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#this is a very kink heavy episode
daughterofyore · 1 year
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George and the Pond.
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King George x f!reader
[[Queen Charlotte (Netflix)]]
category; heavy smut, fluff, angst (lil bit)
wc; 2,249
music inspired;- apocalypse
a/n:: George has a manic episode by the pond, you manage to calm him and he’s so thankful for you he fucks you to show it :)
TW!: NSFW, George porphyria episode (Venus), heavy smut, breeding kink, Good ol fast sex
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Venus begged George to find her. She pleaded with him to search, to save her. She was his one true love. She needed him! He ran through the palace grounds, in the distance behind him there was a cacophony of shouts, someone begging for him to turn around. It was Venus’ ex lovers, surely. They didn’t understand the love they shared, the adoration of their coupling. Her beautiful, pale skin and blemished face. Glowing like a fading star against the ebony blanket of the night sky. An infinite amount of white blazing stars surrounding her like a halo in all her glory. Oh, how he longed to be by her side. How he dared to get closer to her. He needed to feel her glow upon his skin, so without a moments hesitation he ripped his clothes from his skin. Silk pyjamas made of the finest lapis lazuli blue discarded into the mud of the pond. He raised his arms to her, crying for her to join him on this mortal plane. For the goddess of love to bless him with her prowess. He could feel her compassionate deposition seep into his very pores, touching his bare, sculpted body. Casting shadows along the dips and ridges of his muscles.
“George!” You cried out to him, watching as he bared his body to the entire garden. Reynolds raced ahead of you, reaching before you could. You were still adorned in your glittering evening gown. Made of a deep fiery scarlet, as if it was made of the last embers of a great fire. Silver lining cascaded down its centre and bodice, elaborate lace adorning the contrasting peachy cream underskirt. It flew around you as you gathered the skirt into your arms, heels clicking off the cobbles and then sinking into the finely kept lawns. You stumbled and struggled to reach your husband, you could see his eyes glistening as he stared at the planet Venus. He cried of his love to her, his devotion. How is it I don’t receive that love? You scoffed, a moment of clarity as you were still unsure as to why he acted this way. You had suspected it for some time now, his comings and goings from Kew. The secrecy surrounding him and the protectiveness of not only Reynolds but his mother too.
Your voice was like an arrow through the fog, piercing the hazy clouds in his peripherals. Venus seemed to fade into the background as he spun to look at you. You weren’t Venus, you were you. Shining brighter than she ever could. As he watched you approach, the sparkles glittering from your dress enraptured him. He felt himself falling in your direction, before a voice called him to turn around. Venus, competitive as always. She challenged you for his attention. He laughed incredulously, how lucky was he to be fought over by the Goddess of Love and her rival? Reynolds stood at his side, begging helplessly for him to return to the castle. He gathered his clothes in his hand, looking at him with a pleading gaze. Continuously he requested for the King to go inside, tried to reason with him. You knew you had never seen this before but maybe, just maybe he would recognise you.
You reached his side, letting go of your dress. It fell on his feet and pressed into his calves. He turned to you, eyes wide, hyperventilating. “You won-“ He whispered looking at you, as if it was the first time he truly saw you. He turned towards the sky, laughing. “You lost Venus! Imagine that!” He returned to face you but upon seeing your worried expression, his celebrations halted. “How come you are not happy? You have won, have you not?”
“George, it’s time we go inside now.”
“What, why? The night is beautiful we-“
“George, Venus has lost this game but I would prefer to celebrate with you indoors.” He stood very still for a moment, dark brows scrunching together as he tried to concentrate and discern exactly what you were implying. His brain felt jumbled, mixed and confused. Like he wasn’t allowed to understand, as if there was a black alabaster wall separating from the here and there.
“I wish to stay here. Let’s celebrate here.” You paused and gazed at him, studying him carefully. You spun to Reynolds.
“Cover the windows and leave his clothes here. Ensure nobody enters these grounds or can see us.” Reynolds pressed his lips into a thin line before muttering a ‘Yes, your majesty.’ He left, grabbing Brimsley by the elbow and guiding him indoors. You turned back to George, your husband. Your king. You rested a gentle hand on his chest, and he stilled. He sucked in a devastating shaky breath before raising his arms to hold your shoulders.
“You, you saw- oh, wife I- oh I am so sorry.” His eyes began to water, a new clarity crossing them. His face slackened, now an evident frown replacing his once maniacal smile. You hushed him, gently guiding him to your chest as you snaked comforting arms around him. You held him in your embrace, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he let silent sobs escape him. He sniffled, clutching onto the fabric of your dress as he eventually sunk to his knees. “My dear I am so sorry, I am sorry I have avoided you. That I have tried to hide I-“ He couldn’t get his words out but you put a comforting hand on his head. Intertwining your fingers with his brown locks, you gently massaged his scalp.
“Do not apologise George. I understand you. I am here for you. Come, let us lie and look at the stars together.” You smiled at him, holding his hand and laying on the lawn. He tentatively lay beside you, he finally noticed his nakedness and his hands rushed to cover himself. You once again shushed him, grabbing the many layers of your skirts and draping them across his waist. “No need to worry about what I have seen before darling.” You chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. He smiled, sucking in a breath after as he looked to the sky.
“I could be married to a pompous wench right now, who wouldn’t give a damn about me. Who would run in the opposite direction if she saw what I did tonight..” he turned his head, gazing at you. You met his eyes and smiled. “Yet you stay, you lie with me. Why?”
“I believe I see myself in you. Trapped, misunderstood.” You took a shivering breath. “Sometimes all we need is a little kindness and a show of stability. I wish to be that for you.” His eyes began to glaze, he sucked in his bottom lip as it began to quiver.
He turned on his side, a new light coming to his eyes. Slowly he raised a leg to bend at an angle across your thighs. Bracing himself on an elbow he gazed at you. His face inches from you. “I do not know what I have done to deserve a woman such as you.” Slowly he lowered his lips to yours, kissing you softly. You reciprocated it, lips merely mingling before he slipped his tongue across them, asking for entry. You obliged, parting your lips as his tongue slipped by. He licked the bottom of your teeth, before dancing around your tongue with his. He sucked on your lip, biting it gently and sucking the sting away. You gasped, a hand travelling up his side. You could feel his muscles shiver at your touch, he manoeuvred over you, straddling your hips. His cock pressed against your stomach, hardening. His hands travelled up your sides before reaching your breasts. They were secured behind the corset of your evening gown, yet he managed to push a hand down its front and grope one. He massaged it in his hand, loving the mass and softness of it. His kiss deepened, he peppered them along your jaw and to your collarbone. Reaching your cleavage he looked at you mischievously, recalling his hand and replacing its absence with long, sensuous licks across the top of your breasts. His tongue travelled over them, then between. He licked up from your cleavage to your throat, to your lips. Kissing you again before he backed down, grabbing your skirts.
“And I you, my queen.”
You were breathing heavy, barely able to control the growing heat intensifying between your legs. A steady throb as it begged for attention. Your core tightening in angst of what was to come. This was what your wedding night should’ve been, but you didn’t care. This, this was better. Laying on the cool grass beneath a bright moon and stars that reflected off of a still pond. This was bliss. George hiked your skirts up, laying them across your midriff. He bowed down again, grabbing your pantyhose and pulling them down to expose bare thighs. He looked at you over the mound of skirts, smirking. “Are you alright my love, may I continue?” You nod, breath escaping you. You peered up at the stars between the foliage of the cherry blossom tree. George dipped his head between your thighs, gently pushing them apart. He kissed and nipped at the sensitive skin, licking the sting away again once more.
Agonisingly slow he made his way to your centre, licking over the underwear covering you. He raised a hand, rubbing a finger between your folds and feeling the wetness seep the fabric. He grinned, pushing a finger into you and watching you arch your back. He kept the underwear on, watching you squirm as he teased you. Ever so slowly he retracted the finger, dragging it up and pressing it to your clit. Your juices soaked the fabric now, it clung to your very shape. You jolted at the contact, the pressure on your clit making you pull away. He grabbed your left leg, putting it over his shoulder and gripping your thigh to hold you in place. He spread you with a knee, continuously exploring you over the whimsy barrier of your panties. You moaned, trying to move but he held you firmly in place. “Are you ready wife? Ready for me to take you?” You nod feverishly, his ministrations have built a fiery ache in your core. Begging for his attention. Your cunt wept as it pleaded for him to enter it, to give it attention. George smirked, gently taking your hands and pulling you up. He stepped behind you and made short work of the lace up your back. He quickly pulled the dress off, then the undergarments until finally you were bare before him. He smiled, standing back and admiring you. “My beautiful wife, in all her glory.” His eyes were ravenous, without a moments hesitation he was back between your legs. He kneeled, grabbing your hips he hoisted you into an awkward position, your legs dangled above his shoulders while you lay only on your shoulders and head. He held you in his grip, his lips placing tender kisses across your cunt. He licked, slow as of tasting your every essence. His tongue slipped into you, to which he began to lick inside you. He left it begging for more and turned his attention to your clit again. It throbbed for him, and he knew it did. He wrapped an arm around your leg, balancing your ass against his chest as he spread you with two fingers. He began to taste you, sucking on your clit. He nipped it, sucking it better straight after. You squirmed in his grasp but he still held you firmly, refusing to let you move. He lapped at your pussy like a thirsty dog, drinking you up. He turned his attention back to your clit, sucking intensely on it. You moaned, cried out his name. He seemed to only grow more excited and you could feel his length pressing into the small of your back. He sucked, and sucked, and sucked until finally the growing tension ruptured. You screamed his name, yet he continued to suck and lick you through the orgasm. You were trembling at the end, and he lay you down, kissing your stomach. He looked up at you as you threaded fingers through his hair. “I’m going to put a baby in you, my queen.” He smirked and you swore it nearly undid you again. He sat back on his knees, his cock long and hard as it stood. He grabbed your hips, pulling you towards him. He grabbed his dick, rubbing it’s tip along your slit. He pressed a firm hand down on your stomach as he slowly pushed his way in without any warning. You stretched, moaning around him. His sheer size pushing you close to ecstasy.
Once he was in he let loose a shivering sigh, looking back to you. “Are you alright my love?” You nodded, placing a hand on his as it pressed into your stomach. He could feel the faint mass of his cock in you, it turned him on even more. Slowly, he pulled out and pushed back in again. Keeping a slow and steady rhythm till you had adjusted. Once he could feel you relax, he began to pound into you. Growing in intensity. Gasps of air escapes him each time he fucks you. You were a moaning mess, barely able to breathe. Your breasts bounced up and down at the ferocity he pounded into you. His balls clapped off your ass, sounding through the garden. You felt like you were in heaven. He looked up at you and grabbed one of your breasts, squeezing it. He pinched your nipple, pulling it slightly as he fucked you. You were in ecstasy. Every inch of your being burning, yearning for his touch. He grabbed your hips, spinning you around to be on all fours as he stayed inside you. He gripped your hips and continued his merciless fucking. “George! Oh fuck George-“ You screamed for him, moaning his name.
“I’m going to cum inside you pretty queen-“ He moaned your name, deep and guttural. “And watch you grow with our child, our heir.” You cried out for him again, and it was all he needed to slam himself into without mercy, he reached a hand around you, rubbing your clit with no remorse. It was so intense you couldn’t think straight.
“George I- George I’m going to cum!”
“Do it, do it for me my queen. Do it together.” He moaned above you, continuing his ministrations. The pair of you cried out, heads thrown back in ecstasy. You orgasmed, and he spilled his seed into you. It’s warmth spreading through your core. He stayed in you for a moment, breathing deeply. You were gasping for air below him. Eventually he slid out, pulling you down to lay beside him. He held you close, running a lazy hand up and down your side.
“My beautiful Queen, fucked by the garden pond.”
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sundrop-writes · 4 months
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Lessons For A Genius - Lesson One
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Sub!Spencer Reid x Dom!Fem!Reader
Lesson One: Slick Silicone
(aka the one with the pocket pussy)
Summary:
What could a certified genius possibly have to learn from someone like you? Turns out - a hell of a lot. 
And the real ‘teaching’ started when your graphic explanations of slang toward Spencer for the sheer shock value of it turned into something a lot more… hands on. 
Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU)Dom!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during early Season 2.
Word Count: 17,200
Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link
THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.
Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.
Warnings: A lot of general stuff pertaining to an average Criminal Minds episode - mentions of death, mentions of murder/killing, mentions of possible trauma from being in the BAU, somewhat graphic descriptions of a dismembered corpse; this is not a casefic but there is a small section where Reid, Morgan, and the reader are at a crime scene and details of a case are mentioned (not a case in the canon, one that I made up); the reader sticks her hand inside of a corpse to get something out of it for the purpose of discovering evidence; making inappropriate jokes about dead bodies - the reader character uses dark humour to cope with the trauma of the BAU job; Spencer doesn’t understand sexual slang and the reader has to explain it to him (warning for slightly awkward moments because of this?); the reader calls Spencer ‘honey’ (could be considered condescending); use of Y/N and L/N (meaning Your Last Name); Reid struggling with his sexuality/Reid has some internal biphobia; mentions of anal sex/anal stimulation but it does not take place during the fic; passing mentions of Reid being bullied in school; mentions of past Spencer x Lila Archer (in this fic, she blew him while he was working that case but they didn’t keep contact when he left LA); mentions of the reader going to a sex shop; mentions of the reader dressing feminine/wearing lingerie; mention of Spencer being taller than the reader - but I think he would be taller than most people.
This is primarily a smut fic; there is sub/dom dynamics - Reid is submissive and much more inexperienced (he is 'learning’ about sex from the reader character, but he is not completely a virgin, he has had one singular sexual experience before); the reader is dominant and much more experienced sexually; the reader has a vagina and uses she/her pronouns; mentions of Reid being 'innocent’ (it’s more so that sex is an under-researched area of his life and he is too shy to explore it by himself); undertones of corruption kink; use of a sex toy - the reader gifts Spencer a fleshlight/pocket pussy and they use it together; hand kink - the reader admires Spencer’s hands; undertones of corruption kink - the reader is enjoying 'corrupting’ Spencer and showing him these things for the first time; BDSM/kink negotiations, possibly under-negotiated kink; the reader teaches Spencer BDSM terms.
Everything in this fic is fully consensual and safe for the characters; Spencer calls the reader 'Miss’; mentions of Spencer cumming inside the reader (does not actually happen during the fic); passing mentions of Spencer being insecure (about his sexual skills and his looks); Spencer is very obedient; the reader calls Spencer: 'good boy’, 'baby’, 'pretty boy’, 'dumb baby’; most of this fic is Spencer being fucked with a fleshlight while it’s controlled by the reader; heavy praise kink (from the reader toward Spencer); light bondage - Spencer’s hands are bound behind his back; edging - orgasm delay/orgasm denial (from the reader toward Spencer); the reader makes Spencer ask permission to cum; some size kink - big dick Spencer is too big to fully fit inside of a fleshlight; Spencer does a lot of begging in this; slight crying kink - the reader thinks Spencer looks pretty when he cries from being overwhelmed/edged a lot; degradation kink, dumbification kink, reader is condescending towards Spencer; some overstimulation toward the end; slight cum kink - Spencer cums all over himself and the reader enjoys it. I believe that’s it. There is descriptions of aftercare!
A/N: fair warning - a lot of this fic is build up/sexual tension (my speciality). and there is a long section before the smut where the reader is teaching Spencer BDSM terms and teaching him how to pick a safeword, but I think it’s interesting and I enjoyed writing it. and it’s worth the pay-off imo.
...
Being an FBI Profiler meant there were some rather… strange parts to your day. 
Things that were once in a lifetime tragedies for other people that had become intensely casual routines for you. Things like - looking at gruesome crime scene photos, seeing a dead body in person, facing down a killer. 
You liked to thank your nihilism and dark sense of humor for keeping you sane, working a job that would have driven others insane in such a short amount of time. You also liked to distance yourself from the darkness of it, and preferred to think of the people you helped, rather than the people you couldn’t. 
Especially during moments like this, when you were exiting the car at yet another crime scene. It was a dump sight for the body of another young woman, adding to the trail of victims this newest killer was challenging the BAU with. 
“Just like all the others… the limbs and jaw are missing. Eyes gouged out. This guy has one hell of a compulsion.” Morgan commented, looking down at the body… or rather, the torso, with intense disdain. 
“I would say it’s less of a compulsion, and more of a fractured sense of reality.” Reid commented. “It’s likely that the UnSub sees these corpses as pieces of art. It’s why he was frustrated when the first four weren’t found soon enough, that they weren’t discovered when they were… ‘fresh’, so to speak. That’s why he started leaving the clues for law enforcement. He wants his ‘art’ to be seen in a timely manner.” 
“Couldn’t the guy just take up painting or something?” You replied, looking at the body, still slightly shocked by how brutal the whole thing was. 
“Looks like we got another one.” Morgan pointed out, crouching down beside the body, motioning toward a large gash between the victim’s ribs. “Another clue, that is.” 
For the last three victims, the UnSub had cut a hole into their torso and left some kind of object inside. Something small that hinted at where the next victim would be found. 
Morgan looked over his shoulder at you, as though waiting for you to make a move. When you turned to Reid, he was looking over the rim of his coffee cup at you with very expectant eyes, the thick lenses of his glasses making his stare all the more imposing. 
You quickly realized that both of the men wanted you to stick your hand inside the corpse and pull out whatever was inside. 
“What?” You chuckled. “You want me to do it? Is it just cause you think I’m the gross one?” 
Your reputation for having a strong stomach preceded you. 
You were shy or squeamish about anything, socially or functionally, and the team often took advantage of this. They would throw you into an interrogation with a suspect who made crude comments and you would end up grossing the man out with even more graphic words. They would have you sifting through a suspect’s trash looking for receipts or pieces of evidence and sometimes you would laugh at the things you found, rather than gagging at the smell. 
It was rare that anyone on the team saw you flinch. 
“The body’s been sittin’ out here in the sun for three hours.” Morgan said, glancing from the corpse up to the bright sky overhead. “I’m not doin’ it.”
You chanced another look at Reid. The small smirk he wore told you that he wouldn’t have to give some lame excuse about how he was squeamish and had just eaten in order for you to truly give in. 
“Ugh, fine.” You said. 
You naturally met Reid’s hand when he came out of his pocket with a blue latex glove for you to wear. You put it on, switching places with Morgan so you could kneel down beside the body. You put your ungloved hand on the ground to support yourself, and then inserted your fingers into the cavity - the hole between the ribs that the UnSub had made. 
Luckily, you didn’t have to reach too far inside before you felt something. Though, because of the slight decomposition of the body and the bloat from the sun beating down, you did have some trouble getting a good grip on the item to pull it out. 
Naturally, your discomfort with the situation caused your dark sense of humor to act up. You needed the comfort and you barely thought about the odd joke before it left your lips. 
“God, it’s like a fucking fleshlight in here,” You groaned, disgusted laced through your voice as you finally hooked your fingers around the object and managed to pull it out of the wound. 
Morgan chuckled at the joke and held out an evidence bag for you (which he had gotten from one of the uniformed officers on the scene). Before any of you could truly analyze the item that you had just pulled out of the body cavity, a voice trampled over your thoughts as you dropped the item into the plastic bag. 
“Don’t you mean flashlight?” Reid piped up, so eager to correct you, as always. “Also, how is that comparable?” 
You looked up at Reid with awe. 
For a moment, you wondered if he was fucking with you. 
But the look of genuine confusion plastered across his features - something so rare for the certified genius. That look made you realize that he genuinely didn’t know what a fleshlight was. He had no idea what you were talking about. 
Your insides tingled with glee at this realization. 
Morgan sighed when he saw the look that you and Reid exchanged. You, wearing filthy, smug dawning and Reid painted entirely with cluelessness. He hated where the exchange was going, knowing how shameless you always were in conversation. He quickly tried to distract from the interaction. 
“So, this looks like a horseshoe-” Morgan said, motionting to the object in the evidence bag. 
“No, I meant fleshlight.” You said, quickly trampling over Morgan’s words. “F-L-E-S-H-L-I-G-H-T. Fleshlight. Do you not know what that means?” 
This caused Morgan to sigh sharply and shake his head. 
You took off the glove with a snap and tossed it away, happy to be rid of the smell. 
You stood back to your full height, entirely intrigued by Reid’s continued confusion. 
“It could represent luck. Maybe a casino?” Morgan tried in vain to distract the two of you from the conversation once again. 
Maybe he was trying to preserve Reid’s naive innocence, something you were determined to dismantle piece by piece because it gave you intense joy to see the shock cross his features whenever you explained outrageous concepts to him. The time you had explained to him what a ‘blumpkin’ was, you hadn’t stopped laughing for hours when he could hardly believe you. 
“The nearest casino is 45.6 miles away, it’s far outside the UnSub’s geographical comfort zone.” Reid said, quickly dismissing Morgan’s thread of conversation before he turned back to you. “And no, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is it a coroner’s term?” 
You let out a harsh snort at this. You had gotten a degree in mortuary science before you became a Profiler (likely something to thank for your strong stomach). But it was your other area of ‘study’ that made you an expert in this. 
“No, honey, it’s not.” You quickly answered. 
There was a slight flash through his features when you called him ‘honey’. You weren’t sure if it was shock or displeasure, but either way he quickly straightened his face and went back to intrigue. He stared at you with his full attention, ready for you to explain it to him. He was ready to learn and catalog the information in that big brain of his.
It was something you found entirely endearing. 
“L/N, please, don’t-” Morgan begged you not to explain it any further, once again wanting to keep Reid in the dark. 
Mostly, he wanted to save himself from the embarrassment of witnessing the interaction between the two of you. 
“What?” You chuckled sharply, turning to Morgan. “There are some things the genius still needs to learn, apparently.” 
Reid rolled his eyes at this. He didn’t want to admit that it was true. 
“The other night I had to explain to him what the distinct difference between a Butt Dial and a Booty Call is,” You continued, giving an example to prove your point. “Because he walked into the bullpen and loudly announced to JJ and Elle that he was sorry that he booty called me at 3am and woke me up.” 
Morgan choked on his laughter when you explained this. 
“Dude, seriously?” He posed, raising a brow at Reid. 
“I fell asleep with my phone in my back pocket when I was reading Voltaire.” Reid explained, a heavy blush falling over his cheeks. “I thought - I thought -” 
“Okay, playboy, I’m gonna go call Hotch about this,” Morgan announced, motioning toward the evidence bag. “And I’m gonna pretend not to hear anything that’s happening over here.” 
Morgan walked off to the car, and Reid turned to you with a defeated look cast over his features. 
“I do appreciate when you explain these kinds of things to me.” He told you softly. “It… it saves me from future embarrassment.” 
As much as you enjoyed the shock factor of watching Spencer’s innocence melt away when you explained such crude things so abruptly - that was also part of your motivation. You knew that as much as he was a genius - had stunning intellect on paper, could recite statistics by heart - he didn’t have the kind of social skills or social knowledge that you did. 
“Do you really wanna know what I was talking about before?” You posed, giving him one last chance to preserve that innocence. 
He nodded, ever thirsty to chase an unanswered question. 
You held back a giggle. 
“A fleshlight is also called a pocket pussy.” You told him, launching into a quick, efficient explanation for his confusion so that he could have his question answered. 
“What?” He gaped, having the most beautifully dumb look on his face as the words left his lips. 
“It’s a sex toy.” You told him. 
His face scrunched even further into bewilderment, and you knew that now he was simply jumping through mental hoops, wondering what kind of sex toy a ‘pocket pussy’ could be. So you decided to make your explanation a bit more detailed. 
“It’s a…” You thought for a moment about how to explain it to someone who had never seen one before. “A kind of tube? Usually in the shape of a large flashlight, and on the inside there’s a silicone vagina, or sometimes a silicone anus, and it’s meant to simulate intercourse the same way that a dildo can simulate intercourse by going into a vagina. Or an anus, of course. You do know what a dildo is, right?” 
Reid quickly nodded his head - that bright flush even fresher on his cheeks as a deep thoughtfulness came over his features. 
“Yeah. Y-yeah. I got it.” He quickly stuttered out, assuring you that he now fully understood. 
“Cool.” You said, walking by him and thumping him on the shoulder for reassurance that the conversation was over. 
“Wait, is that the hand that you - inside? You haven’t washed your hands yet!” 
“I wore a glove, Reid!” 
… 
Turns out the horseshoe had a unique stamping on it from a closed down metalworks business. Four thousand square feet of abandoned building, perfect for the UnSub to make his ‘art’ inside. He had intended for the clue to lead the team to a barn where he had staged the next corpse, but you broke into the building and caught him in the act of drugging another woman before she was killed. 
The state of the building was horrifying - the limbs of the other victims strewn about, a lot of them put on display like trophies. 
Overall, you would call it a good day. There was a life saved. 
On the way back home, Spencer could barely make eye contact with you while on the jet. His eyes constantly flickered away from you with purpose whenever you looked near him. The two of you played Gin Rummy and you had to remind Reid to take his turn several times. There was even one point where he won a hand and you had to tell him so - he claimed that he had ‘forgotten the rules’. As if. 
You couldn’t figure out why he was acting so strangely. You wanted to chalk it up to the harshness of the case, the graphic nature of things - but you both had seen much worse. The ‘fleshlight’ conversation was so minimal on your radar, such a shameless moment for you. It was something you considered so entirely regular as an interaction on the rollercoaster of all things bizarre that was Spencer Reid. You were barely even thinking about it. 
You had no clue that it was racing through his mind at top speed as he remembered your words from earlier that day. 
… 
Spencer couldn’t stop thinking about it. 
He wasn’t sure why it had never occurred to him before. Sure, there were plenty of things he didn’t know, like you said. Plenty of things he was curious about, but far too shy to look up. Plenty of things he didn’t want to get caught looking up out of fear of embarrassment. 
He knew some things about sex toys. He knew far more about the history of sex toys than he did about modern sex toys. He could tell you that Cleopatra had owned one of the first rudimentary vibrators, made from the shell of a hollowed out gourd filled with bees. But if he walked into a sex shop today, he probably wouldn’t know what half the stuff was or what it was used for. 
When he thought about what you had told him, it only made sense. 
Of course there would be some kind of solution, some kind of ‘opposite’ to a silicone penis used to simulate sex inside a vagina. 
(“Or an anus, of course.”) 
Those words flying out of your mouth so casually had sent Reid’s imagination flying into an array of interesting directions. Of course he knew that plenty of men liked to partake in anal stimulation for pleasure. There were no particular statistics about this that came to mind, because it was never something he had directly read a study about. 
It was something Reid had always been curious about, because he did know that prostate stimulation was often considered to be the height of pleasure for men. 
(Spencer’s attraction to men was a can of worms that he would leave untouched and attend to another day. The innate warmth that he felt when he looked at Morgan was something he always felt the need to suppress. Even though it was quite literally impossible for him, he was still trying to forget the involuntary reaction he had when he looked at a gay porn magazine that his classmates had left in his locker as a joke when he was thirteen.) 
For the most part, his mind was hyper-fixating on your explanation of that object he had never even heard of before. The antithesis of a dildo, the supposed inversion of the male genitalia in a more portable form. 
A pocket pussy. 
You talked about it so casually, explained it so perfectly. You spoke about it in such a way that it left Reid’s mind whirring, wondering what such an object could specifically look like. Of course, he knew what a vagina looked like. In theory. 
Yes, he was a virgin. 
He actually wondered if he fit that definition exactly. He knew that most people considered virginity to be a milestone passed once they had participated in full blown intercourse for the first time. But he wondered if what he had done would ‘count’ as losing his virginity. It was something he would have asked you, would have wanted your social colloquial opinion on - if he wasn’t so embarrassed about being a virgin in the first place. (Or maybe being a virgin, he still wasn’t too sure.) 
He had been touched by a woman before, but only once. 
After he and Lila Archer had climbed out of the pool, before the team had arrived, she had kissed him on the mouth again and continued to thank him for his ‘bravery’ and ongoing protection in a very interesting way. And before he could truly process it or stop her (due to the intense unprofessionalism) - his pants were down and her mouth was on him. Because of his inexperience, it had lasted a whopping three minutes. (According to Spencer’s impeccable memory and the fact that he had been glancing between the top of her head and a clock on the wall, worried they would get caught, he knew for a fact that it had been three minutes and fourteen seconds to be exact.) 
Which, at the time, was lucky. Because as she licked off her lips and looked up at him through her lashes, Morgan called out his name through the house, finally looking for them. He had rushed to straighten his clothes and look normal - but because Morgan caught them both looking incredibly guilty, he had hounded Reid for days about the ‘details’. Reid gave him none. 
But that had been his only experience with a woman sexually. His only experience with anybody, for that matter. So any of his knowledge about vaginas was based entirely on pictures; scientific diagrams, and renaissance art. He was never gutsy enough to buy porn for himself. 
He tried to imagine what a silicone vagina would look like - how one would fit molded into a plastic tube. He tried to imagine how it would feel to stick his penis into one. 
Of course, he had plenty of experience with masturbation. 
His instincts had taken over at the right age for that. Even though his brain was always advanced well beyond his years, puberty kicked in just the same. He had been a hormonal teenager just like everyone else. (Of course, he was the only one going to CalTech getting a PhD in chemistry, but he was right on track in terms of his physical development.) 
And naturally, his imagination often ran away with him whenever he had the time alone to masturbate now that he was an adult. 
One of the things he thought about most often when he masturbated was you. 
The fact that you were so self-assured, so confident, the fact that nothing could shake you. It always made Spencer imagine you pinning him down, taking control of him, kissing him hard. He had orgasmed in his hand a great many nights, imagining you on top of him - imagining what you might feel like around him, on top of him, riding him. 
He found it intensely difficult to pay attention to Gin Rummy when all of these thoughts were running through his mind. 
… 
You barely remembered the fleshlight conversation at all. Barely remembered it, that is, until you were on your way to work the next morning. 
There was a small fender bender between two cars on your normal route and the traffic build-up around it caused you to deviate. Because of that, you just happened to drive by your favorite sex shop. The sign caught your eye, and you figured: you were already late. There was a great coffee place across the street. You could grab yourself a latte if you parked. 
You were surprised that a sex shop would be open so early in the morning, but you were glad that you made the stop. Usually, you would have taken your time to browse. You liked to see what was new, especially in terms of costumes and lingerie. 
You didn’t have a long term partner to impress, but sometimes you did like to strut around the house in lingerie (in your fleeting free time away from the BAU) just to make yourself feel good. That, and it was always fun to see the look on a date’s face when you gave the sensual promise of ‘slipping into something more comfortable’ and then came back in a latex nurse’s outfit and six inch red heels. 
Unfortunately, today you were low on time and very set on what you wanted. 
You went straight to the wall of toys and zoned in on the selection of fleshlights. You picked out the most ‘basic’ one you could find. You didn’t want to assume Spencer’s preferences, but you picked one that resembled a pussy rather than an ass. 
It was on the expensive side, but you knew the look on Spencer’s face when you gave it to him would more than pay it off in your mind. That and imagining him using it, knowing that it would be far too tempting of a gift. He would never be brave enough to buy something like this for himself and once it was in his hands when he was alone, he would be far too curious not to use it - yeah, it was definitely worth it. 
You walked past a rack of lube on your way to the cash register and realized that it would be rude to give this kind of gift without a bottle of lube in accompaniment. So you bought a bottle of your favorite water based lubricant. An unscented one, knowing that Spencer was a no-frills kind of guy, even though you usually bought a strawberry scented one for yourself. 
You got the items put in a discreet, labelless black bag and then got yourself a latte. And you couldn’t help but to grab an almond croissant for Spencer because when you spotted it in the pantry case, you did think of him. 
Of course, when you walked into the office (the black bag safely in the backseat of your car) Hotch just happened to be walking by with a handful of files on the way to his office. 
“You’re late.” He commented, not looking up from the paper he was reading. 
“Traffic was hell.” You fired back. 
“Yeah, and I’m sure that latte just magically transported into your hand.” He said, his tone blank and unreadable as usual. “I want all your reports about the case on my desk by tonight.” 
Usually, there was a grace period of two or three days to get the reports about a case done. But clearly, Hotch didn’t like your tardiness. You considered it worth it. 
“Yes sir.” You mumbled under your breath. 
He didn’t say anything else after that, simply retreated off to his office. 
You figured he couldn’t be that mad. He knew the job could be an emotional strain, and it was okay to deviate from such a hard routine every now and then. Especially because now you were going to be spending the next five hours writing out all the gory details of how you had pulled a horseshoe out of a woman’s dead torso in order to catch a killer. 
You walked over to your desk, which was right in front of Reid’s, and placed down the paper bag with the croissant on top of one of his files. This easily distracted him from whatever he had been writing - most likely one of his reports about the case. 
“Almond croissant,” You said, placing down your coffee cup and placing your purse underneath your desk. “Your favorite, right?” 
“It is.” He grinned at you. “Thank you.” 
It was that sweet little smile, those big kind eyes staring up at you through the lenses of his glasses like you hung the stars in the sky - it was that bit of sweetness that got you through writing your reports. So yeah, it probably wasn’t just dark humor and nihilism that helped you keep your sanity. It had a lot to do with the pretty boy you got to sit across from every single day. 
You worked on your reports. And yeah, you took too many coffee breaks, including a long lunch break with Elle, Penelope, and JJ where they insisted on discussing your ‘crush’ on Spencer. 
You denied it. 
Elle profiled your lie (which you insisted was not a lie) and JJ laughed about it. Penelope started humming wedding music under her breath and you threatened to spit in her salad. 
By the time you actually got the reports done, it was late. Everyone else had gone home - except for Spencer, who was still sitting at his desk across from you with his lamp on and an air of quiet concentration. When you got finished with the last report, you slammed the file closed and let out a sigh, leaning back in your chair and running your hands harshly over your face. 
“Finally done?” Spencer’s delicate voice inquired, peeking up over the median between the desks to look at you. 
“Yes, finally.” You grinned back at him. “You done too?” 
You couldn’t help but to ask. Spencer was always incredibly quick with his reports, simply by the nature of the speed at which he could read and compose writing. You wondered what exactly he had been doing at his desk for the past few hours. Perhaps he had been looking through old case files, possibly unsolved ones, thinking up new leads while there was no pressure looming over his brilliant mind. 
“I finished up at three o’clock.” He said. 
You glanced at your watch - it was getting close to nine. That made you entirely curious about what he had been doing, sitting at his desk for that many hours. What had he felt the need to stay so late for? 
“So what has been keeping you busy this late into the night, Doctor?” You asked. 
“I was reading.” He told you honestly, motioning toward a thick novel that he had in his hands. 
“How many books do you have over there?” You chuckled. 
Again, you knew that because of the intense speed he was capable of reading at, it would take a lot of books to keep him busy. 
“Just one.” He answered, easily catching your eye and maintaining eye contact. 
Both of you knew what this meant. 
For a while, he had been rereading through old case files. But, not wanting to haunt himself with those gory details, he had chosen instead to simply sit at his desk and reread the same book over and over again because he had wanted to keep you company. 
What you didn’t know was that his mind had still been heavily plagued by thoughts of your sex toy discussion from the other day, so he wasn’t exactly reading at lightning speed as per usual. Instead - letting his imagination wander, thinking about where he would get a silicone vagina if he wanted to buy one and if a toy would feel as good as yours. What yours would feel like around his penis if he ever got the minuscule chance to actually experience it. 
“The Hollow Men by T. S. Eliot - but um, I was waiting for you, actually.” Spencer announced, making his intentions entirely clear, just in case you hadn’t already figured it out. “I was hoping maybe we could get dinner together? We haven’t - we haven’t hung out in a while.” 
He seemed nervous asking you this, even though you were always enthusiastic in welcoming his invitations to spend time together outside of work. 
Last month, he had brought you to a conservatory housing and actively breeding endangered species of butterflies in order to save the populations from extinction. It was a building full of plant life, an indoor jungle filled with the beautiful insects that took your breath away. Listening to him ramble on about the different species and their latin names, the patterns on their wings and their purpose of camouflage - it had been one of the most pleasant, most romantic non-dates of your life. 
You didn’t understand why others on the team acted like his presence, especially his ramblings, could be a bother. 
“Sounds good.” You told him with a smile. 
He smiled back at you fondly. 
“I have to drop these on Hotch’s desk and then we can go.” You explained as you stood up and began gathering your files. “But uh, I don’t really feel like going out? I’m way more in the mood for take-out and a comfy couch.” 
“There’s a good Chinese place a few minutes away from my apartment.” He told you. “If you consider my couch comfortable?” 
You resisted the urge to tell him that you loved his apartment because the smell of books penetrated every inch of it; the scent of yellowing, worn paper living there like the comfort of a library. But you held that back - choosing instead to say something else. 
“The comfiest,” You grinned at him as you walked by with the armful of files. 
… 
You weren’t entirely sure when you were going to give the ‘gifts’ to Spencer. 
A large part of you thought that it would be best to have an out, in case he got embarrassed, or hated it. Most likely, you would wait until after dinner and hand him the bag on your way out without telling him what it was. Which was why you shoved the black plastic bag holding the lube and the sex toy into your oversized purse while Spencer was distracted with carrying the takeout bag toward his apartment. 
One thing that had not surprised you about Spencer when you found it out: he didn’t have basic cable. Part of you was surprised that someone who was so pro-book and anti-technology even had a TV at all. But apparently he had some favorites that he couldn’t stand to miss out on, like Doctor Who and Star Wars. So he had a DVD player hooked up to a very small TV that was banished off to a corner of his living room. A device that was dwarfed by bookcases, which did make a lot of sense. 
He said that he spent so much time reading and away at work, traveling for cases that it just didn’t make sense to pay for cable. He said that he could get his mental enrichment from reading, and his nerdy pleasure from rewatching his old favorites, and apparently he got the news from listening to the radio. The radio. Sometimes you wondered if he was Benjamin Button - an old man who had somehow gotten into the body of a twenty five year old. It truly mystified you. 
Either way, it meant that you spent dinner with season three of Friends on as background noise. Friends being a box set of DVDs that you had gifted him because you considered it to be classic television that he needed to see. The first time he had asked Morgan to his face if a girl had ‘friendzoned’ him with full confidence in what the term meant, you knew that Spencer had been watching it in his free time. 
You easily fell into the comfort of your surroundings, enjoying the comforting canned laughter of the show, paired with the delightfully greasy food and Spencer’s ongoing commentary - both about the show, and about other, completely unrelated things. You were so relaxed that you had almost completely forgotten about the gift you had waiting in your bag for him. 
It was such a strange coincidence that he had been the one to bring it up. 
He offered to take your plate into the kitchen, leaving behind a waft of soy sauce as he went. You were wonderfully full and reached to the small side table where you were nursing a half empty (now warm) diet coke. You took a few sips from it, and heard Spencer’s footsteps shuffling back into the room. He hovered behind you as you watched Monica rush out of her bedroom with her phone pressed to her chest, concerned about calling Richard. 
You were so focused on the show that you almost didn’t hear Spencer’s shy, tentative voice when he spoke. 
“I’m sorry about the other day.” He said quietly. 
“Hmm?” You looked over your shoulder at him, wondering what he meant. 
He was rather nervously fidgeting with his hands, standing in the white glow of the TV in the dimly lit room - the only other source of light being a small lamp on the side table and dimness of the light above the stove shining in from the kitchen at his back. 
You grabbed up the remote and paused the show, silencing the characters and their temporary problems in order to address the stress that Spencer was very clearly feeling - his whole body tight, hunched over, his face quite tight with worry. 
“I’m sorry about the other day.” He repeated himself, slightly louder this time - perhaps not more confident, but simply not drowned out by any further noise. 
You didn’t want to butt in, and gave him the room to explain himself slowly. 
“I - I didn’t mean to put you in such an… uncomfortable position. If I don’t understand the things you say, I should just pull you aside and ask you privately what you meant.” He sighed. “I - I know that I need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes. It’s something I’m working on.” 
You became flooded with peril at this. Had he really thought that he had inconvenienced you? Put you in an ‘uncomfortable’ position? 
“Come sit down.” You told him, beginning to feel annoyed with craning your neck back to get a proper look at him. 
Like a dog being beckoned, he couldn’t help but to follow your order. 
He sunk down against the other arm of the three seater couch, leaving quite a bit of space between the two of you. He had his arms folded - closed off, clearly nervous. His eyes were focused on the leg of his pants, distinctly refusing to look at you. Perhaps he was afraid he would find disgust or disappointment among your features. You turned off the TV completely then and angled your body to face him before you continued speaking. 
“First of all, you don’t need to learn to keep your mouth shut.” You told him easily. “I’m not sure who, or what gave you that impression, but it’s not true. Whenever you open your mouth, something brilliant comes out, and we’re all better for it.” 
Reid’s lips flexed into a smile at the intense direct praise, and this made you happy. 
“Second, you didn’t make me uncomfortable the other day.” You told him honestly. “I meant what I said - despite you being a genius, there are still some things you need to learn. And I’m more than happy to teach you.” 
These words sent a shiver down Spencer’s spine. 
There were so many things that he would beg for you to teach him if given the chance. But he didn’t want to embarrass himself. And most importantly, he didn’t want to come off as creepy or desperate toward someone as perfect as you. 
When he dared to glance up at you, you were boldly staring him down. You wore a small smirk across your face. Heat began to stir in Spencer’s gut, and he couldn’t help but to wonder if you were thinking the exact same things that he was. 
You couldn’t be. You couldn’t possibly want someone like him. You couldn’t possibly want a nervous, inexperienced ‘virgin’ like him. 
Oh, but you did. 
You were thinking all of the same things that he was. You were imagining giving him the most intricate ‘hands on’ lessons for everything he had ever been curious about. Giving him the most close-up, detailed tour of the female anatomy he ever could have asked for. 
“Spencer,” You called out his name gently. 
This forced his attention up from fiddling with a loose thread on the edge of the couch cushion - clearly something out of nervousness - and got him to look at your face. You wondered how someone who was six feet tall could look so delicately small, purposefully slumped over in his seat like that. You wondered what his pretty features would look like warped by an orgasm. 
“What are you thinking about right now?” You asked him. You had to know if he was truly on the same filthy wavelength as you. 
He knew he had to make up a lie. Because he wouldn’t be brave enough to speak the words out loud. He was too shy to actually tell you that he was wondering what it would be like to bury his face between your breasts, that he wanted to drown there. 
“You… you did get me curious.” Spencer admitted quietly. “About the… the - uh-” 
He trailed off, clearly too nervous to say the word for himself now that he knew the filthy implications behind it. 
“About the fleshlight?” You finished the sentence for him, wanting to encourage him. 
You wanted to make him feel brave about the topic. You were too curious about where this interaction was heading - you couldn’t bear to have him get shy on you now. 
“Yeah.” He nodded, nervously clearing his throat. 
He went back to fidgeting with the edge of the couch cushion, once again purposefully looking anywhere but at your face. You stared him down with purpose, all too intrigued by whatever might come out of his mouth next. Especially with the tense, thoughtful expression dipped along his eyebrows - the same one he got when he was reading or staring at maps. 
“I was thinking - I was curious - curious about - about where someone might get one of those.” He finally announced. 
He put intense stress on the word ‘where’ - his voice low, almost a lulling whisper in the already quiet apartment. He was speaking as though he was asking you about something incredibly illicit. Like a college kid asking where he could buy weed or a lonely man in his thirties inquiring about a prostitute. Though sex toys were perfectly legal, you guessed that for someone like Spencer, this was just as trepidacious. 
You felt a sense of eager giddiness stir within you. You resisted the urge to bounce on the spot like an excitable, hyper kid on their birthday waiting to open their present. Even though he wasn’t looking at your face, you forced yourself to hold back a grin. 
You didn’t want to ruin the surprise, after all. It was just too perfect. 
“Well… lucky for you, Doctor Reid,” You told him, easily capturing his attention with the use of his proper title and the fact that you shifted slightly in your seat, reaching down by your feet to grab your bag. “I happen to have a spare one right here.” 
Spencer watched you cautiously, his neck still sloped with anxious shyness. He almost had to believe that this was a prank, and you would pull a tape recorder out of your bag and laugh because you had captured his perversion for everyone to know about. 
But of course - you weren’t that cruel. You were honest, and you were definitely not half as shy as he was. In fact, he would go so far as to say that you didn’t have a bashful bone in your body. 
So of course, it made sense that it was not a big deal for you to walk into one of those stores and simply purchase that kind of toy. 
Spencer watched eagerly as you pulled out a cardboard box. He heard the rustle of plastic inside your bag and guessed that it was a shopping bag. But he couldn’t be too focused on that once your arm extended out to him, showing him what the rectangular box was. 
Spencer had never seen a sex toy in person before, but he quickly realized that they were packaged similarly to any other product. A clean, white background with a picture of the product on it, several claims and promises (‘new and improved design!’) (‘easy to clean!’) (‘soft and durable!’) - and a picture of someone smiling on the front, unconsciously promising a good user experience. In this case, it was a stereotypically beautiful woman in lingerie holding the… item, as though it were comparable… to her… to her parts. 
“Open it.” You encouraged him, wagging the box in his direction. “Unless you don’t want it. I could return it.” 
It was then that Spencer realized he had been sitting with his hands numbly in his lap for several silent moments, staring at the box in your extended hand. 
“Oh!” He said quietly. “No! I mean - yes. I - um.” Rather than trying to articulate it, he reached out and grabbed the item, finding it surprisingly heavy. It easily compared to the weight of a good book in his hands. “Thank you.” 
You would be lying if you said that watching him inspect the sex toy as though it were an object from an alien planet wasn’t the hottest thing you had seen in your entire life. Doctor Reid approached this the same way that he approached everything else in life: with intense scrutiny. Clearly his analytical mind was working hard as he carefully peeled back the cardboard flap of the box and slid out his prize. 
You had to wonder if that mind of his ever shut off. 
You wondered if you could make him dumb and cum drunk, make his head completely empty. You wondered what he would look like mindlessly chasing an orgasm, begging for release with absolutely no statistics or scientific papers running around inside that big brain of his. You wanted to see him completely worn down, just his base instincts at play. You wanted to see him with just the need to fuck and cum and have his release pounding between his ears as he whined desperately for more. 
There was a sharp pain between your legs, intense arousal at the thought of it. 
That arousal only increased when Spencer dropped the box in his lap and then - like man walking on the moon for the first time - he held the toy delicately in one hand and popped the cap off with the other. Clearly, it was a big discovery for him. Watching his eyes widen with shock did bring you an intense joy. It also immediately made you wonder if seeing the silicone pussy was his first time seeing a pussy so up close and personal at all. That thought only made your own cunt throb with need. 
What he did next nearly sent you into orbit. 
He gently placed the cap down on his lap, and without looking at you, his thoughtful eyes still entirely focused on the fake pussy - he reached toward it and oh-so-gently stroked his fingers across it. From your perspective, with the angle he was holding it at, you had a perfect view of his gorgeous hand delicately exploring the toy. Your cunt fluttered, clenching around nothing, and you knew that at this point you were definitely sitting in soaked underwear. If you didn’t know Spencer any better, you would have guessed that he was doing this on purpose, to tease you. 
But that’s what made it so perfect - he was just naive, just exploring these things for the first time. 
When he dipped two of his fingertips into the opening of the toy, you had to consciously hold back a moan. It was almost too hot watching his strong, thick fingers get swallowed up by the soft entrance of the toy. Of course, imagining how those fingers would feel dipping into your pussy with such tender grace. 
“Wow.” Spencer said quietly, almost a gasp under his breath as he pulled his fingers back, in pure awe at this new discovery. “I didn’t expect it to be so soft.”
“It’ll feel even better when it’s wet.” 
The words came so naturally from your lips, you couldn’t have stopped them if you tried. 
Spencer looked up at you with a distinct pinkness spreading over his cheeks, clearly imagining that tight, soft wetness wrapped around his cock. 
You dared to take a glance downward and surely enough - beside where the empty box was sitting in his lap, a bulge was forming in his slacks, pressing harshly against the zipper. You deeply resisted the urge to reach over and grope that bulge, not wanting to scare him by coming on too strong. Instead, you put that grabby hand back into your purse to get the other thing you had to give to him. 
“Another lesson for the genius,” You announced, extending out the bottle of lube for him to see it. This time he was quicker to grab it, bringing it up to his face to inspect it with thoughtful eyes. “Water based lubricant is best. It’s water soluble, so it’s easy to clean up. And unlike other kinds, it won’t wear down the silicone of the toy over time or wear through the latex of condoms.” 
You bringing up condoms caused a jolt in Spencer’s chest. Were you just giving him some friendly advice about safe sex or - or did you actually intend to have intercourse with him? Would there be a need for condoms between the two of you in the future? 
The words gave him a temporary bold streak (that and the sexual adrenaline pumping through his system) and he decided to voice his thoughts before he became too shy. 
“Can I ask you something?” He asked quietly, his voice taking on that sweet, mousy quality that it usually did whenever he got nervous. 
“Of course.” You nodded. 
You thought that he might have more questions about the lube or the toy. But what he said next - combined with the fact that he looked at you shyly through his lashes like a doll, like he knew exactly what he was doing - absolutely knocked the wind out of you. 
“You… You said that you like teaching me things. So - do you think-?” 
He paused for a moment, clearing his throat. 
“Could - could you give me a demonstration?” He asked, his voice still shy and sweet. 
Your lips gaped in shock - at first you thought you had misheard him. And when the words fully penetrated your ears, you thought that you had somehow misunderstood him. He couldn’t possibly mean-? He wanted you to use the toy on him? 
You were shocked that Spencer Reid was openly asking for something like that. 
Seeing the shock and slight confusion across your features, Spencer’s mouth raced past his better judgment. His lips plowed over that thing in the back of his brain nagging at him to shut up - and he kept on going. 
“It only seems logical that, when tackling something new, especially something this… skill-based, I would need to be shown what to do.” He explained, his mouth running off in that way it always did when he sounded far too much like he knew what he was talking about. “It seems advisable to be shown by someone with more experience. Experience that I don’t have. I need you to show me. Please.” 
The last word came out as a breathy plea from him. You could have easily gotten stuck on the fact that he had basically just admitted to you that he was a virgin. But instead, him simply saying that word: ‘please’, begging to you like your attention was the most precious thing in the world; it kickstarted something in your brain and switched on the dominant persona that you had always wanted to use with him. 
The air shifted in the room then, and you both knew it. It was like a fire crackling around you. Spencer didn’t know what to do with it, but luckily, you did. He waited with anxious breath for your guidance, your instruction. 
“You need me to show you?” You repeated his words, using the buttery sweet voice that you usually did when you had someone so willing and pliant for you. 
Instinctively, you reached over to him and gently cupped his cheek. He easily leaned into the touch, shuddering with delight and letting out a small sigh as you made contact with his skin for the first time. It was the first time you had really touched him, aside from casual hugs of comfort after stressful situations that the job naturally gave the two of you. But this was entirely different. 
He hummed in affirmation to answer your question, his eyes growing large with lust, pupils blown out as he melted into you. 
“What do you want me to show you, pretty boy?” You asked, running your thumb along his bottom lip, admiring how absolutely pink his mouth was. 
You hoped that you could prompt a genuine answer out of him - get him to say the words. You had never heard Spencer talk about anything crude before, and you wondered if he was even capable of talking dirty. You hoped that if he wouldn’t say the words on his own, you could coach him into doing it. You could only imagine the satisfaction of getting that smart mouth to utter such filthy things. 
“I want…” Spencer swallowed harshly, clearly having a difficult time with his mouth drying out now that you had a hand on him, even though the touch was fairly ‘innocent’. “I want you to show me… everything.”
The intense emphasis that he put on the word sent sparks flying inside of you. 
It sounded like he wanted a lot more than just a ‘demonstration’ of the toy. It sounded like he wanted a lot more than just a one night stand to get off. 
Intense want flared up of you. 
The temptation to own him, to make him yours… the temptation to take all of his first and have him tied to you like a lost puppy because of it - it was an intense one. But you wouldn’t hurt him, no. You would do it right. You would own him in that way because he wanted it just as badly as you did. 
“Spencer,” 
You said his name suddenly, harconing for his attention with it. You stroked your thumb along his cheek before you pulled the touch away completely. His head bobbed forward slightly to chase your hand, but he let you go without protest. 
“If we’re going to do this, there has to be rules.” You told him firmly. “If I’m going to be your teacher, you have to listen to me. Teachers need rules, right?” 
Spencer nodded vigorously at this. 
“Of course. Yeah - yeah. You’re right.” He eagerly agreed. Then of course, he asked the obvious question. “What are the rules?” 
You beamed a smile at him, loving his enthusiasm. 
You knew that he would be a good boy. He was so eager to follow rules, to learn. Your body began tingling with delight at the thought of him looking up at you with hazy eyes, asking for his next command. 
You had to forcibly clear your head. Right now you had to be level headed in order to teach him the rules. 
“Okay the first rule - the most important one,” You prefaced, causing Spencer to straighten up slightly, showing his attentiveness, an eager student ready to learn. “Is that you need to pick a safeword. A word you can say during the scene so that I can know if you’re uncomfortable or if you need to stop.” 
“‘The scene’?” Spencer asked, repeating back the phrase to you. “Also - why can’t the safeword just be ‘stop’, or ‘no’? Wouldn’t you just stop things if I said ‘no’?” 
You decided to tackle his questions one at a time. 
“Calling it a ‘scene’ - it’s lingo.” You said. “You know that everything comes with its own set of linguistics.” You told him, playing into his pre-existing knowledge. He nodded at this. 
You then continued your explanation. 
“A ‘scene’ means… any type of sexual play. Some people call it ‘playtime’. It’s lingo that exists because for a lot of people, sex is much more than just intercourse. It can start with speech and behavior and any interactions that they have with their partner when they’re alone. Like foreplay. So a safeword needs to be included in those moments too, in case someone needs to call timeout.” 
Spencer nodded at this. It made him wish that he had developed a safeword with Lila Archer. Not because he hadn’t enjoyed the oral sex - but because to this day, he still shuddered at the possibility of being embarrassed by someone walking in on them, or the consequences if someone found out about the improprieties of it all. 
“As far as the safeword being ‘no’, or ‘stop’…” You took the time to find the right words to explain it. 
Spencer waited patiently, feeling curious about this. 
“I will always look out for your safety, and if you seem uncomfortable, I’ll ask you if you’re okay.” You assured him, giving him a gentle pat on the knee. Spencer smiled at this, and you enjoyed that you had comforted him with these words. 
“But sometimes ‘no’ doesn’t work.” You went on to explain. “Like… if I asked you something like ‘do you want me to stop?’ and you say ‘no’, that is a positive affirmation to continue what I’m doing, but it uses a negative word. Same thing with the word ‘stop’. If you told me ‘don’t stop’ - but your voice was too quiet on the first word or I didn’t properly hear you, then I may stop when you wouldn’t want me to.” 
For the first time, Spencer felt as though he was the one being schooled. 
You telling him ‘I may stop when you don’t want me to’ had him drawing an image up in his head of you vigorously riding him, taunting him while you were so well composed and he was reduced to a stuttering mess because of your wetness clenching around him. With you mistaking his words for a signal of distress, and taking away your beautiful body before he got to orgasm. It would be tragic. 
He easily understood what you meant. 
“The point of a safeword,” You continued on. “Is that it stands out. It’s a word you would never otherwise say during playtime. A word that would never come up during sex - except for you signaling your discomfort. So when I hear that word, I know that we need to shift gears into aftercare.” 
“What’s aftercare?” Spencer asked, eager to learn another new term as it was introduced to him. 
Again, you were puzzled about how to explain it, how to put it into words for someone who had no clue what the word meant. 
These were things you had known about for years, words that were a natural part of your vocabulary now. Things you had been doing before you even knew the terms for it. It was strange having to explain it to someone so fresh. 
“It - um…” You thought for a moment. “Aftercare is what happens after a scene. It’s the period of time when you mentally and physically wind down, in order to take care of your body and mind. Because of the physical exertion and the endorphins, sex can be exhausting and mentally tedious, as much as it is fun. So - aftercare helps transition the body and mind back into non-sexual activities. Different people need different kinds of aftercare, but usually it’s things like: drinking water, eating a snack, cuddling, words of affirmation.” 
“That sounds nice.” Spencer said quietly. “Would you do that for me even - even though I’m not your boyfriend?” 
You held back what you instinctively wanted to say - that you wanted him to be your boyfriend. That you wanted to own him like a cute little pet and didn’t want any other woman (or man) to touch him. 
Instead, you went with the diplomatic answer. 
“Of course I would.” You told him. “Aftercare is part of being a good - a good teacher.” 
You quickly cut yourself off from using the word ‘dominant’ and replaced it with ‘teacher’ instead. You didn’t want to scare him with the idea that you would be intimidating, mean, cold - traditional ideas behind the term ‘dominant’. 
“I want to be good to you, Spence.” You quickly added on. 
His cock throbbed inside of his pants at this. 
“So, you have to pick your safeword.” You told him. “Something that stands out, something that will easily come to your mind.” 
Spencer took a moment, and you saw him take a sideways glance at the coffee table. The chess set that was there caught his eye, and that didn’t surprise you. 
“Bishop?” Spencer posed, looking at you with eyes that said he was absolutely searching for your approval. “Is that good?” 
“Yes, baby, that’s perfect.” You told him. 
If you did your job well enough as a dominant, then he wouldn’t need to use the word. 
You would be able to tell just by his body language and him voicing his enjoyment how far you should take things. And when he was comfortable enough, you would discuss other sexual acts, and what else you should try. Though, for tonight, you had a feeling you should take control without telling him too much of what you wanted to do. You didn’t need him getting shy on you just because of some dirty talk. 
“You said that was only the first rule,” Spencer mentioned, remembering what you had said. “What are the other rules?” 
“Well, the second rule is: you listen to me. You listen to everything I say. You do everything I say. You don’t question me.” You told him firmly. “Because I’m the teacher, I’m in charge.” 
Spencer wanted to question you then. He wanted to point out that this sounded like multiple rules, but the way you said ‘I’m in charge’ caused something inside of him to quake, and he easily fell under your authority. 
He nodded. 
“The next rule is: you speak when spoken to, Spencer.” You told him, your tongue sharp on the words. 
You were heavily enjoying ordering him around now. 
These were two roles that the two of you fell so naturally into: he was soft and submissive under your dominant energy, and he only wanted more as your ego thrived off his eager submission. It was the start of a beautiful relationship forming. 
“Yes.” He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” The title came flying out of his mouth before he could stop it, and then he instantly wanted to backpedal. “I’m sorry.” 
“No, I like that.” You told him with a grin. “Though, if you want to give me a title, call me Miss.” 
You held back from telling him the true title you desired. Again, not wanting to scare him away. Perhaps it was something you could ween him towards on another day. 
“Yes, Miss.” He corrected, nodding. “Uh - Miss? Is - is there anything else?” 
“Only two more things.” You told him. Of course, you didn’t want to overload him, but you wanted him to know your most important rules up front. He looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to explain. “You can’t touch me without asking first. And of course, you can’t touch me unless I give you permission.” 
This news cast the saddest puppy look across his features. Clearly, he was deeply disappointed by the thought that he wouldn’t be able to grope and grab at your body freely. He was upset by the thought that you would deny him access to touching you. You could definitely use that if he ever misbehaved. 
“And the last thing is: you can’t cum without my permission.” You told him, almost as if it were an afterthought. With any of your other partners, it would have been. Because it would have been a basic ground rule. 
“Come where?” Spencer asked, his brows knit together in the most adorably confused manner you had seen yet. 
Of course, he was confused. He had never before heard someone use the term ‘cum’ to refer to an orgasm. He was used to hearing that word - ‘come’ - paired with something else like ‘come here’. So he wondered what the hell you possibly meant by it. 
You found yourself grinning like the cat who ate the canary as you realized that you would also have to explain this piece of slang to him. 
“No, Spence, not C-O-M-E, like the verb. It’s C-U-M. It’s slang used interchangeably with the word ‘orgasm’.” You explained to him. “Sometimes it can be a verb. Like the act of cumming, it means orgasming. Or sometimes it’s a noun. Sometimes people use the word ‘cum’ instead of saying semen. ‘Cum’ is the fluid. As in: ‘I want your cum inside of me’.” 
You intentionally teased him with this example, saying it as casually as a straight forward grammar lesson, looking him in the eyes the entire time. His eyes lit up at your words - obviously, he had no clue that such a simple sentence could turn him on so much. But the words immediately painted a picture in his mind of that white, sticky fluid dripping down your inner thighs, put there by him. It was so perfect that it almost made him dizzy. 
When Spencer didn’t say anything, you continued with your ‘lesson’. 
“When I said that you can’t cum without my permission, I meant that you can’t have an orgasm unless I say so.” You told him with finality.  
He looked struck with worry at this. Partially at the idea that he wouldn’t get to have an orgasm if you didn’t give him permission, and partially at the thought that if he accidentally orgasmed without your permission, you would be angry with him and cut off all further sexual contact. 
“What’s wrong, Spence?” You had to ask. 
“How - how does that work?” He asked, all too curious at how he could stop himself from orgasming or how he could get your permission first. 
“Well, you know what it feels like when you’re about to have an orgasm, right?” You asked, really hoping that he at least masturbated regularly. You didn’t think you could have the burden of giving him his first ever orgasm. He nodded and this and you felt a small breath of relief leave you. “So, when you feel like that, you simply ask me if you’re allowed to cum. Ask me if you can cum.” 
“Will you let me?” Spencer asked nervously, sheepishly. You distinctly noticed how he avoided the word. He didn’t say the sentence as you had. You yearned to hear him say ‘will you let me cum?’ - but you knew you had to give him time to shake off his shyness. 
“If you’ve been a good boy, then yes.” You told him. “Good boys follow the rules. But I don’t think you’ll have any problems, Spence.” 
You saw him relax at this - any tension leaving his muscles. 
You conveniently left out the part where you might edge him, might not let him cum just for your own amusement. 
“I think that’s all for now.” You told him. “Now that we have the rules set - do you wanna play with your new toy?” 
Spencer’s face absolutely lit up at this. 
“Yes, please.” He said, his voice somehow still shy and quiet. “Yes, please, Miss.” 
Your stomach jolted with intense pleasure at his declaration. 
Spencer thought that you would simply grab the toy from him and unzip his pants. He was surprised when you stood up, and began looking around the room as though you were looking for something. But in alignment with the rules, he didn’t question you. He didn’t ask what you were looking for or why. Instead, he just sat there quietly and waited for your instructions. 
When you seemed satisfied with your idea, you then began moving around. You leaned down and pushed away the coffee table, pushing it as far back as it would go. This made a fair amount of space in front of the couch. And before Spencer could become truly curious about it, you turned to the side of the room - toward a space where he had a small table. 
It was meant to be a sort of ‘dining’ table, suitable for one or two people in an apartment like his. It had two chairs, but one of the chairs was piled up with books and the surface of the table had some files on it that he had taken home from work. He did sit on the other chair to eat occasionally - during the rare times he actually sat down and had a meal at home. 
You grabbed the empty chair - which was a wooden chair with a round back and decorative wooden bars coming off the seat, holding the back of it up. (Something Spencer had picked up at a yard sale.) And then you put the chair in the middle of the room, right in the space you had cleared from moving the coffee table. The chair was facing the couch - and it became apparent to Spencer then that this was a stage. 
You were either going to sit in that chair and watch him, or he was going to be the thing on display in the middle of the room. The idea of that happening - the idea of you watching him like a show, like he was something to admire - that put a twist in his stomach. It was something almost too daunting for him to conquer. He found himself swelling with shyness again, wanting to back down from this. 
He feared that he wouldn’t be able to impress you. He feared that he was gangly, thin, undesirable. He feared that his experience would steer him wrong somewhere and he would mess up terribly and turn you off. 
He thought that he wouldn’t be able to impress you. 
But he wanted to impress you so badly. He wanted you. He wanted your touch. He wanted to be a good boy for you, like you had said. 
“Give me your belt.” You said, turning to him expectantly and holding out your hand. 
“My - my belt?” He asked. 
Then, he immediately scolded himself inside as he realized that was questioning you, and against the rules. 
You let that one slide. He was still getting used to this, and it must have been an odd, confusing instruction to hear right off the bat. 
“Yes, your belt. I need it.” You said, still holding out your hand. “Come on.” 
Spencer stood up then, his hands and legs shaking slightly from nerves and the overwhelming lust. Although he was taller than you, he felt so entirely small as you stared at him, waiting patiently while his shaking hands struggled to undo the buckle and then slip the leather out of the belt loops.
When he finally handed it over to you, you took the belt in hand and inspected it for a moment before you quietly said ‘perfect’ under your breath. You then looked between Spencer and the chair - he was still wearing his work attire. A cardigan, a button up shirt and tie, his usual slacks, and his adorable dorky glasses. He had taken off his shoes at the door, revealing his oddly sweet mismatched socks. 
“Spencer,” 
You called his name, capturing his attention from where he was swaying on the spot, nervously fidgeting with the buttons on his cardigan to avoid looking at you. As soon as he looked up at you with those big, wet eyes, you felt confident in giving him your next instruction. 
“I want you to take off all your clothes. Except for your glasses and your socks.” You told him, giving him his first proper orders. 
He held his voice in his throat when he felt the need to question you about it, to ask you why. 
You wanted him to keep the glasses on because they brought an entirely dorky charm to him - you wanted to see if they would fog up when he became heated with lust. The socks? You thought they were cute, but it was mostly a test to see how closely he would follow the instructions. To test how well he would listen. 
He did as he was told. He stripped off his sweater, and then his tie, and then his watch, leaving his wrists nice and bare for you. His fingers began to shake slightly as he descended on the buttons of his shirt - clearly, he was feeling nervous once again, so you decided to give him some encouragement. 
“You’re being such a good boy, Spence.” You told him. “So good for me.” 
He let out a quiet breath at the praise - a precursor to a moan. It was something that compelled him to strip faster, and gave him a small boost of courage when reaching for the zipper of his pants. After he unzipped them - his erection clearly fighting to be freed of the fabric - your mouth began watering at the sight as he reached for the waistband of his pants and his underwear all at once and slid them down. 
A snake of surprising length popped out of his pants. His dick began bobbing around carelessly, smearing shiny precum all over his skin as he unhooked himself from the legs of his pants and put them aside. 
You had to marvel at it. 
You had never really thought about what Spencer might look like naked before. You had never allowed your mind to venture there. But now that you were seeing his cock: nine inches long, skinny and lean like he was, pale with a bright pink tip, sprouting from a thick thatch of dark pubic hair - it just made sense. He was tall and gangly, and so was his cock. It would be an impressive sword to impale yourself upon - but that would be for another day. 
Spencer caught you staring, of course. 
He had the urge to cover himself with his hands, and found himself clenching his fists by his sides because he figured that you wouldn’t like him trying to hide from you. 
He wondered if it looked weird. He wondered if you didn’t like it. He wondered-
“You’re beautiful, Spencer.” You said, your voice so drenched in utter sincerity that you almost broke into a gasp trying to get the words out. “So fucking beautiful.” 
Again, he wanted to question you - but didn’t. He wanted to be a good boy. He would follow the rules. 
“Th-thank you, Miss.” He muttered out quietly, almost unable to accept the compliment. 
“Come here, sit down.” You told him, motioning toward the chair. 
He nodded, his legs feeling rather numb as he moved to follow your instructions. When his ass made contact with the wooden surface of the chair, he let out a gasp at how cool it was compared to his heated skin. You quietly giggled at this, and then grabbed the belt from where you had put it down. He grew tense and curious once again when you walked behind him. 
You grabbed one of his wrists and began to guide it behind him, but he was so tense that you knew it would be uncomfortable for him. You eased your touch with a flat palm up his forearm and bicep, across his shoulder until you could press the weight of your thumb into the base of his neck. He moaned lightly at this, melting into the touch. 
“Relax, baby.” You urged. Spencer relaxed even further at the nickname, absolutely blooming with affection inside because of it. “I’m not gonna do anything to hurt you. I just want to make you feel good.” 
To drive home this point, you leaned in and planted a simple kiss on the back of his head, and then one on the side of his neck. Spencer let out a fluttering moan at this. He wanted more of those kisses, but he couldn’t work up the nerve to ask for it. 
He could find no faults with what you had said, so he did his best to do as you instructed. He relaxed, leaning back fully against the chair - which was slightly uncomfortable while he was completely naked and throbbing hard, waiting for you to touch him more. But he trusted you. 
You grabbed one of his wrists, and then the other, and guided them behind his back. 
It was much easier now that his muscles were softer, more pliant to you. 
You knelt down and used the belt to tie them simply. You looped the belt through the wooden slats so his hands would be held to the chair, and then placed both of his wrists into the loop. You didn’t want it to be so tight that the material would cut into his wrists painfully or cut off circulation, you just wanted to restrict his movement. 
Which would absolutely be the case when his arms were bound behind him, awkwardly tied to the back of the chair. You hooked the buckle into the smallest notch, giving him a bit of room to move, a bit of a gap to put your finger between the belt and his skin. However, it put his shoulders at an awkward angle so he would need your help getting out of it. 
“Is that okay?” You asked. “Not too tight? Be honest.” 
Spencer thought that he should feel slightly afraid or too vulnerable - being completely naked and tied to a chair like this. But with you, he felt safe. 
“It’s good.” He told you honestly. “Not too tight.” He assured you, moving to show off that wiggle room, demonstrating that the material wasn’t cutting into his wrists. 
“Good,” You sighed quietly, standing up once again. 
You walked around him like a predator circling their prey, making graceful, careful moments as you took in the sight of him. 
He was absolutely, beautifully sinful in this state. 
Stripped entirely naked, except for those glasses and those adorable, mismatched socks, sitting in the chair with his hands bound behind his back. All while he stared at you with his wide, expectant eyes, waiting for whatever your next move would be. While his heavy, hard cock leaked freely against his stomach, smearing a trail of sticky precum across his skin. 
You reached forward and grabbed his chin, tilting his head up slightly to look at you. Having someone as tall as Spencer look up at you for a change was entirely powerful. You held him there while you asked him a very important question. 
“You gonna be good for me?” You asked him. 
Instinctively for him, there was only one answer. 
“Yes.” He whimpered out. “Yes, Miss. I want to be good for you.” 
The pure sincerity of his declaration caused another wave of wetness from your aching pussy. For now, you would ignore your own needs. You would take care of him, make sure that this was a pleasurable experience for him. 
“Good boy,” You praised him, giving him a light kiss on the forehead - to which he sighed quietly in delight. 
Then, you let go of his face completely and turned to grab the item that had started this whole thing. 
You were excited to finally use it on Spencer. 
Spencer watched with awe and intrigue as you grabbed the toy and then the lube - you peeled off the plastic shrink wrap on the lube bottle with your teeth, and then popped the cap. And you turned so Spencer could see as you poured a generous amount of lube into the opening of the toy. 
“Don’t be afraid to use too much lube,” You told him, being a proper teacher. “In my opinion, there’s no such thing as ‘too wet’. But ‘too dry’ can cause skin irritation from friction. Or tearing if you’re trying to insert something like fingers or a penetrative toy. Like a dildo. Adequate lubrication always reduces the risk of both those things,” 
Spencer wanted to ask if there were other kinds of penetrative toys aside from dildos, but he figured that would be a question for another time. 
“Yes, Miss.” He nodded in understanding, absorbing what you had told him. 
You looked between the toy and his cock, and realized you might as well slick him up beforehand. 
You took a step closer to him and put the thickness of the fleshlight between his thighs, propping it there while you quietly mumbled ‘hold this’ - which caused him to tense his thighs in order to keep it from falling. He became enraptured by the sight of the silicone pussy, lubed and wet as a real one would be. He was so distracted by the sight that he almost didn’t take in you pouring lube into your hand before you capped the bottle and put it aside. 
“This is probably gonna be cold,” You warned him quietly before you used your lubed hand to take a hold of his cock. 
It was. And he let out a harsh gasp - from the shock of the cold wetness, a sound that quickly turned into a strangled moan as you formed a loose grip around his cock and began spreading the wetness over him with purpose. The lube soon warmed between your palm and the throbbing skin of his cock, and he unconsciously bucked into your touch, almost knocking the fleshlight out from resting between his thighs. 
“Stay still.” You ordered sharply, shoving his hips back down with your free hand. 
The harshness behind your voice, and your thumb pressing into his hip bone sent him reeling. He was so pliant under your touch. Between your commanding authority and the slickness of your lubed hand moving in a slow rhythm in lazy pumps up and down his cock - he was already way too fucking close. 
You knew it. You could see the way his stomach muscles quaked, the tensing of his thighs. Those little lilting gasps like music to your ears. 
You wondered if he would spurt cum all over your hand before he warned you. (If he did, you would likely pump him through it just to see if he would get hard again.) 
“Miss-!” He hollered, choking on the word. 
You abruptly stopped then. You stiffened your grip around the base of his cock - which was now nicely lubed up, and throbbing even harder as you effectively used your fingers around his pelvis like a cockring, causing his orgasm to fade dully back into his muscles. He let out a wounded sound, a confused moan from deep in his chest, his stomach shaking even harder as if he was trying to force the orgasm out past your gatekeeping touch. It was almost cute. 
“Yes, Spencer?” You asked, looking at him dumbly as though you had no clue what he had been trying to say. 
“I - I was getting close.” He completed the thought breathlessly. “C-close to orgasm.” 
Damn. If he was this fucked out now, you couldn’t wait to see what he would be like when you were done with him. 
“Well, good boys only cum with permission, right?” You said, grinning at him fiendishly. 
“Yes, Miss.” He said quickly, his voice dull with disappointment, but agreeable. 
“Good boy.” You praised once again. You felt his cock twitch in your hand at the words. “Besides, you haven’t even gotten a chance to try out your new toy yet.” 
You then grabbed up the toy and turned it over, using your hand on the base of his cock to feed his length into the fake pussy. More cool lube came rushing down to meet him, and his lungs shook once again and his heated skin was shocked by the feeling. It was strange, but pleasurable as his cock was enveloped by the soft, wet walls of the toy. It was so, so very tight around his cock - and oddly cool, far wetter than he had expected thanks to the amount of lube you had used. 
Spencer reasoned that it might be like sticking his cock in a watermelon, if that watermelon were also made of rubber bands. 
You knelt down in front of Spencer, looking in awe between the spot where his cock disappeared into the fake leaking pussy to his face. Seeing his reaction to this was utterly beautiful - the way his jaw naturally fell open, his eyes half closed as the pleasure overtook him. 
“Oh!” Spencer let out a sudden, high startled sound as you shoved the toy down onto his cock fully. 
Your eyes once again flickered between his dick and his face, and you came to an utterly stunning realization. 
He didn’t fully fit inside of the toy. 
There was about an inch of his cock that was still sticking out of it at the base, and with the resistance your hand had brought up into, you knew that he was fully seated inside of it. Well - as fully seated as he could get, apparently. 
It was one of the hottest things you had ever seen, and it sent a dizzying wave of endorphins through you. The sight of his cock not fully fitting into the silicone pussy was a stunning visual that made you realize just how deep he would go inside of you. It made your throat dry for a moment, forced you to swallow hard before you could speak. 
“You’re right here, baby?” You asked, tapping a finger on the top of the toy, knowing that he would feel it as a vibration through the plastic. 
He let out a gasp and bucked his hips up slightly, something that made you smile. He was too hazy to answer you already, something that you forgave for now. He was just too beautiful to scold in these moments. 
“Fuck, you don’t even fit into this thing all the way, do you?” You gasped quietly, still absolutely marveling at the sight. 
“I don’t?” Spencer gaped, finally looking down to where the toy was swallowing his cock, seeing as your words had captured his attention. “Is - is that bad?” 
He was struck with worry. He thought that perhaps his cock wasn’t right - that he shouldn’t be doing this, that you wouldn’t like him. 
It was in that moment that you realized what a treasure you had come across. A beautiful, intelligent man with a huge cock who had no idea how to use it. Someone who needed to be taught from scratch. Someone who could be molded into anything you wanted him to be. (At least in the sexual sense.) That, and he seemed to be naturally submissive and derive pleasure from following your orders. 
You most definitely weren’t going to let him go anytime soon. 
“No, baby, that’s a good thing.” You assured him. “That’s a great thing.” 
Spencer smiled at this - an expression that slacked off into a moan when you made your next move. 
You gave the toy a slow half-pump before you seated it on his cock again, seemingly knocking the wind out of them. Then, you let go of the toy completely, letting him sit there with the fleshlight on his cock, bobbing in mid-air. It began to rise up slightly as the tightness of it hugged his cock, and unconsciously, he bucked up his hips, seeking more friction. But of course - the object was simply hanging there, seated on his cock, unmoving. It was an entirely fruitless venture. 
With his hands tied behind his back, he needed you. It was an adorable struggle to watch for a moment, especially when his face knit with frustration and his thighs began to quiver from the effort. 
“Please,” He begged. He was so pretty when he begged. “Help me.” 
“You want me to help you fuck your toy?” You teased, reaching for it again. 
“Please, Miss.” 
When he whined like that, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. 
You took a good grip on the plastic then, and began a quick, smooth rhythm. You were eager to see his reaction to being fucked well, being fucked without hesitation. 
Spencer immediately shuddered and began letting out harsh whimpers. He bit his lip, but it didn’t keep the sounds from wailing out of his throat as you pumped the toy up and down on his cock. 
His chin was tilted down onto his chest, keeping his eyes locked on the place where the toy was devouring his hard cock. This caused his glasses to slip down his nose bridge slightly, something so entirely adorable to you in the moment. With his thighs tense and his stomach quaking, with that pool of artificial wetness leaking onto his pubes and slowly creeping down over his balls - he was so beautifully fucked out, the most perfect picture you had ever seen in your life. 
“Oh - oh, oh, oh god!” His mouth fell open once again and an array of sounds fell out, a beautiful little choir that you could have only dreamed of coming from him. “Oh, please!” 
You had to wonder if he was the type of person to swear when he came. Spencer was never the type of person to swear during other extreme situations. You had never seen him let out a single curse, not even with a gun to his head. 
You had to wonder if you could be the one to make him swear. 
“Please, Miss!” He squeaked out, sounding entirely wrecked and desperate. “Please, I’m close-!” 
You couldn’t resist the temptation of stilling the toy completely, abruptly cutting off his orgasm once again. Spencer let out a broken sound as his muscles jolted and the feeling ebbed through him - so close, but not quite there. It was like a terrible ache in his muscles. Like a deep, terrible thirst with nothing to drink. 
“Please,” He begged, his eyes shooting to lock onto you. “Please! Please, Miss.” 
“Please, what, baby?” You teased him, reaching up and gently carding your fingers through his hair, brushing some of it off his forehead. He had a light sheen of sweat going, his body clearly strained. It was delightful to witness. 
“Please,” He rasped out brokenly, so entirely desperate.  “I - I need it.” 
You bit your lip, holding back laughter at how perfect this was.
“Need what, baby?” You continued to tease him. “Come on, use your words.” 
He swallowed hard, and stared at you with glassy desperation in his eyes. Either he was shy, or had no clue what exactly it was you wanted him to say - so you decided to guide him along. 
“Say: I need to cum.” You told him, hoping that he was desperate enough now that he would simply repeat the filthy words. 
“I - I need to cum.” He repeated, only mild hesitation on his lips. 
“Say: I need you to make me cum.” You told him, pushing it a bit father. 
“I need you,” He said, pausing slightly to catch his breath. “Need you to make me cum.” 
“Good boy.” You praised him, running his hand through your hair once again. 
You stood up this time, and put one hand on the back of the chair behind his shoulder for leverage, leaning over him as you took the toy in hand and started moving it once again. This gave him a perfect view down your top, and his lustful gaze locked onto your swaying cleavage as you worked on jacking the fake pussy on his cock. It was a maddening suction that had him grunting lowly with every thrust, letting out whines, flexing his hips to fuck his cock up into the toy. 
“Does it feel good, pretty boy?” You asked, so heavily enjoying the sight of him so messy, so wrecked. 
“Yes!” He easily replied. 
“What are you thinking about? Hmm?” You couldn’t help but to ask. 
“I - hnng - I - I don’t know!” He gaped. 
Either he was lying, and simply didn’t want to tell you what was on his mind, or you had truly fucked his head empty. If it was the second, then you would heavily enjoy that fact. 
“You don’t know?” You asked, your voice absolutely teasing once again. “Well, that’s a first.” You chuckled. 
Spencer panted harshly, filling the space for a moment - along with the wet squelching of the toy moving up and down on his cock as your wrist continued to work. And then you became bold enough to ask the question that you truly wanted to. 
“You thinkin’ about my pussy?” You prodded. “You imagining that this toy is me? Wondering what’s gonna be like when I finally sit on your cock?” 
“Yes!” He was suddenly very eager to admit to this. Clearly it helped that he didn’t have to say the words for himself. “Yes! Yes, Miss! I want you. I want your-”
He cut himself off suddenly, moaning sharply as the tip of his cock brought up in the end of the fake pussy once again. It sent a jolt of pleasure-pain through him that had his skin boiling even hotter. You wondered if he would be bold enough to say the word ‘pussy’ or if you would have to heavily prompt him. 
But that thought left your head completely with his next words. 
“Oh! Oh, please! I’m so close!” 
Again, feeling the devil rise up inside of you, you stopped off his orgasm. 
This time, by pulling the toy away completely. You lifted the fleshlight off his cock, and watched with lustful joy as his cock slipped out of the opening with a wet pop. His thighs quaked with bitter agony and his long cock bobbed in the air, dripping thick waves of precum and lube as it separated from the toy. 
Everything was so wet. 
It was honestly a gorgeous sight, like a mini tidal wave dripping down onto the chair as the toy continued to leak the generous amount of lube you had put into it and his cock let out pathetic little spurts of precum. His pubes were glossy and matted together, his inner thighs were absolutely slick. He was glistening and whining harshly as the ruined orgasm crashed through his body, making his mind somehow even hazier and more desperate. 
“God!” He choked out. “Please!” 
He blinked harshly and a few tears escaped the corners of his eyes, making him look even more gorgeous somehow. 
“Please - please! I need - I need - oh god!” He began sobbing nonsensically, begging you for release as he was practically on the verge of madness. 
Your cunt throbbed at seeing him so wrecked - so utterly dependent on you. 
“Hey, hey, shh.” You reached your free hand out and thumbed under the edge of his glasses - the thick lenses only magnifying his glassy eyes and lustful, broken tears all the more. You soothed your touch across his burning cheek, reassuring him. “You’ve been such a good boy. I’m gonna let you cum now. Okay?” 
“Please!” He sobbed. 
Hearing his voice so broken and needy probably shouldn’t have turned you on so much, but you absolutely loved it. 
“Hey, shh,” You continued to rub his cheek, and he leaned into the touch. “I just need one thing from you first.” 
“Anything!” He easily declared. 
“I need you to say: ‘may I cum, please?’” You told him. 
It was a start on the scale of filthy things that you wanted to hear from his mouth, but it would definitely be oh so satisfying. 
And then - as if he knew exactly what he was doing to you, he blinked his big eyes and looked up at you through tear wet lashes, giving you the most pouty, fuckable look as he leaned into your hand before he said the words. 
“May I cum, please?” He asked. And then, like the wet dream that he was, he seamlessly added on. “Please, Miss. I-I’ve been a good boy.” 
“Yes, you have been.” You told him. “I’ll make you cum now baby.” 
You used both hands to get his cock back inside of the toy - the sound of his cock fucking back into the fake pussy was so much wetter, the whine he let out made your knees weak. 
You doubled your efforts now, even going so far as to squeeze your grip on the outside of the plastic - which made the silicone grip his cock just that little bit tighter as you slammed it up and down on him. Your movements were hard and fast in the effort to make him cum for certain this time. 
“Oh, oh, oh, you - oh!” Spencer began babbling nonsense, his words barely broken up by harsh breaths being sucked into his lungs and whimpers emanating from his throat at the intense pleasure. “Oh, Miss - you - you’re so - ah!” 
“Where’s that big IQ now, boy genius?” You taunted him, keeping up the brutal pace. “Did I make you all stupid? Did I melt your big brain? Huh?” 
Spencer all but confirmed this as truth when he gurgled out nothingness as a response. 
You felt slightly bolder, and you became slightly harsher in your degrading words. You almost couldn’t help yourself. You loved tearing him apart so much, having him melt under your touch. You couldn’t help but to brag about the amazing job you had done. 
“Just a dumb little baby now, aren’t you?” You cooed, your voice entirely condescending. “Just a stupid little boy for me. So cumdrunk you can’t even think now, huh? There’s no boy genius here now. Just a dumb baby who needs to cum.” 
He only inflated your ego with his next words. 
“Yes!” He shouted out, entirely confirming what you had said - if he had even properly heard it through the blood pumping in his ears. To him, it might have just been the raw hum of your voice in the background, like an undertone with no true words to it. “Yes! Need - need t’ cum!” 
It was the most incoherent you had ever known Doctor Spencer Reid to be. 
You stared on eagerly as you watched his stomach tighten up, his lungs struggling for breath. 
“Y/N-!” He gasped out your name right before it hit him. 
And when it hit him, when he finally tumbled over the edge into the abyss - boy, it was a big one. 
It was an intense, full body orgasm. His legs shook, his body arched off the chair as though he were having a seizure, actually putting a strain on his bonded arms for the first time. He wildly bucked up into the toy as you continued to work it over his cock, his mouth dropping open wildly as a strain of high pitched, needy whimpers poured out from between his pretty pink lips. 
You were feeling selfish, and you wanted to see him cum at least a bit. 
So knowing that he was riding the wave, you ripped the toy off him, causing a wounded noise to come out of him as his spurting cock fell from it. But you didn’t leave him hanging. You immediately replaced the toy with your hand, and put a tight grip around him, pumping viciously over his throbbing cock, wanting to milk the rest of the orgasm out of him by hand. 
The sudden, shocking overstimulation sent his body into overdrive. 
His thighs shook so hard it could have been mistaken for electrocution, he gasped like a drowning man - he would have begged for mercy, but he couldn’t catch his breath. 
It was the best feeling he had ever experienced. It was pure euphoria, it was heaven on earth. It was an icy hot fire running through his veins that he didn’t even know was possible. 
He had never experienced an orgasm like this before. He knew the feeling of an orgasm to be more like a dull tickle in his groin. But now that he had done this - he didn’t think he could go back to anything else. 
Large spurts of cum blasted from his cock, so overpowering then that painted his stomach, his chest, and much to your delight - a few thick white spurts even dirtied his glasses when you angled his cock that way and kept viciously pumping him. 
His cock was so hot that it felt like it could have burned your hand, so needy and bloated with blood from how long you had edged him. Eventually, when the tip of his cock began to weep out a pathetic clear liquid, and he was on the verge of sobbing once more, you let him go from your grip, finally giving him a moment to breathe. 
You knew for certain that you would never be able to look at Spencer Reid again without seeing this imagery: him, completely fucked out, his face flushed red, mouth agape as he struggled for breath. His naked body, limp cock laying against his pelvis, painted in his own cum - including dirtying up his own glasses. 
You loved those glasses even more now. 
You couldn’t get him to swear - but fuck, that was really something. 
“Thank you.” He said meekly, still struggling for breath. “Th-thank you, Miss.” 
“Good boy.” You leaned in and kissed his forehead. “Such a good boy for me.” 
Now, it was time to take care of him and make sure that he had a good come down. 
You put the toy on the coffee table, placing it with the opening up so it wouldn’t leak everywhere - you wouldn’t clean it later. You also took off his glasses and placed them aside. Again - you would clean them later. 
You rushed to untie his hands, and eased his arms back around his body by gently rubbing his shoulders, hoping that the muscles wouldn’t be too sore or stiff from being in the same position for so long. 
“Such a good boy.” You assured him. “You did so well for me honey.” 
He hummed in acknowledgement. Clearly, he was absolutely exhausted from the ordeal. You hoped you could get his tall, gangly self to his bed on your own if he was so fucked out and weak. You walked back around to his front and laid your lips on his forehead again, murmuring more praises against his skin as you continued to rub his shoulders and run your fingers through his hair. You told him how good he was, how perfect he had been for you, how beautiful he was. 
After a few minutes, you felt his hands on your hips as he came out of the haze. He ran a thumb along the waistband of your pants, and his first words after that haze surprised you. 
“What - what about you?” He asked. 
Clearly, he meant that you should have an orgasm. Your cunt was aching dully between your thighs, and you were sure that you had soaked through your underwear. But that had been a lot for him, and you didn’t want to overwhelm him during the first time. 
“That’ll be a lesson for next time.” You told him quietly. He hummed quietly at this. He felt assured by you simply saying ‘next time’. “I have to clean up your toy now, so you can use it again later. Then I’ll clean you up and tuck you into bed, okay, baby?” 
He nodded. “Yes, please. Thank you.” 
You hesitantly broke away from him and grabbed the toy, and as you moved to leave the room, you paused at him mumbling out more words. 
“Can - can I have a glass of water, please?” He asked quietly. 
“Of course you can, baby.” 
You went into the kitchen and ran the toy under hot water - which you left going as you got a glass and filled it with cold water and ice from the dispenser. You were lucky to find a straw in the takeout bag from earlier - you put it in the glass and, while the hot water was still running in the sink, you rushed out to give Spencer a drink. 
You held the glass while he chugged gratefully from it, and after a few moments, you ensured that he could hold it with his sex tired hands by himself and then you left to finish cleaning up the toy. You set it on his empty dish rack to drip dry (which was quite a sight). And then you went to the bathroom, coming back with a warm cloth to wipe him down. He was only slightly unsteady on his legs as you guided him to bed - his muscles shaking and tired after the whole amazing ordeal. 
You found it endearing that his bed was unmade, surrounded by stacks of books that were lined up on the floor, rather than on any shelf. 
You pulled back the covers completely and helped him get in, and you were tucking him in nicely when he asked the sweet question. 
“Will you cuddle with me?” He asked quietly, looking up at you with those adorable, expectant eyes once again. “You know, for - for the aftercare?” 
You likely would have done it simply because he asked, even if you didn’t deem it ‘necessary’ for aftercare. But because he asked, it was part of good care. 
“Of course.” You answered. “I don’t have any pjs, so do you mind if I sleep in my underwear?” 
You had just tucked him into bed naked, and he was asking you to lay down beside him like that. But still, you wanted to ask how comfortable he would be if you were in a state of undress. 
His eyes shined with interest at the idea of seeing you at least partially undressed. 
“I don’t mind.” He told you. 
You nodded, and stepped back slightly to begin undressing. 
“So - did you have fun?” You asked. You suspected that he had entirely enjoyed himself, but you did want to hear him say it. 
Spencer grinned at this. “I think what we just did has changed my definition of ‘fun’ entirely.” He told you. “In a good way. So you know.” 
You preened at the idea that you had shifted Spencer’s worldview. Someone who most likely spent his free time reading research papers and playing through chess games entirely on his own and called it ‘fun’ would now be thinking about spending his free time playing with you instead. 
You stripped out of your pants, socks, and work blouse, which left you in your simple cotton underwear, a thin cotton camisole and your bra underneath. You decided to take off your bra underneath your shirt and just sleep in the cami and panties for comfort. You knew your underwear was stuck to your cunt from your previous burning arousal, and Spencer’s eyes did focus hard on that, and then focused even harder on the outline of your bare breasts as you ditched your bra off to the side. 
If he had the ability to get hard again after that spectacular orgasm, he probably would have been throbbing at the sight of you. 
You lifted up the covers and crawled into bed with him, cuddling into his side as he tentatively wrapped an arm around your waist. Your stomach fluttered when he kissed the top of your head before you felt his body relax into the mattress. 
“Thank you.” He said quietly, clearly exhausted. “I love it when you teach me things.”
...
Keep Reading Here - Lesson Two: Magic Metacarpals
Note: This is a Capsule Series, so each fic can be read as an individual oneshot. There is no overarching story, and no specific ending.
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tenpintsofsundrop · 8 months
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Lessons For A Genius - Lesson One
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Sub!Spencer Reid x Dom!Fem!Reader
Lesson One: Slick Silicone
(aka the one with the pocket pussy)
Summary:
What could a certified genius possibly have to learn from someone like you? Turns out - a hell of a lot. 
And the real ‘teaching’ started when your graphic explanations of slang toward Spencer for the sheer shock value of it turned into something a lot more… hands on. 
Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU)Dom!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during early Season 2.
Word Count: 17,200
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Full list of warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: A lot of general stuff pertaining to an average Criminal Minds episode - mentions of death, mentions of murder/killing, mentions of possible trauma from being in the BAU, somewhat graphic descriptions of a dismembered corpse; this is not a casefic but there is a small section where Reid, Morgan, and the reader are at a crime scene and details of a case are mentioned (not a case in the canon, one that I made up); the reader sticks her hand inside of a corpse to get something out of it for the purpose of discovering evidence; making inappropriate jokes about dead bodies - the reader character uses dark humour to cope with the trauma of the BAU job; Spencer doesn't understand sexual slang and the reader has to explain it to him (warning for slightly awkward moments because of this?); the reader calls Spencer 'honey' (could be considered condescending); use of Y/N and L/N (meaning Your Last Name); Reid struggling with his sexuality/Reid has some internal biphobia; mentions of anal sex/anal stimulation but it does not take place during the fic; passing mentions of Reid being bullied in school; mentions of past Spencer x Lila Archer (in this fic, she blew him while he was working that case but they didn't keep contact when he left LA); mentions of the reader going to a sex shop; mentions of the reader dressing feminine/wearing lingerie; mention of Spencer being taller than the reader - but I think he would be taller than most people.
This is primarily a smut fic; there is sub/dom dynamics - Reid is submissive and much more inexperienced (he is 'learning' about sex from the reader character, but he is not completely a virgin, he has had one singular sexual experience before); the reader is dominant and much more experienced sexually; the reader has a vagina and uses she/her pronouns; mentions of Reid being 'innocent' (it's more so that sex is an under-researched area of his life and he is too shy to explore it by himself); undertones of corruption kink; use of a sex toy - the reader gifts Spencer a fleshlight/pocket pussy and they use it together; hand kink - the reader admires Spencer's hands; undertones of corruption kink - the reader is enjoying 'corrupting' Spencer and showing him these things for the first time; BDSM/kink negotiations, possibly under-negotiated kink; the reader teaches Spencer BDSM terms.
Everything in this fic is fully consensual and safe for the characters; Spencer calls the reader 'Miss'; mentions of Spencer cumming inside the reader (does not actually happen during the fic); passing mentions of Spencer being insecure (about his sexual skills and his looks); Spencer is very obedient; the reader calls Spencer: 'good boy', 'baby', 'pretty boy', 'dumb baby'; most of this fic is Spencer being fucked with a fleshlight while it's controlled by the reader; heavy praise kink (from the reader toward Spencer); light bondage - Spencer's hands are bound behind his back; edging - orgasm delay/orgasm denial (from the reader toward Spencer); the reader makes Spencer ask permission to cum; some size kink - big dick Spencer is too big to fully fit inside of a fleshlight; Spencer does a lot of begging in this; slight crying kink - the reader thinks Spencer looks pretty when he cries from being overwhelmed/edged a lot; degradation kink, dumbification kink, reader is condescending towards Spencer; some overstimulation toward the end; slight cum kink - Spencer cums all over himself and the reader enjoys it. I believe that's it. There is descriptions of aftercare!
A/N: fair warning - a lot of this fic is build up/sexual tension (my speciality). and there is a long section before the smut where the reader is teaching Spencer BDSM terms and teaching him how to pick a safeword, but I think it's interesting and I enjoyed writing it. and it's worth the pay-off imo. also remember, if you want me to continue this series, please give me some feedback on it! I would love to hear what you thought of this fic before I start writing another one! I highly resisted the urge to put Mommy kink in this, but I feel like it would be unrealistic for a shy Spencer to be comfortable calling his partner Mommy during a first time (he would have a Mommy kink but he would be way too uptight/uncomfortable to admit it).
...
Being an FBI Profiler meant there were some rather… strange parts to your day. 
Things that were once in a lifetime tragedies for other people that had become intensely casual routines for you. Things like - looking at gruesome crime scene photos, seeing a dead body in person, facing down a killer. 
You liked to thank your nihilism and dark sense of humor for keeping you sane, working a job that would have driven others insane in such a short amount of time. You also liked to distance yourself from the darkness of it, and preferred to think of the people you helped, rather than the people you couldn’t. 
Especially during moments like this, when you were exiting the car at yet another crime scene. It was a dump sight for the body of another young woman, adding to the trail of victims this newest killer was challenging the BAU with. 
“Just like all the others… the limbs and jaw are missing. Eyes gouged out. This guy has one hell of a compulsion.” Morgan commented, looking down at the body… or rather, the torso, with intense disdain. 
“I would say it’s less of a compulsion, and more of a fractured sense of reality.” Reid commented. “It’s likely that the UnSub sees these corpses as pieces of art. It’s why he was frustrated when the first four weren’t found soon enough, that they weren’t discovered when they were… ‘fresh’, so to speak. That’s why he started leaving the clues for law enforcement. He wants his ‘art’ to be seen in a timely manner.” 
“Couldn’t the guy just take up painting or something?” You replied, looking at the body, still slightly shocked by how brutal the whole thing was. 
“Looks like we got another one.” Morgan pointed out, crouching down beside the body, motioning toward a large gash between the victim’s ribs. “Another clue, that is.” 
For the last three victims, the UnSub had cut a hole into their torso and left some kind of object inside. Something small that hinted at where the next victim would be found. 
Morgan looked over his shoulder at you, as though waiting for you to make a move. When you turned to Reid, he was looking over the rim of his coffee cup at you with very expectant eyes, the thick lenses of his glasses making his stare all the more imposing. 
You quickly realized that both of the men wanted you to stick your hand inside the corpse and pull out whatever was inside. 
“What?” You chuckled. “You want me to do it? Is it just cause you think I’m the gross one?” 
Your reputation for having a strong stomach preceded you. 
You were shy or squeamish about anything, socially or functionally, and the team often took advantage of this. They would throw you into an interrogation with a suspect who made crude comments and you would end up grossing the man out with even more graphic words. They would have you sifting through a suspect’s trash looking for receipts or pieces of evidence and sometimes you would laugh at the things you found, rather than gagging at the smell. 
It was rare that anyone on the team saw you flinch. 
“The body’s been sittin’ out here in the sun for three hours.” Morgan said, glancing from the corpse up to the bright sky overhead. “I’m not doin’ it.”
You chanced another look at Reid. The small smirk he wore told you that he wouldn’t have to give some lame excuse about how he was squeamish and had just eaten in order for you to truly give in. 
“Ugh, fine.” You said. 
You naturally met Reid’s hand when he came out of his pocket with a blue latex glove for you to wear. You put it on, switching places with Morgan so you could kneel down beside the body. You put your ungloved hand on the ground to support yourself, and then inserted your fingers into the cavity - the hole between the ribs that the UnSub had made. 
Luckily, you didn’t have to reach too far inside before you felt something. Though, because of the slight decomposition of the body and the bloat from the sun beating down, you did have some trouble getting a good grip on the item to pull it out. 
Naturally, your discomfort with the situation caused your dark sense of humor to act up. You needed the comfort and you barely thought about the odd joke before it left your lips. 
“God, it’s like a fucking fleshlight in here,” You groaned, disgusted laced through your voice as you finally hooked your fingers around the object and managed to pull it out of the wound. 
Morgan chuckled at the joke and held out an evidence bag for you (which he had gotten from one of the uniformed officers on the scene). Before any of you could truly analyze the item that you had just pulled out of the body cavity, a voice trampled over your thoughts as you dropped the item into the plastic bag. 
“Don’t you mean flashlight?” Reid piped up, so eager to correct you, as always. “Also, how is that comparable?” 
You looked up at Reid with awe. 
For a moment, you wondered if he was fucking with you. 
But the look of genuine confusion plastered across his features - something so rare for the certified genius. That look made you realize that he genuinely didn’t know what a fleshlight was. He had no idea what you were talking about. 
Your insides tingled with glee at this realization. 
Morgan sighed when he saw the look that you and Reid exchanged. You, wearing filthy, smug dawning and Reid painted entirely with cluelessness. He hated where the exchange was going, knowing how shameless you always were in conversation. He quickly tried to distract from the interaction. 
“So, this looks like a horseshoe-” Morgan said, motionting to the object in the evidence bag. 
“No, I meant fleshlight.” You said, quickly trampling over Morgan’s words. “F-L-E-S-H-L-I-G-H-T. Fleshlight. Do you not know what that means?” 
This caused Morgan to sigh sharply and shake his head. 
You took off the glove with a snap and tossed it away, happy to be rid of the smell. 
You stood back to your full height, entirely intrigued by Reid’s continued confusion. 
“It could represent luck. Maybe a casino?” Morgan tried in vain to distract the two of you from the conversation once again. 
Maybe he was trying to preserve Reid’s naive innocence, something you were determined to dismantle piece by piece because it gave you intense joy to see the shock cross his features whenever you explained outrageous concepts to him. The time you had explained to him what a ‘blumpkin’ was, you hadn’t stopped laughing for hours when he could hardly believe you. 
“The nearest casino is 45.6 miles away, it’s far outside the UnSub’s geographical comfort zone.” Reid said, quickly dismissing Morgan’s thread of conversation before he turned back to you. “And no, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is it a coroner’s term?” 
You let out a harsh snort at this. You had gotten a degree in mortuary science before you became a Profiler (likely something to thank for your strong stomach). But it was your other area of ‘study’ that made you an expert in this. 
“No, honey, it’s not.” You quickly answered. 
There was a slight flash through his features when you called him ‘honey’. You weren’t sure if it was shock or displeasure, but either way he quickly straightened his face and went back to intrigue. He stared at you with his full attention, ready for you to explain it to him. He was ready to learn and catalog the information in that big brain of his.
It was something you found entirely endearing. 
“L/N, please, don’t-” Morgan begged you not to explain it any further, once again wanting to keep Reid in the dark. 
Mostly, he wanted to save himself from the embarrassment of witnessing the interaction between the two of you. 
“What?” You chuckled sharply, turning to Morgan. “There are some things the genius still needs to learn, apparently.” 
Reid rolled his eyes at this. He didn’t want to admit that it was true. 
“The other night I had to explain to him what the distinct difference between a Butt Dial and a Booty Call is,” You continued, giving an example to prove your point. “Because he walked into the bullpen and loudly announced to JJ and Elle that he was sorry that he booty called me at 3am and woke me up.” 
Morgan choked on his laughter when you explained this. 
“Dude, seriously?” He posed, raising a brow at Reid. 
“I fell asleep with my phone in my back pocket when I was reading Voltaire.” Reid explained, a heavy blush falling over his cheeks. “I thought - I thought -” 
“Okay, playboy, I’m gonna go call Hotch about this,” Morgan announced, motioning toward the evidence bag. “And I’m gonna pretend not to hear anything that’s happening over here.” 
Morgan walked off to the car, and Reid turned to you with a defeated look cast over his features. 
“I do appreciate when you explain these kinds of things to me.” He told you softly. “It… it saves me from future embarrassment.” 
As much as you enjoyed the shock factor of watching Spencer’s innocence melt away when you explained such crude things so abruptly - that was also part of your motivation. You knew that as much as he was a genius - had stunning intellect on paper, could recite statistics by heart - he didn’t have the kind of social skills or social knowledge that you did. 
“Do you really wanna know what I was talking about before?” You posed, giving him one last chance to preserve that innocence. 
He nodded, ever thirsty to chase an unanswered question. 
You held back a giggle. 
“A fleshlight is also called a pocket pussy.” You told him, launching into a quick, efficient explanation for his confusion so that he could have his question answered. 
“What?” He gaped, having the most beautifully dumb look on his face as the words left his lips. 
“It’s a sex toy.” You told him. 
His face scrunched even further into bewilderment, and you knew that now he was simply jumping through mental hoops, wondering what kind of sex toy a ‘pocket pussy’ could be. So you decided to make your explanation a bit more detailed. 
“It’s a…” You thought for a moment about how to explain it to someone who had never seen one before. “A kind of tube? Usually in the shape of a large flashlight, and on the inside there’s a silicone vagina, or sometimes a silicone anus, and it’s meant to simulate intercourse the same way that a dildo can simulate intercourse by going into a vagina. Or an anus, of course. You do know what a dildo is, right?” 
Reid quickly nodded his head - that bright flush even fresher on his cheeks as a deep thoughtfulness came over his features. 
“Yeah. Y-yeah. I got it.” He quickly stuttered out, assuring you that he now fully understood. 
“Cool.” You said, walking by him and thumping him on the shoulder for reassurance that the conversation was over. 
“Wait, is that the hand that you - inside? You haven’t washed your hands yet!” 
“I wore a glove, Reid!” 
… 
Turns out the horseshoe had a unique stamping on it from a closed down metalworks business. Four thousand square feet of abandoned building, perfect for the UnSub to make his ‘art’ inside. He had intended for the clue to lead the team to a barn where he had staged the next corpse, but you broke into the building and caught him in the act of drugging another woman before she was killed. 
The state of the building was horrifying - the limbs of the other victims strewn about, a lot of them put on display like trophies. 
Overall, you would call it a good day. There was a life saved. 
On the way back home, Spencer could barely make eye contact with you while on the jet. His eyes constantly flickered away from you with purpose whenever you looked near him. The two of you played Gin Rummy and you had to remind Reid to take his turn several times. There was even one point where he won a hand and you had to tell him so - he claimed that he had ‘forgotten the rules’. As if. 
You couldn’t figure out why he was acting so strangely. You wanted to chalk it up to the harshness of the case, the graphic nature of things - but you both had seen much worse. The ‘fleshlight’ conversation was so minimal on your radar, such a shameless moment for you. It was something you considered so entirely regular as an interaction on the rollercoaster of all things bizarre that was Spencer Reid. You were barely even thinking about it. 
You had no clue that it was racing through his mind at top speed as he remembered your words from earlier that day. 
… 
Spencer couldn’t stop thinking about it. 
He wasn’t sure why it had never occurred to him before. Sure, there were plenty of things he didn’t know, like you said. Plenty of things he was curious about, but far too shy to look up. Plenty of things he didn’t want to get caught looking up out of fear of embarrassment. 
He knew some things about sex toys. He knew far more about the history of sex toys than he did about modern sex toys. He could tell you that Cleopatra had owned one of the first rudimentary vibrators, made from the shell of a hollowed out gourd filled with bees. But if he walked into a sex shop today, he probably wouldn’t know what half the stuff was or what it was used for. 
When he thought about what you had told him, it only made sense. 
Of course there would be some kind of solution, some kind of ‘opposite’ to a silicone penis used to simulate sex inside a vagina. 
(“Or an anus, of course.”) 
Those words flying out of your mouth so casually had sent Reid’s imagination flying into an array of interesting directions. Of course he knew that plenty of men liked to partake in anal stimulation for pleasure. There were no particular statistics about this that came to mind, because it was never something he had directly read a study about. 
It was something Reid had always been curious about, because he did know that prostate stimulation was often considered to be the height of pleasure for men. 
(Spencer’s attraction to men was a can of worms that he would leave untouched and attend to another day. The innate warmth that he felt when he looked at Morgan was something he always felt the need to suppress. Even though it was quite literally impossible for him, he was still trying to forget the involuntary reaction he had when he looked at a gay porn magazine that his classmates had left in his locker as a joke when he was thirteen.) 
For the most part, his mind was hyper-fixating on your explanation of that object he had never even heard of before. The antithesis of a dildo, the supposed inversion of the male genitalia in a more portable form. 
A pocket pussy. 
You talked about it so casually, explained it so perfectly. You spoke about it in such a way that it left Reid’s mind whirring, wondering what such an object could specifically look like. Of course, he knew what a vagina looked like. In theory. 
Yes, he was a virgin. 
He actually wondered if he fit that definition exactly. He knew that most people considered virginity to be a milestone passed once they had participated in full blown intercourse for the first time. But he wondered if what he had done would ‘count’ as losing his virginity. It was something he would have asked you, would have wanted your social colloquial opinion on - if he wasn’t so embarrassed about being a virgin in the first place. (Or maybe being a virgin, he still wasn’t too sure.) 
He had been touched by a woman before, but only once. 
After he and Lila Archer had climbed out of the pool, before the team had arrived, she had kissed him on the mouth again and continued to thank him for his ‘bravery’ and ongoing protection in a very interesting way. And before he could truly process it or stop her (due to the intense unprofessionalism) - his pants were down and her mouth was on him. Because of his inexperience, it had lasted a whopping three minutes. (According to Spencer’s impeccable memory and the fact that he had been glancing between the top of her head and a clock on the wall, worried they would get caught, he knew for a fact that it had been three minutes and fourteen seconds to be exact.) 
Which, at the time, was lucky. Because as she licked off her lips and looked up at him through her lashes, Morgan called out his name through the house, finally looking for them. He had rushed to straighten his clothes and look normal - but because Morgan caught them both looking incredibly guilty, he had hounded Reid for days about the ‘details’. Reid gave him none. 
But that had been his only experience with a woman sexually. His only experience with anybody, for that matter. So any of his knowledge about vaginas was based entirely on pictures; scientific diagrams, and renaissance art. He was never gutsy enough to buy porn for himself. 
He tried to imagine what a silicone vagina would look like - how one would fit molded into a plastic tube. He tried to imagine how it would feel to stick his penis into one. 
Of course, he had plenty of experience with masturbation. 
His instincts had taken over at the right age for that. Even though his brain was always advanced well beyond his years, puberty kicked in just the same. He had been a hormonal teenager just like everyone else. (Of course, he was the only one going to CalTech getting a PhD in chemistry, but he was right on track in terms of his physical development.) 
And naturally, his imagination often ran away with him whenever he had the time alone to masturbate now that he was an adult. 
One of the things he thought about most often when he masturbated was you. 
The fact that you were so self-assured, so confident, the fact that nothing could shake you. It always made Spencer imagine you pinning him down, taking control of him, kissing him hard. He had orgasmed in his hand a great many nights, imagining you on top of him - imagining what you might feel like around him, on top of him, riding him. 
He found it intensely difficult to pay attention to Gin Rummy when all of these thoughts were running through his mind. 
… 
You barely remembered the fleshlight conversation at all. Barely remembered it, that is, until you were on your way to work the next morning. 
There was a small fender bender between two cars on your normal route and the traffic build-up around it caused you to deviate. Because of that, you just happened to drive by your favorite sex shop. The sign caught your eye, and you figured: you were already late. There was a great coffee place across the street. You could grab yourself a latte if you parked. 
You were surprised that a sex shop would be open so early in the morning, but you were glad that you made the stop. Usually, you would have taken your time to browse. You liked to see what was new, especially in terms of costumes and lingerie. 
You didn’t have a long term partner to impress, but sometimes you did like to strut around the house in lingerie (in your fleeting free time away from the BAU) just to make yourself feel good. That, and it was always fun to see the look on a date’s face when you gave the sensual promise of ‘slipping into something more comfortable’ and then came back in a latex nurse’s outfit and six inch red heels. 
Unfortunately, today you were low on time and very set on what you wanted. 
You went straight to the wall of toys and zoned in on the selection of fleshlights. You picked out the most ‘basic’ one you could find. You didn’t want to assume Spencer’s preferences, but you picked one that resembled a pussy rather than an ass. 
It was on the expensive side, but you knew the look on Spencer’s face when you gave it to him would more than pay it off in your mind. That and imagining him using it, knowing that it would be far too tempting of a gift. He would never be brave enough to buy something like this for himself and once it was in his hands when he was alone, he would be far too curious not to use it - yeah, it was definitely worth it. 
You walked past a rack of lube on your way to the cash register and realized that it would be rude to give this kind of gift without a bottle of lube in accompaniment. So you bought a bottle of your favorite water based lubricant. An unscented one, knowing that Spencer was a no-frills kind of guy, even though you usually bought a strawberry scented one for yourself. 
You got the items put in a discreet, labelless black bag and then got yourself a latte. And you couldn’t help but to grab an almond croissant for Spencer because when you spotted it in the pantry case, you did think of him. 
Of course, when you walked into the office (the black bag safely in the backseat of your car) Hotch just happened to be walking by with a handful of files on the way to his office. 
“You’re late.” He commented, not looking up from the paper he was reading. 
“Traffic was hell.” You fired back. 
“Yeah, and I’m sure that latte just magically transported into your hand.” He said, his tone blank and unreadable as usual. “I want all your reports about the case on my desk by tonight.” 
Usually, there was a grace period of two or three days to get the reports about a case done. But clearly, Hotch didn’t like your tardiness. You considered it worth it. 
“Yes sir.” You mumbled under your breath. 
He didn’t say anything else after that, simply retreated off to his office. 
You figured he couldn’t be that mad. He knew the job could be an emotional strain, and it was okay to deviate from such a hard routine every now and then. Especially because now you were going to be spending the next five hours writing out all the gory details of how you had pulled a horseshoe out of a woman’s dead torso in order to catch a killer. 
You walked over to your desk, which was right in front of Reid’s, and placed down the paper bag with the croissant on top of one of his files. This easily distracted him from whatever he had been writing - most likely one of his reports about the case. 
“Almond croissant,” You said, placing down your coffee cup and placing your purse underneath your desk. “Your favorite, right?” 
“It is.” He grinned at you. “Thank you.” 
It was that sweet little smile, those big kind eyes staring up at you through the lenses of his glasses like you hung the stars in the sky - it was that bit of sweetness that got you through writing your reports. So yeah, it probably wasn’t just dark humor and nihilism that helped you keep your sanity. It had a lot to do with the pretty boy you got to sit across from every single day. 
You worked on your reports. And yeah, you took too many coffee breaks, including a long lunch break with Elle, Penelope, and JJ where they insisted on discussing your ‘crush’ on Spencer. 
You denied it. 
Elle profiled your lie (which you insisted was not a lie) and JJ laughed about it. Penelope started humming wedding music under her breath and you threatened to spit in her salad. 
By the time you actually got the reports done, it was late. Everyone else had gone home - except for Spencer, who was still sitting at his desk across from you with his lamp on and an air of quiet concentration. When you got finished with the last report, you slammed the file closed and let out a sigh, leaning back in your chair and running your hands harshly over your face. 
“Finally done?” Spencer’s delicate voice inquired, peeking up over the median between the desks to look at you. 
“Yes, finally.” You grinned back at him. “You done too?” 
You couldn’t help but to ask. Spencer was always incredibly quick with his reports, simply by the nature of the speed at which he could read and compose writing. You wondered what exactly he had been doing at his desk for the past few hours. Perhaps he had been looking through old case files, possibly unsolved ones, thinking up new leads while there was no pressure looming over his brilliant mind. 
“I finished up at three o’clock.” He said. 
You glanced at your watch - it was getting close to nine. That made you entirely curious about what he had been doing, sitting at his desk for that many hours. What had he felt the need to stay so late for? 
“So what has been keeping you busy this late into the night, Doctor?” You asked. 
“I was reading.” He told you honestly, motioning toward a thick novel that he had in his hands. 
“How many books do you have over there?” You chuckled. 
Again, you knew that because of the intense speed he was capable of reading at, it would take a lot of books to keep him busy. 
“Just one.” He answered, easily catching your eye and maintaining eye contact. 
Both of you knew what this meant. 
For a while, he had been rereading through old case files. But, not wanting to haunt himself with those gory details, he had chosen instead to simply sit at his desk and reread the same book over and over again because he had wanted to keep you company. 
What you didn’t know was that his mind had still been heavily plagued by thoughts of your sex toy discussion from the other day, so he wasn’t exactly reading at lightning speed as per usual. Instead - letting his imagination wander, thinking about where he would get a silicone vagina if he wanted to buy one and if a toy would feel as good as yours. What yours would feel like around his penis if he ever got the minuscule chance to actually experience it. 
“The Hollow Men by T. S. Eliot - but um, I was waiting for you, actually.” Spencer announced, making his intentions entirely clear, just in case you hadn’t already figured it out. “I was hoping maybe we could get dinner together? We haven’t - we haven’t hung out in a while.” 
He seemed nervous asking you this, even though you were always enthusiastic in welcoming his invitations to spend time together outside of work. 
Last month, he had brought you to a conservatory housing and actively breeding endangered species of butterflies in order to save the populations from extinction. It was a building full of plant life, an indoor jungle filled with the beautiful insects that took your breath away. Listening to him ramble on about the different species and their latin names, the patterns on their wings and their purpose of camouflage - it had been one of the most pleasant, most romantic non-dates of your life. 
You didn’t understand why others on the team acted like his presence, especially his ramblings, could be a bother. 
“Sounds good.” You told him with a smile. 
He smiled back at you fondly. 
“I have to drop these on Hotch’s desk and then we can go.” You explained as you stood up and began gathering your files. “But uh, I don’t really feel like going out? I’m way more in the mood for take-out and a comfy couch.” 
“There’s a good Chinese place a few minutes away from my apartment.” He told you. “If you consider my couch comfortable?” 
You resisted the urge to tell him that you loved his apartment because the smell of books penetrated every inch of it; the scent of yellowing, worn paper living there like the comfort of a library. But you held that back - choosing instead to say something else. 
“The comfiest,” You grinned at him as you walked by with the armful of files. 
… 
You weren’t entirely sure when you were going to give the ‘gifts’ to Spencer. 
A large part of you thought that it would be best to have an out, in case he got embarrassed, or hated it. Most likely, you would wait until after dinner and hand him the bag on your way out without telling him what it was. Which was why you shoved the black plastic bag holding the lube and the sex toy into your oversized purse while Spencer was distracted with carrying the takeout bag toward his apartment. 
One thing that had not surprised you about Spencer when you found it out: he didn’t have basic cable. Part of you was surprised that someone who was so pro-book and anti-technology even had a TV at all. But apparently he had some favorites that he couldn’t stand to miss out on, like Doctor Who and Star Wars. So he had a DVD player hooked up to a very small TV that was banished off to a corner of his living room. A device that was dwarfed by bookcases, which did make a lot of sense. 
He said that he spent so much time reading and away at work, traveling for cases that it just didn’t make sense to pay for cable. He said that he could get his mental enrichment from reading, and his nerdy pleasure from rewatching his old favorites, and apparently he got the news from listening to the radio. The radio. Sometimes you wondered if he was Benjamin Button - an old man who had somehow gotten into the body of a twenty five year old. It truly mystified you. 
Either way, it meant that you spent dinner with season three of Friends on as background noise. Friends being a box set of DVDs that you had gifted him because you considered it to be classic television that he needed to see. The first time he had asked Morgan to his face if a girl had ‘friendzoned’ him with full confidence in what the term meant, you knew that Spencer had been watching it in his free time. 
You easily fell into the comfort of your surroundings, enjoying the comforting canned laughter of the show, paired with the delightfully greasy food and Spencer’s ongoing commentary - both about the show, and about other, completely unrelated things. You were so relaxed that you had almost completely forgotten about the gift you had waiting in your bag for him. 
It was such a strange coincidence that he had been the one to bring it up. 
He offered to take your plate into the kitchen, leaving behind a waft of soy sauce as he went. You were wonderfully full and reached to the small side table where you were nursing a half empty (now warm) diet coke. You took a few sips from it, and heard Spencer’s footsteps shuffling back into the room. He hovered behind you as you watched Monica rush out of her bedroom with her phone pressed to her chest, concerned about calling Richard. 
You were so focused on the show that you almost didn’t hear Spencer’s shy, tentative voice when he spoke. 
“I’m sorry about the other day.” He said quietly. 
“Hmm?” You looked over your shoulder at him, wondering what he meant. 
He was rather nervously fidgeting with his hands, standing in the white glow of the TV in the dimly lit room - the only other source of light being a small lamp on the side table and dimness of the light above the stove shining in from the kitchen at his back. 
You grabbed up the remote and paused the show, silencing the characters and their temporary problems in order to address the stress that Spencer was very clearly feeling - his whole body tight, hunched over, his face quite tight with worry. 
“I’m sorry about the other day.” He repeated himself, slightly louder this time - perhaps not more confident, but simply not drowned out by any further noise. 
You didn’t want to butt in, and gave him the room to explain himself slowly. 
“I - I didn’t mean to put you in such an… uncomfortable position. If I don’t understand the things you say, I should just pull you aside and ask you privately what you meant.” He sighed. “I - I know that I need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes. It’s something I’m working on.” 
You became flooded with peril at this. Had he really thought that he had inconvenienced you? Put you in an ‘uncomfortable’ position? 
“Come sit down.” You told him, beginning to feel annoyed with craning your neck back to get a proper look at him. 
Like a dog being beckoned, he couldn’t help but to follow your order. 
He sunk down against the other arm of the three seater couch, leaving quite a bit of space between the two of you. He had his arms folded - closed off, clearly nervous. His eyes were focused on the leg of his pants, distinctly refusing to look at you. Perhaps he was afraid he would find disgust or disappointment among your features. You turned off the TV completely then and angled your body to face him before you continued speaking. 
“First of all, you don’t need to learn to keep your mouth shut.” You told him easily. “I’m not sure who, or what gave you that impression, but it’s not true. Whenever you open your mouth, something brilliant comes out, and we’re all better for it.” 
Reid’s lips flexed into a smile at the intense direct praise, and this made you happy. 
“Second, you didn’t make me uncomfortable the other day.” You told him honestly. “I meant what I said - despite you being a genius, there are still some things you need to learn. And I’m more than happy to teach you.” 
These words sent a shiver down Spencer’s spine. 
There were so many things that he would beg for you to teach him if given the chance. But he didn’t want to embarrass himself. And most importantly, he didn’t want to come off as creepy or desperate toward someone as perfect as you. 
When he dared to glance up at you, you were boldly staring him down. You wore a small smirk across your face. Heat began to stir in Spencer’s gut, and he couldn’t help but to wonder if you were thinking the exact same things that he was. 
You couldn’t be. You couldn’t possibly want someone like him. You couldn’t possibly want a nervous, inexperienced ‘virgin’ like him. 
Oh, but you did. 
You were thinking all of the same things that he was. You were imagining giving him the most intricate ‘hands on’ lessons for everything he had ever been curious about. Giving him the most close-up, detailed tour of the female anatomy he ever could have asked for. 
“Spencer,” You called out his name gently. 
This forced his attention up from fiddling with a loose thread on the edge of the couch cushion - clearly something out of nervousness - and got him to look at your face. You wondered how someone who was six feet tall could look so delicately small, purposefully slumped over in his seat like that. You wondered what his pretty features would look like warped by an orgasm. 
“What are you thinking about right now?” You asked him. You had to know if he was truly on the same filthy wavelength as you. 
He knew he had to make up a lie. Because he wouldn’t be brave enough to speak the words out loud. He was too shy to actually tell you that he was wondering what it would be like to bury his face between your breasts, that he wanted to drown there. 
“You… you did get me curious.” Spencer admitted quietly. “About the… the - uh-” 
He trailed off, clearly too nervous to say the word for himself now that he knew the filthy implications behind it. 
“About the fleshlight?” You finished the sentence for him, wanting to encourage him. 
You wanted to make him feel brave about the topic. You were too curious about where this interaction was heading - you couldn’t bear to have him get shy on you now. 
“Yeah.” He nodded, nervously clearing his throat. 
He went back to fidgeting with the edge of the couch cushion, once again purposefully looking anywhere but at your face. You stared him down with purpose, all too intrigued by whatever might come out of his mouth next. Especially with the tense, thoughtful expression dipped along his eyebrows - the same one he got when he was reading or staring at maps. 
“I was thinking - I was curious - curious about - about where someone might get one of those.” He finally announced. 
He put intense stress on the word ‘where’ - his voice low, almost a lulling whisper in the already quiet apartment. He was speaking as though he was asking you about something incredibly illicit. Like a college kid asking where he could buy weed or a lonely man in his thirties inquiring about a prostitute. Though sex toys were perfectly legal, you guessed that for someone like Spencer, this was just as trepidacious. 
You felt a sense of eager giddiness stir within you. You resisted the urge to bounce on the spot like an excitable, hyper kid on their birthday waiting to open their present. Even though he wasn’t looking at your face, you forced yourself to hold back a grin. 
You didn’t want to ruin the surprise, after all. It was just too perfect. 
“Well… lucky for you, Doctor Reid,” You told him, easily capturing his attention with the use of his proper title and the fact that you shifted slightly in your seat, reaching down by your feet to grab your bag. “I happen to have a spare one right here.” 
Spencer watched you cautiously, his neck still sloped with anxious shyness. He almost had to believe that this was a prank, and you would pull a tape recorder out of your bag and laugh because you had captured his perversion for everyone to know about. 
But of course - you weren’t that cruel. You were honest, and you were definitely not half as shy as he was. In fact, he would go so far as to say that you didn’t have a bashful bone in your body. 
So of course, it made sense that it was not a big deal for you to walk into one of those stores and simply purchase that kind of toy. 
Spencer watched eagerly as you pulled out a cardboard box. He heard the rustle of plastic inside your bag and guessed that it was a shopping bag. But he couldn’t be too focused on that once your arm extended out to him, showing him what the rectangular box was. 
Spencer had never seen a sex toy in person before, but he quickly realized that they were packaged similarly to any other product. A clean, white background with a picture of the product on it, several claims and promises (‘new and improved design!’) (‘easy to clean!’) (‘soft and durable!’) - and a picture of someone smiling on the front, unconsciously promising a good user experience. In this case, it was a stereotypically beautiful woman in lingerie holding the… item, as though it were comparable… to her… to her parts. 
“Open it.” You encouraged him, wagging the box in his direction. “Unless you don’t want it. I could return it.” 
It was then that Spencer realized he had been sitting with his hands numbly in his lap for several silent moments, staring at the box in your extended hand. 
“Oh!” He said quietly. “No! I mean - yes. I - um.” Rather than trying to articulate it, he reached out and grabbed the item, finding it surprisingly heavy. It easily compared to the weight of a good book in his hands. “Thank you.” 
You would be lying if you said that watching him inspect the sex toy as though it were an object from an alien planet wasn’t the hottest thing you had seen in your entire life. Doctor Reid approached this the same way that he approached everything else in life: with intense scrutiny. Clearly his analytical mind was working hard as he carefully peeled back the cardboard flap of the box and slid out his prize. 
You had to wonder if that mind of his ever shut off. 
You wondered if you could make him dumb and cum drunk, make his head completely empty. You wondered what he would look like mindlessly chasing an orgasm, begging for release with absolutely no statistics or scientific papers running around inside that big brain of his. You wanted to see him completely worn down, just his base instincts at play. You wanted to see him with just the need to fuck and cum and have his release pounding between his ears as he whined desperately for more. 
There was a sharp pain between your legs, intense arousal at the thought of it. 
That arousal only increased when Spencer dropped the box in his lap and then - like man walking on the moon for the first time - he held the toy delicately in one hand and popped the cap off with the other. Clearly, it was a big discovery for him. Watching his eyes widen with shock did bring you an intense joy. It also immediately made you wonder if seeing the silicone pussy was his first time seeing a pussy so up close and personal at all. That thought only made your own cunt throb with need. 
What he did next nearly sent you into orbit. 
He gently placed the cap down on his lap, and without looking at you, his thoughtful eyes still entirely focused on the fake pussy - he reached toward it and oh-so-gently stroked his fingers across it. From your perspective, with the angle he was holding it at, you had a perfect view of his gorgeous hand delicately exploring the toy. Your cunt fluttered, clenching around nothing, and you knew that at this point you were definitely sitting in soaked underwear. If you didn’t know Spencer any better, you would have guessed that he was doing this on purpose, to tease you. 
But that’s what made it so perfect - he was just naive, just exploring these things for the first time. 
When he dipped two of his fingertips into the opening of the toy, you had to consciously hold back a moan. It was almost too hot watching his strong, thick fingers get swallowed up by the soft entrance of the toy. Of course, imagining how those fingers would feel dipping into your pussy with such tender grace. 
“Wow.” Spencer said quietly, almost a gasp under his breath as he pulled his fingers back, in pure awe at this new discovery. “I didn’t expect it to be so soft.”
“It’ll feel even better when it’s wet.” 
The words came so naturally from your lips, you couldn’t have stopped them if you tried. 
Spencer looked up at you with a distinct pinkness spreading over his cheeks, clearly imagining that tight, soft wetness wrapped around his cock. 
You dared to take a glance downward and surely enough - beside where the empty box was sitting in his lap, a bulge was forming in his slacks, pressing harshly against the zipper. You deeply resisted the urge to reach over and grope that bulge, not wanting to scare him by coming on too strong. Instead, you put that grabby hand back into your purse to get the other thing you had to give to him. 
“Another lesson for the genius,” You announced, extending out the bottle of lube for him to see it. This time he was quicker to grab it, bringing it up to his face to inspect it with thoughtful eyes. “Water based lubricant is best. It’s water soluble, so it’s easy to clean up. And unlike other kinds, it won’t wear down the silicone of the toy over time or wear through the latex of condoms.” 
You bringing up condoms caused a jolt in Spencer’s chest. Were you just giving him some friendly advice about safe sex or - or did you actually intend to have intercourse with him? Would there be a need for condoms between the two of you in the future? 
The words gave him a temporary bold streak (that and the sexual adrenaline pumping through his system) and he decided to voice his thoughts before he became too shy. 
“Can I ask you something?” He asked quietly, his voice taking on that sweet, mousy quality that it usually did whenever he got nervous. 
“Of course.” You nodded. 
You thought that he might have more questions about the lube or the toy. But what he said next - combined with the fact that he looked at you shyly through his lashes like a doll, like he knew exactly what he was doing - absolutely knocked the wind out of you. 
“You… You said that you like teaching me things. So - do you think-?” 
He paused for a moment, clearing his throat. 
“Could - could you give me a demonstration?” He asked, his voice still shy and sweet. 
Your lips gaped in shock - at first you thought you had misheard him. And when the words fully penetrated your ears, you thought that you had somehow misunderstood him. He couldn’t possibly mean-? He wanted you to use the toy on him? 
You were shocked that Spencer Reid was openly asking for something like that. 
Seeing the shock and slight confusion across your features, Spencer’s mouth raced past his better judgment. His lips plowed over that thing in the back of his brain nagging at him to shut up - and he kept on going. 
“It only seems logical that, when tackling something new, especially something this… skill-based, I would need to be shown what to do.” He explained, his mouth running off in that way it always did when he sounded far too much like he knew what he was talking about. “It seems advisable to be shown by someone with more experience. Experience that I don’t have. I need you to show me. Please.” 
The last word came out as a breathy plea from him. You could have easily gotten stuck on the fact that he had basically just admitted to you that he was a virgin. But instead, him simply saying that word: ‘please’, begging to you like your attention was the most precious thing in the world; it kickstarted something in your brain and switched on the dominant persona that you had always wanted to use with him. 
The air shifted in the room then, and you both knew it. It was like a fire crackling around you. Spencer didn’t know what to do with it, but luckily, you did. He waited with anxious breath for your guidance, your instruction. 
“You need me to show you?” You repeated his words, using the buttery sweet voice that you usually did when you had someone so willing and pliant for you. 
Instinctively, you reached over to him and gently cupped his cheek. He easily leaned into the touch, shuddering with delight and letting out a small sigh as you made contact with his skin for the first time. It was the first time you had really touched him, aside from casual hugs of comfort after stressful situations that the job naturally gave the two of you. But this was entirely different. 
He hummed in affirmation to answer your question, his eyes growing large with lust, pupils blown out as he melted into you. 
“What do you want me to show you, pretty boy?” You asked, running your thumb along his bottom lip, admiring how absolutely pink his mouth was. 
You hoped that you could prompt a genuine answer out of him - get him to say the words. You had never heard Spencer talk about anything crude before, and you wondered if he was even capable of talking dirty. You hoped that if he wouldn’t say the words on his own, you could coach him into doing it. You could only imagine the satisfaction of getting that smart mouth to utter such filthy things. 
“I want…” Spencer swallowed harshly, clearly having a difficult time with his mouth drying out now that you had a hand on him, even though the touch was fairly ‘innocent’. “I want you to show me… everything.”
The intense emphasis that he put on the word sent sparks flying inside of you. 
It sounded like he wanted a lot more than just a ‘demonstration’ of the toy. It sounded like he wanted a lot more than just a one night stand to get off. 
Intense want flared up of you. 
The temptation to own him, to make him yours… the temptation to take all of his first and have him tied to you like a lost puppy because of it - it was an intense one. But you wouldn’t hurt him, no. You would do it right. You would own him in that way because he wanted it just as badly as you did. 
“Spencer,” 
You said his name suddenly, harconing for his attention with it. You stroked your thumb along his cheek before you pulled the touch away completely. His head bobbed forward slightly to chase your hand, but he let you go without protest. 
“If we’re going to do this, there has to be rules.” You told him firmly. “If I’m going to be your teacher, you have to listen to me. Teachers need rules, right?” 
Spencer nodded vigorously at this. 
“Of course. Yeah - yeah. You’re right.” He eagerly agreed. Then of course, he asked the obvious question. “What are the rules?” 
You beamed a smile at him, loving his enthusiasm. 
You knew that he would be a good boy. He was so eager to follow rules, to learn. Your body began tingling with delight at the thought of him looking up at you with hazy eyes, asking for his next command. 
You had to forcibly clear your head. Right now you had to be level headed in order to teach him the rules. 
“Okay the first rule - the most important one,” You prefaced, causing Spencer to straighten up slightly, showing his attentiveness, an eager student ready to learn. “Is that you need to pick a safeword. A word you can say during the scene so that I can know if you’re uncomfortable or if you need to stop.” 
“‘The scene’?” Spencer asked, repeating back the phrase to you. “Also - why can’t the safeword just be ‘stop’, or ‘no’? Wouldn’t you just stop things if I said ‘no’?” 
You decided to tackle his questions one at a time. 
“Calling it a ‘scene’ - it’s lingo.” You said. “You know that everything comes with its own set of linguistics.” You told him, playing into his pre-existing knowledge. He nodded at this. 
You then continued your explanation. 
“A ‘scene’ means… any type of sexual play. Some people call it ‘playtime’. It’s lingo that exists because for a lot of people, sex is much more than just intercourse. It can start with speech and behavior and any interactions that they have with their partner when they’re alone. Like foreplay. So a safeword needs to be included in those moments too, in case someone needs to call timeout.” 
Spencer nodded at this. It made him wish that he had developed a safeword with Lila Archer. Not because he hadn’t enjoyed the oral sex - but because to this day, he still shuddered at the possibility of being embarrassed by someone walking in on them, or the consequences if someone found out about the improprieties of it all. 
“As far as the safeword being ‘no’, or ‘stop’...” You took the time to find the right words to explain it. 
Spencer waited patiently, feeling curious about this. 
“I will always look out for your safety, and if you seem uncomfortable, I’ll ask you if you’re okay.” You assured him, giving him a gentle pat on the knee. Spencer smiled at this, and you enjoyed that you had comforted him with these words. 
“But sometimes ‘no’ doesn’t work.” You went on to explain. “Like… if I asked you something like ‘do you want me to stop?’ and you say ‘no’, that is a positive affirmation to continue what I’m doing, but it uses a negative word. Same thing with the word ‘stop’. If you told me ‘don’t stop’ - but your voice was too quiet on the first word or I didn’t properly hear you, then I may stop when you wouldn’t want me to.” 
For the first time, Spencer felt as though he was the one being schooled. 
You telling him ‘I may stop when you don’t want me to’ had him drawing an image up in his head of you vigorously riding him, taunting him while you were so well composed and he was reduced to a stuttering mess because of your wetness clenching around him. With you mistaking his words for a signal of distress, and taking away your beautiful body before he got to orgasm. It would be tragic. 
He easily understood what you meant. 
“The point of a safeword,” You continued on. “Is that it stands out. It’s a word you would never otherwise say during playtime. A word that would never come up during sex - except for you signaling your discomfort. So when I hear that word, I know that we need to shift gears into aftercare.” 
“What’s aftercare?” Spencer asked, eager to learn another new term as it was introduced to him. 
Again, you were puzzled about how to explain it, how to put it into words for someone who had no clue what the word meant. 
These were things you had known about for years, words that were a natural part of your vocabulary now. Things you had been doing before you even knew the terms for it. It was strange having to explain it to someone so fresh. 
“It - um…” You thought for a moment. “Aftercare is what happens after a scene. It’s the period of time when you mentally and physically wind down, in order to take care of your body and mind. Because of the physical exertion and the endorphins, sex can be exhausting and mentally tedious, as much as it is fun. So - aftercare helps transition the body and mind back into non-sexual activities. Different people need different kinds of aftercare, but usually it’s things like: drinking water, eating a snack, cuddling, words of affirmation.” 
“That sounds nice.” Spencer said quietly. “Would you do that for me even - even though I’m not your boyfriend?” 
You held back what you instinctively wanted to say - that you wanted him to be your boyfriend. That you wanted to own him like a cute little pet and didn’t want any other woman (or man) to touch him. 
Instead, you went with the diplomatic answer. 
“Of course I would.” You told him. “Aftercare is part of being a good - a good teacher.” 
You quickly cut yourself off from using the word ‘dominant’ and replaced it with ‘teacher’ instead. You didn’t want to scare him with the idea that you would be intimidating, mean, cold - traditional ideas behind the term ‘dominant’. 
“I want to be good to you, Spence.” You quickly added on. 
His cock throbbed inside of his pants at this. 
“So, you have to pick your safeword.” You told him. “Something that stands out, something that will easily come to your mind.” 
Spencer took a moment, and you saw him take a sideways glance at the coffee table. The chess set that was there caught his eye, and that didn’t surprise you. 
“Bishop?” Spencer posed, looking at you with eyes that said he was absolutely searching for your approval. “Is that good?” 
“Yes, baby, that’s perfect.” You told him. 
If you did your job well enough as a dominant, then he wouldn’t need to use the word. 
You would be able to tell just by his body language and him voicing his enjoyment how far you should take things. And when he was comfortable enough, you would discuss other sexual acts, and what else you should try. Though, for tonight, you had a feeling you should take control without telling him too much of what you wanted to do. You didn’t need him getting shy on you just because of some dirty talk. 
“You said that was only the first rule,” Spencer mentioned, remembering what you had said. “What are the other rules?” 
“Well, the second rule is: you listen to me. You listen to everything I say. You do everything I say. You don’t question me.” You told him firmly. “Because I’m the teacher, I’m in charge.” 
Spencer wanted to question you then. He wanted to point out that this sounded like multiple rules, but the way you said ‘I’m in charge’ caused something inside of him to quake, and he easily fell under your authority. 
He nodded. 
“The next rule is: you speak when spoken to, Spencer.” You told him, your tongue sharp on the words. 
You were heavily enjoying ordering him around now. 
These were two roles that the two of you fell so naturally into: he was soft and submissive under your dominant energy, and he only wanted more as your ego thrived off his eager submission. It was the start of a beautiful relationship forming. 
“Yes.” He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” The title came flying out of his mouth before he could stop it, and then he instantly wanted to backpedal. “I’m sorry.” 
“No, I like that.” You told him with a grin. “Though, if you want to give me a title, call me Miss.” 
You held back from telling him the true title you desired. Again, not wanting to scare him away. Perhaps it was something you could ween him towards on another day. 
“Yes, Miss.” He corrected, nodding. “Uh - Miss? Is - is there anything else?” 
“Only two more things.” You told him. Of course, you didn’t want to overload him, but you wanted him to know your most important rules up front. He looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to explain. “You can’t touch me without asking first. And of course, you can’t touch me unless I give you permission.” 
This news cast the saddest puppy look across his features. Clearly, he was deeply disappointed by the thought that he wouldn’t be able to grope and grab at your body freely. He was upset by the thought that you would deny him access to touching you. You could definitely use that if he ever misbehaved. 
“And the last thing is: you can’t cum without my permission.” You told him, almost as if it were an afterthought. With any of your other partners, it would have been. Because it would have been a basic ground rule. 
“Come where?” Spencer asked, his brows knit together in the most adorably confused manner you had seen yet. 
Of course, he was confused. He had never before heard someone use the term ‘cum’ to refer to an orgasm. He was used to hearing that word - ‘come’ - paired with something else like ‘come here’. So he wondered what the hell you possibly meant by it. 
You found yourself grinning like the cat who ate the canary as you realized that you would also have to explain this piece of slang to him. 
“No, Spence, not C-O-M-E, like the verb. It’s C-U-M. It’s slang used interchangeably with the word ‘orgasm’.” You explained to him. “Sometimes it can be a verb. Like the act of cumming, it means orgasming. Or sometimes it’s a noun. Sometimes people use the word ‘cum’ instead of saying semen. ‘Cum’ is the fluid. As in: ‘I want your cum inside of me’.” 
You intentionally teased him with this example, saying it as casually as a straight forward grammar lesson, looking him in the eyes the entire time. His eyes lit up at your words - obviously, he had no clue that such a simple sentence could turn him on so much. But the words immediately painted a picture in his mind of that white, sticky fluid dripping down your inner thighs, put there by him. It was so perfect that it almost made him dizzy. 
When Spencer didn’t say anything, you continued with your ‘lesson’. 
“When I said that you can’t cum without my permission, I meant that you can’t have an orgasm unless I say so.” You told him with finality.  
He looked struck with worry at this. Partially at the idea that he wouldn’t get to have an orgasm if you didn’t give him permission, and partially at the thought that if he accidentally orgasmed without your permission, you would be angry with him and cut off all further sexual contact. 
“What’s wrong, Spence?” You had to ask. 
“How - how does that work?” He asked, all too curious at how he could stop himself from orgasming or how he could get your permission first. 
“Well, you know what it feels like when you’re about to have an orgasm, right?” You asked, really hoping that he at least masturbated regularly. You didn’t think you could have the burden of giving him his first ever orgasm. He nodded and this and you felt a small breath of relief leave you. “So, when you feel like that, you simply ask me if you’re allowed to cum. Ask me if you can cum.” 
“Will you let me?” Spencer asked nervously, sheepishly. You distinctly noticed how he avoided the word. He didn’t say the sentence as you had. You yearned to hear him say ‘will you let me cum?’ - but you knew you had to give him time to shake off his shyness. 
“If you’ve been a good boy, then yes.” You told him. “Good boys follow the rules. But I don’t think you’ll have any problems, Spence.” 
You saw him relax at this - any tension leaving his muscles. 
You conveniently left out the part where you might edge him, might not let him cum just for your own amusement. 
“I think that’s all for now.” You told him. “Now that we have the rules set - do you wanna play with your new toy?” 
Spencer’s face absolutely lit up at this. 
“Yes, please.” He said, his voice somehow still shy and quiet. “Yes, please, Miss.” 
Your stomach jolted with intense pleasure at his declaration. 
Spencer thought that you would simply grab the toy from him and unzip his pants. He was surprised when you stood up, and began looking around the room as though you were looking for something. But in alignment with the rules, he didn’t question you. He didn’t ask what you were looking for or why. Instead, he just sat there quietly and waited for your instructions. 
When you seemed satisfied with your idea, you then began moving around. You leaned down and pushed away the coffee table, pushing it as far back as it would go. This made a fair amount of space in front of the couch. And before Spencer could become truly curious about it, you turned to the side of the room - toward a space where he had a small table. 
It was meant to be a sort of ‘dining’ table, suitable for one or two people in an apartment like his. It had two chairs, but one of the chairs was piled up with books and the surface of the table had some files on it that he had taken home from work. He did sit on the other chair to eat occasionally - during the rare times he actually sat down and had a meal at home. 
You grabbed the empty chair - which was a wooden chair with a round back and decorative wooden bars coming off the seat, holding the back of it up. (Something Spencer had picked up at a yard sale.) And then you put the chair in the middle of the room, right in the space you had cleared from moving the coffee table. The chair was facing the couch - and it became apparent to Spencer then that this was a stage. 
You were either going to sit in that chair and watch him, or he was going to be the thing on display in the middle of the room. The idea of that happening - the idea of you watching him like a show, like he was something to admire - that put a twist in his stomach. It was something almost too daunting for him to conquer. He found himself swelling with shyness again, wanting to back down from this. 
He feared that he wouldn’t be able to impress you. He feared that he was gangly, thin, undesirable. He feared that his experience would steer him wrong somewhere and he would mess up terribly and turn you off. 
He thought that he wouldn’t be able to impress you. 
But he wanted to impress you so badly. He wanted you. He wanted your touch. He wanted to be a good boy for you, like you had said. 
“Give me your belt.” You said, turning to him expectantly and holding out your hand. 
“My - my belt?” He asked. 
Then, he immediately scolded himself inside as he realized that was questioning you, and against the rules. 
You let that one slide. He was still getting used to this, and it must have been an odd, confusing instruction to hear right off the bat. 
“Yes, your belt. I need it.” You said, still holding out your hand. “Come on.” 
Spencer stood up then, his hands and legs shaking slightly from nerves and the overwhelming lust. Although he was taller than you, he felt so entirely small as you stared at him, waiting patiently while his shaking hands struggled to undo the buckle and then slip the leather out of the belt loops.
When he finally handed it over to you, you took the belt in hand and inspected it for a moment before you quietly said ‘perfect’ under your breath. You then looked between Spencer and the chair - he was still wearing his work attire. A cardigan, a button up shirt and tie, his usual slacks, and his adorable dorky glasses. He had taken off his shoes at the door, revealing his oddly sweet mismatched socks. 
“Spencer,” 
You called his name, capturing his attention from where he was swaying on the spot, nervously fidgeting with the buttons on his cardigan to avoid looking at you. As soon as he looked up at you with those big, wet eyes, you felt confident in giving him your next instruction. 
“I want you to take off all your clothes. Except for your glasses and your socks.” You told him, giving him his first proper orders. 
He held his voice in his throat when he felt the need to question you about it, to ask you why. 
You wanted him to keep the glasses on because they brought an entirely dorky charm to him - you wanted to see if they would fog up when he became heated with lust. The socks? You thought they were cute, but it was mostly a test to see how closely he would follow the instructions. To test how well he would listen. 
He did as he was told. He stripped off his sweater, and then his tie, and then his watch, leaving his wrists nice and bare for you. His fingers began to shake slightly as he descended on the buttons of his shirt - clearly, he was feeling nervous once again, so you decided to give him some encouragement. 
“You’re being such a good boy, Spence.” You told him. “So good for me.” 
He let out a quiet breath at the praise - a precursor to a moan. It was something that compelled him to strip faster, and gave him a small boost of courage when reaching for the zipper of his pants. After he unzipped them - his erection clearly fighting to be freed of the fabric - your mouth began watering at the sight as he reached for the waistband of his pants and his underwear all at once and slid them down. 
A snake of surprising length popped out of his pants. His dick began bobbing around carelessly, smearing shiny precum all over his skin as he unhooked himself from the legs of his pants and put them aside. 
You had to marvel at it. 
You had never really thought about what Spencer might look like naked before. You had never allowed your mind to venture there. But now that you were seeing his cock: nine inches long, skinny and lean like he was, pale with a bright pink tip, sprouting from a thick thatch of dark pubic hair - it just made sense. He was tall and gangly, and so was his cock. It would be an impressive sword to impale yourself upon - but that would be for another day. 
Spencer caught you staring, of course. 
He had the urge to cover himself with his hands, and found himself clenching his fists by his sides because he figured that you wouldn’t like him trying to hide from you. 
He wondered if it looked weird. He wondered if you didn’t like it. He wondered-
“You’re beautiful, Spencer.” You said, your voice so drenched in utter sincerity that you almost broke into a gasp trying to get the words out. “So fucking beautiful.” 
Again, he wanted to question you - but didn’t. He wanted to be a good boy. He would follow the rules. 
“Th-thank you, Miss.” He muttered out quietly, almost unable to accept the compliment. 
“Come here, sit down.” You told him, motioning toward the chair. 
He nodded, his legs feeling rather numb as he moved to follow your instructions. When his ass made contact with the wooden surface of the chair, he let out a gasp at how cool it was compared to his heated skin. You quietly giggled at this, and then grabbed the belt from where you had put it down. He grew tense and curious once again when you walked behind him. 
You grabbed one of his wrists and began to guide it behind him, but he was so tense that you knew it would be uncomfortable for him. You eased your touch with a flat palm up his forearm and bicep, across his shoulder until you could press the weight of your thumb into the base of his neck. He moaned lightly at this, melting into the touch. 
“Relax, baby.” You urged. Spencer relaxed even further at the nickname, absolutely blooming with affection inside because of it. “I’m not gonna do anything to hurt you. I just want to make you feel good.” 
To drive home this point, you leaned in and planted a simple kiss on the back of his head, and then one on the side of his neck. Spencer let out a fluttering moan at this. He wanted more of those kisses, but he couldn’t work up the nerve to ask for it. 
He could find no faults with what you had said, so he did his best to do as you instructed. He relaxed, leaning back fully against the chair - which was slightly uncomfortable while he was completely naked and throbbing hard, waiting for you to touch him more. But he trusted you. 
You grabbed one of his wrists, and then the other, and guided them behind his back. 
It was much easier now that his muscles were softer, more pliant to you. 
You knelt down and used the belt to tie them simply. You looped the belt through the wooden slats so his hands would be held to the chair, and then placed both of his wrists into the loop. You didn’t want it to be so tight that the material would cut into his wrists painfully or cut off circulation, you just wanted to restrict his movement. 
Which would absolutely be the case when his arms were bound behind him, awkwardly tied to the back of the chair. You hooked the buckle into the smallest notch, giving him a bit of room to move, a bit of a gap to put your finger between the belt and his skin. However, it put his shoulders at an awkward angle so he would need your help getting out of it. 
“Is that okay?” You asked. “Not too tight? Be honest.” 
Spencer thought that he should feel slightly afraid or too vulnerable - being completely naked and tied to a chair like this. But with you, he felt safe. 
“It’s good.” He told you honestly. “Not too tight.” He assured you, moving to show off that wiggle room, demonstrating that the material wasn’t cutting into his wrists. 
“Good,” You sighed quietly, standing up once again. 
You walked around him like a predator circling their prey, making graceful, careful moments as you took in the sight of him. 
He was absolutely, beautifully sinful in this state. 
Stripped entirely naked, except for those glasses and those adorable, mismatched socks, sitting in the chair with his hands bound behind his back. All while he stared at you with his wide, expectant eyes, waiting for whatever your next move would be. While his heavy, hard cock leaked freely against his stomach, smearing a trail of sticky precum across his skin. 
You reached forward and grabbed his chin, tilting his head up slightly to look at you. Having someone as tall as Spencer look up at you for a change was entirely powerful. You held him there while you asked him a very important question. 
“You gonna be good for me?” You asked him. 
Instinctively for him, there was only one answer. 
“Yes.” He whimpered out. “Yes, Miss. I want to be good for you.” 
The pure sincerity of his declaration caused another wave of wetness from your aching pussy. For now, you would ignore your own needs. You would take care of him, make sure that this was a pleasurable experience for him. 
“Good boy,” You praised him, giving him a light kiss on the forehead - to which he sighed quietly in delight. 
Then, you let go of his face completely and turned to grab the item that had started this whole thing. 
You were excited to finally use it on Spencer. 
Spencer watched with awe and intrigue as you grabbed the toy and then the lube - you peeled off the plastic shrink wrap on the lube bottle with your teeth, and then popped the cap. And you turned so Spencer could see as you poured a generous amount of lube into the opening of the toy. 
“Don’t be afraid to use too much lube,” You told him, being a proper teacher. “In my opinion, there’s no such thing as ‘too wet’. But ‘too dry’ can cause skin irritation from friction. Or tearing if you’re trying to insert something like fingers or a penetrative toy. Like a dildo. Adequate lubrication always reduces the risk of both those things,” 
Spencer wanted to ask if there were other kinds of penetrative toys aside from dildos, but he figured that would be a question for another time. 
“Yes, Miss.” He nodded in understanding, absorbing what you had told him. 
You looked between the toy and his cock, and realized you might as well slick him up beforehand. 
You took a step closer to him and put the thickness of the fleshlight between his thighs, propping it there while you quietly mumbled ‘hold this’ - which caused him to tense his thighs in order to keep it from falling. He became enraptured by the sight of the silicone pussy, lubed and wet as a real one would be. He was so distracted by the sight that he almost didn’t take in you pouring lube into your hand before you capped the bottle and put it aside. 
“This is probably gonna be cold,” You warned him quietly before you used your lubed hand to take a hold of his cock. 
It was. And he let out a harsh gasp - from the shock of the cold wetness, a sound that quickly turned into a strangled moan as you formed a loose grip around his cock and began spreading the wetness over him with purpose. The lube soon warmed between your palm and the throbbing skin of his cock, and he unconsciously bucked into your touch, almost knocking the fleshlight out from resting between his thighs. 
“Stay still.” You ordered sharply, shoving his hips back down with your free hand. 
The harshness behind your voice, and your thumb pressing into his hip bone sent him reeling. He was so pliant under your touch. Between your commanding authority and the slickness of your lubed hand moving in a slow rhythm in lazy pumps up and down his cock - he was already way too fucking close. 
You knew it. You could see the way his stomach muscles quaked, the tensing of his thighs. Those little lilting gasps like music to your ears. 
You wondered if he would spurt cum all over your hand before he warned you. (If he did, you would likely pump him through it just to see if he would get hard again.) 
“Miss-!” He hollered, choking on the word. 
You abruptly stopped then. You stiffened your grip around the base of his cock - which was now nicely lubed up, and throbbing even harder as you effectively used your fingers around his pelvis like a cockring, causing his orgasm to fade dully back into his muscles. He let out a wounded sound, a confused moan from deep in his chest, his stomach shaking even harder as if he was trying to force the orgasm out past your gatekeeping touch. It was almost cute. 
“Yes, Spencer?” You asked, looking at him dumbly as though you had no clue what he had been trying to say. 
“I - I was getting close.” He completed the thought breathlessly. “C-close to orgasm.” 
Damn. If he was this fucked out now, you couldn’t wait to see what he would be like when you were done with him. 
“Well, good boys only cum with permission, right?” You said, grinning at him fiendishly. 
“Yes, Miss.” He said quickly, his voice dull with disappointment, but agreeable. 
“Good boy.” You praised once again. You felt his cock twitch in your hand at the words. “Besides, you haven’t even gotten a chance to try out your new toy yet.” 
You then grabbed up the toy and turned it over, using your hand on the base of his cock to feed his length into the fake pussy. More cool lube came rushing down to meet him, and his lungs shook once again and his heated skin was shocked by the feeling. It was strange, but pleasurable as his cock was enveloped by the soft, wet walls of the toy. It was so, so very tight around his cock - and oddly cool, far wetter than he had expected thanks to the amount of lube you had used. 
Spencer reasoned that it might be like sticking his cock in a watermelon, if that watermelon were also made of rubber bands. 
You knelt down in front of Spencer, looking in awe between the spot where his cock disappeared into the fake leaking pussy to his face. Seeing his reaction to this was utterly beautiful - the way his jaw naturally fell open, his eyes half closed as the pleasure overtook him. 
“Oh!” Spencer let out a sudden, high startled sound as you shoved the toy down onto his cock fully. 
Your eyes once again flickered between his dick and his face, and you came to an utterly stunning realization. 
He didn’t fully fit inside of the toy. 
There was about an inch of his cock that was still sticking out of it at the base, and with the resistance your hand had brought up into, you knew that he was fully seated inside of it. Well - as fully seated as he could get, apparently. 
It was one of the hottest things you had ever seen, and it sent a dizzying wave of endorphins through you. The sight of his cock not fully fitting into the silicone pussy was a stunning visual that made you realize just how deep he would go inside of you. It made your throat dry for a moment, forced you to swallow hard before you could speak. 
“You’re right here, baby?” You asked, tapping a finger on the top of the toy, knowing that he would feel it as a vibration through the plastic. 
He let out a gasp and bucked his hips up slightly, something that made you smile. He was too hazy to answer you already, something that you forgave for now. He was just too beautiful to scold in these moments. 
“Fuck, you don’t even fit into this thing all the way, do you?” You gasped quietly, still absolutely marveling at the sight. 
“I don’t?” Spencer gaped, finally looking down to where the toy was swallowing his cock, seeing as your words had captured his attention. “Is - is that bad?” 
He was struck with worry. He thought that perhaps his cock wasn’t right - that he shouldn’t be doing this, that you wouldn’t like him. 
It was in that moment that you realized what a treasure you had come across. A beautiful, intelligent man with a huge cock who had no idea how to use it. Someone who needed to be taught from scratch. Someone who could be molded into anything you wanted him to be. (At least in the sexual sense.) That, and he seemed to be naturally submissive and derive pleasure from following your orders. 
You most definitely weren’t going to let him go anytime soon. 
“No, baby, that’s a good thing.” You assured him. “That’s a great thing.” 
Spencer smiled at this - an expression that slacked off into a moan when you made your next move. 
You gave the toy a slow half-pump before you seated it on his cock again, seemingly knocking the wind out of them. Then, you let go of the toy completely, letting him sit there with the fleshlight on his cock, bobbing in mid-air. It began to rise up slightly as the tightness of it hugged his cock, and unconsciously, he bucked up his hips, seeking more friction. But of course - the object was simply hanging there, seated on his cock, unmoving. It was an entirely fruitless venture. 
With his hands tied behind his back, he needed you. It was an adorable struggle to watch for a moment, especially when his face knit with frustration and his thighs began to quiver from the effort. 
“Please,” He begged. He was so pretty when he begged. “Help me.” 
“You want me to help you fuck your toy?” You teased, reaching for it again. 
“Please, Miss.” 
When he whined like that, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. 
You took a good grip on the plastic then, and began a quick, smooth rhythm. You were eager to see his reaction to being fucked well, being fucked without hesitation. 
Spencer immediately shuddered and began letting out harsh whimpers. He bit his lip, but it didn’t keep the sounds from wailing out of his throat as you pumped the toy up and down on his cock. 
His chin was tilted down onto his chest, keeping his eyes locked on the place where the toy was devouring his hard cock. This caused his glasses to slip down his nose bridge slightly, something so entirely adorable to you in the moment. With his thighs tense and his stomach quaking, with that pool of artificial wetness leaking onto his pubes and slowly creeping down over his balls - he was so beautifully fucked out, the most perfect picture you had ever seen in your life. 
“Oh - oh, oh, oh god!” His mouth fell open once again and an array of sounds fell out, a beautiful little choir that you could have only dreamed of coming from him. “Oh, please!” 
You had to wonder if he was the type of person to swear when he came. Spencer was never the type of person to swear during other extreme situations. You had never seen him let out a single curse, not even with a gun to his head. 
You had to wonder if you could be the one to make him swear. 
“Please, Miss!” He squeaked out, sounding entirely wrecked and desperate. “Please, I’m close-!” 
You couldn’t resist the temptation of stilling the toy completely, abruptly cutting off his orgasm once again. Spencer let out a broken sound as his muscles jolted and the feeling ebbed through him - so close, but not quite there. It was like a terrible ache in his muscles. Like a deep, terrible thirst with nothing to drink. 
“Please,” He begged, his eyes shooting to lock onto you. “Please! Please, Miss.” 
“Please, what, baby?” You teased him, reaching up and gently carding your fingers through his hair, brushing some of it off his forehead. He had a light sheen of sweat going, his body clearly strained. It was delightful to witness. 
“Please,” He rasped out brokenly, so entirely desperate.  “I - I need it.” 
You bit your lip, holding back laughter at how perfect this was.
“Need what, baby?” You continued to tease him. “Come on, use your words.” 
He swallowed hard, and stared at you with glassy desperation in his eyes. Either he was shy, or had no clue what exactly it was you wanted him to say - so you decided to guide him along. 
“Say: I need to cum.” You told him, hoping that he was desperate enough now that he would simply repeat the filthy words. 
“I - I need to cum.” He repeated, only mild hesitation on his lips. 
“Say: I need you to make me cum.” You told him, pushing it a bit father. 
“I need you,” He said, pausing slightly to catch his breath. “Need you to make me cum.” 
“Good boy.” You praised him, running his hand through your hair once again. 
You stood up this time, and put one hand on the back of the chair behind his shoulder for leverage, leaning over him as you took the toy in hand and started moving it once again. This gave him a perfect view down your top, and his lustful gaze locked onto your swaying cleavage as you worked on jacking the fake pussy on his cock. It was a maddening suction that had him grunting lowly with every thrust, letting out whines, flexing his hips to fuck his cock up into the toy. 
“Does it feel good, pretty boy?” You asked, so heavily enjoying the sight of him so messy, so wrecked. 
“Yes!” He easily replied. 
“What are you thinking about? Hmm?” You couldn’t help but to ask. 
“I - hnng - I - I don’t know!” He gaped. 
Either he was lying, and simply didn’t want to tell you what was on his mind, or you had truly fucked his head empty. If it was the second, then you would heavily enjoy that fact. 
“You don’t know?” You asked, your voice absolutely teasing once again. “Well, that’s a first.” You chuckled. 
Spencer panted harshly, filling the space for a moment - along with the wet squelching of the toy moving up and down on his cock as your wrist continued to work. And then you became bold enough to ask the question that you truly wanted to. 
“You thinkin’ about my pussy?” You prodded. “You imagining that this toy is me? Wondering what’s gonna be like when I finally sit on your cock?” 
“Yes!” He was suddenly very eager to admit to this. Clearly it helped that he didn’t have to say the words for himself. “Yes! Yes, Miss! I want you. I want your-”
He cut himself off suddenly, moaning sharply as the tip of his cock brought up in the end of the fake pussy once again. It sent a jolt of pleasure-pain through him that had his skin boiling even hotter. You wondered if he would be bold enough to say the word ‘pussy’ or if you would have to heavily prompt him. 
But that thought left your head completely with his next words. 
“Oh! Oh, please! I’m so close!” 
Again, feeling the devil rise up inside of you, you stopped off his orgasm. 
This time, by pulling the toy away completely. You lifted the fleshlight off his cock, and watched with lustful joy as his cock slipped out of the opening with a wet pop. His thighs quaked with bitter agony and his long cock bobbed in the air, dripping thick waves of precum and lube as it separated from the toy. 
Everything was so wet. 
It was honestly a gorgeous sight, like a mini tidal wave dripping down onto the chair as the toy continued to leak the generous amount of lube you had put into it and his cock let out pathetic little spurts of precum. His pubes were glossy and matted together, his inner thighs were absolutely slick. He was glistening and whining harshly as the ruined orgasm crashed through his body, making his mind somehow even hazier and more desperate. 
“God!” He choked out. “Please!” 
He blinked harshly and a few tears escaped the corners of his eyes, making him look even more gorgeous somehow. 
“Please - please! I need - I need - oh god!” He began sobbing nonsensically, begging you for release as he was practically on the verge of madness. 
Your cunt throbbed at seeing him so wrecked - so utterly dependent on you. 
“Hey, hey, shh.” You reached your free hand out and thumbed under the edge of his glasses - the thick lenses only magnifying his glassy eyes and lustful, broken tears all the more. You soothed your touch across his burning cheek, reassuring him. “You’ve been such a good boy. I’m gonna let you cum now. Okay?” 
“Please!” He sobbed. 
Hearing his voice so broken and needy probably shouldn’t have turned you on so much, but you absolutely loved it. 
“Hey, shh,” You continued to rub his cheek, and he leaned into the touch. “I just need one thing from you first.” 
“Anything!” He easily declared. 
“I need you to say: ‘may I cum, please?’” You told him. 
It was a start on the scale of filthy things that you wanted to hear from his mouth, but it would definitely be oh so satisfying. 
And then - as if he knew exactly what he was doing to you, he blinked his big eyes and looked up at you through tear wet lashes, giving you the most pouty, fuckable look as he leaned into your hand before he said the words. 
“May I cum, please?” He asked. And then, like the wet dream that he was, he seamlessly added on. “Please, Miss. I-I’ve been a good boy.” 
“Yes, you have been.” You told him. “I’ll make you cum now baby.” 
You used both hands to get his cock back inside of the toy - the sound of his cock fucking back into the fake pussy was so much wetter, the whine he let out made your knees weak. 
You doubled your efforts now, even going so far as to squeeze your grip on the outside of the plastic - which made the silicone grip his cock just that little bit tighter as you slammed it up and down on him. Your movements were hard and fast in the effort to make him cum for certain this time. 
“Oh, oh, oh, you - oh!” Spencer began babbling nonsense, his words barely broken up by harsh breaths being sucked into his lungs and whimpers emanating from his throat at the intense pleasure. “Oh, Miss - you - you’re so - ah!” 
“Where’s that big IQ now, boy genius?” You taunted him, keeping up the brutal pace. “Did I make you all stupid? Did I melt your big brain? Huh?” 
Spencer all but confirmed this as truth when he gurgled out nothingness as a response. 
You felt slightly bolder, and you became slightly harsher in your degrading words. You almost couldn’t help yourself. You loved tearing him apart so much, having him melt under your touch. You couldn’t help but to brag about the amazing job you had done. 
“Just a dumb little baby now, aren’t you?” You cooed, your voice entirely condescending. “Just a stupid little boy for me. So cumdrunk you can’t even think now, huh? There’s no boy genius here now. Just a dumb baby who needs to cum.” 
He only inflated your ego with his next words. 
“Yes!” He shouted out, entirely confirming what you had said - if he had even properly heard it through the blood pumping in his ears. To him, it might have just been the raw hum of your voice in the background, like an undertone with no true words to it. “Yes! Need - need t’ cum!” 
It was the most incoherent you had ever known Doctor Spencer Reid to be. 
You stared on eagerly as you watched his stomach tighten up, his lungs struggling for breath. 
“Y/N-!” He gasped out your name right before it hit him. 
And when it hit him, when he finally tumbled over the edge into the abyss - boy, it was a big one. 
It was an intense, full body orgasm. His legs shook, his body arched off the chair as though he were having a seizure, actually putting a strain on his bonded arms for the first time. He wildly bucked up into the toy as you continued to work it over his cock, his mouth dropping open wildly as a strain of high pitched, needy whimpers poured out from between his pretty pink lips. 
You were feeling selfish, and you wanted to see him cum at least a bit. 
So knowing that he was riding the wave, you ripped the toy off him, causing a wounded noise to come out of him as his spurting cock fell from it. But you didn’t leave him hanging. You immediately replaced the toy with your hand, and put a tight grip around him, pumping viciously over his throbbing cock, wanting to milk the rest of the orgasm out of him by hand. 
The sudden, shocking overstimulation sent his body into overdrive. 
His thighs shook so hard it could have been mistaken for electrocution, he gasped like a drowning man - he would have begged for mercy, but he couldn’t catch his breath. 
It was the best feeling he had ever experienced. It was pure euphoria, it was heaven on earth. It was an icy hot fire running through his veins that he didn’t even know was possible. 
He had never experienced an orgasm like this before. He knew the feeling of an orgasm to be more like a dull tickle in his groin. But now that he had done this - he didn’t think he could go back to anything else. 
Large spurts of cum blasted from his cock, so overpowering then that painted his stomach, his chest, and much to your delight - a few thick white spurts even dirtied his glasses when you angled his cock that way and kept viciously pumping him. 
His cock was so hot that it felt like it could have burned your hand, so needy and bloated with blood from how long you had edged him. Eventually, when the tip of his cock began to weep out a pathetic clear liquid, and he was on the verge of sobbing once more, you let him go from your grip, finally giving him a moment to breathe. 
You knew for certain that you would never be able to look at Spencer Reid again without seeing this imagery: him, completely fucked out, his face flushed red, mouth agape as he struggled for breath. His naked body, limp cock laying against his pelvis, painted in his own cum - including dirtying up his own glasses. 
You loved those glasses even more now. 
You couldn’t get him to swear - but fuck, that was really something. 
“Thank you.” He said meekly, still struggling for breath. “Th-thank you, Miss.” 
“Good boy.” You leaned in and kissed his forehead. “Such a good boy for me.” 
Now, it was time to take care of him and make sure that he had a good come down. 
You put the toy on the coffee table, placing it with the opening up so it wouldn’t leak everywhere - you wouldn’t clean it later. You also took off his glasses and placed them aside. Again - you would clean them later. 
You rushed to untie his hands, and eased his arms back around his body by gently rubbing his shoulders, hoping that the muscles wouldn’t be too sore or stiff from being in the same position for so long. 
“Such a good boy.” You assured him. “You did so well for me honey.” 
He hummed in acknowledgement. Clearly, he was absolutely exhausted from the ordeal. You hoped you could get his tall, gangly self to his bed on your own if he was so fucked out and weak. You walked back around to his front and laid your lips on his forehead again, murmuring more praises against his skin as you continued to rub his shoulders and run your fingers through his hair. You told him how good he was, how perfect he had been for you, how beautiful he was. 
After a few minutes, you felt his hands on your hips as he came out of the haze. He ran a thumb along the waistband of your pants, and his first words after that haze surprised you. 
“What - what about you?” He asked. 
Clearly, he meant that you should have an orgasm. Your cunt was aching dully between your thighs, and you were sure that you had soaked through your underwear. But that had been a lot for him, and you didn’t want to overwhelm him during the first time. 
“That’ll be a lesson for next time.” You told him quietly. He hummed quietly at this. He felt assured by you simply saying ‘next time’. “I have to clean up your toy now, so you can use it again later. Then I’ll clean you up and tuck you into bed, okay, baby?” 
He nodded. “Yes, please. Thank you.” 
You hesitantly broke away from him and grabbed the toy, and as you moved to leave the room, you paused at him mumbling out more words. 
“Can - can I have a glass of water, please?” He asked quietly. 
“Of course you can, baby.” 
You went into the kitchen and ran the toy under hot water - which you left going as you got a glass and filled it with cold water and ice from the dispenser. You were lucky to find a straw in the takeout bag from earlier - you put it in the glass and, while the hot water was still running in the sink, you rushed out to give Spencer a drink. 
You held the glass while he chugged gratefully from it, and after a few moments, you ensured that he could hold it with his sex tired hands by himself and then you left to finish cleaning up the toy. You set it on his empty dish rack to drip dry (which was quite a sight). And then you went to the bathroom, coming back with a warm cloth to wipe him down. He was only slightly unsteady on his legs as you guided him to bed - his muscles shaking and tired after the whole amazing ordeal. 
You found it endearing that his bed was unmade, surrounded by stacks of books that were lined up on the floor, rather than on any shelf. 
You pulled back the covers completely and helped him get in, and you were tucking him in nicely when he asked the sweet question. 
“Will you cuddle with me?” He asked quietly, looking up at you with those adorable, expectant eyes once again. “You know, for - for the aftercare?” 
You likely would have done it simply because he asked, even if you didn’t deem it ‘necessary’ for aftercare. But because he asked, it was part of good care. 
“Of course.” You answered. “I don’t have any pjs, so do you mind if I sleep in my underwear?” 
You had just tucked him into bed naked, and he was asking you to lay down beside him like that. But still, you wanted to ask how comfortable he would be if you were in a state of undress. 
His eyes shined with interest at the idea of seeing you at least partially undressed. 
“I don’t mind.” He told you. 
You nodded, and stepped back slightly to begin undressing. 
“So - did you have fun?” You asked. You suspected that he had entirely enjoyed himself, but you did want to hear him say it. 
Spencer grinned at this. “I think what we just did has changed my definition of ‘fun’ entirely.” He told you. “In a good way. So you know.” 
You preened at the idea that you had shifted Spencer’s worldview. Someone who most likely spent his free time reading research papers and playing through chess games entirely on his own and called it ‘fun’ would now be thinking about spending his free time playing with you instead. 
You stripped out of your pants, socks, and work blouse, which left you in your simple cotton underwear, a thin cotton camisole and your bra underneath. You decided to take off your bra underneath your shirt and just sleep in the cami and panties for comfort. You knew your underwear was stuck to your cunt from your previous burning arousal, and Spencer’s eyes did focus hard on that, and then focused even harder on the outline of your bare breasts as you ditched your bra off to the side. 
If he had the ability to get hard again after that spectacular orgasm, he probably would have been throbbing at the sight of you. 
You lifted up the covers and crawled into bed with him, cuddling into his side as he tentatively wrapped an arm around your waist. Your stomach fluttered when he kissed the top of your head before you felt his body relax into the mattress. 
“Thank you.” He said quietly, clearly exhausted. “I love it when you teach me things.”
...
The sequel to this fic has now been posted!
Keep Reading Here: Lesson Two - Magic Metacarpals
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millllenniawrites · 1 year
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Daddy Knows Best (Joel Miller x f!Reader)
summary: stranded mid-mission, you and Joel find something to distract you while you wait. 
words: 2.1k
warnings: this is smut so 18+ only allowed beyond this point; daddy kink; afab fem Reader; Reader is described as being smaller than Joel; dark-ish Joel cause we know how dark canon Joel can get; pre-Ellie!Joel; there is very little plot happening here; established relationship; pre-established consent; gaslighting but in a sexy way; orgasm delay/denial; overstimulation; choking; elements of little!Reader; pet names (princess, baby, good girl, whore, honey, sweets); anal play; sex in front of a window (some reflections are used); rough sex; painful sex; bratty!Reader; I almost wanna tag this as cnc just because of some of the dialogue; this is what it says on the tin. Dead Dove, Do Not Eat 
no y/n 
a/n: here y’all go in honour of the final episode! i wasn't anticipating this to be my return after my hiatus but here we are
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Looking out at the dark field, the lights from the helicopters sweeping an empty valley, you should be worried. Everyone is looking for you. Joel had needed your gun that morning to make a run on a supply truck — medicine . Penicillin, Zofran and, more importantly, Codeine — and his haste got you stranded on the top floor of an old office building waiting out the night watch. You should be losing your mind: locked in a room full of broken furniture, praying for a storm in the morning to cover your trail, a case of drugs beside you, one blanket to share. 
Instead of worrying, you’re naked in your business partner’s lap, your back to his chest. Joel’s near fully clothed, his pants pulled down just enough to release his cock, reclined back against a desk and laying on the few cushions you could pull from a couch. He rests against you, not inside, hard and heavy, every inch of him making your mouth water. 
“Daddy… Daddy, I want more…” you groan, trying to wiggle. To get more friction. Anything to ease the incessant warmth between your legs. 
“No y’don’t, baby.” He rocks his hips, his cock rubbing against you just enough to tease. 
You whine, head thrown back on his shoulder. “I do…” 
“Who’s cunt is this?” 
The low rumble of his voice has you clenching around nothing. “Yours, daddy.” 
He chuckles and you stop breathing. “Good girl. And what does that mean?” 
“You know best,” you gasp. 
“Exactly. So when I tell you that your leaky little cunt doesn’t need anymore, you’ve gotta believe me.” He rubs the inside of your thighs, his rough hands dragging deliciously against your skin. 
“But it’s— it hurts, daddy.” You stick your bottom lip out in a pout, not that he can see your face. You hadn’t been allowed to look at him for what felt like hours.
He chuckles, rutting his hips again so the head of his cock bumps against your clit and pulls another whine from you. “I know, baby. But having more won’t make you feel better. It’ll actually make you feel worse.” 
 “No it won’t!” 
His hand immediately moves to your throat. “What was that?” His low voice, coupled with his tightening grip on your neck, steals your breath. 
“I’m sorry, daddy,” you gasp. 
“That’s right. Needy little thing… Don’t make me ask again.” 
You half-expected him to slap you but instead, he lowers his hands to your thighs and spreads you out wider for him, shifting you closer to the windows. You can only just see the reflection of you both in the windows, his dark eyes, your body yielding to his every demand. 
He could snap you in half and you’d let him. 
Joel manhandles you onto your knees, resting on either side of his thighs to keep you open. Your back is still to him but you aren’t leaned fully against him, instead arching away to keep his cock resting against your cunt. 
He presses his hand into your lower back, forcing you further. “There’s my girl. So pretty for me.” His hand drags down the curve of your ass and you can feel the heat of his eyes on you. 
“Please, daddy? Just a little more?” you ask softly, holding perfectly still. “Just the tip? Please?” 
“I already said no.” Something in his voice begs you to challenge him. 
“I know, daddy. But it hurts.” You don’t wiggle despite how badly you wanted to. “Haven’t I been a good girl for you?” 
He ignores you.
“Joel, please.” 
He clicks his tongue. “Good girls don’t beg, honey. So what does that make you?” 
His words draw an ashamed whine from you. 
The way you’ve whittled away his patience comes through in his sigh. “If you can stay still for a whole minute, not moving at all, you can have a little. Hm? How does that sound?” 
“Thankyoudaddy.” Your words come out in a rush. 
Every muscle in your body clenches as you struggle to stay still. Joel lets you have your moment, but just a moment, before his hands start on you: running up your sides, pinching at your nipples, tugging gently at your hair. You let him move your head around but nothing else, your gaze trained outside to keep your focus. 
He’s too close. It feels too good. 
You can last a whole minute. You’re sure of it. 
His hands slide down your back to kneed at your ass. “So pretty, baby.”
No matter what he does to goad you, somehow, miraculously, you stay still. 
After the longest minute of your life, he coos, “Good girl.” 
Immediately sinking down, you do your best to only take the tip of him. You really really try. Clenching down, legs shaking, whimpering with the effort as he thrusts just enough that you can feel him, just enough to give you a taste of the friction you’ve been begging for. 
But he’s right. You’re needy. Too needy to resist when everything you want is so close. 
You began to rock your hips in time with his little thrusts, inching yourself lower and lower onto him. As wet as you are from the hours of incessant teasing, the stretch of him knocks the air from your chest. 
He freezes, fingers digging into your hips. At your moan, he pushes further, forcing you up and off of him enough that he’s just barely inside you. 
“Think I’m not gonna notice?” He bites out, grabbing your ankles, forcing your legs wider and flipping you onto your face. He pulls your hips up, keeping a tight grip on you as he positions you exactly where he wants you. “You wanna be a little whore? Fine.” 
He sinks into you, none of the typical warm up on his fingers or his tongue to get you ready to take him, and you scream, hands scrambling for purchase. It burns, equal parts pleasure and pain. 
“I was treating you so nice, princess. But you just had to be greedy, didn’t you?” 
“I’m sorry, daddy,” you gasp. 
“Y’aren’t yet.” 
He wrenches your head back by your hair. With his knees between yours, he forces your legs wider, setting a punishing pace. His thumb rubs harshly across your clit, drawing his name from your lips with every stroke. 
He knows what he’s doing and you hate him for it. 
You cry as he finally bottoms out and his pace becomes almost brutal, his tight grip on you keeping you from squirming away. 
“Now you’re done? Had enough?” He curls over you, snapping his hips into yours. “Gonna run from me, baby?” 
“N-no, daddy,” is all you manage to get out before Joel shoves two fingers into your mouth, hooking them into your cheek and tugging your head to the side. 
“Get ‘em wet or this is gonna hurt.”
Obediently, you run your tongue around his fingers, sucking lightly on them. He hums his approval. So close to the windows, you can see yourself in the glass, tear tracks of frustration running down your face, wild-eyed, lips tight around his fingers like you were taught. Like Joel taught you. Trained you. Hours on your knees had taught you one thing: something in your mouth meant you’d better be working for it. 
Shame runs hot down your spine.
You know what Joel wants. 
And he knows exactly how to get it. 
Something in the angle of his hips changes and his cock is dragging inside you, right where you need him. 
“Right there? That what you need?” 
“Please…” you moan around his fingers. 
“Not yet, baby.”  
As good as you’ve tried to be, as much as you’ve tried to listen, you can’t hold out. And Joel knows it. 
“Okay, baby,” he says and your eyes squeeze shut as he makes you cum for the first time that night. Relief burns hot from the denial of the previous hours, washing over you and turning your body to putty. Your back arcs further and you collapse to the cushions under you, limp. 
Joel knows an invitation when he sees one. 
His hips slow, but don’t stop. He pulls his fingers from your mouth and sinks one into your ass. No time to recover, but you can’t help but push back, wordlessly whining, begging for more despite how overstimulated you already are. 
“Greedy girl. D’you want me here next?” 
You sob and he leans over you, breath hot and heavy at your ear. 
“See, sweets? Told y’this would be too much.” 
All you can do is moan in response. You’re full, taking more than he’s ever made you as he adds a second finger. The stretch is entirely overwhelming. You know he’s talking, can feel the rumble of his voice moving through you, but you can’t make out the words, your mind fuzzy and echoing a chant of ‘please please please’.
You only realize the words are coming out of your mouth too when he flips you onto your back and his lips find yours, just for a moment, insistent and controlling even as you share breath. 
He props your hips up before starting in on you again, curling his fingers inside you and rubbing circles over your clit with his thumb. “Eyes up here, honey. Lemme watch.” 
You try to reach for his cock and he bats your hand away. With a click of his tongue and a, “So demanding,” he eases his fingers out of you and lubes himself up with them before sliding in again, still working over your clit as he finds a new pace. The angle, with him driving into you, keeping you from moving at all, lets you feel every inch of him. 
“Fuckin’ love this cunt, baby,” he groans, his lips between his teeth as he watches where your bodies meet with dark eyes.  
Every part of you aches, but you don’t want him to stop. Not when he’s looking at you like that,  like you’re the only thing he can see, his brow furrowed as he concentrates every ounce of himself on driving you right to the edge. 
Your hands fist the twisted blanket under you, desperate for something to hold on to as Joel makes your body do exactly what he wants. 
“C’mon, honey. We just started. Gotta give me more. At least one.” 
Your brain whites out. 
~
He’s stroking your hair as you come to, wrapped in his arms and the warm blanket. 
“Y’okay, sweet girl? You back with me?” 
You hum an affirmative and cuddle in closer. 
Chopper blades whir overhead and you have the sense to open your eyes. The sun has begun to suggest its rising behind the far hills, but that slight warm light is really all you can make out. “’m supposed to take watch.” 
Joel chuckles, “You’ll just fall asleep.” 
“Prolly.” Your head lulls to the side so you can see his face. His gaze is focused out the window, but you’ve worked with him enough to notices when he’s watching without looking. 
And you know he’s watching you. 
“Was that okay?” you whisper. 
He rubs up your back. “You’re always perfect, honey. You’re feeling okay?” 
You nod into his shoulder so that he can feel the motion. “That was exactly what I needed.” 
He hums, “Good,” and readjusts the blanket so that it’s covering you. “I’ll wake you when I need to sleep.” 
“D’you think we’ll get out of here tomorrow?” 
His shrug is almost imperceptible. “Might need to stay one more day.” 
You wiggle up enough to kiss his cheek before burying yourself in his chest and the blankets, letting sleep carry you off. 
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joel miller fic recs
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you are responsible for the content you consume‼️
✧*:·˚ hi everyone!! here is a list of all the fics that are my favs with tagged writers/authors ✧*:·˚
✧*:·˚ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each writer!! ✧*:·˚
✧*:·˚ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings ✧*:·˚
✧*:·˚ also, if you'd like me to remove your fic from this list, message me! ✧*:·˚
°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。
*✧* for you, anything by @mellowsaturns joel miller x reader | fluff, soft!joel, domesticity, established relationship, reader caught a cold, sick fic
-joel do what he does best, smuggling and taking care of you
*✧* good thing by @pedros-mustache joel miller x fem!reader | smut (18+ only). also: established relationship, angst, non-planned pregnancy, implied sex-for-pay, age gap, language, 4k
-“how long have you known?”
*✧* i'm right here by @orangevtae joel miller x fem!reader x platonic!ellie williams | reader uses she/her pronouns, mentions to panick attacks and PTSD's, reader is seen like a mother figure to ellie, hurt/comfort, death and blood (typical TLOU thing), joel and reader are in a stabilished relationship, slight mentions to episode 4
-ellie needs reassurance that you are alive and well after an infected surprise attack while you were taking a walk with her
*✧* hopelessly devoted to you by @omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts joel miller x fem!reader | SMUT 18+, fluff, AGE GAP (reader is late twenties, joel is like 56), language, near death experience, violence, oral f receiving, p in v penetration, unprotected sex, enemies to lovers ish, just filth, daddy kink, slight angst, mentions of death, injuries, tending wounds, rough!Joel, dom!joel
-you’ve been by ellie’s side since she was little, a family figure and her protector, after both of your families passed away and you found one another in the qz. so, when the gruff and demanding joel miller steps into the picture to take you both to the lab ellie needs, the two of you don’t see eye to eye. but after time passes, attraction settles in and you and Joel might feel more for the other than you thought. 
*✧* faithful by @mypoisonedvine joel miller x reader | smut (18+ only; oral f receiving, unprotected sex, very slight dacryphilia kinda?, a touch of degradation and dumbification in there, and virginity loss with some pain and one mention of blood), heavy age gap (not specified but the reader is absolutely an adult), insecure crybaby reader, unrequited love/pining, reader wants to fuck joel so bad it makes her look stupid (and we love that for her cause same), angst, tess getting kinda screwed over but only because it's absolutely necessary for the plot, emotionally repressed joel, mention of reader's parents being deceased (implied to be infected), 9.2k
-joel wasn't looking for a follower, or a protégé, or an employee— whatever you're supposed to be— when he saved some dumbass kid from a couple runners. but he ended up with you anyways, and you swore to always be faithful to him... in every way.
*✧* a warm bed by @guess-my-next-obsession joel miller x fem!reader | E (18+ only, mature descriptions of death/apocalyptic life, blurry infidelity, unprotected PIV, dirty talk, cum play), 3.4k
-it was freezing out today in boston but you didn’t notice, not with the flames that burned beside you as you hoisted dead child after dead child into the makeshift mass crematorium.
*✧* joel fic by @forever-rogue joel miller x fem!reader | 2.3k
-people always seemed to call you shy. 
*✧* joel fic by @forever-rogue joel miller x fem!reader | language; tlou typical violence, 3.4k
-“do you really think this place is safe?”
*✧* first time by @charnelhouse joel miller x fem!reader |
-"i can't," you gasp, nails biting into his shoulders. "it's-fuck-too much-too much."
*✧* crazy love by @cowgurrrl joel miller x fem!reader (plus platonic fem!reader x ellie williams) | mentions of david, nightmares, a panic attack, 1.3k
-ellie has a nightmare and you and Joel help calm her down
*✧* safe with you by @flightlessangelwings joel miller x fem!reader | established relationship, protective!joel, hurt/comfort, attempted harassment, choking (the non-sexy kind), minor character death, feelings, fluff, tommy’s the best wingman, support from Ellie, no use of y/n, 2.8k
-the bar bustled with life as you made your way through the crowd. you carried as many beers as you could at a time for the group that had arrived in jackson earlier that day.
*✧* his protection by @absurdthirst joel miller x fem!reader | post apocalyptic violence, mentions of gun violence, mentions of blood, murder, torture, gore, rough sex, unprotected sex, kidnapping, imprisonment, threats of cannibalism, unhinged delusions of grandeur, fire, being restrained, allusions to sexual assault, 5.2k
-when david's group takes you and ellie to their settlement, you warn them that joel will come for you. knowing that he will do whatever it takes to get back those under his protection.
*✧* teamwork by @allfoolsinluv crave!joel miller x fem!reader x tess servopoulos | explicit, 18+ only. Minors DNI, established poly relationship, m/f/f dynamics, age gap (reader's in her 20s, Joel & tess are in their 40s), unprotected p-in-v (wrap it up folks), dirty talk, praise, low-key dom/sub undertones, nipple play, fingering (f receiving), language, 1.2k
-did you come already?, spread your legs for (me), I want to see you
*✧* joel blurb by @sprout-fics joel miller x gn!reader
-"get inside."
*✧* a part of you, a part of me by @apollyonsdarksecrets joel miller x fem!reader | 18+ minors DNI. smut, unplanned pregnancy, crying, fluff, pre-outbreak joel. established relationship, cream pie, pet names, cussing, pregnancy tests, just a bunch of happiness because that’s all joel deserves in this world.
-joel’s been down this road before, he’s seen all the signs, and he knows before you ever do that you’re pregnant.
*✧* on his backseat by @causeimhappinesss  joel miller x gn!reader | smut, age gap (reader in her 20s), unprotected sex, slight breeding kink + wrap your biscuit
-all day long, a crazy tension had built up between you and Joel, at first for a silly little thing, but he refused to agree with you, when you were absolutely right.
*✧* moments silence by @nexusnyx joel miller x reader | canon-divergence; reader and tess met joel at the same time, and all three became a tight-knit unit, explicit mature content, minors dni; age gap, mentions of canon-typical violence, confessions, touch starved, dry humping, oral sex (m receiving), slow & deep sex, but also rough sex?, dirty talk, little spoon joel.
-joel has no idea why bill gifts him with the book. had he rambled about you that much? It seemed impossible—to be fair, but surely there were other things besides your name on his tongue. besides how much you love your books and care for them. Besides how much he's learned since he met you because of them.
*✧* maybe now by @supernaturalgirl20 joel miller x fem!reader | smut 18+, explicit, unprotected sex, PinV sex, breeding kink, mentions of loss, sadness, talks about life before, mentions of pregnancy, giving birth, breastfeeding, soft joel, small glimpses into Joel’s life with his new family.
-happy horny joel with major breeding kink because ellie is already grown up and he need to take care of somebody and jackson is safe enough for family.
*✧* blood in the cut by @wheresarizona  joel miller x fem!reader | E (18+!! this is straight-up smut. age gap (20-25 years, unspecified), unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), rough sex, oral sex (f receiving), dirty talk, praise kink, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, spit mention, (1) spank, soft joel at the end)
-you’re distracted while working with joel, and it almost costs you your lives. luckily, he knows how to get you out of your head—it’s just a little surprising because you didn’t think he liked you, but here he is eating you out like it’s his last meal.
*✧* the babysitter by @guess-my-next-obsession pre-outbreak! joel x babysitter!reader | E (18+ ONLY, smut under cut, age gap (Joel’s 32, reader is 25), fwb to lovers, unprotected piv, creampie, joel has feeeeeeelings, soft ending), 1.2k
-“quiet, baby,”
*✧* joel fic by @eufezco joel miller x fem!reader
-"ask her out."
*✧* fucking runners by @jpg-angel joel miller x reader | Minors DNI!, hurt/comfort, mentions of an injury, reader mercy kills tess, OOC Joel? (maybe? idk I blacked out while writing this), fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex (I don't think condoms are easy to come across in the zombie apocalypse), little but of hair pulling
*✧* pieces of you by @pedros-mustache joel miller x fem!reader | established relationship, language, references to sex, references to age gap
-maybe it’s wrong. maybe it’s possessive and a tad bit jealous. maybe after years working alongside tess, you’ve simply learned to lay your claim on what is yours. 
*✧* first glimpse of love by @valerinaswriting joel miller x fem!reader | established relationship, age gap (sorry i can’t help myself), reader is attacked by a clicker, mentions of death, soft!joel, shower sex, unprotected sex, slight cockwarming, tess does not exist in this fic!
-after a close call with death, joel refuses to let you go.
*✧* joel fic by @forever-rogue joel miller x fem!reader | 2.4k
-"you came back for me"
*✧* joel angst by @forever-rogue  joel miller x fem!reader | language, tlou typical violence, 3.4k
-reader gets hurt protecting ellie and joel tells reader he loves them for the first time
*✧* not a kid by @ourautumn86 joel miller x fem!reader | +18 content. mdni. age difference (r is 24 and joel is 56), fighting, mentions of death, images of death, murder, dirty talking, praising, oral sex, piv sex, rough angry sex, finger fucking, unprotected sex (GUYS WRAP THE DONG UP), cream pie…
-“are you alright?!”
*✧* i got you baby by @cosmictheo joel miller x fem!reader | angst, death mentions, suicide mentions, mental breakdown, crying fit, some backstory from reader's past, joel being the most comforting best boyfriend ever, ellie being the angel she is, 2k
- joel helps you through a emotional breakdown after henry and sam's death.
*✧* crazy love by @cowgurrrl joel miller x fem!reader (plus platonic fem!reader x ellie williams) | 1.3k, mentions of David, nightmares, a panic attack
-ellie has a nightmare and you and Joel help calm her down
*✧* for the things they hold dear by @cruelfvkingsummer  joel miller x reader | kinda dark, fucked up love, kinda toxic, possessive, controlling, AGE GAP (unspecified but mentioned a lot), nasty smut, breeding kink, like literally nasty, violence, blood, God is like his literal enemy, calls you 'mama; sugar; sweetheart',there are mentions of blood while doing the nasty, daddy kink (mentioned a few times), joel is emotionally constipated but hey who can blame him, unbeta'd
-he can't say he loves you -- he doesn't need to.
*✧* joel fic by @eufezco joel miller x reader | a little smut at the end
-you're a little jealous of tess.
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bengiyo · 7 months
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Having dropped Dangerous Romance, I am now down to three shows. As our intrepid BL adventurer, what would you recommend I watch?
Airing or Recently Finished
Of the things currently airing, I would recommend the following.
My Personal Weatherman (Gaga, Viki)
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This show has been a fascinating examination of a new-ish relationship with some heavy kink overtones. This show is not so much about the chase, and so much more about how these two could actually function long-term. I've enjoyed reading @lutawolf kink talk about this one, and the leads have some of the best sexual chemistry we've seen from Japan.
If It's With You (Gaga)
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We have a sexually active and assured gay protagonist who knows who he is and what he wants. He's also a menace with some sort of trauma. I am absolutely obsessed with him. This show is going to be very short at 5 episodes, so it may be one you don't want to miss out on. Truly, this has felt like nothing else we've had in a long time and I've been thinking about it for days.
Love in Translation (iQIYI)
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This just finished and is an absolute delight. This is one of the better executions of a workplace romance we've seen this year, and was the show anchoring me with all the heavy shows and silly shows airing at once. This show had so much heart to it. It had some wobbles towards the end, but the kindness underpinning this show makes it one of my favorites of the year.
Past Shows
Because you're still doing the homework, here are some shows I know you missed.
Make It Right (Grey)
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You should still finish this. I still believe this is one of the most important foundational works for what made Thai BL start to feel more queer. This show asked big questions about male sexual maturation and I don't think any of the Thai high school shows have gone there since.
We Best Love (WeTV)
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You probably haven't watched much from Taiwan, but this is one of the best examples of why we remain committed to them. Sam Lin and Yu have hands down the top three best paired chemistry in BL.
Rainbow Prince (YouTube)
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This camp masterpiece from last year is one of my favorite shows. It is a hot mess, but the songs are fun and the plot is ridiculous.
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prince-liest · 28 days
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asdfGH STOP alastor was SO fucking mean in the last 666 installment lol. that ruined orgasm had me cringe in sympathy... however the fact that vox left this one absolutely unsatisfied in some ways (and completely fulfilled in others!! A-plus for effort on the aftercare alastor sadfg good job) makes it stand out all the more that at NO point is there the suggestion that alastor "owes" him something (like finishing him off properly--"I'm not having sex with you again."). like idk, something about vox bitching and sulking without ever actually implying that what alastor is offering isn't good enough and that he's being lead on or whatever? making my aroace heart sing <3 - ✨
Congrats, sparkle emoji anon, you've earned enough investment points from me that I'm willing to publish this ask despite my usual allergy to posting outright explicit words on my blog. Yes, I'm aware that sounds insane considering [gestures the actual fic you're referencing]. Still putting it under a cut, though.
It is so fucking funny to me every time people comment on how mean Alastor is because fundamentally it is me. It's me, I'm mean! That person having a bit of a sadist awakening in my comments in one of the earlier episodes of this series? You're welcome, that came from the heart. The folks that are gently but enthusiastically surprised that Alastor followed through on his threat? Alastor and I are in fact shaking hands about "suffering inspires not mercy but more cruelty." The "set up to fail" tag on AO3 has three fics in it and they're all mine. I'm on the front picket lines for Team "There Is A Fucking Difference Between Delay And Denial Actually!"
That said, I think it's a fun way to write Alastor and Vox specifically because Vox is consistently delighted to be the subject of Alastor's sadistic appetites. While Alastor is certainly projecting a little when he mocks Vox for enjoying being made to suffer through things he's not fundamentally that into (since "forcibly cross my boundaries, thanks" is also an Alastor kink in this series), he's also not wrong. Vox is out here hitting home runs for team Holy Shit Alastor Likes Doing Things To Me. The psychosexual obsession tag is not being retired any time soon.
And I'm glad that it lands well with the subject of Alastor's aroaceness! I'm actually going to tackle that a leeetle bit more in the next episode because despite their dynamic on this subject often including Vox begging specifically because they both like it when Alastor tells him 'no,' it's still, like, a thing that most of the time they've been spending together has been contingent on either sex or grievous injury. Vox is fairly well managing being pushy to vent his frustration without actually being entitled, both as a kink thing and wrt actual hard line 'no' boundaries! Unfortunately, Alastor starting to care about the time they spend together means he's still picking things up that haven't, like, 100% been put down. They continue to be better at rugby-tackling heavy topics than talking like normal people.
Anyway! Thank you very much, hahaha, I'm glad you enjoyed both the sexy bits and the hints of feels!
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thecreelhouse · 4 months
Text
part time soulmate, full time problem
Paring: Gator Tillman x Alt Fem!Reader (she/her pronouns) || MDNI!
Summary: The tragic accident Willow died in replays in a nightmare, in great detail, along with how you and Gator stopped talking years ago. While Gator comforts you, a confession slips, making it crystal clear there’s no going back.
Word count: 10k+
CW/Tags: PTSD/flashbacks/nightmares, hurt/comfort, blood/injury mentions, discussions of kinks and boundaries, somnophilia, dacryphilia, oral sex (both f and m receiving), praise kink, degradation kink, anal play, brat taming, boot grinding (I’m so sorry lmao), bunch of other filth, lots of fluff in between it all
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Series Masterlist // Read on AO3
A/N: hi y’all!! This chapter’s hopefully gonna make up for the heaviness of the last one, as well as the insanity of this week’s episode. It’s emotional, but I promise it’s a lot sweeter than the last chapter. Thanks again for all the support on this series y’all. <3
Day 9
Freshly 18, you had your own place, your own car; safety to retreat to, and a way out, just in case. You had worked so hard for things your classmates were gifted from parents and took for granted. What they got for free from parents who cared, you’d work two jobs after school for.
Independence like yours on the surface was something most teens your age yearned for, but deep down, it was just a painful reminder of the way your family was falling apart right before your very eyes. You did what you had to do to survive, and to keep your sister safe from the threats that once hurt you.
“She’ll be here, it’s alright.” Gator said softly as you glued yourself to the window, while you watched the snow coat the street below your shitty shoebox sized apartment. His hands rested on your shoulders from behind, instantly easing some of your tension. “You taught Willow how to drive in this weather. She knows how to be safe.”
You wordlessly nodded, eyes never leaving the view out of your window. Gator could tell nothing would ease your mind until she arrived. It didn’t help that you were beginning to feel a strange distance growing between the two of you already, but he was still here at this point.
“Would it help if I went out to look for her?”
You finally turned around, seeing how concerned Gator was, too. “Don’t do that, you’re right. She’s fine. She’s probably just driving slowly in the snow. I’d rather her get here alive if slowly than not at all.” Your eyes linger, locking with Gator’s for a moment; you could tell neither of you believed your words. You chewed on your thumbnail as you turned around to look out the window again.
All the “what-ifs” began to run through your mind again, even as you watched the snow slow to a light dusting of flurries.
A police car pulled up in front of your building, catching your eye; your heart sank into your stomach. Something wasn’t right. Your hand fell to your side and your breathing became shallow, rapid.
“Gator?” Your voice shook as you called out for him, but a knock on the apartment door grabbed his attention first. You whipped around, as Gator waited for your OK to answer the door, since he was closer to it. You nodded, feeling lightheaded; your mind was one step ahead, dissociating already.
Now you knew something wasn’t right. Especially if they were here to talk to you, not your parents.
Gator swung the door open, and it’s no one you recognized, but he did; someone who worked with his dad regularly.
All sound around you faded out as a ringing took its place, high pitched and painful. Nothing was right. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. It was all wrong.
Gator took over on conversation with the familiar cop, voices hushed in a somber tone; you saw him in your peripheral vision continue to look back to you, worried, but this sickening daze held you in a death grip. You couldn’t breathe; it felt like your lungs were filling up with sorrow already to brace yourself for whatever was about to come.
It only took hearing the words “I’m sorry,” to set it all off; you weren’t even aware you were already crying, but those two words pulled the most heartbreaking, bloodcurdling wail from your lungs.
You didn’t faint, but your mind had a gap from that moment and how you ended up on the floor in the fetal position, screaming. You didn’t know when Gator came over to you, to grip you in his arms, as if you’d vanish before his eyes. As if the grief would’ve swallowed you whole on the spot.
The ringing faded a little, and you could only make out some things Gator said; something about the cop giving him all the information to give to you, and that he’d go see your parents next, and that he truly was so sorry.
You were always Willow’s emergency contact before anyone else. But she didn’t even have a chance to call for help, a drunk driver hit her head on, and she died on impact. Meanwhile, that drunk motherfucker survived.
Waves of anger and pain flooded through you, so you sobbed and grabbed Gator as tight as he held you. You couldn’t see past the tears, but you heard him crying, too.
“I’m so sorry.” It was all Gator could say to you, other than, “I’ve got you, I’m right here.” repeating it over and over.
“Don’t leave me,” You wept, unsure where that came from. He wasn’t moving, he was still holding you. If Willow was gone, Gator was truly all you had in this terrible town.
“Promise I won’t.” He said firmly, “I’m here for you.”
He repeated it so many times, you actually believed him.
Days later, arrangements were made only by you, since your parents couldn’t be bothered. You texted Gator to give him the details, but he never responded. Only left you on read. So, you called him. No answer, ever. Even went to his house, to which you were given some weak excuse by Roy as to why he was busy and unavailable. Every time you tried to contact him, tell him about the viewing and funeral, he never answered. Not once had he checked on you since the night Willow died.
So, you stood alongside your parents at the viewing, feeling so alone, even as you sat through friends and family giving their condolences down the line after paying respects to Willow. It wasn’t even her. Just a dolled up shell of who she was, or rather, wasn’t. No amount of thick, oily, mortuary makeup would ever make your sister look alive again. You felt isolated during the service, shut out from the only other people that should’ve cared for you. They should’ve cared about Willow, too.
And as the casket lowered into the ground, all you could think of was how you wished it was only the snow that took her, and not some scumbag drunk driver. The biggest wish was that she was never stolen from life so early at all. Your only other thought was how you wished Gator would show up. He never did, so in a crowd of others, you mourned alone.
Time passed, and you stayed in your apartment, distanced yourself even further from your parents, and prayed you’d hear something, anything from Gator.
Eventually, your parents threw out most of Willow’s belongings before you could gather some of them to remember her by. It sent you into a violent rage, throwing their own belongings around the house; frames cracked, vases and knick-knacks shattered, and your mother cried. She wept more over this than at the funeral for her own daughter.
Your father refused to understand your pain, only to unleash his abusive fury on you, like how he did during the days you still lived at home. Your mother watched silently as your father swung fists at his own child. His only child at this point.
After the bereavement time passed, you returned to school with a black eye. No one, not even your teachers asked if you were okay. It was either a punchline in someone’s shitty joke, or juicy gossip, or ignored completely. You weren’t sure which of the three were the worst.
When Gator saw you in the hallway, his heart shattered, but he said nothing. Just gave a quick glance of sympathy before his asshole friends caught his attention again. At first, he said nothing. By the end of the week, he was joining those assholes to say rotten things about you, about how weird you were, how tired and sick you always looked now, and how you probably deserved that black eye.
You pulled yourself out of school to finish senior year in homeschooling; aside from some online classes, you taught yourself the rest. It was a quiet and lonely rest of the school year. You skipped your own graduation. You had no one to celebrate with. Your parents didn’t want to go. Your only friends were gone, one way or another; Willow was dead, six feet under, and Gator suddenly withdrew from your entire life.
You were only home for another month or so before moving on a whim in the early summer. You finished the apartment’s lease, sold most of your things and your car; you packed the few necessities you had, along with some of Willow’s personal belongings she left at your place. Without much of a goodbye, your parents were more than glad to offer a ride to the airport, more than satisfied to get rid of their one remaining child.
As you threw your things into the trunk and slammed it shut, a familiar truck parked across the street, with Gator hesitantly stepping out. The two of you locked eyes for a moment, time stopping around the both of you. He held his breath, unable to move more than one step before you stopped him from crossing the street with a cold glare and your middle finger flipped towards him.
You held it for a few seconds, hoping he noticed how dead tired you looked, how sick the heartbreak of losing two people at once made you, and the few bruises your clothes didn’t cover that your father gave as a farewell present.
Gator looked like he was punched in the gut as you climbed into the backseat, while not once did you look back at him as your parents drove off.
———
Quickly, you’re sitting up in bed, gasping from startling yourself awake. You have a lump in your throat, as if you’d start to cry, but it never starts. Your chest felt heavy as you tried taking deep breaths, not realizing how hard you were gripping Gator’s arm out of instinct, digging your nails into his skin, until he was woken up by the pressure and slight pain.
A searing pain of your own tears glides across the side of your face; your fingers touch along the bandages, and everything begins to flood back to you, along with fresh blood onto your fingertips.
“What the fuck—“ Gator grumbles as his eyes open; he looks pissed, but only for a moment when he sees how distraught you look. His irritation only takes a second to turn to concern, sitting up to move in front of you, hands resting on your shoulders as your body was stuck in this terrible feeling right before the tears break. He holds you just like he did the night Willow died, before moving his hands to cup your face; he’s cautious and gentle with the side that’s injured, keeping his touch off of the wound.
“Hey, darlin’, what’s goin’ on?” Gator’s alert but the sleepiness still clings to his words.
What he thought were tears was blood from the laceration on your face. “Fuck, how’d this open?” Scrambling to get a better look at you, he clicks on the lamp near his bed. He’s torn on whether or not to care for you emotionally or physically first as he takes in the heartbroken, pained look on your face, while blood dribbles down your skin.
Your stare is blank as your breathing stays shallow; everything’s spinning from the dizziness. He sits as close as possible to you, watching you spiral into panic and dread. The wound long forgotten, you look down at your arms and legs, checking for the bruises you were once so used to seeing as a child.
Gator follows your gaze, confused. “What’re you lookin’ for?” He’s pulling his shirt up and over his head, using it to clot the bleeding. Using generous pressure, he holds the fabric to your face, watching blood trickle through, but not drench the shirt, thankfully.
Without a verbal answer for him, your tears finally, finally break. Up until this moment, you were completely numb, but you can’t take it anymore. They’re silent, but they’re rushing down your cheeks wildly, like a broken faucet. Some slip under the shirt on your face, sneaking their way under the fabric and seeping into your cut; you hiss as the salty tears sting. “I wish I- I said goodbye.” Your voice is small and broken. Gator isn’t sure what you’re talking about, but his heart breaks for you regardless.
“Said goodbye to who, darlin’?” He’s reaching over to his nightstand, fumbling through its messy drawer, hoping to find a bandaid; he lucks out, removing the shirt and applying it to your face. He’ll clean it for you later, but right now, you need comfort, and something to stop the bleeding.
You lock eyes with him, overflowing with tears, and he finally gets it, but you answer anyway. “I wish I said goodbye to you, Gator. I- you came by the day I left a- and… and…”
Gator pulls you into a hug, pulling you onto his lap while holding you just as tight as the night your sister died. He realizes the disaster that happened hours earlier must’ve triggered dreams of the past. “I’m so sorry I was so- so mean… I should’ve—“
Gator grabs your face in a clumsy motion with gentle intentions, just missing your wound again. “Don’t. Don’t you dare apologize. You were never mean to me, but I was fuckin’ awful to you. M’so sorry. I’m gonna be regrettin’ that every day for the rest of my life.”
“I was so mean to you as soon as I got here th- though,” you shut your eyes tight, hoping it’ll shield you from any further pain. “That wasn’t fair to you.”
Pulling back while he still holds you, Gator looks devastated as his gaze bores into yours. It kills him that you’re blaming yourself for how the friendship ended, all these years later. He should’ve been there for you; he never should’ve left to begin with. It was his fault he ran away, not yours. It’s his fault you had to finish school at home, his fault you felt so alone in a place you already considered so empty and depressing, feeling like your only other option from giving up was moving hundreds of miles away.
Gator doesn’t even realize that he’s the one crying this time, not until you bring your hands to his face, softly wiping the tears away. His hands meet yours, keeping them in place as he takes comfort in your touch.
“I fucked everythin’ up. I wasn’t there for you when Willow died, I didn’t say goodbye to her, I didn’t protect you from your parents… I can’t even pretend I didn’t know things got worse with ‘em, not with how shameless your dad was about hurtin’ ya’.” His bottom lip quivers while he looks to the ceiling, hoping to stop his tears. This wasn’t about him, and he knew that; his grief and despair was for you, past and present.
“I heard you were leavin’, and it killed me that I never apologized before you left, but I get why you didn’t give me that chance. I never deserved it to begin with. It seemed like it was best to just… back away and protect you from my own bullshit. But we had each others’ backs, and I fucked it up.
“There’s no way to take back the way I hurt you, but I’ll try every day to make things better for the future. Fuck, even if we end up just friends when this is all said and done, I’ll still do anythin’ you need me to. I’m not leavin’ again. Not unless you tell me to.”
You’re at a loss for words, heart breaking as it swells, too. You were no stranger to the abuse his dad had put him through, along with surrounding trauma in that family. It’s something the two of you knew how to comfort one another on. Make each other feel a little less alone.
While you did what you could to get out and start living the life you deserved, he always brushed his pain off, raised to believe expressing emotions and being vulnerable wasn’t what “real men” did. None of this excuses the way he left you behind, but you’re well aware it played a big part in it all, and he never had a healthy outlet to heal through.
Gator’s been suffering, but also drowning in his trauma, too. If he just kept holding on, kept following his father’s orders, no matter how dangerous or unspeakable, maybe that could be his life raft out of the dark waters trying to drag him down.
Truthfully, Gator knew all along being complicit in everything his father has carried out and exploited wouldn’t get him anywhere. He’s no closer to heaven than any other scumbag officer abusing their power to get what they want, or get what his dad wanted. Every empty and full threat made, every shot fired at those who never deserved it, the orders he followed through on, despite his conscious screaming in the back of his mind to stand up for himself— did any of it earn genuine love and approval from his father?
Not at all, and that’s something Gator will carry heavy on his heart until the day he dies.
He really had no one when it came down to it all, no one, except you. He has you. He’s always had you. Even when the two of you didn’t talk for years, he was on your mind more than you’d like to admit, both out of anger, but mostly worrying for his safety and well being.
Unbeknownst to you, he was thinking about you just as often. While he always believed you were tough as nails, a soft rose with razor sharp thorns for anyone who dared hurting you, he couldn’t stop the worry. The bond was a silent radio signal, but the faint buzz still hung lightly in the air between the two of you, even halfway across the country.
“You know… this goes against everything I’ve learned, and unlearned, in the last several years. Forgiving you, I mean. Who you are, that goes against everything I believe in when it comes to morals as a person.”
Gator’s not surprised by your words, but they still hurt like a well needed reality check. It’s still something he brought onto himself. He might’ve been raised by a rotten excuse of a dad, but he could’ve been changing long ago as his own person, as an adult. He could’ve distanced himself from his father and all of his crimes and atrocities, rather than desperately fight for Roy’s approval.
“But you were only that person on the surface. I’ve been lucky to know the real you ‘fore we fell apart. And… I missed you… more than you’d ever know. Seeing you again for the first time in so long… I felt like the only way to keep my guard up was to be mean.” You admit shamefully. Gator brings your hands down with his before lacing your fingers into his. “I don’t even think I realized what I was doing until you—“ You pause, trying to swallow the inevitable lump in your throat, trying to manifest into more crying. “Fuck. I almost hate you for making it so easy to love you again.”
The words slip out before you can catch them in time, eyes widening with embarrassment and fear of rejection and judgement. Your mouth opens and closes comically like a fish as you scramble to think of an excuse.
“Did… did you just say what I think you said?” Gator’s stunned at your accidental confession. He’s also surveying your expression for any uncertainties or doubts.
How are you so good at letting the wrong things slip at the wrong time?
You try shrugging it off, but your hands shake in his grasp. “… You heard nothing.”
“Ain’t that gaslightin’?” He’s teasing, but you’re tensed up, expecting rejection if you answer him. Gator’s eyeing you skeptically, “No, I definitely heard something.”
“Prolly’ just the wind. Very noisy. Can’t shut up, just like me!” You force a laugh, but your voice cracks. “Totally valid you’d think it was me, but nope. Didn’t say a damn thing.”
The two of you are silent for a moment, unable to look away from one another, staying still, afraid to make any movements that could be misinterpreted. The howling wind picks up outside, and a draft breezes between the two of you; you’re too lost in the moment to care about being cold.
What breaks the tension is Gator’s signature cocky smirk, but it’s not malicious. It’s like the one he gave you when you accidentally called him cute a few nights ago.
“You love me?” He hesitates to believe what he heard was actually what you said.
Can’t play dumb out of this one.
You take a deep breath before confessing, “More than I’m willing to actually admit.”
“… You… love me?”
“… I absolutely shouldn’t after everything we went through… but, yeah. Yeah. I do.”
Gator searches your expression for something, anything that’ll give the hint that this is just a joke, a prank, something to get back at him for everything he’s done to you. You don’t break. There’s no sign of your confession being anything less than true.
“We still have so much to learn ‘bout one ‘nother… you sure you want to love someone like me?”
“Only if you want to love someone like me.” You’re terrified saying this out loud, but you’re far past the point of return.
Gator feels like he’s dreaming, and all he can think to ask is, “… Can we still make fun of each other?”
“Pretty sure it’s just our love language at this point,” You laugh away your sniffles. “Just don’t be too mean, alright? Unless it’s like, consensual-in-bed kinda mean—”
Gator stops your rambling, pulling you back into his lap; you’re automatically wrapping your legs around him as he holds you close and tight. “Then yeah. I love you, freak.”
You snort at the once hurtful name, now a reclaimed term of endearment, as you let your head fall into his shoulder, “You’re never gonna give that up, huh?”
“It’s only fair since you keep mentioning that goddamn sock—“
“Gator? You know fleshlights are a thing, right? Can I get you one? I’m gonna get you one.” You’re grinning at the deadpan glare he gives. “Guarantee that’s gotta feel better than a fucking sock. Wool can’t feel good on your—”
Again, he interrupts you, “You’re never gon’ give up being a brat, I guess.” His hands are pressed against your back, pushing your body closer to his, as if there’s any space left between the two of you.
“Like you said,” Your lips are barely touching when you use his words, “Someone’s gotta fuck the brat outta me, right?.”
He laughs into a kiss that’s short and sweet. “You’re my brat, though, yeah?”
“Yeah,” You grin before kissing him again. “Always.”
“Wouldn’t promise always yet, I know I’m still on thin ice.” He’s aware one week together wouldn’t fix everything magically.
“Until further notice?”
“Now that just makes it sound like a job.”
“Brattin’ is a full time job, y’know.” You smirk, kissing along his jawline. “Someone’s gotta keep ya’ busy so you don’t get into real trouble.” He involuntarily gasps as you move down his neck, gritting his teeth as your lips drag against his skin, with your teeth gently scraping every so often.
It’s subtle, you almost miss it, but he flexes his hips upwards into you, movements more deliberate when the friction reaches your core. It provokes you to paw at his chest while you start to tenderly suck on his neck
Then, Gator remembers your face wound, “Wait, wait, wait.” He’s pushing you back, and you begin feeling rejection, or worry that you’re not making him feel good, but he’s checking the temporary bandage holding your wound from seeping open again. Relief pushes the fear of rejection away.
“Before anythin’ else, lemme clean it for ya’, okay?” He gets up, heading for the door, and you follow him, clutching your head as dizziness catches up to you. “Darlin’, you can stay in bed, it’s okay. I’ll go get the first aid kit—“
“Mama didn’t raise no quit—“ You pause and chuckle, while he feels bad as he stifles a laugh, “— never mind, she didn’t raise me at all.” You’re pushing past Gator towards the bathroom, and he follows.
“Jumpin’ into the dark humor already? Damn.” He’s trying his best to hold his face straight, but you poke at the corners of his mouth, pushing upward into a smile.
“You can laugh, I promise.” You’re glancing around as you back off of him, playing I-spy with the clutter in his bathroom. It’s not terrible, or filthy, just random things left about in spots you wouldn’t find them normally; you’re baffled as to why there’s a bottle of engine oil on the floor by the shower. Glancing up at him, you quirk a brow, “Gator, do you even have a first aid kit?”
“Yeah! I do…” He’s glancing around, confidence in his answer fading fast. “… I think.”
“Last time ya’ saw it?”
“…….. Good question.” Gator shrugs with an apologetic smile, despite the look you’re shooting him. “There’s gotta be bandaids somewhere in here.” He’s pulling cabinets open, murmuring, “No… not there…. No— oh, that’s where my spare keys went!”
You sigh dramatically, sitting on the bathroom counter. “Gator, do you ever clean?”
“Not as much as I’d like to,” He’s pulling things out of the medicine cabinet, whispering a small but victorious “yes!” when he finds a box of butterfly bandages, slapping the box on the counter’s surface. Continuing to look, he finishes, “Kinda hard when Roy has me cleanin’ all his fuckin’ messes.”
Your lips pursed together as you watch him, wondering just exactly what kind of messes Roy got him into.
You weren’t dense; you knew he had hurt people in the past, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he killed someone, too. That alone should be a hard line for you to never, ever cross, but everything is so much more complex than it seems. It’s troubling and conflicting for you; you aren’t making excuses. You could never make excuses.
The only choices Gator has are to clean up his act, or continue down the path his father forced him down, so, so long ago. The decision’s up to him. Things can only go up from here, and whatever the circumstances may be between you both, you can only hope and encourage him to be the best version of himself from here on out. Not just for you, or this relationship, but for his own well being and future, too.
“Okay, I think I found enough stuff to treat it.” He’s still murmuring, like he’s talking to himself as he washes his hands. “C’mere,” It’s a gentle order, one that you follow with ease, tilting your head up and to the side, flashing the haphazardly placed bandage over the gash. “Jesus…” Gator doesn’t mean to react out loud, but in the light, it’s clear it was more than just a quick swipe of your father’s hand against your face; that alone is still bad, but your face is bruising around the wound’s edges. There’s an array of colors blooming around the laceration; blues and purples, mostly, but Gator knows they’ll turn a sickly yellow and green before fading completely.
“How bad is it?” You ask; you weren’t able to bring yourself to look closely in the mirror. You didn’t want to see the results of your father’s unjustified anger. Not now, at least. Gator hesitates answering, brows knitting together as he focuses on removing the old bandage gently, along with the original ones Karen applied after the abuse occurred.
He avoids your question completely, not wanting to upset you further. “Bad news…. I only got rubbin’ alcohol to clean it.” He’s studying the pencil thin lines of reds and pinks, expanding away from the source of pain; they jitter and jolt harshly, like lightning bolts, fading out like spider webs. “We got soap, but I don’t got any antibiotics or anythin’.”
“Wait, is it bad to use rubbing alcohol?” You gasp while turning to him, thinking back to the first night together, when you cleaned out the tiny wounds he earned kneeling on the broken lamp. You used rubbing alcohol to clean the cuts after removing the shards, but now you’re worried and second guessing.
“Yeah, it’s not like… the worst thing, it still cleans it, but I read it makes it harder to heal or somethin’. Takes longer.”
“You read?”
Gator narrows his eyes your way teasingly; he knows you’re joking. “Anyway, yeah. Shouldn’t be the first choice.”
“Fuck, I used that on your cuts—“
“And they still healed, no infections.” Gator assures, gently turning your head to the side again. He cleans the dried blood with water and a cotton pad as best as possible. “I’m grateful ya’ helped at all… and it’s nice when ya’ think about it… you’re a lil’ rusty at this. All things considered, that’s not so bad. Means you’ve been safe since leavin’, y’hadn’t had to rely on fixin’ up your own wounds.”
You don’t cry, but his point makes you emotional, skin shivering over his thoughtful view. “Since when are you lookin’ on the bright side?”
“Think some pain in my ass has been an influence on me lately…” His tongue sticks out of the corner of his mouth ever so slightly, pulling back as he throws the now-tinted reddish-brown wad of cotton into the sink. Grabbing a clean piece of cotton and the rubbing alcohol, he takes a deep breath before asking, “You gonna be brave for me?”
It’s been years, at least over a decade, since you heard Gator ask you that question. It was common when you were younger; you became your father’s punching bag early in life, whereas your best friend became your personal nurse. Over time, you learned how to tend to your wounds on your own, but Gator was the one that taught you the basics. As kids, you were both terrified of the damage adults could unleash, but he always held strong on the outside as he helped you, and always encouraged you to be strong, too.
You nod slowly, bracing yourself for the sting of the liquid. Cleaning a wound is not the worst pain you’ve ever felt, clearly, but it’s the sting that reminds you of how you were hurt to begin with as it lingers. The healing process. Everything becomes a reminder; even if the damage heals, you’re left ripping open the emotional wound when you begin to spiral. This time, you barely have hope, but it’s still there; you’re feeling a little more at ease with him helping than trying to tackle this alone.
Gator reaches around your head, pulling you towards him to kiss your temple quickly. “Tell me if you need a break, okay?”
Again, you nod, firmer this time. Gator pours rubbing alcohol onto the cotton before beginning to clean the skin around the cut. Some liquid seeped into the valley of the wound, and you hiss at the burn.
“M’sorry, darlin’.” He always hated this when you were kids, and he’s not a fan now. Helping you? Not a problem. He’d do it in a heartbeat. Never hated caring for you. But… Helping you keep a wound your abusive father gave you from becoming infected? Different story. “Deep breath f’me.”
You do as he says, screwing your eyes shut as you steel yourself for the burn. When the liquid makes its rough entrance, you’re biting your lip, holding your breath.
“Y’gotta breathe, baby.”
Forcing yourself to exhale, a whimper of pain slips out too. “Fuck, it’s been awhile.”
“What did Karen use on this?”
“No clue, but it was a lot kinder— fuck—“ He’s trying his best to keep a feathery touch as he cleans the blood up. “— t- than this.”
“I’ll run out and grab somethin’ kinder,'' Gator mumbles, keeping his focus on your cut, but he’s simultaneously keeping an eye on you, too. “Can’t now, though, it’s only midnight.”
“Shit, really? I’m sorry I woke—“
“Every time y’say sorry when you shouldn’t, I’m gonna spank ya’.” He’s joking, but you become stiff under his touch, and he realizes what he said wasn’t appropriate right now. “Shit. Sorry. I shouldn’t have- I wouldn’t actually—“
Eyes still clamped shut, you relax under his touch again, and he sighs softly, relieved. “Don’t be. I … I don’t think I can do impact play for a while… I know we haven't tried it together yet, but I- I think I gotta keep it off limits for awhile.”
Gator stops, tilting your gaze back to his as he pauses cleaning your face. “We don’t have to do anythin’ for a while. Or ever. If you ain’t comfy with somethin’, don’t ever be afraid to tell me. A lot of it’s all new t’me.”
You nod, silently relieved. Not that you thought he’d push boundaries while you’re not doing well, but it helps to hear him verbalize it.
“Same to you, y’know. Anything. Ever. If I ever say or do anything you don’t like, tell me. Please. Okay?”
“Yes ma’am.” He tilts your face again, cleaning the last of the stubborn blood and fibers from his shirt he used earlier. You’re growing used to the burning sensation, but it doesn’t hurt any less.
“Anything… if it’s rougher or new for either of us, we gotta talk ‘bout it first. Deal?”
Gator doesn’t skip a beat when he agrees, “Deal.”
It’s quiet for a moment, just some small, weakly muffled whimpers here and there, with Gator’s soft breathing filling in the blanks. Finally, he throws the last used cotton pad aside. “Done. Well, we’re done with the hard part. Gon’ bandage this up and you’re good to go, baby.”
He begins to apply butterfly bandages across the open skin, his touch infinitely more soothing compared to the rubbing alcohol.
“Gator?”
“Yeah?”
“… I think m’still okay with spankin’, though.”
Pulling back after the last bandage sticks perfectly, he pulls back, scanning your features as you face him again.
“Y’sure?”
“Yeah. And if anythin’ changes, I’ll tell ya’. Promise.”
“Alright.” Gator disposes of the used supplies before turning back to you. “Not now, though. You need more rest, and I was just jokin’ anyway.”
“I don’t need more rest right now.” You know he’s caring for you and your needs first, but you wish he’d stop being a decent person for five seconds and pick up what the two of you started in his room. “I need to forget everythin’ that happened last night. I need you.”
Gator smirks softly, “While I’m honored, and I wish I could make you completely forget, it’s not smart or safe to tonight,” he spreads your legs, only to stand closer to you as he holds you close, “I don’t feel comfortable doing anything to ya’ right now, not while you’re goin’ through so much.”
Your first reaction is to pout, but you stop yourself. Even if you want him right now, he’s not comfortable, and you don’t want to make him feel worse. “Yeah… I respect that. Thanks for lookin’ out for me, Gator. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”
“Y’know, m’glad we can talk about this stuff.” He murmurs, face buried in your hair. “I don’t ever want to make ya’ feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Just want ya’ to feel loved, ‘cause ya’ are.” Distancing a bit, he kisses the top of your head before stepping back, hand held out for you. You grab it, using his grasp to balance as you slowly slide off the counter; Gator leads you back to bed, asking, “Hey… don’t feel pressured to agree to it… but can I wake ya’ up tomorrow?”
You know what he’s asking, and playfully smirk. “Yeah… I’m cool with that.”
————
Normally, you’re not the heaviest sleeper, but after the previous night, your body couldn’t get enough rest. Gator almost feels guilty trying to wake you up, but you’ve slept a good eight or nine hours straight through; probably the first normal amount of sleep at a decent time within the past week together.
Gator can’t help admiring how serene you look while you’re asleep; your pouty lips are parted ever so slightly as the untouched side of your face is snug against a pillow, smushing your face into the fluff. You’re cozy and calm, with your arms wrapped around one of his. Every so often, you make little hums, stirring before settling again.
Even though Gator was firm about not taking advantage of your vulnerability, what you initiated, after asking him first, he was more than fine with. Before falling asleep, the two of you got handsy with one another, though it never led to either’s release; it was carefree and mind numbing. Gator checked in multiple times with you, asking if you were okay, if it was alright to touch you, and so on. Each time you answered with the sweetest smile that you were fine with things.
Shortly after you tore off the sweatshirt you stole from him, your eyes fluttered shut, unable to even attempt to open them with all of the exhaustion. Gator held you close until he fell asleep, too.
Remembering all of that, his eyes wander down your body, pausing on the cute, black sheer bra you have on. Usually you don’t sleep in bras, but that had no chance to cross your mind before you zonked out. It’s a little snug on you, but he likes the way your soft, plushy curves spill over the cups just a bit. Your piercings are visible through the sheer fabric; it’s a casual, small detail that’s sending his thoughts spinning.
It also drives Gator to palm your breast, thumbing over the sensitive, pebbled skin, flicking lazily at the little barbell jewelry. You hum, huffing weakly just over the subtle touch. He was hoping to take his other arm back from your grasp, but you’re tightening your fingers around his bicep, leaving small crescent indents from your nails.
The reaction you give to that tiny action has Gator riled up already, but he reminds himself he wants to take his time to make you feel good. He languidly kisses along your jawline, avoiding your facial injury as best as he can, making his way to your neck as his hand still works at your chest. Another hum bubbles up from your chest, but it comes out as a whiny, needy groan instead. The vibration from the sound on Gator’s lips against your neck tickles him as he wanders down to the junction of your neck and shoulder. He sucks at a specific spot, one he’s taken notice of that you’re very sensitive in. He could do this all morning, pulling these sweet, fragile noises out of you; it’d be more than enough for him, but his craving to pleasure you is greater than his own desires right now.
You turn back towards him, hips fidgeting, searching for something to satisfy the ache and loneliness between your thighs. In one swift movement, Gator kisses down to your chest, dragging your bra down under your tits with his teeth before he latches onto you; his hand gingerly slides down to your core, slipping between your thighs. He makes a breathy, shuddered noise around your nipple at the feeling of how warm and wet you already are.
The movement makes you buck into his palm, where he adds pressure to your clit over the fabric of panties that match your bra; you squirm against his hand, dragging your slick along his palm. It’s taking everything within Gator not to pull back and lick off the excess arousal, so he keeps himself busy, tongue flicking at your piercing, with his teeth every so often clashing against the metal.
You let go of Gator’s arm, tangling your fingers in his hair where the styling gel lost its hold by now, pressing him closer into your chest. He looks up, and you’re still asleep. There’s a look of agonized pleasure on your features; mouth parting open as your breaths pick up into gasps, brows knitting together while your back arches, pushing yourself even closer into his face. Gator doesn’t bother holding back a groan as your pace picks up against his hand, grinding with a frenzied hope you’ll reach your high soon. You’re still asleep and unaware; Gator knows by now how you look and act when you’re asleep, but he never thought you could be so active when aroused and knocked out.
Still trying his best to be careful and gentle, he slowly pushes you onto your back, hand still between your thighs, mouth still on your nipple, and you stir, murmuring something under your breath. You’re panting softly while Gator switches sides, suckling on the neglected nipple, pinching and tweaking and flicking the other with his free hand.
Whimpers leave you louder than before, and though Gator loves teasing you, he’s trying to be good right now; his mouth leaves your skin, kissing down your soft tummy while rolling the thin straps of your underwear down your legs. You’re soaked, which isn’t surprising, but it gets Gator just as hard as the first time. He can feel himself leaking through his boxers already.
The softest “oh” escapes you as he’s leaving open mouthed, slow kisses along your folds, sucking gently at your swollen clit. That’s what begins to pull your eyes open, and as you awaken, Gator has his arms hooked under your legs, humming around your clit before he drags his nose down your core. You yelp, in a haze of pleasure and sleepiness, when he starts fucking his tongue into you; you can’t help from riding ever so slightly along the firm slope of his nose. He encourages it, pushing his face into you, which only makes his tongue delve deeper, earning a soft cry from you.
You finally glance down, watching Gator look back at you from between your legs; the sight alone is nearly enough to send you over the edge. You’re so needy, feeling so sensitive and dizzy. “… Gator?” You rasp out.
Gator smirks into your skin, sliding back up your folds to work on your clit again, fingers swapping places with his tongue inside of you. “Yeah?” He’s lapping at your bundle of nerves, and you can feel heat building up within you.
“Hi,” Is all you can think to rasp out; it’s small, needy, and makes Gator chuckle into your skin. That just makes you gasp as you grab onto his head, bucking against his mouth.
“Hi, darlin’.” He’s pulling back, causing you to whine in protest; his fingers still keep on, though. Spit follows his lips from your cunt, causing you to tighten around his fingers. “Lil’ spit slut,” Gator teases, but it just makes you clench again.
“C’mere,” You’re panting desperately while he moves up your body, and you’re grabbing at him wherever you can to pull him up faster; his fingers still within you, he begins slowing to a taunting pace.
“What’s up b—“ You cut Gator off, kissing him roughly, tongue dancing against his with ease from the mix of your slick with his spit in his mouth. He shudders a moan into you, fingers in your cunt losing any rhythm left. When you pull back, you’re the one looking pathetic, for once. “Open that pretty mouth, darlin’.” You do, sticking your tongue out; Gator holds your tongue out between his thumb and forefinger firmly in place, forcing out a thick string of spit onto your tongue. He moves his grasp onto the untouched side of your face, watching you swallow as his thumb grazes back and forth along your cheek. “Good girl,” his praise is low, gravelly, but still earns a smile from you all the same.
“You said you’re still alright with spankin’?”
Dumbly, you nod in a lust filled daze. “Mhm.”
“Flip over,” he orders, pulling his fingers out as you do. You whine again, feeling empty. “Can y’be patient for me?”
You shake your head ‘no’. “Why not, angel?”
“I need somethin’…”
Gator’s concerned, moving to look at you; the safe side of your face is on the bed as you’re laying on your belly. “You okay? Should we stop?”
Again, you shake your head. “What is it?”
“I- I’m… there’s a toy I want,” You murmur, shy unexpectedly. “Can we use it?”
Gator nods, kissing your temple before moving to your bag. “In here?”
“There’s a- um- there’s a hidden pocket, it’s in the zip pouch, inside the flap—“
Gator’s scrambling, hand landing on something small within the hidden pocket; he pulls it out, recognizing immediately what it is, blood rushing south.
“I- is it- is this what y’—“ He moves back to you, holding up a shiny, silver plug, with a cute little heart shaped gem at the end. “This?”
You smile bashfully, “Mhm.”
Gator wants to ask why on Earth did you bring several toys with you on this trip, but simply asks, “… You sure?”
“Only if you are, but it’s okay if—“
He’s quick, a little too eager to answer, “Yes. Absolutely.”
“Ever use one before on someone else?” Dumbfounded, he shakes his head in response. “It’s easy, but y’gotta go slow, okay?”
“Can y’tell me what to do?” Gator asks, voice trembling a little. He’s so aroused by this but nervous, too. “I’ve, uh… never used toys with someone… not there. Don’t wanna hurt ya’.”
You giggle at his nervous energy, not laughing at him, but it’s sweet that he wants to get it right. You reach for a pillow, shoving it under your hips, tilting your ass up and out for easier access.
Once more, you remind him, “If you’re not comfortable, we can stop.”
“Jus’ a lil’ nervous… but I’m more than fine with this, darlin’.”
“It’s just like usin’ fingers, gotta prep first, ‘kay?” You purr, giving him an encouraging look before burying your head into another pillow. “You won’t hurt me, promise. If ya’ do, y’know I’ll like it.”
“Yeah…” He trails off, thoughts spinning over your last comment as he ends up behind you again. He can’t take his eyes off of your dripping core. “… gotta do somethin’ first, though.” He murmurs, hands on your backside before he ducks down, mouth on you all over again. Yelping, you turn, neck craning to get a better view; the sight of Gator eating you out, plus the sensation of his ministrations make your eyes roll back, face falling back into the pillow.
You’re not expecting him to lick a stripe upwards, tongue trailing around your tight hole. It makes your knees weak, legs threatening to collapse, but he holds you up without interruption to the filthy act he started. Leaning back, he spits onto the taut ring before continuing to tease with his tongue; his fingers explore your cunt again, rubbing soft, slow circles onto your clit.
“Gator, what the fuck?” You breathe, looking back again. He’s worried he did something wrong, and stops. Frantic, you elaborate, “N- no, keep going, I just—“ He continues, making your brain melt before you can finish your thought. “Where the fuck did you learn how to do this? Any of this? Jesus fuck.”
“‘Member the story I told ya’?” He answers huskily in between motions, “Why I can’t go back to church?”
“Uh-huh…” Again, your face buries into the pillow, muffling your moans. Gator pulls back again, leaning forward and over you to pull your hair lightly, exposing your face again. You’re whining at the mess of sensations gripping his fingers inside of you. The thought of fucking around in a church, of all fucking places in the world, with Gator, does something to the ex-Catholic in you.
“Pastor’s daughter wasn’t as innocent as her daddy thought,” He’s traveling back down your body, he releases his grip on your hair, spitting again on your hole again. “Sure wasn’t as sweet as you, darlin’.” You’re gasping as he tapers his tongue into you, fingers matching the pace. He’s melting you into a subby, pliable wreck; you’d do anything he asked of you right now.
Brief spasms roll through you, and you’re giving into the urgent craving of more stimulation, trying to grind down onto the pillow you placed under yourself. Gator digs his grip into your ass, preventing you from grinding as he holds you in place. He pulls back again, removing his fingers, too. You’re furious at the sudden halt.
“Gator, seriously?!” You’re irritated, wishing you could feel some kind of friction against your clit, at least. A loud slap echoes in the room, followed by an aching sting on your backside. You turn again as the sting is smoothed over with his soft, kneading touch. You’re not as bold when you whimper out, “Why’d you stop?”
Gator doesn’t answer, just leans over you again, hand pulling your head back by the front of your throat. “Open.” You’re a little delayed in catching on, so he gently thumbs at your bottom lip. “I barely did anythin’ to ya’, how the hell are you spaced out already?” You open your mouth to answer, but he shoves your underwear between your lips, gagging you before you can speak. “Can you stay still and quiet for me? Or are y’gonna be a brat?”
His gaze locks on yours, narrowing your eyes back at him before spitting the fabric back out. “What d’you think?” Gator pushes your head out of his grip; you let your body collapse onto the bed with another whine, unsatisfied and still riled up.
Gator’s rummaging through a drawer somewhere, you’re too tired with a sour attitude to bother looking where he is, grumbling with disappointment. “Come onnnnnn, Gator. Let it go. We’re both too—“
“Up. Now.”
“No, I’m good here.”
“Yeah, I know you are, fuckin’ pillow princess.” He spanks you again, and you scoff, turning around to give him a piece of your mind, but any comebacks die before they even make it to your throat as your eyes land on him.
Gator’s wearing the camo pants you stole from him last week to enrage him and wind him up, and his work boots. There’s a bundle of satin black rope in his balled up fist that he throws onto the bed. He crouches down to the side of the bed you’re on, hand slipping gently into yours.
“You doin’ alright? Need anythin’?” You’ve been convinced he’s more of a sub than he realizes, but you’re impressed and taken aback at how good he is at taking care of you like a dom. You shake your head; it’s not enough to convince him. “We can stop. Or change direction, or whatever makes you feel good, darlin’. Gotta say it, though.”
“Um… remember last night I asked if you could make me forget everything? Even for a lil’ while?”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yeah, just… I need it outta my head for a bit.” You gulp. Gator nods as he stands, fingers running through your hair in a soothing touch. “Can you behave?” The question makes you shrug playfully, the kind of reaction he expects. “C’mon, on the floor.”
“What’s the rope for?” You slide off the bed, kneeling in front of him, never breaking eye contact.
“Somethin’ else, baby. Can you multitask for me?”
“I guess.”
Gator leans down to you, squishing your face in his grip, again, avoiding your wound. His fingers are pushing your lips into a pout. “You’re the one who asked for a distraction.” He points out, and you’re sighing, defeated before your brat battle can even start.
“Yeah, fine. I can.” You glare as he lets go of your face, straightening up while unzipping his pants. It’s subtle, but you lick your lips, a subconscious reaction at this point whenever he’s exposed.
He slides a boot between your legs, nudging them open further while he frees himself, throbbing with desire already.
“You want me to—“
“I mean, if you don’t want to grind against something, we can stop.” Gator begins to slide his leg away, but you tug back, earning a quirked brow from him.
Shaking your head in a frenzy, you shift closer, sitting on the firm, leather material. It’s definitely not the softest thing you’ve felt on your clit, but it’s better than not being able to get off at all. Your hips roll carefully, unsure if it would hurt at first; it’s slightly rough, but it doesn’t feel bad. You can’t tell if it feels good because it actually feels good, or if you’re just that goddamn insatiable right now.
Gator has you subservient, ready to obey whatever orders he gives.
“If you needa’ stop and can’t talk, just, I dunno, punch my leg, or somethin’, got it?” You giggle at his suggestion but nod anyway. Carding fingers through your hair, he checks in again, “Hey, if this hurts,” He’s pointing to the injury, “you tell me, okay? Don’t want it splittin’ open again.”
“I got somethin’ else you could split open,” You tease, taking him in entirely at once. Gator sucks in a breath while your sly comment earns a firm movement between your legs; he’s pushing the top of his boot against your clit, causing your whimper to be strangled by his cock down your throat.
It takes a bit to find a steady pace and balance that works for you between grinding and sucking, but once you do, your thoughts begin floating away. No pain, no sadness, only you and Gator matter in this moment right now.
“You always take me so well, darlin’.” His praise drives you to push yourself fully onto his cock, tongue flat and broad on the underside, while his tip gags the back of your throat as precum drips out. While your mouth bobs on him, he’s mesmerized by how pretty your lips look around him. He thinks back to the night you two played that drinking game, how you took swigs of tequila straight from the bottle, and how blood rushed to his dick from the sight alone of how your pout puckered around something while occupied.
Gator’s hips stutter, causing you to gag as he thrusts unexpectedly. You pull back, lips swollen and red, practically drooling onto yourself while you try to keep pleasuring yourself, too. He notices the way his boot glistens when you grind back and forth, wondering if this would ruin the material for a moment, before realizing he doesn’t care, not one bit. Seeing you blissed out from humiliation is causing him to chase his climax faster than he wanted to.
You glide your tongue along the underside of his shaft, hand following to stroke him while you suck his balls slowly, humming as you do. The sensation makes him lightheaded; he grabs your hair for something to hold onto, but it’s not enough to steady him.
“Fuck… look at you, greedy lil’ thing…” Gator’s head falls back as you glide your tongue back up his shaft, sucking on the head while your tongue flits the top, collecting the salty arousal in your mouth before blowing him again. Your cheeks hollow out as your fingers play with his balls; Gator’s trying his best to not collapse on the spot, dirty talk still flowing, “See? All y’needed to stop brattin’ was your mouth filled up, make ya’ dumb by fuckin’ your face. You’re practically an angel when ya’ can’t talk. All that chokin’ and gaggin’ will do ya’ some good.”
Your body shudders over his words, your high rippling through you as you keep your pace, both with your hips and your mouth, but your repetitions begin to falter. You can’t help drooling around his cock while soaking the hard leather between your thighs.
“That’s right, cum on that boot like the filthy brat you are.” He’s watching you fall apart, eyes rolling back as you’re moaning around him. His face flushes red as he starts coming undone immediately after. You barely have a chance to relax as you come down from your high before he’s roughly fucking your face, letting out a low, gravelly groan; both of his hands are on your head, keeping you in place. You try to pull back, but he refuses to let go. “Just a lil’ longer, darlin’, you can do it.”
Tears well up in your eyes, and with one look up at Gator in this state, he’s gone, releasing into your mouth while your name falls from his lips. “Fuck, y’look so pretty when you cry.” The praise makes your stomach flutter as you swallow the thick saltiness on your tongue. Gator pulls out, trying to catch his breath; you move off of him, climbing onto the bed before pulling him on top of you.
He wraps his strong arms around you, still panting along with you. Little fleeting kisses are scattered across your face, then, he remembers your injury, sitting up with worry. “Baby, turn your head for me.” As you do, his gaze falls onto the small droplets of blood on the sheets. They’re fresh. His eyes dart back to you; it’s not bleeding like it did in the middle of the night, but it’s enough to send him into panic, again.
Gator jumps up from the bed, forgetting his pants were still around his ankles; he stumbles into the dresser, but catches himself in time before making his next destination on the floor. You’re leaning up, arms propped up on the bed behind you, giggling at everything. A little blood dribbles down your jaw from the cut, and Gator’s scrambling to untie his boots and get his pants off— a more logical idea would be pulling the pants back on, but his mind’s definitely clouded post climax.
“Fuckin’ hell, Gator. We’re a mess.” You rasp out, throat a little sore. He manages to get everything off, running to the bathroom before coming back, arms full of the random first aid items he has. He throws them onto the bed haphazardly before jumping back onto the mattress, turning your head.
“Why didn’t you tell me it was hurtin’?” Gator’s applying pressure, soaking up the small amount of blood. “You coulda’ stopped me.”
“Yeah, but it’s been hurtin’ since it happened. Thought I was just cryin’, that’s all. It’s okay.”
Gator gives you a stern look as he cleans the dried blood off again, while peeling back the bandages. “It won’t heal if you don’t let it.”
“I know, it just felt good makin’ you feel good.” You answer, still dazed and blissed out. “You’re funny, as soon as we’re done fuckin’ around, you turn into the safety police.”
“‘Cause I don’t want to hurt you. Fuck, I said y’look pretty when you cry, that wasn’t— god, m’such a fuckin’ moron,” Gator’s cursing and wincing at himself. His voice softens before he murmurs, “Gotta be brave again, okay, darlin’?”
“Okay. And y’know that was fine to say, right? It was kinda sweet in a fucked up way, and I know what we say to each other in bed doesn’t leave scenes.” You answer, distracting yourself from the initial sting with a follow up, “If you hurt me, it’s okay, y’know. If it’s part of a scene, you know I like it.”
Gator’s quiet as the burn of the rubbing alcohol gets harder to ignore.
“Do you not like it?” You ask, worried, turning your head sharply to search his expression. “Fuck, we don’t have to do anything, I’m so sorry if I made you un—“
“No, we’re usually on the same page… turn your head back,” You follow his order, and he continues disinfecting the wound. “I just think after last night, I’m havin’ a hard time separating the pain you went through and when you ask for it consensually. I know the difference between the two, but my mind keeps yellin’ at me that it’s wrong.”
“Then we can stop. We don’t ever have to even touch the harder stuff ever again.”
Gator shakes his head, opening new bandages, “Just give me a lil’ while, is that okay?”
“Of course, it’s always okay to stop if you need time. Or stop completely.”
“No… I like learnin’ new things from ya’, and exploring this kinda stuff. I wouldn’t want it with anyone else.” Gator’s determined to keep his touch light while he places butterfly bandages on your face again. “But I also love you, and wanna show that. I wanna protect ya’.”
“Gator, you already and continue to show me these things. You make me feel protected. We can take things slower if that’s easier.”
“It’d be hard, but right now at least, I- I-“
“Hey, it’s okay,” You’re hugging him tightly. “Do you need anythin’? You wanna just chill the rest of the day? Or do you need space? I can give you space, no problem.”
Gator hugs back in the way you love most, where he settles his head on top of yours, shielding you from everything wrong in your life when he wraps his arms around you.
“I appreciate ya’ askin’, angel. But I’m okay, and I should be taking care of you right now anyway.”
You’re shaking your head, still pressed against his chest. “Drops can happen for doms, too.”’
“I didn’t know that, but I promise, I’m okay right now. Thank you for lookin’ out for me.” Gator gathers the first aid supplies after letting you go, mindlessly tossing them onto a random surface in his room.
“I know we just woke up… and we were gonna keep going, but I’m so tired. Is it okay if I rest my eyes a little?”
“‘Rest your eyes’ okay, old lady.” Gator lightly teases, throwing some clean clothes on. “You can sleep, it’s okay. I… I have somethin’ I gotta do, are you okay with me leavin’ for a bit?”
“You’ll come back, right? Aren’t you afraid of your dad?” You don’t mean for the uncertainty and anxiety to be so bold in your question, but Gator can tell you’re worried.
“Honestly, terrified,“ He’s quick to answer, afraid to even speak it into existence, even if he’s always been afraid of Roy. “You’ll be safe here, promise.” You know he can’t promise that, and he can tell you’re not buying it. Gator asks, “I didn’t get to show ya’ gun safety stuff… but, you want one, just in case?”
“Your whole place is filled with them, so I’m good. Not like I’d know how to use one.” You cringe and shake your head. “Still scared of them, anyway.”
With brows raised and a scoff, Gator laughs at your logic, “But you want to try gun pl—“
“Totally different! Besides—“
Groaning as you get up, you lean over the bed to dig through your backpack, pulling out the tiniest knife, flicking it open to show Gator; it has a pastel pink handle, serrated edges, and the words ‘Mean Bitch’ engraved on the blade.
“— I’ll be okay, I have my knife in case!”
“Does that really say—“
“Shut up, I thought it was cute.” You grumble playfully, but curiosity sets in, with a hint of worry. “Where are you going?”
“Well, y’need better stuff for that cut, and the rest is a… surprise.” Gator grins at you, adding to your suspicions of what this ‘surprise’ is. He leans in to kiss your forehead before heading for the door. “I’ll be back, my phone’s on if ya’ need.”
As he’s about to leave, you softly call out, “Gator?”
“What’s up?” He stops, full attention on you, looking you over, making sure everything’s alright, at least for the moment.
Bunching up the blankets around your shoulders and curling into them, you smile, “I love you.”
Everything feels so unsure in this moment, hanging on the edge of whatever’s about to break next, between the fear of retaliation from either of your fathers, or how he’s going to handle the heartbreak of you leaving the next day. Everything feels unsure, except you.
Despite it all, with ease, he responds with sincerity, “Love y’too, darlin’.”
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aphroditesmoon · 1 year
Note
Do you have any SFW and NSFW headcanons for dating Tommy?
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tommy miller x reader
warnings: pregnancy, nsfw under the cut, pre/post-outbreak mixed.
a/n: ah so real, my underrated baby
°°°
(sfw)
- first off, let me just tell y'all that tommy is 100% the the of man to try and woo you by overdoing 'manly things'.
- like carrying 4 boxes at the same time (he tripped and fell but got back up like a champ🫶), purposely answering his door shirtless and leaning on the doorframe to flex his bod.
- but of course what really made you fall for him was the way he has your coffee order engraved in his memory, how he worries over you and gives you a call when he notices you leaving an event or part early.
- he's just a giant softie at heart.
- he also took it to himself to teach you how to use a gun after seeing how shit ur aim is after the outbreak.
- "It's like a watergun right? you just point and shoot." of course, waterguns aren't as heavy as guns and rifles, which you soon learned.
- he absolutely adores it when he's sitting down, reading a book or using his computer and you'll be sitting on his lap, head buried on the crook of his neck, and he can feel your warm steady breath.
- He never tells you this but when he's holding you close while being tense and anxious, he likes to count the breaths you inhale and exhale to help calm himself down.
- is the WORST COOK !!! the best meal you've ever had by him was an air-fried chicken nuggets.
- Is however very generous in buying you snacks.
- they type of guy to buy you 20 boxes of Oreos after you tell him it's taste nice once.
- very overprotective after the outbreak, even after safely moving into Jackson.
- he tries not to be overbearing about it though, like he'll just talk to you through the walkie talkies while you're on patrol, keeps your shifts hours in a notepad to remember when you finish work, asking to be paired up with you for patrol, etc.
- when you both found out that you were pregnant however...
- no patrols at all, he's carrying you wherever you need to go, and god forbids he had to be away from you for more than 15 minutes.
- will talk to your belly, but instead of being all sweet and lovey about it, he'll just start cracking the worst dad jokes in existence and starts laughing at his own jokes, shoving his face onto your belly while cackling his ass off.
-----
(nsfw)
- the things I want to do to this man
- he loves it when you're pulling his hair, it's a big indicator that he's doing a good job tbh.
- like you could be pulling his roots out of his head and he'll just start pulling your legs wider apart, thrusting his cock harder.
- as much as he loves it when you're scratching and grabbing him, his favourite position is when you're face down and ass up with your hands tied at your back.
- it turns him on so much to see you a begging mess in front of him completely a his mercy while he's fucking you from behind.
- secretly wants to try anal but would never bring it up and says no even when you're the one bringing it up, mostly because he doesn't want to hurt you.
- lactation kink after having a baby bcs idk man, u see the guy? he's definitely a tittysucker. (I'd go into details in a fic or sumn if u want but I'm in a depressive episode rn LMA//OAOAO 😭)
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silviakundera · 1 month
Text
Did a speedrun through modern cdrama Everyone Loves Me because I'm a fan of both leads. A fairly well constructed romcom for a specific trope, AND also one of the most valid examples of the critique that cdrama storylines are pointlessly over-extended. This would have been a great modern drama at 12 episodes. Unfortunately, it's at least 10 episodes too long. The literal gaming (characters interacting while playing videogames) is very light - it's an initiating plot device piece but doesn't consume much actual screen time. The real genre is IT workplace romance with Hidden Identity trope.
Do you like:
* Capable & ambitious female lead x male lead with a competency kink whose turn-offs are white lotus & green tea girls and turn-ons are brash ladies who can cuss you out; dressing up to impress is not required
* Romantic dynamic of equal partners (2 strong personalities, not active/passive)
* "We don't know yet who is going to be the breadwinner. My goal is to be a CEO."
* Low heat (just a few kisses),
* modern workplace dramas (so much working)
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[heavy spoilers below]
The actual set up & outline are:
* Online friend group who casually game together, in the last days of university. One of the guys starts catching feelings for the girl, our FL (let's call him Gamer Friend). FL isn't romantically considering Gamer Friend at all, because she has a crush on a guy from her uni.
* This crush is Gamer Friend in rl! 😮
* ML isn't open to being crushed on by anyone at rl uni, because he is already hung up on FL (as his online friend) 🙈
* FL asks for advice from her gaming buds on how to pursue her rl crush. Gamer Friend doesn't want her to succeed, because he wants to win her heart, so he keeps giving terrible advice to chase him by acting out the soft-spoken innocent maiden archetype (the opposite of FL's real boisterous & brash personality)
* This creates a comedy of errors where ML in rl is being pursued by the woman he's in love with, but he's shooting her down left & right. This culminates in her confessing and he publically rejects her in a harsh manner. When she comes crying (and vengeful) to the group, the guys all realize the identity confusion. Appropriately horrified, bros have no idea what to do. (This whole scene is gold tbh.)
* This plotline covers 7 episodes, but should have been dealt with in 4.
* Next 5 episodes (should have been 2!): Gamer Friend, toiling under karma, tries to be virtually supportive of his beloved while in person desperately making gestures to show remorse & have her less willing to obliterate his RL person. (this is all complicated by them both hired into the same company post-grad; there's a whole gaming dev & art design subplot - like in Lighter & Princess, the writers did the research so the setting is reality-based). This arc ends with identity reveal: she finally knows irl crush = Gamer Friend
* Next 6-7 episodes lead her from being (rightfully) furious and humiliated to them finally becoming friendly & supportive of each other. He waits to ask for more until he feels truly forgiven for the shakespearean hijinks that kept them apart. Includes work drama and fake-dating For Reasons. This arc, again, could have been 3-4 episodes.
* Final 5 episode arc is dating era and culmination of the gaming dev plotline. Heavy emphasis on work drama. Only 2 out of the last 5 episodes had significant romance material for the main couple, which was the major flaw in the drama. Avoided the separation cliche but also no marriage scenes at the end - we just see that they're still close, supportive partners a year later. Should have been 3 episodes ;)
The structure is right for a simple rom com set up of: one party pursues, gets rejected, then the other party pursues & corrects their mistake. The misunderstandings are logical enough; FL is assertive and we see evidence of her talent (not just told); ML likes her for herself & doesn't want a childish, obedient woman like the idol dramas represent; they are shown to make a good team & respect each other; the wronged party isn't a push over and their forgiveness has to be earned. It's clear why they like each other and that they work as a couple. (Though the emphasis is on compatibility & domesticity rather than sexual heat.)
The showrunner just needed to compress each arc and spend a lot less time on corporate minutiae. The way I engage with this type of drama is to binge, skip all 2nd couple scenes, and liberal use of fast forward ⏩⏩.
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aesthetic-is-life · 4 months
Text
GOM Headcanon
Kise
He has very dry skin. He follows his skin care religiously
He has both a huge prize AND degredation kink.
Every thursday he goes to Caribbean dances and has a regular partner for the bachata
He got a degree in something with fashion and marketing. Still working as a model and influencer during the college years.
After he goes works with his sisters in their fashion company
He and Midorima fucked few times between the Teiko and the High school
He's a little bit of a whore (especially at the club half drunk)
Absolutely adores to give orals. Yes let me suck you off sir please
Very good at it
Had a huge crush for Aomine during Teiko, but nothing happened
His romantic relationship never last long (monogamy problem)
He is poly
Feels trapped in a monogamous relationship
Very closed to his sister in the adult age
Vegetarian (vegan at home)
Has a little tattoo for each miracles (like a frog for Midorima, a cherry flower for Momoi..)
Akashi
Lactose intollerant
Aroace King (kise told him about ace people and Midorima confirmed the existence)
Degree in philosophy
Sojio professional player just for saying he has a job (not really need one)
After the winter cup he had pretty bad episodes of depression and eaten alive from his guilt.
But with the power of friendship (Mibuchi had called the miracles for and intervention) and therapy he got better
He would need a heavy session of consensual BDSM (he subs)
He and his dad ignore each other basically
Didn't took well the death of his horse, and after that doesn't want any more pets
He and Midorima suggest books each other
Doesn't drink, but can handle alcool pretty good
He play golf with the mother side of the family
Totally an addicted to
Only the Gom knows that he was diagnoed DID (dissocative identity disorder)
He would be a perfect menwife
Doesn't like to drive
Midorima
Doctor bccouse his daddy told him to
He and Takao got married at some point
His best man was Akashi
His dad was kind of homophobic, but had a change of heart
For each birthday he does the the natal chart of all the Gom + takao and Kagami
Can't hendle alcool (no at all, like half beer and he is WASTED)
Takao is an architect and he designed their house
Doesn't talk before his coffe
Morning person (after the coffe), Takao is not
Still listen to the oroscop every morning and brings the luck item (Takao is forced to have his too)
Has a thing for dirt talk (Takao doesn't complaint)
Still play piano and composes song for Takao
Would like to have a kid or two
Rei Ryugazaki (from free!) are cousins
Every sunday the have a lunch with the over miracles in their home
Aomine
His career in the NBA (because yes he entred) has benn pretty short for injuries
so he come back in Japan and makes the delivery for the flower/ plant shop of Sakurai.
in the US he and kagami lived togher, but they were in diffrent teams
He adoped a dog he found on the side of a road
Really like beers of all kind and flavors
Decent cook
He and Kuroko fucked everywhere in Teiko. But like everywhere, not corridor, bathroom, storege room or class was safe (they enjoyed)
He and Kagami had drunk and angry sex in the US times
Prefers women (boobs)
As an adult he went to therapy and understood what was wrong during the last years in middle school (depression time)
He and Momoi are big fan of horror movies
Very warm person
Can't stand gloves
Kuroko
Cold hands
He and Kagami moved in together, but neither of them belives in marriege
Kuroko would love a cat, but Kagami is allergic
He works in a kindergarten
and come home full of drawings of the kids
Doesn't want to have children though
Exhibitionist kink
Having sex is a park in the middle of the night
Kagami usually cooks and he drives
Brings his kindle everywhere with him
He smokes a little (like two or three cigarette per day)
Murasakibara
Chronic back pain and at the joint because he grew up too fast
Acne and bad skin in general because he eats to much chocolate and sweets in general
Became a pastry chef
He, Himuro and Kagami opened a nice coffe shop
The type with cultural events, book crossing and stuff
Doesn't really like having sex. He finds it really tiring
He and Himuro have an open relationship
Ass eater king. Not a big fan of penetrative sex because he dosent't want to hurt Himuro with his huge cock.
Has a little aquarium and adores stares at the fish
Can't swim
He got diabetes at some point
Momoi
She got a degree in statistic and after a very high paid job
When Baribe went out, she and Kise went all pink
In her highshool years she did something with some girls, but she found it pretty wet. Prefers small and cute boys
Seirously considering breast reduction surgey
She and Sakurai are together
They have an adorable little dog
When Aomine was in US they used to videocall every fucking day
She and Kise are the queens of gossip
Never had smth physical with Kuroko
Very good at videgames (had a youtube chanal)
especially the shooting ones
Wears high heels at work
Adores cherry
Allergic to something stupid like kiwi or apple
During college she made a lot of female friends
Pretty dominant in bed
Good at drawing
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romana-after-dark · 11 months
Text
The Wrong Way: Chapter 8
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Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)
Masterlist
Spotify playlist
Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?
Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction
WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!
I wanna add we're really heavy on the birth/pregnancy, forced birth, choking, domestic violence, threats of hanging and murder. Can't say I didn't warning yuh (unless i missed a warning of course. then please let me know so i cant edit ASAP) Like this is a rough chapter, a lot of violence to a pregnant woman. but I wanna say right now...
The baby will not be harmed in anyway. Baby will be born healthy, and live and have a good life in both the main ending and alt ending.
5k words (sorry not sorry lol)
Also to clarify a few things I guess i didn't make clear enough in previous chapters!
Joel only 'guessed' that Tommy and LO slept together. He had suspicions but thought he could trust Tommy and his 'girlfriend'. When LO rushed to stop Joel from hurting Tommy, that was his 'evidence'. Joel was beating Tommy because he found out about Maria.
Joel only heard part of the conversation between Zach and Little One. Nick said way back in chapter 3 the wall are thinner than she thinks. He didn't know Lorenzo had any part of it, and because LO didn't rat him out, he never will.
Thats my bad for not being clear!
Can you catch the Superstore homage? (aka i rewatched two episodes just to take it line for line lol)
***************
Month 3
No one warned you about morning sickness. 
You knew fuck all about sex before you came to Joel’s, just a thing or two from your friend back at the ranch and how to get a man off with your mouth or hands, but pregnancy and birth was next to nothing. You didn’t even know how pregnancy happened really, other than a penis in a vagina until you asked Tommy early on if you were going to get pregnant. After a very uncomfortable talk for both of you, Tommy explained that Joel told him he pulls out, so you should be good… Lorenzo said you can still get pregnant that way, but thinking back to the night Joel almost killed Tommy and you… Joel finished inside… the timing added up. 
Pregnancy and birth were entirely unknown to you, and you wished someone would just give you a heads up. Joel had a daughter and no doubt had been through at least once pregnancy, and Lorenzo had mentioned 4 of his 6 older sisters got pregnant before leaving the house… something about no sex education, men too old for them, and their religion not believing in birth control or abortion… but you didn’t know what half those words meant, and after Lorenzo mercilessly made fun of you for days about not knowing Joel’s song for you was actually a very famous song, you didn’t dare ask him about the words, or anything with pregnancy. You didn’t want to ask Joel either, not wanting to give away how terrified you were, not wanting him to think you didn’t want to… But you did! You did want this baby, you reminded yourself again and again and again, because Joel was good to you, Joel took care of you, Joel would care for this baby too. You’d be bound to him, and he’d never get tired of you this way, and he wouldn’t hurt the mother of his child, right?
The birth was something you tried not to think about.
So here you were, puking your gut out before you even had breakfast and Joel held your hair back.
“Shhh, shhhhhhh” he coo’d and you heaved, yellow bile and acid coming up from inside you since the little food in your stomach from dinner had been thrown up 5 minuets ago.
With a final spit into the toilet, you sink back and Joel wipes your mouth for you. “I think that’s it.” You mutter, and Joel carries you into your shared bedroom, laying you down with the care of an infant before kissing your forehead. 
“Don’t worry about breakfast, little one. I don’t need anything this morning.” He says before kissing your cheek. But you were worrying about breakfast, because you wanted it… but the only way you’d be getting food is if you made it. Tommy wasn’t here to care for you anymore. “I’ll be gone until the evening, what's for dinner?”
The thought of cooking, the thought of raw meats and the strong smells of spices made you want to vomit again. “I dunno…”
“I think a few of them chickens is ready to be butchered, you ever made chicken parmesan? We got that cheese I brought back yesterday, you could make something like that.”
You groan a bit, exhausted and tired despite being only 3 months in. You didn’t sleep at all last night, nightmares of the past and the future plaguing you. He knew that you didn’t sleep, you had told him… “Joel I can’t, the butchering, I feel so-”
“I’ll make Lorenzo do it.” He promises. “Chicken parmesan it is then?” He decided for you. What he didn’t understand is it wasn’t just butchering a few chickens. To make chicken parm you need chicken breasts, not the rest of it. You didn’t waste meat, so Lorenzo kills (you could do it on a normal day, but not with your heightened smell) then you pluck, clean, Lorenzo butchers, then you have to separate the different parts and put them into hygienic storage and take them to the freezer locker, then thoroughly clean yourself, all the tools and surfaces (and Lorenzo) to prevent illness. It would take hours. But Joel didn’t see that, he only ever saw the food at the end of his day.
“Okay” You agree reluctantly, and he begins kissing your neck and groping you, no doubt wanting a quicky before a long day of unspeakable violence. “Joel, please, I don’t feel good.” You beg him not to, but you learned in the past that this never got far.
His morning breath wasn’t helping anything as he tugged down your shorts. “I’ll be quick.”
You knew what that meant. Joel slid into you with no prep, no lubrication, and it burned. The steady rocking was the last thing you needed right now, and with his head buried in your neck, you covered your mouth as the nausea took over. You threw up, but like everything the last several months, you just swallowed it down again to deal with when Joel was gone. When he came inside (wasn’t he worried about you getting pregnant again?) you quickly pull up your pants and run to the bathroom, pushing past Lorenzo no doubt on his way to babysitting duties with you. 
As he watched you run past and heard the sounds of throwing up, Lorenzo caught Joel’s arm as he brushed past. “Peppermint or ginger. Find it, whatever form it's in. Oils, drops, whatever. If you can find the leaves or the root we can make it into a tea. Just find it, it’ll help her nausea.”
Month 4
“Okay Lorenzo, I got a question for you, and you can’t make fun of me.” You say as you cook, the swell of your belly beginning to show now.
“No guarantees.” He says, sitting his drink. How did he find so much alcohol?
“Fine. Okay… when Joel and I have sex-”
He visibly cringed. “Since when do we talk about our sex lives?” 
“Renzo.”
“Fine, go on. But remember I’m not exactly an expert on female anatomy.”
You take a deep breath. “Okay. Well I told you he always pulls out right? Um… ever since I told him im pregnant… he doesn’t.”
Lorenzo waits for you to continue, but you don’t. You think that’s it. “What the problem?”
You continue to avoid looking at him, stirring the soup. “Well.. what if I get pregnant again?”
He stares at you like he’s trying to make sense of your question before the recognition sets in. “OH!” But before he explains what he means… his face shifts… theres something sad in there, a hint of pain in his eyes you only saw once, the face he had as he looked at you in disgust while Joel carried you from the bedroom to the bath while you were covered head to toe in spit and cum and period blood… was it pity? “Jesus kid… No one really taught you anything, did they?”
“C’mon, just tell me.”
Scrubbing his face, he sighed. “No, you can’t get pregnant while your already pregnant.”
Oh. “Wait… really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Ah. Okay then.”
There was a long, long silence before he spoke again. “If you got any other question about, like… pregnancy and birth… I can try and answer.”
Joel had been trying to find a doctor, a midwife, something for you… but it was slim pickings in Wyoming. 
Five minuets later, you were squealing, covering your ears, but laughing. “Ew! What the hell is a mucus plug! You know what, I don’t wanna-”
“IT’S A PLUG FULL OF MUCUS IN YOUR VAGINA WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!?!” He yells loud enough to get past your attempt at blocking your ears. 
“NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH!!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” But you still could.
“Honestly in the last month or two all kinds of weird things are gonna come out of you including but not limited to a very slimey and weird looking baby.”
You gasp, feigning indignance. “How dare you insult my unborn child!”
“It ain’t personal, sweetheart. All babies look ugly as fuck as newborns. Now, let’s get back to the gritty details.”
With a squeal, you try to run away. “No! I know enough!” But you’re laughing. It felt like you were messing around with Zach back in your childhood home. 
“My sister Elaina lost like 4 teeth.”
“AAAHHHHH!”
Month 5
Joel had finally found a midwife of sorts. Well, technically, Jack did, as it was his cousin. Maura had been a nurse in the birthing wing a short time before everything went to shit and had been helping women deliver babies ever since. Initially, she told Jack to keep his mouth shut. She hated Joel and didn’t want a thing to do with him, but when no one else showed up and you were in your 5th month, she relented, purely for the sake of the innocent kidnapped girl. 
“Put the fucking gun away, Joel.” She said as she entered your room, grabbing the barrel in Joel’s hands and pointing it to the floor. “Point that shit at me again and I’m not helping your child bride.” She stared him down, head tilted up only slightly to reach his eyes. If she was intimidated by Joel, she wouldn’t
Joel glared at her, but he didn’t have many options. “If you hurt her-”
“From what I hear, you’re doing enough of that yourself. Now, you stand up against the wall and watch if you want to, but don’t interfere, and do not try to intimidate me, understood?”
You watched in awe as she stood her ground… It had been months before you had done anything of the sort against Joel, only standing up to him when Tommy’s life was in danger. Joel gave a curt nod and she turn to approach where you lay, sat up against some pillows.
A gentle smile was on her face, but it was clear she was here for business. Still, her confidence and certainty put you at ease.
“My name’s Maura, I’ll be helping deliver this baby.” She was beautiful, with long black hair and a light smattering of freckles on her face, but got straight to the point. It was clear she knew what she was doing, asking you questions you hadn’t even thought of yet and examining you. When she was done, she stood up, looking at you, not Joel. “It seems despite the circumstances-”
Joel tried to interrupt. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean”
But Maura ignored him, keeping your attention with her bright brown eyes. “Despite the circumstances, everything appears to be progressing naturally, theres no cause for concern as of right now. But you need to keep things low stress.” It was then she turned to glare at Joel, to emphasize her point.
Maura said she’d be staying near-by and Joel was paying her a hefty price for her services. When you’d go into labor, Joel was to send a man on horse to fetch her, preferably Jack, but she warned she would armed, and she’d be there shortly.
That night, Joel held you close as you discussed baby names. 
“How about Loretta? Like that singer you liked?”
Joel hums, none commital. “I always liked Dorothy, we could call her Dolly as a nickname. I know you like Dolly Parton” Joel had been teaching you about old country music, and you certainly had a few favorites. Not knowing many women in general, your pool of girl names was not strong so you drew from singers he’d mentioned. 
You scrunch up your nose a bit at that. “I like Dolly, I don’t like Dorothy.”
“It was my grandmas name, I’d really like to name our daughter after her.” His voice had that tone to it, the one that left little room to argue, but you tried to push past Dorothy.
“Maybe June? Like June Carter?” You knew how particle he was to Johnny Cash, but also... that was the name of the only friend you had before Tommy.
“That’s beautiful, little one, June it is.” He smiles into your skin, and you think you’ve won, when he says. “Dorothy June.” 
He had already decided, and there was no real option to argue or change his mind. You’d just call her Dolly, then.
You had one thing you really, really wanted for boy name, and you desperately hoped you could get it, but you couldn’t tell him why. You didn’t want any more kids so this was your only shot. You hadn’t even wanted this one, but as your stomach swelled with life, motherly love came with it and you decided you’d make the best of the situation. The child inside you was your number one priority. “Okay, boys? I really like Caleab… It’s my favorite boy name…” You didn’t have to tell him that was Zach’s middle name.
“I like it, bebita.” 
You got what you wanted. You knew Joel was hoping for a girl, so you figured he was less particular on the boy name. 
“Got any ideas for the middle name?” You ask him.
“Nothing in mind, really. I’m open…” He kisses your neck.  “Anything you want?”
You keep quiet. The name you wanted… he’d never go for.
Joel pulled you closer, nuzzling his face against you as he whispered. “Ah. I see.” You freeze. Tommy hadn’t been so much as alluded to since he barely made it out alive and you thought for sure Joel would have a fit, and you began to prepare yourself to feel a hand wrapped around your throat… But he tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed into your locks as he settled down for bed. “Caleb Thomas”
Month 6 
Lorenzo was getting on your fucking nerves today, and you were about to fling the frying pan, bubbling grease and all, at his face. 
“Will you shut up?”
“No, I’m not going to shut up because you are being fucking stupid!” Instead of his usual spot sitting at the kitchen table, he’s standing, arms crossed, in the doorway as you tried to get diner done. “I told you the first day, you are a dumb. Bitch.” he was drunk, three sheets to the wind and absolutely no filter.
“You have no fucking idea what I am! I am trying to fucking survive, Lorenzo, I am trying to keep myself and this baby-”
“You are playing housewife to a serial murder and a rapist!” He yells at you, clearly frustrated. “You are rewarding all the bad things he’s ever done you just give positive reinforcement-”
“Don’t fucking blame me! I’m not reinforcing the bad, I’m reinforcing the good!” You storm over to him, glaring Lorenzo down. “You have no fucking idea how bad things were! I used to dream about killing myself, about dying, about Joel finally snapping and doing it! I am doing the best in the conditions I have!”
“You could have left! You could have left with Zach and gone off with him for fucks sake!”
With a burst of anger you didn’t know was even in you anymore, you shove him, hard, causing the drunk to fall over. “You wanna know what he did last time I tried to run? He caught me within 10 minuets, dragged me back and chained me to this table-” You point at the table that you and Joel sit at most evenings now for diner. “And raped me in front of everyone, Lorenzo! Then he branded me and left me to be gang raped by all your little buddies here! And no one could stop him, not even Tommy! All Tommy could do is stand by and watch, and unchain me after Joel left before anyone could do anything more!”
Lorenzo was not deterred. “That’s my fucking point!”
“If I leave and he catches me, I am dead!”
Scoffing, Lorenzo rolls his eyes from where he’s slumped against the floor. “Yeah, that’s why”
Unsure how much more you can take from him, you motion him to continue.
“You just don’t wanna admit you fell in love with your rapist.”
That was enough. You begin to walk away from him, but he follows after you. 
“What about when you give birth, huh? What kind of father is he going to be? Are you going to stand by while he beats your kids?”
“SHUT UP!” You scream, still walking away. 
“And what if you have a daughter? You just gonna let him molest her like your dad-”
You wipe around so fast you don’t even have time to blink. “No, Joel isn’t like that.” 
Lorenzo laughs at you, cruel and loud. “You are 20 years younger than him, he raped you! You really think he’s above-”
“YES! He will not hurt her like that!”
“And if you have a son? Do you really wanna raise a man like Joel? The kind of man who beats and rapes innocent girls?”
Tears prickle at your eyes now, a terrible tightness in your chest bubbling with stomach bile. “N-no, that’s not gonna happen, I won’t let-”
“Oh, because you’ve had so much choice the last year, havn’t you. Sooooo much control.”
“I won’t.” You shake your head vigorously. “I won’t let anything happen to my baby, Joel won’t hurt them.”
“So, say he doesn't. You really gonna raise a kid here? Half the men here would’ve raped you, given the chance! You really think your child is safe here?”
You can’t argue with him when he’s right. But he doesn’t get it. Joel is good now, Joel protects you, Joel will protect the baby… Joel is gentle now… soft, kind… he thinks of you, he sings you songs… he plays music for you, he’ll be a good dad… You’ll be okay…
You shut down, going into autopilot. You don’t look at Lorenzo as you walk back to the kitchen to finish frying the chicken. Joel would be home soon.
Month 7
“JACK! GET MAURA!” Joel shouts as you groan on the bed, the tight contractions hurting.
“Joel, it hurts!” You call for him, and in a flash Joel is at your bedside, letting you squeeze his hand. 
“I know, little one, I know…” He pets your hair, having flashbacks to Sarah’s birth…. He wanted another girl so bad, but god, he just wanted a healthy baby and for his girl to make it out alive. Birth was dangerous in modern medicine, nonetheless a post-apocalyptic shitstorm. 
Lorenzo stood in the doorway, biting his nails. “You’re not due for another 8 weeks!”
Grunting through the pain, you let a rare bout of sarcasm slip. “Oh yeah, that’s right, never mind.”
“Could be false labor, you know? That’s called Braxton-Hicks contractions?” Lorenzo looked more nervous than you.
Joel ignored him. “It’s gonna be okay, Maura’s on her way and I think even out here 32 weeks is gonna be okay.” Joel wasn’t entirely sure about his own words. 32 weeks meant a premature baby, and pre-mature usually meant NICU… but there was no NICU to go to… if the babies lungs were under developed or anything like that, there were no options. 
Lorenzo was chewing through his nails enough to draw blood. “Or maybe it’s Braxton-Hicks”
At that, Joel finally acknowledges Lorenzo. “Okay, we get it, you know the term Braxton-Hicks, we’re all very impressed.”
“AHHHHHHH” You yell, wishing to get there was something for the pain.
Lorenzo wouldn’t shut up. “Okay, contractions are getting longer, that means your in active labor?”
“Her water hasn’t broke yet!” 
“Is she dilated?”
“Does it look like her pants are off to you?”
“Well check!”
“I don’t know how to tell! Weren’t you bragging last month you helped your sister give birth in a Walmart?”
“That doesn’t mean I know how to check if she’s dilated!”
“You know more than me!”
“I’m not sticking my fucking face between legs!”
“Oh, because you’re gay you’re suddenly scared of vagina’s?”
“What are you talking about?”
“So you’d rather let her just die?”
“DIE? Joel she’s not gonna die because I’m not looking at her fucking cu-”
“GUYS” you shout, causing both to turn and look at you. “The contractions stopped.”
There’s a moment of silence before Lorenzo speaks. “Oh. Huh. That’s uhhh… Braxton-Hicks I guess. False labor.”
As Joel kissed you that night, sex was the last thing you wanted, but you knew there was no point in fighting it.
Joel sucked on your throat, already bruised with dark marks from the night before, now sore and aching with new licks and bites, his hands roaming to expanse of skin presented before him. Gripping, feeling, pinching, tugging, some things felt good, some hurt, but that didn’t matter. He’d get you off, he always did, at night anyway, but you knew sometimes he just liked to feel you, feel what he owned.  The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed? Your blood is mine.
Your belly round and swollen with child, he could not hardly keep his hand off it, every time his hand traveled to explore, it quickly found itself returning to its home, never wanting to miss a kick. He slithered down, nestling his face between your legs and devouring your pussy the way he did your neck, the way he did every piece of you, body and soul and until there was nothing left but this subservient version of you, weak and obedient to his hands. He lapped you up, skilled tongue exploring through your folds only pausing to nibble at the soft skin of your thighs or kiss the round stomach above him. He felt extra possessive today, a desperate, anxious way about him as he devoured you so hungrily you wondered if he intended to eat you, swallow you whole to keep you with him forever; a communion, and you were the eucharist, a matrimony of cannibalism. 
You wanted to tug at his hair, you wanted to entangle yourself in him but your belly was in the way, so you simply laid back and enjoyed as he tongue fucked you, prodding at your entrance, his hands on the globe where your child waits to be born.
“Fuck, Joel, need you, need to cum, please.”
You beg for him, plead, and he devours. Joel knows you love when his perfect, plus lips such at your mound and your clit with long fingers fingering into you, and you yelp when they curl up and hit that spot inside you. “Keep moaning, little one, let me hear you.”
You obliged. Sometimes you wondered how sick everyone in the house was of hearing you, but they weren’t the ones you needed to please; pleasing Joel kept you alive.
“I need you inside me, please” Nudging him with your leg as you cry for his cock. “Joel, I gotta have you inside me, I need to cum on your cock, please? Please, Joel-”
A wet, sloppy sound as he detached from you, and his eyes looked just as hungry as he acted while he crawled up. “You beg so pretty, little one, such a pretty little cock whore.”
But you didn’t have time for his talking, you needed him inside you, now; the hormones of the pregnancy had a mind of their own. You take a chance and push him down, watching Joel smile as you straddle his waist. “God, I just- just need you.”
“The take me, little one, take me” 
You cry out as you sink down onto him, feeling your cunt split on him. “Fuuuck!” Sobbing, you take him fully and begin to fuck yourself on him.
“Just like that, pretty girl, fuck, taking me so well, gonna have you all stretched out to have this baby, huh? Gonna give me a child, little girl? A baby of our own? Fuck, fuck you look so pretty like this, swollen with my child, stretching your stomach as I stretch your cunt, fucking perfect, my perfect wife.”
Wife.
Wife.
Wife?!
You knew Joel was delusional… but fuck, Lorenzo was right… you were playing house wife. Joel thought of you as his wife… 
“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, again, and again, keep you constantly knocked up, make our happy little family, you and me and a dozen little kids running around, FUCK, our family, our family.”
You continued the pace, you couldn’t falter, you couldn’t slow down, you couldn’t hesitate; you couldn’t give any sort of reason for him to think you didn’t want this…
But it suddenly struck you
You were trapped. Joel trapped you with a baby, knowing you’d need him to protect it, knowing you’d never leave your child… and now he was going to keep you pregnant. You could never leave with 5,6,7 kids, it would be impossible. 
“Yeah, fuck yourself on my cock little one, just little that…” Joel reached out to touch you, roughly manhandling your tits that were swollen and engorged.
You begin to cry, but that wouldn’t give away anything for Joel; he fucking loved that shit.
One hand on your breast, one on your clit. “Cry on my cock, baby girl, cry when you cum.”
You did, you sobbed as you came, your body betraying the horrors you felt at his hands.
Month 8
“Hey Joel? Can I talk to you about something?”
You had to do it. You had to. And it had to be now. You two had fucked less than half an hour ago and he was currently eating your food, humming contently. He was always lovey-dovey after sex, and was always much happier after food… The pair didn’t line up often, so now was your chance. 
“What’s on your mind, little one? Nervous about being a mother? You’ll be a great mom; I just know it.” He smiled at you with puppy dog eyes, looking up from his plate, and you couldn’t help smiling back, not when he showered you with compliments.
“Well… you’ve said before you wanted lots of kids… but we… well this little baby was an accident.”
“A miracle, not an accident.” Joel corrected you. You didn’t see how conceiving a child the night he was threatening to blow your brains onto a wall for sleeping with his brother if you didn’t shoot said-baby’s uncle was a miracle… but you digress
“Right. Well… we never really talked about more kids… and although I’m over the moon about this baby, I did initially not want to have it.” Joel’s face began to darken, but you powered through. “Maybe we could see how we feel about one kid after a few years before thinking about-”
Joel slammed down his silverware. “What are you trying to say.”
But you freeze. This was a bad idea, you needed to placate immediately, you needed to calm him down. “N-nothing, Joel, just thinking out loud.”
He stood up, a deadly, blank stare on his face, so far removed from the adoration as he bestowed kisses on your ever-growing belly. Joel walked around the table, standing behind you and placing firm hands on your shaking shoulders, leaning into your ear. 
“You say’n you don’t want my kids? Don’t wanna be their mama? You don’t wanna be my wife?”
“No, no that’s not-” But you don’t get a chance to finish, his hand is wrapped around your throat and insane strength pulling you up and out of the chair, the wooden furniture toppled to the side in a loud clatter. He slams the back of your head against the drywall, you’re toes barely touch the ground; struggling to breath, you claw at his hand, but he doesn’t even blink.
The panic begins to set it.
“YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE! YOU DO NOT GET TO MAKE CHOICES!” He screams, and out of the corner of your eye you watch as a few men hesitantly gather, like vultures waiting on the next piece of deadmeat. You couldn’t see who, but it didn’t matter. Even the good ones couldn’t intervene.
Joel’s face was suddenly right in front of yours. “Everything you have, any freedom, any luxuries, any power you think you have is because I have given it to you.” Black spots appeared, your vision blurring, sinking into the unknown and god, did it feel sweet. Was it finally over? “I bought you, I own you, you have no rights! You are nothing! You are nothing but a toy for me to play with, a breeding bitch and you should be so lucky to sit at my table!”
He let go, but as you gasped for breath, Joel yanked at your hair and patched you across the room, not letting go of his grasp on you as you flung into the counter. What he didn’t know, what he could never understand was how the handle of the draw rammed into the brand on your side. Suddenly, all sense, all rational went out the window, and you were violently thrust back to last year as he burned his initials into your skin. The flashbacks were triggered, and the result was nothing short of hysteria. You cry out for the only person who would step in.
“TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMYYYY” You scream, the fact Tommy was miles away didn’t matter, nor did the fact this would only anger Joel more. This didn’t matter; you wanted him, no one but him, and all sense was knocked out of you.
Joel pulls you up by your hair and slaps you hard enough that you taste blood and screams at you to not say Tommy’s name, but you can’t stop, you scream and scream and scream for him to come save you and your baby, the precious little life inside you that has never done anything wrong. 
You fight and claw and panic, hysterics drowning out the one or two voices telling Joel to stop; who they belonged to, you couldn’t say. 
Joel stopped listening, and the voices grow louder as Joel drags you, kicking and screaming, outside; rope and a chair in his hand, your hair in the other, and Joel walked with long strides to a tree outside.
****************
YEEEEEEESSSSHHHHHHHHHHH Cliiiiiff hanger, hanging from a cliiiiiiffff thats why he's caaaaallled, Cliff Hangers!
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Who else used to watch Inbetween The Lions? Anyway.
Who wanna guess what happens!
Only two chapters left!
For the sake of credit, if you didn't find the superstore reference or dont watch the show, most of the dialogue between Joel and Lorenzo and LO was between Amy and Jonah from two birth related episodes of superstore
Also, Maura is named after my dear dear friend @maura-honey who although is not generally a fanfiction girlie, made a tumblr so she could read, like and reblog this series and always sends me such lovely messages <3
Reblogs are the best way to spread and support, but comments mean the world. I know not everyone likes to share dark content on their blog, but even a kind anon is such support!
for those who voted you dont like or hate or Lorenzo, I hope that doesn't mean you hate him as n he's a bad character. I got a comment on AO3 that said "i cant tell if i like lorenzo or not, but i like him in the story" which makes sense! His victim blaming is really fucking shitty.
no poll today, sorry!
MoonBanana said they think LO copes by lying to herself until she beleives it, what do y'all think? is she as delusional as joel?
@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den
@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy
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smirkingkitten · 5 months
Text
Reading list November 2023
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It's December and that doesn't just mean the Christmas season starts and it's the time for cozy evenings with candles, blankets and a hot chocolate, but also: it's time for another reading list.
It feels like it's been so long since Loki graced us with a new episode every week. I'm still not quite over the ending, although this interview did heal my poor heart a little, if only just a bit. I hope you're coping well with the ending. And now, happy reading.
✨And don't forget to reblog the storys you read to support all these lovely writers.✨
My other Reading lists can be found in my Fanfiction Bookshelf.
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Series | Collections | Multi Parts
The Redbridge Hunts @fanficshiddles
8 Chapters (on going) | Vampire!Loki | fluff
prev. | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8
Summary: Claire moves to Demsdale to take up a new job as an assistant teacher for one Loki Laufeyson. She's also very intrigued with all of the rumours within the borough of Redbridge. However, as she starts to fall for Loki's charm and good looks, she also learns that all of the rumours might not just be rumours after all.
Double Cross @gigglingtiggerv2
12 chapters (on going) | Jaguar Villain!Tom | dark, smut
Summary: In Dante’s inferno, the Eighth Circle of Hell was reserved for liars, panderers, thieves and murderers.  For the criminal underworld it is an opulent London club, representing neutral territory where deals can be made, grievances aired and scores settled.
For the owner, Thomas Cross, it is his own private kingdom, one where he makes the rules and wields absolute authority. Recently, however, that authority has come under threat.  In order to maintain his standing and the Club’s ruthless reputation, it is imperative he find the perpetrator.
In this violent place, where lies are currency and everyone has their own agenda, who can he trust? Certainly not Verity Williams, the talented thief who has her own reasons for infiltrating his organisation. 
Neither can deny the sparks that fly whenever they’re together, but if he’s not careful, will those sparks burn down everything he’s created?
Déchiré @ijuststareatstuffhereok89
7 chapters (on going) | Loki, Bucky, Captain America | smut
You are a HYDRA agent sent to infiltrate the notorious Avengers, to tear them apart in the worst way possible in order to make them vulnerable to attack. In the midst of the wild heat you generate, three suitors take your bait.
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One Shots
Firestarter @delaber
4,2k | AvengersMovie!Loki | smut, hatefucking
Rule Number One @just-the-hiddles
medium | Jonathan Pine | smut, dom/sub, daddy, spanking
Gorgeous @ghostofskywalker
1,2k | Avenger!Loki | fluff
Heavy Petting @wheredafandomat
800 | Loki | smut
I gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch @wheredafandomat
short | Loki | smut, oral (f reserving)
Aftercare @sarahscribbles
680 | Loki | fluff, spicy
If I was your best friend @wheredafandomat
medium | Loki | smut
Worshiped by a God @sarahscribbles
1,1k | Loki | fluff, smut
Best of Friends @just-the-hiddles
long | Actor!Tom Hiddleston | fluff, friends to lovers
Duty of Care @muddyorbsblr
1,9k | Jonathan Pine | smut, fluff
Winter Warmers: A Winters Night on Asgard @lokischambermaid
930 | Asgard!Loki | fluff
The Sandwich Incident @holdmytesseract
1,2k | Tom Hiddleston | fluff, humour
My Girl @lokisgoodgirl
1,8k | Avenger!Loki | smut, man-bun
Lactation @viviluvssmut
1k | Loki | smut, oral (f reserving)
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Drabbles
Don't Move, Darling @sarahscribbles
1,1k | Loki | smut, teasing, edging
Time slipping @wheredafandomat
600 | TVA Loki | smut, hurt/comfort
praise kink, gagging, hickies @ragnarachael
short | Jonathan Pine | smut, daddy kink
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Headcanons
Loki and the Watcher @benevolentgodloki
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✨Happy reading 😊✨
Back to my Fanfiction Bookshelf
Many of the fanfictions are 18+, so if you're under 18, don't read them.
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mychlapci · 4 months
Note
If we are going to discuss TFP Bulkhead let's think about post-War all the ex-Decepticons Vehicons being absolutely horny for their foreman. Going to be very, very dubcon (at best). Sorry it got a bot outta hand.
He's a boss but more along the lines of Breakdown who doesn't hit and treats them nicely and knows their names. He even starts to become friendly and knows their names. Everytime he bends over and has to come pick up something heavy, production stalls.
Most accidents are due to eyeballing him. He once got hot working and took off his chest plate casually as it is common with Construction bots to prevent overheating and they all got an eyeful of Bulkhead titties and a ten car pileup happened. Mommy Bulkhead kinks were born that day.
He is just surrounded by lusting Vehicons and one day they can't stand it, after he gets a little tipsy. He complains about how hard it is to find a partner mentioning everyone expects a big strong Wrecker and see him and how he'd like to be the one taken care of a bit you know. Like a hundred engines start growling at the thought and one of them says they could and Bulkhead laughs saying it's fine thinking they are joking. But then they all start complimenting him drunkenly and he blushes, waving off the “You're great boss!” “Anyone would be lucky to have you!” “So pretty!” and goes home but they are all plotting now.
The Vehicons all start a group effort of hitting on him and flirting and little gifts because that's how Autobots convey interest right? Completely goes over his head. Then they decide to do it the way things went on the Nemesis.
Bulkhead gets lured into a construction area below the surface and tries to help by clearing an area out and goes to walk through but the doors of the subterranean temple to one of the Primes shuts down and neatly cinches around his face. He curses but starts directing his team how to get out but things are weirdly quiet and then he feels a hand on his modesty plate. He bulks and then his lead assistant who is now rubbing against it explains that they all deeply care for him and want to show their appreciation and since the Autobot way didn't work they'll try something else.
Bulkhead finds out his comm connection doesn't work and though he struggles doesn't want to hurt them and tries to say why they can't do this because he's talked with them a lot and Decepticons have a really messed up idea of bodily autonomy and consent especially Vehicons who even he, guiltily, genuine thought were more drone than person for a long time.
They all assure him not to worry they'd never hurt him and keep touching him exactly, exactly, how he likes so his protests are interrupted by him moaning as he is getting hot and his vents opening up, fans turning on and getting wet behind the panel. He is suddenly deeply regretting all those interface stories he shared when they were relaxing together after hours. Even worse are the compliments both about his frame and himself that are just so sincere.
He can't stop it and his panel pops.
Things quickly escalate. That split face and long tongue from the zombie/Vampire episode? That's just how Vehicons feed. Soon Bulkhead has one eating him out the tentacle tongue going deeper than it should be able to while one is eagerly deep throating him tongue wrapping around and stroking his spike. He overloads and that's just the beginning.
There's a train of them eager to lick and suck and fuck him. The entire time he has to listen to how pretty his pussy he is how kind and sweet he is how they all just want to worship him and their fields are just a whirl stream of lust and admiration that is tripping him up over and over. The train just keeps going and going. He never gets a moment to feel empty because one replaces the next immediately and when his spike eventually recesses they gently lube that up with fingers and tongues and then his spike casing is being fucked as well which makes him overload even harded because they are small enough to not damage him.
Eventually his charge and fuel levels start to dip but they have a plan for that. Turns out the room isn't as locked down as he thought and some slip in here as they all take a break to massage him, oil his joints, squirt lube generously in all his holes and refuel him while he is dazed he barely reacts until he's getting kissed and that tongue is fucking his intake and his chest plate is getting removed. They give him Energon, engex, hand feed him sweets, and polish him as quite a few also have caretaking kinks.
(And the healthiest Decepticon relationship they are trying to mirror is KOBD.)
When they restart it is from the front and back. Kissing turns into fucking and someone is always sucking, squeezing or fucking in between his boobs and before he knows it he can't even count how many are going at once in his spike, valve, throat, aft, and boobs and he feels like he's stuck in a constant overload interrupted by "so pretty” “our beautiful big boss” “you can take so much so sweet”.
Bulkhead genuinely doesn't know when it ends but he wakes up in his bed fully recharged, body clean with no marks, no transfluid in any hole, but wet behind his panels. There's a message saying he got “overcharged” at the celebration and they tucked him in. The other Autobots comment about the party the Vehicons had.
Bulkhead thinks he dreamed it because everyone is so normal the next day, just warm and friendly, following orders and calling him boss. It makes him twitchy and nervous. He goes down to the Temple and finds they've cleared out the area and started repairs. No sign of him being pinned down there.
He thinks he's going a bit crazy because now he can't stop thinking about it and is horny constantly and conflicted and starts intentionally doing things like bending over or taking off his chest plate and stretching.
Then when he's accepted that it was just his overactive imagination his second comes up to his office leans into his personal space and just gently strokes up his arm pressing a field that feels just like Bulkhead's “dream” and says that the Vehicons are wanting to have a celebration in their barracks and they want Bulkhead there as the centerpiece. It's an invitation and Bulkhead freezes up before saying “of course” and shows up skittish and unsure. Everyone keeps touching him but keeping it PG as he is given drinks and lingering touches and he thinks maybe he imagined it. Then he gets lead into their “recreation area” and they've set up a massive frame with straps and padding designed to fit him.
Bulkhead takes a shot and says “yes”.
makes animal sounds at this because i'm fucking. speechless. Something about Bulkhead being extremely desirable for his size just does it for me. 
The vehicons working under him love Bulkhead. He doesn't scream at them, he doesn't hit them, and he's perfectly built (Bulkhead big naturals will now live in my head forever.) Vehicons being unaware of how to approach the subject of absolutely getting to ruin his holes one by one, they try to mimic autobot courting methods but that just doesn't work on Bulkhead. Getting to pin him down seems like a more efficient method. He's a strong guy, but a fucked up vehicon tongue up his pussy makes him fold so fast… 
Poor Bulkhead gaslit into thinking he just had an extremely vivid wet dream until he ends up down there again and now the room is nicely decorated and the vehicons promise to take care of him… I'll be completely honest with you, I want Bulkhead in a sex swing. I've decided that's going to be my fantasy for tonight. I want him helpless and strung up with vehicons pushing their spikes into his valve over and over again until he can barely feel his calipers…
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brook1yn-baby · 10 months
Text
sulk
pc!stan oneshot <3
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characters; post covid stan x fem reader
warnings; dom/sub themes, daddy kink, petnames (sweetpea, baby), no actual written smut, legal but large age gap (reader is early 20s, stan is early 40s), alcohol+smoking, all that yummy stuff xoxo
a/n; what the freaking freak 200 likes on my first post?!?!? u guys r the best love u my little cuties 💋 also pc stan brainrot is taking over smh
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maybe it was the fact you’d had to get up earlier than usual, or because you’d had back-to-back lectures all day, or even the closing shift you’d had to work last minute, but god, you were whiny tonight.
stan didn’t even remember what time it was when you let yourself into his apartment, dropping your backpack on the floor by the door and just collapsing onto the couch next to him. he’d been enjoying his usual nighttime routine; a few glasses of whiskey, one too many beers, a pack of cigs and a little pot, watching reruns of his favourite shows from when he was younger. you called it depressing once, and he agreed, but found too much comfort in pattern to change his ways now.
you lay face-down on the couch, curled into yourself and groaning into the old throw pillows as stan chuckled from above you. “tough day, sweetpea?” his large, rough hand rested gently on your head, thick fingers running through your hair and untangling the knots you’d gathered from the stress of school and work. his tone is teasing so you don’t reply, instead huffing quietly and nodding your head, still stuffed into the couch cushions. stan’s other hand holds a newly-lit cigarette and a half-drank can of cheap beer, and he seems more focused on these than you.
his arm comes to rest on your waist as another episode of ‘terrance and philip’ begins, the intro playing softly while you shuffle closer to stan’s side, immediately comforted by his warmth and size. you rest your head on his thigh and let him watch his show for a little while. the two of you didn’t even have to talk; you both just liked admiring the other sometimes. however as he adjusted in his seat, pulling you up to sit on his lap, your focus switched to the can of beer in his hand.
stan was a heavy drinker. he wasn’t proud of it, but he’d accepted it. you, on the other hand? you’d reached the legal drinking age a few years prior and, although you’d drank before turning 21, it seemed you still hadn’t outgrown that lightweight phase, or your competitive streak. your first time drinking with stan, he’d made a stupid joke about how he could drink you under the table. of course, you tried, but he was right. you’d ended the night with your head in the toilet bowl as he held your hair back, rubbing your back and laughing, stopping a few times to take another sip of jack. after that, he’d been very hesitant to let you drink with him again- mainly because he had to clean up the vomit you left on the bathroom floor while you sat in the doorway, crying and apologising, even after he told you it was fine.
so when he finally noticed your eyes on his drink, he sighed, looking down at you. “what?” you can hear the grin in his deep, raspy voice. if he’s fed up, he’s not showing it. “what, what?” you reply, an innocent smile lining your lips. you knew if you asked for a drink he’d say no, so teasing him until he gave up was your next best option. he scoffs, leaning his head against the back of the couch, shaking it softly. “come on, sweetpea. we both know what you want.” you shift on his lap so you’re straddling him, hands resting on his chest, that innocent smile on your face now sly. “i have no idea what you’re talking about, stanley.” his eyes find yours. he sits up slowly, one hand resting on yours while his other still holds his can.
“don’t get smart with me, kid. you want something, you ask for it.” his tone is stern, but quiet. he watches you intently while you squirm under his gaze, the beginnings of a smirk playing on his lips. you try not to catch his eye as you feel your face turning a soft pink colour. stan found it so easy to humiliate you, to turn you into a blushing mess on his lap with just his words. he had to admit, dating you had given him a pretty big confidence boost. he wasn’t the best looking guy, but from the first time you’d met him, you’d flirted with him like he was. it was almost laughable- a young, pretty thing like you, batting her eyelashes up at a 40-something-year-old with a beer belly and a constantly grumpy personality. it was endearing, to say the least.
your eyes switch back to the can of beer in his hand, but firm, controlling fingers grasp your cheeks, pulling your face back towards stan and away from his drink. his tone is more dominating now, like he’s telling you to be obedient; “use your words, sweetpea. tell daddy what you want.” he watches you through half-lidded eyes, waiting for you to follow his orders.
you rest your head on his chest, still looking up at him. “can i please have a sip?”
he chuckles softly, looking down at you. “see, was that so hard, baby?” you give him a happy grin. you reach out to take the can from him, only for him to hold it out of your reach, tutting. you sit up, pouting at him. “did i say yes?”
you sigh in defeat, groaning when he brings the can to his lips and takes a long gulp, humming softly in satisfaction as he swallows. “god, that’s good. could you get daddy another beer, sweetpea?” he looks at you with a knowing grin on his face. you roll your eyes but hop off of his lap, making a point to trudge to the kitchen unhappily, hearing him chuckle to himself from the living room. you could easily take a swig of this new can before you give it to him, but decide against it. you weren’t in the mood for a punishment tonight.
you pass him the unopened drink, sulkily sitting next to him as he mutters ‘that’s my girl’, taking the can and cracking it open. you keep your eyes on the television, arms crossed and an exaggerated pout on your face. stan looks down at you, laughing lightly at how petty you’re being, then rests his arm around your shoulders, trying to pull you close to him. stubborn as ever, you stay sat up firmly. you hear him sigh from above you, then take a sip from his can, before it’s directly in front of you. he nudges you gently, gesturing for you to have some. you look up at him quickly, grinning, happy he’s finally given in. before you can reach for it, he pulls it back slightly.
“what d’you say?” he waits for you to reply, holding the drink tight as your hands wrap around the can, on top of his. you give him your best puppy-dog eyes. “thank you, daddy.” pressing a quick kiss on his cheek as he chuckles, his grip on the drink finally releases and you take a long gulp. he pulls you back into his lap as you relax into him, his hand immediately finding its way back to your hair, fingers brushing through slowly as you curl up into him.
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eerna · 3 months
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heyyy sorry if this is awkward but can I ask… how… graphic are the sex scenes in blue eyed samurai? Cos I really wanna watch it (it looks so cool) but I really don’t enjoy sex scenes in general and the warnings on Netflix kinda scared me off so. Like also is it multiple scenes? is it very heavy ahaha
(sorry if this is weird but I don’t know anyone irl who’s watched bes so I don’t have anyone to ask 🥲 hope this was an okay question and I’m not overstepping lolol)
No worries, security is security :) Putting under read more, hope it helps!
The show has a lot of casual nudity, almost every episode, where both men and women are just chilling naked (these are mostly casual without sexualization, but I figured I should mention them just to cover all bases). The sex scenes themselves don't feature genitalia or fluids or any kind of hard rated material, but they got the moaning and obvious insertion motions. Basically they aren't porn and don't serve as titillating content, but I wouldn't watch the show as a fun family hangout. I don't remember the exact number, but there are definitely at least 3. There's also some kink situations set in a brothel, but the physical aspect reaches kissing at most. Even ignoring the on-screen sex, the show definitely deals with sexuality and all of the main characters are connected to it in one way or another, with one of them even doing a short stint as a prostitute. The cool part is that it's very obviously a female-perspective story and never objectifies or dehumanizes the characters - I don't know if that's a me thing or a widely sensed phenomenon, but there's a big difference in my mind between this kind of sex scenes and smut/Game-of-Thrones-esque sex scenes, where the latter is pretty dirty and icky while the former just feels like something normal and natural for people to do.
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