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dovechim · 5 years

Text

thy cup runneth over (m)

➾ jeon jungkook x reader, mentions of ot7 x reader

➾ 2.2k

➾ warnings: dirty talk, name calling, mentions of polyamory relationships, hand jobs, lots of cum

➾ jungkook needs help with his dick cup in his pants.

➾ a/n: please dont ask what this was. i dont even know myself anymore :”)

The dressing room is an absolute mess. People running around like chickens with their heads cut off, clothes strewn everywhere, shoes all over the floor just waiting to trip someone. It’s always like this before showtime, all hell breaks loose and you really feel like one of these days you might actually trip over a boot that Namjoon left lying around and break your neck.

“Hey where’s my right shoe?” Namjoon yells from the other room with a jacket half on his lanky frame, a dozen makeup artists hovering around him to make sure he doesn’t mess up his hair.

You toss the shoe to him, muttering under your breath about how no one ever uses the shoe racks provided before going back to helping Yoongi with his jacket. It’s a slight struggle to get the sparkly blazer over his frame, and you can’t help but notice how much broader he has grown since the start of the tour. Even his biceps feel a lot thicker when you grasp them on pretence of helping him with his jacket.

“I know, I know…” Yoongi grumbles under his breath before you can say anything. “I’ll slim down from now on. The golden brat’s been dragging me to his workouts lately.”

“What?” You frown and put your hands on his shoulders, turning him to face you fully. “Who said you could do that? You look nice like this. If you want to bulk up, just do it. I’ll just alter your jackets.”

A brief hint of a smile ghosts across his lips as he brushes his thumb against your elbow in thanks, adjusting his earpiece before his attention is stolen away by a stage manager. You’re just staring after his ass that seems to fill out his pants so much better now when a shout interrupts you.

“Noona, come help me with this,” a demanding voice calls from the other side of the room behind the privacy screen.

Sighing regretfully, you tear your gaze away from Yoongi’s ass- it almost seems to rival Jimin’s now- as you head towards the corner of the room. “What is it- oh my god!”

You immediately close your eyes and whirl around to prevent yourself from seeing anything unholy, putting your hand over your eyes for extra protection. “Jungkook- why the fuck are your pants down?”

It’s not like you aren’t used to things like these, after all, when working with a bunch of sweaty boys under a time limit, things tend to get a little R rated sometimes. But you haven’t actually seen any of them in the flesh, thank god. And if you have anything to say about it, Jeon Jungkook’s will not be the first dick that you see.

“Put some fucking pants on!” You hiss with your back still turned. “For fuck’s sake!”

“I can’t,” Jungkook whines from behind you.

“Everyone’s nearly ready to go and you’re still- come on Jeon, you have to be on in ten!” You turn around carefully with your hand still over your eyes. “Is it safe? Can I look?”

“Noona, I can’t put my pants on,” Jungkook repeats again in a calm voice, and you peek in between your fingers, careful to keep your eyes strictly above chin level. “I can’t put my pants on, I need help with my cup.”

Occasionally the boys have to wear pants without underwear because they’re too tight, and usually they wear athletic cups for a little support. It’s a well-known fact in this industry and no one really makes a big deal about it, you’ve never had to deal with it head on like this before. None of the boys have ever explicitly asked for help in dealing with something as private as this before, and you have to admit that you’re at a loss for words.

Jungkook has the gall to smirk at you as he glances down at his crotch before meeting your eyes again. He lifts an expectant brow as he crosses his arms. “Like you said, we don’t have much time, so if I were you, Noona…”

You close your eyes and sigh briefly. “What’s the problem with it? What do you need help with, specifically? Do I have to… touch it?”

“It’s too small,” Jungkook says simply. “I need a bigger cup. Can you get me one?”

“What?” You narrow your eyes and almost glance down, but manage to stop yourself just in time. “Haven’t you always used the same one? Why would you need a bigger one all of a sudden?”

His answer is simple, and it sets your blood boiling. Jungkook shrugs. “Puberty.”

You hit him over the head hard, and feel no remorse for it whatsoever. “Puberty stopped for you years ago, you stupid punk.”

“Well, unless you want me to go out there with my dick hanging out…” Jungkook sighs as he makes a move to leave the privacy screen, and you panic, placing your hands on his chest and pushing him back in.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” you glare at him before sprinting to the supplies room.

You don’t get paid enough for this. But you need your job, need to pay off that stack of bills waiting for you at home, need that tiny bit of enjoyment that comes from ordering a new bag online, amongst other things.

“Get me an XL cup, noona!” He yells over the chaos of the entire room, and heat singes your cheeks when the Taehyung whoops in approval.

“If he needs XL, I’ll need XXL!” Seokjin retorts in response, turning towards you and unbuttoning his pants, causing you to shriek and close your eyes in fear, nearly crashing into someone else.

“Woah, hey, be careful,” a pair of hands grabs your shoulders and you carefully open your eyes only to see Jimin’s warm smile.

“God, Jimin, sorry,” you breathe out as you make to step around him, but Jimin doesn’t let go.

“XL cup for Jungkookie? You know I’m using the only XL cup we have, right?” Jimin smirks as he pushes his bangs off his forehead. You actually feel your throat dry up at the sight of his piercing gray eyes, but then you snap back to your senses and push him aside.

“Shut up, Park, we all know you’re a medium on a good day,” you brush past him and push open the supplies room door. What is it with these boys today? It’s like all of them are suddenly the horny teenagers that they really are and they’re breathing down your neck.

You rummage around in a few boxes for a while before you come across the right one, full of athletic cups for various sizes. As you sift through them all, it’s painfully obvious that they’re mostly mediums and larges, a few smalls here and there, but no XLs, much less XXLs. You wonder if you can really send Jungkook out there without a cup, but what are you supposed to do if you can’t find a size for him? Even ordering a cup online would take a few days at the minimum.

You’re almost at the bottom of the box with no luck when you pull out a few plastic packages to check the sizes, and to your relief, one of them reads XL. Shoving the box back into place, you race back into the main dressing room, checking your watch to make sure you still have enough time.

Jungkook is still waiting with his pants down behind the privacy screen when you shove the cup at his chest.

“Hurry up, we’re out of time.”

“Can you help me with it?” Jungkook’s pleading voice stops you from leaving immediately, and he grabs your wrist with his other hand. “It’s hard to get it on by myself, and-“

You don’t get paid enough for this. You love your job. You love your job. You need your job.

Holding your breath, you turn around and steel yourself, glancing down at his crotch with your heart pounding in your chest, only to discover that he’s almost fully hard. His cock is dripping with pre cum, and you swear under your breath.

“Jungkook, what the fuck? Of course it’s hard to get it on when you’re sporting a literal hard-on!”

“You were checking out Yoongi hyung’s ass just now, weren’t you?” Jungkook asks calmly, as if his dick isn’t hanging out of his pants, and it isn’t five minutes to showtime. “Is something going on between you and him?”

“What? No- we’re not- I mean, what does that matter?” You avert your eyes from his cock. “Jungkook, you need to calm down, just… think unsexy thoughts or something.”

“How can I think unsexy thoughts with you right in front of me, noona?” Jungkook smirks as his eyes linger on your collarbone exposed by your shirt. “ And if anything’s going on with you and him, I want in too,” Jungkook continues as if you haven’t said anything. “We all do, noona. We were talking about it last night, and we decided we could share you. One of us for everyday of the week. And I get you first.”

It feels as if all the air has been sucked out of the room, and suddenly, it’s hard to breathe. You blink hard, hoping to finally wake up from this daydream, nightmare, fantasy, whatever, but when you open your eyes, Jungkook is still there with his dick out, his dark, smoldering eyes appraising your lips.

“We can’t talk about this right now,” you take a deep breath and steel yourself, glancing behind you to make sure that the privacy screen is secure. “Keep your mouth shut.”

You grab his dick and smooth your thumb over his head, spreading the sticky liquid over his entire length as you start to pump him up and down at a rapid pace, hoping to get him off as fast as possible. He feels hot and hard in your palm, thicker than you expected, and after a while your arm starts to ache, but Jungkook’s little whines and pants spur you on.

“Fuck, that’s so good, you feel so good,” he pants as he leans forward to bury his face into your neck. “Hyungs and I were talking about how tight your pussy would feel. Who’d be the first to be inside you. The first to cum inside you. Which one of our cocks would make you scream the loudest.”

Hearing the youngest say such filthy words almost takes your breath away, but you force yourself to focus on the task at hand, literally. Against your will you start to imagine what it would be like if all the boys had their turns with you, if you were to get on your knees for all of them like some kind of commonplace slut. The thought both shames and arouses you, and you unconsciously rub your thighs together.

Jungkook spots it immediately, his hands coming to cup your hips and pull you into his chest so that his sticky cock brushes against your shirt, leaving a trail behind as you pump him up and down.

“You like that? Getting on your knees for all of us and letting us all cum on your face.” Jungkook thrusts into your hand when your strokes slow down. “Who knew you’d be such a bad girl, hmm? Let me cum all over your tits.”

Sinking down onto your knees, you draw your shirt over your head to expose your satin bra as Jungkook takes over stroking his cock. From your view on your knees, the sight of his sweaty neck, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip and his small little whines and moans has you closing your eyes and eagerly awaiting the warm splash of his seed on your skin. Jungkook cums with a stifled moan of your name, swearing as he jerks his cock furiously so that every drop of his semen lands on your skin, soaking your bra completely.

He milks his cock dry, shuddering as the aftershocks of his orgams run through his body. Junkook glances down to take in the sight of your cum soaked bra before you carefully pull your shirt down to hide it, and he sighs in disappointment.

There is a knock on the privacy screen, and you recognise Yoongi’s voice. “Hey, finish up in there, we’re on in two minutes.”

Your panicked gaze shifts over to Jungkook, but he only shrugs nonchalantly.

“He knows about this? I thought it was just some twisted porn fantasy of yours,” you hiss at him as he motions for you to hand him the athletic cup still on the floor.

“It was true, every single word,” Jungkook admits. “We are serious about sharing you, noona. That is, if you want to.”

You keep your lips tightly pressed together as you gently tuck his soft cock into his pants, sliding the cup over it and making sure everything is in place. Jungkook shifts a little from overstimulation, but you zip him up and pull at your shirt uncomfortably.

Jungkook picks up his hoodie from the floor and hands it to you. Before he can say anything, however, Jimin peeks his head in, disappointed to find everything already over. But then his eyes land on your soaked, almost translucent shirt with a greasy little smirk.

“Tomorrow it’s my turn right?”

#bts #bts smut #btssmutclub #bangtan bookclub #bangtanwriters-net #bts jungkook smut #bts fanfic

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camp-half-mess · 5 years

Text

Hey look I did a thing!

Basically I wanted to write a scene where Cassiopeia was lashing out at Percy because why not? We all love good, angsty arguments on here, right?

Basically, for a bit of backstory, Cassiopeia is angry at Percy for the death of Michael, and though she tries to get over it, she hasn’t been able to yet.

I don’t think there are any trigger warnings for this, unless you don’t like yelling. Death is mentioned, but not explicitly seen.

Enjoy! - Mod Fizzy

--- (dont mind me adding a small cut to make it clearer to my dumb ass brain -A)---

“You alright?” Cassiopeia heard a voice ask. It woke her up from her sleep, sand in her hair and covering her entire body. Great, not again, she thought to herself. For one night I would love to not have to get the sand out of my clothes. She rolled over, the Sun shining in her eyes, causing her to squint. Thanks Apollo, she thought to herself. At least it was morning. She had slept through the night. In her book, that was a success.

“Hm?” Cassiopeia asked groggily, sitting up and brushing the sand off of her CHB shirt. She un-squinted her eyes and looked down at the ground in front of her. She saw a pair of tennis shoes a foot in front of her. As she looked up, she saw jeans, a matching CHB shirt, and a pair of blue-green eyes partially covered by short, choppy black hair. “Percy?!” Her shock caused her to accidentally lie back down again in the sand. The teenager offered her his hand to help her up.

“Here,” he said. “Let me help.”

“No, I got it,” Cassiopeia assured, pushing herself up. She shook the sand out of her hair and brushed it off of her legs. “What are you doing here? Danae didn’t say you were coming,” she said, trying to sound polite.

“Yeah, I didn’t really tell her. I was going to surprise her,” he said, pulling his hand back and rubbing his neck awkwardly.

“Oh, that’s cool,” Cassiopeia said in a chipper voice that was a little too chipper. “I’m sure she’ll be excited to see you.”

“Yeah,” he said again, still rubbing the back of his neck. “Hey, did you die your hair? It looks good.” Cassiopeia looked down at her bare feet.

“Please don’t,” she said. “I don’t want to deal with forced compliments right now.”

“It wasn’t forced- okay,” Percy relented. “So how are things lately with you? We haven’t talked in a while.”

Cassiopeia shot him a strange look. “Things are fine.” She was leaving out a lot of not-so-fine things that had happened, but she really didn’t want to talk about that; especially not with him.

“Really? I heard something about a quest-“

“Things are fine!” Cassiopeia said again, a little louder. She pulled her hair out from behind her ear and let it fall over her face, continently covering her scar. Percy bit his lip, seemingly wanting to ask about the scar, but also seemingly knowing better.

“O…kay,” he said. He paused for a second. “Why were you sleeping on the beach?”

“Take a guess,” Cassiopeia said, not able to hide the hint of harshness in her voice. “You don’t just outgrow sleepwalking.”

“Really? You sleepwalked all the way out here from your cabin? Impressive,” Percy said with a smile, obviously still trying to get the girl to smile back.

“I didn’t start at the- you know what? I don’t want to talk about this,” Cassiopeia decided, and started to walk away before her emotions took control of her.

“W-wait!” Percy called after her, and started to follow. “Cassi, are you-“

“Don’t call me that,” Cassiopeia said, trying to walk faster. “That’s not my name.” Percy drew a sharp breath.

“You used to let me call you that,” he said.

“That was a long time ago,” Cassiopeia said. From the outside, that statement would just make it sound like Cassiopeia stopped using a nickname and preferred her full name. But both of them knew better than that.

Percy took another sharp breath. “Alright, Cassiopeia, are you still mad at me?” Cassiopeia stopped suddenly in her tracks, causing Percy to halt rapidly, almost running into her.

“What did you ask?” Cassiopeia said, starting to lose control. Keep it together, keep it together, she told herself.

Percy took a large step back, which was probably a good idea. “Are…are you still mad at me?” he asked, a little hurt. Cassiopeia took a deep breath. You’ve been trying to forgive him, now’s your chance, she told herself. She bit her lip.

“No,” she said slowly, which was an obvious lie. Percy picked up on this and reached for her hand in a brotherly fashion.

“Cassi, I’m sorry-“ he started, but Cassiopeia ripped her hand away from him as tears filled her eyes.

“Stop it! Don’t apologize anymore, you’re not sorry!” she burst out. “You’re not sorry! Just admit that!”

Percy honestly looked shocked. He hadn’t seen her have an outburst like this in years. Not since after the Titan War. “I am sorry,” he defended. “You-you can ask Orion! He can tell if I’m lying, right? I’m telling the truth.”

“Shut up shut up,” Cassiopeia said, covering her ears. “Don’t bring Orion into this! I don’t care what he says! You’re not sorry! If you were sorry you wouldn’t have done it!”

Now would have been a great time for Percy to leave. Leave Cassiopeia on the beach and let her pull herself together before things got worse. Unfortunately, Percy was more stubborn than she was. “Cassiopeia, I wish I didn’t do it. Really. It was a bad situation, there was only a couple of seconds and I had to make a decision-“

“YOU?! YOU HAD TO MAKE A DECISION?!” Cassiopeia yelled, taking her hands off of her ears and clenching them into fists at her sides. “IT WASN’T YOUR DECISION TO MAKE! YOU WOULDN’T HAVE DONE IT IF ANNABETH WAS ON THAT BRIDGE! OR GROVER, OR ANYONE YOU ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE THAT DECISION!”

“Cassiopeia, it was Michael’s idea,” Percy said. Yes, Percy had told her this before, years ago. Of course, Cassiopeia didn’t believe him. Michael promised he’d come back. He wouldn’t have left her. And even if he did suggest it, Percy was the one who did it. He pulled the trigger. He sent the bridge down. First her mom drove off a bridge, and then Michael died from a collapsing one- at the hand of one of her former friends. It was too much. She couldn’t comprehend it.

“LIAR!” Cassiopeia screeched. “YOU’RE LYING! YOU WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD, WON’T YOU! EVEN LIE TO EVERYONE! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU!”

It was impossible to describe Percy’s face at that moment. And not even Cassiopeia, in all of her pent-up anger and outrage, meant that. Tears were streaming down her face, dampening the sand at her feet. Percy stared at his former friend, hurt, and turned to walk away. Cassiopeia turned around as well and wrapped her arms around herself as she cried, falling to her knees. “And you don’t even care. You don’t even know how amazing he was. I bet you barely remember him,” she mumbled in despair.

Percy stopped and took a deep breath, obviously fighting the urge to say something on that matter. “I’m going to go get Danae,” he mumbled to her. “Maybe she can help.” Cassiopeia didn’t respond, but listened to his footsteps as he walked away.

#fizzy #cassiopeia #fic #writing #idk what else to tag

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kinkyacademia · 6 years

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:0 LADY LUCIFER!! May i please get an apocalyptic/zombie scenario with baku and his s/o and he has a scare and thinks hes lost her pretty pls? Its okay if you dont want to i love your writing!

Oh my God! Why had I seriously never thought of a zombie apocalypse Bakugou? 😍 like seriously, could you imagine how fucking rugged he would look and just… damn… but yes, YES you can have this my Little Rogue! ❤ I was actually in a bad mood when I wrote this one due to one of my artworks being stolen… but hope you still like it…

~Lady Lucifer🐾🐾

TRIGGERS WARNINGS APPLY

💥💥💥His feet pounded against the damp earth as he barreled through the trees, his heart racing but not from the exertion of his muscles; no far worse! Katsuki’s heart was racing for a much more painful reason, he had lost you and of all the times he could possibly lose sight of you it had to be now! His eyes scanned the trees as he pushed himself forwards, he could feel the strain in his muscles and he could feel the air rushing through his lungs as he pushed himself harder. Tears were pricking at his eyes as he ran, whether it was from the wind as it hit them or because his mind wouldn’t shut up about where you could be he just didn’t know. He couldn’t lose you, losing you would mean losing out to this fucked up Zombie Outbreak!

The two of you had survived the past five years together, always on the move and always trying to get out of the way of the damn hordes. You had on several occasions saved Katsuki’s ass when he had decided to stop and fight rather than running away from the zombies, his pride sometimes becoming your biggest enemy in times like that!

“(NAME)!” Katsuki’s voice bellowed through the trees, the sounds of birds taking off in fright reaching his ears. His eyebrows knit together as he ran, there was no reply from you and that had his teeth on edge and his skin crawling.

He swore to all that is unholy that if those stupid Zombie fuckers had gotten their hands on you, he was going to slaughter as many of them as he possibly could! His heart rate spiked as he heard the sound of snapping twigs and turned his head in the general direction. Katsuki could see them, those disgusting walking corpses that would just mindlessly hunt people without a care in the world! As long as they got the human flesh that they desired, everything was peachy to those fuckmunches! In all honesty the damn things were slow ass sacks of shit and Katsuki hated the fact that he had to spend the majority of his time running from them. He watched them as they stumbled and trudged through the trees, they hadn’t yet noticed him though he couldn’t understand how when he had just shouted your name. Katsuki shook his head quickly and turned his attention back to the direction he had been headed, his blood ran cold as his eyes landed straight on the mangled face of a Zombie.

There was barely any room between the two of them, if he had to guess Katsuki would estimate about four meters between them. He held his breath and moved quickly, bolting straight past the damn thing as it’s jaws snapped in his direction; it’s arms flailing about in an attempt to catch him. Katsuki hated those fucks, they looked slow and dumb but they had so much strength to them that once you were caught; you stayed caught!

“FUCK!” His voiced echoed out around him as he ran, his thoughts still lingering on you. His heart was hammering in his chest now, he could barely hear the sound of his own feet landing against the leaves beneath.

“Katsuki…?” His heart stopped for a moment before picking back up at a thundering rate as your voice reached his ears. You sounded dazed and confused to his ears, something that meant you had either been to sleep or had gotten lost!

Katsuki pushed his legs harder, he was tired not only physically but mentally as well. The two of you had been on the run for so long, things just seemed to keep getting worse for you all the time. You had started out in a smaller group of all your friends but the two of you had watched helplessly as some had succumbed to diseases and others had been taken by the zombies. All of it had started to take its toll of both of you quite some time ago but Katsuki would never admit it, though it never stopped the nightmares or the voices that he heard despite there not having been any!

Your head snapped up as Katsuki burst through the trees, his breathing ragged and his eyes were bloodshot from a lack of sleep. He was tired you could see that and in all honesty you felt sorry for the poor guy, he must have been so paranoid about you having been gone from his side. You sat there with your hands in your lap as you watched him, they were covered in blood and you didn’t miss the concerned look that flicked through his eyes when he registered that factor.

Katsuki moved cautiously as he took in the scene before him. He had seriously been hoping that you hadn’t fallen asleep in the forest but now that he could see you like that he wished in a way that you had. Your hands were covered in blood, your face had scrapes and bruises all over it from where you had obviously fallen or run into trees. Katsuki knew how clumsy you could be and he knew how little you would complain about being hurt. His eyes shifted their focus though as he took in what lay behind you. Laying with its mouth gaping open was the decapitated head of one of those filthy shits, its eyes were a milky white as they stared up endlessly into his own crimson ones. He didn’t have to ask to know that you had been attacked by the fucker and had obviously taken it’s head off in an attempt to keep yourself safe.

“Thank fuck you’re safe… I’ve been looking for you for ages! Why the fuck did you wander off from me damn it?” His voice was slightly harsh as he trudged over to you, his hands shaking as he tried hard to contain the sudden rush of emotions that were flooding his body.

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” Your scream had him faltering in his steps as his eyebrows knitted together.

“The fuck you talking about idiot? We need to get the fuck out of here, there’s a horde back there damn it!” Katsuki growled as he jabbed his thumb over his shoulder and moved to your side.

His blood froze as he saw the pool of blood that you had been lying in and he knew it wasn’t the damn Zombie fuckers! His eyes moved, searching for your own only to find them cast down to the ground as tears dripped into your lap. You just sat there as Katsuki moved to grab your shoulders, biting your lip to hold back the pained yelp as his hand landed on your left shoulder. Katsuki’s heart ached as he moved your bloodied top off of your shoulder, tears brimming in his eyes as he saw what was beneath. A ghastly, infected bite was pussing and pulsing on your shoulder; the skin around it a shade of purple the likes of which Katsuki would never forget! He moved his hand gently to prod at the bite wound, it was badly infected and he could see the way it was reacting with your veins as well as your skin tissue. Your skin was taking on a gangly and pale tinge, one that he knew meant that your transformation was already taking place.

“(Name…)” His voice cracked and his chest restricted slightly as his tears ran down his face. “Babe, please….. not…. no! When?” He was confused and in pain, nothing in his head was making any sense to him right now.

“About half a day ago…” Your voice was weak and you weren’t moving your body at all. They were all signs that your change was well underway, more than what your skin and that fucked up bite were letting on.

Katsuki moved, placing a tender kiss on your cheek before pressing his forehead against yours. The two of you had already worked out some time ago that it takes a minimum of one full day for the transformation to take full effect unless elderly, sick or a baby. Katsuki knew you were healthy, he had tried his damn hardest to keep you in top shape while you had been travelling. He ground his teeth together as he reached back into the pouch hanging from his waist, his hand closing around the cold object he was after. The two of you had already talked this over, it was one of those worse case scenario breakdowns that you had forced him to sit through. You had made it explicitly clear to him what had to happen if either of you ever got bitten by one of the Zombies!

You watched Katsuki as he pulled his hand forwards out of the survival pouch, you knew what he was doing and you were glad he had remembered. You watched the pain, confusion and conflict flash through his eyes one after the other; he was hurting so much over this. You leaned forwards into him, your foreheads pressed together as your noses skimmed over one another. Tears were running down both of your faces as Katsuki moved his hand to yours, placing the cold dagger into your hand firmly as his own shook.

Your lips brushed against his before you kissed him gently, pulling back away from him with the dagger in hand. “Thank you, Katsuki…” Your voice was soft and weak as you watched him stand to his feet, you knew he wouldn’t stay for this; he just couldn’t bare to watch!

Katsuki moved and trudged away from you, his heart aching while his body felt numb to him. All that time keeping you safe, all that time trying to keep you alive over himself and he had failed you in the end. Katsuki cursed himself out as he pulled the machetes out of the straps on the sides of his legs, his eyes locking on the horde of Zombies that was fast approaching him. He’d be damned if he let you go without taking out some of those fuckers, hell he knew he wouldn’t be able to take them all but he could at least take out enough to make up for them taking you away from him!

“Wait for me… (Name).” His voice was barely a whisper before he shouted loudly and rushed head long into the encroaching mass of death!

~🐾🐾🐾P.SYou never said how you wanted it to end and I never promised a happy ending! I swear, I’m not TRYING to break your hearts; I promise! ❤

~Lady Lucifer🐾🐾

#katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #request #scenario #bnha #boku no hero academia imagines #mha #my hero academia imagines #zombie au #sfw #angst #lady lucifer

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vyragosa · 6 years

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vyra, i was so inspired & encouraged by you posting ur fanfiction! i loved it so much! i had written this a week or so ago, but i didn’t have the courage to figure out how to send it.

i dont know i want to put my name to it because i dont think tonbokiri and sengo are fully in character (though i would like to grow as a writer until i can write them well), and i also dont want to spam ur blog with it, but i did write it as a kind of “thank you” for streaming mihotose the other week, and i thought that, if you have the courage to post yours, then i want to have the courage to send you this gift, even if mine isn’t all that good.

because of its length, don’t feel pressured to post it onto your blog if you don’t want to! i don’t mind either way. it’s entirely up to you, because as far as i’m concerned, it’s your gift for you to do with what you like. you don’t have to comment on it if you don’t want to, or you can choose to; you don’t have to post it unless you want to; etc. im not sure if this is the best way to send you this, because im still not 100% on how the “submit” feature works, but i hope this is readable;

(put the rest of the message under the cut with the fic v )

(ok so first of all i couldn’t wait to be home and read during a break in the freezing cold and i literally could not stop crying involuntarily, literally unable to stop still) your grasp on them, i just, how raw

the way you wrote their fears and tears? tonbo being so excessive to the point of being incredibly self-destructive, thinking that his words are never appropriate when each time, they are? disregarding his own self for others, for him

sengo being so, so self-contained to the point of facade completely shattering from a single world (which reminds of his face almost choking back tears in mihotose being told he isn’t alone i’m NOT ok) wanting to take care of him instead, to make him realize no one should go that far for him, and especially not tonbokiri

thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this? i’m a bit at loss of words i’m afraid i can’t praise it as much as i think of it but i genuinely cherish it with all my heart, and please don’t downplay yourself like this in the future you don’t give yourself enough credit that i can’t put in words

“Did you sleep better, back then?”

Sengo’s face has turned back to the window, not fully, but so all Tonbokiri can see is the apple of his grinning cheek tremble.

“I would take those unpleasant memories from you, if I could,” Tonbokiri says. He says it quietly, because if he spoke any louder then his voice would crack with its own weight. “Sometimes I wish I could, if it would ease your suffering.”

Sengo laughs wetly. "And then we’d never have met.” “I’d find you still.”

i have another ao3 account invite arriving hopefully soon, so if you want this to be more clean, i could post it there maybe if that would be better. & i have never written for anyone before, and i don’t think anyone has seen anything i’ve written in a few years, so please don’t think too harshly on my characterisations, writing, dialogue, pacing, etc. because i’ve never had anyone to critique my mistakes.

(i also think i started writing this with the intention of it being an au where they had been human but very much like that spies or assassins, like i saw on your blog, so if anything seems strange, it’s because of that! i didn’t mention anything explicitly, but i wanted to give myself some room because i’m not fully familiarised with the canon yet, so that’s why some things may not be in line with canon, even though they may call themselves “spear/sword.“ i wanted to write something in between the phases of them being very traumatised by their life experiences and starting the road to recovery; between them still considering themselves weapons lacking autonomy and them starting to think of themselves as people who can make their own decisions.) as i said, i know there are places where it definitely feels even to me that tonbokiri and sengo are ooc, but i hope you’ll forgive those moments while i begin figuring out how to write them properly. even if you don’t enjoy this so much, hopefully you can use this at least as something to give you different ideas.

~ Tonbokiri is woken by Sengo.

He knows this even before his eyes are open. If he could not tell by the thin fingers brushing back his hair; or the sound of his sleep-husked voice, unusually quiet, unusually tremulous, calling his name; or even the faint smell of cherry blossoms still sticking to Sengo’s skin after they’d taken Monoyoshi to see around the city and the nearest park just the day before … if he could not tell by any of that, then Tonbokiri would know just from habit.

It is in the nature of things like them to awaken fighting; to burst into consciousness at the slightest sounds; to feign sleep while reaching for their knife under their pillow, or to listen to the sounds of the building adjusting to the new weight with wailing creaks and then to launch at their attacker. That is in their training. It had taken some time - though, not nearly as much as either of them had expected - for Tonbokiri and Sengo to adjust to each other’s presence, but now that they have, if he is woken in any manner and his body allows the haze of semi-consciousness to fog his mind, then Sengo must be near, keeping him peaceful.

He is woken by Sengo most nights in some way or another, though not usually for long. A leg thrown over his waist might catch his attention, their hips budging as they shift might stir him, fine hair in his face and tickling his nose will wake him with a sneeze, or the blankets being pulled further to one side than the other might cause him to wake just enough to pull them back. To all of these, Tonbokiri will smile, ensure that nothing in the room is out of place and disturbing him, and drift back to sleep. On less pleasant nights, he is woken by Sengo’s fitful dreaming. Not his nightmares, or at least not the fully-fledged ones - while he knows Sengo has periods where his dreams give him pain, he too often wakes himself first, quiet enough or still enough to never wake Tonbokiri, and instead lets him rest unknowing; and so Tonbokiri only ever catches the after-images of these nightmares: the restless attempt to fall back asleep again, tear tracks on Sengo’s otherwise dormant face, smiles the next day that are a little too wide … all signs of something that Sengo endured right beside him that Tonbokiri missed. Sengo brings them up occasionally, but never seriously, only to tell him something particularly gruesome that he thinks might scare Tonbokiri away, or with a wink and a fluttering hand as if he’s trying to convince them both that he’s telling a particularly overblown ghost story rather than his own memories.

They haunt him like ghosts, certainly, but they’re no less real.

Tonight, Sengo had woken him, but he’s already awake himself, face scrunched into something just a little more serious than his usual pout.

“Muramasa … ?” he murmurs. This is strange to him, and his body is reacting frustratingly slowly. Lovingly slowly; it - he - trusts Sengo implicitly; he can almost imagine his resting muscles asking what such a rush is for, if Sengo is here.

A light is already on in their room, a dim amber glow in the corner from a lamp. Just hazy enough to leave deep shadows in haloed curves around the furniture, but just bright enough to leave a pleasant highlight on Sengo’s face.

“Ah, you’re awake.“ His fingernails scratch pleasantly at Tonbokiri’s scalp, brushing through his hair. Sengo is sitting with Tonbokiri’s head in his lap; he is surprised none of the movement woke him sooner.

“Of course,” he repeats, forcing his eyelids to remain fully open despite his comfort. “Of course,” he repeats, “didn’t you call me?" He thinks he remembers Sengo’s voice, whispering his name. "Is something wrong?”

“Don’t you remember? You were having a nightmare.”

The fatigue seeps from him in an instant, leaving him cold and awake. The cold centres in his chest like ice, but Sengo’s hands near his head are still warm. So it was me who woke him first … It’s troubling to think of how he may have disturbed what little peaceful sleep Sengo had earned just with his own bothersome thoughts. “Oh,” he eventually manages. “Yes, I don’t remember at all. Thank you for waking me from it so quickly.”

Before he can apologise for waking Sengo himself, Sengo’s pout changes shape, and his warm hands travel to Tonbokiri’s chest, thawing that frozen feeling. “But your heart is racing, can’t you feel that?”

“Ah, that,” he says. He notices now that it’s been pointed out. But he smiles up at Sengo rather than think about it. “My heart always races when I look at you.”

Sengo splutters slightly in surprise, face turning a soft pink, glowing in the dusky orange lamplight, framed by highlights of long, feathery hair. Tonbokiri could stare at him for so long …

I wonder if it just got faster. He puts a hand over Sengo’s, both of them over his heart.

The flush doesn’t fade, but Sengo adopts a wry, amused smile, wrinkling his nose mischeviously, eyes twinkling. “Pardon the intrusion, then, if I’ve interrupted a dream in which I’m undressing.”

“It’s no interruption, if you’re the one who wakes me." How could even the most pleasant dream he conjure compare to the real thing? Ah, embarrassing, even the thought makes his cheek heat. "And, I am sorry,” he manages, next, before he blurts out something even more sentimental.

Sengo’s smile doesn’t vanish, but his eyes go wide and study him carefully, scrutinising.

“For waking you,” Tonbokiri explains. “I–”

He is distracted by a flash of deep red slashed across the palm of Sengo’s hand, made noticeable as he moves it from Tonbokiri’s chest to his own lap.

He shoots upwards, almost knocking Sengo backwards with his speed and size. In the light, with the movement, the red shimmers. Tonbokiri forces himself to think rationally despite his hammering heart, to come into a sitting position beside Sengo and move slower; Sengo’s muscles have clenched, shoulders tightened, and his gaze is scanning the room for whatever threat he thinks must have made its presence announced.

Tonbokiri scolds himself internally. He knows what they both are, and he was foolish to react in a way that has left Sengo waiting for an attack, and after Sengo woke him up so gently. His breathing slows purposefully, steadily, and he outstretches his hands to take Sengo’s. Slowly, so that if Sengo wanted to knock his hands away, he could.

But Sengo offers the hand faster than Tonbokiri asks, eyebrows high on his head, offering a faint, “What’s the matter?” into the open air.

Tonbokiri’s thumb presses into the heel of Sengo’s hand as he turns it to examine it closer. A thread of his own hair, dark red, had caught itself on Sengo’s ring finger. His hands had been so gentle that Tonbokiri hadn’t even felt the roots tug in his scalp, even as the strands were drawn with the movement.

His exhale is a heavy huff of relieved air. His thumbs trace the lines of Sengo’s blessedly unblemished palm. “I thought I’d cut you." The red like a river of blood deep in Sengo’s skin … all just a strand of his hair. It had just shone oddly in the light, is all. It had looked like something it wasn’t, and his mind had jumped to its own conclusions.

"You didn’t,” says Sengo, flexing his hand to better see it himself. Then, thoughtfully, almost like a challenge. “You couldn’t.”

Tonbokiri almost traitorously thinks, I have, remembers the dragonfly, then silences that weakness. No matter what his body is capable of, has done, he won’t let it harm Sengo.

“Huhuhu, even without saying any words, the things you think are so loud,” says Sengo, tapping Tonbokiri’s temple with his unhurt hand. “You didn’t, and so what would it matter if you had? I thought you told me you didn’t remember you’d had a nightmare.”

“I can’t remember it,” begins Tonbokiri. “And it would matter, if I’d hurt you.”

Sengo flicks his wrist to dismiss that thought. They’re sitting so close together, and yet Sengo’s face has turned at an angle impossible to read. “But you seem so alert, after waking." With an insincere edge, "Would it make you more at ease if I undressed right now?”

He frowns. “If I can’t remember it, I’d say it hasn’t bothered me so much,” he says. “But … you worry me. Are you alright?”

“You’re such a worrywart. Aren’t you the one with bad dreams?”

“We both have bad dreams." Tonbokiri leans closer now, and Sengo gives him reluctant eye contact. "Did it trouble you when I woke up?”

Now Sengo smiles. It’s tight on his face; a mixture of the false, teasing grins he wears for the others, and the pained, bittersweet twist that sometimes unwillingly slips onto his face. “You didn’t.”

“Trouble you?" Then he realises. He lowers his gaze. "Wake you.”

It isn’t a question, but Sengo still confirms it with a half-shrug, doing his best not to look bothered about it.

“I’m glad, then,” Tonbokiri decides. “That I had that dream and you woke me. No one of us should be awake alone at this hour.”

Sengo shrugs again, more haphazard this time, rising to cross the room to their window and look out over the night. “It’s not so bad. I used to stay up and stare at the stars, before. I would wonder which unlucky one I must have been born under." He flashes a playful grin over his shoulder, one that Tonbokiri can’t return.

Before. Before he was Mihotose. Tonbokiri himself hardly feels as if he’s been here long, although he feels so at peace with the team. But he had spent so long as the spear belonging to just one man before this; Sengo has had many handlers. Does it feel so differently for him? Does time pass differently? There are times when Tonbokiri worries that Sengo feels isolated for being the last of them to join.

"Did you sleep better, back then?”

Sengo’s face has turned back to the window, not fully, but so all Tonbokiri can see is the apple of his grinning cheek tremble.

Sengo crosses back, but so quickly Tonbokiri barely catches a glimpse of his face. His hands grasp Tonbokiri’s shoulders, and his purple head rests above red. “How peaceful … but then I’d have almost no memories whatsoever.”

“Then I’d wish for you to have a different life. A normal one. A human one." Speaking as if they aren’t humans. But, some days, it would be almost more impossible to believe they are.

Sengo laughs wetly. "And then we’d never have met.”

“I’d find you still.”

A drop lands squarely on Tonbokiri’s head. He pretends that it could be possible for it to rain inside their room, rather than feel the deep sorrow in his chest knowing that Sengo is crying.

“I am Sengo Muramasa,” Sengo declares. Bold, but sad. “And not that stranger who lived some normal, human life. If this Tonbokiri … if he has regrets,” he speaks softly, with no judgement, “then I’m sure that that other Muramasa is out there … instead of inside this room, where you’re trapped with the demon.”

“How can I have any regrets in this life that took me to you?" His voice is heavy and wet.

"In this life that’s given you nightmares … you have no regrets? You wouldn’t change it?”

“No.”

“You’d take all those lives again? Walk down this path that you’ve walked down?”

“If you were waiting for me on it, yes.”

A smile curves against his temple. “Liar." Two more raindrops fall from the shadow of a violet cloud above. Tonbokiri is held so closely that he can only see Sengo’s collarbone, from how tightly he is held. "Merciful Tonbokiri”–here, Sengo traces the Siddham on his chest–“he would never shed all that blood for anyone less than his old master. Let alone for something like me.”

Merciful Tonbokiri. He wants to be, he aspires to be, but. He can’t remember what his nightmare was, but he can imagine. His past has given a lot for his dreams to work with. “If there is a price to pay to keep our lives together, to be paid in blood, at the cost of all I’ve shed and all you’ve shed, I would gladly give it all, straight from my own heart." He guides Sengo’s finger from the Siddham to his heart beside it. "If you’d have me.”

Sengo makes a choked noise. His hand curls, his knuckles brush and must surely feel Tonbokiri’s pulse. “So desperate to keep your own misfortunate life, and to make me change mine?”

“Only if it’d make you happy.”

“But how could I possibly be happy if we were living different lives?”

“I’d pay it all the same, if it’d make you happy in this one.”

“Huhuhu, sometimes, you can be a little slow, Tonbokiri." Sengo pulls back so they can see each other, face-to-face. There are tears rolling down so quickly they fall into his smile. "I already am.”

Tonbokiri leans carefully up to place his mouth on Sengo’s. Sengo freezes, one hand still on Tonbokiri’s shoulder, and the other helplessly pressed against his heart. They are still so new at this, and Tonbokiri’s face turns as red as his hair and Sengo starts in surprise almost every time they’ve tried, between failed attempts where they bump noses and turn away, too flushed, before they’ve even gotten close enough.

They part reluctantly, but still so close. Tonbokiri can taste tears on his lips, and he leans his forehead forward against Sengo’s. Sengo’s lips are still parted, upturned.

“Sometimes …" He frowns at himself, for breaking the silence–the ease. For doing it so clumsily, instead of sharply and neatly like the spear he is should be able to do. "Sometimes, it feels as if you aren’t.”

“As if I’m not …?”

“Happy.”

“Sometimes it feels as if you aren’t, either.”

“There is nothing to be concerned about." But, at Sengo’s deadpan stare, he admits, "I … am. More often than not. Being here has helped.”

“That’s not fair, then; you’ve been here longer than I have,” Sengo accuses, biting his tongue playfully at Tonbokiri. “Perhaps even this demon sword could learn to live a happy life if it stays here long enough.”

“Demon sword?” asks Tonbokiri with a laugh. “I don’t think I know of that stranger. I don’t think such a thing lives here, even. The last person to come live with us was, hm, definitely a man, not a demon. One of the kindest and gentlest I’ve ever met.”

“‘Kind and gentle’? Are you certain that you and I are thinking of the same thing?”

“Well, I have met, and talked to, and experienced, and … loved Sengo Muramasa. And I think that both he and I know who he is far better than any of those strangers who spread rumours of demons. Even better than those voices who live in his head and try to convince him those lies are true.”

“'Loved,’” repeats Sengo quietly, in a strange, hoarse voice.

“Yes. I haven’t much experience with it, but I think that’s it.”

“One shouldn’t tease, you know,” Sengo rushes to say, “or play jokes. Not on this demon who is just learning to become a man. That would be cruel even to a Muramasa.”

“I would never. Isn’t it you who says I don’t understand humour very well?”

“And so what you say …”

“… I am always honest with you, Muramasa.”

Sengo laughs, a happy outburst. There are still tears on his face. Tonbokiri kisses him again, before he can think better of it. Sengo’s hands cup his cheeks, and Tonbokiri wonders if he can feel his grin.

They are still so close, chest-to-chest, that when they pull away, Sengo murmurs again, “Your heart … it’s still so fast.”

“I told you; so long as I can see you, my heart races.”

“Then it would be best for me to turn off the light, or you’ll never get back to sleep.”

“That’s alright,” says Tonbokiri. He looks to the window. It’s still so dark outside. But the shadows are hardly daunting when it is so bright in here with both of them. “I think it would be okay for us to stay up just a little longer.”

#submission #unbelievable #unbelievable how raw and emotional

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ginkgo-phyta · 7 years

Text

Breaking the Ice - P.P. x Reader

Title: Breaking the Ice

Regarding: Peter Parker (Marvel) and Reader

Word Count: 1241

Content Warnings: Reader’s Mother; talk of teen pregnancy (Reader does not go through it)

Summary: You love ice skating and one day your classmate since elementary school Peter Parker witnesses you practicing and decides he’s going to ask you out, almost breaking the ice to break the ice.

A/N: Just like the last little fic I posted, this was one I wrote in 2013 but since Spider-Man is back I thought I’d share it once more to a fresh crowd! I hope you enjoy! [Again, not the best but I didn’t feel like re-writing it, and honestly even if I did I can’t be sure it would have been any better lmao]

“Mom, what are you doing?“ You whined as your mother fuss over your appearance; patting away the nonexistent dust from your jacket vest; smoothing your hair down, and pulling the edge of your ice skating dress a bit.

"Just making sure you look your best…” she trailed off, content with her motherly nonsense.

“Mother, I’m going ice skating, not hanging out with boys.“ You gingerly pushed her hand away.

”(Y\N),“ she sighed as you put your foot up onto the dining table chair and put on your tennis shoes, "don’t you think it’s time you start dating?"

You stopped tying your laces and slowly looked up at her, "Mom,” you went up to where she stood leaned against the breakfast table and placed the back of your hand on her forehead, “Are you feeling okay? Are you drunk?"

”(Y/N), I just don’t want you to be so lonely anymore. I mean I’m getting old and I need grandbabies!“

"Oof,” you huffed. Placing a hand on your mom’s shoulder, “Mother I am not lonely. And besides, I haven’t even graduated yet; grandbabies can wait… Unless, of course, you want your daughter to be a teen mom.” You slyly added the last bit, smirking as your mother rolled her eyes.

“(Y/N), you know thats not what I meant."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well you should be more cautious with how you phrase things or someone might misunderstand you.”

Your mom laughed and pushed you towards the front door, “Dont you have practice to get to? Some ice to skate on?” She jokingly asked in a not-so-angry tone.

“Bye mom!” You shouted as you made your way out of the house, “And the next time you see me, I might be pregnant. Fingers crossed it’s a girl so you can-” you had to duck out of the way of a banana speeding towards your head before you could finish your sentence. You laughed at your mom and bid her a do with an ‘I love you.’ Then you started to walk to the ice rink.

You strapped on your skates, tied the laces, put in your earphones and stepped out onto the ice. There was barely anybody there; just the way you like it to be; empty. But there was one person that went unnoticed by your gaze.

Peter Parker sat on the top row of the benches, catching up in some AP Literature when he caught sight of you on the ice. The way you gracefully slid over the opaque, crystallize surface; the way you so effortlessly jumped and twirled in the air made you seem like you were about to take flight; the amount of passion that seemed to flow from your routine- it all mesmerized Peter.

There was no denying that you were one of the cutest things that the boy has ever seen, but now that clumsy little girl who tripped and fell right on top of Peter in the fifth grade has evolved into a gallant dancer. And although he found you “gross” in first grade because he was convinced you had 'cooties’, he was now older and thought you were, well, gorgeous… and not at all gross.

So as this love-struck boy known to the school as Peter Parker, and known to the rest of the world only as Spider-Man, sat on those benches and watched this oblivious girl (Y/N) (Y/L/N) as her skate’s blades etched line paths into the ice, he thought to himself: “I’m gonna ask this girl out on a date today…. okay maybe after she’s done with those figure eights.”

“Oof.” you grunted as your butt landed on the hard ice. Needless to say it hurt, but you were used to it. “Does iron deficiency cause unbalanced-ness?” You wonder, making a mental note to Google it when you get to your bag.

You sat there for a few moments, just looking out at the ice with a blank gaze. When you heard someone speak, “Do you need help; are you hurt?” You merely turn your face to the side to see the person. It was Peter Parker sticking his head out through the doorway that led onto the rink.

"No offense Peter, but you don’t have any skates on so I think I’ll pass.“ You nervously laughed at the expression on his face: wide eyes, surprised by the fact that you remember his name.

"Don’t worry,” he recovered quickly, “I have amazing balance.“ He retorted with a smirk, as if he was telling an inside joke to which only he knew the meaning.

Peter’s POV

I walked out onto the ice using my super amazing Spiderman skills to balance as well as I could. I looked up to see (Y/N) staring at me with an expression that read 'surprised’ and 'vaguely horrified.’ Then I realize that it’s abnormal for people to walk on slippery ice without, well… slipping. So I suddenly stuck my arms out and flailed them as if I were losing balance

"Woah…Woah…Wo- AH!” I tried to accidentally fall so I wouldn’t, like, break my tailbone or something but then I actually slipped and actually fell. And I think I broke my tailbone.

Second Person’s POV

You burst out in laughter as Peter fell right onto his butt, throwing your head back to emphasize how funny you found it. When you stopped and looked over at him, he was rubbing the small of his back with a slight smile/wince on his face. When he saw how hard you had laughed, Peter couldn’t help but chuckle himself. It was really adorable when you laughed and he had a feeling that made him want to make you laugh more.

“Well, so much for the help…” he breathed, scratching the back of his neck.

"Eh,” you waved your hand through the air, dismissing the thought, “It’s no problem.” Peter smiled and you and then shyly looked down, laughing a little- seemingly at himself.

"What’s wrong?“ You questioned, a wider smile growing on your face.

”'What’s wrong’ is that I came over here to help you up, make sure you were alright, and then ask you if you would like to get a coffee with me; but I ended up just falling and making a fool of myself.“

Your heart and stomach jumped at the same time, as if they were playing double-dutch. He wanted to get coffee with you?

"You didn’t make a fool of yourself,” you stated, standing up and offering him a hand. He gladly took it and gingerly stood back up on the ice, stumbling side to side a few times. You brushed the ice off of your backside the skated over towards the little doorway exit, leaving Peter in the dust with his brows furrowed. “Now come on, what are you with waiting for?” You looked back at him, a gleam in your eyes that didn’t go unnoticed.

"W-what do you mean. Go where….?“ Peter asked, thinking you had already rejected him when you didn’t explicitly say yes to coffee. Well he didn’t actually ask you but he had hoped you got the message.

"To get coffee, silly.” You smirked and then ran off as fast as you possibly could with ice skates on.

You most certainly did get the message. Peter stood dumbfounded for a good few second before letting out a breathy chuckle with a shake of his head and running after you

Well, now, isn’t Mom going to be surprised.

A/N: Hope you liked it! Again, this is pretty old and I have been getting this urge to write again after like 4 years so I decided to post some of my old work from my Quotev/Archive of Our Own to sort of get started. Thanks for reading - S xx

#peter parker x reader #peter parker #the amazing spider-man #spider-man: homecoming #tom holland #spiderman

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reprisedpiece · 7 years

Text

Theatre Nerd

Pairing: Connor Murphy x Broadway!Reader

Warning: curse words (as usual)

Request: “do a broadwaystar!reader where Connor have a celeb crush on her and somehow they’re dating”

Word Count: 2074

Note: idrk where the plot of deh is set?? i dont think it was ever mentioned but idk. just pretend deh was set in new york. i dont really know but hey i love theatre nerd connor let’s focus on that

MASTERLIST

If people had to give three words to associate Connor Murphy with, it would be the following – weird, freak, weed. That was how people saw Connor. He has always been confined within the bounds of those three words ever since high school started.

But what they didn’t know about Connor Murphy, the world-class freak from who allegedly threw a printer at a teacher, was a huge theatre fan.

Everyone saw him in the same outfit. It was always the same thing. Black jacket, black jeans, black combat boots, and black earphones.

Teachers and students always assumed that he was listening to metal songs. Some students even thought that he was listening to all sorts of Satanic songs. All because that’s how they stereotyped him.

Well, they were all wrong. In reality, Connor was simply listening to different Broadway recordings. Sure, he listened to other kinds of songs but Broadway recordings have always been his favorite.

No one would expect a boy like him to listen to such genre, let alone smoke weed to Sante Fe from Newsies when he felt sad.

What’s even more shocking was that he was dating you, a renowned Broadway star since birth.

Actually, he wasn’t even sure if he should classify what the two of you had as “dating”. He didn’t know if you see him the same way he sees you, which is full of adoration. All he knew for sure was that he had a massive crush on you.

Sure, you’ve shared a kiss or two. You also have kissed him on the cheek whenever he was feeling too enraged with his father. But the two of you haven’t explicitly told each other how you felt for one another.

Despite not knowing the label for your relationship, you were definitely very close friends.

The two of you met when you were still part of the ensemble for Hamilton. You were standing on the side during a Ham4Ham show when someone bumped your shoulder.

“Fuck, sorry. Some asshole is forcing his way in front and it’s annoying.” He apologized, mumbling the last part to himself.

You smiled. “No worries,” You looked at the tall boy beside you. You giggled at the sight of a tall boy with black-painted nails and a leather jacket standing amidst a crowd. “So, are you watching the show?”

“My sister is. Her annoying friends invited her.” He responded, taking sneaky glances at your direction.

You didn’t think he knew you but you were wrong. Connor had admired you since before your chance encounter. Of course, you didn’t know that. If he was forced to name a famous or celebrity crush, he’d say your name in a heartbeat.

“Oh, I see. You should come see it. It’s pretty amazing.”

He cracked a small grin. “I’m sure it is.”

It started there. It was no denying that the two of you are incredibly close.

And by close, that included a Connor Murphy lying down on your bed.

Despite knowing each other for a year now, you didn’t know much about him. He knew all kinds of stories about you but he still remained to be a very closed person. You didn’t want to pry too much as you didn’t want him to be upset.

So here you were. You still remained clueless on his love for you for Broadway.

That all ended today.

He was softly singing “Four Jews in a Room Bitching” from Falsettos. You were in the bathroom, taking a shower and oblivious to what was happening in your room.

Connor has been listening to the album for a week now. He enjoyed the kind of humor that was observed in the musical.

He was staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars that you stuck up your ceiling from before as he continued.

“Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, all the time.” He sang, his fingers tapping on his beat to the rhythm of the song.

“Oooh, whadda they do for love?” You suddenly singing back. Connor immediately shut his mouth, snapping his head towards your direction.

You got out of the shower, still drying your hair with a towel. He stared at you with awe as he saw you walk out with your baggy “Annie” merchandise shirt and some shorts. He still couldn’t believe he got to meet someone like you, a person whose personality didn’t exactly match his own.

“I didn’t know you knew Falsettos,” You giggled, plopping down beside him. “Are you a closeted musical nerd?”

Connor grew defensive. “Fuck, no. Why would I?” He scoffed, standing up and leaving you alone on your bed.

“Uhm, you’re in a room of a Broadway performer?” You pointed out, laughing quietly.

He glared at you. “Tell me, please.” You begged, pouting your lips a bit for the puppy-dog eye effect. That made Connor’s knees weak.

“Okay, maybe I am.” He sat back down in defeat. “But don’t you fucking dare tell Zoe. She’s never going to let that shit down.” He grumbled.

“I would never!” You acted with fake shock, pushing your own hand against your chest. “I say we put your musical knowledge to the test.”

He groaned. “C'mon! Just to really know how big of a nerd you are.” You say, punching his shoulder lightly.

He began leaning back, attempting to lie back down on the bed. He was expecting to feel the soft bedsheets but instead, his head hit the edge of your knee. He mumbled an apology, trying to scoot down. Instead, you got a hold of his head and softly pulled him towards you so he can prop his head on your lap.

Connor scooted up to do just that, blushing a bit. “Fine. But you owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever you want.” You said quickly. “I’ll sing a song and you can sing the next part!”

“What the fuck, no. This is not ‘American Idol’ and you’re not Ryan Seacrest. You didn’t say anything about singing,” He tried getting up before pushing him back onto your lap.

“Jeez, fine. Just give me the title then.”

“Argh, okay. Let’s get this over with.” You said, running your fingers through his locks.

“Let’s start with easy ones.” He simply hummed in response.

“Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I, and let’s face it, who isn’t? Less fortunate than I. My tender heart tends to start to bleed. And when someone needs-”

Connor mumbled a response.

“What was that?” You asked, leaning the side of your head towards him so you can hear him. It took a lot for Connor to not kiss your cheek right then and there.

“It’s Popular from Wicked, right?” He said, letting his lips ghost over your cheek. You only hoped for him to kiss you there.

“Ding, ding ding! Okay, how about this?“ You sat up straight. ”One day more. Another day, another destiny.” You sang, channeling your inner Valjean.

His eyebrows furrowed. “You literally just said the title, Y/N. It’s One Day More. Damn, that was easy.” You let one of your hands move to his face, pinching his nose.

“Ouch!” He exclaimed, removing your hand from his face.

“Alright, I’ll make it harder.”

Still holding your hand, he couldn’t help but press a kiss onto your knuckles. “Sure, whatever.” You let a grin spread on your face.

“Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh, Cicero, Lipschitz! He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to bl-” You sang, each word rolling off your tongue with ease.

“It’s the Cell Block Tango.” Your eyes widened because you didn’t expect him to know such song.

When he saw your stare, he let go of your hand and his eyes widened. “I mean, I think so? That’s just a guess.”

“Mhmm, sure.” You hummed, braiding Connor’s hair.

He started chipping off some of the black polish on his nails. “Are we done?”

“Definitely not! Next song.“ You looked up, trying to think of another song.

"I got it! You gotta buy her rose, compliment her on her clothes. Say you appreciate that she’s smart. Nah man, you tell her that she excites you sexually. And that’s the way you get to her heart.”

“Voices in My Head?” He slowly crept his hand towards his hair, nudging it against one of your own.

You interlocked your fingers together. “You are impressing me, Connor. Okay, how about this? Meet me halfway. A touch and go of don’t know what to say, do we talk? Don’t expect too much, just walk.”

“Obviously it’s the one from Dogfight? First Date slash Last Night. Everyone knows that.” He answers.

“Actually, not everyone knows that.”

“Really? I though they did. It’s a wonderful song.” He mumbled to himself.

“Last one. Have no fear! You know we got your back from way back.” You sang loudly as that was probably one of your favorite songs.

You were surprised to hear Connor unconsciously sing the next part. “Brooklyn’s here! We’ll get your pay back and some payback.”

It was quiet but you definitely heard it.

Your jaw dropped. “Oh my god, I’m dating a theatre nerd.” You confirmed.

Connor suddenly sat up. “Dating?” Your eyes widened.

“I mean, I kind of thought we were. If we aren’t, that’s totally okay. I just-” You started rambling, waving your hands around in front of you as you tried to take back what you said.

"Shut up,” He spoke, making you silence yourself. “You’re starting to act like Evan for fuck’s sake.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Evan who?”

“Doesn’t matter.” He squeezed your hand. “I like the idea of us dating. I’ve already liked you for a long ass time.” He mumbled the last part to himself.

“You did?” You exclaimed a bit too excitedly as you caught what he said. “Since when?”

He blushed. “From one of your performances.”

“Which one?”

He groaned. “Do I really have to tell y-”

“Was it from Spring Awakening?” You cut him off.

“No.”

“What is when I was an ensemble for Hamilton?”

“Not exactly.”

You sighed in defeat. “Well, where then? Because those are the musicals I know you have watched, the ones where Cynthia dragged you to.“

You leaned against Connor’s shoulder, feeling him tense up at first before relaxing. "Unless, you know, you’ve watched Annie and never told me. ” You continued, pointing at your shirt.

You were expecting a snarky remark from Connor but he just stayed silent.

You felt your mouth curl into a smile. “You did not.”

"Shut up.”

“From there?” You giggled.

“Shut the fuck up, Y/N.”

“You really liked me since I played Annie?” You spoke, chucking as you do.

He turned his body away from you. “I’m sorry if a little kid like me watched and actually liked the show.’ He spoke loudly, taking your laughter the wrong way. “I’ll go, okay. Fuck, I have to pick up Zoe anyways-”

“Connor, relax! I find it sweet,” You grabbed his shoulder before he stood up, facing him towards you. “I just couldn’t believe you waited for so long.”

He held your hand once more. “I couldn’t believe you would date a freak like me. Have you even heard what people say about me in school?”

You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t give a damn about that. I care about this,” You said with a gentle voice, looking at your intertwined hands.

“I care about you.”

Looking down on his feet, he spoke. “You wouldn’t leave me for some handsome broadway guy? Someone less messed up?”

“Of course, not. I would never pass up the chance to be with the one and only Connor Murphy!” You answer, kissing the corner of his mouth.

He bit his lower lip yet a smile still managed to form on his face. “You’re cheesy as hell.”

“I am. But hey, let’s talk about how you sang that line from Newsies.“ You started.

“No.”

You stared at him, wiggling your eyebrows. “You’re a big fan, aren’t you?”

He scoffed. “No.”

“No, my ass. I bet Tommy Bracco is your goddamn idol.”

He stared at you. “Don’t get me started.”

#connor murphy #connor murphy imagine #connor murphy fic #connor murphy x reader #dear evan hansen #dear even hansen the musical #dear evan hansen imagine #dear evan hansen fic #deh #deh imagine #deh fic #deh x reader #mike faist #mike faist imagine #mike faist fic #mike faist x reader

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magic-magpie · 7 years

Text

Birthday Message

Wow, this has got to be the shortest thing I’ve written in a long time. I said I’d write something short, and I did! Huzzah! I got the idea from @otp-fanfic-ideas, so check out their blog if you want some cool ideas! I’ll reblog the one I used, shall I?

UsUk fanfic, 2,398 words.

It’s Alfred’s birthday today! Send him a birthday wish to let him know you’re thinking of him!

Yes, Arthur knew it was Alfred’s birthday. He didn’t need a Facebook notification to tell him that it was his crush’s birthday.

Furthermore, Arthur was always thinking of Alfred. Well, not always. That would be creepy and obsessive. Just enough times during the day to confirm that he did indeed have a crush on Alfred.

If he let Alfred know he was thinking of him, Alfred would know he had a huge-ass crush on him.

But Arthur needed to send him a birthday wish. Alfred was the type of guy who regularly updated his Facebook status, tagged people (mostly Arthur and Matthew) in stuff, posted pictures, the like. He’d consider the lack of a Facebook birthday message an insult.

So Arthur had to send him a birthday message.

The only thing was, he didn’t know how. Not literally; he knew what he had to do to post it, he just didn’t know what to write. Usually he just wrote a quick ‘Happy birthday, Alfred!’ and accompanied it with a picture of his favourite superhero or something, but he couldn’t do that on Alfred’s sixteenth! The sixteenth was special, and so the message had to be special!

Plus, there was the fact that Alfred had sent that birthday message that made his heart flutter and made him fall deeper in love.

Happy birthday, Artie! Sixteen now, bro! Just wanted to say that you’re a hella awesome friend and if I didn’t have you in my life it would be duller ‘cause I wouldn’t have your shining sarcasm to brighten it up! Not to mention your intelligence and sharp wit and all that stuff. Also, your writing abilities are mega-awesome and you’ve got the best imagination I’ve ever seen! So, y’know. Have a hella awesome birthday, and I’m really glad you’re my friend!!

Arthur could not send a simple ‘Happy birthday!’.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard, itching to type what he really wanted to say. He really wanted to tell Alfred what a brilliant person he was; tell him just how seeing his dazzling smile made Arthur’s day better; tell him how his laugh was wonderfully infectious, if loud and obnoxious; tell him about how addictive his shining optimism and hyperactivity were; tell him how his outrageous ideas were simply testament to how much of a genius he was; tell him that he was amazing in every sense of the word.

But that would be the same as typing ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFRED DID YOU KNOW I HAVE A MASSIVE CRUSH ON YOU?’.

So, no.

Sighing in frustration, he procrastinated by finding a good picture of Captain America that he could edit into a Happy Birthday e-card, and then once he found one he procrastinated even more by editing it. And this involved finding a suitable background, painstakingly cutting out the image of Steve Rogers, choosing the right colours and the right font, laying it out correctly, all of which took him an hour to do in total.

An hour later he had a perfect e-card, but no message.

Look, just write something which sounds like something you’d say!

Yeah, but do I use real me or hiding-a-crush me?

Use hiding-a-crush you, for God’s sake! Unless you want to tell him how you feel, which I REALLY don’t recommend. He’s gay, but not gay for you.

Shut up, I don’t need you to remind me!

Scowling, Arthur went back onto Facebook. Conversations with himself surrounding his crush always ended like that, with himself reminding him that he had no chance with Alfred. The boy was cheery, optimistic, sunny, dazzling. Why on Earth would he ever want to burden himself down with Arthur’s cynicism, pessimism, sarcasm, and bluntness? Being Alfred’s love was only a fantasy. A shining, brilliant fantasy.

After debating for about five minutes on what to write, he finally typed in something, uploaded his e-card, and hit send.

Arthur Kirkland > Alfred Foster Jones Happy birthday, wanker. Now you’re sixteen years closer to death.

Satisfied, he switched off his laptop and began messing around on his phone, listening to music and scrolling through Tumblr and whatnot, his mind on other things. In a few hours he’d be going to Alfred’s and the two would be going to the ice-skating rink for his party, along with a few of their other friends who they’d meet there. He couldn’t wait to go to Alfred’s house, to sit with him on the bus, to skate with him, to have Alfred hold his hands as he taught Arthur how to skate, to fall into Alfred’s arms when he would end up tripping...

His notification tone rang out, effectively snapping him out of his wonderful daydream. Irritated, he checked his messages, and scoffed. Turned out it was Francis who’d texted him. Francis was his best friend, but he still didn’t approve of being texted by him when he was in the middle of imagining how Alfred’s strong arms would feel around him.

-Arthur what kind of birthday message was THAT

Arthur stared in confusion before he remembered that everyone could see his birthday message, not just Alfred.

-A fine one. Why do you ask?

-Arthur that was anything but fine you have a CRUSH on this boy why are you like this

Arthur scowled. A few months ago (on Arthur’s birthday, incidentally), Francis had figured out the object of Arthur’s affections when he’d caught sight of Arthur smiling and blushing uncontrollably in response to Alfred’s birthday message, and now he’d taken it upon himself to be his Romantic Advisor. His ‘advice’, however, always seemed to be along the lines of ‘hint until he figures it out’.

-Well, I’m not exactly going to give him a sappy message, am I? He’ll KNOW I like him if I do that!

-Mon DIEU Arthur! You’ll scare him off at this rate!

-Pfft, Alfred knows I wish him well. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have stayed my friend all these years, would he? Honestly, I think sending a heartfelt message would scare him more.

-You are hopeless

Another notification tone rang out, and Arthur pulled down the drop-down menu to read it.

Alfred Foster Jones commented on your picture.

His birthday message popped up, and Arthur felt a little nervous as he scrolled to see what Alfred had said. Despite his words to Francis, there was still the small chance Alfred might take offence, especially considering the sweet birthday message he’d given Arthur.

Alfred Foster Jones Haha love ya too british bastard 😂

Arthur let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, and grinned like an idiot. Alfred hadn’t taken offence, and had even realised that he held him close to his heart.

He’d even said ‘love ya too’.

Arthur hid his face in his hands and did his best to refrain from gleefully jumping up and down, knowing he’d get all four of his brothers coming into his room and being nosy if he did so. So he contented himself with reading the comment over and over again (concentrating especially on the ‘love ya too’ part).

About five minutes later, Arthur’s notification tone rang out again, alerting him to a text that turned out to be from Alfred.

-Dude?

-You there?

Arthur hastened to respond. He didn’t much mind texts from Alfred.

-Yes, why?

The next text made his breath hitch and eyes go wide.

-Francis kinda told me you like me

Arthur felt himself burn with both anger and embarrassment. On the first day Francis had brought up his knowledge of Arthur’s crush Arthur had very explicitly told him not to tell Alfred. And what had the fucker done? God, Alfred probably thought him some sort of weirdo freak now. He wouldn’t want Arthur round at his house anymore, he would probably act awkward and uncomfortable around him now, they’d grow apart instead of closer –

-Wait wait wait dont go and chew francis out!!

Arthur scowled – that was exactly what he’d been planning on doing.

-Why ever should I not? The bastard frog’s embarrassed me.

-Cause youre gonna thank him!

He blinked, and furrowed his eyebrows. Was Alfred saying... What Arthur thought he was saying? Or was Arthur reading too far into it?

-What a ludicrous notion.

-Nah nah nah, its not ludicrous at all!

-Cause, er...

Arthur waited, his heart in his mouth. There was no way – Alfred couldn’t –

-I kinda like you too, Artie.

Alfred could.

Arthur’s eyes widened and a giddy, deliriously happy feeling took hold of him, making his heart beat a million times a minute and making him feel like he was soaring high above the world. He stared at the message until it was ingrained into his memory, not quite believing his luck.

Alfred liked him back.

These two years of desperately wanting Alfred to be his wasn’t for nothing, because Alfred liked him back.

-Artie?? You stil there??

-Yes.

The amount of restraint it took to not keyboard-smash an excited response was quite frankly astounding.

-So?

-Whaddaya say?

-*’What do [I] say’ to what?

-Pfft, grammar nerd 😝

-Anyway, WHADDAYA say to me asking you out?

Oh God.

Was Alfred trying to make him spontaneously combust with joy?

If he’d needed self-restraint before, he needed ten times the amount now. For God’s sake, Alfred had just asked Arthur out! Day after day Arthur had constructed scenarios in which they confessed to each other, but not once had it crossed his mind that it may actually have ended up happening.

Act cool, Arthur. Don’t freak him out.

-I say that’s a wonderful idea, and I’m inclined to respond with a ‘yes’.

Not two seconds later Alfred called him, and Arthur pressed ‘Accept’ only to be met with Alfred’s loud American voice screaming down the phone.

“OHMIGOD WE’RE DATING ARTIE WE’RE DATING HOLY SHIT YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD!”

Arthur could practically hear the wide smile stretched across Alfred’s face. What he wouldn’t give to see it...

“How long have you liked me?” Alfred asked excitedly. “It’s been ten months for me, ever since we went to Alton Towers together.”

“Tch, amateur,” Arthur said, although Alfred’s words made his heart go aflutter. Ten months. For ten months Alfred had liked him. However small a time that was compared to how long Arthur had been yearning for Alfred, it still made him smile uncontrollably. “Try two years.”

“Two years?!” He exclaimed. “How the heck did you survive?! I was going crazy with ten months!”

“You learn a few tricks, I guess. Namely, just act how you acted before developing the attraction.” God, Arthur didn’t know how he was keeping himself so calm when all he wanted to do was jump around with joy.

“I think it’s a good thing that I couldn’t hide it well, though,” Alfred mused.

“How come?”

“Well, Francis found me out. That’s why he told me that you like me, ‘cause he knew about five months ago that I like you. Oh, he also told me to tell you that the only reason he told me that you like me is because – er, what was it – oh, because you weren’t ever going to get the ball rolling, so he had to... Or something.”

It was surprising that Arthur even understood that.

He laughed, not having the will to be irritated at Francis anymore. The bloke had literally just gotten Arthur and Alfred to date – being annoyed at him would be criminal.

“Thank God you wear your heart on your sleeve, hm? I didn’t know how much longer I could take it,” Arthur said. Then, a thought suddenly struck him. “Oh, and I actually do wish you a happy birthday, by the way! I just... I wanted to give you a special message like you did for me, but I didn’t know how to go about it without revealing anything.”

“Oh yeah, that!” Alfred laughed in his wonderful way on the other side of the phone. “I knew you meant well, dude! And it was kinda cute.”

Arthur knew his face was beet red by this point, and he muttered, “Sh-shut up, it wasn’t cute.”

“Pfft, yeah it was! Anyway,” he said before Arthur could protest, “seeing as how we’re now boyfriend and boyfriend, do – d’ya wanna come round to mine now instead of later? If you’ve got other things to do that’s totally fine of course, I just wondered if-“

“Alfred,” Arthur interrupted, grinning. Alfred was a confident bloke, but it seemed that romantic stuff could turn him into a nervous wreck. Now that’s cute.

“I’d love to, Alfred.”

“C-cool!” He could sense that Alfred was relieved. “So, heh, I guess I’ll see you soon?”

“See you,” Arthur said, then hung up, grinning like a lovesick dork at his phone. And then he finally let it all out – all the excitement and euphoria and giddiness just burst out of him as he rolled off his bed and jumped and squealed all over his room, not caring when his brothers came barging in and saw him bouncing up and down like a hyperactive jack-in-the-box.

Alfred was his boyfriend.

His BOYFRIEND.

“What the hell’s gotten into you?” one of his brothers asked, looking truly confused.

“Alfred’s my boyfriend and I’m off to his house so if you don’t mind please get out I need to change, thanks!” Arthur shoved them out and began getting himself ready to go to Alfred’s, the ecstatic feeling not lessening in the slightest.

Ten minutes later he was zipping up his boots when his phone buzzed with a text from Francis.

-So are you going to change your Facebook relationship status yet?

-Alfie has

Arthur couldn’t scowl at Francis meddling in his love life, not after what he’d done.

-I suppose I’ll do it, then. ...Thanks, by the way.

-Always happy to help the romantically-inept 😘

He just knew that Francis was chuckling behind his phone, and so was Arthur. But Francis was right – he should update his relationship status. Alfred was a social media addict, even if Arthur wasn’t.

Arthur Kirkland went from being single to being in a relationship with Alfred Foster Jones.

Less than a minute later his phone buzzed again, this time with a Facebook notification.

Alfred Foster Jones And I couldn't be happier!! 😆

Arthur smiled.

#aph usuk #UsUk #Fluff #Oneshot #My fanfic #gakuen hetalia #I guess #what else do i tag #i honestly have no idea #Cute #Fanfiction

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primadonnatartuffe · 7 years

Text

RYAN: *after hanging out with orchid, ryan's been feeling a little lighter, and leaving skaia to visit people has become that much easier. so with that feeling of freedom, she decides to stop by odimist again. she drapes on colt for a little while before she devotes her time to finn and his new baby. she's just as gorgeous as in the photos, and during the visit, she's found she's really quite fond of hanging out with tiny babies... they're in the living room at colt and little's place, and ryan has lounging with this bundle in her arms for a while now.*

RYAN: hmm sofia sofia... are there any songs about a girl named sofia? there should be.

FINN: -finn's sitting next to the two of them and it's so cute watching sofia get to know ryan. sofia's looking pretty comfortable and staring up at ryan- no but you can replace any song with shakira with sofia

RYAN: ooooh yeah there you go.

RYAN: lets sing beautiful liar.

RYAN: i can be beyonce and sofia can be shakira.

RYAN: ryonce ryonce sofia sofia.

RYAN: lets not kill the karma. lets not start a fight. its not worth the drama for a beautiful liiiaar.

FINN: -sofia gurgles-

RYAN: yeah girl there you go.

RYAN: *snickers*

FINN: already she's more musically inclined than me

RYAN: stick with me kid and well keep you on the right track. *smiles wide at baby*

FINN: -sofia smiles back for a good two seconds and wiggles her arms-

RYAN: uggh shes so cute.

FINN: -he's laughing a little and smiling because he loves this baby so much- i know

FINN: you'd think i'd be used to it by now

RYAN: pretty sure youre never gonna get used to it though. thats just how these things work.

RYAN: my parents still cant get over how cute i am. ;)

RYAN: well nobody can really.

FINN: -too true- it's a hard life

RYAN: for you. us adorable people got it so good. isnt that right sofia?

FINN: -sofia yawns-

FINN: i'm going to be dead in a week at this rate

FINN: just because of the cute from sofia and you combined

RYAN: cool. then i can steal her. >:)

FINN: you're just going to swoop right in and take her

RYAN: yep. and raise her teaching her to better weaponize her deadly cuteness.

RYAN: well be unstoppable.

FINN: sorry sofia i tried to give you a better life

RYAN: time to live a life of villainy with auntie ryan.

FINN: this escalated quickly

RYAN: *SNRK* i think thats the inevitable path when dealing with baby stealing.

FINN: did i turn out to be a villain

FINN: i guess that depends on your definition of -air quotes- stolen

RYAN: i think the definition of stolen is pretty clear cut... but maybe theres a side of finn i dont know... an evil side.

FINN: maybe there is

RYAN: oh my... ;o

FINN: what is that face

RYAN: its a face thats onto your wild ways.

FINN: someone's a little late

RYAN: pfff. okay lets be real were all onto your wild ways.

FINN: i was going to say

FINN: out of all people you really can't be that surprised

RYAN: i really cant be... not when i was there instigating it half the time. *snickers some more. they have fun.*

FINN: -they had a lot of fun. he's still laughing, shaking his head- see exactly

RYAN: *looks down at the baby for a moment after that. the pause is enough for her mind to wander. it's hard to fill in the space with positive thoughts these days.*

RYAN: hey uh this is out of the blue but...

RYAN: the other day? at the kareoke bar? ive been worried that i like.

RYAN: made things weird?? somehow.

FINN: -sofia's getting sleepy. she might be starting to doze off. finn is caught off guard by the question, not exactly expecting it- oh -he says it like a question-

FINN: why what do you mean

RYAN: i dunno.

RYAN: like... i know i was super transparent with the song choices.

RYAN: the mood just seemed to change after i sang that second time.

RYAN: and then you took off.

RYAN: like maybe you thought you were third wheeling or something.

RYAN: uhh... okay so i dont usually make a habit of addressing things like this but ive been encouraged to talk about the stuff thats nagging at my mind.

RYAN: so it doesnt start festering and i have to turn to booze or something to cope haha.

RYAN: ... yeah.

FINN: oh -he definitely doesn't want to make her feel like she has to cope with anything...not because of him, at least.- no no i get it uh

FINN: i don't know i guess i just

FINN: you know when you feel like you're in the middle of something really intimate that's not explicitly so but it still is

FINN: but you feel like you're in the way of it a little

FINN: that was where i was at i guess but it's not a big deal you guys need your time too

RYAN: *frowns* i dunno... i guess.

RYAN: its not like theres a quote unquote you guys.

FINN: -he looks away and shrugs a little- hasn't there always been though

RYAN: ... not anymore.

FINN: i mean i know not technically but -he sighs- it's still there

RYAN: *brows knit* yeah maybe for me.

FINN: i mean jack is completely different than he was three years ago and it's not like we talked during the time you were gone

FINN: so i guess i can't read him anymore but i mean it really seems like there's still something

FINN: but anyway i just

FINN: had a feeling i shouldn't be there

FINN: and it's good you two are hanging out

FINN: and having moments

FINN: and stuff

FINN: after everything

RYAN: *he says all that, but why does it feel like there's something left unsaid. is she being paranoid?* do you really feel that way?

FINN: which part

FINN: i mean it doesn't matter because i do really feel all of it

RYAN: ... i guess that part where you think its good were hanging out and having moments like you said.

FINN: oh

FINN: yeah

FINN: it's a good thing

RYAN: ugggh.

RYAN: why do i feel like its not?? am i being paranoid?

RYAN: maybe im projecting because im afraid to make any moves and i need an excuse not to.

RYAN: i dont know i suck at reading my feelings and intuitions or whatever.

FINN: -he looks ahead- it's hard to know i guess

FINN: after all that time

FINN: you can only really be certain of how you feel

RYAN: *sighs a little. she does know how she feels, at least when it comes to jack.*

RYAN: okay but... i dont wanna make hanging out with us awkward.

FINN: sometimes i just have to discern whether or not i should be there

FINN: it's a life thing

RYAN: ... i guess so.

RYAN: sorry.

RYAN: im being weird.

FINN: no you're not

FINN: i was probably acting pretty weird

FINN: that raises a lot of questions

RYAN: maybe. i probably shouldnt pry. *it raises questions, but none of the questions she should probably be asking... but it doesn't really occur to her.*

RYAN: *face scrunches a little... she looks upset.* i just dont know what im doing anymore. im a mess and i know im supposed to just let myself be a mess and let people help me but i dont want to.

RYAN: i dont even want to talk about this. but i should?? ugh. im not making sense.

FINN: -his expression softens immediately- no no i

FINN: i get that actually

FINN: -he can relate in different ways...but he can still relate to the general concept-

FINN: it's hard

RYAN: *sniffs and leans against him a little, as much as she can without disturbing the baby.* but im lonely too... i dont wanna bring anybody down or make anybody feel bad but this always seems to happen now and i cant shut it off.

FINN: -lets it happen and leans his head against hers just slightly- well you know you always have me

FINN: whether or not you can shut it off

RYAN: *peeks up at him with big tired glossy eyes* ... thanks finn.

FINN: -dONT LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT- yeah

FINN: of course

FINN: you're pretty much stuck with me whether you like it or not

RYAN: heheh... good to know.

FINN: it thought it would be at least a little comforting -he's quiet suddenly-

RYAN: it helps... trust me. *peers at him again when a silence follows.*

RYAN: whats on your mind?

FINN: -avoids meeting her gaze and looks down at a sleeping sofia instead. he sighs- i should uh

FINN: i mean

FINN: i don't want things to be weird

RYAN: *blinks at him, confused* weird??

FINN: yeah weird uh

FINN: i don't know how to say it

FINN: actually uh

FINN: -holds his hands out for sofia-

RYAN: ... okay. *hands her back to him, getting a weird feeling in her gut.*

FINN: -sofia makes a few fussy noises before going back to sleep like nothing had happened-

FINN: i just don't want you to feel stuck so

FINN: if you need to leave you can

RYAN: *leans away again, not really sure what to make of that.* im not really in a rush unless you need me to go...

FINN: no i just mean you might want to uh

FINN: you might want to

FINN: the thing is i should tell you

FINN: even though it will do nothing

FINN: but make things weird

FINN: and somehow it's the right thing to do supposedly

FINN: i don't know why that is

FINN: it doesn't seem like it's going to help at all

RYAN: help... what?? what is it? *she's TRYING not to act weirded out even though she kind of is. but it's mostly just anxiety.*

FINN: i

FINN: have feelings for you

FINN: but it's dumb and it doesn't matter and it's irrelevant

RYAN: you... *processing... processing... but she fails to.*

RYAN: what?

FINN: -his cheeks grow red and he looks a little embarrassed-

FINN: i know it's

FINN: i know it's been obvious probably

FINN: it started years ago before you left and uh

FINN: surprise

FINN: still here

RYAN: uh... *runs a hand through her hair, reeling a little* no?? i mean no it was never obvious to me.

RYAN: jesus was i always so into my own shit i didnt even notice?

RYAN: thats typical. way to go ryan.

FINN: oh

FINN: no it's not your fault you didn't need to pick up on it i didn't want you to anyway

FINN: so points for me

FINN: i guess

RYAN: i... okay...

RYAN: well uh... im glad you brought that up. to get it off your chest? or...

RYAN: shit. im not sure what to say.

RYAN: like its cliched to be all i really like you too BUT...

RYAN: thats cliched and shitty?? you deserve better than that.

RYAN: hahaha you deserve better than me? come on dude lets be real.

FINN: -he just feels bad about it- no i know you don't feel

FINN: like i know you don't feel the same way and that's fine that's okay

FINN: like i didn't expect that or anything i know it's like

FINN: uh

FINN: i don't want to talk about what i deserve because i don't think i really

FINN: i don't want to measure myself that way because i'm not going to pass the test

FINN: you don't have to like

FINN: try to reason with me i know it's useless

FINN: it's always been you and jack from the beginning

FINN: there was never any other real relationship for either of you when you're together

FINN: you asked what's on my mind that's what's on my mind that's why i've been acting weird you don't need to fix it or feel responsible for anything i just

FINN: maybe if you know i can get over it who knows

FINN: or i wreck our friendship i don't know

FINN: i'm pretty good at that haha

RYAN: no finn thats not... thats not gonna happen. im just...

RYAN: *eyes start to water* it sucks that things are the way they are. that i cant... reciprocate i guess.

RYAN: i dont know why im always... chasing after people that im not good for haha. but hey on the bright side thats the case no matter what isnt it?? im not good for anybody.

RYAN: jacks better off without me. so was nona. so are you.

RYAN: and you should know that because yeah itd be in your best interest to move on from that.

RYAN: i know you werent trying to start anything but i-- just... why...

RYAN: im so fucked up.

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] is now an idle chum! --

FINN: -he doesn't know who the fuck nona is but he decides right now isn't the time to ask. hearing her say these things about herself...it stings.- no no no

FINN: i'm not

FINN: fuck

FINN: it doesn't matter if you reciprocate or not and it's

FINN: you're making me sound like some kind of ideal candidate but that's not the case either

FINN: you don't see how much you're worth because you think you've fucked up beyond redemption or something

FINN: but that isn't true

FINN: we all have our shit

FINN: yours looks different than mine

FINN: jack's looks different than both yours and mine

FINN: but somehow you're still here and jack's still here even if we were all gone for a while

FINN: it's not about being good enough that is -lets out an unamused laugh- that's bullshit because who even meets that standard in the first place

FINN: what i do know is that without you around it felt like there was something irreplaceable missing

FINN: the whole time

FINN: sure maybe i became better at putting that feeling behind work but

FINN: i never stopped feeling it

FINN: because damn it ryan you are and you've always been one of a kind and i'm not just saying that

FINN: people that are like you aren't good enough

FINN: i want the real thing hanging around

FINN: crazy theatrical ryan

FINN: loud always pretty no matter what ryan

FINN: you're just -he looks down at sofia- you're worth more than you could ever realize

FINN: a few turns down some paths you don't like don't take that away from you

FINN: i need you to stick around and stay because if your shit makes it so you don't deserve to have people in your life then i am

FINN: i am right there with you

FINN: i'm not buying it

FINN: -he finally stops and...might be tearing up a little-

RYAN: *well, she's definitely started crying listening to all that, but the tears flow quietly. when he's through, she sniffs, trying to process everything with some difficulty... but the important parts stick and she leans forward to gingerly wrap her arms around his neck (careful not to squish sofia) and hold him gently.*

RYAN: youre really important to me... i hope you know.

FINN: -he closes his eyes a little and the tears just roll down his cheeks as she holds him- yeah

FINN: you are to me too

RYAN: ... jack told me that the worst was over.

RYAN: ive been trying really hard to believe that.

RYAN: it hurts knowing how much i was missed but its a relief too? i dont wanna run from people anymore...

FINN: you don't have to

FINN: maybe it's time to start running to people

RYAN: *sniffs* yeah... im gonna... crash into everyone at high speeds.

RYAN: hope you can handle a whole lot of ryan.

FINN: i'm pretty sure i've been training all my life so i'm good

RYAN: fuckin... right on. hehehe... *giggles softly, but then starts to pull away again.*

RYAN: i should probably get going home now though.

FINN: -smiles and nods at her, taking a deep breath- yeah

FINN: i have to put this one to bed anyway

RYAN: yeah... goodnight baby girl. *exhales once more, letting all the bad feelings pass... it's gonna be okay.*

RYAN: ill see you soon finn. *gets up off the couch and makes her leave.*

FINN: -it is. it's really going to be okay- bye ryan

#impenetrablevitality #in which confessions

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