.

Dude I wish I could death ray zap my OCD

like ZZZP ZZZP!! STOP THINKING!!

sometimes i dont even recognise myself anymore when i look into the mirror or a photo.

normies that say “the intrusive thoughts won 🤪” in reaction to some perfectly socially acceptable and mildly quirky situation would have me not only institutionalized but locked behind a series of doors and perhaps thrown into an inescapable labyrinth with the minotaur never again to be seen by the world if they knew what my ocd made me think

Me watching Watcher become the rich Shane would want us to steal from

you can't destigmatize mental illness by playing into respectability politics

Re: your mental health comic - I hope, if any of those characters are based on real hallucinations youve had, that you don't have them anymore. You're a good person who doesn't deserve to be talked to like that.

(Referencing this or this post, I’m not sure which)

Thank you so much for your kind words! The characters in those works are representations of actual hallucinations I’ve experienced. They were real nasty pieces of work, but I haven’t actually hallucinated one in a severe enough manner to talk to them in about… Shoot. Hang on, I need to think… 5-ish years now? I think? And the last time I did, I heard a brief sentence before I took some heavy-duty meds that knocked me out and took care of the hallucination by the time I woke up. I’ve gone through a lot of growth between now and then, and I’m now in a place where the only lasting legacy those losers have had is making me very good at abstract descriptions + personifications and self-reflection. Their cruel words are fuzzy and vague things that I barely remember.

Heck, I went through some old notes to remember some nicknames I gave them, and it was a blast from the past that I actually laughed at! They actually called me “less than worthless” to the point I internalized and verbalized it many times? Wow. That’s pretty cringe, guys. You spent your entire lives bullying a teenager. Cool. Now I love myself and forgot that was ever a mantra I recited at all times in my head.

I once had a project I was working on where I made a fictionalized autobiography set in a fantasy world starring a self-insert and these jokers. It was going to be a kind of field guide to hallucinations I experienced. I stopped working on it after a while because it was too painful for me to develop, as it was meant to dig deep into the pain and struggles I went through on a daily basis… and now I’m looking back at it and considering making it a humorous story about how ridiculous my hallucinations were— at least the ones with consistent personalities. Comedy equals tragedy plus time, truly.

I might end up posting some of the more solemn journal comics I made about these chuckleheads... It'd be weird to dig up my significantly older work, but I think it would do me some good and maybe be enjoyable / educational for others!

unanswered star wars questions:

what do public bathrooms look like in kiffar space where about one percent of the population is psychometric?

squat toilets and bidets? depending on genitalia, you could bring your own device to piss standing up.

people think quinlan vos is a germophobe but there's no way he's putting his ass on a coruscanti toilet seat ever again. not after last time.

session number 2 today of talking to my therapist about glee alksjfsdklfs we talked about other stuff beforehand so i didnt get to give her the full recap of s2 we only got up to original song. i skipped comeback completely and was like "hmm i dont wanna talk about that one" and she's like "that's okay <3" but yeah i was like angrily recapping grilled cheesus and duets and such and making her hate finn lmao. she said she loved rocky horror and john stamos so she liked hearing about those parts. and she gasped when i told her about karofsky kissing kurt. it was a fun session lol

Wh

I had a friend come to visit last week, and one evening as we sat around drawing together we decided to both draw that scene where Pippin finds Merry after the battle.  I’ve drawn the scene before but not in a while and I’ve changed the design for both the characters.  And even though I am still getting over that art block from this year I had fun.  (Also that Merry-with-braids post has been doing well lately so I decided maybe I should finish off today’s art dump with this one since he has braids here as well.)

what

.

The fact that ppl are referring to their dumb impulses as intrusive thoughts while I'm sitting here getting hit out of nowhere with the thought that "hey if I took metformin without any food I could maybe kill myself" is.....interesting

Thinking back to how when I was in the fandom I literally couldn’t watch the show. Like I engaged with the fandom but I would go years without engaging with any official content because I would feel ashamed for being a fan if I did.

Turns out I had ocd so. That makes sense.

legit i get actual bad anxiety from my notps because my otp kinships just make other ships with those characters HUGE squicks for me. but im not going around telling people to kill themselves or that ill kill them if they tag something from me with those ships! even if its triggered my anxiety im still just going to ask them to remove the tag or reblog the post from someone else (if its a reblog). like what in the literal fuck is wrong with yall