#those 2 months they were apart were rough huh
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Dan really had a solo career for a year and then was like "ok that's enough" and went back to being a duo with Phil
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Coriander (c.b. one-shot)
♡ Chapter Inspo: Love, health, immortality, and protection. Tie fresh coriander with a ribbon and hang in the home to bring peace & protection. Add to love charms and spells to bring romance or use in ritual work to ease the pain of a broken love affair. Promotes peace among those who are unable to get along. Use the seeds in love sachets and spells.
♡ Summary: You are in a FWB situation with Richie, Mikey dies - Carmy comes home to run The Beef, and suddenly...you find yourself in a FWB situation with Carmy as well, what happens when Carmy makes you two official in secret so he can have you all to himself?
♡ W/C: 5.3K+
♡ Posted Date: 05/29/2024
♡ A/N: Hellooooo! Happy day 4/7 of the Capri 200 Follower Celebration Extravaganza!!! You can find said extravaganza ♡Here♡ this celebration will be going until next Sunday (06/02/24) so get your requests in! Here's another celebration ask on the books! This ask is from a sweet anon, ask can be found right ♡Here♡ - Thank you so much for your request! As you can tell by the word count I got very inspired! I hope you enjoy :D This could easily have a part 2 so if you want one, just let me know in the comments This is kind of a Richie/Carmy thing i've never written Richie before and I had a whole lot of fun doing so!
♡ Warnings for BTC: Swearing, FWB Relationships, Smoking, Usual TB trigger warnings, Asshole!Carmy (kinda), Angst, No real comfort to be found in the end, Age gap relationships, Rough sex, smutsmutsmut, No uses of Y/N, Reader not described (pics are for vibes only)
♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡
➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡
➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡
➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡
➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡
You had been working at The Bear since it was The Beef. 3 months before Mikey died, you were hired as a food runner. You’d met Mike maybe twice? Both times, the guy was high out of his mind- so you couldn’t say much about his character.
Richie on the other hand, was flirty. He was handsome, he was funny, he had a huge cock. You were in your third year of college, Richie was smitten with your girlish charm, and you’d fucked those 3 months pretty consistently - until Carmy came back to Chicago.
You’d been warned his ‘cousin’ was a big shot NYC chef, ‘Michelin Starred’ Richie said one night while fucking your brains out after a stressful shift as he smoked a cigarette in his shitty, dimly lit apartment. Puffs of smoke left his lips as your ass bounced against his hips and he rambled on about what had pissed him off today,
“Ye’ sweetheart- fuck-“ he took a long inhale before continuing - “mm’y’fuckin tight baby- shit-“ he stuttered as your pussy clenched around his cock firmly as your second orgasm washed over you, thighs shivering. “Thaaas it- huh? Gooood girl. Knew y’could do it babygirl” he kissed the dimple on your spine as you shivered, tendrils of smoke trailing up your back and over your hips.
He then sat up, casually taking another drag, tightening his non-dominant hand around your hip so there would be little fingertip bruises once more over the yellowing hearing ones, and continued, his bruising pace getting rougher and quicker as he continued chasing his own orgasm.
The meat of your ass and the skin of his hips made smacking sounds as they came together. Pathetic little whines drag from your lips with each rough kiss the tip of his cock gave your cervix as he just continued talking like he wasn’t using you like a fuck doll.
“he uh, has a Michelin star- whatever that means? He’s a little prick. Guess that’s ahh-fuck- that’s why Mike left it t’him- he knows how t’make fancy shit- little fuckin’ Eleven Madison Park dickhead” he grunted as he filled you up, spanking you roughly for good measure.
“Good girl. Always take it like a little whore mm?” He puts out his cigarette in the ashtray. He pats your hip gently as he pulls out, collapsing next to you with an old man grunt that you always teased him for. “Ey’ sweet girl, Y’wanna rub my back since I fucked y’so good mm? So I won’t be sore at work tomorrow?” He pulled you close, kissing your neck, his stubble making you shiver as cum leaked down your beard-burned thighs.
That was how you spent one to three nights a week since you’d started working at The Beef.
Then, Carmy came. For the first 6 or so months, it was business as usual for you and Richie. Quiet spanks on the ass as you walked by him during rush as you brought food out to a customer, sometimes letting him fuck your face in the back alley as he went on about what an asshole Carmen was being that day.
You just took it, the fighting, the bickering, the sexual tension. You were the go-between for the both of them, when they weren’t talking Richie would bug you to go tell Carmy what he needed to say. “Immature asshole” you’d call him at the end of the day as he knelt between your thighs in that same shitty apartment, sucking on your clit while his beard scratched up your thighs. He’d just chuckle into you, squeezing your thighs amusedly with his large hands.
Then one day, you were in the dry storage, grabbing something for Marcus that was on the bottom shelf and heavy. You were bent over, trying to tug it out and the door shut behind you. “Hey- sorry just gonna reach over you-“ Carmy. When you felt him press against your ass like that, his tattooed hand resting on your hip. You felt heat rushing straight for your core, your stomach flipping and fluttering.
Then, you started making moves. A brush of the hand here, a smile there, a giggle at one of his dorky jokes no one else bothered to pay attention to, of course, he noticed. The young piece of ass that used to spend all day giggling and shooting the shit with his older cousin was into him now. The first night it happened, you made sure to pick up a double on a day you usually didn’t go home with Richie, and while everyone except Carmy did their best to rush out the door as soon as they possibly could, you stuck behind.
You went to the bathroom, fixed up your hair, and your makeup not enough to be noticeable to a guy that you’d changed, but enough to look fresh. You put on some more lipgloss, freshening up your body spray and hiking your tote bag onto your shoulder before heading out of the ladies' room into the back-of-house. You heard the swish swish of a scrub brush, and the plopping of water - and knew Carmy was still in there scrubbing something. When you turned the corner to see him on his hands and knees, muscular arms flexing as he really scrubbed that floor. You could tell there was something….about Carmen Berzatto.
It wasn’t just the fact his brother died, it wasn’t this strange stoic seriousness he had at not even 35, it was something else. Dedication, maybe? But you weren't sure to what because not a day went by without referring to the restaurant as ‘a shithole with decent sandwiches’ - you knew he was just keeping it running because it’s what Cicero wanted and no one denied that man. But you wanted to see if that dedication or learning ability translated into the bedroom. “Damn- You could eat off that grout” you teased. His head popped up, blue eyes twinkling under the iridescent lights.
This damn family and their pretty eyes
“The hell you still doin’ here? Y’shift ended what-” he looked at the clock, “An hour and six minutes ago” he continued scrubbing at the tile with the tiny little brush.
“Oh you memorized my shift schedule?” you teased, a small smile on your lips. You were towering over him, being sure to block his light so he would give you his attention once more.
“I make the schedule, yeah I know when my employees work” he looked up at you again “n’y’re in my light” he pushed his greasy curls out of his way with his dry hand.
“Mmm- last I checked Chef Syd did the scheduling- unless…that changed?” you asked and he looked back at the floor, scrubbing over the same spot he had been since you came over here.
He made a little ‘mm’ noise and was quiet for a few moments as he continued to scrub. “So why are you still here if y’not gettin’ paid?” he asked again. You crouched next to him, hugging your knees and he stopped, looking over at you. He could smell your perfume perfectly, your lipgloss glitter was shimmering in the light. He could very well near smell the mint coming off of your breath from the gum you had chewed an hour earlier. He swallowed thickly, blinking a few times how he did when he was confused he noticed and his eyes fan to your lips before back up to your eyes. “Uh-”
You cut him off “Cause I haven’t met you, Carmy. We haven’t talked, Why’s that?” you question with a small, innocent smile. It was true, he all but ignored you while he’d been here. The only time he spoke to you was when he absolutely had to tell you something or when he was assigning you your morning tasks when you first got in.
“W-What d’you wanna know?” he asked, tongue darting out to quickly wet his lips. He was nervous.
“Why do you ignore me for starts” you jet your bottom lip slightly out into a little barely there pout for added effect, “Tina asked me a few days ago what I did, so what did I do Carmy?” you ask gently. You knew it was because you caught him staring at you so often he thought you thought he was a creep, but you thought it was adorable how flustered he got when he’d been caught and quickly tried to make it look like he’d been focused on something else.
“Nothin- nothin’ y-you didn’t do anything m’sorry I made you feel- what’re you-” he trailed off as you gently fixed his Saint Anthony chain so it was facing front, carefully slipping your finger under the loop and pinching it between your forefinger and thumb, adjusting the clasp to be at the back of his neck.
“Sorry, small things like that bug me, I think little things bug you too, Carm” you said softly. His cheeks were getting pink, his pupils were widening. Your plan was working. “Is this ok?” you gently fixed the sleeve of his t-shirt over his bicep, the fabric deliciously stretching over his buff arm
“Mhmm” he muttered, breath catching as your hand trailed up his shoulder and resting there. “Did you um- did you need something…” he asked, voice that delicious kind of soft you adored.
“I thought you'd never ask. I’m gonna go to the back office and wait. If you think you know what I need, then come on back. If you don’t want to, we can just pretend this never happened mm?” you got up, making sure to sway your hips a tad more as you went to the back office. You pushed the door shut behind you and dropped your tote under the desk, sitting down on it and leaning back against the wall. He came in 2 minutes later, cheeks red, biting his lip as he opened the door and saw you sitting on the desk.
He blinked rapidly, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing “Jesus Christ” he muttered to himself, shutting the door behind him. “Y-y’re sure. Like- wait you mean- you mean you want me t-”
“Do whatever you want with me, chef,” you told him in a sultry tone, watching him closely as he walked over. You’d assumed he’d be just like Richie, rough, unforgiving, and sometimes even a little mean, but the way he cupped your cheek was…gentle.
“Are you sure you want this? M’y’r boss..I don’ want you t’feel like i’m…making you, ‘er somethin’” he ran his thumb over your cheekbone. He was so close that you could smell the cigarette smoke on his breath as well as the musky scent of the long workday mixed with his cologne. You were nearly put in a trance by it. In response, you gently rest your palm on the back of his neck, pulling him closer and giving him a gentle kiss.
He leaned forward, resting his hand on the side of your thigh and kissing you back, his lips hesitant on yours at first but when he felt your tongue swipe his bottom lip, his hand moved to your shoulder and gently squeezed as he opened his mouth, tongue darting out to find yours. He moaned softly at your taste, his breath coming out in small hot puffs that fanned your upper lip as you explored his mouth with your tongue. His hand that was on the desk gently moved to your hip, giving a tentative squeeze. You grabbed it, bringing it to your breast and with your hand over his, guiding him to squeeze and massage it.
He let out a little hum of realization and did as you asked, only able to do so much with a t-shirt bra and work shirt, he with trembling hands tugged at the bottom of your navy blue The Beef t-shirt, asking for permission to take it off. You pulled away, swiftly taking off the shirt and reconnecting your lips with his. Your hands made your way behind your back, unhooking your bra and pulling it off, bringing both of his hands to your breasts. You whine softly as he pinches and rolls your nipples between his fingers, the action making them even harder and perkier. He kissed down your jaw, nipping gently and sucking on the sensitive skin.
Richie can’t know this happened
“N-no marks babe- kay?” you said a bit breathlessly, hand trailing up to gently tug at his hair. He hummed in response, kissing down and mouthing over the hickeys Richie had left earlier in the week. You bit your lip as he continued to roll and tug your nipples kissing down your neck and when he finally got to your breasts you heard him mutter
“So fuckin perfect” before he took one of your perky abused nipples into his mouth, lightly sucking as you combed through his curls, taking out all the knots with your nimble fingers. With his other hand, he continued to massage your other breast, causing a moan to fall from your lips.
“You wanna fuck me? Mm? Right here over the desk? You can go as hard as you want yea?” you told him, it was nice that he was spending so much time dedicated to making you feel good, but were confused why he hadn’t just…bent you over and gotten it over with by now like Richie usually did when you fucked at work.
He pulled off with a pop, looking up at you with those wide eyes that had been darkened with lust. “Uh- Can I taste you..instead?” he asked shyly, resting his chin on your sternum gently, his hot breath puffing from his nose and tickling your chest. You raised your brows, looking at the clock - wasn’t he exhausted?! If he ate you out, that would be what - another 15 minutes on top of him getting off, would probably be another 20, so you both wouldn’t be getting out of there until 1:30 or so.
Well, if it's what he wants.
“Sure honey” You got up, slipping out of the sweats you took the train home in usually, setting them on the desk to sit on and pushing your panties down as well after kicking off your Ugg slipper shoe-type things and sitting back on the desk, spreading your thighs for him and resting one of your heels on the edge. His mouth parted slightly, nearly dropping to his knees, his curls falling in front of his eyes but he didn’t seem to care as he kissed your inner thighs, almost enjoying his time getting you worked up. He gently sucked on your nether lip, groaning lightly at your flavor. Your mouth drops as you watch him, fully blissed out as he laps at your wet folds.
“Holy shit Carmy” you breathe, gently pushing his bangs back so you could see his pretty blue eyes once again. He looks up at you, sandy brown long lashes nearly touching his bushy brows as he connects his mouth with your clit, flicking his tongue over it and running his jaw back and forth messily, a mix of drool and your arousal running over his chin. “Wow feels so good - doin’ so good Carmy” you breathe, head falling back in pleasure and breathing picking up. He was really good at this. When Richie was in the mood (AKA his back wasn't hurting, or his knees, or his shoulder) he would give you the pleasure of eating you out, and he did it well, he always made sure you came when he did it, and you never had to fake it with him.
You weren’t going to have to fake it with Carmy, either, because holy shit - he was amazing at this. You felt that familiar tightening within’ your stomach within minutes. He took one of your thighs, throwing it over his shoulder to give himself a better angle, and ran his tongue down, slipping it inside of your pussy and moaning as you gush over his tongue when his nose runs back and forth over your clit, stimulating it most deliciously. Your thigh twitched, toes curling, and a sharp moan comes from your throat, biting down roughly on your lip. “God- god Carmy, I’m cumming” you warn, Gripping his curls rougher which seemed to edge him on, rubbing you rougher with his nose and curling his tongue up against your gummy walls, wet lewd noises coming from between your thighs.
Within moments there was a fire of pleasure shooting beneath your skin as you cried out in ecstasy. Your eyes rolled beneath your lids, letting go of his hair and gripping the desk instead with a crushing grip as he worked you through the intense waves of overstimulating delight that ripped through you relentlessly. He finished with a chaste kiss on your thigh before grabbing your bra and helping you put it on as well as your panties, even finding the shirt you’d thrown and shaking off the dust from the floor before handing it over. “That was uh…really good, thank you” he wiped his chin and lips with the back of his hand, rubbing it on the back of his jeans. You shamelessly stared at his crotch and noticed the hard bulge in his jeans before looking back up at him.
“You don’t want to get rid of that? I can suck you off if you want I have a hair tie” you said, holding up your wrist to show him. He shook his head, running a hand through his hair.
“No- no you don’t owe me anything, I got what I needed don’worry. See y’tomorrow- make sure you leave through the back I already locked up the front” he said, leaving the office and closing the door behind him to give you some privacy. You sat in shock for a moment, blinking a few times. All he wanted from you was to eat you out? You’d never met another guy who simply ate you out and that was it - they’d always…expected something from you after, and of course, you gave it because you felt like they’d paid you a favor just by eating you out first even if you didn’t finish. You slip your work shirt back on, get up, and put on your sweats with shaky legs before slipping your shoes back on.
It continued like this, the days you weren't fucking Richie, you were in the back office getting eaten until you nearly passed out. Until The Beef started getting renovated, then the days you weren’t getting your brains fucked out in Richie's bed, your thighs spread wide at odd hours of the morning on Carmens’ couch, some random cooking show playing in the background as he lapped at your pussy like a man starved on his knees in front of you after kissing down your body like you were a goddess to be worshipped. If you were quite honest, you liked this routine. It felt perfect for you, you knew where your feelings lay for both of the men, and it was a stable comfortable routine on both sides.
For Richie, it was fun and flirtatious. Sneaky spanks when you came to visit and help him renovate the restaurant with Neil, rough makeout sessions in the back alley when he went out for a smoke, rough near bruising quickies in the soon-to-be walk-in freezer that hadn’t been set up yet, so it was a nice little private area you two could go. He’d even started stealing a kiss or two when you weren’t being sexual. He was protective of you, Carmy started noticing this. That was why a few weeks before the big opening, he had started being a bit more handsy with you.
The two of you started spending a lot more time together, and you realized he was even opening up to you a bit more. He began asking to see you more often, taking you out with him when he had to run errands for the opening. When he took you with him to the restaurant supply store, he had his hand rested on your lower back, gently rubbing circles as he explained to you the difference between the bunch of different kinds of cutlery. You had been baffled that there were 11 different kinds of butter knives there and he explained to you the difference between them, as well as showed you which sets went together.
It was strange you were clenching your thighs together while a man chatted you up over silverware, but the way he guided your hand to hold them so you were doing it ‘properly’ when you picked one up to get a closer look, had your heart jumping to your throat. That specific encounter was the first time you’d been able to really fuck him, and also draw some dominance out of him as well. It wasn't even his day with you, he knew it - he very well knew this, but little did you know that was the reason why he did it. You rode him hard and fast in the back of his van in the parking lot, he’d made sure to move to a spot in the way back where no one else had been parked so the two of you didn’t get caught and thrown on a registry, of course.
So, that night when you had met up with Richie after he had made you dinner and bent you over the couch for your usual Wednesday night activities - by the first yank of your hips you squeaked, “Gentle - please, daddy, not too rough..” you were glad he was taking you from behind, because you couldn’t bare the confused sweet sorry look on his face. You never asked him to be gentle with you, of course he obliged- because it was all an act. Richie was a big softie, a teddy bear. He just liked to fool around and put on the big mean daddy act in the bedroom because it was fun for the both of you.t in the bedroom because it was fun for the both of you. But he would never really want to hurt you.
“Wha’s wrong baby, mm? Why you hurtin’?” He held you up by your ribs, sweetly kissing your hairline as he thrusted slower and softer in and out of you, gently resting his lips against your forehead “was I too hard Monday? M’sorry my sweet girl” he rubbed over your breast gently as he continued his gentler strokes. His sweet girl. That caused your heart to sting a bit. You didn’t know that he liked you too, the same way you liked him. Unless it was just an act? You hope it was an act.
“Yeah” you said, knees going weaker when he reached around your front and toyed with your clit, your hips bucking at the soreness Carmen had left you with earlier.
“Yeah? Y’never been like this before sweetheart” he kissed over your neck, beard scratching at your skin.
“Mm- s’okay- feels good- like it when it hurts like this” you rest your head back on his shoulder, closing your eyes and feeling a pit of guilt setting in your stomach. Would it hurt him if he found out you had started fooling around with Carmy? You hoped not, but couldn’t help but wonder. They were family. Most of all you would hope it wouldn’t make him insecure due to the much closer proximity Carmy and your ages were. You were so lost in your own head that you didn’t even realize he was finishing inside of you like normal moaning into your hair.
“So good- such a good girl” he kissed your head. “go get cleaned up kid, gotta get outta here early t’day cus’ I needa go to Eva’s school play thing” he pats your ass gently and pulled out, leaving you draped over the arm of the couch naked from the waist down and cum leaking down your thighs. You shut your eyes for a moment, rubbing over your face before standing up and doing as he said.
A little over a week later, Carmy asked you to go straight with him. Well. Not really, he asked you if you were fucking other people to which you gave a simple yes and he just said ‘oh…wish I could be the only one’ you teased him and asked if that meant you wanted to be together, just the two of you and he said yes. So, you stopped fucking Richie. You stopped letting him kiss you in dry storage - you stopped having your ass be available for slapping as he walked by.
And man, was it hard. He looked like a sad puppy, a small pout coming to his lips when you turned your cheek causing him to kiss that instead of your lips. “ ‘ey-“ he turned your face towards him “where’s my kiss?” You just looked down at the floor, before turning and grabbing the bag of onions you’d been sent in there to get and saying
“I don’t think we should keep doing this. We should…just work together.” As much as you hated to say it, you did. Then you left the dry storage, and Richie felt his heart crack slightly. Things with him felt way more real then with Carmy, but Carmy was the one who asked you to be his, so you just…went with who asked. You had thought that was the best choice. Even though you stomped on his heart that day, he still cracked jokes with you, and was the same sweet dork you worked with before you started hooking up, the sweet dork that made you want to hook up with him in the first place.
2 days before the friends and family opening, Carmy invited you over to his so he could cook for you. You’d been able to have his cooking once before, when he’d had you come over right in front of Richie at The Beef, and held a spoon to your lips, a hand under your chin for you to try something he’d come up with. Tonight he was making his familys pasta, and when you’d got there you nearly jumped his bones when he was wearing a work shirt from The Beef. You’d never seen him in it before, he’d never worn it to work even though everyone else had to be wearing theirs.
You had a joke with yourself that he knew how yummy and slutty he looked in those stupid plain white t’s so thats why he kept wearing them.
“Hey sexy” You’d said when he opened the door, standing on your toes to kiss him deeply. He hummed, pulling you inside quickly and shutting the door behind you both so no neighbors would see. He grabbed your ass with his palms, squeezing it and spanking you lightly.
“Hey pretty girl” he said, kissing your top lip messily “y’hungry, right? Dinners almost done” he carefully brushed your hair from your face, looking down into your eyes with one of his sweet smiles.
“Mm always hungry for the best chef in the worlds food” you mused, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and playing with his curls “Why’d you never wear this at work, mm? Y’look sexy babe” you kissed his neck. He hummed, hands trailing up your back and palming over your ribs.
“Cause they’re itchy, and it’s laundry day” he said as you rubbed over his chest, grabbing at his pecks and squeezing at the flesh. He chuckled, brushing your hands “jesus someones handsy eh? He cupped your cheeks, angling your eyes towards him “food’ll burn, go wash up yeah? I’ll get y’plate ready” he pecked your lips and ran his hands down your front, grabbing your hand nd pressing it to his lips before heading back to the kitchen.
You followed as he said, going to the restroom and washing your hands as well as your makeup off with the makeup wipes that lived in his bathroom for you now, before going to his bedroom. You stepped out of your stupid waitress uniform, slipping on his white shirt that kissed just below your bum. You padded out to the kitchen, seeing him wiping the edge of your plates off with a paper towel, a kitchen rag over his shoulder. God, he looked so amazing in his element. “Hey” you said gently, going to hug him from behind
“Hey sweet girl, just about done” he sprinkled some fresh parsley over the dish masterfully, before gently rubbing over the back of your hand and bringing it to his lips, kissing it. “How was the train?” he asked and you pulled away, walking over to his couch and sitting since he’d never bothered to get a kitchen table.
“Okay, weirdo was playing a ukelele again” you plopped down, crossing your legs and looking over at the random dutch cooking program he had been watching from his station in the kitchen, “You speak dutch?” you asked, he chuckled and you weren’t sure at which statement.
“No, I don’t, I just watch, and I know what they’re doin’ by the look usually.” he came over, setting a beautiful plate of pasta in your lap and sitting down with the small pot he used for sauce, that he’d mixed the noodles in half hazardly and twirled some of the noodles on the fork, taking a bite.
Classic Carmy, serving you a Michelin Starred dish, and eating the leftover scraps.
That was the night you really fell for him. Especially after he did the same thing that he did the first time the two of you hooked up, put you first. Even if he didn’t want you to touch him, even if he was too shy to cuddle you before you fell asleep. You really felt your heart crack open for him.
The night of friends and family, though, you may as well have been a stranger. No matter what you did that night to get his attention, he fully ignored you and snapped at you, and everyone, to ‘pick up your fucking pace’. You had never had him snap at you like this. All you wanted to do was go joke around with Richie, maybe pull him into the dry storage for a quick makeout - but you couldn’t, not anymore. You missed him. You missed your old man, as much as he despised you calling him that, you adored the way he frowned and spanked you in response to the name, telling you ‘it’s already unfair when we go out they think y’my daughter’
When you had find out that Carmy had been locked in the freezer - your first instict was to rush to the back of house, comfort him- tell him it would all be fine, but you knew you couldn’t do that, and it would piss him off if you did so. You were his well kept secret, and he wanted you to stay that way. You had found out from Syd, who was really the only one to know about your short-lived relationship - since Carmy seemed to be more open with her then he did with you - his supposed girlfriend.
“He’s ok, he’s fine- look, just keep pace, ok, me and Richie will handle this - bring the plates from tinas station to table 11, ok?” she told you calmly, giving you a quick reassuring hug before whisking you off to do your job. You did as she said, putting on a smile and bringing the food out to the table, setting it down the way you’d been trained and telling them what was what before telling them to enjoy and heading back to the kitchen to pick up another round of food to bring out to an awaiting hungry group of patrons.
Three hours later, when the night was finally coming to a close- you decided it was a good time to go check on Carmy. All the guests had left, and it was just the staff at this point. You knew that the fire department was on the way since Richie had let everyone know they’d been called, and Syd was back there trying to calm him down. What you didn’t know, was Syd had told Carmy to hold on for a moment because she was gonna go tell her father goodbye and thank him for coming, so he had been left all alone in the back of house, in the freezer.
You walked in, hearing him rambling as you walk up, listening closely to what he was saying.
“Like- Like right? Right?” he chuckled a bit “W-what the fuck was I thinkin’? Huh? The fuck was I thinkin’, Syd? Like - Like I was gonna be in- “ he laughed a bit “In- i-in a relationship- er- er some shit? I-I’m a fuckin- a fuckin psycho- thats thats why, thats why I’m good at what I do, thats how I operate, Syd, you wanna be the best? I am the fucking best, because I didn’t have- any- any of this - this fuckin…bullshit! Right? I-I- I could focus, and I could concentrate, and I- I had a fuckin’ routine, an- and I had fuckin cell reception! An-” he paused. You felt your heart crack, tears filling your eyes,
You were bullshit to him.
He continued, “I dont need to provide amusement or enjoyment. I dont need to- to receive, any amusement- or - or enjoyment. Y’know? And I’m…I’m completely fine, with that. Because absolutely no amount of good, is worth how fuckin’ shitty this feels. S’just…a complete waste of my fucking time.”
You let out the sob you were holding back, gasping a breath, shaking your head and with a trembling voice, you say, “I’m really sorry you feel this way, Carmy…” before rushing out of the kitchen, hot tears running down your cheeks. You grab your bag from behind the counter, slamming into richie on the way out of the restaurant and he stopped you, grabbing your arm.
“Hey- hey kid” he said, and the soothing sound of his voice made you break down fully, starting to sob so hard you couldnt see straight, collapsing into his chest.
“I’m sorry- I’m so sorry for being so shitty- I- I dont deserve you” you cried, hugging him tightly, “I have-” you took a gasping breath and look up at him “I- i’m done- tell Carmy that I’m done here….” you let go of him and rush out, quickly walking towards the train station the wind whipping your wet cheeks. You pulled out your phone, calling Carmy to leave him a voicemail.
“Hey, uh…I don’t know why you fuckin’ asked me out- but uh- fuck you, carmy. Youre right- you deserve nothing- youre a coward, and an asshole. I hate you for making me love you” you hung up, shoving your phone in your pocket, not even caring the admission that slipped past your lips as you stomped up the stairs to the L platform.
Back at the restaurant, Richie storms into the kitchen, slamming his palm on the freezer door. “Yo- the fuck did you just do?” he asked, voice laced with anger.
“I-I don’know. I-I don’ know what the fuck she heard. Dunno” Carmy said, voice indifferent to the entire thing, which just made anger bubble in his chest at his lack of caring. Richie slams his hand into the door harder, making Carmy jump a bit.
“No- asshole, I said - the fuck did you just say, to that fuckin’ girl?” Richie repeated, getting louder now.
“Richie” Carmy said, sighing to himself.
“Richie? Richie What- Tell me! Tell me, What the fuck. What the fuck did you just say to that fuckin girl, Carmen”
“Will you just shut the FUCK UP AND GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE PLEASE!” Carmy shouts, not having any part of being scolded when his fingertips felt like ice.
“Oh- oh yeah, I’ll get y’the fuck outta there, Donna” Richie mocked, so angry he didnt care how deeply he cut in the moment.
“The fuck you just say t’me?” Carmy challanged
“I-” Richie sighed, knowing he just took things too far and dropped his head back in annoyance.
“N-no- Richie- What the fuck did you just say?” Carmy asks, louder this time, Pounding on the door when he didnt get a response.
“Yo- cousin, cousin look - I don’t know why you gotta fuck up everything good in your life. That girl is nice, shes a good fuckin friend t’you” Richie explained, completely oblivious to everything that had really been going on.
“Are you -” Carmen laughs “Are you fucking kidding me right now?!” he spits, the comparison to his mother causing fire to race through his veins.
“No- No i’m not, cousin, someones gotta tell you this shit, ‘eh? First fuckin friend after comin’ home you go ahead and make her cry?!” Richie scolded.
“FUCK YOU! Fuck you Richie!” Carmy yells, running his hands through his hair,
“Ohhh yea, here we go, fuck me, yeeeaaa Carm” he mocked him.
“Yeah! Yeah fuck you fuckin loser. You wouldn’t have shit without me. So fuck you!” carmy shouted at him, his breath coming out in large frosty puffs in front of him.
“Oh-” Richie chuckled, a twinge in his chest that Carmy was willing to cut so deep so quickly “Yeah- yeah tough guy” he mocked, voice getting meeker
“Yeah! Yeah! You- Or y’fuckin kid- fuckin loser - only reason you have anything is me!” Carmy roars, slamming on the door “so ye’ cousin, fuck you!”
“My KID? Y’gonna talk about my KID? Well at least I have a fuckin kid! What d’you have other then a restaurant, jackass!” he yelled back.
“YEAH? I HAVE THE GIRL YOU BEEN FUCKIN’ FOR THE PAST YEAR, MORON. Why you think she dropped you so fast? Huh? You fucking idiot! She chose me- so ye’. I am the reason you have what you have AND I’LL TAKE WHATEVER I FUCKING WANT. FUCK YOU” He yelled through the door, kicking it with his chefs clog.
Richies mouth dropped, stepping back and feeling as if he’d just been stabbed in the heart. “What?” he said, believing his ears were playing tricks on him, how could Carmy do such a thing to him?
“Yeah- yeah. She chose me, and guess what, I fucked her because i wanted to show you I could. Y’fuckin prick” he sat down on one of the boxes of frozen steaks, rubbing over his face roughly. Richie raced out of the kitchen, telling Syd he was ‘done’ and quickly taking out his phone to call you.
Back in the freezer, Carmens phone buzzed. He looked at it, seeing a voicemail from you that finally pushed through. When he heard your sad, broken voice, admit that he’d caused you to hate him by his behaviour made him chuck his phone against the freezer wall so hard that the screen shattered.
Never so badly had he ever fucked up, and by doing so he lost the best thing to ever happen to him.
#Capri 200 follower celebration#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen x reader#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto#the bear fx#carmy berzatto#the bear fic#the bear#the bear hulu#carmen berzatto fanfiction#the bear fanfiction#carmy berzatto fanfiction#carmen berzatto fluff#the bear carmen#carmen berzatto blurb#carmen berzatto smut#carmy berzatto smut#carmy the bear#carmy x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy#carmy x you#carmy smut#carmy x fem!reader#carmen berzatto the bear fanfiction#carmen berzatto the bear#borders & banners by saradika#richie jerimovich x you#richie jerimovich
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Scoops! (Part 7-- Epilogue)
Whew! Finally done! I have a lot of notes on this story at the end on my AO3, but I think for tumblr, the less clutter the better. It was honestly such a rush writing this, and everyone who's been reading from the start, thanks for sticking with me this past... *checks timestamps* Month. Jesus. I must have been possessed or something. For those of you who are just seeing this story now, congrats! You can start back at the beginning and not get screwed over by my cliffhangers!
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Read it on AO3 here!
----
It had been about three hours. Clark was still in his full Superman uniform, but oddly he wasn’t doing his usual ‘majestic hover looking over the city.’ Instead, he was sitting on the edge of Lois’s apartment building, elbows resting on his knees, like a big kid. Lois huffed and pushed her scarf up under her chin as she elbowed her way out of the stairwell, stuffing her hands under her armpits for warmth in the quickly fading daylight. A small radio was playing next to him.
“…Officer Maxwell Jensen, one of the newest recruits to the Metropolis Police Department’s Special Crimes Unit, was killed today while attempting to stop unidentified terrorists from stealing the remains of Anthony Ivo’s Parasite suit husk from downtown. While there are conflicting accounts, the terrorists seemed to be in possession of technology similar to that used in Metropolis’s recent string of crimes. Federal sources have assured WGBS that the Parasite suit was destroyed in the ensuing conflict, and that they will be continuing to monitor the situation. In light of these events, Police Commissioner Bill Henderson is in talks to expand the SCU’s budget—”
Lois turned off the radio next to him, forcing him to blink and snap out of his haze.
“How’d it go?” she folded her arms.
“It… wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. But like, three different people told me I needed to go lay down.”
“You do,” said Lois, plainly.
Clark scratched at his temple with a fingernail, “I look that rough, huh?”
“You do,” said Lois, more intensely.
“I know, I just… I kind of needed it,” Clark spoke absently, before looking at his hands, “I—I needed to be sure they were back. I needed to do something that wasn’t… punching a robot or getting thrown through a wall.”
“I know,” said Lois, softly.
“And I was going to come inside, but I needed to think,” said Clark, “Just for a minute.”
“I know,” Lois said again, now beginning to feel a bit ridiculous at how much she was repeating herself, but Clark tended to keep things wrapped up tight inside of himself, when he talked like this, she found it was easier to gently lead him along and let him unspool it on his own. It took her a while to figure that out, and it was partially something she had to learn by watching Jimmy. It also took Clark a while to learn, too, that for all his invulnerability, he wasn’t nearly as good at hiding when something affected him as he thought he was—at least when it came to the people that loved him.
Both were quiet, but Lois shuddered as another cold wind blew through.
“Cold?” said Clark.
“I’m fine,” she said to him, trying to push a bit of lightheartedness into her voice, “I keep thinking you need a winter version of that suit. Aren’t you cold? Or is the invulnerability to cold, too?”
“I get colder when I’m tired,” Clark wasn’t looking at her, “At night, too. I’m colder at night.” He seemed to perk up slightly, and a beat of silence hung between them. He glanced over at her.
“What?” she tilted her head.
“Oh—-just… as soon as I said that, I thought you were going to hit me with something like ‘At night, huh?’ And you’d do your little eyebrow thing. And I’d turn into a stammering idiot, as usual, and—now that I’m saying it I realize that’s a really dumb expectation to have, but I mean you are funny, you’d just have something smarter to say than that but—” he caught himself and trailed off, “Sorry. It’s been a weird day.”
“Weird day,” Lois repeated. So much for gentle, patient, unspooling. She took a long steady inhale through her nostrils. “Okay, no, you know what? You’re not doing this.”
“Not doing what?” said Clark.
“You’re not going to just… shrug off something that was clearly traumatic.”
“I’m not shrugging off anything—”
“Clark, you had a shock collar put on you.”
“I know.”
“By me.”
“But she wasn’t you—” Clark started and then seemed to catch himself. “Oh—” ‘I know what this is about’ rippled across his features and his face dropped, “Oh god, Lois, I’m so sorry.”
“No-no-no-no, you aren’t making this about me,” Lois’s voice was going thick.
“But I know what you’re going through right now—” Clark started.
“What I’m going through is seeing you hurt!”
“But it’s not just that, is it?”
Lois stared at him, mouth hanging open but jaw tensed, furious at those big soft sky-blue eyes of his. No, you don’t get to do this. No, I’m not the one to be saved, here. But god, it still came pouring out of her.
“I just—I just hate it!” Her breath was short, “I love you and I can’t stand seeing me hurt you! I can’t stand hearing them talk about you like—like you’re a weapon or an animal with my voice! I would never—Okay I know I was trying to teach you some sparring moves before this but I would never—!”
“It’s okay, I know, I trust you,” Clark put his hands on the outsides of her arms. Always so fucking careful with her.
“And I’m upset because you should be more upset about it!” Her breath shuddered for a second but she inhaled sharply, not letting that turn into a sob, not letting whatever levy was holding the tears back break, “I know how much it hurts you when people are scared of you like that.”
His grip on her arms instinctively slackened at that, and he glanced down. “Okay… you’re… not wrong about that,” he took his own steadying breath, “But… look, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with people like that, and I really doubt it’s going to be the last, so—”
“And she laser-blasted you!”
“Lois,” he gently touched the corner of her jaw, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but this wasn’t the first time I’ve been shot by an alternate universe version of you.”
Lois’s eyes went wide and one corner of her mouth twitched.
“I mean it’s not fun, or anything, obviously,” Clark pulled his hands away from her and went on, his feet drifting off the ground—sometimes he floated when his mind was particularly occupied, she noticed, “It’s definitely not something I would ever want to go through again, but… it’s less of a shock the second time?”
“Claaark—!” Lois blurted out, distressed.
“Okay, that’s not really the point I wanted to make,” Clark ran a hand through his hair with a frustrated huff before his eyes met hers again, “What I’m saying is… I love you too, and no evil alternate version of you is going to change the way I feel about you. And in a weird way, it’s kind of a relief knowing there is an evil ‘you’ out there. Or at least a morally ambiguous antihero ‘you.’”
“What?” said Lois.
“I mean…” Clark drifted away from her, out over the edge of the building, folding his arms over his chest and staring out over the city. It was a strange moment where Lois was more starkly aware of the vast void of the street beneath him, rather than the fact that he was currently defying gravity. “I saw all those evil me’s. All those versions of Superman as this… force of terror and destruction. I still hate the thought of it…” His eyes flicked to hers, “Probably as much as you hate seeing that version of yourself. But it helped me realize, you don’t need powers to hurt people. I know my powers make me different, but they don’t make me… that. It all comes down to the choices we make and how our world shapes us, and I think seeing that version of you really helped me see that.”
Lois’s lips pressed thin.
“And… it just makes me realize how lucky I am to be in this universe with you,” he said, his eyes softening as a small smile lit up his features. He floated toward her again before finally letting his feet touch on the ground in front of her. Lois just stared up at him for a few seconds before making an exhausted groan and pretty much thumping her forehead onto the shield crest on his chest.
“Hey,” Clark cupped his hands at her jaw and kissed her forehead, “It’s okay.”
She looked up at him. Her hand went up to the red welts and Lichtenberg figures at his throat from the collar, hovering over the skin. He had a broken blood vessel in one eye, a splotch of red angrily snarling around big soft blue—whether it was from the repeated electrocutions of the Spider Lady, or the fight with Amazo, neither of them was sure. He gently brought up his own hand over hers, pressing her hand against his neck.
“I’m okay,” he said, before enveloping her in a hug, unthinkingly floating them both off the ground as he did so. He took her hand in his, studying her split knuckles. “Are you okay?” His eyes met hers again.
She stared at him for a few seconds. “No,” she said quietly, glancing down, “I just keep… seeing her. Seeing me. The way she didn’t even blink when you were twisting like that and—and I just…” her hand squeezed his, those scabs on her knuckles straining, threatening to bleed again in the cold, dry air. A short, forced chuckle fell out of her. “So, does the invulnerability help you with that? Does your brain…?” The question trailed off. One of those things that started in lightheartedness and then collapsed in on itself as she realized she really didn’t know.
“…I’ve been getting nightmares,” Clark said quietly, and Lois’s head jerked up to look at him, “Between what I saw on the file, and what your dad showed me about Zero Day I…I’ve been getting them for a while. I’m sorry. I should have told you, but… I was scared. And I didn’t want to scare you. And I’m scared of how angry it makes me, knowing there are me’s like that out there. And I’m scared the more I think about it…” he trailed off. How many more times could he say the word ‘scared’ before it lost all meaning?
“So what you’re saying is… you’re not okay,” said Lois, raising her eyebrows at him.
Clark set his jaw nervously for a moment before huffing out a breath. “Yeah. I guess so. I mean… I’m not.”
A few long seconds passed between them before Lois smushed her cheek against his chest again. “How did you know her bracelet would short out the collar?”
“I didn’t,” said Clark, “I mean, I knew it shocked, but… I wasn’t sure. If it didn’t work, I hoped maybe it would distract her enough to…”
“You were counting on me?” Lois’s eyebrows raised.
“Kind of? Really, I was mostly counting on shorting the collar out, but I mean, you do actually have more formal hand-to-hand combat training than me. But also I was operating under a lot of electroshocks and a blow to the head at the time so…”
“Ugh, I thought it was my job to do the stupid stunts,” her voice was half muffled against his chest.
A short, soft chuckle escaped him. “Hey, I’m the one who keeps coming at people completely sheeted forward in a fight.”
“You do have to work on that!” she stuck her chin up at him defiantly. He just gave her an ‘I know’ smile, and she furrowed her brow, before pulling herself up, first kissing him on the jaw, then the mouth. He met her softly, feeling her fingers weave into his hair as the kiss deepened, feeling those fingers tense, almost pulling, almost. A little flare of need in the way her mouth pressed against his, that little grip of ‘mine.’
My Clark.
He held her closer to him as well, arms cradling and carefully tightening around her, trying to push out all the memory of the pain of electrical shocks and impact of weaponry and punches and kryptonite from the day, trying to replace it with the sensation of her body pressed against his. Replace the blunt, heavy pain with the weight of her in his arms, replace the sharpness and suffocation of kryptonite with her warmth. He could still kind of feel those hits from the fight, in the way you could still feel the sensation of the ocean after throwing yourself bodily into the waves for hours. He knew he and Jimmy would have to sit her down and talk to her about the Kryptonite at the League headquarters, but it would at least be easier with Jimmy backing him up… or maybe they would both team up on him with ‘Seriously, Clark, that was insane and you nearly died, you can’t keep doing stuff like that’ which was… also fair. He didn’t need to worry about that for now, though. Now was just softness, and super-hearing picking up her heartbeat, the rhythm of it against his own chest, and the sky tinging lilac and periwinkle, and—did she just shiver again? Her lips broke from his. “You can work on it later, though…” she murmured.
“What do you think…?” said Clark, as she leaned her head on his shoulder, the exhaustion of the day soaking in, “Takeout and that period piece we’ve been meaning to see that you know neither of us is going to stay awake for?”
“Mm…” Lois looked off, “Maybe we should check on Jimmy. I mean… he… ”
“Lost his drone, which got turned into robot god by evil you, and then got sent to another dimension,” said Clark, talking through the events and realizing there was no way you could summarize them without sounding insane.
“Yeah…” said Lois.
“I texted him, but he hasn’t really gotten back to me for a couple hours now,” Clark shrugged.
“…he’s not making another Scoops already, is he?” Lois arched an eyebrow.
“I dunno,” Clark shrugged.
Lois stared at him for a few seconds before giving him another pecking kiss on the cheek. “Let’s get you inside, Smallville.”
———
“It’s with an ‘A?’” Jimmy was staring at the side of the decaf chestnut mocha where Jalana’s name was scribbled, “I thought it was spelled with an ‘E.’ Like jalapeño. The ‘A’ makes you think it should be pronounced ‘Jalahna.’”
“Still better than Jimberly,” said Jalana, taking the cup from him.
Jimmy gasped. “Who told you?!”
She just gave him a lopsided smile and he said, “Right, duh,” as he grabbed his own cinnamon cayenne hot cocoa order from the counter. They stepped out from the coffee shop into a cold night on Metropolis’s streets. Jimmy was staring up at the sky, Metropolis’s light pollution and the clouds of a winter sky obscuring the stars.
“…thinking about Scoops?” Jalana stepped next to him.
“Yeah…” Jimmy said quietly. He looked at his cup for a minute. “I saw.. a lot of different Amazos looking through the League computer. But uh… jeez, if you guys were worried about Clark turning evil…”
“But this Amazo was made by you, not Ivo,” said Jalana, as they both started walking down the street.
“I know, but I’m not anywhere near Ivo’s level, heck I was literally just using hardware he made… but I hope… I hope the fact that it was me makes a difference for him,” Jimmy rolled the grip of his fingers on his cup before taking a long sip, sugar and chocolate and spice and warmth going right to his heart and brain. His breath fogged out of him.
“We are going to be monitoring the situation,” said Jalana, “We don’t want to do anything to provoke the Spider Lady or the Android, but obviously introducing such a powerful entity to an already unstable universe warrants observation.”
“Think some of those reports can find their way into Flamebird?” Jimmy quirked an eyebrow.
“If I hear anything about your baby, you’ll be the first to know,” said Jalana, elbowing him.
“Oh god that’s too weird to think about now,” said Jimmy.
“You did make it,” said Jalana.
“I made an orb…drone thing. Sure, the orb can be a baby, but I can’t really call an 8-foot-tall sentient parasite suit that now weirdly has my best friend’s voice coming out of it a ‘baby.'”
“Everyone says that when they become a father,” said Jalana, sagely.
“Literally no one says that,” said Jimmy.
Jalana just smirked and sipped her own drink.
“Think they can actually pull it off?” asked Jimmy, “Stabilizing their universe, I mean.”
“I don’t know,” said Jalana, “I mean, I’ve seen loads of Lois Lanes save their universes. Hell, I’m in the organization of ‘Lois Lanes who save the multiverse.’ But Earth 19-Y is pretty far gone. At the very least, it’ll keep them both busy for a while, which is good for the whole multiverse.” They took a turn into Centennial Park, the grass on either side of them was frosted and snowflakes were starting to fall, getting caught in the soft glow of the lampposts.
“So, any other universes where I’m a villain?” asked Jimmy, “Just… I figure we should cover our bases here.”
“A couple,” Jalana shrugged, “None for you to really worry about, though.” She paused, smiling a little. ”There’s one where we’re a giant turtle kaiju,”
“Really!?” Jimmy’s face lit up.
“But honestly, a lot of the time we’re more likely to be dead than villains. Olsens get killed off in a lot of universes,”
“Wow…” Jimmy stared off into the distance, “The multiverse is racist.”
“Jimmy, we aren’t black in every universe.”
Jimmy gave her a skeptical side-eye.
“I literally just told you there’s a universe where you’re a giant turt—You know what? Never mind,” Jalana sipped her mocha, “It’s one of the things you have to get used to, in the League, the concept of being dead in another universe, the hole you leave. You can’t really take it personally.”
“…maybe you guys should start taking it personally,” said Jimmy.
“What?” said Jalana.
“Well, the Spider Lady said that you guys were basically using her universe as a petri dish. And… from what I saw of your archives, even if you guys were stopping big inter-dimensional criminals, you still needed her universe to be horrible and miserable so it could act as a kind of… multiverse barometer for you to track the movement of inter-dimensional contraband. Her universe was messed up by stuff that was well beyond her control, and you guys didn’t do anything to un-mess it, even though you definitely had the means. Is that right?”
Jalana looked stunned. “I mean I don’t decide the policy—“
“Jalana…”
“…yeah,” said Jalana after a few seconds, “You’re right. We didn’t.”
“How many universes were made better by having all their nastiness dumped into hers?”
“A lot…” said Jalana, and then, “Enough,” but her mouth pulled into a grimace. “Look, it wasn’t that easy. How are you supposed to tell the people from the Hell-Worm universe, ‘Oh hey, I know you’re all celebrating the fact that you no longer have Hell-Worms, but uh-oh, it turns out your Hell-Worms were just beamed to a different universe by a bad guy and we have to put them back now?’ So you… you don’t take it personally.” She was wincing at her own words.
“That doesn’t stop the people in their own universes from taking it personally,” said Jimmy.
“No.. it doesn’t,” said Jalana.
“…do you think it’s going to be like that for us?” Jimmy’s voice went oddly level.
“What?” Said Jalana.
“I mean, me, and Clark, and Lois,” said Jimmy, “There’s still so much we don’t know about what Clark can do, and I know it scares him. But he wants to help, and he’s going to do more, and more. The problems are going to get bigger. The world is going to get bigger. We already have to tell him he can’t do everything just in this city for his own sake, but what if we become like the League? Letting whole universes suffer for what we think is the greater good? Destroying things for what they could become, rather than just seeing them for what they are?”
Jalana weighed his words for a few seconds. “I think… as long as you do worry about that, you don’t have to worry about it, do you know what I mean? When you stop worrying about it…that’s when you should be worried.”
“Probably going to have to come up with a better system than that,” said Jimmy, “I mean we could worry about it while still doing it, is the thing.”
“Yeah,” said Jalana, sipping her drink, “…it should probably be a bigger red flag for me that one of your big fears for your universe is ending up like us, huh?”
“I mean, yeah, you had all that ‘Evil Superman’ footage, but end of the day, for our Clark, you guys shot first.”
“Mm,” Jalana just sullenly sipped at her drink again.
“Well you didn’t,” Jimmy corrected himself, “Are you still going to stick with the League? That’s twice, or like, five times you’ve helped us now. Are you going to get like, interdimensional-court-martialed?
“Lanes need Olsens,” Jalana shrugged, “If there’s one consistent thing I’ve seen for Jimmies and Jalanas and Jaimes and Gemmas and Yakovs across the multiverse, it’s that, at our best, we keep our friends grounded. We remind the world of what really matters. Hopefully what happened with the Spider Lady will be a wake-up call, but if it isn’t…” she stirred the ice in her drink, “Either way, I have work to do with the League. Speaking of which,” she held her hand out expectantly.
“What?” Jimmy said innocently.
“Flamebird to Flamebird, don’t bullshit me,” said Jalana flatly, “I want to be able to write down that you were compliant in the report.”
Jimmy sighed, “Fine,” he said, fishing the Spider Lady’s inter-dimensional burn hole projector out of his jacket pocket and handing it over, “You don’t know if I was actually going to use it.”
“Sure I do,” said Jalana, pocketing it.
“…Is Yakov the turtle kaiju Jimmy?” Jimmy asked after a few seconds.
“No, Yakov Olsenovich is a ballerino.”
“I'm a ballerino!?”
——
It was a miracle Earth 19-Y was still holding together. Literally. To its credit, the disastrous warping of its magnetic field lent itself to beautiful auroras glittering across a furious dark red sky, but also resulted in phenomena could only be described as ‘mass migratory bird suicides’ and ‘lightning that goes the wrong way,’ among others. The constant rain of debris burning up in its atmosphere made every night a dread-filled spectacular meteor shower, which was its own strange consolation prize for stars that were no longer visible.
A pale blue portal opened several hundred feet above a troubled ocean, and Amazo hovered out. The Android was no longer holding the Spider Lady by her jacket like a scruffed kitten, but rather carrying her bridal style as she kept her arms furiously folded across her chest and simmered in its arms. Amazo’s blank orange eyes surveyed its surroundings. It saw churning seas that had all but devoured every soft edge of a beach and now snapped and battered violently at crumbling cliffs at every shoreline. It saw the distant fires of rockets and anti-missile defense systems blinking and blooming against dark horizons.
“…it’s best not to stay in the open like this too long,” said the Spider Lady, looking at the seething, spraying waters below them. She squinted into the distance and made out a sad scribble of a skyline. “There,” she pointed, “Take us over there.” Amazo glanced down as she took in a breath as if steeling herself.
“Why there, Miss Lane?” Amazo tilted its head.
“It’s home,” the Spider Lady’s voice was barely audible over the roar of waves below.
Amazo seemed to process her words for a second, before taking off in that direction. She tightened in the android’s arms in the ensuing blast of wind and spray of water, tucking her chin against her collarbone and squeezing her eyes shut. In a sense she had succeeded, she had gotten Amazo, brought the Android back to her world, but she was still coming back to a world without her Jimmy. The world she had left to save would now be her prison, and the weapon she had sought to save it with, her warden. She lifted her chin to glare up at Amazo, who was staring blankly ahead as it flew. Stupid robot, she thought darkly.
The Metropolis of her world was not the clean art deco lines and gleaming elevated trains of the Metropolis of Earth 12-M, but a twisted and burned shadow of it. Even the great ringed celestial sphere sculpture topping the Daily Planet building was a warped and crumpled crescent, like something had taken a bite out of it. Amazo chose that as the landmark to touch down on.
Amazo had barely assumed a stable standing position on the Daily Planet’s roof when the Spider Lady furiously flapped an arm in the Android’s face, her legs trying to flail out of its grip. “Down. Put me down.”
The android all but dropped her and she stumbled a few steps away from him to regain her balance. Her head was still pounding and her body ached all over from the beating that other Lois had given her, and actually standing on her own two feet gave her a chance to finally assess the damage that had been done. Her head was swimming from equal parts exhaustion, not eating, and the welts and bruises she could feel making their presence known as the adrenaline of everything faded. The Spider Lady swept her hands down the front of her dress with distaste before looking around, her shoulders visibly slumping. “Shithole, sweet shithole,” she said, softly, looking around the ruined Metropolis.
Amazo was silent behind her, a golden sentinel, what should have been her ultimate weapon now turned to… she didn’t know what. A hero, if all the morons one world back could be believed, but she knew better than that. Across so many worlds, Amazo, too, was a force of fear and destruction. It would be safer as a weapon. Sentience? The ability to make its own choices? No, she couldn’t trust that at all. She put her hands on her hips and puffed out a breath.
“All right, Golden Boy,” she said, “Let’s get one thing straight: Without me you’d still be a glorified camera orb floating around in the happy-go-lucky rom-com ‘Oh no, killing is bad’ universe. So I expect to be treated with a little respect if we’re both going to be stuck here.”
“I do not see how showing you disrespect would benefit the current situation,” said Amazo.
“Ugh, how much of that Clark did you absorb?”
“I do not absorb, I duplicate. Though, I can understand the confusion, seeing as the exterior of this chassis was previously the Parasite of Earth 12-M.”
The Spider Lady dragged a hand down her face with barely contained rage. Amazo looked out towards the horizon.
“I was made to save this universe,” said Amazo, like it hadn’t been saying that this whole damn time, “I anticipated dire conditions, but it is clear there are multiple crises happening both independently and interdependently.”
“What, were you thinking you’d just… take care of it all in one go? Fly around the world really fast? Turn back time? No, it doesn’t work like that.. this world is broken forwards and backwards.”
“I see…” Amazo said slowly.
“Where do you want to start?” said the Spider Lady, “The Marianas trench fish man invasion? The giant living metal engine city that’s grown over the smoking crater that used to be L.A. County? That one psychic who’s possessed the entire British Isles and will likely kill everyone if he has an aneurysm which could happen in the next few hours? The Hell-Worms? Take your pick. You can pretty much chuck a rock anywhere and there’s something to do.”
“What is causing the disruption in this earth’s magnetic field?” Amazo asked after a few seconds, looking up.
“Oh, that?” The Spider Lady chewed her thumbnail, “That was a failed doomsday device from some other dimension from a few years ago. It’s still stuck in our core. Apparently it didn’t work on our earth because it was meant for another planet and…” she flapped a hand, “Iiii don’t think you should start with that. You only have the Kryptonian’s powers. And you’d have to go to the planet’s core and like… get it spinning again? Jimmy knew more about it than me…” she trailed off quietly, then suddenly perked up, “Oh you know what? I’m pretty sure that lava monster is still attacking Iceland. Actually, we probably don’t have an Iceland any more but the lava monster’s definitely still there. Go beat that thing up, get its powers, and then you can go to the earth’s core.”
“An adequate strategy.” Amazo mused, floating off the ground slightly, “Thank you, Miss Lane.”
“Psh. You would have figured it out on your own, probably,” the Spider Lady shrugged.
“It is my understanding that many universes have collapsed in the absence of their respective Lois Lanes,” said Amazo, solemnly, “Do not underestimate your importance to this one.”
A blush crept up the Spider Lady’s cheeks—or maybe it was just all the broken blood vessels from all the punches. Yeah, that had to be it.
“Eh—” the Spider Lady’s breath caught in her throat for a second before she shook her head and then barked, “D-didn’t I tell you to go beat up that lava monster!? What are you doing floating there, for!? Hop to it, Golden Boy!”
Amazo gave her a single, acquiescent nod that send another flush of heat up the back of her neck, then took off, leaving the Spider Lady on the roof of the ruined Daily Planet. “Stupid robot…” she muttered under her breath, fidgeting with her hair.
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How would ben and Peter first finding out about oliver go?
So like discovering Oliver for first time? Hmmm (if i misunderstood really sorry! I am not english 😔🙏)
Three clone spiders, one tiny spider
Warnings: None, just fluff
Clearly Kaine didn't want about give information about his private life with his big partner, his home although was hard because well unfortunately he was homeless in first part but all is fixed and good now. It was like around six weeks (more than a month) after his first biological little son was born, Oliver Parker, so tiny, weak, just so adorable, small and soft dark hair and sleepy eyes closed. Welp seems like the little one carries more genes from his mom but it doesn't really matter. Who would think a baby could belong also the both universes? Marlette and Kaine's at same time, Miguel would freak out discover this but let's just not focus about that for now.
It was very unexpected that Kaine and Marlette apart being a couple, aswell having an "adventure" that ended spawning a new life. Yes Kaine was very unsure and anxious about that because double responsability? Yeah he can handle Aracely well but a own biological son? Mostly apart of double responsabilities is also aswell the fact they being two different worlds which make a life there would be impossible. But nuh-uh, nothing is impossible, difficult yes, but impossible? Nope.
But anyways, by that when their son was born, it made both rough and big spiders be very closed and reserved, of course is logic, is first time they were parents, but seems Kaine's side of being a fierce and violent arachnid became now a big soft gentle, actually he was the one behaving like a mom to lil Ollie, always watching him, hugging him, even feed him, Marlette needed rest but geez all the baby attention was only for him but don't worry at the finale there was a balance now.
Meanwhile the both spider clones would play Uno at the roof from a random house which was near to Kaine's home.
"Uno."
"The fuck Peter!? Dude you had like eight cards a few minutes ago!"
"Uhhh i don't know what do you mean but is still uno."
"Huh! Okay then take this! +2!"
Peter giggled and pulled out a +4 card. Ben gasped.
"CHEATER!"
Ben got up aswell Peter who actually he was sitting on the other cards! What a cheater! Then they both ran around and went swinging off. Geez, all is true, they behave exactly like kids even they are being more of their 20's.
As then they arrived to their bigger clone sibling, they landed on the window and both knocked at the same time.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
Kaine heard the noises and then quickly went where the sound was from, he sighed as he saw them.
"Damn it you two can you just wait!?"
He opened the window, the two entered and hugged him like happy excited puppies, Kaine rolled his eyes.
"Yeah yeah i missed you two, but seriously can you just let me know when ya'll come?"
"Well i mean if you are not too slow at phone technology-"
"Peter, i am not those old men who doesn't know anything, i know the basic, or at least more because well, futuristic partner y'know."
"Mmmmm, yeaaah, of course."
Ben giggled and then looked around curiously.
"And Marlette? Where's our big lady?"
"Yeah where's that big boss mare? I say that because since you rode a horse well then- OW-"
Peter's joke was interrupted when Kaine slapped his head.
"My girlfriend is not an animal you fool. And she went to buy things."
"Uhm, i mean technically we all- We all are spiders sooo-"
"But not that animal for god's sake-"
Kaine's interrupting karma just came when a loud cry would appear, which he quickly went to his bedroom for check, closing the door but not completely.
"Wait why's there a baby cry- WAIT."
Ben gasped and then he carefully went to see, not opening the door just take a quick sneak peek. His light brown eyes widened as he saw Kaine gently picking up a newborn baby.
"Motherfucker didn't tell us about his baby!"
"What!? Let me see-"
Accidentally Peter's rush made Ben and also himself fall, by but the door opened and it caused Kaine flinch a bit and quickly growl, brown eyes becoming reddish now.
"AH SORRY SORRY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT- . . . Ayo?"
They both said at the same time and same phrase as their attention snapped by the crying baby, Kaine growled more but by the cries he began to calm him down.
"Kaine...? Is that...?"
Ben slowly and curiously walked to him, looking at the tiny baby, he gasped.
"Oh god is him! Why you didn't tell us she gave birth!? Dude got worried!"
Peter joined and his eyes shinned.
"Maaan, is that your baby...?"
"Mhm. He was born weeks ago just uh, more than a month kinda."
"WE ARE UNCLES NOW! YAY!"
"Wait, he has darker hair, and..."
Peter looked at the baby's eyes which were a dark and dull blue.
". . . Man did you really made him? I don't see a trait from you-"
"Obviously i made him, most likely my traits will show when he gets older."
"More like you cloned your lady into a boy! Bahahaha!"
Peter laughed at his own bad joke again, well Ben giggled while Kaine just silent. Oliver stopped to cry and looked at his uncles with a cute grumpy face.
"Awww!! At least has your grumpy face! Let me pick him please!"
"But careful, if he falls from you i'mma kill you."
Kaine hissed, geez protective "mom" mode. Ben nodded and gulped. Then he gave Oliver, Ben gently held him.
"Aweee! Who's the little nephew of Uncle Ben? Yes youuu! You are tiny baby!"
Ben nuzzled Oliver who grunted and "bit" his nose, god that's so adorable, Ben would indeed just explode of happiness. While Peter sighed as "Uncle Ben" mentioned, but then he joined.
"Alright Golden Retriever, gimme the kid."
"NO."
"I am uncle too! So give me!"
Ben sighed and then gave the infant to Peter who gently took him and rocking him.
"Look at you! Guess you... What's his name?"
"Oliver, Oliver Parker."
"WOOO ANOTHER PARKER!"
"Ben you are Reilly."
"Shut!"
"Anyways, Kaine, is that me or this little grumpy dooby is... A bit smaller than an average baby?"
"He was born like 3 cm less than an average baby, but yes sadly he was born a bit underweight but, not our fault, guess is just by universe shit or i don't know. We are feeding him almost every three hours for get the nutrients."
Kaine explained. Peter nodded and looked at Oliver who made another grumpy grunt.
"Ahh, needs the double of nutrients? Well not is by the "cross-universe" child thing because can just happen."
Peter shrugged while then he gave Oliver back to his father, Kaine who hugged him and kissed his small forehead.
"I thought that he will look like me."
"Dude, we were from machines and stuff like that. Plus your golden hair is not natural."
"Well true i forgot-"
"Is that fine when he grows we can take him to some places like parks and such? I mean we are PARK-ers."
Kaine inhaled by the horrible joke Peter made, he won't imagine him as dad too, bad dad jokes raining most likely.
"Depends, i won't put in risk my little boy, but at least Aracely can care of him if we are busy, i'll just think."
He went to the sofa and sat down, yawning and putting the baby on his chest who laid down there and yawned aswell, Oliver always loved sleep on his parents' chests by the warmth.
Ben and Peter looked at each other, then they smiling sat next Kaine and then leaned on his both shoulders, watching the little spider.
Three spiders, one little spider, wondering how chaotic this kid can be.
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4/3/23
I'm gonna level here, tonight was rough. I had a few legit panic attacks. Not big ones, but... surreal ones. And I'm still trying to calm myself down.
It's just living in an environment that feels unsafe. Even though my building feels safe, and my apartment feels safe... my neighborhood doesn't. To me, at least. This is clearly a theme, and I'm guessing it's residual from yesterday.
This was set off by watching a stream. I had been avoiding this streamer for a while because he is notoriously antagonistic, like... it's his thing. He was on Jerry fucking Springer. Like... it's his thing. And I knew that. And I watched in the background while doing work, and while eating dinner... for... like over 7 hours. And a lot of it was like... laugh-out-loud funny. I mean that. It was sincerely entertaining.
But there were parts that just set off panic bells. Like... he mentioned a part about like being in a "bad neighborhood" and explaining how that was because the neighborhood was in the flight path of an airport... and... I live in the flightpath of an airport, I woke up to planes flying overhead again today. There were like 2 or 3 moments like that which built up and just... created this really surreal feeling... Like... "it's really not safe out there". And again, it wasn't a feeling of vivid clarity or specificity, it was a feeling of intensity, surreality and gravity.
I guess that's my disorder. I guess that's me getting triggered by key concepts, key words even, and then those concepts/words get associated reflexively with other concepts, then my autonomic alarm system kicks in and goes "I know what that is, that exists in our life, DANGER" and kicks the panic switch. It felt a lot like my weed freakouts do, just a super mild version. It was a big surge of "you're not safe, you're in a bad area and you're alone, you're in danger".
Now... looking back at it? It looks fucking silly. Like... I'm in my electronically locked apartment, in an electronically locked building. The area I live in barely even qualifies as urban, honestly. I'm clearly not in any imminent danger. But... it hits just like I am. It took me a while to get out of it. The intensity of it faded pretty quick, but... it was around like 1 or 2, and it's almost 4:30 now and shades of it are still lingering... Like that feeling of being in a haunted house, feeling like I'm being watched or something. High alert.
When I saw the doctor the other day and mentioned that I deal with depression, anxiety, PTSD and that I'm kinda in a bit of a bout of agoraphobia right now... his first response was starting to tell me about how social interaction was a basic human need, and I was just like... "dude, I know..." Like, I actually got a bit impatient with him. I am fucking aware. To me, at the time, that was like telling me "you know, food is really important for your health..." I have been telling my therapists that for like 4 years now. Weird how I can be in therapy with 3 different therapists and not a single one until this month could figure out a single idea of how I could make friends that was within my comfort zone. With all the fucking technology we have now! Meh, they probably don't have a lot of friends themselves, now that I think about it...
Wow, I got super bitter there for a minute, huh... Ugh.
What the doctor said to me stuck with me because it's absolutely true, and my anger about it is (to me at least) very clearly not directed at him at all. I'm actually super relieved that he is on the same page, like "thank fucking god, finally". I'm pissed that there's like... literally nothing I can do about that. I can't make people hang out with me. I can't make people that I was friends with... not be pieces of shit to me.
And, right now at least, I just don't really feel comfortable meeting people in person. ... I guess? I mean, I met the kids at the skateshop the other day and had zero problems... I went to the skatepark and didn't meet anyone or talk to anyone really... but I had headphones in, so... it's not like I was being super approachable... and they were all like 10+ years younger than me, it's not like it's normal for them to just come up and approach me without a reason, I guess. And vice versa, it just feels weird for some reason. I don't wanna weird them out.
Ugh, anxiety fucking everywhere tonight!
Seriously, its like... the dam cracks and everything starts flowing out. Honestly, what I was thinking with what the doctor said... I really wish I had a friend to just talk shit out with. To just get my anxieties out of my head and hear some unbiased perspective. Because when I'm left alone with my own creative thought, it can just spiral into "what if" for hours. And if I were watching that stream, and just turned to my imaginary girlfriend who, in this magical scenario, actually exists... and went "hey, I'm kinda freaking out a little... this whole stream is about like... crime and being in a bad neighborhood and it's feeling really familiar, and I feel like I made a big mistake moving here, and really it's just a matter of time before something bad like what I'm watching happens to me. Getting scammed, getting robbed, me going to the police and then having people nearby know I went to the police and fucking me up because of it or something." And then we'd talk about it. Talk about like... how likely is that to happen around here? If it did happen, what would we do? Shit like that. Comfort. Reassurance. Not being fucking alone in everything I do.
Anyone who dreams of independence? Who worships and praises it. Independence is fucking easy. Get up, throw your phone in the garbage and start walking in a direction and don't stop, don't turn back. Then you're independent. Congrats. Independent = alone. And yes, it has its "freedoms". Absolutely. Your actions do not affect others. You are free to make as many foolish mistakes as you please and the consequences will fall solely on your lap. And the responsibility for learning from that folly and cleaning up the mess will fall right on your shoulders. And there will be no one to help you through any part of the process. Weird how every person I have met that has thumped the Independence Bible, while shaming me for my "reliance on others" never had the balls to just... walk.
I don't like how upset I'm getting. It feels like an emotional push away from... depression. Like I'm getting upset so that I'm actually doing something about it (even though I'm not), rather than getting sad and depressed. Like... honestly? I feel lame. I feel like a wuss. I didn't talk about fears like this for like 20 years because of it. I feel like most men my age would consider me weak, paranoid, a pussy. And that brings me to a point that I wanted to bring up - being emotionally in-touch.
I did not have this panic problem - hell, even anxiety problems - when I was on meds. However... I was much more emotionally numb. And a lot of people cultivate this effect voluntarily. In fact, it seems like culture (not just male culture, but it's definitely dominant there) actually cultivates this effect. Being "tough" and "hard" are signs of maturity, rights of passage, indicators of strength, fortitude, accomplishment. Being callous is, to many, a badge of honor. And I am a very emotional person. ... At least, I have been told that. It's easy to feel like I'm living life "wrong", and I have often been told and treated that way.
But... my passion? My joy? My raw fascination with the intricacies and beauty of life? My love? My ability to connect with people one-on-one? They all fade when you become callous. I end up living a grayscale life. I know, I've done it. It's why I got off meds. It's why I got out of my old relationship. It's not living. Not for a romantic. Not for someone whose purpose --- this is what I was getting to --- my purpose. As an artist, a musician, a poet. What the fuck am I without emotions? What am I without my passion?
I see the tragedy of my life being that on one side of the coin -> I have myself cowering from overwhelming fear and sadness, from the horrors of what this species does to each other every day, unable to find someone to help me feel safe. And on the other side -> I have myself reveling in the beauty of life, creating visual representations, writing page after page, recording music, capturing as much as I can, unable to find someone to share it with.
And it really sucks. And I really want to do something about it. I just... never imagined I would fail this many times.
I started listing how I've failed in the past few years and deleted it, rare editing moment there, I really just don't want to go down that road. And... those weren't failures. Those were people that fucked me over. And I really don't need to dwell on how former friends and former community members just threw me under the bus, or watched me get struck down unjustly, and just... skipped away like nothing happened. They're not worth my time or energy.
Ugh.
Okay, well... one more thing to unpack before good vibes, I promise.
I got a text today. That NEVER happens. It wasn't from someone trying to scam me about my "Netflix password being leaked" or something this time! It was a guy I went to highschool with. An alcoholic who works at a gas station in my old town. He lived near the house I used to live at, he let me know that he just noticed that "my house" was being demolished. And... I've been moved out since fucking December. Like... my car hasn't been in that driveway since like... November? He lives like... 2 streets up from that house. So... yeah... it was weird. He was just like... "Holy crap _____, they tore your house down", "where you living at now? How are you" I acted polite, replied that I had been moved out for a while, told him the general area of where I am, and tried to emulate what "normal people" do... by politely asking him how he's doing even though I didn't really care. And he did the same thing in return, half-answering something about home improvements and hanging out with dogs... then just said again that he was surprised to see the house gone. And then done. And all done. Yep. So... that's a thing that happened.
Why am I reacting this way to this? The guy got piss drunk, took half my incense and stuck it in the rubber skirt ring on my kayak (when i specifically asked him not to), lit it all, took the kayak out on my pond paddling and playing music really loud with a bluetooth speaker, then paddled over to my neighbors house on the pond in the kayak and yelled at them... for some reason... then came back... and then stole a full pound bag of mexican mix cheese that I had just bought and drunk drove home. And that was... shitty. But even worse? He got high with me on my porch and told me... on my own porch... smoking my own weed... that my parents were right and I should quit art and streaming and shit and get a "real job". And honestly? I'd rather he fucking mug me. I'd rather he steal my phone and sell it for crack.
I mean that. And I really need to remember that. Getting my phone stolen and sold for drugs tomorrow would be scary in the moment, but the shit he told me on my porch that evening? That was in summer 2019, I remember it vividly, like it was yesterday. That will stick with me for a long time. That is scary shit. And I can handle that. So... why the fuck am I afraid of getting mugged? XD
Ugh, it makes no goddamn sense!
Anyway, enough negative shit, let's get to the good shit. If you made it this far... this may be a bit disappointing because you can't like... see the final product to get the full effect... however...
I think I'm pretty much done with the desire path project, at least this branch of it. The animation, at least, I mean. I think the animation of the paths being drawn and the pattern forming is pretty much done. All 100 paths. I did about 30 last night, I went in and did the other 70 today, and then added in some random noise animation to the opacity and line thickness to add a kinda... flickering/pulsing effect to each line. Every line has a different light flicker, every group of 10 has a thickness noise pulse. That was me working all. day. long. About 12 hours total today, with ab 2 hours of dinner break.
Now, all I need to do is kinda... storyboard it. I need to figure out what I'm going to say about it. Then I have the first person footage of the runs, then I have the footage of the map and the final product showing the pattern forming. And I'll do some voiceover on top of it. That's the plan. We'll see how it goes, I'll get cracking on that tomorrow.
So yeah. Big ups and big downs today. But I was saving the big one for the end because it hasn't even really set in for me fully yet. It's done. And now I just have to come up with presentation. I'm going to take a moment and just play it back for myself just so I can let that concept sink in a bit, because it's not really... hitting. --- It looks really cool. :D The whole thing like... shimmers. The paths remind me of an ultrasound or something, the way they flicker and pulse, like veins. It definitely feels much more alive. I like it.
I'm going to go get ready for bed. It's 5:15 again. Ugh. It just keeps happening! -_- Oh well, it's probably less healthy for me to be beating myself up than for me to go to bed at dawn again.
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omg please henry being sad about your daughter turning 2. PLEASE
she’s so big
pairing: dad!henry cavill x mom!reader
warnings: angst, sad Henry, dad!henry
a/n: hope you enjoy!!
when you woke up that morning, and Henry wasn’t in the bed with you, you knew it was going to be a rough day for him.
he loved his daughter, but he hated her birthdays. it wasn’t that he didn’t love celebrating, or parties, he just hated the fact that her birthday meant she was another year older.
the first few months she was here, he cried almost every day. he didn’t want her to grow up.
you mentioned about getting her potty trained for preschool in front of the two of them last week, and had to deal with a meltdown from both of them.
Halston was so much like her father. she had the same blue eyes with a little bit of brown in them, and the same curly hair. you knew from the moment you were giving birth to her that there was no doubt she was his (not there was ever any doubt) because it felt like you were pushing a whole apartment complex out of your vagina.
she had the same attitude, and the same temper. when you or Henry did something she didn’t like, she let you know.
you smiled at the thought of your little girl growing up. sure, it made you sad knowing you’d only ever get to see that little tiny baby she was in pictures, but you were so excited to see who she would become, what she would do.
would she like her coffee black, or to the point of it being white? would she be an actress like her father, or would she prefer to not be in the spotlight? all of these questions swirled through your head as you made your way around the house, looking for your husband.
you found him a few minutes later, in her bedroom. you still called it her nursery, considering she still slept in a crib. you were holding on to that little fact, although you knew in the next year she’d be transitioning to a big girl bed, something neither of you were ready for.
but you weren’t ready for her to do anything. you weren’t ready for her to be born, and you weren’t ready for all of those little milestones, but they happened whether you were ready or not.
Henry was sat on the floor, holding her tiny hand in his bigger one, his thumb swiping over her knuckles.
“What are you doing, love?” you asked, taking a seat next to him.
he looked up as you sat down, tears rimming his blue eyes.
“jus’ holding her while she’s still a baby.” he said, sniffing, his voice shaky.
you smiled and wrapped your arms around your big bear of a husband. “she’ll always be our baby. especially yours. i know it’s hard for you to accept that she’s getting older, it’s hard for me too, but she is, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.” you said, and you saw the dam break within Henry.
he choked out a sob, and buried his head into your neck, his left hand still holding Halston’s. you buried your hands in his hair to soothe him.
his sobs eventually woke the now 2 year old up.
“dada?” she asked, looking from him to you, her curly head tipping to one side as if to ask if her dad was okay. “dada sad, mama?” she asked and you nodded. you lowered the crib bar, and lifted her out. “dada’s a little sad this morning,” you explained.
once she was set on the ground, she climbed into Henry’s lap.
“dada, okay?” she asked, and Henry smiled at her.
“i’m okay, sweet heart. just a little emotional.” he said, and Halston wrapped her arms around him.
“is okay, dada. i ‘ug you. aw better.” she said, and Henry wrapped his arms around his little girl again.
“you make everything better. dada’s just sad your growing up is all. i want you to stay the little baby you are forever.” he explained, and Halston smiled before running off to her play chest and grabbing her Baby Alive doll. she brought it over to Henry, and placed it in his arms.
“wook dada. baby. wike me!” she said, smiling up at you. “i awways baby, dada.” she explained, and giggled when Henry reached over and kissed her forehead.
“you always know how to make Dada feel better, huh?” he said, and she nodded and giggled.
“i big, but stiw wittwe. i awways you baby.” she said, and Henry put the Baby Alive doll down in favour of his real baby in front of him.
“i love you so much. you don’t even know how much i love you. i’m sorry i was so emotional, but you always make me feel better.” he said, and smiled when her stomach growled. “i think it’s breakfast time, huh?” he asked, and she nodded, standing up.
Henry stood up, and smiled when Halston lifted her hands up to be lifted.
“wike a baby, dada!” she exclaimed as Henry went to put her on his hip. he chuckled, and manoeuvred her until she was laying in his arms like a newborn, a hold she was getting too big for.
“see dad. no sad. i baby.” she announced, and you and Henry locked eyes as you walked out of the nursery to start the day, and celebrate your little girl.
#henry cavill#henry cavill smut#fluff#henry!holmes#angst#henry cavill x reader smut#henry cavill x y/n#henry cavill angst#henry cavill x you#henry cavill x reader fluff#dad!henry cavill#henry cavill x mom!reader
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Hi sweets!! Congrats on your 2k you deserve it! May I request a bokuto x reader. Where the reader and him have been fighting lately and he thinks the reader will break up with him. So he goes into his emo faze longer than any other time and his team mates have to speak with reader about it. And the reader finally has a heart to heart and tells him that she’s pregnant and his mood changes instantly and he calls everyone and tells them lol
A/N: Thank you so much anon!
Warnings; some language; some suggestive themes;
Pleas enjoy~🍰
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“Damn it Kou, just go!“ you scold him locking yourself in the bathroom
“baby...please don’t be mad. Come on, I still have some time before I have to be at the gym“ Bokuto tried to console you. For some reason you had woken in a normal mood and once you saw him getting ready, you got emotional. You started saying things like he didn’t care for you and tat he always chose volleyball over you.
None of it was true, he loved you with his entire soul. Just last week you had gotten into a heated argument. Some girls were flirting with him and so you started flirting with Atsumu all while looking at him. It just got him really upset and you both argued for about an hour. The bed was cold because you were so far from him. After about 2 days you made up but then after that your moods had been everywhere.
Just yesterday you were basically annoyed at him because he wanted to cuddle....you loved cuddles! When he gets home later he’s going to sit with you for a serious talk. Communication was always key and he’s keep this relationship afloat!
“*sigh* Y/N I’m not going to force you to talk to me...I’ll see you later alright? I love you baby“ he said as he slowly walked from the door.
He walked down the hall, put on his shoes and left to practice. After the door closes you peek outside to see you were alone. Sighing you come out of the bathroom and walk back to your shared room. You knew being a couple was never easy, everyone had their ups and downs, and eventually things got better. Only for you, things seem to only be going down...
you were pregnant, 2 months to be exact. Worse part was you had no ideas what to do....or how to tell Bokuto...or how he’d react. He had just started the MSBY as a new player along with Hinata, and Atsumu. He was too busy at the moment and it may not be ideal for you both. At the same time you shouldn't have blown up on him like that. Even arguing over small things and it's not fair to him. And all because some of your hormones didn't know how to balance themselves out. Maybe you should tell him...
When Bokuto enters the gym his teammates could already tell it was one of those days. This was the 4th time. He came in emo mode, with his hair down and his sports lower. He loved his things on the bench and went to warm up. Even though he knew things weren’t going to be good here either.
“Okay you seriously have to talk with her” Atsumu said coming behind him, Hinbata and Sakusa following behind. “What happened this time? Did you go too rough or-”
“No! W-well its not that this time” he said with an embarrassed blush, and yes the last time you both got busy you cried. He always spanked you gently but this time around you cried because it made you feel bad. “We just argued this morning, I think....what if we...break up...“ he said with a pouty face.
everyone you, especially his teammates and even his coach how much you meant to him. To hear that he was even speculating you might break up even shop them. They always try their best to cheer him up make sure that he knows that your relationship is steady. Either everyone you, especially his teammates and even his coach how much you meant to him. To hear that he was even speculating you might break up even shocked them.
either they helped him or he would stay depressed, and stay emo mode or his life would fall apart without you.
“Okay have you forgotten something important? A date? A birthday?“ Atsumu asked
“Maybe you’re giving her too much attention“ Hinata added
“Maybe she feels sick because you go home sweaty“ Sauksa pointed out
“I don’t know..“ he said in a mopey voice moving himself on to the court and as per usual, he didn’t do as good as he always does. His spikes weren’t as powerful, his spirit wasn’t on the court, and he had a blank stare of o_o.
After a long day of practice it was time for him to head home. On his way home he felt his heart heavy in his chest. Until he passed by a small gift shop. And it hit him in the moment, he wasn't about to let your relationship fall apart. He was going to fix it even if it was just him trying!
He didn’t want to lose you, you're one in a million and he didn't want to let go. He rushed into the store and grabbed only the best. He got a beautiful stuffed teddy bear that held the heart that said ‘I love you’, got a bouquet of your favorite flowers, and a box of chocolates, your favorite ones. He paid for everything and made his way home.
Hope filled his heart as he knocks on the door waiting for you to open. Opening the door he was met with teary eyes instead of angry ones. You were in One of his hoodies and your cheeks and nose were all red. He comes in and puts the stuff down and brings you into his arms.
“Oh baby what’s going on huh? I bought you all these gifts and stuff so I can make things better“ he said rubbing your back trying to sooth your crying.
“But..I was the one..,who was..mean to you!“ you sniff holding on to him. He reaches down picks you up and holds you close, he knew how much you loved to be carried by him. “A-and I’ve been so moody and unfair to you all because I couldn’t tell you that I’m pregnant!”
“...hu?“ what did you just say? Pregnant? Baby?? REALLY?? “You’re...pregnant..”
“U-um yeah...I know it’s not the ideal time but I-I just didn’t know how to tell yo-“
“WE NEED TO CALL EVERYONE! Oh we need to buy them stuff- Oh we need a bigger place to love in!!“
“Wait...so you’re not upset?“ you ask still in his hold
“Why would I be mad when the woman of my dreams is carrying my child? Now I have two people to love in my life“ he said with a beaming smile he brought you down lower so he could peck your lips in a quick but loving kiss “Thank you for this”
“Oh Kou, I don’t deserve you“
<>
11:02 PM
“mm hello?“ Astumu answered in a sleepy state
“I’M GOING TO BE A DAD!!!“
“ITS 11 AT NIGHT BO! COULDN’T YOU TELL ME TOMORROW?!“
“NO!”
And yes he did this all the way up until 1 am...
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I hope this was okay!❤️
#bokuto x reader#haikyuu bokuto#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fanfiction#Haikyuu fanfic#haikyuu fandom#bokuto koutaru#haikyuu x pregnant reader#anime#anime x pregnant reader#anime x reader#fanfiction#anime fanfiction
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ʟᴏꜱɪɴ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ | ᴍᴀᴛꜱᴜᴋᴀᴡᴀ ɪꜱꜱᴇɪ
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☾ Song: Losin Control by Russ
—tw/cw: hurt/comfort, angst, cheating, alcohol use
—wc: 2,313
☼ a/n: {aged up} {originally on my quotev and wattpad, revised slightly}
For those of you reading this first, there is a first part to this story if you wanted to check it out. Black Ink Revenge | Kuroo Tetsurou. It'll give you a better background to the whole story. This can still be read on its own, but if you wanted more, then yeah!
{Part 1}
Masterlists: Main Masterlist || SFW Masterlist
A rough few months went by, the apartment you were in was slowly turning into a place you could see as your own. Being cheated on isn't fun, wasn't fun... But there isn't a single trace of him in here anymore, all the pain locked away by the memories being non visible. Although... that didn't help during the night, your dreams come back to haunt you, the scarring on your heart still having a bit of the reins on your feelings.
But lately... there's been this guy. Someone who has been slowly helping you heal but the caution tape around your heart was wrapped god knows how many times. But you were losing control of your heart and it scared you half to death.
She's fallin' in love now, losin' control now
Fightin' the truth, tryin' to hide
But I think it's alright, girl
Yeah, I think it's alright, girl
You'd met him at a bar. Matsukawa Issei. He was tall, dark and handsome. Exactly how Kuroo was which naturally brought thoughts back to him... and your heart swelled, the only difference was you could visibly see both of his eyes... But you talked with him. Light conversation which showed to you that he was very easy going, quiet and didn't seem to force flirtation.
"What brings you here tonight? All alone?" You watched him talk, loosening his tie a bit before he poked the ice cube in his short whiskey glass.
You looked down at your glass. You were sat 2 seats away from him, a nice distance you were fine with keeping, for now. "I come here every so often. Just need some time to sit and think... have a drink." You tilted your glass to the side, showing off the liquid that swished in your glass.
He nodded his head. "I get that. So, we're in the same boat then." He chuckled dryly. "My girlfriend... left me a few months ago. No rhyme or reason. Just one day... her stuff was gone."
Your face fell as you looked at the man beside you, his thick eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head. "We're a lot a like, huh..." You moved your gaze back to your drink, moving around the toothpick, listening to the ice clank against the side of the glass.
"The guy must have been stupid." He shook his head again and took a small sip of what you believed to be whiskey or bourbon.
This time you laughed through your nose. "He was more than stupid but... I was the one who kicked him out." You rested your head in your hand that you ended up propping on the bar counter. He didn't say anything, turning his body which was basically telling you he was all ears. "I found him cheating on me." Your monotone voice spoke out, your eyes tunneling in to your drink. "I'd had my suspicions before that though..." You then got quieter. "Then I told him to leave while he was at work... I wrote a note and left for a week." You choked out the last part. "S-sorry." You shook your head, shaking off a tear that managed to escape your eyes but then you stopped and furrowed your brows. "W-why am I telling you all this?" You astonishingly laughed out through your nose again.
He shrugged, leaning back into the high chair. "Sometimes... it's easier to talk with someone who's been through the same, even if they are a stranger."
You nodded your head slowly. "I wonder... if it would be better not to know what went wrong... Just to have had him up and leave."
"No." He answered quickly. " I don't think it would be... It's more closure knowing."
You began to chuckle, earning his attention and furrowed brows. "God, it feels like we're in a support group meeting."
This earned a laugh from the tall male, a genuine one you had yet to hear. "It does feel like that, doesn't it?"
"So... tell me about yourself?" To your surprise, it was you that had moved. You got up out of one of the chairs and into the one that was next to him. You brought over your drink, propped your elbow up and tilted your head, giving him all of your attention.
He gave you a gentle smile then began talking about himself, his relationship, high school, his current job. Once he was done, you in turn had spoke about your life, tears spilling ever so often and one of your tears had been wiped away by his finger.
The night was coming to an end, and you could feel that. It was getting late, you had finished your drink and just the two of you were left in the bar, plus the barkeep.
Matsukawa spoke up. "I don't feel comfortable asking for your number, but please allow me to walk you home. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I found out something had happened to you."
"I... uh, um, okay." You blinked a few times before nodding, picking up your purse and waiting for him to finish the last sip of his drink. "You know, it seems... stranger to ask to walk someone home. A number is easier to change than an address." You chuckled lightly.
He scratched the back of his neck, realizing how it wasn't much different. "Oh, uh-"
"It's alright though." You began to lead the man out the door with a small smile. "You can still walk me home."
The walk home was easy going just like the conversation that flowed between you both at the bar. Much to your despair though, you lived close to the bar so before you knew it, you both were in front of your apartment building.
"You... still could ask for my number." You softly spoke as you held the top of the gate leading into your apartment complex.
"Would it be alright though? I'd feel as if I was taking advantage of a woman who still isn't over a relationship." He tilted his head, his voice filled with sincerity.
You paused for a moment, thinking over his words, the evening and your feelings, your eyes looking back and forth into his. "It's alright." You were confident in your response and he could tell so he took his phone out and handed it over to him. You both said good night and parted, leaving your caution tape slowly unraveling.
She's falling but she doesn't think he'll catch her
'Cause her last relationship was a disaster
Accusations everyday she didn't know why
All her calls would be ignored he's on his own time
Shoulda ended it before it started
All she ever got was broken hearted
He was cheating on her tryna' flip it
Back on her like a victim
That night your dreams were rough again, your heartbreak hitting you full force. But why? They weren't this bad before, was it because of Matsukawa? Was your conscious throwing guilt in your face for kicking Kuroo out while Matsukawa had got walked out on? You shook your head, you were the victim, not him and you had to completely believe that.
Now she all alone and starting over
Now she got baggage on her shoulder
But the new guy really loves her
She loves him, but she doesn't trust herself anymore
It's been a few months. You both talked close to everyday, even started going out on dates a few weeks ago and you felt really happy but you couldn't help but still feel that dragging down feeling in your heart. It's been a few months but you felt yourself falling for him with every bit of yourself and you were terrified. How could you fully know that he's not going to do to you what Kuroo did?
How do you know that the girl didn't up and leave because he was the one cheating on her? These thoughts started bombarding your mind. Taking a deep breath, your eyes made their way to the man walking though the door and your spirits surprising lifted.
Despite her past, she can't help the attraction
"You alright?" Matsukawa furrowed his eyebrows and looked at you, eyes filled with concern.
"Hmm?" You questioned back, not even noticing the tears that had streaked your cheeks. "O-oh..." You blinked a few times and shook your head. "I'm fine."
"Come on." He held out his hand. "Let's go somewhere quieter. It's too loud in here." He gave you a soft smile and you didn't hesitate at all to put your hand in his, allowing him to lead you.
You walked into a bookstore, one with a cozy corner that he brought you over to. "Please, have a seat."
You nodded and sat yourself on the bundle of pillows that surrounded themselves around a short table, one meant for a laptop or a book.
"Tell me what's wrong." His hand found yours and he caressed the top of it.
"Did you cheat on your ex?" The words came out of your mouth so quick you didn't have time to filter them, to make them sound less accusatory.
His eyes soften, the worry he had prior leaving them. "No, no I didn't. I couldn't ever think of cheating on anyone." His spare hand found your cheek.
"A-are you sure?" The tears you held in from your thoughts began to threaten to spill.
"Positive." His warm lips found yours in an instant, turning you into putty with his touch. He backed away moments later. "I've... fallen in love with you, Y/N." He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against yours. "I know... I know there are men out there who can tear apart your heart and leave it out on the dirty street. But there are also men... who want to do everything to make you happy."
You blinked up at him, your heart swelling as your nose twitched slightly. "I... I've fallen too..."
He tells her that he's nothing like the last one
He redefines in every way what love is
She fell for him and hasn't gotten up since
Every now and then, she goes off, though
Beating on his chest like a bongo
He understands she's coming from a hurt place
Answers all the questions on her survey
Doesn't get jealous, doesn't break trust
Doesn't call a hoe after hang-ups
Gives her everything she ever wanted
And even though she still feels haunted
He stayed at your house quite a bit, close to 5 days a week and it was good but you still had nagging feelings that tugged at your heart. His phone would buzz, he'd check it, laugh or smile then respond, placing it back down only for it to go off again. Who would respond so fast? As fast as a girl would?
You excused yourself from the room and went into the bedroom, the tears not doing anything but fully escaping your eyes. It took him no more than 10 seconds to hear your sobs and barge into the bathroom.
"N-no. G-get ou-t!" You yelled at him in between your sobs.
"Not happening. Tell me what's wrong."
"No!" You cried out and when he started getting closer to you, grabbing your waist, you started hitting his chest with your fists. "Go back t-to texting th-that g-girl!" You tried pushing him off you but he completely collapsed your arms against his chest and hugged you close.
He brought you down to the ground with him, his arms still securely around you. "There's no girl I have to go back to text. It's kind of pointless to text you when you're right here." He kissed the top of your head, the sobs slowing their pace. "It was just Makki, he and I are sending memes back and forth. You wanna see some? They're quite funny."
You sniffled and backed away from him, looking up into his small dark eyes. "O... okay." You nodded and he got up first, helping you with him so you both could sit on your couch looking through memes for the rest of the night.
~
You surprised yourself, you didn't realize you could get PTSD from this... But it explains exactly why tiny little things have set you off. Placing accusations on Matsukawa when he doesn't deserve them. You placed your head down on the kitchen counter sighing in between your arms.
Suddenly, you felt arms snake around your waist, stiffening your body. You turned your head and your eyes landed on messy black hair. "I-Issei..."
"I'm sorry."
Your heart fell and your eyes widened. "What the hell are you sorry for? You have no reason to be sorry. It's me who needs to be sorry. You've been doing everything, making me feel... wanted... good enough..." Your eyes began to brim with tears. "I'm not the only one who had a tough relationship, and I'm taking out my hardships on you... a-and..."
He breathed out through his nose as his hand made its' way up to your cheek. "I'm just so sorry that you had to go through something like you did. You're a gorgeous woman. You're smart and funny, sincere and gentle. It pains me knowing that you're living with demons in your heart that won't allow you to be happy. And as for myself... I can't say I don't think about it every so often, but then I see you, think of you and just think... it's bad, but I'm glad what happened to us did. Otherwise... I wouldn't be as happy as I am now."
Your mouth dropped slightly, words refusing to form and your heart surging. "I..."
"I promise you though, as much as I can, I will fend off those demons. I will make sure that you can smile carefree, so you can trust me." By now, his other hand had attached itself gently on your other cheek, both thumbs caressing your cheekbones.
Your shoulders fell as you melted into the warm, comforting touch of his hand. You looked up at him, pain, freedom and overwhelming happiness filling your eyes.
"I won't hurt you. I never could." He pulled your cheeks and you went on your toes as he bent down to you, taking your lips in with his, gently, ever so gently enveloping you in his hold and securing you to the best of his ability. Your fingers furled themselves around the fabric of his shirt as he tightened his hold, deepening his kiss as he showed you how much love he held for you.
She's falling in love now, losing control now
I think it's alright girl
#okay okay okay something to make yall feel better hopefully haha#matsukawa#matsukawa fluff#matsukawa issei#anime#anime fanfiction#haikyuu#haikyuu matsukawa#haikyuu x reader#matsukawa x reader#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo x reader#kuroo angst#haikyuu angst
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A Lesson In Mando’a [Din Djarin x Reader]
Title: A Lesson In Mando'a
Summary: You'd been a bounty hunter most of your life; you were use to sleeping rough, fighting for your life, the harsh realities of life. What you weren't use to was the soft feelings of comfort, the warmth of a family.
Warnings: Like one swear word I think ?
Request: N/A
A/N: I posted this about half an hour ago, but it wasn’t showing up in the tags, so hopefully this one does!
A/N 2: Let me know if you have any other Din or Star Wars requests!
PART 1: A Lesson In Mando’a
PART 2: A Lesson In Tradition
PART 3: A Lesson In Touch
Din Djarin~A Lesson In Mando'a
Despite not fully understanding 'the Way', you had come to respect it. You particularly admired (almost envied) the beskar armour that came with it. It was certainly one of the better perks that came with being a Mandalorian. That, and the instant fear reaction most had whenever the Mandalorian walked into the room. Din (you had recently learned that was 'Mando's' real name) was quite a character as he strode into any cantina. He drew the attention of many patrons that occupied the bar, whether they chose to avert their eyes or stare at him. His shiny new beskar, along with the menacing helmet, was quite a sight to behold.
And, yet, you found yourself -on more than one occasion- staring at the Mandalorian with admiration... Affection almost. You knew it wasn't allowed. It wasn't compatible with Din's lifestyle, nor yours; it didn't make any sense, logically. On the surface, you knew that, but deep down you longed for a connection with the Mandalorian, one that served as more than a business deal, or an alliance of convenience. For a while, you had tried to asses Din's feelings about you.
At first, you were pretty sure he hated you: you did, after all, steal a bounty from him. It wasn't your fault that both your employer at the time and the guild he worked for had given you the same target, and it certainly wasn't your fault you were faster. As soon as you had caught the target, you were out of there: you knew of the Mandalorian's reputation, and you were smart enough to not want to fight him head to head. You didn't get to meet Din face to face until you had both been in the same town, both being hunting down by the Imps. You'd helped him escape them directly, and he'd offered you a lift in his ship, the Razor Crest. And, then you met his son... And, kind of never left.
You'd intended just to leave as soon as you can, to be dropped off at the next planet. You didn't want to over stay your welcome; your companion didn't seem like the type to host company. Though, if you were being honest, you didn't think he'd be the type to have a child either. He was cute: the child. And, while you didn't have many parental feelings, you had to admit the little green gremlin was pulling on your heart strings.
You sat in one of the chairs in the cock pit, with Din in the main front one flying. You suspected he'd put you there so he could keep an eye on you. And, while you couldn't blame him, you did start to feel tired. Did this ship even have beds? It didn't seem like a traditional living vehicle, definitely not built for comfort. Your eyes scanned around the cockpit, wondering if you could sneak down to the hull and take a nap there. While your eyes were wandering around, you spotted something out of the corner of your eye: the child. You smiled at him as he gazed a you. He turned his head slightly, his ears flopping to one side. The child looked curiously at you: you were a stranger, and you doubted he'd interacted with many people besides the Mandalorian. He seemed quite protective over the kid.
Before you could realise what was happening, the child had wandered towards you and was reaching up at you. You hesitated for a second before picking him up. You didn't want to offend Din by over stepping any boundaries, but who could say no to those big, pleading eyes.
You held him carefully, gently placing him in your lap, being mindful of how small he is.
"He seems to like you," Din murmured.
You jumped, a little bit startled; you'd be trapped in the moment, your eyes trained on the child. He smiled up at you, enjoying being held, and the feeling of warmth. You imagined your robes were much more comfortable than the beskar.
"Huh, I'm usually not good with kids, but he is a cutie," you smile up at the Mandalorian, "Is this what you look like under the helmet?"
You feel him tense up.
"Sorry I didn't mean offense by it," you pause, pursing your lips.
"No, its fine. Not too many people make jokes with me, that's all," he reassured.
"Well, no offence, you don't seem like the joking type," you shrug, "Or, maybe, who knows: you might be laughing under there all the time and just nobody can tell."
"Yeah, I'm the life of the party," Din dead panned.
You chuckled a little, and although you didn't know it at the time, Din's heart skipped a beat. 'That was weird,' Din thought, 'That's never happened before...' He tried to bury it, hide the thought away, as he did with a lot of his emotions. This one, however, seemed to stick around.
And, so did you.
It had been a few months since you'd joined him. Originally, you offered to help on jobs, fix the ship, take care of the child, whatever he wanted- to repay him for stealing his bounty. Well, that's what you told yourself. Originally, you believed you were in his debt, but over time you grew more and more fond of his company- and the child of course. He was adorable, and he offered a light distraction from the chaos the universe seemed to be in. Not to mention, your growing affection for the Mandalorian was keeping you pleasantly occupied.
~~~
Din was off hunting a bounty. Usually, you'd go with him, but he had insisted it would be an easy job. Besides, you weren't going to fight him on this: you liked spending time with the kid, and it'd give you some time to catch up on your sleep. The Crest wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep, and you always felt slightly on edge because the Mandalorian practically slept battle ready. It was the perfect excuse to have a rest day- those came few and far between.
The Razor Crest was parked safely in a remote location, with all security measured engaged. You told yourself it would only be a small nap. Besides, the kid was tired too. You'd fed him recently, and he always napped after food. If he was tired, you might as well sleep beside him- for his comfort, of course.
Originally, you were going to put him to bed in the little make shift cot Din had made for him, but you figured he'd be just as comfortable in your arms. You made your way up to the cock pit. It was nightfall, and the stars visible from this planet were quite a sight to behold. Gently, you held the child and began explaining to him all the different star constellations, and what they meant. You weren't sure he understood basic, but the way he looked up at you, and then to the stars, you figured he was understanding something.
"And, this one," you pointed out a large cluster of stars, "Is called 'The Warrior', just like your daddy, little one. That one is 'The Queen,' and this one-"
You stopped yourself. The kid had finally fallen asleep. You gently wrapped the blanket around both of you, and leaned back into the chair. Within a couple of minutes, your eyes had drooped, and sleep had overcome you. Before you completely drifted off, you had one thing on your mind: you hoped you would see your dear Mandalorian soon.
~~~
When the bounty hunter turned dad returned from his latest outing, he was tired. He threw the bounty into carbonite, and trudged further up the ship. It was only after he'd had a moment to breathe, that he realised there was no sign of you- or the child. His heart began to race. He opened the closet, praying to find the child inside a sleep.
He didn't.
Fuck. This was bad. He should've never left the child- what if he was hurt now? What if you were? Surely, you hadn't taken the child. You wouldn't do that to him... Would you?
His last resort before tearing apart the place was to check the cock pit. Logically, he knew you could be up there, but you usually spent most of your time in the hull. That's where your bed was, where the food was, where the child usually played. That's where he thought you'd be.
Din climbed up the ladder, keeping an eye out in case anything had happened to you or the child- in case it was a trap. Instead of any sign of the Imps, droids, or guild interference, he saw your sleeping body. In your arms, was the child. Din pulled himself up and landed as quietly as he could, so as to not disturb you. He watched you for a second; you looked so peaceful, and so well rested. He was envious. His eyes dropped down to the child; he was curled into your body, with his fingers gently wrapped around your thumb. He was softly snoring, almost purring as he slept. Din took one step forward, but his armour boot clanked against the floor a little too loudly. The child perked up; his ears flinched at the sound, and he woke up. When he saw it was Din, he cooed for him, and began to wriggle in your arms.
The Mandalorian stepped forward, and reached for the kid. You began to wake as well.
"D-Din?" you ask, eyes fluttering open, and when you registered it was him, you sat up, "You're back!"
You then registered that the baby was trying to wiggle out of your grasp. Adjusting your grip on him, you lifted the child up and offered him over to Din.
"Sorry little guy, did you want to go back to your daddy?" you asked, and the baby cooed in response, "Here you go."
Din gently took the child from you and held him close.
"How was it? An easy job?" you asked.
He was lost in thought. About you, about the child, about his new found family. His heart had fluttered when you had called him daddy. Well, it wasn't technically you, but he felt it in his heart nonetheless. He had been feeling that a lot around you lately: especially when you held the child. It almost felt like he had... Like he had a family. Din hadn't known what that felt like for a long time. Sure, he had the fellow Mandalorians, but they offered no affection like you did. He didn't feel as warm around them as he did with you. He-
You were still expecting answer. Your smile dazed him.
"Yes it was, cyar'ika," he murmured, looking down at his son, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you missed my company"
"Maybe," you smiled, "The child did at least."
That was enough, for now.
Din was about to turn around and go back down the hull, when you spoke up again.
"Din, you keeping calling me... Ah, c-cyr-"
"Cyar'ika?"
"Yes, that!" you pause, "What does it mean?"
"Oh that," Din could feel his face heat up behind the mask (which he was very thankful for at this moment, other wise he feared he'll die of embarrassment from the deep blush on his face), "I- Ur, it means... It's Mando'a for beloved."
"Oh," you felt your face heat up, "I-"
"-I can stop if it makes you feel uncomfortable-"
"-No! No, I... I like it."
It wasn't quite a full admission of your feelings, but for now... For now, you were happy. With Din, with the child: with your family.
#star wars#star wars imagine#star wars imagines#din djarin#din djarin x reader#din djarin imagine#din djarin imagines#the mandalorian#the mandalorian x reader#the mandalorain imagine#the mandalorian imagines#mandalorian#manalorian x reader#mandalorian imagine#mandalorian imagines#one shot#imagine#imagines#reader imagine#reader insert#character x reader#baby yoda#baby grogu
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Lone Star Hate Watch 3x01
Welcome back to me torturing myself on a weekly basis
Disclaimer: Hi. If you love Lone Star, that's great! Please don't read this and enjoy your show.
Eddie Diaz for beautiful, cleansing energy:
And here we go!
I remember almost nothing of Season 2 but here's a quick recap of the things I do remember:
Grace and Judd are having a baby
Carlos' apartment burned down
The 126 fire station blew up
There was an arsonist
Tommy's husband died
Tim got smashed by a lava rock
Billy Burke was a li'l stinker
And that's about it!
As usual, this is a stream of consciousness as I watch the episode, so here we go!
I'm guessing Owen punched Billy in the face but I have no memory of that
I'm definitely Team Billy in this one, as always
Owen's a little bitch
Question – why the fuck does everyone want to captain the 126 so badly? Like, what is the deal with the 126? I don't get it
Wasn't Billy the captain of another fire station? It would be like if Bobby was all "yeah listen you guys at the 118 are great but I just have so much more of a boner for the 133 y'all"
"like a scorned lover" like WHAT
I'm sorry but it's just a firehouse you guys
You know I don't think Owen and Billy are going to be BFF after this
Fucking Owen "what happens to me isn't important" fuck off
They're going to tear down the building and everything 10/10 BURN IT TO THE GROUND
I just don't care about any of this
God I forgot about Ronen's dumb face
Fuck I'm glad it doesn't snow where I live
Are they gonna let those turtles fucking freeze
Oh he's going to fall through the ice SAVING a turtle
There's a PERSON IN THE ICE?? What the actual fuck
I've seen this Chuck guy in something before
Do you know as much as I enjoy Gina Torres I'm still holding a grudge against her for her part in the disaster that was Angel Season 4, which I haven't seen in 15 years but will never watch again
(Can I blame Tim Minear for Angel Season 4?)
Oh Julie Benz is in this! JULIE BENZ!
Who the fuck is this Chuck guy and why is he such a douchebag
Also I'm just going to say that as much as I love the found family aspect of the OG (because it feels organic) – I am going to say that it's weird that these guys haven't worked together in six months and they seemingly have not made any other friends in that time
Carlos definitely dumped TK
"Are you kidding me Nancy?" TK says in a monotone
You know what I love so much about the TK/Carlos relationship? They put so much care and attention into that I'm pretty sure the last time we saw them in Season 2 they were all loved up and shit and now we start Season 3 with them broken up, because they couldn't even be fucked to show the relationship falling apart. Unless TK roughing Carlos up was the relationship falling apart? Like maybe Carlos told someone about how his boyfriend pushed him around and they were like, "Oh hey that's really alarming that your boyfriend would do that to you huh," and Carlos was like, "Holy shit IT IS and also it's weird that he never shows any human emotions?"
Welcome to Season 3 of me slamming on TK because he fucking sucks
Oh now TK doesn't want Carlos to come because he wasn't in the 126? What a little bitch
Carlos definitely dumped him
I hope those cookies have laxatives in them
Oh look at JUDD OMG
Why can't this show just be about THEM
He's painting CLOUDS and ANIMALS
Jesus Christ everyone it's just a fucking building
Also I choose to believe that Buck unfollowed Marjan after he realised how deeply stupid her content is
THEY'RE CROWD FUNDING REOPENING THE FUCKING FIREHOUSE????
I hate this show
Carlos is very hot and way too good for TK
How am I only 12 minutes into this
"It's important to know when a thing is over" – Carlos DEFINITELY DUMPED TK
"We used to be a family" girl you can still be friends are you fucking kidding me
What happened to the boy in the lake? Are we coming back to that or… no
JULIE BENZ
JULIE BENZ IS HERE
Get the fuck away from Owen, Julie, you can DO SO MUCH BETTER
Is Owen not a firefighter anymore?
You know… he could've gone back to New York or something but like whatever
Be a shitty lumberjack
Skiing behind a car gee that's going to end well
Oh fuck
Okay
Fucking seriously
Oh Mateo's now the "best guy"
"Hey look at our little probie all grown up" what an asshole
BILLY BAILED HER OUT?
Plot twist
I fucking love Billy
I just feel like they're all a little obsessed with the 126 to an unhealthy degree
That kid's still stuck in the lake though
His blood is MELTING THE ICE
THEY'RE PACKING THE WOUND WITH SNOW???
It just feels like there could be some like, contamination or something
You know?
Oh my god I'm only at 22 minutes
Can't we transfer Carlos to LA?
Like hear me out – we cancel Lone Star, right? But we transfer Carlos to LA and he's then in LA and that's a good, nice thing for us all to have. And we never see TK again.
And then Grace and Judd get their own spin-off where they're just incredibly competent at their jobs and also super adorable together
Oooh Captain Strand abandoned them
Oh she went home and printed the fucking employment letter damn Marjan
"At the end of the day a man's got to be able to look himself in the mirror" – "or in Captain Strand's case, every hour on the hour" DAMN SOLID BURN PAUL
These people are way too obsessed with each other
I say as a fan of the OG like they're all not obsessed with each other too BUT STILL - actually you know what the difference is? The core 118 all has their own families outside of work but their work family is also their extended family, and that's why it feels organic.
Okay so like listen – say what you will about 5a of the OG and how it's been a little disjointed (on purpose) but like – they've essentially split up the core 118 family, right? Chim's been MIA, Eddie and Buck were split up as partners and now Eddie is (temporarily) leaving, Buck's trapped in a miserable, soul-sucking relationship etc etc
So Lone Star has pretty much done the same thing here
But where in the OG it's part of the continuing story – Maddie's PPD, Eddie's PTSD, Chimney going to find Maddie, Buck trapping himself with Taylor – this is simply because their firehouse exploded, burned down, Billy closed it and now they can't all work together.
Like
YOU CAN STILL BE FRIENDS??? OUTSIDE OF WORK?
It's so fucking dumb.
The stakes are so low you guys and that's why IT'S SO FUCKING DUMB
Buttercup is not excited to see Marjan AT ALL
I just don't care about any of this
They're stealing "the universe" lines from the OG now?
I hate this show
At least TK hasn't been in this episode much, I mean, that's an upside
"the thing matters most – putting our house back together" like fuck
IT'S JUST A FIREHOUSE GUYS
It's such a slam on the other firehouses they've been working with for six months too, like "yeah you guys are fine but you'll never be as good as we were at the 126!"
"Rasputin in a man bun" oh BITCH no YOU DIDN'T
Billy is so much more than A MAN BUN, Owen
(he might be Rasputin though)
That roof's gonna cave in friends
Oh Carlos what a hero
"in the rig as in life" fuck I HATE THIS DUMB FUCKING SHOW
"I'm not telling you why Carlos and I broke up" because he dumped you
Because you suck
And he finally fucking realised how much you suck
That kid's still in the lake you guys
Oh now they're face to face
Carlos STAY STRONG
Oh no the red haired volunteer chick isn't there
You know how on the OG they're showing Buck and Eddie slowly becoming more distant after their shared traumatic experience? So we, the audience, know that things aren't right between them?
This show couldn't even be fucked to show TK & Carlos breaking up
Like that's the difference
Because when Buck and Eddie reunite it will feel worthwhile and like we've waited for it all season, we will have earned it
But on this show? They'll just get them back together and that'll be it, you watch
Maybe Owen will freeze to death? We can only hope
I mean I know I should care about this Paul/Marjan cliffhanger
But I don't.
This show is so dumb and I hate it so much.
Like I genuinely can't believe that Tim is wasting more time on this trash than the OG - but then I can believe it, because I feel like Season 3 is make it or break it for Lone Star and I really hope it breaks it.
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Universal Rule
jeff wittek x reader
warnings: fluff , smut (i’m sorry if it isn’t super great first time writing it 😅)
synopsis: this anons request basically
There’s a universal rule that females and males can’t simply be friends. Where it came from- no one seems to know however, as much as we try and deny it, the realization that there’s harbored feelings hidden deep within you reels its ugly head around.
Jeff Wittek, a man who some may describe to be as gorgeous as a God but as charming as a devil. His natural allure but timidness factor to the ever growing attention of many women, ones he tries to politely reject with a signature giggle- a sign that, once again, he’ll be going home alone.
Except, he wasn’t truly alone as everyone believed. Jeff had a blossoming friendship with a neighbor, from the second he helped her with the last box on moving in day, to the next second everything fell through the bottom and all over his feet- a plethora of clothing ranging from heavy jeans to delicate red panties. For Jeff, it was like a nightmare, slight pink hue dusting his cheeks, that was until a fit of giggles erupted from his new neighbor's lips.
From that day on, Jeff and Y/N were inseparable. In their world, they were friends, ones without any ulterior motives in their hearts or heads, although- to someone looking in, Jeff and Y/N were a ticking time bomb. Either the final chapter to the romance part of their individual books, or the greatest heartbreak and tragedy since Romeo and Juliet.
Y/N was the first to realize and accept the fact that to her, Jeff was it. It tiptoed into her heart like a burglar, one who was preparing to wreak havoc on the one thing that no one had been able to possess in almost forever. It hit one evening, after Jeff was going on a rant about how there’s so much he has to do, and that even though he knows he’s working himself to the bone, he needs to make sure he’s growing. The vulnerability in his voice, the softness in his eyes melted Y/N- just like it had done to thousands of women before her.
For Jeff, it happened when Y/N had dragged him on a 2 am walk with Nerf after finding him slumped over his computer recording the same voice over for nearly 20 minutes- the food she had bought going cold besides him. Nerf was hopping up her ankles as they walked, an almost puppy like behavior, barking happily up at her. Jeff had stepped back to capture the moment as Y/N carried on going further- he had slowly lowered his phone as he gazed longingly at a girl who you could compare to Aphrodite.
The universe runs on minutes, hours, days, months and so on. A singular second could be a turbulent moment in ones life. Jeff and Y/N had so many stored seconds from meeting, to the realization that your friend holds more power over your existence then another soul. Those seconds, as heavy as they felt, had fleeted away like distance memories to reminisce on later. Nonetheless, the universe runs on seconds.
Jeff had been running late for a usual movie/ catch up night with Y/N, which led to her deciding to take a brisk shower to calm her ongoing nerves. To her dismay, her mind must have slipped up the tiny detail of letting Jeff know she was in the shower, let alone the fact that he had a spare key to her apartment.
“I’m so sorry Y/N, I know I’m late but there was about 20 ninjas I had to fight off in the hallway an’ then a meteor was gunna come an’ hit-” Jeff voice slowly went quieter as he spun away from the front door, only to be met with an empty living room. “Huh, she must be running late as well” he thought.”fuuuuuck I need a piss, she wouldn’t care if I used her toilet”
He walked idly towards the bathroom, unaware to his surroundings as the only thought he was having was how much he was bursting. It wasn’t until a ear piercing shriek echoed off the walls as a naked Y/N stood stunned in the middle of the bathroom.
“Y/N!? HOLY FUCK I- I’M SO SORRY I-” spinning on his heel and running out the room as Y/N finally wrapped her towel securely round her.
“JEFF WHAT THE HELL?” she screamed at him once entering the living room, a pink faced Jeff sitting on the arm rest of her couch head in hands, from the sheer mortifying fact he had managed to see her whole bare silhouette.
“I’m sorry Y/N, I- I- I really needed the toilet...” a whisper that would’ve been hard to catch if the environment hadn’t been so silent.
“Oh, well go on then I’m done anyways” retreating back into her room to put some article of clothing and a shred of dignity that might have been left in her. Whilst Jeff hurried back into the steamed up room, the blush growing more prominent by every thought of that singular second.
It carried on through out the night, the tension thick in the air, as Jeff kept replaying the moment- he felt like he was being engulfed by the steam from how hot he was starting to feel. The beads of water cascading down your heaving chest, your pillowy lips slightly parted from shock as your sparkling eyes stared directly at him. The more he fantasized, the tighter his shorts got- he was trying his best not to let his mind wonder but having you pressed against his right side, your delicate hands grazing his upper left arm- sending electricity through out his veins- it was leaving him dissatisfied.
“Y/N?” his voiced wavered as he gazed downwards at the h/c haired girl,
“Yeah Jeff?”
“Can you look at me for a sec”
A slight giggle escaped your mouth, as you raised your head to stare longingly into his eyes. “Ok what do you want because this is a really good sce-”
A second.
A second was all it took before your lips collided into a passionate yet sensual kiss. A kiss that had left you breathless and almost bare once he pulled away. The empty space between your lips seeming never ending, suddenly you grasped at the collar of his shirt as you fell back on the couch, Jeff following as he slotted himself between your parting legs. His lips trailed towards your jaw and down your neck- sucking and biting, leaving something more then just a memory behind.
Hot breathes followed by sharp movements of clothes being ripped off, after months of hesitation and refusal of the cardinal need to be with one another.
Jeff's lips wrapped around the stiff peak of your right tit as his slightly rough textured hand, massaged the other one. To him, it felt like silk, soft and welcoming. He didn’t think he could feel better until he finally got a taste of you, a broad stripe up your slit, making you gasp and slightly arch your back off the couch as his forearm held your hips down. As he pulled his head back, the loss of contact had you whining until suddenly Jeff delved his head back in, sucking on your clit that a guttural moan escaped your bruised lips. Your eyes rolled back as you felt a tight coil in your lower abdomen as Jeff continued his attack in between your legs.
“Jeff I’m gunna, JEFF!”
You came all over his tongue as he carried on lapping away, the taste of you making his mind hazy. Finally, he pulled himself up towards your face, your eyes hooded as you tried to catch your breath.
He placed a light kiss to the top of your head has he stroked your hair backwards, whispering and “are you ok?” to your hairline.
He was going to ask if you wanted to go on before he felt your hand wrap itself around his dick, slowly moving your hand up and down as you placed the tip against your entrance. Looking into your eyes for any shred of hesitance, but being instead met with lust. He kept the eye contact as he pushed himself further inside, a sharp intake of breathe being held inside your lungs as your walls enveloped around him. He didn’t start moving until you let the breathe out, followed by a slight nod.
He built up his speed start slow and hard before hammering into you, the tip of his dick hitting the spot you needed him too. Both of your moans harmonizing as the air carried them in the room, along with skin slapping. Jeff was insatiable. To him, you were like a new vice, one that he intends on never dropping. The constrictions of your walls felt like heaven as you gripped onto his dick, your groans and breaths becoming shallow and shaky as you neared your peak. A final hip shattering thrust, made you coat Jeff’s dick as he slowed down, nearing his own finish as his breathing became ragged until, at last, he pulled out and released on your stomach.
He collapsed beside you as your labored breathing filled the silence- the movie long finished.
“Wow, I really wasn’t expecting that” you half heartedly chuckled, as you cuddled back into Jeff’s side, head resting on his chest.
Your head bounced as Jeff’s laugh echoed in his chest. “If I’m being honest y/n/n, neither did I”
“So what now Jeff? Can’t exactly pretend this didn’t happen” resting your chin on his chest, waiting to see his deep brown eyes that turned golden in the Sun light.
“Lets not then” he responded nonchalantly as your eyebrows crumpled together, his gaze averting away from the barren ceiling to yours, a smile gracing his lips as a deep emotion of love clouded his eyes “This is a second I never want to forget”
#jeff wittek#jeff wittek x reader#jeff wittek fanfiction#jeff wittek imagine#jeff wittek imagines#jeff wittek smut#jeffs barbershop
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Blame
Blame - @midnightsconspiracy
Summary: Having a baby without telling their father was hard, what was harder was when that baby’s father was Hank Voight
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1900
Requested: Yes!!
‘Hank and the reader had a small fling 2 years ago Hank called it off but what happens when he finds out that the reader son isn’t just hers but his as well.’
A/N: It doesn't really follow the timeline of the requests 2 years, but it's along those lines anyway :):)
Masterlist
Yours and Hank's relationship had seemed perfect at first, well to you anyway. Nothing seemed as though it was out of the ordinary until the man had unexpectedly broken it off.
It had originally started when you had first met him on a case. Originally, you had attended a police scene after his unit had called for a paramedic crew, the sergeant in question having hit the offender a little too hard. Your partner was assigned to look at the perpetrator's wounds, him having come out of that scuffle worst for wear, you on the other hand were sent to look at Voight's beat-up hand. Admittedly, you were a little wary at first, having heard of his tough reputation through the firehouse. But he seemed to be kind to you anyways, and so you ignored those rumours, choosing to decide for yourself instead. And so your relationship grew from there, secretly spending most of your free nights at his place, learning to trust each other implicitly.
As time went on, the two of your learnt to love each other, both scarred from the outcome of previous relationships. Your days were filled with shy smiles from the texts you'd send to each other, and nights with the feeling of one another. Everything had seemed perfect at the time, blissfully unaware of what he was feeling. Yes, he did love you, but the insecurities and comments were eating away at him. Each day he would come into work or go out to his local gentlemen's club and receive judgments on your relationship, about how you were much younger or better looking than him. He took most of the comments to heart despite you telling him otherwise, but who was he going to believe, over 10 of his closest friends and colleagues or his girlfriend? Eventually, he chose his answer, breaking it off before you could object otherwise.
Distraught was the only word that you could use to describe yourself. You were absolutely heartbroken knowing someone you believed loved you threw it all away because of the opinions of others. Not only were you emotionally broken but also physically, feeling like absolute crap, constantly throwing your guts up and in an ever-changing mood. At first, you just blamed it on the stress you were facing, the breakup had been rough and you'd tried your best to change his mind. But it continued on day by day even after you'd accepted what had happened. Confiding in Sylvie about your problems, she seemed worried for you, urging you to go to the doctors for advice. Although you were apprehensive at first, you followed her instructions, seeking Natalie out to check you over.
You played with your hands nervously as you waited for her to come back with the results of the blood tests. At first, you just thought it was the flu, but after each symptom of yours she checked off her list, your mind knew where this was all going. And so as she confirmed what you were thinking, you froze, tears springing to your eyes not knowing what would happen to you or your baby.
That day you had made one of the most important decisions of your life, you would move back home to Virginia and raise the baby with only the help of your family. And so that's what you did, packing your things up into a moving van, putting your apartment for sale and driving to your new home. It was a little challenging at first to adjust to your new life, you missed your friends overwhelmingly having spent nearly every day of the last five years within the walls of that firehouse. But, you knew you had to move on though, probably never going back to Chicago to allow your child a better life. It had crossed your mind once or twice that maybe Hank would want to know about this, be a part of their life, but you just couldn't chance it. He had let you go over the opinions of others so what would stop him from doing similar with this child? You couldn't take that risk though, so as soon as any thought of him would appear, it would disappear soon after.
It was a struggle being a single parent, going through each trimester of your pregnancy alone. Sometimes you wished he would go through the milestones with you, the first sign of a baby bump, the first kick. And you had your family there with you too, but it was never the same as someone you loved. The worst was when you gave birth, all alone, with no one to hold your hand as you experienced the worst pain of your entire life. However, it had led to the best thing, your son, Jackson. Your life had changed overnight, now you not only lived for yourself but also your son.
As he grew up your happiness also increased, loving life just you and your child. Most of the time it was perfect laughing and playing but others you wanted Hank to be there, helping you out with the hard moments. Things with your family worsened as Jackson grew as well, things becoming rocky as they helped you less and less. And so just after you celebrated your sons third birthday, you decided maybe Chicago wasn't so bad. You could reunite with your friends, have some help with Jackson and potentially get your job back at the firehouse. So that's what you did, once again packing your stuff up and moving the both of you into a shared apartment with Sylvie, your rock in all of this.
Your life had suddenly gone back to normal overnight, picking up your career as a paramedic at 51 whilst you got a babysitter from Jackson. The only people that were aware of your presence were those at the firehouse, trying to keep your return in house so as not to raise any unwanted attention. But that had all changed as you and Brett were once again called to a police crime scene. And your prayers weren't answered as you rolled up to one led by intelligence.
As soon as you exited the ambulance you were faced with the entire team with two people needing assistance, the perpetrator and Hank. Sylvie gave you a knowing look as you grabbed the equipment, allowing you to take the bad guy. But as you walked towards the guy, Hank raised his voice, telling Sylvie he wouldn't be treated by her, wanting to talk to you instead. So you both complied, wandering over and grabbing Hank's head to assess his injuries, not wanting to even look him in the eye. You tried to wrap things up as quickly as you could, refusing to talk to him at all.
"You're back," he stated bluntly, needing to know your reasoning behind leaving in the first place. But you wouldn't give him the pleasure, fixing medical tape onto his wound, before packing up your stuff and hightailing it back into the ambulance. Although you were done with him, he definitely wasn't done with you, having heard some interesting rumours about your departure.
Finding out your new address, Hank made it his mission to see you, to explain what he was thinking. Knocking on the door of your apartment, he wished to see your face, having missed you the four years you had been gone. Just after you had moved your life to Virginia, Hank had a revelation, kicking himself for letting go of someone he loved so much. But instead of meeting your beautiful face, he found some random woman, being informed that you no longer lived there. He had been left distraught, leading to months of emotional instability, bottling it up, only to explode with anger and sadness after too long. But now as you opened the door, he smiled, glad that it was actually you this time.
"Why are you here?" You asked, wedging your body between the door and its frame, not wanting him to spot your child who was happily playing inside.
"I wanted to see you, I missed you," he confessed, wary at your suspicious behaviour.
"Missed me? You broke-"
"Mommy?" Being cut off from your angry rant, your eyes widened at the sound of your son, knowing you would have to reveal him to his father. Picking your toddler up, you tried to close the door, hoping to defuse the situation. Unlucky for you, Hank stopped the door from closing, pushing inside of your apartment.
"Mommy huh?" He questioned, confused at how you had a child.
"What's your name buddy?"
"Jackson," your son replied, blissfully unaware of who this man was and what havoc he was causing.
"And how old are you?" The cogs were turning in Hanks mind, could this child be his?
"I just turned three!" The exclamation from the child, confirmed it all, he was this boys father and you hadn't told him. Straightening up he looked you in the eyes, an angry look on his face.
"Hey, buddy why don't you play in your bedroom?" And with that, you brought your son back into his room, closing the door behind you.
"He's mine isn't he?" Hank questioned that eerily quiet voice piercing your ears. Yes, you hadn't told him, but it was to protect you and your son! Not trusting your voice you nodded your head, giving him the confirmation he needed.
"And you didn't think to tell me?" He roared, his anger overflowing, grabbing your arms to get you to look at him.
"It was to protect him, if you could easily get rid of me, what was stopping you from getting rid of him too?" You cried, knowing what you did was wrong.
"And you didn't think I could make that chose myself?" You could see the tears in the man's eyes, his voice crackling as he realised this was as much his fault as it was yours. You had made the choice but he was ultimately to blame. Bringing you into his arms, you both cried, equally regretting your decisions. Looking back up at him, your feeling flooded back, remembering how much you really loved this man. And so at that moment, you decided that Hank should be part of your boy's life, Jackson was as much his as he was yours.
So that evening was spent introducing the pair, watching as they got along like a house on fire. Hank's experience raising a child previously meant he knew how to please a child, allowing them to bond as father and son. Every time he looked at you, your original feelings intensified, understanding why you had originally thought that he would make a great father. In Hanks mind he was feeling overwhelming joy, the last few years had been so tough for him and this, this was all he could ever want. He had loved Justin with all his heart, but since he had died a black void had overtaken his heart. His grandson had briefly filled it, but that had been taken away again as they left as well. Finally, he had something that could fill this hole, a woman he loved infinitely and had made the biggest mistake of his life by letting her go. And a son, that he would hopefully watch grew up day by day, as a nice, happy family.
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Taglist: @mileika @redpoodlern @yosoynicolexo @chazubagi@scarletsoldierrr @cindydoll2 @anotherfan07 @one-sweet-gubler
Want to join my taglist? Click Here
#chicago pd#chicago pd imagines#chicago pd x reader#one chicago#hank voight x reader#hank voight#hank voight imagines
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paint wars part 2
OKAY HERE IT IS! PART TWO TO PAINT WARS
if u haven’t read part one, i’ll link it right here
word count: 3k (yikes it’s a long one)
_______________________________
paint wars part 2
Things had been rough lately.
Real fucking rough.
You missed Corpse so much. You hadn’t spoken to each other since that fight at his apartment and that was fifty-four days ago now, almost two thirds of a season you’d been without him.
“I miss you.” You spoke aloud into the emptiness of your apartment, noting that the time on your phone now said 12:01am. It was officially now day fifty-five without speaking to him.
You swiped away all your notifications on your lock screen, ignoring everything and everyone that was trying to reach you right now so you could look at the person who was ignoring you. You wanted to look at the photo that was still your wallpaper. That first photo you’d ever taken together.
You went to change it on day thirty-eight of not speaking. On night thirty-seven of not speaking you’d gone out with your friends, they’d finally convinced you after a whole month of trying and you got absolutely wasted. So of course you’d called Corpse. But he didn’t answer, not any of the fifteen times you’d called. So that next morning, when you woke up hungover and saw that same lock screen photo and not one response from him, you told yourself you were going to change it. You tried to tell yourself you were angry, but it was just a coping mechanism to ignore the hurt that had been tunnelling through your heart since being without him. You spent an hour scouring tumblr and twitter for some aesthetically pleasing lock screen, but you didn’t save a single one. Nothing could compare to that photo of you and Corpse.
You then started to wonder if he’d listened to any of the voicemails you’d left the night before. You couldn’t remember them exactly, but you knew you definitely left four of them and how badly you wanted to know if the curiosity became too much to bear and he’d listened to them.
And he had.
On night thirty-seven, while you were out drinking, Corpse was in a deep sleep. He hadn’t been sleeping a whole lot lately, so finally, he’d crashed hard that night and slept through the calls you’d made to him. But even though he wasn’t aware of the calls in his sleeping state, you were still present in his dreamland. Every adventure his brain took him on was with you, maybe it was something that kept him asleep, the fact that you were right there in this fantasy. You were talking to him again, he could see your smile, hear your laugh, reach out and grab your hand, he could kiss you again. It was happiness. But then he woke up and he went to reach out for you in his bed, still caught up in the false wonder his dreams had provided him, only to find it was just him and reality slapped him fully awake. You weren’t there with him. You hadn’t been for a number of weeks. He missed you.
On day thirty-eight, when he spotted the missed calls from you on his phone, he cursed himself for being asleep and missing it. But would he had answered had he been awake? He wasn’t sure. So instead, he heard you speak to him for the first time in so long, even if it was through a voicemail you had left in the space of him not answering your calls.
“Oh, fuck- oh my god.”
That was it. That was the first voicemail, there was a lot of background noise but he had heard you so clearly. In your drunken state, you didn’t know what to say, so that’s what you had left with him, until you called back and left another.
"Hi.” You started it simple. He had the phone clutched so tightly in his hand, the device pressed so firmly against his ear, he didn’t want to miss a word. “I- I don’know what to say.” He noticed the slight slur to your words then, you were drunk when you had called. “I’m’a just go.”
You hung up again, but alas, there was another.
“Can I just ask... are you ignoring me?” Your voice was so meek, his chest hurt at the sound of it. He almost went to say no, but this was a one sided conversation, he’d missed the opportunity. “I miss you.” You hung up again, and he had to stop himself from replaying it over and over again to hear you say that you missed him.
But there was one last voice mail.
“I should stop calling, huh?” You sighed and he could picture you with a sad pout, your eyes all droopy with a mix emotion and alcohol. “But, I just want’a talk to you.” You confessed, then he heard another voice call your name in the background before they spoke to you and he listened. “(Y/N)! Here you are, what are you doing? That guys wondering where you are, he’s fucking hot-”
Corpse hung up then, he didn’t want to hear anymore. Jealousy was surging through him as the unwanted images of you with someone else plagued his mind and he threw his phone across his room. Wishing he hadn’t of started listening to those fucking voicemails.
What he didn’t know, though, is how the rest of that last voicemail went.
“I really don’t care.” You’d told your friend at the mention of the guy. Yeah, he was attractive and he was buying you drinks, but you wanted no one except Corpse. “Give me a sec.” You’d told your friend before walking away again, bringing your phone back to your ear to talk to the only person you wanted to talk to right now, even if he wasn’t on the other end of that call. “I hope you didn’t hear that, but if you did, don’t worry it. I’m g’na go home now.” You sighed and looked up at the night sky, there was no shooting star, or really any stars at all because of the light pollution from where you currently were, but you were still wishing that by some magic happenstance, Corpse would pick up his phone and speak to you again. “I wish I was going to yours.”
On day thirty-nine you cried so hard. You thought you had made it past this violently sobbing stage, this was exact state you’d cried yourself to sleep to each night for the first few weeks. Your heart was in so much pain, it was torn apart and you swore only one person had the power to stitch it back together, but he wasn’t there. You hadn’t heard a single thing from him. Were you two still together? Had you broken up? You weren’t even sure. But on day thirty-nine you cried that hard again because Corpse hadn’t responded at all to your calls or voicemails, so you convinced yourself he truly wanted nothing to do with you.
You’d been avoiding searching his name on social media, knowing it would send you into a spiral and you’d overthink every little thing but on day forty-two you’d noticed on twitter that he was playing games live. He wasn’t live himself, but you watched someone’s stream just to hear him again. You cried again doing this, because he was being exceptionally quiet, he wasn’t his normal self, he barely laughed once.
You wished you hadn’t clicked on it. The guilt you felt was already immense, but hearing him so not like himself made you feel even worse for causing all of this. You stopped watching, you couldn’t bear it. You knew you were to blame for all of this, you pushed him too far, you couldn’t believe how stupidly you had acted, you knew better and you did it anyway. The self attacking thoughts kept swirling your mind until you gave yourself a headache.
On day fifty-six of still not talking to each other, you ventured out to the beach with just your best friend. She’d been there for you a lot lately, she also felt bad about that night, but you tried to assured her it was your own fault. She didn’t know Corpse like you did, she didn’t know him at all, that’s why you felt to blame for not stopping the idea before it was too late.
“You should put sunscreen on.” Your best friend told you. You were laying on your towel in the direct sun, enjoying the warmth blasting into your skin, you hadn’t been to the beach in such a long time.
“Yeah.” You answered her, but you knew you weren’t going to. Another time, you would have, you knew the familiar sting of sunburn well and you normally put it on to look after your skin, but you hadn’t really been taking care of yourself too well lately, you just didn’t care enough.
On night fifty-six, you stood in front of your bathroom mirror looking over your body. You’d spent a lot longer at the beach than you realised and now you were burnt so badly and as red as a tomato. “Fuck.” You said out loud, turning and looking over your shoulder to inspect your back, it was just as red. You should’ve worn sunscreen. You left your bathroom to go find your aloe vera plant, only to find that it was dead. “Fuck!” You repeated, the one hope you had to help heal your skin even slightly quickly vanishing. “Oh, fuck. What am I going to do?”
That’s how you found yourself heading towards a 24 hour store to purchase whatever aloe vera cream or gel you could find, you knew it wouldn’t be as good as the plant itself, but you needed something. It was late and you were anxious as you neared the shop, you knew about this place from Corpse, he would often go there at odd hours to get whatever he needed. It was close to his place and you hadn’t driven around this area since that disaster of a night.
You squinted your eyes as you walked in and the harsh fluorescent lights pierced into your eyes after walking in from the night time. You were walking quickly and you told yourself it was because you were embarrassed about your skin being so burnt and you didn’t want anyone to see you like this, but it was really because you were so anxious over the thought of who you could potentially run into in this shop. Your swift steps brought you to the skin care isle and you let your eyes scan the shelves for the aloe vera you so desperately sought out.
“(Y/N)?”
You froze completely and you swore you even felt your heart stop beating. Hearing his voice speak your name again felt like lighting had struck right through you. This couldn’t be real, this had to be your imagination playing some sort of sick joke on you. Slowly, you turned towards the direction his voice had come from and sure enough, there he was. Dressed in all black, a beanie on his head and a mask over the bottom half of his face, your eyes locked with his. There was a pull in your chest, your heart had heard him, too and it wanted so badly to be with him, to be healed by him. You had thought up this scenario a million times over these past fifty-six days, of what would happen had you and him had a run in like this and in every single one you had so much to say, but right now, you were speechless.
Before you had a chance to even try to say anything if you managed to stop being stuck in silence, Corpse spoke again.
“Fucking hell,” He neared you and you sucked in a quick breath at his sudden movement. “Look how burnt you are.” You were wearing tights and an oversized hoodie, so your entire body was covered, but your face was just as burnt and clearly he had noticed.
This was another aspect that didn’t fit into your scenarios you’d thought up about this moment. You’d imagined you would’ve look amazing. But instead of looking like some beautiful mermaid, you were the same colour as Ariel’s hair from The Little Mermaid. “I know, don’t look at me.” You huffed and dropped your head down, letting your beach waved hair fall around your face.
“You didn’t wear sunscreen?”
“Obviously not.”
“That was silly.”
“I know.”
“Are you sore?”
“Yeah.” It felt so natural to have this back and forth with him. It was brief, but it was enough for your heart to kick back into gear and speed up.
He stayed silent for a prolonged moment so you looked back to his face and his eyes were on your face but it was his turn to glance away then and you took the opportunity to really soak in his side profile. You’d even missed just being able to look at him.
“Why are you here?” He asked you.
“I need aloe vera and I knew this place would be open.”
“You’re not using your plant?” Butterflies fluttered inside of you that he remembered a simple mundane fact that you preferred the healing touch of the actual plant for sunburn as opposed to what was bought at a store in a bottle.
“It died.”
Corpse suddenly looked back to you and much to your surprise, he laughed.
“Why are you laughing?!”
“How do you kill a succulent?”
“You know I’m not good at gardening and shit like that.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d be able to kill a succulent.” He laughed harder and you started to smile, he was teasing you but it felt so right. And hearing his laughter filled you with a warmth you’d been missing.
“Shut up.” You told him, but you were beginning to laugh too. “It’s hard to keep plants alive.”
“(Y/N), succulents are pretty much impossible to kill.”
“Okay, I get it, I didn’t purposely murder my aloe vera plant.”
“Oh, baby.” The pet name slipped so easily from his lips but it caught you both off guard, so the both of you stopped laughing and your postures stiffened.
Briefly, your eyes met but each of you darted your vision elsewhere. However, neither of you made no effort to move away from one another.
“Sorry.” Corpse said softly.
“It’s okay.” And it was, so okay. You wanted to tell him that hearing him call you baby was all you’d been wanting to hear again over these almost fifty-seven days without him. “I should really get this aloe vera gel on me, though.” You really didn’t want to leave him, but you couldn’t stand in this store forever.
“Are you sunburnt all over?” He asked.
“Yeah.” You sighed
And just as instinctively as the pet name had slipped out, his hands started to move towards the sleeve of your jumper. But he stopped himself when you flinched slightly and he quickly realised what he was doing. “Sorry, can I see?”
“I mean, you can, but I don’t want you to do it because it does really fucking hurt. That’s why I jumped, not because I don’t want you to touch me.” You answered him quickly. “I do want you to touch me- wait, I mean, no.” If your face wasn’t already red from the sunburn, it would have become red then from the blush you could feel forming. And if your skin wasn’t in pain you would have facepalmed yourself. “Sorry.” You apologised then.
“It’s okay.”
Shaking your head, you began to gently slide the sleeve of your big hoodie up.
“Fuck, (Y/N).” Corpse cursed, concern filling him as your skin was practically glowing from the burn it had copped. “You can’t do that to yourself.”
“I know.”
“How long were you at the beach?”
“All day pretty much.”
“You’re that burnt all over?”
“Yeah, I mean, some spots are worse. I think my back and shoulders are probably the worst. They hurt the most.”
He moved to step around you then, disappearing out of your sight as he was now standing behind you. “Can I?”
“Yeah, just be careful.”
And he made sure to keep his movements cautious, he decided on looking from the top, his hands grabbing the neck on the back of your hoodie to pull it back ever so gently so he could inspect. His eyes widened in a combination horror, worry and sympathy. He’d seen you get sunburnt before, but never to this extent. “Oh my fucking god.” The contrast between where the strap of your togs sat over your shoulder, blocking a sliver of your skin from the sun to keep it its natural colour versus the red that was brought from the burn was insane. “It looks like someone has painted you.”
“I mean, I guess the sun did. Just in a really painful way.”
“You’re not planning on going to the beach anytime soon, right?” Corpse carefully released your hoodie then and stepped in front of you once more. Distress was so present on his face, despite most of it being covered. He was so worried about you in this moment.
“Definitely not. The only thing I’m planning on is not going outside in any sunlight until my skin is healed.”
“Living like me.”
“Guess so.”
“My aloe vera plant is alive.” He stated.
“Wow, you’re really just going to flex that right now? Trying to kick me while I’m down.” You joked back, assuming he was teasing you.
“No, I mean...” He trailed off, his eyes struggling to stay on yours as he continued. “You could come over and use it, I know you like the real stuff better and I could help do your back, or wherever you can’t reach.” He was nervous, but he really didn’t have to be.
You could feel it happening, your heart beginning to heal.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Do you want to?”
“Yeah.”
#corpse#corpse husband#corpse x reader#corpse husband fanfiction#corpse husband imagine#corpse husband x reader#writing#mine
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Can you please do a part 2 of toxic jun getting Y/N pregnant, where he comes to her apartment and they fight about the baby but they end up having rough sex, where yeonjun says:”Well, you’re already pregnant with my baby so there is no point in doing things calm” or something so he kinda adds up to it anyways?! idk please!
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜!𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭
𝐖/𝐂 | 2.5k
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | (𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥) 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐝!𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐱
you sit on your living room couch with your knees to your chest staring at the ultrasound pictures splayed out on the coffee table. you couldn’t believe yourself. getting pregnant by yeonjun who barely even claimed the child in the first place. you wondered how could you be so stupid. but you know there was no way you could do this alone. you were still young and had a lot of growing up to do and combining that with caring for a child, you knew it was impossible.
and this was the very reason why there was now a knock at your door. you invited yeonjun over so he could see the pregnancy process for himself since he thought the child wasn’t his. feeling a little guilty for not claiming the baby firsthand, yeonjun knocks on your door coldly before stuffing his hands back in his coat pocket. you unlock the door opening it slightly before letting him in. you grabbed the pictures and slapped them on the kitchen counter for him to see.
you crossed your arms while watching him get a good look. “the doctor says I’m three months pregnant yeonjun. and you’re the only guy I’ve been sleeping with these past months”.
yeonjun shakes his head with his eyes still plastered on the pictures. “how do I even know that?”.
“you know because I’m telling you. I haven’t had sex with anyone else”.
“there’s no way that this is my child”.
“then whose child is it yeonjun? please tell me. I can’t believe you’re even acting like this”.
he shifts his eyes over to you. “I don’t even know why you invited me over for this bullshit. you heard what I said last time”.
“and you were wrong last time so I want you to see it for yourself”.
“what? did you think it was going to change my mind?”.
“why are you acting like such an asshole yeonjun?! why? why are you acting like it’s not a possibility?”.
“because it’s not”.
with anger rushing through your veins you pushed him backwards.
“yes there is! you’re the father why can’t you just accept that?! you’re a coward!”.
“don’t call me that”.
“you are!! there’s no other explanation for why you’re not owning up to it“.
“fuck you. I’m leaving I don’t have to deal with this shit”. he snatches up his car keys to walk towards the door but you push it shut before he could even touch the doorknob.
“you’re not going anywhere”. you say, caging him with your arms.
he leans in your face, thinking about how cute it was to see you thinking that you were stronger than him. “I can go wherever the hell I want”. he hisses.
you breathe with his face only inches from yours. he’s staring you deep in your eyes and you felt your legs turn into jelly right then and there. “you fuck me all the time,”-- you say, “so why do you think you can‘t be the father of my child huh?”.
“because it’s not mine. I’m not claiming something that I didn’t make. now get the fuck off the door so I can go”.
with a clenched jaw you mindlessly threw frustrated blows at his chest. you felt your face grow hot. “its yours yeonjun!! it’s fucking yours!”.
“stop!”,
“no! because you don’t fucking listen to me you don’t care!! all you care about is yourself!”.
within seconds yeonjun threw you over his shoulder angrily, you were thrown back down onto your bed.
“all those fucking cheap shots will get you nowhere. I said what I said”.
you lean up on your elbows, “because you’re a coward! just admit you’re scared”.
“I’m not a coward”.
“yes you are!”.
“no i’m not”.
“yes you are!”.
yeonjun grips your thighs and roughly slides you down to the edge of the bed. he grips a piece of your hair pinning it down to the sheets.
“stop calling me that”.
you stared at his wet pink lips. “or what? what are you going to do about it?”.
he shadowed his lips over yours and didn’t hesitate to mash them both. you hungrily kissed back with his tongue pushing past your clenched teeth to the moist space ahead. breathy, heavy, with your hearts pounding he grips your waist as if to keep you from escaping. you hated to admit it but you loved the way he kissed you so passionate and rough as if he was trying to flatten your lips.
his tongue licks stripes across your neck while you gasp and he’s shoving his hand behind the waistband of your shorts. you twitch at the feeling of his bare fingers running circles around your clit. measly whimpers bypassed your lips and his dark eyes poured into yours. he loved seeing you like this. your eyes half lidded, your mouth slightly parted and your needy noises flooding the atmosphere. he starts dragging his fingers up and down your slit while mushing his lips onto yours again, breathing in the moans that were waiting to leave your throat.
you felt yourself grow hot and wet the more he touched you. and with two fingers yeonjun teases your entrance slightly before pushing them both in. your jaw dropped a bit lower and you gasp while gaping into his eyes. he leans down and plants kisses along your jawline while inching his fingers in and out of you steadily. his other hand was still gripping your hair and pinning it down to the bed, restricting head movement of any kind. so you were trapped under the aggression of yeonjun’s lips and his gradual increasing fingers.
“is this what you called me over for?”. he whispers before kissing the corner of your lips. he pushes his fingers deeper into your core and you whimpered against his chin. “oh my god”.
“so we can fight and fuck?”. he asks again, this time staring down into your hopeless eyes while hiding his bottom lip behind his upper set of teeth. he knew you couldn’t answer and that’s exactly what turned him on. he uses his thumb to work your clit while he was finger fucking you at a rhythm that made you want to cry. the gaspy needy moans that you made was enough to make yeonjun’s dick twitch in his jeans. you shake your head no since you were unable to use your voice. he slides his tongue in your mouth for another wet sloppy kiss.
“you’re a liar”. you were throbbing around his fingers and words couldn’t explain how wet you were. you bucked your hips up a little following the melody of his strokes, wanting him so desperately bad that you didn’t care how you got your fix. he drags your shorts and panties down carelessly tossing them to the side. his lips meet your again while he unzips his jeans and stuffs his dick in place of his lost fingers. with your body moving up your grip his shirt blissfully satisfied with the way he stretched and filled you. he pulls you back down to the edge of the bed by your thighs and grips your hair tighter. he teased you with painfully slow strokes looking down into your open mouth and euphoric gaze.
“fuckk baby--do you hear yourself?”. he glances down below just to watch how your wetness coated his dick each time he pulled out. “oh my god”. he breathes with his dick twitching inside of you in need. what started off as painfully slow strokes turned into wild, rabid thrusts while you moaned loudly into jun’s mouth. with your hair still pinned to the bed he’s practically growling into your ear about how good you feel around him and fucking you insanely rough as if he’d never get the chance again. you felt hopeless with his hips rolling into you and you being able to do nothing but moan his name and cry.
the bed rocks, squeaked and jolt at the aggression of yeonjun and you didn’t know if you felt bad for the bed or your neighbors, because you couldn’t stop cursing and groaning at how deep yeonjun had buried himself inside you. he lost all restraint and was now obsessed with how flushed you looked every time he looked down at you. this fucked out sight was enough for yeonjun to grip your thighs leaving deep angry bruises in the both of them while he fucked you into oblivion. his chest was panting and you could tell he was trying to control his breathing but he just couldn’t stop himself. he delve into you over and over again with desperation. he bends down to let his teeth sink softly into your neck creating hickeys that you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide if you tried.
“junnie I’m going to cumm!”. you whined at his brutality knowing you were in for a hard gut wrenching orgasm if he didn’t stop. he applied pressure to your clit with his thumb, “please cum all over me”. he groans feeling himself about to reach his end too. and at the sound of his voice while he said those exact words you released right then and there. he was still fucking you even while your body was spasming from the orgasm he was giving you and you couldn’t stop cumming until he was finished. you whined each time your hips jerked up and panted eagerly for the right amount of air. at the feeling of his hot cum spilling into you you felt his soft lips attach themselves to your neck with his dick still twitching inside of you.
“the bbaby--is yours jun”. you stutter in shame that you even let him fuck you again after his big episode. you blink and his lips meet yours again, this time more passionate than rough.
“I know baby. I know”. he answers.
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Saeran’s Passport Package
I’ve been waiting since the 19th to get my hands on this baby and I’m glad that it got here today. It took me a little bit to sit down and go through everything cause I wanted to cry about it the entire time.
Spoilers Ahead, everyone. So, if you’re not interested in seeing what’s in the Passport set AFTER the events of Saeran’s After Ending, then do not click Read More, got it? I’ve made it clear to you. I will say that it’s worth the money if you’re debating buying it.
So, we can go over the contents in the box, first as an overview. You receive a letter stamped with a cute sticker as well as the passport itself which holds the notes that Saeran’s been taking and drawing since this all started. I just think that’s cute. My brain said don’t open that passport until we review the letter first so, why don’t we go over the letter first? The little details are really cute. There’s just so many stamps on this baby.
The little touches are what sell it. You’ve got this man putting his love all over it and there’s a CUTE NOTE of CATS. Sir, was that a touch to Saeyoung? I know you know that your brother is a dork. Homage to brother who is an idiot but too glaringly obvious. It got a chuckle out of me. I know this man, and it’s just getting to me.
The passport itself is also really cute. It has the art from the promo banner but instead of everyone hustling around together, there’s new poses and all of that jazz. Jaehee isn’t rushing around. Zen’s got a selfie stick, no surprise on that front. Jumin just chilling. Seven and Yoosung... doing what they do best and you know it. RUN, YOOSUNG, RUN.
Saeran and MC... being cute on the inside made me go, “Aw!” Ice cream. They can really just put ice cream and it’s going to make me cry, huh? Really? Is that how easy this is? Am I a joke to you, Cheritz? Is that what this is?
Now, if you want to talk about the contents in the letter, you get this sheet that is listed in three languages, surprised me, Korean, Spanish, and English, and it lets you tick off little things that you like to do. An itinerary sheet. I feel like this is purely Jumin crafting these. It asks about Cats. Literally. Cats. Wine? Yeah, this is on Jumin. You always come in flex, Jumin, but oh boy, I’m chuckling over here at these little touches.
You get 2 boarding passes. One with Saeran’s name and one with a blank to fill in your name. I thought that was cute. Tying in that with the CG of the passes in the game with this just makes it more real to me. I’m holding this in my hands and it just makes my immersion feel much more real than it did when I was holding my phone in my hand and playing this out.
I think merch like this just makes you feel more apart of the story then you do when you’re able to talk and chat, you know? If you really like feeling like you are involved with the game, this is how you do it. You wanna know how I know that Jumin is the one setting this up with Saeran? Flip over the fucking passport and you realize that Elizabeth is on the back.
I’m still laughing.
I’m trying to imagine this and now, like, I’m starting to see why Jaehee is so damn tired because Elizabeth really is on everything that he can get his hands on and she’s good too many files to sort through when it comes to whatever the photographers take of her. Jumin can’t take photos. He’s either got Jihyun to do this for him at some point, or he’s straight up hiring photographers for her cause he can’t do it.
I mean, we all know that Jumin will put Elizabeth everywhere but I just— It’s on the BOARDING PASSES? JUMIN!
There’s also a postcard within the letter that is once more, written in all three aforementioned languages. Saeran says that it feels like a dream when he is with you, like this is where he’s always meant to be. His promise of happiness is made truest when he’s with you. I teared up a little. I know that he means well when he does that but damn, does it take an arrow to the heart every single time he does it.
Saeran put a lot of thought into this in a very short amount of time. I know that he did this plan likely with the idea that he may not be able to go with us but he wanted us to be able to see the world for him. You know, how he implied that he wanted Saeyoung to see things for him? To live for him? Even if he was dead, he wanted Saeyoung and the player to be happy and free.
The blurred state on those... doesn’t have names. It doesn’t name Saeran in this photo.
The implication of his sacrifice with the boarding passes kind of hurts because this is a side note of the fact that Saeran Did Not Know If He Would Live To See This Through. He made it thinking maybe.. if things worked out, it would be an okay future, but this was... God. I just. I’m thinking about the weight of the AE and what that felt like. I almost glossed over the Boarding Pass because I was just so upset with him.
I’m the type to try to sacrifice myself for others, too. I have that in common with Saeyoung and Saeran.
I think that we’d argue over who should die for the others and while that’s macabre, it’s just the kind of people that we are. We love these people so much that we’re willing to die if they’re safe and sound. Knowing that, I understand what Saeran tried, and even what Saeyoung tries, but it’s hard cause I want to make sure they’re happy in comparison to myself.
This is where being selfless is a bad thing.
Does anyone know what a big deal it is for Saeran to have a passport? He’s never had an ID or paperwork in his entire life. If he did, he would’ve been killed, so would his brother. They���re both never had IDs. Unless you count the ones from the Agency and Mint Eye. They’ve got them in the Believer box with their names and faces, but that’s not official. That’s not paperwork that everyone else has. That’s just...
You know?
Seeing this tangible thing in my hands is a testament to Saeran Choi being alive and thriving. He’s not afraid of showing his face. He’s living. He’s a free man and nobody can kill him for existing. Does that not weigh on anyone here? It hit me and I wanted to cry. I might break down thinking about this later because I just take this too seriously. Look at him. Look at HIM. Okay? Did you look? Now, LOOK AGAIN.
Okay, I’m not going to share every single page inside of the passport but I will give you little snippets of the journey ahead and show you what he writes and draws. Yes, he’s drawing. I knew that he was talented because he is great at doodling and drawing, but he knows how to have such a cute style that I want to gush about and he probably has no clue about how cute it is because nobody’s ever told him!
Okay, so the trip is broken up over a few months and into segments. You know how I was surprised by the 3 languages? Yes, this passport is written in three languages and it stays that way. It implies that Saeran knows English and Spanish, or at the very least, he’s been studying them, I get that it’s kind of a neat tie in to make sure that all languages are included but I only English and I can only read Spanish, I suck at conversational Spanish, so I could only read the English and Spanish sections.
So, if anyone wants to throw in what the Korean segments say, please do. I have a rough idea, but it’d be nice to know. The first segment of the trip is spent traveling over Korea. You see the things that he packed in the bag!
I almost had a heart attack because I thought the vitamins were Caffeine Pills. I was about to beat my Husband and make him go to bed. Thin ice, Saeran. Thin ice, the Special Believer package implied you take more then ten and I want you to go the fuck to sleep at night.
He packed his hanbok! Look! You remember? From the title screen event? The blue shirt is the one that he matches with MC in. There’s so much I’m screaming about it.
It shows you things that you do. Like, biking, karaoke, gardens... is there a locket bridge in Korea? You know? If you put them together on a bridge, it’s said that your love lasts forever. I forget where that came from but I guess there must be one in South Korea, too. Oh, and food. Can you believe that he can eat whatever he wants now? I’m sobbing.
Please.
HE’S IN HANBOK. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Okay, here’s the thing. I only have one gripe with the Passport Package and I’m going to say this again at the end, but I really wish that they had included big photos for this because the Passport itself it rather small and I wish that I could have bigger photos of this. It’s my only complaint. Literally, it’s the only thing I have to say about the box that will affect my rating. Look, we’re doing cheesy couple stuff!
HE’S DOING THE HEART THING WITH HIS HANDS.
A KISS.
KISS.
GUSHING.
DYING. HELP. ME.
God, I wish I wasn’t broke. I would commission someone to do this for my MC.
The second and third portion of the trip are spent in the U.S.A. and Mexico, I was so surprised by that! New York and Hawaii specifically are what they name and I was. Well, those are really far apart, huh. I mean, those are very popular spots. I’m not surprised. I’m chuckling because he’s got matching outfits.
Saeran Choi, you really want the embarrassing couple look, don’t you? Well, if it’s for you, I’d do it. Did... Saeyoung or Jumin set us up, are we fucking loaded? There’s mad bank here.
Saeran and MC basically are living per Jumin and Saeyoung, to be honest, because Saeran’s never had a job and MC is... your MC literally agrees to go and test a game in the woods, how good can our lives be? I’m broke, boy. I ain’t got nothing. So, I like to think that those two are offering to let Saeran be as happy and free as he wants. No expense. Like, kindness. The RFA is too damn much, I’m gonna cry. I’m starting to understand why the RFA didn’t hear from us for months.
The final Check-In with the RFA is set 6 Months after the events that take place when we save Saeran. The events of this Passport cover 3 months. So, we go back to Korea after this adventure and met up with Saeyoung, because we know that we’re hanging out with him in the conclusion. So, if they haven’t really heard from us, that means that we’ve been traveling more with him.
I kind of like that.
We’re spending time with Saeran alone and time with the brothers together, and that’s sweet! I love that. I need to write more about it.
I’m trying not to laugh about this Mexico portion but it looks like he passed out from an ice tea... lemonade...? It’s surely not alcohol. Maybe too much sugar, I know that crash can hurt. I’ve been there. I just know that you’re not implying the man with alcohol trauma is gonna drink. Nope. Neither he nor Saeyoung ever will do that. I stand by that statement and I’ll die by that statement. Bite me my tongue if I’m wrong, but I stand by that.
Saeran is at least mindful of the sun. He’s also made notes that the perfect time for sunset is 18:34. Cute. He notes that it’s time for the Day of the Dead as well, so that’s fun!
IS THAT A FUCKING V CACTUS—
TWO V CACTUS—
There’s actually a portion in here where he asks you certain questions and you have the space to fill in it. I like that it’s interactive.
Do you have favorites sweets? Are there things about yourself that you hide? Did you make sure to ask Santa what you wanted? I’m wheezing. The food doodles are one thing, and the Christmas photo is one thing, but he really drew himself as a butterfly and the MC as a bug catcher.
“CATCH ME, MC.”
Help me.
I’m laughing so hard.
Saeran, you fucking goofball.
And, the last page of the passport is us assumedly returning home with all kinds of trinkets and gifts. Flower crown, snow globe, cactus, hats, listen, there’s a lot of details in this photos that I really wish I could have it blown up.
That’s really my only complaint about the Passport Package. I really want to have bigger photos that are shared. I wouldn’t have minded if it was the photo of the final CG in the game, or the Christmas photo, I really would have enjoyed getting that to have for myself.
You know? The passport itself is roughly like 5 x 7 or so, so while it’s not big, it’s still like. I would love to see the details blown up. It’s smaller then the diary, that I know for sure. I think it’s the only thing stopping from giving Cheritz a 10/10 on this item.
I’m going to have to give them a 9.8/10 simply because it feels like we are lacking one big photo.
I guess I’ll print my favorite CGs and decorate my room like that. But, all and all, I really enjoyed reading this and it made it feel like I was there and I was able to reflect on Saeran’s vacation with the player. Like, he was doing this as we were going using his little doodles... I’m in love with this fucking sap. I’d say that this is worth the money.
For sure.
My only gripe aside. That’s a personal problem, not really a content problem. I love this bastard.
Look at him, he’s GOT A PLUSHIE. I have so many things that I want to write about now thanks to this. Saeran, darling, sweetie, my love, I am dying. Either way, I’m glad this arrived when it did. I needed this. I justified getting this for myself because I don’t expect to get anything for my birthday in early February but I’m happy I have him.
It’s been five years since I found this game in August 2016. I’m happy that it’s been here with me.
#SaeranAfterEnding#saeran ae#saeran after ending#mm#mysme#mysticmessenger#mystic messenger#mystic messenger saeran#saeran mysme#saeran mystic messenger#saeran mm#mm saeran#mysme saeran#saeran#saeran choi#choi saeran#saeray#ge saeran#mod kait#spoilers#spoiler#long post
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Headcanons for being Diego Hargreeves’ child
Diego Hargreeves x child!reader
warnings: knifes, blood, guns, death mentions, mental hospital
a/n:
prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Could you please write a “The Umbrella Academy” Diego Hargreeves x daughter reader headcanon? I always think Diego is such a overprotective softie dad ♥️♥️”
deigo really said “?????”
how dad
but also he’d just the most loving dad anyone could ever ask for
✨it’s because he was never loved by his dad✨
“hi cutie, i love you, i love you, i love youuuuu”
he locked away all his weapons so that you couldn’t hurt yourself on them
but he always missed a few and he’d turn around and see you holding throwing knives and just FREAK OUT
“no, no, no, you may not have those! knives are for big boys like me, not babies”
“give back”
“‘give back?’ are you nuts?”
diego has conversations with lil you as if you know what the fuck he means dhshshhshs
as you got older, you became more interested in his “career”
“no, i dont care if you have powers or not! you have a bedtime, that means no vigilantism, you hear me?”
“if i say ‘no’ can i be a vigilante?”
“you know what? how about you clean up the gym for al so he doesn’t evict us?”
you did not sign up for this
you really wanted to meet your aunts and uncles, but you weren’t exactly sure they knew about you
i mean, you knew you had a cousin but everyone knew about her because aunt allison was a goshdarn celebrity
“dad, i want to meet the family!”
“no you don’t”
end of discussion
despite having a bedtime, you still watched movies late at night with your dad
he really liked marvel movies
“come on, that would never happen!”
“you come from a family of superpowered kids, a robot mom, and a monkey, and you’re upset about...a guy that shoots arrows?”
“maybe i am, what’re you gonna do about it?”
you ask about umbrella academy stories a lot, you your dad usually makes it about him
“and then i punched that guy in the face! and then i stabbed him in the leg because he was a dick! bet you’re friend’s dads arent as cool as me”
*yawning bc you’ve heard this story a million times*
you go to public school
you do have your dad’s last name
which occasionally gets recognized
“woah! wasn’t your dad a superhero?”
“i have no idea what youre talking about” :)
practicing your knife throwing while diego is away, him coming home to find his knifes stuck through various targets
so proud but he had to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself
you actually had to learn how to patch him up because he did come home a bit battered and bruised several times
“im okay, y/n. no need to freak”
“dad, there is literally blood dripping on the floor will you just sit down and stay still for five goddamn minutes?”
“woah, who the fuck taught you to cuss?”
watching the news at home when your grandfather was reportedly dead
you were actually very upset because you wanted to meet him so bad
even if he was a dick
your dad came home silent and you knew he knew
“you okay?”
“oh, yeah, im better than okay!”
finally getting the chance to meet your family
“who are you?” -allison
“im, uh, y/n. diego is my dad”
*jaw dropping*
and you know what? that happened four more times (plus ben but you didn’t get to see that)
“and you are?” -luther
“who’s the...the little one?” -klaus
“well, what do you know? diego’s a dad” -five
“don’t tell me that’s...no way” -ben
“you’re diego’s? wow, i can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone” -vanya
“i...i know who all of you are” -you
diego bragging about how perfect you are while everyone simultaneously rolls their eyes
“well, y/n, maybe one day we’ll schedule a playdate for you and claire” -allison
“‘playdate?’ how old do you think i am?...but yes i wanna meet her”
“god, you’re so much like diego, it’s unsettling”
you had been secretly training at al’s gym during your dad’s late night activities
so when trouble came your way, you were able to handle yourself pretty well
“where the hell did you learn that?”
“al showed me a few moves!”
“that old man? you’re kidding”
you met your grandmother, grace, who was tasked with keeping you safe at all times
you actually loved her sm
but there was something a bit off about her
besided the fact she was a robot
klaus snuck you out so that you two could have BoNdInG tImE
it wasn’t all bad
ben was a lil choked up that he got to meet one of his niblings
“they’re perfect”
“they just stabbed someone, buddy”
“who are you talking to?”
FIVE EVEN SCHEMED WITH YOU
“okay, y/n, i need you to curve something when i throw it, got that? right at that security guard”
“what are you throwing?”
“you’ll know when you see it, make your uncle five proud”
“IS THAT A GUN”
<3 family
running into patch!!
“hey, kid, i just saw your dad. i thought i told you to handcuff him to the radiator when you were away?”
“yeah, well, he wouldve chewed his hand off so here we are”
that was the last time you saw her :/
well, your dad was now a wanted man
“what happened to your arm?”
“no”
you actually didn’t expect this family reunion to go south like this
wait—yes you did
vanya has powers????
“i thought vanya was the one without powers?”
“yeah. so did we.”
diego straight up did not want you anywhere near that
but you, again, were his child and also fuck authority you do what you want
the vibe is almost getting shot several times
by hazel, cha cha, and “commission” guys?
going 2 ur auntie’s concert 😌✨
“y/n, hide in the bathroom and stay there until i come get you”
“dad, i love you, but no”
“y/n, i love you too, but yes”
“no”
“yes”
“NO”
“YES”
you won
but in the end (or not so much) you time traveled to...1961?
without any of your family
“this is...this is not good”
understatement of the year(s)
what was a kid like you gonna do in dallas, texas in 1961
no seriously, what
it was rough, but you managed to survive on your own
and open a paper in 1963 to find a mugshot of your dad
“son of a—”
visiting dad! (two years later)
“y/n? oh my god, y/n! shit, i missed you so much! why do you look different? you’re bigger, oh god. how long have you been here?”
“2 years, dad. you?”
his hair was so LONG
“2 months”
“christ, that’s it?!”
“i have to stop jfk from being assassinated”
“what makes you think that’s a good idea???”
“its the right thing to do, wanna help?”
“shit, i guess. as long as i dont end up here”
“no promises, people in the 60’s are crazy”
diego: 👁👄👁
you: 👀
running into five on the street soon after
“uncle five?”
“no time to talk”
“okay, asshole? i’ve been here for 2 years and you dont care?”
“two years, huh? i spent 45 years in a post apocalyptic world as a 13 year old and beyond”
“i didn’t say it was a competition, dude. you kinda dropped us all at different times. at least, me and dad. he—”
“is trying to kill lee harvey oswald, i know. come with me”
finally running into your other aunts and uncles, who were so excited to see you
you ran into their arms and they picked you off the ground and you felt closer than ever after only knowing them for 10 days
dad broke out
lila too
“im your new mom!”
“you’re what?”
diego dragged you along with him almost everywhere
he had missed you so much, but he keeps forgetting you kinda grew up without him for a while longer
meeting grandpa :)
“a grandchild, huh? how unfortunate”
“bitch”
“what did you just call me?”
“a bitch.”
your dad and basically the entire table trying to hold back laughter
reggie was stunned
cold hearted just like him <3 he didn’t know if he was offended or proud
this is so confusing
diego just disappeared off the face of the earth
and assassins were on your case
“the goddamn swedes are back oh shittt im gonna die”
“y/n, just curve their bullets”
“it’s not as easy as it sounds, klaus!”
you were doomed
theres too much to go over
apparently you died on a farm????
and then you didn’t??????
and your dad was almost apart of the commission
“hey, you okay, y/n?”
“i would like to take a nap please”
“yeah, me too”
“me three!” -klaus
yeah it was never that simple 😌💕 the end
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @that-nerd-tessa // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @abbiesthings // @thereagles // @ofthedewthesunlight //
#diego hargreeves x reader#diego hargreeves imagine#diego hargreeves#umbrella academy x reader#umbrella academy#umbrella academy imagine#tua#tua imagine#tua x reader#diego hargreeves x child!reader#hargreeves!reader
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