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onlysanepeoplesleep · 5 days

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possible tw: brief mention of an eating disorder and body dysmorphia (implied but it’s barely there??).

There was no doubt when someone said Kevin was beautiful or pretty. Everyone complemented his looks, even Tetsuji had said that his looks could be used and he should use them. He hadn’t understood when he was younger what that meant exactly, but he understood now.

You could get anything just by having a pretty face and an eye-catching body. Maybe that’s why he was put on strict diets in the Nest. So the photoshoots they took months later would show his slim waist and lean figure. Riko always said his eyes were the prettiest part about him, and thus were meant to be kept unharmed.

His face never showed any sign of the abuse he had received in the Nest, even years after people still believed he had had it easy. Maybe that’s why he hated his self-image so much, why he stared at the mirror for seconds longer than he should. Why he hated eating anything above the calorie intake he was meant to. Because he had had it easy. Life had been easy for him, he shouldn’t worry others with his problems because he didn’t have any.

He was fine because he wasn’t traumatised. He wasn’t hurt the way Neil or Jean were. He didn’t have lasting scars except for the one on his left hand — and even that wasn’t as bad as the ones Jean or Neil carried.

Everything was fine. He was fine. Nothing was wrong.

And yet… if something wasn’t wrong, if he was truly okay — then why did he still have nightmares? Why did he awake abruptly at night drenched in sweat and riddled with fear? Maybe he was a coward, why else would he have nightmares when his experiences in the Nest had been nothing compared to what Jean suffered. What Neil suffered. Why should he have nightmares when Neil woke from them more frequently? When Kevin didn’t deserve to be traumatised because he wasn’t.

Everybody believed that was true so why shouldn’t he?

Betsy would probably say it wasn’t good to think like that. It wasn’t healthy to undermine his own trauma (which he didn’t have) just because someone else experienced the same things — just differently. She’d tell him to focus on his own nightmares and focus on trying to heal, but what was there to heal from if he was fine? Because he was. He was fine, as fine as one could be.

So he didn’t deserve the small reassurances his friends gave him. Didn’t deserve any kind of affection from them especially because it should be the other way round, but Kevin’s not sure how to comfort people and he knows he should know because if he’s fine and everything in his life has been fine up until this point — then how come he can’t give solace to those whose lives aren’t?

Why must he be so selfish and rude and stupid and a coward? Riko hardly did anything to him. He wasn’t beaten as much as Jean, he wasn’t tortured as much as Neil, he wasn’t broken. He survived the Nest and was fine, so that meant he had no room to argue with those who didn’t. Those who were braver then him. Who endured the pain because they didn’t know much else.

Kevin had the key to his cage whereas Neil and Jean didn’t. That was the difference. That was why he was fine and they weren’t. That’s why they needed to be loved and cared for and he didn’t.

He was not fine. He hadn’t been fine in years, but he’d never voice that aloud. He’d never disagree when someone said he had it lucky; when they said he was spoiled for thinking he didn’t. Whatever horrors he had been through in the Nest didn’t matter because in the end, the only way for people to realise just how broken you truly were was if they had visible evidence. And in that, Kevin was lacking.

#haha I am having a field day rn #the words are just coming to me #I blame my lights for being so shitty #kevin day angst is a minuscule part of this fandom and I crave more #it’s currently 2:35 am in the morning pls do not blame me for my actions #kevin day #aftg #all for the game #the kings men #the raven king #the foxhole court #kevin day angst #sad kevin day #y aren’t these tags???#give kevin some love y’all #neil josten #jean moreau #riko moriyama #tetsuji moriyama

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carpisuns · 10 months

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gaining a new interest/joining a new fandom is always kind of intimidating it feels like there’s so much you’ve missed out on by not enjoying this thing before so you’re like GRAHHHH got to catch up so I can have peak enjoyment like all the Enjoying This Thing experts around here! which is so silly bc if you enjoy a thing you’re already there but. yknow

#like when I got into hockey I was like studying all the rules and terms and players and team history and stuff #so I could be able to talk with other fans and understand everything #and like when I got into ml and owl house it was like ooh gotta binge watch all the eps #gotta see what the fandom vibes are and read the good kush fics and find a group of friends to brainrot with #and now w zelda it’s like #woof #there are so many games spanning decades!!! and I only have a switch so I can’t even play most of them lol #and the lore is fascinating but sometimes convoluted and confusing lol #bro the timeline. help #it’s just a lot of info and stuff to consume djdjdk #and im brainrotting so hard so part of me wants to find a loz discord server or soemthing l #but I feel like i would not be able to be on equal footing discussion wise bc I have only played a few of the games #it’s cool tho i have one irl friend who’s very excited abt me getting into her fav series haha #and I’m enjoying seeing people’s art and stuff #and making my little doodles #ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ <- me having a good little time being bad at gaming and obsessed with a tragic blond boy yet AGAIN #mine

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ostick · 6 months

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Clint and Mathilda from MOBA Mobile Legends Bang Bang

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scoliosisgoblin · 9 days

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Don't tell my fat ass to stop eating!! Cook more!!!!!!

I am trying 😔

#ngl I'm stressing myself out with all this haha #mainly cause I'd have an idea for a prompt and would try to do it #bit then realize I'm not so good at comics #so I scrap the entire thing and try to sum up everything in one image and it's not as good as I wanted it to be #but I'm too tired to do anything cause it's like 3am or something #I actually got to sleep in today. slept for 10 hours I think #it's double the amount I usually do and I'm still so tired it's crazy dude #anyway stupid rant #I'll try to post more art later I just gotta write out a 10 page essay for Monday haha #my art #asks #your boyfriend game #yb fandom #yb peter #yb game #why re there sm yb tags #peter dunbar

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blighted-lights · 1 month

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tumblr is such a strange place because you'll see a post mischaracterizing your favorite character so badly that it causes something in your chest to physically cringe and then. what do you do other than keep scrolling. only to then find that the mischaracterization is so popular that its one of the biggest parts of the fandom.

#blight rambles #txt post #fandom #this isnt even about transformers #this has happened with three different characters from three different medias recently #angel from the borderlands games.#vivienne from da:i #azula from atla #i am so unwell.#like haha yeah lets take these three and completely fuck up their characterization and places in their respective stories #to make the men around them look better. even when all three of these characters are victims of the same men around them! be so fr rn.#ahsoka from clone wars as well but not to the same extent

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6-2-aestheticsofhate · 1 month

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i love minos (thinks about his fanon depiction) (throws up)

#okay god i try not too care too much abt mischaracterization especially if its something small but even bigger stuff its like. who cares #we've all been guilty of it at least a little bit before. you know.#but the fact fanon minos has practically ZERO things in common with minos in canon. like. :/#the fact they make him a sex obsessed guy when he shows zero hints towards being horny/sexual in game. and at most he just says that people #shouldnt be punished for loving one another. like.#everytime i see fanon content of minos and hes like haha gabriel do you want to have sex or hes constantly talking abt sex like. come on.#i never even see people talk abt stuff abt minos thats actually cool and not some fanon made up haha bisexual lighting and i love sex bit #like okay we're not gonna talk abt the fact that he had to see the destruction of everything he worked towards to help others with his own #eyes from his prison.#we're not gonna talk about how tragic he is or his story or anything abt his personality in canon?#no we're just gonna graft a make believe personality onto him where he constantly talks abt sex and nothing else? and wants to fuck gabriel #when one of the first things hes ever said upon being freed is that he wants to kill gabriel?#SORRY I KNOW IM BEING A LITTLE HATER AND IVE TRIED TO LESSEN UP ON IT ESP COMPARED TO MY LAST FANDOM. BUT.#GOD.#it wouldnt even be that bad if they didnt rough down minos's rough edges and hatred of gabriel and yet make sisyphus more #angry/violent towards him when he just had beef with heaven in general. like. interesting. that youre. depicting the person of #color as more angry/violent towards your blorbo when its arguable he doesnt even care abt gabe in specific.#really interesting.#truly.#okay im done being a hater #salt tag #to delete

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fandomgamersimp · 15 days

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I just want to ramble a little, because one of the latest reblogs evoked something in me, and I just want to make sure I'm not the insane one; also I've finally got around listening to Pamela's tapes from the FT13 game, and I'm kdjfksfjjefj-

! I may be adding something here and there throughought, because I seriously have a lot to say about all of this 😭

Because no matter what anyone tells me, I can't for the life of me be on anyone else's side, but Jason's. The franchise has some likable protagonists, obviously, and I rooted for them. My heart? Always on the Jason's side.

Like, I want you to picture what I'm seeing here, with added info from those tapes I mentioned.

TW sexual violence, abuse, ableism

Pamela- a woman living through 40s and 50s- already a tough situation if you know the historical context. At one point, a tragedy happened; an unknown man raped her- she doesn't want to talk about him, she doesn't want to remember him, she doesn't want to see this monster ever again. "It doesn't matter" she said to the police in the tapes. "What happened, happened." But she felt like he was still out there. Looking for her- and for the child he gave her with unspeakable violence. So she found Elias. Because he looked like someone who would be able to protect them. She married a different monster, it turned out. He also abused her - sexually, mentally and physically.

I feel like throughout it all, she managed to find strenght in her kid - someone who, due to his disability and ableism of the world, seemed far more vulnerable than her (and maybe because thanks to his disability, she just saw an innocent child rather than her rapist's face). And someone who loved her unconditionally- so she loved him back, despite how he came to be. I think she tried to be a strong person, and to shield her son from how cruel the world could really be- she knew it first-hand after all. The world already disappointed her, so maybe her child can have a shot, and she clearly tried her best- he was her perfect, little kid, no matter what kind of disgusting and atrocious things people were saying about someone who never did anything to them. She knows bad people. Her son wasn't one just because he looked different.

But Elias abused him too. She obviously snapped at that point. She murdered him for what he did - because unlike with the other despicable man, this time she was in control of what to do with him. Her son told her to do it too, he knew it too - or it was the first sign of how mentally disturbed she was because of her trauma.

She heard about Camp Crystal Lake later. It made itself to be something like a paradise, for kids especially. Of course she took it. Not only for work, but I think they made it out to be this beautiful and promising place for children - and her son deserved happiness too. But it wasn't. Other kids were cruel, and councelors were rude. Just because someone is born different. She tried her best to make him socialise, to protect him too. She was shielding him from others a little too much, sure- but considering her past experiences and the fact that she didn't get professional help, I don't blame her. In her eyes most likely, the world proved to her how fucking disgusting it can get to people who never even did anything to it.

Then, she heard it. Her child begging for help - probably just like all those times he screamed for help while his dad was hurting him. They told her that they can't find him later. She told them he couldn't swim. That they had to pay a little more attention. Her child- Jason- was probably her biggest, if not only, reason to still be alive, because he deserved to have support and genuine love, to experience what she didn't get to. He needed her, but suddenly he was gone. The police was called, she demanded justice.

She demanded something that she didn't get- so at least give it to a damn child. And they didn't.

On one of the tapes, the police even assumed that "he's probably dead already". You know why they automatically assumed that? Because he has a disability. They didn't even consider the smallest chance of him being alive, just decided he's no longer alive without even doing the search. She tried to find Jason on her own, of course. But obviously she couldn't, she's only one person. Not only the police didn't do anything useful- the councelors that were too busy with themselves were hired again. Without consequences. Without an apology. Without justice. Horrible people doing horrible shit and then living like nothing happened while others suffer. And she snapped again- trying to do anything in her power to have the camp permanently closed after her murders, so no other mother can suffer like her- like your heart was ripped straight out of your chest.

Jason had to live years in the woods alone. He probably wondered why all of this had to happen to him. In the comic of him and Leatherface, he still remembers his dad's abuse too. All of that because of how he looked- hating it himself up to the point of covering his face (I think the fact that the bag on his head is tied perfectly shows that he really doesn't want to give anyone/anything a chance to take it off and see it). Only his mom loved him, no one else in his life showing him this much care and genuine appreciation for existing.

And then, he sees them. Everyone just happily visiting Camp Crystal Lake. Partying. Living. Nobody even once wants to genuinely acknowledge what happened. Nobody visits his mother's grave, the councelors do whatever they want. Nobody pays respect in any way. They act like it never happened. Like their lives thrown away means nothing. Like- I think- no one wants to look into themselves and ask whether or not they contribute to what kind of society we've created- one where victims don't get justice, where an ableist "joke" is accepted and laughed at, where you'd rather ignore what's around you rather then contribute to change- because maybe if someone, even one person, thought that way, his mother wouldn't be raped and killed while mentally unstable, and maybe he could have a chance at living just like able-bodied people are, and maybe the other kids would have been a little nicer to him. Maybe if they stopped to think about others for one second, it all wouldn't happen. We could change the world- but are we just choosing not to?

And then you see the same people kill your mother. Was her snapping after everything made her a horrible person? The same that raised her child, despite from who he came? She didn't even get to find him and live like a family. He was probably so excited for that split second, seeing his mom alive. She didn't even get to see he's safe when he found his way back onto the Camp. What did they do to the world for everything to end up like this?

Because I think after all that, they decided they're going to give them a reason.

I personally enjoy DiSanti's interpretation in his fanmade movies- where the blood of Pamela entered Jason, with all the hate she gathered for the world. Because in my eyes, that's the perfect depiction where they both, in a way, decided that they're going to show people how it really feels when your entire life is ruined, where your innocence and hope are stripped away, and there is no justice served, and no one believes you, and no one does anything. These people are going to know how it feels to have the entire world against you while hatered and pain eat away your humanity.

While, maybe at one point finally, realising that it all could've been avoided if you thought about someone other than yourself.

It's "if you want to hate me, hate me for an actual reason". And the Voorhees decided they're going to give them a damn good one.

And a friendly reminder HE'S NOT EVEN GOING TO KILL YOU IF YOU STAY OUT OF CRYSTAL LAKE AND JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE.

You would stay alive if you just fucking listened for once.

Also: honorable mention of Rennie who was made an "empath" in the comics

Because apparently empathy and morality are mutually exclusive, and feeling empathy towards someone, even someone doing horrible shit, is a super-power and not just something we all should strive to have. (Me wants to say it's because the world has had us convinced that commiting a crime is a perfect reasoning for getting rid of empathy for those who commit the crime and for circumstances of them ending up in certain positions, so we don't realise just how broken we are as a society and we all have certain responsibility for how we treat the disabled, the poor, the abused, the mentally unwell etc. and most shit happens for a reason; but not everyone is ready for this conversation. Or maybe everyone's angry that they see Jason-with all his background provided- and unlike many people, he doesn't really go after children and animals still, so they realise he still has more rigid of a moral spine than them).

And also they kinda keep doing this shit- I understand screaming while a huge guy is chasing you with a clear intent to kill you; but excuse me, why are you screaming upon seeing someone's deformity caused by a disability? 🤨 (he even raised his mask in pt. 3, because like, HE KNOWS what kind of reaction he's gonna get - because so far no one proved him otherwise).

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r2y9s-notartblog · 7 days

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evening/night boop! (how are you doing?)

morning boop! (i've lost track of the time whoops!)

I'm doing well! have a cat butt!

#replies #uygfiug #not my cat but he is when i'm there lmaoooo #my friend's cat his name is Witcher! he's very cuddly!#the more allergic to cats you are the more he wants to cuddle with you!#to the chagrin of the friend of said friend who often comes by for video games with us #i uh. may have impulsively submitted an application to a communitiy college.#i haven't taken college classes in 8 years haha #but i was like ok i have a BS in art but what if i got an AS in forensic science huh #wouldn't that be cool #i'm just out here about to start collecting degrees orz #also can i even pay for it? even if it's part time?#financial aid save me #fuck if i'm gonna apply for another damn loan after i just paid my last one off #ANYWAYS got into a new video game and it's eating at my brain but at least i've got some great art inspo coming in #i never stay in a fandom for long which is why i never publish any of my fics bc i'm in a new fandom before i can even finish the fic lmaooo #i hope you're doing well! i think ur classes started up again?#gl and take care of yourself!#take breaks and eat and all that u know how it is

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crazy-fangirl2524 · 2 years

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Andrew on his meds (about Neil):

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devilishdelights · 1 year

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“lucifer i’ve got a migraine” you say

“okay. come here” he says and drills a fucking hole right into your skull

you sigh in relief. “thank you.”

#brought to you by: i’m having a fcuking migraine and can’t sleep #this is what the migraine fic is going to be guys. just sou know #should i do. a cw warning.#cw gore imagery #i think? would work best. idk y’all #cw gore #like just to be super safe in case one of u guys has a vivid imagination and can spiral into imagery lol #obey me fanfiction #<- i think this post can count for this tag because i use quotation marks and there’s a character interaction.#i’m an official obey me fic writer guys xox. writing in second pov is actually really easy oddly enough lol #does anyone else in this fandom get chronic migraines. do u have an overwhelming soft side for lucifer because he gets them too #like it’s not overly expressed in game but i like that he’s a miserable character and gets migraines because haha *points* that’s me.#when he psssed out from a migraine and lost all his memories… so real of him. and we caused that.#you’re welcome babe. me next

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offantasiesandreams · 1 year

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Enoch simp returns haha, was wondering about another x reader with intimate stuff with him, not something outright nsfw but like, I like to see him as being dominant and liking to fluster, maybe even intimidating (cuz I’m kinda into that haha) but not too far as to genuinely scare. I’m aware these are getting progressively more intimidate I just still have the biggest crush on the guy XD

Heya! I am starting to see a progression from fluff to something else here, my dear Enoch simp (I'm joking, don't worry, we've all been there!) And hell yeah, getting flustered is really good! I, personally, like bastard characters for that exact reason!

Intimate Headcanons for Enoch

As he believes himself to be a god, Enoch would be the dominant type when it comes to anything more intimate than a kiss. Sure, you can try to initiate something yourself, but expect him to take control almost immediately. After all, he cannot allow any kinds of misbehaviours at his workplace, not even from someone as important to him as you. Though, then again, because you’re so close to him he will show you who the real boss is.

If you do initiate something, he will get up from his chair and tower over you. That alone is usually enough to shoot fear in the eyes of the Elsen, but he is merely playing with you, and you know that. However, if you still like to act up, and especially act like a brat and defy him, he will pick you up and put you in his hand, telling you about how much you’re misbehaving.

Lastly, he will put his finger under your chin and make up look up at him, all the while telling you what he might need to do if you keep acting up like this.

However, he will still lavish you in big kisses while he can, even while showing you who you belong to. It’s important for him that you’re still comfortable above everything else, so if he even sees the slightest bit of discomfort, he will stop immediately and stroke you with his thumb instead, making sure to calm you down.

Even while in bed he usually gently pats you until you’ve fallen asleep. Seeing as he loves having you sleep on top of him, he makes it his priority you’re comfortable and warm, meaning you have your own blanket. Because Enoch is afraid of accidentally crushing you underneath his weight he doesn’t move, even in his sleep. He’s just that afraid of losing you. Yes, he may be a god and he may have everything he could desire, but he would rather lose all of that than you.

#off x reader #off (game)#enoch x player #enoch x reader #it makes me happy to see that the guardians have been getting increasingly more love too!#anyway sorry these are short #I know nothing at all about relationships because I've never been in one!#and you can only learn so much from fandom and fanfiction and headcanons haha #but I hope these suffice anyway!#have a good *insert daytime*!#may your simpery bring you happiness and good things only!

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