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#though it is not
fragileizywriting · 1 year
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dog i cannot explain to you what this is. at all. this night was a blur and somehow i ended up writing a little drabble for this idea we came up with in the ot3 server, and it's not done enough for me to put on ao3 but i want to go to bed and i still want to send it to them so here it is.
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cw: mommy kink, next-door-neighbor and milf marinette, university students luka / adrien living off campus, ot3
“You two know I don’t mind homosexuality— oh, Christ, I sound like a grandmother. Please, no, let me explain”—it’s not as if they exactly have a choice, not with the way she raises a single finger to shush them both as if they were about to leap for her throats for the potentially upsetting comment—“I adore you both. I am very much pro-sex underneath our roofs, I’m a—”
“—Ally?” Adrien offers.
“God, no. A bisexual,” she continues, cool as a cucumber, “and I’ve always been ever since I was young enough to figure out that fingering girls in the bathroom at school was like heaven. I have nothing against gay sex and I never have, and I do not ever want my boys to think they’re not allowed to fuck.” 
The silence settles again. Luka tries not to look at her fingers, and tries not to wonder how many times they’ve been in someone. He’s doing a shit job. His cock is far too interested to stop.
“But I just can’t let you two fuck without condoms,” she sighs at the two of them, putting her hands on her thick hips. The two of them shrink in their spots, shying away at being chided. “I want my boys healthy.”
“Marinette—”
“Healthy,” she reiterates, almost begging.
They’re on their lovingly used— he refuses to call it old— couch, each trying to keep modest with a single couch pillow over their crotch and a haphazard, itchy throw blanket over them both. Luka knows that the pillow wouldn’t have been enough for Adrien, who seems to move and itch and scratch the fabric all over in an attempt to have a reason to take it off and deliver some bullshit line about how Marinette deserves to see him naked.
Perhaps she’ll see me and think I’m delectable, Adrien always attempts to reason with him. Look at me. Who could resist?
That blanket is necessary. For his sanity and for Marinette’s… eyes. Adrien is a handful, though Marinette’s never not been able to handle him, but this is uncharted territory. Spare glances to one another and sexual tension aside.
She’s twenty years older than us, Luka keeps telling his boyfriend.
To which Adrien always answers back: Come on. Live a little. What other twenty-two year olds can claim they scored their next door neighbor who’s also a literal MILF?
God, how he wants to agree. He’s got it just as bad, though he reasons he’s doing a much better job at hiding it; meanwhile if Marinette wants Adrien to help her with chores around her apartment, Adrien’s at the door already scrabbling for the door handle in order to cross the hall and get into her space. If she calls him Kitty-cat, he’s purring for her.
Adrien is a lost cause when it comes to her. At least Luka hides his mommy kink, but his boyfriend is impossible to reason with when it comes to tits. Marinette’s tits.
Maybe Luka can somehow convince her to turn away. Maybe Luka can convince her to go back into the kitchen where she was mere minutes ago while he’d had Adrien at the bathroom counter— they hadn’t heard her walk into their own apartment, thinking that they didn’t have any guests— fruitlessly calling out their names in an attempt to get their attention. A left-alone Marinette is a dangerous one, and while him and Adrien have always known, they’ve both definitely learned their lesson tonight. The poor woman was just looking to tell them she’d made them dinner and was dropping it off…
Maybe he can stage an emergency.
He was checking my dick, Luka’s mind first comes up with. Or, rather, we just needed to make sure that his ass was in order. He’d complained that he’d lost feeling…
Not working. But it’s better than just staring at her in the same way puppies or kittens do when they’re completely unsure on how to navigate the room. Even sweat drying against the nape of his neck, with his balls aching and begging to be soothed and a dick that is harder than granite while staring at her cleavage, the most uncomfortable thing is how her eyes glitter at them both. He imagines a paddle in her hand, or at least a firm scolding with a lot of ass slapping, scolding them for misbehaving. Maybe Adrien’s imagining it too, though more… sexually… because Adrien’s breath hitches.
They’re screwed.
The more she purses her lips— even bothers to pull on a single lock of hair that she has in that high ponytail fitting for a mother who’s been in the kitchen all night— it makes more and more sense why Adrien’s fingers are moving quicker and quicker on the fabric. Thank god for this blanket.
She breaks the silence. “Also, you’ll fart come bubbles out of your ass if you don’t use a condom.”
Luka does his best not to get whiplash. “Huh?”
“Come bubbles?” she narrows his eyes when he refuses to recognize what she’s saying. She sits herself down on their ottoman, and Luka does his absolute best not to watch that poor little stool flatten and warp underneath such an ass. “You’ve never had come leak out of your ass? It’s so uncomfortable, isn’t it?”
Luka is so brave. He’s the bravest man in the world.
“I remember when I had my first orgy back when I was younger and it happened to me the first time. I was so miserable on that toilet, come dripping out of me like a damp rag.”
“How younger?” Adrien blurts out.
“Good question. I can’t remember where my kid was left with, if I’d left him at his grandma’s, or…” She’s prone to doing this a lot. She seems to misplace her kid everywhere, this poor man. Luka’s never met him, but feels sympathy. There’s a bit of an airyness to Marinette. Something ditzy. It goes with her personality and the way she expresses herself: lots of pink, and elegant little jewelry, like this set she’s wearing now. A simple v-neck dress that gathers and flows at her ankles in an attempt to be summery even though nights in their city dip into chilly weather, and a dazzling little gold necklace with her favorite bead that has a stick figure of a little boy. No shoes on as she digs her feet into their rug, anklets jingling as she bounces all of her weight on her toes, because even though they don’t have that shoe rule in their apartment, she does it anyway.
“Oh, I remember! I didn’t have a baby at the time, because it was my first true sex experience. Everything else was… nothing compared to this.”
Luka does the quickest math he’s ever been able to do. “Oh. Nineteen… eighty seven?”
“Not sure. I don’t think it was even eighty five, though. It certainly felt younger.”
He blanches. That’s. That’s not even legal. “You went to an orgy without being of age?” he asks. It’s a pathetic little squeak, really. He’s still dealing with his hard-on.
“Well, it was the eighties,” she lobbies. Side-eyeing him when she realizes he knows her birth year. “Seventeen and all. Anyway. Where was I?” Finding her point again, she trudges forward. “Ah, right! Come bubbles.”
Adrien squirms. “Marinette, I would really love to have this conversation, I would, I of all people know the importance of sex education, but we—”
“—I really can’t have you two fucking without a condom.” She waves Adrien off. “You know what come bubbles are, don’t you, baby?”
He has the audacity to narrow his eyes. “Why are you asking me and not Luka?”
“Well, I… it’s—”
“Do you think I’m always getting fucked?” Adrien asks honestly, a smile sliding onto his face. “Because I assure you, I like fucking people.”
“Uhm.” Marinette pinks. She has freckles along with age lines on her face, and it’s a symphony of beauty as she blushes. It’s hard to find her doing it, somehow always keeping her cool even when she makes it as far as coming across them fucking each other silly in their private bathroom in their private apartment, but now the reality seems to be dawning on her.
There are two young naked men staring at her under a scratchy blanket.
She found them fucking. 
She’d brought them dinner as usual, only to find them like this. Distantly, he wonders if the dinner is actually an offering of peace after she’d woken them up the previous week during finals with her Nutribullet and devastatingly thin walls that had Adrien knocking on her door and begging for reprieve. They’d sent their valiant soldier. She’d been adamant about him trying her new spinach-kale delight. Adrien had promptly come back home and decided that perhaps god was in fact found in morning smoothies, something starstruck and horny on his face. Mumbling something about being ordered to drink from her favorite glass straw, Adrien had only been able to relay the bare bones about how apologetic she was, before burying his face in Luka’s chest, talking about how even at six in the morning Marinette wears lipstick.
Adrien adores her lipstick. Just as much as he adores getting his ass railed in the bathroom, which was what Luka was attempting to do before this divine intervention.
“Well I’m sure you do, Kitty-cat,” she murmurs. “But you’re the one I found bottoming, baby. Without a condom. Were you going to come inside?”
“He usually does.”
“How do you deal with the come afterwards?”
Luka wants to die as Adrien answers: “Felching.”
“Oh,” Marinette answers. Wisely. Smartly. Wide lips made smaller. “I guess you can’t get come bubbles like that, huh?”
And here’s where Luka has to nip Adrien’s next sentence in the bud before it takes root. He knows that face. “Would you like me to prove how effective it is in—”
“—Marinette, we really don’t need the condoms,” Luka tries.
“Shoot,” she sighs, as if she hasn’t heard them. Biting a corner of her nail as she looks the two of them over like she’s trying to tell them apart. “I’d give you mine if I had any, but ever since I got my tubes tied, I haven’t needed them.”
Luka’s hand goes flying onto Adrien’s chest before he tries jumping off the sofa and pulling away the blanket from his dick.
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kochei0 · 2 months
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I turn to Ares.
Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK
⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon
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butchfalin · 5 months
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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tariah23 · 3 months
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Oh…. Well, it’s over for Crunchyroll I guess
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crplpunkklavier · 4 months
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a gentle fact about this world is that people will want to help you. a cruel fact about it is that you do have to put on your big boy pants and open their contact on your phone and say some human words to ask them for it
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sylvies-kablooie · 3 months
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i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.
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qrowpilled · 8 months
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hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month
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0ffbeatqueer · 9 months
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This is my new favourite headline I've seen all year lmaooo
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 days
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Expertise can't help you here.
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sergle · 9 months
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this tweet is making me choke to death
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gaybichon · 5 months
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susan sarandon's son 😭😭
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puphoods · 1 month
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the noble palawan peacock pheasant
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ithappensoffstage · 2 months
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I am genuinely so worried for all the young horny dykes going into adulthood thinking there's something "problematic" / "wrong" with them for being horny because fucking tiktok lesbians think any horny dyke content is "male gaze fetishitic"
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capydoodle · 2 months
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dungeon capy... oh, dungeon capy...
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t00thpasteface · 5 months
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fucking love saying "tough crowd" or "is this thing on" after telling a joke and not getting a response. or "i still need to workshop that one". you fools. even when you completely ignore my jokes you're only helping me set up more jokes. it's open mic night at the hotel california
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eosofspades · 9 months
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i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues
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