Ready Now

"Aziraphale has told Crowley he loves him, many times by now and showed him that he loves him many more times as well. But there are still years and years of rules and habits learned through their long association that are complete rubbish now, harmful even. It's going to take awhile to sort them all out." aka Crowley and Aziraphale are both messes but they love each other so they're going to work it out. Also available on A03

One action packed road trip and one world saved (again) later, Aziraphale and Crowley are finally back in London but things are very different than before.  For one, Heaven and Hell are officially and forever off their backs. No more being technically traitors or ex-employees or anything, just a miraculous and permanent severing of their individual allegiances (without any real change to their state of being) and a promised immunity from any further meddling. It was a bit dizzying to think about, to be honest, so often Aziraphale would not, instead choosing to focus on the most exceptional, truly unbelievably wonderful thing that had happened along the way which was that Crowley had accepted his feelings (once Aziraphale had finally found his courage and told him) and returned them eagerly with words and kisses of his own. There may even have been a slight drizzle happening throughout the whole confession that was neatly blocked by a nearby apple tree, though to be honest, the details of everything besides how it felt to hold Crowley in his arms were a bit fuzzy. 

They'd been home for about three days so far (and by home, Aziraphale means holed up in his bookshop) and they'd gotten up to all manner of things that Aziraphale had barely ever even hoped to try together. He'd even, after a bit of convincing, attempted sleeping, which he'd found enjoyable enough, at least on a short term basis and as long as Crowley was curled tightly around him. This morning had started much the same way as any other had since their return; lots of kissing, breakfast, more kissing, talking about some inane subject for hours on end, kissing and so on. Aziraphale had been assuming that the terribly similar morning would roll on, transforming into a terribly similar afternoon when, to his surprise, a knock had come on the bookshop door while Crowley was in the back finding more wine. Aziraphale had nearly sent whoever it was away when he'd just heard, barely audible through the heavy wood and glass, the declaration that they were, in fact, from the International Express Delivery Service and had a package for a Mr. Fell that required a signature if at all possible.

Aziraphale had sprung up, hurrying to catch the delivery person before they slipped away with a book that he'd ordered nearly two years ago now that had somehow, between the pandemic and a surprising chain of postal mix-ups, miraculously gotten waylaid just long enough to arrive at the bookshop very close to his own permanent return to it. Funny old world and all that. To be honest, until that very moment, Aziraphale had basically forgotten all about it but the instant he opened the package, he felt his breath catch in his throat. The cover, a beautiful, polished crimson leather and it's contents, pages and pages of detailed facts about snakes paired with equally detailed gouache paintings of them were collectively even more stunning than they had seemed in the auction catalog all those years ago. He'd opened the book reverentially to the beginning and, without looking up, drifted his way carefully through the familiar obstacles of his bookshop and over to his couch. This was going to take some seeing to, he was certain.

**** 

Aziraphale looks up some time later from a particularly stunning illustration of a Red Bellied Black Snake to see Crowley pacing around the bookshop aimlessly. He tilts his head. "Is there something going on? Perhaps something you need to do, my dear?"

Crowley's gaze snaps up to meet Aziraphale's as he stops pacing. "Right, I'll just- get out of your hair then?" Crowley puts his sunglasses on and starts to head towards the door.

Aziraphale feels a sudden rush of panic. Something seems off. "Crowley, wait!" 

Crowley stops dead in his tracks and turns back to him. "What?"

"I-" He waves a hand in little circles. "I don't understand what's happening. Do you have something else you need to do or not?"

Crowley grimaces. "Technically... no."

Aziraphle sighs. "Then why are you leaving?"

"Well," Crowley shrugs, "you're busy-"

"Ahhhhh of course!" Aziraphale nods and smiles. Now he understands everything. How long had it been since he'd even looked up from his book? An half an hour, maybe an hour even. He hadn't meant to get so absorbed really. Crowley must be going mad. He wonders why he hadn't just wandered off all on his own really. Perhaps he hadn't wanted to leave without saying anything but he also hadn't wanted to interrupt Aziraphale? Crowley always had been terribly considerate of him. "Well," he smiles, "Just make sure to take the keys when you go then?"

Crowley's mouth flattens. "Right," he nods stiffly, his tone brittle. "Wouldn't want to be in the way." He heads for the door faster this time.

Before he even quite knows what he's doing, Aziraphale's snaped and the door becomes temporarily uncooperative. Crowley gives the handle a little tug and then sighs.

Aziraphale's stomach sinks. He's a fool. It's suddenly quite clear that he'd been nearly completely wrong with his previous theory. Luckily for him, he's starting to see the shape of it now. There must be a second conversation happening, one he can't perceive, that's making Crowley very upset. He sighs and squeezes his eyes closed. "Crowley, I don't know what I said but please just talk to me. I can tell you're quite upset."

Crowley jiggles the door knob one more time and then turns around. Even in the sunglasses, he won't meet Aziraphale's eyes. "It's just, I've been here what, three days? And you started reading and I figured, ya know, that was my sign to go. I mean, you're bound to get sick of me sometime. I'm just trying to, mmm, keep ahead of it. Stay out of your way."

Aziraphale's chest aches at that and he frowns. "Crowley, I love you-"

"Right," Crowley snaps, "and we wouldn't want you to change your mind about that now, would we?"

Aziraphale feels like he's been punched in the stomach. He closes his book completely and sets it on the arm of the couch. "Alright, that's enough of that. Come over here right this instant." His face is stone and his tone brokers no argument. 

Crowley squirms as if fighting himself and then goes limp. "Fine, since you haven't given me much of a choice." He saunters over, his feet dragging a little. "Here?" he says, standing in front of Aziraphale, his tone a bit mocking though which of them he's making fun of isn't clear. (Probably himself)

Aziraphale shakes his head and pats the couch next to him. "Here please."

Crowley visibly rolls his eyes, even in the sunglasses, and then plops down, a wild sprawl of limbs, "And wh-"

Aziraphale reaches across and grabs Crowley by the far shoulder, pulling him rather effortlessly down so that his head is now resting in Aziraphale's lap. Crowley's jaw falls slack and his cheeks darken just slightly. 

Aziraphale immediately tangles a hand in Crowley's hair and lets out a contented sigh. Ever since they'd gotten together and he'd started getting to touch Crowley whenever he wants, doing this had always made his heart skip a beat. Somehow it's even more lovely than he'd always thought it would be. He hopes that someday he'll get to feel it at all of the wonderful lengths he'd missed out on touching over the years. "I love doing this." Aziraphale beams down at Crowley as he continues to run his fingers through his hair. "Do you like it as well?"

Crowley stumbles for a moment before finally getting out, "Mmmmm yeah. Course I do." He smiles a little shyly and looks away. "I- I don't know what this has to do with anything?"

Aziraphale sighs and meets Crowley's eyes as best he can with the sunglasses. "I need you to understand something: I don't really ever want you to go away. Like of course we'll do separate errands sometimes or you'll get bored and go for a drive or I'll go to a book sale and you won't want to come. Or perhaps you and Muriel and the girls will go to some loud concert and I'll stay home. And that's normal and fine. I'll even be happy you're having a good time without me. But I am never going to be gladdened by just your absence, you understand? I'm always happiest when you're here with me."

Crowley swallows. "You can't mean that-"

"Do I sound like I'm joking?"

"Well, no but-"

"I have spent enough time playing coy and pushing you away and I'm sick of it. But also," Aziraphale frowns, "you have to talk to me. I am, unfortunately, not a mind reader."

"Honestly, that's for the best," Crowley says, under his breath. "Don't know what I'd do if you'd been reading my mind all these years and just never told me. Discorporate out of sheer embarrassment probably."

Aziraphale rolls his eyes just slightly.

"Right, sorry, what do you want to know again? It's just the," he gestures at his own head, "fingers are a bit… distracting and all."

"I can stop-" Aziraphale teases, ceasing his gentle touches for just a moment.

"Don't you dare!" Crowley's hand flies up as if to grab Aziraphale's wrist. 

"Fine," he smiles and resumes his caresses. "I wanted you to clarify why you were so upset. Did I do something?" 

"Nnnn nah," Crowley shrugs. "I mean I already said it, didn't I?  You were reading and I didn't want to be in the way."

"And that's it? Nothing else?"

"I mean," Crowley grits his teeth, and then frowns. He looks like he wants to run away again.  "In the past," he says, voice small, "you really were asking me to go? When you'd do that." 

Aziraphale frowns. Of course he's right. Aziraphale is aware that he'd often pushed Crowley away over the years. That's why he'd tried to be crystal clear on how he feels about Crowley being around now. He just really hadn't thought about how confusing this new state of their relationship could possibly be feeling from Crowley's side. Aziraphale has told him he loves him, many times by now, and showed him that he loves him many more times as well. But there are still years and years of rules and habits learned through their long association that are complete rubbish now, harmful even. It's going to take awhile to sort them all out.

Aziraphale nods. "Right, I see. That is why I started by saying what I did. But perhaps… what if I promise to tell you directly if there ever does come a time when I do need you to go for some reason? No more you needing to read between the lines?"

Crowley quirks an eyebrow, his voice hesitant. "You think you can do that?"

"I can very well try," he sits up a little straighter.

"Alright, so from now on, I just what? Have an open invitation to the bookshop and you just want me milling around whenever I want to be, yeah?"

"That is the idea, yes."

"Well alright then," Crowley looks stunned. "I'll… do that then." They sit there in quiet bliss for a moment before Crowley adds, "Not to look a gift horse in the mouth but uhhhh, why exactly are we sitting like this?"

Aziraphale startles. "Oh yes! Sorry about that. My idea, if you'd be amenable, is that we could sit like this while I read. I thought it sounded… nice." Aziraphale smiles shyly.

Crowley opens and closes his mouth a few times before he says, "Mmmm yeah, that could work." 

"Oh good," Aziraphale beams down at Crowley. 

The corners of Crowley's mouth turn up just slightly.

"You don't think you'll find it too boring?" 

Crowley takes off his sunglasses and tucks them into his jacket pocket. His small smile gets a bit larger. "I think it'll take me a while to get sick of this, Angel." He grabs Aziraphale's hand and kisses it gently before setting it back in his hair and closing his eyes. "Now, don't let me keep you from the wonderful world of ophiology. I think there may be one that's a rather good likeness of me somewhere around the halfway mark if memory serves."

Aziraphale smiles and chuckles slightly. Then, sighing contentedly, he figures out how to reopen his book, now one handed, and settles in for a nice long read, certain that there is no better way to spend a Thursday afternoon in the entire world. 

Hacks 2.03 and 2.04 Thoughts

Like Ava, I’m trusting the process even when it’s painful, and I’m still watching with an eye toward critical generosity. That being said, some (though certainly not all!) of my thoughts verge on the critical this week as a heads up. Thoughts are below the cut for spoilers (because I had to get this word vomit out so I could start my actual workday haha)

1. I’ve seen a few other people say this already, but the episodes feel a little more disjointed this season with the episodic nature of being on the road and on tour. I don’t mind that in and of itself, but I think it’s also led to this season’s feeling less cohesive in the overarching narrative at least in part because we’re being told more things this season vs. last season when we actually saw most of the action (e.g., we keep hearing that Deborah’s bombing, but, until ep 4, we were largely seeing her get laughs and punchlines in, even if they weren’t the best). So rather than *seeing* the process, we’re often hearing about it via meta commentary for better or worse (again, I think you do what you can with 8 episodes and what seems like an ambitious story to tell and tour to take the characters on)

2. I really loved the scene where Deborah steps in and makes Weed stop the bus to let Ava go look for her dad’s ashes, and the final “fuck it” moment of shedding her fur coat to climb into a literal dumpster to help look was exactly the kind of narrative payoff and emotional catharsis I know and love from this show!

3. Deborah’s always had the capacity for meanness and real cruelty toward others, but this season I feel like we’re seeing more of it directed at strangers, people in the workplace, and even fans--all of whom in S1 we saw Deborah being fairly collegial and even downright friendly with (which set her up from the start, imo, as different from, say, a Miranda Priestly, even though she could be just as cutting). Again, I think part of it is the seeing vs telling thing - I know theoretically that Deb’s frustrated about the tour going poorly, so it would make sense for her to be lashing out more. But because we’re seeing so little of it, I’m not feeling it as much

4. On the other hand, Deborah’s deliberately making Ava jealous (sometimes using and tossing aside others to do it) feels exactly the right amount of petty, and the way she’s doing it, MY GOD, it’s fucking L Word levels of gay 

5. Curious to see what we do with all of Ava’s very vocal pledges to clean living and very visible backsliding (largely encouraged by those around her, which makes sense! The entertainment business is a hard place for sobriety, as are a lot of the most visible spaces for queer life)

6. Look...I could write a whole separate post on ep 4 alone, but bulleted thoughts:

I get that it’s necessary for Deborah’s growth (comedic and personal) both to bomb in this painful obvious way AND ALSO to have some of the really shitty ways she’s talked about whole groups of people drawn out into the open, not for laughs but for scorn. THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT LESS PAINFUL TO WATCH. Holy shit an entire childhood spent in comedy clubs and bar basements, and that’s still in the top 3 worst things I’ve seen go down on a stage

The first 10 minutes or so...idk. I get that we’ve got a queer cast and not totally straight writing staff and all, but a lot of the jokes felt less like we were having a good in-on-the-joke kind of time and more of a laugh at the expense of queer women (like c’mon, why does the first woman to approach Ava have to be creepy about it?) Going into it (esp after having heard so much about how queer fans would LOVE this ep), I think I wanted The L Word Olivia Cruise episode vibes, and instead, it felt like I was watching Friends at first

BUT by the end, the episode felt like it had swung around enough so we could see that Deborah was the problem (the internalized misogyny, the way that she has such deep-rooted problems with a lesbian audience, the doubling down on it all), but I don’t think I personally ever shook my unease from the beginning of the episode

I really, deeply appreciated Ava’s conversation with Deborah during the manicure (so many thoughts about hands and queer erotics...). It gives a lot more nuance to conversations about sexuality than we generally get on screen. Esp after Ava’s brash comments in early S1, this felt like a chance for Ava to be serious with Deborah; she isn’t trying to shock Deborah to get the upper hand anymore, but is instead talking through a lot of things she’s had to process and think through herself, and I SO, SO appreciated it. 

I do hope we return to some of this because I think Ava can and should have a chance to talk to Deborah after that set... echoing a brief conversation I had with @softdeb, the molly-fueled awkward dancing at sea was, um, a choice, and I hope it’s not the last we’ll see of that arc

Also the question of Deborah’s relationship to desire and intimacy felt not nearly so settled as some comments in interviews made it out to be! It feels live and open to me. This isn’t an argument for canonicity or anything, but I do think there’s still much to be interrogated after that meltdown at sea

Oh Marcus... I can and will not talk about the puppy who deserves better 

Deborah’s phone call to Marcus was also so very good. I have a lot of care for both of these two deeply flawed, human characters--and a lot of thoughts about their history--and seeing them have this moment of being able to see each other/be seen while sitting amidst the rubble of all the ways they’ve fucked up was gorgeous. It’s what I’m here for in this show, and ending on that note was enough to make me hopeful

Five’s Powers

Two notes, this will obviously be altered as time goes on and Season 3 hopefully expands on Five’s powers in canon. For now most of this is what is known in canon and my own thoughts and ideas on his powers. Second, this will touch on parts of Five’s powers that he cannot yet access but is able to and will be able to one day.

Five’s powers in their briefest explanations are explained as teleportation, his spatial jumps, and chronokinesis, his time travel powers and what belongs in that basket of time powers.

Before I get into the nitty gritty of Five’s powers, I want to discuss some of the more boring elements of his powers meaning what he must do, the equations, and the effects his powers can and do have on him. Then I will go into the details of each of his main powers.

The Foundations of His Powers

Five’s powers are energy based, and equation influenced. His powers do not require either of these, but both are enormously helpful in the mastery of his powers.

There are multiple forms of teleportation powers that involve both time and space. Five’s have quite a few things involved the most obvious is the mathematical equations. But in addition to this Five also pulls at the threads of space and time to create his portals to go from place to place. The equations are used to help him map where he can land if he cannot see where he is jumping and how far he is jumping. The math lessens the chance that he will end up in a wall.

His powers also require energy. Energy however is not necessary for his powers to work, and his powers can malfunction even if he has energy, see side effects below. His powers require food to be lasting and work longer. He can jump without energy, but it is harder and it knocks him out until he recover. Because of this he has a very high metabolism and often needs copious amounts of food to compensate for it. It is something that I headcanon he shares with Luther who I also headcanon as his twin. I go into more detail about this in my headcanon about Five and food.

His powers also work partially off adrenaline. If he is panicking that is an automatic stop, however if he has truly exerted himself which is a very rare occurrence because of Reginald’s training he can work off pure adrenaline. His first three time jumps in the series from Fall to Summer, to Winter, to that apocalyptic Spring are done on pure adrenaline particular the summer to winter jump, and the winter to spring jump. However he then panics upon his surroundings causing him to be unable to jump.

Side Effects

Side effects of his powers include enhanced vision, but not like x-ray vision or anything of that sort. No Five can see the fabric of time and space and it exists in his peripherals as blue threads. It is what he physically pulls at when he Blinks or jumps. It is one of the main reasons behind his concentrated face when he jumps.

When it comes to medicine, modern medicine does not work on Five. In the sense that pain killers do absolutely nothing for him. His metabolism burns it up before any effect can be had. It does not matter the dose, because when his metabolism can’t work fast enough to correct, his body creates a jump to correct the foreign invader if that makes sense. This is also the reason Five rarely gets sick. Unfortunately the same can’t be said for wounds, and bullet wounds and shrapnel wounds or any type of wound. His body works more on a molecular level, he would have to physically Blink himself away from the object to get it out which when he is injured is far too taxing on him and his body.

Five heals fairly quickly, which is a trait I do headcanon he and Luther to share. However the caveat for Five is that unless his adrenaline is pumping, the wound cannot itself be infected or let to fester. He actually has to help it along. The bullet graze on his arm heals much faster than the shrapnel wound for example.

Five’s powers like Vanya’s powers (at least) are in part affected by his emotions. As stated above, Five does not necessarily need food to help his abilities though it does make him stronger, however his abilities will fail him if he feels any sort of panic. We see this happen throughout the series in the Apocalypse, in Gimbles, at the Consulate party, Running with Diego across the field. Five tends to right it off as he is out of power however with the last instance mentioned he has the power to fight Lila with full range of his power immediately after. It is not necessarily him being out of power, but panic setting in that he must first fully get over to be able to utilize his powers. In the apocalypse besides the equation being a hindrance, he is also panicking, and eventually the lack of energy makes utilizing his powers nearly impossible so he doesn’t until he is ready for that moment which doesn’t come.

Combat Skills

Five’s combat skills while not a power exactly should be talked about. His combat skills are inherently linked with his powers. We know this not just from the leaked pilot script where at a young age we know Five trained to be lethal with weapons with his blinks by Reginald. However we also know this from almost every single fight Five takes part in, most notable of these are his two fights with Lila, as well as the famous Griddy’s fight.

Five’s combat skills though are not reliant on his powers. Five is naturally a swift person, and a nimble person. Being someone who is smaller, and was one of the “weaker” siblings, and “smaller” siblings he uses his size and quickness to his advantage. Five’s quickness, allows him to give the appearance of teleportation on occasion depending on the fight. It does tend to come in handy when he is panicking and cannot access his powers, it allows him to build up adrenaline which allows him to utilize his powers again.

Teleportation - Spatial Jumps aka Blinks etc.

As stated in the foundations part of why Five can do what he can is because of mathematical equations. However, that is only part of it. Another part is the ability to see the fabric of reality more or less. He has to bend it and pull it in order to create the portal to run through. Ben has a similar power with the portal in his stomach. Five can see this portal, which leads to the possible ability to jump between dimensions though this untested, and Five much rather keep it that way as well.

The equations as stated are more of a fail safe to ensure Five wont end up in a wall, and end up where he needs if he cannot see the area. When it comes to open areas Five uses less math and more natural ability to teleport from place to place with precision.

When Five teleports he creates a small vacuum that rapidly cools him and then heats him back up, it happens in a fraction of a second, but it does leave a lasting effect on Five that he hates the cold, and in general is less tolerable of it.

Five can teleport not just himself, but people, himself and people, as well as objects. Five does not have to touch objects to teleport them, as seen in the bank robbery scene where he teleports a gun out of the robber’s hand and replaces it with a stapler. It is again seen when he teleported his tie around the neck of a hired Temps Commission worker during the Griddy’s fight. To transport a person Five must touch them to do so, this is indicated in the Board of Director’s massacre when one of the directors is launched into the ceiling, they were teleported their courtesy of Five. Additionally when transporting himself with a person he has to touch them, this is scene when he transports himself and Diego.

Transporting another person with him utilizes far more energy than just himself, and is not done as easily without math. He can do it on the fly but it will not cause the most desired affects. Additionally, whoever he teleports may feel woozy or dizzy since not only are the not used to the feeling, but it does tear you a part a bit. What this means is yes Five is partially torn apart in creating his portals, but further when he started jumping he was often nauseous and sick to his stomach which lead to the family discovering medicine does not work on him.

Five will eventually be able to teleport people without touching them, in fact the prime time for him to be able to do this is when he is physically thirty as that is when his body is at its prime and is at its strongest. Doing it before then would likely cause him to pass out for a while because Spatial jumping utilizes more energy than time jumping.

The farther away Five jumps the more energy it takes. Theoretically he can jump anywhere but it deals with his energy levels and the math to be able to do stuff. Five is much more successful with short jumps, and consecutive jumps as seen in his combat skills. Where it becomes difficult is how far he is jumping and where the math becomes impossibly difficult. He could jump to another planet or the moon, but he doesn’t have the energy or quite frankly precise enough math to do so. But just because he doesn’t, doesn’t mean he can’t.

I have made it no secret on this blog that Five does not like to be tied up, or restrained. This deals not only with Reginald’s training, but also The Commission. The thing is restraints and doors are not an obstacle for Five. However it was not always like this. Five trained incredibly hard with multiple captive situations of himself to be able to jump away and leave all types of restraints behind. As a kid Five was bad at it, and would often be left in restraints until he could Blink out of them, which lead to days without food or  water among other things.

Chronokinesis - Time Travel etc.

Five’s time travel while utilizing energy is far far more dependent on math and equations. To make actual physical jumps in time Five has to have energy to do so hence why in the apocalypse he cannot just simply make the jump even if he has the equation to do so. This also aids to why he waits even within the commission, not only is he searching for that perfect equation, but he is also trying to build energy and body mass akin to what he had before the Apocalypse.

The math that Five utilizes for time travel is also only a part of it. Like with spatial jumping, time jumping and time travel in general is partially instinct. It is why he can jump in time in the same place ( his consecutive jumps that lead to the apocalypse ), but further jump in time to a completely different place ( the Icarus Theater to Dallas Jump ). However having the math and equations greatly help him with his accuracy, like the jump from Dallas back to 2019 in season 1 ( not to be confused with the first instance of this jump in season 2, and the second jump that happened with the brief case ).

When it comes to running through time, or rewinding time, it is purely instinctual and energy based. If Five does it too much he will collapse. Unlike with his spatial jumps which fail upon panic, the ability to rewind time flourishes in this circumstance and is far easier to do when running off pure adrenaline as it is a way to get away in a way that is far more instinctual for Five, because it deals with him physically running. Five can fast forward time but he has not quite figured out how to do it. Though both fast forwarding time and rewinding time requires him to physically run.

Five’s time travel abilities like his Blinks create portals. Either he is the portal with running through time, or he creates it with his time jumps. His portals are magnetic in nature, and pull things to them like a vortex. Luther is not completely wrong in stating that Five creates a black hole, its just one that also happens to be a temporal anomaly as well.

The portals Five creates are interesting in that depending on the type of portal, and the type of jump he is making he will age down or up depending on when and how is jumping. For an actual portal such as the beginning of season 1 jump, and the end of season 1 jump he has project his consciousness forward. He also must do it for his siblings at the end of season 1, which is why he overshoots their own timeline where they would have been aged down, and ends up in the last place he was which is 1963, and not stuck. I will address him getting stuck in his young body at the end of this headcanon so hang tight. For him the portals are painful as he has to create them and go through them, for his passengers they aren’t, their landings might be, but the actual traversing through the portal is not. And the longer he has them in mind as he is going through the closer in time to him they will be upon landing which is unfortunate, but its alot to think about and even his big brain has limits.

The more practice Five has he will be able to do what the briefcases do. In fact he technically can if in the right frame of mind. Five’s running through time is more precise than it may initially seem and it helps if he has seen all the events that happen. Additionally the three consecutive time jumps in season one, were technically more of Five running through time, rather than jumps. This is because not only was he physically running, but because he did not necessarily change locations as his normal time jumps can do though that is not necessary. There was no portal in these three initial jumps. Five views them as jumps and not runs because he has been conditioned by his father in the way of a jump, rather than a run it is why the advice of “seconds” is so crucial to Five’s first true Time Run.

Five can create temporal loops, though at this point in time they are accidental and he has no control over them. Essentially sending his older self back to 2019 in the second Dallas to 2019 jump, created a temporal loop for that Five and his family.

Five also has the ability to stop time completely very similarly to what the Handler can do, presumably with a watch of hers, or some other Commission device. They could not do this before he became an agent as it is part of his power set, and it is something the found upon their experiments on him. However when Five does it everything will get more of a blue tint akin to his portals and blinks. It feels more natural as the sepia toned freeze feels very artificial. Five does not know how to do this yet, but he will eventually learn, my guess is someone at the Commission tips him off to it, perhaps Dot as a way to make it up to him. 

A very small note: Though likely an editing mistake, the day Five runs away from home he not only freezes time, but he jumps in time when he does a spatial jump from his seat next to Reginald.

Getting Stuck

For Five, getting stuck back in his younger body was inevitable. It would always happen. While it does deal partially with the math, that is not entirely what it is centered on. The key is listening to what Five says upon his return when asked what happened. “In the end I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time.”

Five claims it was just a wrong decimal point, and in a sense he wasn’t wrong. He does tell himself the wrong decimal point, and since he knows that version of himself he’ll believe anything, that decimal point change is what leads to the temporal loop mentioned earlier.

The math mistake that Five makes is much more complicated and mainly deals with a miscalculation of himself at every possible instance of time. This is why he turns back into his smaller self. The closest his self comes to in 2019 when he returns is his thirteen year old body. His consciousness is what he is projecting from himself, not his consciousness and his body. So since a version of himself does not technically exist at the time he goes back to it choose the body closest to that time frame since Five is not considering his current body something he must also project.

Had Five been going back to closer when he left the same result wouldn’t occur because he has already been removed from that portion of the timeline. Its a paradox get over it. As the 10th doctor says its all wibbly wobbly timey wimey. However if Five was going to go back to before he left, he would revert back to his thirteen year old body, and have to deal with a doppleganger UNLESS he did the math correctly and just overwrote the existing Five of that time with himself.

Five was always going to get stuck in his body because a flaw of his is refusing to account for himself in his equations.

The same would not have happened with his siblings because he learned, however the reason we see their younger versions at the end of season one is explained above, and it is they are aging back to when their initial time was and would have overwritten their original forms, or dealt with a second version of their original forms. But Five overshoots the time and so they end up their actual age in 1963 because a version of them does not exist, so it takes their current bodies which were their adult forms.

Five could have brought them back as adults to the time of when he left initially, which was his intended goal for that 2019 to Dallas jump, but that is math that he didn’t quite have a grasp on yet, and still technically doesn’t. As it is what the briefcases use for their ability to transport. It is however something Five is actively working on, for various Ben related reasons. Or at least he was working on it in the back of his mind until the plopped themselves into a different 2019.

That’s all I got for now. I hope this makes a little bit of sense to try and explain Five’s abilities and powers. This always has the possibility to be updated as new comics, and new seasons come out.

Absol's Journey's End progression, act 1: prehardmode

(this post contains sarcasm not marked with /s because a., I'm not targeting any real people and b., It's for emphasis. I will also be explaining things that may not need to be explained to seasoned players in order to make this a little more accessible. Tw for sparse cursing)

wow

I'd like to call myself good at Terraria. I've played across several platforms since patch 1.1 and know way too much about this spectacular sandbox's intricate details. I can blaze through most bosses effortlessly if I'm prepared. I've done playthroughs of every class in expert mode (except summoner, couldn't find a slime staff even after farming :/).

It's so strange to be bitch slapped all the way back to square one just because I've never touched a keyboard before.

I don't remember what my initial key layout was, but currently, the important ones are-

WASD for movement

C for inventory

R for mounts

F for quick heal

B for quick buff

Space for jump

LeftAlt for smart cursor toggle

M for map

Left click for action and right click for interaction, and

Mouse 3 (scroll wheel *press* for grappling hook.

You should've seen my hour-one gameplay. It was sad. I couldn't change directions while jumping. I was regretting choosing expert mode difficulty. If I wasn't using journey mode's research system as a crutch, I'd probably still be pre-skeletron. I didn't even have enough skill to use the step stool accessory, which literally just requires holding up.

But, in the long run, I got better way faster than I could've anticipated. First, however, on irl day 2, I killed the Eye of Cthulhu on my fifth try after being torn apart by its last-resort Wacko Mode 4 times. At that point I was decked out in full gold gear with the fast and piercing jester arrows, so I really felt that the keyboard was holding me back considering that I usually do the eye armorless (admittedly I only had 100 life, but I usually do that too.)

The next day, slime rained. I thought that the king would be free gear, so I warped back to the surface to bring him out. He wasn't. He spawned on top of me, dealing 50+ damage immediately, wiping out half my total HP. I instinctively tried to use the shield dash to get the hell out of there, but I hit the inside of his body, which made me bounce back, which made me get hit again, resulting in death. The fight lasted less than 10 seconds, and I could only see the fucker for two of them.

With my spicy new tendon bow from the eye, I thought in my tilted rage that it would be a good idea to go and beat up the Brain of Cthulhu. I was itching for beefier armor and it was the gateway between me and crimson/molten gear. I set up an arena above the crimson made of two long rows of platforms covered in health regen-boosting campfires. With a stack of its spawn item (thanks journey mode), I brought in the first one to size up what I was dealing with.

I died pretty well. In fact, this is where I died the best out of the whole run so far.

The first attempt went surprisingly well. My lovely and incredibly sexy jester arrows made dealing with the creeper hoardes *relatively* easy. Phase two did not apply to that. I had brought along a burning mace because it had the dual functionality of circling the player or being shot out and coming back again like a baseball on an elastic string. This would theoretically allow me to attack the brain if it was far away and defend myself if it was too close to me. I did not know that the mace had very little knockback while it was spinning. This plan did not work.

ELEVEN atempts of trial and error later, I won. By that point, the creepers alone had dropped enough materials to make the crimson armor without ever actually killing the boss, which is pathetic. But I won, and I didn't cheat. I'm still in the easy baby phase of the game. At this point I'm starting to realize why most players statistically chop down a tree and ditch the game forever.

It's irl day 3. Next up on my blood feud against the children's video game was skeletron, the next step in progression that makes the final boss of prehardmode a little bit easier and the thing preventing me from seeing my hair. I set up and even longer 3-layer arena and prepared to not have fun, as skeletron is known in my head for being a dumb bitch who cheats with fast, homing projectiles and an un-telegraphed chain attack that will instantly kill you if you can't grapple out.

He took two tries. I don't get it. I was probably getting better at the controls by then, but *that much* better? Like, the successful attempt wasn't even that close. Whatever. I was annoyed that the stupid brain gave me so much trouble, and I seemingly couldn't be happy after a boss fight even if it went well. But, since we take those, I proceeded into the dungeon to find a bunch of disposable weapons and, more importantly, the cobalt shield. I didn't have to take knockback anymore. If I rematched the king slime then he was fucking dead.

The clothier moved in and I bought the familiar wig to reveal my luscious locks.

Queen bee is next. The fights were standard, but I learned that she apparently enrages on the surface? I always fight her there, except for this time when I stayed underground for funsies. She was so much easier underground. Good to know, I guess. I could've probably done her before even the Brain.

Because I'd never been able to before and because I happened to find the tavernkeep after the bee fight, I tried out the old one's army which logically and appropriately kicked my ass. It was a reality check for sure (things were going smoothly since after the brain minus movement) but it was also a neat experience.

I mowed through the gobins, finally maxed my hp, and then it became Wall Time. My loadout was now molten armor with the Molten Fury bow and the Sunfury flail (which for some reason has like ninety base dmg??? This is a PREhardmode weapon? It has NO business doing 90+ but hey I'll take it). I was also rocking the blizzard in a balloon, band of regen, fledgeling wings, lightning boots, and shield of Cthulhu. I felt like I was finally strong enough in-game and competent enough with the controls to advance to hardmode. I was finally good enough at the video game to change directions while jumping.

I built a roughly 1,900-block long bridge in hell out of the blast-proof dungeon bricks. My plan was to run far ahead of the wall and just kill it with dynamite. I grinded for a voodoo doll and yeeted it into the lava, murdering Andrew the guide with questionable morals and bringing forth the wall of flesh. Little did absol know that they forgot to pack the main part of their plan, dynamite. I realized this, contemplated in-game self murder to end the hopeless fight early, but then I had an epiphany. What if I didn't cheese the boss and fought it legitimately?

With my epic gamer status and pride on the line and expecting nothing more than failure, I whipped out my good ole 100-gotdamn-damage Sunfury and tore through the Wall's hungry appendages.

This is all cool and good on paper. I'm doing consistent damage and I'm not dying. That's how you kill bosses. Things are going well, life is good.

I check the map and learn that I've already used up two thirds of my hellbridge and that the wall was only just below half health. Oh no. Things are actually not going well and life is bad.

I switch to the bow, hoping that the speed and accuracy result in better DPS. Better it was, and I would be all set if it weren't for the Wall's gimmick. I was indeed doing more damage, but as it loses health, it gets faster. I'm at a point where I have to be running at full speed almost constantly to stay a safe distance away. The Wall's health still isn't in the dark red zone and I'm almost out of road. I'm starting to take steady damage from the exponentially faster eye lasers and leeches. I run out of bridge and have to hop from lava lake to building to lava lake in order to not burn alive in the infernal orange juice. New areas are being revealed on the map because I'm fighting in an area I've literally not been in yet. I'm too busy focusing on not being deep-fried that my aim suffers tremendously. I fumble while switching back to the flail for quality over quantity, costing me precious seconds. The wall now moves faster than my top speed. I mis-time a jump and right before the wall disintegrates me between itself and a building, it dies.

I audibly moan in real life.

I go and check the treasure bag after a few seconds of mental recalibration. I got a laser rifle and a ranger emblem, along with the standard demon heart which I immediately wolf down to slap on the emblem. I guess I'm a ranger now.

Recap:

King Slime: still alive

Eye of Cthulhu: five attempts

Brain of Cthulhu: twelve attempts

Skeletron: two attempts

Queen Bee: two attempts

Wall of Flesh: one attempt

The spirits of light and dark have been released and my gamer status is intact. Absol's next victim-victim relationship is with the Queen Slime, but that'll have to wait until the hardmode post :)

Thank you if you've read this far!! Lemme know what you think about this kind of thing, it was fun

Kindly tagged by @ajoblotofjunk!

1. When you were little, what did you think you’d be when you grew up? Did your reality (or your future plans) come close to that?

I have a feeling it was something to do with working in publishing? Or writing? I mean, literally nobody grows up wanting to do what I actually do right now, to be fair, but I had more than enough years in the NHS to know when to be grateful for a job with decent benefits that lets me pay the rent... (also: admin is cool, kids. Honest.)

2. Do you think of yourself as an urban, suburban, or rural person?

I’ve mostly always lived in that weird bit of greenbelt suburbia just outside London where you hit a green field if you drive ten minutes in most directions (and also hit the M25)? Right now I live in the middle of a town in the greenbelt rather than the actual suburbs, and being in walking distance of everything (including the train station directly into London) is THE BEST. 

3. Do you decorate with carefully matched pieces, or are you eclectic?

I’ve literally only just moved somewhere that has any space for furniture, for the first time ever, and I have an awesome sofa but everything else is still looking a bit mismatched right now? It’s so nice to finally have pictures up on the walls after all these years though!

4. Are you the photographer of your group/family, or do you always want to be in the photos?

I have multiple friends who have Serious Photography Gear, and my sisters tend to take pics for insta etc at family gatherings, so i never really bother taking any myself? Not that I necessarily want to be in said pictures, either...! There are some trips where it’s been like dodging paparazzi because so many people in our group are brandishing DSLs and carting lenses around, and there are already far too many unflattering pictures of me in existence!!

Having said that, I did buy a half-decent camera when I went on safari minus my snappy friends years ago, and I took some gorgeous pics at the time. I don’t think I’ve picked up the poor camera since though, unfortunately!

5. D your thoughts come to you in words (like conversations with yourself) or pictures (abstract, ideas, visions)?’

Definitely conversations... I tend to process everything out loud when my brain is overloaded anyway, and then there’s that whole narrative-planning-thing running in my brain all the time. I mostly write to make it shut up occasionally :)

6. Do you have changing weather seasons where you live, or a relatively continuous climate? Do you wish you lived in the opposite?

We definitely have seasons, but it’s a Maritime climate, which means we’re on the same latitude as all the really cold places, but makes for theoretically much milder seasons (aka clouds and rain all year round, yay!). This climate tends to be a trade off for nice unexciting weather things, and I’m absolutely fine with that... I can handle the cold and the wet but I cannot remotely handle humidity (the summer of 2018 here basically broke me - it was exactly like NYC and I couldn’t function without AC 24/7)

7. When you don’t have obligations, what is your ideal, natural time to get up? To go to bed?

I haven’t had a lot of obligations while I’ve been off work the last couple of months, and it has done awful things to my sleep patterns (I see a new fic chapter drop at 3am and that’s the whole night gone..!).  When I’m in my normal schedule and having to commute, I aim for midnight - 6am to actually sleep. I very rarely actually sleep the whole six hours, or have to set an alarm - but I’m also going to lie there and read the news on my phone for a solid hour after I wake up too, because I loathe mornings.

8. Do you cook? Bake? Or do you prefer to have someone else to that?

Ack, I used to bake quite a bit. Or, rather, I used to bake bake, and would easily spend three days solid without sleeping to make a convoluted birthday cake for a small child, and rock up with three dozen cupcakes to cater for parties. I have baking paraphernalia taking up all my cupboards, but these days it seems weird baking properly when I live alone (shades of Kristin Wieg making that single cupcake in Bridesmaids, much?) and I kind of limit myself to my grandmother’s peanut butter chocolate chip cookie recipe (no seriously, it’s the best thing ever). I can bake, basically (I very rarely ever had a baking disaster), but the spirit doesn’t move me so much these days?

I... can cook? If I really wanted to? I collect cook books and I watch the Food Network for fun, but honestly I have a really small appetite, and by the time I’ve spent time actually making things, I tend to be so bored of it that I end up chucking most of it away? It seems daft to waste the food tbh...

9. Which way do you put your toilet paper? Up and over so it hangs in front? Or dangling below? Does it bother you if it’s done the other way?

Umm so my flat didn’t have a toilet roll holder installed when i moved in four months ago, and I still haven’t bothered actually sorting that out? And when I do get one, it will have to be one of the sideways freestanding ones, soooo.... this is not going to become an issue apparently :)

10. If you had a lot of money, what would be the first selfish, frivolous thing you would do with it? (Not for other people, not for practical purposes, but fun and just because you want to.)

Does actually buying somewhere to live count as frivolous lol?! I mean I’ve done a lot of the major trips I always wanted to do when I was younger (hence why I never had enough for a house deposit, ha.) but I’d love to go back to some of the places in the States I’ve already visited a few times and do them in a more leisurely way and on a decent budget? I’ve driven the whole of the West Coast a couple of times already and I’d love to do it again (and I miss Portland so much!)

In terms of silly things... I’d probably upgrade my BFI membership to the stupidly expensive one that lets you book tickets for everything, and splurge on Curzon and Picturehouse cinema memberships? That’s silly money :) I MEAN I would be tempted to actually go do TIFF in Toronto for once (and stay in a hotel in the middle of town for the whole of LFF so I could go see all the late films without worrying about getting home)... simple things!

I have no clue who has already been tagged for this one, but what the hey - tagging @jenni-rose, @albatrossisland, @aviss, @firesign23, @shipping-receiving, @drunkonsapphires, @djeli-beybi, @geekyogicheese, @raspberryjamtoast, @evilbunnyking if anyone feels so inclined :)

thank you for tagging me!!

okay, well today was fine. I was up at 8:45 and trying to get into the courtroom queue as soon as they opened it because I had an 11:30 doctors appt with my primary care doctor that I couldn’t miss so I needed to be done by then, and amazingly I was like the second case that got in and we were done before it was even 10 am, so that I was very relieved about. I did have a left over clinic case from yesterday but my work buddy was gonna cover the hearing if it got called while I was out. I left for the appointment at like 11:15 even though it’s like a 5 minute walk. It was almost as far as the ups store, just a little bit closer, but given everything that’s going on I wanted to give myself enough time to get there okay in case something happened, but luckily it didn’t and I made it there ok. They had be start filling out some paperwork, though I’d previously done some over the phone, and of course my eyes were also being super blurry and there was a whole checklist for family history of different problems and then space to check what relation to you the [person was, and of course all of this is way too fucking small and I can barely read it, but I did as best as I can, I kinda laughed when we got to the one that’s just like “depression” and I’m like can I just hit all of the above and save myself some time here? lol. not long after that though they came and got me into the back and said not to worry about the rest of the paperwork. so I’m chilling and all, the doctor comes in a few minutes later and we basically just discussed everything that happened, she’s going with the theory that this is all medication side effects and they’re “extrapyramidal symptoms” though I have some doubts as to whether that’s true but I thought it’d be better to discuss it with the neurologist next week. Two like in home PT people are gonna come over tomorrow and start working with me to I guess get more control over things, going on that theory anyway, idk what they’re actually going to do  but I guess we’ll see. Once I was done at the doctors I dared walk up like two blocks where they’re apparently doing the farmer’s market for the neighborhood up there, I think they’d mostly been operating online up to this point and are now just starting the in person one, but sadly they didn’t open till 3 so there was nobody set up yet, oh well not a big deal. That was also really close to my apartment just in the other direction, so getting home from there was easy. I did some work and hung out for a bit , at some point I called the client from yesterday to see what was going on, and she was like, somehow at the courthouse when it was supposed to be remote, and she’d already spoken to the judge and done the hearing and I was like uhhh okay that’s strange but I guess we’ll go with it. did a bit more wake until our 2 pm weekly meeting which was interesting, apparently we might start sending like one person into the office for a few hours just to touch base on everything going on there, mainly because the clerk’s haven’t been emailing anyone the post-court orders but they would theoretically be on sight. Shortly afterwards I spoke to my boss on the phone about something the other lawyer is trying to get us to sign off on it but it’s like, ridiculously terrible so we have to plan about what to do there. When I finished there I thought I could walk over to the farmer’s market now that they’d be open, but after having one successful outing today without any incidents I didn’t want to tempt fate any further, so I stayed in. I had some dinner and chilled for a bit until we recorded the latest podcast episode rewatching the beginning of the show and throughout the first season, so that’s been enjoyable. After that I mostly just chilled for the rest of the night, switched over to Jimmy Fallon around 11 (because Jimmy Kimmel basically ends at that time) for a bit before showering and starting to get ready for bed, and yeah now I’m here. Tomorrow is certainly going to be interesting to say the least, so I’m sure I’ll have plenty to share with you all then, and until then I am going to get some sleep. Goodnight loves. Stay awesome.

little pieces of love

read on ao3!

summary: marielle expresses her love through the forms of stickers and ryan absolutely adores her (Week 11 of my 30 weeks of writing prompts challenge: stickers)

Wc: 1066

Whenever filming for a new season of Buzzfeed Unsolved started, Ryan’s schedule would always be more packed than usual. He would stay late at work for meetings and as much as he loved working on Unsolved, he wished that he could spend more time with his girlfriend, Marielle Scott.

The most reasonable compromise Ryan made with his time was to spend the weekends with Marielle, usually at the beach or out exploring, and to work on the weekdays, even Fridays if needed. Even though he spent the weekends with Marielle, he still wished he could spend more time with his wonderful girlfriend. 

Marielle was also really busy as she had a lot of work as an actress but she also noticed that Ryan seemed to always want more time with her. She knew that they were doing the best they could with both of their jam-packed schedules so she brainstormed a solution to solve this dilemma and that solution happened to involve stickers.

The first encounter Ryan had with the stickers was the day that Marielle had to leave Friday morning for the weekend since she had to shoot a movie in Utah. Even though Ryan and Marielle didn’t live together, Marielle still went the distance to slip into Ryan’s apartment while he was sleeping to pack him a lunch and filled up a reusable water bottle with a whale sticker and a sticky note that read “I love you so much! Please stay hydrated this weekend and don’t forget to call❤️”. 

That single event was enough to brighten Ryan’s day entirely and at work, he couldn’t suppress his smile whenever he saw the whale sticker on the water bottle and thought of Marielle and her radiant laugh. Thanks to Marielle, Ryan drank a healthy amount of water, something that he didn’t usually do as he never really felt the need to chug down so many cups of water. 

When Marielle returned on Monday, Ryan drove over to her place and made dinner for them, deciding to ask her about the sticker. As they talked over the first meal Ryan had made by himself in over a month (there was a reason why Postmates was one of the most used apps on his phone), Ryan brought up Marielle’s kind gesture and Marielle excitedly showed Ryan her extensive sticker collection. She had stickers of all different shapes and sizes all organized in a folder. The variety of stickers was honestly astonishing as they ranged from simple, colorful shapes to complex artistically designed decals that could be used to decorate high-end houses.

“I’ve been collecting stickers ever since I was a child. I like to think of these stickers as little pieces of love. My favorite ones are the shiny ones,” Marielle remarked, her sea-glass green eyes glinting with passion as she spoke. She proudly held up a sheet of glittery butterfly stickers. “I got this one from my third-grade teacher because I finished my reading log first.”

“Wow, that’s impressive. Theoretically, what would happen if you ran out of stickers?” Ryan asked, almost wincing as he was sure his unintentional curiosity spoiled the sweet moment. Instead of ruining the moment, he seemed to lighten the mood as Marielle giggled, opening her folder wider to show Ryan all the sheets of stickers that it held. Somehow, the folder was still intact even though it appeared to be holding approximately three thousand sheets of stickers.

“With this assortment? I don’t think it’ll run out so it’s a perfect metaphor for my love,” Marielle explained and Ryan wanted to cry because he didn’t know what on Earth he did to deserve to call such an amazing human being his. 

The next time Marielle has to leave Los Angeles to shoot a film up in Canada, she left Ryan a dog sticker on the back of his laptop along with a sticky note that read, “Don’t forget to take breaks between editing! Also, don’t forget to eat healthy meals or else the lettuce monster will haunt you in your sleep.” Next to those words, Marielle drew a small lettuce with arms, legs, and a comically angry expression.

Ryan though that the note and the dog sticker were the only messages Marielle left behind but he was proven wrong when he walked into his kitchen to grab a snack and saw a sticky note that had a sticker of a bundle of red roses on it that read “Good morning! Or evening! Either way, I hope you’re doing well and this is just a reminder for you to remember to smile because your smile is so beautiful <3”. 

Throughout the next week, Ryan found various sticky notes around his apartment that all had positive, heartwarming messages that always brightened his day. Even Shane noticed the change as he commented about how Ryan didn’t seem like a zombie in the mornings before he had coffee anymore. 

The notes made Ryan miss Marielle more and although he called her almost every single night, he still wished she was here physically with him. The notes also inspired Ryan to create a gift for Marielle when she returned to Los Angeles after wrapping up her shoot in Canada.

First, Ryan gathered his favorite photos of him and Marielle and created a collage, making sure to leave some space between the photos and space for the border. He gathered all the post-it notes that Marielle had left and taped them around as a border for the photos and filled in the empty space with the stickers that Marielle stuck around his apartment. Ryan was never an arts and crafts guy but Marielle’s notes always made his day so much better and he wanted to show gratitude rather than just saying it plainly with words. 

When Marielle returned, Ryan drove her to her apartment, where he had set up the gift, and the moment that the door opened, Marielle saw Ryan’s gift surrounded with a few sheets of shiny stickers, her favorite kind and a bouquet of roses that looked familiar to the sticker of a bouquet of roses that Marielle had stuck with a post-it note. Marielle threw her arms around Ryan’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. As it turns out, little pieces of love do add up over time and these stickers would forever be the reminder of their love for each other.

20 Penguins Thoughts: Improvement involves more than a potential trade  January 29, 2019 8:00 AMBy Jason Mackey / Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Look at what Jim Rutherford did on Monday, trading Jamie Oleksiak back to Dallas for a 2019 fourth-round draft pick, and it’s fairly easy to conclude that the Penguins general manager has his sights set on doing something.

Fine. Trade away, Jim. Shoot your shot.

But is a swap for a third-line center, or even an impact winger, going to fix this? Highly doubtful.

Not that the Penguins are a dysfunctional group, either. They aren’t. They’re still a very good team. But no matter what move Rutherford makes, if the Penguins play like they did Monday, they’re simply not a trade away from another Stanley Cup run.

“If we’re going to be successful,” Matt Cullen was saying after the Penguins’ 6-3 loss to the New Jersey Devils at PPG Paints Arena on Monday night, “we’re going to have to be a lot harder to play against.”

The 42-year-old has never been more right.

Kevin Hayes, Radek Faksa, Charlie Coyle, Micheal Ferland — all dream acquisitions by Penguins fans, for perfectly understandable reasons — aren’t going to solve the problem by themselves. Neither is shipping out Jack Johnson or calling up Teddy Blueger or whatever other Band-Aid has been applied.

Heck, the Penguins got creamed by the Devils, and Derick Brassard was actually half-decent. What the Penguins will need to fix this — and snap out of a stretch that has included five losses in eight games — is much larger than one or two players.

So, what realistically must happen?

2. Work ethic, urgency and competitive spirit were the terms being thrown around the Penguins dressing room late Monday, and it’s hard to argue with any of them.

The power play also has to be better; those five players need to be a factor, and they can’t keep allowing short-handed goals at this rate. They need to get Evgeni Malkin right, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Penguins coach Mike Sullivan’s move is to pull him off the top unit, as crazy as that might sound. No more bad turnovers. Let him focus on other areas.

The Penguins also must defend better than they did against New Jersey, and there’s simply a lack of urgency that shouldn’t exist at this point in the season, especially not for a team that fancies itself as a Stanley Cup contender.

I do have five questions for the home stretch, but I’ll get to those shortly. First, a couple loose ends.

3. I thought Sidney Crosby had some really strong stuff to say after Monday’s loss. He’s usually fairly positive, never too down, but the captain seemed fairly mad after this one.

What lacked against the Devils: “Everything. Execution. Urgency. Those are probably the biggest two. Pretty important ones.”

The NHL-worst 11 short-handed goals the Penguins have allowed: “I mean, it’s 11. I think it could probably be a couple different things depending on the play. It’s not a stat we’re proud of, that’s for sure.”

On needing to correct things with Tampa coming in: “We can say everything we want to say. We can say all the right things. We have to go out there and do it.”

Good for him. No one has a stronger voice than Crosby. And every word is he said is true.

4. Here’s why I think Rutherford could do something, and soon: Why else let Jamie Oleksiak go for a fourth-round pick?

Perhaps because Rutherford knows he’s going to need the space soon, and this was what he figured was his best available opinion.

That’s what I think, anyway.

“It just puts us in a position when something comes along — which, it will — over the next few weeks here,” Rutherford said when I asked what this means moving forward in our phone conversation early Monday evening. “It’ll put us in a position for other options because of the cap space.”

Which it will. Rutherford knows his phone will be ringing, and you know he’ll answer.

Yes, it was about having too many defensemen and Justin Schultz coming back soon, but that’s not a reason to make the trade now, for that return.

Doing it now, and not when Schultz returns in early February — remember, he has yet to skate with the team — sends a signal that Rutherford is open for business and able to potentially absorb some salary.

5. Switching gears a little bit … why hasn’t Teddy Blueger been gotten a shot? You guys/girls ask this a lot.

With 21 goals and 39 points in 45 games with Wilkes-Barre/Scranton of the AHL, it’s a totally reasonable question, especially considering Blueger plays in all situations and isn’t defensively deficient.

When I talked to Rutherford before Monday’s game, I asked him exactly that: Why hasn’t Blueger been given a chance?

“It’s a positional thing,” Rutherford said. “He’s played well enough to be here. When it’s been time to recall a player, the players that we’ve recalled can play the wing.

“We haven’t been in a position where we’ve had to call up a center. Teddy doesn’t play the wing. He only plays center. It’s a more-than-fair question. He has done what he’s needed to do to put himself in position to play at this level.”

6. I see Rutherford’s point. Blueger isn’t a wing, and the Penguins would theoretically be doing a disservice to him by playing him out of position, even if I know many of you are going to say, “Well, just shift someone else there.”

I don’t think the Penguins would want a fourth line with two guys playing out of position — probably Riley Sheahan and Matt Cullen — to accommodate a rookie playing his first NHL game.

7. Which led to this follow-up question that I posed to Rutherford: Is there a scenario you see unfolding where Blueger could get a chance this season.

His answer: “I don’t see it with the guys that we have here now.”

I found that answer interesting: “With the guys that we have here now.”

On one hand, that means no; Blueger’s staying in the minors. On the other, I suppose that could change if Rutherford trades Brassard or even Riley Sheahan, although I don’t think using Blueger as a regular is something the Penguins want to force.

8-12. To me, there’s five key questions for the Penguins coming out of the All-Star break. Addressing those will occupy this and the following four spots.

The first involves Malkin. Can he rediscover the form he found during the second half of last season, when he led the NHL in points (62) from Jan. 1 through the end of the regular season?

Taking him off the top power play might be one option. Maybe trying some other people on his left wing. Shoot, maybe even sit Malkin down for a game, just to change something up, although I admittedly don’t love that option.

But I think Malkin is pressing and his confidence is lacking, which is a bad combination.

“Obviously we’d like him to have more of a positive impact on the game,” Sullivan said after Monday’s game. “He’s such a talented player. He’s such an accomplished player. I know how much he cares about this team, this organization and trying to help us win. Part of my responsibility as his coach and our staff is we’re trying to help Geno through this process and try and help him capture his very best game. We’ll continue to work with him.”

9. What happens when Schultz returns?

You know he’s going to slot into the top-four. But more than that, with whom does Schultz play? Olli Maatta? Is he effective? Does he get top power-play reps? The latter part is interesting given that unit’s current situation.

I also look at Schultz like a trade-deadline acquisition. His presence alone could give this group a nice little jolt of life.

10. Where’s Matt Murray at?

It’s hard to criticize Murray after Monday’s game. No, he wasn’t great, but neither was the team in front of him. And this is a guy who was 10-1 since returning from a lower-body injury, with a 1.81 goals-against average and .944 save percentage before the Devils game.

Expecting those numbers might be a bit much, but the Penguins will want and need something close here to make a push over the final 40 percent of the season.

11. What’s the final verdict on Brassard?

Brassard was actually decent Monday, although hardly enough to quash any of the ongoing trade talk.

Given acquisition cost, don’t rule out the Penguins sticking with Brassard, although I would imagine that, if they do, Rutherford would probably like to add another piece to get more from that line.

12. How does this Metro mess sort itself out?

The Metropolitan Division is an interesting place right now.

The Islanders are in first place, have allowed a league-low 118 goals, and Barry Trotz is looking like the Jack Adams Award winner. The Capitals, meanwhile, have lost seven in a row and look lost.

The Blue Jackets are hanging around, and the Penguins are in fourth place, with the Hurricanes just four points behind.

That’s a long-winded way of saying that plenty can still happen, and the margin for error is rather small.

13. Moving on … I loved what Kendall Coyne Schofield, Brianna Decker and others did at the NHL All-Star Game, but I still wish it would have been executed differently.

For one, they should have been paid, especially Decker after winning the premier passer event.

You can treat this like a statement-making sort of event all you want, which I think the NHL did. But when you pay the event winners, pay the winning team of the All-Star Game $1 million and award a car to the MVP … and you don’t see a need to earmark anything for these women — who make nothing close to NHL players — until there’s negative reaction over it, I question how much of a statement you were really trying to make.

14. Also, why not show all of them demonstrating the drills? And why not talk, while Coyne Schofield was flying, about her own career, Northeastern, Team USA women’s hockey, whatever. Anything aside from her husband who plays for the Chargers.

Or, here’s a final thought: Why not promote the upcoming series between Team USA and Hockey Canada in Detroit and London, Ontario?

If you have a platform, use it.

15. One more about Coyne Schofield and Decker …

Being in the building, the buzz created was amazing. It also made me think about something that I’d love to see: a National Women’s Hockey League (NWHL) team in Pittsburgh.

I think it would work, too. There are so many fervent and intelligent female hockey fans here, plus there’s great infrastructure in place for it with UPMC Lemieux Sports Complex and how naturally intertwined it would be with the Penguins.

Have no clue on logistics or anything like that, or whether it’s even remotely possible, but if the team won, I think it could do really well.

16. I find NHL commissioner Gary Bettman’s stance on current labor negotiations … interesting.

He keeps repeating the phrase, “We’re not looking for a fight.”

Great, but your fans don’t care. They just want the product.

And it positions the players, if they ask for anything that’s even remotely reasonable, as the bad guys.

17. Media day must be handled better next year.

You’ll notice that neither Crosby nor Kris Letang was there. They were among the seven of 44 players who did not make it. That’s too many.

But I don’t blame Crosby or Letang. Why should they give up a day of their bye week when the All-Stars who are on theirs from Jan. 27-31 will get five full days?

It’s also not fair to the fans who bought tickets to the event — held inside San Jose’s City National Civic theater — expecting to hear those two or others. I also understand why those who played Wednesday night weren’t there.

My solution: Put a dark day in the schedule, to ensure 100 percent participation. There’s no sense wasting fans’ or media members’ money and ticking off your players … for what?

18. While we’re at it, I also think the Skills Competition needs tweaked.

I think the fastest skater, hardest shot and accuracy shooting events are fine the way they are. Leave those alone. Let’s concentrate on the other ones.

The puck control event was OK, but I don’t see how casual fans might keep the event on their TVs to watch a dude stickhandle around cones. Too boring. Need to spice it up a little.

Secondly, the whole event slowed to a crawl during the save streak-intermission-premier passer part of the evening. Has to be tighter to keep viewers’ attention.

Have goalies stop as many breakaways as they can until they’re done. If it’s two, so be it. They’re done.

Then simplify the passing thing. I don’t need to see poor Mikko Rantanen suffering through 2:17.379, then having to watch seven more heats.

The Skills Competition has some interesting elements. I think it can be watchable, as opposed to the game itself, which is a little too gimmicky for my taste.

But it needs to be tighter, falling somewhere in the 90-minute range start to finish.

19. I was not at all surprised to hear deputy NHL commissioner Bill Daly’s answer when I asked whether the Penguins are being considered for international events.

“Yes,” was what Daly said, with a wide smile.

As they should be.

How does one of the NHL’s marquee U.S. teams, with the league’s most recognizable player and some seriously high-end talent, not get included in this stuff?

The Penguins haven’t played internationally since going to Stockholm, Sweden in 2008. Whether it’s China, Germany, Sweden, Switzerland or the Czech Republic — all destinations on the horizon — the Penguins should get asked to go.

And soon, if you ask me.

20. I liked seeing Toronto’s Auston Matthews rip off his own Maple Leafs sweater to show support for teammate Patrick Marleau, who’s nothing short of a legend out here.

I think it’s part of what should be a push by players, especially the younger ones, to showcase more personality whenever possible.

I know the NHL is a different animal, and it’s never going to rival the NBA or NFL in terms of pure entertainment for casual fans.

But if the league can do something, anything, to become even a little less bland — including players speaking their minds instead of offering milquetoast quotes they fear might upset someone — I think it would be a good thing.

Jason Mackey: [email protected] and Twitter @JMackeyPG.

Meet Ryan North, Writer on Bravest Warriors

And lots of other stuff too: you probably know Ryan from his writing on the Adventure Time and Unbeatable Squirrel Girl comic book series. He’s also the mind behind the iconic Dinosaur Comics, in which clip art T-Rex, Utahraptor and Dromiceiomimus philosophize on the tri-weekly. He may be the biggest comics star out there who doesn’t draw!? Regardless, I’d like to see a challenger face off against him; he is, apparently, very tall. I caught up with Ryan just as he was in the midst of ECCC 2018:

When did you know you wanted to be a writer, or did it just kind of happen?

There was no "sit straight up in bed at midnight, suddenly wide awake, and whisper 'I want to be a writer'" moment, if that's what you're wondering!  But it's always been something I enjoyed. I went to school for computer science (and have a masters in computational linguistics) but when I graduated I had the choice to a) get a real job, or b) be a writer, and all I had to do to become a writer was fail to get a real job. And it turns out it's really easy to not get a job!

Having studied computer science, you created tech for webcomic authors - how did those projects come about? What other ways have your programming skillz intersected with your creative career?

That's true! The thought process was basically, "There is a service that does not exist, so I guess I'll have to write it.” There were a couple: RSSPECT for rss feed generation (remember RSS? I MISS IT), and Project Wonderful for advertising that doesn't suck. That continues on to this very day!  And of course when it came to writing Squirrel Girl for Marvel, I made her a computer science student too, so there's the intersection.

So if you don’t draw, what motivated you to get into comics - were you just that big a fan?

I was more of a fan in abstract, really - I couldn't get comics growing up, and this was before the internet. But then when I got a job as an undergrad, I took my first paycheque and walked into a comic shoppe and just started buying things at random, and loved them all, so it was nice that my theoretical interest in comics was actually real. I started Dinosaur Comics - my fixed art webcomic - in my last year of undergrad.

Did you discover the dinosaur artwork for Dinosaur Comics - or did they find you?

Some would argue, quite convincingly, that they are a universal constant, and can never be either created or destroyed.

What do you consider your finest accomplishment?

I would like to go to two places: Antarctica and space. I sell plush T-Rexes from Dinosaur Comics at topatoco.com/qwantz, and some AMAZING READERS brought him to both the South Pole, and the edge of space. It is a weird feeling to be jealous of a fictional character you created, but it's a good one. And I'm gonna take all the credit for T-Rex's accomplishments here, even though I had nothing to do with them.

What can you tell us about your writing process? What would you recommend to young writers trying to get disciplined/motivated?

Figure out where and how you work. You have to be honest with yourself. For example, I know that I work best in the morning, and I rarely do good work after 5pm. So I get up at 7am and I write until it's 5pm, and then I stop. I also know that I work best alone, so I don't go to coffee shops or hang out with friends to write. If I'm working, I'm alone. Knowing this lets me set up the circumstances that help me get work done. It's more fun to hang out with friends, but at least this way when I do it I know it's hanging out, so I don't try to work during it, and I can enjoy it for what it is instead of feeling guilty about not working.

Does it work pretty smoothly, writing comics like Squirrel Girl and Adventure Time and having them illustrated by other (super talented) folks?

I've been really lucky, I think, in always collaborating with amazing people.  Braden Lamb and Shelli Paroline were my partners on Adventure Time, and we just clicked as a team and we're still great friends, years after the book ended.  We even made our own comic together: The Midas Flesh, published by Boom! BOX - it's about King Midas in space. And with Squirrel Girl it's the same - Erica (Henderson) and I get along great and my favourite thing is getting back art from her - or any artist - because you get to see your words and scenes transformed into pictures that are even better than you imagined.  

What are your thoughts about writing branching narratives / "make your own story" books - are they the Future? What are the biggest challenges, and what have you been most proud of in that area?

I mean, I like them! I like how they capture a lot of the semantics of gaming in a different medium. The challenge is keeping track of state: in a game you can pick up a sword or not pick up a sword, and that's easy: just set a variable. In a book you need to have a choice to pick up that sword, and then every option after that choice has to be duplicated, or else you lose track of whether they picked up the sword or not. There are ways to get around this but most of them involve cheating in some way (ie: just asking the reader if they have the sword, to which they will always say, "Oh yes absolutely, I just love swords especially now that I know they're useful.” So it's always something to keep in mind.

I guess the most impressive thing we had happen was the Kickstarter for To Be or Not To Be: my chooseable-path version of Hamlet.  We raised over $580,000 (for a book!), which was the most-funded publishing project on Kickstarter at the time. That was a crazy book.

How did you come to write for Bravest Warriors?

I was already a fan of the show (having come in after the first season) so it was a matter of saying yes when I was asked if I was interested!  I WAS.

What are your favorite things about Beth, Danny, Wallow and Chris?

For me it's the teamwork: these are people who mess up - and save - the universe on the regular. Also, I love competent characters, and Beth is clearly the most competent character of the bunch. BETH4EVER.

What's your favorite thing about Bravest Warriors in general?

The series is set both in the future AND in space, which are my favourite time periods / general locales to be in. It opens things up to basically any kind of story you can imagine, which is terrific. No idea is too out-there for the Bravest Warriors, which is super fun for a writer, and hopefully super-fun to watch too!  In my first episode (RoboChris) I got to invent an evil robot Chris, and everyone said "Okay, awesome, let's absolutely go with that”.

If you had to describe your writing style in a few words, how would you?

Enthusiastic! And also maybe a little teeny eensie bit wordy.

What are your favorite cartoons, and the biggest inspirations of your work?

I grew up on The Real Ghostbusters, and I loved that that show wasn't afraid to tackle big ideas in what was supposed to be just a tie-in show for a goofy movie (SORRY BUT GHOSTBUSTERS IS GOOFY). It's a lesson I try to take with me: you don't need to talk down to kids, teens, anyone: they're smart, and they'll pick up what you're laying down. Plus that show had Slimer, which I will argue RIGHT NOW is the original Catbug. The longer I get into answering this question the more parallels I see!

Would you ever want to make your own cartoon?

OBVIOUSLY, THAT WOULD BE AMAZING.

(Slimer. Anyone want to draw him and Catbug as best pals?!)

Which 5 books / comics / movies / seasons of TV would you have on a desert island - a desert island with a functional entertainment center?

1. Babylon 5 (all 5 seasons, though we all know you only really need seasons 1-4 and then the “Sleeping in Light” finale in Season 5)

2. A complete print-out of Wikipedia, bound as a book in order to satisfy the requirements of this question.

3. Star Trek TNG (all 7 seasons, thank you)

4. A complete run of Action Comics (because that's gotta keep me busy for a while)

and let's say for the last one...

5... the Bravest Warriors comics by my good friend Joey Comeau (THEY ARE AWESOME AND SO IS HE).

Are you living the dream? Cause it kinda seems like you're living the dream?

I'm 2m tall and I've got my own dog and I've only gotten trapped in a hole once!  THAT IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF LIVING THE DREAM.

Thanks for the interview Ryan! Best of luck in all current and future projects. We look forward to seeing more of the work you do and the holes you get yourself out of.

- Cooper

Carmilla Movie Teaser Trailer Theory Updates

Based off the clothes, I’m guessing the Carmilla movie is set in the 1870s, putting it at the same time the original novel was written. But it would also be at least 15 years after the Bronte sisters died. (Maybe affirming other’s theories that they could be vampires??) That would however mean we are in perfect time to meet L! The only thing which makes me question this is that the background characters at the masquerade ball appear to be wearing clothes that vary from the 1860s into the 1880s. The mansion itself was built in 188(2-3) according to the historian in the behind the scenes video). So I dunno. Somewhere near there. 

Although, of course, part of the movie is set in our time period... Which everyone’s been freaking out about for quite a while now. And yes, I am also freaking out. There’s a theory a little later (kinda) on how that happens.

(Note: I’m probably gonna call Natasha/Carmilla and Elise/Laura interchangeably... I have a bad habit of doing that. I do know they aren’t the same person.)

Domestic Hollstein

First shot we get is a very odd angle, leading me to believe it’s meant to be disorienting. Maybe it’s after a dream sequence? Carm is still laying down after Laura sits up. It appears to be a normal human morning. Also, that headboard is BEAUTIFUL.

The next shot in their home is on their couch with the reddish pillow. Laura wakes up on Carm’s lap wearing the same royal green tank top as the first scene (and same color as the headboard. God that thing is pretty.) It appears she’s waking up from a dream again... So I wonder if that’s part of what leads them to the house? She also doesn’t seem concerned though, leaning happily back into Carmilla as Natasha plays with her fingers, looking like she may also be ready to doze off. So part of me wonders if this is the first shot of the movie. Maybe there are some short opening credits of places to come but not in too scary of a manner, and this is the first scene we really get to see? That would be cool. And make us all cry and squeal :) 

The Living Room Scene

At :25 Natasha is shown with what appears to be medical tape on her face beside her eye and on her neck below her chin, both on her right side. She is sitting fairly relaxed but clearly a bit annoyed. The gingers are grilling her looking interested, and Elise is deep in thought.

Is this when they begin to realize Carmilla is “re-vamping”? Or maybe she was attacked by something which will lead them to the old mansion? The scene does take place at Laura and Carm’s apartment (assumed, because Elise woke up on Carm’s lap on that couch next to that reddish-maroonish cushion). 

WAIT THOSE AREN’T BANDAGES! I think those are electrodes! And Laf is looking at the results live on their tablet. Perry is probably asking survey questions as part of the experiment. It’s probably to discover what is going on which might be causing the revamping!

OR MAYBE Natasha starts having the dreams of L, and Laura’s all like “UH NO THAT’S NOT OKAY” and Carm doesn’t want to get rid of them and that’s why she’s annoyed but they agree to let Laf test them, and then this happens and YES.

Carm appears to answer a question near the end of the shot showing me that it’s not just a b-roll shot to introduce a scene but an actual camera angle. Because of the panning, I wonder if it’s part of a montage of them trying to figure out what’s going on. It could possibly just be one of multiple cameras rolling at once though. 

The Lightning Scenes

When they first get to the house, they are in modern clothes and bring what looks like enough stuff to stay for a few days. The house is quiet and empty. Everything is worn and dimn. They use flashlights. Then there are shots of lightning, mirrored by shots of a similar sort in the past.

The only person not holding a flashlight is Perry who is holding a dark gray-black box which looks like some sort of detector. My first thought was a geiger counter, for measuring radiation, something which Laf would certainly have and Perry would likely prefer over an EMF detector for ghost hunting. Especially since she’s wearing thick gloves which theoretically could make a character feel more safe in a place with radiation (although wouldn’t actually do much good). That said, an emf would make more sense in the setting. 

Note also, the painting and hallway behind Laferry. Painting was seen in behind the scenes photos and apparently has goats. (Relevant info? Or were they just not allowed to take it down...). The hallway is featured later in a scene with with more lightning.

Speaking of, the lightning flashes to transition to Dominique looking in a mirror with her hand up, looking amazed. L amazed to be alive again? L ecstatic to feel beautiful? She also looks scared. Is she scared of going to the ball? Scared to see Carmilla? Scared, because she doesn’t know why she’s alive again?

The next time lightning is shown is right after we see Dominique’s face looking annoyed but confident. She is of course dressed for the 19th century. Our usual cast, however, is dressed for modern day. I wonder if this is how they are brought into the past? The lightning? Carmilla does look really suspicious. Laura looks shocked. Perry looks like she’s about to pass out. Laf looks like they’re about to take some major samples. 

The next lightning occurs with someone running down a hallway. Due to the lighting and my vision, I can’t tell who it is. Can anyone else tell? They look back then speed up to go down the stairs as if they are being chased by a monster. It reminds me of older depictions of Carmilla as such. 

Does the lightning have something to do with Carm’s revamping? And how does it cause them to go back in time?

The Ballroom Scene

So it’s a masquerade ball, but it also appears to be in a small room for such an event. There is maybe 20 people. I wonder if this has to do with budget and space or if it’s significant in the plot? The main characters who wear dresses appear to be dressed for the 1870s. The background characters for the 1860s and 70s, maybe a few for the 80s. I wonder if this is intentional or not? Or maybe my googling just doesn’t give me enough information?

We also see Kirsch dancing with a woman. I can’t actually tell who it is though... I don’t know if it’s due to my vision problems or if it’s supposed to be hard to tell though. From there, we see Dominique with her mask on smirking like she’s about to blow up the place or something. 

Laura Clearly realizes whatever is going on first in the following scene and goes to stop it before Laf and Carm have even caught on, leaving them like wtf laura again?

And then? OOOOHHHHH AND THEN I believe after the drama of the ballroom scene, they retire into their room... Their gowns may be ruined by now, or maybe they just want to get out of all that lace. (I mean, Carm must be ready to shred that thing by now. Seriously.) Except they get distracted... by each other... in corsets... CALL BACK SEASON ONE

VIRGIN SACRIFICE NO EFFING MORE

(Also, I think that earlier shot of Carm running her fingertips gently over Elise’s lips comes from this scene. Natasha is wearing the same ring here, and you can see that Elise is wearing white. 

Other

The second bit we see, the bit which fascinates me to no end, is hollstein, together in the dark in theatrical moonlight. I can’t quite put my finger on what’s going on with Elise... It’s as if the moment we see is a moment of transition. Maybe Laura was fighting back at this figure but stopped when she realized who it was. But, me slightly having a ginormous crush, I was more focused on Natasha... Who, in this scene, appears to be wearing the costume of “the woman in black”. Dominique’s outfit on Carmilla? So is this a disguise for Carmilla? Or is there some sort of magic that makes Dominique appear to look like Natasha? Or is Carmilla the descendent of the woman in black? I thought, for a moment, maybe that Dominque could be playing past Carm as their expressions and movements appear to be quite similar as far as what we’ve seen, but they could have easily (well, not easily) had Natasha play both if that was the case. So i don’t believe that’s it. But something fishy is going on for sure.

(Also, Natasha’s hair in that shot is absolutely breathtaking and I want to touch it??) 

And then there is the dining room scene where everyone appears to be sitting around an extravagant meal. The Bronte sisters are present and appear to be taking a majority of the attention. Whatever they’re talking about worries the rest of the cast. 

Also, they are wearing modern day clothes, and the Bronte sisters don’t seem to care. Did they have something to do with aforementioned lightning?? 

And the last thing I’m going to mention is 1:10 to 1:12 where two characters appear to be facing one another in a very ominous situation, one dressed in Dominique’s signature outfit (although we have seen Natasha wearing it as well as I already talked about.) So is this a reveal? It’s certainly something...

Ah I’m so excited!!! What do you guys think?! Did I miss anything??

Episode 01: We Only See Each Other At Weddings And Funerals - Transcription

https://brollybuddies.podbean.com/e/episode-01-we-only-see-each-other-at-weddings-and-funerals/

** **

[Intro Music]

Mia [0:09] Hello, and welcome to Brolly Buddies

Josh [0:11] a podcast about umbrellas and academies.

Mia [0:13] Yeah, specifically The Umbrella Academy, the Netflix adaptation, of er.

Josh [0:19] Yes,

Mia [0:20] the wonderful comics.

Josh [0:22] I’m Josh

Mia [0:23] I’m Mia

Josh [0:24] and we are in no way qualified to talk about this other than the fact that we enjoy the comics. We’ve enjoyed the comics thus far.

Mia [0:33] Enjoy a good comic, enjoy a good TV show.

Josh [0:35] We are not specialists in comics, or TV shows really.

Mia [0:40] Or trivia or anything really-

Josh [0:43] everything you will hear-

Mia [0:43] -podcasting…

Josh [0:45] probably could be googled, more efficiently.

Mia [0:48] Probably will be googled, whilst

Josh [0:50] Well, yeah

Mia [0:51] We are making the sounds

Josh [0:54] Making the sounds?

Mia [0:54] (laughter) I was gonna say whilst you hear it, but that’s not how time works, so…

Josh [1:01] Oh, yeah-

Mia [1:02] ‘Cause it’s not live

Josh [1:02] True. No, it’s not unless you’ve traveled back in time, Number Five… spoilies!

Mia [1:11] Oooh

Josh [1:13] So I would assume that if you’re listening to this, you know what Umbrella Academy is, unless you are a bumbershoot enthusiast.

Mia [1:20] Please explain what a bumbershoot is

Josh [1:21] A bumbershoot is an old word for an umbrella, which I think should have been the decided term. Like, like when, when, as a society we decided what to call an umbrella. And they went, do you wanna call it an umbrella, or do you wanna call it a bumbershoot? Bumbershoot please.

Mia [1:35] (laughter)

Josh [1:36] It sounds like steampunk weapon.

Mia [1:39] It does actually.

Josh [1:40] I’m gonna bumbershoot you!

Mia [1:43] So why- why is this something that you wanted to talk about and are excited about? And (laughter)

Josh [1:49] We said we wanted to do a podcast. We said we wanted to do a podcast, and sadly, we went through should we do a Riverdale podcast? Oh wait no it’s on Season Three now. Should we do a Star Trek podcast? Wait we don’t know enough about Star Trek and it’s on Season Two now. So, we are actually - so the rule is that we’re not allowed to watch the next episode of Umbrella Academy, despite already knowing the story, because we’ve read the comics, but to make sure that we get proper like, viewing experience. We’re not going to watch the next episode until we’ve done the podcast.

Mia [2:19] Yes, we’ll see how that goes…

Josh [2:20] Which has meant that it’s been two weeks, roughly, since we watched the first episode, well we’ve re-watched it. But since our first like watching of it, it’s been two weeks. And I’m desperate at this point to watch the next episodes.

Mia [2:33] Yeah, also everyone else has definitely seen it all. But that’s fine.

Josh [2:35] Yeah, so this is probably a useless podcast

Mia [2:37] You know, art for art’s sake. That’s all I’ve got to say. We had thought about doing an umbrella Academy one for a while because we were Thought Bubble in Leeds

Josh [2:48] We were, when, so this is in 2017 when Gerard Way was there for the kind of opening ish time period of Young Animal, which is the DC imprint he kind of heads up, which is great, by the way, it introduced me to Doom patrol, which is such a clear influence on Umbrella Academy. Like it really is. But regardless of that, and it was there that he was like, “oh, by the way” - I don’t know if that was where he first announced it but it was where we first heard that they were doing the Netflix version of Umbrella Academy so we were like, “Oh, we should do a podcast on this!” And so this is theoretically taken like two, two and a half years to actually, no a year and a half? Two years, something like that, for us to actually do it. And yet we’re still under prepared.

Mia [3:34] What you’re saying is this, this podcast is two years in the making, and you would never know.

Josh [3:39] No.

Mia [3:40] So let’s go back to what The Umbrella Academy is. It is a comic by Gerard Way and

Josh [3:46] Gabriel… Bá?

Mia [3:49] Yeah we’ve been having conversations about whether it’s Gabriel, Gabriel,

Josh [3:54] Gabriel Ba

Mia [3:56] “Bar”, “Bah”, don’t know, apologies

Josh [3:57] We might get this wrong - but Gabriel Bá is how we will say it for now.

Mia [4:03] Yeah. He’s the fantastic artist of the series. And Greard Way of course was

Josh [4:12] the writer

Mia [4:12] originally known to me as to probably most people as the frontman of My Chemical Romance

Josh [4:19] Though, you say that, since Umbrella Academy came out it was like “Gerard Way: who is the Umbrella Academy creator?” and I’m, I’m in like shock that pe- because obviously it must be, when was the last

Mia [4:33] because the past, because children were born in like the 2000s now

Josh [4:36] and basically there’s probably children watching it which were born after My Chemical Romance’s first albums

Mia [4:41] Tragic to me.

Josh [4:42] which also highlights our age. Let’s let’s move on to the Netflix side of things.

Mia [4:47] Yes.

Josh [4:48] So Netflix, have made this, so maybe it’s better but like, especially when you look back over older shows, Netflix synopses are bad. In fact, just today we saw an article or whatever that was in the Radio Times, which was a Netflix description of Doctor Who. This is an example. “Evil aliens. A wacky but brilliant tour guide. Flying through space in a tiny blue box is the trip of a lifetime.” Not really describing Doctor Who in theme, content necessarily, I’m not really sure - it feels a very, very bad synopsis. So in the spirit of that we’re going to look at the Netflix synopsis of the episode. And then like actually talk about it,

Mia [5:30] Also because it might be helpful just to sort of ground you know what actually happens in it.

Josh [5:36] I actually think this is a reasonable one.

Mia [5:37] I do too!

Josh [5:37] Shall I read it out?

Mia [5:38] Go on. Do it in a voice.

Josh [5:39] No. “Years after they rose to fame as young crime-fighting superheroes, the estranged Hargreeves siblings come together to mark their father’s death.”

Mia [5:48] Pretty accurate.

Josh [5:49] Very accurate. It doesn’t actually give away much, I quite like it. I think it’s a reasonable one. So Netflix synopsis: I give it I give it a solid 9 out of 10.

Mia [5:57] It’s quite exciting.

Josh [5:58] It doesn’t give you a hint of how weird it could potentially be.

Mia [6:01] No, it doesn’t. I think there’s a lot of-

Josh [6:05] Hold on, what is this episode called?

Mia [6:07] Ah, this episode is called “We only see each other at weddings and funerals”.

Josh [6:14] Is that from this episode?

Mia [6:16] They don’t say in this episode, b ut it’s kind of hinted at.

Josh [6:21] I don’t know how much I want to give the plot away during this because now we’re actually, even if people have watched it I feel like it’s a bit f a ruiner to kind of just- But, in fact let’s, let’s begin with impressions.

Mia [6:33] Yeah, um, I loved it. When we when we watched it, the first thing that caught my attention was the content warnings, because it was literally like this contains all of the things that you do not want to see.

Josh [6:46] Or you do want to see

Mia [6:48] Well, yeah, or you do want to see. That you don’t want your your child to see

Josh [6:51] yes. That’s why it’s an 18 I believe?

Mia [6:55] Is it an 18? I think it was a 15

Josh [6:57] I think it’s an 18.

Mia [6:59] Okay we’re gonna check.

Josh [7:01] It’s a 15! Does it have the content warnings on the, on the details? Strong violence, injury details, sex references, drug misuse and self harm. I suppose it’s bad. I’ve recently become a little bit interested in fonts. And I have to say the font is great. That Netflix original series font is like slightly Gothic. And I love how like over the top it almost is with that kind of aspect of the serif on it and everything is is it’s wonderful.

Mia [7:31] It’s interesting, because it’s not, it’s well, I don’t know, you’re more versed in comics than I am. But I wouldn’t have thought I would have like

Josh [7:41] No it feels like very much a title.

Mia [7:42] Yeah

Josh [7:43] A title font. Like, I feel like horror, weird things, you need the serif. You need the kind of like, the, and the varying thickness from thin to thick. I think it adds to it. It needs to look Gothic. And that does, the font is very Gothic.

Mia [7:59] So it’s nice it introduces like that kind of side of things, like really quickly, like that’s a clear sort of signifier from it even though like, you know, the way we open, it’s like, oh, it’s Russia, it’s people swimming, cool. You’d just be like, this is normal, fine.

Josh [8:12] And then it gets very weird very quickly.

Mia [8:14] It does.

Josh [8:15] I think the key thing here is obviously like in that opening sequence. You have this bit where it introduces the idea, this key idea that a number of women around the world all got pregnant at the same time. And come back to this actually, slightly when we talk about the differences with the comics, there is a difference in how that is set up. Because the comics definitely have a weirder opening, I think where I think this very quickly establishes kind of the slightly surreal, weird nature of the world by having this woman become pregnant and give birth and everyone’s shocked. But then she gives birth and no one is like,

Mia [8:51] they’re all like, yay, baby!

Josh [8:52] Yeah, they’re not like panicking. If I was to see somebody go from zero to nine months in the space of jumping into a pool, and then a baby to emerge from that that seems to be alive and well

Mia [9:04] I think I’d’ve run away screaming

Josh [9:05] And then a man turns up and offers to, like a British aristocratic man turns up. The, I mean this is communist Russia, let’s not forget, he turns up and he buys your baby, and everyone’s like, “yeah cool”

Mia [9:14] Yeah I mean, it’s terrifying. So we learn and then it kind of goes

Josh [9:19] We learn there’s seven, right, he gets, he manages to get seven of these. There’s many babies, but he manages to get seven of them. And we see them - the other thing here is obviously we’ve got this very grim opening and then the music is 'Picture Book’ by The Kinks, which is a very upbeat song.

Mia [9:31] Yeah.

Josh [9:32] Which weirdly contrasts. It adds to that sense of like, Oh, this isn’t like it’s dark, but it’s kind of got this weird lightness to it.

Mia [9:38] Some might call it contrapuntal music. Ooh, fancy word.

Josh [9:43] But you see the seven prams all numbered, and it cuts to today, so it’s cut in from 1989 to like, today.

Mia [9:49] Yeah

Josh [9:49] We see someone pick up a violin and they play it. Again, adding to the kind of Gothic esque nature, they play the Phantom of the Opera medley. The key key point here, something you pointed out when we were watching it, person playing the violin?

Mia [10:03] Don’t know who she is!

Josh [10:04] Don’t know who she is, like

Mia [10:06] we can imagine

Josh [10:07] We see it’s Ellen Page, right?

Mia [10:08] Oh, yeah.

Josh [10:09] So we know, it’s like somebody who’s gonna be important from that kind of aspect. But she isn’t named whereas what it does is it goes through each of these seven, or rather it goes through

Mia [10:20] five

Josh [10:20] very important the fact that we don’t have Vanya named until, she’s named at the very end I believe.

Mia [10:27] It is the end, yeah

Josh [10:28] Another key thing I noticed on re watching it was that their names are in quotation marks but their numbers are not.

Mia [10:34] Yeah as we as we find out later, like, you know, he, they were not given names by Hargreeves. He had “Mom” do it. They’re - they’re literally just numbers. The other thing that I thought in this opening, especially when I was re-watching it, I was like, hang on a minute. Does Ellen Page play the violin? Is this her? So I had to do a little Google and apparently she did actually do some lessons. She had a couple of lessons in it. But actually, it was like a young violinist, a young Canadian musician, who’s great - Imogen Sloss. Even before it kind of starts introducing everyone we can, I guess we’re like, oh, so these must be the kids but like, we still don’t know anything about them. We don’t know like, what’s-

Josh [11:07] We get a sense of something from their situations.

Mia [11:10] They’re all also on their, like none of them are together.

Josh [11:12] None of them are together. We’ve got Luther, who’s Number One, like, massive dude, living on the moon. And then you notice he’s taking the rubbish out? It’s not been collected. Now, is that normal or not? I don’t know. But it’s important in the context, one of the themes that does come through the episode and it become, it emerges more, is a sense of loneliness, and being forgotten and things I think

Mia [11:33] The other thing as well is obviously like in the comics, I can’t really remember exactly actually how they do it, but like their names, before even really I think we know their, their sort of normal first names, they’re like “Spaceboy” But yeah, which we haven’t had any of yet, but I expect we will in the future. So we get Luther, we get Diego.

Josh [11:45] We get their superhero names Who is the only one who’s doing anything remotely actually superhero-y?

Mia [11:57] Yes, exactly. He’s kind of in this like family’s house saving them from some robbers or

Josh [12:02] Gangsters or something, it’s not made clear

Mia [12:04] Don’t really know

Josh [12:05] Number Three.

Mia [12:06] Allison

Josh [12:06] She’s like famous on the red carpet for some reason. We have like, we see an umbrella tattoo on her wrist. Then Number Four, Klaus, who is like in a rehab or what, we don’t really, yeah, he’s in a rehab I think it kind of becomes clear, we see him getting out of a top bunk. He’s very chipper. The music actually changes to something that seems a bit calmer, cheekier.

Mia [12:12] Number Four, Klaus, played by Robert Sheehan, who you may know from Misfits, immediately, basically, through this just made me think of the character of Cassidy in Preacher, just because you know, another Misfits actor who’s

Josh [12:39] In fact he took over from him!

Mia [12:41] Oh god yeah he did, didn’t he? Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it’s that that kind of like very reckless behavior and being very like, Oh, it’s all good, like, whatever.

Josh [12:50] So we’re introduced to these four and then it goes between them as they kind of see some sort of news, shocking news of some kind, so we see all these things, we see, you know, go through all of them and then we see what is you know the person playing the violin is Ellen Pages, it’s Vanya, who I think is then named?

Mia [13:07] Yes, she is. The lights go off on her. Yeah. And then it’s like

Josh [13:10] So we don’t find out her name until the other characters have all had, like their moment in the spotlight, so to speak.

Mia [13:15] The other thing is that the vigilant amongst us will notice that actually we’ve gone 1 2 3 4 7

Josh [13:20] Yes.

Mia [13:21] There’s no Number Five, there’s no Number Six.

Josh [13:23] Yeah. Which does actually become a thing because after this point, there’s kind of, the shots cut between like Vanya and the house. The reason I mention it (because I don’t want to go over like the plot too much) is that one of the things it cuts between is the painting? We see a painting of six children. One that’s missing is Vanya.

Mia [13:36] Yeah. Yeah.

Josh [13:40] There’s only one girl in the picture and it is clearly Allison. And then it transitions to show Five as we lose one near the corner. And then it transitions to them as teenagers where we only see four, which are the four that we receive names for.

Mia [13:53] In the first one that disappears, we then go from that to the portrait of Number Five on the wall. Yeah. And then afterwards, it’s when it gets. Well, actually, I think we see the statue of Ben who is Number Six, yeah, but we don’t know that yet. Also, though, really quickly, that was one thing that really made me laugh when I was re-watching it. When Diego’s like, doing his little crime-fighting bit in this family’s house, and then he like, kills all the bad guys or whatever. And he goes to the family, looks at them, like proper Daredevil, and is like “you’re safe now”. It just really made me laugh. And also, I then realized later, the Director of this episode, is Peter Hall, who is known for Doctor Who, Altered Carbon and in fact, Daredevil.

Josh [14:33] Oh!

Mia [14:35] So anyway

Josh [14:36] We meet Pogo who’s like a monkey who can talk? Again, it’s a sign of how weird it is, there’s just a monkey who can talk.

Mia [14:41] Yeah they’re just like yeah it’s chill.

Josh [14:42] And they’re talking about Number Five and how he went missing. It’s been 16 years. Yeah, important one is obviously there’s a point where they talk about having a ceremony then it cuts to 17 years ago, where they first stop a bank robbery, I think it’s their first thing. And in that we see, in fact the only one we don’t see, we don’t see Vanya but we also don’t see Klaus.

Mia [15:02] Yeah no, he’s not doing anything there.

Josh [15:05] But we learn their skills. So Allison is able to alter reality so-to-speak, or make people do things by saying she heard a rumor. So in this she says “I heard a rumor that you shot your friend in the foot”. And then he shoots him in the foot. Luther comes through the roof and has super strength. Diego throws knives and they like bend in the air, like it goes at a right angle. Then we see Number Five

Mia [15:27] Aw Number Five is great.

Josh [15:28] Well we don’t know, I don’t think we’ve actually got his number yet, but we see somebody who can jump through space and looks like the first one to disappear from the painting, which when you’ve read the comics, you know is Number Five, but still

Mia [15:39] I love that bit, it’s so good, and it introduces like such a fun, like, I think in all, in this whole thing. Like it’s very much like, they’re kids! They’re like having fun with it. And it’s quite like, perverse?

Josh [15:43] Yeah. And that’s highlighted by then, Number six who is Ben, which we never get given the name, like it never comes up on the screen as a name but we know it’s Ben from the way they talk about things. He’s like I don’t, like he’s very reluctant to go in.

Mia [16:07] He’s like, do I have to have to do this

Josh [16:08] and basically he goes into this final room and they show these tentacles appear everywhere, like throwing people around, there’s screams,

Mia [16:15] blood on the window

Josh [16:16] and he comes back out just coated in blood and clearly traumatized.

Mia [16:20] What I was going to say though, as well with Number Five, you know, it’s so playful like he’s like, “Oh, yeah, just replace the gun with a stapler, hahaha, great,” you know, and then I think again, it’s also highlighted more like when it cuts away back to Vanya, who’s on the roof with Hargreeves and they’re kind of watching from afar. He’s observing them and it’s weird, and she’s like, “Can I play with the others?” And it’s like, they’re not playing

Josh [16:42] I think he says like, you’re not special or something doesn’t he as well? Or is that later on?

Mia [16:46] No that’s then.

Josh [16:47] Is it then?

Mia [16:48] Yeah.

Josh [16:49] Ah, yes. And then there’s a press conference where he says he’s adopted six gifted children. Yeah, he’s adopted Vanya and just put her to one side basically, he ignores her

Mia [16:56] Poor Vanya. She’s kind of almost, acts as like his assistant.

Josh [16:58] Yeah, then, so we go back and you know, Klaus who has the ability to connect with people in the afterlife is trying to connect to Hargreeves and things - doesn’t seem to be working but it goes to one of my favorite scenes which is that they’re all in the different rooms like clearly not getting on with each other. And Luther puts on “I Think We’re Alone Now”.

Mia [16:58] Yeah, it’s so great.

Josh [17:16] And they all dance separately and it zooms out and there’s this like cut through like, like someone’s taken a slice out of the house and you see them all in their respective rooms dancing on their own. Again, the theme of loneliness and things and being separate

Mia [17:28] I love it, it’s so great.

Josh [17:31] And that’s when the thunder rumbles, which is when we see Number Five come back, which is when we get his name and stuff on the screen, and he’s just-

Mia [17:38] You’ve missed out something really important which I think we really need to talk about, which is Vanya’s dancing. Ellen Page being, like I love the way that they really embody all their characters in this, it’s so brilliant like they’re all clearly like very different. I love the Kra- what’s his name? Diego. He does like all his like nerdy like old-school disco moves, Allison is sort of doing her like fun stereotypical girl dancing in the bedroom like she’s got like a feather boa and stuff but it’s just like all of this it’s such, it’s a nice way of like giving them that extra bit of personality whilst also showing their, you know, the separateness between them

Josh [18:23] But yeah, then we see this thunder thing, this like sort of temporal anomaly they call it and what basically happens is you see like an old man through it who then falls through this hole and it is Number Five as a young boy again, and you know, without going into it too much it transpires that he’s basically like travelled through time, he’s lived this long period of time etc. and onwards

Mia [18:43] Yeah, he’s just super super offhandedly being like “yeah, I’ve been in the future, it’s shit by the way”

Josh [18:47] Yeah, and by the end of episode we find out that the world’s ended and he, but he knows the day it ends on and it’s

Mia [18:53] Eight days from now

Josh [18:54] Eight days from now, whatever, so he’s managed to get back. Um, a couple of key points to bring up I think: one, when Diego and Luther have a fight, obviously there’s a rip in the sleeve and we see a hairy arm, which is interesting because they almost hide this aspect of the character

Mia [19:08] Yeah, whereas in the comic it’s a feature

Josh [19:09] In the comic it’s very early on, yeah it’s a feature thing. We get, we get the mom recharges again like they unveil that she’s a robot, but I think it’s very, well it is revealed but it’s very quickly revealed I feel in the comics, I think when they’re fighting they rip her dress or something and it reveals she hasn’t got any legs underneath, she’s basically on wheels or something. But the other bit - so I loved that bit - the last bit I want to mention, because of this loneliness theme in the episode, the bit where they show them training and getting their tattoos, where Vanya draws her own tattoo, which is kind of heartbreaking

Mia [19:39] So heartbreaking

Josh [19:40] But the voiceover emphasizes them working as a team rather than alone. Which is obviously this idea of them coming back together to potentially stop the end of the world. Very important I think. Then obviously the bit I think a lot of people have spoken about is the scene where Number Five kills like a bunch of people with guns basically to the song “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)”, which is

Mia [20:01] Oh it’s so great. They Might Be Giants.

Josh [20:03] Yeah it’s such a, such a good scene, like the way it’s done is brilliant. Again, that sense of like he’s very cheeky with how he like fights them. He’s also incre- like it is this really interesting contrast still that he’s very cheeky, almost childlike with it, but he is adult in that he’s like murdering them.

Mia [20:19] Yes

Josh [20:19] Very, very happily murdering them without any worries or thought. Also that he’s dressed in his old uniform, because the only clothes he has left are the ones from him, as a, as what like a seven year old or whatever

Mia [20:29] Yeah, he opens his wardrobe he’s like, ahhh, fucking shit. It’s also I really love that they haven’t seen him, all the rest of, all his siblings haven’t seen him for what was it? 16 years or whatever?

Josh [20:39] Yeah yeah

Mia [20:40] And um, and so they’re like, trying to adjust to it. You know, they’re seeing him now as he was then. But he’s actually like, 58 years old. He’s older than all of them in consciousness. And they’re like, my favorite bit, like they’re trying to sort of adjust to this, my favorite bit is when Luther and Diego are fighting and Klaus is kind of like trying to shield him being like, “Oh, that’s like, the kid can’t get hurt in the fight”. And he’s just like, what? Again though it’s just that weirdness, like, they accept it very quickly, but also he’s like, “Oh, I’m going to drive to this diner” and they’re like, “Can you drive? Can you-” So it’s, that’s going to be an interesting, fun dynamic, I think between them.

Josh [21:15] So I guess now’s a good time, like the differences between comic and - it’s kind of hard, it’s really hard for me to actually figure out the differences in some sense, in terms of what we’ve been revealed and haven’t been revealed. Partly because we, I read the comics as one book because I’m trying to remember what was in each bit, I think, some key differences that I noticed, at least. In fact one of the main differences, I think, is that we don’t have their superhero names, as you mentioned. So in the comics, it’s “Spaceboy” for Luther, “The Kraken” for Diego, “The Rumour” for Allison

Mia [21:48] “Seance” for Number Four, for Klaus

Josh [21:51] Yeah, Number Five is Number Five, I think.

Mia [21:51] Yeah and it’s the same in his caption in this, he doesn’t have a name either way. 'Cause like I- I guess also, does that mean that they were named after that point?

Josh [22:00] Potentially after that point, yes, maybe.

Mia [22:02] Like so they went 16 years of their lives just being numbers

Josh [22:05] No no, no they weren’t 16 years, he disappeared at the age he is there. They haven’t seen him in 16 years.

Mia [22:10] Oh, yeah. He’s 13 years old.

Josh [22:12] Ah he’s 13 years old. So he’s, up until the age of 13 they probably weren’t named.

Mia [22:15] Yeah. Which is so sad

Josh [22:17] Or, or he rejected his name

Mia [22:19] Possibly also that

Josh [22:19] Because he does seem to be the one that’s most comfortable with not being part of society. The other ones kind of like, they’re weird and they don’t fit in, obviously like Spaceboy lives on the moon, so to speak, all these different things, but it’s very clear that Number Five just, like he travelled in the future, he had no respect for time or normality

Mia [22:37] Yeah. Seems like Hargreeves as well, like from a line he says, Hargreeves you know told him not to travel in time, like space is one thing, time’s another, but he did it

Josh [22:47] But the other big difference is that The Seance, (which is what, in my head they’re still the chara-, their comic book names) talks to The Horror, Ben, in the backseat of the thing, of the car, which is definitely not a thing I remember at all from the comics.

Mia [23:00] No. And also that’s when Ben finally gets his caption as well, like he’s there in the car, we don’t- the viewer, you know, if you don’t know who he is or can’t guess, you don’t- it’s not clear, also he doesn’t speak at all. He doesn’t say anything. Klaus is just talking to him, he’s just sat there. He keeps saying we Yeah, it’s like “we, we, we” and we think there’s someone there but then you see Diego’s view there’s no one there and then we get Number, Number Six then. It’s so sad! What happened to him? We don’t know! Also I found interesting I don’t know if this- I can’t remember if this was in the comic or not, on his statue, so the, the little sort of engraving on it, it says “May the darkness within you find - rest-” Hang on a minute I wrote it down

Josh [23:41] It’s definitely clear that whatever his power is, it’s- it’s not pleasant.

Mia [23:46] Yeah. Oh, okay, so his- the engraving on the statue, on Ben’s statue, said “May the darkness within you find peace in the light”. Very very dark. Like I don’t know how much they’re going to kind of reveal in the TV show because, well up to where we’ve read in the comics I don’t think we learn what happens to him.

Josh [24:04] No. No, there is a few, I’m trying to remember, there’s a few bits in the back. We definitely get- we definitely get more of him outside of the plot, if that makes sense, there’s like a couple of like bonus feature type bits, but I don’t think we find out what happens to him.

Mia [24:18] No, you see him in all the kind of flashbacks

Josh [24:20] You see him with the tentacles and stuff early on. But he disappears, he’s, it’s less obvious that he’s disappeared in the comics, I feel

Mia [24:27] Yeah, I didn’t realize

Josh [24:28] Oh, that was the other key difference! In the comics, it opens, it’s what I alluded to earlier, it opens with, they’re all born, the moment of, oh what’s it called now. There’s a phrase… is it an intergalactic wrestling match? Which is how weird like the thing, like, how weird that comic is, it opens with an intergalactic wrestling match. It’s not clear whether humanity’s even aware that that is happening or not. It is described as, “in the mid 20th century at the instant of the finishing blow in a cosmic wrestling match forty-three infants are inexplicably born to random unconnected women who showed no signs of pregnancy”. And Hargreeves is called The Monocle.

Mia [25:10] Yes. Which - and of course it’s one of the big things - I say big things - but one of the things in it is the missing monocle. The monocle’s missing, Luther is all like

Josh [25:20] Yeah, someone’s done this. We see Diego with it, right?

Mia [25:22] Yeah, Diego had it. Diego had it all along. And also like, I think all of that reveals a lot more around their relationships, I think particularly between Luther and Diego. Luther was always the kind of, you know, he was Number One, but he was also always the leader.

Josh [25:35] He was al- he was the leader and he always seemed to have a closer relationship with Hargreeves than some of the others.

Mia [25:38] Exactly. You know, he talks about like, “Oh, you know, Dad’s favorite spot” and they’re like, “what d'you mean?” and he’s like, “you know, under the tree, we used to sit there, didn’t you guys do that?”

Josh [25:47] It’s also interesting, you see an element as well of a difference between Luther symbolizing almost like order, or like, if I was thinking in terms of D&D kind of alignments, he’s definitely more towards a lawful, lawful, potentially lawful good. I mean they’re all vigilantes, so none of them are technically lawful, lawful good. But definitely closer to that, whislt Diego is happy, you know, he’s like running around in a dark outfit. Even the music represented a difference. He was definitely an angrier character. He was less maybe- maybe in relation to each other, maybe not in relation to society, but in relation to each other, and Hargreeves, Luther is the lawful good kind of like, I do what, but I, you know I’m lawful, like a soldier, like very much a soldier who is doing what he’s told by his captain, whereas Diego is very much more like, I’m going to do I want, makes noises

Mia [26:43] (Laughter)

Josh [26:43] Like an angry chaos, whereas then obviously Klaus feels definitely more like a happy chaos. Like he’s a drugged up… whatever. Like, I did love that, I think they show, did they show him without his shoes on?

Mia [26:54] Possibly, I can’t remember

Josh [26:55] It was a key bit with him with his shoes because that is a key part of his thing that he can’t use powers with shoes on.

Mia [27:00] Yeah, he has to have- he can’t have his shoes on. Also, clearly his powers don’t work when he’s high as a kite.

Josh [27:05] Yeah.

Mia [27:06] Oh my god, I love the bit

Josh [27:07] Or they do but Hargreeves isn’t responding to it.

Mia [27:09] I love the bit where he knocks over the ashes. But yeah, it’s another key thing. And that, he’s also got his tattoo hands. His “hello, goodbye” hands, which is in the comics too.

Josh [27:23] Yeah. So that’s Umbrella Academy Episode One. A chaotic, sprawling exploration of it, at least.

Mia [27:31] Any thoughts about, before we finish, any last thoughts?

Josh [27:35] So the only thing I would note is, and I am terrified of getting this wrong. But the, there is a cast member who is listed in that first episode, yeah, Mary J. Blige, who we never see. And based only on the trailer so far, I’m pretty certain she’s playing a character from the second volume of the comics. Which is interesting, because, so one thing, because I read Umbrella Academy 1 a long time ago, and it was this year when I read Umbrella Academy Volume Two, I’d actually forgotten some of the plot lines a little bit. I’d forgotten how closely tied in they were to each other. They felt, I was- in my head, they felt like they were going to be two separate things that happened to share characters. But actually, I went back and re-read them both in different ways ready for this and I did notice that they do overlap, they interlink with each other more than I remembered. So it’s interesting, they’re bringing in Mary J. Blige because she’s a character from the second volume who they’re then gonna incorporate into this first one, which makes sense when you realize that they are meant to be linked. I guess it’s to bring that together more.

Mia [28:39] Yeah, it does. Last other notes, which I guess kind of relates but, so, there’s like this whole- this whole mystery which hopefully we’re going to find out about at some point soon, about Number Five being in the future but also like, who these people were who came to kill him, and like this tracking chip he had in his arm which he cut out, and then also when he goes to Vanya and again is like, “I’ve come to you because you’re the only one I can trust because you’re ordinary and you’ll listen” - there’s this whole thing all the way through of Vanya being like the caring one, like she’s, she, she always used to go and leave the lights on and make a snack for Number Five in case he came home, and she’s there to like, you know, she, she will happily then again like bandage up Number ive and listen to him, and she just wants to

Josh [28:56] She wants to be part of the team

Mia [29:09] She wants to be part of it. She fell out with them all then because she wrote a book about it, but there’s, there doesn’t seem to be very much sympathy from anyone, apart from maybe Allison, for her. But yeah, so it’s all, it’s very interesting. I love the, that whole presentation of her character and like even just the way she dresses she’s just, she’s very like, just gonna blend in the background, just going to try and get on now.

Josh [29:51] So, thought on the episode? What was your, how, what would you give it out of 10?

Mia [29:56] I don’t know. I don’t have any future episodes to compare it to yet. In terms of my enjoyment, my excitement level’s pushed up by it being a fun new show that I’m really excited about as well. I think it was really well done, well cast, love the style and aesthetic of it all. Love the music. Some of it, I guess, you know, a lot of the expositional stuff was maybe like a little bit heavy handed but it kind of has to be, because the nature of it and also, you know, it’s based on a comic. Also another note about the comics is, God, I found them so confu- you know, it’s only when you get to the end of a volume are you like, “I get it!”

Josh [30:32] Almost every Gerard Way comic I’ve read, I, it- I’m always like I don’t know what’s happening. You have to just knuckle down and let it just Yeah, you have to just let it kind of happen and then you get to the end of it and it suddenly all ties together and you look back and go, “oh, of course, and now that makes sense now, and this and that”

Mia [30:38] I always think I’ve missed something “What a wonderful piece of art! I get it!” Yeah

Josh [30:49] Which I love. I guess the final note is what would you say your favourite, one of your favourite lines is from the, from the episode?

Mia [30:57] “Rapists can climb.”

Josh [30:58] Yeah

Mia [30:59] Would be uh, one of mine.

Josh [31:00] Which was…

Mia [31:01] Just a weird, weird line.

Josh [31:02] But it’s great though, right? Because he’s like, what is it she says, it’s something like

Mia [31:07] She’s, it’s because he’s like, “Oh, you you need a lock on your windows.” And she’s like, “I live on the-

Josh [31:12] first floor.

Mia [31:13] Yeah, like whatever it is.

Josh [31:15] He’s like, "rapists can climb!”

Mia [31:16] Which is just so weird, especially coming from the mouth of a 13 year old.

Josh [31:20] Yeah, which is great. Okay, so

Mia [31:23] What would you, what would - I didn’t give it an out of 10 rating

Josh [31:26] Ah, I don’t think we need one. I think out of 10 ratings don’t give you enough. I feel like this entire podcast is an out of 10 rating.

Mia [31:32] Ha, okay.

Josh [31:34] So with that in mind, we’re going to go watch Episode Two.

Mia [31:36] Yeah, baby. Can’t wait. Thanks for listening. If you got through to the end, maybe you skipped some of it. I don’t know. But I mean, thanks, I hope that it was enjoyable. Let us know what you think.

Josh [31:48] Byeee

Mia [31:48] Byeeee!

The Year of Keroro Challenge Update 4 (Yes Sir)

Goodness, even though I mentioned looking forward to this one it took quite a while to write it (this has been a difficult week)in terms of watching I’m almost finished with the first season, actually, one strange thing I noticed was that the valentines episode actually lines up with valentines day. But before we get started Jlucy pointed out to me that the scene from episode 21 with the car is specifically a nod to “Castle of Caliostro” with the drivers being based on two of the main characters and the car being a nod to the Fiat from the movie. Actually I wonder if the writers for the dub had this in mind when they were writing; in the English version the driver mentions he was renting a car because he didn’t want to use his Fiat.

Either way I had planned to wait until there weren’t any text pieces to translate, but I have at least one more of these non-episode specific notes to do before we reach episode 65, so a bit on name origins (The ones for the Human characters will probably be less familiar, but still....)

Keroro-Kero, the noise a frog makes (I’ve always suspected this is actually a really common name)

Tamama-Otamajakushi, meaning tadpole (I really find myself wondering about his family background that his parents gave him a name that assumes he’s going to look like a child for a long time)

Giroro-Giro, the onomatopoeia for glaring at someone/something

Kururu-Kuru, it’s used as an onomatopoeia, a noun, and a verb, either way it refers to something twisting, spinning or turning (which is why his resonance creates a loop)

Dororo-It’s best known as a reference to the Osamu Tezuka manga Dororo, which takes place in the feudal era, it also works as a play on Doro-Doro which is the sound of something dripping

And the plan count:

Serious Plans: K66:16 D66:1 MMK:1 TMM:1

Funding Plans: K66:1

It’s a plan, I Swear!: K66:5 (I’m throwing the sports day mission in here too)

Oh look! Progress!: K66:3 

And the marker board from episode 27:

Episode 22: Now first of all I’ve always enjoyed this episode, the absurdity, the cute break down Tamama has at the end, the completely impractical but still fun plan (actually I think Tamama only comes up with three plans over the course of the entire show and they’re all more or less the same basic concept). Plus the little stealth pun when Natsumi gets angry about the shower; she shouts “Kora!” which is an interjection that can be used as a reprimand, but it’s pronounced similarly to Cola.

Actually, speaking of this part I have to admit I sort of agree with Tamama’s point that Fuyuki could just serve that cake in the fridge instead of making dinner....Actually even the bit about accounting for nutritional balance could sort of be refuted; Baked goods often contain grains and eggs, not always dairy but ice cream and cheese cake covers that, his plan allowed tuna as an exception so that’s meat covered, plus many desserts are made with fruit and there are some made with vegetables (carrot cake, anything with pumpkin in it, corn cake), sure most people would probably either stop eating before this point or simply die trying, but theoretically it IS possible to get normal nutrients that way....Yes I’ve seriously thought about this; there are quite a few characters that can be explained this way.

Finally no discussion of this episode would be complete without bringing up the infamous letter, so I’m going to try and cover this in more depth since I have the luxury of making this a separate note. First of all, it’s written really oddly; everything except the word “leader” is written in katakana which you normally wouldn’t do (hiragana only is a different matter, but in modern times it’s considered a bit childish). One big issue with not using kanji is that it’s much harder to tell what you’re trying to say, plus katakana itself is a bit sticky since some of them strongly resemble each other or other kanji (one relevant to this is katakana ni resembling the kanji for two which is often pronounced the same way). The revealed part admittedly seems phrased a bit simply, but it says “Taichou wa Tamama ni” or “Tamama’s Leader” while the full message is “Taichou wa Keroro ni Makasetamama ni” or “Keroro will be left as the leader” I suppose the closest thing in English would be if the letters were a bit more spaced apart instead of grouped together

And fun fact; Etsuko Kozakura, the woman who provides Tamama’s voice, also did the voice of Puppetmon/Pinocchimon from the original Digimon series. I just thought I’d mention this since I noticed a few....similarities between their management styles (Though Tamama just imprisoned people who crossed him instead of....deleting them)....actually watching the episode and knowing this made me look into Digimon again, did you know one of the newer series has a Puppetmon who is one of the friend Digimon that shows up every now and then? Really. They have his nose grow when he lies (including to himself) and give him some really charming moments....and he shares his English voice with Keroro, hm.

Episode 23: And it’s the clone episode! I have to confess, the bit about the clones not having a star always makes me wish there was a video of the original Keroro singing the song from the Sneetches, the one where the starred Sneetches are roasting marshmallows....I know it’s a strange association to make, but....Come to think of it, I don’t think this was a manga chapter, I’m not completely sure and I know most of the season one episodes were based on the manga, but I know a few stories were anime exclusive and I believe this was the first one, either way it’s hilarious to see Keroro being the responsible one and getting annoyed by the behaviour of his own clones (still, at least there was an easily visible way of telling them apart, which is better than what happened with Pinkie Pie, some people still theorise that they kept the wrong Pinkie).

Now for a bit of a sticky area, especially since I’ve been putting up with my grandfather’s preoccupation with this particular time for most of my life, but I noticed something a bit odd. Even now, a lot of people seem to be weirded out by the “clone salute”, but they actually switched two of the syllables in the Aliens’ name for Earth because the original term from the manga was associated with the Sino-Japanese wars (I’m not sure which, there’s two major ones and a bunch of smaller conflicts, but the second big one was during the world war) and was banned from television. I’d be curious to find out what it is that makes one war reference more acceptable than another (maybe because calling Earth “Pokopen” alludes to much longer standing conflict with a specific country? I have to admit I always wondered if the best way of handling “touchy terms” would be to find a positive, unrelated use for them so they take on a new meaning and the old one eventually falls out of use; you often hear about the power of words, but it’s actually their meanings that have effect rather than the words themselves)

Episode 24: Oh dear it’s 556, I have to admit I’ve never liked this guy (though I will admit, I like the instrumental version of his song on the Christmas album) I know for a lot of people felt the same way with Joriri eventually replacing him, but it didn’t work the same way for me.

Actually, one thing I love about this episode is how when Keroro wonders about the emotions he’s feeling watching 556 fighting “monsters” they immediately cut to Tamama; it’s almost as if the cinematography is saying “Let’s ask your resident expert, shall we?”

Actually I recently looked at the Japanese version of the full character page again, I think there’s one surprising one on there; I know 556 and Labbie are references to Space Sheriff Gaven and a character named Annie from Space Sheriff Shaider, but the character page lists their relationship as Gukyou-Kenmai or “Goofy Older Brother, Wise Younger Sister” which was the original title for a T.V. series called “Otoko wa Tsurai yo” or “It’s tough to be a man” which later became a huge film series of the same title (Often called “Tora-san” after the main character, Torajirou), spanning 48 installments and nearly three decades (only ending when the actor playing Torajiro died). The films followed a similar formula of Torajirou the traveling salesman going home to his sister’s family, walking out after getting into an argument and meeting a distressed young woman in the next town he goes to and offering to let her stay at the family’s sweet shop if she needs it. Eventually this happens and he falls in love with her, but in trying to win her over indavertantly ends up setting her up with another man and ending up disappointed, but putting on a brave face and wishing her the best before journeying to another town in hopes of getting over her and eventually becoming somebody his family can be proud of. 

The first movie was actually made to please fans of the original show who were upset that Torajirou died of a snakebite in the final episode, it also took quite a bit of convincing from the director to get the first movie made. Incidentally, the working title for the original show came from the final caption in another piece Torajiro’s actor played in

Episode 25: And here we have a Nishizawa family quarrel....which is appearently not considered complete unless enough money is spent that you could buy a small town and heavy weapons are nearly used (that’s the second time Keroro’s nearly let to Earth be destroyed only to be stopped at the last moment by the realisation that Earth is the official “Gunpla Planet”). Still there are some nice little moments (though I wonder if they ever did make that video, as long as they cut out the bits where they start to lose it could work)

Episode 26: Sports Day fun times ♪ Actually, has anyone ever noticed that whenever a show wants to slow down a sports day they usually target the scavenger hunt? Though now that I think about it, the cruel irony of all this is if they hadn’t tried to help, Aki probably would have made it in time to run in the race (or at least, the combined effect of accidentally speeding up the 100 meter dash and ruining some of the manuscripts). Though I do admit that I miss the parts from the manga where Momoka is running a race and the newspaper article at the end “Freak in tights crashes sports fest” I find it strangely hilarious the way they worded it. Also it’s amazing the things that become relevant later on, let’s see who remembers what I’m talking about.

Episode 27:  First of all, I love the way Keroro offhandedly compares renewing interest in the invasion to reviving the dead (He already knows it’s a lost cause), it’s especially interesting considering they come across the remnants of a failed invasion later on. Actually I sort of want to see a spin off about those past invaders; not necessarily a big, dramatic, action-y thing mind you, honestly I expect it would be more or less the same thing as with Keroro but in ancient times, perhaps with the human characters being the ancestors of the current ones.

Also they use the pun of kaeru meaning both “frog” and “to return” quite a lot in the series. Though I have to admit I can relate to Keroro’s feelings a bit here; all of the women in my family have been quite formidable, especially for their time, and my mother is crusading to change the child welfare system in Canada (even though she’s never been in it) and doing all of these things for political change and I sometimes feel I can’t really measure up to that, even though I don’t plan on going into a related field. Plus because of her work I’m a bit burnt out on people issues, I focus more on environmental ones.

Episode 28: This one was a bit tricky, though I always thought the effect of the cold weather on the Keronians sounded more like windburn than all out frostbite. As for the second part this officially marked the beginning of the odd sort of dynamic of Mois & Kururu, I don’t remember how much it was explored in the show apart from her sometimes being who they went with when they needed a girl to associate with Kururu, though I remember a few moments from the manga that built on it, such as the “Angol Stone” chapter.

Toronto’s Aaron Sanchez reignites inning restraint debate

David Lengel: Aaron Sanchez is the whiz of the Blue Jays gyration, at least for one or two more starts Lets start with the obvious: nothing not renowned surgeon Dr James Andrews , not agent Scott Boras , not Washington Nationals and New York Mets general managers Mike Rizzo and Sandy Alderson , not Hall of Fame pitcher John Smoltz knows the right path when it comes to protecting young arms. When young Nats hurler Stephen Strasburg was controversially shut down in September of 2012 and New York ace Matt Harvey blew through his innings restriction last-place season, both were coming off Tommy John elbow surgery: Aaron Sanchez, the Toronto Blue Jays 24 -year-old ace at the center of the latest innings debate has not, farther muddying the questions. Jays GM Ross Atkins, who along with their Ceo and President Mark Shapiro have been deliberating a decision to pulled the former reliever from the starting gyration possibly sooner rather than later, is smart enough to realize that he doesnt know whats right either. Theres not data either way, Ross told TSN radio in Toronto on Tuesday. With all the unknowns winging around Toronto, heres what we do know: Sanchez is the centerpiece of what is arguably the best starting rotation in the American League. Hes run 17 starts without a loss, a long time active unfold in MLB, while compiling a 2.71 ERA during a season in which hes become a legitimate Cy Young candidate. Sanchez is also efficient, averaging 14.9 lurches per inning, good enough for sixth in MLB. Why is Atkins preparing to remove Sanchez from the spin? At 139.1 innings thrown this season, Sanchez has already eclipsed his 2014 high marking of 133.1 innings, who the hell is thrown between the Blue Jays and their bush league affiliates. In a disagreement where home-grown pitching whizs are a scarcity, the Jays are highly motivated to keep Sanchez health for the long term. In addition to theoretically protecting Sanchezs prized right arm, the move too mounts up what could be a formidable 1-2-3 bullpen perforate together with set-up soldier Jason Grilli and closer Roberto Osuna. It could help a aid core that ranks 11 th in ERA, but that thought also presumes Sanchez has no editions moving back to relief work. Replacing Sanchez in the spin “wouldve been” inconsistent Francisco Liriano, acquired at the non-waiver trade deadline, with journeyman Scott Feldman waiting in the backstages if that didnt work out. We feel like transitioning him[ Sanchez] to a relief character would be the best act for us being in Play 7 of the World Series, said Atkins on a conference call following the deal for Liriano. Interesting thought, specially when you consider the dogfight Toronto are in to even reach the playoffs, let alone the World Series. When Strasburg left the spin in 2012 the Nats had a 6.5 tournament NL East lead in early September. Meanwhile, the fact that one is well aware right and wrong for Sanchezs health in the long run isnt continuing those working in Toronto and beyond from taking slopes. On Wednesday, Torontos SportsNet5 90 radios Andrew Walker said its crazed to throw him 240 innings![ that number would be reached only if Sanchez finished the season and the Jays experienced an extended playoff pas ]. Categorically insane! Smoltz, who sloped both as a starter and then in the bullpen, told Torontos The Fan radio on Wednesday that he doesnt like the space Toronto are handling the situation. Going to the bullpen and youre not the closer has a lot more of an effect on your forearm and organization than parties recall because you dont have a characterized capacity. Its not like they go in the seventh inning of every competition were gonna get him up and get him in. When youre a top-line starter, which I make[ Sanchez] is, you got to make sure that that becomes the DNA of this player. Jays starting catcher Russell Martin has discovered the majority of members of Sanchez innings up close. I dont like it, Martin said here on Sportsnets Tim& Sid show. You got a guy who is cruising, testifying no mansions of tirednes … How many stressful innings has he had? I dont think hes had too many, you know? His innings are pretty scavenge … if the guy is completely healthy and putting up character start after quality start, I dont even know why its a discussion right now. Thats merely my views. Im not the one attracting the fibres. Martin wants to win and apparently, so do his team-mates, so such a move could potentially stir the clubhouse negatively at exactly the incorrect time. Throw out all of the unknowns in the health question and youre left with a pure baseball decision. Removing a Cy Young candidate shapes little to no sense, and risks derailing all the momentum the rejuvenated franchise is hold. Canadas team are poised to break through the 3 million marker in attendance for the first time since 1993 and are among the favourites to reach the playoffs and potentially acquire their third World Series title. They should be all in for today , not tomorrow. Video of the week On Sunday, Cincinnati Reds hurler Homer Bailey accomplished his long wander back from Tommy John surgery, sloping well in his first major league tournament since April of 2015. But he was still rust-brown: with runners on the recess in the sixth, San Diegos Wil Myers took off for residence after Bailey turned his back following a stroll, spanning the plate easily to steal a operate. Bryan Price came out to discuss the play with the adjudicator, but “havent had” recourse after given to understand that his pitcher was sleeping at the rotation. Cue the lulluby … Quote of the Week Ken Rosenthal (@ Ken_Rosenthal) August 2, 2016 To those upset with first version of Puig story: Im with you. I take great pride in accuracy. It infuriates me that a key item was wrong. Thats Ken Rosenthal rationalizing for his Yasiel Puig story that said that the Dodgers outfielder had stormed off after learning he wouldnt be on the team airliner to Denver. When Rosenthal learned that Puig wasnt at the ballpark, and thus could not have stormed off “the authors ” evidenced genuine class in admitting the error, and also added that the information came from informants, but thats not an justify. Its my work to check everything thoroughly. Puig, who was replaced by the incoming Josh Reddick and sent down to the children by LA, was sympathetic. Yasiel Puig (@ YasielPuig) August 2, 2016 @ken_rosenthal don’t annoy bro, we all become blunders #puigyourfriend #seeyousoon Whos closer to victory: Donald Trump or the Cubs? Well, the New York Post produced some little-known photos of the Trumpsters wife Melania this week, and, depending on your disposition in life, that could be considered either a win or a loss. However, the flap with Humayun Khan must be a black mark species wherever youre standing. When you weigh it all up, Le Grande Orange has been playing from behind all week. Meanwhile, the Cubs experienced a walk-off win on Sunday against the Mariners thanks to pitcher Jon Lester, who cant throw to first base but can lay down one heck of a bunt. While in the very same recreation, pitcher Travis Wood made a fantastic catch up against the ivy in left field. And all that came before Chicago wiped the Marlins: Cubs get the edge this time around. How did the minors piss off Goose Gossage this week? By Miamis Derek Dietrich stripping off his uniform top after snapping an 0-20 slump with a pinch-hit walk-off triple to defeat the Cardinals on Sunday, thats how. Goose would go gonzo if he saw this. Meanwhile, Goose continued to stick to his AR-1 5s concerning the practice baseball is heading. While addressing young musicians in Maine over the weekend, Gossage told the girls: I said my agreement about at-bat moves and remaining video games in check. Nobodys overtaking the light to teach these boys how to play. They reach so much money, theyve got a bunch of coach-and-fours that have never been in the big league that exactly tiptoe around these people. I was taught how to deed. You act like health professionals. Ive said my armistice. The activity, in my views, is going to hell. Actually, based on Dietrichs physique, it looks like the game is going to the gym. Nine expects in order 1) Has there ever been a Subway Series with less sizzle than the 2016 publication of Mets v Yankees? One New York radio host said it best: this line is more like a wake. The Mets are sinking fast under the weight of incredible harm issues, and the Yankees are eventually in full rebuilding mode after coping Aroldis Chapman, Andrew Miller, Ivan Nova and Carlos Beltran. All the Yanks have now is bringing up the children and deciding whether or not the Yanks preserve Alex Rodriguez around long enough to thumped his 700 th home run or precisely release him, the latter of which is being reportedly being seriously considered. Meanwhile, the Mets, who are clinging to National League wild card hopes, acquired Jay Bruce from the Reds, in a move that also adjusts up what could be one of the most difficult outfield the defence of all-time: Yoenis Cespedes( now on the disabled list) in left field, Curtis Granderson in middle and Bruce in claim. If Braves fans to benefit from pray for rainfall after Spahn and Sain, Mets fans better better start praying for strikeouts and ground balls on every slope. Perhaps John McEnroe can help with that? Give that serviceman a contract! 2) Can the Colorado Rockies form the playoffs? Its not beyond reasonable suspense, even without Trevor Story, who may be lost for the season after sustaining ligament shattering in his left thumb. The Rox, who held on to their key element at the non-waiver trade deadline, are 14 -5 since the infringe. Most of this Rockies guide has come on the road where their pitching has been far superior. In Colorado, where the staff members almost always suffocates in Denvers thin air, theyre rock bottom in team ERA rankings with a 5.98 marker. Fantastically, along the road, the Rox have given up 98 fewer operates, posting an Period of 3.62: thats third in the NL, in front of the Chicago Cubs, Los Angeles Dodgers, St Louis Cardinals and San Francisco Giants. Tyler Chatwood is 6-0 with a 1.30 Era in nine away starts, and 4-6 with a 5.69 ERA in 10 home starts, which is ridiculous. Naturally, their greatest obstacle to contacting the season is their own stadium, where unfortunately they have 32 competitions continuing against 26 on the road. 3) Wednesday was D-Day for baseball and softball, in addition to providing athletics climbing, skateboarding, surfing and karate: all endeavors being considered for the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo. All five became the slouse, but dont reckon for a minute that MLB will halt their season to send actors: their brass are fully committed to constituting the World Baseball Classic the crown jewel of international play-act. Still, that doesnt mean it isnt good for the athletic or the players. John Blundell (@ JBMLBPR) August 3, 2016 Last time baseball was an Olympic sport( 08) these guys won bronze. Strasburg, Fowler, Cahill, Arrieta. #mlb #Wbsc pic.twitter.com/ ZLzpfQDGkU 4) Heres a downer kindnes of the official Instagram of Skeeter Duffy, Matt Duffys large-scale feline TAGEND Thanks for all your lovin’ San Francisco. We’re gonna miss ya. Onwards to Tampa! #furrevergiant #duffcat #duffmanforever #byeSF A photo posted by Skeeter Duffy (@ duffcat3 5) on Aug 1, 2016 at 9:17 pm PDT Duffy, who was sent to the Giant as part of a cope to for hurler Matt Moore, was the felines meow in San Francisco last season, playing the hot corner in place of the departed Pablo Sandoval. Duffy broke out, positing an unexpected. 762 OPS, but hasnt been able to match that Giant spark in 2016. Now he and Skeete, who has over 15,000 folloers on Instagram, are apparently patronizing for Iams and catnip after a long transcontinental flight to Tampa, a true-life blow to felines in the Bay Area. UPDATE: its too hot for Skeeter in Tampa, so hes staying with Duffys mothers. 5) Heres a record you require no part of: the Los Angeles Dodgers, currently in second place in the NL West while guiding the wild card race, have made 22 musicians on the disabled inventory this season, that after starting 2016 with 10 players on the DL. Only the 2015 New York Mets can pair these sort of harm numbers, and on the bright side for LAs love, many of whom are in a nasty feeling with Clayton Kershaw not eligible to pitch until late August, New York won the NL East. 6) Just periods after putting together one of the best, if not the good bullpen in baseball, the Indians rotation received a punch with Danny Salazar thumping the DL with elbow inflammation. Clevelands righty hurler abode his shortest start to the season while get pasted by the Twinneds on Monday and had what was supposed to be a precautionary MRI on Tuesday. Salazar had given up 21 moves over his last five starts after allowing merely 23 moves over his first 15 starts of the season. Cleveland are trying to acquire their first World Series entitle since 1948 and are four games up on the Beast in the AL West. 7) On the heels of the Tribe are the red hot Detroit Tigers, who have won eight straight recreations while going health at precisely the right time. With a payroll of roughly $200 m, the team werent prepared to attain meaningful adds-on at the busines deadline, but they are getting buttress in matters of the activations of Jordan Zimmerman and JD Martinez from the disabled schedule. After being left for dead by most experts picking the Royals to repeat as AL Central champs this season, the Tigers ought to have hang about thanks to a high-powered offense driven by Miguel Cabrera, Ian Kinsler and JD and Victor Martinez. Now their pitching staff are coming around with their second half ERA dropping by 1.33 to 3.14. With tough line against the Mets, Navigator, Red Sox and Rangers coming up, the next few weeks will show us how real Detroit are. 8) Joey Votto is having an interesting era with love lately. On Monday Joey Votto desegregated it up with a person in a Reds jersey while chasing a fouled ball into the stands. Cut4 (@ Cut4) August 3, 2016 It took some innings, but Joey Votto& a @Reds fan sorted everything out. Full Story: https :// t.co/ iCNjYJulXz pic.twitter.com/ bwznPWocJB Votto apologized, but the mea culpa comes just days after he chastened a young love who asked for his batting gloves in San Francisco. Melanie Nichols (@ kiasuchick) July 27, 2016 Kid asks for Joey’s batting gloves. Votto responds “You’re sitting in the figurehead row, you’re elite. This isn’t a ‘Make A Wish’ situation” … Im all for messing with followers as long as its kept flare, but the Make–AWish Foundation crack is totally unnecessary. 9) And ultimately, on Tuesday, umpire Bob Davidson encountered a devotee at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia. Philly Influencer (@ PHL_Influencer) August 3, 2016 A fan was ejected from video games by home plate umpire Bob Davidson pic.twitter.com/ k7gwhG9K2l Davidson has a reputation for confrontation, but it seems the veteran ump got it right this time, speaking to the fan about homophobic heckling before security questioned the offender to leave. People heartened me, said Davidson. which is unusual in this town for me Read more: www.theguardian.com http://dailybuzznetwork.com/index.php/2018/08/30/torontos-aaron-sanchez-reignites-inning-limit-debate/

Glass Half Full? Some Early Union Observations

It’s been a really sleepy start to the Union season.

Three games in five weeks makes it hard to generate any kind of continuity or buzz, especially during a combination Sixers and Flyers playoff push. It also doesn’t exactly help when the first two matches feature an early sending off and a snoozer of a scoreless draw.

The glass half full approach would center on the idea that the Union haven’t allowed a goal through 180 minutes, about 120 of which were played at full strength. The glass half empty bemoans the fact that the team hasn’t scored an even-strength goal in 2018.

But if you know anything about Jim Curtin, he’ll take a nil-nil over a 3-3 any day of the week, and starting the season with four points out of six is a lot better than starting with four points out of 24, which is what the Union mustered last year en route to a diabolical 0-4-4 start. It took them two whole months to get to 7 points last year.

I don’t put much value in the season opener, simply for the fact that New England took a horrendous red card in the first half and spent the rest of the game defending a Union onslaught. Philly won 2-0 in comfortable fashion, a nice game to ease in a young defense and a couple of homegrown players making their first MLS starts. There are worse ways to get Auston Trusty and Anthony Fontana acclimated to the senior team.

The second game gives us more to work with, a matchup against a well-coached and organized Columbus team. Philly only generated 3 on-target shots from 9 total looks, but generally limited Columbus while keeping a decent defensive shape at home. I thought Gyasi Zardes should have buried one of his chances, but he didn’t.

The Union handed Borek Dockal his MLS debut, and he just wasn’t clicking with his teammates out there, putting up these numbers:

2 off-target shots

0 key passes

31/38 passing overall (81.5%)

1 unsuccessful cross

1 time dispossessed

His passing numbers look okay, but there wasn’t much incisive distribution. He completed 7 of 8 inside the final third, but most were right on the edge of the area with Columbus sitting in their blocks and staying compact. I did, however, appreciate his active body language and post game press conference. Guy seems like a winner, like someone who actually cares, which is more than you can say about some of the duds who have played for past Union squads.

The one thing that jumped out at me was that Dockal tended to pop up on the right side of the field in the same area that Alejandro Bedoya likes to operate from. When you look at each team’s 8/10 heatmap combination, Columbus was a little more balanced, spacing a bit better and getting almost 40 more touches on the ball:

This sort of follows the trend we’ve seen from Bedoya in the past year or two, where always seems to drift to the right side of the field.

I’ve asked Curtin about this before, and he thinks it’s just a product of Bedoya being a right footed player who spent most of his European and international career on the right wing. Haris Medunjanin, your ball-dominant #6, is a left footed guy who operates deeper, almost like that Xabi Alonso or Andrea Pirlo-esque regista who can make things happen from more distant starting points.

Haris usually opens up and faces left, putting the ball on his strong foot, but he doesn’t really trend to the left side of the field, which you see below:

There’s just more positional balance to Medunjanin’s game.

It’s interesting, because Haris is dropping a bit deeper to receive the ball this season. The Union will split the center halves and drop the #6 between, showing three in the back during the buildup. It’s the exact same thing Columbus has been doing for years, so it felt like a bizarro world mirror-matchup this past weekend.

Theoretically, if Haris is pulling deeper, does that mean Bedoya has more space to operate in the middle of the park? If Medunjanin is Wil Trapp, can Bedoya emulate the Artur or Tony Tchani role?

Sometimes.

He pulls back a bit but it’s still mostly right sided. Other times he’s completely out of the picture when the Union start their buildup:

If the above is the case, and Bedoya is sort of hugging the right side there, or recovering from a forward run, then Anthony Fontana or Borek Dockal is going to have to come occupy that space, otherwise you’re just fumbling around with three players in possession while everybody else stands 40 yards up the field.

This is better:

Anthony Fontana dropping in to help Medunjanin and the center backs draws another defender forward and gives Bedoya some space to operate if he wants to stay higher up the field.

In the the sequence where I pulled the image above, he pounces on a New England mistake, drives toward the box, and sets up a pair of scoring opportunities:

Never mind the blown sitter there. I probably should have cut off the clip before Sapong’s miss, but whatever. He got his goal later in the game.

So you see what I mean about the Union build up? Bedoya just always has this right-sided swing to his game. In clips like the one above, he’s in a great position to jump on the loose touch and push forward in transition. Other times they get too clumpy on the right side, which has this “toilet bowl” effect, where the entire team sort of rotates clockwise, with Fabinho pushed way high, David Accam pinching inside next to Sapong, and a cluster of Bedoya, Fabian Herbers, Keegan Rosenberry, and Dockal/Fontana kind of stepping on each other’s toes.

It’s hard to illustrate without a wide camera angle, but it’s sort of like this:

That’s going to be the primary issue going forward, getting Dockal acclimated to his teammates and trying to smooth out the build-up play. Keep in mind you’re also going to have Fafa Picault starting on the right side, presumably, when he comes back from suspension.

To that point, I’ve always felt like it just makes more sense to play Bedoya as a right mid and let Derrick Jones start as the #8. I know they’ve said they aren’t interested in playing Bedoya wide, but it just feels to me like he does most of his work over there anyway. I think you kill a couple of birds with the same stone, which is putting a DP in his natural position, a spot where can be more influential offensively, while allowing Jones to get on the field and continue to grow and develop as a box-to-box type of guy. The counterpoint, I think, is that the Union have enough wing talent already between Picault, Herbers, Cory Burke, and Ilsinho.

Anyway, a couple of other notes:

David Accam –

He just always seems like he’s capable of making something happen. It’s been awhile since the Union have had a guy who makes you perk up every time he gets on the ball. Ilsinho used to have that effect during his first year.

I think Accam did a bit too much dribbling last weekend, and was stuffed a couple of times inside the box while trying to shoot. That’s not exactly his game, but with Fabinho getting so far forward, he sometimes looks like a second striker playing next to Sapong up there. I’d like to see him get out in space and run at defenders, which might be the case with the Union going on the road next weekend. Still, a lot of good things from the new DP so far.

Auston Trusty –

Steady.

He isn’t making bone-headed year one mistakes and just needs to minimize those inaccurate long balls.

Jack Elliott –

No sophomore slump at all. He had something like six clearances and a block the other day, and continues to impress me with his on-ball composure and diagonal passing game.

Keegan Rosenberry –

Looks more like himself this year. I think he works better with a right-sided midfielder who can interchange with him up the flank. He had some great chemistry in 2016 playing next to Ilsinho on that side of the field. There’s been a lot of change in that position, from Chris Pontius, to Picault, to Herbers, to Ilsinho, to Burke subbing in. Need some consistency over there.

Fabian Herbers –

I want more from him. He was excellent at the end of 2016 and the beginning of 2017 before suffering the injury. He looks like he’s trying to find space to get on the ball over there, wants to pinch inside and play more centrally.

C.J. Sapong –

Can’t leave him on the island. Columbus did a nice job of limiting his looks and squeezing down on him, and his best contribution was three key passes that his teammates couldn’t capitalize on. He had a really nice layoff that Dockal chunked over the net.

Haris Medunjanin –

Best passer on the team by a country mile, just needs help from Bedoya in defensive transition and has to be careful in front of a young backline.

That’s all I’ve got after two games. It’s been okay soccer so far, but my biggest concern coming into 2018 was the defense, which has looked pretty good. That’s the glass half full approach.

    Glass Half Full? Some Early Union Observations published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

Filmmaker Friday featuring Filmmaker Kenny McMillan

With hundreds of careers and opportunities, the filmmaking industry can be a unique experience for a filmmaker. Options include pitching an idea, or a commission through screenwriting, casting, shooting, editing, and screening your project. Filmtools decided to take a deeper look into the world of a Filmmaker. This week, we had the opportunity to speak to Filmmaker Kenny McMillan about his work. This is what he said:

What inspires you?

Kenny McMillan:  Excellence. By that I mean I get fired up by seeing other artists (of any form) hit that flow state, pushing their art and effectively utilizing what I call “the invisible prod” by making the audience feel/think what the artist intended, not necessarily what the piece would initially have you feel/think. That feeling you get when you watch, say, a musician “speak” to you live through their guitar and not necessarily the lyrics, or identify with a character in a film in a way that wasn’t overtly presented. Seeing or hearing something that hits your body before it hits your brain, ya know what I mean? That, and theoretical physics.

What is your role on set?

Kenny McMillan:  Director/Cinematographer. Less officially I often find myself being the coach or therapist, haha. I’m happy doing anything though, I love the process.

Whats the first thing you do on set?

Kenny McMillan: Meet everyone, see how they’re doing/if they need anything/address any early thoughts, find crafty, start going through whatever checklists I have for the day and mentally “walk” myself through that day’s motions, visualizing where there might be hangups or where I can save time or combine shots or ideas and so forth. Speed on a film set is everything so I try to come up with backup plan after backup plan for when those little sticking points eventually do crop up so we can move on without too much trouble. Having a plan is one thing, communicating that plan (and changes to it) is a completely different thing so it’s important that everyone on set is in a shared mental place, which is centered around trust, honesty, problem solving/critical thinking, and knowing the end goal. Getting to know everyone, making sure their voices are heard, and making sure they understand your communication style is key. When you’re working as a team, like any sport, there’s no time for ego or BS (which are two hallmarks of a film set unfortunately) so the sooner you get everyone on the same page the better. Plus it relieves a lot of undue stress.

Why did you choose this field?

Kenny McMillan: I tend to have a one track mind in many cases and film happens to be one of those tracks. I’ve got footage from when I was 6 or so recreating infomercials and the like on my parents VHS-C camera, quickly getting into theater (and 16mm/Hi-8) in High School and then cinematography (miniDV) in College. I’ve always been dramatically minded so it was never really a question of “if” and more a feeling of “where will this take me?” As it stands, it’s taken me to Directing but these days you’re less locked in to one job or the other so I’ve been working on the “Fincherian” idea of knowing every job on set as well as those you’ve hired and that’s been very educational and challenging. I’m finding a lot of joy in audio and prop creation right now.

How does Filmtools help you?

Kenny McMillan: Filmtools is great because the store is just up the street from me and I can physically go in and handle whatever it is I’m looking for; I’ve got insane anxiety so buying something sight-unseen is a pretty large no-no. It’s nice to be able to walk into a place where everyone knows what they’re talking about and I can sit there for a while and actually evaluate, say, gels or the size/utility of a case or piece of equipment or something. I prefer getting physically involved with things over trusting what the listing online says. Online is great for research but you can never “know” something without actually getting your hands on it, even with experience. Plus it’s nice to casually walk through the expendables aisles and grab things you forgot you needed.

What’s the coolest project you’ve worked on before?

Kenny McMillan: I was a photographer for Red Bull in Arizona for a few years, which was probably the greatest series of projects I’ve ever worked on in terms of “coolness” but one time as an intern I was randomly roped into the art department during pre-production on the Criminal Minds spinoff “Suspect Behavior” for a couple weeks before ABC caught wind of what I was doing and called me back to the office hahaha. Learned a lot in that short amount of time. Change your Xacto blades after every cut, people!

What project is close to your heart?

Kenny McMillan: I’ve made it difficult on myself to describe adequately, but OWL BOT Season One is a sort of variety series I started at the beginning of the year that’s gone through a lot of changes and continues to change as time goes on. I’ve got a vision for the series over the next 3 or 4 years but as it stands right now I’m getting into the groove of creating non-stop and trying to one-up myself as well as getting others involved. Soon I hope for it all to be scripted but right now it’s heavy on the variety. We’re “exploring the space.”

Do you have a piece of essential gear that you don’t leave without?

Kenny McMillan: Knowing that speed is key, I’ve worked a lot on figuring out how to get the smallest amount of gear to make the greatest impact and right now that centers around the Redrock Micro Ultracage with the Powerpack attachment. Adds just enough weight to the rig to give handheld movement a little more “authority” and there’s tons of mounting points on it as well as a place for top-rails, so you can attach whatever you need right to it. The Powerpack makes it so you can power the entire rig (camera, monitor, focus motor, etc) off of one battery (shout out to Filmtools for that slick 2 battery+charger IDX package deal a few months back that I was able to take advantage of) and even if I’m not attaching a handle, the cage itself can act as a holding point opposite my Canon’s side handle. On the other hand, the Odyssey 7Q+ has been a huge help as well with its 10bit recording and false color (which is like a turbocharged spot meter). I actually made Episode Four (OB01x04) about the rig I use and the theory behind it if anyone is interested in hearing (or reading) me drone on and on about gear stuff. I love the idea proposed by Josh Homme of “using the wrong thing right”. Keeps things funky.

What advice would you give to people interested in this industry?

Kenny McMillan: “It is one thing to study war and another to live the warrior’s life.” ― Telamon of Arcadia

Do you have a dream location that you would love to shoot on? If yes, where is it and why?

Kenny McMillan: I would be ecstatic to shoot on a set that was painstakingly and lovingly created by talented people who left no detail unexplored. Not unlike holding a well made and properly weathered prop, being surrounded by someone’s storytelling like that gives me the fizzies.

Where can people follow you on social?

Kenny McMillan: I’m trying to get better on Twitter but my heart is with Instagram for the time being. We’ve also got Vimeo and YouTube obviously, if you’re trying to actually SEE the work, but I hope to have the OWL BOT website be a one-stop-shop for everything we’re getting into now and in the future where you won’t have to go around the net piecing everything together as it’ll all be right there. The OWL BLOG (ha) is more of a playground of art and ideas, and I hope to get more people involved there as well. People are welcome to play along if what we’re doing speaks to them. Shoot me an email.

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Toronto’s Aaron Sanchez reignites inning restraint debate

David Lengel: Aaron Sanchez is the whiz of the Blue Jays gyration, at least for one or two more starts Lets start with the obvious: nothing not renowned surgeon Dr James Andrews , not agent Scott Boras , not Washington Nationals and New York Mets general managers Mike Rizzo and Sandy Alderson , not Hall of Fame pitcher John Smoltz knows the right path when it comes to protecting young arms. When young Nats hurler Stephen Strasburg was controversially shut down in September of 2012 and New York ace Matt Harvey blew through his innings restriction last-place season, both were coming off Tommy John elbow surgery: Aaron Sanchez, the Toronto Blue Jays 24 -year-old ace at the center of the latest innings debate has not, farther muddying the questions. Jays GM Ross Atkins, who along with their Ceo and President Mark Shapiro have been deliberating a decision to pulled the former reliever from the starting gyration possibly sooner rather than later, is smart enough to realize that he doesnt know whats right either. Theres not data either way, Ross told TSN radio in Toronto on Tuesday. With all the unknowns winging around Toronto, heres what we do know: Sanchez is the centerpiece of what is arguably the best starting rotation in the American League. Hes run 17 starts without a loss, a long time active unfold in MLB, while compiling a 2.71 ERA during a season in which hes become a legitimate Cy Young candidate. Sanchez is also efficient, averaging 14.9 lurches per inning, good enough for sixth in MLB. Why is Atkins preparing to remove Sanchez from the spin? At 139.1 innings thrown this season, Sanchez has already eclipsed his 2014 high marking of 133.1 innings, who the hell is thrown between the Blue Jays and their bush league affiliates. In a disagreement where home-grown pitching whizs are a scarcity, the Jays are highly motivated to keep Sanchez health for the long term. In addition to theoretically protecting Sanchezs prized right arm, the move too mounts up what could be a formidable 1-2-3 bullpen perforate together with set-up soldier Jason Grilli and closer Roberto Osuna. It could help a aid core that ranks 11 th in ERA, but that thought also presumes Sanchez has no editions moving back to relief work. Replacing Sanchez in the spin “wouldve been” inconsistent Francisco Liriano, acquired at the non-waiver trade deadline, with journeyman Scott Feldman waiting in the backstages if that didnt work out. We feel like transitioning him[ Sanchez] to a relief character would be the best act for us being in Play 7 of the World Series, said Atkins on a conference call following the deal for Liriano. Interesting thought, specially when you consider the dogfight Toronto are in to even reach the playoffs, let alone the World Series. When Strasburg left the spin in 2012 the Nats had a 6.5 tournament NL East lead in early September. Meanwhile, the fact that one is well aware right and wrong for Sanchezs health in the long run isnt continuing those working in Toronto and beyond from taking slopes. On Wednesday, Torontos SportsNet5 90 radios Andrew Walker said its crazed to throw him 240 innings![ that number would be reached only if Sanchez finished the season and the Jays experienced an extended playoff pas ]. Categorically insane! Smoltz, who sloped both as a starter and then in the bullpen, told Torontos The Fan radio on Wednesday that he doesnt like the space Toronto are handling the situation. Going to the bullpen and youre not the closer has a lot more of an effect on your forearm and organization than parties recall because you dont have a characterized capacity. Its not like they go in the seventh inning of every competition were gonna get him up and get him in. When youre a top-line starter, which I make[ Sanchez] is, you got to make sure that that becomes the DNA of this player. Jays starting catcher Russell Martin has discovered the majority of members of Sanchez innings up close. I dont like it, Martin said here on Sportsnets Tim& Sid show. You got a guy who is cruising, testifying no mansions of tirednes … How many stressful innings has he had? I dont think hes had too many, you know? His innings are pretty scavenge … if the guy is completely healthy and putting up character start after quality start, I dont even know why its a discussion right now. Thats merely my views. Im not the one attracting the fibres. Martin wants to win and apparently, so do his team-mates, so such a move could potentially stir the clubhouse negatively at exactly the incorrect time. Throw out all of the unknowns in the health question and youre left with a pure baseball decision. Removing a Cy Young candidate shapes little to no sense, and risks derailing all the momentum the rejuvenated franchise is hold. Canadas team are poised to break through the 3 million marker in attendance for the first time since 1993 and are among the favourites to reach the playoffs and potentially acquire their third World Series title. They should be all in for today , not tomorrow. Video of the week On Sunday, Cincinnati Reds hurler Homer Bailey accomplished his long wander back from Tommy John surgery, sloping well in his first major league tournament since April of 2015. But he was still rust-brown: with runners on the recess in the sixth, San Diegos Wil Myers took off for residence after Bailey turned his back following a stroll, spanning the plate easily to steal a operate. Bryan Price came out to discuss the play with the adjudicator, but “havent had” recourse after given to understand that his pitcher was sleeping at the rotation. Cue the lulluby … Quote of the Week Ken Rosenthal (@ Ken_Rosenthal) August 2, 2016 To those upset with first version of Puig story: Im with you. I take great pride in accuracy. It infuriates me that a key item was wrong. Thats Ken Rosenthal rationalizing for his Yasiel Puig story that said that the Dodgers outfielder had stormed off after learning he wouldnt be on the team airliner to Denver. When Rosenthal learned that Puig wasnt at the ballpark, and thus could not have stormed off “the authors ” evidenced genuine class in admitting the error, and also added that the information came from informants, but thats not an justify. Its my work to check everything thoroughly. Puig, who was replaced by the incoming Josh Reddick and sent down to the children by LA, was sympathetic. Yasiel Puig (@ YasielPuig) August 2, 2016 @ken_rosenthal don’t annoy bro, we all become blunders #puigyourfriend #seeyousoon Whos closer to victory: Donald Trump or the Cubs? Well, the New York Post produced some little-known photos of the Trumpsters wife Melania this week, and, depending on your disposition in life, that could be considered either a win or a loss. However, the flap with Humayun Khan must be a black mark species wherever youre standing. When you weigh it all up, Le Grande Orange has been playing from behind all week. Meanwhile, the Cubs experienced a walk-off win on Sunday against the Mariners thanks to pitcher Jon Lester, who cant throw to first base but can lay down one heck of a bunt. While in the very same recreation, pitcher Travis Wood made a fantastic catch up against the ivy in left field. And all that came before Chicago wiped the Marlins: Cubs get the edge this time around. How did the minors piss off Goose Gossage this week? By Miamis Derek Dietrich stripping off his uniform top after snapping an 0-20 slump with a pinch-hit walk-off triple to defeat the Cardinals on Sunday, thats how. Goose would go gonzo if he saw this. Meanwhile, Goose continued to stick to his AR-1 5s concerning the practice baseball is heading. While addressing young musicians in Maine over the weekend, Gossage told the girls: I said my agreement about at-bat moves and remaining video games in check. Nobodys overtaking the light to teach these boys how to play. They reach so much money, theyve got a bunch of coach-and-fours that have never been in the big league that exactly tiptoe around these people. I was taught how to deed. You act like health professionals. Ive said my armistice. The activity, in my views, is going to hell. Actually, based on Dietrichs physique, it looks like the game is going to the gym. Nine expects in order 1) Has there ever been a Subway Series with less sizzle than the 2016 publication of Mets v Yankees? One New York radio host said it best: this line is more like a wake. The Mets are sinking fast under the weight of incredible harm issues, and the Yankees are eventually in full rebuilding mode after coping Aroldis Chapman, Andrew Miller, Ivan Nova and Carlos Beltran. All the Yanks have now is bringing up the children and deciding whether or not the Yanks preserve Alex Rodriguez around long enough to thumped his 700 th home run or precisely release him, the latter of which is being reportedly being seriously considered. Meanwhile, the Mets, who are clinging to National League wild card hopes, acquired Jay Bruce from the Reds, in a move that also adjusts up what could be one of the most difficult outfield the defence of all-time: Yoenis Cespedes( now on the disabled list) in left field, Curtis Granderson in middle and Bruce in claim. If Braves fans to benefit from pray for rainfall after Spahn and Sain, Mets fans better better start praying for strikeouts and ground balls on every slope. Perhaps John McEnroe can help with that? Give that serviceman a contract! 2) Can the Colorado Rockies form the playoffs? Its not beyond reasonable suspense, even without Trevor Story, who may be lost for the season after sustaining ligament shattering in his left thumb. The Rox, who held on to their key element at the non-waiver trade deadline, are 14 -5 since the infringe. Most of this Rockies guide has come on the road where their pitching has been far superior. In Colorado, where the staff members almost always suffocates in Denvers thin air, theyre rock bottom in team ERA rankings with a 5.98 marker. Fantastically, along the road, the Rox have given up 98 fewer operates, posting an Period of 3.62: thats third in the NL, in front of the Chicago Cubs, Los Angeles Dodgers, St Louis Cardinals and San Francisco Giants. Tyler Chatwood is 6-0 with a 1.30 Era in nine away starts, and 4-6 with a 5.69 ERA in 10 home starts, which is ridiculous. Naturally, their greatest obstacle to contacting the season is their own stadium, where unfortunately they have 32 competitions continuing against 26 on the road. 3) Wednesday was D-Day for baseball and softball, in addition to providing athletics climbing, skateboarding, surfing and karate: all endeavors being considered for the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo. All five became the slouse, but dont reckon for a minute that MLB will halt their season to send actors: their brass are fully committed to constituting the World Baseball Classic the crown jewel of international play-act. Still, that doesnt mean it isnt good for the athletic or the players. John Blundell (@ JBMLBPR) August 3, 2016 Last time baseball was an Olympic sport( 08) these guys won bronze. Strasburg, Fowler, Cahill, Arrieta. #mlb #Wbsc pic.twitter.com/ ZLzpfQDGkU 4) Heres a downer kindnes of the official Instagram of Skeeter Duffy, Matt Duffys large-scale feline TAGEND Thanks for all your lovin’ San Francisco. We’re gonna miss ya. Onwards to Tampa! #furrevergiant #duffcat #duffmanforever #byeSF A photo posted by Skeeter Duffy (@ duffcat3 5) on Aug 1, 2016 at 9:17 pm PDT Duffy, who was sent to the Giant as part of a cope to for hurler Matt Moore, was the felines meow in San Francisco last season, playing the hot corner in place of the departed Pablo Sandoval. Duffy broke out, positing an unexpected. 762 OPS, but hasnt been able to match that Giant spark in 2016. Now he and Skeete, who has over 15,000 folloers on Instagram, are apparently patronizing for Iams and catnip after a long transcontinental flight to Tampa, a true-life blow to felines in the Bay Area. UPDATE: its too hot for Skeeter in Tampa, so hes staying with Duffys mothers. 5) Heres a record you require no part of: the Los Angeles Dodgers, currently in second place in the NL West while guiding the wild card race, have made 22 musicians on the disabled inventory this season, that after starting 2016 with 10 players on the DL. Only the 2015 New York Mets can pair these sort of harm numbers, and on the bright side for LAs love, many of whom are in a nasty feeling with Clayton Kershaw not eligible to pitch until late August, New York won the NL East. 6) Just periods after putting together one of the best, if not the good bullpen in baseball, the Indians rotation received a punch with Danny Salazar thumping the DL with elbow inflammation. Clevelands righty hurler abode his shortest start to the season while get pasted by the Twinneds on Monday and had what was supposed to be a precautionary MRI on Tuesday. Salazar had given up 21 moves over his last five starts after allowing merely 23 moves over his first 15 starts of the season. Cleveland are trying to acquire their first World Series entitle since 1948 and are four games up on the Beast in the AL West. 7) On the heels of the Tribe are the red hot Detroit Tigers, who have won eight straight recreations while going health at precisely the right time. With a payroll of roughly $200 m, the team werent prepared to attain meaningful adds-on at the busines deadline, but they are getting buttress in matters of the activations of Jordan Zimmerman and JD Martinez from the disabled schedule. After being left for dead by most experts picking the Royals to repeat as AL Central champs this season, the Tigers ought to have hang about thanks to a high-powered offense driven by Miguel Cabrera, Ian Kinsler and JD and Victor Martinez. Now their pitching staff are coming around with their second half ERA dropping by 1.33 to 3.14. With tough line against the Mets, Navigator, Red Sox and Rangers coming up, the next few weeks will show us how real Detroit are. 8) Joey Votto is having an interesting era with love lately. On Monday Joey Votto desegregated it up with a person in a Reds jersey while chasing a fouled ball into the stands. Cut4 (@ Cut4) August 3, 2016 It took some innings, but Joey Votto& a @Reds fan sorted everything out. Full Story: https :// t.co/ iCNjYJulXz pic.twitter.com/ bwznPWocJB Votto apologized, but the mea culpa comes just days after he chastened a young love who asked for his batting gloves in San Francisco. Melanie Nichols (@ kiasuchick) July 27, 2016 Kid asks for Joey’s batting gloves. Votto responds “You’re sitting in the figurehead row, you’re elite. This isn’t a ‘Make A Wish’ situation” … Im all for messing with followers as long as its kept flare, but the Make–AWish Foundation crack is totally unnecessary. 9) And ultimately, on Tuesday, umpire Bob Davidson encountered a devotee at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia. Philly Influencer (@ PHL_Influencer) August 3, 2016 A fan was ejected from video games by home plate umpire Bob Davidson pic.twitter.com/ k7gwhG9K2l Davidson has a reputation for confrontation, but it seems the veteran ump got it right this time, speaking to the fan about homophobic heckling before security questioned the offender to leave. People heartened me, said Davidson. which is unusual in this town for me Read more: www.theguardian.com http://dailybuzznetwork.com/index.php/2018/08/30/torontos-aaron-sanchez-reignites-inning-limit-debate/