i never know what films are considered obscure because my parents were freaks that watched all the movies that are hyped on tumblr nowadays but like 20 years ago..........

Survey #442

“the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?”

Would you ever sell your soul? No. Do you believe that something is going to happen in 2012? Welp, clearly not. I never believed it. Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? No, but I'd love to! When was the last time you slept in someone else’s bed? Uhhh not since I visited Sara, I think. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud, for sure. Louder than I should listen to. Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? No. What’s the last song you heard? "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used. Has anyone told you they missed you lately? No. What are you most likely to do when you’re exhausted; take a nap, drink some coffee, or go for a run to get yourself pumped up again? Naps definitely win. What are you most likely to pick if you got to choose your topic on a research paper; drug abuse, mental illness, or the death penalty? Mental illness, for sure. What is your favorite month of the year and why? October, bc aesthetic. What’s your least favorite animal? Probably wasps. They're mean fuckers that kill bees. What was your class song when you graduated? Some super shitty country song. Have you ever had to spend the night outside (not camping)? No. What`s the scariest living animal that you`ve petted? A tarantula, I'd say. She was a sweet rose hair that I literally did pet, which you absolutely should not do to tarantulas, but I knew nothing about them at the time. The urticating hairs on their abdomens cause serious itching, and I tell ya, that sure happened. So did you play old school Nintendo or Atari or Sega? If so which one? We had an old Atari for a long time. When/where did you meet your first love? In the hallway, during my sophomore year of high school. Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? Hm, what qualifies as "regularly," really? I don't like my sister's husband, who I see semi-regularly, but I don't really talk to him. Does your family eat any unique foods for Thanksgiving that aren’t the norm? If so, what are they? Nah, not that I can think of. If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? What is your favorite flavor? Milk; I don't like it with water. I only eat the apples and cinnamon kind. Was the last video you watched on YouTube a music video? If not, what was it of? It's a let's play. Have you ever been brave enough to cut your hair in a very different way? If you have, did you regret your decision after? Yes, and I still love it. What was the last book you had to read for school? Did you enjoy it, or were you just trying to get through? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I loved it. Has anyone you know personally ever won the lottery? If so, how much did they win? Would/have you ever play(ed) the lottery? No to both questions. I have a very addictive personality, so I don't really mess with dangerous things that might tempt that behavior. What band/celebrity/etc. do you know the most information about? Who would you like to learn more about? Markiplier, ha ha. As for who I'd like to know more about... hm. Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Girt has. Who has made the biggest difference in your life? Jason. You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Also Jason. -_- What is the name on your birth certificate (feel free to withhold your last name for privacy reasons)? Brittany Marie is all you need to know. Even if shopping isn’t your favorite... every girl has a favorite store. What’s yours? My favorite physical store is Hot Topic, but my favorite store overall is Rebel's Market, which I'm pretty sure is just an online source. Which type of undies do you wear most: Thongs, bikini/briefs, bootyshorts, or granny panties? Don't you dare laugh, I prefer "granny panties" lmfao. They're what I'm comfortable in, okay. How many nail polishes do you have, if you were to take a guess? *I* have none. Idk about Mom, but I know not a lot. Are you on birth control? Do you use condoms? I use birth control to regulate my period and ease cramps. If I was sexually active though, both would be musts for me. When did you start your period? How did you react? Who did you tell first? When I got home from school sometime in middle school. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I was EXTREMELY upset. Like, I cried, because I didn't feel like a kid anymore. My mom was the first to know. Have you ever had sex while on your period? If so, would you ever do it again? NO NO NO NO THAT SOUNDS SO GROSS LKASDFJ;AJW;LKERJA;WEJLRKQWLKE;JR. Which way do you swing (boys, girls, or both)? I'm bi. Or pan. I really don't know. Tell me ALL about your longest/most serious relationship. Are you still in that relationship? How about I don't, because doing that I'm sure will send me in a PTSD spiral. No, we're no longer together. Who is your ALL TIME best friend (don’t count your boyfriend, either, silly!)? Sara. I don't think I've been as close with any other best friend. Which one of your friends has the best singing voice? SARAAAAAAAAAAA. What shade are you in foundation or concealer? I don't have a clue. I don't wear either. Have you ever showered with someone? Boy or girl? Were you completely naked? "Were you completely naked." No, I shower with underwear on. I've showered with my little sister as well as my best friend as a kid. I've never shared a shower as an adult and don't want to. Do you think you’re good enough for the person you like? No. Are you a cuddler or no? If I'm really into you, YUP. And if it's not hot. Wouldn’t it be kinda annoying to have to share a bed every night? No. I miss it sometimes. Have you ever walked on a beach at night? Yes. It's beautiful. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Pretty easily, yeah. Would you marry someone you didn’t love if you were paid 10 thousand dollars? No. I just wouldn't be able to stomach doing that. I'm solely marrying for love. Have you had sex today? I haven't in many years. Do you still care about your last ex? Very very much! Do you own more then one bathing suit? Nope. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? Yeah, but none I like. Who have you recently made up with after fighting? Nobody. Who do you WANT to make up with? Jason. Megan. Do you get scared easily? Hm. It really depends on the situation. Have you seen UP? Never the full movie, actually. I need to. How many coats of mascara do you use? I use it so rarely that I barely know. Two, maybe? What’s your favorite bracelet? The one Sara gave me. I used to always wear it, but it's worn down with time and is too loose for me now, so it's just with my jewelry. What color hair does your mom have? It's naturally gray now, but she dyes it black. Favorite song to listen to when you are mad? "Headache" by Motionless In White does it. What restaurant would you want to work at? NONE. I ain't working with hungry people. I don't want to work with people - period. When people ask “how are you?” do you say “good” even if you aren’t? Depends on who's asking. If it's a stranger or someone I barely know, odds are I'm just going to reply with "fine" or something like that. Were you honestly a good kid? Yes. Is anything wrong with your eyes? I have to wear glasses, so. Have you kissed or hugged anyone today? No. What is your mom’s and dad’s favorite TV show? I don't really know for either. Mom watches loads of shows, and I don't live with Dad, so. I know he really likes The Big Bang Theory, though, which Mom also loves. Have you ever suspected your mom or dad of having an affair? No, but ~supposedly~, Dad did with his now-wife. I don't know what the fuck is true between my parents, though. Do you think buying second hand clothes is gross? It depends on the type of clothing (ex., used underwear is a huge fucking no), as well as the state it's in. Does it gross you out when your parents kiss? They're divorced. That would be incredibly weird, uncomfortable, and impossible with how I know at least Mom feels towards Dad. Do you have a playlist made on YouTube? Yeah, multiple. Do you like dollar stores? I mean, sure? They have good deals occasionally and are a good option to stop for a quick snack or something. Mom doesn't actually *shop* in them, though. What’s the last thing you bought from one? I think a honeybun. Do you think it’s weird how babies are made? Well, yeah. Science can be crazy, though. Have you ever lost a friend over the opposite sex? No. Are you comfortable in a short skirt? I wouldn't be comfortable in ANY skirt. Do you and your family go on a vacation ever year? We essentially never do. Vacations cost money. We don't have money to spare. When you were going out with your last ex and you had the chance to date your celebrity crush, would you have left your bf/gf for them? No, because it's not like I know him personally, while I know her very deeply. Who was your most romantic moment with? Jason. Do you sweat easily? Like you wouldn't BELIEVE. A side effect of one (or even multiple) of my meds is hyperhidrosis, so I can sweat an ocean in two minutes, it seems. It's disgusting, and I am so self-conscious about it. What’s one memory you wish would just vanish? Just a specific moment with Jason that is particularly agonizing to recall. Are you in love with someone? No. Partying or watching a movie? Partying isn't my thing. I'd have more fun watching a movie with friends. What pisses you off the most? Child molesters/rapists, probably. Where do you want to be at a year from now? I just want a job by then, dude. I also hope I've lost a lot of weight. Do you like pickles? Only dill pickles. If you saw someone broken down on the side of the road, would you stop to help? Honestly, no. I don't trust people. What do you do with your plastic grocery bags after you unload your things? We put our plastic bags into one big bag for later use. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yes. How often do you use Flickr? I don't. I only ever check my friend's for meerkat photos, ha ha. Share three nice memories you have of the person you fell hardest for. No, unless you want me to cry. Have you ever made any of your friends cry? Not deliberately of course, but yes. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? God no, I look high. Out of all the guys you know, who would you trust to not cheat on you? Girt. I know he never would, especially because HE'S been cheated on. How do you plan on disciplining your children? NOT by physical means, I can tell you that much. If I actually had kids, I'd teach them through (hopefully) primarily deeply talking things out. If need be, there'd be time out, grounding, things like that. I do NOT support methods like spanking your kid, so that's a big no. If you could live in another country, would you? What country? Yes; Canada. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Quinn, probably. What’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have? It's a tie between depression and anxiety. What is your cure for hiccups? NOTHING works for me. It's the worst. Did you ever do anything in class that annoyed other students? I mean, I don't think so. Have you used a Ouija board and had a freaky experience with it? I've never messed with one, and I don't want to. I don't know if I believe in their supernatural abilities or not, but I ain't fuckin around and finding out. Do you stick with a political party, or vote for who you like best? I pick based on their policies and morals, not necessarily their party. Do you know anyone who is an albino? No. Word search or crossword puzzle? Word searches. When you watch a game show, do you like to see people win or lose? Aw, who wants to see them lose? It's great to see people win and be so excited. Do you have a pair of fake redneck, vampire, etc. teeth? No. What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Do you get really mad when you lose a game? Not at all. I'm not very competitive, and games are about having fun. When was the last time you used a pay phone? I actually don't think I ever have. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Jason. Do you go to church every Sunday? I never go to church as I'm not religious. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? Who the fuck cares. If they're comfortable and at least have a shirt on, let 'em. Most women have breasts, big whoop. Do you even like politics? God no. What’s it like at raves? Oh god, I'd never go. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? lol yes

THE CHARACTER STATISTICS

FULL NAME — leopold kristoff fowler

NICKNAME — leo pretty exclusively methinks........ one of his brother’s used to call him krissy to annoy him n stopped after leo finally punched him over it snickers

D.O.B. — november 12th, 1996

LINK TO THEIR PINTEREST BOARD OR TAG ON YOUR BLOG — board | tag

STAR SIGN / MOON & RISING — scorpio sun, sagittarius moon, virgo ascending

MBTI — estp - the entrepeneur

MORAL ALIGNMENT — chaotic neutral

MARITAL STATUS & SEXUALITY — single & pansexual

LANGUAGES — english & dutch

TALENTS / HOBBIES — guitar, bass, drumming, partying titters, soccer, wastes way too much time making tiktoks

TOP 5 MUSICIANS — creedence clearwater revival, dababy :/, elvis presley, run the jewels, glass animals

FAVOURITE BOOK — has he ever even read a book................. a genuine good question. definitely liked some comics tho, like the walking dead ones probs

FAVOURITE FILM & TV SHOW — hes tht person whose fav movie is like . step brothers or something. like i unironically think leo loves tht movie n im sry abt it. he jst doesnt rly care wht he watches at all bt stupid humour like tht wld probs entertain him enough if he was watching something on his own / was attached to the walking dead cuz of the comics but otherwise doesn’t watch too many tv, probs watches marj’s Soaps w her whenever he has free time

FAVOURITE VIDEO GAME — i dnt kno much abt video games. he was probs more of an outdoors than video game kid bt feel like he’d like games w a story like life is strange or dumb ones tht rnt taken seriously n u can jst play simply on ur laptop like coming out on top or tht old computer game façade

WHAT DID THEY DO THIS PAST SUMMER? — worked A Lot to make up fr the damage he’d done after his last Episode at a local grocery store, jst hung out n partied w friends mostly otherwise

WHERE HAVE THEY TRAVELLED? — florida n new york mostly in the states before connecticut, amsterdam a lot, greece and italy as well

DO THEY TAKE ANY PRESCRIPTIONS? — has been given a fuck ton of mood stabilizers to try n hes only jst recently started Actually taking carbatrol tht hes been prescribed after basically being begged to by his aunt n uncle

DO THEY HAVE ANY DIAGNOSIS’S? — bipolar i, adhd

FICTIONAL CHARACTER THEY ARE MOST LIKE? — stu from scream (minus the murder lawl), jj maybank from outer banks, valerio from elite, ransom from knives out (minus the murder once more this pattern is getting scary)

ARE THEY EMPLOYED? WHERE DO THEY WORK? — yes they work as a florist at his aunt n uncle’s flower store fowler’s flowers! steve was so proud of all his hard work this summer he promoted leo to supervisor! :D

WERE THEY POPULAR IN HIGH SCHOOL? — he was definitely talked about, but he also went to like 5 diff high schools, people jst basically heard rumours n saw the stupid stuff he did n if they stuck around to see it it was merely bc they wanted to see if he had the balls to go through with his next stupid plan instead of with the intent of friendship or anything like that

DO THEY DO DRUGS? — ya he kinda jst does wtvr

DRINK? — too much yes.

SMOKE CIGARETTES? — not as much as he used to

SMOKE WEED? — a bit mostly if someone else offers it up

WHERE WERE THEY BORN? WHERE DID THEY GROW UP? — he was born in tallahassee but grew up between there n manhattan a lot depended on wht parent wasnt sick of him yet titters

DO THEY PLAN TO GO TO GRAD SCHOOL? — he doesn’t even kno if he’s gna make it thru his undergrad

WHAT ARE THEIR PLANS POST-GRADUATION? — there are none..... he wldnt b surprised if he jst ended up working at fowler’s flowers fr the rest of his life hes jst so comfortable there n has no idea wht hes gna do.

PARENTS NAMES — renata & archibald (mom n dad), marjorie & steven (aunt n uncle, current guardians)

DO THEY HAVE SIBLINGS? NAMES & AGES? — Yeth theres augustus (28), mikhael (26), vaughn (21), n willhelm (18)

DO THEY HAVE PETS? TYPES & NAMES? — mitzie’s a tortoiseshell cat tht lives at marj n steve’s tht he does love quite dearly bt thts it

ARE THEY RELIGIOUS? WHAT IS THEIR RELIGION IF SO? — lawl no, his dad is 7th day adventist tugs my shirt collar but leo hated it growing up, is pretty spiritual tho thanks to marj n steve

HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE THEY SLEPT WITH? — god. a Lot. 100+ frankly idek........ he jst doesnt care.

WHAT VEHICLE DO THEY DRIVE? IF THEY DON’T DRIVE, HOW DO THEY TRAVEL AROUND TOWN? — he doesn’t have his own car but he borrows his aunt n uncle’s if they’re not using it, rides his bike around a lot

DESCRIBE THEIR FASHION — so . insanely all over the place. jst doesn’t care. once wore a pair of his aunts leggings to a fkin funeral bc he didnt have anything clean. wore a crop top he made with the words ‘this is what gay looks like’ to a job interview. a sweater that said ‘big dick is back in town’ to a family reunion after he hadnt seen his immediate family in like . a year. jst a lot of absurd thrift store finds n wtvr he wants. patterns tht dont match. very proud of his neon green dr martens w aliens on the side. anything loud rly.......

DO THEY PREFER TO BE BEHIND THE CAMERA OR IN FRONT OF IT? — either/or

DO THEY BELIEVE ANY OF THE STORIES ABOUT RADCLIFFE? WHICH ONES? — not really, but he pretends he does and relays them all to his aunt to freak her out bc she RLY believes them

DO THEY THINK THE MOTHMAN IS HOT? — yes<3

A QUOTE THAT DESCRIBES THEM — “It is an act of rebellion to remain present, to go against society’s desire for you to numb yourself, to look away. But we must not look away.”

A SONG THAT THEY WOULD RELATE TO — morning in america - jon bellion

{ madelaine petsch ♔ twenty-five ♔ she/her } well, well, well if it isn’t peyton ainsworth running around peach hollow. legend has it, they come from oliver avenue and have lived here for eight months. if you’re wondering what they are up to, i hear they’re an event planner for a living. they have been known to be vicious yet loyal. a word of advice to them, always look over your shoulder. you never know who is watching. { haley ♔ twenty ♔ est ♔ she/her }

hello everyone and welcome to peach hollow!! as an admin i am so excited to get this party started. us admins are five ppl who love to write and have been through way too many failed rps. soooo we put in all of our love in effort into making this one!!

 this is my bby peyton she’s def an acquired taste bc well she’s a bitch but you’re gonna love her i promise!! anyways i’m haley and we should plot!

past

peyton hasn’t live in georgia all of her life. in fact she is one of the town’s newer residence. she moved there a little under a year ago with her mom and sister.

peyton was born and raised in san francisco in a neighborhood called pacific heights, commonly known as billionaire’s row.

she was born into wealth, her father owning a chain of five star hotels that had been passed down through the generations for as long as she could remember. she spent a ton of time in the beautiful hotels her father owned, learning her work ethic from him. her father was stoic man who put more value on a dollar than substantial relationships with his family. your typical rich dad.

her mother was a trophy wife, spewing meaningless side projects like perfume lines and eye shadow palettes that enviably made their way into departments stores alike.

peyton’s fondest childhood memories was helping set up for the weddings in the hotels. watching the flowers be arranged, the chairs be strategically placed, the wait staff setting the champagne flutes. this lead to her taking an interest in doodling wedding dresses and small flower arrangements.

she has a small wildflower tattoo going along the curve of her breast that she drew, fun fact.

when she was three, her little sister was born. the two grew up inseparable, running amuck in their house together, pranking the nannies but most importantly: ice skating. there were obviously no ice rinks in california naturally but their nanny would take them to an indoor skating rink for lessons. peyton and audrey were quite good skaters.

in high school, peyton won a ton of awards in art contests and even got scholarship to attend art schools across the country.

her dad insisted there was no money in being artist (even if money was never a problem for them), he urged her to take over and be a hotel tycoon like him. peyton and her father fought a lot towards the end of high school about this but at the end of the day, she was her fathers daughter and was stubborn. peyton knew the key to happiness was chasing you passion instead of the dollar.

she attended rhode island school of art and design, earning a degree in interior design and a minor in illustrator. after graduating, she returned home and expected to have a job in the hotel that could suit her.

as she expected, her father got her a job in his business planning the events and having creative control over how each other ballrooms looked as well as the lobbies. working in close quarters with her father made their relationship grow quite strong. the two did everything together and suddenly their stoic walls were crumbling, only for each other.

it seemed as though everything in peyton’s life was coming together. she was the head event coordinator at the hotel, her father was her boss and allowed her to have free range. her sister was around so they could goof off at work.

this was until one day peyton was bringing her father lunch from their favorite mexican food truck in the city. she then walked in on her father sleeping with his assistant which put a stake in their relationship.

peyton couldn’t keep the secret from her mother. she’d rather her mother walk away with dignity rather than stay with a man who had no respect for her. but her mother did not have the same respect for herself.

peyton made the decision to take her funds and move to georgia to be near her grandparents, that’s how she ended up in peach hollow.

now, in peach hollow:

peyton enjoys living in peach hollow. she likes being close her grandparents and she enjoys being surrounded by wealthy and like minded people, due to being a bit prissy.

the redhead can’t seem to shake her bitterness about her father’s affair and paid people in her father’s company to teach her how to hack.

she started using hacking to see her father’s finances and text messages but has graduated onto hacking other people’s phones, nobody’s really safe.

her father tries to reach out but she doesn’t offer any forgiveness. but she pays him little mind.

her mother often sends her checks and peyton will occasionally cast them in times of desperation but peyton is pretty well off living in a nice home on oliver avenue. 

peyton is an event planner and works with some of the richest people in georgia. she works mostly at the caledonia in their grandiose ballroom, throwing gatsby scale events. 

the redhead loved the thrill and pride of hosting such events: weddings, birthday parties, company gatherings, new years eve bashes and so on. but most importantly, she loved meeting people in networking the way a true socialite does. 

this networking lead her into the lifestyle of being friends with richer families in peach hollow. and more than friends with the men. peyton persued being an escort for a few reasons.

to maintain social status

get a nice paycheck

get back at her father

BEING AN ESCORT IS A SECRET SHE KEEPS FROM EVERYONE IN HER LIFE. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO KNOW ARE HER CLIENTS WHO WANT THINGS TO BE EQUALLY CONFIDENTIAL. 

personality:

perfectionist!! detail oriented!!

CRAZY PSYCHO BITCH

the problem child bc her sister is an angel

big bitch but has a heart sometimes

she will not go get mexican food w u don’t even ask but she really just wants a damn burrito

will literally come over and marie kondo ur entire life

evil genius and luvs revenge

a legit psycho when it comes to loving people like has hacked her exes phones even though she seems calm and collected on surface level

will force u to watch home videos of her skating and u will watch

don’t ask to see her sketch books she will blush and change the subject

wanted connections:

ex bf/gf: peyton met them shortly after moving to nyc. they showed her the ropes to the east coast and they did everything touristy you can think of together. they were super toxic because peyton is CRAZY. we can plot how they broke up and when.

a no homo friendship: a really close female friendship that peyton has a crush on the other and is super flirty towards them but acts like she doesnt have feelings for them bc fear of rejection and like acts she’s joking (but maybe it’s one sided/unrequited or maybe it’s mutual???)

clients: people she’s planned events or is going to plan events for

escorting client: some rich ass secretive people

ride or die: the person that peyton is closest too and has seen her soft side. she is a super bitch so this is a rly big deal. they are an unbreakable bond.

a rival cousin: someone who is in constant competition with peyton because they’re related. they have made beef & are rivals. but at the same time they would kill each other & kill for each other.

friends turn enemies: were friends up until a certain point, but either realized they never really liked each other or one just dropped the other or maybe something happed idk lets plot

friends w. benefits: peyton be a sexual ass hoe so bring her ur guy, gals, and non binary pals

LITERALLY ANYTHING LET’S PLOT

i’m feeling nostalgic about the last decade of my life so here’s a post reminiscing on that and a bit about why i am the way i am i guess... it got kinda philosophical as i wrote it... feel free 2 ignore bc it is relevant to literally nothing at all and is very disorganized but if you wanna read it that’s cool too! it doesn’t encompass every little thing that happened to me or even most of the things i was into over time but i think i covered all the major events and influential media

please like the post if you read it!

sad animal stuff tw

the 2010-2019 decade encompassed all of my teens so obviously i did a lot of growth as a person. and got 4 inches taller. but im proud of what i have improved on in spite of my shortcomings and some traumatizing things that have really set me back a bit.

at the start of the decade, my family living together was me, my parents, and our four cats: star, sara jane, ditto, and jefferson.

2010: i turned 13 years old in february. i was a volunteer at the public library in the town i lived in, so i got to see all my friends every wednesday. i was starting to get really into anime and getting out of star trek which i’d been obsessed with since like 2008. deviantart was my social media of choice and i met one of my best friends, daniel, this year and we’re still friends to this day. irl however, because of the recession, and the fact my dad had lost his job in 2008, we lost the house we were living in (foreclosure) and had to pull up stakes and move 5 hours away to far south texas (the rio grande valley), close to the mexico border, to live with my grandma in 2011.

2011: i turned 14 years old in february. 4 days later is when my parents and i, with the help of my uncle, moved everything including three of our four cats. one of our cats, star, we had to give to a shelter bc she had severe depression after we lost another of our cats, oliver, in 2007. she couldn’t take care of herself properly and we couldn’t afford to groom her etc any more. living in the valley was a bit neat at first but quickly became severely depressing. i obviously had no friends there since i was homeschooled and the libraries were... a bit lacking, so there was no hope in me volunteering. we were living with my grandma and things got a bit rough, she accused the cats of bringing in fleas (they didn’t have fleas before we moved there) so they had to stay in the garage, and relations between ourselves and her got a bit turbulent. my mom called her mother and we arranged for she and i to go live with her (a 9 hour drive away, the dfw metroplex) in june. my dad stayed in the valley to finish the college course he was taking. i remember i was very into sailor moon and megaman at the beginning of the year and... hetalia at the end... i was 14, okay? i also started my original tumblr account this year.

2012: i turned 15 years old. i was very happy this year, discovering my interests etc and just genuinely having a good time. i volunteered at a locally owned health food store a short bike ride from where i was living, and helped them clean up shelves and process orders once a week in exchange for a meal from the store. the two owners of the store were super nice to me and helped me out quite a bit as i was going through my late teens. i was WAY into homestuck and ace attorney and when my dad moved up with us that summer, we got really into fullmetal alchemist together. i had seen most of the 2003 anime when i was 13 but never finished it, so he and i finished that and brotherhood together. i was super obsessed with kimblee and gained a reputation on tumblr for being obsessed with him. i also gained a reputation on tumblr for laughing at this gif for 37 years. i also started dating my first girlfriend this year and things were good for a while. i was a bit emotionally unstable online but i kept myself in check irl. in december i got into an anime called inazuma eleven...

2013: i turned 16 years old. “dropped out” of tenth grade (still homeschooled so basically just stopped doing my work bc it was boring and not engaging.) inazuma eleven took over my life. i was completely obsessed. i remember little else about 2013 other than going to my first anime convention (a-kon in dallas) and meeting one of my tumblr friends, the person who got me into inazuma eleven. i also got very into vintage anime this year but i sincerely don’t remember a lot else. things again got turbulent where my parents and i were living (mental illness runs in my mom’s side of the family) and things were pretty horrible so i locked myself in my room almost all of the time unless the weather was cool enough for me to ride my bike around town. my love for desarm from inazuma eleven kept me going through the latter half of this year and became iconic in my tumblr circles much as my love for kimblee was. speaking of kimblee and desarm, for this year and 2014, several of my friends made their icon kimblee in 2013 and desarm in 2014 for my birthday. it’s a very small gesture and this was a long time ago but it’s something i’ll definitely never forget. i also got really into the x-files this year, my parents were obsessed with it in the 90s and gave me the middle name anderson because of gillian anderson. so it only makes sense that eventually i would vibe with it.

2014: i turned 17 years old. my parents finally had started saving enough money for us to get out and that spring we moved to an apartment. my previously mentioned friend that got me into inazuma cut me and several other friends off without a word and this has continued to give me trust issues especially concerning making new friends. my parents had to give up one of our cats to a shelter since the apartments had a two pet limit, and unfortunately the one that had to go was the oldest, my best friend, ditto. i did very poorly the rest of the year and into the next. however, this was also the year i discovered my favourite anime (galaxy express 999) and my favourite band (the b-52s) so it wasn’t too terrible. i also met one of my best friends, ash, irl (we had been friends on tumblr since 2012) and through them i also met another one of my best friends, elijah. i also met ANOTHER one of my best friends, conner, this year through the health food store. i inherited my parents’ x files media collection which included literally 7+ year’s worth of newspaper clippings, books, magazines, tapes, etc, including one fundamentally prophetic item. i got super into yu-gi-oh at the very end of the year.

2015: i turned 18 years old. i was so mentally and emotionally gunched that i had to break up with my girlfriend, we remained friends for a while but admittedly i wasn’t very good to her which i regret because she was one of the better people in my life at this time. my little yu-gi-oh obsession kept me going for a while, and i’d pepper in some of the retsupurae videos on youtube for a chuckle. through them i got obsessed with two dos games from the 1990s, darkseed and darkseed 2, and though /those/ i became obsessed with my favourite artist, h.r. giger. in the summer, we got this new channel on tv that showed vintage game shows 24/7 and i watched it super religiously. like, it was really crazy. one of the game show hosts in particular, bert convy, completely captivated me. something about his mannerisms and voice always soothed me and i always found myself looking forward to his shows being on. 

2016: i turned 19 years old. i got my first real job which i am still at currently, and quit working at the health food store. i started volunteering at a-kon and made great new friends. i was obsessed with 1990s sonic the hedgehog games and media for whatever reason the first half of the year. i also spent a lot of time researching things about bert convy’s life and projects he worked on, and he really inspired me to keep going. it was just wild to me, a famous person that didn’t spend their whole life doing only one thing... it soothed my uncertainty about my own life. with my fresh hot new paychecks coming in i started buying myself merch and cosplays i had always wanted... including things related to a series i was just getting super into again: inazuma eleven. i also remember getting into mystery science theatre 3000 this year (see the link in the 2014 paragraph) as it held nostalgic value for being present in the majority of my early childhood memories - my dad would constantly have it on whenever he was home from work circa 1999-2001 and i always remember loving the theme song and ending theme but getting frustrated bc in my head it was just sesame street for adults. try again in 16 years i guess.

2017: i turned 20 years old. i don’t remember a lot about this year other than our other two cats getting old and sick and passing away a few months apart. it was very stressful for me as i had never in my life lived without cats around. it took over a year for me to even be able to look at cat photos without feeling upset. i also had the worst food poisoning of my life this year and was actually convinced i was going to die because it was so violent and lasted so many days. another thing (this time it’s good) that happened this year is my parents and i finally all got decent phones and we all became addicted to pokemon go and still are. i also started dating my third girlfriend late in the year (idr when i dated my second bc it didn’t last long lol. but we are still very close friends) and she got me into monster factory.

2018: i turned 21 years old. got my GED without studying for it bc im that bitch. living at the apartment sucked absolute ass bc our neighbours were shite. so we moved to a duplex from the 1980s and it rocked. this year i was really REALLY into inazuma eleven again and made a bunch of friends in the fandom. i also became obsessed with vintage bollywood this year, particularly anything madhubala was in. one of my new managers at work and i became really good friends because we were both really into pokemon go. my third girlfriend and i broke up and it was a massive blow to my trust and self esteem and after this i had an even harder time really making new friends or talking to anyone. but that’s okay, because i’m about to get really into orange is the new black and it’s gonna change a lot. see the link in the 2014 paragraph again.

2019: i turned 22 years old. i spent january and february doing little else but binging orange is the new black. i was obsessed. this is when i started to have the really weird and kind of bad prison dreams. my favourite character was red, the russian lady running the kitchen. i was so so so in love with her that i had to find out what else the actress was in. uh oh! star trek voyager! i had never seen any star trek besides tos and tng so i made the plunge and loved it immediately. the characters of voyager became like a family to me. my friends from the inazuma fandom and i ended up having some pretty severe creative differences but voyager helped me take the blow of losing all that friendship because it helped me realize there’s so much more out there. i was (and still am) deeply in love with captain janeway, in spite of not always agreeing with everything her character did. her morally grey demeanor made her so much more real to me. my love for voyager was also boosted by the fact that my manager friend that played pokemon go with me also loved voyager and it was his favourite trek. in june i found a star trek cosplay group that wrote their own stories and made little fake “episodes” with the cosplay photos and i thought it sounded fun so i joined and am now the ship’s counselor. i was convinced by the captain to watch deep space nine in spite of me not wanting to, so as to further my st universe knowledge. i absolutely hated it at first but a character named odo grew on me quickly. i had to quit my job due to an abusive manager and was severely depressed over the summer but once that manager finally got fired, my manager friend rehired me with a good raise. ds9 as a series grew on me a lot more and i ended up making another one of my best friends, boss, because of it. i’ve made lots of other good friends because of trek too but because of what happened with the inazuma friend group i’m still a bit wary of others unfortunately. but overall i’m very happy that things led me to getting back into star trek again, odo and janeway both fill me with so much love that they keep me going. things aren’t perfect in my life but i’m very happy i have them, my parents, and my friends. also i’m really obsessed with vintage bollywood again. to be continued next decade

All of them :)

Oh boy, here we go. SORRY FOR THIS BEING SO LONG ^^;;

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffe mugs bc I’m kinda afraid of breaking teacups or wine glasses, and I just don’t like water bottles or soda cans! XD

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Depends on my mood ^^

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

COTTON CANDY! They are magical.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

I was always the teacher’s pet ahaha

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Glass cups!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Formal! I don’t think I’d look good in the other styles

7. earbuds or headphones?

Aaah I love headphones but they’re expensive... so I have earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

generally movies unless I get super invested in a tv show!

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Watermelons!

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

None of them lol (I guess I was decent at basketball)

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Scrambled eggs and toast with strawberry jam

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I don’t really make playlists! I usually listen by album or artist!

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm... key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Sour skittles or sour punch straw bites!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

East of Eden by John Steinbeck. A truly remarkable story about man’s free will in choosing good or evil 

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Seiza

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

The ones I have now. They’re brown leather shoes that can pass as formal but aren’t really XD

18. ideal weather?

Sunny but cool!

19. sleeping position?

On my right side with one arm under my pillow!

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

In a notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Idk if I have any... an interest in space?

22. role model?

My mom. She’s a strong woman

23. strange habits?

After I eat a plum I like to keep the pit in my mouth and suck on it for like... an hour.... (or more...)

24. favorite crystal?

Peacock ore (idk crystals well but on a buzzfeed quiz that’s what I picked)

25. first song you remember hearing?

My mom singing to me in Chinese “This is the day that the Lord hath made”

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Eat watermelon

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

....cuddle ^^;

28. five songs to describe you?

Aaahhh..... 

Aoi Chi, and Hoshi wo Otosu by Galileo Galilei

Ashita ni wa Subete ga Owaru Toshite by Kinoko Teikoku

Mayonaka no Orchestra by Aqua Timez

Light Delight by Poppin’ Party

29. best way to bond with you?

Listen to Galileo Galilei with me... but this might be asking a bit much so I wouldn’t push it. Next would be, watching anime together? ^^;

30. places that you find sacred?

religious structures/monuments, graves and cemeteries, the usual sacred places...  and anyone’s personal bookshelf. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

I don’t wanna kick ass or take names :(

32. top five favorite vines?

THERE’S TOO MANY I LIKE and I don’t keep track of them!!!

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Hhh...” “Asghkjsdjf;as”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Not really, I don’t watch tv much anymore

35. average time you fall asleep?

2-3 a.m.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

... don’t remember

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase!

38. lemonade or tea?

depends on mood!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Idk...

41. last person you texted?

My twin

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Jacket pockets!!!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan!

44. favorite scent for soap?

I like my pomegranate one rn ^^

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

oooh... sci-fi or superhero!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

my gym shorts from middle school and a thin t-shirt XD

47. favorite type of cheese?

Gah I don’t like cheese by itself much or in large concentrations

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I don’t know! I tried asking my friends this too but they couldn’t say either lol

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“Never be cruel, never be cowardly, and if you ever are, always make amends.” That or, “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Ahhh... I can’t remember but it was probably sometime hanging out with friends

51. current stresses?

My exams hhh....

52. favorite font?

No preference ^^;

53. what is the current state of your hands?

?? mine are kinda rough and dry....

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Don’t try to take on everything by yourself. 

55. favorite fairy tale?

Journey to the West (Sun Wu Kong), although this may be too long to count as a fairy tale aha...

56. favorite tradition?

The entire holiday of Christmas :D

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The death of my dad was the hardest thing I ever had to overcome and nothing else really comes close enough to that that I can rank on the same level :(

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Learning the piano and Japanese, and ah...

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Yay I did it!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

A soft, slowburn romantic comedy uwu

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Aaahhh way too much to pick...

62. seven characters you relate to?

Arima Kousei (YLiA), Riko Sakurauchi (Love Live!), Sayo Hikawa (Bandori), Mabuchi Kou (Ao Haru), Nana Daiba (Revue Starlight), Takuto (Star Driver (don’t really relate but I really like him)), Kaoru (Sakamichi no Apollon)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Pop Spice and Upper Tune by YKMM, and.... many GARNiDELiA songs

64. favorite website from your childhood?

AQWorlds....

65. any permanent scars?

It looks like a bald spot on my eyebrow. From when I tripped and bashed my head on an armchair ^^;;

66. favorite flower(s)?

Lilies, cherry blossoms, azaleas

67. good luck charms?

small trinkets that friends have given me ^^

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Asparagus for food!! and.... eggnog for drink?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

can’t think of one XD

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

not sure what this means... XD

72. worst subject?

probably... English lit. 

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

I don’t have any I’m not a very adventurous person with food XD

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Probably like... 7 or 8

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

Waah I don’t remember!

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Waffle fries!!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Succulents!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Sushi from a grocery store XD

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

I can’t make out the picture on my school id now cus it’s so faded, so... drivers license XD

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Like to wear? I find jewel tones more pleasing but... earth tones probably suit me

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I kinda use both...

82. pc or console?

PC

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket?

I didn’t play with either but barbie if I had to choose!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology!!!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Chocolate chip cookies only and if not, cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Being alone in life...

88. your greatest wish?

To make my friends and family happy!

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My twin brother and my significant other if I had one!

90. luckiest mistake?

um... can’t think of one

91. boxes or bags?

This is weird... they suit different situations and needs!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Lamps

93. nicknames?

Joey mainly, but I’ve had Josie before ^^

94. favorite season?

Fall in terms of weather but summer bc no school and I can see friends!

95. favorite app on your phone?

Twitter.... or SIF

96. desktop background?

A piece of art for YLiA

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

3

98. favorite historical era?

Tang Dynasty China or Ancient Greece!

6.28.18 friends

Okay so I talked a lil about it b4. How I have like no one besides my mom and boyfriend (who are rlly fu kin tired of me). I mean I have other ppl kinda that are like around but not rlly (Like they live kinda far/ kinda rlly far or maybe I'm just distant to them and everyone in general idek).

But I met a girl at CVS in the mall the other day and she was truly nice and sweet and real. Me and my mom talked to her for at least 10-15 mins about how these chain drugstores are bullshit and especially how both our stores are small. BUT SHE SEEMED LIKE MY KINDA PPL (and I wanted to give her my info but i didn't know how. My mom was there and then a customer came up to her counter but like hhhhhhhhhhhhh. I rlly need to make friends and she seemed gr8. I want to go back and make up an excuse to see her tbh. She was super cute.

SPEAKING OF MAKIN FRIENDS: BACK STORY:

My bf went to a crazy party last weekend and that's great I'm glad he had fun but he could've invited me but didn't? And he knew it was gonna be a fun one and I've been dying to get to a fun crazy party for forever (BC I've never been and I want to do stuff with my bf!!!) and I WAS FREE THAT NIGHT AND HE DIDNT EVEN BOTHER ASKING.

Apparently it was a "boys party" and only the hosts wife was the only woman there but EVEN THE HOST ASKED "WHERE'S UR GIRL" and then he said "at home".

LIKE IDK, MAYBE HES LYING, MAYBE HES TELLING THE TRUTH. IDK. I'LL GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT AND GET OVER IT.

BUT ONE THING I WONT REALLY GET OVER IS THAT HE SAID "PPL TYPICALLY ONLY WANT TO HANG AROUND OTHER PPL WHO CAN SUPPORT THEMSELVES" in response to me saying that I dont have friends who throw crazy parties.

(IT was honestly a big pointing finger at me not being able to drive yet/have a car. BUT I'VE BEEN WORKING REAL HARD AT IT! I GOT IT IN NOVEMBER. ITS JUNE NOW. MY MOM HASNT TAKE ME OUT AS MUCH BC THE SHOW AND ICE/HER MEDICAL ISSUES. A N D my dad even got me a car! We just need to make sure its totslly good (fingers crossed).

BUT EVEN IF I HAD A CAR, WHERE WOULD I MEET GOOD PEOPLE MY AGE WHO WANT TO PARTY?!?!?!

A N D Im not at a job/ HAVENT been at a job where young ppl work at/come in to. My coworker friends are LITRERALLY 30-60+ (and married/divorced/have kids my age) and I'm only 6 months away from being able to drink legally.

Sure I'm an old soul. People have called me "cute" and "sweet" and "personable" but they don't want to deal with me all the time. They don't want to be my friend. They don't want to bother with me.

Im just a nice person to run into. Like a nice NPC in a video game. I don't give out quests but I give little tokens and boosts and you just use me. Hang with me a few times and move on to the next big thing.

Im nothing great. Just average. Average at everything. Nothing stands out about me besides my lazy eyes and my amount of body fat.

gah another 5 am post eh fellas

fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now)  and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it. 

saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now. 

so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it.  i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so  i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess. 

okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have  a ballet company idk. 

all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could  be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love  a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents  and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim. 

Hi. One time I flew from Beijing to Shanghai to see Fall Out Boy and then flew back hours later.

Then I went straight to work. D:

This was my first time traveling in China completely alone. It was pretty neat. I felt like a real grown-up lol

The goals were (chronologically):

1. Taco Bell

2. Fall Out Boy

and I achieved both! :D YAY I DID IT. I DID A THING. TWO THINGS.

1. 

In the cab from the hotel, looking for the Taco Bell, I saw this thing:

I was like, “Hey, what’s that thing?” and the driver was like, “Dongfangmingzhu(??).” I kinda? recognized it, and was like, “That must be important. I’ll look that up later,” and then I didn’t because taco distractions and Fall Out Boy. 

Also, he said my Chinese was good, and I was like heeeeeeeee. :3

Yooooo I’m getting close!

Found it! 

Chicken quesadillas, I missed you so much. :’o

They played Remember Me from Coco when I was in there. I was feeling it. 

I wanted to try other stuff, but I got full. :( I’m getting kinda sad now just thinking about that food lol I need to go back to Shanghai soon!

While I was smashing them fries, my friend messaged me on WeChat: “这是上海的地标。The Oriental Pearl TV Tower. The symbol of Shanghai.”

Neat. 

I decided that it probably costed money to go look at, so after food, I walked right on past it to find something else to do for a while.

One goal down, hours before the show. The venue was pretty close, so I was gonna just explore the area until about an hour before. 

I came back to the area I walked past the first time, and just walked in?? It was free! Neat. It was also the entrance to “The Oriental Pearl TV Tower. The symbol of Shanghai.” Double neat. I didn’t go up to the top because that DID cost money, and I didn’t know how long it would take or how much it would cost blah blah. But I did walk hurriedly around a museum and bought some post cards and dumb stuff for some people back in Beijing. Look at this baby:

So yeah. Then I Didi’d to the venue for goal number 2!

2.

I got in and IMMEDIATELY started buying merch. Very glad I did because a lot of it was already gone. :( I bought almost everything there. :( The one guy there that spoke English was like, “Wow you must really like this band,” and I was like, “I’ve been listening to this band for 15 years. GIVE ME ALL THE THINGS.”

OMG! :D

I sat next to this 16(?) year-old girl and her dad(?) from Mexico. They’d been living in China for 5(?) years-ish. I don’t remember much else from that conversation other than the part where she shared her M&M’s with me. So sweet. D: Also she gave me this purple thingie because she had an extra:

I wonder whose job it was to cut all those out? And I wonder if they were all on a big purple sheet of paper? Because I want that?

Anyway, I went out and paid like FIFTEEN KUAI FOR A CUP OF WATER (that I kicked over probably during HOLD ME TIGHT, OR DON’T bc I was getting down to that, for real), and then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t have a lot of pictures because when I WAS using my phone, I was texting and sending videos to my bff @llamac0rn , saying emo dumb stuff because Fall Out Boy and emotions were happening. 

I was so close, y’all omg. I never thought I’d be that close to Fall Out Boy? In my life? It was so weird. Like...being a teenager(?) and watching the Dance, Dance video on tv after school, seeing their interviews, always seeing them through a screen, and then just SEEING THEM. RIGHT THERE. THEIR FACES. REAL PEOPLE. Did y’all know the Fall Out Boys are real? I didn't. 

Yeah. 

After it was over, everyone was doing the thing where you don’t leave because you just can’t, okay? You just can’t.  But then all the security was like GTFO, so we did, and on the way out I saw this girl:

I was like, “Yo, same!”

Outside, there were two guys selling knock-off Fall Out Boy shirts, and of course I bought them lol I mean maybe they weren’t knockoffs? I’m just assuming they were because each shirt that was being sold at the show was at least 200 kuai, and those dudes were selling shirts for 50. I think I bought three? lol I spent so much money that day, y’all. I don’t even feel bad. I deserved it, okay? oKAY?

After spending all that money, I went and spent more money at a convenience store because I didn’t know if I’d be hungry later (for chocolate) when I got back to the hotel. Some teenage foreigners were in there acting like asses because I guess...teenagers act like asses? Often? I’m pretty sure I did too. Anyway, the poor workers. :( I guess I gave them a nice distraction when I asked them (in Chinese) for a bag and where I could call a cab. She said my Chinese was better than hers lol. Joke’s on her, I could only understand half of what she was saying. :’D

I went outside and called the hotel and asked for the address to put into Didi, and they were like !!!!!!!ENGLISH!!!!!!! and hung up on me. Then I called back like, “Hi. It’s me again. I’m still on the side of the road in the middle of the night. Help?” And they were like, “Uh? Wifi? Password is!!!!.....Sorry I can not speak English.”

Good thing the room key had the address on it. :) 

On the way back to the hotel, I clearly saw a full moon and a clear sky for the first time in a very long time. I was kinda sad to go back to Beijing, but I enjoyed my few hours in Shanghai. I was having one of my worst weeks in China up until I got on the plane there. One of the best days of my life so far. Reasons to stay alive, for sure.

Thanks, Fall Out Boy.

2018年 5月 2号

Today I felt emotionally stable. I got a solid amount of work done even though I worked four out of eight hours. I had fun texting Jess. I want to call them hiro. I like flirting w them. Tho I would like to get to know them better. I don’t want to rush into anything and I wanna feel calm n comfortable around them. So far I am. I have yet to find out if we compliment eachother and if we will mesh. I think I just want to be myself around them and not worry too much abt labels or expectations. It’s good so far cuz I think we have common interests and shared hobbies like video games. So I def feel like we can bond as friends over that. And then maybe it’ll grow into something more or maybe it won’t. Kinda hard to know this early on. It’ll take time for me to feel comfortable opening myself up to them. I’m not gonna throw myself out there too soon and reveal all my cards. I’ll keep it reserved and wait for them to make some moves first. Seems p balanced so far. They said good morning to me n was initiating convo :3 so that made me happy. I’ve been doing a good job holding my infatuation back but also enjoying the rush of the moment. It made me said when hiro told me that they have neophobia, cuz I really like trying new things. And also I worry that their Coeliac disease might make sharing things more difficult since a lot of food has gluten. I like that they r pretty asian in terms of cleanliness and eating foods like natto and umeboshi. And they’re rly cute for sending me wiki articles of both those things haha. I was surprised to find out that hiro is 25 years old but I kinda glad bc I like more mature ppl. And I like how we talk in diff languages to eachother. I wonder what their friends r like. I hope they’re not all white cuz I’m scared of white ppl. I just don’t feel super comfortable around them bc they make me feel invalidated and so foreign. I think it’s cool they have a therapist cuz that’s something I’ve been thinking abt lately. Investing in mental and emotional health is always rly attractive. So are their hands hehe. It’s funny how we’re both kinda shy abt flirting w eachother. I’m not as forward as I usually am and I like that I don’t have to be to keep their attention :) and we also share a love and interest for art, which is something that is new to me that I’m really excited to experience. Cuz then we could paint stuff together and look at art museums together. But of course it all needs chemistry first. I wonder if we’ll have any physical chemistry when we meet in person. If it’ll be rly strong off the bat or be a slow buildup or maybe it won’t b there at all and we’ll feel super comfy w eachother. I wonder what our love languages will be. I feel like it’s easy to communicate love w other Asians even if they’re only half asian bc they understand both the American and asian perspectives. They thought I was 19 lol. Oh and we also both climb, that’s gonna b really really cool if we actually have good chemistry and friendship. They’re kinda shy and hard to talk to on phone tho. I hope that’ll change over time. I didn’t like how hiro called my island bald and was saying that I was leaving trash on her island >:( not nice. But other than that they seem kind and encouraging. Can’t believe I told her I’m attracted to the thought of their nice hands embracing me tenderly and they weren’t weirded out about it :D that means I can dial it down a notch which will definitely make me feel a little bit more stable and not afraid of being ghosted or it not being mutual. I’m curious abt their family dynamic and what it was like for them growing up w unmarried and mixed parents. I want to ask that but I’ll save it for later. I’m also curious about their pronouns and if they would feel dysphoric if I referred to them as my gf. BUT that can wait cuz I mean we’re not dating and I don’t wanna rush or scare them w the dtr talk. They seem pretty open tho so I feel pretty comfortable. They like olives also and actual legit lavender flavor. That’s attractive.

At first I had some traumatic flashbacks of jenna bc they reminded me of her. Strangely kinda similar. Jenna isn’t half asian, but she was adopted by white parents. Also her parents had an unconventional dynamic, the dad was a widow bc the mom took her life and the dad married a new person. Oh also hiro has tattoos and kinda dressed like her. But hiro seems more reserved and emo and I like that, and into video games. I rly rly like that :) and culture and art. I like I like. And rly studious. Me like hehe. And also gender queer. I also like hehe. And dorky n shy and playful. Def bonus attraction :D I p confident we’d get a long as friends. Def wanna solidify that first before doing anything beyond that. But ya I would definitely get in bed w them hehehe. They’re rly cute.

Anyway about my day I also practiced guitar for like two hours, played animal crossing w hiro, and hung out w EG friends. That was the highlight of my day. I rly miss em. We watched shrek and played some jack box. That was good. I had a lot of laughs. :) then I started questioning my feelings and the way that I love ray is related to the slogan from the half of it. “Not every love story is a romance”. Cuz I love that guy to death and at one point I had like mini moments where I’d really want to cuddle him or like be physical w him, but I think I just rly rly love how much he’s helped me grow as a person and supported me and allowed me to be honest w him about everything and anything. I really want to apply all the positivity and thoughtfulness I’ve learned from him to my everyday approach to life. I feel like I’ve gone from a really depressing person to someone who is still depressed but very excited and positive about life at the same time. And no longer had to desperately search for external validation or guess about whether or not I deserve love. I just don’t question it anymore who decides to give me love and who doesn’t. I feel very grateful for my friends and my financial situation, my own place and freedom and awesome coworker rex. I feel grateful that I’m still in touch with sean, kara, dixie, aish, my swe friends, Jon, and I get to have awesome conversations abt politics and feminism and funny memes w people everyday. Also my brother and my mom, eh for my dad. And also natalie and my brother who have been there since day 1. I can’t wait to explore what else is in store for me for the future and move on wo th my life. I’m excited to explore my relationship w hiro and see what I can offer and what they can offer. I hope they see value in my abilities to be emotionally sensitive, make delicious food, be methodical and logical and clean, and also have stability and boundaries and good articulate communication. I want to work on being less defensive and being more kind to myself. Not doubting when people show me affection and not questioning when ppl do nice things for me. My perspective on life and fervor to do the right thing. I want to finish my list of tv shows and movies and make some bomb ass paintings. Oh also the fact that I got closure w my ex and we’re on good terms now and they’re gonna hook me up w some film gigs :D I rly hope hiro isn’t the jealous type that gets insecure and makes assumptions abt my relationships w other ppl. I’m still scared from my relationship w bianca and paranoid abt doing the wrong thing and not having my boundaries respected. Not having my voice heard or believed. I want to see if it’s worth it to go all in first before I do. Bianca def dived in head first super super soon. Like our first date we kissed and she slept over. And I was pressured into doing it w her even when I hesitated. That was such a meh thing and sign I should’ve realized it. But my self esteem was so low I think I was unable to value my own feelings and be there for myself when I needed myself to stand up for my feelings. I hope that I can improve my social anxiety and be more kind to myself and respect myself more. I’m doing a p good job so far w that whole situation w my dad. Just keeping my distance so I can keep my sanity cuz I care about myself enough to not compromise myself for his shittiness. I love this time I get to reflect on myself. I really really love it. I feel so free. I can’t wait to talk to hiro tmrw

OQ Prompt Party Week

Hi everyone! I set up a Tumblr because I thought it would be the easiest place to post all of the prompts for the OQ Prompt Party week. 

If you’d like to take part, just select any of the prompts from the list below and write a fic, make a video or create some art based on it. Please note that more than one person may choose the same prompt.

You may submit new stories or include the prompts in any of your existing verses.

Artists & Video makers may use any of the prompts, but there are some Art/Video specific ones at the bottom of the post.

I have condensed some of the prompts that were a little too long... and feel free to take some liberties with some of the more specific prompts!

If you have any questions, please tweet @OQPromptParty

OQ Prompt Party week will run from 21st - 27th August. Please don’t post anything until then.

Prizes: 

Everyone who posts a prompt for all seven days of the OQ Prompt Party week will be sent a limited edition, one of a kind Outlaw Queen button/badge. These will never be available again, so don’t miss out! 

Each day there will also be the opportunity to win another prize. You will be entered into a prize draw and the more prompts you write, the more times your name will be entered into the draw. I will announce which prizes will be available on each day soon. 

There will also be a separate prize for most prompts included in a single one-shot/chapter (crack!fic encouraged). 

And now! Without further ado, here are your prompts: 

Prompts: 

Friends with benefits

Pride & Prejudice AU with Regina in the role of Mr. Darcy

Hospital AU with Regina as the Chief of cardio (nicknamed ‘The Evil Queen’, work addicted, hates everyone, on call room = sex) and Robin as a Nurse (follows the rules, has a crush on Regina, makes out with her in the on call room, lives in campervan in the forest) 

DarkOQ go to New York (aka real World) for their honeymoon and then stops by Storybrooke to check on Regina.

Regina kidnaps Robin to prevent him from marrying Marian.

Regina finds out her fiancé (can be any ouat character) has been cheating on her with her sister on her wedding day! She runs away to a different city or county & meets Robin.

Regina meets her soul mate online.  But is reluctant to meet Robin in person for fear of ruining what they already have.  Will Robin be able to change her mind? And what happens when her friends try to force her hand?

Robin, Regina and the Evil Queen... perhaps maybe Robin meets one, then meets the other... doesn't quite realise straightaway... ooh they could be twins!

Regina as a headmistress and Robin being a billionaire whose son Roland, goes to the school where Regina is the boss.

Robin being Regina's personal trainer, because Regina wants to work out before her wedding but we all know that wedding won't happen now that they met.

Regina mothering Roland (it'd be awesome if Robin witnessed at least a part of the scene)

Robin actually dies in 5x02 and after seeing Robin getting taken to the underworld Regina chooses to follow. It's the author's choice whether she goes alone or with the storybrooke clan.

Regina owns a Dessous boutique and Robin comes in quite often to buy stuff for his imaginary girlfriend in Regina's sizes and her taste because he just wants to talk to her and work up the courage to ask her on a date but Regina thinks him weird bc why would he flirt with her and buy all this shit for his girlfriend. Later she finds all the unopened bags with stuff in his apartment.

Wonder Woman scene at the healing lake thingy. Regina sees a (naked) man for the first time.

"you can't just run around and threaten to kill everyone." "Oh but you never told me that so how would I know?"

Dark Robin contacts Regina when he doesn't know how to deal with the EQ after a particular fight.

Ink Heart AU Whenever Regina reads a story out loud, characters come to life. She vows never to read out loud again.  One day she comes home to find Robin Hood in her son's room. Henry confesses that he shares her strange gift.

"The poor guy at table 4 has almost ordered the whole menu just so he can look at you and you didn't even give him a smile. How about when you slip him your number instead of ask what dessert he wants."

Troy AU (Robin as Achilles and Regina as Briseis, evtl. Hook as Paris and Emma as Helena) when her temple is plundered Robin saves priestess Regina from the hands of the Spartan men.

Roland spills something over himself in Regina's vault and now any time he lies he turns further into a donkey (like in Pinocchio).

(early OQ) Regina comes home and finds the television is dead because it has tons of arrows sticking out. "What on earth did the poor TV do to you?!"

Missing Year body swap AU with Regina and Robin

Homeless AU "You gave me a dollar every day for three years and now I had a bit of luck, I have a job and I really want to pay you back."

"have you by any chance seen my vibrator?" "What's that?" *Explanation* "Ooooh, that thing. Yes, used it to fix the ____."

Regina and Robin meet Daniel/Marian in the Underworld

Cora didn't get the sheriff but the real Robin on Regina's birthday.

Regina meets the baby of DarkOQ for the first time

It's cold and OQ share a blanket

OQ's first camping trip with the kids and Regina turns out to be a natural at _______.

Robin isn't really dead, he's caught in the book of "Adventures of Robin Hood" and tries to get (a message) back to Regina.

Henry decides to throw the author's rules over board and rewrites his mom's happy ending.

It's Regina's first bday after Henry is gone and she feels lonely. The doorbell rings and a little Roland is waiting there with a half eaten cupcake for her (ofc he says it wasn't him, but the icing on his cheeks says it all).

OQ go skinny dipping in the water and when they come out someone stole their clothes.

After missing year just after curse broke. Regina asks Robin to pick up some tampons for her from the store. It turns into quite an adventure because Robin doesn't know what they are.

AU A: "sorry you're sitting on my sun lounger. B: oh and since when is it yours?" A: I clearly reserved it before breakfast with my towel - which by the way you're sitting on! so get your butt off my sun lounger or else."

Robin spills a drink on Regina.

Your OTP is covering up a murder.

Robin doesn’t die instead is resurrected somehow and in NYC as a dark Robin. Things from the finale happen. Regina kills the EQ but she doesn’t die because her soul is tethered to Robin or something like  that. EQ and evil Robin find each other. Regina has to find a way to kill EQ or reunite with her and save Robin from the darkness.

Robin dies or so they believe, but in actuality a villain has given Robin a memory curse and he remembers nothing of his life with Regina. Regina helps him remember.

Regina and Robin go look for Daniel’s grave and they happen to find  both his and Marian’s stone. Both tipped over and Regina and Robin  share an emotional moment.

Groundhog Day AU with OQ.

A fic based on the movie Sabrina.

Regina drunkenly confesses to Robin about the lion tattoo and pixie dust. Robin misunderstands and thinks she doesn't want him around her

Regina picks up the newest book by her favorite writer. Another best  seller that she can’t get enough of. What she doesn’t realize is that  the heroine from those books is inspired by her and the books were  written by her sweet, handsome but oh so shy (at least in RL) neighbor  Robin.

Regina and Marian are single moms, neighbors and best friends. When Marian dies she leaves Roland in Regina’s care. A  few months later Robin moves in next door. While unpacking his things  he discovers a picture of a very pregnant Marian and remembers their  night together before leaving for England. There is a date on the back  of the photo and he does the math. He is a father and his son is closer  than he thinks.

Through a glitch in the system (or was it?) two strangers find  themselves married to each other. (somewhat inspired by the movie  Accidental Husband).

Regina’s house/apartment is on fire. Lt. Robin Locksley and his  men save her and Henry. She goes over to the firehouse to thank them  properly and ends up inviting Robin for dinner.

Robin as gladiator and Regina as his domina. (pure smut)

Robin proposes to Regina with a little bit of help from the Storybook and Henry.

The smuttiest smut you’ve ever written in your life.

Robin is taking dancing lessons to surprise Regina on their first  wedding anniversary (since their wedding dance ended in a disaster when  he broke her toe) and Regina thinks he is cheating. She even follows him  with Tinkerbell to find out with who.

Robin and Regina are roommates. Robin accidentally walks in on her getting out of the shower. Regina returns the favor.

Regina drags Robin along with her for a little shopping. Their last  stop is Victoria’s Secret and things get “hot and steamy” in the changing room.

Regina and Robin are  single parents (Henry and Roland are the same age and go to class  together) and have clashed a couple of times during parent/school  meetings. She thinks he is immature and irresponsible. He thinks she is  overprotective and overbearing. A school camping trip comes up and  both go as chaperons (not their idea). Henry and Robin bond and so do  Roland and Regina and they both start seeing each other in a new light.

Regina as a soldier. She comes home from her second tour in Iraq. She  is not the same woman she used to be after all the things she has seen  and  all the things she has done. She wants to get her life back on track.  Along the way, she meets Robin who is battling his own demons and  understands her better than she thinks.

Robin trying to stop EQ!Regina like Xander did with Dark Willow on BTVS.

Robin picks up a hitchhiker named Regina. Things get interesting while on the road.

Henry and Roland are friends (they are about 10 years old). Roland  really likes Henry’s mom Regina and Henry thinks Roland’s dad Robin is  pretty cool. They decide to play cupid.

Henry makes sure that  several things in his house break and Robin (a handyman) has to come and  fix them. Hopefully, his mom’s broken heart as well.

Regina,  single mom, mayor and workaholic is in desperate need of a new housekeeper/nanny after Henry has scared off yet another one. Robin,  widower and single dad who’s life has not been easy after losing Marian  is in desperate need of a new job and home for him and his son Roland.

After a blackout, heavily pregnant Regina ends up stuck in an elevator  (or another place, whichever you prefer) with a stranger. Unfortunately,  her water breaks and Robin has to help her deliver her baby.

Regina is Mary Margaret’s childhood friend and maid of honor. Robin is  David’s best friend from college and best man. The first meeting  between the couple’s best friends doesn’t go as planned and ends in a  disaster with a very upset MM and a disappointed David. Regina and Robin  are forced to put their differences aside to ensure a happy wedding day  for their friends.(If there is a part with them having to take dance  lessons and things heat up during that I won't be sad.)

Regina and Robin as thieves: It is the 3rd time he had outsmarted her and stolen from right under  her nose. Only this time he is a bit careless with his disguise (at  least that’s what she thinks) and she manages to see the lion tattoo on  his right arm which helps her track him down. Her plan is to steal  everything back from him. His plan is to steal one last thing from her:  her heart.

Robin, a single dad, saves Henry from being run over by a car, but gets hit himself in the process.  Regina is so grateful she helps him and Roland while Robin heals.

Robin is a disgruntled former employee of Cora Mills who, in a moment of desperation, kidnaps Coras daughter, Regina.

Robin, somewhat of a ladies man, gets the shock of his life when a  social worker hands him a baby boy, telling him that his mother had died  and that she wanted the baby’s father to take care of him. Robin doesn’t know what to do and asks his neighbor Regina for help.Regina  is reluctant at first. She doesn’t like him. Thanks to him Henry has witnessed his conquests walks of shame on a regular basis which always led to awkward questions.

Robin can’t explain the feelings he has for Regina. One night he  overhears a very drunk Regina and Tinkerbell (Tink already knows that  it’s Robin and drops a few hints without giving him away) talking about  the man with the lion tattoo and it all starts making sense.

Robin cuts in line at the supermarket. Regina is not having it.

Robin is so used to sleeping in the forest he won't fall asleep in houses etc because of the missing forest noises (birds, frogs...)

instead of Neal, Pan's shadow Robin and Roland to Neverland.

Author Henry by accidentally mixes up some of his comics with the stories he's supposed to be writing down. ... therefore somehow Regina and Robin trade places with some comic book characters.

Regina used to be a teen Popstar, now a few decades have passed. Life has happened etc and she's asked to be back on stage for a show to celebrate the decade she's been famous in. They want her to share the stage though with a few men who used to the British boyband "The Merry Men"

AU based on the film "one fine day"

Enchanted Forest, s3, OQ secret candlelight dinner.

David, Killian and Robin talking about things from the land without magic with King Arthur (and Merlin). Gadgets, things that vibrate (including sex toys and phones), birth control, underwear…

Robin asking Regina what certain things are (for) after having been to the store/supermarket/pharmacy like roller skates and birth control.

Robin is a wedding planner. Regina is divorce lawyer.

Robin and Regina are actors in the same movie or tv-show who are in denial about being in love with each other. Their friends on set try to trick them into discovering their feelings

OQ’s first baby.

Robin is a counselor/psychologist who helps people with anger management. Regina is a particularly difficult patient of his.  they both develop feelings for one another.

Roland looses his first tooth

Robin teaches Regina how to shoot an arrow.

Regina teaches Robin how to ride (assuming he doesn't know how to)

Robin meets Cora/Henry in the underworld

Regina tells Robin that she's infertile.

Roland and Henry prepare a surprise birthday party for Regina.

Roland’s first tantrum with Regina

Roland can't sleep so he sneaks in Henry’s bedroom. When Regina and Robin wake up, they find a fort has been built in Henry’s room and the two boys sleeping soundly.

Just like she did with Henry when he was younger, Regina shows Roland how to garden and he insists in having his own plant to take care of.

Henry and Robin spend a day/afternoon/or/night alone for the first time.

Robin asks Henry to be his best man

Regina asks Roland to be his flower boy

Regina is sick, her men take care of her

Family vacation/road trip

Roland is scared of something (darkness, or whatever) and he is ashamed. Henry tells him that until this day he is still scared of (insert something)

Regina snores while sleeping with Robin.

Robin doesn't know how to work a toaster.

Robin tries to steal Regina’s cab.

Sex goes horribly wrong and they laugh about it

Roland loses Robin's bow

Kissing in the rain

Modern day AU where they are cosplayers and meet at a Comic Con

Roland wants to be the evil queen for Halloween

Sex on the kitchen table

Robin accidentally gets Regina the flowers she hates most.

Robin is allergic to something and Regina accidentally feeds it to him.

Robin and Roland miss Regina and video call her.

Regina takes Robin and Roland to the beach for the very first time.

Henry decides he wants to be a vegetarian so Regina and Robin follow suit as moral support, but they're secretly sneaking bacon, chicken wings and pepperoni pizza into their room.

Regina and Robin talking over what Zelena did to him.

Robin and Regina putting her heart back in after Zelena took it for her spell.

Regina remembering Robin is still chained to a tree after the shattered sight spell is over.

Regina and Robin take roland for ice cream for the first time (Roland being introduced to her). Leading to the scene we saw of them walking hand in hand, on the way to grannies.

Missing year: Snow ships oq! And however that manifests, maybe Regina realised she's been trying to match make with the two of them? Snow goes to Robin to talk about Regina cos she's worried?

Regina thinks Robin may be cheating on her with his ex Marian... until they introduce her to Mulan, her girlfriend.

Party of Five AU. Henry has to take care of the Hood-Mills kids after OQ dies.

Canon divergent oneshot where Robin crashes Regina's wedding hoping to steal some jewels and fancy plates but ends up stealing her instead.

Roland finds two kittens, they love Regina the most.

A walk in the woods / on the beach.

Cuddling during a flight.

Robin & Regina hide the dagger…

Robin is a comic-strip artist and an owner of comic book store. He creates a new super heroine inspired by his favorite customer Regina, who he admires from afar.

How the EQ responds to Robins proposal/first time they see each other after the arrow.

D!OQ first kiss.

D!OQ stealing from the rich together so kinda bandit EQ.

Robins birthday....Regina bakes him a cake and probably has some other surprises for him!!

Regina asking Robin to move in with her.

How S3 should have ended...no Marion coming back nonsense. Them having a nice family dinner at granny's and Regina asking Robin if he wanted to go home with her,for their first night together.

Any domestic OQ kitchen chores with Regina in one of Robins shirts.

Them having a conversation about her cutting her hair, why did she do it, him running his fingers through it.

Henry catching them in a compromising position somewhere.

Regina watching Robin sleep the morning after the vault before she gets up and dressed.

A lot more vault blanks filled in. Did she question/was there any conversation after the initial kiss? Where'd they go? What exactly happened?

Regina having a hard time on Roland's first day of school.

Any and all oq wedding scenarios.

Robin seeing Marion in the underworld (or getting to do anything in the underworld).

Jealous Robin in Camelot.

Hogwarts AU where Robin is the Gryffindor Guy who falls for the Slytherin girl Regina.

Regina and Roland use magic mirrors as walkie talkies.

Robin is called to the principal's office after Roland gets in a fight with a kid who said mean things about Regina.

Sliding Doors AU.

Roland opens a lemonade stand.

Robin has to sub in for Regina at a Parent Teachers Association meeting for school.

Robin discovers bacon. (bonus points for sexy kitchen shenanigans)

Henry protects Roland from bullies.

Regina is bad at camping but then saves Roland from bears.

Robin and Regina watch Game of Thrones together. Robin thinks Regina would have given Cersei a run for her money. Also Regina's dragon is cooler than Dany's dragons.

The Notebook AU

Dark OQ masquerading as real OQ.

Regina gets drunk and wanders into Robin's camp late at night...either to yell at him, or fuck him (or both).  she ends up breaking his tent.

Regina owns a bar and Robin is a regular who has a secret crush on her.

Robin and Regina meet at a singles vacation resort, have a blast together, and agree not to see each other when vacation is over.  But then someone breaks that agreement....

Bandit!Regina and Robin get captured by Nottingham and have to find a way to get out of the cell.

Wish Nottingham also comes over to the Enchanted Forest with Wish!Robin and The Evil Queen.

Regina and Robin meet at the principals office after their children are caught fighting.

Robin has amnesia.  He falls in love with his Regina, his doctor.

Regina and Wish!Robin get married in the EF.

Despite cursing herself with infertility, Regina becomes pregnant.  She talks to Robin about her confusion as to what this means.

Regina and Robin meet at a grief counseling session.

Blind date.

Regina or Robin suffers a sex related injury.

Regina's hair is curly and Robin likes.

Henry asks Robin for advice on girls.

Roland tells Regina that he is scared that someone will take his papa away.

Roland asks Regina to be his mother for "Bring Your Mom To School Day"

Regina enchants Roland's birthday cake so whatever he wishes for comes true.

Skype sex.

Regina and Robin meet in a club.  There's instant attraction and smut ensues.

Henry is a child actor who gets fired by some douchey TV producers, Regina and Robin comfort him.

Henry and Roland have their first fight.

Regina gets hit by a car and Robin is a good samaritan who helps her.

Missing year. A drunken Regina confesses her attraction to Robin.

Robin gets drunk and tells John he thinks he's falling in love with the evil queen.

MissingYear sick!Regina with Robin taking care of her.

s7 setting, cursed Robin (with another name), Seattle university professor, goes out for a drink after a rough day at a bar he usually avoids as he knows many of his students frequent there, making eyes to the 'zesty and feisty' bar owner. When he meets her, he understands why... What he doesn't understand is why his heart flutters the moment she speaks to him nor does she get why a strange tattoo on his arm seems strangely familiar.

Based on BBC's Sherlock, Regina as Irene Adler and Robin as Sherlock Holmes, but with their own unique touch to it... What happens when insane consulting criminal Gold hires a well known dominatrix to take out the world's most genius detective? How does her mind that matches his own manage to make him feel something he had never felt before???

He's a loner, willingly avoiding human contact and emotional connection after the unexpected loss of his wife (and child... I know I'm bad). He's given an AI program that talks to him as if it were a real person. Her voice intrigues him, her responses are clever and witty... She sounds so real.... If only she were. Is she?

Just Like Heaven au. He's in a coma. She's moving in to his apartment, but his spirit seems to have other ideas. How can they coexist? And can she bring him back?

Henry jumps from realm to realm searching for Robin's soul. When he crashes Cinderella's carriage, he discovers this new realm hides way more surprises than he thought... Like exiled souls that search for a way back.

Bandit Regina gets arrested under Prince John's command... Funnily enough someone she considered her rival occupies the cell right next to hers. Can they work together to escape? Can they trust each other with their freedom and life?

Grown up (and quite magical) Robyn discovers the truth about her conception and the unfair loss of her father... Needless to say, she holds a huge grudge, but when she faces Regina about it, she discovers how deeply her aunt has been hurt over that loss and how she hid her pain all those years…

After Robyn searches for her brother, the two share a talk about their past, their father and Regina.... She listens from afar, tears running down her face, as she recalls so many moments in which she felt she'd be truly happy like she always planned with him... Funnily enough, he listens too.. And makes sure she knows he does. And that his children do too.

House MD AU. She's his boss, he's a smart pain in the ass yet the most brilliant mind she has in her hospital... And one of her oldest acquaintances as well. When she searches for a way to have a child and tries in vitro... He's the only one she trusts with the injections... But he objects to her having a child with someone she doesn't know... Will she listen?

Robin meets Regina in Seattle and they fall for each other again not recognizing who the other is. When the curse breaks (and we all bawl our eyes out with them cause they found each other after three billion years) robin reveals he has a huge thing for Regina in curls... After he does, she embraces her natural wave almost permanently.

Outlaw queen adopting a baby

Hood Mills family getting their first pet

Robin telling Regina he can't have children.

Regina coming out as bisexual or pansexual.

Robin proposing to Regina in the forest.

Robin getting his first job in Storybrooke.

Robin coming out as bisexual or pansexual.

Regina teaching Robin how to use modern things.

(AU) Robin didn't die, he ends up in the new town (and is cursed too), meets Regina and he can feel the connection but he can't remember anything. They develop a relationship and break the curse with a true love kiss.

(Young OQ AU) Regina is dating Robin and she can't wait to go to prom with him but something happens and she can't go so Robin organize a romantic dinner in her garden.

Sunday morning breakfast

Dealing with Regina's period [ex. cramps, moodiness, extra horny, etc.]

Midnight snack

Bartender AU [one owns the bar, the other is a bartender, sparks fly, love unfolds, etc.]

Robin & Regina meet & fall in love in their 50's.

“South Pacific" AU.

There are a few prompts for certain writers that I will send out individually.

Video specific prompts:

The Winner Takes It All - Regina, Robin, Zelena/Marian

Bluebird

Sanctuary (Nashville OST)

Uptown Girl

Art specific prompts:

Banner to use for the fic Happiness Can't Be Arranged by grayautumnsky (OQ meets Jane Austen)

WW2 AU by grayautumnsky - Robin is a Nazi soldier during the occupation of France. If this were a manip (doesn't have to be), the pics of Sean from Timeless would be perfect. As for Regina, when I think of her in this fic I always picture the character Sira from The Time In Between (which is set during WW2).

Regina & Robin reading legends about him (a canon scene which we've never seen). And if I can ask for anything else: I'm so weak for DimplesQueen, I'd love to see a drawing of them&Robin

Robin & Regina go on vacation. 

So about a month or two ago I started a new job at a game store here in Canada that many people may know. It was EB Games. Now, originally I thought to myself “OMG this is so cool its like a dream come true that I get to work with video games all day every day and so much cool loot and plushes and stuff” But like, I had no idea. I was told about the stats and stuff and warned ahead of time about all the numbers and stuff at the interview but I thought to myself that it couldn’t be THAT bad. I was pretty wrong though. The stats are stressing me out and balancing this new job with my old one at a fast food chain has become so difficult. Not to mention that combined the two jobs are sucking all my free time away at a rapid pace to the point where I’m getting extremely bummed out and have no time to build fursuits, write for NaNoWriMo, draw, or really watch any of the shows I’m passionate about. tbh I don’t even really get the time to read or, and this one feels ironic bc of the second job, play video games. Apparently my boyfriend even noticed how insanely bummed out all this was making me and has since helped me write my letter of resignation because my FOOD SERVICE job was easier to handle, gave me more hours, and paid better. so the kicker here is that I’m dumping what 10 yr old me would’ve dreamed of to be essentially a fry cook. Bc apparently its better for me and I can actually do the things I love. This isn’t to say the company is bad or anything, I have tons of respect for them from all I’ve learned about them in my short time working there (plus the cool prizes I’ve seen for excellence at the stores, dang man. I don’t think I’m allowed to go into detail, but its pretty neat how many rewards companies give you just for being passionate about their stuff.) It just isn’t for me. The individual stat measures stress me out insanely and honestly, (It isnt the case this is just how I feel) it feels like we are pressured to work as though we are being paid on commission when we aren’t.

And ngl, video game fans can be very difficult to deal with sometimes (no offence).

Plus I had a child once come in treating his dad like absolute shit and calling every suggestion his dad offered “retarded” bc it was his birthday and he wasn’t getting everything he wanted and tbh I’d really rather not deal with it.

I took on the cook position at my other job to avoid customer tbh and it seems to be going significantly better with no real foreseeable risks in the future bc cooks are so valuable there. plus like, I get to listen to tunes while I work and ngl, that makes everything better. Plus being a furry there is less of a big deal to my coworkers and tbh I’m sick of the jokes at my other job bc of a hobby I have. (And yeah I could just tell them to stop at my other job and they’ve said they would if it bothered me but like, theres a lot of factors adding up to make resigning feel like the best option for me.)

Robster, the early years.

Our 2 year anniversary just passed and I thought it would be nice to reflect on how God brought us together, bc it truly was a gift of His timing and preparation of each of our hearts until we met that made us a good match. 

It's come to my attention that I know quite a few couples who are success stories from CMB- Coffee Meets Bagel. If you have yet to hear of it, It's a Facebook app that uses your network of friends to match you with people that are just out of your immediate pool of friends. Typically this avoids awkward dates with your current single friends that you have no desire to date.  I didn't know much about the app prior to using it, and my decision to get on it was somewhat of a dramatic one. I'm writing this without giving you much of a back story to the relationship between me and my parents. If this is the first story you are reading, then don't be misled by their panic and craziness here as it pertains to my dating life- or lack thereof.  They are caring, God-loving, I will take a bullet for you type of people who pray for a living- and bear much fruit. I wouldn't be who am I am without them. But.. that's not to say that we didn't butt heads- particularly about this part of my life. 

April, 2014... I turned 29. Which to my Korean parents meant the alarm went off on my expiration date for marriage- ability. I totally understood why they were concerned- I spent the majority of my time at work or at church- a pool that was not viable for me in terms of dating. LOL. though I did try. Well after many fiery phone conversations- my refusal to start courting a Korean doctor caused an ultimatum. If I wasn't willing to date this guy, who was long distance, whom I had already met and knew it wasn't a match, AND who they knew little to nothing about aside from his parents- then I HAD to agree to go on a dating website.

 Enter CMB!!!

 It was free and seemed the least scary out of all the other options. They agreed, but only if after one month of this seemingly cheap free site, I joined a paid site if I hadn't met anyone yet. 

Anyways, Rob and I were matched on CMB on June 12, 2014. I remember seeing Rob's profile- at first glance these were a few of my thoughts. 1. He's white. 2. His job title is in Korean. 3. That's weird. 4. Why does this white guy write in Korean? 5. He looks smart. 6. He plays guitar. 7. There is literally nothing about running on here. 8. Oh shoot, he's younger than me...

I think every girl out there may have a couple of things in mind when they are thinking about their future husband. We’ll call them preferences...

I just had a few things I thought would be nice: my age or older, likes to run, loves Jesus- in reverse order of importance. But other than that I wasn't too picky- after all as it had been pointed out to me several times- I was 29... Actually a week before that an older sister of mine had taken me aside to somewhat rebuke me about the way I was boxing in some of the younger brothers in my life. She basically said, cut out those notions of what you think is necessary in a husband and be open to what God has in store. For me that could only allude to- hey be open to younger, non-running, Jesus-lovers. And LO and BEHOLD, Rob appears mere days later- and I think that was God's way of opening my heart to a man that maybe I hadn't pictured but a man that He had planned just for me.

2 FROGS, 1 PRINCE (not in that order)

I met three guys on CMB- one black, one korean, one white. How diverse right? 

After joining in May-ish- I got my first match. He was lawyer, he was into Ballroom dancing; he seemed nice albeit a bit serious. There was another weird connection in that he was someone one of my patients had offered to set me up with previously and we didn't realize this until after the failed first date- but let's just say it was a good depiction of how on-line dating can go. We got ice cream- it was extremely hot outside. We ate outside where it was sweltering. There was a lack of chemistry, he had a sneeze attack... at one point he asked me my favorite color...  after 40 minutes, I said I had to meet up with some friends in Chinatown and sca-daddled out of there. We never spoke again.

I was matched with Rob next- and after our match- we became FB friends and had our first 2 hours chat-a-thon on messenger that night. We found out we both had done missions in Haiti, both on praise team. He served in a korean church- my dad is a Korean pastor. He's in seminary to become a pastor. We both spoke French (him much better than me). We both had a heart for missions in general... it was in his words- “trop bizarre....” The next day we progressed to a phone chat on his drive to Brooklyn from Philly. A longer phone chat the next day. Then a 2 hour video chat the next day. We seemed to be clicking from the get-go. Th real test would be meeting each other in person- we scheduled that for Tuesday June 17. We had started texting and it was fun to see his name pop up on my screen. Classic- beginning of a relationship jitters, excitement, and curiosity all wrapped up in one.

Literally the day that Rob and I were supposed to meet, I actually got another match. That's the thing about on-line dating that can be tough. You are encouraged to date and pursue multiple people which I guess is efficient and makes sense, right? This 3rd guy was basically all the things that I thought were “missing” in Rob... isn't God funny that way? He was Korean. He was in finance vs. ministry which is a lot more stable. Most of his pics were in races- running. He was my age. ... I was like God is this a joke? After talking to a few people about it, I decided ya know what? I have to meet this guy too. No matter how my date goes with Rob, this will just give me more info. So for 2 CRAZY days, I talked to both of them. I honestly think this third match was God's way of reminding me that His plan is better. Yes on paper this guy may make more sense.. but in every way... Rob was actually the better God-given match for me. 

So...finally- OUR FIRST DATE!

I asked to meet at Chapterhouse which was about 2 blocks away from my apartment at the time. It was a blazing 95 degrees that day and me in my smart- only if it's opposite day- thinking was like OH i'm gonna go on a run! silly me who did not time it right- my body was still thermo-regulating post shower and couldn't stop sweating. That 2 block walk washed off the make up I tried to apply- if you know me I don't wear the stuff so that was tough. I even stopped at the Starbucks 1/2 block away to look in the mirror and see if my mascara had run down my face and if my sweat was visible... After a few minutes of deep breathing in the air-conditioned bathroom, I walked up the street. There he was... standing in front of the house des Chapitres... 

My first thoughts: Crap- He's skinnier than me. His hair is so... fluffy... and his face is... nice :) . We got inside- and chose our drinks before sitting. He did NOT pay for me.. which to others may have been a turn off but because of our previous convos about his frugality I didn't take offense to. We started talking about.. everything. He told me things about his family that were not "first date" topics... and as he was talking I found myself asking... “If I let myself- could I fall for this guy?” and the answer? YES! 

I couldn't help but but think Yes- as I looked at his face telling me some animated story about ministry... that yes this could be a guy that I could fall for. FYI- guys out there- yes most of us girls ask this kind of big picture questions as early as the first date. It's just how our brains work. If we can't picture a future- then for us that's a big reg flag. Don't worry most of us have not problem imagining quite a bit even from the first date

We spent 2 hours talking non-stop, and walked out saying we were excited to see each other again. The rest is history. Which I will go into more stories later for those of you curious enough to read on.

Rob and my match, though facilitated by a dating app was in God’s absolutely perfect timing. All those years I waited- impatiently- for this guy to waltz into my life... it could not have come sooner because neither of us would have been ready for it. 

Hopefully this will remind some of you single ladies out there- I know how you feel. I waited 29 years for this part of God's plan for my life to unfold. It's not the end all- be all of my life. Nor should it be! But I sure felt like that when I was single. As I watched each of my friends pair up and get married, I felt seriously left behind. My appearance insecurities didn't help that at all... but my single season prepared me to meet this God-loving man that I know is the perfect match for me. I see it everyday in the way Rob loves me, cherishes me, and puts God first. Of course there are hard parts- any married person will tell you that. but rehashing this story reminds me more than ever that God's faithfulness in undeniable and we need to pray for Him to give us more and more faith everyday. Trusting in His plan requires it.

anyways, more stories to come!

i was going to be like 'all of them' but that would be mean so instead im 'just' going to ask for 1, 4, 8, 10, 13, 17, 21, 28, 32, 33, 35, 47, 50,

putting this under a readmore bc meander!!! you spoil me

01: When did you first start writing?      okay i actually am gonna give you two answers to this question bc i feel like i started writing at two periods in my life. the first time i actually started writing was in third grade because i had like. the BEST third grade teacher, he was awesome and in my eyes was like, the best artist i had ever met just bc he had a basic grasp of how to draw shit and i absolutely didn’t and still don’t, every time teachers tell me to draw things for an assignment i lose ten years off my lifespan but anyways!! off topic. he really encouraged creativity and i was in a class with one of my friends, his name was like john or michael or something, and i would write and he would illustrate (i thought he was the second-best artist i had ever met just bc he also had a basic grasp on drawing and i still didn’t). i wrote about like. this dog and his name was super yuff and got his powers through lightning that struck him and he just flew around and like. idk he did a lot of shit, i still have the stories i wrote. but like i was DEDICATED to this character and so was my illustrator friend. i remember one weekend i was just sitting on my bed with a bunch of folded up printer paper just writing about this dumb superhero dog that somehow ended up in like the halo universe bc even back then i was obsessed with video games. that was the first thing i actually WROTE.         HOWEVER. after third grade i just took a huge break. like not intentionally, of course. i loved writing but i didn’t know it was my THING yet. i didn’t really have a thing yet, it was only third grade ok. HOWEVER. when i transitioned into middle school that’s when i picked up writing again. i don’t even remember why. all i know was that my dad had bought skyrim and he was playing it and just by watching it i LOVED it. i adored the history behind the game and i just loved the graphics, and when i started playing the game i got HOOKED. stayed up entire nights just doing random side quests for npcs and feeling a huge goddamn hero, let me save this talking dog from the wrath of his daedric master nbd, just doing my job, let me set all these beehives on fire and get mauled by a bear, cool cool. and one day i just? was like wow, why don’t i write a story about it! about my skyrim OC going to solstheim and falling in love with the aloof nd really sarcastic and interesting teldryn sero (who still remains one of my favorite skyrim npcs to this day)!! and i thought i was Hot Shit too, i thought i fucking invented fanfiction. and then i found wattpad and then that was that folks, i got hooked on writing all over again and i still am

04: Have you ever thrown a book across the room?      mmmm not that i can recall? i’m not really a book-thrower, i’m more of a book-holder. like if something really shocking happens in a book i feel like i’d be more likely to hug it close to my chest than throw it08: What’s the best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten?      tbh pretty much everything you’ve told me meander!! i don’t really think i’d be writing that much if not for you. honestly you flatter me on a daily basis with your compliments about my really pretentious use of metaphors in like every single paragraph and basically just with your interest in all of my writing projects even for fandoms you’re not technically in!! i’ve never really been told by anyone that i’ve got a way with words and when you told me that i was like wow!! people actually like the shit i write, that’s cool! that’s real cool my guy10: What’s your biggest writer pet-peeve?      honestly i THRIVE on feedback. i took a huge writing break like a few years ago just because i couldn’t WRITE the way i used to. to just sit down and spew out 5000 word chapters on a whim wasn’t something i could feasibly DO anymore. i thought i lost my touch or something but it was honestly just because i didn’t get enough feedback. again shout out to u meander because you legit FLOODED me with feedback on like. everything. i’m still over the moon about half the shit you’ve told me like a year ago. tbh half the reason i yell in the tags is because creators read the tags!! they really do!! so i wanna leave some positive feedback for them because i want them to know that i liked whatever it was that they made!!

13: What’s your favorite writing quote?       it’s not really a writing quote but!! “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” -C.S. Lewis21: Do you outline?      i honestly burst out laughing when i saw this question, i do not in any way whatsoever outline anything bc apparently i hate myself. ok the last time i outlined a story was like four years ago and it worked…. really well…… so for some reason i was like wow how about we not make our lives easier. no outlining our fics we ruin our own writing projects like men

28: Which do you find hardest: the beginning, the middle, or the end?      everything, everything is hard, i can’t write in a linear fashion. nah but tbh i feel like it’s the middle? like what do you even do. what is the middle all about. i’ve never met her32: How do you feel about friends and close relatives reading your work?      ABSOLUTELY NOT. get them away. i am very protective of my writing bc it’s personal to me. like i don’t want y’all reading my shit and then going up to me in real life thinking you know all my secrets bc if u read my shit you WILL know all my secrets, i painstakingly pour my heart into everything i write because in everything i do, i try REALLY REALLY hard. if i let u read my writing it’s a show of trust33: Are you interested in having your work published?      in its current state? probably not!! maybe later on down the road would be nice, but i’ve still got a lot to learn //side-eyes all my failed attempts at witty dialogue35: What’s your favorite time of day for writing?      nighttime. like dead of the night, i’m in bed with my phone and should be asleep right now but instead i’m gonna grab my laptop and fucking dump out all the words in my brain onto this word document. other than that i honestly just write during school a lot? like when we get free time i’m either studying for a test or writing.47: If you could steal one character from another author and make then yours, who would it be and why?      i want to take preston garvey out of bethesda’s hands. i’ve fallen in love with him over the course of just writing one scene for his character study. it’s the second-to-last scene (bc i cant write in linear order) and like. gosh. i want him to be my character, he’s so sad but also so optimistic and he tries so hard. ok those kinds of characters are my Type, i love characters who try really hard 

50: If you could live in any fictional world, which would it be?      i’m honestly not really sure? like hardcore i love daydreaming but it’s never about myself doing cool things, it’s about characters doing cool things. i kinda wanna meet an omnic tho, they seem really chill. maybe like live in falkreath? it’s really chill and pretty there and the mountains are really looming and i like that. imagine meeting the dragonborn and they buy out your entire store and then just leave. thats fucking crazy my guy

Survey #42

“i don’t ask much, i just want you.”

have you ever been to the white house?   no, i haven't. what are your plans for tomorrow?   not shit.  like always.  maybe be able to adopt my snake. do you have a debit card?   no why did you stop working at the last place you were employed?   i kept having anxiety attacks that induced vomiting. have you ever made out with a complete stranger?   no...? what would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child?   probably kill myself. are you very close to your siblings?   no would you kiss the last person you kissed again?   i'd love to. what bugged you about the last person you dated?   well i know now that he's not very understanding.  but he tried to be. have you ever slapped someone, why?   i hit my sister when i was little.  don't remember why. have you ever had sex with someone the same night you met them?   no, because i'm not a whore. if you could fly or breathe underwater, what would you choose?   the latter, i think. is your life the same as it was a year ago?   exactly the fucking same. are you in love with someone?   should be obvious enough. what is your relationship status? are you happy with that?   single, and no.  i'm lonely as fuck. have you ever thought you could do a better job at being president?   hell no. when people smoke around you, does it make you cough?   sometimes.  it'll always give me a headache. would you rather name your child michelle or monica?   michelle do you know anyone who works at mcdonald’s?   no have you ever felt like you lost a part of yourself?   i KNOW i fucking have.  when jason left, it was like the majority of me fucked off. have you ever suspected your mom or dad of having an affair?   no. when you younger and misbehaved, what did your parents threaten you with?   mom would threaten to spank me or take away computer privileges do you think it’s weird how babies are made?   i mean yeah, i guess, but it is what it is. how would you react if your last ex wanted to get back together?   i would just... fuck, man.  i'd be so damn happy. are you comfortable in a short skirt?   fuck no. do you and your family go on a vacation every year?   no.  we never do. when you were going out with your last ex and you had the chance to date your celebrity crush, would you have left your bf/gf for them?   absolutely not.  i don't care who my celeb crush is, no one lights a candle to jason. does your dad swear?   yeah if your last kiss asked you on a date, what would you say?   absofuckinglutely!!! do you think braces are sexy?   does anybody, really?  it's just something you tolerate.  i don't think anyone's "sexy quotient" is affected by whether or not she/he wears braces. do you know anyone that is gothic?   i'd love to be a goth if i could afford the wardrobe. how many coats of mascara do you use?   like two what were you almost named?   kathryn does your family hire someone to do your chores for you?   no do you know how to use photoshop?   very vaguely how about sony vegas?   yeah what is the main reason you want to have children when you grow up?   idk, i just... do?  when i was with jason, i wanted children because i loved him so much and thus human instinct would have it i wanted his kids, but now that i'm with nobody idk, i just want kids one day.  i guess. what do you struggle with?  depression, anxiety, ptsd, bipolarity, no job, no money...  i struggle with everything. are you self conscious?  VERY what is the name on your birth certificate (feel free to withhold your last name for privacy reasons)?   brittany marie is all you need to know. what day did you take your first breath?   february 5th, 1996 what are the names of the lovely individuals that brought you into this world?   donna and ken. the stereotyped image of a girl LOVES to shop. does this hold true to you?   i like to shop only if it's for myself.  i know that sounds greedy, but i just like... don't get the pleasure sensation otherwise. even if shopping isn’t your favorite... every girl has a favorite store. what’s yours?   hottopic which type of undies do you wear most: Thongs, bikini/briefs, bootyshorts, or granny panties?   if i wear underwear, bikini. describe your style for me, using minimal words?   comfortable do you have a walk in closet? do you even have a closet it all?   no, yes. tampons or pads? why?   tampons, because i don't like feeling like wearing a bloody diaper. do you ever pamper yourself? what do you do?   no, because i'm fucking poor. do you like surprises?   no.  i get scared of what it is. how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?   none. when is the last time you watched a hockey game?   yearrrrssss ago. ever been paid for sex or a sexual favor?   nope. have you ever been to a strip club?  no, and i never will. do you listen to a variety of music, or do you tend to stick to one genre?   i stick to a genre.  metal. when you’re going to be at home all day, do you bother to get out of your pajamas?   no.  which is like every day. do you play angry birds?   no.  i just recently saw the movie tho and it was super cute. what do you have pierced on you?   ears, nose. what’s important about april?   my little sister's birthday is there anyone who hates you?   probably if I say “psycho”, who is the first person that comes to your mind?   me dated someone more than once?   no where did you get the last shirt you were wearing?   hottopic does your mom know your deepest darkest secrets?   no. are you scared of needles?   nah, not really. do you know what an ‘amv’ is?   yeah, i make them sometimes. how many songs are on your ipod/mp3 player?   over 1,000 are there any orange clocks in your house?   no do mice freak you out?  not at all. how many formal dances did you or have you gone to in high school?   i went to two proms. is there a certain movie you always cry at when you watch it?   yeah, "the notebook" tears me up everytime. are any of your siblings married?  yeah do you like kiwi?   hell yes. ever go ghost hunting?   no when it’s time to dress up for a special occasion, are you more likely to wear a dress, a skirt, or dress pants?   dress if you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? what is your favorite flavor?   milk, bc i dislike its flavor when i add water.  my fave's apples and cinnamon. if you could only own a hair dryer, curling iron, or straightener, which one would you choose?   straightener if you’re straight, have you ever thought about kissing the same sex? if you’re gay, have you ever thought about kissing the opposite sex?   no. your last relationship, who dumped who?   he dumped me. do you believe in love at first sight? explain.   no, because even thinking it's possible to look at someone and love them is ignorant as fuck. do you keep a planner?   no, because i don't need one.  i don't do anything significant, ever. do you want kids anytime soon?   no. are you excited for next year?   not really.  new years doesn't mean anything.  what occurs in time isn't affected by one year suddenly ending and changing into another.  2017 will be just as bad as 2016, probably. do you know any german words?   i took four classes of it, i know plenty. do you say any words that are pretty specific to your area?   no have you ever smoked?   nope can you make yourself cry?  no. have you ever held a starfish?   i don't think so. would you rather live in hawaii or alaska?   alaska could you use a haircut?   totally what do you put on your scrapes or cuts?   usually, nothing.  sometimes a band-aid. do you like cheez-its or cheese nips better?   cheez-its by a long shot. have you ever held a snake?   yes.  i hope to again very soon<3 do you know anyone from canada?   yeah, jacob's ex.  nice girl. has a wild animal ever been loose in your house?   mice are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound?   naw, shit's cool. have you ever met an alaskan?   only online.  my friend mikaela's alaskan. did you ever play spyro?   lmao.  i'd STILL be playing it if i had my ps2. have you ever had a near death experience?   car wreck, yeah. do you think some babies are ugly?   some definitely are. do you love stuff crusted pizza?   no, actually. do you apply lotion after you bathe?   no, but i REALLY should. has a youtube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views?  nah son. would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone?   ha ha, i already do. do gangs scare you?   of course they do.  the bloods tried to break into our house once when ashley was home alone with maddie. what do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public?   i don't care how big your boobs are, if your breasts are developed, wear a bra, please.  it's only to be decent. does your best friend wear makeup?   she rarely does. do you prefer to fix the problems or just end the relationship?   be a fucking adult and fix the damn problems. would you rather have donuts or donut holes?   donuts do you still watch movies on vhs?   no, mom got rid of ours have you used a ouija board and had a freaky experience with it?   no, never used one. what’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have?   get rid of my depression.  god, please. what “group” did you belong to in high school?   everyone considered me an emo.  guess i was and still am one, i'm so ridiculously emotional. what is the best thing you have done in your life?   dated jason. what is your favorite animal? list three adjectives to explain your choice.   meerkats, as they're very social, ridiculously bold, and curious. what was your nickname growing up?   twinkie if you could be anything in the world, what would you be and why?   a meerkat biologist, because i love meerkats so much and they make me happy. have you ever had feelings for 2 people at the same time?   nope. if you found someone seemingly perfect for you, but it turned out they had a child… would you still give the relationship a chance?   at my age, no. if your best friend of the opposite sex tried to kiss you, would you start kissing them back?  probably not, honestly. have you ever kissed someone who has previously kissed someone you hated?   yep do you think the next person you kiss will be a better kisser than the last person you kissed?   HA.  i HIGHLY doubt that.

Soo yesterday i got a job offer from the dean of journalism at my uni and she wanted me to be a discussion leader for freshman and i accepted, thinking that that would satisfying my nagging parents who have been worried about paying for college. i told my dad this morning what time i was assigned so he would know my schedule. THEN somehow that led to him saying 'you’ve never had a real job' (apparently this new one or my job as a reporter/free lance writing doesnt count lmao) and basically he put that on me. DESPITE THE FACT they were the ones who pushed me to focus on classes (both during high school and uni) and not both work and school. But now it’s once again on me. 'you cant just sit around on your video games and phone all the time you need a job. i wont have all of these unproductiveness' but guess who’s been the one doing the laundry and cooking dinner bc he doesnt want to have to be bothered when my mom is unavailable for one reason or another? OR who’s the only one that can give fireball his medicine bc he hates my parents bc my dad is too rough and loud and angry for fireball to handle? This semester they pushed me to take more hours since a class got cancelled and (not counting the spring intersession class) im enrolled in like 15-16 hours (counting the intersession would make it 18). Ik they’re stressed bc we dont have a ton of money to blow on college and theyre acting like its my fault i changed from architecture bc now in journalism i could take classes at a community college for close to free but that would put me behind on a lot bc i doubt that community college has what i need to become a journalist. also im already enrolled its really fucking late to be saying this bs now lmao.

To add onto that, my mom has been harassing me all break about washing my hands bc i do it too much in her opinion but my family is so fucking nasty idk how its so weird??? my younger brother always wears athletic pants so they have no pockets so guess where his phone goes??? guess who touches the cat before touching all the food/silverware????? guess who was messing w the nasty trash and then touched all of the inside of my car (that one was my mom not brother). the only thing im doing thats really ‘hurting’ my family w/ it is having red hands from washing them. thats it. she’s repeatedly made fun of me for it, even going as far as to touch my leg while she was driving (this was after the trash incident) after telling me to get over it and when i flinched from her nasty ass hand touching me she got annoyed. and she said ‘but if you dont get exposed to things than you cant build an immunity :)’ fine ill go lick some sick persons ass so i can build an immunity to you guys’ asshole-y ness :)

And my dad is in such a foul mood 24/7 its been stressing me out bc im dealing with him by myself bc my brothers had a shorter break than I did. And lately he’s been on a kick that if i don’t immediately respond in the .00000001 second when he says ‘what do you want?!” then he gets annoyed about how ‘timid’ im being.  He literally makes me so fucking jumping and nervous all the time so i never get it out before he starts harassing me about it so this ended up happening 3 times since break. He did the 3rd time today when i went to tell him bye before he had to leave to go to the store and he had the door closed and he was texting someone and so i didnt want to disturb him but he looked up and saw me and opened the door and said ‘what?! what do you want?!’ and i barely said ‘i just-’ and then he said 'i dont do this timid crap youve been doing lately so just spit it out' and OH BOY DID I WANNA SAY ‘oh i was just going to say go fuck yourself you literal piece of shit <3′