#this is not my best work i am still in artblock
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Hey there! I started following you around the time your dhmis season 2 art was coming out and I’ve gotta say I love everything you put out! You give a lot of love and passion into all of your works, and I hope to be as great as you in the arts one day!
If i may ask, how are you able to push out so many good works and drawings in such a short period of time? How do you find time to draw and yet still balance the daily challenges and tasks of daily life?
Hope you have a good day/night btw! Love your work!!
ah you see, the answer is that i dont,, typically when i get vry fixated on something i put a lot of other things on the back burner,, most of my time is spent at my desk doing art while chatting with friends or playing games while chatting. its not the best of cycles but its not one i can really break from, autism is one hell of a thing and its the main powerhouse for my art. in my brain i can only do like one thing a day sorta? so its like 'today i shal spend all my waking moments drawing' and its very hard to split that attention (my adhd meds are somewhat responsible for that)
but what id like to say, you really shouldnt strive to be like me,, this whole cycle tends to overwork me- not so that i get artblock just to the point to where i start having issues with my hands (not bc of drawing but my hands tend to get inflamed, yadda yadda other issues that i wont bring up here)
buuut! i am happy doing art! its the one thing i really really really enjoy! i love being able to bring silly little ideas to paper!
#aka mentally i feel great! physically on the otherhand... but im working on it!#i know i know breaks are important but its just really hard for me to do that yaknow? i love drawing and i love art!#appologies for oversharing on th interwebs
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So... My cats fought today. Pretty badly. They've never done this before so I wasn't even sure what the fuck to do.
I'm taking one to the vet tomorrow for antibiotics and a checkup because they bit eachother at the fucking jaws like the morons they are and he's bleeding.
He's got gum issues so I know for a fact that despite not being a super ultra bad wound it's going to bed REALLY nasty so it's a bit of an emergency thing now.
The other I was able to clean and bandage up myself (it's just the paw) but will probably need to be checked out as well.
I'm poor as fuck so despite still being on the heaviest artblock of my life
COMISSIONS ARE OPEN
They won't be my regular comissions. I won't price them at all, even.
I just need enough to at the very least get them antibiotics and likely a couple of stitches.
How it will work is:
-Donate to my kofi
-Tell me what you want drawn.
-I will draw it to the best of my ability (and energy) asap while I deal with the vets
Any ammount will do, I won't ask for a minimun. Right now *anything* will do more than the 1.41€ there's on my account.
PLEASE if you don't have enough to donate, don't burden yourself for me! While I am in a pretty bad situation, I don't want people pouring whatever little they have for me.
I will make due with what I can.
You can contact me on tumblr DM's (we can move to discord from there if you'd prefer that)
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coming back/moving blogs
hey, been a while, hasn't it? i hope you're all doing well! this is my official coming-back-to-tumblr post, but it's a little different than i had originally planned.
i've decided it would be in my best interests to move blogs after a bit of thinking. i feel like coming back here would just feel too awkward for both me and you guys, especially with my now deleted drama post. i just wanna move on from all this bullshit, especially since i've had do deal with a lot of other shit, including college.
it's still @/evrydaygets-darkr, just moved to a different account. i still like the name, so i'm keeping it for now. this account will still be up for archival purposes, but it will never be active again. i hope you understand.
(EDIT: changed to @henriiiii-1001 bc of shit that happened w ak recently. see this for more info and this for my official statement on it)
as a general life update, i'm done with my first semester of college!! it's been kinda fun so far! i've made a couple friends here and there, and classes (except for math) were super cool!!! i loved most of my professors, and i am honestly excited for the upcoming semester! ive been artblocked to hell and back though, so i don't have much in terms of new art or writing, but i've been trying my best to get out of it. i also gained a new hyperfixation, which is project sekai: colorful stage (abbreviated as pjsk), so i'll probably be posting abt that quite a bit (btw my fav group is wxs and my fav character is tsukasa :3 ), specifically abt stats and achievements w like song completions, maybe some pulls too!
im also gonna put a few updates on aus and oc stories rq:
for my tmc aus: the big ones i'm working on are getting new masterposts and infodumps for the new blog. i would rb posts from this blog to the new one, but due to some personal stuff i don't feel very comfortable doing that. i havent been able to cook much lore-wise for any of them, but i'll probably get back into the swing of things once i start interacting w you guys again.
- for specifically father's duty: i'll hopefully have chapter 3 done soon. it's actually been almost done for a while now, i just need to think of the ending. thank you to those who've stuck with me this far <3
(EDIT: all my tmc aus are discontinued. read above for more info)
for murder files: i'm gonna change up the pacing a bit because i feel like i was going a bit too fast with it. i wanna take my time with it and make it feel as real as possible. it might take me a bit to get fully set up bc im probably gonna have to plan a few steps ahead, which i've barely done. i just need time to plan everything out and draw some shit
i will try to post as often as i can to get back into using tumblr like a true tumblrina (even though i see theyve made some more disgusting changes so yay </3 ), though it'll probably take some getting used to.
i really missed you guys. i'll see you on the flipside.
-henry/thatcher
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Is tbhk your fav manga? If not what is it?
I do love tbhk and it is among my fav manga when I see how much I talk about it ^^ I do have a fixation on it, but I know some manga I read had better written plots than tbhk :00
hmmmm my fav mangas :00 it is a hard question. I've read a lot of manga when I was a kid (the classics, like DB or One Piece) but I honestly don't have that much which stood out for me x')) especially because I have a really hard time with fan service and how female characters are written now ahah
And I like absurd humor as much as I like compicated plots too x’))
ANYWAYS
Mangas I adore since I am a kid
Doraemone my beloved (I have so many shirts and merch from this, it’s insane) and Keroro, which is so so stupid (there is a strange fanservice in Keroro? But honestly I didn’t see it when I was a kid ahah)
Doraemon is a really good manga for a kid, with super creative ideas and stupid interactions :D It is mostly for kids but it those two still have a special place for me dhskjds
I ADORE YOTSUBA
I’ve been reading this manga since a really long time too and it is adorable and stupid I like it so much :DDD Yotsuba is adorable and a lot of my humor is coming from this manga tbh
The only series I am purchasing rn are tbhk, witch hat atelier and Heaven’s design team :DD
Kamome Shirahama is an absolute queen dshdkjs and I adore the story, characters and the artstyle which is absolutely insane! This take on magic is everything! If I had to recommend a manga I would go for this one! I do know it is pretty popular but there is a reason dhskdhskj
Heaven’s design team is so stupid and has no right being this pretty :DD If you want a cool manga to read, where you see designers having artblocks, the strangest ideas ever and stupid characters of all ages, while learning how animals work this is perfect :DDD
Gokushufudou is the best manga if you wanna laugh a lot x’) The art has no reason being this good again and the concept is hilarous :DD
Im great priest Imhotep have a special place in my heart :DD
Really basic shonen plot, but the characters are funny, the art is cool and there is a lot to learn about egyptian mythology ^^ (and I adore Makoto Morishita ahah she is so funny and talented)
Land of the lustrous is amazing too! (I haven’t read it in a while, because of the hiatus but the art is dhskjdhsj) A really original concept with a lot of good plot twist and characters ^^
The anime is really cool to watch too
I really really like Jiro Taniguchi’s works! His writing style is really chill, not that much is happening, it’s just life in its simplest ways. And his water colors and drawings are insane, he is really good at doing backgrounds.
(if you can check the animation movie ‘le sommet des dieux’ too which is one of his manga it is incredible dshjds)
I really like the manga for Nausicaa. More violent and with deeper meaning than the movie (which I absolutely adore) and you can appreciate Miyazaki’s manga art :DDD
I am a big fan of Naoki Urasawa’s works too :DDD
I am reading 20th century boys rn But I really liked Pluto and Monster :DDD (Ig there are some triggers for these mangas? idk) I used to read astroboy as kid so his darker take on it is really nice to see :DDD and the plots are really greatly written, it is even hard sometimes to follow what’s happening :’DD
And that’s all I guess for now? :00 Nothing else is coming to mind ahah
I’ve been reading some others mangas as SpyxFamily for example but those are more famous ^^
Anyways! Thanks for the question anon :’DD and sorry If I rambled again dshjds
#mangas#maagii's ramblings#ramblings#asks#I am so sure I forgot about some of my favs my brain is square#I beg you to read Pluto and Monster#these two are incredible#Man I used to adore Enigma as a manga too XD and Iris zero
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Just some thoughts and wonderings about my comic project under the cut. Comments and thoughts are very welcome if you might have any!
Now that I've finished the first sketchbook of comic draft (119pages), scanned all of them and sorted them into chapters... I'm thinking a lot about what kind of update frequency and page amount I should be going for. All I know is that as a start I want to post the entire starting chapter (15pages) so people can get an idea of what's it going to be like.
Maybe I'll figure out a suitable pace once I've digitized/drawn clean a small amount of pages, to see what kind of pace I can draw them with in general. (I'm sure it'll get faster once I get used to the layout and tools and all that.)
But I'm still wondering what kind of chunks should I update with to have a good "rhytmn" so to say, so that it doesn't feel like it's updating too few pages at a time and people would feel like it's difficult to stay on top of the story over time. That is to say, people like to read (web)comics differently anyway, some won't bother to check small updates weekly/biweekly etc, and will rather come back to read when there's been a bigger chunk of new pages.
So far my chapters seem to be around 20 pages, with few being 30-40... Would be cool to be able to update a whole chapter/month and the larger ones bi-monthly... But I don't think I could keep up a pace like that, esp with the latter chapters that will have huge amount of backgrounds to be drawn. So I'm pretty sure I have to go with smaller chunks. Personally i feel like 2-3 pages/week seems doable, but I also feel like that's not very fitting with how the pace of the comic is. So maybe 4-6pages biweekly would be better...?
I will of course have a longer break every now and then so I can keep up with the draft and allow myself proper breaks too, but generally I would reaaaally like to do my best to keep up at least somewhat of a steady pace >_<
I know I work better with structure and clear plans, but I'm also absolutely terrible at keeping any routines and schedules of my own making.(And nobody can predict artblocks or depressive episodes q_q)
I've also struggled over trying to figure out the name/title for the whole thing for a few months now. I've browsed thesaurus for words and their meanings so much with no real progress x_x
And another topic of many questions has been I will I publish it. Am I just going to make a site of my own for it that I can fully manage myself (shitton of extra work tho and probably some costs...) Am I going to publish it on something like Tapas.io and maybe be able to make some ad revenue money on the side? Am I going to start a patreon to publish it on? (would definitely turn away people even if it's 1$/month to get access to it)
Another thing that definitely throws some sticks in the gears about the publishing bit is that I'm planning on having the spicy bits of the comic be optional. So people who aren't interested in reading sexual content can skip the spicy bits without it making too big of a difference in the depth of the story. Vast majority of it is fluff after all.
Buuuut. The spicy bits. Part of me really wants to put those behind a small paywall like patreon, because boy would I need some extra monies and boy do I know that people who are into spicy content are often willing to pay for it too if it hits their interests.
But this whole separation of parts in the chapters will make it difficult or weird to try and publish on places like Tapas etc, that have separate sections for PG/adult rated comics. Also if I'd simply publish it as an adult one and it will be 80% fluff... I think people who search for spicy comics will keep interest in it - meanwhile it would also not find the audience that will never even search through the adult section.
If I published through my own site via, say... squarespace, I could throw a link to patreon or such at the point where the spicy chapters would be...?
OR
I could just upload all of it with the spicy bits and just put in clear a clear warning and option to skip past the spicy bit for those uninterested. + I could do the thing that public uploads are slower but you can access new pages earlier through Patreon. This would make it optional for everyone which would be the... kindest choice I feel, while still giving me the possibility of making some few monies perhaps. (one can hope eh)
I'm also thinking about putting other illustrations and content through the "patreon timegate" that many artists do -peeps who want to see content earlier/access some extra content can pay for it if they want. I don't think I could do enough content for a patreon to keep it interesting enough if I wasn't working on the comic. So that whole things is still a big question mark as well.
Many big think. Brain heavy.
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A Vorlog(Vore Devlog) and a Smaller game announcement! (In Regards to Vore Hell! A Text Adventure Game) (Vorlog #1)
Hey guys! Wanted to finally start doing the Vore Devlogs but I realized that it's going to be a little bit of time before I can make the vorlogs, so I decided to make a few changes to what I am going to do with my Game Dev journey!
First things first, I am right now having an artblock plus I have many life problems going on and I don't have any time to get my artblock gone. So I have a solution to this problem!
I am making a much smaller "Choose your own adventure" text-based game! And it's DEFIANTLY a vore game! Still SFW and very wholesome! There will be a warning list though, just in case.
There will be barely any kind of artwork, sadly. I have a lot going on now I but still want to work on game dev, so this is the best option!
Also while there might not be Artwork, there will be music and a BUNCH of sounds ;D
anyways, thank you for reading and I will defiantly be updating more regularly on this project!
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I'm thinking of that episode....a lot
#the owl house#hunter#hunter toh#hollow minds#luz#luz noseda#hunter fanart#toh fanart#luz fanart#belos fanart#belos toh#kid belos#fuck belos we hate belos#all bros hate belos#belos#uh oh hunters gonna have an identity crisis#poor boy i love him#this is not my best work i am still in artblock
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StanSwitch: Lucifer Week
So I switched demons with a moot on Twitter for a week so that I could practice drawing other characters other than my true love, my best boy, Leviathan. I guess you could say it was like being swingers in 2D. XD
And what better way to do that challenge, than by switching husbands with a Luciperv. Since, he is my least favorite demon.
Day 1 - Lucifer with a Nasty Evil Face
This is literally how I see him.
Day 2 - Annoyed Lucifer
When Lord Diavolo approves of you brother’s ridiculous ideas and you have no choice but to cooperate
Day 3 - An Old Man and His Quill
I wrote an unfisnished fanfiction, TLDR
An Old Man and His Quill
Lucifer is in his office, sitting on his chair, exhausted, from all the work he still needs
to get done. His lids were half-open and you can tell from the dark circles under his
eyes, that he was doing his best to keep them from closing. He thought that playing
the TSL soundtrack backwards on his gramophone could keep him awake, but to no
avail, his ears were held captive by the soothing demonic lullaby. "Sigh..." he breathes heavily as stacks of paper patiently waiting atop of his desk watched the stress and pressure overshadow his domineering physique.
He decides to pick up one of his black raven quills, slowly rolling it back and forth in
between the gentle touch of his thumb and index finger, playing with it, while he stares intently at it for whole good minute.
"Are you ready for what's coming?" he whispered to the raven as if it was alive. Filled with tiredness, he pushed his head back lying his neck on top of the cushions on his chair. He closed his eyes then lightly ran the barbs of the feather from his forehead, down to the bridge of his nose, caressing himself wishing that a slight tickle could hopefully wake him up. He opened his eyes, gazing at the ceiling, falling into small trance. He paused for second, and took a deep breath before closing his eyes again as the quill trailed down to his cupid's bow, onto his upper lip, and finally, situated on top of his mouth giving him a faint kiss. He then motioned the barbs, circling slowly around his lips. The barbs kept brushing, tempting, and feeling the softness of the first born's lips. Lucifer couldn't help feeling succumbed to the sensation the feather was giving him, so he just let it have its way with him. This went on for a good while until Lucifer felt a slight tingle on his mouth making him bite his lower lip and getting him to sit-up straight.
He striked the quill on his desk, feeling slightly irritated as he came to his senses. "I'm not here to fool around." he grudgingly tells the quill as he pulls a piece of paper
at the center of his office table. "I'm gonna have fun finishing you tonight, you don't
know what I'm capable of." He grabs the quill, dips it inside the ink bottle, pulls it up,
and dips it right back in with each new dip getting more pressure than the last. He
does this about three times, until he pulled the quill back up again and closely
watched it drip with droplets of black.
Day 4 - A Loving Father and his Rebellious Son
I already posted this previously, but I just wanted to capture that moment.
Day 5 - DIALUCI
I don't personally encourage this ship because of how manipulative it is... but it truly is and will always be BEST OG LuciShip.
Day 6 - Luci and Mammon meet Prototype Luci
NGL, I like the first draft of Luci, he looks SO <3 . I think Mammon does too.
For Day 7, I still haven’t finished drawing it, but I think I will save that for another post.
Stanswitching was really fun! II had a lot of pencil practice and it did teach me to like and appreciate Luci in a whole new different way now. Yes, I don’t hate him anymore. I do understand now, why majoriy of the MC’s playing this game, love him so much. He is a loving Older brother. hahaha Totally competetion for my otaku third born, but it’s time I return to my one true love.
I am currently on stanswitch with a Mammoron now, but for some reason I got artblocked the whole week and I lagged behind on the art, but I will finish it so tune in for that one.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed! :)
#obey me shall we date#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obeyme#obey me satan#obey me belphie#obey me belphegor#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obeymeDiavolo#obey me simeon#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#ObeyMeLuke#lucifer obey me#luci#luci obey me
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Oh well. Here it is. 2021 was a pretty meh year, especially art wise. I struggled (and am still struggling) with artblock. This was one of the most unproductive years ever.
But it also had a bright side nevertheless. I joined insta this year in February after getting super frustrated with several technical problems on tumblr and was welcomed into an incredibly friendly and supporting community. I met a lot of incredible people and despite posting so rarely, my works received a lot of love, much more than I ever had dreamed of. So, thank you all very very much for your support! 🙇♀️ It means so much to me and keeps me going.
I wish you all a happy and most importantly healthy new year! 🥂 Let’s make the best out of 2022. Take care! 💕
2021 Summary of Art Template made by AsterianMonarch on Deviantart.
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Alright, follow-up post to the "ooooo serious post" I made earlier. You can tell I wasn't really feeling too well when I made it appear ten times more serious than it really is. My apologies, I was overthinking things again.
But my point stands, it is more serious than more things and I need to step my foot down and listen to my needs. (And all the other things around me. Oh, here's a quick sorry again if this is written way worse than my previous post, I woke up a while ago and I haven't been able to stop thinking about this since I went to sleep.)
What I want to talk about first is the name for the AU, being "Cingesnax". I haven't chosen the name myself, it popped up suddenly and people began using it/recognizing the AU as such and so I began tagging my reblogs and posts using the name. However to myself I still just call it "Shadow Filbo AU"
I'm not naming names, and you probably know who I am talking about but for a while there was an user who felt quite hurt by the use of "Cringe" in the name. I don't really like the name either, but I don't mind it as much.
I hammer it in often, which I am sure everyone knows and respects but - this AU is NOT meant for any harassment or making fun out of things. It's purely lighthearted fun and shitposting. It's tributing those things. To me these characters are based on me and my childhood which I poke fun at.
I can see why someone would feel hurt or targeted by the use of the word cringe around these things, considering how it's been used/overused to harm people.
I feel like I had to address this because I do not want to feel like anyone is targeted because of my creation. There won't always be people who like it, yes - but as the creator I feel liek I need to take some respolsibility here. And seeing people ahrmed is the last thing I want, really.
(The person does understand now though, they've replied to me and they're fine, so that's good, but I wonder if there's people who feel upset and haven't spoken up. I mean, that's their thing, they can just block the tag, which is why I overtag my things wich character names and such if you just don't want to see them for any reasons, especially triggers.)
I am still overthinking this and making this more serious, sure. And I KNOW not everyone will read and agree to this, but a simple solution to stop people from coming to conclusions would be figuring out a new name, or just me hammering it in even more as the og creator of this whole thing that it is lighthearted fun.
(Hell, a lot of the things being "made fun of" in this AU I genuinely like or are still a part of. Like Furry Gramble - I am a furry myself, and as I've said many times before he is heavily based on me when I was a younger, way more edgy furry kid.)
But that isn't the main and only reason why I am here and I am just overexplaining myself and making things appear way worse than they are. It's just me overthinking, really - but I still feel like letting everyone know and be responsible is important. Just a lil' reminder, a bop on the head if you will. Nothing too bad, but I fear nobody will read it if I'm not serious in the slightest.
Anyways, onto the other thing, being how this affected me as a peson. I absolutely LOVE seeing everyone's involvement and creations! I'm so very glad my creation brings joy to so many people, not only me and my friends. That it brings us together to just have fun, bond, and create. As said to me before, the fandom hasn't had anything like this before so I believe Shadow Filbo is important in that regard.
I'm still just a person and I want to talk about my work and interests to other people. Like people, you know. But I've also made it as an effort as a creator of a thing to respond to all the fanart I get, and just help people's work get out there. Same with OCs and all other creations within the AU. It all deserves to be seen, you're a great artist. And it makes me really happy to see people happy themselves when I respond to their work.
And even if the amount of stuff I've been getting daily has slowed down, it's still quite overwhelming to me sometimes. It feels like a chore sometimes and I don't wanna force a "YOOO ADSJDFEWRGREWGBRSTH" reaction onto everything because it's not always so genuine. I love seeing all the work but I won't have the excitement if reblogging it and putting in all the tags feels like a chore to me.
I want all this to be genuine and I've been feeling drained. It's absolutely amazing and I am glad that I had the chance and luck to have my work well-knowna nd noticed within a small community to be recognized even by the CREATORS of the thing I am hyperfixating on. But at the same time I feel responsible for a lot of stuff, and the effort I've made to be interactive is quite draining, as I've stated before.
It's taking a bit of a toll on me, and getting more stuff to respond to is like - dishes in the sink piling up into a bigger pile. I genuinely love all of this, but I'm just tired. I need a little break from responding to all of this... Just all the attention and stuff is making me socially exhausted. Definitely the fact I'm a massive introvert and my ADHD kicking in veery nicely. /s
I'm probably going to only reblog stuff involving my characters for the AU and Shadow Filbo himself - and any discussion in regards to the AU. Not someone else's art and OCs for the AU. There's a lot of it. Anyways, I'm starting to lag a little bit with how long this is getting. Yes, my computer is just that weak.
I'm already loosing track of what I've said but, yeah.
This AU has been great, I love it. I love you guys. I am happy for all the cool new people I've met, even if we aren't exactly friends. It's taken a bit of a toll on me and I'll do my best to take care of myself and just - not let it take effect on me. And I hope we can keep this place as accepting and inviting as it can be. Even if it takes changing the name etc. Though i know I cannot change individual folk's opinions.
Yeah, this is realy long now and I am getting double thoughts on this - and I have a test in 20 minutes so I am not sure how active I can be with this, but I doubt I'll be getting many responses yet considering it's 3 or so AM in the US. (9:50 AM here)
Cya guys, take care too. I'll upload a doodle I did yesterday as a little comfort thing after this :)
I hope I can get back onto working on OCs too, and just kinda sit down without artblock or executive dysfunction. Buh-bye now
(Also, sorry this is written in weird blocks/paragraphs, I'm doing this so it's easy on *my* eyes.)
#ramble#rambles#long#longpost#txt#shadow filbo#shadow filbo au#cringesnax#keeping that tag for now#I'm gonna have regrets once I'm less tired#The second I have slight regrets while typing or doing something I WILL regret it more later#I've made that observation well enough#But I hope what I mean comes across well enough...#bugsnax
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*points at butterfly* is this an artblock?
The last two years were intense for me, not because of pandemic, but due to fact I finished my art school education, participate in a thing, and was active in roleplay group which I'm still part of, but now in more stagnant position; I didn't roleplayed for few months and can't motivate myself to rp. At this moment the thing is close to be done, and I still have sympathy for my characters and the group members characters, I've started to play Final Fantasy XIV and I love the story and character that I created in this game, yet...
...I can't draw.
Possibly if I got commission or very strict idea for illustration I would do it, I would enjoy it, and the draftsmanship skills will be better than my last posted drawing, but when it comes to creations for myself, my head is empty. Even I can't to sit down and work on loose ideas I have noted. I feel so strongly 'meh' when it comes to drawing my characters, or even thinking about enriching their stories, or make simple portrait of them.
Is this an artblock? Is this effects of what motivates me to draw, my relationship within myself, and maybe even stuff I am not aware of.
Also I feel big pressure towards myself, to not to draw cringe, and to make fully finished artworks. I feel ashamed even to draw for myself something "cringy" or post online wips or just flat artworks. I feel my style isn't attractive with flat, the way i draw objects and humans is best suited as fully done, and I struggle with breaking this mindset.
At this moment, I don't know what to do besides finishing artworks for other people I am working on. Then? I don't know. I hope sharing these thoughts will give me a lead with how can I be motivated to draw for myself again.
#artblock#struggles#art talk#rambling#im sure i made this because i will have period within few days#XD
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Me, my Blog, OCs, Dolls and Expectations - a 2021 reflection
I am not sure where this post will lead but if I don’t want to read ramblings from an artist feel free to ignore this post.
I will put this under a cut.
With 2021 nearing its end I feel like this is a point where I can reflect this year a bit. Mainly the months since May, there have been a lot of things.
People who are in the BJD Discord might know it already but I had a bitter artblock, almost like a creative burnout back in summer. I think it started with my DV Mermaids being stuck in customs for over two months and several other things adding up until I ended up totally exhausted, hating or even feeling nothing at all for any of my creations. I felt drained and pressured by expectations, partly mine, partly from outside. Until things hit rock bottom and I had a mental breakdown over a photoshooting in August, which in the end ruined my summer break for me as it took me almost the whole time to get somewhat to function again (great when you think it was my last time off until now, in December - fyi I am working fulltime, partly the job of three people at once, worked overtimes countless times and am into a further education course that robs me off my free time too).
I stopped liking dolls for a while. I wasn’t able to do anything related to my own characters (no drawing, no mental planning, not even talking about them). Dolls that arrived in that timeframe suffered the sad fate that I will most likely will take some more months until I decide to honor them or not. I wasn’t even able to address my dolls with their character names.
The only thing that weirdly worked were fanbased dolls (aka Kaneki, Sabrina) and the pumpkins. The fandolls didn’t brought that “you need to match my expectations 100%” with them and the pumpkins helped me with their lightness and the fact that autumn was approaching.
It took me long to somewhat find joy in dolls again, finding joy in art again, to actually adress to dolls with their names and finally mental planning was a thing again in October.
I am still not fully back. I still can’t stand anything that makes me feel like pressure regarding the dolls. And it will result in me regretting doing things with certain dolls / focus more on the ones I can enjoy to the fullest (right now it’s Allen, ilovehimsomuch).
My best decision on the way was that I decided to turn that one doll into Mana, because that project brought me all the things back I enjoyed about dolls without any attached strings, as it was truly just for the fun and love for the character. Same for Allen. Both feel to true and honest to me, nobody expects a thing about them, as they are just fanwork.
And this should count for my other dolls too. Yes, some have very explored characters, but some will maybe have 2 sentences attached to them and that’s alright too. Not all my dolls have big stories attached to them, some have small texts, some are just here because I thought it would be fun to work on them. It’s nice to see some of my own creations are loved dearly but... don’t expect me to show them off or share anything about them. The doll you love might be difficult for me to work with, maybe just the doll itself and the character is fine or the doll is fine and there is just a “name” to the doll and nothing to tell. Please refer to my website if there is anything you want to know about the dolls, I post tidbits here and there on the blog but I won’t share full things. Even not if I am asked for it. I will share when I feel like sharing.
There have been issues of people trying to my copy dolls and their characters, there have been a case of my written full story being stolen and posted without my consent, there have been people who took my photos to gossip about them; I am quite sensitive to that topic. I just can say, some dolls might be just here to be pretty but I am very attached to all of them, all of their designs even if I only tweaked little things or made them mine with different face paints, clothes, wigs, etc. mean a lot to me, they aren’t just “any” dolls, they are personal projects.
I might be diving more and more into fandolls in 2022 because this is my current way to enjoy the hobby as a true hobby, as a fun thing, where I can share my love for characters and don’t feel heavy for it.
Also I slowed down my working progress which greatly helped me to find my joy again, I freed myself from some of the selfmade pressure that haunted me for a while - like how fast a doll arrives and how fast I can customize it. I will try to avoid jumping at releases that would maybe lead me back to that mindset and just concentrate on the plans I have, which all are promising a lot of fun.
Overall there were dark times for me this year BUT I feel like I rediscovered some truly important points and the glow in my photos came back, they stopped looking soulless (what they did in mid 2021) and I will just take my time. Nothing needs to be done yesterday, it’s a hobby, I have time.
Oh and I love my peeps from the BJD Discord, seriously there are so amazing people on this Discord. Sometimes I really feel like a child they babysit but without them I might have broken ties with the hobby already.
There have been a lot of negative things but I feel ... positive about this year?! Weirdly. Like maybe I needed that reset to find my true love for that hobby again. I love to customize dolls and I am very looking forward to my Withdoll John Twins to arrive, because they will be fun, I know it.
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hey, tulips, I just want to remind you that you are a wonderful person with very interesting thoughts. I have such a terrible artblock right now that I can hardly draw anything. you know, when you look at a piece of paper and all your thoughts go somewhere in the void. I then read your blog. it helps me. but I still hesitate to tell you this anonymously, although, but maybe you can guess who I am 🌻
also, have you ever considered joining omoricord? it's nice enough there,but if you are on the right channels. for example, black space hate Basil, it's scary-scary :")
aawwwwww!! this is so sweet!! I just got home from work and saw this and it put a smile on my face!! ;__; I’m really glad my silly little blog has been helping you, but I’m so sorry to hear about your artblock... I wish I had any advice to give, but I’m honestly not very good at dealing with it myself;;; but hang in there! as long as you don’t push yourself too hard, the inspiration will surely come back to you :>
(and I feeel like I do know who this is ehe. there’s no need to be shy! 🌷)
aaa.. as for omoricord, I’m not too sure. I’m not very good with discord servers, or group chats in general, especially when it’s so many strangers. I’m super shy anxious around people I don’t know aha... I also feel like I’m so picky about my OMORI views that if I saw someone say something I don’t like I might end up starting a fight or something HKJFDGHKGH so I think it’s best for me to stay here on my solitary little blog where I can try not to yell at anyone wwwww
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Artistic Advice and How to Draw Tip:
What to draw when you want to draw but don't know what to draw. (a confuzzling query, but worth re-reading a few times to understand; also, a longer post not strictly applied to drawing, but all forms of creativity)
My brain is wired for creativity, but it's also vulnerable to interference. I get the urge to create something as often as I breathe, then the pencil touches the paper and my mind goes blank. Oh, the woes of the dreaded affliction known as... "Art Block" *dun dun DUUUUUN*!!!! All too familiar, ain't it.
There's tons of videos and articles offering tips and tricks and all sorts of things to "overcome art block", "unblock art block", "how to deal with art block", all by artists who are well intentioned and are sharing what works for them, but maybe don't quite understand why this happens in the first place. Some tips were handy, some were brilliant, but most didn't quite do it, and I knew it was because I didn't understand WHY I had this problem. Someone like me likes to open up the machine and pick it apart to see how it works or why it's not doing so hot. So, I self-analyzed, (because I do that) and I found that the art blocks were actually (for me) invasive thoughts.
See... we human beans are superior to other organisms for having more (what's known as) "gray matter" to our brains, which allows for logic, reasoning, introspection, reflection, and (in a way) conscious memory that goes FAR beyond that uber cool intrinsic reaction known as muscle memory. It can also be our greatest downfall, where we end up over-reasoning things and condition ourselves to believe what works for one human works for all humans (mixing up our 'community-oriented' programming a bit). We're also wired with this innate competitiveness that drives us to "Be the best version of that socially acceptable/celebrated quality". And while we're at it, let's mix in that one goal that's persisted in all life since the beginning of time: constantly seeking perfection. What a mess.
Seems more like an integrated "Biology and Psychology" talk than a "How to Draw" tip... because it is. See, a human is more than the special skills or abilities they have. You are a bundle of nerves and tissues and other organic matter with this powerful, almost-esoteric (still unexplainable by scientific measurements) drive to form ideas and apply them while growing and developing the four pillars of your existence (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). That by itself is A LOT for this individual entity that is you to keep up with. Add in all the conditioning, wiring, nurturing, stress, variables, etc... and the system is guaranteed to fritz.
Anywhoodles. What does all this have to do with "art block"? Well, having at least a little understanding about why things can happen can offer better clues with how to approach an issue. And as an entire blob of wiring deemed inefficient in a neurotypical social structure, blocks to my creativity are frequent and can boil down to a lot of different reasons, each reason perhaps having a different solution. So, it's important for me to identify where the art block comes from before taking shots in the dark about how to deal with it.
Is it a condition of the mind or body flaring to blinding life? Is there too much stress to make a cohesive decision? Do I have too much on my internal table to focus on creative endeavors? Am I just so plain bored that I'm grasping at straws and the sketchbook was a desperate grab for something, anything to force my brain to make up its mind? Is the "perfection bug" sinking its grimy nubbins into my noggin and sucking out my confidence? Did the dish run away with my spoons? Am I hyper-focusing on fiscal profit over the joyful fulfillment of beauteous works of art (not every hobby needs to be a hustle, mon amie)? And these are just the possibilities coming to mind within a minute.
The ultimate point I would like to sink home for all of you that have read this far into this gargantuan post is: the block to your creativity is more than just a blanking of the mind. It's worth it to get to know your own wiring, and to show yourself some kindness, gentleness, patience, and gratitude when you run into that dreadful wall. Sometimes that wall comes up as the only way my brain can communicate that I will legitimately hurt myself if I push, and that invasive thought is the pause I need to realize: "Maybe I should ground out or meditate so the ideas and creativity can flow more freely." Art block can be an inconvenience, but it can also be a new perspective and a means of self-understanding and self-awareness. So, the next time you sit down with your tools and the drive to use them but no ideas... take a breath and ask yourself "Hey, boo, what's got us blocked?"
#arttips #tipsandtricks #patience #artblock
#art tips#artistic advice#creative advice#art block#dealing with art block#art block is often a mental health issue#artist#creative#creativity#overcoming art block#self help#self analysis#I write novels not greeting cards#self talk
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I’m back working at the office again. We were previously a work from home set up but our supervisor asked if there’s any volunteer to go back in the office.
I have issue with internet and it’s affecting my work so I volunteered. But at the same time, My main reason is because I dont really feel human again and I know I need to do something about myself because im the only and should be the one who could help myself and maybe going back to work even if Im kinda risking my health is a better option. (And if I ever got covid my only wish is for me to die quickly and painless like in my sleep or something like goddammit PLEASE LET ME REST IN PEACE)
I’m being inactive again, online and in real life. I’m having artblock and readersblock again, but 1 week of going to office is maybe ok. I am taking shower again and eating properly unlike before. And our office has really tight security and rules when it comes to safety and proper social distancing. At the very least I feel safe at the office. I just like the idea of going to work without having to interact or socialize with anybody. Like I dont have to force myself to pretend Im happy all the time and talk to my coworkers. Now, I can get free coffee, work in peace and i dont have to talk to anyone. That’s all I want in work LMAO
Sometimes, I think I should really go see a doctor and get myself fixed thru medicine or theraphy or something but that costs money and I defitely don’t have a luxury for that because I need to pay our bills and feed my siblings. And at the same time I feel like I’m just overreacting and just pretending to be this sad sad girl to get attention. I still doubt myself for having thse kind of thoughts and feelings. I can hear my friends voice already saying that there are people who are suffering and hurting more than I do, that I should just stop this nonsense, that I should stop acting like a teenager with an emo phase and be thankful. I’m trying I swear.
I don’t know how to end this. I think im feeling ok when I started going back to office than WFH set up because I have a reason to take a shower or something. I am able to sleep faster than before too, It still take some time but not like before that I almost couldn’t sleep. I still feel tired emotionally but at least my tiredness physically is overwhelming that so. I’m still worried about getting the virus but really I thought if I ever get sick, I just wish I have enough savings for my funeral so I gots to work hard.
I guess that is all...I will try to get back at drawing again. I have so many things I wanna draw but when I am infront of the canvas THOUGHTS ARE EMPTY lol.
I am playing Genshin Impact and I love it so much, I’ll probBly draw fanarts of them once artblock is gone...
So yeah, i guess that is all for now.
Maybe posting this shit is the only best option so if you are reading this, please don’t mind this. Just need to vomit some thoughts because life sucks
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Good morning!! I had question for you. As an artist with depression I often struggle with feeling excited and motivated to draw. Do you have any tips on how to stay enthusiastic about drawing? ❤️
Oh that's a very hard question cause you and me both, op. Regaining enthusiasm and excitement about anything is incredibly difficult especially if your mind is riddled with doubt, self-loathing and worst of all, by my experience, emptiness. It depends on the person, but I will try my best and tell you the things that worked for me that I hope will be able to help you regain your passion and enthusiasm for making art.
First, I want you to remember that drawing or making art is always about expressing yourself, learning to come into terms with who you are, learning to make that part of you shine upon the canvas. Art is not against you, it's with you, even if it doesn't feel that way at times. Treat it like a friend you can go back to when the world is crumbling. Treat it like a nice cup of cold beverage in a particularly hot afternoon, or a warm hearth in the middle of a cold winter. So when you're feeling incredibly sad, incredibly happy, or just a vast gaping feeling of emptiness, just try, try and draw something. Go back to it when you can. You're a creative person, you're an artist, and even if you feel like any creativity is zapped from you, still, draw. Just anything that makes you happy. Or just anything. Remember that you're doing this for yourself first. This can be your way of coping if you want. Maybe you could draw a little tree, a pond with ducks, or anything else. Just draw something for yourself. That's the important thing. Learn to love what you're doing first because you're the first audience of your artwork, and you should appreciate it and be enthusiastic with it no matter what the little voice on your head is telling you. You worked on it. You exerted effort on it. Therefore, no matter what, it has value. You have brought forth something on a blank space, a scribble, a nice little flower. That wasn't there before. Now it exists because of you. Isn't that wonderful? Try and remind yourself of this after drawing even if you're dissatisfied with the final result.
Art, for me, for a while back then has been my way of escape. Drawing things and conceptualizing them gives my mind a lot to think about to the point that it has no room for any other sort of thoughts, including negative ones. Usually, all the negativity comes after. But when I'm drawing, usually, i'm just there, not particularly enjoying it in the bad times, but very enthusiastic about it during the happy times. But making art is still there. It's just like your favorite book that you can go back to when all else has gone to dissarray.
In the subject of depression, it gets more complicated, I think. Since you lose passion for everything, and you may require outside things to help you regain that passion again. This also applies to artblock too. And when you find yourself not having the energy to draw, even if you want to, even if you're forcing yourself to, let yourself walk around and take a break. That's okay. Breaks are important, too. Maybe around this time, Art is your friend, but it also may feel like a childhood friend you drifted away from, and you need other factors too to help you interact with it again. So, listen to music, watch a movie, hang out with friends, empty your thoughts and have some time for yourself. Trust me when I say that eventually, you'll feel the urge to make art again, even after a long while. Maybe it's going to be a show which you loved so much that made you want to draw again, made you want to go back to that friend and talk to him or her bout it, and in this case, that friend is Art. Inspiration and motivation comes in all forms, sometimes you need to be the one to find it so that you'll get it, other times, it instead finds you. It's fickle like that, and it gets troublesome, but the important thing is you're still making art, or you will eventually make art. Do this all in your own pace. Don't feel pressured by other people around you who are producing art everyday.
This is where comparisons come in. Each one of us has something to offer since each one of us is a unique individual. You have something to offer just as much as the artist you're looking up to; you have your ideas that you want to share to the world, and they have theirs. When you find yourself feeling inferior, or feeling like you could never improve, take a step back and remind yourself of the fact that what you're doing has value, too, like I said earlier. Art takes time, improvement takes time, and do your best to stop yourself from comparing your works negatively from other artists' works. Doing that will lessen your enthusiasm because you'll find yourself thinking, "What else can I offer when other people has such amazing works like these?" No, darling, stop. Breath, take a step back, remind yourself: you have something to offer. Your work has value. Don't compare yourself to other people who has already gone far ahead. You're on your own road, do it on your own pace. Be kinder to yourself.
Now, for more technical things, you should also work hard to keep yourself inspired. You found that you like drawing a lot more now, you also found something that will help you keep drawing, now you need to keep going. Gather a collection of things that inspire you. That youtube video or a particular show that made you well up in tears? Bookmark it. Heard a speech that made you feel like you want to achieve something? Put it on your notes. Heard a song or a whole playlist that you can imagine drawing something for? Save it on your phone. It's the little things that help. I swear, it's really the little things that you can go back to. It doesn't even need to be connected to drawing. Just things that inspire you or make you happy. Your creative and artistic side will follow up upon that later. Jot down your ideas that pops up on your mind, and draw them for later. Great ideas usually pop up when you least expect it. Encourage yourself to try and draw every other day, or thrice a week, depending on how long you take to draw. People say that you should draw everyday to improve better, but I found it doesn't really work for me because the burnout gets here faster. My hands can't keep up with the influx of ideas, so I get frustrated. If it's the same for you, take your time to rest. Maybe the drawing-everyday may help you more than it did me. Try it out; experiment a lot. Remember, you're doing this to encourage yourself to draw more but don't push it to an extent that you'll find yourself burnt out. You're only starting out, and I'm the same too, maybe someday I could do the everyday drawings, but not now. Every little step counts, but do it on your own pace.
And lastly, when everything is said and done, when you're ready to post your artwork, or actually not even post it and you just want to see what you have created, pat yourself on the back. Know that someone somewhere will appreciate it as much as you did, because it's true. You may not think so now, but I can tell you that it is true. Also, look at it as a learning process. What about this particular piece that made you happy, what part of it bothers you? Use the answers you conjured for your next artwork. Every artwork is a step forward on making a better one. Remind yourself of that whenever you feel dissatisfied. And if you're comfortable, ask for help or criticism from others, too. Show your work to the world, be proud of it. You did this, and you created something that wasn't there before.
It's different for everyone, but I do hope you found something here that may help you. I want to thank everyone around here too because they made me learn a lot of things and to also be kinder to myself. And I want to tell all of that back to you too. I hope you regain your passion, and i'm looking forward to see your works. I may not know which one it's going to be, but I know that behind every artist, there's someone behind the screen like you, too. And I appreciate each one of your efforts and the love you put into creating, and how happy I am that one more artist in the world is doing their best to make it a better place with their art.
I'll end this with a suggestion for you; whenever I'm feeling exceptionally down in the dumps, I read Neil Gaiman's Make Good Art speech. If you haven't read or listened to it, please try and do so. It's an incredible speech and I always feel like I want to create everytime I read it. I hope it will inspire you too. All the best of wishes to you, anon. ❤
#ask#i wanted to take my time with this to answer better i'm sorry for the delay#i can really relate a lot to you anon#im sorry this got a bit long aaaa#im ssorry too im on mobile idk how to put it under read more 😭😭#sorry for ur dashboards
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