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topperscumslut · 11 months

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ok it’s 2am and i can’t sleep and am going feral i have both my jobs tomorrow; my main one (running shoe store) from 10am to 5pm and then my side job (taco bell) that used to be my main job but i fucking hated it and put my two weeks in cuz i was closing til insane times in the morning 5 nights a week but they begged me to stay for just one night a week for a few hours a night so i reluctantly agreed, from 10pm to 2am probably 3am tbh and i spent the weekend at my sister’s house an hour away from where i work and live so imma get no sleep but i have many thoughts so here’s my in depth analysis of when the Harper quads were born that i spent HOURS trying to figure out

im surprisingly sober but i took a shot of pickle juice and am ready to go insane let’s GO

so let’s start with the basics - we know for a fact the quads were born between february 2004 and november 2004. how do we know that? bcuz of the Valentine’s Day episode (Valentime’s Day, s1e15) where the quads find an old tape from Valentine’s Day of 2004 that shows their parents finding out that they’re having quadruplets. now for some reason most of the fandom likes to think that Valentine’s Day is their birthday bcuz of this episode which makes NO SENSE bcuz a. why would they only find out they’re having quadruplets when Anne goes into labor and b. there was already a birthday episode (The Quadfather, s1e11) in the first season separate from the Valentine’s Day episode. even if they wanted to be surprised about the gender of the baby, Anne would’ve had an ultrasound at some point during the pregnancy to find out that the baby is healthy and would’ve been informed that it’s actually four fetuses instead of one.

which leads to me researching quadruplet pregnancies in a desperate attempt to find out at what point during the pregnancy this information would have been revealed to find out when their birthdate would logically be, where i learned that the earliest this would have happened would be 6 weeks in. not only that, but apparently quadruplet pregnancies usually only last about 30 weeks instead of 40. this SIGNIFICANTLY cuts down our range of dates by 16 weeks (6 weeks for the minimum of how far along Anne would have been, and 10 weeks for the decreased gestation period). if we take exactly nine months after february 14, 2004, we get november 14, 2004, and when we subtract those 16 weeks we get august 1, 2004. now while the NRDD fandom wiki lists all of the quads’ birthdates as february 14, 2004, if we go to the wiki for Avery, a classmate of the quads’ introduced in season 3, her birthdate is listed as june 1, 2004, and in the trivia section it’s included that she has the same birthday as the quads, which i’m 99.9% sure is never actually mentioned as canon in the show, but considering it fits in our range of dates, i kinda just rolled with it.

here’s where things get tricky - the ordering of the episodes. in season 1, the quads’ 10th birthday episode aired on January 10th, 2015 between the Christmas episode (Santa’s Little Harpers, s1e11) and the aforementioned Valentine’s Day episode, which would imply that they were born January 10, 2005, but we’ve already determined that that is impossible. it’s exponentially unlikely that Anne Harper was pregnant for a little over a year, this would make the quads the longest recorded pregnancy of all time. it’s also not possible that they were born in january 2004 as they were not yet conceived. in The Quadfather, if we look at the outfits worn by the characters it seems to reflect that it’s set sometime in spring or maybe a cool summer. so we kinda have to take the episode ordering out of the picture bcuz the writers clearly have not put as much thought into this as i have, but it’s still bothering me. in season 3, we encounter another slight problem in the ordering of the episodes’ releases, as s3e16 One Quadzy Summer (a summer vacation episode), s3e17 Quad for Teacher (an episode that shows the quads back at school), and s3ep18 Quadpendence Day (presumably a Fourth of July episode, which would still be during the summer) are all back to back. so the quads went on summer break, went back to school, and now suddenly it’s the Fourth of July? okay. the only possible explanations for this are a. Quad for Teacher is set in summer school… for some reason or more likely, b. the Independence Day episode isn’t actually set ON Independence Day, but rather as soon as they got back from summer break.

now while the june 1 date originally made sense, Ricky makes an interesting comment in Quad for Teacher. he comments about how many days the quads have been alive for, and i don’t remember the exact number, but i did the math and it would place said episode at 17 days after their 13th birthday. this further cements the fact that the quads were born summer of 2004, but early june would no longer make sense. there’s no way they would have been going back to school as early as june 18th. since this episode is preceded by a summer episode, it makes sense that this would be from when they were starting the school year rather than ending it. this raises another interesting topic - the birthday of Mae, Dawn’s best friend. on wikipedia, Mae’s birthday is listed as January 21, 2005, which i originally didn’t understand where that was coming from until i realized that in s3e3 Keeping Up with the Quadashians, it’s mentioned that it’s Mae’s birthday, and the episode aired on January 21, 2017. if this is indeed Mae’s birthday, it would place her in the graduating class of 2023, and considering Mae and the quads are in the same class, they would have been born in late summer or even early fall of 2004 for this to be possible. however, there are a few issues with this. first of all, just bcuz the episode featuring Mae’s birthday was released on this date doesn’t mean she actually was born on that date, as we know from the previous issue with the quads’ birthday in season 1. second of all, even if that is Mae’s birthday, we don’t have much reason to believe it would be her 12th birthday as it’s never stated in the episode. it’s much more likely that since the quads turned 13 in season 3 that she did as well and her birthday would be January 21, 2004. third of all, if Avery was born June 2004 and Mae was born January 2005, how the hell would they be in the same class?

this is the point where i realize that my theory is quickly unraveling and that it’s nearly 3am and im going to get a Power Nap instead of a full night of sleep before an 11 hour work day and am regretting all of my life decisions

so by this logic, the quads would most likely be the graduating class of 2022, or even possibly 2023 if they were born later in 2004. however, in s3e19 Cementing the Quad’s Legacy, released July 8, 2017, it’s revealed that the quads are graduating middle school as the class of 2017, which raises the question - what the fuck? if they’re graduating middle school and starting high school in 2017, they would have graduated high school in the class of 2021. i was class of 2021 and was born in july of 2003 and was already one of the youngest in my class. so how are you barely 13 and already going off to high school? and if this is the case, the previous summer only a FEW EPISODES BEFORE, where they turned 13, would be the summer of 2016, meaning they were born in 2003, which is SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. at this point my brain started to hurt and i ended up giving up on trying to make it fit into the episode timelines and instead turned to the scientific explanation and what we already know about Anne’s pregnancy with the quads.

so we already know the earliest Anne could have found out about her quadruple pregnancy is 6 weeks along, but after thorough research, apparently the average time after conception when this information is available over ultrasound would be 7-8 weeks. so if we subtract 1-2 weeks from our estimated latest possible date of august 1, then we get the most likely range of july 17-24, which checks out with Ricky’s comment as it’s logical for them to be back to school around early august.

in conclusion, the Harper quads were most likely born late july of 2004, and i need to go the fuck to sleep as it is 3:08am. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

update: it’s come to my attention thru further research that finding out about quads would likely happen closer to 12 weeks, which pushes our date back further to june 19. however, considering the flighty nature of Tom and Anne Harper, it’s very possible and potentially even more likely that they didn’t end up finding out until even further along, and the quads could’ve have been born in mid to late may of 2004, meaning One Quadzy Summer could still be set in the summer of 2016 but Quad for Teacher, Quadpendence Day, and Cementing the Quads’ Legacy could all be set in may of 2017, though it would be strange that the show would skip almost a year ahead from summer of 2016 to late spring of 2017. it’s also possible (but weird af) that the quads are in an extremely unconventional schooling system where they graduate middle school after 7th grade, and start high school in 8th, making them still the class of 2022. idfk im very confused and sleep deprived and my brain hurts again.

my best guess is anywhere from mid may to early august of 2004 but im just baffled at this point.

another update: god whoever is editing the fandom wiki clearly wasn’t paying attention to the show. i was wondering where the “fact” that Avery and the quads share a birthday came from, but i just watched s3e13 Quadspiracy Theory where the foreign exchange student Britt throws a surprise party for the quads on Avery’s birthday, but it’s CLEARLY stated in the episode that it’s not a birthday party and Nicky even says that their birthday isn’t for another 5 months. that episode aired on august 4, 2018, which once again brings us to the january 2005 date, which as we’ve covered is scientifically impossible. also kinda irrelevant but Nicky is shown eating meat during some of the final episodes after deciding to be a vegetarian in s4e8 Quadentity Crisis. god the plot holes run DEEP.

#nicky ricky dicky & dawn #nicky ricky dicky and dawn #harper quads #nicky harper #ricky harper #dicky harper #dawn harper #anne harper #tom harper #mae valentine #aidan gallagher #mace coronel #lizzy greene #casey simpson

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scottatron · 1 year

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"...like barnacle meat!"

This episode was seriously one of the funniest in a while. So much great dialog.

That Matsson + Shiv convo was 💯 too.

#succession #team tom #no notes #assemble the quad squad

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rockbottomramblings · 5 months

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wenclair au where wednesday stumbles into the nearest establishment she can find to take shelter from the sweltering summer heat, only to discover it’s a cat cafe.

she hates the colours, she hates the fur that tickles her nose, she hates the tackiness of the tabletop, sticky little ring silhouettes left behind as spectres of the ridiculously syrupy drinks that lay there before; and above all, she hates the unnecessarily cheerful blonde abomination stood grinning at her behind the counter as she squirts whipped cream directly into her mouth, the glittery nametag informing her of a name she equally hates - Enid.

she hates that she returns the next day, and the next, and the one after that. she hates that she’s slowly learning the difference between Milly and Molly, two near identical black cats that have taken a liking to her.

she hates how she now knows the back booth is reserved exclusively for her, the table pristine, a freshly made quad over ice waiting expectantly. she hates the soft “thank you” that falls from her lips.

she hates the way she finds herself smiling softly as she watches the barista have what appears to be a very serious conversation with Alfred, an incredibly old, incredibly deaf ginger tom.

she hates the way the blush creeps up her neck when she’s caught staring, a wolfish grin and a wink thrown casually in her direction. she hates the way Enid’s name is permanently at the tip of her tongue as though she’d been saying it all her life, she hates the way she can’t help but add a softness when she allows her tongue the freedom to say it.

she hates the way Enid stumbles over her words as she asks to take her out to dinner. she hates that she replies with the affirmative before the blonde has even finished her sentence, both turning a violent shade of red.

she hates the weakness in her knees, the light perspiration of her palms and the way she can feel her cheeks dimple as another rogue smile finds its way upon her face.

she hates how reminiscent she is of her father, and how easily she had allowed herself to be ensnared by her enigmatic opposite. she hates the steadying weight of Enid’s hand in hers, she hates the way her traitorous heart thunders as the mere thought of the woman, but mostly, she absolutely despises the way she doesn’t hate it at all, not one, tiny bit.

#wenclair #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #wenclair au #i’m literally just talking to myself here idk what this is #wednesday: i hate you. kiss me #i’m rambling

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shivorce · 11 months

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that last tom and greg interaction …… i could write paragraphs. greg’s last slimy conniving move was another attempt to get in on a family venture and be a quad with his cousins and when that backfires the person who welcomes him back is tom the outsider. tom who knows exactly who greg is, underhanded backstabbing and all, and accepts and cares for him anyway. tom who brought stickers from logan’s apartment just so he could do a bit. greg has only gotten worse and he’ll never face any consequences but it doesn’t matter because tom’s in his corner unconditionally. it’s unbelievable

#succession spoilers #post

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ornii · 5 months

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I didn’t realize how much people liked the Clark Kent Smallville X Wednesday Crossover. So I have to do a Part 2! Where you can read here!

The God Among Men, Part 2

(Y/n) and Wednesday continue to stare at each other. (Y/n)’s concentration breaks and he plummets from the sky to a loud bang on the ground, Wednesday quickly puts her string down and rushes to the balcony’s edge to see his fate. She peers over the railing and was surprised to see (Y/n) sitting up, rubbing his back.

“Ow..” he said, a fall that height should cause serious damage to the body but it looks like it did nothing to him. (Y/n) realizes just how bad this looks, his attention turns upward to Wednesday.

“Umm, Sorry!” He yells, before standing up to run away out of embarrassment. He hoped that this would be a singular mishap and leave it at that, unfortunately this is Wednesday Addams, and nothing is singular with her. (Y/n) unfortunately shared a chemistry class together so avoiding her was useless. The next morning was more than awkward, he kept his eyes locked on Miss Thornhill to avoid Wednesdays side eye. When class ends almost like a blur he’s already trying to get to the quad to lose Wednesday, getting round a corner he breathed a sigh of relief. Until Wednesday comes almost out of nowhere and pins him to the wall. Granted he towers over her at 5’11, her 5’1 absolutely intimidating stature wasn’t something the Kansas boy was used to.

“So, we have a peeping Tom in our midsts.” She keeps that cold, deathstare.

“No! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, I was just listening to your music and I, got too close..” he sheepishly keeps his eyes from locking on hers.

“They’d expel you for what you’ve done, but.. I’ll consider looking the other way..” she said, his eyes slowly locked with hers. “For your undying service..”

“Undying Service? That, seems a bit extreme doesn’t it? Why not something more, mild?” He asks awkwardly.

“I don’t do mild. Either take my offer or be shipped away to a juvenile prison.”

“.. okay, fine.” He relents, Wednesday wasn’t your typical mean girl, she wasn’t mean she was, cold, Unnerving, probably dead too. But she knew how to use people to her advantage, no matter how pure hearted they are. “What do you want me to do?” (Y/n) asks, Wednesday steps back, letting him have his own personal space finally.

“Nothing. Yet. But I will call upon you, one day… it’s in your best interest to not forget our arrangement.” She gives one last threat before leaving like a shadow, (Y/n) let’s put a sigh, hoping that this will be quickly put to an end. Little did he know it was very, far from over.

“Why am I doing this?” (Y/n) walks though the cemetery with Wednesday, who’s ignoring his crying and whining.

“Because you swore an oath of Fealty.”

“No, no I didn’t.” He replies, “I’m being blackmailed.

“Same thing.” She retorts. They stop at a large tomb, “this, open it.” She said. (Y/n) looks at her.

“That’s it?”

“I can come up with more for you to do..” Wednesday ponders

“No no this is fine, I just expected, more.”

“More? It’s an ancient Crackstone tomb sealed for hundreds of years. I had to recruit someone who decipher the password to open it.” She says, (Y/n) simply turns his head to the door and concentrates, she watches red gleam from his eyes. She was stunned by the beam of intense heat that cut though the stone wall, he creates a shape hole and it begins to collapse. She steps back to avoid being crushed, (Y/n) so calmly lifted his hand, it hits his palm and didn’t move an inch, Wednesday watches in shock as he casually tosses the door to the side.

“So, we keep going?” He asks Her, Wednesday didn’t know what to say.

“Y-yes, let’s.” She said and walked into the Tomb, the cold decrepit place smelled of death. A lingering smirk crept along her face. (Y/n) felt the stench of death and he follows the girl around. Staring at the spot on the back of her head.

“So, what are you here for?” He asks her; who begins to look around the tomb.

“Do you remember Rowan?”

“The guy you said was murdered and who randomly appeared fine the next day?” He replies sarcastically. Wednesday morning chores his quip and searches the interior for any inscribing.

“Point is, It’s my belief that Rowan was killed, and the one you saw was a fake, someone meant to keep up appearances. It would be tragic to hear that a student was murdered here. Bad press and all that.” Wednesday explains, (Y/n) rubs his chin.

“Well when I used my X-ray vision, everything seemed fine with him.”

“X-ray Vision?” Wednesday Asks.

“Yeah, let’s me see though walls, rocks, inside the human body, no lead though.” He adds in.

“So it allows you to see though clothes as well.”

“Uh, Yeah?” He replies, and quickly makes the assessment of what Wednesday was thinking. “I didn’t use it on you. I promise.” He said, Wednesday stares daggers into his eyes and sees he’s genuine about it, and drops the conversation.

“Point is, I had a, vision.. Crackstone putting innocent lives to the stake. Nevermore lives, like you and I.” Wednesday looks over to multiple inscriptions over the tomb.

“So my theory lead to the serial killer and the knee covering up the murders. They aren’t working together, but they’re covering up third killings to avoid more scrutiny from the public.” She explains, reading a tombstone.

“So, they’re letting this killer get away because they don’t want the public to freak out?”

“So to speak, from what the Principal tried to infer to me, it’s all ridiculous And self serving for Jericho.”

“… You’re right.” He said, Wednesday wasn’t used to hearing someone actually agree with her.

“It’s wrong, covering up the truth to make life easier, just makes the people who know it hate it even more.” (Y/n) walks over to Wednesday, their height difference was profound as she had to almost look up to him.

“If you’re searching for the truth. I want to help, I’m not as smart as you I’ll admit but I’ll do my best.” He says, Wednesday, even if she didn’t act like it, appreciated the gesture. The two exit the tomb and Wednesday dusts herself off.

“As much as I enjoy the decrepit and cold ambiance, I hate getting my clothes with cobwebs.

“I could blow it off for you.”

“If your breath could freeze me to death like you said, I’d rather not.” She says, (Y/n) checks his watch.

“It’s nearing 3, we’ll be late for class.” (Y/n)

“And Weems would have my head for being late.” Wednesday said, grumbling. (Y/n) offers his hand, Wednesday looks at it and then back up to him.

“Absolutely not.”

“Why not?”

“I despise human contact, especially yours.”

“Wednesday, if we want to find this Killer we have to stay in Weems Good graces, so put your big girl Stockings on and take my hand!” He said with much more serious flare. Wednesday reluctantly sighs.

“Fine, just do what’s necessary—“ Before she could properly warn him, he swept her off her feet like the Prince Charming he is, and leaped, flying into the air. The sudden shift in air and temperature caught Wednesday off guard, she looked down, seeing the cemetery and the entire Nevermore grounds before her.

Height was always something she never truly appreciated until now, being able to see, everything, changed that. (Y/n) held her close as he searched for the Mathematics and Murder class. Finding the door he slowly descends down. Wednesday’s eyes went to his face as he kept them on the ground, he descended from the sky as if he was a god among men, landing calmly on the Quad he lets her go, still having his arm around her waist to keep her balance.

“Feeling okay?” He asks.

“Get your hand from around me before you lose it.” She demands, (Y/n) quickly moved, “Sorry.” He said, Wednesday said nothing and simply walked to class, she didn’t look back at him, either out of anger or embarrassment. (Y/n) shook his head and went to his. It seems this agreement could be much more than Wednesday herself could have asked for.

#netflix #male reader #wednesday #wednesday addams x male reader #wednesday x reader #reader insert #wednesday addams x reader #wedensday x you #superhero #superman #dc comics

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lnfours · 11 months

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sideline (one) | t.h

summary -> tom holland: the name thats always floating around campus, and for good reason. he’s the captain of the hockey team, he’s good looking, and he’s always caught up in an off and on again relationship with the president of the sorority. that’s where you come in. you two had made a deal to make your exes jealous, but we all know how fake relationships end.

wc -> an introductory 3.1k :)

warnings -> mentions of being cheated on, drinking, and language.

🎵 spotify playlist | 📖 prev/next chapter | 📂 masterlist

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

summer had gone by in a blink of an eye, and before you knew it, it was fall. the start of junior year, the second to last year of your college education. the year where almost everyone starts to realize ‘oh, this shit is real’ and really whip themselves into shape.

you had gotten back to your off campus house before your two other roommates. you had met the two other girls you now call best friends during your freshman year. there was sarah, who was your roommate your first year, and mia, who was your neighbor in the dorms.

you enjoyed being the first one to the house. you could move in your stuff peacefully without having the other girl’s stuff in the way. plus, you could play music as loud as you wanted to. that is, with the exception of the open window and the other students looking up towards your room whenever they walked by.

and of course, just like it was last year, once the others girls arrived: chaos ensued.

“oh my god, the hockey team is throwing a party tonight,” mia practically yelled from the kitchen, “we have to go!”

mia was the wild child, the party animal out of the three of you. sarah was a lot more like you, someone who would rather stay at home and watch a good movie than go out to a party. however, over the past couple semesters, mia has gotten you more out of your shell.

which she may or may not take a little for granted on some occasions.

you shook your head, “hell no.”

“why not?” she frowned. you rolled your eyes.

“because if the hockey team is throwing a party then you know, about 99.9% of the time, taylor and her posse are gonna be there.”

taylor harrison, the president of the sorority and the literal definition of daddy’s money. she's the type of girl who gets what she wants when she wants it, and if she doesn't then all hell brakes loose.

it didn't help that she was the girl every guy had their eye on. the girl, that for some reason, every girl wanted to be approved by her and be her friend. you couldn't understand why someone would want to get sucked into her toxic, little circle.

“besides,” you shrugged, “jack and i have plans.”

the two other girls sent you playful looks, “plans?”

“oh, shut up.”

jack had been your boyfriend since the beginning of last year. the two of you were in the same class, he sat next to you and the rest is history. it was cliche and something that happens to everyone, but you could tell that it was different with him.

“well then,” mia sighed, looking over at sarah, “i guess you’re forced into going to the party this time.”

sarah groaned, “seriously? there’s a new episode of drag race i need to watch.”

mia gave her a look, “i’ll buy you coffee for a week.”

sarah rolled her eyes before looking back over at you, watching as you slowly backed away from the conversation, “you owe me.”

you laughed, hand on the knob to the front door, “sorry! gotta go!”

you quickly left the house before you were convinced to skip out on jack and go to the party too. you made your way towards the campus apartment buildings, giving small smiles to a couple of the familiar faces that passed you. you had made your way through the group of people in the quad, going inside the building and heading for the stairs.

you reached his apartment door and knocked, but there was no answer. you waited a couple seconds as you heard shuffling from the other side of the door.

you knocked again, “jack?”

with no answer yet again, you reached for the door knob and turned it slowly, but you wish you hadn’t. you watched as a red headed girl held her shirt up, covering her chest and as jack froze in place in front of the door, shirtless with hickeys littering his collarbone.

you didn't know what to say, or how to react as the girl turned around and put her shirt on.

“y/n, baby, this isn’t what it looks like-“

you cut him off with a hard slap across his face. the red headed girl gasped quietly. you sent her a look.

“don’t you have somewhere to be?”

she gathered her things quickly before talking to jack before she pushed past you, “i’ll call you?”

he didn’t answer her, just stood there looking at you. you watched her leave as she quickly made her way towards the staircase at the end of the hall, disappearing behind other people.

“how could you?” you asked, your voice breaking as tears threatened to spill over your eyes.

“i’m sorry-“

“don't,” you mumbled, “we’re done.”

he watched as you turned away from him, walking towards the stairs. you ignored his calls to come back as tears spilled out of your eyes and onto the tile of the hallway.

you took out your phone, sending a text to the groupchat with mia and sarah.

y/n change of plans, not going to jacks. you guys at the party yet?

sarah unfortunately what happened with jack?

y/n ill explain when i get there

mia YAY Y/NS COMING TO THE PARTY!!!

you locked your phone, shoving it into the back pocket of your jeans as you made your way towards the house party. most of the guys on the hockey team had done the same thing as you and your friends, they had decided to share a house off campus. it was the hotspot for all the parties and they were known to throw the best of them.

you walked up the path, people sitting outside with drinks in their hands as music boomed from inside the house. you made your way through the door, looking for sarah and mia, but they were nowhere to be found.

you sighed, making your way to the kitchen instead. you went through the different alcohols and mixed up some kind of concoction into your cup, gulping it down before reaching for another alcohol. you poured a heavy amount, someone walking into the kitchen and coming up next to you, grabbing a can of soda.

“damn, rough day?”

you instantly knew that accent. tom holland. the captain of the hockey team, the hottest guy on campus.

and taylor harrington’s boyfriend. or ex boyfriend. it really depended on how she felt that day.

“you could say that.”

he watched as you mixed the vodka with a can of soda. you didn’t tense at his gaze, didn’t immediately want to keep his interest. but something about you made his eyes linger a little longer than he would’ve done with anyone else.

“you alright?” he asked, still watching as you sipped the drink from your cup. you made eye contact this time, nodding as you swallowed.

“not really, but it’s not like you necessarily care, right?”

you didn’t mean to sound like an ass, but you really didn’t want to deal with taylor’s bitching if she saw you talking to tom. you were pretty sure that if she were to say something to you right now, you’d rip the overpriced extensions out of her bleach blonde head.

“i mean if you’re upset about something, i think it’s best if you talk about it. especially ‘cause it looks like you’ve been crying.”

why's he so nice?

“and what? talk to you about my problems? no thanks.”

he shrugged, leaning against the counter, “can’t say i didn’t try.”

you took another sip before looking back at him. you didn’t mean for your eyes to linger around his jawline, but god he was hot. any girl, or guy, would say the same thing. he was easy on the eyes, extremely good at his sport and he got near perfect grades. he literally checked all the boxes.

that’s when you noticed something was missing, “where’s your barbie girlfriend and her minions?”

he laughed, “not a clue, could care less to be honest with you.”

you raised an eyebrow, “what? did she break up with you for the 30th time today because you didn’t get her a chanel bag?”

he smiled, “nah, i broke up with her. caught her sleeping with this other guy.”

your eyes widened, mentally cursing yourself for being such a dick, “oh, uhm- i’m sorry.”

“no, it’s okay-“

“it’s not, because i know what it feels like,” you said, your eyes meeting his brown ones, “it sucks.”

“how long ago, if you don’t mind me asking?”

you looked down at your phone, glancing at the time, “about forty-five minutes ago.”

his eyes widened softly, “shit, i’m sorry.”

you shrugged, “what can you do, right?”

he nodded, “suppose you’re right.”

it was quiet for a couple seconds before he spoke up again, “is there a part of you that kinda wants them to be jealous? like see you with someone else and be like ‘damn, i shouldn’t have fucked that up’? or is it just me?”

you thought about it for a second. thought about the look on jack’s face if he were to see you with someone else, if he would even react. you thought about rubbing it into his face that you found someone better, someone who would never betray your trust.

“yeah,” you nodded, “now that you mention it.”

your conversion was interrupted when mia and sarah made their way into the kitchen, “y/n! there you are!”

you smiled at sarah, clearly seeing a very drunk mia.

“hey,” sarah said, “so what happened with jack?”

“it’s a long story, i’ll explain later,” you said, grabbing the bottle of tequila out of mia’s hands, “let’s put that down, yeah?”

“but ‘m not even drunk!” you were surprised you were able to make out the sentence from how slurred her words were.

you chuckled, “trust me, you are,” you looked over at sarah, “we should head back to the house.”

she nodded back at you, agreeing. tom spoke up once again, “hey, i could give you guys a ride back to your house.”

you waved him off, smiling politely, “no, it’s okay. it’s not that far of a walk.”

“no, no, i insist,” he said, fishing his keys out of his pocket, “just tell me how to get there.”

you looked at him, “you’re sober?”

“yeah,” he said, “i don’t really drink.”

you nodded to him, knowing he wouldn’t take no for an answer. you let sarah and mia walk in front of you, tom on your left. he walked up to a group of guys that you assumed to be his house and teammates.

“hey, i’ll be back in a little.”

“sounds good, man.”

he nodded towards the door, placing his hand on the small of your back to lead you through the crowd. as you pushed through with tom following behind, you noticed the looks that got thrown your way.

of course everyone’s eyes were on you, you were walking with tom holland, who had his hand on your back. of course it looked a little bit conspicuous to anyone who was watching.

once you were outside, he unlocked the audi that was sitting in the driveway, mia and sarah filing into the backseat as you climbed into the passenger side.

“so, where to, ladies?”

“we’re on lincoln, in one of the off campus houses.” sarah said, letting mia lean her head on her shoulder.

he nodded, putting the car in reverse. the music softly playing from the speakers as you found yourself staring out the window, losing yourself in thought as tom made small conversation with sarah in the back.

“hey,” his voice directed towards you as it pulled you out of your train of thought, “you alright?”

you looked over at him, sending him a tight lipped smile and a nod, “yeah.”

“you sure?” he looked back over at you before looking at the road in front of him, “you’re not a very good liar.”

you sighed, “just thinking about what you mentioned earlier, you know the whole ‘making my shitty ex jealous’ thing.”

he nodded, “yeah, it’s just the coming up with something that would bother them that’s the hard part.”

you nodded in agreement, looking back out the window. you started thinking of ways that you could make it look like you were doing so much better than jack, something that would instantly make him regret cheating on you.

that’s when it hit you.

“a fake relationship!” you said, tom’s attention turning back to you.

his eyebrows were furrowed, “what?”

“you know, get into a fake relationship with someone. you go out and pretend that the two of you are dating, the other person would obviously know it’s fake, and the both of you could benefit from the ‘relationship’. the best thing about it is that no one else would know you're not together, only the two of you.”

he nodded, “doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

“of course it doesn’t, because i came up with it,” you smirked, “and i’m the mastermind.”

he let out a chuckle as you pointed to your house, telling him he could just pull up in front of it. he did as you had asked, pulling in front of the house and unlocking the doors so the three of you could get out.

“thanks for the ride, tom!” sarah smiled, helping mia out of the car as she led her towards the house.

“anytime.”

you watched your roommates from where you were standing by the open car door. once you saw they were inside, you looked back at him.

“thanks for letting me vent,” you smiled, “and for the ride, too,” you tucked a piece of hair behind your hair as the wind softly blew it in front of your face, "you know, she really ruined your reputation."

he smiled from the drivers side, “i’ve heard that more than you think.”

you smiled back, “thanks again.”

“always.”

you closed the door to the car softly, making your way to the front door. you had noticed he stayed in the car, making sure you made it to the door okay. you sent him a small wave as you closed the door, locking it and turning off the outside light.

you leaned up against the wooden frame, looking back at your grinning roommates, “what?”

“tom freaking holland just drove us home because of you!” mia said, “how did that even happen?!”

you rolled your eyes, “nothing happened. nothings happening, okay? we’re just in the same situation.”

“oh, yeah,” sarah said as you made your way into the kitchen, “what happened with jack?”

you took a deep breath as you grabbed a water bottle, the two girls anxiously waiting for you to tell them why you were so upset.

“i uh, i went over to his apartment and he was fucking another girl,” you said, both of their mouths dropping open, “and i broke up with him.”

“i’m so sorry,” mia said, “he didn’t deserve you.”

“what a dick!” sarah rolled her eyes, both of the girls walking over and wrapping you in a group hug, “we love you.”

you smiled, “i love you guys.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“what, so are they broken up or are they dating still?” you asked, watching whatever reality show sarah had put on the living room tv. she shrugged her shoulders.

“not really sure.”

“if i was her, i’d break up with him.” mia said from her side of the couch. sarah nodded her head, pointing at her as a silent way of saying she made a point.

there was a knock on the door, pulling all of you away from the show. you got up from your seat, putting your drink down, “i got it.”

you walked over to the front door, unlocking it as you peeked open the door. you opened it the rest of the way as you smiled at the brunette boy in front of you.

“stalker much?” you joked and he let out a soft laugh.

“hello to you, too,” he joked back at you, “do you have a minute? i uh... have to talk to you about something.”

you nodded, letting him inside the house. sarah and mia watched from the living room, eyebrows raised as you shut the door.

“hey, tom!”

he smiled back at the girls in the living room, sending them a small wave as they sent you a look. you waved your hand in front of your neck, telling them to cut it out.

“we’re going upstairs.” you grabbed tom’s arm, pulling him away from the looks your friends were sending. he followed you up the wooden steps and into your room. he looked around at your room as you closed the door.

you sat cris-cross on the bed, waving towards the desk chair and the bed, “you can sit wherever.”

he nodded, opting for the desk chair, “thanks.”

you sent him a soft smile, “so, what’s up?”

“so, i’ve been thinking about what you said in the car last night, the whole ‘fake dating’ thing,” he started, taking a pause to make sure you understood what he was talking about. when you nodded, he continued, “what if we 'fake-dated' each other? i mean, i know it’s kind of crazy beings we barely know each other, but you said it’s better to choose someone who knows it’s fake and someone who could also benefit from it. plus, you said you wanted to make your ex jealous too. you check all of the boxes.”

you raised an eyebrow, “i… i uh-“

“i know, i'm sorry to just kind of throw it all onto you at once, but i’ve been thinking about it since last night. i mean, you are the mastermind, right?” he smirked and you rolled your eyes playfully.

at the end of the day, how bad could it be?

“what if i say no?”

he was silent for a second, “i didn’t really think you’d be opposed.”

you let out a sigh, why am i doing this?

“okay, fine, you have a deal,” you extended your hand out for him to shake, when he reached for it, you pulled your hand back. he shot you a confused look.

“however, we’re doing it by my rules.”

he shook your hand, “deal.”

you pointed to the notepad and the pen on your desk, “can you hand me that, please?”

he nodded, grabbing the paper and pen off the desk. you turned to a blank page, writing at the top of the page.

fake dating rules:

“okay, number one,” you said, tapping the pen against the notebook as you thought about the first rule. when it came to your mind, you immediately started writing it down, “no strings attached. this is simply just to get back at our shitty exes.”

he nodded, “oh, you have to come to my games and the hockey team parties. gotta make it look like you’re an actual supportive girlfriend.”

"the games i'm alright with, but the parties?" you scrunched your face up. he gave you a look, but softened when he came to an agreement.

"okay, not all of them, but most of them."

you rolled your eyes, "fine."

you wrote down what he said as rule number two, “anything else?”

“one ‘date’ per week. we get to know more about each other so it doesn’t seem suspicious to anyone we talk to about our ‘relationship’.”

you wrote it down, adding the last rule in all capital letters and underlined it, “no one knows it’s a fake relationship. absolutely no one.”

he nodded in agreement, watching as you made makeshift signature lines. you passed him the notebook as he let out a soft laugh, taking the pen from your grip. he signed on his line, your signature going next to his.

“so it’s settled, girlfriend.” you smiled, “it’s settled, boyfriend.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

💌 beings my tagged list has gotten so long that tumblr literally won't let me add it, the tagged list is temporarily closed until i can figure it out. in the meantime, be sure to follow and turn on notifications for @toms-gf to be notified whenever i post imagines :)

xoxo, jordan

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twinge-of-cosmicangst · 1 year

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I mean quad squad is obviously cringefest and Greg wants to get in with them so desperately to improve his career prospects if things go south with Tom. But at the same time I think it’s also about genuinely wanting to feel like he’s part of a family “but he’s not even a first cousin” I mean exactly, Greg has no siblings himself, and as Marianne is an only child herself, he doesn’t even have any first cousins, he may have some on his dad’s side but it’s unlikely he’s in contact with them, it’s implied that he isn’t even in contact with his dad. He and his Grandpa have had a possible permanent falling out, and his relationship with his mother doesn’t seem to be great, considering she wouldn’t send him any money when he was literally homeless, and yet when he came into money and paid for a credit card for her, she maxed it out when she thought that things would go bad for Greg because he had sided with Kendall! That really doesn’t scream supportive parent. Thinking about him saying “I’m basically an honorary kid… Marcia always said I was welcome” in s4e1 (which I also made a post about lol). Thinking about Roman saying to him in s4e4 “You need to find a new mommy, we’re not your mommy” and then him immediately seeking out Marcia. Thinking about how when Tom was trying to get him to read the cruise documents all the way back in season 1, and how he was obviously reluctant to do so, and about how Tom got him to do it by telling him “You’re family” in an extremely threatening way but Greg taking it as a compliment and saying “Thank you” and gladly taking the documents. Thinking about how Greg did show some reluctance when Tom asked him to, come with him, in s3e9, until Tom said (again in quite a threatening voice) “Who has ever looked after you in this fucking family?”

#greg hirsch #tomgreg #tom wambsgans #greg apologist 4life #the awkward moment when the person who you’re closest to in your family is your second cousin in law #does this make Tom Greg’s mommy- wait who said that

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weirdlookindog · 1 year

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Voodoo Woman (1957) British Quad

#voodoo woman #marla english #tom conway #mike connors #1950s movies #edward l. cahn #british quad #horror movie poster

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mitsukiwa · 4 months

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Do virgins taste better (tom kaulitz)

9:34 a.m September, Monday.

Shit shit shit.

I was really late for my first day of school. Classes had started at 8:40 and it was already 9.

Great way to start the first day of school.

I had forgotten to set my alarm last night before I went to bed.

I woke up on my own, only to find out I was an hour late.

Because my mom had to head to work this morning I had to walk to school, it took me half an hour.

Nonetheless I arrived late but there.

I head into the office and I'm met with a lady at the desk.

She calls me over.

I walk up to her desk

"Hello, what can I help you with?" She questions, the glasses she wore slid down a bit on the slope of her nose.

"I'm new here, I start today" I say.

She gives a firm nod. "Go into this door, and on the right there's a door the counselor there should help you"

"Okay, thank you"

She clicks a button from her place behind the desk. I hear the doors click open.

I push open the double doors, and walk up to the dark green door on my right.

I open the door, and step in. The heavy door behind me slams shut.

I look to the right and see another desk.

But there wasn't anyone there.

I look around, the room was empty.

I sat on one of the chairs that were lined up against the wall.

A few minutes pass by as I sit there.

Finally the door opens and a women stand before me, she looked to be in her mid 20's.

"Hi, did you need help?" She asks.

"Yeah, um the lady from the front said to come to you"

"Are you a new student?" She ask, walking around he desk to sit herself down.

"Yeah" I get up from the chair walking up to the desk.

"What's your name, sweetie?" She looked up from her computer.

"Y/N"

"Last name?" She begins typing in my first name into her keyboard.

"L/N"

"Okay, I'ma have you speak to your counselor, she'll arrange your classes" she gets up from the swivel chair.

Walking around it, and over to another door, I follow close behind her.

We walk down a hallway, then stop behind a particular door. She knocks three times, until the door is pulled open from the inside.

We're met with a lady. She smiled at the woman beside me, then she smiles at me.

"This is a new student, she needs to get her classes set up" The woman beside me said.

"Of course come in, honey" she motions me inside.

I step into her room, the woman from before excuses herself and leaves the room.

"Take a seat" the lady tells me.

I sit down Infront of her.

"Alright, what elective would you like?" She asks.

While she typed into her keyboard.

(Guys wtv elective u guys chose)

"Since that elective is full during the day, I will schedule it for you for your first period" she says.

I nod, "that's fine"

"Okay, let me get your schedule printed out"

After my schedule is printed she walks out the door with me and back to the room where the women from before was.

"You'll have someone to give you a tour" she said as we walked to the room.

____

"This is the quad, and over there is where the lunch area is" he points towards the area.

I nod my head as I look around.

"Changing room for P.E is over here" He continues.

After he gives the quick tour, he walks me to my first period.

I was nervous, so much so I felt my heart beating hard in my ears.

He knocks on the door, I could hear talking from outside the door.

The door to the classroom Is pulled open revealing a teacher.

"Hello" she tells the boy who had given me the tour

"Hi, Mrs Anderson, she's a new student" he says.

She smiles at me, "welcome, what's your name?" She asks

"I'm Y/N nice to meet you MS."

"same here, come in" she says enthusiastic.

The boy passes me the schedule back than leaving.

I enter the classroom.

She tells me too sit at a table, near the door. There's three people sat at that table. I sit at the empty seat beside a boy.

He turns to me, flashing me a smile.

"You're new here?" He asks. An accent heavy on his tongue.

I nod, "yeah, I just started today"

"What school did you come from?"

"I did homeschool" I say.

"Did you like it?" He questions.

I hum as I thought, "Well, kinda I mean I had to much time on my hands"

"That would be cool" he raises his brows amused.

"I guess, it does get boring" I reply.

"What lunch do you have?" He catechizes.

"I have second lunch" I say looking down at my paper.

"I have second lunch too, you should hang with me and my friends" he says.

I smile at that, "sure"

"I'm George by the way" George says.

"I'm Y/N"

"Nice to meet you Y/N" he grins at me.

I realized I liked his smile, and his eyes.

"Nice to meet you too"

__________________

I was running late to my 4th period, and soon the bell had rang.

I let out a frustrated groan as I walked down by the buildings in search for the F-Buildig. Which was all the way to the other side of campus.

The halls were now empty, the students were now in there classes.

Soon enough I found the f-building. I walk down the halls. My eyes scanning each door number; my schedule said I had F-4. My guess was that it was down the hall.

I walk faster, pacing my steps. I wasn't paying attention; looking at the door numbers when my body collided with a firm chest.

I fall onto my but; I let out an 'ow'.

"Watch where you're going" a voice above me said. The voice belonged to a male. And in the way he said them he didn't sound happy.

I look up, and I'm met with brown eyes. Those brown eyes glared down at me.

I almost had forgotten what had happened, but reality struck me when he said "would you please fucken move"

I pushed myself up from the ground, dusting off my skirt.

"Oh, I'm sorry you were the one who crashed into me" I said. Being sure to sound rude.

He was rude so what was the point in apologizing to this douche.

He scoffed, his perfect brows furrowing as he stared me down.

"Just stay out of my way" he walks past me, making sure to hit his shoulder roughly on mines.

I whipped my body around, cursing him out. "You moron!" I yell out.

My words echoed in the empty halls. He simply continued walking, completely ignoring me.

I let out a frustrated groan. I sigh out; attempting to calm my anger.

God, he was just such a fucken dick

I sling the strap of my backpack higher on my shoulder.

I continue to walk down the hall in search for my classroom.

This day already started off shitty

#tokio hotel #tom kaulitz #kaulitz twins

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antiphotogenicfilmographer · 11 months

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just imagine! tom was out here trying to surprise greg about the deal by telling him he's gonna be financially castrated, so he'll lower his expectations of what's to come (but definitely scheming for greg to follow him in his ascent), but then greg snitches to the quad about the change, which tom finds out and gets rightfully pissed about, and then here comes greg crawling back to tom after the gojo deal goes through.

greg was so money hungry that he didn't even think for a second that tom might be messing with him. greg essentially set his christmas presents on fire bc its was in some ugly trick wrapping paper, but tom still buys him a new christmas present. tom welcomes greg back, he secures a spot for him, even without knowing if greg would come back in the first place, and commits the single most romantic gesture of the show and reclaims greg as his. tom sacrafices one of his claims on logan's wealth and sticks it on greg, possibly the only real thing he would ever want from the roy estate.

no matter what, tom will always welcome greg back. it's such a toxic relationship but i'd be lying if i said i didn't love it.

#tomgreg #succession

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gregoftom · 8 months

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I don't think enough people are talking about a very distinct parallel between Tom's s4 relationship with Shiv v. his relationship with Greg. One of Tom's major problems with Shiv is that he sees her as selfish, "incapable of thinking of anybody other than (her)self", and how she finds it difficult to think about him. But then we see Greg throughout the entire season doing nothing but thinking about Tom: when Tom calls him to tell him of Logan's death, Greg (Logan's actual great-nephew) hears Tom is upset and asks him if he's ok. He also checks on his well-being before boarding the plane to Norway, and notices Tom's burning the candles on both ends, and worries about whether he's getting enough sleep. And also how he dutifully "sings Tom's song" to every important person Greg encounters (I fully believe what you say about Tom being included in Greg's desired "quad"). Greg even thought to get Tom sushi (albeit "bodega sushi", lol). There's also a deleted scene where Greg sulks over Tom rejecting his efforts to set him up on a date with hotties, saying "I did this for you, Tom"; that scene suggests that Greg wasn't really into the whole Disgusting Brothers thing, that he was only going along with it for Tom's benefit. Long story short: Greg in s4 has pretty much taken over Shiv's role in Tom's life, it just took Tom till the end to really start to realize/appreciate it.

YES no exactly i agree 100% that’s the thing like. greg acts as tom’s spouse throughout s4, the kind who takes care of their partner, who looks after their needs in multiple ways. he took on the promise they made at 3.09 seriously. it really was like a marriage vow to him hehe. and as has been said, they wish they were getting married 🥰

#tomgreg

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killer-orca-cosplay · 6 days

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To: STCOM Sealth Puget From: COMGEN Melissa Hazen Sealth, trothkin, the Skobel engineers have finally finished the fitting out of your machine. The upgrades are... substantial. Look them over. And then, if you would, join me and some others for a night out, quiaff? I wish to get to know you better. We will be fighting alongside each other, after all.

BattleMech Technical Readout Name/Model: Orca 'Sealth' OC-1Xb Designer: Frogblast Source(s): Custom Mordel.Net Units Technology: Inner Sphere (Mixed) Technology Rating: F Tonnage: 200 Role: Sniper Configuration: Superheavy Biped BattleMech Era/Year: Dark Age / 3150 Rules (Current): Experimental (Extinct) Rules (Era): Experimental Rules (Year): Experimental (Extinct) Total Cost: 107,450,500 C-Bills Battle Value: 4,435 Chassis: Skobel Endo-Composite Endo-Composite Power Plant: Skobel SH-4K 400 XL Walking Speed: 21.6 kph Maximum Speed: 32.4 kph Jump Jets: None Jump Capacity: None Armor: Skobel SH-FF Plate Ferro-Fibrous with CASE II Armament: 2 ExoStar Balefire (Clantech) ER PPCs (C) 1 Rheinmetall PzH 3050 Long Tom Artillery Cannon (C) 1 Baal Defense Hellstorm 40CX LRM 20 w/ Artemis V FCS (C) 1 ExoStar Pinnacle (Clantech) ER Large Laser (C) 1 Krupp Sturmfeuer Light Gauss Rifle 1 Baal Defense Quad-Aught 6400 SRM 6 w/ Artemis V FCS (C) 1 Baal Defense Inferno Shield 2000CX Laser Anti-Missile System (C) 1 Baal Defense Silverfang 120X Small X-Pulse Laser Manufacturer: Skobel MechWorks Primary Factory: Yakima Proving Grounds, Terra Communications: GarbleTalker X with Nova CEWS Targeting & Tracking: Nokia 33100 with Advanced Targeting Computer ================================================================================================ Equipment Mass Internal Structure: Endo-Composite (C) 30.00 Engine: 400 XL (C) 26.50 Walking MP: 2 Running MP: 3 Jumping MP: 0 Heat Sinks (Double): 20 40 10.00 Gyro: Superheavy 8.00 Cockpit: Superheavy 4.00 Armor Factor: 600 31.50 Type: Ferro-Fibrous (C) Internal Armor Structure Value Head: 4 12 Center Torso: 60 96 Center Torso (rear): 24 R/L Torso: 42 68 R/L Torso (rear): 16 R/L Arm: 33 66 R/L Leg: 42 84 ================================================================================================ Weapons and Ammo Location Critical Tonnage Nova CEWS (C) H 1 1.50 SRM 6 w/ Artemis V FCS (C) CT 1 1.50 Small X-Pulse Laser CT 1 1.00 Targeting Computer (C) CT 6 6.00 CASE II (C) RT 1 0.50 Communications Equipment (4 tons) (C) RT 2 4.00 ER PPC w/ Capacitor (C) RT 2 7.00 Laser Anti-Missile System (C) RT 1 1.00 Long Tom Artillery Cannon (Ammo 30) (C) RT 3 6.00 CASE II (C) LT 1 0.50 ER PPC w/ Capacitor (C) LT 2 7.00 LRM 20 w/ Artemis V FCS (C) LT 2 5.00 LRM 20 (Ammo 18) (C) LT 2 3.00 Light Gauss Rifle (Ammo 32) LT 1 2.00 SRM 6 (Ammo 30) Artemis V LT 1 2.00 Long Tom Artillery Cannon (C) RA 8 20.00 CASE II (C) LA 1 0.50 ER Large Laser w/ Insulator (C) LA 2 4.50 Light Gauss Rifle LA 3 12.00 Note: Equipped with RISC Heat Sink Override Kit ================================================================================================ Alpha Strike Statistics Point Value (PV): 94 TP: BM, SZ: 4, TMM: 0, MV: 4" Damage: (S) 4 / (M) 4 / (L) 3, OV: 4 Armor (A): 20, Structure (S): 10 Specials: AMS, ARTLTC-1, CASEII, ECM, IF1, LG, MHQ5, NOVA, OVL, PRB, RCN The OC-1Xb Orca 'Sealth' is subject to the following Design Quirks: Accurate Weapon (Long Tom Cannon) Combat Computer Distracting Fast Reload (Long Tom Cannon) Improved Cooling Jacket (ER Large Laser) Improved Communications Improved Sensors Improved Targeting (Long) Multi-Trac

A Long Tom attached to a Battlemech? Most intriguing...I do believe Tolkitai will get much use out of that.

It also pleases me to see the all important small laser for close-in support. If there is one thing I have learned, it is never to underestimate what one single laser in the right place can do. This steed will serve us well. My thanks. ...in truth I would not say no to a meal. I have been having the oddest craving for salmon sushi recently.

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anthonybialy · 3 days

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Ivy League in League with Hamas

I hope Columbia students are as dedicated to their studies as they are to LARPing. I doubt it. They seem to not know much of anything. Portraying aggressive foes of Israel confirms such. Refusing to move from ground that was never theirs shows commitment to the cause.

College brats crave pretending they’re something other than political science majors doomed to beg Joe Biden for debt evasion. A university that wanted to continue to pretend to be taken seriously would deny outdoor squatters the right to Sha Na Na presale access codes.

Instead, expect a flurry of senior theses based on how leaving plants unwatered in an Amsterdam Avenue apartment for three or four days allowed the non-Israel parts of the Middle East to finally prosper. This is the school where a showy phony lied about being raped so she’d have an excuse to drag a mattress around campus as a regrettable standard of performance art, which makes today’s showy truancy unsurprising.

Acting violent while pretending to not be reflects a wholesale refusal to interact with reality. True cosplayers act just like their beloved terror cause. Man, they are focused on playing along. Their habit of harassing Jews shows solidarity. Claiming they were the victims all along is what the keffiyeh represents.

Tom Wolfe’s ghost has never been busier. Earth’s most entitled brats throwing a tantrum while camping on Manhattan’s Ivy League grounds to show fondness for an invading terror squad means he’s still releasing novels a page at a time as news reports.

A Peoples’ University doesn’t sound quite elite. Those seizing land are presumably honoring prominent Democratic activist Jim Jones’s naming conventions without realizing it. Like every other contemptible notion that preening quad radicals believe, the inadvertent hilarity stems from their patent ignorance. While it’d be nice if they were informed, the rest of us can use the laughs. What are they supposed to do during college: learn?

The sort of students you’re glad you never drank with get to pretend they’re doing something righteous with a lawn campout. Guilt over unbelievable privilege leads to fretting about the less fortunate. Enrolling in a moral vacuum prompts sympathy for terror instead of victims.

Columbia students think The Diary of Anne Frank has a happy ending. Confused reading list participants know what they would’ve done during World War II, namely defend Normandy from invaders. The claim that 2020’s city torchers were the equivalent of Allied soldiers got sillier just when you thought that was impossible.

These advanced times sure are unenlightened, at least for those at the costliest and therefore best colleges. Society regresses without learning from primitive times. Let’s say there’s precedent involving campus radicals defending terror movements. Collegiate nitwits once again romanticize ghastly assaults against decent people in respectable societies. A useful degree would feature learning how many of them are not.

Praising the terror side is how the smuggest brats from your high school class battle for the underprivileged. Hamas engages in rather intense bullying they’d surely condemn if it involved misgendering. Total non-anti-Semites just happen to be ganging up on the one Jewish state. Tormenters get every last detail wrong, including which side features people who want to be left alone.

Students fume about a sliver of land that at its narrowest is smaller than the island upon which Columbia lies is long. It’s not just the lack of real estate that makes Israel an underdog.

The one Middle East country that would tolerate idling undergraduate uselessness can afford to on account of that whole natural rights bit. Citizens could claim it was awful without consequence. Go ahead and hold a pride parade in Tel Aviv. I’d envision a permit tie-up for anyone trying the same in Gaza. Rather confused observers add exercising the right to self-defense to their appalling list of reasons they loathe Jews.

Idle grifters with student IDs get to pretend they’re standing up for a noble cause. The side against Israel is way less nicer, and underdevelopment must be the fault of oppression. That sort of logic is common amongst attendees at more prestigious schools. Ignoring what happened at the music festival to people about the same age helps maintain consistency.

The Morningside Heights campus of Hamas University is a popular study abroad program. But enrollees can only harvest so much knowledge. An internship would help. They can learn from their heroes. Columbia campers should transfer to Gaza colleges. There’s a hospital on every corner, which means there must be at least that many schools. You know it’s bad when the rest of 2024 New York City seems sane by comparison.

Class is boring. Learn about the real world out on the Columbia quadrangle. It sure is fun camping out while shrieking insults at civilization. Real-world experience is supposed to be school’s goal. Professional terrorists blaming success is the default Columbia student ideology in practice. Feeling insulated on campus leads to guilty role play. Flaunt uselessness in the name of awfulness. This is the best time to dine at Katz’s, as none of the uneducated students will be there.

#Israel #Hamas #Israel-Hamas War #Middle East #antisemitism #terrorism #Columbia University

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