#this is just like an average sunday night for me though tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

survey--s · 6 months

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685.

1 - Who was the last person to give you a gift? What was the reason for it? Suzanne got me some chocolates as a "thank you" for looking after Charlie for a few days while they went away.

2 - Are you a good cook? If so, who taught you? What’s your favourite thing to cook? I can cook but I don't really enjoy it. My dad actually taught me most of the basics and then I was self-taught for the rest.

3 - When was the last time something in your house broke? Did you manage to fix it or did you need to buy a replacement? The xBox stopped working a while ago but when I tried it yesterday it seemed to be okay. I think it must have just overheated or crashed or something.

4 - Is any part of your body hurting right now? What caused that pain? Yeah, my left hip which always plays up when it's cold and snowy.

5 - Do you have anything exciting planned for the upcoming weekend? It's Sunday now and we have a snow day. Next weekend I have work on Saturday and then it's my birthday on Sunday so we're going out for lunch.

6 - If you could spend two weeks in any city in the world, which city would you pick and why? Tokyo, just because it's somewhere I've always wanted to go and it looks like one of those places where you'll never get bored.

7 - When was the last time you tripped or fell in public? if there was nobody around to see you, did you still feel embarrassed? I skidded on the snow this morning but it was only in the garden. I wasn't embarrassed, just glad I didn't get hurt tbh, haha.

8 - The last time you made a sandwich, what did you put in there? I have no idea, I never really eat sandwiches. I had peanut butter on toast this morning though!

9 - How many hours sleep did you get last night? Was that enough for you or could you have slept for longer? About seven? I woke up wide awake at 6am for no apparent reason.

10 - What’s your favourite time of day? What’s your favourite thing to do at that time? On workdays I love my afternoons. I finish work around 1.30pm, come home, feed the animals, shower and then I have the rest of the day to do what I want. Normally I watch TV, mess around online, play games or sometimes see friends. On weekends I love lazy mornings.

11 - Where did you go the last time you left your house? I haven't been out properly since Friday but I've been out in the garden to play with the dog in the snow a lot.

12 - Are you tired right now? Will you be going to bed anytime soon? I'm kinda tired but I won't be going back to sleep. It's nearly lunchtime so I'll feed the animals after this and then probably make myself something to eat.

13 - How many times a week do you get takeaway coffee, if you get it at all? On average, none lol. It's just too expensive for me to justify on a regular basis. I buy the syrups and stuff and make it at home.

14 - What radio station do you listen to the most? Radio One.

15 - If you eat steak, how do you like it cooked? What sauces or sides do you like to go with it? Rare, and I like it with mushrooms, fries and onion rings. In terms of sauce, I like blue cheese.

16 - Do you prefer sweet or savoury pancakes? What toppings do you have on them? Sweet. Normally I have blueberries, honey and bananas.

17 - Are you someone who cracks their joints a lot? Which one(s) do you tend to crack and click the most? My joints crack whenever I move, haha. Normally my toes, knees, back and neck make the most noise.

18 - Have you ever taken medication or tablets to help you sleep? is this something you do on a regular basis? Yeah, both prescription and herbal ones, but I haven't needed either for a good six months now.

19 - For you, what’s the worst thing about getting up in the morning? What about the worst thing about going to bed tonight? I just hate actually getting out of bed, especially in winter. I'm fine going to bed at night.

20 - Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks? Diet. I find the regular ones too sweet.

21 - What do you tend to wear if you’re just hanging about the house for the day? Leggings and a hoody at this time of year. In summer normally shorts and a t-shirt.

22 - When was the last time you dyed your hair? Did you do it yourself or get it done at a hairdresser? A couple of years ago. I always do it myself.

23 - Does having to wear a mask stop you doing things? Is this because you struggle wearing one or you just don’t like it? I couldn't wear one because of sensory issues. I have autism and having something covering my mouth and nose makes me nauseous and panicky. I could cope for a few minutes but nothing longer.

24 - Have you ever witnessed a car accident? Or have you perhaps been involved in one yourself? Were you at fault? I've never witnessed one but been involved in a couple - neither were my fault, though.

25 - When was the last time you baked a cake? What cake was it? Years ago. I don't really like baking. I did make bread during lockdown though using one of those kits.

26 - Do you like wearing bows or accessories in your hair? Nope.

27 - How many books do you read in a year? Do you enjoy reading or do you have to really force yourself to sit down and read? I haven't read a book in ages. I never read anymore, I just don't seem to enjoy it in the way I used to.

28 - If you have pets, where did they come from? A breeder, a rescue or maybe a friend who bred their pet? Purrlock is a rescue, Simba and Toby are farm kittens and Archie is from a breeder.

29 - Do you make your bed every morning when you get up? Yeah, every single day. It feels wrong not to make the bed.

30 - When was the last time you got takeaway food? Was it good? Last week, and yeah, it was pretty good.

#survey #surveys

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aprillikesthings · 3 years

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My itinerary is NUTS

I think I have one reservation left to make (the city pass) and then I don't have any Iceland expenses until I'm literally there?

OKAY.

This is all subject to cancellation For Obvious Reasons:

Thursday, September 9: Fly in just after 6am (which my body will think is 11pm...), buy snacks and possibly alcohol at the duty-free, take bus to Blue Lagoon, stay as long as I like (or until I get hungry--their food is expensive even for Iceland), take bus rest of the way into Reykjavik. Drop off suitcase at my guesthouse if they let me. Find and eat food. Buy some groceries (at Vegan búðin if I can) and/or yarn, depending on timing. (Guesthouse check-in is 3pm.) My plans are loose after that depending on how early I realize I feel like I've been run over, but general shopping-as-sight-seeing seems likely. I'm hoping to make it to like, 9pm before passing out. Jet lag, PMS, and lack of sleep vs. my body always perking up in the evening: who will win?!

Friday: Gonna have a city pass that gets me free entry into a bunch of museums plus bus fare. I need to look up the museum list on a map; I know there's some I really want to see like the open-air museum, and some that aren't a priority. I think it also gets me up the elevator to the top of Hallgrímskirkja? (Note to self to look up the hours of things; a lot of museums have pretty short hours.)

Saturday: Daytime plans are loose. Might see some things that the museum pass doesn't cover, like The Phallological Museum. (Edit: need to rent trekking poles!) That evening I have a reservation for a bus/hike to the volcano, though. :D :D :D (Here's hoping the weather cooperates. If the lava gives us a good show--it's been super off-and-on--that's a nice bonus!)

Sunday: Depending on soreness/exhaustion level, and how shy I'm feeling, go to church at Hallgrímskirkja, despite the service being in Icelandic. (They do have an English-language service once a month, but not while I'm there.) Go to the big Olympic pool with the twisty slide I remember from when I was a kid, maybe?

(The guy who does most of the youtube videos for Grapevine has a walking tour, but it's a little pricey. I'd get to meet his dog Polly, though!)

That's the afternoon/evening I have tickets to see Björk at Harpa, though; assuming it's not postponed. I might be too busy vibrating in excitement to do anything lolol.

Monday: bus tour along the South coast! Pretty beaches! At least one waterfall! A glacier? I forget what else is on the list tbh but it's a like, 9-hour trip, phew.

Tuesday: get my rapid-antigen covid test required to get on the plane home. Otherwise a chill day. Go swimming if I didn't on Sunday. Maybe even if I did, there's certainly enough pools, lol.

Wednesday: Golden Circle bus tour (Þingvellir, Gullfoss, the geothermal park with the geysir Strokkur). It also stops at a farm that's famous for ice cream made from the milk of the cows that live there, which is pointless for me (who knows, maybe they'll have fruit sorbet?), but going by pictures and reviews you also get to pet Icelandic sheep and horses and cows, which is the real reason I picked the tour that included the farm, lol.

Thursday: Take city bus to Keflavik, get off near where my old house was (I've looked, there's a stop really close by), walk around awkwardly with a wheely suitcase for ...I think I have two hours? before getting back on that bus to take it the rest of the way to the airport four hours before my flight leaves because right now coming and going takes longer than usual due to having to present the negative covid test. Ponder buying Brennivín despite the fact that I rarely drink anymore. I will probably buy some candy including Opal licorice, though. Possibly this is when I fill my suitcase with enough presents for people that I have to check the damn thing lol.

Looser things to fit in around other plans: walking or bicycling along the waterfront area, including getting a selfie with The Sun Voyager (a big metal sculpture thing). Taking the ferry to Videy island to walk around and enjoy the views. Lazily perusing a bookstore's English section. Drinking tea or coffee in a cafe while knitting or reading. Eating too many baked goods and drinking far too much coffee.

I have a list of people I plan to send postcards to, which reminds me I need to text some people for addresses. (The list is admittedly short, in part because mailing postcards to the states from Iceland is like $2 a pop, and sending it from Iceland is like half the point.)

There's also an assortment of goofy tourist-trap types of things like Perlan (museum-y stuff), and FlyOver Iceland (which is basically a high-tech immersive movie). There's a place that dresses you up like a Viking and takes professional photos for $100 that, honestly, looks dorky but fun. I think there's one that replicates the aurora, as well?

Speaking of which: there's already been some pretty strong aurora activity this year, so if there's a night with an aurora and decent weather, there's tour companies that either drive you to a more remote location or put you on a boat to see it without the light pollution of the city.

My original plans included going out dancing/drinking one night--the bar scene in Reykjavik is notorious, and I wanted to at least stop in at Kiki Queer Bar for a bit. But the recent spike in cases has been attributed to people (including locals) going to bars/clubs, where it's impossible to social distance and people have to yell to talk to each other and nobody is wearing masks.

In general my plan is to eat the free cold breakfast at the guesthouse every morning, eat less-expensive grab'n'go meals or ones I make at the guesthouse when I can, and limit myself to an average of one (1) meal in a restaurant most days. Partially because food in Iceland is just expensive. Partially to limit my exposure. (Outdoor dining is limited during a time of year that's likely to be 50f with wind and/or rain, okay.)

I fully expect that I'm going to be more thorough/paranoid about mask-wearing than the locals. I know the tour buses all require and enforce mask-wearing, and IIRC the ones I reserved are all smaller groups (less than 20). But I'm already at way more risk than a lot of tourists who rent cars/campervans and only see people at waterfalls and campgrounds and gas stations.

What happens if I test positive before I leave? I get to quarantine in a non-fancy hotel in Iceland for ten days on their dime. They even bring food to your door. This is obviously not ideal for many reasons, especially if I do actually feel ill, so yeah. Gonna be careful about the masking etc. while I'm there.

#my life #april goes to iceland

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aliveandfullofjoy · 3 years

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okay! for some ungodly reason i've finally seen all 8 of this year's best picture nominees, all 20 of this year's nominated performances, and all five directing nominees. because i'm nothing if i don't rank things, here we go!

Best Picture:

Nomadland

Minari

Sound of Metal

The Father

Judas and the Black Messiah

Promising Young Woman

The Trial of the Chicago 7

Mank

i am NOT HERE for #7 or 8, but i either love or like the top six, which is a pretty great average for me. the top two are pretty far out ahead comparatively, but again, really solid group overall.

Best Director:

Chloé Zhao, Nomadland

Lee Isaac Chung, Minari

Emerald Fennell, Promising Young Woman

Thomas Vinterberg, Another Round

David Fincher, Mank

Zhao's win will be richly deserved. Fincher has no business being nominated. Vinterberg's work is solid, but the film is pretty hollow and will be a wholly unmemorable winner for International Feature (especially with Quo Vadis, Aida? in contention as well -- Jasmila Zbanic would've been a far more deserving international nominee for Director too).

Best Actress:

Frances McDormand, Nomadland

Carey Mulligan, Promising Young Woman

Viola Davis, Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

Andra Day, The United States vs. Billie Holiday

Vanessa Kirby, Pieces of a Woman

I've settled on predicting Viola Davis for the win on Sunday, and I'll be thrilled to see her win a leading Oscar even if her work in Ma Rainey is far from my favorite performance of hers. McDormand is miraculous in Nomadland, and she's remained my personal choice in this category all year. Mulligan is great, walking a real tightrope in her film. Day and Kirby are in very, very bad movies, and while neither of them are bad, neither of them are very good either.

Best Actor:

Anthony Hopkins, The Father

Steven Yeun, Minari

Chadwick Boseman, Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

Riz Ahmed, Sound of Metal

Gary Oldman, Mank

man, replace fuckin' Gary Oldman with Delroy Lindo and you'd have what might be the best oscar lineup ever?? Oldman is excruciatingly hammy, but the other four are unreal. Ahmed would probably win in any other year, and he's amazing. Yeun does beautifully subtle work; even with the Oscar nomination, I feel like his performance is underrated. Hopkins gives a career-best performance in The Father. he's astonishing, and he seems to be picking up steam to win the whole damn thing at the eleventh hour. however, i won't lie to you: if he wins on Sunday, i'll be just a little disappointed. Chadwick Boseman's stunning final performance in Ma Rainey would be a great performance regardless of his death, but a posthumous Oscar win is a more than fitting tribute to one of the great movie stars of our lifetime, gone far too soon.

Best Supporting Actress:

Youn Yuh-jung, Minari

Olivia Colman, The Father

Maria Bakalova, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

Amanda Seyfried, Mank

Glenn Close, Hillbilly Elegy

if Youn doesn't win on Sunday, i'll be devastated, lmao. she's so far and away the most deserving choice here. Colman gives a beautiful, complex performance in The Father. Bakalova also gives a complex performance, albeit a very funny one. Seyfried revitalizes her drab film whenever she appears, but it's not much more than that. Close is... the less said about her performance the better.

Best Supporting Actor:

Paul Raci, Sound of Metal

Daniel Kaluuya, Judas and the Black Messiah

Lakeith Stanfield, Judas and the Black Messiah

Leslie Odom, Jr., One Night in Miami

Sacha Baron Cohen, The Trial of the Chicago 7

Sacha Baron Cohen's nomination is completely useless, as is his entire film, but otherwise, these are four great performances. are they four great supporting performances? ehhhh. maybe not! Odom is terrific, easily the highlight of Miami. Stanfield is so, so good in Judas, but he's clearly the film's lead. Kaluuya, who will win the Oscar in a walk, is tremendously powerful, a real volcanic performance. Raci is my favorite, though, a wholly honest and lived-in supporting turn from a character actor who's never even flirted with this level of exposure before. his nomination was one of the unlikeliest, but it's one of the very best of the year.

i'll probably post predictions this weekend. excited for this season to finally end tbh, lol.

#sometimes elliott watches movies #oscah talk 2k21 #oscars

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1119

survey by icantloveu

Today:

Who was the first person you saw? It was my dad. I fell asleep in the living room last night and he was the first person to go downstairs.

Who was the first person who called you? I have not received any call today so far and I’m not expecting any to come through today, a Sunday.

Who was the first person you called? I haven’t called anyone, either. The closest is an eyewear store I messaged on Messenger just a few minutes ago to ask if they accept walk-ins, since I didn’t know they’ve mostly taken appointments throughout the pandemic. If they don’t, I’ll have to wait until Thursday to get a check-up.

What was the first thing you did? I was mad at myself for falling asleep early last night and kinda wasting my weekend, so the second I opened my eyes I got up and looked for a survey to answer, lol.

What'd you have for breakfast? Fried rice, eggs, hotdogs, kikiam, and danggit, with crab paste.

Lunch? Skipped lunch as always since we have late breakfast. I might make coffee.

Dinner? I’m still indecisive on whether I’ll have dinner at home or somewhere outside. In any case, I can’t tell what I’ll be eating just yet.

Who'd you hang out with? I’ll be just by myself today.

What'd you do? I plan on taking a couple more surveys after this. I also wanna do some work ahead of tomorrow and watch the newest episode of 2 Days 1 Night as well.

Favorite song you heard? I am finding Ravi and Lee Naeun’s Rain Drop preeeeeeetty catchy.

Did you see anyone you hadn't seen in awhile? Not today. But last Friday this was the case as I saw Al, Pia, Kyelle, Gab, and Sam for the very first time in well over a year. Angela and Hans were part of the group as well but we were able to see each other during the holidays.

Last:

Thing you ate? The last spoonful of my rice, which I think I topped with the last of my egg and hotdog.

Movie you saw? Midsommar, I think. Last Christmas. I don’t watch a lot of movies anymore.

Girl you hugged? Angela. We saw each other for like, 15 seconds yesterday afternoon so that she could return the abaca mat I lent her for her graduation shoot.

Guy you hugged? I believe it was Hans, when we were saying bye last Friday. If not him, it would have been Al.

Family member you hugged? No idea. Maybe an aunt.

Type of soda you drank? I don’t drink any softdrinks. I did drink red wine that turned out to be carbonated last Valentine’s Day, though.

Flavor of gum you chewed? It’s a gimmick-y kind of gum that is extremely sour when you first pop it in your mouth; but once you start chewing it the sourness dies down and it goes back to the classic bubblegum taste.

Time you brushed your teeth? Last night.

Time you showered? Midnight yesterday when I got home from the aforementioned hangout with friends. I wasn’t able to take a shower yesterday because it had been freezing cold all day, but I plan on having one today.

Time you rode in the car? Yesterday when I drove out of the village to briefly meet up with Angela.

Word you said? Not sure; maybe just a ‘hi’? I greet my dogs a lot.

Person you talked on the phone to? My mom called me last night to tell me dinner was ready.

Time you cried? Genuinely no clue. I’d say a couple or even several weeks ago.

Currently:

Wearing? I have on an olive green sleveeless turtleneck top, and a pair of shorts.

Eating? None at the moment but I do feel like munching on something. Salted egg chips sound amazing right now, actually.

Drinking? Nothing, but I am in the mood for coffee.

Thinking? What else I can do today to maximize what’s left of my weekend.

Doing? [besides this survey] Looking at possible frames to buy for my new eyeglasses.

Friends:

Last friend's house you stayed at? Eugh, I think it had still been Gabie’s. I haven’t stayed at anyone else’s place during the pandemic so far; I’ve driven by Angela’s house briefly a couple of times, though. Mostly to just like return stuff or hand her a gift.

Last friend who stayed at your house? Angela and Hans.

Who has the coolest siblings? Probably Rita. All her siblings have got their own things and gigs and passions going on and I find that awesome. Of course, their family is filthy, old-money rich so their parents have more than enough money to let them sustain their hobbies, so I guess that’s a crucial factor in this too. But even then, they’re all humble and insanely nice so they’re still cool lol.

Who's an only child? Angela, Jo, Luisa, and I think Blanch??

Who have you gone on the most trips with? I don’t go on many trips with friends.

Who's met your family? Angela, and because of that one time my orgmates held a meeting at my house - Kate, Patrice, Jo, Jane, Aya, JM, and Edi.

Family:

Who's the craziest? There’s honestly a lot of chaos on my mom’s side, tbh. There’s past and current animosities, land issues, and general attitude problems among many of them. Of course, they try to hide it from the younger generation and everyone puts disagreements behind them during family gatherings; but the older I’ve gotten, the more my mom has let me in to some of the stories. That said, I can’t tell you who would be the craziest of them all.

Sanest? [is that a word] I would trust one of my aunts with my whole life, if it comes down to it. She has such a warm personality, is an amazing and sweet mom, and talking to her has always felt like talking to an old college friend that you’re having drinks with. I feel like I should do more for her as her niece, but yeah, I love her a lot.

Loudest? I will happily refer you to the entirety of my mom’s side, again. Everyone’s mode of communication seems to be yelling.

Lives the farthest away? Everyone who lives in the US.

Who do you live with? Both of my parents and my two siblings.

Has the most dogs? My dad’s immediate family, from whom Kimi actually came. There’s two dogs I can play with whenever we visit - Spike and Gucci - then they also have several other dogs but they aren’t too guest-friendly.

Has the most cats? My mom’s sister-in-law used to have like, 3 or 4 cats but I’m not sure if they’re still alive.

Has the most cars? I’m not sure. Most seem to have 1-3 which is the average for families anyway.

Random..

What color are your shoelaces? I’m not wearing any shoes at the moment.

Describe your sunglasses: I don’t own any.

Song you listened to last is...? Some jazz-y coffee shop-y tune I heard on YouTube.

Do you have a digital camera? Not anymore. I just use my phone to take photos.

What's the last type of cookie you ate? It had coffee and dark chocolate in it, but I can’t exactly remember what the name of the product is anymore.

Do you have your own computer? I have my own laptop. I never had a computer; I just went straight to having a laptop.

Describe your computer chair? I never had a computer chair per se but my work chair is nothing fancy, it’s just a plastic black chair that my parents bought initially just so that I had somewhere to sit on for my internship at my now-employer. Eventually I didn’t like how I was working in my room because I stopped being able to separate my personal life and my work life, so I’ve been working at the dining table these days.

Why is it called a computer chair anyways? I didn’t know this was a term, actually. I usually just keep hearing gaming chair.

What do you call the remote for the TV? Remote control, or sometimes just remote.

Do you have a crush on anyone? Nope.

What's on your walls? A few posters and wall decors. Some paintings from Gab towards which I have zero feelings or attachment anymore but I feel too lazy to take down.

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed. It would be impossible for me to fall asleep otherwise.

Can you fall asleep with the TV on? Sure, but the program has to be something I was watching to begin with so I can be lulled to sleep. If it’s a show about something I don’t find interesting, I might just find it as noise.

What is the last book you read? I don’t know.

What's your least favorite class? I don’t go to school anymore but in my final semester I hated my business writing class. I hated all my journalism classes, actually; but it was business writing that made me feel the most nervous.

Are you cold? I’m just right. It’s chilly enough not to need the fan, but I’m not shivering either.

Where are you? I’m in the living room.

What is touching your foot? The couch.

Are you wearing any jewelry? Nopes.

If so, what?

What's your name? Robyn.

Do you like it? Sure.

Would you change it if you could? Not at this point.

[for girls] Are you going to keep your last name when you get married? I would hyphenate it, yeah. This is also so that I get to keep my middle name as well.

#survey #surveys

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crent-trimm · 3 years

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@blahdose tagged me in this a million years ago but you can’t copy more than one line of text at a time on mobile so I had to get my laptop out and I’m lazy is the thing

rules: answer 30 questions and tag whoever you want to :)

1. name/nickname: Technically both Ellie and Eliot are nicknames and if you know what my name was before that no you don’t

2. gender: probably somewhere on the nonbinary spectrum but I’m also definitely a dude and the pronouns are he/him

3. star sign: Libra

4. height: 5'7

5. time: currently? 12:44

6. birthday: October 8

7. favorite bands: Taking Back Sunday, Matchbox Twenty, My Chem, Backstreet Boys idk I don’t listen to new music often and these are bands I’ve loved since forever that are still around

8. favorite solo artists: Taylor Swift, Alanis Morissette, Ben Folds same as above

9. song stuck in my head right now: Long Day by Matchbox Twenty. I have been listening to them non-stop for a week which is probably not a great sign for my mental state tbh

10. last movie: There’s a very real possibility that it was Sonic the Hedgehog but an equally real possibility that it was Emma. I’ve got layers.

11. last show: Supernatural

12. when did i create this blog: My original blog I made in 2009 and then I deleted that and made this one somewhere around 2016?? maybe??

13. what i post: Mostly spn but also just whatever comes across my dash that I like. I rarely venture into the tags

14. last thing i googled: “covid vaccine nj” (turns out I’m eligible woooo)

15. other blogs: don’t have one

16. do i get asks: almost never

17. why i chose my url: Sad Savior is a Taking Back Sunday song that I one time played 145 times in a row so that it could be my most played song on itunes even though it had just come out. Also TBS is the only thing I’ve actively liked for as long as I have without ever getting bored of it.

18. following: 147

19. followers: 291

20. average hours of sleep: 6-8 hours but last night I slept like

21. lucky number: One time in like middle school I got mad because I didn’t have a lucky number so I decided it was 13,506

22. instruments: no

23. what am i wearing: blue shirt, black shorts

24. dream trip: When I was a kid the only time we ever went on “vacations” it was just going to see my dad so it’s kind of built into my brain that trips are for the purpose of seeing people, not just going places. So idk i really don’t have ambitions with regard to travel but there are definitely some people I would like to see

25. favorite food: Mac and cheese. I am a child. (it’s funny because I am a professional chef and I currently work in this really bougie restaurant making super fancy food and then I come home and make boxed mac and cheese for myself)

26. nationality: American

27. favorite song: I don’t really have one. Depends on my mood.

28. last book read: I used to listen to audiobooks on my commute but then quarantine left me unemployed for a year and my attention span has gone to shit. I’ve read some novel length fanfiction does that count??

29. top 3 fictional universes: Buffyverse, Star Trek, maybe the Leverage universe where rich people face consequences sometimes

30. favorite color: blue

I’m gonna tag @schleprocked @prewars and @salamandertoast but no pressure do what you want

#about me

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shiro-0197 · 3 years

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Yes!! My other favourite anime will be ending on Sunday too, so I was rewatching it as well.

I'm glad you like my attention xD I like giving it to you— oh yes. We have to wake up very early for school, and since most of us have no self discipline, we sleep very late. So skjdksjsks on average during school, I used to get 6 hours of sleep a day max, unless I slept during class. Which is not healthy ikik but im making up for it now hhhh :]

chocolates for new year?? That sounds so niceeeee!! And oh you have a store?? That's really cool >.< I plan on baking something for new year, if I'm free QwQ Do you celebrate Christmas, Shiro?

And awwww. Im really touched you'd say something like that. I have lots of obsessions tbh xD but my favourites rn are BTS, classic literature, and anime 😣🤚 they're so different, what would you say you like a lot, besides anime? And I hope you know you can talk to me about them anytime!! I'd love to listen.

Of course!! When I go over again, I'll definitely tell him Shiro said hi :>

I love you too, and I hope you sleep well tonight :) glad I could be of help. Okie dokes!! I won't apologize anymore since I do it very often and it'd get tiring 😭😭😭😣😝 but yes!! I get carried away a lot. Glad to know you don't mind tho.

—Ari

Ohh! Can I know what anime is it? I like binging finished stuff😋

Heheh, we also have absolutely no discipline. Some stay up all night. Though they mostly do that to prepare for exams, because there is no other time they can prepare for them as our schedule gets flooded in the day, but still its surprising how some go as far as not sleeping at all. But sometimes bitches do that for no reason and I really start questioning what's up with them sjjfjsndjsjd

I'm glad you're getting more sleep now🥺 It's really important. If I get a minute less or more of sleep, my head hurts, and unfortunately I havent found the amount of time I need for it to not hurt, but I'll get there:)

It sure does sound nice!! Imagine some sweet chocolate bars with a cup of coffee with no sugar, now that sounds like a dream. Wait, I think I'm gonna have that for breakfast now XD

Oh, it's not really our store, it's our apartment's store :D we're used to calling it our cuz there are many different shops here. We never call stores by their names, we have an "our store", a "stairs store" and a "big store" xD

Your plans sound nice!! I wish I was there to bake something with you🥺 itd be so fun!!!

My family doesn't celebrate christmas, since they're Muslim, but my friends congratulate me so I just go with the flow, haha! But we celebrate New Years the same way others celebrate Christmas, so we're not missing out, thankfully~

Ohhh, they're indeed different, but they really compliment each other:0

Hmm, I'm not exactly sure, probably those videos about creepy stuff in our world. Like, not legends or myths, but exactly creepy stuff that's happened or exists or happens regularly, basically anything on the youtube channel "Ridddle" (with 3 Ds, I cant believe I always spelled it with 2😭). That stuff is so sick. Really awesome😍😍 Also, probably music where the singer screams. Like ロキ by mafumafu, theres like a short scream somewhere and I listen to the song for that only😭😭😭 well, not only for that, but I absolutely adore that part and will sell my two eyes to hear something like that on my deathbed

I also hope you slept well tonight!! I slept pretty nice, but my headache is at it again🙄 gonna have a breakfast (brunch probably, since its 10am soon xD) and itll be good!

Yeah, apologizing a lot is reaaaaally exhausting, ik what u mean :< so dont worry, you dont have to apologize to me at all, tbh I really hate the word. "Sorry" it's so weird. Reminds me of JB's song😩😩 and kind of tiring to see people apologize for no reason~

Your message really made my day, strangely enough, haha! Thank you. I love you a lot and I hope your day is going great, good luck with anything you're doing💝💞💖💖💕

#Ari💕#love you🥺🥺

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imagineredwood · 6 years

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Bishop NSFW Alphabet

(or as much as I could come up with)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Very cuddly and protective. Makes sure you’re ok, that you’re hydrated, reminds you to pee before you fall asleep, tucks you into the blankets, holds you to his chest, fixes your hair if he messed it up. He just likes to look after you and take care of you after you took care of him.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his mouth because he knows that it can leave you trembling in a matter of minutes. He knows exactly what you want when you keep glancing down at then, biting your lip and squirming around. He loves how weak it can make you, but when it comes to your body, god if he isn’t a drooling mess when it comes to your breasts. They’re perfect to him. Absolutely perfect. He loves the shape of them, the slope of them, the smoothness of the skin, your nipples, everything. Nothing can make him drop to his knees faster than you pulling off your top in front of him or god forbid pulling down one side of your top to expose a breast out of nowhere.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

On your chest. Tying back into the above letter, he loves your breasts and the only thing that makes him hotter than seeing your breast bare before him is seeing them covered and dripping in his cum.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Oh, he’s got experience and lots of it. He’s the President and he’s not exactly the same spring chicken like some of the other guys. He’s made his way around the block a few times and picked up plenty of tricks along the way.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Plain old missionary. Nothing crazy, just old school face to face. He wants to really pay attention to you and see

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He tends to be more serious. More often than not he’s making love to you rather than fucking you and he’s usually very in the moment and focused on the intimacy between the two of you, though he does love to see you smile.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He grooms himself but he’s still more on the natural side. You’ve never seen him shaved bare before. It’s just not really his thing, too much work, and upkeep. He does keep himself to where he’s natural but not unruly.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Very romantic and intimate, no matter what. He loves eye contact and holds it nearly the entire time. He loves making sure you see how consumed by you he is and how you have his full and undivided attention. He loved to bury his fingers into your hair at the back of your head and hold you in place, keeping you face to face. He loves to kiss you everywhere and feel you pressed against him. The intimacy is half the pleasure for him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He’s a grown man, he can take care of himself and he does. Not only when on runs but even when you’re there. If he wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, he’ll usually take care of himself, especially on a weeknight and he knows you have to be up early for work. He’s fine with taking care of himself until you’re available or game. He always much rather have you do it though of course.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Daddy/caregiver kink. Don’t fight me on this.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Innocently enough, just seeing you in domestic situations. When he comes home and finds you at the stove cooking dinner in a tank top and some panties or waking up on a Sunday morning and seeing you dance around the house as you mop. He loves seeing you relaxed and safe and happy, with him. Seeing you comfortable and doing the things that you want to do as the woman of the house gets him hard embarrassingly fast.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that will hurt you or greatly degrade you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Definitely prefers to give. He loves to look after you and spoil you and one of his favorite ways to do that is with his head between your thighs. He loves the way you sound, the way you move, the way you grip him. Of course, he’ll never turn down the chance to receive, but giving is there he really gets into it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on the situation and mood. Typically he’s more slow and sensual, but he can most definitely switch it up and take you hard or rough when the mood strikes, or if you ask.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’ll have a quickie if you really, really want one, but he himself rather just wait until he has the time and privacy to do it right. He likes to spend as much time as he likes and hates having to rush so unless you can convince him otherwise, he rather wait until he gets you home and all to himself.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’d rather go for one really good one and then call it a night. Up early, asleep late, stressful days, shootouts. Unless you surprise him in his favorite red lingerie, he’s going to take his time and make sure that he gives you his all in one really good round. Its usually only lazy Sundays where he’ll take your repeatedly throughout the day

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He loves to use them on you. He’s a grown man and very confident and comfortable in his sexuality and abilities. Sex toys don’t intimidate him at all and he’s very open to incorporating them into your sex life.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to be teased more than tease. He likes to build up, the suggestive texts, the risque pics, the promises of what will be to come when he gets home. Direct teasing though isn’t his favorite though. He much rather have an even give and take for whatever either of you wants.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not very loud or vocal. He much rather hear you.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I honestly haven’t put enough tthought into this to come up with an answer tbh lmao

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He’s pretty average. He’s somewhat older than the others so he’s calmed down some as well and the club takes a lot of his focus, but when he wants you, he’ll have you and no age or rough day is going to stop him.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He’s out like a light pretty quickly. Once he knows you’re good and cuddled up, he’s gone.

#bishop losa #mayans mc #preferences

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zabdi-x · 5 years

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Tag Game!

nicknames? I don't really have any. My parents call me ET because they're my initials and my friends used to call me Karen even though my name is Erin (long story).

gender? a girl ♡

height? 5′3 I'm short. I get measured everytime I go to the hospital and I've shrunk somehow...

time? 00:26

where am i from? Scotland

Hogwarts house? Hufflepuff ✌

Favourite shows? Bones, Chicago Med, Teen Wolf, Pretty Little Liars, Riverdale, Gossip Girl, On My Block, Élite and mucho más.

Favourite animals? Perros! I like horses too and penguins are cute. I'm scared of cats though. I'm also scared of snakes and spiders.

Favourite band/artists? CNCO, The Vamps, Little Mix, Shawn Mendes, Ariana Grande, Sabrina Carpenter, Alessia Cara, The Jonas Brothers y mucho más.

Song stuck in my head? Sometimes It Rains In LA (The Vamps), De Cero (CNCO) and Trust My Lonely (Alessia Cara). Kinda going between the three rn.

Last movie i saw? Avengers: Endgame. I cried like a baby and I'm soooo ready for Spider-Man: Far From Home!

Last thing i googled? Brad Simpson. Can you blame me? The guy is a work of art.

Other blogs? Nada. I used to have a blog that was dedicated to youtube and athletics but I never used it and got rid of it a looooong time ago.

Do i get asks? What are they? Just kidding! I don't so feel free to send them!

Why this url? Porque I'm really not that creative so I just used Zabdiel's nickname and added a dash and a kiss to make it look cute ✌

Number of blankets? Does this refer to duvets? I only use one duvet but I have a winter duvet and a summer duvet because I get really cold in winter.

Followers? 27 I think and although it might not seem like a lot to some, I don't mind because I have this account to share pieces of writing, support other fans and just support the boys.

Following? 46 I think?

Average amount of sleep? On a weekday/school night, I aim for at least 8 but normally end up getting just over 6. The weekend? Completely different story! At least 9 or 10. I need my sleep otherwise I can trigger headaches.

Lucky number? 4 because it was the date that I was born and it was always my preferred track lane.

What am i wearing? An old athletics competition t-shirt as a pyjama top and pyjama shorts.

Dream job? Realistically, a primary school teacher but if we're talking all goals here, a singer but I can't sing so...

Dream trip? I'm desperate to travel to South America, Australia, Hawaii but I absolutely adore Spain. I love Madrid and all the Spanish Islands, especially Lanzarote.

Favourite food? I love lasagna, pasta but I also love mince and tatties, a sunday roast, shortbread. I'll eat just about anything tbh.

Instruments i play? I can play Old McDonald on a keyboard but that's it. I'm not very musically talented.

Eye colour? Green but sometimes they can look blue.

Hair colour? Auburn/naturally red.

Aesthetics? Idk, anything pastel I guess?

Languages i speak? English. I learned some Spanish in school and I'm desperate to keep that up so if you speak Spanish, speak to me please! I'm also now doing French at school and it's not going great ✌

Best pun? Honestly, puns are only funny when they're really bad.

Most iconic song? Anything by The Beatles or Queen. Can't beat them.

When i created this account? This month (June) or last month (May)? I think this month though.

Best memory? Meeting The Vamps.

Random fact? I've run on the same track as Usain Bolt. Weird flex, but ok.

So, I don't really know who to tag. If you wanna do it and see this on my page, tag me in yours so I can read it! Thank you to @gostosojoel for tagging me to do this x

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littlemissnellie · 6 years

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rules: answer 30 questions and tag 10 people

thank you for tagging me @panda-plumbobs and @tiredtoothache! ily guys! <3

nickname(s): ellie, el…anything you want really.

gender: female

sign: okay, I just learned about this last night but mine is - gemini (sun), capricorn (moon) and sagittarius (rising)

height: around like 5′ 8′‘ / 5′ 9′‘ I think???

time: 12:06pm

birthday: 7th of june

favourite bands: littlemix, mcfly, clean bandit, muse, 5 seconds of summer and even one direction bc who doesn’t love a throwback?

favourite solo artists: adele, sia, tori kelly, ed sheeran, and then like a bunch of others but like only bc I like 1 song by them

song stuck in my head: hero is my middle name from spongebob squarepants the musical bc I was listening to it as a joke but then genuinely enjoyed the music and now it reminds me of some of my sim bbies and I could cry bc it makes be so happy

last movie I watched: finding dory was just on the tv, so i’ll go with that.

last show I watched: a documentary about dentistry, partly for research and partly just because it fascinates me

when did I create this blog: 27th november 2016

what do I post: my storyline-based Daley legacy, my ‘more gameplay-central’ differences in the family tree legacy and my sim story: Golgotha Manor.

what did I last google: ‘old-fashioned girls names’ bc i’ve been character planning lol

other blogs: my cc finds blog @littlemissnelliecc and my stupid main blog that I can’t get rid of @littlemissnellie-main

do I get asks: sometimes!

why did I choose this url: bc I used to love the mr men and little miss books when I was little and ‘nellie’ is a nickname for eleanor that I thought sounded cute with it. it should probably have been sometime sims related but i’m not original enough to think of a cute sims one.

following: 124

followers: 351

average hours of sleep: usually like 7

lucky number: 4

instrument: the piano. I’ve played it since I was 7.

what i’m wearing: a dark green jumper with a cute white little peter pan collar, some dark blue jeans, my rose-ish gold watch, my star earrings, some pastel yellow frilly socks and the adorable bunny slippers that I got for christmas. so a nice casual sunday outfit :)

dream job: a dentist!

favourite food: oh god, like everything tbh lmao. I do love my mum’s potato salad and banoffee pie though not together though, of course lol

last book I read: the handmaid’s tale, for my english literature class.

3 favourite fandoms: probably the sim fandom, the Disney fandom and the star wars fandom? idk lol

tag 10 11 people: (okay feel free not to do this, I just love all of your blogs and needed people to tag) @surreysimmer, @whiite-tea, @smallcowplant, @pxelplants, @lizzamorango, @raamensims, @bbysim, @amessofsims, @vvindenburg, @rosayquartz and @stephanine-sims!

#littlemissnellie #littlemissnellie tag

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 7 years

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8 things finishing my 8th book taught me

*I wrote this post on the 16th of October, for the record!*

Hey People of Earth!

So just like in the post I wrote up in January when I finished my seventh novel, this is kind of nuts to say, and I didn't think I’d be writing this for another month, but uh.

I finished my eighth book.

jskwiclksalwkmevlqk

I’m going to quote past me in that particular post (which you can read HERE) because if this isn't scary accurate, I dunno what is:

So I kind of made a stupid, somewhat fleeting goal this past Friday, as I usually do. And that was to finish this book at all costs.

It doesn't *really* surprise me that that I finished my seventh novel, and then my eighth under the same parameters, lol. (Both were finished on Sunday nights too, I believe?)

I genuinely can’t believe this book is over. It’s been eight months of writing this novel (HA eight months for my eighth book) and I can say I’m genuinely so sad it’s over. I walked around today feeling like I lost an important part of myself which is really dramatic seeming as though I just finished the book, but I hope someone out there relates.

I started this book right after finishing my seventh novel (book four in this series), and I’ll be honest--I was so scared about writing this book. Book seven gave me a really hard time, and I almost thought I’d made a mistake in a) continuing this story and b) taking it in the direction I did. I couldn't evade fear when writing this novel. Starting it took me a while because it was so nerve-wracking to think it could be as much of a struggle as the last. I didn't want to fail because I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to pull myself out of that rut, and then end up with an unfinished series.

Annnnnnd then I started my Doing the Write Thing updates, and all of that worry faded a bit. I started DtWT at a little under 10k words, and reached a little under 160k through that series. It kept me accountable. It excited me, and more than anything, motivated me. I know I mentioned this in DtWT #61, but thank you again for supporting that series so much, and for reading those posts. Genuinely, it means a lot to share my work with you, and to see my work improve as each post passes. I really don't know if I would’ve finished this novel without that series. It really kicked me into the gear of writing again, and gahhhh, thank you again.

FOSTERED #5 houses some of my best work, but most importantly, taught me so, so much, and so, here I bring to you, eight things finishing my eighth novel taught me.

1. I really care about writing.

This is my eighth book, and I can confidently say this is the only one in which I cared about the writing from start to finish. (Sounds strange, but I’ll explain.)While writing is a lot of things, at its core, writing is writing, and it took me eight books to really immerse myself in words and enjoy using them as tools to create something beautiful. I crave beautiful prose—a desire I didn’t really feel until writing this book. Making sentences read and sound like art is what I strive for now.

From books 1-6, writing wasn't my top priority. Telling a story no matter the quality was my priority, and while that isn't wrong, I think working with that mindset for so long wasn't becoming enough for me. I needed to re-evaluate, and really focusing on the craft of writing, rather than storytelling was what I needed. Of course, writing also includes good storytelling, but I feel, looking back on it, that until halfway around book seven, I didn't even think about the writing. I didn't edit it all that much, and most importantly, didn't care about writing. I liked words, yeah, and enjoyed creating the random nice sentence here and there, but I didn't view it as something I could use to create art. Now, good writing means a lot to me, and while I don't think my writing is perfect, and could use improvement, I’m so happy with the improvement I’ve made and the love of actual writing I’ve procured start-to-finish through it. :)

2. Sometimes acceptance takes time.

Book four of this series (my seventh novel) took me a very, very long time to accept, and even after I’d written it, I wasn’t confident in the route I’d taken it. I still had the same worries when writing book five and it took a whole lot of crying to realize that I’m very proud of how these last two books turned out. I’m an emotional person, but don't often show my emotions, so it’s sort of funny looking back how much I cried when writing this book, HA. I had a lot of worries about this novel, and my anxiety was eating me alive every time I wrote it. That was my issue in the beginning, but I found, the more time went on in writing this book, the more I accepted it, and the more I grew to really love it. So, if you’re in a position like me, and you’re seriously not feeling your book, sometimes time is the best remedy.

3. Moments like these are the ones you need to cherish.

When I was writing the last paragraph or so of this book, I got really emotional (lol how do I say that without sounding melodramatic). I didn’t cry or anything, but it felt like I was losing something. It was bittersweet. I’ve never felt this way before when I’ve finished a novel. It’s honestly usually been me moving onto the next book the same day or the next day, or feeling content.

But this… was something else. It was letting go of something I loved so much. I learned through this book that every time you write your book is time you should cherish. It’s something you spend a chunk of your life on. Moments happen around your book, and your book is there with you to experience them. This book in particular holds such a strong place in my heart because it gave me--as cheesy as it sounds lol rip--some new hope.

I learned to love the book I write when I write it even if it’s a pain. To cherish my time with this book, and to take my time. It hurt to finish it, honestly, I guess it’s particularly angsty for me to say I feel this grief for something that hasn't left me. I’m so glad it’s done, but it was like closing the door to a chapter I didn’t want to end. It had to end in that spot, rightfully so, but I wanted to hang onto it for as long as I could. I genuinely appreciate every moment I had to write this book, looking back. And I’m so happy I learned so much through it.

4. Taking your time isn’t a bad thing.

This sort of bounces off that last one, but this is a lesson I learned the hard way. My average drafting time before I wrote my seventh book was 3 months. This book, as I mentioned, took me eight months, and before then, the longest it’d taken me to write a novel was six months, and that was the hardest book I’d ever written. A big issue I had when I was writing book four in this series was that I felt as if taking three months longer than my average to draft was a telling sign that I was struggling with the book. I can pretty much say writing this novel was a bit of a breeze (it had its moments, but overall), and taking my time helped in terms of quality. A disclaimer, the time it takes to write a book varies from writer to writer, so this is completely personal, but I feel like taking a little longer writing this book realllyyyyyyy amped it up in the prose department.

Not to roast past me, but yooooo my older books lacked a lottttttttt of literary merit, like where is the good writing cuz I see none, lol. Not to say this book is amazing and the writing is excellent, but I do see a substantial improvement from my older stuff. So yes, initially when I started writing this book I was keen on finishing it in three months and rushing it so I could just be done and write something else. But as time went on, I realized that there is no rush. Even though I constantly feel at rush in my life (for mental health reasons I don't want to get into now, but if you’re curious, let me know!), I learned to take it slow. Enjoy the writing process, and create something at the end of the day, regardless of how long it takes.

5. I’m growing up.

A common question I posed while writing this book to myself and to my sister was well where did all the fun times go? Books 1-3 in this story are pretty juvenile—more banter between characters, ‘missions’, and so on, but as I aged, I found those things dried up and turned into just straight melancholy? (lol) I don’t have many if any fun times in book five, not in the sense I defined fun times as at least in the past. This series has spanned five books, and three years of my life, so I’ve done a lot of growing up since writing the first one. Its message and morals have gone from super obvious to pretty ambiguous, and the lines of morality have been blurred quite a bit (which I enjoy incorporating into my writing now). Right and wrong aren’t as easily spotted (and tbh this book is totallllyyyyy not suited for a YA audience lol content is hella graphic but), and a lot of it is rooted in the darkest corners of the human mind. I don't know if 13-year-old me would’ve expected these books to wind up in this path, but 16-year-old me is cool with where it is. I left a lot of me in these books, and pretty much grew up with them. It’s strange to have captured so much growth of myself personally in these novels, but this is already something I've learned to cherish.

6. I might actually be a true Pantser (but we’ll see)

So if any of you have been following this blog since the good ol’ 2015 days, it’s common knowledge that I made it clear I was a Pantser. I pantsed everyyyythiiiiingggg. In recent years, I’ve decided to start outlining projects I plan on publishing (for the most part, excluding ALANNIS) just so I can see what I’m getting into before I start. The FOSTERED series, since it’s all personal stuff, isn’t going to be published. I pants these books, but occasionally, and I found this happened a lot more with book five, I’ll write up ‘scene screenplays’ which are basically just the bones of a scene.

OH did I find out that writing with a guideline does noooottttt work for me. I’m not going to say anything here is permanent, but I pretty much realized my writing with my outline VS without one is drastically different... I’m not actually happy about this discovery to be honest, as I've already started outlining a couple projects, and the struggle was so real when writing with an outline for this novel. I really do hope this is not the case, and was just subjective to this book, but yes, this was a major lesson I picked up on when writing this particular book (and I reallllllllyyyyyyyy hope this changes)!

7. I like writing really sad, dark things

This is sorta morbid, I’m sorry, but I’m really into writing all things dark and upsetting and overall, enjoy a darker tone in my writing. I noticed, if I had any ‘happier’ scene, it’d take me a little longer to write/I had more trouble writing it. Don’t know what that says about me, but as someone who is sort of naturally on the darker side (edgy af the edge is real), it makes sense that I do enjoy the not so pleasant sides of the mind, and life. Or, I’m just really angsty, and angst (poetic angst in this book, I’ll say) is all you need. Love is all you need more like angst is all you need.

*angst*

I don't think there’s anything particularly wrong with enjoying writing darker things, and I noted that I often struggle writing joy. Honestly this is just sad, lol. (But I mean look at my boi Edgar, he wrote lots of dark things and I mean that's my dude now speaking of Edgar, the epigraph of this novel [which I’m including, even if the others don’t because epigraphs are aesthetic goals] is an Edgar quote and Edgar is my bro.)

8. I love this book so much, and if I could go back and tell myself I would have when I started it, I would.

I worried a lot when I started this novel. I worried it would fail, that it would get nowhere, that it would end unfinished, that I’d taken it the wrong route, that it would take too long to write, that I wouldn’t enjoy what I was writing, that the plot was dumb, that I focused on the wrong things, that the first chapter wasn’t strong enough, and a whole other laundry list of worries pretty common between writers. I really would go back to my past self and tell her not to worry. To tell her that just because she wrote this book and said she wouldn't, doesn't mean the product would be shitty. I’m genuinely proud of this novel, and I don't know if I’ve said that in a long time. I’m happy I wrote it. Happy I poured eight months of my life into it, and most importantly, am happy it taught me so many valuable lessons. I’m happy I got to connect with you on another level through it, and happy I carried it with me through this stage of my life. It saw my hatred, and my worst moments, my great moments, my worry, and every other emotion I also tried to share on here. Books are books, but this one felt like a friend. I’m sad to lose my friend now, but I’m thankful for the time we spent together. This got all sappy again, but yes. Thank you, book. I will miss writing you, lol.

So that’s it for today’s post. I had a blast writing this. It’s always a nice reflective period to go back in time and really point out what exactly I learned through this journey. I think this novel shaped me a lot as a writer, and I’m happy to move into other projects without it, because I feel like I know a lot more than I did before. Thank you for being on this journey with me, and for reading through everything that happened in these last eight months. I truly appreciate everything you give me, and couldn't express my thanks enough.

Aaaaand before I leave, a mega thanks to my dudes who continuously supported this journey: @sarahkelsiwrites, @sssoto and @shaelinwrites for listening, encouraging, and teaching me so many things about writing.

See you in the next one. :)

--Rachel

#Writing

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outlander-starz · 7 years

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Dear Outlander fans,

I’ve seen a lot of backlash towards Starz about airing the first episode for fans at the panel. So much backlash that EW even wrote an article just about the backlash. So I wanted to explain just how much goes into attending the convention and that panel. Just for some perspective.

Comic Con planning begins around now for next year for any diligent fan who is interested in attending next year, whether they were able to attend this year or not. Yesterday we got dinner before our flights home and were discussing buying badges and whether we should consider looking at AirBnBs for next year. More realistically, planning on going to the con begins closer to March when badges go on sale. People who attended last year have a chance at badges earlier than others in what’s called Pre-Registration. This works in the same waiting room everyone has to go through but you still are not guaranteed a badge. Open Registration is for anyone else with a registered Member ID, where you wait in a waiting room online and everything is randomized. When the sale opens, it is completely random who gets through and who doesn’t. It is a stroke of luck if you get through and are able to purchase the badges you want for yourself and/or for up to 2 friends. This year I was hiking in a valley between a glacier and a volcano and lost service right while I was in the waiting room on my phone. It wasn’t until a few hours later that I gained service and learned my friend got through and bought me a 4-day pass. A stroke of fucking luck.

The cost of a 4-day badge: $240

If there’s something specific you want to see, you have to buy all the days you can, because you won’t know the Comic Con schedule until 2 weeks before the convention. The badges sell out so fast that it’s possible you may only get a Thursday or Sunday badge when what you wanted to see the most is on Friday. It’s a roll of the dice. You just never know. So there goes $240. $280 if you get preview night (lucky duck). Bye bye money.

Now there’s flights and hotels. Flights from the east coast cost around $500 on average. You have to take at least Thursday and Friday off work which costs you either a chunk of your paycheck or vacation days. Even if you don’t get badges, you can still decide to go to the con and just attend things off-site, but, again, this Outlander experience is almost entirely within the convention center requiring a badge (aside from the shirtless, kilted men street team who were going around downtown SD).

The hotel lottery is nicknamed Hotelpocalypse. It’s honestly almost worse that trying to get a badge. It is also randomized and can leave you with either nowhere to stay or with you staying out in Mission Valley which is a 30 min bus ride away. The hotel shuttles to and from the convention center are free but still very limiting if you want to do things very early in the morning/late at night. Wherever you’re staying, it’s gonna cost you around $300/night on average. Even splitting that with roommates (if you can find them and if you can get a 2 double bed room), it comes out to costing a lot of money just for a bed to sleep in. And you don’t do a lot of sleeping when you’re at Comic Con.

Now before we get to the panel let’s start with the Starz booth. It was the printshop. It was massive and beautiful and an exact replica of the Printshop set down to the wall color. They spent lots of money to get it perfect and even shipped out the A. Malcolm sign and the bell on the door, etc so it is exact. Now this booth, even on preview night, which is a much smaller crowd than any of the other days, had an insane line. One of my roommates went to the booth multiple times over the course of the weekend and was unable to get into the line because it was either capped or because you needed a ‘ticket’. At the booth, you wait in line in order to walk through, take pictures, and draw from a bag to see what piece of swag you won (a flask, a shirt, etc.) and out of another bag to see if you won an autograph ticket. Because they didn’t scan badges when you went through the booth, people took advantage of this and went through the booth dozens of times until they got an autograph ticket. And because of people cheating the system, they eventually changed it so you needed to find a certain security guard, suck up to him and do embarrassing things, be nice to him, go up to him a couple dozen times so he recognized your face, and then he would give you a blue ticket to let you go through the booth. What that security guard did, abusing his position, is deplorable, but the fans who cheated the system causing this method to be put in place are also awful. This is why we can’t have nice things.

The panel was at the end of the day on Friday in Ballroom 20, and the EW panel Richard was on was also in Ballroom 20 earlier in the afternoon. So, many many Outlander fans were in that room from the very start of the day. Even though they did not need to camp overnight to get in, some did. Some literally slept on the ground at the marina to get into this room. We got in line at 5am and they don’t let you inside until 6:30/7am where you basically just have to wait in a different location indoors. They don’t let you even into the room til 9am. So that’s 4+ hours of sitting or standing around, not to mention the fact that you have to now wait 8 hours until the actual Outlander panel. Every time I stood up from my seat to stretch my back, I was asked if I was leaving. Every time one of us left our seat to use the bathroom we were asked if that seat was taken. People were vultures, always looking for a better seat, going around asking anyone in a close seat how long they were staying in the room that day, asking to take people’s seats after they left from x panel, literally reserving their seats with certain people hours in advance. Just to get closer to the cast, to the front. Tbh it was gross and frustrating. People were being extremely rude and entitled from the start. Women would insert themselves into my conversations that 1. I did not ask them to be a part of and 2. was not talking about Outlander. It was a very difficult atmosphere to be around and tolerate. I was ADA this year and was in extreme discomfort and pain from the first day at the con onwards and this only made things more difficult and frustrating and uncomfortable because I felt like I wasn’t able to move from my seat.

But you know what, I was there for a reason. I wanted to see Richard, I wanted to see almost all the panels in Ballroom 20 to begin with, and I wanted to end my day with seeing this cast interact. We were all there from 6am or earlier for Outlander. We put in the time and money and effort into being here for this. We did this just for the panel. And Starz rewarded us even further with a viewing of the first episode.

This is what Comic Con is about.

They did this at the same time in Hall H with Defenders. Fuckin MARVEL did this on the same day at the same time. I didn’t see anyone whining about how unfair it was. They giveaway swag and they show us exclusive footage because of how much work we put into getting there. I camped out for Hall H for over 24 hours and I got to see the Infinity War trailer that wasn’t released to the public after, but a majority of things they showed us, even at the ever exclusive Hall H, were released to the public after the panel was over. But Comic Con is about exclusives, it’s about rewarding the fans, it’s about the studios giving back to us a few minutes of footage no one outside that room gets to see until a few weeks or months later. That’s what it’s about.

So you weren’t at Comic Con. So you didn’t get to see the episode. You’ve already known you weren’t going to see the episode until September 10th. So now you’re mad that 4000 people got to before you? It’s not like you have to wait any longer than previously told. Starz still released the entire panel the day after it happened. Every Starz Outlander premiere that has happened, there have been problems - people without tickets getting in ahead of people who had them, people with tickets not getting in at all, holding all the premieres in New York instead of LA or London or Scotland. There’s always obstacles and there’s always people who are going to miss out, but this was a surprise for the SDCC fans. It was a surprise and a reward for those of us who spent so much time and money to be there.

For reference, Starz has done this previously with Ash vs. Evil Dead at NYCC. Marvel Netflix has done it with both Jessica Jones and now Defenders. I don’t ever remember hearing or seeing backlash about that. Hell, Starz didn’t even released the episode to the press yet (except very large outlets like EW, ET, etc), and I don’t see them complaining.

Nothing has changed about having to wait until September 10th for the premiere. It’s still at the same day and time. It’s still going to happen. And now you know the episode is going to be great. So you should be excited. Voyager is coming to life and so far it looks amazing.

#outlander fandom #sdcc17 #get hype not mad #outlander #long post for ts

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drillbeeautomaton · 7 years

Text

rules: answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

tagged by @writerofberk ((thank you darling <33))

LAST:

drink: technically water, but i also had a capri-sun very recently

phone call: i think it was my aunt??

text message: my dad

song you listened to: the finale song of pirates of penzance

time you cried: i cannot recall, tbh

HAVE YOU:

dated someone twice: no, haven’t dated anyone yet

kissed someone and regretted it: haven’t kissed anyone yet

been cheated on: nope

lost someone special: yes

been depressed: no, i don’t think so

gotten drunk and thrown up: no, and i don’t think i ever will

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

black, green, red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

made new friends: yeah, i’m pretty sure!

fallen out of love: no

laughed until you cried: i don’t think so, i can’t rlly remember

found out someone was talking about you: no

found out who your friends are: i.. don’t understand this question ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

kissed someone on your facebook list: honey, i don’t have facebook

GENERAL:

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i. don’t. have. facebook.

do you have any pets: yes!! two cats and a bunny :D

do you want to change your name: nope

what did you do for your last birthday: spent time w/family and opened presents. well, technically nothing on my actual birthday, but that’s what we did to celebrate the sunday after.

what time do you wake up: around five thirty or six on school days, and around nine normally

what were you doing at midnight last night: i can’t remember if i was sleeping or listening to the TaZ podcast

name something you can’t wait for: to finish a few drawings i’ve been working on, and perform the play my school’s been rehearsing!

when was the last time you saw your mom: like, half an hour ago

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i didn’t take so many things so hard when i know i shouldn’t. i’m working on it though, so that’s nice.

what are you listening to right now: my laundry machine is being all clanky and i’m watching youtube

have you ever talked to a person named tom: i've talked to someone named thomas, but i don’t think that counts

something that is getting on your nerves: umm, not really anything at the moment

most visited website: either this, discord, or Ao3

moles: one on my left cheek, and one largish one on my left arm. there are lotsa small ones everywhere

marks: scars on my arms that i can’t rlly remember getting, though it was probably from cats, and two burn scars on my left hand. there’s also a reeaaaally hard to see scar on my chin.

childhood dream: i wanted to be a zookeeper so i could play with tigers and take naps with them.

hair color: kinda dirty blonde?

long or short hair: long! it’s just above the small of my back

do you have a crush on someone: not right now, i’ve only had one real crush

what do you like about yourself: i looove my hair. and my singing voice is nice, i think.

piercings: just ear piercings! i don’t rlly want any others

blood type: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

nicknames: jess, drill, honeybee, J, and jessie

relationship status: single

zodiac: pisces

pronouns: she/her

favorite tv show: over the garden wall, my hero academia, gravity falls, psych, and miraculous ladybug

right or left-handed: right!

surgeries: none

hair dyed in different color: nope!

sport: when i was younger i was an awesome soccer goalie. not so much now, but it’s still a cool sport. i like playing mini-golf, if that counts

vacation: ummm, i have no clue. im gonna assume this means where/what i want to do for a vacation? just take me somewhere that’s nice and has rlly good wifi, i don’t know.

pair of trainers: ???

MORE GENERAL:

eating: nothing at the moment, i just finished a bowl of cheeze-its tho

drinking: water

i’m about to: go on discord and catch up on stuff

want: food, cause it’s 8:09pm and we haven’t had dinner yet

get married: yes! i’d like to get married someday :D

career: currently unemployed

hugs or kisses: huuugs <333 tho kisses are nice too

lips or eyes: eyes for sure!

shorter or taller: i think i’m average? tall compared to some, and short compared to others

older or younger: younger

nice arms or nice stomach: stomach, mine is all gross and bleh i’d love a nice stomach

sensitive or loud: sensitive..? i guess?

hook-up or relationship: r e l a t i o n s h i p please

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant most of the time i think? i don’t really cause trouble

HAVE YOU EVER:

kissed a stranger: no, never kissed someone period

drank hard liquor: nope

lost glasses/contact lenses: yeesssss, but i found them soon enough

turned someone down: i don’t know, i don’t think i have. if i did, it twas unknowingly

sex on the first date: no, of course not. im not about that

broken someone’s heart: i rlly hope i haven’t D:

had your heart broken: no, not really. i had a crush, but it ended more cause i grew out of it, than him doing something to hurt me

been arrested: nope

cried when someone died: well, i don’t really cry when people die and i feel kinda bad about it. i kinda just... think about it in shock till it processes and i can let it go. but i haven’t really lost someone who was close enough to me for me to cry about, i guess

fallen for a friend: ye, when i was a teeeeny tiny little girl and thought he was the cutest thing in the world. i freaking wrote him a love letter, i rlly hope he just destroyed it tbh, it was awkward

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

yourself: mostly yes, sometimes when i’m in that mood no

miracles: yeah

love at first sight: no, love takes time

santa claus: when i was younger, absolutely, but now not so much

kiss on the first date: ehhhhh it depends

OTHER:

current best friend: a girl named chloe, she’s been my best friend since kindergarten <333

eye color: green with some brown! some days they’re more one than the other

favorite movie: hnnnnnnnnnn i have to say spiderman: homecoming. i love my boy somuch <3333

i tag @razorkillrabbits @theresadunn @aliciarosefantasy @chiquitagoosita i love y’all <33 ((remember you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!!))

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troop2017 · 5 years

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It took a while for me to be persuaded to head out to Spain before Christmas and therefore to spend Christmas away from home, but once persuaded I did my best to throw myself into the preparations!

We knew where we were going to be – it’s necessary to make sure you book somewhere if you’re intending to spend christmas/new year touring in Spain; just to make sure. So we had booked our pitch at Cabopino (as seen on Channel 5’s Bargain Loving Brits in the Sun – and yes we are friends with one of the couples featured, Roger and Jill). This meant paying a deposit of 60Euros and losing it if (or rather when) we didn’t stay for the full 3 months. However, we still averaged only 15.98Euros per night so we were perfectly happy.

We arrived on site on 6th December, caught up with friends who were already there (Steve & Denise and Jill & Roger), and quickly set about meeting new friends at the various events that you just can’t help joining in – such as Friday Happy Hour in Jorges Bar and live music in Andy’s Beach Bar on a Sunday afternoon.

Some of these new friends featured in our christmas and new year plans (Jim & his dog, Corrie; Alan & Tracy and Joe & Gayle).

We already knew that we were spending christmas with Steve and Denise (who we met at Cabopino back in 2017) together with Denise’s daughter Marie and her boyfriend (also Steve) and their other friends Sue & Pete (and Pete’s brother, John). So we were already catering for 9 between 3 of us (me, Denise and Sue)! But when we met Alan & Tracy who had just arrived and were on their 1st trip abroad with their caravan, we couldn’t leave them to be on their own on Christmas Day. Then when we found out that Jim didn’t have anything arranged for Christmas Day we couldn’t allow that either – so now we were 12…!

We all put some money in the kitty and, even if I do say so myself, we produced quite the feast between us 🙂 We had the works! Turkey, beef, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy and christmas pudding (provided by Denise & Steve), ham, yorkshire puds, pigs in blankets, carrots, peas, sprouts, roasted parsnips (& carrots) & 2 homemade cheesecakes (provided by me) and red cabbage, cauliflower cheese & roast potatoes (provided by Sue). And we even had crackers (courtesy of Denise 🙂 )

My Cracker challenge was to take as many selfies with my christmas dinner as possible..!!

Alan, Tracy & Calv

Me and Marie

We set up a couple of tables and requisitioned several chairs in addition to our own and all fitted nicely onto Steve & Denise’s pitch (which was immediately behind ours. Calv had ‘made’ a gate between the pitches so it was fairly easy to make our way from the van to the table (we had steps beside the 2 foot wall that we had to negotiate).

All cramming ourselves around the tables it wasn’t that much different to having a houseful at home tbh! Unfortunately the sun didn’t really shine, but it wasn’t cold and we had a lovely time – it was, almost, like christmas at home!

When it got too cold we were down to 9 of us, so we were able to spend the evening in our van (we even all managed to sit down). We got out the Chase card game and managed to get through it – taking it all a little more seriously after, young, Steve the Quizmaster, told us that ‘We could either play it properly, or not at all!!’ We gave in as he had a bad hip and was on crutches 🙂

So we then had a week to get over our christmas excesses (or rather add to them…) and prepare for New Year’s Eve. We eventually decided that we would host at our van, but outside if possible. Although the days are warm at this time of year in Spain the evenings really aren’t!

We set up with a couple of windbreakers, the table, some chairs, lights and lanterns. We were joined by Steve, Denise, Marie & Steve, Alan (Tracy wasn’t feeling well) and Jim. As it got colder I brought out all our woolly hats and gloves (which for some reason we have in abundance in the van – they came in very useful) and we just basically drank (6 bottles of champagne were lying on the floor in the morning – the boys weren’t drinking champagne….), sang, quizzed (with the same quizmaster..) and danced (my fitbit recorded me having 19 minutes of aerobic activity at 2am on New Year’s Day!) the night and the early hours away 🙂 We even managed to get in ‘the game’, which we play as a family every year (we managed this on Christmas Day as well 🙂 )

Before midnight we were joined by Joe & Gayle who had been over to Alberts to celebrate, but left early as their friends wanted to. I do remember the alarm on everybody’s faces when it looked like I might try to do the ‘Dirty Dancing’ lift – to be fair Calv didn’t look scared even though I was running full tilt at him 🙂

Steve & Denise before it got too cold on New Years Eve

The woolly hats are out! NYE 2018

Alan on NYE

The end of the ‘evening’ NYE 2018 (3.20am 1.1.2019)

We turned the music off at the same time as the camp bar (2am) but the night eventually ended at 3.20am.. I must admit that I thought we were quiet after 2am, but apparently not.. Sorry (but it’s 1 night a year tbf)

In the morning whilst Calv remained comatose I started the clean-up, accompanied by ‘mornings’ and massive grins from our fellow campers. It was definitely a night to remember!!

The morning after the night before – 1.1.2019

But our new experiences weren’t yet over. There is a tradition at Cabopino beach of a mass swim on New Year’s Day. Now you might think that this is a bit of a cop out being in Spain, but I promise you the water is not warm. In fact it’s pretty cold!!

Down on the beach for the off at midday, we found cooking stations set up providing bacon butties and sausage sandwiches together with drinks etc. This is all done by a group of residents and they won’t take any money for it – all they ask is that once you know about it you bring some supplies down so that the food will go further. Wonderful.

There were hundreds of people thronged on the beach, most of them there to watch but probably about 60-70 of us went in. You had to just keep running and get in as soon as possible or it would never happen – but once in it was really lovely 🙂 I was in treading water with a group of ladies (including Hannah from Cornwall) when someone notified us quite calmly that there was a jellyfish within feet of us – that was my cue to get out!

New Years Day 2019 – Cabopino Sea Dip

New Years Day 2019 – Swimming at Cabopino Beach

Cabopino on New Years Day 2019

I’m a little disappointed that I won’t be there to do this again next year 😦 Maybe in a few year’s time though?!

Christmas and New Year in a Motorhome in the sun (sort of…!) It took a while for me to be persuaded to head out to Spain before Christmas and therefore to spend Christmas away from home, but once persuaded I did my best to throw myself into the preparations!

#Abroad #Bargain Loving Brits in the Sun #cabopino #Cabopino Playa #camping community #christmas #Christmas in the sun #Christmas lunch #Costa del Sol #home is where you park it #motorhomelife #New Year #New Year Party #New Years Day sea swim #spain #travel #Vanlife #Wintersun

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sugasgrowl · 7 years

Text

Saturdays (pt 1)

Genre: Fluff/Smut (in pt 2)

Member: Jungkook

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4484

Summary: After three months of loneliness and insecurities while on tour, Jungkook comes home to you.

Part 2

This is just pure fluff tbh. But Part 2 will much more explicit (and will be posted within the next two or three days at most). Enjoy!

You weren’t sure exactly how long you’d been sitting on the window seat with your knees pulled into your chest, the cool wall leaching all the warmth from your spine through the thick material of your hoodie. All day you’d been lounging in the comfort of your apartment, basking in the calming serenity of the pouring rain pattering against the wide window. The view of the Seoul skyline piercing the gray swirling clouds above was beautiful in the most hazy and sleepy way, almost as if the entirety of South Korea had just woken up from a Saturday-afternoon nap and hadn’t yet wiped the sleep from its eyes.

Saturdays were one of your favorite days, mainly because you didn’t have to worry about your usual responsibilities of college and work. You preferred to spend most of your Saturdays at home to recharge before having to finish up any assignments you’d been procrastinating over on Sunday, and you often found yourself devoting Saturdays to pampering yourself. Eating whatever you wanted, messily slathering on a face mask, taking a long steaming bath to relax your tense muscles, the works. At that point in the day, you’d already cooked yourself chocolate chip pancakes (You woke up around 11:30am, but who’s to say pancakes have to be reserved solely for breakfast time?) while your favorite moisturizing mask was caked on your skin. You stuffed the fluffy, sweet deliciousness in your face ravenously as you binge-watched YouTube videos, the only worry you had being that you may not have enough syrup.

Now you sat, four hours later, curled up by the window, still sucked into the void that is YouTube and enjoying the melancholy rainfall that was baptizing the streets of Seoul.

As much as you loved Saturdays, you couldn’t help but feel sad that you’d spent so many without your boyfriend around to participate in the self-care. The two of you had made it a tradition to spend Saturdays together and bond over cartoons and unhealthy snacks. Even though he basically lived with you when he wasn’t forced to stay at the dorms or travel for a tour, Jungkook was insistent on coming over and talking about each of your weeks through mouthfuls of pizza.

You heaved a sigh at the slight sinking feeling in your chest at remembering the last Saturday Jungkook had been home. The two of you had both gotten a little too tipsy (aka: you were both piss drunk) on cheap wine and ended up singing at the top of your lungs and clumsily dancing around the apartment to the Friends opening credits, the obnoxiously loud volume of the TV and your booming laughter causing your neighbor to complain the next morning. You were both ridiculously hungover the next day, and poor Kookie had a six hour dance practice starting at one in the afternoon. The stubborn motherfucker insisted that he was fine, dammit, and he would just go to practice and suffer through “like a man”. The memory of Namjoon calling you to tell you that Jungkook had puked all over the practice room floor in the middle of rehearsal brought a small smile to your face. God, he’s such an idiot.

You groaned as you raised your arms above your head in a stretch, all the joints in your body seeming to snap at once. At least he’s coming home today.

You unlocked your phone and reread the last messages you’d gotten from him.

[Jungkook] 6:03am: I’m getting on the plane. I’ll be home with you soon. I love you

[You] 11:32am: Be safe! I love you too

[Jungkook] 11:41am: Well good morning

[Jungkook] 11:42am: I guess I’m glad nothing bad happened to me. You would’ve just slept right on through it.

[You] 11:42am: To be honest, I’m a bit disappointed. I was expecting you and Taehyung to find a way to crash the plane by now.

[Jungkook] 11:45am: Lmao sorry to disappoint but Tae is sitting with Jimin instead this time

[You] 11:45am: Did you make a scene

[You] 11:46am: Did you #expose them for the cheating boyfriends that they are

[You] 11:46am: Did #Nochu come thru

[Jungkook] 11:48am: Of course. My emotional speech about their betrayals made the stewardess and several passengers cry.

[You] 11:51am: Where is this man’s Oscar

You didn’t hear from him again until an hour ago, and you could practically feel his excitement buzzing through the phone grasped in your hands.

[Jungkook] 3:30pm: We’re about to land!

[Jungkook] 4:17pm: We’re waiting for our luggage!!

[Jungkook] 4:39pm: Jimin’s bag is lost

[Jungkook] 4:56pm: God this is taking forever

[Jungkook] 4:59pm: I just asked if we could leave Jimin behind but they said no

[Jungkook] 5:11pm: We’re leaving the airport!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll be home soon!!!!!!!

The last message made you smile so big it made your cheeks hurt. He was so excited to be coming home--and you were so excited for him to rest, if even for a short while. You knew that he was so much more exhausted than he would ever admit. Jungkook loved his job more than anything, but he was still human. Well, you debated that fact on occasion. The boy had a tendency to go and go and go until he was half dead, but even then, the average person would have already been put in a padded room from the amount of stress he faced on the daily.

The past three months had been rough without him--it only being the second time Jungkook had ever had to leave you on tour with Bangtan--but aside from feeling lonely at night after having a particularly rough day, you were handling yourself amazingly well and even gave your boyfriend the space that you felt that he wanted during the stress of touring. Jungkook, on the other hand…

It wasn’t that he wasn’t handling it well. It was more like he just missed you so damn much that he didn’t know what to do with himself. While the touring process was new to you, you had easily adapted because that was just what had to be done and it was all you'd ever known. The first time that Jungkook had to leave for a tour, you had merely been on a few extremely casual dates, so there were really no huge emotional investments on either side yet. You’d formed a closer bond over time by sending texts and links to ridiculous YouTube videos back and forth--Jungkook’s sense of humor more often than not making you snort out loud in the middle of your lectures, the sudden outbursts forcing you to cover it up by pretending to go into a coughing fit. After the first tour, loving Jungkook through a pixelated screen had just become half of your relationship, and you'd both accepted that. But that didn't mean it was easy.

You knew Jungkook wasn’t used to having someone to miss while he was away aside from his family, and the unfamiliar emptiness in his arms where you would normally be made him feel exposed and vulnerable--like he was going into battle without his most important and protective armor. The insecurities plagued him, a swirling mass of what ifs echoing against the interior of his skull. There were many nights where you would be roughly yanked out of sleep, your ringtone blaring so loud that you would scramble to find your phone amidst the tangle of sheets and the throw of darkness--your heart beating so hard in your chest that it felt like it was going to burst through your ribs and flop into bed beside you, only to find that it was merely Jungkook needing to hear your voice.

The last night that he had called in such a state was a week ago, the conversation still fresh on your mind as you waited for him to come home from the airport, your eyes trailing after a couple of silvery raindrops that rolled down the windowpanes in front of you.

“Hello?” That night you answered on the sixth ring with a tongue thick with sleep and eyes still unable to fully open.

“Baby?” Jungkook’s voice was almost always strained when he called you like this, as if he was trying his hardest to keep from showing just how vulnerable and needy he was--although you always knew. That time in particular, the pet name tumbled past his lips in a hurried rush.

“Hey, Jungkookie,” you smiled as you rubbed your eyes. He hesitated, the four seconds worth of grainy silence confirming your suspicions of him calling out of feeling alone in a crowd of six. “Bad day?”

He sighed lowly, and you could practically see him raising his thumb to his lips to nervously gnaw on the ragged cuticle. You could just faintly make out the sound of a rustling somewhere on the other end of the line, and you knew he was bouncing his leg, the nervous energy desperately trying to escape.

“Sort of...” he trailed off, not wanting to voice his actual feelings, god forbid, but you always patiently waited in silence until he felt ready to talk. “I really miss you.”

“I miss you too, more than you know,” even with thousands of miles between the two of you, the sounds of the wheels turning in his head were nearly audible as he tried to think of how to word his burdens.

“Talk to me, boy…” You sang the phrase to the tune of Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake as out of tune and off pitch as you could, your voice that was still gravelly with sleep only adding to the effect. Anything to make Jungkook smile.

You often used this trick to get him to spill whatever was bothering him, and more often than not, it would illicit an airy chuckle to escape from him and begin to thaw the anxiety that had begun icing over his stomach. But that time all you got was a weak puff of air, a sorry excuse for a laugh.

He must really be upset, you thought.

After a moment, he spoke.

“You don’t….regret being with me, do you?” his voice was quiet, and even through the phone you could see his eyes timidly glued to his lap as he picked at the frayed holes in his jeans. “I mean...do you resent that I have to leave you for so long? Do you wish that you were with someone...normal?”

You blinked in confusion.

“What?” your voice hitched up in surprise.

“Never mind. Forget I called,” he babbled, “I shouldn’t have woken you up. I mean, it’s what? Almost four in--”

“Jeon Jungkook, hush,” you firmly interrupted, causing nervous rambling to die in his throat. “Why would you ask me that?”

He paused.

“Um…” the humiliated blush that was burning his cheeks was nearly audible.

“I….” he began, but the words dissolved on his tongue like a bitter cotton candy. He let out a huff of frustration.

“I’m scared,” a tone of hopelessness tinged with shame dripped from his lilting voice. “I love you so much, and I’m scared that you’re going to realize that this? What we have? Isn’t what you deserve.”

Your brow furrowed as you processed his words. How could he be so dumb sometimes? Couldn’t he tell that you were madly in love with him? That he was your best friend, and you could never give him up for anything? You been together for almost a year, shouldn’t he know that by now?

“Jungkook--”

“I’m the man, I‘m supposed to be reassuring you! And instead I’m the one calling you all the time because I miss you so much that I can’t focus on anything. You don’t ever call me like this. I’m the one calling you in the middle of the night because I’m feeling real anxiety for the first time in my life over the thought of losing you. And I’m a fucking singer!” his voice was growing louder as he let his stress out into the light, and his bouncy Busan accent peaked through the more worked up he got.

“I get followed by crazy fans and have hate thrown at me every day, and yet the only thing that really cuts me deep is the thought of not getting to hear you do Justin Timberlake an injustice over the phone anymore.”

The sentiment was meant to be joking, because he didn’t like talking about his feelings nine times out of ten--it made him feel guilty for not being content with his job and his life all the time. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

He paused for a moment to catch his breath, and that was when you jumped in.

“Jungkook,” you softly said, “you do call me when you’re upset. I can always tell the difference between a call like one of these and a normal phone call to check in. But have you failed to notice that I always answer these urgent phone calls?”

He didn’t answer, so you continued.

“I’m scared, too. I’m terrified you’re going to find a much hotter, more talented, idol girlfriend to love. But the reason I don’t call you like this very often is because for one thing, I hardly ever know where the hell you are. For all I know, you’re back in Seoul chilling in the dorms right now,” Jungkook let out a single grunt of a chuckle.

“And I also don’t call you freaking out because right around the time when I start to feel lonely or sad, you end up calling me. I may not know where you are in the world, but you’ll always know where I am. I’m not going anywhere.”

There were a few beats of warm silence as your reassuring words released the tension in Jungkook’s shoulders and loosened the uneasy knot pulled lethally tight in his chest.

“So you don’t want someone normal?” the smile in his voice was evident, but you could still make out a hint of uncertainty in his tone.

“Kookie, if I wanted someone normal, I wouldn’t have chosen you to begin with, you dumbass,” a grin broke out across your face as the sound of Jungkook’s musical laughter floated back to your ears. The mental image of him throwing his head back with his eyes scrunched tight with a genuine smile made you swoon.

“Promise?” he giggled.

“I promise, okay? You being famous isn’t what makes you abnormal to me. It’s your inherent dorkiness and embarrassing outbursts,” you teased.

“Don’t act like you don’t contribute,” he sassed.

“You love it.”

“I really, really do.”

At the end of the phone call, you could tell he felt better. It was like his burden dissipating also lifted one from your own shoulders, as if you had cleared up an insecurity you didn’t even know you had.

Before you, Jungkook had never loved someone at all, period, and now that he was madly in love with you, he felt as if he wasn’t doing enough. He hated not being able to take you on dates, real dates, where you could both go out without worrying if he would be followed by fans or paparazzi. He hated that he couldn't hold you every night and feel your icy toes shove themselves under his thighs, the biting cold nearly making him jump out of his skin every time. He hated never getting to post the cute pictures that he would take of you while you slept, or the horrendous selfies you would send him as you sat in class while he was at rehearsal. He wanted to shout how much he loved you from the rooftops, loud enough for all of both North and South Korea to hear. But the job that he loved so much prevented that.

He hated those things, but god, did he love you.

The thought that after all that time, you would finally be able to see him, and hold him, and do all the things you were able to do with him three months prior made you feel as if your body weighed twenty pounds lighter. Loneliness was a much heavier burden than you realized.

The sound of keys jingling and sliding into the lock made your head automatically whip towards the long awaited noise. For whatever reason, be it the suddenness of the noise while you were so deep in thought or the fact that your Jungkook was finally home, your heart fluttered inside your chest. On instinct, you rose to your feet and stood with your eyes glued to the entrance to your apartment. He’s home.

When the door finally swung open after what felt like an eternity of him fumbling with the knob that always seemed to stick, Jeon Jungkook stood before you for the first time in three months.

His hair was a dishevelled mess, the caramel blond and faded pink stripes sticking up in every which way in wispy tendrils around his brow that had collected the brunt of the rain on the way to your apartment. If you hadn’t been so stunned, you would have laughed at the very obvious line where his hat had protected the crown of his head from getting wet, leaving the top of his hair to be dry and fluffy--a stark contrast to the ends of his locks that were dripping wet and darkened with the freezing rain. Jungkook’s soaked beanie was clutched so tightly in his fist that his knuckles were white and little streams of water were dripping down his fingers and onto the floor from the fabric being wrung so extremely. His black hoodie was bunched up over one of his hips, as if he hadn’t bothered to pull it down or fix it in it any way when he stepped off the subway. The fabric was significantly darker over the broad expanse of his shoulders and chest where the rain had initially struck him, making it hopelessly cling to his leanly muscled frame.

Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes raked over his body and landed on his face. Without a stitch of makeup on his skin to hinder your view, you were able to see every little detail on him--even from across the room. The wind must have been much chillier than you thought, because his nose and cheeks were bright pink from the abuse of the nipping temperatures. All of his freckles and dark circles and scars were right in front of you, and they were so goddamn gorgeous that it made a lump form in your throat. He was so real. So real and so solid and so very, very beautiful. It was as if his image was enhanced and hyper-focused after being without him for so long.

The expression of disbelief written on your face must have been amusing, because Jungkook’s red, chill-swollen lips quirked themselves into a bright grin.

“I’m home,” he softly said, his smile growing even wider--the rise of his cheeks making his sparkling eyes disappear into slits that sat on the top of his cheekbones and nearly all thirty-two of his teeth flash in your direction.

The broken silence snapped you out of your trance, and you quickly found yourself shuffling across the room towards your boyfriend while muttering an ecstatic mantra of “You’re home, you’re home, you’re home, you’re home!” with a beaming smile on your face. He met you halfway, his long strides carrying him to you in a matter of three steps. You threw your arms around his neck and nestled your frame into his torso. Muscled arms wound themselves around your waist--one firmly snaking around the circumference of your lower back and the other trailing up your spine to gently grip at the curve of your shoulder--as he mumbled an incoherent string of words declaring just how much he missed you, his voice sounding an awful lot like he was trying not to cry.

“I missed you too,” your fingers wound themselves into his hair as you felt a sting behind your eyes. “I missed you so incredibly much, Jungkook.”

A startled gasp flew past your lips when the tip of Jungkook’s frigidly cold nose nuzzled itself into the warmth of your neck.

“Jesus,” you attempted to squirm away from the way from the way he was using you to thaw himself, but he simply pulled you tighter into his body.

“You’re freezing! Why didn’t you wear a coat, Jungkook? You’re going to get sick, you idiot!” you half laughed and half scolded, the smile on your face causing a single happy tear to squeeze from your eye.

His cheeks rose devilishly in the crook of your neck. He’d missed your playful insults so much.

“I was so excited to see you that I forgot to grab one from the dorm when I dropped off my suitcase,” his words were muffled by the fabric of your sweatshirt.

His dripping wet clothes were beginning to soak into your own and make you shiver. You placed your palms on both of his cheeks and pulled him back to get a better look at him up close--and partially to get his icicle of a nose the hell away from your flesh. Your eyes locked with his, the nearly-black irises seeming to place gentle kisses on every inch of your face as he surveyed your features. His mouth dropped open in a look of false and exaggerated surprise, his doe eyes twinkling like a thousand galaxies.

“Are you crying, (Y/N)?” he chided.

You let out a laugh poked his cheek.

“Are you? You’re looking a bit waterlogged.”

“What?” his brows raised, feigning innocence.

“This?” he gestured to his soaked lashes. “No, no. It’s not crying if the tears never fall, baby.”

You giggled and pulled his face closer to yours, the scent of his favorite cologne washing over you in the close proximity. Your lips brushed against his in a teasing kiss, the feeling of his chilled lips lightly grazing yours sending chills down your spine.

“God, you’re so warm,” he whispered, awestruck, his breath fanning over your face.

Jungkook’s hand ran itself painstakingly slow up your arm and the side of your neck, his icy fingertips trailing against your skin so lightly that goosebumps erupted across the expanse of your exposed flesh. Long fingers knotted themselves in the hair at the back of your neck to pull you into a deeper kiss, and the way his fingernails lightly grazed your scalp had your breath catching in your throat. The kiss was slow and languid, everything seeming to be moving at half its normal speed. With each move he made, icy droplets would drip from the ends of Jungkook’s hair and splatter faintly on your skin. Every brush of his lips and unhurried swipe of his tongue against yours was purposeful. Each shaky breath and quiet sigh was a message, a secret code that you’d cracked months and months before--every tender nibble on your lower lip and stroke of his swollen lips against your jaw a declaration of how much he loved you, punctuated with gentle swipes of his thumb against your cheekbone.

The way Jungkook was not only suddenly present in your life again, but also painting your lips with his most intimate and passionate kisses was making you weak in the knees. After all the months of being apart, you finally had him back in your arms. The crushing feeling of love for him was so overwhelming that your head started to spin. You brought your hand up to rest against his cheek and pulled away from the kiss ever so slightly--just enough to speak.

“I missed you,” you rested your forehead against his and looked into his eyes, your mouth beginning to water at the sight of his flushed cheeks and blown out pupils.

“I missed you so much. God, every single day it was like I was walking around in a daze,” you gave him a lingering peck before continuing. “I love you so much, Jungkook. I don’t think you realize how much.”

You began peppering kisses along his jaw, gentle at first--pulling a satisfied hum from him that quickly turned into a low moan when you switched to leaving burning open mouthed kisses that seared the still freezing skin on his neck. The contrast of your warm mouth and his cold skin was so drastic that it felt almost painful, his nerve endings having long forgotten what warmth was in the mile long walk from the subway to your apartment.

You pulled back to make eye contact with him and make sure that he was listening to what you were saying. He stared back at you with hooded eyes, doing his best to actually process your words.

“I’m sorry if I seemed distant while you were away. I just figured you would want some space to focus on work,” you brought your lips back to his, kissing the top and then the bottom before slowly tracing his lower lip with your tongue. His hands gripped your hips in an attempt to keep from losing focus on your loving words.

“I let the space change from an inch to a mile, and you felt insecure in our relationship because of that. Am I correct?”

Jungkook’s golden cheeks flushed a deep russet, his eyes leaving yours to wander aimlessly before dropping to the floor. He nodded, embarrassment evident on his face. He hated admitting when he was struggling. He wasn’t supposed to struggle, he was the golden maknae.

You smiled fondly at him before intertwining your fingers with his and raising the tangle of warm and cold digits to brush your lips across his knuckles.

“Let me make it up to you,” you slyly said.

Jungkook’s eyes snapped up to meet yours, a knowing smirk tugging on the corner of his lips.

“Whatever do you have in mind, m’lady?” he suggestively raised his eyebrows and wrapped his arms around your waist.

You shivered at the chill that your now soaked clothes brought.

“Well, you feel like you’ve been inside a deep freeze for four days. Let’s warm you up.”

Jungkook’s eyes gleamed.

“You don’t mean…?” he began, a wide smile spreading across his face.

You nodded.

“Yes. I ordered more bath bombs and saved them all so we could use them together.”

Jungkook wiggled in excitement, doing a quick dance of waggling fingers and spastically tapping his toes.

“You’re the beeeeest,” he cheered as he heaved you over his shoulder--causing a surprised shriek to rip from your throat--and pranced off towards the master bedroom.

You couldn't contain your giddiness as your laughter rang out across your apartment. Jungkook was finally home, and your Saturday was finally as warm and relaxing as they used to be before he left.

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