#this is maybe a very obvious statement but a lot of persona makes a lot more sense when you start learning abt jungian psychology | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sanstropfremir · 1 year

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I remembered an ask you got talking about how exo got really successful so quickly they didn't really get a chance to branch out and develop artistically, so I wanted to ask you about your thoughts on the members as solo artists since they all have atleast a solo album out (you might as well include exo sc since they got to put their own ideas in everything) and all of them were allowed to have a say in things creatively from lyrics,concept and packaging if they wanted too, especially since all their music except for the ballad singers is so different from each other

also wanna know if you were completely surprised with a member like a performance or a concept was something you'd never imagine them doing

omg did i???? i don't even remember my own asks anymore at this point sldkfsdlkfjl. i don't even know if i agree with my own statements there in the first place since exo has done a pretty wide variety of concepts over their lifetime as a group. ....WAIT i think this is about the kai v taemin ask re: image, where i said that kai hasn't been a solo artist for as long so there hasn't been the same type of exploration of image the way taemin has done. i think that is a fair point to extrapolate across to the rest of the exos, since none of them (except for yixing, he's a bit closer to taemin) have been soloists for very long, comparatively, and they all started as adults. personally i think it's a lot more apparent with their solo endeavours that they're confident in their artistic personas and personal tastes, and that comes across in the ones who have multiple releases. yixing is the one with that's shown the most variation, because he's been a soloist the longest, but i do still think that his stuff has some pretty obvious artistic fingerprints and consistency on it. he's matured a lot and in a very specific direction now, but you can see the genesis of a lot of his style early on.

as far as my personal opinions of all of their work goes, i do like that sm chose to debut them solo later in life. i'm sure it was an annoyance to the members themselves, but i think there's a benefit to being older and having a clearer sense of artistic identity and a long time to sit on ideas. it's hard to churn out solo work at the speed to match kpop turnovers and sitting on something so it can be exactly how you want it is good, actually. i like that kai's debut was really delayed bc it meant that there was a LOT of work put into it, and it shows. and i like that he took a full year for the first cb too. it was really clear to me that suho sat with grey suit for probably the entire time he was in the military, bc he came out rip-roaring with an incredibly well put together cb. the exos that have put out more solo work pretty clearly want to and care about what they're putting out, which i think is exactly how it should be. i don't listen to all of them equally, but the ones that get the most plays for me right now are baekhyun, suho, and xiumin. and then sc, probably.

i think my most dramatic surprise was by hurdle, actually. in hindsight it makes a lot of sense with where he's arrived after coming out of the military, but i wasn't expecting something so stylized from him, since he was tending towards the sort of artsy ballad type. tbh suho's discog is very artistically consistent and i can trace the things he's interested in visually, which i didn't even realize until i went back and watched the let's love mv and the dinner station. his stuff tends towards a more melancholy tone so that's why hurdle surprised me so much, because it's much more upbeat, but i think it stylistically matches with grey suit in a weird way (it's probably the colour matching). maybe next would be peaches? but that was mostly because i didn't like ANY of the songs on the album, which i'm still kinda disappointed about bc i really liked almost everything off mmmh. i wasn't that surprised by any of the visuals. sc is pretty much exactly what it says on the tin, chen's ballads are pretty typical also. i wasn't that surprised by kyungsoo's solo even though a lot of people were, because i was already kind of expecting him to do a ballad solo so rose wasn't that far off (and kind of preferable, personally). xiumin's was exactly what i wanted from him and i have zero complaints. uh who am i forgetting................oh baekhyun. nothing surprising about his discog, although i WAS surprised by how good bambi was. like he did not have to do that kind dance performance and nor was i expecting him to, but damn. honestly i'm still surprised every time i watch the mv.

#i think chanyeol maybe has the most 'unexpected' music since he's the rapper. but he's obvs interested in music so im not surprised per se #although the raiyeol stuff has been EXTREMELY funny to watch and i hope it results in actual music #and not just whatever the hell he keeps doing at raiden's house sldkfjsdlkjf #also very funny to me that raiden just picked another idol to dote on like he was down HORRENDOUSLY bad for xiaojun for like a year #kpop questions #exo w #on the whole i actually like a lot of the exos solo music #my baekhyun playlist is called 'real life incarnation of loki (derogatory)' and it does get regular play in my house #and i listen to a lot of tomorrow and break your box bc im an emo bitch #tbh i think it makes sense that most of them don't make 'idol' music as soloists #bc they really care about being 'idols' that much sdklfdfjk #like i think i would probably only consider xiumin's to be 'idol' music and the rest of them are just doing genres that they like #but as idols #text #answers

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shihalyfie · 3 years

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Shiramine Nokia, and her role in Cyber Sleuth’s narrative

This one’s on request! Cyber Sleuth is quite the interesting game and a rather landmark entry in the franchise, mainly for being a love letter to the franchise and its long history itself, and for being the franchise’s very first work exclusively aimed at adults, meaning that it can explore different topics that wouldn’t normally be Sunday morning timeslot material, while also being a little more willing to assume that the people playing this are familiar with a lot of older parts of the franchise (not that it’s advisable to have complete lockout, but the game benefits greatly by not needing to assume lockout by default).

One of the ways Cyber Sleuth exhibits its “franchise love letter” status is by starting off the game all the way back at the franchise’s roots, before Digimon Adventure changed the game and everyone’s perception of Digimon and Digimon partnership, when the V-Pet lore was intertwined with Digimon as elements of hard sci-fi. As the game proceeds, the atmosphere slowly starts to resemble the more fantasy-like version of the franchise established by Digimon Adventure and its follower entries -- and that change is represented in none other than Nokia herself.

Before we begin: As anyone who follows my meta work has probably noticed, I generally prefer to have my analyses use tons of references and screenshots so that it’s easy to follow and the evidence is concrete, but Cyber Sleuth is a game, and it’s much harder to get those things without replaying the entire game, so I hope this won’t be too hard to follow despite being mostly text.

Nokia’s background and personality

If we want to apply the producer’s statements on Twitter, Nokia is 17 years old at the time of Cyber Sleuth, and has a backstory of having originally been a shy, bullied child who broke out of her shell thanks to the influence of her cousin (who, of all people, happens to be none other than Date Makiko). The flashback we get with Nokia in chapter 18, however, portrays her as just a fairly cheerful, go-getter child, but (although we only get to see her hair) she’s not quite as “flashy” or in-your-face as the description entails.

A possible hypothesis for rationalizing this all together comes from a what we learn about the process of memory wiping in Cyber Sleuth chapter 14: even if memories are extracted from the person, there’s some kind of residual memory left behind (the producer’s above statement also states that the same thing had even happened to Suedou). In Hacker’s Memory chapter 16, Arata confesses to Ryuji that the first Under Zero incident and Jude's loss to the Knightmon had re-triggered his trauma from having lost Yuugo years prior -- “not the memory, but the feeling.” So in other words, there was some feeling of loss that came after the loss of Yuugo that impacted those involved -- and it’s very possible that this deeply impacted and traumatized Nokia as well.

Assuming we’re still following this line of thought (since, again, this background point wasn’t actually in the game proper), Nokia eventually decided to break out of her shell thanks to Makiko’s influence, and become eccentric and assertive, and thus, the game begins.

While we’re here, I also want to point out that Nokia is also voiced by Han Megumi, possibly the Digimon franchise’s most notorious “promoted fangirl” who freaked out after getting to meet her childhood characters’ voice actors while cast as Airu in the Xros Wars crossover and ended up casted in a handful of major Digimon roles thereafter as a result. Which is not to say that her voice performance wasn’t also absolutely perfect for the bright and aggressive Nokia, but, you know...considering the below analysis, food for thought.

Nokia as a representative of “the conventional franchise”

Cyber Sleuth opens on a world where Digimon are largely seen as hacker programs, and even the hackers themselves only see them as non-sentient programs; there are ones like Chitose who treat them with empathy, but his attitude seems to be kindness towards them in a way not entirely unlike a family would treat a Roomba. Although he doesn’t admit to it at first, Arata himself also comes from this “world” of hackers, and we later learn that Yuuko herself is as well (via her “Yuugo” persona), meaning that, other than the playable protagonist, Nokia is the only “outside-context” person -- a completely ordinary civilian who’s gotten dragged into all of this.

Much like, say, the protagonists of Digimon Adventure.

With this background behind her, once she’s thrown into the world of hackers, she immediately has a “fateful encounter” with Agumon and Gabumon, instantly recognizable as two of the franchise’s most prominent Digimon (and complete with their Adventure voice actors, too). And I do especially bring up Adventure specifically, because while Nokia’s position in the game does end up taking in certain elements that roughly came around that era and possibly slightly predated it (mostly Digimon World and V-Tamer), Agumon and Gabumon weren’t particular mascots of the franchise until Adventure basically blew everything to pieces.

Right off the bat, Nokia does not have a single shred of doubt that Agumon and Gabumon are living beings and should be treated as such (again, much like the protagonists of Digimon Adventure; even Taichi in his “is this a game?” mode never doubted this). And they open up their meeting with this conversation:

Agumon: Umm, who are you? Nokia: It... It can talk?! It's so... so... so adoooooorable! M-M-M-M-My name's Nokia. What're your names? Agumon: Me? My name is Agumon! Gabumon: I... I'm Gabumon. Nokia: Agumon and Gabumon? Hee hee! What weird names! Gabumon: Hey, they're not weird! Agumon: You're the one with the weird name! Nokia: As if! My name's not weird! Hee hee!

And on top of that, Agumon refers to Nokia as having a “familiar” scent. Remember this for later.

Nokia’s second encounter with Agumon and Gabumon in Cyber Sleuth chapter 3 involves her properly partnering herself with Agumon and Gabumon, and learning about the existence of the “Digital World”. Note that, for all intents and purposes, EDEN had been treated like the functional equivalent of the Digital World in this narrative up until this point -- cyberspace with hackers, coming from the network, it’s basically a “digital world” from top to bottom, and yet here Agumon and Gabumon are introducing the concept of a more fantasy-esque incarnation of a digital world. (And, in fact, despite EDEN being right there, many long-time Digimon fans playing this game often complained about how little you get to see the “Digital World” in this game, because of how associated that term is with something more fantasy-like.) So, again: here we have Nokia, who’s forming a partnership with Agumon and Gabumon as equals instead of recruiting them as hacker tools (even the protagonist wasn’t immune to this method), and being indirectly responsible for introducing the more fantasy-like concept of the Digital World that the modern franchise is currently associated with.

Nokia embarks on the conventional shounen anime character arc of starting off cowardly, but eventually learning to have her own inner strength, with her Digimon evolving in accordance to her emotions. And, eventually, in Cyber Sleuth chapter 8, she decides to form her own hacker team, called the “Rebels”. She ostensibly bases it off the old creed of Jude, having heard that they were a team that never caused trouble for others, but we later learn via Arata turning out to have been its former leader, and the even later portrayal in Hacker’s Memory of its spiritual successor Hudie, that this is an extremely rose-colored image of them -- Jude (and Hudie) was not a well-intentioned team by any means, but rather a sort of mercenary group meant to enforce the “freedom” of EDEN, often taking on shady jobs and “punishing” entities they considered to be causing chaos. But in this case, Nokia forms her team under the idea of legitimately fighting for justice and good will -- again, much like a Digimon Adventure protagonist.

In case the metaphor weren’t clear enough, Nokia decides that the members of her group will not be called “hackers”, but “Tamers” -- the same lingo used by the franchise to refer to a human who partners alongside a Digimon to help them get stronger -- and that she wants to promote the idea of humans and Digimon working in tandem (complete with emotional bonding exercises). For this, everyone looks at her weird, and yet her methodology, initially naive as it seems, keeps working, because Nokia’s natural charisma starts bringing people from different places together and making quite the formidable team. Everyone is perplexed by this, but perhaps it’s only natural, because Nokia has just independently invented the modern concept of Digimon partnership in a world where it did not exist. And this is eventually solidified by the Under Zero invasion in Cyber Sleuth chapter 10, in which Omegamon is finally formed (from sheer guts on her part).

Omegamon is yet another symbol of the modern franchise, but it’s important to remember that he hasn’t always been so; even his appearance in V-Tamer was as more of a tactical piece than any kind of game-breaker, but the impact of Our War Game! has led him to constantly make a resurgence in major franchise roles (maybe a little too much these days). However, on top of Nokia basically embodying the modern franchise itself by doing this, Nokia and Arata’s positions are an obvious reference to Our War Game! in particular, being Omegamon and Diablomon Tamers -- but they’re not seen directly fighting each other. In fact, Arata’s partner only ever reaches Diablomon when he’s at the highest point of his morality, so the reference is more ideological; Nokia represents the more idealistic and heroic side of Digimon, whereas Arata represents the more dirty-playing and cynical hard sci-fi side of it (remember that Diablomon himself was rather detached from the fantasy conflict of Adventure, being a mysterious entity that sprouted out of nowhere on the Internet and wreaked havoc). Moreover, Nokia’s usage of Omegamon embodies a theme that’s central to both Our War Game! and Cyber Sleuth itself as a whole -- while most people associate Omegamon with Taichi and Yamato these days, the original method of formation back in Our War Game! came from “bringing people from different places together”. Nokia managed to bring together a formidable army in a place where everyone else in the hacker world was trying to promote a dog-eat-dog philosophy, and the sense of cooperation is arguably making her stronger than anyone else.

(I should also point out that Nokia’s name is, obviously, a reference to the Finnish telephone communications company, and this has a lot of relevance to the game’s theme of connection, along with her phone Digivice...and, also, the method used to bring everyone’s powers together in Our War Game!’s spiritual successor, Diablomon Strikes Back. Feels a bit too on-the-nose here.)

In the second half of the game, when the world starts falling apart due to the Digital World portal opening, Nokia becomes one of most important people holding everything together as Arata goes off the deep end and Yuuko starts fixating on her own personal problems and revenge -- because she’s the one most in tune with treating Digimon as the living beings they are, she’s most active in advocating for them and helping them bond with humans, and and she’s the one making the chaos be a little less chaotic. The second half is basically the more fantasy-esque version of Digimon leaking into the sci-fi, with the sidequests progressively resembling your average Digimon anime monster-of-the-week episode, and holding that all together is Nokia, who becomes a vital figure in maintaining that fellowship by being in tune with the modern franchise’s philosophy.

Through all of this, Nokia ends up taking a role rather similar to a Digimon protagonist, which is highlighted very strongly in Cyber Sleuth chapter 18 when she ends up literally becoming the player character while the main protagonist is out of commission. During that time, Yuuko and Nokia learn the truth of what happened during the EDEN incident eight years prior -- and we also learn that the five children involved had an extremely conventional “first meeting in the Digital World” experience that could have been pulled right out of the first episode of a Digimon anime, with them having a lovely adventure meeting new creatures. And at the center of that “first contact” was none other than Nokia, Agumon, and Gabumon themselves:

Agumon: Um... who are you? Nokia: Ahem! I am Nokia! And just who are you? Agumon: Me? My name is Agumon! Gabumon: I... I'm Gabumon. Nokia: Agumon and Gabumon? Hee hee! What weird names! Gabumon: Hey, they're not weird! Agumon: You're the one with the weird name! Nokia: As if! My name's not weird! Hee hee!

Nokia, Agumon, and Gabumon’s meeting at the beginning of the game had been an (accidental) reenactment of their first meeting in the Digital World eight years prior -- and, in the flashback, Nokia invites them to go on an “adventure” with them. So in other words, Nokia getting involved in the hacker conflict at the beginning of the game was, unknown to all of them, her attempting to restore that beauty and idealism of the Digimon Adventure-esque philosophy and fun in a world where the Eaters had torn it away and EDEN had turned into a haven of cynicism and hacker battle royale.

In the end, the game’s conflict is only resolved by bringing everyone together; Arata has to be retrieved from the deep end, and Yuuko has to settle her deep-seated personal grievances. Everyone makes a promise to return together, in the sense of making things right and repairing the connections between them that had been cut in that incident. The final battle (momentarily) causes the playable protagonist to literally fall apart, and the one reaching out to them and sending her message to them at the end of the game is none other than Nokia herself -- again, in the absence of the game’s protagonist, Nokia is the one with the closest role, because in the face of the new world going forward, she was the one who contributed most to restoring its idealism.

Ultimately, all of this is especially because Cyber Sleuth works under one of the most terrifying imaginable premises for a fan of a kids’ franchise: “we made an entry for this, but for adults.” Many of us can testify that this kind of premise can go very well, or very badly -- the latter especially in the case of things that decide “taking the opportunity to do things that you can’t do on a Sunday morning kids’ timeslot” means “going out of your way to put edgy violence and sexy things and cynicism just because you can”, or, in other words, looking down condescendingly on its kids’ franchise roots with malice and deciding that something for adults means “more suffering” and not “issues that require more life experience to understand”. The reason the game ended up getting as much acclaim among longtime Digimon fans as it did was that despite being the franchise’s first venture into this territory, it did end up setting itself up as something that took that opportunity to do something new and unique that would have never made it into any of the prior entries (holy hell the doll quest) and yet never gave up on the idealism and themes of connection that make up the franchise at its core, and paid respect to everything that had contributed to all of that while it was at it.

And at the center of that is Shiramine Nokia, who is effectively the spirit of Digimon Adventure, condensed into a single character.

#digimon #digimon story cyber sleuth #shiramine nokia #nokia shiramine #shihameta

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princessofprocrastination · 3 years

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Not Suitable (Quackity)

MASTERLIST

pairing : quackity x female reader

summary : quackity has always had a specific vision of what he wants his partner to look like and certain qualities he wants in them. unfortunately for you, you are the opposite of what he wants. (ANGST)

as a kid, you loved the whole girly look. you wore dresses, short heels that came in a princess toy set, and wore pink lipstick all the time.

but as time passed, as you grew older, your look changed completely. you like to say that you simply matured, that it wasn’t at all serious. slowly but surely as you were in your teenage years, your favourite colour became black.

that didn’t mean you didn’t like pink or these other “girly” colours. sometimes, you’d even incorporate some of those bright colours in your outfits to make a statement. you just seemed to like black, it matches with everything.

although you kept wearing black outfits or have black or dark nail polish on, your hair never stayed black or a dark colour. you just hated the look of the natural colour on yourself. it sure did fit other people, though.

you liked to describe your style as trendy. you always follow the trends of recent times and wore what you thought looked good on you.

you sat down next to sapnap, dream in the next room. you and sapnap had been friends since highschool. you skipped a grade, making yourself one of the youngest in that class which meant that you were lonely and no one really wanted to make friends with you.

but that quickly changed when nick came up to you and offered to eat lunch with you. since then, he had been your soulmate. platonic soulmate.

of course, being friends with nick meant that you were bound to meet the other two boys that he considered his best friends, too. it just so happens that you, george and clay ended up building an amazing friendship really quickly.

three guy bestfriends. that technically equals to having three big, protective big brothers. they really cared about you and you can see that, even if they often make fun of you.

nick started his stream, facecam on as you sat on an extra gaming chair that clay had next to nick. you typed away on your phone as he started rambling about random things while waiting for more people to come on.

apparently today you and nick were meant to play some scary game, you controlling the keyboard, him on the mouse. nick often forgot that it takes you a lot to get scared.

“we’re making this video inspired by quackity and karl’s stream from a while ago.” nick told his stream, you nodding your head to agree.

you smiled softly at the name he mentioned. quackity. it was apparent to everyone that you had some sort of crush on him. the small smiles, the little blush that rose to your cheeks if someone were to mention your ship name or tease you about it.

it was all too obvious. of course the three boys you call your best friends knew, you’d never keep such a secret from them. but no matter how annoying the boys can be, they never once told anyone else about your not-so-little crush.

but that didn’t mean they didn’t tease you. they enjoyed it whenever your face would turn red, whether it being you’re embarrassed or you’re mad.

the only weird part is that nowadays, they don’t even bother to tease you anymore, not like they used to. you knew they were hiding something from you, you just didn’t know what they were hiding.

for example, you seated next to sapnap, grinning as he mentions quackity’s name. he would never let you live down that moment. he’d tease you senseless. but this time, he only glanced at you and looked back to the stream.

and what was that? seemed like a pity glance. almost looked like he felt bad.

you two continued the stream as the ‘scared counter’ keeps going up as sapnap keeps getting scared, you constantly laughing at him.

“HOW ARE YOU NOT EVEN FLINCHING?” nick screams in your ear.

“cause i’m not a pussy.” you answered him simply.

“oh shut up, will you.” he rolled his eyes, you laughed at him being a scaredy-cat.

you two played for a while more as the counter on the bottom left of the stream screen gets higher and higher. soon enough it reached it’s limit which meant that sapnap needed to end his stream.

it was weird how time works. one second, things were mellow and slow, just like how your everyday is, and the next second, your name was trending everywhere.

you didn’t even want to check why at first, since you knew how weird and surprising your followers are.

“dude, you need to check twitter.” nick told you in a hurry while he runs from the second floor, to the kitchen in the first floor where you were sitting, editing a video for your channel.

so you did exactly that. you scrolled through the trending page and clicked on your name. then, you saw hundreds, if not thousands edits and videos of quackity and your video.

the video of yours that was posted was the part when you smiled at the mention on quackity’s name but as you scrolled more, it seemed that everyone had dug through and collected snippets of you blushing or smiling when quackity was mentioned or when you were on call with him.

you and quackity were no stranger to each other. the two of you knew each other, sapnap and him being friends and all. you just couldn’t help but fall for him. he’s just extremely charming.

although your exterior showed otherwise, you really swooned just by looking at his pictures.

and that’s why all the stans are going crazy. they didn’t think you’d fall for someone, especially not a man who act like a child on the internet. but you can’t predict people, especially not who they like, or more, love.

you slowly panicked. this was embarrassing to you. more so that it’s all over the internet. there was no way you could erase all of the posts.

on the outside, you looked composed, like it didn’t effect you at all. but nick knew you well, he knew you had a million thoughts in your head at that point.

you were just a second close to getting into a panic attack. “hey, hey. calm down, everything’s good.” nick coos in your ear as he pulls you close to him. he knew that you hated to be left alone when you panic.

you hated this feeling. it felt so unnecessary and it felt like you were making matters bigger than it actually is.

but the boys would tell you otherwise, they’d make sure that thought leaves your head as soon as it reached.

your body being rocked back and forth helped you calm down as you slowly start to forget the reason of your panic in the first place.

when you do come back to stream regularly, you tried to play off like nothing had happened, like it was all a dream.

that is one bad habit you couldn’t get rid of for some reason. you liked to just run away from your problems, big or small. you would often play it off like it didn’t matter to you, eventhough it is very much the opposite.

you’re just scared of getting hurt. you didn’t want to hear the rejection, you could never brace yourself for that kind of pain.

but somehow this was different. you braced yourself. you didn’t know what drove you to it, but you did. maybe it was the small signs your friends showed you that you never noticed. it was like you knew that rejection was bound to happen, and that this one would hurt the most.

you told yourself that you would never let yourself get hurt over someone, especially males. it just never made sense. they were never really worth your time, anyways.

although personally you’ve never ended a relationship of yours badly, just maturely, you’ve read and heard how painful relationships can be. and you never understood why people kept going back into relationships when they hurt so much.

but you get it. he’s simply addicting. you felt like you couldn’t distance yourself from him. but you needed to. and you knew that. all your friends told you that.

you weren’t going to let some man put you down because of what you look like.

granted, it hurt at first, but you learnt to heal, you learnt that although he probably isn’t going to be the only man who hurts you, you needed to suck it up and not show him the pain you felt. you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

to summarise it all. quackity finally beat around the bush and came out with a statement on his own on his stream.

content creators or public figures often learn that they need to leave things for private, that they can’t spill everything out for people to hear. that causes drama.

but he didn’t stand back at all. everything he thought about you was shared on stream for all his viewers to know. maybe you liked him for his persona after all, not the real him.

“talk about it?” quackity read his donation.

“sure, i will.” he started. here it comes.

nick told you that in order to heal and move past the pain quickly, you can’t run away from your problems, to face the current issue. so he made you watch quackity’s stream.

you didn’t feel like shedding a single tear today because of how exhausted you are from crying for hours on end, but still agreed to your bestfriend’s wishes to sit through a long stream.

to be honest, you weren’t expecting him to speak on it, given the amount of time he’s waited. it’s been a couple months since it happened so you could only imagine the shock of his viewers when he finally did say something.

maybe the constant spam finally got to him.

“she’s not my type, chat.” he said. oh, that wasn’t so bad. no pain just yet.

“she’s far from it.” okay that pinched you a little. were you really that bad. you waited for his explanation.

“she looks so emo all the time, it’s scares me. does she ever not wear black?” ouch. and yes, yes you do.

“she’s just not what i like in women. i like soft girls who are respectful and know when to keep their mouth shut and definitely a little more conservative.” whoa. okay, maybe that hurt extra than the rest.

you turned to nick, he had the same shocked look on his face, clearly not expecting to hear that come out of his good friend’s mouth, especially on stream.

quackity doesn’t end there. he pulls out his phone, typing away. soon he pulled up a picture of you from your instagram account, showing his stream.

“she looks like she barely graduated highschool. she’s not one with a future, chat. just stop shipping us. i don’t like that.” he finally finishes, locking his phone and putting it down, continuing playing his game from earlier.

you closed your eyes for a while, trying to process it all.

“are you going to cry?” your bestfriend says from next to you. you shook your head.

“i’m furious.” you told him, voice soft but slightly menacing.

“holy shit. i’ve been waiting for this.” nick says, jumping in his seat. you knew exactly what he meant.

you aren’t the type to get mad. you only got mad jokingly. and as much as you look emo and depressed all the time, you’re practically a walking sunshine, you just don’t show it due to your resting bitch face.

and although nick and you have been friends for god knows how long, it wasn’t often he saw you mad. and it excites him to see you enraged, to say the least. to him, you always ‘pop off’ when you’re mad.

you made sure you cooled off slightly before you go off on the man. you didn’t want to do things you would regret, after all. but to you, you didn’t think you’d regret anything at this point.

you waited a couple days before you tweeted something.

it was simple, your tweet. just two photos. first, it was a photo of your acceptance letter to harvard law school from a year ago, followed by a photo of you carrying thick and heavy textbooks for school that was taken by nick when he visited you in campus.

it was captioned, “not one with a future.” simple, but it was obvious that this was going to blow up. you looked up from your phone to nick before you tweeted it.

you two shared a smile. a grin, if you will. it was like the two of you knew what that tweet would do.

you knew this was going to be surprising to your followers, too. you’ve never spoken about going to school after highschool. sure, if they scrolled far enough on your channel and listened through everything, they might know you skipped grades, which was the reason you met nick but most of them didn’t know. and you didn’t blame them.

what you would blame them for is that they sat and listened to everything quackity said in that stream. they all thought you were just one dumb, depressed girl who had no future. one that relied on a social media career.

only if they knew how wrong they are. well, that didn’t matter now. they all knew.

that was the only tweet you sent out regarding the matter. you didn’t want to prolong it, it isn’t worth your time.

when you did stream a couple days after you sent out that tweet, your twitch viewers sky-rocketed. it was weird, almost. but they weren’t there to patronise you. the opposite, really. they said sweet words, donated generous amounts and gifted plenty of subs.

you would answer questions as donations slowly came in. and one in particular caught you eye.

“why aren’t you in school.” the monotoned woman asked.

“i’m not currently in school because it is closed due to the pandemic. but i’m currently attending it online.” you answered swiftly, not really focused on the question but more to the parkour you were doing.

from time to time, your eyes glanced at your chat to see if they said anything that caught your eye, apart from the ones that bashed you for liking their favourite content creator.

it cracked you up to see how far stans would go to protect their favourite creators. granted, it made you feel a little envious seeing how many people unfollowed you when the drama happened. you wanted to know just who would stand with you, besides your actual friends.

“what would you describe your style?” the monotonous woman spoke once again as a donation came in.

“thank you for the 10.” you started, and then pausing to actually think about it before you answered.

“i think my style is a little more dark but not emo, as most people call it. i also don’t dress conservative.” you finished, feeling good about your answer.

you were not brought up in a conservative family, so that was shown in the way you dressed. no, you never really left the house in your bra and jeans, not saying that style isn’t cute, but you never stopped yourself from showing a little bit of skin.

you also were not the type to get insecure, so reading through comments on your posts have never really affected you. but there was something about the comment quackity said that made you rethink about a lot of things.

you hated that feeling, though. you hated that you let a man say things about you and made you feel apologetic about it. you knew it should never be like that. why did you let a man step all over you? it irked you that you stooped so low.

things also never got easy after the little drama. sure, you gained a little more publicity, but you felt nauseous knowing what attracted them. you’re just now constantly reminded how you got a higher number of following.

nonetheless, you’re grateful for the platform given to you, although this wasn’t the path you chose to take.

it didn’t take you long to recover from the tiny insecurity you found yourself having. you started not caring even more, posting even more photos of you. some might say you grew to be a narcissist.

but you enjoyed it. it showed people just how much you grew and learnt from what happened.

you’re glad you moved forward from it and never dwelled on the things he said about you.

also, did you mention that quackity apologised?

guess not.

Part 2

#quackity #quackity x reader #quackity imagines #quackity imagine #quackity fanfic #quackity fanfiction #quackityhq

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denialcity · 2 years

Text

I'm curious about how they'd interact with each other in public?? like it gotta differ from their bedroom situation. I see the bros being either super disinterested, feigning ignorance (the whole 'we are not dating' thing) or teasing in the most asshole-y way every time Kawarama as much as shows up in their general vicinity (both Taka and Meguru being bitches in their own way, one more forward with it, convoluted passive-aggressive (or just aggressive) verbal abuse and all; one going for Big Bitch award in his law proposals that go to Kawarama for reviews, or whatever the fuck founders of konoha gotta do)

( @firecoloredwater if theres anything you wanna retcon, edit, or add pls do)

pre-breakup all three of them do the “we’re not dating” thing lol. and in the beginning that’s true, they’re really just having sex. they don’t interact in public much unless there’s some meeting/other reason like that for it

Kawarama has a lot of identity invested in being an uchiha hater so he deals with the “forbidden” desire of wanting the two Most Uchiha (clan head and heir) to wreck him by being very strongly in denial. filthy uchiha! he’s using them! yeah! (so believable lol. his mental gymnastics are a sight to behold and they are beholding.) He is somewhat cold/hostile to them in public, but he’s also very obviously/easily flustered. He catches feelings the earliest.

Taka mostly ignores Kawarama early on especially, and just occasionally like. looks Kawarama over really blatantly and smirks (probably mostly while in front of Hashirama/Tobirama)

Meguru is a very reserved formal person eg he always uses Kawarama-san. He also compartmentalises *hard* because he’s an olden timey politics/diplomat/courtly role so he’s very conscious of his image and already separates his public persona(s) from when it’s just him and Taka and he’s being himself. He has no problems separating work/publicly hostile Kawa and sexytimes Kawa, in fact it’s just like “okay Kawa does the same thing as me”.

maybe like year 3 onwards it gets a bit blurry. Taka and Meguru both develop feelings as well.

Meguru wouldn’t want to spend a lot of time with Kawarama in public because of crossing those personas other than the secret flirty teasing and maybe slightly less secret when its to annoy tobirama.

Kawa strongly associates Meguru’s fan and voice with sexytimes so if the two founding clans are in a meeting and meguru gestures with his fan and his voice drops into what kawarama thinks of as his sex voice range, kawarama suddenly has to find something to put in front of him. Kawarama learns to just make sure there’s always something in front of him if Meguru is in the room. Tobirama’s judgment increases.

Meguru also somehow arranges to share an office with Kawarama. Kawa really likes looking at Meguru so it’s lowkey sexy torture everyday. Meguru does not allow anything to happen in the office though, bc he still does NOT like to cross his personas. If Kawa tries he’ll get that bayonetta voice line where its like no one said you could touch (sexy threat). Meguru still thinks it’s the most obvious I like you statement ever (he’s letting Kawa into other areas of his life! Just a tiny bit!) and Kawarama just gets Nothing of it.

Meguru might also lure Kawarama in public. Like tobirama and kawarama are out eating lunch together, Meguru is passing by and sees them, goes up behind Kawa and breathes "oh how nice to see you here Kawarama-san" and kawarama gets turned on while tobirama is RIGHT THERE ACROSS THEM he instantly wants to Die. Meguru has learned how to have fun with Kawarama and any/all of his brothers that are also present, he can and will use his relationship w kawarama to piss tobirama off. He’s not even that demonstrative normally but in front of tobirama? rip kawachan.

also playing games like whispering “hey if you leave with me right now ill let you **** ** *****. take your time to decide, if you catch up with me before i reach home, the offer stands /walks out/ ” and kawa has to decide between ditching tobirama and getting judged hard or ultra rare sex w meguru. Meguru wins because the fact that Kawarama even had to think means Tobirama is already judging him. taka thinks this is hilarious.

taka will talk to kawa in public now, but to an outsider (and sometimes Kawa bc he is Not Getting the subtle affection layers of this interaction) it looks like bullying ahhahaha

Taka would also start finding more reasons to spend time with Kawarama though like arranging to go on a mission with Kawarama. Teases a little bit and Kawarama goes no seriously it’s a MISSION, you’re a clan head, if we mess up you’ll look worse than I will, back off. Taka does. He’s proud of himself bc look he is respecting Kawarama’s boundaries. Kawarama is like TOO EASY SUS!!! And overthinks to conclude that Taka only listens when what Kawarama wants lines up with The Good Of The Uchiha Clan which isn’t really listening at all. dakfjhsadkjhfksdaf idiots.Taka also ambushes Kawarama a Lot after they get back but that’s separate.

post breakup and getting back together

Takami tries to take Kawarama on dates and they both suck at this. it’s so awkward. Kawa like ohmygod can we just fuck its literally less painful and considering our tastes that’s saying something.

Meguru might secretly go go kiss him goodbye behind the gates when kawa goes for a mission. secret, so it’s not crossing personas but is still more “risky”. Kawarama does not get how a kiss is risky when the entire village has been accusing them of dating for years now but he has enough context at this point to know that Meguru does so he appreciates it. kawa jumps meguru the moment he gets back.

(running theme: all their problems would be solved if they just communicated. tragically, they all just. straight up dont speak the same language. hc that the uchiha just have a lot of subtle unspoken communication and senju are just blunt and say Everything. Uchiha look for the things Senju aren’t saying out loud and find things the Senju aren’t actually saying at all, then they're SO OFFENDED bc the senju are SO RUDE. To the senju its just like. the uchiha get worked up over literally nothing.)

#dt3 #replies from the city council #hello spicy food #hey 'anon' i didnt tag you bc i wasnt sure if you wanted to be identified but <3 #also reserving the right to retcon bc i await paras return from the war #senju kawarama #uchiha meguru #uchiha takami #mine

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bloodbending222 · 3 years

Note

Could you maybe do a korra x reader where both of them are super obvious about the fact that they like each other, so literally everyone knows except them, then Bolin (haha that just autocorrected to bologna) convinces Korra to finally ask the reader out and it's very fluff? THANK YOOOOOOOUUUUUU.

B O L O G N A

✰ fandom: The Legend of Korra

✰ pairings: Korra x reader

✰ word count: 2k

✰ warning(s): alcohol consumption, tiny steaminess at the end, language

✰ author’s note: this was a lot of fun to do, i thought writing Korra would be a bit challenging for me, but i had a blast writing this! thank you for the request, anon! i really hope you like it :) ♡

please read my rules!!

The buzzer for your front door rang again as you fixed your hair in the mirror for the third time, your small apartment filling with its shrill sound. He was holding the button down this time. You hated to keep your friend waiting in the cold, but he was the one who opted to wait for you outside rather than coming in.

The same nervous phrase played in your mind again, Korra’s gonna be at the party.

Groaning, you walked over to your callbox and held down the talk button, “I’m getting my boots on!”

When you opened the front door to your apartment, you were greeted with a very cold gust of wind and a grumpy expression from Bolin. He was shivering, cradling the bottle of cactus juice he brought along as a party favor. He watched you walk out in front of him and started after you. Fluffy snowflakes floated around the two of you in the winter air.

“It’s so cold! How long does it take you to get ready for a party?!”

“Oh, don’t act like you don’t take a century to make yourself look good either, Mr. Hero of the South,” you teased as he caught up with you.

Bolin was quick to defend his fictional persona, puffing out his chest dramatically, “Hey, don’t bring Nuktuk into this. He’s only ever fashionably late for everything. You’re just late now because you know that Korra’s gonna be there.”

Bolin’s statement made your face flush bright red. You wound up your open palm and playfully smacked your friend in the arm, which made him laugh.

“Hey! It’s not my fault you make it so obvious, with the way the two of you are always sitting so close together. You think you’re slick when you stare at her while she’s not paying attention, too. It’s kind of adorable,” Bolin snickered, “But Asami, Mako, and I can see right through you, [Y/n].”

You looked down at your boots as they tamped down on the fallen snow with every step. You knew Bolin was right. You were infatuated with Korra from the beginning. You recalled the day that Bolin introduced you to each other. He’d introduced her as the Avatar, and she laughed and said, “Unlike Bolin here, I’m not one for formalities. Just call me Korra.”

Her smile was so warm. You felt enchanted by her presence, hesitating to shake her hand when she held it out to you. You remember looking at her and asking yourself, how could someone be so gorgeous?

“You would make a cute couple.”

Bolin’s remark snapped you back into the moment, “What? No way, she’s not into me.”

There was a pause between you two. Bolin gave you a look that said, You’re so full of shit and you know it.

“Besides,” You stuttered, “even if she did...she’s too busy for a relationship. She has more important things to worry about.”

The two of you rounded the corner and Bolin remarked as you came to a stop at Asami’s apartment building, “[Y/n], my friend, nothing’s more important than looove.”

You rolled your eyes and Bolin pressed the buzzer marked SATO.

“Who is it?” Asami’s voice inquired over the crackling speaker.

“Republic City Police,” Bolin said in a tough-guy voice, “If you don’t let us in, you’re under arrest.”

“Right away, officers,” Asami replied, and you heard Korra’s laughter in the background. You swore your heart skipped a beat.

The door buzzed and you let yourselves in, climbing the stairs up to Asami’s unit. She opened the door and was met with a bear-hug from Bolin. In the living room, you saw Korra turn around and beam at you. Mako waved at the two of you with a pleased, “Hey, guys,” as he sat on the couch.

Before you could take off your coat, Korra walked over and embraced you. You smiled and hugged her back, blushing at your newfound knowledge that your entire friend group somewhat knew about your feelings for her.

“I’m so happy that you’re here, [Y/n]. Asami made snacks, we’ve got games,” she pulled away from the hug and looked at you inquisitively, “How’ve you been? You look great.”

You got a little flustered at Korra’s compliment paired with the physical touch she was giving you so openly. She wasn’t wearing her normal attire; she had on dark jeans and a blue cardigan sweater with a white halter top underneath. When you looked at her eyes, you noticed she had mascara on.

Why do you have to be so pretty? You wanted to say.

“I should be saying that to you, Korra. I like your outfit.”

Not too obvious, [Y/n].

As the two of you finally broke from your hug, Bolin handed Asami the bottle he brought and joined Mako in the living room. Asami offered you a drink, and you accepted. She poured glasses for everyone and soon all five of you were huddled together around the coffee table in the living room, snacking and chatting amongst each other.

Korra sat down next to you on the floor, while Asami, Mako, and Bolin shared the couch. Asami set up a couple of games for you all to play, and Bolin insisted that you all have a Pai Sho tournament. His proposition made you roll your eyes at his predictability, knowing that he had a vendetta against Asami for being so much better than him.

As you watched your friends go back and forth, Korra went to scoot a little closer to you, making your shoulders touch. You felt the skin on your arm vibrate under the soft fabric of her sweater. You could smell the perfume she was wearing; subtle, but so pleasant. You caught yourself stealing glances at her a couple of times and remembered Bolin teasing you about it earlier in the night. You didn’t care if you would hear it from him again, though. You were just happy to be so close to her.

Asami crushed both Bolin and Mako at their rounds of Pai Sho. They had decided midway to make it a drinking game, Asami being closer to sober than anyone else in the room. Mako sunk into the couch and admitted his defeat, empty glass in hand. Bolin was comically shouting about how Asami had cheated in some far-off way. She reveled in her victory.

There was a beat of silence before Mako slowly looked at you and Korra, asking, “You two gonna play at all tonight?”

You and Korra both looked up at the same time, snapped back into the present moment. The both of you stuttered at the same time something to the effect of, “Oh, no, its okay,” and, “We just want to watch you guys play.”

Bolin couldn’t help but stifle a chuckle, and you shot a glare at him. He put his hands up innocently and gave you the same look that he did during your conversation earlier.

Korra suddenly stood up, smiling, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Why don’t we find a game to play that we’re all good at while I’m gone, okay?”

As she left, she brushed her hand against your shoulder blade, making you shiver. You wondered if it was on purpose.

Korra could hear the group talking outside of the bathroom. As she opened the door to return to the group, she jumped as Bolin was waiting right outside, leaning against the wall. He stared at her with a smirk across his lips.

“Jeez, you scared me. What’s that look for?”

“Oh, no reason,” Bolin said sarcastically, cracking his knuckles, “It’s just that you were taking such a long time in the bathroom, I wanted to check on my good ‘ole pal Korra.” He threw his arm around her and squeezed, “Hey, so you like [Y/n], right? Like, you wanna be their girlfriend?”

Korra gave him a poorly-faked look of shock, blushing, “What are you talking about?”

Bolin didn’t respond. He just stared blankly at her.

“I mean, I really like hanging out with them, and they’re really nice, and,” She stopped herself, stuttering now, “We’re just really good friends!”

“Yeah, okay, I believe you. Listen, you should ask them out.”

Korra was taken aback, “You really think they’re gonna--”

“Yes, Korra. I do,” Bolin pointed a thumb toward the open guest bedroom door next to him, “Now, I’m gonna call [Y/n] over and you can go confess your undying love for them in there, okay?”

“Bolin, I’m not--”

“[Y/n], Korra needs you for something!”

You perked up at the sound of Bolin calling you from down the hallway. Breaking your conversation with Mako and Asami, you walked over to see Korra standing in the doorway of the bathroom and Bolin wearing the same stupid smirk again. You looked at Korra and smiled.

“Hey, Korra, what’s up? Everything okay?”

Bolin laughed, “It’s about to be!”

You scoffed at him as he marched triumphantly back to the living room, cackling with pride the entire way.

He left you all alone. With Korra.

“What are we gonna do with him?” You asked, and Korra chuckled.

“I’ve been wondering that for years.”

The two of you shared a laugh, and then her eyes met yours. And there that feeling was again. With every look you shared with her, you felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest.

But this time you realized that Korra was a little flustered too. Her cheeks grew pink and she broke eye contact, but only for a second before looking back at you and taking your hand.

“Um, want to just...sit and talk for a minute?”

Her hand was soft, which you were aware of already. You were obviously used to being a little touchy with each other, but when you got brave, sometimes you’d hold out your hand to her, palm up, and she’d take it in hers. You didn’t know exactly why you did it in the moment, but whenever you did, it just felt right. It felt so right to be holding her hand in yours.

All you could do was nod. She led you to the bedroom and turned on the lamp on the bedside table. The two of you sat down, Korra sitting cross-legged and facing you. She let out a long, deep sigh. You watched her as she searched her mind for the right words to say. She was so cute when she was concentrating.

She finally spoke, “I’m so happy that you came out tonight. There’s something that I really need to tell you.”

“Is everything alright?” You got a little self-conscious, “Was I being too touchy?”

“No, of course not!” Korra shook her head frantically and held both of your hands in hers, “You could never make me uncomfortable like that. I really love being around you, [Y/n].”

You smiled and adjusted yourself to come face-to-face with her, “I love spending time with you, too, Korra.”

She paused to find her words again. There was a beat between you two before she broke the silence.

“I really, really like you, [Y/n]. You make me feel so happy in a way that no one else has made me feel before...” She swallowed her fears and looked at you intently, “Do you want to go out with me?”

You felt fireworks go off in your chest. All of the anxieties you were feeling from earlier felt like they dissipated in that moment. You didn’t know how long you were waiting for this moment to come.

“Yes,” you said, leaving toward her almost on instinct, “Of course I do.”

Korra gave you the biggest smile you’d ever seen on her. She let go of your hands to wrap her arms around you and pull you close to her. You made eye contact again, but only for a moment before she leaned in and kissed you. You were in shock. You had waited for this moment to come for so long, and now it was finally happening. You returned the kiss to her and wrapped your arms around her shoulders. You felt like you could never be close enough to her.

You could really smell her perfume now. You reveled in the feeling of finally being able to kiss her like this, unafraid to conceal your feelings for her any longer. Her lips were soft against yours, and despite the countless times that you imagined this moment to happen, you never could have conceptualized just how euphoric it actually would be.

Eventually, the sound of your friend group’s laughter echoed into the guest bedroom, and you were broken from your trance.

We’re still at the party, you remembered.

Unaware of how much time had passed, you pulled away, realizing that Korra somehow ended up practically on top of you. Brought back to the present, the two of you slowly sat back up and gazed at one another.

“We should, uh, probably get back out there,” said Korra, breathless at the intensity of the moment you just shared.

You nodded in agreement and stood up with her. She took your hand in hers and squeezed as the both of you walked out together. She looked proud, and you felt so happy, so relieved.

As the two of you returned, Bolin threw his hands up and hollered, “Oh-ho, look which lucky couple decided to join us! How polite of you two!”

Asami laughed. You blushed, and Korra replied with gusto, “Oh, pardon me! Did we miss watching you lose another round of Pai Sho?”

“Alright, lovebirds,” said Mako, equally as entertained as his little brother, “Now that that’s taken care of, get your sorry asses over here. We have a tournament to finish.”

#korra #ask #anon #korra x reader #legend of korra x reader #tlok x reader #korra x you #tlok x you #legend of korra x you #tlok #the legend of korra #tlok fanfic #tlok reader insert

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sunqyu · 3 years

Note

If you don't mind, could you explain the meaning behind each members message in be your own king? I've seen everyone talk about the greatness behind the message but as a new fan who's still learning about the boys' personality and stereotypes I don't think I fully understand everything 😅

I don’t think they’ve shared official meanings anywhere so it’s pretty much all up to our own interpretation. For me personally, I connected most of the scenes to things they’ve said in the identity films. Here are six of them because it took me longer than expected, I’ll do the other five tomorrow! (:

Let’s start with Hyunjae who said ‘Make your own air.’, here’s his identity film.

This one was a little less obvious to me but I’ve always seen Hyunjae as someone who speaks up when necessary. In the identity film he also mentions this, how he speaks up when he feels like everyone wants to but no one does. He talks about how strong his moral compass is and how he can’t stand injustice but this makes people see him as blunt. Eventhough he doesn’t want people to see him as blunt he’d rather speak up because keeping it in will be more toxic for him. I think with ‘Make your own air.’ and him being underwater in his scene he’s creating a metaphor. Air being a feeling of freedom, openness, justice, something along those lines. In a world where people are too afraid to speak up (wether it’s for themselves or for someone else) someone like Hyunjae could feel suffocated, as if he is underwater. By making his own air, creating a space by speaking up and giving other people the motivation to do so too, he lets himself breathe. Instead of letting himself drown in the injustice that others are trying to ignore, he creates air.

Next up is Juyeon, who said ‘Make your own character.’, here’s his identity film.

So Juyeon has a lot of different sides to his personality and to the way he comes across. He’s one of the more quiet or shy members which leads to a certain reputation. He went viral a few times which enforced this “first impression”-reputation even more among the general public but also among the fans. He used to be seen as a very pure and nice person. In the identity film he explains how this isn’t always true and to him the boundaries of being a good person are blurry. It was difficult for him to always be seen as just that nice guy. With more recent comebacks (Reveal, The Stealer, Breaking Dawn) we’ve seen a huuuge change in the way he comes across and he really got the opportunity to break out of that reputation. He also mentions that he wants to keep showing new charms. To me this means he enjoys figuring out who he is and playing with ways to influence his reputation. He has the power to create his own character, not fitting into one specific box or be a certain type and stick with that, but always changing and evolving.

My everything Changmin said ‘Make your own stage.’, here’s his identity film.

I could talk about this one for AGES but I’ll try to zoom in on a few points. Aside from Changmin being a born performer and how clearly we can see his biggest passion is being on stage, I think there’s more behind his message than that. He is one of the biggest perfectionists in the industry and is the strictest with himself. He also struggles with depression and in his identity film he talks about how honesty isn’t always the best move and how he rarely talks about his feelings. To me that sounds like he has a lot on his mind but chooses not to be honest about it in order to keep his relationships happy and to not make people worry. I speak from personal experience here but sometimes telling other people what you’re dealing with can only make the problem feel bigger. Sometimes it’s nice to not tell anyone so hanging out with them is a distraction from what’s bothering you. Like he says in the film, when someone shares their struggles you’ll only feel down together. He also talks about how he always tries to give positive energy to others even when he isn’t happy himself. (I could keep going but I’ll get to the point now). By making his own stage I think he means making a life and a side of himself that focusses on the good things. When he’s not on stage he’s down and struggling but instead of taking that with him into the rest of his life he created this stage. This stage is his escape from the negative thoughts, the stage has his friends who he has fun with, it has the music he loves and het gets to move around and indulge himself in his passions. The actual stage is where he is happiest and I feel like he created another layer of stage where he is kind of inbetween the way he is when he is dancing and the way he is when he’s caught up in negative thoughts. This metaphorical stage gives him the opportunity to enjoy life without the worries ruining the happy moments.

Next up is our Haknyeon, he said ‘Make your own romance.’, here’s his identity film.

The thing I love and admire most about Haknyeon is his confidence. This is something I noticed about him back when I saw him on Produce 101 and something that’s still very clear now. In the identity film he talks about how he has a hard time reading the room and considering everyone who’s there before speaking. This leads to miscommunications or annoyances that weren’t necessary. It must be so frustrating to him, trying his best but others misunderstanding him and taking his honesty the wrong way. Maybe he feels dilemma’s about being himself or giving that up in favor of the group. With ‘Make your own romance.’ my first idea was that he meant self-love. While others don’t always understand him, he has himself and he knows his worth. Even when others disagree or don’t see it, he knows that he’s a warmhearted and loving person. He’s proud of who he is and wants to show us that just because other don’t see it or disagree, doesn’t mean your romance and idealism aren’t there.

I loved Kevin’s part, he said ‘Make your own fantasy.’, here’s his identity film.

I could talk for HOURS about Kevin’s identity film. The first time I watched it I cried because of how much I related and how much I’ve struggled with the same things. How I see it, fantasy has two meanings here. First up the whole Peter Pan theme is a clear reference to Kevin wanting to always be a kid at heart no matter how old he gets. This also relates to the fantasy as in having a wide imagination to build that fantasy on. The second meaning I think is about the creating of the fantasy. He’s a social chameleon so he acts different based on the people he’s with to the point where he sometimes loses track of who he really is. To me (as someone who has a similar problem) making your own fantasy stands for taking control over your life and your image of yourself. It’s not about finding who you are but about creating who you are. Kevin has a very clear image of who and where he wants to be but struggles with questioning himself and pretty much everything. Make your own fantasy is a statement that focusses on taking back the reigns and making your own fantasy instead of it staying a fantasy.

Moving on to Sunwoo who said ‘Make your own vibe.’, here’s his identity film.

Another one which, to me, seems to encapsulate a lot of different meanings. Sunwoo is one of the moodmakers in the group and tends to stand out pretty quickly to newer fans. His personality is something I personally haven’t seen often in kpop. He’s a mix between cute and playful while also being mature and intriguing, so his vibes are pretty unique. In the identity film he mentions how much he compares himself to others and how he has a hard time accepting that he’s not where he expected to be. He doesn’t give any names but I think it’s safe to say he means other idolgroups with bigger fanbases or different concepts. With ‘Make your own vibe.’ I feel like he’s focusing less on the comparison with others and more about what makes him unique and how he can use it to his advantage. Instead of running after others he makes his own path for people to follow. I’ve noticed how he seems to feel more and more comfortable being himself on camera. He seems happier and more at ease, like he doesn’t feel pressured to keep up that tough rapper persona anymore. Now that unique vibe really shines through and I hope ‘Make your own vibe.’ means that he’s aware of how special he is and how much potential he has to work with.

#more rambles #the boyz #tbz #be your own king #kingdom #sunwoo #kevin #haknyeon #changmin #juyeon #hyunjae #anon #mssg

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moonlightatnoon · 3 years

Text

J2 VegasCon 2016

At VegasCon 2016 a fan commented that in an industry that flourishes on gossip and scandal pasted on magazine covers, J2 manages to uphold a happy family life and good relationships with their wives. The fan then asked how, despite their long schedules, do J2 manage to keep these relationships good.

Jared’s answer to the fan’s question was that they manage it by seeing their family regularly (every two weeks).

However, it is Jensen’s answer I would like to focus on. He said that:

“…You have to remember that Jared and I started eleven years ago and got shipped up to Canada to shoot this show that has lasted this long. So, he and I have really been out of that scene… And because of the success that the show has had on the level that it’s had it has kind of kept us like just off the radar of a lot of major news people… I remember reading an article about Matt Damon maybe a year or two ago, and he said: every year the press show up and they follow me walking my kid to school and back. And it’s the same thing. It’s like, yup, still boring. And if you don’t give people anything to report then they are gonna kinda leave you alone. And I think Jared and I, um, you know, we’re not scandalous people. And we’re not trying to destroy our lives, or the lives of others, or do things that that get those tabloids. We kinda find comfort in being boring… I think it’s awesome because it allows us to have a real relationship with our wives, and our children, and our family, and our friends, and you guys, and it’s real. We don’t have to pretend to be some persona in the public eye and keep that up. We can just be ourselves, and I think that’s really important in his and I’s relationship between each other, with our crew, with our family, with our friends. And I think the fact that he and I keep each other accountable in that regard has helped all of those relationships flourish.”

So VegasCon 2016 is probably most well-known by tinhats for its soulmates question. This above interaction directly follows that very iconic J2 moment. And I think this is a J2 answer we’ve been overlooking. There is so much you can unpack from Jensen’s answer.

As a tinhat I struggled with the knowledge that J2 might never come out to the public. But Jensen’s answer here helped me to make peace with it. I know the fan’s question has nothing to do with bearding, but I believe that it is a good explanation of why the guys keep a lid on their relationship. The points Jensen makes are kind of obvious, and it’s also the stuff we often discuss within the tinhat community. But hearing it from Jensen made it a lot more real. And, in a way, easier to accept. When J2 believe the time is right, they will come out. But it is going to be their decision.

It also seems as if J2 regarded Supernatural as a safe space. Which probably just added to the grief they must have experienced when they had to say goodbye to the show.

“And I think Jared and I, um, you know, we’re not scandalous people. And we’re not trying to destroy our lives, or the lives of others, or do things that that get those tabloids. We kinda find comfort in being boring… And I think it’s awesome because it allows us to have a real relationship…”

I want to quote this part because it is such a powerful statement. Also, Jensen’s meaning kind of parallels the following:

I know I would rather be

Together alone

In a big top circle and a world we can call our own

It’s all our own

(All Our Own, Radio Company)

In a world we can call our own

We’ll find shelter, darling

Where I’ll always promise to

Never let it be

(All Our Own, Radio Company)

All they want is forever, and

All they need is for

Their time together

To be free

(City Grown Willow, Radio Company)

Because we can’t become

Victim of a sum

Cradle our desires

To keep from drowning

(Drowning, Radio Company)

Obviously, the lyrics are up for interpretation, which gives them a multitude of possible meanings. I just felt that they kind of fit the bill.

There is also a bit of irony in Jensen’s words: “We don’t have to pretend to be some persona in the public eye and keep that up. We can just be ourselves…” Bearding, especially to the extent of these two, forces J2 to take up personas. Each of them has to play the part of the loving husband. VegasCon was packed with questions about their wives and family. Most Cons are. Which proves that this is a narrative they will need to keep up. And as long as the narrative stands, they will always be required to do a measure of pretending.

And lastly: “And I think the fact that he and I keep each other accountable in that regard has helped all of those relationships flourish.” Even here Jensen makes it clear how big of an influence he and Jared has on each other’s lives. They are each other’s rock. It is also interesting that although the question is centered on their wives and families Jensen has a tendency to refer to himself and Jared as a unit: ‘Jared and I’ ‘he and I’ ‘us’ ‘we’ ‘our’. It kind of makes it feel like it’s J2 against the world. It’s not about them and their wives. It’s about how their relationship with each other strengthens them and allows them to have better relationships with others.

#j2 #j2 tinhat #bearding #vegascon #wives #radio company #j2 and coming out #fame and the industry #j2 making me both happy and sad #vegascon 2016

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anerdinallherglory · 3 years

Text

Approaching Sun (29)

Author’s Note: Happy Halloween! Sorry this is so late everyone. I am currently writing my thesis for graduate college (the very reason why this chapter is not longer) and it has been sucking up ALL of my time in combination with Covid-19 face-to-face teaching and virtual teaching. In short, my life has been a walking list of “to-do’s” which causes me to neglect my writing. This chapter is dedicated to zeidika (hope you are reading this) who reviewed my story back in July. I occasionally think about your message and it keeps me going through stressful times. I hope your upcoming graduation is a memorable moment and that your son is doing well. You inspire me too! Congrats on the outstanding GPA! I am hoping to follow you soon with graduation!

Please let me know what you guys think. More action-packed chapters coming your way soon (hopefully).

P.S. While you are waiting on more chapters of A.S., go check out my new mystery/horror fiction story, “Beneath the Harlow Grove” by @anerdinallherglory on Wattpad.

Pairing: SasuSaku

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Chapter 29: A Generation of Weaklings

Sasuke blasted through a few too many red-dirt mountains in Kaguya’s core dimension. With every blast, he felt more like himself. Something chemical happened in his brain when he tunneled raw chakra through his veins; it helped him adopt the right mindset. Sasuke found that the quickest way to erase his thoughts was to surrender them to his shinobi persona who had to be focused. That chakra felt like a jolt to his nervous system, reminding him of himself and his shinobi goal.

Of course, now that he was less distracted, he found himself too depleted of chakra to do anything more than take a breather. Now that he was in the core dimension, Sasuke would have to adjust his plans. Previously, the Uchiha had been trying to cross into the desert dimension without going through the middle dimension. Now that he had jumped ship and escaped here by instinct, he was going to have to do this whole thing in reverse. Logically, his next step would have to be crossing into the desert dimension and then overpassing this core dimension directly to Kunagakure. All this would require a lot of chakra.

Just to speed up the process, Sasuke momentarily considered swallowing one of the chakra pills that he had swiped before his cold exit hours before into this dimension. It might be a good idea for experimentation purposes, but Sasuke knew enough about shortcuts to comprehend that chakra pills would do more harm than good, which is why they were typically reserved. It was best, the Uchiha decided strategically, to take the pill when he was at his chakra max, so he could ultimately top it off and have just the right amount to make the jump.

And besides, Sasuke just didn’t have enough time or chakra to experiment recklessly. He would get one shot to try it before he had to wait a significant amount of time for his chakra to replenish enough to try it again if he failed. Not to mention in what ways he would have to recover from whatever side effects he would suffer through from abusing the chakra pills.

Sasuke pinched his nose in concentration and tried his best to expel Sakura from his mind while he waited. And it worked just enough, for the most part…consciously—until he fell asleep that night and dreamt of her, his suppressed thoughts confronting him in his subconscious. He had developed a habit of dreaming about Sakura lately, so this wasn’t something new to him. His dreams of her usually involved her imminent death; an enemy threatening her life in a way that Sasuke was too late to prevent. This was the case. Usually. But something about that kiss earlier had unnerved Sasuke, transforming his instinctual focus on her from one of concern to one of…how would he describe it? Desire? Hope? Longing? None of those words seemed acceptable to the Uchiha; he hated to have to admit to any of those feelings even when dreaming.

In this dream, he was back in that damn medicine preparation room, glaring into Sakura’s green eyes after that unexpected kiss. But this time, instead of sensibly leaving, the Uchiha gave in to her desperate pleadings, taking her chin between his fingertips and bringing her mouth back to his. In this dream, Sasuke kissed her. Was kissing her frenziedly, hand suddenly twisting in the pink fuzz at the nape of her hot, flushed neck. Was, until a hand clamped firmly on his shoulder, jerking him abruptly back away from her. When he turned, Sasuke was face-to-face with himself. His conscious self vs. the subconscious.

When Sasuke woke, he laughed derisively as he realized he would always be the one to get in his own way in both reality and fiction.

“Good,” he said aloud to the airless dimension, suddenly frustrated for fantasizing about the opposite scenario of the one he had chosen. He hoped Kaguya, or others like her, somehow were able to hear him through this connection of dimensions. They would see just how determined he was to rid the world of them; how dedicated he was to protect those he loved. So much so, that he would sacrifice and surrender every aspect of his life to this goal.

Sasuke stood then, forming the hand sign to split the dimension in the space before him until raging sand materialized before his eyes. He decided he would just not sleep; not unless he was so tired that he wouldn’t even have enough left in him to dream.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sakura was a quick learner. The medical ninja gave herself that credit at least as she imitated the slow intake and exhale of breath that professed sleep. This certainly wasn’t her first kidnapping. Half a year ago, Kido had done just exactly that and as soon as his posse realized she was awake, the show had begun. Sakura’s poison-trained system had finally started to break down whatever sleep-induced toxin Mako had spiked her drink with. With no conception of how long she had been unconscious, Sakura had become cognizant and immediately began to mimic an undisturbed state. This time, she was set on listening. This time, she would assess and strategically plan.

She had been waiting to hear the answer as to “why” she found herself in this particular situation as she was dragged, then hoisted over someone’s shoulder. For a blurry second, Sakura was taken back to her drunken episode several weeks ago when Sasuke carried her home after the medic had decided to deplete Tsunade’s alcohol stash. The only similarity between this state of stupor and that one was the pounding headache that made Sakura want to vomit. That was when memory caught up with her and she began to “act.”

She was exchanged from one shoulder to the next and Sakura realized suddenly that she had been carried by Mako up until this point--that bastard--and was being surrendered to someone else. She didn’t know the voice.

“Great job,” a guttural accent commended Mako for his successful abduction. Sakura planned on commending him herself once she regained the upper hand.

“Just shut up and walk,” came Mako’s voice, in a tone that sent shivers down Sakura’s spine. She had never heard him speak like that. How could she have been played by him this whole time?

Sakura began to second-guess her decision to pretend the longer that they walked. In cases of abduction, it was well known that a person’s chances of survival drastically dropped if the kidnapper succeeded in moving them to a second location. But Sakura thought of Isao, her patients, her coworkers, and even Sasuke and resolved herself. It was better for them if she could allow these maniacs to believe that they had got her. What they didn’t know, was that their mistake would be getting Sakura just far enough away from civilians where she could cause some real damage. She had handled Kido; she could take care of these two as well. Neither of them could have anticipated her other skillset; Mako didn’t know her well enough.

When they had dropped her not so gracefully onto her back an hour later, Sakura bit the inside of her cheek to keep from making a pained groan or facial expression to give away her performance. Other voices chimed in then, and Sakura realized her adversaries had just doubled.

“About damn time,” someone drawled as she was dropped. “You couldn’t have taken care of this sooner?”

There was some shuffling as her capturers arranged themselves in what sounded like a cramped space.

Mako announced: “She’s surprisingly resistant. Not to mention Uchiha’s been around just until recently.”

That particular statement wounded Sakura a little more than the fall she just sustained. Of course, this was all about Sasuke. She should have known. Kido had kidnapped her for this same reason: to lure in Sasuke, kill her in front of him so his eyes would change. Sakura was starting to get pretty annoyed with people trying to use her to get to Sasuke—as if she would ever let that happen. When would they learn that things weren’t so black and white? Mako’s previous statement the morning of her capture began to make more sense to her now: “Well, it’s obvious that he likes you. To be honest, I thought you were already a couple.” And Sakura cursed her mouth for confiding in him because now she identified his interest as a predatory investigation.

“Or maybe you just weren’t trying hard enough because you liked her,” came a response from a voice Sakura seemed to recognize for some reason. It was different from the rest—distinctively female. Sakura mentally raised an eyebrow at that fact.

“Believe me, that’s not the case” came Mako’s defense. “Ashuwa just didn’t do the trick on a medical specialist as we had hoped.”

And then Sakura was cursing. Cursing a stream of silent words that wouldn’t do her any good to express verbally now that she was getting information. The bastard had even convinced her that Sasuke should take it. She thanked the universe for Sasuke’s non-allergic reaction to it.

“What ended up working?” came the female voice again, expressing honest curiosity.

“Tea and kindness,” Mako stated unemotionally, eager to move past the topic. “Now let’s get on with this.”

“Of course,” said the female again, tossing what sounded like clanging metal onto the floor at his feet. “You have been given a position among us as promised for your service. Welcome.”

Sakura couldn’t resist. She snuck a peek through the corner of her eyelashes at them then and did not like what she saw. She was in a small gathering room with a domed ceiling, one of the many adobe homes on the outskirts of the Sand Village. She had also miscounted by 1. There were four of them, an extra silent companion seated & leaning against the wall farthest from her, seemingly uninterested. In the same second, Sakura also noted that Mako had bent down to retrieve something she recognized, a headband with a foreign symbol etched onto it—the same symbol she had seen on the headbands of their assailants back at the Tanigakure lodge. She made the connection: these were the same ninja who had followed Sakura and ambushed her and Sasuke in the night. The ninja she had recounted to Gaara, who was supposedly on their trail. How did they manage to get past him?

Just as Sakura thought this, an unexpected thud came from the ceiling accompanied by the crumbling sound of sand. Quiet consumed them as no one moved. Sakura observed quietly as all ninja revealed their weapons in silence as if they were snakes quietly coiling back to strike.

The man in the corner nodded toward the door, and the ninja closest to Sakura’s head disbanded from the group and disappeared within a second. Once outside, the same ninja began swearing loudly at some surprise. Everyone in the room relaxed as a child’s vocal squirming reached their years. The shuffling continued as this child was being brought inside.

“Damn kid must have followed us!” the returning ninja said in annoyance. “Got some bite to him.”

If Sakura hadn’t been laying down already, she would have collapsed in shock and fear at the memorable voice of the child they had just apprehended and threw down next to her. “Get away from me!” Isao shouted, the boy swinging a kunai out in front of him. They laughed wickedly at the boy’s ferocity.

Okay, show’s over.

Protective instincts kicked in swiftly as Sakura successfully reached forward and stole the kunai away from the child in less than a blinking second. There were unanimous intakes of breath throughout the room as Sakura managed to get Isao behind her and compress the blade threateningly against the esophagus of the man who had touched the both of them—it all happened within a microsecond. Sakura’s sudden revival activated the group’s defense and they were upon her, but she let out a snarl, drawing blood against the man’s throat.

They immediately stopped their advance when the man she had ensnared began to laugh, throat nicking against the knife as he did so. “Do it already,” he breathed through his laugh. “My death will be a part of this effort. It will only help us in our cause.”

Sakura was certainly tempted by that. The way he had roughly handled Isao seconds before with his colossal insensitive hands was like a fresh and bloody burn on her skin, painful and needing the immediate relief of this man’s execution. But something in his words froze her hand. A cause?

“Glad you are finally awake,” came Mako’s distinct tone, a vicious friendliness warming the words again.

“Shut up you liar,” Sakura spat viciously.

“If you let him go, we’ll tell you why we are going to kill you,” came the female’s voice, and Sakura flashed her angry green eyes over in the woman’s direction. Her face and hair were covered, and Sakura acknowledged the same black shemagh that had concealed her attackers in Tanigakure.

Fat chance, she thought. Sakura immediately assessed her chakra levels and was aggravated by how slow chakra was reacting to her body’s summoning of it. Mako was a fellow medic, and Sakura deduced that whatever he had given her had strategically messed with her system and chakra connection. Sakura mutely criticized herself for trusting Mako. How many times would she be tricked in her lifetime? Probably many more, but she would learn from them all. Oh well, she thought. She had had worse odds before. Her only additional complication was Isao because now she was responsible for herself and the 11-year-old boy who had pursued after her. Had he somehow witnessed Mako’s abduction of her?

It was at this moment that the woman at the front of the room began to take off her mask, and Sakura almost dropped the knife altogether. As the black wrap was loosened and it slumped around the woman’s neck, Sakura immediately recognized the face of Hisa, the female medic ninja who had been her assistant throughout Sakura’s entire stay in Kunagakure. Even Isao behind her, gasped when he saw the woman who had helped take care of him.

Sakura’s moment of surprise was all it took for the ninja she stood behind to reach his hand lightning-quick between his own throat and the kunai. He grabbed on to Sakura’s wielded wrist with his left hand and flung her forward over his shoulder. She mentally cursed as she went flying toward the forefront of the room, landing painfully into the opposite wall. She practically went through it, and the side of the adobe house collapsed around her. As she fell, Sakura realized that the brute force used against her revealed their intention to truly kill her. They weren’t planning on preserving her, let alone sparing her life.

Sakura had been launched farther than she initially realized because when she managed to rise from the dust and sand, she winced at the other consequences of her distraction that was now beyond reach. One by one, the villains stepped through the new door that Sakura had made, carrying Isao with them. In the next second, Isao was tossed to the sand, screaming threats and clutching at the thug man’s foot that suddenly pinned down his chest. When the beast applied pressure to the child’s sternum, Isao began to moan in pain.

The sight enraged her, and she broke her silence. “You’re wrong if you think this plan of yours will work!” she screamed at them. “I am nothing to Sasuke. Nothing to anyone, do you hear me?!”

All but the quiet man snickered in response to her declarations, but she continued, seething through her teeth.

“He will not come to save me! You will not get what you want by using me! Let the child go!”

“This isn’t about Sasuke,” replied the wraith-like man who came last through the shattered side of the building’s exterior wall. For the first time since her awakening, the still man walked to the head of the party and addressed her. “Neither is it about the Hokage, or even the Jinchurki. This is about you.”

The night suddenly seemed starless, dark, and void of all sound save the squealing wind. As the stranger spoke this truth, three of the other members flanked his sides before fanning out beside him like Tamari’s fan, creating a close-knit semi-circle. The phantom-like man stood casually in the middle, his face cloaked in the combined darkness of night and the face wrapping he wore. As Sakura looked closer, even this man’s eyes, the only thing that could be seen between the black fabric, seemed like depthless holes of nothing. This man reminded Sakura of a walking desert mirage, some sort of shadow demon hiding in human clothing.

Sakura gritted her teeth as her body instinctively begged her to flee. Isao’s need for her overpowered that. She would die before abandoning him.

“Me?” Sakura asked instead, revealing her honest surprise. “What do you want with me?” It was a trick, the kunoichi told herself. What could they possibly have to gain from killing her when much more powerful figures literally walked side by side with Sakura? There was nothing to gain besides Sasuke’s, Naruto’s, or Kakashi’s ultimate death, defeat, or capture.

“Your efforts to fix the ‘mentally ill’ goes against the philosophy of our newly founded group,” came Hisa’s poison-dripped answer. Sakura noted that they all took a step toward her in synchrony, tightening in on her a little closer. This practiced pack was testing her and Sakura took a step back to match their own. She was smart enough not to let them surround her like the meal they believed her to be. Sakura felt suddenly empathetic for those mother animals who felt torn between their captured young and their own safety. Let them believe that she was this helpless observer who reeked with fear.

“And what philosophy is that?” She asked, imitating the breaks of a trembling in her throat. She practically seeped the question with distress. It must have had the effect Sakura wanted, for her enemies smiled in response and took another step toward her.

With an insanity that Sakura had not heard in his statements before, Mako declared emphatically, “Progression!”

Sakura couldn’t wait to punch his teeth so far down his throat that Mako’s vocal cords and epiglottis would permanently suffer damage.

Sakura stammered again, portraying the weakness they wished to see. “Pro--progression?” Another step back. Just a little more.

“Whether or not it is your intention, you will create a shinobi generation of weaklings,” stated the leader again. He essentially breathed more darkness, because the night around her suddenly grew thicker. Was she imagining it, or could this be some sort of jutsu?

“How do you figure that?” she questioned, adding a nervous laugh to her annoyed tinged inquiry. Sakura’s exasperation with their reasoning was starting to make her focus waver.

As she asked, Sakura concentrated on her chakra. She was calling it, calling it, calling it, but it did not spring forth. She would have compared the sensation to drawing blood from a syringe, except her chakra was like liquified cement and the syringe was the size of a pen. If she chose to use it, the Strength of a Hundred Seals just might flood her chakra paths and burst through whatever plug the medicine had caused, or it could potentially well up like water in a dam and she wouldn’t have any access to it. Medically, that might be a concern. And it had only been a few weeks since she had last used her reserves to assist Sasuke crossing dimensions, so would the risk be worth the additional amount behind her forehead?

In an eerie declaration, the masked leader stepped toward her again and said, “If you go around curing the next generation of their anger and pain, brainwashing them with this vision of peace, there will be no more progression.”

“What the hell does that mean?” she asked, all pretense gone now. The confidence in her tone made them stop their encroachment. For a second, Sakura didn’t look so weak to them. They glanced at the leader, the shadow-man, and then again at Mako because Mako knew her best out of the group; he had also drugged her.

“The medicine should still be working. We must hurry though. It won’t last all night.” Listening to this, Sakura inhaled and exhaled, willing the small drip of chakra to pool more heavily in her palm. She would only have one shot before she could collect enough chakra for another one. Sakura took another step back. And another, drawing them away from Isao and his captor. Just a little more. Keep them talking.

“There is peace in the world now,” Sakura baited. “There’s no need for children to suffer through trauma alone anymore.”

The leader did not hesitate a second before responding with the practiced mission justification of their group: “Without anger, hatred, and pain, there is no incentive for war between villages. And without war, there is no need for young shinobi. You will create a generation of weaklings who cannot defend our borders. The world of Shinobi as we know it will disappear.”

Sick freaks, Sakura thought. She was their target because she worked with children? They were afraid that children would be weaker without pain? “The world would be a better place,” she commented, “if there weren’t people like you in it.” Sakura didn’t care to listen to this nonsense anymore. She hated to kill them, but they weren’t giving her much of a choice.

At exactly this moment, Isao had somehow reached into his pocket for another kunai, stabbing it into the foot that held him down. Apparently, the ninja had been distracted by the rest of the pack’s slow pursuit of Sakura and the conversation. Isao left his mark, slicing it clean across the top. The ninja screamed which turned the heads of all those before her. Isao bolted up before anyone had the chance to stop him.

On his feet now, he charged the group and Sakura watched in panic as the ninja he had left behind now followed, brandishing a sword of his own.

“Kill that brat!” came Hisa’s order.

And then Sakura was in the air, her fury propelling her forward and then down on top of them.

Mako let out a cry of alarm, the first to notice her above them. The kunoichi had just enough for one hit, and Sakura prayed the sand wouldn’t buffer too much of it. She fisted the meager amount of chakra between both of her palms, fingers interlocked to make a combined fist. She brought them down as hard as she could at their feet, making it through several feet of sand before she connected it with the ground. Sakura was not able to see the damage done, because not only did sand fill the air, but all light blinked out and a shroud of complete blackness consumed her.

#approachingsun #approaching sun #sasusaku #sasusakufanfiction #ssfanfiction #naruto fanfiction #prosasusaku #Sakura Haruno #sakura hiden #Sasuke Uchiha #sasukeshinden #sasuke and sakura #sakura uchiha

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honey-hippie-harper · 3 years

Text

Warm

MY. SON. LOOK AT MY SOOOOOOON AFSGHJAFGSHJAFSGHJKA

WELL, MY DAUGHTER AFGSHSFGSHJ

@nodrianbcyes HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEET DAUGHTER OF MINE AFGSHJASFGSHJK

Geez. You’re a year older :’)))) <3. I hope that, despite the world it’s still going to shit, you have a nice birthday surrounded by your loved ones :’) <3 <3 <3 Thanks for being such a great friend and for having such a great sense of humor acvsbnayjk yo mean a lot, and I hope you know that :’) I wish you the best of birthdays, and remember to eat lots of cake (AND SEND PICTURES OF THE CAKE AHSFSGHJA).

Here’s a little Ruby thing <3

TW: BLOOD

Warm

Warm.

The sensation of blood could be described as warm.

For Ruby, the bigger the wound was, the warmer the blood, until it was boiling hot. It flowed out of you and made you feel like all your limbs were on fire, leaving a trace characterized by the strange, yet distinguishable smell of steel.

The saddest part of it all, was that it was a part of her.

It had become a part of her.

Lucky were the ones who had been born with it.

The others…others like her, had to watch it happen, and then live with it.

It’s not that she wasn’t proud of being a prodigy, or a Renegade, for that matter. The Renegades, especially Blacklight, whose powers he hadn’t been born with, made special emphasis on how important it was to embrace one’s prodigy persona. Perhaps a couple of counseling sessions for prodigies with acquired powers instead of birth powers before allowing them to become a Renegade would’ve been useful, but the majority of them seemed to be doing just fine.

Being a Renegade gave you a sense of importance, which, Ruby sometimes supposed, was similar to the one the Anarchists must’ve felt when Ace Anarchy appeared and decided he would be the one to change everything.

There was a huge difference between the Renegades and the Anarchists, though, for the Renegades, although not perfect, hadn’t become as corrupted as the Anarchists, and they had also managed to overcome the economic crisis they had left behind.

The Renegades often made you feel secure in your own skin, no matter where your powers had come from, and one of their main objective was creating a society where prodigies and non-prodigies could coexist, without putting the other down to defend their own cause.

Despite their flaws, Ruby considered them to be a great organization, and she was proud of being a Renegade.

And, more than that, she was also glad she had managed to get something so fulfilling, exciting and important out something that had been so horrible and gruesome.

“Sometimes you can find light in the darkest things.” Blacklight used to say.

She knew it was only because he like to involve the concept of dark and light in every single one of his speeches, but that specific phrase had been stuck in her head for the longest time, and it refused to go away.

She had found light in the darkest thing that had ever happened to her.

But that didn’t mean she had forgotten the darkness, and how it came in the shape of knives, with the taste of metal and the boiling sensation of blood covering her entire body like a huge blanket, only to be replaced with the itchiness of something solid growing from the fresh wounds.

The memories were rarely there during the daytime, because she had better things to think about.

However, the nighttime was a different story, because in the night everything was more silent and Ruby was calm. Inert. And overall vulnerable, which she wasn’t the biggest fan of.

There were better days than others, and she rarely ever knew she was having a bad day until she saw scary faces in her dreams, holding sharp things and screaming the most soulless words she had ever had the pleasure to hear at her, a tiny dot staring at them from the floor.

It always started with the men, and it usually ended with the rubies. When she was lucky, it ended with the sensation of swallowing a pill, but a hundred times more unpleasant.

That day, she happened to be lucky.

“Hey…hey…” There was a hand shaking her whole body, taking her by the shoulder. “…Ruby?”

Her body bounced upwards upon the falling feeling people sometimes got in their sleep. There was a strong smell of metal and steel, and it broke through her nostrils, invading her entire system. She was used to the smell, but it still made her very nauseous after waking up from a nightmare.

A nightmare. Yes.

That’s all it had been.

A nightmare.

Trying to steady her breath and focus her vision, she found Nova’s eyes staring back at her.

That night, they were standing guard in the old theatre, for no specific reason other than it was going through some renovations. For some time now, it had been used to present low-budgeted musicals or plays, but, legend had it, after the job was done, it would be turned into a party salon, because, after all, it had been used as a party salon during the Age of Anarchy anyway.

They weren’t the only patrol there, either, because it was a big building and they were in charge to prevent or stop break-ins. All of them, however, were scattered through the floors. The floors where they would spend the night were supposed be sorted randomly, but Adrian was given the chance to choose. Hence, they were now in the third floor, in a room that had once been used as a dressing room.

The junk food’s remains were all around them, and, with the nightlight they had brought with them, Ruby could see the rest of the team, very comfortable in their sleeping bags.

Oscar was the closest to her, lying on his side, facing the opposite direction Ruby was. His head was resting on his arm, and his cane was next to him, close to his backpack.

Danna was drooling on Adrian. They both were out of their sleeping bags, and he was laying on his stomach, while she was using his back as her pillow.

Nova, naturally, hadn’t brought a sleeping bag with her, because she didn’t need it, and over the few months they had been around her, something Ruby noticed (although she didn’t tell anyone because she didn’t want to be rude) was that, besides being practical, she didn’t own many things, and she always declined the invitations to go out to eat with them. At first, she didn’t pay much attention to it, because she started acting the most distant after she shot the Detonator in self-defense, but then, even after she looked way less shocked, it didn’t seem like her attitude had changed all that much. She still didn’t appear to own many things, and she always wore the same three or four shirts when she wasn’t wearing her uniform.

One could only hope that, with the paycheck they received from the Renegades’ part, her situation would get better eventually, but, as for now, Ruby highly doubted she even owned a sleeping bag. After all, a sleeping bag wasn’t exactly a top priority item for a prodigy whose power happened to be not having the physical necessity to sleep.

Snapping back into reality once again, Ruby realized she was still here.

Deep down, she was disappointed this wasn’t Oscar, and, when she realized that, she felt guilty. Hence, trying to smile, she said, in a hoarse voice:

“Hi.” Then, Ruby gulped. “…I had a bad dream.”

Nova blinked and nodded, as if agreeing with that statement.

Another thing she had noticed about Nova, was that she always seemed to be emotionless. She rarely took the time to consider whether the thing she was planning to say would offend or hurt anyone’s feelings. She just phrased her sentences in her mind, and then they came out from her mouth like word vomit. She was straight up, and sometimes she said mean or self-deprecating things in a tone so flat, dull and nonchalantly it send shivers down Ruby’s spine. She wasn’t exactly a warm person, while Ruby considered herself to be one, and that’s why, at first, it had been kind of weird to have her around.

Not that she were complaining.

Adrian always said, ever since they became a team, that it was important to have balance. You couldn’t have a team full of people who had the personality of a cinnamon roll, just like you couldn’t have a team full of people who had the personality of an icicle (that’s why everybody hated Team Frostbite so much).

He seemed to like Nova very much.

As in, like-like.

There was a huge difference in the way he liked Danna or Oscar or herself, and the way he liked Nova, which reminded her of the way in which she liked Oscar.

Maybe that’s why she found herself to be kind of disappointed when she saw Nova instead of Oscar.

“You’re bleeding.”

The first thing that popped up in her mind was “Yes, I’m always bleeding”, until she realized that Nova was way too clever to make such an obvious statement. She had to mean something else.

Once she looked around, Ruby’s attention reached her bandages, and also her sleeping bag.

She was covered in blood.

Her forever open wounds were itching as the dense, crimson liquid gushed out of them, though the hemorrhage was starting to settle down already.

Ruby had been stabbed four times. Two in her right arm, one in the chest, and one in the stomach. Ever since the incident, the wounds hadn’t stopped bleeding, so they always had to be wrapped up in bandages. Nevertheless, every now and then, a trigger appeared, and that made altered everything.

Her power was embarrassing and complicated sometimes.

Nova, from her part, didn’t seem to be judging her, nor did she seem to be disgusted by the scene right there, in front of her.

Nova wasn’t the problem.

The problem was that Ruby had been made fun of because of it before, especially when they attended camps or when, for some special circumstances, they had to spend entire nights in the Headquarters. Her team always managed to defend her, and she knew how to defend herself, but that didn’t change the fact there were some things she had had to gone through, because of something that hadn’t, nor would it ever be her fault.

It wasn’t her fault she smelled like blood (It was logical. She was always bleeding), just like it wasn’t her fault she sometimes bled more than the usual.

Nova’s presence made her feel unprotected, and Ruby shrunk, trying to hide herself beneath her sleeping bag, but in the end that only made her feel more ashamed, because the sleeping bag was bloody as well.

She had bled through all of her bandages, through her clothes, and the blood had then reached the fabric of the sleeping bag.

Ruby looked like a crime scene, and for once she noticed there was something different in Nova’s eyes.

They were not as cold.

A little sympathetic, even.

“Do you have any extra bandages with you?”

It then occurred to Ruby that, perhaps, Nova hadn’t come here to laugh, or make comments that came off as lowkey out of place. She had heard all sorts of comments in regards to the issue. She had been asked if she was having an extra heavy period, or if bleeding like this was the equivalent of peeing herself in the middle of the night. Nova wasn’t saying any of those things.

She pretty much was just…there.

Gulping, Ruby lifted her hand up a little, pointing at her backpack, which was next to Adrian’s.

Trying to make as little sound as possible, Nova crawled and reached for it, hanging it from her shoulders, before getting on her feet and offering a hand to Ruby, in order to help her do the same.

Before doing anything, Ruby wrapped herself in her extra blanket, and she didn’t even had to ask where they were going, because she already knew.

The restroom didn’t have showers, but at least it looked relatively clean.

Once they were inside, Nova held the backpack towards her, and Ruby opened it, only to be greeted by her extra change of clothes, which she would have to wear, and her kit.

Normally, she would’ve removed the bandages and clean them herself, but they were too sticky, and she didn’t even know where to start.

When she noticed that, for some reason, Nova proceeded to try to help. Paying little attention to the fact her fingers were a little red by the end, she removed the bandage from her arm, and then helped her clean it with a wet cloth, no signs of disgust to the sight of the open, swollen, bleeding wound. She passed the cloth through it a couple of times, and then wrapped some new bandages around it.

After that, she gave her some privacy to finish the job, and once she was out of the restroom, Ruby cleaned the wounds in her chest and stomach, wrapping new bandages around it.

She put on her extra change of clothes, and came out of the restroom.

-.-

When they came back to the dressing room, Ruby realized her sleeping bag still looked like a crime scene, and if there was one thing she didn’t have, that something was an extra sleeping bag.

She didn’t want to sleep on her own blood, either, so she just grimaced, and then went to sit next to Nova, who was by the window.

She asked no questions, because she never did, especially when she felt that something was none of her business.

Nova was staring at the moon, and her scarred eyebrow was arched. That, Ruby did try to ask why, but maybe, just like the way her wounds worked were none of Nova’s business, the way she was staring at the moon was none of Ruby’s business.

But they were right there, sitting next to the other, while the rest of the team slept behind them, and while the city slept beneath them.

Then, Ruby wondered why was it that she didn’t sleep.

But it occurred to her that, once again, it was none of her business.

Maybe one day, but not today.

They were not that deep.

“Where do you think prodigies come from?” Asked Nova, out of nowhere, avoiding eye contact. “The moon or the stars?”

If she wanted to be brutally honest, she hadn’t seen that coming.

Nova was more of a science person, rather than someone who believed in myths like those.

Good thing Ruby wasn’t exactly a science person herself, and she had been through her myth and legend-obsessed phase.

“Well, most people believe we come from the stars.”

“That’s true.” Nova nodded. “I believe we come from the stars, too.”

For some reason, Ruby didn’t know how to respond to that, so she just stared.

The moon was still there, along with the stars, which looked like freckles.

One time, Oscar had compared her freckles to them.

“It’s a nice concept.” Ruby shrugged. “Stars are beautiful.”

“They are. Until they explode.” Nova scoffed, ruffling her own hair, carelessly. “They are my favorite part of the night.”

“…And you spend too much time awake.”

“…Exactly.”

Then, they didn’t say anything else, but once they were quiet enough, Ruby sighed, and just like she used to do with Danna sometimes, she slowly got into a laying position, resting her head on Nova’s lap.

For a second, she felt Nova’s apparently touch starved body become tense, hard as a rock, but then she took a deep breath and tried to relax her muscles.

She didn’t pull away.

On the contrary, Nova slowly lowered her hand, and placed it on Ruby’s arm, rhythmically tapping on her skin. It wasn’t an aggressive gesture. It was rather stealthy, to the point she could barely feel it.

Some minutes after that…seconds, she dared to say, Ruby fell into a deep, deep sleep, from which she didn’t wake up until the next day.

Fortunately, this time, it was a dreamless sleep.

#renegades trilogy #marissa meyer #dawnie writes #reneweys birthday saga #ruby tucker #red assassin #nova artino #nightmare #nova mclain #insomnia #TW: BLOOD

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mclegibilist · 3 years

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Typification Enforces Anti-Inductivity in the Game of Authenticity

Epistemic Status: Broad strokes of common gameplay.

Why is being authentic "hard"? Why is it something you have to try at?

Personally, I believe that being "authentic" is fundamentally a matter of being understood. I've seen people twist themselves into knots about how if you were a true Scotsman then you would just be able to be yourself, but I can't really see how we'd have much acquaintance with such people: eventually their notions of authenticity would butt-up against some societal norm and they would be pushed out. Most of the arguments I've heard against this seem to implicitly rely on an unawakened power of unparalleled proportions that being authentic gives you. I think this confuses authenticity and self-knowledge, and most people who we encounter with good self-knowledge are pragmatic enough to (a) know how to talk to other people in their native emotional language (b) never, ever say that they're always manipulating and restructuring their messages in order to get the most significant bits across and risk seeming inauthentic.

A lot of people who struggle with finding their authentic self tend to reach for intrinsic explanations for why authenticity is a hard problem, usually along the lines of "You've become estranged from yourself while trying to please other people, so you need to rediscover who you really are." As @in-stenography has pointed out before, we should be a bit skeptical about what it is we're discovering, and if we have any method of distinguishing between discovering and inventing.

So, take on my premise for a moment or stop reading here: authenticity is mostly invented personae, meant to incept elements of one's own self-image in the minds of others.

Why is that a hard problem?

Don't worry, I won't go full Robin Hanson on you, it's obvious why this is hard! There's no easy way to enforce honest signaling for lots of attributes people want to lay claim to like "honest" or "sexually experienced", "punctual" is a bit easier and consequently feels trivial.

Yet, we do traverse social landscapes and I would argue, on average, we do so very effectively. The average person in my broad social circles can almost immediately get across a persona, that may later come into question, but which is usually supported by initial markers or surrogates for the kinds of things we actually care about.

Sometimes, though, someone manages to feel "fresh" without (looking like they're) trying too hard. They, through pure interaction, describe a character they are that doesn't make you bucket them immediately. You get to know them, and you're amazed to find that they are, at least partially, who they say they are and begin the true exploration of friendship and actually getting to know each other.

Why can't everyone do this?

The answer is in "typification", terminology that @spilledreality introduced me to, which originates from Alfred Schütz, the philosopher and social phenomenologist. I will not use this term exactly as he did; I believe it is a basic pillar of knowledge logistics that we must make our references nods, but rely only on our presented definitions. Call this "portable foundations"—I don't want to rely on experts' interpretations of other people's definitions, I want to rely on what I can explain to you in our shared context.

Typification, as I define it, is an inherent property of cognition and expressible knowledge, basically that definitions are inherently categories. The best way to understand is to take literally any statement and see why it relies on typification, so I just took a random sentence from a random CNN article:

A North Port Police spokesperson declined to comment on the report.

What is "North Port Police"? It's a kind of bureaucratic body, we assume has certain properties because of the other similar bodies we are familiar with. We can go look it up, and we'll understand it as an entity of certain overlapping types: an employer, an arm of the executive branch, etc.

What does it mean to "comment on"—we can understand that there is some kind of message indicated by this action, but it goes much deeper. When people "comment" on things they generally have something to say about its fitness, or about some salient property that's meaningful to a the present crowd. And because the subject is a government body, that crowd is assumed to be the public.

All of this information is transferred by our understanding of "types of things"—types of entities, types of actions, types of properties. Maybe this seems obvious, but consider the opposite: what if we had some basic properties and we could mix them in any proportion like a color palette? Certainly we think some parts of the universe are like this, e.g. physical color. Yet we tend to refer to colors by types, e.g., red, yellow, mauve, maroon, etc. We tend to understand things through types, and language's focus on reusable categories is both a cause and a byproduct of this fact.

When person A discovers a way to present themselves authentically, every person who sees a little bit of themselves in the expression A managed to thread through the gravitational fields of the present-at-hand types will immediately engage in the most natural human process: memetic analysis for mimetic execution. By picking apart A's presentation of themselves, different people will carve out different collections of behavior and aspects of A's self-presentation and retool them to explain themselves. This is the origin of memes.

When B, C, D, and all the way to Z do this, a wave will ripple through the local social ecosystem that causes new types to arrive, likely centering around the most easy-to-understand elements of A's new style which many of the new behavioral memes will have in common. When that happens, A's presentation will either seem less fresh, if these spin-offs capture much of A's implicit message...or will seem fresh in a ghostly and subtle way because they failed to capture it.

Eitherway, the interplay, driven by human mimesis and memetic networks, will eventually cause A's original expression lines to go stale. It doesn't go stale because it's wrong, it might be that no one ever successfully replicates A's style. But it will still go stale because the message gets distorted by the change in the communication protocol that the gravitational pull of new types causes. The expressive range may remain unchanged, but saying the same thing will require different words. And just as often, old messages become impossible to express, often due to unshakeable connotations parasitic on some original meme.

This is nothing more than anti-inductivity: authenticity is a game where (i) you reveal your strategy by playing and (ii) others can use this information for themselves, in a way that actively competes with your goals. Just because your goal was "to express yourself" doesn't mean you weren't competing with other people. Quite the opposite: your unique idea has to fight to convince people it's meaningfully unique, and the kicker is it often isn't unique as much as you want it to be, but you've still got to express positivity towards your product along the axes people understand.

Every time a new type of guy drops, someone loses their current medium for expressing themself authentically.

#anti-inductivity #authenticity #type of guy

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vickyvicarious · 3 years

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idk if this is controversial or not but, i don’t think it’s all that important to meta analyze media to death. like if it’s fun i think that’s great but analyzing all the ways a show may or may not be problematic seems pretty silly to me. i mean it’s a tv show? not activism? (this isn’t me saying you shouldn’t analyze stuff btw if that’s what you enjoy, more in response to some of your statements saying that it’s important/a responsibility)

(to be fair though i’m just kinda upset that people seem to spend so much more time talking about problematic tv content than about the real life issues happening)

(also not saying you need to talk about irl issues on your fandom blog, just that grouping them under the same umbrella makes it seem like they’re equally important when stuff in media isn’t as big a deal as the stuff happening irl you know?)

I agree with you to an extent, but not completely. When I was saying it's important or a responsibility, I didn't mean quite for everyone to meta in depth or have these big long discussions I've been having lately. It's totally fine to just want to enjoy media without getting into what's problematic about it, and it's not as important as any real life events. I mean, I personally don't really like to talk politics and real world stuff on this blog just because that generally is a stressor for me, and I come here to destress. I actually don't even get into critical meta myself very often either, for similar reasons at times. So I'm definitely not throwing any stones here if individual people don't enjoy metaing or dissecting the media they consume. Having a break from that kind of stuff is important.

(And like. If you only ever worry about problematic stuff on TV and never ever real world stuff, then that's not the best priorities obviously. But people online always have personas and compartmentalize. I mean, Vicky isn't my real name. It's my fandom name and I answer to it as well as my real name and have for years, but I have a real-world life that's mostly separate from my fandom life, and I personally like to keep it that way. So I always assume that even if I only see people online talking about media, it doesn't mean they don't care about RL concerns. This may just be where they take a break from that.)

At the same time as all that is true, I do think it is important to recognize themes in media that we're exposed to. Critical thinking is a skill that has to be actively taught (which it isn't as well lately, it seems, which I know I ranted about like last year or something on this blog) and it's one that can be applied all over the place. For example: double-checking sources on news articles; noticing the ways an ad tries to manipulate your perspective; spotting logical fallacies in arguments; noticing propaganda in media. There's no such thing as a person totally immune to propaganda or manipulation, and a lot of corporations actively try to use stuff like color theory and certain phrases etc. to manipulate consumers into choosing their product or associating it with a certain thing. Food, technology, medicine, toys- pretty much any industry you can think of I'm sure it happens. There's also a lot of propaganda and tropes in media that can absolutely inform your opinion if that's all you see and you just accept it at face value. There's all sorts of levels of extreme to that too - blackface or straight up slurs in older films, or the tendency to only ever depict Africa as a monolith/small villages instead of many different cultures with different identities and levels of wealth, or even stuff like the cast of mostly guys and one girl or primarily white/straight casts with only one or two other identities represented. Dolls being primarily white-skinned, or the marketing of "boy toys" and "girl toys" affecting representation and consumption in children. I've been watching a lot of youtube essays lately on colorism, and have seen a good number of people cite negative body image directly to the kinds of things they saw represented on TV and in toys not matching their skin as they grew up.

I'm not saying all of this stuff is deliberate propaganda. Some things are, for example if the army sponsors a war game then uses a tournament for it as a recruitment strategy their motive is pretty clear there. But a lot of the time it's simply the media reflecting and perpetuating the culture in which it was created. Maybe it's something like the Hayes Code, which among other things didn't allow for heroes to be shown as gay-coded but didn't have all the same restrictions on villains, so there were a lot of gay-coded villains cropping up. Which may be better than no gay-coded people, but also associates those characters with certain other negative traits that can actually influence peoples' opinions in real life. Or maybe it's just something like all the cop shows that are popular for their serial mystery/monster of the week format, but which always hail their cop heroes as being honorable and good even if they have to break the rules/law sometimes. This reflects a society, and can reinforce it also, where cops get away with a lot of awful stuff because the bias is always in their favor. Or maybe even the trope where you give a villain a reasonable stance to begin with or at least a sympathetic background (movie Magneto was a Jewish kid put into a Nazi camp, and then as an adult people start talking about registering and restricting mutants) but have them go too far and their methods be deplorable enough (he decides that mutants are the superior race and all normal people should be killed or turned into mutants against their will) that they must be defeated - and their reasonable point is never actually addressed.

So I do think that it is important to be at least aware of stuff like this, even if you don't want to talk about it. That's more on a personal level, it's good for an individual to know how things may be affecting their own opinion beyond the obvious. On a larger scale, racist tropes that go unaddressed in canon and are just blithely accepted and perpetuated in fanon can lead to a fandom experience that locks out people of that race. Or really that goes for any minority.

So... I don't think people have to discuss this stuff to death or anything! But at the same time, I do feel being at least aware, even if it's not what you focus on, is somewhat important.

#anonymous #replies #fandom #my meta #i guess?#hopefully that clarifies my stance!#not saying everyone has to agree with me but this is how i look at it

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amhohwa · 3 years

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「 headcanon questions | accepting 」 —asked by @holographic-confidence, @exhuntra, @gueyveloz, @diamondtrail, @kiiingkobra, @lovclythief, @paquectric, @illusionage.

016. WHAT IS HIS WEAPON OF CHOICE? in the arena, he likes a few different types of weapons. im also biased so he likes the weapons that i like since he’s my main LOL. ideal loadout is a volt smg + r-301 carbine, though he’d also be satisfied with r-301 + charge rifle or r-301 + longbow dmr.

for any reconnaissance missions or other outside-the-arena activities, he favors a silenced pistol and a data knife.

also, of course, using hack as a bludgeoning weapon. he likes doing that quite a bit.

019. IF HE COULD HAVE A SUPERPOWER, WHAT WOULD HE CHOOSE? time travel. :^)

023. WHAT DOES HE CONSIDER BEAUTIFUL IN OTHERS PHYSICALLY? movement and posture. there’s something about the way a person carries themself, whether it’s with graceful poise, a tall and strong posture, or a confident swagger that crypto admires. probably because he tries to make himself as unobtrusive possible, to move through the world without being noticed too much. others who can carry themselves with confidence, not caring if anyone is watching them—he finds that really beautiful.

024. WHAT DOES HE CONSIDER UGLY IN OTHERS PHYSICALLY? this is hard just because i dont think he really cares what a person looks like when it comes to attraction. he’s definitely a believe that ugliness is something that shows in you because of your actions and your personality.

bad breath and bad teeth are up there though LOL

025. WHAT DOES HE CONSIDER BEAUTIFUL IN OTHERS PERSONALITY-WISE? kindness and optimism, even when faced with really difficult or terrible circumstances. he finds it really admirable that some people don’t feel the need to harden up and close themselves off in response to their trauma and hardships.

026. WHAT DOES HE CONSIDER UGLY IN OTHERS PERSONALITY-WISE? blatant and extreme cruelty. like, yeah, he’s a huge dick himself and he can say some mean things at times, but he’s definitely not the type to revel in making other people’s lives hell for the fun of it and he’s disgusted by people who do.

027. WHAT IS HIS IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS? right now crypto thinks he’ll be happy if he can clear his name, reunite with mila, and go home to suotamo and mystik. of course all of us know that is not a realistic dream and it’s never going to happen because he is unable to come to grips with the fact that he will never go back to his old life.

028. WHAT MAKES HIM LAUGH OUT LOUD? sadly nothing really does :/ it really would take a lot for that to happen. either some kind of unexpected funny thing happening or some kind of absurd statement or joke or something like that. crypto’s not a laugher, sorry 😔

029. WHAT SORT OF SENSE OF HUMOR DOES HE HAVE? on the surface? a very mean sense of humor. insults, ‘playful’ ribbing, calling everyone that’s not natalie an idiot, etc. he also enjoys sarcasm a great deal as well as deadpan humor just to fuck with people.

but he’s also not immune to a good pun (’data way,’ for example)

030. DOES HE BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE? no, not really. he’s an atheist and doesn’t think there’s anything waiting for us after we die.

031. IS HE SUPERSTITIOUS ABOUT ANYTHING? not in the way this question is asking, no. he’s too much of a realist/left-brain for anything like that.

032. DOES HE BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? no (see above)

033. DOES HE KEEP HIS PROMISES? i feel like crypto makes very few promises to anyone he doesn’t trust because yes, he does actually try to keep them.

034. WHAT’S HIS VIEW OF LYING? big big fan of lying over here. love it, will do it until he dies, 10/10 because to him lying = security.

035. WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE CRYPTO LIVES BY? trust nothing and no one.

038. WHAT BAD HABITS DOES HE HAVE? where to even start! LOL

he has a plethora of bad habits. some of the more obvious are:

not getting enough sleep/pushing himself to stay up all night

not eating consistent meals

vaping

overworking

but then there are some less obvious ones like pushing people away, freezing people out, distrusting EVERYONE, and all his other little paranoid habits like:

scanning everyone who comes to his home for weapons

setting up surveillance cams around places he frequents

not eating food made by others/that doesn’t come in a sealed container

maintaining a minimalist lifestyle specifically because he will have to run again in the future

crypto is an unhealthy mess!

039. WHAT DO THEY THINK IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN BE DONE TO A PERSON? hmmm this is a hard one. because there’s the very obvious answer of, like, being tortured or assaulted and really terrible things like that but maybe those things go without saying. so in his opinion, the worst thing that can happen to a person is becoming completely stripped of their identity. it is so alienating and othering to have who you are at your core foundationally upended

046. HOW DOES HE HANDLE GETTING SICK? like most things, crypto doesn’t handle it much at all LOL. once he realizes he’s getting sick he pushes himself through it as much as he possibly can to keep working/fighting/whatever until he physically collapses from it, whether that’s literally fainting or just falling into bed at night and waking up the next morning too sick to move. then he just lays there and hopes it passes quickly. he is horrible at self-care

049. HOW DOES CRYPTO FEEL ABOUT GROWING OLD? this is maybe a little morbid but crypto doesn’t have many feelings about growing old at the moment because he doesn’t think he’s going to live to being an old man. either the Syndicate is going to kill him or he’s going to die trying to take them down

050. HOW DOES CRYPTO FEEL ABOUT HIS OWN MORTALITY? he accepts his own mortality, and even if he’s not happy about it and even if he will fight it with gnashing teeth and claws, he accepts that he is going to die, probably soon. he’s just working to try and make it so that isn’t a thing that happens

051. IF HE KNEW HE WOULD DIE TOMORROW, WHAT WOULD CRYPTO DO TODAY? send a letter to mystik. try to get a message to mila. then he’d come up with some elaborate plan to try and really fuck things up for the Syndicate. sure it probably wouldn’t matter in the long run since they’re a huge conglomerate and have so much power but he can at least get some people thinking. so something like taking down a big rig of theirs or even just fucking up one of the arenas. something like that

068. HOW STRONG IS CRYPTO’S SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY? WHAT KINDS OF THINGS TRIGGER IT? hmmm i think crypto has a strong sense of responsibility, just generally speaking. like he keeps his living space neat and does his work on his own time and puts forth effort in the game and all that stuff. he is a very hard-working and dutiful person. i don’t think there’s anything that really ‘triggers’ it either because it’s either he does these things, or he doesn’t, but the only person who cares if he does or not is himself.

072. IN A DUNGEONS & DRAGONS GAME, WHICH CLASS WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE? i’ve spent an embarrassing amount of time thinking about this. if he was playing as a character, crypto would be a Divination Wizard for a couple of reasons. first and foremost being that of course he would get access to spells that rely all around foresight and knowledge and that’s what he’s all about—knowing more about everything going on than anyone else. he’d also favor spells that deal lightning damage. the second reason is that the main stat for wizards is Intelligence and u know he’s gotta have that 20 INT babey.

in my D&D au, though, crypto is a multi-classed Divination Wizard and Inquisitve Rogue. started out as a divination wizard as tae joon but then took up some rogue-like skills after going on the run. i picked Inquisitive Rogue because they’re all about perceiving little details and stuff like that. i know that’s more WIS and less INT but it suits crypto imho.

074. WHAT IS CRYPTO’S FAVORITE GAME? sorry in advance that im not going to pick just one. he likes a lot of different kinds of games, but i think his favorite kinds are horror games, games of strategy, and fighting games. so, stuff like detention, dead space, cultist simulator, portal, tekken, street fighter, etc.

078. HOW EMOTIONALLY STABLE IS YOUR CHARACTER? heeeeeee is not LOL. i mean, the reason he keeps such a tight grip on his persona and his emotions is because he’s like one misstep away from a total meltdown. he’s never properly grieved or mourned about what happened to him and having to go on the run, and now he can’t show any kind of emotion because that equals some kind of weakness or chink in the armor.

but under that armor he feels things INTENSELY. everyone gets on his nerves so easily, and everything that’s happened to him in the games so far is piling on: being framed as the mole, having to tell natalie his name, and now pathfinder/caustic. and thats not even touching on his crippling paranoia. it’s a lot from him and he is barely keeping it together. he’s just good at hiding it.

even so, it manifests in all the little ways, right? so like how he cant even enjoy a meal without wondering if it’s poisoned, his inability to sleep through the night, how he has to scan even pathfinder for weapons when he comes into his house. crypto is an mental and emotional disaster

085. DESCRIBE HIM IN THREE WORDS. stoic. resilient. paranoid.

087. HOW WOULD CRYPTO DESCRIBE HIMSELF IN THREE WORDS? genius. prepared. determined.

#「 crypto 。headcanons 」#thank u all ily ;__;#this is super long but i have so many thoughts and feelings abt crypto #ty for indulging me

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cynozurka · 3 years

Text

My notes from watching bo Burnhams inside when I thought it would be a good idea to just write about every song /bit xd

Fixing the world w comedy

I mean it was fine

Some good points

Self aware and all

How oppressors will do performative activism

But also contextualised with his persona its a bit weird

is he scared of becoming that or is he already that

Like he IS doing a bit here and I know that It factors into the whole self awareness debuckle but idk it's a bit iffy to me

Also not really productive i think (yeah I know that's not the point but let me ramble)

You can still educate through comedy and you can do both actually

BECAUSE NEWS FLASH YEAH YOU C A N USE YOUR PRIVELEGE TO HELP AND IT DOESN'T HELP ANYONE THAT YOU THINK IT'S SELFISH

Like idk i understanding where he is coming from but perpetuating that mindset isn't really helpful imo

Facetiming with mom

Too little i think? I mean a fine little song but didn't get much from it

* making a profound experience out of a superficial face time with mom but maybe it has actually become profound, how little we speak to our family kinda, deep shit*

But that's kinda? Known? And not really nuanced at all?

That's how the world works

Well I really liked that one

Bo shows how it depends on the oppressed to be polite to their oppressors (using those terms loosely, the class with power and the powerless etc) to have a slightest chance to be listened to

Like that was a nicely done bit

Also I maybe a bit of critism to "socko" for the not considering educating the character, maybe I'm reading to much into it

I was pleasantly surprised because I thought the special would be kinda epty with half statements and nothing said explicitly

Tho the joke in the contrast of a sock puppet /a children's character telling something unexpected or dark does scream millennial humor

The brand thing

Good but I think it's been done many times before

White woman's ig song

Cool, like the white woman's Instagram concept seems a bit 2017 but it's well done,

Couple interpetations

1how we only show good sides of our life on social media

That one is honestly too simple, been done many times, obvious

2How priveleged for example an American white woman owing the Instagram is not knowing this (is this heaven), the Instagram is very status quo with performative activism, "normal" is priveleged

The bit about the mom either

About venting on social media/furthering the theme that life isn't perfect (basic)

Humanizing, the white woman is still a person

We shouldnt antagonize priveleged people just because (it's actually important to have them on our side, the revolution is about destroying the class divide not creating more (that interpretation is generous tho)

Anyway the song is fine but I felt it could've said more and was a bit style over substance

About the theme of shutting up

Kinda? I mean I understand? But also not really it's important to exchange ideas and that everyone can do it imo, like I think it's a good social change that we can freely (well debatable) say our opinions but maybe it just went in a misquided way and it's just an illusion of everyone telling their opinions when we're still talking about like western world but I might be going to far but I think I know what he's getting at but also hhhhhh

The format of the reaction video seemed a bit condescending at first but I actually find it compelling mostly because I struggle with the same stuff and the cycle of self awareness is very familiar to me and the coping mechanism of saying you know you suck because then you feel you have an advantage over the people who would say that to you but it's not healthy to do that and you're also self aware of that

Bezos

I mean sure

I get it

You can say it had to be short to be punchy and it was just a transition

But also could've been more

Maybe I just prefer essays to poems

When he's laying on the floor and talking abt exploiting children and end with the statement of being horny idk didn't sit right with me I guess we can interpret that as the duality of man kinda thing where the world is so complicated yet we are simple creatures but idk it felt kinda invalidating just the vibe of the bit

A lot of my reactions was kinda like yeah no shit you aren't inventing the weel here

Sexting

As an asexual person it didn't really concern me

Felt outdated and too little and maybe a little not nuanced?

Like sure there were some good observations but also it was a bit too little again i think

Being funny stuck in a room sing

Fine, wanting to be seen as a kid but not as an adult because being seen can be dangerous

I think that was cool

But also idk it's not that funny or clever for me when he shows that he's taking multiple takes, wow who whouve thought people do that

Problematic

I feel nothing about it

I don't want to feel anything about it

Why the belly button close ups tho

The 30 thing

Really sad but also we know it's a performance so it felt a bit weird

The song was fun but like yeah not much said, again, we all know

Welcome to the internet

I mean sure again no shit

But it's a nice song

That funny feeling was very enjoyable actually

Anyway the overall performance is good, it's art and all but also I'm kinda done but also I think I am judging this differently than his previous songs and my judgment is harsher, like they're fine in the grand scheme of things

it was good, sometimes mediocre, overall probably very good and i hated it

not because it hit hard, it didnt really, nothing suprised me, it was just personally uneccassary for me to go through this

But also that's a very personal perspective and I understand how it can be good to other people

Also bo is a big comedian so good that he's talking about stuff like the bit with the sock

Anyway I need a break

#bo burnam inside #Inside #bo burnham

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