#to izzy: you know what you did (the gifs you share give me life)
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Izzy and the candles
(kinda about Izzy's arc)
So I’ve finally sat down and looked closely into the candle scenes and after analyzing them, I’ve came to the conclusion, that they’re about the state of Izzy’s feeling towards Ed, how he deals with them. (if you have other ideas please share)
Let’s look at the scenes, shall we? (it's Izzy's POV, not what I think about his actions)
S1e3:
- He's not interested in meeting.
- What?
- 🕯️I explicitly told him… Blackbeard desired his company.
- But does he know who I am?
- Seemed to, yeah.🕯️
- And still, he said no.
- You can "go suck eggs in hell" was his response, I believe.
- Fascinating.
Why at that moment? Well, I think he didn’t lie, or at least he didn’t think he did. So he’s not punishing himself or anything. It’s about the whole conflict in s1: Izzy desires Ed’s company, wants Ed to desire his company. Izzy thinks, he knows Ed, but it turns out, he doesn’t know him so well.
He’s burning his hand by getting too close, just like his possessiveness ultimately only hurts him and Ed in the process. His feelings are so intense it’s actually destructive.
S1e7:
“🕯️Bonnet comes along, and he's like, "Oh, Oh, Blackbeard, I really love... I love the way you dress. I love the way your hair, your beard, and all that." I tell ya, I would've ripped his fuckin' head off. And I would have had him, too, I would have had him…🕯️”
And what is he doing just after that? Making a deal with the English. Proving that his selfish desire only makes it worse for both of them: Ed leaves him, Izzy made him work for the king.
S2e5:
Now, we need context. After Ed’s visit in s2e2 Izzy realized, that his selfish actions harmed not only him, but actually Ed too. That he was actively helping Ed kill himself, that Ed expected him, to just go with the plan, because he was his boss. That he was a bad first mate, because he almost killed his captain instead of protecting him, and that his way of love was bad, because it made Ed so miserable. So he metaphorically killed his old self (by trying to actually do it), stopped Ed, freed from his orders, and saved the crew.
He kept it mostly together until the crew was saved by Stede and then, there was nothing for him to do, no use for him. He may have did that big gesture to become his new self, but that didn’t erase his regrets. He felt responsible for Ed’s state, felt it was his fault for not doing his job, for making Ed hate him, for being useless, everything mixed in one miserable mess. He expected the crew to just let him die from overdrinking, because why would they care? They’re safe now, they have Stede. When the crew made him the new leg, he decided to give himself a second chance, stops drinking and tries to find a way to be of use (see? He didn’t get over it at all)
In e5, right after Ed’s apology (“And whatever that nasty, dark stuff was that brought us here, it's in the past. Which is all I want to say, at the end of the day, is we're trying to move the culture forward.”) he starts whittling the shark. The whole episode is about moving on, but Izzy doesn’t do that. He just buries his feelings deeper.
“Well, this is a pirate ship and I'm a pirate, so, yeah. I'm good with it.” He tells himself that that’s how it is, just like Archie said: “They get away with it and we move on”. Izzy doesn’t expect any apology, doesn’t think he deserves any, but he’s still hurt, he’s still unmoored, without any clear direction in life.
- So this is where all my candles went. And you've used the good ones.
- Yep. I'm having to relearn the basics with one leg. [🕯️]
- The basics? I think my basics might be a bit more basic than your basics. Actually, it recently occurred to me that...
- That you know nothing? That you're a shitty Captain, yeah?
- I don't know about that. But Blackbeard did say he credited you with a lot of his skills.
- Yeah, well, Blackbeard says a lot of things. But what did he say about me specifically?
- Well, specifically, he said you taught him everything he knows. Made him the Captain he is today. Perhaps I could learn at the feet of one of the greats.
- Foot.
- Oh, yes, foot. Sorry.
- Ya know, maybe I could teach even you a thing or two.
“I'm having to relearn the basics with one leg.” He’s basically saying he’s starting anew. He decided to forget the past, to kill his feelings for Ed, all that hurt and sorrow and guilt, just move on.
“Don't know what you're talkin' about. A shark did this. Dangling my legs over the side of the ship. Served me right, too.” It was all his own fault, so he doesn’t need any apology. It was to be expected, so there’s no need to feel hurt or betrayed.
S2e8:
Izzy was telling himself it was his fault he got treated like that by Ed, it was just how pirate’s life worked, everything's fine, but at the same time Stede was happy, grateful and nice to him all episode, showing him, that no, it doesn’t have to work like that, it didn’t have to work like that. His relationship with Ed didn’t have to look like it looked, he could have had better relationship with Ed, if only he let him.
In e6 he’s drinking again.
they both know it’s not about the weather. it’s about Ed’s feelings, Ed feeling it was all too nice and something has to go bad eventually. And Izzy’s on his new track, trying to keep Ed in this better place, the one he so desperately tried to get him out of in s1. He now knows his relationship with Ed and Ed’s life was so miserable because of him, and he tries to fix it, to help Ed get rid of bad habits.
Izzy probably didn’t know how to respond, having mixed feelings about it since he was all about how it was his own fault and Ed apologizing actually contradicts it, forcing Izzy to acknowledge his suffering that he so strongly tried to repress.
“Turn the poison into positivity” it’s kinda like a response to s1e5 where Izzy was opposed/shocked by open culture on the Revenge and now, knowing his old ways were wrong he actually stops, asks what’s that about and tries himself. Izzy sings about looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses, and I think it’s about him wishing Ed and Stede well.
Izzy decided to focus on helping Ed and Stede in their relationship. He realized he was the reason for Ed’s unhappiness, it was him, who made him worse by trying to keep him to himself, and so his own feelings don't matter. His feelings for Ed don't matter, his love doesn't matter, and that’s why he’s all helpful, but at the same time looks tired. After Ed leaves Stede, Izzy finds him at the bar, (always with Stede when Ed isn’t around). He tells him he thinks they’re good for each other, comforts Stede, is ok with talking about their feelings for Ed. He tries to protect Stede from his auto destructive behavior post breakup (not just going along, like with Ed).
Now we’re at e8 finally:
- 🕯️Can't believe I have an audience with the great Israel Hands. That's absolutely astounding. I've always thought you were underrated. I mean, it's absurd, isn't it? Isn't it? That Blackbeard, he gets all this praise, when you are quite clearly the brains of this operation?🕯️ (playing with fire in a safe way, calm)
- Ya don't know the first thing about piracy, do ya?
- Don't I?
- It's not about glory. It's not about gettin' what you want. It's about belonging to something when the world has told you you're nothin'. It's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead. It's about letting go of ego for something larger. The crew.
“when you are quite clearly the brains of this operation” Izzy feels responsible for all the bad things that happened to Ed, for his unhappiness. He wanted to follow and serve Blackbeard, not to replace him. He and Ed created Blackbeard, why would he want to have something that was already his? When Blackbeard got all the praise, Izzy was proud. The only praises he needed was those from Ed. (I don't mean he didn't care about being respected by others but appreciated)
“It's not about glory. It's not about gettin' what you want. It's about belonging to something when the world has told you you're nothin'. It's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead. It's about letting go of ego for something larger. The crew.”
It’s about Izzy abandoning his selfish desire to be with Ed, to have Ed’s full attention, to have his love, and focusing about caring for others, for his family (Ed and the crew), about their happiness.
And you know what? I think it could’ve been Izzy’s idea to go with Ricky, to be on the front line. That’s very like him and I don’t see other reason for it. The crew is protective of Izzy, it wouldn’t be their idea.
- Ed, I'm sorry. I've been terrible to you.
- No, I'm sorry.
- No.
- What are you apologizing for? I should be the one who's apologizing.
- I fed your darkness… Blackbeard. For years, I egged him on, even though I knew you'd outgrown him, but the truth is… I needed him. Blackbeard... it was us. You, me.
I’m happy he said that, I’m happy they finally talked. I’m happy Izzy finally said out laud how unwell he is inside.
bonus:
(⚠️ here comes finale criticism, you’ve been warned ⚠️)
But him dying there was as if Ed died in e5! Oh, he realized his mistakes and started to fix them, but still is very messed up inside. That’s Ed in e5-6. And somehow he got to live after apologizing to Fang, hmm? Yeah, it was very in character for Izzy to get himself killed for Ed, to apologize for his great crimes of *checks hand* misunderstanding, being confused and selfish and being in love with Ed. Understandable. Ed can realize he’s actually worthy of love and forgiveness, but Izzy isn’t? Izzy would agree, but that’s not the point. He wasn’t on the arc towards healing. He was on the arc of realizing how bad of an influence he was and then dying . He was marinating that thought since s2e2. How fun.
Like, yeah, he realized he was selfish and fixed his wrongdoings. But he also thought he was worthless and, ekhem, defiled his captain with his love, wait where did I hear that...
#our flag means death#Ofmd#Ofmd s2#izzy hands#ofmd meta#edizzy#My bitching at the end is optional lol
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Our Flag Means Jesus Christ Superstar
At C2E2 on Sunday, Con O'Neill shared that he and Taika both thought of Jesus Christ Superstar and the famously-charged relationship between Jesus and Judas in that show when thinking about the relationship between Ed and Izzy in Our Flag Means Death. (He also said they scream-sang to the soundtrack together on their first day in the makeup trailer and I would give my non-existent left nut for any footage of this event.)
Here's the video:
This set my brain on fire because I am an extreme and obnoxious lifelong Jesus Christ Superstar fan and one of the first goofy things I did in OFMD fandom was casting a JCS AU. As my brain burned, I started thinking about all of the parallels between JCS and OFMD.
So, presenting Way Too Much Thought about Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice's Rock Opera about the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ and David Jenkins' There's No Heterosexual Explanation for this Story of Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet! I am not at all religious, so if you're looking for any takes on whether or not Edward Teach is actually God, you've come to the wrong place. I am merely a woman with an English degree and too much time on my hands.
Since we all know the plot points of OFMD, I am going to do this by JCS song. If you're unfamiliar with JCS, the wiki is below. Basically, though, it is a rock opera about the days leading up to Jesus' crucifixion, released as a concept album in 1970. Eventually it was staged, there are two movies (ignore the awful 2000 version), John Legend was Jesus on the live TV version, it tours all over, and it is Incredibly Campy. The relationship between Jesus and Judas is famously charged, and different productions choose to take that to different levels.
I'm going to use the album songs (with one notable exception) and visuals from the 1973 movie.
At its core, I see JCS as being about the conflict between Judas and Mary Magdalene and their versions of an ideal Jesus. Sound familiar? It's telling Jesus' story, but it does so via the interpersonal and internal conflicts these two people had during the last days of his life.
Ed is Jesus - For years, he has been leading a movement. He has reached a moment where the masses are seeing him as a mythical figure, King of the Jews/Blackbeard, but he's not sure that is what he wants.
Izzy is Judas - Our guy's right hand man. He has been there since the start and sees himself as a protector as well as someone with an outside perspective on the hero. Izzy wants Ed to continue being the myth of Blackbeard because it is the way they will survive. Judas, conversely, wants Jesus to take it down a notch because he is becoming too much of a myth and that will get him killed.
Stede is Mary Magdalene - (I'm not a prostitute, mate!) The new person to the group, offering our hero a way forward that does not have the weight of the world on his shoulders. Stede offers Ed retirement and a soft life. Mary offers Jesus a soft and comfortable life as well, but it is one where he does take up the mantle as the Son of God.
(A Note before we get going. Both Our Flag Means Death and the 1973 Jesus Christ Superstar film star BIPOC actors: Taika Waititi as Blackbeard, Ben Vereen as Judas, and Yvonne Elliman as Mary Magdalene. This is fundamentally part of the stories the productions tell. People far more qualified than I have written about Edward Teach as a Maori man, the diverse OFMD cast, and about the diverse casting traditions in Jesus Christ Superstar. There is a deep dive to be written about the race of these six principle actors (and their supporting casts) and how that impacts these stories when JCS is read as an influence on OFMD. Without the qualifications to take that on, I am sticking essentially to song lyrics and script. I realize this is a huge gap in this analysis, and I would love for someone to help me fill it!)
We're skipping the Overture because it's just an overture and it is very good but still. You can listen to it if you want.
Heaven on their Minds
The show opens with Judas. Jesus, the apostles, Mary, and co. are together outside of Jerusalem, and Judas is concerned about the level of fame they are reaching and the danger Jesus is in from authorities.
Listen Jesus I don't like what I see.
All I ask is that you listen to me.
And remember, I've been your right hand man all along.
You have set them all on fire.
They think they've found the new Messiah.
And they'll hurt you when they find they're wrong.
Of course, the big difference here is that Judas wants Jesus to tone it down so he doesn't get hurt, whereas Izzy is trying to keep Ed as Blackbeard going so he doesn't get hurt.
What's the Buzz/Strange Thing Mystifying
The Apostles want to know what's happening. When are we leaving, who are we fighting, etc. While they bother Jesus, Mary is trying to comfort him.
Mary that is good,
While you prattle through your supper,
Where and when and who and how.
She alone has tried to give me
What I need right here and now.
Here we introduce the foil to Izzy/Judas. Almost immediately, with his finery and his lunacy, Stede offers Ed a different way of life.
You're a fucking lunatic and I like it.
We also get the first conflict between Mary and Judas, when Judas attacks Jesus for allowing Mary to comfort him.
It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying
That a man like you can waste his time on women of her kind.
Yes, I can understand that she amuses,
But to let her kiss you, stroke your hair, that's hardly in your line.
It's not that I object to her profession,
But she doesn't fit in well with what you teach and say.
It doesn't help us if you're inconsistent.
They only need a small excuse to put us all away.
Izzy, of course, immediately wants Stede out of the picture. He wants Stede out of the picture so badly he tries to sabotage them from the start. He doesn't respect Stede as a man or as a pirate, and is worried about what associating with Stede will do to Blackbeard's reputation.
Jesus stands up for Mary's presence, just like Ed decides they're staying on Stede's ship for now.
Who are you to criticize her?
Who are you to despise her?
Leave her, leave her, let her be now.
Leave her, leave her, she's with me now.
If your slate is clean, then you can throw stones.
If your slate is not, then leave her alone.
"Sorry not sorry." - Jesus/Ed.
Everything's Alright
Mary's first big number! She is soothing a stressed Jesus, offering him myrrh ointment (fine things!) and the idea that he deserves to be taken care of.
Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and anoint you.
Myrrh for your hot forehead, oh.
Then you'll feel
Everything's alright, yes, everything's fine.
And it's cool, and the ointment's sweet
For the fire in your head and feet.
Close your eyes, close your eyes
And relax, think of nothing tonight.
Of course, Judas doesn't want this version of Jesus. He wants to get back to their roots, sees the use of the ointment on Jesus as a waste, and doesn't like a version of Jesus that is the pampered son of God.
Woman your fine ointment, brand new and expensive
Should have been saved for the poor.
Why has it been wasted? We could have raised maybe
Three hundred silver pieces or more.
People who are hungry, people who are starving
They matter more than your feet and hair!
We see this most/first in the clothes-swap scene, where Izzy is just so disgusted by the idea of Ed being anything other than Blackbeard that he literally leaves. Jesus stands up for Mary against Judas and says she's staying and Judas has to deal with it. Ed stands up for Stede and says they're staying on the Revenge and Izzy just has to deal with it.
The clothes swap scene is not the only sequence where Stede comforts Ed, of course. Just as Mary takes it upon herself to comfort Jesus at pretty much every opportunity, Stede becomes that comfort for Ed. The panic attack after the Fuckery is Stede reassuring Ed that the weight of being Blackbeard does not have to be on his shoulders. He can relax and sleep well, because Stede sees the real him. He's willing to forget a whole entire murder plot for Ed.
And more! We have two concrete "fine things" being used for pleasure here - myrrh ointment and marmalade. Both Judas and Izzy see waste and carelessness where Mary and Stede see the value in indulgence. And both Judas and Izzy want the fine things gone for more practical things. Judas wants to sell the ointment to give the money to the poor, what he argues is Jesus' whole original message. The marmalade, of course, is taking the place of literal gunpowder that pirates need to, you know, survive.
I will also just point out that "marmalade" and "myrrh ointment" sound... not really very similar but at least both start with M.
This Jesus Must Die
The authorities in Jerusalem want this rabble-rouser Jesus out of the picture. They're very moody and discussing what to do with him, deciding that he needs to die to send a message. We don't really see this happening about Blackbeard until the very end of the show, but we can assume based on the whole Being A Notorious Pirate Thing that the English authorities would do anything to take him down.
The important thing here is that Ed and Jesus are both wanted men. Izzy/Judas and Stede/Mary are offering conflicting ways to stay alive. Both think they have the solution and are trying to woo their guys to their sides.
Hosanna and Simon Zealotes/Poor Jerusalem
First of all, these are bops. Just getting that out of the way. Hosanna is Jesus entering Jerusalem and Simon Zealotes/Poor Jerusalem is the masses worshipping him, basically. Our OFMD parallel is Blackbeard with his Nine Guns - The myth of the hero far outstrips the man at this point. But what is he going to do about it?
Jesus warns the worshippers that things are about to get bad. Blackbeard starts thinking maybe he'll steal Stede's identity and sail off into the sunset.
If you knew all that I knew, my poor Jerusalem,
You'd see the truth, but you close your eyes.
But you close your eyes.
While you live, your troubles are many, poor Jerusalem.
To conquer death, you only have to die.
You only have to die.
Hmmm what's that, Jesus? We have to die to get out of this? You don't say.
Pilate's Dream
Pilate has a premonition that he's about to go down in history as The Bad Guy who Killed Jesus. (Yup.)
Then I saw thousands of millions
Crying for this man.
And then I heard them mentioning my name,
And leaving me the blame.
Badminton declares he's going to get vengeance on some Cat Bandits.
On my honor, I’ll ride these “Cat Bandits” straight into hell.
There are people hunting down our hero, in other words.
The Temple
In this scene, Jesus finds that a temple is being used for basically everything other than worship and he flips his lid and clears all of the sinners out. It is Very Dramatic.
What happens next is what parallels to OFMD, though. After the heathens are cleared from the temple, Jesus is surrounded by people with leprosy begging him to heal them. It's eerie and A Lot.
See my eyes, I can hardly see.
See me stand, I can hardly walk.
I believe you can make me whole.
See my tongue, I can hardly talk.
See my skin, I'm a mass of blood.
See my legs, I can hardly stand.
I believe you can make me well.
See my purse, I'm a poor, poor man.
Will you touch, will you mend me Christ?
Won't you touch, will you heal me Christ?
Will you kiss, you can cure me Christ?
Won't you kiss, won't you pay me Christ?
Jesus tries his best to heal them, but ultimately panics.
There's too many of you...Don't push me.
There's too little of me...Don't crowd me.
Heal yourselves!
What does this have to do with Ed? I hope you're asking that since you've read this far. The beggars are... Calico Jack! And not because he is a walking embodiment of disease. This sequence represents Jesus making his choice - is he going to be Judas' version of Jesus or Mary's? Is he taking on the mantle of Son of God or is he going relax it a bit? Calico Jack is a similar turning point for Ed. Is he going to be the old Blackbeard, or is he going to stick with Stede? Jesus hasn't really made his choice here - he tries to fix the temple and heal everyone but he is still overwhelmed. Of course, we know what Ed chose.
Everything's Alright (Reprise)
A bop. A reminder that Stede and Mary are going to take care of their men. Thanks, Mary. Thanks, Stede.
I Don't Know How to Love Him
Just imagine Stede singing this about Ed. That's it, that's the comparison.
I don't know how to love him.
What to do, how to move him.
I've been changed, yes really changed.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,
I seem like someone else.
I don't know how to take this.
I don't see why he moves me.
...
Yet, if he said he loved me,
I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.
I'd turn my head. I'd back away.
I wouldn't want to know.
He scares me so.
I want him so.
I love him so.
To elaborate a little, what's key here is Mary realizing that she is also being changed by loving Jesus and that they are on a path together now. She realizes that she is in awe of the myth of Jesus but in love with the man.
Damned for All Time/Blood Money
Judas turning in Jesus to the authorities. He's panicking. The only way to save Jesus is to give him up and hope that he is able to survive. He has even deluded himself into thinking that Jesus will actually be glad that he's made this decision.
Now if I help you, it matters that you see
These sordid kinda things are coming hard to me.
It's taken me some time to work out what to do.
I weighed the whole thing out before I came to you.
I have no thought at all about my own reward.
I really didn't come here of my own accord.
Just don't say I'm ... damned for all time.
I came because I had to; I'm the one who saw.
Jesus can't control it like he did before.
And furthermore I know that Jesus thinks so too.
Jesus wouldn't mind that I was here with you.
I have no thought at all about my own reward.
I really didn't come here of my own accord.
Just don't say I'm ... damned for all time.
Annas, you're a friend, a worldly man and wise.
Caiaphas, my friend, I know you sympathize.
Why are we the prophets? Why are we the ones
Who see the sad solution - know what must be done?
I have no thought at all about my own reward.
I really didn't come here of my own accord.
Just don't say I'm damned for all time.
Sound like someone we know?
The Last Supper
Oh here we go, things are heating up. Of course, The Last Supper is The Last Supper. The apostles have a lovely song about how they want to write everything down so people will talk about them when they die. That's a normal way to talk about your friend, right?
Fanfiction and the start of the Eucharist aside, The Last Supper is when Jesus announces to the team that he knows what they've been up to. He says that soon Peter will deny him and that he knows Judas has betrayed him.
Of course, when Izzy goes off to sell Ed out, Ed doesn't know it's happening because he is not a prophet. But I made this anyway because it works.
JESUS: Peter will deny me in just a few hours.
Three times will deny me,
And that's not all I see.
One of you here dining,
One of my twelve chosen
Will leave to betray me.
JUDAS: Cut out the dramatics!
You know very well who.
JUDAS: To think I admired you.
Well now I despise you.
This song also reinforces Judas' conviction that Jesus wants him to do this. Judas believes he is acting in both of their best interests and that turning Jesus in will stop the train and everything will be fine. Izzy truly believes that he is only selling out Stede. Stede has done something to his boss' brain, and once he's out of the picture Ed will go back to normal.
Gethsemane (I Only Want to Say)
Jesus leaves his sleeping apostles and goes off to, basically, freak out and yell at his dad who is God.
I only want to say,
If there is a way,
Take this cup away from me
For I don't want to taste its poison.
Feel it burn me,
I have changed.
I'm not as sure, as when we started.
After walking around yelling at Dad a bit, he gets it out of his system and gets back on track. This is where he chooses to be a martyr.
By accepting his martyrdom, he might be accepting Judas' betrayal on the surface, but he's actually accepting Mary's version of himself. The authorities aren't going to slap him on the wrist and let him go. They are going to kill him, as we all know. That is what Mary was actually pulling for, even though she didn't realize it at the time.
This is akin to when Ed calls for the Act of Grace. In that moment, Izzy's plan falls apart - calling the British isn't going to save Blackbeard, it's going to destroy him. And this is what Stede was actually pulling for, even though he didn't realize it at the time.
Alright, I'll die!
Just watch me die!
See how I die!
...
God, thy will is hard,
But you hold every card.
I will drink your cup of poison.
Nail me to your cross and break me,
Bleed me, beat me,
Kill me.
Take me, now!
Before I change my mind.
The Arrest
Judas, must you betray me with a kiss?
Judas famously kisses Jesus to identify him to the Roman soldiers. If you are Going For It in your production of Jesus Christ Superstar, this can be very lustful. This is a man who loves his hero giving him up to the people that have been chasing him, probably realizing as he does it that things are about to go Very Wrong but having no way to stop it.
Peter's Denial
People who saw Jesus being led away see Peter and Mary, and accuse Peter of being an accomplice of that rabble-rouser Jesus. He denies knowing him three times.
Welp.
Pilate and Christ
Oh, Pilate, if only you remembered your little premonition. This is basically a song just to explain why Pilate doesn't have jurisdiction over Jesus and is sending him to...
King Herod's Song (Try it and See)
This song is, in a word, chaotic. King Herod tells Jesus he'll spare his life if Jesus admits to calling himself King of the Jews. It's very campy. It's amazing.
Herod demands Jesus perform miracles, Jesus won't do it, and Herod sends him back to Pilate to deal with because he decides Jesus is a fraud. This one really doesn't match up in OFMD. Oh well!
Could We Start Again Please
Meanwhile, in the movie and on the stage, Peter and Mary lead a song freaking out about what's happening. They've realized this whole thing went too far and Jesus is about to be killed, and are asking to start over.
This is Stede realizing slowly at the Privateering Academy that he has ruined Blackbeard. This comes out of order in the shows, but I'm going by JCS order. So I'm also doing the gifs in JCS order instead of OFMD order.
I've been living to see you
Dying to see you but it shouldn't be like this
This was unexpected, what do I do now?
Oh, could we start again, please?
Could we start again, please?
I've been very hopeful so far
Now for the first time I think we're going wrong
Hurry up and tell me, this is all a dream
Or could we start again, please?
Could we start again, please?
I think you've made your point now
You've even gone a bit too far to get your message home
Before it gets too frightening, we ought to call a halt
So could we start again please?
Could we start again please?
Judas' Death
Of course, Izzy doesn't die, and Judas does. Dramatically, after first running back to the authorities and trying to undo what he did.
I don't believe he knows I acted for our good
I'd save him all this suffering if I could!
Don't believe ... our good ... save him ... if I could
Izzy may not die, but he certainly has a moment where he realizes Ed is giving everything up and his plan has failed. Izzy is forced to watch Ed sign away ten human years to the British, and it is because of what Izzy did.
Christ! I know you can't hear me
But I only did what you wanted me to
Christ! I'd sell out the nation
For I have been saddled with the murder of you
Even more tragically, Judas reprises Mary's "I Don't Know How to Love Him." Imagine Izzy singing this in a deleted scene where he watches Ed and Stede be rowed away from the Revenge.
I don't know how to love him
I don't know why he moves me
He's a man - he's just a man
He's not a king - he's just the same
As anyone I know
He scares me so
When he's cold and dead, will he let me be?
Does he love me too? Does he care for me?
Ow. Sorry Iz.
Trial Before Pilate
It's a trial. Before Pilate. Some other guys go on trial, maybe you've heard of them.
Jesus stoically accepts his punishments, first the 39 lashes and then the crucifixion. Ed is also stoic when he thinks he's the only one in trouble, and of course after Stede is in danger he's not so stoic. Mary isn't crucified, so that doesn't really line up, but it's still two trials. Not much else to say here, really.
Superstar
The Big Number!
This is our climax, Judas in heaven appearing to Jesus and asking him, was it worth it? Shouldn't you have listened to me and ditched that Mary lady? (And why did you decide to come down to earth when you did instead of in 1971 when we have mass media? And also, is Buddha all he's cracked up to be? (It was the 70s, what do you want.))
Episode 10, of course, has the confrontation between Izzy and Ed. Is it worth it, being Stede's version of you? Can you survive like this? Where is the real Blackbeard?
And, who is Blackbeard, anyway?
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ,
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ Superstar,
Do you think you're what they say you are?
The Crucifixion
Also known as:
Obviously, Ed doesn't die, and Jesus, you know, famously does.
But Ed does bury the soft part of himself, Stede's part, in an effort to continue on as Blackbeard.
And, let's not forget, Jesus does also famously un-die.
Let's hope that bodes well for Ed in Season 2.
Final Thoughts
As I got to the end, I started thinking about the "winners" and "losers" in the Judas/Mary and Izzy/Stede conflicts, such as anyone can really be declared a winner when the end result is the willing self-destruction of the person they love.
Jesus is silent before Pilate and Herod, knowing that God's plan is playing out as was intended. Could he have changed it, had he listened to Judas? Could he have prevented Judas' fate had he filled his closest confidante in? But if he had done that, would Judas still have played the role he had to play? (I'm not a religious scholar so I don't have the slightest idea. I'm just a woman with an English degree and too much time to think about OFMD and Jesus Christ Superstar.) In turning away from Judas' warnings and accepting Mary's version of himself - the one that is allowed comfort and rest and to be "just a man" albeit briefly - Jesus accepts that he'll die. Then, after everything and not portrayed in this show, he comes back to life as Mary's version. Judas goes down in history as, well, Judas. (Not even going into what's happened to Mary's reputation because do I look like Dan Brown to you? She doesn't win, either, is all I'm saying.)
Then we have Ed, who quite literally sheds Izzy's version. He signs his pirate life away for ten human years in order to be allowed comfort, rest, and to be "Just Ed." Shaves his beard, kisses his man, makes a plan to run away. That's the "death" he accepted. It's even the "death" he tries to continue when he returns to the Revenge, only to be shaken back to "life" as Blackbeard by Izzy. Stede won briefly, but then Izzy gets a second shot. And we end with Ed reembodying the myth. I don't subscribe to the framing that Ed, Blackbeard, and The Kraken are different people - they're all facets of Edward Teach. Will his ultimate "resurrection" be an acceptance that the real Edward is some mix of all of these versions? With neither Stede nor Izzy the "winner" of that battle?
That's it!! "It."
If you read this far:
Thank you I love you
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did
Find me on twitter @ michellethestan
Let me know your thoughts about how this 1970s rock opera about Jesus is actually about gay pirates
If you have footage of Con and Taika singing Jesus Christ Superstar in a makeup trailer you have to give it to me as payment for this
#ofmd#ofmd meta#ofmd and jesus christ superstar#our flag means death#jesus christ superstar#con oneill done something to my brain#if anyone has footage of con and taika singing jesus christ superstar get at me#seriously#ofmd meets jcs#extremely long post#blackbeard#stede bonnet#ed teach#gentlebeard#izzy hands#con oneill#c2e2#taika waititi
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I have not come up with a face claim for Daddy Dom because I don't know enough actors. (For some reason Idris Elba seems like a good option? Is that totally off the mark?) Anyway, I Am Once Again sharing a potential Izzy love interest idea. What if, back in the day, Izzy was a weak, nervous, little dude and he had a big loving friend who looked out for him. Big loving friend was thought to have died tragically long ago, and Izzy wears his ring. They meet again, and BLF wants to keep taking care of his lil Izzy, but Izzy is like, "No! I'm a tough pirate who shoves my feelings aside now!" And everyone is baffled that there's this guy who likes and worries about Izzy. When he learns about the toe this he immediately tries to murder Ed, just straight up, until he's restrained. This Ask was brought to you by me trying to finish an old fanfic while having thousands of ideas for more I can't write.
Idris Elba is an excellent option, though realistically speaking he's far too A List for even OFMD (how did they get the people they got for that show? I will never know).
I would also like to offer for your consideration: Manu Bennett. Firstly, I would like to see him in the show and he's the right genre of actor to show up in it. Secondly, he is hot. Thirdly, he has never once in his life played straight for any of his supposedly straight roles and, much like Con O'Neill, habitually stares at the lips of his male co-stars.
Furthermore, he's Māori! And he's the right age for that kind of role. And I think his voice (low and raspy) would super compliment Izzy's.
Look, I'd just really like to see him show up in OFMD (and realistically he actually might). Considering you're not David Jenkins afaik, so it's unlikely your gorgeous doctor OC will show up, I would love to see him rock up as Charles Vane 👀
As for the rest: I would love to see someone protective of Izzy, okay, I would. I really want someone to go, "Holy shit, Edward did what to you?" My ideal would be Stede, but I don't know if that's an angle they'd approach from. Secondary: Lucius or Fang, but I'm guessing Fang already knows. I get that Izzy is An Asshole but the toe thing is so far out of line I just want someone to freak the fuck out about it.
Someone showing up from Izzy's past and actually giving a shit and wanting to throw hands with Blackbeard himself over it? GIMME!!!!
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Heaven
Pairing: Duff Mckagan x Reader
Concept:
Word count: 1,141
(some fluff, angst)
The tall clumsy blonde closed the door behind him, trying not to make a loud noise with his presence, but his cowboy boots thought otherwise. The thumps of the heels hitting the wood echoed through the apartment, still, you were too deep in your sleep to hear he was back. He knew you would be mad because he had left almost ten hours ago when he promised it was just a couple of drinks. It wasn’t the anger that scared him, it was the disappointment that used to peak in your beautiful eyes. Those eyes he promised to never see them turn dull.
“Shit!” he exclaimed in a whisper after accidentally pushing a chair. His body stood still, waiting to hear the creaking of the bed as you woke because of his dizziness, but there was no noise.
Regardless of how much alcohol was in his system, fear invaded his being. What if she left? The dark brown dusty boots made their way to the bedroom you shared with him, he was uncertain if he could bear the idea of you not being around anymore. And it was all his fault. Hazel eyes stared at the wooden boards, before gathering the courage to look at the bed, finding the beautiful woman who would wake them gleam every time their sight was set on her. Your soft hair spread across the pillow, pink lips slightly parted, with blue sheets that covered your delicate body. He was so lucky. Quickly taking his shoes and pants off, he jumped under the covers, softly wrapping his arms around you and pulling the weight so he could cuddle you.
You snuggled up to him, eliciting a smile from him, who left a sweet kiss on your forehead. With the tour, recordings, rehearsals, and parties, Duff easily got caught up in the wild rockstar life, sometimes forgetting the most important part of it. The one he was grateful to the universe for crossing into his path. His life changed completely when he met you; found a confidant, a best friend, a shoulder to cry on, a person who would never judge him if it wasn’t for the best, a lover, the worst joker ever, but most importantly, the love of his life.
Michael was so unfamiliar with true love from someone who wasn’t a relative, his previous relationships weren’t the worst, but the feelings between him and the ex-girlfriends were almost uncomfortable on some occasions. He was invaded by joy when little moments returned to his memory, those when he was sober. When you cooked his favorite food, the time you finally played a full song on a guitar after he spent weeks teaching you, and the time you helped him bleach his hair after you insisted he looked way hotter with his natural blonde mane. Two years of being with (Y/N) , the one his sisters adored and loved having her home for a visit, the one who baked Christmas cookies with his mother and buy him, the one who would buy him an ugly sweater to match together at dinner. This was the girl his family looked forward to his marrying, as well as he. Heaven was a place on Earth beside her. I’m not giving you up.
The next morning, your arm reached to the other side of the bed, looking for the warmth of your boyfriend’s body, once again finding the side empty and cold. It wasn’t a surprise, there were plenty of times when Duff would prefer to crash at Slash’s or Izzy’s place so you wouldn’t see how drunk he was. So, like any other day, you got out of bed, grabbed some underwear, and walked straight to the shower, trying to avoid all those thoughts that plagued you. What if he slept with someone else? What if something bad happened to him? Maybe I should call Slash just to make sure he’s alright. Although all those previous times the same questions came to your head, he always walked through the door like a drunk mess, but safe. And that’s all you needed, for him to come back home, safe and sound, to you.
A long black shirt with the Ramones logo was your choice of an outfit to leave your bedroom, lazily walking out of this one and smelling the sweet scent of food being cooked. Who’s cooking? No one stayed last night and the only one who had an extra key to the apartment was the band’s manager. You found the silhouette of your boyfriend facing the stove, and he made the gesture of moving something that was in front of him.
“G’morning.”
He quickly turned around, giving you that pearly smile you loved so much, “G’morning, beautiful” returning to his previous position.
“You didn’t come home last night” the words slipped out of your mouth.
“I did but it was pretty late, Slash was having problems with Renee.”
You didn’t respond, because you couldn’t care less about other people’s relationship problems while dealing with yours.
“I made breakfast...” putting a plate in front of you with a stash of fluffy pancakes, maple syrup dripping on the sides with chopped walnuts on the top.
“We didn’t have any walnuts” you looked at the food in front of you, it wasn’t burnt or messy. They looked almost like the ones iHop advertised.
“Steven went to the market early this morning with me, you like ‘em right?” he sat on the chair that was facing you from the other side of the table.
There was silence for a few seconds, “Duff, I’m not sure I can keep doing this. Pancakes are not going to mend months of heavy drinking and finding you passed out outside the building.”
“It won’t happen again, (y/n)”
“You keep telling me that, but it’s always the same story!” the silverware made a loud noise when you dropped them on the table, anguished.
“I know baby, and I’m so sorry.” He quickly kneeled beside you, intertwining his fingers with yours. There was despair in his eyes, something you haven’t seen before, and that awakened hope within you.
“You need to go to rehab,” Releasing one of your hands, you caressed his face, feeling his soft skin mixed with some acne scars from his teenage years, “tour is over, you need to get better, sweetheart.”
“Yes, I will, but I can do it myself” he nodded, moving his sight to face your palm and give it a soft kiss. “I promise” saying those magic words, those you hoped meant what they were. The bassist stood up, leaning towards you, and kissed your lips.
A weak smile appeared on your face, really wanting to believe him. You were giving him another chance to have your whole heart in his hands. Deep inside knowing he was falling straight to the void of alcoholism if he wasn’t already in it, and that you would keep helping him, even if it meant getting swept away too..
#I was so nervous to post this but I always wanted to right a fic or imagine#If you have any feedback I would love to know thx babies#please be gentle this is my first try#duff mckagan#duff mckagan x reader#duff mckagan imagine#guns n roses#bassist#duff mckagan fanfic#guns n roses imagine#fanfic#duff gnr#gnr#gnr imagine#rock
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Gone
Pairing: Alex Karev x reader
Warnings: ANGST! Mentions of abandonment, spoilers for season 16 episode 16
Your heart pounded against your chest as you opened the crisply folded letter with shaking fingers.
You could still remember the last time you spoke to him, the last words you shared. You were so scared he was hurt or dead or something in the past week. The letter was a relief but the idea of getting that instead of his typical lengths of communication like a text or phone call was unnerving.
“Dr y/l/n?” You heard Owen calling to you but your ears were ringing too strongly to focus on his words.
You were on his service for the day but this was immediately trumping any form of work you were supposed to be getting to.
“Y/n,
I’m not good with words. I never have been, as I know you know. So I’m just going to start out with it. I’m not beating around the bush on this one. I am in Kansas with Izzie. I know it may come as a shock or betrayal or something like that but it’s the truth. When I was reaching out to people for Mer’s hearing, I called her. A little girl answered and I had no idea why. It didn’t register at first. But then she gave Izzie the phone. Izzie was shocked to hear from me but she quickly told me about our kids. Ours. I’m a father. I never realized how much I wanted that until it was a reality. I went out here to meet them and I just can’t bring myself to leave them or to come back. The minute I looked at those big brown eyes of my little boy, I was a goner. I will always love you, more than you could possibly ever know. You’re the greatest love of my life and for that I will always thank you. I wish it didn’t have to go like this. It shouldn’t go like this. You’ve been there for me since the Dr Evil Spawn days and I’m a shit guy for not being able to say the same. I’ve left my share of the hospital and my seat on the board in your name. I know that can’t make up for this but it’s the best I’ve got. I love you. But I’m still in love with Izzie. I hope someday you’ll forgive me. I hope someday you’ll be happier than I ever could’ve possibly made you.
Alex.”
You drop the letter on the table, your eyes glistening with unshed tears, your hand covering your open mouth as a small sob escapes.
You felt more naive than ever, thinking he was just visiting his mom. Thinking he was coming back for you, coming back TO you. Your mind swirled with random things you might’ve missed, that he might’ve done or said that could tip you off.
“Y/l/n!” Hunt repeated louder, bringing you back to your senses.
“What?!” You snap, turning your tearful gaze to him.
“Are you ready to prep for our surgery or not goddamnit?” He demands. You jump out of your chair, no longer feeling like you can stay sitting down.
“No I’m not.” You mutter, running your hands through your hair.
“Did you just say you’re unprepared for a surgery we’ve had on the board since yesterday y/l/n?!” He asks, bewildered by your response.
“Yes, yes I did! And before you say anything more on the subject, it isn’t because I didn’t study long and hard or because I got drunk last night and am hungover because I’m not! It’s because I just found out my boyfriend, the absolute love of my fucking life is gone! He left me for his ex and her secret kids! I am officially alone and I can’t bear it, I can’t even breathe! The one person who matters to me is gone, without so much as a proper goodbye! So ask someone else to scrub in just this one time, for the patients sake and my own Hunt.” You cry out, your eyes stinging with tears.
He reaches over to comfort you, unsure what else to do but you hold out your hands to stop him.
“Focus on the patient Hunt. She needs you more than I do.” You instruct, blinking away the tears to try and lower his concern.
He takes a moment but finally he leaves, making sure the door shuts behind him for you.
As you hear the hinges settle, you fall the the floor in an emotional fit. Your hands rest on your head, running through your hair. The room is silent, all except for your loud sobbing.
You hiccup, trying to catch your breath, trying to find the will to get up and get back to anything.
Soon, the door opens and you gasp for air, trying to regain calmness for whoever it was.
“Save the acting job y/l/n, I just read a letter from Alex Karev handing in his resignation and came right down here. Get over here.” Bailey orders, holding her arms wide open.
You scramble to your feet, not wasting any time in getting into her hug. She holds you, rubbing your back soothingly as you cry into her shoulder.
“He-he said he’d never- never leave me.” You stammer between hiccups. “He- he promised me!” You sob, letting all your unsaid words fall out of your mouth for Bailey to hear.
“I know y/n, I know.” She says, patting down your hair.
You start to catch your breath a bit, pulling away from her and crossing your arms over your chest.
“I kind of made a mess of your sweater, I’m so sorry chief Bailey.” You mutter, staring down at your simple white shoes in shame.
“Oh please, it can be washed. You feel free to let it all out if you need to.” She dismisses, smiling sadly at you.
Suddenly your pager buzzed. With a sniffle, you checked it quickly and pulled your hair back, quickly blowing your nose and wiping your eyes afterwards.
“And where do you think you’re going?” Bailey asks, eyeing you.
“That was Dr Hunt, he needs me down in the pit while he’s in surgery.” You explain, sniffling a little more.
“Oh no. Nuh uh. You’ll send an intern for that. I’m calling Wilson up here and she’s going to take you home.” She orders.
“Bailey, I’m fine. Really.” You promise her but you both know you’re lying.
“No.” She says sternly. “Stay here!” She orders, walking out into the hallway.
It doesn’t take her long to spot Jo walking down the hall. She brings her in to the room and shuts the door.
“I trust you’ll be very, VERY discreet with this Wilson.” She warns, walking off to order someone else around.
“What’s happening?” Jo asks, obviously very confused.
Too tired and emotionally distraught to explain, you simply point at the letter laying on the table.
She skims it over and without a word, envelopes you in a strong hug.
“Wilson, I can’t breathe.” You sigh quietly.
“Sorry. It’s just- you two were perfect together. You were the perfect example of a healthy, happy couple. I thought- everyone thought you two were soulmates.” She rambles.
“Well everyone thought wrong, he loves someone else. Would you please drive me ho- to Avery’s? I just- I can’t be at home right now. I can hardly call that place home without him...” You plead, getting teary eyes all over again.
“Of course! Let’s go, I just have to change out of my scrubs. You probably should too.” She suggests but you shake your head.
The clothes you’d worn to work that day held memories. Alex had given you the shirt for your Christmas present a few years ago when he’d been too stupid to think of something meaningful. The shoes were ones you’d worn on your first official date. The jeans were the ones you’d worn the first day of intern year, the first day you’d met him.
There was no possible way you could put any of them on without your entire body aching and longing for his touch.
“Ok, ok. I’ll meet you in the lobby. Just one second.” She orders, leaving the room.
You stand there for a moment, hugging your arms around yourself.
When Jo returns, Avery’s with her.
“What is it y/n, I was about to head into a surgery.” He says impatiently.
You give Jo a tired warning look, to which she responds with a sympathetic, sad smile.
“Alex left. He isn’t coming back.” You sigh hoarsely.
He looks completely shocked, blinking at you for a second.
“Are- are you ok? What do you need?” He asks, rushing to your side.
“I’m fine just- is it ok if I stay at yours?” You ask, biting down on your thumbnail absentmindedly.
“Of course! Stay as long as you need, you have a key right?” He says, looking even more concerned than before. You simply nod.
“I’m gonna give y/n a ride over there then but could you go down to the lobby with him/her/them and just stay there while I change? No one should have to be alone if something like this happens.” Jo explains.
You numbly grab your pager off the table along with the letter and follow Avery down to the lockers where you quickly grab your things, barely glancing at them as you do so.
He leads the way to the lobby wearily, acting far over protective of you.
You stand in silence staring at your shoes, practically enough to burn holes into them. Few people try to stop and ask questions but when they do, Jackson puts a stop to it with a simple look.
Soon Jo rejoins you and takes your arm, leading you to her car in the parking lot. Avery says goodbye but you don’t respond, too scared to speak.
You sit in the passenger seat and stare out the window at the Seattle night scene, feeling more empty than you ever had in your entire life.
——————————————————
6 months later...
You wearily let your knuckle tap the door a few times, fidgeting with your bare right ring finger. Not long ago, a silver ring had a place there. Not long ago, the person who presented you with that ring had his arms around you, smiling softly at you. That smile continued to haunt your dreams, your mind, your everything.
Maybe what you were doing was a bad idea. You knew that. But you needed it. It was like an itch, you couldn’t not scratch it.
A perky looking blonde opened the door and you didn’t even have to look at her to know who it was. Her long hair was in a perfect ponytail, she wore an apron covered in flour and had a little girl attached to her leg.
“Hi, how can I help you?” She asked with a friendly smile.
“Izzie I presume?” You say, gritting your teeth and cursing yourself for your idiotic decision to come out here.
“Yes? Do I know you?” She asks, clearly puzzled.
“No I guess not. I uh... I started at Grey-Sloan the same year as you. As an intern.” You explain vaguely, feeling too cowardly to go any deeper into detail.
The little girl peers up at you, clearly very curious. It’s enough to make you want to run away, never look back.
“Alexis honey, go find daddy and tell him he has a visitor.” She tells the small girl. She nods up to her, running off with a big smile.
The blonde eyes you up and down and you nervously rub your hand up and down your arm, trying to figure out what to do with your hands.
“Izzie who’s at the do-.” A painfully familiar voice starts, his mouth agape as your eyes meet.
“Hi.” You say sheepishly.
“Y/n...” He says, more like a statement than anything else.
“Daddy who’s your friend? She’s/he’s/they’re real pretty.” The little girl says with a shy grin.
You smile at her a bit, trying to keep from crying again.
“Thank you. So are you.” You reply with a forced smile.
“Kids go with your mom and help her with the cookies. Daddy and his friend need to talk.” Alex says, his eyes never leaving your face.
Izzie watches you both for a moment, hesitant to leave you alone until Alex gives her a pleading look and she takes each kid into their extravagant kitchen.
“Let’s um... let’s go and talk outside.” He suggests, rubbing the back of his neck. You don’t say another word and you follow him out to the yard, sitting down with him.
“How did you even find out where I live?” He asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence.
“Well, I first considered paying a PI to track you down. I wanted to make you feel even a fraction of what I felt.” You admit honestly.
He nods but completely avoids all eye contact.
“But then Meredith told me you gave her the address in your letter to her. That you invited her to meet your kids.” You add, kicking your feet around to distract yourself.
“Those letters must’ve arrived pretty late, I sent them over 6 months ago.” He mutters, biting at his index finger.
“No... they got there then. I just- I couldn’t bring myself to come out here and make a damn fool of myself.” You respond, biting your bottom lip. “Kind of like I’m doing now.” You add under your breath.
“Y/n, why are you here?” He asks, finally meeting your eyes with his own.
“Well evil spawn,” you start off and he does the half grin that makes your head spin every time, even now. “I had to see you. I had to see what it was you- you left me for.” You admit with a gulp.
“Y/n-“ he says but you shake your head.
“No. Let me finish. Please.” You whisper, your eyes watering again. He nods for you to proceed. “When I met you, that first day of intern year, you were a complete ass. Charming, funny but a complete ass. I got to know you and I fell for you, fell hard. My heart practically beat just for you. When you left... I was devastated. I didn’t know how I could live. I didn’t know how I could do what I love and work with all these kids, some of which you treated their entire lives.” You explain.
“Y/n I never meant to hurt you.” He promises, gulping down a lump in his throat.
“Don’t you think I know that?” You ask with a sad laugh. “God, I know you would never mean to. But I just- we have this... this story. I loved you. I loved you with everything I had and I just- your shares and your seat don’t make up for those years of love and memories I have. That WE have.” You say, tears streaming down your face.
“I remember the first time we were in the on call room together and you were already asleep and I came in and turned on the lights and you were so angry until you looked up and saw it was me. You started flirting, suggesting we share a bed to keep room for other Doctors. You actually fell off that bunk and said ‘guess I really fell for you huh’. That was the first day you made me smile the way you always did. It was the first time I took any kind of liking to you whatsoever.” You go on, smiling sadly at the past.
“I remember that. I had a bump on my damn head for weeks but it was worth the headache to see you smile like that at me. Because of me.” He chuckles.
“Yeah. I know, you kept trying to tell people it was because I was a freak in bed.” You roll your eyes at the thought that the man in front of you would ever say something like that.
“Anyway, my point is that I have all these great memories and experiences. But they’re all tainted with this one thing.” You sigh, staring at the gravel road.
“I’m not in love with Izzie.” He blurts, making your head shoot up to face him. “I don’t... I don’t know why I said I was in that letter. I think it was just to make it hurt so you wouldn’t hunt me down.” He continues.
“You always have liked keeping people at arms length.” You murmur.
“That’s not fair, you know it isn’t.” He exclaims in defence.
“I don’t even know what fair is anymore Alex! You took that from me too when you left!” You cry back. “You left me! You took off, taking everything of me with you. My dignity included. I cried, no I sobbed in front of Miranda Bailey, my boss! I cried in front of her and all over her scrubs! I can’t even enter my own home! It’s been 6 whole months but I can’t bring myself to go back in that loft because it will drown me and I won’t be able to come up for air Alex!” You shout.
He looks to the ground, keeping his distance and not speaking.
“And Alex? That feeling? It hurts. It hurts so damn much, I ache all over trying to control it, trying to stop it. My body, my heart, everything aches for you even now and I can’t do a thing about it.” You continue, too worked up to stop.
“You left me stranded with not so much as a proper goodbye. THAT is why I am here. I need at least some fraction of myself back.” You say quietly.
“I love you y/n. Like I said in the letter, I always will.” He says sheepishly, pursing his lips as he stares down the ground.
“What, you think that letter of all things helps me or even helps you? It doesn’t.” You mumble.
“What else do I say exactly. That I miss you? Because I do. I miss you like crazy. But I can’t- I cannot leave my kids.” He sighs.
“I’m not asking you to. I’m not asking you to come back either. I’m not asking for anything. I just needed to say SOMETHING to you. I needed this for myself. It might be selfish or stupid considering you didn’t give me permission to come here like you did for Mer but I honestly don’t care.” You rant.
“Y/n, you’re kidding me right? I’m the selfish one here! I’m the one who made an idiot of myself, leaving the people I know, the people I love for this.” He exclaims, hand running down his head. “I mean I love those kids with everything I’ve got but I don’t belong here. I’ve tried to make it work with her but it’s become even more abundantly clear that she and I never have and never will work.” He admits.
You look at him, wide eyes, taking in everything he just said. You could feel yourself trying to resist him, trying to ignore the way he still looked at you like you were the only person in the world.
“I should’ve never left.” He mutters, head in his hands.
“Alex-.” You start, not wanting to hear the words you knew he would say, that you know would make you weak in the knees.
“No y/n, for real. It was stupid of me to think I could just abandon everything I cared about to move here.” He mutters, running his hand down his jawline.
You sit in silence for a moment, trying to process.
“You’re right. It was stupid.” You agree, avoiding his eyes. “But it’s a little late now. You have kids Alex. They... they depend on you. You can’t just leave that.” You say with a sad smile his way.
“I wouldn’t have to! The kids, they would love Seattle. And everyone there would love them! Not to mention, they would absolutely adore you y/n. Just like I do.” He says excitedly.
“Alex... Something tells me that Izzie would never be ok with that. And we both know with your situation she would win a custody battle. Not to mention the fact that you shouldn’t put them through that in the first place.” You argue.
“God, you’re right. You’re always right y/n. It’s annoying how much you’re right about things.” He groans.
You laugh a bit, getting to your feet.
“And it’s funny how wrong but cocky you always are.” You counter, giving him a goofy smile.
“I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed seeing that smile until you were already thoroughly pissed at me.” He laughs.
“I was not THOROUGHLY pissed at you...” You say and he raises an eyebrow.
“That’s not what Mer told me.” He teases and you blush pink.
“Fine I was practically throwing darts at your picture. But I got over it. Eventually.” You grumble
He nods, clearly understanding why you would have been angry. You already knew him well enough to know he would be just as angry at himself as you were.
“You know the reason I didn’t give you the address right?” He asks suddenly, his head bolting up out of his hands. You shake your head no and he starts to chuckle a bit, the half grin spread across his face. “I uh... I already knew that if I did, you would storm your way down here to yell at me and I would’ve taken one look into those big, beautiful y/e/c eyes of yours, I would never be able to stay here. I should’ve known this was a bad idea from just that alone. I’m in love with YOU. Izzie may be the mother of my children but you are the love of my life. I wish I’d never left you.” He reveals.
“I really mean that much to you Karev?” You ask, biting at your lip unsurely.
He looks at you as if you’ve lost your mind. “Of course you do y/n. You always have and I already know you always will. You’re my world, even now. Just the idea of you moving on drives me insane, no matter how selfish it is for me to say.” He rants.
This time, you can’t control your emotions or your movements. You go up to him and grab him gently by the back of his neck, pulling him in and smashing your lips on his. He immediately gives in, grabbing at your back and pulling you even closer, as though he was scared to let go.
You pull away, stopping yourself and him from going any further.
“I’d say that was the most proper our kind of goodbye could get.” You say quietly, touching a finger to your lips as you slowly step backwards, moving away from Alex.
“Y/n!” He tries to stop you but you’re already on a sprint down the driveway, not wanting to mess things up for his family anymore than you felt you already had.
And with that, you ran from the love of your life, not even looking back to see if he was chasing you this time or not.
#imagine#imagines#fanfic#fanfiction#grey’s anatomy fic#greys anatomy fanfic#greys anatomy imagines#greys anatomy#greys anatomy imagine#grey’s anatomy imagine#meredith grey#alex karev imagine#alex karev#Alex karev fanfic#angst#fanfic angst#alex karev angst#greys anatomy fandom
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"Dear Jo,
I'm sorry. You deserve more than a letter. And this right here, this cowardice, this letter? It's officially the worst thing I've ever done. But it's about me, Jo. It's not about you. It's now what you deserve. You deserve and have earned so much better than this.I love you,Jo. I love that you are brilliant and brave, and no matter what you go through...you never let it hold you back.It makes you stronger, kinder. You made me kinder. You loved me for exactly who I was, and I loved you.I love you.Maybe it's not fair to say that, but it's true. What's also true is...I'm in love with Izzie.I imagined this whole life for her where she was baking and happy and had a bunch of kids. And I never imagined me in that picture. But suddenly, I am. Not suddenly. That's a lie there. There was a part of me that always wondered,always wanted to know, always felt like we left things unresolved,unfinished. So, when Mer needed all those letters, I reached out to her. I reached out to Izzie and we started talking and it scared the crap out of me because it felt like no time had passed,like Izzie and I were kind of frozen together in time, and now, now we're not. She's not. She's here in Kansas, on a farm in this incredible place in the middle of nowwhere. And I never, in a million years, would think I belong here, but I do. And I can't lie to you and pretend the truth isn't isn't the truth, that I love you and I love Izzie. But if it was just me missing her or nostalgia or whatever, I would have been able to walk away and come back to you. But Izzie had my kids. And I know you get what that really means. I know you of all people understand why I can't just leave now, why I can't miss another second of my kids' lives. I have a chance to make this family whole, and I just hope you love me back enough to let me take it. I need to give these kids the family you and I never had, with barbecuing out on the back porch and soccer games and movie nights and book reports.I didn't know she would have my kids and now that she does, I don't know how to look anyone in the eye if I don't stay and do everything I can to make this work, make this a life, make this a family.You were wrong. You're not the "let's get a dog" girl. And I was never holding a candle or those pieces of paper thinking anything would ever change. When I asked you to marry me, I meant it.When I told you I love you, I meant it. But Izzie has our kids, Jo. Our kids.And the way you and I grow up, I-I came to meet them, to start to know them. I missed five years of their lives.And not because I was junkie like my dad or off my meds like my mom. I didn't exist to them until I walked through the front door. And once I did, I had this family I never knew I had on this insane farm, and I wish I'd-I wish getting everything I always wanted didn't have to hurt you in the process.But I can't lie to you. And I can't come home.I'm not coming home,Jo. I can't face you. I can't look you in the eye because I wouldn't be able to walk away. Maybe "I love you" is wrong to say, but thank you for making me better and taking care of me when I needed it, for taking care of yourself when you needed it,too. I went to a lawyer. I signed divorce papers. I left everything to you, it's yours. You worked for every cent you ever owned and then some.I also left you my shares in Grey-Sloan. Whatever you choose to do with them, I know it will be amazing.Just like you.Oh, you deserve everything good in this life,Jo.I hope you find so much better than me. Thank you.I'm-I'm sorry. I don't know how to end this. I don't want to. Goodbye.
Alex."
↳ Grey’s Anatomy ↬ 16x16— "Leave A Light On.”
#jolex#jo karev#jo wilson#alex karev#greysedit#grey's anatomy#16x16#mygifs#I transcripted this whole thing and now I CAN'T STOP CRYING#THIS HURTS TOO MUCH GOSH HELP ME
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Caring Makes You Weak - Part 2
Summary: Harvey Specter, best closer in New York City and Senior Partner at Pearson Hardman, the man most females in the city want, yet he himself doesn’t want commitment, because caring makes one weak. Enter Elle Howard, a woman he met a long time ago. Will she be the one to break down his walls and make him care?
Thanks again for beta'ing @fortheloveoffanfic
Warnings: Light cursing, an evil stepmother(?)
Words: 1544
Hardman was gone, the merger with Zane pushed away again but now Jessica wanted to merge with Edward Darby and Harvey wanted - needed to stop it one way or another.
And now the one person he'd had worked very hard to forget about waltzed back into his life because his associate had taken her case. He was never the committing type and he should have never agreed to help Mike with that pro Bono. It wasn't even his case to begin with, so what had changed?
Staring out his windows he thought back to the first time he had met her. How could one woman rattle his brain like that? First Dana Scott, then Zoe Lawford and now…now there was Elle Howard.
Harvey had met her while out celebrating a big win with Jessica and Louis. When he walked up to the bar, she stood there, the fabric of her dress tight around her curves as she waited for her drink.
"Can I get you a drink?" he asked, leaning one arm onto the bar while he looked the redhead up and down.
She turned a smile on her lips and a drink in her hand. "I believe I'm still good, thank you."
"Well, why don't we move on to the next one?" Harvey smirked at her, holding out his hand for introductions. "I'm Harvey Specter."
Rolling her eyes, she emptied her drink and grabbed the clutch laying on the bar top. "And I'm not interested." The redhead nodded her head and moved to walk around him.
The warmth in his belly was replaced by a coldness as if someone had doused him with ice water. It had been some time since a woman had brushed him off with not being interested but he clearly was and he needed to get to know her. "Please, just let me buy you a drink." he said, his hand lightly holding onto her arm.
Sighing, the redhead turned, her blue-green eyes narrowing in on the lawyer. "You don't like a woman saying no, do you?"
"I always win them over, so I'd say you should take my offer." Harvey told her, nodding at Louis and Jessica, who just left the bar.
Moving closer to him, the woman smiled, her eyes shining with mirth. "Well in that case, I expect you to work your magic to win this case Mister Lawyer."
"How did you know I'm a lawyer?" Harvey asked astonished, not that he could have hidden his job in a bar full of businessmen.
The redhead smirked, leaning over to whisper in his ear. "It's not so hard to figure out, to be honest. So I'm looking forward to when you've won that case, too."
"Harvey!"
Blinking, the dark haired lawyer turned to face his associate. "What you got, Mike?"
"I've been calling you five minutes straight." the dark blond said, a smile on his face as Donna laughed at her cubicle. "What's got you so occupied?"
Shaking his head, Harvey held out his hand to look over the files. "Did you find some dirt on Tanner we can use?"
"Ah, not yet." Mike scratched the back of his neck, watching his boss carefully. "I wanted to ask Louis to help me with the financials, something doesn't seem right."
"Then get to it, I got something else to take care of." he got up from his chair, buttoning his jacket before he left his office. "I'll be back later, keep my schedule clear."
Donna and Mike looked after their boss before they faced each other. "What just happened?"
"I have no idea Junior, but he's been in a mood ever since you got back from Elle Howard last Friday." the secretary said, taking a sip from the latte Mike had brought her at lunch.
Once outside on the street level, Harvey waited for Ray to drive up. He needed to get a clear answer to the questions circling around his head. The black Lexus stopped in front of him and his driver got out, opening the door for him. "Where to, Harvey?"
"To the past." he sighed, giving his driver the address. The Indian man nodded his head, started the music and drove off.
"You want to talk about it, boss?" Ray had known his employer for nearly three years now and in all that time nothing had rattled him like the case he took on with Mike Ross. Harvey shook his head, watching the city fly by as the car made its way out of Manhattan and over to Williamsburg.
"Elle!"
Elle had to get the cries of her kids out of her head, so she decided to go grocery shopping and enjoy the walk over to the store not far from her apartment. Just when she got back, the redhead saw a black car parked on the street in front of her door. Sighing, she tightened her grip on the bags and ignored the sound of a car door opening.
She would recognize that voice anywhere. "What can I help you with, Harvey? Is there something good happening with the case?"
"Mike is still looking into it, but actually I'm here because I need to ask you something." the lawyer said moving closer to her. "Why did you really leave those years ago?"
Elle knew what he was getting into and she still had her secrets, things she couldn't have told him then and would definitely not tell him now. "You know it didn't work out for us."
"You still believe that?" he argued, pushing one hand into the pockets of his suit pants, clenching it with all his might. "I know that isn't the reason why, so stop that bullshit and tell me what made you rethink everything."
Shaking her head, the redhead walked around him, moving swiftly to the entrance of the apartment building she shared with Mike, but Harvey was faster. His hand held onto her arm, tight enough to stop her, but loose enough to not hurt her. Elle blinked her light eyes at the lawyer as she tried to form words without spilling what she had longed to tell him all those years ago. "We both wanted different things and you know it."
"Is that why you suddenly up and left New York? I asked Lucille and she told me you went to Boston. You didn't even think that you could have talked to me?"
Pulling away from him, she opened her mouth to answer him, but there was no sound coming out. Elle needed to get her head straightened out before she could really talk to Harvey and just when she knew what she would tell him, her phone rang again. The redhead pulled it out of her jeans' back pocket showing Charlie's name on the display. "I'm sorry, I have to take this."
"Mum" he sniffled and Elle immediately felt tears come to her own eyes. "Please come and get us. I hate it here."
She could hear his cries and the lawyer in front of her was totally forgotten. "Charlie, baby, what's going on?"
"I want to come back to you. I hate Sarah and she doesn't even want us there. She's mean to Izzy and me. Please, mommy, come and take us home."
Clasping a hand to her lips, Elle fought the urge to break down when she listened to her sweet boy cry because of her ex husband's new wife. "I'm sorry, sweetie, but I can't come and take you home. You know that we still have to wait a bit."
"No! I wanna go home now. Izzy doesn't like it here, too." the young mother could hear her youngest crying next to her son and she knew she had to put an end to it.
Closing her eyes, Elle took a deep breath. "Charlie listen to me, I'm going to come over and we'll talk, okay."
"Okay, I guess." She knew her son wasn't satisfied with her answer, but there was no way she was giving Travis more power over her, than he already had.
Harvey had listened to the conversation and was trying to come up with possible scenarios to fight against Tanner, just so he didn't have to listen to the kids crying for their mother. "I'm coming with you, Tanner isn't going to be happy with you showing up at his house."
"I can do that on my own, I know Travis." Elle tried to argue with the lawyer but from the look he shot her, she knew she'd have to fight him tooth and nails. "I don't need your help to make sure my kids are fine."
Shaking his head, he took a step back from her. "It's either me or I'm sending Mike to Tanner's house and you know it's not going to be pretty." Harvey held up his phone, ready to dial his associate so he could make sure nothing was going wrong and would destroy the case.
"Okay." the redhead muttered, lowering her head in defeat, she trusted Mike, but not around her ex-husband, he could be petty and it would end up in bloodshed if something went wrong. Rolling her blue eyes, she nodded, albeit reluctantly. "Fine. But at least let me get the shopping inside."
#harvey specter x ofc#harvey specter imagine#harvey specter#suits imagine#suits usa#gabriel macht imagine#gabriel macht#original female character#fanfiction
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Two Flies With one Stone: |Part 1| |Part 2| |Part 3|
Your rest and recuperation lasted over two months, as the wound wouldn’t heal and close, causing a dangerous infection. Magnus had to be called in the middle of the night, his magical herbs and incantations saving your life once more. Izzy was helping prepare invitations for the wedding, making arrangements for the flowers and guest list. All in secret, as Maryse hadn’t been informed yet. Most of the time you had barely any energy to eat let alone suggest who should be sat at what table, but she wasn’t deterred. It was Izzy’s way of giving you the motivation to grow stronger.
When Magnus said you were well enough to move, you insisted on sparring to gain back some of the muscle strength you had lost. Alec volunteered to make sure you wouldn’t get hurt.
“I think this is a really bad idea.”
You grab a pole off the stand and roll your eyes, “everything I do at this point is a bad idea, according to you. Even going to the bathroom alone.”
“I-I just… I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“Your hovering is absolutely adorable.”
“Shut up.”
His cheeks grow red and he straightens into a fighting pose, you attacking him immediately. Unlike your usual fighting style where you use stealth and distance to take down your enemies, you decide on a different approach to trick Alec.
His pole hits your side and you double over in pain, holding onto your abdomen. Alec drops his training weapon and runs to you. At which time, you swipe his feet from underneath him. You point the end of the pole at him with a grin.
“Like I said, absolutely adorable.”
“You cheated.”
“I did not. I tricked you, that’s different.”
Someone clears their throat as you help Alec up, your eyes falling on Maryse. Since she announced Alec and Lydia’s marriage, you hadn’t spoken to her. And she didn’t attempt to seek you out either. Alec wraps a hand around your waist protectively, a notion that doesn’t escape his mother’s eyes.
“I see you’re feeling better.”
“Yes, much. Still not duty-able though…”
“That’s fine,” Alec plants a kiss on your temple, “you don’t need to do any missions.”
Maryse can see the loving bond shared between the two of you. How each would do anything for the other. Something she wanted to break up because she didn’t deem you worthy of the Lightwood name. It took months of resentment and arguments with her children for her to see that.
“(y/n), do you mind if we speak? Alone?”
“Erm, sure…?”
Alec doesn’t want to let go of you as he watches his mother leave the training room. He feels your lips on his skin, reassuring him. You make your way after her to the courtyard where she sits down on a bench, surrounded by fragrant white and pink flowers.
“It’s been some time since you’ve been outside, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah… Magnus said I was okay to move around, but I had to be careful.”
“Training isn’t being careful.”
“That’s why Alec insisted on being my sparring partner, so I wouldn’t get hurt. The others have no tact or regard, he said.”
She chuckles, looking at the flowers. Maryse pulls out a purple velvet box, your eyes observing her with mild amusement. You’ve never seen the woman so nervous before.
“I know you said you didn’t want our family name. But I thought… You might reconsider that.”
She opens the box to reveal a beautiful ring, adorned with blue diamonds in an intricate design.
“It’s a family heirloom. To be given by the suitor to his or her betrothed. Even I know what true love looks like and I’m… I’m sorry for all the grief I’ve caused you.”
She opens up your palm and slips the box into it, tears in her eyes.
“Thank you for loving my boy, (y/n).”
You wrap your arms tightly around her, a wide smile on your lips. Tears fall down both your cheeks in happiness.
Izzy joins her brother in spying on his fiance and his mother, conversing about who knows what with wide smiles on your faces.
“Your possessiveness is rearing its teeth, big brother.”
“Shut up. I’m just worried…”
“Don’t be… Mother finally saw the error of her ways. She even helped me made the guest list.”
Suggested by @rennyd-26.
#Alec Lightwood#Alec Lightwood Imagine#Alec Lightwood x Reader#Shadowhunters#Shadowhunters Imagine#Not my gif#Requested
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Fate - Alec Lightwood
Let me just say before I start, yes I am aware that Alec is gay! I have read the first book, (getting the rest for my birthday) and I am so in love with Malec it is so not even funny anymore, but at the same time I read fanfiction and fiction in general to escape to put myself in the shoes of the reader. So when I write that is also what I do. I don’t know how to write in a male’s perspective and I’m not about to write a full story about it.
so in short, I am sorry to whoever I offend by posting this story. But I have been Brewing it over in my head since October 2019. So all I can say is I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think. <3
I never knew who my mother was. She left me on the doorstep of the Lightwood’s when I was just a baby. Alexander Lightwood and I grew up together, wreaking havoc on Maryse and Robert since before we could talk. The Lightwood’s were exiled from Idris before my first birthday and with Alec and I in tow Maryse and Robert moved to New York, where they proceeded to have Isabelle, and where they adopted Jace Wayland. The Four of us were never seen without each other as we grew up. Alec became Jace’s Parabatai and Izzy and I were close to it ourselves, we just never got around to doing the ritual while we were growing up.
When Clary joined the institute, Jace and Alec seemed to be in a disagreement constantly. I started to worry for my family, I wasn’t sure how parabatai’s actually worked but I was almost sure that Jace and Alec’s might start to disappear if they kept at it.
I had followed Clary, Jace and Izzy to help free Meliorn from Lydia. We were surprised to say the least when Alec was the one leading Meliorn to the silent brothers. Clary, Jace and I snuck up behind Alec and Meliorn.
“Alec.” Clary yelled jogging ahead and gaining his attention. Jace stepped in between Alec and Meliorn and the entrance to the City of Bones. I stayed back out of the way. I noticed Alec’s eyes shift for a spilt second to me before turning his attention back to Jace and Clary like I wasn’t even there.
“You told me you were taking Clary back to the Institute. You lied to me.” He growled his hands closing into fists.
“I did what needed to be done.” Jace fired back as Clary walked up to Meliorn and I took a couple of steps forward, in case I was needed to break up a parabatai fight.
“Alec, the Clave has gone too far. You have to see that. Please, just let Meliorn go.” I said calmly to him. His eyes flicked to me yet again before he looked down, not making eye contact.
“I have my orders.” His hand twitched slightly, getting ready for a fight. I saw Clary flare up.
“You and your damn orders. Who cares about orders?” Clary shouted at him. I squeezed my eyes shut, she has no idea about this world. I opened my eyes as Alec took a step closer to Clary.
“See?” he almost laughed while he gestured to Clary. “That’s how little you know about being a Shadowhunter. You couldn’t possibly understand–.”
“It’s you that doesn’t understand, Alec. Not this time.” Jace started as Alec started to move closer to the entrance. “I’m really sorry.” Jace’s head motions for me to go. I jump on Alec’s back, easier than I expected honestly, still not as easy as you might think.
“Clary, Meliorn, go, now!” Jace yells, Clary and Meliorn make a run for it as Alec flips me off his back and kneels gently on my chest. Jace knocks Alec off me and quickly jump up into a fighting stance.
“You always broke the rules, but never the law, not until she showed up.” Alec accused.
“You’ve had it out for Clary from the start. And now you’re getting married, Alec? We both know what this is about.” Jace yelled, I stood back and watched boys fight it out.
“Oh, do we? Okay. Why doesn’t the legend, Jace Wayland, tell us what’s it about?” Alec counters pushing Jace up against the cave wall.
“It’s about Mia! It’s about your feelings. It’s because you’re–.” Jace yells at him as my jaw goes slack looking at the two of them. Alec has pulled out his blade and now has Jace on the ground with it placed against his neck. “Do it. Do it! I don’t wanna be alive if we’re on different sides, Alec.” I watch as Alec gets off Jace.
“Come with us. We’ll fight Valentine the right way: together.” I told Alec stepping closer to him as Jace gets to his feet.
“If we do that, we’ll be considered traitors like Mom and Dad.” Alec said, I knew he was worried about what they had done as circle members, but I didn’t think it was this bad. This must be why he is getting married.
“I’m begging you, my parabatai, my brother. Please, Alec, come with us.” Jace pleaded with him as he and I both stepped forward again. Alec slid down the wall of the cave shaking his head.
“No.” with that one word I felt my heart break. I made sure Alec could see it as Jace and I walked away, he pulled me into his side as a tear rolled down my cheek.
We met back up with Meliorn and Clary outside of the Hotel Dumort. Izzy was locked in a passionate kiss with Meliorn before Jace clears his throat to break them up.
“I hate to break up this reunion, Izzy, but we have to go.” Jace reminded her of the rest of the mission; get Meliorn back to the Seelie realm.
“You’re in good hands.” Izzy says to Meliorn before turning to Clary, Jace and I. “I need to get back to the Institute, see what hell has broken loose. Try and talk some sense into Alec.” She gives me a sad look before she places a hand on my arm gently. “Take care of him.”
“We will.” Clary and I saw in unison.
“Kick Alec’s ass for me.” I told her. She and Meliorn share another kiss before she pulls away and walks her way to the institute.
Isabelle told me it was your idea to rally the Downworlders. That you spearheaded my rescue.” Meliorn said to Clary, “She also told me that you would have to go up against Alec, someone you love,” he turned his attention to me. I felt my cheeks blush before the memory of Alec saying ‘no’ to Jace and I resurfaced and all I did was nod my head towards Meliorn.
“Don’t give me too much credit. Isabelle made this happen. We just helped.” Clary stated as we started walking.
“She’s being modest. You’re a Shadowhunter now.” Jace said.
“I have been surprised by more than one Shadowhunter tonight. You risked everything to unite us.” Meliorn thanked Clary once again.
“Right after you tried to sell her out.” Jace reminded Meliorn. I looked away as we continued to walk towards a park I had never seen before.
“Not my finest moment. Which is why I’m offering you both a gift, for your sacrifice. If you’re ready, I can help you find your father.” Meliorn said addressing both Clary and I. I looked behind me to Jace, giving him a questioning look. I didn’t know who my father was.
Clary and I stepped through the portal to the alternate dimension, where she and I were standing in a kitchen together. She turns around and grasps a butter knife holding it up in front of her.
“Where’s my mother?!” she shouts accusingly.
“Whoa. Is this from one of your cosplay skits?” I heard Valentine ask as I turn around. “Uh, honey? Come in here. You gotta see this.” He turns to call into the living room. “No, seriously, you have to let me come with you, just once, okay? I wanna see what you do at these things, all right?” he turns to face the two of us again. Jocelyn enters the kitchen and takes in the scene in front of her, Clary slightly in front of me holding up a knife.
“Val, you’re not allowed to do cosplay. You’d stick out like a sore thumb.” Jocelyn says coming up to Valentine. At the sight of her mother Clary drops the knife and moves over to her.
“Mom.” She pulls her in for a tight hug. I just stand there unsure of what to do.
“Wow. Wow, if you miss us this much, you should really leave the dorm room more often.” Jocelyn jokes as Clary pulls away.
“Right. Sorry.” Clary moves back over to me.
“Oh Amelia, honey, your mum said she wouldn’t be able to see you for breakfast this morning, so you’ve got us instead.” Jocelyn says to me before she moves to sit down at the kitchen table. I notice one of the sketches is signed by Jocelyn Morgenstern. I nudge Clary discreetly who then looks at the painting also. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket as Clary sits down hesitantly.
“Clary…” Jocelyn holds up a cup of tea in a toast as I sit down opposite Clary at the table pulling out my phone. “In honour of your father’s Mad Hatter party tonight.” She takes a sip and I look at the message that lit up my screen.
From: Alec
Can’t wait to see you today, looking forward to that coffee :)
“Your mom made waffles for you. Come on, kiddo, you gotta eat something, right. So, Clarissa… when do I get to meet this new man in your life, hmm?” Valentine asks as he also sits down. It felt like I was intruding on family bonding time and I wasn’t even sure why I was here in the first place anyway. Valentine wasn’t my father.
“Val.” Jocelyn chastised
“What? I have to give my stamp of approval, right? For both of you by the way, you may not be blood related but we still think of you as our daughter Amelia.” Valentine said looking towards me. So that’s why I'm here. I'm basically family.
“Oh, Clary, look at this commercial, it’s hilarious. It’s so bad, it’s good.” Jocelyn states and we all swivel on our chairs to look towards the tv sitting in the dining room. I see Magnus, Hodge and Luke on the tv in the commercial, apparently in this dimension Magnus is a psychic, I guess a warlock never changes his mark. I notice Clary starts to space out slightly and I drop my fork to bring her back. She gasps before standing up abruptly.
“I have to go.” She says as she gathers up her things.
“Uh, so do I, thank you for breakfast.” I say politely as I grab my phone and stand up too.
“What?” Jocelyn asks Clary and I.
“I thought you were spending the morning with us.” Valentine asks looking up at the two of us also.
“I, uh, have a last-minute assignment due that I haven’t even started yet, so I gotta go.” Clary states before rushing out of the door.
“I uh, have a date.” I say before following Clary out.
#alec lightwood imagines#Alec Lightwood#the mortal instruments#clary fairchild#jace herondale#isabelle lightwood#alec lightwood x reader#shadowhunters
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Smoldering Flames
A/N: I’m loving all the requests that you guys have sent in. I hope you guys like this fic, I think it probably could be better. I wanted to add smut but I suck at writing it. If any of you have any advice please share. I’m gonna try and learn, we’ll see how that goes. And a special thanks, literally from the bottom of my heart to @oscarwilde-hellyeah for editing this for me. Requests are open, you can request something here. Let me know if you have any questions and feel free to give feedback.
*~~~*
Masterlist
Izzy Stradlin x Reader
Requested by: Anonymous
Request: Hey there! I wanted to request Izzy Stradlin one shot. I’ve been thinking about something like enemies with benefits but after some time they start to have feelings for each other and the reader tells him and he laughs at her because he’s kinda scared and later he goes to her apartment and tells her he feels the same?
Word Count: 4.1k
Warnings: Language, implied sex, drinking, long as fuck
Y/n tossed Izzy his shirt before picking her own up off the floor. He grabbed the material without even looking at her, sliding it over his head in a fluid motion. Izzy straightened his hair, he knew that the boys had every idea as to what he had gotten up to, but he didn’t want to look like a train wreck when he walked out of Y/n’s office. He wasn’t a professional man by any means, but he didn’t want to look like a hobo. That was for Duff or Axl to do, not him. They were the ones that were always surrounded by girls, anyway. So, that type of appearance, the disheveled, strewn hair, wrinkled clothes, was their look.
And he wasn’t the only one that thought so.
Y/n pulled her blouse over her head, making sure that she had it on properly and that it sat the way she wanted it to. As Izzy went to put his shoes back on, Y/n went over to the mirror she had next to her bookshelf and made sure that her makeup hadn’t been smudged before adjusting her blouse. Her boss had no idea about what went on in her office and she wanted to keep it that way. There was no way he would fire her over something like that. He pulled girls into his office all the time, but she didn’t want the knowledge to make him look at her in a different light.
“We should do this more often,” Izzy commented as he tied his shoes.
Y/n scoffed. She hadn’t really wanted to do it in the first place. Well… That’s not true. She had wanted to, but she knew that it wasn’t something she wanted to continue. Being friends with benefits was one thing, but Izzy and her weren’t even that. They weren’t friends and, most likely, would never be. She was just the assistant that was gullible enough to want to be his toy while he was recording. If she had any sense, she’d be disgusted by what she’d let herself become. “We seem to do it more and more often.”
“Hey, I’m good, just admit it. That’s why we’ve been fucking like rabbits,” he smiled smugly at her, before standing up and walking to the door.
She shook her head, looking at him through the mirror.
How had she ended up here?
“Never in your wildest dreams, Izzy. And I think a rabbit would probably do better, they probably got more experience than you.”
The man rolled his eyes before opening the door and leaving.
He was such a pain in the ass. They all were. Y/n turned from the mirror and grabbed her heels from where she had kicked them off. She should have known better than to get involved with someone she worked with, but no. She was idiotic and naive. There would probably be consequences for her actions, there had to be. And it didn’t help matters that Izzy’s bandmates couldn’t stand her. Well, Izzy couldn’t really either. She groaned, slipping her shoes on.
What a position she found herself in.
Y/n couldn’t even remember how she had found herself in such a position. She’d never been the type of girl to throw herself at anyone, let alone be friends with benefits. To her, it was a waste of time. If you wanted a good time, it was just better to go to the bar and pick someone up. There would be fewer emotions involved down the road. Constantly coming back to the same person was messy and made everything more complex. It almost made it like a relationship, having expectations for both involved. The ending would be just as pleasant as a breakup.
The hate, though, between Izzy and her was different than that between her and his bandmates, and it terrified her. It was a fiery hatred that was hot and heavy. Instead of throwing insults at each other like she often did with the other boys, Izzy and her were tearing each other’s clothes off. Y/n wasn’t sure what it meant. She didn’t even know that hate could fuel such a thing.
And she wasn’t sure what kind of ending it would create.
Straightening her clothes one last time, Y/n walked out of her office, documents that needed to be signed by her boss in her hand. Passing by her boss’s office, she noticed that he wasn’t in and figured that he was probably helping the boys with something or yelling at them for breaking something. It seemed that the band was always getting themselves into trouble. A few days before, they had broken a drum set during a fight. No one was sure what it was over, but her boss wasn’t happy about having to replace it.
Walking into the studio the band was occupying, she was hit by a wave of cigarette smoke and sweat. Y/N took a deep breath, the scent burned her nostrils, and looked around for her boss. He was nowhere to be found; instead, her eyes drifted to the small table in the room that was covered in beer cans and cigarette buds. What pigs, she thought as her eyes caught the paper and trash that covered the floor.
“If it isn’t Hollywood’s whore,” Axl commented, glancing up from his guitar and finally noticing her appearance. Y/n rolled her eyes. He would have to do better than that... men she walked passed on the street did better than that.
“And if it isn’t everyone’s favorite drug dealer. Have you seen Mr. Miller?” Her words laced with venom as she looked the boys over. Poor excuses for musicians. Too busy drinking to care about keeping their careers. But, they were famous, so did being on time really matter?
The boys shook their heads as Steve raised his hand. “Got a question for you, too. Have you seen Izzy? He kinda disappeared on us,” he said with a smile, earning a laugh from the rest of the boys.
She set her jaw, rolling her eyes yet again. “Honestly, you are all children.”
Y/n walked out of the room before they could say anything more, barely catching the words they spat to her back.
And that was Guns N’ Roses.
Those were the children she had to put up with. Y/n had worked with countless musicians during her time at the studio. All of them brought along challenges, but she had managed to get along with them. But there was something about this band that just made her skin burn. She wasn’t quite sure what it was. Maybe it was because they thought they were all that and a box of chocolate? Or the fact that they never seemed to be sober? The reason couldn’t be pinned down, but there was one, and sleeping with Izzy wasn’t helping her like them anymore. It certainly wasn’t helping her fix the problem.
It seemed that every since the band found out about their relationship, all they did was pick fun at her. Y/n was used to things like that since her sisters always used to do it to each other, but it was different coming from people that didn’t mean well. And, after all, her sex life was none of their business. It was no one’s business, yet they teased her anyway. It just frustrated her, making her not want to get along with any of them.
Professionalism was out the window when they were around and the polite, sweet, Y/n was gone. It seemed as though that part of her couldn’t stand their wild behavior, let alone put up with it. That left her with little patience and tolerance.
*~~*~~*
Y/n sat on her desk, watching Izzy button his pants, his long hair falling in his face. No matter how much he brushed it aside, it still covered his eyes, making the task at hand difficult. The struggle brought a smile to her lips before she frowned at the thought. She wasn’t even sure why she was watching him. She’d seen him almost every day for god knows how long. He’d had the same problem almost each and every time they were alone together. She should have been sick of looking at him... looking at his long fingers, perfect hair, and brown eyes that shone in the light. Y/n should have been sick of it all. Sick of every fiber of his being. But as she sat on her desk, she couldn’t help but be mesmerized by him, by all the things she should have been sick of.
Y/n drew in a breath, digging her nails into the hardwood beneath her as the feeling hit her like a tsunami, knocking the air out of her. The foreign feeling surged through her body, rushing through her veins, hitting her chest like a ton of bricks.
Love.
A chill ran down her spine as she repeated the word to herself.
Love.
She loved him.
How disgusting.
Relationships like the one Izzy and her had were never meant to get to that point. Everything was supposed to be meaningless. Meaningless sex. Meaningless words. Meaningless actions. Nothing was supposed to hold any weight. And yet, it seemed that everything now did. Everything held a different meaning in her eyes, and she hated that more than she thought she hated him. Maybe that was why their hatred was weird to her. It wasn’t hate at all. It was something worse.
Something heartbreaking.
Izzy looked up at her, feeling the heat of her gaze. “What wrong? Do I have lipstick on me or something?”
Y/n shook her head, her eyes falling to the floor. “No, no. Nothings wrong.”
He raised a brow, not believing a word she said. Y/n wouldn’t either. Her voice was suddenly less casual than it usually was. She hadn’t thought that Izzy would notice the slight change, but it seemed he had.
“I don’t believe you,” he told her. “But whatever is bothering you better not ruin the sex.”
Yeah, it better not, she thought as she watched him leave like she did every time. But that was probably what it was going to do. It was going to make him want nothing to do with her because he’d think that she’d become clingy. He most likely didn’t want a relationship, anyway. He probably liked not having to deal with anyone’s problems but his own.
She felt the same way. Being single was nice. Her sisters had always complained about how boring and lonely it was but she couldn’t agree. Being able to do whatever she pleased without having to take anyone's feelings but her own into account was the best thing in the world. It was a type of freedom that people often neglected to mention. It was probably the only freedom in the world. So, him not wanting a relationship wouldn’t be the end of the world to her, not when she wasn’t sure if she wanted one either.
Y/n sat there a long while. She wasn’t sure if it was worth mentioning to Izzy or not. Did her feelings even matter when it came to something that was meant to have no feelings? No emotions? She couldn’t answer that. Her heart was telling her that he needed to know. That maybe things would work out. False fantasies suddenly piled up in her head as her brain tried to play through them all. As they played out, she knew that none of them would happen. Izzy just wasn’t that kind of guy. He probably thought nothing of her other than a quick fuck. That was certainly all she had thought of him in the beginning. And it was meant to stay that way, nothing more.
Obviously, her heart didn’t get the memo.
It never did.
Love had never been her strong suit. Growing up, she only had toxic relationships to take notes on. Her parents fought day and night, and if there wasn’t anything to fight about, they would create something out of thin air. It was tiring being around them and feeling the negativity ooze off of them. The poison that she watched growing up did nothing to help her navigate any relationship she pursued.
It was wrong of her to blame her relationship problems on her parents, but she never knew what real, compassionate love was because of them. Y/n only experienced the dark side of love, the side that no one wanted to talk about. Due to her parents, she didn’t know what it was like to love someone or to be loved by someone. It was the consequence of having such an upbring, of tumbling into the dark unknown. She stumbled into things and people she never would have if she’d known how it felt to actually be loved. What she had experienced with all of the relationships she had been in wasn’t love, but a twisted version of it. Something people cleaned and polished to pass off as it.
*~~*~~*
The door swung open with a creak, announcing Izzy’s entrance. His eyes mischievous like every time he walked into her office-- bright and sparkling. But unlike every time, Y/n didn’t stand from her chair or look up from her work. Head down, pen in hand, she paid no attention to the man, continuing with her work like he hadn’t even entered. Izzy shut the door, hoping that the action would get him somewhere, but it didn’t. Still, she sat behind her desk, not paying attention to him.
That wasn’t normal.
“Y/n, are you gonna make me beg or something?”
Her head darted up, eyes wide in surprise. “Sorry,” she blinked. “I guess I didn’t hear you come in.”
Izzy flashed a flat, lifeless smile at her before unbuttoning his pants. That was a reasonable answer.
“No,” she shook her head, motioning for him to stop. “Can we talk first? Like actually talk?”
Her eyes darted around, looking for something other than his face to land on. Her heart had won the battle, deciding that she had to tell him. It was for the best. It would be better for her heart to be broken in the beginning than six months later when he threw her away like a piece of trash for some new girl. And, besides, she had brushed it off for weeks. Every time she thought of telling him, every time she thought was a good time, her fears rushed to the front of her brain halting her actions.
Fears aside, it was now or never.
She stood from her desk, fiddling with her hands as she waited for an answer.
“This better not be some stupid shit like you’ve got feelings for me or something like that,” he said, buttoning his pants back up, disappointed that he wasn’t going to get what he wanted. He’d walked in for one reason and one reason only, and he wasn’t happy that he had to wait to get to it. The disappointment shown clearly on his face as his smile disappeared and the glimmer in his eyes faded into nothing.
Blood rushed to her cheeks as she nodded. God, how she hated herself. She hated how he could make her feel that way. “Yeah, yeah. That would be it.”
Izzy started laughing-- laughing like she had said some stupid, hilarious joke. The way he did around his friends. But what she said wasn’t hilarious-- maybe stupid-- but it was no joke. It was serious.
“Oh, god-” He tried to calm himself down, clutching his side. “-I hate to break it to you, Y/n. As great of a fucker as you are, it’s never going to happen. I don’t do relationships.”
She nodded, looking at the floor, a little ashamed of herself for even mentioning it. It clearly wasn’t worth it. Hadn’t she expected that answer? Yes, it was one of the first that crossed her mind.
“That’s fine. I wasn’t expecting you to.”
He shook his head, before reaching for the door.
“Let me know when you’re available and your emotions aren’t, okay?” He slipped out of her office without another word, leaving her frozen in place.
She was such a fool. Of course, she was nothing more than some toy to him. Only important when he needed a release. It was horrible that he was more than that to her and it was horrible that she wished she still viewed him as nothing more than a toy. She wanted to go back to that, back to the time when they weren’t anything to each other. A time when everything was less complicated.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Y/n whispered to herself, tears pricking the corner of her eyes. Things wouldn’t be complicated if she hadn’t of said anything at all. But no, she had to listen to her stupid fucking heart. The heart wants what the heart wants, and it sure as hell got exactly that. But what the fuck did her heart know? It wasn’t like it had a master’s degree in love. It had nothing but foolish knowledge that was of no use.
Wrapping her arms around her middle, she sunk to the floor.
“Why am I like this?” she asked herself, head resting against her desk as the tears fell. “Why do I hurt myself like this?”
Y/n sat like that for a while, those two questions playing over and over again. She had no answers, there were none. The only question she could answer was the last one Izzy had asked her. Her emotions would always be available. As long as he was in her life they would always be present. So, no, she couldn’t let him know when they weren’t. They always would be.
*~~*~~*
Izzy stared in front of him, looking past the cigarette smoke at nothing in particular, as Steve and Axl threw crumpled up paper at each other. The room was buzzing with energy that he couldn’t match. The atmosphere, the booze, the laughs, the smell of cigarettes and sweat, he couldn’t take in any of it. He could only drown it out. Everyone around him was having a good time, enjoying themselves like they always did. Not paying much attention to anything besides how empty their cups were getting and when to pull out another cigarette.
As much as he wanted to join in on the fun, he wasn’t feeling it. All the fun in him had leaked out at the words he said earlier, the ones that had clearly left marks on Y/n, echoed back to him. He shouldn’t have said anything, certainly not the words he had said.
The memory came back to him like it had taken place moments ago. Her body language hadn’t changed at his words, she was too professional for that. It wasn’t her face, her nose scrunching up or her lips turning down into a frown. It was her eyes. The glow, the delight that was always present, had gone. Flown away like a bird escaping a storm. Left in its place, he knew, was tears.
Before his brain could beat him up any further, Saul nudged his leg. “What up with you, man? You’re ruining the mood.”
He shrugged, putting his head in his hands. “I’m fucking in love with Y/n, that’s what’s up.”
Saul rolled his eyes, it wasn’t the first time one of them had brought the mood down over a girl. Upon hearing the answer, Axl paused what he was doing, putting the wads of paper on the table, and grabbed his wallet. Opening it, he pulled out a $20 and handed it over to Duff, who didn’t hesitate to take it.
Izzy looked at the two as Duff shoved the money in his pocket. “You two had a bet going!”
The pair nodded.
“Yeah, it was obvious that you’d fall for her,” Duff shrugged. “Axl didn’t see it, but that’s why I’m 20 dollars richer.” He smiled at the redhead who hit him with a paper ball. Duff threw the ball back before taking a seat next to Izzy. “You should tell Y/n how you feel. The worst she can do is deny you sex.”
Saul nodded in agreement.
Izzy shook his head, disappointed with himself. He couldn’t do that anymore. He’d let that door slam shut in front of him. He shook his head again, leaning back into the couch.
“I can’t do that. I made a fucking fool of myself.” He ran a hand through his hair. “She told me she feels the same, but like the fucking idiot I am, I laughed in her face. ‘I don’t do relationship.’”
He scoffed at his own worlds. Why was he so stupid?
Steven shook his head, picking a beer off the table.
“What are we gonna do with him?” He grabbed a bottle opener and popped the top off. “He’s never gonna get a girl if he keeps tellin’ all of them things like that.”
Duff nodded in agreement, brushing his blonde hair out of the way. Turning to his friend, he sighed. “Okay, you are in some deep shit, but you just gotta tell her you fucked up and that you’re an ass,” he told Izzy with such confidence that it had to be true.
Izzy looked up at him with a confused look. “I think she already knows I’m an ass.”
His friend laughed. “True, but chicks dig it when you admit. It makes you seem like more of a man.” He paused as Izzy took in his words. “And then tell her how you feel.”
“And if that doesn’t work, well, you’re screwed,” Saul laughed as he grabbed a paper ball off the floor and threw it at Axl.
*~~*~~*
Plucking at the guitar strings, Y/n adjusted them as needed as she tuned the instrument. She didn’t play all the time, but often enough that it was always out of its case. She couldn’t go much further in tuning the instrument as a knock came from the door. Turning to look at the door, she set the instrument on the coffee table and went to see who it was.
Pulling it open, she came face to face with the last person she thought she would see. “Izzy.”
A small smile formed on his lips. “Y/n. There’s something I want to tell you.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “What more is there for you to say? I think you’ve said everything already and I don’t need a repeat. I heard you loud and clear.”
He mentally kicked himself. Why was he such an idiot? He seemed to ruin everything good in his life.
“I’m sorry about that. I really am. I was an ass earlier and that wasn’t fair to you.” He sighed when he saw that it hadn’t changed anything. Her expression hadn’t faltered, still looking at him with cold eyes. Clearly, Duff wasn’t right about that. He’d admitted that it was his fault and yet, she hadn’t wavered. “I-I only said those things, Y/n, because I was terrified about what you said. I didn’t want things to change.”
She shook her head. “What is that supposed to mean? Things have clearly changed.”
The whole damn world had changed because of what they had both said.
Izzy nodded, he knew that his words really didn’t change much. They held little power compared to the ones he had spoken earlier that day. “I’m in love with you, Y/n, and I know that’s not gonna change what I said earlier but I do. I fucking love you and that terrifies me. Relationships terrify me,” he confessed. “I don’t like the thought of doing something so personal, something that can cause me so much pain.”
Y/n’s face fell, she knew what he meant. Love was a tricky thing. You gave your heart away only to get it back broken. “I understand, I really do.” She opened the door further. “You wanna come in?”
He smiled, his eyes glowing. “Is there any way I can make it up to you?” It was that mischievous smile again. How it made Y/n’s knees weak.
She laughed, stepping a little closer to him, their noses almost touching. “I’m sure you can figure something out,” she smiled, bringing her lips to his.
Izzy broke away enough to look at her.
“I think I just did.” He wrapped his arms around her, picking her up, getting a small yelp from her as her feet were lifted off the ground. He strode into her apartment, closing the door with his foot as she directed him to the bedroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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MALEC. ➰ PROS & CONS TO MARRY YOU. (STAY WITH ME)
This story takes place between episode 3Bx16 & 3B17.
Why does Alec suddenly thinks about getting married?
-> Alec creates a pro and contra list about whether he should propose to magnus or if it is too early etc. He confronts himself with his thoughts and fears, which had never been expressed loudly before. *(Part 3 of my series: our heart beats like one)
My vision is blurred and everything around me happens like in slow motion. I'm standing there like a fool and don't have the strength to move. My heart contracts as if it were crushed in someone's fist. The air is thin and Izzy had called Catarina Loss to help, when she heard my cries for help. I'm so mad at myself. "Magnus, Magnus, can you here me?" is the only thing I can say. Why didn't I see it coming? I'm still standing there as if rooted to the ground, too shocked to do anything meaningful. "Please, I'm right here" I continue talking, in the hope that he at least hears my voice. I had given Magnus a heart rhythm massage until Cat finally arrived after a felt eternity. Cat now kneels next to Magnus on the floor and holds her hands over his right clavicle and left chest muscle. Stand back" she commands. A blue cloud flows out of her palms, enveloping his lifeless body, and once again an electric shock of several thousand volts shot through his chest area to reactivate his heartbeat. "Come on, Magnus. Hang in there" Catarina screamed in panic as still nothing happened. "Catarina is he going to be all right?" I ask anxiously. Another electric shock. But Magnus, whose body had just shrugged like wild before, lay there now only calm and motionless. "I...I...Alec he's gone..." Cat sobs and looks at me in disbelief. I see the tears rolling over her blue face. I know that she has done everything in her power, because she doesn't even have the strength to maintain her glamour. I feel pure fear crawling up inside of me. No. No he can't be dead, he simply just can't be dead! I don't know how, but somehow my body starts moving again and I stumble uncoordinated and fall on the floor next to Magnus. Stay with me is the only thought that constantly wanders through my head and throbs like my own heartbeat in my head. I form my right hand into a ball and place the left hand over it to start another heart rhythm massage. I feel Cat's pitiful look on me, but she says nothing. I won't give up on him. Press twice per second, I know how it works, every shadowhunter knows the required frequency, but the longer I press the more the fear is taking over me and the more irregular my rhythm becomes. I repeat: "stay with me Magnus" to the beat of my pressure movement. I can't lose you, I just can't. "Stay with me Magnus" I taste something salty wet in my mouth and realize that it is my tears that flow over my face and is taking my sight. But I can't wipe them away. I don't have time to release my hands from Magnus. "Stay with me Magnus! I don't have to see anything to know that I can't stop, that I won't stop. "Stay with me Magnus!" I drift off and my body... Oh God as if I were in free fall... No. No. No. The darkness surrounds me and I am lost in nothing. My thoughts echo through the dark void. Our hearts beat like one and if his stop beating, mine dies with him. Magnus is dead.
Alec opens his eyes disorientated, he is bathed in sweat and his heart races as fast as it threatens to jump out of his chest. He looks around in fear and searched for Magnus. He is alive, it was all just a nightmare! At least the part about his death. Alec's subconscious had probably played a trick on him with his greatest fear. The fear of losing Magnus. How could this happen? Why had he not noticed the signs? Or had he noticed them and simply ignored them...? Alec is sitting on a very uncomfortable plastic chair, in the New York Institute in the Medic department, watching Magnus. His chest lifts and lowers gently to the beeping sound of the ECG device. His breathing is flat and slow but he is breathing. It is so unusual to see him uncombed and without make-up. In the blue coat he seemed almost inconspicuous and very vulnerable. Alec has been sitting on this chair for hours, he must have fallen asleep, he thinks, rubbing the palms of his hands against his face. He closes his eyes and the pictures reappear before his inner eye. With a shake of his head he tries to shake the pictures away. Yes, it was close but they had made it and Cat had set up everything right here to watch Magnus non-stop. A cold shiver ran down Alec's back as he tried to interpret his dream, it had felt so real. And he believed he knew what the message was behind it. He had to apologize to Magnus. Alec had a guilty conscience because he should have known how tortured his boyfriend really was.
Alec interlaced his fingers and began to speak slowly: "Magnus, I... I don't know if you can here me. But this is my fault. I was selfish. When you first lost your powers and you said you were okay with it, I...I didn't think twice. I guess I was just so happy that maybe we could... grow old together." He took a break to breathe deeply. It was the first time he said it out loud. He was ashamed of that thought. He had asked himself several times whether he was a bad boyfriend because of that. He had talked to Underhill about this topic. But to say it out loud, to hear his voice, brought him the knowledge and thus the answer to his question. It had hurt him when Magnus had accepted Lorenzo's magic without talking to him about it. But Magnus magic was a part of him and he didn't have the right to begrudge him that. And he knew one thing for sure. To see Magnus happy was the only thing that really mattered. Alec's heart got heavier at this thought and he started rubbing his thumb over his ankles nervously. He tended to exert so much pressure on that movement that it almost hurt. But the pain there eased the pain in his heart. He sniffed before continuing: "I guess I just didn't realize, how deep down, how much you were suffering. Magnus, I love you. He reached for Magnus' hand, near the tears and his voice was now full of despair: "More than anyone in the world and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." He heard the sliding door open and quickly wiped away the one tear that had made it over his cheeks. "May I come in" Cat asked gently. "Yeah" Alec replied and stood up with a deep sigh to talk to Cat about Magnus' condition. "Did you manage to make contact with the people at the Spiral Labyrinth" he asked full of hope. She nodded, "yes, I shared the test results, an he agreed. Magnus' body is rejecting Lorenzo's magic. "Rejecting? What do you mean?" Alec asked and folded his arms in front of his chest. "Think of it like a failing organ transplant. Each time Magnus performs a spell it puts a tremendous strain on his body. He got lucky this time. He will regain consciousness . But if he uses magic again, even for something small, he might not survive," she explained to Alec in a haunting tone. "Why can't you just fix him? Why can't you just take Lorenzo's magic out?" Alec asks in surprise. "I wish I could. The only one who can reverse the transfer is the person who gave it to him" she explains. "Lorenzo did this on purpose," Alec hummed furiously. "Alec, there's no way he could have planned it. With magic transfusions, there's always this possibility." Cat tried to protect Lorenzo. But Alec disagreed. "No he knew how desperate Magnus was. He took advantage of him. I'm not gonna let this son of a bitch get away with it." he hissed upset and tried to squeeze past Cat. But Catarina grabbed him by the arm and held him tight when she said: "You need to settle down. What's the shadowhunter saying? - Emotions cloud judgment? - You loose your temper with Lorenzo, he'll have less incentive to help. Like it or not, Lorenzo Rey is Magnus only hope" she made clear to him.
On his way to Lorenzo's loft, Alec shook his head in disbelief. Had he really just thought that? He corrected the sentence in his mind. Magnus' Loft. He was on his way to Magnus' loft in Brooklyn that was stolen by this mucous guy Lorenzo Rey. Magnus hasn't woken up yet, so Alec had decided to ask Lorenzo to take back the magic he had given him. He was almost certain that this would also be Magnus' wish. Magnus' near death had shown Alec how precious time is. And he knew that he wanted to spend all his time also if only 10 years or even 60 years, with Magnus at his side. Nothing was more precious than the time with him. When Magnus agreed to his suggestion to move in together, Alec was the happiest person ever. There was only something that could make him happier. To make Magnus his forever. Put a ring on his finger and call him his husband. There were many reasons for this, but he also knew that there were some contras. He started to write a pro and contra list in his head:
PRO:
- It was a promise for eternity, a promise to be at his side forever
CONS:
- Magnus had just suffered some losses, his status symbol as High Warlock of Brooklyn was taken away from him and his loft, his home, was taken from him. These losses sparked a kind of identity crisis in him
I remember what it was like before Magnus. The time of uncertainty, fear and my own identity crisis. It was like my whole life was a lie, I was living a lie. It was before Jace, I had always known it. I'm not saying that I am different but in the eyes of others I am. All of us who don't fit into the over century formed norm are considered different. Growing up in a society that fears everything and everyone just because they don't understand it or know it differently and respond with hate is sad. The hate and fear that was directed against other races or against the preference of sexuality frightened me. I was afraid of this hate and took the safe side. The don't ask don't tell side of the shadowhunter culture. I preferred to be angry and unhappy than to deal with these feelings. On some days I feel ashamed not to have been brave enough before Magnus came into my life. To simply ignore the prejudices and discriminations and to stand by myself. But for shadowhunter - family, honour and tradition are written in capital letters. At least that's what they believe. And I certainly didn't want to be the first Shadowhunter in my family to destroy this supposed honor. Family is everything to me. Grown up in the institute under the enormous pressure of the council and my parents. I always did everything for my parents and for the council. My fater drilled in to me that I was never good enough. I always thought it was me, because they felt who I really was and wanted to suppress it. So I did the same and ignored my feelings. I was impure with myself and carried this anger inside me for years. I couldn't define exactly where it came from but I was always angry at everything and everyone. Not knowing who you are and not knowing where you belong is terrible. By the angel I'm so happy that I met Magnus.
"Maybe you should start living for yourself. Do what's in your heart" he had told me back then. I thought I would never be allwed, or to even find somoen to marry out of love and the only thing I could hope for would be a solid partnership with a woman. But here I am, in a happy relationship with the man I love above everything else. I will do everything in my power to lead him back to his identity as he helped me. So pack up your hatred and discrimination. I alone decide how my life goes on.
"Marriage is a wonderful institution, not that I would know." I hear Magnus' voice in my head.. We'll find out, my darling, we'll find out.
Alec circled the two reasons and tried to look at them from every angle. He was a man of tradition and honour and he always knew he wanted to get married one day. He just never would have thought that this wish could actually become reality with someone he loved with all his heart. But here he was and his boyfriend was Magnus Bane. He knew he would never love anyone as much as he loved Magnus. He also knew that a marriage is about being together for the rest of your life and that this same - a life long - was a different view for Magnus before. Magnus was no longer immortal and to ask for his hand now would painfully remind him of this loss. Alec wondered if it wouldn't be possible to ask Asmodeus to give Magnus back his real magic and thus his birthright, his immortality. What would be the price? For sure one that Alec can't pay at all. He sighed and began to walk faster. There was also the housing situation, he was at least able to fix. Cat had told him that Magnus had asked her for a real estate agent. But Magnus was in the infirmary and couldn't make it to that appointment today and Alec wouldn't leave his side for a house visit. The apartment could wait, but he was looking forward to starting this new phase of his life with Magnus. So it was 1 to 1 when he stood in front of the door of the loft and was about to knock, when it swung open and Mozart's symphony came towards him.
Lorenzo had already expected him, charming isn't? It's one of Mozart's lesser-known works, but certainly one of my favorites. You should have seen the look on Wolfgang's face when I told him what I really thought about his Mass in C minor," he bluffed to Alec. But Alec didn't have time for this small talk, they both knew that they would never be friends in this and possibly in any other life. "We need to talk" Alec said and tried to make his voice sound as calm and controlled as possible. "Hang on. This is the best part." He just wanted to provoke Alec, no they wouldn't even be friends in another dimension. Alec switched off the music to show him the urgency of his visit. "What can I do for you, Mr. Lightwood? he asks and takes a sip from his martini. "Magnus has fallen ill as a result of the magic you gave him" Alec told him. "I did warn your boyfriend of the risks involved. He assured me he could handle it" Lorenzo replied visibly unmoved. When he poured himself a second drink. "Well he can't. And I would appreciate if you would take the magic back." Alec said in a thoughtful tone. "Yes, I'm sure you would appreciate that. But he brought this upon himself. Not my fault the pompous old warlock falls by his own hubris." Lorenzo was amused by Magnus' pain and Alec knew that he had no intention of helping them. But why? "Why? Why do you hate him so much? he asked without understanding. "It's simple. All my life, I've had to sit by and watch while the world lavished praise on Magnus Bane. The prodigy. The High Warlock who could do no wrong." Lorenzo said bitterly. So that's it Alec thought, he was insecure and jealous. "Green isn't becoming on you, Lorenzo," he simply stated. "You have no idea how hard I've had to work for everything that I have" he hissed and put his glass down. Before he continued. "That man was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. His celebrity is not based on talent. It's nepotism. Alec felt the rage crawling up in him and with each of Lorenzo's words it was harder to suppress them. "Lorenzo, you're right about one thing. Magnus is beloved. And when word gets out that you wouldn't help him, purely out of jealousy, how would you think the other warlocks are gonna feel?" Alec said as he walked up to Lorenzo to underline the threat in his voice. But Lorenzo remained unimpressed and said: "I guess we'll find out, won't we?" The fuse in Alec's head blew, how could this cockroach even dare. He would have loved to go for Lorenzo. "You bastard. I swear, I will..." But Lorenzo interrupted him annoyed. "You'll what? he asked unimpressed and shot Alec with a clenched load of his magic towards the exit. "I believe we're done here. You can show yourself out." Alec knew that his last visit by Lorenzo was also part of Lorenzo's rage against Magnus. Anger, anger didn't get him any further, he had to convince Lorenzo at all costs. Magnus' life was at stake and he would beg on his knees if he had to.
"You've never been in love, have you?" Alec asked desperately. Lorenzo must have loved someone at least once in all those years. Alec had to remind him. "I'm over 300 years old. Of course I have. More times than I care to admit" Lorenzo said cool. Alec saw his chance and slowly walked towards Lorenzo again. "Well, for me, it's only one. Magnus," he said and looked at Lorenzo as he went on. "He is my world. And if he dies..." Alec sobbed, who now found it hard to keep his feelings under control. He didn't care if Lorenzo saw him that way, saw him the Head of the New York Institute so vulnerable. He didn't care if he ridiculed himself and he didn't care that he just revealed his greatest weakness. Alec raised his hand to a defensive position when he said, "Look, Lorenzo, he's no threat to you. Okay? He doesn't have his powers." His eyes filled with water and a tear ran down his face as he begged Lorenzo. "Just please... Please help him"
Alec left the loft with Lorenzo's word to help Magnus. A cool breeze blew in his face and dried his last tears. The heated conversation had given him two more points on his imaginary list. To show oneself so vulnerable to someone and to reveal oneself. Showing oneself as one in front of two different worlds, a unity that nothing and nobody could destroy.
PRO:
- Start a family, after all, there are many other options these days
CONS:
- The Clave doesn't like to see Shadowhunters and Downworlders getting married. It's not forbidden, but since The Clave is mainly interested in making more shadowhunters, it's a bit frowned upon to marry a warlock or a vampire, because they can't have children.
Even though deep inside I always knew that I was gay, I had always imagined a family with children. I could have imagined them with Lydia too, even though the thought of having sex with her made me freak out a little. Lydia is great but still a woman. Maybe the Clave would agree to an adoption for a Shadowhunter or a Downworlder baby? The Mundane couples have to be married as far as I know if they want to adopt... Would an adopted child even like me? With Madzie it's always wonderful and children love Magnus anyway. But maybe Madzie was a exception. Well they'll like at least one of us. So the biggest problem would be the Clave. For whom I'm already a thorn in their eyes, the gay head of the New York Institute, who is in a relationship with a Downworlder. So what, fuck that point. I really hope that Magnus also wants children. I think he's born to be a dad. He has so much patience and love to give. He has travelled so many countries and lived through so many decades, he would certainly have great good night stories. Him and I as parents, who could teach our children love and tolerance. To pass on our views and values and to show the world that there is another way. That diffrent doesn't mean weird or wrong, but that the world view is outdated and wrong. And it's on us to start change that.
The Clave always had such weird rules. In the past, Alec wouldn't have noticed the inconsistencies. He obeyed orders blindly without questioning them. But now, why did they make rules they disapproved anyway? And have they ever thought that two same-sex shadowhunters and downworlder would want to get married? Because Alec didn't know if that was possible at all. But he knew something else, no matter how, he and Magnus would one day start a family together. Alec had never asked Magnus if he wanted to have children, but somehow it was a logical step, wasn't it? Or was Alec once again too far with his thoughts and wishes? He was walking past a playground and saw all the Mundane mothers playing with their toddlers. A dream he had dreamed so many times, before meeting Magnus. Changing his children's nappies, teaching them to walk and fight and attending their first shadowhunter rune ceremony. All those things, those kitschy things he had wished for were not graspable before Magnus, but now. Now he suddenly had the chance to make all his dreams become real, with the man of his dreams. And before any of this could come true, Magnus had to wake up. He increased his pace again because he wanted to be the first thing for Magnus to see when he opened his eyes.
Alec was sitting on the uncomfortable chair in the institute again, his butt was slowly strating to hurt but he didn't care. He saw Magnus' eyelashes start to twitch. "Magnus, can you hear me" Alec asks. Magnus blinks and slowly opens his eyes. "There you are. Hey," Alec said pleased. Magnus is still a little confused and Alec gently turns his head with his two fingers in his direction. Magnus chuckles when he sees Alec. "There you are" Magnus repeats and pats gently and awkwardly Alec's cheeks. "Yeah" Alec replies smiling. "What happened?" Magnus asked, still slightly dazed. Alec tried to explain it to him as simple and gently as possible. "Oh, well you got very sick. But everything's gonna be okay." Magnus tried to sit up and Alec got up quickly to help him. Just hold on. Here, let me get that for you." Alec said lovingly. Magnus tried to play the whole situation down again when he joked: "Oh I could get used to this type of treatment. Oh but definitely not to this wardrobe." Alec realized that Magnus wasn't aware of how serious the whole thing was. "Right. Let me get you a change of clothes" he said and wanted to get going. "No, no need" Magnus said and raised his hand to use his magic. "No!" Alec screamed full of panic and healed Magnus' hand so that he couldn't use his magic. "Alexander, what..." Magnus began irritated as his gaze wandered to the door and he noticed Lorenzo. "What's he doing here?" he asked even more astonished. Alec took a deep breath to explain everything to Magnus: "Using Lorenzo's magic is what got you sick. Catarina says that if you use the magic again, even a little bit, it could go horribly wrong. The only way for you to get better is for Lorenzo to take the magic away." He looked away at Magnus and hoped to see an understanding for all this in his eyes but Magnus only replied: "Oh. No, Caterina's just being overly cautious. Trust me, I feel fine." Alec should have known it. Of course, Magnus wasn't aware of how narrowly he escaped death. He had to tell him everything. "No. can we just get a minute, please?" he said and looked at Lorenzo, who had only observed the whole situation pitifully. "No! I'm not getting rid of my magic. Magnus screamed angrily. Why was he so stubborn? Alec had to make him understand how dangerous it was to leave the magic in his body. He didn't want his nightmare to suddenly become reality.
Magnus got up angrily and went for his clothes himself, he stood demonstratively with his back to Alec. But Alec just stood quietly next to him and waited until he had dressed before telling him exactly what had happened. He wasn't sure if Magnus was just pretending he didn't realize how dangerous this magic was for him. "Magnus, you stopped breathing." Alec began. "Your heart stopped. I thought you were gone." Magnus's anger vanished slowly. He hadn't know it had been so bad. "I'm so sorry for scaring you. I was clearly adjusting to Lorenzo's magic and I must have overextended myself." He turned to Alec with a smile to show him he was serious: "I promise, I'll be more careful from now on," he said before returning his attention to his shirt. "It doesn't matter how careful you are. As long as you have Lorenzo's magic, you'll be living with an axe over your head" Alec contradicted. What was wrong with Magnus? "Oh, could you stop being so morbid?" Magnus said when he turned back to Alec. The two men clearly talked past each other. "Look, I know how important magic is to you, but is it really worth dying for it?" Alec tried again. But Magnus didn't answer. "Magnus, answer me." Alec asked again with insistence and full of fear of the answer. Magnus said "Maybe" without turning around and Alec was stunned. "How can you even say that? Alec asked. Magnus now looked at him again and Alec saw the anger, the self-hatred and the fear in his eyes when he said: "I'm nothing without my magic. "You fell in love with Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Can you honestly say you don't feel differently about me?
Look at me! Can you honestly say you like this?" he asked in disbelief and disgust as he pointed to his body. Alec was slowly getting desperate, he had to convince Magnus that he loved him even without his magic. "Yes. Your powers were incredible, but that's not why I felt in love with you. I..I..fell in love with you because you're wise a..and you're generous and you're brave and you're incredible" Alec stammered. The feelings overcame him, why couldn't Magnus see it? Why didn't he see how unbelievable he was? Alec continued: "I just... When you walk into a room, there's a spark in you, magic or not, th..tha..that lights up everything and everyone around you. "A..aaa..and... Hey!" he grabbed Magnus by the arm who was about to turn away. Alec didn't know what to say anymore. He only knew one thing he couldn't live without Magnus! When Magnus looked at him again Alec said desperately the last thing he still knew: "I won't lose you. I can't." The room was tense and they just looked at each other. And finally Alec saw it in Magnus' eyes. He got through to Magnus.
When Lorenzo left the room after the withdrawal of the magic, of course not without clarifying that he would keep the loft. Alec noted down his last two pros and cons.
PRO:
- I love him
CONS:
- Magnus would rather die than live without his magic
The last two reasons he noted down were the ones that weighed most heavily on him. So he sorted the list in his head again and prioritized these last two reasons. He loved Magnus more than anything else there was no doubt. But Magnus wasn't sure if he could live on without his magic or if he wanted to. Alec hears the echo of his words in his head, again and again: "I am nothing without my magic."
Yet I don't understand it. I thought I understood it, how dependent Magnus is on his magic. That I understand his pain. But I'm not a warlock and no matter how hard I try I will never fully understand what Magnus is going through. I keep trying to compare it with the Parabatai bond of me and Jace. If Jace died in a fight, I would feel incomplete and like a stanger a nobody without this bond. A part of me would die and be lost forever. And yet I would never prefer my own death than a life with Magnus. At least I hoped that this thought was true.
This thought ignited the little hope he needed. The hope that Magnus didn't mean it as seriously as he had said it before. That deep down inside his love for Alec was stronger. So it was 3 to 3, equal. No matter how often he went through the list he came to a single decision.
PRO:
- I love him
- It was a promise for eternity, a promise to be at his side forever
Start a family, after all, there are many other options these days
CONS:
- Magnus would rather die than live without his magic
- Magnus had just suffered some losses, his status symbol as High Warlock of Brooklyn was taken away from him and his loft, his home, was taken from him. These losses sparked a kind of identity crisis in him
- The Clave doesn't like to see Shadowhunters and Downworlders getting married. It's not forbidden, but since The Clave is mainly interested in making more shadowhunters, it's a bit frowned upon to marry a warlock or a vampire, because they can't have children
It didn't matter what was on the contra side of his list, as long as his love for Magnus was at the top of the pro side. He loved Magnus and that outdid all other reasons."I have everything I need, right here." Magnus had said it aptly. And this one reason was the most important one. And therefore he, Alexander Gideon Lightwood would ask Magnus Bane to marry him.
Alec looked through the window of the small library his mother had bought and took a deep breath. On the way there two pros and contras came to his mind. He didn't put them on the list because his decision had already been made but they were still haunting around in his head.
PRO:
- He'd have my last name, Magnus Lightwood-Bane
CONS:
- He could say no, and I would completely embarrass myself
I think everyone is a bit afraid of this scenario when planning a proposal. Even though I know that Magnus loves me, there is a risk that he will reject my proposal. It could be one of my reasons on the contra column or a completely different one and I think I wouldn't only be sad but it would also be really embarrassing for me. Embarrassing because I'm so impatient, but who doesn't dare doesn't win. And therefore I won't initiate everybody in what I intend to do and try to plan the whole thing in a small scale if not even alone. Hiding it from Jace will probably be the hardest, as he will feel my nervousness for sure, so if he asks me I'll just tell him. Maybe for once he even has a good tip for me. Or could tell me if Alec Bane sounds silly?
Alec opens the door and enters the book store. "Hi" he said and walks to greet his mother. Maryse turns to him and smiles as she greets him: "Alec. What a nice surprise! The two embrace and Alec looks around as he says, "I thought I'd actually stop by and see the place." "Im proud of you." Most of the shelves were already dusty and the books had been rearranged. "Thanks. It's really coming together, isn't it? Maryse said radiantly. Alec was a bit nervous and answered with a question. "There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about." he burst out. Maryse looked at him uncertainly and tried to interpret his face. "What is it?" she asked, worried. The two sat down when Alec began to tell her: "Uhm..Magnus had a little health scare." Maryse was shocked but Alec spoke quickly. "He's okay, everything's fine, but when it happened, it made me realize how much he means to me, and I.. I.. can't live without him." This sentence made his mother overjoyed. She was so happy that her son found someone who loved him heart and soul just as much as he loved him. What could make a mother happier? "That's what love is" she said with a smile. Alec chuckles. "I'm so happy you two found each other." she said. "Me too." Alec said sheepishly. The question burned on his tongue as he slowly began.
"And I need the family ring." he said and looked at her insistently. Maryse stared back not sure if her son really intended what she was thinking he was intended to say. "I'm gonna ask Magnus to marry me." Alec said after a break and Maryse chuchles overwhelmed. Yes she had thought right. She couldn't believe it and jumped up to pull her son into an intimate embrace. Her son is actually getting married!
#shadowhunters#the mortal instruments#malec#Alec Lightwood#Magnus Bane#Magnus x Alec#stay with me#I am nothing without my magic!#i need the family ring#shtv#shadowhunter spoilers#nephilimdaily
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HOGWARTS MALEC [Series | T | 16k | 2 Works | Complete] by Thealmostrhetoricalquestion @thealmostrhetoricalquestion
something wicked this way comes:
Magnus Bane, the guy Alec's had an embarrassing crush on for about six years, is swearing at a book that sits just out of reach.
Magnus Bane, the guy who doesn't know that Alec exists.
Until now, apparently.
toil and trouble
“There’s a Hogsmeade weekend coming up,” Alec suggests quietly. “If you can cope with study dates and Quidditch practice until then, we could have our first real date in Hogsmeade.”
Magnus’ answering smile is so bright and so beautiful that Alec actually feels a little dazed, like someone whacked him over the head with a cauldron whilst he wasn't looking, or aimed a bludger at his face.
“Provided we don’t kiss in the middle of the village in front of everyone we know,” Alec adds.
Magnus fakes a sigh. “Well, that’s my plans scuppered."
KISS THE TEACHER [T | 2.3k | 1 chapter | Complete] by Astoria Gracewell @arh581958
Rainy days makes for lazy mornings. Magnus tries, and fails, to bribe his boyfriend to take a day off work. Being the sweetheart that he is, he offers to make-up for lost time by giving a nearly-tardy Alec a ride to work.
(Or: This is what happens when Alec's students catch him kissing Magnus in the entryway.)
IN THE GOLDEN HOUR [Not Rated | 26.2k | 2 chapters | Complete] by aleclove @aleclove
"If I were there right now, what would you do?"
It’s a silly thing, really. The first few times it was said aloud Alec couldn’t fight the rush of heat to his cheeks; couldn’t keep himself from stuttering out a reply and trying to change the topic. Now, though, it’s become something else, taking on a life of its’ own until it became central to what he and Magnus share. Maybe the question is hypothetical in nature, but when Magnus is telling Alec how badly he wants to kiss him? It doesn’t feel that way. In fact, for a few precious minutes, Alec doesn’t feel the distance at all.
//
Or, the one where Magnus is in London, Alec is in Brooklyn, and Izzy hates the Atlantic Ocean more than both of them combined.
YOUTUBER!MAGNUS [Series | Not Rated | 3k | 3 works | Not Completed] by iwillstayalive @iknowesurefire
the boyfriend tag
Magnus is a youtuber who does the "boyfriend does my makeup" tag with Alec.
the actual boyfriend tag
youtuber magnus does the actual boyfriend tag with alec.
video: couples roast
no summary
PACKED MY BAGS PACKED YOU TOO [E | 53.3k | 18 chapters | Complete] by Quite_Magical
When Alec Lightwood told his family he was gay, They tossed him onto the streets. In the midst of wanting to drink his sorrows, he met Ragnor, his girlfriend Catarina, and Magnus Bane.
When a proposition from Alec's late uncle came into his life, Alec must decide if he wants to play and find a husband quickly, or let all his uncles money go to his unforgiving father, Robert.
Magnus, the well-known owner of a food centric YouTube channel, worked at his friends bar. He didn't have enough money to travel the world to learn and taste different foods like he wanted, and he certainly didn't have enough money to build his own restaurant.
When Magnus wins a trip around Europe for 6 months, he'll finally be able to live out most of his dreams. Now, he just had to decide if he wanted to take Alec as a friend... or his husband.
PARDON THE INTERRUPTION [T | 6.3k | 1 chapter | Complete] by Obsessivecompulsivereadr
But one thing they could never seem to fix was how often they got interrupted whenever they did have time to spend together. It seemed as if no one in the entire shadow world could function without dragging Magnus and Alec into their problems.
So that’s what this vacation had been about, three weeks away, just the two of them.
IT STARTED WITH A WEDDING [Series | E | 21k | 5 works | Not Completed] by k_lynn
In Another Life:
Alec is an ex-Marine Captain, recently returned from overseas to take over his parent's company, struggling to adjust to life as a civilian once more. Magnus is a fashion designer who has many better things he could do with his weekend. They both attend the same wedding, and they're both very pleased about it later.
Odd Hours
Magnus sighs, “Drill sergeant,” he complains.
Alec laughs. “That’s Army. It’s drill instructor in the Marines and I never was one.”
“You should have been.”
Magnus has a late night at work and Alec worries.
A United Front
“We can start a club,” Simon says brightly. "We’ll call it the ‘People Who Aren’t Good Enough for Maryse Lightwood’s Children’ Club. Magnus can be President.”
A Lightwood family dinner. It’s going to be interesting.
It Started With a Wedding 1.5
A collection of short one shots from my It Started With a Wedding AU series that didn't make it into any of the other parts.
In the Spirit of Competition
Alec stares pensively into his beer. “You don't think it's too soon?”
Jace scoffs, “Are you kidding me? Alec, bro, you went from zero to ‘I want his adopted babies’ after like a month. Honestly I'm surprised it's taken you this long.”
Magnus and Alec finally manage to find the time to take a whole five days for a vacation. A question gets asked. I think you can guess which one.
SET ME IN MOTION [M | 11k | 17/20 chapters | Not Completed] by lemonoclefox @lemonoclefox
“Is that your way of asking me to cook for you sometime?” Alec says. “'Cause I will.”
The moment the words escape his mouth, Alec finds himself slightly panicking. Because he does not talk like that, ever―in a way that might even be considered flirting―and he still doesn’t understand what it is about Magnus that brings stuff like that out of him. More importantly, he has a boyfriend.
Magnus, however, just looks mildly surprised as their eyes meet.
“My, my. Master chef, good family name, and charming?” Magnus tilts his head ever so slightly. “Careful, Mr. Lightwood,” he says in a low, teasing voice, mouth curving up in a smile. “You’re gonna make me swoon.”
---
One night, Magnus spots a handsome stranger in the elevator of his apartment building – which wouldn’t be a big deal if said stranger didn’t turn out to be dating Magnus’s neighbor. The stranger soon becomes Alec, and their paths end up crossing more than once. A tentative friendship develops as they slowly get to know each other, and they both find that it’s effortless in a way neither of them has ever known. It's only when other kinds of feelings start getting involved that things become a bit more complicated.
EARLIER HEAVEN [T | 6.3k | 1 chapter | Complete] by coziness @alecfancywood
He sat and watched his family, the ones who owned his heart, and the ones that he would protect and be there for forever.
or. Immortal dads and the happenstances of their growing Warlock daughter.
PICKING UP THE PIECES [T | 5.8k | 1 chapter | Complete] by lilyhearted
Malec zombie AU for alineppenhallow!
They've made a life for themselves, after the world fell apart.
Contains: Malec being an awesome battle couple but also managing to be domestic as hell.
#malec#malec fic rec#malec fanfic rec#shadowhunters#sh fanfic#malec fic#yeah idk how to tag#my gif#m#this is for the anon that asked for some fic recs#request#kindaaa
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Part 3/3: The promise
After you explained everything to him, he pulls you in for another hug. “You’re not going to lose me, Y/N.” He ensures you.
You pull back and look at him. You can’t believe he just said that. “How can you say that, Jace. You can’t control fate.” You say looking him into the eye.
He smiles and holds your cheek in his big warm hand. “I can assure you, because there is nothing in this world that could keep me away from you.” He pauses. With his thumb he wipes away the tear rolling out of your eye. “Y/N, promise me that you won’t do anything stupid for me. Because I don’t know what I would do without you.” He frowns as if he just realises something. Then he looks back up to you. “You’ve been there when I had my first heartbreak, when I got sick, had my back when I got in another stupid fight and you were always at my side when I got into trouble. I always thought you were my family, but Alex hasn’t been there for me like you have been. Neither has izzy.” He takes your hand. “Y/N, I guess I better stop talking.” He smiles a smile between his flirtatious one and the one he always gives you when you got a secret together. He leans in and his lips touch yours.
This whole time you’ve been frozen, not knowing what to do or to say. But after you felt his lips, you kissed him back slowly. It was like the kiss broke the spell of a frozen statue, if this was a fairy tale.
You feel his tear fall on your cheek. Smiling you break away from the kiss and dry his cheek.
“It took you too long to figure it out.” You say, shaking your head. “Finally you understand how stupid those fights were.” You give him a teasing smile.
“You’re bad.” He replies. He expected that you meant he took too long figuring out his feelings for you, but you just couldn’t help teasing him. And that’s what he loves about you and again he kisses you. This time more passionately. As your lips quickly move across one another his hand brushes your hair out your face. “This is real. You and me. Here and now.” He pulls back and the both of you lie next to each other next to the fire.
“You don’t really think it was your mother, do you?” You ask in a husked voice.
“I don’t know, but I think the answer is around here somewhere. It’s just another puzzle piece.” Jace answers, sounding older than he actually is.
“I just don’t get what Luke has to do with your parents.” You continue.
“Why don’t we gather everything and take it to Luke.” Jace suggests. “You suppose he will answer truthfully?”
You nod. “Luke will help.” You sit up. Jace grabs your arm. “I thought that maybe we could leave tomorrow.” He says. You smile and lie back down. It feels weird lying next to someone you’ve known your whole life and suddenly the way you look at each other has changed. Everything has changed. You lie on your side resting your head on his chest. His arm is wrapped around you and you can’t imagine feeling better than you do now. In front of the fire you fall asleep.
“You’re really putting me in a though place.” Luke looks up at you. You gave him the picture Jace found in the cabin that shows Luke on it. Jace is waiting outside, because you wanted to talk to Luke first, alone. “He wants to know, Luke.” You say pleading. “He needs to know.”
Luke shakes his head at your actions, but doesn’t say anything.
“If that boy isn’t in an identity crisis, I don’t know anymore.” Maya says. You hadn’t noticed her before, sitting in one of the booths at the diner. Even though you don’t really appreciate her choice of words and praising, you do agree with her point. Jace really doesn’t know where he comes from, and at first believing he was Valentine’s son he truly believed he was evil. He needs to know his roots.
“Please, Luke.” You give him your puppy eyes and know this is the last you can say on the subject.
Luke sighs and you know you’ve won him over.
“Ask him to come over tonight.” Luke says.
“Erm, he is actually already outside.” You say uncomfortable.
Again Luke sighs, but represses a smile at the same time. He nods and you go outside to get Jace. When you get outside you don’t see Jace right away, but he surprises you from behind. You let out a playful shriek and turn around looking at the broad smile on his face. He gives you a quick kiss. “Thank you for doing this for me.” He says.
You raise an eyebrow. “Since when did you start thanking me?” You tease him, frowning as if your trying to recall such moments.
“You’re on dangerous ground miss.” Jace warns you and playfully pushes you inside the diner. Luke is sitting in one of the booths and gestures you to sit with him. “Thanks Luke.” Jace says as he slide on the couch to make room for you. Indecisive you stand at tables end. Jace looks up at you. “Aren’t you sitting next to me, Y/N?” He asks confused.
“I don’t know if I should.” You reply, revealing your doubts.
“There can’t be anything I wouldn’t want to share with you.” He says and pats the empty spot next to him. “So, sit.” Feeling more comfortable you sit down next to him. Feeling his hand over your hand under the table.
Luke looks at us searchingly. “What is going on between the two of you?” He ask his eyes squinting a little.
You look at Jace smiling and frowning you look back at Luke. “Why? Everything is perfectly normal.”
“Y/N, quit teasing the poor man.” Jace says smiling at your playful behaviour. “Let’s say that I found something more than just these files.” Jace tells Luke.
A smile flickers across Luke’s face. Luke starts telling you about Jace’s parents. Jace his father was in love with Amatis Graymark, Luke’s sister first. Both Stephan Herondale and Luke were friends with Valentine. Valentine didn’t see Amatis as a fit wife for Stephen so he had to leave her. He got Celine in return and when she was pregnant with Jace Valentine killed Stephen. He set him up, which got him killed. They say that Celine was so torn up that she killed herself and that Valentine cut the unborn baby out of her, but the opinions on this matter are divided. Nothing can really be proved and it’s all just speculation.
You left Luke after thanking him for telling this hard story and walked all the way back to the institute. “How do you feel?” You ask Jace carefully.
“It’s a lot to take in, but I feel relieved.” He says. “I finally know who I am.”
You grab his arm and stop walking. “I’ve never needed to know where you came from to know who you are. I’ve always known who you are, Jace. You’re a cocky, strong, funny, caring and a good leader, who maybe has the right to be as cocky as he is. You have a good heart, and I never doubted that for even one second.” Every word you say is spoken from the heart.
He cups your face with his hands and looks you into your eyes. “Y/N, I love you to pieces, but your words would never be enough to silence that feeling inside of me.”
His words kind of hurt, but you do understand what he is trying to say. You take his hand and continue walking. “From this point on everything can only get better.” You tell him.
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Yours is the light
This fic reads a little bit differently. It doesn’t have a lot of dialogue and some parts of it may seem packed with information. That’s because it started as an ‘extended headcanon post’ sort of thing and then got away from me (and by now this shouldn't surprise anyone who knows me).
It’s my take on the ‘alpha/beta/omega’ universe. But I decided to give it a twist and take some of the A/B/O stereotypes and turn them on their collective heads.
In other words, this is actually as different from the A/B/O trope as I could make it and still get away with calling is an A/B/O fic.
Beta-read by RomanceShipper
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
yours is the light by which my spirit’s born:
yours is the darkness of my soul’s return
you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars
― E.E. Cummings
The first time Alec questioned his status was when he was ten years old.
Up until that point, he never even had a reason to think about secondary genders and what the consequences of being an alpha, beta, or omega were. He was just a kid. He had no use for the adult stuff when there were so many other more important and interesting things to learn, things like runes and archery and the history of Nephilim.
Then the whole debacle with Preston happened. He thought that everyone would be happy with him for adapting, and finally finding a way to beat the boy at kendo practice, despite Preston being nearly two years older than him. He listened to his mother’s advice and went against his training. Preston’s nose cracked under his shinai as a result.
Preston himself didn’t react badly - other than being embarrassed that the younger kid, whom he used to beat regularly, suddenly managed to kick his ass instead - but oh, Preston’s mother went ballistic. Alec remembered how she shouted at Maryse. She insisted that Alec should be put in his place like ‘the filthy little omega he reeked of’ and that he should be punished for insubordination and hurting her alpha son.
Alec also remembered how Maryse growled at the other woman. There was some vicious exchange of words that he couldn’t hear before Preston’s mother all but ran from the training room with the metaphorical tail between her legs.
Later that evening, when Alec was done cleaning all the weapons in the Institute, as a part of his punishment for going against Hodge’s training (a job he didn’t really mind that much), he asked Maryse about what Preston’s mother had said. Maryse sat him down on his bed and explained to him how the secondary genders worked. She told him about alphas and their dominant personalities. About betas and their hard work and neutrality that helped to keep society balanced.
And she told him about omegas. How they were incredibly rare, especially among boys. How they could carry children if they wanted and how every alpha would be lucky to have them as a partner. She told him that omegas were smart and had sharp, tactical minds, and were born leaders. She told him that nearly every great figure in the history of mankind was a confirmed omega. Alexander the Great or Julius Caesar or Napoleon Bonaparte, to name a few.
Alec didn’t understand why Preston’s mother was so upset with him and in turn, Maryse explained pheromones. How Alec already smelled slightly of omega and that he would probably present soon. Preston’s mother was the type of person who was envious of the gifts that omegas were blessed with.
“There will be people in your life who will treat you like you’re worth less than them, just because of your status,” she told him. “But there will be just as many people who will cherish you for what you are.”
Maryse told Alec, again and again, that what he did with his life was his choice and his alone. He didn’t have to put up with anyone who didn’t respect him if he didn’t want to. The world would be his for the taking. As long as he was dutiful to the Clave and the nephilim’s sacred mission, he could be anyone he wanted to be. The Head of the Institute. The Inquisitor. The Consul. No one would be able to stop him if he truly wished to become a great leader.
Alec could still remember the genuinely proud look in Maryse’s eyes when he presented as an omega a little over a year later.
The life of an omega wasn’t any different than the life of an alpha or a beta.
Ever since presenting, Alec was prescribed heat-blocking shots, just like the alphas. Since he presented so early, he wasn’t allowed to go through a heat until he was fourteen. Only then did the doctor’s at the Institute switch him over to the regular blockers that lasted about six months, allowing a heat to happen twice a year to keep his body healthy.
Heats were a nuisance for Alec. He had to isolate himself from all alphas - except for his parents - and Izzy, who was a beta. Alec always spent his heats away in their house in Alicante for two long, uncomfortable days during which his temperature spiked and he felt like his entire body was itching. Thankfully, as long as there were no alphas around to trigger him further, that was pretty much it. There were no inconvenient erections, no rush of hormones that made him impossibly horny (no more than was normal for a teenager, anyway), and no spontaneous leaking; that particular thought left him mortified. No, all of those things would happen only with a compatible alpha, and Alec had never shared a heat with anyone.
He even had to stay away from Jace, who presented as an alpha just a year after him. He couldn’t risk it. Jace was his brother in every way but blood, but apparently it was the blood that made the difference. His feelings for Jace made everything worse since he was sure that his parabatai would trigger his heat so fast it would make his head spin.
It wasn’t exactly a secret that out of all three secondary genders, it was the alphas who were the strongest, the most aggressive, the most territorial. It was well-known.
It was also completely wrong.
Because of the rarity of omegas, people believed that they were either submissive or neutral, like betas. Not many people were educated on how dangerous a threatened omega could be. Those that were educated?
Their knowledge often came from a personal experience.
The group of boys who cornered Alec in an isolated part of the Institute had the brilliant idea of putting the resident omega on his knees, to see if he would ‘get wet for them like the bitch that he was’. There were five of them. Alec had just hit a growth spurt not so long ago, but he was still only sixteen and they were all older and bigger than him. He didn’t have any weapons on him and was severely outnumbered.
Alec didn’t know he would need weapons in his own home. He had not experienced this kind of behavior before, this kind of degradation and aggression, aimed at him just because of his status as an omega. Polite disinterest was the worst thing that ever happened, not that he minded. It was better than the curious, interested looks he had been receiving for the past couple of months. Izzy had joked about it. She told Alec that it was because he was turning from an ‘awkward turtle into a beautiful swan’, whatever the hell that meant. Alec always rolled his eyes at her, but maybe even that joke had some truth to it. Was that why he was getting harassed now?
It didn’t matter.
The corner of Alec’s lip twitched in an imitation of a smirk, all sharp teeth and disdain. He was not going to give them what they wanted.
When other shadowhunters came running moments later, alarmed by the sounds of fighting, Alec had a broken rib and a black eye, but the five guys were on the ground either unconscious or moaning in pain, all of them looking far worse than Alec. One of them was missing half of his right ear. When Maryse arrived at the scene, Alec greeted her with a red-tinted grin. The blood running down his lips and chin was not his own.
Calming an omega down from a feral episode was not easy, but Maryse was the only alpha Alec yielded to. She coaxed him out of the corner, where he stood to ensure no one attacked his vulnerable back. She led him to the infirmary, where she held an ice pack to his ribs and drew a fresh iratze on his skin.
“I’m so incredibly proud of you, my sweet boy,” Maryse whispered into his hair as he hid his face in the crook of her neck, taking shallow breaths and fighting against the pain that came as the adrenaline rush ebbed away. The red haze of the anger-fight-survive instincts that clouded his mind was receding, chased away by his mother’s tender words and the familiar scent of her perfume. “I’m so proud of how well you fought and how you protected yourself.”
Alec never saw those boys again. He was sure Maryse put the fear of the Angel in them and made them transfer away from New York as soon as they could walk again.
As a general rule, Alec tended to be wary whenever an alpha warlock showed even a little bit of interest in him.
It was a given fact that warlocks were infertile, but what many didn’t realize is that it wasn’t completely true. It wasn’t common, but a male alpha warlock could father a child with an omega female or male, but only of different species, like a Seelie or a werewolf.
Or a Nephilim.
Alec wasn’t aware of this fact until he ran point on a mission to capture and arrest Iris Rouse, a notorious dark magic user. She managed to flee before they got to her, but she escaped in a hurry, leaving her experiments behind.
Her hideout was a thing of nightmares.
Rooms were filled with brainwashed omegas - Seelies, wolves, and even mundanes - some of them in late stages of pregnancy. The entire building reeked of dark magic, misery, and pain. As soon as Alec entered those blasted rooms, he knew that none of the omegas were there of their own free will.
At first, Alec didn’t understand how it was possible. Omegas who went through extreme trauma - physical or emotional - couldn’t conceive. Fertility during heats required a deep emotional bond between partners, and that sure as hell couldn’t happen in that horrific breeding house.
Later, much later, Izzy came to him with lab results. Through the combination of magic, potions, and drugs Iris managed to brainwash her victims into a state similar to heat and even imitated a bond between mated pairs, making sure that the omega’s body didn’t fight the unwanted pregnancy.
She had been kidnapping omegas for months. She had been renting them out like broodmares to alpha warlocks and demons, to create more warlocks. She had done all of this under his nose, in his city. Alec made a promise to himself, and to the rescued omegas and their unborn children, that he would find Iris Rouse and make her pay.
When Clary Fray entered their lives - along with her beta friend, Simon - she brought chaos with her to an extent that he really did not appreciate. She refused to play by the rules. She did whatever the hell she wanted and somehow seemed to pull everyone into her quest to find her mother.
Jace became enamored with her almost immediately, which only added insult to injury. Clary was an alpha, just like Jace, but that didn’t mean much. These days it didn’t matter what your secondary gender was, you could date whoever you wanted. Heck, even his parents were an alpha pair, which wasn’t something that would have happened forty or fifty years ago.
Clary didn’t know how to act around omegas. Alec very much enjoyed putting her in her place after the first time she tried to order and intimidate him, under the utterly foolish impression that he would yield to her.
Alec had never yielded to anyone but his mother in his entire life. Even the Clave officials have never seen a submission from him, only polite manners and professionalism that he used with everyone.
But then...then Clary led them to Magnus Bane.
All the silly romance movies Izzy had made him watch could not have prepared him for the lightning that struck when he saw Magnus clearly for the first time, after fighting those Circle members together.
He felt numb and buzzed with restless energy at the same time, as if he had an electric current pulsing underneath his skin. The apartment smelled of battle and blood and magic, but beneath that Alec could detect other, subtler scents. Something wild and primal that he couldn’t describe. It smelled like the air after a thunderstorm, like ozone and wet dirt. Like cedar and rosemary and woodsmoke, all wrapped up in one alluring package.
“I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced,” Magnus said to him, and Alec forgot how to breathe. He could only stare at the most gorgeous man - an alpha - he had seen in his life. He barely managed to choke out his own name. He was torn between the desperate need to stay, to keep the warlock in his sight, and the need to run away and hide in the embarrassed of his own incoherent mumbling.
But of course, everything went to shit quickly when he screwed up during the summoning of the memory demon. Magnus tried to comfort him afterward, saying that he had nothing to be ashamed of. His voice was low and it sent a shiver down Alec’s spine. He could still remember the jolt of energy that jumped between their hands as they’d touched for the first time, just moments before. Alec could still feel it buzzing underneath his skin, like a phantom caress of invisible fingers. From the look Magnus was giving him, Alec was sure the alpha felt it too.
He agreed to go out on a date.
Alec still didn’t know what possessed him to say yes. Maybe it was the way Magnus trembled in his arms while Alec held him up and shared his strength as he healed Luke. Maybe it was the vulnerable look Magnus gave him afterward. Or maybe it was the fact that Magnus had seen him as an equal, someone worthy of asking for help.
Alec didn’t understand it. Never in his life had he felt this kind of attraction to anyone, ever. It was like some stupid, primal part of him woke up and reared its head every time Magnus appeared in his sights. Like the part that made him an omega suddenly longed for an alpha like it never did before.
He didn’t like it.
He wasn’t ashamed of being an omega, no matter how some people resented him for his secondary gender. But he didn’t like to feel as if he was missing something. He didn’t like to feel incomplete without an alpha to fill that empty space inside of him.
And yet, whenever he was near Magnus or heard his voice, his heart resonated with such intense longing that it made his breath catch.
So Alec did the only thing he knew he could do. He talked to his mother.
He didn’t tell her that it was a warlock who caused such a strong reaction in him. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what his mother thought of Downworlders. He told her about the conflicting feelings, about the sudden yearning he couldn’t explain. He wasn’t afraid of telling her that the alpha who made him feel that way was a man. Thankfully, the gender of your mate wasn’t an issue when you were an omega capable of carrying children either way.
“Oh, Alec,” Maryse sighed as she raised her hand and touched his cheek gently as they sat together on the couch in her office, “it sounds to me like you found your mate.”
And wasn’t that a terrifying prospect.
“Just like that? I don’t even know him. I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with him?”
Which wasn’t entirely true, Alec knew. There was no such thing as fated pairs, even though the romance flicks liked to overuse the trope. Each person had many possibilities of mates they could meet at any point in their lives. Furthermore, all relationships required work and patience, not just fate. Finding a possible mate did not mean that Alec had to tie himself to them indefinitely. People fall in and out of love all the time, and mating did not have to mean life-long commitment. Mating bonds could be broken and forged anew with different people at any given time.
“You’re not supposed to do anything but find out if he’s your match,” Maryse told him fiercely. “No one can force you to do anything you don’t want to do. This is your life, Alec, and only you can decide what makes you happy.”
And so he did.
They went on dates.
Alec was apprehensive at first. Magnus was an alpha warlock, and that always lit up a warning light in him due to the Iris Rouse case, which was still open. What could Magnus - beautiful, powerful Magnus - want with a plain, boring shadowhunter like himself? The fact that he was an omega had to play some important part in all of this. The fact that he could carry children for a warlock had to mean something.
And yet, during the dates they went on he couldn’t help but find himself falling more and more for Magnus. The alpha was a perfect gentleman, not pushing him any further than he was comfortable with, and always careful of not invading Alec’s personal space.
“I lived in times where an omega was considered property of an alpha,” Magnus told him one evening, “and I think it was one of the darkest parts of history. If I ever start acting like a caveman, feel free to shoot me full of arrows.”
It was a little over a month of dating - that no one except for Izzy and Jace knew about - that he kissed Magnus for the first time.
They were saying goodbye after a date night, which started at a Greek restaurant and ended with drinks at Magnus’ place. Magnus was just about to open a portal that would take Alec back to the Institute when Alec gently grasped his elbow, backed Magnus against a wall and kissed him. It was not fast and sudden. No, he had given Magnus enough time to stop him, but the warlock merely tilted his head up into the kiss.
It was Alec’s first kiss. It started out a little hesitantly, a little clumsily, and very much without finesse, but what he lacked in experience he made up in enthusiasm. His body was crowding Magnus’ against the wall, which the alpha didn’t mind much, at first. Then he pulled Alec close by circling his waist, bit gently at Alec’s lower lip and took over the kiss, dominating it completely and utterly. Alec all but melted against him and the empty, burning void inside of him started aching a little less.
Alec chose to spend his next heat in Alicante once more, not ready to share a heat with Magnus when they still had not even seen each other naked. It was rougher than usual, if only because his mind kept circling back to Magnus over and over again, making him more aroused than he was comfortable with. He was insanely grateful that heats spent in isolation lasted only two days.
He hoped that by the time his next heat came, in another six months, he would be ready to share it with Magnus.
“A warlock, Alec? Really?!”
His mother’s voice was loud and somewhat shrill, the disbelief ringing clear across every word. It grated on his nerves, made his hackles rise and buzz underneath his skin like an itch he could not scratch.
Lately, everything he did was met with some kind of disapproval, but he didn’t have time for this. Hodge had betrayed them. Jace was missing and still in Valentine’s grasp. And, while his parents played politics in Idris, trying to smooth things out with the Clave, Alec had been desperately trying to get his parabatai back.
Then, of course, things had to get worse. Maryse came back to New York two days prior and someone had already reported to her that Alec and Magnus had been dating for months. How they found out, Alec had no idea. Although, it was bound to be revealed sooner or later, especially since Alec did not intend to let Magnus go anytime soon.
“You know how alpha warlocks are,” Maryse hissed, venom dripping from her words, “they only want one thing from omegas like you! You can give them something they otherwise can’t have and I can’t believe you would fall for Bane’s deception. You’re going to drag the Lightwood name through the mud for him?”
“There isn’t a lot of good reputation to our name left, Mother, and that is your fault, not mine,” Alec spat out, trying to keep his anger reigned in, feeling it rise inside of him, wave after dangerous wave. “I don’t have the time for this. Jace is still gone, Aldertree is making our work more difficult than it should be, and I don’t have to justify myself to you.”
“I didn’t raise you to be some warlocks whore!” Maryse grabbed his shoulder when he turned around to leave and that was it, the fragile control he had over his own emotions snapped at the sound of her authoritative tone.
“ENOUGH!” Alec growled at her as he spun around and grabbed her by the wrist, yanking the offending hand away from his shoulder. She took an instinctive step back and, through the red haze of fury, Alec noticed how her eyes went wide, how a brief expression of fear flashed through her face. It brought him grim sense of satisfaction, knowing she didn’t expect his outburst. Alec wasn’t prone to anger often and never, ever, had he turned that anger on her.
Not until now.
“You once told me that no one has the right to tell me how to live my life,” Alec hissed, his tone low and husky, and with a hint of steel underneath his words. “That no one can tell me how to achieve my own happiness, or who I should tie myself to, as long as it was my choice. Well, this is my choice and you don’t get to have a say in it. I will not allow you to talk about Magnus that way. Not now, not ever. If he’s a mistake - which I highly doubt - he will be my mistake. You don’t have the right to interfere. You are my mother, but you’re not my alpha. Not anymore. Do I make myself clear?”
Alec watched her process this, her face turning more pale. When she didn’t reply, he squeezed her wrist a little more. She was probably going to have bruises. Alec would feel guilty about them later, but at this very point he could not bring himself to care.
“I said, is that clear?”
“Yes,” she finally said and he released her, but to her credit she didn’t move away, didn’t step back away from him. “Oh, Alec…”
She reached out to him, both hands raising to his face and he resisted the urge to flinch. He wasn’t sure what she was playing at, but he wasn’t about to yield to her. He wasn’t lying when he said she was not his alpha anymore. There was only one he would yield to now, and that was not his mother.
Maryse cradled his face between her hands, gently and cautiously, her eyes softening a little as she took in the hardened expression on his face. The narrowed eyes shining with suspicion, and anger boiling inside of him, ready to burn her. He was still and unmoving and towering over her, ready to snap at any further provocation. Alec was half-feral and in protective mode. And an angered or threatened omega was dangerous.
But he was still her son, and she was the one responsible for putting him in this state.
“Magnus is the one you told me about,” Maryse said, sudden understanding in her voice. She was running her thumbs soothingly down Alec’s sharp cheekbones, hoping that the familiar gesture would help calm him down. “Easy now, easy. I didn’t mean to make you so angry.” Her soft whispers eased some of the tension from Alec’s shoulders, just like they always did when she brought him down from the adrenaline rush that triggered feral episodes. “I’m so sorry, my sweet boy. I didn’t understand. I know now that he’s your mate.”
Alec closed his eyes and shivered, thinking about Magnus. His loving eyes and soothing scent and reverent touch. He had never put a label on their relationship, but his mother was not wrong. The intense, painful longing he felt whenever they were apart, the elation that filled him to the brim whenever he was near the older man, when he could breathe in his scent, touch his warm skin. It all sounded like an incomplete bond.
And Magnus...
Magnus was his mate.
Alec turned his head to nuzzle deeper into the pillow and desperately tried to forget about the disaster of an evening they’d just had. Max’s party had been a failure due to the spell that was cast over all of them. Because of Alec’s overwhelming guilt over Jocelyn's death, elevated by the spell, he’d nearly thrown himself over Magnus’ balcony. He didn’t do it, but it was close. The only thing that stopped him, seconds before it was too late, was the faint, barely-there scent he caught in Magnus’ apartment.
The memory of it was stuck in his head. His mind snapped out of the spell’s hold as soon as he caught trace of it. It was a scent he could never forget. A bizarre mix of tulips, ginger root, and dust. He would forever associate this scent with the stench of terror and pain and suffering.
He ran through the apartment trying to locate the source. His frantic behavior must have been enough to alarm the others. Magnus tried to get his attention, to calm him down, but it wasn’t working. Alec seemed to be focused only on his task, hell-bent on finding the threat and eliminating it.
How dare she? How could she come into this apartment, into their territory, and hide away like a coward? Just the faintest trace of her scent was enough to make Alec’s hackles rise and his skin crawl. This time she was not going to get away from him.
He found her in Magnus’ bedroom, disguised in the form of a cat. Alec rushed at her, but she shifted into human form just in time to cast a spell that pushed him back.
Iris Rouse.
What happened afterward, Alec wasn’t sure. He couldn’t remember most of it. He’d been immobilized with magic for half of the fight and then blinded with rage for the rest of it. He knew that Magnus fought Iris and trapped her in his own spell. He knew that Jace had to hold Alec down to keep him away from tearing into Iris with his bare hands. He would have. He would have choked the life out of her there on the spot if he only had a chance. But now she was in Idris, awaiting the Clave’s judgment.
And he was here, in Magnus’ bed hiding his face in a soft pillow, trying to muffle the world around him. He wasn’t running high on adrenaline anymore, but his body hadn’t gotten the memo. Every muscle in his body was tense and he was ready to fight, even though his brain already knew there was nothing more to be done.
He didn’t flinch when he felt the bed dip next to him. Then Magnus was there, lying down next to Alec, his arm coming around Alec’s shoulders to hold him close.
“She’s gone, Alec. You can rest now.”
Alec made a wounded, angry sound and abandoned his pillow, choosing to hide his face away in the crook of Magnus’ neck instead. The warlock’s scent there was strong, easing his mind a little, filling his lungs as he took in shaky breaths.
“The things she did to those omegas,” Alec rasped out, trying desperately not to think back to the horrors of Iris’ experiments and failing. Every time he closed his eyes he could see Iris’ victims. He couldn’t stop his mind from going in circles and wondering what stroke of luck had spared him from the same fate, from being bound and broken and violated in a way you couldn’t ever recover from, not really. As a male omega, he would have been an attractive target for Iris, if she only knew of his existence. “I could have killed her. I will kill her if I ever see her again.”
“She’s going to pay for what she’s done,” Magnus whispered as he ran his fingers through Alec’s black hair in an attempt to calm him down. Alec’s scent filled the air between them. It was sour, unhappy, and that put Magnus on edge as well. “And you are the one who figured out she was here in the first place. You caught an intruder in my lair.” Magnus paused for a moment. “In our lair. You did good, love.”
Their lair. That sounded… nice. A space that they could share as one territory, theirs to protect. To nest in. It was something that usually only happened between mated pairs and Alec couldn’t help the warm, happy feeling that bloomed deep in his chest.
They took their relationship to the next level not long after that since Alec didn’t want his first time to happen in the middle of his heat. He didn’t want the rush of hormones and haze of lust to cloud the experience.
And oh, it was definitely an experience. Alec grew up thinking he would always be alone since he never showed interest in any alpha, but this? This was something else. Magnus worshipped his body, taught him the wonders of shared intimacy that were just on the razor edge of being overwhelming.
Alec let himself fall, knowing that Magnus would be there to catch him.
“Your mother and I always had a complicated relationship.”
Alec snorted in disbelief, not lifting his eye from the tablet in his hand as he scanned over the latest report from the previous night’s patrol. The group had not encountered anything out of the ordinary, which gave Alec hope that things might finally be leveling out, even just a little bit. Valentine was in custody and most of his followers were scattered. The Clave had acknowledged his leadership in the battle, thankfully disregarding Alec's rebellion against Aldertree.
Everything led up to this moment. Discovering Izzy’s addiction. Taking back control of the Institute. The battle. Confronting Valentine and his shadowhunters. And now the Clave had named him Head of the Institute. This was what he had been aiming for ever since he was a child.
“It’s not complicated.” Alec put down the tablet after signing off on the report, sending it to be archived. He finally looked up at his father, sitting on one of the sofas in his office. His office. It still blew his mind. “You cheated on her.”
“I made a mistake,” Robert said, looking down for a moment before shifting his gaze to Alec once more. “I never meant to hurt you, any of you. But I fell in love. You of all people should know what that’s like.”
“Magnus isn’t an affair!” Alec growled, slamming an open palm down on the desk, the sudden loud thump making Robert twitch in response. “I won’t allow you to disrespect him. He is my mate. And mom was yours. Until you decided to throw it all away.”
They were silent for a minute. Alec closed his eyes and took deep breaths, trying to control his feelings. Ever since realizing what Magnus meant to him, his emotions were all over the place. Logically, he knew it was a period of adjustment that he needed to get through. The fierce protectiveness over his mate would ease away in time, but until then he was ready to go to war for Magnus, even against his own father.
“I can understand falling for someone else,” Alec finally said. “People fall in and out of love all the time. That’s just how life is. You don’t have to stay with your mate for the rest of your days.” He looked at his father and saw the tiniest flicker of hope in his eyes, a hope for reconciliation.
He was about to crush that hope, hard, and didn’t feel any remorse.
“But going behind Mom’s back, continuing your affair? That’s what I can’t forgive. You should have ended things with Mom before you started seeing someone else. But now you’re not being truthful to either of them. You’re just another alpha being led around by his knot.”
“Alec!” Robert’s expression turned angry and he stood up from his seat, his entire body one tense line. “I won’t allow you to talk to me like that!”
“Why?” Alec asked, raising an eyebrow. “Because I am an omega? So is your mistress, remember?”
“Because you’re my son! You will show me some respect.”
“Respect is earned, Dad.” Alec hissed, narrowing his eyes. He remained seated behind his desk, anger churning inside of him freely, but it was the icy-cold kind of fury that washed over him with a false sense of tranquility. He did not need to shout or get angry to get his point across. “It’s also as easily lost, and you lost all respect I had for you when you chose to hurt your family. Mom was your mate for over twenty years - she deserved more than being cheated on and made into the new hot gossip of Idris.”
“Alec, you don’t have the right to--”
“I have every right,” Alec interrupted him, his voice low and dangerous. Robert’s eyes widened when he realized that he was stepping on thin ice now. “Out of the two of you, it was Mom who was my alpha. It was never you. She was my alpha and you broke her heart.”
Alec had hurt people for less.
“Unless it’s official business, we have nothing more to talk about.” Alec picked up his previously discarded tablet and turned it on. “Not until you fix your own mess. Now, I have the Institute to run. I trust you can let yourself out.”
“Alec…” Robert’s voice was quiet and defeated now, but Alec wasn’t looking at him any more.
“You can go,” Alec said and sighed with relief when Robert left his office without a word.
“Are you nervous?”
Magnus’ breath washed over the heated skin of his forehead and Alec closed his eyes as he shivered, half in anticipation and half in fear.
“Yes,” he finally admitted, his voice shaky, “I’m not sure what’s going to happen.”
Which wasn’t entirely true. Alec had academic knowledge of how heats should go, he wasn’t going into it blind. He knew that his heat would last from two to four days, during which his temperature would spike and, if a compatible alpha was near, he would experience a heightened state of arousal. Not enough to make his crazy with it (no matter how online porn liked to pretend that omegas in heat turned into knot-obsessed slaves that alphas could do anything with) but enough to make things very uncomfortable if he didn’t have sex. His pheromones would, in turn, trigger an alpha into a rut so that they could go through their heats together.
It all sounded very… clinical. Alec wasn’t sure how he felt about the aspects of his biology that only happened during heats. He wasn’t looking forward to experiencing the feeling of producing his own slick or having Magnus knot him - something he was pretty sure was going to hurt, at least at first.
He tried to approach it like a battle for which he could plan ahead. He scheduled himself a week off work, just in case this first heat went for longer than usual, which wasn’t uncommon. He left his siblings in charge and threatened them with bodily harm if they disturbed them for any reason, save for the apocalypse dropping on their heads or Raziel himself demanding his attention.
He also made sure his contraceptive shot was still active since he had no intention of having a child anytime soon. Alec had been wary of admitting this to Magnus, but the warlock only smiled, told Alec that it was his decision and he had all the time in the world to wait and see if he changed his mind one day.
So, all in all, Alec felt like he was ready.
Despite all this knowledge, despite all the facts he had researched and learned about, nothing could have prepared him for actually feeling the effects of the heat. The hot rush of pure want that filled him as they laid on the bed together touching and kissing, the need building up like an inferno, making Alec’s skin feel like it was on fire. The fabric of his clothes seemed like a branding iron, scalding and hurting, and he whined in the back of his throat at the uncomfortable feeling.
“You don’t need to be scared,” Magnus said, kissing Alec in between sentences. Pressing small, brief kisses over his lips, the bridge of his nose, his closed eyelids. “I’ll take care of you.”
“I know,” Alec panted, squirming a little until he could reach to strip off his shirt and then yanked Magnus’ own tunic off his body, relishing in the way cool air hit his overheated skin, “I trust you.”
That was what this was. For over a decade, he'd spent his heats alone, in isolation from the outside world. Now he had finally found someone who he trusted with his life, with his body. Someone who would stay with him when he was the most vulnerable.
“Magnus,” Alec whispered as the warlock shifted them around until Alec ended up on his back, Magnus nestled in between his legs. They were both hard. Alec shivered.
“How do you feel?” Magnus asked, pressing their foreheads together. One of his hands settled over Alec’s sternum, feeling his heart beating wildly inside of his chest like a bird caught in a cage.
“Hot,” Alec panted. “Too hot. Is it… is it always like this?”
“Yes, but it will get better. It’s just the first rush. It will ease soon.” Magnus kissed him again slowly, possessively, owning Alec’s mouth and Alec surrendered with the sweetest sigh.
“Can you feel it?” Alec asked after a moment, gripping onto Magnus’ hair with trembling fingers as the warlock mouthed at his neck, covering it in his marks. “The bond?”
Magnus made an affirmative noise and Alec closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling. The beginning of a bond thrumming between them. He had felt it for the last couple of months, but it would only be complete with a shared heat. Alec was more than ready to take the leap, to tie himself to this wonderful, brilliant man who turned out to be his shining star, his beacon towards which he had been gravitating his entire life.
Alec allowed himself to fall apart, trusting Magnus to put him back together. To gather all his broken pieces and make him whole again, until Alec felt brand new and loved and complete.
#malec#magnus bane#alec lightwood#shadowhunters#alpha-beta-omega#the mortal instruments#tmi#malec headcanons#headcanons
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Title: Our Happy Ending
@chunex requested: Hi ! I love your fics, can I be tag in all please ?! Btw can you make a fic where Izzie and Denny have their happy ending ? Please Thank You
Character(s): Denny and Izzie
Summary: Denny and Izzie finally have their happy ending.
Word Count: 1,896
Warning: Fluff!
Author’s Note: All right. I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks Denny deserved better hehe. So, thank you @chunex for requesting this! We need to give him his happy ending for all the shit he dealt with. So, I hope this is what you imagined it to be. Enjoy all the fluffy goodness! ;-)
Forever Taglist: @disfigured-it-out || @chunex || @jasoncrouse || @oceanicseries || @dixonsbait || @negan--is--god || @see-you-then-winchester || @sable-the-trans-ham || @k4veggies || @labyrinthofheartagrams || @purplemuse89 || @ladyynegan || @scentofpineandhazelnutlattes || @may85 || @a-girl-interupted || @spn-cw123 || @multireality || @ashzombie13 || @constellationsolo || @isayweallgetdrunk || @fyeahashley88
(GIF Source: @heartfulloffandoms)
Denny asked her. He asked her to marry him. Maybe it was the possibility of dying that made him ask her, but either way, she said yes and now he was more than ready to work on his recovery after receiving the new heart. He never thought that after five years, he would have a new heart, a new release on life, and a fiancée that he was extremely in love with.
He was reading the newspaper when suddenly, Izzie walked through the door in her pink dress. When he looked up at her, he felt his breath being taken away at the sight of her. Denny set the paper onto the table nearby and smiled, extending a hand out for her.
“You look –”
She interrupted, making sure to check his vitals. They were aware of how easily prone he was to blood clots, so they made sure to keep a close eye on him.
“Izzie, I’m fine…” he said.
Slowly, she pulled away from him to look into his eyes. She relaxed for a moment and leaned forward to peck his lips. “You can never be sure.”
“Well, thank you for being very thorough. Now, give me a spin,” Denny smiled.
Izzie smiled, standing up and slowly twirling around. She bit her lower lip and looked down at him, noticing his sparkly brown eyes twinkling against the soft light of his hospital room.
“Beautiful,” he commented.
Izzie blushed, “Now, I don’t want to go to this party. I just want to be here with you.”
Denny smiled. Usually, he would urge her to go and be with her colleagues, but tonight, he wanted her all to himself. Slowly, he climbed out of bed and reached for her small bag. He grabbed her phone and unlocked it, playing a slow song.
After he set her phone down on the table, Denny took her hand and pulled her to him. He felt much better now that he had a heart that was working properly. He rested a hand on her lower back as the other held her hand against his chest.
Izzie looked up at him. She wasn’t expecting him to get out of bed and dance with her; this only proved to her that Denny was the one. He was going to make her so happy.
“You’re a bit underdressed,” she teased.
Denny chuckled, “You kidding me? It’s easier access for you.”
Izzie laughed quietly, burying her face against the crook of his neck. She kept one arm wrapped around his shoulders, enjoying how tall he was. She pulled back to look up at him, gently pecking his lips before pulling away.
“Should we start planning our wedding?” he asked.
“You mean you haven’t already begun?”
Denny smiled, “Oh. I was in the middle of getting a new heart, but I did have the chance to call a wedding planner…”
“Really?” Izzie arched a brow.
“No, silly,” he responded.
Izzie shook her head, a large smile lining her lips. She released her hand from his and wrapped both arms around his neck loosely, feeling his own arms wrap around her waist. He held her close to him, swaying side to side to the soft beat of the song.
“As long as we both say ‘I do’, then I don’t mind how we do it. I just want to marry you already,” she said. She didn’t want to waste any more time.
Denny nodded. He leaned down to capture her lips, reveling in the softness of it against his own. He smiled against her, slowly allowing himself to move their lips against one another.
“Mm, Denny… You still have to recover,” she mumbled, pulling away with a blush.
“Just wanted to show you what you’re missing out on.”
“You just never stop, do you?” Izzie asked, laughing quietly.
“Not when I’ve got a beautiful fiancée, nope.”
Izzie smiled, kissing his cheek. She pulled away once the song ended and motioned for him to get back on the bed. He arched a brow and followed her order, lying back.
“Are you going to mount me now?” he winked.
“Denny Duquette!”
“It was worth a try.”
Izzie laughed, shaking her head. She moved to lie next to him, resting her cheek against his shoulder and shutting her eyes. This was much better than attending the party with the rest of the residents.
After Denny was released from the hospital, Izzie made sure to take a few weeks off from work. She spent majority of her time with Denny and moving her things out of the house she shared with Meredith and into Denny’s apartment.
Their wedding day was fast approaching and Denny was ready to take her as his wife. He wrapped his arms around her that night, holding her against him. He never thought he would be cleared for a clean bill of health (with the exception of many check-ups), no less have a beautiful woman in his arms.
He looked down at her, watching as she slept peacefully in his arms. Denny leaned down and kissed her forehead, shutting his eyes and allowing himself to fall into a deep slumber. He couldn’t wait to marry her.
After a week of preparing for their wedding, Izzie was pacing back and forth in the small room. She was dressed in a white gown that trailed outwards at the bottom of her dress. It was sleeveless and strapless, very much like her pink dress, but this was more elegant.
She let out her blonde curls, allowing it to frame her face. Meredith entered the room and looked at her, grinning from ear to ear.
“Okay, what’s the matter?”
“What if he realizes that he doesn’t want me? What if he realizes that now that he’s free from his heart problems, he may want more?” she panicked.
“Izzie… Denny is waiting patiently outside for you. He’s fidgeting, just like you are, but you know just as well as I do that this is meant to happen. He’d never do that to you. He’s your one, Izzie. Now, go on and get out there.”
Izzie took a deep breath and looked over at her. She nodded and hugged Meredith lightly before exiting the room. She allowed Meredith to walk first and once the music began to play, Izzie felt her heart beat out of her chest.
This was it. It was finally happening.
Slowly, Izzie took a step forward and raised her eyes from the ground to meet Denny. Instantly, she smiled to herself. All the worries and concerned she was panicking about had disappeared and all she could imagine was the future she was going to share with Denny.
He was wearing a black and white suit. His hair was cut a bit shorter, but he was still sporting the same facial hair that made him that much more handsome. When he smiled, Izzie couldn’t help but let her heart skip a beat at the sight of his deep dimples.
Once she stood in front of him, Denny reached for her hands and instantly, pulled her a bit closer. He looked into her eyes and smiled, running his thumbs absently along her knuckles.
The couple was stuck in a trance. Everyone around them disappeared. They imagined their future, the possibility of having children, moving into a house, the many nights that they would spend cuddling with one another.
In that moment, they were invincible and nothing was going to stop them from their happy ending.
When the priest asked for their vows, Denny decided to go first. He placed a soft kiss on her knuckles and smiled.
“Isobel Stevens… My firecracker,” he grinned. “When you stepped foot into my hospital room for the first time, there was something about you that attracted me immediately. Maybe it was because of how beautiful you were, but as we spent more time together, I realized that you had become the reason why I wanted to live. You make me laugh, Izzie. I see you and immediately, my entire world brightens around me. I just can’t help but smile.
“You didn’t look at me like I was some patient waiting to die… You gave me hope when I had lost it. Your optimism fueled me to get better, to keep fighting. Our lunch dates became more frequent. I always looked forward to seeing you.
“I had dealt with my heart problem for five years and in that five years, I have never felt as alive as I did when I was with you. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Izzie. You’ve made me the happiest man alive when you said yes to marry me, and you will continue making me the luckiest man alive to have you as my wife.”
Izzie blinked back the tears, trying desperately not to ruin her makeup. Denny smiled, reaching up to gently wipe a tear away, looking directly into her eyes.
“I love you,” he whispered.
Izzie grinned, wanting to kiss him. She knew that she wasn’t allowed to just yet, so she refrained. When the priest turned to her, she nodded and focused her attention on Denny.
“I never knew how good of a decision it was to be with Dr. Bailey that day. I walked in and despite lying on a hospital bed, you worked your charm. It was difficult to avoid, especially since those dimples make me weak. Like you said, our lunch dates became more frequent. I used every excuse I had to see you.
“The way you look at me, Denny, makes me feel so special. You look at me as if I’m the only woman that matters. You make me feel beautiful, loved… You make me laugh and I love being in your arms. I never thought I would settle down and get married, but then you came into my life.
“I am so deeply in love with you, Denny Duquette. I can’t wait to wake up in your arms every morning or go to sleep in the comfort of our own bed. I can’t wait for this new beginning of ours.”
Izzie finished, biting her lower lip. She looked up at Denny and noticed how he was also restraining himself from kissing her. When the priest asked for the rings, Denny held them up and Izzie grinned.
It was becoming official.
“I do,” Denny said, sliding the ring onto Izzie’s finger.
When the priest turned to Izzie and asked the same question, she nodded and slid the ring onto Denny’s finger, “I certainly do.”
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride, Mr. Duquette,” the priest said.
Denny grinned, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her in for a deep kiss. Izzie melted into him, her arms wrapped loosely around his neck as she continued to slow, passionate kiss.
When they pulled away, Denny rested his forehead against her own and grinned.
“We got our happy ending,” he whispered.
“Are you ready to start making babies?” she teased.
Denny widened his eyes. “We can skip the reception and go straight into the honeymoon.”
“I’m kidding,” she laughed.
“Mm, you’re going to get it later, Mrs. Duquette.”
Izzie grinned, “It has a nice ring to it.”
“Thank you, Izzie…”
“For what?” she asked.
“For giving me my happy ending.”
#jeffrey dean morgan#jdm#jdm fanfiction#denny duquette#grey's anatomy#greys anatomy#denny x izzie#izzie stevens#one shot#oneshot#requests#chunex#story: our happy ending
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