#this has been uh. a review i suppose
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'kay so I doodled another thing before bed, just to test the tool further. I wanted to see what I could do if I went beyond just a sketch with a bit of color slapped onto it.
Not gonna lie after fiddling witth the brushes further I was a bit dissapointed - they're not unworkable, but the limitations are frustrating nonetheless. I ended up doing the lineart as though I was working with a mechanical pencil - set the brush size to being as thin as possible(i worked on a 800x600 pixel canvas here, for the record) and then just sorta went over the parts I wanted to be bolder several times. It didn't turn out great but that's more of a skill issue on my part.
All this isn't to say that's it's bad, for the record, the main goal of the people making this was clearly to make something for people to have fun together with and not a perfect clone of [insert your preffered drawing program here]. If I experimented further I could definitely figure out plenty of interesting things that can be done with just the free features, I just don't have the time or the patience tonight.
#this has been uh. a review i suppose#hm.#my anatomy skills leave much to be desired#but i man did i not feel like using a refference#also hey remember back in 2019 when i doodled a character that sorta reminded me of duck#and then i ended up sorta going with the self indulgent flow without really thinking about it much#and then i drew her like thrice#and then i spent some months ponderign the implications of the worldbuilding and parenthood and also the fact th#that i decided for her to be a very young mom and now i am the age where i decided shed supposedly have had her kid#and also now i've had some time and space to consider the effect that has both on the parent and child#and now instead of a purely self indulgent oc i spat out randomly during a time when#i pinned a lot of my self esteem on the validation i got for running this blog#this is like. someone i can potentially tell an interesting story with?#idk ive been pondering family ties here and there. now and then.#i wanna write stories abou that i think#but oh man i am not at all well practiced story teller#still id like to try#anyway uuuuuh#bertha#my art#fate.txt#this has been. a review and a ramble
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I Want You to Stay (05) | JJK
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; eventual explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)
Chapter Word count: 14.8k
Series Masterlist
Status: Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist 🎶: on the way home
A/N: I deeply appreciate all the love and messages (and anticipation for uh, stuff) but again, it's a slow burn! Thank you so much! 🥰
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight 🥰
PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!
Jungkook sits cross-legged on the couch in his office, his iPad in hand as he goes through the Board report for the nth time these past five days.
Manager Lee and Chin-sun have put together the logistics, construction, and design departments’ reports with the VP’s and Jungkook is supposed to sign these off for submission to the CEO today, who then approves it for submission to the Board members. They have until Friday to review it in time for the meeting happening that same day.
This consolidated report was finalized last Wednesday and Jungkook has been reviewing it everyday since then, including his presentation, making minimal comments and then taking notes on things he’s unfamiliar with. Granted, he’s reporting about the quarter when he’s only been Vice President for a month, which makes you incredibly instrumental in his preparations. As the executive assistant, you have the information that Jungkook needs from Hoseok’s time, and so you’ve also been spending everyday since Wednesday answering all of Jungkook’s questions.
You don’t mind, really, as they’re details you know by heart. It also allows you to show him how involved and meticulous you were under Hoseok’s leadership, and Jungkook’s hums and mumbles of appreciation have helped you gain back the confidence that you lost.
Even if your self-esteem decreased this past month because of the very person sitting in front of you, the fact that Jungkook’s been showing - in his own ways - his trust in you is enough to lift your spirits. He did admit last week that he needs you - something you hadn’t expected him to say - and you could tell it took so much from him to be able to verbalize it. But you suppose you needed that honesty, too; you needed to know that after all that frustration and anger during the first few weeks, there was that realization on his end that you have his back, and you’re just as capable as what everyone has been saying you are.
“What information do you need from me, Mr. Jeon?” You finally ask.
It’s been a good five minutes since Jungkook had asked for you and you’ve just been standing in front of him while he scrolls through the screen, perhaps giving another final look before he finally sends the document to his father.
“Nothing,” he sighs, rolling his head back and closing his eyes. “I just… I just need someone to tell me to stop reviewing this report. I need this out of my sight but I can’t stop checking to make sure everything is okay.”
You look at him intently while he speaks. The tension in his entire face and body is visible, you can even feel it in the room. You feel for him, as he tries to hide the anxiety and desperation. You can tell that he just wants to do well so badly. With the amount of time he’s been spending just going through this, his perfectionist tendency surfaces, and you’re at least thankful that it hasn’t turned him back into an asshole. At least not yet.
“You need to stop reviewing the report, Mr. Jeon, and let it go,” you say as instructed but with sincerity in your words. “You’ve been on this for days. Manager Lee and Chin-sun have reviewed it, and so have I. CEO Jeon could still suggest changes and we won’t know them until he’s reviewed it, but we at least have the details ironed out. If I may suggest, you can send the file to him in the next hour so you can now focus on practicing for your presentation. That may be a better use of your time.”
Jungkook opens his eyes and turns to you. There’s assurance in your words and your voice and like what he told himself he’d do, he’ll trust you and the team. He’s seen how hard everyone has been working for this - Manager Lee and Chin-sun have done so well in consolidating and cross-checking everything; Do-hyun’s presentation is simple yet effective, and Yohan, who’s back from the hospital, has been adding in all the needed details. And there’s you, making sure that everything and everyone is on track, even as you prepare for Jungkook’s upcoming events.
“Okay, then,” he exhales deeply. “I’ll send it in the next half hour.”
Knowing he has a meeting set at 2PM, you ask him if you should order him lunch.
“Yes please,” he answers, saying he wants some braised beef from the restaurant on the next block. “Order for yourself as well, and the rest of the team. You can all get anything you want.”
The silence prompts Jungkook to look at you, and he’s met with a questioning gaze.
“Is there a problem?” He asks.
“N—no,” you answer. “I’d like to confirm again that I’ll be ordering lunch for you and all five of us.”
“Yes, Ms. Cho. That’s what I said.”
You remain unmoving as you wait for him to correct himself. This is the first time that Jungkook has offered to treat the team to a meal. Not that you’ve been waiting for it, but Hoseok took you all out to dinner on his first day as a welcome and a thanks in advance, and once you picked up that Jungkook wasn’t the type to engage with his staff much, you just didn’t expect anything. So takeaway lunch from a nice restaurant is definitely surprising.
“Okay, sir,” you say. “I will do that. I’m sure the team will appreciate it.”
Jungkook merely hums, his eyes focused on the screen now as you bow and head out.
You go meet the team and as you expected, everyone looks at you in shock.
“Did the real Mr. Jeon get abducted?” Do-hyun asks. “Because treating us is something he wouldn’t do.”
“Yah! It may be a month late but let’s just be thankful, okay?” You frown at her. “He can see that everyone’s been working hard and I’m sure he appreciates that, and he may not be able to say it but he can at least show us.”
“While he’s at it, he can maybe at least say thank you or you know, smile every once in a while,” Chin-sun sighs.
“We’ll get there. He knows he needs to do better and he will, I’ll make sure of that,” you assure them, thinking about the conversation from last week.
Jungkook wants you to help him and for his sake and everyone else’s, you’ll make sure that you do.
“Well, is he better to you?” Do-hyun asks, her face in a pout because she’s seen you skip meals several times and even cry, and she’d wanted so many times to just hug you, but she knows it’s not something you openly receive.
“Yes,” you say, knowing it will drive your point. “I’d like to think that the worst is over and I can just focus on doing better and helping him. It would be great if the rest of us could do the same.”
“She’s right,” Manager Lee chimes in. “We grow when we adapt, and much more when we’re able to move on and learn from our experiences. It hasn’t been the best month but it’s also just been a month. So let’s be grateful for the meal and just continue with the good work we’ve been doing, okay?”
You give them the warmest smile you can muster, hoping this would be enough.
It seems to be, as they all excitedly give their orders, which you and Yohan pick up from the restaurant. You return and after giving Jungkook his food, you head to the other room to eat as well.
The team enjoys the meal, with Do-hyun dramatically stating that it’s the best beef brisket she’s ever had. And you agree; there’s a reason why Jungkook gets this every week.
Jungkook can hear laughter and satisfied hums from the support team office, with Do-hyun, he supposes, claiming that it feels like Christmas. Yohan says it’s a much-needed post-recovery treat, and even Manager Lee - who’s often serious - cracks a few jokes. Jungkook can pick out your sound, too, noting the joy that emanates from it. He allows himself a small smile, knowing that given how he’s been to everyone this past month, he at least could give his team this highlight of their day.
He stands by the door, initially going unnoticed, until Chin-sun catches sight of him and alerts everyone that he’s there. The room goes silent, and Jungkook looks on as his staff quietly munch their food and bow to him in greeting. The teasing and laughter have gone; worried eyes are what he sees instead.
Your initial surprise at seeing him melts away. He rarely drops by for anything, even for a greeting or to just check up on the team, unlike Hoseok who liked to come here often to de-stress after long meetings. But you sense Jungkook’s awkwardness at the silence, with his hands in his pockets and his blank gaze, so you smile at him and hope that eases the tension a bit.
“Lunch was great, Mr. Jeon,” you say. “Thank you.”
“It was,” Manager Lee pipes in. “The roast pork was so delicious. The potato salad was very good, too.”
You look at the others and encourage them to say something as well, and they hum in agreement and say their thanks.
“The beef brisket was heavenly,” Do-hyun raves. “Thank you! I hope it’s not the last time.”
She awkwardly chuckles, realizing that her boss isn’t one she should be joking with, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to take offense, as he purses his lips - perhaps to hide a smile, revealing a tiny dimple that catches you off guard.
“It won’t be. And uh, it was a month late, so I’m glad you all enjoyed it,” he replies, a tinge of disappointment now painting his face.
There’s another moment of silence and you observe him, hands still in his pockets, looking around awkwardly, unable to meet anyone’s eyes.
“It’s greatly appreciated, sir,” you assure him once more. “We hope you had a good lunch as well.”
“I’m just about to have it, actually,” he says. “I sent the report to the CEO and he must’ve been waiting for it because he read it right away and called to give feedback.”
“Oh? How did CEO Jeon find it?” Manager Lee asks.
“He said it was good. There are just minor things he asked me to change but I can do them on my own,” Jungkook answers. “I appreciate everyone’s hard work. Now, we can focus on our upcoming events and the Arts Center.”
The team immediately starts packing and swallowing their food, and Jungkook has to stop them.
“Not right now,” he clarifies. “Continue with your meal. And don’t stay too late. We’ve got another busy week ahead.”
“Yes, Mr. Jeon,” everyone says in unison.
Jungkook nods and starts walking away, leaving all five of you with confused looks, as Jungkook has never spoken to the team in such a calm and friendly manner. It was always firm and professional, low and stoic.
You scurry out the room and follow him. Jungkook gives you a questioning look when you enter his office shortly after he does, and you pick up his untouched lunch from the table and inform him that you’ll heat it up, knowing he doesn’t like to eat his food cold.
You go back to the pantry then return to Jungkook’s room, his beef brisket dish now properly placed in a bowl. He gives you a nod, his form of acknowledgment and thanks, you suppose, and you ask the question you’ve had since his earlier stop at the team’s office.
“Are the edits really just minor?” You wonder, knowing that CEO Jeon is meticulous and quite particular with these board reports.
Jungkook takes a moment to respond. He should know that you’ve done this a few times and are probably used to how his father is already, which means you’d see right through him as well.
“Well, they’re not major,” Jungkook says. “I mean, they’re not trivial corrections. The details are all good but I need to change some terminologies and framing and some construction of the sections based on the Board’s current concerns, especially about the Arts Center. They’re not that substantial but it’ll still take me an hour or so.”
“Why did you tell the team that they were minor, then?”
“So they won’t offer to help.”
“But they would. I would,” you tell him. “It’s our job.”
“I was going to ask, but it’s your break time. Everyone was enjoying their meals and each other. First time I’ve seen that, actually. I know it doesn’t happen when I’m around.”
“It’s just that you’re not—”
“Hoseok,” he finishes for you.
“Not someone they’re comfortable being themselves around,” you correct him.
“Yes, not like Hoseok,” he pushes.
“You said it the first day, Mr. Jeon. You do things very differently from your cousin. Your personalities are very different, too. We had him for three years and for Yohan and Do-hyun, he was their first boss,” you explain. “They’re just not used to you yet.”
“What about you? Are you used to me by now?”
There’s sudden tension in the room as he looks at you with the desire for honesty, and it’s what you give.
“I’m not quite sure.”
Jungkook doesn’t really know what he expected, as the question just slipped past his mouth before he could pull it back, so he just nods and proceeds to take his late lunch, wanting to forget that he’d asked at all.
You take this as a signal to head out, which you do, before reminding him that he can ask you for help if he needs another pair of eyes before he submits his part again. Jungkook just nods once more, and it’s later in the day, after the third cup of coffee that you take to his room, that he says his father’s already approved the version he sent after you went through it upon his request. You know that’s just half of what he needs to do though, as he’ll still need to present it to the Board this coming Friday.
“You may go home, Ms. Cho,” he says after he signs some documents for you.
“How about you, Mr. Jeon?” You ask.
It’s been a long day, an extension of an even longer weekend because he’d been at a work event and then reviewed the report as well.
“I’ll probably stay back and go over the presentation. Maybe practice a little.”
You purse your lips, holding something back.
“Should I not?” He wonders.
“Just thinking that it might be better for you to take a proper rest tonight,” you advise.
“I’ll think about it. It’s gonna be a tough one on Friday and I want to be prepared.”
“I understand,” you smile. “I’ll go ahead, Mr. Jeon.”
Jungkook holds your gaze for a while before he nods and returns to his screen, going through the presentation slides and the notes he scribbled on his iPad. But try as he might, the graphs and the words just go over his head.
He does need to rest, he thinks. He hasn’t really taken a break all weekend. His hookup from last night was the only relief he got, but that was to expend all the negative energy from the anxiety and stress, and he realizes that he probably doesn’t know what proper rest is, like what you suggested he have. He wonders if you’ve ever had one, or if it’s something you stopped having ever since you started working for him.
Taking your advice, he heads out. It’s only been 30 minutes and he assumes you’re already on the bus and on the way home. He sits in the passenger seat, letting Mr. Ri’s choice of music fill the car as Jungkook’s mind wanders to you - how you laughed at the team’s antics, how you got them to assure him, how you read him well, how you were patient and helpful, and how you seemed concerned about how tired he’s been.
He’ll chalk it up to you doing your job and helping him as he asked you to do; he always will. He can’t ever think that any of your actions mean more even if deep down, he wishes they do, only so he knows that you don’t hate him, that you’ve forgiven him for things he never apologized for, that you’ll stay for as long as possible. There’s something about your honesty and calm presence that stabilizes him, that makes him take a pause.
Jungkook’s worked hard on his career for the past decade and it’s all he focuses on; it’s all he thinks about. But when you’re there, he’s forced to stop and think about you. He’s noticed that just this past week - when you’re around, he listens; when you’re close to him, he breathes. Ironic, really, considering that every time you close the distance - when you fix his tie or look at his screen over his shoulder or help him retrieve portfolios - he remains still, his heart stopping and his throat drying up, afraid to take in your scent or to know just how fast his pulse would race or what words he’d say that he won’t be able to contain.
He’s afraid to know you, only because what he’ll learn might make him want you. And Jungkook knows that he can’t let himself feel that about you in any way.
He sighs as he looks out the window - cars in line to cross the intersection, people walking to their destination. He thinks he’s hallucinating as he sees your smile, but a bus blocks his view and Mr. Ri steps on the gas.
Outside, you smile to yourself as you wait in line. You were held up at the lobby because Bitna caught you in the elevator and didn’t want to let you go just yet, so you left the office just minutes ago and were waiting at the bus stop when a familiar car showed up and you saw Jungkook looking out the window. He opted to leave early, too; you can only hope he’ll take your advice and rest tonight.
But the thought that what you said prompted him to take a pause from work stirs something within. Maybe it’s because he’s finally listening to you, or that it seems like he trusts you now. Whatever it is, for as long as it makes your job bearable, you’re all for it.
It doesn’t take away from the moments you’ve shared where it seems like the world stops for a bit as you hold each other’s gazes for the shortest of seconds. There’s tension where there shouldn’t be, and there’s something different in his eyes when there used to be disdain, one which you can’t read nor identify. It leaves you still for the briefest of moments, unguarded and a little bare, as he seems to tell you something with just a look and you just don’t know what it is.
As you find a rare seat in the bus, you let the musings go. Jungkook is a man who holds in him a million thoughts a day and those moments with you seem to be his only reprieve; perhaps they’re also just instances of temporary lags or the rare silence and stoppage of everything. In some odd way, it allows you to see him as the human that he is - exhausted, unsure at times, but seemingly yearning for something.
There’s always an emotion or a thought or a word that he holds in, and you can only wish - as your relationship with him improves - that whatever it is he’s holding back, he’ll find a way to express it.
“Do you have any advice for the Board meeting?”
Jungkook slides the question in before Hoseok heads to the elevator and off to an event. They’ve just finished having a check-in with CEO Jeon, who wanted to make sure that the two of them are well-prepared for this Friday, given that presenting during these meetings and contributing to policy and strategy are crucial in their roles as President and Vice President. Jungkook won’t admit that it caused him a bit of anxiety, but he’ll surely take the chance to ask his cousin for tips on how to make sure that he doesn’t screw up.
“I do,” Hoseok answers as he holds off on pressing the button. “Ask your assistant. And then listen to what she says.”
Jungkook visibly sighs. “Hoseok, I mean it.”
“I mean it, too,” the older man replies. “If it’s anything about our strategic plan or policies, just take my lead. And it’s your very first so you’re expected to still be adjusting. If it’s about the presentation, let ___ brief you about it. She’s been with me every single time I had to present. When I was focused on what I had to say, she was focused on how the Board was reacting and how those translated to the questions they eventually asked. She’d know what you’ll need to emphasize on or who you need to be wary of.”
There’s an unsure look in Jungkook’s eyes, and Hoseok knows it isn’t about trusting you. It’s about him.
“You’re scared, aren’t you?” Hoseok asks. “What are you afraid of, Kook?”
“You know what they think of me,” Jungkook sighs. “I don’t want to screw up and give them more reasons to doubt me because they already do. And they’re definitely gonna ask about the Arts Center. What if they bring up my disappointing social skills? I don’t wanna end up feeling inadequate and embarrassing father.”
“Keep thinking that way and you will,” Hoseok huffs. “Look. Our family owns the company. You and I were trained to run it after my sister and your brother decided they didn’t want to. The Board knows this. They’ll either stay in our good graces or plot against us. Your father knows that, too, and that’s why he’s being hard on both of us because he knows what we’ll have to face. That also just means he’ll always be on your side. He’ll always be on ours. The Board could be intimidating but we still hold the power. They’ll impose or question or cast doubt because they want to feel that sense of control. It’ll only affect you if you let them.”
“Okay” is all that Jungkook manages to say, a tinge of resignation on his face as he takes in his cousin’s words.
“You’ve managed worse people than them,” Hoseok assured him. “Just focus, stand by your project, and engage them. Simple as that.”
“Yes, it’s very simple,” Jungkook chuckles with a shake of his head.
“Like I said, your assistant’s there for a reason, Kook. This is when I get to tell you that it’s her job. We would prepare together and debrief right after, and it always helped because she fills in gaps and informs me of things I missed. Trust me. Trust her.”
The thing is, Jungkook does; he doesn’t need to be reminded that he should trust you because he’s learned to do that, despite it seemingly impossible given that you both started off on the wrong foot. It’s the thought of spending more time with you, during a time when he’s still trying to get used to you and how you affect him, that makes him worried about this. But it’s not something he can talk about with Hoseok. It’s not something he can talk about with anyone.
“Fine,” Jungkook finally says. “I’ll talk to her.”
“Good. I’ll go now. Have dinner at home tomorrow, okay? And I’ll see you when I get back.”
Jungkook waves the older man goodbye and then returns to his office, where he finds you dropping some files off for signing.
“Payment requests for the event,” you explain, earning you a nod from him as he walks to his seat. “How did the meeting with your father go, Mr. Jeon?”
“As I expected,” he huffs. “A bit of encouragement, more of the pressure. He’d slide in reminders of what the Board thinks of me and how I should present myself.”
“Is the pressure helping?” You ask.
“A little,” he sighs, sinking into his chair and exhaling deeply. He rolls his head back and closes his eyes, allowing himself a few seconds of peace. “But I still need help. Hoseok said I can get it from you.”
“You know, he oversells me sometimes,” you manage to laugh, prompting Jungkook to look at you now. “I know I’m competent. But I don’t know about being your source of help for a Board meeting any more than providing you with data.” Jungkook likes to do things on his own after all, you think to yourself.
“But you’ve been to as many Board meetings as he has.”
“Yes, but only for his presentation.”
“And that’s what I need help with,” he says. “I just need direction, I guess. Or affirmation that how I’m doing it is the right way. Or tips on who to woo or who to not take seriously.”
Jungkook has been to a few Board meetings but he’s never had to present anything. He’s also never had to engage with the members so he didn’t pay much attention to them because he didn’t feel the need to. These appointments were all a few years too early, and while he’d had a critical position in the Southeast Asian headquarters, everything had gone through his uncle who headed the office then.
This is the first time that Jungkook feels the magnitude of all his decisions, and that every move he makes is being assessed. And even with his father and Hoseok giving him guidance, they have their own teams to manage and an entire company to run, just like him. Somehow, with all the people around him, Jungkook still feels alone.
You, with your perpetual presence and surprising warmth, are the only one who makes him feel otherwise. And it terrifies him more than anything.
“Well, I’ve picked up a few things along the way,” you hum. “I can maybe go through my notes and share them with you.”
“Good. I’d like to do that over lunch, since I’ll have you and Manager Lee watch me practice the presentation around 2.”
Jungkook picks up the slight fall of your face. “Is that a problem?” He asks. “Did you have lunch plans?”
“Nothing more important than assisting you, Mr. Jeon,” you say, a change of expression indicating that you indeed had prior commitments that you’re putting off because of him. “I’ll inform Manager Lee about meeting with him after.”
You head out and return to your desk to work on your remaining tasks for the morning until lunch time rolls by and you accompany Jungkook to a nearby restaurant as he’d asked. You try not to get too excited about the meal in front of you and then control yourself from letting out orgasmic sounds from the succulent piece of salmon that’s melting in your mouth. This check-in seems too important for Jungkook and you want to support him in any way you can.
“How was Hoseok during his first Board meeting?” Jungkook starts.
“Nervous, a little rattled. His sister left him behind with a lot of work and she was abroad for most of the time so they weren’t able to meet up,” you share. “But he got up there and presented all the office’s gains for the past months and then explained his plans moving forward. He had all these good ideas on policy and strategy and he articulated them well. He had to take over multiple small projects and he showed how he planned to manage all of them. His charms sort of hid away the anxiety he was feeling and I guess that eventually helped him get rid of it.”
“Well, that’s one thing I can’t claim that I have,” Jungkook sighs.
He looks at you to see your reaction, and the awkwardness on your face makes him internally laugh.
“I can lie to you if you want me to,” you say, and he chuckles, surprising you both, though he acts like he doesn’t mind.
“I’d actually want you to be as honest with me as possible, Ms. Cho. I don’t want you, of all people, to suck up to me to get on my good graces.”
“Great, since I wasn’t on it in the first place,” you trail, earning you another laugh, and you wish this could at least lessen the pressure he’s putting himself under.
“That’s true,” he says, holding your gaze. He turns to his food before he gets sucked in your gorgeous eyes even more. “But I mean it. I don’t exactly know how to charm people, much less the Board. I don’t want to add to the narrative they already have of me having terrible social skills. But I also don’t want them to think I’m being fake or pretentious.”
“If I may, you’ll botch that aspect if you keep thinking about it,” you advise. “Perhaps you can just focus on what you’re good at. Delivering a presentation, regardless of what it’s about, is a skill. You have all the information and I can add some more if you’re not confident with them. You also tweaked some existing processes and you can build on it. But also, the Arts Center will definitely be their focus, so talk about it the way you would with your father and the team… and me. You let us envision it with your words and your visuals and those are all you need.”
“Okay then. I’ll just imagine they’re all vegetables or something so I can focus.”
“Mrs. Doi likes making eye contact because she wants to feel like you’re conversing with her,” you say. “Mrs. Seo asks a lot of irrelevant questions but you have to answer as if they’re important. Mr. Ong likes being acknowledged every time he says something or even nods. So I don’t recommend acting as if they’re inanimate. Maybe just with Mr. Wang because he falls asleep in everything, but don’t take it personally. I think it’s a medical condition.”
Jungkook’s amused look encourages you to continue.
“Mr. Mun doesn’t really get design and building terms so you’d have to explain them at least twice. Mr. Bong tends to act all mighty but he doesn’t really know much. Same with Mr. Im and Ms. Hwa. The rest are fine,” you say. “Mr. Saito is very thoughtful. He’s a designer so his insights would be good. Ms. Cheng is unproblematic and overall just supportive. Mr. Yeon is just… there. They’re quite intense when it comes to profits and the company’s image but if you stand by what you know, they won’t really say much.”
“Wow, that’s… that’s a lot to take in. And also very informative,” Jungkook states. “I never noticed any of those.”
“Well, you had your reasons to be in those meetings and maybe you didn’t have a reason to pay attention to them,” you shrug. “I do. I thought it was an added way that I could help Mr. Jung. Assistants are asked to sit on the side of the room so we can be easily signaled for anything and I thought I could use that position to observe the Board members and see how they respond to the presentation. It helped for the succeeding ones and it took the pressure off him in terms of needing to appease them.”
“Makes sense,” Jungkook hums. “Worrying about how they’ll react or what they’ll say is half of the pressure.”
“It is. I couldn’t help Mr. Jung for his first time because it was mine, too, but he picked things up quite easily. He knew who to pay attention to.”
“Well, considering that I don’t seem to be ideal for this relationship-heavy position, I’ll have to pay attention and appease all of them, it seems.”
“If I may, Mr. Jeon, you can take it as a challenge,” you advise, feeling more comfortable in being honest now. “I may be just a humble assistant but I’ve seen things. With all the praises for Mr. Jung - which are deserved, of course - I’ve witnessed his moments of distress, which is perfectly normal for anyone. A-yeong had to remind him of how good he was everyday because he needed that push and it helped him. It also helped that he was trying to prove something and that he was always told that he had all the qualities to do that.”
“Not everyone has a supportive wife like him though. Or like my father,” Jungkook laughs dryly.
“They had supportive assistants,” you offer, trying to be optimistic. “I had to fill-in as Mr. Jung’s sounding board and I was always in awe at his approach to things.”
“Which is very different from mine, I know,” Jungkook says unintentionally, the sigh making you feel like he’s tired of the comparison, and you feel a bit bad at having to seemingly remind him of that.
“And which isn’t bad at all,” you try to assure him. “Just because it’s different, doesn’t mean it’s not right.”
Well, it wasn’t right to treat you the way I did, he wants to say, but the words stay in his head and at the tip of his tongue.
“That’s… comforting,” he says instead.
“I was trying to be assuring but comforting is fine, too,” you chuckle. “But I mean it, sir. I know there are all these expectations and I won’t be able to truly understand what the pressure is like but if you allow it to challenge you, you might even surprise yourself. And then you’ll end up surprising them, too. But do it for you. At the end of the day, they’re just the Board but you’re the Vice President. And you’re you. You’re all you can control.”
There’s a beat of silence as Jungkook takes in everything you’d said. You have this persistence about you that’s reflected in the way you carry yourself and in the way you relate with others, especially towards him despite how he’d treated you not long ago. Regardless of what you said, he thinks you know exactly what he feels when it comes to dealing with pressure. He supposes that working for his family can do that to someone, especially when it’s him.
“Such moving words, Ms. Cho,” he finally says.
“I didn’t mean to give unwanted advice,” you shake your head in disappointment.
“I needed it though,” he surprises you. “Other than Hoseok or even Yoongi, who are both busy themselves, I only have you as a sounding board. And as support. So, uh, thanks.”
He says his gratitude with a soft tone, almost embarrassingly. You can tell it’s something he doesn’t say that often, but you take it, as you think it’s another step towards him trusting you even more. And you need that trust for now; it’s this peaceful and honest dynamic with him that’s making your job bearable.
Lunch continues with Jungkook asking more questions about some of the Board members and you dishing some dirt on some of them as what you’ve heard in the office washrooms, perhaps the only gossip you don’t take with a grain of salt. He’s amused, and you think this is the most expressive you’ve seen him.
You proceed to meet with Manager Lee in the conference room where Jungkook goes through each slide presentation, asking both of you for more information he thinks he needs and about how he’s carrying himself, his tone, his pace, and his engagement. It’s good enough for a first run-through, Manager Lee says, and Jungkook decides to dry-run it again on Thursday.
The rest of your day goes by a little stressfully. There are multiple events that you have to organize and coordinate with other offices, and those are what you work on until you clock out on time.
Jungkook stays behind for only half an hour before deciding he’s had enough of looking through his notes and will return to them tomorrow. He takes the elevator and nods when Yoongi enters.
“Hey,” Jungkook greets. “How are the designs for the Changwon mid-rise?”
“It’s 6:00. I don’t wanna talk about work,” Yoongi whines.
Jungkook knows this. It’s also why he likes to tease his friend about it.
“Fine. We can just stand next to each other awkwardly until we have to get off,” Jungkook says.
“Hmm,” Yoongi hums. “Or, we can talk about how my lunch plans changed because someone asked my lunch partner for a meeting.”
The tension immediately rises and Jungkook hates how affected he is by Yoongi’s teasing.
“Ah, so it was you. Well, she did say it wasn’t as important as what we were meeting about,” Jungkook hits back.
“True. It’s about the Board meeting after all. It’s a pretty big deal.”
Jungkook starts to feel hot all over, as the thought of you and Yoongi conversing about your thwarted lunch plans because of him plays in his head. It’s a mix of frustration and disappointment. While the meeting was in no way confidential, he just hates the idea that it was something you shared with Yoongi. Perhaps it’s just after the fact, considering that Jungkook thinks it was a good lunch. You clearly enjoyed the dish - he could see how you tried to control your reactions to it - and your conversations went by smoothly. You were honest and supportive; he was open and all the more surprised with how well you were able to calm him down. It’s as if someone else was privy to that moment you both shared, even if Yoongi wasn’t there.
“Huh, I thought you were over her,” Jungkook says, the bitterness slicing through. If his friend picks it up, he doesn’t say anything.
“I am. We were just gonna have lunch at this noodle house because she was craving it,” Yoongi clarifies. “I told you, I’m her only friend here. It’s nice to share a meal with someone who cares about you every once in a while, you know? It’s hard being a working adult and we all need a bit of a break and a companion sometimes. It didn’t mean anything more than that.”
Jungkook chooses not to respond and Yoongi could tell why. There’s this look of annoyance painting the younger man’s face, which makes him a lot more transparent than he wishes he was.
But Yoongi can see right through his friend. It’s not something he raises though, but he won’t be surprised if Jungkook dwells on this. He just hopes it isn’t to your detriment again.
The ride home wasn’t as terrible last night, and after your elder neighbor gave you some stew because she cooked too much, you had a satisfying dinner and an even more satisfying slumber.
You feel like the end of the week isn’t too far ahead - although there really isn’t anything exciting for you except for a date with your bed - and you just want to get through all your tasks for the day and get that jjajangmyeon that Yoongi said he’ll get for you today so you can eat it for dinner. You were initially upset at having to pass up on him for yesterday’s lunch, but you’d be the first to admit that sharing that meal with Jungkook was still worthwhile.
Not only was the dish you ordered one of the best things you’ve ever eaten, it was also nice to see Jungkook loosen up a bit after feeling tense all morning because of his presentation. You liked that he’s being open to getting support from you, as it seems that he sees you now as more than just the assistant who’s there to serve him. He seems to appreciate your thoughts and didn’t even act bitterly when you gave him unsolicited advice. You feel even more that your relationship improves daily.
That is, until you enter his penthouse this Wednesday morning with barely a look of acknowledgement from him. Going through your routine, he doesn’t say much; he stays silent the entire ride to the office as well.
When you enter his room to serve his coffee, his furrowed brows have returned and his jaws are clenched as he types away on his desktop.
“Ms. Cho,” he calls out, his voice stern once again.
You turn around to face him, wondering what has happened since you left the office yesterday.
“Yes, Mr. Jeon?”
“I just wanted to raise that while I understand you have personal relationships with other employees, I do not appreciate you divulging the topics of our meetings with them. Even if they’re my friend as well.”
His last sentence gives away who he’s talking about, and the conversation with Yoongi after you canceled your lunch plans with him rings in your head.
It was a harmless statement, you want to say; you didn’t share any more than it being a meeting about his presentation. There was no ill-intent in you telling Yoongi why you couldn’t see him for lunch. But you choose to pass up on reasoning with Jungkook. He builds his wall up even more when you do, and you don’t want things to be that way again, not when they seemed to be going okay already these past few days.
So you nod and concede. “I understand, Mr. Jeon, and I apologize. I won’t do it again.”
Jungkook can’t help but just look at you, internally smacking himself as your face falls further and as you, once again, feel far away because of his own stupidity.
“Is there anything else you need, sir?”
He shakes his head no, and you bow in response, heading out, with the sadness in your eyes as the last thing he sees.
Jungkook is unable to focus on his emails and the conference call he takes part in. The words and thoughts are all jumbled when he practices his presentation, as his gaze constantly flits to your spot just outside where you sit, doing your tasks while looking detached and dejected.
He assumes you didn’t come to work expecting to be called out the way he did with you, which in hindsight, didn’t seem necessary, especially knowing how it’s affecting you right now. Things were going well between both of you after all - he’s being more open and you’re being more comfortable. Information was flowing smoothly, and communication has improved. And he just went ahead and screwed all that up.
Jungkook starts to feel stuffy. He’s been in his office working on things for the Arts Center and practicing most of the day, with you only coming in to bring the lunch he’d asked Mr. Ri to buy and his cups of coffee. You’ve avoided his gaze and haven't said much to him, too.
He decides to take a walk outside. The outdoor space on this floor has nice benches and a small garden that overlooks the Han River. He’s seen the team eat there sometimes, and while the weather may be a little too hot for it, he’d much rather breathe in the air than his humidifier.
But as he takes his time to open the door, he hears a familiar voice from outside.
“Fine, if you won’t take the sandwich, at least take the noodles,” Yoongi says. “You’ve been craving that all weekend.”
“Not anymore,” you huff, seemingly annoyed.
“Hey, did I do something wrong?” Yoongi asks, calm and understanding in tone, traits that Jungkook could only hope to have.
“No… I don’t know,” you sigh. “Just that, whatever I talk to you about or mention, other people don’t need to know them, okay? No matter how harmless they are. Let’s just… not talk about work stuff. Especially in the office. That’s it.”
“Ah, so that’s what this is about.”
“What do you—”
“Mr. Min,” Jungkook calls out, fully opening the door now. “I have design guidelines I need you to go over. I need them by tomorrow morning.”
“Okay, Jungkook,” Yoongi bitterly replies, knowing what’s happened. “Just send them over to me.”
“Ms. Cho will do that right now.”
You nod in acknowledgement of Jungkook’s instruction and remain focused on your desktop. There’s silence in the air and tension that you can’t deal with right now.
“Can I help you with anything else, Mr. Min?”
“Nah. If I do, I’ll check with your boss first if I can ask you for it. Don’t want you getting in trouble because of me.”
You finally look up at him, a tinge of annoyance painting his face, a rarity since Yoongi doesn’t seem to ever be irate about anything.
“And I’ll just take this jjajangmyeon if you don’t want it,” he adds, taking the container that’s on the ledge of your desk with him, before walking out of your area.
You can’t help the pout that forms on your lips. You really love that noodle house’s version and you’ve been craving it for days. It’s where you and Yoongi were both supposed to have lunch yesterday but Jungkook spoiled it, and it wouldn’t have mattered as much, until it became a reason for him to be upset with you again. You’re not exactly sure why, but much as you want to question your boss this time, you don’t have the energy for it. It doesn’t seem worth it, but it also doesn’t change the fact that Yoongi might have said something to Jungkook, and that’s a dynamic you’re still unsure how to read or deal with.
Your gaze shifts to the man himself, who looks less annoyed than he did at the start of the day. You don’t know how his practice has been going, since he hasn’t asked you to run it with him, but you suppose he’s doing alright. He’s been in his room all day doing that and taking calls in between.
Jungkook looks away and heads out. He lets the summer air clear his mind a little before he goes back inside. It’s 6PM by the time he emerges from his room, surprised at seeing your face still buried in piles of papers.
“Ms. Cho, I’ll be heading to Hoseok’s for dinner,” he says, getting your attention. “Anything that needs my signature or approval can wait tomorrow.”
He hopes you’ll read through his words, as he wishes you’d take a rest yourself, like you advise him to do.
“Finance needs your expense reports first thing tomorrow morning, Mr. Jeon,” you say, a little too stoic than he’s used to. “These can be signed tomorrow when you arrive.”
Jungkook just nods, knowing there’s not much he can do if you don’t want to go home yet. But he does leave you with a reminder.
“Ms. Cho,” he says before leaving. He’s met with curious eyes that he tries not to fall into. “Make sure to eat a proper dinner.”
He walks out too quickly, not wanting to see your reaction.
You’re too tired to react, but that just pushes you to finish all your work and head to the pantry for some biscuits. It’s then that you see the paper bag with a note on it.
For ___. Do not touch!
At the back, Yoongi writes, I’m sorry. Here’s a man who knows how to apologize, you think to yourself.
The bowl of jjajangmyeon is inside, as well as a container of gimari. The scent reminds you of how hungry you are, so you heat up the noodles and inhale your dinner as you stand by the table. The empty office and the faint sounds of the air conditioning make you think of how alone you really are - working past your hours on a Wednesday evening, a takeaway meal from a friend you’re pushing away, and a stressful trip back to your empty studio apartment.
You rarely ever feel lonely. You don’t equate being alone with that specific emotion or state. There’s certainty and clarity you get from being on your own. But on certain days, you let yourself crack a little and be vulnerable. On certain days, you let yourself admit that being alone makes you feel lonely, and that at this precise moment, it’s exactly what you feel.
You send Yoongi a message of thanks but don’t extend the conversation after he replies. You know it isn’t his fault, and knowing him, he wouldn’t have deliberately said anything that would’ve put you in this position. It could just be Jungkook misconstruing things, but you’ve been caught off guard and you don’t feel like dealing with anyone right now.
Resuming your work, you do your last review of the expense report and leave it on his desk for his signature in the morning - a struggle considering how messy it is, which is also a rarity, as he always likes to keep things organized. You can tell how stressed he is just by this, and the thought hits you again that it’s the Board meeting in two days, and he needs you to be your best for him; he needs you to be calm and stable for him.
Whatever you’re feeling can be pushed to the side until next week. You’ll talk to Yoongi after all this is over, you tell yourself; it’s more important that you focus on your tasks and just act as professionally and as unbothered as possible.
That proves to be easy early the next morning. You go about preparing Jungkook’s day in his penthouse, going over your coordination and organization of the upcoming events and acting as if what happened yesterday doesn’t bother you, with him not acting out of the ordinary, too. It’s easy when you get to the office as well. He signs off on the expense reports and you go to finance with only minimal clarifications needed.
But when you return to your desk and Jungkook calls you to his room, you feel the tension start to build as you find Yoongi seated on the chair, his face turning sullen at the sight of you.
You nod at him but look away immediately, shifting your gaze towards Jungkook.
“What can I help you with, Mr. Jeon?”
“Deciding on the pieces to be displayed in the event halls of the Arts Center,” he replies. “Artist Lee Jaemin gave us her portfolio for us to choose from. And I’d like you and Yoongi to work on it together before lunch.”
This prompts you to look at Jungkook in surprise. He just told you off about the things you told Yoongi - which, to your defense, wasn’t even anything substantial - and now he’s making you work with the man.
“What about the run through of your presentation, sir?” You ask.
“I’ll do it with Manager Lee. His feedback will be adequate,” Jungkook replies. “I need your options because I’ll be speaking with her tonight about the chosen pieces.”
“I…, uh,” you stutter. “In what way can I be of help, Mr. Jeon? Wouldn’t Mr. Min be enough to make those decisions?”
“You hold the budget, Ms. Cho,” he reminds you. “We need to make sure we follow it. And you and Mr. Min understand my vision more than anyone and I need both of you to bring that to life with those artworks. I’m packed with meetings today so I don’t have time to sort through all of them. I trust that you’ll make the best decisions.”
“Of course we will, Jungkook,” Yoongi says, a bit of bitterness laced in it. “___ and I work well together. It isn’t the first time.”
Jungkook merely nods, and you feel the tension build up even more as both men share hardened looks that you can’t particularly decipher.
“I… I’ll go ahead and prepare the conference room. I shall see you there shortly, Mr. Min.”
You exit the office and breathe a sigh of relief from being out of there. You don’t know what their friendship is like, so you’re unsure if the tension is a sign of something serious or if it’s just a normal thing for them. You choose to brush it off for now and prepare for the meeting, walking to the pantry for a cup of tea before you do.
Back inside, both men remain unmoving, their gazes not faltering away from each other. Yoongi’s look of displeasure is a contrast to Jungkook’s somber, almost guilty face.
“Driving a wedge between us is kind of an asshole move, you know?” Yoongi finally says. “I don’t know what your deal is but this isn’t how you make it up to her. You don’t get to be nice one day then just decide you’ll be jealous and irrational the next without her even knowing what she did.”
“That’s… that’s not what I was trying to do,” Jungkook reasons.
“Then what were you trying to do?” Yoongi scoffs. “I was the one she turned down to have lunch with you. Actually, it was her plan, because she’s been spending so much time alone and she just wanted to hang out with a friend. And not only did you hinder that, you also made her feel like she did something wrong when all she said was that you had to talk about the Board meeting. No one would even bat an eye. Now she can’t even talk to me properly without fearing it’ll hurt your fragile ego.”
The truth is a huge slap on Jungkook’s face, and he feels it sting. He’s seen your comfort around his friend a few times. He also knows that Yoongi has been looking out for you when you fail to take care of yourself. And because of that jealousy and his fragile ego, you might just end up pushing Yoongi away, and isolating you is the last thing Jungkook wants to do.
He tries to say something but his throat dries up, knowing that verbalizing anything would prompt him to face feelings he’s trying so hard to suppress. He hopes Yoongi sees right through him, and the sullen look of the older man says he might.
“You’re not a bad person, Jungkook,” Yoongi says. “I don’t know what about her makes you like this. But if all you’ll do is find fault in everything she does, you’re gonna lose all the progress in your relationship. And you've got to know that’s not fair to her. You know she doesn’t deserve that.”
“She doesn’t.”
It’s the way Jungkook says the words that Yoongi knows his friend regrets what he’d done, perhaps not just yesterday but the other times as well. There’s this emptiness in Jungkook’s eyes that Yoongi hasn’t seen before; he doesn’t want the younger man to drown and lose himself in it.
“I’m… I’m, uh—”
“I know,” Yoongi interjects, knowing how hard it is for Jungkook to verbalize what he feels. “And I forgive you. I suggest you find the words and say them to her. Yeah?”
Jungkook merely nods, knowing that would be difficult for him, not because he won’t mean it but because they mean so much more. With you, it always does.
“I’ll head to meet with her now.”
“Please fix it,” Jungkook almost pleads. “I think she needs you.”
Yoongi gives a look of understanding then heads out to the conference room where he finds you seated already. The lights are dim, allowing him to see Lee Jaemin’s art pieces projected on the wall. You’re focused on your laptop screen, not budging even as he opens the door and sits next to you.
“Are you still mad at me?” Yoongi asks, urging you to look at him.
“No,” you say softly.
“Then why do you act like you still are?” He asks sullenly. “You know I’m sorry.”
“It isn’t your fault though,” you reply, finally turning to him, your own soft eyes mirroring his. “You shouldn’t be apologizing.”
“But I want to. Because I know it matters that you hear the words even if they’re not from the person who needs to be saying them.”
“You know he doesn’t do that,” you sigh, knowing exactly who he means.
“He’ll have to learn how to. Or just stop having a reason to apologize in the first place.”
“We’ll see about that,” you shrug. “But I’m sorry, too. I just didn’t know how to act yesterday and earlier. I just didn’t want any more drama.”
“I know, and it’s okay. It’s not your fault either. I had to call him out for it.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. I called him an asshole.”
“You–what?”
“Well, sort of. He had to hear it, and it seemed like he knew it, too. That's why he wanted me to fix things. Not that anything was broken, as far as I know.”
“Is that why he made me meet with you?”
“Yes, about something that he and I could easily do over coffee or a meal,” Yoongi chuckles. “But like I told you before - he tries. It’s usually just a misstep or something more complicated than actually saying sorry.”
“It’s hard for him to say, I guess. Maybe he just has his own ways of saying them.”
“It’s still not an excuse to be an asshole though.”
“At least you’re there to call him out for it,” you chuckle.
Yoongi laughs along, knowing it’s a role in Jungkook’s life that he wouldn’t mind taking. And just like that, the tension between the two of you is gone. He throws in a few jokes in there that take seconds for you to process, and it’s his crinkled smile that makes you smile and feel comfortable as well. It’s the icebreaker you need before getting to work, and it takes you both until lunchtime to decide on which of Lee Jaemin’s pieces you think would fit well in the event halls that Jungkook wants to put them in.
It’s a different experience for you, as you’ve never made decisions like this before. You wouldn’t say you’re artistic in any sense, but Yoongi’s approval of your choices and agreement with your reasoning make you feel that you aren’t as design-blind as you think. And while Jungkook has the final say - you’re not even sure if your choices would make the final cut - it’s still satisfying to see the empty spaces come to life on your screen with artworks that you chose with Yoongi, while still being within budget.
You both walk back to your work area where you see Manager Lee, and he tells you that Jungkook seems ready for tomorrow’s Board meeting. You enter his office with Yoongi, presenting what you’ve come up with - the greens and pinks common in her pieces give the room so much life, and the imperfections of her subjects leave viewers with much to admire. From the tropics to intimacy, the bright yet muted palette of the images elicits both joy and loneliness.
Jungkook goes through them while you and Yoongi look on.
“I’ll check each piece again later,” Jungkook says. “But these look good; I’d choose these myself.”
“___ chose most of them,” Yoongi says, earning him a glare from you.
“Is that so, Ms. Cho?” Jungkook asks.
“Mr. Min helped. And those pieces just spoke to me, I guess,” you answer shyly. “They’re beautiful pieces, Mr. Jeon. But I don’t have any arts or design background so please feel free to change them.”
“We’ll see,” he says, looking at you with a kind of affirmation that you’re not used to.
You nod in response and check the time. He’s got another meeting in an hour and he should be having lunch soon.
“What would you like to eat, Mr. Jeon? I can get it for you,” you say.
“No need. I asked Mr. Ri to get me something. I figured you might have lunch plans,” Jungkook responds, glancing at you and then Yoongi.
You look at the man next to you, who motions towards the door and you get what he means immediately.
“Okay, Mr. Jeon. I’ll go take my break now.”
You walk out with Yoongi who asks you what you’re craving, and sweet and sour pork comes to mind. He chuckles at your excited face, and you grab your purse and head out, turning back once to catch Jungkook watching you walk away.
Maybe this is his apology. In whatever form it is, you’ll take it. You find sometimes that the silence in place of words means a lot more, in ways that feel more.
The rest of your afternoon again feels like a blur, as you meet with the support team about the upcoming events and make sure everyone is on the same page. You spend an hour on the phone with Lucas about some Singapore and Malaysia-based Korean artists who are flying for the project launch in a few weeks while Jungkook goes from one virtual meeting to another.
It’s 5:30 before you know it, and you’re working on your spreadsheets when Jungkook walks out of his office, saying that he’s meeting with Lee Jaemin later in the evening and that he’ll just update you about the final pieces.
You acknowledge him and wish him goodbye, but he stops on the way, at the entrance towards the hallway, making sure he remains present while unable to see you.
“Ms. Cho,” he calls out, surprising you.
“Yes, Mr. Jeon?”
“About what I said yesterday, I apologize,” he says, almost stuttering. “Especially if it caused a rift between you and Yoongi. I didn’t intend that.”
You’re too shocked to say anything, much more process the words that you can’t believe he’s saying. But he really is apologizing; he really is trying.
“It… it’s okay, Mr. Jeon. I understand.”
There’s a beat of silence, and you’re left to observe him from this angle - jaws clenched, head bowed down.
He deeply exhales. “I’ll go now. No need to stay late; you can go home when you’re able.”
“Okay, sir. Have a good night.”
He finally leaves, and the silence engulfs you. Sometimes, words in any form truly matter. You could only hope that Jungkook knows that.
The suit that you choose for Jungkook for today’s big day is a dark gray textured piece. He looks immaculate as he stands before you, and you try your best to even your breathing as you fix his tie like you do every morning. There’s something about him today that makes him more handsome than usual - a quality that you’ve found yourself admitting and accepting more easily as the days go by. He exudes a certain kind of confidence and power with his attire and his parted hair. There’s determination in his eyes as he stands tall, ready to face the day.
And you’re there, admiring the way he carries himself just inches away.
You fix the collar of his suit and make sure that all creases are flattened. You meet his eyes and the confidence melts away a little.
“Do I look respectable enough?” He asks, a little less serious than you expected. It’s when you see the nervousness in his eyes that you know how important today is for him.
“Yes,” you assure him. “You also look ready to impress the Board members with your presentation and get them on your side. I’m sure your vision about the Arts Center will make them believers.”
“Ah, well, that’s asking for too much, I guess,” he laughs dryly. “But I was on the call with Lee Jaemin last night and she was so excited for the launch. It would get her to visit Seoul often, she said, and that made me realize that artists like her and the consumers, the ordinary people, the ones who the Center is for - they’re the ones who matter. It’s their interest and appreciation that I value, not the Board’s.”
“That’s a good realization to come to, then, Mr. Jeon,” you smile, suddenly feeling like you’re seeing a different man - someone who cares about meaning and the power of art. “I suppose if that’s your mindset coming into the meeting, then you’ll definitely do well.”
“I think if there’s at least one other person who ends up believing in the value of the Center, that would be enough for me,” he says, holding your gaze for a while before turning away. “But uh, today is more than that. You and I both know they’re there to assess my capabilities - social and otherwise - and definitely point out what I lack, or probably tell me I’m not cut out for this job or that I’m terrible or something. I mean, you would know, right?”
His eyes, focused downward, slowly shift to you. You know what he means, and given that he isn’t the type to admit to things, this is probably the only other time that he comes close to acknowledging how he was to you.
“Mr. Jeon, if you’re indeed terrible, I would have quit after a week. Or… well, after the second day,” you admit.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Well, I couldn’t afford to,” you chuckle to ease the tension. “But also I… I saw the change. And that’s always a good thing. Lacking something is normal. We all have things we need to work on but that doesn’t make us terrible people. That just means we need a bit of understanding from others. And that also means we just have to keep trying to be better.”
There’s a sullenness in Jungkook’s eyes but there’s acceptance and understanding, too. Perhaps it’s the most sincere you’ve seen him look, and of all the days that he needs assurance about how he’s been, today is when he needs it the most. Sure, there are still things about him that you wish he’d work on. He’s still not the best person in the world. He could still be a bit impulsive with you and can sometimes be irrational in your eyes and definitely needs work on dealing with his emotions. But he’s trying. That always counts for something.
“We do,” he nods.
“Your father believes in you. Hoseok believes in you, so does Yoongi.” Holding his gaze, you add, “so do I. So trust in yourself. If you can’t do it for you, you can do it for us.”
“Is giving pep talks part of the job description?”
“It should,” you giggle. “But I’ve given several of them to Mr. Jung. I’ve learned that during stressful moments or just when we’re a little overwhelmed, it makes a difference to hear the things we already know from someone else.”
“I’m a little stubborn, but I hope you continue doing that for me. For as long as you think I deserve it.”
Jungkook doesn’t know where the honesty and vulnerability are coming from. But he’s found that with you, it’s natural - difficult because they’re things he rarely is around other people, but natural. He doesn’t want to question it anymore for fear of learning what else is instinctive for him when it comes to you. But with the way his insides melt with how you sweetly and assuringly smile at him, he realizes that his defenses against you are not that strong to begin with.
“Well, we don’t have time to pass by a cafe for a nice breakfast so I asked Mr. Ri to get some instead,” you announce, changing the subject now.
You walk towards the dining room where he follows, and you present a spread of pastries, walnut tarts, and sausage rolls alongside a large cup of coffee.
“I don’t really eat before a big meeting,” he says, frowning a little. “I’m sure Lucas told you that.”
“He did, but I’m a little stubborn, too,” you counter. “Breakfast is important before a big meeting, Mr. Jeon. It’ll help you focus, even if that’s just one tart or half a danish or a quarter of a roll. Eating will improve your energy levels and lift your mood. It might help ease your nerves somehow.”
“Fine, but I’ll just have half a roll.”
“No worries. You can always eat some more throughout the day,” you say.
Jungkook ends up finishing the entire roll and a walnut tart, while you finish a danish and settle for tea. You pack up what’s left, and he instructs you to give the rest to the team.
The car ride is quiet, save for the gentle sound of his pencil gliding through the pages of his leather notebook. He seems to be channeling his energy in a way that allows him to be calm, you think, and that’s a good thing.
You arrive at the building and Jungkook goes straight to his office while you excuse yourself to go to the conference room to help the other assistants prepare it. You don’t see Jungkook until an hour later when he enters, and you lead him to his seat then serve his coffee afterwards. It gets busy quickly as the Board members arrive, and you help in ushering them to their seats and catering to their needs. Before you know it, the assistants are heading out, leaving them and the executives to discuss confidential matters that none of you are required to know.
It’s another two hours before the presentations start, but Jungkook won’t go until after lunch. So you settle in your desk and work on various things, unable to fully focus because your mind constantly goes to him.
This is normal, you convince yourself; you had the same nervous energy for Hoseok the first time he did this. But then again, it was your first time, too. Perhaps it’s knowing how much it means to Jungkook and his own worries that makes you feel uneasy.
You understand the feeling of wanting to prove oneself, and not always being able to fully express that desire to others. He’s been honest with you recently, and sometimes it can feel quite isolating when no one is there to share the burden, which is why you’ve been trying to cheer him up and encourage him, in hopes that he’ll feel supported, that whatever happens today, he knows he has you on his side.
You proceed to the function hall for the catered lunch where you meet Jungkook. He shares the table with Hoseok and Bitna, as well as Ji-woo and her assistant, and you engage in conversation with them like old times.
Jungkook watches you speak to his cousins casually but respectfully, and he doesn’t miss the inside jokes and personal details that you all share. You still look a little reserved, but there’s this comfort in the way you express yourself around people who trust and care for and respect you.
He’s always known Hoseok and Ji-woo to be great with the employees, and a part of Jungkook envies that they’re able to just share parts of themselves with others, that they’re able to expend their time and energy being around them, something that’s always been difficult for him. He likes his privacy, likes his own space; he revels in the silence to battle the noise in his head. He’s protective of his thoughts and his feelings; he’s particular with who uses his time and energy on; he keeps his distance because it’s always easier - to not be involved, to not be invested, to not be known at all rather than be judged because of what people know.
He also thinks it’s quite isolating. Outside of his family - whom he keeps his distance from as well - the only person who knows him enough is Lucas, but it’s as shallow as just knowing his preferences and his technical opinion on things, not his dreams or fears or everyday thoughts and emotions.
Jungkook isn’t someone that people go to for advice or for encouraging words; he’s not someone that people ask about how he’s doing; he’s not a person that others seek for comfort or warmth. He’s just a man who does his work, that people serve, that people want approval from for their own gains. He’s not someone they’d go through lengths for. He just takes up space that others orbit around but he’s not the center of their world; he isn’t anybody’s.
“Is everything okay, Mr. Jeon?” You disrupt his thoughts. “Is there anything you want?”
“Chocolate milk,” he says too quickly. “Uh, only if there is.”
“Hot?”
“Yes.”
You call the server and ask if they have any, but the man says they don’t, so you decide to head to one of the stalls at the food hall downstairs.
“You don’t have to,” Jungkook says, pulling your wrist in reflex as you stand up.
You’re caught off guard and so is he, and he immediately lets go and apologizes for it. The guilt in his eyes is similar to the one you saw at the restaurant when you’d admitted that he made you feel uncomfortable, and something about it makes you feel moved.
“I mean, uh, it’s okay. It’s not urgent,” he adds, looking away.
“If it’ll help, then I should get it for you, Mr. Jeon,” you insist. “It won’t take long. I’ll be back before lunch ends.”
You don’t wait for a response and head out, leaving Jungkook with curious looks from his cousins.
“So, I see you’ve warmed up to her already,” Ji-woo hums, smiling.
“You could say that,” Jungkook shrugs, acting nonchalant.
“Well, it’s about time you did,” Ji-woo shakes her head. “She works incredibly hard and she’s very reliable.” At the younger man’s nod in agreement, she adds, “you just had to give her a chance. There’s a reason why uncle and Hoseok wanted her around for you.”
“I guess,” Jungkook hums. “She’s… she’s a good person. I don’t really know if I deserve that but she is to me. She’s required to be, I suppose.”
“Or she sees you as a human being who needs a bit of warmth and joy in his life,” Ji-woo suggests. “Kindness goes a long way, you know? She’s said before that there are people who have extended it to her and maybe she’s just doing that, too.”
“Or maybe she sees something in you,” Hoseok says now.
“Like what?” Jungkook scoffs, knowing himself that after he’s treated you, there’s no way you’d see something in him, whatever that is.
“Like an emptiness, or yearning. Something she feels, too,” Hoseok responds. “Maybe she’s unknowingly making you feel something that she wants to feel herself, you know? I had A-yeong, my sister, my parents, my friends... Seeing her now with you, she didn’t pay attention to my every need the way she’s doing now, and that’s not a criticism of her. Perhaps she just knew that I had other people to do that.”
“And I’m the lonely, single, friendless man that she’s stuck with,” Jungkook laughs dryly, although he’s not offended. Deep down, he knows it’s true.
“Sort of,” Hoseok chuckles. “But what I really mean is that she knows what it’s like to not have someone to look after her like that. You may think it’s just her job but I think it’s her not wanting you to feel like there’s no one there for you. Maybe if you see it that way, you wouldn’t think you don’t deserve it. Then you can accept it and maybe you can do the same.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jungkook counters, given that keeping his distance is exactly what he plans to do because any closer would just lead him down a path that he won’t be able to escape from.
“It’s not that deep,” Ji-woo says. “I think what my brother is saying is that it’s okay to be friends, you know? Or just allow her to be nice to you and then return the favor. It’s a much better dynamic. I mean, I’m sure he’s told you but things are just gonna be more challenging down the road, once you’re past the adjusting phase. You’ll need her like you’ve never needed anyone before. I do mean that professionally, but that also requires a kind of relationship where you know and trust and respect each other. It goes both ways.”
Jungkook takes in his cousins’ words, knowing that they speak from experience, and they’ve been doing this longer than he has. He already knows he needs you. That itself terrifies him. He also knows he has to rely on you, and maybe that entails allowing you to care for him in ways that no one - not since Chaerin, at least - has ever done before. That means letting you come close, allowing you to know him, letting you be there for him. Doing the same for you isn’t a question of whether he wants to or not - he’ll probably be denying it to his grave, but it’s about whether he can remain within the boundaries he set for himself, knowing already how you affect him without even doing much.
The thought gives Jungkook a headache, but it’s not something he can give attention to right now. He’s got a presentation to do in less than an hour. He’ll be scrutinized and questioned and probably judged and then he realizes it again - he needs you through all that. He already knows you’ll be encouraging and supportive; you’ve shown that in the past week especially, and he’s appreciated and hated every single moment of it.
The hurried footsteps signal that you’re back, and you take your seat next to him.
You’re panting as you place the cup on the table. “Here you go, Mr. Jeon. I’m not sure if it’s as milky as you want it but the really good cafe downstairs said it should be good. Oh and uh, wrap your hands around it,” you instruct, earning you a curious look. “Your hands are very cold.”
Jungkook does as you say, feeling the warmth of the drink through his skin, even more when he takes a sip and finds that it tastes just as he wanted.
“This is good. Thank you,” he utters, not wanting to meet your eyes.
You exhale a sigh of relief. You know how he has particular tastes and you just went with a hot chocolate even if he specifically said he wanted chocolate milk. There’s a brand he likes from Lucas’ list and you didn’t have time to actually get it or even store the office pantry with it - which you realize now you should do, and you make a mental note of doing an inventory so you could request for more of the things he likes later on.
“You’re welcome,” you reply. “I… I hope it helps for the presentation. Or the nerves. Or just in general.”
“It has,” he confirms, humming with every sip.
Not long after, everyone is instructed to head back to the conference room so the meeting can resume. You take your seat with the other assistants at the side after you’ve ensured that the presentation is ready while Jungkook heads to the front. You watch him go through his notes a final time, and when he sets them aside and looks up, his eyes find yours.
They’re still tainted with worry, you can tell even from several feet away. So you give him a comforting smile, knowing it’s what he needs. You gently nod and give him a double thumbs up as if to say that he can do it, and he nods back, as if to say that he’ll do his best.
And that’s exactly what he does.
The presentation goes for a quarter of an hour, and while he does give a good rundown of the achievements of the past three months, it’s his pitch of the Arts Center that really makes him shine. The visuals are good to begin with. He did those blueprints himself and the designs give life to his vision, but he explains every aspect of the project with just enough detail to enable the audience to imagine how it looks and what it makes them feel. He took into consideration earlier worries about profits and brand reputation, as well as anticipated questions and points of attack, so he goes ahead and addresses them to the point that he can’t be scrutinized for anything that’s lacking. He keeps in mind the qualities of each Board member, so he makes eye contact if he needs to and acknowledges side comments and builds on them.
He’s definitely added more - and improved - since that first runthrough you did with him, and he looks very confident and very respectable. You can tell that he values not just profits but art itself - its creation, its appreciation, and the various ways it can be experienced. As someone who yearns for that kind of passion for something, seeing him like this is quite moving.
It doesn’t help that he looks as good as he does standing up there, and it’s a thought you let yourself have before dispelling it quickly.
He gets approving nods from most of the Board members. The rest still look a bit doubtful, but you suppose they wouldn’t directly criticize Jungkook and his plans in front of everyone after a presentation like that. You also take a peak at CEO Jeon who’s unable to hide how proud he is of his son. Hoseok and Ji-woo exchange smiles as well. But Jungkook remains focused, ready to answer any questions or comments from the Board.
Mr. Mun is the first to commend him and doesn’t ask much. Mr. Im surprisingly praises Jungkook after admitting his reservations, and Mr. Saito, as you expected, asks clarificatory questions that just builds on what was earlier presented. Jungkook’s readiness and creativity are highlighted as well, and you can tell that the older man is extremely excited for this project.
The hour is up before you know it, with only minimal questions and a few comments from the attendees. Ji-woo and Hoseok raise points to help with marketing and earning profit, and you take note of all those for discussion and debriefing next week.
Jungkook thanks everyone before returning to his seat, and you see the breath he lets out after, seemingly glad that that’s at least over. You catch his attention again, and you can’t help your smile. He acknowledges you with a nod, and he turns his focus towards Hoseok as the next presenter. The afternoon goes by like this, with Ji-woo going last and CEO Jeon closing out the meeting.
There’s some time before the fellowship dinner, which is spent with side conversations and check-ins. Mr. Saito goes to Jungkook right away and you see the latter’s face light up a little, although you don’t miss the sniffing and the throat clearing that he does. You think that his cold hands earlier weren’t due to his nervousness; perhaps the last month has finally caught up to him because you truly believe that this man does not rest.
You head out to return to your desk, knowing you’ve got several things to do before the dinner that assistants are invited to. You fly through your notes from earlier and some administrative tasks before heading back to the event hall where you find Jungkook talking to Mrs. Seo and Mr. Ong this time, two people who’d most likely be critical of him so you’re glad that he’s at least forging some relations, if their animated way of speaking is any indication.
You see him excuse himself to head to the washroom, and you take this time to order a cup of ginseng tea for him. It arrives just as he returns to his seat, and when it registers why you’d ordered it, he nods and mumbles his thanks.
“If I may, perhaps you shouldn’t stay long, Mr. Jeon,” you suggest. “It’s been a tiring week and you need to rest.”
Jungkook hates being told what to do, but he’s also never had someone tell him to rest because he needs it, much less even know that he’s not feeling alright.
“I need to engage with the Board,” he reasons. “I’m sure that’s what father would like. I can rest during the weekend.”
“Okay, sir,” you sigh, knowing he’s also right. Perhaps he’s accepted that this is a critical part of his new role as Vice President. “Just let me know if there’s anything more that I can help you with.”
“I will.”
You sit at the table where the other assistants are, engaging in hushed conversations as you talk about the Board members and how tired you all are. It’s nice being around them, as you all share the experience of stress and isolation, of knowing too much sometimes, of security and stagnancy. They know what you’re going through, partially at least - unlike you, they have people to go home to and proper hobbies that excite them. They have loved ones close by and things they look forward to during the weekends. So while they do make you feel understood, you also can’t help but be a bit jealous.
Your thoughts are suspended when Bitna offers to take you home. It’s well past 9 and you’re not keen on staying longer to drink with the rest of the big bosses here. You glance at Jungkook who has a wine in hand, clearly trying his best to keep up with the conversations he’s a part of. He looks incredibly tired - much more than usual - and you feel bad that this isn’t something you can help him with.
You take Bitna’s offer and you both head to your respective bosses to bid your goodbyes. Jungkook nods and mentions his meeting with the artist last night that he says he’ll discuss with you on Monday. There’s more you want to say, but you worry he’ll think you’re nagging about his health - which, you remind yourself, is also part of your job - and you don’t want to end the week on a sour note.
Jungkook watches you leave the event hall and he immediately feels your absence. Even when you spent much of your time apart, he could feel you there, partly because of the ginseng tea that you ordered for him twice at your insistence and partly because the knowledge that you’re around is enough. And now you aren’t, and he suddenly can’t stand any more of the socializing he has to do.
But he powers through it for another hour. When he bids his father goodbye, the older man commends him for his presentation earlier and the way he handled himself throughout the fellowship dinner. It’s assuring, but he knows there’s so much more work to be done so he doesn’t revel in it any longer than a few seconds.
The drive home is quiet. His soft groans as he massages his temples are the only sounds in the car. When he arrives at his empty penthouse, he grabs a bottle of whiskey from the counter and sits on the couch - a glass in hand, necktie and buttons undone, feet on the coffee table, and head rolled back as he reminds himself that he survived the day, that he did a good job, and that he changed some of the Board members’ minds about him.
And much as he tries to keep away the image of you, he’s unable to - there you were in the room, on his side, cheering him on. He didn’t miss the satisfied smile on your face once he finished his presentation, nor your look of worry after the ginseng tea was placed on the table.
You’re just good at that - making him feel like someone looks out for him, that someone else minds that he succeeds, that someone cares that he’s not well and that he should rest.
The smile on his face fades once he’s reminded that you’re supposed to do all that, and that he isn’t anyone special, nor should he be. It’s the thought that keeps him behind the lines - you’re unattainable in so many ways, yet he’s also glad that you are. It’s easier to be mindful of his place like that; it’s easier to accept that you’re you and he’s him, and it’s easier to do his job when he knows you’re just doing yours.
At least, that’s what he hopes.
But when he gets a call from reception the next morning about a package that you dropped off, all that wishful thinking seems pointless. And as he stares at the bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of him, all his thoughts from the night before come crashing down.
Why is everything so hard when it comes to you?
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— in which they slowly find themselves enamored by the natural charms of their interviewer
feat. itoshi rin, nagi seishiro, itoshi sae
cw + tw. nothing much just fluff, fem!reader, interviewer/reporter!reader, aged-up!characters, characters are professional athletes and continue playing in their teams from the neo egoist league (except sae)
notes. first time posting blue lock so apologies if anyone’s ooc, either way i might make a follow-up of this (that might be more uh ya know) and/or add characters
ITOSHI RIN
the sound that follows the harsh slam of his locker is a frustrating sigh that has been simmering in rin’s chest since the end of today’s match. the match in which he had lost—and at the hands of isagi’s team which makes the defeat all the more bitter and disgusting on his tongue. it didn’t help that during the game, he was butting heads with his supposed teammate, shidou. once the coach had decided to sub the eccentric player in, their styles began mixing like oil and water. as a result, their win was swooped up from under them.
pxg has been called to host a post-sport interview to review the match with reporters, but rin couldn’t care less to participate. instead, he’s the very last person to leave the locker rooms. his duffle bag is slung over his shoulder, steps ambling down the hallway.
whether he wins or loses, rin never bothers to attend these post-game interviews. he doesn’t need to sit there and have brash reporters shoot the same questions at him, expecting him to “thank his coach and teammates,” “praise his opponents for a great game today,” and say he’ll “continue to work hard to win next time.” gross. he’d rather be caught dead than have any of those words leave his mouth.
as rin navigates through the hallways of the stadium, he’s hoping to be done with the day and think over the turn of events on his own. but when he rounds the corner, he crosses eyes with someone so obviously lost in the facility—a mistake which punishes him as you immediately approach him with doe, bewildered eyes.
“sorry, i don’t mean to bother you, but i was wondering where the conference for pxg was being held,” you ask. a pad of notes are cradled in your arms, pen clipped to the breast pocket of your blazer. it’s clear you’re another reporter.
before he can point you in the right direction to get you out of his hair, you squint. you’re taking a long, hard look at him until your face suddenly glows. “wait, you’re itoshi rin, the striker for pxg!” you practically blurt. with the volume of your voice, rin’s instincts take hold, and he’s pulling you away from the open space of the hallway.
“quiet. you want everyone to hear?” rin chastises.
“whoops. i got a little excited! i-i’ve been wanting to interview pxg’s top player and well…” you could say the opportunity presented itself, but rin makes it clear he’s not interested.
“if you’re here just to hear me mope over my loss, then go home,” the striker affirms to what he thinks will be the last of this exchange until you tug on the sleeve of his jersey before he starts walking away. turning his head back to glance at you, his brow quirks.
“no, of course not! i thought it was incredible how you were able to keep control of the ball from your opponents and even score the first two points of the game all by yourself!” you exclaim, face lifting as it’s teeming with admiration. surprisingly, he can’t help but be a bit amused by the determined expression etched over the perplexed look that was originally on your features.
you swipe your pen hanging off your pocket, prompting it open with a click of your thumb. “and i’m sure a lot of your fans would love to hear from you!”
the athlete cocks his head. “you’re acting like a fan yourself, miss reporter.”
you blink in surprise. the enthusiasm in your words tones down, but you fail to mask it completely. “what? no, i’m just here to get the exclusive on the best athletes of our country!” if your plan is to butter him up to get a word out of him, it may almost work. you send him another fawning look as if to say “can you blame me though?” and that stirs a low chuckle from his throat.
his face lowers until it’s slightly more leveled with your own, and from this angle, you’re amazed to find you can distinguish every distinct eyelash on his pretty face. and you’re even more enamored by the intense color of his teal eyes. at the proximity, however, your face bathes in the heat of the blood rushing to your cheeks. thankfully, the striker breaks eye contact in favor of taking the notepad from your arms, along with your pen which he uses to scribble something down.
“tell you what,” he says as he continues writing, “come to the next pxg match and i’ll give you an exclusive interview, right after i score at least four goals and decimate the other team.”
his declaration leaves you in awe, and your fascination persists when he hands your pen and pad back for you to see a ten digit number, followed by call my manager written next to it.
NAGI SEISHIRO
back when he was in school, nagi was never great at first impressions. and apparently that’s still the case even later on in his career as a professional striker.
he doesn’t even notice you enter the room as he’s preoccupied with tapping the controls for the first person shooter on his phone. as such, he’s woefully unprepared to hear the reluctant, but soft voice that vies for his attention.
“um, excuse me. if you don’t mind, i’d like to get started with the interview.”
taking a slow glimpse above his screen, he sees the refreshing sight of you—his interviewer—sitting across from him in your neat attire and a clipboard on your lap. surprised by the modest smile that greets him, he automatically straightens up and casts his phone to the side.
it’s a big contrast to what he was expecting. usually, scruffy men who claim they’re adept and knowledgeable in the sport would be shoving their mics in his face. when in reality those people are just washed up high school coaches or analysts who act all high and mighty by asking a bunch of nonsense questions. saying this and that about how they would have done it differently had they been in the game instead of him. regardless, they’re such a pain and nagi would rather be napping in his cloud mattress than go through another talk session with those wannabes. however, his encounter with you just might break this boring streak.
he rubs the back of his head sheepishly, playing off the crass first impression. “right. start whenever you want.”
once he gives you the go ahead, you flip through a few pages to your questions.
as time goes on, the sentiment nagi initially held about how the interview might have been a pain and a waste of his time in his already packed schedule begins to sway. throughout the inquiries, he finds himself fixated on you. like the flattering nude color touched up on your plush lips. or how you have a habit of playing with strands of your hair when contemplating on what question to ask next. or the cute laugh you let out that was pleasant to his ears when he gave a much more aloof answer than you were expecting.
well, he can’t change the fact that he doesn’t need to think much when it comes to football. that’s just how naturally talented he is—the sport is second nature to him. honestly, he’s a bit bummed out that he can’t give a competent interviewer like you better responses.
what catches the snowy haired striker slightly off-guard is your next topic of questions about his e-sport endorsements. he wasn’t expecting you to delve into his hobbies. most interviews always glossed over that area in favor of asking something along the lines of “what was going through your head when you made that winning goal,” to which he could only say he was too caught up in the moment to really convey the feelings into words.
but with this opportunity, nagi goes on a mild tangent about the new first person shooter he’s been playing. even if his tone sounds indifferent on the surface, you don’t miss the hidden enthusiasm under the brighter twinkle of his eyes. you giggle which makes nagi pause.
“did i say something weird?” he asks back. you swear you detect a tonal whine in his voice, another endearing trait you didn’t know a 190 cm striker could possess.
“no.. just find it cute how much you can talk about your favorite games like that.”
nagi can’t tell whether the grin on your pretty lips is there to tease him or that you find his boyish charms endearing. either way, his cheeks puff and that only serves to make him more adorable in your eyes.
“well don’t let me stop you! i’d like to hear more about what things interest you other than soccer.” the look on your face fascinates him. you’re not even looking at your clipboard anymore, but right at him. it’s the tell-tale sign of someone who genuinely wants to know him not as the star player of manshine city, but just as regular nagi seishiro. he’s not used to that sort of treatment and as a result, he can’t meet your eyes, not realizing he flushes a lovely shade of pink that reaches the tips of his ears.
nagi pouts, glancing down at his phone that’s been laying near his thigh, untouched for a record of what must be ages, but that honestly doesn’t feel long enough to him. “no fair… you’re just teasing me…” he murmurs, but his fingers are already itching to ask his manager if he can extend the interview to spend more time with you.
ITOSHI SAE
the first opportunity you get to interview the itoshi sae is unconventional, to say the least.
“excuse me! please let me through–!”
“miss, you can’t be here– hey!”
the setting is chaotic, to the point where sae can make out the commotion in the background as he’s walking toward his rest area with his manager and bodyguard following beside him. when he glimpses at what all the fuss is about, he witnesses security personnel wrangle with a stray reporter.
spotting the reddish haired athlete, you find an opportunity to call out to him. “itoshi sae, please, may i have a word with you?”
to your dismay, security persistently blocks your view of the midfielder. despite being obstructed by a pair of burly men almost twice your size, you give them more of a struggle as you thrash around, even reprimanding them to “keep their hands to themselves if they know what’s good for them.” sae can’t help but be amused. a part of him finds your efforts admirable—watching you scrunch up your uniform and crease your notes at just a chance to speak with him.
“mister itoshi is far too busy to entertain any more of you today. please make your way to the exit–”
“it’s fine,” sae interjects to everyone’s surprise—mostly to the utter astonishment of you and his manager. the latter’s eyes widen scrupulously before he cups his hand next to the pro athlete’s ear.
“sir, i believe we’ll be running late to your next scheduled event if you decide to do a last minute interview,” the manager warns warily. “besides, haven’t you talked to enough of the media today? i mean look at her, she doesn’t even seem worth your time–”
“push everything back thirty minutes if you have to.”
his manager gawks. “but..?!”
one side-eye of sae’s piercing ocean eyes is enough for the man to retract his statement and mumble his apologies. that said and done, the security guards withdraw to let you through. you’re astonished by how much the situation can flip with the cooperation of a renown professional.
sae’s staff lead you into his spacious break room, preparing a set of chairs and leaving glasses of water on the coffee table before you start. having already taken his seat, he watches you run your hands through the wrinkled material of your blouse and pencil skirt. after finally fixing your stray hairs in place, you sit in front of him in all your pristine as if the whole conflict from earlier never happened. he wants to give you another point for professionalism.
“once again, thank you so much for granting me the opportunity to speak to you today,” you beam, mocking his manager hovering in the background with your unbeknownst-to-sae sly little smile.
sae grins, charmed. you arrange your notes one last time before moving onto your questions.
during the interview, sae comes to know your professionalism isn’t merely for show. you’ve done your research, analyzed his plays—his techniques, and as a result, ask him the most intriguing inquiries he’s sure no reporters asked him before. and he’s had his fair share of interviews throughout his developing career as a child prodigy. it’s evident you weren’t planning to waste his time and he’s appreciative of that fact.
there’s also an air of zeal you possess that allures him. he can’t exactly pinpoint what it is. your ingenuity? your liveliness? either way, he can’t imagine this to be his last interaction with you, and he makes sure that won’t be the case.
at just a simple snap of his finger, his manager is at his side. you have to hold in a snicker at how the man scurries over to the midfielder like a dog.
the two exchange a few words you don’t catch, only deciphering the dumbfounded look on the manager’s face which clashes with the stoic expression on sae’s. whatever the conversation was about, the former knows it’s a losing battle. at his loss, he pulls out a lanyard from the compartment attached to his clipboard. he gives it to sae, who takes it and leans across the space between you two to place it in your awaiting hands, as if you already knew from the manager’s defeated mannerisms that it was meant to be yours.
“this is..?” you begin inquiring as you eye the card on the lanyard methodically.
sae beats you to your discovery of that answer. “an exclusive press pass, which you can use to reach out to me again following any matches i’ve played in.”
mouth hanging open, you switch back and forth between the pass and sae’s marine eyes which don’t hold a shred of doubt.
he puts it simply.
“i’d like to continue this interview with you again.”
copyright 2023 shotoh, all rights reserved. i do not allow my creations to be published or translated anywhere else so please do not repost this or share my content on tiktok.
#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#bllk imagines#rin x reader#sae x reader#nagi x reader#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#rin fluff#rin itoshi x reader#blue lock x you#nagi fluff#sae fluff#blue lock headcanons#sae itoshi x reader#nagi seishiro x reader
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Maybe pt. 1
Pairing: Norm MacLean X Female Reader or OC (3rd person perspective because I dislike writing in 2nd )
Former friends to a relationship?
Life is pretty easy in Vault 33 until you're trying to rekindle a former friendship and raiders attack. Now, our main characters are trying to navigate newfound feelings all while undercovering the mysteries of Vault 33. Stay tuned. Follows the main storyline of season 1; some events may be reordered for plot.
I was feeling the lack of Fallout series fics and decided to contribute. Enjoy :)
Part 2 Here Part 7 Here
Part 3 Here Part 8 Here
Part 4 Here Part 9 Here
Part 5 Here Part 10 Here
Part 6 Here Part 11 Here
Another day, another performance review. And this one was going as well as the others; his dad will be pleased when he hears about this one.
Norm shifted uncomfortably in his chair as the proceeding council reviewed their notes. Betty Pearson. Woody Thomas. Reg McPhee. These people would decide if he stayed on this current “career” track of information maintenance or if he was to be demoted once again. Not that it mattered. He didn’t mind working; on the contrary, it gave it him something to do with his day, but every job was the same. Janitorial. Kitchen duty. All lacking purpose, significance, meaning. Yes, these daily tasks kept the Vault Dwellers in 33 alive, but they were anything but fulfilling. Was this all to life in the Vault?
Woody looks up from his paperwork and begins to speak, breaking Norm’s existential train of thought.
“Are you aware that, at every job you’ve been assigned to, your performance review has been “lacks enthusiasm?”
Norm smirks. “No, but that sounds accurate.”
Woody seems taken aback by the retort. They always are; no matter how many witty jabs Norm throws their way, it’s always a surprise for them. He guesses because no one else in the vault interacts this way. It’s out of the norm, unexpected, and breaks the conventions for how conversations are “supposed” to go in the vault. You’re supposed to follow the script, but that’s tedious and exhausting. Breaking it is much more entertaining.
The former Overseer, Betty Pearson, spoke up next. “We’re trying to work with you, Norm. Find your best fit, make you the best version of yourself. You’ve currently been working with Computers and Information maintenance. How do you like that?”
Another smirk. “I lack enthusiasm.”
Now, it’s Betty’s turn to react. Her neutral smile drops to a frown, and her eyes shift off Norm as she breathes out an “uh-huh.”She has to have realized it by now, right? She’s not a dumb woman, but she has to know these motivation tactics won’t work. Norm decides he’s going to have to spell it out.
“It’s a predicament, isn’t it? How do you demote someone who equally dislikes every job he’s ever worked?”
“I suppose it is.”
—---------------------------
He’s not entirely sure if the council let him off easy or if an additional chance at his performance review next week was their attempt at an act of torture. Either way, it doesn’t change anything; it just delays the inevitable. That thought carried him through his lunch break and distracted him from his to-do list for the morning. Another piece of evidence for that performance review, he thinks. Norm sighs and stretches his arms before he stands to make his way through the expanse of corridors down to the main cafeteria, where he gets into the lunch line. The vault dwellers move forward one by one, slow and orderly, until he’s at the front of a stack of metal trays. He picks up a tray that is cool to the touch and reaches up to the counter to grab the plate from the cafeteria staff. He doesn’t even have to look down to know what’s on his plate; he already knows. Every Monday the same. A helping of overly processed cram, alongside the assorted corn and vegetables grown in the vault and a table all to himself.
Norm grabs his usual seat and digs in, oblivious to the fact that someone has been awaiting his arrival. Distracted from thoughts of this morning, he doesn’t even hear her approach the opposite side of his table. Lost in thought, he doesn’t look up until he hears her clear her throat and ask if she can join him. When he finally does, he is surprised to see the face staring back at him. (Y/FN, LN). Their eyes meet, and she poses the question again.
“Mind if I join you?”
“Uhh, no. Not at all. Go ahead.” Norm gestures to the open seat. When was the last time he and (Y/N) shared lunch? It was so long ago. It had to be while they were still in school, before graduation. When they would enjoy their short period of freedom between history and math lessons together, maybe it's been longer. Those moments before adulthood felt like a different lifetime ago.
While Norm was ruminating on the past (Y/N) pops the tab on her can of purified drinking water and takes a short sip before saying, “I heard about your performance review.”
“Word travels quickly around here. I suppose you’re here to scold me?” Norm offers with a playful smile. The exchange feels familiar, even though it’s not one they’ve had in a while. Some part of him wishes that wasn’t the case, but it's easier this way.
“The opposite, actually.”
Now, he’s the one confused—what a rarity. His smile drops, and Norm is sure his confusion is written all over his face.
(Y/N) continues, not meeting his gaze. “I just wanted to say that, well, Norm, your defiance streak lately was kind of a wake-up call about how I’ve been feeling for so long, but I couldn’t place. I’m so tired of playing a character I’m not; life’s too short for that.” She looks up and laughs slightly, trying to lighten the mood. “ Look, I don’t want this to be that deep, but I wanted you to know that someone else feels the same way and has your back if you need it. We don’t have to suffer the toxic positivity of Vault 33 alone.” She doesn’t give him time to respond. Satisfied (Y/N) gathers her belongings and rises from the table, stopping before she turns away to shoot Norm a raised fist, a symbolic gesture of their supposed defiant solidarity, and a “See you around, okay?”
“Yeah, definitely.” He manages back as she walks away. Well, there goes any chance of completing today’s to-do list, Norm thinks as he lets his forehead fall to the table.
--------------------
“Okay, let’s run through my application remarks one more time. I only have a couple more days to prepare,” Lucy says, shuffling her notecards at the family dinner table, in between bites of her Salisbury steak. “Alright, give it to us again. Norm and I will get our notes ready,” Hank responds, winking toward Norm.
Norm is only half listening; he’s heard Lucy’s marriage appeal for the Triennial Trade a half-dozen times. And her remarks don’t matter anyway. One, she’s the Overseer’s daughter, and the council would be nuts to deny her application request, and even if that weren’t the case; two, she’s basically the poster child for being raised in Vault 33. Checks every box. Everyone knows this except for Lucy. It’s a trait he admires in his sister: her humility. But he’s genuinely happy for his sister. At least someone is getting the life they want.
While Norm was lost in thought for what felt like the millionth time today, Lucy and Hank had apparently finished their conversation regarding her remarks and since moved on to a different topic of dinner-time conversation. “So, I heard Norm had lunch with a girl today,” Lucy said playfully, emphasizing the word girl. Gaining Norm’s full attention as he shot daggers Lucy’s way. “There we go, Norm! Anyone I know?” Hank directed at Norm in a dad-joke-style attempt at humor. He’s the Overseer; of course, he knows her.
“Uh, yeah. It was (Y/N).”
“(Y/N). Lovely girl. Wasn’t she at the top of your class, Norm? Now, that would be a good match, especially since you two used to hang out so much as kids.”
“It’s not like that; we were just talking about work.”
“Uh-huh, “work.” Yeah, I get it,” Hank offers with another wink and a thumbs up. Earning an eye-roll from Norm and a chuckle from Lucy. “You forget that before I met your mother, I was quite an eligible bachelor in Vault 31.” “Please don’t,” Norm begged. “Fine, fine,” Hank resigned with his hands up, “but seriously, Norm, I haven’t seen that girl without a book in front of her face in a long time, and now, she’s chatting with you at lunch. That could be something.”
“Or it could be nothing; let’s drop this, please.”
Once Hank’s attention shifted from his children to the remainder of his meal, Norm leaned in slowly towards Lucy and whispered, “Oh, by the way, I will be getting you back for that.” Lucy turned her body towards him and simply stuck out her tongue. Battle flags were raised, pistols at dawn.
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Part forty-two of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.
Ao3 link.
Previous parts: twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty, forty-one
-
The Turks have arranged everything. Sort of. The charcoal burner's house is long abandoned and remote, not close to any main routes, so it would be private. In the books, both Sephiroth and Angeal are taking part in a classified mission with the Turks, which has been approved by both the Director of the SOLDIER program and the Acting Director of the Turks. It would take someone higher up in the Public Security Department to delve deeper than that, and since the President had already given his seal of approval, there's not much even Heidegger can do about it.
"And Rude is bringing everything we'll need to survive," Reno finishes. "Starting today, your priority is sorting out whatever is going on with you, free of distractions, external stressors and hopefully of further incidents."
Sephiroth still seems to be stuck on the getting his shit together part of the mission and apparently isn't sure whether to be insulted or not.
Angeal clears his throat. "And what are we supposed to… do, exactly?"
"Hell if I know," Reno shrugs and nods at Sephiroth. "Figure you'd sort it out by yourself, with your new spooky… whatever it is you got going on. You seem to have some idea."
"Uh," Sephiroth answers.
Eloquent.
Angeal runs a hand down his face. Then he laughs. "Okay, I have to admit. I'm impressed. I didn't really think you'd do anything, but - I'm impressed." And more than slightly intimidated by the connections and liberties the Turks have, but that's not exactly new. "How long do we have?"
"Until further notice, or until someone back in Midgar gets antsy," Reno shrugs. "I'm thinking maybe don't worry about time. If you need more, we will arrange some."
Huh. "This is really that important, then?"
Reno gives Sephiroth a look and then looks at Angeal. "Yeah," he says, a deceptively easy answer.
That's… somehow a little disconcerting. Certainly Sephiroth is invaluable to the program and to the company, but this… this is beyond VIP treatment.
"I see," Angeal murmurs and clears his throat.
Sephiroth finally shakes himself loose from his surprise, enough to look first somewhat sheepish - and then intrigued. "So, I can do whatever I want here?"
"Pretty much," Reno agrees, without any care for how alarming the question is. "And if you need something to further your whatever, we'll get it for you."
"Nice. And there will be no other missions if I don't want to do them right now?" Sephiroth asks.
"You can do them or not as you'd like - none of them have higher priority than this, and they can be delegated to other people, if it comes to that."
Sephiroth runs a hand over his chin. "And if I want access to some material that might be to some extent classified?"
Reno narrows his eyes. "Like what?"
"Haven't decided yet," Sephiroth answers flippantly. "But it might come up."
"... Great. We'll review case by case when we come to it," Reno mutters. "Though you know it's a bitch to get stuff shipped here, right? We're on another continent."
"Yes, yes, it's very impressive," Sephiroth says dismissively and thinks about something for a moment. Then he looks at the charcoal burner's house with a discerning eye. "And you'll be staying here too?" he then asks, glazing at Reno. "To watch us?"
Reno shrugs, unapologetic.
Sephiroth eyes him for a moment and then turns back to the house. "Very well. It will do."
"... Awesome," Reno says and motions. "Go, make yourselves comfortable or whatever. I'm going to walk the perimeter and set some traps."
"Mmhmm," Sephiroth answers, already striding back into the house with a proprietor's casual confidence, and Angeal can just imagine the furniture soon to be rearranged inside.
He hesitates before following and looks at Reno. "What is this really about? It's not just that Sephiroth lost control, is it?"
Reno considers him. "Well, duh, no," he says. "It's the stuff he's been saying in between."
And the abilities he seems to be on the verge of developing. "What's the official view on what's happening to Sephiroth?" What are they expecting from him?
"There isn't one," Reno says and arches his brows meaningfully, and then turns to go.
Angeal's face tightens, and he knows he probably doesn't understand the implications… but then maybe he does. All this effort and all the stuff that's been going on… whatever it is, the company is looking forward to benefiting from it greatly. And they want no one messing with what is happening before they do.
Angeal thinks of the moment Sephiroth communed with the old tree the day before, and for a moment he really wishes it was Genesis here with him instead. Genesis would actually know how to handle all of this. Angeal isn't even sure if he can ask Genesis about this, if he can talk to him about this!
Never mind the fact that Genesis probably has his hands full with whatever is happening back at Shinra Building… the aftermath of Sephiroth's incident and whatever Professor Hojo was doing…
Angeal turns to head inside.
… Where Sephiroth has begun poking around the house, and, of course, is already moving furniture around.
"I see you are all for this," Angeal comments.
"I'll take all the extra time I can get," Sephiroth mutters while carrying a little table to the middle of the main room. "Though I am not exactly happy about being under Turk supervision, I'll take it over the alternative."
Angeal hums, looking around and then deciding that Sephiroth probably doesn't need - or want - his help in decorating. "What's the alternative?"
Sephiroth grimaces and goes to move a bookshelf.
Okay then. Ominous. Angeal sighs and sets the Buster Sword down to lean against the wall near the door, right beside Masamune. "You know they expect something to come from this. For you to… to make it worth their while."
Sephiroth half laughs and half scoffs. "I just bet they do," he agrees and picks up somewhat dusty cushions and considers them with a frown.
Angeal folds his arms. "Are you going to?" he then asks, worried.
Sephiroth pauses and looks away, dropping the cushions by the table in the middle. "No," he says finally. "I don't imagine I will. Regardless," he shakes his head. "This is the next best thing to a full-on seclusion, and I am damn well going to make the most of it."
Angeal doesn't know what that means, but it doesn't matter. "Okay," he says and draws a breath. "Guess we'll… just stay here for the time being, then."
Sephiroth hums in agreement. "Guess so. Does it bother you?"
"No more than anything else around Wutai," Angeal admits and looks up at the ceiling. "We were already looking forward to a prolonged stay in someone's abandoned home. This place is honestly an improvement."
Sephiroth relaxes a little. "Yeah. And hey, the people here weren't chased out or killed by Shinra. That's something."
Angeal looks at him curiously. "How do you know that?"
"The original owner left a scrap piece of letter behind. Apparently they were invited to the capital," Sephiroth says.
… Sephiroth reads the Wutai language? Huh. Angeal didn't know that.
"I guess that's good to know," he says and then sighs. "Okay, so. This… thing you're doing. Your energy alignment stuff. Is there anything I can do to help? What do you need?"
Sephiroth hesitates between moving some jars around and looks at him. "I need a proper cleared training area," he says and offers him a wry smile. "At least as big as the training room back at Shinra Building."
"I can do that, yeah," Angeal says. "Anything else?"
Sephiroth thinks about it for a moment before setting the jars back down. "I'll let you know."
Angeal nods and gets to it. There's not much he can do when Sephiroth refuses to trust him, but… he'd do what he could.
Hopefully by the end of it, it would be enough.
-
Time for a training montage.
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Unexpected Meetings
summary: You meet someone in a boba shop and hit it off.
pairing: Corpse Husband x Gender Neutral Reader
category: Gen
word count: 939
warnings: none
a/n: people still like Corpse, right?
"God I love Boba," you say quietly to yourself as you deftly and expertly push the straw from its sheath and professionally stab it into the cup. You take a long sip and sigh in contentment, eyes closing as you enjoy the taste. "Yup. Just as good as the reviews said."
You sit in the little boba shop, sipping your drink and enjoying the warm spring air in San Diego. It wasn't too hot, and while you've never been to San Diego before, you're so glad that it hasn't been as hot as people said it could get.
While this particular shop had good reviews, it's very very quiet today, barely anyone having come in during your rest in the shop.
The small bell above the door rings and one of the employees comes out from the back of the shop. You're sipping your boba as you notice a very, very pretty guy wearing a black face mask, an eye patch, and more alternative and, you might even say, emo, clothing walks in. His very curly hair is hanging over the top of his face and even though most of his face is obscured, you know he's insanely attractive already. Just your type. The music is playing a little too loud to hear him order but you keep your eyes on him as you do, admiring all the little details of hus outfit. When he turns back around, and chuckles as you see the hoodie he's wearing.
"I like your hoodie!" You shout over the slightly too loud music, leaning towards the guy so he can hopefully hear you. Evidently he does because turns and gives you a nod. You think he may have even thanked you but you didn't hear anything. "It's Corpse Husband, right?"
The man freezes in place and you frown slightly but try not to show any concern or anything. Maybe he's just not used to people talking to him. You get it.
"Uh, what?" the guy asks, louder this time so you can hear him. His voice is incredibly low, bass-y, so you now understand why you couldn't hear him over the music before. Longer waves means more time to travel means harder to hear.
You point to his hoodie. "It's a Corpse Husband hoodie, right?"
He looks down and grabs one of the ties that's dangling from the bottom of the hood. "Uh, yeah, yeah it is," he says. You grin at him before taking another sip of your drink. "You uh, you know him?"
The man steps closer to you to talk, presumably so you can hear him better over the music. You shrug. "I watched him during the pandemic, yaknow when there was nothing to watch but content creators, but I haven't in a while. I have a friend who's kinda… obsessed with him? But honestly, whatever works for her," you say with a slight laugh. "You kinda sound like him, yaknow? You probably do, you have the hoodie. Unless it's a partner's that you took it from?" You pause before realizing you just couldn't keep your mouth shut and you quickly backtrack, saying, "Sorry, sorry I keep talking, you don't have to answer any of my questions."
You chuckle nervously and scratch the back of your head, looking away as you sip your drink. You're so nervous because of how attractive he is you can hardly think.
You look back at him, seeing that he's still just staring at you, but before he can say anything, you see the employee holding the man's drink and you point behind him. "Uh, I think your drink's ready," you say, awkwardly.
He turns around and graciously accepts the drink. You smile at him when he turns around and raise your hand to give him a wave, expecting him to leave the shop, but instead he sits back down as the employee goes into the back once more.
"This is my hoodie," he answers, and you stare at him wide eyed, before grinning.
The two of you chat for a few minutes, finding an easy rhythm even with your anxiety at talking to such an attractive guy. Eventually though, he says he has to go.
"I was actually supposed to be home like, 15 minutes ago…" he trails off.
Your eyes go wide and you smile brightly. "Oh! Well I don't want to keep you any longer then!"
You see his one uncovered eye crinkle and you assume he's smiling underneath his mask as he says, "I-I enjoyed… talking to you, today."
Your smile turns warm. "I enjoyed it too. Maybe…"
You trail off and the man leans in a little and asks, "Yes?"
"Maybe-maybe we could, do it again? Sometime?" you ask, nervousness making your voice stutter.
The man nods. "Yeah-yeah I'd-I'd like that," he replies, seemingly just as nervous.
The two of you stare at one another for a time, before you exclaim, "Oh!" and pull out your phone which you finally remember owning, and open it up to the contacts, handing it over for him to input his name and number. "Uh, for next time," you say, feeling your cheeks heat in anxiety and self consciousness.
He quickly puts his number in and sets your phone on the table in front of you before giving a quick, "Text me, okay?" and he scurries out of the boba shop.
You nod at his retreating form and grab your phone, and when you look down at the contact, you almost choke on your own saliva.
"Corpse Husband 🖤"
"Holy shit," you mutter to yourself as you take a disbelieving sip of your boba.
#corpse husband#corpse husband x reader#corpse husband x you#corpse husband x y/n#reader insert#gender neutral reader#no pronouns are used#my work#my writing
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(tws ahead: discussion of food, diets and diet culture, eating disorders, calorie counts, and fatphobia in the context of pregnancy)
Truly one of the most bizarre things about being pregnant has been the official advice around food. Food and eating is difficult enough already when you're pregnant - there's excellent scientific evidence that it's advisable to moderate your caffeine intake and avoid alcohol, and an entire laundry list of stuff you're supposed to avoid for food safety/food poisoning risk reasons. (I am a nerd and I read the last scientific review of the linked advice from the NZ Ministry of Health, so I can say with confidence it's also pretty well supported.) Personally, I am largely indifferent to going without alcohol, but after half a year or so my brie cravings are getting pretty intense. That's going to be even tougher for people with food restriction issues. And then there's the potential nutrient deficiencies that come when a baby is sucking up all your available iron, calcium, etcetera.
But on top of all this...a couple of things are also true:
later pregnancy and breastfeeding require a higher calorie intake because you're, uh, feeding an entire baby with your body and those calories have to come from somewhere
healthy pregnancy also requires weight gain because of the aforementioned 'growing an entire person' thing
Western Anglophone society absolutely loses its goddamn mind at the thought of telling women (and other pregnant people, but they are clearly not thinking that far) that it's okay for them to eat more than normal, let alone gain weight
So there's reams and reams of official advice which has like one line saying "maybe don't diet when you're pregnant" quickly followed by "but it's OK! you can diet afterwards! you'll lose lots of weight when you breastfeed!" and then like. eight paragraphs on how while technically, they suppose you need some extra calories during some of your pregnancy, it is DEEPLY IMPORTANT that those calories only come from the most healthy and boring possible foods, because otherwise you might gain too much weight which is the worst possible thing that could happen. Try carrot sticks! Fat-free yoghurt! Dry toast! I have literally seen advice suggesting the extra calories you need can be gained from a "small snack". Maybe an apple. (Most of the estimates I've seen about extra calorie needs in later pregnancy are in the range of 3-400 extra calories a day. That apple would have to be the size of your head.)
This is all followed up with dire warnings about gestational diabetes, which is lurking in the wings waiting for any pregnant person who dares use it as justification for eating that extra biscuit. There is clearly a really deep-seated belief at play that if you give them - us - an excuse to eat more we will gorge ourselves on, IDK, chips and ice cream, because the only thing holding us back from obesity is the constant reminder that gaining weight is BAD and that eating too much food is BAD (even though the reality is that weight gain and higher caloric needs are part of a healthy pregnancy). This reality has to be held at arms' length and hemmed in with restrictions and cautions lest all hell break loose. You are very literally advised to calculate your BMI, weigh yourself regularly, and have a target weight gain - i.e. implicitly to restrict your food intake if your weight gain is higher - which I'm sure is just chill and fabulous for people with a history or present of eating disorders.
(The cherry on top of this is that it's normal for pregnant people to have suppressed appetites in late pregnancy despite needing more food because, again, there is an entire baby in there squashing their organs. Add in all those foods that you can't eat, and it can actually be somewhat challenging to eat enough.)
The bit that haunts me is that we know that caloric restriction during pregnancy makes children more likely to have higher weights later on, and you know who is most targeted with this diet-but-don't-diet-but-actually-kinda-do rhetoric? Fat people, who are advised to gain at absolute most about the weight of a healthy full-term baby + amniotic fluid/placenta/etc - and that it's fine if they gain much less weight than that, barely more than the weight of a healthy baby, which would actually equate to total weight loss. During pregnancy. It feels like there could be a lot of self-fulfilling prophecy going on here vis a vis fat parents having fat kids. which is now sometimes characterised as a form of child abuse. FUN.
Anyway, I am sure I'm not the only person to have made these observations (and if you know good writing on this topic I'd love to be linked to it, because I'm way too chicken to try Googling) but man. As I said at the start: the level at which fatphobia and diet culture are institutionalised during pregnancy, to the detriment of actual health, is wild.
(For my money, sane advice would be 'healthy eating advice is the same during pregnancy as it is other times except for the specific foods you should avoid because of increased food poisoning risk, and you need to eat a bit more in later pregnancy. The end.')
#fwiw my midwife has never even asked to weigh me#and she only asks about food in the context of 'are you having any digestive issues' and monitoring of things like iron and B vitamins#so that's cool and good but oh boy#I wish I didn't feel grateful this was the case
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chapter 142 thoughts!
HEADS UP: In this review I discuss fictional depictions of sibling incest as well as a brief reference to both fictional and a real life suicide. As usual, feel free to skip if you're not in the right zone and I'll see you next time.
thank you for the kind words from everyone when i was still in the Slime Era of feeling sick lol. i'm like 80% back to full power now!
I'm gonna be totally up front and say I really think this is one of the worst chapters we've gotten in a while but here's the twist: it's not for the reasons you probably think!
We're following up basically right off the back of last chapter and immediately I am kind of mad at how shitty the series is continuing to do Miyako with regards to the movie arc. She was a total non-factor in the RBKN conflict and now that Aqua and Ruby are being pressured into doing something they have both verbalized that they don't want to do she's just like well gosh i feel complicated but what can i do :(. Having the setup almost 20 full chapters ago of Miyako expressing that she wants to step up and do more for Aqua and Ruby as their mother and then having her completely failing to intervene on their behalf here is just wild.
In general, the way everything is being set up to force this kiss feels so… well, forced. Even if Kaburagi (as the story says) insisted there be a kiss scene, there are a million ways to fake a kiss that doesn't involve actors actually kissing. Body doubles! Camera angles! Putting your thumbs in the way! Unless Kaburagi said "I want 20 full seconds of Kamiki sticking his tongue down Ai's throat center frame", there is absolutely no reason "a kiss scene" needs to mean "these two blood related twin sibling actors actually kiss". The whole thing is just so incredibly contrived.
And honestly? The fact that both Ruby and Aqua have expressed a 'no' and are being forced to do this anyway is the part of this chapter making me the most actively insane. It is absolutely mind boggling to have spent half of last chapter on a Miyako monologue about how immoral and unethical it is when people's ability to give informed and sincere consent is compromised by the entertainment industry and to then follow it with a whole chapter of basically every character we're supposed to like flaunting a total lack of respect for Aqua's comfort and consent in this regard, up to and including the completely insane scene of two adult women lecturing Aqua about how he isn't allowed to have boundaries. What the fuck is going on here!!!
This is especially frustrating because I actually really like a lot of things about the scene with Yoriko and Abiko… even if there's some stuff that really kind of broke me lol. Like uh, wasn't it a really huge plot point in Tokyo Blade that a mangaka couldn't be expected to turn out an entertaining theater script because those are two entirely different kinds of storytelling…??? But whatever.
Off the bat, I have really mixed-leaning-negative feelings about the reveal that the KamiAi romance scenes we'd gotten were entirely fictional. On the one hand, I actually feel pretty validated - I had guessed that the full-immersion-flashback presentation was a hint that we were being presented with a falsehood and it implicitly confirms something I've been saying from the start that 15 Year Lie's version of events has to be taken with a grain of salt, both because it contradicts known events and facts and because so many other people have interfered with it. Having that made textual and being able to confidently say it helps a lot in discussing what this means for the story.
But like… that means we wasted a whole bunch of time on shit that was made up and didn't matter! Like, thematically speaking, I think this is potentially interesting but I just keep getting stuck on the fact that we were given a super interesting scene finally fleshing out and giving us info about both a character and a relationship we've been absolutely starved for details about, only for the story to turn around not two chapters later and go "and my source? i made it the fuck up". It just totally dashes all the enthusiasm I was feeling and it also makes it way less rewarding to try and dig into what 15YL is doing when at any time, all of this potentially interesting character work could be revealed to be total piss in the wind.
Stepping back from that… in total isolation from everything else, I do think this talk with Abiko and Yoriko about what it means to write stories is interesting from a lot of angles. While I don't think these two are the 1-to-1 author avatars for Aka and Mengo fandom treats them as, they nevertheless clearly serve as reflections of the two's experiences and viewpoints about the manga industry and specific and the art of storytelling in general, allowing the story to play around in the quasi-metafictional space it does sometimes, where it uses in-universe fiction as a method of commenting on itself.
In that sense, I think Yoriko can be understood as speaking for Akasaka here and discussing some of his feelings as a storyteller of Oshi no Ko specifically. OnK has never made a secret of the fact that it's drawing on Akasaka's real experiences in the entertainment industry but perhaps less obvious to overseas fans is the inspiration it takes from real life issues in contemporary Japanese pop culture, too. Infamously, Akane's arc very transparent drew inspiration - if it wasn't reconstructed entirely - from the suicide of Hana Kimura, not even six full months after Kimura's death. When the anime aired, Kimura's surviving mother (imo, rightfully and deservedly) lambasted the series for using her daughter's death as the fodder for entertainment without consulting her surviving family. It wasn't even that she disagreed with what the series was saying - she just wanted someone to have some consideration.
This is what Yoriko means when she talks about the responsibility a writer has to their stories. When you write a piece of fiction as highly visible as Oshi no Ko currently is, it is your responsibility to consider the impact your words will have on the world. No, fiction does not directly impact the real world in a physical, tangible way but if we are careless with our stories, we can regurgitate and perpetuate dominant cultural narratives that very much do cause real, tangible harm to marginalized people. Hikaru Kamiki isn't a real person, but there are undoubtedly people in OnK's readerbase who see their experiences mirrored in him. Airi Himekawa isn't real, but people like her exist. Akane Kurokawa isn't real but Hana Kimura was.
This discussion also serves as an interesting warning to Aqua himself, though maybe not quite in the sense Yoriko intended. Aqua's revenge has always been something treated, in-universe, as a sort of fiction in of itself; Aqua calls it his 'revenge play' and his primary method of pursuing it is to become an actor. It's a retribution narrative about real people and Aqua is its author. But as Yoriko reminds him… stories can kill. Especially ones featuring real people. Aqua has been telling himself a comfortable lie for years that only he will be hurt by his own inevitable self destruction but Yoriko reminds him that he isn't the only person involved here and that he is inevitably going to cause great pain to the people he loves if her continues down this path.
That's why this chapter is so frustrating. This is all good, meaty character work with some great thematic overtones… and it's all in service of contriving this scenario where Aqua has no choice but to tongue his sister on camera and for some reason, nobody is pointing out the million and one alternatives to this deranged scenario.
But anyway. Enough beating around the bush: let's talk about That Scene. And despite what everything I've said this post might lead you to believe… I actually really like it.
I don't know exactly what activated to make her go sicko mode but Mengo has been really on fucking fire with her art on the series lately. It really jumped out to me in 137 but she's honestly been cooking since the very start of the movie arc. It stands out especially strongly in Aqua and Ruby's talk on the balcony in ways I really vibed with. The whole scene feels like Ruby's shoujo brainrot and the cold reality of what she's tiptoeing around suggesting to Aqua are battling out for dominance over the framing. Ruby's stubbornness is such a force to be reckoned with that it almost wins entirely but there are moments where the lens cracks and we see things as they are. Aqua's discomfort practically radiates off the page this entire conversation.
Not only that but… jesus christ, Ruby. Just look at how she's framed when she first enters the scene.
That oppressive silhouette, her shaded eyes and that sinister smile… I probably don't need to tell you that's NOT how you typically frame a romantic heroine. She honestly almost looks more like a villain.
But Ruby quickly reasserts control over the framing. Or rather, what she's suggesting is such a sugary shoujo fantasy, the framing has no other option but to comply. At last, Ruby steps out of the shallow channel of plausible deniability and puts into concrete words what she has been thinking and longing for these last twenty chapters: for her to retake her role as Sarina Tendoji and for Aqua, in turn, to play Gorou for her once again. More than that - she pushes him for a concrete response to her love at last, not as Ruby but as Sarina; not only does the paneling repeatedly cover the eye with her star but in the final panel where she unambiguously propositions Aqua, the star is completely gone. This is what Ruby is offering: to completely sever her connection to Ai and the new life she has built on that foundation and to return to being Sarina, if that is what the doctor she loves wants.
This is SUCH an incredibly effective scene. It's excellently done and the art is fantastic. It finally draws out and makes explicit the underlying disconcerting subtext that has been swimming under the twins' relationship since 123. It works fantastically well… in isolation. But when taken into the context of the rest of the story it just feels so… unearned.
For the last 20 chapters, we have had absolutely no serious insight into Ruby's feelings re: the reveal of Gorou's new identity as Aqua. We didn't see her grapple with it or have to adjust to it at all. It was like a switch flipped in her brain and she was suddenly a 2010s fanservice imouto splooging about her oniichan. Her interiority in this regard is completely absent. Whenever the subject is addressed at all, it is made into a joke with Ruby as the punchline. There has been no serious build up to this moment or any meaningful time spent on Ruby's feelings about Aqua and as such, being asked to take it seriously now feels so incredibly jarring.
I've said this over and over in other places but I'll make this clear here: the handling of Ruby's feelings is not bad because Incest Is Morally Bad or whatever. At the end of the day, OnK is fiction and fiction is a space that allows us to explore ideas and scenarios that would be unpleasant, dangerous or even downright immoral to try and interrogate in real life with real people. Not only that, but AQRB's situation is so far removed from anything any real person could experience there's very little risk of it acting as a harmful reflection of a real person's life. But because OnK had the space to do just about anything with this idea, I'm so incredibly baffled that it chose to do all of nothing. This is a plot point that has been cooking since the literal first chapter of the entire series and now, just under four years and over 140 chapters past our starting point… and this is the best Akasaka can do? Dated brocon humor that reduces Ruby to a shallow gag character, denying her the opportunity to have deeper, more complex and ugly feelings and denying her the respect of examining those feelings with honesty?
It sucks. This whole thing really sucks. As someone who loves Ruby so, so much… this really just feels like an insulting way to have handled what should have been one of the most interesting and engaging parts of her series long arc.
I do think this chapter is the beginning of the end of AquRuby's time in the endgame couple race, if it was ever seriously in the running to begin with. Ruby embracing Aqua with a proposition in those final two panels echoes Akane doing the same in chapter 72 and the fact that this cliffhanger ends on the proposition and not a kiss implies to me, structurally speaking, that we are heading for a rejection. On top of that, we're pretty far away from the manga's ending still and Kana's romantic resolution with Aqua hasn't gotten its time to shine. All those factors together makes me feel pretty certain that this is the final nail in the coffin and we're just waiting to see how Aka sticks the landing.
After all - Ruby is asking for his response as Sarina. And if this is Sarina asking for his love one last time… we already know how Gorou's going to respond.
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Friend Of A Friend
Santiago Garcia x Young Reader
Summary: being tess's best friend has its ups and downs but the best one being her dad's best friend
Warning: reader is 20, wall sex
Yn/3rd person pov
I smiled widely as I climbed into the car greeting them as I got in "long time no see yn" Santiago grinned as he turned to me I bite my lip blushing slightly "yea it has" I murmured.
He glanced at tess to make sure she wasn't looking before winking at me making my cheeks redder before he turned back to the front.
"Tess, yn Santiago here is picking you up from shopping ok I have a meeting so I won't be home intill late" Tom said looking at us through the review mirror "he just needs to remember that and not forget us for a girl" tess teased making them laugh.
I just grinned slightly when tess turned to me but I was kinda jealous I've always had a crush on Santiago since I was 16 I mean who wouldn't and there's been many times when I was around and the guys were to making fun of him about his hot informants.
He's always been kind to me and since my 18th birthday we've gotten a little closer when we're alone but nothing more then light touches, little flirts and playful winks, he never seems to cease to make me blush.
"Haha very funny there is none of that anymore" he chuckled making tess lean forward looking at him with wide eyes "has thee santiago gracia the player finally found the one" she squealed my heart stopped and my eyes fluttered.
He shook his head still laughing "honestly I want to but I don't think she feels the same" he murmured my hands wavered as I grabbed his seat leaning forward to see him "how did you meet her" I asked thankfully the hurt I felt didn't show in my voice.
"Uh" he paused thinking glancing to the side of him out the window "she's a friend of a friend" he grinned tess started guessing names of his informants as I bit the inside of my cheek and sat back against my seat.
We turned into the mall parking lot tess's rambling calming down as we neared the entrance "have a fun time girls" santiago laughed as we said our goodbyes I just nodded acknowledging him as I got out joining tess on the pavement she waved her dad goodbye and watched as they drove away "what shop to first".
-Time skip
I was browsing the different merch sections in hot topic waiting for tess has she tried stuff on through the corner of my eye I noticed one of the male employees watching me and following me into each row a few minutes I move.
"Can I help you with something" I asked ironic its supposed to be the other way around, I crossed my arms over my chest as I turned to him, he looked like a deer in headlights "i-i" he rubbed the buck of his neck nervously.
"I came to ask for you number" I cringed as he snuffled through his nose the sound almost making me gag "I have a boyfriend" I lied turning back to the shelf of items but he stepped towards me making me taking a step back.
"He wouldn't have to know" he spoke seductively it made me sick "no thank you" I huffed trying to leave but he caught my wrist pulling me to him he sweat smell making nose crinkle "let me go" I muttered.
What the two didn't notice was that tess was done with trying things on and saw the whole thing "hey santiago we need your help" that was all she had to say to make him speed his way over.
"I said no" I growled trying to pull my way out his hold but his grip only tightened making me gasp in pain "hey dick head" the man holding me turned his head only to get punched in the cheek by a red faced Santiago.
I stumbled to the ground as the employee released me "hey you ok" tess whispered as she feel to her knees beside me but my eyes never left santiago as he beat the creep up "i-uh" I couldn't find the words my heart was beating in my ears and my breath was shallow.
Santiago was stopped by security but released as they went over the footage and took the employee instead "come on girls" he panted urging us out and walked behind us silently "total guard dog effect" tess whispered leaning over to me but I didn't answer my eyes trained to the ground.
"Let's get you guys home" he muttered unlocking the car I took a seat in the back and just went on my phone only answering when they spoke to me directly.
"I'll see you Monday yn" my head snapped to tess who was out the car I didn't even realize we were at her house or that she was getting dropped off first, "come up front yn" he smiled turning to me, I hesitated before nodding and climbed out to get into the passengers seat.
He pulled out the driveway and headed down the street "how are you feeling" he asked briefly turning to me as we slowly pulled to a stop "i-i'll be ok" I murmured looking down to my wrist that was reddening slightly, santiago gently grabbed it and pulled it to his face laying a gentle kiss on it.
"I'm sorry I couldn't get there sooner" he said slowly lacing his fingers into mine, my cheeks became red as a tomato as I looked at our intertwined hands "I should've gone with you guys" he said slowly bringing our intertwined hands the the middle console leaning onto it as he went back to driving as the light turned green.
"I should've killed him" he muttered but I squeezed his hands lightly making him release a breath "I'm sorry" he whispered "it wasn't your fault" I said looking ahead at the road infront of us "he needed to learn some manners" he laughed at my statement and immediately agreed "yeah he can't mess with my girl" santiagos laughed ceased as those words left his lips.
My eyes immediately snapped to his "w-what" I asked my heart beat slowly increasing "i-i didn't say anything" he stuttered a wide smile pasted on my lips something I knew about santiago is he would somewhat stutter when he's trying to cover his tracks or nervous "you called me your girl" I murmured my smiled still widening.
He sighed slowly laughing to himself "yea" he paused "I guess I did" I squealed internally and shifted excitedly but sadness took over as we turned into my street "so am I a friend of a friend" I murmured "yes you are" his words made a shiver run down my spine, he slowed the car down turning into my driveway "are your parents home" he asked leaning onto the steering wheel looking at my house.
"No their away for the weekend" I murmured making him smile "mind if I come inside" he grinned towards me making me clench my thighs as I felt myself dampen I nodded eagerly unbuckling myself quickly and he did the same, he followed me inside and as soon as he kicked the door close his lips were on mine and his hands were feeling up and down my sides.
"I've been wanting you for so long" I moaned against his lips as my fingers entangled themselves in his hair "I know you have" he murmured making me lightly tug at his hair, his hands tugged off our clothes before be pressed me up against the wall "I need you now" he groaned pulling away from my lips.
One of his hands felt up and down my slit making my eyes flutter and a pleasured gasp leave my lips "shit your already dripping" he smirked and slowly moved his dick up against me, he slid it up and down my slit collecting my wetness on him "fuck" he groaned and slowly pushed in his hands moving to cage me in by settling beside my head.
My hands tugged at his hair again and a struggled moan left my lips his cock was stretching me out so much "that's it, that's a good girl" he growled and slowly started to pull out and push back in, he watched my face intently only increasing the pace when he sees my eyes flutter in pleasure or hear my soft whines.
"So fucking good mi amor" he whispered leaning down to my neck pressing his lips to my skin sucking harshly "s-shit" I cursed my knees buckling he swiftly caught me and put his hands under my thighs and lifted me up his thrusts never ceasing.
My moans were fueling his desire more, he nibbled and nipped at my skin making my breath catch in my throat, my eyes rolled to the back of my head as I leaned it up against the wall, I felt a knot form in my stomach and santiagos cock start to pulse "cum with me mi amor" he groaned licking a long strip along the hickies he littered on my neck, I nodded eagerly.
His grunts and groans grow louder as his hard thrust slightly fultered, our sounds of pleasure mixed together as we cam "fuck" I cried and santiago just growled lowly into my ear as he filled me up his nails digging into my skin, my hands dropped from his hair and I leaned my head onto his shoulder panting.
"Don't think we're done yet baby girl, you still have to make up for the times you've made me so fucking hard"
#movie characters x reader#triple frontier#triple frontier x reader#triple frontier smut#triple frontier x reader smut#triple frontier santiago gracia#santiago gracia#santiago gracia x reader#santiago gracia smut#santiago gracia x reader smut#oscar isaac x reader smut#oscar isaac x reader#oscar isaac characters#oscar isaac characters x reader#oscar isaac smut
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I know I promised Sherlock reviews for Free Fandom Friday, and trust me, they will come, but first I have to talk about hockey. Oh, and Captive Prince.
Concordia by Ccainao3 is what we'll be discussing today, because I haven't stopped talking about it, nor will.
fandom: captive prince
pairing: damen/laurent
explicit, 123869 words
I'm going to start by saying that if you haven't read the Captive Prince series by C.S. Pacat, it is the humble opinion of this Correspondent that you really, really should. Like, right now. It's epic enemies to lovers villain with a heart of gold Nikki catnip and I will never, ever shut up about it.
But Concordia is something very different. First of all, it's a hockey au, and for all the hockey lovers in the hbowar fandom (@ep6bastogne included)...I am not one of them. I have never once seen a hockey. And yet, as has been discussed, there's...a lot of good hockey writing? So I've read a shocking amount of hockey, and I'm here to tell you that Concordia offers Very Good Hockey.
More than that, it offers extremely good character work. Captive Prince is full of horrors, and in taking the story out of that Franco/Roman fantasy world, Ccainao3 did not remove the horrors--they exposed them. The traumas in all their multitudes are laid bare, and each character is forced to work through them. Damen and Laurent work slowly (very slowly) through Laurent's abuse, as well as each of their complicated relationships with Auguste (who lives). Damen also works through his relationship with Kastor. As in the books, Damen and Laurent are both deeply flawed people, who are trying so fucking hard.
If this all sounds dark and challenging...it is. But it's also so fun and sweet and lovely! Damen and Laurent are just so good for each other, and hard on each other in the best kinds of ways, and it was wonderful to watch them come together and heal.
“Did you think I’d been reporting on you, or something?”
“No,” Laurent says, but his face twitches.
Damen digs in his pocket for his phone, and tosses it to Laurent, who fumbles it a little but doesn’t let it fall. He looks down at it, and then back up at Damen. “What,” he says, blank.
Damen gives a “go-ahead” gesture.
“You’re serious,” Laurent says.
“As a heart attack.”
For a moment, Laurent looks almost anguished. “If your passcode’s four sevens, I’m breaking up with you,” he says finally.
“No you won’t,” Damen says comfortably. His passcode is, in fact, four sevens; there’s a click as Laurent unlocks it. “And besides, we’re just friends.”
“Of course,” Laurent murmurs. “By any chance, do you have a peach emoji and a heart next to all your friends’ names?”
Damen’s face is on fire. “The, uh, the peach emoji’s old.”
“And the heart is new?”
Damen had added it a week ago on a whim, after Laurent had sent him a text asking him to grab some yogurt on his way home. “Newer.”
“I suppose I should add an eggplant to yours,” Laurent says, almost too quietly to hear.
Damen thinks he must be eggplant-colored at this point. “Sure,” he says.
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🤝 - Some help performing a basic task
✥ I Got Something For You ✥
Trigger warnings: semi-explicit noncon. 18+ only.
Notes: 2-ish months into West Peterson.
✥ ✥ ✥
When the doorbell rang, and Mr. Peterson inclined his head toward Leo, that should have been the first warning. The, “I got something for you,” should have been the second. Neither, though, prepares Leo for who greets him on the other side. When Leo opens the door to find a man, no older than he is, with short black hair and deep, charcoal eyes, wearing a Department of Labor Services branded t-shirt staring at him, there’s only a brief moment of confusion before the pieces fall into place.
✥ ✥ ✥
[Weeks Earlier]
“Come over here,” Mr. Peterson calls to him one night, abrupt but not exactly unexpected. Leo finishes the plate he is cleaning and sets it aside. He dries his hands, unrolls the sleeves to his crisp black button-down, pours himself a glass of wine, and makes his way over to the older man who currently holds his contract.
He sits down cautiously, and Mr. Peterson offers him a genuine smile. “I'm– I'm just going to cut to the chase, Leo. I’ve been giving this some thought..." He reaches for his tablet and turns it on. “Now that you’ve been here for a few months, and you know– well, you know how fond of you I am,” he continues.
Leo returns the smile and nods, mouthing a soft, 'thank you,' to be on the safe side.
“I just have been thinking it’s too much for one person,” Mr. Peterson continues. Leo takes a breath, his eyebrows rising. “All of this. And, not just that. But they said, uh–” He runs his hand over the back of his neck and takes a long sip of his scotch. “Well, they said you like interacting with your peers. That you crave companionship. Something like that.”
A silence buds, and so Leo, eager to prevent the void from growing uncomfortable, says, “I suppose neither of those things are untrue.”
“Great. So I've– I’ve been thinking it has to be hard on you. When I’m away, or when I’m otherwise occupied. I thought it might be nice to… I don’t know, procure you a… a companion. To help keep you sharp, and uh– to help keep you happy, I guess,” he finishes.
Leo swallows, tilting his head to one side, as Mr. Peterson turns his tablet so he can see the screen.
“I know that some might think of this as some type of perversion of justice,” he continues, immune to Leo’s curiosity shifting into something more tense. Leo takes a long sip of wine, peering at the screen. “I asked the director at Greenwood to pull a few options for us." Leo's jaw drops. "Before you say anything,” Mr. Peterson adds quickly, “I want you to know that I’m doing this as much for me as I am for you, and I don't... I'm not asking you for permission here, or for your blessing. I think it’ll be good for you to have someone here, but it’ll also be good for me.
"All that said, I do want your input." Mr. Peterson shows him the picture of a worker, and Leo forces himself to remain neutral, if for no other reason than to disguise his discomfort. At seeing this. At getting his first glimpse into this side of things.
“I don’t need you to make any type of final decision about the suitability of these boys,” Mr. Peterson continues. “My attorneys will review their files and ultimately determine if they’re a good match to my, and by extension, your needs. But I’d like to give you the opportunity to veto any, or if you feel strongly attached to any, I��d like to know that, too. Ideally, I'd like to find someone we both find attractive, and someone who may hold your interest through the duration of your contract.”
The evening is spent scrolling through the pictures of seventeen workers, with Leo mostly silent, entirely focused on keeping himself calm, and Mr. Peterson running a verbal pros and cons list for each one. Occasionally, he requires commentary from Leo, and in these instances, as subtly as he can, Leo tries remind him of their humanity. And all through it, Leo actively avoids thinking about the last time Mr. Peterson did this, about his own image appearing on the screen. What he had said then, with whom he had reviewed these files. Inevitably, those thoughts do creep in, but Leo shuts them down as quickly as he can.
And when Mr. Peterson closes the last of the files, glancing finally at a stunned silent Leo, and then, perhaps because he notices something in Leo's expression, excuses himself to bed, Leo finishes his wine in silence and promises himself he will not think about this night. Ever again.
✥ ✥ ✥
“Oh,” Leo says now, opening the front door wider. He shakes his head in a kind of detached disbelief, then steps aside, turning in time to see Mr. Peterson making his way to the foyer. “Mr. Peters–”
“You must be Will,” Mr. Peterson says, and Leo, in that moment, wishes he could be anywhere but in this room. Will is… around his age, he guesses. Around his height, around his build. Dark eyes, easy smile. He can’t help but think that Mr. Peterson has a type, and he also can’t help but wonder what–
“Leo, introduce yourself,” Mr. Peterson says, sharply enough that Leo doesn’t hesitate to reach out his hand.
“I’m Leo.” He smiles, as he would greet any other of Mr. Peterson’s guests. “It’s nice to meet you,” he continues.
Will takes his hand, offering a gentle, if not a little bravely assertive, handshake. He watches Leo closely, holding his eye contact for just a moment too long.
“Well,” Mr. Peterson says, loud enough that Leo drops his hand abruptly, locking his fingers behind his back. “Looks like you two will be just fine.” He nods, as if to punctuate the thought.
Leo can’t shake the unease he feels as Mr. Peterson looks over Will once, then lets his gaze shift to Leo.
✥ ✥ ✥
They spend the first few days falling into a new routine. Leo, on edge since the day Will showed up, waits for the other shoe to drop, and Will puts a razor-sharp focus on assimilating with as little fanfare as possible. And he’s good at it.
Will, who, it turns out, is one year younger than Leo but has been in the system since the day after he turned eighteen, is, in a lot of ways, a perfect product of the training. He meets Leo in the kitchen every morning at seven, and while Leo makes breakfast, Will sets the table. While Leo cleans the bathroom, Will does the laundry. While Leo helps with the restaurant, Will does the yard work.
Will seldom attempts to speak to him, but when he does, he keeps it light. It’s almost too easy, Leo thinks constantly, so at the end of their fifth night together, when Mr. Peterson stops Will from going to his bedroom with a terse, “Wait,” Leo immediately goes rigid. Partly because it has, he’s decided, been way too easy, and partly because Mr. Peterson is on his third scotch, but mostly because of the way Mr. Peterson looks not at Will as he speaks, but at Leo.
“Sit down,” Mr. Peterson says, and he inclines his head toward Leo. Will feels the danger here, too, Leo thinks. He’s hesitant in his step, maybe not noticeable to Mr. Peterson, but noticeable to Leo, who has watched him navigate the house with nothing but undiluted confidence for the last week. “I want to try something,” he says then.
Leo nods, and Mr. Peterson says, “Finish your drink,” and so Leo does so without waiting, taking two big gulps of thousand-dollar wine, and then discarding his glass. “Would you like another?” he asks, and Leo eagerly agrees. Mr. Peterson looks to Will, who fills both of their glasses, and he watches as both of his workers body their drinks.
“I thought maybe,” Mr. Peterson eventually says (and here, he has the audacity to sound nervous), “I thought it might be nice for the two of you to get to know one another a little bit better.” He stands, stretching, and says, “I’m going to help myself to another scotch. When I get back, I trust you’ll both be ready to move things along here.” He looks only at Leo, with an expectant stare that makes the hairs on Leo's arm stand up.
Leo waits until Mr. Peterson has retreated out of sight before he speaks.
He looks straight ahead as he speaks, but he knows Will is listening. In his peripheries, Will leans forward, and takes a slow sip of his wine.
“Whatever happens," Leo hears himself saying, shoving his hands under his legs to keep them from shaking, "I want you to know that I didn’t want this." He keeps his voice low, loud enough to reach Will but not loud enough to reach the bar. “Whatever he makes me do, or whatever he makes you do, just know that I didn’t… I didn’t choose this.” There’s a panicked edge to his tone that grows with each word, and he knows he needs to lose it quickly. He takes the deepest breath he can, as his eyes track Mr. Peterson making his way back to the living room.
“I know,” Will responds, equally softly. And then, as Mr. Peterson lowers himself back down onto the sofa, he says, “It’s okay.”
✥ ✥ ✥
Leo waits until he’s sure both Mr. Peterson and Will have fallen asleep before he allows himself to stand, unsteady on his feet but eager for this night to end. He walks as calmly as he can to the bathroom before he doubles over the toilet, expelling everything his stomach has to offer before letting his forehead rest on his arm.
The feeling of Will’s hands on him, of Will’s mouth on him while Mr. Peterson coaches every movement. Mr. Peterson's voice, look at his face, and he likes that, and god, fucking perfect, and keep going, and use your tongue, and don't be afraid to go a little rougher, and fucking hands down, Leo, and you're doing good, and you're so fucking hot, and every word plays through Leo’s head on repeat and Leo wants to scream to make it stop, but he can't. There's no stopping it, and there's no end to it, and it reminds him, in some ways, of how... He thought he was done, but as images of Mr. Peterson's weight landing on the sofa next to him, of Mr. Peterson stopping Will to look at him, to touch him, as Mr. Peterson's guides Leo's hand, he doubles over the toilet once more–
A knock on the door pulls Leo back to the moment, and there's a second of sheer, perfect panic where he realizes he was too loud, and someone's awake, and things are going to get infinitely worse, before he looks up. And it's... it’s Will who stands in the doorway, backlit by the dull yellow of the hall light, and Leo can breathe again.
“I was that bad, huh?” Will asks, kneeling to a crouch next to him. Will smiles, an apologetic, soft smile that Leo isn’t accustomed to, because frankly, he's not accustomed to Will speaking to him at all, before he lets the back of his hand sweep the slightly overgrown hair from Leo’s neck.
“It’s not you,” Leo says, voice hoarse and still teetering on the edge of hysteria. “It’s me.”
Will laughs then, and it's a genuine sound that Leo hasn’t heard in years, and something about it is all too much, setting off the months, or maybe years, of pent up anxiety, and Leo can’t stop the cascade of tears that silently begins to fall.
Will, for his part, sits next to him, and with no pressure for him to stop, and no one waiting for him to get his shit together, Leo cries harder.
Until eventually, he takes a long, deep breath, and he forces himself to calm down.
Several minutes pass, with both boys silent and processing the events of the evening, before Will finally says, “Did I hurt you?”
Leo replies, almost instantly, “No.”
“Okay," Will says. "Good.” He pauses, leveling his gaze on Leo. The silence draws out again, until finally, Will stands, putting his hand out to help Leo up. “I wish I could promise it won’t happen again,” Will says, quietly. “I… whatever I can do to make it easier, I’ll do. But I’ve been with guys like Mr. Peterson before, and I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and I… I think this wasn’t the end of something, it wasn’t a satisfaction of some dark repressed urge he had as a one time thing. I think it was the beginning of something.” Will opens the door and gestures Leo out first, but squeezes his shoulder as he does.
“I know,” Leo replies.
FIGHTER TAG LIST: @whump-cravings @afabulousmrtake @crystalquartzwhump @maracujatangerine @pumpkin-spice-whump @distinctlywhumpthing @thecyrulik @highwaywhump @batfacedliar-yetagain @finder-of-rings @dont-touch-my-soup @skyhawkwolf @suspicious-whumping-egg @also-finder-of-rings @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @peachy-panic @melancholy-in-the-morning @urban-dark @nicolepascaline @quietly-by-myself @pigeonwhumps @whump-blog @seasaltandcopper @angstyaches @i-msonotcreative @mylifeisonthebookshelf @anonintrovert @whump-world @squishablesunbeam @considerablecolors @whumpcereal @whumperfully @pirefyrelight @whumpsday @whumplr-reader @lonesome--hunter @darkthingshappen @alexmundaythrufriday
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Asks Comp 4/8
The thing is, Davesprite's situation is more complicated than an unfulfilled time loop. His timeline isn't an irrelevant offshoot - in fact, it's integral to the existence of the Alpha Timeline, and presumably always was. Davesprite forms part of a weird, fully intact time loop which spans multiple timelines.
And since this is a future Dave, you have to assume he knows about Bro. The two clearly had a complicated relationship, but he's surely shaken by his death - if nothing else, it's a sign of how serious things have become.
That'll be a fun thing to check out when I've finished the comic! It reminds me of those Hunger Games simulators that were doing the rounds a couple of years ago.
That's true. Dave knows how strong the Underlings have become - and yet, he's still confident that Jade can stand up to them. Presumably she finds some sort of workaround for their First Guardian powers?
Sunslammer is so good! A standout song, even in a comic with as many bangers as this one.
Honestly, part of why I'm dragging my feet on the album reviews is because I want to hear these songs for the first time in context. If I'd heard Descend before watching Descend, I feel like it would have robbed the song of some of its dramatic weight.
I assumed it was just because witches are associated with frogs.
That would have explained why they're part of her Land, but I'm pretty sure that Kanaya's glitched planet was also a frog Land, and she's not a Witch, so...?
*The rest of Sal's response has been redacted, lest we fall once more into the Frog Theory Black Hole.*
I'm pretty sure that's a statue of Echidna, the mother of monsters and Jade's Denizen. Dave's probably close to LOFAF's Palace!
The Seer sees all - and sometimes, she understands the implications before we do.
It'd certainly be interesting. I just reread that conversation, and the biggest takeaway would have been that the kids were going to befriend the trolls, and get involved in their personal drama. This would certainly be consistent with the tone established by an Act 1 Hivebent!
Yup. Vriska was only able to 'create' Perfect Jack because Becquerel didn't object.
Really, he could have prototyped anything he liked, no matter what Vriska did. Even if she tried to shut the Entry down by incapacitating Jade, he could simply have activated the piñata himself.
I mean, that's basically what happened!
If any Aspect is geared around survival, then it's Feferi's. There's no breath left in her body, but our girl is still in the game!
Getting back to the trolls will be interesting, especially since - I assume - we'll be zipping back to when Feferi was still alive. The Veil is a much less friendly place, now - but does Feferi know this? What, exactly, is about to happen to the trolls?
I suppose. I guess there's no reason for every Carapacian to be created with knowledge of the Rings.
Actually, Sburb might not want them to know - Jack's probably not the only one who wouldn't respect the Ring's rules. There could be potential ringwielders out there who are far more dangerous.
Thank you! I feel like I've been doing a lot more character analysis in Act 5 versus previous Acts, where most of my speculation was about the lore. It's a fun change of pace.
Damn, I didn't think we'd actually be explaining these!
It's moments like these which really enhance the comic for me - justifications for things that I genuinely thought were just nitpicks on my part. It's really gratifying, honestly.
@thelegendofgreg asked: Here's some commentary from the jade enter flash, theres uh. alot to read but its all neat stuff
"I talked about this way back, maybe even in an earlier book? Well, here I go again, so hold on to your ass. There are four entry items: Apple of knowledge, Bottle of wine, Crow's egg, Dog piñata. A, B, C, D. All of them are related to new life or new beginnings. You bite the apple, you fall from grace, enter a new world, begin this wild journey. You smash a bottle to christen a ship. An egg hatches, creating new life. You break a piöata to celebrate a birthday. Each involves breaking or puncturing something. Each involves a form of sustenance, or something to consume (piñatas have candy inside). Two are vessels for the substance (bottle, Piñata), two are the food items themselves (apple, egg), and one arguably counts as both (egg). Two of them drop from the same basic tree template (apple, piñata). They ramp up in complexity. John's is a simple test: bite the forbidden fruit. Not much to it. A single unit of departure, almost conceptually elemental, like an apple, as Rose goes on about later. The challenges get trickier. Rose has to break a bottle. Easy enough idea, but things go wrong, and she has to take a blind leap to get it done. A sacrificial gesture, and one of faith in a friend (Jaspers). Dave's is even more obscure. A simple test of patience, but one that's not clear. He isn't told what to do and just has to wait. Non-action is the key, and in a way it's another gesture of faith under dire circumstances. Finally, Jade's challenge incorporates a lot of these elements. It's another "blind faith" situation. She has to take a shot in the dark. There's a sacrificial gesture, but instead of risking herself (like Rose), Jade must symbolically sacrifice her friend via effigy and cannot complete the sacrifice without help from that friend. (Bec must redirect the bullet. There's no way this works if he doesn't.) It is also a signifier that the pet she knew as a friend her whole life is about to, in a way, become her enemy. Like a good dog gone bad, who now must be put down."
So they are all intended to be foodstuffs! And, apparently, alphabetical - although I think 'Crow's egg' is a bit of a stretch.
There are also themes of sacrifice and faith that I didn't really think about before. Choosing to enter Sburb at all, knowing the stakes, is absolutely a leap of faith - and it's a game which sacrifices your whole planet. Skaia's been telling us the score this whole time.
Homestuck absolutely deals with dark themes - but they start out buried under the surface, and even now, are still in the process of revealing themselves. This makes sense for Homestuck, a coming-of-age-story whose protagonists are slowly coming to terms with some dark truths about their lives.
Awful Hospital, however, immediately says: here's our protagonist. Her baby is dying. She just woke in a strange room. She doesn't know how she got here. Her baby has been stolen. There are monsters inside her brain. By the way, here's a quip, because this is actually a funny comic. It just felt... dissonant, and not in a fun way. I don't really know what it's going for, tonally.
Don't take this as a negative review, though! I only read a couple dozen pages, so I'm really not qualified to rate the comic - I just wasn't feeling it at the time, so I shelved it. I enjoy a lot of Bogleech's writing, and Awful Hospital's lore sounds pretty interesting, so I'll probably give it another shot at some point.
Not for the most part! I'm super into time travel stories, though, so I'm well-Primed to understand their intricacies.
So there might be intermittent stages between the four we've seen in the kids' session? That'd be interesting - I'd love to see the intermediary stage between John's 2D chessboard and Rose's 3D cube.
There are, at this point, too many awesome songs for me to pick favorites. Umbral Ultimatum and Sunslammer are excellent, but what songs aren't, at this point?
I can't imagine what we're in for when we reach the Act 5.2 finale...
Ooh, interesting. Considering how many accidental references Hussie seems to make, it's honestly up in the air whether that was intentional.
That said....
Jack is looking awfully divine these days.
I suppose Tavros has probably logged the most rocket-hours, yeah.
I'm sure all Breath Players probably learn to fly, unless there are some oddball classes which don't let you interact with your Aspect.
Anonymous asked: forwarding this message to you from someone who doesn't have a tumblr account. ~DJ
"Important fact. Dave and Aradia both use musical instruments for time travel, but different ones. Aradia’s is a music box, it has a single prerecorded music, the only way to “play” it is to turn it so it plays the music that was always in it. Dave’s is turntables. They contain a preexisting music, but what you do with them is to jump, cut and shuffle this music, creating something new, having full control of it. - RM"
I like it! As Time Players, they both follow the set path of the Alpha Timeline - but Dave gets a little funky with it, multiplying himself with a complex series of time loops.
Aradia, ever the fatalist, instead turns to doomed clones for reinforcements. I don't think we've ever seen her make a stable loop.
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Second prompt up on AO3 now!!
2. "You can stay here for as long as you want."
Sneak peek
“Well, I was supposed to be in Cyprus for another couple weeks, as you know, but then I decided that it really had been far too long since I came home. And did you know Daph is pregnant again? I had to find out on the group chat, and it made me realise I can't even remember the last time I could hear any of my siblings' big news for the first time in person. So I booked a plane ticket to London and now we're here.”
“And the magazine was okay with that?” She asks, raising an eyebrow.
“They uh- they weren't thrilled, no.” Colin chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of red. “Luckily I'd already visited most of the places they wanted me to review, so I just about got away with it.”
‘Of course you did.’ Penelope thinks. As Violet says, Colin could use his smile to get away with murder if he so chose.
Penelope loves Colin, she always has, and yet his spontaneity us something that she somehow both admires and doesn't fully understand. She can't imagine just dropping everything and booking a plane ticket to another country. All the what ifs, all the things that could go wrong, the mere idea fills her heart with so much anxiety it could send her into a full blown panic attack. As exciting as the idea could be… it just doesn't feel like it's something that could ever be in the cards for her.
But she loves that Colin has that side to him. She loves how bold he is, his willingness to take a risk. In some ways, she wishes she could be like that too.
“That's all really sweet, Colin.” She smiles, fidgeting with her fingers. “I more meant why are you here? ”
“Oh.” He looks around her flat, and then at her. “You were the first person I wanted to see when I got off the plane.”
#polin#bridgerton#polin fanfiction#luke newton#nicola coughlan#colin x penelope#penelope x colin#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington
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Elise "Ew, Hunt. Your drool is like glue!" No matter what Daph says, Amy should've told me. But... ugh, it's so like Amy. She speaks when she's not supposed to and doesn't say a thing when she should...
Esther "-just checking in. Remember how I said you can call anytime?"
Elise "...Y-yes. Sorry."
Esther "But you must've been busy. I heard you have a TV blog, now!"
Elise "Um. You did..?"
Esther "The editor happens to be a close friend of mine. Mark my words, you will be a proper cultural correspondent in no time."
Elise "But... I-I like writing a TV blog."
Esther "That kind of attitude gets you nowhere, Elise. Never give up on pushing forward! You could be writing reviews of grand concerts instead of silly TV series."
Elise "I-I don't know anything about music..."
Esther "That's a shame. Tristan's always loved music."
Elise ". . ."
Lydia "Oh... hello, Esther."
Esther "Good day, Lydia. I just stopped by on my way to work."
Elise "...Hi, mommy."
Elise Should I write about music, then...? But they said at work that my blog has gotten a good start...
Uh, at least Amy's easier to understand than Tristan's mom. I think she tries to be nice, but... I'm glad Tristan isn't like her at all.
#ts2#ts2 gameplay#the sims 2#the sims 2 gameplay#sims 2#sims 2 gameplay#foxfire forest#playing foxfire forest#elise rhymes#lydia rhymes#ashton green#hunter the cat#esther wells#i'm not so sure#hetty was pretty idealistic when she was younger#went to politics because she hated how unequally supernaturals were treated
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A Review of In Stars and Time
If you're seeing this, you've probably already played In Stars and Time. I'm not exactly bursting with followers from before I became obsessed with it. But this is still worth making, just in case I can convince one person to pick this game up. So, to give you fair warning, there will be some (hopefully) light spoilers in this. If you want the basics, just skip to the last two paragraphs, but if you want an idea of my emotional impression of the game, try this on for size:
In Stars and Time is an RPG about the power of friendship in which you play as Siffrin, a quiet and introspective rogue out to save the country of Vaguarde from the evil King, who seeks to freeze the world in time. With them are their friends Mirabelle, Odile, Bonnie, and Isabeau, and they all draw strength from the wonderful bonds that their little group has. Arriving in the town of Dormont, you and your friends charge up the House of Change to meet the King, ready to defeat him using the magic of...
Uh oh. Something seems to have gone wrong here. I'm pretty sure that you weren't supposed to die this early. If it was the final battle and this was some kind of grand sacrifice I would get it, but as of right now... let's just try this again.
In Stars and Time is a game about time loops. Specifically, the one that you, Siffrin, are stuck in. It turns out you may have been less prepared to fight the King than you thought. Don't worry though; you have all the time in the world to figure it out, even if it's a little more difficult than it first appeared. Just remember to rely on your helpful guide Loop, who's here to help you make it through the best they can, even if they don't know how or why the loop started in the first place. But as if getting through the House of Change wasn't hard enough, what with its traps, locked doors, and vicious Sadnesses standing in your way, you have to manage your party members too. As it turns out, they aren't looping with you. But don't worry! While you may have felt a little lost at first, eventually you discover the perfect things to do and say to make them like you even more than the first time around. With your bonds stronger than ever and your route through the House perfectly memorized, you charge up to face the King in a heated battle with the fate of Vaguarde on the line! It's difficult, but in the end you triumph over the King and head into the final room of the House to celebrate with your friends- no, your family.
That's odd. You've defeated the King with the best possible ending, but there's still another 3 Acts left in the story. What's going on here?
In Stars and Time is just another trash indie game. I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but it's true; this game should be 10 hours shorter and cut right after you beat the King with your family in tow. It hurts to play because now that things have gone wrong, things seem to have gotten worse in your head, too. Where's the resolution to this story? When does it end? You said all the right things, you made all the right moves, and your family members have never been happier! By any other game's logic, this would be the endpoint. You may have struggled to make it through the time loop, but since you managed to keep your sanity intact and be nice to your friends, you get a gold star and the true ending. For some reason, this game refuses to let you have that success, and I'm infuriated on your behalf. I suppose you'll have to keep looking for a solution somewhere within the House, even though I know you're getting a little sick of it by now. Try not to get too frustrated by all this, okay? It would be quite awful if you did something you'd regret because you were feeling...
Ah. Well.
That changes my opinion of things, I suppose. I have no words that could do justice to what we just experienced. What a finale, eh? Let's try this review one more time, with a more...complete view of things. No more of this "describe what happens in the game step by step" malarkey. Everyone knows that's bad practice anyways.
In Stars and Time is an RPG about memory, communication, and the mortifying ordeal of being known. (It'll make more sense when you play it). With a lovely sound track and both beautiful hand-drawn and pixelated artwork, In Stars and Time manages to convey one the best stories I have ever experienced in the history of gaming. If you're the sort that likes comparisons, I would describe this game as a combination of the the humor and surprising depth of the Stanley Parable, the intense emotional characters and tight writing of Undertale, and the incredible worldbuilding of Harry Potter (without having to suffer through J. K. Rowling). I felt genuinely mystified by the unexplained and had a strong desire to learn more about the world during my unfortunately brief time within it.
3 weeks after completing the game, I'm still stewing in the things I felt and the realizations I came to while playing it. This is one of the few games I can say genuinely changed my life; after playing it I found the strength to reach out and connect to the friends I have in the real world on a level I never thought I'd be able to achieve. I feel a moral obligation to recommend this game; if it can do the same things for you that it did for me, it would be evil of me to deny you them. For the incredibly modest price of 20$, you will experience approximately 20 hours of soul-gripping gameplay that might stick with you for the rest of your life. This is something worth your time.
#isat#logoffspeaks#review#game review#pc games#video games#steam games#gaming#videogame#game recommendations#switch games#in stars and time#it's way easier to write if you pretend to be a different character#if anyone can guess who i'll be shocked
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It's generally left out in the annals of bad behavior/infidelity in the Gilmore Girls canon, but I just want to review the details of Lorelai's "situationship" with Twilight Dad in season 3 when she is in the midst of lecturing Jess and Rory on proper boyfriend/girlfriend etiquette.
Lorelai meets Alex (aka Twilight Dad) on 3.11, which aired on January 21. She and Alex are third wheels when Sookie meets up with an old friend and accidentally sets up a date with him (this takes place during the episode where Rory and Paris fence and have intense sexual tension). I think he asks her out during this episode.
One week later, on 3.12 (airing on February 28) Lorelai and Alex have a coffee date. They discuss the coffee shop he's opening and his two kids who he shares custody with his ex. He suggests a fishing date, and Lorelai ropes Luke into teaching her how to fish. Bear in mind that she has known Luke has crushed on her for the better part of two years.
Anyway, after this incident, Luke decides to give up on Lorelai and asks Nicole out.
The next episode is 3.13, which is the flashback episode. It airs on February 4. This is Luke and Nicole's first date. Nicole definitely does not spend the night.
3.14 airs on February 11. This is Swan Song, where Lorelai is antsy about Rory and Jess possibly fucking, he gets beaked in the eye by the ghost of Shane, they fight, and at the end of the episode Alexis makes a way too realistic moan into Milo's mouth and Rory goes home and tells Lorelai that she's totally going to do Jess at some point.
So Alex and Lorelai have been going out for three weeks, and they decide to go away together with Sookie and Jackson. Sounds kind of serious. It's also mentioned in this episode that in the one week he's been dating Nicole Luke has been on a bunch of overnight trips to New York and seen a bunch of Broadway plays with his girlfriend. I guess we're supposed to assume there's a time jump here because there's no way he did all that within a week.
I'll also point out here that even though Luke mentions he interrupts Rory and Jess every ten minutes so they don't get around to having sex, if he's also making overnight trips to New York they're probably being left alone in the apartment at night quite a bit. Pair that with the offscreen "movie nights" we hear about later and yeah, uh, I think we can figure out what is taking place because no way is that going on in Lorelai's house unless it's also happening while she's out with Alex.
3.15 is February 18, the hockey episode. Jess doesn't call Rory to arrange a date and Lorelai lectures him on his terrible boyfriend behavior. Then he shows up with hickey tickets (and then some!) and I'm guessing Rory's virginity became fairly technical in the car afterwards.
3.16 is the episode where Paris is rejected from Harvard, which airs on February 25. Lorelai is delighted to know that Rory has not actually had sex and that she has "the good kid". She also makes out with Max and then tells Rory all about it and when Rory asks about poor Twilight Dad, Lorelai says "I don't know." I'm thinking you really should not be giving lectures on morality and proper relationship etiquette, hon. Also two weeks ago the relationship was serious enough to include an overnight weekend, but now it doesn't matter? Huh.
So let's skip ahead to Keg. Max, which is three episodes and two months later, which airs on April 25. I'm assuming there actually was a time jump between Luke and Nicole's first date and the swan episode and these episodes actually took place much closer together than they aired, as there's a lot of stuff going on with Luke finding out Jess is skipping school, steals his car to force him to go, and Jess finally being told he isn't graduating that seems like it would take place much closer in time. Anyway, it seems that Lorelai concludes that her relationship with Twilight Dad is over, because "it's become more intermittent". Does she call him and ask them if their relationship is over? I think we all know the answer to that one. Lorelai tries to push herself on Max after he says no and acts like she's the one that's been affronted when he shoves a table between them. I think there was supposed to be a parallel between Lorelai and Jess crossing boundaries in this episode, although I'm not sure why Lorelai did what she did for any reason other than she felt like it.
I really feel someone who behaves in this manner should not be lecturing her teenage daughter or her boyfriend about what a real relationship looks like, nor should she be evaluating who or who isn't "the good kid" based on what she's been doing. It appears Alex was just cheated on and dropped without explanation as the relationship was getting serious. Rory was fully aware of what was happening and further got the message that it is okay to do this sort of thing if an ex boyfriend enters the picture because if he was yours first, it's okay to cheat with him whenever you feel like it. I'm sure that's not something she's going to take to heart or anything.
Anyway, fair well Twilight Dad. I'm sure you'll have more interesting adventures in the PNW from now on.
#alex lesman#gilmore girls#the misadventures of twilight dad#also thoughts on rory and jess's movie nights
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