#this is all i could think about during that scene
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I love when people write for Joost!! Can I request a Joost x fem!reader? Like where Y/n is a very big celebrity and very well known, tons of followers and tons of recognition wherever she goes. And during an interview, she gets asked who she likes and she says Joost and the internet blows up. This causes Joost and Y/n to meet and joke about it but they then start to actually date.
LET ME THINK...
pairing . Joost Klein x fem-celeb! reader
content . fluff, reader is an actress, you are addressed as 'reader', reader is the same age as joost, fake social media screenshots, fake blood on one of the posts!!,
summary . you announce that you are a huge fan of Joost Klein in an interview... and he sees it! He just so happens to be a huge fan as well.
word count . 1k words, 5,7k characters
author's note . my editing skills are not the best... but do y'all like the banner i made. yes or yes ??!?!! didn't proofread so sorry if there are mistakes. anyways enjoy.
You and the rest of the cast are getting ready for the interview regarding your next hit series. you're quite nervous about the interview despite being in the industry for so long. Finn Wolfhard and you just finished filming a funny TikTok as you two waited for everything to be ready.
"Alright, let's go everyone!" The manager said to the main cast, that was including you. The five actors walk into the room with a backdrop of a scene of the first episode along sided with five chairs and an interviewer waiting for the cast. They all exchanged hello's to each other.
You all sat down in the chairs near the cameras., ready for the interview. As all the sound checks were done the camera started rolling. The interview started the intro and introduced the camera to the cast, them all saying greetings.
"Hello, we are here with the cast of Decay of Order!" The interviewer continued to list the names of the cast, with excitement within their voice.
The interview started off with the interviewer asking question to one of your co-star's, Peter Gadiot. Asking him about his character in the series, since he was the leader, main focus of the series. Also asking him about himself.
"Since you're the leader of the hunter's, do you think you'll be able to control them in real life?" Peter laughed, looking at the rest of them. "definitely, they see me as a father!" You nodding at his answer. "We look up to him, he truly is the real leader." Your other co-star, Louis Partridge, says with a hint of laughter coming out at the end. The rest of the crew laughing, agreeing.
The interviewer takes turns asking each actor/actress a couple of questions. Once they finished asking questions to Anya Taylor-Joy, who happened to play you're character's best friend, the interviewer turned to you. "With your character, [reader's name], she is known to be quite the tech wiz with a huge crush on Ryan Gosling-" The interviewer pausing in order to laugh, you and Anya snickering too. "But all the fans are wonder, who is your real celebrity crush?" You put your head down for a slight moment, to hide your face from the camera just for a little bit to prepare to say your answer.
"we alll know this answerr~" Peter teasing you. You would talk about your favorite celebrity all the time on set. if there was any moment that you could mention them, you would take it. Sure it was a little annoying, but the rest of the group found it cute how you obsessed over them.
"Is that so?" the interviewer replied to Peter, looking at you, slyly. "She talks about them all the timee!" Finn adding on, Louis chuckling at your shyness. You cover the bottom half of your face. "Yeah, lately my celebrity crush has been Joost Klein!" The interviewer eyes widen, "i could see you two together~!"
"She is literally so obsessed with him it's crazy." Louis proceeded to state how you try to include Joost Klein in every conversation. Finn backing him up on how you also blast Joost's music when filming is done. This was a field day for the crew basically blasting it out how much you love Joost.
"This is the worst day of my lifee!!! What if he sees this?"
"You would like that though."
"NO, I don't think I would!!"
After the interview video was up, you and Joost were trending on twitter. Sure... you were nervous to see what people would say but once you opened the app, all you saw were ship comments.
You couldn't believe it honestly. That people were shipping you two. I mean, you did like it, but it was embarrassing. He could see this and it'll be over for you. What if he finds you weird??? You were kicking your feet and twirling your hair at the thought of Joost...
You decided to post a Instagram post with your favorite song of Joost's, just to get the fans riled up!
You were curious if Joost knew about this whole interview. About if one famous actress got her heart stolen by him.
He knew.
He was freaking out as well. One of his favorite actresses finds him attractive. He was flushed when he watched the video of you and your co-stars talking about this crush of yours.
Joost was getting ready for his own interviews, he knew the question of him knowing about you were going to pop up. Joost wasn't nervous about it, instead he was quite flattered. His ego over the roof. Every other contestants in Eurovision could tell he was in a great mood.
"What has you so happy?" Bambie teased the blue suit wearer, fixing their hair a tiny bit while looking at him. "I'm the same as I am!" Joost chuckled at them, seeing other contestants leave to go to the carpet outside.
"Alright then..." Bambie was going to continue teasing him but they were called out by their manager. Smiling at Joost's direction, giving a low wave bye and staring at him with eyes saying 'we'll talk later'.
As it was his turn to go out with his friends, Appie and Stuntje, he waved at everyone. Stopping every once in a while to answer different questions from people. It was all good and fun until one of the interviewers mentioned you. That's when his confident, funny self turned into a very flustered muttering Joost.
"What do you have to say about Reader's massive crush on you?" Appie and Stunje side eyeing him, waiting for his answer too. "well, I am honestly very flattered that someone beautiful as her would be interested in me."
He smiles, his cheeks pink from embarrassment. He continues, "When I saw the interview, I froze! She is one of my favorite actresses. Reader is amazing at her job!" The interviewer chuckled, satisfied with his answer. "Oh! Well maybe you should message her!"
"No, no! I am too embarrassed to make the first move..." Joost raised his hand up. Putting every finger down expect for his pointer, shaking it right and left multiple times.
"But she is very pretty."
...
LET ME KNOW IF Y'ALL WANT A PART 2!! had to stop it here if i wanted to keep my promise of uploading it soon. tysm for all the requests.
edit: if y'all want to be tagged in part 2, comment pls !!
#joost klein#joost klein x reader#joost klein x you#joost x reader#joost klein fanfic#joost klein fanfiction#joost klein fluff#joost klein x fem reader
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Topic: Lou's (Tommy) contract extension, two key ways Tim Minear took advantage of it, and why I think it means something very promising for the BuckTommy relationship moving forward.
A bit of a long read, but worth it for those constantly biting their nails about Lou’s/Tommy’s current position in the show.
As some or many of us know, Buck and Tommy initially started out as a "multi-episode arc," with Lou's contract being extended sometime later, eventually leading to his participation in the latter half of the season.
Fast forward to now, when we have some small, but I would absolutely argue extremely important, details on how they're using Tommy in the last two episodes of the season.
I'm not going to discuss "There Goes the Groom". I feel like we all know everything there is to say regarding the impact of that episode. So, let's skip to 7x09 and 7x10, shall we?
"Ashes, Ashes" (7x09): Tommy and the 118 are awarded via ceremony for their courageous efforts in rescuing the survivors of the capsized ship at the start of the season.
"All Fall Down" (7x10/Finale): Major spoiler alert for this episode, so continue at your own risk. We also know Bobby is hospitalized, and that numerous characters, including Tommy, are present for a scene (or scenes) at the hospital.
Now, I find it mighty interesting, the two storytelling methods Tim consistently prioritized for the character of Tommy after Lou’s contract extension.
Tim Minear keeps portraying Tommy as someone who makes a strong effort, and who is constantly trying to be present for Buck. We saw that pattern very early on during the initial "multiple-episode arc", and we also saw it in all its romantic comedy glory in "There Goes the Groom" (so much for not referencing that episode). But now, we're going to see it in a much more dramatically powerful way, when Tommy emotionally supports Buck during an undeniably vulnerable and traumatic time.
Tim Minear keeps putting Tommy in scenes with members of the ensemble cast, most of which are in season (series?) defining moments. Tommy was the one who piloted the helicopter to rescue Bobby, Athena, and the other survivors; Tommy directly contributed to Buck’s bisexual awakening via a surprise kiss that became so well known, even non-9-1-1 viewers heard about it; Tommy had a passionate kiss with Buck during the Madney wedding, and even had a memorable moment with the entire ensemble, where all eyes were on him and Buck, and now, Tommy will be awarded for his bravery with key members of the 118 crew. But also, Tommy will very likely interact with the ensemble when he's supporting Buck at the hospital in the season finale.
So, what’s my point? Tim Minear could have easily kept his use of Tommy to extremely superficial levels when he made the decision to extend Lou's contract. Tommy could have had a phone call with Buck here, or a brief light-hearted date there, in one or two of the later episodes, and that could have been enough. But instead, Minear is making a point to constantly integrate Tommy into pivotal moments of the show. Everyone--casual and hardcore fans alike--will remember the cruise ship rescue; Buck's bisexual awakening; the Madney wedding, and the hospital BuckTommy kiss; the award ceremony, and everyone rallying around Bobby at his most vulnerable, when this season is all said and done. Those will be some of the events to remember. And not that I need to point this out, but every single main or supporting character (including Christopher, who we haven't even seen interact with Tommy yet) approves of Tommy in some way. Hell, more than a few have a familiar relationship with him, separate from Buck, and one that is highly positive.
All this to say, I feel very pleased with our current position. I think it's quite clear that Tim Minear sees something wonderful in Tommy as a character, but also in his relationship with Buck. And he's using that extra Tommy time to curate an extremely strong foundation, should the pieces continue fitting together nicely, allowing Tommy to stay long term.
(And as a brief aside, let's not forget the BuckTommy fan edit Minear posted to his Facebook a few days ago. Tim Minear has never struck me as a purposely cruel man, and I think him posting that video mere days before Tommy returns to our screens two weeks in a row, was a pointed move on his part. A positive one.)
Now, I’m not going to sit here and try telling anyone that BuckTommy is an endgame sure thing. No one knows that, including Tim Minear. But what I will say, is that I strongly believe we have a genuine shot at longevity, should no external factors get in the way (scheduling conflicts, budget cuts, actors wanting to leave of their own volition, a different showrunner coming in and wanting something different), and should the overall reception remain positive. And I think there is a lot to support that assertion, happening within the very media we’re currently consuming.
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Paper Flowers (b.b. x fem!reader)
pairing: benedict bridgerton x fem!reader
word count: 2k
warnings: classism, anxious/slightly insecure reader, use of "young lady" and feminine descriptors
a/n: the second part of Language of Flowers is here! Thank you so much for all the love on the first part and I hope you enjoy the second one just as much! I set it up to have more parts in the future so if anyone is interested in that, let me know!!
The eyes of the ton were as insufferable as ever. One would have thought that a lady in simpler attire would attract less attention than those in large adornments or hair pieces, but today appeared the opposite indeed. Sure, when you were personally delivering large floral orders to people’s estates, you had eyes on you, but you could ignore them then. Then, you knew you would not be in their line of vision for long and you could rest assured with the guarantee that no one would remember past that moment. Now, however, now you were out walking in your simple attire with a lord. A lord of one of the most illustrious families no less. You had tried to convince Benedict to take the less occupied back roads, but he insisted that his desired destination would be faster reached should you take the main road. Not wanting to make a scene in public, you were left to be made a spectacle.
The looks you were receiving were not lost on Benedict, but he chose to keep his head up high, nodding and smiling when someone was about to pull an ugly face. Perhaps the ton were weary as to why someone of his status was walking with a working class young lady, but frankly, he was too happy that he had gotten you on this walk in the first place to even consider how wild it might appear on the surface. He nearly reached out to grab your hand when he saw the Cowpers were approaching from the modiste, but realised just in time how much worse the physical affection might be and refrained, choosing to wipe some imaginary dust off of his trousers instead.
“Something else will catch their attention by morning, do not fret,” he whispered with his head tilted in your direction but looking over your head rather than at you in an effort to look less obvious.
You had been so caught up in the whirlwind of emotions that were entrapped in him appearing at the shop and your parents sending you away that you had not had the time to think about presentation at all. You had heard girls lamenting to each other about their lacklustre presentations to the Queen and you could imagine that it felt something similar to this. All eyes on you, no one truly seeing you, yet everyone so quick to make a passing judgement.
“Had I cared about the opinions of others, I would not have asked for your time. But I am here because I care not about them, but about you. Keep your head high, we are almost there,” Benedict whispered once again. While his words were nice, they did little to soothe your anxiety. Nonetheless, you raised your chin up higher, realising you had been staring at the cobblestone more than what was in front of you. You soon found yourself quickly approaching a luscious green field that left you wondering how Benedict had ever found it. It was much closer to the shops than his estate, and with the ton spending most of their months in the country, you questioned how his discovery of this place might have come about. “We have arrived,” Benedict commented with a small smile on his face, waving his arm out to the side in demonstration.
“However did you find this place?” You questioned.
“Being a child in a clan of eight means a lot of time to make daring escapes during family shopping trips,” he smiles, mischievous as you ever saw. The smile gives the impression that he looked back on those memories fondly, as you did with memories of you and your sisters. Maybe you had never had big family shopping trips into town, but the moral of the story lies in the bonds strengthened with those you were with. You started to believe you might have more in common than you previously imagined.
“I figured we could sit and admire the view. Talk for a little, if it suits you,” Benedict looked over at you, gesturing to a place clear of any wandering eyes where you could lean against the sturdy tree trunk and watch the breeze create waves over the pond.
“It suits me very well,” you nodded, a small smile etching its way onto your face as he sat down first, offering his hand as to assist you in doing the same.
“I’d say the way the sun hits suits you very nicely as well,” he complimented, “you’re practically glowing”.
“A fan of flattery are we Mr. Bridgerton?” you asked, teasingly but trying not to show it.
“Only when I feel it necessary”.
Though you were promised conversation, Benedict did not want to force it, so the two of you sat in silence, taking in the sights and sounds of this hidden paradise. The silence was not uncomfortable, mind you, but rather a space in which the two of you could gather all of your thoughts. The grass waved to and fro in the light breeze, catching glimmers of sunlight in every direction. It looked as though someone had sprinkled fairy dust and every sparkle was destined to catch your eye. The tree you were leaning on had a small hole in the trunk, and you quickly caught two squirrels dashing in and out of it, dancing on the tree branches above you.
“This place is-”
“I wanted to ask-” you realised you had started speaking at the same time. You nodded at Benedict, silently urging him to continue first.
“I wanted to ask why you were so adamant about disliking me upon our first visit”.
You paused. You knew this question was going to appear sooner or later and yet you did not have a precise answer. Not one that felt worthy enough of your anger anyway. It was not unlike you to get an idea stuck in your head and run with it, so unchanging that you had to apologise many a time to family members for such unwavering anger. It always felt silly a few days later, as it did now, to have held onto an unsupported emotion for so long, but you liked admitting your faults just as much as you liked giving Benedict the time of day when you first met. Surely your idea was not so drastic this time, as you had met many men of the ton and of the working class who held women in low regard, instantly annoying you, but you also knew that this time you were angered more because of his brother than because of him. You had just happened to meet him first.
You decided it would be easier to just tell Benedict as such, and he sat there quietly during your entire speech. He did not interrupt, did not interject, did not even look away while you were explaining. It made you feel even sillier that he was listening so attentively to a situation you grew more and more embarrassed about. Ending your spiel, you placed your head in your hands, leaning your elbows against your knees as to become as small as possible. Benedict was quick to remedy this, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling your arm away from your face. He looked at you with a goofy smile before reaching for an inner pocket in his jacket.
“So your problem lies not with me, but with my brother?”
“I do not believe I actually have a problem with any of you. Not a reasonable one anyway; I was merely already agitated and the situation you laid before me sounded so similar to ones I had heard before that I clumped you all together. This is not to dismiss the derogatory nature that men in the ton and of the working class have I just-”
“I believe I understand,” Benedict cut you off, but only so you would not have to repeat your feelings in order to feel that you had explained them properly. “Now that we are at least a little on the same page, I did not want you to think that I had left you out of my gifting endeavours entirely,” he pulled something out of his inner pocket and you immediately noticed a delicate pale pink ribbon tying little cards together. “I couldn’t entirely fight the urge to gift flowers, even though you work with them constantly, so I figured some longer lasting ones might be nicer”. He handed you the stack of cards and you gingerly unwrapped the bow from the front in order to get a better look. Now it was Benedict’s turn to become embarrassed, as he feared you may not like or appreciate them. You came from a family of florists, of course it was a low blow to gift you something related to your trade. This was a terrible idea and he should have never-
“These are…beautiful,” you sighed, shifting through the cards with soft eyes. He had painted multiple flowers with their meanings listed under them in the fashion of miniatures. They were incredibly detailed and gorgeous that you could not imagine the amount of effort it took not only for him to create each flower but find their meaning as well. “You are an artist, I take it”.
“I…dabble”.
“Do not be modest Mr. Bridgerton. If this is dabbling I would love to see what your proper art looks like,” you smiled up at him and felt all worry about his gift choices melt away. You liked them and that is all that mattered.
“My mother is quite well versed in the language of flowers, so I figured I would use what talent I have for you”.
“My little sister, Abigail, keeps our flower book on her shelf so it is quite nice that now I can have one of my own. No matter how versed one might be, there is always the fear that one might forget, so these will prove quite useful I think.”
Everything was going perfectly in Benedict’s mind. You liked his gift, you enjoyed the space you were in, you were smiling. You carefully tied the cards back together with the pale ribbon, turning them over and over again in your hand as if you couldn’t believe someone had taken the time to gift you such a thing. In truth you couldn’t; your family were certainly not the wealthiest in England, so gifts were small or hard to come by. They only really happened during holidays and birthdays, but half the time you ended up sharing with your sisters. Not that you were complaining, you loved your sisters dearly and were grateful for anything you received, but being able to have something to call your own was magical.
A quick glance at Benedict’s pocket watch caused the whole scene to come crashing down, however, as he jumped up and informed you that he was late for a family event. You urged him to go, thanking him for the gift and the time, assuming this would be the end of your time together indefinitely. Benedict seemed to have other ideas.
“There is a party. Two nights from now and I would love if you would come with me”.
“Should you not be worried about bringing me?”
“Whatever for?” Your question seemed lost on him.
“Bringing someone of a lower status to a ton party would surely cause scandal, would it not?”
“No, see, this is a party where everyone is invited. All types of people mingling together for an evening, doing whatever the night calls them to do. It is truly wonderful and it would be even more wonderful if you would attend. It would be after shop hours, so you would not have to worry about leaving your family to fend for themselves,” he teased and you laughed, “and I could come pick you up, make sure you arrive safely and all”.
“If you are sure,” to which Benedict nodded enthusiastically, “then I suppose I shall”.
His smile grew wide as he lightly grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it before starting the walk in the opposite direction back towards Mayfair. You were still wary of what had taken place, and the promise you just made, but you supposed if one of you was certain enough about it that it would be fine. Or at least you hoped.
people who asked to be tagged: @easybrainrot34, @imgondeletedis, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog
#bridgerton#benedict bridgerton#benedict bridgerton x reader#bridgerton fanfiction#anthony bridgerton#eloise bridgerton#bridgerton x you#bridgerton x reader#benedict bridgerton x you#benedict bridgerton fanfiction
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I don't think any season will affect me as deeply as Bridgerton S2.
Ever experience that Anthony and Kate have with their family is a direct reflection of an older sibling's struggles to keep everyone together with only one parent half present, taking on the major part of the responsibility as the head of the house.
Starting with the scene where Edmund dies in Anthony and Violet's arms. It's a clear start of the divide between Anthony and his siblings in terms of being classified as "children". Violet tells him to keep the "other children" from not witnessing what he just witnessed, him having to take charge while he watches his only remaining parent fall apart in despair and anguish. Him begging her to get more involved with the rest of his siblings because he is so scared he is going to mess things up, so scared because he is not his mother and he is not his father. I wonder how many dinners he sat with the rest of his siblings after his mother refused to eat with them and made small talk with his siblings or sat in awkward silence. I wonder how long it took for him to master the small talk and eventually learn everything his siblings were up to so that he can talk to them about it and work in the shadows to make things better (like he thought he was doing with Benedict and the art school). All while trying to encourage his mother, listening to her wish that the baby had done her the kindness of killing her so that she could be with her husband. Watching his expression during that scene was particularly brutal:
Clearly trying to hang on by a thread as he listens to his mother's suicidal wishes and hope he will have a parent that lives to the next day so he wouldn't have to witness death and wouldn't have to be the only parent left for his siblings, because god help him, I knew he thought he was failing them by just existing and not being his father.
Then the birth of Hyacinth.
When he is asked of an impossible choice between his new family, his to-be sibling and his own mother, his parent, the only person left who is supposed to take care of him. He is not ready to see another parent die in front of him. But he sees his mother begging for her husband, begging for a choice in the matter, driven by pain and grief and sees the doctor calmly ignoring it and asking him. What does he know? He is a child, as his mother says. He wants his father too. He should also be in one of the rooms with his siblings, maybe soothing them and listening to Daphne sing instead of being demanded a choice of lives. He wants his mother to live another day because he cannot fathom the responsibility and the loss he will have to handle otherwise. He wants to demand that they save the mother, you can see it in his eyes but as he sees her begging for the choice, he makes the only one that he hopes his father would approve of.
And thus begins his lifetime of choices that he hopes would be in the interest of everyone else, that he hopes his father would approve of. All while secretly believing that his family hates him for the mistakes he makes as a young, inexperienced man taking all the responsibilities prematurely. And make mistakes he does! Because he lives by a set of rules he hopes the mirage of his dead father might follow, he cannot see that his other siblings are capable and allowed to make their own choices as well (yes yes regency era meant no choices for women but whatever) and constantly made terrible choices for Daphne's personal life in the interest of "protecting" her.
Similar mistakes from Kate. (god what is it about older siblings wanting to do whatever it takes to give what THEY perceive as the best to their siblings?)
She lies and hides and manages Edwina's entire interaction with everyone in the hopes that her sister will be encouraged only into the most wonderful perfect whirlwind of a romance to the best man alive, only to completely neglect and pretty much gaslight her views onto her sister.
This sentiment? Let me just break it down (from my perspective, there can be many different views and any and/or all may be true including that this is just the way Edwina's personality is): Kate wants Edwina to pursue love, to pursue the match of her wants by choosing the best, the brightest, the smartest, the most charming, etc. Because Kate always tells her that thats what she deserves, and its true, she does deserve the best (well, the best for her that is). You see, when you narrow people down to "selecting the best, being the best" etc, you end up making people think that because they are considered the best by the general population (the season's diamond and most eligible bachelor) that they are destined to be together, to make a stunning, powerful match. Edwina is never given a chance to even understand what best truly means for her and what she deserves (and obviously Anthony never thinks about it lol) and is enamored by getting the best of the best. Why? Is it some sort of ego that's fed to her by Kate? The opposite really. It is her own version of trying to show her family that she can excel at things and make them proud. Which is why when she inevitably fails, she somehow thinks she could've done better to please him and treats the whole thing as a test to her as a person, the person her sister had (in Edwina's mind) worked so hard to cultivate and educate to be the best of the best. And in a society where her worth is determined by her husband, if she didn't get the best of the best man, was she really living up to the work that was put into her?
"You have choices"
Ngl, that line is probably something she deep down wishes she had in some recess of her subconscious mind or smtg. It is only because Kate is actually there for Edwina emotionally that Edwina doesn't become a complete people pleaser (though lets be clear, she is definitely one, literally changes like a chameleon to fit everyone's likes. Ain't no one that well liked and Daphne clocked that early on).
I am not saying I hate older siblings and that they are the worst controlling beings on the planet. I am myself an older sibling. Actually I think because I'm an older sibling, it makes me even more horrified when I watch the season because I can clearly see the mistakes they are committing even as I know I would do the same in their case. I understand the pain and desperation that drives them, the self-loathing, the mindset that we must deny ourselves any sort of happiness and pleasure because concentrating on ourselves mean that we are neglecting everyone else. The armor we put on to seem the strongest, the meanest, the one who would throw the first punch after an insult flung at their family, the last one to step down from a fight all for our family, all in the name of family.
These two? They would lay down their lives for their siblings. If asked, they would sacrifice themselves with dark magic so that their siblings would never know the pain of a pin prick. Because they know pain and they never want their siblings to feel it. And so they control and manage and make sure everything goes the way they need it to, the way, the only way that their family can be safe and happy. All while they deny themselves the same painless happiness.
Anthony literally refused to fall in love so that he would never have to put his siblings through the kind of pain he went through as he saw his mother sit numbly for months after his father's death, barely existing through everyday. Kate barely viewed herself as Lady Sharma's daughter because she put both her and Edwina on such a high pedestal and stood guard at the bottom of it.
Both of them, oldest siblings resigning and steeling themselves and reassuring themselves that this is what they deserve, this is the price to be paid for the happiness of their family. Then resigning themselves to a life of loneliness, all while their family looks on at them with the greatest pity because they cannot understand for the life of them why their protectors, their loved ones, their older brother/sister would put themselves through things that obviously made them miserable.
And as it does, their pity will turn to frustration and if unchecked, to resentment or bitterness. Secrets and lies and controlling behaviors always come with a cost, no matter the intention. But not only that; What most oldest siblings forget is that everyone needs a role model to look up to and usually people find it in their siblings, their parents or someone else in the family that they know well. With the walls you've erected, they barely know you at all. And what you do display is only misery and burden. I cannot stress how much it pains them to see that in the people they love and how much it affects them.
So anyway, to older siblings out there. Prioritize yourselves. It is literally better for your siblings if you do. Love them, protect them but also teach them through example to make their own choices in life and be stable and happy yourself.
Also do you think he wanted to scream during this scene? Because personally I would've told her "OFC. OFC lilacs were his favorite. Because I was there when he died picking lilac/violet flowers for his wife named Violet, YEAH I fucking KNEW."
His mother telling him that she knew what he wanted and that he wanted love was probably the final testament to how little his family knew him. He was probably incredulous at the thought of his family wanting him to find love. Why tf would they think he wants that??
Why would he want love when it was the very same thing that ruined his mother after his father's death? The same thing that had left her so broken and numb that he had to be awake and pick up the pieces of his family as he could not afford to do the same.
The pain that parents inflict through their own grief/rage etc are things that really leave a lasting impact on the kids huh?
Also yes, I did cry when Lady Sharma told Kate that she always viewed her as a daughter and she was never an outsider to the family because she WAS family, man that shit had me bawling. Nothing ever prepares me for the loneliness of dealing with the consequences of "doing what you think is best" when it comes to other's lives.
Sorry for how all over the place this rant is. Tell me if I missed anything and what all older sibling behavior yall do and how called out this shit made u feel.
#absolutely called out by this season#I went and immediately started talking to my sister more and telling her about my hopes and dreams for myself and asking about hers#what she wants and how she wants to do it and how to help her figure out what she wants#this shit called me out big time#bridgerton#anthony bridgerton#kate sharma#kathani sharma#kathani bridgerton#kathani and anthony#colin bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#bridgerton netflix#penelope featherington#kanthony#polin
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TL asleep? cool.
(long post, strap in)
i wanna talk about colin's wet dream. that was the most demisexual shit i have EVER seen. there's not even any sex. its just a romanticized, elevated version of their first kiss. its colin's subconscious wanting to replay the moment he fell in love with his best friend in the Most way possible.
lets break it down:
we got the same location of their first kiss. Complete with mood lighting and a fog machine. It’s giving pride and prejudice 2005
Penelope comes out (looking gorgeous, of course) to their rendezvous spot, which has been previously agreed on.
colin thanks her for meeting him, she doesn't know why he's asked her to come
he confesses his feelings for her
she reciprocates (this is the important part of this to me. ) her wanting him, makes him want her more (do you see where the demisexual colin energy is coming from? do you understand?)
they make out
he kisses her neck as she pants his name over and over (see my point above re: her wanting him makes him want her more)
he wakes up, absolutely shook
this is an idealized reimagining for colin: during their first kiss he was basically in shock, his new personality chokes on the reality and vulnerability of the moment
in the book he talks about how he tries to think of something witty to say but finds that no words are necessary, and there's no combination of witty banter or suave bravado that could help in that moment. the rake persona that he has put on up to this point absolutely fails him. but here, in this dream, words are crucial, the declarations of love are why its sexy! (demi colin is canon idc idc)
and its so important that this wet dream, the idealized version of this scenario happens like this. because we've also seen colin having sex with sex workers (and luke newton has talked about this) but his energy in those scenes is very detached, very focused on him and his pleasure with zero connection to the women he's with. he has two different threesomes (if you can even call the second one that, he's barely even looking at them) with four different women and we know nothing about these girls. they don't even get names. they don't matter, and its simply not. as. good. as the feeling of kissing pen. there is no connection
which is, i think, why he taps out during the threesome in ep4. he tries to go back to the devil-may-care attitude toward sex and intimacy that he had before kissing pen, he tries to return to that mask he put on of "the rake" and it just doesn't work! he feels nothing! in fact he feels disdain for the position he's in and the choices he's made!
the threesome in ep4 mirrors the outburst he has later at the club really well. like he's so frustrated with this position he's put himself in, the men he's surrounded himself with. he literally says "none of you are gentlemen!" "you're actually gross and disrespectful!"
a line that i love is :
"... it is tiring, is it not? The necessity imposed on us to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning. Do you not find it lonely?"
and they laugh! in! his! face! because these are men that feel perfectly fine sleeping with strangers and bragging about their "conquests" to their buddies
but that is not who colin is! he's still very young. and his experience with marina (who tried to seduce him and it didn't work, imo bc he just didn't feel that passion, that love that makes his relationship with penelope so different) has left him jaded, but not nearly as jaded as he wants to believe. even if he wants to be casual about romance and sex, he just isn't. this man proposed to marina after knowing her for what? a couple weeks? He is an All or Nothing type of guy. He has that Bridgerton 'when i fall in love i will only ever talk about my spouse' Gene
Now: some costuming details that i love:
Her hair:
(i know this is a stretch but go with me here) her hair is in slightly tighter curls than we've seen this season, which to me seems like a nod to colin liking (or at least not minding) her hair the way it was in previous seasons and maybe not caring as much as we might think about her transformation. but its still down and flowy and in line with her new style
let's talk about this! dress! (it has genuinely been keeping me up at night)
the sleeves seem much more similar to the silhouettes of her costumes in previous seasons, not necessarily in shape but in style
the sleeves are bulkier, compared to this season's costumes, which while they might have been the same size and shape, they are made of much lighter material, giving the silhouette a softer, more mature feeling.
compare it to this dress from s3 ep2: it looks very similar with the sleeve shape and the floral appliqués, but in the dress in the image above, the appliqués are much more obvious, closer to penelope's style under her mother's tastes
the point i'm trying to make here will be made more clear in a sec. what I am NOT trying to say that colin prefers her in her little girl dresses with loud designs, bright colors, and silly hairdos. he just associates those bigger, brighter, louder style choices with penelope.
And he has always liked Penelope. Even when he didn’t take her seriously as a potential partner, he always saw her as an equal. He never made fun of her silly dresses and questionable hair choices.
This has nothing to do with Colin but i feel like i should point it out:
there is something to be said about how her muted pastel color palette along with the more demure style that she has adopted shows that she is trying to Show Up with this social season, but as a wallflower, she is shy. she's always hated those brightly colored dresses her mother put her in, because no matter how close to the wall she clung, she was always visible. she was always vulnerable to ridicule.
but i don't think colin knows or realizes this because why would he think critically about the specific style changes she's made. and he probably doesn't really make the connection of the influence her mother has on her clothing. and around him, pen has never seemed all that shy. she's been confident and witty. if you pair her personality that shines around colin with her louder outfits, it seems more congruous
(take the scene from season 2 where we get the line "My purpose shall set me free") this is a side of penelope that no one, not even eloise!, sees
what his subconscious knows is that he associates pen with vibrant, textured, and often 3-dimensional outfits, and his subconscious creates a dress that fits her new style, with a little more of that featherington flair thrown in.
the fucking tie in front: i feel like this is a very clear reference/ foreshadowing to the mirror scene
for those of you who haven't read the book, the mirror scene doesn't actually happen, but colin tells penelope about a fantasy he has about touching her in front of a mirror
this is a pretty small offhand comment made while they're having sex for the first time but amongst book fans the scene has become pretty fleshed out i think, with fanfics especially
because the idea that it touches on is colin fantasizing about penelope seeing herself the way he does, as sexy and desirable (he seriously cares about her pleasure so much its sickening, I'm actually sick)
and although Book Colin doesn't mention it, the idea of him undressing her in front of a mirror has become a popular story set-up
i think the tie in the front sort of plays on the time period sensibilities of propriety: this is a time where in "good" society an unmarried man and woman would never touch skin to skin, its why all the women wear gloves most of the time. its why the scenes in season 1 between daphne and simon play on the excitement of removing the gloves: its a taboo thing
this is unrelated to this post but i need an explanation as to why pen isn't wearing gloves in a lot of her scenes this season, like the scandal that that would cause??? I'm assuming its representative of her growing into her sexuality; and bridgerton is a fantasy, not a historical nonfiction, but like some consistency would be nice guys bc i was so confused abt all the skin-on-skin contact happening. even with Francesca and Lord Samadani WHEN HE KISSES HER BARE HAND I WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HER. especially because of all the glove-related tension in s1. but i digress.
so the tie in front is sort of a dare. even though its clearly an addition, and untying wouldn't actually remove her dress, its her (colin's subconscious version of her anyway) way of saying: "you could untie this, you could undress me if you wanted to" "i love you" "i want you"
and i think that's beautiful. this season is great and i will die on this hill.
If you've made it this far, congrats! you're just as feral as me! come and gnaw on the drywall with me while i post fanfics inspired by this season: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55988977/chapters/142190584
chapters 1+2 of my new fic are up
photos are from : https://www.cap-that.com/bridgerton/302/index.php?image=bridgerton3x02_1502.jpg
#colin bridgerton#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#penelope featherington coded#polin#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#bridgerton meta#costume design#demisexuality#demisexual representation#demisexual colin bridgerton#bridgerton season 3 analysis#romancing mister bridgerton#romancing mr. bridgerton#adaptation analysis#some historical context analysis as a treat for me specifically
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Not only do Robin and Will (and Mike!) have scenes together, they have a plot where the three of them visit Castle Byers in the Upside Down and here's all of the proof:
I originally posted this on twitter a month ago, which got a lot of backlash as well as prompting a certain someone to lie directly to my face about it. Now that I've been vindicated so much in the last few days, I want to share this mini-theory that I'm mostly convinced of at this point.
1.Let us go over the filming timeline:
February 15th (left), Robin and Will at the McCorkle farm. Take note of the outfit that Robin is wearing here.
February 20th (right), fans stumble on an Upside Down Castle Byers set in the woods.
February 22 (left), a pap reveals they were filming at this location the past week, and likes a comment saying one of the figures in the red picture was of Noah/Will.
March 1st (right), Ross Duffer posts what is (possibly) weeks 7-8 of filming, including a picture of Castle Byers in the Upside Down with the prominent American flag.
March 13 (but not really), we get a hidden shot from Episode 4. Oh, and an iPad in the corner that says this was actually February 13 - the same week they were filming with Maya/Noah/Finn at the farm.
Oh, but zoom in. Enhance image. What is that? It's the unknown!
A flag.... the body of a person with a dark coat and a white t-shirt.... possibly in the mirror view of a car or some kind of framing device. Now what did they film in the same week(s) that looks like this? Just Castle Byers and Robin.
2. Aaaaand then we get a little bit into Lovers Lake gate (literally).
The official version of the map, that could still be incorrect tbf, has Lover's Lake placed near the farms on the outskirts of town. There is also a fan-made map referenced from the actual show, which is different but still places Lover's Lake next to some farms and specifically Eugene McCorkle's farm.
Then we have this classic BTS photo from Ross of (possibly lol) Weeks 5-6 which would include the week of February 13 and 16th where we know they were filming at the farm.
What this all means, I won't speculate on too much, but I am fairly sure we are getting a mission with Robin/Will/Mike as they venture into the Upside Down (maybe Mike drives them himself) through a rift that has strategically opened near the farm because of it's position near the Lovers Lake gate.
I think it's possible that they are investigating Will's memories, and trying to induce them to come back. The opening scene as we all know happens at Castle Byers. Will wants to go for his own self-development and discovery, Mike tags along because that's his boyfriend bestie, and Robin tags along after developing a soft spot for Will and to get a glimpse at how the two interact.
3. Where are the others at (why only them three)?
Also in episode 4, we have Nancy, Jon, Dustin and (probably since it's his car) Steve as a group all travelling from the McCorkle farm into the Upside Down. Perhaps they split off into their own missions, or something goes awry and this is the reconnaissance team sent in to find RoWillMike.
The one thing I do have extra confirmation of is that Millie has not been involved in any of the farm scenes, even the ones filmed in April. There is no way El is involved in this plot. Millie was also on a filming break during most of February.
The others all likely have a plotline together (Lucas/Erica/Joyce/Hopper/El). Vickie couullldd be there though?
Fin.
#now that i dont have to explain WHY i think theres a team up this is much easier lol#robin buckley#will byers#mike wheeler#byler#st5 speculation#basically: skittles squad is real
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I’m not sure if you still take prompts but tbh, I don’t even care, can you write anything you want? Doesn’t have to be long! Just craving some good caskett 😭
A/N: I was either reading a book or watching a tv show, I can't recall, but the simple words of "I'll leave early" got stuck in my brain and shot this idea into my head. Set during 4x19, ‘47 Seconds’, initially before any confessions unknowingly occur on the other side of an interrogation room window.
-
The knock on the door startles him, has him jerking out of his chair and bumping his hip on the edge of the desk.
Castle curses under his breath, winces, but carries on into the living room, to the front door.
It’s late, after midnight, and he hasn’t been able to calm his mind. All he can think about is the victims of the bombing, their loss of life, of opportunity, and how it has selfishly caused him to reflect on those areas of his own life. On Kate.
He’s going to tell her tomorrow. He has to. What if - god forbid - the world were to end for him the way it did for all of those people today, and it would do so without Kate Beckett knowing he loved her? What if the time they had was so much shorter than they could imagine? What if-
Castle feels the color drain from his face, all of the bravado leaving him, as he swings the door open.
“Beckett,” he greets softly, self-consciously smoothing down the tortured strands of hair that have flown this way and that from the restless push of his fingers.
She’s in his hallway with her hair falling in those gentle waves around her shoulders, her face devoid of makeup and an NYPD sweatshirt engulfing her slim frame. Kate offers him a weak twitch of her mouth.
“Hey, Castle.” Her voice is soft but gruff, as if it hasn’t been used in hours. “Did I wake you?”
“No, no,” he assures her, stepping back and gesturing for her to come in. Her eyes flicker around the darkened space, as if ensuring his daughter isn’t at the counter, or his mother on the couch. “I was up, trying to write, but after today… I just couldn’t get out of my head.”
The door clicks quietly behind them and he steps up to her side, catches the haunted glimpse of her eyes gravitating back to him. The warm glow of his office beckons them forward, offering privacy and familiarity. She's never said as much, but he thinks she favors his office, the comforting walls of books and the sofa she often curls up on when she stays late to theorize over cases or plot points for his novels.
“Yeah.” She nods, twisting her fingers together in front of her as she follows him inside. He eases the office door closed. Just in case. The last thing he needs is Alexis's scrutinizing gaze peering in. His daughter means well, he knows, but on the topic of Kate, he hopes to maintain some distance. “I know the feeling.”
“Couldn’t sleep?” he tries, sensing there is more to her visit than she is letting on.
“No,” she admits. “I just - it’s this case. I kept seeing their faces, the crime scene, the senselessness of it. I keep thinking of the victims’ loved ones, what it’s going to do to them.”
Castle tilts his head, understanding but still curious. Her eyes fall to her feet, the worn toes of her sneakers peeking out from her jeans.
“It’s selfish, but it - it made me think of what my shooting did to the people I care about, that I love.” She purses her lips and exhales a breath that quivers. “I don’t think I ever apologized to you. Well, beyond the first time I saw you again after your book signing in the fall,” she murmurs, tentatively lifting her gaze to meet his. “For what I put you through.”
“Kate,” he huffs, but she catches the hand he tries to use to wave her off. He stares down at the slim curl of her fingers around his, the kiss of her thumb to the heart of his palm. “You didn’t put me through anything, you were shot. Besides, I’m one of the lucky ones. You’re here.”
“You know what I mean.” Her eyes harden, a fierce hazel, emboldened. “The summer, and… this. The missed opportunities and lost time. The waiting.”
His brow hitches, surprise rippling through his senses. Sure, they’ve talked around his unspoken vow to wait for her, their conversations always edging on everything shy of committing to one another without saying any actual truths. He’s not used to blatant honesty between them.
His hand relaxes within the grasp of hers, their loosely knotted fingers dangling in the space between them.
“I just - I know it’s not necessarily what you signed up for-”
“Beckett, it’s exactly what I signed up for,” he chuckles, tugging gently on their hands and drawing her a step closer. She has to lift her eyes to him without her heels, her vulnerability alive and shimmering in her gaze just a few inches below. “From the first day we met, I signed up for you.”
“We were different then,” she huffs, shaking her head, but he squeezes her hand.
“Yeah, but maybe we’ve been changing for the better.” He shrugs, watching a sliver of hope slice through her pupils. “Maybe the last four years were necessary, to prove we were capable of growing together. Seems worth waiting for to me.”
Kate’s lips quirk, white teeth appearing to contain the smile.
“You always know how to say something reassuring,” she sighs, but her eyes are dancing with light for him.
“Plus, you’re only the hottest detective in existence, so I’d be stupid to give up so easily-”
She smacks him with her free hand, her laughter quiet and mingling with his. He catches the other hand at his chest, coats her knuckles with his palm, and feels hers come to a cool rest over his heart. Kate’s laugh gentles into a sigh, her body swaying towards his, and then she’s releasing the hand that was holding his. Her arm snakes around his waist instead, her embrace tentative.
Rick's arms automatically wind around her, the movement as natural as breathing. He feels the sink of her body into his, the exhale of tension against his collarbone as she tucks her forehead against his neck.
“I love you, Kate,” he whispers, feeling the terror and exhilaration commingling within his chest as the words escape. He expects her to tense, to draw away, but she remains against him. Still, unspeaking, and possibly not breathing, but in his arms with her fingers curled into the t-shirt at his back. “I don’t need you to be ready to say it back, but I don’t want you to forget, to doubt. I’m here.”
Her arm tightens around him, her fingers curling at his chest, as if she could hold fast to the heart beneath her hand. They remain like that for a long moment and he takes the time to appreciate the shape of her in his arms, the scent of her shampoo in his nose, and her nuzzled cheek against his clavicle.
"I don't want you to doubt either," she murmurs, the heat of her breath rushing over the flesh of his throat.
Kate gingerly lifts her head, dark lashes rising and eyes finding his. Her hand splays at the small of back, her fingertips brushing his spine. He swallows hard, begging his heart to steady before she feels the gallop of it between their bodies.
"You're not alone in this, Rick." A tender smile graces her lips, encouraging yet shy. Her eyes fall to his mouth, linger for a moment too long before fluttering back to his gaze. "And I don't think the wait is for much longer."
"N-no?" He clears his throat, watches her smile grow, and he can't help it. He touches a hand to her jaw, unfurling fingers along her cheek, and watches in amazement as she leans into the cup of his palm.
"No," she confirms, covering the back of his hand with one of hers, holding it there as she turns her head and brushes a kiss to his palm that sends a jolt of electricity up his arm.
"Kate," he sighs, giving into the compromise of pressing his forehead to hers.
"Sorry," she mumbles, abandoning his hand to dust her fingers to his chin. He feels the tips of her fingers trail along his jaw, his eyes fluttering closed as her thumb skims his cheek. "I think I should go."
"It's late," he argues, eyes flickering open to find hers watching closely, bottom lip pinned beneath her teeth again. "Just stay. The guest room-"
"Castle, Alexis and your mom-"
"Something tells me Alexis won't even notice since she leaves for classes at the crack of dawn and my mother won't be up until the clock is flashing double digits."
She's considering it, he can tell.
"Stay," he murmurs, forcing himself to draw back and stealing the hand from his face.
"Castle," she huffs when he begins to drag her towards his bedroom.
"Here," he tells her, letting her go to dig through his dresser, retrieving a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. "These should be comfortable, but you're welcome to raid my closet and drawers for other options if-"
She swipes the clothes from him and glowers as she brushes past, heading for his bathroom.
He nervously rearranges his pillows while he waits for her, trying not to pay attention to the sound of running water or the click of the doorknob.
She still looks uncertain when she drops her clothes in the chair beside his bed, her sweater landing on top of his robe, making him stupidly delighted.
"Come on," he says, climbing onto his side of the bed and cutting the lamp lights. He feels the darkness will seal the deal, allow her the courage to crawl under the covers to innocently lie beside him.
He doesn't know when they decided on his room instead of the guest room, but she makes no move to leave now.
He looks anywhere but at her while he slides his legs beneath the comforter, the sheets, and settles onto his back. But his body, his senses, are attuned to her, and he can hear the quiet rustling of her doing the same. When he risks a glance, he can make out the dark mass of her body curled beneath the blankets a few inches away.
"I'll leave early," she breathes into the shadows between them, as if making a promise to them both.
"Kate."
A moment of silence passes and then the mattress is shifting, her body warm and lithe and nestling beside him. He eases his arm around her, feels the welcome weight of her head on his shoulder, the contented sigh of her breath against his neck.
"I'll leave early," she repeats, adamant but soft.
"Go to sleep, Kate," he whispers, resting his cheek against her hair and feeling the restlessness of her quieting.
Her arms curl between them, her cold hands against his ribs, her knees against his thighs. He drifts to sleep savoring the points of contact.
-
When he wakes, Kate is gone. Later, he finds that the shirt he lent her the night before is as well.
-
The next night, when he receives a late knock on his door, he's aware of who will be on the other side and he opens it with anger roiling through his insides.
"You stormed out before I had the chance to explain," she begins immediately, coming into his loft as if she were a storm herself. "I know why you're upset with me, but-"
"Kate, I really think you've said enough today," he cuts her off, keeping his voice low.
It's late, hours since he knows her shift ended. He knows she planned this purposely to avoid his family, to corner him while he was alone.
"What I said to Bobby-"
"Yeah, I already heard it once. I'll pass on a second time," he mutters, locking his front door and leaving her in the entryway.
"Rick." But she follows, of course, chasing him with soft steps to the sanctuary of his office. "It was an interrogation tactic. You're just assuming I was being honest with a suspect," she hisses, easing the office door shut behind her.
Castle crosses his arms and leans back against his desk.
"Fine," he concedes, bitterly. He already knows the answer to his next question, he feels it in his gut, his bones. The horrible truth he's always known. "Do you remember every second of that day? Of being shot?"
Her throat ripples with a swallow, but she exhales steadily, steels herself before she says a word.
"Yes," she confesses, holding his gaze. "I've always remembered."
"Every. Second," he clarifies. Not a question.
Her lips part, the bottom one threatening to quiver ever so slightly. She squares her jaw to stop it.
"Every second," she confirms, her fingers in fists at her sides. "I remember you tackling me, trying to stop the blood, to - to save me."
He casts his eyes away from her, not wanting to remember it, not wanting to recall the feeling of hot blood on his hands, the wide surprise of her eyes, the panicked sound of her gasping for breath beneath him.
"I remember you telling me you love me," she whispers, the words soft but measured. "That was the last thing."
"All this time," he manages, blinking away the horror of those images. "You lied."
"I know," she whispers, exhaling a shaking breath into the silence between them. "I didn't - I didn't know how to face it then. How to be - how to be what I wanted to be for myself, for you. I just... god, Castle. I panicked and if I hadn't been in therapy for the last few months, I'd probably still be lying to you."
He spares a look at her then, the crescents of purple beneath her eyes, the glimmer of moisture making them sparkle in the darkness of the room.
"When I woke up in that hospital room, I didn't feel like a person anymore. The only purpose I've ever felt I had was solving my mother's murder and after the shooting, I didn't think I could survive making room for anything else," she attempts to explain, but he can hear the hitch threatening her throat, the choked sound of her trying not to cry. "I didn't feel worth much else."
Argument bubbles unbidden on his tongue at that, but she speaks first.
"I - I wanted you," she declares, meeting his eyes with a desperation he's never seen in hers. Not for him. "But I didn't feel like I could give what you deserve. I needed to be better first, to heal, to make the room. To acknowledge how important you are to me."
The unshed tears spill over, creating rivulets down her cheeks.
"I love you," she says, but her voice has changed, strengthening with resolve. "I love you, but I wasn't going to screw it up, so I was trying to put in the work. To be more."
Castle doesn't stop her when she takes a step toward him, another.
"I'm sorry." She doesn't touch him, but stands before him, palms up and bare, as if begging. "I should have gone about it all differently, but I - god, I never wanted to hurt you, Rick."
Without thinking, he touches the tear stains on her cheeks, brushing them away with his thumb.
"You don't have to forgive me tonight," she adds softly, staring up at him with tired eyes. "You can stay angry for a while. Just don't - don't give up on me yet."
Shit, she was breaking his heart, siphoning all his resolve.
His fingers slide into her hair, cradling the back of her skull.
"I would never." Her eyes flutter in what looks like relief. "I get it, I do. I just..."
"Hate it," she mumbles, the corner of her mouth twitching ever so slightly.
He shrugs. "I wish we could have done it a little differently, yeah. But I'm not going to hold it against you, Kate, I just need time to process it all."
She nods, her lips pursing resolutely. "Of course."
Her head turns toward the door, but he snags her fingers. She looks to him in askance.
"Will you stay?"
She hesitates. "What about time and space?"
"I didn't say anything about space."
She is not nearly as anxious to crawl into bed with him this time, her body settling beside him without preamble and her arms twining around his torso.
"We're okay, Kate," he promises her, burying the words in her hair as her nose touches his throat and one of her ankles hooks around his.
He rubs her back, tracing the line of her spine through another one of his t-shirts. Eventually, the taut arrangement of bones begins to relax beneath his ministrations and her breathing evens out, her body slack in his arms.
He tries to sleep, but despite all she said, all that has happened over the course of the last few hours, he can't tear his thoughts away from the fact that she loves him. And she said it out loud.
-
Most of the following nights are spent with her appearing on his doorstep or his on hers, the hour often late, but her smile is always worth it. The first time she opened her door to him, after a night of being dressed up for a stint with Colin Hunt - he hated that guy - she was beaming.
"I thought you'd be at home brooding," she'd chuckled, locking the door behind him, pleasing him with her intent to keep him there. "I was about to come to you."
"No, I couldn't wait that long," he admitted, hanging his coat on one of the empty hooks. "I was kinda hoping you'd still be in that dress."
Kate had huffed a laugh, already dressed down in one of the t-shirts she had stolen from him. He had yet to call her out on it because he didn't want to give her a reason to stop.
"Don't worry, Castle," she teased, lifting her hand to his cheek. "I'll save it for another time."
His brow arced at that. "That statement is heavy with implication."
"It was intended to be," she grinned, sauntering to her bedroom.
He had to bring up the case to keep himself occupied after that, but the way she looked at him every time he insulted Mr. Scotland Yard almost made it worse.
Oh yeah, Kate Beckett definitely wanted him. But until she made the next move, he would wait. He wasn't taking any risk of moving too fast when it came to her. Not when he knew this time would be for keeps.
-
The evening they solve the zombie case, she vows to appear at his loft, teasing him that he'll never get that makeup off without her help. He has a laser tag game planned with Alexis that turns into the icing on the cake of his day, with his daughter announcing she will be attending Columbia for college.
Most of his makeup has been scrubbed off, the costume gone, when Kate knocks on the front door.
Alexis glances up from washing the dishes, her brow furrowed. "Were we expecting anyone this late?"
"Just Kate." He tries for nonchalance, but Alexis eyes him with both intrigue and wariness as he starts for the door.
When Castle opens it, she's on the other side as promised. She's changed from her leather jacket and jeans to a soft sweater and yoga pants, looking warm and inviting at his doorstep.
"Oh look, you did a pretty good job," she chuckles, reaching for his nearly cleansed cheek, stroking the bone there.
"I don't know if you'll have better luck," he admits. "Prosthetics and stage makeup leave quite the mark."
"Well," she grins, tapping the bag on her arm. "I brought an extra strength cleanser, so we'll give it a shot."
The water from the kitchen sink is still running, catching her attention. Alexis's presence is likely visible from the doorway, the clinking of dishes going into the dishwasher pointedly loud. He feels nervous but hopeful as he watches Kate determine what to do next.
She lowers her hand from his cheek and bites her bottom lip. "Am I too early?"
"No, not at all." He extends his hand for hers and she slips her fingers into the cove of his, allowing him to guide her inside.
-
"I think she hates me a little less," Kate murmurs, her eyes following the work of the cotton pad she swipes along his skin.
She and Alexis spoke briefly before his daughter went up to bed. Kate had lingered before following him to his en suite bathroom, watching the stairs his daughter had disappeared up with worry lining her face.
"She never hated you," he grunts, wincing when she has to scrub at a spot on his forehead with a little too much vigor. She's been wiping makeup from his skin for the last twenty minutes, standing in front of him while he perched on the edge of his bathtub in his pajamas. "She was upset with me."
"And she's a protective daughter. Trust me, I get it," she assures him gently. Her thumb skims the curve of his eyebrow and he opens his eyes to find her studying him. "I think I should go home tonight, Rick."
He eases his hands onto her hips, watching her brow arch in response.
"I don't want to rush things with Alexis," she elaborates, tossing the cotton pad into the trash and reaching for a clean hand towel.
She dries his face with tender brushes.
"She is unaware you've stayed here at all," he reasons. "I doubt tonight would be any different. Besides, it's late."
"Castle, it's ten," she chuckles, but she hasn't shoved his hands from the resting place of her hipbones. "There's no reason for me to stay."
"No?" He rises slowly from the edge of the tub, holding her gaze the entire time. "What if I need you?"
Her nostrils flare ever so subtly, a tell he's picked up on. She's struggling to ignore him.
"Cuddling is part of our healing journey, Beckett."
She rolls her eyes and shoves on his chest, but doesn't fight the tug of his hand on her arm, the offering of his clothes, his bed.
-
Castle's eyes flutter open. It's barely light out and it's early, he can tell that much upon waking. But something has woken him, the featherlight dance of a touch to his cheek.
As his vision focuses, he sees Kate lying beside him, her fingers migrating from his face to comb through his hair.
He hums and shifts closer to her, burrowing into the warmth of her body.
Her arms wrap around his neck while his band around her spine. Their legs are tangled and her lips are moving against his ear.
"I gotta go," she whispers, turning her head to graze a kiss to his temple.
He sighs and loosens his grip on her, allows her to untangle their limbs.
"See you in a few hours?" she murmurs, one of her hands still reluctant to leave him, draped along his jaw.
"Of course," he yawns, gazing up at her from his pillow.
She bites her bottom lip for a second before leaning forward, lingering there before tilting her head, dusting her mouth to his. Instantly, his senses come alive under the electricity of her lips.
Castle's arms stall in their retreat from her body, reclaiming their hold on her again.
A smile blooms on her mouth before she's kissing him with more confidence, fitting the curve of her lips to his. He hums in response, kisses her back, and feels her body canting into his.
"Mm, Beckett, you make it hard to let you go," he grumbles, feeling more than hearing the rumble of her laughter.
She stains another kiss to his mouth, mumbling a last farewell against the corner of his mouth before regretfully pulling her body from the bed.
-
The storm batters against his windows, lightning illuminating his office as he deletes the murder board on his screen, Kate's face disappearing with the tap of his fingers.
They fought last night in her apartment, his love for her used like a bargaining chip for her life, and it wasn't enough.
He's done. He loves her with a fierce strength and softness, in ways he's never loved anyone else, but he can't watch her throw her life away.
It'll just hurt more.
No, he would rather try and gain as much distance as he can before he gets the call that Kate has become the latest to fall victim to the Dragon's wrath.
The knocking on his door begins with vigor.
He pauses, unsure. His first thought is that it must be Kate and the last thing he wants is another argument. But, it could also be Alexis. He turned his phone off after the third consistent ring with Kate's number flashing across the screen. What if his daughter needed him?
Shit.
He curses himself for his ignorance, vowing to turn the phone back on as soon as he checks the door.
Rick composes his expression, ensuring he doesn't look as hassled as he feels, not wanting to alarm his daughter on her special night if it is her.
He unlocks the door, tugs it open, and feels all of that hard work immediately fall, frown returning instantly at the sight of Kate Beckett.
She's soaked to the skin, dripping rain all over the carpeted hall of the building and the entryway to his loft.
"Beckett," he sighs, his fingers already clenching around the door's edge. "What do you want?"
"You," she whispers, breaching the slim space the door allows and reaching for him.
His body betrays him, moving too slowly to block the ascent of her hands to his face, the rise of her body into his, the adamant press of her mouth.
"You had that," he grunts into her kiss before prying her hands from his cheeks. But he doesn't let her go, he can't. So he holds her captured wrists to his chest, studies the desperate features lining her face, the trembling form of her body. "What happened?"
"He got away," she rasps, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "And I didn't care."
Traitorous hope seeps through the cracks of his heart.
"I almost died and all I could think about was you," she breathes, her head shaking as her gaze roams his face, taking him in as if seeing for the first time. Seeing him clearly. "I'm so sorry, Castle. You were right and I'm - I'm sorry."
Her wrists rotate in his loosened grasp, fingers climbing to bridge at the back of his neck. Her toes arch, lifting her body to meet his, allowing her lips to ghost over his.
"I love you." The words sound sacred falling from her mouth onto his. "I'm sorry I didn't treat you like it."
He suffers only a split moment of indecision - he loves her back, he always will, even though she scares the shit out of him.
Castle layers his mouth over hers, swallows the moan she exhales at the bruise of his kiss, the surge of his body using hers to shut the door. Kate cradles his head in her hands as he kisses her, the tenderness of all the nights before, of the last kiss she graced him with, gone in favor of the brutal fall of his mouth upon hers, the needful crush of his bones into hers.
She doesn't seem to mind, every scrape of his teeth, press of his palm, and grip of his fingers being returned with fervor.
His hands tangle in her hair, wet and dripping down his bare forearms, tilting her face upwards. She gasps when his tongue slides past her parted lips, swiping along hers and exploring the cove of her mouth like he's always wanted to. They've kissed like this before, frenzied and frantic in a darkened parking lot under the ruse of saving Ryan and Esposito, but there was still an ounce of restraint alive then. She had a boyfriend and he was desperate to show her how good they could be together, but they were allowed so little time, so much uncertainty.
Not tonight.
Her head drops back against the door as he skates lips and teeth along her jaw, down her neck. Her arms are clinging to him, her hips clashing with his, as if she can't keep him close enough.
He slows, though, when he reaches the bared flesh of her chest, the scarred skin between her breasts. His thumb skims the spot with reverence, his lips dust there next, feeling her shudder beneath him.
She whimpers as he travels his mouth up her skin, teeth nipping at her collarbone, tongue slicking along the rain coated flesh of her exposed shoulder, her throat.
"Rick," she breathes, the fingers of one hand fisting in his hair, the other slipping between them to yank at the buttons of his shirt.
Castle slides his hands down her sides, her hips, and curls them around her thighs. She's ready when he lifts her, using her toes to hop into his arms.
He chuckles as her arms wrap around his neck and she flips her hair to one side, angling her head to kiss him again.
"Eager, Beckett?" he smirks into her mouth, digging his fingers into her ass as she takes his bottom lip between her teeth.
"Yes," she admits without hesitation, letting him go for a split second to shrug the sopping leather jacket from her shoulders.
It hits the floor with a wet slap, but he can't be bothered to care. She smiles into the next kiss she lays upon his mouth, her happiness tasting like champagne bubbles on his tongue.
"You really love cuddling with me, huh?"
She laughs, tightening her thighs around his waist as they start for his bedroom.
"I plan to do more than cuddle with you tonight, Castle." Her thumb traces the bone of his cheek. "Think you can handle it?"
Her eyes are sparkling, gold flashing excitement rippling through her irises.
Castle kicks the door of his office shut with his foot and carries her into the bedroom.
"The real question is, can you? If you're planning to be up with the sun-"
"No," she cuts him off, kissing him quickly before he can lower them to the bed. He bends to lay her across the mattress, the bracket of her thighs drawing down him into the cradle of her hips. "I don't plan to leave early."
"Oh?" he muses, brushing back the damp strands of hair from her cheeks.
Her fingers thread through his hair, trickle down his neck, and trail along his spine, sending a shiver through him. Her eyes wander across his face, as if studying every feature, lips settling into a soft smile.
"I want to stay," she whispers, like it's a secret.
"Then please," he murmurs, resting his forehead to hers for a moment, breathing into the thin space between them. "Stay."
#castle fanfiction#castle fanfic#kate beckett#richard castle#castle au#castle#mine#this feels so choppy#it's been too long since I've had the time to write for fun#hopefully you enjoy anon!
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Re: Daniel's flashback of Armand
I know our minds jumped to the "Armand is Alice" theory. At least, mine did. But that explains nothing about why Daniel thinks of that specific memory. It seems like such a non-sequitur, him remembering a story about selling his dad's dirty magazines in middle school. What's also weird is Armand telling him about it.
We know the original interview was traumatic for Daniel, so I have two theories:
Armand is trying to calm Daniel down from some kind of panic by using grounding techniques. This would be weird because grounding techniques are usually a lot more physical, involving the senses to bring one back to the present reality. Why this would be relevant to his proposal memories, I'm not sure.
Armand has Daniel in a state of hypnosis and is implanting a memory. Why is he implanting a memory about selling dirty magazines? No clue. It doesn't seem like it serves a purpose--unless it's part of a larger narrative.
My usual problem with the "Armand is lying about everything" assumption is that Armand and vampires in general in the books don't do that much lying. Like, they'll do these short-term deceptions (see the second half of Blood Communion), but big ongoing lies are kind of a shit idea when you're immortal because you have to keep up with the lie forever. Armand does lie to Louis about Lestat being dead, and to Lestat about Louis being dead, but other than that, he doesn't do a lot of deliberate misrepresentation of the facts. Self-delusions, denial, hiding shit, but not straight-up lies. This same issue applies to the idea that Armand has been creating false memories for people willy-nilly. Which, I don't think I've seen anyone claim he is doing it willy-nilly, but one can get the impression scrolling through Tumblr seeing various people point to various scenes as being made up by Armand that everyone all the time thinks everything that doesn't make sense to them is Armand dicking with memories again.
However, in this case, Louis and Armand were never supposed to see Daniel again. They can't just rewrite his entire life, obviously, because too many people have met/know Daniel and would be like, "Dude, that so did not happen, what is wrong with you?" but if for some reason they made some big mistake during the interview and needed to fix it, they could impart some kind of narrative that couldn't be disputed or verified by anyone who knows him.
Armand also delivers the "she wanted to say yes" speech with a similar tone, but there's a warmth to it. He doesn't seem particularly emotional, although he's also not the most naturally emotive person. But with how good Assad is at subtle acting, I feel like if Armand was actually talking about himself, there would be some kind of hint to it. Instead, it just seems like Armand feels badly for Daniel (who, let's be fair, was being pretty horrible to Louis) and is trying to comfort him. Still a Devil's Minion hint either way. Armand, at least in the books, doesn't give a shit about randos he has no attachment to getting their feelings hurt. If he wants to comfort Daniel, it's because he's gotten attached.
It's in the flashback that Armand looks emotional. And I want to know why.
But yeah, I think that could be why Daniel flashed back to that weird moment. This prodding about Alice is making him remember some fuckery.
That being said, we still don't have much evidence that this is even a power that exists for these vampires. Maybe Fiction Hypnosis could do it, but idk. We'll see.
#armand#daniel molloy#louis de pointe du lac#iwtv#iwtv amc#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv s2#iwtv spoilers
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I had to make a BIG post going over everything that's got my brain whirring after watching the story trailer - it's all my speculation and personal opinion so don't take it as fact yada yada IT'S FUN SPECULATION TIME
(I'll put it under the cut bc this is gonna be a LONG one)
“Miquella the kind spoke of the beginning. The seduction. And the betrayal. An affair from which Gold arose. And so too was Shadow born."
My interpretation of this scene is that we are seeing the creation of the Golden Order by Marika. She plucks grace from something dead and fleshy, and holds it up to the Greater Will, beckoning in her new age. It would make sense to me, considering the voiceover, that this is a dead god that has been betrayed by Marika so she can pursue her Order and claim power. It does like quite reminiscent of Kos from Bloodborne to me. The fleshiness of the corpse also reminds me of the godskins/snakeskin. However, I don't believe this is the Gloam Eyed Queen. From my understanding of the timeline (mainly thanks to @eldenringslut) the GEQ didn't come about until later on during Marika's reign - if we are seeing the creation of the GO, and my understanding of the timeline is correct, I don't think it would make sense for this to be the GEQ. I can't deny different aspects of this do allude to things related to her though - the dusky sky, the godskin-like flesh. But I almost think that would be too 'perfect' for it to fit together like that, especially with how much people want to know more about the GEQ, I think fromsoft would want to keep us in the dark and surprise us. Whatever we are seeing here, Gold and Shadow seemingly came about at the same time.
We get our first look at what appears to be Messmer's army. They appear to all wield spears which ties into Messmer's whole Impaler thing, along with the shot of the person(?) impaled on the steps. I wonder who these people were, if they had to stay in the Shadow Realm after the battle was done (if it is?). I find the design on the helmet interesting - at first glance I thought it could be a tree or roots, but actually doesn't it kind of remind you of the black tendrils that shoot out of Messmer's flame? I think it could be either, or both, or maybe it's a chicken and egg situation and they're related somehow... my first thought when the initial gameplay trailer came out was that the dark tendrils in Messmer's flame could be deathroot or something similar to that. Maybe I wasn't far off?
We get our first shot of Messmer here. His pose pretty much solidifies to me that this is his army - this is the pose of a character commanding an army. It's so classic fantasy, the composition and everything, I love it. Messmer is awesome. I'm obsessed with the snake-like flames flying above the carnage.
"What followed was a war unseen. One that could never be put to song. A purge without Grace, or honour. The tyranny of Messmer's flame."
My take on this is that once Marika had won her battle/betrayed the God we see her pluck Grace from, she had her opponents banished and/or wiped out at the hands of Messmer. I have to say, it does surprise me that it seems Messmer was around and fully grown at the creation of Marika's Order. The implications there leave me with so many questions. Who is his other parent? Marika is Numen, and they seldom give birth. This is not an insignificant thing for her to have a child, especially if the theory of births being governed by the Erdtree/Golden Order is to be believed, and this must have came about before then. It would also go against the idea that Messmer is the full brother/secret triplet of Miquella and Malenia, considering that Miq + Mal were not born until Marika had left Godfrey for Radagon. I find that detail so intriguing... especially because I was so on board with the butterfly theories.
No idea who this is, but they're cool and that definitely looks like the kind of weapon we'd be able to pick up. It just looks like a PVP weapon, know what I mean? Very reminiscent of Vyke as well imo, similar pose to the box art of him along with the billowing cape. This reminds me, I'm noticing an emphasis on hair in this trailer too - I never took much note of Marika's hair before but in this trailer there was a lot of emphasis put on how long it is, how similar it is to threads of Grace, and Miquella's hair too. It's making me think of the bible story of Samson but let me not go too off the rails
Here we have some of the coolest shots in the trailer imo. This posits the Lion/Omens as enemies of Messmer to me - which to me supports the view that Messmer is aligned with Marika. The Lion/Omens always came off to me as if they were making a mockery of the GO - positioning themselves as enemies to Marika/the GO. We get another good look at his Flame, with the tendrils. They almost remind me of thorns actually. That final shot looks like a victory scene to me. It also really hammers home the Impaler thing. The man knows his brand!
Then we pan up to see what hangs above this burned city - this 'shadow tree'. THIS IS MARIKA'S RUNE.
I think we are seeing the origins of her rune as part of the modern Elden Ring here - Grace/blessings dripping from the bough of this tree. I have to say given the imagery relating to motherhood on the run up to the DLC, the rune does look vaguely yonic, especially on the seals. I think references to motherhood are in this trailer too - Marika taking something from a fleshy orifice with a voiceover talking about seduction, I can't imagine that wasn't intentional. So far the main character we have seen is her child, after all. The whole story of Elden Ring revolves around Marika's children. I have a feeling Marika's relation to motherhood and childbearing is going to be a big theme in the DLC.
I remember when the first gameplay trailer dropped, people theorised that this was Ranni's rune, and I was happy to believe that because of the similarities to Rennala's rune. But now I believe it's Miquella's rune, for several reasons, one being it reminds me of Malenia's rune, and they are twins after all. Although Rennala and Malenia's runes are oddly similar, it just makes more sense to me that it would be Miquella's, considering we are following in his footsteps. I think these rune spikes are going to be our DLC equivalents of sites of grace.
"And so kindly Miquella would abandon everything. His golden flesh, his blinding strength..."
Abandoning his flesh is very reminiscent of Ranni... but why would he need to abandon his flesh? Perhaps after Mohg stole him away? Though I have to say, I'm warming up the idea that Mohg never actually had Miquella, he just thought he did. That might not make sense considering that body in Mohg's palace is how we get to the Shadow Lands, but I don't know, something about it doesn't sit quite right with me for some reason. The line 'his blinding strength' is a bit odd. I can't take credit for this next idea, I saw it on twitter, but someone suggested that this is referencing him potentially abandoning Malenia - his strength, his blade. For Miquella to abandon Malenia though, it doesn't exactly align with what we know of his character. This is the person that turned his back on the GO because it could do nothing for Malenia's sickness. He'd need a really good reason to do that to her. Maybe it was his only option? I'm so intrigued about why Miquella is even in the Shadow Lands to begin with. What are his motivations? Perhaps it's something to do with his proclivity to want to welcome all, especially those outside of Grace, I suppose those in the shadow lands fall under that mantle.
"Even his fate."
Now THIS is super interesting - our first look at St. Trina! In her usual purple - associated with sleep. It does also look like she's sleeping here, sinking... What on earth does it mean to say that Miquella abandoned his fate as we are shown an image of St. Trina? Was he meant to eventually become Trina fully? We don't know much about her, but we do know Trina is an aspect/alter-ego of some sort of Miquella. Considering his parents were one in the same body, it's not a stretch to assume this could be the same case here. But in Marika/Radagon's case, it doesn't seem completely intentional - with the Ring shattering, I always got the impression they each fought to be in control of their singular body. Perhaps Miquella/Trina worked together rather than against each other? The queer part of me can't help but think of some kind of allegory to transition and Miquella having to walk away from it for whatever reason... but I really don't know enough to figure anything out from this.
I saw someone point out that this shot of Trina looks like Trina's lilies too, which is super cool (sorry I don't remember who that was).
"But we are not deterred. We choose to follow. Will you walk with us?"
I'm honestly surprised to see all these characters that we saw in the previous trailer just hanging out, I assumed they'd all be enemies of different factions. But here they look like allies, and from the voiceover they sound like it too, asking if we will join them. I think the voiceover is one of these NPCs. Seeing the fighting guy second on the left has got me super excited, what if he teaches us the hands-on combat we saw him do in the first trailer? I also think the crouching character on the right is the one we saw sleeping in the purple area (Trina?) from the last trailer:
Anyway, these are my thoughts, I hope they resonate in one way or another. I can't wait to come back in a couple months and see how wrong I was <3 yayyy
#i spent 2 hours putting this together and i'm meant to be sleeping#the brain rot is SO fucking real#i'm too tired to proofread so if i spelled anything wrong no i didn't#loreposting#elden ring#sote#shadow of the erdtree#messmer the impaler#numen#marika the eternal#marika#miquella#st. trina#elden ring shadow of the erdtree#elden lore#fromsoft
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I think one of Ever After High's biggest problems is the lack of characters and/or the lack of commitment to the rebel and royals tension. (Also this is coming from someone who has only really watched what's on Netflix. I have seen everything but I have just watched the Netflix specials wayyyyy more)
But what I mean by that is there will be moments when our main characters will be really hostile towards each other. Like during Legacy Day when all the royals were booing at Raven for not signing the book. Or the cafeteria fight after Legacy Day. Which makes a ton of sense for the plot of EAH. However, there are also a lot of moments when the rebels and royals are friendly with each other. That doesn't make a ton of sense when compared with the two instances I mentioned earlier. An example of this would be in Briar's Study Party, where they are all studying and dancing together. I just think it's strange. Also I'm not really thinking about Apple in all of this. She feels like a special case. I'm more so thinking about Briar, Ashlynn, Dexter, Blondie, Daring.
So I think in order to remedy this there are two options. Maybe even three. I'm also going to be focus on the royals more in this because I think my problems really lie with them.
Option 1: add more side characters that are the hostile ones during scenes like Legacy Day and the cafeteria fight. (Specifically royals) That way, our main characters like Brair and Ashlynn don't seem fake when interacting with characters like Raven, Maddie or Cedar outside of the scenes.
Option 2: make the royal characters specifically be mean/rude/hostile whatever to the rebels all the time. Some ways I would incorporate it into scenes already present in the show would be: when Apple and Raven are going to find a new mirror (which they go to all royals) have the royals they go to be curt with Raven. Or the look on their faces turns into a frown whenever they see her. So we can keep up the rebel vs royal and make it seem more believable.
Option 3: make the royal vs rebel tension a complete facade. A facade they only keep up around teachers or their parents. I guess one could potentially make an argument that this is kinda what the show is doing already, but not really. Because you have characters like Blondie who does everything to be consider a royal or Apple's whole thing she's got going on. It's obvious that the tension is truly there, especially with scenes like the cafeteria fight who would they have been pretending for? There were no teachers or parents there. They genuinely were fighting. So in order to make if feel like a facade I would have a scene where characters admit that they don't feel any hostility towards the other side but feel as though they need to act like they do. That would explain scenes like the booing at Legacy Day. And if you put some teachers in the cafeteria when the fight happened, it would also make more sense. But just to make it a little more interesting I would have scenes with the rebels feelings being hurt. Like Raven feeling absolutely awful after Legacy Day and refusing to talk to Dexter afterward because he was booing too. Also this pretending would primarily fall with the royals because I feel like it benefits them the most but we can have some scenes were the rebels do it too.
But those are my thoughts on that. I've always thought the characters' relationship was weird. Ever since I was a little kid. Also this is not a complaint about the show. I love this show so so so so much. It's one of my favorites ever.
#ever after high#eah royal#eah rebel#eah#raven queen#ashlynn ella#briar beauty#dexter charming#daring charming#apple white#blondie lockes#this is kinda a rant#but kinda an genuine criticism of the show
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Buddie: 4x13 Recap in preparation for 7x9 (other ships included too)
Ok... I'm intrigued for the last two episodes now after reading the journalists' commentary who've previewed the episode. MG said 7x9 and 7x10 should have been billed as a two part finale and the GIF he used to describe it in one word was "Pain". Also, KP said it seems like they're picking up "old threads" that weren't properly explored. Well... I REMEMBER THERE'S A LOT THAT WASN'T EXPLORED BETWEEN BUCK AND EDDIE 👀 (more on them below).
I've been thinking about 4x13 and the whereabouts of all the 'ships during that episode to parallel them with 7x9 and here goes. (Buddie is last just like they were at the end of 4x13).
Bathena
4x13 - Bobby and Athena were on the outs because in 4x12, Athena mentioned after she was attacked by Jeffrey in 3x17, she was offered early retirement but she turned it down. She never told Bobby about it. They ARGUED for the first time in 4x13 and they were still arguing when Hen called Bobby in 4x14 to tell him Eddie had been shot.
7x9 - Bobby's struggling with his past and Athena's worried about him just like she was worried in 4x13 that he was hiding something from her. It's possible from the 7x9 sneak peek that Bobby might be having delusions of someone being after him.
Henren
4x13 - Toni (Hen's mother) got sick and she fainted. Hen's medical school classmates helped her figure out what was wrong with her. After she was admitted to the hospital, Toni told Hen, the medical field needed more African American doctors.
7x9 - Hen and Karen have a foster child named Mara. Reminder, they had just given Nia back to her mother earlier in season 4 and Hen struggled with it because she didn't want her to go back to Evangeline.
Madney
4x13 - Maddie was struggling with PPD and she was going through it. She was still going to work but Chimney wasn't aware of how much she was struggling until she told him. Maddie quit her job in 4x14 and in 7x7 she told Amir she used to be a nurse.
After 7x6, Madney is in a happy place so it's unclear what, if anything, they could be struggling with in 7x9.
Buddie
4x13 - Buck and Eddie’s storylines were the most intense, the most intertwined and the biggest. Reminder, Eddie didn't breakup with AF after Carla told him to follow his heart and not Chris'.
AF found out Charlie's mother was swindling people out of their money which led to Eddie figuring out she was poisoning him.
He told Buck and Chimney about it and Buck didn't even put on his uniform, he just left with Eddie.
Captain Jeshan Mehta and the 133 were dispatched to the call and Buck drove the Batallion SUV to the scene with Eddie in the passenger's seat.
Then the 3 minutes and 17 seconds that changed everything. It showed the audience that Buck and Eddie are in love with each other and if they missed it, they should rewatch the episode.
Eddie reached for Buck and in 4x14, he asked him if he was hurt.
7x9 - Eddie didn't breakup with Maris*l in 7x5 like he should have the same way he didn't breakup with AF in 4x13 like he should have.
The 133 will be on a scene in 7x9 or 7x10 and it'll be interesting to see if Captain Mehta will be there too.
Also, Eddie’s either having delusions that the woman he met either looks like Shannon or he thinks she does. This parallel with Bobby appears to be mental instead of physical this time, so if history is about to repeat itself, then it's likely Bobby and Eddie could both be suffering from delusions. Reminder, Bathena and Buddie ALWAYS PARALLEL EACH OTHER.
If TM is really about to redo a scene for Buck and Eddie that will rival the shooting and explore EVERYTHING THE F*X NETWORK WOULDN'T LET HIM DO WITH BUCK AND EDDIE THREE YEARS AGO THEN... THIS IS ABOUT TO BE EPIC!
IYKYK Buck and Eddie are in love with each other and if Eddie gets hurt again, EVERYBODY IS GOING TO SEE IT THIS TIME INCLUDING T*MMY, HELENA, RAMON AND THE 118.
The will was revealed in 4x14 and maybe it's meaning will be explored in 7x10 along with the reason why Eddie waited a whole year to tell Buck about it. It's possible it will come into play again before the end of the season, especially if Eddie's badly injured this time and the Diaz parents show up. If Helena thinks she's taking Chris to El Paso with them, she'll be WRONG because Buck’s his legal guardian.
Reminder, the 133 was there the last time but this time they'll be with their found family and Buck can't hide his feelings for Eddie, like EVER especially when he's injured or hurt.
In 7x6, the foreshadowing was there when he thought Eddie was dead while he was lying in the bathtub.
These are pictures of Buck’s face whenever Eddie’s hurt.
T*mmy doesn't have a chance with Buck because Buck and Eddie gave each other their hearts a long time ago and I can't wait until T*mmy sees it with his own eyes so he'll be gone. He won't be able to pretend Buck was trying to get his attention anymore because Buck’s going to go nuts if Eddie's hurt again. His heart will be on full display and there won't be any denying who he loves.
Buck loves Eddie Diaz and Eddie loves Evan Buckley!
I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE!
#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#madney#maddie buckley#chimney han#bathena#bobby nash#athena grant#henren#hen wilson#911 abc#911 on abc#911 meta#911 spoilers#911 season 7#911 season 7 speculation#911 speculation
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I’ve pretty much already said everything i want to about Polin part one so here’s my take on what could happen with them in part two:
So obviously based on the teaser it is safe to say that Penelope is gonna accept his proposal and in that happiness she’s gonna forget all about the whistledown sized elephant in the room. Until eloise mentions it to her privately.
Then I think we might get a few fake-out scenes where she might tell him but something always comes up and she never gets to finish her sentence
I think since episode 6 is called romanicing mister Bridgerton that that might be the reveal but she won’t tell him, he’ll catch her trying to print an issue and that’ll lead to an argument the next episode or scene depending at which point in the episode colin finds out.
Ultimately i think Colin might break off the engagement for all of five seconds and then after really getting to think about their relationship and all the moments in it, he’s gonna come back to her, re-propose and tell her he loves her for the first time, all of her. Then we get Penelope telling him she’s loved him all her life and hopefully, fingers crossed, we get some good ol’ mirror sex to either bruno mars just the way you are or cyndi laupers true colors
And i think their wedding might be in episode eight wether it’s the end or beginning of the episode. I truly don’t believe any of the cheating rumors that have been coursing around through this app because never in a million years would that man, who desperately broke up a courtship, got on his knees in front of the woman he loved and begged her to give him a chance, throw all that away just because he was angry because essentially their love is stronger than that and he’s gonna realize he loves all the parts of her the good, the bad, the ugly (there are none don’t worry), the beautiful.
That’s my take on part two and i severely think if we do not get an quartet string cover of marry you playing during polin’s wedding it will have been a fail.
Also I heard there’s like a game night scene in one of the later episodes which colin colossally sucks at but Penelope seems to excel at and now all i can think about is the Bridgerton-in-laws teaming up against their significant others but they (the bridgertons) don’t even want to win anymore because they’re just so horned up by their intellect (competitive as fuck but once their S/O’s get their brains on, they just want to get their pants off)
#bridgerton#season 3#polin#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#colin x penelope#season 3 part two speculation#based on the teaser and rumours#ranty post
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Together Strong
Pairing: Noa x Mae
A/N: Help, I've fallen and I can't get up. Just a short drabble inspired by a scene from Avatar that refused to leave my mind.
--
It was hard to believe the war for world domination was over for now--harder, even, to think how much had changed since the first time Mae had stepped into this ruined observatory and gazed upon the stars.
Like that fateful night, the sky was dark and cloudless, glittering with stars and the promise of a brighter future. Mae had been wrong, then. The world did not belong to the humans--it belonged to humans and apes, and together they would need to navigate this new age.
The Eagle Clan had tripled in size, and was now established as one of the leading territories. The Clan had chosen a new Master of Birds and Warlord, which called for a celebration. Mae had never known what it was like--to feast and laugh and tell stories over bonfires. To listen to the beating of drums and chants of song.
The festivities that followed the ceremony would last long through the night, and she had needed a moment of quiet, seeking this long forgotten place beneath the stars.
As Mae moved toward the telescope, she heard him enter, intentionally making himself known as to not startle her. But he did not speak. She wondered when he had noticed she had slipped away; he always seemed keenly aware of where she was, just as she was of him.
The past few weeks--months, really--had been nothing but plotting and planning and fighting. There had been blood, and death, and little time to talk about much else but war and peace. Mae did not mind. It let her avoid the truths she feared to acknowledge.
But she knew she could longer avoid them.
"It feels like ages since we were here," she said finally, a hand trailing over the cool bite of metal. "You are the Master of Birds now." She dug a finger into a groove, feeling moist dirt there. "Anaya says you will make a bow from the wood of the tallest tree." She paused. "And you will choose a mate."
Noa said nothing, watching her from the shadows in that silent, still way of his.
For some reason, Mae could not look at him, even though she could hardly look away during the ceremony. He had been covered in dark blue and white woad, adorned in armor that made him look more a knight than an ape. Master of Birds and Warlord. A leader.
Mae reached up to the necklace she always wore, her fingers playing with Raka's medallion--the symbol of peace and strength. "Nina is a good singer," she admitted. The female was one of the best in the clan, taming even the most wild of eagles.
A beat of silence. And then Noa said, his voice drifting from the shadows, "I do not want...Nina."
Mae suppressed a smile, but it quickly faded. "Soona is a good hunter. And an even better friend." And you were born within a sunset.
Another beat of quiet. And then--
"She is...all those things." He paused. "And family."
Mae stilled, not just at his words, but because he had snuck up behind her. She turned, half dreading what she might find. Noa stood at his full height, intimidating in his warrior's garb. He was hardened from war, but his eyes were still soft as he looked at her.
"But I have...already chosen," Noa went on gently. He reached out, his large hand covering hers over the medallion, his eyes bright. "But this woman...this...Nova...must also choose me."
Mae smiled at him, blinking back tears. "She already has."
His lips parted slightly, almost in disbelief. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers, his strong hands finding the back of her neck.
"You choose...this?" he breathed. "You choose...Eagle Clan? Me?"
He had once asked her if apes and humans could live together. Then, she had not known. But now, she could see no other future. Noa and Raka, Soona and Anaya and the others, even the humans that had joined their forces, they were family now.
"Yes," Mae answered. "Our cause is important. What we have built is important." She reached up, cupping his cheek. "You are important. To me."
His hands tightened on her neck, no doubt remembering those words, how he had said them to her on the battlefield when he had begged her to run. She refused. She would not leave him and the others then, and she would not leave them now.
Mae closed her eyes. "Together," she went on, "strong."
"Together," Noa echoed, his voice a promise, "strong."
And as they stood there under the stars, ape and human but somehow twin souls, Mae knew, no matter what the future held, they would face it side by side.
Together.
#nomae#noamae#noa x mae#crimsonmoonlightfic#Yes Raka lives how could he not#please be kind its just fanfic
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Hey, it's the DM anon. Sorry if I come off as too pessimistic, but I just want to address the reblog post
"Armand in the show doesn't need someone to introduce him to the modern world. He's already familiar with it."
This was kinda the point of my message. The main reason why the Devils Minion chapter is so popular is because it's not just a cat & mouse thriller; it's also a sitcom about a "normal" boy teaching a powerful 500 yr old immortal all about the modern world - the perfect blend of horror & romantic comedy. Logically I always knew that some of the relationship would be cut or altered when they adapted it to the show, but it looks like they're cutting all of the fan favorite scenes. (I will forever be bitter about losing 'Call Paris for me')
My fear is that the writers will change everything that made Devils Minion, Devils Minion. Whatever relationship Armand & Daniel have on the show will be brand new. I may be jumping the gun, but they've already changed the 2 reasons why Armand chose Daniel as his human companion in the first place:
1. He needed someone to teach him about the modern world and as the reblog stated, he no longer needs that. Which means we also won't get my other favorite scene: when Armand drags Daniel out of bed and demands he show him things in the city. He won't need to do that because he will already have explored these cities with Louis
2. He liked that Daniel wasn't afraid to stand up to him. But from everything the show, reviewers, and Eric has told us, '73 Daniel was just a bumbling idiot Yes Man. Where's the challenge?
And now we know that Loumand had several relationships with humans throughout the decades, some of whom got to live out their lives unharmed. So Daniel isn't even special, he's just the latest. Idk how the show expects to sell ArmanDaniel when they've erased everything that made them unique.
I know Assad talked about Armand's fear that Daniel knows Louis more than he does and the reblog thinks that might be the reason Armand falls for Daniel, but I'm nearly positive Assad was talking about Dubai Daniel not SanFran Daniel. The only connection Louis & Daniel seem to have in the 70s is their love of drugs, since one reviewer talked about how they're both fucked up during the first interview. I doubt young Daniel could stay sober long enough to have a meaningful conversation with Louis, let alone a meaningful relationship. So why exactly would Armand be attracted to him? I really hope the writers give us a real reason that's more than just "he likes him in the book. Y'all do the rest"
Anyway, thanks for allowing me to rant
:) All good.
But... I honestly would wait till the season has run. I do trust them when they say episode 5 and 8 are the game changers.
I know it's hard to stay calm when you have waited for so long to see a realization of something at all.
And... I don't think the "you can fuck them and I can eat them" humans (I hope everyone caught that line and that they attributed that to Lestat in s1^^) were anywhere close on the level Daniel will be.
I really don't.
Daniel is definitely special, as the interview in Dubai proves, imho. But... the timeline is different, that's all. Give it some time.
#Anonymous#ask nalyra#iwtv s2#iwtv#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire s2#amc interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire amc#iwtv amc#the devil's minion#armand#daniel molloy#devil's minion
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Do you think Illumi’s comment about how Gon is just dazzling to Killua and a temporary fixation and Hisoka’s line about how transmitters are fickle and their treasures can turn to trash easily were foreshadowing for how Killua has come to see Gon? How at first Gon meant the world to him but now he’s basically done with him because of what happened during the CAA? Togashi could be planning to reunite them, but maybe this was his way of saying that Killua is done with Gon.
Hi! I actually see it in the opposite way to this view, almost.
As the audience I don't think we're supposed to agree with what Illumi is saying--that Killua doesn't deserve to have friends and that he'll ultimately betray them. It doesn't end up matching what happens in the series, nor does it match the overall message of what the series is about, and Illumi is an antagonist whose views the series repeatedly refutes (think: Alluka and how he sees her).
However, I also think that early in the series, Togashi was potentially trying to misdirect the audience with Killua's intentions. Killua early on was much more dangerous and edgy than he becomes as the series goes on, and there were a few pieces of foreshadowing that he might turn on Gon or the main group, which includes Hisoka's statement about Transmuters being fickle and their priorities changing rapidly, as well as Silva making him promise never to betray his friends and then expressing certainty that Killua will come back (as in, he was setting him up for failure because of the needle). There are also a few comparisons of Killua to Hisoka very early on that might fit into this (beyond the Transmuter thing), some even from Killua himself, and the scene with him getting frustrated with the ball game with Netero and then killing those guys as a result.
I believe Togashi laid this expectation down early in the series in order to subvert it and have Killua grow in the opposite direction. Killua felt like a "rival" type character or one who might eventually betray Gon/his friends, but instead he ends up being extraordinarily loyal to Gon (to a fault, even), he gets kinder and emotionally stronger as the series goes on, and he goes to extreme lengths to save Gon even after Gon pushed him away. He actively defies what his family expects of him! Even when he does go back home as Silva predicted, it's in order to break Alluka out of there and leave, and keep his promise to Silva by never betraying his friends--the opposite of what Silva actually wanted to happen when he made that promise with Killua.
Illumi's comment about Gon being "too dazzling for Killua's eyes" actually "comes back" in the form of the You are Light scene, where Killua uses similar language (in the original Japanese version) to describe why he can't look at Gon directly. That whole scene is about Killua comparing himself to Gon and thinking he's not worthy of him. However, Gon ends up falling into darkness himself and only Killua is able to save him--therefore, Killua becomes Gon's "light" right back. Because of what Illumi told Killua and the environment he grew up in, Killua himself didn't have faith in his own ability to be who Gon needed, but he managed it anyway because of how deeply he loves Gon.
He helps break Palm out of her loss of identity after she becomes a Chimera Ant, and becomes Ikalgo's light, too, by befriending him even though they're initially on opposite sides of the war.
We don't know the full reasons for Killua leaving Gon, however I suspect one of the reasons he leaves is in order to protect Gon from Illumi, who very well may pursue and endanger Killua and Alluka. Killua likely also needed a break from Gon after all they went through, but I don't think it'll be forever by any means. I made a post previously about why a reunion and reconciliation between them feels just about inevitable.
So, I absolutely do think those statements about Killua were "planted" intentionally within the series, but for the purpose of him breaking those assumptions rather than living up to them. One of the best things about Killua's character is how he initially seems so much different than he turns out to be. His commitment to and care for those he loves comes from a pure place in spite of the way he was raised, and he grows so much as a person throughout the series. He's a kind and courageous boy. I don't see him leaving Gon as a betrayal or throwing him away or legitimately "replacing" Gon with Alluka--they just came to a point where, for the time being, they had to take diverging paths. But I absolutely think their paths will converge again within the series, assuming Togashi can get that far.
I don't think Togashi is telling a depressing story where these tragic things happen between the two protagonists (who clearly adore each other) and then that's it, their relationship is over and they'll never get to mend the issues between them nor communicate all the things they haven't gotten to say to each other. There's a reason the separation is as brief and complicated as it is--it's intended to leave us with questions, and I believe those questions will be answered someday, assuming the manga is able to reach that point.
#hunter x hunter#hxh#gon#killua#killugon#gonkillu#asks#anonymous#meta#my posts#I feel like this is a bit messy but have it anyway#I also feel like I always end these kinds of posts the same way lol but#I truly do have a lot of hope for their relationship#I really cannot see it in a doomer way after how deeply I've engaged with this series
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Eda Clawthorne and BPD
Eda is a character I never really associated with something like BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder) until I’d done more research on the disorder myself. Initially, I’d had a one size fits all idea in my mind for what a manifestation of BPD could look like.
But after finishing the Owl House in its entirety, and dispelling some of my ignorance around the topic I’ve come to the headcanon that Eda has BPD.
So to start, what I understand about BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder) is that it’s a personality disorder belonging to the cluster B section in the DSM-5.
It’s generally described that people living with it, might engage in risky/self harming behaviour, have an intense fear of abandonment, struggle with addiction, and have unstable/turbulent relationships with others. People with BPD also struggle with an intense feeling of internalised shame and numbness.
BPD usually manifests after some sort of prolonged mental abuse/physical abuse/sexual abuse/ psychological abuse or trauma, and that usually happens in childhood.
Well, what does any of that have to do with Eda? How does her character link in any way to what I've described? Let’s go through it;
(I’m not an expert, this is just a headcanon that I use to look at Eda)
Addiction/Substance Abuse
Eda is implied to be an alcoholic in the show. Apple blood, her infamous favourite drink, is often used as a stand-in or a direct reference to the topic of intoxication or turning to the bottle to cope with big feelings.
Proof of apple blood being an alcohol signal can be when Luz mentions in early S2, that Eda was hard to get off the roof after she drank too much apple blood, implying she became irrational and unreasonable after drinking too much.
Another example is when Eda was seen in a tavern in Eda’s Requiem, she canonically has a large and unpaid tab in that tavern, and was drinking apple blood (from a juice box) while lamenting about the current events of her life.
A scene like that is a heavy reference to the trope of getting drunk and venting to your local bartender that can be seen in a lot of movies and tv-shows.
Eda is also potentially implied to have Depression during the show and is typically grumpy/unapproachable before her first drink, early in the morning.
I’ve headcanons before that Eda uses Apple Blood to self medicate her mood after the implications in season 2 that she is drinking more heavily (the joke about the roof, her chasing free appleblood, drinking in the tavern when she’s sad), and after season1, and during all of season 2 her mental health had taken a clear nose dive after traumatic events and perceived abandonments.
I also mentioned that people with BPD struggle with a feeling of emptiness and numbness, and Eda’s low and irritable mood could be interpreted as coming from a place of feeling hollow. (That’s my headcanon).
Addiction is also considered a risky/self harming behaviour, which leads me to my next point.
Risky/Self Harming behaviours
Eda is an impulsive and risk taking person, that usually contributes to a pretty popular ADHD headcanon for her character, but I’d also like to argue that her risk taking behaviour could also be a sign of BPD, as it typically leads her to dangerous or life threatening situations, often on purpose.
A small example of this is when searching for titan blood, she pushes herself in front of a laser beam and urges King to shoot her with it to trigger her harpy powers. In that episode she was struggling to go harpy mode;
And the episode before that, Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door, she was shown depriving herself of sleep and worrying about not being ready for the day of unity. Eda had proved she was anxious to be ready and willing to hurt herself to be so, stemming from an internal feeling of frustration and worthlessness because she didn’t have what she needed to be ready.
In the cave, I think her action to jump in front of the laser, disguising her actions as a childish and silly request of bone-headedness was her hiding her self-destructive instincts and inner frustration in plain sight.
Her risky behaviours are driven by a deep self hatred and that leads me to her most risky action of all…
Fear of Abandonment
When Eda overhears the kids talking about telling her something, she spirals and assumes the worst. She spends that episode devaluing herself, trying to self-soothe with apple blood, and distancing herself from the kids in response to her assumption that they only have the worst news for her.
Luz is leaving and King wants to live with his dad.
She spends the day living out what appears to be a fantasy with Raine, where she is ‘Mama Eda’ to the younger BATTs members and she and Raine are playfully dancing around each other with some not so subtle flirting. It resembles a family life, where her and Raine are married, or atleast happily together, and the BATTs are like her very own kids that need her.
(it’s key to point out that Raine did most of the heavy flirting and was active, while Eda just bathed herself in the situation. Likely because while it was what she wanted, she’d also expressed earlier in the episode that she felt everyone left her in the end and all good things ended).
When this fanasy/substition falls through and the rebellion is busted, her and Raine play a murder-suicide duet attempt together, where Raine then learns that there’s more to the story than Eda is letting on, and that she isn’t just being motivated to do the heroic thing because she has nothing to lose.
Raine clearly realises Eda is trying to die because she has something to lose, and she assumes she is losing it. Dying to Eda is less painful and scary than being abandoned again.
I mentioned that childhood trauma/abuse can cause BPD to develop, and I’d argue that having a curse that caused the people she loved to leave her because she pushed them away, or because it seemed like her curse made her too monstrous to love, is pretty traumatising.
And that fear of abandonment predates even the curse, as it was revealed in the flashback episode where her and Raine met, that Eda had no friends, was ostracised by her teachers/principle and that she was terrified of being separate from Lilith; her only friend. Eda didn't know what an expulsion would mean for their relationship, if Lilith would still be her best friend, or if Lilith progressed onwards without her, would she abandon Eda?
Well, that worry was validated when it was revealed their sister relationship fell apart sometime between their late teens and mid-forties, when Lilith is introduced as Eda’s rival and Eda’s expression is stormy when she first sees Lilith on screen, it’s laos important to note that Lilith attacked first at the convention with her words, and Eda, having some very stormy feelings about her sister, responds to the greeting by cutting Lilith down in front of young fans in a way she knows will rile up her sister.
She basically attacks Lilith’s mask by mentioning that Lilith peed herself at a convention as a kid, and then proceeds to act childish in Lilith’s presence to wind her up and prove to Lilith that she is no better than Eda and that she’s not changed a bit since they were kids where it counts, according to Lilith.
We don’t know what caused Eda and Lilith to feud like this, but it can be assumed that LIlith joining a coven that allows only two days off a year made Eda feel like she was abandoned by her sister in some of the worst years of her life, by the person she once called her best friend.
The breakdown of such an important relationship would be upsetting to anyone, but to Eda, in the situation she was in, that would have to be further traumatising.
To add to the familial issues, Eda has issues with Gwen.
The entirety of keeping up a-fear-ances was about how gwen had failed both her daughters, but for this post, it’s that Gwen treated the curse, something so integral to Eda and her life at this point, something that Eda cannot change or separate herself from, like something her mom needed to cure her of.
To eradicate. So much so that she disregarded Eda’s bodily autonomy and safety at multiple points in just one episode and caused Eda to snap. She scared Eda into running away as a teenager, and she had to apologise to Eda in that episode for making her daughter feel like she didn’t love her. “I love every part of you.” - to paraphrase what Gwen said.
It’s not hard to imagine that feeling like your own mother would rather risk your health and happiness, disregard your wishes and try to remove an unremovable part of your person, would make you feel more unlovable and broken than you already feel.
I’m sure that this contributed to Eda’s fear of abandonment and would help cultivate the already existing internal shame she feels just for existing next to her loved ones and feeling like she’s not good enough to be in their lives because all she does is hurt them.
Yup, this is setting up my next point…
Shame/Low Sense of Self-Worth
Proof that Eda’s self-worth is low and her inner shame is high comes from how she treats her kids and her father. Eda struggles to look at people she feels she’s let down. While some individuals with BPD might do everything to avoid abandonment, Eda tends to abandon people first and devalues herself in the process, convincing herself she doesn’t deserve to fight for them or be in their company.
Her inner shame mostly stems from how she handles her curse, its impact on her life, and her past relationships. With Luz and King, she initially keeps up a protective wall and avoids physical affection. When she believes they are leaving her, she justifies her suicidal thoughts to Raine by denying her role as their "mother," revealing her deep-seated belief that she's unworthy of such a title.
Despite considering them her children, Eda questions her ability to be a suitable mother figure, expressing doubts about her worthiness. It takes reassurance from Raine for Eda to begin to accept that she is needed and, consequently, good enough.
Her relationship with Dell, though mentioned sparingly, has left lasting scars. Eda blames herself for hurting him and struggles to forgive herself, even when her father asks her to move on from the past.
In Knock Knock-Knocking on Hooty’s Door, Eda implies that she is haunted by nightmares of her breakup with Raine, blaming herself entirely for their breakup. This implied consistent rumination suggests that she feels responsible for every abandonment and rejection she has experienced, exacerbating her inner shame.
Raine was likely the last stable influence in Eda’s life, and her breakup further solidified Eda’s belief that she is the cause of her own abandonment. This cycle of self-blame and perceived rejection has left lasting mental scars, reinforcing Eda’s sense of brokenness and perpetuating her feelings of endless abandonment.
By examining Eda’s behaviour and internal struggles, it becomes evident that her shame and low sense of self-worth are deeply ingrained, shaping her relationships and interactions throughout the series.
Splitting
I can’t really talk about a BPD headcanon without mentioning its most famous feature. Splitting, from what I understand, is when a person's mood, sense of self, or perception of others shifts dramatically in the other direction in response to a threat, stressor, or trigger.
It might not just look like, “I like this person.” “Now I hate this person.” It can manifest as more dynamic, extreme black-and-white thinking, where something is either all or nothing:
“She always does this.”
“He never does that.”
“Things always go wrong.”
“This always goes right.”
The black-and-white thinking can be either positive or negative and can even be about a person's own self. And this is where my headcanon goes a bit shaky, because all I really have to go off of is Eda’s initial attitude of “We weirdos stick together,” and then how she switches those ideals up when she’s devaluing herself and her importance within the relationships she has with friends and family.
This is particularly evident with the kids and her extreme and impulsive suicide attempt, where I get this feeling of “I’m not good enough, and I will never be good enough.” off of her.
She also changes her mood with Lilith very quickly during the season 1 finale. A few minutes ago, she was ready to kill her sister and saw her as the most vile person she’d ever met. The next minute, she is letting her sister back into her house and wanting a relationship with her again after she split the curse.
There is this kind of emotional impermanence where she forgives Lilith and goes straight back to wanting to be friends with her at a speed and level that isn’t common at all. No matter what is done to Eda, she seems to bounce back quickly, no matter how badly she’s hurt in the end.
That's all I've really got for that, to be honest. If I find more that explores this idea better, I will probably make a post about it.
Conclusion
I think that turbulent relationships, a massive fear of abandonment, risky and impulsive behaviours and high shame/low self esteem are key parts of Eda’s character and that’s why I headcanon her to have BPD(borderline personality disorder.)
#the owl house#toh#eda clawthorne#toh eda#edalyn clawthorne#raine whispers#toh raine#luz noceda#lilith clawthorne#toh luz#king clawthorne#gwendolyn clawthorne#toh gwen#dell clawthorne#bpd headcanon#I said I'd write it and i got around to it about 10 months later#toh headcanon
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