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yurislilygarden · 3 months

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ʚїɞ Self Aware! Hazbin Hotel

ʚїɞ Their reaction after becoming self aware and first thoughts about reader! part 1

ʚїɞ Alastor and Lucifer Morningstar

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ Word count: just about 1.7k

ʚїɞ I planned for all hotel characters first but then I realized how much I'm thinking on each paragraph and its details that I decided to just do 2-3 charas per part😭

Very few characters would notice something wrong on the first watch of the show, but wouldn't realize, nor become self-aware until the 2nd or further watch.

While everyone's reaction would be different with different amounts of stages before total acceptance of the situation, they all would share the first emotion, simple disbelief. They would first need to even process the fact that they're not real, that they were created solely for the purpose of entertaining… something? Someone? In a completely different Universe. That everything that they thought had happened to them before they died didn't actually happen, they were never alive in the first place. Only after that did the emotions and reactions differ. The very first emotion or actual personal reaction would be:

ALASTOR

Irritation with a hint of madness.

His first thoughts about the situation would be how ironic it is that he seeks entertainment for himself while his own person, no, character, was a source of entertainment for whatever was watching them from time to time. It was quite ironic how he said that his face was made for radio when the truth couldn't be further from that. He was literally created solely to be watched on that funny colored box by… whatever was watching him and the others.

He was irritated at not noticing that something was wrong immediately, now he thinks about how blind he was, how obvious everything was. The city is actually quiet, too quiet when the noise and demons aren't needed, when they're not meant to be heard. Nothing actually happened that one time when he was out for a fix of his coat, it just got magically fixed, he went and came back when someone else decided he was to do so. They didn’t have much actual free will when he thought about it and that's what he was mad about. He thought that his deal was a massive problem to him, oh how wrong he was because the problem was you.

He doesn't know how he or the others didn't notice the small, glowing butterfly flying above their heads from time to time. They couldn't be that blind, could they? The little crystal thing (could he break it?) must have done something to be unnoticed for so long. He wondered how long they were watched for, the little thing above their heads seemed to be speaking sometimes, seemingly knowing what would happen… at least he thought so, the words would cut out so often that he was left with a pure guess at one point.

He didn't want to accept that he wasn't real, that he was just a 2D character with the sole purpose of entertaining someone. He was meant to be the one entertained, not you. But he couldn't actually do anything, could he? For sure not until more of the people he knew were aware.

That's also something that he noticed. When it came to the hotel staff and guests, he seemed to be the only one who realized the situation at first. It took a few times of some events repeating before he noticed that someone else from the hotel was noticing the little crystal butterfly above their heads as well.

Alastor seemed to be the first, or one of the very first people who noticed that something was wrong. He wasn't sure if someone realized before him, and if they did then who, but he was somewhat glad that he could finally discuss the topic at least a little once the other hotel patrons found out about the truth. He isn't one to really open up in any way, but this was a matter where he had to communicate with the others.

You. He didn’t know what to think of you at first. He did see you in a more negative light at first, under many emotions hitting him at once which he hated but after he calmed down, he started thinking. At first, he was sure you were some sick person seeking entertainment from the suffering of others, and yeah he was doing pretty much the same, but were you really alike when he wasn’t even real and you were? He was pretty sure that he’s never gonna get used to saying that.

Over time, when he stopped overthinking (he’s gonna deny that he was doing that till the day of his 2nd death), he noticed a few changes. The less negative his posture and thoughts were about you, even if neutral, the more he was able to find out. Alastor was able to pick up more than a few words whenever you talked, he was able to hear you talking clearly enough to recognize a possible gender, and something he wasn’t sure that he wanted to think about, it was way easier to pick up your emotions in your words.

I feel like he would be more lenient towards you if it turned out you were a female (or identified as one), but that would be the mama’s boy inside of him talking. There wouldn’t be too many differences of course, but those who spent enough time around him would be able to tell there's a difference after finding out your gender if it turned out you weren’t a man (again, not too much but it IS noticeable).

He would go from lowkey hating you at first to being mostly neutral with a hint of positive light as you seemed to do nothing but watch, up until later on when everyone is self-aware as well and would talk about the whole thing. Only then would the feelings towards you, the little watcher, as he first called you, turn more positive.

LUCIFER

Massive inner conflict and a complete mix of emotions

He didn’t know what to think. It was hard to comprehend that he didn’t actually live for as long as he thought, that all the things that supposedly happened, in fact never were even close to happening, they were just… a scripted past.

Was all his suffering for nothing? Was it there just to entertain someone? Did those things who watched them enjoy seeing them sad and hurt? He was simply lost on what to think about the whole situation, it wasn't something that he could prepare himself for in any way beforehand.

He was disappointed in himself for not noticing immediately or at least faster that something was not right. He's the literal King of hell! Even if… only in a show apparently… but he still is. No one better say anything about that because he's already on the brink of a yet another breakdown. He cannot take much more.

Should he try doing something about this? Or should he stay quiet and go with the script as he's supposed to? He wasn’t sure about the answer himself and had no one to answer his questions. The thought that what he thought were eons of life was actually a lie was… a little terrifying. Who knows just how much can someone force them to do without caring for their opinions because they don’t know that he and the others are aware of everything now, how much can you cause without their consent? He wasn’t sure if you or anyone else knew about them being self-aware or not.

He would actually try to ignore the little butterfly whenever he would see it, but at the same time, many questions were swirling in his mind.

Why were you around? Did you like to see them suffering? Did you have any control over what you saw? Did you have some sort of control over them? Did you have plans regarding them? Did you-

Yeah, again, he has a lot of questions and absolutely zero answers.

His personal feelings about you were all around at first. Not sure whether he should hate, dislike, or be generally negative about you, be more neutral, or be on the more positive side, especially since you didn't seem to do anything but watch them. Like it's all that you could do when it comes to them, but he couldn't be 100% sure.

Similarly to Alastor, he would be one of the characters who noticed something wrong on the first watch of the show before becoming self-aware quite soon after that. I don't think he, nor Alastor, would notice the other knows too fast, since both try to act like nothing's wrong around others. He did not want to be just a 2D character, something to be watched on a screen. It was… humiliating, in his eyes. He could tell that Charlie and the others weren't aware of anything at first so he didn't speak about it until later on when he was sure that they came to their senses, as he would like to say.

He wondered how long were you actually there before he, or anyone else, started to see or notice you, especially since he could literally hear you. Both as the small insect and the occasional words he was able to pick up. And that's if he was to forget the butterfly was literally, softly fucking glowing. Yeah, they're all blind.

I think that if you’re on the younger side, (which technically is any age a human can be alive at compared to him lmao) he would be a little softer, especially if you're similar to his daughter in character. It would come from the paternal side of his, you would probably remind him of Charlie so much :(

He would be more on the negative side at first, as much as he wishes he didn't straight up assume how you were as a person, it took some time but he went into the more neutral zone before being positive about you after being able to hear more of you talking, as he was able to at least have more idea about your character and wasn't completely clueless like at the start.

Your nickname also got changed to something else, something cuter over time, as Alastor’s name for you, little watcher, was deemed not good enough by everyone (Lucifer's words)

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

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stbot · 1 year

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I've been thinking lately... maybe I should stop worrying so much about why I feel something and just feel it.

#grease rise of the pink ladies #grease rotpl #rise of the pink ladies #rotpl #cynthia zdunowski #grease spoilers #cynthia rotpl #shy guy rotpl #short king ‘wait does this mean i’m a thespian?’ cynthia #shy guy 'i'm jewish though?' edward #baby boy shy guy!!!! my son my child!!#queer solidarity love to see it!#i think i need a gif tag #not to prev tags myself but uh:#cynthia and shy guy are like Peak high school gays trying to date each other bc they can't accept they're gay but know the other is Safe #like i really didn't expect for this to be where his v obvious crush was going but i'm here for it!#love them love this #love to see cyn getting their shit together to apologize #cannot wait for next week!

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originalaccountname · 9 months

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Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is [...] “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss. [...] “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.”

Kafka Asagiri, for the BSD exhibition

On Mori and regret.

This man acts based on his perceived "optimal solution". It means relying on cold logic, detached from (his own and others') emotions. In that way, he fits right in as one of the smart characters of BSD, contrasting for example Dazai's way of working with/around people's feelings, and Fyodor's way of manipulating and twisting those feelings into monsters.

Mori remains cold, logical, distant, efficient. It meant disregarding Yosano's and the soldiers' deteriorating mental health during the war because the concept of an army that cannot be wiped out was too good. It meant following Natsume's plan and taking the old boss' place himself to fix Yokohama's underground and protect the city and its people. It also meant disposing of Mimic by sacrificing Oda in order to get the special ability business permit, despite (and perhaps because of) Dazai's attachment to the man.

The thing is, humans are not logical creatures, and will inevitably encounter conflicting emotions.

(does this look like the face of a man without regrets to you?)

Mori in Dark Era tried to pass on to Dazai his practice of putting aside his own feelings for the sake of choosing the most efficient solution that will benefit the group. It backfired spectacularly, so much so even, that Mori regrets it to this day.

For the BSD exhibition, Asagiri wrote some individual character commentaries, all very interesting insights into their characters and the writing intentions. For Mori, here's what he wrote:

“He who fell out of the optimal solution” Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is described in the novel “Dark Era” and “Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen”. That is “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss. There is an unspoken additional point to it. “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.” We can catch a glimpse of that in this scene. [the ADA-PM alliance meeting] Mori’s expressions after “Burnt it.” and “Like what you did to your predecessor”, gave us a glimpse of his true feelings that were made sacrifices for the sake of the “logical optimal solution”. (By the way, it goes without saying that Dazai is inducing Mori’s thoughts by words that will make him regret the past. It is to make him decide to form an “alliance”.) source and translation: Popopretty

(notice the inclusion of Hirotsu in this scene. Remember that later, Hirotsu suggests that Dazai knows why Mori did what he did to overthrow the old boss, which, in my opinion, is both a proof of Dazai's support in Mori's goal, and a reminder to uphold it.)

One of my favourite parts of the Dark Era light novel is a small scene during the epilogue that was not adapted into the anime. This is two weeks after Dazai defected:

To quote Asagiri again, "Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings." Mori is conflicted about the outcome of the Mimic incident. He holds in his hands the Silver Oracle he himself gave to Oda, and reflects on its purpose: to "help the man mentioned above without hesitation in the face of any and all trials". Didn't he fail to do just that with Oda? Didn't he set him up and sent him to his doom? Didn't he abandon him to his trial?

But he rationalizes the events by saying he got the permit they so badly needed. No matter if he sacrificed one of his men. No matter if he drove Dazai away. He accomplished his priceless goal. It was a total success.

And yet, he poorly folds a paper airplane with the very Silver Oracle he gave Oda, throws it, watches it crash immediately, and mourns the loss of his right-hand man, without ever moving on.

But we have a direct example of Mori expressing regret.

The perception that Mori in BEAST is a completely different character than Mori is in canon, when that perception doesn't extend to any other character from that universe, rubs me the wrong way. The characters in BEAST are very similar to their canon selves, with some core traits getting a new twist. They are all one or two major life changes away from becoming these versions of themselves. As far as we know, Mori's only life-altering event was being forcefully removed from the Port Mafia by Dazai, and secretly put in charge of Atsushi's old orphanage.

Mori unambiguously made that orphanage a better place, as stated by Atsushi himself. BEAST!Mori is a lot softer, vulnerable and honest. That Mori offers to be a father to Atsushi while he heals. He also expresses regret in not being able to help Dazai when he was in his care.

I think it's very interesting, especially when knowing that Asagiri wrote both BEAST and Fifteen at the same time for the Dead Apple movie, because in Fifteen we have this:

The beginning of the first chapter of Fifteen is a gold mine. It is narrated from Mori's point of view, the man of logic and calculations, and yet it is full of doubt. He is alone and struggling to fix everything with so many people against him. But, throughout this scene about grasping at the Port Mafia's power, there is also this secondary thought being woven in, of Mori having started to actually care for Dazai.

The teenager is scary to him, smart enough to be a threat should he decide to be done with all this and turn against him, and yet, he immediately (and with a hint of sadness) finds that Dazai reminds him of himself. This lonely, lonely man found a kindred spirit, bright enough to grasp any situation in seconds and prone to using an uncomfortable obsession to divert and keep you guessing his true intentions. Mori entered Mentor Mode™ then. He taught Dazai his ways, he shared his struggles and thought process, he fought tooth and nail to keep him alive.

So when he asked Dazai why he wanted to die, it was with the concern of someone who has started to care. It was with the mind of someone who is trying to prevent the worst by fixing the problem at its source.

(translation: Reneray)

But it's also that self-projection/ability to relate that made him drive Dazai away, when he pushed too hard and forced Dazai to adhere to his optimal solution philosophy. Because Dazai cannot separate himself from his attachments, could not ignore his emotions like Mori does, and chose Oda over Mori's logic. From Dazai's point of view, that was betrayal. Mori and him were accomplices!

Dazai planted the idea that Mori was afraid of him taking over as boss, and Mori seems to agree with that thought (would it be because he feared for his life, or for Dazai's ability to replace him?) Yet, for a man afraid of his closest subordinate backstabbing him, he seems to be hanging on quite hard to the possibility of Dazai coming back, leaving his seat open to this day, inviting him back twice in the same arc, and...

(yeah I used this picture at the start too. "I hAvE nO rEgReTs" he says)

Mori may try to convince himself he feels no regrets and no guilt over his own actions by weighting gains and losses objectively, but he still hurts and has a very hard time moving on. He's human despite his best efforts, prone to mistakes and doubts. He's lonely and wishes to impart his knowledge onto others. His cold logic has both helped him in fixing the city, and alienated him from some of the people he most cared about.

In a similar vein, should the ADA employee transfer be of topic again, and should Mori clash with Yosano again, I wish we get to see some similar conflicting emotions in Mori between the usefulness of Yosano's ability, and Yosano herself as a person. The war was 14 years ago, that's a long time, and I want to believe that counts for something.

#there carrot i finished it 4 u #i can't be normal about mori and i've been having Many Thoughts about him #i needed that out of my system and lost the plot twice so uh. I hope this reads somewhat fine.#i could have started on twelve different tangents i have SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT MORI #i love mori i'm not even going to excuse or justify myself read the post #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd analysis #bsd meta #bsd mori #bsd mori ougai #bsd beast #bsd beast spoilers #apparently i talk sometimes #what does it mean about him trying to get yosano back all these years later now that she's a grown-up with the means to oppose him?#is it only about her ability? or did 14 years of hardships made him reflect in any way at all?#food for thought (while we wait to see if that plotline gets cancelled or goes anywhere interesting)

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buwheal · 1 month

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Neo that ill never complete <333

I was bored during finals a while ago and whipped out mspaint but oh my GODDD how are you people doing this with your MOUSE??? I was using trackpad and that was hard i cant imagine a MOUSE... WHAT.... You guys using mice are soldiers holy shit

#HOW ARE YOU USING YOUR MOUSE THIS IS INSANE #CRAZY INSANE WILD BONKERS #why does my NEO's design have a normal face but my regular spam uh... uh he looks like that. Why he so wide. I think i need to revise the #way i draw spamton because something is wrong LOLLL #and like i know NEO's face is elongated but MAN why is regular spamton so WIDE!!! like a brick!!#spamton #spamton neo #deltarune chapter 2 #buwheart #can you tell i have a certain pose i usually draw NEO in…. yeah….

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brainworms-all-night-long · 3 months

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We're only at the begining of this one way dream🎵

Sort of inspired by @tornado1992's post from a while back.

Figured these two needed some comfort in between, uh, all that torment they're going through recently. Tails had a nightmare and Sonic can't sleep, so he busted out the good ol' guitar to put a smile on his brother's grumpy face.

Happy Wednesday y'all :]

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incorrect-hs-quotes · 3 months

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ERIDAN: i lovve you…

FEFERI: Swordfis)( slas)( to the c)(est. And you’re on fire.

#submission #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #eridan ampora #feferi peixes #mod terezi #does this count as eridan bullying?#i think it can slide #but then again i am sleep deprived from playing mass effect 2 for the first time #they really gave us the gnc woman of all time had her say she's been with women and proceeded to make her straight #i was robbed i tell you #first tali in me1 now this #i swear if there's a hotted woman in the next game that fits my taste and make her straight i'm gonna launch a planet into the sun #a universe full of women and none are lesbians for shepard #well #at least not on my crew #i know kelly is there but she's a narc and liara is kinda boring when she's not out for blood #i also got to the doctor's brother and uh #they had the perfect autistic character in mordin but they just felt the need to fumble the bag so hard it turned into a skirt

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arthur-lesters-right-arm · 4 months

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Arthur has literally gone like a year without sex/ jorking it he's got to get horny eventually and it's going to be one awkward conversation with John when he has to have that conversation

#John... see humans have uh... needs... and uh #oh god orthur are you going to ask if you can eat a man again #malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #suggestive #arthur malevolent #john malevolent #malevolent arthur #john doe malevolent #malevolent john

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meamiiikiii · 4 days

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mirabelle with two swords!! :D

#in stars and time #isat #isat mirabelle #when in doubt fill space with words and sword hilt mockups SADASA #but yea!! included the hilts for funsies #plus one of the swords is based on the needle sword #and as such one of the hilts has a part for sewing for funsies and wanted to include it #does this possibly make this a less effective weapon due to weight distribution throwing the user off or harder to wield in general?#possibly!! i dont know how swords look!!!!#but it was fun!! so!!! i did it SAFASFAS #might be fun to have everyone else dual wield their starter weapons eventually #but uh #what in the world am i supposed to do with the papier mache hands........... for a cool pose........#need to think on that one #tag talk over lmao

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spaceistheplaceart · 3 months

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In which Gordon finally realizes all his friends died long before he met them

#good job dipshit you just destroyed the last human 🙄#i hope i got across what i was trying to get across #benreys ok dw hes still chillin in the digital space but his body uh... well :(#and well. this does affect him. in the digital space :(#hlvrai splatoon au #hlvrai #gore tw #gore cw #blood cw #blood #gore #op art #comic #listen man... the funny game about squids is so tragic actually--#if u need me to tag it as anything else lmk

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shmorp-mcdurgen · 6 months

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OJ my beloved OJ

Rewatched NOPE recently and doodled OJ from it-

#nope 2022 #nope movie #oj haywood #shmorps art #I think that’s all I need to tag?#anyway yeah uh. it’s my favorite movie. and oj is my favorite guy from it #he just really does not give a shit huh (he gives MANY shits)

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uncanny-tranny · 7 months

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could you elaborate / give links on the transphobia = antisemitism thing? ive never heard of this before and cant find much on it on google except for one kinda surface level article :(

Some tropes of antisemitic transphobia:

Jews are funding trans surgery or surgeons/Jewish hospitals are specifically targeting people (especially those seen as girls) to manipulate into getting hormones surgery

Jewish people are influencing media in order to be "leftist" or "woke." Acceptance of transnes in media, in their eyes, will manipulate people to identify as trans

Jewish people are in "upper echelons" of congress, the senate, and so forth. They will lobby for pro-trans laws to pass for their own interests

Jewish people are "degenerate", believe in "deneracy," and as such, promote transness because it is also "degenerate."

If you want a direct, historical fact, remember Magnus Hirschfeld, a Jewish-German physician and sexologist whose work was done in the rise of Nazism, who founded Institut für Sexualwissenschaft. He was an advocate for sexual minorities including trans people, and was gay himself. His research included sexuality and transgender topics, and the institute even preformed SRS and conducted research on trans topics, which was almost unheard of, officially. His institute was raided by the nazi party, and his citizenship was revoked. His Jewishness was capitalized upon by the nazi party in order to spread conspiracy that the jew was a "social degenerate" who preyed upon the innocent aryan youth and society.

Here is an article outlining a bit of what I've already laid out here.

Here is a video about antisemitism and antisemitic tropes, which you might recognize in modern times applied to other groups

Here is an article from Atlantia, Georgia about antisemitic, transphobic flyers delivered to Atlantic residence, which play in antisemitic tropes

I am begging gentile trans people to learn about antisemitism. I will minority correct you, anon, because I didn't say all transphobia has to be, in turn, antisemitic but that conspiracy about transgenderism is almost always based in antisemitic beliefs about Jews. When you learn more about antisemitism, you can spot it when an antisemite uses it for their transphobic agenda. Learn your history. Trans history has not been separated completely from Jewish history.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #antisemitism #antisemitism tw #i'm not blaming anon for their lack of knowledge about this but... it does kind of sting sometimes knowing that people don't know this #because it is THAT important #PLEASE spread this #okay i need to reign it in because i feel dizzy and ill 👍🫡#so uh. if this comes across as all over the place it's because i was kind of. emotional when answering this so. please understand

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