#thought I'd add some art too!
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Melded Memories
Just a Valenfield fanfic that has been sitting in my drafts for probably close to a year. I thought I'd share.
There was something cathartic about watching the flames envelop and scorch the pictures. It was slowly becoming easier to let go. He wasn't sure if it was the campfire smoke or the memories that stung at his eyes more, but he knew that either way, he was thankful the darkness of night and the campfire smoke obscured him from everything - like he only existed in this small bubble of light radiating from the logs - that now helped him erase and ease the pang in his heart.
He plucked another photo from the top of the opened box and paused to glance at it, the flames in his periphery trying to lick it out of his hand.
A small smile curled his lip as he gazed at their faces, the picture emanating pride and happiness from a moment in the past. But that's what photographs are - a frozen memory, a momentary clip of time that can never be reclaimed or changed. Only destroyed, so that memory might fade into the folds of obscurity, becoming harder to resurface in your mind the farther in time it travels. Isn't that what he was seeking? Didn't he want to forget it all? So why did he hesitate?
His thumb grazed over the photo, it was a rare relic before Raccoon City's destruction. He just so happened to have it developed before he left for Europe. And he's kept it ever since. But it was time to let go, time to let her go. He allowed himself to steal one final glance, to retreat into those memories just once more. They were both so young and had won the Skeet Shooting Competition as a team, together, just like they had always done. It had been her first time demonstrating all she had learned after their multiple lessons together at the shooting range.
He was initially doubtful if he could really teach her anything, as something like improved marksmanship usually came with practice. But he would have been a fool to turn down the opportunity to spend time with a pretty woman who was interested in something that he was good at. Great at, really. So when she mentioned that she was frustrated with her poor aim, the words just fell out of his mouth to invite her to the shooting range. He half said it because he never thought she would actually listen to his silly suggestion. But she accepted, was even eager and excited, which made him beam like an idiot. Those smiles seemed so mockingly optimistic now.
An intense guilt gnawed at his stomach; regret and deep sadness followed. He was naive to think they could walk away unscathed from this job. And stupid to believe he could protect her from it.
"Jill, stop!"
The awful reality replayed over and over again, like it was stuck on repeat. The pressure of her kick against his chest was fresh in his mind, like he could feel it ripple through him, clattering his insides around.
"I'm not going to hurt you!"
But that didn't mean she would do the same. With her weight against him, pinning him to the ground, and hands firmly clasped against his throat, he locked eyes with her. Eyes that were spilling over with emotion.
It was too much. For a brief moment he wanted to let her win, he wanted her to be able to rid herself of that tormented echo. Let her falling tears stab him like knives so that she didn't have to suffer anymore. But as he looked at her face, her twisted and crying face, he couldn't let this strip away another piece of her. He managed to break her grip, quickly flipped her off of him, and rushed for the door as it slammed shut between them. He could hear her thrashing around on the other side, that echo still driving her into a frenzy.
"I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do, Chris. Jill is not the same after everything she's been through. I - I think it best if you two... didn't see each other anymore."
"Where is Chris? Where is he? Is he okay? I want to see him! Please!"
"Jill, I want you to take some deep breaths. We just have to get the i.v. back in." The nurse tried to calm her with a firm but warm voice.
She saw the thick trail of blood running down the length of her arm, her palm tainted with the red blotchy stain. Her fingers felt sickly wet and uncomfortably sticky. Not again. She looked to the floor and saw the red drops leading to marks on the ground, that were smears of an indicated struggle. Please not again.
Her mind felt like it was on fire, in a daze and thick with a burning smoke. Her head was so heavy she barely had the energy to raise it. Her eyes felt like they wanted to retreat back into her head to try and find relief from the ache all over her body, but there was no relief. More tears fell out of her eyes as the needle pierced her skin.
"I'm not just going to give up on her like that!"
"No one is suggesting that she is a lost cause. Just... just that she needs -- distance. Your presence seems to be a catalyst to her worst symptoms. There has been an obvious pattern. We feel it would be best for the safety of yourself, Jill and all staff, if you refrained from seeing her until we can come to a better solution."
Those words were perhaps what he needed to hear, no matter how difficult. He would do anything to help Jill in whatever way he could. Like travel half way across the globe to fight through countless abominations to find her, with the scars to prove it, just as he had done in Africa. Scars. Just like he had done when pulled that torturous device off her chest. He would do anything, right? Even if it meant... Were the doctors words the truth? Was he the catalyst?
"Chris! Don't --!"
He loved the sound of her laugh.
I can’t--! Don’t say another word!"
He watched as her head went back in amusement. She tightly gripped his arm, which she only did when he said something to really make her lose herself. They always created a symphony of joy together - something that was needed every now and again to balance the stress of what they were doing - much to the annoyance of some co-workers. Their laughs used to even have Wesker threaten to move their desks. They were always a great source of relief for each other.
Could he go back to those long days of not hearing her voice? Or those restless nights with her whisper in the wind? He closed his eyes tight and rubbed them, his grip firmly stopping at the bridge of his nose. At least this time he knows that she is alive. Or is she?
Her pale skin and lackluster eyes tried so hard to show how resilient she was, tried in vain to put up a strong front. But Chris knew. She couldn't hide that from him, despite her best efforts. He could see that what she had endured had worn her down, taken pieces of her that she would never get back. There was a deep ache in his heart. And it burned Chris alive. It burned in his stomach. And it burned the back of his throat when he thought about it long enough. Knowing there was little to nothing he could do to help ease her struggle. Swallowing hard knowing he was the reason for it.
Chris gripped the armrest of the chair, turning his face toward the window, not able to make eye contact with the doctor who was so patiently waiting for a response. The sound of strained wood snapped in his ears.
"For her."
He watched as their faces bubbled and morphed, melting into monstrous tortured expressions, until the flames only left a gaping hole of nothingness. Something he felt was closer to the truth. How cruel fate can be. How much this job had taken from them. They would never be their plucky, rambunctious, adventurous, and wide eyed selves again.
The big crackles of the fire reminded him of the sound of gunfire.
"I can see their faces, Chris."
The phone startled him from his sleep - something he was thankful he finally slipped into. He glanced at the clock, the neon numbers reading back 1:12am. A sigh escaped his throat. 2 hours. He was finally able to sleep for 2 hours. He reached over and picked up the receiver, covering his eyes with his other hand. Was Forest drunk again?
Chris caught himself as he responded with a hello. It couldn't have been Forest. He was lost that awful, awful night. A night that stole the rest of Chris' nights away.
"Are you alright?" He shot up in bed, even he could hear his immense concern.
"Yeah, yeah, of course. I'll be right over." He fumbled to grab an over shirt and his keys, "keep the light on, it helps. I should be there in 10 minutes."
He quickly gave himself a once over in the mirror, attempting to fix the hair that decided to stand at attention in his sleep. He quickly tied up his sneakers and headed out the door.
He practically ran to her apartment, wanting to shorten the, at the time, unbearable separation. What a fool he was to think those 10 minutes felt like the longest he had ever experienced in his life.
"I'm so sorry. I know - I know it's already so late --" She started as soon as she opened her door. Her eyes looked red and puffy, like she had been crying.
As he walked in, every single light was turned on in her small apartment. The bathroom light with the fan whirred in the background, the fluorescent buzzed overhead, and even the TV was turned on but muted.
He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "hey, hey. It's okay. I was already awake."
"I didn't know who else to call..."
Chris' voice was soft, "don't worry. Here, sit down." He pulled one of her kitchen chairs out.
"I - I..." she sighed as she tried to piece herself together, "I just couldn't. I can't anymore. You know what I mean?"
He took the seat next to her, "well, yeah, as soon as you tell me."
That got a smile out of her as she dipped her head down. A hand coming up to her forehead.
"I know, I must sound so jumbled right now, I'm sorry."
He glanced at her shaking hand and reached out to rest his own on her arm,
"it's okay. Take your time."
Jill's big blue eyes shined with gratitude, as if a giant weight was lifted from her shoulders, "thank you. Thank you for coming." Her voice was a little shaky.
He gently squeezed her arm with a smile then looked around, "I see you took my advice. Though the electric bill will kill ya."
"Oh yeah?" she smiled and then sighed with relief, "but you're right. It does help."
"Yeah." He didn't mean for his response to sound so resounding in it's understanding, but maybe that would comfort her more. To know that she wasn't the only one who was afraid of the shadows and the haunting darkness of night.
His eyes weren't fixed on anything in particular but the images in his own mind, "sometimes the rain makes it worse..."
"Yeah..." He could see a chill run up her spine. "I can see their faces, Chris."
"Me too." He scooted his chair over next to hers as he wrapped his arms around her, "I see them, too. You're not alone, Jill." There was a slight break in his voice.
"Don't be upset, Chris."
She had passed out on their weekly run together. She had insisted on going, even though Chris had his doubts that morning. She looked pale, even paler than normal if that were possible. He tried to assure her and persuade her to do their exercises another day, but she could not be deterred. So he tried to adjust his pace, and she was able to maintain that for a while, but he started to notice her breathing becoming really labored, so he suggested going into the park to do some squats. She was barely able to get out her feigned 'I'm fine', before Chris could see what was about to happen. He was thankful he was standing right next to her to catch her fall.
"How long was I out?"
"About half an hour."
Jill somewhat rolled her eyes as she turned her head away with a heavy sigh, the hospital grade pillow under her head made a noise as the crisp linen rubbed against itself. She was clearly struggling with her new limitations and it frustrated her to no end.
"It's getting longer..." she softly added with a sad voice.
"What do you mean?" Chris crossed his arms over his chest while tilting his head to intently listen.
Jill continued to stare up at the ceiling, there was a depression to her voice, "the time. How long I'm out. It's getting longer."
"You've passed out multiple times?" Chris thought he sounded more like a father scolding his rebellious teenager.
She didn't respond. Just continued to presumably stare at nothing, or maybe it was because she didn't want to meet his eye. But her brows were knitted in what looked to be annoyance.
"Jill, why didn't you tell me?" His hands returned to the arms of the chair as he leaned in. He didn't think he did a good job of masking the anger in his voice. It hurt him that she didn't share that with him. And her response was sharp.
"I didn't think it mattered!" She sat up to finally meet his gaze.
"Didn't matter --?"
"I didn't want to be back here! I didn't want to be stuck in a stupid lab like I had been for years!" Her voice was raw, like admitting that broke a piece of her.
Chris fell silent. All words escaped his mind as none would be sufficient enough to ease that truth. He stared at her for a moment before casting his eyes to the floor.
"It should be me laying there. This never should have been placed on you..." His gaze became fuzzy as he continued to look down.
That's all I have - just a hodgepodge of slop. Just a bunch of fanficiton Valenfield love. I had a vague idea of what I wanted to write but then I always get side-tracked and/or forget what my original intention was, haha. Sorry - hopefully you can enjoy this scatterbrained mess!
#this story is hop hop hopping around XD#still love these two#just forever partners supporting each other <3#thought I'd add some art too!#fanfiction
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I redrawn one of the flags from ofmd to get it tattooed on my arm, what do you guys think of it? 👀
#I'd love some input#i think it looks good but art can always be improved lol#I'm so excited to get this tattooed#i was gonna tattoo the skull ed have on his right arm but i thought the design was too simple#so i was like hmmm maybe i should redrawn my fav flag from the show? and i love this one specifically#so yeah#the og design is too simple so i wanted to add more to my tattoo. so it actually looks like two skulls#our flag means death#ofmd#tattoo#drawing#mine*drawing#also pls don't steal#anny.txt
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It's 2024. I have been participating in fandom for 40 years. This is a ramble commemorating some history I've experienced along the way.
In 1984, I attended my first convention, and made a beeline for the one long row of covered tables in the Dealer's Room that was, according to the whispered lore of my friends, 'the one'. "um", I said, very suavely and coherently, except for how it was totally the opposite of those things, "I'm here for the... for the, uh. For-"
"Come around here," the man behind the table said with exhausted ennui, so I went around, and he lifted up the table skirt next to him and pointed to rows and rows of boxes underneath the line of tables. "It's all under here."
It was all under there. Along with about five older ladies with glasses, graying hair, cardigans. Flipping through slash zines and chatting in whispered voices like old friends (which of course they were). I noticed one of them had the good sense to be wearing kneepads. I was still too young and ablebodied to need kneepads when crawling on a carpeted floor, but I immediately found her preparedness skills to be both impressive and hot. "You're new," one of the ladies whispered to me--a bit warily, which made sense. "Are you sure you're in the right place?"
In the faint light (the kneepads lady had also come prepared with a flashlight, additional practicality hotness points for her) I grabbed a comb-bound book with a heavy line art piece on the cover, featuring a musclebound Captain Kirk getting righteously and enthusiastically plowed by a stern-yet-ebullient Spock. "This," I said, pointing helpfully at the cover, like I was trying to make myself understood in a language I had only the vaguest knowledge of. "I'm here for this."
Outside at the convention, most of the attendees were wearing large homemade circular pins that shrieked 'K/S is BS!!!'1. But underneath the table, we reveled in the forbidden.
***
In 1985, I fell very hard for Starsky & Hutch fandom. Which was simply referred to at the time as 'the other fandom', because there were only two. We were upstarts. Many fannish elders predicted that it was just a phase.
***
The 'circulating library' was a massive stack of barely-legible pages that smelled strongly of mimeograph ink. When you were on the list, you would write stories while you waited for your turn, and when the big box was mailed to you, you would read everything (new finds, old favorites), add your own sloppily-typed or hastily-mimeographed stories, and then mail the whole thing to the next person. For me, at the time, it was an extremely expensive indulgence--but my favorite one.
***
By 1990, slash fandom had grown enough that I no longer knew everyone in it, which was both thrilling and a bit daunting. A young woman at a convention waited for me after a panel I was part of (I think it was 'writing impactful smut' or something like that), and said she had a question she didn't want to ask in a group setting. I'd heard that before. I said that's fine, go ahead and ask; and she came out with: "Why do you have to be gay?"
I blinked. "Is... that a problem?"
She looked annoyed. "Yes, because your stories are on all the recommendation lists and in all the top zines, but if you're gay and I read something you wrote and I get hot from it that makes me gay, and I'm not gay."
"Wow." I grinned, I couldn't help it. It probably made me look very predatory-dyke-about-to-score-a-toaster. Whatever, it was enough to make her back away from me fast.
When I thought about it later that night, I wondered what it would be like not to be the only queer person in slash fandom.
***
By 1997, slash started appearing on the internet. Many fannish elders claimed it was the death knell of slash fandom, or dismissed it as 'just a phase'.
***
Anyway, I wrote all this for myself as a commemoration of sorts, but if you took the time to read it--thank you. Love you, fandom. I always will.
1 In those days, m/m fandom was known as 'slash', which grew from the fannish shorthand where 'K&S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock having adventures or tribulations or what have you, and 'K/S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock getting it on (Kirk divided by Spock or Spock into Kirk--it was mathy fannish humor and I was into it then and I still am now). Slash was decidedly unpopular in the fannish world in 1984, and there was a concerted effort to force slash authors, artists, and fans out of 'mainstream' fannish public life. Hence, under the table.
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thought i'd share my thought process for this fun lil piece / outfit in full display that i whipped out for beckory on valentines cuz i really had a lotta fun making it <3
OKAY first off, big thanks to @leaky-heart for helpin me gather some really cool outfit refs and for lending me resources where I can find a ref for bonnie's guitar in a 3d space. Thank you bestie, yar a life saver <3
Second, @/littleleaflings' jacket—goated af, will never stop gushin bout it aaaaAAA <3
Okay so looking at freddy & bonnie's designs—i am in love with how their dominant and accent colors are opposite of each other like a yin and yang situation. So i absolutely tried to incorporate that when rearranging the palette unto beckory's outfit
Fronnie's colors arent the only contrasting elements about them. Aside from their earrings, even their symbols are a pair—i love how freddy's is a lighting bolt but he is also associated with stars on the side cuz of his branding. While bonnie's is a star but he also has lightning bolts on the side (the purple accent in his fit) to match freddy
And to sprinkle a bit of beckory flair, i put stripe lines across their pants (if you look back on my ref sheet for the squad, the three amigos all have stripes somewhere in their fits, i purposely designed that to be their thing) just to also unify the patterns from their top
i gave tony a scarf to match greg's bow tie accessory. Its a combo homage to bonnie's headband and bunny ears in a way (cuz the ribbons on its ends look like droopy rabbit ears) i gave them gloves to compensate being unable to add punk bracelets on em cuz it would be too much for the overall look (same logic applies to the star shades, its to match with the top hat)
Also this was such a pure coincidence but i also realized beckory wears their fazwatches in the same placement as fronnie wears their earrings on. That actually makes me very happy, i think its a really cool coincidence
And as yall can see, Greg's jacket initially had stars on his sleeves (like it does in the ref), but i decided against putting it in the final cuz im startin to think it might look cluttered and hard to read from afar and tbh, I really liked how the translucent sleeves turned out... I didnt want the star pattern to cover it up lol
And thats pretty much it, thank you coming to my ted talk!! <3
if youre interested to see more of my art process compilation like this you can check over on my ko-fi page, you can support me by buying me a latte cuz I am planning to post more exclusive stuff like this over there in the future so I hope yall look forward to that! I deeply appreciate yall and thank you so much in advance!!
#daske art#fnaf#beckory#gregtony#GTY46#fnaf gregory#tony becker#five nights at freddy's#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach#fnaf GGY#five nights at freddy's security breach#detective rabbit#fnaf tales from the pizzaplex#five nights at freddy's tales from the pizzaplex
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—Lips Over Your Nightmares
Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem!Reader/OFC
Summary: You've been having trouble sleeping. Nightmares haunt you every time you close your eyes, and Wednesday offers a solution in the form of comfort only she is capable of.
Warnings: Soft!Wednesday. Possessive!Wednesday. Intimate. Wednesday ran out of patience. Emotionally charged confessions. Kissing. Lots and lots of kissing.
Masterlist | Library Blog | AO3
Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘
Note: I said wednesday is soft for her girl and I will take no arguments about it. The act of kissing in this fic is peak wlw. I'm sleeping on the highway tonight and taking you all with me.
Count: 2.6k
Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.
⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷
Nighttime could be hellish.
It was probably why Wednesday adored it so much.
You loved it too. There was something divine about the nighttime. People feared the dark, but you saw it as an opportunity to rest your weary eyes and bones. The night gave way to being invisible, and there were some days when that was all you could bear to be.
But to Wednesday Addams, who loved the dark, you could never be invisible to her.
It was a blessing and a curse.
To be seen by Wednesday—it was something more than many people could ever hope for.
But to be seen when you wanted to be invisible? It was like being dragged without anything to hold onto.
Nighttime was hellish, and you wanted to disappear into the dark as your nightmares plagued you until you couldn't even tell what was the dream and what was the reality.
But Wednesday Addams saw you.
⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷
You've missed Enid's late-night studying session again. It's the second week in a row that Enid's gotten a text from you two minutes before the session started.
"I guess we can start," Enid told the group with a disappointed smile. "She's not coming today either."
"Fuck," Xavier sighed. "She's the only one who's good at art restoration. I was hoping she'd help me with my assignment."
Wednesday's face scrunched together mildly, and Xavier rolled his eyes. "Except for you, Wednesday. But you hate teaching me and I hate learning from you."
"I can't help it if you're stupid," Wednesday dully replied.
"Not all of us can do it perfectly after being told what to do—told only once might I add," Xavier raised his brow at her.
Wednesday shrugged, which only seemed to irk Xavier more and to prevent them from bickering further, Yoko turned to Enid and asked, "Why isn't she coming?"
Enid shrugged, her lips quirked to the side as they pressed together. "She texted to say she wasn't feeling well and couldn't make it."
"She does seem tired lately," Bianca commented, her expression in deep thought as she recalled the last two weeks when she saw you. "Also, really quiet. Well, quieter than she normally is."
There were murmurs of agreement around while Wednesday sat silently. Of course, she also noticed, but she was waiting for you to say something to her. You always told her whatever was plaguing you, even when Wednesday told you she didn't ask. Wednesday was used to hearing your mundane thoughts or solving your problems.
But there was nothing this time, and Wednesday couldn't figure it out. She tried to think back to see if anything had changed—if something had happened, but there was nothing.
Two weeks of leaving you be was enough, though, Wednesday decided as she packed her things into her bag.
"What! Wednesday, are you leaving too?" Enid groaned. "But I need help with botanical sciences!"
"Ask Bianca," Wednesday didn't even look up.
Enid looked at the siren, who had a deceitful, happy smile.
"I'd be happy to help you, Sinclair. Let's talk The Poe Cup negotiations first."
"Absolutely not!" Enid scoffed before turning back to Wednesday with pleading eyes. "Wednesday..." she whined.
"Ask Xavier," Wednesday didn't budge.
"But all he does is draw in class. There's no way he's doing well."
"I'll have you know I'm getting a C," Xavier looked affronted.
Enid merely stared at the sullen boy for a long moment before she turned back to Wednesday. "I'll just wait for you tomorrow after school."
Xavier was about to say something else when Wednesday briskly nodded, standing up and leaving the group behind without another word.
⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷
It was completely silent on the other side of your door, and from its looks, it was dark as no lights were shining underneath it.
Wednesday knocked in three successions.
There was no answer.
If it were anyone else, they would've believed you weren't there and left, but not Wednesday.
No, she knew you far too well.
This was a place where you could truly be invisible with no roommate.
Wednesday knocked insistently until she heard shuffling, an agitated huff, and footsteps approaching the door.
The door only opened marginally. You looked mildly surprised to see her, but Wednesday supposed you had too little energy to manage anything more.
There were dark circles under your eyes, and they looked puffy and slightly red around the edges from lack of sleep. Your skin was pallor, which suited someone like Wednesday, but she decided it was not on you. Your hair lacked its usual shine, and Wednesday's eyes narrowed as she finished scrutinizing you.
"What are you doing here?" You asked quietly.
"Are you going to just let me stand out here?"
"I'm not in the mood for company, Wednesday," you blinked slowly.
It was new.
You were usually happy for Wednesday's company whenever she stopped by, and you often visited her dorm.
"I have had enough of this," Wednesday glared at you through the gap in the door. "You will let me in."
"And if I don't?" You challenged back, and Wednesday almost wanted to applaud the snippy attitude you've mustered through the tiredness.
"Then I will wait out here and ensure you don't get a. Single. Wink. Of. Sleep." It was a threat that tugged at your nerves. You looked at Wednesday, and for a brief moment, she thought she won before you shut the door in her face.
Disbelief clouded over Wednesday's eyes.
Then, Wednesday began to knock incessantly over and over on your door. Her knuckles knock with a vengeance, and she'll be damned if you think she doesn't take absolute joy in torturing you.
It worked because you open the door wider this time, as you stare at Wednesday with a glare.
"What part of 'I'm not in the mood for company' was unclear, Wednesday?" Your voice was gruff, and Wednesday could tell that you were still trying to not snap at her despite how tired you were.
And that in itself was everything. It was like that all the time.
You were always trying to be considerate of whatever feelings you thought Wednesday might have while gently pushing her to admit which ones she was truly feeling.
Maybe that was why Wednesday could never leave you alone now.
You were a gateway to things Wednesday never wanted, and she genuinely thought you should pay for making her desire things she swore she'd never want.
"Say you don't want my company then," Wednesday said haughtily.
Wednesday knew you wouldn't—couldn't, even. You never would.
Just as you were her exception, she was yours.
You pursed your lip at her, starting to close the door swiftly, and Wednesday stuck her foot partially into your room, preventing you from shutting the door in her face again.
"Wednesday!" You called her name, concerned you might've hurt her when the door hit her foot, but the macabre girl used the opportunity to press her palm flat against your door and pushed it wide open.
She took a step forward menacingly, forcing you to take a step back. She took another step, and you took another one back. When she was inside your room fully, she used the back of her heel to shut your door.
The resounding click of it made you swallow.
"Wednesday," you clenched your jaw, fighting against something you weren't even really sure why. But you were terrified—of her, you don't think, but rather what she was capable of doing to your heart.
"I have been patient," Wednesday's voice is quiet, but her tone is sharp, expressing every bit of her lost tolerance. "I have waited for you silently."
Wednesday kept walking towards you, backing you up until your back bumped into your desk. She looked positively irritated. "I have even refrained from saying a single unkind thing despite them running through my mind at the sight of you moping at whatever has been keeping you up at night."
"How did you know—"
"Do you take me for an idiot?" Wednesday's eyes flashed dangerously at your insinuation. You shook your head.
"Then you must take me for a fool with endless patience," Wednesday glared at you. "I don't take kindly to the kind of games you're playing."
"I'm not playing anything—"
Wednesday cut you off again. "Then explain concisely what has been keeping you up and why you've been keeping it to yourself."
Silence filled the room as you didn't speak, but Wednesday had already waited this long. She could wait a little more.
Wednesday watched how you gripped the edge of your desk, your finger tapping underneath in rapid succession before you closed your arms over her chest.
The stance was defensive, but you looked more reluctant than wary.
"I'm having nightmares about you."
The admittance stunned Wednesday, and she didn't know how to take it. Initially, it felt like a compliment because nightmares were so fascinating and exhilarating to experience, and Wednesday hoped to have nightmares every night she slept based on that logic.
But you were not her.
Nightmares, illogically, were typically not desirable.
"Wednesday, I—" You swallowed. "I have feelings for you. You're the best and worst part of my days because I actually feel clinically insane everytime I see you, spend time with you and then have to face the fact that you're not mine and I'm not yours."
Wednesday's jaw clenched, and it was noticeable. She wanted to open her mouth and demand how you could feel the exact same way she did, but she kept her mouth shut, waiting for you to continue on.
"And I have nightmares about losing you," you confessed. "I have nightmares about losing you to Tyler or another deranged supernatural being. I have nightmares about losing you to Xavier or Enid or somebody like Tyler, minus the whole mass genocide. I have nightmares about losing you in every single imaginable way, only to wake up and realize you're not mine, and you can't lose what you don't have."
"I can't tell if the nightmare is when I'm asleep or when I'm awake." You put your hands to your face, laughing hollowly. Tears well up in the back of your eyes, burning as they were so dry from lack of sleep. "I think I'm going crazy."
Wednesday wanted to tell you that going crazy was supposed to be wonderful. But she, herself, has been experiencing the whirlwind of elation and torment you put her through and believed that going crazy wasn't as wonderful as she thought.
But Wednesday decided then and there that there was no way up from crazy. And while it's unfortunate that she's not the brand of crazy like Uncle Fester, she's been driven mad nonetheless. It's the only thing that could explain all of this and everything that's about to come.
Wednesday grabbed your wrist, moving your hand away from her face. No visions plague her, and all she knows is that this meant her decision wouldn't end in misfortune and it wouldn't drive her down a lonely path.
"Enid's not expecting me back tonight," Wednesday told you as she dragged you over to your bed. Her succinct tone leaves no room for you to ask any questions.
"Um, okay?" You said anyway, thrown off by her response and feeling exhaustion saw at your bones, dragging the invisible knife back and forth.
Wednesday guided you to get into bed, and you complied. Resignation settled over you as you rested your head on your pillow. It was cold again with you being away from it, but it brought no comfort.
You lay facing the wall, about to pull the blanket up to your chin, when you heard something drop against the floor. You turned your head and saw that Wednesday had set her backpack down, and now she was zipping off her sweater, hanging it on the pole of your bed frame, leaving her in her black long-sleeve.
Wednesday took her shoes off before using every bit of her vulnerability to steadily and carefully climb into bed with you. It was dark, with only a little light from the moonlight shining just barely into the room, and you could make out the barest hint of her features and knew she was staring intently at you, trying to ascertain if this was a boundary both of you could bear to cross.
Her touch was slow and hesitant, revealing this was something she's never done before, but the moment you were in her arms, you clicked into place like a puzzle piece.
Wednesday was cool against your body, but she was warming from your touch and shared heat trapped under the blanket. She smelt like rain and dry leaves, and you felt like you were going insane. You buried your face into her neck.
Wednesday wrapped her arms around you, holding you close, allowing the things she's been desiring for a while to come to fruition. She couldn't tell if this was making her saner or driving her closer to insanity.
It was deliriously pleasant.
"Who said you're not mine?" Wednesday muttered into the shell of your ear.
It's suddenly not enough, and Wednesday now knew the answer was that it was driving her closer to insanity.
Wednesday pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes that were so tired just moments ago. The dark circles remained, but you were wide awake, speckles of oblivion in your eyes.
Despite how everything else changed as you became sleep deprived, your lips still remained full and soft.
Wednesday moved to close the gap, sighing softly as her lips slanted against yours.
How could she feel like jagged glass, splintered and sharp, while you felt so soft, practically melting around her serrated edges?
Wednesday only pulled back marginally, cupping your jaw and the back of your neck. "Who told you that you don't already have me? I want names."
You couldn't even think straight with how her breath felt on your lips. You pushed forward again, pressing your lips against Wednesday's insistently.
Was it possible for reality to be better than a dream?
Your lips slotted over Wednesday's over and over and over. Wednesday tugged at your bottom lip, smoothing over it with her tongue before it dipped at the edge of your mouth where your tongue met hers.
It was dizzying, something that frequently happened to Wednesday when it was too warm. She usually hated the sensation of it, but, of course, as many things were exceptions when it came to you, this was one of them too.
"Your nightmares are inane."
You couldn't help but laugh against Wednesday's lip.
"I think I am actually insane," you grinned, and you saw a ghost of something similar on Wednesday's lips.
"Sleep," Wednesday ordered you, kissing you chastely initially but ending up biting your bottom lip tenderly. Her hands pull you closer, her lips resting on your forehead. "I'm here, so nothing will plague you."
The softness of Wednesday is unimaginable, and you're nearly skeptical.
"But—"
"No." Wednesday countered bluntly. "I'm telling you that I'm here and yours. You may come to regret it, knowing how...difficult I am. But you're stuck with me. Congratulations," Wednesday tilts her head slightly, brushing against yours, "or condolences."
But you could hear Wednesday's heartbeat, and it was dark, and you were so tired, but you were close enough to hear Wednesday's heartbeat.
Your lips tingle from Wednesday's kisses. You felt your eyelids grow heavy along with your body, and the way Wednesday shifted told you she was satisfied.
Nighttime could be hellish, but Wednesday Addams saw you—she always would. And all she had to do was put her lips over your nightmares.
#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday x reader#wednesday addams imagine#wednesday addams x ofc#wednesday x ofc#wednesday addams#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega imagine#mm: my fics
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some thoughts on imagination and fulfilling ALL your desires, no matter how small ♡
hiii! just wanted to share with you guys some things ive been thinking about lately and a new discovery!
so first of all! i went through a little phase this previous weekend where i could not imagine for the life of me. i just could not concentrate, and i kept hyperfixating on every little sound in my room and it was very frustrating. i also could not fall asleep because i usually use daydreams to lull myself to sleep and i couldn't daydream! it was very frustrating.
(side note--at one point i wished that my room would just be silent and then i lost power for a few hours and my room WAS dead silent for a while, lol)
but then i was scrolling thru loatwt, like i do, and i found this acct @/scriptercas and they made a couple of posts about the way they imagine (i like this one too) and i tried it that night and i was DEEP in my imagination for like an hour straight. like me??? adhd aphantasia me???
i know that a lot of you guys are like me and have aphantasia and therefore can't see mental images and you can get discouraged by imagining, but this is definitely my new holy grail and i think this will work so well for you guys too!
(p.s. if you guys are into shifting, that account has some great advice! i'd really recommend!!)
i also recently re-read edward art's series, which i have mentioned in recent posts. once again, i know ive also said this recently, but i highly highly highly recommend reading it (or listening, there's also an audio form) if you haven't already! even if you just read the first five parts. i swear if you are still struggling to fully grasp the law, after you read it you will get it. it's so good.
i bring this up because in a lot of the parts, edward talks about building the habit of fulfilling every single desire--no matter how small--that you have, as it comes to you. and i've just been ruminating on this so much lately.
i remember at the beginning of my loa journey, there would be things that i wanted and i'd kinda mourn the fact that i didnt have them... when i didn't have to. i could've just fulfilled myself. but instead i had the idea in my head that "i'll manifest my sp first, and THEN i can get my desire of receiving flowers." or, "i'll manifest money first, and THEN i can buy the expensive things i want" or "i'll manifest my new apartment, and THEN i can host dinner parties for my friends" etc.
but what i've been thinking about lately--prompted by edward--is that you dont have to want for anything anymore. i can give myself any and everything i want in my imagination. i don't have to wait to manifest something else first.
this has really bolstered my imagination game as well. everything you want to do with or experience once you have your desire, you can have/experience in your imagination right now. and it really adds to your imaginings. it really helps immerse you more and helps you capture the feeling of it being real.
for example, when i was manifesting my apartment, i had sooo many things i wanted to experience once i'd manifested it. i wanted to have my friends over for game night and cook them dinner and make them cocktails. i wanted to bake in my spacious kitchen and have fancy utensils and expensive ingredients. i wanted to shower in my fancy shower and use expensive bath products. i wanted my own vanity stocked with expensive makeup and perfumes. i wanted a large walk in closet with rows and rows of gorgeous clothing. i wanted to come back from a night out and leave my clothes strewn about the bathroom bc i was too drunk to put them away, and no one was gonna see them or yell at me for leaving them there. like some of the things i desired for were so mundane, yet i felt the absence of them in my life every day. for example: living close to a target, being able to make adventurous meals without worrying if my family members would like them, playing video games with my friends in my own living room.
everything i just listed were things i wanted so badly once i had my apartment, but whenever id run into the opposite in my every day life, i wouldn't fulfill myself at first. like i'd go to cook the same old dinner i cooked for my family every other night and i'd be like "ugh i wish i could be in my own apartment where i did the grocery shopping and i could buy fresh ingredients and make an elaborate meal instead of just having pasta and jarred sauce again." but then i realized that if i were in my dream apartment i would be able to do that. i spent so much time imagining waking up in my new apartment and what it would look like, but in the end, imagining stuff like this is what really helped me to fulfill myself and catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled.
i was really reminded of that whenever i re-read edward's series, and now im applying it to my new desires as well. it's so funny that no matter how much i manifest or how much i learn i always find myself forgetting little tidbits like that that really help me and are very valuable.
anyway i just wanted to make this post to help you guys a little maybe! i was just in the shower and i was remembering edward saying to fulfill every little desire you have--not matter how small-- and i was remembering the days i used to imagine myself in my current shower, and id close my eyes and imagine the scent of the shampoo i wanted to get and i'd feel where every individual bath product would be placed once i had my own shower. and all that inspired me to write this!
i hope that this helps you guys out and/or gives you imagination motivation! i feel like it's important to imagine all the small things that pertain to your desire that maybe you overlook while imagining, but that you know you deeply yearn for even if u think they're mundane or that you'll just get them once you get your big, overarching desire <3
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something I don't see talked about a lot in objectum spaces but people have agreed with me when I've brought it up is how difficult it is to draw objects in a way that feels true to its beauty and essence. At least without doing a 1:1 replication of an image. But I don't like doing art that way. My objectum artwork is a constant battle between trying to make art that's creative and enjoyable to me while keeping the same energy of the object I'm portraying in the piece.
I've gotten some (mean) criticism in the past for putting my anthropomorphic object drawings in the objectum tag but that's just the easiest way I can convey how an object makes me feel in artwork. It's hard to portray how much an object feels like its bursting with life and personality to me by just drawing the object as it is, as gorgeous as I might find the object in particular. Not because I don't find objects beautiful on their own I just really want to really show how the object makes me feel in the art I make. I consider myself a cartoonist first and foremost.
I will admit though, sometimes adding too much character to an object can make it lose its "objectness" and when it comes to a sexuality surronding objects that's, kinda important... For example a plane looks quite a lot different once you add a face to it:
(and I'd be lying if I said I didn't find the regular plane 100x more appealing than the disney one, despite there being relatively minimal changes)
At the same time though, I could happily draw regular planes, computers, cars and whatever all day with zero added features. I love them after all. But me and a lot of other people can really connect to an object seeing it portrayed more anthropomorphised. I've had a lot of people come to me saying that specific brand of my objectum art introduced them to object sexuality because it showed objects in a different light than say, a still life could to an uninformed observer.
Either way that being said, I put a lot of thought into making my object art appealing to objectum people as an objectum person myself, it's not going to be to everyone's taste because I'm not them. But I hope one day I can really find that perfect balance for myself of object and anthropomorhisation that doesn't take away from the regular object itself.
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Let's Play: What's Wrong with this Sculpture?
Following in the theme of sharing astonishing moments of ancient sculpture pedantry here on Tumblr, based on my brief undergraduate stint as a T.A of ancient art history, I thought I'd share one of my other proudest moments of being an absolutely insufferable know-it-all about ancient sculptures.
In the process, I hope I can also share some of the sort of largely useless (from a practical perspective) information that Tumblr tends to glory in, so buckle up buttercups.
This question was posed to me on a walking tour of the Capitoline Museum in my ancient art history class while I was living abroad. Our professor, a delightfully curmudgeonly Belgian, stopped in front and asked us to figure out why this sculpture is just plain wrong.
I intend to walk you through the process of how I got the right answer and, after gaining my teacher's rare approval, glowed with enough serotonin to power a small nuclear reactor.
So, let's return to the original question: what is wrong with this sculpture?
Because if you are truly eagle-eyed you should be able to spot what very famous sculpture this actually is, before an overly imaginative Frenchman brought it back wrong.
Hint #1: It was incorrectly restored.
Look closely at the the difference of the patina, or color of the stone. It's a bit hard to tell in this photo, but the head was added later. It's a paler white than the core of the torso, which is what we have of the original sculpture.
Hint #2: It was incorrectly restored in the 18th century by a Frenchman (Pierre-Étienne Monnot) who made some, shall we say, creative interpretations of what's going on here.
You can tell it's by an 18th c. Frenchman because the facial features are so delicate. Ancient statues tend to have less narrow and delicate chins and noses. In general, that is a dead giveaway when something is 18th century French vs. Ancient Greek or Roman.
Here's a good example. The first sculpture is 18th c. French, the second is the famous Venus de Milo. Note her blockier chin and less delicate features. So in the future, you can tell these sort of later additions to Greek or Roman sculptures if they added a new head because 17-19th century sculptors in Europe had tools (like finer drill tips) and tastes (beauty standards that favored more delicate men and women) that led to a pronounced difference in the faces.
Hint #3: Check out the anatomy of his lower shoulder. That's another addition, that arm should not be coming straight out of a torso where the muscle, if you look closely, is turned inward.
Seriously, that looks painful.
Hint #4: The sword he's holding up is just total nonsense for the Roman era. I mean, the restoration makes no secret of the fact that this sword is a later addition, but it's also just an absolute nonsense sword with its silly little curved cross guard. This Frenchman literally just made it up.
Here's an ancient sculpture with a sword in it that actually looks right:
From the Ludovisi Gaul, a famous Hellenistic Baroque work of Greek sculpture. Note the much blockier sword though I will admit, it could be a later addition, I don't know for 100% certain, but I'm pretty sure it's the original. Regardless, it fits the sculpture much better and let me add that sword I'm criticizing is completely made up for the sculpture we're talking about and is not there in the original sculpture that was incorrectly restored.
Ok, so those are all the hints.
Look closely at the body of the first sculpture. Cut away the arms that are not connected to the body correctly, the sword that shouldn't be there, the face that was far too delicate. When you separate those later additions out, can you tell me what sculpture that actually is?
Because here is the reveal!
The Discus Thrower, aka, the Discobolus by Myron.
The French restorationist got carried away by his own imagination, saw a twisted torso and thought it could only possibly be a warrior in the midst of twisting around to fend off a blow, not an athlete in the midst of a demonstration of skill. It's a martial, fanciful read that completely misinterpreted the subject.
This is why most restoration today employs a much lighter touch, rather than trying to reattach pieces incorrectly, they tend to just outline where the missing pieces are with a light sketch of an educated guess of what might have actually been there. Faulty restorations like the Capitoline Discobolus is one reason for this modern stylistic principle when it comes to restoration work.
When my professor asked us to identify the correct original sculpture that day on the museum tour, it was the sword that pinged me as wrong first, but zeroing in on the core of the sculpture, the torso, is what revealed the true statue underneath.
This notoriously difficult to please professor was very proud when I blurted out, "It's the Discus Thrower!" and the high-octane serotonin I got from his approval probably could have propelled me into the sun that day, and brought to you Yet Another Moment of Ancient Sculpture Pedantry.
#ancient history#ancient rome#art history#discobolus#there are very few things I'll brag about but naming this sculpture correctly is one of them#in part because there was so little to be gained lol oh well might as well make a tumblr post about it
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We’ll Invite Something In by @smc-27 (book-verse)
@dot524: This is a fandom favorite and for good reason. In this canon divergence AU, Alex is President, Henry is out, and they never got together in their 20s. Instead, they encounter each other in their late 30s and a very different type of relationship ensues. They still hide it at first, but there’s a lot of living that they both have done and need to work through. I really enjoyed the character dynamics here and how the premise changed both Alex and Henry, making them bolder and more mature. Definitely read this one!
Eyes Blue, Like the Atlantic by bleedingballroomfloor (book-verse)
@dot524: A Titanic AU! Adapted by an excellent writer, this one has suspense, action, romance, and intrigue. There is a MCD (Main Character Death) in here and some other tags to be aware of, but also vibrant scenes with dancing, chasing, art, and formal wear. I really enjoyed it!
Clean Slate by @smc-27 (book-verse)
@heysweetheart-writes: This was just so excellent. I devoured it in no time, couldn't put it down. I love the way Alex just slips into Henry's life like a silk glove even though Henry has his hesitations. There's abslutely no angst at all other than "you're too young for me" "no, next question" I love it. I love Henry finally feeling young for the first time. I think that is something that Henry generally feels after meeting Alex, like he's never been able to, no matter at what point in life he is. ANYWAY I'm talking about Henry way too much again for a rec. Read this.
Most People Exist by @sprigsofviolets (book-verse)
@na-dineee: Henry, 30, is a nurse on a cancer ward. From the very first moment he feels an intense connection and attraction to his newest patient, the one who has a brain tumor and is named Alexander Claremont-Diaz. - The tags say it all: "Falling in love, Slow Burn, Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort". After reading this story I am a whole new person. I laughed and cried, had butterflies in my stomach, I felt it all. Hands down one of the best fics I've ever read!
after hours by @dumbpeachjuice (book-verse)
@na-dineee: How much can happen in a few hours? stutteringpeach: Hold my beer. 😅🤝 Reading this was truly a roller coaster ride, my stomach was doing somersaults non-stop: On his last evening in New York, poet Henry meets bartender Alex and the two spend the night together - in true "Before Sunrise" style. To sum it all up: enchanting, sweet, phenomenal, iconic!
No. 1 (Royal Red and Blue) Oil on Canvas by @captainjunglegym (book-verse)
@zwiazdziarka: This fic is so twisted and surprising in the best way! The summary did not prepare me for all the action that comes after the initial relationship drama and I'd really like to fawn over it some more but I don't want to spoil the fun of figuring out what really is going on and what are characters' motivations. Just give it a try.
Meet the Parents (series) by @14carrotghoul (book-verse)
@dot524: I really enjoyed these thoughtful character studies of Ellen and Oscar. The two short stories are a series of canon vignettes from Oscar and Ellen’s POV. These glimpses of the Claremont-Diaz parents add heart and depth to the RWRB canon, giving insight about how Ellen and Oscar think about parenthood, power, family, and each other.
Leave The World Better Than You Found It: A BONES AU by @treluna4 (book/movie-verse)
@myheartalivewrites: I really enjoyed this FirstPrince meets procedural TV show fic! With Alex as Booth and Henry as Brennan, they learn to work together, solve crimes--and fall in love, of course. Plus take down a very satisfying book villain.
No Laughing Matter by @inexplicablymine (book-verse)
@suseagull04: This fic is absolutely hysterical- a must read if you need something to cheer you up! It's also very relatable for anyone who, like me, has said things they've regretted in all the best ways!
in summer air by @acdsbff (book-verse)
@na-dineee: I need a vacation and vitamin D - maybe that's why this series (both POVs are covered 🥰) captivated me so much?! It is set on a Greek island, where Alex, just cheated on by his boyfriend, meets hotel owner Henry. What follows is a whirlwind speedrun romance against a beautiful backdrop. Really therapeutic for the heart on dreary days!!
here is a map (with your name as a capital) by @alasse9 (book-verse)
@dot524: What an incredible surprise to have this entire 50k story drop at once. In this canon divergent story, Alex and Henry start getting to know each other in Rio, when Alex helps him recover from a panic attack. Their friendship, and later their relationship, is a delightful slow burn with funny moments, heartbreak, and steady support of each other. I thoroughly enjoyed this start to finish — the characterization of both Alex and Henry is on point and I really enjoyed how the writer changed some of the scenes from the book while keeping key callbacks. A delight.
Claremont 2008 by @happiness-of-the-pursuit (book-verse)
@suseagull04: This friends to lovers AU is done so well! Having Henry and Alex meet as kids means we get years of their friendship before they even start dating, and it gives every aspect of their relationship so much depth through this entire fic. It also gives some events only referenced in the novel a completely different perspective, which makes them even better!
keep me in the moment (don't it feel so real?) by @anincompletelist (book-verse)
@heysweetheart-writes: I absolutely love everything that comes out of Sarah's magic little fingers and this was no exception. Alex and Henry are best friends and pinning over eache other unknowingly and an accidental lil discovery turns their relationship upside-down (for the better) absolutely recommended. I honestly loved it so much.
you know i can't be found with you by @dumbpeachjuice (book-verse)
@heysweetheart-writes: This was SO much fun. Alex was RELENTLESS and I absolutely love an older Henry. It was also very fucking funny. 10/10
the great duck fiasco by @alexclaremont-diaz (book-verse)
@suseagull04: A spy AU, dating apps, and Alex's Texas roots combine in the funniest way possible- definitely read this if you want a good laugh!
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Hey I saw your fainting request and thought it looked great....I have a request of my own...
Can...you do wally x reader who is autistic? Like gets distracted and/or hyperfixated on things easily, does stims like arm flapping as an example, and other stuff?
Just love wally from welcome home ever since I randomly stumbled upon welcome home! I wish they would 'find tapes of the show' so we could legit watch the episodes and stuff! Imagine the glitches and tibits they could add in! Oh I'd love it! And I adore the puppets and this adorable horror so much!
oh hell yeah, this is the ask i was waiting for!!! 🔥🔥🔥
of course i can fill out this prompt for you darling - i'm autistic myself, and it's my headcanon that every single member of the Welcome Home cast is some shade of neurodivergent 🥰💖 the lovely official arm-flapping art of both Julie and Frank is all the evidence i need!! plus, Wally sleeping on a cake...i'm choosing to believe he's a big fan of that kind of texture 😂💖 speaking of!...
Wally Darling x Autistic Reader headcanons
⭐ when you first tell Wally you're autistic, he doesn't quite grasp the concept. he nods when you give the clinical definition, but it's clear he doesn't understand why you're making the distinction. however, when you first describe your special interests, Wally's eyes light up! he grabs a pencil and his sketchbook, and quickly scrawls a crude picture of your mutual neighbour Frank, along with a host of pretty butterflies. then, right by his side Wally doodles himself, surrounded by floating apples. "It's good to be excited by things," says Wally, with all the sage wisdom of a tenured professor. ever distracted, he flips to a new page and carefully (his tongue sticks out during the process!) renders you in pencil. then, he fills in the blank space with pretty, stylised doodles of all your most beloved interests - even the obscure ones which are not easily communicated in picture form 💖 from that moment on, you know you and Wally are kindred spirits.
⭐ stimming is something Wally does regularly, and he loves it when you stim too!! Wally's most prominent stim is singing - he's constantly humming a tune or thoughtlessly mumbling lyrics to himself, sometimes from known songs, and sometimes from original compositions. Wally is also prone to pacing and threading his fingers together when he's nervous or stressed: a rare occurrence, as his outward persona is typically bright and relaxed. however, Wally never wants his pals to feel left out: if his friends are stimming, he'll quite happily mirror the movements!! Julie adores it when Wally flaps along with her, and although Frank will never admit it, he appreciates when Wally sits on the floor and rocks with him. whichever stims you prefer, he's always delighted to be a part of what helps you navigate the world and make your body and brain feel better 🥰
⭐ Wally loves to give you deep-pressure hugs. your new neighbourhood is a kind and accepting place, but even you can become overwhelmed by its sweet, rainbow brightness. you don't know why, but one particularly hypersensitive day, you begin to approach a meltdown and have nowhere to escape. without a word, Wally slips his soft, fuzzy arms around your waist and pulls you into his chest, face-first. his strength is astonishing, and although you have an initial moment of panic, all that tension and terror starts to slip away as you inhale his unique fruit-felt scent. Wally hums to you as he holds you - and keeps you in his arms until you feel relaxed enough to slip out of your own accord 🥺
i hope this is what you were looking for, anon :3c i know we all have our unique experiences as autistic people, but i hope this was broad enough and relevant to you. have a great day 😊💖
#wally darling#wally darling x reader#welcome home#welcome home arg#starleskasks#starleskawrites#wally darling x you
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A Tumblr Quick Start Guide
A year ago, I realized that every time I logged onto Twitter, I felt my blood pressure rise. It's a platform that runs on anger and outrage, and I wanted someplace better to spend my screen time. In my almost-year on Tumblr, I now realize I log on here and get one or two good laughs every time I check my dashboard.
Tumblr has given me a lot lately, but it is a bit different than other platforms. I'd like to give back a little and provide a quick-start guide on how being new to Tumblr worked for me.
Finding Things to Follow
The biggest thing I had to get used to was realizing that on Tumblr, you don't necessarily follow people or celebrities or politicians. You follow your interests. In fact, it's pretty common to follow only strangers that post things you like. That can make your empty dash daunting to fill! Let's fill it with things you love and make you happy.
Make a list, mental or otherwise, of things you're interested in. Be both broad and specific! Board Games. Magic The Gathering. Supernatural. Marvel. Video Games. 8-Bit. Urban planning. Any and all things that you like!
Pick one of your interests and search for that tag. Flip between "Latest" and "Top" and browse around to see what kind of content is in that tag. You'll notice images, art, gif sets, TikToks, videos, essays - all sorts of things!
If you see a lot of things you like, cool! Click the button to Follow that tag if you want to keep up to date on it and find things later (we'll come back to this).
If you see a post you love, check out who posted or reblogged it. Scroll around on their blog. Do they post similar stuff? Are there other things you like here? Are they posting often? If you like what they post, follow the blog! Congrats, you've followed your first blog!
Take some time and check out some other tags and follow the same process - follow tags you like and blogs you might be interested in. It's not possible to over-follow! You can always curate your list later. This isn't Twitter - no one cares if you unfollow someone. Find what makes you happy.
Go back to your main dashboard - how are things looking? Filled with things you're interested in? Excellent. If things don't work for you, don't be afraid to unfollow blogs.
Want to follow more blogs? New episode of Andor drop? Go to the "Your Tags" header and scroll around to find some more juicy content. Check out blogs you like, follow 'em if you like em, rinse and repeat! That's curating your dash!
Your Blog is Your House
Okay, so you have a dashboard of content that you like - but what do you do with it all? Someone once described a Tumblr blog to me like your little house that you can fill with all the things you like. There is no rhyme or reason, and you don't need an excuse to reblog something other than the fact that you liked it!
If you see something you like, reblog it! To me, I reblog things when I say "I like this and I want it to live in my house so other people can see it when they come visit"
Reblogging is like passing a message along to other people. You can just reblog it on its own to amplify it, or you can add your own tags, or if you have a funny reaction gif/thought/video/thousand-word-essay, add to it when you reblog!
Use tags. People actually find posts through tags here. Use them to help people discover that really cool reblog you found! You can also search for tags on specific blogs. This makes them great for categorizing posts on your own blog. For example, I use #2022 Game Journal when I blog about whatever game I'm playing so I can do a year-end review later and find all the posts later.
Like things too. Likes don't amplify posts, but they're nice to let a poster know you appreciated it! I also use likes a bookmark. Sometimes I don't have time to watch that TikTok, so I'll like it as a reminder to come back to it later.
Be Weird. You can have sideblogs to hold more specific content, but don't be afraid to just scoop up anything you like and put it in your house! Reblogging is how content gets passed around.
Random Blog Tips
Wow nice job, your blog's looking great! Before you know it, someone will find it, check out your posts, and maybe give you a follow if they like what you've made or what your reblog! The last thing I'll touch on here are some nitty-gritty tips that can help you think about all the meta stuff about Tumblr:
Tumblr is the most anonymous social media platform. No one has to know who you are. Take advantage of all the privacy options.
You can also hide likes and who you follow from public view - that's no one else's business! Turn off asks too if you want.
Play around with your settings in general - there are lots of customization options and other dash tabs that you can use to find new content. You can also turn on timestamps so you know if a post you see is a "heritage post," as they say. Content is evergreen here and I personally like to see that in action.
You can filter and hide tags that you don't want to see.
Just block people liberally, it's cool.
You can pay to remove ads (nice), but you can also leave the option to see Blazed posts on. Blazed posts are ones that people pay for impressions for - and any post can be Blazed. The kicker is, there's no ad targeting. It can be quite funny or quite annoying depending on what you want.
When viewing the notes on a post, you'll see comments, reblogs, and likes. For the reblogs section, I like to filter by "Comments only" to find what people have added to the post.
Like all social media sites, there are dark corners here. I think Tumblr more than most puts you in control to curate your Dashboard to only see what you want. Block a user, hide a post, and move on.
That should be quite enough to get started! Tumblr can take a little more time to "get" compared to other social media platforms (and get in on the long-running jokes!), but trust me, after a week, you'll notice the difference between checking your Tumblr dashboard and checking your Twitter timeline.
Your blood pressure will thank you.
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Hashira's React Pt.1
Decided to make a series known as "Hashira's React" for different situations. It's more for the giggle factor than much else. I will not be including Muichiro for this one specifically cause he is CHILD. And I will also leave out our lovable big bear Gyomei cause I'm not entirely sure how to write for him yet. Will make another post later just for him! Other than that feel free to send prompts for this, I'd love to work out your ideas regardless if they are dorky, simple, or in this case Slightly NSFW.
Sidenote, the art used here does not belong to me, If I can find the artist I will add it just below.
Content Warning: Mentions of Nudity
Word Count: 1.8 K
Proofread? No.
Hashira's react! to walking in on Love interest!Reader in the middle of changing! They caught you changing back into your uniform after getting a wound checked at one of the Wisteria Houses. They are all goofballs and I love them~
TENGEN (+ Hina, Makio, Suma)
アイロギ@ilog_kmt on https://twiman.net/
The Uzui's had met you after a rather long mission and almost immediately fell for you. Since then Tengen has been pulling some strings so that the lot of you could go on missions together.
Had heard from one of his mice that the reason you were late for the mission meet-up was because you had been hurt fairly bad in your last one. They all decide it's a great time to swoop in and try to woo you a bit. Ya know, show they genuinely care! (And shower you with some gifts while they were at it. I fully believe the Uzui's not only spoil each other but also any other love interests!)
Suma, being the worry wart she is, came crashing into the room not even bothering to knock. Makio came next chewing her out for being rude. Lastly, Tengen and Hina followed with the gifts. (Flowers and some bento's. Food in any medical setting tends to be bland and that's not very flamboyant.)
Suma cried out as Makio tried to pull her back to her. "Did you forget basic manners?"
"Makio, please she was just worried about them!" Hina's voice rand out as she walked into the room, none of them having noticed what they walked into yet.
"That doesn't excuse her from busting in!"
Tengen follows in quickly, eyes closed with a wide smile as he holds up the ridiculously large bouquet of your favorite flowers. "Pardon the intrusion, we heard you were-"
Hina gasps, finally catching sight of you panicked and red-faced as you try to cover your bits. "O-OH!"
Everyone quickly looks over to Hina, then to you. Suma squeals as Makio damn near picks her up to get her out of the room as Tengen and Hina quickly turn on their heels and dart out as well. A string of apologies is left in their wake as they slide the doors closed.
They are all blushing madly cause they on one hand felt bad about busting down the door, but on the other hand, got to confirm you are one hot SOB.
They wait until you are fully dressed before they even attempt to make contact. Starting off with apologies and Suma clinging to you saying she was sorry.
Suma may or may not have also let it slip she thought you were hot.
KYOJURO
アイロギ@ilog_kmt on https://twiman.net/
He had heard from a passing friend(everyone is this mans friend, let's be honest) that you were hurt. Right then and there he decided he was going to come bring you flowers to liven up the room while you were in recovery.
Since he really likes you, he took some advice from Uzui and got you a ridiculously large bouquet. Maybe a little over the top, but it's too late to turn around and get a different one. In his slightly overthinking state, he forgot to knock before opening the door.
He fumbles with the rather large bouquet of flowers in his hands as he paces outside your room's door, fretting for a bit if all of that is truly necessary. Tengen had told him to absolutely shower you in, his words, 'Flamboyant' gifts. And he trusts his friend's advice, especially since he had three wives who absolutely adored him.
Taking a breath to steel himself, he grinned that bright smile of his and swung open the door without a second thought. "My dear friend, I have brought yo- O-oh... Oh my-"
Out of sheer surprise, he dropped the flowers and covered his face. "M-MY GOODNESS! FORGIVE ME I SHOULD HAVE KNOCKED! I'LL LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!"
This man proceeds to turn around, still covering his face and run into the wall a couple of times before lamenting and flailing out his hand to find the door. It would have been endearing and a little funny if you weren't mortified that he had seen your bits.
Does not uncover his eyes till he eventually makes it out of the building, bumping into every wall on his way out and a few people.
SANEMI
アイロギ@ilog_kmt on https://twiman.net/
Had been keeping tabs on you since he realized he had feelings. The one time he's not out on patrol his crow Sorai comes to tell him that you were hurt pretty bad in a fight with a demon.
Now his mind is racing with all the ways you could have been hurt. And he wasn't there to do anything about it?
Panic.
Doesn't even ask anyone where you are, just starts opening doors and slamming them back shut until he finds your room.
Recognized you immediately and was about to start berating you until you yelled at him to get out. Why? You're naked.
It didn't even click till your hands shot up to cover yourself. Now he's standing in the doorway frozen. His mouth is opening and closing while he fumbles over words to try and say something about the situation.
"Oh- I... I, uhh..." Sanemi's brain is having a hard time trying to come up with a reply. Out of sheer will, he backs out of the room sliding the door closed uncharacteristically slow behind him.
He blinks a few times, then runs his hand down his face. He needs to go find a cave to crawl in and wilt away. There's no way he can recover from this, right?
He's not even three steps down the hallway before a loud thump can be heard. When you, fully dressed now, and the kakushi look to investigate the sound, Sanemi is face first on the floor completely out cold.
And now on top of the headache he has, his nose is bleeding.
OBANAI
TheCherryBlue on DeviantArt
Similar to Sanemi, he'd been keeping tabs on your wellness and whereabouts since the moment he realized he had feelings for you. He knew you were hurt before you even had the chance to send him a crow.
Almost feel bad for the demon he was in the middle of chasing down when he heard, he made quick work of it though. Now he can focus entirely on getting to you.
Had enough sense to not bust down the door, but was too worried to wait for a reply when he knocked and walked in. Was greeted with the sight of your semi-bare ass as you were trying to pull up your pants.
Thank the gods that he has a mask so you can't see how red his face got. He doesn't even mutter any words before he slams the door and practically rushes out of the building to crawl into a hole.
MITSURI
Had heard you were hurt and wanted to come check up on you. She didn't even let her crow finish speaking before she bolted for your location. It took her a moment, but as soon as she arrived at the safe house she asked all the kakushi which room you were staying in until one of them told her.
Normally she would knock on the door for a little forewarning that she was there, calling out your name in her normal sing song-y voice, but this time she made the grave error of nearly busting down the door.
Now she's standing there panting, frozen in place as she looks at you. It takes a few moments for her mind to catch up on what she just did.
Mortified she slams the door closed and starts blabbering out apologies faster than you can comprehend that she had even seen you naked.
"-I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO BUST IN LIKE THAT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I WAS JUST SO WORRIED WHEN I HEARD YOU WERE HURT-"
The staff on the other end of the hall from her are gawking wondering how someone could turn that red and not pass out.
Probably one of the few times you've heard her get close to actually cursing, cause let's be honest this cinnamon roll can't curse even if she tries.
She kept that up until you finally opened the door to let her know she was alright. You're not even sure she saw anything with how quickly she burst in and left. Maybe a single butt cheek, but that was it.
SHINOBU
梅雨音 on Twitter
Had come back to the Butterfly mansion to a nightmare. Damn near every room and bed was filled with injured slayers, her poor staff plus the extra help that was called in rushing around trying to tend to everyone.
She was working on autopilot by the time she got to your room. Hadn't even noticed that the sign on the outside of the private room had been labeled as "Tended" when she walked in.
Knocked on the door and promptly entered without waiting for a reply, only looking up from her patient list in time to utter your name.
She freezes, uttering a small "Ah." She immediately sees you're already bandaged up
"I see you've already been seen. My apologies, I'll leave you be to finish getting dressed."
Tries to play it off as if that blush on her cheeks wasn't from seeing you naked. Promptly takes her leave, closing the door and checking for how she missed that mark on the door. Not entirely upset that she saw you, but wishes it was under better circumstances.
GIYUU
アイロギ@ilog_kmt on https://twiman.net/
Came in to get some rest after a particularly rough night slaying. Had been running himself into the dirt chasing after that one demon and was exhausted. He misheard that he was supposed to take the second room on the left, not the first.
Our Boy doesn't know what the hell to do. His brain turned off entirely when he took note of your naked form.
His face and neck are so red, he can't help but look cause holy shit you are so pretty... And bare... And he's been staring at you, hasn't he?
He has been, for a few minutes. Your startled squeal didn't do anything but make him look at you and now he's stuck buffering. There's got to be a way to get his attention to snap back to reality, right?
Throwing something while trying to cover your bits at the same time is hard, but it works. So much for Hashira's danger sense cause that pillow hit him smack dab in the face.
Smack! Giyuu's reaction to the pillow hitting his face was a bit slow. Instead of smacking it away, his hand only managed to grab it when it collided with his face. And now he's holding it there while that buffer wheel in his head finally loads. He was staring at you, while you were naked. He ignored your cries to leave the room and that was so bad of him to do.
Now that his limbs are finally following orders again, he takes a step back to close the door and give you some proper privacy. Profusely muttering a muffled apology as he leaves.
Runs into you again in the morning and can't make eye contact. His face and neck are red again.
#hashira#tengen uzui#sanemi shinazugawa#rengoku kyojuro#obanai iguro#tomioka giyuu#mitsuri kanroji#shinobu kocho#demon slayer#kny#tengen x reader#sanemi x reader#kyojuro x reader#obanai x reader#giyuu x reader#mitsuri x reader#shinobu x reader
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Unsoulmates AU, part two!
Part one is here.
Hob isn't exactly expecting to run into his not-soulmate again. The man doesn't text him after Will's engagement party, not even to provide his name, and after a week of valiantly staring at his phone and willing it to buzz Hob is forced to admit that maybe he hadn't been serious.
It stings. For once it would have been nice to have someone realize he means it when he says that soulmates are bullshit.
But he's too busy to dwell on it, much. He has sets to build and an anxiety-inducing new job to get used to and about seventeen different hobbies he's accidentally abandoning.
He's at a party with some of Will's Strange Art Friends, digging through the top shelf of Will's absurdly tall cabinets, when a deep, familiar voice asks, "What are you doing?"
"Banditry," Hob says cheerfully, once he's finished not concussing himself on the cabinet door in shock. "Will promised me he'd bought some of 'those gross licorice things only I like' but he was really unclear about where they are." The cabinet he'd been rummaging in is clearly not the place, being full of expired soda and electrical tape, so Hob closes the door and leans over to the next one. "Did you come in here for snacks, too?" he asks, when there's no response from behind him.
"No," his not-soulmate replies, blandly. "I was hoping for a moment alone." His tone clearly implies that Hob's presence is ruining his evening, and Hob should either leave the room or cease to exist immediately.
"Ah," Hob replies. It stings, again, even though that's utterly absurd and he barely even knows this man. "I'll be gone in a sec," he adds, because he'll be damned if some asshole sabotages his Snack Quest, "just let me find my licorice."
The man- Hob should really get his name if they're going to keep running into each other like this- sighs loudly, but doesn't make any sort of verbal objection to Hob's continued presence. Hob ignores him, and resumes his Quest.
It takes three minutes of stony silence, but Hob eventually uncovers the licorice in a bowl on top of the fridge, which is not even close to being 'in one of the cabinets', Will. He's about to retreat from the kitchen with his prize, when the man says, "You actually do know Will," in a tone of utter confusion.
"Yeah," Hob says, slowly turning to face him. The man is sitting sprawled on the counter, his bearing almost regal except for the part where he's staring at Hob like Hob is a dog who unexpectedly started doing calculus.
"How???" the man finally asks. Hob can hear the extra question marks in his voice, even if his tone stays even.
"Used to date his archenemy," Hob says, with a shrug. "We stayed friends after Kit moved."
If anything, this seems to confuse the man further. "Or we became friends after Kit moved, anyway," Hob adds, possessed by a desperate need not so much to fill the silence as to keep voicing his thoughts. "Up until that point I'd wanted to support my boyfriend and all, but then he left and I wanted to keep building sets so I started to work with Will instead."
"You. What?"
"I volunteered to help build sets at that little theater Will used to work at," Hob says. "That was how I met both of them, actually. But then Kit and I started dating and that doesn't actually matter to what you were asking, does it?"
To Hob's utter bafflement, his not-soulmate nods at him to continue. Again, 'regal' is the only word for the gesture, even though he's sitting on a grimy counter in the nasty, yellowish lighting of Will's kitchen.
So Hob makes himself comfortable against the fridge and starts again, detailing the entire stupid saga of Kit-and-Will-and-Hob-making-the-whole-thing-much-worse-in-an-attempt-to-be-a-supportive-boyfriend. And at some point he swerves off into just talking about Kit-and-Hob, which is nice, because most of his friends were there for Kit-and-Hob, and don't find his sappy reminiscing terribly interesting.
And somehow that loops all the way around to how he was technically working for the government at that point, which, of all things, was the root cause of him getting on speaking terms with Will again. That and Kit moving, although it is really weird talking to Kit now because he can't avoid talking about the fact that he's accidentally befriended Kit's mortal enemy-
"You're still in touch with him?" Hob's not-soulmate asks softly.
Hob turns to fully look at him and regrets it immediately. Over the course of his ramblings, he'd moved from the fridge to the counter next to his not-soulmate, so that he could sit down and also easily share his licorice.
This means that his face is much closer to his not-soulmate's than he'd expected it to be, and for a moment he's lost in the blue of the man's eyes, the open intensity of his gaze.
"Oh. Uh, yeah," he says, when he's managed to remember the question. "The breakup was..." he trails off, looking for a word, and finally settles on, "amicable?"
His not-soulmate gives him that little 'go on' nod again. And Hob knows- he knows- that he should get some higher standards, but the quickest way to his heart is, and always has been, prompting him to keep talking, and he can feel himself falling as surely as he can feel the blush overtaking his face.
So he tips his head toward his not-soulmate, so that he can keep his voice low and still be heard above the crowd in the next room, and says, "Faustus got picked up. And like half of the filming was going to be overseas, but I couldn't leave London, at least not right then." His not-soulmate gives a look that isn't so much 'confused' as 'entirely uncomprehending,' so Hob adds, "I'd messed up my knee real bad." He gives the offending kneecap a hard tap and immediately regrets it. "Long story. I spent most of that summer in doctor's offices. And hospitals. So. 'Quit your job to travel with your boyfriend for a few months' was not really an option, for me. And he didn't want to do long-distance. So we broke up."
"Your soulmate left you alone, in pain, because he 'didn't want to do long-distance'?" Hob's not-soulmate asks. There’s something raw, close to pity but more tender, in his face, which makes Hob feel unbelievably guilty for laughing at the question.
"Oh, god, no," he says, with an expressive wave of his hand. "Kit wasn't my- No. Met his soulmate while he was filming Faustus, actually, otherwise we might have-" And then Hob shuts that sentence down, hard, because the breakup itself doesn't hurt as much as that part.
"Anyway," he says, and is about to ask if his not-soulmate wants to hear the story of how he busted his knee, it's pretty funny, actually-
"But if he wasn't your soulmate-" his not-soulmate asks, leaning toward Hob.
There hadn't been much space between them in the first place, is the thing. And now Hob's not-soulmate is leaning even closer, staring at him like an entomologist studying a particularly fascinating insect, and leaving Hob with exactly two options: tilt his head up, just a bit, and kiss him, or succumb to gravity and fall backwards into the sink.
"Hey, Hobs, I just realized-" Will says, walking into the room. He proceeds to choke on his own tongue, while Hob's not-soulmate jerks away from Hob like he's on fire, and Hob gracefully avoids the sink by falling off the counter entirely.
Will is the first to regain his composure. "Oh. Morpheus," he says, nervously, "I thought you left."
Hob looks sharply up at- at Morpheus, apparently, biting back a litany of questions. It makes sense that his aloof, mysterious stranger is the same aloof, mysterious stranger that Will credits for editing his first successful play to the point that it was a success. But with the way Will talks about Morpheus he'd been half-expecting a deity.
"I did not," Morpheus says. He's back to looking bored and regal, not a hair out of its artfully disheveled place, which is just rude given that Hob is still in a heap on the floor.
"Well if you're planning to stick around," Will says, "I'd been meaning to ask you about Midsummer-"
Morpheus' eyes light up, and he slides off the counter and sweeps out of the room, Hob clutching his candy in both hands to stop himself from physically reaching out to say, No, wait.
Will, at least, lingers for long enough to mouth, "Sorry," and shrug, before following him.
"What the fuck was that?" Hob asks aloud, when he's left alone with his bruised dignity.
The cabinets have no response.
He's not sure what he's expecting after that, but it certainly isn't for Morpheus to text him, Would you like to meet for coffee? the next day.
Of course Hob says yes.
He's smarter about it, this time. Makes sure he's seated in the café, with a double espresso and a plan, by the time Morpheus comes in. He doesn't even ask so what the fuck was that when Morpheus sits down next to him, no matter how much he wants to.
Instead, he says, "Why did you ask me to come here?" with all the frustration he'd felt the exact moment he'd hauled himself off of Will's kitchen floor, knee protesting viciously, trying to make sense of Morpheus, who'd willingly listened to him talk for close to an hour and then left without bothering to say goodbye. It's a step above what the fuck was that, but not by much.
"Because I'm interested," Morpheus says, his voice low.
"In. Me?" Hob asks.
"In your experience," Morpheus says, with more exasperation than Hob thinks is really fair for someone who just said he was 'interested' while staring at Hob's lips. "I want to know what it's like. Dating without looking for your soulmate."
Ah, Hob thinks. At least that makes sense. He's aware that avoiding his soulmate makes him an anomaly- sure, actually Waiting For Your Soulmate is less common these days than it used to be; plenty enough people are willing to have casual relationships in the meantime, but even then in the meantime is an implicit part of the equation.
He can accept it, if Morpheus' 'interest' in him is purely curiosity, as long as he knows where they stand.
And, to be honest, the fact that Morpheus is curious at all is... gratifying. Most people aren't even that.
So Hob downs his drink, grins at Morpheus, and proclaims, "It's fucking brilliant."
[Part Three]
#dreamling#unsoulmates au#my fic#I am renaming this universe because i feel like 'anti-soulmates' gives the impression that i think soulmate aus are bad or something#I do plan to write more of this#I have like. an outline and shit#but I cannot make any promises about when i will do that#i've got 17 WIPs and 0 attention spans
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HOW TF DO U DRAW BODIES?!
if i'm being honest......Irdk
here's my art progress. but still it's not perfect since there's some flaws in the anatomy but yk...i just draw
here's another example with a little more (+ reference). i wing it
ANYWAYS i suggest scrolling through this blog, has some really neat tips along with other stuff you may need:3 don't be shy to use references, they'll be your best man
you can ease your way up to learning how to draw different body types (as well as facial features). everybody starts somewhere
this has tons of stuff for art help in general. thought i'd add that too
i also like to reference how my fav artists draw bodies n stuff and slowly incorporate it into my art. knowing about the general anatomy of a person or whatever you're drawing can be helpful too, such as looking at how the muscles and skeleton work (and...whatnot)
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Villain-Fucker Angst Hours
Good timezone, darlings~ Are you ready to get all up in your feelings? No? Me neither, loves, but here we are regardless so the words are going to flow as they usually do... This is focused on Raphael from Baldur's Gate 3 and his fandom, but the latter section can easily apply to any villain fandom.
Self-Analysis of Devil-Fuckery, Or Why Do I Adore Raphael When He Is Very Obviously Evil: A Short Essay by TavyliaSin (Who Still Cannot Name Anything With Less Than A Full Paragraph) ((NSFW)) (((Game Spoilers)))
The following may discuss heavier topics, but without specifics, so whilst it should be safe for most to read without triggering any difficult memories please be aware of Raphael's entire vibes, the content and context of his story, and I'd also like to mention that this isn't a "woe be us for we are terrible people" piece, it's actually more about:
"There is an inherent kindness and warmth to much of the Raphael fandom, and I think there could be some common threads behind that, pulling us all in closer in a comforting blanket that we wrap around each other to keep out the cold of the world."
So, what in the nine hells am I on about? Well. Raphael-fandom is a wild and wonderful place to be. The rest is in sections, so feel free to skip through to what you feel is relevant to your interests. I am so prone to waffle I should open a restaurant~
Who Are Fans Of Raphael? What Do They Want?
We are feral, unhinged, all sheets to the wind "I want that devil man, carnally, and there is no force in all the planes that could stop me". There's the vanilla to the extreme and every level in between, tops, bottoms, versatiles, Doms, subs, and switches - there are a whole lot of people who would love to get their hands on either (or both) of Raphael's forms, for a simple smooch or something far more spicy~ [edited in] To add on to this, not all of us even desire him in a sexual way, for many it is romantic, soft, or even just the rather pleasant thought of spending an evening with drinks by the hellfire because he would be fascinating company. Aces, Aros, and AroAces may all find themselves well within the devilish corners of fandom too~ which is a whole other essay~ [end edit]
So, I see you. I'm one of you. Extremely loud and utterly hingeless in my fan appreciation for Raphael. He's one of my favourites to write about, I seek art of him, and the same goes for his mirrored other half, Haarlep, who I arguably love more despite there being far less content of them in the game.
And the Fandom? The Vibe?
From my experience in the Raphael Fandom areas, we have a very deep and abiding understanding of consent, respect, and treating each other with an absolute and uncompromising kindness.
We've had talks about keeping each other safe in fandom, exchanged details of people we have encountered who need to be avoided, even shared details between moderators of different fandom servers to pre-ban people proven to be creeps and/or art thieves.
We've also discussed consent, including the issues with it in the game, and how areas of the story can only really be considered dubious at best and could easily be triggering for people. And these discussions have been open, honest, fair, and with the acknowledgement that most of us love these scenes anyway.
So there's a sense of care that runs through everything, behind the horny-posting and fan content, behind the endless thirsting after our favourite fictional characters. We have a depth of kindness that warms my sinners soul every time I see it.
What Does This Have To Do With Self-Reflection, Raphael, or Villainy In General?
Well let's look at Raphael. He's a villain, obviously. He's manipulative, devious, and inherently evil by his very nature. He keeps Hope chained in his basement, constantly subjected to endless torture. There's also mention of how Gortash was sold into his service at a young age, clearly not an enjoyable experience given the other details and how things turn out (particularly as Raphael would need Gortash's own plans to fail entirely in order for him to succeed in his own and get that crown).
And as fans, we accept that.
We don't sit making excuses, or trying to say "well actually Gortash is a little shit and Hope probably deserve it", and we don't shy away from or conveniently ignore those darker sides of him with malicious intent to enable more evil to flourish.
What I noticed, when I allowed the thoughts to continue, is that there is a theme here.
If Evil Can Be Loved Then So Can I
That's the core. Of course, darlings, I am not claiming to be a heinous monster. I certainly do not have a laundry list of crimes that would make the devil himself say "Uh, that's a bit much."
But I sure as fuck treat myself like I do sometimes.
You see, I think a lot of us have that tendency, to judge ourselves far more harshly than anyone else. Our patience, understanding, and forgiveness for others runs deeper than the Mariana Trench, but when it comes to our own flaws? One minor mistake and we think ourselves to be the worst beings ever to disgrace the earth.
Thus, the villainy we see reflects how we are treating ourselves.
So by loving and accepting all of those things that should be terrible, hated, we are actually learning that no matter how poorly we think of ourselves that we can be worthy of that same love and acceptance. We are extending the affection we are unable to show ourselves to someone we see the worst parts of ourselves amplified within.
And that's why villains attract the people with the most kindness. The most forgiveness. Because it takes someone with a truly huge amount of empathy to find love for the embodiment of evil.
Or, IDK, maybe villains are just hot and we're too far down to care.
But wait, before you go!
THERE'S SOMETHING WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT.
All of this is about FICTION. We should never be accepting of the kinds of evil we see in the game irl. We do not owe anyone kindness if they do not show it to us.
What is hot in fiction is not always OK IRL.
Look after yourselves out there, remember that consent is key in all things, and please do try to learn to love yourselves, darlings, you are worthy of it and you should judge yourself by the same standard you judge others. If you are in doubt, if you are worried, if you feel afraid - reach out, talk to someone. There are many who will listen.
Treat yourself as you would treat a friend.
You deserve that much.
Oh, and all Raphael fans who understand kindness are welcome around me, any hour of the day, I adore our little fandom circles and would gladly collect all of us together. I'm following a lot of you as soon as I find you, like hunting shiny pokemon~
See you in Avernus, my darling Little Mice, may we all find joy in the Cambion's Embrace~
#baldurs gate 3#raphael#bg3 raphael#villain fucker#personal reflection#analysis of the inner mind by a complete amateur#listen the thoughts get loud then I write them down darlings it happens all the time#love yourself please#you are worth more than you give yourself credit for#and keep loving those villains! it's good for you!#be kind to yourself#and be kind in the community#did this even make sense? well it's there now so tough#DMS are open for fellow fans with excellent taste~
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Fanfics of the Year
As holidays roll around, I thought it'd be fun to throw out some of my favorite 19 day fics from this year! I've never done a fic recommendation post before, can you believe!? Reblog or comment and throw out some of your faves too! I'd love to see them and share their work around!
1. unstoppable force // immovable object by welcome2atlantis
How is this both angsty and so funny at all once. Truly a work of art and I love the dynamic between He Tian and Mo in this one. The character growth is immaculate.
2. Open the door (it'll make you feel better) by Anonymous
Wow, the writing in this is seriously top notch work. I felt immediately drawn in to these vivid feelings between characters. I also feel like this author brings out an interesting dynamic between Zhan Zhengxi and Mo in particular that I really found myself enjoying.
3. desecration by Fayre
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention this one. Fayre is such talanted writer and if you haven't read their other works, do yourself a favor and dive in. This fic though! My emotions can barely handle it, and I love it.
4. Bites by Asfodel
Another one I have to mention and another writer I recommend. This one had some surprisingly soft moments that nearly made me cry. It just feels so intimate.
5. Devil's On Your Shoulder (Strangers In Your Head) by ineffablefluff
As a big fantasy lover I have to mention this one. This writer creates a scene and drags you in. It's adventurous, bold, and heart wrenching.
6. The Edger by Elaine (LumCheng), rainy19days
A really fun format going back and forth between writers and characters. This is one of the more recent ones I've been reading and its sexy, funny, romantic, and just incredibly enjoyable.
7. fever dream by figglypudding
I could honestly put several on this list from this writer. I love a good sick fic, and thats exactly what this is.
8. get what you get by powerandpathos
This one is one chapter and every word is perfection. I would honestly take a whole series of this. It was written so well and the emotions are handled so well.
9. My Shelter by Mrs_Tears
Mo goes through some serious trauma and finds comfort in He Tian. What else is there to say? It's perfect!
I could honestly add so many more. Truly grateful to have such great writers in this fandom!
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