#this scene just i can't even explain what it does to my brain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mayasaura · 8 months

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sorry if this has been answered before or if there's a post about this, but I've been seeing a lot of posts labeling harrow as schizophrenic and/or having trouble recognizing reality, including the one you just made about crux as harrow's caretaker and reality-indicator.

I realize that these interpretations come from htn, but I'm curious as why people feel that it's always been a trait of harrow's instead of a side effect of the lobotomy?

I was under the impression that she created the reality problems as an excuse to cover the blocks in her memory, especially since we know that wake/the sleeper didn't possess her until after gtn and most of her confusion happens in the river bubble.

even the "hallucinations" of the body don't really impact her perception of reality, and it's actually alecto's soul not a real hallucination. the only questionable moment I can remember is when she sees cytheria under the bed and ianthe says there's nothing there, but we know ianthe is a duplicitous legend so I read it as ianthe lying to harrow lol

long story short, I was wondering if there was scenes in gtn, ntn, or post-realization htn that indicate harrow has had these reality problems pre-lobotomy? or if you know of a post analyzing it further? sorry to throw this at you, I just haven't seen any analysis of it but I saw your post so I was hoping you would have more info :) I really adore all of your tlt analysis posts!

Hi! Yeah, if you go into my '#harrow's schizophrenia' tag, I've made several posts about it, and other people have added on to a few of them with further elaboration.

But I don't think I've ever laid it out fully like a thesis. And I have several stressful things I should be doing right now, so I can't think of a better time to get into it.

When Harrow's brain is editing Gideon out, there's an effect a little like a record skip. Her memory snags on something, very briefly, and then quickly moves on. Or she'll make an assumption or say something that doesn't actually make sense without Gideon in the picture, but she won't notice. The most prominent example is the details in chapter 3 surrounding her opening of the Tomb:

Just ellipsis "found out" ellipsis to skim over the very large part Gideon had to play in those events. If she were to interrogate the memory, it would be strange that she doesn't remember how her parents found out, but doing so would make her brain bleed. She would black out, and most likely forget what she was trying to remember.

And an example from the same chapter of a statement that doesn't make sense, unless you know about Gideon:

Two things are important about these examples, the first being that they don't upset Harrow. She doesn't think they're strange, because she barely thinks about them, which was sort of the point of the lobotomy in the first place. The second is that they can be immediately explained by plugging Gideon into the Gideon-shaped hole in Harrow's memory. If you know about Gideon, and what Harrow's done, there's no mystery remaining.

In contrast, there are other details in chapter 3 about Harrow's childhood that Harrow did, and does, find strange and upsetting.

Gideon didn't attend services, and she most definitely didn't participate in chants. Putting Gideon back in the picture does nothing to explain the "weird, thuddering beat" Harrow finds disruptive. But it does sound an awful lot like an auditory hallucination, as does hearing doors open and close where no doors were opening and closing.

Maybe we could try to explain the doors by supposing she was hearing Gideon coming and going without remembering the source, but that doesn't really track with how we know her mind processes the missing pieces. If Harrow were papering Gideon over in her memory, it wouldn't be important who was or wasn't opening doors and where. The focus of her memory would quickly shift, just like it did when trying to remember how her parents found out about the Tomb, in order to avoid looking at what she's hidden from herself.

Then there's the next paragraph:

Again, plugging Gideon into this memory does nothing to explain it. Even if Gideon had been in the habit of sneaking up behind Harrow and attempting to choke her out—which, yikes—Harrow has already seamlessly blocked out the memory of one attempted strangulation. Then there are the phantom ropes she sees, her parents' method of suicide haunting her.

The forgetting where she was, losing time, and false memories do seem at first glance like they could be explained by the lobotomy, seeing as that is sort of the whole purpose and effect. But I'm pretty sure even these are real memories. Again, because of the focus of her attention. She's remembering having forgotten, while the lobotomy make her forget to remember.

Then there's Harrow's overall behavior. Her reactions to her hallucinations, especially in the River bubble, which imply that not all of this is new to her. She isn't shocked, or caught off-guard. She has coping mechanisms. She's figured out what evidence she can probably rely on to rule out hallucinations, and what's more likely to be suspect. A lobotomy, even a necromantic lobotomy, doesn't come with built-in tools for coping with its effects. Her memory of her past without Gideon in it is fractured and incomplete, not an entirely new life story with new life lessons.

Finally, from Nona the Ninth, some evidence that Harrow's problems with reality definitely predate the lobotomy:

Crux remembers them.

#the locked tomb #harrow nonagesimus #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow's schizophrenia #tlt meta #ntn spoilers #harrow the ninth #htn spoilers #long post #such a very long post sorry #op

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amuseoffyre · 4 months

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I was reading the interview with Jes Tom about the trans allegory of Ed dropping his leathers overboard and my brain latched onto it and started gnawing :D

It got me thinking that this definitely vibes with feelings I had back in 1x10 with Izzy keeping this emotionally vulnerable version of Blackbeard safely hidden from public view ("you will not speak of what you see on pain of death"), Lucius encouraging Ed to express himself and the whole "this… whatever it is that you have become" scene.

Ed says it there himself "I am still Blackbeard" and Izzy flat-out tells him he's not unless he presents himself a specific way, dresses and acts a specific way ('this is Blackbeard'.) Simply being "Edward" and expressing himself and his emotions means that Ed faces hostility, derision, implicit threat and "I should have let the English kill you".

Ed pulls on his leathers again again because he's been threatened by someone close to him, but this time it's different - the intent is different. No more "I am still Blackbeard" because apparently his version of Blackbeard isn't enough (and this is already on the back of Stede saying "you can't be Blackbeard without your black beard"). Now it's "the kraken" or "the fucking devil".

More importantly, when he puts the clothes back on, he does it based on one of the propaganda pictures distributed by the English. This isn't his choice of presentation anymore. I find it fascinating that his look at the beginning of S2 is some kind of hybrid of the Mad Devile Pyrate Blackbeard and the image that Izzy shoved in his face in 1x10. (Also love the detail that Izzy's image has elements that appear in Black Pete's fantasy of Blackbeard, to confirm that this image isn't accurate either)

It's a defensive pushback, escalating to the 'viking vampire clown' aesthetic, because if he's being threatened by someone he trusted and he's had past experience of people being nice to him then turning on him ('it's a fickle crowd'), he'll have to go to another extreme to make sure no one will get close enough to hurt him or threaten him again.

The clothing is only a surface element. It's part of an armour to protect himself with his presentation. Stede's line in 1x03 explains it in a nutshell - "It's a power move - make people feel underdressed and suddenly, you're the one in charge". People don't know him/aren't afraid of him when they see him without it (the party ship - "do you know who I am?") and this carries over into S2 as well (the people at the fish shack).

It only hit me now that every scene where he expresses his emotions when he's in his leathers includes some kind of hiding - his hair loose around his face, hiding under a robe in Stede's bath tub, standing at the back of the ship where no one can see his face, closing himself away to cry in an empty room, hiding under a blanket at Mary and Anne's. He's been forced to hide his vulnerabilities when he's in his armour for decades.

Even when he's talking to Stede (and others), he doesn't express his real intentions. It's all skirting around what he actual wants and feels. The "run me through", the "next adventure" - Ed doesn't feel he can express what he wants directly, because he always has to keep his guard up.

The beginning of 2x07 is Ed wanting to shed the need for that surface armour, that visible shield for Edward. He drops them overboard and immediately goes and talks to Stede about his emotions and his feelings for the first time.

The fact that Izzy saw the leather-drop and this time says "maybe you should listen to it" instead of tearing him down shows how far they've come. Ed feels safe with Stede and wants to just be himself, but when faced with the idea of staying in the world where that armour - that presentation and the expectations that come with it - is necessary again, he panics and runs.

Then their entire world is burning and as far as he knows, Stede is injured or dead.

Once again, the leathers come back, but this time, Ed is the one who chooses to put them on. He's taking this piece of himself that he has hated for years and turns it back into the armour that has protected him for this long to get back to Stede. Him having that choice, making that choice, is key.

I think the biggest thing is him realising he can be Blackbeard and Ed and whoever he wants to be without cutting off pieces of himself. So much of the Blackbeard presentation has been code-switching and hiding his real self. This time, he doesn't hide. He finds a letter and has a cry over it and the instant he's back at Stede's side, he drops his weapon and, for the first time, kisses Stede out in the open in front of people and tells him he loves him.

Ed is no longer afraid to be seen and expressing himself. He's letting himself - all aspects of himself - be seen. The clothes aren't him. They just happen to be there while he is himself.

My expectation is that S3 will see him finally being able to leave that armour behind for good and I can't wait for it.

#ofmd #ofmd meta #ofmd thinkie thoughts

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lutawolf · 8 months

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My Personal Weatherman and the D/s element Ep 3

If you haven't read my other episode break-downs, please do so here.

Let me just say, I love Segasaki. Oh, so much. He works hard to read Yoh. There is a lot of respect there, it's just there is also a lot of miscommunication. He commands Yoh, put that aside and come eat breakfast with me. And Yoh immediately obeys. While saying, he hates Segasaki in the most sappy inner voice ever. Leading us to believe that I hate you, is code for, I love you.

I really like you, is big dialogue? I mean, even porn should have some kind of plot asshole. I wanna beat his boss. Oh, Yoh is eating out. Change of scenery. Then surprise, Segasaki shows up. I adore it. He knows Yoh enough to know that he would be doing café sketches, so he came by. Um, good thing Segasaki missed seeing him with the girl. hahahaha. Are all Doms jealous? I get this question a lot. The answer is no. However, all Doms are possessive. That's not to say they can't also be jealous, but I personally am known for my possessiveness with damn near zero jealousy.

Their friendship is cute though. She got some brains there. She does. Why isn't he drawing BL! Um, he likes to draw breasts. Okay, I respect that.

The indecisiveness of a submissive. It's a thing. The more submissive, the less they like to make decisions. I however, want to make all the decisions unless I'm hungry, then I short circuit and sound like any hangry female. Segasaki asks if Yoh is working, Yoh says it doesn't matter. So Segasaki says they are going out, and he still asks again if Yoh has plans. Very respectful. Segasaki has way too much respect for any of Yoh's boundaries for anyone but dumbass Yoh to think he is a slave. That little smile Segasaki gives! Ahhhh!

They're on a date! So cute! I love how Segasaki just stares at Yoh and waits for him to notice. You are looking at a Dom with a strong primal instinct. The hunt, the chase, and outwitting his prey.

So much went down at this scene. Okay, so first, notice that Segasaki orders for Yoh. When I talk about a Dom serves food, this is what I mean. Everyone wants me to explain the difference between a Dom and sub serving food, and it's hard to. I can't just say, well one is a Dom and one is a sub, but that is it. The attitude involved with food is different. Segasaki and Yoh are a great example of this. Can you see the difference in how they both serve the food? How one is an act of service while the other is providing? Even in the way Segasaki takes a bite from Yoh's bun, he asks, but he is already going in for a bite and Yoh is already offering. The asking is simply Segasaki being soft with his commands. There is a reason why Brat Tamers are often called charming. Now, also notice that Segasaki purposely brought up the price, he also made sure to say that Yoh doesn't need to worry about it. This is him saying, no matter what, I can provide for you. Which is very important. A sub does not want a Dom that can't provide security. Think about it, a submissive is giving all of themselves, of course they need to feel secure.

Look at the difference in how Yoh asks for a bite. Look how he double-checks that it's okay. Totally different vibe. They felt like only Gyaru could have it? Like only females?

Oh, the ride is giving me My Accidental Love vibe. Yoh honey, this is a date. So cute!

Segasaki pushed that sales lady right out of the way. He wasn't rude, but he clearly indicated that Yoh was his. Poor Yoh is clueless. Man is cute but dumb. Seriously dumb. Thankfully, Segasaki is all about this idiot. He really does get him. OMG, the sheets!!! This is going down as my favorite. HAHAHA

Segasaki teases until Yoh admits. He teases, and then he praises. Ah, now Segasaki is calling him out. He continues to push. Causing Yoh to retreat, but Segasaki won't let him. He then calls Yoh an idiot. Fair enough because he is.

The kisses though! The kisses!!

See, Segasaki knows Yoh. Aw, the way Yoh curls in on him. So cute!

These two are killing me. I need more. Now! I'm looking forward to the next one. Hopefully you guys are too. If you enjoyed this. Let me know. 💜💜💜

#my personal weatherman #segasaki x yoh #luta talks my personal weatherman #luta talks kink #coconuts mafia

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yeaimsafiya · 1 month

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CHAPTER ONE back from rehab

SYNOPSIS the beginning of a teenage girl named y/n who is fresh out of rehab but doesn't intend to stay clean.

FROM THE WRITER AHH IM SORRY IM LATE GUYS!! This is the first chapter I'm ever writing, I took some inspo from episode 1 but I'm going to have to cut each episode into fourths because I really don't want to spend a whole week trying to finish a whole episode and school work. But I hope you guys really enjoy this chapter as much as I did - Love you guys, Sapiyah <3

WARNINGS Lots of unnecessary writing, female! reader, mentions of drugs and drinking, strong sexual content, nudity, violence, adult content, adult language, scenes might be uncomfortable for some, some scenes might include mentions of mental illness'

SERIES EUPHORIA

CHARACTERS INCLUDED members of the bakusquad & dekusquad, big three(?), some characters of class 1A

NOTES MDNI! Ageless blogs will be blocked or removed.

Readers discretion is advised

Suddenly, the whole world goes dark and nothing else matters except the person standing in front of you.

You were once happy. Content.

Sloshing and swimming around your own private, primordial pool; Then one day, for reasons beyond your control, you were continuously and repeatedly crushed...

Over..and over.. again by the cervix of your mother, M/n.

You put up a good fight, but eventually lost, for the first time, but not the last.

You were born 3 days after 9/11, your mother and father spent two days in the hospital, holding you under the soft glow of the television, watching those towers fall over and over again, until the feeling of grief gave away to numbness.

And then, without warning, a middle-class childhood in the American suburbs.

You were sitting at the dinner table with your mother, M/n, and Father, F/n. But it appeared something else had gotten your attention, a set of numerous lights above the dinner table, in which you wanted to count.

"Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen.."

" What are you looking at y/n?"

"..."

"What are you doing? ..Y-y/n look at me."

"One, two, three, .."

"What are you doing Y/n?"

*cries*

"Id say she's suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder..."

Its not like you were physically abused..

"...attention deficit disorder..."

..Or had some type of clean water storage..

"..general anxiety disorder.."

..Or was molested by a family member.

"..and possibly bipolar disorder. But she's a little bit too young to tell."

So, explain this shit to me.

"Honey, it's just the way your brain was hardwired; Plenty of great, intelligent, funny, interesting and creative people have struggled with the same things you struggle with."

"Like who?"

"Vincent Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, and even Brittney Spears, your favorite!"

You haven't remembered much from the ages of eight to twelve. Just that the world moved fast, and your mind moved slow.

"Does anyone have an idea of what a perception might be?"

And every now and then, if you focused on the way you breathed...

You'd die.

"Slow down, just breathe"

Until every second of the day, you'd find yourself trying to outrun your anxiety.

"What's wrong Y/n?"

..And quite frankly..

"I'm just fucking exhausted"

Coming down to the kitchen, you could hear the small talk between your mother and younger sister, S/N.

"You said the doctor was in our network. How can he suddenly be out of network?"

"I can't afford it."

"Did you see that video of the girl who got acid thrown at her face?"

"What? No.."

"It's pretty fucked up.."

"Mom do you know where the tampons are?"

"In my bathroom, right under the sink."

And at one point, you'd make a choice of who you are and what you want.

"Alright Gia, let's go"

"Why do the co-payments cost $300?"

"Y/n did you eat breakfast?"

".."

"What's with the glasses?"

"What glasses?"

You just happened to show up one day, without a map or a compass..

"Attention students, we need to lockdown."

..Or to be honest, anyone capable of giving on iota of good fucking advice.

And I know it all seems sad but guess what? You did not build this system up, nor fuck it up yourself.

But then it happens. That moment where your breath starts to slow. And every time you breathe, you breathe out all the oxygen you have.

Then everything stops: Your heart, your lungs, then finally, your brain. And everything you feel, you wish, and want to forget, it all just sinks.

And then suddenly... you give it air again, give it life again.

You remember the first time it happened, where you were so scared you wanted to call 911. Go to the hospital and be kept alive by machines and apple juice. But you didn't want to look like an idiot, and you didn't want to fuck up everyone else's night.

And now overtime, that's all you've wanted.. those two seconds of nothingness.

You spent a good portion of summer before junior year in rehab. God granted you the serenity to accept things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

"Y/N," your sister yelled from afar, greeting you after your long leave. You smiled, and whilst running up to her, tried to continue the conversation with your younger sibling.

"Hey, Come here!"

"How are you?"

"Good, I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Look at you, are you growing?"

"No."

Looking over, you see your mother standing by your family car.

"Hey," you yelled out to her, only to receive a small smile from her.

And with that. you knew it was your time to go.

"I'm very happy for you Y/n. You're about to start a brand-new chapter," Your mother says while driving you and your sister to school. You looked at her with a smile, then turned your attention back to the car window.

You had no intentions of staying clean. And yet, Jirou just moved into town.

"There's some new girl in town that I think you'll be friends with," Shoto said, with you standing beside him in his store.

"Who?"

"Shit, I don't know. She came in looking all punk rock and shit; So I'm thinking to myself, like, 'look like somebody Y/n would be friends with'."

Which was sort of a dead-on observation for Shoto, who's not normally revolving in the same direction as planet earth.

"So how long have you been back?" He asked.

"About five days."

"And how are you feeling?"

"I mean, ever since I gave my life over to my lord and savior Jesus Christ, things have been, like, really good."

"Word? That's what's up," You chuckled at his snarky remark, giving him a small smile.

"I'm fucking with you," you said whilst laughing, "It was a joke."

"Shit, hey, I don't judge," he defended, hands raising to just above his chest.

"But for real, is Deku in the back?"

"Are you serious?" Shoto questioned, seeming very disappointed in you.

"What, you think cause' I went to rehab I stayed clean?"

"I mean, ain't that the point?" he asks.

"Yeah, well, the world is coming to an end, and I haven't even graduated high school yet."

You gave Shoto one more smile before going to Deku, whilst Shoto stared at you the entire way there; There was a hint of sadness in his eyes, but since you were too busy looking for Deku, you didn't see.

You opened one of the doors of the refrigerators, leading you right to him with a bowl of fruit loops,"I thought your ass was dead," he said one he saw your appearance.

"And I thought you had Asperger's till I realized your just a prick," you barked back.

"This a fickle industry, y'all come and go. I'm just trying to stack my cash, pay off our mortgage," he said while pulling out a bunch of plastic bags out of a microwave.

"So what the fuck do you want?" You gave him a knowing look before he handed you needed.

"You sure you don't want to try something new?" He asks you.

"Like what?"

"2C-T-2, 2C-T-7, and 5-MeO-DIPT."

"I'm sorry I have no fucking idea of what you just said."

"It doesn't matter," he stated, "but this shit, is fucking lit."

"What is it?"

"N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine. It's a fast-acting psychedelic."

Got some similarities to LSD, but with, like, key differences. Not as visual as shit, but definitely a sense distorter.

"What's wrong?" That same dark purple hair girl questioned.

"I'm just so happy," you responded back.

"I don't know, this shits been going off in Tampa, and mad people like to fuck with this," Deku continued on with his descriptions with the drug.

"Okay. Yeah, why not."

"That'll be 120."

"Oh uh, Shoto said he'd spot me."

"Shoto doesn't spot nobody."

"Yeah, well, it's a post-rehab discount, so you should ask him."

"I will go ask him, cause' I know your full of shit."

Those were the last words he said before you walked out. Those were the last words you heard before you saw the same two boys in freshman year.

Bakugo and Kirishima.

TAGLIST: (send an ask or reply to add or remove) @urinejaeger, @saturxnn, @lv9su, @minnipe, @flamgosstuff, @lilrockzstar, @actfsgxcv, @lovebuggyboo, @russochild19, @iits-lexie, @mendez5657, @animatronicrat, @thirstygorl, @scrittynotfound, @pleaseleavemebelol, @thymebread, @cocojellie, @vxnanaaa-blog, @tn-johnson, @knotatwink, @hpttstears, @blackcatluna, @queennb-123, @nndntahg

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redhoodinternaldialectical · 4 months

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Finding character motivations for everything Talia Al Ghul does and says in Lost Days

People say she was manipulating Jason to be more violent but like... was she?? Why would she be doing that??? She spends years trying to heal him for Bruce and then tries to make him more violent towards Bruce because... ????????

I've read Lost Days a fair few times and it never felt like she was being cruel or manipulative and this has confused the fuck out of me for a long time. Since I'm going to be writing her into my Jason centric fic pretty soon, I figured it would be good to go back to Lost Days and really focus in on her and her character motivations.

This is a post because I do my best thinking through the act of writing essays, and figured someone out there might also be interested.

tl;dr In the text as written Talia does her level best to guide Jason to become a Hero again out of genuine compassion. It is her explicit goal to make Jason less vengeful, less violent, and more like the hero he was before he died. She is not predatory towards him, and the only times she works in ways that could be damaging to him are when she feels her own safety is threatened by him. Talia is depicted as a good but flawed person shaped by the trauma Ra's and the League has put her through.

So yeah, wildly over detailed analysis of everything Talia does and says during Lost Days under the cut:

Scene one: Ra's and Talia yelling dramatically on a lawn right after Talia uses a Lazarus Pit on Jason.

Her stated justification for doing so is "I did--what--needed to be done" (em dashes for choking). Considering she risked a LOT to do this, I figure she's probably telling the truth. She believed this was necessary.

Then we flash back to her first learning about Jason's death. She posits that his death will essentially break Bruce.

In the panels directly after this she's shown looking at a picture of Jason and Bruce, face in hands, clearly upset. Probably primarily for Bruce, but like idk she's an empathic human I feel like it's safe to say she's upset for the kid who died too, especially since the picture centers Jason prominently, with focus/close-up panels on both Bruce and Jason, with Jason's scanning first.

Then we have the sequence of her learning that Jason is still alive, through her agents who have been instructed to keep a very close eye on Bruce.

Her first big decision is to bring him to her Father. She doesn't make any attempt to hide him, so it's either a good idea to her or a necessary one. Ra's obviously wants to figure out how he managed to cheat death, and it seems likely to me, given that she's loyal to him, that she'd also want to do so. She doesn't seem to want him dead, even if she's at odds with him pretty much the whole time to one degree or another.

Then we get her investigating Jason's ressurection and the doctor she's got telling her about his brain damage and the Doc claims he's not getting better

We're just gonna breeze on passed that autistic affect weirdness...

She disagrees.

This is the third time now that Talia has had faith in the humanity and emotional capacity of people the rest of the League write off as being capable of nothing but violence. Considering she's been right the other times it stands to reason that she's right about this too. It also says a lot about her character that this is something she's repeatedly done.

She attempts to prove he's getting better by slapping Jason across the face, declaring, "He never fights back when it's me! Explain that! Never when it's me!"

This strongly suggests that she must treat him differently than the rest of the league, specifically that she treats him with more kindness and more attention. He recognizes her as someone safe, who he doesn't need to fight.

This is further backed up by the next page

Ra's then decides that all this has been a complete waste of time and demands that Jason be put out to pasture so he can't distract Talia from her work for the League.

During this argument Ra's posits that she thinks handing over a healed Jason would make Bruce love her, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I think Ra's is misreading her, in exactly the same way all of the League has been misreading everyone all issue: he's failing to understand that people are capable of actual love and compassion. He's interpreting her acts of kindness and love as something manipulative and selfish. Maybe that's something she believes or hopes for on some level, but it's obviously not her "real" motive here like Ra's thinks.

This is what makes her decide that it's necessary to make one last attempt to heal him, and get him out somewhere safer than with the League. It's a desperate last ditch attempt, but she's a competent motherfucker.

The rest of the issue is narrated as a letter Talia sends off with him in the bag of supplies she gives him. In it she says that she had other reasons for attempting to save him.

So, at the end of issue #1 we have three clear motives for why she healed Jason:

To heal Jason is to heal Bruce.

She has a basic sense of decency and wants to help a murdered kid recover. Jason healing is its own reward.

She wants to find out how Jason "survived" so that her Father might be able to replicate that for himself.

Healing Jason might bring her emotionally closer to Bruce.

ALL of these are based in love, and thus could qualify for what she meant in those last few lines of her letter. However, I think I want to emphasis that she almost certainly has to be including love for Jason himself, not just for what Jason represents to Bruce, though Bruce is still a huge focus for her.

And she didn't tell Bruce because Ra's might kill Jason. He doesn't want Batman to know he's alive, ever, and may very well kill Jason to keep that secret.

ON TO ISSUE #2

This is where it gets a lot harder to figure out why she's doing things.

Talia's first act is to refuse to tell Ra's where Jason is. Her second revealed act is that while tossing Jason into the ocean to help him escape she says this:

"Do not seek him out. You remain unavenged."

Third thing she does is check up on her loyal agents who tell her "We know where he's going You're not going to like it." This is immediately followed by the reveal that Jason is going to Gotham.

So uhhhh... Why doesn't Talia want him to go to Bruce now? Also, why does Talia think that being unavenged would mean Jason going to Bruce was a bad idea? Like how is the unavenged bit not a complete nonsequitor?

Cause the thing is, we the audience know what Jason is like in the future, Lost Days was written after UtRH, but Talia doesn't know Jason's personality, she's only met him while he was incapable of communication, so what reason does she have to assume this would impact him like this?

Hypothesis one: She knew about Felipe, thinks he killed him, and thus counts him as a killer of abusers, someone who would want revenge.

Seems pretty unlikely. There's absolutely nothing in the text to support this, it's completely made up conjecture. Also, she doesn't seem to think Jason is the type of person to do revenge all that harshly in later panels.

Hypothesis two: She's counting on the temporary adrenaline-rage-pain boost from the Pit to convince him to be mad about the whole unavenged thing.

Why tho? Like, for realsies, there's no reason for her to try to do this? If this is a plan to keep him away from Bruce, it's a dumb one, like why would that be her choice of strategy?? Also the letter contradicts this.

Hypothesis three: She believes it was wrong of Bruce not to avenge him, or at least thinks that most people would be incredibly angry to find they weren't avenged

Baring her just being fucking precognitive and knowing the future for no good reason, this seems like the most likely cause. Growing up in the League hasn't exactly given her a view of how healthy people handle their anger, and violent retaliation is a nigh daily obstacle for her to navigate. It means she told him that because she thought it was important and she probably always intended to tell him whenever he healed enough to understand it.

Hypothesis four: She assumed him finding out was inevitable, and wanted to do that in a controlled manner... uhhh... and the best controlled manner avaliable was... while flinging him off a cliff??? Instead of in the letter?????

Not buying this one.

We see Jason try to kill Bruce and then get him explaining himself to Talia.

That's... that's not how sociopathic works I'm pretty sure... whateves...

Talia seems to have believed there would have been a fight about the Joker, but not that Jason would have actually tried to kill him. Or at least not that Jason would have tried to really, truly kill him in such a cold, calculated way once all forms of Laz juice were out of his system.

So again, why the fuck was she preventing him and Bruce from meeting?! Would the Dark Knight not have survived a fist fight with an angry sixteen year old??

I don't get it. That's uhhhh- that doesn't make any sense to me. I guess she was just wary of how bad the confrontation might get, but not fully expecting this kind of rage? Maybe she was acting much more confident of her decisions in front of her father and was really worried about this outcome? I dunno, and that's all the evidence we've got!

And now we have a new problem! Why does Talia agree to help him?

She believes she's released a curse into this world. She believes that she has kickstarted a nasty cycle of violence spiral. She doesn't want to see Bruce hurt or killed by his kid.

So the only conclusion left is that she thinks she can better mitigate the damage by helping and misdirecting than she can by actually confronting Jason. Considering who she interacts with, that seems perfectly reasonable.

ON TO ISSUE #3

We get some proper answers here hopefully

Our previous idea about why she was helping him was correct, this is an attempt to keep him less violent, steer him towards other things, and let his desire for revenge fizzle or find a different target.

She's not giving him over to Bruce because Bruce would never forgive her for having kept Jason from him... And also Jason will fucking kill Bruce.

Make special note here of the idea that sex is why she isn't beating the crap out of this guy. Put a pin in that. It'll be important later.

Back down at the murder ranch, Jason finishes killing his teacher and then explains himself

I believe she's genuinely happy about this, because it is actually a step in the direction she wants him to take. He went from being completely obsessed with just killing the father who didn't avenge him, to saving a bunch of kids and delaying his own revenge goals to do it. The tin man IS growing a heart. Her plan is, miraculously, kinda working!

ON TO ISSUE #4

Further proof that her plan is working: Jason leaves Rip, the mercenary driver, alive. He's developing standards for who he is and isn't willing to kill, and those standards are evolving because he is being pushed outside his conflict with Bruce.

His treatment of the bomber's connection with the mob is further proof of this.

That little smile and her gently nudging him towards the idea that he's picking "old habits" back up is very telling. She's guiding him back to the path of actually being a Hero. I think this is meant to imply that Talia is deliberately throwing scumbags towards him to not only distract him, but also to remind him of the heroism he did before he died and give him new purpose beyond mere violence towards Bruce.

And again, her plan is working! He's doing hero stuff!

Aaaaand now we have another curveball. Why show him Tim?

Again, him finding out about this was probably inevitable. He seems more chill, the dark circles under his eyes are gone, I think she's hoping that while in the middle of a new investigation Jason will be in as good a place as she can find to tell him about this.

It's better than mid cliff dive, if nothing else.

Now, to head this off at the pass, because I've seen people assert this in other posts before: this is definitively, absolutely, 100% guaranteed, NOT WHEN TITANS TOWER HAPPENS. He hasn't even come up with using the red hood as a persona when she shows him this picture, so even if he let the extremely time sensitive bombing plot go for a day or two worth of private jetting to beat up the new guy, there's no way in HELL Tim would be able to recognize the Red Hood as Jason. Heck, Tim wouldn't even be with that set of Titans yet, the fucking HUSH plotline hasn't even happened yet!! Okay moving on...

ON TO ISSUE #5

Talia isn't in this one

Jason acts as a Hero. Tim man definitely has a heart.

I really like this plotline tbh, it's just great.

He kills all but one of the Russian mobsters that come to kill him and then he runs out of ammo on the last, and that guy offers up the Joker's location in exchange for his life.

This is when the Tin Man relapses.

ON TO ISSUE #6

CONTENT WARNING FOR DISCUSSION OF CONSENT ISSUES

He hunts the Joker down and fails to kill him. I want to emphasis here, that failing to kill the Joker is a failure to adhere to the morals that Jason has established for himself, and a failure to keep being an anti-hero the way Talia was encouraging him to be.

This is not him being a good guy. This is him getting worse again. This is him failing to care about the world and things other than his own revenge.

Once again he explains himself to Talia, and reveals that he's known for a while now that she's been stalling him.

And then they fuck, and Jason wakes up alone.

So what just happened and why?

First of all I think the fact he KNEW he was being stalled combined with his heroism prior to the Joker being brought up strongly implies that Talia's plan would have kept working and that Jason would have kept letting it work, drawing him more and more into just being an anti-hero. He has a heart, he has morals, but his rage for Bruce and the Joker eclipses those morals pretty completely. Talia's plan was always to guide him away from revenge and it might have worked if he hadn't run out of ammo at the wrong time.

Secondly, Talia has just been given a bunch of reasons to feel threatened. Her plot was revealed, and Jason no longer has reason to believe that she isn't an obstacle to his goals.

Considering the sheer amount of violence that Talia regularly narrowly escapes only through manipulation and leveraging men's emotions, it seems pretty reasonable to me that she'd assume she needed to do both those things in order to protect herself.

She tells Jason about Ra's death, claiming that she's angry with Bruce for that. I don't know if this is the truth, but it would serve this purpose either way. She's giving him reasons to believe she's still on his side. Then she gets emotional leverage on him by sleeping with him. Take that pin out of the fact that she didn't beat that other guy for talking out of turn to her because she was fucking him. Then she escapes while he's asleep and only contacts him again from afar.

She does both of these things because she is afraid that a freshly refocused on vengeance Jason will hurt or kill her if she doesn't. After all, she herself is a killer. Jason might just decide it's her turn to join his other teachers.

The scene of them sleeping together isn't framed as traumatic for Jason; he seems to be perfectly willing.

There two very important questions that need answered before we cast judgments though: Is Jason still a minor when this happens? How old is Talia in comparison to Jason?

The only indication of timeline that we have is that it takes place JUST prior to Hush, as the story ends with Jason meeting Tomas Elliot. According to the Batman Chronology Project, Tim should be 16 during the events of Hush. We know Jason is about two years older than Tim, making him 18 during this scene.

According to Dennis O'Neil "I’m pretty sure that Talia is still a young woman – young by our standards, not just her father’s." According to some random fucker on an ancient comicvine forum going by the handle "brock4618", O'Neil said in a different interview that she was 18 when Bruce kissed her and is about Dick's age, not Bruce's age. I can't find O'Neil saying that, but it does line up with the quote we know is real.

So this was a case of an extremely traumatized 18 year old boy agreeing to sleep with a woman in her twenties after he accidentally made her feel that she needed to use sex and emotional manipulation to protect herself from his possible violent retaliation.

This is still a deeply unpleasant situation, but it's so much better than the initial impression that I got!

CONCLUSIONS TIME

Talia healed Jason because

She's a kind and loving person, and was especially kind and loving when she was younger. She wants to help Bruce, she wants to help Jason, and she wants to help her father. She did it for love.

Talia kept Jason's existence a secret from Bruce because

Her father demanded she keep it a secret, then she was afraid Bruce would hate her for it, and by the time she ought to be warning Bruce about Jason, well he was a scary motherfucker and she was in too deep.

Is Talia portrayed as a sexually predatory monster?

No. A woman using sex to escape violence is not predatory; I will fucking fight you. That whole scenario was bad, but acting like she's evil for this doesn't pan out unless you disagree with some of the facts of the case. It also really doesn't feel like Winick intended for the audience to assume this was predatory. Jason never seems uncomfortable with the fact it happened, and he even gives Jason a bit of beard scruff to help convey that he's older now. (it uh... it didn't work. Because I thought Talia was like 52 at minimum. Also just the timeline. But that was the intent I feel)

Is Talia attempting to make Jason more vengeful?

No. Exact opposite actually, every lie and manipulation is in service of preventing him from going on his vengeance quest, guiding him to be a better person, and protecting herself and others.

As a side note: I haven't touched the potential misogyny or racism angles, because that's simply beyond the scope of this analysis. I don't have the time, energy, or resources to dig into this myself, you'll have to find a different post for that angle, sorry.

So... yeah. That's my findings, I hope at least one other person finds this useful!

#jason todd #talia al ghul #lost days #nightmarishly long analysis that I hope is half decent lol

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iamthecomet · 10 months

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Thots on the new Ghouls first impact scene?

What if he saw Mountain putting Rain back in his place over his knee in the middle of the common room after he had been real bratty all day. To start the new ghoul was shocked and worried that seemingly sweet, gentle Mountain would do such a thing to his mate but when Mountain asked Rain for a colour after a particuarly hard hit started the tears flowing, he put two and two together from the gentler, sensation and teasing based scenes he has been part of so far. Watching Rain endure his 'punishment' has his brain shorting out and he decides right then, he absoloutly wants a piece of that.

Which ghoul does he go to about it, does he bring up the subject and ask nicely for what he wants or does he just try bratting like Rain and Dew on for size, to see where it gets him? how does the scene itself go down? I have so many questions i am gnawing the bars of my enclosure!

Thoughts below the cut. Not quite a ficlet and not quite headcanons, just nearly 1,000 words of unhinged ramblings.

Two things happen when he watches Mountain spank Rain. The first, is that he realizes he really likes to watch. He likes the way Rain shudders, the way he yelps. Loves the way his body jolts with each solid hit. He feels the sound in his bones.

There is something about the way Mountain asks for a color that makes Aeon feel insane. The care evident in his voice. The way he pushes Rain's sweaty hair out of his face when he asks. The desperate nod to Rain's head when he says he's green. 'm green, Mount don't stop.

The second is that he realizes he needs this. Needs to feel that sharp sting. Needs someone to talk to him like this. Needs the vitriol mixed with the love like his life depends on it.

And you might think Aeon tries to broach the subject with Mountain or Aether. Maybe even one of the ghoulettes. He definitely doesn't try to just brat himself into it. He's seen enough to know that there's negotiation involved. And it would be smart to ask one of the bigger ghouls. The level headed ones.

But he doesn't want Mountain to hit him. He thinks he does, when he's watching the scene unfold. But then Dew strides into the room, looks at the scene and barks out a laugh and Aeon knows exactly who he wants.

Dew makes a comment about Mountain not hitting Rain hard enough and suddenly Aeon needs to know what those bony hands feel like on his ass. He's staring before he realizes it--and worse, Dew's staring back. Mouth quirking up into a sly smile that makes Aeon's stomach do a disastrous flip.

Dew leaves the room without a word.

Aeon tries to think of ways to ask Dew for this without embarrassing himself. He really likes Dew. Wants to impress him. He rolls possible ways to get it to happen around in his head for two days. He watches Dew during practice, during dinner.

He knows he's making a mistake. That Dew isn't going to treat him nicely like Mountain treats Rain, and Aeon's ok with that. He doesn't particularly want nice. He wants Dew.

He doesn't end up having to ask. Dew corners him in the hallway on the way back to their rooms from dinner. Comes up behind him, twists one arm behind his back and shoves him, chest first, into the nearest wall.

Strong despite his size, and Aeon can't think of anything except being bent over his knee. The smell of Dew invades his senses. He's hard already, dick grinding against the stone wall as Dew pins him.

"You want me to hurt you, don't you?" Dew asks, and Aeon nods, he whispers please against the wall and he can feel Dew's grin on the back of his neck.

Aeon half expects Dew to get right to it. To force him to undress, to drag him over his knee and just start. But Dew makes him talk about it first. Sets ground rules. Explains the color system. Tells Aeon that he isn't allowed to force himself through this if it's too much.

That conversation alone is almost too much. Dew's as serious as Aeon's ever seen him. Arms crossed, eyes focused on Aeon's as he talks and forces Aeon to answer.

By the time they're ready and Dew orders him to strip, he's shaking. He's hard, embarrassingly so. His cock already dripping. And Dew takes one look and huffs out a harsh bark of laughter.

He drags Aeon over, bends him over his knee, and tells him that if he makes a mess on Dew's jeans--he's going to have to clean it up.

Dew makes him keep count. The words stuttering out of his mouth after every sharp hit. Dew starts off easy. Sharp hits that sting but don't ache. Aeon lurches with each one. Gasping as Dew's hands land on alternating cheeks. Purring as he kneads at them between strikes. Melting deeper and deeper into Dew's lap. His face pressed into Dew's sheets--they smell like him.

Aeon grinds his dick against Dew's thigh and mewls.

The first hard strike takes him off guard. He yelps. He feels the sting of it deep. Feels the impact in his legs.

Dew tells him he's going to make sure Aeon thinks about him every time he sits down for the next week and Aeon suddenly believes him. Knows that by the end of this his ass will be a myriad of colors.

He can't wait to see.

The yelps turn into moans after a while. Dew fists his free hand in Aeon's hair and drags his glassy gaze up so he can really look at him.

"Fucking pain slut," Dew accuses and Aeon can't deny it. He just nods, and when Dew asks him for a color, Aeon tells him green.

And then he asks for Dew to hit him harder.

Aeon only makes it two more of those hard hits before he's cumming all over Dew's jeans. Sobbing with it. Tears soaking into Dew's bedspread.

Dew scoffs. Calls him pathetic. Tells him to clean up his mess. Aeon slips off Dew’s lap and kneels between his legs and dragging his tongue over the rough denim while Dew keeps a firm hand in his hair to guide him. Dew drags his mouth over his cock. Tells him if he really wants to be his good boy—he’ll suck his cock.

Aeon is more than happy to oblige.

#comet writes #sort of #ghost headcanons #ghoul headcanons #ficlet #dew/aeon #aeon/dewdrop #ghost fic #ghost fanfic #ghost fanfiction #aeon ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #mean dew #dom dew

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desertfangs · 6 months

Text

One of my favorite things in The Vampire Lestat (and maybe the VC) is when Lestat has his extensional crisis with Nicki, where he realizes that he believes there's nothing after death but oblivion and it freaks him out so much he can't stop saying "Oh! Oh!" over and over.

He's just overwhelmed by the realization that life may be meaningless, that there's no guiding hand, and that when you die no secrets are revealed, no truths, only nothing:

I realized aloud in the midst of saying it that even when we die we probably don't find out the answer as to why we were ever alive. Even the avowed atheist probably thinks that in death he'll get some answer. I mean God will be there, or there won't be anything at all.

"But that's just it, " I said, "we don't make any discovery at that moment! We merely stop! We pass into nonexistence without ever knowing a thing. " I saw the universe, a vision of the sun, the planets, the stars, black night going on forever. And I began to laugh.

"Do you realize that! We'll never know why the hell any of it happened, not even when it's over! " I shouted at Nicolas, who was sitting back on the bed, nodding and drinking his wine out of a flagon. "We're going to die and not even know. We'll never know, and all this meaninglessness will just go on and on and on. And we won't any longer be witnesses to it. We won't have even that little bit of power to give meaning to it in our minds. We'll just be gone, dead, dead, dead, without ever knowing! " But I had stopped laughing. I stood still and I understood perfectly what I was saying!

There was no judgment day, no final explanation, no luminous moment in which all terrible wrongs would be made right, all horrors redeemed. The witches burnt at the stake would never be avenged. No one was ever going to tell us anything! No, I didn't understand it at this moment. I saw it!

And I began to make the single sound: "Oh! " I said it again "Oh! " and then I said it louder and louder and louder, and I dropped the wine bottle on the floor. I put my hands to my head and I kept saying it, and I could see my mouth opened in that perfect circle that I had described to my mother and I kept saying, "Oh, oh, oh! " I said it like a great hiccupping that I couldn't stop.

Lestat at this point knows his mother is dying (she told him she likely won't last through winter) and he's been getting drunk and listening to Nicki play violin and having these deep, philosophical discussions about life, the universe, and everything, and then it just hits him suddenly.

And he's so overtaken by the idea that death is this finite end, and there's no meaning to anything, that it just kind of breaks him and his brain keeps skipping and all he can do is repeat 'Oh! Oh!' over and over while Nicki tries to get him to stop, probably worried that he'll be locked away as a madman if he doesn't.

It's just such a poignant scene. Lestat realizes the universe is cold and uncaring, and it kind of breaks him. Baby's first extensional crisis. He will have more of them, of course. And it's such a great dichotomy with Armand, who is so deeply enthralled in the Children of Darkness, and it explains so much about why Lestat reacts to becoming a vampire in the way that he does, reveling in it and almost immediately turning his mother. And it's just such a well-written scene, I love it.

#the vampire lestat #lestat de lioncourt #vc meta #tvl #vc quotes #anne rice #vampire chronicles #vc #armand #nicolas de lenfent #random things i think about when i reread these books #lestat/nicki

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im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 1 year

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Hohoho~ I've just of an idea and you know what? This one goes out to you, @im-totally-not-an-alien-2.

Enemies to Lovers this. Fake Dating/Relationship that. Let's combine the two. Brain Dead style.

Danny is a thief. It started off with him stealing back ghostly artifacts and snowballed when he got commissioned to steal back a family heirloom that had been stolen/lost way back when. With a hefty reward of course. Danny doesm't exactly have the time to track down some heirloom through time, obviously, but he's a struggling college student at Gotham U and WOW that's a lot of 0s. So he does the next best thing. He goes back in time and gets the family heirloom right before it 'disappears'. With a job well done, he gets recommended to someone else. This continues and he grows to have quite the repuation. Que the arrival of Tim Drake.

Someone's been kicking up a fuss about some thief who's been stealing quite the pricy items, but that's not exactly on his radar, you see? HOWEVER! This mysterious thief IS person of interest on a murder case. And thus, Red Robin is on their trail.

Eventually, it culminates to a certain prickly situation. And by that, I mean, Tim knows that Danny is the thief. DANNY knows that Tim is Red Robin. Neither of them can risk outing the other without outing themselves. But Tim always has a plan and he's getting closer and closer to cracking this case and, quite possibly, bringing Danny down too.

So what does Danny do? He uses Tim as his alibi. For every time Danny is out stealing something, and someone asks where he's going or where he'd been at these certain times, what does he say? He says he was with Tim Drake. And Tim can't do anything to stop him. Not without outing himself anyways, and it doesn't help that Danny has somehow gotten ahold of his schedule to make sure that Tim can't use any other alibi. So he goes along with it.

Everyone thinks they're dating. Tim is quietly seething and frustrated, and unwillingly impressed. Danny just wishes that Tim would get off his back.

I'd love to hear an addition to this. Have a great day!

Oh gods, I love this! Did Danny get framed for murder cause I can't see him just running around killing people. Maybe it was his parents who accidentally killed someone and didnt realize it and Dannys DNA was left at the crime scene. Maybe they purposely killed someone and planted Phantoms hair there or something to "prove all ghosts are evil" or whatever.

Maybe Vlad tried to frame Danny for murder. Maybe (and this is my favorite) Danny legitimately killed Vlad either by accident or in self defense and since Vlad had willed everything to either Danny or his mom he knew the cops and ensuing media storm would never believe him.

So he ran.

Danny gets awkward whenever Tim/Red Robin brings up the murder and swears it isn't what it looks like but refuses to explain any further, even if it makes him look more guilty when he doesn't.

Dannys alibi falls apart after Tim deviates from his schedule and is on camera at the library alone or if one of his brothers says "he was with me" and Tim confirmed it, or the waynes disguise someone as Tim and give him an out that way. Maybe have fake Tim and/or fake Red Robin in the same room together to make it seem like there was no way they were the same person.

Unfortunately Phantoms comes up with another believable (and slightly embarrassing) alibi before he pulls the same trick as Tim with his duplicates. Bam, they're once again at an impasse.

This rivalry does not deter people from believing that they are either dating or super into eachother. Danny flirting with him so much doesn't help.

Worst of all his siblings are betting on when-not if- when they get together.

How dare!

#the alien answers #i hope you have a great day too #i love this one #so juicy #wait till tim finds out about ghost hunting equipment #like what if they both get caught in a trap meant for Phantom and tim discovered danny cant phase them out of it #theyre stuck for a bit and are forced to make uncomfortable small talk #they bond while being tied up in fenton fishing line #that or theyre tangled up in it and are untangling themselves as they chat

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adudelolwriting · 12 days

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"instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren’t actually dating" but with either brim or jam maybe? 👀👀 (last prompt absolutely gutted me btw it was SO good)

holy fuck i could have SWORN this was meant to be like 500 words. nope. another 1k oneshot . hopefully you'll enjoy :D this ones a lot sweeter than the other one (ask game here)

~~~~~~~~~~

Alex knew Brian and Tim were close. Brian is one of Alex's closest friends, and he knew about Tim a long while before he met the man. Alex first met him when Brian was 'auditioning' for the part of Brian, the main character in his film he was making. (Brian already had the part, in Alex's mind. Alex heavily based the character of his friend, and named the role after him.)

Don't get Alex wrong, Tim was an attractive man. He just… he wasn't Alex's type. He seemed very… nervous, talking to most people, his back stiff and arms crossed. Alex really only saw the man's guard get let down when he was off to the side, having a short, private chat with Brian. And Alex didn't think anything of it — why would he?

No, Alex was far more interested in his long term friend. He had talked to Jay, one time, when it was late into the night. They probably should have been asleep, but instead, Alex was talking about Brian.

"It's just, he gives me the butterflies, like Amy used to," Alex said, laying on his back and staring at the popcorn ceiling of his room.

"So you have a crush on him?" Jay asked, his head tilting to the side, like it always does when he was curious or interested in something. Alex shook his head, "no, I can't have one. I know he swings both ways, but he's my friend. I've known him almost as long as I've known you."

Jay chuckled, leaning back on his elbows, looking to Alex. "That doesn't mean much, dude. If he makes you feel like you felt for Amy, I think that's a pretty big sign," he smiles.

But Alex can't have a crush on Brian, right?

Yeah, the man makes his stomach flip, and pretty, and he makes Alex laugh, and…

Oh.

Alex had a crush on Brian.

Alex had a crush on Brian, and Jay was the one who helped him realize.

He let out a groan, blush blooming from his face as Alex tried to hide himself. Jay laughed at him, patting him on his shoulder. "Maybe you should ask him out. It looks like he feels the same for you too, dude."

"I just found out I liked him, I can't just — ask him out like that!" Alex huffed, voice muffled by his hands.

"Why not? Someone else might ask him out first! Imagine if like, he and Sarah got together," Jay laughed quietly, to which Alex groaned again, muttering a 'shut up' and throwing a pillow on him.

Some days have passed now, and Alex could only focus on the fact that he liked Brian. After shooting, Alex had made a plan to ask Brian — er, well, at least tell him. Maybe explain and hope production of Marble Hornets wouldn't be awkward if Alex explained why he couldn't look at Brian without getting flustered.

Once filming for the day was done, Brian and Tim were talking quietly as Seth put the camera away, and Sarah and Jay talked. It was a pretty full day, with all of the crew around. (Sarah even decided to stay and watch after her scenes were done!)

Alex walked over to Brian and Tim, and their conversation pauses as he got closer. "Hey man! What's up?" Brian asks.

"Could I talk to you for a moment? Uh, privately?" Alex asked, and he felt his blush already starting to rise. Brian looks back to Tim, who simply shrugged.

"Yeah, of course. Lead the way!" Brian smiled, and god, was the man pretty. Alex shook his head. The two walked a bit further from the set — out of earshot of everyone else. "Uh, I'm not in trouble or anything, right? Not firing me or anything?" Brian laughs, putting an easy smile on Alex's face.

"No, no. Nothing of the sort. It's, uh…" Alex paused, as if thinking of the words of his scrambled brain. "It's more… personal, I guess."

Brian's eyebrows tilt in concern. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah — It's, yeah." Alex took a deep breath. "Brian, I — I like you."

His face must be so red. He can't make eye contact, instead staring down into the grass. The silence washes over them, and god, Alex ruined everything, didn't he?

"Oh my god," Brian giggles after a second, which felt like an eternity, "God, Alex, I like you too. Did you really not pick up any of the signs?"

"You… what?" Alex feels like his brain broke. Brian liked him too? Brian had been leaving signs?

"Yeah man!" Brian grinned. "I've liked you, for like, forever now. You never did anything so I didn't think you liked me back."

Alex laughs at himself. Of course. "Ah, in that case… are you free this weekend..?"

"Alex Kralie, are you asking me out on a date?"

"If you could be inclined to join me, then… yes?"

"I would love to. I'll have to ask Tim, to see if he's okay with it." Huh? "We've talked briefly about it, but I'll have to double check if we can get serious, too."

"What?" Alex asked. "Why — Why do you have to ask Tim?"

Brian's eyebrows now curl in confusion. "Because… me and Tim are dating?"

"What?"

Brian giggles, breath whistling quietly from the gap in his teeth. "Me and Tim have been together for like, two or three years!"

"And you — you didn't tell anyone?" Embarrassment and shame flushes through Alex. He asked out a taken man.

"We… we did, didn't we?" Brian says, seemingly to himself. "I thought we did. Was it not obvious? I've literally gushed about him for hours."

"I just— I thought you guys were friends — Sorry, I should go—" Alex was about to turn around and leave, but Brian took his hand into his own.

"Hey, dude, it's fine. I'm poly, y'know? I have two hands. I like you too, did you just forget that?" Brian giggles lightly. "Please don't run away from me 'cause of this, Alex. I'm like, ninety-nine percent sure Tim's okay with this."

They talked it out, talked to Tim, and everything was okay.

And, well, besides.

Brian does have two hands for a reason.

#adude.writes #adude.requests #marble hornets #alex kralie #tim wright #jay merrick #brian thomas #brilex #i think thats correct?#brim #ship fic #eeee hope you enojy !!!!! im glad you liked the other one too :DD !!!! AHH #how do these fics keep getting out of my control LMAO #theyre meant to be small drabbles.... how do they get longer than actual works ive been doing LMAO

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bluginkgo · 5 months

Text

Welcome to another Ginkgo rants show. I am your host, and today I'm talking about:

What the f*ck is thiiiiiis!!!?

Spoilers, duh

Many people have talked about this specific scene- and given that I only came to murder drones when Amazing Digital Circus released, I'm quite late, whoops. But I still wanna take a shot at what the hell that thing is.

Of course, Cabin Fever episode is followed by Home, which answers the question as to who it is... sorta.

It's one of these guys. I can see why people could think that the shadowy figure is Cyn. She has the same bow and hairstyle Tessa has. But I will have to side with that was Tessa. Cyn's hair is slightly longer, reaching further down than Tessa's.

Then next question would be: wtf is she doing there? When Uzi first shines her light at the shadowy figure, you can just barely see how the image glitches/rolls just ever so slightly. And the next frame is soon followed by the classic absolute solver hand.

Why do I believe it's a solver hand for sure? Later on Tessa herself said:

"Too tall, handsome, and air is toxic." I am still very skeptical about this black dot/head/⚫️ Tessa being the real Tessa. But her comment stands. Air is toxic on Copper-9 now. Which does make one question as to how the trees are still around then, but I can't get that sciency without hurting my own brain.

So the hand we see, has to be Absolute Solver seeing as it was the only thing capable of creating biological matter in this toxic environment. Further backed up by the fact that the image that was supposedly projected was Tessa, must be also Absolute Solver's doing.

Another question then arises, why did Absolute Solver show Tessa to Uzi? And where did this Absolute Solver come from?

Goodie! Look at that, Doll is here along with them! Although it does make some sense now, it raises even more questions. We did see Doll is very good at using Absolute Solver to the fullest- seen with her fight against the trio in The Promening. But that doesn't quite answer how she was able to project a whole Tessa? It has been seen that Absolute Solver has a hive mind/cloud based system with the comment it made:

"More like you are our cute puppets. It hurts our feelings when you don't remember us."

Absolute Solver knows that Uzi is a potential host. And it knows that Nori was her mother and also an Absolute Solver host- and easily probably knows Doll is also a potential host. So it does make sense that it can create an image of Tessa, but does not quite explain as to why Doll would be able to do this too. Doll might actually have the ability to create holograms of people she's seen, that could be a great possibility and a tactic she might use in eps 7 and 8.

Perhaps, she might be slowly getting posessed by Absolute Solver? Yes, possible. But then why is she still trying to get to the labs? Doll believes that down in the labs she might find something to help her with the Absolute Solver and perhaps help Uzi too. But wait, how the frick is THIS:

HELPING?! Give me a sec. Let's say, yes Doll was the one that created the mirage of Tessa (because we honestly have no other leads, or ones that I can think/see of right now). That might have been her attempt at luring Uzi in to work together.

Doll has strong vengeance against disassembly drones, so she wants nothing to do with them. But she appears to not mind helping Uzi... but Uzi hangs out with disassembly drones all the time. So best way to lure her in would have been using Tessa- a figure she's never seen, and an absolute solver hand- which she has seen. But she fails to lure Uzi in because V distracts her.

Then why did Doll partner up with Tessa? Tessa had J at her side, a disassembly drone. How about we narrow it down even further. Doll only teamed up with Tessa and J because a certain someone wasn't there. And once she appeared, Doll booked it. Yup, it was V. When Doll saw that all three knew each other, she wanted nothing to do with the gang anymore. Even further, the moment Doll released all the sentinels, she was still trying to get V back for murdering her family. And ouch, uh, Doll why. That moment had me sobbing, excuse you.

So in Doll's eyes, she's helping Uzi. In our eyes, she's antagonizing the group and not letting them get to the labs.

Wow, I veered off course real quick. But my point stands. As much as I'd like to think that the image of Tessa was created by Doll, it's a 50/50 shot. But you know who we still haven't seen? That miiiiight have made the image of Tessa?

Oooop, hello, howdy, hey. I know a stretch, but I've got nothing else honestly. Doll might be pulling a Nori moment, where she was briefly posessed by Absolute Solver enough to cause a hologram of Tessa, or just tapped into the Absolute Solver's hive mind to see what it knows thus far.

As per usual, feel free to gut my theory... or rant? Idk what this turned into.

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md-confessions · 5 days

Note

Trigger Warning for abuse since I am going to be talking about it a lot.

My honest reaction to TSM anon's confessions/posts trying to justify J's treatment of N. (They're so ass)

Ok so uhh... Anyway I'll try to debunk some of the points:

First of all: yes the fuck she is abusive! Search the damn definition on Google or the dictionary, it's exactly what she's doing, like beat for beat.

Let's start with two examples: one from the manor and another from copper-9.

J kicking N in the manor flashback: for context N and V had literally just bumped into each other, made a spark and both were trying to clean up the mess they made, then comes in Ms. Tenth letter of the alphabet with a kick to N's face for like no fucking reason whatsoever.

J stepping on N's chest while he clearly struggles: In the pilot during the scene that introduces the Alphabet squad during J's introduction she has her foot on his chest while saying he's useless, terrible and if she could, she'd kill him herself and N is very clearly struggling to even breath.

Those two very clearly ARE abuse, the second one even has a tinge of verbal abuse!

Ok so TSM tried to justify both these actions by us not knowing the full context.

The context of the kick is that: there is none, that kick was completely unprovoked, so J had absolutely no reason for kicking N aside from him being in her way from the "move it moron" line, and she changes up her attitude completely at Tessa being there, her visor showing those hollow eyes that drones show when worried or scared.

But even if you say "oh but N was in J's way so she kicked him out" but she could have just, you know, MOVED A LITTLE BIT TO THE RIGHT?!?!? And also that does not excuse kicking a person in the face.

Context of the second scene is: THERE IS NONE, ONE AGAIN! The reason that scene exists is to show that A. J is abusive towards N, and B. J is a hypocrite! Let me explain, A is very self explanatory, stepping on someone's chest and verbally abusing them is very clearly well... Abuse and B is to show that even though she calls N useless, N has shown throughout the rest of the series he is a very competent fighter, arguably better than his fellow DDs and also that even though J was pretty much insulting N for being weak, she got killed by a Angsty bisexual 18-year-old with a pen and a Railgun made out of like, scrap.

I don't know how you can genuinely look at those scenes and go "J isn't an abuser" even though yes she fucking is.

Also I dead ass forgot that second post aside from the "why would Cyn put N in the squad if his abuser?" Part, which has a very simple explanation: it wasn't Cyn, it was Mr. Solver of the absolute fabric itself! It used Cyn as a host, Cyn wasn't in control, she prob has been dead for a long ass time.

The solver is sadistic and it likes fucking with the alphabet squad, take V as an example: it allowed V to keep her memories, just to make V's trauma even worse.

The solver thinks it's funny to traumatize people so why wouldn't it think putting a person in the same team as their abuser wouldn't be?

Anyways I've been typing this since 5:30 AM, and now it's 6:50 and I got school so I'll stop here, if you got anything else to add put it in the reblogs ig...

Final note: I haven't been abused myself (not that I remember) so I can't really fully grasp the concept, but still, J's treatment of N is like, the dictionary definition of Abuse, I'm very bad at understanding other people and their emotions and I'm not super great at analysing characters but this shit is so obviously abuse seeing TSM over here trying to say otherwise is giving me a brain aneurysm.

Anyways have a good day/evening/night or whatever time of day it is :D

#md confessions #murder drones #abuse cw #serial designation j #serial designation n #serial designation v #md cyn #the absolute solver

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missveryvery · 11 months

Text

FengQing dynamics, book vs fan interpretation, General Thoughts about Clown Generals:

Mostly me trying to stare at canon and figure out what these dumbasses think about each other and what their actual relationship is, what's actually written instead of my hopes and dreams for clown love.

we all keep writing/drawing Mu Qing being the mean one and Feng Xin as the nice one but....Feng Xin is the one that relentlessly says horrible things to him, usually unprovoked.

Feng Xin's insults:

That he hates him, that he never wants to see him again, that he's lying, that whenever he sees him doing something it absolutely must be for personal/nefarious reasons, that he's happy when xl does crimes, he's untrustworthy, that he's always scheming, that he thinks he's better than he is, that he wouldn't be where he is without Xie Lian.

Mu Qing's insults are:

that Feng Xin is just as "disloyal" as him for leaving. Basically, his usual argument is "you are just as bad as me." This is his big thing, arguably his only thing.

He maybe thinks the bathhouse is Feng Xin's fault, like he took them somewhere perverted on purpose

His statues? whack.

Says Feng Xin made a big deal about nothing about Xie Lian stealing.

I'm wracking my brain here because a lot of them aren't personal insults so much as making fun of him for something rather than saying he's a bad person. Like he tells Xie Lian about the Ju Yang thing. That's not something Feng Xin did wrong, it's something embarrassing that happened to Feng Xin.

Here's one:

Actually, rereading this, I wonder if he meant Xie Lian...? Since that's the person who they felt like couldn't tell who was a ghost. And Feng Xin has always been able to discern ghostness so far so that seems weirdly specific. Which is nuts because I think we all feel like Mu Qing should insult his intelligence all the time (Feng Xin isn't as dumb as I wish he was, though so...)

I'm extremely guilty of all of this, to be clear. And I don't know why. Sometimes I carefully have Feng Xin realize he was awful and be apologetic, sometimes deal with it.

But probably most of the time, offhandedly, I'm like "Ah yes mq wouldn't catch him in a trust fall", which is something I just saw on my dash. when it's demonstrably, literally untrue, right?

They would both catch each other without hesitation. They literally do! Even when it's at a great risk to themselves!

I think the difference is what they think will happen:

Mu Qing, idk I could go either way. He might know that Feng Xin will catch him because Feng Xin is Like That. Or he might think it's a big question mark.

By Tong'lu he says something to the effect that he's running from them because they'll just kill him if they get ahold of him. But by then things have been escalating. Feng Xin hit him during the avalanche thing off screen and Mu Qing was surprised by it and asked why he'd hit him. We saw Feng Xin punch him before (after ghost city arc), but Mu Qing wasn't confused as to why that time. In other words, normally he might completely trust him but the events of the book threw everything out the window.

But I can't say for sure what Mu Qing would think would happen.

Weirdly, Feng Xin's response is the more complicated one.

Feng Xin does NOT think Mu Qing will or has serious doubts. Except...that's just what he'll verbalize. Literally what happens in the book, he gives no visible indication that he even remotely believes Mu Qing's explanations at Tong'lu.

It's only after Mu Qing suddenly disappears that the narrator tells us that he wasn't as convinced of Mu Qing 's guilt as he acted. He was just pissed and being an asshole. Mu Qing's disappearance is what actually shakes Feng Xin's belief in Mu Qing.

They have another argument earlier about JL:

-Feng Xin assumes the worst

-Mu Qing explains

-Feng Xin backs down for the moment (and goes to have a nervous breakdown)

-but when he sees him again he starts attacking him (avalanche scene), and this fight is bad enough that they've actually pulled weapons on each other

-This fight/argument continues until Hua Cheng shows up and they have bigger things to worry about

Then we have this:

Feng Xin's pattern might be:

Get mad, assume the worst, say things he doesn't mean, eventually calms down about it/acts like it's fine.

There are a couple times where he's argued into shutting up. It's just that he will bring that thing out, that he has been acting like he calmed down about and accepted, when he's mad.

I think he actually does at least subconsciously believe an Mu Qing Explanation PowerPoint. Why? Because that's what his overall behavior reflects. Or, even if, let's say he doesn't believe anything Mu Qing says ever, thinks he's the fucking worst: he still goes on little adventures with him and hangs out with him.

He doesn't suffer people he dislikes very much, does he? He doesn't even want Xie Lian to hang out with Hua Cheng! He's very "don't associate with those kinds of people." Actually, basically everything you "know" about Feng Xin, is not quite accurate by the end of the book, just like it is with Mu Qing.

Anyway, he still happily puts Xie Lian in a dress with Mu Qing. That's basically the definition of a sworn brother.

But at the end of the day, even though I think this is all very shitty behavior on Feng Xin's part and jail for Feng Xin, jail for Feng Xin for One Thousand Years, their relationship is something Mu Qing likes. He cares what he thinks about him. He doesn't want Feng Xin to think badly of him. Despite Feng Xin being the least generous person with benefit of the doubt, he still defends himself with him and the only other person he does that with is Xie Lian. Everyone else he's accepted he can't do anything about.

Like they must be having good times together that they both find worthwhile or they wouldn't be together. He must find things about him that he values.

Best guess is: he admires Feng Xin's selflessness and devotion to "what's right", the same way he thinks Xie Lian is cool. He wants to be around these two people. These are also the aspects he fucking hates the most and says are stupid and pointless and will get you killed. He hates this behavior, he rants about it, he is horrified by it, and yet he is someone who does it over and over and over again. And it always comes back to bite him in the ass.

As for what Feng Xin likes about Mu Qing...I don't know. Like I can't even guess. He likes the Queen a lot who is gentle and kind hearted and he likes the bravery and toughness of JL. He idolizes Xie Lian. But at no point does he assert Mu Qing is anything but the opposite of those people. Even when he has evidence to the contrary he forgets it or dismisses it. So I really have no idea what a canon reason is for him to like Mu Qing.

Maybe he thinks "I'll go with him because it seems fun or interesting" and "I have to protect him" and doesn't consciously attribute any part of that to Mu Qing.

It's possible he doesn't actually like him, as much as I hate to admit it, this would be mind-numbingly realistic for a guy that doesn't like thinking deeply about things. I think a lot of people don't think too deeply about friendship, because most of the time it's about familiarity and proximity and availability. We both like this activity, you're the person I know, we do it together. I'm sure you've met people, even married couples, that when it comes down to it don't actually like each other, they're just together out of familiarity and habit.

I do wonder what it would have been like if Mu Qing had died, that's kind of the usual outcome for a character like this, I feel like I rarely see in an adult book where a character like this has a suicide mission and then is ok or not, idk, very fucked up by it at least.

I do think they're friends, canonically, but I think their relationship is very unlike what we're used to seeing. But I also think mirrors closely a lot of relationships you see in real life, especially with dudes who hang out but don't figure out a Very Important Subject Ever.

Mostly this was just me making notes to myself and then I thought I'd share.

#tgcf meta #fengqing #feng xin #mu qing #xie lian #I added alt text this time like a good human being

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