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#we've all been guilty of using the term - so it's always good to consider and listen
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Genuine question that I've been thinking about - do you think it's in bad taste to refer to the Jellicles as a "tribe", given the racial connotations of that word? I know the creators and fandom probably don't mean anything by it, and I'm not trying to start a fight in the fandom but with the the racism already present in some stagings of the show and the other words that exist to refer to a group of cats, do you think another word might be a better idea?
This is actually a very good question and overarching point, anon; one that I have found myself pondering from time to time. 
I'm afraid I don't believe I have the appropriate proverbial toolkit necessary to fully unpack this the way it deserves, nor do I have any kind of authority on this subject. It's a complex and nuanced matter that is heavily intertwined with critical race theory. The term "tribe", even at a very basic level, is deeply rooted in colonialism and horribly outdated 19th century social theory. The word does not (nor has it ever) inherently exist in neutrality because of these associations.
It does bring up two very important points that I can briefly touch on while opening up the floor, though, being the idea of intent (and whether that actually carries enough weight to "justify" anything), and the other overarching matter that whatever is associated with CATS can very quickly delve into otherwise uncomfortable territory, particularly in the racialized sense, as it (whatever it may be) is immediately associated with animals. Referring to a group of animals as a "tribe" is a very slippery slope downwards, when we consider it from that angle in association to the racially charged meaning behind the word.
I would say that having a better term to refer to the Jellicles is always an easily adaptable possibility (even just calling them a group of cats) - there really is no reason that the word still has to be used. However, again, I don't believe I have any qualification to comment upon this.
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Henlo how are you?
Are there any games besides Payday that you're really into? I've been pretty hyper fixated on Terraria recently. Idk I just really want an excuse to talk about Terraria with someone but like no one here plays it as far as I know and I have this pent up excited Terraria energy I just wanna unleash on someone but I don't want to confuse or burden anyone so I'm just in the corner alone with my Terraria hyper fixation. Sorry if that's too much I just wanted to ask you something but couldn't think of anything cool.
Actually I did have a good question (maybe idk). Are you proud of how you're doing with The Cell? Like are you satisfied with the direction it's going and how the plot is unfolding or do you just feel like it's not right or it could be better? Also completely unrelated but Jacket just coming in and cock blocking Wolf and Hoxton is fucking hilarious
Uh idk how to end this so I'm just gonna put an emoji here 🫠
Hi-iiiiiii
I have personally never played Terraria. My partner has played in the past & occasionally goes back to it, gets obsessed for a few days & then the cycle repeats itself all over again.
Games other than Payday I am obsessed with HMMM. Well... I often find myself going back to Left 4 Dead 2 (which isn't surprising considering it was inspo for Payday : The Heist). There's something weirdly comforting about it?
Recently I've been playing Pokemon Scarlet alongside my partner who plays Violet. We did our best to ignore news of new 'mons & spoilers & so far I have enjoyed the game! Pokemon came out when we were in primary school, so it's nostalgic for us to play, but we've also been playing the games together since we got together some 13 years ago, so it's kinda like a couples activity we do now, I guess.
I have a lot of time & love for Final Fantasy, too. FFIX & FFX are amongst some of my favourite games of all-time, but because of their nature (huge-ass games with sidequests that send the in-game clock into the hundreds of hours), they're not something I dip into all the time - but I do re-play them often, & even have tattoos referencing both games.
NOW ONTO THE CELL OH HO HO.
This is how I had imagined the Cell going all along, pretty much. I didn't always know how they would get to the exact position Wolf and Hoxton are in right now, but I knew that I wanted it to be an examination of Hoxton post-breakout, because when I first started playing Payday 2 (immediately after blasting through Payday: the Heist & loving it), I was disappointed that the development/story seemed to be told more through blocks of text accessible in menus & live-action films rather than in the game itself. Don't get me wrong, I love the live-action stuff and the opportunity to have written information on hand, but I felt a bit... disappointed... with how the breakout was this huge cinematic thing, and then the revenge happened, and then... Hoxton is back to his old self again? I didn't buy it. There would be more to it than that. Speaking as someone with anxiety, depression & PTSD... there's always more to it than that.
My original intention was to have the main focus be on Hoxton and his PTSD/anxiety/trauma from being left behind and replaced. As I started writing I quickly realised I was actually more comfortable writing from Wolf's POV. This inevitably meant I ended up focusing on his traumas too, but I'm not displeased with how it turned out that way.
I guess... when I first started writing it, I didn't think I would still be writing it so many months later. I knew it would be multi-chapter but I had no idea it would become as big as it has in terms of the word count.
Originally I wanted a way to take one of my favourite fanfic guilty pleasures tropes - 'but there was only one bed!' - and find a way to make it believable. We all love a good power-cut/thunderstorm situation - I've written them myself - but I wanted to challenge myself to write it in a more... plausible way?
I guesssss I also didn't intend on having Dallas be a prick... but he turned out that way.
If the focus is more on the 'am I proud' of the Cell, well... I have lost confidence in myself a bit recently. In the beginning I got a lot of comments which were really lovely & went into detail about what people liked or found funny, & now there are less of those & part of me wonders whether the readers are happy with the direction its going. That's... been a tough thought to deal with ngl, because I did really think I was telling a good story and telling it well, & now there's a lot more uncertainty & insecurity about it for me. But I need to hold steady and get the whole thing done so I can move on to something else because... it's been a long time.
Also lol Jacket. I originally wanted him to catch them in the previous chapter (before the rimjob scene), but figured it would be a bit awkward to have them get caught, then immediately getting back into it like 'OH WELL LOL', so I switched the order a bit instead.
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avissapiens · 2 years
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Avis' Subject Symposium: Dumbing Down Dread
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Art by Acro @sodalite96/https://twitter.com/sodalite96 Used with their permission. Go check them out!)
Recently and for basically my whole time producing Jock/Jock Adjacent Hypno content I’ve gotten a variation on the same question. “Is it possible to listen to your files without losing my I.Q. Points?” I’ve gotten it on discord, Tumblr Asks and DMs, Patreon messages, the works. I've always said this, but I.Q. is perhaps one of the worst ways that we've developed to measure intellect. Highly rigid and dogmatic, Deeply contextual to certain societies, developed as tools of eugenicist movements, and overall being relatively limited and restrictive to the type of intelligence that gets valued. (Here are some links and citations for further reading because one doesn't just make claims 1, 2, 3).
But it's good as short-hand and it is kind of alluring to imagine something as complicated as intelligence being twisted and manipulated like a knob on a console; raising and lowering a number.
Lots of really good tf stories have that hook. I'm even guilty of using the term once or twice in my files or my captions(though always with a disclaimer attached)
But overall I get the question that’s really being asked. You're basically worried that by using my files you're suddenly going to be zonked into a drooling incapable Moron and that scares you for some reason.
Well, first to assuage the fears of both you and many others. If you don't want it to happen (either consciously or unconsciously) then you probably have nothing to worry about. Any tist or file-creator worth their spirals will always tell you that your brain is fully capable of refusing most suggestions, and at any point you can say "No" or revoke consent.
That's the simple answer to your question.
However I'd like to use this as an opportunity to ask those of you with this similar concern to consider some alternate perspectives.
I've worked with a fair few people who would be considered very intelligent by the standards of most intellectual purists. College educated, Diplomas. Some with doctorates. Lawyers, actors, presenters, writers, More than one Biomed student.
All of whom have enjoyed Dumbing in one form or another. I've even partook of some of my own work like the Painted Himbo file and Enjoyed that Pink haze of ditzy dumbness myself. It is incredibly enjoyable. Freeing. Reducing your thoughts and vocabulary. Allowing that Uninhibited Fratty-Ditzy-Drooly Dumbness to overwhelm you.
One will note that the people I am talking about, myself included are not drooling invalids at this point in time.
That is because most people who go for dumbing do it as a part of a singular experience. A passing high like the buzz of a drink or a Smoke. They enjoy it and then they return to their baseline of competence, occasionally bringing along some of the more fun aspects of reduced capacity with enough Listens. Because as anyone who has done any form of hypnotic programming will tell you, in order to see long-term effects you've gotta listen consistently and put in the work yourself . Otherwise you're not gonna see any changes.
The majority of people will probably experience Dumbing Hypnosis in this fleeting, fun, experiential way, so there is nothing to be worried about for the majority of you. Go listen. Enjoy. Zonk to your hearts desire. However there is another perspective. Another question to ask.
Is it really that bad to be dumb?
Societal expectations and typical modern value systems prize certain forms of intellect because they are associated with productivity. In short, Smart people make slightly less smart but more ruthless people more money.
If you want to live within this system that’s more than ok. It's not bad to be smart. It has its perks.
But in my experience many of the subjects with whom I've worked who have been tempted by and decided for themselves to plunge deep into the realms of permanent dumbing have almost invariably come back out of it happier, healthier, and without an ounce of regret.
Men who had achieved the societal expectation of intellect but were never fulfilled by it. In fact were ravaged by the anxiety and dissatisfaction which it so often brings. Who relished the chance to finally give up that life and reduce their cares along with their Vocabulary. Restrict their anxiety in addition to their interests. To indulge in blissful ignorance and uninhibited joy. But even these people didn’t completely ruin their lives.
Can it truly said to be ruination if at the end of the day you have a smile on your face and a newfound appreciation for life? Its just a pivot. A change. Being smart is right for some people in the same way university might be right for some people. But it's not right for everyone.
So perhaps one should question if its ever been right for you, or if you might instead prefer to be like one of those Happy few who gave up the chains of expectation and lived for themselves for once.
Perhaps one should question how much your “High I.Q.” has really contributed to your overall happiness.
Perhaps you should give a few of my dumbing files a listen, cause surely Smart guys like you will be able to appreciate some of the arguments now that you know you have nothing to worry about.
Thanks again to Acro for letting me use their Art, definitely go and support them on twitter. And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences that you know you can trust, then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server. And check out my file archive on my website!
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butchsophiewalten · 2 years
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hey!! I haven't been caught up with twf since bunnyfarm + findjackwalten first launched, how exactly can I get all caught up rn? I'm so lost fjdjfjd
OH! Okay! so this is a pretty big ask i'll be honest? In some ways a lot has happened since then and in others nothing at all has happened since then. It depends on how interested you are in the little bits of extraneous fringe content that exists or if you're only really interested in the main meat of The Walten Files as a webseries + little website that updates sometimes. I'm not going to cover ALL the fringe content, but i will cover some of it. if you want me to explain it in complete detail you can send another ask and i will.
Ok, so, backtracking just a little, list of things the existed before you lost track of TWF that you may or may not have seen: -TWF 1-3 -The hidden videos Lucky You and Guilty -The first Showstoppers Album -The YouTube channel Sy05 (not extremely important but it's good to know this exists, at least.) -The YouTube channel FelixComplex K9 -Findjackwalten.com, as well as the hidden pages findjackwalten.com/missing findjackwalten.com/rosemarywalten findjackwalten.com/jennyletterson To briefly(lol) explain Sy05 and FelixComplex, Sy05 is a channel that would leave encoded messages in the comments of every episode of TWF (iirc including hidden videos?) that would be pinned by Martin Walls. The channel's only upload, "the ticking clock", was something like a countdown/teaser for the release of TWF3. The findjackwalten.com site was also originally found through the "Links" section on Sy05's "About" page before it was tweeted about by Martin Walls. Sy05 hasn't really done anything in a long time? hence why I say it's not really important. but there's always the possibility of activity kicking up after the release of TWF4.
FelixComplex K9 is a channel that is explicitly run by a character who exists in the same universe as The Walten Files. he uploads recordings of music from The Showstoppers as well as the in-universe band "The Ponzis". The character who runs this channel is also active in the official Discord server, where he introduced himself as "Ronnie Bourgeoisie" Ok, NOW, things that have popped up since then: -The merch announcement videos! These aren't super necessary viewing but they're fun and the plushie announcement video is considered canon, as in it was an advertisement that aired in-universe. -The second Showstoppers Album, which contains, in the captions, links to the Findjackwalten.com pages findjackwalten.com/investigation1 findjackwalten.com/rocketbunny (this archive is broken it used to contain a gif of Rocket that i don't have saved sorry) findjackwalten.com/sophiewalten
there wasn't a lot of happenings afterwards until findjackwalten had a huge update in Janurary which changed every page and added some new ones: findjackwalten.com findjackwalten.com/missing findjackwalten.com/rosemarywalten findjackwalten.com/jennyletterson (yes this one is just blank) findjackwalten.com/investigation1 findjackwalten.com/rocketbunny findjackwalten.com/sophiewalten findjackwalten.com/jackwalten
the main findjackwalten page also has some discolored text, which when combined leads to findjackwalten.com/brightonghosts brightonghosts functions like a little website run by the character Anthony, who, in-universe, is a 17-year-old boy who's uploading every episode of The Walten Files as part of just documenting another creepy mystery about the town he lives in. There's a lot of other little subfolder websites that brightonghosts links off to but they're very easy to find just looking through the website, so I won't link them here. In terms of any news about TWF4, just keep an eye on the community tab of the main channel, Martin's sworn off using twitter until TWF4 is finished. the most recent news we've gotten about it is that it'll probably be posted on a Friday at 9pm EST, eventually.
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Roman: okay i'm kinda with them on that... i think you're kind of jumping the gun here.........
Remus: Jumping the gun?! Of course Patton loves Deceit, I just don't have any evidence from Patton's perspective!
Roman: What?! Then that's not a code magenta!!
Remus: YES IT IT!!! I'M TELLING YOU! Just READ what Deceit wrote! Tell me that doesn't SCREAM magenta! Do it, do it, do it, do it-
Roman: Ugh, fine just hand it over! You're so annoying!
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'Patton visited me today. He said something about wanting to discuss things between us as civil sides. Despite being my rival, I found this to be a reasonable arrangement. I had been wishing to speak one on one with him for quite some time. We met up in the middle ground and I provided tea for the two of us. He was polite the throughout our discussion but I could tell there wasn't any real warmth to it. We discussed my future hopes for myself and the other dark sides role in Thomas's decision making and despite his obvious disagreements he never once interrupted me. It was nice to be listened to for once. He promised that we would meet again in a three days time. I look forward to it.'
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'Patton told me something interesting at our meeting today. Apparently, through Remus's little escapade Patton has learned that he had been being too strict on Thomas's moral code. It was a lot of the reason why he had even considered talking to me. To 'try and understand me better'. It really is commendable that despite it all he IS trying to see things from my perspective. It's all i've truly wanted of him really. I went on trying to explain some moral particularism through the use of some philosophers i've been reading up on lately but he didn't seem to really connect. I'll have to try a different approach next time we meet.'
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'I've been learning so many things during Patton and I's talks that it truly boggles my mind. We can go off for what feels like hours in friendly debates and for once I don't care about winning them. I spend my days reading all about moral philosophy and yet this side has taught me so much more than any stupid book ever has. I've realized during today's meeting that I don't even WANT to lie to Patton. He's the first side to show me that there are people worth being honest with, even if it hurts me. He told me that telling the truth is like mental 'growing pains' since we're growing as people every time we tell the truth, even if it hurts a little. It's a bit silly but i've come to find out that nowadays, I rather like silly.'
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'Patton and I's meetings have been quite exhilarating as of late. He's even started reading up on moral philosophy just so we can find more things to dissect. Sometimes he mixes silly things up or mispronounces names but after having spent enough time with him, I believe he's doing this on purpose. I wonder how naive Patton truly is? The question has been plaguing my mind. In fact, everything about him has been intriguing me. Recently we've started to go off topic during our meetings and just... talk about our days. As strange as it may seem I cannot recall the last time anyone has asked about my day. When the subject comes up I usually don't have very much to say. Perhaps I should fix that.'
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'I'm beginning to wonder if our meetings are for business or pleasure. It always starts off with any updates about my efforts sure but without fail we always manage to get off topic. We've begun to discuss personal things, like vulnerabilities or even secrets. He's given me updates about Virgil and i'm very happy to hear he's doing well. I wouldn't trust anyone more than Patton to keep him happy in a way I never could. He even gave me some advice about how to better connect with Remus (which I was grateful for since I often have a difficult time relating to him). Patton called me 'a good dad' and despite my obvious embarrassment at such a term it made me strangely happy.'
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'I don't know if i've mentioned but Patton is extremely funny. I have no clue how i've spent so many years with this side and never realized just how funny he was. There isn't a time where i'm frowning around him and the same goes for Patton. He gives such genuine smiles now. Never the stiff and uncomfortable ones from before but ones that truly reach his eyes. I didn't know it was possible to enjoy another person this much but once again he has opened my eyes. He's even called me a friend multiple times and it makes me giddy like a fool without fail. Patton is actually, truly my friend. (It still feels weird to write it down). The days between out meetings feel longer than ever.
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I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm starting to think I have somehow malfunctioned. I think about Patton all the time and every time I see him I can't help but feel sick to my stomach but in a good way (how is this even possible?). I looked up my symptoms and from what i've seen it cannot possibly be correlated. I mean, I could not possibly have 'a crush' on Patton! That's stupid! We're parts of Thomas, it'd be like dating yourself! Despite all logical sense, my symptoms remain the same. I've began to be extremely awkward around him in a way I never was before. I just hope these feelings go away soon.
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Update: These feelings have not gone away and by the look of things, I don't think they will anytime soon. I'm starting to think the internet was right after something Patton told me today. We were discussing the nature of our existences as sides and how strange it is for us to feel things that go outside of our purpose. I was feeling so frustrated but Patton just smiled and told me that sides don't have to make sense to anyone else. I should enjoy the fact that our existences are so complex. I think i'm going to do just that. So what if I have feelings for Patton? It won't change the quality of our friendship. I've never felt guilty about keeping a secret before but there's a first time for everything I suppose.
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the-trashy-phoenix · 3 years
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Supernatural season 5 review (part 1)
Link to part 2:
At the end of the previous season, as you remember, we were left speechless by all the plot twists happened in the last episode, leaving us on a cliffhanger. Of course we already know the aim of the entire fifth season will be stopping the Apocalypse, but we don’t have a clue, and neither do Sam and Dean at first, about how they’ll manage doing it, and that’s the whole point of this part of the show. As always, stopping the evil forces is not the only obstacle the brothers have to face, as there’s also a relational problem between them. This one is maybe the biggest so far, considering Sam himself caused the whole mess, to use an euphemism, they have to clean and will surely cause unpredictable tragedies all over the world (through the episodes, characters often refer to natural disasters). Sam’s guilt is nearly unbearable, and if we consider how considerate and kind he is we can assume it’s deadly painful for him, but that’s not the worst part. That’s not the reason why Dean can’t forgive him. Deep but not so deep inside he’s mad at his brother and can’t trust him because he refused to follow him and his advice and decided to trust Ruby’s plans. As always they’re both right: no one could say how evil Ruby was as she did a very good and long-term job in hiding it, and Dean himself trusted her, but the point is Sam made a choice and Dean can’t bare the fact that the only person he could really rely on chose someone else, especially because Sam’s choice proved to be extremely wrong. So paradoxically the real problem between them is not the Apocalypse, as Dean knows Sam would have never cause it on purpose, but the lack of trust, which is very difficult to restore (especially because they never maturely talk about it and they just do when they explode with anger and resentment) and which by the way prevents them from focusing properly on saving the world.
Moreover, the villain the world must be saved from is the worst you could imagine, Lucifer. This brings the fight on a superior level, as hell forces, now on earth, fight with heaven creatures, the angels we’ve met in the fourth season. The brothers are in the middle of this epochal war in the deepest sense, as both angels and demons want them on their side. Sam and Dean don’t know what to do, but they’re sure they will never ally with anyone, which is quite complicated because they’re deeply connected to both sides in an interesting way. As a matter of fact, in season four we've found out that not only Sam began the Apocalypse breaking the last seal, but also that Dean unintentionally started the whole thing breaking the very first seal when he accepted to torture souls down in hell. This makes Dean feel so guilty as well, and should make him consider Sam less responsible of the Apocalypse, and at some point he does, making it the real turning point in his view, as he realises they’ve been both cheated by angels and demons who made them their puppets assuming they would obey without arguing. Also, the brothers get to know they’re even more involved in the fight: Sam is Lucifer’s vessel, which means he’s the strongest human being able to carry the demon, but of course he has to say yes and he won’t, and Dean is Micheal’s vessel, which means he’s the only instrument angels have to make the archangel powerful enough to fight Lucifer and hopefully win the war. Sam’s choice is easy, as there’s no doubt Lucifer is evil, but still he has to bear a lot of pressure from Lucifer himself and his faithful demons who keep bothering him, Dean and Bobby the whole time.
Dean’s position is a lot more complex: he knows he’s the only hope to defeat hell creatures, but he’s also learned to be suspicious towards angels and would rather die than do what Zacharia wants, as he is not quite the type of person who easily forgives someone who’s been so mean to him. Somehow their only choice is quite clear, breaking free from both angels and demons and begin their own fight against all of them to stop the Apocalypse and save as many people as possible, as they seem to be the only ones caring for them. I think they know it from the beginning, but it’s a great step to take and before jumping into it they have to go through a process of inner growth, understanding how wrong it would be to take a side and how they just have each other to count on, even after all the lies and misunderstandings they’ve been through. After some time they’re ready to start their own fight, choosing carefully their soldiers in the people they trust the most and making an exception just for Castiel. He himself also went through a deep process of growth during which he becomes more and more human, both physically and spiritually, and brave enough to follow what he thinks is the right path despite the pressure from the angels, who are his family, and even if Sam and Dean’s idea of fighting against all supernatural creatures is desperate.
Of course Sam and Dean’s decision is sometimes not so firm: I’ll mention Dean’s temporary choice to say yes to Micheal, because it gives a great view of Dean’s inner self. He knows saying yes to Micheal means dying, so before leaving his body he goes to say goodbye to Lisa, his ex-girlfriend he met again some seasons ago, and tells her that she’s the only one he would imagine to be with in an hypothetical happy life. This scene really broke my heart because it’s one of the rare occasions in which Dean admits he dreams of a normal life, which could seem boring if he hadn’t experienced all the pain his life as a hunter brought him, free from the fear he constantly feels (and tries to hide in every way) and from all the burdens he has to carry every day. Dean seems even somehow happy to die, and it’s clear he hates the hunter life more than Sam, even if it’s the most important part of him. I appreciate so much Dean’s constant growth and development through the episodes and the increasing insight of his personality (which is, together with Sam’s, the most complex in the show) moving from the prototype of the narcissist and sexist guy to a deep and grown man.
In this season we also meet several times the other hunters who always keep in touch with and help Sam and Dean. Of course Bobby is still part of their team, and his storyline is developed as he has an accident that makes him lose the use of his legs. Castiel can’t help him because he’s lost his powers and Bobby cedes to deep depression. He feels more useless than ever and would do anything to have his legs again, considering how this is a huge handicap in his fully active hunter life, so he solves his problem the only way every character seems to know, making a deal with a demon. This one is particularly important as he’s a complex character whose intentions are not completely clear from the beginning, Crowley. He of course is a demon, and a very powerful one, but happens to help the Winchesters apparently without any reason giving them the Colt, the only weapon that could kill Lucifer (but it can’t, and the brothers will find out too late). I think this character will be a great source of satisfaction going on with the show.
Talking about hunters, I can’t but mention one of the saddest moments of the season. During the first attempt to kill Lucifer with the Colt, also Ellen and Jo get to help the “team free will”, as they’ve become full-time hunters after the destruction of their Roadhouse and are committed to the fight. Things don’t go as planned and the two women get killed by hellhounds aroused by Meg. Their death arises Sam and Dean’s guilt for all the good people dying to help them (and eventually they didn’t even manage to defeat Lucifer this time), because they refused to serve as vessels and chose to fight their own way. They still think that’s a good choice, but they have to constantly live with the burden of all the deaths they cause.
One of them keeps on tormenting Sam from the first season. He could never forget his guilt for Jessica’s death, but it becomes even more painful when he finds out she was meant to meet and love him and to be killed by demons from the start. Even his college best friend, who had presented Jess to him, was a demon, so that Sam was never destined to a normal life, even though he had tried so hard to build one, and everything that ever happened to him was meant to lead him to his predestined future, to become a hunter just as the father he had always wanted to break free from. This shocking revelation makes Sam cut once for all the hopes he had to stop being a hunter and to have a family one day: he now knows for sure he’s cursed (like his brother, who on the other hand can’t really let go that idea of a family) and understands he has to face his destiny without running away ever again.
I particularly liked the character of Chuck, the prophet, who can see in advance what will happen to Sam and Dean and help them, and Becky, the most dedicated fan of Supernatural, the series of books Chuck has written about the Winchesters. They also come together with the metanarrative of Supernatural itself, as Chuck wrote the books before knowing the whole story was real, and even after knowing it they keep on organizing events, such as the convention involving Sam and Dean themselves in episode 9, to bring together fans. At first it’s a bit of a shock, both for the protagonists and for us, but you get easily used to this mechanism of the show reflecting upon itself and it’s quite fun. I’m not a TV series expert, but I found this feature so original and kind of self-ironic I think that’s one of the elements which makes Supernatural unique.
Supernatural also touches kind of theological and philosophical themes through the narration about heaven and angels, focusing on their ambiguous morality, but in the fifth season also God has a space. At first he’s mentioned to justify Castiel’s resurrection (he had died at end of the fourth season) and at some point he seems to be the only one who is powerful enough to stop the Apocalypse and the war, but no one has seen him in years. The archangel Raphael says he’s dead and, when Sam and Dean go to heaven (which by the way wasn’t how I expected, as it’s just a place where you relive your happiest memories), Joshua tells them he’s alive but he doesn’t care anymore about his duties. That was quite predictable, but still it makes the brothers even more angry and hopeless, knowing that the angels are following orders from this God and that he has created humanity and forgot about it straightaway. This perspective about God is clearly made to make people think, and reflects how most of them feel about religion and Evil, which cannot be satisfactorily explained by the traditional idea of theology and free will (which by the way is the evocative name the brothers and Castiel give to their team). Sam and Dean need to find a way to reach their purpose to save the world and by doing it they can’t count on God or a good superior creature, but as always they can only count on themselves and do better than God himself did (which shouldn’t be too difficult).
Just when everything seems to be lost, an unexpected character, the Trickster, reveals himself. After giving us the last of his extremely funny and weird episodes, the brothers find out he’s the missing archangel, Gabriel: he’s an outsider in his family who broke free not to fight against his brothers, like Lucifer did, but to live a peaceful life far from all angels and demons’ issues. He’s neither good nor evil, because he doesn’t want to take sides, but it’s so clear he has a preference for Sam and Dean and kind of mirrors himself in their desire to follow their own path outside what heaven and hell have decided for them that he helps them explaining how they can defeat Lucifer. They have to collect the rings of the Four Knights, War, Famine, Death and Pestilence, to re-open Lucifer’s cage, but to do so Sam has to say yes to him and hopefully succeed in leaving it before falling down to hell. Of course Dean is not sure about the plan and doesn’t want his brother to do that, but they both know it’s the only way to stop the Apocalypse; also Sam is well aware of all the risks, but somehow feels it’s his chance to redeem and clear up the mistake he made. In one of the last scenes of the brothers together, Sam makes Dean promise the sweetest thing: he will not try to bring him back if he fails, and he will live a normal life with Lisa and Ben. The final fight ends really badly, as both Lucifer in Sam’s body and Micheal in Adam’s body (he’s the closest relative to Dean and the brothers, even if they tried, couldn’t protect him from angels, as another proof the Winchesters are cursed in their blood) fall and go back to Lucifer’s cage. I thought Dean would have never respected his promise, but the season unexpectedly ends with a peaceful scene of an ordinary dinner table where Dean, Lisa and Ben are happily eating as a proper family. But just when I thought the shock couldn’t be worse, the camera shows us we’ve seen this scene from a particular point of view, Sam’s. How can he possibly be back? What will he do now? We will surely find an answer in the next season…
- Irene 💕
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kuramirocket · 4 years
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In some ways, what happened to Mexican Americans in the Southwest happened time and again throughout American history. Promises were made to the community, but many were never kept.
“I just don't think people get the passion that's attached to this,” said Rita Padilla-Gutierrez, whose community has lost tens of thousands of acres of ancestral land over generations. “It's the history, for God's sake. Plain and simple. Your language, your customs, your food, your traditions. But for us, it's being a land-based people.”
What we now consider the Southwest wasn’t part of the United States at all 172 years ago -- it was the northernmost part of Mexico. In 1845, the U.S. annexed Texas, which Mexico considered part of its territory. This spurred a long and bloody war with Mexico and, ultimately, Mexico ceded half its country to the U.S.
The agreement between the two countries was immortalized in the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which gave around 100,000 Mexican nationals living in those territories citizenship if they decided to stay. More importantly, the agreement protected the rights of any Mexican whose land was now a part of the U.S.
“When Mexico negotiates the treaty in good faith, assuming that all of its citizens' rights will be respected, what it doesn't understand is that for the United States, only whites have the rights to full citizenship,” said María Josefina Saldaña-Portillo, author of “Indian Given: Racial Geographies Across Mexico and the United States.” “[Shortly after the treaty,] territorial governments systematically go about disenfranchising all Mexican citizens who they deem to not be white.”
Indeed, when the treaty was sent to Congress, the Senate removed the article that laid out the process by which the land would be protected.
In 1848, there were 154 communities in New Mexico to whom the U.S. government guaranteed land. But most of those agreements, or land grants, were never honored. Today, only 35 communities remain.
While the country prospered, the treaty would forever change the fate of generations of Mexican Americans to come.
Heirs to land that’s been owed for generations
“There's a huge disparity here in terms of poverty and [in] terms of education,” Arturo Archuleta, a land grant heir in New Mexico, told “Nightline.” “These communities have been left behind.”
Heirs like Archuleta are working to get reparations for the land that was taken from their communities, which existed long before the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo was even created, according to Jacobo Baca, a historian with the University of New Mexico’s Land Grant Studies Program.
“It's beyond [a] sense of place,” Baca said. “Our identity is tied to place, but we don't see that place having an identity without us, either. So it defines us just as much as we define it.”
At the University of New Mexico, a collection of documents shows how a variety of land grants were vastly diminished over the years. One of the documents showed how an agreement for over 40,000 acres was reduced to less than 1,400 acres.
“I think for land grant heirs, there's this recognition that this treaty was a promise that was made that wasn't kept, and that the federal government owes the recognition of these communities,” Baca said.
Archuleta is an heir to the Manzano and the Tierra Amarilla land grants.
“We come from Spanish communities that came over, [and from] Native American communities as well,” Archuleta said. “So we really are sort of mestizo. We're mixed… We're a land-based people. Half of our soul was here before Columbus ever hit the sand.”
Archuleta says that these communities should be able to thrive where they are.
“It's not just surviving, but thriving. Our cultural connections are still in place,” he said. “The land grant and the treaty issues is probably what you consider the first Latino issue in this country, and it's still unresolved.”
Padilla-Gutierrez’s family in New Mexico has also seen its land vanish over time. For centuries, she said the family has been living in the area near Tomé Hill in Valencia County. Now a hiking trail and site for religious pilgrims, its hillsides are filled with petroglyphs and its summit contains several large crosses.
“We have very deep, deep native roots here,” Andrea Padilla, Padilla-Gutierrez’s sister, told “Nightline.”
Padilla-Gutierrez said their land used to encompass 123,000 acres but that it has since been reduced to only 400 acres.
“America owes us the opportunity to take care of our own communities,” Padilla-Gutierrez said.
“I think regaining some of our land back would be justice,” her sister added.
The family still has the patent it was given to honor the land grant.
“It's signed by Ulysses Grant, who was president at the time -- seal and everything -- granting us that our land grant will continue to be ours again,” Padilla said. “But then later, they stole our mountains.”
The Tomé land grant lost 50,000 acres to the federal government in 1906. Like many others who held land grants, the family later had to sell their land.
“It hurt my father deeply, because he fought to the very end, telling people, ‘You can't do this. … Once you sell your land, that's it, you're nothing. You lose your culture. You lose everything,’” Padilla said.
Her sister says their family’s land should’ve never been sold. The community lost more than acreage, she said. They “lost their way of life.”
The betrayal of these land grants sowed racism that still exists today
Mexican American culture has been maligned for generations, and the racism born out of that continues to be espoused at the highest levels of government today.
The president himself famously kicked off his bid for office by saying Mexican immigrants are “bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.” And as recently as June, The White House suggested that travel from Mexico was contributing to COVID-19 infections rather than states’ efforts to reopen their economies.
“It does hit me in the heart,” Padilla said. “We always worked hard... And we did the right thing. So when they talk about lazy Mexicans or, ‘These Mexicans are all drug dealers and murderers,’ I'm, like, ‘Where? I haven't seen that. I'm not [one].’ You know?”
Saldaña-Portillo says this bigotry results from Mexican natives’ land being given to white settlers.
“[It helped create] the representation of Mexicans as these barbarous Indians,” she said. “That's annunciated every day when we hear Mexicans described as rapists, murderers and thieves.”
Archuleta said he's not surprised that there's racism in the U.S. because in communities like his, racism had "never gone away."
“We've always felt it,” he said. “We've always known it. We've seen it. We've been on the receiving end of it, either through the institutions, through the bureaucracies or at the individual level.”
Juan Sanchez, a sixth-generation native of the Chililí Land Grant in New Mexico, remembers activist Reies Lopez Tijerina of the 1960s.
“We are called the forgotten people,” Sanchez said. “He came to New Mexico preaching the treaty and preaching and telling the people that they were gonna lose their land.” Tijerina was a major figure in the Chicano Movement of the 1960s and 1970s, which sought to reclaim Mexican Americans’ indigenous heritage and original territories.
“They were articulating it concretely, saying, ‘We have these land grants and we want these land grants honored as per the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo,’” Saldaña-Portillo said.
Tijerina’s story culminates in June 1967, when he led an armed raid on a courthouse in Tierra Amarilla, New Mexico, to free imprisoned activists and place a citizen’s arrest on the district attorney who ordered a police crackdown on them.
“They were gonna go make a citizen’s arrest and so it just got outta hand from there. The frustration of not being heard just exploded,” Sanchez said. “They [had] put all the heirs of different land grants that were the followers of Tijerina in a corral like sheep.”
In the ensuing shootout, two police officers were wounded and two hostages were taken as the activists fled Tierra Amarilla. After a week-long manhunt, Tijerina surrendered. He was found guilty of assault on a federal officer and sentenced to two years in prison.
“He opened our eyes. He taught us,” Sanchez said. “He always said, ‘Change the law,’ and we've always tried that.”
For fellow land grant heir and activist Steve Polanco, this fight is personal. His family has lived on Tierra Amarilla since the late 1800s, and now in his 60s, he is the president of the Tierra Amarilla Land Grant.
“We took a stand that … the only way we were gonna be taken from here … was dead,” Polaco said.
Polaco said the original stewards of the land shared 550,000 acres and that they would help each other.
“These mountains were full of herds of sheep, herds of pigs that were being taken care of,” Polaco said. “They’d head off for the day and they’d take care of their flocks, pigs, herds of horses all over these mountains.”
His land has been under siege for decades, he said, with outside investors hoping to develop the lands into everything from a ski resort to a landing strip, the latter of which is visible from his property.
“The building of the airstrip makes me feel really bad because, number one, they destroyed the property. It looks very ugly. It's gonna cause erosion. It’s so dry that the dust kicks up, and there's elderlies that live in the area; that dust affects them,” said Polaco.
“It's very emotional, especially when you see these outsiders coming in and doing destruction and taking advantage of us,” he said.
Today, he continues to harvest hay and attempts to keep the land as undisturbed as possible. He says he wants the Treaty of Hidalgo to be honored and the lands respected, particularly in the face of a changing climate. To that end, he said it’s important to elect public officials who “know the culture and our struggle” so that their Constitutional right to the land can be upheld.
What comes next?
Archuleta says it took generations for these communities to fall into poverty and other socioeconomic issues, and that it’ll take a long time to solve their problems as well.
“We're in a marathon. We're not in a race,” he said.
Archuleta’s grandfather is buried in Manzano, New Mexico. His dad grew up there, too.
“He left in the ‘70s. He didn't have opportunities. That's the stuff that's hard to swallow when you're like, ‘Man, this is something that was in our family and it belonged to us,’” he said. "And because of circumstances beyond our control, the loss of the commons, the poverty that that created… This drives the work that I do. Working with land grant communities and trying to get justice for our communities.”
In June, Archuleta spoke before Congress as it considered a bill to give land grant heirs access to their former lands.
“What the current legislation does is it would create a federal definition of traditional uses on federal lands for land grant communities,” he said. “Access to fuelwood, for example, to heat your home. Access to pasture to graze livestock. And it would also require that the federal agencies work with land grant communities and consult with them.”
For Sanchez, “the dream of reparation would be that we'd get our land back. But we know that's impossible; times have changed.”
“Short of that, I also think our communities are due some type of reparations in terms of monetary compensation for all the hardships that they've endured,” Archuleta said. “What that figure looks like to us, if we did a calculation, probably about $2.7 billion. Not to pay out individuals but to pay our communities for community development and to buy back land.”
Meanwhile, Padilla-Gutierrez hopes to transform a historic jail in her village into a museum.
“The idea is to keep the legacy alive. Do not destroy and forget the history,” she said. “We wish that our parents could be here to see this that we've done. We're slowly inching back to being a legitimate and prideful land grant.”
Her sister emphasized that the family doesn’t “want handouts.”
“We wanna provide for ourselves. So justice would be giving us that opportunity to do that,” Padilla said. “We've always been here and we're not going anywhere… This is where we come from. This is our land and we're gonna protect it and we're gonna continue to be here as long as we possibly can.”
“The hard work of my dad and my grandfather and my great grandfather -- their blood, sweat, and tears... I have to make sure that none of that was [in] vain,” Archuleta added. . “That their hopes and dreams survive on, and [that] they survive on in my kids and their kids.”
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gwenbrightly · 5 years
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Never A Perfect Moment pt1
I just realized I never posted anything for my current wip, so here yall go. Pt one of a Kailor fic taking place directly after Hunted.
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They had won. Yes, the journey home had been frustrating and time consuming, and Kai had wanted to throttle Jay for most of it (his extremely loose grip on sanity had been more than a little concerning). And yes, it had taken a long and strenuous battle that could easily have ended very differently. But it was best not to dwell on those things, he supposed. Years of similarly traumatizing events had taught him that. Good old Ninjago City was finally safe again… and it was wonderful to be home. Even if home was currently in ruins. The events of the past few weeks had left an obvious mark on the city. Rubble lined the streets. The remains of the colossus that had once ruled the city with its destructive fist could be seen not too far away as well. But... They were together again, and that was more than enough for him just now. Kai gave his adoptive family a relieved smile.
"Just another day in Ninjago… I wonder what tomorrow will hold…" He declared, following the others off of the steps they had been standing on. Lloyd's... Father... or at least, some incredibly twisted version of him, had been arrested, pushed into a police vehicle, shouting something unintelligible as he went. The rest of the SOG had also been rounded up; there was no more fighting to be had. Safety might be a relative term for now, but it appeared as though they'd achieved it in the end. Which was good, because none of them seemed to be in any condition to keep fighting. Noticing the bizarre angle at which his sister's arm hung – something he should've caught sooner… he was her brother after all (oh, he felt guilty now for not paying better attention, no matter how tense things had been)- Kai added,
"After we all make a run to the hospital. Or… what's left of it anyway… Your arm looks pretty messed up, sis." Nya sighed, wincing slightly. Her relief at having her family back had distracted her from the pain until now. If the swelling she could feel was anything to go off of, her shoulder had definitely been dislocated during her showdown with Ultra Violet earlier that day. She could barely move it at all. That… was going to be fun to fix.
"You're right… But I'm not the only one... Lloyd's pretty banged up, and... Skylor wasn't looking too great either. You saw how all that dark energy was affecting her…"
"Oh, gosh, Skylor… We left her all alone in that armored car of yours, which was completely epic, by the way… I hate to split up again so soon, but…" Kai began, worriedly. Nya shot him a knowing look.
"Someone needs to check on her. Go on, grab her while we figure out transportation to the hospital. This arm is killing me."
"A-are you sure?" She lightly punched his shoulder with her good hand.
"Course I am."
"Yeah. We'll be fine here for a few minutes." Cole assured him with a shooing gesture. Lloyd gave him a weak smile. Kai's concern for the redhead won out; he wandered the short distance to where they'd parked the vehicle. Arriving just outside the door, he climbed inside. His blood ran cold at the sight that greeted him. Instead of having recovered now that Garmadon's powers could no longer affect her, Skylor seemed worse off than before. Her skin had turned a dreadfully pale shade of greyish white. The master of amber's eyes, which were normally so gorgeous and full of life, had turned dull and glassy. And the smell... She had clearly vomited at some point. Skylor groaned miserably as he approached her. How had things gone downhill so quickly? They never should have left her alone... He knelt next to her, careful to avoid the puddle of puke on the floor nearby.
"Kai? Izzat you…?"
"Yeah… you… This… You're burning up…" Kai stated, feeling the unnatural waves of heat that were radiating off of off of her without even touching her skin. The master of amber didn't seem to hear him. Every breath she took came in short, shaky gasps.
"M'not feeling…. Fink imma…" She slumped forward, slipping into unconsciousness. Kai rushed to catch her before her head could slam into the floor.
"Oh nonono Sky..." Something was seriously wrong with her - She needed help, and soon. If he lost her... No. If he started thinking like that, there was no way he'd be able to keep it together long enough to get her to the hospital... Taking a deep breath, he gently scooped her up, doing his best to ignore how limp she felt in his arms. She'd be fine if he could just get her some proper medical attention... Right? The master of fire clambered out of the vehicle as quickly as he could, not wanting to waste any time. Getting back to the others seemed to take an eternity. Skylor's dead weight grew increasingly unbearable the further he trudged. He could sense the steady rising of her fever as well. Not a good sign at all. It hadn't felt so far before… why was this taking so long now?
"Kai! What on earth?!" Lloyd exclaimed just as he felt as though his arms were about to give out on him. The master of fire came to a halt, panicking inwardly.
"There's something wrong with Skylor!" Zane observed, the first to rush over and offer his brother in arms assistance.
"S-she passed out pretty much as soon as I got there… and her temp's gotta be at least 105... I-I think Garmadon's powers must have… poisoned her or something…" Kai gasped out, breathless. It didn't take much for the others to see that he was right. Her appearance was dreadful. The way her head lulled to one side and beads of sweat trickled down her face, not to mention her pasty complexion, were all signs that she was suffering from something major.
"That seems likely. We don't have any idea how wielding Oni powers would affect an elemental master. Especially one with Skylor's abilities." The nindroid agreed with concern as he examined the redhead more closely.
"Then we need to get her onto one of these dregons and head to the hospital asap." Lloyd stated, taking the lead, for which Kai was grateful. The others immediately jumped into action, helping to hoist Skylor up onto the fire dragon that Kai had befriended. Although she could not actively help due to her injury, Nya yelled kind words of encouragement to them as they worked, striving to relieve the tension that was written all over Kai's posture. It took no more than a few minutes to ensure that Skylor would not fall midflight. Then, Nya clambered onto Jay's dragon, and Pixal onto Zane's. The dragons took off gracefully, racing towards their destination at a speed that would have been impossible for a group of mere humans to accomplish. Under different circumstances, riding a dragon for the first time in years would have been exhilarating for Nya, but right now, all she could think about was the look on her brother's face when he'd returned with Skylor's limp form. She knew how much he cared for her, even if he'd never admitted it out loud. They'd gone through so much together and it pained her to see him so upset. This wasn't fair; why couldn't they just be happy and safe for once? Below, the city flew by, smoke rising from the rubble of what had once been buildings.
"You okay back there?" The master of water heard her boyfriend call back to her, "The flight isn't jostling your arm too much, is it?"
"It's not… too bad… I've been through worse, trust me. We've just had so much happen today, and… it's a lot to take in..." Nya replied truthfully. She could handle the pain a bit longer; there was simply a lot on her mind. A park flew by - they were reaching the part of the city that had remained relatively untouched by Garmadon's forces. That was a promising sign for the potential state of their destination.
"I feel you there. But it feels awesome to be home again. I really missed you, you know?"
"Mm… I missed you too, Jay. Especially when I thought you were dead, a-and I-" She began, voice thick with emotion, Jay stiffened.
"You... You thought we were dead?!" He breathed. Though he didn't turn around, she could hear the guilt in his voice.
"Ye-s… It's… There's a lot to tell you after we've… made sure everyone's okay… I…"
"We have a lot to tell you, too." Admitted the master of lightning.
"Like how on earth you guys managed to keep Wu alive til adulthood?" Nya prompted curiously. He laughed softly.
"Oh, sweetie, you should've seen his sassy kid self running around pretending to be Cole's son…"
"Wait-What?" She cried, attempting to make sense of this latest piece of information.
"Tell you about it later, I promise. The hospital's just up ahead, and you need treatment." Jay reminded her as the dragon began to fly lower.
"Mmm... Wish I could just stay with you…" Nya mumbled tiredly, leaning against him.
"I know… and as much as I'd love that, you're clearly in pain, and Kai's gonna need you to be doing okay. He's pretty shaken up over both you and Skylor." He told her. They were close to landing now. The hospital was less than a block away.
"He really cares about her. Always has… I-I just hope…"
"Hey, she's a tough girl - just like you. I'm sure she'll pull through. We gotta stay positive."
"Stay… Positive… Yeah, good plan… Ow… " Nya hissed, grimacing slightly as she felt the jolt of the dragon they had been riding make contact with the ground.
"Oh. Sorry!" Jay told her apologetically, "You want some help getting down?" She considered his offer for a moment before gratefully accepting. The master of water had missed his reassuring presence to an almost painful extent the past few weeks.
"Please? That'd be great…" She said appreciatively, glancing over at Kai, who was already scrambling frantically from his perch. Lloyd and Cole quickly joined him, helping to lower the still unconscious Skylor to the ground. Using her good hand, Nya grabbed ahold of Jay and allowed him to guide her down off of the lightning dragon. Chaos exploded as Pixal and Zane pulled open the doors to the emergency room. The rest of the group burst inside, startling the patients and hospital employees milling about inside. Several nurses rushed forwards immediately to strap Skylor onto a mobile stretcher they happened to have on hand within seconds (clearly the hospital was making a point of being extra prepared as a result of the battle that had been ranging up until recently). Nya watched her brother begin to shake as they rolled her away. They hadn't permitted him to follow. He pleaded with them fiercely, desperate to stay by her side, but it was no use. His presence wouldn't do anything to help, ultimately, they said, leave it to the professionals. And since they weren't legally obligated to allow him to be present during treatment, as neither he, nor the others, were technically related to her, there was little that could be done except waiting and hoping for the best. She watched as Lloyd gave him a fierce hug and guided him to the nearest couch, offering kind words of comfort, and speaking of how relieved he was to have his big brother back in one piece. Hearing yet another nurse gently ask her to follow her to another room for treatment, Nya glanced regretfully at the scene playing out before her. She didn't want to leave Kai (or Jay, for that matter), but she had no choice. The pain in her arm was becoming unbearable and the water ninja knew the only way to remedy this was to allow herself to entrust her brother to the rest of their family and hope they'd be able to keep him from breaking until she could return.
"I'll be back soon." She promised, doing her best to give him a reassuring look. It was less comforting than it should have been.
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One hour and a brand-new sling later, Nya found herself back in the waiting room. Before the doctor had released her, she'd chocked down several pills, which had helped reduce the pain she was in dramatically. Maybe now she'd be able to focus more on catching up with her family… and… Keeping Kai sane…
"Hey guys. I'm back…" She said softly, seating herself next to her brother. His face was buried in his hands; he didn't look up.
"How's your arm?" Lloyd asked. The doctors must have gotten to him as well. He was sporting several bandages that definitely hadn't been there before.
"Better than before. Doctor says I won't be able to use it for a few weeks, but… could be worse." She announced. The others exchanged looks.
"That's…" Started Cole.
"That's good… I mean… it's not amazing, obviously, but. Still. Good." Jay finished, rambling.
"We could certainly use some positive news…" Agreed Zane somberly. Glancing from her unresponsive brother, to her boyfriend, to the rest of her family, the master of water faltered.
"Something happened while they were fixing my arm… Didn't it?"
Kai spoke for the first time, lifting his face just enough that she could see how puffy and red his eyes were.
"They had to put Skylor on oxygen…. She had a-a seizure a-and stopped breathing…. And t-hey…" He whispered, voice cracking.
"Oh, Kai…" Nya murmured, throwing her arm around his shoulders. A wet sob escaped from the master of fire as he leaned into the hug.
"Nya? W-what if she never wakes up? S-she could die…. I-I can't…What I-if I never… get to… t-tell her that I-I…"
"You love her?" She stated. He sobbed again, louder this time.
"H-how-"
"Because we know you, Kai." Zane answered gently.
"It's so obvious to anyone who knows you how strongly you feel. She's gotta know deep down." Jay commented.
"A-and FSM! I-I'm so sorry! Bec-cause you're my sister, and… and I-I've barely said one word to you since I got b-back… And L-Loyd, too… I-I'm a horrible big brother for ignoring y-you…" Kai cried, shaking. Nya and Lloyd both shook their heads vehemently.
"No, Kai. You're not a horrible brother. You could never be horrible." The blonde insisted immediately.
"B-but I…" Kai trailed off miserably.
"It's okay, I promise. We understand. We do. But sitting here worrying isn't gonna fix things... You know that... Now c'mon. Let's go find some dinner. The food in the cafeteria is pretty decent. If I remember correctly from the last time we were stuck here, they even have a little fast food restaurant inside. You look like you haven't eaten in days..." Offered Nya after a few minutes, giving him one of her signature looks. He needed a distraction. Desperately.
"But-" He started to protest.
"She's right. You can't sit around waiting for hours on end with nothing to do… you'll drive yourself crazy." Cole reminded him, pulling the master of fire to his feet.
"Yeah, and then maybe after we eat, we can go look at those cool murals they have in the children's wing! You loved them last time we were here..." Jay agreed, trying to sound upbeat. Kai allowed them to drag him along back out the doors to the emergency room and into an elevator. He watched the glowing sign above the door signal the changes as they switched floors, wishing he were somewhere else entirely. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate his family's efforts – he loved them dearly and they were only trying to help. He just... Dreaded what might happen the next time a doctor gave them an update. The group exited the elevator a few minutes later and headed down a maze of hallways before entering the surprisingly large and airy dining hall. The scent of sanitizer that had permeated the air and the blindingly white walls hadn't done much for his appetite. He should have just stayed behind while the others got something to eat... There was little chance that food would improve his current outlook. Nevertheless, his sister shoved him towards the large menu sign of the rather generic restaurant and instructed him to pick something. Kai stared blankly at it, nothing sounding the least bit palatable. When he didn't say anything after a few minutes, Nya sighed softly and gave his hand a squeeze.
"You know what? I'll take care of this. Think you can handle finding us a place to sit?" He nodded numbly and trudged towards the assorted tables and booths that covered the other side of the room. The master of fire was unfortunately familiar with the layout, thanks to several previous visits. Though, he couldn't remember ever feeling quite this drained or on edge.. The events of the past few days weighed heavily on him, and he was having trouble processing it all. Lloyd's leg had been an easy fix after the first battle with his father. Even the intense case of appendicitis that Nya had been subjected to a few years back had been reasonably straightforward. This? This was far less predictable. There was no way of knowing how things would work out in the end. And that thought scared him. Selecting an isolated booth towards the back of the room, Kai sat in silence, waiting for the others to join him. It was the first moment he'd had alone in a long time. He wasn't sure that was a good thing. Part of him wished he'd thought to have Jay charge his phone earlier (it had remained in his pocket, slightly battered, but still functional, since they'd first ended up in the First Ream – cell service was completely non-existent there), since having that luxury would serve as a distraction from his growing concern for Skylor. Alas, he had not. And if he really thought about it, he dreaded having to weed through the countless social media notifications he undoubtedly had (being so well known definitely had its downsides) anyway. That was going to be a serious chore. One he wasn't sure he was mentally prepared for. And then… His parents…. Kai really should call them. They'd worked so hard to make up for their absence in the past year (though it felt like a lifetime ago, honestly). And he was eternally grateful that they had had the chance to reconnect after so long. Not everyone was blessed with an opportunity like that, and Kai hated that Lloyd had lost another family member just as he and his sister finally found theirs. It wasn't fair. But then again, what did any of them know about fairness? Half the time, life seemed to be a cruel trick of fate. Like… Having his baby brother's father resurrected in an almost demonic form. He… really needed to check up on the kid. Skylor wasn't the only one who had been damaged, here, and it was his responsibility as the big brother in this family to make sure Lloyd was on the road to emotional recovery. Even if both he and Nya had assured him that they understood if he was a bit distracted by the master of amber's hospitalization.
"Kai?" Someone called, snapping him from his reverie. Nya scooted across the booth's cushioned bench, coming to a stop next to him.
"Kai – you wanna burger?" Jay and Cole set down several trays stacked high with food. Clearly no one had been able to resist the call of cheap fast food.
"We got curly fries, too!" The master of lightning supplied enthusiastically as the rest of group piled haphazardly into the booth. Kai took a deep breath. The smell made his stomach growl, reminding the him just how long it had been since he'd eaten something other than the weird plants that grew in the First Realm.
"Yeah? That sounds… I...I'm. Starving... Thanks." He relaxed slightly as food was distributed among them (with Cole threatening to dump ketchup in Jay's hair for hogging the fries), the mood significantly lighter than it had been in the waiting room. If he tried hard enough, he could almost forget why they were there. But the sling Nya wore was enough of a reminder that this ultimately proved to be unsuccessful.
"Is now a good time to swap stories? Cause I have questions." Lloyd stated tentatively, after taking a few bites of his burger, staring at Kai as if to make sure he wasn't going to go catatonic on them.
"Yes. We do have an awful lot to tell you, and I'm sure you've got plenty to share as well." Zane agreed.
"Oh, do we!" The master of water exclaimed, slamming down her cup of root beer. Pixal smiled ruefully from across the table.
"That's… Not an understatement."
"A-nd I was thinking. Maybe after that, we could call our parents?" Kai suggested, before chaos could break out. His sister leaned against him contentedly.
"That sounds like an excellent idea, Kai."
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