#this took me about 3 days to compile and i had so much fun no joke
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By all means *eyes emoji*
Hi 👋
I took this ask as an invitation to figuratively dive into Richard's coat closet, and tried to compile every coat he wore in the last 30 years.
And oh boy, this man surely loves a good coat. He's the one member of this band who consecutively wore a coat on almost every tour and really takes a liking in the dramaturgical effect of wearing long (often times dark in color) coats and later reveiling additional outfits underneath, especially in later years. It fits his somewhat dramatic stage presence and he started quite early with these kind of stage outfits!
I subdevided this overview in two sub-topics to give this post somewhat of a structure, because this will be long.
1.) Richard's coats on stage (organized by year and tour)
1.1) Firstly, the plain black coat from the Herzeleid tour which he wore in 1995/1996. It's from what I could find the first time he wore a coat on stage while playing for Rammstein.
1.2) Addtionally, he wore the shiny red and silver coat during the Herzeleid tour as well as partly on the Sehnsucht tour in 1997. Same as the black coat before, he forwent any additional outfit underneath.
1.3) Also on the Sehnsucht tour, Richard wore the somewhat futuristic (reminded me a little bit of Star Treck costumes) black and silver coat which is clearly visible in Live aus Berlin. It suited the whole style of this era quite nicely and fit into the vibe of Till's cyborg/futuristic jacket as well.
1.4) For his outfit during the Reise Reise tour in 2004/2005, Richard settled for a black military-style coat. The button rows seem to be reminiscent of french military uniforms from the 17th and 18th century (as well as the button lines and the embroidery on the collar of the underjacket) and his pants were designed in a similar style. The lining of the coat is bright red, a theme which would occur numerous times over the years.
1.5) During the LIFAD tour, Richard wore a grey-mottled coat made out of a somewhat leathery material, adorned with silver buttons and a red armband - again he incorporated a red element in this coat, just like with the one before. On a sidenote: He once mentioned that Michael Jackson was an inspiration for this armband because Richard liked the cool look of it - his leg-belts (visible in the right picture) also kind of resemble the harness Michael wore on stage and in some videos during his Bad era.
1.6) An absolute personal favourite of mine: The studded coat Richard chose for the 2013 part of the Made in Germany tour, oftentimes paired with the torn black and red top underneath. This one also got red lining, as well as a fine red line near the cuffs of the coat.
1.7) In 2016 for the Festival tour, Richard wore coat in a more cosy and snuggly style, which marked a break in the clean cut coat-aesthetic up to this point. It was more in the style of a cardigan with a zipper instead of buttons. The armband made a reappearance as the signature red element (mirrored by a red band on his pants), and red lines along the seams added this colourful accent.
1.8) For the 2019 tour leg of the Stadium tour, Richard mixed things up by wearing a two piece combo made out of a leathery material, with a studded cap on the right shoulder and red elements in form of the usual arm band and a red folding in the front. The lower part of this outfit was removable, so the upper part remained as a jacket.
1.9) In 2022, he wore an all black coat with a belt and flaps along the shoulders, as well as snap fasteners as buttons; it overall resembled the typical look of a trenchcoat and seemed less rigid then the previous ensemble.
1.10) A true fandom favourite appeared on the scene in 2022 when he presented the infamous chicken coat. This one was already known from the "Freeze my mind" music video (from 2021) from Richard's side project and other band Emigrate. Different than in the music video, where a vest completed the look, Richard again after years went on stage without any outfit under it. This coat was used by him also during this year's tour leg.
1.11) Another personal favourite of mine is the black coat with red lining which he wore during this year's tour. Affectionatly dubbed "the vampire coat", this coat appears to be quite clean cut and simple, but has a very nice and dramatic effect on him (choosing gifs this time to underline this sentiment).
2.) Richard's coats off stage
Here are some of the coats Richard wore off stage during band fotoshoots and outings. Not counting normal jackets or parcas here.
2.1) The fur-lined coat during the Rosenrot fotoshooting:
2.2) The reoccuring black coat with fluffy fur elements, worn by him while being presented with awards in 2005 in Berlin as well as during the Echo award show in 2009:
2.3) He wore another black coat which looked pretty similar to the one before but is still slightly different during a signing in Paris 2004:
2.4) And a brown/beige kind of trenchcoat was his style of choice for the Fashion rock night in 2009:
2.5) During the outdoor shooting for the LIFAD album, Richard wore another black coat:
2.6) And lastly, the fancy embroidered coat Richard chose for promotion pictures for (I think) his first album with his band Emigrate:
Not sure if I was thouroughly enough and found every coat he ever wore, but I think the presented ones here really express his love for this piece of clothing in general 😊 I'm looking forward to either seeing a new coat on Richard next year or a return of his vampire coat 🦇 (Still hoping to see the studded coat someday again).
(Used picture sources: Rammwiki and the Rammsteinworld gallery - wonderful rabbit holes to get lost in.)
#rammstein#richard kruspe#richard's fashion lore#half his penthouse is filled with coats by this point i guess#this took me about 3 days to compile and i had so much fun no joke#thank you for this ask 💜#ask#richard's coats#emigrate
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Linked Universe Survey 2023
The long awaited results of the survey. Sorry it took me forever, making graphs is hard.
There were 452 responses to the survey as a whole, which is almost double what we got last year, so thank you to everyone who participated!
If you want to see the raw data, you can find that here. I had thoughts about the data, but compiling that into another post would be too much of a hassle. Feel free to send me asks about it though!
The rest of the post will be under a read more as it it large
Demographics
Other: Demigirl (4), Transmasc (3), Grey genderfluid, Unlabeled, Demiboy, Demiagender
Other: Omnisexual (4), Poly (2), Trixic, Abroromantic or Bellusromantic, Demisexual
General Questions
Other: Quotev, Discord, their own google docs
Other: Discord, Variations of "I haven't posted yet, but I pan to" and "I haven't posted my fics in ages",
Other: Wattpad, Deviantart, Discord
Other: Crochet dolls, Custom dolls, Roleplay blogs (2), Fan translations, Headcanons (2), Piano music
The purple section in the “Warriors vs Warrior” chart is supposed to read “Warrior.” I made a typo.
Favorites and Least Favorites
Selected Free Response Answers
im sorry warriors i just can't play your game (it is very very hard. i am stuck very early on in the game)
I love cats meow meow meow
was extremely tempted to put twilight for least favorite. unfortunately he is my favorite to write from the perspective of (he has taken over most of my wips. help) and that probably counts for something. WILD on the other hand. hooo boy how the hell do i characterize this gargoyle. why is he Like That. least favorite it is
Twiddy
very good fandom to be in :) everybody is very nice
It's a straight up crime that Wars lost the aesthetics poll so quickly. He has such a peak Link design with the best colors. Ugh I'm getting wistful.
FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. ALSO HAPPY PRIDE MONTH. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS.
I will fight Hylia herself and the next person who implies Twi can't handle spice. If we're going to lean into him being southern/Midwestern, which is an alright stero type for our rancher, please keep in mind the culture you're basing him off. The south and midwest can handle their spice, I assure you. Have you ever had authentic Louisiana gumbo? It will melt you tongue off. Or some good old fashion spicy fried chicken? I promise the real stuff has quite a kick. (In all seriousness, though. It's more important that you're having fun. And even I can admit the idea of Twi being an Ordonian who can't handle his spice is more than a little funny.)
I am an OoT Link edgelord and have been since early 2017. So, in September of that year, when an artist by the name of jojo56830 puts out a lineup of nine different Links and the Hero of Time is there – the oldest, no eye, Hero’s Shade armor? I saw that one sketch and just thought “oh this is gonna be bad.” Yeah of course he has the coolest design. By the way, it’s only a matter of time until Fierce Deity shows up in the comic and I have reason to believe it could be this current Dawn arc. Dawn … Dawn of a New Day … and who brought about the Dawn of a New Day? Fierce Deity. Twilight is recovering but still injured and what will happen if he falls again? Fierce Deity is coming and we need to be prepared. In this essay I will—
Remember that time when someone put the whole script of the bee movie in here? I’m not that dedicated, and I don’t have that time, but let us remember and hope someone else does it again this time. Cause someone is bound too. We’re all crazy enough to do it. Alright, love you and stay hydrated pls!
Hi! I joined this fandom really recent but i’ve always seen LU stuff on pinterest and elsewhere. Only recently have i actually took the time to understand the fandom and get back into LOZ stuff and i adore the characters and story! The more and more fanart, fanfics, and comics i see about the different Links the more i love them all. It’s such a pain to pick just one i like or one i don’t like because they’re all so unique. I love this fandom and hope to get more involved!! Have a wonderful rest of your day :]
Epona is an underrated queen
your mom
I really don't get why Zelda is called Artemis. Athena makes more sense???? It perplexes me
Anyone seeing this should check out Breanna’s E!Wild AU
Something something queer every Link into oblivion!
#linked universe#lu survey 2023#lu wild#lu twilight#lu time#lu warriors#lu legend#lu wind#lu hyrule#lu four#lu sky
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Hiiiii OG Warprize hob anon here!
Not an ask but I was so touched that yan anon took the time to compile all my previous asks and express how much they loved my writing.
It’s been, uh, months since I had that original warprize hob idea. I’d only just seen the show and discovered your blog. I was so nervous to write in my own idea that I sat on it for three days before I sent it in and stalked your blog until you posted it because I was sure it was too weird.
But I was interested in Dream as a cosmic force barely contained in a human form, and Hob as a character defined by observing and undergoing change, either brought on by time—or in warprize world, by Dream. If he is a rock being smoothed by the tide, what will remain of him at the end? That was what I initially wanted to explore and from there it grew wings beyond me.
I’ve been both surprised and so pleased to see how it’s endured. I can’t think how many related asks or art or fics have come in but I’ve done my best to like and appreciate them all.
It’s lovely to know my work is appreciated and even missed! Maybe this is what I need for lightning to strike again.
Huge thanks to you, Gabe, for tending to our untamed midnight thoughts. You’ve created a wonderful, collaborative space that we all appreciate.
And for anyone else who has had ideas and been hesitant to send it in, consider this your invitation! Write it; the results might be really fun!
AHHHH hi friend!!! Its so so nice to hear from you and know that you're still out there! Thank you so, so much - for your original asks which inspired so many of us. And also for saying such nice things about me and my blog. It makes me so happy to know that this blog gave you a space to express yourself. I hope you know that you have a great talent for writing. And you'll always be welcomed and appreciated here!
Thank you again. Thank you for warprizing Hob! You are a joy <3
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Top 10 Sus Jikook Moments
There are way too many moments to possibly list, but my friend and I thought it would be fun to compile a list of sus jikook moments.
10. 2021 Jimin Birthday Live
Cute and flustered Jimin calling Jungkook? Jungkook coming immediately to spend time with his boyfriend? Hobi calling out why Jimin was in Jungkook’s studio? So many questions.
9. 2015 Award Show Back Hug
Let’s be real, there are plenty of questionable back hug moments, but this one is particularly interesting. The fact that it was so early in their relationship. The fact that it took place at a public award show. The way Jungkook held onto Jimin and how they swayed together. The questionable looks from the other members. I see you jikook, I see you.
Honorable back hug mention is the BE live and the way Jungkook caged Jimin for an incredibly long time with their matching hair. Exuding boyfriend energy to the max.
8. Cute Feet During PJ Run
Honestly, this is just one of my favorite moments that makes me feel giddy. How comfortable they are resting on one another. The way they’re playing with their feet. Jimin’s surprised laugh when Jungkook plays along. And let’s not forget the special photo of Jungkook spooning Jimin.
7. “Let me give you a hug” Dance Practice
Am I the only one who has watched this clip over and over? We get to see how even during work they are always having fun together. But how can we not swoon over Jungkook’s smitten face as Jimin fails to lift him, and the way his smile grows brighter when he lifts Jimin like it’s nothing. Jimin tries to lift him one more time, but fails and instead hugs Jungkook and nuzzles into his neck ever so slightly.
6. Jungkook’s Snow Gift
We should all know this moment. Bon Voyage season 4 in New Zealand. This is the beginning of Jungkook really doing whatever the hell he wants, and he disappears one morning to go on a mountain hike and returns with a chunk of snow, much to everyone’s confusion. He specifically waits for Jimin to wake up and excitedly shows and gives it to him. Jimin is, understandably confused, but we all understand the intent.
5. Malta Room Sharing
I’ll be honest, finding out about this speculation was what thrust me into the world of jikook. (It doesn’t seem to exist anymore, but I had wandered across an analysis video a few years ago). Obviously, we don’t know anything for sure, but there are enough clues here, as well as in many other occasions, that make it possible jikook were room sharing.
(And let’s not forget their cute Malta date)
4. Osaka Live
Similar vibe to number 5, but cranked up to 100. I don’t need to go in depth into this, because we all know, but my two cents is that Jimin was in that room. (Just as he hid in Jungkook’s room during the 2019 NJ live). What were they doing in a dark hotel room with sensual music playing? Eating bread, of course.
3. GCF in Tokyo
Enough said.
2. MAMA 2018
What I would give to hear everything the man sitting next to them heard. Something was truly in the air that day. They were all over each other and incredibly lovey dovey. While we can’t know for sure what they actually said to each other, the look in Jungkook’s eyes speaks volumes.
1. Rose Bowl
Are we surprised this is my number 1? There are so many moments that exist, but all jikookers come back to this one. There are so many questions about why. Why nibble the ear? Why confess his love? Why give a kiss? (We all know why). But the emotions are palpable, as they would be at the end of a high intensity concert. Jimin was emotional, and Jungkook went to console Jimin, as we know he usually does. Hanging onto Jimin’s back isn’t out of the ordinary, but Jungkook took it a step further. And put Jimin’s ear in his mouth. My assumption is that he was saying something, but ultimately decided actions would speak louder than words. To be clear, he says something first, pulls back, and then goes back in, catches Jimin’s ear, and then delivers a clear kiss to Jimin’s head. There’s no mistaking it. Jungkook was taking care of his baby.
Honorable Mentions:
Rainy day fight
“I was with Jungkook [at 4AM on his birthday]”
That award show moment where Jungkook is singing a love song to Jimin and Jin is staring at them lovingly. (There is a video somewhere, but I can’t find it. Please, someone find it. I think it’s from the melon music awards)
Jungkook waking Jimin up on In the Soop season 2.
Jimin breaking Jungkook’s mosquito net on In the Soop season 1. (And the spooning that occurred the next day.)
Black Swan Lift
Honestly, there are too many moments to mention. Please share your top sus moments!
#jikook#wanted to spread some positivity#there are too many moments to count#this took me longer than i thought#apologies for my lack of gif skills
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favorite kpop group tag~ thank you @binniesbang!
who is your favorite kpop group?
stray kids, if that was any surprise
which member sparked your interest first?
hyunjin! i've almost always been pulled in by the dancer (lee know i know but) specifically the style of dance hyunjin excels in. the isolation is so satisfying and cool. for some reason choreo always gets a song stuck in my head??
But also!! I had heard they produced their own music and that really got me interested in kpop again
who was your first bias?
chris bang 🤍 went from zero to ult within no more than two days tbh…
what makes them your current bias?
oh god. um. i'll put this in the least embarrassing way possible. (this is a kpop tumblr blog I should probably get over it)
it was a particularly bad year. i stumbled upon their silly videos (thank you stay for the edits<3) and they made me laugh. then i started seeing clips of chans room and him interacting with the boys and just like... he's so wonderful. he's generous and kind and loving and thoughtful. just a shy lil guy who also happens to be a flirt and a fucking dork and it's cute man idk shut upp
who is your bias wrecker?
i was certain i'd never have one, i truly adore each of those boys so so much.
i was however proven wrong after a very sweet, silly compilation of binnie being ridiculous. followed by a face cam of his sclass performance in the supreme jersey?? and the curls?? he has such amazing stage presence and he's a great dancer. but he kept going from his cute sweet binnie expressions looking like he was just so into it and having fun, to the "dark rapper" eyes and commanding stage presence. and like, wow. 🖤 i am a sucker for that kind of duality.
which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/wrecker?
in another reality han is my wrecker. that boy is the epitome of what i used to look for in guys: babygirl. lol. well, and insanely talented and funny and everything. I adore him
after befriending a couple seungmin stans, i started looking for pics and clips to send them and found myself so incredibly impressed with him and touched by some of the things he's said and done. plus he’s a funny little shit.
hwang hyunjin is such a sweet boy. since we got producer jinnie on the last album i have been looking back and just so impressed with his growth 🤍
when did you first discover the group?
(Upon editing I realize I read this as ‘how’ but oh well)
okokok so
i was a kpop fan 2014-2017 and went all in. kcon and concerts the whole thing
but then i was just on my usual 6 hour yt shorts binge as i tried to fall asleep and saw skz reacting to the "your eyes" mv, specifically felix's part, obviously. i watched it like 12 times just cry laughing at han screaming, hyunjin trying to escape, channie hiding behind his hands and squealing. it was just so funny to see a group kind of clowning their own shit? i thought they were hilarious.
then i saw julien (solomita) had reacted to 'topline' and i was soooo into it. immediately went to watch some mvs and decided cool i'll be a totally normal casual fan of this group’s music….. :)
THEN a lovely lady i'd followed on my 10 year old tumblr account posted about skz. i messaged her that I’d finally decided to check them out and she was kind enough to answer questions and entertain my onslaught of messages as I screamed about how much I love these boys. and she still does everyday so. thank you hana 🌸
have you ever been to one of their concerts?
not yet~
what are some of your favorite songs by them?
THIS SECTION TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG. disclaimer: I absolutely could not include non ot8 this would’ve been 30 songs (I’m probably going to cheat)
Hall of fame. bitch ever since that live stage (which was the first time I’d heard it) I’ve listened to the sclass album 3 times a week no joke, goddamn it’s so good. so just know, i pulled almost every song from that album off this list when i made cuts
levanter. a hard pill to swallow mid relationship struggles and holds a lot of meaning for me.
secret secret. i can't get over how professional this song sounds and how it was just a few years in?
leave. where i got my username~ like I said, relationship stuff. You have not yet really bloomed When the new season comes I hope the warmth will make you bloom Into a flower that never dies
sclass. *bling bling* HIPHOPSTEP. such a fucking chaotic mess of a jam.
megaverse. the breakdown? MEGAPHONE. Han, bitch? We make the rules nobody can hold me yeaaahhh. Your body shakes - STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD. Sorry, flawless.
gods menu. ate, bitch. chan was something the fuck else
domino. neeed I say more
social path is bomb
grow up. read lyrics for the first time just now ow
eternity. told u I’d cheat.
love poem. big cheat my list worth it
I am going to be so mad when I realize I missed a song I listen to 7 times a day but been doin this for 2 hours so I’m calling it. Also forgive me I’m still working through the discography (backwards) and haven’t listened to the full first couple albums.
the adhd is allowing no further focus or thought so i will be tagging the same friends as my last tag post no pressure <3
@channieblossoms @skzms @roseykat @thefantasyden @seungsungracha @astraysis @channieswife
Thank you again @binniesbang for tagging me~!
#I WONT APOLOGIZE FOR HOW LONG this is#if yo i wanna read it you can if not that's absolutely okay too EVEN if i tagged you~#chatty#tag#<3#binniesbang#ur a sweetie tbh thk u#stray kids#skz#stay
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Fandom creators self rec game! Choose five favourites from your own creations (and tell me why, if you like!), then pass on to at least five other people. I'd love to hear what you're proudest of.
Hello beloved! It’s always a privilege to see you in my inbox, thank you so much for this lovely ask and apologies for taking two centuries to reply lol this was a quite emotional trip down memory lane for me - I couldn’t decide whether to go with rec lists or single recs (oof I haven’t written one in so long 🥲) because they’re both so different and special in their own way. In the end I’m gonna do lists because I think they’re generally more helpful and popular! I’ve been going through a creative / fandom slump for a while now, so this was great encouragement as it made me look back at my own recs with joy and kindness. Thank you babes 💜
1. I actually still love the Drarry for Beginners series! Fun story, I wasn’t very confident about it at first - I was getting many requests for a classics rec list back then but I don’t really vibe with the “MUST read these or you’re not a valid fandom member” mentality so I tried to come up with a different format that felt more like an invitation than a lecture. I think I found a good balance of well known fics and hidden gems, so I’m very proud of that. Also, the banners looked really good! Especially the redemption arc and the Muggle!Draco AU ones if I do say so myself.
2. The Hidden Gems series is also one of my most precious babies - it took me a long time to plan it out, read all fics and prepare the small blurbs for each one and I really love how it came across, the authors I chose to highlight, and the fact that I was able to mix Drarry and rare pairs. I remember getting an ask back in the day that accused me of only reccing my friends (anon really overestimated my network size 🤣), they could have at least checked the hidden gem series before going for public embarrassment lol there’s so much to explore there, and I really wanna come back to it one day to finalize the second edition that I started posting in 2022. Hopefully this year!
3. 35 Romantic Shorts: my heart is so very soft for this one, not only because the ever generous @bluebutter-art has let me use her stunning art for the banner, but I’m also such a passionate champion of short form and I feel like this list really embraced the concept and delivered great recs. I’m not a fluff gal by any standards so this was a nice exercise finding the softest, most romantic and soothing reads that made my heart beat faster. It would be lovely to go back and maybe add a couple more lists with new shorts, or alternatively make new lists for medium-length and long fics. So many ideas, so little time!
4. It feels like a lifetime ago but I’m still very fond of my “smutty recs week” that I made to celebrate one of my first followers milestone. Ahh the nostalgia! All lists can be found here and include a wide variety of themes and kinks like voyeurism, dirty talk, gang bang and others. Those banners are some of my favourites too, they turned out very sassy and clever if I do say so myself. I had so much fun with them! I gotta find the time to sit down and update some of those lists with newer treats!
5. Now highlighting something more recent (from Feb 2023… LOL) I’m super proud of my Rare Pair Romance list for Valentine’s Day. It was a great chance to compile (most of) my favorite rare pair fics in one place and include different ships and tropes. I’m always looking for an excuse to rec het pairings which I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, so this was the perfect way to do it.
#asks#wow this got long#my fave rec lists#15 years later but I’m finally posting this lol#ily tacky 🐯
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Ta-dahhhh, a drawing that took me too long. It would have taken me less time had I quit second-guessing everything and taking 3 hour breaks after fixing one line. BUT YEE, I ACTUALLY LIKE IT VERY MUCH. For once. (Also, shoutout to my fren, @paintedkinzy-88 for teaching me how mirrors work. It is a long story. Although, probably only "long" because of my habit of telling things 5k words longer than they needed to be-)
Now, long headcanon rambling alert. This drawing is like... the ungodly compilation of so many of my headcanons. I absolutely didn't need to stuff it full of things I believe to be true so wholeheartedly, but I d i d.
First headcanon: Ink can feel. He has the capacity to experience emotions, he just needs a little help to do it. So, he has to take his vials to experience something that many people don't even need to think about. However, this leads to ✧˖°.angst.✧˖°. Ink has a whole lot of self-doubt and he second-guesses his "emotions" all the time because, technically, his emotions are artificially induced. Therefore, by extension, does that make the emotions themselves artificial? This leads well into my second headcanon.
Second headcanon: Ink's vials are basically an allegory for antidepressants. Suppose someone has been depressed for a very, very long time and then they get on antidepressants. They might become really disoriented. Because, really, which version of themself is the truest form of them? The happy, upbeat version of them is strange and foreign after being depressed for so long. Is the happy version truly them, or was it the other, depressed version of themself that they spent so many years living as? So, as ya can see, the 3rd day prompt for Inktobertale fit beautifully with my headcanons. <3
Third headcanon: Ink experiences a strong wave of whatever range of emotions pertaining to a particular vial after he takes it. For example, yellow, he'd experience a strong wave of joy, happiness, euphoria, etc., and for red, anger, fury, outrage, etc. The little sticky note in the corner of the mirror is a reminder that it's easier to take all the vials together than to spread them out. If he takes them all together, he can experience each strong wave in immediate succession. It's exhausting and he nearly has everything taken out of him at the end, but the ordeal is less... awful than if he spread it out for half an hour taking them one by one. That's why the cup is there hehe-
The little pictures on the mirror represent happier times! :D Since taking his vials, or his "medicine," is such an uncomfortable experience, having pictures on his mirror to remind him of happier times and that he has people that care about him really helps. He can pluck up the courage to actually take the vials after glancing over at beloved faces. ;_;
The holiday picture actually has a funny backstory behind it; the three of them were celebrating Gyftmas together at Blue's house, but it was during a time Dream was still fairly new to uh, "modern day traditions." I headcanon Dream acts really old and after being stuck in stone for so long, is like... tragically so far behind the times. He uses old timey lingo, has a very bad habit of comparing his centuries old age to your common AU resident, and comes off as, "How do you do, fellow kids-" more often than he would like. As such, he didn't understand why you would "dress up" for the holidays. He freaking showed up in his normal attire and was baffled why Blue and Ink were dressed differently. They made a lot of fun of him. Ink got a new sketchbook that he's holding in the picture. <3
The other picture... of course has a backstory. I'm s o r r y, okay. It is a problem, I can't quit sneaking Errorink into whatever I do. That little picture is of a time they were hanging out together cuddling in the antivoid. Error wrote the little note on the picture to remind Ink that his emotions are just as real and valid as the rest of them, and that if anyone were to tell him otherwise, he'd fight 'em. He told him to slap it on his mirror as a reminder when he goes to take his "medicine." ;_; <3 Will I find a way to sneak this into a fic/make a new fic with this scene? Probably, but I'm choosing not to worry about it rn-
FINALLY. LAST HEADCANON, I'M SORRY- Some of you may have noticed the sneaky little Asriel hiding in the picture. >:) Even that has lore behind it! :D It comes from an AU I call Storetale that I made up in two minutes solely to excuse the blatant goat bro easter egg.
Storetale is set in a timeline where the monsters and humans live on the surface together in harmony. But oh noooo, one day, Asgore and Toriel died in a bad car crash, and they left poor Chara and Asriel alone. ;_; Not to worry though! Mettaton adopted the two and they both became child celebrities. But not on tv, mind you. Nooo, they became the mascots of Mettaton's extremely successful supermarket chain, MettaStore. The AU follows the two as they deal with their very odd claim to fame, as well as the fact of being children and the face of a multi-million gold supermarket franchise.
I like to headcanon that Ink likes to watch this AU because of how wacko and heartfelt it can be at times. He got the soap in the picture from that AU, branded Golden Flower Soap. I also like to think Ink introduced Error to that AU and he unironically got invested into it too because of the contrived problems it comes up with similar to Undernovela.
AND THERE. THAT IS ALL. This was just the ultimate compilation of all my headcanons into a singular drawing that no one would ever know unless I made this ungodly long post to explain each and every one in detail even though no one asked. ;_; I'm sorry for such the long post. If any of you brave souls read this far, thank you and I hope I managed to spread my headcanons further-
✧˖°.Bonus:✧˖°. Here is a version with alternate eyes 'cus I couldn't choose which one I liked more and then one without a blurred background. Now, you can see the Errorink background details more clearly if you would like :D
#inktobertale2023#ink sans#utmv#inktobertale day 3#ink!sans#my headcanons#star sanses#errorink#But only if ya squint#Like yeah it's right there in plain view#but the drawing itself isn't errorink cuddles#This is so wonderfully angsty I love it#Scratching the angst itch m m m m#Am I going to find a way to incorporate this drawing into a fic or compose a new one entirely#P r o b a b l y#By that same token; will I find a way to shove Storetale into a fic?#Also highly likely because I have gotten unhealthily attached to a glorified shitpost au that I made up in 2 minutes#Is it stupid? Yes. Do I love it to death? Also y e s
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KATZ WRAPPED 2023
spotify wrapped is fine and all but i have calculated some stats and rankings of my own, many pertaining to my sick and twisted list of albums to get through during the year.
overall, i crossed 429 albums off my list in 2023.
some of these were albums i had listened to in full years ago, but wanted to revisit because i had a feeling i'd enjoy them more (ex: in keeping secrets of silent earth: 3, year zero). many were albums where i was familiar with one or even a handful of tracks off them, but had never actually listened to them in full (ex: magma, living in darkness). but probably the majority of albums on the list, i had never heard at all (ex: angelfish, spanking machine). the math brings me out to 8.25 albums per week!
i added 779 new tracks to my music library this year, which is the most music i have ever added in a year. the first track i added in 2023 was "Diet Pill" by L7, and the last was "Double Decker" by Skating Polly.
my overall artists of the year were Sleater-Kinney, Jimmy Eat World, and Bad Religion.
i got to see Bad Religion live in 2023!
i also saw Backyard Superheroes, Joker's Republic, Save Ferris, HXLT, Death From Above 1979, Sunsetter, Cam Kahin, Anyway Gang, Tim Kasher, Sparta, Koyo, Thursday, '68, Thrice, The Upstart Crows, and Speed of Light! and i took terrible photos, as always!
my favorite artists that i really discovered this year from the list were Mary Timony, Bayside, and PJ Harvey!
my overall favorite track from the year was "Denise" by Fountains of Wayne!
my favorite track that i only discovered in 2023 was. also "Denise" by Fountains of Wayne
my overall favorite albums of the year were Coral Fang by the Distillers, Still Searching by Senses Fail, The Artist In The Ambulance by Thrice, and Futures by Jimmy Eat World.
relatedly, i got so fucking jumpscared while watching Pushing Daisies.
my favorite albums discovered in 2023 were Ghost Notes by Veruca Salt, Billy Talent II by Billy Talent, Becoming Something Else by Sugarcoma, and Sweet Weaponry by Cruiserweight.
my LEAST favorite albums discovered on the list were Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday, And Everyday Is Stupid by Crywank, The Silver Scream by Ice Nine Kills, Song and Legend by Sex Gang Children, and Lobes by We Are Scientists.
in total, i spent about 1163.5 hours listening to music in 2023, about 3 hours a day. this is lower than previous years, probably because i spent a bit more time listening to podcasts than usual. when i worked at a reptile and insect-focused pet shop, i would listen to Behind the Bastards for almost the entire workday.
in 2023, i created three new playlists to organize my music:
CONTROL is how i imagine Jax and Jim's hypothetical band might sound.
one two is a recommendation playlist for people who want music that sounds somewhat like The Mad Gear and Missile Kid by My Chemical Romance
fake emo is a massive compilation of songs that i consider to be Emo; not too much emotional hardcore, not too much pop punk. hopefully falling somewhere in between. emo purists please do not make fun of me.
thank you for reading. and now i shall begin the process of compiling the list for 2024.
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A Sanzu Haruchiyo x F!reader ff made for Sanzu Week 2022!
Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Guns, and gunshots [I think that's all but if there are more that I missed, lmk<3]
Word Count: 6.5k
A/n: This is a compilation of the Sanzu Week 2022 series that I wrote!!
Your dad and the Akashi siblings’ dad were good friends even before you all had been birthed into this world. The moment your dad found out Mr. Akashi was having his first child, they both celebrated in joy.
A few years later, your dad and Mr. Akashi found out that both of them were having children at the same time. Making Mr. Akashi have his second child and you, your dad’s first child. Just like most moms, the dads also talked about how you guys could be good friends just like them. Mr. Akashi naming his son Haruchiyo and your dad naming you Y/N.
Now everyone was excited for your birth, but things happened. Your mom is a very busy worker who most of the time can’t come home due to her career meaning your dad does all the mom work. But Mr. Akashi said that his wife, Mrs. Akashi, could help him when he doesn’t know what to do and that both of them would be there to help.
Of course, as kids you both didn’t remember your times together. Then, Mrs. and Mr. Akashi got news again. Sanzu was having a little sister!! You both were still quite young so you and Haru didn’t really celebrate much. As soon as Senju, Sanzu’s younger sister, was birthed, Sanzu really thought she was beautiful, which she truly is. And you, you also thought she was very gorgeous. Aside from that, it’s like you’re having a sibling of your own too! Since you mostly hangout in the Akashi household. Soon enough, the three of you were starting to grow up so you could see more features of yourselves than before.
As you grew up, Sanzu made his own friends with Takeomi’s friend’s siblings and started to hang out with them! While Sanzu hangs out with them, you and Senju would usually play dress up. But when you weren’t present, Senju would play with Sanzu and his friends, sometimes picking up their manly accent.
One day, Takeomi and Sanzu were going to their friend’s household for a meeting and for Sanzu to play with his friends. Then Senju wanted to come with them and invited you to come along. Who were you to say no to meeting new friends and having fun with them, right? Or so you thought.
Senju introduced you to them. “Mikey and Baji, this is our friend, Y/N. She’s a lovely girl and she’s like an older sister to me. Be kind to her just like you are to me!!” Senju warned them. “Y/N, this is Mikey and Baji. They’re very nice and very kind gentlemen!” Senju exclaimed. Sanzu giving everyone a smile, keeping quiet and waiting for the introductions to finish so all of you could play.
After all introductions, everyone decided to finally play but Mikey announced, “Since we have a new friend, today is a special play day!” he spoke with confidence while everyone else tilted their head a bit, showing curiosity and confusion. Mikey went into his room for a minute and went out with something hidden in his hand, hiding it behind his back. “What are you hiding, Mikey?” Baji asked, trying to peak as to what Mikey was hiding. “I have a very cool surprise!! And none of you must touch it except for me,” Mikey said in a serious tone. Everyone’s eyes shone in excitement.
“Ja-Jan~!” Mikey said in surprise, showing his airplane model that his big bro, Shinichiro, made for him. He told everyone about how long it took Shin to finish which is why no one except him can hold the plane since it holds a special place in his heart. No one would want to see Mikey get mad, right? So none of you dared to touch the plane, everyone only played along with Mikey until you heard Senju scream in excitement that she wants one too but Takeomi, their older sibling, got mad at Senju for using such manly vocabulary which lead to Takeomi blaming Sanzu for it while you just stood there, wanting to do at least something but you were just a kid. A kid who was just like them, unlike Takeomi who basically took care of his siblings and played the father role for them ever since Mr. Akashi had been straying around due to the disappearance of Mrs. Akashi. It does make sense since Sanzu and Senju always hangout, but you still thought that it wasn’t totally Sanzu’s fault because as a kid, and a boy, it’d be normal for him to talk in a manly way which would make Senju pick it up. You felt down on their behalf.
Later, Sanzu went missing so you went to look for him to comfort him. When you finally spotted him, you were about to shout his name, but you saw him and Senju talking. So, you may or may not have heard the conversation they had. You were shocked but it wasn’t a rare occurrence for siblings to one day “hate” each other because of the nuisance the other is causing. You were an only child, but you always looked at siblings' relationships from afar making you understand different points of view making people think you’re so “matured” but in the end, you’re still a kid who wanted to enjoy your childhood.
Moments later, while you and Senju were reading manga, you heard screams. Making you and Senju flinch. You both ran to where the screams were coming from as soon as you could. The moment you arrived there, your eyes widened, heart beating faster than normal and mind blank. All you saw right at the moment was blood coming out of Sanzu’s mouth, blood on Mikey’s hand, and blood all over on the floor. Your breath hitched, not knowing what to do. All you could do was stare and stand there. You couldn’t even think of how Senju was probably so scared, witnessing this scene. “What should I do? What is happening? Why won’t my body move?” clouded your mind. Mind full of questions, you heard voices but your mind couldn’t pick it up well. You assumed Senju felt the same too.
Soon, Senju left on the verge of tears since Takeomi and Shinichiro told everyone they were going to visit the Shop for a minute, telling everyone should behave well.
Sanzu kept still so you decided to take this as an opportunity to talk to him about things. And it took a while for Sanzu to vent quite a lot of things that’s been bothering him. It all stopped when you heard a thud coming inside, so you asked Sanzu, “Should we check what that thud was?” But Sanzu shook his head no and replied, “You go on ahead, y/n.” You went to check and explored the Sano Household until you saw Senju crying on the floor. Asking what happened, she told you it was nothing but you assumed it was still because of the conflict between her and Sanzu. This time, you comfort Senju and asked her if she wanted to go and read manga since Shinichiro told you to make yourself at home and read some manga or play if you wanted to.
The moment you finally came back to your senses, all you could think of was to tell anyone. Be it anyone but a kid like you. Could be Shin or Takeomi. So you ran in their household until you found the front gate. You went outside to see if there were any people who could help. Running out of breath, you found some people in the distance so you ran as fast as you could towards them. Until you bumped into them. Ah, it was Shin and Takeomi on their way home. You were running after your breath so you couldn’t tell them as soon as possible. Soon, tears started dripping down to your cheek which made the both of them shocked, asking, “Hey hey, what happened? Are you okay?” Shinichiro softly spoke trying to calm you down. “Did something happen?” Takeomi asked. You couldn’t mutter words at the moment due to the shock kicking in so the least you could do was point at the house and Shinichiro ran towards the house as fast as he could to find out what happened. Then Takeomi was left with you to calm you down. “Hey Kid, calm down, okay? Shin already went there. Whatever it was that happened, it’ll be okay,” you could tell he was trying hard to sound calm but you knew that he was nervous to find out as to what exactly happened.
Later, Takeomi finally was able to invite you back home. You were still sniffling, holding his hand on the way home. He could tell you were shaking. So much. Then the moment you both came inside the house, you were greeted by everyone in the living room. Mikey being calm and composed while Baji was in shock. Senju crying and Sanzu with bandages on the sides of his mouth and some other parts of his face that Shin put on for him. Shinichiro looked serious. Looking directly at Mikey. It already looked like they were talking about what happened but silence came in when you and Takeomi came back home.
Takeomi immediately let go of your hand and ran towards Sanzu and Senju. Takeomi was too shocked to say anything else. All he could do was hug Sanzu and Senju.
Later, everyone had a talk. A long and serious one. Everyone now knew what happened but the reason? Mikey didn’t talk about it. Or should I say, he never talked at all.
This event truly traumatized you all. After your dad knew about this, he told you to avoid them from now on. It was only sometimes when you’d get to hang out with Sanzu and Senju again. You were isolated inside the house. It left you all alone in your own household. Basically becoming an inside child. It lasted long until you finally became a teenager. Of course, you wondered how everyone was doing now. So you decided to visit the Akashi household. And here you are now, in front of the Akashi household, rethinking your life choices.
You were nervous. Unaware of how they would react. You wanted to turn back and leave but deep down, you missed them. So much. Taking a deep breath, and convincing yourself it’ll be alright, you rang the doorbell. As seconds passed by, the more you felt cold sweat break through. Until finally, the doorknob slowly moved. You felt even more nervous, scared to confront them after years but you swallowed your pride and faced whoever it was behind the door.
It was Senju. She was all grown up just like you. Senju gasped in surprise. Running into you, hugging you. A few tears dripping from the both of you explained how much you both missed each other without having to speak words.
“Is this – Is this really you? Y/N?” Senju asked, “You’re all grown up now,” she added. “You’re all grown up too,” wiping the tears off your face. “How have you been???” You replied, “I’ve been doing pretty okay, how about you? And the others?”
Your conversation went on for a while so Senju decided to invite you inside. You noticed that the house was pretty empty and quiet so you asked Senju in curiosity, “Where are your brothers?” the smile on her face fading away. You tilt your head a little to the side, “If it’s personal then it’s okay –“ you were cut off. “Haru-nii went missing.” She said in despair. You were shocked. Flashbacks of the incident appearing in your head. “E- eh?” you stuttered. “We were all doing okay but one day he- he just disappeared. Everyone did. We all cut off ties,” Senju spoke in a guilty tone.
You tried to cheer the mood up by switching topics but it didn’t seem to work. Moments later, you just decided to go home and wrap it all up. Thinking where they could all be and why they disappeared all of a sudden. It took a while for you to fall asleep that night. Mind filled with thoughts. But you decided to cope with it just like Senju did. Sometimes, meeting up with her and hanging around the town.
One day, while you were shopping alone, you found a café and decided to settle in there. Ordering a cheesecake and iced coffee. While enjoying your meal, you took a good look outside the streets, admiring how lively the city is. Something caught your attention. Someone, in fact. The person had long lashes and the same hair color that Senju had. You wondered if it were a man or woman. Long pink hair and lashes with a black mask. It looked as if it was Senju’s long-lost sibling, you thought. They had someone beside them, a tall blonde and scary looking man with a weird haircut, no offenses to whoever that was. Then it slipped your mind.
You ran out of the café as fast as you could, running after them. But the crowd started to block your way. You had no other way than to scream the name you thought it was. “Haruchiyo!!!!!!” You shouted as loud as you could. Soon, people were weirded out by you so they made their way on the side to see who it was you were calling out for. There, in the middle of the side road, was the weird-haircut man and who you assumed to be Haruchiyo. The long-haired person didn’t look back but the tall weird-haircut man did. “You know her?” The tall man asked. Haru finally looked back and realized it was you. His eyes widened, but he kept quiet. You ran towards them and went to Haru, “Haru? Is that really you?” you were trying to catch your breath. Haru, which you assumed it was, could only give the tall man a look and the tall man left. “So it IS you?” you asked once again. “Mm.” You could barely hear those words but you immediately understood. As soon you processed that it really was Haru, you hugged him tightly, him barely hugging back but he patted the small of your back a little. “Let’s go somewhere else, you’re causing a scene in the public,” He finally spoke and used proper words, you thought.
You found yourselves in the park later on. You wanted to ask him why he disappeared so bad but you thought it’d make the atmosphere uncomfortable again so instead, you asked, “So, what are you doing nowadays?” Haru stood quiet for a minute, “Nothing much.” You groaned, “Yeah and what exactly is ‘nOtHiNg MuCh’?” you mocked him. He turned to seriously look at you in the eye signaling that it wasn’t funny at all. You lightly laughed, “Right right, sorry.” A few minutes passed by, “So what’s Tokyo Manji Gang? You in a gang now?” you innocently asked and read the words written on his shirt. No answers were given, so you answered yourself, “Yes, he is, y/n. Is it not obvious? Oh right whoops my bad. Thought I could talk to someone but looks like that’s not the case right now.” Making him hold back his laugh. He seemed more emotionless now. And quiet. Very quiet. But nonetheless, you still kept talking to him. Because you knew there was still a little Haru deep inside him that always caused trouble.
“Today, I went to a café. Right before I spotted you. I ordered iced coffee and a cheesecake. It was very delicious! I think you’d like the cheesecake. They’re your favorites, right?” You gave him a big smile. Not knowing you made him shocked because you still remembered his favorite even after a very long time. “One time, I’ll treat you there! Would you like that?” you softly asked. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot,” Sanzu turned to look at you and gave you a sweet smile.
Your heart warmed up at the sight. You really missed the past. How you were all so close, but now it feels as if there was a thick wall growing in between everyone. Still, you were grateful to see Haru once again. After a few moments of silence, Haru told you goodbye saying he needed to go do something so both of you told your goodbyes. You sweetly smiled by yourself while seeing Haru off. When he was finally out of your reach, you remembered. You forgot to at least ask his contact number so you both could keep in contact. That’s when you realized, you fucked up. How are you even supposed to know where he usually is? Or hangs out? How are you both supposed to meet up and eat cheesecake together? What a dumb mistake it was. “Fucking Haru, did he do that on purpose?” You mumbled in anger. Why’d he give you such a sincere smile and accept your offer then? You were so mad at yourself that you could shout right then and there. The opportunity was right in front of you for minutes. Even an HOUR. You left the park and stomped on your way home.
Returning home, you took a cold shower and dressed up in comfortable clothes. Angrily jumping on top of your bed, you heavily sighed. “Will I ever get to see him again after this?” you asked yourself. Tsk. But knowing that he disappeared even to his own family, you knew he wouldn’t appear in front of you ever again, would he?
Months passed, every time you go outside and shop, you’d always try to look for Sanzu in the surroundings. Basically low-key looking for him. But you never saw him again after that time at the park. You checked the park, the café and around the place for him or that guy you found him with. But no traces were found. God, you could be a detective just to find Haru.
And today was another usual day for you to go out in the city and explore – more like find Haru in the fields but alright. You happened to find a pretty formal dress which you assumed you’d probably need one day, so you decided to check the store. It seemed like a formal clothing store. While you were inside, you found someone buying a pink suit that matched the color of his hair. His hair reminded you of Haru but you didn’t think Haru would actually have that kind of style or would style his hair up in a ponytail. And *cough* no offense to Haru or anything - You couldn’t get a clear view of his face since he was turned in the opposite direction that you were facing and you didn’t want to creep him out by making him look at you or calling him out or anything. Sure, last time you did shout in the public because you found Haru but you were 90% sure this man wasn’t Haru. Once again, Haru didn’t have that kind of fashion sense so… you just left it alone. (No offense to him I swear) But that didn’t mean you’d stop looking for him every single day. Well not unless you were hanging out with Senju. She’d surely laugh and probably tease you even if you were just trying to help her out by finding her brother.
You and Senju had decided to do a 3-day overnight in the Akashi household since Senju had been telling you how lonely she’s been feeling lately. You’ve both been doing Movie marathons and skin cares every night and lots of fun stuff that girls normally do on overnights. But on the third day, Senju told you she had to go somewhere in the afternoon. You decided to go out too so you didn’t have to feel too lonely. Looking around some stores, visiting the library, going to a coffee shop, and all those self-loving stuffs that people do. It was dawn so you decided to finally go home, thinking Senju was waiting for you at home. You opened the door, removed your shoes, and yelled, “I’m back!!” but it was still quiet. Was Senju still out? Then you found a note on the fridge, reading, “Heya y/n! I got something to do tonight so you can go on and sleep without me. You don’t have to wait, I’ll be back late. Cook whatever you want, the fridge still has food and some pizza left. Take care<3” Oh? Senju? Out late? You thought it was okay at first since you also went home late at times.
You cooked some mac n cheese for dinner. You ate alone, house quiet with dim lights. After eating, you decided to get ready for bed. Checking the time, it was 8:09 pm. What’s taking Senju so long? You were genuinely worried for her. You were also scared that you’d lose her just like you lost Haru. And you didn’t want it to happen again so you decide to get into your shoes, lock the house and look for Senju. You ran and ran everywhere. Turning in every direction.
You ran out of breath after running around the town. You found yourself where the train runs. You sat down on one of the benches that train stations usually had. You were trying to catch your breath, wondering if Senju would disappear too. You sat down there for minutes then realized you heard screaming and shouting in the distance. You could barely hear it if you didn’t focus well. You decided to check what was going on. It was quite foggy since it was probably very late. The shouting gets louder and louder as you got closer. Then the fog cleared up, showing hundreds of people fighting. Your heart was beating even faster now. What have you gotten yourself into? You then recognized something. These uniforms, they looked familiar. You take a closer look, trying to avoid catching anyone else’s attention. Oh. There it was. Tokyo Manji Gang was written on these people’s uniforms. There were also ones in white. Is this a massive gang fight? Should I call the police right now?
You were about to run and call for the police until something caught your eye even more. It was Senju. And she was fighting a… a pink haired man in a ponytail. W… was it Haruchiyo??? They were in the middle of the whole crowd and you didn’t know any other way to get there to stop them without being involved in fighting. But an idea struck your head. You crouched down and tried to go through the crowd. Covering your head while your body kept being kicked and stepped on. Since there were a bunch of unconscious bodies on the ground, people didn’t notice you at all. You crawled and crawled, until you finally reached them, but the time you reached them, Senju was already knocked down on the floor and Haru was missing again. You tried to wake Senju up, but she really was knocked down. You brought her body to the side, away from the riot so she wouldn’t get hurt. Next plan was to find Haru. You looked around to find a pink haired man that should’ve stood out but he was no longer in the crowd. So you decided to walk around the crowd where he could possibly be hiding. You went round and round ‘til you found a train. You didn’t mind it but you saw a shadow inside the train. You decided to check it out if someone was still there, then maybe you could ask for help.
“Hey!!” You yelled as you made your way in front of the train. The closer you got the more you recognized who it was. “Haru?!?” you shouted. His head took a peak to see who it was. “Y/N?!?!” He was more shocked than you were. “What the fuck are you doing here???” He asked. “No no no, what are YOU doing there???” You pointed at the train. “That’s none of your business. Now get out of here!” He warned you, but you stood there trying to figure out what he’s trying to do.
Your eyes widened, “Could it be…Haru???” You walked towards him, about to step into the train and stop him. “I said leave!!” He shouted. “I won’t and I don’t want to. Stop this shit Haru!” you yelled back. He let out a ‘tsk’ and finally removing his hands from the train. But then, he reached for the bag behind him, looking like he was searching for something. Then he let out a katana. Eh?- what was he gonna do with that? Don’t tell me – “You leave me no choice, y/n.” He firmly told you. “H-Haru?” you stuttered, slowly stepping back. “I warned you twice, y/n.”
He swung the pommel part of the katana at your head very harshly. It felt like he put all the pressure to hit you in the head. Then pointed the pointy part at the veins of your neck. You were getting unconscious. You felt dizzy and your vision slowly started to go black. Until you felt nothing anymore.
Haru then put his katana back down and brought your body out the train and started continuing what he was doing. You could still hear a bit of things. Someone yelled again, “Sanzu… what are you doing he- Eh?- Who is that???” He was once again interrupted. He was very annoyed now. “No one you need to know.” He paused for a moment. “What the hell are you doing here Kakucho?!”
“It’s just as Takemichi said…”
It was until there that you could hear what they said.
You woke up. Your vision wasn’t clear yet. You felt a severe headache kick in. You were in a hospital room, you assumed. Someone was there beside you, sleeping. Then your vision finally became clear. Oh. It was Senju. “Senju…?” you quietly mumble. She slowly moved her eyes and woke up. Her eyes widened and tears started streaming down her face. “Y/n!” she shouted as she tightly hugged you. “Keep it down a little, will you?” You playfully told her. Your voice still a little hoarse. “It’s been years, how could I keep it down?” She smiled while she sighed, wiping her tears away. Wait – years?--- This time, your eyes were the ones to widen up. “Years…?” you slowly spoke, unaware of what she was saying. “Y/n… you’ve been in a coma for years…” she responded. “I- I’m sorry, if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have –“ guilt struck her once again but that was none of your worries right now. “No no no, I-“ you tried to stand up and walk towards the door but the moment you stood up, you fell down to the floor. “Y/n!!” Senju yelled. “Are you okay?” she asked you. But you were once again trying to process things. “The doctor said that when you wake up, you won’t be able to do many things as much as you used to. Because your muscles haven’t been used too well for years. Hold on here, I’ll call the doctor,” She informed you while helping you go back to the bed and rest.
A few moments later, the doctor came in and informed you about the things you should be doing. The doctor also told you about taking physical therapy. You basically just agreed on everything the doctor had said.
And there it was, months of physical therapy. You never realized how hard it was to walk. You honestly missed the days you could peacefully walk with ease 🥲 but after months of being in the hospital. Today, you were finally getting discharged. Of course, Senju still helped you on the way home and clean your apartment. She kept insisting that she’d stay the night at least for today but you assured her that you could handle things properly now.
The next day, you were supposed to look for new clothes since the clothes in your apartment had some permanent stains on it. But then you got lost since the city changed a little. You found yourself in a sidewalk with some open shops and some abandoned buildings. You tried to locate the current place you were in by checking GPS on the phone, but apparently there was no signal. Oh what luck you had today. You heavily sighed as you tried to look around and remember the place. Although there were abandoned buildings, the place was still crowded with people. You simply looked around and sometimes rated people’s outfits out of boredom. Then, someone caught your attention. A light pink haired guy wearing a pink vest and pink suit pants. Your mind rated it a nine out of ten but all of a sudden, you couldn’t get it out of your mind. It lingered at the back of your mind. It felt like a whole déjà vu. You sat down and thought for a whole minute. Then you remembered, right it was that suit you saw at the clothing store, the one who had the same ponytail as the guy at the train incident. The same hair color and shade of pink. What just differed were the hairstyle. Could it be-? You tried to run after him. Again. You didn’t know why you kept running after him, looking for him, and searching for him. It’s not like there was any valid reason for you to do so. Especially after what he did to you. To be honest, all that you wanted was just to see him again. To see his face and that sweet smile he had on his face.
After all, everything was just a déjà vu, wasn’t it? You, always running after him. But who cares? What matters is, you gotta find him and secure his sweet smile from being tainted.
After a few weeks of visiting the same place that you found Haru in, you still haven’t gotten a single trace of him nor have you found him.
One time, it was 4:00 pm but it started raining and you didn’t bring an umbrella. You decided to find a shelter but the only buildings you could see nearby were abandoned buildings. The rain started pouring heavier so you just went into one that looked stable. It was quite dark in there, making it look like it was nighttime. Finally settling down and trying to dry your clothes, you heard a low and dangerous voice say, “Who’s there?” you flinched at the sudden voice. “I- I was just settling here since it was rainin-“ You heard a gunshot and in instinct, you put your hands up. Your heart started to beat so fast and loud. You almost saw your life flash right before your eyes. “Leave.” The man firmly ordered you. At the same time, thunderclaps got louder, making you flinch even more.
Seconds of silence until he spoke again, “Tsk. Make sure you stay still then,”
Minutes went on and you just stood there. You sat down somewhere stable, making yourself comfortable as if no one was there. “You sound like someone I know… but I don’t think they’d handle a gun.” You randomly told the man. You were still scared but, you just felt like sharing it. “I told you to stay still woman.” He fought back. “I am still, I just talked, chill man.” You argued, mocking him a bit. You don’t know either why you talked like that to someone who is probably a criminal but, something about him made you feel comfortable enough to talk back like this to him. Then you heard footsteps, you thought it was the man who held the gun but it turns out it was someone else. “Who is this, Haruchiyo?” another voice boringly said.
Wait, Haruchiyo?- Was it him after all?- You slowly turned around to take a look at their features.
“I told you not to turn around.” Haru spoke through his teeth.
“Haru…” you softly spoke. He pointed the gun towards you, hesitation clearly showing. His finger, about to pull the trigger. …Bang!
“Stop, Haruchiyo.” The other man ordered.
You closed your eyes, thinking you were gonna be shot. But when you opened your eyes, you could see a white-haired man in a black tee, pointing the gun that Haru held downwards, saving you from being shot.
You heavily sighed in relief, knees dropping down to the floor, and tears flowing like a river. You could hear footsteps grow louder as they get closer.
The white-haired man raised your chin using his index and thumb finger. Taking a very close look on you while you were sniffling and tearing up. “Tell me your name,” He firmly told you. “Y/N,” you responded. Another tsk being heard from the back.
“I see. It’s nice meeting you again, Y/N.” He gave you a little smile, letting go of your chin and going back to Haru. He whispered something to Haru, but that was none of your concern. The man knew you?
“Wait… who are you?” It was your turn to ask. “Mikey.” He answered and went back to whispering something to Haru. A few seconds later, you calmed down. But then... “HAH?!” Haru’s voice echoed in the whole building. Making you curious and you looked at him. He was hiding the blush on his face. Mikey smirked then spoke, “Bye bye.”
“Wait! Boss!!!” Haru once again screamed. But he was too late, Mikey already left. You were clueless, still sitting there. Then Haru turned to give you a cold look so you tried to avoid eye contact. Looking away, he walked towards you. “Stand up. The floor’s dirty.” He spoke, lending you a hand. You slowly turned to look at him and his hand. Accepting his kind offer, you stood up and cleaned the back of your pants. It was still raining hard, so you both decided to watch the busy road through the one-way windows.
“I’ve been looking for you,” you softly confronted him. “I know,” he replied. “What do you mean by ‘I know’?” you asked. “You think you’re being slick? I’m part of the most criminal gang, let that be known, Y/N.” He spoke in a serious tone.
You huff, “So you and Mikey do those type of things now? Wow.”
“This is stupid,” he scoffed. “It isn’t, Haru.” You seriously said.
“I’m sure you have a reason for doing this. Your actions and you disappearing every single fucking time.” You lightly laughed, “It annoys me and I might come off as crazy for, y’know, still not letting go of a literal wanted guy that’s face hasn’t been seen. But you’re still the same. You and Mikey. You both still have a heart deep down. It’s just hard to search for and to tame.” You slowly turned around, walking towards him, “Your feelings will always need to be understood, Haru. Be it a murderer’s, an assassin’s, or the most wanted criminal gang’s.” You hugged him. “I can’t do anything to save you from your actions anymore but I’d gladly go down with you,” you slowly pat his back.
Seconds later, you could feel your shoulders get wet. Small sniffles heard on the side of your ear. You laugh it off, “Are you actually crying right now??”
“No, shut up.” He backed away from the hug, wiping his nose. You gave him a smile, then you noticed that the sun was finally back. Then you were finally able to take a good look at Haruchiyo. “Oh right! I promised to treat you cheesecake, right? Today’s good, yeah?” Not even waiting for his answer you grabbed his wrist and pulled him. You both went to the café that you told Haru about years ago. Thankfully, it was still open ‘til this day.
You went to the cashier and ordered while Haru sat down on a table. “I’d like two cheesecakes please, thank you.” You told the cashier. “Okay, two cheesecakes, is that all?” The cashier asked. You hummed yes as a reply. Then went to the table where Haru sat down. You kept a conversation going on between you two, basically catching up over the years.
It somehow turned into a serious conversation about what Haru did to you for years, especially the coma part.
“I’m… sorry for everything. I made you suffer over the years –“ you cut him off, holding his hand, “Haru… it’s okay. It hurt a ton of shit but you can suffer the consequences later on.” He painfully laughed, not knowing if he should feel relieved or what. “Actually, I –“ He was cut off once again.
“Here are your cheesecakes!” a worker came up to you two, giving you your orders. “Thank you.” You kindly told the worker as the worker walked away. Haru then started to enjoy his cheesecake, cheeks full. Having a small smile on your face, you started to enjoy your cheesecake as well, forgetting that he was supposed to say something.
After eating your cheesecakes, you both left the café. The moon was surprisingly showing up. Oh how time passes by so fast. You both were walking to I don’t know where either, until you remembered something, “Oh! Right,” you talked to yourself, Haru got curious and looked at your direction. You were looking for something inside your bag. When you finally found it, you handed a little bag to Haru. “Hm? What’s this?” He asked. “Open it yourself, idiot,” you teased him. He scoffed, slowly opening the bag. It was a necklace of his birthstone. With the name “Haru” engraved to it. “It was supposed to be a birthday gift for you back then but since you kept disappearing, I didn’t have the chance to give it to you. But Happy Birthday Haru!” You gave him a big smile. A sweet smile appearing on his face because you didn't forget his birthday. You were happy to see Haru smile again. “There’s something better that I’d like as a birthday gift though,” he stated.
“Eh?- Do you not like it? I’m sorr –“ he cut you off by grabbing both of your wrists, and placing his forehead on top of yours, “It would’ve been better if I got a kiss from you, y’know?” he slowly blushed but he chose to close his eyes instead. You chuckled, in nervousness and in embarrassment. Did he just- say that?- you asked yourself. “I love you so much. I wasn’t in my right mind when I hit you- I’m really sorry, y/n. I’ve always liked you. But I don’t think you deser-“
You kissed him. On the lips. Yes, the real deal kiss. Man, was he lucky. But you were luckier, you thought to yourself.
The light poles finally turned on, full moon, quiet streets, and him letting go of your wrist, hands travelling down to your waist, holding you tight, kissing you back.
Fin.
© Matsuri
#✒︎ matsur1 writes#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers x y/n#tokyo revengers x you#sanzu x reader#sanzu x y/n#sanzu x you#sanzu haruchiyo#haruchiyo sanzu#akashi haruchiyo#haruchiyo akashi#senju kawaragi#kawaragi senju#akashi senju#senju akashi#takeomi akashi#akashi takeomi#akashi siblings#sano manjiro#manjiro sano#mikey sano#sano mikey#shinichiro sano#sano shinichiro#kakucho#takemichi hanagaki#hanagaki takemichi#muto yasuhiro#bonten sanzu
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Yard Act (+ Murkage Dave) @ Cabaret Sauvage, Paris, Dream Job Tour, 05.04.24
I made 4th-5th rows! Which isn't bad at all considering how tiny the Cabaret Sauvage is (there's no barrier, the front row's at the foot of the stage. From the 4th row, I wasn't further away from the stage than I was back when I was front row at Ally Pally for Jamie T).
I was once again rewarded for my decision to NOT listen to Murkage Dave before going. Hearing new stuff for the first time live slaps, that's why I love festivals and support acts. Successfully set myself up for a nice surprise ✨
I took a shit ton of videos, kept the parts that were decent enough, and compiled them in a montage like it's 2013. Here's the link:
[YouTube description:
[CW eyestrain: flashing lights @ ppl prone to seizures, proceed with caution]
Disclaimer! I can't afford a fancier phone and I'm no pro. Not to mention the fact that I will NEVER sacrifice my live experiences over footage. So yeah, it's shaky, but again, if I feel like dancing, I'll do just that; and if I'd rather keep my eyes on the band than make sure they're in the frame, that takes priority too. I guess what I'm trying to say is that those are primarily there for me to relive the memories, they weren't meant for aesthetics. Buuut, that doesn't mean I can't share them with you, does it?
Dropping this collection of excerpts from the gig like barging in your living room with a stack of pics from my latest trip. Look, I'm no film editor either, and evidently my brain was stuck in 2013, so that cringeworthy montage will have to do.
I know it's a shame I didn't record Payday & Dark Days (among others), but what can I say? I was too busy moshpitting.]
youtube
The atmosphere was incredible. There was a respectful vibe in the audience that made me feel safe. I actually partook in a pogo wilfully and without fear for the first time in my life and that is a HUGE deal to me bc I'm usually too big of a wuss to try and on the rare occurrences I got caught up in one, people pushed too hard and some wound up hurt. Not this time. No one pushed too hard, no one tripped over, it was all friendly, benevolent horseplay and I HAD fun!!
A few complementary anecdotes:
When they played Land of the Blind, someone from the front row handed James a coin for the 'magic trick' part of the song. Who was this anonymous hero? Was it a spur of the moment decision? Did they just happen to have a coin in their pocket? Did they plan this??? So many questions. Defo in my top 3 most wholesome moments I've witnessed at a gig.
Most of my fellow croissants didn't know the words (I mean apart from The Overload and 100% Endurance bc they're from the 1st album; or they knew the words but couldn't pronounce them? Idk, point is, they didn't sing much), which was to be expected, but there were a few expats & brit tourists here and there, and throughout the concert, after a coupla moshpits & crowd movements, nearly all of us english speakers ended up gathered in a single group and we all sang along together: that was mint.
James pointed at everyone he could see wearing a trench coat and I was among them 🥰
Once again, not so many ppl knew the words, especially the newest songs. And there was me, who's obsessed with song lyrics, singing along nearly the entire time. The look on James' face when he made eye contact with me during When the Laughter Stops, Fizzy Fish and A Vineyard for the North, and realised I was singing too was priceless. He had the same reaction all 3 times lmao. The man was a mix of surprise, confusion, pride and amusement, he's such a sweetheart 🥲 I'm always a tad apprehensive when I get caught singing by the artist bc I don't know how'll they react, they all tend to feel differently about audience participation (e.g. Jamie T loves it so much when we sing along, I suspect it's one of his favourite things about going on stage and Brian Molko didn't pay it much mind, like it made not much of a difference to him lol) but James didn't seem to dislike it (I've heard there are artists who hate it but no one I've seen so far). I posted the bit from the video with the caption "backing vocals from the pit" to my Instagram story mentioning them and they shared it to theirs, so I take it they're okay with pit choirs.
James asked us to make some noise and when he saw how responsive we were, he had us do it 5 more times like he couldn't help himself and his giddy giggling made it impossible to be annoyed with him tbh
I love them. I love them so much.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Bonuses
One thing I didn't include in the video
The mandatory pre-gig youth hostel mirror selfie to show off my fit
Turning my trench coat into an Ace Trench Coat™ with merch
#yard act#dream job tour#murkage dave#where's my utopia?#cabaret sauvage#I loved it so much I'm already plotting to try and catch them in brussels on the 28th#as edmund blackadder would put it: I need a cunning plan
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Off Jumpol
Sweetheart please write a whole essay about him 😘😜
wellllll, if it's asked this nicely 😌 usually I try to contain myself but today you've enabled me :p here's why I believe off jumpol to be literally unmatched:
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
I've said it before, but being an off stan is like following a character in a series. just like khai in theory of love, off has had such an incredible character development which I've never seen for any other actor. his willingness to openly admit his changes & his past flaws is so damn refreshing, and if you're an off fan you can never be bored bc there is no status quo, off is always getting better & better <3
HONESTY
so I've said it before, but I like celebrities who seem genuine & real, and I don't think you get that more than with off. first of all, and that's a thai actor thing, I love his willingness to go out not always looking the best & just enjoying his life like real people do. but mostly I love how much off is himself 100% of the time: he's scolded nosy journalists & fans before, but is also not afraid to apologize like that one time fans kept screaming his name while he was talking to tay & he answered too harshly & took it back. but mostly I love how honest he is about his past & even his present, he's willing to admit he was a player during his uni days & regrets it, and he's willing to admit much he's changed. even though some people see him as cold & scary, if you follow off for more than one minute you'll know that off is pretty much an open book & really doesn't take himself too seriously. for example the interviewer for his iconic gq interview cover, said he was shocked to see off so down to earth & speaking about philosophical topics about his own life that he's reflected on a lot. and off's genuineness is for me his greatest quality.
KINDNESS
even though off is known for his bad mouth lol, he's genuinely the kindest person ever. there are many groups of people he's kind with, the first one being fans. having gone to events he's been a part of, I can safely say off is the only actor (unless joined by gun) who went out of his way to go close to fans & greet us. he often even stays after an event to go back out to greet fans for more than an extra hour! he doesn't need to do that, but he does it bc he truly values his fans greatly. him crying bc he was overwhelmed by his fan's love in y I love you says it all.
the second group is his fellow colleagues. many clips of off have gone viral with him helping his nong's cover up, etc. in awkward situations, and everyone at gmmtv considers off their dad, as countless pictures prove it :)
lastly, service workers. there are compilations of off thanking security guards at the many events he attends, even hugging them, and overall he always treats others with so much respect & kindness, which shows how down to earth he is.
TALENTS
now that we've discussed his personality, let's move on to off's talents. first of all, off has grown to be an excellent actor. his acting in not me was honestly so good it not only blew me away, but also made me so incredibly proud. I think one of off's best strength is his versatility as an actor, because now he can both SLAY emotional, angsty scenes, but since the beginning he's also been an incredible comedic actor thanks to the fact that man's naturally hilarious & improvises lines like no one else. in that sense, he honestly can beat a lot of actors considered better but who don't have as much versatility as him.
apart from acting, off also excells at hosting, be it variety shows like offgun fun night, friend drive or school rangers, or events & others. man can SPEAK, and be fun & entertaining like no one else, while also including guests so seamlessly.
off is also obviously a fashion icon, having both his fashion brand & being an avid fashion collector, so much so that series like theory of love & wolf used HIS OWN clothes for his character's wardrobes. off especially loves vintage & doesn't just shop big brand names but also goes to the chatuchak market to buy more hawaiian shirts. did I mention he's the ceo of wearing hawaiian shirts? bc he is <3
off is an artsy hipster type of guy, enjoying indie movies, taking pictures, going to galleries, etc. and I believe him to have a very artistic vision that is best exemplified by his brand land of something, for which the designs stand out SO MUCH from other thai actors' clothing brand. he's also a business man & has learned from his mistakes which makes him more careful & thoughtful when he invests now. ALSO he's obviously an incredible model & knows all of his angles, slay <3
LOOKS
obviously, off is hot as fuck. this is a shallow world, we have eyes, man's flabbergastingly gorgeous. but what makes off more special than the other handsome actors is of course, his iconic facial expressions. NO ONE can move their face like off does. his facial expressions are what made me fall for him bc they're one of a kind & no one can replicate them to the same extent. those expressions are also what made off's asshole characters like khai, por, etc. actually work by adding layers of cuteness to them. I also want to mention that off is not afraid to experiment with his look which is really nice & makes him stand out once again!
PROFESSIONALISM
lastly, bc I'm a busy gal & I need to cut this short, I think it's very important to mention off's professionalism. I think it's no coincidence a lot of directors envision him as first for a role, notably koo ekkasit for astrophile, fon kanittha for 10 years ticket & the snap25 team for the jungle. it's also to be noted that off creates good relationships with every co-star he has, and keeps those friendships for a long time. no one ever has anything bad to say about him, and because of his work ethics he manages to shine in the eyes of those who decide the faith of his career. and that makes me confident he'll keep soaring high :)
xxx
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10 Stories from the Past Year
And now, to celebrate my one year anniversary on Tumblr, let's take a look back to all the stories I’ve published in the past year. Here's a short list of my top 5 grossing stories (based on number of notes) and my personal top 5 favorite stories. Each story contains a short blurb of the storyline and the latter 5 contain a little note from yours truly about the inspiration behind the story. Every story title is clickable too, so please feel free to click and reread an old fav or read it for the first time! God, it was so much fun going back down memory lane to compile this list. I got to reread some of my most enjoyable stories (and cringe at some of my less than proud stories too...) But anyway, here’s the compilation!
Top 5
1. Shady App - 674 notes
Don’t mess with the dark web or you might end up in a shady situation. Protagonist learns that the hard way after messing around with a strange app called “Body Lottery,” an app said to give the user an all new life with just a few clicks away.
Extra note: it’s funny and somewhat fitting that the top story award goes to my very first published story. a little haha moment.
2. Payback - 601 notes
This cocky jock is having a bad day and is in desperate need for a blowjob to blow off some steam. Unfortunately for him, he took out his bad mood on the wrong guy during a good old fashioned Grindr hook up. Now he’s got bigger problems to worry about than simply not getting sexual relief.
3. More Fun With You - 581 notes
Protagonist is regretting his decision about telling his new boyfriend about his ability to possess other people. Instead of getting freaked over the supernatural, his boyfriend is very enthusiastic about it, even going as far as wanting to get possessed. And all for a certain reason even Protagonist can’t deny the pros of.
4. Not So Accidental Possession - 542 notes
Protagonist has the extraordinary gift of astral projection. But one night while exploring the astral plane, Protagonist accidentally discovers he can slip inside and take control of other people in his metaphysical form when he gets too close to his dad’s body. Skip a few years later when the new neighbor Ricky moves in, Protagonist plans to have another “accidental body possession.”
5. Don't Judge a Book By Its Cover - 511 notes
There’s some shady experiments going on in the classified, top secret side of the FBI. When an unnamed intern volunteers himself to be a guinea pig, he quickly finds himself on the short end of the stick. But after taking the time to properly adjust, he couldn’t be happier with what he got from the sci-fi like experiment.
Honorable Mentions:
Side Business - 503 notes
Magic Dust - 462 notes
My Top 5
1. Happy Birthday -
Celebrating a birthday can be tough when you've got a busy life juggling work and college like me. But what was supposed to be an ordinary day turned out to be anything but when my best possession friend rolls into town with the best birthday present ever.
Not to toot my own horn, but this story I wrote as a gift to myself takes the cake on being my top favorite story. I had so much fun going all out for myself while writing it, and to this day I still reread it and go "wow! that’s hot as fuck."
2. Black Tattoo -
Miguel is in need of design ideas for new tattoos. While his roommate Cal- an artist with an orthodox style, offered a design for free, he won't give Miguel any more unless he commissions them. Broke and desperate for more tattoos, Miguel steals Cal's artwork and suffers the consequences because of it.
I can't say I remember where exactly the inspiration for this story came from. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if my thoughts while brainstorming this one went something like this: “Hm... What if tattoos were the reason some guy lost control over his body? Yeah, that sounds cool, let’s do that.”
3. New Generation -
Saul has a very conservative, traditional view of what a man should be. When his son Enrique doesn't measure up to Saul's idea of what a man should be, the machista makes Enrique's life growing up a living hell all the way till his death. What came after death was something neither Saul nor Enrique could've ever anticipated.
CW: domestic abuse
This one hits closer to home for me. Growing up queer is never easy. Admittedly, this story plays into one of my fantasies of bigoted people getting their comeuppance. I believe in reincarnation, and I also believe that how a person behaves in this life will impact how their next life will go. Mix all of that together with some TF kink, and out came this story.
4. Watermelon Challenge -
The latest trends have hit Tiktok and this one’s all about bodybuilders crushing watermelons with their thighs. Of course, a big and strong hunk like Mo Saffari just had to take part in the challenge! Unfortunately for Mo, while he was busy playing fruit ninja with his legs, the health department had issued a warning to the general public about a potentially harmful bug in watermelons with some interesting side effects if digested.
I love Mo Saffari and I wanted to write a story involving him. That’s it, that’s the story behind this one; and it just so happened to become one of my favorites over time.
5. Symbiotic Relationship / Ocean Freak -
Two guys who have devoted their lives to something (one plants, the other the ocean) are going through a hard time in life. As a reward for all of the love and/or devotion they’ve given, the object of their affection returns the favor by transforming their bodies and thus easing their mental and emotional anguish.
Extra note: Each title is its own story.
I was debating whether or not to group these two stories together but I decided to do so in the end. Both of these stories come from the early period of my TF writing career when I was still trying to find my own writing style as well as when I was in a different state of mind than I am now. What can I say, I’m a sucker for good hearted people receiving the same kindness they give to other people when they’re in times of need. Granted, the other person in both of these stories is Mother Nature, but details details.
Thanks again everyone for all the love and support on my writing! I hope you've all found a story or two or many more to enjoy from my page! Here's to celebrating one year of writing stories on Tumblr and to many more to come in the future! Cheers!! 🍾
- Captain M.W.
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Self-Celebration
me: oh no, I've gotten nothing done, I'm a failure
them: wow, Danni, how do you do so much????
I, maybe, need a good reminder of all of my accomplishments, so here we go. Everything I've accomplished this year so far. That I remember, anyway.
Threw together my HP Astro series; edited and formatted and posted to AO3 in time for Bethy's birthday!
Got White Lies & Silver Bells ready to go live on AO3 as soon as Hoggywartyxmas reveals were up!
Wrote Again (and Again) on a whim, to accompany A-Loveunlaced's Snarry art
Wrote a BUNCH of random drabbles for a House of Snarry challenge. 6 of which I also posted to AO3! (A handful of which I have not yet.)
Wrote 5 fics for Kinkuary! 2 of which are in the same universe as Contempt. 2 of which are not yet posted (waiting for the 27th and 28th!) 1 of which (the longest of which) I wrote, edited, and posted same day! The day after I had a tooth extraction.
Wrote 3 fics for Chan Fest! All of which I wrote, edited, and posted same day. 2 of which are 5k+ words!
Various words in various other places.
Brainstorming for other fics.
Co-modding @hp-chan-fest
Starting @hp-fruit-fest (and running solo, RIP me)
Modly duties on the Snarry Sanctuary Discord server
Keeping on top of my AO3 comments! (You know, responding to them.)
New HP Astro posts (Lily, Snily, Luna, and Ron (to be posted 3/1/23!))
Made several ship and fic related playlists on Spotify
Made TONS of fic banners on Canva.
Several rec lists! 8 posted so far, and a few queued up!
Got my home office all set up and cozy!
Brainstorming ideas with friends
Helping alpha/beta/cheer read for friends
Try to stay involved in the community/socializing on Discord, Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit.
Supporting other creators as much as possible!
Finally took the time to learn how to create work skins on AO3!
And site skins!! And finally got all fic stats and personal stats hidden (for mental health!)
Fought with site skin codes on behalf of a friend, to get it tuned to her liking, so that she has a clean and stress-free environment if/when she returns to fandom! (The perks of having your friends' AO3 login haha!) (This took like an hour I stg and I was being way too stubborn to stop fiddling and consult a guide.) (But oh well, I did the dang thing!!!!)
Started compiling resources I need to begin book binding! Still a ways off before I can start cuz supplies are not cheap, but I'm on the right path!
ALSOOOOO
Working a full time job
Spending time with my longtime partner (my beloved Eddie-bear!)
I actually watched a still-newish show for once! Wednesday!
Finished reorganizing/decluttering my home
Baked...a lot. Mostly cookies. Going to bake brownies this weekend!
Many doctor's appointments
And medication changes
I filed my taxes!!
Oh yeah and started being a teensy bit more sociable at work! I had a nice long conversation about ASTROLOGY the other day which was fun and great and awesome.
Oh let's not forget about all my work accomplishments! I made 8 years with my company. All the people coming and going (which I get to deal with.) Our census going way up. Many IT calls and playing IT person for small tech problems. Many errands run. Oh yeah and all the new tasks I get to do because our funder and our corporate office BOTH love changing expectations frequently.
So like...there's stuff I wish I could do and haven't been able to yet. But I'm far from a failure! Or lazy, for that matter. I am a lady of ACCOMPLISHMENT.
#danpuff stuff#personal#self-love is self-care#gotta recognize my wins#my therapist is going to be so proud
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February Project Updates
The move is done! I'm settled in at home again and it feels great! I can quickly feel my ability to function coming back to me. It's also nice to be going swimming again, my local pool finally has its upper floor showers fixed, so I don't have to go up and down the stairs as often. On the other hand the construction that's been blocking my girlfriend, and I's shortcut for going grocery shopping is still blocked, and likely will be until summer. Other construction is finished, and new ones started, such as it is living in the city.
Moving was the focus this February, but I did get a couple of art things done.
Hourly Comics Day
Hourly comics day was a blast this year. I'd only participated a couple of times before, and I don't think I ever manged to finish the whole day. That was back in university, so I thought I'd give it another shot. It ended up going pretty smoothly. I stumbled into a style that worked well when doing the 9am comic. It's pretty quick to do, I like how the final result looks, and any rough edges feel intentional.
I did find it took a LOT of focus and about halfway through the day I stopped drawing comics every hour so that I could concentrate on the work I needed to do. I still took notes every hour of what I wanted to draw later.
I had to stay up late to finish drawing the catch-up comics but I was having fun so it's all good.
I always enjoy seeing diary comics, it's nice to have a glimpse into other people's everyday lives and thoughts. With the medium of comics specifically - it's fun to see how people depict themselves and their surroundings. What they put more effort into drawing, what they leave out completely, how they stylize things. Most of the time we see artists draw from a built-up image bank to make made-up objects or from refs found online, there's something a little different that comes across when drawing something one uses day to day. At least it certainly feels different to draw it! My favorite panel to do was drawing the sink full of dishes.
You can find my full day of hourly comics here, I'm still working on putting together that pdf/zine of them
Erwin Zine
I put together this zine of photos of my parent's cat, I already miss him <3
2023 Sketchbook Compilation
I finished the intro, I still have the cover and outro to do. Will be wrapping that up soon :)
March Goals
I haven't thought much about what I want to get done in March yet... I'll be leaving that for next week's me as I get back to figuring out the perspective issues on this commission I'm working on.
That's all for now - I hope you enjoy your last couple weeks of winter o reader of mine.
#project updates#a new attempt at addressing you the reader#if you remember my previous conflict between using you all or yous#let me know if it's too awkward or if it's a nice touch of drama
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youtube
This is a really good video, I love the analogy in it, though I want to add another point that might not be relevant to the YouTubers quitting, but is to me.
It can really suck when the project you are passionate about and really want to make is ignored.
Like I’m not normally one to whine about numbers, but it is demotivating when I pour everything into something I’m super passionate about only for no one to care. It’s part of the reason I haven’t worked much on Xenoblade 3’s DLC essay despite somewhat promising it.
The highlight videos are some of my favorite pieces of content I’ve ever made, but they took weeks of work keyframing, adjusting audio, making assets only to get barely any views.
I still have old projects lying around for highlights of Ori and Untitled Goose Game I likely will never finish.
My LP of SA1 had so much info compiled and I did a lot to make that work, but it just didn’t kick off. I was hopeful something fun like Untitled Goose Game would catch the eye of my regular audience and maybe get them interested in my gaming content, but it didn’t. I did more casual and edited playthroughs of things like Sonic Frontiers and The Murder of Sonic, videos I think are very good and honestly are what I enjoy making the most at the moment, but same result.
I actually have a roughcut project that's essentially a blind Future Redeemed playthrough. I recorded it for notes and eventual essay footage, although polishing it for upload is tempting, I don't know if it's worth the effort.
I understand I’ve always been a variety channel with a focus on KinzTube, so interest in gaming topics isn’t going to be as high, but even when I made another Signature Island episode, what people kept saying they wanted, it didn’t perform as well as a low-effort video talking about a movie that was also unrelated to Webkinz.
It took almost 6 months to break 1,000 views compared to the 45 days of an off-the-cuff video which says nothing valuable.
I know no matter how much effort I put into a video, a plush collection or unboxing will always be more popular. It sucks because collections are very repetitive to make and I’m too broke to constantly be buying Webkinz only to earn less on a video than the package cost.
It’s also tiring because Webkinz is a shrinking brand, so if I did stick to just making KinzTube videos, my channel would die anyways.
Stuff like this does eat away at your motivation. It's rough when the only person who values your work is you. I don’t know if that was the case for all the people quitting, but I know it’s draining me.
#mirror post from twitter#but yeah something that's been on my chest since...god i made that last si episode#maybe i'll make this into a talking video i'm not sure right now#like i said it's been something on the back burner for awhile#Youtube
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It was a nice day at work. I am feeling really tired tonight but I think that's mostly because I am cold. Very much ready to go to bed.
I slept alright last night but my nose was all stuffy and painful when I woke up and so I felt really really tired. James came and gave me a big hug as soon as I sat up after my alarm went off. It helped me feel better.
I got cleaned up and dressed. Wore the new crew neck my mom got me. I just wanted to be cozy. I was struggling a little. My fingers hurt really bad and I couldn't get my shoe on and James helped me because they love me and I was very grateful.
James and me left together. I always like watching them bike away. It was very cold today. Frosty. I'm glad it feels like winter.
I had a nice drive to camp. And got there alright at 8. I was happy to be inside where it was warm.
I had a productive morning. I had my breakfast and started working on writing up a description for the CIT program. I would use chatgbT to give me some framework and worked on using that to build up a really professional description. I am pretty pleased. I would print that and the schedule I made. Then decided to do more printing. I figure that since we are going to have a meeting about the 3 things we wanted to accomplish with John the consultant. Cit program, training, new programs.
Alexi would come in around 9. And everyone else would come in within the hour. Sarah worked on research for the training manual. I would go through some old documents and pulling things I think will be helpful. Games and reading and such.
It was a really productive morning though. I would take a walk to the lodge. I filled my water over there and chatted with Joe. He teased me about forgetting my stuffing from the holiday party, but I was glad to have my cookware back.
I looked at the books in the musuem. I went and looked at the nurses office because they are almost done fixing the roof. Very nice.
I would have lunch when I got back to the office. And while I was eating I decided I should come up with a document for meal ideas for dietary restrictions for the summer so I don't have to try and think of options when I'm very close to tears during the summer.
This would be like a two hour research project. Looking into other camps menus. I found an article about Jewish and 7th day Adventists camps and they had lots of options! So I researched how to make them vegan or gluten free or nut free. And I only had like 2 fake meat options.
After asking Heather, I found out where the kitchen orders their food from so I was able to compile links for ingredients. I was very proud of myself.
Once I was done that I had a zoom meeting with Hawa and Mike from the national guards and I'm thrilled that I have 2 workshops on the calendar with them now. One is a paint and sip style, that we are calling a "paint along", and the other I think will be a printmaking.
I had to make some invoices for them. And that took a minute. But that was just fine.
I would finish my day with designing some stickers ideas for each village. I had a lot of fun creating that. I want to play with the idea of merch for camp more. We will see if any of it actually gets used but still it's fun to design it.
I would also decide on my birthday countdown project. I'm going to do a sticker sheet/flash sheet, with a daily drawing. I'm excited. That will start on the 15th.
I said goodbye to everyone and would head out. I told Sarah I would check at Manor Mill for her last bowl while I was looking for my last 5 pieces. And it is such a quick drive over. I was happy to see my pieces. The colors weren't what I was expecting but I love love love my bear bowl. I'm going to keep my jewelery in it.
I went home and got here before James. I was happy to be home. I put some stuff away. And worked on sending some emails. James got home as I was starting to do my knitting for the day. I love how it looks so far. I know we are still really early in the project but I am setting a good precedent and already weaving in the ends. I will have to sew them down once the month is done but I am very pleased so far.
James would sit with me and tell me all about their day while I worked. And I would show them the documents I made and made me feel very smart and professional. I love my husband.
They got us frozen pizzas we could microwave for dinner. And after we ate they went to play DND with their friends. Well actually it's a different game but same idea. It was nice to see friends' faces.
I took a shower and washed my hair and now I am in bed in my cozy jumpsuit. I am very much ready to sleep.
I hope tomorrow is a good day. And I hope you all have fun. Stay safe. Wash your hands. I love you all.
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