Black Swan - Seokjin

When Finland’s Käärijä took the stage at this year’s Eurovision, a star was instantly, explosively born. With an outrageous energy, infectious presence and that oh-so-catchy hook, the Vantaa-based rapper may not have won the contest but he certainly snatched the hearts of those in his home country and beyond. We ask Käärijä the million dollar question: what next?

[full article under the cut]

Last May, a peculiar frenzy engulfed Finland. Virtually all green foods – cucumbers, especially – were sold out from stores. Buildings across the land were bathed in vivid green lights. Social media brimmed with green-themed parties, while data obtained by Swedish fintech company Klarna showed a 570 per cent increase in the online sales of neon green shirts.

This phenomenon was all thanks to Käärijä, the rapper who represented Finland in the 2023 Eurovision Song Contest. His now-infamous, blazing green puff sleeve bolero – dreamt up by Finnish broadcasting company Yle’s costume design team and which he dons when performing the smash hit track ‘Cha Cha Cha’ – had taken on a life of its own, the lush hue uniting the entire nation amid the competition. “It was incredible to see it happen and so cool being part of it,” Käärijä says. “It wasn’t planned at all – it was the people who created the commotion. I’ll definitely never forget it.”

When we speak over Zoom, Käärijä, whose real name is Jere Pöyhönen, is lounging in his minimal apartment in Vantaa, a city just outside Helsinki. He appears on my screen shirtless, a chunky gold chain dangling on his neck. On his head sits a pastel turquoise cap adorned with little cat ears. As he gestures with his hands, I spot flashes of poison green nail varnish. Pöyhönen’s chosen attire, or lack thereof, is extremely fitting – he typically performs bare-chested (“It gets so hot during my gigs”) and his Instagram handle is @paidatonriehuja, or ‘shirtless rascal’.

Hot off a performance in western Finland, the 29-year-old is enjoying his first days off in a while. It’s been a sweltering summer of non-stop touring, with fans flocking to festivals and concerts nationwide to see his explosive live show. Things are not winding down either, with Käärijä heading off on his first-ever European tour this month. Some of these shows sold out in mere minutes, an indication of his immense international following. “It’s so exciting; I’m definitely jumping into a new territory with that tour,” Pöyhönen says. “But I don’t have any expectations – I’m just going to let everything happen organically rather than stressing about it.”

Although he created one of this year’s buzziest songs, the guy on my screen is humble and, save for his look, almost un assuming. I remark on the stark contrast to his fiery and flamboyant stage presence. “Through Käärijä, I get to channel all the craziness, quirkiness and hyperactivity I’ve had since I was a child,” Pöyhönen says, describing himself offstage as “just this ordinary dude”. Without delving into further details, he tells me that the name Käärijä (translating roughly to moneymaker) stems from a history with gambling. Despite the darkness of its origin, he notes that the moniker is to be taken with a grain of salt.

While it might seem like Käärijä exploded into the public consciousness from obscurity, Pöyhönen has a long journey in music behind him. Born in Helsinki but having spent most of his youth in Vantaa, he started dabbling in the medium at just three years old. Coming from a musical family (“My dad and big brother both play the guitar”), jamming sessions were commonplace in the Pöyhönen household, his instrument of choice being the drums. “I was playing with pots and spoons before I got a set of those plastic kids’ drums,” he says. “When we moved to a bigger house, we built a band room downstairs where me and my brother spent a lot of time practising.”

At that time, rap music hadn’t yet entered Pöyhönen’s life; he was strictly a self-described “metal guy”. His older brother had instilled in him a love for the genre, particularly metal icons Rammstein. Upon starting high school, his musical taste broadened and he began listening to Eminem and popular Finnish rap groups Fintelligens and JVG. “Me and my friends were filming our own music videos to old rap songs, learning the words by heart,” Pöyhönen says. “It [making rap music] pretty much started as this humour thing I did with my mates.”

Encouraged by his loved ones, Pöyhönen began writing his own songs, still playing it for laughs. Turned out he had a knack for it. “Since I was little, I’ve been an avid storyteller – my imagination ran a little wilder than the rest of the kids’ at my school,” he says. “So when I started making music, I didn’t even need inspiration; I was able to whip up the lyrics from my head.”

But then, at 15, an unexpected turning point came by way of a severe sudden illness. Rushed to the hospital with ulcerative colitis, a chronic inflammatory bowel disease, Pöyhönen underwent emergency surgery to remove his colon. Had he not been treated immediately, the complications could have been fatal. “I was writing songs in the hospital – music became a source of strength for me,” he says. “I decided that if I make it through this, I’m going to give my all to music and be serious about it.”

After over a decade of hard work and countless hours in the studio, Käärijä released his first album, Fantastista (Fantastic), in 2020, but it would take three years for him to become a household name in Finland. After snapping up the top prize in Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu (the Finnish contest for new music) with his party anthem ‘Cha Cha Cha’, a song dedicated to a hedonistic night out fusing rap, electronic music and metal, he secured the coveted spot as his country’s entrant for the 2023 Eurovision, held in Liverpool. One of Pöyhönen’s craziest dreams had come true.

For Pöyhönen, Eurovision was “an amazing but immensely tough experience”. The event’s intense schedule and the little time carved out for practising surprised the artist. There was no room for errors or retakes once it was time for rehearsals. “They didn’t give much mercy,” he says. On the bright side, the long days filled with “lots of press conferences and waiting around” gave Pöyhönen a chance to get to know the other artists. “The group we had there was wonderful – there wasn’t a competitive atmosphere at all,” he says. One of the contestants he became especially close with was Sweden’s Loreen, with whom he exchanged numbers and promised to “meet up and talk about everything else but music”.

By the time the grand finale came, Käärijä’s explosive performance and infectious song had made him one of the favourites to win. Ultimately he came second, while Loreen nabbed first place. How did Pöyhönen handle the letdown? “It was a huge disappointment, but in the end, the feeling didn’t last long,” he says. “When I thought about how far I’d gotten, the incredible journey it was and all the new friends I made, I realised that these things are far more meaningful than winning.” Plus, he still achieved something major: ‘Cha Cha Cha’ made history as the first ever Finnish song to reach Spotify’s global most-listened charts. The track’s reach proved to Pöyhönen that language doesn’t matter; it’s all about creating a singular, infectious sound: “The mouth is just as much of an instrument as the piano or the guitar is,” he says.

Having made history, I ask Pöyhönen if he felt any pressure after the Eurovision bubble had burst. “Of course there are the thoughts of ‘what now?’ and ‘is this going to be it, will anyone be interested anymore next year?’ – I’m aware that the hype won’t last forever,” he says. “But I’m onto creating the next thing, trying not to feel any pressure for future releases. I haven’t done that before, so why would I do that now?”

Pöyhönen hints at a new album dropping sometime next year, but in the meantime, he’s enjoying the attention – including his Vogue Scandinavia debut. Shot at the extraordinary home of the late interior architect Antti Nurmesniemi and his wife, textile artist Vuokko Nurmesniemi, we find the space where Pöyhönen and Käärijä meet, the quiet confidence mingling with that more-is-more persona.

And while Käärijä might develop as a character (“I want to show that he’s more than just a bolero chap”), he’s adamant that he will stay true to his music and keep singing in Finnish, despite the sudden international attention. “In the end, I’m doing this for myself,” he says. “Also, why change something that works?”

Photographer: Karoliina Bärlund Stylist: Sanna Silander Talent: Käärijä Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist: Neea Kuurne Photographer Assistant: Milja Laakso Stylist Assistant: Nelli Korhonen

Young One

! Pairings ,' Guitarist!Ellie x Singer!Reader ! CW ,' angst/no comfort, mentions of drinking, cheating, mentions of abuse, smoking, mentions of self-harm, depression??? ! words ,' 2.2k ! synopsis ,' Your band has a reunion years after you and the guitarist have a nasty breakup (Modern AU) ! song ,' Mind Over Matter (Reprise) - Young the Giant

"Mind over matter I'm in tatters thinking 'bout her"

! AN ,' Yall wanted this 😭 I’M SO SORRY FOR THE RUSHED ENDING BTW, I CHANGED IT SO MANY TIMES AND EVENTUALLY JUST GAVE UP. Also, I have no idea if this is how bands work, I just based the first half off of one of my favorite movies 😭😭😭

The band had disbanded years ago, to the public, it was due to creative differences. You all remained silent as your old manager spoke to a man who came to discuss an upcoming music festival. The real reason for the disbandment remained a vivid memory, etched deeply within everyone's mind. The tension between you and the brunette was palpable, an unspoken rift that even a fleeting glance couldn't bridge. “For fuck’s sake Ellie, we’re in the middle of a tour. You have the worst goddamn timing”

“I cheated on you and all you can think about is the timing? The tour? Are you kidding me?!”

The words still echoed in your ears, in her ears.

You were all invited to this meeting because you were invited to play at one of the biggest music festivals in America. Numbness wrapped around your being as you sat, not far from the woman you love loved.

“…they’re asking you to play 11 songs, your hits.” the man finished saying. Your old bandmates looked at each other before a chorus of “yeah, sure” “I’m g” broke out. Even Ellie agreed. Then, like an unwavering spotlight, all eyes fell on you, including those green ones you longed to claw out. Slowly, you turned to face the man.

“How much are we being paid?” you asked, your tone devoid of emotion. A ripple of surprise swept through the room. Your brow raised, “What?” you asked, a tinge of annoyance seeping into your voice. It was a simple question, after all.

“Nothing…it’s just…you never asked stuff like that before. You always let me and Ellie talk about the money.” Jesse said softly, trying to laugh off how nervous he was when your cold gaze flickered from him and back to the man.

You scoffed, “well, this isn’t just any gig, you’re banking on our past and history here, that’s a big deal so I’m assuming we’re going to be paid well for this? I’ll only do this if the price is right” Your words lacked warmth, causing your bandmates to tense, while your narrowed eyes remained fixed on the man, who promptly nodded. “Y-yeah, usually headliners are paid 4 million so I’m guessing that’s what they’ll give you.” he stammered, his nerves palpable. You nodded slowly, mulling it over for a moment before agreeing. The meeting concluded, and the day melted away, seamlessly transitioning into the next, and then the next, until it was a day away. The band delved into rigorous practice sessions every day, preparing for the forthcoming festival. Bitterness veiled your every move, but you didn’t complain, just doing whatever you were asked to. During rehearsals, Ellie caught sight of the familiar haze clouding your eyes and the tight grip on the microphone as you sang. The only time she had seen you this way before was during the month of mourning when your mother passed away, a time when she stood by your side, pulling you from the abyss threatening to engulf you. She yearned to be there for you now, but the weight of guilt from that night years ago prevented her from even meeting your gaze. You had never sung again after leaving the band. Each song you had penned for the group carried echoes of her, and performing those melodies, born from one of the most beautiful periods of your life, took a toll on your weary soul. All the pain and longing that you hid under your anger for years surged forth, threatening to consume you. Your gaze pulled towards her during breaks, and smoking sessions with the band, but neither of you talked unless it was important. You remained silent in the corner, a lit joint held between your fingers, as the others laughed and bantered. Your eyes stared blankly ahead, and Ellie couldn't help but worry. Every time you lifted the joint to your lips, the sleeves of your shirt would slightly retreat, briefly revealing old and new scars. She wished she weren't the sole witness to the depth of your current pain, she felt she had no right to care or help. She had no idea what happened to you during the years you didn’t see each other, but your pain was as clear as day, at least to her. Because no one else here knew you like she did, and that filled her with all kinds of pain and regret. When the band split up, she continued making music, coping with the heartbreak in a healthier way than you did. She released singles and albums but you refused to listen to them. You refused to subject yourself to songs about the various women she encountered. Yet, you were mistaken, for they were all about you, each one an apology. She was able to put her pain on paper and in music while you had nowhere else to put your pain. You refused to write or sing songs because every verse that came to your mind was entwined with her, and you couldn't bear to immortalize the woman who had betrayed you. So you kept everything locked inside. When you found yourself rotting away at a job you hated, you remained silent. When you moved in with your abusive brother, you remained silent. You couldn't share your struggles with anyone, because they weren’t Ellie. She was the only one who understood you, at least that’s how it was in the early days of your relationship. Sighing softly, drowsiness washed over you. You stubbed out the joint and leaned your head back onto the wall, drowning out the voices of your high bandmates.

You were all at a bar, just hanging out after a successful concert. All your bandmates were by the bar or on the dance floor while you were seated on a couch, writing in your notebook. Ellie, growing weary of watching you engrossed in your notebook, felt a heaviness settle in her heart. Her heart grew heavy when a fan approached her and started flirting with her because you saw and didn’t even bat an eye. She couldn’t help but feel unimportant to you, a feeling that had plagued her for months as the band's popularity grew, causing you to neglect her more and more. She missed your touch, your attention, you, and there she was, a girl offering everything she wanted from you. In a drunken haze, she succumbed to temptation and led that fan back to her hotel room. She told Jesse to tell you she wasn’t feeling well and went back to the hotel. You initially didn’t plan on leaving the bar so early, knowing she’d probably be better in an hour so you weren’t that worried. But you wanted to show her some of the lyrics you were able to come up with at the bar so you walked to her hotel room a few hours after she left. The hotel, a grand establishment adorned with marble walls and elegant chandeliers, exuded an air of opulence. As you approached her door, poised to knock, it swung open before you. Eyes widening, you beheld a disheveled beauty, her hair tousled, makeup smudged, and attire askew, being pushed out by your girlfriend who’s eyes were just as wide as yours. The girl awkwardly left, leaving you two to stare at each other in silence. She was the first to speak. “Y/N-” You scoffed, interrupting her as your features blend of sorrow and anger, a shield you donned all too often. Weary, she groaned softly, pleading, "Please, let me explain." “Are you fucking kidding me!?” your eyes narrowed. “I can’t fucking believe you.” Sneering, you turned, striding towards the elevator. She followed, desperate to mend what had been broken. “Look I’m sorry but you’ve been busy for weeks and I got lonely, I know that’s no excuse but c’mon, we can fix this.” she pleaded, her words hanging in the air. “For fuck’s sake Ellie, we’re in the middle of a tour. You have the worst goddamn timing” you said, voice overflowing with anger and hurt but you refused to shout or scream. Your words made her pause. “I cheated on you and all you can think about is the timing? The tour? Are you kidding me?! Do you even love me?” Her voice rose, taking a step closer to you, bridging the distance between you, and you were cursing the elevator for moving so goddamn slow. Heart pounding, eyes shut tight, you whispered, “fuck….I can’t do this…I’m leaving.” Her scoff pierced the air. “Fine! Leave!” she retorted, consumed by a fit of fury. You met her gaze with narrowed eyes. "Fuck you, I quit," you retorted bitterly, striding out as the elevator doors revealed the lobby. Racing out of the building and calling for a cab. Once your words settled in her mind, she ran after you. You were already in the cab though, telling the driver to go to the airport. All she could do was pound on the window, her cries desperately begging you not to leave her. Ignoring her pleas, you busied yourself with messaging Jesse about the situation and to pack your stuff for you cause you were going home. “Y/N!” “Y/N!” “Y/N”

Your eyes fluttered open to see Ellie, kneeled in front of you with a raised brow. She masked her nervousness and sadness, striving not to let them surface. “You okay?” she asked, a question that had echoed between you countless times in the past. In that fleeting moment, an overwhelming surge of tears threatened to spill, the urge to tell her that you weren't okay, that you needed help, welled up within you. Yet, mistaking her nonchalant tone for apathy, you stifled the tears, offering her a brief nod. Hastily, you rose from the floor, realizing that you and Ellie were the sole occupants left in the room—everyone had already left. You rushed to the door, accidentally knocking down her guitar in the process. You awkwardly picked it up, pausing to look at your initials engraved in the back along with hers before putting it back against the wall.

You slowly turned to her, but once you saw that look on her face, the one that told you she yearned for you and that she was there for you, you let fear take over and guide you out the door, out the building, and to your house.

The next day you all traveled to the festival, hours going by fast as you all waited for your turn to perform. With your band slated to close the show, you sat in your chair, donning a tight, short black spaghetti strap dress and long black gloves to cover scars and bruises while two girls tended to your hair and makeup. Through the mirror's reflection, your gaze locked with Ellie's, her worried eyes fixed upon you, barely registering Jesse's attempt at conversation. Realizing her distraction, Jesse glanced in your direction, then back at her, he shook his head at her and gave her a knowing look.

Once you reached the last song of your set, you were already near tears. It had been years since you allowed yourself to be so vulnerable, pouring your heart into songs about the woman standing beside you, strumming her guitar for thousands of onlookers, after having been emotionally distant for far too long.

Ellie sensed it, as you sang, your eyes shimmering with a glossy sheen, your grip on the microphone so tight that your knuckles trembled, and your arms quivered ever so slightly. You were losing it and she just wanted to hold you.

“You know you’re on my mind?”

As you hit one of the higher notes of the song, you turned a little sideways, so you were still facing the crowd but you could now lock eyes with her. You both got lost in the moment, consumed by the passion embedded in your melodic words and the strums of her guitar.

“And when the seasons change Will you stand by me? Cause I’m a young one built to fall” As the song ended, whispering the last few lyrics, the crowd cheered loudly, but you heard none of it. The violent ringing in your ears overpowering the noise as an emptiness settled within you.

You didn't know how or when you arrived there, but numbness slipped away as reality crashed upon you. In the backstage bathroom, your back pressed against the wall, Ellie's body pressed fervently against yours, lips moving violently against the other. Your arms wrapped around her neck as her hands gripped your hips tightly. You hated how happy you felt when her lips first met yours a few minutes ago. All the memories from years ago where you’d find yourself in this similar situation after concerts came back to you. It was so similar but so different—her lips, her skin, her taste—all held a haunting familiarity, overwhelming you in this moment. Her lips trailed down your jaw and neck, leaving light marks upon your skin. Then, it struck you—the image of her hands on that other girl, her lips on that other girl—and your heart broke all over again. So you shoved her away.

Her eyes widened, a string of apologies tumbling from her lips, but you tuned it out, the all-too-familiar ringing returning to fill your ears.

“fuck….I can’t do this…” those familiar words left your lips and she realized what was happening, you were walking out again.

She stood there, her heart racing wildly, tears streaming down her face, as you ran out, unable to halt the flood of emotions. She finally got to hold you for the first time in years, only to watch you slip through her fingers once more. Her skin tingled, clinging to the lingering touch of your presence but you weren't even there anymore.

The next time she’d ever get to see your pretty face again would be in pictures from online articles on how you died that very night. "Another young one lost"

Undertale Yellow - Thoughts

Do you ever touch a piece of media and it hits you so hard that you just decide to drop all your artistic responsibilities for a day and write something to get your thoughts down into a single coherent place.

Well, uh… let’s talk about Undertale Yellow.

Please avoid if you intend to play and do not want spoilers as this delves heavily into topics laid down in the pacifist route. Also please note this contains content warnings for child death, so don’t touch if that ain’t your cup of tea. Like all Youtubers would say, please play the game before you read this, because this experience is best enjoyed in its original form.

The first issue i am struck with before getting too deep into this topic is that this is a fan project. While i, as a fan creator, enjoy feedback on my work; even if it is a little biting at times, i don’t know the pulse of the team in this regard. After all, this had no price tag and was purely a labour of love with seven hard years of development behind it.

i also don’t know how the development of this project was handled and if it was a collaborative effort from start to finish or different teams worked on different sections with an overarching goal. All i have is my own experience of modding for Hearts of Iron IV where my efforts were focused on singular nations and not overarching plots. If different sections were handled by different teams, please don’t take a critique or praise of any singular section as a slight against your work, it was all fantastic just some areas were more fantastic than others.

i enjoyed the mod, immensely, it stuck with me to the point that i had to come here and discuss it for what seems to be close to 2000 words. This project is something truly special, not only in terms of a fan game, but as a piece of media in general. It managed to make me feel that sense of magic I felt two years ago when i first played Undertale. And i can’t think of a higher praise than saying that.

The sprite work was amazing. The battles were fun and just the right amount of challenging… except Axis… fuck Axis. The music was a genuine banger to the point where i even liked some of the songs better than some of Toby’s work (i’m looking at you, the person who composed A Mother’s Love, that Hopes and Dreams drop ruined me emotionally for the rest of the run and i hold you and the writing team responsible for that).

And the story, gosh the story was just a real treat.

The mod in general is a bit slow to start, i’ll be honest, i did enjoy the tease at the beginning with Toriel and i think it was genius to cut us off from her entirely at that point. To me, a Undertale mod doing the ruins is like a Batman movie watching Bruce’s parents get gunned down. So, getting something refreshing here was a great foot forward.  Actually, I think that the fact that this mod does not use the OG cast as a crutch is an all-around strong point that i really appreciate and helps set it aside as its own independent thing, different from Undertale. Even though I did find myself craving at least a cameo at times.

On my first day of playing, i witnessed everything that the ruins and Snowdin had to offer. i enjoyed Dalv and Martlet immensely. As I went into the start of the Wild East, I was having a lot of fun. Yet, something felt off, something wasn’t quite sparking the magic i felt with Undertale. So, I left off my first session in the Oasis, having beaten the third boss. All in all, an enjoyable time but not quite clicking.

i couldn’t describe why the game felt off up to this point. Until i watched a friend stream xeyre own first run of the game.

Xey said something during it which made me realize what the issue with these first three areas was. They felt safe, they felt fangamey. These were fun experiences with great atmosphere and enemies but Dlav and Martlet (up to that point) were not characters who grabbed me and made me feel as invested in them as say Toriel, Sans, Papyrus, and Undyne (all characters we would’ve met at a similar point in OG Undertale). Sure, they were nice, and were immensely fun, but i didn’t feel that drive to get to know them better and care about their greater story. These were not the characters of ask blogs and video essays.

At this point, i went to bed, content to get back to it tomorrow but still very much feeling like “this is a fangame.”

Then i woke up…

And let me telling you about Starlo and the town on the edge of the Wild East.

This is where Undertale Yellow grabbed me, this is where the story became something special. This wonderful cast of six unique characters who left me wanting to consume every piece of dialog they had available. These six characters managed to crackle to life that little fanfiction voice in the back of my brain. It was these characters that planted the seed of this sprawling text i am currently writing.

Starlo, himself, is a wonderful character, very fun, very well written, just a treat to experience and spend time with. His missions were comedic gold to a degree where I was cackling in VC because of how good they were. And the fights, oh jeez, the two fights in that area are where the mod really showed off what it could do when it came to combining fun gameplay, great music, and just top tier sprite work that helped give these characters so much substance and life.

And it was also in this section where i started to get invested in the characters. This is where the fangame vibes withered away and gave birth to that same experience i had playing Undertale for that very first time.

It was hinted at with Starlo, a monster putting on a façade to hide from the cold reality of being a member of a broken species living in an equally broken land. His reasoning is so tragic, yet through the tragedy, he is just trying to distract people and bring them whatever joy he can manage. His methods are faulty but his goal is good.

And Ceroba is just amazing, as well, hinting at something darker in the narrative, weaving her story into OG Undertale by experiencing loss to the same experiments that would haunt Alphys. She is something familiar, a mother in pain like Toriel, but also someone who didn’t let that pain keep her in hiding. She uses that pain to try and help this world. And it plays on me so well, making me genuinely ache as my mind idly wonders which amalgamation in the lab was once this monster’s little girl. I wanted to know her story and experience it.

Then the game was all high points from here.

The adventure in the Steamworks where we see the remains of a shattered legacy and the pain that Ceroba goes through when she realizes that her husband was never respected in life. It resonates as we learn how much he just wanted to help Monsterkind and his legacy was just thrown away and left to rot. It made me hate Asgore.

And then comes the plot twist, the moment the shoe drop, as we approach Hotlands and Starlo confronts us. He knows Ceroba’s secret and is there to keep us safe. I had never been so invested in finding out what any of this meant, craving to know what could possibly bring these two into conflict with one another after being so close just two sections prior.

And that’s when we go to Ceroba’s home. That’s where we experience the empty abode that used to house a family. It’s where we learn how this tormented world of captivity that broke them, one by one, killing father, daughter, and yes, even the mother. It’s where we learn about Chujin, a figure of mythos, this mod’s Asgore in a way. A man who knew that escaping the Underground wasn’t the end goal unless Monsterkind could assert itself and prove that it had a right to exist upon the surface. This moment was so compelling, asking questions that fans have had for years and answering them in a way that felt downright satisfying.

And it put a fire in my breast going forward. i feel bad for the individuals who wrote dialog for optional areas after this reveal because i was a woman on a mission at this point. There was no endearing encounter, no fun moment that would distract me from finally finishing this with Ceroba.

And as we reach New Home and face the enemy, a mother who has lost everything, with our friends by our side, that’s when we play the best boss fight, I’ve had the privilege of enjoying in a very long time. It was the right amount of difficult with perfect music, amazing phases and forms, and a wonderful use of the yellow soul to its full capacity. It was long and slogged out, fought tooth and fucking nail, all while the music perfectly weaves together Ceroba’s struggle with the adventure we’ve been on and also a little nostalgia just to remind you what’s at stake. i have slept and i still remember her piano bits combined with those little western twangs, bringing together two childhood friends before dropping Hopes and Dreams just to show you how epic it is. It is… HOLY SHIT… it is something.

And with every phase we see a little more of what this monster lost. We watch her husband wither away, we see her risk her daughter and fail, and we see every last thing this obsession has cost her. And we know that this is a family broken by a collective scar left upon a whole species. We know that humanity is at fault, subjecting a whole race to torment for something that’s generations old. This family is just one of many who our species has wronged, just one trauma on a whole ledger.

And as we finally dispatch her and feel victorious, the reality of the situation slowly settles in.

This is a prologue… we know how this ends.

Asgore has five souls right now. Yet, by the events of Undertale, he has six.

i knew on a logical level that this would happen but the mod still managed to destroy me with the reality. As our friends try and figure out a way to keep us safe, we, the Spirit of Justice, a child with a pure heart, know that we can’t let this slide. We saw what humanities punishment has done to this species and we know that we can help them.

So, Clover sacrifices their Soul. And its at this moment that i started bawling like a child, watching their friends bargain with them, then plead, then seeing them slowly come to terms with it. And the game slowly ends from there, watching our hero make this sacrifice and then send away their friends so they don’t have to see them die. It’s just us, alone, knowing that we did the right thing and it cost us everything. It’s beautiful and tragic, the perfect ending that still chokes me up thinking about it.

And it pays off as the credits role and we get an epilogue that shows all the monsters we’ve touched and made their lives better.

It was special.

This was the special that i felt after Undertale.

And like Undertale, i will never touch it again (unless i speedrun it). The story was completed and the sacrifice was beautiful. It would be wrong of me to erase the deeds that i’ve done to better these lives. i don’t want to erase their happy ending just to tinker around and extract every ounce of life from this game.

So uh, yeah, sorry to the people who worked on geno-run. i’m sure you did a great job but i can’t bring myself to hurt these characters.

All-in-all, sitting there in a VC, bawling at 3:30 in the morning, i knew this was unique and I knew that i wanted to share my thoughts with the fandom and maybe even the developers if they get around to reading this.

Dear devs, if you read this, you created something out of this world, thank you.

Sincerely, thank you.

Would I recommend this mod?

Let me tell you what I said after the credits rolled.

“Fuck this mod.”

Err… text kind of loses the translation of those words being spoken through the warble of a tear-stricken voice that was fresh from sobbing for ten minutes straight.

So, uh…

Yeah, it was alright!

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hi love can I request some angst with a happy ending. singer y/n and matty being official but y/n is having some trouble with her reputation lately (inspired by the whole taylor & kanye beef) so she tries to breakup with matty in order to protect him and not drag him anymore (saying he deserves better or something like that) so she booked a flight and goes back to her hometown but then our sweet lover boy matty chases her then one day he knocks at her door and they talk it out ;* I really need some angsty happy ending rn thank you my love!

A/N: Okay I loved this is I decided to turn it into a proper oneshot, thank you anon!! Fair warning: I'm not fully sure what happened between Taylor and Kanye but I know he accused her of not deserving an award so that's what I went with in this fic! Sorry if that wasn't what you meant!!

Warnings: angst, swearing, very sad shenanigans ensue

Reputation

"Y/n Y/l/n is currently in some hot water with pop music fans as she is accused of robbing other artists of Artist of the Year award. Y/l/n may have won multiple awards this year, but did she really deserve them?"

"Music sensation Y/n Y/l/n is a talented artist, fans agree, but it looks like her time in the industry could be limited as other artists express their upset at her recent win - could her rockstar boyfriend Matty Healy be the real reason for her success?"

"Brit award and Grammy holder Y/m Y/l/n slammed for her recent success this award season as she is called 'undeserving and untalented'. Her boyfriend, frontman of the global phenomenon The 1975, is yet to speak on the issue after being accused of helping her to acquire her fanbase."

You shut your laptop with a slam before you could delve any deeper into the comments being made about you online. You had been ecstatic with your recent win, and as Matty had also won an award the same night, you two felt invincible. That was until you began to be talked about negatively following your win, and you started to doubt how deserving of it you were. You started to believe what was being said about you online. That out of the hugely talented list of nominees, you were the least exciting. You started asking yourself if the only reason your fanbase had expanded was because of Matty. You wondered if you would lose fans in the event of a breakup.

It only took a few hours for the tabloids to bring Matty into the situation. They accused him of writing all your songs for you. Of course you had collaborated with him in the past, but you had credited him as a co-writer. The rest of your discography was your own. Matty was accused of begging Jamie to sign you at Dirty Hit, but of course you had been signed due to your musical talent and songwriting ability. In fact, you hadn't even known Matty before you were publicly represented by the label. Nevertheless, you could see you boyfriend beginning to be dragged down by the accusations made against you. You knew you couldn't let it happen. He had built such a successful music career for himself, and you couldn't be the reason he lost respect in the industry. It was going to hurt, but you knew what you had to do.

-----------------------

You had booked yourself on the first flight back to your hometown and told your parents you were coming to stay. Your stuff was packed up in boxes, ready to be transported back home, while your essentials were in a suitcase by the door. You sat anxiously on the sofa waiting for Matty to arrive home from the studio. When he did, you could hear him ranting from the second he opened the door. "Babe! Have you seen what those fuckers at The Sun have said now? This is bullshit!" He didn't get much further before spotting your suitcase. "What's this? What are you -" "Matty, I'm sorry?" "What are you talking about? Tell me what's going on!" "I never wanted you to be dragged into this. My reputation is ruined. It's only a matter of time before the label drops me." "That's bullshit babe, and you know it! Jamie loves you like family, he's gonna get you through this." Matty took your hand. "Please don't listen to what the press is saying, babe. You deserved those awards. And you have never lied about writing your own music. Now will you please tell me what's happening?" "I'm leaving, Matty. I'm going home." "That's ok baby, you just need a break. How long will you be gone?" You just shook your head at him, a tear falling down you face. You couldn't say it. "Darling, please, what are you saying?" "We need to break up, Matty. I need to protect you from this. You deserve so much more than me. More than the person who's ruining your image over a stupid fucking award."

Matty's face fell immediately. His eyes filled with tears and you could barely look at him knowing the hurt you had caused him. "I'm sorry," you whispered, and turned to leave. "No. Absolutely not." Matty caught you hand and pulled you to him. "You can't leave, not after everything we've been through. I love you. I need you." "I love you too, Matty. More than anything in the world. That's why I have to go. You love your music, and I can't let you be dragged down by my reputation anymore. We can't be together. We just can't."

--------------------------

As you lay in bed in your rented apartment near your hometown, your mind wandered to the look on Matty's face when you walked out on him three months earlier. He cried when you left, you could hear him sobbing behind you as you walked out the door. You had seen him cry before, but never like that, and it scared you. Maybe that's why you were so quick to leave. You didn't want to see the damage you had caused.

The comments online and the seemingly never-ending news articles had died down, of course. Not even a week later, some actor you had never heard of said something problematic and you were left alone. As for the public, they began to see sense and you had received hundred of comments on your social media saying things along the lines of "We support you Y/n!" or "We all know you deserve every bit of success." It was encouraging, but you felt you weren't ready to return to the studio yet. More than that, you weren't ready to return to the label and potentially face Matty.

It must have been one in the morning when you were awakened by frantic knocking on your door. Startled, you jumped out of bed and ran to the door. You opened the door a crack, and your breath caught in your throat when you saw who it was. Matty Healy, with his curls tousled by the wind, tearstains on his cheeks and a tiredness in his eyes you had only seen when he returned from a tour. He must have gotten off a flight and come straight to you. You swung the door open and he tensed up when he saw the worried look on your face.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Is everyone ok?" "Everyone's fine, darling. Except me." "What? What happened?" "You. You happened. I can't be alone anymore love, I just can't. I need you back home with me." "Matty, you know I can't do that." "And why the hell not? All that stuff with the press cleared up after you left me." "And what if it starts back up again? I can't let you be dragged down by me again." Matty took your face in his hands. "Listen to me darling, please. I simply can't be away from you any longer. I have never loved someone like I love you. I don't care what those fuckers on the internet have to say about me. I would have my reputation ruined a thousand times for you. I would do anything for you, I would die for you. You know that. So why won't you come home and be with me?"

You couldn't stay away from him for a moment longer either. You threw yourself into his arms and started to cry into his chest, his fingers running through your hair to soothe you. He was whispering between pressing kisses to your head. You couldn't hear what he was saying, but it was comforting. Matty picked you up with ease and you threw your legs around his waist, still crying. He shut the door behind him and walked you over to the sofa, where he stayed with you, holding you tightly in his arms until you had calmed down. "There, angel. You're ok." "I'm sorry, Matty. I didn't know I had upset you so much." "Of course you did, babe. How could you ever think I would be better off without you?" You almost started crying again, overcome with guilt, but Matty took you in his arms again. "Don't cry, sweet girl. It's ok, I'm not upset anymore. But I don't give a shit about what's being said about me online, as long as I have my best girl with me." He wiped away your tears and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips, the first in months. "I wanted to go back, I really did," you assured Matty. "But I thought you would have forgotten about me and moved on. And I definitely thought you stopped loving me." Matty's heart sank at your small voice and he mentally kicked himself for not calling you more times after you moved away. He kissed your cheek reassuringly and brushed your hair behind your ear, before pulling your closer and speaking in a low tone into your ear.

"I could never forget you, angel. And I have never stopped loving you."

Old-Time Tradition: Folk Musicals

Grease (1978)

This film follows Danny (John Travolta) and Sandy (Olivia Newton-John), two teenagers from different worlds. After a summer fling,  they thought they would never see each other ever again, but unexpectedly reunite in the same school. Sandy, initially a wholesome stereotypical "IT girl”, tries to fit in with Danny's greaser crew, the T-Birds, and their sassy counterparts, the Pink Ladies. 

Identity in Grease: A Song and Dance

The musical numbers in Grease are very energetic and catchy, but they also play a big role in exploring how the characters navigate their identities. Many songs like "Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee"—(I don’t drink, or swear. I don’t wrap my hair. I get ill from one cigarette. Keep your filthy paws from my silky dress)—and "Beauty School Dropout" showcase characters trying on different identities. Sandy tries to be the ideal 50s girl, while Rizzo rejects society's expectations. They all use songs to experiment and find their place in the T-Birds/Pink Ladies dynamic. On the other hand, songs like "Greased Lightnin'" and "We Go Together" solidify that bond that we can perceive between the T-Birds and Pink Ladies. Moreover, love, frustration, and teenage angst all find voice through the music. "Hopelessly Devoted to You", probably the most emotional song on the movie’s tracklist, lays bare Sandy's feelings, portraying her as the basic, easily enamored girl.

The film reinforces stereotypical gendered behaviors. For example, in “Summer Nights”, the girls' lyrics ("Tell me more, was it love at first sight?") center around romance and emotions, suggesting a more emotional and sensitive view of love. Whereas the boys' lyrics ("Tell me more, did she put up a fight?")  imply a focus on sexual conquest, portraying a more aggressive and sexualized view of romantic relationships. The song reinforces the idea that men and women approach love differently based on these stereotypes and it could be argued that it promotes non-consensual intimacy.

The characters in Grease don't just burst into song for no reason, their world revolves around music. The energy and choreography allow characters to process their emotions in a big way. In fact, the film doesn't shy away from showing the characters enjoying music and dance for pure fun. 

Yet, the world of Grease isn't exactly diverse

It is noticeable that the film avoids touching on any serious social issues of the 1950s, like racial tensions or economic disparity. This creates a sanitized version of the past and ignores the complexities of real life. Moreover, it pushes away the idea of 'Black Joy' as being something achievable even more. The music itself doesn't delve into racial themes, and there is quite literally, only one visible Black character in the movie—Frederick "Dennis" Greene as part of the singing group Johnny Casino and the Gamblers, reinforcing the idea that "Black musicality—the all-blacks-got-rhythm syndrome—of White cinema." (Dyer 98.)

The Ordinary → Utopia

Several elements align with the classic trope of white musicals seeking to transform the ordinary into a utopia; everyone is happy and music comes out of nowhere. Sandy's journey from a demure, "good girl" to a leather-clad greaser epitomizes this trope. Her initial wholesomeness represents the ordinary, while her adoption of the greaser look signifies a transformation into something cooler and more exciting. This aligns with the utopian ideal of escapism. On the other hand, Rydell High itself is portrayed as a somewhat utopian space. Sure, there are cliques and social pressures, but overall, it's a place where teenagers can have carefree fun. Finally, the film's resolution reinforces the utopian ideal. Danny and Sandy reconcile, the T-Birds and Pink Ladies maintain their cool-kid status, and everyone seems to get their happily-ever-after. This all-pink ending avoids the complexities of real life, where there are serious conflicts and consequences for teenage rebellion, and presents a more utopian world.

Circular time?

Black musicals often depict a cyclical view of time, where characters return to their "real life." As Dyer states, "white joy is in a space freed from labor; Black fun dips into the thing to have a good time while working." We can clearly notice this in the film. The ending suggests the T-Birds and Pink Ladies will stay on this high school path, but there's no real sense of daily life hardship.

TOMORROW X TOGETHER Unpack the “Story of Growth” in New Album The Name Chapter: FREEFALL

"I thought about how far we’ve come," says Beomgyu

In the music video for TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s new single, “Chasing That Feeling,” Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai quite literally crash-land back on earth. It’s an apt visual for the focus track off their latest project, The Name Chapter: FREEFALL, which brings the boys back to reality after their spring EPfeatured a dreamy stint in a Neverland setting.

While TXT’s discography has explored young love and other narratives, so much of the group’s music hovers around themes of growing up in an increasingly complicated world. “We want to talk about the experiences that are unique to our generation,” Hueningkai tells Consequence. The Name Chapter: FREEFALL is the group’s first LP in over two years, and their longest collection of new music since 2021’s The Chaos Chapter: FREEZE. There are a few new angles to this project — a harder commitment to rock along with playing around with Jersey club hallmarks — but it’s a TOMORROW X TOGETHER project through and through.

“Happily Ever After,” like 2021’s “Ice Cream,”sounds bright but contains more serious themes in the lyrics . There’s also a song dedicated specifically from the members to their beloved fan base, MOA, titled “Blue Spring.” With more lyrical contributions than ever before from the members themselves, it’s exciting seeing TXT continue to develop as artists and creatives, and Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai are back to reflect on the process. Read the full interview with the members below, and catch the music video for “Chasing That Feeling.”

I feel like this album goes bigger with ideas you’ve played with before. Where “Good Boy Gone Bad” and “0X1 LOVESONG” played with rock sounds, “Growing Pain” dives all the way in. Meanwhile, “Chasing That Feeling” is straight-up 80s synth. What are some words you guys would use to describe this project as a whole?

Soobin: I’d call it a story of growth. It looks at the growing pains of our generation and picks up where we left off in our previous album. The main backdrop for the previous album was this beautiful but irresponsible Neverland. This album is about leaving this Neverland and facing the real world. Growing pains are inevitable in this process, and we wanted to delve into that in this album.

Yeonjun: I’d say a soundtrack for today’s youth. We wanted to talk about the courage and determination of today’s youth to face reality head-on.

I feel like you guys have accomplished so many goals we’ve talked about over the past few years. In 2022, you told me you hoped to perform at bigger venues, and to do well at your first appearance at Lollapalooza. You’ve since crushed a stadium tour, dome concerts in Japan, and headlined Lolla! How does it feel to see those things happen in real time? 

Taehyun: As you said, this year has been a really big year for us with our Lollapalooza headliner set, first U.S. stadium tour, and most recently the “Back For More” (with Anitta) performance at the MTV VMAs. It’s an incredible honor to perform at such iconic venues and events and be able to share our music to connect with a wider audience. I’m very proud of the hard work we put in, but we won’t be able to do this without our fans’ support, so we are truly thankful for them.

To that point, now that you’ve accomplished a few really huge goals, what do some immediate next steps look like for you? What are some smaller goals you have for finishing out 2023?

Hueningkai: The new album is another opportunity for us to connect with MOA, so I just want to enjoy myself and cherish each moment. As it’s our first studio album in a little over two years, we really gave our all into it. I hope that the album resonates with as many people as possible around the world.

I’m obsessed with “Deep Down,” it’s easily my favorite on the album. The synth-pop direction is so fun. Do any of you have special memories from being in the studio, for this song or others on the album?

Beomgyu: It was a lot of fun recording “Deep Down.” “Deep Down” talks about how a “horn,” something that you try to keep hidden, can actually be a crown, or a source of hope that represents who you are. There’s a clear connection to our debut single, “CROWN,” so while recording, I was reminded by those times as a lot of different emotions came to mind. I thought about how far we’ve come, both as individuals as well as artists.

Which song on the record do you feel is the most quintessentially TOMORROW X TOGETHER?

Hueningkai: I’d say “Happily Ever After.” It’s a song about coming to terms with the fact that there are no fairytale endings in reality. And with that realization, instead of giving into despair, you can decide to write your own story. That’s something that we as a group have tried to do with our music over the years. We want to talk about the experiences that are unique to our generation. I’d say that it’s a song that really speaks to our DNA as a group.

I know how much you guys love the song “Blue Spring,” and it’s so different from some of your other songs dedicated to MOA, like “Sweat” or “MOA Diary.” Why do you think the song fit with the concept of The Name Chapter: FREEFALL?

Beomgyu: This album looks at the pain and challenges of reality, but within this reality, there are still magical moments that we share with one another. On “Blue Spring,” we compare our fans to spring that brightens up a blue world. Our fans have always been part of our magical moments that fuel our spirit, so it felt right that this song was included in the album.

I love seeing you all becoming more and more involved with lyric writing with each project. Do any of you have something you’ve learned about your songwriting process during the making of this album that you’d like to share?

Taehyun: I think we have become better at putting our honest thoughts and emotions into our lyrics. This comes as a result of many hours of writing that we put in over the years, but I think it also has to do with the fact that we have become more confident in the kind of message and music we want to share with the world. I hope many people can feel that when they listen to our music.

All five of you wrote for the lyrics in “Blue Spring.” Do you have any dreams of someday sharing an entirely self-written project?

Yeonjun: That’d be amazing. Manifesting that for the future! I do love working with other songwriters. I’m always learning a lot from them. We also feed off each other’s creativity, so it’s an experience I very much enjoy.

Is there anything else we haven’t touched on that you’d like to share?

Soobin: This album talks about reality as it is, which is also reflected in our visuals for the album. We shot the music video for our lead single at Universal Studios, but it looks as if we land somewhere in a real city like New York or London. We wanted to show a world seen without a filter, so I think that’s another element that our fans can enjoy along with the music.

'From the first shot of Andrew Haigh’s unconventional ghost story All of Us Strangers, we are introduced to the world of the uncanny. Sunlight streams through the windows of a glass building, molten and syrupy against Andrew Scott’s skin. There’s something surreal and insubstantial about his reflection in the window. Then, we see the building itself, a new high-rise in Stratford, inhabited by only two men: Adam and Harry.

Adam (Scott) is a screenwriter who lives alone, subsisting on Chinese takeaways. He seems lost in his own world as he tries to write about his parents who died in a car accident when he was a child. When he decides to jog his memory by returning to his childhood home, he returns to find his parents apparently alive – but exactly as they were 30 years ago (by now, Adam is older than them). Loosely based on the novel Strangers by Taichi Yamada, Haigh re-appropriates the ghost story with a naturalistic bend, which allows Adam to re-engage with his grief and its entanglement with his queer identity.

The film also delves into Adam’s burgeoning love with his young, enigmatic neighbour, Harry (Paul Mescal). “It was such a joy, playing Harry, playing someone different to any role I’ve had. He’s a little bit frightening – and drunk, sexy and forward,” Mescal tells Dazed. The film unpicks the unsettled state of modern queerness – of feeling estranged by a heteronormative society even during a time when queerness is supposedly celebrated. Haigh takes this mutable sense of temporality and creates a sense of suspended, circular time as the film vacillates between two timelines, one focused on the past with his parents and another in the future with Harry.

At its core, All of Us Strangers is an exploration of queer love and intimacy across time. As Haigh says: “Love is the centre of Adam’s story. With both his parents and with Harry, love is about feeling seen.” Below, we speak to Paul Mescal, Andrew Scott, Andrew Haigh about the film.

In the film, the use of mementos, from photographs to music, are really evocative. Why did you want to invoke the past through these symbols?

Andrew Haigh: We shot the film in my own childhood home and I wanted to feel like I was putting myself into it. It’s my most personal film. I wanted to return to there because it’s the space I imagined while writing the script. I hadn’t been there for 45 years, yet I could remember so viscerally the smell of the house, the feel. The soundtrack is composed of songs I loved as a kid. I’ve always loved The Pet Shop Boys. It was a kind of therapy – of staging my memories to work through them. Memories exist like time travel in our mind constantly, it all feels as real.

The whole film is about feeling. We want you to feel the emotion of it, the texture, the sensuality of it, in a phenomenological way. Music just draws you back to the past in such a visceral way. The records have such an analogue texture to it, of real things and textures. That’s why we shot it on film, to keep that sense of materiality.

Andrew, what drew you to Adam’s character and the story?

Andrew Scott: It was the central idea of returning to the past. I find the character to be someone I really recognised and a character who goes on such a strong journey. He’s in every scene except two shots. What’s so interesting is that the film’s ghostly concept seems like such an audacious idea, but what’s so wonderful is that people walking outside in Soho right now are having conversations with people in their head who are not alive. Our imagination is so alive, and time is not a linear logic. To bring that memory to life is not as absurd as you might think.

Paul, what drew you to Harry’s character and the film? Aftersun and All of Us Strangers both tackle the ghosts of the past, memory and grief. What draws you to this complex subject and different ways of embodying it?

Paul Mescal: I think Harry is a beautiful character. He has an immense capacity to love somebody even though he’s dealing with extraordinary pain. We don’t really see a huge amount of it in the film, but there are instances where he talks about his incredibly difficult relationship with his family.

I think I am more interested in the past than I am in the future in general. I think the past is what informs our behaviour. There’s something about the past that feels unattainable. But what’s amazing about this film – its magic – is that it allows you to interrogate the past and to revisit conversations. That’s what’s so tragic about the past: once it’s gone, it’s locked there.

For every film, I usually create a playlist tailored to the character, to try and understand them. For Harry, I was listening a lot to ‘Adios, Florida’ by A Winged Victory For the Sullen.

Can you tell us a bit about the cinematography choices? The film features a lot of superimpositions and reflections in windows and mirrors. The first time we see Harry and Adam, they are both seen through the glassy reflection of a window or mirror.

Andrew Haigh: I knew that the film, even while naturalistic, couldn’t feel entirely real. It had to feel like it was hovering somewhere in a liminal space. In the opening shot, you almost ask, ‘Is it a reflection? Is it you?’ We aren’t quite sure what we are seeing.

I’m obsessed with reflections. On a philosophical basis, as a queer person, you spend a lot of the time reflecting and performing something which actually isn’t you. Especially when you’re in the closet. You spend the whole time reflecting an image to the world. That can be very disconcerting for you on a psychological basis. Reflection is the perfect way to express that. In this film, the reflection is often even different from who you are. It changes through the film when we play with those reflections and I find that really interesting. Towards the last scene, they get closer, and expose their real selves. I returned to some Francis Bacon paintings as references just to articulate what felt right aesthetically.

What was it like working with Andrew Haigh in his own home? Did you bring any of your personal mementos to set?

Andrew Scott: It was so generous of Andrew to let us film in his home. It throws down the gauntlet in terms of authenticity. I just felt I had to bring my own biography even if it’s not my own geography. One of the great pleasures was to speak to Andrew about how we grew up and the pain that we’ve been through – the 80s and 90s was a difficult time to be queer. We’ve come so far in relation to our experience in the world and I felt so seen by the script and by Andrew’s other films in the past. I brought my own sense of truth and my own experience.

I wore this golden chain that I’m wearing now too, and it catches the light in the film in a lovely way.

It’s remarkable the way you manage to transform into a child again in the house through your body language and this vulnerability we see in your face.

Andrew Scott: When Adam says, ‘It doesn’t take much to make you feel the way you felt back there,’ I think it resonates. You know, I live a very happy life now and I’m comfortable with who I am, but there was a time when that wasn’t the case. The pain of that time, as much as you try and suppress it, it’s very potent. To be able to do that again, that feeling is not as far away as I might have imagined. It was also a catharsis to do it again.

The coming-out conversations with Adam’s family are particularly poignant, capturing the sense of the atemporality of modern queerness. What was the process of writing them?

Andrew Haigh: It was quite painful to write those coming-out sequences. It wasn’t just coming out to his mother, which has its own complications, pain and terror. But it’s a reminder of how he used to feel back then. So, all of those things that the mother said, all those things that happened to him at school that the dad mentioned, those were things that happened to Adam – look, they happened to me, to a lot of gay kids back then. It’s a reminder of how I used to feel. The film is about the pain we try to keep hidden away, the grief and the trauma of being gay at that time. For Adam, it’s about that coming to the surface again, remembering how he used to feel. For me as a director and writer, and for Andrew as an actor, it brought all of those feelings back again. I got eczema again, which I haven’t had since I was a kid. My body literally reacted to how I used to feel when I was younger.

Harry is often a protector to Adam – taking care of him when he’s ill, taking him home from the club. Yet, we see brief moments of his immense pain throughout the film. Paul, how did you represent this pain bubbling under the surface?

Paul Mescal: That’s the tragedy of the film. Harry is laughing at his own pain a lot of the time. Because that’s how humans are. It’s so difficult to talk about ourselves so directly – when we try to talk about things that cause us pain, I think we generally try and laugh through because it deflects from the rawness because if you really go into those feelings, sometimes you can’t really get out of it. And I think Harry’s a master chameleon. I wanted to play Harry as somebody who’s trying to hide his pain the whole way up until the ending. I wanted him to not show his pain, and I think I failed in the moment when I said, ‘I know what it’s like to stop caring about yourself’, because I was looking at Andrew and he was upsetting me so much.

The pain reveals this idea that, despite Harry being more forward and more sexually liberated, he still feels this pain and this shame because of his family. Essentially, if families aren’t caring and thoughtful, they can breed shame, which is ultimately quite damaging and you see the damage that it does to Adam. Adam has the privilege of being able to revisit those conversations with his parents. Harry doesn’t get that opportunity with his own and they’re still living, so I think it’s a wonderful illustration of how shame is bred in society, particularly in a home environment.

The love story features two different generations of queer men. How did you decide to represent their difference but also their shared sense of dislocation?

Andrew Haigh: There is a big difference between the different generations of queer people. They’ve grown up without the shadow of AIDS. We didn’t know how our lives would progress into the future then. Whereas, there’s now gay marriage and so much progression. Yet, to be queer in the world now still means you’re different and that’s still difficult. Some young people who seem great from the outside are still dealing with their trauma of being at school. Yes, it’s better, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy. I think we can often fight against the generation that came before, but it’s important that we see ourselves in this lineage together.

Paul, how did you approach building this tender sense of intimacy and chemistry with Andrew?

Paul Mescal: I loved Andrew as an actor before we knew each other properly. And when I started to know him more, we just really liked each other. I find that it’s actually easier to play sex scenes than it is to play the tenderness after sex. Because you’re both inhabiting a physical language – that distinct feeling of lying on a bed and talking to somebody you love after having sex. The tenderness required in your quality of touch is something you can’t really block and write. It’s not like you’re going to touch his hand like this at this particular moment. It just doesn’t work like that. So I think we do have this innate thing called chemistry, which I find impossible to describe.

The way you guys look at each other in the film is so sexy. I couldn’t look away.

Paul Mescal: That’s the bit that scared me. When I saw it for the first time in the audience, I asked Andrew if he remembered me doing that. The most illicit moment is not actually the sex, but my eyes looking up to Andrew when I’m about to go down on him.

How do we tackle queer loneliness for future generations?

Andrew Scott: I think the problem of queer loneliness comes from a basic thing: that people assume everybody unless told otherwise is straight. Everyone from a benign aunt to a taxi driver asks if you have a boyfriend if you’re a girl, and a girlfriend if you’re a boy. That’s the assumption. That’s why I love the embracing of the word ‘queer’ – as some people exist within a scale, defying this binary of choice. It’s very difficult to define – do we write down and laminate all our sexual fantasies to define us?

The way we talk about sexuality has to ultimately change. It’s the accidental cruelty of the benign aunt or the parent. That’s what makes people feel lonely. And, it’s not something you can defend as a child, because you don’t know or can’t fully articulate it yet. It’s this quiet and subtle feeling of loneliness that permeates these lives. I remember Geri Halliwell years and years ago with this little camp boy on TV, a Spice Girls fan – and the TV presenter asks ‘are you going to have a girlfriend when you grow up?’ and Geri Halliwell adds in, ‘or boyfriend’. That’s a wonderful thing, it’s a tiny thing but it offers the option. The reframing of how we talk to our youth.

All of Us Strangers is available in UK cinemas from January 26.'

Why, In my opinion, "Spiracle" is the ideal song for Sebaciel.

In case you are unfamiliar with the song I am referring to, it is titled "Spiracle" and performed by Flowerface.

I've got way too much time on my hands and I'm seriously lacking sleep, so I thought I'd write this thread.

But before we dive in, let me recommend Flowerface.

Besides having this amazing song, they've quickly become one of my favorite artists and have much more to offer than this.

So, without any more delay, let's get started!

WARNING!

I'm just a teenager looking to have a good time, so please don't take any of this too seriously.

So, I came across this song while scrolling through Sebaciel playlists, and boom, there it was.

Since the very first time I laid my ears on it, I couldn't get enough of that tune. It's got this spooky, eerie, yet strangely comforting vibe that fits perfectly with Sebaciel aesthetic.

Little did I know, it was just the tip of the iceberg.

Personally, I'm drawn to music primarily because of its lyrics. So, it was only natural for me to do some digging on them. Let me tell you, I was far from disappointed...

The first verse goes:

I want the parts of you you only show

To the corner of your bathroom mirror

I want the parts of your hand-grenade heart

That beat slowly with anger and fear

Yall can already guess where Im going with this.

This is how Sebastian sees Ciel from his point of view,how he is expressing a desire for intimacy and emotional connection with him.He is asking to see the hidden, vulnerable parts of Ciels emotions and thoughts. The lines about the mirror and heart represent a desire to create a safe space for him, to let his defenses down and open themself up.Personally, I have observed Sebastian's deeper affection towards Ciel compared to Ciel's feelings towards Sebastian.Ironic.

I want the parts of you you only show

To the birds outside your bedroom window

I want the teeth that you lost as a child

That you hide in a box under your pillow

These lyrics express a similar desire for closeness and intimacy, but with a focus on the Ciels younger self. There may be a reference to the idea of lost innocence, and a wish to go back in time to find those parts of the Ciels childhood that he feels he no longer has. The notion of a box which is hidden under a pillow may represent Ciel's feeling of embarrassment over his experiences, or perhaps his lack of acceptance of the past.

YALL SEE THE VISION RIGHT?

I want your quiet, your screaming and thrashing

The salt on your lips and the hands that God gave you

And I want your violence, your silent sedation

Your moon eyes, your telescope, morbid fixation

NOW THIS IS WHERE IT GETS REAL.

Sebastian is looking for the extremes and complexities of Ciel, wanting access to his intense passions, aggression, and pain. The reference to salt on lips suggest Sebastians hunger and desire for physical intimacy, while the mention of morbid fixation suggests an interest in the dark, twisted, and perhaps taboo aspects of the other Ciels psyche.Not to mention the violence part.

Do I really have to explain further? This verse delves into Sebastian's willingness to assist Ciel in seeking revenge, his patience with Ciel's outbursts, his understanding of Ciel's complexities, and his unwavering love for him despite it all.

And I want your pyro, your born-again virgin

Your hands on my insides, your fingertips crawling

And I want your Jesus, your suicide mission

Your lips on the microphone, soft disposition

The lyrics reveal a longing for intense physical closeness and sexual discovery.Sebastian who is eager to delve into Ciel's raw desires and untamed passion, craving deep and intimate connection. The phrase "born-again virgin" hints at a willingness to embrace his primal urges, showing a sense of surrender. And let's not forget the religious undertones - "I want your Jesus" says it all. Ciel's quest for revenge is his suicide mission.

UGH.

And I want your parties, the shark in your water

The scrapes on your knees and the blood that spills over

And I want your zeroes, your polluted marrow

The sweat on your palms and your surveillance shadow

The shark in the water speaks of a danger or threat, while the scrapes on knees and flowing blood speak of pain and violence. The notion of zeros could represent Ciel's emptiness and absence, while the polluted marrow suggests his idea of a loss of purity and sickness. The line about the sweat on the palms and surveillance shadow ties in with Ciel's paranoia and anxiety. All of these themes show Sebastian's desire to experience the full range of emotions and physical sensations, including those that may be difficult or uncomfortable. I LOVE THEM.

I want your secrets, your clementine fields

The ropes that you climb up, the parts that won't heal

I want your safe word, your passive resistance

The sickness you foster, your favorite addictions

Dude. "I want your safe word" HELLO?

"THE PARTS THAT WONT HEAL" !!!!!

ALSO the mention of the clementine fields can refer to Ciel's of innocence and childhood naivety. The lines about ropes represent Sebastian's desire to explore and heal the Ciel's past wounds.

And I want your nightmares, the ghost in your doorway

Your paralyzed sleep and your *scream*

I want you, butterfly, I want you, sailor

I am your lover and I am your jailor

These are pretty self explenatory,thats why they are my favorite.

Just too much paralles.

This is what I see when they say "I want your nightmares,the ghost in your doorway"

Sebastian's perception of Ciel as a butterfly holds significant meaning, symbolizing hope, transformation, and rebirth. Through his affection for Ciel, Sebastian finds hope and undergoes a profound change, shedding his cold demeanor. The butterflies also embody notions of freedom, earthly beauty, love, and the human soul. Similarly, Ciel can be likened to a "sailor" due to his curiosity, yearning for the unknown, and hidden passion. Sebastian, as both Ciel's lover and literal jailor, perfectly aligns with their contractual bond. Bound to Ciel until the end of his life, Sebastian consumes his soul, sealing Ciel to him until the end of Sebastian's own existence.

Alrighty then! That's the complete song for you. Maybe I'll consider doing "Cornflower blue" next. I really hope you all enjoyed this. And hey, I'd be thrilled if you could drop some comments and share your perspective on this. It would mean the world to me!

Personality Through Quotes Game

Rules: write a quote for each of your OCs fitting the prompt

Thanks @kaylinalexanderbooks, @elsie-writes, and @illarian-rambling for the tags! The first two kind of overlap so I’m going to do them both at once, especially since I have not delved into seven stations music lol

“What’s a song/type of music you can listen to when you need comfort?”/A Quote About Music

Belladonna: “I like classical music. Ballroom dance music always makes me feel at home.”

Cassie: “Belladonna says my screamo metal isn’t music, but fuck her. That.”

Nellie: “I like a variety of music, I’m still trying out all the kinds! Not noble ballroom music, though, that mostly just stresses me out.”

Narcissus: “The insinuation that I would need comforting is ridiculous. I’m perfect. I don’t need music for support. And, anyway, I have superior music taste to all of you. You’ve probably never even heard of the things I listen to.”

Ricinus: “I’m not a musical man generally, but I enjoy violins and string quartets.”

Goldenrod: “Whatever strikes my fancy! As long as it’s well-performed, I’m happy to listen to it.”

Cassiopeia: “I don’t usually listen to music, but if I do, I want it to be the kind that doesn’t distract me. I like video game soundtracks.”

Stellaris: “Sometimes I listen to Old World instrument recordings and they make me sad because they’re kind of grainy and I’ll never get to hear what a real wooden instrument sounded like. They must’ve been so beautiful.”

Rhys: “I don’t know if I’ve ever listened to music. I think Goldenrod might’ve played something once or twice?”

Sel: “Um. Ballroom music? Very nice.”

A Quote About Death

This one’s a bit dark, sorry

Belladonna: “Honestly, it always made me sad when mother and father told me to kill them. They’re just clones, I know, but that didn’t mean they deserved to die.”

Cassie: “Yeah, I’ve killed people. I’m not ashamed of it. I’ll do it again if I have to.”

Nellie: “I’m only just realizing I might not die before I spend a year out of the growth pod. It’s strange, but a good kind of strange.”

Narcissus: “People die, that’s just the way it is, I’m afraid. Yes, puncture wounds to the neck is a strange way for my entire family to have died, what about it? Don’t you have better things to worry about? Like me?”

Ricinus: “If I ever find out who Goldenrod’s been taking to her rooms, I’ll kill him on the spot.”

Goldenrod: “Kill Ricinus’s mistresses? Why, we wouldn’t have any staff left!”

Cassiopeia: “The deaths of the clones are necessary. They’re only clones. I just wish they didn’t take so many resources.”

Stellaris: “Sometimes, I think about the fact I’ll probably die soon. It scares me.”

Rhys: “The cook says they usually kill misprints. I don’t know why I got to live.”

Sel: “It’s shocking how long nobles live. I’d like that.”

This game is a lot of fun! @touloserlautrec @rkmoon @autism-purgatory want to play? Your prompt is, “A quote about weather.”

My Army Journey

I first heard of K-pop back in 2010 when a friend of mine mentioned being a fan of a group called Shinee, a Korean boyband. We weren't that close, so it's not like she tried to show me anything of theirs. At this time, I was also trying to be less judgy about other people's musical tastes, so even though I found (western) boybands to be cringy, I was pretty indifferent to K-pop out of sheer will.

I didn't really hear about K-pop again until about 2016-2017 as someone in uni. Being chronically online, even then you were bound to come across it on Twitter. I'd see male idols everywhere and they all blended together in my brain, EXCEPT for this one guy named Jimin. I'd recognize him as that pretty one. Didn't even know what group he was from, didn't care.

At this time, my dad also got remarried and suddenly I had a younger step-sister who was into K-Pop. I became curious because this was getting a lot more popular than I remembered it being. My stepsister's favorite group was Seventeen, (cue my teasing: "If they're seventeen, why are there thirteen of them?" "Do they each sing like half a line?" "Which one's Jimin?"). When I brought up Jimin, she did finally confirm he's in BTS. She said BTS and EXO are the biggest, but BTS is overtaking. I asked if BTS are the best, and she no, but they're good. I asked her to show me the gayest music video of theirs (I don't even know why) and she showed me Blood, Sweat & Tears (The Queen herself). The video was cool, Jimin was fkn pretty, but I still didn't delve deeper.

It wasn't until mid-2018 that the rabbit hole shit happened (you know the one. You're all here for the same reason). It was completely on a whim. I saw this photo on Twitter:

I recognized Jimin immediately of course. But this photo got me curious because they all had an interesting look to them and I thought it wasn't fair that I'd ever thought "they all look the same" because they didn't and I felt like I owed it to them to at least do them the respect of learning their damn names (famous goddamn last words, anyone?). Jimin, Joon, Hobi, Yoongi, and Tae (eyebrows man, as I called him) were the easiest to learn in that order. I had a little more trouble telling Jungkook and Jin apart at times. I think I had it down by the time the weekend was over though.

One of the first things I watched was their puppy interview. Crack cocaine. Watched a couple more interviews and then moved onto the beginner guides to BTS, funny and serious. Then, the funny compilation videos set to Nintendo Wii theme music. I didn't even get into the music until way later. The very first BTS song I listened to on my own was Lie. What an introduction lmao. The second was Save Me, and that was the song that made me go, "Yeah okay, they're the real deal" (I also tried listening to EXO and some other groups, but... yeah no). After that, it was just further and further down the rabbit hole.

What was important to me was the quality of lyrical content and the ability to sing live. I couldn't have become a fan if they didn't have those two things down. Little did I know, even that is an underestimation of their abilities and their journey. They constantly blew my mind as I learned about all they do. They're capable of extraordinary things.

Being involved as a fan in a powerful fandom of such a massive group has had its ups and downs, but now I just want them all to come back. I miss them together so much. The fandom's in fragments and sanity is cracking without BTS as a unit.

Next post: Shipping and Jikookery

E.

I am. Trying. To remain calm. About that vocaloid take.

First of all, anyone who has the opinion of vocaloid not having diversity in range and technique clearly haven't delved deep enough into the community because there are some voice banks that are so well tuned that they honestly sound like real people with FANTASTIC range. I've heard some fantastic covers of OPERA with vocaloid that have been so beautifully composed.

Also, Vocaloid is NOT to blame for the rise of AI generated covers. That is 100% on techbro jerks who feel they are entitled to anyone's voice. Literally one of the things currently being fought over is the fact that current AI voicebanks made by people are being made WITHOUT CONSENT! All official Vocaloid Banks, as well as most Utau banks, are made WITH CONSENT AND WITH EXPLICIT PLANS FOR THEIR RELEASE. One of my favorite singers is a trans man, and he's arranged for a vocaloid to have his voice as it was pre-transition because while he wants to work on lowering his voice as he transitions, he still likes the sound of his old singing voice and wants that part of his past archived and wants to be able to eventually do duets with himself in any future songs using both versions of his voice. I MEAN COME ON PEOPLE HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT?

Also, imagine someone who wants to sing music they wrote themselves but they physically can't do certain notes due to injuries or heath complications. Or if they happen to be mute due to a myriad of factors and the sound of these synthetic Vocaloids and Utatus allow for those with that specific tone they want to convey to people (seriously, a song by Miku will song very different from the same song being covered by Flower or Pico or Lapis).

AND DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE STORY TELLING ASPECT FOR THINGS LIKE THE EVILIOUS CHRONICLES.

There are fantastic uses for Vocal banks and fantastic ways they are used. And there's absolutely ethical ways to use it (which is honestly what most of current Vocaloid and the Utauloid community is doing). The issue currently is the fact that people are unethically sourcing voices without consent. We need to put together laws and guidelines regarding this. Something that will make EVERYONE happy, from performer to composer to fan.

So sorry to whoever submitted that take but seriously. Dude (gender neutral).

this is everything

The Yunjin collab is my favorite song from Hobi's album (At least from the snippets I listened to). I also liked the Nile Rodgers one, but not as much. I don't know how he chooses the main tracks because he always picks the worst songs, objectively. It's not like they sound bad, at all, but there are songs with more potential. Arson was also not the best song in his last album (it's my least favorite), it was too monotonous and repetitive, lacked instrumentation and melody.

Also, seeing the way the fandom is behaving with his release... I feel sad for him. I guess we'll have to see the streams tomorrow, but the mv views, melon, itunes, it's disappointing. I seriously believe the fandom has completely crumbled, they are not moving unless they have tools (payola), and I feel like the reason why is because they know it will give them a reason to brag on fanwars, not even because of the music. I wonder if it's also the boycott that is affecting the performance, or even the fact that the members are not here to promote.

One thing I'll never believe is that the "boycott" impacts anything, especially not when it's armys having to boycott BTS.

I think it's easier to decide you don't want to stream the music when you weren't even one of the real streamers in the fandom to begin with.

I'm seeing some armys claim that they're boycotting and I find it funny because it's mutuals I had on armytwt who haven't had BTS as their top streamed artist since dynamite era, so what are you boycotting exactly?

How many people are actually boycotting is the question? They're not listening because they don't like the music. Everyone wants me to believe that they only listen to music so far through Google drives? I assure you that these people are still listening to the music they prefer from the artists they like on official streaming platforms.

I don't think the boycott is affecting much. Hobi has never been popular and armys have never been big fans of rapline's music, the only rapline songs I've seen armys eat up as much as pop songs was CNS and daetchwita. The advantage hobi always had was the fact that he's always been the first to delve in when it comes to solo work.

He was the first member to release an official promoted single with a western artist with CNS and he was considered the most successful soloist at the time because he was the first to have a solo hot 100 entry, "more" His pre-release single had good first day numbers simply because he was the first to release a debut album, and then on the street stayed stable for a while because of j.cole.

But like you said, A lot of armys have gone on rest because the group isn't active. So unless you're actually giving them something exciting to work with, they're not going to be tuning in.

"What Was I Made For?" A Look into Barbie's Most Tear-jerking and Overplayed Song

[WARNING: Spoilers for Barbie ahead]

If you've been alive and conscious for the last few months, you've at least heard of Barbie if you aren't one of the people who's been decked out in pink to go see what could, arguably, be called the Movie of the Year.

Even if, by some miracle, you haven't seen Barbie, you've probably heard Billie Eilish's song "What Was I Made For", which plays a pivotal, emotional role in the film. And you've probably drawn your own conclusions about the song, whether you're a fan of Billie's or not.

If you know anything about Billie Eilish, you know that she is no stranger to airplay and TikTok fame, and her most played songs tend to be earworms, played repeatedly until you're ready to pull your hair out. We've all been there.

So, it wasn't shocking when a friend, after seeing Barbie, told me how much he despised the song. I mean, he absolutely loathed it. His argument was clear: "It doesn't fit with the movie! 'Don't tell my boyfriend, it's not what he's made for' totally undermines the entire plot!"

Initially, I nodded in agreement. I like Billie's music, but did it really fit with the movie? Like every weekly hyper fixation, this required a deep dive. I researched how Billie Eilish came up with the song and what it meant to her. To my surprise, I found that it resonated beautifully with the Barbie movie. Let's break down the lyrics before delving into the song's musical significance.

"'What was I made for?' is...it's Barbie's voice...it's your voice...it's anybody's voice" - Billie Eilish Jul. 13, 2023 (Interview with Zane Lowe on Apple Music)

The first verses are quite straightforward in their references. "I used to float, now I just fall down" alludes to Barbie's malfunctioning state, a central plot point in the movie. "Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real" reflects Barbie's mental conflict with realizing that she's just a toy; however, it could also be seen to reflect the other struggle Barbie faces: realizing that the real world is not the feminist, women-driven world she thought it was. Even as "Stereotypical Barbie," she senses that something's amiss. For her, it means that everything the other Barbies worked for has been lost. What's her purpose now? What was she made for?

Now, let's address the contentious line: "I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend, it's not what he's made for." At first glance, it seems like Barbie is concealing her sadness from her boyfriend as if she needs to put on a facade to shield him from distress. While this is partly true, there's a broader context that some miss. Barbie grapples with depression, a daunting experience for someone who has only known happiness. We've witnessed how it affects Barbie, both physically and mentally. In the film, Barbie lacks someone to confide in about her feelings, especially Ken, who's portrayed as having limited critical thinking skills. Barbie refrains from telling Ken because she understands he either wouldn't grasp it or wouldn't cope with the impact of her emotions. Thus, the song authentically mirrors Barbie's inner struggle to communicate her newfound feelings and her desire to protect others from her experience.

Another criticism my friend raised was that the music wasn't complex enough. The melody was too simple and the harmony was boring, etc. Here's where we delve into the technical side of the song, starting with the harmony or chord progression.

Firstly, Billie's song is originally composed in C major, one of the simplest keys due to its absence of flats or sharps, with a 4/4 time signature, making it rhythmically straightforward. The main progression comprises C-Em-F7, with an Am thrown in on the repeat of "What was I made for?" resulting in C-Em-F7-Am-Em-F7 until the beginning of the chorus, where the Dm and G chords are introduced.

So if we look at it as a numerical chord progression, it would look like this:

(verse) I-iii-IV7-vi-iii-IV7

and (chorus) ii-V-I-iii-IV

The most used chords in pop songs of a major key are I, V, vi, and IV.

So, what's the "iii" chord doing there? It's rarely used in recent pop music. The Beatles featured it in "Here, There And Everywhere," and Elton John in "Mona Lisas And Mad Hatters," but it's uncommon. When we think of common progressions, it's typically I-V-vi-IV.

What's intriguing is that the dominant (V) chord is only used 3 times in the entire piece, with the final one being the very last chord as a Dominant 7th chord, which, in itself, is such a cool choice. The "V" chord naturally gravitates back to the "I" chord, and the addition of the 7th intensifies this desire to return to the home chord, especially since the expectation has been set for it to revert to C major, as it did twice before in the song. Thematically speaking, this choice reflects Barbie's longing for answers and a purpose. The last chord leaves you aching for something more.

Up to this point, we have a harmonic progression that may not be groundbreaking, but it creates compelling tension. So, what about the melody?

Billie's sung melody is quite simple when looked at on its own. All of the notes are diatonic (within the key signature), and the most complex thing is the few leaps between notes that are present. However, when the simple melody combines with the harmony, that's where the magic happens.

The interplay between the melody and harmony is where much of the tension lies. Billie often sings notes that are "unstable" or not part of the chord playing in the harmony, even though the individual notes are diatonic to the key of C major. This adds complexity and tension to the song. When we hear these notes that don't quite harmonize with what's playing underneath, our ears long for something less discomforting, like the warmth and safety of the tonic chord. In this case, that mild discomfort is what gives the song its potency and relevance to the movie as a whole.

If you want to take a deeper dive into the music theory behind the song, I highly encourage this website to get you started!

Q&A: Do you have a song from a film that you feel strongly about, whether you love it or hate it? Share your thoughts and why it resonates with you.

F1 TRACKS: Louis Tomlinson takes over the music for this weekend's Italian Grand Prix

British singer-songwriter Louis Tomlinson is the latest artist to take over the F1 Tracks series as he puts together a playlist for this weekend’s Italian Grand Prix. The award-winning musician also sits down with us for an exclusive Q&A where he reveals who his favourite drivers and teams are and his favourite Formula 1 memory, before delving into his new album Faith in the Future, set to be released in November. You can find his playlist here, and you can scroll down further for his Q&A. Q&A with Louis Tomlinson What’s the best thing about F1? The pure speed of the cars and the race to the first corner. Any similarities between the buzz of F1 and the buzz of live music? The adrenaline of going out on stage. But, unlike the drivers, at least I get a break on stage at times. In the car they can’t stop until all the laps are over. Favourite drivers? Max Verstappen and Lando Norris. Favourite teams? Red Bull and McLaren Favourite F1 track? Silverstone for the British GP. If you could pick one of your songs to be the new theme tune for F1, which would it be and why? Kill My Mind, as it’s a high-tempo song that evokes the same energy from me on stage as what happens on track. What are your favourite memories from following Formula 1? Going to Monaco in 2017 and seeing it for real. Which F1 driver do you think would make the best music artist and why? Kimi Raikkonen. I just see the rock star in him. You could go to a gig with three people dead or alive, who would they be and what band/artists would you go and see? Guenther Steiner, Max Verstappen and Kimi Raikkonen to see Avicii at Ushuaia in Ibiza. Tell us about your new music? This new album represents me better as an artist, so I’m really excited about what’s to come. via Formula 1 News https://www.formula1.com

hi cubeguy i sent u an anons a while ago that i dont use tumblr but i periodically check ur blog bcus it specifically rocks & im back. i listened to an album u recommended on here but im curtailed by the character lim to give a review so i typed out a real time extremely long reaction to the songs LOL definitely the logical nextstep. its @ pastebin.com/Ejd8E9VX idk if im allowed to link shit on tumblr?? anyway i hope to get around 2 other musiks u like bcus i lovedd this btw its get to heaven that i listened to THANK U 🎀🙇‍♂️💋💗💗💗

HEY YOU HAVE AN AWESOME WAY OF TALKING ABOUT MUSIC. GRINS SO MUCH. i’m glad you enjoyed gth it’s so so special to me genuinely the album of all time …. my favorite songs off it are s/s/w/d the wheel and blast doors Lways a joy to see someone go crazy about them

^ really fond of this descriptor here also i think it succinctly puts a lot of what i love about ee’s songwriting down into words…. the weird entanglement of love and hate and confusion and clarity it’s a very very special moodset

also YEAH the way you described the vocals…. the early everything everything albums play a lot with like. roughness and scratchiness and the kind of ‘animalistic’ register of the human voice. (honestly everything before raw data feel. this is literally because the singer just decided to learn how to sing in high registers without falsetto for the first time which is like cool but also AUGH i miss that old sound

OK SO the thing about this bit

absolutely YES the thing about get to heaven is that it’s literally just like. a complete album of bangers. going down through their other stuff is gonna be a little more rocky, you might enjoy the like once-per-album weird slow ballads you might not, even though i’m lazy about listening to some of their weaker stuff when i do go through the entire albums i still find a lot of quirks in the instrumentation or lyrics that manage to impress me. i’d recommend delving into either man alive or arc next those are basically on par with gth although a bit more weird and morose? if you’re feeling it id then recommend raw data feel which oscillates more around pop/new wave but still has some really interesting musical constructions, gets extremely electronic and synthy…. a fever dream is like a 50/50 split between really long slow songs which are just Fine and really fast heavy bangers. just go listen to notln, can’t do, desire, good shot, run the numbers and ivory tower LOL. uhhhh reanimator is arguably their weakest album probably the most unremarkable but it’s also like my second favorite right after get to heaven. it’s weird and glowy and flimsier than their other tunes. that enchants me i guess…. they’ve also got an upcoming album that once again seems to be more pop oriented, cold reactor is the best of the singles they’ve released for it yet. what else. there’s like a youtube playlist out there of demo/outtakes/non album stuff that you can find real easy, there’s some really good stuff in there. personal favorites are the come alive diana demo, even the dogs and dna dump

ok so the fucking thing about the “lore” of this album. there technically isn’t any and most of ee’s albums are a per-song thing usually revolving around like. modern social commentary. the genius pages for most of their songs have like. direct songwriting annotations by the band and explain the thought process behind them. however for gth there’s also like a small layer of overarching lore about this one guy called thomas silhouette as a character. he’s not so much the crux of any narrative or presence as much as he’s just like. funny anagram arising from a lyric in fortune 500 that gets alluded to in later albums because he’s loosely representative of a lot of themes that get tackled in ee songs like capitalism and dread and shit like that