liquid, it was a different experience entirely.

Harry’s P.O.V.

It took a lot of strength and control not to fall down on my knees after cumming on her lips. She made me weak, it was ridiculous and dangerous but I was already addicted to the feeling.

I took some minutes to catch my breath before offering my hand to help her up, and when she accepted it, I couldn’t help but to trail my eyes down her body, appreciating each inch of skin available for my gaze to explore. But there was another way in which I wanted to survey her body.

“Come here, little one.” I took her to the edge of the room where I’d prepared the sex bench, observing her reactions to see how she would take it. She didn’t look like she recognized it, but she also didn’t seem repelled by it, which I took as a win.

“I take it you haven’t used this before.” She nodded, glancing at me before averting her eyes. “You can look at me when I’m talking to you, sweetheart.” The look of surprise she gave me left me with an unpleasant feeling. I knew it was common in bdsm, especially with more stricter doms, to train their subs so that they’re always visibly submissive. But the idea of someone missing the chance of having her beautiful eyes on them left me in despair. It left me feeling like she wasn’t properly appreciated, and that didn’t sit well with me at all.

“Are you comfortable with exploring this with me?” When she immediately nodded, an easy smile appeared on my lips, and I allowed her to see it flourish. “Then hop on it, sweetheart. I can’t wait to see you spread open for my viewing pleasure.”

She bit her lip at my admission, and I helped her settle on the bench before strapping the restraints over her ankles and arms. Then, after a quick caress of her cheek, I assumed my position behind her, biting my own lip at the sight that welcomed me.

Her wetness was already dripping over her pussy lips, and I instinctively raised my hand to open her for me, checking her weeping hole before quickly plunging two fingers inside of her, making her gasp.

“You’re drenched, love.” She agreed with me, albeit a little breathlessly, and I chuckled before wrapping my lips around the two fingers that had been inside of her, tasting her wetness. She was so sweet, it tasted heavenly in my mouth.

Humming in appreciation, I collected some more of her juices before sticking my fingers inside of her again, this time in search of her sweet spot. When I heard her gasp again, I knew I’d reached my goal.

“Does it feel good when I touch you like this?” I asked, thrusting my fingers in and out of her, making sure to hit that special spongy place every time my digits were deep within her pussy.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I cried out at the feeling of Harry’s fingers inside of me, after spending so long with this burning arousal inside of me, taking care of him without being touched. He fucked me so furiously, it barely seemed like he retreated his fingers at all, and soon enough, I was cumming with his digits pressing inside that spot that had my eyes rolling to the back of my head, my legs spasming as I felt the urge to close them, stop him from continuing to stimulate me, but I couldn’t. Not when I was tied to this bench, vulnerable to whatever wish he wanted to express with my body.

I finally understood the reason for the chair.

When he didn’t stop thrusting his fingers in and out of me, another orgasm quickly rolled in, making me spasm against the leather seat, begging him for something - to keep fucking me or to stop, I couldn’t say.

Still, it seemed like he knew just what I wanted to say, or at the very least, what I needed in that moment, because even though he didn’t remove his fingers - or even stopped moving whatsoever - he drastically slowed down the movement, opting to insert them in me at a snail’s pace.

“You like it here, don’t you?” He asked, clearly laughing at my agony, and if I could, I would have laughed too. “You know, I like having you here, like this, too. It’s been so long since I had a sub, I didn’t remember how much I missed it until I saw you knelt down by my bed.”

I was trying very hard to focus on what he was saying, but it was getting harder by the second, since despite the brutality of the last two orgasms he collected from me, the calm pace with which he kept on fucking me with my fingers was very quickly reigniting the fire of desire within me.

“Of course, it could just be you. You know, I had no idea you were into this kind of thing, when we met. If I’d known…” He didn’t continue, but I understood what he wanted to say nonetheless. If we’d known about this aspect of our personalities, perhaps I’d be his sub now.

The idea of being Harry’s, of having this every single day paired with the feeling of his digits still pressing against my sweet spot incited another release from me, and now I could hear just how wet I’d become.

“Feeling a tad overstimulated, love?” He teased, finally pulling his fingers from me and granting me some relief. I heard a sucking sound that brought shivers down my spine at the realisation that he had sucked my wetness from his digits, but before I could focus too much on that, I felt the blunt head of his cock against my hole, just slightly rubbing it in.

“Think you can handle just one more orgasm? Wanna feel you clench around my cock, sweetheart. Think you can do this for me?” I don’t think I’d ever nodded as quickly for anything in my entire life, but I felt plenty compensated for my enthusiasm when I felt him pushing inside of me, stretching me open to accept his long cock.

“Fuck,” he groaned when he finally bottomed out, the position I was in due to the sex bench assuring that he was perfectly nested against my sweet spot and I think the sensation was overwhelming for him too, by the way he inadvertently jerked his hips, hitting my g-spot after he was finally completely in.

I didn’t think I could feel better than I felt in that moment, impaled on his cock, but that was before he started thrusting in and out of me. The overstimulation had my nerves on fire, every single one of my cells screaming out for me, as I was too, and then his voice pierced through my senses, begging me to say his name, scream his name, until I did just so, exactly when I felt that warm pit of arousal explode inside of me.

“Louder,” he ordered, his fingers burying themselves on the flesh of my ass, and I couldn’t disobey him. All I knew was his name, all I could do was to scream it from the top of my lungs, desperate to release some of the astounding sensations I felt travel through me.

Harry moaned my name when he came, too. It was the first thing I remember focusing on when I stopped hearing the beat of my own heart on my ears, followed suit by the feeling of his warm cum dripping from my abused pussy lips and running down my legs.

He scooped some of it up, careful not to overwhelm me, before feeding it to me, and I was more than glad to wrap my lips around his fingers and suck them just how I’d done to his cock.

“You know…” He started after he’d released me and helped me put on a robe, and was now massaging some lotion on my wrists. He looked nervous, almost unsure of himself, and the idea made me curious. “Call me crazy all you want, we can pretend I never even asked it after you get out of here.”

He took a deep breath before continuing and I felt my heartbeat pick up as I realised what he could be about to ask. “Would you consider becoming mine? My sub, I mean? We can talk to…”

I interrupted him by throwing myself at him, wrapping my arms around his shoulder as I buried my face on his neck. “I’d love to, Harry.” He didn’t immediately react, but then, I felt him reciprocate my hug before feeling his warm hands rubbing over my back.

“I’d love to too, sweetheart.”

#harry styles #smut #harry styles smut #kinktober #kinktober 2020 #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles wrinting #harry styles writings #harry styles dom

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leo-interactive-fiction · 3 years

Note

How would the ROs react if they saw one of their family members showing MC their embarrassing childhood photos

E’s mother lifts the photos out of their reach, stepping around your desperately grasping companion as she tuts, “What else will I have to show for my maternity, if not the ability to completely embarrass my child in front of their crush? Did you know they used to call bath time ‘tubby time’? It was all very cute.”

E is naturally petrified by these developments, “N-No! They don’t need to know about that!”

------

R’s father flips through older photos with a cold detachment before allowing them all to flutter to the ground, “You used to be such a promising child. What an unfortunate deviation you’ve made.”

R stares at a settled picture resting on the ground, their entire family crowding into the frame, “I guess I grew wise.”

------

L’s life is a well-documented timeline, from the many scholarly achievements and accolades they’ve received to their more shameful moments of acting out scenes from books they’ve read and getting startled by crabs at the beach, the latter now in full display in a small scrapbook that came in the mail with a small note attached reading, “Never forget your beginnings --Walter”

L attempts to hide the pages by forcibly closing the book, laughing skittishly, “S-Surely we don’t need to look through every page...”

------

An aged man with greyed stubble and a ragged duster reveals faded pictures of V, their visage covered in crimson stains as they stand among similarly adorned figures surrounding a campfire, charred bones resting in its embers.

You watch as V presses their back against the wall in an attempt to create as much distance as possible, an uneasy panic in their eyes as they begin hyperventilating.

The man stares with an unnatural acuity for his years, talking to you with an unconcerned, gravelly voice, “I reckon you have something of mine. I’ll be having it back now, if I may.”

------

Picture of a much younger and softer-looking P in floaties, trying determinedly to paddle against the water is snuck to you by their twin until their snickering draws the attention of the firebrand.

After they forcibly take the picture and realize what it is, it ignites into fire and proceeds to ash in P’s hand, “I’m real curious to know what the fuck you think you were doing with this.”

------

You get a text message from M, asking if you want to see the cute baby pictures that they randomly found! Curious, you say yes. Moments later, your phone beeps again, but when you open it up you don’t expect to find a more suggestive picture of their adult figure. It’s on your screen for mere seconds before disappearing, replaced with a small “oops” before the actual baby pictures are sent.

When you try to question them about the first picture later, they plead ignorance. “Maybe...you have...a very...vivid...imagination...I do too...”

------

A black-haired woman delicately holds the charred edges of Raven’s faded picture, paling at its contents and looking visibly shaken, “Where did you get this?”

“Is that all you have to say?” Raven paces slowly around the woman like a shark circling prey, hissing out, “It’s been so long since you’ve seen me, hasn’t it? Though I’ve always been there...right underneath the floorboards of that witch hut.”

The woman’s hand tightens around the picture, crumbling it into a ball as their voice fills with a mixture of grief and rage, “I have nothing to say to you! I don’t know you and I don’t want to. Get out of my life!”

------

S’s family descends upon them like a crashing wave, their siblings attaching themselves like restraints to their arms and legs as ma and pa open their arms in celebration. Pa gives a gruff chortle, “To think I’d see the day ya’d bring someone back ‘ere! When’s the ceremony s’posed ta be?”

Ma chimes in, pulling you in with a homely embrace, “Well aren’t ya jus’ a doll? Come, come, I’ll show ya aroun’, an’ get out the pictures!”

“Ah no, Ma, not the pictures,” S dully argues, only to be pulled back by their siblings, the oldest of them smirking deviously.

“Ain’t no fightin’ it now, ya big sissy.”

“Who ya callin’ sissy?” S picks them up, throwing them onto their shoulders and parading them around as the younger ones begin jumping for a turn next.

“Don’t ya mind them,” Ma tells you sweetly, directing you back to the small frames photos of S digging through the scrapyard piles, showing off interesting items they discovered in the unorganized mess.”

------

Pictures of a younger and brighter-eyed F tumble onto the table between you and Fern, a serpentine smile parting his mouth as he casually looks between each photo. “This was your fifth birthday, was it not? I believe you spent the majority of it frolicking in the woods. Our brother always did enjoy those delusions of yours.”

“What are you playing at?” F narrows their eyes as they flick between the table and their sinister brother, “I have high doubt you came simply to reminisce.”

“Would that be so bad? No matter. I’m only offering a little perspective for that servant of yours,” Fern gives you an inspecting look as though sizing up a cut of meat. “There are other pieces at play than a starry-eyed traditionalist unwilling to fall a few trees for the good of our nation. Consider this an opportunity at...better employment.”

F stands suddenly, interrupting the proceedings with a terse finality, “Your appearance was appreciated.”

------

Haha, there’s some fluff and some angst, hope ya enjoy!

#romance options #triaina academy

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bettsfic · 3 years

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march pinned: ending the sex project

in the march edition of my lowkey writing-related newsletter, in addition to my writing-related post roundup and upcoming consultation availability, i have personal essay recommendations and a segment on the definition of a project!

for more information on my creative coaching services, check out my carrd.

if you want to receive my lowkey writing-related newsletter directly, you can subscribe here.

full newsletter below the cut, or you can read it here.

fuck february, amiright?

i thought january was bad. but february. february was the stuff of nightmares. my cousin passed away from covid (you can read about her here; she was really an amazing person and i feel so lucky to have known her). i was finally formally diagnosed with PCOS (bittersweet, i guess). my car broke down. i took two (2) days off and it took me two and a half weeks to get caught up again. i can only hope march treats us all a little more gently.

the good news is, i finished revisions on my short story collection to send to my agent, finished workshop submissions for the semester, and now i can return to my first love, fanfiction. that i am constantly working through original fiction to return to fanfiction has been making me think a lot about the nature of a creative, capital-p Project. so, this month’s BTALA (been thinkin a lot about) is going to inspect the concept of a “project.”

new resource

last month i unveiled a folder of my favorite short stories which i’m pleased to hear several of you have perused and gotten some inspiration from. this month i’ve compiled my favorite personal essays. there are fewer essays than there are short stories because i’ve broken them into two groups: personal and craft. next month i hope to have the craft essays compiled.

i’m always looking for more things to love, so if you have recommendations for your favorite short stories and essays, i’d be happy to hear them!

writing-related posts

how to physically maneuver the revision process

the difference between M and E ratings of fic

resources for worldbuilding (check out the reblogs for more!)

a couple syntax/prose book recs

how to break a long work into chapters

march availability

unfortunately i have to cut my coaching hours down a bit, so i don’t have any openings left in march, but i have some availability in april. if you’re interested in a writing consultation, please fill out this google form!

you can learn more about my services on my carrd.

what i’m into rn

for the past year, i’ve basically been trapped in a 10x10 room, and my health is definitely reflecting that, both mentally (does anyone else feel like they’re living in groundhog day? just, every day being exactly the same except fractionally worse than the day before??) and physically (i reorganized the kitchen and could barely move for two days).

reader, i have discovered something called “walking,” in which i put on real human shoes and go outside. it feels strange, bestial. neighbors wave hello to me. a harrowing experience.

while doing this, this walking, i’ve been listening to the lolita podcast which a friend recommended to me, a ten-episode series that dives into everything lolita: the novel itself, its context, adaptations, greater cultural responses, and — as a sticker on my laptop says — vladimir “russian dreamboat” nabokov. as far as i can tell it seems well-researched and presents the many perspectives of lolita in a fair way. i’m only a few eps in, but i’m entranced so far. highly recommended if you, like me, have a complicated relationship with lolita.

i’ve also found myself mildly addicted to a mobile otome game called obey me, which. look i know it’s like the definition of cringe but it’s also mind-numbingly fun and if i want to spend my minimal free time pretending 7 demon brothers are all vying for my affection then that’s between me and god. it’s a lot of what i loved about WoW: frequent events, bright colors, a daily to do list of simple but satisfying tasks, many many rewards, and it doesn’t take itself very seriously. and if i have 4k fic written of mammon/reader that’s nobody’s business but mine and my longsuffering ao3 subscribers.

i’m telling you this because i don’t know anyone else who plays it and am desperate to trade headcanons. so if you play, or start playing, hit me up!! i will give u mad tips and daily AP.

been thinkin a lot about

the project. the project. even the word “project.” PROject (noun). proJECT (verb). what is the project? “project” comes from the latin pro and jacare which means “to throw forward,” or projectum which means “something prominent.” a projector throws forward an image. to project onto something means to throw your perspective onto something else. to embark on a project is to make something prominent in your life. the concept of “the projects” comes from public housing projects, the government throwing forward affordable housing.

what is the project? in joseph harris’ essay “coming to terms” he says that “to define the project of a writer is…to push beyond his text, to hazard a view about not only what someone has said but also what he was trying to accomplish by saying it.” harris’ perspective is that of an english teacher encouraging his students to read critically, not just to summarize a text but to find its project, its greater purpose. and while i first read this essay in a seminar on composition pedagogy, it stuck with me as a writer. it made me reconsider the greater nature of the creative project.

how many of us, if asked to describe our writing project, would begin with a plot or character premise, the nuts and bolts of a specific story? maybe even the working title? but i wonder, is breaking out the plot really the project? is the discipline of sitting down and typing really the project? and when the story is finished, is the project over? what is the project?

in 2019, i wrote 86k words of a novel. i began revising that novel last fall, and i’m finding that i’ll probably keep maybe less than 10k of that initial draft. i’m not bothered by that. the novel i wrote before that started at 125k, then i rewrote the entire thing to 200k, then i whittled it back down to 160k, and next i’ll be tasked with paring it back down to 80k. i’m not bothered by that either. in the past five years or so i’ve written about 2 million words, and i’ve only published 20k of them. only 1% of what i’ve written, i’ve published. in the words of lauren cooper (catherine tate), i’m not bothered.

i used to see publication as the birth of the project, and writing it akin to a long gestation period. then i saw publication as the death of the project, and its life was lived in its drafting. now, publication seems irrelevant to the project. the confines of a story and its many revisions are also irrelevant to the project. the beginning of a story is not the start of the project and the end of the story is not the end of the project. the project is larger than the story, its revisions, its publication, and its eventual readership.

i think it took me so long to see this because for so many years i was still in my first project, the sex project, an exploration of trauma and sexual identity, which began in 2014 with destiel fanfiction, endured through many fandom shifts, my MFA, years adrift as an adjunct, all the way through 2020 with the completion of my short story collection. i used to wonder how anyone could write about anything other than sex. to me it was the only topic worth my attention. i was certain that i would spend my entire life being a sex writer and i’d never find fulfillment writing a young adult sci fi adventure or a highly literary novel about complicated family dynamics. i was baffled by people who were interested in other things, who could write entire novels without using the word “cock” even once.

then my sex project ended. i don’t know when exactly it happened or why, but suddenly i realized i never wanted to write another artful description of an orgasm or find a tactful euphemism for a vagina ever again (personally i prefer “wet cunt” because not only is it blunt, i find it phonetically pleasing). obviously i’m still writing explicit fanfic but it doesn’t feel the same as it used to. sex feels more sidelined to me, even if it’s still the center and drive of a fic. i no longer get any personal satisfaction from writing it, although i do get satisfaction in sharing the work for readers to enjoy.

it’s like i’ve somehow solved the biggest puzzle of my life. or i guess made peace with my meanest monster, that extremely complicated double-mind of desire that some non-sex-repulsed asexuals feel: you want to feel desire you can’t actually feel so you write it into fiction, to try to understand this thing you can’t have and which society tells you you’re missing, and you don’t even know if you don’t have it, because you still feel desire for affection and intimacy, and maybe even a desire to be desired. and for those of us who are asexual and have c-ptsd, sex you don’t actually want (but don’t know you don’t want, because maybe you’re ambivalent and mildly curious and touch-starved) and an unrelenting drive toward people-pleasing can be a dangerous combination. how can you ever know what consent is if you always put other people’s desires above your own?

maybe i’m alone in this. maybe i’m not. maybe for most people, wanting sex is a light switch: yes i want it, or no i don’t. but for me, i had to write a whole lot of words to figure out things like desire, consent, intimacy, forgiveness, the shape that good love takes. the lengthy theoretical flowchart of “i might be interested in having sex if this and this and this and this and this happens in this exact order and under these exact circumstances.”

it was hard to write something into reality that i have never seen except in pieces, in subtext i clung to with no lexicon to give it shape and meaning. te lawrence in lawrence of arabia. some of tarantino’s early work. the film benny and joon. and weirdly, the star wars prequels (that one’s hard to explain; i’ll spare you). i don’t think the sex project was about coming to terms with my asexuality as much as it was trying to organize my thoughts and feelings by continuously rendering my own experiences within a greater, shinier ideal — like how you sometimes have to unravel the entire skein of yarn to find the loose end, and only then can you get started.

i guess i’m in the infancy of the power project now. i’m moving toward themes of control, infamy, greatness. the exact circumstances in which atrocity occurs. how people rise into leadership and fall from grace. the consequences of success. i don’t know why this project has come to me, or what, if anything, it has to do with me. i’m not famous and have no intention of becoming famous; i don’t have social power or influence, at least not beyond my little corner of fandom, and i’m not interested in having it. and yet, here we are, already hundreds of thousands of words in.

my fics digging for orchids (tgcf) and a standing engagement (the hunger games) deal with the detriments of fame. and even float (breaking bad) to a degree is about the aftermath of being so close to power. my novel cherry pop, loosely based on macbeth, is about an ongoing power exchange between two teenage girls. my other novel, vandal, is about a girl who believes she has magic powers and casts a spell on her neighbor to fall in love with her. and i’m in the very early stages of a novel called groundswell, a cult story i’ve been wanting to write for years. i had no idea why i couldn’t write it until i realized it wasn’t yet my project. i’m not even to the stage of developing characters, let alone a premise or plot. i’m still just building my aesthetic pile (i discuss the aesthetic pile here, as well as vandal in more detail), watching documentaries on cults, reading books, finding inspiration, marking down ideas as they come. it may be years before i’m ready to sit down and write it.

now that i know what the project is, i have more patience with myself. it doesn’t bother me to rewrite a novel from the beginning, or to scrap novels altogether, because the story isn’t the project. the project cannot be diminished by cutting words, sentences, paragraphs, entire chapters. the project does not have a product. the project cannot be published. the project is in the practice, in dragging the impossibly large into clear, acute existence, so you can see it. so you can see the very center of what you thought was an unknowable thing.

#pinned #lkwrnl

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1188

Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? I did it a couple of times with a past girlfriend, but I’m honestly not a fan of it unless I’m somewhere with a serious lack of bathrooms and it’s the only choice available. I like my space when I get myself all cleaned up lol.

What kind of pizza toppings do you like? Different kinds of cheeses do it for me, really. If I absolutely have to pick toppings, I do like bacon, bell peppers, barbecue chicken, or onions on my pizza.

When did you first take a shot of alcohol? I have no idea, actually. Maybe 20? 21? I never noted the year down. I don’t even know the first shot I ever took...if I had to guess, it was probably tequila.

Did you babysit for money when you were in middle school? No. I babysat because I was the eldest daughter and granddaughter in an Asian household, haha.

Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Paramore; 17 years, have loved them for 14.

Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? Many times. She used to be a welcome guest.

Have you ever been to a spa? I don’t think I’ve ever entered one, no. There’s been no reason to in the past.

When talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear? Right. I don’t remember ever placing it on my left, come to think of it.

What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? Idk, I’ve never had them. American thing, I’m guessing.

Do you like Bob Marley? I don’t hold an opinion on him; I’ve never tried listening to his music.

Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Nope, I don’t know what that is, either.

Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family? Yes, we have dinner together every night. We’ve been doing it since the start of the pandemic; and, with that, since my dad has had to stay at home since he can’t report to work anyway considering the situation. I imagine we’d be back to eating separately once he can report back to his job.

Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to? Yeah, I’m listening to Map of the Soul: 7 and UGH! just started playing. This is such a good FUCKING album it’s absolutely insane how good it is. Whatever spirit possessed BTS throughout 2019 to produce an album this unbelievable wasn’t playing.

Who was the last person to make you genuinely smile? Hobi, since I rewatched the Run BTS segment where he called Conan O’Brien ‘Curtain.’

Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? No.

Do you like men who have a sensitive side? I think it’s nice when anyone has a sensitive side and isn’t ashamed to be in touch and expressive with their emotions. Doesn’t have to apply to just guys.

Have you ever tried to get someone into a certain band/artist? I don’t do that with any of my interests because I don’t want to potentially irritate or bore someone, or to potentially face the disappointment I’d feel when they don’t end up being enthusiastic about what I’m into. I’m totally okay with my interests just being My Thing, no need to drag other people into them.

Have you ever carved you and someone else’s initials into a tree? Nopes.

Do you like Dairy Queen? Just some items, like their Oreo Frappe or whatever it’s called. I’m not a big fan of ice cream cakes and I’ve never really explored their Blizzards.

Is there anyone you know with an amazing personal success story? Andi.

Is there a song in a different language that you can sing? Well Filipino is my first language rather than English, so yes.

How do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts? I’ve never experienced this other than One Direction using fireworks at the end of their concert here (and they weren’t launched from the stage either, but somewhere backstage), so I don’t really know what to feel about this other than they should just make sure they’re following safety protocols and standards to avoid mishaps.

Ever fallen down a hole? I don’t think so.

Do you like bananas? Not so much, but I don’t passionately hate it as much as I do other fruits. I do like some dishes that incorporate banana, like banana bread and banoffee pie. Recently I discovered Korean banana milk and it ended up tasting pretty good!

How long do you normally spend in the shower? Not even 10 minutes, usually. I've never understood how people can take such long showers. < Yeah, pretty much on the same page. The only times I take a while is if I feel like shaving, but otherwise I shower quickly. Maybe around 4–7 minutes at most.

Have you ever been a featured member on any website? I don’t think that ever happened, at least when having featured members was still a thing.

Have you ever had any weird pets? Nope.

Are you currently talking to/texting/instant messaging anyone? I am not. Though I know I have unread messages from Andi...I just don’t feel like checking them right now.

Have you ever experienced insomnia? Only when I was a teenager. It’s been a while since I’ve faced any trouble in trying to fall asleep.

Do you like egg nog? I’ve never had a chance to try it but it sounds delicious, and I would definitely take a sip the first opportunity I get.

Would you ever wear Converse with a prom/formal dress? I don’t see why I would have to but if it’s just for funsies, it sounds pretty harmless so yeah, I would.

Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows? Withoooooooooout. I’ve never understood marshmallows.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? In a romantic sense, none. But I’ve cried for other reasons, like when I mourned over my grandpa and Nacho.

Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? Surgeon, since there’s a tiny part in me that had always wanted to take up med school.

Would rather be a musician or a painter? Painter, if anything. I’m not creative by any means, but I feel like I’d enjoy a lot more freedom with painting.

Would you rather write your own book or make your own movie? [continued from last night] Write my own book I suppose, but I could only work with non-fiction. I’d embarass myself if I had to write something not based off of real life.

At home, do you have a trampoline? No. But this reminds me of when we’d go to Rita’s place to have meetings whenever we couldn’t hold them in school. She’s the richest one out of all of us, lives in a very old money village, big-ass house, big-ass kitchen, big-ass receiving areas (plural)...and they also have a nice trampoline in their big-ass yard. We always used to horse around in there as soon as we were done with our meetings.

When you are about to go to bed, do you put on some sort of noise? I used to put on a YouTube video that would entertain me enough to feel relaxed and eventually sleepy, but I haven’t done that in the last few weeks. These days I usually look for a fanfic to get absorbed in, then I read until my eyes start feeling heavy.

What is your favorite Christmas movie? Love Actually or It’s A Wonderful Life.

And what about your favorite Christmas song? It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas makes me feel festive and fuzzy.

What is your ultimate favorite stocking stuffer? My family doesn’t really keep up with this tradition. I remember how our grandparents would fix up stockings for us when we were much younger, but they were usually filled with candy.

After Halloween, do you sort out all of your candy into little piles? I never collected candy for Halloween.

When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? Depends. The rare times I’m working and do feel like putting headphones on, the volume has to be just decent enough so I can still focus. If I’m not doing anything else or at least doing something that doesn’t involve too much ~brain activity~, I like my music very loud.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? It doesn’t really count as breakfast but I’m currently finishing off the remaining two pieces of McNuggets I got last night. 10 pieces is apparently too many for my appetite, haha.

What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Cooper has probably been the biggest and heaviest so far.

Do you own any kind of helmet? We have a bike helmet here at home, but it’s not exclusively mine.

Out of everything currently in your refrigerator, what food or drink is your favorite? I don’t memorize the fridge so I can’t tell you my favorite food that’s currently in it; as for drink, I just stick to cold water.

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Sprained ankle after I tripped at one of the parking lots in school.

Do you like the taste of cough syrup? I’ve never had it.

What is something you like to have conversations about? People with experiences vastly different from mine, because it lets me explore different perspectives. It’s why I always look forward to family reunions with one of my uncles - who’s a foreigner, from a very different country - since he’s able to share a lot of fun and reflective stories about his life and stuff he did in his youth, stuff I never got to experience and live through.

What all is in the trunk of your car? The trunk used to be my trash can lmao, back when I was still driving everyday. My mom has since cleared it out since the beginning of the pandemic; I believe only a laptop bag is sitting there now.

Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? No. I don’t even eat either.

Is your heat or air conditioning currently on? My electric fan is. I don’t turn on the aircon until the evening.

Have you ever fallen off of a horse? Nopes.

Which do you value more, your appearance or your intelligence? Both are important to me.

When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? I don’t remember. I’ve only ever driven cars.

Were your grandparents present when you were born? Neither set wasn’t in any of the photos from my birth, so I don’t think so...? My maternal grandparents definitely wouldn’t have been present, since my parents had been living in Manila then.

If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? I vape...pretty much all day. I’m doing it while taking this survey. As for drink, I would say 1-2 times a month. Usually after a particularly grueling shift.

What do you think of fast food? I love it. Unabashedly. I just don’t have them a lot because I don’t find it filling and the quality is obviously lower; but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the way fast food tastes.

What website do you spend the most time on and why? Google Suite, if it counts. I work 5 days a week; it’s pretty much an extension of me at this point.

What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? All day. I’m always using the internet to do things. I used to be embarrassed of it, but these days I feel like having a connection is virtually an essential.

When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? Museums, historical sites, cultural sites, and spots where they show you how they do practices native to the place. I’ve always been about immersing myself in the cultures of the places I visit.

What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? I remember having to walk for a very very very VERY long time when we were in Bali - my family wanted to explore more of the city - and the weather wasn’t cooperative at all, so I ended up feeling super cranky. I remember also walking around a lot in Shanghai, but that was a slightly better experience since the city was incredibly lively and there were a lot of things to see and stop at; not to mention the weather was also kinda pleasant. The cold was biting but I would always rather be too cold than walk around with sweat-soaked clothes.

What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? Our financial situation what with Covid affecting both my parents’ jobs. We get by enough for me not to worry too much, but I also hope my dad can get called back to his ship soon just so I can finally exhale with relief.

What about something unimportant, but you can’t stop thinking about it? My workplace recently introduced this workout challenge thingy for the month of May that we’re invited to join to encourage us to get fit and healthy. I get notifications whenever someone’s able to exercise for the day and it makes me feel super pressured hahahaha. Since I don’t wanna be known as a killjoy co-worker I know I’ll have to take part in it, which I will start on later.

Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? No. Back in elementary my grandma made me eat oatmeal every day for breakfast before heading to school, so I don’t ever want to have another bowl of it.

What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? My family and I were having a conversation during dinner last night and for some reason it eventually veered towards mine and my sister’s experiences from our first school and how we managed to get up at 5 AM everyday, have classes from 7 AM–4 PM, then get home from anywhere between 5–6 PM for 14 years straight. How tf did we do that and never complain???

How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? None.

What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? While I love watching playthroughs, I am not skilled at video games at all and in most video games I’ve played I never made it past the first mission, unless I was playing a Nintendo game that’s already marketed for kids in the first place lol.

Which accent do you find most sexy, alluring or appealing? There’s a certain British accent I find very pleasant to listen to, but since I know there are a lot of variations I’m just not sure which one it is. I guess an accurate point of reference would be Hugh Grant’s or Florence Pugh’s accent.

Which accent do you find most annoying, disturbing, or bothersome? None of them.

Can you cry on cue? Is it any kind of useful? Nope.

Does it take you a while to actually get jokes? Sometimes.

Can you wear socks to bed or does it annoy you? I don’t really like the feeling of socks, so no. I find them a bit itchy, and too tight.

Have you ever bleached your hair? Never done it before.

Do you like jelly beans? Erm, it would depend on the flavor, I guess. But they aren’t so much my snack of choice. The texture is a bit weird.

Do you have trouble sleeping when it’s storming? Not at all, I feel a lot cozier when it’s raining hard.

Who was the last person you know that graduated? (high school or college) Sofie posted her graduation photo not too long ago, so probably her.

Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming? I never had a babysitter because I was the babysitter.

Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No. I went to an all-girls school, so I didn’t even get to interact with a lot of boys until the middle of high school.

Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? Nope.

Who was your best friend in elementary school? Angela. I was also friends for a long time with a girl named Jaynie, with whom I actually started to reconnect ever since she found out I was now into BTS. I find it so cool; I don’t think I’ve talked to her since the 2nd grade, 15 years ago.

Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? I didn’t.

Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. I'd put them on my dresser everywhere to the point it was absolutely covered. < Literally this entire answer; I don’t have any clue how my overly neat mom managed to never spank me for destroying her closet. I also liked collecting Pokemon cards and pogs even though I never knew how to use them. It just felt nice having large stacks of them lol.

Did you get an allowance? Not until high school. My grandma (and eventually househelp, when we moved) fixed up packed lunches for me and my siblings. When my mom decided to stop having house helpers at home, that’s when she started giving us an allowance to buy recess and lunch ourselves.

Were you into American Girl dolls? I was never into dolls in general. Since my sister and I were the only girls at home, we were surrounded by toys marketed for boys and that’s what I enjoyed playing with more.

Were you friends with your childhood neighbors? We played with the neighborhood kids every afternoon but I wouldn’t call them friends. I was a very shy kid and I found them too rowdy for my liking, especially the boys.

What was your biggest fear when you were a kid? Flying cockroaches. It’s still one of them.

Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games? I don’t think so.

Did your parents let you drink soda growing up? I’m pretty sure they would’ve allowed me to, but I just never liked the feeling of fizzy drinks so I never drank soda anyway.

What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? I think I liked mocha sponge cakes growing up, but that has changed now.

#survey #surveys

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philologer-mosaic · 3 years

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Hey! Fellow writer here! I was curious as to how you learn to write characters and /keep/ them in character without it being overly stereotypical or stiff? I've read your work and I'd love to learn from you ;^;

Hi! Glad to meet you, and wow, I am so flattered to be asked this. Happy to help out a fellow writer, and I’m always down for rambling about writing-related stuff! I’m not sure how helpful some of this will turn out to be, but here goes.

I’m not sure if you’re asking about characterisation in general including crafting OCs or specifically about writing canon characters, and a lot of this advice will be relevant to both, but I will say this straight off: I’ve seen a fair amount of quibbling about how fanfiction won’t teach you how to worldbuild and maybe that’s true, but there is nothing like writing fanfiction for teaching yourself how to craft character voices. Especially when your source material is a movie/ TV show/ whatever definition RWBY falls under. So: rewatch! Pay attention to all the little details. What turns of phrase do they use? How do they stand, how do they move? What’s their usual emotional range? Pick a line they speak, think about what descriptors you’d use to get across their tone of voice or their emotional state if you were writing the scene in a fic. When you’re writing new dialogue for them, try to hear it in the actor’s voice (if that’s a way your imagination works; some people don’t have great auditory imaginations. Mine can be kind of hit and miss!).

Rest of this advice is going under a cut, because this got looong!

With canon characters: start from what you know, then extrapolate. Especially with characters we don’t see all that much of, boil them down to a handful of personality traits/ ways-they-present-themself first, then consider what might underly them. And in reverse: take the things we know about their status and backstory, consider what that implies about them as a person.

So, Clover: I think I boiled him down to ‘confident, friendly, professional’, and what’s underlying ‘confidence’ is really obviously his semblance: he’s never had to hesitate about anything, he always knows he can rely on himself. So in his internal monologue, he’s not going to second-guess his decisions. He calls Qrow out on deflecting compliments, so he’s good at reading people and also wants to help them; I assume that applies more broadly than just to Qrow. He’s leader of Ironwood’s flagship team of Specialists, and semblance or not I made the assumption he didn’t get there without working for it [that is an assumption, though! People less inclined to think well of Clover will make a different assumption, in-universe as well as out, and how he responds to that is also something to consider], so he’s got to be smart, dedicated, a good tactician, a good leader. And building from that: he’s smart and perceptive but we know he’s also loyal to the bitter end (very bitter); what sort of personality can we project that reconciles those two, what sort of person would respond like that? What I went with is that he trusts the system because he understands enough pieces of how/why it works that he trusts the bits he doesn’t understand are also created with the best interests of the people at heart. (Even when that’s really not true.) So then that’s a consistent philosophy-like thing that underlies a lot of how I write him: he understands the reasons for a lot of why things are how they are and then assumes the best of all the rest.

– This looks like a lot, now I’ve written it out. I thought all this out while working on the early chapters but I never put it some of it into words really. In coming up with the plot or story idea you’ll have made plenty of these assumptions and extrapolations already. Take a second look at them; take them further, find places to link them together or pit them against each other.

And remember, these are your interpretations. There’s not a right or wrong way to flesh these out. Work with semi-canon stuff like the mangas or discard it as you wish; follow fanon or argue with it or throw it out entirely. I interpreted Yang as ‘normal outgoing teenage girl in a non-homophobic world’ and wrote her as having dated people from Signal before she got to Beacon; the other day I came across a tumblr post interpreting her as “a rural lesbian”, by which standard she definitely didn’t have any romantic experience before canon; they’re both entirely plausible takes! Where we don’t know stuff for sure, slot in whatever your story needs, or whatever you think seems interesting. I settled on Clover’s backstory for Soldier, Spy mostly by going ‘ok, what’s an interesting way to contrast him with Qrow?’ And in some of my other fic ideas, he’s different.

Limited third person perspective (or first person, if you can pull if off) is the best for dropping in characterisation smoothly. Though I’m probably biased because I love it so much. Omniscient third person POV is when the narration’s impartial and uninvolved, and skips between person A’s thoughts and person B’s thoughts and pure description of what’s happening, objectively speaking; limited third person is – when the camera’s always over one person’s shoulder in a given scene. It’s less close in than first person, but we get the POV character’s thoughts and no others, we only see/notice what they notice and pay attention to, descriptions are coloured by the way the POV character thinks about the world. I don’t want to be setting you homework, but, a neat writing exercise, if you want it: pick an object, place or person, and consider how two different characters would see it differently. Write those two descriptions. For fun, pick something that at least one of the characters is going to really look down on or dislike parts of! (Qrow’s snark is so much fun.)

This is cynical, but: people lie to themselves a lot. When you put yourself into a character’s head, they’re going to be telling themself a narrative in which what they’re doing is the best thing to do and makes them a good person. (With a few exceptions, the big ones being depression- and anxiety-brain, which instead do their best to convince you you’re the worst.) Get your characters to justify themselves to you.

Goals, motivations, priorities. It feels like a massive oversight to write about how to characters and leave that one out, but honestly I can’t think of anything I can say here that hasn’t been covered better by tons of other writing advice. [Incidentally: https://www.writersdigest.com/ . Subscribe to their email newsletter, it’s free, they will try to get you to buy their how-to courses but there’s no need to, the website has all kinds of articles about the craft and details of writing and the newsletter will send you all the new ones plus curated picks of what’s already there. And also: https://springhole.net/writing/index.html . There’s some stuff specific to fanfic in there, and also general writing advice.] Just: keep it in mind.

Related to that, but a separate thing and one that I haven’t seen other writing advice talk about so much: how does the character try to achieve their goals? What are their skills and resources? And more than that, what’s their preferred approach? In the simplest terms. It’s a matter of mindset, and what options they see as available to them. So the things I would keep in mind for this are: Who’s got social skills/ is good at thinking in social terms, and who isn’t/doesn’t? (Not just interpersonally speaking. James “not really concerned about my reputation” Ironwood is a good example of a character who always thinks in terms of hard power over soft power; even when public opinion is an important strategic consideration he only thinks about it in the broadest and most simplified strokes.) Who would rather work within the system, and who prefers to do an end-run around it? (That doesn’t have to correlate with who’s actually got power, though obviously there are trends. I’m writing Clover as tending to take charge even when he officially shouldn’t because he’s more concerned with solving the problem than with rank, and that’s a case of circumventing the system, it’s one of the things he’s got in common with Qrow.) Who’s more analytical about their approach and what they’re trying to do (which means their failure mode is overthinking and decision paralysis) and who reacts with their gut instinct (which means their failure mode is getting in over their head)?

… I could talk about this one at length. There’s a whole framework I use to categorise characters in this way (I came across it in, of all things, the flavourtext of a supplement to an RPG no one’s ever heard of and it just stuck with me, and I’ve made it my own in the years since) and I could go into all sorts of detail about how it works/ what it means. But I think this is enough to be getting on with, on that topic. If you want to know more, send me another ask? But no one else talks about this thing in writing advice, it might be completely orthogonal to the writing process of anyone but me.

So! Related to the topic of characters’ skillsets, a really great tip I can’t remember where I picked up: how do you write someone who’s smarter/wittier/better at tactics than you? Spend minutes or hours turning something over in your head that the character is going to come up with in seconds. The great advantage of writing: it’s so much easier to be eloquent when you’ve got time to think. [If you had asked me this question in person you would have got ‘i don’t know?’ and then half an hour later I would have thought of half of this stuff and kicked myself. A week and change later, you’re getting the other half too :p ]

And lastly: you said you were worried about your writing getting “overly stereotypical”. And my immediate response to that was stereotypes bad, yes, but archetypes great. The difference being: stereotypes are lazy and offensive writing that let ‘membership of a social category’ stand in for ‘actual characterisation’ and if you’re asking for advice on characterisation you’re obviously too thoughtful to commit them; archetypes are pre-made sketched-out personalities that you can take as your own and flesh out into your own thing. Tropes are tools. No one ever said ‘They were roommates? Ugh, how unoriginal’. By the same token, ‘lone wolf who pretends he’s fine and doesn’t dare trust anyone no matter how much he secretly wants to’ is a fantastic trope that exists for good reason, the CRWBY used it for good reason, and when we found out Qrow’s semblance I went yes please I will have some of all that angst and then laughed at myself because when it comes to fictional characters I have A Type. I’m pretty sure I’ve never written the exact scenario ‘pushes themself way too hard and passes out, wakes up in unexpected safety and immediately condemns themself for not sticking it out longer’ before the opening of Soldier, Spy, but I know I’ve come up with plenty of things that were like it, and if they’d made it to a state of publication you’d be able to see that.

It’s like artists using references. Just because they looked up how to draw that hand and that pose doesn’t mean the final product’s not their own. There’s no reason not to start with your ideas of the character (no matter how ‘stereotypical’ they feel) or a collection of traits you’ve grabbed from other characters that seem like they’d fit – or, for OCs, an MBTI type or a roleplaying class/background combo or one of these or some other personality type you feel like you can find your way around the basics of – and just take it from there. When you start writing/outlining/daydreaming-about-ideas you’ll run into scenarios/setups you can’t copy across from but you can see what responses might come up, and that’s how the template becomes your own unique iteration of it.

… Because really all writing advice does come down to: just write. In your head or on the page, try things out, see what works, see how it goes. I’ve been doing this a long time; most of it never made it to words on a page, let alone to the internet at large. Read across genres, read things people write about themselves and how they live and think and feel, and just – go for it.

I hope this helps! Once again, I was really glad to be asked; feel free to ask me to elaborate on any of this, or about anything else you want advice about. I wish you all the best in your future writing!

#writing #my thoughts #posting into a void

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choccos-aaart · 3 years

Text

Antag interview!

>>BASE<<

Feat. the five major antagonists of the story of April and friends: Mr Skatra, Dr Sarlife Aufel, Wyra, Eyn, and Farqua

*NOTE: Definitely got spoilers for the story I’m writing, if you’re interested :P*

**NOTE: I better’ve not written anything wrong here...**

Greetings, and welcome to the "Villians Interview Meme". Whether you like it or not, you've been brought here to answer some questions about yourself. This is a recording, pausing and starting controlled by your author, so you cannot attack me. If you begin to fight with one another, you WILL be sedated/strait-jacketed. Alright now, let's start.

Would you show the viewers a shred of kindness by allowing us to know your name(s)?

Skatra: Oh…? I’m first? Alright, then… Hello, my name is Abarran. ...Known by most as Mr Skatra.

Doc: Evening! I’m Sarlife. Others call me Doc. And, I am not sharing my surname. Who’s next?

Wyra: It’s me. Hi, hello, my name’s Wyra. I’m Sarlife’s action partner. I keep a look out for her, too.

Eyn: I’m Eyn, and I’m Abarran’s kid.

Farqua: Suppose they left the best for last, huh! Hi! The name’s Farqua Pells!

Are you male or female?

Skatra: I’m male.

Doc: I don’t conform. Next,

Wyra: I am female!

Eyn: Usually people get me all wrong, but I’m a girl. Don’t blame ‘em though…

Farqua: And I’m a man, haha!

How old are you in human years?

Skatra: Forty-nine. Almost fifty... *sigh*

Doc: I’ve existed for 77 years, but my AI depicts me as, I dunno, somewhere in my 30s? 40s? Either way, I’m a working adult.

Farqua: So ya let us know your age but y’ain’t givin’ off your last name? For real?

Doc: It’s embarrassing. Wyra, it’s your turn.

Wyra: My AI depicts me as about the same as Doc! But I could be younger. I was built in year X701 which was about 65 years ago.

Eyn: I’m 16. Well, at least I’m programmed to be 16. I was actually built six years ago. What about you, Farqua? Gonna bet you’re like programmed to be 10, haha.

Farqua: Shut up. Uhh, I’m in my 30s... In my programmin’, of course. Almost reachin’ my 50 years milestone in real time, though!

What exactly are you?

Skatra: Excuse me… what? If you’re asking whether I’m human or not, I’m human.

Doc; Yeah, a pathetic one.

Skatra: Would you shut up?! …By the way, the rest of them are androids.

Doc: You really had to answer for us, didn’t you?

Skatra: It saves time.

Do you have any powers?

Skatra: No… Doctor?

Doc: Well, a lot of medical tools can be transformed out of my arm. And I’ve built myself a little machine that can automatically mix different medicines and whatnot.

Wyra: Well, I’ve learned to use my power source abilities for things that aren’t just powering things. Something I can do is produce power from both my star-panels and my natural gas source, which I think is cool.

Eyn: Alright. Uh… My arm’s literally a toolbox. No, literally, it can like, shoot a bunch of tools out of it. Well, those tools really are just these cool things that unfold from these tiny boxes. Weird science stuff I don’t wanna explain. Also, my arm used to be for weapons n’ stuff. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I was originally built to commit some revenge robbery or something, so I’m packed with a whole bunch of stealth n’ robbery stuff like, y’know. Too lazy to list it all down, though…

Farqua: Damnit Eyn, now you’re makin’ me feel pathetic!

Eyn: Well, boo-hoo.

Farqua: So, uhh… ‘s just my arm can transform into just a whole buncha garden n’ landscapin’ tools. That’s it, really.

Skatra: If it makes you happy, that’s every slasher film writer’s dream.

Farqua: Well, ain’t that nice!

Who is your archrival, and what do you hate about them? Do they have powers?

Skatra: It’s you, Doctor, Wyra, and all your affiliates!

Wyra: Yeah, whatever.

Doc: Ah yes, I greatly apologise for ruining your life to KEEP THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT SAFE!

Farqua: Well Doc, y’ain’t gonna deny that almost everyone hates your way of doin’ it, are ya? And April fights for ‘em, too.

Doc: YOU DON’T NEED TO BE INVOLVED, FARQUA!

Farqua: Shiieeeet… Calm ya farm. ...Wait, that doesn’t work in my accent.

Skatra: And also, that blasted April! I hate that child! She has and is still playing a big part of tearing my life to pieces, as if it wasn’t unbearable enough!

Farqua: Goddamn! Now everyone’s bein’ real overdramatic!

Eyn: So, uh, April’s pretty much my rival, too. And we always keep running into each other. It’s almost like some stupid rival logic you see in comics and TV and stuff.

Farqua: Ha! Imagine havin’ that happen to ya? Haha!

Eyn: … And who’s your rival, Farqua? Aren’t you just the henchman-turned-hostage?

Farqua: Shut up.

Eyn: Thought so.

Farqua: But as hostage I kept bickerin’ with Matro. Does that count?

Eyn: That’s fair. …Wait. I forgot to mention, April doesn’t really have powers. When we thought we were gonna be friends when we met the first time, I sorta turned her old stick into a weapon. Yeah. Things really backfired on me.

Do you rule over any sort of land, country, county?

Skatra: I could never rule something like that…

Doc: Oh no; I’ve got no knowledge or interest in being a ruler. I’m just a doctor.

Wyra: I can’t either, since I once accidentally caused a power outage in my old city!

Doc: And though the answer’s pretty obvious already, what about you, Eyn? Do you rule a population of some sort?

Eyn: Nah. It doesn’t even seem cool.

Farqua: Me neither. Huh! Weird that none of us are that typa antagonist?

Skatra: Now that you say it… I agree.

Why are you considered "the bad guy"?

Skatra: Well… I’ll admit, my goal is to take probably the most important thing that the building’s got, and yes, many robots were taken advantage of in the process.

Doc: And people were hurt. And you’ve committed murder before – oho, blood’s on your hands.

Skatra: DOCTOR! I thought our therapy session was meant to be confidential!

Doc: Oops, my bad.

Skatra: And it looks like we’ve got a reason why Doctor’s a part of this interview. Any more you want to say about yourself?

Doc: Ah… Uh… I forced a lot of innocents into getting involved and even fight in this mess of a situation. And yes, without their consent. Or their families’ consent. And by doing that, their lives were all at stake. Yeah, I regret it. Fly me to skuelk.

Wyra: I’m Doc’s action partner and out of the two of us, I think I’ve actively hurt April the most. And April’s still a little kid! That’s definitely given me a bad look!

Eyn: Eh, I just help Dad with stuff. And it really looks like I don’t care much about hurting people. That’s it, really. And I guess I also run into April the most, and a lot of the story’s from her perspective, so I guess I’m really put under a bad light.

Farqua: Same story! I’m one of Skatra’s guys! Except I’M THE ONLY ONE THAT GOT CAPTURED BY APRIL N’ FRIENDS AND IT’S SO FUCKIN’ EMBARRASSIN’.

Do you consider yourself purely evil?

Skatra: No! Who would?!

Wyra: Not me! I’ve just been called sadistic!

Doc: Let’s be completely real. Nobody really considers themselves evil. All of us just want to do what we feel like is right.

Eyn: Yeah, I don’t think I’m doing anything evil. I guess it’s sometimes I’m not knowing the difference between not giving a shit what everyone thinks about me versus doing what everyone agrees is morally wrong.

Farqua: Whoa! Ya got a lot of wisdom for a kid!

Skatra: And where do you think she got that from, hm?

Farqua: Stop lyin’ to yourself, she ain’t your biological daughter.

Skatra: Shut up.

What do you think of the others in the quiz room?

Skatra: Well first off, Eyn’s my daughter, the only family member I’m happy talking to, and I love her a lot. Doctor’s a bit… I don’t know. From my experience, they’ve been a very caring and genuine person at first. Wyra’s a bit of an oddball. I still think she’s a bit scary to approach. Those two are definitely people you wouldn’t want as an enemy, but then again, here I am. And that leaves Farqua, who’s probably just as competent as he is annoying. What about you, Doctor?

Farqua: WHA-

Doc: Ehrm, thanks for acknowledging that about me. Anyways, as much as I hate what you’re doing, Abarran, and mind me, I’m being as honest as I can, you’re just someone who needs help. It honestly hurts to watch you and what you’re doing. Wyra is a close friend of mine! We’re completely different, but it’s as if she completely understands me. And Farqua, you’re… You’re alright, I guess. Also, I’ve been hoping for you to just stop trying to be my “rival” ever since you read that aphorism, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” And Eyn, I can tell you’re hiding behind a façade; just reveal that you dress and act the way you do because you’re a fan of the Axel Duiti series. To me, you’re as easy to read as a children’s book.

Eyn: Hey! I mean… Never mind. Uh… My dad’s like the only guy that’s got my back. He’s cool. Dr Sarlife’s like, I dunno, a bit scary to talk to. Also, what’s up with the bunny ears?

Doc: That’s none of your… Alright, to tell you the truth, I worked at a children’s hospital. Let’s not get off topic, now. What are your thoughts on Wyra and Farqua?

Eyn: Oh. Uh… Wyra’s so hyper, it’s exhausting. But, I think we can get along? I dunno… I hope we do. And Farqua’s pretty cool. We get along pretty well. But cut off the “howdy” unless you’re gonna say that to everyone. That’s all.

Wyra: From what I know so far, I know I get along with Sarlife the best! Skatra’s, I dunno. All I know about him is through what Sarlife told me, and I think he’s a bit of a prick that could do with some fixing up. Maybe. I think Eyn’s cool! I think I’ve seen the Axel Duiti series on telly before, and I think that’s a good way to start talking! And now, Farqua. Um… Definitely a bit weird. But I find that endearing!

Farqua: That’s… That’s it? ‘Right, guess it’s my turn, then! First off, Doc, Wyra n’ Skatra, you’re all assholes for doin’ all the stuff you’re doin’ and for all the stuff ya said ‘bout me. And Eyn, you can still look like a badass and be open ‘bout all your apparently “less cool” self. Look at me? I look all cute n’ cuddly n’ sweet, but I’m pretty open ‘bout my reckless n’ aggressive nature n’ stuff, ya get?

Eyn: Wow… Didn’t expect a pep-talk but okay, I’ll take that.

Farqua: No prob, kiddo!

On a rate of one to ten, how powerful do you think the villain next to you is?

Skatra: Oh God, I hate rating like this. Uh… Doctor’s probably a 7.

Doc: …That’s fair; I’ll take it. I was going to say 7 for you. Wyra’s close to an 8.

Wyra: No offence Sarlife, but I reckon you’re a 6, for me.

Doc: None taken.

Wyra: Eyn’s a 9 for me. I’ve seen her with April and it’s not pretty.

Eyn: Wyra’s probably a, I dunno, 7…? Farqua’s 1.

Farqua: WHAT?!

Eyn: But with your limbs, you’re, I dunno, 8. You’re pretty strong and got a bunch of tools and stuff.

Farqua: Well, Eyn, I’m givin’ you an 8! Remember, this’s all ‘bout perspective.

Now, how powerful do you consider yourself to be?

Skatra: 4… 5…? I can’t get over it.

Doc: 6 or a 7. I don’t think I can give myself anything else after that last question.

Wyra: Tough. Probably 7? Or 8.

Eyn: 8.

Farqua: God, some of y’all don’t think that high of yourselves, huh! I’m givin’ myself a 9!

Do you have an evil laugh?

Skatra: No, that’s stupid.

Doc: Can we all agree on this and move on?

Eyn: Yeah.

Wyra: Done and done!

Farqua: You guys are borin’ as hell y’know. I sorta do have one actually! But I guess tha’s ‘cause Matro keeps tellin’ me I’m just mean-spirited. And sadistic too, but it ain’t like that!

Do ya fear death?

Skatra: Er… I’ll pass on this one…

Doc: Alright. No, I don’t, honestly.

Wyra: I agree! I don’t really care. I’ve kind of experienced it, before.

Eyn: Well, I do. I’ve still got things I wanna get outta the way and I don’t wanna miss ‘em.

Farqua: Do I fear death? Well, I guess I do! I’ve seen it countless times ‘cause I’ve been to every burial held at the buildin’ and I see everybody all heartbroken n’ stuff. Makes me worry, y’know, ‘bout all the people who care ‘bout me n’ all.

Docc: Well, to be fair, we do all have the choice to live for as long as we want, as long as we’re not seriously damaged to the point beyond repair. Well, except for Abarran, here. He’s human and we’re all bound to outlive him.

Skatra: That’s not very nice.

What's your goal, exactly? Or are you just evil for the heck of it?

Skatra: It’s quite basic, really. So, to put it simply, nearly fifty years of hard work’s gone down the drain. And to make up for all of it, I felt the need to do something big. So, my goal is to take the proclo machine and reveal it to the world as something of mine. Yes, I know I’ll be living a lie, but I just want to make an impact of some sort that’ll change the world, whether it be for the better or for the worse, and once the whole world hates me, I’ll just end it all there.

Doc: Alright… Well, I just want to keep this building, you know, ALIVE. I care about everyone and everything that has to do with this building, and I’ll do anything if it means this building lives on. And that’s it! I mean it literally!

Wyra: Everything I know about this situation is through Sarlife, really. She told me everything, and when I say “anything,” I mean it. I care about this building, a lot, too! ...Eyn? What about you? Let me guess: you just want to make your dad proud of you, right?

Eyn: That’s one of them. But also, there was this one guy that commissioned me, he gave me a mission, and I failed it. Big time. Then I got left on the shelf for years, he commissioned another robot n’ stuff, and once that was done, I was sold somewhere to do some more stuff that I didn’t do so well at either, and then I was sold again. I didn’t really feel like I had anything good to do in this world, so that sucked. And then Dad picked me up from the markets and now I’m making sure I don’t fail at anything, anymore.

Farqua: … This is awkward… I ain’t got much of a motive… I just, I dunno, work for the guy- I mean Skatra…

Doc: THAT’S BECAUSE HE MANAGED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR GOAL SYSTEM, YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON!!

Farqua: Goddamn! Ya gotta calm down! And I thought I was aggressive!

Do you have henchmen/a henchman?

Skatra: A lot of robots, yes, I do.

Doc: ROBOTS WHO WERE MY FRIENDS THAT YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF, THAT’S WHO!

Wyra: They were my friends, too, you know!

Skatra: You know, you’ll both eventually end up working for me, sooner or later.

Doc: I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.

Wyra: We’ve gathered a lot of the non-robotic inhabitants of the building, anyway, to help get rid of you! And Eyn, too!

Skatra: Ooh, I’m soo scared.

Eyn: … Okay so, I work with my dad, so all those robots- I mean Dr Sarlife and Wyra’s friends are sorta my henchmen, too. Wow, that makes me sound really villainous, haha…

Farqua: So! It’s my turn, now, ain’t it? WELL, JOKES ON Y’ALL, I AM A HENCHMAN!

What do you drive?

Skatra: My little car, with a trailer attached. How do you think I got to the building?

Doc: I drive a scooter. It’s very easy to get around which is great!

Wyra: I’m not very good at driving. But, I have had a go on the hover bikes which are fun!

Eyn: I sorta know how to drive Dad’s car, but I know the anatomy n’ whatnot better than I can drive.

Farqua: Goddamnit, EYN can drive, too?! Well…! Matro said he’d teach me to drive the train later on.

Doc: What?

Wyra: You and Matro are all buddy-buddy, now?

Farqua: Sorta!

Doc: Well…. That’s surprising…

Wyra: Since when?

Farqua: Huh. You’re getting’ a little jealous now I’m spedin’ a lot of my time with your ol’ pal, ain’t ya?

What do you do when you aren't trying to do whatever you're trying to achieve?

Skatra: What do I do… Well, aside from moping in my apartment all day, I like to build machines and do some arthropod photography.

Doc: For me, you’d find me obviously doing my work. During my breaks, I take walks all around the building, and occasionally, I’d draw over my papers. I’m not a very skilled artist, though…

Wyra: I like to watch some telly! And just travel around the building while I’m not doing my work, of course!

Eyn: So, as Dr Sarlife said, you probably already know I’m a huge fan of the Axel Duiti series, so I re-watch the show, re-read the comics, and all that stuff. I also like playing bass guitar and helping Dad with building and stuff. That’s it, really.

Farqua: First off, I’m a gardener and a landscaper, so catch me up on the rooftop gardens doin’ my thing. When I ain’t doin’ all that, you’ll find me in the library reading some books about, I dunno, random stuff.

Were you ever a double-crosser (pretended to be on the opposite team, then stabbed them in the back)?

Skatra: Well, I—

Doc: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID TO ME!

Skatra: Doctor, there is no need to yell! Good God!

Doc: You can’t deny that it’s true, though. For me, I would never do that.

Wyra: Never done it! If anything, I like being honest.

Eyn: Well, I’ve tried doing that. It didn’t go very well… Farqua, your turn.

Farqua: Oh yeah. Mine’s damn interestin’, alright. ‘Cause if April and friends DIDN’T get to me first, I woulda done exactly that!

Skatra: I’m pretty sure I heard them say they thought you were up to something beforehand, so…

Farqua: Wh… How do you even hear this stuff?

Skatra: Your point of view was connected to my computers, why?

Farqua: …OKAY. I FORGOT. SORRY.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how often do you lie? *gives them truth serum*

Skatra: Oh God… 8

Doc: 3. Lying isn’t that big a thing for both robots and doctors, and then there’s me.

Wyra: 4. Like I said, I like to be truthful. Just saying.

Eyn: 5. I’m pretty honest.

Farqua: 6-ish.

Skatra: … You’re joking! I lie the most out of all of us?

Farqua: Well, y’gotta face it. You’re the only human here.

What color is your: hair?

Skatra: Dark green. ...For some reason.

Doc: It’s some sort of brown.

Wyra: A bit reddish-brown. Think of Sarlife’s favourite pants.

Doc: ...

Eyn: I wish I had hair…

Farqua: Ain’t that also why you wear a hat?

Eyn: I guess…

Farqua: Anyways, I ain’t got no hair too, ‘cause my design’s just like that, y’know! Gotta admit, I still pull off a cute look, huh!

Eyes?

Skatra: Dark, dark brown.

Doc: My irises are generally jet black and my sclerae are white. When I’m under the influence of an energy chip, my sclerae turn a blueish colour.

Farqua: “SCELRAE, SCELRAE,” look, ya don’t gotta go all textbook talk mode on us.

Doc: ...You could’ve at least been a little bit nicer...

Eyn: Uh… My eyes are black. Dad says I’m not allowed to have effect chips yet, so my whites are always white.

Farqua: For most of the story, I’m not on anything so you’d see my eyes are just like Eyn’s. But a lot of the time, when I’m not working, you’d catch the white bits of my eyes turned bright yellow! Forgot which chip it was but I set up a whole stash months ago!

Wyra: Um… I’ve got no irises!

Skin?

Skatra: Some sort of darkish beige.

Doc: I don’t really have skin, but I’m painted grey.

Wyra: Also painted grey.

Eyn: My paints are a bit weird. A lot of my body’s green, some areas are painted cream, my forearms and below the knees are painted brown, and my face is grey. Sorry if it’s a lot.

Farqua: I’m painted mostly red with some super light yellow in some places. I’ve got some small bits that’re this dark purply brown, too. And my upper arms, whatcha call it, are—

Doc: Your brac-

Farqua: WOULD YA— Doc, don’t do that. …Anyways, my whatchamacallits ain’t really painted at all.

Whats your uniform/favorite outfit?

Skatra: Since it’s winter, I’ve been wearing my favourite turtleneck at lot, recently. I like to pair it with my long coat.

Doc: My only outfit is my doctors’ uniform. It’d be kind of strange to see me wear anything else.

Wyra: I’ve got my work uniform. That’s it, really.

Eyn: Right now, I’m wearing an outfit based off Axel Duiti. He’s an outlaw in the old Earthian west.

Farqua: I AIN’T WEARIN’ NO CLOTHES, HAHA! And that’s ‘cause my designers made sure I was too good for ‘em.

Have you ever gone mad?

Skatra: Mad…? As in angry or…

Doc: I think they mean gone totally mental. As in you’ve lost your mind.

Skatra: Oh. Yes, I did. When, I’m not going to mention any names here, an ex-friend of mine put my years-worth of effort down the drain back in… X761, I think? What about you, Doctor?

Doc: Ah, I remember that one time… That one time Eyn nearly got me to fall under your control... And then, after that, you took all the little nurses and doctors that worked with me as prisoners... Hm, and it was a threat, too! All so I wouldn’t publicise your dastardly plan!

Skatra: Good God, you didn’t need to go into that much detail!

Doc: Anywho, what about you, Wyra? Anything similar?

Wyra: I don’t recall, really. Eyn?

Eyn: Nope.

Doc: Really? Even after everything that’s happened to you?

Eyn: Nope. And I hope it doesn’t happen to me. That’d be embarrassing.

Farqua: I ain’t had that happen to me, either! Guess that’s just a side effect of being old, huh!

Wyra: Haha!

Skatra: Excuse me?!

Doc: Farqua, you, Wyra and I were ALL programmed to behave the same age– WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN SAY THAT TO ME?!

Farqua: Well, just like I said to Matro, “Stress. It ages ya.”

Doc: It doesn’t. …Alright, it does! But that doesn’t mean you can say what you just said!

Wyra: Wait... I’m stressed...?

If so, did you enjoy it?

Skatra: No! Of course, not!

Doc: If anyone had half a brain, even they’d know not to enjoy something like that!

Skatra: You don’t even have an organic brain and you, too, know not to enjoy something like that.

Doc: … Your daughter is right here.

Skatra: OH MY GOD, I’m so sorry!

Eyn: It’s okay, Dad.

Have any family?

Skatra: I do, back at the city. I haven’t spoken with them in almost thirty years. Eyn is the only closest family I’ve got.

Eyn: Yeah, I’ve just got him, too.

Doc: Uh, me? I can’t say. I guess if you count my model’s predecessors and successors. It makes sense.

Farqua: Same story as Doc, I guess.

Wyra: Same’s too!

Have you ever been in love? If you have, do they love you back?

Skatra: A few times I thought I did, actually. Once in high school, twice in university, and after, I realised love wasn’t anything of my interest. I’m not complaining, though.

Wyra: Definitely! I been in love before!

Skatra: Robots can… Do that...?

Wyra: Um, yeah?

Doc: I haven’t, really. Also, this might be related, but I’ve done so a few times ever since I created the lust chip, and experimented with myself.

Eyn: Lust chip…? The heck?

Farqua: Woo-hoo, Doc, who were they?

Doc: In my first trial, it was my human anatomy model, and eventually my human skeleton model.

Farqua: … What – ya didn’t go head-over-heels with anyone alive?

Doc: Of course not! Why would I experiment with those chips around people?!

Farqua: Oh. Well, I ain’t fallen in love yet. Maybe ‘cause I’ve yet to get the hots for anyone ‘round here. Even with the lust chip! Surprisin, huh! …Y’know, since I gotta admit, I do like to look a lil cuter, don’t I?

Eyn: Uh… Well, there’s this uvra girl...

Farqua: …

Doc: …

Wyra: ...

Skatra: Eyn, you’ve fallen in love?!

Can you cook?

Skatra: Well, yes! I have to eat to survive. It’s a human thing.

Doc: I’ve tried teaching myself to. It’s not that difficult, actually.

Wyra: I can, a bit! I’m not very skilled though, and people have just told me to just stick to working the gas, rather than actually working with the gas.

Eyn: Dad’s been teaching me some. He says I’m a natural, haha.

Farqua: Well, I sorta do. I ain’t that great at it, though. Shucks, I gotta up my cookin’ game!

Do you despise the Earth?

Skatra: Not really. Earth is history after all, so why should I care so much?

Farqua: Some people hate stuff from the past, y’know,

Skatra: That’s fair.

Doc: Well, despite everything, I’m pretty indifferent.

Wyra: Earth’s pretty cool if you ask me. Shame I can’t actually see it for myself, though.

Eyn: I don’t know much about Earth. But Axel lives in that place, so that’s cool.

Farqua: I’m all about Earth! There ain’t nothin else I’ve been readin’ about lately!

What's your pet peeve?

Skatra: When anyone leaves anything personal unlocked. Imagine seeing a bag or a house’s door left open. How do people even do that? I remember back in high school nobody would lock their lockers unless they actually had to. It bothered me so much to the point where I locked one of my classmates’. That was also the time I made my first enemy. Well, not really; the person barely knew me! But they swore they’d kill me.

Doc: The fact that engineers aren’t being as creative with android antennae anymore! Are they not accepting creatives into the industry anymore or something? ...No offence, Farqua.

Farqua: Yeah, fine. Whatever.

Wyra: I think my pet peeve is when people are super nitpicky and pick out really small and meaningless details, as if they’re gonna do something big. Like, what’s the point?

Eyn: When people talk over TV shows and movies and stuff. Why would you even do that?

Farqua: Hm… I think I hate when people run over plants. Y’know, like the ones that ain’t grass n’ all that. They’re alive, too, y’know! And they especially don’t get stepped on like that!

What kind of music to you like?

Skatra: I’ve enjoyed all forms of jazz. I think big band’s my favourite.

Doc: This might be surprising, but I actually prefer genres like breakbeat. Or, if I want to relax, I’ll listen to space ambiance.

Wyra: Happy hardcore, hardstyle, handsup - anything that’s energising, really!

Eyn: Rock n’ roll and blues are my favourites. Maybe some ska-punk, too. I feel like a total badass when listening to them.

Farqua: I love some good punk rock, or maybe even add somethin’ like some folkier flavour to songs like those!

What's your favorite food?

Skatra: Tiramisu. I don’t have it often, but I guess that’s why it’s my favourite.

Doc: ...I’m a robot. But I’ve always wanted to try dark chocolate.

Wyra: Me too! I don’t know what they taste like, but maybe cheese and nachos will do it for me!

Eyn: Dad’s always told me about different foods, but I think he’s described ramen noodles the best.

Farqua: I been told that honey-lemon chicken tastes great! I really wanna taste that!

Are you bored, want to kill me, satisfied with this quiz, etc.?

Skatra: I’ve been enjoying it a bit, actually.

Doc: Me too. I was afraid I’d get bored. ...Sorry.

Wyra: I enjoyed it! It was a lot of questions to get through though, but I’m still here!

Eyn: Eh, it was cool, I guess…

Farqua: I ain’t gonna kill ya, I promise! ...I mean, it was good!

Who's your favorite villain other than yourself?

Skatra: I don’t know. Why would I have a favourite villain? Or if you’re talking about the people in this group, I guess, it’s Eyn. She’s my daughter, after all.

Doc: Wyra’s one of my closest friends. Of course, I’d pick her.

Wyra: Right back at you, Sarlife!

Eyn: I guess, I’ve just got my dad. Or, if you meant it that way, I really like one named Taft Grater. He’s one of the villains of the Axel Duiti series. He’s really well written.

Farqua: Huh! This is a tough one! I dunno, maybe Wyra.

Do you think you're gonna die in your story?

Skatra: I don’t know. Like everyone else, I hope not, but I’ll just take what’s thrown at me.

Doc: Let’s hope I don’t!

Wyra: I don’t think I’ll die!

Eyn: I hope not, too.

Farqua: WELL, I BETTER NOT!!!

Well, I have to go, and I'm sure you have a lot of evil scheming to do. Peace out! (Or should I say "destruction out!" in your cases?) For your creators, go tag someone! Please, it won't take long!

Me lol: (Sorry! :’D)

Anything to add now that I'm done rambling?

Me lol: Not really, actually! but it was fun :D

Look! Please do it if you have villains, and credit me!

Please spread the word!

(I don't have much time, I have a timed session, as I'm using some random wifi server, so I'll add more later!)

#Chocco's OCs #Mr Skatra #Dr Aufel #Wyra Kappel #Eyn Duiti #Farqua Pells #Project: Proclo #Chocco does memes #Chocco's writing #Chocco's scripts #Chocco's info dumps #Dr Sarlife Aufel #Doc / Sarlife #Eyn Duiti Skatra

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marithlizard · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on RWBY v7 finale, “The Enemy of Trust”

Okay, finale, it's you and me. I've heard some eyebrow-raising things. Let's see what you've got.

Neo vs JNRO! My money's on umbrella girl, even at four to one.

Oscar's really getting along with this team. I won't be surprised if sometime next volume they officially invite him to be the P(ine) in the reborn JNPR.

Yep, short and sweet. She had a bit of fun there, and she was never in any danger.

I'm really appreciating the option to watch the fights at half-speed on the RT site and actually catch some of the clever moves.

Cinder's fighting style is quite different here than it was in all previous volumes. Remember the bow, the telekinetically controlled black glass shards, the Maiden fire and the giant sword? Right now she's leaping about acrobatically in melee with two short swords. If the face was different everyone would take this as an entirely new character. I get that it's cool to try new things, writers, but I miss the consistency.

So she specifically despises the privileged elite of Atlas. Can't blame her for that.

Okay, consistency or not I have to admit the aerial combat is visually fantastic. Winter's gryphon and Penny charging Cinder from opposite sides, followed by fire and ice colliding, wow.

Background music also doing its usual stellar job.

Penny says "I...disagree" in exactly the same tone of voice Adam used, and for exactly the opposite reason. That's a cool parallel and I'm sure it was intentional.

Oscar lagging behind out of breath. He's smaller and younger and is years behind everyone except Jaune on training, it makes sense. Also probably not using Aura to recharge stamina like the others.

Oooh, I knew it wasn't Nora instantly by the body language. Neo moves very distinctively, it's great.

And she's had lots of practice in imitating the person you love at the right instant to make you hesitate. Poor Ren.

You don't normally yell "Drop your weapons!" and simultaneously open fire unless you are intending to kill rather than capture. I guess the soldiers are assuming that Huntsmen will survive any kind of damage a normal person can dish out. Which is...not a safe assumption for Oscar I don't think. Ugh Ironwood your stormtroopers are dumb.

Ren is crying oh no

Annnnd Neo just toddles off with the lamp. I love that short officer with short ponytail look on her.

FRIA WAKES

and she is AWESOME

(Her eyes are the same blue as Ironwood's, it does make you wonder. We never learned her last name. )

Ren with an understandable lack of perspective. He's thought of Huntsmen as the pinnacle of combat badassery all his life, when really it's just a benchmark of competence along the path. I suspect there aren't many people alive who could defeat Neo, outnumbered or not, and most of the people who can are god-tier.

Maria's kept a low profile all volume because she has no patience for the high-level strategy and arguments and politics, she sure as hell isn't going to run grunt missions, and she'd last ten minutes in a room with the General before smacking him in the knees or possibly the nuts. But she was ready to charge in with the logistical support the instant that arrest order went out on the net. I just...love her. She is the best.

"I was supposed to protect the power of the Maiden until I was ready. I worry I may have lost track of time...but you can tell James that I'm ready, now." People were worried that Ironwood was holding Fria prisoner, forcing her into a sacrificial death. But the way she says that makes it very clear that she wasn't pressured. He specifically told her when you're ready. And he waited as long as he could.

Ironwood apologizing to Winter with so much regret in his voice. Look, you may hate him, but the writers don't, that's abundantly clear. And I don't either. This is a classical Greek-style tragedy unfolding before us, a good person being destroyed as their inherent fatal flaw meets the worst possible circumstances for it.

Oscar descending in the elevator, standing just like Ozpin. That is an eerie sight. He's going to imitate Oz as much as he can because Ironwood has been asking for Oz all along. ...and it's going to backfire as a strategy, isn't it.

"And....whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with?" "Still just me." But you're leaning on your cane as you walk just like Ozpin did.

Someone suggested applying Blake's "embodiment of a word" idea to all the characters, and the word I thought of at first for Oscar was innocence....but it's not, is it. Oscar is the embodiment of sincerity. He means every word of his offer to reconcile. How could anyone resist?

...Apparently Ironwood can. And I see it, I do. If this is a chess game, then protecting the king - the relics - is ultimately the only thing that matters. All the other pieces are expendable. Oz and Oscar and Ruby represent the opposite approach: every piece matters, and what's most important is not to win the game but to preserve the board, to keep it all going.

(If they'd told Ironwood all the way back in ch2 that as far as they know Salem can't be killed, would he have adjusted his perspective? I believe he would have, but not all the way. There's a fundamental difference in mindset. Lois Bujold talked in one of her books (Brothers in Arms I think) about how people are drawn to the romance of the hard choices. If you've believed all your life that hardship and painful sacrifice are necessary and inevitable, you get proudly attached to them in a way, and you tend to be skeptical, at best, of anyone who claims they can be avoided. I've been thinking about that a lot this volume.)

Uh.

WHAT.

You were having an argument, a heated but peaceful one. Why would you suddenly draw your weapon and shoot a teenager off the edge of a cliff? One who was offering no physical threat to you at all and who you could certainly have overpowered and arrested? You arrested Watts, who was trying to kill you, nearly destroyed your kingdom, and made you nearly tear your own arm off. Why would you murder Oscar?

You wouldn't. This makes no sense, just like Clover and Qrow fighting each other instead of teaming up against Tyrian makes no sense. I was hoping there'd be context in this case but there just isn't. The RWBY writers wanted dramatic scenes here and they didn't think the fans would care about anything else as long as it looked cool.

And this is new in v7, IMO. While I've certainly had some quibbles with the writing in past volumes, I don't remember anything remotely like this. Nothing so huge that I can't handwave or rationalize or say that it's a minor story element. I'm a Watsonian, not a Doylist; I hate having to say that something is just plain bad writing.

Ugh. Okay. Moving on.

That's a fast-regrowing Grimm arm.

I was expecting Penny to say "No, it's not me, it's supposed to be Winter," but she's really hesitating. After the conversations they've had she's not sure the power should go to Winter. There's nothing personal about it, no ambition. Penny has been acting exactly as a Maiden should from the moment Fria first saw her, her every instinct to protect and help.

Uh, y'know, Winter, you could SHOOT CINDER during the many seconds she's writhing in helpless agony there. You don't have to stand there and wait till she's ready to fight again. Sigh.

That said, the sequence of Oscar falling, power building in him and Penny, the silver eyes etc is stunning.

(that little twirl Oscar does, like a shoujo magical girl. cute)

holy carp there are still ten minutes left.

I don't think you're correct about fear being the common denominator, Oz, but I'll shut up and enjoy your very fine speech.

Winter makes her choice...and she's not surprised that Penny chooses differently. Opposed to the heroes or not, I do think it's a good thing for her to stay at Ironwood's side. Somebody sane needs to be ready to take over there sooner or later.

Penny getting support from Ruby and Weiss, yay.

This can't be easy for Pietro. He's loyally helped Ironwood for decades, and he's not exactly in good shape to live the outlaw life.

Cinder, continuing to piss off her only ally. Despite being the antagonist in a boss fight she felt...weirdly irrelevant at the end of it. So much so that she just quietly left when no one was looking.

"It's gone." Well, now that's an interestingly vague way to put things, Winter. Are you protecting Penny? Withholding information from your boss is, as we've seen, not something he reacts well to.

Watts has an implausibly nice cell with a beautiful view.

I think that's a quarry Oscar has fallen into, or perhaps the outskirts of a mine. He and Oz have a LOT to talk about and I would really love to actually see the conversation next volume, writers. For a change.

ooooookay yep that's a flying murder behemoth whale. I was expecting to be reminded of FFX's Sin, but it's got a vibe more like the whale from Pinocchio. My vote for a name is therefore Monstro.

Someone's dressed to impress her ex.

....Hmmmmm. You know, I didn't see an actual army of flying monkeys. Is there one? Is it inside the whale, or in that black cloud? Or does Salem have something else in mind?

"Fear" does seem like a song from Oz's point of view, but I don't feel it expresses his - or their - personality. It's not the image song I'm still waiting for. But then, quite a few characters still haven't gotten theirs.

Well. I'm on board for volume 8, hopeful the writers will make better choices, and curious to see how we're going to START a volume with an ultimate boss encounter. That's not a thing I've seen a story do before.

#rwby #spoilers #v7 spoilers

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strawberryybird · 4 years

Note

So whats your favorite thing about each of your fe3h favs? Anything you could just go on a long rant about for any of them? or interactions between them that you wish had happened or wanted to happen.

Waking up in the morning and going through all of the drunk blogging and “-thank-u-for-weathering-my-deep-need-to-be-liked-and-given-attention-off-main-I-guess” if this isn’t a whole mood on its own I don’t know what is. Anyways it sounds like you had fun and it was definetly fun reading everything. I hope you are feeling okay the day after everything. And to tack on a random question which fe3h character would you want to get drunk with if it was just the two of you?

Hi Hello!! thank u for enjoying my drunk blogging !!! and for the asks!!! (and the lovely comments on my fics actually hi there ur wonderful!!!) i’m currently cursing the damage i’ve done to my sleep schedule and suffering under my (truly deserved) hangover lmao ;p apologies u don’t get drunk me, only uncaffeinated hangover me, but we talk to the same degree and make the same spelling errors lol

ah yes.. im a fountain of moods (all of u still with me here are saints hhhh)

ok content time:

the second one first: i absolutely want to get drunk with ferdinand von aegir. the man’s a hop, skip and a vodka shot away from a mess. i love him. he’d be full of conversation and would buy the rounds every time as a true nobleman should !! he’d probably be really good at instigating drinking games but horrible at playing them.. i love party gay ferdie von aegir.

i’m going to LIMIT the faves i list because truly i love them all very much but i have to at least pretend i have some restraint and i don’t want to make this even More of a wall of text it’s going to become . SO

edit: ok i started writing this at like. half ten pm. when the fuck did it become monday.

edit edit: Disclaimer time: these are my conclusions and my conclusions alone. I’m not saying I’m objectively right or correct. I’m very much approaching this from an English Lit-ish point of view because that’s just how I look at a lot of media. I’m not asserting my opinions or conclusions as the only viable to interpret this media, and if anything I say offends you then I am sorry, it was not my intention but I acknowledge that I have hurt you. This is not the exhaustive list of my thoughts on the whole thing, there’s a lot more depth and detail I didn’t go in to.

My favourite thing about Edelgard is the Everything, but notably I really love her proud nature and how in VW it quite directly gets her *spoilered*, and in CF it’s integral to her success (bc it’s her own rigidity within herself that keeps her standing i think) and I Like Tragic Characters (and it’s very elinor dashwood). because it’s one of the qualities that can throw her character into a villainous light & it’s really interesting !! but at the same time.. it’s not quite ‘pride’ purely, and it’s kinda the wrong word. it’s some mixture of determined/stubbon, anger, self-reliance, and that really hard veneer of personality u develop when you’re around people who aren’t healthy for you to be around, and the very very critical need to be right about the choices you made because the weight of the consequences would kinda ruin you if you weren’t. (the dean winchester effect huh) and wrap that up together with a big scoop of ‘i believe my way is right’ (’and my way Has to be right’) and then u get a lot of what i LOVE about Edelgard’s character

My favourite thing about Dorothea is really how she was the character that Hated the war. genuinely the contrast between white clouds dorothea & timeskip dorothea Breaks My Heart EVery Time I See Her !!!!! that and Spoilers!!! (her last words in AM unrecruited is edelgards name and i literally had to stop and cry about it for five minutes.) she’s one of the characters that post-war doesn’t have a Massive political stake in the war - like there’s her anger towards the current class system (another reason i bloody love her PLEASE give me angry feminine characters) but i think it’s her bonds with edie (or byleth&whoever if recruited) that keep her actually fighting in the war & it’s kinda different and i like that (actually i think she parallels/sends up/contrasts really really nicely with mercedes in that way)

my favourite thing about Marianne is just everything. how she finds worth within herself if you play VW (and the very very harrowing hc that she didn’t if you don’t), how she’s full of a quiet rage for the crest system but you eek it out of her as you play the game. how she’s still loved by the deers despite her appalling mental health (fight me on that canon) and the game essentially has her ‘save’ herself by finding worth and life within herself. i love her so much ok. (i also love her because she committed identity theft.. she and i share a name with the second dashwood sister oho (but i don’t use that name on the internet hhh) (also because my favourite shakespeare play is king lear (no really it is), my birthday is in red wolf moon too, i used to have very long hair i wore in a plait most days for school, little 11 and 17 year old me acted Exactly like white clouds marianne did & genuinely i love marianne von edmund to pieces but God it hurts to see her in game sometimes bc her journey mirrors a lot of mine & i love this character. so much.) WOW that was a lot. am i sure im not still drunk

so claude is not only one of my favourite characters in the whole damn game, but also shares the name of one of my favourite painters so i simply have to love him ;p however i can’t give a proper opinion on him yet because i haven’t finished playing deers yet :( but !! i love how (as is with all the lords) he has a veneer of personality to him, but in contrast to Edie where it’s quite seemless with her actual personality, Claude’s veneer of personality seems very opaque and plastered on. i may or may not just be wildly imagining things but he’s a very different personality in his lower supports with Lysithea than he is in his B support with Marianne, for instance. like, i love characters that are obviously a lot more socially intelligent than i could ever be, and claude is *chef kiss* BEAUTIFUL ON EVERY LEVEL.

i’d wax lyrical about Ingrid too but honestly there’s many better people out there with the good ingrid content than i could do. shortly, i love the New Take on the pegasus knight archetype she brings, and i really like her perspective on femininity !!! she’s such a good character & she brings so much to the game and to the pegasus knight character too!!!!! she’s such a bright personality and altho i wish so many of her supports weren’t centred around make-up (hhh dorogrid fans i pray for you), i think she’s really going to pave the way for whoever’s next in that character slot. (like, you can’t tell me she’s not an offshoot of Phila from awakening lmao)

no ok i’m adding in Hubert because i love this vampire man. i really really love the devoted servant archetype and we all know i love edelgard’s tragedy. and i love hubert. so much. the way he enables edelgard in pretty much everything is just so so interesting to think about, and i love his intensity about it. he’s like the ever present reminder that edelgard’s will kinda has to work otherwise the potential consequences of her being wrong are personified in hubert imo. it’s only touched on in VW in his letter but like. god i wish we got more but it’s a wonderful starting block. i love his comic relief as well, he’s such a fun character to have !!!! and also i have so many hubert fics in my bookmarks that just Get him. i love hubert. oh i love hubert.

i’m going to cut myself off there because . that’s just a LOT.

as for characters i would sell a limb to have them talk to each other, honestly it’s Edelgard/Marianne. (and only 51% because of all the projection i have going on with those two ok don’t at me i k n o w). that support chain would be too powerful and honestly i wish they had one becuauese it would have gone so Hard about what Edelgard was doing and what Marianne thought about it, and how they connected over it & they probably would have had their supports set over cups of tea or smth .. it would have been amazing.

(but i’d rather have nothing than an awakening-level-content support where they talk about eating fucking bear meat instead of talking about how they grew to trust each other with and their ability to save the fate of the world HUH AWAKENING. (i’m salty about fredrobin forever)

also hilda/dorothea supports . we were robbed. they’re best friends and you can’t actually tell me otherwise. they run the disaster bi chat of garreg mach. honestly i just would Love a support chain for them that starts with them talking about self care routines and something really small like accessories or perfume and it goes into how self-esteem and how dorothea has to find the same worth in herself as hilda so easily can. (hilda’s the queen of self esteem she’s a babe) and in CF they could have dialogue and then we cry about it. and in SS they talk about how they both chose their place with Byleth and not at edie/claude’s side like i’m just free balling here it could be Anything and i’d love it.

also big shocker .. dorothea/marianne supports . they both hate themselves in their profile CAN THEY PLEASE CHAT.

also i accidentally fell in love with the claude/edelgard ship and i desperately need them to interact on the same level that edie and dimitri get to because.. aren’t there supposed to be three main characters huh intsys .. and like i get what the game goes for with two of the lords embroiled in a personal war against each other at the heart and the third actually finding something close to the truth because he’s not involved in age old grudge matches but at the same time That’s one of the things that really really falls flat for me in the game. dimitri’s villain is edie, edie’s villain is big dragon wife, claude’s villain is the lack of communication that everyone in fodlan suffers from apparently. lack of communication and lies. ymmv with what im saying rn but i would have preferred if all three lords had strong personal ties to each other and in Each Route it was brought up. or just snip dimitri’s dialogue out of CF because i have beef with how that WHOLE moment went down on so many accounts hhhh honestly it makes me angerey to think about lol

.. back on topic- can the lords pls talk to each other because it would be SO interesting in white clouds and i like seeing how their personality presentations clash

also . can i marry manuela yet. my crops are dying here.

.. im so sorry about this but it’s midnight and i’m too tired to edit so. have this. thank you so much for the questions!!!! very kind (and brave) of you to ask me!!!!! i had a lot of fun writing all of this & as always if anything you didn’t quite /get/ i’m happy to re-explain myself!! :)

#ask #OH HELL THIS IS A POST HUH #fe meta #i mean it's not its just me having opinions rather loudly on ur dash #also that paragraph about edelgard is pretty much what i keep in mind to write her for my rtau fic #this is LONG im SO SORRY but NOT SORRY AT ALL #ur an actual angel if u sat thru this all #anyway. thank u so much for the ask that's so kind of u and i sent this mess back out into the world #my apologies oml #ok it's gone midnight im hitting post before i chaneg my mind #kalinary

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queenlua · 4 years

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radicarian said: how dumb are we talkin'

under a cut because the diehards can’t find me there

(note: um this got long, apparently i have a lot of art-criticism-y thoughts about this)

so there’s this subreddit that was created for “respectful” negative critiques of The Last Jedi, right?

and i find this amusing for a bunch of subtle inside-baseball reasons.

to dump my cards on the table:

* i keep Star Wars discourse at forty-foot-pole length, and

* while i really enjoyed The Last Jedi, and thought it did a lot of interesting things,

* it managed to attract a fanbase that seemed to love it for really dumb/cringe-y lefty/SJ reasons—if i see another “TLJ is about punching nazis” take i will scream, and yet

* of course the haters hated it for even dumber, bad-at-watching-movies reasons (“wah i don’t like that Luke was a depressed old dude wah” omfg y’all do you just want Ep4 re-released forever and ever—okay, yes, that’s what Ep7 was, you’ve made your point)

obviously this “respectful critique” subreddit is more palatable than like, idk, nerds screaming at Disney or whatever, but it embodies this fascinating faux-intellectual discourse that i see creep up time and time again on the internet. i’m familiar with this subculture because these are totally the forums i would’ve hung out in when i was twelve, haha :P

scroll through the archives and you’ll find endless weird, obsessive, nitpicky critiques of the new movies. people are salty because some obscure point of Force lore/mythos were rendered inconsistent by the new films, people are salty because Anakin’s sacrifice was “undermined” by the new baddies, and also Rey is a Mary Sue, blah blah...

and it feels like when you’re a kid, and you learn about the list of logical fallacies for the first time, and then spend the next several years pointing out the fallacies in every political debate, as if the problem with election cycles is the words ad hominem and non sequitur. like, yeah, kinda? but you are missing the forest for the trees, buddy.

similarly, so often what people assert is “bad writing” is this annoying memetic thing, where one dude launches their contrarian take on Why [X] Sucks, and maybe they’re even right that the piece feels unsatisfying, but often their critique amounts to a bunch of obnoxious nitpicks and checkboxes rather than a compelling narrative of what, on the whole, isn’t working.

but then a bunch of contrarian nerds latch onto that take, and parrot the same boring nitpicks back at each other forever, and because they’re being “contrarian”, they’re convinced that they’re Smarter Than Those Other People, and they end up forming a whole weird negging version of the fandom based around pseudo-intellectual gamesmanship.

and again: i get it. i wrote my fuckin’ 80-page takedown of every single page of Eragon as a twelve-year-old, i get why people find it fun, i’ve engaged in my share of it over the years, but nowadays it just bores me.

in general, as i’ve gotten older, i increasingly cringe whenever someone describes something as “categorically bad game design” or “bad writing” or whatever—not because i think all writing is equally good; of course it isn’t. but, (1) usually other adjectives are so much better for describing what exactly is happening—writing can be subdued, flat, frenetic, brash, stilted, hollow, uneven, etc, and these all tell you so much more than “dumb” or “stupid” or “illogical” or “bad”. and (2) other descriptions often give a better sense of what was being attempted, so you can actually judge the piece by what it was aiming for—and sometimes, the answer is “this isn’t bad, it just wasn’t meant for you,” a thing that fans often find intolerable but i think is actually kind of neat. (random example: ff13 was not flawed merely because it lacked open-world exploration. it was trying to tell a different story and give a different experience, and you can have an interesting discussion about whether that experience works, but if you spent the whole time being pissed that it’s not ff7 then of course you’ll hate it.) and finally (3) the rare stuff that i just find bad bad bad is usually not worth raging about at any particular length. i don’t learn much or feel good about doing exhaustive takedowns of every Eragon-tier novel on the market; i haven’t even got enough time to read all the good stuff.

(as a sidebar, you’ll notice that very little of my engagement in fandom is via “meta” essays, and this is kind of why—while there’s lots of interesting and wonderful meta that i adore reading, i’m personally uncomfortable writing it, because so often it gets embroiled in these weird fanwarish arguments about “good writing” and i just disengage.

the nice thing about writing fanfic is that it often embeds my feelings about the piece i’m responding to—but in a way that isn’t an argument or a game, it’s a here’s how this worked for me & how it made me feel, and you can write both fanfic that’s furious at canon and fanfic that’s elated with canon while still having something compelling and interesting and new to say, i guess.)

for another perspective on it: one of my favorite takes on TLJ was from a friend of mine, who was pissed because to her, it felt half-assed. it tried to do something bold, but flinched at the last moment: it didn’t go far enough to truly be a subversive weird arthouse film, nor did it nail any of the fun popcorn-cinema things you want from a blockbuster, and thus it failed at both.

that’s a fascinating perspective, one i don’t share but one i’m very glad to hear about. but i assure you that that’s not a take you’ll ever see posted on that subreddit, because it’s just a totally different tenor than the obsessive, nitpicky arguments they’d rather have.

and i find the “forum debate” style of argument staggeringly emotionally tone-deaf at times—like, here’s someone pissed that Rey somehow didn’t try hard enough to redeem Kylo in TLJ and that’s what made it bad, and just, wow. if you couldn’t hear—feel—the heartbreak in Rey’s voice when she says “please don’t go this way,” if it didn’t remind you of a time when someone let you down in the most brutal possible way, if you didn’t feel that moment of “oh, fuck, this isn’t what i thought it’d be”—then idk. uncharitably, i’d say you’re just going out of your way to be annoyed over even the bits that really really worked—but at the very least we’re just not really relating to this piece in an emotionally compatible way at all and our conversation stops there.

anyway, yeah!!! tl;dr sometimes i pass the time by eating popcorn and watching nerds who assert they are Better Than Other Nerds doing “takedowns,” basically

#this is only kind of about star wars #and mostly about why i don't do fandom discussions most of the time #ANYWAY YEAH THAT WAS A LOT TO TYPE #radicarian

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darksiderssin · 5 years

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Post Apocalyptic Slowburn feat. Horsemen

WOW THIS TOOK ME LONG ENOUGH. Super long post, so I’ll stick it under a cut so you don’t have to scroll forever XD

War: The fact that you've survived despite your planet being dead for the good part of a century has impressed the guy right off the bat. Not so much the Watcher, but War is adamant you stay with him- initially to prove to the Council that humanity isn't extinct and strengthen his case. Then you start having each other's back- you are vicious with that machete and Chaoseater is never too far from neatly bifurcating whatever's out to eat you. He's blunt when he tells you why your world ended, and you admit that it's not cool that this was pinned on him just because he was the closest person at the time, and War comes to treasure your loyalty like you treasure having him for a companion. You have a solid friendship already going on here.

By the time the Chosen are dealt with, War doesn't expect you to blindly follow him into the Black Tower for his rematch with Straga and grudge match with the Destroyer, but you do. Your bond is only strengthened by Azrael's confession that the Apocalypse was a mistake, so you are 100% down to help him fight Abaddon. Afterwards, it's just kinda natural that you stay together- you have work to do.

If your first kiss as a couple took a while, then you'll have to wait for one of your more calmer moments to get it on. No Watcher to taunt him now, no Council out to vindicate him- War knows what's coming next. You sit beside him, leaning on his shoulder and holding his arm gently as he admits that despite everything, despite the fact that he's ready for whatever comes next, he is terrified of losing you. That night is spent with your bodies intertwined in a way you know the Horseman just needs, but he's so scared that he might break you in half that you have to talk him through it the whole time, reassuring him and giving him praise. The look in those eyes as he takes you is a mix of feral lust and deep devotion that makes your loins twinge in just the right way, and the growled curses in Abyssal against your ear is enough to send you over the edge. You spend the rest of the night sleeping in an exhausted pile of tangled limbs, but it's a moment of peace you both deserve.

Fury: She absolutely didn't want you around at first. Why you didn't just go to Haven was beyond the Black Rider's comprehension, but you don't get in the way, you're smarter than you look, and you're not a bad shot with a bow and arrow- if you're lucky, you might catch Fury musing aloud how archery is a dying art among other races and that it's refreshing to see it still practiced by humans. ("What was that?" "Shut it and keep walking.") It becomes nice to have you around, though; your reassurance against the taunts of the Seven is strangely comforting, almost, especially when you say you don't know why they call her the dumb one and mention that it's pretty rude.

Speaking of the Seven, hearing them say awful things about how they want to eat you or something along those lines pisses Fury off to no end. Like no, that's her emotional support human, get fucked. Especially when Pride has the nerve to insult her further for "cavorting with the dustborn mongrels"- at least you have a clapback for it that takes Fury by surprise. It definitely knocks Pride's ego down more than a few notches when she's lying defeated with your arrows sticking out of her, But when the masks fall away, you tried to save Fury from Envy, and Envy took you away as a result as the Horseman fell. Fury's mega pissed when she sees that Envy has you chained like her brother was as she assaults the Council.

After it's over, and Fury has ferried the last of the humans at Haven away to safety, she admits that she was terrified of losing you. Now that you both have a moment alone, she's holding you to her chest and making sure Envy didn't hurt you. She finds a few marks and grumbles about it, even when you insist that it's not that bad and it'll heal. "She took what was mine," Fury growls, then captures your lips in a kiss. If you thought Envy left a mark, you're in for a ride, my friend; there's no real method, none of her usual dominatrix posturing, this is her boasting to her deceased enemy that she tried to take away her cherished human, the one who made her want to change, and failed. She's not giving you a moment to breathe, and you get sucked into the frenzied, feral, "holy-shit-we-survived" sex that leaves you both covered in hickeys, and you're pretty sure you passed out at some point. Sure, you've got a temporary colony to set up in the morning, but you crazy kids earned this.

Strife: You know him as Jones, the mild-mannered man of few words that you ran into on your way to the big-ass tree in the middle of Manhattan. He asked if you were alone, and when you explained that it was just you and where you were heading, he asked if he could tag along, since a giant tree isn't something you see every day. You talked about yourselves on the way, but you didn't glean much from his brief answers; middle child, two brothers and a sister, not a local by any standards. You brushed it off as him being a tourist when things literally went to hell in a hand basket and let it go. Ulthane and the other two Makers welcomed you both warmly, and you settled in with the others, finding your place to sleep. You noticed that Jones looked amazed that there were still so many humans alive after everything- you joked about needing a bigger tree, considering a tree this big would draw way more people, given time, and you might run out of room. With time, though, you'd started to pick up on things that he said that gave you the impression that he was a total fish out of water; not knowing about Chuck Norris jokes, or any of the TV shows that had been on before the world ended, and it seemed like he'd never picked up a book, either. You guessed that he was just raised a certain way and left it at that- you just didn't have the heart to ask.

It was one day while you were out hunting together, when you got jumped by a pack of Stalkers. Just your luck, your gun jammed, and you had no idea how to fix it. But just as you'd resigned yourself to the fate of being a lesser demon's chew toy, you heard gunshots ring out next to you- you had no clue where they came from, but Jones was holding two ornate pistols that blasted huge holes in the heads of the Stalkers and didn't seem to run out of bullets. When the smoke cleared, you didn't let it go- he was going to tell you what happened right now. Jones tried to tell you that you didn't want to know, but you were his friend, and he knew you wouldn't stop until you knew the truth. So he showed you. You were sworn to secrecy, but you felt you could trust him more now that you knew who he really was under the mask of a grizzled man in his late thirties, and it showed. Everyone joked about how close you two were getting and you nearly spat your stew across the room when someone asked when the wedding was one night over dinner. Jones took it in good jest, though- but wow, if you two weren't thinking about it later.

He did sleep with you, but it wasn't at Haven. You two were out on a run for supplies and any other things that could be useful to Ulthane or the others when you found what was left of one of the big hotels in town. There had to be stuff in the old safes here that the rich folk left behind when the End came, one being one of the mattresses in the suites that could fit like three people on it, and it was in pretty good nick. Maybe out of some childish impulse or lack of thought, you thought it'd be hilarious to tackle him onto the mattress. After he got over the initial shock and realised you were playing around, you both had a friendly wrestle on the mattress, laughing and rolling around until he let the facade fall away, pinning you down. You could feel his smirk under his mask before he took it off and tossed it aside, capturing your lips as your play-wrestling took a more intimate turn. I mean, no better way to break in a mattress, right?

Death: He was surprised, but elated to find you after stopping some of the Phantom Guard from pulling you out of your hidey hole. Gently as he could manage, he coaxed you into coming out to talk. You were alone, no clue where your friends had gone, and moreover, you were lost. You offered to help the Horseman look for the pieces of the Rod of Arafel, but you weren't sure where you would go after that. Begrudgingly, Death offered to take you with him (a poorly worded statement either way from someone named Death) so he could take you somewhere where you would be safe and protected- and most importantly, you wouldn't be lonely. At this point, anywhere sounded better than Earth, so you went with him. Then, the Pale Rider noticed something with you- not so much on your part as it was his, but...what was this old, familiar feeling? He thought he was being protective because he'd promised to get you to safety, but now he had these thoughts of staying with you. But War...

The more you convinced Death to tell you more of his family, you came to see another side of him- a side that was selfless and wholly prepared to sacrifice for his siblings. You found that quite endearing, that he seemed so human beneath the mask. He made you swear not to repeat any of what was said, but you knew that was a good thing. He was starting to trust you more, enough so that he'd started to take your perspective into consideration when you two were presented with obstacles or challenges, or listen to any random tidbit of trivia or a memory with interest. You wondered if it was love or if you were reading too much into it, and secretly Death wondered the same thing. He was beating around the bush when it came to figuring it out, but it wasn't like he was doubting it, gently brushing his knuckles against your arm as you slept next to him.

Death has to admit it- away from prying eyes. Really, it's the last thing he does, and he knows it's going to be cruel when he has to leave you behind, but he really wants to get back to you someday- time progresses differently depending on the realm you're in, after all. That's why he has to come clean to you. You're not sure how it happened, but you're so close, your body pressed against his chest. You reach up to remove the mask barring access to his lips, but his hands catch yours. "No." It's not said to scorn you, it's a request that shows his vulnerability- you're not sure where it comes from, but with his hands so attentive to your body's aching need, you can forgive him. Lying in the afterglow of your completion, Death feels an ache in his chest. He feels the crushing weight of his duty to War, to his siblings. One day, he hopes, you can forgive him for having to put you second.

#tried to focus on the relationships more here than the smut #i think it turned out fine #darksiders sin #slow burn #war #fury #strife #death

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osakaso5 · 5 years

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Momo 12 SONGS GIFT Rabbit Chat Part 3: Tell Us, All Stars! 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5

Yuki: Momo, happy birthday.

Mitsuki: Momo-san, happy birthday!

Riku: Happy birthday, Momo-san!

Tamaki: Momorin, hbd!

Yamato: Momo-san, happy birthday!

Tenn: Momo-san, happy birthday.

Nagi: Happy birthday, Mister Momo!

Ryunosuke: Happy birthday, Momo-san!

Iori: Happy birthday, Momo-san.

Sogo: Momo-san, happy birthday. I hope that we can continue to rely upon your guidance.

Gaku: Happy birthday, Momo-san!

Kaoru: Momo, happy birthday.

Banri: Momo-kun, happy birthday!

Momo: Thanks, everyone!!!!

Rinto: Thank you all for gathering here to celebrate Momo-kun! Takanashi-san, I'm sorry to entrust this to you like Anesagi-san did, but could you continue things from here, since you're so good at it?

Tsumugi: Alright!

Mitsuki: Momo-san, what kind of solo song did you pick?

Momo: It's a secret~!

Momo: I'll give you just the title! It's called "100% Happiness"!

Ryunosuke: That sounds great! It's perfect for you, Momo-san!

Tamaki: 'Cuz you're like, totally happy!

Momo: I know, right! Look forward to it!

Mitsuki: I'm sure the solo event will be a piece of cake to you, too! You're not going to have any trouble with the MC parts, live, or handshake event.

Momo: It's been a while since I did a handshake event! But that only makes me more excited!

Yuki: Maybe I should secretly participate, too

Rinto: You have work elsewhere, Yuki-kun!

Gaku: I think you'd be pretty easy to spot once you got in line (lol)

Sogo: It's surprisingly easy to go unnoticed if you wear a disguise.

Momo: Have you guys gone to see the other members' events?

Mitsuki: We've gone to see Iori and Tamaki's sports meet. We were in disguise, so it was all incognito.

Gaku: You and Osaka?

Mitsuki: No. Riku, Yamato-san, and Nagi came too.

Tenn: That's practically an all star crew.

Tamaki: You weren't fooling anyone...

Iori: You certainly weren't... I'm glad the students at our school are considerate about those sort of things...

Nagi: Iori and Tamaki have also come to study one of my shoots.

Tamaki: We did! That's the one where Nagicchi did a fashion mag shoot with a cat.

Riku: I heard about that! Apparently it was this rare, high-class cat. Did you go too, Iori?

Iori: Only as Yotsuba-san's chaperone.

Momo: You guys are so sneaky! lololol

Tsumugi: Well then, do you have anything to ask the others, Momo-san?

Momo: I wanna know what part of Yuki you like the most!

Yuki: It's your birthday, so you should make this about yourself for once lol

Momo: But this was the most exciting question I could come up with!!

Nagi: I know the feeling. I also want to collect an assortment of praise for Cocona, and preserve it for all eternity.

Momo: Right! Well then, I wonder what I should choose~!

Momo: I've decided!

Momo: Tell me how you make up with someone after a fight!

Sogo: A fight...

Momo: Yep! I'll be using these answers for reference in my daily life!

Yamato: When I think of you trying to make up with someone you fought with, only one person comes to mind.

Yuki: Oh. And who would that be?

Tsumugi: Ways to make up with someone after a fight, it is! Understood!

Momo: I don't see you as the type to fight, Maneko-chan, but how would you do it? Like when the other person is at fault, for example.

Tsumugi: You're starting with me!? Well then...

Choices/outcomes:

1. I'd be the one to apologize!

Momo: Typical Maneko-chan! You don't want the fight to drag on for too long, after all!

2. I'd demand that the other person reflects on their actions!

Momo: You're pretty confident, huh!? I just hope that the other person really does think of what they did, instead of getting even angrier!

3. I'd let the problem solve itself!

Momo: That might be a good method, too! Even if you're fighting, you'll still talk to the other person when you really need to, and sometimes you just hve to force yourself to get along with other people!

Tsumugi: I hope my answer was fine... I'd like to hear everyone else's opinions, too!

Tsumugi: Let's start with you, Okazaki-san!

Rinto: Personally, I'd just apologize. Even if I believed I was in the right, I'd apologize for turning it into a fight.

Rinto: And on top of that, I'd try to discuss the matter with them once more.

Yamato: What an adult.

Momo: Totally! Okarin doesn't go back on his opinions, but he'll apologize as soon as things get awkward! That way, both parties will calm down at the same time!

Tsumugi: Thank you, Okazaki-san! What about you, Anesagi-san?

Kaoru: I'd never do that. When I have a fight off work, I'll never apologize...

Tenn: Is that so. You're more impartial at work, so that's a bit surprising.

Kaoru: I do know when I should just give in. I'm sick of fighting, and acting stubborn is just making me feel lonely.

Kaoru: But I tend to take on the stance that I can't forgive the other person that easily.

Momo: You want to make the other person realize that you're hurt or angry, right! I think that part of you is pretty cute, Kaoru-chan!

Tsumugi: I act like that with my father sometimes, as well... Thank you, Anesagi-san! Banri-san, you're next!

Banri: So, am I allowed to make this answer a more specific piece of advice for when you fight with a certain someone?

Momo: Honestly, yeah. Go ahead, Ban-san.

Yuki: Who is this "certain someone?"

Banri: Got it. This is the type of person who lives according to their own rhythm and beliefs, so if you try to force them to be on time when they're feeling off, or disrespect their beliefs, they become overstimulated.

Banri: When they're overstimulated, they may seem like a stubborn and overly desperate blockhead who doesn't listen to advice, but they're really just genuinely trying to stick to their principles no matter what.

Banri: So, as long as they have somewhere they can be alone, they'll bounce back on their own. Once they've done that, they'll be able to give a sincere apology.

Momo: I screenshotted that!! Thank you so much!!!

Tsumugi: Banri-san, thank you! Yuki-san, you're next!

Yuki: Me?

Yuki: I'll wait for the other person to apologize

Momo: Aaaaaaargh I'm gonna lose my mind

Momo: But I love you!!!!!*:.。..。.:*・゜ (*´▽`*)゜・:.。..。.:*

Yuki: Me too ^^

Tenn: Have you never been the one to apologize?

Yuki: I have. But those times aren't really fights, it's just that I'm more likely to apologize when the other person stops listening to me, storms off somewhere, or starts crying.

Sogo: It's important to cool down.

Yuki: I'm a musician, right? So I get more stimulated by loud noises.

Momo: What's that got to do with you being a musician!?

Yuki: I think. That when people yell at me, it sends an unstoppable rush of blood into my head.

Momo: When I get mad, I yell really loud!

Yuki: I know. Which is why fighting with you will make the blood vessels in my head nearly burst on their own.

Momo: I'm seriously considering buying a punching bag for whenever we fight!

Tsumugi: P-please don't fight, you two! ><

Momo: We're not! This is a totally normal conversation for us!

Yuki: We're not fighting ^^

Yuki: In that case, I'll buy you a punching bag as a present.

Momo: Thanks! I'll get you cooling sheets for your head, too!

Yamato: As usual, I can't tell if these two get along really well or really badly....

Tamaki: Do you get stimulated when you hear loud noises too, So-chan?

Sogo: If anything, I think I get stimulus from fast tempos? That's why my head goes blank when I get nervous.

Yamato: So whenever you get nervous, we should all sing bossa nova together, got it.

Tsumugi: I'm glad you weren't fighting! Tsunashi-san, you're next!

Ryunosuke: How to make up after a fight, huh. I don't think I'd really be the one to apologize...

Momo: Really!? That's a surprise!

Gaku: Ryu's more stubborn than he looks.

Ryunosuke: If I think I'm in the wrong, I won't start a fight in the first place. So if I get into a fight, that means that I think I'm right.

Ryunosuke: I think it's pretty weird to go back on my own opinion just because it made someone else angry...

Momo: That's true...

Ryunosuke: So I think I'd try to compromise until the end. Listen to the other person's perspective, and tell the mine. We're not supposed to be fighting, after all.

Tenn: Right. You barely ever fight, anyway.

Ryunosuke: I guess I don't get angry a lot!

Tsumugi: Tsunashi-san, thank you! Yaotome-san, you're next!

Tenn: I'll do this in his stead.

Gaku: Why!?

Tenn: He's awfully aggressive, isn't he?

Gaku: And why are you talking like I'm not here.

Tenn: As surprising as it may be, he isn't actually trying to pick fights.

Yamato: I know what you mean!! There's been times when he came up to me and started talking all aggressively, and I got defensive because I didn't get that he was just greeting me.

Riku: Yaotome-san's really nice, but he feels kind of like a yanki at first!

Gaku: I wonder why. I'm just trying to act casual.

Tamaki: But I feel like it wouldn't help much if Gakkun started talking all politely...

Gaku: I'm just doing what comes naturally.

Ryunosuke: Gaku's cool, so maybe that's just the impact he has on people?

Momo: So Gaku, what would you do if you got into a fight?

Gaku: I think I'm about the same as Ryu. I'll apologize if I'm wrong. If I'm not wrong, I won't.

Iori: Then, if you and Tsunashi-san fought, how would you settle things?

Gaku: Who knows?

Ryunosuke: Have we ever had a fight?

Ryunosuke: We've never really had any major disagreements, either...

Gaku: I wouldn't mind if we disagreed on something for once. Like whether we prefer bread or rice for breakfast, or whether we like cats or dogs.

Riku: Then, what if you fell in love with the same person?

Ryunosuke: Me, falling in love with the same person as Gaku!? I guess I'd withdraw once I find out about Gaku's feelings?

Gaku: Why? I don't wanna win by default. We need to settle it fair and square.

Ryunosuke: I wouldn't want to bother you or the other person by forcing my own feelings on either of you. I guess that's what makes the two of us different.

Gaku: We really don't have a lot to fight over, huh.

Gaku: We didn't fight just now.

Momo: Thanks for the info! lol

Riku: Don't you fight with Tenn-nii?

Gaku: I do. But I think he tends to be right more often, at least when it comes to work.

Tenn: How honest of you.

Gaku: I'm right about private stuff more.

Tenn: That last part was unnecessary.

Tsumugi: Yaotome-san, thank you! Yamato-san, you're next!

Yamato: Sorry, wait a sec. I think my phone's running out of battery.

Yamato: Who here took the charger cord I keep in my room?

Nagi: Sorry, Yamato. My cord burned out, so I borrowed yours.

Yamato: I don't mind if you borrow it, but why is it connected to a USB plasma globe?

Momo: Lmao, lolololol I'll have to do that at Yuki's place sometime, lol

Nagi: Touching it makes me feel like a wizard :-)))

Mitsuki: Now Nagi's impulse purchase is in Yamato-san's room, lolololol

Tsumugi: Well then, let's take a 15 minute break!

Tsumugi: Until then, everyone!

#idolish7 #momo #12 songs gift #translation #re:vale #rabbit chat

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bitch-of-ren · 6 years

Text

“you’re not doing this, the effort would kill you”

okay guys, so I’ve been thinking for a while about a couple of Kylo Ren’s lines that I don’t find obvious in terms of meaning/justified by the plot at the point when he says them.

namely, these lines are:

“you mean the murderers, traitors and thieves you call friends?”;

“you still want to kill me” from TFA (which, I think, are both connected to some other lines from the novelizations)

“you’re not doing this, the effort would kill you.” from TLJ

I will hereby present my take below (and also a bit of context interpretation which is necessary to highlight in order to make my points clear - however, I’m not doing a full Reylo dynamic or Kylo Ren’s character analysis, because there are many excellent ones out there and I don’t have anything intelligent to add), but I’d also like to know what you guys think, so feel free to share your thoughts!

also, this is my first analysis whatsoever, so be gentle please :P

tl;dr summary at the end ^^

also, I used some gifs I found on Google, which are not mine - I noted the source each time, which I hope is okay. I mean no harm and don’t want to step on any toes, so if there is some other way I should approach this, please let me know.

all right, so my initial hypothesis will be that there are a couple of lines which are a bit ambiguous and not obvious from the narrative perspective, both in TFA and TLJ, and separately these lines can be interpreted in various ways which make sense, but put together they have another meaning and shed some extra light on Kylo’s state of mind and how he thinks about Rey.

so what we see in TFA is this:

Kylo Ren gets a report about a lost droid and he’s a bit pissed off about that (understandably). he throws a tantrum when he learns that Finn helped BB8 escape, and then calms down - being his sarcastic, dry self, asks “anything else?” and Mitaka is dumb enough to tell him about A GIRL as well. this shouldn’t be that important, right, to get him from destroying objects to harming people? he has already learned the worst part, so basically Kylo Ren has no actual reason that we know of to be triggered enough to Force choke poor Mitaka and again lose his shit. but he does. “WHAT. GIRL?” of course, possible explanation here is that it’s just the final straw for him in this situation, as we know that overall he is not the most patient and put together character in the galaxy.

(gif from Inverse)

he again hears about THE GIRL who was spotted headed west with a droid once he arrives fashionably late to the battle field on Takodana. he proceeds to hunt her down like a goddamn tiger as she fires at him repeatedly. he doesn't harm her in any way though, but instead freezes her in place - even though he does not know that she has seen the map at this point, so he does not have a tactical objective to keep her alive yet. THE GIRL he’s heard so much about. yup, like literally twice, and mostly that she existed and was pals with BB8 but okay. again, it’s not uncommon to use that kind of line as an indication that despite that’s the first time characters meet, they’ve already caused some trouble for one another.

then of course he hovers over her closely during initial interrogation, and is a bit spooked out once the stormtroopers show up, at which point he stops touching her face and takes a step back from here immediately, like a teenager making out with his girlfriend after parents suddenly burst into the room. and btw, I didn’t expect stormtroopers to be able to sneak up on Kylo Ren like that - the guy who is normally quite focused okay:

(gif from Uncyclopedia)

but hey, girls are distracting. she knocks her out, bridal-carries her to the ship - my head canon is that he held her all the way to the Starkiller Base - and then we head into The Interrogation Scene.

(pic from Jedi Council Forums)

Rey wakes up restrained, on the goddamn bed torture chair, with a dude who hunt her down and kidnapped her crouching right in front of her. she has every right to be freaked out and not be very friendly towards him, right? she immediately demands to know where she is. he says she’s his guest, which is a villain enough, ironic line which has been used before and can easily be attributed to Vader parallel and generally “bad guys being good hosts”.

note: in the book, there is gentleness to his voice, and in any case less hostility than expected in this situation.

and then.

“where are the others?”

“you mean the murderers, traitors and thieves you call friends?” in a condemning tone (sniffing disdainfully, as the book tells us).

okay, so what is happening here? a guy who ordered a whole village to be killed suddenly has something to say about other people? he accuses them of being murderers, but also traitors and thieves? like, stealing is a problem for Kylo Ren now? yes, they did act in a way that caused problems for the FO, but what is with this self-righteousness? yes, Kylo Ren is an elitist, but there is something more happening there as well, I believe. again, he is referring to Finn and Han, and so this line could be attributed to his father, particularly considering Kylo Ren’s thoughts from the novelization - “not a general, not a hero. just a small-time thief and smuggler.”; “Han Solo’s days of cheating and disappointing people were over” - Kylo doesn’t have that great of an opinion about his dad and he expresses it here (not to mention Finn the traitor, and I guess they both shot a number of people so technically are murderers). but I think it’s something else as well.

for now, he says he has no idea.

note: in the book, he also highlights here how he could lie to her and tell her they’re dead, but he wants to be honest with her. from the beginning. of the interrogation, but only? why would that matter if he was honest with his prisoner whom he could interrogate with the force? he didn't seem much concerned about that with Poe...

“you still want to kill me.” with an adorable head cock. like. what else does a sound person expect from a prisoner in this situation? it is perfectly logical that a person strapped to the interrogation chair, kidnapped and about to be tortured for information, wouldn’t exactly have much love for the person responsible, right? also, the “still” part is what I find interesting, because it’s like something has changed in the meantime that - in his mind - should change her attitude. was it that he spared her friends?

note: in the book Kylo Ren said that in a response to reading her mind; Rey was worried before he said that line and she warned herself to be careful around him because he might lose his shit at any point if she does something to trigger him. again, she didn’t exactly think of harming him then.

then we also have another lines from the TFA novelization which are not in the movie, but were also interesting.

“something... there is something. who are you?” when they first met at the forest, even before he proactively read her mind. he knew her. he sensed her. she was his.

then, during the interrogation, Kylo Ren sees something in her mind and thinks that “there was something there, of interest. not the image of the map. that would take another moment. but definitely something worth investigating.” in the end he doesn't get there, as she responds with the Vader thing. WHAT IS IT?!

then there is famous line of “Hux was not worthy of such attention. the girl, on the other hand...” mmhhmm...

“taken aback, he whirled - to see the weapon land in the hand of a girl standing by a tree. Rey appeared equally shocked that her reach for the device had exceeded his. she gazed down at the weapon now resting in her grip. <<it is you>>, Ren murmured. his words unsettled her: not for the first time, he seemed to know more about her than she did about herself”.

(gif from We Heart It)

I can't how he looks and sounds like young Snape in these forest scenes

now, moving on to TLJ.

first force time.

“you’ll bring Luke Skywalker to me.”

she huffs and does nothing.

“you’re not doing this. the effort would kill you”.

like, what?

basically from this point onward, Kylo Ren loses interest in tactical knowledge about Luke Skywalker. he becomes more interested if Rey knows his version of events and how Luke screwed up, so she doesn’t see him as a monster anymore. he's also very curious about the force time and how it works, enough to relieve potentially tactically relevant information to her - “I can’t see yours.” he never asks her anything about Luke whereabouts again.

of course, the first line serves to establish that he can’t manipulate her into doing anything she’s not willing to do (explicit in the novelization).

the second line though? like, this is something a girlfriend might say to her boyfriend when she asked him to do something 2hs ago and he’s still playing Battlefront II or whatever. this does not fit into the situation.

now, I read some analysis that this is related to Luke’s sacrifice, namely Kylo Ren knows how the force projection works and understood immediately that his uncle would die and was devastated because of it.

while I think it does make sense in general, I disagree with this interpretation, because if you put all of these pieces together, I think you get a more holistic interpretation which convinces me a bit more.

additionally, in the first line he doesn’t mention force projection or teleportation, I don’t think it makes much sense for him. what would happen? she would show up with Luke, without being able to do anything to him (the blaster bolt didn’t hit Kylo Ren, so he didn’t have much basis to assume he could kill his uncle via force projection - “so no, this is something else”) - and I doubt that Kylo Ren’s intention were to talk it out in “it was 2 AM!” style. I think if Kylo Ren thought much about force projections, he wouldn’t have humiliated himself as he did in front of his new army on Crait, because - being a smart ass - he’d figure it out. so no, I think he wasn’t referring to force projection effort there.

tl;dr summary and overall conclusion and The Point I want to make:

I think Kylo Ren knew about Rey for a long time now. she saw him in a dream, in a nightmare, and since Kylo is 10 years older, I think he’s more aware of this connection and its nature than Rey is. it might have been dreams, it might have been glimpses, but she’s been there with him.

I think because of that, in his head, they are way more advanced in this relationship than would make sense based on the plot thus far, and it’s almost surreal for him that they’ve just met, because they were connected for so long now.

that’s why he's freaking about when he hears about A GIRL. that’s why he is not happy with the company she keeps, while he would be obviously a superior choice. that’s why he is surprised she wanted to kill him while being strapped to interrogation chair, because he himself was so gentle (in context) with her. he is sassy with her and oblivious to her rage at the beginning, because in his head they are on another level.

#reylo #star wars #kylo ren #meta #tfa #tlj #force awakens #last jedi #rey #force bond #tlj novelization #tfa novelization

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marnathas · 6 years

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Filthy hypno ideas #18

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these!! XD Actually, it’s been a bit hard to find the right sort of inspiration that’d work for this thing, but inspiration hit, and writing happened. :P I’ve tried something here, where the person whose perspective it’s written from isn’t speaking directly. Else I’d go nuts with quotation marks. Seriously. I have also omitted what’d be parts of the story for sake of not writing a bloody hypnosis script! I think it flows better as an experience like this anyways!

"So then, what do you think so far?"

Huh, that was interesting. They were right that being hypnotised didn't feel much different to just relaxing, although those test suggestions we did did work, I think. At least, I don't think I was just going along with it?

Somewhere public and safe. Just enough privacy that we could talk and not be disturbed, but if something was really off, I wouldn't be trapped in a room or something terrible.

We'd done a basic induction, they called it the Elman, or something like that? And afterwards a simple suggestion, and a reinduction back into trance, just to let me experience it and see for myself that it works.

I was surprised it worked so easily, honestly. Afterwards, they'd given me a few minutes to make sure my head was clear, and then we'd started talking about the experience. And here we were, some questions later.

"Like I explained earlier, that's nothing unusual, however it feels for you is absolutely correct. But as I said as well, what you'll feel will change the more you do it probably, especially if you go under repeatedly within a short period of time."

Oh yeah, they did say that, didn't they? Fractio-something? Oh! Fractionation! Well, now that they said it again I remember. That does sound interesting, the idea of a fuzzy half-trance state sounds... well... ok, hot.

...I'm blushing, aren't I?

"Well then, would you like to try that out while we're still here?"

I... Yes. Yes I would. Make eye contact me, damnit! I can just feel the smirk out of the corner of my eye. Not like I omitted to them I have a hypno-kink, though now I wish I had, to save myself feeling shy.

"Ok, I tease, but in all seriousness, the option is open, take a few minutes to think it over and clear your head more if you need to."

Oh. Ok, that's actually nice. Yeah. Let me think about it.

A few minutes later (ok, maybe one or two only) I agreed again, and asked how we'd go about it.

"So how about this? We'll do the same induction repeatedly, so you can compare how it feels each time in succession. Would you want to do the same induction we did before, or something different?"

Something different? You mean like the cliches of pendants and pocket watches, or something? Way to obviously bait, me...

"If that's what you want, then yes, we can do something along those lines." argh I can feel the smirk again!

At this stage I simply nod.

"Alright then, we'll go through it once, and again I'll explain the overall process afterwards, then we'll do it several more times. Sound good?"

I nod again.

...And then answer yes, when pressed a bit. Ok, yes, being clear on consent is important, but gahhh I'm embarrassed, ok!?

"Let's get to it, then! One important question for this first. Can I borrow your wrist?"

...Ok? I hold out my hand, and feel them rather gently take my wrist, and bring it up in front of my face, at a decent distance.

"So we're going to do a bit of a cliche eye fixation induction. I could get you to focus on anything, really, but something nice and eye-catching is more interesting. Luckily, your watch fits that bill quite nicely. Don't you agree?"

Well I wasn't expecting this. Not that they're wrong, though. I guess shiny and metal fits the bill quite nicely, now that I'm thinking about it.

"So just focus all your attention on your watch. Let yourself take note of how the light reflects off of it, and how nice it is to look at as I just move your wrist back and forth, from left, to right. Easy, isn't it?"

Uh-huh. Yep, it is. Will this work? Nah, don't worry about that, their voice is nice like this, let's just keep going with it.

"And just let yourself relax, and let how you felt in trance just a bit earlier start coming back to you, and remember how it all felt."

There wasn't much that came to mind, but bits and pieces did. And just remembering them is actually really nice, like it's all coming back to me, or something like that.

...

"And wide awake! How you feeling?"

Welp. That worked. I just got hypnotised by my own wristwatch. Gahhh. I'm blushing again aren't I?

I'm feeling good though. Yep, good. Very good. As good as good can be. Definitely blushing >,.,>

"So basically, the process is simple. I'll ask for your wrist, and you answer yes if you want to go under. I then bring it up in front of your face and you focus on your watch, just like before, and we go through the same induction of focusing on it, relaxing, and letting everything else go. All make sense?"

Yeah, I think it does.

"Ready for round two then?"

I... Yep. Yep! Yes I am.

"Rightio then, so just lend me your wrist again."

I hold out my hand again, and just like before, they take it in theirs, and lift it up to eye-level.

"And just like before, focus your attention on your watch. Keep your eyes on it as it moves back and forth. Remember how that last trance felt, and how you felt as you relaxed and kept your eyes on the watch as it moved. That's it, just like that. You can let your eyes blink, and droop, as you let go more and more..."

Uh-huh. Yeah. This is much easier than last time...

"And up and awake again. There we go!"

I just blink a few times. It's taking longer to put thoughts back together. This is different. It's really nice.

"Now this time we're not going to give you as much of a gap between trances, so just lend me your wrist again."

Huh? Oh. Ok. I limply lift my hand up to theirs again, and as with the last few times, I quickly find myself staring at my watch.

"Thanks. And just like that, let your attention fixate once again on the watch."

...

Several iterations, and much experience of feeling fuzzy and definitely a lot more intensely "tranced" than before (at least from my perspective), we stop. I lost track of exactly how many times we went through that process, it certainly got a lot easier near the end, compared to the beginning, that's for sure.

The rest of our time was spent, well, first letting my head clear up and get back to normal. Eep.

But then talking about the entire experience, and answering any questions I had about it all, before we got up to head home, and part ways. We both seem pretty happy with the day, which I'm glad for. It would've been so bad if I just sucked and didn't go under, or something like that. >,.,>

We hug just before we go our separate ways home.

"I hope you had a good time with all of that, by the way. If you ever want to try again and do a bit more than just going in and out of trance, just feel free to ask!"

Yes. I'd like that. A lot. This may not have been much, but it was really fun, and I won't deny it didn't feel great. And then, just as we start to separate,

"You want one more drop for the road?" if there was ever an expression that implied a wink, this was it.

Not like I was opposed, but it's been a good half an hour maybe since we finished up, and there's people all around. Would it even work? ...I'm positive I was blushing as I brought all of that up.

"Don't worry, it'll be easy." the response came as their hand slid mine down from the hug out to the side a bit. "So, lend me your wrist one more time?" I nodded, and felt their hand take mine once again, still by our sides though.

"This'll be absolutely easy. Your mind knows the process, we've done it a bunch of times already, so it knows what to do, and what to expect, and how to prepare for it."

"You know that in a few moments, I'll bring your wrist up, for you to focus on that watch again, and that'll be the signal to relax, and let go, and let yourself slide easily and effortlessly back into trance."

"And already, your mind is getting ready for that, as you already focus on my voice, and let everything else fade away. Just looking a bit vacantly ahead as you don't focus on anything else, as there's no need yet for your eyes to focus on anything, isn't there?"

I vaguely think no to myself, but the thought comes slowly, and quietly. I already feel relaxed, and like I'm starting to drift away already. But it's not yet time to let go, I can feel myself just waiting.

And then I feel my hand being lifted in front of my face, and see my watch come into view once more...

Ok, where to start with talking about things afterwards. First thing is this deals with conditioning, in a sense. I will never shy around saying be bloody careful with conditioning, and conditioned responses. Don’t cause something like that in a way that might cause nuisances outside the fun times. Hence the induction process in that contains several steps, including an opt-in from said subject. Also, consent, I’ve tried to take care to write in the subject consenting, and being asked to consent, each time. There are caveats of consent getting fuzzier when someone’s fractionated, but then take into account the agreement at the start to be zonked multiple times, and specifically giving them time to clear their head completely before being asked to do something different. And I think that’s all the non-hawt I want to speak about this time. :P

#Blog #Hypnosis #Filthy hypno ideas

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feliceperez · 3 years

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Thought #18: On the Way There

I dedicate this post to all of my friends who never left me during the darkest days and most difficult times. Thank you my constants, I would have never made it without you.

Originally, this post was meant to culminate my 5-year journey in UA&P; my experiences, learnings, and the notable things that happened in my college life. A “traditional graduation post” I call it. However, since we are still in the pandemic quarantine and I just got out from a much needed hiatus, I thought it would be more fitting to post it now given all the events that have happened ever since my last post.

It has been 4 years since I last posted, and so many things have changed since then. I drifted away from friends and gained new ones, encountered a lot of obstacles in finishing my academics, experienced betrayals, manipulation, broken promises, and disloyalty from some of the most unexpected people. I experienced countless times of self-doubt, emotional anxiety, and guilt, accompanied by people who made me feel that I was a complete nothing, that my efforts and all the other things I do to make things better were just for naught. I honestly thought I’d never make it (and for those who know and were there during the darkest of the darkest days, you would know what I am talking about). But here I am, 4 years later, still alive and breathing and about to officially close this dark book of my life.

My college journey was not easy. I have encountered professors and lecturers who diminished my value, even going as far as trying to humiliate not just me, but a lot of other students as well. I have cried, I have given up on passing certain papers, only to try again just for me to pass my subjects. Multiple subjects I failed, multiples times I questioned if I was treading the right path, multiple times I doubted if it was really worth fighting for my degree and not transfer schools. But one thing was true all throughout the journey: UA&P was not my dream university, but it was the university that I needed in order for me to grow. My university may have shook and tested my values and principles a lot of times, but it was for me to stand better and taller for the future that I was about to take. As I said in my graduation post back when I graduated last August 2020, this university made me understand more what it means to hold on and offer it up.

After graduation, my trials did not end there. Apart from the pressure at home for law school and the pandemic stress, I struggled finding work for 10 months. Competition for jobs were high, since I was competing not just with my fellow Batch 2020 graduates, but also with those who were laid off from their work and were also looking for a new job. Before I landed on the job that I have found right now, I had 68 work applications sent to various organizations and companies. Of that 68 work applications, I received 4 offers, with me finally taking the latest offer after much consideration. In the past 10 months, I battled with myself, trying to answer questions such as “What was lacking in me?”, “Where am I going wrong?”, and “Should I have just done law school now just like what some people said?” Amidst my work application stress and pressure, my 5-year relationship ended last April, and the things I found out later on added to the things I was thinking about. For me to process things properly since everything was happening all at the same time and to avoid the toxicity I can possibly give to my friends, I took a 4-day hiatus from my Facebook account and kept in touch with only the ones I can trust.

Today, I come out of it as someone who’s found what she has lost over the years, and is on the way to knowing herself more than ever.

I read once again the learnings I posted back in 2015 when I turned 18 years old. It felt surreal going through them again more than 5 years later, because I was realizing them in a different perspective with different explanations this time. Allow me to share the changes (and to add to the list) what I realized and thought over during my 4-day Facebook hiatus:

1. Letting go is not a “have-to-do” kind of thing, rather it’s a choice that you make. 18-year old self: Yes, it’s hard to set people free, to let go of someone or something you’ve gotten really attached to. But sometimes, you have to let go because they’ve become something that prevents you from moving forward in your life. In other words, a magnet that’s pinning you to them like a metal. You have to set not only the other free, but yourself as well from all the pain it’s causing you. However, you won’t be able to do it just because of the “haves” mentioned, but you should always want to do it. It will take a while coz face it, it’s never easy to willingly decide to move on. But if you really want to, and as long as you have the right justifications to do so, then you will.

23-year old self: 5 years later, this is still true, but it does not just apply to people now. When you let go, you need to choose to let go of everything about the person, including feelings. Whether that is love or anger, you need to let go of it because that is the only way for you to move forward. And, you need to choose it, you need to want it. If you will only do it because “you have to”, then there is always the risk of not letting go of everything, of tolerating things, because you will feel that you are forced instead of willingly choosing to do it. Letting go is a choice you make for yourself, for your own well-being, and not for anybody else.

2. The best people that hone who you are aren’t only those who became your constants, but also those who left you. 18-year old self: “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” Maybe you’ll find it funny why I used this quote because your understanding might be different from mine, but hey everyone has their own way of thinking and understanding things.

In my perspective, your enemies are the ones that give you some (if not most) of the worst trials of your life. Let’s say you were bullied in school during your younger years. Not everyone will be able to cope with those really well. Some may become bullies too when they get older, or be depressed, or worse even commit suicide. But for those people who know how to cope with it well know how to handle themselves better in similar situations. They don’t repeat the same mistake, they don’t hurt others just because they are hurt themselves, and there are times when they are the ones who defend the bullied. Furthermore, they know the effects of it and they grow to be better people because of it. It’s amazing how one person, whether he/she has hurt you or not, can teach you a lot of lessons that you need to know in order to live this life in a better way than the rest.

23-year old self: Looking back at my explanation back then, I do admit it is confusing HAHAHAHAHA. Maybe now I can offer something better.

People get to hurt us because they hold pieces of us that we gave to them when we trusted them. But I would not, and cannot count it as a wrong decision because at the time we trusted them, it was their choice to hurt us. So we should not beat ourselves up for the choices they make themselves. But even if they hurt us, the pain that we felt is in itself a lesson, something that we can take away while we process that pain. That is why the people who hurt us are also the best people that help hone who we are, because with the pain they give come the learnings and takeaways that we cannot learn from those whom we are in good terms with.

3. Take risks. 18-year old self: Life is too short to avoid taking risks. It’s not bad to take risks, coz they give you experience too. But know which one to take, and weigh the possible outcomes. It’s okay to commit mistakes or the ”wrong risks”, but not all the time. Learn to think too and not be careless. Be reckless, but not to the point where you won’t think and just “go lang ng go”.

23-year old self: This is still true and this is something I should have done while I was in college. But I guess it is not too late now right? I mean, I am finally done with school so I have that whole life ahead of me to do this already.

Don’t forget this anymore, self.

4. Don’t regret on lost opportunities. 18-year old self: Yes, it’s not good to miss an opportunity or let it slip from your hands. But hey, always remember that there’s a reason why you missed out on that opportunity. It’s either you had to learn an important lesson, be safe from an unfortunate experience or He wants you to experience it, or better, He has a better opportunity laid out for you.

23-year old self: I better understand this now that I found the miracle job that I have been looking for. I call it the miracle job because it was everything I wanted: good company, good offer, good proximity from where I live, and from the looks of it, good culture as well (since I have a fellow UA&P Political Economy alumna as one of my bosses). I lost 2 opportunities before this miracle job, but I do not regret those lost opportunities. Indeed, He had a better opportunity laid out, and I can’t wait to see how this road will play out for me.

5. Know a lot of people, but know who your constants will be. 18-year old self: Your constants are the people who will be with you for a really long time (I didn’t say “forever” because it’s really up to them if they want to), so know the “right ones”. These are the people who will see who you become asides from your family, who will form the other major parts of your whole self. Your constants will play an important role in your life, so better know who they are.

Definition of “right”? Well that’s up to you.

23-year old self: Growing up not relying on my family and relatives, my friends were the people I run to in times of need. With all of the things I experienced, they became the fortresses I lean on, the witnesses of my cry fests, heartbreaks, and giving up moments. Unfortunately, because of certain circumstances, I drifted away from so much good friends from my high school days when I went to college. So during the pandemic, I took this as an opportunity for me to regain lost connections and build new ones. So far, some of them were successful, while there were a handful that were not.

Throughout my college journey, I am happy that I also found some of my constants from another course. College became the living proof that even if I knew a lot of people in the university, there will only be a handful of them that I can call my constants, the “right ones”. Also, the length of the friendship does not define if they will be your constants or not. People are your constants when you know that your friendship with them can stand above time and physical interactions, knowing at the end of the day, they got your back and you got theirs.

6. Leave the bad memories in the past. 18-year old self: In my perspective, “bad memories” trigger trauma, fear, and grudges against anything or anyone. Those aren’t healthy for me because it hinders me from doing what I want to do, hence not making me “grow” to be a better person. I’m not saying that keeping the bad memories is “bad”, but if it’s not helping you anymore and instead becoming toxic to your personality and way of thinking, then I think it’s best to get rid of it. Learn what you have to learn from it, then leave the memory in the past and move forward with the lesson.

23-year old self: College gave me a ton of bad memories. But I guess that is also the reason why I said it was also this journey that made me understand more what it meant to hold on. Bad memories are there for you to learn from them, not for you to keep reminiscing and going back to. So it is better to leave them in the past, but never forget the lessons it gave you.

7. Best version of yourself? Look at the mirror everyday. 18-year old self: You are at your best version each day that comes in your life. So chin up, smile, and make the most out of everything every day. You’re beautiful, just the way you are.

23-year old self: Still true. Each day we grow, and from each day we do not stay the same as who we were yesterday. Your best version of yourself will always be who you are at present, and it will keep getting better as each day passes by.

8. Hone your natural skills. 18-year old self: Natural skills are your intangible gifts from God. So, the best way you can give back to Him is by nurturing your given talents and using them for a good purpose. After all, He gave those to you because He wants you to use them for the good.

23-year old self: Waw daming time? AHAHAHAHAHA but this is one of the things I miss doing. So in this pandemic, I started catching up on these by attending to one of the primary skills I need to master: writing. I have a lot of content in line folks hehehe so stay tuned.

9. Do something new everyday. 18-year old self: Don’t be content with your present natural skills! Be out there and do something out of the norm. Who knows, your other talents are just hidden, waiting to be discovered by you.

23-year old self: As what people say, the best time to try new things is the moment you start thinking about it. However, for some people who have priorities and timelines set, this will have to wait. But hey, resourcefulness is key. There may be a lot of things I want to try and do everyday, but I will do them once I get to save up my own money. For now, I shall settle with focusing on one thing I have always wanted to learn and master: playing the ukulele.

10. Having your alone time isn’t bad. 18-year old self: Being a lone wolf makes you discover something about you. Go on a date with yourself, write, have fun with movies at home, or simply go out and do some self-exploration. Self-adventures are usually how people get to know themselves better, because these are where people get to test their capabilities and limits to the maximum levels. Just don’t be a lone wolf too much, after all humans were made to be social beings.

23-year old self: Something definitely not ideal given the pandemic situation. But that does not mean you can’t do stuff while at home. I have been catching up on my books here, and I have been catching up on sleep that I lost when I was in college. Self-care, self-love is so important, which is something I should have done a long time ago.

11. Give your all when you love. 18-year old self: Loving someone isn’t all about you, rather it’s about both of you. Love doesn’t just work because of the feelings you both have. It flourishes because of the efforts placed in to make the relationship work. Love works and becomes better when both sides invest time, compromises, and sacrifices in it.

23-year old self: Fresh from a 5-year relationship, I can say that this is still me, and this is still how I love: choosing others before me. I am still the type to go lengths for my friends, and give a lot of sacrifices for my significant other. Though I do admit I chose not to look at all the red flags waving at me, it was a relationship where I saw how far I can give for love. It may have not worked, but I am happy and proud that the way I love is the genuine, honest. sincere, and pure kind, and I do hope the next and hopefully the last person (pang-forever type), will feel lucky with the kind of love I can give.

But hey, this does not just apply to romantic relationships, it also applies to friendships you have built over the years. Giving your all in love for people who matter to you is something not everyone can do, so keep at it while you have it. Just do not forget to give yourself some love as well.

12. Failed relationships aren’t a bad thing. 18-year old self: After all that you’ve done, the relationship fails. It hurts, but hey, focus on the positive things that it gave you. You learn from your mistakes. You learn what you should do and not do. You know what traits of a guy you don’t like. You see yourself in a different light. Yes, it may bring negative effects like you develop the fear of getting hurt, or trusting someone with your heart. Don’t despair, because you’ll be able to get rid of those fears that you have in time. Just don’t shut your doors completely because who knows, your “the one” is just lingering around the corner waiting to be discovered.

23-year old self: Man, my 18-year old self is sure a hopeful one. Though I still agree that failed relationships are not a bad thing, it is tiring most especially if you have invested a lot of time and effort and the other party still does not recognize the sacrifices you did. But as I said, with failures come learnings, so they are not completely a total loss.

13. Never waste time on something that ain’t worth it. 18-year old self: Get rid of anything toxic to you. Leave behind anything that’s keeping you from moving on with life. Stop going back to the previous pages, and instead keep writing onto the coming ones. Time is more precious than jewels, so don’t waste it on anything that’s less than its worth. You’re the only one who has a say on who’s worth of your time, so spend it wisely! Life’s too short to get your time wasted on worthless stuff ya know.

23-year old self: This hits hard most especially since I spent so much time on someone who was not worth it at all. I thought that it was a person worth spending that much time with, but I guess I was wearing rose-colored glasses for me to see that it was not worth it anymore.

Still, it feels good finally remove those glasses and never look back. So self, this is something you should never forget anymore, most especially since you like wearing your heart on your sleeve.

14. You define who you are, not what people say. 18-year old self: Hypocrites can judge you on what you wear, say, or do, but only you have the say if these are really you or not. Sure you can take in comments from them, but you have to filter. Not everything they say are true about you. You know yourself, your capabilities, abilities, skills, weaknesses, flaws, whatever. The point is, you know yourself better than anyone. Who are they to judge you anyway, they aren’t the boss of you. Only One has the right to judge you, and He’ll do that when you die.

23-year old self: Still true, most especially now that I am about to work and venture out there in the real world. No matter how long a person may have known you, they do not have the right to define who you are and who you are going to be. You are the boss of yourself, since it is only you who decide between choices that come your way.

15. Don’t let the bad stuff pin you down. Get up! 18-year old self: Get up from that pit of pity of yours. Show everyone who you are and what you can really do. Free yourself from those chains of the bad, and do yourself a favor. You wanna grow and be better? Go do it. No one’s stopping you from doing so, and don’t let anyone stop you from getting yourself free.

23-year old self: The past years have not been easy, but if I continue to linger around and let it consume me, I will stay in the same place forever. I am really happy I decided on this sooner than I expected it. This is a decision you decide because you want to make things better for yourself, not for anyone else. If you let negativity tie you down, you will not grow for the better. Rest is okay, but it does not mean you should stay in that spot for too long. When you feel better, get up! Keep walking and moving forward.

16. Change is normal. 18-year old self: One minute you’re happy, but next thing you know it, you’re bellowing your eyes out because something unfortunate has happened. What I’m saying is, changes can happen all of a sudden in a span of a second, so you have to live with those changes. Cope, adjust if you have to.

However, never forget that you have to change too. It’s inevitable. Whether you like it or not, you will change physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically. But, it’s up to you how you will change. Will you change for the better, or retain the you now? Take your pick.

23-year old self: So much change has happened through the years. Some good changes, some bad changes. To answer the question “Will you change for the better, or retain the you now?”, I am more than happy to say that I chose to change for the better, and I will keep choosing to change for the better.

17. Live each day as if it’s your last. 18-year old self: Face it, you’ll never know when you’ll die. Isn’t it better to die having done all that you want to do in the world? Be happy, be carefree. Do what you want, be who you are. Make the most out of every moment that you have and be with the people who matter to you. Make a lot of memories that you can. Go out with your friends, explore, discover. Love as if there’s no tomorrow and live like you’ve only got one shot in your whole life.

23-year old self: This is hard, most especially when you are restricted because of people and your circumstances. But if there’s one thing that I learned in the past years, it is to always choose to be happy. Choose what makes you grow, what makes you happy, what is good, and what makes your life worth living.

18. The Guy up there will always be with you til the end. 18-year old self: May not be true for everyone, but true for me. No matter what age I was in, He stood by me always. And it is to Him I owe everything I have.

23-year old self: One of the truths that I got to see for myself most especially in my college journey. He made the impossible things possible, and He gave me so much more than what I deserve. His miracles in my life have been amazing, and I am so excited to see how else is He going to make me grow into the person I am meant to be.

19. Trust your gut feeling. Gut feeling is a feeling or thought you get when you are about to decide on something or when you are about to get yourself into something that is not really familiar to you. Sometimes it can come as a warning, or a random thought that you suddenly get out of nowhere.

Looking back in my 23 years of existence, my gut feelings have almost never failed me. Honestly, if only I listened to my gut feeling before, I would have not went through some of the things I went through. I am happy though that I listened to it more in the past few months, which also contributed to the place where I am today.

20. It’s okay to take a break, even retreat when you have to. Rest is a necessity. You will not be able to function properly if you do not give yourself ample time to take a break from everything that is happening. Some may do it through catching up on sleep, while others may find it when they play video games or do their other hobbies. For me, I caught up on much needed sleep from the sleepless nights in college, and played Call of Duty Mobile with my friends. Usually my retreat sessions happen in actual retreats, but given the current situation, I resorted to deactivating my Facebook account for the first time. It felt good, and it was something I needed before I start working in a few days.

21. Choose your battles wisely. In the recent events that happened to me, I learned that it was tiring to fight in every single thing that will not have any value in the long run. Energy is precious, and it should not be spent on battles not worth engaging in. Choosing not to engage in a battle does not mean weakness, it just means that you are choosing to spend your energy on battles where you will learn and grow.

22. Learn from your regrets. I have always lived by “Never regret anything that made you happy” ever since my high school days. However, as I went through college, regretting things became inevitable, most especially on bad decisions made and missing really good chances and opportunities that passed by and never came back.

Though I still believe in not regretting things that made me happy even just for a while, I learned that not all decisions that made me happy momentarily were good for me in the long run. Anything temporary will just be temporary, and in this life, things that matter and affect you in the long run will always be better. So it is always important to learn from those regrets and mistakes, and make sure that it does not happen again in the future.

23. The little things matter. In this pandemic, I have realized how much I took for granted the little things such as seeing friends face to face, on-site internship and office interactions, having dinners or late night walks, travelling around the city and watching in cinemas. Now, it is so hard to do that without worrying if you can catch the virus or bring it home unknowingly and put certain family members at risk.

Now more than ever, little things matter. So it is important to make the most out of everything, keep yourself happy, and make even the smallest blessings count. Be there for people who matter to you, and keep your relationship with them strong and worthwhile.

There you have it: 23 key takeaways from a life of laughter, tears, and everything in between. Here’s to celebrating growth and learning. ♡

#personal #growth

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