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cheriladycl01 · 5 months

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No because that hurt me! Lando Norris x Girlfriend! Reader Part 1

Plot: Lando goes one step too far ...

Warnings: Mentions of Assault (From a random on the street)

Credit to purplephantomwolf for the GIF

"Hey baby!" you grin pulling your boyfriend of three years into a hug.

You'd met Lando randomly, you weren't a model and you didn't have a rich dad. You weren't at all famous, you had a private Instagram account that only really had some of the drivers that Lando introduced you to like Oscar and Logan, and then Max, Charles, Carlos and Daniel.

You actually house-flipped, and properly house-flipped. Not one of those super rich people who come buy a decent plot of land with a small little shack on it and turn it into their dream manor. You however have built you way up, you and the team you work with. You were a graphic designer/ architect so you would design the houses and draw a floor plan, helping the carpenters when showing them your vision.

It was a great job, that was incredibly flexible when it came to travelling with Lando. At first it was stressful, being his WAG and everything. People didn't think you spent enough time at the track and weren't good enough for Lando, but you did try to constantly attend every race you possibly could, which made Lando more than happy.

He honestly liked, kind of keeping you bubble wrapped in a way. His other relationships had ended because of the harsh media and the fans and he didn't want that to happen with you. But this sometimes would get suffocating.

"Hey" he grins at you, he roughly pulls you into a hug that you return with a laugh into his shoulder.

"I'm so so proud of you, for your first Formula 1 win!" you exclaim, kissing his cheek and he kisses your head. Reporters flood around you as well as the mechanics and you start to feel a little crushed. You see Oscar and Lily to one side and Lily nudges Oscar seeing the look on your face and that you're looking a little flushed and panicked.

Oscar manages to pull you out and you thank him, laughing along with Lily as you regain your composure.

"Are you okay?" Oscar asks.

"Yeah, I'm going to go wait for Lando on his driver room. He'll want to celebrate tonight I'm sure of it" you smile. You walk off, waving to people through the paddock before entering the Mclaren motorhome.

You sit patiently waiting for him to come and meet you in the driver's room, just scrolling threw TikTok and Instagram making a post about your boyfriends win. You were so happy for him that you felt like you needed to share that with your few followers on your main account. You also had an account for your house flipping, that was public and fans followed you on there instead, so you made a story to congratulate him on there as well.

You waited and waited for what felt like hours, until you stepped out of his drivers room not hearing many people around anymore.

"Hello?" you called out.

You walked out through to find only a few mechanics left still packing away.

"Hey guys, where's everybody gone?" you ask starting to help feeling bad that there was only a few workers left on site. You look around seeing some light coming from the other motorhomes but it was similar to here at Mclaren.

"Thanks for the help Y/N but you don't have too, everyone's left for the night!" he smiles at you and you stop confused.

"Everyone? Even Lando?" you ask confused as to why he hadn't come and seen you yet.

"Oh yeah Lando, left about an hour ago? Went back to the hotel with Max and Daniel i think" he admits as he walks with you.

"He didn't come looking for me?" you ask and the guy has a thoughtful look before shaking his head at you.

"Oh, erm okay. Well, I'm sort of stuck here, can i help you guys at all with packing up?" you ask, hoping that one of the mechanics would be nice enough to give you a lift.

"Sure, come on!" he advises before showing you he little pieces that you could help them pack away. You stayed until Mclaren were pretty much done, but seeing your phone blow up with millions of notifications you decided to check.

Message from Oscah - Where are you? Thought Lando said you were meeting us here?

Message from Lils Z - Girl, where you at. I need you here at the after party :(

Message from Maxie Fewtie - Lando's being weird, where the hell are you?!

Message from P - Y/N, i thought you were coming with me and Max to the club? Aren't you coming?

You then move onto Instagram checking all the stories from you friends. You could see Lando was already at the club, up at the DJ booth Max feeling with Daniel dancing behind him. In Daniel's story you see Lando lean into a girl at the club as she talks to him, nodding at whatever she said. It made you frown at first but he was DJing so it was probably a request. But still why had he left without you and not bothered to text you.

"I'm really sorry, I'm going to have to go guys!" you exclaim, seeing all the notifs.

"Are you going to be okay, how will you get back?" the mechanic asks worry etching on his face.

"I can walk, it'll be fine and good for me to get fresh air. I thought maybe someone would have realized I'm missing by now and come and got me. I'll be okay!" you smile before pulling the hood of Lando's hoodie up over you head.

You make the cold walk and halfway through when you start to feel uncomfortable with how quiet the road is you try to call Lando, he didn't answer making you sigh and tears brim your eyes.

"You alright pretty!" A man exclaims coming up to you making you freeze in shock. He grabs your arm, making you gasp loudly looking round trying to catch someone's eyes for help.

"You seem lost, let me help" he grins, gripping onto your waist, a weak whimper coming our your mouth as you attempt to push his hands away. His breath smells horrid and his hands are cold on your exposed wrist.

"Y/N!" A voice shouts and you turn round seeing the mechanic from earlier and two other guys in the car all glaring at the man.

"These your friends darling, or are you a little slut with three men at your feet. You come with me, I'd give you a better time than these little boys" he scoffs looking at them.

"Y/N, come join us in the car" the one driving directs, you immediately go sitting in the back next to the mechanic who was in the back. Tears were streaming down your face at this point and you just wanted to go home.

"Y/N, hey hey its okay. He's gone now your safe!" the one next to you exclaims, pulling you in for a hug.

"Please, please can you just take me to the club Lando is at" you admit looking at Dan who was the mechanic driving.

"Yeah, sure"

In no time he pulls up in the center of the city in the club you'd all discussed going too.

"Thank you, I owe you lunch or dinner or something for this" you say tears still running down your face.

"Y/N are you sure your okay?" he asks, and you simply nod before hopping out the car. You run over to the VIP entrance and hold up your ID to the man, he checks the list nodding and letting the rope down so you could go through. Your walk round the club, the loud music pounding in your ears as you look for your boyfriend.

You lock eyes with Lily and Oscar first and they rush over to you, asking where you've been.

"Where's Lando, I just want to speak with him" you sob, leaning into Lily's comforting hug, sniveling and wiping it with the hoodie cuff. Oscar guides you round to a booth that currently occupied, Max, Kelly, Other Max, Pietra, Daniel, Heidi, Lando and a few others. As you round the corner everyone notices Oscar's sudden appearance and then yours behind him.

"Lando, mate look who i found!" Oscar tries grabbing his attention but he's one of the only people at the table right now that hasn't got your attention.

"Oh... yeah cool, ill be there in a min" he says noticing it you but not taking anything in, you look over at Oscar tears welling in your eyes just wanting a reassuring hug from your boyfriend and for him to either help you calm down, or take you back to the hotel.

"L-lando?" you stutter, and everyone is looking at you in confusion having no clue what had happened.

"What Y/N, I'm trying to celebrate with my friends that actually bother to turn up..." he huffs, everyone had noticed that he had a semi sour mood tonight, and now they had started to understand why.

"Mate, look lets take this to the balcony!" Max says, taking Pietra's hand trying to get her to stand up so he can let the girl whose sat next to Lando and the boy himself out. He noticed the tear stains down your face even in the dim-lighting of the club the minute you came over, him and Pietra having shared a look.

"Nope, if she's got something to say, she can say it here..." he grins, even though he doesn't normally drink, he'd had to many drinks tonight and it was effecting him.

"Lando, you don't want to do this" Oscar, tries stepping next to you, making Lando scoff.

"Oscar's right mate. Not tonight" Max agree's.

"She's a big girl, come on Y/N tell me why you cant even be bothered to fucking celebrate with me? Huh? You know what your so fucking useless and I shouldn't have thought you'd care for something as big as this for me... your jealous...." he slurs his words.

"Fuck you Lando. Just... I hate you" you cry, everyone at the table stiffens as your mouth opens like a fish, as if you want to say something more.

"I'm done, We're done, I'm not coming home to Monaco, I'm going back to London" you add, before turning round and storming out the club. Out the front you found a sober, Alex getting George and Pierre into Charles car, while he got Lily in his own.

"Alex!" you exclaim running over to him, he see's you and waves before pulling you into a hug.

"Can you drop me to the hotel please?" you ask and he nods.

The minute you got back to the hotel, you locked the main door before entering the bathroom and scrubbing your body raw. You looked at your sleepwear options, you normally just slept in Lando's older tops... but of course you didn't want the thought, sight or smell of him anywhere near you right now.

You fell asleep pretty quickly considering what happened. Lando didn't disturb you, you assumed he went back with one of his friends and slept on their floor or sofa.

You got up early, wanting to get the earliest flight back to London that you could. You were packing up when a knock came from the door, and then the sound of a key card swiping before the door opened.

"Morning baby, how are you?" a voice asks that you didn't want to hear. You keep going on about your packing, leaving Lando's stuff alone.

"Getting an early start to head back home huh?" he tries again, Lando looked at you, with concern on his face. He hadn't spoken to Carlos before he left wanting to come straight to his girlfriend who he was confused as to why he didnt wake up in their room with her.

"Ah your a grouchy morning person, why don't we go back to bed for a little" he laughs, about to touch your shoulder to pull you up before you shrug him off.

"Don't touch me" you whisper, zipping your suitcase up.

"What's going on with you baby!" he asks, pulling your chin up so your eyes met his and he almost gasped in shock when he saw the tears streaming down her face.

"I'm guessing you don't remember much of last night?" you say trying not to sound angry.

"No, I think Charles and Pierre had me do shots straight away" he laughs a little before turning back seriously.

"Why?" he asks.

"Well considering I broke up with you last night ..." you glare looking at him before he stumbles back a little from the pure shock of the statement. He was about to ask if you were joking, nut seeing your face there was no joke there.

"What? Baby... no what happened?" he asks looking at you. You snivel and lean for a tissue to wipe your nose.

"Figure it out, because i need some space right now... you hurt me Lando... and I need time. This isn't the end I just need to think" you say, pulling your suitcase up before walking to the door.

"Please baby, lets just talk about this. I don't even know what i did..." he argues throwing his hands out.

"No... because you hurt me! And you need to apologize for everything said!" you say tears in your eyes.

"Maybe talk to Oscar, Max and those Mclaren Mechanics that stay late" you sigh walking out the door leaving a shell shocked Lando behind.

A/N: I'm so so so sorry, i need to write more fluff instead of all these angst pieces... and some smut i gotta delve into smut coz I'm a pretty decent spicy writer... so look out for that too.

Taglist:

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#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 #formula one #formula one fanfiction #lando norris #lando x reader #lando norris fanfic #lando norris angst #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando imagine #lando fluff

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rrxnjun · 11 months

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where do broken hearts go? [lmk]

you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.

pairing: mark lee x fem! reader

genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.

wc: 12k (11.926)

warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic

playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz

a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)

When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him.

There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.

Step one – cry it out.

“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”

“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.

“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.

“Yeah, but–”

“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude.

He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.

First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all.

Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would.

And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.

And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.

“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.

“You know I hate cookies and cream!”

“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.

And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.

Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.

Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.

“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.

“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”

“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”

And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.

It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.

“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.

Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe.

“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.

“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”

“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.

Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…”

Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.

“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.

Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.

And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier.

And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose.

Couldn’t he forget about that too?

Step three – block his number.

The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.

Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one.

Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.

So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.

“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.

Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”

“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence.

“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.

“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.

“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.

“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”

“Mark–”

“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”

The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“You still there?”

“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now– as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.

“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does.

“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?

“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.

“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”

You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.

“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.

“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”

It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.

“What was it?”

“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.

“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”

The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.

“Good night, Mark.”

“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.

He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.

And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.

Step four – date someone new.

“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.

“So…?”

A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.

“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”

“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.

“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”

“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.

“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”

“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.

“I said he asked about you.”

“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”

Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”

“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”

“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”

Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.

Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”

Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.

“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”

“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”

“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”

“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.

“I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”

“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.

“No, that’s not it–”

“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.

“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.

“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”

“I have you,” you try.

“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”

You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.

Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help.

Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”

“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“

And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice.

And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car.

The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.

“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack.

Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.

Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this?

“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening.

“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place.

“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.

And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.

You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind.

Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain.

It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different.

Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?

After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.

Step five – avoid him at all costs.

Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?

Wrong.

Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?

And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike.

When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile.

“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.

You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.

“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.

Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”

Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.

“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”

Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.

Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.

It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest.

You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about.

You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.

You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning.

“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”

Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”

“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”

The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.

At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now.

“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”

The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.

“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.

“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”

Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”

“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.

“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body.

Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”

“Here, of all places?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”

Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface.

“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”

“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft.

“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?”

He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”

“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.

“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.

And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you.

“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.

“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”

“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.

A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”

His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.

And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more.

“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.

Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough.

“I love you,” he says.

And isn’t that all that’s needed?

A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?

“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”

“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him.

“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.

Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.

“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”

And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time.

Where do broken hearts go?

Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.

“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair.

“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”

“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him.

“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”

You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again.

You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.

“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.

Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.

“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else.

That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge.

And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.

He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression.

“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.

“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.

“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.

Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”

“Even us?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.

“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.

“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”

Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence. “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”

Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.

You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.

Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.

You guess your heart never really left the hill.

1K notes · View notes

elliesbelle · 6 months

Text

nobody compares to you

chapter 13

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, mentions of marijuana and descriptions of its usage, descriptions of anaphylactic shock, brief mention of needles, descriptions of anxiety, mentions of death, descriptions of jealousy, mentions of breakups, several flashback scenes, mentions of LSD and its usage, descriptions of acid tripping, ellie's POV, minors do not interact

word count: 9k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist

songs featured in this chapter (including a surprise audio AND drawing commission in the middle of the fic):

the aaron taylor song “i think i love you again”

the carpenters song “merry christmas darling”

palestine will be free

“Where the fuck even are you?”

“Not home.”

“Well, no shit. I’m literally sitting on your living room couch, dumbass.”

“Get out of my apartment, weirdo.”

“Stop procrastinating, asshole.”

Ellie rolls her eyes as a couple of bright yellow leaves slowly dance down on the pavement from the nearby trees on her path home. One hand holds her phone up in front of her with Dina’s face front and center on the screen through FaceTime.

Having just dropped off a rather large order to a couple of stoner sophomores living on campus, Ellie’d decided to take the longer, more scenic route home instead of the usual way she’d go every day. She had a “date” lined up with Daniela in about an hour or so, a meeting she wasn’t particularly looking forward to being present for. Having no real enthusiasm to actually be on time to meet up with her, Ellie was purposely and leisurely delaying her return home to get ready.

Dina, busy lounging on the couch in Jesse and Ellie’s living room, busies herself by finishing a bland, microwaveable box of mac and cheese she’d found shoved in the back of the duo’s full freezer. She was casually killing time talking to Ellie through video chat while she waited for Jesse to finish getting ready for their movie date night.

Jesse enjoyed dragging Dina along to a movie theater in the neighbouring downtown area that showed old and foreign films. Back home in Jackson throughout their childhood, he and Ellie would make Dina sit through old sci-fi pictures, cult horror films, martial arts movies in a completely different language and with no subtitles. Dina would sit in the middle of the two in complete boredom as she listened to them psychoanalyzing background characters who had two lines and spending hours explaining their personal interpretations of a single camera angle in some inconsequential scene.

When they all began attending university, Jesse was over the moon upon discovering the nearby theater and the kind of films they would show. Dina complained every single time, but she secretly enjoyed these date nights regardless, always arguing with Jesse on the way home with her own analyses of the movie they’d just seen. She was a little less enthusiastic this time, however, upon hearing that the film they were about to go see was an early 2000s Bollywood movie that had a running time of nearly four hours.

Jesse had just gotten home from working out at the gym and was busy showering, and Dina decided to preoccupy herself in the meantime by thoroughly berating Ellie for her disinterest and voluntary tardiness for her “date” later that evening.

“El, I really don’t understand why you’re even bothering with her,” Dina says after a huge, wet slurp of her mac and cheese. “Leave that poor freshman girl alone. You really don’t even seem to like her that much.”

“She’s still got Joel’s jacket and I want it back.” Ellie shrugs nonchalantly.

“Maybe if you didn’t pass that shabby old thing around to every new girl you see for a month…” Dina replies, not bothering to mutter under her breath.

“Oh, leave me the fuck alone, Woodward,” Ellie says, chuckling. “Slutshamer.”

Jesse jaunts into the living room, jet black hair damp from the shower and fully dressed, and spots Ellie’s face on Dina’s tiny screen. He waltzes towards the couch and, without any warning, stealthily snatches Dina’s phone right out of her hand.

“Hey!” Dina protests indignantly, trying to reach for it back.

Jesse ignores her as Ellie laughs.

“Yo, what the fuck, Williams.” Jesse scolds the auburn-haired girl.

“Wassup, Chang.”

“What the hell did you ditch me and the gym for earlier? Today’s our cardio day.”

“Had a huge delivery I needed to make,” Ellie shrugs. “Wanted two 40 bags on top of a few lavender pre-rolls. And they lived on the opposite side of campus.”

“A likely excuse,” Jesse scoffs. “I think you’ve been harbouring a secret, years-long grudge against me and actually hate me for some reason.”

“Oh, it’s not a secret. I do hate you.”

“Dickhead.” Jesse chuckles as Dina heartily laughs behind him with a mouthful of mac and cheese.

Before Jesse can continue to berate his best friend, his own phone rings noisily from the inside of one of his jeans pockets.

“Oh, look. Someone who actually loves and appreciates me.” He says indignantly, handing small-scale Ellie back to Dina.

Ellie playfully rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Jesse’s phone is currently buzzing and blaring with the personalized ringtone he’d set for your contact years ago shortly after you’d all met for the first time.

Dina, recognizing the familiar sound as well and noticing Ellie’s tight lips and rigid expression, quickly attempts to change the subject.

“So where exactly are you gonna be meeting up with the Daniela girl?” Dina quickly asks Ellie at the same time that Jesse booms, “Good evening once again to my absolute favourite person in the whole world!”

Ellie hesitantly begins to reply to Dina but cuts off almost immediately when she hears Jesse’s tone turn serious and mutter a name she’d come to despise.

“Oh. Hey, Anderson. What’s up?” Jesse says blankly. “Where’s—”

“Oh, shit.” Dina inadvertently murmurs as Ellie’s face immediately goes red with fury.

“Why the fuck is Anderson calling Jesse on her phone?” Ellie demands quietly of Dina.

“I mean… she is on a date with her tonight…” Dina reluctantly admits, knowing that lying to Ellie about your current whereabouts is pointless after figuring Jesse would eventually blab it to her anyway.

“Are you fucking serious?” Ellie seethes.

“I don’t really know why she’d be calling Jesse, though. That doesn’t make any sense...” Dina says, setting down her fork and turning her head back towards her boyfriend as Ellie watches intently him from the corner of Dina’s phone screen.

Both girls stare Jesse down as he intently listens to the other end of the line, the two getting more and more nervous as his face gets stonier as each second passes. When he finally speaks, his voice is grave and urgent.

“Is she breathing?”

“What?” Both Dina and Ellie simultaneously say in distress, which Jesse ignores.

“What did she eat?” He asks Abby.

“What’s going on?” Dina implores of him fearfully, sitting up straighter in her seat and completely abandoning her partially eaten mac and cheese on the coffee table.

Jesse holds up a pointer finger as an indication that he needs to keep listening as Ellie hushes her sternly, fiercely trying to eavesdrop on Jesse’s conversation.

“Okay. What did you eat?” Jesse questions.

The way Jesse’s face falls elicits a sharply drawn breath from Dina and drains all the colour from Ellie’s face.

“Did she have any?” He asks.

While Jesse listens for Abby’s lengthy response, Ellie quickly averts her eyes back to Dina.

“Dina.” She says hastily. “Where did Anderson take her tonight?”

“Orchards. It’s that fancy restaurant that’s like, right by here.”

“I know. They serve a lot of seafood there, right?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think Anderson ordered any?”

“El, how am I supposed to know that?”

“Well, does Anderson know that she’s deadly fucking allergic to shellfish? That she can’t even fucking touch that shit?”

Dina’s terrified face suddenly goes completely pale before she responds.

“I-I don’t know...”

“Does she have any pockets or some kind of bag with her?” They hear Jesse say. “See if she has her EpiPen in there.”

“E-El… I don’t think she does.” Dina stammers.” I helped her get dressed tonight and I saw her before she left, and I-I don’t think—”

Ellie nearly drops her phone on the pavement from how clammy her hands have become from complete fear. When she hears Jesse fiercely mutter a furious “fuck,” she immediately breaks into a sprint.

“Dina!” Ellie demands. “Give me back to Jesse! Now!” Dina hastily hands her phone to her petrified boyfriend without question as he quickly asks Abby to stay calm and give him a quick second.

“Jess!” Ellie breathlessly yells, not bothering to keep her voice down and without any concern for the fellow students she was alarming as she ran by. “Go to my room right now and search in the bottom drawer of my desk!!!”

Promptly and silently, Jesse darts in the direction of Ellie’s bedroom with Dina following closely behind him.

“There’s an old EpiPen of hers somewhere in there! I think it’s probably a couple of months expired now, but grab it anyway!”

Jesse and Dina unceremoniously bust into Ellie’s bedroom and follow her instructions precisely. After forcibly yanking open the bottom-most drawer of her computer desk, they begin to desperately rifle through it. After a few seconds of frantic ransacking through its miscellaneous contents, Jesse pulls out a thick, plastic cylindrical object with tiny lettering embellished all over the translucent plastic.

“Look for the little slot on the side of it that shows you some liquid-y shit inside!” Ellie presses him. “Is it still completely clear and clean, or is it all brown and murky?”

“It’s clear.” Jesse replies after quickly inspecting the EpiPen.

“Okay, go!” Ellie orders. “Dina’s gonna call 911 right now! Orchards is right around the corner from our place, so run! Inject the needle on the outside of her thigh! And check her pulse and see if she’s breathing, ‘cause you’ll need to do CPR if she isn’t! Paramedics probably won’t get there for another five minutes or so, so you just gotta keep doing chest compressions until they can get there!”

Jesse nods and immediately sprints out of the room after handing Dina her phone, placing his own back to his ear and quickly informing Abby that he’d be there shortly, firmly asking her to check your pulse.

Dina sets her eyes on Ellie, pure terror engraved on her face.

“Ellie, s-shouldn’t we grab the EpiPen she has now in her apartment? I think I know where it is, probably. Isn’t that safer than—”

“Her apartment is fifteen minutes away from that restaurant and Jesse can get there in two! We can’t waste any more time!” Ellie clarifies quickly. “Now, I need you to hang up right away and call 911 and explain everything that’s just happened! Go!”

Ellie doesn’t bother waiting for Dina to end the call and roughly taps on the red button herself.

She shoves her phone into the pocket of her hoodie and quickens her pace.

Her lungs winded and her heart threatening to beat out of her chest, she couldn't seem to care any less about her own breathing at that very moment. She trusts nothing else but her own feet to get her exactly where she desperately needs to be. She sees nothing and no one else but the pavement directly in front of her, cutting across the university’s campus through the fastest route she can think of in the moment.

Despite never having been a religious person in any way, Ellie begins to plead a desperate prayer in her mind to whatever god or deity that could possibly exist that you were still breathing somehow and that Jesse had found you and gotten there in time.

She takes a moment to pull her phone out and check how long it’s been since she ended the FaceTime call with Dina, seeing that a little less than five minutes had just passed. She considers calling her once more for any updates; but not wanting to risk being a possible distraction in case Dina is needed in the moment, she ultimately decides against doing so and instead wills her feet to move faster.

Unwelcome thoughts begin to involuntarily flood Ellie’s mind as she sprints.

She thinks of the last time you’d seen each other: that night of your heart-to-heart dinner with Jesse at Sterling’s. It felt almost fated for her and Dina to walk into the same restaurant at the same time that the two of you had been meeting. Ellie recalls the identical look of dismay on both of your faces, equally overwhelmed at the sight of one another. She can still feel the angry yet doleful tears that fell down her red cheeks as she stormed away from the diner, threatening to expose endless repressed feelings of remorse and heartache.

She remembers the day she saw your sudden reunion with Abby Anderson, you dressed in that beautiful floral sundress and very obviously flirting with the tall, muscular blonde. Her nails were so angrily digging into her palms at the sight of you two that she can still feel the phantom marks that had nearly drawn blood. She’d nearly frightened Dina, who was lounging on the living room couch with a joint in hand, when she busted into her and Jesse’s apartment with immediate choice words that were aroused by her unbridled anger.

She recalls the last time you’d actually spoken to one other directly after that miserable, unfortunate night of the Sigma Eta party, how taken aback she was at how you were still so undeniably beautiful underneath the pale moonlight. Having been sitting on the hood of her Jeep while she watched in amusement at your futile attempts to keep yourself warm, she thinks of the way your eyes were furiously and desperately trying to avoid her piercing ocean green gaze. The memory of the angry, fleeting look you’d given Daniela when you’d obviously noticed Joel’s old motorcycle jacket resting on her shoulders is one she can never forget; nor could she the air of raw, bitter indignation that radiated off you at the sight of one of your signature lavender joints nestled in between Daniela’s lips.

She can still feel the visceral rage that sparked inside her from Frat Guy Adam’s casual cruelty towards you, followed by feelings of heartbreak at watching the way your face had fallen at his words. The sheer remorse from pathetically having done nothing right when it happened still weighs on her. Ellie can never forget the simultaneous feelings of shame and comfort she’d felt after your heated encounter with her in the bathroom of Sterling’s: shame from being forcibly confronted with a reminder of the deepest regret of her whole life; and comfort at finally being able to see with her own ocean green eyes, after so long, the face of a person she once adored more than she did anyone else in the world.

Maybe even still.

Ellie eventually finds herself at the intersection right where her shared apartment with Jesse is located. Her hasty pursuit is frustratingly impeded when she’s stopped by the angry, glowing red hand at the crosswalk she needs to get past to reach Orchards, cars endlessly coming one after the other. For a few moments, she’s at least able to catch a much-needed, painful breath.

While she bounces up and down on her feet in impatience, very seriously contemplating running across anyway and risking being hit by a speeding car, Ellie thinks of one thing and one thing only: the first moment her eyes met yours all those years ago. The moment when she knew, deep down and instinctively, that everything had changed.

She’s brutally broken out of her brief reverie by the blaring of sirens booming from around the corner. Her head immediately shoots towards the sound and she watches as two ambulances with flashing red and white lights speed down the road and towards what she believes is the direction of the nearest emergency room.

Ellie wastes no time bolting down the crosswalk the millisecond that the orange pedestrian signal finally blinks to white, sprinting down the street of Orchards. She’s somehow able to spot Dina’s figure in the middle of a small crowd of people gathered next to the restaurant and immediately sprints towards her. By the time Ellie is able to reach her, most of the unfamiliar bystanders have dispersed with whispers. Her heart races as she sees Dina’s cheeks wet and dripping endlessly with tears.

“Dina!” Ellie huffs, using the last of her breath and energy to dash to her side.

“Ellie!” Dina sighs in relief upon spotting her friend.

They envelop each other in a tight embrace, Dina hiccuping slightly into Ellie’s shoulder.

“What happened? Did you guys make it in time? Is she okay? Where is she? Where’s Jesse?” Ellie rambles.

“Sh-she’s okay, I think,” Dina stammers. “She was breathing when Jesse got here, but her pulse was really slow. The paramedics got here a few minutes after Jesse did.”

She sloppily wipes her eyes with the back of her hands before continuing.

“They said that the EpiPen probably saved her life, said that she would have had a lot less of a chance if we had just waited for them to arrive. Expired EpiPen was apparently better than nothing, as long as it wasn’t too far off from when it did expire.”

Ellie takes a relieved breath in at hearing this.

“Thank god. Thank fucking god. That’s what I thought, but I-I honestly wasn’t sure. I couldn’t remember clearly in the moment.”

“How did you even know that?” Dina asks her in genuine curiosity.

“I-I… wh-when we were, you know, t-together…” Ellie mutters awkwardly. “I made sure to know, j-just in case.”

“Oh, Ellie…”

Ellie wrings her hands together and clears her throat in embarrassment.

“So where’s Jess? Where’s Anderson?” She asks, changing the subject and voice dripping in disdain at the last word.

“Jesse rode in the ambulance with her and the paramedics, and Abby said that she’d follow behind in her car,” Dina replies. “I stayed behind ‘cause I figured you were on your way and I wanted to be able to tell you what happened in person.”

“Thank you, D, seriously.”

Dina stares at Ellie earnestly for a moment.

“You really do still love her.” Dina says, not as a question but as a statement.

Ellie doesn’t respond to this remark, her lips tight and her ocean green eyes unreadable.

“Come on. Let’s go see her.”

You had been brought to St. Peter’s Hospital, the closest one located to your university. When Ellie and Dina had gotten there, they found Jesse sitting alone in the mostly empty waiting room. He was staring up at the dreary off-white ceiling, his left leg nervously bouncing up and down as one of his hands gripped his right knee. When he spots the two girls enter the room, he immediately jumps out of his seat to meet them. He pulls his girlfriend into a tight embrace and gives her a tender kiss on the forehead, and then he places a firm and reassuring hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

“How is she?” Ellie asks nervously.

“Unconcious still, but she’s alive,” Jesse replies somberly. “The paramedics in the ambulance told me that they were pumping her full of adrenaline; and so now, they’re either still doing that or they’re just trying to get her heart rate back to normal. Apparently, her tongue was so swollen and her throat closed up completely, so they’ve got to reopen her airways ‘cause she’s having a hard time breathing.”

“Oh, god…” Dina chokes out.

“Don’t worry, D.” Jesse consoles. “She’s gonna be fine. She’s strong, and we know that. They’re taking care of her, and she’ll hopefully be awake soon.”

“I know, I know…” Dina sniffles. “It’s really not like me to fall apart like this. But she’s like a sister to me, you know. I mean, she basically is.”

“Me too, babe. Don’t worry. We all love her too. No need to explain.” Jesse says.

Dina gives him a soft smile as he gives her another tender forehead kiss. Watching such a small but affectionate scene between the two makes Ellie feel as if she’s intruding on a private moment she shouldn’t be witnessing. Jealousy in the form of a knife in the stomach twists inside her while her heart aches to feel that kind of intimacy.

“Oh, shit, I should call her uncle,” Dina suddenly realizes, pulling away from Jesse slightly. “I think I still have his number from freshman year. He should know what’s going on.”

“Good idea.” Jesse agrees. “He’s one of her emergency contacts, but I’m not sure if he knows just yet.”

“I’ll call the girls too,” She continues, referring to the other girls who lived in the Wilson Valley building with you and Dina during your freshman year. “I know that they’ll also want to know.”

She pulls her phone out of her pocket before muttering a quick “be right back” and exiting the waiting room.

Jesse and Ellie watch her walk out silently. After a moment or two, Jesse speaks up.

“Are you okay, El?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, man. Don’t do that. You know what I mean.”

“I’m fine, Jess.”

“Dude.”

“What?”

Jesse turns his whole body to face Ellie straight on, crossing his arms against his chest and frowning.

“You’re completely red in the face, you look the most stressed out than I’ve ever seen you, and you’re here.”

“So?” Ellie replies stubbornly.

“Williams.” Jesse stresses sternly. “You know Dina and I saw everything you had in that desk drawer.”

Ellie says nothing in reply and Jesse continues.

“You literally still had her old EpiPen from like, two years ago. That entire drawer was full of her shit.”

Ellie clenches her jaw and balls up her fists.

“You still have all those old letters she used to write you all the time, all these mementos and knickknacks from when you two were together. You even have Barbie Bear.” Jesse points out. “Do you know that she’s been chewing Dina out nonstop about her for years because she thinks Dina stole her?”

“Look, she and I just stopped talking to each other all of a sudden before sophomore year. I never had an actual chance to give her all of her shit back—”

“You literally could have given them to me or Dina or even any of the Wilson girls so we could return them.”

“Look—”

“And what about the rest of it? Shit that you didn’t have to actually give back to her? It’s been years. You could have easily thrown it all out.”

“You don’t understa—”

“You didn’t even bother leaving all that shit back home in Jackson. You brought it all here with you to keep in our apartment.”

“I… I—”

“She could have fucking died tonight, El. And you’re still bullshitting me.”

“Jesse.” Ellie croaks out through quivering lips and watery eyes.

“You saved her life. She could have very well been in a worse state right now if it weren’t for you. You told me and Dina what to do. Nobody told you to do any of that. And by the sorry state of you, it looks like you just ran three marathons in a row just to get here and make sure she was okay in person.”

Tears threaten to flow down from Ellie’s ocean green eyes, and it takes every ounce of strength that she has left in her to will them not to fall.

“She means so, so much to me and Dina. And to a whole bunch of other people too. When she gets hurt, we feel that shit too.” Jesse says. “I need you to get your motherfucking shit together, Williams. Now.”

Before Ellie can even form some kind of thought in response to his declaration, Dina suddenly reenters the waiting room.

“Called her uncle and told him everything I know. He’s currently looking up the first flight out and he’ll hopefully be here sometime tomorrow.” Dina informs the pair as she walks over. “Just got off the phone with Astrid too. Most of the girls are either busy or asleep by now, but she said she’ll let them know too as soon as possible. If she’s awake tomorrow, they’ll try to come by to pay her a visit.”

“Okay, good.” Jesse nods in response. “Thanks for doing that, D. I was so focused on what’s been going on, and none of that even crossed my mind.”

“They deserved to know.” Dina smiles sadly before suddenly frowning. “But why did she even go into anaphylactic shock in the first place? They both asked me, but I realized that you never actually told either of us and I didn’t really know what to tell them.”

“She and Anderson were making out, and Anderson had eaten some seafood bouillabaisse for dinner. Apparently, it had a bunch of chopped-up shrimp in it that she couldn’t see.” Jesse says plainly.

Dina inadvertently glances at Ellie in slight sympathy, but Jesse looks at her with zero remorse on his face.

“She didn’t tell Abby that she was really allergic?” Dina asks.

“Anderson apparently had no idea, said that she wouldn’t have ordered it if she knew in the first place.” Jesse clarified.

“Anderson should have fucking double-checked re-fucking-gardless.” Ellie angrily interjects.

“It’s not Abby’s fault, Ellie. There’s no way she could have just known instinctively.” Dina reasons.

“Doesn’t matter. Isn’t she studying to be a fucking doctor? Isn’t that some basic shit that they teach at med school or whatever? She should have known better.” Ellie seethes. “Where the fuck is she, anyway? I thought she came along.”

“She went down to the food court for a breather.” Jesse says.

“Oh, she needs a breather?” Ellie sneers. “Yeah, go ahead and catch your breath when the person you almost killed tonight can’t even fucking breathe—”

“Ellie!” Dina scolds.

“Whatever.” Ellie scoffs.

“El,” Dina suddenly brings up. “Have you talked to Daniela yet?”

“What about her?” Ellie asks.

“Weren’t you supposed to meet up with her…” Dina checks the time on her phone. “... almost an hour ago?”

“So?”

“Ellie.”

Ellie clicks her tongue.

“Fine, let me text her right now that I won’t make it—” She begins to say begrudgingly, but she cuts herself off as someone else enters the waiting room.

Abby Anderson quietly walks through the door, sipping a plain black coffee from a styrofoam cup. She looks up from her drink and gives Jesse an awkward but polite smile which he respectfully returns along with a nod.

Ellie’s entire body goes cold with frigid, icy hatred, exacerbated when her furious ocean green eyes suddenly meet with Abby Anderson’s tired sky blue ones.

“Actually,” Ellie suddenly says. “I’m gonna give her a call and see if she’s still free to meet up tonight. I still want my jacket back.”

Both Dina and Jesse look as if they’re each about to interject with a response, but Ellie is too quick for either of them to say a word.

Ellie storms out of the waiting room, not giving a second look at Abby Anderson.

Ellie throws Joel’s old leather jacket onto her bed, sighing softly. She sheds her sweaty grey hoodie and throws it down next to the jacket before pulling her phone out. She proceeds to call Jesse, but she’s greeted with ten, empty-sounding buzzes before being redirected to his voicemail. She then attempts to call Dina but is greeted with an immediate automated message stating that the call could not be completed.

Groaning in exasperation, Ellie collapses into her desk chair and roughly kicks off her Converse. After a moment or two, she notices the bottom-most drawer of her desk and the way it’s hanging off the frame precariously. Sighing, she crouches down on the floor and begins to rearrange its previous contents.

At first, she shoves items back into the drawer at random, but she immediately pauses once her hand grazes across the fur of a pink stuffed animal.

Barbie Bear.

She picks up the stuffed animal and stares sadly into its plastic eyes. Noticing that the light pink ribbon around its neck has gotten loose, Ellie delicately attempts to retie it back into a bow. After a couple of lopsided tries, she’s eventually satisfied once she’s able to center the ribbon correctly. She carefully places Barbie Bear back into the drawer before returning to restore its contents with more consideration.

After replacing a few pairs of old earrings of yours into a small box, she picks up a stack of old letters that she’d tied together with a piece of brown twine. Ellie resists the urge to go through each of them, but when she notices that one had fallen out of the stack and is now lying on the floor, her willpower dwindles almost instantly.

Ellie picks up the envelope gingerly, almost as if she’s afraid that her touch will cause it to burst into flames. She reads her name on the front written with green ink and flips it over to where the flap of the envelope is torn open. She runs her fingers over the wax seal that had secured the letter inside: the design of Saturn amongst several stars. Nervously, she slips the card out from inside and unfolds it to reveal your handwriting.

Dear Ellie,

It is currently 4:27 A.M. and I can’t sleep, and for some reason, I can’t stop watching that story you posted on Instagram earlier over and over. The one of you singing and playing your electric guitar to that Aaron Taylor song. Not to be gay as fuck, but it is so easy to get lost in the sound of your voice. Also, I really like your lips. And your hands.

I know I said this yesterday already, but you’ve been overworking yourself way too much lately. I’m glad that you’ve been putting a lot of effort into your schoolwork, but have you eaten? When was the last time you had a full meal (microwaveable ramen does not count)? Have you been taking any time for yourself? It’s really sweet that you still make time to come hang out with me most days, but you need some you time too, you know.

Not that I don’t love seeing your goofy face all the time. I don’t know, I think me writing all that out is me casually acknowledging that I have attachment issues and attempting to work on it. Oh, well. I’m pretty attached to you, fucking dork.

Okay, heading to bed now. Hopefully, I’ll actually be able to fall asleep this time. But hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow (I know I just said that you need to take more time for yourself, but shut up). You’re always the best part of my day.

Ellie can’t seem to let herself read the final piece of the letter, the part where you’d signed your name.

She delicately folds the card once more and places it back into its envelope. Turning it over in her hand and tenderly running her fingers over where you’d addressed her name, she wonders if your handwriting is still the same as it was all those years ago.

Reluctantly, Ellie tucks the letter back into the stack before tying them all securely together once more.

Earlier That Evening

Ellie was fifty-two minutes late to her supposed “date” with Daniela. This was Ellie’s third failed attempt at reacquiring Joel’s old motorcycle jacket, and they had previously decided to meet up outside the coffee shop on campus where Daniela recently started working after the end of her shift.

But after Ellie’s unexplained absence from their meeting, Daniela bitterly stormed back home to her dorm. She had half a mind to say no when Ellie called her with a half-assed explanation and asked if she could come over to retrieve her jacket. But after giving in, Ellie arrived at her dorm room within half an hour.

It wasn’t a total shock to Ellie when she was greeted with a look of annoyance when Daniela opened the door for her. Ellie attempted to feign a guilty expression, but all that she could muster was an indifferent grimace. Daniela said nothing as she silently beckoned Ellie to follow her and come in, an AirPod playing music loudly in one ear.

Ellie took a quick glance around the place, never having actually been inside Daniela’s room before. The twin-size beds, old wooden dressers, and scuffed-up desks were an all-too-familiar sight for Ellie, having gone through the same torturous experience herself only a couple of years back in her freshman year. But a few things were different as Daniela and her roommate had attempted to really personalize their living area. Ellie tried not to make a face of repulsion when spotting a few Taylor Swift concert posters above one of the desks.

Daniela plopped onto, what Ellie had assumed was, her bed but made no gesture that welcomed Ellie to do the same. She merely stared at her passively as Ellie tried to avoid looking her directly in the eye.

“You’re an hour late.” Daniela pointed out.

“Only fifty-two minutes late.” Ellie attempted to joke.

Daniela only hummed in response, unsmiling. She picked up a faded brown jacket that was sitting on top of her pillow by the collar and handed it over to Ellie.

“Thanks,” Ellie muttered, tucking the jacket under her arm. “Uh, thanks a lot for looking after it. Needed it back ‘cause it’s really my dad’s old jacket.”

“Oh, sorry. I would have given it back sooner if I knew that.” Daniela replied, not sounding the least bit sorry.

“It’s okay.” Ellie mumbled awkwardly.

There was an uncomfortable moment or two of complete silence where Daniela continued to merely gaze at Ellie, unwavering and unapologetic, while Ellie focused her eyes on her Converse as she wrung her hands together.

“Hey, look…” Ellie eventually spoke up. “I really am sorry about being late. I just had a really important emergency that I had to deal with.”

“It’s fine,” Daniela replied remorselessly. “Tara told me that you suddenly had to deal with some shit.”

“Wait, what?”

“Tara. Tara Maclay. She works with me at Ruston.”

“Oh, right.”

Another awkward moment of silence.

“Your ex-girlfriend, right?” Daniela asks unexpectedly.

“What?”

“Your ex-girlfriend. The shit you had to deal with tonight.”

“Oh, uh…”

“No point in lying, Ellie.” Daniela shrugged. “Tara already told me the gist.”

“Oh. What did she say exactly?”

“Not much. Said that you needed to help deal with something for someone you both know. She didn’t tell me exactly that it was your ex-girlfriend, but it was pretty obvious. I read between the lines.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“She really shouldn’t have told you all that.”

“She was ranting to another co-worker and I overheard your name and I was curious.” Daniela shrugged again, unabashed.

Another awkward moment of silence.

“So you still into your ex or something, Ellie?” Daniela spoke up again.

“She’s not really my ex-girlfriend.”

“Whatever.”

Another awkward moment of silence.

“Well?” Daniela asked.

“It’s kind of complicated.”

“That’s just the bullshit way of saying yes,” Daniela rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t matter if she’s your ‘ex’ or whatever.”

“Look, Daniela—”

“I know we aren’t serious or whatever, but I don’t really feel like dealing with someone else’s ex drama.”

“There’s no drama. I don’t even speak to her anymore.”

“And yet you ditched me to go and help her out with something earlier.”

“It’s not like that. And it was also an emergency.”

“So you said.”

Ellie wasn’t sure why she felt the need to explain herself to a girl she barely knew. Part of her felt compelled to do so as if she could continue to actively ignore her feelings by saying these things out loud.

Another awkward moment of silence.

“God, you’re such an asshole fuckboy, Ellie.”

“Hey, what the fuck—”

“You know that you can get girls and do, but you just like to fuck around with them and play with their feelings.”

“Alright, first of all, you said yourself that we’re nothing serious. We’ve barely even done anything.” Ellie said defensively. “Second, I literally just said that I don’t even talk to her anymore! Not even tonight!”

Ellie scoffed as Daniela rolled her eyes once more.

“Look,” Ellie continued through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry that I was late tonight. And I get it if your feelings are hurt. But nothing’s happening between me and my ex.”

“You just said that she wasn’t your ex.”

“Sh-she’s— she’s not, she’s—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniela muttered as stood up from her bed. “At this point, I’m over it, and I really don’t give a fuck anymore. You’re hot and all, Ellie. But this is not worth it.”

She popped an AirPod in her ear once more and sauntered over to the door.

“Word of advice. Figure out your feelings for this ‘ex’ of yours and decide if you actually wanna be with her or not before getting involved with anyone else. Nobody deserves that hanging over their head, especially when you’re so clearly still in love with her.”

And with that, Daniela opened the door and peered at her expectantly. Ellie took the hint and walked towards her direction and through the doorway. Before Ellie could fully turn around and give any parting words, Daniela shut the door in her face.

Present

Ellie collapses onto her bed next to Joel’s old motorcycle jacket. She pulls her phone out again, contemplating calling Jesse and Dina once more. But realizing they’ll probably call her if they have anything important that they feel she needs to know, she drops the phone down to her side in defeat.

She continues to lay in her bed for a while, stewing in her unresolved feelings with nobody to confide in. Closing her eyes, her mind begins to race against her will with reminders of the path life led her down after you.

First was Marisol. Less than two months into sophomore year of college, Jesse and Dina were completely aghast to see Ellie walking around campus with a girl they’d never seen her with before. She was in Ellie’s Aerospace Engineering class, and Ellie had claimed to have had an eye on her since last year. Jesse and Dina watched helplessly as their friend flaunted her new girlfriend around everywhere for the next couple of months.

Ellie wasn’t initially sure what it was that attracted her to Marisol in the first place. She was naturally beautiful with her long, black hair and slender figure, and she was the textbook definition of a perfect girlfriend. It took two and a half months of overly extravagant dates and bouquets of Marisol’s favourite flowers and late nights spent at her dorm room for Ellie to understand what it was about Marisol that she was drawn to: it was her eyes. Down to the specks in her irises and how her eyelids curved, Marisol’s eyes resembled yours far too well. After coming to this harrowing realization, Ellie quickly broke things off with her tactlessly and with a half-assed, mostly untrue justification.

The next was Luz who she had met during her near-daily workouts at the gym with Jesse. Ellie spent several autumn weeks with them, allowing Luz to whisk her about to different parties with different groups of friends every weekend. But one fateful night when they had dragged Ellie to a party at the same Sigma Eta frat house where you’d both first met, a bad acid trip cemented the end of her time with Luz.

As Ellie’s dilated pupils focused intensely on Luz’s black boots, a pair very similar to your favourites, she felt a sensation begin to roughly tug at something inside her. From her spot on the living room couch, her eyes darted up to a spot by the wall where a small group of partygoers were congregating. She zeroed in on a random girl she’d never seen before whose multi-coloured features, as a result of LSD brain fog, began to morph into those of someone she was desperately trying to forget.

Once the last parts of the stranger’s face had fully formed to impersonate yours, she abruptly stood up from her slouched position on the couch, muttered an excuse to Luz about using the bathroom, and desperately begged Jesse to come pick her up immediately. After Jesse helped her click on her seatbelt in the passenger seat with a tight-lipped expression where he fought the urge to remind her of the significance of this house, Ellie never looked back and swore never to trip on acid again, subsequently ghosting Luz after that night.

A couple of weeks before winter break, she met a sweet and quiet girl named Simi. They met through a dating app during one of Ellie’s crossfaded swiping sprees at 2 in the morning. Ellie’s affair with her was extremely short-lived, ending things with her a day before everyone left campus to head home for the holidays. While spending the day hanging out at Simi’s dorm room as her new girlfriend packed for her trip home, Ellie suddenly and unfairly started a fight with her after Simi had begun to mindlessly sing the song “Merry Christmas Darling” under her breath.

Ellie had unkindly demanded for her to “shut up” immediately, understandably hurting Simi’s feelings. The fight was short and confusing, as Ellie had refused to elaborate on her sudden explosion. As she unceremoniously marched out of the dorm room, Ellie aggressively tried to suppress memories of you singing that same Carpenters song on a loop all of December of the previous year. You’d claimed you couldn’t get it out of your head and needed to sing it out loud at least fifty times a day so you could stop thinking about it. Though Ellie had playfully cussed you out and thrown several pillows at you on multiple occasions, that song now belonged to you forever and nobody else.

After Simi were strings of countless others, some who had used Ellie as their brief college lesbian experience and many whose names Ellie would never be able to recall. She never hooked up with the same person more than twice, never actually took another one out for an actual date until Daniela.

Ellie had found Daniela incredibly pretty when she’d first laid eyes on her on a warm September afternoon earlier in the year. She was lounging on the quad as Dina did her homework and Jesse lazily strummed his guitar when a group of freshmen walked by. Ellie hadn’t spared them a glance until one of the girls approached her, all shy and giggly, and said that one of her friends found Ellie very cute. After pointing Daniela out and asking for her number, Ellie shrugged and relented. She ignored Dina and Jesse’s identical judgmental looks and eye-rolls in her peripheral vision.

Ellie enjoyed the undivided attention of someone completely enamoured by her. Daniela was constantly responsive, did whatever Ellie wanted to do, and was always so eager to please her. Ellie’d bring her to the movies, go on long drives with her in her Jeep, take her to whatever restaurants she’d want to eat at.

To anyone who keenly observed when they were together, it was quite obvious who was far more invested between the two. Despite spending an ample amount of time with her in the past month or so, Ellie continued to keep Daniela at arm’s length. On multiple occasions when Ellie’d convinced Jesse and Dina to allow Daniela to accompany them, the long-time couple would watch how disconnected their friend was from this new girl she’d been seeing.

Dina would constantly give Jesse a raised eyebrow look that silently would ask, “Is she really serious?” to which Jesse would give her a tight-lipped, wordless grimace that replied with “We both know she’s a fucking dumbass.” They both placed bets on when exactly Ellie would eventually ditch this new girlfriend.

Unbeknownst to them, it’s Ellie who was so easily discarded this time around. Feeling so unmoved and unaffected about the split with Daniela, Ellie tries to feel some kind of guilt over her lack of reciprocation. It’s her own actions, after all, that landed her dumped in the first place. She’s never fully seen Daniela as an actual girlfriend, and she knows full well that she shouldn’t have strung her along.

But as she continues to lay in her bed, ocean green eyes shut and a hand woven through her auburn locks, she thinks of only you.

Ellie can’t remember a single moment in her life when she’s felt more in need of another person’s company than she does at this very moment. Unable to trouble Dina to be her listening ear as she always is or bother Jesse to bluntly set her straight as usual, she feels the loneliness of the gloomy, dark room creep into her guilty conscience.

Her fingers begin to mindlessly search her bedsheets as she continues to stare at her decrepit bedroom ceiling, seeking for her silver joint box that had fallen out of her pocket when she’d collapsed on her bed. Instead of the feel of cold metal, her hand comes across something smooth and warm. Pulling the brown leather jacket up to her face, Ellie’s mind murmurs a single word.

Joel.

She pulls her phone out to search for her father’s face within her favourite contacts. She hesitates for a moment but pushes herself to call.

Joel picks up after only two rings.

“Ellie? Jesus, kiddo, what the hell time is it?”

“Hello to you too, old man.” Ellie chuckles.

“Everythin’ alright?” Joel’s voice asks, tired but urgent.

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I guess.”

Ellie can almost hear her father sitting up straight in bed.

“What’s wrong, Ellie?”

“I-I…” She stutters. “Joel…”

With a whimpering tone, she suddenly recounts the night’s events in complete detail. Joel listens attentively, only ever interrupting with sharp intakes of breath and hushed, imperceptible asides. After listening to his daughter’s sorrowful spiel, he finally speaks.

“Oh, baby girl…” Joel utters. “I truly am sorry. It’s been a real rough night for all of y’all.”

“Yeah…”

“That poor kid… I’m glad she had you three lookin’ out for her tonight.”

Ellie says nothing to this, pursing her lips.

“How about you, Ellie?” Joel continues. “How are you feelin’ after everythin’ that’s happened?”

“I-I’m not really sure. I’m not sure I know how to feel.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to just yet. It just happened and all.”

“All I feel is so much fucking guilt, Joel. It feels like my mind is empty but overflowing all at the same time. I feel so motherfucking powerless and I don’t know what to do.”

There’s a moment of silence before her father speaks again.

“You given any thought to the conversation we had before you left for school, kiddo?”

Last August: Jackson

Ellie’s bedroom was full of boxes and bags packed with everything she planned to bring to college for her junior year. The space was slightly more barren, closet mostly empty and trinkets missing from her shelves. It was only a couple more days before she, Dina, and Jesse would be making their journey back to their university, and she was uncharacteristically ahead of schedule.

Leaning against her desk with a box full of comic books on the floor next to her, she was casually perusing an old graphic novel when Joel appeared in her open doorway.

“Knock, knock.”

“The door’s open, old man. Also, you can literally just walk in, you know.”

“Who raised you to have so much cheek against your elders, kid?”

“You, dude.”

The pair smirked at each other’s smart-mouthed retorts.

“Need any help packin’ up?”

“Nah. It’s pretty much done except for a handful of essentials.”

“Including that book you’re holdin’ right now?”

“Like I said: essentials.”

Joel chuckled.

“Well, the Changs sent over some dinner for us, if you want some. Wisa made K-kaw… Khao Tom Pa… no, Plah…” Joel stuttered, making an effort to pronounce the Thai dish correctly. “Khao Tom Plah, that’s it. She brought some over earlier, thought we might want some. She even made it without the prawns, just the way you like it.”

“Sick. She’s the best. I’ll text Jesse later to thank her.”

“Good.”

Joel lingered as Ellie went back to reading her comic, wistfully looking around his daughter’s nearly vacated bedroom. His eyes fell on a small box sitting at the foot of Ellie’s bed. It was an ordinary, cardboard box just as the others were, except it was heavily sealed with multiple layers of silver duct tape. He frowned.

“Still plannin’ on bringin’ that box?”

“What do you mean?” Ellie asked, knowing exactly what her father was referring to without looking up.

“You know you can just leave it here at home, right? It ain’t like I go through your doohickeys when you ain’t here.”

“So you do go through my shit when I am here?”

“Ellie.”

“What?”

“Why the hell are you doing this to yourself, kid?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“We’ve been having this same conversation for the past year now.”

Ellie finally peeled her eyes away from her graphic novel, tossing it on the desk behind her and crossing her arms.

“You’re the one who keeps bringing it up, Joel.”

“I bring it up because I know that you ain’t been talkin’ about these feelings with anyone. Not me or Jesse or Dina. It’s been a year since you ditched that poor girl, and you’re still sulkin’ over it.”

“She ditched me.”

“Hold your horses; we both know that ain’t true.”

“What do you want from me, old man?”

“I want you to be happy, kiddo.”

“What makes you think I’m not happy?”

“Now, don’t try to bullshit me. You can grumble and deny it ‘til the cows come home, but even after all this time, all you ever do is brood and pine after that girl. Plain as day to anyone. You ain’t been the same since y’all broke up.”

“We weren’t together.”

“Yes, you were.”

Joel ignored his daughter’s subsequent eye-roll before continuing.

“You still have the box, Ellie.”

“I just forgot I even had it.”

“And yet, you’re bringin’ it to school with you, just like you did last year. Why?”

“It was just in my closet stuffed in with all this other shit I don’t touch. Had to take it out while I was packing.”

“That ain’t amount to a hill o’ beans. And you still ain’t answer my question.”

“Sorry, dude.”

“Ellie. You and I would down to Beacon Run all the damn time back when you were growin’ up. You used to beg me to go for dinner whenever you had a hankerin’ to order that cheesy crab dip with all those chips and jalapeños and such.”

Ellie raised her eyebrow, unsure where her father was going with this.

“Then all of a sudden, a few years ago, you seemed to hate the place. You’ll maybe get a plate of fries and nothin’ else. Matter of fact, I can’t, for the life of me, recall the last time I’ve seen you eat a plate of seafood with any kind of shellfish in it.”

Joel’s greying eyes pierced Ellie’s ocean green.

“Two years.” He continued. “It’s been two years. You almost never eat any kind of seafood no more, and even the Changs never cook us anythin’ that has shrimps or scallops or anythin’ of the like.”

Joel watched as his daughter stubbornly struggled to justify herself. He sighed sadly.

“I wish you’d let yourself be happy, Ellie. You could be.”

“That so? How do you figure that?”

“First step is admitting exactly what is clear as day to everyone around you.”

“Oh, yeah? And what is that?”

Present Day

“J-Joel… I-I…” Ellie sobs. “I love her.”

“I know, baby girl.”

Joel helplessly listens to his daughter’s desperate weeping from the other end of the line.

“So,” He eventually asks in between her snivels. “What now?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She sniffs.

“Kiddo, why do you think your feelings don’t matter?”

“Because relationships do not work for me. Love doesn’t work for me.”

“Your relationship with her didn’t work. Past tense. It’s been years. It was a tough situation. You’re a different person now.” Joel clarifies. “And there’s plenty love ‘round you, kiddo. You got a lotta love in your life. I need you t’realize that.”

“Except I-I’m not a different person, Joel. I-I am just an older, slightly more experienced version of myself. I-I…” Ellie stutters. “I’m afraid.”

“Of course you are, kid. It’s only natural.” Joel replies. “But you can’t live your whole life closed off from the rest of the world. You need and deserve love, Ellie.”

“Except I don’t, Joel! I fucking don’t!” She cries. “God, y-you just, you just don’t understand!”

“What don’t I understand?”

“She almost fucking died!” Ellie nearly screams.

A silence falls between the two, only broken by Ellie’s hot and angry tears noisily dropping onto the old leather jacket. She grips it tightly in one hand before continuing.

“I-if… if none of it happened… if I d-didn’t do all that to h-her all those years ago…” She stutters between shaky lips. “M-maybe she wouldn’t be where she is now. She wouldn’t have gone on a date w-with someone who didn’t know about…”

Ellie chokes back a sob.

“I-I… I would have known. I would have t-taken care of her. I would never have—”

“Ellie.”

“She needed me, and I… I let her down. Not just tonight. All those years ago. I couldn’t be what she needed. I fucking failed her.”

“It’s not that simple, kid.”

“Yes, it is! Her cousin fucking died! He was her whole fucking world, and she loved him more than anything, and he fucking died and I… I ran. I abandoned her.”

The blurry memory of your sleeping figure in the passenger seat of Ellie’s Jeep appears in front of her, wrapped up cozily in her flannel as she drives you home from Jackson and naive to what lies ahead.

“I know… I know what I’m capable of, Joel. I loved her so much all those years ago and… I still hurt her. I hurt her so fucking badly.”

Your image transforms to one of you awake and livid, Ellie’s flannel torn off and tears streaming down your face. Anger and betrayal are etched all over your face, just like they were all those years ago. The shame she’d felt back then is incomparable to what she feels now.

“I don’t ever want to do that to her again, ever. I just can’t. I won’t.”

Joel sighs deeply before finally speaking.

“Ellie. That fear is always gonna be there. But you’re young, and we make plenty of mistakes in our youth. God knows how much of my past I used to regret.”

Ellie takes deep breaths as her father continues to speak.

“Everythin’ that happened tonight? None of it was your fault. In fact, I reckon you’re the reason she’s still livin’ and breathin’ right now. I’m proud of you for that.”

“All I did was—”

“All you did was save her life.”

Ellie sniffles but doesn’t respond.

“Look, kiddo,” Joel continues. “As someone who has known you for a very long time, I know how much of a good heart you got. You’re a lovin’ person who deserves love. I wish you could believe that.”

The sound of people entering through the front door echoes all around the empty apartment, but Ellie hears nothing else but the sound of her own agonized sobs.

author’s notes:

belle posting TWO chapters of ncty within less than two weeks of each other??? what is this, may 2023???

saury for not posting this right away like promised yesterday, like i said, going thru some shit rn! but i hope y'all enjoyed regardless ♥︎

i'll give you a kiss on the mouth if you guess the bollywood movie i vaguely reference at the beginning of the chapter :)

the idea of reader being allergic to shellfish and going into anaphylactic shock came to me one day a while back when i was eating something with shrimp and randomly remembered that i am very allergic to shellfish and instead of being like, "i should go take some medicine immediately", i thought, "hmm this would be a wild plot point for ncty" LMFAOOOO

anyway, this is your reminder that if you have an epipen, don't be stupid, bring that shit with you wherever you go sldkfjsdl

the more of jesse that i include in this series, the more i enjoy writing him. he's such a fun character to write hehe

i thought having abby sipping on some hot, black coffee when ellie fucking canonically hates coffee was so hilarious, i pat myself on the fucking back for that one

yes i also pat myself on the back for the line regarding ellie's ocean green eyes and abby's sky blue ones. i fucking love parallels and symbolism. i'm a whore for them, in fact.

btw dina doesn't respond to ellie's phone call bc her phone died (prob from facetiming ellie for that long earlier in the night) and idk, jesse's either not paying attention or being petty LMFAO

the reappearance of barbie bearrrrr, my babyyyy. idk if y'all remember, but yes, barbie bear is a reference to the actual stuffed pink bear i sleep with every night named barbie. i had planned since chapter 4 (which is the chapter barbie bear is first mentioned) for ellie to have had her this whole time because i'm a fucking lunatic LOL

i mentioned in the author's notes section of the last chapter how reader's letterwriting hobby is inspired by me irl cause i do that all the time for friends, but reader's letter in this chapter is actually loosely based on a letter that soulmate ex wrote me, it's not word for word exactly, i altered it a bit to fit the story better, but it's very close because i'm INSANE, anyway

yes "i think i love you again" is on my playlist about my ex-girlfriend and "merry christmas darling" is on his playlist for me, go away

ellie's clear aversion to taylor swift is both a reference to a previous chapter where jesse subtly mentions her dislike for her and also to my personal belief that ellie really would not like her as a person or an artist at all irl lmfao

the names of all of ellie's ex gfs or whatever are inspired by something very specific but that's another heehee secret trivia that nobody else but me will ever know about (let's be real, i'll prob tell star later LOL)

i named jesse's mom after one of my fave co-workers hehe (and the dish she makes for them is thai bc my co-worker is from thailand)

ellie's declaration of love about reader that she makes to joel has also been a long time planned now, idk why i knew it was gonna be chapter 13 when i did it, but i just knew it was. it was always the plan for her to confess it out loud to joel first, above anyone else

the final conversation between ellie and joel is heavily inspired by a scene from one of my fave tv shows, crazy ex-girlfriend. the scene makes me bawl every time i watch it. please watch crazy ex-girlfriend. so good.

we really are thirteen chapters into this series, huh? crazy. anyway, love y'all. <3

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 1 year

Text

Eisteddfod Chairs: Pick Your Winner!

It's almost June! Nearly time to reveal the 2023 Chair! So come, gather round Tumblrs, let me tell you of the furniture-based customs of my people

So Wales has been celebrating Eisteddfodau (festivals of poetry, music, and disco dancing), in some form or another, since at least the 1100s, when Lord Rhys of Dinefwr had one all formal-like and made it into a big fun party and that. The word basically means 'sitting place', and probably refers to the way people in summer would gather round the twmpath in the village to listen to bards that passed through and drink mead and shout 'hurrah!' a lot. Amazingly, this is not where the Chair Thing comes from.

Part of Welsh history is the Bardic Age, and it was custom for bards to travel the country and visit the courts of assorted gentry types (also normal people's houses and taverns and twmpaths but let's stay on topic) and play for them. If the lord paid well, great; if not, the bard would write a Super Mean Song about them and sing it everywhere, so they were pretty well treated.

But if they were particularly good, rather than making them play for the WHOLE meal, the lord would offer them a chair at the table to join in the feast as a guest, rather than a worker, and THAT is where the Chair Thing comes from.

Anyway that's preamble to say that every year in the biggest Eisteddfod of all - the Eisteddfod Genedlaethol - the highest honour awarded goes to the Prifardd - the bard who writes the winning cywydd (super complex Welsh poetry WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS). And the prize for writing the winning cywydd is that you are awarded, you guessed it, the Chair.

Now these Chairs (capital C, please, we like a bit of Fantasy Novel Capitalisation and for this cultural reason I will never understand people who complain about it) are unique. They are thrones. They are carved each year by one chosen carpenter, who crafts a one-of-a-kind Chair with symbolism and that, never to be replicated. They usually have the year carved on, but otherwise, they vary wildly in aesthetic and symbolism. In a No Award year (because Eisteddfod judges don't subscribe to the Western idea that there HAS to be a first, second and third place; if no one is good enough there is no award, and I have seen choir competitions for seven year olds where there was no first or third place but there were two choirs in joint second), the Chair is sent back to the carpenter who carved it, and they get to keep it. In a year where the bard died before the ceremony, it is draped in black, and given to next of kin.

(That has only happened once. RIP Hedd Wyn, 1887-1917. Also the only reproduced Chair; the original, known as the Gadair Ddu (the Black Chair) is on display in his family home, but a 3D printed replica has been made for display by Amgueddfa Cymru)

BUT THEREFORE a big part of Eisteddfod fun is seeing what the Chair will look like this year. Traditional ones, see, we tend to think look like variants of this:

(Apologies for the substandard attempts at alt-text; I have no clue how to describe these properly)

This one is from 1896. The phrase "Y gwir yn erbyn y byd" means "The truth against the world", and was included in a lot of old ones. Modern ones tend to incorporate the druidic symbol for awen ("poetic inspriation") instead. Some of these incidentally turn up in lil' chapels and that about the country.

But actually even the old ones were mad different, look; clockwise from top left, these are y Gadair Ddu (1917), 1876, 1926 (when the carpenter was Chinese and enjoyed the cultural fusion), and 1908.

Still the same theme, though, but in the modern day the carpenters are all off the shits! They're all over the place! Fuck the rules! And I have Opinions.

Category: I See What You Did There

SYMBOLISM!!! 2011 is a pit wheel from Wrexham's mining past! 2013 is the head of a harp, from Denbighshire's cultural harp-making past! 2017 is fish, from Anglesey's maritime present! Fantastic. Love it.

Best in category: 2017. Why does Anglesey's have so many eyes on the fish? We don't know. Wylfa B protestors reportedly furious.

Category: The Modern Throne

TALL!!! That silhouette! That height!! They have the range, darling! Christ knows 2016 doesn't have anything else going for it! Shout out to the Conwy river on 2019, the different woods from the forests of Maldwyn for 2015, and the red kite symbolism for Ceredigion in 2022 (the spiritual home of the bird, where the species was first saved).

Best in category: 2019, Conwy. I like the bridge and the river lines and the water effect on the front of the seat it's just so pretty.

Category: That's Just A Chair

(I am actually friends with the Prifardd who won 2018 at the bottom there :D )

WHAT ARE RULES WE JUST WANT FUNCTIONAL CHAIRS. Man even so 2014 was fucking ugly. You could have 2018 in your house. Around your table, like. Even 2012 has a sort of IKEA vibe that's boring but palatable. 2014 is only coming in the house under sufferance.

Best in Category: 2018, easy, and not just because it's the one I'm most likely to get to sit in one day. It's pretty.

Category: NO GODS NO CHAIRS NO MASTERS

WHAT

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN 2010

BRO I DO NOT THINK YOU TRIED

Best in Category: OBVIOUSLY 2021 I COULD PHYSICALLY MAKE 2010 MYSELF

#wales!#closed for cleaning on mondays #long post

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bingwriterxo · 10 months

Text

the shakespeare exhibit - part 9

pairing: tara carpenter x reader

summary: in which it's time to celebrate the holidays

warnings: implied smut

word count: 2900+

author's note: long awaited but finally here

previous part | next part

"Seriously?" Tara asked as she stepped into the living room, a mug of hot chocolate in each hand. Her eyes were trained on the television, which was displaying the Elf title screen in all its fluorescent-glory. "We watch this every Christmas Eve!"

"Exactly!" Chad said, twisting around to grab one of the mugs from her hand. His face was alight with joy, his eyes wide and sparkling. "It's a tradition now!"

Tara glanced at Mindy, who shrugged. "Don't look at me. I wanted to watch Krampus," the girl said.

Chad huffed. "And I told you I'm done with horror movies. We already lived through one." He took a sip from his drink, and his eyebrows raised the moment the hot chocolate touched his tongue. "Tara! This is actually pretty good."

Tara frowned. "'Actually'?"

The boy glanced away sheepishly. "Well, you know, you have the tendency to--"

"Burn things," Sam deadpanned from behind as she exited the kitchen, mugs in her own hands. She handed one to Mindy, who immediately started gulping it down, and then turned to Tara. "The last three times you tried to make anything, our fire alarm went off."

Well maybe we shouldn't have such a sensitive alarm, Tara thought, furrowing her eyebrows. "Whatever," she scoffed, rounding the couch to sit between the twins. She pulled the blanket off Chad and covered herself, ignoring his whines. "Let's just watch Elf."

Mindy reached for the remote, and just as she was about to hit play, there was a knock on the front door. Every tensed slightly--an involuntary reaction none of them seemed to be able to shake--and Sam stood, edging toward the door slowly. She looked out through the peephole, and Tara watched as she sighed with relief, her shoulders relaxing. She undid the locks, opened the door, and Danny popped his head into the living room.

"Am I late?" the man asked as he shuffled inside.

"Perfect timing, man," Chad answered, holding his hand out. Danny dapped him up quickly before settling on the armchair, leaving room for Sam to squeeze beside him. "Okay," Chad started, lifting his legs to put his feet on the coffee table, "Elf time."

Almost as soon as Mindy pressed the play button, there was a thud against the front door. Again, everyone sat up a little straighter. Tara swallowed, her eyes trained on the doorknob as it twisted slightly.

This is it, she thought. Ghostface is going to attack us on Christmas Eve, because why the fuck not?

There was another thud, softer this time, and Danny glanced around the room, resolving to open the door. Everyone's attention was on him as he crept up, looked through the peephole, and then chuckled.

"You've got a present outside, Tara," he said, undoing the locks that Sam had redone and opening the door.

A present? she wondered. It's too late for UPS to be here.

There, in the hallway, beneath the flickering yellow light, stood you, your arms weighed down by bags and a small red spot forming on your forehead. You grinned at the group sitting inside.

"Hi!" you greeted, lifting your hands to show off what you had brought. "I have presents!"

Tara scrambled to stand, hastily placing her hot chocolate on the coffee table, and launched herself into you. You stumbled back a few steps before setting the bags on the floor and wrapping your arms around her waist.

"Hey, pretty girl," you muttered into her hair.

She pulled back, staring up at you with a gleaming smile. "What're you doing here? I thought you were stuck in Zoom calls with overseas family members." She had invited you to the Christmas Eve excursions, but you had declined for the aforementioned reason.

You giggled. "I was, but we ended a bit earlier than normal, so I thought I'd come over." You glanced over the top of your head at the others in the living room. "I hope I'm not intruding."

"The more the merrier, buddy!" Chad exclaimed, holding his hand out as Tara twisted around to stand beside you. You simply stared at him for a moment before taking his hand in your own and shaking it.

Tara couldn't help the laugh that escaped her. Stupid, she thought. Chad seemed to be thinking the same thing as he tilted his head yet accepted the handshake.

As you pulled away from Chad, Tara glanced up at you. "Why did you knock so menacingly?" she asked, and then she looked up a little higher at the red mark on your forehead. "Did you use your head?"

You smiled shyly and nodded. "My hands were too full," you admitted. You perked up, whipping around and grabbing the bags you had left by the door. "That reminds me: I have gifts for you guys."

Tara watched you, sighing dreamily. She's so perfect. She'd be such a good mom. She shook her head. No baby thoughts, Tara. Now's not the time.

"This one's for you, Mindy," you said as you handed the girl one of the paper bags. "This is for you, Chad." He greedily accepted the package you held out to him. "Sam, for you." The bag was small and thin, and Tara didn't have to watch to know that it was another bottle of wine. "Uh, Danny, I didn't know you'd be here."

The man shook his head and waved you off. "Don't worry about it."

"Oh!" You reached for your wallet and drew out a few hundred-dollar bills. Tara's eyes widened. Who the hell carries that much cash on them? she thought, before shrugging and thinking, I guess when your parents have as much money as hers do, it doesn't even matter. You held them out to him. "Here! Merry Christmas!"

He simply stared at you, unblinking, for so long that it started to unnerve Tara. Hesitantly, like you would lean down and bite him if he moved too fast, he reached out and took the money from your hands.

"...Thanks," he said. Sam rolled her eyes and leaned toward him, whispering something in his ear. Tara heard the tail-end of the statement: "....family's rich." Danny nodded his head and smiled. "Yeah, thanks. Merry Christmas, kid."

You grinned happily and then turned back to the twins, waiting for them to open their presents. Mindy glanced at Chad, who shrugged and started ripping into the package you had handed him. He pulled out a pristine, red football jersey that had 'Bosa' on the back. Beneath the numbers was a large scribble.

"Holy shit," Chad said, his eyes practically bulging out of his head as he stared at the jersey. "You got this signed by Bosa?! The Bosa?!"

You nodded, giggling. "Yup. Or, well, my dad got him to sign it, but same thing."

Chad leaned back and sighed happily. "Man, you are such a great addition to his family."

Your smile widened at his words, and Tara thought you might start bouncing up and down as she looked at you, a soft smile on her own face. God, I agree with Chad for once, she thought. It's a fucking Christmas miracle.

"Okay," Mindy began, hesitantly opening her own bag. "I don't think you can top that, but let's see what's in here." With careful hands, she pulled out a framed poster, and her jaw dropped so wide that Tara briefly thought it had broken. "No fucking way! Absolutely no fucking way!" She spun it around so that everyone else could see, and even Tara was shocked to see a Stab poster signed by all of the original cast members.

"It was a little difficult tracking everyone down, but we got there eventually," you said, beaming. "I hope you like it."

"Like it? Y/N, this is the best gift I've ever gotten in my entire life!" Mindy practically shouted. Her face fell quickly. "No one tell Anika that. I promised her that the necklace she bought was the best thing ever."

A chorus of laughter erupted throughout the room, and while everyone was distracted, you turned to Tara. "I have something for you," you said, tilting your head in the direction of her bedroom. "Can we...?"

She caught on quickly, nodding fervently, and grabbed your hand, shouting out a, "Watch the movie without me!" to which Sam responded, "Door open, Tara!" Yeah, right, she thought.

Tara pulled you inside and, much to the muttering complaints of her sister, shut the door behind you. She led you to her bed, where you sat on the edge of it and pulled something from your pocket.

"It's just something small," you started, glancing away shyly, "because your real gift is coming tomorrow, but I just...I wanted to give it to you today." She smiled at your nerves, thinking, She's just too cute. Too fucking cute.

She sat beside you. "Okay," she said. "But, just so you know, I only got you one gift."

You giggled and held the gift out. It was a small envelope, tiny enough to have fit in the pocket of your sweatpants, with your scrawl on the front. Tara furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at it and then took it from your hand. With slow and steady fingers, she opened the envelope, shivers running up her back as she realized what it was.

"It's your museum ticket," you said, watching her carefully, "from the day we met. Or, well, it's a copy of your ticket, since, you know, you have--or, had--the original." You shrugged and bit your lip. "I thought it would be a cute memento, but if it's dumb, you can just--"

She leaned in and shut you up with a soft kiss, trying to put all of the love she felt for you into it. When she pulled away, you were a blushing mess, and your words had died on your tongue.

"How did you get this?" she asked, looking back at the ticket.

You scratched at the back of your neck. "After I realized this was something"--you gestured between the two of you--"I scoured through the computer one day after work looking for your last name. There aren't very many Carpenters, so it wasn't too difficult."

That does it. Official. She's the very best thing that's ever happened to me.

"I love you, you know that?" Tara murmured softly.

You grinned. "Yeah, I do." You kissed her. "And I love you, too."

She grinned at you. "Since my door's shut, let me give you part of your Christmas gift," she said, and you blushed at the implication. She kissed you again and pushed you onto your back, easily hovering over you. "Merry Christmas, baby."

* * *

The sun shining in Tara's eyes woke her up. She turned over groggily, pressing her head into your neck, and you grumbled a little, shifting as you were woken up by her movements. Before even saying a word, you leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Morning, pretty," you said, your voice low and scratchy and filled with sleep. Tara melted at the sound, just like she did every time the two of you had a sleepover.

"Merry Christmas, baby," she offered, and your eyes shot open.

"Holy fuck." You sat up quickly, leaving Tara scrambling and confused as you reached for your phone. "Fuck, Tara!" You slipped out of her bed and immediately started getting dressed, stumbling around her room.

She sat up, the sheet pooling around her waist. "What?"

"We're gonna be late!" You pulled your shirt over your head. "Shit, the boys are gonna be so mad that they have to wait to open their presents."

Tara fell onto her back, groaning. This is gonna be a long day, she thought.

* * *

You bursted through the front door of your house, gifts nearly falling from your arms, and were immediately greeted by your brothers.

"Merry Christmas!" you shouted, and the boys swerved around you and headed straight for Tara.

"Tara! Tara!" Eddie cheered. "What'd you get me?"

"Please tell me you didn't get him any cologne. He's been spraying that stuff like mad recently," Nate said, elbowing his brother.

How did I forget how...energetic...they are? Tara wondered. "I'm not telling you," she said to Eddie, and then turned to Nate and said, "But no, it's not cologne."

Eddie frowned. "Darn."

"Oh, thank goodness!" Nate cheered. "Come. Mom and Dad are waiting by the tree. We've been up for hours waiting for you two."

"Hours and hours and hours," Eddie added, grabbing Tara's wrist and tugging her toward the family room.

Hours and hours and hours, she mocked in her head, and then she felt a little bad for mocking a child.

"Why've you guys been up for so long?" you asked as you followed close behind, the gifts blocking your sight slightly. Tara had offered to take some from you, but you had refused.

"Lia woke up early," Nate started.

"So we all woke up early," Eddie finished.

"Plus, grandpa was making pancakes," Nate said.

"And you know how his pancakes are," Eddie added.

When the four of you finally reached the living room, your parents stood.

"The prodigal daughter returns!" your father exclaimed, just as he had when he saw you at Lia's birthday party.

You set the presents down and rushed forward, pulling both of them into a hug. "Hi, guys!" You pulled back and they stepped up, taking Tara into their arms one by one. Even your grandmother offered Tara a hug. "So, presents?"

"Yes!" Nate shouted.

"Finally!" Eddie cheered.

Needless to say, the process of opening presents was chaotic—so much so that, just for a split second, Tara regretted saying yes to coming. You and the adults were calm, carefully unwrapping your presents and ooh-ing and ahh-ing at each one. The boys, on the other hand, left a trail of little pieces of wrapping paper and gift bags and bows, and Lia ended up spitting up everywhere at one point.

This is it, Tara thought at one point as she watched your family. This is every Christmas for the rest of my life. And when the boys opened their presents from her--an edition of an Emily Dickinson book for Nate and a game of COD for Eddie--and basically tackled her as their thank-you's, she thought, Maybe it's not so bad. Yeah, she decided as they cheered and yelled and started bursting out into random Christmas songs, this isn't so bad.

Finally, after everything had finally finished, and there were just two more presents left to give, the rest of the family excused themselves to make lunch in the kitchen. It was you and Tara sitting by the tree alone, neither of you having exchanged your own gifts yet.

"Do you want to go first?" you asked, shifting where you sat, your eyes flickering around.

She's nervous, Tara realized quickly. Awe, she's nervous!

To try to quell your worries, she nodded. "Sure." She grabbed her gift for you, which was neatly wrapped with a little bow on top. Unfortunately for her, she had Chad to thank for the wrapping, but she'd never admit it as you complimented her on how crisp the paper was.

With careful hands, you unwrapped your present, revealing a small ring box. You furrowed your eyebrows as you opened it, and Tara gulped as she watched your eyes widen and your jaw drop.

"Oh my god," you muttered. "Oh. My. God." You pulled the ring from its box. "It's a signet ring! It's Shakspeare's signet ring! I've been looking for one of these for forever!" You slipped it onto your pinky, and Tara sighed with relief when it fit. You brought your hand closer to your face, inspecting the ring. "It even has the heart loop!"

"So, you like it?" Tara asked.

You looked up, a huge grin pulling at your lips and your eyes sparkling with pure joy. "I don't even have the words to describe how much I love it, Tar. Thank you."

She smiled. "Merry Christmas."

You glanced back down at the ring. "Where did you find this?" you asked.

Oh, shit. Should I be honest? God, I should. Damn it. "Uh, I drove up here a few days ago and your brothers and I went shopping. Nate saw it in that antique shop downtown."

You chuckled. "You asked my brothers to help you?" Your voice was light, teasing, and Tara blushed up to her ears.

"...Yes."

You cooed, reaching out to run your thumb along her cheek. 'That's adorable, baby."

"Shut up," she mumbled. "Your turn."

"Okay. Right. My turn." You picked up the little box left beneath the tree and handed it to Tara, breathing out shakily as you did. "I hope you like it."

She was a lot less gentle than you were, eager to know what you had gifted her. She tore through the wrapping paper and tilted her head as a tiny cardboard box revealed itself. When she opened it, she found a gold necklace inside, an emerald pendant dangling from its chain.

"This is beautiful," she said, looking up at you. "Like, seriously beautiful. I don't even know what to say." She lifted it from the box carefully, letting the pendant dangle in the air.

"It was my great grandmother's," you rushed out, and Tara's eyes shot toward you. "It's passed down to each first born in the family on my mom's side, and we're meant to give it to...to the person we want to spend forever with."

Forever. Tara grinned. I like the sound of that.

"I know it's still early in our relationship," you continued, glancing away, "but I'm confident in this." You looked at her, a soft smile playing on your lips. "I'm confident in you."

She shot forward, wrapping her arms around your neck and engulfing you in the tightest hug she could manage. "I'm confident in this, too," she admitted. She pulled back, holding the necklace out to you. "Help me put it on?"

With ease you clasped it around her neck, and when she turned back around, she swore your eyes were sparkling.

"It looks perfect," you said breathlessly. "It's perfect."

You're perfect, she thought. This is perfect. Everything's perfect.

"Hey," she said, calling your attention. "I love you."

You smiled. "I love you, too, Tara. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Y/N."

#museum tara #tara carpenter x reader #tara x reader #tara carpenter #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #jenna x reader #scream 5 #scream 6

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the-oblivious-writer · 8 months

Text

After the Storm |One-shot [1]|

Tara Carpenter x Spider-Woman!Reader

One-shot One: Vigilantes & Branzino

Summary: Tara invites you over for dinner in hopes you and Sam could get off on the right foot. But of course, things don't go her way

Warning(s): Swearing, police!Sam, & vigilante slander (?)

Notes: Here's that one-shot I promised and for quick background context the other people at the table during dinner are: Mindy, Chad, Anika and Quinn

Masterlist

“Hi.” You heard out of the blue; you looked up from your book to find Tara looking at you as you took out your headphones.

“Hi,” you replied with a small smile.

“Do you like branzino?” She randomly asked. You furrowed your eyebrows a bit, tilting your head as you looked a little confused.

“You know, like a fish?”

“Mhm, no, no,” you let out a small chuckle, “I know. I know,” you shrugged.

“Well, if you want, you can come to this address at eight o’ clock?” She proposed as she wrote something down on a piece of paper, soon handing it to you.

“My roommate, Quinn, is making branzino. She’s been testing out these, like, new recipes and stuff and tonight is branzino night so, yeah…that was a lot of unnecessary information, sorry,” Tara let out an embarrassed laugh as you only looked at her with fondness.

“Don’t be, I like hearing your voice,” you told her genuinely, now looking down at the piece of paper. Tara looked away as she felt heat rush to her cheeks. She looked back at you as she wore a bright smile.

“Oh, and it’s apartment twenty sixteen…I didn’t write that part down—I don’t know why I didn’t,” she said, growing a bit flustered.

“I’ll remember it,” you told her, looking up from the paper and at her.

“Okay…” Suddenly she could hear her name being called from a few feet away. She looked over to see Chad, Mindy and Anika, waving at her. She waved back before looking back at you.

“I gotta go but, uh, twenty sixteen!” She called out as she walked over to her friends.

You responded by tapping your temple with your index finger, looking at her for a couple more seconds before you continued reading.

—

Tara was sitting on her bed, looking at her laptop when she heard soft knocks on her window. She looks up from her laptop to find you on her fire escape. A smile grazes her face as she puts down her laptop and goes to her window to open it.

“Hi,” she greeted after sliding the window up. You reply with a loving grin and Tara can’t help but giggle. “How did you get out there?”

“Uh, fire escape. Your doorman’s intimidating,” you responded as you came inside the room.

“It’s twenty stories.”

You looked at her for a couple seconds before saying, “Yeah..”

You were now fully in her room, standing in front of her. You looked around and wore a smile; the room felt like Tara. “So this is your room?”

“Yes, this is my room,” Tara answered, looking at you as your eyes wandered the room.

“Of course…it’s yours,” you add, pulling a laugh from the younger Carpenter.

“Oh hey, uh, I got your sister, uh, these,” you told her as you took off your backpack and took out a bouquet of flowers. Well…if they even still qualify as such.

Tara saw you take out the damaged bouquet; the flowers were bent, each one going in different directions, and pedals were clearly missing. But you somehow still made them beautiful to her.

“Oh—oh lovely.”

“Yeah, they’re beautiful right?”

“They’re beautiful.”

“They—they were nice,” you spoke before raising the bouquet to cover your face in a poor attempt to hide the embarrassed smile you wore.

“No, they’re beautiful,” she said as she looked at your embarrassed state.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized under the flowers.

“No, it’s impressive. They actually held together very well,” Tara nodded as she spoke, trying not to laugh any more.

“I’m gonna keep these…” Tara let out a short laugh, giving you a smile that you’ve grown to admire so much.

As you put the flowers back in your back, you heard Tara speak again. “Do you have your suit?” She asked, catching you off guard. Suit? Did she see it?

You instantly lift your head up, looking at her. “My suit?”

“It’s for dinner… Are—are you gonna wear that? A dress is fine too—” Just then the door opens and Sam's voice could be heard.

“Hey, Tar,” Sam's expression changes when her eyes meet you, clearly not expecting you to be in Tara’s room. Tara’s eyes go wide and your mouth is slightly open as you both look at the police captain.

She makes a couple steps forward before finally saying, “You must be Y/N.”

“Sam, this is Y/N.” Tara looks over at you, silently begging you to say something.

You hesitantly look at Tara then back at Sam, not sure if you’re reading the singles right. “Hey, nice to meet you ma’am,” you finally said as you walked over to Sam with your hand raised.

“Nice to meet you,” Sam responded as she shook your hand, voice lacking enthusiasm. You ignored the look she gave, only responding with a short yet soft smile.

“Dinner’s ready,” the police captain informed, “hope you like branzino.”

“Who doesn’t?”

—

You awkwardly poke at the fish with your knife, not really sure where you were even supposed to be cutting; how the hell were you supposed to do this?

Anika looked over at you as you struggled to figure it out. “You're having trouble there, aren’t you; the head goes on the other—Chad, help Tara’s friend with her fish,” she said, causing you to grow even shyer.

“Oh, I uh, I have no idea” you awkwardly chuckle, putting a timid on your chest.

“First time,” Chad said with a single nod as he began to cut your fish.

“Branzino,” you heard Tara whisper at you from across the table

“Hey, Sam, did you catch that spider chick yet?” Mindy inquired, you slowly lifted your gaze and averted it to the police captain who sat by you.

“No, we haven't caught her yet. But we will. She’s an amature who’s assaulting civilians in the dead of night, she’s clumsy, she leaves clues, but still dangerous.” After you swallow the bite you took of your fish, you look at her deep in thought.

“She’s assaulting—she’s assaulting people,” you say, as if absolutely stunned by the accusation—in a way you were.

Sam slightly furrowed her eyebrows at you but before she could get a word out, you continued. “I mean, I saw that video,” you do a slight nod, “with—with her and the car thief.” Tara watched as she knew what was about to unfold, taking a deep breath in and out.

“And—and I think most people would say she was…providing a public service.”

“Most people would be wrong,” Sam responded with certainty in her voice, “If I wanted the car thief off the street, he’d already be off the street.”

“So why wasn’t he then?” You asked, coming off as more of a smart ass than intended. Tara let out an awkward laugh as she felt the tension thicken with your response.

“Let me illuminate, you see, the car thief was leading us to the people who run the entire operation. It's been a six month long sting. It’s called strategy—I’m sure you’re aware of the term strategy? You’ve probably heard about that in school?”

You nodded along to the police captain’s words before answering with a quiet, “Yeah.”

Tara looked over at Quinn with a look that read “You’re kidding me, right?” Quinn tried to give her a reassuring smile.

“Well, obviously she didn’t know you had a plan,” you suddenly add before taking another bite of the branzino.

“You seem to know an awful lot about this case; you know something we don’t know? I mean, whose side are you on here?” Sam’s voice slightly raised as she spoke.

“No, I’m not on anyone’s side; I saw a video on the internet–”

“Oh, you saw a video on the internet. Well, then the case is closed.”

Tara ran her hands down her face as Chad and Mindy watched with amused expressions.

“Well, no I’m just sayin’ that if you watch the video—maybe I can send you a link. It looks like—it looks like,” Sam slightly raised her hand to you, not wanting to hear anymore of this. “She’s really trying to help you.”

“Yeah, sure on the internet she must be made to look like some sort of masked hero or something.”

“No, no, no, I’m not saying she’s a hero, I don’t think she’s a hero at all–”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying she’s tryna’ help, but it looks like she’s trying to do something maybe the police can’t.”

“Something the police can’t?” Sam’s expression somehow grew even more frustrated.

“I don’t know.” You responded, hiding behind bites of your branzino.

“What do you think we do all day? You think we just sit around, eating donuts, with our thumbs planted firmly up our asses?”

“Sammy,” Tara sighed, putting down her utensils. Quinn gave Sam an unimpressed look as she said, “Sam,” in a firm tone.

“Up your what, Sam?” Mindy asked, earning her a light slap to the shoulder from Anika as Chad did a terrible job of containing his laughter.

“I think she stands for what you stand for, ma’am,” you finally say. “Protecting innocent people from bad guys.”

“I stand for law and order, kid. That’s what I stand for, okay? I wear a badge; this chick wears a mask like a—like an outlaw. She’s hunting down a bunch of criminals that all look the same, like she’s got some personal vendetta. But she’s not protecting innocent people, Ms. Y/L/N.” Sam’s words came crashing down with each one she spoke.

Suddenly, Tara puts her fork back down and pushes her chair back to stand up. “Let's get some air, Y/N.” You mentally curse yourself for screwing up dinner.

“Sam, we need to talk.”

“Yes we do,” Sam replied before taking a sip from her glass.

“Thank you for having me. I’m sorry if I insulted you—it was not my intention,” you apologized before getting up from your seat.

“You're welcome.” Sam replied before harshly placing down her cup.

“The branzino was really good, thank you,” you complimented, earning a smile from Quinn. “You're welcome,” you heard Quinn say as you walked away from the table, following Tara to wherever she was leading you.

—

Your hands were in your pocket as you followed Tara closer out on the roof. “Well that was something,” Tara finally spoke, earning a timid chuckle from you.

“Sorry…you know I thought she was gonna arrest me at one point?” You both looked over the edge, looking at the city streets below you.

“Nah, I wouldn’t let her arrest you.”

You quietly sigh, leaning forward and resting your forehead. Tara looks at you, thinking to herself before asking, “What happened to your face?”

“I wanna tell you something,” you immediately reply.

“Oh,” Tara lightly laughed. “Okay.”

You both turned and faced each other, now getting to admire the other’s eyes. You exhaled, struggling to muster the right words to tell her. How do you tell the woman of your dreams you’re Spider-Woman?

“I’ve been bitten.”

Tara couldn’t help the love struck smile that grew on her face as she softly responded, “So have I…”

Once you realized what she meant you let out a light, “Oh,” and smiled. She slowly leaned closer and you did the same but stopped yourself once you remembered what you were doing.

“Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay—I gotta tell this one thing, I gotta tell this one thing, I gotta tell you this one thing, and it’s about the—the vigilante and the car thief, alright?” Tara’s expression turned to disappointment; the conversation wasn’t exactly what she had hoped it would be.

“Oh, okay,” Tara backed away a bit.

You slightly furrowed your eyebrows at her. “No, no, no, no, no,” you repeatedly said as you shook your head and waved your hand. “No, no, don’t–”

“Okay.”

“Okay, no. Forget that. I’m not gonna talk about that. I’m gonna talk about me, okay?”

“What about you?”

“It’s… I wish I could just,” you gestured to your mouth with your hands, “I can’t. It’s hard to say.”

“Just say it,” Tara said, giving you a comforting look.

“No, no, no, no…” You turned over, leaning to look over the edge.

“Just say it…”

You only responded with a deep exhale, not being able to spit out the words.

“What?” Tara leaned over to you, and you turned your head to look at her before shaking your head and turning back.

Tara lightly rolled her eyes, “Nothing, forget it,” she let out defeatedly as she began to walk away.

In a split second decision, you impulsively shot a web at Tara and pulled her back to you. She landed in your arms, holding onto them as one hand held onto her waist and the other reached up to her neck.

She looked at you with a stunned expression but before she could get a word out, you softly pulled her in by the back of her neck and your lips made contact. Your other hand reaches up from her waist to cup her jaw. You both melted into the kiss as it grew deeper and deeper with each second.

You both pulled away to catch your breath. “You’re–”

“Shut. Up.” You interrupted before pulling her back into the kiss.

Tara smiled into that kiss and held onto your collar, pulling you in as close as she could. Your hands moved down to her waist as her other hand moved to wrap around your neck, pulling you in more.

“Tara?” Somebody called out, but you both were too distracted to notice.

“Tara–” You both finally heard, pulling away as Mindy stood at the rooftop door.

“Uh, Sam wants you to come inside—right away.”

“Okay…”

Mindy looked over at Tara when she realized she hadn’t moved at all, “Tara, come on. You can make out later.”

Tara rolled her eyes as she felt her cheeks heat up. “I’m coming,” Tara sighed, moving away from the rooftop’s ledge as Mindy went back inside.

Tara and you shared a single look before she let out a laugh of disbelief, clearly not expecting this to be the night she finds out you’re Spider-Woman—or any night for that matter.

You start to follow her when suddenly your senses go off, causing you to turn to your right and look out at the city. A city that needs you.

Tara stopped and turned when she realized you were no longer following her. She saw you looking out at the city as police sirens rang. You took a few steps as your eyes never pulled away from ahead of you. Then suddenly, you jumped off the roof as if it were nothing.

Tara lightly shook her head as she watched this.

“Oh, I’m in trouble…”

-----------

A/N: The way I genuinely laughed when Pete said he'd send Captain Stacy a link 😭

#tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter x female reader #tara carpenter x spider reader #tara carpenter x fem!reader #tara x reader #tara carpenter x spider!reader #tara carpenter #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega x fem!reader #spider!reader #scream fanfic #after the storm au

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samiswifey · 8 months

Text

Back To You

Parings: Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none.

Summary: it's been six years since Sam has seen you and the moment you lock eyes feelings immediately come rushing back.

A/N: this is going to be a short mini series that I want to do.

It was Sam's turn to do the grocery shopping this week. She was given a list of what each of the kids liked and not a single thing was healthy. They wanted all the sweets they could have and although she didn't agree she also couldn't control them. She could always make suggestions but she didn't want to control them. She wasn't her mother.

After checking out she quickly grabbed her phone to tell Tara that she was on her way home. As she was typing she accidentally bumped into someone and dropped her phone. She quickly picks it up and goes to apologize.

"I am so sorry. I wasn't paying - Y/N?"

You looked at her with blank eyes and a set frown on your lips as she looked at you with wide eyes. "Samantha. I didn't expect to run into you here." You said. Sam nodded as she tried to hide her nervousness. "Y-yeah. I live here now, with Tara and the twins." She said softly. You nodded but held back your surprise at her mention of her little sister, because last you heard Sam left and hadn't talked to Tara or anyone after she left.

"Well, Sam it was nice seeing you but I have to go." You said as you walked away from her.

Sam waved bye as she watched you leave the store. She felt everything coming back to her the moment she saw you. She knows that you've probably moved on but she never did. She still loves you and in her heart she hopes that you might still love her too. She didn't think so but it's not wrong to dream.

Walking inside Sam barely had time to close the door before Tara, Chad and Mindy were reaching for and grabbing bags out of her hands. They only took the snacks and left everything else before running back to sit on the couch and eat what they each had asked for. Sam shook her head but smiled a little as unloads the bags.

"You will never guess who I ran into at the store today." Sam says, trying to start up a conversation. "It was Y/N."

The moment your name was said the three of them came rushing into the kitchen asking questions by the minute. Like how are you? Do you remember them? Are you still as pretty as they remember? All sorts of things that Sam did not have the answer to just yet.

"I didn't actually have a conversation with her. We only said hi." She said softly.

Tara looks disappointed with her sister. "Sam, Y/N was your best friend so I don't really understand why you didn't catch up with her." She said. Before Sam could answer that Mindy scoffed with a small chuckle.

"They weren't just friends, T. They were girlfriend." She said bluntly.

While Chad agreed with Mindy, Sam was actually pretty shocked that she knew that. "How did you know that?" She asked nervously. Mindy became a little more serious as she looks at the older Carpenter sister. "You guys didn't necessarily hide your attraction to one another. You cuddled, held hands and I saw you kiss her one time when she left." She said. "You guys made it pretty obvious that you were in a relationship together."

Sam blushed at the reminder of her relationship with you. "I didn't know we made it that obviously." She quietly said. Tara looks at her with curious eyes. "Why did you guys break up?" She asked. Sam hung her head in shame when she remembers how she ended things. "The night before I left we got into a huge fight. She was begging me to stay and I desperately wanted her to come with me but neither of us were seeing eye to eye. So I ended it. I broke up with her because I felt like she didn't care about me enough. I broke her heart that night, while also breaking my own when I left her house." She explains.

Mindy took it all in as she looks right at Sam. "So how are you planning on winning her back?" She asked. "Yeah what ideas do you have to get Y/N back?" Tara asked also. Sam frowned at that as she shakes her head. "I'm not trying to win her back. There is no way Y/N wants me back after how we broke up." She said. "I'm pretty sure she hates me."

Mindy nor Tara was going to accept that. "How are you so sure? I mean you didn't really talk to her when you saw her so you can't possibly know that." Mindy says. "Yeah! Maybe things will be different if you actually talk to her Sam." Tara adds. Sam thought about it and wanted to dismiss it, but a part of her was very curious to know if you still liked her. So she agreed with them. "I guess you're right."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day Sam was dragged back to the store by Tara and Mindy with Chad coming along because he didn't want to be left out, in hopes that they would run into you. Sam didn't have high hopes of seeing you again but Mindy and Tara did. They had a very good feeling about seeing you again and hopefully fixing things between you and Sam. At least that's their plan.

"Oh there she is!" Mindy practically yells.

Before Sam could gather herself she was pulled in your direction by both Mindy and Tara. She tried to get them to stop but it was too late and they were already in front of you.

"Y/N! Hello how are you?" Mindy and Tara said in unison.

You looked between both of them, a little surprised that they were with Sam, but smiled nevertheless. "I'm good. I'm really good." You said. Sam couldn't help but smile at that, knowing that you were doing good.

"Are you seeing anyone?" Mindy asked bluntly.

You shook your head as you looked right at Sam. "Nope. I'm still waiting for the right one to come back." You said softly. Sam felt her heart speed up and couldn't stop herself from speaking.

"Would you like to grab lunch with us?" She asked quickly. "If you have time that is," she adda softly.

You looked at her and smiled a little. "Uh, yeah. Yeah I'll join you guys for lunch." You said kindly. Sam lit up as her, Mindy and Tara headed towards the exit. You stayed back for a moment as you thought about what this could led to. You never admitted it but you still love Sam and a very big part of you really hopes that maybe you guys could try again. However with how much she changed you weren't holding out hope.

"So Y/N how have things been?" Mindy asked.

You smiled a little. "Things have been good. I just got a promotion last week." You proudly said. Sam smiled at that as she looks at you. "That's really great Y/N." She said honestly. You smile when she said that. "Thank you Sam."

The lunch went great with laughter of old memories and filled with new stories as you each told the other about your lives. How many things have changed since the last time you saw each other. You both realized that neither of you are the same and things could be different now. You just have to start slow.

The lunch ended as you got up from the table the same time as Sam did. You smiled at her. "We should do this again." You said. Sam smiled at that. "Definitely."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the last month you and Sam, along with Tara, Mindy and Chad, have been meeting up at least twice a week. They were fun two to three hours hang outside that you always found yourself looking forward to. You loved catching up with them and hearing about everything going on in their lives. It was nice just hearing about their day, honestly. You missed this.

Today it was just you and Sam. You both had the day off and decided to just hangout and take a walk around the city. Sam was showing you all her favorite spots and you found the whole thing endearing. Sam was a completely different person from the girl you dated back in high school. She seems so much stronger and lively that you found yourself just smiling at her.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Sam asked.

You looked into her eyes as you continued smiling. "It's just really nice to see you smile Sam," you gently take her hand. "I've missed this Sam. I've missed seeing you happy and just smiling at anything because it feels like after thirteen you just stopped feeling. Yeah you were physically there but mentally you were gone and I missed you." You told her softly.

Sam looks at you and gave you a small grin. "Things haven't always be easy for me and I didn't always handle things great, but I'm better now. I understand myself better and I really hope you give me the chance to show you that." She said. You smiled "you already have."

#sam carpenter #sam carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #mindy meeks martin #chad meeks martin

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wandagcre · 9 months

Note

I wanna know how our first time with g!p sam went, i think she would be cute and pretty shy?? 🤭

first time | sam carpenter 🔞

(Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader)

You never thought that Sam would be even more gentle and shy during your first time with her.

WARNING: sam has a penis, unprotected sex, p in v, spontaneous first time, teasing, slight insecurity, unproofread +18 / men and minors dni Words: 1.9k Note: this was very rushed, sorry! hope you loved it nonetheless <3 (swear you'll see more of this sam soon ;))

You were sitting on the couch, reading a book. Today was your hang out with Sam, it was simple, and lucky for you she was the type to enjoy the comfortable silence. The two of you were planning to bake later - a spontaneous idea that you proposed. Sam was more than willing and she easily agreed.

"It's still too early," she complains and gets comfy on the space beside you, head laid on your lap.

She was wearing one of your personal favorite, the grey sweatpants. Although you have seen Sam parading around in your personal spaces with less and more comfy clothes, you preferred this, because it made your heart pound less. You can't handle when Sam wears the poor excuse of a boxer, that absolutely does justice to Sam's figure.

(Too well, actually because it outlined her so much.)

Half an hour later, Sam puts away her phone and reaches out for your face, hands resting on your cheeks.

"Give me attention," Sam loomed nearer and you put away your book, grinning at her.

You lean lower, pressing a quick kiss on her lips. "Okay, you big baby."

Sam sits up straight now and you knew it was because she's bothered that you only gave her one kiss. A childish scowl is written on her face.

"I changed my mind. Come sit here on my lap." the turn around of her voice had your full attention now, the need was obvious underneath her tone.

"So needy," you jest and it only made Sam huff in your continuous teasing.

Thighs on either side of Sam's, you graze your lips against hers and she meets you halfway, apparent that she's growing impatient. Her luscious lips were on yours and it felt like heaven. The sound of your seemingly forever kissing and saliva resonated in your living room and as your senses zoned into it – you felt thrilled. Sam's hands were rubbing and pressing all over your lower back, the plush skin of your very thighs, and then she slides them underneath your sweater.

Her palm felt warm as she gave your breasts a tentative squeeze. She repeats the action and a moan is easily drawn out of you, reeling immediately to Sam's touch.

With your parted lips, Sam meets your mouth again, this time to swallow the erotic sounds she's pulling out of you.

"Fuck, Sam," you deeply exhale as you started to grind over Sam's outline. You feel her against your skimpy bottom wear and it's tempting as ever.

To your surprise, Sam moved her touch to grip harder this time on your hips, wanting you closer and to get a better angle on grinding into her. She's hard enough for you to feel her and it's more than a fucking bump. The dry humping is getting into you, all frisky, and clearly the same effect was getting into Sam. You feel yourself drip on your underwear as she guides you continuously.

Sam joins your rhythm, her hips in thrusting motion. "Oh you shit, shit! feels so good," she murmurs, starting to pant heavily.

"I'm making a mess on lap, baby," You utter, flushed. You were met with an equally worked up sight of Sam. "You sure about this, Sammy?"

"Y-yes. Yes, I am! Are you?" she looked small, shuffling her position to give a little space between you two.

You've been frisky on a few make-out sessions but they weren't as intense. Not minding it, really, wanting to go by her pace because you plan being with her for a long time. You want her to feel safe and comfortable enough to open up intimately.

But her green light made you gulp audibly.

"Yes, I am too, if you're really sure..." You whisper and brush your thumb on her wet, swollen lips. Sam sharply inhaled, nodding frantically at your response, her eyes now half-lidded.

She tucks out her length and god, was she big. Bigger than you expected. You peer down to see Sam's cock that stood proudly and grazing hard against your tummy. The veins all over her cock were angry, making themselves known and her tip was red and oozing with precum. She wraps her free hand around her shaft, giving it a few pumps.

Your eyes were entranced with the way Sam fucks herself in her hand. Her own hands barely met around the girth and dwarfed them with how huge her cock stood out.

"Gonna fuck yourself right there or are you going inside?"

Sam halted her movements and disagreed with you. With her teeth caught in her bottom lip, eyes searching around.

"Shit, I don't have a condom with me," Sam huffed, her hold on your waist tightening once again. Her cock twitched repeatedly, straining hard as she was out in the open.

To be honest, you don't give a damn right now. You just wanted to feel how Sam is going to wreck you.

You shake your head, "Don't care. Just pull out."

A glint of excitement is written all over her face, doe eyes wide as she nods her head in agreement frantically. She aligns her cock with you and hoists up your lower body, pushing her tip first, gathering the slick on your entrance. You feel feverish at the feeling and while immersed, you accidentally push yourself in – having Sam's cock enter intrusively inside of you – the sensation has made both of you groan loudly.

"Fuck, fuck!" You wail and your hands are clutching over Sam's shoulder, desperately trying to ground yourself.

She coos you softly as your upper body slumped against her. "Sorry baby, just a little more..." Sam huffed, trying to calm herself as she felt your walls – so rigid – yet so warm, wet, and inviting. It doesn’t help how you rapidly clenched around her length. She threw her head back, absorbed in the feeling with her eyes shut.

Gasping out loud, your eyes widened as you registered what Sam said. A little more? Your pussy was already leaking uncontrollably, if you looked down it won't be good for your sanity, having to see the evidence of your arousal all over Sam. You feel pulsating with you, sure that she was already in.

You started to think that maybe, it should have been you who was supposed to prepare for your first time with her. For heaven’s sake, you can barely take her in.

"A little more? Fucking hell, that's- you're still not fully inside?"

"Yes. 'm sorry baby," she sheepishly said and swept her sweaty hair back. You groan at the sight, wanting to bite aggressively as her little movements only added to the sinful need that was flowing inside of you.

You slightly push her back by the shoulder, "Can you stop being so attractive?"

"Uh... I'm sorry?" Sam confusedly replied with her head, tilted. If this was a normal occurrence, and you were not being a few inches deep into her, you would’ve laughed.

"You can move now,"

Sam nods her head, obedient, plunging into you slowly. Her hips that were guiding you were firmer than before. You see her struggle for her own breath with barely opened eyes, yet she gauges your reaction, ever so cautious. The previous burning sensation of your walls was fading into a full-course of a deeply gratifying one. It was evident how she wanted it to be pleasurable not only for her, but for you as well. You knew she grew concerned and serious from earlier as you barely managed to take all of her.

You grunt, deeply scorched as you discover this side of your girlfriend.

Her whole shaft was inside of you now, plowing with improved ease. A lewd, throaty moan followed as you sank deeper at each time Sam slammed inside of you back and forth. You knew she was still hesitating, so you took it upon yourself to shove your pussy down deeper and gyrate with much more need against her.

"God, baby, I'm losing my mind here..." Sam chokes out, resembling a confession. Your mouth turned upwards, continuing to ride her with your hips moving in a brash manner. Absolutely sopping wet now you felt Sam sweat as much as you, and your mind was lost - feeling so fucking full with Sam's cock as you bounced on top of her, immersed with the pent-up sexual urge.

It felt like she's trying to mold herself into your hot walls.

Sam soon grew sloppy with her thrusting upwards, the sound of your skins slapping had grown into a lewd scene. She couldn't take it anymore, how your pussy clamped against her, as if you were greedy and her leaving your hot walls would be an act of a terrible crime.

"Baby, baby, oh fuck.. I'm going to..."

"Me too, fuck!"

Sam gasped in short erratic breaths. You soon cum with a few more last thrusts, predictable with how her cock was probing into your spongy spot repeatedly – causing you to reach your climax. Your girlfriend groaned as she pulled out and already missed the ecstasy of filling you up to the brim and pulsating walls clenching hot around her cock. Not to mention it was soaking her all in wet, a sensation she can easily get addicted to.

You decided to tease Sam, her eyes fixated on you and how it darted between your freshly fucked out face and your nipples that was see through. You take it upon your hands, flashing your tits in front of her and squeezing your supple skin, twisting your nipples, and making sure to express your moan at each time, easily making Sam grow drunk into your little show.

Sam threw her head back, "Fuck, baby, don't... stop, I can't..."

"Can't what?" you tease her, voice all sultry and a strained moan comes out of your now sweaty and almost all ruined girlfriend.

Her bronze skin had turned crimson and entire body feverish, you see her pumping hard and desperately on her shaft while her thumb grazing on her tip.

You cannot believe that something as hard and big as Sam, entirely pounded inside and ravished you just seconds ago.

Not long after you're rewarded with a sight of Sam - mouth agape, eyes droopy, as she finished out. Long ropes of thick cum spread over your thighs and tummy erupted out of her angry red tip. With a few more pumps, she's made a mess not only to your body but her hand and your couch as well.

You were fixated at the veiny shaft and how it only softened a little. Your gaze burned and it made Sam feel a little conscious. In a clearer view, her size felt more intimidating yet more desirable as ever – paired with her sweaty skin and continuously huffing sight.

"Next time I'm going to need you to cum inside of me. Or better yet, in my throat."

Sam's cock visibly twitched at your words. "Baby! Don't say that..." she hid her face with a clean hand, barely handling how you teased her all throughout.

"Does it bother you?" you feign innocence with a smirk.

Sam grumbled. "You know it does, you jerk."

You cradle her face, thumbs soothing at her jaw, all in attempts to console a pouty and still hard Sam by initiating a soft, chaste kiss on her lips. She returns it with no hesitation, relaxing at your touch.

"But seriously - you were absolutely perfect baby, don't worry." you assure her and you assume the genuine conviction in your voice was effective as this melted Sam. Her puppy eyes lit up at your words, pulling you close once again for another (and more) kisses.

do not repost/translate on other sites. © wandagcre

#gg.writes #sam carpenter x fem reader #sam carpenter smut #sam carpenter x reader #scream vi #wlw #lesbian #fanfic #au #sam carpenter x y/n #intersex!sam #requested

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topguncortez · 10 months

Text

All My Heart & All My Being | Jake x Shy!Wifey

opposites attract masterlist | main masterlist

synopsis: Jake & Y/N are given devastating news on what was supposed to be a routine midwife visit. Jake navigates how to tell his kids about the circle of life.

word count: 2.8k

warnings: miscarriage, tears, fear of doctors, cursing, talks of death, canon character death, mentions of depression, mentions of stillbirths

note: miscarriages happen in 1 out of 4 pregnancies. Most miscarriages are spontaneous, meaning that you did nothing to cause it. miscarriages are never your fault, and it doesn't make you any less of a parent. Angel baby parents are still parents.

Jake couldn’t hide his excitement. It was Y/N’s second ultrasound since she had discovered she was pregnant. It was the appointment where they were finally going to hear their baby’s heartbeat. Even though they had been here twice before, the same butterflies and nervous feelings still arose in their bellies. Jake was trying his best to not crush Y/N’s hand with his strong grip as they waited for the doctor to come in.

Jake was halfway out of the chair he was sitting in, at eye level with Y/N’s bare belly. His eyes were wide as he was retelling the story of his last dogfight with Rooster and Coyote. Y/N couldn’t help the smile on her face as she ran her hand through his soft blonde hair.

“And then, I broke right, turning right into the sun with Rooster still hot on my tail, but the ol’ man still hasn’t learned any new tricks,” Jake laughed, “He lost me in the sun, and I was able to turn quickly and get behind him to get missile lock on him.”

“Going to turn this one into an aviator before they’re even born,” Y/N giggled. Jake looked up at her with pure admiration and love in his green eyes.

“They’ve got a handful of uncles and aunts who will turn them into an aviator if I don’t,” Jake said as there was a soft knock on the door. Y/N sat up on her elbows and told whoever it was to come in, but Jake’s eyebrows furrowed at the young nurse who walked through the door, “Where’s Doctor Carpenter?”

The nurse smiled at him as she walked to the ultrasound machine, “She’s with another mother right now, but she’ll be here soon.” Y/N nodded and laid back down on the exam table, “My name is Margaret, and I’ll be doing the initial look, taking a few pictures and then Doctor Carpenter will be in.”

“Okay,” Y/N nodded, feeling the grip of nerves in her throat. Jake could feel the anxiety rolling off his wife in waves and squeezed his wife’s hand. Y/N looked over at him, as Jake raised their conjoined hands to his lips and placed a kiss on the back of her hand.

“How have you been feeling, Mrs. Seresin?” Margaret asked.

“Oh please, call me Y/N,” Y/N said softly, “I’ve been feeling more tired than usual with this one. It’s our third baby,” Jake gave her hand a squeeze, “But lately, my back has been hurting, I’ve had these weird dizzy spells, just overall felt like crap.”

Margaret nodded as she put some of the cool gel on Y/N’s belly. Y/N let out a shaky breath as Margaret pressed the transducer to Y/N’s lower belly. She always hated this part of the exam, feeling like her bladder was going to explode from the pressure.

Jake sucked in a breath as he watched Y/N stare up at the ceiling. She was uncomfortable and Jake hated that. “Did you hear about Dragon’s wedding present for Rooster?” Y/N looked at her husband and shook her head, “Well apparently, it was a fancy little picture book. Rooster was actually speechless, and you know that man is nev-”

“How far along are you?” Margaret asked, interrupting Jake. He looked up at her, noticing the pinched look on her face.

“12 weeks,” Y/N nodded, “But isn’t that on my chart?”

Margaret nodded and plastered a fake smile on her face, “Y-yeah, yes, it’s just that-”

Jake’s shoulders squared as he stood up from his seat, “That what? What’s wrong?”

Margaret set the transducer down and turned to face both of them, “I’m not seeing anything on the ultrasound.”

“What?” Y/N looked from the nurse to Jake and back at the nurse. She felt her heart start to race as she pushed herself up on her elbows, “There’s. . .there’s no baby? I lost the-”

“I don’t know,” Margaret said, “I-I’m not really authorized to read-”

“How about you go find someone who is?” Jake said sternly, crossing his arms over his chest. Margaret nodded rapidly and scurried out of the room with her head down. Jake scoffed and ran his hand through his hair, his jaw clenched shut, “What a fucking joke. Can you-” He looked down at his wife to find tears running down her cheeks, “Hey, sweets, what’s wrong?”

“There’s no baby,” Y/N cried, and Jake wrapped her in his strong embrace.

“We don’t know that,” Jake said, his voice strong and steady, “The nurse even said she’s not authorized to read it.” He pulled Y/N away from his chest and held her face in his hands. She looked up into his green eyes, “You hear me? We can’t jump to conclusions yet.” Y/N closed her eyes and nodded her head, not really believing a word Jake said. And to be honest, he wasn’t even sure if he believed what he said either.

Jake gently shifted Y/N’s body so he could sit on the edge of the small exam table and hold his wife. They waited in painful silence for the doctor to come in. The only sound was the occasional sniffle from Y/N, which was followed by Jake pressing his lips to the top of her head. A small knock pulled them out of their quiet embrace as their usual doctor walked into the room. Jake felt some relief in his body, but the look on the doctor’s face didn’t help ease much of it.

“I’m sorry for the wait,” Doctor Carpenter said, giving them both a sad smile, “Let’s see what’s going on.” She quickly went to the ultrasound machine. Jake moved off the exam table and stood by her side, holding her hand in both of his.

Doctor Carpenter did the same thing as the nurse had done previously, putting the cold gel on Y/N’s belly and spreading it around her lower abdomen. Y/N looked up at the ceiling as Jake’s eyes were on the black-and-white screen in front of him. Doctor Carpenter worked in silence as she moved the transducer around, freezing on a spot, and taking a picture, before moving to another spot. The silence stretched for about ten minutes before Doctor Carpenter sighed, and placed the transducer down.

Y/N closed her eyes as she felt Doctor Carpenter’s eyes on her. She couldn’t hear the words that came out of the doctor’s mouth but felt Jake squeeze her hand.

“I’m sorry, Y/N and Jake, but there isn’t a viable fetus present,” Doctor Carpenter said, “I’m afraid Y/N has had what we call a spontaneous miscarriage. It doesn’t present like a normal. . .”

It was all a blur after that.

She could hear the door to the exam room shut. She could feel Jake move to lean over her and run a hand through her hair. She could faintly make out the sound of his voice as he spoke to her. She could feel him hold her in his arms, rubbing her back and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She could hear him sniffle and wipe away the tears from under his eyes.

The car ride home was quiet, as Y/N leaned her head against the window, looking at the familiar landscape pass her by. Jake would occasionally glance over at her, noticing the hand that sat protectively on her belly. He shifted in his seat and looked at his wife again.

Jake cleared his throat, “Are you in pain?”

“Not physically,” Y/N answered, “It’s just. . . when you think about a miscarriage or losing a baby, you imagine blood and pain, not. . .” Y/N fought back tears, her mind trying to come up with the right words to say. Jake reached his hand across the center console and grabbed hers. Neither of them said another word as they drove the rest of the way home.

When they arrived home, Jake noticed Amelia Benjamin’s bike by the front door. She usually babysat the kids after school while Jake & Y/N were at work. It was supposed to be a happy night, while Jake and Y/N shared pictures of their unborn child, and listen as Alex and Ella argued about whether it was going to be a boy or a girl. Now, all Y/N felt was dread of having to face her children and her parents.

“Why don’t you go into the house from the garage and up the back steps,” Jake said, looking at his wife, “And I’ll go corral the kids to the backyard.” Y/N nodded her head in agreement, “I’ll be up soon and draw you a bath-”

“I just want to lay in bed,” Y/N said, looking at Jake, “I’m okay. . . or I will be anyway.”

Jake gave her a smile. Y/N was one of the toughest women he knew. She had to be tough when being married to an aviator. Nothing in Jake’s life was ever promised and Y/N had known that first hand. She had watched as partners of fellow aviators had been given folded flags instead of getting to hug their loved ones again. She always feared losing Jake, never one of her own babies.

“I’m going to go in now,” Y/N said and Jake nodded.

“Y/N,” Jake called her name as he stepped out of the truck. She looked up at him, “I love you, with all my heart and all my being.”

Y/N smiled, “I love you too, with all my heart and all my being.”

Jake took a moment, trying to gather his thoughts as he watched Y/N walk into the house. He turned the truck off and gathered his duffle bag from the back seat, before making his way to the backyard where he could hear the loud laughter of his kids.

The second that Jake opened the gate to the backyard, Alex and Ella ran right to him. He greeted them with his usual bright smile and kiss on the cheek. He thanked Amelia for watching them and paid her. Then he stood on the front porch with Alex and Ella as Amelia rode her bike the two blocks it took to get to her house.

“C’mon, let’s go get a snack,” Jake said, leading his kids inside the house. Alex climbed up on the stool at the kitchen island, while Jake sat Ella down on hers. He cut them up an apple, splitting it between the two of them, and giving them each a big dollop of peanut butter to go with.

“Where’s Mommy?” Alex asked, looking around the kitchen for the usual bright ball of sunshine that was Y/N Seresin.

“She’s uh,” Jake cleared his throat, “She’s not feeling well. She’s laying down right now.”

“What wrong wit Mommy?” Ella asked, looking up at Jake with those big green eyes. Jake knew that at some point in time, they needed to talk to the kids about what happened, but he was hoping that he would have some time to gather his thoughts before telling them. If it was up to Jake, he would wait to talk to them, but he also knew that Y/N hated keeping things from them.

“Your mommy,” Jake shook his head, “We found out today that. . . we lost the baby.” The room was silent for a moment as the five and two-and-a-half-year-old were trying to come to terms with what their father just said. How does one even explain the circle of life to kids?

“How?” Ella asked.

“I’m not really sure, Elles,” Jake said, running his hand over her blonde hair, “Sometimes, it just happens. There’s no explanation. There’s no reason. Sometimes, God decides he needs the baby a bit more than we do.”

Alex blinked a couple of times, staring at the bottom wrung of the chair that Steve had chewed up, “Is that Baby with Uncle Bradley’s mom and dad?”

Jake nodded, “Yeah. The baby is with Uncle Bradley’s mom and Dad, and Grandpa Seresin, and the dog your mommy had as a child, and Aunt Dragon’s babies.”

“I don’t wike that,” Ella pouted, as the tears slowly started to roll down her cheeks. Jake cooed and walked over to her, picking her up in his arms, and holding her head against his chest as she cried.

“I know, baby girl, I know,” Jake sniffled, “No one does. It’s hard to lose the people you love,” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “All we can do now, is show mama some love, give her some extra cuddles. She’s going to be sad for a while.”

“I wanna go to Mommy,” Ella mumbled and Jake nodded. He carried Ella in his arms and walked up the stairs toward their shared room. Alex stayed in his spot, still staring at that beat-up wrung of the stool.

Jake knocked softly on the bedroom door, waiting for the invite from Y/N to let him in. He knew not to overcrowd her and make her feel uncomfortable. Sometimes Y/N reminded him of a scared, feral dog that had been kicked one too many times. But her quiet, soft voice granted him permission to come in, and Jake gently pushed the door open.

Y/N was facing the door and looked up to see her baby girl with tears rolling down her cheeks. Y/N gave Jake a sad smile and shifted a bit in bed to make room for Ella. Silently, Jake stepped across the threshold and brought Ella to Y/N.

“My baby girl, what are the tears for?” Y/N asked Ella, as Jake pulled back the covers and gently placed her next to her mom.

“I don’t want you to be sad,” Ella mumbled, tears welling up in her eyes.

“I know,” Y/N said softly, “I’ll only be sad for a little while, I promise.” She pulled Ella in close to her chest and rubbed her back. Ella was like Jake in so many ways, that the small gesture was a sure way to make them both fall asleep.

Jake smiled at his girls before returning downstairs to make Y/N some tea. Alex was still in the same spot as he was when Jake went upstairs. He eyed his child as he filled and set the kettle on the stove. Jake always felt like he had a hard time connecting with Alex. Y/N was already four months pregnant with him when Jake came home from a mission. And Jake had to leave when he was only three months old for another mission. Alex was also the complete opposite of his father and Jake struggled to find things they had in common.

“What’re you thinking about, Lex?” Jake asked, leaning against the counter.

“Do you know where I can get white roses?” Alex said, looking up at his dad. Jake’s eyebrows furrowed, “Uncle Rooster always gets Aunt Dragon white roses on Ida’s birthday. He says they are for membrance.”

“Remembrance,” Jake said, “And I think I know a place where we can get some.”

— — —

Three days later, Jake and Alex were in the middle of Y/N’s garden, while she sat in a chair with Ella. Doctor Carpenter told her to take the next couple of days easy while her body and mind processed the news of the miscarriage. The kids had been a great help, keeping Y/N’s mind off the loss and giving her the extra cuddles that she didn’t know she needed.

“White Roses love the sun,” Y/N said, as Alex finished digging the whole, “You picked a perfect spot, Alex.”

The little boy wiped the sweat from his brow as Jake brought over the poted plant, “Thanks, momma.”

“Alright Ella, you want to come help with this?” Jake asked, and the little girl happily obliged. She wiggled out of her moms lap and walked over to where the two boys were standing.

Jake gently pulled the rose bush from the bucket it sat in, remembering all the critiques Y/N gave him while he helped her plant to other flowers in the garden. Ella and Alex cupped the bottom of the plant as they gently eased it into the hole. Y/N stood up from her chair and walked over to her family, watching as the kids covered the base of the rose bush with fresh soil. She felt the sting of tears in her eyes as Jake put his arm around her, pulling her flush against his side.

“There!” Alex said, clapping the dirt off of his hands, “Do you like it?!”

“We love it, baby,” Jake smiled, “Now come here! Family hug!” Y/N giggled as the kids ran right towards their legs, hugging them tightly, “I love you guys, with all my heart, and all my being.”

taglist: @damrlova @shanimallina87 @phoenix1388 @mygyn @cherrycola27 @yanna-banana @seitmai @topgun-imagines @bradleybeachbabe @na-ta-sh-aa @startrekfangirl2233 @xoxabs88xox @atarmychick007 @lunamoonbby @sophiaslastbraincell @bradswolfe @fandom-princess-forevermore @dempy @lovelywiseprincess @krismdavis @eternallyvenus @dakotakazansky @pono-pura-vida @callsignharper @callsignartemis @starberryhorse @daggersquadphantom @gspenc @poppyalice2001 @els-marvelvsp @nyx2021 @t0kyoreveng3rs @frazie99 @spencvrr @kmc1989 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @toobouquet @malindacath @justenoughmadness @sagittarius-flowerchild

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toournextadventure · 1 year

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bad dream?

Summary: Tara wakes up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. Again. They always seem to come at the worst of times. But at least she can ask you to keep her company for the night.

Word Count: 1.8k Warnings: swearing, mentions of Ghostface and related trauma Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader

Tara woke with a start. Her eyes opened to the dark room illuminated only by the street lights outside her window. The image of Ghostface was engraved into her eyelids every time she blinked. If she focused on one spot for too long, she could almost see him standing in the corner of her room. Watching her. Waiting.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes quickly; if she took too long, He would be there again. It didn’t make much of a difference though, her palms were so sweaty she had to wipe them off on her bed. Not that it helped much, her bed was soaked too.

“Gross,” she mumbled to herself as she continued to sit in almost a literal pool of her own sweat.

Every time a car drove by outside, she flinched. It was from the headlights, or the sound, or even just the knowledge that someone had been outside her room even for a fleeting moment. All they would have to do is climb up the fire escape and that would be it, she would be done for.

Tara liked to pretend during the day that nothing bothered her. Sam was already so openly traumatised about it, she couldn’t add her own trauma to it. But she was scared, and it came out at night. When she was enveloped with the darkness and every sound could be Him, watching and waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

With shaky hands, she grabbed her phone from the nightstand and turned it on. The light from the screen blinded her, but only for a moment. 2:17am. Too fucking late to just stay up, too early to do anything about it. She sat there and chewed her lip, thinking about what her next move was.

There was no way she was going to wake Sam up. What, was she going to waltz in there in her pyjamas, stand at the foot of the bed and say “I had a bad dream?” No, she wasn’t a little kid. But she didn’t want to be alone, and that narrowed her options considerably.

Well…

She dialled your number and held her phone up to her ear. Each time it rang, she felt herself getting more and more anxious. What if you didn’t answer? God, what if something had happened to you? What if He was back and had gone after you to get to her and Sam?

“Hello?” You mumbled, sleep evident in your voice. She exhaled through her nose; you were safe.

“Did I wake you?” She asked.

“No,” you said, followed by some ruffling on your end. “I’m always awake at 2:30 in the morning.”

“It’s not 2:30 yet,” Tara said quickly. She got out of bed and started digging through her dresser drawers; she needed something clean to put on.

You were silent on the other end of the line, and for a moment Tara was convinced you had fallen back asleep. It was a habit of yours to fall asleep while on the phone, or during a movie, or occasionally while hanging out with her friends. You blamed it on studies, she blamed it on the massive crash after all the caffeine you drank during the day.

“Did you have a nightmare?” You finally asked, your voice far too gentle for her to appreciate.

“No,” she said quickly. “Just a bad dream.”

“That’s a nightmare.”

“Semantics,” Tara argued. She started pulling on a new pair of shorts as she waited for you to say something else.

“Would you like some company?”

She froze and stood in the middle of her room. Yes, she thought. She very much wanted some company, especially from you. There was something about you that made her feel safe; it was why she had agreed to go out with you in the first place. But she knew how often you sacrificed your own well-being for her. She couldn’t ask that of you again.

A creak in the apartment made her jump.

Actually, yes she could ask you to sacrifice your well-being again.

“I’ll leave the window open,” she said, quickly moving to do exactly as stated.

“Give me about ten minutes,” you said, and she heard more shuffling from your end of the line.

“Stay on the line with me?” She asked hesitantly.

“Sure thing, pretty girl,” you said. “Give me a sec, I’m switching you to my headphones.”

Tara looked down at the firescape outside her window. The light two floors down came on, and she could see a shadow reflecting off the metal railing. It moved, and she heard the matching shuffling and clamouring before you spoke again.

“Can you hear me?” You asked; you sounded a bit staticy, but otherwise clear.

“Yeah,” she said with a nod that you couldn’t see.

“Did you wanna talk about it?” You asked as you continued to shuffle around your room. The light from your room swayed as you moved inside.

“Just the usual,” she said absentmindedly, leaning against the windowpane and trying not to shiver from the cold fall air.

It was a lie; it wasn’t the usual nightmare. This one was about you. About Ghostface coming back and using you to strike a very particular note of fear into her. Using you as the bait in His twisted game, asking her questions she didn't know, and being forced to watch as He gutted you like a fish.

“You’re such a liar, Tara,” you huffed, but she could hear the little laugh.

“How would you even know?” She asked with her own huff.

“Cause I can see you.”

Tara jumped and dropped the phone to the floor, spinning on her heels to look at the window. You were crawling in, a duffel bag over your shoulder and holding something in your mouth. It almost looked like a movie case. Your headphones covered your ears and you smiled at her as best you could.

“You’re such a prick,” she grumbled, but quickly ran over to help you in.

“Take it,” you mumbled around the case, holding your head forward. She took the hint and grabbed it. “Thank you.”

“Do you make it a habit of creeping in people’s windows?” She asked as she grabbed you by the elbows to steady your stumbling into the room.

“Only when they invite me,” you said with a smile. You leaned forward and captured her lips in a quick kiss. “Hey, baby.”

“You didn’t actually have to come,” she mumbled against your lips.

“You asked me to,” you said, giving her another quick kiss. “I’m always happy to keep you company.”

While you moved to set the duffle bag on the bed, Tara went to close the window. She looked down to the alley below for a moment, checking to make sure no one was out there. It wouldn’t surprise her if He was watching, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. Sam and Quinn were asleep, it would be easy for Him to-

“-Baby.”

She turned quickly to see you already stripping down the bed. You were moving with the speed of a military vet - all thanks to your mother - with none of the stress. But your eyes were on her, looking her up and down. It made her self-conscious. With a sigh she crossed her arms over her stomach, holding herself in a faux hug.

“Wanna tell me about the nightmare?” You asked in a soft voice. She hated when you were soft with her; it made her feel fragile.

“Aren’t those your bedsheets?” She completely overlooked your question, her eyes landing on the new sheets you were finishing tucking in.

“Freshly washed,” you said with a half smile. “I have to do laundry tomorrow anyway, I’ll throw your sheets in.”

“Anyone ever told you you’re whipped?” She asked, but nonetheless she crawled into the freshly made bed. It smelled like you.

“All the time,” you said with an exaggerated sigh. “Feels better, don’t it?”

“They’re cheap sheets,” Tara shot back. You barked out a laugh that echoed through the room.

“Talk about ungrateful,” you said around a few more bouts of laughter.

The sheets were warming up when she slid down a little further, pulling the thick comforter up to her chin. She just watched you move around. It always amazed her how many things you could fit in your trusty duffle bag. Tonight, you brought out a folding lawn chair, your laptop, a textbook, some snacks, and…

“Is that a bat?” Tara asked when you plopped down into the chair, the weapon resting on your lap.

“Why yes it is,” you said proudly. “Wooden and ready to beat a few heads in.”

“You brought a bat to your girlfriend’s room?” She probed.

“Tara, I love you,” you said with a pointed look. “But you and your sister are danger magnets and I am not taking any chances.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but quickly closed it. It wasn’t like she could deny your accusation; you were right. She and Sam were always attracting some sort of danger, whether it was Ghostface or the crazy conspiracy theorists from Reddit. There was always something around the corner.

And you apparently were choosing to face it head on instead of running away like everyone else had.

“Get some sleep, baby,” you said softly when Tara remained silent. “I can see the window and the door.” There was a seriousness on your face even though your body seemed relaxed. “No one is getting in.”

“Can you stay in bed with me?” She asked.

“I can’t see the door and window from the bed,” you said not unkindly.

“Just until I fall asleep,” she tried again.

Not that she should have been concerned whether you would or wouldn’t get in bed with her. You didn’t even hesitate before placing the bat down on the ground and standing up, stretching for only a moment before crawling into bed behind her. Relief flooded her veins the instant your arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her close.

“Thank you,” she whispered, leaning forward to kiss the hand near her face.

“Of course, baby,” you said just as quietly. She felt your lips press against the back of her neck. “I’ll always come when you call.”

With a soft sigh, she cuddled further into you and finally felt her body relax. You were there with her, you were safe. No one was going to get in, He wasn’t going to come back. Someone she loved was with her, holding her tight and keeping her safe.

“Good night, Tara,” you whispered, and she felt you press another kiss to the top of her head.

She had never fallen asleep so fast.

#tara carpenter x reader #tara x reader #tara carpenter

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cobaltperun · 5 months

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Lost (12) - You had me from hello

Tara Carpenter x female Reader

Summary: To anyone on the outside, and to Tara’s friends, you were Tara’s fierce protector, the MMA fighter who’d take anyone on for Tara. The Guard Dog, as Amber called you. You had no idea you’d have to protect her from people who claimed they loved her. It didn’t matter. As long as you and Tara had one another there was nothing you wouldn’t be able to survive.

Story warnings: Scream violence, family issues, trauma, angst, certain sensitive topics

Word count: 3.7k

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-If I never told you I just want you to know you had me from hello-

Proving that yesterday was a fluke, Tara woke up to the sight of you already up and rolling the dough, which, knowing you, probably meant you were making crescent rolls. Tara stretched a bit and just watched you work for a couple of minutes. The years working as a cook really paid off, as you moved in the kitchen with practiced ease and Tara found herself swooning at the thoughts of eating your cooking for the rest of her life. She didn’t even feel like she was rushing with that thought. The two of you went through enough to know for sure that nothing, absolutely nothing, could separate you. And that thought made her smile. She let out a content sigh, humming as she got up and approached you. She hugged you from behind, the same way she did yesterday, only without putting her arms underneath your shirt this time.

"Good morning, Y/N," she said a bit sleepily, she lazily leaned down a bit and kissed you just beneath your shoulder blade, loving the way you went still just for a moment.

"Good morning, birthday girl," she didn't even need to look at you to know there was a grin on your face. She heard you moving a bit, and wiping something before she felt your hands on top of hers. "Great timing actually. What filling would you like?"

Tara hummed at that, it was tempting to go for something sweet, but she'd have her cake later. "How about pizza?" just some tomato sauce, cheese, and ham would be perfect.

You nodded, fake coughing and tapping her hand lightly. Right, she'd need to let you go. "Thank you," you teased, turning around to kiss her cheek before heading to the fridge.

Tara leaned against the counter, careful to avoid dough and flour. "You're making a lot. Are Sam, Chad and Mindy coming?"

"Yeah, apparently we owe them for leaving us alone yesterday. Although, should the three of you be this relaxed about school?" you asked causing Tara to freeze for a moment and look away. You approached, a bowl, ham, cheese and a bottle of tomato sauce in your hands, and you were carefully observing her. When you stood in front of Tara you set aside the bowl and ingredients down, took your apron off, and then tucked a few strands of hair behind Tara's ear. "What's wrong?"

You noticed. Not that she was surprised about that. No one knew her as well as you did. "It's been difficult lately," Tara sighed, if she wanted you to always be open with her, she'd have to be the same way with you.

You frowned and she swore she could see gears turning in your head. "Because of what happened?" you figured it out.

"Yeah," she leaned into you, seeking the comfort of having your arms around her gave her. And you gave her just that, pulling her in. "Promise me you won't go crazy when I tell you," if anyone knew you, she knew you. Even if she failed to recognize you weren't fine for years. She knew how you were when it came to her. She knew you'd get pissed off the moment you heard how things were at school.

Tara heard a reluctant sigh and smiled when she felt you picking her up and taking her to the sofa. You sat down, with her safely sitting on your lap. "I don't like it, but I promise."

"It's either pity or blame. You know, some say they are sorry for me because of what Amber did to me, some say I should have noticed Amber was... the way she was," some went on to say Tara wasn't any different, that she killed Amber, so she was just as dangerous and sick in the head as her now deceased ex. She couldn't tell you that. You'd want the names of those people regardless of what you promised.

She felt you clenching your fists, she felt the tension in your muscles as you held her, she heard the deep breaths you took.

"Y/N," she nuzzled into your neck, hoping she could calm you down with touch, with assurance that she was right there and fine, and that you didn’t need to get into trouble over this.

"I know, I know. I trust you to tell me if you need me to do anything," that was what she wanted to hear as she caressed your cheek, slowly kissing from your neck all the way to your lips. It was a soft, brief kiss, but it was enough to calm your down.

Tara pulled back first, smiling. "I love how protective you are. I love knowing you are always there when I need you. I still need to handle things myself, you know? I need you to get back to the way you were before I was attacked," back then you were protective, but not to the point of handling any problem she had yourself. You didn't get to that point now, either, but Tara worried you might if she didn't point it out to you right away.

Before you left two months ago Tara absolutely needed you. She needed help moving, she couldn't take care of herself properly and at first needed help with even some of the more basic tasks. That was embarrassing, but you were patient and made sure she never felt like she was an inconvenience. She couldn't do anything too difficult and with the damage to her hand, she'd still need help with certain tasks in the future. That was the physical side of things. Carrying her, carrying things she couldn't, all the things like that, all of that was fine. She knew her limits and she was fine with your help with what she couldn't do. That's how things were before she got attacked as well, only back then they were less intimate.

As for handling issues like the one she currently had at school, well, that was where she drew the line. She couldn't have you solving everything, or getting involved with everything. She needed you to go back to the way you were before. Where you'd only get involved if she asked you to and would otherwise just offer her the support.

"I can still get angry, right?" you asked, relaxing a bit at her words.

"There's not much I can do about that," Tara laughed and leaned down once again to kiss your cheek. "I have you," she kissed your cheek again. "And Sam, and Mindy, and Chad," with every name she kissed another part of your face, purposefully avoiding your lips. "I can handle anything this stupid town throws at me."

How she wished she could erase what happened, go to a place where no one knew who she was and what she went through so that she could live a normal life. Hopefully, she could do exactly that once she leaves Woodsboro with you, Chad, and Mindy, and, she hoped, Sam as well.

You got tired of her insistent avoidance of your lips and gently cupped her cheek to properly kiss her. "I know you can. You will. And then we'll leave this damn place and never come back," Tara liked that idea. She liked the slow and gentle way you were kissing even more, the soft caress of your thumb across the side of her face. You separated too quickly for her liking. "Breakfast, Tara" you reminded her.

"Breakfast, Tara" she repeated, dejectedly getting off your lap, and you just laughed. "What?" she asked, surprised by your reaction.

"Pancakes, Y/N," you reminded her, and Tara blinked a few times, realizing she did exactly what you did yesterday.

And so, she laughed as well, jokingly pushing you to get up quicker. You got together yesterday, no one could blame her for being a bit more eager for everything than it was necessary. Besides, you weren't any different. Give it a bit of time and you'll both get used to the relationship, which should, in turn, make you a bit less excited about being in a relationship than you currently were. Twice a day was definitely not a pace either of you needed.

You didn't head right back to the dough, instead, you dug for something in your bag and walked back to her with a small bag. "I saw them and figured your hand might be sensitive to cold," you handed her the package. "Happy birthday, Love," you said, quickly bending down to peck her lips one more time.

Tara, pulled you into a hug, the package still in her hand. "Thank you," she whispered in your ear. The gift turned out to be a pair of rechargeable hand warmers. "I love it," could she tell you? Was it too early? She kinda figured you weren't the most usual couple, between near-death experience and being in love for years. Shouldn't there be a build-up to those words? "Y/N."

"Yeah?" you looked taken aback when you looked her in the eyes.

"It's just, I-" she was sure of what she felt, she just feared you might think it was too soon.

You smiled. "I love you too, Tara," her jaw dropped.

"Wha- How?" she jumped to her feet as you laughed and went back to making crescent rolls. "Y/N!" she scolded you with a pout on her face.

"Eyes are the window to the soul, right? Well, no one has eyes quite as expressive as yours, Tara. Besides, we've been through so much together. Saying 'I love you' feels more like stating the obvious, rather than a huge declaration," you shrugged while you began grating the cheese

Tara wanted to be annoyed, but, frankly, she couldn't be. You just had to be right, didn’t you? Tara did have to admit most people didn’t go through what the two of you did. There certainly wasn’t a book about when to say ‘I love you’ if you and your partner survived a couple of crazy killers trying to kill you. "You're right. Let's redo it. I love you, Y/N," she said and your smile morphed into a wide grin.

"I love you too, Tara."

~X~

About an hour later Tara got a text from Sam that her, Chad, and Mindy were almost there, and just in time as you were just done setting the table. The crescent rolls smelled absolutely divine and if they weren’t fresh out of the oven Tara would have tried them already.

The two of you heard a knocking on the doors and Tara jumped to unlock them.

“Sam learnt her lesson,” you teased as Tara walked past you and she just grinned at you, blushing slightly at the reminder of what nearly happened yesterday.

The moment she opened the doors Sam burst in, hugging her tightly. “Easy Sam, I was with Y/N,” Tara laughed, hugging her sister back.

“In more ways than one,” Mindy quipped shamelessly.

“Mindy!” Chad, luckily, chastised her before Tara could.

But Mindy just smirked, patting Tara on the back. “Early birthday present? Seeing stars without getting punched?”

Tara blushed furiously, of course Mindy would keep teasing her even now that she got together with you. “That’s… It’s not,” damn it, why was she so embarrassed.

“Damn it, Mindy, we’re supposed to have breakfast,” Sam complained as she let go of Tara.

“Exactly, and leave Tara be,” Chad jumped in to defend her as well.

Mindy just smirked, and while she stopped talking she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively causing Tara to groan. “Well, I had my fun, happy birthday, T,” Mindy finally went and hugged her. “Also, seriously, about time you two!” she exclaimed loud enough for you to hear her as well, but considering the way you were looking at them, with your jaw dropped, you definitely heard everything that came before as well.

“What the dingus said, I mean the about time thing,” Chad grinned and pulled Tara in for a hug. “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks, all of you,” Tara smiled, and just for a moment, for a fleeting second, she expected to see three more faces there. As if what happened was a horrible nightmare, as if Wes and Liv were still alive and Amber was alive and not a crazy murderer. But they weren’t there, they were all dead.

She tried to keep the smile on her face as she the three of them inside. All five of you sat down and Tara snuggled as close to you as she could, seeking your warmth and trying to push those thoughts away.

You always had a sixth sense for her distress, and you wrapped your arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

“So, world champion?” Chad awkwardly patted you on the shoulder.

Ever since Tara told the three of them of your retirement, they weren’t sure how to approach the subject, and that was with Tara. Now you were right there, and that awkwardness came back like a boomerang, and it was only slightly eased by the fact that you won. Well, depending on how you looked at it. Chad, personally, thought that you winning made it even worse, since you wouldn’t get the chance to defend your title and dominate the women MMA.

“Until the next title match, yeah. Anya will probably take it right back by beating up whoever her unlucky opponent ends up being,” you weren’t bothered though, not even a bit and Tara trusted you were honest.

“I bet, that woman hits hard,” Sam agreed, wincing slightly when she remembered how much Tara was panicking while they were all watching your fight.

You chuckled. “Tell me about it,” and just like that the tension was gone. Tara eased her worried mind by leaning into your touch, and you eased the worries of all your friends by being fairly chill about the retirement. For a brief moment Tara even chastised herself for ever doubting you in the first place.

~X~

Later that day you were washing the dishes while Tara and the twins choose how to pass the time. That was when Sam approached you.

She leaned back against the fridge, not quite looking at you, instead she crossed her arms and looked at Tara. "So, you and Tara," Sam began a bit awkwardly.

"Yes?" you couldn't help bit smirk a bit, but when you noticed Sam’s nervousness and the fact that she chose to keep her tone low, your smirk dropped, and you dried your hands. You were done anyway.

"You're official?" there was the question, honestly, you expected it a bit sooner, but you guessed there just wasn’t a chance for Sam to ask. And you guessed she was a bit conflicted.

You should have been annoyed by her demeanor. And maybe you were a bit annoyed. She was gone for five years, came back only when she had to, and while you were thankful, she came back, you didn’t exactly appreciate the fact that she was tethering on the edge of protecting Tara from you of all people. But, you did understand. Tara went through a traumatic experience, and she jumped into a relationship with you the moment you came back. Not to mention the circumstances surrounding you leaving weren’t the best either. Sam couldn’t know that you and Tara completely talked it out, before you got together, and then during the rest of the day, you just talked it all over. Or at least the most important topics.

So, between understanding where Sam was coming from and the excitement you felt over being with Tara you couldn't wipe that stupid grin off your face as you glanced at Tara debating with Mindy on which movie to watch was enough of an answer on its own. "Yeah, it kinda just happened," you then quickly raised your hand. "Before you give me protective older sister speech, I know. I get it. If I ever hurt her you're free to do whatever you want," of course, after you chose your own fitting punishment.

Sam nodded, smiling at your reassurance. "Honestly, if it had to be anyone, I'm glad it's you," she looked at Tara, at the grin on her face that mirrored your own when she glanced toward you. "She's happy with you."

"Sam, Y/N, come on!" Tara said, interrupting the conversation you had with Sam, still, you doubted there was anything else left to say. Sam approved, even if she was justifiably concerned for her sister.

~X~

As the celebration began coming to a close the five of you were left sitting, just chilling in your and Tara’s apartment. Mindy and Chad were on the couch and Chad was eating his second slice of cake. Sam and Mindy refused the seconds, but you and Tara were sharing a piece, since Tara was already full, but craved something sweet and you weren't about to turn down extra cake. Sam was sitting at the bottom of your and Tara’s bed, while you sat cross-legged on your bed with Tara sitting on your lap. You had one arm around her waist while holding the plate in the other. Tara was the one with the duty to feed either of you.

"Hey, what should we do when we leave Woodsboro?" Chad suddenly asked as he took another bite of his cake.

"Go to university, get our degrees, you know how it goes," Mindy didn't seem too interested in the topic.

"Well yeah, but I'd like us to stick together. You know, after what we went through," he said and you couldn't help but feel relief at his words.

You glanced at Tara, seeing the hopeful look in her eyes. This clearly wasn't something they talked about before.

"I don't think I can trust other people easily, after what Amber did," Mindy admitted. "And I really care about you two," she said to Chad and Tara. "No offense, Y/N, Sam."

"None taken, I get it," Sam immediately assured her and you just grinned.

You and Mindy were friends, you were on good terms, you could see she was happy for you and Tara. You also fully understood it was a friendship that relied on your mutual connection to Tara.

"Well, I care about all of you," Chad was, for the lack of a better description, much more open to caring about people than Mindy. Granted, you had more in common with Chad than Mindy, so that may have had something to do with the closer friendship the two of you had.

"How about we pick the same university and rent an apartment together?" Tara went for the best-case scenario in her head.

Mindy immediately crossed her arms in an X shape. "No way, university yes, but living with you two? No, I can't handle how stuck together you two are," she immediately shut it down.

Tara laughed, jokingly smacking her shoulder. "We're not that bad!"

Mindy just looked at Tara blankly and shook her head. "T. We know what you did yesterday, a day into your relationship, by the way," Tara and you blushed at that. "Also, kind of hard to believe you when you haven't left Y/N's lap for longer than a minute the whole night."

"She got you there Snuggle Bear," you snickered, pulling the embarrassed girl closer to you.

Tara pouted and untangled herself from you, so she could go to Sam who happily accepted the role of hugging her sister.

"There, there, don't worry about it," Sam smoothed Tara's hair and pulled Tara to her right side. Tara eagerly leaned into Sam's embrace.

"See! This is what I'm talking about! As if being sweet with Y/N wasn't enough, there's Sam as well!" Mindy laughed and honestly, given the situation, you and Chad couldn't help but join in. "It never ends, and I worry it might be contagious."

Tara just turned around and stuck her tongue out.

'We're all just touch-starved, aren't we?' you couldn't help but think as you shook your head slightly.

"No, look at it from the brighter side, at least she's going from one to the other," and Chad had to say it.

Tara immediately perked up and looked at you. "Y/N," she said sweetly and made a 'come here' motion with her hand.

"No!" Mindy and Chad jumped to grabbed onto you.

"Duty calls," you smirked, getting up to shake the two off and get closer to Tara and Sam despite the two trying to pull you back.

"Stay with us Y/N! She has you wrapped around her little finger!" Mindy laughed.

"How does Tara hold you back and pull you around all the time?" Chad complained as he relented and gave up on trying to hold you back.

Looking over your shoulder you saw Mindy looking at Chad with an 'Are-you-serious' look on her face.

"I let her," you shrugged and dropped down next to Tara. "Yes, Tara?"

Tara glanced down at her left hand, resting on her thigh. Then she glanced at your own hand. Okay, you could figure that one out. You leaned back and slid your arm around Tara's lower back so you could reach her left hand from behind. "Like this?"

"Just like that," going by the smile on Tara's face she really enjoyed the moment. Sam having her arm around Tara's shoulders and you hugging her at the same time.

"See, it's like she has two guard dogs now," Mindy's laughter suddenly stopped. The reminder of Amber's nickname for you hanging in the air like an uncomfortable weight on everyone's shoulders. "Shit, sorry, Tara," she apologized.

"No, don't worry about it," Tara got up, but before you or Sam could go after her Mindy got up and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm really sorry. For teasing as well, hug them all you want," Mindy dropped the tough act just for a few moments.

Tara returned the hug and you saw her shoulders relaxing before the two girls separated.

"Uh, I'd like a hug too," Chad grinned sheepishly, prompting Tara to hug him as well.

If there really was a group of life-long friends forming between the five of you there was no doubt in your mind the heart and soul of that group was Tara.

A/N: The gift is an idea from Anon's headcanon, I didn't even know those were a thing until Anon mentioned them. Thank you, Anon!

#tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x female reader #scream #jenna ortega x reader #x reader

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tonyspank · 1 year

Text

HEART

Warnings: Swearing, Frankie, bad writing and a taser?

A/N: Currently writing the next chapter for The Party & The After Party, also this could be read as GN! , there's a few mentions that you're a female tho

Words: 2.7k

Tara Carpenter x Female! Reader

Being Chad Meek's best friend had a lot of benefits. Including, knowing when a party was happening. This is exactly how you found yourself at this house party, dressed up as Spider-Man.

You knew Chad from your football team, he was your quarterback and you were the first female wide receiver to ever play in Blackmore University or the NCAA division in general.

Due to that everyone knew who you were, but you didn't care about the fame or the popularity, you just wanted to enjoy college and get to play football alongside your best friend.

There had been times when people would try to befriend or even date you for your name instead of your actual personality, and it made it hard for you to truly make friends or fall for someone.

Your trust issues began when your ex-girlfriend cheated on you with Frankie. She was the first person (other than Chad) to introduce herself to you and show you around campus.

The two of you started dating about three months after your friendship, and something always felt a little off. It felt as if you were on the same page but on different levels. You wanted to stay out and watch stupid thriller movies and cuddle on the couch while she wanted to go out to parties and show you off anytime she could.

You and Kayla did have a couple of things in common, you got along well, but if anything it was intuitively that you were more like friends or whatever. Sure, you guys were intimate but it still didn't feel right, you were never in love.

And you surely knew she didn't love you.

Especially, after seeing her under Frankie in your own dorm room.

Yeah, that was very disrespectful.

She then proceeded to tell you that she never liked you and only used you for Instagram followers and more friends. Yes, it hurt. But it was better to have her out of your life than to be living with a lie.

After your breakup with Kayla, you thought you'd be sad, but in reality, it just opened up your eyes a bit more. You felt more at ease.

"What's wrong with my sweatpants?" You ask, your voice slightly muffled through the Spider-Man masking over your face.

"I'm telling you I've never seen Spider-Man wear sweatpants," Chad tells you, taking a sip of his drink. You playfully roll your eyes looking over to Ethan for his help, noticing he speaks up.

"Actually, he does in the Miles Morales Spider-Man and Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man did behind the scenes."

"But none of that is live action," Chad argues his case causing you to let out a sigh.

"Regardless of how uncanon my Spider-sweats are." Chad furrows his eyebrows shaking his head as you continue, "I still have the best costume here."

"I think Ethan's outfit is pretty cute," Chad says, motioning to Ethan who smiles in response. You jokingly pinch the curly-haired boys' cheeks, "Yeah, but Ethan's just cute in general."

Ethan slaps away your hand while Chad shrugs nodding in agreement. "I'm going to go bother the lovebirds!" You quickly announce, patting Chad's shoulder before leaving.

You make your way through drunk college students and sweaty bodies before noticing Mindy and Anika cuddled up on the couch, walking over you softly push them apart, sitting right between them.

Mindy sends you a playfully fake smile leaning in close to whisper, "I'm going to fucking beat your ass after this party." She fake laughs afterwards noticing that Anika is watching. You fake laugh as well, but side-eye Mindy in slight fear which she can't see due to the Spider-Man covering your face.

Anika is about to say something but her eyes wander off, worry filling her face. Both you and Mindy follow her view, and you notice a female pirate walking alongside Frankie.

You clench your jaw as Anika voices her worries, "Ohhh, I don't love that." Mindy hums in agreement, Anika quickly gets up, softly grabbing the pirate's arm. She turns around with a smile listening to her friend. "Hey, wanna call it a night?"

The smile is still prominent on her face she looks around before answering, "No, uh. I actually think that I'm still going to hang, but you guys don't have to wait for me."

Frankie speaks up with a smirk on his face, "Don't worry. I'll take care of her, I'm Frankie."

Anika shakes her head, "And I'm spectacularly uninterested in knowing anything about you." Frankie scoffs in response while the female Captain Hook laughs, leaning in as she lowers her voice. "No, dude. Anika, I'm not that bad."

She takes a few steps back, slightly walking away. "But I appreciate you looking out for me." Frankie sends Anika a cocky smile before following the dark-haired girl.

You decide now is the time to step in, "I'm going to go help her." Mindy nods her head, sitting up on the couch as you walk over to Anika.

"I'll follow her. You get Chad." You instruct, Anika mumbles, "Okay." And you both walk off in different directions.

"Aren't you that girl involved in that 'Stab' shit in California last year?" You hear Frankie as, she lets out a chuckle, "No. That's a different pirate."

Standing at the end of the steps you speak up, "Frankie! Hey, why don't we keep the party down here? I'd hate to miss out."

Frankie and the pirate turn around at your voice, and you feel Chad beside you. "I think we're good Y/L/N." He replies, recognizing your voice through the mask.

"Well, Tara's good down here." Chad joins in, and immediately Frankie responds. "I'm sorry. I didn't catch that."

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, you did." Chad remarks, trying his best to stay calm. Tara walks down a couple of steps, standing in front of you and Chad. "No, Chad it's fine. I want to."

Frankie walks down too, getting close to Chad's face. "Yeah, see Chad? It's fine she wants to." He turns back around but not before roughly grabbing Tara by her arm, she lets out an, "Ow." and you swiftly grab Frankie by his shirt, pulling him down the stairs.

"Don't fucking grab her like that." You push him away into the wall and a crowd suddenly appears, you don't notice Chad checking on Tara as you're focused on the Frat boy in front of you.

He pushes you back, "Get the fuck off me!" Tara removes herself from Chad's grip walking behind you and gripping your Spider-suit as much as she can, using all of her drunken strength to pull you away from Frankie. "Guys! Guys stop."

Chad angrily steps in, grabbing Frankie by his shirt, and pushing him onto the ground. And as you're being pulled away by Tara, Mindy walks in waving a hand basically telling you to go help Chad.

You glance at Chad then Tara who's shocked at the sight going on in front of you, then at Mindy. You knew Chad could handle himself for a couple of seconds until you got the drunk pirate out of the situation before she hurt herself trying to split up another fight.

"Excuse me!" You shout at the crowd, nearly everyone steps out of your way as you slightly and as softly as you can pull Tara away. Your heart drops when someone suddenly appears in front of you, "Hi! Sorry to interrupt, I'm just going to tase you really quick." Before you could plead your case, you feel a sharp pain in your stomach causing you to drop to your knees.

"Fuck!" You yell out, slapping your hand against the wooden floor. It felt like every muscle in your stomach had a Charlie horse, and you couldn't help but stay curled up on the ground even while Mindy rushed to your side, alongside Tara asking you if you were okay.

Chad was also there too, with a bloody nose. He takes off your mask, showing everyone your squinted eyes, furrowed eyebrows, and your parted lips.

Sam stands there, confused and guilty. Did she tase the wrong person?

"Sam! You tased the wrong person!" Mindy shouts at her. Oh. She did tase the wrong person.

You roll over onto your back, your hands on top of your stomach and you sit up. The group is silent, waiting for your reaction. "Fuck... that really hurt." You mumble, letting out a small laugh after.

Chad smiles, confused but begins laughing with you and everyone soon joins in, helping you up from the ground. As Chad and Mindy both have your arm making sure you were okay Sam walks up, and her face is filled with guilt.

"Holy shit! It's that psycho girl!" Someone yells out from the crowd. Sam sends a slight glare before turning her head back toward you.

"Shit. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to—" You cut her off with a wave, "It's okay." You then tell the twins you're okay, and they reluctantly let you go.

You look around looking for Frankie who definitely deserved the thirty seconds of pain you went through. Noticing he's gone you now focus on Chad, who whips his nose with a smirk on his face.

"I won the fight." He informs you with a jolly smile on his face.

Tara storms in front of the group, in embarrassment and anger at her sister.

"Tara! Will you stop!" Tara doesn't stop but only slightly turns her head to speak to her sister. "I cannot believe you did that, you embarrassed me!" Tara faces the front again, continuing her struts.

"I was trying to help you!" Tara turns around, upset if it wasn't obvious before. "And look what happened!" She raises her voice, motioning to you. Your face heats up in embarrassment, as you scratch your nose.

"You're out of my life for five years then you can't even leave me alone for five seconds!" She shouts, throwing her arms up.

"Because you're not dealing with what happened to us. Have you ever gone to see the counsellor at least once?" You look around the group, seeing Mindy let out a sigh watching the scene unfold in front of her.

"No, and I'm not going to." Sam shakes her head, "Why not!"

"Because I'm uninterested in living in the past like you are." Sam furrows her eyebrows, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Chad then takes in a deep breath, tired of the back and forth between the two siblings. "Hey, guys, come on—" He's unheard or ignored as Tara continues. "It means I'm not gonna let what happen to us for three days define the rest of my life!"

"So you're just going to pretend it never happened?" Tara closes her eyes, trying to calm down, and when she reopens them her tone is softer than before.

"What are you doing here Sam? In New York." Sam scoffs, as Tara continues. "I mean y-you're working two shitty jobs to help with.. rent, whatever, but what's your plan?" She stumbles a bit on her words, and you think it's due to the alcohol in her system.

Sam slightly shakes her head, not knowing what to say as Tara proceeds with her point. "I know what I'm going to do. Okay? Because I'm going to keep going to college, I'm going to get my degree, and I'm gonna live my life."

You twist your lips and shift your weight from one foot to another.

"My life," Tara says, slapping her hand against her chest. "That I know." Sam eyes her sister with a slight furrow in her eyebrows. "You just follow me here and you won't let me out of your sight."

"Just trying to look out for you." Tara speaks up, "I—" but cuts herself off, letting out a sigh as she runs her hands down her face. "I know. I know you are."

"You can't do it for the rest of my life though, you have to let me go." There are footsteps heard coming up, Tara turns her head and before anyone could react or say something, Sam is getting a drink splashed onto her.

The girl yells out, "Murderer!" as her one of friends records. Sam gives the girl a shove causing her to slightly stumble back, quickly Chad and you hold Sam back not wanting her to do anything rash. "Fuck is wrong with you, bitch!"

The girl points at Sam, "You guys should stay away from her. She knows what she did!" Sam pushes Chad away, and Tara joins in with you trying to hold back her surprisingly strong sister. "I didn't fucking do anything!"

"Sure, bitch." The girl says, walking away backwards with her friends.

As the group walks away you stand back waiting for Sam as she rings out her shirt, Ethan takes notice of this, walking back and offering her tissues. She eyes the boy before taking the tissues out of his hand. Ethan walks off once Sam looks at him.

You walk to Sam, offering her your Spider-Man mask, "Uh, it's not a tissue but I'm sure it'll help?" She shakes her head waving it off.

"Also, um. I'm Y/N, and for what it's worth I think you're a good sister for trying." She stares at you a bit before nodding, and you begin walking away following the group.

Before you know it you're standing in the middle of the Carpenter-Bailey's living room, awkwardly. Chad is settling down, taking off his jacket and hat and putting on a t-shirt.

Sam, Tara, and Quinn were all in their selected rooms as the rest of you were in the living room.

"Chad?" He hums in response turning around to face you, "I think I'm going to leave."

"Oh, okay. Need me to walk you home?" He genuinely asks, you shake your head. "Nah, it's fine. Tell Tara and Sam it was nice to meet them."

You wave goodbye to Mindy and Anika who are sitting on the couch in front of you before exiting the apartment.

Moments pass and Tara's back in the living room, looking around. "What are you looking for?" Mindy laughs confused, Tara looked like a lost puppy as she searched around the small apartment.

"Where'd she go?" The two girls and Chad furrow their eyebrows. "Who?" Anika asks.

"Uh, Chad's friend." She utters, embarrassed. Mindy immediately noticed how pink Tara's cheeks were and the paper in her hand. Mindy shoots up from the couch, "What's that?"

Tara's eyes move to Mindy's view, she quickly pockets the folded note. "Nothing! I just felt bad that Sam tased the fuck out of them when they wanted to help me."

Mindy turns her head at Anika and Chad, raising her eyebrows and they instantly get the message. Tara thinks you're cute, and that note would confirm it. "Oh!" Chad says, standing up from his chair. "I could always give it to her."

Tara's eyes leave Mindy and go to Chad, "Really?" She says hopefully, "You wouldn't read it right?"

Quickly he shakes his head, "No. No. No! Of, course not!" He holds out his hand so Tara can give him the note, and she does. Anika watches this from the couch, but her jaw drops when she sees Mindy's hand snatch the note and runs to her with it.

"Mindy!" Tara shouts, trying to run after her but Chad grabs her, and all Tara can do is watch Mindy open her note in, reading it out loud.

"hi! this is tara, the pirate from the party. sorry that we had to meet on such terms, please let me make it up to you, from tara. HEART!" Mindy reads, shouting the last bit.

Chad lets Tara go with a shocked face, and Tara covers her own face in embarrassment.

Everyone's head turns to the door, noticing you standing there. "Hi..." You awkwardly, mumble out. "I forgot my mask." You tell them, pointing at it beside Anika on the couch.

Mindy looks at the mask, then at you. "How long have you been here?"

"Um.." You scratch your eyebrow. "Long enough to accept Tara's proposal." You laugh, with a cheeky smile.

Tara smiles widely, her face nearly as red as a tomato.

#reader insert #jenna ortega x reader #wattpad #jenna ortega #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter x you #scream #scream 6 #tara carpenter x fem reader #jenna marie ortega

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httplilyyy · 1 year

Text

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 || 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑

pairing: tara carpenter x reader

summary: after a violent night involving ghostface, feelings rise to the surface.

warnings: blood, descriptions of violence, knives, guns, character death, swearing, bad writing

word count: 3.5k

a/n: this is my first fic for tara and the scream franchise so i hope its up to standards and that you’ll like it :)

scream masterlist

If somebody was to tell you a year a go this is where you would be, you would’ve laughed in their faces. Yet here you were, sitting in the back of a car with your best friend, Tara, beside you, frantically looking for her inhaler.

You had known the Carpenters for your whole life, living next door to them came with pros and cons but you couldn’t have been more grateful for the friendship that had formed between you and Tara.

However, it was only as of lately, you had started to grow feelings for the younger Carpenter. Yet you decided it was best to bury those feelings, even if it hurt you in the process.

You were falling in love and you were falling fast. Whilst you were so caught up in your own thoughts you missed the way that Tara looked at you. Her inhaler was long forgotten, only the thought of you was on her mind.

Sam made Richie drive to Amber’s house to see if she had Tara’s spare inhaler and she noticed the two of you were very quiet in the back.

The both of you were pining over each other, however, the only thing stopping the two of you from telling your true feelings to each other was the fact that you were best friends. As well as a certain murderer trying to kill Tara and Sam.

You weren't actually sure when it all went wrong. How you went from getting Tara’s spare inhaler to you being chased through Stu Macher’s old house, trying to escape Ghostface.

Sprinting up the stairs, you found a room and made a beeline for it. After managing to close the door just in time you pushed a dresser in front of it, making sure that no one could get in.

You grunt as you let your back hit the wall, sliding down it until you come to a stop when you meet the floor. Your tense body goes limp as you sit there, heavy breaths falling from your lips.

Finally managing to catch your breath for only a second, when you heard grunting coming from a closet. Heart rate increasing at the possibilities, you cautiously got up from the ground and made your way towards the sound.

Hand resting on the handle, you contemplated whether you should open it or not. That little debate didn't go on for long and you swiftly opened the closet door.

To your surprise, Tara was sitting on the floor, bound and gagged, eyes wide with fear.

“Tara.” You muttered quietly, shock written on your features.

You searched your pockets for anything sharp when you felt the knife you had tucked into the belt of your jeans. Carefully, you cut through the duct tape on Tara’s wrists and she was quick to get rid of the tape around her mouth.

“W-what the hell is happening?” Tara rushed out. “And why do you have a knife?”

“Oh! I took it from the kitchen amongst others.” You smiled, but soon realised that may not have been the best thing to do.

“Why do you need more than one? If you’re going to kill me-”

“No! No, of course not.” You cut Tara off. “Not you at least.”

“What does that mean?” Tara questioned, a slight tremble was heard in her voice.

“What’d you say we kill these fuckers, huh?” You whispered, tilting your head a little.

“And how exactly is that going to work?” Tara wondered, gesturing to her broken leg.

“I have a plan, do you trust me?” You asked, holding your hand out.

‘Do you trust me?’ The question runs laps around in Tara's mind. Does she trust you? Of course she does, you're her best friend after all, but in this situation, she’s not so sure. How can she trust you after everything she has been through? How did she know if you weren't the killer?

Hesitantly, she took your hand, letting you pull her up from the ground.

“One wrong move and you're dead.” Tara mumbled, a stern look on her face.

“I wouldn't doubt it,” you smiled, “if you don't kill me then your sister probably will.”

“Okay, so how is this going to work?” Tara asked as she pointed between the two of you.

“You’re going to play the helpless victim, whilst I play Ghostface.” You smirked.

“This is how I die.” Tara said quietly, which you didn't miss, but she nodded her head, agreeing to your plan.

“I’m going to need you to be really quiet. Can you do that for me?” You questioned, placing your knife under her chin, tilting her head to look up at you.

Tara wordlessly nodded, a slight flicker of fear behind her features as she looked into your eyes.

“Good girl.”

Retracting your knife away from Tara, you frantically looked around the room for one specific thing. That of which you found in the same very closet Tara was in only moments ago.

You pulled out a Ghostface mask and costume, turning to Tara, you held up the item of clothing, the smile on your face only growing wider.

“Would you like to play a game, Tara?” You asked and what you said seemed to trigger something inside her.

“W-what did you just say?”

“Are you ready?”

“N-no y-you said-”

“I’m just messing with you.”

“I don’t- I-”

"I've got this handled, okay? Stop worrying so much”

“Yeah, okay.” Tara breathed.

“I’ve got to make it a little believable, don’t I?”

“Right,” Tara trailed off, “so what do you want me to do?”

“Follow me.” You smiled before pulling on the Ghostface mask.

“Thank God you’re okay…” You heard Richie say, a trembling Tara rested in your arms. “Because I really wanted to be the one to kill you.”

Richie stabbed Sam in her side and you had put a hand over Tara’s mouth to stop the scream that threatened to fall from her lips.

Sam stared at her boyfriend in disbelief, sinking to her knees as the second ghostface revealed themselves as Amber.

Richie leaned down next to Sam, taking the gun from her, gently, before handing it to Amber.

“I know. It’s a bummer, it's me." Richie said before he held up the Ghostface verbalizer, “But it’s really the best twist for the movie.”

“No…” Sam trailed off.

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“This isn’t... a fucking movie…”

“No. But it will be. And that’s the point, right Amber?

“Right, hon.” Amber agreed, looking around. “Third Act bloodbath, check. Killers revealed, check... Time for the big finale. Let’s get ‘em into the kitchen.”

Amber forced Sidney to her feet, pushing her with the gun as Richie carried a bleeding Sam into the kitchen. All whilst you and Tara stood watching the whole thing.

Tara was desperately trying to get out of your arms but you held a tight grip on her. At one point she nearly escaped but you pushed her into a nearby wall.

“Stop.” You said, placing a hand back over Tara's mouth. “We have to wait.”

“Fuck you.” Tara spat, pulling your hand from her face.

“I’m flattered, really, but not now, maybe later.” You teased.

“You’re a dick.” tara mumbled, punching your arm, not having any malicious intent behind it.

“I’m trying to help you.” You whisper-shouted.

“By making me watch my sister get stabbed? How is that helping me?”

“I’m your best friend! I'm always going to help you.”

Those words, although they were reassuring, felt like a knife to the heart for the both of you. Best friends. Nothing more. Never.

“Enough with this secret shit! Tell me what you are going to do!”

You were about to reply when you heard Amber shout, ‘she’s not here’ from upstairs.

“The fuck do you mean she’s not there?” Richie yelled back, turning to face Sam.

“I guess you are finally going to see what I am going to do.” You said, placing a knife in each of her pockets, one for her, the other for her sister.

You pulled Tara by the arm, dragging her into the kitchen with your own knife pressed against her neck.

“Of course she’s not up there.” You said, the Ghostface vocaliser changing the tone of your voice. “She’s right here.”

Richie turned around to face you and his eyes rose along with Sam’s, Sidney’s and Gale’s, all in complete shock that there was another Ghostface.

“A third?” Gale questioned, hand tight against her side. “You've gotta be shitting me.”

“Oh, I am going to enjoy this.” You laughed tauntingly as you pressed the knife harder onto Tara’s neck, but not enough to hurt her.

“Tara…” Sam gasped, her eyes darting between you and her sister.

“W-who are you?” Richie asked, pointing his knife towards you.

“What you can’t be.” You shrugged.

“And what’s that?”

“I guess you’ll have to find that one out, won’t you?” You said, tilting your head.

“Is this some shitty little game you’re trying to play?”

“Possibly.”

“Right, and who dies first?”

“You.”

“Amber?” Richie yelled, desperately trying to find the girl.

At that point, Amber returned and stopped in her tracks once she saw you. Confused as to how there was another Ghostface, she watched as you looked over your shoulder, slowly, as if you were teasing her.

“Hello, Amber.” You said. “What a lovely surprise. I must say I expected more.”

“I’m sorry?” Amber asked incredulously.

“Oh it's okay, you can still redeem yourself.” You chuckled.

“What the fuck is going on?”

“Now, now, let's not get angsty here.” You said, pushing Tara towards her sister carefully.

“Who the fuck are you?” Richie questioned again.

“If you don’t tell us who the fuck you are we will slit your throat” Amber sneered.

“Oh, no.” You said sarcastically. “I’m sooo scared.”

“Tell us who you are!”

“Fine.” You shouted, throwing your hands up in the air. “I’m a big fan.”

“Of who? Us?” Richie asked.

“No, of course not,” you chuckled, “of Sidney and Gale, duh.”

“So why are you dressed as Ghostface?” Sidney questioned.

You turned to face the older woman, but you were actually looking at Tara. The younger Carpenter gave you a discrete nod which you returned.

“So we can kill them.” You replied, turning back to face Amber whilst Tara placed the knife you gave her in her sister's hand as well as taking the other for her.

“We?” Richie wondered out loud and before he could even think, you had tackled Amber to the ground, Sam doing the same to Richie.

Sidney, Gale and Tara watched on as the four of you rolled around on the floor, trying to kill one another. Both Sidney and Gale, helped Tara get out of the kitchen and make their way out of the house.

You were straddling Amber, using some, but not all, of your strength to push the blade of your knife between her eyes. Behind you, you could hear Sam struggling to wrestle with Richie.

Grunting, you pushed the knife down onto Amber, however, it only went through her clavicle on her right. With one final punch to the face, Amber was knocked out unconscious which left just enough time for you to get to Sam.

You watched as Richie placed the barrel of his gun to Sam’s forehead but before he could pull the trigger you tackled him to the ground. The sound of the gun went off and a searing pain was felt on your bicep.

“That actually hurt. Wow.” You said, ripping off your mask, revealing your face.

“You?!” Richie exclaimed, standing back up.

“Yes, me. Don’t seem so surprised.” You replied, holding your hand over your fresh wound as you stood up too.

“Why?”

“For shits and giggles.” You deadpanned as you slowly stalked towards Amber once again, but before you could get closer, Richie stepped in front of you. "Move."

Richie did and he circled around you, waiting for your next move. Once you took a step forward Richie attacked you from behind.

You had expected for Richie to try and hit you so you easily dodged his fist. You grabbed his arm and threw him over your shoulder trying to get him to fall to the floor but he just did a forward roll and got up again. This time you were face to face.

“Sam get out of here.” You shouted over your shoulder, receiving a punch to the gut from Richie, causing you to stumble backwards.

Sam listened to you and she scrambled to her feet, she bolted out of the kitchen and made a run for the front door.

“Saaaaaaam! Where you going? Your big scene’s coming up!” Richie yelled, forgetting about you and following the older Carpenter out of the kitchen.

“Looks like it's just you and me.” You said, standing over Amber's body, watching as she came back into consciousness.

Before Amber could get up, you shot a hand out and wrapped it around her throat. The girl desperately clawed at your forearm, trying to get you to release your grip.

You pulled her up so she was standing on her feet and threw her over the kitchen counter. But before you knew it she had gotten up, taken a knife from the counter and charged towards you.

Before you could even comprehend what was going on, another gunshot was sounded throughout the house, then a thud. As Amber's body fell you saw Tara stand behind her, gun in hand as she leaned onto the door frame.

“Tara, what the hell?” You exclaimed, rushing over to her.

“Stop!” Tara shouted, holding the gun up to your head.

“Tara-” You said, voice a little quieter than it was before, holding your hands up in surrender.

“Stop.” Tara said again, this time however her lip trembled as her voice broke.

“I have, I'm not moving until you want me to.”

“Where’s my sister?”

“She went off to find you, I presume, but other than that I don't know.”

“Come with me.” Tara said, walking off into another room but as soon as you were going to follow her, Amber came up behind you and stabbed you in the back.

You let out a low, pained yell. Hearing as Amber laughed behind you, you felt her push the knife in deeper.

Crumpling to your knees, you felt as if your senses had been dialled to a thousand. You could suddenly feel everything, from how fast your heart was beating to the bead of sweat falling down your temple.

“Shit.” You heard someone whisper from behind you and then you felt the knife being pulled from your back.

Falling to your hands, you looked to the side and saw Sidney and Gale fight Amber. You watched as Sidney crashed a bottle over Amber's head, the girl losing her footing and hitting the floor.

Not wasting any more time, you stumbled to your feet and looked at the women in appreciation before stumbling as quickly as you could to find Tara.

“I’m introducing a new rule…” You heard Sam mutter.

You rounded a corner and saw Tara watching from afar, stuck in her spot as Sam crawled away from Richie.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Richie taunted, watching as Sam inched forward but not noticing her wrapping her fingers around a knife.

“Come here and I’ll tell you…”

Richie kneeled, grabbing the hair on the back of Sam’s head, wrenching her face to his.

“Well?”

“Never fuck with the daughter of a serial killer.” Sam whispered as she stabbed Richie in the face. The blade went through his cheek into his mouth before coming out the other side.

She didn’t stop there. She continued to stab his chest and stomach. Richie fell backwards, grouting blood, stunned. Sam straddled him and continued her onslaught.

“But... I can’t die... Who’s gonna be the villain in the sequel..?”

“That’s the sequel’s problem.” Sam grunted before she slit his throat.

Sam rose unsteadily, dropping the knife to her side when Sidney and Gale appeared from the kitchen.

“Be careful, they always come back-” Sidney said as Sam took the gun from her hand and emptied the entire clip onto Richie's body, the last one going straight through his skull.

A beat goes past as Sidney and Gale exchange a look.

“Okay then.” Gale uttered, in complete shock.

The silence is quickly interrupted by Amber screaming, a knife raised in her hand as she advanced on the three standing above Richie's body.

But before she could even get close, Tara had pulled the trigger of the gun she was holding, the bullet going through Amber's head as she fell to the floor for one last time.

You stood behind Tara, watching her in shock, not thinking she had it in her but soon noticed as her fake exterior broke down as she stumbled over to her older sister.

The two of them embraced in a long and much needed hug. You stepped closer, tripping over your own feet, mainly due to blood loss.

Tara sniffled, lifting her head from Sam’s chest before turning to you. Tara didn't say anything as she walked towards you. She just put her hand around the base of your neck and brought your head towards hers so she could place her lips on yours.

The sudden action had stunned you, breath catching in your throat. You did not expect her to kiss you, especially in front of her sister. But as your brain started to register what was going on, you finally kissed back, putting your hands on her waist pulling her closer.

The kiss started out slow, almost hesitant, but quickly began to build. You grinned into the kiss, tightening your hands on Tara’s waist. As the two of you were pressed against each other, Tara moved her hands and wrapped them around your shoulders.

You pulled away reluctantly, resting your forehead on Tara’s. Letting out a small chuckle, you placed one last kiss to her lips before pulling her into a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re safe.” You whispered, feeling as Tara tightened her grip around you.

“All because of you.” Tara replied, pressing a kiss to your cheek as she pulled back to look in your eyes. “Even if your plan was utterly stupid.”

“It worked though, didn’t it?” You grinned.

“Luckily.” Tara scoffed, teasingly as she rolled her eyes.

“What’d you say we finally get out of here?” You questioned.

“I would love that.” Tara smiled, leaning against your side as she turned to look at her sister.

“Let's go then.” Sam said, replicating her sister's smile, opening the door for everyone.

The sun crests over the horizon as police cars and ambulances line the street. EMT’s rushed each of you to an ambulance to get treated for your wounds.

You sat beside Tara, holding onto one of her hands as Sam held the other. An EMT stitched up the stab wound on your back having already treated the one on your bicep.

The whole time you didn’t look away from Tara, exchanging smiles every now and then. Once you were fully patched up the EMT went off somewhere leaving you with the Carpenters.

“So.. are you two a thing now then?” Sam asked, a teasing smile plastered on her face.

“Sam!” Tara groaned, leaning into you, hiding her face in the crook of your neck.

“What? You did kiss them in front of me.” Sam said, chuckling at her sister's reaction.

“That’s up to y/n.” Tara mumbled into your neck and Sam raised her eyes to you, eyebrow quirking in question.

“Well, Tara? Would you be my girlfriend?” You asked, smiling as you felt her cheeks get hotter due to your question.

“Yeah, I'd love to.” Tara replied, removing her face from your neck to answer your question before pulling you into another quick kiss.

“You better treat her right, y/n.” Sam said, her protective side coming out.

“I will.” You said, smiling down at Tara in your arms.

“Good.” Sam nodded.

“Do you want to come with us?” Tara asked, looking between you and her sister, silently asking if that was okay, getting a nod from Sam.

“Of course, I'd go anywhere with you.” You said, squeezing Tara’s hand.

“Can you take us to a different hospital this time?” Tara asked the EMT that walked up to you three.

The EMT nodded and walked to the front of the ambulance, Sam noticed Sidney and Gale sitting in the back of another ambulance and told the two of you she would be back in a second.

Whilst Sam went off to speak to Sidney and Gale, you helped Tara get onto a stretcher. Once she was lying comfortably you sat beside her, holding her hand once again.

Sam hobbled back to the ambulance where you and Tara were in a deep conversation, the two of you talking animatedly.

She smiled at the sight and climbed into the back, taking a seat beside you. The two of you quietened your conversation and started a new one with Sam.

An EMT shut the doors and started the ambulance, turning on its sirens before finally pulling away from the dreaded property of Stu Macher’s old house.

#tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter imagine #tara carpenter imagines #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega imagine #jenna ortega imagines #scream #scream 5

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iamalasagnagirl · 2 months

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Pls, pls, pls I need more WLW book recommendations!!!

Adults, YA, spicy, soft, I don’t care. I just need wlw books because I want to switch from fanfics only to actual books as well

Okay, here we are, enjoy :)

Bright Falls Series by Ashley Herring Blake: 1. Delilah Green Doesn't Care -> Delilah Green swore she would never go back to Bright Falls - nothing is there for her except memories of a lonely childhood - but when Delilah's stepsister pressures her into photographing her wedding with a guilt trip and a large check, Delilah finds herself back in Bright Falls once more. She plans to breeze in and out, but then she sees Claire Sutherland, one of Astrid's stuck-up besties, and decides that maybe there's some fun (and a little retribution) to be had, after all. 2. Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail -> For Astrid Parker failure is unacceptable. When Pru Everwood asks her to be the designer for the Everwood Inn's renovation, which will be featured on a hugely popular home makeover show, Astrid is thrilled. However, Astrid never planned on Jordan Everwood, Pru's granddaughter and the lead carpenter for the renovation, who despises every modern design decision Astrid makes. Is she going to pursue the life that she's expected to lead or the one that she really wants? 3. Iris Kelly doesn't date -> Everyone around Iris Kelly is in love and she’s happy for all of them, truly. Iris doesn’t want any of that—dating, love, romance. She’ll stick to her commitment-free hookups. There’s only one problem—Iris is a romance author facing an imminent deadline for her second book, and she’s completely out of ideas. Perfectly happy to ignore her problems as per usual, Iris goes to a bar and meets a sexy stranger, Stefania, and a night of dancing and making out turns into the worst one-night stand Iris has had in her life. To get her mind off everything, Iris tries out for the lead role in a local play, a queer retelling of Much Ado About Nothing, but comes face-to-face with Stefania, whose real name turns out to be Stevie. Desperate to save face in front of her friends, Stevie asks Iris to play along as her girlfriend. Iris is shocked, but when she realizes the arrangement might provide her with some much-needed romantic content for her book, she agrees. As the two women play the part of a happy couple, lines start to blur.

Falls from grace by Ruby Landers -> Savannah Grace and her band were huge stars in Nashville. Now enlists Noah Lyman - an indie musician - to help her break out of country music and make a name for herself for once and for all. They have to spend the winter in Savannah secluded vacation home in the woods of Vermont, and Noah brings along his best friend Brynn Marshall and pretend she’s his wife? After all, what could possibly go wrong?

The secret of you and me by Melissa Lenhardt -> Nora hasn’t looked back. Not since she fled Texas to start a new life. Now she can live—and love—however she wants. The only problem is that she also left behind the one woman she can’t forget. Now tragedy calls her back home to confront her past—and reconcile her future.

Books by Haley Cass: - Those Who Wait and the follow-up Forever and A Day -> Spencer Sutton, the daughter of a congressman, and Charlotte Thompson, New York City’s youngest deputy mayor, meet on SapphicSpark, a women-seeking-women dating app. Sutton isn’t built for casual, and Charlotte needs to keep a low profile as the race heats up. In spite of that, a friendship blossoms as Charlotte helps Sutton navigate the dating world. - Down to A Science -> Ellie Beckett is a scientific genius finishing a Ph.D. at MIT, sitting on her stool at her favorite bar, putting the final touches on her thesis - her life is predictable and comfortable enough, until the night Mia Sharpe walks in to play pool with some friends and things are never the same again. and On the same Page -> Riley Beckett met Gianna Mäkinen their first year at Boston University, and it changed everything for the both of them. She knows Gianna doesn't do romance or relationships, and she knows nothing could ever come between them. But when a holiday party mix-up sets in motion a domino effect of changes, Riley has to question everything she thought she knew about their relationship. What, exactly, does Gianna mean to her after all? - In the Long Run -> Taylor Vandenberg is busy running a successful travel blog. Brooke Watson and Taylor’s younger brother have been best friends for the majority of their lives. It means that even if Taylor isn’t physically present, she’s always been a part of Brooke’s most monumental life experiences. When Taylor lands back in Faircombe for an extended stay, it leads to more run-ins than Brooke would like. And more feelings than either may want to admit. - When You Least Expect It & Better Than Expected (I haven't had a chance to read them yet, but I have seen them recommended a lot)

If tomorrow doesn't come by Jen St. Jude -> On the morning Avery Byrne plans to end her life, the world discovers there are only nine days left to live: an asteroid is headed for Earth, and no one can stop it. As time runs out and secrets slowly come to light, Avery fights her way home to save the girl she has been in love with her whole life. But can Avery also learn to save herself and find hope again in the tomorrows she has left?

Kiss her once for me by Alison Cochrun -> Ellie had a Christmas Eve meet-cute with a woman at a bookstore that led her to fall in love over the course of a single night. The next year, Andrew, the shop’s landlord where Ellie works, proposes a shocking, drunken plan: a marriage of convenience that will benefit both of them. They make a plan to spend the holidays together at his family cabin to keep up the ruse. But when Andrew introduces his new fiancée to his sister, Ellie is shocked to discover is the mysterious woman she fell for over the year before.

6 times we almost kissed (and one time we did) by Tess Sharpe -> Penny and Tate keep almost kissing. It’s just this confusing thing that keeps happening. You know, from time to time. For basically their entire teenaged existence. They’ve never talked about it. They’ve always ignored it in the aftermath. But now they’re living across the hall from each other. And some things—like their kisses—can’t be almosts forever.

Nottingham: the true story of Robin Hood by Anna Burke -> (A retelling of Robin Hood's story with a Female Robin and wlw couples) After a fateful hunting accident sends her on the run from the law, Robyn finds herself deep in the heart of Sherwood Forest. All she really wants to do is provide for her family and stay out of trouble, but when the Sheriff of Nottingham levies the largest tax in the history of England, she’s forced to take matters into her own hands. Relying on the help of her band of merry women and the Sheriff’s intriguing—and off limits—daughter, Marian, Robyn must find a way to pull off the biggest heist Sherwood has ever seen.

Forget me not by Alyson Derrick -> Stevie has a terrible fall. And when she comes to, she can remember nothing of the last two years—not California, not coming to terms with her sexuality, not even her girlfriend Nora. Suddenly, Stevie finds herself in a life she doesn’t quite understand. And Nora finds herself…forgotten.

It goes like this by Miel Moreland -> Eva, Celeste, Gina, and Steph used to play in world-famous queer pop band called Moonlight Overthrow. But after a sudden falling out leads to the dissolution of the teens' band, their friendship, and Eva and Celeste's starry-eyed romance, nothing is the same. Until a storm devastates their hometown, bringing the four ex-best-friends back together. As they prepare for one last show, they'll discover whether growing up always means growing apart.

Dominion Series by J J Arias: 1. Losing Control -> Talent agent Adriana Ortiz’s world is rocked when she’s thrust into the tumultuous orbit of Roxy, the raw, enigmatic pop rebel with a notorious edge and a guarded heart. Tasked with steering the wild Roxy on a whirlwind tour, Adriana boards Roxy’s opulent tour bus. The nights are filled with roaring crowds, but it’s the electric tension between Roxy and Adriana that sets the air on fire. A forbidden connection that threatens to consume them. Is the wild, unbridled Roxy worth the risk to Adriana’s career, or is she just another woman falling victim to Roxy’s charms? 2. Fighting for Control -> Lola Barros is a rising talent agent burning with ambition. Carmen Vargas is a dedicated lawyer poised to conquer the legal field. Their shared high-rise is the only thing these two powerhouses have in common. After a trivial parking mishap snowballs onto a full-blown feud, Lola and Carmen are thrust into unconventional anger management sessions and their fiery rivalry gives way to smoldering desire. But yielding to desire isn't straightforward. Between the shadows of demanding careers and familial expectations, their love is tested. Can Lola and Carmen find a balance between ambition and affection? 3. Relinquishing Control -> Natalia Flores rules her exclusive talent agency with an iron fist, brokering blockbuster deals while keeping everyone at arm’s length. But beneath the cold exterior lies a heart that yearns to be understood. Enter Professor Samantha Reyes—brilliant, fierce, and unwilling to let Natalia manipulate her way into the film rights to her book. Their encounters spark with tension and undeniable chemistry. In a world where control is everything, can two powerful women let go of their fears to find a love that’s worth the risk?

11:59 by Erica Lee -> TJ Edmonds has created a whole brand around not getting attached to other people. She has a best-selling novel and a popular phone app both dedicated to helping people stay detached from their significant others, so they don't get hurt. But the only reason she can move on so quickly now is because she still hasn't let go of someone from her past. It's easy to guard her heart when she no longer has it to give away. TJ texts Brooke everyday at 11:59 pm with no answers. What happens when, in a moment of weakness, this someone reaches out to TJ?

Price and Prejudice and the city by Rachel Lippincott -> Seventeen-year-old Audrey Cameron has lost her spark. After an embarrassing run-in with her ex-boyfriend, she’s told that she needs to get back out there and take risks. What she doesn't expect is to be transported to Regency England! Lucy Sinclair has her own problems when Audrey lands into her life, claiming to be from two hundred years in the future, it's a welcome distraction.

Never ever getting back together by Sophie Gonzales -> Maya and Skye are invited to star on the reality dating show Second-Chance Romance, to compete for their now famous ex-boyfriend's affections while the whole world watches. Skye wonders if she and Jordy can recapture the spark she knows they had, but Maya has other plans.

The art of us by KL Hughes -> Charlee and Alex fell in love at nineteen and dated for four years. Theirs was an enviable love — evergreen and growing. Unbreakable…Until it broke. Alex’s job now brings her back to Boston, after five years. When, by chance, they meet again, Charlee and Alex are swept up in a whirlwind of heart-rending history, tossed between past and present, and lovers old and new. Will their lingering connection be enough to convince them that some loves are meant to last? Or should the past remain in the past?

That secret something by Emily Wright -> Rebecca Lawson is off-limits. Jess knows this, but Rebecca has captured her heart for as long as she can remember. She’s sporty, tall and confident—all the things Jess is not—but most of all…she’s her best friend Lily’s sister. But when Jess and Rebecca are forced to spend time together the forbidden feelings intensify and sparks begin to fly. Amidst the chaos of raging bridezillas and other wedding disasters, can Jess resist temptation for the sake of her friendship?

The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid -> Aging and reclusive Hollywood movie icon Evelyn Hugo is finally ready to tell the truth about her glamorous and scandalous life. Summoned to Evelyn's luxurious apartment, Monique listens in fascination as the actress tells her story. From making her way to Los Angeles in the 1950s to her decision to leave show business in the '80s, and, of course, the seven husbands along the way

That summer feeling by Bridget Morrissey -> Turns out you're never too old for a summer camp romance. Or a change of heart. When a divorced woman attends a sleepaway camp for adults only, she reconnects with a man from her past - only to catch feelings for his sister instead.

Some of these are my absolute favourites, I've lost count of how many times I've read them. I cannot get enough of "the bright falls series", "One the same page", "Those who wait", "The secret of you and me" and the last entry "Falls From Grace". No matter how many times I read them. And sometimes I wish I could read them again, as if for the first time, if that makes sense. Anyway, I have a lot more titles. Let me know if you want them or not. Enjoy the reading

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