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moon-light-jukebox · 4 years

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“All you have to do is ask.” Chapter 6 - [Reid x Reader]

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Summary: After a long stretch of crimefighting, Reader and Spencer finally get a chance to spend some time together. Reader is ready to give Dr. Reid the proper introduction to female domination and BDSM he asked for.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x (Female) Reader

Category: 85% Smut, 10% Fluff, 5% Angst.

Word Count: 7.9k for Chapter 6

Content Warnings: BDSM, Femdom, thigh riding, pegging, orgasm denial, spitting, slapping, bondage, sub drop, aftercare, brief mention of menstruation (just in case that needs a warning). This chapter is filthy, y’all.

A/n: Before we begin, I wanted to give a small warning. When I started this story, I wanted to give an honest portrayal of BDSM/Femdom. The before, during, and after are equally important. Sub/Dom drop is a very real and emotional thing. But don’t worry, Reader is always there for our nervous boy.

y/n = your name. y/l/n = your last name. Italicized text is Reader’s thoughts.

-- Chapter 6 – “Dirty thing” --

Things started to move so fast after Illinois. We arrived home late Sunday night only to be called back out on Monday morning to assist the Tucson Police with a child abduction. We were finishing up the paperwork when the call came in from Florida about a series of car-jackings that weren’t really car-jackings.

It had been more than 2 weeks since that night in the hotel room, and all I had since then were just moments with my Dr. Reid. He sat next to me on the plane sometimes, his hand resting on my thigh when he was certain no one could see. He had placed a kiss on the back of my neck while we were standing in the conference room in Florida. I was surviving on these stolen moments.

Spencer seemed to be happy with our first BDSM experience together, which was a relief to me. I had never had a submissive that was inexperienced before. I felt a great deal of pressure where he was concerned; I knew the toll one bad partner could have on a person.

Some nights Spencer would call me from his hotel room. I would give him instructions on how I wanted him to touch himself; listening to his desperation grow every time he brought himself to the edge and I pulled him back. We experimented a bit with degradation. Learning the complexities of Spencer Reid was quickly becoming one of my favorite pastimes.

After Florida we made a brief stop in Alabama; Hotch informed us that we were only spending one night here and that we would be departing at 7:30 am the following morning. Our unit chief also swore that we were going to have the weekend off; no interruptions. I’ll believe it when I see it, was all I could think. Glancing around to the rest of the team, I could see they agreed with me.

We all had separate rooms that night, thankfully. If I had to listen to Emily snore for one more night, I might lose my mind. I wasn’t sure how JJ did it. Coming into my room, I kicked my shoes off and headed for the bed. I pulled my phone out of my bag before I very unceremoniously flopped down on the bed. The pace of the last 2 weeks was starting to wear on me.

I brought up my text messages when there was a hesitant knock on my door. It was just past 8 pm; it was risky, but I knew it had to be Spencer. I hurried towards the door, throwing it open to reveal his sheepish face. Wasting no time, I grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him into the room.

“What are you doing?” I hissed. “Someone could have seen you.”

"I'm not allowed to go to my friend's room to hang out?"

He has a point. “Well, you never know! It’s better to be safe.”

His full lips turned down into a pout. “I just wanted to spend some time with you. I missed you, y/n.” Is my heart fluttering like that a sign of a medical problem? I wondered. “And not just the…stuff we do. I just…I just missed being with you.”

How could I stay mad at that? “I missed you too, baby.” I took his hand in mine, guiding him over to the bed. He propped up on the pillows beside me, both hands coming up to loosen his tie.

“Can I ask you a question?”

I snorted a bit. “Yeah, Doc, I think you can ask me anything you want at this point.”

“Well,” his cheeks were starting to turn pink. “We’ve been…” I wonder what he’s gonna call it. “…serious”Hmm, that’s fair. “for almost 4 weeks now, 27 days and 14 hours, give or take, depending on when you wanted to say this started.”

“Get to the point, darling.”

“Right,” he muttered. “Well, we’re supposed to have this weekend off. And I don’t have any plans.” He dropped his eyes to his hands which were twisting nervously. “I understand if you have plans, of course. Or you’re just not in the mood. Statistically speaking, given the time we’ve spent together,” your likely to have your period soon-“

“Woah,” I interrupted. “Let’s pump those breaks, Doc.” Spencer looked horrified that he had rambled on so much and equally relieved that I had stopped him. “First of all, I have an IUD. I don’t get my period very often.” I can’t believe he’s talking about my period. “And second, the only plans I have this weekend involve grocery shopping and laundry.”

“Oh,” he said quietly. “Me too.”

I pulled my lips together between my teeth to try and suppress my smile. “Are you asking about my weekend plans because you’re interested in being a part of them? Or just out of curiosity?” Come on, Doc. All you have to do is ask me.

“I was-I was wondering if you wanted to spend some time together this weekend? If you’re not busy.”

My sweet, sweet boy. I stretched my body up, bringing my lips to his. I brushed my mouth over his in a very sweet and unhurried kiss. “No, Doc. I’m not busy.” I felt his lips smile against my own. “And maybe we can try some new things if you’re interested.”

“I’m more than interested in everything related to you,” he breathed against my lips.

It was decided that Spencer would come to my apartment Saturday in the early evening. I left the exact time up to him, in case he had anything he needed to do on this rare weekend off.

It was around 2 pm when my phone chimed with a text message from him.

“What time is okay for me to come over?”

I laughed out loud; I should have expected this. “Whenever you want, Doc.”

His response was immediate, which was also rare. “Can I come over now?”

“Sure, Doc. But I want you to bring something with you.”

I pulled open the door a short time later to find a very nervous looking Spencer Reid. Even out of work, he was still dressed the same as always. He had dark slacks on, a navy shirt, and a cardigan, he had forgone the tie today, and he was clutching the strap of his messenger bag for dear life.

“Hi, Doc,” I greeted him with a huge smile before waving him in. I saw him taking inventory of my apartment. From the art on the walls to the rug on the floor to the books on the bookshelf. "You need a bigger bookshelf," he said at last.

He wasn’t wrong. “I suppose I do. But not all of us can have a whole wall as a bookshelf, Doc.” I put my hand on his arm, pulling him into my living room, then down onto my couch. His entire body was tense, his eyes moving around nervously. I leaned closer, putting my hand on the side of his face, drawing his gaze to meet mine.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” I reminded him.

“I want to do this. I do.” He swallowed nervously, flexing his fingers. “I just…I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s going to happen. And I don’t want to mess up. And I’m so nervous that I’ll do something wrong.”

I leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Hey, hey. Take a breath. I’m serious. Take a deep breath.”

He rolled his eyes but complied.

“Spencer, I don’t expect you to just come in here and jump into a world that you’ve never been a part of before. I’m nervous too.”

That had his eyes widening. “You are? But why? You know what you’re doing.”

It doesn’t feel like I do. “Every person is different, Spencer, and I haven’t cared about a submissive the way I care about you in a long time.” My boy smiled at that. “Before we do anything, we’re going to let you get comfortable. I’m not going to do anything that we haven’t already discussed. If you feel uncomfortable, say “yellow” and I will pull back. If you don’t want to do anything more, say “red” and we will stop right then.”

He bit his full bottom lip, his eyes widening as he continued to meet my gaze. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Just when I think my heart can’t possibly handle another crack in it. I cupped his jaw in both of my hands. “You could never disappoint me, Spencer. Never.” I said the words with 100% sincerity and honesty. It was true. “Even if you decide this isn’t what you want and you walk out right now, I’ll never be disappointed.” If he left right now I would feel a lot of things, but disappointment in him wouldn’t be one of them.

“Okay,” he breathed. “Can…Can I kiss you now? I don’t know-“

I leaned closer, my lips hovering millimeters from his own. “Yes,” I whispered. “You can kiss me.”

His lips were tender as they brushed mine. It was like nothing we had done previously mattered, my nervous boy was still so afraid, but still so desperate and so curious.

I pulled back right as his tongue flicked over the seam of my mouth, resting my forehead against his. “Let’s not get carried away,” I chuckled. “I still need to talk to you.”

Spencer sat back, his hands folded on his lap, looking at me expectantly.

Forever the eager student. "The scene begins when I send you into the bedroom alone. It ends when you cum. That can always change if you decide you want it to stop." He needed to know that. “Since this is your first experience, I want you to be prepared for some pretty intense emotions once we’re done, I promise I’ll be right here with you to get you through anything, should you feel it.” My boy’s eyes were wide, but he nodded. Still so trusting. “I’ll be using toys on you this time. I ordered them a few weeks ago and they’ve all been sterilized.”

His brow quirked at that. “You had to buy them?”

It was impossible to contain my laugh. “I didn’t think you’d be okay with toys that had been used on other people, no matter how well I sterilized them.”

The horrified expression on his face did nothing to help me suppress my laughter.

“Anyway,” I went on, still attempting to get myself under control. “I have various sizes for different things. I assume you’ve never done any sort of anal play on your own?”

There’s that blush. “No, y/n, I haven’t. Does that matter?”

“No, sweet boy, not in the way you think. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable. So, we will start with smaller sizes. If you decide you like it, we’ll work up to bigger ones. Or if you like the small ones, we can stick with those.”

He was shifting his hips unconsciously. “You’d be okay with that?”

Moving quickly, I lifted my leg over both of his, my hands pushing his shoulders to the back of the couch, my heat settling over his cock. He’s already a little hard, I thought with a smirk. I leaned forward, my mouth finding the softness of his neck, my lips skimming down to his pulse point before placing a soft kiss there.

Spencer groaned softly, his hands resting on my hips. He knew our scene hadn’t started yet, which made him bolder with his touch.

Kissing my way up to his ear, I took the lobe between my teeth, tugging softly, before I spoke. "I just want to fuck you, Dr. Reid. I don't care what size cock I fuck you with." I don't know if he shivered at the feeling of my breath against him or at my words. Hopefully both. I placed one last kiss on his neck before I moved off of him.

His bewildered expression amused me greatly. “But, before any of that, did you bring what I asked?”

It took my brilliant boy a second to remember what I was talking about. He reached for the messenger bag beside him. “Yes,” he muttered, opening the bag to pull out several books. “But I wasn’t sure what sort of book you wanted me to bring. So, I brought a few different options.” He set 4 books down on my coffee table. “What are they for?”

“You’re going to read to me,” I said, not attempting to hide my smile.

"…I am?" At my nod, he said, "Oh..okay. Do you want to do that now?”

“Don’t look so disappointed, baby.” I held out my hand to him. “Come with me.”

Curious as ever, my boy followed me into my bedroom, his eyes scanning over the bed, resting on the small chest that sat at the end of it.

“…Are we…” he trailed off.

"Sort of. I wanted to try something first before we officially start.” I turned to him, my fingers moving slowly up his chest until I reached his collar. “It will help me get you ready for later. Is that okay?” Still so nervous. Spencer nodded quickly; his pupils were already beginning to dilate. I rose up on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his pouty mouth. "We're not really in a scene right now. I know that can be confusing, and it's not something I would normally do, but you've never done this, so I thought it would be best." I pressed another kiss to his jaw. "You can touch me, just not under my clothes yet. Alright, baby?"

He mumbled his response while I pulled him forward until the back of my knees hit the bed, bringing him tumbling down with me. His hands tangled in my hair when my mouth found his. I didn’t pull away this time when his tongue flicked over my lips. I let him in with a soft sigh, moving my hands to tug on his soft, messy curls. I shifted until my pelvis was aligned with his, beginning to rock slowly.

This whole exercise was a bit of a tease, but I needed for him to be aroused for what I had planned. The more aroused he was the better.

I tugged his shirt out of the waistband of his pants, running my hands underneath the fabric. "Hey," he whispered, pulling back to smile at me. I ignored the way my heart fluttered at his tone. “You said not under the clothes.”

Smiling back at him, I hooked my leg around his hips, pulling him down further. I used that momentum to flip him onto his back while I straddled him. He looks so surprised, I thought smugly. He knows I help teach seminars on defensive tactics.

“Wrong again, Dr. Reid,” I murmured, my lips moving down his cheek to his jaw, to his ear. “I said you couldn’t put your hands under my clothes, baby,” I whispered against his ear. “I can do whatever the fuck I want to you.” I brought my hand up to wrap around his throat, applying a small amount of pressure to each side. I pressed my still covered pussy against the bulge in his pants. “Isn’t that right, baby?”

Spencer didn’t even wait until the words were out of my mouth before he started to whimper. I lifted my body until I was sitting up then I brought my hands to his belt. My fingers were unzipping his fly before I spoke again. “I asked you a question, Dr. Reid. Or does that memory of yours stop working when you become a whimpering, needy little mess?” My words were harsher than they had ever been with him before; he’d really enjoyed the degradation we had done so far and said he was open to pushing it a bit further. Ask and you shall receive, baby.

I moved off of him then, rising to my feet at the side of the bed. First, I slid his shoes off. Then I reached up to pull his pants down. Then my thumbs hooked in the waistband of his underwear. I let out an exaggerated sigh as I climbed back on top of his body. My lower body was still completely covered but he was bare from the waist down.

He wasn’t prepared for when my right hand shot out and grabbed his face. My thumb digging into the left side of his face. “That’s twice you’ve not answered me, Dr. Reid.” I lifted my hand from his face and quickly brought it back down quickly. Not as hard as I had the last time we were together like this. Not yet.

“I’m sorry, Miss,” he whimpered. “I’m so sorry.”

“Are you?” I moved my hand down to grip his hard cock in my hand, squeezing him, enjoying the way his eyes fluttered at the action. “I don’t know if I believe that, Dr. Reid.” My hand was pumping him steadily now. “I think you need to apologize a bit better than that.”

His eyes shot open and he subconsciously licked his lips, causing me to chuckle and still my hands movements. “Oh no, you can’t have that. You haven’t earned that, my nervous boy. Look at you. Look how much your cock is leaking precum already.” I brought my hands up unbutton his shirt. “You’re just a needy thing, aren’t you? It’s almost pathetic.”

Spencer was shifting his hips again, trying to get some sort of friction. “I’m sorry, Miss.”

Once his shirt was unbuttoned, I brought my hands up to his throat, leaning down to kiss the tip of his nose. “I know.” I lifted up, raking my nails down his pale chest. “Which is why you’ll be my good boy now, won’t you?”

He nodded quickly, his eyebrows coming together when I moved off of him. I knelt in front of the trunk at the end of my bed. He propped himself up on his elbows as I opened the chest and pulled two items out before I moved back over towards him.

“Move up the bed, lay in the center.”

Crawling back onto the bed, I hovered above him, before I began to move down his body. I kept eye contact with him the entire time. It’s okay, baby. I would never hurt you. “Do you know what this is, Spencer?”

I think hearing his name surprised him; he forgot that we weren’t technically in a scene yet. I had only acted this way because I wanted to bump his simmering arousal up to a flaming inferno. I knew my boy would become more nervous if he wasn’t a whimpering, desperate mess. He nodded.

I pushed his legs up until his knees were bent, then I kissed up his right thigh, moving towards his cock. “I want you to be ready for when I fuck you.” I offered in way of explanation right before I moved to run my tongue up the underside of his cock.

Spencer threw his head back, tossing it against my pillows. I wrapped my fingers around the base of his cock while I moved him into my mouth. I didn't suck as hard as I normally did, instead of letting saliva slip from my mouth to coat him. After a few moments, I pulled off.

"I want you to touch your cock, Spencer," I said, uncapping the lube. "You're not allowed to cum. Remember that when you touch yourself. If you get so close that it's painful to stop, you have no one to blame but yourself. And if you cum, I will punish you."

His Adam's apple bobbed, his eyes moving from the butt plug to my hands then back to his cock. He wrapped his long fingers around it while I coated the plug with lube. Eyes fixed firmly on my hands; he started a slow rhythm. What a good boy.

I stroked his thighs as I moved the plug into position against his ass. His face was flushed with a mix of arousal and embarrassment, I think. I just smirked at him. “Don’t get shy with me now, baby,” I said as I slowly began to push inside of him. “I’m going to have you begging me to fuck your tight little ass before the day is over.” He whimpered, his hand speeding up slightly. “You do know that, don’t you, Spencer? I’m going to make you such a little slut for me.” The plug went in further, with almost no real resistance from him. “Jesus, it looks like you’re already a fucking slut.” His whimpers and groans were coming faster now. “Look at how you’re taking this plug,” I started to fuck it into him slowly. “I knew you were dirty, Dr. Reid. But I didn’t expect this.”

With one final small push, it was seated inside him. I reached to grab his hand, pulling it off of his cock. His lip was between his teeth, his forehead dotted with sweat. "You did so well, Spencer," I praised him. "You're more needy than I thought. I think I might make you bounce on my cock later." I moved off of the bed, reaching down to pick up his underwear before I tossed them to him. "I thought it would take some time to get you to ride me, but you're such a little slut, I'm sure you'll be begging for it soon."

He looked so confused, his fingers picking up his underwear. “Wha-“ he panted, his hips moving against my bed, already starting to be overwhelmed by the sensation.

“Put on your underwear, Dr. Reid; leave your shirt unbuttoned. Then come back into the living room.” I gave him a wide smile. “You still have to read to me.”

I sat on the couch, flipping through the books Spencer had brought, waiting for him to emerge from my bedroom. He really had done so much better than I expected. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I was going to have him bounce on my cock. The thought of him moving over me, his head thrown back while I pumped his cock caused heat to pool between my thighs.

My eyes didn’t raise to look at him when he walked into the room. He sat to the left of me, where he had been before. His cock was still hard, his precum was leaving a damp spot on his underwear. “Which book do you want to read me, Dr. Reid?”

He groaned. “I-I don’t know if I can finish the whole book like this,” he mumbled, flushing a deeper red that went down to his neck.

“You don’t have to finish, darling boy.” I rose up from the couch then, undoing my pants before shimming them down my hips. “You just have to read to me until I cum.”

Spencer’s eyes went wide. Flickering from the books then back to where I was removing my shirt. I wasn’t paying attention to what book he picked; ultimately, it didn’t matter, I’m not sure I would be able to pay enough attention during this to even process what he was reading.

I stood before him in my bra and panties. He brought the thick book up to his chest, never so much as blinking while I moved over him. I put my thighs on either of his right thigh before I sat down, pushing the seam of my pussy against him through my underwear. I gripped his shoulders, moving my mouth to the tender area where his shoulder met his neck. Placing a soft kiss there, I moved my right hand down his chest, skimming over his stomach, then applying a teasing pressure to his cock over his underwear.

“Come on, Dr. Reid. You told me you’d read to me.”

His first few words were sure. I was almost positive this was one of the many books he had memorized, meaning he wouldn’t need to rely on the book itself to keep reading. This was probably good, as at the first rock of my pussy against his thigh, he released a soft groan, interrupting his words.

Smirking, I moved my hips more purposefully against him. My hands came up to grip his hair, pulling harshly. His moan once again made his words falter. “What’s wrong Dr. Reid,” I whispered sweetly against his skin. “Can you not focus on your book?”

“It’s…It’s so hard, y/n.”

I licked the vein running up his neck before I sucked on the skin. “I can feel just how hard it is, Dr. Reid.” I moved my mouth up to his ear again. “Take my bra off.” I expected him to fumble with this task, but he put his right hand behind my back and removed my bra in seconds. You’ve been holding out on me, Doc. Leaning back, I moved my hands to my own breasts, thumbing my nipples as I listened to Spencer read his book, his words barely registering in my mind.

“You don’t need both hands to read, do you?” He shook his head, his worlds never faltering from the story. “Good. I know how hard it is for you to sit here with that plug inside you. I know you’re thinking about how it will feel when I fuck you.” There’s that whimper, I thought. “I’m thinking about it too, Spencer.” My hips began to grind against him faster. “Put the book down but keep reading to me. If you stop your words, I’ll stop moving. The sooner I cum, the sooner you can get back into my bed.”

He placed the book down; his words a whisper now as he recited the book. “Touch me, Spencer. Make me cum like a good boy so I can finally fuck you like the little slut you are.” His hands gripped my hips, guiding my movements against his thigh, his mouth against my neck while he continued mumbling words I could barely hear against my skin.

"I've thought about fucking you before, you know," I said, my pussy becoming wetter and wetter against him. "The first time was on the jet. You had some book open in your lap. You were stretched out on the couch." I groaned as Spencer moved my hips faster and faster. "I thought about the look on your face if I just came over to you and sat on your lap." I moved to kiss his neck again. "I wonder what they would have said then." Dropping my hand down to palm his hot, hard cock over his underwear. "What would they have said if they saw Dr. Spencer Reid's big, pretty boy cock sliding down my throat?"

He was groaning now in between words, but the words were yet to totally falter. “I guess that would be better than them seeing you get fucked, right?” One of his hands moved up to my breast to pinch my nipple. “What would they think if they knew that their boy wonder, their resident genius, wanted to get his ass fucked and treated like a dirty little thing?”

I was so, so close. “Come on, Agent Reid. Make me cum. Make me cum all over your thigh so I can make you cum so hard you see stars.”

His words faltered then; his mouth moved to my shoulder, kissing it softly before he said, “I’d let the entire world watch anything if it meant I got to fuck you.” With that, he bit down on my skin. That small amount of pain caused my orgasm to break like a wave against me. Spencer kept moving my hips back and forth to help me ride it out.

The world came back into focus slowly, my breathing still harsh against Spencer’s shoulder. Gripping his shoulders, I pulled back to kiss him softly. He tried to turn the kiss into something deeper, his need making him desperate. I pulled back, looking in his eyes. “When you go into the room we really begin,” I whispered. “Green, yellow, and red. I need you to know I’m so proud of you, darling boy, even if we just end here. You’ve done so well.”

He whimpered again, confirming once again that he had a praise kink. “I want more, Miss. Please?”

I moved off of his body to sit back on the couch, picking up the book he had set down. “Go into the bedroom, take off all of your clothes. Lay in the center of the bed, hands by your sides. Do not touch yourself. If you do, I will punish you.”

When I finally made my way into the room a minute later, I found Spencer right where I instructed him to be. His cock was still hard; he was breathing rapidly. I stood at the edge of the bed, slowly slipping my panties off before I knelt down to open the chest again.

I had given this first scene a lot of thought. One day, I wanted to restrain him with my handcuffs when I fucked him. I could just imagine how he'd blush whenever he saw them after that. But, for this I had decided to use arm restraints that attached to the bars on my headboard, wrapping around his wrist with a Velcro cuff; he could open them if he needed to. I moved up on his left side, fastening one restraint to the bed, then walking to the right side, doing the same. His eyes were on my face, so expectant and so trusting.

I crawled on to the bed then, sitting myself on his firm stomach, my wet heat touching his skin. I leaned over to grip one cuff before I said, "Give me your hand, Dr. Reid." He complied without complaint or hesitation, then he did it again with his left wrist. I scooted my body down his until I felt his pubic bone brush against my still sensitive pussy. His breath hitched. "What's wrong, Dr. Reid?" I asked as I moved further down, my ass now resting over his cock.

“I-I can feel you. You-you’re so close.” His hands started to pull against the restraints, itching to reach out and touch me, push me back even further so his cock would finally touch the paradise that was my wet cunt.

I tsked at him, pouting my lips. “I know, darling boy. It must be so hard.” I moved my hands to his chest, bracing myself on one hand while the other reached up to wrap around his throat. “It’s so hard to so fucking needy, isn’t it, baby?” I moved back another inch.

He was whining under me now, shifting his hips relentlessly. Leaning forward, I placed my lips centimeters away from his own, my grip on his throat tightening just a bit. “It wouldn’t take much, Dr. Reid.” I brushed my mouth against his, laughing when I heard the restraints jerking against the headboard bars. “You know I won’t let you fuck me…but all it would take is just a shift of my hips.” I rocked back a bit, bringing my pussy right there, before drawing back up. “What would you give me for that, Dr. Reid? What would you do to feel my hot, wet, tight, little pussy rub against your pretty boy cock?”

“Anything,” his voice was so much higher than normal when he spoke. “I’ll do anything, Miss. Please. Please.”

You’re so good at this, baby. “You sound very pretty when you beg, Dr. Reid.” I placed one more chaste kiss on his top lip before I went back to a sitting position. Bracing my hands on his hips, I lifted my pelvis over his groin to settle on the tops of his thighs. His strangled groan was music to my ears. “You have been such a good boy…” I pretended to ponder this. “Tell you what, if you promise to ride my cock, to swirl your hips while you fuck yourself on top of me, I’ll let you feel me.”

He was nodding desperately, still pulling against the arm restraints. “Yes. Please. Please, Miss. I’ll do whatever you want.”

I moved his cock to lay flat against his pubic bone, the head pointing upwards towards his face. “I want you to watch, Dr. Reid.” I could feel myself dripping when I moved forward. Slowly, slowly, slowly, I placed the lips of my cunt around the width of his cock.

“Fuck." Spencer's eyes were glued to where my pussy was finally touching his cock. "You're so…fuck, you feel so good, Miss.”

This was the first time I had felt a man against me like this in longer than I wanted to admit. I should be scared, but I just couldn't be. It felt so right to be against him right now. I started moving my hips forwards and backward, much like I did when I rode his thigh. I looked down, watching his cock disappear as I slide my pussy over him. This wasn’t even sex in the way most people considered it, but being here, sharing this moment with Spencer was one of the most erotic and intimate moments of my life.

With one finally slide of my hips, I lifted off of him, getting off the bed completely.

“No, no, no, Miss, please come back.”

I looked back at him over my shoulder. His cock was wet with my arousal, his neck was flushed a bright red, his messy curls were sticking to his forehead, and his wrists were still pulling against the restraints. He is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“My, my, Dr. Reid.” I moved back to the chest, reaching down to pull out my harness. “You might be the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen. Look at you,” I shot him a look of fake disapproval while I stepped into the harness, bringing it up to secure it around my hips. I had selected this strap-on for the specific reason that I could change the size of the dildo attached to it. So, for today I could use something smaller on my boy…until he was ready for something rougher, or bigger. Originally, I had planned on selecting the smallest dildo, but after seeing how easily he took the plug, I decided to move to the next size up.

Spencer watched with wide eyes while I pulled out my “cock”. I smirked at him. “Do you like it, Dr. Reid?” I slid the dildo into place, clip it into place. I moved closer to him, crawling up the bed, sitting on his right side. I brushed my fingers over his chest, feeling his racing heartbeat. Moving so quickly he didn’t have a chance to brace, I struck quickly, whipping my left hand up to backhand across the cheek. Rising up on my knees, I moved closer to him, gripping a handful of his hair with one hand, my other bracing myself on the headboard. “I am getting really fucking tired of not having my questions answered, Dr. Reid.”

He was positively squirming now, his pupils were huge, his mouth hanging open. “I’m sorry Miss, I’m so sorry. I can’t- I can’t think when you’re around me.” I had to fight very hard to stop my lips from spreading into a smile, but I think he saw my lips twitch anyway.

“Brat,” I muttered, yanking on his hair again, causing him to let out another whimper. “I think you need to apologize, Dr. Reid. You want to be my good boy, don’t you?” I tilted my head to the side, regarding him curiously. “Because, if you’re my good boy, I’ll let you cum. But…if you’re not,” I leaned down to whisper to him. “Well, bad boys get their pretty little asses fucked, but they don’t get to cum.”

“I’m sorry Miss,” he whined out. “I’m so sorry. Please let me apologize.”

“Open your mouth.” He did so without question, his arms pulling on the restraints harder when I spit into his mouth. “Swallow it.” Such a good boy. “Now, I want you to suck my cock, Dr. Reid. Can you do that? Suck my cock and get it nice and wet before I fuck you with it.”

His eyes were on my face; I could see just the smallest flicker of nervousness in those pretty golden-brown eyes. I’d never hurt you, baby. You know that. Almost as if he heard my thoughts, he opened his mouth for me. Releasing his hair, I brought my hand to the dildo, guiding it into his mouth. “That’s it, you’re doing so good, Dr. Reid.” I gave a few very shallow thrusts of my hips, watching his eyes flutter while his cheeks hollowed out. “I knew the first time you sucked my fingers that day on your couch that you’d be so good at sucking cock.” I moved my hand from the dildo to place it lightly against his throat. “You’re nothing but a cock slut though, right, Dr. Reid?” He moaned around me; I squeezed his throat in response.

Pulling out of his mouth, I smiled down at him while I moved further away. I placed a soft kiss on his cheek before I moved down the bed. “You know why I left your legs free, don’t you Dr. Reid?”

“I’m not sure Miss.” His response was breathy and immediate. You’re learning, my nervous boy.

“Oh, the great Dr. Reid isn’t sure? That must be first. I guess it’s probably hard for your big brain to work when all the blood is going to your cock.” I grabbed the lube from the side of the bed to place it beside his thigh. I pushed his legs up roughly, so his knees were bent again. “I left your legs free, Dr. Reid, so it’s easier to make you take my cock.”

I brought my right hand up to his cock, my grip not firm enough to be satisfying, but I wanted him to focus on that sensation, especially now. In reality, it probably didn’t matter, my boy looked too far gone to be embarrassed anymore. With my left, I grabbed the base of the butt plug, slowly pulling it out.

His breath caught in his throat, his top teeth digging into his bottom lip so hard it whitened. “What’s wrong, baby?” My tone was condescending as I worked the plug out a bit, before I pushed it back in a bit, fucking it out of him gently, much like how I fucked it into him. “What do you need, Dr. Reid?”

He knew what I wanted, I had told him multiple times, but will my boy be brave enough to give it to me. I pulled the plug out completely, tossing it to the side before I grabbed the lube. I squirted some into my right hand before I started to slick up the dildo, my eyes never leaving his.

“I-I want you to fuck me, Miss.”

“Hmm,” I acknowledged, my hands still moving up and down my ‘cock.’ “I’m not sure what you mean, darling boy. You’ll have to be a bit more specific.”

Spencer’s head thrashed, his thighs clenched, his stomach muscles tensed. “I need you to fuck my ass, Miss…Please. Please fuck my ass, Miss.”

My hand stilled. Goddamnit. Hearing those words out of him made my pussy clench, my own wetness starting to drip down my thighs. "All you have to do is ask, Dr. Reid.”

I moved into position between his thighs, bringing both of my hands up to grip his slim hips. Scooting forward, I lifted him up a bit until my knees were barely under him, just enough to tilt his pelvis up so I could see him. I ran one of my hands up his inner thigh. “You’re even pretty here, Dr. Reid.” I lifted my hips slightly, pressing the dildo against his asshole. “Hold still, baby. I know you’re so needy and that makes it so hard, but you can hold still for me, can’t you?”

He nodded rapidly, his hands fisted into balls, his wrists tugging against the restraints, his teeth still sunk into his lower lip. Usually, I would demand his words, but I understood how overwhelming this was for him. Free pass, my nervous boy. I slowly started to push inside of him. My gaze kept flicking between my ‘cock’ entering him and his face, watching for any reaction, any sign of hesitancy.

“Please,” he whimpered.

I started making slow strokes, fucking the dildo into him in shallow, small thrusts. When I had about 4 inches inside of him, I put some more lube on my hand. I stroked some of it on the remaining 3 inches of the dildo, making sure I could bottom out inside him. The remaining lube I left on my hand…the same hand I brought up to grab his cock with.

“FUCK.” Spencer’s shoulders were raising off of the bed, his eyes locked on my movements.

“Does it feel good, Dr. Reid?”

"Green, green, green, fucking green," he muttered. Under normal circumstances, I would have laughed, but right now I just pitched my hips forward, burying the dildo inside of him. He let out a strangled moan that sounded like my name when my thighs hit his body.

"Look at that," I said softly. "Look at what a good little slut you are, Dr. Reid?" I started to thrust slowly, looking at his reactions to see which strokes seemed to have the biggest effect on him. Being a profiler comes in handy at the strangest times. “You’re such a pretty cock slut, baby.” The tempo of my thrusts sped up while I looked down to watch the dildo move in and out of his tight entrance.

“Miss, fuck,” he whimpered. “Miss, please fuck me harder.”

I moved my hips faster, watching as his mouth opened in a silent scream. I gripped his cock firmer in my hand. Building up a rhythm between jerking him off and fucking him. “Is this what you want, Dr. Reid? You want to be used like this? Like a filthy slut?”

“Yes, yes, Miss, please.” His eyes were fixed on my hand on his cock, on my hips moving quickly. “Miss, Miss, you’re so- Miss, I’m going to cum.”

“Oh, you are, are you?” I teased, slowing my hand slightly. My thighs still slapping against him as I fucked him.

“Please Miss,” he begged. “Please let me cum. Please, I’ll do anything. Please, please, I’m so fucking close.”

I gripped his cock harder, my pace never slowing. “Come on, Dr. Reid. Cum for me like the dirty thing you are.”

At my words, he let out the loudest moan I’d heard him make yet. His back was arching off the bed, as rope after rope of cum erupted from his cock. I slowed my pace, only giving a few shallow thrusts to work him through his orgasm.

Right as his orgasm started to end, I slowly withdrew the portion of the dildo that was still inside him.

I leaned over him to quickly undo the cuffs, freeing him. Moving off the bed, I unstrapped myself, letting the harness fall to the floor before I dashed into the bathroom connected to my room. Wetting the washcloth, I had already laid out, I grabbed my other supplies and hurried back into the room. Spencer was where I left him, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, unseeing.

I moved to sit between his legs. First, I wiped the cum and lube off his cock, murmuring my praises the entire time before I cleaned up the remaining lube from between his cheeks. Tossing the rag into the floor, I moved to kneel beside him on the bed. "Spencer," I whispered. "Spencer, you did so well. You were so wonderful."

His gaze fixed on mine, his eyes starting to fill with tears, his face a mask of confusion. “Y/n,” he said, his voice raspy. “Why-why-“

I pushed his hair off his forehead, bringing his arms in towards his body to check his wrists. “It’s okay, Spencer. It is fine. Your adrenaline and endorphins are hitting your body right now. This is what I was talking about that might happen. It’s called sub drop.” I cupped his jaw, my thumb brushing over his lips. “I’m right here, Spencer. I’m right here. And I’m so proud of you.”

I wanted to wait until he asked me to touch him, to be sure that was what he needed, but I just acted on instinct. I laid down beside of him and wrapped my arms around him. He turned his body to face mine, his knees curled up to hit my thighs. I stroked my hands over his back, murmuring softly to him the whole time.

After a few minutes had passed, and his breathing had evened out, I spoke again. “Spence? Do you think you can take a shower? The heat will make you feel better.”

He sniffled, his eyes never rising to meet mine. “I…I don’t know if I can leave you.”

In that moment, the tiny part of my heart that didn’t already belong to Spencer Reid, this marvelous, wonderful man, was cemented into his grasp. “Spencer, I need you to look at me, can you do that?”

His soft eyes finally rose to meet mine. They were wide and anxious and swimming with a much bigger and more frightening emotion. “Spencer, I’m not going to leave you. I’m going to take a shower with you. Then after we get cleaned up, we’re going to order some food and watch whatever you want to while we sit on my couch.” My words were hurried and dripping with honesty.

My darling boy’s face lite up with hope so bright it threatened to consume me. “You’ll stay with me?”

“You don’t even have to ask, Spence.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead.

The remainder of our Saturday went like I had planned. In our shower, I held his body under the warm water, I washed his hair, and I listened while he told me whatever fact came to his mind in that moment. After we were done, I got his messenger bag and brought him his clothes.

Together, we cuddled on my couch. Him in his old Caltech t-shirt and sweatpants and me in loose t-shirt and leggings. We found some sci-fi show that he said was good that I had never seen to watch while we ate our takeout. I listened to everything he told me about the show, holding his body close to mine.

I felt the tension rise up inside of him the later it got. Which is why I turned to him with an over-exaggerated yawn and asked him the question he was too afraid to ask me.

“Hey, Doc?” I said softly. “It’s getting pretty late…and after…after everything we did today, I don’t really want to be alone. Would you mind staying with me?”

The relief I felt radiate off of him in that moment was so powerful I don’t know if I’ll ever forget the feeling. “Of course, y/n. I’d really like that.”

After I stripped and remade my bed and cleaned up any stray items that I may have missed earlier, I lead Spencer into my bedroom. I fell asleep that night with my arms wrapped around him, his back to my chest. I held my hand against his chest, feeling his heartbeat slow as he fell asleep in my arms. It took a long time for sleep to finally find me, but I didn’t mind. I was content to just feel the heart beating inside the chest of the best person I had ever known.

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nitewrighter · 3 years

Note

Does Hanzo ever find out what Genji went through/what he was like during Blackwatch? If so, how does he react?

I think he does eventually, like... Genji lets him know that he was in a very difficult physical and emotional place with Blackwatch, and Hanzo’s able to pick up from Mercy that “Okay no, I don’t think you understand, it was really bad”--but she’s also fairly light on the details mostly for Genji’s sake like “Hey, I’m not going to tell you any more than Genji was comfortable with telling you.” And Zenyatta hangs back for the same reasons, and also he wasn’t there so he doesn’t want to distort the details from what Genji’s told him. So the one person Hanzo can actually get the full story from... is McCree.

Also this fic references the first meeting fic so yeah!

----

“Well?” Hanzo had one elbow resting on the bar. Music was faintly playing but it blended in with the humming murmur of the other patrons. Snowflakes were buffeting the glass of the windowpanes just outside and both of them had shrugged off their heavier coats. The bar itself had a homey, lived-in quality to it. Not dirty, but with a definite age to it that seemed to lend a further brightness to the bodies gliding through it and chatting. The icy Andean wind had heightened the redness of Hanzo’s nose and cheeks well before any alcohol had. It contrasted against the cold discernment of his dark brown eyes.

“I’m gonna answer your question with a question--” McCree started.

“Which isn’t an answer--”

McCree leaned back in his bar seat, folding his arms across himself. He almost looked sagely. “Are you asking this because you genuinely think it will help you get a gauge on your shit and move forward, or are you freaking out because things are going more okay than you think you deserve and feel a need to kick yourself square in the Rocky Mountain oysters?”

“Rocky Mountain--?”

“It’s this fried--I’m talking about--” McCree sighed and sipped his whiskey, “I’m saying you’re doing... you’re doing really well, Hanzo. You’re touching base with the team, reachin’ out, you seem to be sleeping and eating better, hell, you’re clutch on missions, but now you’re asking about this, and it worries me.”

“Why should it worry you?” Hanzo’s eyes narrowed.

“Because--y’know... I care about you. You’re a part of this team and I care about you... in a..” McCree cleared his throat, “Team-y way. And... you were stuck in a dark lonely place and I ain’t itchin’ to give you the means to go back there. ”

“But you can understand that the fact that I don’t have the full story distresses me more, can you not?” said Hanzo, “As well as the fact that knowing the more the truth of it is obscured with me, the worse I can assume the situation was.”

McCree scratched at his beard, frowning. “Yeah... yeah I can understand it--but I can also understand Mercy and Zen not spillin’ the beans on Genji’s account.”

“Mm...” Hanzo glanced off and sipped his own drink.

McCree twisted his glass slowly, “Then again, sometimes I think Reyes brought me on the team to begin with because I have a pretty high success rate with the whole, ‘Beg forgiveness before asking permission’ rate.”

Ana called you a charmer, the words almost slipped out of Hanzo but he wasn’t sure how they would land, so he held them in. Instead, Hanzo only mildly gestured at the bartender to refill McCree’s glass.

“Don’t think you’re getting it just because you’re gettin’ me drunk. It ain’t exactly a pretty story,” said McCree.

“I’m prepared,” said Hanzo.

McCree studied him a few moments longer, one hand still wrapped around his glass and one corner of his mouth pulled up with indecision before he closed his eyes and exhaled. “All right,” he said, “If only to keep you from kicking your own ass over what you don’t know.”

“I want you to start at the beginning,” said Hanzo, his stare steady.

“Well t’be fair, Blackwatch was casin’ Hanamura for months, even before your old man passed--er---my condolences--”

Hanzo snorted a little. “It’s... fine,” he said a bit awkwardly. He was more disarmed than really upset at the idea that McCree may have been far better versed in the activities of the Shimada Clan than he had really anticipated.

“Gérard, that is, our UN Attaché, had this whole thing about ‘pulling everything out to the light,’---And the fella was good at it. Could sniff out paper trails and track down dirty money like no other. The initial plan was to get Genji on possession charges and drag the whole clan out behind him. Your old man’s passin’--again, condolences--threw the whole schedule off though. And then we received additional intel that the Shimada dragons might be more.... uh... what’s the word for ‘unusual’ but it’s like... more business-y unusual?”

Hanzo shrugged.

“Un... Im... Uhhh.... Anomalous! That’s the word! Might be more anomalous than we thought and ‘warranting further investigation’ or whatever,” McCree seemed to be easing into the story now, plucking up details from debriefings, “SEP and all its affiliates had been more or less shut down post-Crisis, but there were still worries about human experimentation... strange abilities, and the like. And the dragon stories had been floating around your family for decades, but only when things got destabilized did we consider they might be more than stories. Then we got word that the wheels had been set in motion that the clan would kill Genji before we could get our hands on him--Arrest mission became extraction mission, and extraction mission became rescue mission. The time frame was so sudden we had to bring the Doc along because we thought she would be our best chance at saving him--She wasn’t in Blackwatch, you understand. Wasn’t too keen on undermining the Japanese government either. But... it turns out bringing her along was the right choice.”

Hanzo seemed to be maintaining a veneer of calm, but there was an unmistakeable new undercurrent of tension in his movements and expression as he sipped his own drink.

“You know what he looked like when you left him,” said McCree, “Do you really want me to go into the details there?”

“Yes,” said Hanzo.

McCree huffed and took another gulp of whiskey. The burn of alcohol rasped the first few words of his next sentence. “So it was me, Reyes, the Doc, and a handful of Blackwatch extraction medics touching down in Hanamura that night. Apparently the Shimada clan’s forces were decentralized from the castle. We infiltrated the castle grounds. Found a handful of your security already dead. Took out one more... left his body with the others. Didn’t have time to run a full investigation, or lock anything down. Finding Genji was the top priority. And we found him. Three limbs gone. Puddle of his own blood. Looked midway between... someone had dropped him in a garbage disposal but at the same time... not right--just... gone. The limbs were gone. The wounds were too clean but still bleedin’ out.”

Hanzo’s knuckles curled in, white and shaking as he took a steadying breath. “Consumed,” Hanzo said quietly, “The dragon consumed them.”

“I can stop--” McCree started.

“Finish what you start, Cowboy,” Hanzo’s voice was steady.

McCree swallowed. “I’d seen some fucked up shit under Reyes, but this... yeah, it was new. I kind of froze up, not quite scared, but just trying to make sense of it. But then I snapped out of it as the Doc rushed to him first. I had a vantage point in case other castle security showed up. Reyes was at the opening to that big-ass balcony so he could flag down our evac. So uh, what you need to understand here is that we uh... we actually had very little solid intel as to what the Shimada dragons were capable of.”

“...but I had left the scene well before this,” said Hanzo, trying to puzzle out the timeline of his own fleeing the castle grounds.

“Yeah it... wasn’t your dragon we saw,” said McCree, “See, the Doc, she had to do this... staff... defibrillation thing? I didn’t get a good look at it but Genji, he uh...started thrashin’ and this light sprang out of him. Bright green. Never seen anything like it. He was screaming. Next thing I know he’s grabbing Mercy’s neck.”

Hanzo flinched with some alertness. “What?”

“I mean--first instinct, I’m saying to Reyes, ‘Boss, I got a shot’--like, I know the mission was asset acquisition, but light show or not I wasn’t about to let him kill Angela, but then she hollers out ‘Don’t shoot him!’ And I’m stuck there looking to Reyes like, ‘You’re gonna override that, right?’ And... and Reyes was so calm... I--I could see him doing the math. Breaking people down to resources... breaking their deaths down to trade-offs...”

“You... thought you had to shoot Genji--” Hanzo’s brow was crinkling.

“If Reyes gave me the word,” McCree shrugged, then itched at the brim of his hat, “I never thought someone would hesitate on saving the doc like he was doing right there, though. But.... then she said something to Genji. Never asked what it was, but it seemed to calm him down before he passed out.”

“And you’re saying he grabbed her neck when they first met,” Hanzo’s eyes were narrowed, “But they’re...”

“Well, he was only half-conscious and in this full-on survival mode and she had just... jammed a huge amount of biotic-whatever into his chest. He didn’t know if she was helping or trying to... y’know it was like those times you nearly punched me in the face when I was trying to wake you up from those night terrors.”

“I’m sorry for that,” said Hanzo.

“Psh. If I had a nickel for every time someone took a swing at me out of some kind of traumatic reflex...” he smiled to try and make this seem more lighthearted than it actually was, but Hanzo seemed to still be processing everything, so McCree cleared his throat. “Word of advice, though, don’t make any ‘I guess you’re into that’ jokes with the doc,” he said with a nervous laugh, “No it uh... it took them both a while. I mean, there was this thing there, definitely, but yeah, they were both neck-deep in a whole bunch of shit for a while before they really acknowledged anything.”

“Did Genji take a swing at you?” asked Hanzo.

“Not outside of a Blackwatch sparring ring,” said McCree, “But Jesus, he was scary on the training floor. Still is, sometimes.” McCree paused for a few seconds. “He was obsessed with killing you, y’know. Taking down the whole clan and killing you. Every mission where he got a sniff of you, every mission he thought you might be there and you weren’t, he’d come back snarling.”

Hanzo blinked a few times and glanced down. He knew it made sense, given the idea of justice their family had ingrained in them, but there was still an odd sting to the idea. But I’m his brother, he thought, but then he thought, But that didn’t stop me.

McCree seemed to take Hanzo’s silence as permission to go on. “ I’d try to distract him... try to get his head out of his ass sometimes, but a lot of the time... you see any living thing in a state like that, all you can do is give it space. Genji did give us a decent amount of intel on the Shimada clan’s bigger operations... but when it came to actually getting in there... he was always the first one on the ground. As you can imagine, it was personal for him. There were a handful of bullshit ‘stakeouts’ in Japan where Genji would ditch me... I knew Reyes wasn’t telling me the whole story, then again, it wasn’t my job to know the whole story.” McCree sipped his drink. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t know what he was doing, though.”

“...killing heads of the clan,” Hanzo said quietly.

“Can’t exactly confirm or deny that but... yeah,” said McCree. A prickle of alarm seemed to go through him. “Look, I don’t want to kick off any more brother-killing fuckery--”

“You’re not, Jesse,” Hanzo’s voice was subdued, “I was the right hand of the clan... and the destruction wrought by Genji was, if anything, a product of my own actions.”

“Also his actions--He was fucking nightmare--I mean I liked him, but he was a fucking nightmare, sometimes. Lashed out--like... you didn’t really think of him as giving a shit about you with all that seething over the Shimada clan--- but then he’d know how to say something that hurts, and he knows exactly how it hurts, and you wouldn’t know if he learned how to hurt that bad from your family or just because he was hurtin’ that bad and---” McCree seemed to catch the alarmed look in Hanzo’s eyes, then took a steadying breath before sipping his drink again, “Look... this stuff... it’s all in the past. And he is a lot better now. And he is one of my best friends. Kind of wild how someone who hurt you that deeply can be a best friend like that, but... that’s kind of how life works. Kind of how this shit works when you don’t know if you’re coming back from that next mission. We’re all fucked up here. It’s about learning to take the fucked up parts of yourself and trying to make it into something that helps the people that mean something to you. ”

“The people that mean something to me...” Hanzo repeated quietly. He remembered McCree’s words from his second night on the watchpoint. ‘We’re all just background noise to you. You’re just here so you can stop kicking your own ass after Genji.’ Then he remembered Genji’s words. ‘Well... you’ve been traveling the world for a decade... has there... been anyone? Anyone special? Anyone you loved?’

“...I feel like I’ve let that part of me atrophy,” Hanzo said quietly. Answering Genji’s question, not McCree’s words.

“Atrophy?” McCree repeated.

“When you don’t use a muscle for a long time and... it ceases to be able to functi--”

“I know what ‘Atrophy’ means--” McCree wasn’t making eye contact, “You let... caring about other people... atrophy,” he parsed, trying to trace out Hanzo’s thought process.

“Mm,” Hanzo took a sip of his own drink, “So while I was wandering in grief, Genji was consumed by pain and rage.”

“Which... he’s told you,” said McCree.

“Well, yes, but he didn’t go into details,” said Hanzo, “I know, this might be difficult or painful to talk about, but I really do appreciate getting a more complete picture of what happened to him after my actions.”

McCree tilted his own glass back and forth on the bar counter, letting the whiskey rock around the interior.“I know, but...don’t heap all this on yourself. Reyes always said he wanted the cockroach motherfuckers, and he was more than happy to let Genji snap and swear and lash out and burn the house down because that suited Blackwatch’s agenda better than, I dunno, therapy? Only when we got benched after the Venice incident did he yank in Genji’s leash, because hey, it turned out having a PTSD cyborg tearin’ around the base cussin’ people out wasn’t a good look for Blackwatch.”

Hanzo huffed a little. There was an odd comfort in that. But then he paused, running over the course of McCree’s words in his mind. “...you keep bringing up Reyes,” Hanzo said, fixing his eyes on McCree.

“Sorry--I--I know this should be about Genji,” said McCree.

“No it... it gives some perspective,” said Hanzo, “You trusted Reyes, didn’t you?”

McCree’s mouth tightened for a few seconds before he drew in a short breath through his nostrils. “Yeah... yeah, I did. He just... I mean I’d keep telling myself I was my own person, that I did things with my own style, but so did he. So like... whether it’s ‘your own style’ from fuckin’ Santa Fe or Los Angeles... is there really that much of a difference? If you still picture yourself in their boots, give or take a decade or so?”

“Hm,” Hanzo was thoughtful at this, “I imagined myself in my father’s position so long that when everything came apart and I found myself wandering the world, dodging the clan’s assassins I felt... like a stranger.”

“Kind of liked being a stranger,” said McCree with slight shrug, “Stranger’s from nowhere. Got nothing to prove.... guess it probably hits different if you got a whole... magical crime lord prince destiny thing, huh?”

“The dragon is not magical,” said Hanzo flatly, but a smile was tugging at his lips.

“Debatable,” said McCree, “First of all: It’s a dragon.”

Hanzo snorted and a quiet pause passed between them. Not uncomfortable, but definitely tired, letting McCree’s words and all the pain and memory that came with them drift and dissipate into the warm air of the bar.

“...I could tell you more if you want,” said McCree, after a few beats. “I do have funnier stories... wasn’t all... ‘he was fucked up.’ And--Genji did seem to be getting better-ish towards the end there, once they put him on Tracer’s strike team... but by then Overwatch itself was coming apart.” He snorted. “I guess that’s kind of a running theme with this stuff.”

“I appreciate the offer,” said Hanzo with a slight chuckle. He paused. “Tracer’s strike team?”

“Well, she and Winston probably got more stories there than I do,” said McCree, “And maybe the doc, if it’s in good faith.” He sipped his drink. “You’re welcome to run off to try and ask them about it.”

“I think... this is enough for now,” said Hanzo. After a few beats he said, “You’re not... all background noise to me.”

“What?” said McCree.

“That... you said that on the second night,” said Hanzo, “It’s... it’s not that I don’t value life, or other people--I’m just... it’s been a very long time since I’ve worked with other people, since I’ve talked to other people on a regular basis like this, since I’ve stayed in one place this long, and...” he trailed off, then took a sip of his own drink with some resolve, “I’m afraid,” he said, letting those words sit in the air for a few seconds, “I’m afraid of lending my abilities to another organization that’s used people to hurt other people and then tossed them aside. When your only connection to other people for most of your life was this twisted blood loyalty...” Hanzo trailed off.

“I’m scared of makin’ the same mistakes too, for what it’s worth,” said McCree, “I don’t think fear like that ever goes away.”

“Redemption’s a bitch?” said Hanzo with a slight smile.

McCree broke into chuckles. “You should swear more often. I feel like that’ll help.”

“You’ve sworn plenty for the both of us, tonight,” said Hanzo crisply, sipping his own drink.

“Still, I’m gonna make it a mission to get a ‘fuck’ out of you,” said McCree and Hanzo choked and sputtered. “I didn’t mean it like that! You know what I mean!” McCree was laughing as Hanzo’s attention was split between choking and laughing and desperately looking around for a napkin after spitting his drink. The bartender swooped by with a napkin and the laughs boiled down into chuckles as Hanzo cleaned up a bit. There was another pause then, that same settling of understanding.

“Thank you,” Hanzo said after a few beats.

“You already thanked me--don’t know what’s worth thanking about saying ‘hey your brother was fucked up and so were we.’”

“Honesty. I appreciate honesty.”

McCree smiled and then shrugged.“Hey--y’know, for all the shit I give you,” McCree started and trailed off, “What I said that night about... all of us being background noise... I know that.. that wasn’t really fair. You really didn’t know any of us and, y’know, as far as the general public is concerned, we’re a whole bunch of mercenary weirdoes doing vigilante shit.”

“And Genji was the only person here I knew, and was really...” Hanzo sighed, “I suppose, I fixed him in my mind to be my last chance at humanity--and made myself out to be a monster to all of you in pursuing that.”

“Well... you’re doing better, I can tell you that much. And... y’know folks are warming up to you.”

“Except Angela,” said Hanzo, with a weary smile.

“She needs time on that... I wouldn’t try to force it,” said McCree, “Baby steps and all that.”

Hanzo huffed a little.

“Hey,” McCree lifted his glass, “To baby steps and runnin’ the hell away from all our old role models.”

“Indeed,” Hanzo clinked his glass against Genji’s. Both sipped their drinks and another pause passed over them. Hanzo felt McCree’s eyes on him and looked over at him.l

“Hey just so we’re clear,” McCree’s chin was in his hand, “I didn’t accidentally kick off some huge new bloody vengeance thing by telling you all this, right?”

“You did not,” said Hanzo with a wry smile.

“Oh thank god.”

#mchanzo #gency

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riskeith · 3 years

Note

omg hi. sorry i disappeared for a few days, been super busy with school. i missed you a lot. how have you been?

i haven’t had the need to eat any food since i got barbara and noelle on my team. if one of them can’t shield, the other comes in a clutch haha. *bows* thank you ladies for your service.

i’d pay hard earned money to see fanart with the boy scouts playing with guoba.. :( and YEAH. that would be so fitting? + it’s gonna be liyue themed which is super nice. do you know any predictions over which four stars will be in xiao’s banner? and who do /you/hope will be there?

last time i played three days ago unlocked dragonspine.. i even did albedo’s quest i can’t believe i defeat that evil place sjshdksk. meaning i got so some primogems and some intertwined fate. i’ve been itching to use some of the intertwined fates to get xiangling c rate up... should i?

october 20 is such a cute bday. you know how some dates just look nice? that’s one of them shskdhs. i want to say my birthday too but i feel like if anyone reads our messages they’ll know who i am... sorry. you’ll have to wait for that information until we privately talk some day. big promise. 🤍

ooh. you kind of wing it too, then! in some ways. if you’re not feeling it do you leave the fic for the day after or give up on it for a while? (so many question... shut up @ me) i’m the same as you! but i also write sometimes in the day time and i feel like that’s when i produce my best work. yesterday i was at a cafe studying and during a break i just started writing a fic and for some reason it just flowed so nicely? so yeah idk skdjdhsk. whenever it strikes i suppose.

i do borrow my books sadly. i kind of have to because i don’t have anymore place to put my books (we live in a small apartment) and books are kind of expensive :( i don’t mind borrowing though because i don’t really reread books unless they’re super special so it’s fine. do you buy yours? I HAVE READ LEGEND. i read it waaaay back in grade school haha, it’s been ages ago. i’ve never seen anyone say it’s their favorite but i can see why you feel that way. it’s kind of underrated in the community for sure.

dude fuck... chongyun and xingqiu live in my mind rent free. i kid you not i just can’t stop thinking about those boys... please send me all the fanart you find i’ll literally give you my life for that <3

i just listened to the g-idle song and AAA? wtf? i used to really like them while i was into kpop and this is so nostalgic to me. i haven’t listened to kpop in literally years shdkdhdk. this song is great thank you for sending it, do you like g-idle? <3

WAIT ARE YOU MAKING A SECOND ACC? I WAS LITERALLY CONSIDERING DOING ONE IN ASIA FOR YOU... shdjdhdjshsjsj our minds. and yes i’m in american server... oh god. our co-op date can happen? 🥺 but if it’s too much work for you i’ve seriously actually considered doing one in asia for me i’m totally fine with starting all over so.. 🥺

god i’ve missed talking to you so much. once again i’m sorry for not being here, but hopefully after tomorrow’s exam school will be a bit more chill and i’ll be yours again.

hope you’ve been well babe. mwah!

hi!! that’s alright ahah, i assumed that was the case. i’ve been well!! and then not so well bc we weren’t talking 🤪 needless to say i’ve missed you a lot too <333

omggg QUEENS!!! i don’t have any healers but i don’t eat food either... LMFAO unless it’s a boss fight i’ll just keep going until i’m done with whatever it is then go heal at a statue fsdhfkdjs

!!! brb just gonna go get good at art so i can draw that for u 😩 i don’t have any predictions myself, but i’ve seen people say it’ll be ningguang + beidou + barbara possibly?? but of course, i would hope that xingqiu was there <3333 he can appear twice in a row come on mhy <3333 just think about that <333 and omggg i’d wish if chongyun came as well.. i really want to get him to c6 (but he was only two banners ago?) hbu do you have any thoughts on the matter~

AHAHAH good job im proud of you 😤😤 show that nasty place who’s boss!! if you want to, I don’t see why not! it’ll get you closer to pity as well so by the time venti is near, hopefully it won’t take you much to get him! lmk how it goes!!!! manifesting c6 xiangling for you 🔥

fhskdf thank you... is it weird to say i agree? FHDSKFHSDKFKJ like. 20/10 or 10/20... nice even multiples of ten numbers.. AHAHAH. no need to apologise at all!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍 share whatever you’re comfortable with whenever you’re comfortable <33

hm it depends. (i just reaslised i said this exact phrasing last time too lmfao) i think i usually give up on it for a while? but sometimes i try to force myself through it too, just to get over that section so i can hopefully move on to a better one wait sorry i misread your question LOL. i usually leave it for the day as opposed to give up on it for a while! if i’m actively working on something i’d prefer to continue working at it slowly, even if the progress is just me opening the doc and then exiting after 5 mins fhdskj. are you the same? (NO!!! DO NOT SHUT UP @ YOU i never get to talk about writing processes pls im enjoying this a lot)

nice!! the vibes when writing during the day are sometimes better as well, bc it’s still light and stuff you’re not sitting in the dark or with a light on.. lol. it’s more ~natural~ & omg legendary... i love that for you!! on that note, do you usually study at school/cafes/libraries? i pretty much can only study at home, i hate doing it anywhere else.

ahh that’s fair :( and yeah i agree books can get so expensive? like the authors def deserve to be compensated for all their hard work but damn lmao. oh that’s a good point! i do buy books yeah, and i don’t even necessarily reread them i just like having them on the shelf fhdskfd (there are many i haven’t even read for the first time... oops.) what ages do grade school cover? sorry i have no idea what that means fhsjfkshsdkjs the different names for education levels will never not confuse me. !! yeah i really wish legend was more popular aaaaa

here are some recent arts i’ve bookmarked!! (rip i should find one more so every word is linked but cbs hfskdhfs) i’m also considering making a genshin twitter! idk why i’m so averse to following these amazing accs on my normal account lmaoo but i’m also thinking of posting pics from the 52485 photoshoots i do with chongyun..

oh nice!!! i’m really happy you liked it 🥰🥰🥰 and yeah i do like g-idle but i don’t stan them! that’s me with most groups tbh fshkfjsd but i do watch most of their MVs when they first come out~

FSHFKJSDHFKSD wait what if.. this but it’s us surprising each other in the other’s servers <33 and if i’m telling you the truth... i kinda despise the idea of playing in am*rica server FHSDKJFHSDKFHSDKKDSHFKSDHKKJ but we could compromise and both start again in europe?? ahah let me know what you think! if you’re happy to just do one in asia tho that’s fine as well~

me too!! and no worries for real, school comes first!! (even if it fkn sucks... @ school i hate you. i say, when i’m still on holidays FHDSKJFJS) aaaa good luck on your exam!!! i hope you smash it 💪💪

also um “and i’ll be yours again”??!?!?!?!? be still my beating heart 😩😩😩😩 i shall be waiting for you wifey hehe

hope you’ve been taking care of yourself!! kisses, c.r.

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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florenceisfalling · 4 years

Note

31. “I’m not superstitious.” with Henrik and whoever!

hfkljsdklf im still not sure how i feel about this?? but might as well stop procrastinating it haha, hope you like it!!

this is my second request for 31 so sorry if its a lot like the other one fksdjfl

Marvin leans over and nudges Henrik’s smallest potted plant to the side, lifting the key underneath. He shoves it into his coat pocket and rolls his eyes. After all the wild things they’ve been through, most of the egos let Marv make better places for their keys and important belongings, magic hideaways only designated people could access. But not Schneep - “unnecessary,” he said. His stubbornness has a tendency to override his intelligence.

Bracelets clang and jingle together as he lifts his arm to the keyhole. With a creak, the door opens, and the sound of shattering soon follows.

Mild panic, if that’s the term for it, tugs at Marv’s features. “Henrik?” he calls out, letting magic start to rush to his fingertips.

All that comes in response is a string of German curses, ended by a grumbled “Marvin.”

The magician compels his hands, and the power within them, to cool. “Henrik.”

Once again, the door has creaked closed, and Marvin makes his way to the source of the noise.

Still wearing the clothes he slept in, the doctor stands in his bedroom, rubbing at his eyes and making incoherent noises of frustration. Beside his feet, a hand mirror sits in broken pieces on the floor.

“How’d that happen?”

“I… I punched it.” Henrik mutters, while setting his glasses back on his face. “Aiming for my alarm clock. Off button.”

Marv bursts into laughter and puts his arm against the wall to stable himself. “Oh my gods. Not quite sure if punching is the suited word for that, but- oh my gods.”

Henrik gives him a gentle shove, before running calloused fingers through his own hair to fix the disheveled look. It does not help.

“You know, Hen,” Marvin begins, “I was simply dropping by to return your books, but now, I figure I might have to stay a while, lend you some help.”

“Why’s that?”

“You broke a mirror, of course! Plenty of bad luck for you, sir.”

Schneep groans and pushes past him. “I do not believe in that.”

Marvin giggles, following his friend into the kitchen. “What, Lady Luck? Or just in this circumstance?”

“I believe you’re a… jester?” Henrik tries, glancing back at Marv. The magician seems to be almost glowing, his eyes shining. His colorful sweater and excessive jewelry are a sharp contrast to the kitchen, which is cast in blues and devoid of any sort of decor. Distracted, the doctor snaps back to his focus on name-calling. “Wait, wait, no. A fool, that’s it.”

“How unkind,” Marvin sarcastically responds as he grabs two coffee mugs.

“Hm, but maybe I could incorporate some jester aesthetic into my next stage outfit, channel some Harley Quinn, I’m sure Jackie’d love it…” he jokes, pushing a mug into the doctor’s hand. “Oh, Henrik, bless you! My muse!”

Henrik chuckles, making the coffee, and Marvin hops up on the counter to watch. It smells amazing, and he rests his head gently back against the tiles on the wall. Peaceful.

“Doc, I believe there is a severe need to redecorate this place.”

“…Yes.” Carefully, he hands Marv a cup, and leans back on the counter beside him.

They both take slow sips. “You never answered my question, before. Do you not believe in that kind of thing, darling doctor?”

Schneep chuckles. “Nein.”

A wink, and then illusions are dancing along the magician’s fingertips, like tiny fractals of fireworks. “Are you certain, love?”

Henrik grumbles into his coffee mug, and follows with a nod.

The colorful lights vanish in a flash. A playful smirk spreads across Marvin’s face as he bounds across the house to the living room couch. “What is this, then? What are we who are ego, character, fiction?” His tone lightens as he obnoxiously flails his arms. “Dimension-hopping? An anomaly in space-time?”

Henrik is silent, but a smile starts to grace his features as well as he leaves the kitchen and sits on the sofa next to Marvin, rolling his eyes.

Marvin breaks into a dramatic falsetto. “Tell me! Have pity on my foolish mind, and give me a glimpse into the genius mind of Dr. Henrik von Schneeplesti-”

One more well-meaning shove from the doctor, and Marv ungracefully tumbles from couch to floor. Luckily, his coffee is sitting on a side table, rather than now spilled out across the room.

“What, magic man? All your power and you can’t fly?” Henrik kids, before reaching out a hand to help him up from his predicament.

Marvin hangs his head, admitting mock defeat. “Perhaps not.”

As they sit together, awkwardly sprawled out across the cushions, Marv yanks Henrik’s smudged glasses right off his face, intent on cleaning them.

Schneep sighs, blinking, letting his eyes adjust while his guest scrubs away at the lenses he holds.

“I never said I do not believe in… whatever you are,” Henrik sighs. “I just do not… I am not su.. supernat- no, wrong -”

“Superstitious?” Marvin offers, inspecting the glasses in the sunlight that streams through the shutters.

“I am not superstitious. I do not think that black cats make life difficult, or anything of that sort.”

The magician laughs, sloppily planting the glasses back on Schneep’s face. “Black cats are only bad luck if you’re cruel to them. That’s why I’m so lucky: I’ve got all those sweet little kittens I take care of.”

“You are not lucky, you are stubborn for what you want.”

“You’re one to talk!”

Henrik snorts and straightens his glasses. “Maybe.”

“But no, you’re right, you’re right,” Marv admits. “I don’t think the universe decides our fate based off such little things, either. Mirrors, numbers, umbrellas… they’re insignificant compared to the course of life. I believe everything happens for a reason, a real reason. A scheme, if you will.”

“I do not understand that,” Henrik speaks, his voice suddenly low. “What about th- the time I spent gone with… h-him - or… or Chase’s… incident? Everything… awful. What kind of reason fixes those? Not fair.”

Marvin draws closer to his friend. “Never said it was a good reason. The universe often can be cruel and uncaring, and the exchanges aren’t always fair. But the reason’s still there, and you’re still a part of it. It’s comforting, I think, to know you’re important - even if it’s the unpleasant kind of important.”

Henrik fidgets with the tag on the edge of one of his throw pillows. “Maybe, sure. Important.”

“You’re important to me, at the very least,” Marvin sighs, then grins again. “Maybe you need a black cat, Henrik. One to take care of, see if Lady Luck really does watch the little things.”

Henrik proceeds to violently swing the throw pillow at Marvin’s face.

#lotsa dialogue in this one #kinda bleh about it #fic requests #my writing #my fics #my ego posts #my ego hcs #henrik von schneeplestein #marvin the magnificent #jse egos #ALSO HOW DID THIS END UP BEING LONGER THAN SOME OF MY SCHOOL ESSAYS

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timeoutforthee · 5 years

Text

Like It or Not-Chapter 20

Taglist: @itsausernamenotafobsong, @sea-blue-child, @iaminmultiplefandoms, @princeanxious, @uwillbeefoundtonight, @zaidiashipper, @arandompasserby, @levyredfox3, @falsett0, @error-i-dunno-what-went-wrong, @scrapbookofsketches, @podcastsandcoffee, @helloisthisusernametaken, @amuthefunperson, @michealawithana, @yamihatarou, @heck-im-lost, @unlikelynightmareconnoisseur, @idkaurl, @bubblycricket, @fnp-alizay, @neonbluetiefling, @comicsimpson, @a-little-bit-of-ace

Summary: Logan, Patton, Roman, and Virgil are all struggling in their recovery. Their doctors, Thomas Sanders and Emile Picani think they can help each other out.

Aka Group Therapy AU

Trigger Warnings: purging (skip from "why did he bother?" to "are you okay?"), reference to child abuse

Read it on AO3!

“How’d your session go?” Violet asks. She always asks, as soon as Virgil shuts the door to the car, before he can put on his headphones. He never answers with anything besides-

“Fine,” he says, immediately pulling out his iPod. Then he pauses.

Violet glances over at him as they pull out of the parking lot.

“I mean…,” Virgil wants to put it off. A part of him wants to think that if he puts it off enough, he might just forget. But he knows better.

Like a band-aid, he tells himself, Just rip it off.

“It went better than the last session,” Virgil admits.

“Really?” Violet asks, trying to keep her tone steady, “What happened last session?”

A part of her tells her not to press, that it’s going to end in a growl and silence, but instead Virgil sighs.

“I told Dr. Picani about Dad.”

“Really?” she still keeps her tone steady, though she’s having a much more difficult time now.

“Not everything,” Virgil says quickly, “But you know...I told him that Dad used to hit me.”

Violet thinks back. She doesn’t think Virgil has said those words out loud to anyone, ever. Not even her, even though she obviously knew.

“I haven’t told anyone else, not even the guys in group, maybe I will eventually, but I-” Virgil cuts himself off, shoving his iPod back in his pocket. If he was going to do this, he had to commit.

“I still don’t like to tell people,” he admits, “Like it was the secret I had to protect, to take to the grave, and now there’s no point.” And it’s my fault.

Violet’s heart twists at how loyal Virgil still is to his dad. She knows how hard it is to walk away, to stay away, to realize they let you down, and in such a cruel way. A part of her brain latches on to “to take to the grave,” and she wonders if Virgil was planning on that being soon.

“It’s amazing you felt comfortable enough to tell him,” she says, tucking all that away for now.

“I wouldn’t call it amazing-”

“I would,” Violet says, immediately, offering no room for argument.

“So, you said this session was easier, what did you talk about this time?”

“Goals, mostly,” he says, “And Roman was talking about his brother, about how he was trying...and it kinda made me think about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah...look,” Virgil tugs a hand through his hair. “I know you’re trying. A lot harder than should be expected of you, and I...I really appreciate it. Even though I don’t show it. It’s just...hard for me. It’s hard and I don’t know why.”

“I appreciate you saying that,” Violet says, “But the thing I want you to understand is I want to try this hard, whether it “should be” expected or not, you’ve been through a lot-”

“It wasn’t that bad-”

“You’ve been through a lot,” she repeats, using her “I’m not fucking around” voice, “And...I could’ve made it easier all those years ago, and I didn’t,” she swallows, still attempting to keep her voice even. The last thing Virgil needs is for her to start crying on him, “And I can’t go back and fix that. The best thing I can do now is be here for you, when you’re ready.”

They pull into the apartment complex and she glances over at Virgil. He finally tears his eyes away from the front window and looks back at her. They sit there a second, and Virgil smiles at her.

“Thanks,” he says, simply, and with that, they head upstairs.

He should have said no, he should have said no, what the fuck was he thinking-

“Roman, are you okay?” Max asks, as he climbs into the driver’s seat.

“Fine,” his voice shakes.

Max thought it would be a good idea to go out for dinner, since everyone at home had probably already eaten. Roman was also pretty sure this was his form of an apology for their previous conversation, so how could he say no? He thought he could handle it, he had handled the pizza before. He’d probably find something on the menu that was at least a bit healthy.

But when the food came there was just so much of it. He felt like everyone was staring at him. He should have saved some, but he was just so hungry. He could feel everyone’s eyes staring at him while he ate, he must have looked like an animal.

“Are you sure?” Max asks, “You barely ate anything during dinner.”

….what?

“I just...don’t feel so great,” Roman says. It’s not a complete lie. His goal for the week flashes in his head, but he can’t do that. Not yet.

“Okay, well,” Max says, pulling out of the parking lot. “We’re only about fifteen minutes from home.”

Thankfully, those fifteen minutes pass quickly, and when they get home, Roman bolts up the stairs to the bathroom.

He’s sweating. He can still taste it on his tongue, and it fills him with regret. Why did he bother?

A thought comes to him. He has to get rid of it. He has to.

Before he can think about it too much, he turns to the toilet and shoves his finger back his throat. The response is almost immediate.

Better is not the word Roman would use to describe how he’s feeling. Gross is probably more accurate, but to be fair, he felt gross before, too. So, this scenario was definitely better.

“Ro?”

Oh, shit.

“Are you okay?” Max calls, because of course it’s fucking Max. “I thought I heard you throwing up.”

Roman flushes to give himself time to think. Then he washes his hands to stall even longer. Then he pauses for just a little longer, hoping he can maybe wait him out. But, nope, when he opens the door, Max is still standing there.

“Are you okay?” he repeats, his hand going to Roman’s forehead. Roman shoves his hand away.

“Who are you? Mom? I’m fine,” Roman says, trying to brush it off quickly. “I guess the food just wasn’t that great.”

“...oh,” Max says, as if he’s disappointed, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Roman says, trying to reassure him. “It happens.”

“You’re right, it just sucks,” Max says, turning back down the hall. He’s about to disappear down the stairs when he pauses and turns around, “But you’re sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Roman says, smiling.

Here’s the thing: Patton loves everybody. And he doesn’t get hung up on shallow things, like appearances. He loves everybody, and he loves everybody’s body. Whether they were thin or fat, or tall or short, covered in freckles or clear-skinned, he thought everyone was beautiful.

Everyone, that is, except for himself.

When it came to himself, he hated everything.

“Patton?” Thomas asks. Patton snaps his head up and immediately smiles. “I asked what you like about yourself. What are some things you can think about for your affirmations?”

“I don’t know, doc, don’t you think affirmations are a little silly?”

“No,” his therapist responds, uncharacteristically serious, “I think they work.”

“Oh...okay, well-how do they work?”

“It’s an attempt to retrain your brain, right now you probably have a lot of shame and such surrounding yourself, and you can talk badly to yourself, so affirmations are a way to add positivity back to that mix, to try and even out the playing field a bit.”

“Ah, so what if I don’t talk badly to myself?”

“Well, then I would have to ask why you’re bingeing and purging in the first place?”

“I haven’t done that!” Patton lies, “Not recently, anyway.”

“I’m sorry, I misspoke, why did you start bingeing and purging in the first place?”

And, really, Patton can’t remember, it’s been so long.

“I...don’t remember.”

“Okay, I know it’s been a while, but try and think back to when you were using these behaviors. How’d you feel right before they happened?”

“I don’t think I was feeling much of anything,” It’s not a lie. Patton always feels numb when he starts. Then regret sets in after.

“Then let’s start here,” Thomas says, turning to grab a binder. As he flips through the pages, he continues talking, “Because numbness is not the lack of emotion. It’s what happens when you’re feeling so overwhelmed that your defense is to shut it all down.”

“Really?”

“Yep,” Thomas says, “Here it is. There are other emotions we can look at, but I think that this one may be the most accurate.”

At the top of the worksheet, the title is “Shame.”

As Patton reads through the “symptoms,” he finds that more and more fit when he wakes up at night, right before he binges.

“You see, in the simplest terms, shame is when we feel like we’ve done something bad, and therefore we are a bad person.”

“So, what would I do?”

Thomas flips a few more pages and lands on one that says “Check the facts.”

“You would do this,” he says, “You would see if your emotions and intensity fit the facts.”

“And if they didn’t…?”

“You would do the opposite action, which is exposing the thing that you think you should be ashamed of, in a safe space, where people won’t reject you,” Thomas says. “Here, let’s break it down a little bit.”

Thomas lays out all the different ways to interpret an action, about how you would check the facts objectively, but the trick is you have to be honest about the way you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it.

“So, in theory, if I were still bingeing and purging, this could stop it?”

“DBT and CBT is helpful for many patients, so I think it’s worth a try,” Thomas says, “And you have plenty of people who are safe to talk to, Patton. You have me, the group, and your mom. Do you think you could talk to one of them if you’re feeling ashamed?”

“I...I guess I could,” Patton goes quiet, “Hey, Dr. Sanders?” his voice quivers a bit.

“Yes?”

“I...I lied. I’m sorry. But I haven’t stopped. I never stopped.”

A few tears fall down his face. He’s met with silence, so he looks up and sees his therapist giving him a gentle smile.

“That’s okay, Patton,” he says, “We can work on it.”

Patton takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. “Okay.”

#like it or not #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders

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bizarrewritings-blog · 6 years

Text

Better Man - B.B.

Youngblood Series

Bucky Barnes x reader

'Darling, all of my wrongs, they led me right to you. Wrapped in your arms, I swear I'd die for your love.'

Modern Day!AU

Word count: 2,789

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Very light smut

The cool air hit his skin as he watched the smoke leave his mouth and slowly fade away into the night. A view on his watch told him it was already past 3am, 'The best time.' He thought to himself, pressing his cigarette out with his foot before stepping back into the nightclub. It's where he spend most of his weekends, getting wasted before a night of fun with a random women, sometimes even man, if he was drunk enough. It was his getaway, it was what he needed. He accepted it as his life.

"Thank god Barnes, I thought you've already left!" The bartender, Dean, called as Bucky neared, a grin on his face. "You see a girl on my arm?" He held up his right arm to demonstrate the lack of company. "I'm not leaving without some fun." The bartender gave him a knowing grin, pouring him another Whiskey.

Bucky turned in his chair, taking a sip from his glass as he let his eyes wander across the dance floor. Many people always left around 2:30am, leaving only the ones who could handle a lot in the club. Those were the ones he lusted over.

His gaze landed on a brunette, dancing with a couple of friends. She wore a tight, strapless dress which showed the perfect curve of her ass and boobs. Her make up was a little much for his liking, but he didn't really care. Bucky bit his bottom lip, smiling. He found his victim.

After downing his drinks, he made his way over to the women. The bass was strong in his ears, his vision a little blurry thanks to the alcohol pumping through his veins. There was still a mass of people he had to push through until he arrived his destination, his hands immediately landing on her hips as he pressed himself against her. A faint gasp left her lips, barely audible over the music, making him smirk. Thankfully, she didn't seem to have anything against a stranger so close to her, moving their bodies to the music together. She suddenly turned around, her arms snaking around his neck as she grinned at him. Damn she was a bold one and Bucky couldn't help but lick his lips.

Their dancing quickly grew into something more as one of her hands knotted itself in his long locks, tugging lightly, making him groan. She was already rubbing her crotch against his thigh lightly and his pants got tighter by the second. Then her lips found his and he kissed her hungrily, they're tongues fighting for dominance as they still ground against each other. His lips left hers, leaning to her ear. "Yours or mine?" He asked, his teeth grazing the skin of her neck. "None of that." She answered, making him look at her in confusion. She just bit her lip and grinned, pulling him from the dance floor and out of the club.

She led Bucky into a dark, narrow alley right beside the club. Without a word she pressed him against the wall, her lips landing on his again. But he pushed her away lightly by her hips. "You want to do it here?" He asked, not sure if he wanted it or not. But the possibility of denying her wish vanished as he bit her lip and nodded. He growled, turning them around to shove her against the wall before he picked her up, her legs around his waist as they made out again. Bucky ground himself against her crotch, both of them moaning quietly at the friction.

"Veronica?!" A horrified voice made them break away from each other, the girl almost falling to the ground in the process. A group of girls stood infront of the alley, all of them shocked expressions. "We searched everywhere for you! You can't just leave!" The same girl said, still shocked. "Especially not with him." Another girl added, a disgusted look on her face as he eyed Bucky. His jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring. "Im sorry." The girl he just made out with simply said, flattening out her dress before leaving with the rest of the group.

Bucky groaned in annoyance, shifting the crotch of his jeans to make his erection less obvious. As he turned to leave the alley, he was met with one of the girls from the group which apparently hasn't left as she leaned against the wall, a grin on her face. "What's so funny?" He snapped, his eyes narrow. She chuckled. "I've seen you a couple times here. Fun to see you not succeed for once, Barnes." He looked at her in suprise. "You know my name?" She nodded. "Everyone knows your name. The first person they have to go to when they need a simple fuck from a guy who doesn't care about them. The mysterious, long haired man with the prosthetic arm." She shrugged. He narrowed his eyes again, his arms crossing in front of his chest as he stared at her, a grin forming on his lips. "You're one of those?" That made her laugh.

"No, no definitely not. You have to take me out on a date at least once before getting into my pants." He bit his lip, still grinning. "Deal." She just shook her head, smiling. "Never gonna happen, Barnes. I only sleep with real guys, not the ones trying to lift their ego by sleeping with strangers." She waved off, turning away from him, ready to leave. "Wait!" She stopped, looking back at him. "You know my name. It's only fair if i get to know yours as well." He grinned. She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Y/N." She left without another word, leaving him alone in the dark. He shook his head, laughing in disbelief before lighting a cigarette. He made his way home, no desire in trying to get another person to go home with him after what just happened.

After another week of pushing through his work, he found himself back in the club, sitting at the bar. But this time, he was searching for one exact person. "Everything alright with you?" Dean asked. "You already waved three girls off. They were practically throwing themselves on you. Do i have to call a doc?" Bucky chuckled, nipping on his drink. "I'm waiting for someone." Deans eyebrows raised high. "Do not tell me James Barnes had found the woman of his dreams." Bucky cringed slightly at hearing his real name, but played it off by smiling and shaking his head. "It's not that. She interrupted me and a girl last weekend and she acted all bold and stuff. I kinda liked it." He shrugged. "So you 'trynna get in her pants?" Dean asked grinning, making Bucky laugh. "Always do." He lifted his drink before taking a sip, letting his gaze wander across the room again.

Then he spotted you. You were sitting on one of the small leather couches in one of the corners with a guy very close to you. You looked uncomfortable, trying to shove him away while he tried to get closer. "Time to play the hero." He said to himself before getting up to walk up to you. He could here you say "Fuck off, i mean it." as he neared, but the guy wasn't buying it. "Come on, don't tell me you don't want my face between your legs." The man said with a dirty grin as your face scrunched up in disgust. "Hey, she told you to get lost." Bucky yelled over the music as he stood infront of you. The guy immediately looked at him, pissed off at the interruption. "What do you care?" He snapped, standing up to look intimidating. Bucky only chuckled, the guy was half a head shorter and not nearly as broad as him.

"Just making sure girls don't get hit on by Pervs like you." He explained, making the other man laugh. "Who are you do judge, Barnes? You even fuck guys. At least I'm not a faggot like you." Buckys jaw clenched as he tried to ignore the last comment. "At least, I make sure the people I fuck are okay with what I do to them." He challenged as he stepped closer, now towering over the guy while staring down at him. "Now get your ass away from that girl, or I'll kick it out of here if i have to." A grin formed on his face. "Or maybe I'll fuck it. You're quite my type." That was a complete lie, but it was enough to earn a disgusted "What the fuck." from the guy before he left.

Bucky looked down at you with a smile, only to be greeted by an annoyed look. His smile fell. "What? I just helped you get that dude off you." You rolled your eyes. "I was fine." "No you weren't." He argued, his left brow rising. "Come on, let me get you a drink." He stuck his hand out towards you. You just scoffed at him. "You think just because you got that guy away from me I'll sleep with you, mh? Because men can't help a woman just to be nice." You stood up, ignoring his hand as anger pumped in your veins. You stormed past him, not noticing that he was following you until you were outside.

"Hey, wait. Please." Bucky carefully took your arm, making you turn around to face him. "What's your matter with me? What did I do for you to hate me so much?" You bit your lips, your eyes on the ground. You couldn't tell him that you had the biggest crush on him since you first saw him, and how he broke your heart by leaving with a different person every weekend. "I just can't stand people like you." You shrugged, making him furrow his brows in confusion. "People like me?" "Yeah. People, guys like you. Who have Sex with complete strangers and feel like they're the King of the world." You took a breath, still not meeting his gaze. "You don't care about love and emotions. All you know is Sex. And it pisses me off." Bucky still stared at you in disbelief. "Why do you care? Did we have Sex and I forgot about you? If that's the case, I-" "See, all you care about." You interrupted him, rolling your eyes. "Everything seems to be about Sex with you. Everything else is unimportant." He huffed out a laugh, making you look at him.

"I've just never found the right person." He shrugged, making your jaw slacken a little. He smiled at you before pressing his lips together. "No drink, i accept that. Maybe dinner? Tomorrow evening?" You let your gaze drop again, debating whether or not it was a good idea. "Come on, give me a chance. Just one. Please." He begged, a pleading look on his face. You sighed; You would never win this.

"Alright." A bright smile formed on his lips. "Awesome! Here's my number, just text me your address and I'll pick you at six." He winked at you, turning around to enter the club again. "Wait, you're not getting in there to get another girl, are you?" You asked, trying not to show how disappointed his actions made you. He just chuckled. "Nope, just downing the drink i payed for and Dean looked after. Not gonna talk to a single woman on my way, i promise!" He called before disappearing into the building. You bit your lip to prevent yourself from grinning in relief.

The Date went great. Bucky actually picked out a nice restaurant, nothing too fancy but not too casual too. This was the first time you saw him in something other than a T-Shirt as he wore a black, buttoned up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. You didn't even think he owned something like that.

You also found out that he could talk about other things apart from Sex and Woman. He joked a lot, almost making you choke on your Spaghetti one time because you laughed so hard. The look on his face when you talked about your family and pets were pure fondness, the soft smile never leaving his lips. "You look especially pretty when you talk about things you love." He pointed out, grinning as you blushed.

When you both finished and he payed, you told him you needed the restroom. Bucky nodded, telling you he'd be outside and wait. When you joined him shortly after, he had a cigarette between his lips, smiling at you. When he saw the distressed look on your face he took it back in between his fingers, blowing the smoke in the opposite direction of which you were standing as his brows furrowed. "Is something wrong?" You shrugged, your eyes on the item in his hand. He followed your gaze, lifting his hand. "Not a fan of cigarettes?" You shook your head. "My dad used to smoke around me all the time. It was disgusting." Bucky just chuckled before shrugging. "Alright." He let his cigarette drop on the ground, stepping it out before reaching into the pocket of his leather jacket, pulling out the half full pack to throw it into the garbage can behind him. You just stared at him while he grinned at you. "Don't need them." He shrugged as you just slowly shook your head. "You really want to get into my pants." You murmured. His face fell at your words.

"You still think it's just about Sex?" You instantly regretted your words as you saw his disappointed face. "No, no, i swear. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I was really suprised that you would just throw them away like that." A grin made it's way back onto Buckys face. "I want to prove that I'm serious about this. About you." He smiled softly, making your heart flutter.

The two of you continued talking as he drove you home. He was so sweet and polite to you, and you really didn't want to get out as you arrived at your apartment complex. "The evening was nice. Thank you." You smiled at him. "Anytime." He smiled back. Then you just looked at each other, neither of you wanting this day to end.

"Am I allowed to kiss you?" He suddenly asked, a slight blush covering his cheeks. You chuckled at him. "Do you always ask for permission?" He shook his head. "But I don't want you to think I'm moving too fast or something." He smiled slyly. The gentleman-like Bucky was a whole new experience, but you loved it. "You're allowed to." He smiled in relief before leaning over to you, his lips inching closer. "Tell me when I'm going too far." He whispered and you nodded. Then his lips touched yours, and your eyes immediately closed as you leaned in to kiss him properly. You sighed into the kiss as his right hand fell to the back of your head, his metal one searching your own on your thigh to wrap his around it. Goosebumps covered your entire body as a firework of emotions went off in your stomach, and you couldn't help but smile into the kiss.

Half a year later, the Bucky you used to know was gone. He hasn't been to a club in months, spending as much time as possible with you. He had only smoked two more cigarettes after he had thrown his away infront of you, but soon enough he had stopped completely. He also didn't drink alcohol every weekend, maybe a beer here and there but nothing too much. He had changed, for you.

"You know, I always thought my life was perfect." He said one night while you were at his apartment, cuddled up together while watching some movies. You lifted your head from his chest to look at him, his eyes still on the TV. "What do you mean?" "Going out every weekend." He continued. "Hooking up with random people, drinking and smoking. I thought it was great." He stopped to look at you, the soft smile you loved so much on his lips. "But then I met you, and i know i lied to myself the whole time. This right here, having you next to me. That's the perfect life I was searching for all this time." You smiled brightly at him, pushing yourself up to kiss him passionately. He had become a better man, thanks to your help. And he had no desire to go back to how his life was before you met.

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Madison Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 53706

"Madison Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 53706

Madison Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 53706

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Im buying my first car. Im just looking for vehicles at the moment and ive never had insurance. Anyone been in this situation and can help me out?

Where can I get the best Auto Insurance Quotes?

My semi-annual auto insurance renewal is coming up. I've shopped before and I think I'm already getting a damn good rate, but still I'd like to try to get an even better rate. I've tried both Geico and Progressive, and both quoted me over $200 higher per year than I already pay. Any other good suggestions? This would be for coverage in California.""

How much does no claims effect your car insurance?

Ive just had my windows smashed and was wondering whether or not it would be better to just pay for the windows to be repaired rather than go through insurance. I estimate 700 for the windows. I am 19 and have 2 years no claims, any ideas what the best course of action is?""

Question about car insurance.?

Hi there I bought a car that is about 100 miles away, and is in another state. I will get a ride there to pick it up. But what do I do about insurance do I get some or other temp. insurance to drive it back to my home town? or do I get insurance where I buy it? What is the procedure in this case? Thank you""

Madison Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 53706

How to get a temporary car insurance?

my friend would like to come to the UK buy a car and then go back to Hungary , So for the time until he gets back to Hungary how to get a car insurance for that 1 or 2 days , and how to inform the DVLA ( if he has to inform them (i am not sure ) ) that the car left the UK ? Thank you for answers""

Question on car insurance?

i have progressive and i was wondering if i would be able to swtich my insurance from one car to a different one. my current car got its sub frame pretty bent up and theres no fixing it. so im looking for a diff car. so when i do get my other car. will i be able to switch my insurance over to the new one?

Ideal cheap car for beginners?

I'm looking for a used car with a cheaper insurance that would be ideal for a new driver. Any suggestions?

""If I get a ticket, does my insurance rate go up?""

As a new driver I am unsure about ticket and insurance policy. Also, will I get points off. What are points?""

""How do you purchase a car without insurance, and how do you get insuracnce with out a car?""

I left my insurace expire, and noe I need to get insurance, but I don't know what car i'm going to get, so which comes first, the insurance or the car?""

What does a good student car discount mean?

like, what grades qualifies for a good student. I've looked on a lot of insurance pages and it doesn't say what grades means your a good student please help!""

""I would like to get my insurance license in the state of CA, and I need to know how to start?""

I would like to get my insurance license in the state of CA, and I need to know how to start?""

What is the AVERAGE cost of surgery to fix a varicocele without insurance in the midwest?

I have a varicocele in my left testicle. I have no medical insurance. How much does this operation cost to fix it? I know it will vary, but i want to know the AVERAGE out of pocket cost. This is in a midwest state.. Also, would doctors offer a payment option?""

What are the insurance laws for cars in storage in Oregon?

I do not want to drive my car. I will just have it sitting in a garage at a relative's house. I've read from numerous people, that you don't need insurance if the car is ...show more""

Car accident without insurance but not at fault?

car accident without insurance but not at fault car parked in driveway and other car swerved into drive way and hit my car can I sue them , there was a witness, and a police ...show more""

Do motorcycle riders have to have insurance?

I know car drivers have to but I'm a kid who doesn't have a lot of money and I'm looking for a low-cost way to get around, so I was just wondering.""

I'm buying a used car from a private owner. Will I need to have insurance before I purchase the car?

I've never had insurance before. Should I call insurance agencies before I get the car? Get quotes/etc? I won't know if I'm going to buy the car until I see it.

""Car Insurance for young drivers, first car. Helpppp!!!?""

I passed my driving test 3 months ago, my sister passed hers last week, we're both 19. We are now looking for a small, cheap car to share, with one of us being the main driver and an additional named driver. We've looked at a KA 1.3 ltr engine 2003 W reg 3 door hatchback. After getting quotes from a few companies it's clearly going to be expensive to get insured. Could anybody please point me in the right direction for affordable insurance for young drivers?! Thankyou!""

What is the required age for a young driver to drive a VW T4 or T5?

What is the minimum age limit to drive either a T4 or a T5 VW van and does anyone know a rough estimate on how much the insurance would be?

Car insurance for 2 people in 2 places...?

My father is going to add me to his auto insurance. He lives in the the Bronx, NY and currently I go to school in upstate New York and is where I will be using the car and I know car insurance is cheaper upstate New York. With that being said is it possible for his part of the insurance to be filed in New York City and my part to be filed through the upstate location? While still having him receive the bill for both... Thanks in advance!""

Car insurance question?

If i have my own car titled in my name, could my parents put me under their insurance so my car is insured, or does the car have to be titled in my parents name? It would be alot cheaper for me that way. Thanks.""

Term life insurance and estate planning?

Can term life insurance be used in place of long term care insurance? For instance, lets say a person is 55 yoa and in generally good health. Instead of buying long term care insurance, how about buying a term life policy for 250-300k. Should nursing home care become necessary, available funds for care costs, then upon death, survivors are reimbursed via the term life death benefit. It seems to me long term care insurance may or may not be used, and if not, the money paid for premiums is wasted . On the other hand, everyone dies, so nursing home or no nursing home, the death benefit will one day be paid. What say you?? Thanks in advance for offering your insight.""

Need cheap insurance?

I make 12.50 per hour and I work for a small company our insurance really sux and it is exspensive I have a wife and a 3 year old daughter I am 21 and my wife is 20 and we live in Michigan is there some kinda of insurance that is cheap and reletivley good please help. Also vision and dental but health most of all. Maybe even some secret government help or something I just need some finicial help really

Trying to get free motorcycle insurance quote from progressive?

Its asking me this though: What date would you like your Progressive policy to start? Im confused. I just want a free quote, i dont want to actually sign up for insurance""

Question about car insurance?

1. How long does it take to get insurance? Can we go in and apply for it tommorrow and have it when we walk out? Or is there a waiting period? How long until you are legally covered? 2. If you get insurance on a car you are going to sell/trade in - can you switch over your insurance to cover the new car? Or how does that work? Problem is, our truck isn't insured right now but we're planning on buying a new car in the next month or 2.. will that make things more difficult for us? - first time insurance buyer""

How much will it cost me to repair a paint less dent on a Nissan Sentra?

My car was recently hit without my knowledge. No one saw it and it happened while I was parked. The dent is right above the body of the tire frame and its about two inches wide. My question is will my insurance pay for it? And if not how much will a repair like this cost me? The car is Nissan Sentra 2012.

Comparing and contrasting life insurance?

was looking for some experianced and educated perspectives on taking the best approach considering life insurance for the first time at age 28 with 3 kids?

Opposing insurance asking for information?

2 weeks ago I got into a car accident, I've already: -Plead guilty and paid ticket online -Submit claim for insurance company -Had car towed for auto shop And today I receive in the mail, forms from what I can see is the opposing insurance company asking for my name, age, address, SS#, license plate, insurance #, passengers during accident, and a diagram to draw how the accident happened. Am I require to fill this out? I thought the 2 insurance companies got this kind of information from each other""

Anyone no any cheap insurance companys for new young drivers ?

How much money do you typically get back from your insurance company if your car is totaled in an accident?

I was at fault, my car is the only one totaled. No one was injured...""

Madison Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 53706

Estimated car insurance premium for a Camaro/Corvette?

I am looking to buy either a 2002 Camaro (5.7L V8) or a 2000 - 2002 Corvette (5.7L V8). I am wondering how much insurance will cost me. The detailed information and questions are as below: 1. Age: 34 2. Have been driving in the States for little less than 4 years. No accident at all. Only one speeding ticket about 3 years ago. (I had been driving for 10 years in Seoul, Korea with no accident at all, but it didn't count) 3. I used to drive a 2007 Toyota Tundra (5.7L V8), which I sold a few days ago. I paid about 450 dollars/6 months for full coverage. Questions: 1. How much would it cost me if I buy either one mentioned above? (even ballpark number would be appreciated) 2. Do year and purchasing price (or resale value) affect premium? For example, buying a 2008 brand new Corvette or a 2000 used Corvette makes a difference? 3. I know it would be higher to have a sports car, but do my age and driving record affect premium? If yes, how much do they affect?""

Changing insurance from a cbt to a full motorbike licence?

I am currently 16 and becoming 17 this month. I already have my 125cc motorbike in my garage, I want to insure it on my birthday on a CBT but want to pass my motorbike test so I can ride on motorways and get rise of my L plates. My question is if I'm already insured with a CBT, what will it cost me to change to swap to a full motorbike licence. Will my insurance company charge me anymore?""

I have no health insurance for my 5 month old?

Ok so my 5 month old hasn't gotten we shots because I came back to NYC from CA due to my mother being sick but I don't planned to live here so I don't want to reopen a Medicaid case out here is there anywhere i could go or something i could do? Plz help

""How do I file an auto insurance claim and what exactly will happen to my insurance rate, deductible, etc.?""

My windshield was really frosty but I only had to drive like 20 yards to get where I wanted. So like an idiot, I start driving and run into a fire hydrant. This damages the front right quarter panel, the right blinker, and it may have also damaged the axel or steering column because I couldn't get my car to move after that. What do I tell my insurance company? and am I going to have to pay anything?""

Good military discounts for car insurance?

My husband is a Marine, we recently bought a new car and we're looking for good car insurance, preferably with a military discount! Does anyone have any experience with this? Thanks!""

Best health insurance plan available for 2+1 family?

My family is 2+1, I need best health insurance plan in all aspect such as premium, service, facilities etc.. Suggestion needed""

Why do we need auto insurance?

Car title and insurance question?

If my name was put on the title of a car (I'm 18), would it affect the insurance rates even if the car was insured under my parent's policy as a occasional driver? Does the insurance company have the right to change the rates on a car depending solely on whose name is on the title?""

Car insurance for MERCEDES BENZE?

WOULD LIKE A GUIDE TO THE BEST TYPE OF CAR INSURANCE FOR MY 2003 MERC/

CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME?

I have been 18 for a few months now and I'm planning on moving intomy boyfriends parents place in about two weeks. The reason i am waiting is because my grandfather wont let me take my car until i switch the car into my name with my own insurance policy. He has allstate, and i am about to start working at a new job. I will be graduating in june from high school and i live in Virginia. My grandfathers wife (step-grandmother) treats me badly and i need to move away. I have waited 6 years for this since my mom passed away in 2003. I know that none of you will know exactly how much insurance will be but could you give me some insight or a range on how much a month ill pay on insurance and the best policys. I am driving a 2002 Dodge Intrepid, 4 door. I drive everyday about 15-20 miles each day. I am a female, 18 years of age. (19 in september). I did have one traffic light accident that was MY fault but plead no contest and got away with one days worth of driving school. ..if you could please help me that would be great. And much appreciated. Im not sure if you need anymore info, but thats all i can think of right now. AND PLEASE DONT ANSWER IF YOU AE GOING TO ASK how are we supposed to know? BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND THATU DONT KNOW ME AND THAT U HAVE NO WA OF KNOWING. I JUST WANT TO KNOW A PRICE RANGE PER MONTH AND HE BEST POLICYS?? thank you, amber.""

Are there any Insurance companies in the Philippines that have Mortgage Protection Insurance?

Any companies that have this certain type of insurance directed to people paying off a house or a property?

Why is Geico auto insurance so cheap?

I just got my Allstate bill in the mail and my insurance went up to $100/month. So, i called them, told them to screw off and called Geico. They told me because of my perfect credit, perfect driving record, etc...that it would only be $48/month. I obviously switched and asked them how they could be so cheap. She said it was mostly b/c they don't have agents. Is this just too good to be true?""

""I will be under my parent's health insurance effective Jan 1, 2011 - will my baby be covered?""

my baby is due April 26, 2011. Will he be eligible to be under my parents policy with me or will I need different coverage? If so, any suggestions? I live in California.""

Will the car insurance know?

I am a single parent, unemployed and I care for my eighteen month baby while my other child is at f/t school. I have recently passed my driving test and found the car that I want. The only problem is that the f/t course I applied for at college is full and the insurance premium is more for unemployed people and less for students!(which I can't understand). I can't tell them I am a housewife as I am not married, If I tell them that I am a f/t student will they need proof when I pay for the car insurance.""

How much is car insurance for a new driver?

How much would car insurance cost in BC in a rural area for a 17 year (new driver). Thanks. The car would be a mustang from 1995-2001

Best deal for car insurance in london?

can somebody help me to find the best deal for car insurance in london for bmw 320d,se,1994 thanks and good week end""

""How much does E&O insurance policy of 300,000 cost?""

I want to go into a business venture and part of my requuirements is to have a E&O policy worth at least $300,000. How much will that be a month?""

How can I get auto insurance in my name when the car is registered in someone else's name?

My mom currently has a loan on my car in her name in California. My car is registered in California, but because my husband is active duty military, we relocated to South Carolina. Is there a way I can obtain insurance in my name without being a registered owner?""

How much would my insurance on average be for a 2007 V6 mustang with allstate?

Im calling tomorrow to get a quote but, i was wondering if anybody had an idea. Its a V6 so that makes a huge difference since its not a V8 GT. Im just unsure how much allstate wants for a V6 mustang. if anybody has a price range they could give me it would be greatly appreciated. thank you!!""

""Okay so sent off for my provisional license and thinking about cars and insurance now, just need a little help?""

Okay so I'm 16, turning 17 very soon and going to start driing lessons soon, but I need a car after that and I'm going to have to pay the majority of the insurance and the car myself. I only have a part time job where I work thursday evening and saturday mornings at like 6.00 an hour. What car is a good car for a person my age, what about insurance for that car how much is that going to cost? Overall what would you say is the total amount I should save up in order to get a car and decent insurance? Thanks :)""

How can I show proof of my insurance to get car tax?

Hi I need to go and get my car tax tomorrow but I dont have my insurance certificate yet becuase it akes 5 working days is there anyother types of proof I can bring to get my car tax?

How much is an SR22 insurance cost?

More or less...

Auto insurance?

I just found that my auto insurance policy had been expired. ( I am too careless :( ...) .. Meanwhile, I tend to sell my car within 1 month. Do I have to present a new auto insurance card to the AAA service specialist while ceding my car to the buyer?""

Is insurance expensive for a 17 year old Riding a 125 ped?

i live in bromley south east london/ kent i have recently bought a Gilera Runner VXR 180 Reg as 125, im using it for college and seeing family, i have completed my C.B.T Bike is road ready MOT&Tax could anyone give me a guestimate on how much it would be on your previous experience and any good companies that insure young drivers ? thanks alot (P.S if you would like too right a smart ar*e comment please dont do it on my post, im asking for advice not a lecture)""

What are good sites to get multiple car insurance quotes all at once so you can compare?

I don't mean individual insurance companies like geico or all-state, I mean where it can do the quotes for multiple companies at a time. Know any safe & legit websites? I don't want to put my personal info just anywhere.""

Madison Wisconsin Cheap car insurance quotes zip 53706

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/madison-connecticut-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-6443-kelley-layton/"

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