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moongothic · 4 months

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Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.

At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little

You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)

Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right

So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?

Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)

Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)

Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass

Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)

My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?

Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO

So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.

Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.

Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))

But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...

Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.

But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.

But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)

Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.

The only question is, how would Robin take that?

Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good

So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.

Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.

And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.

What's she going to do?

EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #Crocodad #Nico Robin #THIS POST WAS AN ACCIDENT. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED. WHY DID I WRITE THIS. WHAT DEMON POSSESSED ME #I'm sure someone's written this already right #Right #Surely this fanfic already exists #Please tell me it exists #I dunno what to tell you I am not immune to a Juicy AU #Anyway on a more wholesome side of things: Robin accidentally calling Crocodile ''dad'' and he just inhales and swallows his whole cigar #Nearly chockes to death. Gets burns on his throat.#Robin feeling less alienated because of her DF ability because Croc has seen weirder AND is made of sand himself #If anything if they're literally by themselves then Robin being able to literally lend a hand to Croc at any time could be extremely useful #Like. In regular life situations. 'Cause Croc only has one hand. And Robin as many as she wants. Perfect duo.#(Also if they were travelling on like a small ship then it'd probably be built for a Tall Motherfucker like Croc right)#(Robin's ability would just make the ship more accessible to her and Croc would find that independence good)#Robin still gets a codename because Croc can't have anyone realize who she is. Maybe she even wears like a mask or summin' in public #If Crocodile's openly trans and the news of him transitioning recently broke out. Like. No avoiding that convo eh #Baby Robin's like ''...I read in a book once that some reptiles can change sex but I didn't know crocodiles could do it too''#''💦.../Humans/ can't do that normally either''#''Hmmmm. Weird. I don't think being a girl would suit you though'' // ''...I'll take that as a compliment''#I just. I think they could have really cute interactions if they warmed up to each other after a little while #And I'm Extremely Normal about that

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rawliverandgoronspice · 9 months

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behold: my least favorite string of words in the entirety of Tears of the Kingdom.

#totk critical #totk #tloz #gerudos #when will my brain return from the imprisoning war....#I just stumbled upon it again doing research yesterday and....#there's so many layers as to why it aggravates me #that it's spoken from the perspective of a masked woman as to embody all gerudos while removing her own identity #in the context of her loyalty to rauru as well #that giving birth to a bad man makes you responsible for his actions (he's not a toddler anymore he's an adult ok)#or more metaphorically that your initial conflict with hyrule makes you Sinful and cursed and you must Feel Bad Now *shame shame*#that she's passing on that ageless guilt with no expiration date onto the shoulders of *a teenager* and it's considered GOOD???#(wind waker shaking crying right now)#ALL OF THAT to prop her up to swear her loyalty to the people planning to go murder their ancient king (sure he's a Bad but still???)#using some sort of weird ass original sin scenario that is arguably not any gerudo's fault but Ganondorf's #(or if it is then it's not shown so ???)#the vibes are so so so off I just really !!!!! don't like #this is stuff like this that makes me reject that it's a good story about alliances being formed in good faith #because this is just manipulative #maybe the alliance angle everyone's stronger together was the intention but the execution is another story entirely #gerudos never benefited from ganondorf's actions also #so it's not even a case of making reparations for the way you benefit from systemic oppression due to your ancestor's actions #gerudos won literally nothing in ganondorf's war #apparently he even subjugated them if they weren't on his side (like.... a king would.... not to excuse it but the double standard here)#so it just instrumentalizes the ageless sin of motherhood + suffering under a bad monarch billion of years ago for war #so uhhh.... yeah that's not... that's pretty bad imo #the gerudo girl could have went “hey girl this man used us and still hurt us to this day let's kick his ass once and for all”#and this would have been a different story entirely #a little cheap but not.... That Bad

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kicktwine · 5 months

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oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock #if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died #sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak #she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not #to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now #this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky #Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves #the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions #so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is #just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed #anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o #weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot #it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting #she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct #just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close #my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s #HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet #too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed #very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun #and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’#I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me #LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya #It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions—#I’m not done let me s #she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH

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ursae-miinoris · 7 months

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i haven't posted anything in so long sorry LOL anyways i think she's cool

#art #pokemon #ogerpon #the teal mask #teal mask spoilers #?#pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon sv #why did i use so many sv tags in the past #anyways.. first time drawing her #she's so silly

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summertimemusician · 7 months

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Linktober Shadow Day 8

Majora('s Mask)

*throws bouquet of roses* For the Time lovers.

Also my bias is probably coming through really strongly right now, but I'm not well rested enough to care plus I've been playing Majora's Mask a lot again this month, it's as important to me as Twilight Princess so this is kind of my love letter to it and Time and my excuse to explore the concept of Majora and the Fierce Deity and divinity in LoZ, though that's an essay for another day lol (/j)

As always can be read as romantic or platonic depending on your preferences, Reader is gender neutral and this is definitely self indulgent so it can be read in or outside of an LU context, most of the references to the LU names are for simplicity and to give a rough idea of why Reader has some stuff they do. Makes it easier to clarify lol, though as I've been hit by yet another storm the Linktober prompt will be for tomorrow, I'm basically picking a god and praying this actually posts X_X

TW(?):

Don't think there's any warnings besides MJM's typical body horror really, and very graphic descriptions and Majora in general.

Even after so, so long, so much so it feels like a lifetime ago, Termina still stuck with you and Time.

The thing about being in a timeloop that went on for who knows how long and whose failure to reset it would be total destruction to so many good different people, is that you quickly learn some habits to try and maximize as many successes as possible, how Time (Mask, then, after the living nightmare of Termina, during the War of Ages, still Link though) quickly learned the location of each enemy he could, how you learned to call out the best way to quickly assess and take down an enemy as quickly as possible, how you both learned to watch each other’s backs and to care for the people and Termina to the point Link went from just a warrior to a healer, granted the trust of holding the crystalization of the hopes and dreams of the people of Termina that, even if they couldn’t remember it, wanted the cycle to end, wanted to hunt the threat to reality itself and purge it from the world. To bite down onto it’s neck and feel the thrill and glee and cutting down such an opponent.

Most importantly, after bleeding, crying, sweating and toiling against the unrelenting flow of time and insanity all brought upon by a lonely child being left alone and manipulated to commit heinous acts as ‘pranks’. It taught you and Time the importance of contingency plans, and about always, always being prepared for any and all situations, unlikely as they could be. Of taking through note of even the smallest detail that caught your eyes at a glance.

‘To defeat an abomination, you need one of two things: A deity, or a monster.’, you think cynically to yourself, stepping over Time’s fallen form as Warriors bolted over with blizzard forged fury in his cold, calculated movements to defend him in your stead as you called Hyrule over, the young man quickly starting to heal your Hero as you glare down at the disgusting stain on reality engaging Twilight and Wild all at once, gleeful at having watched the person you adored the most fall, bringing out the ultimate contingency from your cloak, you hadn’t even told him about it, because you prayed you’d never need to resort to this, ‘… Forgive me, Link. The first option isn’t doable here.’

Time was your everything, you knew how his story ended, with so much grief until he finally met Twilight again. You tried, you really did, to not allow yourself to love him but it was impossible because he was Link, the man who longed for adventure ever since he was young, embodying the freedom of the forest of life and death that made up the whole of Faron Woods and the Lost Woods and as steady as it’s moors, voice quiet and calm like a stream in the woods and with and with a smile to rival the warm sun and so, so heartbreakingly kind. Who protected and saved and healed people while slowly healing his own soul and who attempted to soothe his descendant’s pain the second he could even from beyond the grave.

And you’d be darned if you allowed anything to take him from you or the boys before his time without a fight. You couldn’t care less if he would eventually die as he was destined to in every timeline, it didn’t matter if it was futile, because he mattered, you loved him, and you’d keep him safe and happy for as long as you could.

It didn’t matter if one day tragedy will catch up to him, it mattered that he was loved while alive.

Even if you had to step on fire to make sure of it.

“Twilight, Wild. Step away.”, the edges of the spikes of the purple and crimson mask that haunted your nightmares as much as it did Time’s, it leered at you with it’s arsenic and pus eyes, picking apart at your weaknesses as it’s spikes dug into your hand as you tightened your grip to keep if from shaking. Tone falsely confident as you called to the Hero of Twilight and Wild to retreat.

(‘To defeat an abomination, you need a deity or a monster.’

The definition is awfully interchangeable, if you look at it.

You had found it, abandoned and in a dungeon Wind’s Era, not quite awake, but not asleep either. The eldritch hunger almost chocking you with it’s voracity, the darkness assessing, stalking, prowling and starving, it prodded at you but didn’t dig yet. It knew how to play the long game in it’s quest to stop feeling empty.

Funny thing is, so did you. You were a lot harder to break than the Skull Kid, would not break.

Majora wanted to cease, like how it had ceased before the Terminan Tribe ripped it from it’s slumber, taught it hunger, taught it cruelty, taught it how to manipulate and take amusement in consuming the wishes of mortals and their very souls only to never be satisfied. Had fueled it with wrath from being ripped from a lovely, endless dream of beautiful songs and a kind soul. To be torn from it’s fantasy and then left to rot.

You offered to grant it a proper rest. And so a deal was struck. Your one contingency if the situation was truly dire, in case you couldn’t get the Fierce Deity Mask instead -because you knew how Link was, he’d burn himself out until there was naught but ash. You refused to let it ever come to that, after his excruciating screams of pain had clawed an aching, hurtful place into your very soul-, and Majora was starving and desperate, a dangerous combination for any being but something you could use.

So be it, if to protect divinity you needed to become a monstrosity, a monster was what you’d be.

You’d keep him safe. And you knew that if the Fierce Deity put him down once, he could do it again in case you slipped. Between him and Sky you weren’t afraid at all of the risk.

Even if Time never forgave you for taking it.)

You smile bitterly, tearing up in spite of yourself as you see the second Time spots you and the cursed artifact in hand, eye wide, voice ripping from his throat in desperation, “I’m quite selfish, I’m sorry.”

His haunted expression cuts you deeper than any knife, as you knew it was an image that featured in many of your nightmares and his own. But you’re insatiable for his happiness, so you take the plunge.

“NO NO NO NO DON’T-“

You put on the mask, and you scream.

It’s like stepping on fire, a twisted, desperate tune, a note of discord, a belt of harmony and fury and most importantly, the mighty need to consume the one who had tried to take the one you loved away from you.

Defy death, defy entropy, defy chaos, defy flame and voracity.

You cling to your self control with a snarl, howling in defiance. Sinking your nails into the abyss’ throat and biting, tearing, holding, tasting rot and withered flowers and the writhing of shadows and the blood of distorted gluttonousdivinity on your tongue with savagery equal to the way the demon sinks it's spikes onto you. Chew on it’s tender, rotting flesh, quaff down the lukewarm pus of it’s heart and the rust of blood as it bites off your skin, stripping your mind into chunks as it nests into your ribs like the spikes of wild, dead roses when it finds your mind tougher to break and you BURN YOU ARE LIFE YOU ARE CHAOS AND YOU ARE DROWNING AND YOU ARE FLAME-

You move, and Majora’s laugh sounds like a scream and a song as reality howls.

Your bones, sinew, muscles, nerves, veins and teeth are reformed, the being pounces, dancing, swerving, whipping, cleaving, ripping and feeding into the monsters with putrid, revolting gusto. Whenever it’s attention even tries to waver towards the Heroes you sink your hold in harder, stubborn, you’re sure there’s blood dripping from your mouth beneath the mask, your eyes, your ears, as it reaches a crescendo of glee and pain. A human body isn’t meant to hold so much divinity at once, much less as wretched and horrific as Majora’s, but you don’t care, can’t care, when you’re holding onto yourself like a vice, refusing to give it even a single inch.

It doesn’t kill Dark Link, the bastard (the one who’d hurt Time, the one who would have finished him off if not for you and Warriors). But the screech the Shadow releases as it gets ripped to shreds and the ripple of it’s retreating form is enough to make you partially agree with Majora’s vicious, amused glee that it was satisfying. Even if the feeling of you allowing it to utilize your skin temporarily felt revolting and disgusting in a way it made you wish you were actually on fire, not just in so much pain in a metaphysical level that it sure rivaled being set on fire, frost burned and lightning struck all in one go.

All is still now, all is silent.

Now comes the difficult part.

'Are you quite sure?', whispers Majora, crooning like nails on chalkboards, and it’s spikes sink into you tighter when you grip the sides of it, teeth gritted as you start prying it out of your face, amused by your defiance, but no longer as hungry. You did allow it quite the meal, you bet nothing like fellow divinity tastes better to the being, like the taste of a forbidden fruit you were going to be unfortunately acquainted given you’re sure Dark Link’s blood is on your teeth.

'Yes.' comes your faint response, as your sanity frays in fragile threads, you think someone calls your name, but you are drowning, you are burning, and you know that if you don’t focus it will break you. And you’d be fully dead before you let that happen. If you’re going to die you’re going to die as a human.

'Tou are so, so cold… So cruel.' It drawls, the demon’s voice like the gnawing of rats, like maggots under you skin, you convulse, falling to your knees with a wounded keen and pull harder, you barely noticed someone falling by your side, frantically calling your name, but the mask’s eyes dim to an outsider’s perspective, resigned as it hums dreamily, 'I suppose that’s why The Divine Hunter cares for you so, why it’s vessel’s claim is so strong.'

Good, you were banking on it being sleepy, after gorging yourself on the enemy of your boys, Hylia’s gash and Din’s assets your mouth is going to taste putrid for months isn’t it?

Majora hisses, growls, howls and screeches, a brush against your essence as it retreats. Unwinding from every single cell of your body, distorting your atoms back to their proper shape. It still hurts, buy it’s more bearable, although you quickly notice you’re chocking on a different form of Divinity, more possessive, more wild but just as old and ferocious as it snaps at the retreating heels of the twisted, chaotic thorns. Making reality remember your own shape quicker at the cost of filling every crack consumed by the demon.

You swear that thing is smiling smugly at something else, teeth bared and very entertained, taking the suffering of the people of Termina and the cold revulsion in your veins with it as it retreats with it's cacaphony of voices to the shade, 'A shame. Feasting more would be delightful, but very well. We trust that though you hurt today, tomorrow you’ll make sure we head on our way.'

You don’t have the mind or heart to say anything else to it, for it grows silent as the spikes rip from the sides of your face, you bite of a tortured yell as the spikes rip off chunks of skin and flesh, clawing at the ground with, thankfully, soothing, perfectly regular fingers and nails, albeit cracked, you feel someone take their hand in yours, and you crack open an eye, carefully aware of the blood dripping down your face from the half removal of the heart shaped mask and the thrum of thunder replacing the cold in your veins with boiling, protective warmth.

Time.

“You shouldn’t be up already.”, you rasp, looking over his wounded form, healed by Hyrule, you shakily take your left hand to keep prying at the Majora’s Mask, only for him to take it gently in yours, you taste blood, the petrichor of the Lost Woods mist and pine on the back of your mouth, chasing the rot of Majora away.

“It’s nothing, we both know I’ve had worse.” He says, firmly shaking his head. His scarred eye is open, ivory like bone, the markings more vibrant and prominent with the ferocity of a god, he looks tired, and you attempt to speak, to apologize, to voice your worry because you knew channeling the deity without a conduit was a bad idea, before coughing, shaking from the aftermath of your reckless, reckless plan.

(You unfortunately can’t say you regret it much, though, when you silently bear the combined brunt of Time and Fierce Deity’s care once you reach camp and the protective way they act towards you. Even though Majora is long gone much to your resigned exasperation, and the rest of your boys amusement, but that is for much, much later.)

Time gently hums, it rings through you like thunder as he holds you close, tapping your neck in a rhythm you could recognize in your sleep for when he was about to pull arrows, blades or shrapnel from your skin, or was ready to have it done to himself, you immediately loosen yourself as much as possible, gripping his hand tightly as he rips the rest of the Majora’s Mask off, inert and lifeless as when you’ve both woke up from a new day, he holds you close as you try to breathe, reassuring himself you’re still here, “Don’t you ever scare me like that again. Please.” He pleads, begs, prays. He can't lose you too.

And you can’t help it, you smile as you cry crimson and russet tones from your eyes, holding him back as close as you dare to. He doesn’t hate you, you’re sure you’re going to soon participate in the argument of a lifetime. But Link doesn’t hate you, doesn’t see you as a monster any more than you could ever see him as anything but the kind companion you always knew.

So you let yourself nod, helpless to say no to him for anything really. And allow yourself to breathe, you’re both going to be alright.

#linked universe x reader #linked universe time x reader #lu time x reader #also know as Reader Going All in on their Feral Arc on my docs lol #this makes reference to Majora's story in fhe manga before it became a mask.#and basically has some of my many many thoughts about why it evolved the way it did and it's effects #even though all the original version of it as a demon was basically one long nap lol #The Majora's Mask adapts depending on who's wearing it and in this essay I will-#Majora: So what's in it for me if I indulge your little mortal whims?#Reader who us willing to do anything for the Links and Time: Free food entertainment and a nap?#Majora after seeing it can annoy Fierce Deity in one go too: Deal #They're both analogue and aspects to each other and are so mad about it. Majora wasn't gonna to pass that up lol #Mortals holding divinity when they aren't vessels explicitly created for it has consequences in LoZ and that's reflected here #kind of #Fierce Deity x Reader #? albeit very mildly and through Time's care #Fierce Deity doesn't like sharing his vessel or the rest of the Chain with other deities and that extends to Reader #They basically gave them the metaphysical equivalent of a hose down in a lab to avoid contamination #and replaced all of the energy it put in there with his own to make a point and to help with the strain #I have so many thoughts about Time and about this stuff lol #Majora. Appreciating Reader's unhinged defiance: I like this one. FD growling: Back off my vessel has had dibs for years #summer writes linktober shadow 2023 #summer writes #and now I crash lol #Also friendly reminder that the Majora's Mask is MIA in Wind Waker and was never exorcised in the Downfall line #just throwing that out there

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maxellminidisc · 10 months

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Truly and genuinely so cruel that so many of you don't realize how much misogyny is embedded in your biphobia towards bi women. Like its astounding how y'all excuse misogyny just to get your shots in at us/them. So many people talk a big game about supporting people with issues of abuse in relationships but then in the same breathe you guys will shit on bi women who trust you enough to share their relationship issues and blame it all on them for being in a relationship with a man to begin with, you reduce the issues to "well you're stupid enough or desperate enough to date a man" or "well you wont stop liking your boyfriend". It's so funny how all that talk flies right out of your ass as long as a woman is bisexual and dating a man.

Y'all need to a realize, that abusive or not, all women in relationships with men still deserve some level of empathy and understanding. I'm not saying you need to always excuse women in their relationships but at least take the time to be considerate of the fact that many many women who are in relationships with men have not been given the proper tools to understand or perceive misogyny and especially abuse in their own relationships as a result. You think shitting on women who may not realize a lot of what they're going through in their relationships is misogyny and even abuse, are going to feel compelled to leave, learn, or have the right tools to arm themselves against the misogyny of their partners with you essentially victim blaming them???

It's even in the blatantly biphobic and misogynistic language y'all use against bi women too, in how you reduce bi women as mindless puppets and enablers of their boyfriends by mere virtue of dating them, having love for them, or having the gaul to talk to you, a person they trust, about them. Like idk why a lot of biphobic people cannot be assed to extend any kind of thought let alone empathy towards bi women, especially given how many of us in the community have been in relationships that may not have been good for us regardless of our partners gender, we talk even JOKE about this shit all the time!! But because a woman is bi and her partner is a man, suddenly it's no longer time to grant someone empathy or understanding? Make it make sense, cause the only thing I'm getting out of that is misogyny and biphobia.

#literally why in becoming increasingly wary of the jakey jokes cause some of yall are taking here #youre using it as a mask for you biphobia and so many people are not catching on #just literally saw some shit that is exactly this that set me off #bi tag

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dykevanny · 4 months

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Can i talk abt cassie’s dad protag or would y’all crucify me,

#I have thoughts #i think it’s him but i also think hes dead or at least like.stuck in vr somehow #Vanessa using the vanny disguise lured him here to help her get rid of glitchtrap…….#Why did she need him.well do you really think her ass wants ANYWHERE NEAR GLITCHTRAP AND VR AFTER ALL THAT..#No ofc not! And it’s less suspicious to faz ent if it’s a technician walking around in a technician mask yk. Instead of the nightguard who #Was there the night everything got destroyed and stuff #You get me? Idk #Any way. I think it’s neat #I love cassie gregory and vanessa so much but<3 I’ve been trying to see this thing from many different angles and i think cassie’s dad make #Sense actually. Explains why he had to suddenly leave cassie alone not knowing when he’d be back yk #Idk idk. Don’t kill me

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iolypse · 1 year

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okay so I've seen people debating whether chayanne would have blond or black hair, but have we considered that he's got strawberry brown hair? that one brownish-reddish shade that looks a little pink in the right lighting, you know the one.

if this is not agreeable, I'd say the kid is naturally blond but he dyes it black and when it fades, he lets it stay blond for a while til he gets tired and dyes it black again. maybe sometimes he experiments with it and does just the tips or just a few streaks black, whatever he feels like doing at the time.

#qsmp #qsmp chayanne #qsmp philza #qsmp missa #I Will work in a way for this kid to be even more like techno don't fucking test me #he's got the skull mask from qmissa like how so many people drew techno with a boar skull mask #he's got the spirit and the skills of a fighter #why don't we just cave and give him pink hair too huh #what's stopping us

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noodle-shenaniganery · 1 year

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Sometimes, I think it’s really important to remember/understand that you (general you, not talking to anyone specific) will not be able to connect to everyone’s experiences. And that’s okay.

Specifically in the context of autism, there’s the crucial truth that autism is a broad, chaotic spectrum. People who have low support needs will never be able to fully understand what it’s like to have high support needs, people who can speak will never be able to fully understand what it’s like to be nonspeaking, etc. So please, don’t say that you do because sometimes you have bad days, or because sometimes you lose the capability to speak. Autistic individuals that are more marginalized than others oftentimes face the worst of the violence and discrimination. They deserve to not have their struggles minimized by autistic people who don’t understand what it’s like to be like them.

And this understanding should go both ways, too. Different people will have differing experiences, and so they will need different communities. Autistic people who have high masking capabilities and are experiencing burnout will not be able to relate well to autistic people who can’t mask much/at all and wish they could. Those two groups need different communities. This isn’t to say that those two groups should never interact and ignore each other, as that never ends well, but having different struggles means that you will find comfort in different groups.

Have a nice day, and lets be kind to one another, yeah?

(If I said anything that’s wrong, hard to understand, ignorant, or that you simply disagree with, please let me know! This also goes for anything important that I may have left out. Oh, and any grammar mistakes I may have made.)

#I don’t quite understand why so many seem to have problems with this #maybe I don’t have as many problems with this because I’m already used to not being to relate to others well #lower levels of empathy and all that #autism spectrum disorder #asd #autism #actually autistic #autistic #be kind #just be kind #nonspeaking #nonverbal #masking #low support needs #high support needs

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transpanda-1 · 15 days

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Is there any way to parse the difference between DID and something like maladaptive/immersive day dreaming?

I guess I'm kinda...questioning ish? I feel like I have a coherent sense of self but like its...blank or like clay.

I learned about Internal Family Systems Therapy a while back and reading into it really resonated with me and how I tend to talk to myself and see myself in parts. Ordinarily there is like enough of a difference between my sense of self and parts that like I can maintain myself but lately it's just kinda breaking down a bit and eroding, like sometimes "me" is just a set of behaviors I've learned to mask.

But if I lean into it far the other way and treat the parts as alters it feels so...hollow? Like they aren't that much diffrent than me. Neither outcome feels right and I worry it's just me getting immersed in my own imagination.

Whats the difference between a daydreamer that talks to themselves and somone with internal alters?

🧵Hello anon! Apologies for the delay on our response.

This is unfortunately a tough answer. To be honest, the only one who can fully determine if you're plural or not is you. There are certainly some people who are singlets who daydream a lot, and the same for systems as well.

We can do the "Thank you for existing test" if you manage to identify any names that pop out to you?

We relate to the "alters so much like you" sentiment. We're an OSDD median system, so it just feels like we "transform" into alters that aren't that different from the rest of us personality wise. A part of our journey with plurality has been learning to accept that we're all a bit alike, considering we have so much shared experience and memory.

One thing we will say that helps is giving yourself (or selves) an environment where you can test this out! Try out being plural around a friend or simply someone you can trust with this info, it may help you more than you'd think!

And regardless if you turn out plural or singlet, thank you for existing!!!

#asks #we hope that answer was satisfying unfortunately it is a matter of 'you just kinda gotta keep going at it to figure it out' ;^^#we will say the fact you're considering it might be DID in of itself is technically a sign it could be.#One thing we'll note is that what helped us realize our plurality #was a character who wore many character's faces like masks . So her inside was 'hollow'#at the time that resonated a lot with us and it began to make us think more and more about why we related to her #a fictional character can help to!#find something plural like yugioh or kingdom hearts 2 idk ohoho #🧵Smoothie💙#chirps #plurality #ask

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dyketubbo · 2 months

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deleted a few posts mostly because after thinking about it some more i do still think that theres a focus from many of these creators on having a sort of clapback response where they denounce wilbur but dont actively support shubble (i dont know if shubble is fine with people who arent her friends using her actual name so im just saying shubble) and while its good to denounce wilbur i dont think they should be praised when they havent put in the effort to publically show support to shubble.

at the same time, shubble is clearly touched by the responses and they clearly feel supported by their friends who had also, on a surface level to us, seemed to just be responding to wilbur without uplifting shubble. i do think theres a need to stay critical. some of these creators do very likely care more about dunking on the abuser than they do actively supporting the victim and making sure you dont fall into blindly supporting anyone who can make a snappy comeback is good

at the same time being critical means realizing theres a lot more to this than "anyone who waited for wilbur to say something must not have believed shubble and mustve been complicit" considering responses like billzos and sophies, as well as shubble themself saying that "not wanting to" is not why she didnt name wilbur. billzo admits to being scared of wilbur. sophie said wilbur made her feel small. theres clips of wilbur hurting and scaring his friends and making light of how he does so

a part of what sophie talked about was how wilbur would make light of how he abused her. he wasnt worried that he was hurting her, and he even pointed out that it looked like abuse. shubbles incredibly brave for speaking up. but that doesnt mean anyone else who didnt until now was complicit.

a lot of wilburs "jokes" look worse in retrospect because.. thats what happens when you go through abuse, or when you have a shitty friend. you start to realize more and more how they were hurting you and got away with it because they shrugged it off either as a joke or just as part of who they are (shubble actively pointed out that wilbur would dismiss his behavior as "just who he is")

those who just want to get a dunk in shouldnt be praised. those who really do stay quiet or do the bare minimum should be scrutinized. always keep an eye out for suspicious behavior no matter where you go. lexie talked about her own abuse within that circle of creators and the very fact that there were two people being abused within the same circle is horrible. but keep an eye out for any creator. keep an eye out within any community, even your own. its not just the men in brighton. its not just minecraft creators. abusers and toxic friends are everywhere, and silence can be complacency but it can also be fear

dont blame yourself if you didnt see the signs before. but take it as a sign to keep an eye out. and remember we cant see everything behind the scenes. you never really know everything going on. its getting increasingly clear that wilbur mistreated a lot of people in his life and like. idk im making an emotional post because this shit sucks a lot and like weve said before this is a topic very personal to us as an abuse victim and one whose had many toxic friends

shubble feels supported. she has a community and ultimately it is still amazing to see how many people are denouncing wilbur and its amazing to see the people who do show support to shubble herself. support for lexie is slowly but surely getting there as well. i think this is a sign that while horrible things will always happen that the community is slowly but surely getting better at responding. and i hope anyone else who was scared of or mistreated by wilbur is able to think back on that and realize it was awful and find their peace as well.

i think its good to be critical to anyone who may have genuinely been complacent, especially those like phil and tommy and even quackity who have been extremely close to wilbur and as of writing from what i know have yet to publically respond. but i dont think there should be a place for outright cynicism and accusing everyone who didnt speak until now of secretly being complicit. theres more to it than that. theres always more to it than that

#not rebloggable bc its a long and scrambled post and i dont want to invite people to get pissed at me #for going back on immediately going banned banned none of you are free of sin about every mc cc #ykwim #mask mews #idk. i got abused within a group of friends #and it was acknowledged within the group. but many of the others in the group were also being abused or otherwise mistreated #one of the abusers irls later contacted us to say he started getting worse towards them as well #i would never want to accuse anyone who wasnt able to properly defend me during that time of being complicit #i of all people obviously understand why they were scared. why they didnt stand up for me until later #sometimes it really does take a while to properly comprehend just how bad it was. for you and for others

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exhausted-archivist · 6 months

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Comparing and Contrasting Recipes From the Cookbook to Previous Mentions: The Differences, Similarities, and My Thoughts

A full list of recipes that have been previously mentioned in the series, coupled with my thoughts on the cookbooks working recipe in comparison.

I find interest in the fact that the working recipes have little to no grounding in lore as they are often in contradiction to the lore blurbs that accompany them or are in direct contradiction of in game recipes in instances that don't seem apparent as to why they made the ingredient change. Fluffy Mackerel Pudding being the exception to this.

But I broke this into 4 sections:

Previous Dishes Recipes and Their Differences

Drink Recipes

Lore Differences, General Notes

Short Summary of Opinion

Going to put all of this under the cut as it is super long.

Previous Recipes and Their Differences

Antivan Gnocchi This one was a curious one, as the dish was only recently introduced into Thedas in Tevinter Nights. I enjoyed the lore blurb for this recipe as it really anchored in some food and cultural facts you only hear in the anthology. However, the lore blurb describes the gnocchi as dressed with leeks and cheese sauce but then the working recipe... distinctly lacks any leeks and instead goes for a rather basic pine nut pesto sauce. Which puzzles me why they didn't just simply describe that rather than what is in the lore blurb.

Eggs à la Val Foret Originally mentioned in a note in Trespasser. It is described in the cookbook to have tons of cream and in the original note to have a cream sauce. However, the working recipe does not follow that criteria, using hollandaise sauce and giving this recipe a form of eggs Benedict, leaving the first case for why the recipes in the cookbook are likely not adhering to canon.

Black Lichen Bread This one I almost didn't include as the specification of black lichen has never been mentioned before in canon. However, we do know that in Origins we have mentions in Orzammar of lichen bread and in the lore blurb it specifies "this is lichen bread not bark bread" so I'm running with that. My thoughts on this particular recipe is the fact that instead of using a grain that would give a brown colour and mixing something like black seasame of gel food colouring to achieve the dark colour and instead used activated charcoal. Which shouldn't be anyone's first choice due to the known risks of consuming activated charcoal. Which is a whole post in and of itself that I went into here.

Dwarven Plum Jam The plum jam was first mentioned in Origins and has been remarked on multiple times since. There isn't really anything to contradict here in terms of the lore blurb, the working recipe throws me, because this recipe is not meant for long term storage outside of the refrigerator. Which is arguably not made clear enough as the final step says "The plum jam will keep for up to 6 months sealed in a cool place. Refrigerate after opening." Which contradicts the last line of the previous step "Store the jars in the refrigerator." As minor as they seem, these are pretty big distinctions. A cool place does not necessarily mean you keep it in the fridge, and this has to be kept in the fridge. The recipe doesn't call for any sugar so there is nothing actually preserving this for long term storage outside of it. So, it really isn't stressed at all and the wordage is conflicting. I would have adapted this for a smaller batch because 4-5 - 14oz jars in your fridge of the same thing take up a lot of space if you aren't giving them away. Additionally, I'd use allspice instead of cinnamon and vanilla extract. If you bloom the allspice before putting it in the plum reduction you get a much larger depth of flavor and you get the notes of vanilla and other things with it.

Fish Chowder First mentioned by Zevran in Origins while speaking of Antiva, the lore blurb carries the same theme. Speaking of how it is a dish that will bring you to Antiva city. There isn't much to speak of in terms of pre-established ingredients, however I find that the working recipe is a bit rich for a dish to be served to folks between a tannery and the coast. Which is a theme I have noticed in general with recipes of the poor or lower class. Instead of using them as simple, low-effort, and sort of beginner recipes they seem to evolve into one of the more complex. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I would have preferred they took advantage of more humble recipes from lore as such things and add additional notes of possible things they could include to "elevate" the recipe as it is called.

Fish in Salt Crust This is Avvar in origin and first mentioned in the DLC Jaws of Hakkon. The lore blurb and in-game description say that this is made by wrapping the fish in pungent leaves and cooked on banked coals. However where the in-game description specifies that the fish and leaves are wrapped in clay, the cookbook's lore blurb replaces that with salt. To be honest when I heard it was wrapped in pungent leaves and clay/salt, I was thinking something akin to banana leaves or something of the sort. The working recipe however uses thyme and rosemary, herbs. Which is an understandable and accessible swap, however the conversion of clay to a salt crust confuses me as there are casserole dishes, terracotta dishes, and other cookware means to replicate the "clay" wrapping while cooking in an oven. Especially considering the recipe calls for 4.5-6.5 lbs (2.04-2.95 kg) of salt I think a cookware swap would have been more economical. That said I do love a good salt crusted fish.

Fish Pocket Though referred to as fish wraps by The Iron Bull in DAI, these are the same dish. The lore blurb says that they learned this recipe from the Bull's Chargers. Which would imply the working recipe is roughly the same. However in the game Bull describes it as fish wrapped in thin bread. The working recipe has these more akin to a hand pie or pasty, wrapping the store-bought salmon filet in pizza dough with minimal seasoning of salt, parsley, pepper, shallot, and egg.

Fluffy Mackerel Pudding This recipe first debuted in Origins thanks to Mary Kirby and Sheryl Chee. It is in reference to the original weight watcher recipe and also the secondary example as to why the recipes likely aren't canon outside of the lore blurbs. The recipe in-game and the cookbook lore blurb calls for celery, eggs, mackerel and onion. The in game recipe also calls for Antivan pepper (Thedas replacement for cayenne), green pepper, mustard, salt, mace, cardamom seed and specifies the mackerel is to be poached. The working recipe calls for potatoes, smoked mackerel, butter, eggs, black pepper, and ground nutmeg. An entirely different dish for obvious reasons, as this dish was a play on a weight watchers recipe.

Found Cake First introduced in Origins and described very little aside from how it had likely seen better days as well as having mabari spittle on it. Something the lore blurb of the cookbook references. A new aspect of this cake coming from the cookbook is that it is a chocolate cream variety topped with white frosting and strawberries. Much like the item icon in Origins, though it should be noted the item icon is also shared with the sugar cake. As far as the working recipe, it's simple and sounds delicious.

Goat Custard This one is technically introduced in Inquisition, however it is not a desert custard but a savory one. It's actually not a custard at all but a broiled goat head. So, a very big switch up! I do enjoy this recipe as a whole though, from the wonderful short lore blurb to the rather simple recipe.

The Hanged Man's Mystery Meat Stew Previously only mentioned on a loading screen of DA2, this stew in the lore blurb is kept the same. A mysterious meat stew made every day, but not knowing what exact type of meat you might be eating. Personally, I find the working recipe in the cookbook too elaborate for a tavern that is known for its ill-reputable clientele and is described as smelling of sour ale, vomit, and desperation. The working recipe calls for olive oil, onion, garlic, pancetta, ground pork, tomato paste, dry red wine, kidney beans, diced tomatoes, canned corn, red bell pepper, chili pepper, bay leaves, allspice berries, clove, salt, pepper, paprika, caraway, oregano, sugar, lemon, and parsley for garnish.

Heath Cakes Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 295. It also notes that it is traditionally made with halla butter but can be substituted with goat or cow butter, same as in World of Thedas. Hearth cakes are noted to be "common Dalish fare".

Lamb and Pea Stew This was a stew first mentioned in Origins and has been jokingly referred to since, even in the cookbook. Alistair's version of this dish is a uniform grey colour that leaves Leliana unable to discern that there was even lamb in the stew. Though the cookbook calls this King Alistair's Lamb and Pea Stew, it is clear in the lore blurb that Alistair's opinions on Fereldan cooking is incorrect save for throwing it in a large pot. Overall the working recipe is fairly basic; potatoes, oil, onions, ground lamb, tomato paste, beef stock, canned peas and carrots, pepper, paprika, butter, cream, nutmeg, cheese, and thyme. However instead of a stew, this working recipe instructs you in what would better be described as a casserole. Which isn't the first time that the cookbook deviates so strongly from the dish name or even lore description.

Llomerryn red Mentioned in the recipe for Merrill's Blood Soup and is another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 286.

Nug Pancakes A dish first mentioned in Origins along with the famed nug-gets. A recipe, unfortunately only referenced in the cookbook. Over all the gist of these is the same and the working recipe itself takes on a more developed and savory path than one would expect for something deemed to be a child's favorite. And by that I simply mean it is a high effort meal that I couldn't really see being served regularly outside of Orzammar's upper castes of nobles, royals, and warriors. As in Orzammar such spices as sugar, coriander, cumin, spicy hungarian paprika, chili powder, and the like would all be expensive surface imports.

Peasant Bread Originally shown in the novel Masked Empire as Michel de Chalon watches the Dalish make it for their midday meal and reminds him of his mother making it. Like the novel, the lore in the cookbook keeps the basic ingredients the same, a simple recipe of wheat, salt, and grease. The difference between the novel and cookbook lore is their chosen topping, Michel's mother would top his slice with sugar and the cookbook suggests butter and jam. The working recipe however, calls for an alternative of active dry yeast, flour, sugar, milk, egg yolks, and butter.

Pickled Eggs Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 285. It is also noted to be a popular Fereldan tavern food and cure all. The difference in tone between the two recipes is 'The Whole Nug' is written by an Orlesian and views the recipe with distaste, and the cookbook's narrator is Fereldan and speaks with a fondness. The recipe itself differs in that the World of Thedas calls for sugar, salt, vinegar, water, and boiled and peeled eggs while the cookbook - which notes it is providing a base recipe that you can customize - lists onion, bay leaf, allspice berries, cloves, mustard seed, peppercorns, dried chili pepper, caraway, water, sugar, salt, white wine vinegar, and eggs. It also suggest alternative herbs and spices such as rosemary, tarragon, dill, thyme, and curry or to include aromatics like beets, bell peppers, squash, and garlic. Overall, this is one of my favorite working recipes for how its formatted and how it encourages more openly with trying different seasonings. Though, I think the World of Thedas recipe is better as a "base" to build from. So if you do want to experiment, I think reducing to those basic 5 ingredients and building from there is the best way to go about it.

Roasted Cave Beetles Previously mentioned in the Dragon Age Tabletop RPG (TTRPG) in the Buried Pasts adventure, the dwarves eat the beetles in the shell after roasting them.

Roasted Wyvern This is an Orlesian and Avvar favored meal item, mentioned in Da2 and in World of Thedas Vol. 2. There really wasn't much description on the method of roasting, seasoning or anything. So there really was a lot of room to play with this. One thing I found curious was that they use turkey legs in the working recipe for wyvern meat. It is an interesting choice and one likely made due to the size of a turkey leg, as you can't necessarily make turkey steaks like the wyvern steak mentioned in the Rusted Horn.

Sera's Yummy Corn Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 295. It was written in her hand and displayed as if it was slipped in. Like in the lore burb of the cookbook, it is specified that the corn used has to be yellow and "not that weirdly checkered stuff". That it needed to be "cake-hot, not forge-hot" and it required no pot or wrap, simply "steal-heat-peel". However, in contrast to both of those, the working recipe of the cookbook makes what would be a humble and delicious snack a little more. Introducing herb butter composed of parsley, chives, clove, red onion, butter, ground mustard, and has you boil the corn (it suggests pre-cooked?) in milk and sugar, before you grill or broil it and top it with chili pepper rings.

Smoked Ham from the Anderfels There really isn't much to say about this famous gag in Dragon Age. First mentioned in the dlc Mark of the Assassin, we get the first idea of what exactly is on this ham in the cookbook lore book. It comes with different glazes, Devon's favorite being a glaze composed of apples and apricots.

Starkhaven Fish and Egg Pie Originally mentioned in Dragon Age 2 and later in Dragon Age Inquisition, this dish is spoken to be both Sebastain Vael and Samson's favorite dish. It is a recipe that appeared in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 283. The working recipe in the cookbook vs The Whole Nug differs a fair bit. To start, the amount of ingredients between the two, the cookbook having 23 and The Whole Nug having 15. I couldn't really compare the two in which I would prefer, but I do have a leaning towards The Whole Nug due to it being more adaptable as well as being intentionally anchored in-world.

Stuffed Vine Leaves These were first depicted in the comic Deception, where they are in a tavern in Tevinter and in the background you see someone eating what looks like dolmas or stuffed grape leaves.

Sugar Cake Another Origins item, this cake is described as being a simple pound cake dressed in strawberries and sugar-cream icing. However, the lore blurb and the working recipe directly contradict this. The lore blurb describes it as a humble mixture of butter, sugar, and almonds. Then, directly references a line from the origins item description about how it is "the perfect pick-me-up after a long day of travel." They seemed to have given the cream icing and the strawberries to the aforementioned found cake and turned this into a simple pound cake with almond topping. Which works well enough, however I think if they swapped the names on the two recipes they would make more sense. The working recipe calls for such little sugar, I didn't quite get as much sweetness as one would expect from such a cake.

Turnip and Mutton Pie Previously mentioned in Inquisition on the Rusted Horn's menu in Crestwood, this is another recipe with more play for the cookbook as the game only offers the detail that such a dish is worth 3 coppers. The lore blurb in the cookbook makes it sound like a humble and filling dish as well as describing it as a double crusted pot pie versus just a top crust. Which is what the working recipe gives you. Which isn't surprising and is of little consequence one way or the other, especially considering that the working recipe is for an 11-inch (27.94cm) pie.

Drink Recipes

All of my opinions on the alcoholic drinks is that they should have had a mocktail version, and if not all a good chunk of them would have worked well as mocktails.

Another opinion of mine that you will see pretty regularly is that most of these drinks have listed ingredients in lore and are usually remarked on in the lore blurbs. But the working recipes are so far removed it is rather jarring. Which circles back to my previous opinion of the fact they could have made these mocktails.

Antivan Sip-Sip Introduced in Inquisition, there is no official ingredient list for this one. Simply this description: "Careful, this one's mean. Attic-raised mean. Popular among highborn who wish to seem dangerous, but more at home grasped by the neck by those who actually are." A description that is vaguely referenced in the lore blurb. As far as the working recipe goes, it's simple coconut rum, Jägermeister, and pineapple juice. Honestly, it could be a mocktail but I don't think it's really a missed opportunity here that it wasn't unlike some of the others.

Chasind Sack Mead Described in Origins as "A brutishly strong honey liquor, reminiscent of warm summer days, apple blossoms on the wind with an unexpected aftertaste of father going off to war, never to return. Bitter, to say the least." The lore blurb makes another poetic description in the same vein where it is more akin to the changing of the seasons; "First, there's a near-overwhelming rush of honey, tinged with the sour-sweetness of apple blossoms, that fills the mouth with all the bright warmth of a summer's day. But as the initial sweetness fades, there comes an unexpected bitterness, reminiscent of the slow decay into fall, then winter." They're both distinct and evoke a certain flavour profile to the mind. Now I likely won't be making this at any time, so I cannot speak to how well the working recipe captures that flavour. But the ingredients it lists vaguely evoke the potential of it in theory of what I know for these ingredients. It calls for apple juice (unfiltered), pure culture brewer's yeast, water, honey, St. John's wort, meadowsweet, verbena, and kieselsol.

Dragon Piss This one is interesting because while it has this description in Origins: "The name is probably figurative, but no one knows for sure." It actually has its first draft of a recipe from a twitch stream where the recipe is "1oz light rum, 1 oz dark rum, fill with iced tea". The cookbook recipe is a far departure from that, as it calls for raspberry brandy, sparkling wine, and blue curaçao liqueur; as well as lighting it on fire. The main spectacle of this drink is that it is lit on fire. I think the twitch recipe is a good foundation of a mocktail as well as sticks more visually to the name. Could have been a mocktail.

The Emerald Valley This cocktail from Inquisition is a recipe from The Gilded Horn like many on this list. But for this drink, it calls for: a spirit distilled by Chantery sisters in Lydes from over seventy herbs and flowers, topped with egg-white foam and dusted with nutmeg. A rather specific spirit to say the least. So much so the lore blurb for this drink is only two sentences long and focuses on that. Meanwhile the working recipe calls for ice cubes, bourbon, herb liqueur, simple syrup, heavy whipping cream, egg yolk, and freshly grated nutmeg. The only overlap between the two is the nutmeg dusting. I do wonder why they went with bourbon and made what is in essence eggnog with less spices. The shift from egg-white foam topper to what seems like would have been a good herb infused liqueur or an herbal simple syrup and making it akin to a mule or mojito. If they really wanted to keep with the strong herbal taste a St. Germain would have been a good base to build off of. Could have been a mocktail.

The Golden Nug From Inquisition, this recipe from The Gilded Horn calls for effervescent (fizzy) white Seleney wine, dash of West Hill Brandy, and a splash of pomegranate juice, muddled with raspberries and a sprig of royal elfroot. The lore blurb also specifies all this but the royal elfroot and describes the drink of having a pinkish hue. The working recipe however calls for ice cubes, grapefruit juice, gin, tonic water, and rosemary for garnish. A departure from the fizzy white wine and brandy combo with pomegranate and raspberries. If they were going to keep it alcoholic, I think a better swap would have to keep everything but swap the white wine for tonic water and making this a brandy and tonic based cocktail with pomegranate and raspberries vs a grapefruit gin and tonic and still achieve a soft pink look. Could have been a mocktail.

The Hissing Drake In-game recipe from The Gilded Horn which includes: cinnamon-infused whiskey, dark Llomerryn rum, Hirol's Lava Burst. Two of those three recipes are pretty easy to find here, and the Hirol's Lava Burst which "tastes of burning" would have been replaced with a high-proof alcohol and/or mixing in hot sauce or garnishes with spice - as it does in the working recipe. However the working recipe amounts to a bloody mary, having: Lemon juice, salt, vodka, tomato juice, tabasco, worcestershire sauce, pepper, sea salt, celery rib, pickle, spiced jerky. Coupling the working recipe with the lore blurb, it feels a little weird to have a drinking contest with bloody marys. But, people can and do have weird choices for drinking contests. Could have been a mocktail.

Hot Chocolate Bull's personal mission in Inquisition, making cocoa with Orlesian guimauves. Overall the working recipe is fine, it is a simple cup of cocoa and they even direct you on how to whip your own whipped cream.

Lichen Ale First mentioned in Origins, this ale is known to be toxic to everyone who drinks it but non-dwarves especially. Something the lore blurb stresses heavily while noting that they made changes to remove the risk and fear of poisoning. Overall, a pretty straight-forward and fun piece. Just looking at the recipe and the things with substitutes I deem it: Could have been a mocktail. Especially because it could have been fun to have recipes for making your own Kahlùa.

Rivaini Tea Blend First introduced in The Masked Empire novel as a favored tea of Empress Celene, its listed ingredients were cinnamon, ginger, and clove. However the lore blurb for this recipe creates a whole new mixture of peppermint, lemon verbena, oregano, and licorice root, then cites the blend as the one that Celene drinks to alleviate her headaches. I'm not too sure why the change in that, but it is noteworthy. The working recipe itself calls for: peppermint, lemon verbena, oregano (flowers and leaves), mixed edible flowers (elderflower, mallow, and marigold), licorice root, vanilla bean, black tea, and honey. Overall it is a good and tasty mix, but one I would not be taking for headaches. If we followed Celene's reasoning for it - an aid for headaches, a better bet would actually be the original recipe as ginger and clove can help with headaches and migraines. Peppermint can as well, but the addition of the various floral notes as well as black tea and vanilla bean wouldn't. Not that the cookbook is necessarily providing the recipe for that purpose.

Lore and General Notes

In the recipe for nug pancakes, it notes that the taste of nug meat is akin to that of pork and rabbit, which is different from the pork and hare approximation from Origins.

The Jade Ham we see as a weapon in Inquisition is a smoked ham from the Anderfels with a specific glaze.

We've heard very little of Anderfels agriculture and animal husbandry prior to the cookbook. Save that they have apples that are small and bitter and largely import dried fruits. The cookbook introduces the fact that pig farming does profoundly well in the Anderfels, resulting in bigger pigs and by extension hams.

The cookbook introduces for the first time the existence of international connoisseurs as well as sharing just how widespread the use of goat milk is, seemingly more prevalent than cattle.

Chasind Sack Mead recipe mentions Chasind Wildwine, an ale that was originally only mentioned in the TTRPG and is made from a specific type of grain native to Ferelden called ryott.

Short Summary of Opinion

Overall my general opinion on the cookbook is that the lore elements are fun and I enjoy the references and nods to the series. The photos are very campy and fun, and doesn't take itself too seriously and also builds on nods towards the series through merch references. I feel like the cookbook is a solid 5/10 and I'm not really disappointed in it. It was more than what I expected and had the thing I was most excited and hopeful for: food and culture lore.

But I'm sure if you've read this far, my main issue with this cookbook, and something that is wholly a personal preference from my own work in this area as well as an opinion built from my other game/franchise cookbooks like World of Warcraft, Dnd, Critical Role, and Elder Scrolls being some of my favorites.

But I find the disconnect in the recipe description, recipe name, and lore blurbs from the actual working recipes a sizable detractor. I personally am not a fan of it simply telling you to get store bought ingredients - like the hollandaise sauce which is a simple recipe - instead of providing that recipe and suggesting the store bought as an alternative. A preference that comes from my own dietary restrictions meaning half of the "just buy store bought" requires me to look up a separate recipe elsewhere. Leading the book to feel a touch incomplete.

I also stated before in the drink section just how much it doesn't sit well that there aren't any mocktails and your only non-alcoholic options are tea and hot cocoa. I think they could have really explored that more and developed some really fun and inclusive drinks for those who don't/can't drink alcohol.

I also noticed, that this publisher who does a majority of game franchises or just media franchise cookbooks, is that they didn't have one of my favorite things about the Elder Scrolls cookbook, which was the Dietary Considerations chart. It was in the back of the cookbook and the chart had every recipe that fell in one or multiples of the following categories:

Vegetarian

Vegan

Gluten-free

Easily made vegetarian, vegan, or gluten-free with simple alterations

The fact that the Dragon Age cookbook didn't have this was disappointing to say the least and makes this rather inaccessible for people with such needs. I also have just a general distaste for the fact that all but 2 of the 9 drink recipes were alcoholic. That there was no attempt to offer mocktails, which not only feels like a missed opportunity but also just a limiting one on accessibility when it's pretty clear that working recipes are not mirrors to their in universe counterparts.

A big thing for me in modern cookbooks is accessibility, from difficulty, to ability to add alterations, and actually putting efforts into non-alcoholic drinks that aren't just hot chocolate or a tea blend (though I do like that they did a tea blend.)

This book is definitely more for a fan who wants to look into a fun recipe every now and then but mostly was there for the lore blurbs and just the sort of fan service of it.

#dragon age #tastes of thedas #dragon age tastes of thedas #da: tot #world of thedas #da: wot #masked empire #dragon age origins #dao #dragon age 2 #da2 #long post #meta #I know I picked this to the road and back. But I have feelings about making food inclusive as possible.#Also it is 2023 not considering dietary restrictions or making mocktails is... Well I got feelings about that #As for the changes in recipe ingredients from lore. Some I do get because legal reasons and recipe copyright is a murky mess.#But considering they took recipes donated by the devs. And all the work they did within the cookbook #they likely wouldn't have had any trouble using recipes with ingredient lists from the game. Not only is this transformative enough #but if they developed them just from the ingredient lists they would have been their own recipes. you can't copyright ingredients folks.#I genuinely have questions about why they made the changes they did and why the cookbook has so many store-bought or canned specifications.

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