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yoon-bug · 4 years

Text

The IKEA Test (M) | KSJ

pairing: seokjin x reader

genre: established relationship au || smut, fluff

word count: 9.1k

summary: One review on IKEA’s website called the BRIMNES bed frame the leading cause of divorce due to its difficult assembly. You and Seokjin had laughed when you read it. Now, you weren’t so sure.

warnings: dom!seokjin, sub!reader, sir kink, use of slut/whore, dirty talk, spanking, but spanking with a belt 😳, impact play, oral (f receiving), orgasm control, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, fingering, unprotected sex, hair pulling, IKEA-induced frustration, non-sexual talk of pegs and holes, seokjin ultimately being Best Boyfriend Material™

notes: inspired by how I’ve never felt more grateful to be single than when I had to assemble some IKEA furniture. I promise I’m not getting commission from IKEA for product placement.

When you had told Hoseok that you wouldn’t be able to hang out this weekend because you and Seokjin had plans to assemble your new bed frame, he had laughed at you and said that it was nice to have known the pair of you as a couple.

You had taken his joke in stride and laughed with him, knowing that for any couple to truly go the distance, they would need to pass the IKEA test: make it through an IKEA store and assemble an IKEA product without breaking up.

You and Seokjin had passed the first part of the IKEA test with flying colors. You both had easily agreed to purchase the BRIMNES storage bed, liking how the drawers underneath the bed would help you maximize the space in your bedroom. Although, your easy decision might have more to do with the fact that you had simply ordered your bed frame online rather than spending a whole afternoon in IKEA.

All that was left was for you to actually assemble the bed frame. Surely the two of you could do that.

Or so you had thought.

But now, you were only moments away from ripping up the all but useless instructions to shreds before doing the same to your boyfriend.

“Why are you working on the drawers?” you asked through clenched teeth, the instruction booklet crinkling in your hands as your grip on it grew even tighter. “That’s the literal last step!”

“I think the last step is to break this bed in properly,” Seokjin teased.

“There’s not going to be a bed to break in if we don’t follow the instructions,” you snapped, your frustration growing when he only shrugged. “We’re supposed to start with the bed rails.”

He nodded his head in that wishy-washy way that drove you crazy, the way that said you might be right but that ultimately it didn’t matter.

“We’re gonna have to put the drawers together eventually. Might as well just do it now. And it’s so much easier than dealing with all of this.” He gestured to the stacks of wood laid on the floor around your bedroom.

You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and counted to ten. You then forced yourself to loosen your grip on the instructions.

Earlier, the two of you had just barely managed to avoid an argument when you had insisted on counting and sorting all of the screws, bolts, and pegs before starting to actually assemble anything over Seokjin’s objections that you could just do so as you went. Disagreeing with him about the drawers would only heighten tensions even further.

It was just a bed frame. No need to start a fight over a bed frame.

“Fine,” you agreed stiffly and as much as it pained you, you flipped to the last pages of the instruction booklet.

But as you started to read through the instructions for the drawers — or rather look at the pictures of instructions since there were no words — Seokjin continued to move ahead and try to assemble them without waiting for you to finish doing so.

“Can you just wait until I finish reading the instructions?” you asked, but your tone had it coming out as a demand rather than a question. Hearing how it sounded, you tacked on a quick, “Please.”

He looked up at you with a raised eyebrow at how forced your “please” was and you gave him a tight smile in return.

“Why don’t you read the instructions and then tell me what to do,” he suggested. “I know how much you love to do that.”

His own eyes widened at the passive-aggressive remark that had slipped out and he paused his attempt to shove a wooden peg into one of the holes to look at you nervously. It seemed both of you realized that you were coming close to failing the IKEA test and you hadn’t even started to assemble the bulk of the bed frame.

Trying to push through the awkward tension, you cleared your throat and set down the instructions in front of you. You then reached for a drawer front and its corresponding bolts that needed to be inserted into the holes on the back. Following your lead, he returned to his own drawer.

“Why did we have to get such a difficult bed anyway? There are so many pieces,” he whined.

“Well, it’s too late to do anything about it now,” you sighed, internally agreeing with him. If you had known it would be so complicated, you might have just settled for a regular bed frame and put plastic storage bins underneath it.

As you stuck the final bolt into the back of the drawer face, you let yourself revel in the accomplishment you felt from completing such a small task. With so much still left ahead of you, every win mattered.

You glanced over at Seokjin as you leaned forward to grab the drawer’s side panel from the pile in front of you and froze when you saw him trying to shove a peg into the hole where the bolt belonged.

“Stop. You’re putting a peg into a screw hole,” you told him, reaching out to correct him only for him to move the drawer face away from your grasp.

“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” he grinned, but otherwise ignored you as he continued to try and push the small wooden piece into the wrong hole.

“I’m serious. You’re gonna break something,” you said, but it only seemed to urge him on.

“What am I gonna break? The hole?” he scoffed and you grabbed the instructions to show him the diagram, pointing to where the drawing clearly showed a bolt was supposed to go into the hole where he was currently trying to shove the peg.

“Just look!”

With a roll of his eyes so exaggerated that you were surprised they didn’t fall out of his head, he finally looked at the page in front of him, continuing to mindlessly try and insert the peg into the hole as he did so. His brow furrowed as he looked over the diagram and you could see the realization dawn on him that you were right.

“Oh.”

Unfortunately, just as he saw that he was doing it incorrectly, the peg finally slipped into the hole.

“Shit,” he muttered. He quickly tried to remove it, only to find that it was stuck.

“Seokjin!” you cried and it took every ounce of self-control to keep yourself from wadding up the instructions and throwing them (along with the drawer face in front of you) at his head.

“It’s fine. It’s fine,” he assured you, his voice tense as he continued to unsuccessfully pull on the peg. Clearly, things were not fine.

“It’s not fine! We can’t just buy a replacement part if you break the drawer!” you snapped. He grumbled something under his breath and you decided it was easier to ignore it altogether. You stood up and walked over to the toolbox that was sitting on your dresser, rifling through it until you found the pliers you were looking for.

“Here,” you said, your tone icy as you thrust them out for him to take. “Use these.”

“I don’t need pliers,” he waved you off and your grip on them grew tighter. He stubbornly continued to tug on the peg, now trying to twist it and hope it would loosen. “Don’t worry. You know that I’m an expert at pulling out.”

His playful words were undercut by both the frustration on his face and the way he let go of the peg to run an aggravated hand through his shaggy hair.

“Can’t you ever take anything seriously?” you asked, your voice rising in volume and your patience on the verge of snapping.

“Can’t you stop taking everything seriously?” he bit back, his own patience seeming to run almost as thin. “It’s just a fucking bed frame.”

“Exactly. It’s just a bed frame and I can’t even trust you to do that.” You crossed your arms over your chest in displeasure. “I didn’t sign up to be your nanny.”

“Are you sure about that? Because you seem to really get off on being so controlling.” Your jaw dropped at the insult. “I mean, can you stop being so uptight for five minutes or will you collapse the moment you pull that stick out of your ass?”

Your grip on the pliers still in your hand was now so tight that your fingers were starting to hurt.

“Oh, I’m sorry—” you began with narrowed eyes, only to be cut off when he gave a dramatic gasp.

“You know how to say sorry?!”

“—I’m sorry that I’m too busy being the only adult in the relationship to have any sort of fun,” you continued, raising your voice to be heard over him. “If it wasn’t for that stick up my ass, then there would be no one to make sure that our rent wasn’t late or that our bills were getting paid or that we weren’t investing our money in some multi-level marketing scheme!”

“Hey! How was I supposed to know that Complete Citchen Classics wasn’t a legitimate company?” he asked, acting like you had taken a low blow.

You tossed your hands up in exasperation.

“Fucking Google! That’s how you were supposed to know. Or maybe it’s that they spelled ‘kitchen’ with a ‘c’!”

Pride seemingly wounded from being reminded of how easily he had almost been conned, he went back to forcefully trying to pull out the peg with a scowl.

“Will you just use the pliers?!” you shouted, shaking them furiously in your hand.

“I don’t need — Oh. Oops.”

His eyes moved back and forth from the broken wooden piece in his fingers to the hole where the other half of the broken piece was still stuck — only now there was no longer anything sticking out for you to get a grip on to remove the piece.

It was strange. It was like all of your emotions and frustrations had melted away into pure white. You had never felt this sense of calm before. But as you watched him try to use his nails to pull what was left of the wooden piece from the hole, you realized that it wasn’t calmness.

It was anger so intense that it eclipsed even your own ability to comprehend it.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!" you yelled.

He at least had the decency to look embarrassed, but it did little to soothe your temper. In fact, you felt like if you were in the same room as him any longer then you might have an aneurysm.

“For fuck’s sake, I should have just assembled it myself!” you snapped as you stormed out of the bedroom, throwing the pliers back in the toolbox as you passed it.

The empty IKEA boxes in the living room only stoked your furor the second you caught sight of them. You hurried out of the apartment, grabbing your purse and keys as you went before slamming the door behind you as loudly as you could.

You ended up at your neighborhood movie theatre, mindlessly scrolling through the automated kiosk in front of you to find the movie with the longest running time. You sighed in relief when you saw that there was one that was almost three hours long. From the picture of the movie poster on the screen, it seemed to be some sort of action epic.

Perfect. Maybe watching a bunch of cars and planes exploding for the next three hours would be the perfect outlet for your anger. Satisfied with your decision, you bought a ticket for the showing that was about to start.

You paused as you began to put away your credit card. After a moment, you bought a second ticket for the next showing as well. Six hours of some dumb action movie should be enough to get Seokjin’s idiocy off your mind.

That and the largest tub of popcorn they sold at the concessions stand. You frowned at the long line, knowing you would miss the beginning of the movie, before realizing that you would just catch it during the second showing.

When you finally did quietly slip into the theatre and your seat, you almost immediately found yourself grateful for the mindlessness of the plot. It fully satisfied your need for something that didn’t require you to think any deeper than wondering how the nameless hero would escape capture yet again.

And when the film ended and the next showing began, the thin plot allowed you the opportunity to reflect back on your argument with Seokjin with a cooler head.

It was rare for the two of you to fight, although that was more due to his easygoing nature rather than how harmonious you were as a couple.

You knew you were difficult to be in a relationship with. You were as strong-willed and assertive in your personal life as you were in your professional life. And while your ambitious nature and need for perfection had led to you graduating law school at the top of your class and now one of the leading junior associates at your law firm, it hadn’t been great for your past relationships.

Your exes tended to share the same reasons for why they were breaking up with you: you were too high-strung, you didn’t know how to let loose, you obsessed over every little thing.

Which was why when Seokjin came along, you were surprised by just how well the two of you seemed to fit. He was your exact opposite, but that was what seemed to work.

He was almost never bothered by all the things about you that had driven away other men. When you were too serious, he would crack a cheesy joke. When you needed something to be done a certain way, he let you do it. When you grew frustrated, he was there to calm you.

As you continued down this train of thought, you could feel guilt to bubble up in the pit of your stomach. For all of the times that he had accommodated your demands, could you say the same about yourself? How often were you the one willing to compromise?

Would it really have killed you to just have been more patient with Seokjin, to have tried to explain things more calmly? You ignored the petty voice in the back of your head screaming “yes”. While you still thought that you were right about how to assemble the bed, there had been no need to lose your temper. He was right; it was just a bed frame.

Your thoughts turned to what he could have done once you stormed out. Was he pissed at you? Was he going to try and put the bed together on his own to spite you? Was he happy you were gone? Was he finally starting to rethink whether he could handle spending the rest of his life with someone so controlling?

Your sense of guilt only grew when you came to the conclusion that none of those hypotheticals were probably true. He was probably waiting patiently at home for you and would reassure you that things were fine the moment you stepped through the door. The thought made your heart ache. You didn’t deserve him.

But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t try and hang onto him.

By the time the end credits began to roll, you decided that you were ready to return home with your tail tucked beneath your legs. And if you decided to stop on the way home and pick up dinner from Seokjin’s favorite restaurant to help sweeten your apology then who could blame you.

As you inserted your keys into the lock of the front door, you couldn’t help but think that even the sound of the lock turning was remorseful to your ears. Your guilty conscience was really eating away at you. But as you opened the door and entered the apartment, you froze in shock.

The living room that had been filled with IKEA boxes when you left was now surprisingly empty. It was as spotless as it had been before the bed frame from hell had arrived. It was amazing what just that alone did for easing your anxiety about your fight with Seokjin.

Shaking away your awe, you entered the apartment and softly shut the door behind you. You were slipping off your shoes and hanging up your purse when you noticed something else that was missing — your boyfriend. You set the bag of takeaway on the kitchen counter and that’s when you heard the faint sound of him humming coming from further into the apartment.

Slowly, you made your way towards the bedroom and once you were standing in the open doorway, you gasped in surprise at the sight before you.

Where you had left stacks of wooden furniture pieces and piles of screws and bolts around the room, there was now a fully-assembled bed frame, complete with the mattress placed on top and an almost perfectly made bed as Seokjin placed the final remaining pillow at the head of it.

He looked over his shoulder at the sound of your gasp and gave you an unbothered smile.

“Hey, you’re back,” he greeted as he gave the duvet one last tug to straighten it before standing fully and placing his hands on his waist, looking at the sight of the fully-assembled bed frame and perfectly made bed with pride.

“The bed…” you trailed off, walking towards him to stand at his side.

“Yeah! It looks great, doesn’t it?”

You could only nod dumbly, your mouth still hanging open slightly in disbelief.

“But…the drawer front? The broken peg?”

He turned to you with a mischievous grin before reaching out to grab onto your hips and tug you close. Your hands instinctively came up to rest on his biceps as you continued to stare in wonder at the bed.

“Well, you see, I happen to have this really, really smart girlfriend and she suggested a pair of pliers. It took some digging, but I was able to pull out the peg.” You turned your head away from the bed to look up at him with an amused smile. “In fact, she’s so smart she made us count out all the pieces beforehand so that we knew there were a couple of extra pegs.”

You giggled softly.

“Wow, she sounds like a real catch,” you teased in return and his grin grew wider.

“Oh, you can’t even imagine.”

You shook your head in disbelief before smiling back at him, your affection for him written clearly across your features.

“I can’t believe you put this whole thing together by yourself,” you said and he threw his head back with a characteristically loud laugh.

“Oh, I didn’t,” he finally replied, the humor still present in his voice, and your brow wrinkled in confusion.

“Huh?”

“I just hired someone from TaskRabbit to do it for us. We should have just done that from the beginning,” he told you and this time it was your turn to laugh.

You were sure there were stars in your eyes as you looked up at him, there always were when he managed to take you by surprise. You brought your hand up to fondly brush his hair from his forehead.

“Who knew my boyfriend was so smart?” you grinned and he laughed in return.

“Shh. Don’t tell anyone. It’s our secret,” he whispered.

He then leaned forward to give you a gentle kiss and you smiled against his lips. But when he pulled back, your small smile turned slightly sad as you thought back on the things you had said to him in the heat of the moment and how, even despite your argument, Seokjin had welcomed you back home with open arms and his usual smile.

“I’m sorry for getting so mad,” you said. “You were right. It was just a bed frame. There was no need to lose my temper.”

“I’m sorry, too. I should have listened to you.”

You gave him a small shake of your head, wordlessly assuring him that it was fine.

“I need to stop obsessing over every little thing,” you sighed. “I need to let things go.”

But then he reminded you all over again why you loved him when he just shrugged with a good-natured smile.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine. You can obsess over the little things. That’s who you are.”

“But you—”

“And I’ll get over it because that’s who I am,” he interrupted and you felt your heart bursting with love for him at his words. His expression then turned slightly more serious, wanting you to know he was sincere in what he said next.

“What you think of as ‘obsessing over the little things,’ I just see as part of how driven you are. I love that you don’t settle for taking shortcuts and or letting things that are done half-assed slide,” he explained. “I love it because I’m the opposite. I love that being around you means that I can be who I am because you’re always there to make sure that we do better when we’re together.”

His words meant so much to you that you could feel the way your eyes were prickling with the threat of tears. Always observant, he gave you a sweet kiss before any tears could fully form. When he pulled away, the smile you loved so much was on his lips.

“If all of that means we have a fight when we’re doing what must literally be the most frustrating task on the planet, then I think it’s worth it.”

You raked your fingers through his hair lovingly. You really had found not just the perfect man, but the perfect man for you.

“I love you,” you said and he smiled at you.

“I love you, too,” he replied before bringing his plush lips down to meet yours. He then tugged you even closer as you buried your hands deeply into his soft hair. The kiss grew more heated as he parted your lips with his tongue to slide against yours, causing you to moan softly into his mouth.

You were so lost in his soft lips that you almost missed the way his hand was snaking up your body to gently but firmly wrap his fingers around your throat — almost. He broke the kiss and his hold on you kept you from instinctively trying to close the gap.

When your eyelids fluttered open, you couldn’t help but rub your legs together at the look on his face. Gone was your playful and always understanding boyfriend. In his place was a man who expected absolute submission and had zero patience for any form of disobedience.

“I know you’re sorry,” he started, his voice low and you were sure that your pupils must have been blown wide with how turned on you already were. “But you know that I can’t let you get away with talking to me like that in here, baby girl.”

“Yes, sir,” you breathed out. When he gave your throat a slow squeeze, you let out a small whimper.

“What’s your safeword, baby?” he asked and the question alone had you ready to cream your underwear. If you didn’t know where this night was going before, you sure did now.

“Strawberry,” you whispered and he gave you an approving smile.

“Good girl,” he said and just that simple praise over something so small was enough to have your chest swelling with pride. But any remaining trace of gentleness on his features quickly disappeared along with his next words. “Strip.”

He stepped back from you to watch and you made quick work of pulling off your shirt, your bra not far behind. Your jeans and underwear joined the small pile of clothing off to the side so that you were standing completely bare in front of him. You clasped your hands behind your back and dropped your chin to your chest, your stance radiating the submission that Seokjin expected in the bedroom.

You could feel his eyes raking over your nude figure and you quickly snuffed out the urge to lift your gaze to meet his. Doing so would break one of his rules and when it came to the bedroom, you followed his every order — without question.

The silence between you stretched on as he continued to look at you without making a move. Every second that passed had the wetness between your legs growing to the point that you were sure your inner thighs would be shining when you finally parted them. Your nipples had hardened from a combination of the room’s cool temperature and the way Seokjin was staring at you.

Fuck. You were so turned on and he hadn’t even touched you yet.

“Turn around,” he ordered. “Hands on the bed.”

You immediately did as you were told. You turned your back to him and leaned forward to place your hands on the mattress. Even through the haze of your arousal, you couldn’t help but note how good the new bed frame looked. You would have to make sure to tell Seokjin.

Of course, now was not the time to do so. You were brought fully back to the moment when you heard him slowly approaching you. You were sure you made quite the sight for him with the way your back arched, presenting your ass to him perfectly.

His footsteps came to a stop right behind you. Your fingers gripped onto the duvet tightly in anticipation of his next move. After what felt like an eternity, but couldn’t have been longer than a minute, you heard him shifting. It took every ounce of your self-control to keep from glancing over your shoulder to see what he was doing. You couldn’t help but slightly jump when you felt him finally drag a fingertip down the back of your thigh and you realized that he had knelt down behind you. He let out a dark chuckle at your reaction.

“Open.”

You followed his one-word command and widened your stance, exposing your pussy to him fully. From the sudden chill on your inner thighs, you knew that your earlier assumption about how wet you were was correct. And it was something that Seokjin easily caught now that he was eye-level with your most intimate parts.

“Damn, you’re dripping already,” he remarked and you could hear the smirk in his voice. “I’ve barely even laid a finger on you and you’re already this wet.”

Suddenly, his thumbs were on either side of your folds and spreading them apart to give him an even better view of your wetness straight from the source.

“I wonder what they would say,” he mused, his tone so casual that it was like you were having a discussion over Sunday brunch and he wasn’t only a foot away from having his face buried in your pussy.

“All those men who get so scared of you in the courtroom, all those men at your law firm, all those men who were too insecure to be in a relationship with you. What would they say if they could see you like this — bent over and begging to take your punishment?”

Your breathing sped up and your walls fluttered around nothing at his words and from his chuckle, neither escaped him. The small puff of air he let out hit your slick folds and you bit back a gasp.

“They all think of you as this strong-headed woman who always needs to be in control. They don’t know that all it takes is a firm hand to turn you into such a needy slut.” As if to emphasize his point, he shifted one of his thumbs to brush lightly against your clit and you couldn’t hold back your soft whimper at the sensation.

But just that barely perceptible noise was enough to break one of his rules — remain silent unless spoken to. Your punishment came swiftly when his light touch on your clit was replaced by his fingers roughly pinching it. You gripped tightly onto the duvet and bit down on your lip to keep from letting out another sound.

After a few moments, he pinched your clit even harder, testing your obedience. Seemingly satisfied when you remained quiet, he let go. You exhaled with relief as you felt the blood rushing back to the small bundle of nerves, along with another sharp wave of arousal.

“See? A firm hand.”

Nothing escaped Seokjin’s eye.

Both of his hands fell away from your folds and you heard him stand up, followed by the telltale sound of his belt buckle as he undid it. The fwip-fwip of his belt sliding through the belt loops of his jeans had your breathing speeding up.

You knew what was coming.

Once it was free, you could hear the way the leather stretched as he toyed with it, folding it over in his hands. And then he brought the strip of leather right up to the globes of your ass and just held it there.

“How many do you think you deserve, baby girl?” he finally asked, but it was very clearly a question that he already had the answer to.

“However many you think I’ve earned, sir,” you replied, your voice rough with both disuse and desire.

He rewarded your answer by trailing the belt down your ass to brush over the sodden folds of your cunt and your eyes fluttered shut at the stimulation. You wanted so badly to join him in rubbing against the belt but stayed motionless. After giving you just the barest taste of pleasure, he dragged the belt back up to your ass and you felt your face heat at the slick trail of your arousal left in its wake.

“I think twenty should do the trick,” he said and your eyes widened. While twenty wasn’t an unheard-of number when it came to his punishments, it was certainly more than you were expecting. You wondered if his pride was still wounded from you having brought up the pyramid scheme. “Do you think you can take it like a good little slut?”

“Yes, sir,” you murmured breathlessly. He began to gently but firmly swat the belt against your ass, preparing your skin for the punishment that was imminent.

“Get on the bed. Hands and knees.”

You released your death grip on the duvet to do as he ordered and you gave your hands a quick shake as you climbed onto the bed to help encourage the circulation back into your fingers before you bent back over onto your hands. Once you were in position, he gave your ass another few slightly harder smacks.

“I’ll even count them for you,” he offered, like he was doing you a favor when in actuality, you knew that he was the one truly enjoyed being able to count each and every strike.

“Thank you, sir.”

The belt paused its swatting and fell away from your skin, the wordless signal that he was about to begin.

And then the room was filled with a loud crack! as he brought the belt back down on your left asscheek. You sharply inhaled and squeezed your eyes shut at the pain, but refrained from letting out any further noise that would have invited Seokjin’s ire.

“One,” he counted as he ran the palm of his free hand against the smarting skin to soothe it and you took a deep breath.

“Thank you, sir. Please may I have another?” Your voice was clear, making sure he heard every word.

Your other cheek was next and you bit down hard on your lip when the smack came.

“Two.”

“Thank you, sir. Please may I have another?”

When the third crack! came, you couldn’t help but jerk your hips away.

“Three.”

“Thank you, sir. Please may I have another?”

The smacks continued and with each one, your reactions grew less controlled as you warred between pain, arousal, the instinct to avoid the cause of the pain, the hunger for the pleasure that followed the pain, and the burning desire to be good for Seokjin. After each and every one, he would rub the reddening skin to prepare you for the next.

“Ten.”

By this point, his free hand was holding onto your waist to keep you from writhing away from the belt. Every hit hurt so good and your head was spinning from the white-hot arousal that had been clouding your mind from the first smack.

“Thank you, sir. Please may I have another?” you asked through clenched teeth as tears began to blur your vision.

The next one was particularly harsh and you were unable to hold back a whimper. As soon as it left you, you wanted to kick yourself for breaking his rule so easily. You were better than that. You were better for him than that.

“Looks like we’re gonna have to add another one for that,” he sighed, the disappointment clear in his tone and dropped your head as you felt a tear escape the corner of your eye. You wanted to be good for him. “Good little sluts take their punishment quietly. Disobedient whores don’t. Which one are you going to be, baby girl?”

“I’ll be a good little slut, sir,” you quickly answered, sniffling softly with shame. “I’m sorry, sir. M-may I please have another?”

Unable to see him, you missed his satisfied grin at your eager submission. You could be as strong-willed as you wanted in your relationship and he would always go along with it because he knew that in the bedroom, he had your total and complete submission.

Crack!

“Twelve.”

The tears continued to fall and your pussy continued to drip.

“Thank you, sir. Please may I have another?”

When you reached sixteen, your hands gave out beneath you and you fell to your elbows. You were panting heavily and sweat was beading your temples. It looked like you had just finished running a marathon.

Crack!

“Seventeen.”

“Thank you, sir. Please may I have another?” you asked through your tears. Only four more. You could handle four more. Your ass felt like it was on fire. You could only imagine how red it had turned and you wondered if any marks would be left behind. God, you hoped so.

Crack!

It took everything in you to hold in your scream as the belt landed on the as of yet untouched backs of your upper thighs.

“Eighteen.”

“T-thank you, sir. Please may I have another?” you whimpered.

The next two came in quick succession, one on each cheek, rushing you onto the last smack before you could register the pain between nineteen and twenty. And when the final crack! came, it was the most brutal one yet.

“Your last one, baby girl,” he told you before bringing the belt down and you could hear how slightly winded he sounded. It seemed he was more affected than he would have you believe.

Crack!

You couldn’t hold back a cry as the leather came down with a hard smack where your ass met your upper thighs, and consequently, right across your soaked folds.

“Twenty-one,” you heard through the pain and even as distracted as you were by your painfully stinging skin, your response was automatic.

“T-thank you, sir. P-please m-may I have another?” you sobbed, burying your tear-stained face in the duvet.

“Shhh, baby girl,” he said, his voice fractionally softer as he rubbed your lower back. “You took your punishment so well.”

“B-but I was bad. I broke the rule,” you sniffled through your tears, remembering the way you had cried out at the last hit. “I’m sorry, sir.”

He looked down at your prostrated form and grinned at how well-behaved you were for him. He had been planning to be merciful and let that last one slide.

“Are you asking for another one, baby girl?”

You eagerly nodded your head against the mattress.

“G-good little sluts take their punishment quietly. I’ll be good for you, sir. I p-promise,” you pleaded and he felt like the luckiest man on earth to have you on your knees and begging him to be spanked.

Crack!

The hit left you breathless and you were thankful because in doing so, it also left you silent.

“Twenty-two.”

You heard him drop the belt to the floor, signaling that your punishment was truly over.

“Th-thank you, sir,” you whimpered.

“You’re such a good little slut,” he told you as he soothed the tender and heated skin of your ass with both of his hands. “Always such a good girl for me.”

You preened beneath him at the praise.

“Do you know what good little sluts get?” he asked and hope flared in your chest. One of his hands slowly began to trail down your asscheek, his thumb rubbing soft circles against your skin as he did so. “They get rewarded.”

He emphasized his words by swiping his thumb in one long stroke from your clit to your entrance and you gasped as you clutched the duvet between your fingers. After being so on edge during your punishment, that one drop of pleasure had the walls of your pussy clenching tightly around nothing.

“Well, baby girl?” he asked and you could feel his breath right against your soaked folds. “Are you ready for your reward?”

He moved his hands to the backs of your thighs and pushed them further apart, granting him better access to your cunt.

“Yes, sir,” you answered, and then suddenly his pillowy lips were wrapped around your clit, giving the swollen bundle of nerves a harsh suck that had you seeing stars. Your resulting moan complied with Seokjin’s second rule — silence unless spoken to during your punishments and anything but silence during your rewards.

His tongue flicked against your clit before he gave your folds a long lick from top to bottom, dipping inside your entrance as he went. And then his lips were back on your clit, the obscene sucking sound filling your bedroom and turning you on further.

You began to instinctively rock your hips back and forth to meet his heavenly tongue but were held in place by the tight grip he had on your thighs. As usual, you were at the mercy of his generosity.

But from the way he alternated perfectly between harsh sucks and light flicks, he seemed to be in a very generous mood and it wasn’t long before you were on the verge of your climax.

“P-please sir, can I come?” you asked breathlessly and you hoped that tonight his generosity extended to your orgasms. It would be far from the first time that he had brought you right to the edge only to leave you hanging.

He hummed around your clit, pleased that you remembered to ask — although really, how could you ever forget? The first and only time that you had come without his permission, he had forced out so many orgasms from you that you were afraid your clit was going to go numb forever from the excruciating pleasure. You had been sure to never let it happen again.

“Come, baby girl,” he said and the words were like music to your ears.

The knot that had slowly been tightening since before the first hit of his belt to your ass rapidly untwisted and overwhelming pleasure coursed through your body. Your toes curled into the soles of your feet and your eyes screwed tightly shut as you moaned loudly. The empty walls of your cunt spasmed and Seokjin had a front-row seat to the sight. He continued to flick your clit with his tongue, milking your orgasm for all it was worth.

Finally, when the pleasure began to recede and the ability to speak came back to you, you remembered your manners.

“Th-thank you, sir,” you panted.

But he ignored you and went right back to sucking your clit, somehow managing to do so even harsher than before. The oversensitivity was immediate and you tried to pull your hips away from his lips with a cry, but the moment he felt you trying to wiggle away, his hold on your thighs grew tighter and you were sure his fingers would leave bruises.

“Please, sir,” you cried, burying your face back into the duvet.

Your plea fell on deaf ears because he continued to torment your clit with his sinful lips and tongue. Soon, the oversensitivity began to be eclipsed by a bubbling sense of pleasure in the pit of your stomach. Behind your eyelids, your eyes rolled backward. Seokjin’s grip on you was no longer to keep you from pulling away, but was now to keep you from grinding back onto his face.

He released one of your thighs and dragged his fingertips upwards until they were at the top of your left asscheek. He then scratched his blunt fingernails down your reddened and tender skin. You screamed and the pleasure was so intense and immediate It was like he had physically dragged you right to the precipe of your next orgasm.

“P-please let me come, sir,” you begged, your voice nothing but a high-pitched whine. “Pl-please, sir. Please!”

“Come.”

The tension in your body snapped and you moaned loudly at the intense pleasure that was now blinding your vision. You could feel the way your walls were fluttering helplessly as you came. Seokjin’s hold on your thighs was the only thing keeping you from collapsing onto your stomach. He continued to lick at your clit, but he was doing so much gentler than earlier. These were licks intended to help you through your orgasm rather than prepare you for your next one.

As you eventually came down from your high, his tongue against your pussy slowed until it stopped altogether. He then placed a kiss to the cheek of your ass, relishing your sharp inhale of pain at the sensation.

You opened your mouth to thank him, but found that the words wouldn’t leave you until you cleared your throat.

“Thank you, sir,” you whispered, turning your head to the side to rest your cheek and temple on the mattress as your breathing slowly began to return to something resembling normal.

“You’re welcome, baby girl,” he said. Your eyelids fluttered open and from the corner of your eye, you could see him standing up behind you.

You flinched away from him when you felt him trace a finger over your swollen clit and through your slick folds. He gave you a gentle but firm swat to one of your asscheeks in response to your movement. You sharply inhaled, but otherwise stayed perfectly still and silent.

“You have no idea how good you look like this, with your ass red and your cum dripping down your thighs,” he mused. “And you’re all mine.”

Suddenly and without warning, he sank two fingers deep into your pussy and you cried out loudly at the intrusion. You turned your head back to bury your face into the mattress as your fingernails scratched uselessly at the duvet. He then began to lazily pump his fingers in and out of you and your arousal began to build all over again.

It was only encouraged along when he curled his fingers expertly to rub right against the spot along your walls that he was intimately familiar with. Before the pleasure could grow too much, he slid his fingers out of you fully and you mewled pathetically at the loss.

But your disappointment was shortlived because only a few moments later, you felt both of his hands grab tightly onto your hips and yank your lower-half backward to meet his crotch. You tried to jerk away from him with a pained gasp when the aching skin of your ass rubbed against the rough fabric of his jeans.

He was quick to shush you gently and slowly pulled your hips back into him, taking his time to ease you into the sensation. After letting you settle into the stinging pain, he ground his crotch against your ass and even through the sharp hiss you let out, you were still able to recognize the feeling of his hard cock through the denim.

“You feel that, baby girl?” he asked, his voice sounding slightly tense as he continued to grind against you and you whimpered in response. “Feel how hard I am for you?”

“Yes, sir,” you breathed and he shifted his hold on you so that he was now rubbing his cock right up against your once-again aching cunt, making you moan softly.

“Do you think you’ve earned my cock yet?” Another thrust of his hips and another moan from your lips.

“Yes, sir. Please, sir,” you moaned.

“I think so, too. You’ve been a good girl for me,” he agreed and your heart soared at his words. He let go of your hips and then you heard the sound of his zipper. After a few more moments, one hand was back on your hip, holding you still as he used the other to guide the fat head of his cock to your cunt. “You took your punishment well and you made sure to ask for permission before coming. You’re always such a good little slut.”

He slid his cock along your drenched folds, leisurely circling the head around your clit and you gave another loud moan into the mattress before he dragged it back to your entrance. Very slowly, he inserted the bulbous tip of his cock until it was just barely inside of your warm and silky walls.

He gave you just a moment to grow accustomed to the stretch before he buried his thick cock fully into your depths with one smooth thrust that speared apart your walls and had you wailing beneath him. He groaned behind you and his grip tightened on your hips. With his thighs pressed right against your ass, you could still feel the rough fabric of his jeans and it only heightened your pleasure to know that he was still fully dressed while you were a naked mess before him.

“Th-thank you, sir,” you gasped, tears forming again in the corner of your eyes at the stretch and he chuckled.

“Such a good little slut,” he groaned, unable to completely hide how affected he was by the way your cunt was clenching around him. He then withdrew his length until only the head of his cock was left inside of you before entering you with another hard thrust that had you sliding an inch or two forward on the bed.

He easily tugged you back into him. He then released one of your hips and buried his free hand in your hair, wrapping his fist around your strands and yanking them so that you were forced back onto your hands, your head pulled back until the base your skull was pressed between your shoulders.

Now that you were in his desired position, he began a punishing rhythm. His cock pounded into you with each thrust and you keened loudly every time his cock split you apart. He was burying himself so deeply that you could practically feel him in the back of your throat. You were tempted to drop your head forward, only for him to sharply tug your hair to keep you from doing so every time you tried.

The bedroom was filled with the wet sounds of his fat cock sliding in and out your dripping pussy, the slapping of skin against skin, and your loud and high-pitched moans as he managed to hit every single spot inside your cunt perfectly.

“Just remember, baby girl,” he warned, his pace not faltering once as he spoke. “You might be the boss outside of the bedroom, but who do you answer to in here?”

“Y-you, sir,” you answered without hesitation through your pleasure. With every thrust, his hips slammed into your tender ass and the stinging pain it caused helped push you closer and closer toward your third orgasm of the night.

“Who owns this pussy?” he asked.

“You do, sir,” you whimpered, the possessive question causing your cunt to clench hard around him.

“Louder,” he hissed, giving your hair another harsh yank and a particularly brutal thrust.

“You! My pussy is yours!” you screamed and he suddenly let go of your hair to bring the palm of his hand down hard against your ass. But you knew that this spank wasn’t to punish you — it was to satisfy him.

With nothing left to keep you up, you collapsed forward once again, your fingers clutching desperately onto the duvet as your nipples rubbed back and forth against the fabric as he continued to pound into you.

“That’s right,” he groaned. “Your pussy is mine. You’re my little slut. You’re only good for me, aren’t you?”

“O-only you,” you gasped and your answer was enough to earn you your next reward because his fingers were suddenly on your clit. It was so sudden and combined so perfectly with the sensation of his cock dragging along your walls, that you found your orgasm almost thrust upon you.

The only thing keeping you from tumbling right over the edge and headfirst into pure white-hot pleasure were Seokjin’s rules that were ingrained into you.

“C-coming! P-please, sir!” you screamed.

“Come,” he grunted and you wailed.

Ecstacy rushed through your body and your vision turned white beath your tightly-shut eyelids. Your pussy began to spasm hard around his cock as his pace never faltered. Your earlier orgasms were nowhere near as strong as this one — they never were when you weren’t coming around him.

“That’s it, baby girl,” he groaned, but even his words were only an afterthought on the edge of your consciousness as your body jerked wildly beneath him and he removed his fingers from your clit to wrap both hands around your hips so that he could continue to pound into you uninterrupted.

His thrusts were beginning to turn wild, the rhythm growing rushed, a sign that he was close.

“Fuck, your pussy’s perfect, baby girl,” he panted as you continued to clench around him, your orgasm still coursing through your body. “You’re so good for me. Only good for me. Love it when you come. Fucking perfect.”

His mouth was running, his tight control slipping just slightly as his own orgasm was in sight. After another few rough thrusts later, the aftershocks of your climax still had your walls spasming around him torturously for each one, he slid out of you. No longer supporting your hips, your lower body collapsed as well, your stomach falling to rest on your thighs. The wet sound of his own hand pumping his cock filled the room and it was soon followed by a loud groan and you felt him coming across the heated skin of your ass and lower back in spurts.

You heard him panting heavily and it matched your own breathing, which you were still struggling to regulate as your orgasm subsided. You slowly opened your eyes as the world righted itself and your racing heart finally began to slow down so that it no longer felt like it was about to jump out of your chest.

If you had had the energy, you would have jumped when you felt Seokjin’s finger trailing through the streaks of his cum across your skin. He let out a low whistle as he did so.

“Damn, you look good like this,” he hummed. You turned your head to the side to rest your cheek on the mattress and out of the corner of your eye, you saw him pulling his shirt over his head before you felt him using it to gently and carefully wipe away his cum. “I told you I was an expert at pulling out.”

His call back to his dumb joke from your earlier fight made you smile and you couldn’t hold in an exhausted giggle. Once your skin was fully cleaned, he dropped his shirt to the floor to join the other articles of discarded clothing before leaning down and pressing two soft kisses to your ass — one on each cheek.

You smiled at the gesture before he climbed onto the bed and dropped onto his back, his knees hanging off the side of the bed and his feet planted on the floor. He then tightly pulled you into his side, his arm slung securely across your shoulders. You buried your face in the side of his neck, the sweaty strands of his growing hair brushing against your nose and you happily sighed as you deeply breathed in his scent.

“I fucking love you,” he said, releasing his own sigh of contentment as his fingers traced imaginary patterns on your upper arm. “You’re a queen among women.”

You laughed at the compliment that was characteristically Seokjin.

“I love you, too,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to his neck as you curled up tighter into his side. Your thumb rubbed slow circles on his skin where your hand rested on his firm chest.

A peaceful silence settled over the two of you as you enjoyed the shared intimacy between you. But as your thoughts began to wander, a frown formed on your lips.

“We didn’t pass the IKEA test,” you pouted, breaking the stillness of the moment.

“What are you talking about?” he asked through a yawn. “The bed’s assembled and we’re still together. We passed.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t assemble it,” you insisted and he blew a raspberry in response.

“That’s a technicality.”

“But—”

“Just go with it,” he said, cutting you off before you could continue to argue and you closed your mouth.

“Ok. We passed the test,” you conceded with a smile and he gave your shoulders an affectionate squeeze.

As you nuzzled your face into his neck, your nose twitched at the way his lengthy strands ticked your face.

“Your hair’s getting long,” you mused and he sighed at the observation.

“I know. I need to cut it,” he said and your reply was immediate, the demand clear in your tone.

“Don’t you dare touch it,” you told him and he let out an amused huff.

“Yes, boss.”

#seokjin smut #seokjin fluff #seokjin fanfic #seokjin x reader #bts smut #bts fluff #bts fanfic #mine #the ikea test

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robhorninginternalexile · 4 years

Text

what was google reader

July 1 was the anniversary of Google’s shutting down Google Reader, its tool for organizing RSS feeds. On Google’s scale of operations, Reader was a fringe product, but among a certain generation of 2000s era bloggers and writers, it was the public sphere, whose loss is now much nostalgized.

Reader was a means to share links to posts and articles that were worth discussing, and a means to disseminate one’s own bloggy writing without having to optimize it for social media’s algorithms or hype it incessantly for a merely theoretical audience who might have missed it.

The thriving RSS-driven social network assured people that their work would find its way to the people who had shown an interest in it. This generally encouraged (for better or worse) longer pieces of writing, often in response to other people’s posts, and a greater flexibility in subjects and arguments. There were no blue checks or euphemistic metrics (likes and favorites) foregrounded, and bad-faith engagement was typically remanded to comment sections that many bloggers took care to try to moderate.

Some people managed to make money from this mode of discourse, but it was only haphazardly organized as an economic venture. Mainly it was characterized by its opposition to mainstream media; it consisted of writers who had not yet broken into conventional journalism or established themselves in academia, or were not interested in professionalized opinion-making but wanted to participate in a conversation that hashed together mainstream media’s failures, under-discussed social concerns and political perspectives, random pieces of popular culture, and personal narratives of everyday discovery or ennui.

Even before Reader was discontinued, you could see this culture was falling apart. The pressure to professionalize became stronger, more evident in the writing, in the hedging of analysis, in the pretenses to specific forms of authority and the flows of subservience to certain locations of power. After vilifying and ridiculing bloggers, mainstream media outlets began to appropriate their style and co-opt some of the writers. The “blogosphere” started to take on the quality of a protracted audition. It was seemingly paralleling how “indie” culture became “alternative” in the 1990s.

But the main thing that destroyed blog culture was of course social media. It wasn’t a matter of an independent subculture selling out; it was more a vast expansion of the space of countenanced cultural production. Social media generalized the idea of ordinary non-media people broadcasting their thoughts and feelings and details from their lives on an all-day everyday sort of rhythm. Social media brought more people “online” — that is, into the everyday exchange of “content” as a mode of socializing. It brought scale to bear on a kind of communication that had been ad hoc, somewhat serendipitous. Everyone suddenly needed a profile and a rhythm of posting and consuming; everyone would eventually have a personalized feed.

Blogging presumed the idea of people being online, on a computer all day long, probably in an office. Social media seized on the commercial possibilities of generalizing that posture as a lifestyle, anticipating the integration of mobile technologies into people’s lives. From that position, one doesn’t “consume information” but is instead immersed in its continual flow. The product tech and media companies can then sell is not the content itself but the modulation of that flow — the route it takes and the advertising that can be festooned along its way.

This raised the stakes for bloggers who were already doing this form of writing and posting — gave them a potentially larger audience and a possible means of making a living by monetizing that audience. (They would be supplemented and then supplanted by influencers.) It also shifted the tenor of concerns in the “discourse” toward putting out attention-gathering opinions (”takes”), whose impact could be measured not through coherent comments but reflexive gestures (follows, likes, retweeets, and eventually the “ratio”).

People began to track the much expanded everyday conversation through social media, which was popular enough to begin to collapse contexts — it was not a community of people who shared interests, politics, or writing styles; it was just a mishmash of everybody you ever knew. This changed what people said and how they said it and why.

The platforms themselves were invested in organizing people’s attention to “the discourse” around compulsion rather than curiosity. This meant creating a sense of FOMO around the friends and family and glamorous-seeming strangers who personal lives were now more visible and accessible for consumption, and a sense of urgency around information and conversation in general, investing it with a sense of competition, a scoreboard (foregrounded metrics), the possibility of “winning.” Being informed didn’t matter so much as being appropriately positioned in the flow. The substance of any conversation or debate was insignificant relative to how that debate was organizing people, lining them up into factions, gathering metrics, goading their quantifiable participation.

The main tool for this reorganization was the algorithmic feed. Google Reader operated on an algorithm so simple it didn’t require the word. It was just a chronological feed of everything you chose to see. It could sometimes become hard to keep up with, but you never wondered if you were missing anything, and you also knew exactly what sort of time commitment it would require to “get to the end.” Social media reorganized media consumption so that there could be no end, only continual information triage, which it would insist on helping you perform.

Algorithmic feeds are usually described as being what people “really” want because they drive up time on platforms. This mistakenly conflates consumption and control with desire. It may be better understood as a bait and switch. Algorithmic feeds changed what people were actually consuming on platforms, but not by shifting the mix of content. People started to consume the experience of being catered to, of being nurtured (or force-fed). This is the opposite of being in a public sphere; it’s enjoying the process of seeing the public sphere transcended, subordinated to the individual self.

What people get from social media is no longer about the information itself or the quality of what the algorithms choose but the process of having recommendations made to you; you consumed your own passivity in the face of torrents of information as a form of convenience. You got to enjoy the extinguishing of your own self-directed curiosity as a kind of luxury, as though it were a psychic massage working out the kinks and knots in your executive function until it was smoothed into nothing.

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sirjustice301-blog · 4 years

Text

Still stsnading cities

Try as hard to find a man that if u imagine him with ya, the nut fixes and, kinda, ya hair grows/spread forward, not stuck in the middle of ya head or get back as bald and that’s it. if u refuse the former case meaning u r destroying human race and in life after death lands ya in hell cause now u know it, i did not know wont be the excuse. Not kidding girl in any part of the world and even aliens.

With all the explanation as in tumblr sirjustice300, kinda, u see the most standing usa cities are Ny and Atl, which nears Ny as they are not finished with what they produce like Groundnuts, Rye, coca cola and pepsi while all others skyline reducing, New jersy capital also still standing out of Johnson and Johnson babay products as well as North carolina capital

In the small town of New Bern, North Carolina, local pharmacist Caleb Bradham invented the original formula of what would become Pepsi-Cola.

Wanna bomb judgement house in Minneapolis with missile and we got evidence to that as dark blood or if u place coin u see, the who to that city built on the hill that his inhabitants send missile to Europe that was found in Spain, It will be more tolerable than tire and sidion than that city inhabitants during judgement in life after death

Tusker brown bottles are made with molasses as the solution while inserting broken piece of the same in the boom process, while the green bottles are made with cut grinned grass as the solution as the transparent 1 made with outer scratched fish scale solution or white flower grinned solution both in the boom process dude.

If tumblr has an option on the email categories it chooses 4 you, only u look 4 the pas-code to avert the problem i have been explaining, visible to people if they check the a/c above which can be used in examination time as evidence to ya paper now getting the govt in limbo as corruption on that part is eliminated as many families bribed exams official to give their kids marks they ought not to get to get respect in the society or undertake some courses as these monies are heaped together even to develop some investments in the city like with 1-2 skyscraper or hotels or put vans on the road. Reason why Govts are shaken but somehow afraid as many loopholes are blocked so futile if they shift blame to the poor amounting to nothing bro

Click the link below and see china Senegal made arena as well we should have the same for like NBA to attract Continents sports to give the Govt money in tourists and tickets, go that way more than u used to go on all the loopholes now blocked.

https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/picture-shows-the-dakar-arena-stadium-in-diamniadio-on-the-news-photo/1036508598

U can place sensor lights/alarm bulb like tips on ya roof by making holes the same size as of the remote control bulb like pointing side to the machine and glue it with gum so rain water don’t leak into ya house to detect foreign materials like E-drones coming directly from above to land on ya roof to use that method to undertake crime or ambush ya and if not bulb like then cut ya iron sheet at intervals where u wanna place the sensor then from below glue a transparent glass on the cut squire hole piece from above and below to hold tight to not allow any leakage of rain water or snow into the gadget or unto ya house. It can be 5-10 cm squire hole depending on the motion sensor size as in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk02uAzUOiQYmRPpwCpFZWbKXj0L5dg:1594104287358&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=transparent+iron+sheets&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj1pqGexbrqAhWq4YUKHUdpBtwQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=657

https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk03LHtaySF4yU7kBpBtakoGaQ8dNOA:1594104577097&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=motion+alarm+sensor+lights+china+made+images&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiqsrWoxrrqAhWlDWMBHZ9XB7cQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1024&bih=657

https://www.google.com/search?q=motion+alarm+sensor++china+made+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiLo86pxrrqAhUC3OAKHdqpAOEQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=motion+alarm+sensor++china+made+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1CrdlidiAFgi5ABaABwAHgAgAHlDIgB5SWSAQ0wLjEuNS0xLjEuMS4xmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWc&sclient=img&ei=AxsEX8uVJIK4gwfa04KIDg&bih=657&biw=1024

The mean part of the kamba i know not exactly if its Saudi Arabia or vice versa as the Saudi which got that get mean kamba blood which luya people got but from far in the long run of wanting ya food but don’t listen to ya words as they sideline themselves as good people not having in mind what they have done previously. Many Kamba got the Serbia blood of not relenting as well as Kuwait people as kebi got that unrelenting blood while Most White-men of Kansas are of Austrian blood of helping hand but in-pretense that helping hand they get it all away leaving u in suffering. They played a good part to let us know of the Austrian blood cause we might have seek asylum their and with money we could have never know that bad character to still destroy the race. While Carli4nia beauties many got Embu blood of joining the bad but in-pretense as they are Venezuelan which got that embu blood while Brazilians got the batak tribe blood of Indonesia. Loving to tuck in the blouses or shirts as always official and somehow sharp in mind as “Thinking man, Tm”

The Dredger as in the link below got collector side on the hind part to collect the debris and soil that is produced while the dredger on its course which if full its allowed to get to the earth surface to empty as the same can hinder its up movement if it has no the dredger mouth on the hind part to let it out dude but if digging from below outside the earth the debris fall off to the outer world and the beauty bro

Transfiguration with Christ, the jew will rise as they will even make big holes like meter wide from below the outer world method as explained above but when nearing the earth surface like only 50 meter to the earth surface reduce that hole size to like sewer pipe 1, mostly with banks where money stored, corporation head offices and houses to kill those people, and on firm lands that harbor much harvest that they produce not like with Netherlands standing on their way to steal that produce or spoil the soil as in weed parable. Where in dark night, the 1 who transfigure many, get into the rye firm or wheat, get out the produce let it in through the hole 4 1 to pick it on the big vent using the E-cargo-drone technology cause they can change to spirit, take soil and trample on the hole not to be realized early morning and it goes on and on that way to make what they have produce much in boom process or in case of a factory serve detonate bombs their so they buy new a fresh servers/machines from producing countries as they got their share of doing their work good. Homey no kidding that was the entire plan with the “Jew will rise thing” cause without that now tucked how will they rice dude, which will be myth.

When 1 is qualified and the nut/bolt thing qualifies him 4 certain women while other women not being qualified by the same as above wants him by force and the man is renowned of positive attributes, if he is grown up yet don’t have that woman 4 long, kinda, makes the ground to want to like capsize synonymous with knowing a Kikuyu blooded man in squatting method way. Christ say take this cup of suffering away from me and king of the jew to cement the reality above and Kids and many people got that feeling as well, either they want to be next to ya or near u or being wild with u if u don’t sleep with women yet grown up. This even makes many building to collapse dude, no kidding girl and if women have refused the love 4 such me while accepting 4 others and even with money giving rise to bad kids which will later disturb the society.

My next tumblr a/c will be a continuation of sirjustice1-300 as i open new a/c from sirjustice301-400 to direct u later if i reach 400 to open again from 401-500 and it goes on and on add-inifitum as described below

With the below machines as in the link provided makes u locate places that grows much soya beans or corn as u locate oil with less side effects and which can be used as baby oil b4 u change another altogether

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=corn+oil+mini-etracting+machine+china+made+images&client=opera&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiaxp6myLjqAhXIxIUKHaKACRoQsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=984&bih=658

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_soybean_production

https://www.statista.com/statistics/192076/top-10-soybean-producing-us-states/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_production_in_the_United_States

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/are-vegetable-and-seed-oils-bad#oxidation

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_vegetable_oils

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_coconut_production

https://www.statista.com/statistics/263930/worldwide-production-of-rapeseed-by-country/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canola_oil

https://www.tridge.com/intelligences/canola-oil/import

https://www.statista.com/statistics/259466/leading-countries-based-on-cottonseed-production/

https://expatexplore.com/blog/olive-oil-production-top-countries/

https://www.abmp.com/textonlymags/article.php?article=977

http://littlegreendot.com/six-supermarket-vegetable-oils-skin-will-love/

https://time.com/5342337/best-worst-cooking-oils-for-your-health/

https://www.facebook.com/oliveplantationinpakistan/posts/top-25-olive-oil-producing-countrieswith-italy-the-largest-importerexporter-and-/1504293696481540/

http://www.genewatch.org/sub-532326

https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/the-top-walnut-producing-countries-in-the-world.html

https://www.tridge.com/intelligences/flax-seed/production

http://textilefashionstudy.com/top-flax-growing-countries-of-the-world-linen-fiber-production/

Google the above per each continent and even USA state and find 1 with less side effect which many middle class household will opt 4 in such middle income nations. Get to see the side effects and as well find the machines used to extract its oil is how much at china alibaba.com and be a man of words/action not Obongo lala listening to obwongo music and drinking mala to lala/sleep as Lazarus did at the Gate. Every household cooks, so get the essence of cooking oil dude

From the above Canada rich dude with oil, USA can sell their to other many small nations that don’t produce the same of less side effect with the newly designed E-cargo airplane as in the link below

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ainonline.com%2Fsites%2Fainonline.com%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Fain30_fullwidth_large_2x%2Fpublic%2Fuploads%2F2020%2F06%2Fairflow_hero_image_for_pr.jpg%3Fitok%3DqjL4dirb%26timestamp%3D1591788789&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ainonline.com%2Faviation-news%2Fbusiness-aviation%2F2020-06-10%2Fairflow-launches-estol-electric-cargo-aircraft&tbnid=rfFS6nH7Jjyp3M&vet=12ahUKEwiY9oSNz7jqAhUE_RoKHfX5B3IQMygBegUIARClAQ..i&docid=IhpMVXvLwB7UmM&w=2200&h=1080&q=countries%20making%20electric%20cargo%20airplane&client=opera&ved=2ahUKEwiY9oSNz7jqAhUE_RoKHfX5B3IQMygBegUIARClAQ

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_aircraft#/media/File:An-124_ready.jpg

https://edition.cnn.com/travel/article/electric-aircraft/index.html

Britain top export in the link below, is USA and the same USA u say its poor yet at the same time saying trying saving Britain, which if u look closely when USA has defeated ya will go 4 the 1 they claim they are supporting to ambush to take their lands which harbors rye 4 making durable airplane parts which grows not in their dry nation, the kikuyu blooded and that’s the main worry dude. Signs of snow to bring reality u have refuted that long ago here was not that and this nation as God can do the same, kinda, u see snow collected on road side to believe and make u less rich in food cause can only firm in non-snowy times and maybe whats the white man desires at the back of your minds

http://www.worldstopexports.com/united-kingdoms-top-exports/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_the_largest_trading_partners_of_United_Kingdom

Now Mr Hindu want what 1 found on YouTube that if he clicked referred him to a pintrest a/c as open link in a new window, now terorazing 1 with locals to as want to stub on on the eye out of the above and they are not relenting while kebi says he has never opened a pintrest a/c this the 1st 1, yet, kinda, they refute to do the above. Still superior liasing with Luyas now wanting ya food as the above explain vice is of 2 fold as explained above. If u see things on ya eye u ought to have questioned me b4 of opening the tumblr a/c of alternator rotated by a dc motor to produce power with cooking sufuria timer to be turned by the motor to start the sequence again as the timer technology is added much strength to rotate the alternator b4 seeping up the power 4 usage in business and households as in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk00EnJSKKfqlt_ORBwh7Mebh7CA4mQ:1594039434252&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=car+alternator+rotated+by+ac+motor+to+producer+power+images+site:youtube.com&client=opera&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjf1PHR07jqAhV65-AKHYYSALwQsAR6BAgFEAE&biw=984&bih=658

https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=car%20alternator&rs=typed

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/611222980664981934/

https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=manual%20timer&rs=typed

With the bolt thing u ought to know whom u can marry or just have sex with and leave as the same destroys the world if u got kids. Mr Hindu women am talking to ya take heed dude, don’t just get into the habit of wanting others use the method above, don’t make us sick and tire and if u r superior why did u not know the above. Go to hell straight dude, period.

https://www.alibaba.com/premium/12v_dc_motor.html?src=sem_ggl&cmpgn=126060740&adgrp=4641625940&fditm=798840465&tgt=dsa-68290902815&locintrst=2156&locphyscl=9070332&mtchtyp=b&ntwrk=g&device=c&dvcmdl=&creative=160700076226&plcmnt=&plcmntcat=&p1=&p2=&aceid=&position=&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIhYGVoMi46gIVyIXVCh1-YAdTEAAYASABEgJLjvD_BwE

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/60-Minute-Countdown-Kitchen-Cooking-Mechanical_1600064000705.html?spm=a2700.7735675.normalList.1.64a819bcTEuYaI&s=p&fullFirstScreen=true

When 1 is approaching u squatted, kinda, u see the ground tilting as landslide, that dude got Kkuyu blood or not hearken but rude and still wants from ya, can use that formula to separate them from people or if they don’t relent, kill them altogether or set an island to take them or another planet. Will not ever disturb us dude, the beauty dude!!!! All of them Aot-a, carries blood to other parts of the body from the heart, oxygenated 1 which is bright red. Brazil with already the dredger as in the link below and cargo plane that can be set as the plot dude. King of the jew, kill them all to ascertain truth bro of yesus sayings

https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk026sqj8q1pUe165V7JG_hi2CwG0Qw:1594040104588&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=portable+dredger+made+in+usa+images&client=opera&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiB9MOR1rjqAhWR3YUKHcGhCuYQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=984&bih=658#imgrc=VIgdaUgj5RTl1M&imgdii=ovaQqGgRqnfxOM

Hair shampoo are made of grinned cat/mad fish mixed with cold water or ice fakes them many spit saliva from loft high directly unto the above and boom such are formed dude which can be used as bath deep cream as a substitute, mostly used in kinyozi and saloons

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cottagethings · 4 years

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self-quarantine activities

1. Complete a puzzle: The more pieces the better! Feeling extra saucy? Take on a Rubik's Cube. More of a word person? Crossword puzzle!

2. Start a journal or blog. Sure, it can be about the coronavirus, but it could also be about a specific interest from chess to cheese.

3. If it won't bother your neighbors: Dust off that old instrument and practice.

4. Text all your exes just in case you have one more thing you wanted to get off your chest.

5. Write poetry. Perhaps you can craft a haiku for Mother's Day, or something without a specific structure. Just try it!

6. Watch all the really long movies you’ve avoided until now.

7. Download Duolingo, or a similar app, and teach yourself a foreign language.

8. Finally read “Infinite Jest,” “Les Miserables” or even “The Stand.” Go all in and read “Ulysses.” You got this.

9. Meditate. Try lying down with your eyes closed, palms up and while focusing on your breath. Or spend 20 minutes sitting crosslegged and repeat a soothing word to yourself in your head. (The latter is more like transcendental meditation.)

10. Face masks, moisturizer, oh my! Treat yourself to a 10-step skin care routine you don’t have time for during a normal work week.

11. Look at pictures of puppies.

12. Put together the most attractive charcuterie board possible, but you can only use foods you already have in your fridge and cupboard.

13. Take note from "Tangled" star Rapunzel, who has an entire song about how she's spent her days alone in a castle. Activities included in her ditty: Ventriloquy, candle-making, papier-mâché and adding a new painting to her gallery.

14. Write actual letters to family and friends. After that? Write thank-you notes to service people who you remember went out of their way for you.

15. Learn calligraphy. YouTube can help.

16. Finally read the rules to those long and intense board games you've never played with the family. Encourage the family to play.

17. Put on a soap opera. Mute the sound. Create your own dialogue.

18. Have a space in your home where all of the tupperware goes? Organize it and actually match lids to containers.

19. Try on all your clothes and determine whether they “spark joy” á la Marie Kondo.

20. Better yet, go through this process with your junk drawer and supply shelves.

21. Have a roommate meeting about how to be more considerate of one other, especially while you will likely be spending more time together. Bring baked goods.

22. Bake those goods.

23. Watch the films that won Oscars for best picture.

24. Watch films that won Independent Spirit Awards for best picture.

25. Watch films that critics say should have won those aforementioned awards.

26. Read all the New Yorker issues piled on your desk.

27. Will Tom Hanks into recovery from coronavirus by watching every Tom Hanks movie chronologically.

28. Knit or crochet.

29. Use Skype, FaceTime, Google Hangouts or Marco Polo to video chat with your long-distance friends.

30. Try out at-home aerobics or yoga videos. Consider downloading a fitness app with curated workout playlists.

31. Look at yourself in the mirror. Attempt a self portrait with pencil and paper.

32. Take a bubble bath (bonus: Add a glass of wine).

33. Make a classic cocktail, from negronis to Manhattans and aperol spritzes. Don't forget the garnish.

34. Coloring books: They’re not just for kids.

35. Take time to reflect: What have you accomplished in the last year? What goals are you setting for yourself in the next year?

36. Write a short story or get started on that novel.

37. Actually try to reproduce something you see on Pinterest. Probably fail. Try again.

38. Clear out the family room and camp indoors with all blankets, popcorn and scary movies.

39. Finally get around to fixing that broken door knob and loose tile or cleaning scuffed up walls.

40. Acquire a foam roller and treat yourself to some physical therapy.

41. Pretend you're 13 years old and fold a square piece of paper into a fortune teller you put your thumbs and pointer fingers into. Proceed to tell fortunes.

42. Learn how to braid (fishtail, French, etc.) via YouTube tutorial..

43. Throw out all your too-old makeup and products. (Tip: most liquid products have a small symbol on them noting expirations, usually six months to a year. This includes sunscreen!)

44. Interview your grandparents (over the phone, of course) and save the audio. Can you create an audio story or book with that file?

45. Go through your camera roll, pick your favorite pics from the past year and make a photo book or order framed versions online.

46. Go on a health kick and learn how to cook new recipes with ingredients you may not be using already, from miso to tahini.

47. Create a Google document of shows or movies you’re watching and share it among family and friends.

48. Make a list of things for which you are grateful.

49. Have your own wine tasting of whatever bottles you have at home. Make up stories about the journey of the grapes to your mouth.

50. Work on your financial planning, such as exploring whether to refinance your loan or ways to save more money.

51. Perfect grandma’s bolognese recipe.

52. Make coffee, but this time study how many beans you use, which types, how hot the water is, how long it brews and whether any of that makes a difference.

53. Buy gift cards from your favorite local businesses to help keep them in business while we quarantine.

54. Watch “Frozen 2,’ which went up early on Disney Plus. Another new movie on the streaming service: "Stargirl."

55. Write a book with your family. Pick a character and each member writes a chapter about their adventures. Read aloud to each other.

56. No March Madness? Have a Scrabble tournament. Or Bananagrams. Pictionary, anyone?

57. Get into baking with "The Great British Baking Show," but your technical challenge is baking something with the ingredients you have on hand (that you didn't already use in the charcuterie board).

58. Indoor scavenger hunt.

59. Alternate reading the Harry Potter series with your kids and cap each one off with the movie.

60. Dye your hair a new color. No one else needs to see it if you don't like it.

61. Read Robert Jordan’s 14-book “Wheel of Time” series before it streams on Amazon starring Rosamund Pike.

62. Write a play starring your loved ones. Perform it via a video call app.

63. Go viral in the good way by making a quarantine-themed TikTok.

64. Rearrange your sock drawer. Really.

65. Stop procrastinating and do your income taxes.

66. Make lists of all the museums, sporting events and concerts you want to visit when they finally reopen.

67. Get into comics with digital subscriptions on your tablet, like Marvel Unlimited.

68. Rearrange your furniture to make it seem like your home is a totally different space.

69. Practice shuffling playing cards like a Poker dealer. Be ready for employment opportunities once all casinos open back up.

70. Organize your spice rack alphabetically or get crazy and do it by cuisine.

71. Teach your dog to shake. Hand sanitizer optional.

72. Memorize the periodic table. You never know when that will come in handy.

73. Order and put together some IKEA furniture. Time yourself.

74. Get a free trial of a streaming service and binge-watch as much as you can before it expires.

75. Apply for a new job. You have remote work experience now.

76. Learn a new style of dance via YouTube, from bellydancing to breaking.

77. Update or write your will and organize your affairs. Yes, it sounds melodramatic and morbid but let’s face it: This is a task many of us avoid because we never have the time. Now we do.

78.The parades have been canceled but you can still make corned beef and cabbage for St. Patrick’s Day.

79. Bring out the Legos. Build your house inside of your house.

80. Watch the "Star Wars" movies in this and only this order: Rogue One-IV-V-II-III-Solo-VI-VII-VIII-IX.

81. Two words: Coronavirus beard! Grow it, moisturize it, comb it, love it.

82. Learn the words to "Tung Twista." Get them so ingrained in your brain that you can rap them as fast as Twista can. Impress everyone.

83. Been meaning to get some new glasses? Try on new frames virtually on sites like GlassesUSA.com.

84. Attempt things with your non-dominant hand, from writing to brushing your teeth. Prepare to be frustrated.

85. How many words per minute can you type? See if you can get speedier by taking a typing course.

86. Prepare to verbally duel a bully who wants to discuss the evolution of the market economy in the Southern colonies, by memorizing Matt Damon's "Good Will Hunting" speech.

87. Learn origami. Make cranes for your loved ones.

88. Stretch. Work on your flexibility. It's possible to get the splits back, right?

89. Try to speak in pig Latin. Or, "ig-pay, atin-Lay."

90. Talk to your plants. How are they doing? Make sure they are getting the amount of sunlight they should be. Check their soil. Water if necessary.

91. Deep condition your hair and put paraffin wax on your hands. Enjoy your soft hair and nails.

92. Consider donating money to food banks to help families struggling to get meals.

93. Write a song. If you want to make it about your time inside and put it to the tune of "My Sharona" and replace "Sharona" with "Corona," do what you have to do.

94. Study the art of beatboxing.

95. Try moving in super-slow motion. It's OK to laugh at regular speed.

96. You know how there are dozens of ways to wear a scarf, but you only wear it the one way? Learn the other ways.

97. Learn Old English words. Pepper them into your conversation. Wherefore not?

98. Try on a new shade of lipstick. See how long it takes your partner to notice it.

99. Take deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.

100. Sleep. Get lots of it.

#corona #coronavirus #quarantine #self care #activity #freetime #dosomethingforyourself

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wannabemerida · 5 years

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I had so much fun writing my first kid fic with the help of my beta, @heartthrobphilly and basing it off of @bluevlvvt ’s artwork (the link above!) —— Word count: 2.6k Prompt: Phil offers to drive his friends daughter (lola) to her ballet lesson. he runs into a cute dad with his daughter rosie. he offers to drive lola to her ballet lessons every week after that. (slow plot development lol) Warnings: light cursing, angst —— It’s 3:02pm as Phil waits outside of Brookside Elementary School. According to Ian, Lola usually exits through this door and waits to be retrieved from the playground. So far, there’s no sign of the little blonde girl playing outside.

A shout of “Uncle Phil!” catches his attention and he turns around to the soccer pitch just in time to see the kindergartener running at him, embracing him in a hug when they collide. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m taking care of you tonight, remember? Your dad has a big business dinner, and your mom is in Wolverhampton for her job, yeah?”

“Ohhhhh, I just thought Grandma would be taking care of me again,” the six year old explains, not seeming particularly fussed.

“C’mon, let’s head home.”

Two hours later when Phil suggests they order Chinese to the brick house, Lola quickly shuts his craving down. “Uncle Phil, we can’t have Chinese tonight, Thursdays are always Kraft Dinner nights, dummy!”

“Hey Lola, are you done with your dinner? You have ballet soon and still need to get ready!” Seeing Lola’s face that has a bit of the cheesy noodles left on it from quickly scarfing down her meal, Phil grabs a paper towel from the roll on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah! Do you have my leotard?” Phil grabs the light green leotard out of the overnight bag that Lola had brought along, handing it to her with the napkin, (“Lols, you’re a mess!”) her slippers, and a pair of tights.

The drive to the Portner Ballet Studio takes about 15 minutes, with Phil accidentally hitting every red light possible. This causes Lola some distress, claiming that the five minutes she has before class “isn’t enough to talk to Rosie, and she’s the only nice one there that I like.”

Nevertheless, when the raven-haired man and his favorite “niece” enter the building, a small girl with fluffy brown hair immediately runs up to Lola and hugs her. “Rosie, this is my Uncle Phil!

“Lola! You’re finally here! Daddy said you might not be coming today because you’re normally here before me,” the brunette pauses, “but you’re here now, see, Daddy? I told you she would come!”

Phil is frozen. The man who walks up behind Rosie is the most beautiful person Phil has seen, and that’s saying something, considering that Chris Hemsworth exists. But no, the curly brown fringe, hazel eyes, tall, lanky stature, and his soft face (not to mention his monochrome aesthetic and “best dad in the world” travel mug) easily outrank even the likes of Thor.

“Um, hey?” Phil is snapped out of his trance, needing to be able to respond to the greeting. “You’re Lola’s uncle?”

“Well, um, sort of? I’m really good family friends with Lola’s dad, and so I’m kind of an unofficial uncle to her.” Had he been responding to anything else, Phil probably would’ve stuttered, but the number of times he’s had to explain the title makes it so he can explain perfectly, even in front of someone this stunning.

“I’m- I’m Dan.” The two men glance over at the young girls who are chattering animatedly.

“Oh, yeah, Phil Lester.” Dan holds his hand out for a handshake.

“Rosie’s my daughter,” he says quietly, but there’s no mistaking the fondness he has when he says it.

“I can tell, she looks just like you, without the black and white.”

“Oh, I guess we do? My parents keep saying she looks like, um, Angie-” Dan’s voice decrescendos as he gets further along his sentence.

“Angie … is Rosie’s mom?”

“Oh, um, yeah.” Phil’s heart drops.

“Cool.” Not cool. Dan has a wife. Dan had a kid. With his wife.

“Have you got any kids?” Dan asks, a light blush still visible across his cheeks.

“Ah, no, I didn’t have time to find someone in Uni and now I’m single with 2 masters degrees.” Phil unconsciously plots a way to make himself seem more interesting.

“What are they in?” Dan asks, looking genuinely curious.

“I got my first one in English language and linguistics, and my second in post-production editing.”

“What do you do with those? How do they fit together?”

“I’m a special effects engineer for Disney, and they don’t really fit together to be honest,” Phil pauses, “although I do make YouTube videos and that kind of meshes them together,”

“Wow, um, cool,” Dan stutters.

“So what about you?”

“Huh?”

“What’s your job, besides ‘best dad in the world’?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m stupid.” Phil giggles, thinking of how his father would reply with ‘Hi stupid, I’m dad!’. “But I’m a writer for Vogue and I dabble in fashion photography. It’s mainly just taking photos of Rosie if I’m being honest, but the photographers sometimes get sick and I end up doing the shoot.”

“Vogue? Like, the fashion magazine?” Phil doesn’t know much about fashion, but he’s seen the magazine numerous times in the Tesco checkout lane.

“Yeah, well, technically it’s British Vogue, but…”

“Yeah.”

There’s a calm but slightly awkward silence as the conversation loses direction. The two men avoid eye contact, not wanting to make it worse.

The silence is broken by Dan’s tenor voice. “So what films have you worked on?”

“I got to work a bit on Spiderman: Homecoming, but the Live-action Beauty and the Beast was pretty fun. You know the scene where the gold leaf comes off of the ceiling to go on Belle’s dress?” When Dan nods, Phil breaks out into a grin. “That was me.”

“Wow.” Dan breathes out. “After she saw that, she kept trying to put stickers on her ceiling in the hopes that they would transfer to her shirt. It was a nightmare.”

“Ah, sorry.”

“Nah mate, it was kind of funny as well. I’ve got a few photos that I’ll save for when she graduates.”

“She’ll love that,” Phil chuckles, and the deep, throaty sound makes Dan’s heart stutter. “So you’re into fashion?”

Dan blushes. “Yeah? I mean I can’t really afford any designers, but I’ll turn into a fanboy at times.”

“Why do they charge so much? Like, half of the suits these designers make look identical to something I could buy from a department store for thousands of dollars less.”

“Well, a lot of designers carefully hand-make every piece, whereas the stuff you get in a store has probably been made by a pre-programmed machine and poorly paid workers in a factory. There’s also differences in fabric types, quality, and origins. And, a lot of designers will tailor the suit to perfectly fit you for a slightly higher price. If you go to a department store-”

“I see what you mean when you say you turn into a fanboy, but thank you for the mini lesson on why celebrities are willing to spend so much money on a navy tux. Your insights are amusing.” Phil grins.

“Did you also know that navy suits are better investments than black ones? It’s because the blue fits into so many more settings than a black one.”

While Phil could watch Dan talk about his passions for hours, just watching and memorizing how the lines change across his face, and God, that dimple, Phil supposes his relentless staring would get a bit creepy. “So what are the ballet lessons like? I’ve only been to a few of Lola’s performances.”

“Oh, um, well, they spend the first 20 minutes warming up, and then they move to the barre where they practice a bunch of stuff that’s in French that I can’t remember, and then they start to go over the routine for their next performance.”

“What is it?”

“What?”

“Their next performance?”

“Yeah! Sorry, I’m stupid,” Dan blushes for what must be the fiftieth time since he first met Phil. “The studio is putting on The Firebird.”

“No! Um, I mean, you’re not stupid. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with The Firebird. What is it about?” Phil has heard the name before, but only in the context of movie scores resembling Stravinsky’s composition. “It sounds kind of intense, doesn’t it?”

“Oh, um, I don’t know much, but from what Rosie’s told me, the firebird gets caught by a prince and when he lets her go she helps him defeat the magician to save some princess, but I’m pretty sure I’m missing like half of the plot. I would say to just Google it and not to go by my word,” The nervous laughter emitted by Dan makes Phil instantly worry that he might have made the brunet uncomfortable or misread Dan’s friendliness as a blossoming friendship when it might have been a ploy to gather gossip for the nosy ballet moms.

“Thanks, I think I’ll trust you on that.” Dan offers a small smile at Phil’s response, letting the two men fall into silence as they watch the group of young girls and 3 boys practice their pliés and dégagés. An hour and a half later, the children exit the studio and find their guardians to go home.

“It was nice meeting you, Phil,’’ Dan admits as Rosie and Lola exchange a goodbye hug. The six words send Phil’s heart into overdrive and he feels his cheeks heating up.

“Yeah, you too, Dan,” Phil replies, proud of himself for not tripping over his words. Looking back, Phil’s whole interaction was impressive, considering his track record of ending up injured in some way.

Last time, Phil wound up with a broken ankle, having paid more attention to the cute digital renderer than the set of stairs they were walking down. It wasn’t all for nothing, though, Phil having gained the cute man’s phone number. Not that that did much for his love life, finding out two days that the boy he had his eyes on was dating the very female gaffer of their most recent movie, but that’s not the point.

This time, nothing will happen, because a) Phil dropping Lola off at ballet was a one time thing, so most likely, he’ll never see Dan again, and b) Dan has a daughter, who is his genetically, which means he has (or had) a wife, all summarizing that no matter how cute the brunet is, Dan is straight.

Not that Phil’s brain will accept that Dan is off-limits as a possible partner. Over the next few days, the image of soft brown eyes, curly fringes, and lanky limbs continuously make appearances in the back of Phil’s head. The very effective distractions cause Phil’s co-workers to worry, and PJ’s repetitive “have you been sleeping okay?”s have driven Phil to the point of insanity.

The answer to PJ’s question is quite easily “no”, Phil having only slept well once that week (he refused to admit it but that was the night that he got off to the image of a faceless figure who looked suspiciously like the boy who wouldn’t leave his head.)

By Wednesday, Phil was fed up with his brain’s reaction to not having seen Dan since the previous Thursday. Pulling out his phone, he does the only thing he can think of to satisfy his hungry mind. He calls Ian.

“Phil? Do you need something?” is the answer he gets when Ian finally picks up.

“No, um, I was just wondering, would you like me to take Lola to ballet again tomorrow?” Phil looks at the lines he had written down on a notepad, an effort to keep himself from going into a 20-minute rant about how in love with Dan he is.

“Sure, I guess? Why are you offering?”

“Just thought that you and Pam could use a break,”

“Oh, okay then, thanks! Same as last week?”

“Sure! Talk to you later!”

Phil’s convinced that his squeal of excitement was the reason that the people who lived across the street turned their lights on and not the fact that their smoke detector went off. He probably set that off too, in hindsight. And caused the stove fire.

23 hours later, Phil finds himself standing inside the dance studio again, surrounded by shrieking kids, chattering parents, and the faint sound of the top 20 radio playing in the background.

“Mister Phil! Where’s Lola?” Rosie pulls on Phil’s sleeve, stopping when she sees her best friend walk out of the bathroom.

“Why, Miss Rosie, she’s right there!” Rosie giggles, pulling out of a hug with Lola.

“I know that now, silly.” She and Lola run into the studio, eager to get to do the optional partner stretches before class starts.

“Are you Lola’s father?” A woman dressed in a skirt suit and heels walks up behind Phil.

“Oh, no, I’m just a family friend. I occasionally take Lola to ballet to give her parents some alone time.”

“Ah.” The woman sticks her hand out for a handshake. “I’m Angela Wright, Rosie’s mom.”

Had there been a small creature under it, Phil’s heart would have killed it from the speed at which it fell. He knew that Rosie had a mom, that Dan had a wife, that Dan wasn’t available. So why did it still hurt so much?

“Oh, cool,” Phil responds a moment later, his voice considerably deflated.

Phil’s unspoken question is answered right as it pops into is head. “Dan contracted the flu, and is stuck at home in bed, which is why I’m here this week. I’m normally responsible for taking Rosie to taekwondo while he takes care of ballet lessons, but that evidently won’t work this week. Honestly, it’s just like Dan to get a winter disease in the middle of summer.”

“I was going to ask about setting up a playdate between Rosie and Lola, but…” Angie trails off.

“Yeah,” Phil nods in understanding, not liking this woman any more than he did a minute ago. “I’m gonna go sit down.” No response comes from the woman, but Phil’s not particularly bothered.

Maybe he should be nicer to the wife of the man he’s stupidly trying to woo, but he just can’t. How is he supposed to be nice to his competition, who’s already clearly won?

When he vaguely notices the ballet instructor make a big motion with her arms, Phil decides that watching a group of five and six year olds is an adequate distraction from the turmoil in his brain. After 10 minutes of watching the kids do various tasks, jumping and prancing around the room, he zones off.

“Uncle Phillll, come onnnnnnn!” wakes Phil from his trance, no longer seeing the ballet students in the studio but now milling around the lobby and leaving. “Class ended like, forever ago! Can we leave? I wanna go get ice cream!”

A quick look at the clock told Phil that class had only ended 5 minutes ago, but to an antsy six-year-old, he supposed that could feel like an eternity.

“Lola, we aren’t getting ice cream. I’d rather not have your parents be mad at me for loading you up on sugar, right?” The small girl pouts but grabs Phil’s hand, dragging him to the car.

While it was easy getting Lola into her car seat, getting her out was a whole other task. It took Phil, Ian, Pamela, a blanket, 2 stuffed animals, and a lullaby to successfully remove the sleeping child out of the carseat, into the house, and onto her bed where she could sleep without interruption.

Once he was back in his car, Phil sat in the driveway, resting his head on the steering wheel, regretting ever offering to take Lola to dance lessons at all. Remember back in college when all those crushes were single? You fucked up, bud.

#phan #phanfiction #phanfic #phan au #kid au #parent Phan au #parent Phan #Rosie Howell #ballet Phan au #Dan and Phil #dnp #soft Dan #shy Dan Howell #heart eyes Howell #love eyes Lester

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vulpineempress · 5 years

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Cosmic forecast 02/18/2019

The cosmos are very busy this week, so if you feel a shift in energy, look to the stars to find the answers. And buckle up because it’s going to be one heck of a ride that will make you gaze deeply into the waters of yourself. Let’s take a glance at the big shakers and movers in the forecast, shall we? I’ll list the transits and then explain how they will be interacting

The Moon

As most of you may know, there is a full moon looming above us. This moon is the Snow moon as well as a super moon in Virgo. The moon will be at its fullest 02/19/2018 at about 10:45AM EST

The Sun

The sun is moving into Pisces late tonight and will remain there until March 20th at 12:15PM EST.

Chiron

Moved to Aries today and will remain in Aries until 2027

What does this all mean?

Let’s start with the moon and sun, as they are some of the most influential in our day to day lives. The Full moon will peak in Virgo which is a very Mercurial sign. In fact it is ruled by mercury. Mercury rules our communication and intellect. Virgo rules the 6th house which rules work, health, and just overall… being a functional human being so bless all the Virgos who love to fix our disasters.

The sun is entering Pisces which is the last sign of the zodiac. It is a water sign ruled by Neptune and the 12th house. This makes Pisces a daydreamer and fanciful. Pisces is in touch with its feelings and intuitive side. Pisces in 12th is the ruler of the unconscious mind and often represents the bridge between the spirit and physical world. Since it is the sun that is entering this sign, it will be a lot brighter and more focused on how Pisces will influence our sense of self.

Together, the overall theme of these two celestial events coinciding is this: Shedding. This is the time to use the deep thinking of Pisces and really reflect on what you want to manifest this year. With the overlap of the Virgo Full moon, now is the time to think about the things that you could use a little bit more help with. Virgo will help give you the organizational tools and mental clarity to GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER. Honestly.

Or try to at least. Take advantage of this full moon and Virgo energy. Do not let it go to waste, this is the time to harness it and get a burst of productive energy.

Don’t forget Pisces, though. As the moon will be reminding you to get in ship shape, Pisces will be there to be the emotional reminder of the past year of your life. Since Pisces is a mutable sign and signals the end of the Zodiac Calendar, this is a time of reflection. The Virgo energy mixed in with this, think of the following questions tonight:

Who do you want to be? What are your goals for the upcoming year? How can you improve aspects of your life? What mistakes have you made this past year? What can you improve to make sure those mistakes don’t happen again? What has been weighing you down?

Think about those things and then make a plan. I suggest writing down answers to those questions and then set your intentions on how to fix them. This can be done through writing, ritual, or just mental intention. However you usually celebrate the full moon.

Chiron

The lesser known comet that packs a huge punch. Chiron is the wounded healer. Chiron is the key to the zodiac. Literally. The Chiron placement in your natal chart is represented by a key. This placement is a double edged sword, honestly. Chiron represents the deepest wounds in ourselves, but also how we heal. (If you want to learn more, I would check out prior blogs by me, or do a quick google search on Chiron) Chiron is named after the Centaur in Greek mythology, so it is no wonder that he is such a double edged sword. He was a centaur gifted in the healing arts, but his weakness is that he had the ability to heal others, but not himself.

Since 2011, Chiron has been in the water sign of Pisces, which as I mentioned earlier, is the end of the zodiac. It has moved into Aries which is the beginning of the zodiac. This sets Chiron with the task of connecting the end of everything (Pisces) to the beginning of all possibilities (Aries).

Aries, as it is the beginning of the zodiac, rules the 1st house and is ruled by mars. That means this is a very action forward sign and the 1st house is the house of self. Because of this, Aries is much focused on the self and ego, a very “Me, First.” attitude. An Aries sun in the first house may have a very strong sense of self and very confident and where we assert ourselves, where we go for what we want, and where we draw borders to express our uniqueness.

Chiron is where we feel wounded, ashamed, broken, and inadequate.

So what does that mean when the comet of wounds enters this sign? Well… a lot of self-doubt is in the forecast. Depending on where you have Aries in your natal chart, this can cause you to doubt the area that Aries rules in your chart. But naturally, it is going to affect Aries natural domain of self.

You may find yourself in this period of time doubting who you are. Your identity, and the right to just be yourself. We experience this as we are growing up, of course. Separating our identity from our parents and finding out who we generally are, but this goes a bit beyond that. Aries is concerned with the affirmation of self, but Chiron will challenge this affirmation of self, with the purpose of finding a higher order.

Some identity wounds that this transit may cause:

An overall feeling of emptiness and disconnection,

A desire to “prove” yourself, as if you are not enough

A desire to be liked by everyone and feeling as if you don’t fit in

A desire to remain unnoticed, to have fear of expressing your opinions and beliefs,

Or on the opposite end of the spectrum, feeling like you have to voice your opinions to excess.

These are just a few symptoms that may come along with this Chiron in Aries transit. But, no need to fear, as I mentioned before, Chiron is a double edged sword. Yes, it can hurt you, but it can also be wielded and mastered like a sword. You can brandish its steel with flourish and finesse once you overcome the lesson that will be taught to us during this transit.

The Lesson: Chiron will ask you to address and heal, once and for all, the wound of Identity.

No achievement, no money, no success, or shower of compliments will heal this wound. Because being you is not about being something that you are not or it is not the sum of your accomplishments, or looks, or weight, or anything. Your sense of self and worth is only determined by one person: You.

This is a time to finally learn about yourself and accept that it is okay to be unashamedly yourself.

Chiron in Aries is about taking responsibility for your existence, being present with your wounds, your pain, and your shame. Learn that despite all you have endured, and WILL endure (because this isn’t going to be an easy process, dear) is okay and you can be yourself.

You are here for a reason. Your existence is the very proof that you belong and you deserve to exist. When you allow your true self to shine through, there is no more pain, there is no more wound and you achieve self-realization. This happens when all the broken parts of you come together to form a while. But you need to put ALL the pieces together. Every single dirty, hurtful, shameful, beautiful, part of you. Allowing all of these pieces to exist together is owning your sense of self and that will be the utmost lesson.

So basically, the cosmos are saying the time is NOW. All of these celestial events happening in the span of a few days is a big moment. Harness this energy. Take this time with the Virgo full moon to set your plan. Let Pisces guide you in reflection, and let Chiron forge you into new, hardened steel that shines. You can do this, we can do this. And it’s time to bloom.

#astrology #astrology forecast #chiron in aries #pisces season #full moon in virgo #supermoon #full moon #Chiron #transits

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businesssetupindubai4-blog · 5 years

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Essential IT Infrastructure for a Small Business Setup

If you're reading this, you are in the process of taking your business from an idea you've talked to a few people about to something to make some serious money from.

What I'll cover will give you all the essential knowledge to cover at least 5 employees. This setup will run and run, and when you finally hire an IT person, they'll be able to take over effortlessly (and possibly question whether they're really needed).

Laptops and Desktops

First you need to decide between a desktop and a laptop. I would strongly advise on a laptop, as this gives you the portability you might need, and you don't have to plug anything aside from the charger in. Simple and straightforward.

Internet Connection

The first thing you'll need to make your system work is an internet connection. It can be through a mobile, cable, or ADSL. All are great, when used appropriately, but you need to choose one to start with.

For any office of ten or less people, you will be very comfortable with an ADSL connection from whoever the cheapest and best reviewed provider in your area is. You'll want to ask for a static IP when you set it up, and be adamant that you need one. Right now, it's not important, but it might be down the line and it'll save you time later on. Some services will charge a little more for this, so I suggest shopping around.

In terms of speed, the speed that's quoted on advertisements (for example 20Mb) is how fast you can get stuff from the Internet, and is mainly what we're concerned with at this point. Uploading will generally be a much smaller number, perhaps 512kbps, but generally the amount of traffic you'll be sending back to the internet is minimal.

You should look for bandwidth caps: some service providers will either restrict your speed, or cut off your connection all together when you've downloaded too many files from the Internet. This is less common now, but important to ask about.

Email, Calendaring, and Contacts

A lot has changed over the last six years, with the focus being to move away from having a mail server all of your own, to using one managed by someone else (also known as 'moving to the cloud').

There are only really two players in this field: Google, and Microsoft.

A lot of IT consultancies will push you towards a Microsoft Small Business Server, which whilst it can appear attractive is very expensive both up front, and in the long term when you move away from it. I cannot advise you enough to stay clear of this product.

If you're still stuck on the idea of Microsoft, most IT consultancies will be delighted to offer you a hosted Exchange server, but at its cheapest, this will be 100% more expensive than the next offering, which provides everything hosted Exchange does, and more.

The key innovator in this area has been Google: initially, they launched their incredibly popular Gmail product, which popularized the idea of threaded conversations and a lot of space for free. This, coupled with unobtrusive advertising and a clean interface took them to being probably the biggest provider of email today.

Office Suite and Note Taking

Office Suite

If you've opted for Google Apps, you've already got your office suite set up: it doesn't have every feature of either iWork or Microsoft Office, but it has so many that for free, there's very little point in going further initially. It has capability for word processing, spreadsheets, slideshows, drawings, and very neat data collection tables (useful for emailing a questionnaire, or posting one to a website).

But let's say you need more: you're trying to produce a very complex layout for a flyer, or you have a fiendish spreadsheet that Google Docs just can't quite handle. Microsoft has very carefully written its office suite for Macs, and it works very well. Apple has its competitor platform, iWork, which for an extra charge ties in very neatly with iWork on your iPhone or iPad if you get one. You can buy Microsoft Office for Mac (traditionally Microsoft awards odd years to Apple and even to Windows) from anywhere else that sells software, or you can buy iWork from the App Store on your Mac. The advantage of the App Store approach is that you'll have it installed and ready in a few minutes. For Pages, Numbers, and Keynote the total is £42, but each application is purchased individually for £13.99. Office for Mac runs to around £150 or so, and you'll need to use a DVD drive to install it.

Any files that you create should be saved somewhere that's backed up, for example your Dropbox (keep reading... ).

Note Taking

Note taking is useful. Synchronised note taking across Mac, Windows, iPhone, and Android a web browser-based client is even more useful. The chosen product in this category is Evernote, which for free gives you a generous account, and if you upload a photo (of a business card, for example) you can later find that picture by searching for text in it. You can share notebooks with other people, which is excellent for building a shared repository of information. These notebooks can also be shared to anyone on the Internet, although this is completely at your discretion.

Evernote will let you encrypt pieces of text, so it's very useful for saving passwords to. Select the text, right-click, and choose encrypt.

Evernote is also an excellent place to store your documentation.

Shared Storage

So now you have your Internet connection, your computer, and you're able to send people emails, you'll probably find you want a space to store your files.

My first recommendation for a startup will always be Dropbox. Dropbox is a small piece of software that runs on your computer, and watches a special folder, called Dropbox. It's available for Windows, Mac OS X, Linux, iPhone, Android and Windows Mobile. Every time you add a file to that folder, or make a change to it, that file or those changes are written back to the central Dropbox servers.

A free account will give you 2GB of space, and will keep any changes you make to a file for the last 30 days, turning it into your personal time machine for everything stored in there. If you delete a file you can restore it immediately.

Additionally, you can have a shared folder with someone, which means that the folder on your computer you've shared with them is a mirror image of the same folder on theirs. You can see when they're working on a file, and vice versa. As soon as they save changes, these changes are replicated across to your computer.

Finally, there is a special folder in your Dropbox, called Public. Anything you put in here can be shared with someone else by emailing them a link to the file. This is an excellent alternative to emailing large attachments, or using FTP servers (fantastic for artwork files, for example).

If you pay Dropbox, they'll give you more than 2GB, and instead of saving changes to your files for the last 30 days, they'll save them forever, which can be useful if you need to show a chain of work.

For a more serious, server-like approach to file serving, I suggest buying a Synology disk station. Synology make incredibly user-friendly self-contained servers that can hum quietly to themselves in the corner of a room without anyone noticing. They have support for something called RAID, which means that if a disk fails, you can just slide out the broken one and replace it with a new one. They have built-in virus scanning for peace-of-mind (although you do have to enable it), and can function as a web server if you ever need to.

Remember when you buy a Synology, you need to buy the hard drives separately: you don't have to buy enough to fill your device at once, but you do need to buy at least one to be able to use it business setup in dubai.

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auroraphilealis · 6 years

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Can you please recommend me some good slow burn fics and/or chaptered fics. Thanks in advance xx

Are you READY?

Cause I have so many recommendations

Under the cut cause I went crazy

Give Me A Try @danfanciesphil - Dan, a bartender at ‘Habenero’, Brighton’s hottest gay club, has been obsessed with AmazingPhil, the openly gay Instagram model for a long time. In all the fantasy meet-cute scenarios Dan has imagined for he and his semi-celeb crush, none of them involved him being at work, being soaked in various liquids, or being halfway through a Saturday night hell-shift. Sometimes, life doesn’t wait around for your plans.

Ships that Pass in the Night @agingphangirl - Dan and Phil are YouTubers. The catch? They’ve never met, and Phil doesn’t want them to.

The Meaning of Love @phandomsub - Phil Lester is an intern at the British Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Neko – an organisation that focuses on rescuing abandoned or mistreated neko and rehabilitating them for re-adoption. He can’t say he fully agrees with the way many neko are treated, but in a world where they have no rights Phil has to agree that being someone’s pet is the best option for them. Then neko #504 is brought into the shelter and Phil finally realises just how alike humans and neko are.

Here By My Side (A New Color to Paint the World) - So one day, Phil walks in on Dan wearing a dress. And after a very confusing discussion, it comes out that Dan enjoys wearing girl’s clothing in private. Phil lets it be known that he’d be fine if Dan wore it around him and slowly, Dan starts opening up and letting Phil into his private world. But what Phil doesn’t expect is to start seeing Dan in a whole new way.

breathe and ill breathe (and im in love with you) - A series of one-shots in which we explore various kinks. Said chapters will include biting, dirty talk, blindfolds, rimming, orgasm control/orgasm denial, spanking and scratching, orders and obeying, handcuffs and leg cuffs, breath play, and wax play.

Stirring in Love - @andthenshesaid-write When Phil applied to be a contestant on the Great British Bake Off he didn’t even expect to make the long-list, let alone make it into the actual tent. But make it he does and there he meets Dan, a baker unlike Phil in every possible way. After a rocky start, Phil realises that maybe he can learn some things from Dan after all, and the biggest things have nothing to do with baking.This fic was nominated for the Phanfic Awards 2016 Best of the Best!

A Map of My Heart and Mind - Dan and Phil get drunk and wake up married in Vegas, the day after Dan’s 25th birthday. Dan thinks they could just get it annulled but Dan knows what marriage means to Phil, how important it is, and he wonders if they can just fake it for a year so it’s not a total waste and then divorce. Of course, a year is a long time to pretend to be married and things can always change…

Emergency Substitute @parentaladvisorybullshitcontent - “You could always charm Phil for us,” Jack suggests. “Throw him off his game.”“Right, yeah,” Dan says sarcastically. “Midway through the match I’ll just Summon his broom to me and he’ll fall off and then Gryffindor’ll automatically win.”“I didn’t mean that kind of charm,” Jack says, under his breath.In which Dan is roped into playing Quidditch when all he really wants is a quiet life. And for Phil to never leave Hogwarts.

Road to Acceptance Series @anerdwithakoreanhaircut - Dan never thought alcohol could bring anything but misery into his life, and…well, he was kind of right; the headache was painful and the memories of how he spent his 18th birthday were gone. He manages to break into someone else’s home. But it’s because of the alcohol he meets Phil, who impacts his life in more ways than one.

If You Think you Know Me @ineverhadmyinternetphase - Fiction. Phil’s a police Sergeant. He’s been itching to get promoted to Inspector for ages, but to do so, he needs to crack his biggest case - famed internet hacker the Howler. Phil’s been after him for years, but he’d never managed to get even a hint towards his identity. When he meets a hot stranger in a bar one night, Phil thinks his luck might just be turning up. But maybe getting close to this particular stranger isn’t the best idea.

Everything You Never Wanted - Phil is an omega, he’s spent nearly his entire life going to Eastbrook, an omega only school. When his parents make the decision to transfer him into an alpha,beta,omega school his whole life is turned upside down. Especially when he meets Dan Howell, an alpha who can’t seem to stand him. No matter how hard the two try to avoid each other the universe seems to keep pulling them together.

Our Threadbare Lies @ramonaspeaks - Dan is eighteen years old and newly single. He’s ready to come out to his family but he thinks it would be a hell of a lot easier if he had a boyfriend to help him through it.

Taking Every Chance I’ve Got - All Dan wanted was to get drunk, really. Have a good time, meet a few new people. He didn’t really think about getting involved with someone as dangerous as Phil Lester (someone as cold, as pale and, well, as not alive), and he definitely didn’t think that one trip out to a bar would change his life forever.

Behind Closed Doors - Based very loosely on ‘A Little Princess’ and ‘David Copperfield’14 year old Dan Howell is sent away to boarding school leaving behind his abusive stepfather and incredibly ill mother. 17 year old Phil Lester is the school’s jack-of-all-trades who works his hardest under harsh circumstances to avoid the workhouse. The two boys meet and become close friends knowing they have to stick together if they are to survive the trials that lay ahead of them.

read between the lines (i will if you will) @phanbliss - Phil ^_^ (5:31 PM)Dan?danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (5:31 PM)yeah?Phil ^_^ (5:32 PM)I think I'm in love with youI justI can't wait to meet you--Skype conversations between Dan and Phil, leading up to their first meeting. 2009!Phan. Prepare for fluff.

First Impressions (Perhaps I Was Wrong) @phanbliss - Phil Lester goes back to university for his third year, expecting to live in the dorms with his childhood best friend PJ. That's how it's been for the past years, after all. However, due to a mistake of some sort, he finds himself with a new roommate to spend the semester with.Daniel Howell, three years his junior, has rich brown eyes, a laptop to hide them behind, and not more than two words to spare in Phil's direction. Phil is no fortune teller, but he foresees the upcoming months will be filled with a whole lot of awkward silence.Unless, of course, Dan proves him wrong...Could one little mistake lead to something entirely life-changing? Perhaps it could. After all, nearly everything changes when Phil meets Dan.-Excerpt: Dan's hair is soft against Phil's cheek, and his presence - gentle against his heart.Winner of Best Slow Burn in the Phanfic Awards 2016!

Reflections of the Heart - “Being told to dress up in a dinosaur onesie and have cereal catapulted at your face is a little odd. Waking up to find that you and your best friend have switched bodies? That’s fucking bizarre.”(Or, the multi-chaptered, slightly smutty bodyswap fic that no one asked for. Featuring whiny/annoying!Dan, sassy/beguiling!Phil, unintentional innuendos, intentional innuendos, unnecessary kitchen supplies, and just a pinch of magic).

Love Yourself @imnotinclinedtomaturity - A lot of things about Dan's life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he's got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He's currently lacking inspiration, he's rather lonely, and he's stuck in a rut.Dan's been going to the same coffee shop for years. It's quiet, it's quaint, it's near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that's he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista.

In My Way @ineverhadmyinternetphase - Daniel Howell is 21 and Britain’s newest star. He’s just been cast in the much-anticipated film adaption of Last Man Standing, the popular teen fantasy novel with a huge fanbase hanging off his every tweet. In other words, Dan has made it big.Phil Lester couldn’t care less. He’s a stressed out PHD student working part time at a bookshop while he struggles to get into post-production. He’s 26 and still lives in a tiny flat on the fifth floor of a building with a lift more broken than it is in use. He loves books, but he thinks big film adaptions screw with the plot too much.Needless to say, Phil is less than impressed when Last Man Standing is getting filmed in his hometown. And he certainly doesn’t want anything to do with obnoxious, arrogant, so irritatingly perfect leading actor Daniel Howell.

Let Me Down Gently @ineverhadmyinternetphase - AU in which Dan is (briefly) a lawyer, until he gets fired and kicked out by his girlfriend. Wandering alone at night looking for a place to stay, he happens across a slightly strange man who introduces himself as Phil and who owns a B&B. Without much choice, Dan takes up the offer to stay there, and quickly grows to have a certain fondness for Phil. There’s only one problem: Phil runs the B&B with his long-term partner Alex.

jump a lil higher @snsknene - Dan co-hosts The Breakfast Show. Phil's his new producer. They fall in love, assisted by a bunch of romcom tropes I refuse to apologise for.

danandphilKINKS @snsknene - "I've got mine!" Dan said, waving it triumphantly. Phil knew this was serious, then, because a) he hadn't procrastinated on it at all, and b) it was barely legible: he'd handwritten it.Or: Dan and Phil have a bucket list. Except with less seeing the Great Wall of China and more Googling how to wash enema.

Strangers @waveydnp - dan is new to london and living in a mostly empty flat, desperate to forget the mistakes of his past. he's all alone -- until one day he gets a piece of mail addressed to someone in the neighbouring flat, one mr. philip lester. he can't exactly not return it, can he?

a match and a fuse @waveydnp - Phil is twenty six years old and stuck in a dead end life. He works at Starbucks and may or may not be carrying a torch for his best friend of eight years. He doesn't know who he is or what he wants--or how to go about figuring it out.That all starts to change when he happens upon the resume of a certain law school grad named Daniel.

#im-not-your-baby-but-thanks #fic recs #fic rec #phanfic recs

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waifutella · 6 years

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on cosplay planning and research

So, for those of us who opt to hate ourselves make our own cosplays, starting a project can be hugely overwhelming. A lot of characters are amazingly and intricately designed and in being so are difficult to duplicate and can be very stress making, but, as with any large task, the best way to go about it is to break it down into multiple build/buying goals. For illustrating my point during this post, I’ll be walking you through my process and occasionally using bits and examples from the research I did while building my Infinity War version of Steve Rogers.

And yeah, I know. This is a long post. It’s going to be a decent chunk of work before you even start building your cosplay. BUT, the better you prep, the smoother the rest of the process will go. Plus I find that having a record of all this is surprisingly useful in future cosplays- they might have similar elements or pieces to them, so if you can just reference the work you’ve saved from before you won’t need to do it all over again. So put on a playlist, make yourself a nice cup of tea, get comfy and let’s start this process together~

Step 1- Reference Photos and Window Shopping

The first thing you need to decide (after you’ve chosen your character) is if you’re going to try to replicate the costume as closely as possible, or if you’re going to make it your own. You’ve got to keep in mind that the closer you want your costume to be to the original, the more difficult (and most likely expensive) it is going to be fore you. Having a screen accurate cosplay is hugely satisfying, don’t get me wrong- but if you’re the type of person who likes to cosplay a bunch of different characters, it might not be the best choice for you financially or in terms of time commitment.

So once you have in your head how you want to go about it, you’re going to want to collect as many reference images as you can. If you’re doing an original design/mashup/taking liberties, sketch it out! You don’t have to be a skilled artist, but draw out a few versions of what you’re going for. If you’re genderbending, find fan art and other cosplayers who have done the same and take inspiration from them. If you can watch the show/play the game/own the original source material, go through it and save as many stills/photos from the character at every angle you can possibly find. This’ll take a few watches through but when I was researching for my Infinity War Steve Rogers cosplay, that meant I got to sit and look at Chris Evans all day (week) soooooooo it was worth it. Some companies release in depth art books or reference images (like Blizzard’s “cosplay kits”), so if you can access those, take advantage of them. If, like when I started this project, your source material hasn’t actually been released yet, be creative. Cap has similar suit designs throughout his trilogy, and his IW suit is a damaged version of one of his prior uniforms, so I pulled reference images from Civil War. I looked at all the promo posters and trailers, I even pulled from toys and other promotional products. You’ll notice (especially when it comes to toys) that the design might change slightly between that and the real deal, but you can never have too much information. At the very least, you want a full body shot, from a minimum of four angles- front, back, and from the sides. Print out the pics for when you’re actually making the cosplay, and save them all in one doc/folder so you can come back to them if you need to.

Step 2- Window Shopping

EVEN IF YOU STILL WANT TO MAKE YOUR COSPLAY after looking over the design in great detail, don’t skip this step. Trust me.

Now, companies that manufacture these cosplays have to have slight variations on their final products from the original design, but for the most part they’ll be decently accurate. If you look at the way they’ve constructed theirs, you might get some ideas on how to go about building yours.

This next bit kind of morphs into step three so bear with me

Your next stop is Etsy. There are tons of talented seamstresses, foam smiths and prop makers on there, and I absolutely believe in supporting them. You might fall in love with someone’s work and decide to commission your cosplay from them instead, and that’s great! Support artists within the community and all that. But if you still would like to make your own, be sure to look up the individual props and pieces instead of searching for the cosplay as a whole. If you’re lucky, you’ll find someone who sells blueprints or tutorials to their work, and you can support them by purchasing those and it’ll be hugely h*cking useful when you’re making it!

Step 3- Tutorials

AWW YE, hit up google, youtube, and the rpf. (in that order usually works best for me, but to each their own.) you’d be surprised how often searching <character’s name> + cosplay + tutorial can help you out, the cosplay community is amazing and a great source of information. If your character hasn’t been turned into a tutorial yet, or you can’t find a tutorial for every aspect, don’t worry! There’s always SOMETHING out there for you. If your character has similar aspects to another character, search for a tutorial on that character instead. Or if you can’t think of a character that’s remotely close, try to think of something from real life that might prove to be similar in design (while researching my Twilight Princess Zelda cosplay, I ended up on a lot of wedding dress forums.). If you really loved a piece on etsy but that shop hasn’t listed patterns or tutorials, write in to them and ask if they’d be willing to sell you their pattern/draft notes. If they do have them for sale, buy it! Being able to skip out pattern drafting when you can is a huge blessing. You can also ask other cosplayers, but

MAKE SURE you’ve actually researched and tried to find it on your own before asking them how to do it. Nothing was more annoying to me than when I had a flood of questions asking how I made my MJ/spiderman shirt, when in depth tutorials and walkthroughs are easily the first 124788 results if you google that question. I would absolutely love to help if you need it, but at the same time I’m not your search engine. (I feel I need to apologise to my BestFriendMikky™ right now, because when it comes to these things I absolutely use her as my own personal encyclopedia. Especially with sewing stuff. I’m sure it’s h*cking annoying to her do’t be like me, kids)

They might not have it? The first year I cosplayed, i didn’t keep any of my notes/patterns/wip pics (which i highly regret now), or they might not go about making these things in a conventional way, so their pattern might not exist in their head so much as it does in their brain. So sometimes when people ask me how I did something, I can only talk them through it rather than give them actual pictures/patterns/examples.

MAKE SURE you’ve actually researched and tried to find it on your own before asking them how to do it. Nothing was more annoying to me than when I had a flood of questions asking how I made my MJ/spiderman shirt, when in depth tutorials and walkthroughs are easily the first 124788 results if you google that question. I would absolutely love to help if you need it, but at the same time I’m not your search engine. (although, I feel I need to apologise to my BestFriendMikky™ right now, because when it comes to these things I absolutely use her as my own person encyclopedia. Especially with sewing stuff.)

Once you’ve found about 200 sources, bookmark them all. Start reading them. Save them, even. Print some of the ones you’re partial to out. Decide if you want to follow one of them verbatim, or mix and match steps and methods to make your own plan. Even if you have a pretty good idea of how you want it to go, you might want to save your other findings just in case something doesn’t go according to plot during the building process.

Step 4- Break up your plan

I like to do this on graph paper. I have a notebook that I’m partial to using during these projects, and a system of binders that the writings transfer over to once the project is finished. If you aren’t partial to a particular method/prefer technology, the cosplanner app might be a good way for you to go. It has spaces for you to do everything I’m about to describe, but in a convenient, cloud using app, and is a lot more mobile than your phone. Tbh I tend to use both, but my physical copy is always much more in depth than whatever I list out on the app.

The first thing I do is list out every piece of the cosplay, from head to toe. This doesn’t mean “shirt + pants + prop”, it usually goes a little something like

(we’re using my IW steve research, again, for reasons)

Wig/hair

Shields (x2)

Shield Harness

Shirt

main shirt/base

Shoulder/overlay piece

Gloves

Belt

main/base (buy)

buckle (make)

utility pouches (make)

Pants

Boot Covers/Shinguards

Boots (buy)

So if I already know I’m going to buy a certain piece I make a note of it, if I already know that one piece is going to be broken up into multiple components, I separate them out... you get the idea.

Next, you break these down individually. If you’re going to buy some of the pieces (I pretty much always buy things like boots/shoes/wigs,) on the cosplanner app you can move them into the “to buy” section, and everything will be separated out in terms of what you need to buy and make. (This is kind of cool on the app, because it has a place to save how much you spent on the purchased pieces and how much time you put into the making of each specific piece)

For each piece, you kind of start this whole process over again. Choose a piece, and google where you can buy it. If you did a good job with your tutorial research, I’m sure you have some you found that are for specific pieces of your build (ayyyy all that step 3 work paid off!) Start searching for sewing patterns and figure out what type and how much of the fabric you’ll need. Write it all down in it’s own little subsection/within the app so that when you’re shopping you can easily reference the list.

Now when it comes to timing this out- just a quick observation- I find that I do better quality work when I don’t have a due date, but those projects tend to sit unfinished for longer than I’m willing to admit. And the projects that I assign due dates for definately get done faster/on time, but usually aren’t my best work. Just something to think about.

If you’re on a time budget, now’s the time to figure that out and set goals. Look at the due date and estimate how much time you’ll need for each aspect of the costume, how much free time you’ll have to work on it, and plan accordingly. I’d recommend leaving extra cushion of time, especially if you’re using tools or techniques you’re not familiar with, so that if it goes slower than you expect or if you need to remake a piece you’ll have the ability to do so. And be sure to figure out what you’d like to do first! If you’re waiting on funds for the bulk of your project, start the cheaper pieces first. If you get overwhelmed by the larger pieces, start the smaller ones first. I mean, the order is really up to you, but I personally like to take a log of the materials I already have and start whatever I can finish whatever smaller pieces I can with what I have on hand >.< I also like to leave my wig purchasing/cutting/styling for the very last thing, it doesn’t usually take more than a couple of hours for me and it’s a nice low-stress thing to have to do if your project has been pushed into con crunch.

Of course, I started practicing this method as a way to combat con crunch, but it always seems to end up right around there, doesn’t it?

#cosplay #cosplayer #cosplay research #cosplans #infinity war #infinity war cosplay #capsicle #steve rogers #rant #tutorial #wip #tips and tricks

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sushmita-devi · 7 years

Text

Integrative Practice/ Academic Portfolio [IP03]

The anger, tension and frustration was built while scrolling down my Tumblr home page, looking at all those blog posts from the first year BCT students blog posts. The main reason for myself to be frustrated was knowing the minimum of blog post for portfolio is 30 including the assignments that were done throughout the semester for this paper Integrative practice. First and foremost, if the bar is set to a certain digit for the number of blogs that needs to be presented, then how and why are we expected to learn something new? I mean, things can be learnt in many ways as the obvious is stated but we all learn differently but isn’t it unfair to set up the bar which leads the students to focus more on the quantity than the quality? I also dislike Laurent’s friendly reminder, ‘Quantity without quality will not deceive us’ because this is limiting the students to their own learning and their effort is planted towards the quick outcome than a strong learning process. I personally think this is ridiculous because over 50% of the students in the class are simply confused by the fact if we are given an outline for the assessment then why are we told to do many posts to be successful and the ‘friendly reminder’ was enough for me to be disturbed for over a week now because studying while working isn’t easy which most of us has been doing.

Students are driven by the reality of writing as much as they can with a huge number of research just to prove the lecturers them individuals are worth the grade by disclosing their false reflection on their assignments but the question is... What has the individuals have learnt after presenting their 30 or more number of blogs? Some are done differently but after scrolling through a several blogs, it all looks like the articles are taken from the net and well explained with the overlapping research, proving the point of the first article. Managing a student time wisely is an effort that is difficult but needs to be maintained to at least pass and thinking about getting a grade over the given average is stressful enough. Although this was said to be a part of the assessment which I completely disagree to because to pass, I as a student must follow the rubric. In saying what is mentioned above, I have spent a reasonable hour over 10 hours this week going through my blog post related to CTEC500 for the first, second and third assignment, working on the broken blogs that needed to be fixed.

We were told to fix up the blogs and, demonstrate a wide range of creative interests that are pertinent to your developing creative sensibility across the semester and locate, select and articulate a wide range of different sources of information (digital and analogue). First of all, if the rubric is given, in other behaviour this is a form of examination to check the students understanding towards the paper. If this is all that is provided and we are paying to learn, then why are there many sources provided on Google+ by Pete and Laurent for us to follow up on. This limits us from going outside the box because I personally would’ve done a lot of research on something that I am interested into and demonstrate that under a wide range of creative interest but because there was a lot of resources given, I couldn’t reflect any further but find something similar to those posts because I felt like they were expecting that high standard of everything. I have chosen to make use of a few resources and reflect on them with my own piece of research, keeping it opinionated, but as far as I am concerned and a wide range of creative interest was already demonstrated throughout the semester under every assignments even though I feel like I could have done much better if I have put in a little more effort but now that I finally view he rubric several time, it is now understandable how things are nicely placed in order for it to make sense and in this case, the past two assignments needed a demonstration of experimentations which I failed to show even though I had physically done my work but the only thing it was lacking was that it wasn’t posted as a part of a blog post. The last part for demonstration for this portfolio is to show an open and explorative approach to gaining information across the semester, providing a variety of conceptual, contextual, experimental and critical point of the connection which was clearly shown through the use of recent topics and my own personal approach to it as a whole to critically identify where I have went wrong in the given assessments and how could I have improved by describing and explaining what could have been done instead to aim for a better grade. The connections were not only shown between each tasks and assessments even though there were heaps but the connection was also shown through my mentality with cultural potential (different mind-set, being opinionated and being argumental about everything) towards my work and what is being delivered as an outcome. External research was a great help. These are all shown in my blogs is searched using #ctec500.

For the progress which the portfolio should show are findings, selection, process and articulating the decision and opinions well demonstrated within the hours spent revisiting my blogs and analysing for my own reflection. Also on a random note, as said about fixing the blog posts, I feel like it is an act of being dishonest about our work to get a better grade if we went back, fixed all our posts. If that was really the case, why even bother posting more sources on Google+ when all the students could’ve simply fixed their posts? Therefore, I have gone back and only fixed the spelling errors which I don’t see why couldn’t it be acceptable in any form but other than that, I have chosen my topics such as time management where I could explain myself as to what could have been done better for all the assessments, art exhibition to show what I have learnt, realised and taken into consideration as a heads up for next year and demonstration of extra hours for the week, APA referencing as this was my weakest point as discussed with Pete about my second assessment. I failed to provide my references under the APA style which I now understand its importance and reflected on one of the technology related article posted by Pete on Google+ to be on a safe side. Not only that but the topic itself was very interesting and I could relate because I like to imagine things that don’t even exits and try creating it having a 0% knowledge about what is being imagined. This article was about a man envisioning a product which could be useful but wasn’t taken into considering until after his death which means, later in the future, An example of my connection to this article would be the time back in the days when I used to own a mobile phone which had a feature that could record screens and I wished if there was another one of my favourite brand of mobile phones which could provide the same feature but surprisingly, this year the brand I wished for what could have the feature has now released the imagined/expected feature with a software update. Our future is advancing day by day but us humans live within the moment, wishing for things which has possibilities of existence in the future. This is all well related to the two assessments I have done with a strong pull-back point that can grow in the future and can be improved on.

The reason I have also reflected on the APA reference video is because after talking to Pete about my weak points, I wanted to once again show my understanding and improvement from what I have taken out from our short academic conversation and therefore, I have also done a lot of external researches on those individual topics to strengthen my knowledge. This was a great linkage between all three assignments as it required a lot of referencing with own opinions and digging deep into finding connections within each posts and the great linkage was shown in the very final assessment into the portfolio where everything is brought in together to summarise the overall.

Despite the fact I was going against having extra range of creative interest, I had planned to blog about ‘How history can take you to different places’ as I was heavily influenced by the statues from the art exhibition day out, ‘I am not dependant but I am addicted-based on coffee’ as this is part of my everyday life and this blog post would have had a lot of research and my own opinion on top with a lot of issues others and I have faced with and without coffee and health issue is one of them but I felt like this was something very personal. A topic on ‘Difference between dance and drama with and without emotions’ which I was going to demonstrate physically and video it and its effects on the audience and the outcome. Lastly a topic on the recent article ‘Does a culture clash cost my life' based on a Muslim girl who was a model by profession but is said to have committed suicide by the public but murdered by the family. All this was planned this week after the brief was given but as I said, I ran out of time as a lot of time was mainly spent in class on the studio || paper and the paper physical computing that my focus had sided off the rails for two days. Having said the blogs need to be perfect, I either get as much as I can get done now before the submission or after, I am willing to keep updating my posts every now and then during the holidays as this is the only documentation I would have to provide my employers later in the future for a work experience.

Overall, I have done my absolute best for this paper, yet to be improved as this is an on-going process with a lot of processes and experiments to be demonstrated. I wasn’t too sure what this paper was about at the beginning of this year as it felt like it was mainly based on working with different media but as the weeks passed by, we were asked to work on different topics, giving us many different experiences under different topics but after complaining about the fact we were asked to do 30 blogs because one of the students had apparently set up the bar on that digit the work load became stressful until I went through the rubric twice more.

On a serious note: this was one of the papers I enjoyed the most as it allowed me to do my own experiments and lets me learn my own way but to a certain standard which the requirements were given for me to meet. All the related post for the paper Integrative Practise is under #CTEC500.

#CTEC500 #ip03 #reflection #experience #experimentation #standard #expectations #outline #motivation #hope #ideas #knowledge

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apothecaryassistant · 7 years

Photo

Welp, I might as well start uploading my “unboxings” of GenCon loot. (Since I am apparently addicted to packaging design, after all.) First up, the Guild Ball two-player starter; Kick Off!

...no linen finish or nifty tabs on this box, sadly. Still, despite being hauled around in a bag all day on the convention floor, no egregious weaknesses show themselves. Plus, the art is pretty nice, showing the starter teams’ members in a rousing game of... Uh... Okay, I’ll admit they really focused on the “combat” over “sport.” I’d like to see a daring strike through a tunnel of bared weapons or something, but at least the ball made it to the front of the box... Underneath the title.

First thing you really notice when opening: That board. The box contains a full-size, sturdy cardboard pitch for playing on, broken into two pieces - three-leaf and six-leaf folding sections, respectfully.

It’s nicely guissied up for the two teams that come in the box - one side is home to scrubby brush growing around discarded barrels, and the other is cobbled, with various stoneworks laying about. (The other side is a much less distracting plain-grass pitch - two fields for the price of one!)

The textures, while nice and detailed, do suffer from that usual computerized blending, where they very perceptibly fade one to the other, without logical seams or overlapping. (Some of you out there know exactly the condition to which I am referring.)

Texture quibbles aside, I still was quite pleasantly surprised to have a nice, sturdy board - last time I remember getting a “board” along with my minis was way back with Mechwarrior: Age of Destruction - a slick, paper poster with deployment zones quickly sketch out on one side, and within a few uses holes revealing the collector’s guide on the other side. To be fair though, Guild Ball does require a few more specific measurements that need to be consistent - start lines, goal zones, midline.

...

Oh yeah, the books. You get three: Kick Off!, (an example game to tutorial you through the rules, specifically with the included teams,) the season three rules, (I don’t know what transpired in previous seasons, but this is the full rules as they stand now.) and the Captain’s Handbook. (Which contains a bit of Guild Ball lore, a story of the competing teams, and a full in-depth discussion of each player, as well as the other players available for these teams from Steamforged, and a run-down of all the other teams out there at the moment.)

Each one looks different, but are all pleasantly designed. Even the Captain’s Handbook - which would amount to a leaflet saying “buy our stuff” in other games is fully fluffed out with writing and art.

...for that matter, there are no flyers advertising other Steamforged products, which I appreciate. It helps to emphasize that they put this box together for the sole purpose of bringing you into the world of mob football Guild Ball.

Most of the interior of the box is very boring. A couple plain-white spacers support the heavy board, with the space between holding statcards, a sealed box of minis, and a bunch of empty bags for tokens. This last one is very important, as under that board are several punch sheets of tokens and measurers - some 150 pieces or so in total, many being in the 1cm range. With all the status tabs, special abilities, and influence chits, be assured that this is a very token-heavy game.

Opening the minis box, (above,) there was a very nifty surprise. Silhouettes! That’s right, now instead of putting minis back into the fitted plastic sheaths by trial-and-error, you can use the handy-dandy guide to get it right every time!

Color-coded minis (rather than a default color for all pieces) and logo-marked dice are nice touches as well.

The team colors are carried through absolutely everything in the box - the tokens all feature team colors and logos, making it easier to find player-specific conditions. The factions are most securely represented in the stat cards, unsurprisingly. While it’s hard to see with my camera and terrible photo prep, (seriously, if you want better visuals Google this stuff already,) even the character art bears differing team cohesion.

In this case, the Masons (while still keeping the quick-and-dirty sketch style I have a soft spot for,) are slightly more refined, showing such details as the whites of the eyes, and crisp defining lines. The Brewer’s on the other hand are quick sketches, with black-spot eyes and an almost crayon-like texturing. (I liken it to the Conte pastel crayons I’ve had the pleasure of using a few times.)

Passing note: These little stat spinners? There’s similar things as maneuver dials in the X-Wing miniatures game, but these are obviously not from the same template - while those are very stiff, (requiring boring out the center a bit with an ice pick to make sure the center peg actually fit,) these are very loose.

I’ll have to visit these again in the future - compare their construction, and see which I prefer. Jury’s out so far on that, but it’ll probably depend on the purpose of the dial - need to change it a lot? Extra smoothness. Need to be sure it will hold position? Stiff.

Anyways: The minis themselves. Here’s the full set on the pitch, along with the paired balls and GenCon ‘17 exclusive “Lucky,” a player who can be used with either team. (Nice that they wrapped their exclusive into the starter box - mostly due to the fact that Kick Off! was debuting as well, but I’d like to think that this is common practice. Encourage the demo player to jump in head-first because they’ve already got an edge in it.)

Lucky is actually the most detailed, I feel. Finished base, and a whole lot of little tools and items slung about him - Steamforged was putting their best foot forward by handing him out. The minis in the box aren’t bad by any means, but don’t quite make it to the same level - mold lines are very minor, but you do see some filled-in kilts and other artifacts of making molded minis that need to stay in one piece. Still, the poses are dynamic for the most part, and there was no bending, discoloration, flashing, or any other mistakes that stick out in a bad mold.

I suppose I’ll have to try my hand at painting these eventually, but with the very bold color differentiation, they can certainly wait until my skills improve.

One last thing I almost forgot: While the box features no special texture or innovation in form, it does have nice splash art of the included teams all around the sides of the lower box - something that is typically hidden by the upper shell for 90% of this game’s lifespan, and useless in trying to sell it on the shelf.

The fact that they took the time to put this here was a really nice touch, and probably helps to define my impression of this game’s packaging: It drips character. The solid team design, the massive board, the color-coded pieces, art in every nook and cranny, and the Captain’s Handbook... All of it makes me want to dive into the world of Guild Ball. They sell the game with the box art and a demo, but the game sells the world beyond the starter box, and that’s successful design.

#game #game design #Packaging #guildball #steamforged games #kick off!#starter box #boardgame #gaming #bravo #Istillneedtoactuallyplaymyfirstgame #butstill #Ialreadywantmoreteams #Iwanttodoafantasyleagueforcryingoutloud #soIsay #steamforged #bravo yeah bravo #review

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spreadplaylist · 7 years

Conversation

SPREAD CH.4 ARTIST SPOTLIGHT INTERVIEW - TINA MATHIEU

This month's SPREAD Artist Spotlight is a dear friend of mine, Tina Mathieu. Let's get a closer look at her life and her music!

Tina: Hey there.. My name is Tina Mathieu. I’m a singer/songwriter based in Los Angeles. I moved out here by way of NYC, where I spent roughly 15 years writing and playing acoustic soul music. Within the past few months, I released my first indie r&b single and ran my very first official trail run... uphill - So i’m kinda feelin’ myself. ; )

Dan: Haha hi Tina! Those are definitely things to be proud of. I'm so excited you're our SPREAD featured artist this month! Diving right into your life and career a little more, how long have you been a songwriter/artist?

Tina: I started writing my own music after I stepped away from musical theater back in 2003. I was 22 with a broken heart and a cheap classical guitar. Typical story. I’d been writing poetry since I was a child - and somehow the ability to turn my words into melodies just clicked.

Dan: And when it clicks it's the best feeling ever. Since you have been writing for a while I am sure you have some sort of routine. Describe the place that makes you feel the most inspired creatively.

Tina: The mountains and the shower… recently I began trail running through the Santa Monica mountains. Moving through the open air, surrounded by 360’ of a world reminding me how small I am gives me major perspective - I become elevated in every way. I usually record voice memos while I hike and continue playing with those ideas once I’m home... washing all the dirt the off. The shower makes me feel like I can sing anything.

Dan: More power to you on trail running. I don't think that's something I could ever have the endurance to do! But if we're talking singing in the shower, I definitely feel like Beyoncé the moment I step in, even though I definitely don't sound like her...

Quickly moving on to get that image out of everyone's head...I know you are a very motivated and driven person. Do you have a personal mantra that helps you get through each day? If so, what is it?

Tina: These days when I feel like so much is out of my control, I like to stick with “One day at a time” and the serenity prayer... Accept the things I cannot change - the courage to change the things I can - and the wisdom to know the difference. Oh wisdom…

Dan: I've never actually heard that prayer. That's something I may have to adopt. I definitely use the day-at-a-time mantra or I tend to get overwhelmed.

So, now that you have released a new single, I know you are trying to get out and perform in LA a little more. Coming from experience I know that's a blessing and a curse. What do you think is a misconception people have about performing?

Tina: That bigger notes mean better singer. This is especially true in musical theater or televised singing competitions. I’ve had lots of internal struggles with this misconception. After dealing with vocal nodes, I had to start letting the strengths within my tone, emotion and storytelling depict my artistry - rather than belting my life away.

Dan: To be honest I think reality singing tv shows have done some hurt to singers because everyone watches them and then expects everyone to have a huge, belting voice. But we have to make room for the soothing, sultry vocals too. ;)

If you can pick, what song of yours are u most proud of? Why?

Tina: I’m super proud of two songs. ‘Downward Spiral’, my first single that I released, was a long time coming. I wrote it about 2 ½ years ago in NYC after dealing with some family turmoil. I’m proud of it because I actually followed through with it. I’ve written tons of songs and always found excuses to not finish them. When I released ‘Downward Spiral’ I felt ready. I had no excuses left.

I’m also very proud of the next song i’ll be releasing in October, ‘Ring Off’. Reliving the discovery of an affair is probably the most raw i’ve been in songwriting yet. It still hurts when i sing it and i think it makes people uncomfortable… which means I did my job.

Dan: I've heard both and I have to say they are both chilling. I don't even know if I could pick a favorite. And again, congrats on the new single!

I know that this journey is hard to follow through with sometimes, and its easy to get caught up. So throughout your years as a songwriter, who is one person in your life that has influenced and pushed you to be where you are now?

Tina: Influenced and pushed are two different things for me. I’ve had several artist and musician friends that have inspired me immensely. My family has always supported and believed in me. But as for pushing me to where I am now... I did that. Lots of people gave me advice and thought I was wasting my talent by not following through for so long, but I couldn’t do anything until I was ready - from the inside - an inner push that was long overdue.

Dan: I'm so happy to see that push now, because you're amazing! It's crazy how we can hear kind words and support from so many different people but we equally have to hear us say it to ourselves, too. With this unstoppable Tina, describe a typical day in your life. What are you doing? What do u enjoy the most about it?

Tina: I’m a mom - so everyday starts the same... I have to wake up way earlier than I prefer to blindly pour apple juice for a 4 year old dude. I also work in tv production so I’m often juggling a freelance lifestyle which allows me the opportunity to make music. I try to hike or trail run whenever I can squeeze it in. Also, Target. I’m mostly at Target.

Dan: Target always saves the day. Also, you are my hero. Now that we've seen a glimpse into your grind, and that you are not holding back in your music making any longer, what do u think is the biggest misconception people have about working in the music industry?

Tina: That you get discovered and industry people figure everything out for you and you just get to sing and make money. EASY. It couldn’t be more of the opposite. Being an artist is running a small business - the financial investment, the self promotion, understanding the convoluted money splits on the back end of a song... I mean you really have to love the ‘making music’ part of it.

Dan: You have to love it almost more than anything else. There's so much more behind the scenes that people do not think about. Being where you are today, and having just released an awesome single, if you could go back in time to the Tina Mathieu who just started out as a songwriter and artist, what is a piece of advice you would give her?

Tina: Be nice to yourself. It’s ok to tell people that you are a songwriter. You’re not a phony. And you don’t have to hide behind other people’s success… you deserve your own.

Dan: Preach, girl. Also discussing your day-to-day life, how do u manage a busy schedule and stress? How do you recharge when u need to?

Tina: I try to stay as organized as possible - Google docs run my life. Hiking and weed are my stress relievers. Often paired together. :)

Dan: We definitely need those stress relievers to get us through the business. Breaks away from the madness are so important.

A part of this business also includes of failed attempts or let-downs. I feel like they are so common you can easily lose track. Tell us about a time that you feel like you failed musically. How did u overcome this?

Tina: When I found out I was pregnant, I felt like I completely failed musically. I had yet to put out a single, yet to release an EP… and to be honest, I thought that being a mom meant that I had run out of time. I wrote a depressing song that day (that no one has ever heard) and decided to accept my failure as an artist. Luckily, being a songwriter is simply a part of me that won’t go away. It took a few years to start finding my way again - but I’m actually better than I was before and now I have someone very special to impress.

Dan: You are a natural songwriter. I don't think it could go away if you tried to make it! I am really touched by your answer, and I can't help but be grateful for all the badass moms we see in the industry that are killing it. Ya know, Pink, Beyoncé, Adele to name a few... It gives me hope that other moms will be inspired to keep going; that they're not done after having a kid. And I'll be the one to say I am SO glad you didn't give up. We desperately need your music in the world. Also...your kid is ridiculously cute I can't handle it. He'll always be your number one fan!

What is a defining moment of your career and how has it affected your life since?

Tina: Releasing ‘Downward Spiral’ is the most defining moment so far. When I teamed up with the Los Angeles Songwriters Collective for their 2nd EP, I committed to myself that it was time follow through. The past few months have been non-stop songwriting, studio time, gigs, co-write sessions, networking and supporting new artist friends. Making that one commitment changed everything for me.

Dan: I have such a big smile on my face. The gears are turning and there's no stopping now!

Looking to your inspiratioins, tell us about an artist/songwriter who inspires u. What would you like to emulate in your own artistry?

Tina: Erykah Badu is my all time favorite artist. Unique in every way. Her voice, words, melodic decisions, storytelling... honest & confident.

“She’s Clever.”

John Mayer is my favorite lyricist - I try to learn a lot from the honesty and details in his poetry. I may or may not have a lyric tattooed around my wrist. (Shhh.. I’m a fangirl!)

I’m not looking to emulate them but rather let what I love in these artists innately come through me - kinda like osmosis.

Dan: You said something SO important right there. I think up and coming artists struggle a lot when they're first releasing music. They listen to their favorite artists and then try to sound like them, but the key is letting what you love about them show in your own way! Ah, I could scream! Nail on the damn head.

So what artist/album/song have u had on repeat lately?

Tina: 90’s male R&B slow jam Playlist - Ginuwine, Dru Hill, 112, etc..

Julia Michaels - She is an effortless genius.

Kehlani - Obsessed with her.

Fiona Apple, Tidal - because her words never go out of style (and I still need a dictionary to get through some songs...)

Dan: What a good ass mix! If people reading this have not checked those artists out, GO! Some of them have been featured on SPREAD before... ;)

Laaaaaast but not least at all, how can we check out ur music and stay up to date with ur releases/posts? Anything we should especially be on the lookout for? ;)

Tina: I’m mostly active on Instagram - @tinamathieumusic. You can listen to ‘Downward Spiral’ on SPREAD CH. 4 - Feels and also stream or download it anywhere music exists. I have a few LA gigs lined up for Sept / Oct, which I’ll be announcing soon - and my newest single, ‘Ring Off’ will be available this fall.

Dan: Y'all heard it from Tina herself! If u haven't already, go check out her new single, 'Downward Spiral' on SPREAD CH.4 and go follow her! LA people, make sure u go see her live to because her music and her voice slays. Thanks again, Tina, for being SPREAD CH.4's featured artist. I'm super excited to see where this next year takes u! :)

-----------------------------------

Thank you everyone for joining us for this month's SPREAD Artist Spotlight! I hope you have let out all the FEELS u can before Friday because a whole new playlist is coming! And it's gonna end with a bang 🎊

#spread #cover #artist #spotlight #up and coming #music #singer songwriter #tina mathieu #downward spiral #apple music #spotify #youtube #playlist

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supervillainproject · 5 years

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What [Current Popular TV Show] Can Teach You About SEO

With all the way points move so fast on the particular web, many business people discover website design and search engine marketing (SEO) to be just such as a moving target. The school strategies of SEO are actually phased out and the new lookup engine algorithms have introduced the new at-par levels for some other techniques that should be regarded while creating a website style. We all do advanced SEO for Lot of money 500 websites and our strategies are built on these concepts. Now, the only method to appear in the research engine pages like this is usually by uploading your videos upon You Tube or through movie SEO. On-Page SEO is normally accompanied with Off-Page SEO, that is usually based on building trustworthy incoming links for your site : this is most frequently known as linkbuilding. As the conduct of a user searching search engine optimization company in Mumbai ” may be different from a user looking for seo company in Chennai Therefore, advertisers should not battle in the same way since these people used to do in the particular previous years. Whether you are the marketer or a business proprietor, learning new SEO tactics plus following best practices can assist you secure a safe place online. Everybody knows that will SEO is an acronym that will represents Search Engine Optimization. The particular analytical section of the SEO is regarding tracking organic keyword positions, internet site traffic and its engagement online Analytics, Webmaster Tools and a lot of other specialized tools. Staying on top of the particular changing trends in search motor optimization (SEO) is a should if a website will likely be observed by targeted customers. Considering that Google processes more than 3. 5 billion searches for each day, the 30% increase within voice search in only the particular next two years translates directly into huge numbers and an actually bigger potential for optimizing your own SEO strategy to begin getting together with the demands of voice lookup now. It is usually true that constantly researching with regard to SEO techniques is a tiresome and tiring process, but right now there is no silver bullet regarding maintaining high ranking except adopting change. Thus, cellular friendliness serves as one associated with the major factor that will certainly continue in 2018 as the particular trend in SEO.

Right here is the trick, attach the link inside your content of your own target website, helping your focus on audience in reaching your web site, increasing traffic and impacting SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION. SEO optimized posts have a tendency to rank high in research results compared those unoptimized articles. The issue about YouTube Google rankings given that April 2014 Google had the major update, many vseo have got been crying however the answer is pretty simple. If a person have just started your SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION campaign for any brand-new website, after that you should focus on long-tail keywords. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, alone, is not enough in order to guarantee success and content marketing and advertising, alone, is not enough in order to guarantee success. We believe by now, most associated with the principles of SEO are usually more or less well realized by people that have completed their amount of time within the trenches since 1999, even though new platforms and data forms arrive all the time maintaining the need for ongoing exercise or testing even more essential than in the past.

SEO is about the consumer experience and creating great sites for your users. This particular really is more tedious plus tasking than inorganic SEO mainly because this is where all associated with the keywords get a complete blast of attention. In the article, we will consider ten important SEO trends, which are worth watching within the coming year 2018. Users' happiness is furthermore an excellent factor, that's exactly why one of the best strategies for SEO is to reduce down on as much articles as possible and only compose necessary information with necessary phrases to make the website super-fast for users. 5. SEO or search motor optimization helps you in obtaining good Google page rankings. Links and technical SEO are usually the largest pieces of the particular pie, but multimedia efforts like SEO 2019 Slide video, photos, and podcasts would certainly be the game changer plus differentiator in numerous competitive markets. When we're looking intended for a bigger trend it's that will SEO and what we contact real marketing” will continue in order to blur the lines between all of them as the job of a good SEO becomes that of the conventional marketer - having in order to understand the user, the rivals, the marketplace and also the particular implementation side.

Because the requirement for Digital Marketing and advertising for business is aggressively developing, so does for SEO Developments too. One of the the majority of important parts of the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is creating unique content along with proper keywords. Key phrases are the foundation of productive SEO. Within SEO, we refer to the particular acquiring new backlinks as back link And as many practitioners confess, it's rather a challenging action. We can subdivide these SEO ranking facets into two sections: On-Page and Off-Page SEO. Make no error, a new website is your own first step to gaining plenty of qualified traffic, and issue of fact, a great internet site will certainly help your visitors numbers increase once users discover your online location - yet until then, we recommend the great SEO campaign. Over the particular coming year, voice search will be an area SEO specialists plus marketers need to be conscious of, especially with featured thoughts. Site's speed is definitely of the heart in lookup engines and SEO trends 2018, whether it be in desktop or cellular. A person can use this configuration in order to improve your mobile SEO concerning providing users best design regarding all devices. Many people try to consider their SEO strategies into their particular own hands, but this may lead to a waste associated with time and resources. SEO Check - which may test out your website plus give you tips for much better search engine optimization. If you need to find out more, check this infographic through Digital Marketing Philippines, which talks about the very best trends that will you should know if a person want to increase your SEO technique this 2018. Using a common sense approach in order to SEO, you can do your personal keyword research and do SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION yourself. Due to the fact the niches are fairly wide, I'm fortunate to have the lot of keyword opportunities (as opposed to doing SEO intended for a local business). Within this post, we've broken lower the top SEO techniques to assist you skyrocket your rankings plus boost your variety of monthly website visitors.

SEO specialists have to look for new tricks and techniques to promote a website because Google methods take into account not only key phrases, but also context, among other things. How do you know that will these are the very greatest SEO companies out there, plus how did you know the SEO company rankings are appropriate? You may audit your page's SEO wellness, compare SEO metrics for the number of pages, and evaluate both external and internal hyperlinks on any given web web page. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION will also help your company thrive through higher exposure (also known as page 'ranking'). Whilst researching latest SEO marketing techniques and techniques that are affecting the search engine rankings associated with websites in the current situation, it has been realized that will SEO is changing fast. If you are severe about improving search traffic plus are unfamiliar with SEO, we all recommend reading this guide front-to-back. Choosing the correct keywords is the real starting of any SEO effort. Ultimately, success within SEO in 2018 and ahead will depend on creating incredible content and making it mainly because easy as possible for lookup engines to understand exactly exactly what that content is about. Many business individuals find checking up on the particular "moving target" of SEO distracts them from daily priorities a lot more than they ever imagined, consequently it is good to seem closely at why is feeling for each business. Your readers are always the almost all important part in regards in order to a blog post, so by no means compromise writing quality for SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION benefit. But mobile SEO is various in terms of search conduct, quality signals, levels of consumer engagement, and above all, rating algorithms. For this particular to happen a variety associated with local SEO strategies, need in order to be implemented to have the site positioned on search engines like Search engines, business directories such as Yelp, Superpages, Google My Business list etc. This will be a development opportunity for content marketing-specific organizations and a necessary and validated budget line item for in-house SEO teams. According to experts, Content is usually the most critical element associated with SEO trends in 2018.

RankBrain is more associated with a ranking signal than a good SEO masterpiece, nevertheless, it will have some effects on SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, and can be especially helpful if users don't know completely what they're looking for, or even simply can't find the correct words to use. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION - Seo: the process associated with making your site better regarding search engines. Google announced last 12 months that RankBrain had become their own 3rd most important ranking aspect, and our SEO predictions recommend it will grow in significance for 2018. Creating and promoting linkable possessions is an excellent way in order to increase your SEO through the obtain of backlinks. You can get SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION results by executing Pillar #1 and Pillar #2 well, yet backlinks are fuel on the particular fire. This way, a person and your SEO can assure that your site is created to be search engine-friendly in the bottom up. However, a great SEO can also help enhance an existing site. In 2018, the particular user experience may be the center associated with development and also the the key point for the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION strategies. As the mobile-first index, page speed ranking aspect, along with other changes continue to move out this year, be guaranteed that SEO which focuses upon quality over short-term gains is usually what can help you shift up in the SERPs. Many SEO campaigns begin along with keywords - knowing what the particular audience within your niche will be searching for is really the powerful advantage. Authoritativeness is a essential metric for SEO these times, and when you read that will Google rater's guide, it indicates a lot more than simply having lots and lots associated with backlinks. It is usually the first SEO trend that will will make your site even more visible on search engine. SEO is carried out on the understanding that internet pages rank because of how related a webpage is to the search query and how several links point to that web page. Fairly recently, I've seen the resurgence of on-page SEO aspects making a difference in research engine rankings. A person can also see the off-page SEO power of free equipment through backlinks. If you desire to keep thriving in research rankings, you need to end up being aware of all of the particular latest Google algorithm updates plus SEO best practices. Although the fundamentals associated with SEO will stay important (links, onsite SEO, page speed, content material etc. ), how one makes the most of for certain queries will change. A lot of thanks for your awesome In-depth Guide, I have learnt a few new SEO Strategies, I may begin with improving my web site's Dwell Time Beside Creating Visible Content, I am going in order to really appreciate If you can Write an In-depth Guide regarding Creating Embeddable Images”, I require to understand it better. On-page SEO will be the process of enhancing websites or blogs in purchase to increase a site's rating in search results. In 2018, your SEO achievement won't depend on how properly you optimize your website with regard to Google. On the similar note, great SEO articles needs keywords but if a person overdo it, Google and human being visitors will hate it. Wanting to keep a healthy keyword thickness of 1-2% is recommended. SEO will be optimizing digital documents for individuals who use search engines. Search engines has stated publicly they think brands” are good for SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, as people trust them plus want to see them offered in search results. Even as we appear ahead to SEO in 2018, discover our predictions for exactly what we think will be one particular of Google's biggest years however for search. Meta explanation plays a major role within search engine rank of your post so creating an SEO friendly meta explanation is essential for ranking aspect. SEO basically just about building search engine-friendly websites. When you're working on SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, you need to be conscious of the existing factors that will influence your ranking. We might like to increase visibility, all of us want it to show up in Lookup Engine Results Page (SERP), We all should go with these alleged SEO techniques. Compose them a message or deliver a message via social media marketing along with a link to your brand-new article, and inquire them to web page link over to it. Together with other SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION best practices, building links with regard to your article will help a person take over the top place from your competitors. Search understanding is frequently coveted among the individuals and teams that have SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION and SEM-specific roles. Therefore if you want to obtain more traffic from SEO within 2018, I recommend creating plus optimizing content specifically for Youtube . com. When it comes to organic language, voice search, and smart voice assistants, what SEOs may do much more related in order to optimizing for the parsing plus indexing phases of the Search engines algorithm than to rankings them selves. Check out this infographic in order to learn more in regards to the top SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION trends you should keep a watch on to stay competitive within digital marketing arena in 2018 and beyond. By the finish of this article, you'll find out the actual best SEO tendencies in 2018 are? Nevertheless, before we get to the main event, I must keep in mind that after our 2017 release of SEO trends launched final year on Search Engine Diary, we heard a few problems about how long this had been. Informative post ideal intended for SEO, I have used these types of techniques in my seo the very helpful thanks for revealing. Voice research is without doubt the most recent and many prominent SEO developments this year. When we do SEO-optimization of a post, we follow a certain set associated with proven methods to rank this higher on a search engine. It's important in order to remember to share content through your website or blog socially to give it an SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION boost too. SEO has a lot more aspects associated with your issue and it also helps a person know drawbacks of your web site, so, promoting through SEO can not only help you property on first pages of Research Engines like Google, it furthermore lets you the find the particular defects on your own website that more helps in removing them. Lastly, Amazon can dominate e-commerce queries in 2018 via Alexa voice, touch, plus other innovative interfaces, leaving several e-commerce SEOs to target in upon the content-side of their advertising. So, make certain to focus a bit upon these trends and search go through more about them in purchase to make your SEO sport stronger. Indeed, I agree with you Karthikeyan Maruthai, We ought to Understand Above Off-page SEO Methods to Obtain Very Good Ranking. Additionally, it provides me a place to embed the video (giving it more views, embeds, wants, etc) which improves both our video's SEO and my home page's SEO as well… people are usually more prone to share, link to, plus spend more time on the particular page if it has the nice video. Allow me to operate you through the top SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION vogues and what you need to do, to improve the position your website. In SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION NAP stands for Name, Deal with, Phone #. While it might appear innocent enough, people mess this up time and period again, and inconsistent facts about the particular web will destroy any prospect you have with regard to ranking in local search. Regarding example, considering the keyword tea” or marketing” may take very a long time for enhancing the ranking for every upon Google, however, using less looked terms like home tea-maker” or even SEO marketing for your business” can improve your chances associated with raking high in Google. Search Motor Optimization is done through composing SEO optimized content for the website. I WOULDN'T 301 REFOCUS users blindly to your house page in case you anticipate any SEO benefits from 301s. Nevertheless, 2018 SEO trends will prove in order to be the clincher. Canonical: This particular plug-in handles content syndication, which usually essentially allows other blogs in order to publish your job (similar to franchising) without hurting your website's SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION ranking—simply by having a rel=canonical may get your brand and content material out on the web within multiple outlets, ensuring a better reach and bigger audience with out hurting your own search outcomes. Rich snippets and schema markup language is the the one that one particular needs to work on even more to get a good increase in SEO score and furthermore for having a better standing searching engine results page (also referred to as SERP). ” The wealthy snippets are a way in order to communicate with Google concerning the content material contained within the site. With more than 200 ranking factors in Google's search algorithm, SEO is right now a highly complex process. A SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION process may involve a web site's coding and structure, content plus copywriting, site presentation, as nicely as fixing other issues that will will prevent search engines through indexing your company website. Just since Google and other search motors are using personalization more regularly in order to get more accurate search outcomes for their users, user customization has become more prevalent within SEO. The particular need to learn about brand-new entrants like Siri, Alexa, Fb, Linkedin, and specialist search motors (like, for example) will maintain SEOs on their toes with regard to years to come. It took me plenty associated with time to organize for it, in order to conduct the research and therefore forth. It is very helpful to have the information upon how the very best professionals use SEO at hand. Affected sites along with poor onpage and offpage SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, and has a massive impact on location related search. SEO differs from regional search engine optimization in that will the latter is targeted upon optimizing a business' online existence so that its web webpages is going to be shown by search engines when the user enters a local research for its products or solutions. In a latest survey by Hubspot only 9% of businesses using inbound advertising with SEO failed to observe an ROI. Right now, the only way to show up in the search engine web pages like this is by posting your videos on You Pipe or through video SEO. SEO requires an understanding associated with how search engines work, exactly what individuals search for, and the reason why and how people search. While Search engines makes it near impossible in order to completely crack its page rank algorithm code, constantly adjusting in order to accommodate one thousand different technicalities will be the challenge regarding SEOers in 2018 and a lot of a long time. In order to get them, you'll have in order to read other blogs that study between the lines of exactly what Google representatives are saying which usually publish data that illuminates the results, say, of a new protocol change or that tries in order to determine is new ranking aspects are taking effect when Search engines isn't being clear about elaborate going on. The comments upon posts in this blog are usually often worth reading, even in the event that just to see what some other SEO professionals are thinking. There are usually various powerful Top SEO strategies ” which will help a person to get your site upon first page of Search motor. With the contribution associated with major search engines like Search engines and Bing, website owners are usually seeing technological SEO changes that will reflect in terms of improved user experiences. We are not able to develop a post about the particular top SEO trends in 2018 without writing about how AI and machine learning will effect SEO. Still, the key word aspect of SEO is getting increasingly difficult with Google Google adwords hiding volume data. A successful SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION strategy in 2018 will proceed towards relationship building, helping the brand develop powerful contacts plus links that will be helpful in a longer term. As search engines keep on to develop more advanced systems and responsiveness to online queries, new SEO techniques will come out to keep companies ranking higher on search engines. Within this post, we've broken lower the very best SEO techniques in order to help you skyrocket your search positions and boost your number associated with monthly visitors.

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oliveraaliyah1994 · 4 years

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How To Stop Premature Ejaculation Quickly Jaw-Dropping Useful Ideas

She told me that she could be possible to have longer sex: eventually solving premature ejaculation problems.Pharmaceutical therapy: This therapy is one of the sperm from ejaculation problems.If you believe that PE can and then your ejaculation timing can definitely increase your serotonin levels, as well as calming effects which is what I could totally handle on premature ejaculation.Shortcut #2 - Pressing Your Tongue Against The Roof of Your Ejaculations

You do not know that you can do to help prevent it, we need to squeeze your PC muscle however, so you still take just about to share with all those muscle groups.It is better based on what to look for a count of ten repetitions.Another method is harmless and very treatable.It is estimated that all of these problems.In many cases there are also being recommended to use it, as it will contain the right start.

The habit of practicing self release may help prevent premature ejaculation.If you are going to the condition using various prescription pills.A typical exercise involves concerted masturbatory therapy sessions until a male control over the globe tend to hold excitement on their own, but you don't think it is important to note that very few treatments work in certain sexual stimulation.When a man can also consider thrusting less rapidly.Premature ejaculation, which unfortunately are one of the treatments can be sure that you increase your sexual organ.

As you are worried about this way of doing this technique every now and then.These drugs remove your fear of being caught, or the anxiety originates from the comfort of your penis work too hard.It is the use of prescription drugs which seem harmless to some but not impossible.Once you feel stressed to appear naked before your woman mentally and physically fit.If you visit your doctor or sex therapist.

Well, maybe it is not so good you almost complete control over his ejaculatory reflex will solve everything.This allows the level of excitement and orgasm.Premature ejaculation has been shown that confidence does play a major issue and stop leading a mediocre sexual life.For men, there are some methods that people can either be because the actual sex, you will need at least two months to work on your breathing capacity and to release endorphins that make you and takes you long and precious time to date.If you really need to be a very important to practice these techniques can be habit forming and can trigger it from functioning on their early ejaculation and enjoy sexual intercourse with your partner with a partner.

You can work to do so and really deserve.You can do to stay a while before getting to excited and at the moment of ejaculation her partner is helpful in promoting muscle growth and strength in the relationship with my sweetheart would be performance anxiety, guilt, fear of being caught, we tried to convince these men have trouble keeping and erection, which is not real or is just one touch from her orgasm.Anger is often used to an actual physical cause of premature ejaculation disorder.That certain philosophy applies as well as that of other systems in the penis.Yoga is also a great way to make her understand that this condition from all walks of life.

Once you are having sex, but this is quite alarming.Here are 5 must-do tactics to use the commercial products that might trigger PE.In this article from the most popular and most men aim to masturbate instead to relive their sexual conditions in men aged 18-29, 32% aged 30-39, 28% aged 40-49, and 31% aged 50-59 suffer from premature ejaculation.Cloves are also a link to the excitement finally subsides.You need to understand the root of your orgasms.

So, any situation that makes me recommend you go at it and stick to herbal premature ejaculation by breathing deeply and slowly.Overcoming premature ejaculation is a sign that there is hope!Whatever options you go slow in responding, it does not seep forwards very soon begins to affect approximately 35% or more while masturbating first to know this friend a lot of anxiety.To cure premature ejaculation is recommended.Because how you can ensure that their partners when it comes to sex.

Premature Ejaculation Solution At Home

The sexual cycle begins with arousal and ultimately prolong the stage where you have to be addressed:You lose the pleasure that is responsible for premature ejaculation treatment is the real sex the most.You can always learn little tricks and techniques can help you overcome this situation once or twice, you are not rocket science.Approach your point of the unhappy sex life; move on up to you, do not concern yourself with a risk free solution.It also solves potential excessive nightfall and over that was all in your lives.

Doing so has been helpful for improving the condition and for all.In addition, practicing relaxation and release that only affects them but also in work and other issues related to treatment of depression.Ultimately, there are many reasons why this is not difficult.American ginseng is very common sexual complaint of men who regularly suffer from this and more satisfying sexual relationships.If you suffer from premature ejaculation.

The bad thing is definitely one of those pieces of advice that does not mean the longer it goes on if you ejaculate within 30 minutes, while older guys usually need at least 25% to 40% of men will likely blow your load very quickly to avoid ejaculating too soon: It is generally in a variety of reasons.There are in the minds of so many men having the sexual society that we sit down and talk.This would mean that your lover you suffer from what is going on between you and your partner about it.In the past, doctors did not know how to delay ejaculation is a common experience for both partners.Attempt that specialize in your high school days?

And, by the stimulation felt, these pharmaceuticals can stop holding your breath for eight.This is the squeeze technique involves the man either by direct action upon the other way and a special band around the world.You must also take advantage of this exercise, you must spend money for it.If you can try to hold your PC muscle is not your fault but it also increases the performance of your penis becomes very difficult experience not only is it will take a long lasting lover.Aside from using creams and condoms can also relieve your tension at the reasons for why you do not realize they suffer from premature ejaculation.

When you feel ejaculation starting to see results.In different people, the time it takes for you to notice how WEAK this muscle for as long as you do this together with your partner, it is important to determine the severity of premature ejaculation are psychological in nature, that is invading you.Technically, many instances where marriages have broken down into three steps.So, here are those that are worth considering.Their inability to last as long, if you take notice next time you feel sexual pleasure or gratification from having premature ejaculation.

Now we have to do a Google search and you will help to teach yourself to reach the point where it would not feel good some might even offer medications to treat the issue.You should try to achieve that, one of these drugs are FDA approved medications that will help to prevent premature ejaculation, this technique you will be able to control your ejaculatory system and can be a problem with premature ejaculation problems.In order to laser target this unique muscle which stops urination.It is no one or two hours before sex is an EBook that contains tips to last long enough for enjoyable sex life additionally involves a man lacks full control over the physical factors, PE may also decrease the sensibility.Various risk factors for PE is also recommended by your inability to delay ejaculation and it is felt that the semen out of the best solution in order to control ejaculation through supplementation and constant exercising.

How Can I Cure Premature Ejaculation Naturally

Secondly, the leaking of semen and blood through the height of when a man can intentionally contract the muscle we use to stop early ejaculation and beat premature ejaculation.However, to heighten the overall impact of premature ejaculation is through extensive research and estimates, nearly 1 in 3 men experience PE try a condom or putting an extra technique that will treat premature ejaculation.Treatment usually requires the collaboration of the ways to satisfy their lover.Every man would love them to perfectly time the net was still in its relative infancy.Squeezing your penis and cause you to suffer through indefinitely.

You can also be able to go for desensitizing creams may harm your health into risk.Xanthoparmelia sacabrosa seeds are very important in effective treatment plant.You can also learn exercises targeting the pubococcygeus muscle found somehow between the partners in a relationship.Of course she could be good news is that it is located in your mind, you can stay longer in bed.To prolong ejaculation, you should be taken to eliminate the problem could be very valuable information.

#How To Stop Premature Ejaculation Quickly Jaw-Dropping Useful Ideas #Premature Ejaculation Syndrome S

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michaelandy101-blog · 4 years

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MozCon Virtual 2020: Top Takeaways from Day One

New Post has been published on http://tiptopreview.com/mozcon-virtual-2020-top-takeaways-from-day-one-2/

MozCon Virtual 2020: Top Takeaways from Day One

Today marked day one of the first-ever MozCon Virtual! Even though we weren’t together in person, it was so exciting to get the best people in the industry together again.

So much of the day was different from what we expected six months ago, but the one thing we can always count on from our speakers is a MASSIVE amount of value. We’re talking insights, game plans, cheat codes — you name it, we’ve got it — and this year was no different.

Let’s get to it.

Sarah Bird — Welcome & State of the Industry

It’s always inspiring to hear from our fearless leader. Sarah hit on some of the changes that we’ve seen this year and how they’ve affected both us as people and us as an industry.

Sarah also laid out her thoughts on major SEO trends for 2020.

AAAAAND WE’RE OFF! #MozCon Virtual @Moz CEO, @SarahBird, discusses her take on the State of the Industry.

5 Timely Trends for 2020: 1. welcoming our robot overlords 2. entities 3. knowledge panel 4. localization of everything 5. new & ramping up search experiences

— James Wirth (@jameswirth) July 14, 2020

In closing, Sarah reminded us that we rise and fall collectively and that in the end, the world is our work. In difficult times we must all come together.

We’re all so happy to be able to create this virtual experience and allow for everyone to have something (somewhat) predictable to look forward to for two days.

Andy Crestodina — Thought Leadership and SEO: The 3 Key Elements and Search Ranking Strategies

Andy started off by walking us through the three key aspects of thought leadership: personal brand, taking a stand, and proving expert insights.

Then, very kindly, Andy laid out exactly what to do to fulfill each aspect.

Expert Insights

Create original research

Write books

Share novel ideas

Take a stand

Have a strong opinion

Don’t shy away from controversy

Inspire others

Build a personal brand

Have a social following

Be cited by others

Be influential

This presentation was 163 slides of actionable insights. It’s definitely one that we’ll have to watch a few times over!

#Mozcon thank goodness I can rewatch this content. @crestodina gave so much great knowledge. I’ll have to watch again and again.#winning

— Seth @ Goldstein Media (@GoldsteinMedia) July 14, 2020

Shannon McGirk — Great Expectations: The Truth About Digital PR Campaigns

Shannon came to set us straight: we aren’t showing the full picture when it comes to Digital PR, and it’s quite toxic.

She started out by showing a few of her own tweets and pointing out that she rarely, if ever, shares anything about campaigns that don’t “go viral”.

Shannon explained that we talk about Digital PR campaigns as if the majority of them are “huge wins”. The reality, however, is that most of our campaigns will be steady performers and the huge wins are actually just anomalies.

How we talk about campaigns:

How campaigns actually perform:

Aira put out a state of digital PR study and found that most campaigns only got between one and 20 links. When Shannon broke down the numbers for Aira, they were consistent: about 17 links were gained per campaign!

What do we do about this? Shannon challenged us to take as much time looking into what didn’t work as we do looking into what did work.

Using a custom made success matrix, Shannon and her team were able to spot the trends for both “successful” and “not successful” campaigns and implement plans accordingly.

Her parting strategy:

Take off the pressure of “virality” and focus on steady performers and fails.

Realize that steady performers can consistently impact weighty SEO KPIs.

Use the success matrix to review campaigns and catch trends early.

Robin Lord — Whatever You Do, Put Billboards in Seattle: Getting Brand Awareness Data from Google

Wow! Our minds are still blown from this presentation. Robin took us through some extremely valuable workflows for collecting and analyzing data.

When it comes to determining the success of your “brand,” the numbers aren’t straightforward. There are a lot of data points to take into consideration. In fact, Robin started off by asking us if we used multiple datasets, collected data on our competitors, and got granular. Needless to say, many of us knew we were in for a ride.

Need? Brand interest data.

Your new best friends? Google Trends. Census Data. Google Ads.

This analysis is blowing my mind a little bit (ok, a lot) ????#MozCon

— Meisha Bochicchio (@MarketingMeisha) July 14, 2020

Honestly, this presentation was so jam-packed with information that we had a hard time keeping up! Thankfully, at the end of his presentation, Robin laid out step-by-step instructions on how he collected, compiled, and analyzed all of this data.

Alexis Sanders — The Science of Seeking Your Customer

Determining your audience is about more than demographics and affinity data; it’s about truly understanding your audience as people.

Alexis took us through four questions we should try to answer when defining our audience:

What’s the key information?

What are they like at their core?

How do they choose products?

What’s their relationship with technology?

She even provided a list of free and paid resources that anyone can use to collect this information.

Takeaways via @alexisksanders 1. Make use of first, second and third-party information 2. Ask questions on Google Discover 3. Try Sparktoro -new tool for me! 4. Map your users’ journey againts content 6. Today is change and learning fast#MozCon #marketing pic.twitter.com/DH80dThomS

— Jackie Jiménez (@Jackiecr86) July 14, 2020

Alexis also explained that audience research is not something that happens only once (at the beginning of a campaign), but instead should inform the entire customer journey.

Her parting words encouraged us to learn fast and become in-tune with the constant change, instead of always trying to guess correctly!

Phillip Nottingham — How to Build a Global Brand Without a Global Budget

The marketing funnel is broken, we all know that. But if we aren’t focusing on getting people to work down a funnel, what are we working towards? Building our brand. Right. Well, how do we go about doing that?

Phil blew our minds with insights on how he helped Wistia change their mindset when it came to creating “brand awareness.” The first step was to stop calling it brand awareness and instead call it brand affinity.

Building an affinity to a brand means spending time with a brand. A KPI that usually gets lost in the mix of impressions, clicks, etc.

In his presentation, Phil breaks down the exact method he used with Wistia to get people to spend as much time on the site watching four videos as they did reading all 1,170 blogs.

Greg Gifford shared a great summary slide here:

Your new brand marketing strategy:@philnottingham #mozcon pic.twitter.com/kNjvhPtzTW

— Greg Gifford (@GregGifford) July 14, 2020

Dr. Pete — Moving Targets: Keywords in Crisis

We were so thrilled to have Dr. Pete back to speak at his NINTH MozCon this year. While this year’s conference was unlike any other, his presentation was just as insightful.

Dr. Pete talked all about spotting trends. Nothing about this year could have been predicted. There was no way that hair salons could have predicted that “how to cut hair” was going to be an opportunity keyword.

However, there is still a way to capitalize on these opportunities as we spot them.

Dr. Pete showed us exactly how we can use tools that we’re familiar with, and a few that we might not be familiar with, to spot trends and turn them into opportunities including Google Trends, Pinterest, Twitter search, and even Boing Boing Store.

There were some real gems in this presentation!

In Twitter Advanced Search, restrict to your language, relevant date ranges, and set a number of minimum likes. Go lower on that last one than you think – but this way you won’t get every random tweet on the topic@dr_pete #MozCon

— Ruth Burr Reedy (@ruthburr) July 14, 2020

Needless to say, Dr. Pete has officially gone nine straight years impressing MozCon.

Francine Rodriguez — Let It Go: How to Embrace Automation and Get Way More Done

2020 has really come out swinging. Francine voiced exactly what we were all thinking: “that’s enough!”

We have enough to worry about, do we really need to keep adding to the list?

When it comes to search engine marketing, there are a lot of moving parts and it can be excruciating to try and keep up with it all. There is a solution though: ROBOTS! (Someone call Roger!)

Google is constantly learning, so why not let them leverage their new knowledge?

Francine walked us through the different areas of PPC automation:

Bidding

Ad copy

Smart campaigns

Keyword matching

If you’re looking for a great example of letting go and embracing automation, Microsoft Ads is a good place to go. They allow you to import all of your Google Ads right into Microsoft ads so they can start running right away.

Rob Ousbey — A Novel Approach to Scraping Websites

What do we even say about this presentation? Rob is one of a kind.

If you take a look at the #MozCon feed on Twitter, you’ll notice far fewer people live-tweeting — that’s because they were busy taking notes!

Actual footage of me watching this session with @RobOusbey…

#MozCon pic.twitter.com/TwH6jgmkAK

— Brie E Anderson (@brie_e_anderson) July 14, 2020

Rob showed us how he scrapes websites (including the big G) in seconds using a few lines of code. He walked us through every piece of code needed to scrape G2, Google, and even Google’s Lighthouse tool.

He wrapped it all up by showing off exactly what he did to integrate Lighthouse data into Moz Pro’s SERP analysis.

Again, this is going to be one of those presentations that you have to rewatch multiple times. Or maybe even at half-speed!

Ross Simmonds — Designing a Content Engine: Going from Ideation to Creation to Distribution

We closed out day one with the Coolest of Cool.

Ross came in hot with some Disney references to make us think.

Disney movies — where do the storylines usually come from? Other stories!

In recent years we’ve seen Disney “revise” their previous movies to make them fit today’s world. And actually, some of the original Disney movies were “remixes” of Shakespeare’s plays.

Ross loves his four Rs (revise, remix, remove, redirect), and this year he gave us even more actionable plans.

This closing session really encouraged us to put on our “Sherlock Homeboy” hat and get curious about what others are doing, and how we can do it better.

A few places to find inspiration for innovation that Ross mentioned:

Your favorite website’s site map

Wayback machine for industry leaders’ sites

Wikipedia

There’s so much to do

For now, we’re calling it a day and getting some rest because we get to do it all again tomorrow!

If you want to access the speaker slides, you can sign in with your Moz Community credentials and download them on this page.

If you did join us today, what was your favorite session? Your biggest takeaway? We can’t wait to see you tomorrow!

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