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mill-3-rd · 7 months

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TUTORING m afton

being forced to tutor the school's biggest bully, michael afton, was a pain in your ass. if anything, it was a waste of your time. michael would have to repeat the twelth grade if he didn't pass his final exam and you were his last hope.

warnings — degradation, praise, reader is implied to have a big bum, breeding, panty stealing, facefucking + blowjobs, talking you through it, masturbation, fingering, breathplay, hair pulling, spanking, teasing, crying, virginity loss, speedbump pos, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, orgasm control if you squint, scumbag michael

wc — 3,439

michael wasn't exactly nice to be around, he was dirty and had the mannerisms of a pig. for one, he walked his shoes through your house as if it were his own and kept them on as he got comfortable in your bed.

you'd spend atleast ten minutes picking up your fallen cushions and plushies that michael had kicked off in his process of achieving luxury before you could start the tutoring session.

he was so frustrating. you would be fine with him failing because he didn't try. michael picked on you inside your own home: he pulled your hair when he felt like it, he pinched and prodded at you when he was bored, he raided your fridge around your mother. the summer heat did not mix well with michael's antics.

for an eighteen year old, he acted like he was nine.

you were so close to going into a heart attack from the stress michael was currently giving you. you sat on your knees infront of michael while he was laying back on your headboard. as you were explaining, michael was making a catapult out of his pen and an elastic band. he misplaced it and the band flung onto the pencil pot beside you, making it fall onto your floorboards. you cringed at the contact and sighed.

giving michael a glare, you got off your bed and dropped down onto your knees to pick up the fallen pencils. unfortunately, some went a bit further which made you reach forward onto all fours.

to michael's perverted pleasure, you wore an old, tight pair of striped sports shorts so when you bent over in front of him, he got to witness your ass basically fall out of the straining fabric.

he chuckled, readjusting his position, "d'you wear those for me?"

you sat on your heels and turned around, "what?"

infront of you was a clearly turned on boy. his cheeks were slightly red, which you would assume it was the heat if you didn't know any better, his eyes were hooded, and his arm had tried to subtly cover his hard on.

your eyes widened before you quickly finished picking up the stationary, "no.." you felt so embarrassed. this time, you put the pot on your nightstand and got back onto the bed, crossing your legs.

"can we just wrap up this session for today?" you huffed, eyes watering due to the mortification, exhaustion, and frustration. michael pouted mockingly, "aw but we still have half an hour left.."

"then that can go into next session's time—you seem stressed," michael interrupted you as he moved towards you. he knelt infront of you and leaned in. his lips were hovering just above yours, "you wanna know what helps with stress?"

michael's hands went to your thighs, slipping his hands underneath them. you let out a breath, too flustered to say anything. his lips dodged your own and drifted across your cheek until he got to your ear, "sex."

using the leverage he had over you, michael dragged your bottom half towards him and made your top half fall backwards onto your bed. you squealed as your clothes lift up with the drag of your duvet and michael climbed on top of you.

"wanna try it out?" michael's voice was just above a whisper, his face just centimetres away from yours. your lips quivered, you'd never been so nervous in your life but you couldn't deny the heat pooling between your thighs. unconsciously, your thighs rubbed together which michael caught onto, "see, you need it baby.."

he leaned down and nipped at the column of your throat, making you inhale shakily and squeeze your eyes shut. it took maybe two more hickeys to get sucked onto you for your eyes to snap open and for you to push michael away. his expression was neutral while yours expressed worry.

"i can't- you.." you uncontrollably stutter, your eyes watering again, "michael, you're horrible to me! you can't expect me to just have sex with you because you're too immature to control your boner.."

he laughed at the use of boner, but its not what it looked like to you, "this isn't funny!" michael calmed down and apologised. it surprised you when the word sorry came out as he wiped his eye.

"c'mon, it'll be a one time thing," he said it so casually it concerned you, just how many girls had he done this with? he leaned in again and you began to panic, "michael, my door is open, my mom will hear! i'm also a virgin.." you mumbled the last part, looking away in embarrassment.

"the door is barely open and i'll be gentle," michael reassured you, making you relax into the matress. maybe if you weren't so turned on at the moment, you would've said no but instead you muttered a shy okay which made michael grin at you and continue his blemishing on your neck.

he sucked on a particular spot on your throat that made a moan come out of you. silently, michael acknowledged this and continued to suckle on it. your hands went to his hair, tugging at his locks and twisting them between your fingers. you let out continuous whines as you tilted your head to the side to try and muffle your noises with you duvet.

michael took notice of this and grabbed your jaw, guiding it back up, "wanna hear you.." your worries of your mom hearing were momentarily forgotten due to michael's words. he continued sucking until there was a dark purple mark the size of a bottle cap. he chuckled, knowing how hard it would be to cover that up.

then, michael leaned back and got comfortable in your pillows once again. he gestured for you to come closer, telling you to kneel infront of him. you did just that and watched wordlessly as michael's hands pushed you up by the underside of your ass. he lifted you so you were relying on your shins to stay up. there was eye contact between you two as michael took your shirt off before your shorts to reveal an innocent pair of light pink underwear with a frilly bow on the front.

"cute.." he mumbled, now focusing on the material covering your private parts. michael hooked his finger on the band before letting it snap back on your skin. you gasped as michael's thumb went back under and soothed the sting.

"you ever given a blowjob before?" you shook your head, "never done anything like this apart from touch myself.." you admitted bashfully and michael awed before taking off his shirt, "i'll teach you how."

"move backwards," he ordered and watched you shuffle away from him. michael nodded and smiled, "good, now lean down and arch your back."

your chest made contact with your hands and your head made contact with michael's left thigh. looking up at him, you saw his eyes focused on your perched ass. the fatness of it spilled over the hem of your underwear and he could see the back of it in the mirror that was—thankfully—behind you.

"what's next..?" you looked up at michael, expectantly and he cleared his throat, "i'll take it out for you.." all you could do was watch with wonder as michael pulled his cock out from the confinements of his shorts and briefs.

"okay, now just grab the base," michael's cock wasn't massive or anything, but he was definitely above average. he was maybe six inches and had girth about the size of your wrist. doing as instructed, you wrapped your fingers around the base and waited for the next task.

"suck on the tip," the way he demanded was so vulgar but it did turn you on. you swallowed before hesitantly wrapping your lips around the tip. it had small beads of precum coming out which you tasted instantly: it was salty and bitter but atleast it didn't taste like he didn't care for himself so that was a plus.

just the tip itself felt heavy on your tongue as you suckled. michael sucked in a breath and shivered, "okay, now take a bit more in and stroke what you can't get."

talk about easier said than done. maybe it wasn't that hard, but you'd never done this before. you pulled off him and offered a sheepish smile, "can you repeat that?"

"should i show you instead?" michael asked and you nodded, "please." he guided his hand to the back of your head, "slap my thigh if it's too much, kay?"

michael guided you back onto his cock and began to push your head down. you felt a few veins slide against your tongue and cheeks which oddly aroused you. when the tip entered your throat, you gagged and slapped michael's thigh.

"go about that far and then stroke what you can't."

you did just that, stroking the base until about half way whereas your mouth got maybe a third way down. michael groaned and huffed as you went and when you added your spare hand into the mix, he was just about done.

"touch yourself f'me.." michael asked, exhaling with a shudder, "loosen yourself up."

you took your right hand away, sliding it down until you reached your clit. you began to rub, your fingers slipping around easily due to your arousal. you moaned around michael's dick, glad they were muffled so nobody but you and michael could hear. your arm went further, allowing your fingers to penetrate yourself. your eyes squeezed shut as you pumped yourself, your secretions already slipping down your fingers and allowing you to go faster and further with ease.

michael grabbed your head, pushing you further onto his dick. tears escaped your eyes as you gagged. his hand kept you at the base of his dick, your nose brushing against his pubes. then, he yanked your mouth off of him. you sputtered and coughed while your fingers still remained inside you.

"the nice guy act's done, y/n," michael smirked at you before sliding his dick back in your mouth. you gagged repeatedly as you were pushed on and pulled off his dick. the noise was so loud, you were sure if your mom was at the bottom of the stairs that she would be able to hear the activity going on in the room.

you went back to rubbing your clit, finding it easier to achieve an orgasm that way. slick sounds came from the contact between your fingers and clit, joining the gagging and moaning in the room. you applied more pressure and rubbed a few more times before slipping your fingers into your cunt again and using your palm to stimulate your clit. you pumped and rubbed, shuffling uncontrollably to try get to the high you craved. then, with three hard thrusts from your fingers in sync with slaps from your palm, you came. you squealed around michael's dick, squeezing your thighs together and riding out your orgasm. you kept your fingers in to keep you open.

michael watched as your ass jiggled and sighed.

"fuck, y/n," michael tossed his head back and moaned. you kept bobbing your head and rolling your wrist. suddenly, michael tugged you off of him by your hair. you whined, spit and precum dripping in strings from your lips.

while panting, michael ordered you to move over. he shuffled to the side and let you take his spot. on your stomach.. he praised you as you crossed your arms to rest your head on as he got behind you, not caring that the remnants of your orgasm still remained on your fingers. michael's shadow cast over you when he reached over you to grab a pillow.

"lift your hips," you did just that, allowing him to slide it under your pelvis. michael's hand massaged your plush ass, his hand sinking into it. he straddled your thighs and lined himself up with your cunt.

"this is gonna hurt for a few minutes, kay?" michael warned before sliding the tip in. it probably would've hurt more if you didn't finger yourself just a second ago. it stung. a lot. but it was bareable. you whined, trying to keep your muscles loose to make it easier for both of you, "shit.."

you dug your forehead into your arms, wincing in discomfort as michael slowly inched himself deeper into you. both your breathing picked up as he pushed himself in until he was fully sheathed inside. you shuddered, feeling abnormally full and a heavyness in your stomach. you both remained in your positions until you were comfortable. michael massaged your hips, ass, and thighs until you gave him the okay to move.

"you can move now.." you sighed, getting used to the feeling of michael's cock inside you. carefully, he slid out of you until halfway before sliding back in. michael then slid all the way out. you gasped, missing the fullness. you heard him chuckle, "i know, i know.." he ignored the blood slowly beginning to seep out. it might've been his first time popping someone's cherry, but he wasn't stupid. it filled him with pride, if anything.

michael went at a medium pace, watching your ass jiggle at the slightest contact with his pelvis. you moaned, tightening your hold on your elbows. the sensation had turned from uncomfortable to pleasurable. it was like that until you were one hundred percent comfortable, which michael had you verbally confirm.

"pussy's so fuckin' tight," he groaned, spreading your ass and spitting onto your cunt. michael watched his spit gradually get pushed inside you as he thrusted. it made the squelching sound much more noticeable.

"fuck..! " you mewled at how good it made you feel that michael was speeding up, but your mom could be listening to all of this!

"michael, slow down, my mom.. ah! " your head was shoved into the mattress, your nose pushed upwards against it, "shut up and take it.."

his hand remained on the back of your head, allowing you to suffocate as he fucked you, "since you wanna be quiet so fucking bad, you're gonna be quiet..." michael's pace increased, pounding into you as you let out broken moan after another.

michael rutted into you, selfishly seeking his own pleasure. he groaned, raising his hand and bringing it down on your ass. hard. hard enough to leave a red knuckle mark in its wake. a gutteral moan escaped you, sinking into the mattress and hiding away your sweet sounds.

"you like that? such a dirty thing.." michael purred and slapped your other cheek with his palm, leaving a stinging sensation. your ass shook with every moment and it had michael mesmerised.

"i wonder what your mom would think of you walking around in those shorts? y'know, with my handprint clear as day because that thing covers nothing.." he was sassing you and it made a chuckle leave your lips which turned into a single pant. you were struggling to keep your eyes open with your air being limited by michael's hand and the mattress.

"m'gonna cum," you cried out into the bed, involuntarily pushing your ass back into michael's pelvis and searching for ecstasy. the air limitation was oddly arousing to you.

"no you're not," michael soothed, stroking your spine, "you can hold it."

"c-can't!" you shivered, reaching forward to grab at anything and finding purchase in a raggedy ann doll. you heard michael awe behind you, "how cute.." he then leaned over your back and trailed kisses down it, only to start back at your shoulder once he hit the small of it and trail bites and hickeys down you.

your pussy clamped down on michael's cock as your body jutted and convulsed. he didn't stop you, only warning you, "if you wanna cum, you can do it all you like.."

you let out a strangled, choked moan as black spots dotted your vision and your orgasm washed over you. michael thrusted harder into you while you fought the urge to pass out. it was all too much: the overstimulation of michael jackhammered into you with fluent, well-trained hips and the last bits of air in your lungs barely surviving with your restless pants.

white cream coated michael's cock, creating a ring at the base of it. your walls were pulsating erratically, greedy for his seed. your brain wanted to stop, but your cunt was loving every second.

michael stared at your braindead form with an animalistic grin in his eyes, "i'm gonna cum, sweet thing. want you to cum again."

all you could do was moan and shake your head, trying to tell him that you couldn't do it again. plunging into you a few more times, michael took his hand off of your head and used both of them to spread your ass again as he came inside you. you let out a weak whine as you felt just as full as before with michael's thick load inside of you. he grunted as he finished riding his high, but he didn't stop.

"gonna fill you up again," he sighed almost dreamily as he listened to your mixed secretions sloshing inside of your womb and leaking down the side of his cock and into your bed.

suddenly, your head was yanked back by your hair. michael had wrapped your hair around his wrist like a leash and pulled. broken breaths came out of you with every harsh rock of michael's hips. your moans were uncontrollably, whimpers and whines escaping you non stop.

your bedroom door no longer concerned you. the skin slapping put you in a trance. your hand planted itself unsurely on your doll for balance.

"michael—awh!" you wanted to cry. his dick was too fucking good. michael cooed in your ear, "s'okay baby, just one more and i'll be out of your hair.." loud moans escaped your open mouth, the dryness being replaced by drool that was now beginning to trickle from the corner of your lips and fown your chin.

"fuck, its so good.." you winced in pleasure, "gonna cum againn!" you squeaked, squeezing your thighs together and getting friction on your clit. "awh! awh! awh! "

"me too.." michael admitted, "let's cum together, yeah?" you nodded, letting out a mhm! you didn't think michael's hips could go any faster, but you were sure there would be bruises all over your ass later into the day. his hand slapped your right ass cheek repeatedly in the same spot, making you yelp and jolt as your orgasm came around again. you gasped and panted, your raspy voice struggling with the intensity of the sex. michael joined you not too much later, filling you once again.

"just a few more f'me, please? i love watching you cum.."

michael made you cum a total of six times and definitely overstayed his welcome by a whole hour. but even now, he was trying to bring you to a seventh by guiding both your fingers inside you to fuck his cum back into your spent cunt.

you were on your back, panting uncontrollably and teetering on the edge of a blackout. both of your fingers were covered in your combined semen. it squelched inside your pussy as michael pushed his and your fingers inside of you. he knelt behind you, your fingers under his.

"can't do it againnn.." you whined, tears spilling down your cheeks and your thighs quivering. your hips would be hovering up and down if it wasn't for michael's free hand pinning you down. the mirror gave both of you a perfect view of the two of your digits deep inside your cunt.

"yes you can, i've seen you," michael bit down on your shoulder which made your head tilt back. you were so close already. just one more pump of your joined fingers and..

you passed out, going limp in michael's arms. your breathing was quick, only the white of your eyes visible as the iris and pupil made a home in the back of your head.

"poor baby.." michael tutted with a hint of a smile. he took your fingers out and got off the bed. he redressed himself, staring at your sleepy form and dragged your duvet over you.

he picked up your discarded underwear, pocketing the pair and leaving you to deal with his cum when you woke up.

#michael afton #michael afton x reader #michael afton smut #michael afton x you #althea writes

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jm-2406 · 7 days

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Hi,

I was wondering if I could make a request for a matt murdock x reader idea. You could make it into a headcannon or a dribble I dont mind ✨.

Basically I’ve always found interesting the idea of matt either loosing his powers or his hearing senses (like in season 3)

So id think about something like that happening to him and the reader helping him found himself in his new routine without his vigilante identity.

(insecure and « in need of love » matt is my weakness jsjs)

Lots of angst but a happy ending if possible

(Also its preferable if reader is just a civilian too)

Thanks 🦋

Love me tender.

Summary - an unfortunate accident almost cost your boyfriend's life but you are there to help him recover, even if he gets emotional and says stupid things.

Pairing - Matt Murdock x teacher!reader.

Word count - 855.

Note - I'm sorry for being so late in delivering this, I got my exam results and it was not good. I was upset, so I couldn't get anything done.

Warnings - rushed ending, mentions of accident/injury, Matt and reader having a heart to heart.

Requests - open || find my work - here.

It came as a shock to you when a phone call disturbed your sleep at 3 a.m. informing you about your boyfriend's accident. You were the only person on his emergency contact and the hospital staff were quick to inform you. When you reached the hospital gates, a fear gripped your heart. You were not sure what happened with Matt exactly but you could make out that it was something very serious from the nurse’s words.

“[Y/N] [Y/L/N], I am here to visit Matt Murdock.” You informed the receptionist. She typed something on her computer and directed you towards the ward. That night, you had the biggest shock of your life as you waited for the doctors and nurses treating Matt.

“It was quite a fatal accident, Miss [Y/L/N]. We're lucky that he survived but he might take some time to recover and from what we have gathered, he might have some problems with his external auditory canal.”

“But… he'll be okay, right? He will recover, right?” You asked him. The doctor nodded his head and left because of another case. It was all up to you now, to let him know. You knew how upset he felt if treated with sympathy, you felt like that too. You just wanted him to recover completely before taking any risks with his life.

A few days later, when you were sitting quietly in the living room and grading the test papers, you heard a cracking sound. Rushing to the kitchen, you saw your boyfriend standing and in front of him, a broken glass. “Are you okay? And what are you doing here?” You carefully reached him and brought him back to your room.

Before you could scold him for being so careless and not resting enough, you saw him sitting quietly, too quietly like a statue. He was holding his mask in his hand. It was high time now, you needed to talk. You placed your hand on his shoulder and got his attention. Matt was still quiet.

“You can't carry on like this, Matt.” You said after a moment of silence.

“I don't know what to do. I'm lost, okay. This feeling… the feeling of being helpless and staying at home all day… it kills me. I feel like I failed.”

“No matt. Please don't say things like that.” Your voice was thick with emotions. “We can go through anything if we are together. Please don't shut me out.”

Matt gave you a sad little smile and you knew that you had a long road ahead of you.

A few days passed with you and Matt adjusting to the new life without his vigilante identity. It was a struggle in the beginning but slowly, he recovered… at least physically.

One evening, you were sitting on the couch, watching one of your favourite films when you noticed Matt standing in the corner, lost in his thoughts. “What happened, babe? You alright?” You rushed to him and to your surprise he jerked your hands off him. That had never happened before.

“I think we should take a break.”

“What?” To say you were shocked would be an understatement. You didn't know what came over him suddenly.

“Yes, [Y/N]… we should.” He sounded serious.

“But, at this point? I don't understand Matt. What happened?”

“Because I can't give you a normal life, [Y/N]. Why is it so difficult for you to understand that? You were sitting there, all peacefully, watching a move. We couldn't do that together, or anything normal couples do. How many times we had to cancel our plans because of me being daredevil and trying to save the city. You don't need to go through all of this. You deserve better, [Y/N].” He breathed hard after his confession, sightless eyes following where your figure should be.

“Leave it to me to decide what and who I deserve. I love you, Matt. I know that I never said it before, I didn't want to push you away. I don't want ‘normal’, I just want you.” By the end of it, you had wrapped your arms around his neck and forced him to sit down. It was one of the few raw moments you shared.

“I'm sorry.” He said after a few minutes of silence. “Promise me, you won't do anything stupid like this again.” You asked, gently massaging his scalp. Matt just nodded his head. You knew that you had a long road ahead of you but you were satisfied with the journey. In the end it's just you two, together.

THE END.

#writers on tumblr #matt murdock x reader #𝐣 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 #daredevil #marvel mcu #marvel #matthew murdock #matt murdock #matt murdock x you #matt murdock one shot #requests

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nutzgunray-lvt · 6 months

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Class 1A Dynamics (Part 2)

This is going to be consolidated, so I apologize for the long length, but it's going to serve as a conclusion as to why I believe Class 1A's reputation as a found family is undeserved.

In my opinion, the Final Exam arc and Forest Camp arc is when we start to see the cracks in Class 1A's dynamics, as well as their more problematic moments that don't match how they supposedly are as characters. We do get really nice moments of Momo offering her home and services as a tutor to a handful of her classmates (Jirou's interactions with Momo's mom were really cute), but that's it.

Kirishima hears from Bakugou's former middle school friends how they and Bakugou bullied Izuku for his Quirklessness... and promptly ignores it. Mr. Anti Bully hears that the role model he looks up to was/is a bully, and does NOTHING about it. Not even when Bakugou gets them kicked out of whatever place they were studying at and blames IZUKU for it does he do anything other than say, "Lol, classic Bakugou!"

One of the biggest moments, in my opinion, is when Ochako, Ida, Momo, and Tsu (I think it was them? I can't remember) have no objections to Bakugou backhanding Izuku. They hear Recovery Girl saying that they have no communication... and take it at face value. No trying to stand up for him, no saying that Bakugou's the instigator between them, nothing.

(To say nothing how Sero failed the exam for being taken out of the arena unconcious, even though Bakugou passed despite ALSO being unconcious when he was dragged out of the arena 🙄)

The actual camp itself was pretty nice in regard to student interactions. Shouji was worried for both Tokoyami and Izuku (Izuku looked so cute being carried by Shouji 🥹), and Izuku made sure not to place Bakugou's safety over Tokoyami's when Dark Shadow went on its rampage. Tokoyami in turn was perfectly willing to sacrifice his life for Izuku, Shouji, and everyone else's safety. Aoyama risks his life and position as the traitor by clearing a path for Bakugou to get to camp. It was extremely annoying how Todoroki had to keep telling Bakugou not to run towards the villains and not to make the poison gas worse by using his Quirk (collateral damage is a concept Bakugou doesn't give a FUCK about), but I guess that was nice or whatever.

Then came the rescue.

Shouji aknowledges how guilty Izuku and Todoroki must feel about Bakugou's kidnaping, and then Kirishima and Tsu get into an arguement about whether or not to leave the rescue to the adults. I HATE how Kirishima guilted Izuku into joining the rescue. Izuku had broken limbs and a high fever to the point of having seizures. He was unconscious for three days, and for him to be told, "You can still reach him with your arms!" when everyone in class knows Bakugou would (and DID!) refuse Izuku's help is disgusting. In theory, it's nice how they take Bakugou's ego and feelings into account when they decide a small team is going to rescue him (I'll have more to say on that later). But then, Ida tries convincing Izuku not to go... by punching his sick and injured friend hard in the face. Ida, what the FUCK? Did he ever apologize for doing that?

And then not only does Bakugou not ever thank Momo, Ida, Todoroki, Kirishima, and Izuku for rescuing him and risking their place at UA, Aizawa then acts as though the class needs to regain his trust (even though they had no idea the rescue team went through with their plan) when it really should be the other way around. Great father figure he is, right?

So they move to the dorms, and we get a really nice moment where Tsu tearfully apologizes for saying that the rescue team were acting villanous in saving Bakugou. This is all well and good, but then we get to the Licensing Exam. As awesome as it was to see Ida helping Aoyama secure a place in the final round, as awesome as it was seeing everyone defer to Izuku's judgment, it all was completely undone by the bullshit house arrest.

I've gone on and on about how it's my least favorite part of the entire story, but seeing 1A not aknowledge Bakugou's bullying of Izuku yet again really soured my opinion on them. Ida especially gets the brunt of my criticism here, because as one of Izuku's best friend, he should have figured that Izuku not only didn't want to break curfew, he's NEVER looked for a fight when it came to Bakugou. And then when Izuku apologizes (barf) for defending himself, they all accept it like he did something wrong.

I HATE it, and for a while, I hated 1A because of it.

Then we get some smaller moments between that and the stupid Dark Izuku arc that are pretty nice. They express worry and relief for those involved in Eri's rescue, Izuku encourages Jirou to not be afraid to express herself musically, and Mina teaches Aoyama how to dance before the School Festival. Everyone criticizes Izuku for running around and trying to get candy apple ingredients for Eri, and they make fun of him for getting in trouble after the Gentle Criminal fight, blah blah blah. No one cheers for him or encourages him during his mock interview with Mt. Lady, but whatever.

Then Izuku leaves UA.

Not ONCE do ANY of Class 1A consider why he left, even though he literally tells them in the goddamn letters he left for them. Not once do they call out Bakugou for being the actual reason he has such low self-esteem and self sacrifical tendancies. Not once do they consider having just his closest friends find him and bring him back. After all, most of them admit they don't really know Izuku on a personal level. They don't even stand up for Momo when he jumps down her throat for not calling him by his stupid hero name.

Nope, they all decide to just bumrush him and let Bakugou lead the charge.

They let Bakugou make fun of him, project his own flaws onto him, and not once aknowledge that Izuku is neither in the physical condition nor mental condition to be hearing any of that. They then quite literally beat him into submission. Sure, some of the classmates try saying nice things to him about how he helped all of them (Dark Shadow was so gentle with Izuku 🥺), but Sato tries guilt tripping him about Eri, which is just gross.

Then comes the infamous Youtube Apology, where Bakugou talks about Izuku's Quirklessness and how that made him lesser than Bakugou in his eyes. No one reacts to any of this, and instead of just letting Izuku sleep or getting him to the fucking doctor, they throw him in a bath like that'll fix anything. We do get an awesome moment where Tokoyami and Sato call out Bakugou for bullying Izuku again despite supposedly apologizing, but that's chump change, considering what all they put Izuku through.

And then comes the traitor reveal.

I don't blame 1A for being angry at Aoyama, considering how his actions put everyone in danger, but I think it's so strange due to two things. One, Aoyama was clearly coerced into being a traitor. His parents were the ones who made the deal with AFO, and Aoyama was obviously remorseful for his actions. Two, just look at Bakugou. He was the one who not only ran towards the villains in the first place, but everyone had to keep him from making everything worse when they were trying to protect him.

And yet who's the one that gets treated with consideration and kid gloves?

Bakugou.

I can't say anything about the Final War, because everything is so fucking messy, but I guess I will say how nice it is that the class protects the girls from Mineta's sexual harrassment and don't take it laying down.

To close off, Hori did a piss poor job in showing organic development of 1A as supposed super close friends and found family. They all deserved better than what they wound up becoming, and it's just really sad all around.

#anti katsuki bakugou #izuku deserves better #anti shota aizawa #mha critical #bnha critical #horikoshi critical #class 1a critical #ejirou kirishima critical #tenya ida critical #yuuga aoyama deserves better

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stem-sister-scuffle · 3 months

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STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 2 MASHUP 2

Honey Lemon (Big Hero 6) vs Ema Skye (Ace Attorney)

Honey Lemon is a Chemist!

Ema Skye is a Forensic Scientist!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Honey Lemon:

"She applies her science into being a kickass superhero"

"She's so nice and enthusiastic about science. She's funny :)"

"She loves chemistry and wants to make the world a better place through it! She’s always optimistic and upbeat no matter what!!! Cute girlies in STEM!!!!!"

"her excitement for science is so palpable it’s my favorite part of the movie. she’s ECSTATIC about the elements and making chemical reactions just to see what happens!! not to mention she’s smart as FUCK! she created chemical formulas on the fly as she fights bad guys. CHEMISTRY is her superpower. she’s cute hehe"

"Her name is Honey Lemon. That's the cutest name I've ever heard. She's also described as having an innate talent in Chemistry, as well as a groundbreaking chemist. In her hero gear she has a Chem-Purse, which has a typepad of the periodic table which she can press on to make into a dense ball of any element she wishes, and during active battle she can calculate and input chemical formulas at incredible speeds without even having to look at it. Girlboss behaviour!! She also made a 400 pound ball of tungsten carbide turn into DUST before she became a hero when she was only a university student. She's not even a girlboss anymore she's a girlCEO. I had the BIGGEST crush on her when I was young. My Bi awakening. I love her so much you don't even know 💛"

Ema Skye:

"I love her a lot and she's very important to me. We get to see her story from being a high school student who's really into science, to becoming a detective, to then finally passing her forensics exam and becoming a forensic scientist like she always wanted. I cosplayed her before"

"Ema has been interested in forensics ever since she was a kid. She's extremely passionate about it. She works very hard and despite bumps along the way she does manage to achieve her dreams/career goal and get into forensic science. She is amazing and I love her enthusiasm and I love her :D When she was like 16 she personally had her own spray bottle(s) of luminol testing fluid, what a dork (in the best way!). Forensic science is practically her whole life. What an inspiration. The first thing on her wiki page is the quote "Yes! Isn't it amazing? Ah, the power of science. It's my life." Bless."

"this girl is so silly. Her favorite thing is luminol. You have an ace attorney pfp you know her. She is my favorite ever. She calls Klavier Gavin a "glimmerous fop" (accurate description). She wears a lab coat over her school uniform. She brings snacks to crime scenes.i love her your honor"

"shes like every enthusiastic autism girl with a science special interest who then gors to college and gets a job and is tired and a mean lesbian but still is a freak about forensics. i love her"

"SHE WORKED SO HARD TO GO INTO FORENSICS. SHE HELPS EVERYONE DO FORENSICS. SHE THEN FAILS WHEN IT COUNTS AND BECOMES BITTER BUT GETS OUT OF THOSE FEELINGS LATER ON. I love her dearly she's so silly and fun when she needs to be, and I think her failure is fascinating but I'm SOOOOO GLAD she was able to become a forensic scientist in the end :)"

"Showed up and gave Apollo random forensics supplies at just the right time. Not sure if this was authorized. Does not Mayte though she can do anything she wants. C’mon man you know her you know why she’s the best you get me right"

"She's fun and good at science and has pink lenses in her glasses and I like her a lot"

"She is so excited to be using her fun little toys to solve crimes."

"She’s a gosh darn professional in a house of fops. Is passionate about her work and was inspired partially by a murder case she was involved in as a witness. She’s really cute and really quirky, and ya girl knows how to snack. She accessorizes really well. I cosplayed as her once and found myself more and more impressed with her style choices as I was putting it together. We stan a fashionable yet practical STEM queen."

"she is literally everythingggg to me. she has wanted to be a forensic scientist since she was 16 y/o and introduces forensic investigation mechanics to the series like luminol and dusting for fingerprints. when she does not get her dream job, she becomes depressed and bitter, only cheering up when she talks about forensic science. later on, when she attains the job, she is much happier! science is her entire life and her career and she is tremendously autistic about it. also she's such a girlboss i love her <3 ema must go through btw. she is the ultimate woman in stem"

"Ema Skye has been interested in forensics for many years due to case that occurred when she was younger. Even though she didn't pass the test to become one at first she had still continued trying till she made it. She always lights up at the mention of anything revolving sciene. She gets so happy when she's able to work with her forensic tools and investigate the crime scene <33"

"Teaches Phoenix wright about forensics"

"she wears a cool lab coat and I don't really know what else to put here but she's neat"

"she is so autistic about forensic science. she goes against the police rules to take fingerprints. she infodumps to anyone who will listen about forensic science. ema is so special to me and I love her very much"

"Ema is a girlboss! She started using forensics and scientific investigation to help solve murders when she was just 15 years old. she autistic and bisexual bc I say so :)"

"Literally the only character in universe that uses hard evidence in trials."

"The skyentific detective…."

"Its literally her personality ok. Just listen to her theme(s). I just love her"

"She is literally me <33 I love her. I need to see her grow up happy and healthy and i need to tell my friends and family about her."

"Wants to be a scientific investigator and solve crimes scientifically, forced to be a cop. Goes from teen with a weird hobby to reluctant cop to everything she ever wanted and I am so proud"

"She’s just a little weirdo. And she keeps trying to be a forensic scientist, but she has to finish high school first. She solved the murder her sister was accused of "

"Forensic science fascinates her. She sure is a woman jn stem. I am sorry I am very tired i dn what to write"

"I need to actually finish AA but it’s her. You probably have more submissions with better reasoning but I like her vibes from what I did play."

"She's got all sorts of cool gadgets which utilize the DS touchscreen"

#stem sister scuffle #round 2 #honey lemon #big hero 6 #big hero 6 the series #bh6 #bh6 the series #ema skye #ace attorney #aa ema skye

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kazemi-archive · 1 year

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Two Week Notice

Pairing: Oikawa Toru x Reader

Word Count: 0.9k

Genre: Angst

Summary: I think that being in love with me felt like a job to you. Not something you really wanted, just something you had to do. And a job well-done is pretty fulfilling but nothing feels as good as going home. You gave me a two-week notice even if you didn't say it explicitly. You didn't have to tell me, I knew that you would leave. A silent resignation, god that's just like you.

Part Fifteen of Desiderium

A/N: If dialogue is in blue, this is irl something that was said to me or by me. Thank you for being here live for my therapy.

I should have seen it coming. The end. Should have noticed that the way Tōru loved me stopped being something that he did actively.

I feel like there’s a difference. Between loving actively and passively.

Actively loving. Falling in love over and over again. Every action breathing commitment and sincerity. The acknowledgement that you will never in your life stop falling in love with them.

Passively loving. Loving someone, who they are and what they’ve done. Not what they could be and could do. Knowing you will never stop being in love with someone, even when you’ve stopped falling.

Sometimes, without a healthy mix between the two… passively loving someone feels more like a job. That’s what I think Tōru felt at the end. That being in love with me felt like a job. I don’t think it’s what he wanted, not anymore at least, just something that he had to do, to keep up with promises, responsibilities.

Passive love without active love is like a job. You go in, you complete your tasks and do your chores, take out the trash and sweep the floors. You give them hugs and kisses, you bring them gifts, you assure them that you’re there no matter what, soothe them when you’re crying. And god it feels good for a while, its full-filling, a job well-done seeing that you’ve made something better. But really, truly, nothing feels as good as going home. As not having to have that responsibility anymore.

I suppose if I call his love for me a job, then it’s only fitting that the signs I ignored should have been his two week notice. Even if it wasn’t said explicitly.

When he started to abbreviate the sentiments we spoke. “Love you” in place of “I love you.” Things I’d deliberately ignored. It was the argument we had two weeks before we ended.

“Please tell me you won’t be disappointed in me if I can’t do it. If I don’t pass.” I’d been crying on the floor of our half-packed closet. The stress overwhelming me as I tried to explain why I couldn’t bring myself to finish the biggest exam of my life to date. The exam that if I didn’t pass would cost me a job offered to me. The fear of disappointing anyone weighing me down, holding me back.

“I’m not going to tell you that. I would be disappointed.” His voice was cold, he looked annoyed. I tried to tell myself that I was overreacting, just tough love-I convinced myself.

“What?” I tried to ignore the crack in my voice as I looked up at him, he couldn’t even look at me.

“I would be disappointed. Because you wouldn’t have even tried.” It felt like the worst thing he could say to me. “I’m done telling you that I wouldn’t be disappointed. I would be, because you’ve had plenty of time to do it. If you fail and don’t get this job; yeah, I’ll be disappointed.” That should have been his two week notice. The ‘I’m done’ slipping past his lips.

I should have known. I’d spent at least a month by the time you left, asking you if we were okay. If I needed to help or change or fix anything. You didn’t have to tell me, I knew that you would leave.

If there’s one thing that working a minimum wage job taught me, its that if people wanna go, you should let them go. Making them stay just makes them resent you. I wonder if that’s what happened with Tōru. If he wanted to go way before he did. If he resented me now. I wouldn’t ask though. Not in a million years. It’s not my business anymore I suppose. I don’t need to know why Tōru wanted to go, only that he didn’t want to stay.

He gave me that unspoken two week notice. The kind you give at a job you know that you’ll be leaving. You stop doing maintenance around. You work a little slower, respond a little less. Don’t pick up the phone when they try to get hold of you on your day off.

The actual resignation was silent. A no-call, no-show to a shift. The kind where your boss has to call you and ask “hey, are you coming in today” only to get your voicemail or your reply that you, in fact, will never be in again. A pause in the conversation. A “Tōru, why aren’t you replying?” A “are you breaking up with me?” Only to find out that he was done.

And god was it infuriating. Like learning that your best worker was actually just as flaky as previous ones. That he wouldn’t pick up when you called, or answer texts. That he’d leave silently instead of giving the respect of letting you know. Makes you feel the same as a job. All the effort and time you put into trying to be better, thrown out the window, disregarded. Overworked and underpaid.

Yeah, maybe Tōru saw me as a job at the end, something to test his patience, give him more skills. Something just to boost his resume. Something where he felt like he did the good thing here… that just because he worked hard for a while it made it hurt less. His “this is the healthiest breakup I’ve ever had”? That one hurt too.

#𓇻 Desiderium

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muneca-lemon-steppa · 4 months

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What are your biggest reflections, lessons learned, and gratitudes for 2023? What are your intentions, goals, and dreams for 2024? Pass this on to 3 blogs you follow!

Hi Chelly my darling!!!! Thank you for this ask!!! Can you believe it’s 2024????? I’m still messing up the dates in my journal lmao.

This is honestly probably going to be a really big response, just because so many things happened this year! As a warning, this does include some talk about DV and religious trauma but there is a happy ending.

Sending all my love to you my angel 💕💕💕

Reflections and Gratitudes

In 2023 a lot of things happened. I had gotten engaged, I graduated from a law school (that brought troubles and triumphs), I studied for the bar exam, took the bar exam, had to break up and go no contact with my fiancé, I found out I failed the bar exam by 6 points, and then I lost a job offer.

I pictured my life completely different. I thought I was going to be a wife. I thought I was going to be a lawyer who lived in their own place. But that isn't what happened. I was so angry at God and I was angry at myself for 'letting' this happen to me.

But I soon realized: The breakup and failing the bar exam is probably the best thing that could have happened to me.

Since I was a kid I had planned out my entire life. My life was supposed to go a particular way because if it didn't go that way that means that no one would love me.

I had convinced myself that there was no way that someone could love me unless I achieved certain things.

It got worse once I went to law school. I don't want to get super into it, because I probably will write about it one day, but it's simple to say that the law profession favors white men and makes it explicitly known.

In my law school, it was heavily propagated that the women who were successful and loved and worthy were the ones who were married, and loved by men. I put heterosexual marriage on a pedestal, thinking that the only way that this gaping hole in my heart would be filled would be by being loved and married to a man. Because I am a woman. I am a religious woman. That's what we're supposed to do right?

And I was so angry at God because I thought I did everything I was supposed to do. I did everything everyone told me to do. I did my best to keep my mouth shut. I spoke well. I studied hard. I let things slide and was gentle. I did everything everyone else told me to do and I changed myself and stifled myself even though it nearly killed me. It still wasn't enough for him. It didn't stop him from wanting to hurt me. Why am I not enough to be loved.

I was so angry... I was angry that I wasnt getting married and that I didn't have this job that brought status. But if I got married and passed that exam, I know I wouldn't have survived. I am alive because those two failures.

Those two 'failures' brought this type of freedom that I have never experienced ever. I feel like a child again. I feel true joy.

I am rediscovering who I am. Who Mo TRULY is. What she likes. What she thinks and wants to say. What she wants to be.

I am revisiting hobbies that I had let slip to the wayside. Because I had put all my energy into trying to be enough for someone who needed something I couldn’t provide. Because all my time was spent agonizing and freaking out about whether or not I would be good enough for a degree I already had and a dream I’ve had since I was a child.

I’m realizing how incredible and fulfilling my female friendships and my familial relationship is. I’ve been in two serious relationships. I’ve nearly been married. Never ever, have I felt the kind of deep and pure love in those romantic relationships that I feel from my friends and family. The love I get from my community is worth so much more to me. I feel it and accept it so much more now.

I’ve gone through so much healing. It has changed me in so many ways. I feel like I am truly connecting with people. I can smile and have joy. People I’ve known since I was in highschool are saying, “You’ve never looked better. I’ve never seen you smile like this.”

I’m taking the bar again in February. I’m nervous of course, but I’m not scared. I’m not terrified that the Earth will explode if I don’t pass. I’m not scared that my family won’t love me. I’m not doing this to gain love. I’m doing this because I want to.

Regarding romantic relationships and the future… I have no idea. Right now I’m still processing what happened to me. I forgive my ex. I won’t call him an abuser, because in our situation I don’t think he was. He wasn’t a narcissist and we did love each other. But he was going through so many things, and I couldn’t help him anymore. He needed more than I could give and wanted a life I could not have or support. We do not talk. We won’t talk. But I do wish him every happiness. I hope that things get figured out and that he lives a good life. I don’t know if I will ever get in a serious romantic relationship again. Right now I don’t see it ever happening again. But who knows. I’m 25. I have my whole life ahead of me. I feel young. And if it doesn’t happen. It’s ok. It’s more than ok. Because I have more love around me and inside than I even know what to do with.

Lessons Learned

There is no need to be perfect. I am loved by my family and my friends UNCONDITIONALLY. I don’t have to be something that I am not. I can just be me. I can just be who I am and still be worthy of love.

I am deserving of respect and a love that is gentle and kind and truthful.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

Not everyone will like you. That is OK.

I deserve to be healthy and I deserve to take time to take care of myself.

#talking with friends #asks #getting personal #growth

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lily-blue · 2 years

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13 reasons why | reason no.6: they have quality supplies and ingredients

☆ characters: freelancer!vernon & supplier!you (Rina - ‘96 liner) ☆ genre: coffee shop au, angst ☆ summary: having differences in a relationship is normal, but Hansol and you look at your relationship a bit too differently ☆ words: 10,1k ☆ massive thank you: to @dat-town ♥ who always makes time for proofreading my stories. i don’t know what i would do without you ☆ taglist: @soobin-chois

➼ chapter index

When you had moved to the capital city, following in your older brother’s footsteps, you had thought that your college years would be the craziest years of your life. You hadn’t thought that one failed Cost and Inventory Control exam would bless you with the clumsiest culinary arts major in history or that said guy would stick by your side even after your graduation.

Before Kim Mingyu, you had been content with your mundane dreams: earning a position in your family business instead of getting one because of your mother, finding a nice, affordable apartment downtown where you didn’t need to share your personal space with your brother and his girlfriend, and settling down with a reliable guy once you expanded your clientele in Seoul, too. You hadn’t wanted much. You hadn’t wished for constant excitement and chaos to feel that you were living your life the right way, but you had gotten those anyway when Kim Mingyu had introduced you to his boss and the new friends he had made at his first full-time job.

You had first met Hansol after you had officially signed a contract with Seungcheol and you had become the shop’s fixed supplier for two years. He had been waiting for his best friend to finish his job interview in the back of the soon-to-be customer area, while you had been about to look for your own to show him the papers with the owner’s fancy stamp on them, when the baker had rushed out of the kitchen from behind the counter and dropped a tray of cookies on the boy’s table.

‘Come here! I want both of you to taste test these before I show them to Seungcheol hyung,’ Mingyu had said, beckoning you closer to their table with his pleading eyes and pouty lips. He had acted as if you had ever said no to him - you hated exercising, yet you had bought a monthly membership to the same gym he attended because he had needed someone who kept the touchy girls away -, when he had known better than anyone how much of a weakling you could be when it came to his wishes. Without his tiresome nagging and life-saver cupcakes, you wouldn’t have passed that damned exam in your second year with flying colours. And you also liked having him around as a friend.

He had introduced you to Hansol before you could have swallowed the first bite and forced a conversation on the two of you as though he had seriously doubted either of you had initiated anything if he hadn’t. You still weren’t sure whether the situation would have been less tense or awkward if you had just sat in silence, but in hindsight, you were grateful for that little extra push.

Because as funny as it was, despite how much you loved romantic gestures and how unsure he was when it came to showing affection, you had fallen for him quickly yet steadily. Your feelings for him in February had already been strong enough to give you courage to confess first, therefore you had poured your heart out to him on his birthday over half a year ago and received his biggest goofy smile in exchange for your words.

The hazy memory of your first kiss with Hansol warmed your heart despite the undeniable hardships in your relationship, hence you pushed the front door of Coffee Carat open with a bashful smile before you collected yourself and called for your best friend.

‘Kim Mingyu! I’m sorry I’m late. There was an accident on the highway,’ you shouted on your way to the storage room, hoping that he had already opened the heavy door for you, because you knew from experience that it was a lot trickier than the other one. That one time you had tried to open it with your arms full, your index finger had stuck between the door and the frame and you had had a bruise under your nail for months.

‘It’s okay, it’s only six minutes,’ Seungcheol reassured you from behind the counter, but you shook your head and kept walking. Luckily, your best friend decided to be merciful this time and met you halfway where he took the paper box out of your hands.

Shooting a grateful smile in his direction, you watched as he carried the fruit syrups to where they belonged, then looked around in the shop and wondered where the others could have been. There might have still been an hour until they opened Coffee Carat for the customers, but most of the time, the employees were already cleaning the customer area by the time you arrived.

You walked up to Seungcheol, but refrained from leaning your elbows on the counter to not give them more work than they had. It wasn’t that you thought you were dirty, but they were your first clients that day and you had come here from your parents’ company near Hwasun. The long drive and the unreasonably warm weather these past weeks made you feel as if you couldn’t have had enough showers a day.

‘Still, I prefer to be punctual. You’re my client now, Seungcheol, not my friend,’ you shook your head in a scolding manner with a small smile in the corner of your mouth.

Seungcheol put aside the 10.000 ₩ bills he had been counting and looked at you.

‘That’s disappointing. And a bit embarrassing considering the favour I was about to ask for,’ he claimed, giving more flavour to his words with a sad pout. It was painfully obvious that he was messing with you, but you took the bait anyway.

‘Oh?’ You let out a curious sound, leaning a bit closer to him over the counter, but before you could have asked for more details, Junhui and Seokmin came out of the staff only area and demanded a piece of your attention.

You couldn’t see it, but Seungcheol watched your interaction with the boys with a fond smile as you explained to them where to look for the boxes you had brought for them, then stepped to the coffee machine and turned it on. This time, you delivered basic ingredients, syrups and five sacks of roasted coffee beans. It was a relatively small order, but essential nevertheless.

When you turned back to Seungcheol, he placed a cup of iced latte in front of you, served in the recycled plastic cup you had brought for them a month ago. He clicked his tongue when you tried to fish your wallet out of your worn belt bag to pay for it, then leaned against the sink behind his back when you said: ‘Thank you.’

‘It’s nothing, so let’s get back to that favour,’ he started, linking his arms in front of his chest. You took a sip from your latte. ‘I’ve already told you about the extra order because of the free coffees we will serve for the customers, so it’s about the after party,’ he said with a sheepish smile, his gaze falling on his shoes for a couple of seconds before he cleared his throat and looked up at you. ‘I’m gonna propose after closing time. There will be shortcakes and gallons of iced tea. We would be happy if you came.’

To say it wasn’t the favour you had expected would have been an understatement. Heck. If it had been a real thing, your jaw would have definitely dropped to the floor the moment your brain processed what was going on. After being in a relationship for no longer than one year, Seungcheol was about to propose to his girlfriend. Your grip around the plastic cup tightened. You didn’t understand how he could sound so sure of his decision when it affected his whole life. And not just his, but Hoyeon unnie’s as well.

One year was barely anything. It flew by so quickly.

‘Are you sure about this?’ The question fell from your lips before you could have held it back and you felt horrible for sounding so doubtful when you had no right to question his timing. It wasn’t your relationship. As a friend, you should have been happy for him and promised him that you would be there.

‘Obviously. I mean…’ Seungcheol tried to come up with a reassuring reply, but got cut off in mid sentence when Mingyu walked up to you and bumped his arm into yours.

‘Oh come on, noona!’ He nagged, his tone similar to the one he always used when he was convinced he knew better. By now, you didn’t have to look at him to know he was rolling his eyes. ‘We are all friends even if you have a boss kink during business hours,’ he teased with a shiteating grin that indicated: he had overheard your conversation when you had called Cheol your client instead of your friend.

‘Kim Mingyu!’ You screamed, punching his upper arm for saying something so crude in front of another person. He knew damn well how much it irked you when someone talked about bedroom matters in public. ‘I was talking about the proposal.’

Your small voice brought down the mood in a matter of seconds. You wished you could have taken back what you had just said. Heck. What had happened to your filters all of a sudden? This wasn’t you.

It was frustrating, the awkward silence that slowly closed up your pipes and suffocated you. However, it was all on you, so you should have stopped feeling sorry for yourself and started doing something to make up for the damage you had done. You could only imagine how uncomfortable Seungcheol must have felt after he had taken such a low bow right in the guts.

‘Of course I am,’ the eldest spoke when your words have visibly failed both you and Mingyu. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, but you forced yourself to act like a decent human being. ‘I’ve liked Hoyeon since I first saw her in my clothes. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, Kkuma, and our future kids. I have no reason to wait another year or two,’ he claimed, and if you had wanted to be a hundred percent honest, you found his confidence admirable. You wished you could have been so sure about your own relation—

The moment you realised your real reason for acting like an insecure bitch, shame washed over your entire body, leaving nothing but regret in its wake.

‘You’re right, I crossed a line. I’m sorry,’ you apologised immediately, hoping that the little crack in your voice didn’t take away from your sincerity.

Your friends exchanged a worried glance, then shifted their focus on your clearly frustrated figure. It was rare that you apologised so soon even when you were in the wrong - they had seen you avoid Hansol for a week when he had forgotten your birthday although you had never told him when it was or whether you had taken the date off your social media platforms because you didn’t like celebrating it -, and while they appreciated the gesture, your actions were uncharacteristic hence concerning.

Feeling uncomfortable under the spotlight, you bit into your left cheek from the inside.

‘It’s okay. I know it sounds rushed, but we’ve already talked about the future with her. I’m confident,’ Seungcheol said, his tone reassuring for which you were ridiculously grateful. It would have destroyed you if you had ruined his happiness. Especially because you knew how he looked after everyone around him, how amazing of a father he was for his puppy, and how much he adored everything about his significant other (even her flaws). If anyone was ready for this enormous step from your friends, it was him. And you really, truly wished him all the good things in the world.

‘I’m happy for you,’ you said, this time, with a lighter heart.

The elder’s carefree chuckle filled the cracks your bitter question had left on your friendship and set your messed up life straight. You reciprocated his gummy smile with your own.

‘Good. Then show up and celebrate with us,’ he replied, shooting one last smile at you before he turned back to the cash register, placed the bills into the right compartments, and walked back to his office.

Taken aback by the elder’s nonchalance, you stood in front of the counter with slightly parted lips until you noticed your best friend’s eyes on you and his silence pulled you back to reality. You turned towards him and raised a brow.

‘What?’

‘He will propose on their anniversary. It’s the kind of thing you’re a sucker for,’ he pointed out, rightfully so. The two of you knew each other for years. He had seen you swooning over cheesy couples on Valentine’s Day, crying because of the sappiest romantic comedies in his Netflix history, and he had witnessed you falling head over heels for fictional characters due to forehead kisses and backhugs.

Getting proposed to on an anniversary? It should have made you weak in the knees.

‘It took me off guard,’ you defended, but one look at your friend’s face was enough to know he didn’t believe you. Stupid Kim Mingyu and his ability to read you like an open book. ‘Just drop it. I’m happy for them.’

Mingyu opened his mouth to tell you something - most probably, to throw a prying question at you because of your behaviour -, but Junhui and Seokmin chose the exact same moment to come up to him and ask him about the cupcakes in the oven, so you used this opportunity to take your leave.

With your lukewarm iced latte, you reminded the boys of your other deliveries, then waved and walked out of the shop. You tried not to think of the lingering awkwardness or your best friend’s worried albeit suspicious eyes on you.

You weren’t ready to acknowledge the elephant in the room. Because once you did, you knew you would need to talk to Hansol about your insecurities, too; and the mere thought of telling him how damn uncertain you were about where your relationship was heading felt too much to handle.

You didn’t want to hurt him.

And you sure as hell didn’t want to suffer the consequences. What if he had broken up with you?

In the next couple of days, you successfully avoided Mingyu’s interrogation. However, it was as clear as day that your thoughts were slowly poisoning your mind. You were stressed, and nothing seemed to be able to soothe your nerves, not even the quality time you spent with the guys.

‘And then Miri threw away the second straw so that we had no other choice but to drink the milkshake with one. She said she saw it in a kdrama, but I called bullshit. I know for a fact that Nam Joohyuk’s character in Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bokjoo got rid of the second drink, not the straw!’ Seungkwan claimed while he recited the happenings of his latest date with his girlfriend. Or was it about his first date with her? You didn’t pay enough attention to tell.

‘You could have asked for an extra straw at the counter. I’m sure they would have given you one for free,’ Chan reasoned; and you nodded along with his words on instinct, although your gaze was stuck on the strawberry-chocolate shortcake on your plate. It had no whipped cream between its layers this time because Mingyu knew you didn’t like its taste, and he had baked a full tray with you in mind.

You wondered whether it was his way of bribing you.

‘You aren’t listening.’ Hansol’s statement came as a whisper, and from the other’s reaction, it was clear that you were the only one who had heard him.

You shrugged and cut off a smaller bite from the dessert with your fork.

‘I’m sure it’s not the only time we will hear about these details,’ you retorted just as quietly.

What you really wanted to say, however, was that you would have loved to go on a date like that. But you couldn’t make yourself say those words even when it was just the two of you, so it was impossible with your friends around. You opted for silence.

Your body tensed when Hansol pulled his chair closer to yours and slid his big palm on your nape. It wasn’t romantic. On the contrary, you had seen him do this numerous times already when one of his closest friends was upset. Yet, the small circles his thumb drew on your skin and his closeness brought you comfort nevertheless.

You let out a sigh and lifted the next bite on your fork in front of his mouth, smiling back at him when he pulled the dessert off of the cutlery with a goofy grin.

He didn’t have to spell it out for you, you could tell from one glance that he wanted you to know that whatever bothered you wasn’t the end of the world. And deep down you knew he was right. Because at moments like this, your doubts were nowhere to be found. You could see yourself in a happy relationship with him for a long, long time.

Taking advantage of your boyfriend’s touchier moments, you sucked in your lower lip and leaned your head on his shoulder. It felt nice when instead of tuning into a stone under you, he adjusted his hand on your nape and held you still with his palm on your side.

‘I’m here,’ he whispered into your hair, making you smile so brightly, not even Seungkwan’s “I know what you’re doing” glances could ruin your mood. You put an end to the younger’s teasing with a pseudo-annoyed eye roll, then shoved a forkful of strawberry shortcake into your mouth and fed Hansol again.

Because seriously, this was all your heart needed to be put at ease. A little bit of affection and a few reassuring words that you weren’t the only one who cared.

The closer Seungcheol and Hoyeon’s anniversary got, the more stressed you became, but because of the current expansion of your clientele, everyone assumed that you were worried about your unusually big orders and how you would complete them in time.

Everyone, except Kim Mingyu.

‘You know I won’t hurt him just because you’re fighting again,’ he said when you walked into the coffee shop’s kitchen after closing time, yet failed to tease him because of the mess he had made with the flour while he had been preparing some overnight dough for the next morning. Keeping eye contact, you raised a brow in question, but remained silent with your shoulder leaned against the wall. You were too tired to make guesses, especially because you were afraid that you would have talked about two different things if you had. ‘Just because most people think I’m a himbo, I’ve got the brains. The proposal. It’s because of him that you’re not as enthusiastic about it as you otherwise would be,’ he gave you context, his tone neutral, but the furrow between his brows screaming concern.

Your shoulders dropped as you sighed. You should have known that he hadn’t forgotten about your awkward reaction to Seungcheol’s invitation.

‘We’re not fighting,’ you stated plainly, because in your dictionary, none of your arguments with Hansol fitted that category. It was never about screaming and putting the blame on each other with him. When your opinions and ideas didn’t match, sooner or later you talked them out calmly, then moved forwards as one. The both of you would have rather given space to the other instead of hurting them with words you didn’t mean. This was why it was so hard to confront him about your recent insecurities. Because the moment you brought them up, he would inevitably get hurt. ‘I just don’t get it.’

You didn’t understand how Seungcheol and Hoyeon were so sure of their relationship or how it could be so different from yours when you loved Hansol just as much. Was it because you spent less time together? But you still saw each other in person at least once or twice a week; and you also had your endless conversations on kakao. He knew more about what was going on in your life than your brother and you lived with the latter.

‘Do you want him to propose, too?’ Your best friend asked, making you choke on air with his question.

‘I thought you said you’re smart,’ you scoffed, unsure whether you should have laughed at him or punched him in the face for assuming something so ridiculous. You might have been a romantic at heart, but you definitely weren’t ready for marriage.

Mingyu rolled his eyes and turned back to his notebook where he jotted down numbers like the amount of cakes and baked goods they had failed to sell that day from each type.

‘Well, you’re confusing,’ he grumped, coaxing a genuine albeit weak chuckle out of you with his childish retort.

To show Mingyu how much you appreciated his friendship, you pushed yourself away from the wall and walked up to the table he was working on. You grabbed a food container and a pair of plastic gloves, then put those desserts in it that he had already counted. You worked in silence for a couple of minutes before he asked:

‘Hey, are you two alright, though?’

Were you? You couldn’t tell for sure. You had little to no relationship experience outside of your current one with Hansol. And while you had heard about your best friend’s girlfriends through the years and you could also see how your friends acted with their significant others around, you were too self-conscious to ask for their advice. Was it normal that you hadn’t kissed your boyfriend since you had confessed? Should you have held hands more? Were you allowed to hug him in public even when it wasn’t him who initiated PDA?

You felt like most high schoolers could have answered these questions, and it was frustrating that unlike them, you couldn’t.

‘He said he’ll walk me home,’ you spoke up eventually, closing another container of sweets in the meantime.

You had come to Coffee Carat after your last delivery because Hansol had wanted to ask for your opinion on the SNS game he had come up with for the coffee shop’s anniversary. The two of you had customised them for different platforms - not just for Instagram, which was his original idea - while you had been munching on brownies; and once you had no more creative energy to spare, you had decided to take a detour to his favourite non-stop vinyl and CD shop a corner from your place. You planned to take notes for future gift ideas since you had already bought him funny socks for his birthday. Buying another pair for Christmas would have been lame.

‘Thanks for the brownies,’ you said when you filled the last container and grabbed one from the top of the pile.

Smiling at the face Mingyu made - he knew you had come to the kitchen because of the free food they gave away to their friends after closing time, you really didn’t understand why he still feigned annoyance whenever you did this -, you patted his shoulder and turned your back to him. You were already near the doorstep when his words reached you and stopped you in the tracks.

‘It’s cliché, but it’s a good one: you should tell him if something’s bothering you,’ he said and you hummed in contemplation.

‘It’s silly,’ you came to the same conclusion again. This resurfacing uncertainty you felt could have easily been only in your head. Was it really worth a confrontation that could lead to you hurting Hansol?

‘No, it’s not. It’s bothering you, so it’s important,’ your best friend claimed, his effort to make you see that you shouldn’t have dealt with your inner struggles alone warming your chest. It meant a lot to you: that he saw your internal conflicts and offered more than just to listen.

You stole a glance at him from above your shoulder and smiled.

‘Good night, Mingyu,’ you said, waving at him with your empty hand until he reciprocated the gesture and wished you the same.

On your way to Hansol, you recalled Mingyu’s advice at least a dozen times, but you failed to muster up your courage. However, you told yourself that it was fine because changing one’s way of thinking was a difficult task.

What mattered was that you felt a bit less hesitant when you thought of confrontation and that you had fun with Hansol on your semi-impromptu date. Success was all about baby steps.

You had never seen as many people at Coffee Carat as many you did on its anniversary; and you had already attended the grand opening a year ago and had many opportunities to see the crowd during holiday seasons and peak times.

Once the initial shock wore off, you fished your phone out of your bag and opened your chat with Hansol so that you could send him a picture of the mass and all those people who had their own portable cup in their hands. It seemed his posts on social media had reached a lot of people this time as well, and you felt really proud of him - and low-key worried about the coffee shop’s daily income, but that was Seungcheol’s problem, not yours. Who had told him to give out free coffee for an entire day to everyone who came by with their own thermos? You could have bet, he hadn’t expected so many participants.

Amused, you stood in the line with your own cup and bought an extra slice of carrot cake to support your friend’s business. It was already past nine thirty, so you hoped you would find someone familiar in the customer area that was in serious lack of empty tables.

‘Chan is in the back with Miri and the ‘95 gang,’ Yeseo informed you with one of her bright smiles as she pointed at tables the guys had pushed together for their enormous group. Now that you were observing them from afar, they didn’t seem that hard to notice.

‘Thank you,’ you replied nevertheless before you took your iced latte from her and grabbed your cake with your other hand.

Anxious wouldn’t have been the best word to describe how you felt while you were walking towards your friends and close acquaintances, but the symptoms were similar. Your heart was beating like crazy and your skin was clammy around your cup. You wished you could have arrived with Hansol, but he was working with Jihoon on something mysterious and you knew better than to disturb those two in the studio. Damned Kim Mingyu and his need to handle the kitchen by himself on such an important day when you knew Seokmin had offered him his help. You would need to talk to Seungcheol and ask him to consider hiring another baker, because your best friend loved his busy job too much to complain to his boss and Seokmin couldn’t work too many days beside his masters. Hell, Mingyu should have finished for the day three hours ago. Actually, he had been supposed to meet you at around five, but all you had gotten were a couple of text messages: a pouty selfie, a cancelled dinner date, and a promised free boba on his next day off.

‘Here! Sit with me,’ you heard Miri call for your name when you were about to take a seat between Chan and Jeonghan. You furrowed your brows in confusion, but complied with her wish nevertheless. ‘Believe me, you’ll thank me later.’

Since you had never hung out with the whole group at once, you weren’t familiar with their different dynamics; thus you chose to accept Miri’s explanation and didn’t ask any questions.

The answer came to you soon after, anyway, in the form of the blonde man’s obsession with their maknae and his failed attempts to make his girlfriend jealous in the process. You didn’t know why he would have assumed that Yoohyeon would be bothered by him calling Chan his baby over and over in front of everyone, because if anyone, it was the young boy who seemed to be on the verge of throwing fists by the time you finished your dessert.

And while you were genuinely worried about Jeonghan’s physical well-being (and Chan’s mental health) at certain points during their conversation, at least time flew faster in their company. You didn’t even have to talk too much to feel included.

Hansol and Jihoon got to the closed shop when the guys finished rearranging the tables that were forming a semicircle in the back of the customer area. A part of you wanted to walk up to them and greet your boyfriend with a peck on his cheek, but you quickly brushed aside the idea because of how many people were waiting for Seungcheol to come out of his office and ask the big question.

Instead, you waved him from beside Miri and Seungkwan, and waited patiently until his steps came to a halt on your side.

‘Did we miss anything important? Agrr, we totally lost track of time, but we finished the first demo of the title track,’ Hansol said, his half-apologetic, half-excited gaze shifting from his best friend to Miri before it landed on you.

‘Nothing important. Hyung is in his office with Hoyeon noona. They should come out soon,’ Seungkwan said at the same time you explained:

‘Seokmin and Joshua are in the kitchen with Mingyu. They’re waiting for Seungcheol’s sign with the shortcakes.’

Right on cue, the love birds walked out from the staff only area, surprise evident on Hoyeon’s face as her lips parted slightly and her eyes grew twice their size. Since you were aware that she had known about the proposal, you had assumed that she had known about the details as well. However, the yelp that left her throat when she noticed Seungcheol on his knee made it obvious that she wasn’t expecting anything.

‘Hoyeon-ah…’

‘Yes! Oh my God, Cheol! Yes, I’ll marry you,’ Hoyeon exclaimed before she dropped on her knees in excitement and wrapped her hands around her boyfriend’s neck. The sight was truly heart-warming.

‘Yah! Honey, I had a whole speech. Why are you like this?’ Seungcheol whined, lips pouty, but arms firm around his lover. It was clear even from a distance that he was too content to be upset about the girl’s unexpected reaction, which meant that the guys could finally bring in the dessert.

As you watched Seungcheol while he put the engagement ring on his girlfriend’s finger, you joined the rest of your friends and clapped your hand enthusiastically, giggling at the hollers and ridiculous good-luck wishes that filled the atmosphere. You were happy to be present in their lives at such an important moment and made a mental note to compensate Seungcheol for your initial reaction. After today, you knew he wouldn’t have refused to receive an extra sack of roasted coffee beans for free when you delivered his next order.

Trying not to be the first person who jumped on the shortcakes, you waited patiently for the others to walk up to the counter, then pulled on Hansol’s hoodie to urge him to move.

‘Congratulations,’ you smiled at the happy couple as soon as you got near them, then pulled them in an awkward semi-hug to whisper your own wishes in their ears. You wanted them to be happy and live a long and healthy life. You were a cliche romance book on two legs; you told everything to them that old people told young couples in love.

‘Thank you. We’re happy you came,’ Seungcheol said as soon as he pulled away, then ruffled your hair with affection and gave more space to his fiancée to do the same. They were so touchy, you once again wondered whether this was what was missing from your relationship with Hansol.

You quickly brushed aside the idea before it could have ruined your mood. This night wasn’t about you or your boyfriend. It was about your friends and their future life together.

But then, when you finally reached the counter, you noticed how every couple in the coffee shop looked cosy in each other’s company. Even Minghao’s arms were hanging around his girlfriend’s frame while they were talking with Jun and munching on their separate desserts. Was it so bad that you wanted the same?

Sure, you understood that Hansol wasn’t a big fan of PDA - and honestly, you weren’t, either -, but he had his moments, too, when he nuzzled closer to you in public and tonight was a big step in your friends’ life. The lingering mood around you was more romantic than on any Valentine’s Day or White Day could have been (holidays that were supposed to celebrate love yet you had willingly skipped both to not come off as too pushy).

You refused to believe you couldn’t have a cute relationship, too. Therefore, when you saw Seungkwan stealing another kiss from Miri’s whipped cream-coated lips, you decided to be a little braver and stood on your tiptoes to press a chaste peck on Hansol’s cheek.

Pulling away, there were a couple of scenarios in your head that you expected. The hopeless romantic in you anticipated a cheek or forehead kiss in return; the pessimist thought he would lean down to your ear and ask you whether everything was alright; a realistic part of you was sure he would turn into a blushing statue and completely forget to react in any other way.

As you were fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, you came to the conclusion that the third and most likely option wasn’t so bad after all, but then your boyfriend turned towards you with his entire body and the look on his face tugged on your organs; you felt nauseous.

‘Why did you do that?’ He asked, genuine confusion lacing his words. He had looked exactly the same when you had won him a keychain with the claw machine on your second date on your first try. The memory would have made you smile on any other day, but this time, your lips were pressed together into a pale, firm line.

‘What do you mean, why? Because I’m your girlfriend?’ You retorted, cheeks a few shades darker because of the sudden attention the ones nearest to you gave you. You hated how your statement sounded more like a question, but what had been done had already been done. You had to deal with it like an adult.

Hansol tilted his head and narrowed his eyes with a hint of a smile in the corner of his mouth. It was a facial expression you were familiar with, yet it brought you no comfort. You wished you could have backed out of the situation before the inevitable happened, but one look at the playfulness in his eyes was enough to make you realise: it was too late.

‘Since when?’ He asked, triggering your deepest insecurities with his careless question. You knew he didn’t know about your fears regarding your relationship. You also knew that it had been you who had decided to keep them a secret. However, his inconsideration didn’t hurt less from the additional knowledge.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes as some sort of defence mechanism. If he wanted to make a joke of your relationship in front of your friends, you could join in the fun. You could keep pretending for a little longer that it wasn’t a big deal.

You would need to talk to Hansol about your doubts in private, though. Because Mingyu was right, it was long overdue. You should have never let things get this far. It didn’t matter that you hated confrontation so much, the mere idea made you nervous.

‘Very funny, Hansol. Since your birthday, obviously,’ you replied with pseudo-nonchalance while you reached out for another shortcake just to do something, anything other than staring at him with your limbs frozen. You felt utterly pathetic.

The situation got more embarrassing when you took a small bite from the delicious dessert and noticed the heavy silence that fell on your group. It wasn’t only your closest friends who were paying attention to your conversation anymore; it was everyone except Yeseo who was sleeping with her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder and Yoohyeon who was casually sipping on her black coffee next to them.

You clenched your jaw when your gaze met your best friend’s, then turned to your boyfriend, irritated. You were angry with him because he had chosen the worst reaction to your cheek kiss. But you were also angry with yourself because you should have known better than to press your lips against his skin in front of everyone.

‘What?’ You spat, pale fingers squeezing the shortcake too much to not leave a mess on your hand.

Hansol’s face was expressive. You could pinpoint the exact moment the seriousness of your conversation hit him just by looking at it. You couldn’t decide who you should have felt more sorry for: him or yourself.

‘Wait! Are you serious?’ He asked, eyebrows furrowed and movements uncertain. Hansol’s arms fell back by his sides with a half-eaten shortcake in his dominant hand, while his right leg jerked eagerly, but didn’t move forward to lessen the distance between the two of you.

Staring at him, all you could think about was: damn, this idiot got both the look and the talent to become an actor.

‘No one’s laughing, Hansol. Quit it!’ You reprimanded, not understanding his purpose. What did he want to gain with this nonsense? You could have seen the reasons behind his actions if anyone had found his performance funny, but based on the deafening silence, they were just as dumbfounded as you. (Although you were too afraid to meet their eyes to check it. What if they were all grinning and smiling at your misery because it was a prank?)

You would have never thought that you would have ever wished to be pranked as much as you did when you noticed the undeniable seriousness in your boyfriend’s chocolate orbs. His lingering gaze closed your windpipe; you felt dizzy as though there wasn’t enough oxygen in the coffee shop to keep you alive.

‘Do you not remember when I confessed? Our first kiss right after?’ You asked urgently. You couldn’t shake off the feeling that you were running out of time. Your boyfriend was looking at you like you were speaking a different language. You swallowed the bile in your throat and balled your empty fist. You couldn’t believe it… this wasn’t happening. It couldn’t. ‘We fell asleep cuddling!’ You claimed desperately, panic evident in your voice.

‘I’m… I…’

‘Oh my God! Are you kidding me right now?’ You were laughing hysterically at that point. It didn’t take too long for your chuckles to turn into quiet sobs. You couldn’t cry, not in front of so many people, but this just made you more frustrated.

By then, your nails had dug tiny, crescent-shaped holes into your palm and the shortcake in your other hand. Both of your arms were trembling slightly and your heart was beating so frantically, you felt your pulse in your whole body. You were an idiot. You were delusional. And on top of these, everyone in your friend group became aware of your ridiculousness on the same night you did.

You had never felt so humiliated in your life and you were best friends with Kim Mingyu. He had given you secondhand-embarrassment in public so many times since university that you didn’t have enough fingers to count them all.

You felt your best friend’s presence before you caught a glimpse at him in your periphery, but you were too upset to find comfort in his hand on your shoulder blade. If anything, it blurred your vision and urged your tears to run down your crimson cheeks. So you pushed him away and shut out your surroundings as much as you could. You needed to grab your jacket and backpack before you left. You couldn’t use public transportation or enter your place without your card and keys.

You had to get your jacket. You needed your backpack. Then, you could finally, finally walk out of this hell.

You were already at the chair where you had left your belongings when your boyfr… when Hansol got himself out of his stupor and marched up to you.

‘Wait! Please, it’s not that I don’t like you. I just thought… so I thought that Seungkwan was teasing me whenever he called you my girlfriend,’ he pleaded, making you wonder whether he realised the damage he was doing with his clumsy excuse. He phrased his words so poorly, it caused you physical pain to listen to him.

He might have thought he liked you; maybe he did like you to an extent. However, he had no idea how much he hurt you in the process and you were at your limits.

You scoffed with the intent to mock. As much as you loved him, you wished you could stop caring so much, because it was draining. You were sure you would need days if not weeks to recover from this disaster.

‘Amazing, Hansol. Very comforting, really. Just what I needed to not feel like a fucking joke anymore,’ you groaned as you secured your trembling fingers around your belongings and pushed the boy out of your way.

You didn’t bother to bid your goodbye to anyone; you didn’t even realise that you were still holding onto your half-eaten shortcake until you opened the door and the creamy dessert collided with the handle.

You power walked towards the subway station as though you were afraid that Hansol would follow you; in reality, you knew damn well he wouldn’t.

If it wasn’t for Kim Mingyu’s long legs and sheer determination, no one would have been able to catch up with you before you disappeared at the underground station. But with him as your best friend, you didn’t have to be alone amongst hundreds of people when the first tears ran down your cheeks. He held you against his chest and stroked your hair gently even when you tried to push him away.

That night, Mingyu took you back to his apartment after you admitted you didn’t want to face your brother and his girlfriend in such a messy state. He helped you wash your hand in his kitchen and fed you with warm pasta before he deliberately took the couch and let you sleep in his bed.

If it had been up to you, you would have avoided Coffee Carat and its vicinity just as eagerly as you were still avoiding your friends’ texts and phone calls since that disastrous anniversary afterparty, but life didn’t work like that. You had a job, you had a loyal clientele you couldn’t afford to lose, and you needed money to pay your bills just like everybody else.

Three days after the worst day of your life, these were the main reasons why you showed up at the coffee shop exactly one hour before opening time. You were sweating like crazy, your lower lip hurt from the intense amount of chewing you had built into your daily routine in the past few days, and your weak heart almost fell into your stomach when your gaze landed on Seungcheol who was checking the amount of change in the cash register with the same ease he did it almost every day. (When he stayed until closing time, he usually arrived at the shop later, thus this task was entrusted to the place’s manager, Wonwoo.)

‘Morning,’ you broke the awkward silence with a more awkward greeting, unable to hold eye contact with your friend despite his smile that was devoid of pity. He acted as though that night had never happened and while you were grateful for his consideration, you didn’t know what to do with it. You had thought he would be different.

Once again, you felt ashamed because of an assumption you should have never made. Would you ever learn the lesson?

‘Good morning!’ He reciprocated your greeting as he placed a cup of iced latte on the counter and tilted his head in the kitchen’s direction. ‘Mingyu came in early to try this new brownie recipe he got from his grandma. He asked me to tell you, he needs you to taste test them,’ he informed you with another warm smile before he gave you the needed space and turned back to the cash register.

There were no words descriptive enough to convey how grateful you were for these amazing people in your life. But you were too scarred to initiate a hug because an unreasonable part of you blamed everything miserable in your life on PDA. Obviously, you knew that Mingyu’s cuddles and Seungkwan’s hugs had done nothing wrong, but you wanted to refrain from both and more in the near future. Just until you got over the phantom feeling of public humiliation. Just until you could laugh at the memory without a knot in your throat.

‘Thank you, Seungcheol,’ you mumbled bashfully once your steps came to a halt in front of the counter and you could wrap your fingers around your favourite cold beverage.

You were aware that Mingyu’s grandma was an amazing baker; you also knew that she was pretty secretive when it came to her recipes. Sipping on your drink, you wondered what had your best friend done to persuade the old woman to give away something so valuable to her. Had he finally agreed to go on a date with one of her friends’ single granddaughter?

This thought made you snort. Mingyu hated blind dates more than he hated burnt cupcakes. And last time you had taken over his kitchen, he had refused to try yours even though they were only slightly overbaked.

‘Hm, they smell delicious. Did you sell your soul for the recipe?’ You entered the kitchen in a lighter mood, making a mental note to answer a few of those messages you had received from your friends now that you knew they didn’t necessarily look at you differently because of what had happened. So what if you had been in an imaginary relationship for half a year with their other friend? It didn’t mean you were less.

None of them was insensitive enough to imply you were a delulu, right? Right. Still, if they had done so, you could have always revoked their friendship card. Losing them would have surely hurt, but you didn’t need people in your life who judged you for an honest mistake. No matter how stupid that mistake was.

‘No,’ Mingyu protested immediately, teeth sinking into his lower lip in concentration. Your best friend bent over the brownies like he was decorating those desserts in the lovely yet messy home of the seven dwarfs, but you found him too endearing to tease him for it. You also loved brownies with all your heart. ‘But I told grams about your horrendous break-up and she made me promise I would bake you a tray from all your favourites,’ he confessed, shooting an apologetic smile in your direction when your eyes narrowed in on him.

‘Good to know your high morals have nothing against taking advantage of your best friend’s misfortune,’ you grumped, contemplating whether you should have thrown hands or stolen a full tray of chocolate brownies as compensation.

The closer you walked to the traitor, the more you salivated because of the heavenly smell of sugar and cocoa powder.

‘Don’t act like you wouldn’t kill for her brownies. Or her muffins. Or her cinnamon cookies,’ he retorted with an affectionate eye roll before he pushed a decorated slice in your mouth.

Munching and humming like a happy chipmunk, you lifted your hands in surrender. Mingyu was right. If you had known this was all his grandma needed to share her secrets, you would have broken your own heart years ago. These were luscious.

Since you had some time on your hands before your next delivery and the guys usually took care of the boxes in the trunk, you decided to wait for the next tray that was still in the oven, thus you took a seat by the table Mingyu was working on. You even offered your help with the icing, but he called you talentless and lacking a better argument, you darted your tongue out as a response.

It was like any other morning at Coffee Carat with Kim Mingyu, which lulled you into a fake sense of security. His stupid comments on your sweet tooth and unusual willingness to avoid the Hansol topic tore down those walls that had been guarding you in the past days and made you completely vulnerable to said boy’s soft knocks on the door frame.

At first, you thought it was Seungkwan or Junhui and that they were looking for either of you because of the supplies they had to carry to the storage room, but when the repetitive sounds were followed by silence and you snapped your head towards the newcomer, you wished you wouldn’t have been stuck in a room with only one exit: the same one Hansol was currently blocking with his body.

You swallowed the brownie in your mouth and turned back to your best friend with pleading eyes. However, Kim Mingyu’s gaze was suspiciously focused on an already decorated piece of dessert and the yellow icing he was still pressing atop of the poor cupcake.

‘Traitor,’ you spat, tempted to reach out for your iced latte just to pour the rest on the top of his head, but that would have caused a big mess and you didn’t want your clumsy (ex-)friend to die after slipping on a small pond of coffee in his beloved kitchen.

Left with an ugly scar after the last time you had confronted someone, you soon came to the conclusion that you weren’t ready for another fight. Hence, you grabbed your iced latte a bit too firmly and marched towards the door with your eyes fixed on the floor. You knew Hansol, he wouldn’t corner you against your will. He would let you leave.

You needed him to let you leave. But he didn’t.

‘Could we talk?’ The boy asked when your shoulder bumped into his and your steps came to an abrupt halt. You frowned; you clearly didn’t know him well enough.

‘What’s there to talk about? I have nothing more to say to you,’ you retorted with the intent to put an end to your conversation as soon as possible. Out of the two of you it might have been you who were older, but you were still allowed to act immature sometimes, weren’t you? You might have been the one who had misunderstood the nature of your relationship, but he had been the one who had made a joke of your assumption in front of everyone. In your opinion, your defensive reaction was justified.

‘Then could you just listen? I have a lot to say actually,’ Hansol pleaded, his lost puppy eyes playing on your heartstrings. It was unfair: the effect he had on you after everything.

Your fingers turned pale around the plastic cup in your hand. It had been easier to ignore him when he had been calling and sending you texts about how sorry he was. Now, with his body mere millimetres from yours, you felt rather conflicted. Should you have listened? Should you have denied his request? If you had been in his shoes, your thoughts would have driven you nuts if you couldn’t have spoken your mind.

You let out a defeated sigh.

‘Two minutes. And we will talk outside. I don’t want this traitor to eavesdrop. He might sell any information for a bag of sour gummy bears,’ you gave an ultimate, coaxing a scoff out of Mingyu with your ridiculous answer.

‘Rude,’ your best friend groaned, but you just shrugged. Sure, it was a low blow, but it was well-deserved.

Hansol took a small step to the left to let you show him the way and you led him to the back of the customer area where you took a seat at a random table close to the coffee bean stickers. From there, you could see the guys carrying the boxes and sacks you had brought, but to your luck, no one was paying attention to you, thus your heart had one less reason to worry about. Not that Hansol’s closeness didn’t affect its speed already. God. You could feel its drumming in your ears, which meant they must have been rose-coloured and warm all because of him.

You took a sip from your lukewarm drink to calm yourself down and waited for him to speak first. After all, he had said, he had a lot of things to talk about.

‘What I really, really need you to know is that I have the fattest crush on you since Mingyu hyung introduced us to each other,’ he started after a couple of deeper breaths and a destroyed napkin whose remains were scattered on the table in front of him.

Just like you had said, you had nothing more to add to his confession, but you didn’t stand up and leave, either. How could you have when Hansol shot a sheepish smile at you right before you could have averted your eyes, then parted his lips to tell you everything while you were still there, willing to listen?

Scratching his nape due to what you assumed was discomfort, he told you that he had really thought he hadn’t stood a chance. He also admitted that he cared about you a whole lot and that he wanted to be with you. He had apologised for that night and his unacceptable reaction to your cheek kiss, then spelt it out to you how dense he could have been sometimes, which you had acknowledged with an (affectionate) eye roll. You had kind of figured that one out. But you guessed, you weren’t much better, either.

‘If you’re okay with that, I would like to give us another try, a real one this time,’ Hansol said with his beautiful, hopeful eyes on you. Your cheeks were beet red even before he added with more confidence: ‘I don’t want to lose you.’

You were at a loss for words. While deep in your heart you knew, your love for Hansol hadn’t disappeared from one week to another, you were reluctant to jump into a relationship with him when you were still licking your wounds after your - lack of a better word - break-up.

‘I…’ you were struggling to express your thoughts despite the lesson you had learned about the importance of honesty. Your urge to avoid hurting him was too strong; it restricted you when you should have been straightforward.

‘She doesn’t want to lose you, either. Come on! Tell him you don’t,’ you heard Seungkwan say from behind your back, making you curse under your nose as you turned around to see the blonde barista wiping the non-existent dirt off a table. You narrowed your eyes and zeroed in on his know-it-all smile, contemplating whether it had been a wise idea to become friends with someone as gossipy as Kim Mingyu. The mere fact that it was already the third time that morning that you had questioned your life decisions couldn’t have meant anything good.

‘What the hell? Did Mingyu tell you something? Because he’s lying and…’

‘He didn’t have to tell me anything, noona. You make it painfully obvious,’ Seungkwan said with his hands on his hips, clearly disappointed in your reaction. You couldn’t hold eye contact with him for longer than a couple of seconds.

You knew Hansol was the barista’s best friend; you also knew that they both cared about each other a lot, so you didn’t blame him for taking the current situation personally. But you found the call-out unfair because it should have been you who understood your feelings the most. It should have been you who answered Hansol’s question regardless of how much time it took you to decipher your own fuzzy mind.

You turned back ahead and buried your face in your hands with a groan. You were hopeless; you couldn’t even tell Seungkwan to mind his own business. How were you supposed to deal with someone who was a whole other level of important in your life? You wished your best friend had told you the secret of how he had managed to crack your shell. How had Mingyu managed to make you feel comfortable enough to curse at him openly?

Disappointed in yourself, your shoulders tensed when someone touched your hand, although you relaxed a little almost immediately when you realised that it was Hansol. The boy tapped your knuckles with his fingertips like he was playing on a piano and made you look at him without saying a word, because it was soothing. When your eyes met, the apologetic smile on his face was hopeful and the sight of it tugged the corner of your lips upwards.

‘Would you go on a date with me?’ He asked, his pseudo-confidence amusing and touching at the same time. ‘We could start it with something mundane if you’re not ready for fancy stuff. I could tag along today. We could grab lunch together and I could make the boring car rides more fun,’ he offered.

The two of you had never done anything fancy together. Your most romantic date had been a night in with a sappy movie playing on your laptop and hot cocoa in your hands despite the scorchingly hot summer and your broken AC. Although, you reminded yourself, neither of your previous dates had been dates for him. He could have easily been a whole different type of boyfriend in real life than how he lived in your mind.

It was on the tip of your tongue: the objection that no one had said those rides were boring, but then you remembered complaining about them to him and sighed. You couldn’t deny the warmth you felt at the realisation that he paid attention to you.

‘Fine,’ you agreed quietly, cheeks rosy because he was still holding onto your hand. It made you wonder whether his dislike for PDA had been all in your head because of the distance he had kept from you while you had been convinced you had been in a relationship. You made a mental note to ask him about this - and a couple of other stuff like those dates he would have liked to go on and his thoughts on couple holidays - when his best friend wasn’t staring holes in the back of your head.

After you gave in, Hansol couldn’t stop smiling and honestly, neither could you. You didn’t hide how excited you were about your day together, but after a couple of silent seconds and a nervous gulp, you made an effort to tell him about your worries, too. For the first time since you had confessed on his birthday, you were completely honest and he took it surprisingly well.

While you finished your iced latte, he reassured you that you didn’t have to call any of your dates a date or refer to him as your boyfriend if these labels burdened you. Although his hand was still on yours, he asked for permission to keep holding it, to hug you in the future and to kiss the top of your head or your cheek if the moment felt right.

Listening to those things he wanted to do with you in public and private, you looked at his fingers while they were drawing absentminded circles and eights on your palm and thought: maybe falling for someone like Hansol Vernon Chwe hadn’t been a mistake. Mistakes were when you had kept your doubts to yourself and assumed he had known what had been going on in your mind. The mistake was not talking about issues that needed to be talked about.

One look at his goofy smile and the light blush on his neck was enough for you to know: you would do everything in your power to not make the same mistakes again. Confrontations might have scared you, but losing him was scarier.

➼ next reason

#seventeen scenarios #caratwritersclub #vernon x reader #vernon x you #hansol x reader #hansol x you #vernon #hansol vernon chwe #ssbyme #seventeen series #angst #coffee shop au

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doctormomwriter · 1 year

Text

New Look

Aizawa x OC Smut (filth)

Small plot because for some reason I am unable to write smut without a little background. Biggest lie I told myself...

Warning: Sexual Content, Rough, Sweet, Dirty Talking Sex

Ivy and Aizawa must come to terms with secrets, feelings, and how to go on teaching like nothing ever happened.

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Part 1: Glitter Boy and The Ugly Witch

It all started with a small prank. Teaching a bunch of future pro heroes science was difficult. They never seemed to be interested in my lessons, only about the hell that would be reigned down upon them by Aizawa during his class periods with them. I learned the keep their attention by arranging small pranks on my favorite, sleepy coworker. For the last few weeks, I had hid glitter bombs in Aizawa's desk. Three of them that would go off at the perfect moment. I told the class if they all passed their midterm assignments, then I would shower Mr. Aizawa with glitter in the middle of his lecture. Their grades were all above passing. I had never been so proud and so nervous in my life. I was really hoping for one failing grade so that I could back out before I was in too deep. I am a woman of my word though.

I peeked in Aizawa's window and flipped a small switch and without failure, all of the glitter bombs popped in unison. He did not say anything. The class burst into laughter and his eyes flashed at the doorway where he caught me red handed. I bolted to my office and immediately began planning my apology.

The day dragged on as I taught the next two classes. One of my students asked why I looked sickly, like I had seen a ghost. I nonchalantly admitted that if Mr. Aizawa catches me today, I would be a ghost! Thankfully the purple haired kid did not seem to have the energy to probe me for more information. Five o'clock came sooner today than any other day. It was time to face the music. Aizawa and I always had a unique way of speaking to each other. Small jokes at one anothers expence, followed by "I am only kidding" and visiously looking away from each other.

I walked outside and put on my lab coat that I always wore over my dress clothes. I was always afraid that my clothes were too tight or not professional enough so I bypassed the dresscode by wearing a lab coat nearly all the time. I am not sure really anyone knew what I looked like underneath except Nemuri. Midnight was my best friend and had seen me in everyway, unfortunately. She always laughed when we would go out in our group of friends and I would still be in this damn coat. Rain or shine. Hot or cold. I was covered neck, to wrist, to ankle.

"You fucking bitch! I need them to focus! They are literally training for their lives!" Aizawa pushed passed Mic and made a bee-line for me. I hid between Nemuri and the tree they were surrounding.

"I am sorry! It was to motivate them to pass my exam!" I winced and giggled. "They passed." I shrugged.

"I don't know if your quirk has something to do with childish bullshit or maybe you're just one of those quirkless assholes with a hobby, but it does not mean you have to look and act like a big, ugly, witch!" Aizawa looked like he immediately regretted his words, but I did not care. That hurt.

"I..I'm sorry." I felt like I was going to puke.

"Wait... do you not have a quirk?" Mic chimed in. Everyone ignored him.

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Part 2: Who Let the Girls Out?

I snuck off to my apartment quickly. An hour or so later, Midnight knocked on my door. My face had been burried in my pillow, soaked with tears. I felt like a teenager. Did he really see me as big and ugly? I could not lie to myself about it, I had the biggest crush on Aizawa since we met. Every social gathering left the two of us together as wall flowers and we joked around and talked about our lives and it became a beautiful friendship. Until I ruined it..

"Ivy girl, you have to get up.. he did not mean it like that!" Midnight put a loving hand on my shoulder.

"I am not sure why it hurt.." I tried not to look at her. I was still red from tears.

"Because you like him." She said in a sing songy way.

"I do not! We are just friends." I almost shouted at her, but my voice cracked at the lie.

"You have to get up, we are having All Might's birthday party at Siripico's Bar and you know what that meansssss!" She held a finger under my chin that forced me to look up at her.

"It means I have to go and face Aizawa like the fat, ugly, witch I am?" I smirked and wiped my face from the tears. "I am going to sit this out, take Toshinori my gift please." I flopped back into the bed.

"No, do not make me knock you out and dress you up the hard way." Midnight tugged at her sleeve with a devilish grin.

My brown eyes flashed a matte gold color and my hair fell down from my messy bun. I smirked as I summoned my closet doors open so hard the room shook.

"God, I love it when you use magic!" She giggled and rummaged through my closet. Flinging dresses out left and right.

"Oh honey, none of this will work. You have to have on a dress that goes with heels!" She pulled out my old hero costume and flung it on the bed. "What about this?" She gave me an evil smile.

"You know good and well, I am never going to wear that again. My pro days are over, that is why I teach science." I held the weathered fabric in my hand. My touch made it flow back to a dark black again.

No one knew but Midnight and Nezu. No one was allowed to know about "Hecate: The Witch Hero." She disappeared about the same time Ivy moved to Osaka City to teach young heroes science...harmless science. I remembered how I looked though. Much like Midnight. Tall and curvy, my dark wine colored hair, long and wild with curles and narcisus flowers accentuated my black dress that resembled an Greecian robe. Long slits up from the ankle to my hips on each side. 'Cleavage and legs for days' is what Nemuri called it when I showed her pictures.

"No one will know if you keep your normal face on." She waved her hand in front of my face. I took a breath and changed my eye color back to brown and my hair seemed to not be so wild anymore. "Plus, you are not wearing your moon horn head piece and eye makeup. No one will know... come on!! This is sexy as hell."

I began to ponder the idea and grabbed my lab coat like a security blanket. She snatched it from me.

"If you even think about wearing this thing, I will knock you out and tape you to the flag pole...naked..." She licked her lips.

"You pervert. I love you, you silly goose. Fine.." I admitted defeat.

We got dressed together at her apartment. She had to approve my makeup and lend me a pair of heels. We took goofy pictures like always. One of them was a little riske'. Midnight jokingly put her hand around my throat while we were in our bras and panties. Our tongues were sticking out as our faces nearly touched.

"You better delete that one!" I grabbed for the phone. Too late.

"Nemuri!! Tell me you did not send that to Hizashi... please.. tell me you did not!" I was so embarrassed but the damage was already done. We finished getting ready and ordered a ride to take us to the bar.

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Part 3: Look at This Photograph

"Holy shit!" Mic blushed at the photo and immediately texted back. "Yes Ma'ams!" to Midnight's picture. They had a friends with benefits thing going on that know one is supposed to know about, but everyone knows about it.

"What?" Aizawa spat in the sink and whiped the toothpaste foam from his lips.

"Don't mind me, looking to score twice tonight." Mic slid the phone to Aizawa and his face turned red. Mostly from anger.

"Like Ivy would even dream of you touching her." He coughed and rolled his eyes. Closing the bathroom door to breath and prevent his semi from becoming more than that.

Aizawa and Mic had a long conversation while they waited for time to get ready for the party. Mic explained that calling a woman "fat and ugly" even as a joke or retaliation is bad. Aizawa scoffed and while he knew Mic was right about that, he did not want to admit fault. Eventually they dropped the conversation when Mic mentioned to Aizawa that while no one had really seen my body not covered by work clothes and a lab coat, I had a pretty face and a great personality and that is all the mattered. Aizawa added in how intelligent I was and then began talking about training with his class.

"I just find it funny that you think Ivy would not jump on this dick if I gave her the option." Mic prodded as they were walking out the door. Aizawa clenched the keys in his hand to avoid feeling the rage that boiled in his bloodstream. "Could you imagine what her face looks like when she is going down... do you think she keeps her glasses on? Do you think her tits are that big out side of the pic.." Aizawa pushed Mic into the hallway wall.

"Shut up. Gentleman's agreement like old times? Keep your hands and eyes off of Ivy. No questions asked." Aizawa was so harsh with those words.

"See.. I knew you liked her." Mic fixed his jacket and they got in the car without another word.

Mic sent a text to Nemuri. "Finally he admits it." She responded with a thumbs up emoji.

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Party 4: Lights Out, Drinks Up

I stepped out of the Uber and Nemuri pulled me in for a picture outside the bar's neon signage. We both looked hot. I felt naked without my coat, but it was time to feel confident after being knocked down to nothing this afternoon. We ordered a drink and mingled. All Might was huge and muscular like normal, his yellow suit traded out for a crisp plum color one with a black tie and belt. His shoes were so shiny they looked like wet paint. He hugged us so tight. He was so wholesome. Fawning over how beautiful I looked, he even whispered in my ear that confidence looked so beautiful on me. He also whispered something about beating the boys off of me with a stick if I needed. He was so kind. I adored that man for more than his hero work.

"This drink is strong, but I need another." I shouted to Midnight over the music but she was too busy making googoo eyes at Mic.

I flagged the bartender down, but he had already handed me a drink. A flaming orange concoction. He pointed to man at he end of the bar and winked. I blew out the fire and took the shot before turning around. My eyes grew wide like saucers when I saw the brooding Endeavor sitting down on a stool that looked way to small to hold him. His suit was black and his shirt a crisp white. His tie was one of those fancy paisley patterns with a sterling silver clip. I smiled and decided I should probably say thank you for the drink. I walked over and reheared a small talk starter in my head.

"Thank you, Endeavor." I was going to leave it at that.

He placed his hand on the counter and bartender ran 4 more flaming shots in front of us.

"You're not going to make me drink alone, huh? It's Enji outside of work by the way." He pushed a shot to me.

"I guess one more won't hurt... Enji.." I smiled.

I took the shot down. I didnt even blow out the flame that time.

"So... I have a question. Is there any particular reason you decided to dress like a fucking beauty queen tonight?" He took two shots back to back and passed me the last one.

Oh my god, was he hitting on me? Ew.. I teach one of his kids. My brain was not really thinking clearly anymore. The alcohol bubbling in my veins, my cheeks felt pink. I had to be careful or else I may forget to keep my quirk in check. I nonchalantly summoned the shot glass to my hand only a few inches so he would not notice.

"A shy girl, huh? No reason to be shy when you look like that. Although, I never really thought I would see that outfit out in the wild again. Hecate." He grabbed my hand firmly.

"What did you call me?" I giggled. He was bluffing. He did not really know.

"Do not play dumb with me.. You do not need to hide all that power from someone like me. I know all too well what it is like to have so much power and rarely get to use my full potential." He had pulled me close. Tucked my long curly hair behind my ear.

I was starting to panic now. I needed another drink. My mouth was dry. I pulled away but he pulled me back harder. My face smushed into his chest. He swayed to the music and kept his voice down low so I could hear him without anyone eavsdropping.

"I am just saying, imagine the legacy you and I could leave behind if you came out into the hero world. Not to mention, having this sweet ass and legs to look at on those lonely stake outs at night might ease the long hours... You could ease this long.." He stepped back a moment to see what had caught his attention. His foot suddenly slipped up into the air and he came crashing down to his ass.

I made my get away. I could not see what happened until the strobe lights flased on a silver grey cloth slinking away behind the bar and into Aizawa's suit pocket. My eyes trailed up to the man who was behind the prank.

When I made eye contact with him, he gave me a half smile. I had almost forgotten how badly he had hurt my feelings earlier. I turned around in embarrassment and unfortunately ran into a frustrated looking Endeavor.

"So you are just going to knock me off my feet and run away? Lucky for you, I like a challenge." He pulled me close to his chest again.

My eyes flashed back to Aizawa who was looking out of the corner of his eyes at us while he chatted with Vlad King. He looked angry. Did I really make him that angry? Maybe I should enjoy myself. Get a little flirty. Even if its with someone as disgusting as Endeavor.

"So, I do not want to disappoint you, but I am not who you think I am. I am just a science teacher." I shrugged.

"I am not dumb, Hecate. I have known since the moment I saw your face. Now that you're wearing your old dress, I confirmed it. What I cannot figure out is... why you are hiding? Who are you hiding from?" His face was so close to mine.

"I am not saying you are dumb, I am saying that..." A strong hand grabbed my shoulder. A forceful but careful pull, pulled me away from the firey man.

"We need to talk." Aizawa did not even bother to look at the angered Endeavor.

********************************************************************

Part 5: Time to Get Shit Faced.

Endeavor pulled me back to him and at that moment I ducked and side stepped to give space between us. Mic walked by with a tray of cosmo shooters and I grabbed two off and downed them. Hoping this would all go away when I opened my eyes. I was wrong, of course.

"Eraserhead, I did not peg you for the rude type. Ivy and I were just talking about how much we have in common." He winked at me.

"We don't have anything in common." I chimed in and it seemed like no one listened.

"Oh really, since when did she become a pretentious, fireball, asshole?" Aizawa flashed his eyes at Endeavor, watching the flames die down.

"To be fair you called me an asshole this morning." At this point, I swayed off without them noticing. I made my way to the bathroom as the alcohol started to really fuck with my senses. I have not drank this much in front of anyone but Midnight.

I texted Nemuri to come save me and decided to try to sober up some in the comfort of the bathroom stall. This felt gross.

Aizawa and Endeavor spent the next five minutes arguing before Aizawa noticed I was gone. They both blamed each other for my disappearance and Aizawa made a beeline for the hallway that led to the bathrooms and back door patio. I decided to stop hiding in the bathroom when I heard moaning in the stall beside me. That was my cue to leave. I needed fresh air. I opened the patio door and no one was there in my line of sight. I shut the door and sat in the chairs by the wall.

"Fuck.." I sighed.

"You wanna tell me what that was about?" Aizawa flicked a half smoked cigarette across the lot.

"Fuck!" I jumped up and immediately felt lightheaded. I sat down.

"I honestly have not a fucking clue." I covered my face and he down beside me.

"You're hanging out with Endeavor, that is...interesting." He lit another cigarette.

"Give me that...please" I pulled it from his fingers but it felt like they lingered on my hand for more than a normal amount of time.

I took a puff, I had not had a cigarette in forever. The last time was when Nemuri talked me into trying one of these special rainbow cigarettes that tasted like peppermint. I felt a rush as the nicotine flooded my system.

"I am not hanging out with him, he bought me a few drinks, made a pass at me which I declined, several times. He knows my secret..." I passed the cigarette back to Aizawa.

"Oh, okay. So you're not into...you're not interested in him?" He choked out. Pretending it was the cigarette making him choke.

"Of course not, he is gross. Not my type." I took the cigarette and took a long drag.

"Ha...and what is your type?" Aizawa raised an eyebrow.

We made eye contact for a moment and I could not make myself speak. I could not come clean. One part of me wanted to tell him that he was my type and the other part of me wanted to give a generic answer. Before I could open my mouth, the door crashed open and Endeavor and a waitress were entangled, making out loudly. He stopped when he saw me.

"Yeah, that is right. This could have been you. I could have fucked you stupid, Hecate." Endeavor turned back to the waitress who was stil gasping for air from the lip locking.

It's amazing how fast you sober up when you get hit with a blow of anxiety the size of a mountain. I bolted around the corner. Making it to the corner and trying to catch a taxi. I finally caught one and as I was about to shut the door, Aizawa slid in beside me. He handed a 50 to the driver and muttered an address.

"We need to talk." He looked at me harshly. I saw his eyes flash red and I pinched his thigh. He blinked before he had the chance to use his quirk on me.

"Not here." Thankfully he did not push.

We arrived at a small loft near UA. This was not my apartment... I guess it was his. He tipped the driver and we walked to the door. He grasped my hand and nearly dragged me inside.

"You do like him, why would you lie about that? You have a pet name? Why him? Why a fucking asshole like him? You are so smart and he's.." He looked at me so angry. His eyes flashed at me. His hair stood on end..

I let it happen. He watched as my skin tone grew paler and slightly glowing. My eyes turned from brown to gold and copper colored. My curls seemed to look bolder and less tamed. Large ringlets of wine colored locks. My lips turned from soft pink to the color of sugar plums in winter.

"What.." He relaxed his gaze. I kept my form.

"This is me.. the fat, ugly witch." A tear fell down my cheek. "When I was 20, a fairly young pro. I was Hecate. My quirk is witchcraft." I sighed again. "Endeavor figured it out and was trying to court me for breeding purposes. I dislike him. I promise."

Aizawa still did not say a work. He just looked at me. In a way he never really had before. There was so much awkward silence in the room, you could hear the neighbors across the street snoring.

"You're.." He took a long pause again.

"I am me, this is just an old part of me that I wanted to keep away from everyone. I am done being a pro.." I was teary eyed. Worried that he would ask why I hid this. Why I left a career I worked so hard to get..

"I just don't understand. How could I have been so blind not to see that..you're Hecate?" He walked towards me. Leaving little space between me and him. I backed up towards the door. My back nearly touching it.

"I am so...sorry." He whispered.

"For what?"

"For hurting your feelings... for calling you are quirkless normie.. for being awful tonight while you were just trying to have a good time." His hand rested on my shoulder. "Why would you hide this from us? No one would have cared." He chuckled.

"You never heard the story of how Hecate disappeared? My shame? You would not have cared about my failure as a hero? How I was tricked into killing someone...I am a witch by birth and by nature of my quirk. I swore to never do harm and I let a man....gain control of my body and use it for evil. I saw everything he did to my body and made my body do..I should have been put down like a rabid dog, Shouta." I was crying the type of way that makes you gasp for air. Tears streaming down my cheeks and down my neck.

"Ivy... I didn't..I had no idea. I promise. Even if I did, I would have never judged you for something that you did not do of your own volition." He wiped the tears from my eyes and held my face in his palms. "Then Endeavor kept talking about how our spawn would be powerful beings and it made me want to vomit, but I spent time with him to make you jealous and then.." His lips slowly pressed to mine.

He pulled away from me and tooks a few steps back.

"I am so sorry...I should have asked, but why did you want to make me jealous? You know what, it doesn't matter. Thank you for being honest with me. Want to go back to the party?" He was shaking his head in disbelief.

I felt my heart burst in my chest. How could he just kiss me and ask if I want to go to a party?! I wanted to be here. I needed some kind of explanation to his actions! I was hurt all over again. Maybe he just wanted to shut me up. Did it not matter at all that I wanted to make him jealous. Fuck this night.

"I...well, should we talk about what just happened?" I needed answers.

"Oh this?" Aizawa stepped forward as my back touched the door. He tilted my chin up and kissed me again. His fingers lightly moving my hair behind my ear and his palm cupping my jaw to hold me in place. He released after about a minute.

"Yes.. that." I felt so dizzy. Was I still drunk? Maybe a litte.

He locked the door and took my hand, pulling me on top of him on the couch. His hands moved around my waist as our lips connected again. Deeper this time. His tongue grazing my bottom lip after a soft bite. I whimpered into the kiss which triggered a low moan from him. I could feel his cock hard under his pants. If I could see myself, I am sure I was tomato red with anxiety.

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Chapter 6: Drunk In Love

"We should really go back to the party...don't you think?" Aizawa had his hand in my hair, a hard grip. Pulling me only an inch back from his lips.

I pouted.. he was right though. He pulled his phone from his pocket and showed me 37 missed texts from Hizashi. I slowly climbed off of his lap and my legs felt like they weighed 500 pounds. I was shivering at the loss of warmth between us.

"I have questions.." I whispered as he smirked and wiped my lipstick from his mouth. I blushed thinking I should probably touch myself up before we head back.

"I have answers." His voice fell lower in tone.

"I still have no idea what is going on in your head...was this just a one time.. tipsy..thing?" I walked closer to the door.

Aizawa stopped and narrowed his eyes at me. I could not tell if he was annoyed, amused, frustrated, or confused. I was confused. One minute his tongue is down my throat and the next he is rushing us back to a party. He walked towards me and rubbed my small lipstick smear from my chin. Pressing me back to the door. He kissed me softly. Trailing them down my neck.

"Oh fuck!" I cried out as his teeth bit into my tender skin. Right above my color bone. He lingered and pulled off of me.

"We go back, be polite friends, give our gifts, have a drink or two. I want to dance with you in the dim light. Let me feel like I have given you a proper date and I promise you, when we get back to my apartment, I will leave no room for doubt in your beautiful brain. I will kiss you.." he learned in to my ear to whisper "I will have you screaming to whatever gods you believe in all night." He stood back up and smiled at me. It was an innocent and loving smile.

The uber drive back to the bar was short, thank god. He held my hand to guide me out of the car and we went back inside through the patio. Hizashi was still drunk. He grabbed me and told me how pretty I was. Aizawa sighed in annoyance. Then Hizashi screamed for Nemuri, she cam running from the back, drinks in hand.

"Nemuri!! Look! They did it!!" He pointed to my neck.

My face was on fire. I did not realize the bite had left a mark. Aizawa snaked a hand around my waist and pulled me to him, hard enough to make me place a hand on his chest for balance.

"Would you shut up and let the kids have their fun, we have been waiting for this to happen for months." Nemuri handed me a glass and asked me to dance with her.

I looked at Aizawa who just nodded for me to go off and enjoy myself.

Unknown to me, Hizashi begged him for details and Aizawa did not oblidge. He left is very vague. Only telling him that he could not fight his feelings anymore and that we kissed and came back to the party. Hizashi whined at the last of graphic detail, but eventually let the topic go.

Meanwhile, Nemuri and I were dancing and grinding on each other. Laughing and taking shots. I tried to pace myself, I did not want to be too drunk to miss out on the end of the "date." A broad hand cut in between us and pulled me close to him, I halfheartedly expected it to be Aizawa, but it was Enji. I pulled back quickly in disgust. He laughed and reached for my wrist again only to fall to his ass. My eyes flashed the gold and copper color that he had only hoped to see. I bound him to the floor with my magic. The music stopped and everyone back up as the giant man struggled to get up. I snapped my fingers and released him. There were gasps from all over the crowd. People mumbled, wondering what happeded, while the people closest to me could see that it was my own power that caused the scene.

"Hecate, I have to give it to you. I almost believed you for a minute. But, now your whole secret is out. Was it worth it? Doing this show all for me?" Enji was enraged and cocky.

"That was not for you... that was for him." I pointed to Aizawa, who had made his way to my side when he saw Endeavor fall to the ground.

"How cute...enjoy mediocrate.." Enji made his way back to the bar. Thankfully everyone had the attention span of a goldfish and went back to drinking and dancing.

"I think this was the best date I have ever been on." Aizawa giggled and pulled me close to him as a slower song played.

**********************************************************************

Chapter 7: Oh My God

It was over, we made it back to his apartment. Suddenly, I felt nervous again. Like a virgin being lured to into a sacrifice. I felt danger and excitement, passion and longing, but more importantly... I felt safe with him. I felt like he was testing me to see if I would try to initiate. I was far too nervous for that. I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back from the restroom. My blood ran cold when I heard the faucet turn off from him washing his hands. I do not even know how to act sexy.

"So, you have a pretty impressive music collection here.." I could have punched myself for trying to break the ice.

"So, can I see? Show me something magical?" He brough two glasses of red wine to the living room area.

As he passed a glass to me, I sipped the sweet and bitter liquid. Trying to fight off the hangover and keep a small buzz for confidence. I blushed at the question, I had no idea what I could impress him with. At this point in our lives, I feel that we have seen it all.

"Tell me what you would like and I will try to make it happen?" It was more of a question for him that a command.

"I want to see...what you desire." He sat back on the couch. His legs were spread and his rested his wine glass on knee. His other hand resting behind his head comfortably.

It took me about a minute of thinking. I put on one of his records and swayed slowly to the music. Sipping my glass of wine in between thoughts of what to do. Suddenly, I had the best idea. I shot down the rest of the wine and told him to close his eyes and count to three.

"One...Two...Three..." When he opened his eyes, I stood before him in a matching bra and panty set, black wiring, flesh toned transulent fabric that had emerald green stitching in the patters of webs and tentacles like something out of a Vintinour magazine. It was sexy, it was sinful, it made him audibly moan a low "Oh my god.."

"Now...what is that you desire?" I bit my lip and smirked like a brat.

"I would love for you to come sit in my lap....but I desire for you get on your knees right here..." He pointed to the floor between his legs. "Obviously, only if we are sharing that desire."

Aizawa, king of consent. It make me feel like I would soak through my magic-made lingerie. I took a few steps to him before dropping to my hands and knees and crawling up to his knees. He stood up and unbuttoned and I eagerly pulled them down with his underwear and gently pushed him back on the couch before taking his length into my mouth. The good thing about a little foreplay is that by the time you get to this part, there is no need for warming him up. He was stiff and hard, twitching at the cool air, pre-cum dripping from it's head. I was enjoying myself so much I did not realize I had been sucking for nearly 10 minutes, changing things around, fast and slow, circling my tongue around it and making sure to lick his balls while I stroked him with my hand. His moans made me want to beg him to fuck me, but I needed to make him feel like he was the only man in the world. I wanted to please him, erase the doubts from the Endeavor situation.

"I would not be a good man if I let you do all of the work, now would I? He gripped my hair in his fist and pulled me away from his cock. I was whining like a brat. He laughed as he through me on my back, I hit the carpet with a thud and a pout.

Now this was knew to me... I did not come down to the floor and spread my legs, he hooked his strong arms around my thighs and curled me my pussy up to his face. I was basically upside down. My shoulder blades on the floor as the man's tongue violated my pussy in the best way imaginable. I was crying, swearing, shouting out to the gods. I was so close I could not breath. He stopped and slid a hand up my back, putting me in his lap and my face to his.

His kisses tasted salty and sweet. I desperately grinded on his cock. Soaking it with my arousal, but never pushing it inside without permission. His kisses went down my throat as his hands shredded the lingerie way too easily. My whole body was exposed to him and I got a little nervous. No time to stay nervous when the man of your dreams has his mouth on your breasts and two fingers sunk inside your tight little whole. He even knew to curls him up while he pumped them in and out.

"Fuck... I am going to cum, please don't stop! Please don't! Please... FUCK!" I shouted as the juices flowed from me right onto his palm.

He stroked himself using my own lust as lube. He lowered me down onto my back. The couch was soft and comfy. Agressively, he threw one of my legs up and rested my ankle on his shoulder, while he lined himself up to my entrance. Asking permission once more. I barely finished the word "Please" when he pushed inside.

"Oh god, you feel...." He fucked me a few more times before finishing that sentence.

I think he knew he would not last very long on our first time, but he made every thrust feel like heaven. His moans set my body on fire, I wanted to praise him for treating me like a goddess, but I also wanted to serve him like he was my deity to worship for eternity.

"Tell me this is mine? Forever!" He shouted.

"This is yours, Shouta! Please.."

He came so hard, when he pulled out, his cum painted from my lower stomach to my chest. I was messy and sweaty and tired. He walked away and brough a warm towel to clean off with before inviting me to the shower.

This was how I would spend many nights after.

#aizawa shouta #aizawa smut #mha fanfiction #my hero academia shigaraki #smutty #bnha aizawa

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fellow-in-a-wellow · 9 months

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Hello! I gathered some of my homemade insults! Hope you use them!

They can be used for writing or irl conversations (sibling to sibling for example).

Aside from this conversation you are the biggest waste of time in my life.

Ah, and here we see an idiot in action.

Proud to be an idiot, aren't you?

(passing by a kid section of a store) ah! Finally something for you.

Your neurons must have missed a few spots when they were developing your brain.

I think your atoms have a disease called "incurable stupid".

Your date of birth should be a day all expecting parents dread.

I wouldn't be surprised if there was a lack of father in your contacts. (From the Markiplier bit, but as an insult)

Y'know? i have a theory. I think god either created you as a joke or to remind insecure people that they have more use than you. I wouldn't know which ones are more probable though.

Your name should be a synonym for being a dumbass.

The date of your death should be the national holiday of being a dumbass.

Education really failed you. Have you ever considered asking the school for a refund?

You're the reason hell exists and why they had to make a room that threatens with knowledge.

Ugh, you might be everyone else's sun in life but to me you're just cancer inducing.

I may be adopted but at least it means i was wanted by them. However, they were stuck with you from day one. (In case you're adopted.)

Your existence is why we battle for abortion rights.

Your mother should be jailed with public harassment for giving birth to you.

You look like road kill with makeup on.

You're the reason education is free/ should be free.

Other than in a trash can. Where do you belong?

You're too much of a moron to see the consequences of your idiotism.

No one had any expectations for you. Why do you still disappoint?

You should persue the career of a clown instead of doing it for free.

Just because you're too stupid to acknowledge what was wrong doesn't mean that you're free of it's consequences. *Smacked*

Never did I think there was a way to go lower than the bare minimum, yet i see a shovel in your hand and ignorant determination in your eyes only an oblivious fool like you could have.

Worm on a string looks more intelligent than you.

The government should give anyone who ever interacted with you a refund and an apology letter.

I think i know why teachers are paid less.

Please, by all means, baffle me with your bullshit.

If you were a jester in medieval times they would consider you more of a pain in the ass than hemorrhoids they couldn't cure.

You should wipe off your make up with toilet paper, because it looks like shit.

Some people are right brained, some left brained and some parts of the human population are good at both of them. You're a fourth, hidden exception.

Letting you live was a mistake. Let me fix it. *Smack*

It's my first time seeing such a massive degradation of IQ.

High school didn't help, why should college?

I thought you were getting better, turns out you were just taking a break.

You're the type of guy to take orders from a rock twice. (From that one post).

I'm really fighting the urge to judge you by the cover.

First impressions matter, is this your best?

The only way you could find someone to date you is if they had an attraction to morons.

The only way you could get something to date you is if they were blind, mute, deaf and had some kind of brain mutation that lets you borrow brain cells from other people to compensate for the ones that died in battle against you.

Your heart is as barren as your brain.

You're the type of guy to go to school twice and turn out twice as stupid.

Moron should be a title reserved for people like you.

You would fail an exam even if they let you copy the paper.

The only way you passed that test was out of pity.

You're the type of guy to try and sell marijuana to a cop.

You're putting your energy in all the wrong places.

What? Sorry, you're a waste of breath so i just don't bother listening to you anymore.

Your personality has a ph of 14.

Your brain could fit inside a toy teacup and still have space for water.

How can you have two working eyes but be so damn blind.

When i said "cleanse your mind" i didn't include throwing your brain into a bin as a task.

*pointing at the victim* does this spark joy? *The hand changes from pointing to thumbs down or to a fuck you finger* no. (This can be the part when you introduce your middle finger to their face 2 feet apart for proper social distancing guidelines.)

You have one braincell and it bounces around your mind like a ping pong ball. If it hits a corner you experience a thought. Your brain doesn't have corners/but it's smooth. (You can include or exclude it. I took some inspiration from another post.)

If i speak directly into your ear i'm pretty sure you will feel it's echo spiral around that empty lot you call your head.

I can feel wind blowing through your skull, cause of the emptiness of it.

I'm sorry this was your mothers result.

#insults #comedy #siblings #dialogue prompt #dialogue inspiration

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mickgaydolenz · 1 year

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so I am still sad about the Passing of Ringo, but I feel better and I wanna share my dream to make me feel even better :)

I was chopping a saad in my kitchen, without a care in the world. listening to my family play in the other room. then I cut off my pointer finger until right under the nail, and my middle finger right smack dab in the middle.

yes. I panicked.

no,,,I didn't....bleed?

I just looked like a hot dog,,,and then I was scrambling around my kitchen and told someone with the hope that if I went to a hospital I might be able to have them reattached, nah. that wasn't gonna happen.

soooo also I lived in new york? but,,,but it had a bridge like in Sandiego with a really big cheeto sign which was....interesting. and my brother drove across it and was like "that is the biggest trade marked cheeto sign in the world y'know" and I was just. silently staring at it. and then I found out the reason he was driving me was because I was getting an eye exam that doubled as a driving test, so everything I failed in the driving test determined my prescription. and it was just outside, my brother and I were told to sit down in these chairs and had a camera turned on us, and my stupid ass got all goofy and ended up falling backward and slamming my face into my chair which gave me a bloody nose. long story short I failed the driving test and left with big ass ugly glasses that made my eyes HUGE.

and in the car ride home and when I got home I kept looking at my fingers that I had ruined and thinking about all the pros and cons, like, its not that big of a deal. I'm pretty sure I could've used em to do things still. but I realized I couldn't learn to play guitar now, I couldn't flash a peace sign with that hand because I didn't feel comfortable doing it, and I got so angry when those were literally the two things that chopping most of my finger off would've done. obviously I was torn up that because of a mistake i made i'd have to live the rest of my life missing the whole tips of my fingers, but no. I was mad because of that.

anywho when I got home I hung out in my room and looked at my fingers some more and then realized I should wrap them instead of just having them out in the air and stuff-and I woke up

raya i’m so sorry about ringo (the guinea pig) dude, i really hope you’re doing as okay as you can right now man. also……this dream is so beautiful and so bizarre. i love that you cut your hotdog fingers off but really the only draw backs were guitar playing and peace signs 🫡. also love the idea of a driving test doubling as a vision test, like wow what a horrible volatile combination 😂

#raya’s dreams :)#rhubarb asks

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sunny-kimmy · 1 year

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I forgot how to love the way I used to

Not in a sense of loving someone, rather with loving what I do, or I guess, what I used to do. I used to love studying that I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t have enough sleep just to ace that one test. I wouldn’t mind prioritizing it over meeting someone or hanging out with friends or rather, I used to study while I drink with them. That was easy for me, like it’s something that I do since I’ve stepped out the womb, it felt natural. But maybe I sacrifice enough just to feel the sense of accomplishment, maybe deep down, I didn’t care even a slightest with what I’m studying. I failed the biggest exam of my life, and it felt like my whole existence was a failure, I didn’t know how much it would affect me until it happened. My whole life, I’ve been preparing for that Veterinary licensure exam, and not passing it made me feel like I don’t have any more purpose. Sure I could retake, but now, as I prepare for another heartbreaking exam, I didn’t have that drive, that passion that I used to have. I didn’t love the way I used to. I used to talk about animals, I used to tell people my surgeries, I used to write about it. All my prayers revolved around it. I don’t even know what happened. I used to lie to myself that there’s a reason, but honestly, it’s just an excuse to make me feel good. It just doesn’t feel the same way like it used to. And I swear, I tried to be okay with it. That it was part of life. That I just have to try again and again until I get it. But what if doesn’t come for me? When’s the right time to stop? Going through the preparation is hell to me. But I don’t know, I guess I’ll keep going.

#personal

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remcycl333 · 2 years

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hi rem! i just wanted to thank you for helping me so much with your posts. i'm currently at the end of my summer break and i just remembered what my summer break was like last year:

TW suicide mention i was trapped in the seemingly endless cycle of obsession > trying a new method > 'failing' > frustration cycle when it came to manifestation. only having a week or so left of no school made it even worse. i was also transferring to another school because of bullying that year and i didn't want my new classmates to make fun of my appearance as my old ones did. i also had this if i don't manifest looking like my df by the first day of school i'm killing myself mindset. i was just miserable because i depended on my manifestations appearing, which they didn't because of my mindset.

now, it's saturday and tomorrow's my last day of break. i've discovered loa tumblr in early 2022 and while i've read pretty much every post on every topic, i haven't applied much and my 3dhast conformed yet (also because i kinda was switching my desires. but i don't worry, because in my 4d i'm a teen living in minato city with my brother, not having to worry about anything because i neither go to school nor have a job, not some senior that has to pass their final exams. speaking of finals, i don't have to worry about those either since my 3d can and will mirror my 4d before i even have to study for the finals.

i still feel down sometimes, but even a master manifestor does. not seeing my ideals in the 3d just encourages me to keep persisting. while i'm still manifesting some appearance changes, i do not worry about it anymore, even if i got some mean comments at school. after all, this doesn't happen in my 4d.

i'm sorry if this is lengthy, but i just wanted to thank you by sharing my story. you were by far the biggest with shifting my mindset. this sounds very corny but i don't think i'll ever forget you, even if i'll have my dream life where i don't care about the loa anymore. I hope you know how amazing you are, rem<3

aww this warms my heart!! i'm so glad that i've had such an impact on you! <3

if you're not already, i would advise you to work on self-concept!! that way even if you go to school without your desired face, no one will make fun of you. i hope you have the best year, im wishing you the best of luck!! 🤍

#asks

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myblogdiaries · 2 years

Text

OCTOBER 5, 2022

Life dosent stop for anything or anyone!

Hello everyone,

Someone said this to me and i found it reassuring in a way. To know that the bad times would also become a distant memory is reassuring in a way. I faced alot of things these past few months. The loss of a friendship that i cherished so much, my first ever exam that i failed, my first ever time getting uncontrollably angry at someone. The friendship i lost only taught me how strong i am and how i have more things to put my attention towards rather than focusing it on a bond that was beyond repair. I failed my unit exams in maths only to pass that stupid subject in my mid terms (*proud face), the teacher often pointed me out in class and it was humiliating because i was trying my best but still wasn’t succeeding but instead of seeing things from my point of you, the teacher went on point my incompetence in the subject. I passed the subject and i couldn’t be more proud of myself from getting out of that lump.

All of this pointed out at one thing “time is the biggest healer ” i didn’t use to believe this because i thought that time only made us get used to about the pain and it didnt actually heal anything but i was wrong. I have never been more happy to be wrong! Time taught me patience and how in the end it always works out for the good. It made me wiser and more appreciative of the things i currently have.

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thatgirlwholikestowritestories · 2 years

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The Summer I Fucked Up (Ch 14)

A Conrad predominant retelling of The Summer I Turned Pretty TV show and book series.

Did you read the books and want to understand what was going on in that little noggin of his? Read my fic to find out that this man has zero thoughts

Chapter list

CONRAD

Susannah’s grave was barely even cold when Conrad found out that his dad was trying to sell the Cousins’ house.

He’d come home briefly to pick up a few textbooks for his summer semester. His studies had been hard enough on their own without the burden of his mother’s passing, and now it was unbearable. For the first time in his life, he was failing. He had to enrol in summer classes if he had any chance of making it to next semester.

His dad had taken over Susannah’s office which, in the months before, had become Laurel’s office while she’d been helping take care of her. Before the wake, a bunch of stuff had been shuffled into the office, including his textbooks. He’d barely noticed until now.

He shuffled through the room, looking underneath everything that Laurel and his father had deemed unsuitable for prying eyes. He saw the textbook peeking out from underneath some papers on the desk. Conrad was about to move them aside when he saw a photo of the beach house on one of them.

He read the page and reread it, snatching up the others and reading them too. His dad was selling their house, her house. Adam didn’t even have the dignity to tell them.

“The bastard.”

His dad’s planner was there too, and Conrad flicked through the pages. The movers were coming in a few days to pack up their things. Well, not if Conrad had anything to do with it.

He hopped in his car and drove back to Brown, dropping off his textbook that he somehow managed to remember. He threw a bunch of things in a bag.

As he was rushing back out of his dorm room, he crashed into Ari the RA.

“Woah. Hey, where are you going?”

He didn’t stop. “I’m going to the beach.”

He was half out the door when she called out, “Don’t you have exams coming up?”

None of that mattered. He was on his way to Cousins.

Conrad missed two classes, but he arrived just in time to send the movers away.

The house still smelled like her—Susannah. He let his hands run over everything, the couch, the tables, the counters. All of this, all of it was hers. Conrad’s jaw clenched at the idea that any of it would belong to someone else. It couldn’t. It wouldn’t.

He spent two days alone in the house. It was strange. In all the summers he’d been here, it had never been this quiet. The only time it had ever come close was Christmas with Belly, and even then, their laughter had echoed throughout. Conrad pushed the thought out of his mind.

It had been two months since they’d spoken, longer than that since they’d been happy. Of everything that Conrad avoided thinking about, Belly was one of the biggest. She would creep into his mind at different hours of the days, and he would have to shove her back out again. Conrad was afraid to touch the happy memories at risk of souring them. If he took them out and examined them, if he revelled in those joyful moments, it would only make him feel guilty. How could he think about being happy when his mother was dead? The sad, the angry memories were just as bad. They embittered him.

Go to Hell. I hate you. I never want to see you again.

No. If he thought about them, he would lose himself in that ever-growing canyon forming in his stomach. If he thought about them, he would have to think about what he said, what he did.

He gripped onto those feelings of rage and disgust and disappointment as if they were tangible, something that could keep his head above the constant and crashing waves.

He’d had spent the morning on the water, grateful that the surfs were large and punishing. He was dumped by wave after wave, but it was something he could handle.

He noticed Jere in the kitchen straight away and scoffed. Jeremiah shouldn’t be here. Conrad’s face shifted into something unwelcoming.

He noticed her a second later. He wasn’t expecting her. Belly. He only allowed his eyes to look at her for a fraction of a second, but the pang in his chest made him look away. Instead, he turned his hard glare at his brother.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Conrad’s voice was stone.

“I’m here to pick you up and take you back to school. You really messed up, man. Dad’s going out of his mind.”

“Tell him to screw himself. I’m staying.”

“Con, you’ve missed two classes and you’ve got midterms on Monday. You can’t just bail. They’ll kick you out of summer school.” Jere explained as if it wasn’t Conrad’s life he was talking about.

“That’s my problem.” He couldn’t ignore her presence anymore. He still couldn’t look at her, but everything in him needed to know. “And what’s she doing here?”

She was backing away now.

“I brought her with me to help.” Jere looked in her direction. Conrad noted the hint of concern there. “Look, we’ve got all your books and everything. You can study tonight and tomorrow and then we can head back to school.”

“Screw it. I don’t care.”

“What’s your problem?” Jere asked. Conrad almost wanted to laugh. What wasn’t his problem these days?

“Right now, this is my problem. You and her. Here.” He needed both to be gone. He hated that they were here to try and save him. He didn’t need saving. The house needed saving. He turned to Belly then; she’d been frozen by the sliding doors. “Why do you want to help me? Why are you even here?”

He didn’t keep the iciness from tone or the sharpness from his stare. Her mouth opened to respond, but nothing came out. She closed it. He waited for her to try again, but she didn’t.

It was bitter sarcasm in his voice next. “I thought you never wanted to see me again. You hate me, remember?”

“I don’t hate you.” Her voice was as small as the child he treated her like. Then she was gone. Out the door. Vanished in the wind.

He wished that made him feel better. He raked his hands through his hair.

Jere stared at the spot where Belly vanished from. He took a step towards it, like he considered going after her, but decided against it. When they were younger, Jere would always chase after her when she was upset. He'd hated the thought of anyone being sad, especially Belly.

“Like I said, Jere, I’m not going anywhere.” Jere turned his gaze back to him. “But I can’t stop you from being here either.”

Conrad got up then and went and got changed. He left the house. He didn’t want to be here when Belly got back.

By the time he’d gotten back, Belly had already been and gone. When she did come back, he and Jere were drinking beer on the back deck. She was carrying a paper bag. He could smell the clam rolls from here.

She sat down beside Jere. “Pass me a beer.”

The old Conrad would have said something. He wanted to, but he couldn’t muster up the energy to. He just continued to stare out at towards the setting sun.

Belly and Jere bickered in the background; except he wasn’t really listening. Instead, he reached in and grabbed out one of the rolls and dug in.

She noticed this, like she noticed everything. “You’re welcome.” She added.

He just grunted his thanks. He didn’t trust himself to say anything.

Jere’s phone started buzzing on the table. They all stared at it, but no one moved to answer it. Conrad could assume who it was. Jere had said earlier that their dad had been calling every 15 minutes since they’d arrived in Cousins.

“I’m not leaving this house. Tell him that.”

Jere sighed and took the call inside.

It was just him and Belly out there now. The air was heavy with everything said and unsaid between them. He expected her to say something. In moments like these, she always did.

Instead, she sighed and got comfortable in her seat, her eyes staring out as the sunset painted the skies wonderous colours.

Conrad could pretend, for a second, that everything was fine. Like this summer was like all the others, that his mum was okay, and that he and Belly were… were something—something good.

The next day after Jere and Conrad went surfing and picked up dirt bombs. It would have felt like old times, if it wasn’t for that dark pit that had settled in Conrad’s heart after Susannah died.

Belly came down while they were in the kitchen eating them. Her shorts were so small, he couldn’t help but appreciate the length of her legs. He looked away quickly. Neither of them noticed as Jere offered her a dirt bomb and she dug in.

They turned to him to ask what was going on next.

“You guys should head out soon, if you want to miss the Fourth of July traffic,” Conrad said.

“We’re not leaving without you,” Jeremiah told him.

Conrad exhaled. “Look, Jere, I appreciate you coming here. But as you can see, I’m fine. I’ve got everything under control.”

“Like hell you do. Con, if you’re not back on Monday for your exams, you’re out. The only reason you’re even taking summer school is those incompletes from last semester. If you don’t go back, then what?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll figure things out.”

“You keep saying that, but dude, you haven’t figured out shit. All you’ve done so far is run away.”

Conrad glared at him. He wanted to punch Jere mainly because he was getting on his nerves, but also because he was right. He didn’t let his eyes flicker to Belly. Instead, he thought about how he ran from his dad straight here. Or, how he ran from summer school.

When he didn’t respond, Belly spoke instead, “So, how are you going to become a doctor without a college degree, Conrad?”

His head whipped in her direction. It felt like he was back in the car with her at Christmas on their way to Cousins. When he was hopeful. When he was going to be a doctor. When he was someone completely different. That Conrad was buried with his mother.

“I never said I was going to be a doctor,” he snapped. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She did know—that’s what irritated Conrad the most. He had told her, and she remembered like she always did.

“Then tell us,” Belly said.

No one spoke.

He wasn’t sure if it was the way she said it or their expressions as they looked at him, but Conrad debated telling them then. It would be just as simple as saying, “Dad’s selling the house, and I’m trying to save it.”

Except if it was that simple, why couldn’t Conrad just say it? Why hadn’t he said it when they first arrived? They might have left already if he said it, or they might have stayed. No, Conrad wanted to keep this to himself. He wanted to let Jere keep that image of their father he’d once shared intact. It was his job to protect him, just like he’d promised Susannah.

Conrad stood up. “There’s nothing to tell. I’m gonna head back out there. Thanks for the dirt bombs, Jere.” He turned to Belly and said, “You have sugar all over your face.”

If everything were normal, he would have found it endearing.

He had to pretend that he wasn’t running away when he left this time.

When he returned to the house an hour or so later, Belly was swimming in the pool.

He lifted her towel from where it was lain out on the seat and took its place.

Like so many other times before, Belly didn’t notice him. She went back and forth and back and forth. Regardless of how many laps she did, how many breaths she took, Belly’s pace remained the same. Conrad found comfort in its familiarity, her strokes like a pendulum swing.

She noticed him finally, and Conrad ignored how it made his heart skip a little.

She smoothed her hair back as she hopped out of the water in a gingham bikini he’d never seen before. She never used to wear bikinis, her preference usually for a swimmer’s one piece. Belly only started wearing them last summer. He remembered the purple one she’d worn when she, Jere and the others played chicken last year. He looked away before she noticed that he’d been watching. She was still in her own little world. She wrapped her arms around her body, shivering slightly. He held out her towel without a word and she wrapped it around herself.

She took a seat down next to him. They didn’t look at each other.

He felt the need to say something. He wanted to talk to her despite himself. “Do you still pretend you’re at the Olympics?”

“No,” She hugged her knees to her chest. “Not anymore.”

“When you swim,” he started to say. He almost didn’t finish his sentence. Belly just gets under his skin so easily, and he was still angry at her and everything that happened between them, but grudging respect won over, “You wouldn’t notice if the house was on fire. You’re so into what you’re doing, it’s like you’re someplace else.”

Before she could respond, he started getting up and going back into the house. As the door, slid shut, he heard her call out, “That’s why I like it.”

Conrad didn’t expect Sandy Donatti to show up at the house herself. He’d seen her name on a couple of the documents from his dad’s office. They’d even been pencilled in for a lunch last week.

They were going back and forth about the fact that Conrad had sent away the movers when Belly made her way down the stairs. Sandy looked in and noticed her, her mouth forming in a straight line. “I was told the house would be empty.”

“You were given erroneous information. I’ll be here for the rest of the summer.” He gestured back at her. “That’s Belly.”

“Belly?” she repeated. Was she deaf and dumb?

“Yup. She’s my girlfriend.” He answered without hesitation. Conrad hadn’t noticed he’d said anything wrong, until Belly choked a little in the background.

Crossing his arms and leaning against the wall, he continued. “And you and my dad met how?”

Sandy became nervous then, and Conrad knew he had her on the ropes. With a play of the dead mum card, he sent her packing, saying she would be reaching out to his dad.

“Make sure you let him know the house is off the market.”

Then she was gone.

Conrad closed the door, and without turning in Belly’s direction said, “Don’t tell Jeremiah about the house.”

“Why not?”

He wasn’t going to answer at first. She must have thought he wasn’t going to answer at all since she started moving back upstairs.

“I’ll tell him about it. I just don’t want him to know yet. About our dad.”

She stopped, and leant against the railing, down at him. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Conrad looked at her, his eyes steady.

Belly had always been pretty easy to read. If it were any easier, her thoughts would just be projected onto a TV screen. She knew his dad was an asshole, and that he wanted to protect Jere from that a bit longer. Except Conrad could also tell that she believed Jere already knew and that he definitely deserved to know the house was for sale.

For some reason, it annoyed him. Why should it surprise Conrad that Belly cared about Jere? It shouldn’t, they’d been thick as thieves for years. But if she cared about him too, she should have already said yes.

“So can you do that for me, Belly? Can you keep a secret from your BFF Jeremiah? I know you two don’t keep secrets from each other, but can you handle it just this once?”

He felt her glare in his bones, and her mouth opened to respond, probably tell him to fuck off. He didn’t give her the chance.

“Please?” It was a plea. If he let the asshole bit go for a moment, she’d do it. He knew she would.

“All right. For now.”

“Thank you.”

That afternoon on the waves, Conrad considered telling Jere about the house, but he hadn’t pushed him about school, so he didn’t want to ruin it. Conrad figured that they could enjoy this solitude in solidarity.

They had been joking around as they made their way up the stairs. He saw Belly first, she sat with her towel covering her whole body with her knees to her chest and a beer held tightly in her hand. He wondered why until he noticed his father sitting next to her.

Conrad felt all his muscles go taut, and Jere mumbled a swear next to him.

Conrad didn’t bother to say hello like Jere did, he went straight inside with his father on his heels. He noticed that Jere and Belly didn’t follow immediately, except he did hear her giggle at something Jere had said. Something stirred in his stomach.

Conrad went straight the fridge and got a beer, and Adam started going in on him and Jeremiah about messing with the sale and Conrad not being at college.

Jeremiah was clearly surprised about the house, but it didn’t stop Conrad from shooting shots back at his dad saying he didn’t care about Susannah and only cared about money and Conrad wasn’t like that.

When Adam said he knew what Susannah would have wanted and that he “lost” her too, Conrad saw red. He punched the wall closest to him, wishing it were his father.

“You didn’t lose her. You left her. You don’t know the first thing about what she would have wanted. You were never there. You were a shitty dad and an even shittier husband. So don’t bother trying to do the right thing now. You just fuck it all up.”

Jeremiah said, “Con, shut up. Just shut up.”

Conrad swung around and shouted, “You’re still defending him? That’s exactly why we didn’t tell you!”

“We?” Jeremiah repeated. Conrad had made them out to be some co-conspirators. The colour drained out of his face as he turned to Belly.

Her head shook, in a placating way, “I just found out today, I swear—"

She couldn’t finish because Adam cut her off, “You are not the only one hurting, Conrad. You don’t get to talk to me that way.”

“I think I do.”

Conrad and his father stared each other down. No one else was moving or breathing. He could see that his father wanted to hit him, and Conrad’s eyes dared him too. Adam might be bigger, but Conrad could take him, he just wanted the excuse.

Instead, Adam looked away. “The movers are coming back, Conrad. “This is happening. You throwing a tantrum can’t stop it.”

He left soon after, saying he’d be at the inn in town and would be back in the morning.

It was a while before anyone else spoke, like they’d been frozen in the moment.

Jere was the first to speak. “I can’t believe he’s really selling the house.”

Jeremiah had a much higher opinion of their father than Conrad did. “Believe it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about it?” Jeremiah demanded.

It was enough to ignite an argument between them too. Conrad saying that Jere didn’t need to know and Jere firing back saying he had every right to know, and that Conrad hadn’t saved the house anyways. Conrad retorted calling him a kiss ass and who doesn’t actually see who their father what he is: a dirtbag.

“Don’t call him that.”

“What kind of guy cheats on his wife and then leaves her when she has cancer? What kind of man does that? I can’t even stand to look at him. He makes me sick, playing the martyr now, the grieving widower. But where was he when Mom needed him, huh, Jere?”

“I don’t know, Con. Where were you?”

Conrad sucked in a breath. He would have rather been punched. He had thought about Susannah every day he wasn’t by her side. He had tried—tried to be there, but she wouldn’t let him stay away from school, despite the fact he couldn’t even focus when he was there. He’d offered to stay. He wanted to.

Jeremiah would take it back, he was about it, but Conrad tried to play it off instead. “That’s a low blow.”

“I’m sorry,” Jeremiah said.

Conrad shrugged, brushing him off like it didn’t matter either way.

And then Jeremiah said, “Why can’t you just let it go? Why do you have to hold on to all the shitty stuff that’s ever happened to you?”

“Because I live in reality, unlike you. You’d rather live in a fantasy world than see people for who they really are.” Some small part of him thought this about Belly as well, how she had lived with this fantasy of them rather than notice his cracks.

Jeremiah must have picked up on this too because he bristled, his gaze flicking to Belly and back to Conrad. “You’re just jealous. Admit it.”

“Jealous?” Why had he looked at Belly when he said it?

But the next thing he said wasn’t about her. “You’re jealous that Dad and I have an actual relationship now. It’s not just all about you anymore, and that kills you.”

Conrad actually laughed. It was a bitter, terrible sound. “That’s such BS.” It was his turn to turn to her. “Belly, are you hearing this? Jeremiah thinks I’m jealous.”

They were both looking at her then, expectedly, waiting for her to pick a side. Belly looked like a deer in headlights, frozen in terror. Her eyes shifted wildly between them with indecision.

Jere turned back to him when Belly still hadn’t responded. “You’re an asshole, Conrad. You just want everyone to be as miserable as you are.” And then he walked out. The front door slammed behind him.

“Am I an asshole, Belly?” Conrad asked Belly, even though he suspected he already knew the answer, he wanted to hear her say it. He grabbed a beer, just to give his shaking hands something to do.

“Yeah. You really are.” She confirmed. She went over and peered out the window as Jeremiah drove off. A crease had formed between her eyebrows—the same one that belonged to her maths problems.

“He’ll be back,” Conrad said.

“You shouldn’t have said that stuff.”

“Maybe not.” He conceded.

“You shouldn’t have asked me to keep it a secret from him.”

He could tell she was regretting that she did what he asked.

Conrad shrugged, but his eyes glanced at the window as the Jere’s taillights vanished out of view. He’d be back. He had to come back. If anything, Jere wouldn’t abandon Belly to be here alone with him forever. He wouldn’t punish her like that.

Grabbing another beer, he threw it to her. She caught it and popped the top like she’d done it a thousand times, except Conrad noticed the tiniest little wince when she took a sip. Her lips smacked loudly.

His heart ached a little to see the small ways Belly had changed since they’d spoken last. “So, you like beer now, huh?”

She shrugged. “It’s all right. I still like Cherry Coke better though.”

At least some things hadn’t changed.

He almost smiled when he said, “Same old Belly. I bet if we cut your body open, white sugar would come pouring out of you.”

“That’s me,” I said. “Sugar and spice and everything nice.”

He thought about the funeral when he said, “I don’t know about that.”

A quiet hang over them.

She took another sip of her beer, putting it near him. “I think you really hurt Jeremiah’s feelings.”

He shrugged. “He needed a reality check.”

“You didn’t have to do it like that.” She bit at her thumb nail, still staring towards the door Jeremiah had left through.

She was probably right, but Conrad couldn’t seem to do anything right these days. Instead, he saw an opportunity to turn it on her, to pry. “I think you’re the one who hurt Jeremiah’s feelings.”

It was just starting to come into vision now, all the looks he’d caught Jere sending her way, the fact that Jere even asked her to help find him in the first place. He even seen Jere go into her room the other night to talk. He was probably more hurt that Belly hadn’t said anything to him, hadn’t picked his side than anything else Conrad had said. He wondered how much of it Belly was picking up on. She had always been oblivious to that kind of thing. She had been when it was him and her.

She gave him a sidelong glance. He wanted her to ask what he meant, but instead she said, “What now?”

“What now with you and Jeremiah or with you and me?” His voice was teasing, but the question was genuine.

Maybe it was cruel to tease her like this, knowing he can’t offer her anything. He could see her cheeks redden.

“What now with this house, was what I meant.”

He leaned back against the counter. “There’s nothing to do, really. I mean, I could get a lawyer. I’m eighteen now. I could try and stall. But I doubt it would do anything. My dad’s stubborn. And he’s greedy.”

She looked to her feet, considering her words, “I don’t know that he’s doing it out of—out of greed, Conrad.”

Belly didn’t know their father as well as he did. He felt his face shut like blinds. “Trust me. He is.”

“What about summer school?”

“I couldn’t care less about school right now.” School would always be there, but the beach house wouldn’t be.

“But—” She tried.

He cut her off. His tone allowed for no further conversation. “Just leave it, Belly.”

He didn’t want to be in the kitchen with her anymore.

Next Chapter

#conrad fisher #conrad pov #belly x conrad #belly conklin #conrad fic #conrad fisher fic #The Summer I Turned Pretty #TSITP #tsitp fanfic #tsitp conrad #the summer i fucked up

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