Bruce, running his plan for an undercover operation past the batkids chillin in the living room while post-‘knowing secret identities’ Bernard is there: -and then we will hustle the information out during pool, start stakes low and give them a false sense of security before winning
Bruce: obviously Tim will do that part
Bernard: Tim sucks at pool tho? He can barely make any in and, hell, I made it into culinary school with how many times I was sent to the kitchen to shoot after he hit the cue ball in
Dick: Tim? Our Tim? The one who wins every time? Who was the cause of the rule in the mansion against us ever playing pool
Damien: such a baby, gets stabbed one too many times by sore losers and just has to ruin it for the rest of us
Duke: Tim has hustled all of us outta so much money that at this point it is a part time job for him
Bernard: ??? Tim never wins against me?
All turning to Tim:
Tim, face completely red: he- he always gets so excited when he is winning and he just looks so cute- and his trash talk is basically just flirty banter- and it’s not my fault when he looks like THAT
Tim, shrugging: he just has an unfair advantage over the rest of you, like maybe if any of you were attractive you would start winning pool more too
Jason: and he wonders why he’s been stabbed so many times
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I was shoveling my sidewalk during my lunch break, wearing an ankle-length wool coat, equally long black striped dress with a leather cincher belt, gloves, and combat heels--over all looking like I just finished a long shift at the foul incantations factory-- and these two bright eyed homeschool kids scampered up and offered to help me shovel. I was, frankly, a little shocked at their daring (the last small strange child that I passed on the sidewalk while wearing that coat asked me if I was a vampire).
But then they informed me that we'd actually meet before. I flagged them down at the end of Halloween trick or treating and emptied the entire remainder of my candy into their bags, and apparently bought goodwill for life by doing so.
So I thanked them and hired them to shovel my walk during this weekend's snowfall, because I'll be mostly gone. The kids are all right.
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your little angel of a son inherits katsuki's bad temper, and it manifests in his terrible fours.
there's an awful little shriek that echoes throughout the house and katsuki is on his feet and halfway to the living room before his eyes are even open—but the only danger awaiting him there is a pouty little brat.
his son is sitting amidst a swarm of toys that have been strewn about haphazardly, and his arms are crossed and big fat tears are in his eyes and he looks mad as all hell. you do, too, sitting across from him with a deep frown, holding the ripped page of a book from his little shelf.
"no sir," you warn, "we do not treat our things this way."
you incite a meltdown.
katsuki feels his own temper flaring—half from shock and awe at his little mini-me and also from the exhaustion wearing him thin—when your son kicks his legs out in a burst of rage, letting out another little shriek of anger. your cheeks puff up, wearing the same furious expression, and at the hiss of his name, the little brat jumps to his feet and snatches a toy truck nearby and launches it across the room.
"oi!"
your son's attention snaps to katsuki, startled, losing a hint of anger as he pouts at the floor.
"what'd she just tell you?" and when he gets no response, katsuki prods with a, "hah? answer me."
but the little boy only stamps his little feet and grunts out a furious, wordless sound that has katsuki's lip curling. you let out a heavy sigh, shaking your head at him before frowning down at the torn page in your hands, and then katsuki is planting a hand on the back of his son's head and steering him towards the front door.
"time to take a walk."
the boy goes, even though his arms are crossed and his eyes are downcast. he only resists once, as katsuki tries to shove his little feet into his shoes.
"i don't wanna." he mumbles, face scrunched and wet before promptly looking away.
"i didn't ask."
"hmm!"
katsuki has to resist the urge to pinch his own son.
they get out the door eventually, and the little boy stomps along for the most part, no longer needing a guiding hand on the back of his head once they get around the block a time or two. neither of them say anything.
fatherhood has taught katsuki a lot of things, which was expected, but the one thing that's surprised him is—he's learned all the things he doesn't want his son to be.
the first of them being angry. not the way katsuki was, mean and selfish, throughout his childhood; hateful and careless, in his teens; shut off and simmering, even now.
he waits until the tension has melted off his little shoulders, until his little face has dried and evened out. his arms swing at his sides, occasionally coming up to wipe his snot with the back of his hand, and he eyes the few wildflowers they pass with a little hum and a small smile.
katsuki tugs once on his ear, frowning down at the little brat when he peeks up at him. "that how you're supposed to treat your mama?"
he doesn't answer at first, leaning his head all the way back and clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, until katsuki stops walking. "no, sir."
"how you s'posed to treat her?"
"with love."
"how you s'posed to treat your toys?"
"with care."
"uh-huh," katsuki squishes his son's cheeks in his hand, shaking his head lightly from side to side until he starts giggling. "that how you acted today?"
"no, sir."
"that how y'r gonna act again?"
"no, sir."
"okay," katsuki murmurs, nodding once before letting him free. the little boy bounces on his feet and sucks on his lip, grinning when his tummy is pinched. "now pick those for your mama."
and he does, carefully plucking a small handful of flowers from the grass as they make their way back home, and just before he runs up the steps to the house, katsuki's little angel of a son hands him the biggest one.
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Kon was visiting small town and trying to take a little bit of a breather.
Sometimes things got to be a little too much. For instance, he recently found out that due to some weird niche law, he wasn't a person. He was property.
So even if he ever got tired of essentially being owned by CADMUS, it was them or some government branch called the GIW.
And no one knew anything about the GIW.
So even if he wasn't really with CADMUS anymore, he would never be free of them. Which was. Not great.
So he was just. Taking a small breather.
Sitting on a curb, eating some burgers, and just vibing.
Then someone grabbed both of his shoulders in a death grip.
"Dude, what-?"
"-I'm sorry, but I need you to stay still or I'm gonna get got." A panicked teen voice hissed.
Kon turned his head; there was a scrawny teen with unnaturally clear blue eyes, black hair, and a white knuckled grip on Kon's shoulders as he desperately tried to...keep his feet on the ground?
Then a van came tearing around the corner, with the letters GIW stamped across it. The men that left it were wearing white suits, and were clearly keeping an eye on the terrified kid trying to pretend like he wasn't about to float out of some sort of fear response.
Oh.
Oh, this was another clone. One without the protection of CADMUS or Kal.
Yeah, no.
He's got the kid in his arms and was flying over the mid-sized city in an instant, right before pivoting and retreating to Metropolis.
He needed Kal for this. The man was over his thing about clones, and Kon couldn't face the American Government alone.
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Danny may be a Ghost Baby who feels like an Anicent, but his friends don't.
SO, we all know the Ghost Baby Headcanon by now right? The idea that Danny is literally a Toddler by Ghost Standards, but because of how powerful he is everybody else believes that he is an Ancient or a God who is hogging the Mortal World to himself.
But what about his friends?
They were right there when the Portal opened. No Hazmat Suits, no Cover, no Protection from the Dimension of Pure Energy that had just been opened right in front of them.
That has to have some kind of Side Effects!
And actually, we do know of a Character who was just standing in front of a Portal when it opened and still got affected by it. Vlad.
While Danny was turned into a Halfa instantly, his friends would be more similar to Vlad in that they are slow to transform.
It takes weeks, but eventually they become mini-halfas themselves. Except they didn't have an entire Dimension of energy pushed into them upon fully forming, so their Ecto-Signatures actually feel like the babies they are supposed to be.
So imagine this from the Ghosts perspective.
They meet this guy called Phantom, a Halfa who is Extremely Powerful, but nobody has seen him in centuries. He was known as a very powerful Protector Spirit for millennia, randomly showing up across history, but always helping others. And then he just vanished one day, not seen again for centuries.
Until recently, when he showed in the Mortal World, stopping any other Ghost from fulfilling their Obsessions with Humans. And by his side are 2 smaller Halfa's that feel like they must have barely formed. You can see where this is going.
They think Sam and Tucker are Danny's children.
It makes sense! A Powerful Ancient, known for protecting people, suddenly disappears for centuries and then shows up again with 2 baby Halfa's in tow? That sounds like a Protector Spirit who lost his will to fight, decided to settled down in the Mortal Realm, and then found out that 2 baby Halfa's were formed when a Portal was opened!
He isn't selfishly holding the Mortal Realm to himself! He's protecting the Fledgling Haunt of his 2 Babies! They must still have living Family, that's why he is so adamant that they don't hurt the Civilains in their battles!
Now they just feel like assholes for attacking the Baby's dad when he was just trying to protect their stuff.
Danny finds this both extremely infuriating, and also agonizingly hilarious.
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