#we NEED to go back. they don’t make them like this anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cheeeeseburger · 2 days

Text

Ilicit affairs

Sergio Perez x Reader

A/N: Hi, I'm not sure about this one! English is not my first language, apologies for the mistakes!

You and Sergio had just gotten into a fight. It was a big one, the kind that left you wanting space from the other. Since the hotel room forced you to be in the same space, you had gotten on a long walk around town. You had time to think, and although it hurt, your choice was made.

As soon as you walked in the hotel room, Sergio got up from where he was sitting on the bed. “Mi pastelito, I was worried you were not going to come back.” He pulled you in his arms. You hugged him back, taking care to note how he smells, the way it feels to be in his arms, how loved you felt. “This was a stupid fight. Let’s forget about it, okay?” he asked while carefully brushing your hair with his fingers. You immediately got teary eyes.

“Sergio, we need to talk.” You pulled his hand, so you were both sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked so concerned that it only made you want to cry harder. “¿Qué pasa?” You took a deep breath before saying out loud something that would break both of your hearts.

“I think we should stop seeing each other. I can’t be your mistress anymore.”

Every single word from those two sentences hurt. You had been his mistress for the last two years, ever since you had fallen for his charms at a GP. Since you were working for an F1 team, you were at all the races, and you and him naturally started and affair. You knew what you two shared wasn’t right, you knew you were the other woman, but you two shared something so special that you ignored all your moral judgement. You just listened to a lot of Lana Del Rey and cried whenever the urge to publicly show off your love was too strong.

Being his lover was a terribly beautiful thing. Nobody on Earth could ever feel as loved as you when you were with Sergio in private. He adored you and worshiped you for your mind, your body, your love. During those moments, you pretended he was your fiancé, your husband, the father of your children. You cosplayed as his wife. But your fantasy was always interrupted. In public, he had his wife and kids, and you stood to the side, pretending your heart was not longing for more, acting like you didn’t even know him. You let guys flirt with you since you were technically single. They all thought you were playing hard to get when you didn’t text them back.

But after two years of this illicit affair, your heart couldn’t take it anymore. The guilt was starting to be overwhelming. You were afraid of confessing everything anytime someone mentioned his name. This wasn’t fair to you or his family, and that’s why you had to stop seeing each other.

“What? Are you serious?” Unfortunately, you were. You batted your eyelashes to chase the tears away. “Sergio, this has been going on for too long. I can’t live with the thought that I’m possibly a homewrecker.” He looked at his ring finger that was always empty whenever you were together.

“Mi pastelito, you’re not a homewrecker, my wife doesn’t know about us, and she will never find out! We don’t have to stop, please don’t make us stop.” He was in agony, truly panicking when he thought about losing you. You caressed his face, trying to comfort him. You needed comforting too. “Baby, you know the truth always comes out, especially with your level of fame. This isn’t fair to your children or your wife. I can’t be the one to ruin your relationship with your family.” A selfish little voice inside of you was screaming at you to ruin his family, make him divorce his wife so he’d finally fully be yours. Mine mine mine mine

“I’ll divorce my wife. My children, they’ll understand. It will be fine!” The selfish voice roared at his words, but the rest of you didn’t. At this point, he was desperate, trying everything to make you stay. “Don’t say that. You don’t mean it. If you divorce your wife to be with me, one day, you will wake up and realize that this was all a mistake, that you should have stayed with her. You’ll start to resent me, I’m sure. I love you too much to let you do that,” you said softly, like you would to a child.

Sergio closed his eyes and let you comfort him. You continued: “I don’t want to be the other woman anymore. I want to be someone’s girlfriend in public, maybe even someone’s wife. I want to kiss you after a race, I want to go out in a restaurant with you, I want the whole world to know we’re in love, but I know you can’t give it to me.”

He immediately protested. “Mi pastelito, that’s what I’m saying! I’ll get a divorce, and I’ll marry you instead. I’ll get you a big diamond ring. We can have a big wedding, so everyone will see. Please, mi amor, give us a chance!”

You gave him a soft kiss. Saying yes would be so easy, and it was everything you wanted. But you could never live with yourself if he let his family down for you. “Baby, it’s okay. It’s all okay. In a few minutes, I’m going to leave this hotel room, and you’ll have to let me go, okay? We will probably see each other at the races, but we will look away and continue walking. The only thing I ask for is that you be the best version of yourself for your wife and your children. Please, work on your marriage, take care of your wife, be the perfect father for your children. You owe me that much.” You were both crying now, realizing that in a few minutes, you would never be in each other’s lives ever again. In a few minutes, you would walk out as a free woman, heartbroken but free, nonetheless.

“I promise. I’ll really try, even though you will always be in my heart. I will always look for you in a crowd, always wish that things had been different. I love you, mi pastelito.” It was his turn to comfort you. He took your hands and gently caressed them.

“I love you too, so much it hurts.” You smiled weakly through the tears. “When I’ll see you with you wife and children, I will be happy. I’ll know that we have done the right things. And when you see me in the paddock with some other guy, you’ll have to be happy, too.” He made a pained face at the last part.

“You know I could never be happy to see you with someone else. You should be with me.” He looked so sad, so hurt.

“Then you know how I have felt for the last two years, whenever I saw you with your wife. That’s why I must go, baby.” You kissed him, and Sergio and you knew it was the last kiss you two would ever share.

It was tender, filled with love and adoration for the other. It tasted like “maybe in another life” and “how come we can’t be together in this one?”. The kiss felt like heartbreak and love at the same time. When you pulled away, the look in his eyes almost crushed you to death. Leaving him was the most difficult thing you had ever done. When you stood up from the bed, he did not let go of your hand. He tried to pull you back, but you stood strong. When he realized you were actually leaving, he kissed your hand and laid his head on your arm. This was the final act of your story. You were the one that got away. If this was a movie, the director would get an Oscar for filmography and another one for screenplay.

He finally let go of you, after what could’ve been minutes or hours. You did not dare to look back as you stepped out of the room, because you knew the look of anguish and despair on his face would be the death of you. When you closed the door, you were not longer a mistress, but a lovesick woman. At least, you were guilt-free. Almost guilt-free.

。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+

The next few weeks were hell. You were missing your lover like crazy, and apparently, so did he, because he had sent multiple texts asking to see you again. Even though the temptation was there, you did not reply to any of his messages. You did read them multiple times and cried a lot over them, but that doesn’t count, right?

The fact that you were working in F1 and attending all the races didn’t help. You wanted to swoon every time you saw Sergio’s face on a poster. On a few occasions you almost ran into him, but you always managed to hide before he could see you. Your heartbeat was so fast and so loud, you swore he would discover you because of it.

To distract you and to respect your part of the deal, you started seeing an engineer. It had been four months since you lost your title of Sergio’s mistress, and when he asked you out, you said yes. He was kind, gentle, and way more into you than you were into him. In other words, he was the perfect rebound.

It was the week of the Australian GP, and the guy who was now your boyfriend took you to a nice restaurant to celebrate your two months. Honestly, things were going great. You were taking things slow with him, and although your stupid heart betrayed you by beating fast every time you saw Sergio, you weren’t nearly as upset as you were three months ago. You felt good about yourself.

You excused yourself to go to the bathroom before dessert. It really was a nice place. You might have had one too many Aperol Spritz, though.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, please excuse me!” You apologized as you ran into a man. When you looked up, it was Mr. Sergio Perez himself, thankfully without Mrs. Perez. That would have been awkward, or at least more awkward than this already was.

“Mi pastelito, it’s you. It’s really you,” was all Sergio said. He wasn’t sure if you were real or not. Perhaps you were cake?

“Hi,” you avoided his gaze and tried to runaway, but he grabbed your arm. His touch immediately took you back to endless illicit nights spend together, where you had to restrain yourself from leaving marks on his body. Instead, he left love bites on yours.

“Are you really going to run away from me? Hide from me once again?” Oh, so he had seen you. Oops.

“Sergio, I don’t think this is a good idea. I’m on a date right now, we’re celebrating our two months” you confessed sheepishly.

He held on to your arm possessively. “Yes, I heard everything about that new boyfriend of yours. Congratulations, I guess.” He pulled you closer to him, so he could whisper in your ear. “But I don’t think you’ve truly moved on. I know I sure as hell haven’t. Mi pastelito, does he know you’ll never love him like you loved me? Like you still love me?” He pulled back then kissed you on each cheek, like you were old acquaintances meeting again. “It was lovely to see you. Have fun on your date, mi amor.”

He left you standing there, in shock and more in love with him than you had ever been. A five-minute interaction with him made you head over heels once again. How cruel was that for you, but also for your new boyfriend. When you went back to your seat, your boyfriend happily informed you that an anonymous gentleman had picked up your tab. You didn’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out who was the mysterious man.

The next morning, you broke up with your boyfriend.

。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜

Oh, you were definitely tipsy. Perhaps even drunk? But that’s the Miami GP afterparties for you!

Hey baby, it’s me!!!!!!!

Sergio jumped when he saw your name pop on his notifications. It was like a siren call he had hoped for in vain since you left him. He replied immediately.

Hello, are you okay mi amor?

Are you alone?

Yes, why?

Can I call you?

“Hello?” Sergio picked up the phone, confused but happy that you were calling him at midnight.

“Hiiiiiiiiiiii baby, it’s me!” He chuckled when he realized that you were drunk. He would have preferred that you had called him sober, but when it came to you, he would take anything.

“Hello, mi pastelito. Are you alright?” He hoped you were not passed out somewhere. He heard people shouting your name in the background, so you were probably with friends, thankfully.

“Oh baby, I’m doing soooooooo good actually. These guys keep buying me shots. It’s great!” He definitely didn’t like to hear that.

“I think you should slow down. Tell these guys to back off.” You were pleased to hear his possessive tone.

“Are you jealous? Because if you are, that’s hot. All of this is your fault, anyway.”

“Really? How come? And when it comes to you, I am always jealous.” He heard you sigh.

“Well, because I saw you the other day, I had to break off with my boyfriend. It wasn’t fair to him. Now, I’m drunk in the club, and I keep telling people it’s because I just broke up with my boyfriend but really, I’m trying to get over you.” He softened at your words.

“I don’t want you to get over me, mi amor. In fact, I’m glad that you’re not with that other guy anymore. Why don’t you come over and we can talk about it?” You were drunk, but not drunk enough to forget why you shouldn’t see him.

“Checo, I really, really, really think that this is a bad idea. We were doing so good, we hadn’t seen each other in months.” You whined. “But I just miss you so much, I can’t help it.” He smiled at your words. This was the longest conversation you two had since you broke up.

“Don’t fight it, mi amor. Text me the address, and I’ll come pick you up.” Oh, he was good. It almost worked.

“I see what you’re doing,” you could hear him laugh. “Here’s what going to happen, okay? I’ll convince some guy in the club to buy me some shots, and if it works and I get drunk enough, I’ll call a cab to go see you. Text me the address of your hotel, please, just in case.” He wasn’t so sure about your plan.

“I don’t like this. Why don’t I just come pick you up?” He especially didn’t like the part that involved you flirting your way to free shots.

“Come on, baby, learn to live a little! It’ll be a surprise. I’m going to hang up right now, okay?” He tried to stop you, but it was too late. He texted you his location and kept checking his phone to make sure he hadn’t missed your call or a message from you.

Finally, at one in the morning, his phone rang.

“Hey baby, it’s me again!” He liked that you had started calling him baby again. “I’m on my way to your hotel, will you please let me in?” He was already sprinting down to the hotel lobby.

“Of course, mi amor, I’ll be there.”

“Also, the last guy that bought me a drink was pissed that I was not coming home with him, until I said that I knew Sergio Perez really well. He said he would forgive me if you sent him an autograph. Do you think you could do that?” He laughed.

“Yeah baby, I can do that. Are you nearby? I’m in the lobby.”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.” You shrieked when you got to the hotel. “Okay, I’m here. Bye bye now!” You hung up the phone and practically jumped out of the car. Maybe you shouldn’t have drunk that last sex on the beach.

“Mi pastelito, you look gorgeous.” He smiled in appreciation. It’s true, you did look gorgeous, in your short dress that barely covered anything. You gave him a little spin.

“Thank you, baby, it got me so many free drinks!” He chcukled at that, even if he didn’t like the thought of other guys circling you like sharks. “Although maybe I should’ve toned it down, because if I wasn’t so drunk, I wouldn’t be here.” You sighed. He pulled you in a hug, and it was like coming home. It was like nothing had changed. The mistress was back.

“I’m glad you’re here, mi amor.” He kissed the top of your head. “Let’s go inside.”

You didn’t make it to the elevator before you were all over him. As soon as the doors closed, you were kissing him like a starved woman, which is what you were. You had cut him off your diet, but the craving was too strong. He made you sit on the handrail to get a better angle. This could have been a shot straight out of a porn movie, the way you were both desperate to touch the other, the sounds you made. Plus, an elevator scene is always a hit.

“I just missed you so much, baby. I can’t help loving you!” You said between kisses.

“That’s good, because I love you too.” The elevator doors opened. Thank God there wasn’t anyone else. He led to you to his hotel room, never breaking the kiss. Your lover was talented.

Once you were inside the room, he pushed you against the wall to stun you with kisses all over the skin your dress showed. So, basically everywhere on your body. You were already moaning.

“Baby, we have to think. We shouldn’t be doing this. We are supposed to stay away from each other, remember? I’m drunk, so I have an excuse, but you don’t!” He took his sweet time to answer you, as he was too busy marking you.

“It’s funny, I can’t remember anything, except that I love you. Oh well.” You protested weakly. His touch on your body after months apart felt too good for you to remember your morals. You forced him to remove his shirt. You still remembered the number one rule of being a mistress: never leave a mark. You were very careful not to scratch him, even if that’s all you wanted to do. You both made your way to the bed tangled with each other.

“I want to be on top of you, baby, so I can remember this moment. This is our last time, for real this time.” He sat against the headboard and let you straddle him.

“Mi pastelido, I don’t think there’ll ever be a last time when it comes to you and me.” You shut him up by removing your dress. He looked you up and down lovingly. “I missed this, mi amor. You’re way too beautiful for your own good.” He made you blush.

“Thank you, baby.” You started to move on top of him. He gripped your waist to help you move while kissing you. Oh, your affair was so back, whether you wanted it or not.

When he started to unzip his pants, you suddenly remembered one tiny detail.

“After I dumped my boyfriend, I stopped taking the pill. I know it sucks, but do you have a condom?” Sergio shook his head.

“No, mi amor, I was not expecting you to come here, I don’t have anything.”

A big neon sign with the word DANGER flashed in your head, but stupid drunk you decided to ignore it. Having him again was just too good.

“I’m clean, so that’s okay. But we’ll have to be really careful!” He nodded.

“I’m clean too. I’ll pull out, it’s going to be okay.” He started to make you move on top of him again. You continued kissing him. The sign still flashed in your head.

After that, things got hot very quickly. When he got inside of you, you couldn’t help but scream his name everytime he moved. You started to breathe rapidly. Still, you were watching him to make sure he really did pull out. You were already in a big enough mess, adding to it was unnecessary.

“Baby, I swear, I’m going to come very soon.” He was too busy pleasing you to comment, but he did make grunting noises. Why did you two every stopped seeing each other again?

Only a short while later, when you were arching your back, you had your orgasm. It was heveanly, You fell lifelessly against his shoulder, and your guard slipped. You heard him finish inside of you at that exact moment. You gasped, and immediately tried to get off him.

“Oh no, this is bad, like really bad.” He realized his mistake.

“I really tried, I swear!” You weren’t listening to him. You were too busy freaking out.

“I have to... I have to go!” You were scrambling to get dressed. He was freaking out too, more by the fact that you were preparing to leave him once again.

“Mi amor, calm down! It’s going to be fine! At least stay the night, we'll deal with it in the morning!” He was desperately trying to get you to stay.

You were putting on your shoes. “I’m really sorry, but I have to go.” You hadn’t noticed, but you were crying. “This was a mistake. It won’t happen ever again!” You got out of the hotel room. He tried to chase you, but you were running down the hallway, and you were surprisingly fast, even with how much you had drunk.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror in the elevator, you had mascara tears running down your cheeks. You were nothing but an illicit affair. You saw nothing but the other woman in your reflection. This was your Black Swan moment.

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 #f1 fic #formula 1 #sergio perez #sergio checo pérez #sergio perez x reader

80 notes · View notes

teratosubmission · 3 days

Text

Your father, the King, had been pushing for you to join more diplomatic meetings. You needed the experience, of course, and what better way to get some than to accompany your Royal General to various meetings and discussions?

You dressed your best, of course. A light, silky skirt that barely covered the top of your thighs. Formal upper clothing without sleeves and a bottom cut that exposed your left hip and midriff. Your long flowing blond hair was freshly combed, adorned with a tiny rose sculpted from ruby. You were ready to receive this important dignitary and help lead the talks that would secure further peace between your kingdoms. Though as you had little taste for the initial boring pleasantries that go around every single staff member and noble at the very beginning, you were encouraged to wait a bit before entering the room. As your presence is announced by the door guard, you eye the General and make your way towards him, who was conversing with who you assume was the foreign dignitary… holy shit, he’s attractive? You can hear the general introduce you to him, the Formal Diplomat of the Western Kingdom, but his fanciful words sorta get lost on you as your eyes eat up his features.

God, his rippling muscles, his beautiful coat of fur, he was just… handsome. The neighboring kingdom could have scarcely found someone more attractive. You close in and gently touch his biceps and chest, gazing up at him in awe and lust. Oh god, he towered over you even more in person. Holy fuck. “Are all the wolves in the West as handsome as you?” you coo, biting your lip. You bring your knee up his thigh to subtly gauge his size by feel… oh, god, hes packing. He smirks at your comment, and he flexes for you, letting you feel just how ripped he was under all that fur. Oh my… You wanted him to devour you.

"Ahem, my lord, I know you wish to extend formalities in full,” your general interrupted, “but we have some serious business we need to discuss.” In the corner of your eye, you could spy the general adopting a stone face you’ve become all-too-familiar with when he gets irritated. Maybe he should get laid sometime, too. You’ve offered him some pussy in the past, you knew girls who would love a chance to bed a powerful warrior like himself. But he always droned something about duty and professionalism. What a bore.

“Oh, I don’t mind at all,” the diplomat replied, enthusiasm dripping in his deep voice. You start murmuring an apology but he cuts you off by tipping your chin up, gazing deep into your eyes with a roaring hunger. You salivate at his gaze, silently begging for his undivided attention. Please please please fuck me.

“I’m sure we could discuss this policy while paying my respects to His Highness.” His powerful hands grip your hips, swinging you around to face the war room table, and sets you firmly against it. You squeal in excitement, thighs trembling, as you spread your legs apart for him. God, you loved diplomacy. “Eager, are you?” he chuckles, pulling up your skirt to cup your cheeks and play with them, as the head of his cock slowly pushes against your quivering hole. You glance back at him with, happy groans escaping your lips as you beg for more. “Mmm… please…”

“Yes, please enjoy our hospitality.” His curt unfun words slice through the air, but its getting dulled by the electrifying current of pleasure sweeping through your clouded mind. “Now, you carry a proposal from the West?”

The diplomat doesn’t even skip a beat in his speech as he rhythmatically pounds into your bussy, his words getting huffy and labored as he struggles to keep his volume above your pathetic moaning with each plap. Your slender hands struggle to hold onto the table, your flowing locks knocking over some wood pieces representing some distant army. It was all distant, really. You couldn’t really hear the conversation anymore, you couldn’t focus on any part of the map on the table, you couldn’t even put two thoughts together about this whole affair. All you could do is let him slam into your hole and moan like a good boy. Let your drool pool out onto the map, let him raise you high enough your feet don’t reach the ground anymore and you’re solely leaning forward and pound you harder. Let your little cock throb and cum between your belly and the table, then just leak again and again as the waves of pleasure overwhelm you. Let him push as deep inside you as he wants and fill you up with his own cum, before pushing you further forward and letting you lay there, legs dangling off the edge with cum dripping out. You were in Euphoria.

“...And what does the prince think of this action?”

Wait… what? How long were you laying there basking in the afterglow? When did the werewolf quit fucking you? How long were they talking? There’s no way they finished their talks and were ready for royal approval. Was he really that good? Fuuuck…. You’d agree to anything just to feel him fuck your brains out again. Maybe you’ll invite him to your chambers immediately after this.

"Uh… yeah…” came your words, slurred and disjointed, as you struggled to lean your head up to gaze at the circled group of men in the room. “Sounds… good…. Someone gimme a… pen…”

One of your knights picked you up with ease, and set your toes down on the floor so you could prop yourself with your hands. You couldn’t bear to sit, anyway, not after what undignified things that foreign dignitary did to your ass… mmm, fuck… where is he? Somewhere behind you? Niice… You poke out your ass absent-mindedly and wiggle it at him teasingly.

“Your highness? The signature.” The curt words of your general snap you out of it, and realize the document had been sitting in front of you for some time. Everyone was watching you expectantly. The general in particular had that impatient look of mild disdain whenever he asked you for your permission. You got the feeling he didn’t like you much.

“Oh… sorry…” With a few strokes of your pen handed to you, the document is signed with the sloppy handwriting of a boy who still was suffering from a good dicking. Not your best handiwork, but it’s a document, not a work of art. You barely finish the last stroke before document and pen are snatched away, and the general shoots a hurried final greeting to the dignitary before exiting the room with his staff.

You can feel the weight of the dignitary press against your back, his hands reach forward on top of yours, and his muzzle presses against your ear. “You made an excellent decision this day,” he whispers, and his tongue suddenly drags up your earlobe to the pointy end. “I was hoping perhaps we could discuss more… private matters in your chambers? For the good of our kingdoms, of course.”

As you were being bridal carried by him all the back back to your bed, you kept thinking about just how much you were making your father proud. Just wait till he hears how important you were to governing favorable terms with the Western Kingdom. Or how well you're cultivating new relationships with them.

#terato #monster fucker #monsterfucker #teratophillia #monster x human #monster x reader #monster #nsft #elf fucker

39 notes · View notes

andrewmsaidso · 22 hours

Text

ok so i kinda sorta feel bad for the ravens yk. and not just riko kevin and jean but all of them. every raven ever who had to go through that bc imagine you grow up watching a sport and seeing your favourite player on tv and then decide you want to be like them when you grow up; score all the goals, win all the trophies, play a game you love so much and get paid for it, etc. so you join the exy team at school. you’re ecstatic when your parents buy you your first set of gear; your first stick, your first pair of shin pads, your first helmet, your first ball. due to being so passionate about it, soon you’re the best player on the team. your coach sees it. your parents see it. the other teams’ coaches see it. so your parents put you in a private club so you can get even better. and the more exy you watch, the more you fall in love with the sport, the more you want to be like the players on tv.

so you train super hard bc the end goal is to be the next *insert legend player*. and you get so good that by the time you’re in your senior year of high school, edgar allen wants to sign you. tetsuji moriyama, the man who created this sport you love so much, the father of exy, the ultimate legend, wants you on his team that ranks higher than every other collegiate exy team in the country, his team that have never lost to anyone ever.

so you don’t think twice signing. and then there’s the summer after high school. arguably the best summer ever. you’re probably not gonna see many of your friends ever again so you guys make the most of it bc you’re just an ordinary teenager doing ordinary teenage stuff, high off the expectation of how spectacular college is gonna be.

and then it’s june which means summer practices and you move into the nest for the first time, not knowing you won’t leave for the next 5 years, which actually end up being 7 and a half bc oh yeah btw, we do 16-hour days here.

you’re no longer the best on the team. you’re now playing amongst national champions. you struggle with the drills. you’re coaches beat you for struggling with the drills. you’re partner hates you because he’s also getting beat for your shortcomings. you hate him back because you get beat for his shortcomings. but you can’t really hate each other because you’re not allowed to talk to anyone who isn’t on the team. the coaches tell you the way you’ve been playing exy for the last over-a-decade is wrong. you need to be play dirtier, more violent.

it’s too dark. you have no say in what you eat, when you eat, when you sleep, when you’re allowed to leave, where you’re allowed to go, what you’re to study for the next 5 years. you’re struggling. you can’t call your parents. no outsiders. you can’t tell your friends. no outsiders. you don’t have friends. only partners and teammates.

and the hazing. it’s horrible. inhumane. the things they do to you. the things they force you to do. it happens so often, you become desensitised. you get used to it. you’ve blurred the line between right and wrong beyond repair. you become obsessed with everything raven and begin to hate the outside world. you become someone else. someone your parents won’t recognise when you see them for the first time in in 5—no, 7—years.

you don’t care. they don’t matter anymore. they’re not the coaches. they don’t decide your punishment or whether you can play in the next game or not. you’ve signed with a good team and are expected to go court. and you did it all by yourself. you endured for 7 years. by yourself. you didn’t need them then and you don’t need them now. so you push them away.

people think there’s something wrong with you. they call you crazy. you’re too angry, too violent, too callous. but that’s what ravens pride themselves on. anger, violence, and callousness. you’re ranking is high and you score a lot of goals so who cares. none of it matters.

exy doesn’t excite you anymore. you can’t even bring yourself to celebrate when you score goals. you don’t care about being anyone’s favourite player anymore. you’ve lost your passion.

your not even 30 and you’re sore all the time. you can’t play for more than a 45-minute half. your muscles are getting weaker. you don’t run as fast anymore. you’re sold to a weaker team. you injure yourself over and over from simply playing. you continue to push yourself until one day, you tear something beyond repair. you’ll never play again.

you have no family. no friends. you pushed them away remember? you’re still only in your twenties but it feels like life has no meaning anymore.

you are officially truly and utterly alone. your life has ended before it even began.

all because you, like every other kid, wanted to be like your role models you watched playing on tv.

and not to mention the kids who were signed to the team before riko’s death. like imagine watching the internet go crazy over a team you’re gonna play for, finding out that said team just might be a cult. just maybe.

like isn’t that just a tad bit … ☹️

#aftg #all for the game #the sunshine court #kevin day #jean moreau #neil josten #riko moriyama #edgar allen ravens #palmetto state foxes

39 notes · View notes

bloody-bee-tea · 10 hours

Text

June of (minimal) Doom 2024 Day 9 - I made a mistake

Satoru fucked up, he knows it. He knows it, but there’s no way to take it back, and that might just be the worst part about it.

He’s in dire need of some advice, so he barges into Shoko’s room, absolutely frantic to get some help.

“Shoko, I need your help,” he rushes out and Shoko only throws him a lazy look, clearly not convinced of the urgency of the situation.

“I’m not here to help you manage your social life,” she eventually says and Satoru frowns, momentarily forgetting his own very real, very serious problem.

“How do you know it’s that? I could be actively dying.”

“You have a voice for that.”

“A voice.”

“A very Shoko-I-somehow-got-my-arm-unattached-from-my-body-and-now-I-need-help-voice. This is not that. This is your Shoko-I-socially-fucked-up-voice. And with that I cannot help.”

“That’s—uncalled for, actually,” Satoru mutters before he gravity of the situation slams into him all over again. “But please, Shoko, I really do need your help.”

“You’re not going to leave without at least telling me about whatever you fucked up, are you?” she asks, clearly already somewhat resigned to her fate and she only sighs when Satoru shakes his head.

“Nope,” he still says for good measure, just so she knows just how serious this is and finally Shoko gives him her full attention.

“Okay, hit me with it, then,” she says and Satoru takes a deep breath.

“I may have implied to my family that Suguru is my boyfriend,” Satoru rushes out, in case Shoko changes her mind again and because it’s actually painful to admit that and immediately Shoko’s eyebrows fly up.

“Oh, damn,” she whispers. “You really fucked up.”

“I did,” Satoru cries out and buries his face in his hands. “Fuck, I fucked up so badly. How am I ever going to explain that to him in a way that doesn’t make him lose it?” he desperately asks and he doesn’t even need to look up to know that Shoko is wincing.

“I’m not sure that there’s a way,” she carefully says and Satoru almost sobs at that.

He knows that this is bad, that Suguru is probably going to hate him for it and he has no goddamn clue how he’s every going to fix it.

“What if I just don’t tell him?” he tries and Shoko hits him over the head for it.

“You know that your family is going to approach him if they think you’re together. Things are not quite that easy for you prominent clan members,” she reminds him as if Satoru could really have forgotten that.

“I know,” he whines out because it doesn’t help with his problem at all. “He’s going to cut me out of his life, I just know it. And then I’ll have lost him and I’ll have to tell my family that we broke up and I’m not going to survive it.”

“Oh, Satoru,” Shoko helplessly says, because what else is there to say, really.

Satoru is right after all.

Suguru is going to blow a fuse, he’s going to be incredibly mad at Satoru and then he won’t want anything to do with him anymore and just like that Satoru will have lost his one and only and all because he’s stupid and can’t function properly when he talks to his mother.

Fuck.

“Maybe he won’t take it so badly?” Shoko suggests and now that makes Satoru snort out a desperate laugh.

“Yeah, right. That seems likely with how vehemently he has always protested any kind of notion in that direction,” he gives back because people have mistaken them for a couple several times already and every time it was brought up, Suguru almost exploded with anger and he always rushes to set things straight: we’re not together, how dare you even suggest that, never say something like that again.

Satoru always found his reaction a little bit over the top, especially since he didn’t mind it at all and what does it even matter if some strangers think they are together, but Suguru was always quick to shut such suggestions down.

It made it more than clear that he’d never see Satoru in that light, that he’d never want a relationship, no matter how much Satoru wished for it and to fuck up like this now is probably going to cost him Suguru entirely.

Satoru just wants to hide himself away for the rest of his life, hoping that like this he doesn’t have to see Suguru be furious with him for a change.

“What are you going to do?” Shoko asks and Satoru deflates where he stands.

She’s right when she says that his clan will most likely contact Suguru somehow so there’s not really much he can do.

“I’ll have to tell him,” Satoru whispers and Shoko hums.

“That sucks,” she says and that’s the understatement of the year. “I know it’s not much but you can come here to get smashed afterwards if you want,” she then offers and Satoru knows how jealously she hoards her alcohol so for her to offer this, he must really be in deep shit.

“Thanks, I guess,” he mutters and turns back around to the door. “I’ll go destroy the best thing in my life now, then,” he adds on and while it sounds overdramatic, that is exactly how it feels to him.

But there’s no way around it—he already knew that before he came to Shoko—and he just has to be a big boy and get it over with.

He makes his way over to Suguru’s room, dragging his feet a bit, but he still arrives at his door sooner than he’d like.

Satoru takes one deep breath before he knocks and then he shuffles unsurely around as he waits for Suguru’s call.

Instead of doing that, Suguru comes to the door himself, and Satoru flinches.

“Satoru? What’s wrong?” Suguru asks and of course something must be wrong because Satoru normally never knocks. He never needed to, he was always welcome to barge right in, but he knows that he’s going to lose that privilege as soon as he tells Suguru what’s going on, so he better starts behaving accordingly as soon as he can.

“Can I come in?” Satoru asks and Suguru’s face clouds over with worry.

“What the fuck is going on?” he asks and then reaches out to take Satoru’s temperature. “Are you sick?”

“No. Suguru, can I come in?” he asks again and cherishes the way Suguru’s name feels in his mouth.

He’ll probably have to refer to him as Geto once this is all over and that alone is almost enough to bring tears to his eyes.

“You’re freaking me out,” Suguru says but he does step aside to let Satoru in.

“Sorry, I just—there’s something I have to tell you,” Satoru mutters and he can tell that his words do nothing to alleviate Suguru’s worries.

“Okay, spit it out then,” Suguru says once the door is closed behind Satoru and Satoru wrings his hands in front of his chest.

“I just want to start this off with the fact that I didn’t really mean to and I’m really very sorry. If that helps at all.”

“It would, maybe, if you could tell me just what exactly it is you did,” Suguru gives back and Satoru knows that there’s no way around this, that he has to come clean about this and yet he still stalls for a few more precious seconds.

A few seconds more where Suguru doesn’t hate him yet and Satoru hoards them as greedily as he can.

“I made a mistake,” he finally starts with and Suguru frowns.

“Okay. What kind of mistake?” he asks and Satoru starts to pace in his room.

“My mother called me today, and you know how talking with her always gets me,” he explains and Suguru nods, because it’s not news to him that talking to anyone from his family fucks Satoru a little bit up every time. “And she keeps pestering me about finding someone to settle down with and to preferably start producing heirs as soon as possible.”

“You’re not even eighteen yet,” Suguru interjects and Satoru shrugs, because that really has never mattered to his family.

If it were up to them he would probably already be a father, preferably a few times over, just in case they can have more overpowered Gojo’s.

“Not the point,” Satoru mutters.

“What is the point then?”

“The point is that I may have panicked?” he asks and then falls silent again, unable to find the words.

“And done what? Satoru, seriously, do I have to pull every word out of you?” Suguru wants to know, clearly getting impatient now and Satoru takes a deep breath before he finally spills it all.

“I may have blurted out that I’m already seeing someone, but that I wasn’t ready to tell them yet, just so she would get off my back, but of course she didn’t and instead pestered me to know who it was and her guesses were getting increasingly disturbing so I eventually just blurted out that I’m seeing you.”

He doesn’t dare to look at Suguru, doesn’t want to know what kind of face he’s making at hearing that and he’s sure that the yelling is going to start any moment now.

Instead Suguru stays quiet. Eerily so.

“Suguru?” Satoru finally asks and when he looks at Suguru he’s not prepared for the crestfallen look he sees on his face.

“Why would you do that?” Suguru asks, his voice barely above a whisper and he looks so hurt that Satoru feels like the scum of the earth, knowing he was the one to put that look on his face.

He would have preferred anger, he thinks.

“I just—I panicked. I didn’t think.”

“How is that the first thing you can come up with, though? Shoko is right there. Why did it have to be me?”

“Maybe—” Satoru starts and then decides to fuck it. Suguru is going to hate him one way or another, so it’s probably best to put it all out there. “Maybe because it was the first thing I thought of.”

“But why?” Suguru demands to know again and Satoru locks his eyes with.

“Because it’s something I wish was true, so I couldn’t think of anything—anyone—else,” he admits and then waits for the unavoidable anger that’s sure to follow his words.

“You—want me to be your boyfriend?” Suguru mutters and Satoru shrugs.

“Yeah. I have, for a long time. I know how you feel about that, though, so I get it. I know you must be mad, I know you must be disgusted. And I wish I could change it, I wish I could take it all back, but things with my family are not quite that easy and they are not going to ignore this. I expect them to contact you some time this week, so I thought it’s best to warn you before that.”

“Wait, hold on, stop,” Suguru rushes out and holds up his hands as if that could force Satoru’s words to a stop. “What do you mean, you’ve felt that way for a long time?”

“Just that. I’ve been in love with you for months now, Suguru. What else do you want me to say?”

“But you never said anything!”

“Right,” Satoru lets out a bitter laugh. “You think I am that eager to get rejected? I know how you feel about that, I’ve seen the way you react to people assuming this about us, so I always knew I had no chance at all. But I didn’t think with my mother, and now it’s all fucked up.”

“How I feel about that?”

“Suguru, please, can we just skip ahead to the point where you yell at me and tell me to get out and never come back? I can’t do this,” Satoru begs him, because he’s not a fan of dragging the inevitable out like this but he was not prepared for the way Suguru steps forward and takes his hands in his.

“Satoru, I love you,” Suguru says and it’s so out of left field that Satoru doesn’t even understand what’s happening.

“You’re mad at me,” he gives back and watches how Suguru shakes his head, his hair flying.

“I’m not, gods, I’m not! Satoru, I love you. I’m in love with you.”

“But you—that can’t be, you always yelled at people who assumed things about us,” Satoru mutters out, because he wasn’t imagining that. “Even Shoko knows that you’re going to kick me out of your life for this, that’s how much you hate the notion of a romantic relationship with me.”

“Fuck, that’s so not true,” Suguru rushes out. “I’m sorry it came across like that! It’s just—whenever people assumed that I was so hurt because it wasn’t true and there was no way in hell that you’d ever feel that way about me, so I got defensive.”

“What do you mean, I’d never feel that way?”

“I just mean—what would you ever see in me?” Suguru asks and squeezes Satoru’s hands. “I thought I had no chance. I’m not from a big clan, I am nothing special, so why would you ever feel that way about me?”

“Because you’re Suguru,” Satoru gives back as if that explains everything and to him it does.

Suguru is Suguru and that’s why Satoru loves him.

“I didn’t know,” Suguru mutters and rests their foreheads together. “Satoru, I didn’t know. I never would have expected this.”

“So—you’re not mad,” Satoru has to say, because it still makes little sense to him what is happening.

“I’m not mad. I’m overjoyed. I want to be your boyfriend.”

“Really?” Satoru has to ask to make sure.

“Really,” Suguru immediately gives back. “I’m sorry I ever made you think otherwise.”

“It’s not as if I ever said anything to make you think you have a chance, apparently,” Satoru replies even though he wonders how that can be, but maybe that’s a conversation for a later point.

“But I know better now,” Suguru says and tilts his head to brush a kiss over Satoru’s lips. “Boyfriend.”

The word makes Satoru all tingly and he can’t help the big smile that breaks out on his face.

“Boyfriend,” he agrees and dives right in for a real kiss. “I like how that sounds.”

“Me, too,” Suguru admits and when he pulls Satoru in for a bone-crushing hug, he goes easily.

They stay like that for a long time and even though Satoru knows that there will have to be at least one more conversation to be held about this—at least about the expectations his clan will have for Suguru—he thinks that all of that can wait because there’s no power out there that could make him pull away from Suguru at that moment.

Or ever again, but he thinks it might be a little bit too soon to admit that as well. Small steps, he thinks, and buries his face in the crook of Suguru’s neck. He already has what he wants in his arms after all. Everything else can come later.

#bt writes #june of doom 2024 #jjk #satosugu #geto suguru #gojo satoru #shoko ieiri #misunderstandings #getting together #not actually unrequited love #first kiss #love confessions #hurt/comfort

25 notes · View notes

jeons-catalyst · 13 hours

Note

I sent you an ask asking for two moments which ig are not needed to find out anymore cause i found it 😅

I'm using twitter translation for this so it goes like

"📖 Ch.4

- Just like JK said in Suchwita, it also comes out in this chapter: "I feel the hyungs in the way I act and speak. Suga's thoughts, RM's words, JM's actions, V's unique style, Hobi's optimism and Jin's enthusiasm 💜 +

#BEYOND_THE_STORY"

Once again jk picking up jm's actions hence the "i always follow what jiminie hyung does" lol. This also shows you ho much he admires jm's actions that he tries to adapt them. Hence why he immediately took jm's name when members praised him for being considerate cause he knows where he has learnt some of it. Not saying jk doens't has or learnt things on his own, he did and he is pretty considerate on his own but there sure was alot of things to work on he said it in the book himself.

The other moment was from long ago actually 2016 it was BTS's physiology and jk picked all members like this

"Sky (Person you like): Namjoon

Sand (Person who likes you): Jhope

Rain (Person who gives you advice): V

Sea (Person who inspires you): Jimin

Moon (Person who will protect you forever): Suga

Snow (Person who will follow you forever): Jin"

So jm is someone who has enough impact on him to inspire him. Jm inspires him. And these moments being from 2016 where the jk hates jm agendas were thriving tells you how jk actually sees jm VS how #they want to see it.

Bless your beautiful heart anon, for finding the chapter where Jk said this cuz lord knows i had been looking for it. I remembered seeing it in the book but i just couldn’t remember what chapter it was and i was too lazy to go reading the entire book again just to find that excerpt, so thank you!

Only those who intentionally want to be blind and or deaf would continue refusing to see how much of an impact Jimin has on Jk because if Jk has done one thing, it has been to make it clear that Jimin is his inspiration in so many ways. Notice how with the other members, he picks particular things about them like thoughts, words, unique style, cheerfulness and optimism. Whereas with Jimin he picks his actions. That isn’t one thing or one character trait like with the rest of the members but a generationalization of his actions. He wasn’t just talking about one thing but everything when it came to Jimin. This kinda sits on the same table as him picking specific parts as his favourite body parts of the other members and then picking Jimin’s entire body as his favourite part of Jimin. I have said it before and i’ll say it again. Jk loves JIMIN. When i say he loves Jimin, i don’t mean he loves something about him but everything about him. Jk is enamoured with the person that is Park Jimin is in all his entirety.

Jk himself has never failed to acknowledge the fact that alot of his actions are influenced by Jimin. Jokers say this all the time as it is obvious from watching him but when we say this, we are called Jokers and then when Jk himself says it with his own mouth, everyone ignores it because that is not the reality they want.

My favourite thing about being a joker is that when we say Jimin is Jk’s Catalyst, we can prove it.

When we say anything about Jikook and how we view their bond, we usually have the members words themselves to back us up. We don’t pull shit outta our asses or mistranslate stuff or purposefully twist the truth just to further our narrative. Jk and Jimin have always told us just how deep their bond runs.

#jungkook #jimin #jikook #my asks #jikook blog

32 notes · View notes

uhohbestie · 2 days

Text

There Are Monsters Nearby [Chapter 21]

🏜 Pairing: Grian/Scar

🧟‍♂️ Tags: zombie AU, zombie apocalypse, lovers to exes, slow burn, eventual reconciliation

📖 Summary: The day after Scar breaks up with Grian, the dead come back to life. Knowing that venturing out alone is a death sentence, the sudden onset of the apocalypse forces them to stick together despite the tensions between them. In the wreckage of the world, they're forced to survive side-by-side, coming to terms with the fact that—try as they might—there's still no one they trust more than each other.

Chapter 21 - Finally forced to face how little faith Scar has left in him, Grian resorts to a desperate grand gesture, hoping the salvage what little remains of the burned bridge they have left between them. At the edge of the apocalypse, with no one around for miles, what could possibly go wrong?

📝 Words: 14,258

🔗 Link: Read Chapter 21 on AO3

—

Hesitantly, Grian touches on the fringes of the matter, hands settling on Scar’s back as he takes a seat. “You’re in a much better mood than I expected you to be this morning.”

“Oh, I’m furious,” Scar answers, matter-of-fact. He turns the key in the ignition, the vespa immediately rattling to life. “But what does that matter at this point?”

Grian doesn’t want to hear the answer to the question, but he can’t help but ask it.

“How do you mean?”

Scar sighs heavily, obviously put upon by it. “You’re not going to change, Grian. I get that now, and I probably should have a long time ago. What’s the point in getting upset with you over and over again when it won’t make a difference? Why should I make myself worse when it’s never going to get the reaction I need out of you?”

Grian winces, fingers pressing into the soft leather shoulders of Scar’s jacket.

“Scar…”

“It’s better this way,” Scar insists, not giving room to hear him out—though admittedly Grian doesn’t know what he’d even say, when it feels like every atom of him is being constricted and torn apart at the same time. “I’m over it. We can travel together. It’ll be fine, and we won’t have to fight or argue anymore. Everybody wins.”

Grian can hear what he isn’t saying implicitly and it burns inside him, hot and guilty.

‘As long as I don’t expect anything from you, I won’t be disappointed.’

“Scar,” he tries again, his voice small as the name leaves him, but Scar merely shakes his head.

“I want to focus on driving,” he explains, curt but calm at the same time. “You can tell me how bad I’m making you feel when we take a break.”

—

And that's the end of the second arc, and the midway point of the fic!A cliffhanger, some might say. (Imagine the two of us holding your hand so tightly and saying "please trust us" hahahahaha.)

You can read the whole fic thus-far in the link below!

You may not rest now, There Are Monsters Nearby (on ao3!)

#trafficshipping #scarian #life series fanfic #zombie au #TAMN #TAMN fic

25 notes · View notes

ladykailitha · 2 hours

Text

Sweet Home Indiana Part 6

@anne-bennett-cosplayer I hope this is enough time to recover from that last line. It's technically been 3 business days.

That last line was mean, and I'm sorry. So for being so mean, here's Claudia Henderson with some very tough love for Eddie.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

****

Eddie had done some serious groveling that night. He didn’t know how he could make up for all the hell he’d put Steve through. How does one even begin to make up for a decade worth of shitty behavior?

Especially since it was clear that the one thing that would make it all worth it was if Eddie came back to Steve and he couldn’t do that. Not to Chrissy. Not when she needed him the most.

He did the only thing he could think of and talk to the people who still cared about Steve. He started with Claudia Henderson. Even though she wasn’t Steve’s birth mother, she was more his mom then that shrew ever was.

She gathered him into a hug when he showed up on her doorstep.

“I was wondering when your shadow would darken my doorway,” Claudia said, as she lead the way to the kitchen.

Eddie winced at the harsh words even if they gently given. He looked around the small house, Dustin’s mark stamped on every corner even though he had moved out long ago. But more surprisingly was Steve’s touch had found its way into the decor. And not just his photos on the wall either.

It was in the Pacers blanket on the loveseat, the baseball bat by the front door, the bright yellow pillows on the sofa. Steve was loved here and god did that make Eddie’s heart ache.

He sat down at his usual spot at the counter and watched as she bustled around the kitchen getting him cookies and glass of milk.

“Why are you even here, Eddie?” she asked in that tough but loving way she always had. “You broke his heart and then threw it away.”

Eddie took bite of the cookie to give him time to formulate an answer. “Because I know I fucked up, okay? But the only way I can see to fix it is to come back to him and I can’t do that. I can’t tell you why, just know she’s in trouble and this is the only option we have.”

Claudia let out a long sigh and leaned on the counter. “You always did know the right things to say.”

“Not when it comes to him,” he scoffed, staring down at his milk like it would give him the answers. “I keep making it worse.”

She hummed her agreement. “That’s certainly true. But I think that was more about you trying to protect your heart from getting hurt, only you ended up hurting his instead.”

Eddie just dunked his cookie without comment, because he knew she was right. It was never about Steve. It was about all the people who hated him, who strung him along until they had their fun, about his mom dying and his dad leaving, about the band deciding they just didn’t want to do it anymore.

He loved being a tattoo artist, but that wasn’t the dream.

“What would you do or tell Dusty if it was him you’d come to see after a decade apart?” Claudia asked, looking up at him.

Eddie sat back in the stool and sighed. “How much I missed him and then I would try to spend as much time with him as possible.”

“There you have it,” she said. She straightened up and knocked on the counter twice. “The bakery is closed Fridays and the carnival is in town. Why don’t you take him and get to know who he is now, all right?”

He rubbed his face and sighed again. “Yeah, if he’ll even go with me. He probably already has a hot date lined up, though.”

Claudia shook her head. “At least not that he’s told me, anyway. In fact he was lamenting that he was thinking about not going because Robin had a date, but he didn’t and he didn’t want to third wheel it.”

That was so like Steve. Instead of finding someone to go with him, like a friend or something, he would just not go. Tell them to have fun without him.

“I guess the worse that could happen is have him curse me out and hang up,” Eddie said with wry smile. “And considering I’ve already had the pleasure once, a second time isn’t going to change much.”

She lifted her chin. “Well go on, then. If you think he’s going to cuss you out, call him. I want to see this.”

Eddie stuck his tongue out at her like a petulant child. But did as he was told.

“Hey, Eds,” Steve greeted, picking up the phone almost immediately.

His heart stuttered in his chest at the old nickname. “Hey, Stevie. I hear the carnival was in town this week and wanted to see if you want to go.”

“With you? Or with a group or whatever?” Steve asked, his voice pitching a little higher than normal.

“Just me,” Eddie confirmed. “When would be good for you?” He looked up at Claudia who had the smuggest grin on her face. He stuck his tongue out at her again.

“Oh, I–um...” he stammered. “Well, I was thinking of opening the shop on Friday even though I don’t usually because I was closed on Sunday.”

Eddie winced. He had a pretty good idea why Steve’s shop was closed on Sunday. Steve had called to bitch him out on Saturday evening when the special courier delivered the annulment papers. Something the law firm had paid for so they wouldn’t lose their best legal assistant.

“But sure, I could use a proper day off for a change,” Steve was saying when Eddie’s brain finally came back on. “How about two o’clock?”

“That’d be great,” he said a small, fond smile on his face. “I can’t wait. I haven’t been to a proper carnival in years.”

“Perks of living in a small town, I guess,” Steve replied.

Eddie started playing with his hair. “One of the few. Can’t say I’m a fan of the homophobia.”

Steve laughed, bright and sweet. “Yeah, okay. You got me there. Look I’ve got to go, Robin’s giving me the stink eye and I really should get back to work.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “I talk to you later.” He hung up and refused to look Claudia in the eye. He knew what he was going to see anyway. Her arms crossed over her chest and a triumphant smile on her face.

“I don’t believe I heard any cursing on that call,” she said dryly. He looked up at her and he as right about everything about how she was looking at him, only with the addition of a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah well,” Eddie said, rolling his eyes. “He always was a stubborn bastard and having to prove me wrong.”

Claudia’s face crumpled a bit. Because yes, Eddie had done a lot of harm to their relationship, Steve wasn’t exactly blameless in the whole ordeal. Because Max’s situation aside, Eddie was right that ‘the kids’ had families and parents of their own. That they had people who would look out for them. And if Steve hadn’t stepped up in Max’s case, she sure as hell would have. The awkwardness between Max and Dustin be damned.

If Steve had loved Eddie as much as he claimed, he wouldn’t have tried to force the metalhead to chose between his friends and his husband.

“He is that,” she admitted gently. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you two. You were always a better person when you were together, than when you were apart. And yes, he’s struggled a lot since you left, but looking at you now, I can see that the years haven’t been kind to you either.”

Eddie huffed. “That’s what Uncle Wayne said. That I lost my sparkle or whatever.”

Claudia came around the corner and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back tight.

“Your uncle is right, sweetie,” she murmured into his hair. “We only want you to be happy and it doesn’t feel like you are. You say you’re getting married, but where’s the bounce in your step and the smile that won’t stop? Like when you and Steve had come back from a week vacation married if only in the state of Massachusetts.”

He let out a shuddering breath and then another. Soon he was just sobbing. Crying like he couldn’t stop.

Eddie had never wanted to hurt Steve and he was sure Steve felt the same about him.

She soothed him with whispered assurances and stroking his hair. Soon enough he had slowed to a hiccuping sniffle and Claudia stepped back so she could look him in the eyes.

“I have a pretty good idea what’s really going on,” she said firmly. “And you’re being really sweet, but before you do something you regret, spend time in town. Take a look at the things that have changed and all the ones that haven’t. Then decide if it’s still the right thing to do.”

He gulped. He had no doubt that she had figured it out. She was Claudia Fucking Henderson, of course she did.

“You won’t tell anyone,” Eddie asked, tears threatening to spill again, “will you?”

She shook her head. “No, your secret is safe with me. I won’t make things harder on you then they need to be.”

She hugged him again and Eddie felt like he was home for the first time in over five years.

****

“Just where are you taking me, old man?” Eddie teased. He had met his uncle for lunch after being emotionally rung out at the Henderson place.

“You need a pick me up,” Wayne said, “and I need my afternoon brownie. Come along.”

Eddie came to an abrupt stop. “Um...I’ll wait out here, then.”

Wayne looked up at the shop’s sign and then back at him. “Look, son, you’re going to have to face him eventually. Especially with you going to carnival together and all.”

Eddie dug his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and followed Wayne dutifully into the bakery.

“Hey Mr. Munson!” Steve greeted cheerfully. “You here for your usual?”

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me ‘Wayne’?” he asked with a chuckle, walking up the to counter.

Steve blushed and hung his head. “I guess I’m just old fashioned.” He cleared his throat and straightened up. “So what can I get you and your shadow today?”

Wayne reared his head back and then looked over his shoulder to see Eddie hanging back, but sticking as close to him as possible.

“That’ll be two monsters, one of your apple fritters, and a half dozen of your snickerdoodles,” he said shaking his head. Then he turned to Eddie. “And what do you want?”

Eddie’s eyes nearly burst out of his head. Steve and Wayne laughed.

“I suppose I should have said ‘what else do you want?’” Wayne clarified.

Eddie blushed and peered around Wayne’s shoulder to look into the case. “A peanut butter madness, please.”

Steve’s face lit up with delight. “These are the ones Jeff’s mom was slandering with having them stale. They are so much better warm out of the oven. In fact, here!” He grabbed it out of the case and wandered to the back.

He came out a few moments later. Eddie nearly melted from the tantalizing scent of warm brownie filled the air.

“What did you do?” Eddie cried as he reached out with grabby hands.

Steve handed it to him. “Careful, it’s hot. I microwaved it for thirty seconds. Should be perfect now.”

Eddie cautious bite and moaned as soon as the peanut butter hit his mouth. He savored every bit of that first bite. “Fuck, Stevie. These should be a sin.”

Steve smiled and then got to work on the rest of Wayne’s order as Eddie devoured every inch of that brownie.

“How long are you in town for, Eds?” he asked as he handed over the boxes to Wayne.

Eddie grabbed a paper napkin from the dispenser by the register and wiped off his hands and mouth of the gooey remains.

“I’ve got to back by Monday,” he said, a tad mournfully. He never thought he’d miss this place after spending so long running from it. The town. Not the bakery. Though he had spent a lot of his time running from its owner, too.

Steve’s own smile faltered a bit too. “Not even a whole week, huh? I guess there really is no rest for the wicked.”

They chatted for a bit before more customers came in and Steve had to get back to work. Eddie and Wayne walked out of the shop laden with goodies. Steve had divided them up for Eddie and Wayne separately. Wayne handed Eddie his box.

“Now was that so terrible?” he asked with big grin.

“No.”

Because it really wasn’t. In fact it was kinda nice just chatting with Steve.

Leaving was looking more and more bleak with each passing moment.

****

1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @ravenfrog @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @goodolefashionedloverboi

3- @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @vecnuthy @irregular-child

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1

5- @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95

7- @blackpanzy @amazing-spiderkeys @oldpinghai @raisedbylibrarians @kultiras

8- @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steddie-as-they-go @captain--low @micheledawn1975 @thespaceantwhowrites

9- @mac-attack19 @blondie1006

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #rom com au

27 notes · View notes

everythingwrongwithizumi · 1 day

Note

would you write angst for twd negan? reader getting injured ?

To Be Loved

pairing: Negan Smith x fem!reader

warning: MNDI, 18+, slight smut, cussing, sexual harassment, graphic depictions of sexual assault, depression, anxiety, suicide, death, self harm, angst, angst with happy ending?, reader is described to have certain physical attributes, mentions of sexual assault, mention of battered wife syndrome, let me know if you see anymore

w/c: 8k (Zoo Wee Mama)

a/n: Jeez, yea this was a lot. I’m gonna make a separate post about it but if you need someone to talk to or you know someone that has been or you have been sexually assaulted please don’t hesitate to reach out for help or to talk about it. Men and women and Non binary’s you guys are strong keep your head up!!

National Sexual Assault Line

800-656-HOPE (4673)

I had to do it. I had to give up my mind, body, and soul to save my older brother. I owed him everything, he was the reason I was still alive after all this time. We would spend our days scavenging for food and sometimes we’d forget to even look for food.

We only cared for each other and we would never go anywhere without each other. So when he got sick I didn’t know what to do. I would sit there and watch as he had his eight coughing fit that day sometimes blood came out.

He would give me this look, a look that said *Just leave me here to die and fight to survive.* I couldn’t. And I wouldn’t, “You need to drink this man.” He would just look at me with that look before taking a sip.

“I’m gonna go and see if I can find some more water. This shitty town has to have some bottles floating around,” as soon as I got up from my crouching position I felt his hand grip my ankle. “The only thing floating around is your brain. Use it and get the hell outta here,” I stood in shock at his words.

Sure, he’s one sarcastic son of a bitch, but we always did things together and he never gave up, even when the whole world was against him or in this case trying to kill him he never gave up. “Shut up,” was all I said as I released myself from his grasp and exited the department store we(I) cleared.

I looked around and heard an engine nearby. It sounded like a car so I quickly took my knife out and begun sneaking around some buildings to get to the convenient store. Once I made it to the entrance and began to open the door bullets came flying from behind me.

I quickly ran inside to take cover. The loud noises surely drew those dead freaks out. Not wanting to waste anymore time I sprinted to the back where the fridges were. As I began to look for water I heard the crunching of shattered glass being stepped on.

“Which way do you think she went,” one of them asked, his voice was heavy and sounded mean. “Can’t we just kill her and go one with our day,” the other man sighed and it sounded like he kicked something out of the way because soon a thud followed.

“You know what Negan said about the girls, besides he saw her himself sitting in his damn ass in that car,” hearing that told me everything I needed to know. Just like my brother said, men nowadays don’t want to kill women, they want to take them and do things to them.

Shivering at the thought I carefully snuck around some aisles before approaching one of the men who had picked up a stuffed animal near the front. Taking a quick glance at my surroundings I snuck up to the man and shoved my knife in his throat, not allowing him to make any noises other than soft gurgling and throwing his arms around.

I placed him on the floor softly to not attract noise, “Oh shit!” I heard gun fire in the store and I looked around me. There were those dead things coming after the other guy. Taking my chance I ran to pick up the last three water bottles in the fridges before bolting out the back.

Hearing some more gunfire I quickly made my way back to where my brother was. I nearly dropped the water bottles soon seeing four men guarding the entrance. I grumbled to myself and decided to take a different route to get inside.

Once I entered through the back which stupidly enough was not guarded I took down two more of the men in the department store where my brother is. I attempted to make my way into the room he was in before big arms wrapped around me.

I wasn’t a small tiny person but I wasn’t big either. My family had a history of tall kids so I took advantage and threw my head back making contact with his nose. I wanted to rub the part his nose made contact with but I had no time as another pair of arms wrapped around my neck pulling me back and before I knew it, my feet were off the ground.

I was being carried from my arms and my feet. No matter how much I kept moving their arms were not budging. “Well, well, well, what do we have here,” A voice boomed from in front of me as I was thrown into the floor.

A grunt left my lips, “What the hell? Is that anyway to treat a lady?” The man faked sincerity, throwing a hand to his chest. The two men mumbled an apology to him and he simply shook his head before looking down at me, “My names Negan, what’s yours?” Pushing myself up to look at him I nearly fell back at how close he was to me.

He was crouching in front of me with a grin on his face. He was handsome, I’ll give him that, but nothing disgusts me more than evil men. “Y/N,” I quickly spit out causing him to nod before looking behind him.

“Was that your brother,” my eyes shot up at his choice of wording. Fearing the worst I shot up to check to see if he was dead before I was held down by Negan. “Woah! Calm down pretty lady, he’s alive, buuut he’s not doing so good.”

I sniffed and attempted to back up before I felt something poke the back of my head. I turned to see two guns pointed at my head, no doubt on orders by whoever the hell this guy was.

I looked back at him as he looked deep in thought before feeling his eyes wonder on my body. I suddenly felt naked even though I had more than enough clothes on. I wanted to shield myself and hide away with my brother.

“I have an idea,” Negan grinned from ear to ear. My eyebrow raised as I watched him stand up and pick his bat up. Shit. That thing had barbed wire around it. My eyes widened in shock as I was sure he was going to kill me.

Instead he crouched down in front of me again this time his bat was resting on his shoulder, “How about I put your boyfriend out of his misery and take you with me so you can serve under me OR,” he exaggerated the or.

“He comes with us and we treat him under the condition you marry me.”

I chose the latter in hopes to see my brother at his best again. I couldn’t live in a world without him, I just couldn’t. So reluctantly I sat next to Negan as we made our way back to where he called “The Sanctuary “

“So, how long have you and your boyfriend been a thing,” Negan nudged my shoulder lightly to get a response out of me. God I hated the way he looked. He looked so happy and carefree, like nothing in the world was wrong, like everything was just perfect the way it was.

Side eyeing him I responded with disgust, “That’s my brother dip shit.” This only caused him to laugh and the driver next to me to give a chuckle. “You got some spunk to you, I like it,” was the last thing he said before we arrived.

I was met with a woman in a nice black dress. She looked beautiful… Negan introduced me to her and everyone else who was kneeling before him as his new wife. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my sickly brothers eyes widen as he was taken inside by a man in a white coat.

Once I was inside I was escorted by Negan himself into a room with sofas and other luxury furniture. “Hi, I’m Sherry I’m sorta new. Frankie and Tanya have been here for a minute but don’t worry, you’ll be taken care of and treated like a queen, hopefully,” she didn’t think I heard it as her back was now turned to me but I did. I heard that last word.

She showed me to a room nearby and gave me a mini tour. The room was nice it had a full bed, a kitchenette, a loveseat, a table with two chairs, and a bathroom that had a big shower. I stared in awe and she just smiled sympathetically at me.

“You should clean up, I left you some clothes and shoes change into them and give me your clothes your wearing now when you’re done,” Sherry pointed towards the small dress and heels placed on the bed. I turned to her with a raised brow.

She just shook her head, “You have to wear it if you’re gonna be his wife,” my eyes widened in realization that those girls were also his wife. I wanted to just take my brother and run away from here, but this place was a luxury and I still needed to locate my brother.

Giving her a nod she smiled before leaving the room not bothering to lock it. I didn’t care though, a shower sounded like something I needed. I spotted razors and a variety of different soaps. I smiled at the sight and remembrance of when I would spend hours in the shower shaving every crevice of my body.

So I did just that and two hours later with a slight headache, wobbly legs, and tired arms I got dressed. The dress was a bit tight around my chest and waist but flowed a bit at the bottom. A silk A-Line dress with a slight corseted top. My boobs were a problem in itself, they were practically spilling out and anytime I tried to pull it up I felt the air on my ass. Sighing I went with having my chest out rather than my butt.

It didn’t help that the bra I was given wouldn’t fit with the dress and the underwear I was given was a thong that went right up my ass. The heels were strappy and relatively low, thankfully. I turned to open the door but it was opened for me instead.

I made eye contact with Sherry as she looked down at me and smiled, “If I didn’t have a boyfriend and a husband, I’d be all over you.” I blushed lightly at her comment and she took my hand. “Come on, the girls wanted to do your make up and hair, show you the ropes and rules.”

“I know how to wear makeup and do my hair,” I deadpanned as we approached the familiar room with the sofas. “Not the way Negan likes it, he’s pretty picky with this kinda stuff,” she explains and ai only nod in understanding not that she can see me as she’s pulling me into the room.

There was a mirror set up and a chair in it’s some hair tools and a makeup bag. Frankie pulled me to sit down and Sherry sat across from me on the counter holding the mirror. I looked up at her and we smiled at each other. Frankie and Tanya got to work on my hair. Now that my hair had somewhat dried they put stuff in it and blow dried it then they began to curl it.

After that they pinned my hair in place before moving onto makeup. I felt like a doll as the girls lightly touched my face applying the product. Giving one spray they stepped back as I looked in the mirror.

What the hell? I could barely recognize myself. I wanted to take the mirror and throw it out the window. “I hope you memorized everything we did because all this stuff is yours now. It’ll be delivered to your room in a bit but Negan wants a small ceremony to show you off,” Tanya spoke folding her arms over her chest.

It all made sense now and I could only nod. They began to clean themselves up and a man came in with some food on a platter, placed it on the coffee table, then he left. “Let’s dig in,” Frankie said and the girls all walked over to the platter.

I watched as they slowly picked apart the plate and left some to the side, no doubt for me. Sherry motioned for me to sit by her and I did. “How are you guys handling this so well,” I ask, my throat a little dry from not talking a lot. Tanya got up and went to the fridge and Frankie sighed.

“He gave you an ultimatum didn’t he? Look he isn’t a bad guy, he just does bad things,” I scoffed at her words. “It’s true. Believe it or not…he saved us. He gave us an out and if I have to kiss him or have sex with him every now and then I’ll do it because I know that I’m safe and so is my baby sister,” My eyes widen at her words.

Kiss? Sex? Saved?! It sounded like a bad case of battered wife syndrome. I sighed and shook my head, “I have to have sex with him,” I ask in disbelief. “Well no. I just do it because he’s hot and has a big dick, but he won’t force you to do anything. Kissing though, he doesn’t like to be embarrassed so even a peck on the lips will suffice,” Frankie explains and Tanya snorts as she comes back with a bottle of water for me.

It was cold… I stare at the bottle while Tanya teases Frankie about her relationship with Negan but I pay no mind. My brother… where is he… I need to see him… I can’t do this without him.

I was interrupted by my thoughts before the tears came by a man, “He’s ready for you, Y/N.” Sherry stands up and offers a hand. I take it and we follow the man through hallways before spitting Negan standing at the edge of a ledge, fencing stopping him from a long way down filled with people kneeling.

He turns to me and I watch as his eyes visibly widen and his mouth nearly hangs open. Sherry squeezes my hand and gives me a reassuring smile. I give her the same back as she leaves me to join the other girls.

My attention is turned back to Negan when he clears his throat and offers his own hand. That’s when I spot it, there’s a box in his pocket. I sigh as I take his hand and we walk to the end of the ledge where Negan allows everyone to stop kneeling.

A man comes up from behind us and we’re soon facing each other. The man begins to speak words that were going through one ear and out of the other. That’s when I spot him. My eyes widen and I feel my hand twitch, my brother was staring at me with hard eyes, but he looked visibly better.

“I do.”

My attention is snatched back to Negan and the man, so this is what weddings are like? Negan grins at me as it was not my turn to say the words. “I do,” I speak softly “you may now kiss the bride,” the man states before backing up.

My eyes widen and Negan steps closer to me placing his hands on my waist, his next words shocking me and sending waves to my core, “Is this okay?”

I stutter out a yes and he pulls me close and gives me a firm kiss on my lips. My first one… I hear applause from all around us and I feel Negans lips turn into a smile against mine.

It had been about a week and adjusting to this life was…hard, but for my brother it had to be done. Speaking of, I was allowed to see him today. Nerves shook through my hands as this would be the first time I see him since that day he was nearly huffing out blood on me.

I cringe at the memory as I exit my room. The hallways was a little dingy but there was enough light to see who stood at the ends of the halls or who sweeps them. My thoughts were interrupted by a big burly man and two other guys a bit smaller than him. “Look who we have here, names Clyde,” I roll my eyes and cross my arms but then I see his eyes wander to my chest.

“She’s a sexy little thing isn’t she,” one of the guys behind Clyde speaks causing him to grin, “oh she’s not little in certain areas,” he bit his lip and walked close to me but I kept walking back. “You better not tell Negan, or I’ll have to make sure you never speak about anything to anyone ever again, got it sweet cheeks,” Clyde bit his lips and placed his hand under my chin.

The other guys behind him resorted in blatant insult, “I bet that sluts always on her knees for him. Dress like a whore, look like a wore, bet she fucks like one too,” I spit at Clyde causing his eyes to darken. “You shouldn’t have done that bitch—“

“Y/N!” My body was frozen in fear from the look he was giving me and I turn my head to see Sherry walking up to us. “Back off Clyde. Go shove your dick in a walker,” Sherry grabbed my arms and pulled me away. At first she seemed mad and angry, the grip on my arm hurt but then I looked closer at her body language.

The hand in my arm was shivering and the other hand was balled into a fist also shaking… she was scared of him too. I hear a scoff “That’s not true,” he sounded more like a child now. Sherry only rolled her eyes before dragging me to our room with the sofas.

In this lighting I could finally see the fear behind her, “That was Clyde, Andrew, and Nick… Stay away from them.” Before I could respond Frankie and Tanya greeted me. After the hugs I explained that I needed to go see my brother and excused myself.

“Be careful,” I heard from behind me, it was Sherry.

The way towards the medical wing was… interesting. I nearly got lost and had to ask a guy with a giant letter on his dirty sweatshirt. I forgot the letter and was pointed in the right direction. I wasn’t stupid I knew his eyes weren’t on the ground they were on me, more specifically my chest.

I shivered at the coldness as I entered the medical area. “You must be Y/N,” I heard a voice from beside me a turned to see a man in a white coat, he looked ginger. “What gave it away,” I asked softly causing him to smile, “I’m Doctor Carson. I’ve been taking care of your brother these past couple of weeks.”

“Has it been that long,” I accidentally speak out in front of him causing him the chuckle “I’m afraid so. He’s been waiting for you and don’t worry if he’s snappy. He just learned his sister is married,” he gave me a gentle smile. I nod and make my way to his room area.

“You look like shit,” I speak out to my brother who is currently looking out of a small window having to crane his neck to see. His head whips over to where I’m at and he scoffs “You look even worse.”

I smile softly and approach, my heels clicking on the floor. I sat on his bed and we sat in silence before I spoke up. “I had no choice… it was either he killed you or he treated you either way I’d still be here… I didn’t have a choice… I can’t live without you,” before I knew it there were small droplets placing themselves on the backs of my hands.

“I…. I know. And I understand, just—just…if he fucks with you he fucks with me okay,” I nod at his words and smirk before turning my head to finally face him. He looked so much better and his voice was now clear and not hoarse like it used to be.

“N-Not like that! Idiot,” He nearly shouts causing me to laugh. For the first time in a long time I laughed, and it was because of my brother. “I didn’t even say anything bozo,” he started laughing and then I laughed harder at his laugh.

We both sighed before I leaned forward to hug him, my arms wrapping around his waist, “I’m so glad you’re here. I’m gonna talk to Negan and tell him to move you next door to me,” I mumble loud enough for him to hear me. He chuckles and rubs my back, “If he listens to you.”

I look up at him and give him a weird look but he shakes his head as if to say it’s nothing, but I give him a look that tells him bitch tell me. He sighs and leans closer so I can only hear.

“They thought I was asleep and I over heard some guys were threatening to overthrown Negan. Negan heard and he was fuckin furious I mean he didn’t say it but the way his voice sounded gave me chills. Be careful okay,” I pulled away in disbelief and shock. I give him a nod before we were interrupted by Dr. Carson.

“Visiting time is up,” he gives us a smile and I return one as does my brother. “I’ll see you soon,” I tell him and he waves me off like he jokingly doesn’t believe me. I just didn’t think I’d see him the same day…

After hearing what my brother said about some guys trying to overthrow Negan I made my way to his bedroom. I wasn’t 100% sure he was there but one of the guys mopping told me he should be there, so I made my way to his door.

I knocked for about three times before twisting the nob. My ears filled with moans and screams of pleasure as the door opened wider. My hand left the nob and my eyes went to the sofas in the room where Frankie was on top of Negan with no clothes on.

She was bouncing up and down in him with her hands in her hair moaning rather loudly it’s a wonder I didn’t hear it from outside which probably meant the room was sound proof. I made eye contact with Negan and as soon as I did he shouted, “Oh fuck!”

Frankie turned to look where Negan was looking and gasped before getting off of him and slipping her dress back in then grabbing her heals and leaving the room. She placed one if her hands on my shoulder in a reassuring manner.

I couldn’t help but feel a little upset. Sure we may not be a real couple but I always believed in marrying out of love. And that’s what I did. I married Negan, not because I love him but because I love my brother and I would do anything for him.

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting and instead of looking down at Negans…well little Negan I turned to face his bed instead of straight ahead at him. He sighed and pulled his pants up, leaving his shirt off.

“I told you to wait a minute,” his voice was low and sounded slightly irritated. “I-I didn’t hear it,” I responded and heard him sigh. “Well what is it? You know you have to schedule meetings with me. I don’t like being interrupted and I certainly don’t like unplanned meetings,” okay now he really sounded irritated. He sat in the same position as before on the couch with his legs spread wide.

I clear my throat and shut the door and saw as his eyebrow raised and a smirk grew, “My girls ready isn’t she.” I nearly gagged as I stood before him. “I think I know who wants to take you down,” now hearing that made him sit up “how did you—“

Accidentally I interrupted him “Clyde, Andrew, and uhh what was his name oh yea Ni—“ Negan put his hand up as if to silence me. “Let me stop you right there sweetheart. First you ignore my words and break into my quarters anyway, then you interrupt my sex, then you keep interrupting me when I speak which I should let you know is punishable by death, and NOW your accusing some of MY closest men of treason. Tsk tsk I oughta hang you on the fence,” his voice was laced with venom as his words became harsher by the second.

I could feel the tears fill my eyes as he continued, “Maybe, since you wanna go around accusing people of such shit I should go and make an example out of your brother. Take out his eye? Make you cut off his arm?” My lip begins to quiver as he speaks and I shake my head “N-No please no—“

“Shut the fuck up! I’m tired of you whining when all I’ve done was help you. You should be paying me with your body for wasting so much shit in your brother. This was a mistake, I should’ve just killed you both when I had the chance,” Negan grumbled the last sentence before bringing his hand down his face.

“Leave, I don’t every wanna see or hear you walked into my room with or with out permission or else Lucille is gonna have a nice wet date with your brother,” as soon as he said brother a small sob escaped my lips as I sped walked out of his room.

I wasn’t looking up, I couldn’t. The tears were already coming out and if it wasn’t for all the things he told me the embarrassment from whispers in the halls caused my face to swell with heat.

I continued down the halls not picking my head up and soon the whispers were gone and I was met with the light hum of the dim lights. I sighed and accidentally let out another sob and I pressed my back to a wall and slid down placing my head in my knees.

“Well look at what we have here,” my body froze at the disgustingly familiar voice. I looked up to see Clyde with his buddies Andrew and that other guy. They stood on either side of me quite literally backing me into a corner.

I looked around for help before trying to make a break for the end of the hall but was stopped when a pear of big arms wrapped around my waist and pressed me against him. “Nah ah sweet cheeks, I told you what would happen if you told Negan. Well, hearing about what happened, he probably won’t miss you once we’re done with you,” his breath was hot in my back sending the terrifying kind of shivers down my body.

I tried to fight back I really did…. But there’s a moment when you fight for so long it doesn’t feel worth it anymore. I kicked and tried to scream for what felt like hours. My body squirmed but I was only met with harsh beatings to my body.

I tried to cry out but my mouth was filled with something else—something that made me want to dissolve into a liquid matter and evaporate into nothingness. I felt disgusting and putrid. My wrists felt like they were gonna break, my head was pounding so hard the world felt like it was shaking in a category 5 earthquake, my chest my body was being tossed and turned in ways it shouldn’t.

I could swear I heard a crack and all I could hear were the grunts and laughter filling my ears. The disgusting words thrown at me making me feel smaller than ever. I didn’t even notice they were done until again all I could hear was the familiar hum of the light above me. I felt the cold air on my body and turned to see my dress completely discarded and torn.

I heard my name being called before I blacked out and felt the wet sting of my tears fall from my eyes.

I heard it again, that familiar hum of the lights only now it was louder causing my upper body to shoot upwards. I looked around with wide eyes, it was significantly brighter the walls were stained but they were still somewhat white. I tried to hide myself and felt sheets on my lower half and looked down to see a gown… wait a minute… this is…

“You’re awake,” I hear a voice from my right softly call. I turned to see Sherry, she looked tired and like she had been crying. “The others don’t know. No one else knows… except for me and Dr. Carson. I forced him to uh do the kit while you were unconscious. I’m sorry I just didn’t want you to relive….that” it all came back to me as my lower lip quivered.

She carefully got up and wrapped me in a hug shushing me as I sobbed into her. She held me and I heard footsteps approaching and a door opening. “She’s awake?” It was Dr. Carson.

Sherry pulled away from me and went to sit back in the metal chair but I held her hand and looked at her and the a pleading look. She understood and took a seat at the end of my feet and rubbed them gently. The act intimate causing me to tear up.

“I know it’s scary. And I’m so terribly sorry for what happened. I usually used this room for surgeries but considering what happened I assumed you didn’t want to be surrounded by a bunch of men groaning in pain,” He spoke softly as he sat in the metal chair by my bed.

“I… I would ask you who did this but from what Sherry tells me I’m sure I have an idea. I’ll let Negan kno—“

“No!” I shouted rather loudly and came off pretty snappy. Sherry even flinched while Dr. Carson only sighed, “This could happen again if he isn’t notified, c’mon Sherry you know this,” he was now pleading to the both of us. I looked at Sherry with wide eyes and she only shook her head.

“It wasn’t as bad as yours and it was a different person. He’s dead now,” she explained causing me to nod softly. “I-I can’t. I don’t want to talk to him or see him or even hear about him,” I spat out to no one in particular and Carson just nodded once again.

“I’m gonna need to keep you here over night and make sure nothing happens and that this was all superficial—of course it isn’t-mentally I mean, but uh I’m sorry this is my first time dealing with something this bad,” Dr. Carson stumbled over his words but I got the memo.

“Me too…”

Dr. Carson explained that the bruising in my legs, arms, torso, back, chest, bottom, and neck should go away in a couple of days and if anything gets worse then I should come back immediately. I turned him out after and Sherry listened to what I need to look out for and how to take care of myself.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Most days I spent in my room staring out the window. The bruises on my lower legs and neck had disappeared but the ones on my arms, chest, and back were still pretty prominent so I had to go bad to wearing that stupid black dress only this time Sherry picked out a different one. It covered more skin and my chest, it was also a bit longer than the last.

She told me she had burned the other one and that she covered for me to Negan and anyone who asked where I was. “I was in my period and there was too much blood and the cramps were awful,” I kept repeating this to myself just about every day.

I hadn’t seen or spoken to my brother and I know he saw me leave the medical area. I missed him but I couldn’t face him, I couldn’t face anyone, not even myself. I punched the mirror in a rage and sat on my bed as my hand bled.

Sherry came by that night. I think she’s like superwoman, she always came when I need her… usually. She helped clean my hand then we both cleaned my bathroom together.

I don’t know why I didn’t think of it but now because my dress had sleeves I felt like Ben more compelled as the blade glided through my arm. In that instance I felt my worries wash through me. The water from the shower definitely helped clean it.

When I got out I got some bandages from my first aid kit and wrapped them lightly so they wouldn’t cause a bulge in my dress. I made my way to our room and found it empty.

Nervously my eyes darted around the room and landed on the door more than a few times. Annoyed at my paranoia I got up to get something to eat from the fridge. The opening of the fridge was loud enough to cover the opening of the door to the room.

I found what made my belly grumble and I reached for the pickle jar. Pulling it out and sighing constantly I scream in shock at Negan by the fridge with his arms over his chest. He too jump in shock his eyes wide “Jesus Christ!”

I ended up dropping the jar by my feet, the juice splashed on my feet. I looked down at my feet and the now smashed jar of pickles not wanting to look at Negan. “I’m sorry,” I gave a bow and went to exit the room quickly until a hand wrapped around my arm, that arm….

I shouted in pain rather loudly causing him to let go of me in fear he held me too hard. It wasn’t until I saw him look at his hand that was slightly damp with blood, my blood. Damn… I should’ve put more bandages over it.

“What the hell,” his voice was now confused as he stared at the blood on his hand then looked at my arm. His eyes narrowed as he grabbed my wrist causing me to hiss in pain and carefully pealed back to soaked black fabric.

The first thing he saw was the soaked bandage then his eyes wandered to the bruise leaking out from the folded over sleeve. He took my other wrist gently and pulled me in the direction of his room.

Entering his room I was filled with a familiar feeling of dread and shame. His voice ringing in my ears from that day. I didn’t want to look up, I couldn’t, afraid he’d call me names and ridicule me further. He pulled me down to sit on the sofa in front of him.

I could feel his eyes scan over me, but it didn’t feel like it used to. Was it… pity? Disgust? Disappointment? Maybe even hatred?

“You did that,” he nodded towards my arms. I stared at the soft carpet beneath my feet, “Why?” His voice caught me off guard. He sounded sincere but I wasn’t a fool“It was my fault wasn’t it? You’re not happy.” I didn’t say anything and we sat there in silence.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were unhappy? You know you can come to me for anything,” His voice was soft but my head shot up as soon as the sentence left his mouth.

Rage. Anger. Guilt. Shame. I stood up and stared straight at him and I saw his face, it was firm but his eyes told me he was concerned and confused. I wanted to laugh at him, “You wanna know why I’m so goddamn unhappy?” I nearly shouted at him.

I leaned down to insta my shoes and reached for the hem of my dress pulling it over my body then my head. I threw the dress in the floor and watched as his eyes widened. I couldn’t help it, I was my fathers daughter and when looking in the face of confrontation I get enraged.

“This. This was you. All you! I tried—“ my voice caught in my throat as I tried not to choke up. “I tried to come for you to help and you DIDN’T CARE. Instead you ridicule me and embarrass me! Clyde. Andrew. And Nate,” I couldn’t help the chuckle that came out as I shook my head closing my eyes. “Some husband you are.”

After I said that he shot up out of his seat. I expect him to scream in my face but he only walked out the door, slamming it shut so hard the room shook. I flinched at the loud noise and vibrations before mentally gathering that he did in fact not care.

What was I thinking? I’m such a fucking idiot. After I got dressed I walked to the medical area. I needed to see my brother, I needed to cry to him. I needed… to feel like I mattered.

Once I entered the medical area I noticed Dr. Carson hunched over his desk. I slammed my hands on his desk causing him to shoot up. “Where is he,” I asked rather calmly in attempts to sound composed, though I felt the complete opposite.

I know my brother was discharged a day ago from here, but he needed check ups. Carson’s face contorted into one from confusion to despair. “Y/N… I th—I think you should sit down…” He stood up and pointed to the chair beside me. “Tell me where he is or I’ll burn this entire unit down,” I snapped at him.

I didn’t want to believe it. “He’s gone, Y/N,” my head snapped to the voice in the doorway. Negan. “Shut up! You have no right to be here!” I shouted at the man as I walked over to him practically shoving my finger in his face. “I own this place, Y/N… He was… murde—“

“I said shut the fuck up!” I shouted in Negans face. He only looked at me with sympathy and sincerity “Stop it! Stop that! Stop looking at me like that! It makes me sick,” I spat at him.

He only sigh and gave a nod to Carson who left the us alone in his office. “Looking at you like what,” Negan egged on curiosity getting the best of him. “Like you give a damn about me! You don’t care about me! You just want women to fuck! You are as heartless as a stupid fucking rock! You do things and say things but you don’t mean them,” I shouted at him my chest rising and falling from anger.

“I love you,” he spoke softly looking at me with an unfamiliar look. That pissed me off. “No you don’t! Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” I began hitting his chest and he stood there taking it. I only stopped when his hands grabbed my wrist pulling me into him.

His body heat and warm scent filled my nostrils, that and the smell of the medical wing caused an overwhelming amount of emotions to flood my senses. I began to sob into his chest and I felt his arms wrap around me pulling me into him as we shifted to the ground.

“He’s not—he can’t be!” I let out a painful cry and he responded with brushing my hair down with his hand and rubbing my back, just like how my brother did. I couldn’t take it and I gave in, wrapping my arms around his waist as I wailed into his chest.

After about an hour and a half I was now down to hiccups and sniffles, still in the same position as before. I felt Negans lips press into my head, “He was out in a run with Clyde and Nick… they just got back and… came back with his head. I asked why they had just the head and they said to put it on a stick because he tried to kill them,” my grip tightened around Negan as the tears came flooding back.

“Why?” My voice was weak and hoarse from my previous sobs and wails. I felt him sigh against my cheek, “I asked them the sam—“

“Why did you tell me you loved me,” it seems my question caught him off guard. His hands grasped my shoulders and pulled me back gently so he could look me in the eyes.

“I told you I love you because I do. I love the way you smile, the way your hair looks when it’s not curled, the way your face is when there’s no makeup on it, the way you dress when your not wearing your dress,” my eyes widened in shock at his confession. I watched his eyes soften, “I also hate you. I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the way you make me want to kick all of the other girls out and just have you. I hate the way you look at me when I do or say something that upsets you. I also hate when you don’t look at me, those eyes… they haunt me. And if I could look at one woman the entire rest of my life, it would be you.”

My vision blurs at his words as I look down and feel tears slip from the lids in my eyes. His hand gently pulls my face to look at him “I would do anything to make you feel good. I would burn this whole place down if it meant seeing you smile or laugh.” He leans forward and feel his lips press my skin gently on my cheeks.

I felt hands on me. I felt their hands on me. I felt their breath and their teeth. I heard their laughs and their groans. I tried to push them off and screamed for help. Their hands gripping my wrists so tight it felt like they were going to break off.

“Y/N!!”

I gasp and look around me. It was slightly dark in the room the only source of light came from a bed side lamp—wait a minute. I don’t have a bedside lamp. “Y/N, baby, are you okay,” I heard Negans voice and my body came down from that tense feeling.

“I-I could feel them… their touch and their laughs…” before I knew it I began crying and Negan pulled me into his arms the two of us falling side ways on the bed. It felt good. The bed was soft and sunk under me. The comforter was a big fuzzy black one.

“It’s okay. No ones gonna hurt you again okay? Get some sleep we have a big day tomorrow,” I simply nodded at his words as he pulled the covers over us and held me close.

By the time I woke up the sun was peaking through the curtains and I was fully aware of where I was. Negan’s room. I had been sleeping here for two nights already. I didn’t want to go back to my room or anywhere else.

I left a dress at the end of the bed along with a note and some heels. I sighed and decided to shower before getting dressed. I froze when I saw myself in the mirror. I couldn’t pull myself from looking away. Disgusting. Shame. Hatred. And anger filled me up as I looked at myself.

I clenched my fists and shut my eyes before turning the shower on. It was so much nicer in this bathroom, it made me feel like I was low class and he was middle upper class.

After showering and getting changed I read the note:

Meet me at the spot ;)

-Hubby

I rolled my eyes and carefully made my way to “the spot” I was taken out of my thoughts when I felt someone fall into step with me. I stopped and spotted her brunette hair curled. She turned and smiled softly at me.

“I’m sorry… about your brother,” she reached for my hand and I let her. I didn’t want to cry not now but this was all too overwhelming. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t alone,” I smiled sadly at her and we soon began walking again.

“Dwight met your brother. He really liked him. Said he was sassy and not afraid to show it,” I looked down and frowned at her words. I knew Dwight from Sherry, they were supposed to get married before Negan found them. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s what got him killed,” I said softly but loud enough for her to hear me.

She sighed and came to a stop. We were now just a hall away from “the spot” Negan wanted to meet me at, “Don’t blame anyone but the dickheads that killed him okay? Your brother was one of the good ones, which is pretty hard to come by nowadays.”

I sighed and shook my head in agreement. She shot me a comforting smile and squeezed my hand much like when she showed me off to get married to Negan. I gave her a smile back and let go, turning down the hallway to spot Negan just standing there swinging Lucille back and forth.

I assumed he heard the click clack of my heels because he looked over at me and grinned from ear to ear. Usually I felt disgusted when he looked at me like that but I only smiled at him and he held his arms out to me.

I leaned into his hug as he kissed my head and whispered in my ear, “let’s get this show in the road.” We made our way down to the common area where there was a giant brick made furnace. There were also four men lined up, each had a bag over their head.

I watched from the side as Negan instructed the bags be taken off their heads. My eyes widened as I saw Clyde, Andrew, Nick, and another guy. My hands started to feel clammy as I tightened my grip on the hem of my dress.

I then watched with a mixture of different emotions as Negan beat the shit out of all three guys except for Clyde. He had been blubbering like a baby and whining in fear. I could only stare as Negan forced him to take off his pants in front of all the saviors.

He did something rather unexpected but also expected, he took an extremely hot iron an held it to Clyde’s penis. I watched Negan in adoration as Clyde began convulsing. It looked like he passed out but a few moments later he turned into a rotter.

Negan took a machete from one of his men and chopped Clyde’s head off. He then instructed his men to clean up the mess and put his head on a stick outside the sanctuary. He then looked at me and motioned for me to come over, “Let this be a lesson! You fuck with my girl, Y/N, I will see to it you never get the ability to fuck ever again!” Then there was a roar of cheers and I made eye contact with the girls who were also shouting

Negan brought his hand under my chin pulling me to look at him, “Is this okay?” He asked making my heart flutter and my mind to race before pulling him in for a kiss in front of everyone.

“Negan!” I shouted as I felt his beard tickling my neck. “Mmm” he groaned softly placing more kisses downwards. “You have a meeting in 10 minutes,” I gasped as his hands found their way under my dress. We were seating on the sofa in his room.

It had been a week since he publicly executed those guys. I didn’t want to speak of them, it always managed to ruin my day. “I don’t care. Don’t wanna be interrupted from time with my girl,” he mumbled into the skin on my chest causing me to chuckle.

“Oh yea that’s right you don’t like to be interrupted—oh!” I felt his fingers press against my center causing me to let out a moan and grasp at his hair. “Don’t do that baby, I won’t be able to control myself,” he looked up at me through his lashes and I placed my hand on his cheek.

I smiled and pulled him in for a kiss before we were interrupted from harsh knocking “Come on man, some of us have meetings!” Shouting came from behind the door.

“I’m not done with you sweetheart,” Negan grinned and gave me one last passionate kiss before pulling away and fixing himself up. “Hey,” I called out to Negan who turned around after picking up Lucille, “I love you.”

I was met with a groan and he tossed Lucille aside on the loveseat and turned to open the door, “reschedule the meeting!” I heard him shout before he shut the door and locked.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” he began taking his shoes off and pulling his shirt over his head. “Why don’t you come and show me,” I teased pulling my dress off. That seemed to do it for him and soon he pounced on the bed causing a string of giggles to come out.

It was hard getting used to it, to everything. I didn’t even think to think about someone like Negan in such a light, but he wouldn’t always tell me he cared about me instead he never failed to show me how he felt.

#negan x reader #the walking dead negan #twd negan #negan smith #negan fanfiction #negan imagine #negan x you #negan smut #the walking dead #tw death #self h@rm #suic1de #your not alone #everythingwrongwithizumi #zumific #it was hard writing this ngl

22 notes · View notes