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negative-speedforce · 9 months

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detailed oc questions for Siv, Jay, Gina, Hailey, and E-2002 Eobard #s 1, 2, 6, 10, 11, 40, & 41 :)

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Sivonne Alessandra Thawne; Sivonne- misspelled version of Siobhan, I thought it worked so I kept it. Alessandra- Defender of men (it's more ironic than accurate).

Jason Luca Barron; Jason- means "healer", also mythological hero. Luca- form of Luke, means "Light". Name chosen because it fits Jay to a 'T'.

Regina Maria Rivera; Regina + Maria = Queen of Bitterness/Suffering, fits Gina's story arc.

Hailey Tuyet Laurence; Hailey- means "Hay's Meadow" in old English, Tuyet- means "snow" in Vietnamese. Names were chosen based on vibes.

Eobard Claudius Thawne; "Eobard" and "Thawne" are from canon, but I added the name "Claudius" as a reference to Hamlet's murderous stepdad from Shakespeare's Hamlet.

2: Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Siv: Dark Streak: Their hero title, named for the black blur that people see because of her suit. Euphoria: The name that she uses when they're half-Siv half-Negative Speed Force, from the drug-like high that "going Eldritch" gives them.

Jay: Zephyr, named for his ability to control wind.

Gina: N/A, but would have gone by "Psyche" if she lived long enough to unlock her full abilities.

Hailey: Phantom, because, y'know, she's a ghost?

Eo-2002: "Reverse-Flash" for obvious reasons, but he's also been referred to as "Thanatos" by Cassandra's team before they knew his identity, as a reference to the Greek god of death. (we all know which name is better)

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

Siv: Only managed not to get expelled for fighting because her dad gave some VERY generous donations to the school. They excelled in all forms of Math, Science, and History, but they had trouble with Ethics and English. Unfortunately, she was erased from existence the week before her graduation, and therefore did not receive their diploma.

Gina: Was known as the "good girl" at St. Florian's, because she got good grades, never tried to sneak out of Mass, didn't get in trouble, etc. She died a few months before graduation, but she excelled in Language Arts, Choir, and Art, but Math and Science were her weak spots. She loved school, and her friends there, and most of the other students loved her just as much. If she hadn't died early, it is likely that she would have had a chance for Valedictorian or Salatutorian.

Jay: You went to high school? Jay went to school high. Somehow, he managed to graduate with A's and B's (no one knows how- he didn't even cheat!). He graduated high school, and went to college for an accelerated Engineering program, which he graduated from with his Bachelor's in less than two years. Jay excelled in all his classes except P.E. and Music.

Hailey: Hailey went to an extremely strict, extremely upper-crust military school. She did not have a good time, being bullied for her feminine mannerisms and personality (spoiler alert: she's a girl). After graduating, she went straight into the Marines, mostly to get away from her strict family. In school, Hailey excelled in History, Political Science, and all/any foreign languages she took, but she struggled when it came to writing.

Eo-2002: Excelled at everything to a creepy extent. Was the weird quiet kid who everyone's kinda scared is going to become a serial killer. Graduated with high honors from High School, College, and Grad School, where he recieved dual doctorates in physics and biology.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

Siv: Despises children, probably because they pretty much skipped the early childhood phase. Kids are usually kinda scared of her. However, if they were to be in charge of a child, the kid would probably go home with knowing about 50 new curse words, a stomach full of absolute junk, and having seen movies that were VERY age-appropriate.

Gina: LOVES children, and they love her. Would be the best mom, kinda strict but not overbearing, and would sing the prettiest lullabyes.

Jay: Loves children, but they usually think he's kinda stupid. He would love to have kids, and him and Cassandra do eventually have a kid, Reggie. He's a really good dad, really into "gentle parenting" and other such techniques.

Hailey: Is good with kids, but doesn't really like or want them. If she was put in charge of a child, they'd probably be sent home just as healthy as when they left, though Hailey would probably just park them in front of the TV playing PBS Kids all day because she doesn't know what to do with a kid.

Eo-2002: Doesn't like children, terrifies children, doesn't want children. Somehow, he ended up with two. With his own kid being a speedster and him having a "Jessica Wells", he assumed that he could have a small army of speedsters to take down Barry if he kept them both alive until adulthood. As a parent, Eobard was very detatched, chosing to let Esme raise Siv rather than actually doing that much parenting himself.

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

Siv: Is lactose intolerant

Gina: None

Jay: Vegetarian, unless it's free food.

Hailey: Lactose intolerant

Eo-2002: None

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Siv: Drinks energy drinks because she likes the taste, not because they affect them in any way.

Gina: Enjoys coffee and green tea

Jay: Drinks energy drinks, is a sugar addict

Hailey: Is British. She drinks a cup of black tea with cream and sugar every day.

Eo-2002: Drinks coffee, it doesn't affect him.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Siv: Is a lesbian. She likes girls who are taller than her, curvy, and are both competent and confident. What they mostly need in a relationship is someone who can both match their wit and comfort them when they break down.

Gina: Is a lesbian. She likes feminine and androgynous women, with athletic body types, though that's more a preference than a definite "type". She likes someone who is brave, protective, and has a big heart, and in a relationship, she mostly just needs a friend, someone to share all her thoughts and ideas with.

Jay: Is pansexual. He doesn't really have a physical preference, but he likes people who have strong morals and are brave in the face of danger. In a relationship, Jay needs someone who can back him up, and can confirm that he's doing the right thing.

Hailey: Is asexual and biromantic. She's pretty much exclusively attracted to masculinity (masc women and enbies and masculine men), and she likes someone protective, confident, and open about their emotions. In a relationship, she needs someone supportive, who can make her feel alive even though she technically isn't.

Eo-2002: Is gay. He likes men who challenge him, both mentally and physically. His type is Barry Allen, but he'd never say that out loud. In a relationship, he needs someone who can hold him back from doing something hasty and irrational, and who can support him through... whatever the fuck's going on in his head.

#ask revan #oc shit #vexic :D

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yonemurishiroku · 1 year

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I have never read Percy Jackson or any books tied to this franchise. I'm not even sure entirely what's the name of the franchise because it seems to have MP name + plot relevant thing on its title.

I only know about Percy Jackson from the only two movies that aired and the news of the series which I want to watch when it comes out.

However, my question is this. Do you think that reading it in another language would diminish in any way my enjoyment of the books?

I'm latin american, so I either find the books in English or Spanish, and I don't have any problem with either, I just wanted to hear from someone who is part of the fandom.

Hmm. As a Vietnamese reader who has gone through HOO and PJO in my native tongue, I'd say it wouldn't cause much of an effect.

Of course, there would surely be some... different vibe compared to the original English version, especially considering how much of a culture gap yours have to the American (US) lifestyle.

For ex., in my Vietnamese translation, the characters might appear more polite when they're supposed to be distant/ tense because our vocative system/ terms of address (which the translator chose) make everyone brothers and sisters. 🐧

So far, I haven't had any problems with the translation. (But my experience can be misleading provided that 1/ I literally read Spanish fanfics by Google Translate; 2/ I have a messed-up comprehension of languages jadshjad). Indeed the quality of the translation itself greatly influences how enjoyable the experience will be.

With that being said though, I'd advise reading it in its original language if you can - since, you know, that's what the author wrote down by themself, word-by-word. 😂 But yeah, you can just go for any choice you feel the most comfortable with!

Btw. While we're at it though, I heard that the two early adoptions are very, very bad. I mean on the wth-is-this?-Did-they-even-read-the-book? level of bad. I can't remember much of how they differentiate from the books but afaik people don't like them that much. So like. (It's ok if you like them tho) I guess you should be ready in case the books turn out to be a 180 turn? 😂😂

Hope you have a fun time reading anyways tho!!

#pjo #hoo #toa #yone rambling #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo

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ablegaming · 2 years

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Gran Turismo 7 accessibility review

Game title: Gran Turismo 7

Platform(s): Playstation 5, Playstation 4

Languages: Matches your Playstation console's default language setting. Czech, Danish, German, English (United Kingdom), English (United States), Spanish (Latin America), Spanish (Spain), French (Canada), French (France), Indonesian, Italian, Hungarian, Dutch, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese (Brazil), Portuguese (Portugal), Russian, Romanian, Finnish, Swedish, Vietnamese, Turkish, Ukrainian, Arabic, Greek, Japanese, Korean, Thai, and simplified & traditional Chinese are available.

Age rating: ESRB E 10+, PEGI 3

Multiplayer: 2-player local split-screen multiplayer. Online multiplayer up to 20 players in a game lobby. Online profile photo, nickname, cover photo, about me, default greeting, post race greeting, and social links can all be set.

Genre/theme: Racing simulation, circuit races, rally races, championships, license trials, car collection, car customization, screenshot and photo editing.

Violence: None, aside from causing some occasional minor damage to other racers' cars.

Maturity: No sexuality, nudity, swearing, or drugs & alcohol references. A driving experience gamers of all ages will enjoy.

Difficulty modes: Setting a new standard for accessibility, several assists are on by default when starting a new game, and they remain on until you turn them off, making the game very approachable. After trying out various amounts and levels of assists, I found that most of the starting assists really did help my hands a lot. I eventually turned off the visual displays for the drive line and brake zones, but I kept corner markers displayed on-screen (I don’t have very good depth perception), auto-braking around turns (to save my left hand/arm the stress of constant braking), a little bit of ABS, and some traction control (to decrease the amount of counter-steering needed, especially on dirt tracks and rainy levels).

Even when the braking is set to automatic you can still mess up by going into a turn too fast and skidding off course or crashing, so letting off of the accelerator and doing some light manual braking will still be helpful, you won't literally fly off of the track going around a turn crazy fast like you would with the braking assist turned off. You can get a serious boost in speed if you turn off auto-braking and get good at braking manually in GT7, but I've found it to be much harder on the hands. Several of the assists can be turned way up or way down, or off entirely, giving you the freedom to choose every aspect of the game you'd like to fine-tune to your needs and preferences.

The difficulty mode is set to Normal by default but can be set to either Easy or Hard as well, race prize money is not affected by changing difficulty.

There are unlockable bonus races that aren't required for the main story completion that can range up to 5-chili pepper difficulty level; these almost always have increased tire wear and fuel usage, requiring pit stops during the race.

Complexity: As complex or as simple as you'd like it to be; Gran Turismo 7 can play very casually with several assists on, or it can be a hardcore realistic racing sim, and everything in between. Cars can be incredibly fine-tuned and customized or can be driven stock, but some upgrades will likely be needed for later races and championships, and upgrades generally make the game easier to control.

Instructions, saving, story recap, menus, & waypoints: There is a link to the online manual on the main menu screen. Controls and skills are learned and practiced by playing through the license trials. Menus are mostly pretty easy to navigate and find what you're looking for, but the text size is kinda small. In-game notifications are clear and reliable, creating a marker on which gaming mode area to select for your current goal.

There isn't much of a story beyond collecting cars and winning all the championships, as is true of the Gran Turismo series as a whole.The Cafe is your source of obtaining new goals and rewards, and also offers some brief history about the cars and manufacturers.

In-game notifications can be turned off. Autosaves often, after every race; I had the game crash a time or two and never lost any progress (in earlier builds, they release update patches often). Can turn opening movie and demo off to speed up load time.

Subtitles: Relies entirely on subtitles, the text is fairly small and appears at a medium pace.

Text customization: "Skip conversations using cancel" is the only dialogue option available. Unit of measurement can be switched between mph and kph.

Voice acting: None

Volume settings: Balanced BGM (background music) and sound effects mode, enhanced sound effects mode, race BGM focus mode, menu sound effects level, play race BGM, race BGM level, race sound effects level, replay BGM level, replay sound effects level, music replay volume balance, music replay master volume level, other BGM level, engine sound level, transmission sound level, tire squeals level, rivals engine sound level, broadcast mode, and audio output mode: 2 channel stereo or 7.1 channel surround are all customizeable. In-game notifications for the current song playing pop up in the upper right corner, and songs can be removed from the default playlist.

Photosensitivity: Exposure, color saturation, bright level, and dark level can all be adjusted.

There aren't many flashing lights in the race track environments (primarily on a couple of the road courses in Japan), the main flashing light issue is on the heads-up-display, as it flashes blue, white, and red while shifting gears (the entire heads-up-display can actually be turned off in the in-race settings menu though). Additionally, whichever setting you hover the cursor over in the Settings menu flashes between dark gray and white. Some cars emit a bit of an exhaust flash when shifting up a gear, this is more noticeable on night levels.

These can be remedied a bit by playing in a well-lit room and adjusting screen brightness (TV), backlight (TV), contrast (TV), and color settings (TV). Additionally, wearing blue light lens glasses, tinted lens glasses, or even sunglasses may be helpful.

Motion sickness: Driving in first-person perspective is really accurate with car interiors and is well done but may be too much too for gamers who struggle with fast images/high speeds, I personally found this to be a bit better in third-person camera mode. The camera can be changed with the press of a button, so you could even switch between camera modes several times in a race if different perspectives on certain turns or lighting areas are easier for you. There are four camera angles to choose from: third person (behind the vehicle and up about 25–30 degrees), first person, dash-cam, and front of the car. The sideposts and lamp posts blend together in a slightly disorienting way on particularly fast tracks/driving fast cars, but this can be remedied by placing your eyes’ focal point directly in front of the car.

Colorblindness settings: Color saturation can be customized, but no colorblind mode.

Controller rumble: Yes, vibration level can be customized or turned off entirely.

Remappable controls: 100%, every button can be remapped.

Quick-time events: None, aside from timed starts and early start penalties on some of the tougher races.

Physical impact: Low with assists on, moderate with all assists turned off. I haven't tried this game with a racing wheel or wheel + pedals setup. There are lengthy optional endurance races you can take on, which I found to be too fatiguing and painful, but completing these isn't necessary.

I played through the game on Playstation 4, but a friend of mine who played through it on Playstation 5 messaged me after reading this review to let me know that the Playstation 5 Dualsense controller caused him some additional pain and fatigue due to the controller's adjustable trigger tension level. Thankfully, the trigger tension can be turned down or off entirely to relieve this.

Adaptability and input: To play one-handed, a racing wheel + pedals setup will likely be needed. Can be played with Sony Playstation 5 Dualsense controller, Sony Playstation 4 Dualshock 4 controller, Fanatec GT DD Pro racing wheel, Fanatec CSL Elite racing wheel, Fanatec Podium racing wheel, Logitech G G29/G923 racing wheel, Logitech G PRO racing wheel, Thrustmaster T-GT racing wheel, Thrustmaster T-300RS racing wheel, Thrustmaster T-500RS racing wheel, Thrustmaster T150 Force Feedback racing wheel, and Thrustmaster T80 racing wheel.

Upgrades that can be purchased for each car include increasing the steering angle, installing a handbrake for easier drifting around turns, as well as nitrous boost.

Overall accessibility score: 4.5/5.0 (Please note that this score does not reflect the entertainment or enjoyment value of the game, it represents the range of accessibility for gamers who have specific limitations.)

With Gran Turismo 7, Sony and Polyphony have set a new standard for excellence in accessibility in racing games. A wide range of languages, complete control remappability, compatibility with several racing wheel setups, in-depth lighting, camera, and sound settings, along with all of the gameplay and visual assists you could ever want, all add up to an incredibly approachable driving experience. Some mild photosensitivity and motion-sickness, but these can be remedied by various means, and aren't anywhere near as intense as you'd expect from a driving game. The greatest accessibility omissions are the lack of voice acting and text customization settings. Who knows, with all of the updates being released for this game (and maybe a little encouragement from us) there's a chance text customization settings could be added one day!

My review can also be read and listened to (text-to-speech) at Medium.com:

https://medium.com/@AbleGaming/gran-turismo-7-accessibility-review-8597bb979988

#video games #gaming #acessibility #accessibility in gaming #disability #disabilities #parenting #game reviews #gran turismo #gt7 #playstation

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enterenews · 1 year

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TOMORROW X TOGETHER, 5th mini album showcase on the 28th…

The group TOMORROW X TOGETHER will hold a comeback showcase to commemorate the release of their 5th mini album 'The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION'.

On the 20th, TOMORROW X TOGETHER (Soobin Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai) reconfirmed the holding of the comeback showcase to commemorate the release of 'TOMORROW X TOGETHER' The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION' through the global fandom life platform Weverse.

The comeback showcase, which will be held on the 28th, the second day after the comeback, at KINTEX in Ilsan, Goyang-si, Gyeonggi-do, will be broadcast live all over the world through Weverse Live, Hive Labels' official YouTube channel, Naver NOW., and Line Music.

The Weverse live streaming service provides subtitles in eight languages, including English, Japanese, Chinese (simplified), Chinese (traditional), Spanish, Indonesian, Vietnamese, and Thai, so that fans can watch more conveniently.

TOMORROW X TOGETHER will fill the comeback showcase with a variety of stages, including the title song "Sugar Rush Ride" and performances of songs from the 5th mini album that will be presented for the first time. They will also talk about various topics, such as stories related to the new release, and present a time full of excitement to fans.

'Chapter of Name: TEMPTATION', which will be simultaneously released worldwide at 2 pm on the 27th, captures the image of youth shaking in the face of the 'temptation' of freedom and play in front of their eyes. As of the 9th, this album has 1.56 million pre-orders, breaking TOMORROW X TOGETHER's own record for the highest pre-order volume, foreshadowing a global craze.

#먹튀검증

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ao3feed-tf2ships · 1 year

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freckle, freckle, what makes you so special?

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44395279

by nabisco

Jennifer Minh (F!Scout) is head over heels for Fiona Pauling. She's trying her absolute best to woo her, but she's crazy awkward about it. Maybe that's attractive, in it's own way!

ok disclaimers vampyros lesbos isnt a book its a movie. also sorry for talking about lost illusions as if its my fault. title is from the song w.a.m.s. by fall out boy!!

Words: 2287, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Team Fortress 2

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F

Characters: Miss Pauling (Team Fortress 2), Scout (Team Fortress 2), Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Zhanna (Team Fortress 2)

Relationships: Miss Pauling/Scout (Team Fortress 2), background soldier/zhanna

Additional Tags: Rule 63, Teen Romance, Alternate Universe - High School, fem!scout, Baseball, Pining, Tutoring, Miss Pauling Reads Lesbian Vampire Novels, Awkward Flirting, Teen Crush, theyre DORKS!!!, References to Lost Illusions by Balzac, References to Vampyros Lesbos, which isnt a book but. creative liberties, Scout is Vietnamese, because im right, John Doe is the name of F!Soldier. im funny, Slurs, they call themselves dykes. its like the 80s, the pacing is probably rushed. whatever

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44395279

#TF2 Scout #Miss Pauling #ScoutPauling

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xkzanova · 1 year

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unforth · 2 years

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Danmei Raws of Titles Censored/Removed by JJWXC

About two months ago, @celestialsilhouette, who knew I did fandom archival work, contacted me to ask if I'd help archive works that JJWXC had blocked by adding pirated copies to the Wayback machine. Since then, they, @alisajbrown and I have been working on that since then, as we've had time. Until a month ago Friday (Oct. 29, 2021), we hadn't done more than back up to Wayback, but when word hit that additional titles had been blocked, we switched gears from backing up to also making document copies to archive. But, we confronted the problem: having made these copies - from explicitly pirate sources - what should we do with them? How could we balance being both anti-censorship and anti-piracy (or at least, specifically anti-piracy of content created not-by-horrible-corporations)?

On the one hand, we don't want to contribute to piracy from the authors. So should we not share them?

On the other hand, fuck JJWXC and censorship. So should we share them freely?

On the other other hand, many people (including me) had paid for the raws on JJWXC of titles that are now blocked. So should we only share them with people who could produce proof of payment?

Since then, as we've continued to work, we've talked about the issues, and we've reached the following decision:

We are creating PDF copies of the original Chinese versions of danmei titles that have been removed by JJWXC for censorship purposes (as in: files of the raws, not English fan translations!!). We will share locked, non-copyable, non-downloadable copies of these titles ONLY with people who are willing to e-mail us proof of purchase of at least one version of the work in question.

We think this is the fairest, safest way to balance "anti-censorship" and "anti-piracy." We are determined to support the authors, not undermine them, while also preserving their work. If you aren't interested in doing the same, don't bother getting in touch. If we find out people are cheating this system we will remove the access, period.

1. If you bought titles on JJWXC that are now locked, and your Chinese isn't good enough for you to know how to prove that you purchased them, here's a tutorial on how to access proof of your purchase that I oh-so-conveniently wrote and posted.

2. If you hadn't gotten around to buying the titles you wanted on JJWXC, and they're now locked, you CAN still purchase them - just, in print instead. THIS POST by minmoyu contains lots of information on ways that you can buy physical copies. I personally have used minmoyu's post to help me buy from Books TW, and I wrote a guide on how to use Books TW to buy some of the locked titles.

In order to request a PDF, you must send us a screen capture or a photograph that demonstrates that you've bought the source material in any language (as in: I will accept purchases of the Korean or Vietnamese versions, trad or simplified Chinese, or - for the MXTX - proof of pre-order AND PAYMENT of the English translations). Any purchase proof must include either a log-in name in the screen capture OR a handwritten note with your log-in name that matches or is recognizably similar to the e-mail address from which you write to us. (For example: my username on Tumblr is "unforth." My e-mail name is "unforth6748." If I just wrote "unforth," that's similar enough that it's acceptable proof. If my username was unforth, though, and I sent from my personal account that has a completely different username, that wouldn't work.)

ALL PROOFS OF PURCHASE must include the screen name information indicated above - we must be able to recognize it's "you" by looking at the image/note and comparing it the e-mail address from which you contact us.

For example, here's a JJWXC screen cap of my purchases of Guardian and Tian Guan Ci Fu, with an identifying post-it:

We're deliberately emulating the system that @yukacchi uses for sharing their Guardian translation, and their post includes other screen caps/sample images/examples that match what we will also consider as appropriate proof. You can view that post here. (and, as a side note, Yukacchi is doing something similar with sharing raws - at least I think it's raws? it might be their translations, I'm not sure - though they've only got 2ha and Guardian available. They're accepting purchase of an equivalent value of other titles by the same authors as proof-for-access.)

We are currently accepting the following options as proof of purchase:

a screen capture or photograph of the confirmation of your purchase on JJWXC (the guide linked above explains how you can get that, even for locked titles) + a screen name/hand-written note linking it to your e-mail address username

a photograph of a hand-written note linking you to your e-mail address username next to/on top of/clearly associated with a physical copy of the book you're requested in any language, though if the language isn't Chinese, Japanese (are there official Japanese translations? I don't even know), or English, make sure I can see the cover, cause I can't read Korean, Vietnamese, Russian...yeah basically I can read the Latin alphabet, katakana, hiragana, some kanji, and some hanzi; any other alphabet I can't.

a screen capture or photograph of a receipt for a pre-order of SVSSS, TGCF, or MDZS in English translation. Please obscure all personal information! We do NOT want your name and address, we ONLY need to be able to link the image to the e-mail address from which you're contacting us.

E-mail me at unforth6748 at gmail dot com with your proof of purchase and which title(s) you're asking for, and I will send you links to access the pdf(s). These PDFs cannot be downloaded, copied-and-pasted, or printed. Note that it make take me a few days to get back to you, and my apologies in advance. I'm juggling a lot right now, but I didn't want to leave this unposted any longer (it's been pending for a month).

Making the files is time consuming, especially since we're doing our best to remove the annoying ads that a lot of piracy websites insert in the documents. We can't promise to have excised them all, nor can we promise that these are complete and uncensored, but we're doing our best. We also understand that sharing these is potentially contentious. Based on the information we currently have, we think this is the best way to handle this, but we are prepared to change that view and remove the files if we learn more and feel it's no longer appropriate to do share them. Feel free to DM me or send me an ask if you have questions or concerns.

Also note: PLEASE DO NOT ADD TO THIS WITH CRITICISMS OF THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT. THIS DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO HELP, AND MAY ACTIVELY HARM, THE AUTHORS. JUST DON'T DO IT.

Below the cut is a list of titles that we know of that have been removed from JJWXC and their current status. (read more)

CURRENTLY AVAILABLE:

墨香铜臭 (Mo Xiang Tong Xiu/MXTX)

魔道祖师 (Mo Dao Zu Shi/MDZS/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/GDC) in simplified Chinese. This version is partially censored (especially the incense burner extras), and missing the Taiwan exclusive. We have the others but honestly we just haven't had time to update the file yet.

魔道祖师 (Mo Dao Zu Shi/MDZS/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/GDC) in traditional Chinese. Uncensored to the best of my knowledge.

人渣反派自救系统 (Ren Zha Fanpai Zijiu Xitong/Scum Villain's Self-Saving System/SVSSS) in simplified Chinese. This version was originally censored. We think we've found all the censored scenes and extras and inserted them correctly.

天官赐福 (Tian Guan Ci Fu/TGCF/Heaven Official's Blessing) in simplified Chinese (split into two files). Has all extras.

肉包不吃肉 (Roubao Buchi Rou/Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat)

二哈和他的白猫师尊 (Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun/The Husky and His White Cat Shizun/2ha/Erha) in simplified Chinese (split into two files). Uncensored. Has all extras.

Priest

镇魂 (Zhenhun/Guardian) in simplified Chinese. Has all extras, we think.

杀破狼 (Sha Po Lang/SPL) in simplified Chinese. The extras are...complicated...but we think we got them all, and in a vaguely-correct order. We sure tried anyway.

Other Removed Titles that We Know Of:

Priest

天涯客 (Tian Ya Ke/TYK/Faraway Wanderers) in simplified Chinese. (We have a source we just haven't had time to clean up a copy yet.)

巫哲 (Wu Zhe)

撒野 (Saye/Run Freely) in simplified Chinese. (We have a source we just haven't had time to clean up a copy yet.)

Also pending: all titles in traditional Chinese.

We're all really busy with stuff in December (heck, we're all so busy it's taken me three weeks to actually post this from when I first wrote it) so we probably won't get to any additional titles until the new year, but I'll try to scrounge the time for TYK.

If you know of other titles that have been removed and we should search for, please let us know.

Also, lest anyone come at me for double standards, here's the proof that I held myself to exactly the same ownership requirements that I'm expecting of others. I've already posted the screen cap I took of my own purchase of Guardian and TGCF on JJWXC.

And here are the hard copies of Erha, SVSSS, MDZS, and SPL that I bought on Books TW:

I tried to buy a physical copy of TYK but it wasn't available; I'm going to keep looking, and I'll do my absolute damnedest to acquire it legally before I finish and share the file; if I'm not able to, I'll double check the notes I took on it's price on JJWXC when I first signed up there, and then I'll get something else from Priest of equivalent value (probably Qiye).

Which is to say: I practice what I preach. Don't waste what little time I have if you're not prepared to do as much.)

#mdzs #tgcf #svsss #spl #2ha #guardian #zhenhun #unforth rambles #or something #god i don't even know how to tag this #i don't really have time for this to go live right now #but i'm so damn sick of sitting on it #i have no idea how much response to expect it to get #i could plausibly believe getting virtually no requests all the way through getting dozens or hundreds #but yeah i'm just gonna throw it out there #and hope it's closer to no requests #cause tiiiiime

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yuyuntianyu · 3 years

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[2HA analysis blog] To love you is torment but leave you I cannot

I wanted to write this (hopefully not-too-long) blog to give 2HA fandom a different perspective of the events in the past timeline. I noticed that there are many little things that could not be carried over to the English language. These little things can give more explanations to our characters’ actions so I hope sharing this would help the novel make more sense. This blog focuses on Taxian-jun and Chu Fei.

Warning: Spoilers ! ! ! Taxian-jun and Chu Fei are their own trigger warnings ! ! !

Despite the novel having 350 chapters, we really know little about what happened between Taxian-jun and Chu Fei besides the abuse and mistreatment and that little is relayed to us by the Most Unreliable Narrator of the Cultivation World - Mo Ran Mo Weiyu. If we only take Mo Ran for his words then a lot of his and Chu Wanning’s decisions told later on would seem irrational and almost silly. So let’s dive deep in the past so we can understand how the great cultivator Beidou Xian-zun could raise such a dumb husky since the events in the past would explain the more irrational decisions made by both main characters.

Given Mo Ran’s narrator is about as reliable as his character in the first 120 chapters, we have to look at other more subtle clues and some of them are due to cultural and linguistic differences.

1. I used to like you a lot

At his coronation day, Taxian-jun stated that he once greatly looked up to Chu Wanning and that he used to love and respect him dearly. Maybe I am reading into this too much but this is my theory: The flower could erase the memory itself but cannot erase the feelings associated with the memory. He had his memories of the good deeds Chu Wanning did for him erased but still remembered that he used to love and respect him. It doesn’t make sense unless it is indeed that the flower could not erase its host’s feelings. So throughout the novel, Mo Ran’s complicated emotions are complicated possibly because he could not remember how he came to have these feelings. Similarly, Hua Binan could mess with the undead Taxian-jun’s memory to a great extent but could not erase his obsession with Chu Wanning.

2. I gave you a new title

Chu Fei. 楚妃. In the Imperial Chinese harem hierarchy, “Fei” means consort and not concubine (嬪 “Pín"). Consorts were highly respected positions in the palace weidling much political power and were only seconds to the Empress Consort. Another major difference is a consort would be married to the emperor while a concubine would not. So if Taxian-jun had truly wanted to only humiliate Chu Wanning and keep him for the carnal pleasures (I am intentionally ignoring his breeding kink completely), he would keep him as a concubine but he gave Chu Wanning the Consort title and hid him from the world. At this point, Taxian-jun had almost lost Chu Wanning once and had spent a lot of effort to bring him back from the verge of death after hearing Chu Wanning’s apology so his anger might have softened a bit. Also, given that Chu Wanning is a man, having a legitimate offspring ( (I am still intentionally ignoring Mo Ran's breeding kink completely) is not an issue so although this is not clearly stated, I believe Taxian-jun wanted to force a relationship and somewhat proper marriage on Chu Wanning. Another hint of this is in an Extra chapter where Taxian-jun tried to get Chu Wanning a birthday gift. He recalled that in his past timeline, he had wanted Chu Wanning to give him something on his birthday as well and that he had wanted Chu Wanning’s heart.

3. Shizun likes to write letters and poems

On Book 3 Chapter 247, Chu Wanning sat down and wrote a few unsent letters to the people he used to know. He also wrote a few lines of poetry. In the first few lines taken from different literature works, he expressed his sense of helplessness and his wish to remain untainted despite the circumstances. The more important two lines are from a poem written by a real poet named Fàn Chéngdà ( 范成大) who lived in the 12th century Southern-Song dynasty. The two lines read:

“May I be like the stars, may you* be as the moon. Night after night, may we shine together side by side.” **

*In the original work, the character used instead of you is “jun” 君 (as in 踏仙君 Taxian-jun). 君 could mean king, emperor, lord, or gentleman ** This is my rough translation - I haven’t found an English version of this poem

These two lines are commonly used in romantic novels as a way to express one’s unchanging love and loyalty to another person despite the circumstances. He compared himself as the stars and wanted to remain by Taxian-jun whom he viewed as the moon. Chu Wanning wrote this to express his willingness to stay but he would never voice this out loud. In the next timeline, he did the same thing by quietly loving and caring for Mo Ran 1.0 despite the mistreatment and was content with never expressing his feelings vocally. Mo Ran was rather uneducated and thus could not fully comprehend these two lines and misunderstood that Chu Wanning was missing Xue Meng.

4. You are all I have left

In chapter 252, after Chu Wanning returned to The Red Lotus Pavilion, he found Taxian-jun already waiting for him. Taxian-jun told Chu Wanning about a dream he had and said:

“I am afraid I don’t resent you… I want to resent you… Otherwise, I…” “In the end, it’s just you and I”.

This is not the first time he expressed that Chu Wanning was all he had left or they only had each other. I believe that at this point, Taxian-jun might have somewhat believed Chu Wanning and recognized that his memories were missing. His words and behaviors seemed a lot more gentle and he mentioned they did have periods of time where their marriage was easier. I believe it was after this point. He told us about the numerous times he attempted to spoil his consort or expressed his affection through gifts, a trip outside the palace, goods, jewels, and even teaching Chu Wanning how to cook or personally taking care of Chu Wanning when he was sick. At one point, Taxian-jun expressed his wish for a more peaceful marriage with Chu Wanning through his breeding kink by saying that if they had children, perhaps they would be more civil towards each other.

Edit: I really wanted to go about this blog without having to refer to their particular taste in bed

5. Are you still mad?

This is a smaller detail but in the original text and the Vietnamese official translation, the way they talked to each other had a bit more of the “husband-wife” dynamic. Especially Chu Wanning ( l┐(︶▽︶)┌ ), the comment section said he sounded like when your wife is mad that you didn’t take out the trash but still says: “I’m not mad” and Taxian-jun, the husband, would come around and ask “Are you still mad at me?” after every fight.

6. I did not think you would really leave me.

On Chapter 99, Mo Ran recalled the fight between him and Chu Wanning after an assassination attempt. In order to convince Mo Ran to not go to Taxue Palace, Chu Wanning said:

“If you destroy Taxue palace, if you kill Xue Meng, I will die before you”.

Now the line “I will die before you” in my language is less of a suicidal ideation but more of a threat. It's used when a person already knows that they are important to the other person and is using their own death as a threat to make the other person do something. This line is thrown around a lot during heated arguments between people close to each other but they almost never mean it. (Even my mom said it numerous times before T_T . I personally think it’s manipulative). Therefore, it is understandable Taxian-jun did not take this line seriously and replied almost mockingly. After all, they had been married for almost a decade at that point, Taxian-jun probably felt somewhat comfortable that Chu Wanning would not do anything reckless. He could not foresee that Chu Wanning meant what he said and actually followed through with his words. I believe that if Taxian-jun had known that Chu Wanning was serious, Taxian-jun would not have gone to Taxue Palace. 7. Don't leave me, ok?

Then Chu Wanning died and Mo Ran spent two years alone. In those two years, we know he basically went insane because of grief, talked to a corpse everyday, and deep fried his Empress Consort. But strangely enough, Mo Ran 1.0 did not immediately mention this after being reborn although it was the main reason he committed suicide. And at that point, it had been well over a decade since Shi Mei faked his death in the past timeline, yet Mo Ran 1.0 seemed to still hold a lot of resentment towards Chu Wanning. Also, he said he could accept Shi Mei’s death but would never accept Chu Wanning’s. So honestly, it did not make sense to me the first time I read the novel and I believed Mo Ran resented Chu Wanning for a different reason.

The answer was first hinted at in chapter 9 when Mo Ran scolded the sleeping Chu Wanning. He called Chu Wanning a donkey hoof (lol) and this is actually an idiom to scold someone who is disloyal and unfaithful in love. The puzzles came together when the undead Taxian-jun showed up and immediately went after Chu Wanning (and not Shi Mei). He believed Chu Wanning used his death to hurt him and was angry at Chu Wanning for leaving him. This is the resentment Mo Ran 1.0 carried over to the next timeline. He hated Chu Wanning for abandoning him. This is solidified in chapter 262 by the undead Taxian-jun pleading to Chu Wanning:

“Don’t betray me” “Don’t leave me the second time. The first time you left, I could choose death as a relief. This time, even death is not an option any more… I won’t be able to bear it…”

So there it is! I hope this blog brings some new information and feel free to discuss! Let me know if you have any questions for me ＼(￣▽￣)／

Disclaimer: Plenty of this is my conclusion drawn from the already ambiguous original text and various translations. Unless Meatbun says it, it’s not canon. I am looking at the novel in three different languages so I might have made some mistakes. Pls forgive. Also, I am not making excuses for Mo Ran 0.5’s actions nor am I justifying the abuse in any way. Chu Wanning never said Mo Ran 0.5 was innocent of these crimes nor will I.

#2ha #the husky and his white cat shizun #chu wanning #mo ran #mo weiyu #ranwan #taxian jun #chu fei #erha #husky is dumb but husky tried his best

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wherever-the-chaos-is · 5 years

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A Guide to MDZS novel and its adaptations

Mo Dao Zu Shi (MDZS) is a BL novel by Chinese author Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (MXTX). It was first published in Chinese as a web novel but it is now also available in paperback and in audiobook format. Official translations in Thai, Vietnamese, and Korean are currently published. Fan translations in Japanese and English are available online.

The novel has been adapted in the following formats: audio drama, manhua, donghua, and live action drama. The following are links for purchasing and accessing the novel and the various adaptations.

Novel (Original Source)

Status: Complete as of 2016

English Translations (complete): https://exiledrebelsscanlations.com/grandmaster-of-demonic-cultivation/

Official Source at JJWXC (currently unavailable)

MXTX’s author page on JJWXC: http://www.jjwxc.net/oneauthor.php?authorid=1322620

This is a screencap of the bottom of her page, where you can see her other works (2 are still on lockdown 😢):

Mainland Simplified Version Volume 1 Purchase Link (censored): CURRENTLY OFF SHELVES https://detail.tmall.com/item.htm?id=583563763849

Taiwanese books (uncensored and extended chapter 111) set is no longer available: Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, and Volume 4

Korean Version Volume 1 (unsure censorship or not): http://item2.gmarket.co.kr/English/detailview/item.aspx?goodscode=1642828680

Korean Version Volume 2: http://item2.gmarket.co.kr/English/detailview/item.aspx?goodscode=1658845993

Another place to read in CN (censored): https://www.luoxia.com/modaozushi/

Audiobook (Volume 1 only, ongoing): https://www.ximalaya.com/youshengshu/25069034/

MXTX Weibo: https://weibo.com/u/5907302111

Audio Drama

Status of the original audio drama: Complete as of October 2019

Status of the Japanese ver.: Ongoing

The audio drama is the most faithful adaptation of the novel while also adding some FUN extras. Highly recommended!!! It is a cinematic experience!!!

Guide on how to purchase the CN audio drama: https://twitter.com/rossogattino/status/1048244205129068545?s=20

The Japanese version can be purchased through the MimiFM app and has more accessible options for international fans.

Links to each season on the official site:

Season 1: https://www.missevan.com/mdrama/drama/15861

Season 2: https://www.missevan.com/mdrama/drama/19059

Season 3: https://www.missevan.com/mdrama/drama/22602

*OR download 猫耳FM (missevan) from your device’s app store, then search -> 魔道祖师第一季 | 魔道祖师第二季 | 魔道祖师第三季 | or just 魔道祖师, and it will appear.

CN Audio Drama Producer: https://weibo.com/brackets

CN Audio Drama Studio’s Weibo: https://weibo.com/trionespenguin

CN Audio Drama English fansubs (ongoing): https://suibiansubs.tumblr.com/

MimiFM twitter for JP audio drama: https://twitter.com/mimifm11

Manhua

Status: Ongoing

The manhua follows the novel closely though it misses some details.

Guide on how to view/purchase the manhua on the official site: https://twitter.com/chiharuzushi/status/1122649132223664129?s=20

Official site to read: https://www.kuaikanmanhua.com/web/topic/1749/ (more recent chapters need to be paid for)

Animated Manhua version: https://t.co/MWraePL4VP?amp=1

English Fan Translations: See on MangaDex

Official English Translations: https://m.wecomics.com/comic/index/id/236

Donghua (Anime)

Status: Season 2 Concluded as of September 2019

The donghua is a loose adaptation of the novel. Expect differences in plot and characterization.

Guide on how to purchase Tencent VIP subscription to watch the donghua on the official site: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOPXtMC-7iE&feature=youtu.be

Donghua (official): https://v.qq.com/x/cover/k4mutekomtrdbux/i0026ssfw4k.html?ptag=2_7

Official English Subtitles: https://wetv.vip/play?cid=r8t02fkxr9jyvvn&language=en&vid=e0029bmqymw (also on WeTV app)

MDZS Q or chibi donghua can also be found on WeTV

English fansubs: https://guodongsubs.tumblr.com/tagged/Mo-Dao-Zu-Shi

Donghua’s Weibo: https://weibo.com/u/5406119222

Live Action Drama: Chenqingling/The Untamed

Status: Complete as of August 2019

The live action is also a loose adaptation of the novel so, again, expect differences in plot and characterization.

CQL on Tencent (VIP): https://v.qq.com/x/cover/vbb35hm6m6da1wc.html

Offical English subs on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMX26aiIvX5pYn98zge18X88sfeYbnhTr

CQL on WeTV (subs in English, Thai, Bahasa Indonesia, Simplified Chinese, Traditional Chinese): https://wetv.vip/play?vid=d0031smeq8n&language=en (also on WeTV app)

CQL on Viki (subs available in 16 languages specified in description): https://www.viki.com/tv/36657c-the-untamed?locale=en

CQL is also on Netflix.

CQL Official Weibo: https://weibo.com/u/5921252454

Mobile Game

Still on beta. No release date yet. Press release says it will be following the novel's story despite taking CQL's title (apparently because the title "MDZS" did not pass the review board... just China censorship things...). Head over to cql.163.com to see previews!

We strongly suggest reading the novel first (+ manhua and/or audio drama) for the full effect of the unique way in which the story is told. Censorship takes away, not only the gay in the story, but also a lot of its complex layers. The original story also contains MATURE themes and EXPLICIT content, you know the drill.

If there’s anything that was left out, let us know.

Please support the works from the official site if you can!

(Updated on 31 July 2020)

#mo dao zu shi #mdzs #cql #the untamed #chen qing ling #chenqingling #魔道祖师 #陈情令 #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wei ying #lan zhan #wangxian #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #my post #mxtx #mo xiang tong xiu #founder of diabolism #master of diabolism

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dweemeister · 4 years

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2020 Movie Odyssey Award for Best Original Song (preliminary round)

Yup, it’s back (bullet indentations are not working, so this post will look very ugly on your dashboards)!

Tagging a few folks who have participated before in this annual tradition/folks who I would like to extend an open invitation to (please contact me if you’re interested so I can sort you in a group ASAP... you will also be tagged for the final unless you tell me you are not interested): @birdsongvelvet, @bitch-genius, @dog-of-ulthar, @idontknowmuchaboutmovies, @loveless422, @lvl9gay, @neverwasastoryofmorewhoa, @phendranaedge, @poncho-honcho, @sayaf, @shadesofhappy, @thethirdman8, @uncoolforelimb, and @wehadfacesthen.

Hello everybody. For my fellow Americans, I hope your Thanksgiving was a good one. For the non-Americans reading things, I hope you are doing well, as always! Many things have fallen to the wayside in this unforgettable year. So in hopes of providing some sense of continuity and normalcy, here - as you have agreed to - is the Preliminary Round for 2020's Movie Odyssey Award for Best Original Song (MOABOS). This is the eighth time it has been contested and the seventh consecutive year it has been open to involvement from family, friends, and tumblr followers.

For those new to this, my classic movie blog traditionally ends the year by honoring some of the best achievements from movies that I saw for the first time this calendar year (the "Movie Odyssey") with an Oscar-like ceremony. I choose all the nominees and winners from each category, save one: Best Original Song. It is the only category I can think of that does not require you to watch several movies in their entirety. I consider MOABOS as a sort of cinematic-musical thank-you for your moral support in various ways.

An unspecified number of songs have already advanced to the final round. 24 songs will contest this prelim in two groups - Group A and Group B. In a year when COVID-19 has closed theaters (and which I refused to go to an indoor theater even when they reopened), a year that I did not feel compelled to watch the newest releases on streaming services, there is not a single 2020 entry for 2020's MOABOS. That is, obviously, a MOABOS first - no other MOABOS edition has lacked a shortlisted song from a film released that same calendar year. And as of writing this sentence, I have not seen a single film released in 2020. Despite the lack of 1930s songs, this year's shortlisted songs might be the oldest on average. In other news, this year's field is a modest improvement from the record monolingual field of last year's (which contained only English and two Vietnamese-language entries). 2019's preliminary was the most chaotic we had ever seen, with shocking last-day stumbles and surges from certain songs ("I Dug a Ditch" from Thousands Cheer) that riled up a lot of participants. It's 2020 - will there be a repeat or even more drama at this stage?

INSTRUCTIONS Please rank (#1-12) at least six of your group's songs. Please consider to the best of your ability: how musically interesting the song is (incl. and not limited to musical phrasing and orchestration); its lyrics; context within the film (contextual blurbs provided for every entry for those who haven't seen the films); choreography/dance direction (if applicable); and the song's cultural impact/life outside the film (if applicable, and, in my opinion, least important factor). Imperfections in audio and video quality may not be used against any song. I encourage you to send in comments and reactions with your rankings - it makes the process more enjoyable for you and myself! The top five songs in each group automatically advance to the final round. I reserve the right to pick 0-2 songs from one or both groups that finished outside the top five in their respective groups to contest the final round.

The deadline for submission is Saturday, December 12 at 11 PM Pacific Time. That is 9 PM Hawaii/Aleutian Time. That deadline is also Sunday, December 13 at 1 AM Central Time / 2 AM Eastern Time / 7 AM GMT / 8 AM CET / 9 AM EET. This deadline - as we have seen in the last few years - may be pushed back if there are a large number of people who have not submitted in time. However, I very much do not wish to extend the deadline because the final round is more intensive and usually involves more participants. Tabulation details are in the “read more” below.

Please participate in the group you have been sorted into, if you have not yet been sorted into a group and would like to participate, please contact me. You can access most, not all, of your group’s songs in these YouTube playlists: (Group A) / (Group B). Again, please note that not all of your group's songs are in the playlist for various reasons.

Happy listening. Feel free to listen as many times as you need, and I hope you discover music and movies that strike your interest. The following is formatted... ("Song title", composer and lyricist, film title):

GROUP A

“Blue Shadows on the Trail”, music and lyrics by Eliot Daniel and Johnny Lange, Melody Time (1948)

Performed by Roy Rogers and the Sons of the Pioneers

This is the introductory song to the final segment of Melody Time. That segment is dedicated to the legend of Pecos Bill, and this atmospheric song leads into the telling of that story.

“Born Free”, music by John Barry, lyrics by Don Black, Born Free (1966)

Performed by Matt Munro

Winner of the Academy Award for Best Original Song

This version with lyrics appears in the end credits. The main theme in the song is introduced in the opening credits and is incorporated extensively in John Barry's score across the film. Born Free, based on the non-fiction book of the same name is about two white Kenyan conservationists who raise an orphaned lion cub and eventually release her into the wild.

“But the World Goes 'Round”, music by John Kander, lyrics by Fred Ebb, New York, New York (1977)

Performed by Liza Minnelli

In this musical, USO singer Francine Evans (Minnelli) has been performing in New York City nightclubs, hoping to someday become a major recording star. This song appears as she is recording that very hit that will propel her to stardom.

“Exsultate Justi”, music and lyrics by John Williams, Empire of the Sun (1987)

Performed by orchestra and chorus under the direction of Williams

Lyrics in Latin

In this historical epic, affluent British school boy Jamie Graham (a young Christian Bale) is living with his parents in Shanghai when the Japanese invade. Jamie is separated from his parents and placed in an internment camp. Soon before the end of WWII, the prisoners are moved elsewhere, but Jamie hides and stays put. This song plays as Jamie bikes around the empty camp and continues to play as he encounters liberating U.S. troops. Jamie is dirty and malnourished when found; one can argue that this song is used ironically. It plays once more over the end credits. "Exsultate Justi" is a variation on a theme John Williams develops over the course of the film and harkens back to Jamie's past, attending Anglican services with parents.

"Farewell to Storyville", music by Louis Alter, lyrics by Edgar De Lange, New Orleans (1947)

Performed by Louis Armstrong and his band, Billie Holiday, and company

In New Orleans, the Storyville district was a den of drinking, gambling, jazz, and prostitution. The district was the home to a heavily black populace. The U.S. military, about to establish a Naval base nearby, forces the city to close the district for good. This song is a jazzy dirge to a center of jazz - a musical genre looked down upon by many of the city's upper-class whites due to its ties (real and imagined) to crime.

"Hawaiian Sunset", music and lyrics by Sid Tepper and Roy C. Bennett, Blue Hawaii (1961)

Performed by Elvis Presley

In a musical packed end-to-end with songs, Chadwick "Chad" Gates (Elvis) has taken a job with a tour guide agency - and this includes performing during a luau for tourists. "Hawaiian Sunset" appears as one of the dinner show's numbers.

"Is There Still Anything That Love Can Do?", music and lyrics by Yôjirô Noda, Weathering with You (2019, Japan)

Performed by RADWIMPS

Lyrics in Japanese (translation)

Weathering with You is a romantic fantasy anime about a high school boy who runs away from his rural home to Tokyo, where he meets a girl who can manipulate the weather. It has been inexplicably raining for weeks without interruption in Tokyo, so they form a business to help clear the inclement weather for special events. The melody of this song is heard throughout the film's score. It does not appear with lyrics until late in the film. The song is played under the boy's seemingly impossible attempt to save her from an unwilling human sacrifice.

There is so much plot in this damn film (it's all Makoto Shinkai's fault) - I can't explain the context of the song or this movie in a reasonable amount of space.

“Mad Monster Party”, music by Maury Laws, lyrics by Jules Bass, Mad Monster Party? (1967)

Performed by Ethel Ennis

(opening credits version) / (soundtrack version with no sound effects)

In this Rankin/Bass stop-motion animated film, Baron Boris von Frankenstein (Boris Karloff in his final Frankenstein-related role) has discovered a formula that can destroy matter. Dispatching his bats to send the news, he summons the various members of the Worldwide Organization of Monsters to inform them of his discovery. This song is performed over the film's opening credits and the various introductions for the monsters as they receive their summons.

“My Dream Is Yours”, music by Harry Warren, lyrics by Ralph Blane, My Dream Is Yours (1949)

Initially performed by Doris Day; later reprised by Hal Derwin

Singer Martha Gibson (Day) has abruptly left New York City for Los Angeles to become a star on the radio. In a film where personal sacrifice is central, she stresses over how to bring her son out west with her, the direction of her career, and her tumultuous love life. "My Dream Is Yours" is the song that makes Martha a star, laying out the film's themes in its lyrics. I was unable to find Derwin's reprise, but no matter as the reprise is rather inconsequential.

“Ride the Wild Surf”, music and lyrics by Jan Berry, Brian Wilson, and Roger Christian, Ride the Wild Surf (1964)

Performed by Jan and Dean

Ride the Wild Surf is a surfing film that, unlike most surfing films of this time, is a drama. It follows three surfers (Fabian, Tab Hunter, Peter Brown) who have come to Oahu at the end of December to ride the large waves of Waimea Bay (made famous internationally by this song, this movie, and the Beach Boys' "Surfin' USA"). This song appears in the film's closing credits. The video provided is a montage of surfing footage that appears in the film.

“That’ll Do”, music and lyrics by Randy Newman, Babe: Pig in the City (1998)

Performed by Peter Gabriel

Nominated for the Academy Award for Best Original Song

This song begins at the end (and through the end credits) of Babe: Pig in the City, the second and last film in this series about a sheep-herding pig who perseveres amidst other animals and humans with ulterior agendas. The title is derived from the famous quote said by Arthur Hoggett (James Cromwell) to reassure Babe: "That'll do, pig. That'll do."

“Waqt Ne Kiya Kya Hassen Sitam”, music and lyrics by S.D. Burman, Kaagaz Ke Phool (1959, India)

Performed by Geeta Dutt (dubbing Waheeda Rehman)

Lyrics in Hindi - roughly, "Time Has Inflicted Such Sweet Cruelty On Us"

Song begins at 1:03:31 and ends at 1:07:51

Make sure to turn on the video’s English captions

In this romantic tragedy told in flashback, Suresh Sinha (Guru Dutt) is a director looking back on his life. Suresh is unhappily married to a woman whose in-laws look down on him because, to them, working in films is contemptible to their social class. Suresh meets a woman, Shanti (Waheeda Rehman), on accident and she is soon cast as the lead for his next film. They fall in love, but it is never consummated for various reasons. This song is the most explicit statement of that love in this film. How much of the scene's set-up is observable by the characters is up to the viewer's interpretation.

Group A participants include: @addaellis, @introspectivemeltdown, @memetoilet, @myluckyerror, @plus-low-overthrow, @shootingstarvenator, @themusicmoviesportsguy, @theybecomestories, @umgeschrieben, @underblackwings, @yellanimal. Seven others - including myself and my sister - are currently slated to be voting in Group A.

GROUP B

“Angela”, music and lyrics by José Feliciano and Janna Merlyn Feliciano, Aaron Loves Angela (1975)

Performed by José Feliciano

(English-language version) / (Spanish single version)

Played over the opening credits to this teenage drama that is partly a blaxploitation film, partly an interracial coming-of-age romance. The movie wasn't a hit, but the Spanish-language version of this song was received well in Latin America.

“Aren’t You Kind of Glad We Did?”, music by George Gershwin, lyrics by Ira Gershwin, The Shocking Miss Pilgrim (1947)

Originally performed by Betty Grable and Dick Haymes

(soundtrack version with Judy Garland and Haymes) / (modern arrangement far more faithful to how song sounds in the film)

Cynthia Pilgrim (Grable) is the top typewriting student from a business college in this period piece where the typewriter is the newest invention to sweep the business world. This song appears as Pilgrim and her boss, John Pritchard (Haymes), are about to go out on a date for dinner after talking about how society looks down on women in public without a chaperone.

“The Blues are Brewin’”, music by Louis Alter, lyrics by Edgar De Lange, New Orleans (1947)

Performed by Louis Armstrong and his band and Billie Holiday

(in-film version) / (Billie Holiday single)

After being evicted by the U.S. military from the historic Storyville district of New Orleans (the Navy had just opened a base in the area, and would not tolerate places of gambling, jazz, and prostitution nearby), the characters played by Armstrong and Holiday tour the country with a jazz band in tow. This song appears within a montage showing the passage of time.

“Dekhi Zamaane Ki Yaari / Bichhde Sabhi Baari Baari”, music by S.D. Burman, lyrics by Kaifi Azmi, Kaagaz Ke Phool (1959, India)

Performed by Mohammad Rafi (dubbing Guru Dutt)

Lyrics in Hindi - roughly, "I Have Seen How Deeply Friendship Lies / I Have Seen People Abandon Me One by One"

Part 1 (3:44-8:27) / Part 2 (2:16:29-2:20:42)

Make sure to turn on the video’s English captions

In this romantic tragedy, Suresh Sinha (Dutt) is a washed-up director looking back on his life. In the first part, the song leads into the rest of the film - which is almost entirely a flashback. In brief, Suresh is unhappily married to a woman whose in-laws look down on him because, to them, working in films is contemptible to their social class. Suresh meets a woman, Shanti (Waheeda Rehman), on accident and she is soon cast as the lead for his next film. They fall in love, but it is never consummated for various reasons. Eventually, his career crashes after a box office bomb and her career is ascendant. Leading into the second part of the song, Suresh is penniless and working as an extra at the movie studio. Shanti recognizes him, wants to help, but he refuses to revive his career on the back of her success. Kaagaz Ke Phool has elements of autobiography, and Suresh's fate has parallels with what happened to Dutt after this film was released.

“End Theme from Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades”, music by Eiken Sakurai, lyrics by Kazuko Koike, Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades (1972, Japan)

Performed by Tomisaburo Wakayama

Lyrics in Japanese (translation)

Video provided is not safe for work (NSFW) due to stylized violence

Ogami Ittô (Wakayama) is a former, disgraced executioner for the Tokugawa shogunate who wanders the land with his young son. He is intent on exacting revenge on the clan that murdered his wife. This song is played non-diegetically after Ittô has slain dozens of a corrupt governor's bodyguards and walks onward, pushing his son in a babycart, away from the dead left in his wake. This is the third of six films in the Lone Wolf and Cub series.

"Happy Endings", music by John Kander, lyrics by Fred Ebb, New York, New York (1977)

Performed by Liza Minnelli and company (that's Jack Haley - who played the Tin Man and was, at the time, Minnelli's father-in-law - roughly seven minutes in)

(use in film) / (soundtrack version)

It is highly recommended one sees how this song is used in the film. Bear with me: this song is part of a movie within a movie. Within that movie within a movie, there is another movie. "Happy Endings" is the title end song to a film called Happy Endings within New York, New York. Singer Francine Evans (Liza Minnelli) has made it big as a recording artist and caps off her hit film, Happy Endings, with this song. We see Francine's ex, played by Robert De Niro, in the audience as the film ends. "Happy Endings" is a homage/deconstruction to midcentury Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM) musicals. It serves the film as "The Broadway Melody" does to Singin' in the Rain (1952) or the 17-minute ballet does to conclude An American in Paris (1951).

"Here They Come (From All Over the World)", music and lyrics by P.F. Sloan and Steve Barri, The T.A.M.I. Show (1964)

Performed by Jan and Dean

The link above provides the entire film. You only need to watch from 0:00-4:11. If you like music from this era or want to hear more, this film is highly, highly recommended.

This is the opening credits song to a concert film recorded over two days in Santa Monica, California on October 28 and 29, 1964. The Teenage Awards Music International (T.A.M.I. - yes, I know it's an awkward name) Show included many of the most popular musical stars of that time - almost all of them name-dropped in this song. Jan and Dean, a surf music duo, served as hosts (and performed during) the show. You folks are lucky that this is the only original song from this film!

“Moonlight Swim”, music by Ben Weisman, lyrics by Sylvia Dee, Blue Hawaii (1961)

Performed by Elvis Presley

In a musical packed end-to-end with songs, Chadwick "Chad" Gates (Elvis) has taken a job with a tour guide agency. On his first day, he drives his first clients - a school teacher (who not so secretly is attracted to Chad) and four teenagers (one of whom becomes smitten) - to their destination.

“On the Boardwalk (in Atlantic City)”, music by Josef Myrow, lyrics by Mack Gordon, Three Little Girls in Blue (1946)

Performed by Carol Stewart (dubbing for Vera-Ellen), June Haver, and Vivian Blaine

(original soundtrack) / (Dick Haymes single)

In this rarely-seen musical (20th Century Fox wasn't very good at promoting its back catalogue compared to some other studios, and the situation is worse now that they are owned by Disney), three chicken farmer sisters (Vera-Ellen, Haver, and Blaine) decide to travel to Atlantic City in hopes of marrying a rich husband after learning their aunt's inheritance is not nearly as much as they want. They sing this song as they arrive and check into their hotel suite - which they apparently have not looked up the rate for.

Those who listened to the soundtrack version... FYI, $9.25 in 1902 is $280 in 2020.

“Personality”, music by Jimmy Van Heusen, lyrics by Johnny Burke, Road to Utopia (1946)

Performed by Dorothy Lamour

(in-film performance) / (live radio performance)

In the fourth film of the Road to... comedy series, Bob Hope and Bing Crosby's characters have just overpowered two Alaskan thugs with a history of murderous violence. As they enter a saloon dressed up as those two thugs, all of the patrons - in a town that only knows the thugs by reputation - shut up in terror. They are treated to a performance by Sal (Lamour), who is trying to find a map of a gold mine that the real outlaws supposedly have. A visual narrator (Robert Benchley) interrupts the scene before the song briefly.

“Please Don’t Stop Loving Me”, music and lyrics by Joy Byers, Frankie and Johnny (1966)

Performed by Elvis Presley

(in-film performance) / (single version)

Johnny (Elvis) and girlfriend Frankie (Donna Douglas) work on a Mississippi River riverboat as performers. Johnny is addicted to gambling and believes that another woman is spurring on his recent run of good luck. During a fit of jealousy-as-acting, Frankie accidentally shoots Johnny during a bit of musical theater (someone switched out the blanks for real bullets). This song occurs after Johnny has recovered from the accident.

"Wichita", music by Hans Salter, lyrics by Ned Washington, Wichita (1955)

Performed by Tex Ritter

This is the opening title song to this Western. It is one of many Wyatt Earp movies set before the famous Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. Earp (Joel McCrea) arrives in an otherwise lawless town of Wichita, Kansas where gunplay is rampant. In a radical move, Earp orders to seize the firearms of anyone living in or entering town - which doesn't sit well with some outlaws. This song is incorporated throughout the film's score.

Group B participants include: @cokwong, @emilylime5, @halfwaythruthedark, @maximiliani, @thewolfofelectricavenue, and @voicetalentbrendan. Twelve others - including me and my sister - are slated to be voting in Group B.

Contact me however you wish if you have questions or comments regarding MOABOS' processes or something specific about a song or a few. Please let me know as soon as possible if you are having difficulty accessing one of the songs (especially if it is region-locked) or if there is an error in the playlist.

I thank you all for your support for the Movie Odyssey, the blog, and for me personally - no matter how long I’ve known you or in what capacity. You will be contacted for the final round regardless of your participation here. If turnout in one group is lagging behind compared to another, I will ask some of the more senior participants to participate in the other group, too. No pressure if you cannot get to this, although I will be checking in as the deadlines get close. Stay safe and socially distanced, everyone.

TABULATION This preliminary round uses a points-based, ranked choice method which has been used since the first time I asked friends, tumblr followers, and family to help out. A respondent’s first choice receives 10 points, the second choice receives 9, the third choice receives 8, etc. The winner is the song that ends up with the most total points. The tabulation method used in this preliminary is used only as a tiebreaker in the final round (more on how the final is tabulated when we get there).

This tiebreaker will look slightly different this year.

Tiebreakers for above: 1) total points earned; 2) total #1 votes; 3) average placement on my and my sister's ballots; 4) tie declared

#2020 Movie Odyssey Awards

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joftw · 4 years

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⌠ LANA CONDOR, TWENTY-TWO, SHE/HER, CIS FEMALE ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, JOSEPHINE “JO” TRAN! according to their records, they’re a FOURTH year, specializing in RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT + “MACGUYVER” SURVIVAL SKILLS & NAVIGATION; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (black hair flicking off her shoulders, a sardonic smile, and a slightly clenched jaw). when it’s the (virgo)’s birthday on 9/02/1998, they always request their BEEF PHO from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

NAME: Josephine Pearl Tran

KNOWN AS: Jo

BIRTHDATE: September 2, 1998

ASTROLOGY: Virgo sun / Capricorn moon / Scorpio rising

HOMETOWN: New York, NY

RESIDENCE: Roseville, VA ( Gallagher Academy )

GENDER: Cis female ( she/her )

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Refuses to label, but she prefers women

HEIGHT: 5'3"

HAIR COLOR: Black

EYE COLOR: Dark brown

TATTOOS: Rose on her inner arm

KNOWN LANGUAGES: English, German, French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Romanian, Vietnamese & learning Tagalog

IMMEDIATE FAMILY:

Steven Tran: Father, former spy, current night security guard

Kelly Do ( formally Tran ) : Mother, dental hygienist, estranged

Victor Tran: Older brother, Blackthorne alum, estranged

BACKGROUND.

Jo had grown up with a seemingly normal childhood, very much middle class. Her father -- her hero -- was a spy, while her mother was merely a dentist hygienist. Her older brother Victor was the first of the two siblings to develop an interest in the espionage career path. He was the one who found the best spy prep school to attend – and two years later, it only made sense for Jo to be in the same school as her brother.

Jo had never been incredibly girly, spending most of her childhood tagging behind her brother’s friends and picking fights with them. When alone, she spent her time building things, using old tech and parts of anything she could get her hands on to make something completely new. At eleven years old, she had single-handedly made a go-kart for one of her brother's friends, earning him a win in a drag race. Her father had always told her how easy she could make a career out of it one day, but Jo had only seen it as a hobby, something she does for fun.

Everything changed in middle school when Jo met Rose Park, who would become her best friend. Rose was from a legacy spy family, and she was everything Jo wasn’t: girly, cool, confident, gorgeous. The change in Jo was slow: ditching her brother ( who was now too old and cool to hang out with her anyway ) , actually caring about the clothes she wore, and developing an interest in boys and popularity -- if only just for Rose. By the time prep school came around, the go-kart building, tomboy was gone altogether, replaced with a “popular” girl who pretended she had the riches her friends did, and was welcomed in only because of her ties to Rose. And despite living a facade, Jo was happy.

It took a few years into their friendship for Jo to realize that she was in love with the other girl, but she'd never get a chance to tell her.

The Tran and Park families grew close with the bond of the girls. So when enemies of the Park began threatening the lives of their daughters, Jo's father offered to help in any way he could. He became one of the spies assigned as Rose's bodyguard. The threat began the beginning of Jo's senior year ; a few weeks into it, she had come down with a serious case of pneumonia. Her father had been on Rose duty that night had to leave his station a few minutes early to take Jo to the hospital. He had informed the next guard he had to leave a little sooner than usual -- mere minutes -- but when the next guard arrived at Rose's room, it had already been too late.

Rose's death changed Jo's entire world, starting with her family. Jo's father had not only lost his job, but became an enemy of the Park family, blacklisting from the rest of the spy world. As a result of this, Jo’s mother left her husband, and Jo's brother Victor made less and less contact with their father, until he stopped calling all together. Jo chose to stick by her father’s side throughout all of this, but carried the blame for Rose's death heavily on her shoulder for several years. It didn't help that all of her old friends also blamed Jo for Rose's death, and she was quickly outcast among them. Senior year could not have ended fast enough.

After graduating high school, Jo took a year off to get a job and help her father out financially. She had been accepted to Gallagher Academy not long after Rose's death, but Jo couldn't imagine leaving her father's side during such a hard time, nor did she feel like she deserved to go to such a prestigious school. Her dad had convinced her to defer her acceptance for a year. She didn't actually expect things to get better enough for her father to leave him after a year, but he had gotten a job as a security guard in a residential building and refused to let her stay home any longer. So she looked at Gallagher Academy as a fresh start for her and her father, building herself a career that would make them both proud.

GALLAGHER ACADEMY.

Despite the fresh start Gallagher provided, going back to school hadn't been a complete walk in the park for Jo, mostly because many ghosts from her past were also at the school. It certainly didn't help that Rose's older sister, Jude Park, enrolled the same year as her, and made it her mission to make Jo miserable. But after her senior year of high school, nothing would break her spirit or her pride. Jo was able to make friends in her classes -- even ones who she'd eventually call her best friends, a title she never thought she'd give to someone else -- and despite the initial struggle her first semester, she worked twice as hard to ace her classes. Jo made a new reputation for herself at Gallagher Academy, and while it may not always be the most positive one, it didn't involve her father or a dead girl.

Jo didn't love the addition of male students to Gallagher her third year, believing that they were a distraction and most of them didn't take the school seriously enough. ( Honestly, except for a few exceptions, she still thinks that. ) But with her third year came some exciting moments as well. She had been chosen for her first off-campus mission with three other students -- one old friend, one new friend, one enemy -- that involved a protest led by Georgetown students at what was once Blackthorne Institute. What was supposed to be a one-day event was turned upside down when bombs went off at the site, killing a few people and leaving Jo with a broken arm. The rest of the Georgetown protestors were brought into witness protection and to Gallagher Academy, believing it to be nothing more than a rich kid's school. And Jo, who had been undercover at the time as a fellow Georgetown student, had to continue her spring semester pretending to be one of them.

Though a major headache for her, Jo found herself growing attached to the Georgetown students. The continued mission throughout the semester was not easy, especially when she had been one of two third years to be assigned to secretly bodyguard the witsec students, after the campus was deemed potentially dangerous ( two dead bodies would do that ) . It had been tough once they learned the truth about Gallagher and how Jo had been deceiving them, but most were fairly quick to forgive, given the circumstances. But her defenses weren't lowered until the threat of the Brotherhood had been eliminated and the witsec students were able to go back home for good. Somehow through all of this, Jo still managed to ace all her classes.

Her third year also brought some resolution for her and the Park family. She was able to slowly rebuild a friendship with an ex-friend of hers, and even Jude Park and her managed to find some common ground, wordlessly calling a truce. The arrival of Rose's ex-boyfriend also brought back a lot of memories of her own feelings for Rose, and after spending years allowing herself nothing more than clandestine hookups with girls and refusing to acknowledge that side of her, she came out to her two best friends. Her sexuality is still something she's trying to navigate, especially how her traditional father who means everything to her would react to it, but with Jo's fourth year ahead of her, she has more important things to worry about.

PERSONALITY.

Jo’s incredibly ambitious, always striving for the best and not allowing herself any less. Though her parents had always been strict with grades and fulfilling her potential, her worst critic has always been herself, even at a young age. Jo knows her worth and knows when she's not reaching it, and will do anything to make sure she gets there -- even if it means ruining her sleep schedule or social life in the process. Right now her goal is to graduate from Gallagher and get herself the best possible job she can, so she can support her father and start a new chapter in her life. Though she loves being at Gallagher, Jo's very self-aware that it's only four years of her life, and nothing gold can stay.

She’s a little rough around the edges socially, a thick layer of sarcasm and disinterest surrounding herself that makes it hard to connect with people. This, of course, is intentional, because after the way her friends turned on her in high school, she doesn't have time for fake friends. Jo's a very private person, even with those closest to her.

Despite always putting herself first, she loves helping out when she can with other people's studies or career paths, so long as they show her that they actually care about what they're doing. There's nothing Jo hates more than laziness, and students who aren't at Gallagher for the right reasons.

MORE INFORMATION / HEADCANONS:

Her career ambitions have always been to pretty much become Shuri from Black Panther, though the witsec mission and staying undercover during her second semester of her third year does have her wondering if she should look into field agent careers as well.

Her only relationship was with some boy her junior year of high school. He was the best friend of Rose's boyfriend, seemed nice enough, and it was easy to get swept up in the excitement of her first relationship, though that giddy feeling didn't last. She only stayed together with him so long because of convenience, and he ended up dumping her once Rose died.

She had kissed Rose once, a few days before her death, though the two had never completely acknowledged it. The unknown reasoning behind it still kills Jo to this day.

Jo is a very healthy eater, thanks to it being drilled in her head by her mom as a kid. Her go to treat on cheat days is ice cream, which her favorite flavor is coffee, though she prefers vanilla to chocolate.

Her mother had sent her a card for her first birthday after leaving the family, which Jo had never opened and thrown it right into the trash. She told her father that if she were to write to her again, to not let her know. Jo hasn't heard from her brother Victor since he texted her to offer her good luck on her first day at Gallagher. It's not hearing from him that stings the most, especially now that he's a Blackthorne graduate and could be dead for all she knows.

Though her father’s always been her favorite, they hadn’t been very close until all they had was each other. He’s the one person Jo would put above herself, which says a lot.

She's left handed.

TL;DR: Jo is a techie wiz who takes everything seriously and struggles with being the best because of a broken family and ex-spy father who she wants to restore her family name for, after he indirectly killed her best friend that Jo was in love with back in high school. She’s pretty grumpy but means well!

CURRENT & WANTED CONNECTIONS HERE

#okay this is long but it's like 80% her original intro #don't look at me #gallagher:intro

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hardeepcox · 4 years

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Working and Sitting Next to an Actual Psychopath

Yes, you read that title correctly. That actually happened.

Once again I will not reveal the name of the company I worked at, only that its name rhymes with Ee Em Gee. So I had been working at this place for about 3 months just having a blast with my bro Huong and my Uncle Corey from the southside of Chicago. And one day we had a new guy in our office, and he sat right behind me. I was doing some work on my computer when I heard two people having a conversation behind me, one American voice and one English voice. The English voice was introducing the American voice to the office and showing him how the schedule worked. I then heard the English voice ask the American voice “so where are you from?” The American voice replies, “I’m originally from Puerto Rico but I grew up in the states.” Instantly I thought, cool! I love Puerto Rican music and now I’ll get to sit next to another minority person or whatever! The English voice left, so now I could say hi to the new guy. I was like, “so you’re Boricua huh?” I knew that Puerto Ricans identify with the native Boricua of the Puerto Rican island, so I was just showing off my history and geography knowledge at this point. We hit it off right away. Even my Irish manager liked him so much he said, “this is gonna be a fun year!” I asked the Puerto Rican guy for his name, but for now let’s just call him Satan. A couple of days go by and all is great.

I think it was on day 3, a girl from another office happens to be sitting in Satan’s seat while she chatted with her boyfriend chilling at the desk directly to the left of Satan’s. Satan stands right in-between them while they are talking and makes a loud sound of clearing his throat. The atmosphere at this point feels a little bit weird. He asks for his seat back in a way that would sound rude, to literally anyone. There are so many ways to say the same thing, but he chose the most uncomfortable passive-aggressive way. I think hmm, this is odd.

Day 4, the same girl is sitting in Satan’s seat as he comes back into the office. The same exact scenario as the day before. This time he goes up to her and says something like, “are you going to be in my seat every day?” I didn’t quite hear her response but eventually she got up and left. Her boyfriend was understandably pissed off. Keep in mind that her boyfriend is tall as fuck and trains in MMA every other day. Let’s call him Skywalker.

Day 5, it’s 8:00am in the morning. I had just sat at my desk. Suddenly. The door opens and Satan is aggressively yelling at Skywalker about something. I’m barely awake so I’m just confused as hell. Satan yells something like, “don’t touch me bro!” Skywalker’s body language is saying something like, what did I do? Our shift had LITERALLY just started and this drama was happening right in our faces, keep in mind that our office had about 45 people. After about the longest 30 seconds ever, the scene is done. Satan goes back to his desk. Keep in mind that his desk directly behind mine, and directly to the right of Skywalker’s. At this point, Satan decides that I am the person that he wants to tell all his drama to. He tells me that he didn’t realize that he was yelling because he had his headphones on. At this point I saw the red flag, this dude has the symptoms of a psycho. Last time I heard someone make an excuse like this was from my drug-dealing Colombian ex-girlfriend who is also a psychopath. Anyways, apparently Skywalker had bumped into Satan and almost made him drop his phone, and this is what had ultimately triggered this scene early in the morning. I figured, this reaction from Satan should be unacceptable in any workplace so I’m sure he’ll be fired soon. I’ll just wait this out. The days go by. Satan has not been fired. The complaints against him have accumulated from other teachers outside of our office. He has been rude to teachers and even to our cab drivers that drive us to the schools where we teach at. Our head manager, let’s call her Pippy Longstocking, has had multiple talks with him one-on-one and she believes every excuse that Satan comes up with. More and more people start to dislike him, and this makes him think that I am his only and best friend in the world. I keep thinking, okay he’ll be fired any time now so I’ll just keep playing it cool. I’ve dealt with a psychopath before so I’ll just be chill and wait this out. No point in adding another complaint against him, plenty of people have already complained so he should be fired soon, right?

Over a month has gone by, and this dude is still working here! A few times, I give him the benefit of the doubt and actually invite him to hang out outside of work. The first time was to sing karaoke with his landlord and my bro Huong. Huong sang the song, I’m in Love with the Coco, and it was tight. I went with one my go-to songs, the Armageddon song by Aerosmith. You know the one I’m referring to. Satan sang some 10 minute long song from the 70’s, oh yeah this dude is apparently like 40 something. Another time, I invited Satan to have lunch at the famous banh mi lady’s place and Satan was extremely rude to her because according to him the food had taken “over an hour”. It had actually been like ten minutes. That was the last time that I ever invited him out.

A month and a half go by, and I try my best to avoid even being in the office. Now, Satan thinks that everyone is plotting against him. He thinks that Huong is angry with him and he is jealous of my friendship with my Uncle Corey. I of course am extremely fucking uncomfortable. I figure that at this point, the company is gonna let him finish his 2 month probation instead of actually firing him. One day. Satan tells me that he has a meeting with HR in the afternoon. I figure, thank you god they are finally going to fire this guy. Later that afternoon he tells me, “HR says I didn’t pass probation!” I try my best to look shocked. I think, oh my god finally. Then he says, “they’re going to let me work for two more weeks.” I think, what in the actual fucking shit is this fucking fuckery. HR is going to actually let him work until the very last second of his probation, when he should have been fired in week 1. And worst of all… now he has nothing to lose. The last week is here. I try to not even be in the office at all, I don’t wanna be there when that ticking time bomb explodes. Apparently, when I was out, another dramatic scene featuring Satan ensued. While Satan was clocking in, our Vietnamese-American co-worker had coughed. Let’s call him Dragon. Satan thought that Dragon had purposefully coughed on him, so Satan then coughs in Dragon’s face. As they go back to their respective desks, I heard that Satan challenged Dragon to a fight and Dragon called him out to brawl outside. Satan didn’t go for it. This dude was all bark and no bite. I think Skywalker called him a fat fuck, and that made me giggle like the demonic possessed girl from the Exorcist after killing Merrin. If we were in America, I think Satan would have been one of those mass-murdering shooters. Luckily, we were in Vietnam and the ‘gun-shops’ here only sell condoms. He wasn’t gonna lube us to death.

Satan had a couple days left before he was officially done working with us, and every afternoon he asked me to have lunch with him, and every afternoon I found an excuse not to. On his last day of work I almost didn’t even go into the office, I could imagine this dude coming into work with a backpack full of anthrax. Fortunately, nothing happened that day. At the end of the workday as he was leaving the office for the last time he said to me, “we have to hang out soon!��

The nightmare was finally over, and Satan’s desk was replaced with my bro Niall’s actually brother, Big Dog. I never saw Satan again, I only heard his voice at a bar once and I got the fuck out of there faster than you can say “perrea papi perrea.” Feel free to Google image that previously quoted expression. Enjoy.

With Satan gone, our little neighborhood of desk buddies could finally enjoy some peace. It consisted of: Skywalker, Big Dog, Mr.Bean, Draco Malfoy, and I. Good times. Eventually corona appeared in the form of a virus instead of beer, and our office has been closed ever since. Once again, fuck you corona.

#psychopath #work #office #corona #skywalker #satan #dragon #pippy longstocking #big dog #mr.bean #draco malfoy

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aikasacolle · 6 years

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Last Week for Mizuchi Kickstarter & Character Re-Intros