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humongousgothskeletonfarm · 16 days

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chapter 6 thoughts: (spoilers ahead!)

oh. fuck.

he was king. now he’s a martyr.

holy shittttt

aftg really brings us all together, this is random but i love talking to other fan accounts about the books

anyway fanfics will no longer have to speculate when rikos funeral was, and if kevin attended or not (or if he had a mental breakdown about it)

also neil u have no tact babe and i love u for it

oh renee ur so lovely ur so insightful (neil u should listen to what she has to say)

jean and his ‘i won’t grieve him’ ❤️🫶

- ‘promise me’ jean said with a desperation that should have kill him, nathaniel didn’t hesitate, ‘i promise’ SHUT THE FUCK UP I LOVE THEM THANK U NORA THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANTED FROM THIS BOOK

THE SWAP FROM NATHANIEL TO NEIL IS JUST AS POWERFUL FROM JEANS PERSOECTIVE IN TSC AS IT WAS IN FROM NEILS IN TKM I LITERALLY CANNOT THE PARALLELS ARE KILLING ME

it’s 1:40 am and i’ve just made a cup of tea to keep myself awake

feeling many things about jeans perusal of the fox photo wall and taking renee’s picture

i know these motherfuckers aren’t accusing neil kevin and jean of abandoning that cunt and leading to his ‘suicide’

WE ARE THE RIGHT PEOPLE I THINK JUST NOT THE RIGHT TIME (look i am admittedly not a jean/renee shipper but good god they are so sweet in this)

A COOL EVENING BREEZE AND RAINBOWS

screaming as silently as i can rn

- petition for someone to put summertime sadness on the jean playlist

whattttt is the mystery about jeremy’s family?? what is this fabled fall banquet that tore his family in half im so intrigued i have to know more

ALSO JEREMY IS IN THERAPY AND HAS SOME SORT OF FAMILY ISSUES I KNEW IT IM SURE THATS ON A BINGO SOMEWHERE

jeremy dad of the trojans checking to see that they’re safe and also cody first cannon non binary character??? pls say yes

accidentally fell asleep in the middle of my planned all nighters whoops it’s currently 7 am

chapter 7:

“I like to indulge,” Jeremy said with a dimpled smile. Kevin’s words mocked him in the back of his thoughts: “Some of them you like.”

i did. notice this in chapter 2 or whatever but is this?? are we getting jerejean???? that’s what this means righ??

jeremy wdym ‘oh to be the pampered elite’ u have a butler??

jean defending kevin saying he’s earned the right to be arrogant be still my beating heart i love these stubborn mother fuckers

He was years away, watching a different beautiful boy lean in close to say, Will you teach me when he’s not watching? It could be our secret.

STOP IT RN

chapter 8!!

flicked him a sly look. “Easy on the eyes, maybe.”

AHHHHH!!!

also so glad that there’s 100% confirmation cat and laila are dating (shared bedroom!)

the description of laila and cats lounge room is so soft and cozy im so jealous i wish i was there

barkbark von barkenstein u will never top sir fat cat mcatterson (although props to nora for always having simultaneously the worst and most creative names for pets)

jean telling cat she’s a good player but misses every ball at her hips is literally every raven! (someone) fic ever come to life where they meet a relatively normal other team and have absolutely no tact or awareness of what others considered rude and immediately tell the other players what their weaknesses are (i’m obsessed)

“Yes,” he said, and if he didn’t sound sure, he at least sounded angry. “Let them all burn. I hope none of them survive.” BABY I LOVE U IM SO PROUD OF U UR SAFE NOW FUCK RIKO FUCK THE RAVENS FUCK THE MASTER

“Oh, he’s good. A bit rude, but I like him. I think we’re going to be good friends.”

i’d say the exact same thing

*jeremy giving jean the keys*

well it’s not andreil levels of drama and symbolism but love a good comparison

or they do not care enough about her wellbeing. It’s unforgivable either way.”

giggling a bit over jean being up in arms about boba knowing that he’d be seriously unimpressed with me if he knew how much boba i drank

he wants to know what it was for

AND WHAT IF THAT LINE BROKE ME NORA?? AND WHAT THEN??

The Ravens had given up everything to be the undefeated champions, only to be destroyed last month by a tiny team from South Carolina.

I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE

“Loving something is not enough,” Jean told him, right on cue. “When is the last time you enjoyed playing?” Jeremy asked. “Irrelevant,” Jean said. “I am Jean Moreau; I am perfect Court. I do not need to enjoy it to be the best backliner in the NCAA.”

that was what Jean felt safest in, Jeremy would back his decision wholeheartedly.

LITERALLY LEAVE ME ALONE

chapter 9999

also i’m so glad that we have jeremy/laila/cat friendship like in fics and stuff they were always best buddies coz they were the only trojan characters named in the books but it’s great to see they’re actually good friends in cannon

“I need you to listen to me for one moment,” Laila said, “and I need you to believe me when I say it. Fuck Coach Moriyama.”

AGREED AGREED AGREED FUCK THAT CUNT

COOKING LESSONS WITH JEAN THIS IS THE WHOLESOME CONTENT I SIGNED UP FOR

cat talking macronutrients and promising to help with his diet so it’s still familiar but more fun in order to begin healing jeans relationship with food is so important to me

nora bleaching jeremy’s hair blonde after telling us she was shocked we all headcannoned him as blonde while she thought he was brunette is so funny to me,, don’t worry fan artists u do not have to change a thing!

(frosted tips made me giggle too, jeremy u pussy)

“Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?”

chapter 10

jean learning basic household chores like sorting and washing clothes and deep cleaning the apartment and learning his way around a supermarket <3

LAILA CAT JEAN FRIENDSHIP IS REAL

Afternoons were filled with whatever the women were in the mood for that day, be it wandering downtown, shopping, or combing through estate sales.

Jean went where they took him because it was better than being left in the house alone,

COOKING IS HEALING JEAN ITS A COMFORT THING SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS EVERYTHUNG HES SO REAL FOR THAT

Ravens graduated; they didn’t leave.

fuck if that didn’t just stop my heart

i definitely should have been more wary of the trigger warnings. if anyone is wanting to read the book but is worried about certain parts, i’d be happy to let y’all know what sections are triggering so u can try and skip around them.

But Jean was not a Raven, and Wayne was dead.

FUCK YEAH BABY NOT ANYMORE U ARENT

the thought of that quiet space with its single bed was so repulsive he turned toward the living room instead. - this is so important to me

He could sense the others’ presence even if they weren’t around to bother him, and that was enough to take the edge off the loneliness eating at his heart.

literally end my life i’m so happy for jean, he’s healing slowly but surely

this was better than anything he’d ever had. It was worlds more than he deserved. He feared it as much as he wanted it;

JEAN U DO DESERVE IT I PROMISE U

wait wtf,, zane is reacher??? in literally every raven fic ever reacher is the most abusive character other than riko

OMFG BEACH SCENE??? THEYRE GONNA TAKE JEAN TO THE BEACH??? CHECK THAT OFF EVERY SINGLE BINGO CARD MADE FOR THIS BOOK

^ yeah i wrote that two seconds before then reading jeans panic attack about drowning and the trigger of riko waterboarding him and neil and now i want to cry

#aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #tsc #the sunshine court #jean moreau #jeremy knox #laila dermott #catalina alvarez #nora sakavic #usc trojans #renee walker #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #david wymack #nathaniel wesninski

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angel-zophiel · 1 year

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Hi, could you write something about Jean Paul Valley again? I have an idea this time, but you can do a freestyle, I don't mind. What JPV's daily life is like with his partner (who is a homo magi or just a regular magic user) and his cat (I need George in this). You know, sometimes I like to think about what his life is like when he doesn't have to run around Gotham as Azrael. As always, I wish you a good day/evening and lots of ideas, take care!! ☺️🌷

"God it smells so good!" You groaned under your breath as the gentle fragrance of dinner wafted into your room. You quickly abandoned the work you had been attending to and followed the scent towards the kitchen, and that was where you found Jean-Paul in his most natural state. He was leaned slightly over the counter with his hair pulled up. "What are you cooking?" He whipped his head back, having embarrassingly been caught by surprise.

He smiled upon seeing you there and nodded, "Why, does it smell good?"

You scoffed and nodded before hopping up onto the counter, letting your legs dangle off the side.

"Had I known you could cook I would've put a ring on you when we met." He laughed this time and turned back towards the stove.

"Had I known you were so fond of food, I would've brought you meals instead of flowers." He turned the burner up and walked towards the fridge, rummaging around for whatever else it was he felt he needed.

As if being summoned by the glorious concoction Jean was cooking as well, George, Jean's kitten wandered into the room, meowing loudly as he did so. Since he had been found on the street, George had always been a screamer. You liked to joke that he just had a lot to say, but the jokes would become less funny at 4am when the kitten would interrupt your oh-so-beloved rest. "Yes, pumpkin?" Jean called, closing the fridge with the butter in hand, "Are you hungry?" Instead, George ignored him and walked over to the counter you were sitting on, rubbing against your dangling legs. "Oh, now he has favorites." Jean feigned. "Of course he does. Look at me." Jean rolled his eyes and turned back towards the stove. "You know George, I brought you here." To which the kitten yelled in reply.

You barked out a laugh before waving your hand in a circular motion, causing the kitten to levitate into the air. He slowly drifted upwards until he landed softly in your lap.

"Tada!" You exclaimed to the kitten, giving him playful little jazz hands. Jean smiled at your childish display. "George told me that he thought it was great." "Wasn't it?" You cooed, sliding your hand slowly past the side of your head cockily. Jean shrugged, doubling back on his compliment.

"Well, I think it was a little basic but, you know, good enough for the cat I guess." "Don't try to humble me." You quipped. George curled into your lap as you gently stroked his fur, combing behind his ears and down to his tail. The room and ambiance were far too comfortable for you to return back to your work, so you decided to forgo it and just watch Jean finish cooking the rest of the meal, "Oh also," You said, the memory of a previous conversation popping back into your mind, "How is Kevin?" You asked, eyes glued onto the now-purring kitten in your lap. "Kevin?" I dont know any...kevins..." His looked shifted to one of recognition,"Oh! At the hospice." He let out a short sigh. "Oh, that doesn't sound like it's anything good." You grabbed one of the bananas that rested on the counter beside you and began to peel it.

"Its not." He lowered the heat and put a lid on the pot before turning to face you, arms crossed in resignation. "I cant be that upset though, I mean-" He shook his head as he remembered just how upset he had been over the loss of one of his patients, "Its a hospice. People are sent there to die, and yet I feel as if I- if I were to just- I don't know, do better? I could save them. Everyone that comes in there is just so..." Jean's grip loosened and his hands dropped, grabbing onto the counter behind him, "resigned to dying."

He sighed before tilting his head to the side, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. "So yeah. Kevin's gone." "That just sounds hard doll." You said heartfully, your attention now given to him fully. "You know this, probably better than most others, but you can't save everyone." You comforted. His entire life, day and night was essentially dedicated to saving others. Be it as Azrael or Jean Paul, and yet at times it seemed he struggled more with the people at the Hospice than he did when the countless goons of the city shot round after round at him. Because when he was with the goons, it was Azrael who had to handle everything. But at the hospice, it was just Jean-Paul. And it was just Jean-Paul that had to watch as soul after soul was brought there, waiting to die. Losing someone as Azrael never hurt as much as they did, because when it was Azrael he could justify to himself that he did his best. But the Hospice was out of his control. He couldn't help them, only try to make them as comfortable as possible.

"I don't know.." He trailed off. Shaking his head slightly he looked back up at you grinning, "But if you're looking for good news, foods ready."

#azrael #jean paul valley #azrael dc #azrael imagine #jeanpaul valley x reader #im so serious when I tell yall this man can cook #is it obvious i just discovered people made dividers on tumblr #lmfao theyre so pretty its not my fault

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mayyourshipsbewithyou · 3 years

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Things I loved about In the Heights

-The sounds of the city are part of the music of the opening song

-The frame story is the only way this story should be told; the story only works if it shows the results of Usnavi's decision to stay

-Anthony and Lin shaking hands

-Yay to random mixed race couple asking for directions

-“I hope you’re writing this down I’m gonna test you later” only makes sense with kids

-Showing different residents of Washington Heights provides scale

-I’m not sure about the decision to cut Camila, but if it means less Nina drama, then I love it

-I love how Usnavi has his friends’ orders all ready to go

-LOVE how Usnavi announces Benny’s entrance

-Everything about Vanessa in this movie is perfect=> she’s given so much more depth, her beauty is downplayed, she’s kind of a nerd, but has a beautiful smile

-Nina’s heels=> metaphor for her reaching for the stars

-I love the actress that plays Nina; she’s the right age and her singing voice is so sweet

-Nina’s hair is straight when she’s at school; as soon as she comes home, it’s curly=>she can be herself at home

-When Nina turns around and sees the crowd of people counting on her=> I felt that

-I love seeing Nina get her acceptance letter; I remember what that was like for my brother

-Camila must have died while Nina was at college in this version; Nina lost her mother recently which helps explain her different reason for dropping out; she feels lost

-I don’t know why Sonny is using this deep voice, but I love it!

-Whoever decided to have 96,000 take place at the pool is a genius

-The graphics at the beginning of 96,000 are good for helping regular people understand the rap

-Pete just put his arm around Sonny=> are they dating?

-Sonny yelling 96,000 as he enters the pool=> the sound design

-Pete nodding along to Usnavi=> sucking up to the family

-Usnavi is such a proud cousin-uncle during Sonny’s part in 96,000

-Vanessa making her “I'll be downtown” walk down a ramp

-The dancer doing flips is now a diver doing spins into the pool

-On stage, the lighting was dark; in the movie, it’s underwater

-The circles of people in the pool reflect the zeros in 96,000

-Lin and Chris being rivals is perfect; their bromance is everything

-Nina and Benny being together before the events of the movie means they are the beta couple and have less drama than Usnavi/Vanessa which is how it should be

-Benny joins in during “on that fire escape”=> like West Side Story

-Benny’s “Let me in” against the fence is hilarious

-Nina and Benny are FUN, not angsty like in the original

-Nina following the little girl=> following herself, following her dreams which eventually lead her to the sea; all of this is done while she’s talking about her past

-Nina and Benny instrumental™ part 1 in the middle of “When You’re Home”, Benny interrupts=> their story isn't complete yet

-Benny says he believes in her without discounting her feelings

-Everyone loving Nina=> I finally get it

-Nina is home geographically and with people who love her

-Benny is Nina’s home

-In the Heights is about how dreams are great, but the life you have now can be so beautiful

-Nina’s hair during the dinner/club scene is great

-Usnavi is wearing his dad’s hat for his date with Vanessa; he knows that she is to him what his mom was for his dad

-Family dinners are the same in every culture

-Awkwardness of long-time friends going on a date

-Vanessa offers Usnavi his first drink of the night; he thinks that’s what she wants; because why would she want him and only him?

-Usnavi whispering in Vanessa’s ear is so sexy

-Love that Benny is on Nina’s side instead of being mad at her

-I wonder if they thought 5 years of Benny working for Kevin was too much or too little since they changed that line to "all these years"

-Benny’s reactions to Vanessa dancing at the club are hilarious

-Vanessa laughing at Usnavi dancing with someone else

-Nina is always smiling and laughing at the things going on around her; not as self centered

-Nina and Benny dancing at the club=> all of the yeses

-Usnavi is too nervous about being alone with Vanessa that he un-dated himself; he wasn’t quite ready

-Love that they consciously cut all the “Usnavi, help me” parts=> Vanessa is not a victim

-Fireworks are a romantic setting for Sonny and Pete, just saying

-Usnavi/Benny/Nina talking about the fourth member of their square gives me feelings; I need more of these four in fanfic, my dreams

-“I got to wait for Vanessa”=> the stuff dreams are made of

-Benny is such a good person; he’s even better than the original which is what he deserves

-Usnavi is relieved to have Vanessa call his name

-“Don’t walk away from us tonight”=> great addition

-To give Usnavi and Vanessa some of Nina and Benny’s original lines is to see the face of God

-The first time I saw this, I’m ashamed to admit, I thought Benny was going to steal money from the dispatch; I was a fool

-Dancer with fireworks on his shoes

-Benny is smart and good; he isn’t doing this for Kevin or Nina but for the people of New York

-Abuela was able to see stars again on the last night of her life

-I’m sad Blackout isn’t exactly the same but the orchestral parts that cover up what is unsaid is so beautiful it makes up for it

-Abuela’s family is her “fireworks”; they are what light up the Heights

-Sonny came to Usnavi instead of being with his dad during the blackout; his real family

-Abuela’s smile as she looks at her family while reflecting on her childhood is the most beautiful thing there will ever be

-Paciencia y Fe as a dream sequence is how it was meant to be

-The transition on the subway from reality to memory

-Paciencia y Fe is a mixture of cultures; like Abuela’s memories

-“Wide awake”=> stepping off the subway

-The same actress played Abuela on Broadway and in the movie

-Abuela may be in a musical, but she’s still an old woman

-“As I feed these birds”=> back to the present

-Calor means heat in Spanish but in English it sounds like color

-Abuela dying during the night of the blackout is perfect

-Usnavi saying “she was just here” twice: when she was literally just there and many years, maybe a decade, after the fact

-Usnavi’s daughter is the life that goes on after Abuela is gone

-Usnavi and Nina crying together

-Those closest to Abuela are inside and everyone else is outside

-Iris was sitting on the outside and now she’s in the middle; needed comfort from her friends

-“Should we take a break?”=> we’re past the point of an intermission

-“No daddy, keep going”=> does this look like a stage production to you? It’s a fucking movie

-There isn’t a clear point for an intermission; the action stays strong over where the intermission should be; this is a movie, not a play, and movies don’t have intermissions

-Everyone’s holding candles; like the stars Abuela loved so much

-Iris called Usnavi Daddy for the first time because that was the point in the story where he needed to hear that the most

-“I thought about the people I care about the most, I thought about you”

-Anthony makes Usnavi sexy in a way Lin never could

-So many people love Vanessa, but no one better than Usnavi

-Abuela paid to have Camila's napkins cleaned after all

-Usnavi is the kind of parent that doesn’t sugarcoat life

-Vanessa listed no emergency contacts even though she had people

-“That’s senorita to you”=> yes girl, get it

-Love Daniela for getting everyone out of their asses

-“Tonteria” means foolishness=> the more you know

-How fast Carla says no to “ask me why” shows how quickly she wants to please her love

-Usnavi’s Nueva York t-shirt=> I need it

-Daniela’s first effect being on a woman whose hair is terrible

-Carla pushing that man away from her woman with a bullshit excuse

-My friend was laughing at the parts that were meant to be jokes

-Usnavi’s entrance being announced in Carnaval del Barrio; just like Benny in the opening song

-“There’s nothing holding me down”=> assuming he was rejected

-The different communities dancing with their flags

-Nina being part of Carnaval del Barrio is great

-Even Kevin, kind of an old man, can get down

-Since Nina and Benny sex scene wasn’t shown on screen (praise Jesus), I have to assume Nina told Daniela even though she knows she’s a huge gossip

-Everyone stops because Sonny, a kid, starts singing

-Vanessa and Sonny are so powerful together

-Vanessa’s hand on Sonny’s shoulder

-A kid providing Usnavi with the “flag I’ve got in my hand”

-Usnavi and Vanessa dancing together is muy romantico

-Everything about Nina’s appearance in “When the Sun Goes Down”

-“Let me just listen to my block”=> peak Nina

-Abuela wrote “for Usnavi” on her lotto ticket 😭

-They cut so many songs but kept Champagne=>I love their priorities

-The pause before “you outta stay”

-Everyone has such great chemistry; especially Usnavi and Vanessa

-The choreography in Champagne is what I’ve always imagined

-Usnavi didn’t have time to cash in because Vanessa came over

-Vanessa and Pete friendship for the win

-“Best days of my life” is said thrice=> good things come in threes

-Usnavi staring at the room where Vanessa kissed him

-Iris knows he stayed; she loves her dad so much

-Usnavi looking out his window in Washington Heights and seeing his friends on his dad’s beach

-When Usnavi talks about Kevin at the dispatch, the camera flashes to an abandoned building

-“Vanessa at the salon”=> Usnavi sheds a tear

-Vanessa being front and center during Usnavi’s decision to stay

-Hearing the sounds of the beach during the unveiling

-It’s all about Vanessa=> perfection

-Lin being at the ending is perfect no matter the context

-“Say it so it doesn’t disappear”=> the sad reality is your neighborhood probably will disappear

-Usnavi telling his daughter “you’re it” is everything

-Iris understanding all of the little details of her father’s store now that she knows his story

-Iris is the goddess of the rainbow like the light that appears when water appears on a sunlit day

-“Man, you talk forever”=> that’s so “How I Met Your Mother”

-Iris has a necklace of seashells, like the islands

-Vanessa would sooner get wet than let go of Usnavi’s hand

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willyoulovemeinthemorning · 3 years

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The Prodigal Daughter Chapter 1

Summary: As the secret daughter of Jason Gideon, you’ve always had a certain proclivity towards profiling. After finishing the Academy, you finally have your chance in the BAU- only months after your dad’s passing. Will it all be too much? Will you find yourself sharing another proclivity with your father for a certain genius with big puppy dog eyes? A/N: Hello! This is my first fic in a very long time, but this story idea has been living in my head for upwards of 6 or 7 years! Please go easy on me, and I hope you enjoy! a big thanks to @candlesandsoftrain for being a great beta! Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader  Category: Fluff/getting to know you games with the team Content Warning: nothing in this chapter except lots of flirting, tension, sexually charged drinking games, etc. Later chapters will include NSFW Word Count: 4000+

Chapter 1

The years moved by much too fast for your liking. You were older than you were willing to admit, and the years had been hard. Time moved so oddly- it was so difficult and slow when it was happening, but when you looked back, it was as if it sped by like a freight train.

Today was your first day at your new job- you were 27 and you’d been waiting your whole life for this day to finally come. After hearing stories about your father all through your life; catching the monsters in the dark as well as those that hide in plain sight… you wanted to be a superhero too. And lucky for you, you had a certain proclivity towards reading people. So, you became a profiler. And after years of grueling school, training and fighting to earn your place with no one knowing the legacy in your blood line, you did it.

No, those weren’t tears in your eyes… it was just dusty in the bullpen, that was all. You could feel him everywhere. You knew this was where he lived and breathed and worked for so much of his life. Your mom never understood how you ended up being so understanding about never seeing him, while your brother spent so much of your lives incredibly bitter and angry at him for “abandoning” you both. You always told Stephen that dad spent every minute of every day trying to make the world a safer place for the two of you to grow up in. And now you could finally continue his life’s work.

You caught a few pairs of eyes looking at you when you entered the bullpen for the first time, walking through like you’d been there a million times before- because in your imagination, your dreams, you had. Dad was always so descriptive with his words, and it was never hard to get lost in his stories.

You walked right to the Unit Chief’s office, knowing that Agent Hotchner was already in there waiting for you. You were supposed to have your first meeting on Monday, but when the team didn’t get back in time from their last case- a strangler in Minnesota, he had called you and you rescheduled to accommodate those dang annoying serial killers. Now it was Wednesday, and you could feel the tired energy in the room. It was filled with the sounds of scribbling pens and pencils on paper, the groans and squeaks of chairs as everyone tried to stay comfortable while doing their paperwork. You spotted a few very attractive people around you, but tried to keep your eyes forward as you headed for your destination.

After knocking on the door, you heard a shuffling of papers as a low, gritty voice welcomed you, “Come on in.”

“Hello, Agent Hotchner. Nice to see you again.” You offered your hand, which he took with his baseball mitt sized one. It was rough and strong, and reminded you of your fathers when you were young. You could tell these hands had seen a lot of conflict.

“Y/N , you’ve grown up a lot since last I saw you.” He had a kind smile on his face, which surprised you, even after all this time. Aaron Hotchner was always such a serious man, even when you were younger. “And please, call me Aaron. You know that.”

You chuckled in response. “I know, but it feels weird to call you that now that you’re my boss.”

“Hotch will do then. Morgan will give you quite a hard time if he hears you calling me ‘Agent Hotchner’, I can promise you that. Sit, sit. Let’s get through all the necessary annoyances so I can properly introduce you to your new team.”

After all of the finalized paperwork and introductory nuisances, Hotch finally stood up, indicating it was time to enter the bullpen again, but with a promise of introductions to your new team. You felt a small pang in your heart. You wished your dad could have been here to do this instead of Aaron. He took notice of your second of discomfort- something you were sure to get used to quickly working with profilers.

“Y/N, he’s here… in you. I know how proud he would be of you.” He said to you with a hand falling to your shoulder.

With a smile, you accepted the comfort, turning to look at him again. “Would you mind… could we see Uncle Dave first? I think it would make me feel a little better to have him next to me for this.” That damn dust was at it again. You were fine, really. You’d been preparing for this emotion for months now- there was nothing to surprise you.

With a gentle smile, Aaron- no, Hotch, you remembered- nodded. “Of course. Follow me to his office.” It didn’t escape your notice that, as you followed him, you were on your way to your dad’s old office. Each step brought you to a place you’d heard about, thought about, dreamt about, but had never seen. But when you walked in behind Hotch, you knew this was nothing like your father would have kept it. It just screamed Rossi.

“Y/n! If it isn’t the smartest and brightest star from the Academy, falling right here into our laps at the BAU!” Dave cheered as he saw you, shooting up from his chair and almost running to you, pulling you into his arms while Hotch closed the door to offer you all some privacy.

“Uncle Dave, you can’t believe how amazing it is to have you here on my first day.” You said into his shoulder, holding him close. He was always such a big supporter of your career- there every step of the way whenever your dad couldn’t be. You always said that you were lucky- god blessed you with a loving, mildly helicopter mother, and two superhero dads so fight all the monsters for you.

“You’re gonna be great, kid. Unless your academy grades and reputation were all a lie to get you out of their hair!” He laughed, low and warm.

You giggled, pulling back from him and punching him lightly in the arm. “Rude.” You took a deep breath, and both men noticed that you were preparing yourself to say something important. “Aaron, Uncle Dave... I made it here on my own, with my mother’s maiden name and no one knowing who my father is. I am so proud to be the daughter of Jason Gideon, and I miss him every day… but I think I want to keep my birth last name a secret for now, if you’re both okay with that. They legally changed my name when I was a baby, and while I would be so proud to have his last name again, I’m- just not ready to hold up his legacy just yet.” You explained to them, hoping they understood. Your parents had decided very early on that they didn’t want you to have the last name Gideon. It was just- too dangerous. Your father had put away too many bad people, especially people that preyed upon little girls, to risk your life that way. So while you thought of yourself as Y/N Gideon in your mind, you’d never said it out loud before. Not once.

“Of course, kiddo. Whatever you want, we’ll follow your lead. Hopefully Garcia can’t find anything with your last name, but we’ll have Kevin keep an eye on her search history in case she finds anything. But if you’re worried about anyone finding out, I would tell her and promise her to secrecy though. Because if super tech genius finds out before you tell her… everyone will know.” He explained, and you laughed. You’d heard about Garcia. Your dad used to drive her crazy. You considered Rossi’s advice and nodded, understanding and deciding to think on it.

“Ready?” Hotch said after a moment, gesturing to the bullpen, where you could see several people grouped up at a desk, staring into Rossi’s office with curiosity and perhaps a little bit of uncertainty.

“As I’ll ever be.” Rossi squeezed your hand and you smiled at him, a big toothy smile shining back at you. With two men you knew you’d already trust your life with by your side, you walked out of the room knowing that these people who you already knew so much about would soon also hold your life in their hands. “Team, I’d like to introduce you to the new member of our team, Y/N L/N. She’s transferred in with top marks from the Academy, and she’s been highly recommended by all of her professors.”

You blushed at his compliments, rolling your eyes at him. “I didn’t have the highest marks in ALL of my classes. Shooting targets took me a while.” You smile, waving at the team awkwardly. “Hi everyone, it’s an honor to be here with you. I’ve heard so much about all of you. You’re all pretty famous around the bureau. I can’t wait to meet you all and get to know you as my team instead of people I’ve been idolizing for 10 years!”

Everyone laughed, and a tall, dark and handsome man walked forward with a giant grin on his face. “Hey, Y/N, I’m Derek Morgan. You are welcome to continue to idolize me as much as you’d like.” You could have snorted, he was so much like your dad described.

“Nice to meet you, Agent Morgan.” You said with a mildly flirty smile, holding your hand out to him happily. No worries for you, you were definitely going to like your job if you had him to look at all the time.

“That’s enough touching for now, little newbie,” a big beautiful blonde said from behind him. “That is my man-candy you’re ogling and groping, thank you very much.” There was no venom to her words, just something that you could only describe as adorable teasing. She was so colorful, it was almost as if there was a light shining around her. She was just a glowing ball of sunshine… You knew you’d be fast friends with her. “I’m Penelope Garcia, resident tech Goddess and most loyal beck and call gal.”

You took her hand and shook it, before doing a slight curtsy, earning you a giggle. “An honor to meet you, Tech Goddess Garcia.”

“Ignore her, they’re perfect for each other because of their over inflated egos.” You heard a blazé voice coming from the other side of Derek Morgan. “He’s eye candy for us all, much to her dismay. She’s never been one for sharing. I’m Emily, one of the few normal ones here.”

“Normal, pfft. She’s far from normal. You should hear her talk about her cat. Jenniffer Jareau, but my friends call me JJ.”

You took both of their hands in firm handshakes, grinning at them both. “Nice to meet you, and thank you for the permission to ogle, Agents. As far as normal, I sure hope not. Normal is vastly overrated.” You grinned at them. Damn they were cute. Was this whole team models who decided to become do-gooders and join the FBI?

“Halloweentown, 1998, said by Debbie Reynolds.” A small voice in the back of the group piped in, confident in words and speed, but somehow… demure and shrouded in uncertainty, too. The team parted so you two could see each other, and you swear your heart stopped beating for a few seconds. In front of you was the prettiest, most adorable, hottest guy you’d ever seen. He had a sexy professor thing going on, but simultaneously looked like he was an anxious teenager, terrified of being bullied by this newcomer.

You longed to hold him and protect this stranger from the rest of the world and heal any wounds he had succumbed to in the time before you. He was staring at you too, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights, pupils a little bigger than you can only assume they would normally be. After a snicker broke you both from the weird moment, pretty boy smiled a little and gave an awkward wave. “Hi. Doctor Spencer Reid.”

Oh. God. Your heart stopped a second time, and you swore, this is what a stroke felt like. You’d heard about Spencer for the last ten years. Your father loved him almost as much as he loved you and your brother. Maybe even more sometimes. The BAU resident genius, IQ of 187, eidetic memory, born in Las Vegas and wasn’t allowed in most casinos due to his card counting ability. Ability to empathize and love in a beautiful and incredible way- your father adored him, and because of how he spoke of him, you… you’d always had a crush on this faceless idea in your head with his wild mop of hair and tall, lanky frame. You had a general picture from all these years, but nothing had prepared you for this.

“H-Hi. I’m Y/N. N-Nice to meet you.” You said, trying your hardest not to sound like a little school girl with a crush on her teacher. You’d just met the man, for god sakes. You heard another snicker, and this time you knew it was from Morgan just from the proximity of the sound and the testosterone you could feel from the gesture. You tried to ignore your flaming red cheeks, and held out a hand a second before remembering that he hated being touched by strangers. A big germaphobe, always calculating the risk of what contact could mean for him. But before you had a chance to pull away, he reached out and took your hand, giving it a squeeze. You must have looked as shocked as you felt, but no one else noticed because everyone was staring at Reid with the same expression you were wearing. And to be honest, he looked just as surprised, if not more so.

Garcia made a breathy squeak sound, and somehow, that broke the tension of the moment, and you and Reid pulled away at the same time, both looking like you’d just been shocked by electricity. You stretched your hand out, staring at it, feeling on edge all over again, thinking about how good his hand felt in yours, and how good it would probably feel other pla-

“Well, I hope you all will be on your best behaviors, and treat Y/N like you would want to be treated as a newcomer in a team like ours, seeing what we see.” Hotch finally broke the silence. “Y/N, if you have any problems, come find myself or Rossi and we’ll help sort them all out.” Nodding, you looked at him and smiled, suddenly very embarrassed that your boss and your uncle just witnessed all of that. As profilers, they were going to come to so many conclusions, and each was more embarrassing than the last.

“Pretty boy and pretty girl, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-” You heard Derek sing-songing and he walked away, looking like the cat who got the cream. He was interrupted only when Emily punched him quite hard in the arm, looking at you with a wink and a smirk as she headed back to her desk as well. You tried to avoid looking at the genius again, but it was… difficult to say the least. You wanted to memorize everything about him. You wanted to pick his brain and listen to every fact he’d ever memorized. You wanted to experience him in all the ways your father had gotten to and more.

You watched as the team dissipated and then your eyebrows furrowed. “Rossi?” You asked, stopping him in his tracks as he was headed back to his office. “Where’s my desk?” He looked over his shoulder at you and you could tell he was holding back a shit eating grin as he pointed with his thumb to the desk directly across from Reid.

Fuck. You both looked at each other… or well, you looked at him, and he looked away like he’d been caught doing something and sat down, looking at his paperwork blankly. As you headed to your new desk, you’d give anything to know what was happening inside that massive brain of his.

Staring at your empty desk, you imagined what you could put there. Pictures of your family, pictures of your friends and your cats… One day you would put up a picture of your father… one day. For now, you grabbed your briefcase from your side and opened it up. You started unpacking some of your first day necessities; pens and notebooks, little toys and bright objects to remind yourself that there is good in the world. Your pile of books out; you always kept at least ten books on you at all times. One for every kind of mood you could be in- and at least three that you hadn’t read yet and were planning on.

As you prepped your desk, you could feel those eyes on you, analyzing your every move. You wanted to look up and see if you could find what he was figuring out within those eyes, but you tried to keep busy so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself again.

“Another book nerd, I see.” You heard that deep, caramelly sweet voice behind you. Derek sat on your desk right next to you and smiled a toothy smile at you. “Pretty girl likes to read, huh?”

Smiling at him, you raised a brow. “Reading is an exercise in empathy; an exercise in walking in someone else’s shoes for a while.” You were about to quote the originator, but someone else beat you to it.

“Malorie Blackman. British children’s literature writer and science fiction author.” Your head snapped to the person in front of you, who wasn’t looking at either of you.

Smiling at him, you nodded, and then turned to Morgan. “Yup, Malorie Blackman. Empathy is a huge part of the job, right? Reading allows us to experience a million different perspectives- which, as proflers, is necessary to catch the bad guys. I read so I can try to understand as many perspectives in this world as possible.”

Derek looked a little impressed, at least, and you couldn’t get a read on the gorgeous mop of brown hair on the desk across from you. Derek picked up one of the books still on your desk, not organized in your little library yet. “I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings?” He comments, and you catch Spencer’s eyes flick up at the title, curious.

“It’s my favorite. Not only do I love birds, but I’m a very big Maya Angelou fan. I’ve… always kind of felt like a bird stuck in a cage. Flitting about, trying to figure out what to do with my life and who I am... No book has ever made me feel more seen or understood as a human being.” You caught those big, interested eyes and you almost felt like you might have shared too much. You’ve always been an open book, but somehow, the way he was looking at you made you feel more vulnerable than you had… ever.

Derek nodded and smiled, putting the book down on your desk. “Well, lady genius, I’m going to try and get everyone to get together tonight for drinks, would you be interested in getting to know us in a more fun environment, or would you rather just go to the library with Pretty Boy over here and nerd out together?” He teased, making both of you blush.

“I-I don’t know. I’ve spent all of the years of my adulthood studying and sleeping and working to get here, so I haven’t really… spent a lot of time at bars?” Admitting that wasn’t the best feeling, but better to be honest than try to make up a lame excuse.

“Do I hear we have a light weight to peer pressure?” Derek said, loudly enough to catch the attention of everyone else. JJ and Emily looked enthused, and Rossi poked his head out of his office to chime in.

“Someone’s convincing Miss nose in a book Y/N to go out for drinks tonight? I’m in and I’m buying!” That was met with an uproarious approval from everyone on the team, with the exception of Reid, who was just looking at you, seemingly waiting on you to decide.

You bit your lip, noticing how Reid’s eyes fell to your lips in reaction. Well… if you could spend more time with the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen looking at you like that more… “Well… I guess. Sure. Sure, okay, I’m in.” You finally agreed, everyone whooping and hollering in celebration at you giving in. “Doctor Reid? What about you?” You looked at him through your eyelashes, and you could swear you saw his eyes dilate more.

“Oh, pretty boy barely ever comes out drinking with us anymore. He’s always holing himself up in his apartment- books from floor to ceiling, books in the fridge, freezer, on the bed, in his drawers and closets…” Derek teased, reaching over to Spencer and ruffling his hair.

Reid looked at Morgan and shoved his hand away and tried to fix his hair, rolling his eyes. “I do not have books in my freezer. That would be a terrible spot to put them, it would completely ruin the delicate spines.” You smiled at him in support, and he sat up a little straighter. “I… I’m in. For tonight.” He looked right at you when he said it, and you couldn't help but feel a little flutter in your stomach at the idea that he was going just to get to know you.

Morgan seemed to be thinking the same thing, and the face he gave Reid as he stood up and sauntered away said more than he needed to outloud. Once Reid looked away from Morgan, your eyes met and you both smiled again. “You’re a fan of Maya Angelou?” He asked, nodding towards your book.

“I am. I was always drawn to books that had birds on the covers, but then I actually read it and realized how beautiful it is on the inside.” You held the book in your hands gently. It was a mutual love, one your shared with your dad.

“The number of bird species in a person’s surroundings correlates directly to happiness levels.” He said, smiling at you like you were the most interesting thing in the world. The attention should have made you uncomfortable, but it just made you feel warm… important.

“Really?” You searched his eyes, wondering how much information was in that brain, stacked away for use when necessary. “That’s so interesting. I thought most people found birds annoying because of all the noise.”

He shook his head. “On the surface, they think it’s annoying, but once one becomes used to the sounds all around them, they find the background noise comforting. Most people find absolute silence much more disconcerting.”

“Absolute silence, for sure. But comfortable silence between two people who find solace in each other… I think that’s my favorite background noise.” He looked at you as you spoke, a small bit of hope flickering in both of your faces. You’d felt… alone, since your fathers spirit left this world months ago. It had been so hard to be at school and unable to go to his services, terrified of people finding out who your father was and that information altering your career. You hadn’t even applied to the bureau until you had your recommendation letters in order- you didn’t want Aaron giving you any false starts just because he knew. You liked to visit his grave once a month and tell him all the things you wrote in your letters to him. You carried around his private notebook as a reminder of the people in the world he saved, the people you wanted to save. You clutched your briefcase close, knowing you couldn’t put it in your desk with Reid watching you so closely. You’d find time to slip it in later, when no one was looking. With that eidetic memory, you knew he’d recognize it immediately, and you didn’t want his curious gaze to ruin your secret just yet. You wanted the team to form their own opinions of you before they knew... because the moment they knew, everything would change.

Next chapter

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 3 years

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I would love for you to talk more indepth about the montage. To me it feels so off and weird. Almost like a parody? So many scenes in it are "funny" moments that just don't make sense in the context of an emotional overview of the road so far... (Like all the scenes where Dean is eating, Donna with donut dust on her face, Sam getting hit during the game show.) I don't know. Isn't the montage supposed to make me nostalgic, teary-eyed? This one definitely doesn't do it for me!

Here I am! Yes, I absolutely agree. The montage is Weird(TM). It’s kind of a tone rollercoaster. It’s very full of funny/silly moments, with some serious moments smacked in. And it definitely looks like... there’s something about it.

For an easier consultation I will reference the gifs I have made of the montage sequence here.

[Gif 1] It starts pretty much like I’d expect a Supernatural goodbye montage to start. The two brothers meeting for the first time in the pilot, a reminder of their childhood with John, their banter still from the pilot, a couple moments of them driving in the car in the first seasons, Dean saving Lucas in 1x03 which is the first Dean-heavy episode and also an extremely symbolic moment for Dean’s entire journey - just think at how Lucas as a mirror was still relevent during the “drowning” Michael possession arc. Everything feels normal so far. We’re starting from the beginning! Now--

[Gif 2] Interesting and weird choices start here. Them pretending to be high school teachers from After School Special 4x13 - actually a very iconic moment for the fandom, remember that post of Dean in shorts from that episode that you had to reblog when it came on your dash? (Actually I’m not sure if I ever reblogged it lol.) Dean celebrating getting young again from The Curious Case of Dean Winchester 5x07 (and Jensen showing off his agility). The two of them showing their FBI badges to Jesse Turner’s biological mother in 5x06. Dean mowing the lawn of Mary’s house in the Djinn dream and immediately after Jess and Sam kissing also in the Djinn dream, from What Is And What Should Never Be 2x20. Then Dean after killing the witch when he was under the memory loss spell, in Regarding Dean 12x11. Sam happy when they celebrate Christmas in A Very Supernatural Christmas 3x08. Them being “lucky” under the effect of the rabbit’s foot in Bad Day At Black Rock 3x03. Sam also happy in Baby 11x04.

Again the present, then the montage starts again with the water-related ghost from Red Sky At Morning 3x06, a Bela episode, and then Bela herself from her first episode, 3x03 again.

What do these moments have in common? Not all of them, but for many of them I’d say reality being manipulated. The Djinn dream, the rabbit foot, Dean’s aging, the Antichrist... and it’s not over yet. Also, them pretending to be teachers, agents etc - not “real”.

[Gif 3] The tone suddenly gets more serious and relevant to current events: Chuck in The Monster at the End of This Book 4x18 (eh). Death in Two Minutes to Midnight 5x21 (the first appearance of Death, while now we’ve had Billie’s last and a very short-lived new one), and then two major moments from Lazarus Rising - Dean emerging from the grave and finding the handprint on his shoulder. Crowley’s first episode, Abandon All Hope 5x10. Zachariah’s death in Point Of No Return 5x18. Anna from The Song Remains The Same 5x13, where she is the antagonist having been brainwashed successfully by heaven. Michael burning and Sam jumping in the cage with Michael in 5x22, then another moment from 4x01 (the brothers hugging after reuniting). A moment from The French Mistake 6x15 (reality fuckery again!). Sam in Frontierland 6x18.

[Gif 4] Reality fuckery continues with Becky marrying Sam in 7x08. Funnily enough, this is the peak of Becky’s obsessive behavior which she went to therapy for and grew away of - it definitely emphasizes how far Becky has come. Donna’s first appeance in 9x13. That iconic shot of Dean in Bloodlust 2x03 because he’s pretty. Charlie’s first appearance in 7x20 while she dances to Walking On Sunshine (relevant?), Kevin’s first appearance in 7x21 when he becomes a prophet (lots of firsts). Abaddon’s first appearance in As Time Goes By 8x12. Then there’s the first appearance of the bunker, in the next episode, a couple shots in fact. Then more 4x01, Ruby pretending to mistake Dean for the pizza man (eh). Then more present...

This section seems to be mostly “first appearances” - including Ruby’s s4 meatsuit, i.e. Genevieve’s first appearance.

[Gif 5] We suddenly jump to more recent events with Kelly and Jack in heaven in Byzanthium 4x08. Jack’s iconic hello from 4x16 Don’t Go In The Woods. Dean teaching Jack how to drive in 14x07 Unhuman Nature. But then we suddenly go from Jack things to something completely different on the surface: two consecutive moments from Changing Channels 5x08, including the iconic Nutcracker scene, and Sully from Just My Imagination. We are actually back to the previous theme: reality fuckery. Gabriel’s episode was about placing them in “television shows”, Sully, while real, is literally a child’s “imaginary friend”. And then... a moment from the cartoon part of Scoobynatural! It doesn’t get more reality fuckery than that. Oh, wait! Charlie and Dorothy going to Oz in 9x04. That’s a pretty strong contender. Dean being hit in the face by a fairy in 6x09 - also about a realm Dean briefly went to. And, in case we felt like we hadn’t gotten enough 4x01 yet, Pamela’s first appearance (her last, albeit a hallucination, was about the whole “How come you only want what you can't have?” thing).

[Gif 6] We continue again with a mixture of firsts and weird things. Ellen’s first appearance in 2x02, Dean and Cas in 4x18 (we saw Chuck from that episode earlier), Jody’s first appearance in 5x15 Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. Rufus in 6x04 Weekend At Bobby’s (not his first but a good episode...), Garth in 9x12 Sharp Teeth (not his first but the first in which he is a werewolf and is married... relevant to recent lamp events??), Missouri in 1x09 (her first appearance).

Then Gabriel from 13x21 Beat The Devil (an episode where he plays a trick on Lucifer) and Rowena from the same scene (in fact a scene where they’re flirting). Then Eileen coming back to life in 15x06 and smiling at Sam. Jo flirting with Dean in 2x02 - her first appearance, again. Funnily enough, she had been introduced as a love interest, but ended up being repurposed as a sisterly figure. Tempted to say it’s relevant in an ironic way. Mary in 14x11 Damaged Goods, when Dean has a goodbye mother-son moment with her. Amara in 11x09 Oh Brother Where Art Thou when she was looking for her brother. Then Lucifer in two different vessels (12x07 Rock Never Dies and 12x21, when Lucifer regains control over the vessel).

Then Metatron doing the find a wife make babies speech to Cas in 8x23! Relevant??? Dun dun dun. Then Ketch for some reason (the first episode where we see his face, 12x08 LOTUS).

[Gif 7] Then Jo/Anael in 13x13, another first appearance. (I cropped these horribly I should have cut them when the present happens lol.)

Sandwiched between two shots from the present, Dean Sam Mary and John having dinner together in 14x13 Lebanon.

Then we start again with Dean riding Larry in 12x11, Dean and Cas dressed as cowboys in 13x06 (mini pattern here...), Asmodeus with the archangel blade in 13x13 (insert meta about Asmodeus in Christian lore here), and the really intriguing “Intermission” shot from the play in 10x05.

[Gif 8] To continue a certain pattern we might be tempted to see, Dean eating piecake from 14x06 Optimism (an episode about a distorted version of romantic love), then Dean eating noodles from 10x13 Halt & Catch Fire (the ghost is a husband that passes on thanks to his wife). Dean after his dentistry session with Garth in 15x10. Meg from 6x10 Caged Heat (the episode with the pizza man porn). Dean and Sam investigating in 4x12 Criss Angel Is a Douchebag (an episode about growing old poorly). Crowley in 10x16 Paint It Black (that episode). Dean playing that game in 14x17 Game Night (the episode Cas calls for God, and when Mary dies - the one playing the game was God...). Sam and Dean getting out of the car in 13x05 when they visit the traumatized kid (peak mourning Dean episode...). Then we go into reality fuckery territory again with 14x15 Peace of Mind, Sam under the psychic’s control and Cas disgruntled about it.

[Gif 9] Mick Davies from 12x16 Ladies Drink Free, when he learnt a lesson about monsters. Dean geeking out about the Hatchet Man - so heavy with mirror significances - in 14x04 Mint Condition. Belphegor - Jack’s dark mirror - in 15x03 The Rupture, the break-up episode. Donna’s first episode again, this time Dean and she eating donuts. Dean, Sam and Mary hugging in 12x22 after the confrontation in Mary’s head. Kaia in 13x09 The Bad Place, when Jack uses her to find the way to where Mary is (Mary pattern?). Claire&co rescuing Jody and Donna in 13x10 Wayward Sisters. Dean in 1944 dresses as a sailor in 11x14 The Vessel. Baby nyooming in 15x11 The Gamblers...

Aaand more Changing Channels, the genital herpes ad. It’s almost like reality fuckery is a theme. Followed by Sam drinking the anti-cold concoction at Garth’s in 15x10 and the two of them outside the monster fighting pit in the same episode. Then Cas, Dean, Sam and Jack on a video call with Ketch in 14x09 The Spear when they talk about the egg to trap Michael.

[Gif 10] We stay in the same episode with the four of them heading to Michael. Then the four of them celebrating Jack’s return to life (after Cas’ deal with the Empty). More present, and then the iconic “we’ve got work to do” [trunk closes] moment from the pilot.

So: some of these moments seem like genuine moments you’ll want to put in a montage, but there’s a weird predominance of characters smiling and looking happy or goofy. It’s kind of... not exactly representative of the show as a whole, you know? There are moments that fit as, you know, iconic steps in the story, but surprisingly few, and many moments you’d expect to be in a “final” montage are blatantly not there. Several moments with, let’s put it like this, suspicious meta connotations. Moments that, well, we don’t know what happens in the finale yet, but smell like they might be relevant to future developments. (Metatron’s speech to newly human Cas anyone?)

What really strikes me is the amount of moments connected to reality being manipulated or distorted in some way. Lots of Changing Channels, fantasy elements of various kinds (the Djinn dream, Scoobynatural, Oz, the imaginary friend Becky’s wedding to Sam, the fairy, ...), them acquiring luck (s3) or losing it (s15), and so on. It’s almost like the sequence is telling us something...

Thoughts?

#anon #my spn thoughts #spn meta #spn 15x19 #spn

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triple-hbk · 3 years

Text

FanFic: This Isn’t Everything You Are

Title: This Isn't Everything You Are Summary: Snapshots from a darker time. Notes: Title is from Snow Patrol's 'This Isn't Everything You Are' and all the bolded text are lyrics from the song. Extra Note: This fanfiction is based on the characters and not real people, although it mixes in some real events from the time, this is still purely a work of fiction. This is also a WIP.

You can't find the phone so you can call it off, but it might be for the best.

“You okay, man?”

Kevin turned where he was leaning against the wall in the hotel lobby, next to the phone. “Just left a message at home. Might talk to Vince tomorrow about staying.”

Hunter raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything.

“Say it?”

“Say what?” Hunter asked.

“Whatever it is you're thinking.”

“Man, it's your life, you gotta live with whatever you decide.”

Kevin put a hand to his head and rubbed at his eyes tiredly. It was the early hours of the morning and they should both be sleeping by now. “Why didn't he say any of that shit earlier?”

“Wasn't drunk enough?” Hunter said, darkly.

“I feel like a piece of shit. I wouldn't even be getting offered that deal if Shawn hadn't got me in the door,” Kevin said.

Hunter sighed. “Look, that might be true, but you still put the work in, you know what I'm saying? So Shawn's a little sour about it. He'll get over it. He's still talking to you, he's just mad, that's all. Once he starts defending the belt and he gets a chance to show he's the top guy, he'll be fine.”

“I don't know. It's the first time I really thought about it from his point of view and you know what? I'd hate my guts too if I were him.”

“He doesn't hate you,” Hunter assured.

Kev smirked. “Give it time.”

You can't walk away, anyway 'cause you've nowhere else to go. ~

Shawn was quiet.

In Hunter's experience, it was never a good sign. He was stewing over things and Shawn being in his head too much never ended well.

Hunter was grateful that he'd convinced Shawn not to go out drinking that night, which just meant he was getting wasted in his hotel room instead. At least he wouldn't need to get him to bed tonight.

Shawn was biting at his non-existent fingernails a nervous habit he had which he denied was anything to do with nerves and just that he liked to keep his nails short.

Kevin and Scott had been gone a few months now. Shawn wasn't far removed from his SummerSlam title defence against Vader and it hadn't gone very well. And it hadn't gone very well in a way that made it very obvious to everyone watching.

There'd been a shitstorm about it backstage. Hunter had heard the word unprofessional being used and someone else had said Shawn as the face of the company was a joke.

Hunter knew Shawn heard enough of what people thought. Heard the defensiveness as he dared anyone to put on a better match than him. But for the first time, he wasn't sure that Shawn actually believed what he was saying. His matches so far had been good, maybe great, but not as good as he wanted. He wanted it to be the best. The very best. But Shawn, crammed into an image that he hated, smiling, shaking fans hands- he knew part of him loved the cheers, but those jeers always sounded louder when they weren't supposed to be happening.

He couldn't really imagine a much worse situation for getting your big push with the title that you'd wanted for so long. Half your friends leave, most of the boys despise you, business is failing and everyone expects you to fix it.

It wouldn't be so bad if he couldn't see that it was eating up at Shawn and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

Truthfully, Hunter knew he and Shawn were on thin ice with Vince. Hunter was facing punishment and he could deal with that, but Vince had also stopped them riding together. It had been one of the great things about coming to the company was being in the car with the others, talking about business. Going over matches they'd just had and critiquing them. And now they couldn't. Hunter wondered if Vince knew what he'd taken from Shawn when he'd done that to him. He knew it wasn't a malicious thing, but it isolated his champion. The champion who was incredibly isolated at the best of times.

And now, Shawn didn't want to talk, at all.

“You want anything, Shawn?” Hunter asked. “I'm gonna get some food.”

“Bring me back another bottle,” he said, blankly.

He wanted to say no. But of course he didn't. “Of what?”

“Anything.”

Hunter took a moment to see what Shawn was already downing and made a mental note. He decided he'd grab a pizza as well that could at least soak up some of the booze and he knew Shawn liked pizza enough to find it hard to resist it if it were put in front of him. “I won't be long, okay?”

“'kay,” Shawn said absently.

He made his way down to the elevator and stepped inside. Once the door closed he let out a deep sigh. Being with Shawn, as much as he liked the guy, it was draining at times.

Sometimes, he wished Kevin had stayed behind. He wouldn't have to deal with all this by himself if he'd stayed. Shawn wouldn't feel so abandoned. He told Kevin that Shawn didn't hate him and Scott for leaving, and maybe not Scott so much, Shawn and he just weren't as close, but Kevin going hit him differently and it was obvious.

And just for a moment, he wished he had a way out, an escape for all this.

Just drop his responsibilities, ditch Shawn and just take care of himself. Walk from the job and get that contract with better money. Damn that, he wouldn't go back to the hole if he did get offered a better job, but he could stay here. Just, sit on the otherside of the locker room with the rest of the guys, against Shawn.

God, he felt bad even thinking about it. He could picture exactly how hurt Shawn would look if he did it. He'd screw a defiant look back on his face and tell Hunter to fuck himself, but he'd be hurt first. Plain and obvious for everyone to see.

Shawn was a pain in the ass, but he didn't deserve to be abandoned by his friends.

He didn't deserve to have the weight of the company on his shoulders while far too many others in the same company that paid their wages enjoyed and relished his failures.

What he did deserve though was someone beside him when he needed him. Even if he didn't want to talk. Even if it was getting him a bottle of Jack to drown his sorrows and making sure he didn't choke on his own puke.

Hunter couldn't be Kevin.

He needed to be what Shawn deserved to have though; the friend by his side.

#Shawn Michaels #Triple H #Kevin Nash #WWE #fanfic

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fandom-hoarder · 3 years

Note

So I got another HURT song for you. Falls Apart. It has MAJOR Sam vibes to it. Almost confessional.

Almost confessional -- anon, how right you are! 💔❤

This could be the soundtrack for a Sam montage. 🥺🥺🥺

I can't get gifs to load rn, so imagine:

I messed up again when I tried

Sam thinks of all the times he's failed Dean: couldn't save him from hell; couldn't even sell his soul for him; gave in to Ruby and got addicted to demon blood for vengeance...

You spend all your money then die

He remembers the ripping; the gush of red through pale flesh. Remembers Dean's screams; the way they haunted his dreams for months no matter how much he drank.

And, oh! By the way.

With all you did nothing has changed

Remembers the rush of power--of righteousness--as he strangled the life out of Alastair.

Dean's tears, remembering hell despite being free.

Lilith; Ruby; the blinding light as he brought Lucifer forth.

So lie like a waste by the side

As everything just falls apart

'Cause everything just fell apart for me

He misses Dean like a limb. Like a lung. Imagines a life ahead of him without Dean and can't breathe. Has a craving demon blood could never sate and his penance will be never having it again. Never seeing Dean again.

Doesn't want to feel but has to--has to.

Let hunters come for him. Nothing they can do could compare.

~*~

I cracked my head and broke my heart

And I don't feel the need to go on

Comparative: Sam- drunk and desperate for a demon deal; Sam- plagued by hell hallucinations, at the end of his rope, too tired to go on; Sam- driving, driving, blind to everything until he hits a dog; Sam- delirious with fever, purification burning through him body and soul, accepting his fate.

I was happier singing along the way

Insert: me crying over a montage of happy SamDean moments, plus the requisite heartbreaking "Wanted Dead or Alive" singalong scene

I had things, I needed to say

All the times Sam wanted to say: I love you; I miss you; I need you; don't leave me. When the words wouldn't leave his throat-

But now its like a swallowed tape

That holds up my face from inside

-so he grit his teeth in a smile and swallowed them down with his eggnog; his beer; his demon blood; his own blood, bubbling like acid up his sacrificial throat.

~*~

So woe is me

Betrayal: Ruby

Oh woe is me, yeah

Betrayal: Dissociation, Abandonment

Woe is me

Betrayal: Amelia

It all fell apart

Punishment: Replacement, Benny

~*~

And the hell of it is what we are

All the times they've been willing to sacrifice everything for each other: demon deals; zombie pacts; ending the Trials...

We finish and wish we could start again

Dean's image in his mind, begging him to stay. Death beside him, telling him to go. If he could do it again, he should say no. For Kevin he should say no.

For Dean he'd still say yes.

Our skin tears away as our memories fade with age

If only he'd accepted the truth of it before Dean took the Mark.

And we don't even know 'til its gone...

If only he'd known then what would happen.

But everything just fell apart

Before he had to pull his brother's bloody corpse home from this warehouse...

'Cause everything just falls apart for me

...and gather the ingredients to make the same old mistakes again.

~*~

I cracked my head and broke my

Demon!Dean montage

I cracked my head and broke my

MOC montage - the massacres; The Book of the Damned; "Close your eyes, Sammy."; Little brother puppy eyes of trust.

I cracked my head and broke my heart

The Darkness

So woe is me

Amara

It all falls apart you see

Soullessness

So woe is me

Amara's pull on Dean

It all fell apart

And he doesn't want to give up, but how can he fight against God's sister for his brother's attention; his heart; his soul?

I cracked my head and broke my

And maybe he doesn't have to fight because they're already his, but it doesn't matter, because he lets Dean go anyway.

I cracked my head and broke my

Lets them make his brother into a bomb and watches him walk away.

I cracked my head and broke my heart

And torture at the hands of humans could never compare--to Lucifer, or to the loss of Dean.

Everything just comes down

It falls around me cause, well...

Everything just falls a...

Except maybe...

So woe is me

When they show him Dean...

It all falls apart you see

...alive and well...

So woe is me

...make Sam hope...

It all fell apart

...to have his brother again.

But I cracked my head and broke my

But it's drugs.

I cracked my head and broke my

It's hallucination.

Everything just falls a...

He'll only see Dean again in Heaven.

#asks #spn playlist #sam winchester #don't look at me im having feelings #angst #sam whump #s3-s12 #long post

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glitterandgoldrush · 3 years

Note

Do you have any headcannons about Coopers childhood? Like before he moved from Mississippi, his friends in elementary school before and after he moved, his little league team, and his relationship with his mom and dad?

if the question has “cooper” the answer is yes.

Coop was the kind of kid where it was just always obvious that he was destined for great things

like before he ever even picked up a baseball, he was just so golden that everyone fell in love with him

he was the Ultimate “pleasure to have in class” kid

and he had heaps of friends. he was never like, leader of the pack, though he was definitely more beloved than anyone else. he always fell into a comfortable kind of side role, where he just was unaware of the fact that everyone loved him

his dad cycled him through a bunch of different sports, and cooper played them all, and was good at them. he was always naturally athletic, and his dad figured he would get into one of them some day

but then the first time he pitched a baseball in second grade? oh god. cooper fell in love instantly. it was like he finally understood oh. this is what i’m supposed to do.

he had such an innate talent at it, that the little league coach—who was just some other kid’s dad—fully freaked out. and so did coop’s dad.

cooper didn’t really understand. one second he’s learning to pitch, and the next second, his dad is telling him never to use his left arm for anything, and signing him up for all these extra practices

it’s a lot for a little kid. but it makes his dad happy, and he looks so, so proud that cooper is willing to do anything.

when lucas was born, and started to grow up, coop realised that his parents weren’t applying half as much pressure to him

it would’ve been easy to be bitter about it, but instead it just made cooper want to work harder, to prove that he was worthy of all the time his dad put in

it’s not to say that they didn’t have fun, of course they did. cooper’s dad loved him, he was just very fixated on the idea of what cooper should be, rather than what cooper is.

one of cooper’s best childhood memories is the first time his dad took him to a baseball game. they went to watch the mississippi braves play in the minors. they bought snacks, and sat in the stands, and his dad leant down and told him “you know one day that’s gonna be you, cooperstown” they played catch in the park afterward until the sun went down, and got take out, and were so full they couldn’t eat his mom’s dinner. instead of being mad like cooper had expected, she just smiled at him, and ruffled his hair, and told him to go have a bath and get to bed.

it’s a memory he kind of forgets about until the first time he takes Kris to a majors game, and he remembers it all so suddenly that he has to lock himself in the bathroom and try not to cry

cooper’s dad walks in one day and informs them they’re moving to california. it’s not a discussion, or even a suggestion. they pack up their bags and nonny holds his hand the entire flight there.

lucas is bitter about moving for a while, though he forgets pretty quickly. he’s still just a kid after all.

but his little league team is crushed, and cooper feels terrible for abandoning them. but he settles in to his new middle school very quickly

he joins the baseball team there, and meets all of these great guys who become his friends. this is when he meets Luis and the two of them just click. everyone will tell you that those two are platonic soulmates, that they swear luis knows what pitch cooper is going to throw before he even signals it

coops gets close with all the other boys, but he finds himself liking one of them a little too much for comfort, and as a result, kind of closes himself off from the possibility of more friendship with them

as we all know, he almost pitches them to the Little League World Series, making him some kind of legend in bayview

everyone in town is so proud of him, and he comes to bayview high as already more beloved than he was the years before.

his dad tells him that he shouldn’t’ve pitched the fastball that he gave a run up on, or they could’ve won.

his relationship with his parents is always…strained? he loves his dad and they’re very close, and like all the same things, but he puts so much pressure on him all the time, that cooper thinks that he doesn’t really know him at all. and his mom, though definitely lighter on the approach and does tell kevin to soften up a little, ultimately lets his dad run the show

#i could literally talk about this for hours but i’ll leave it there lol #one of us is lying #oouil #cooper clay

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ambersock · 3 years

Text

On the Edge of Forever

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Lucifer (Cassifer)

Summary: Sam has a plan to deal with the Darkness. Dean is definitely not going to like it.

Word Count: 4095

Warnings: Angst, Minor Sam Whump, Swearing, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues

A/N: Takes place in Season 11, after 11.10 The Devil in the Details. More notes at the end.

Now: Dean

Baby’s tires squeal in protest as Dean uses up a month of tread taking yet another turn too fast, her back-end fishtailing with only intermittent traction keeping her from spinning out. He’ll apologize to her later. Dean slams the accelerator down as he exits the curve and hits 90 on a straight section of the backwoods road on the outskirts of a town probably called Where The Fuck Are We We’re Lost. He starts to recognize landmarks from the last time he was here almost three years ago; he’s close. Not close enough.

He hurtles towards his destination, praying to who the hell knows what (because, really, there’s nothing out there that gives a shit, is there?), that he makes it in time to stop his idiot brother from doing an idiotic thing. Because he idiotically let his brother go to talk to fucking Lucifer, and of course Lucifer got inside his head. And here he is again, wracking his brain to figure out what the hell he can possibly say to convince Sam to abandon his insane plan.

Five days ago: Sam

Ever since the train wreck that was supposed to be a “safe” visit to the Cage to ask for Lucifer’s help against the Darkness, Sam has been replaying the Lucifer-guided tour of his worst fuck ups over and over on an endless loop, hoping that repetition and whiskey will numb him just a little more each time. For the hundredth time Sam curses his hubris, thinking he would even register on God’s radar, let alone that He would answer his prayers and send him visions. For the hundredth time he curses himself for being so naïve that he never suspected that the visions were just a lure from Lucifer to reel him in, break him down, and use him as a ride out of the Cage. And he hates himself for how close he had come to caving in. More than once.

On his third shot of whiskey and his umpteenth rerun through his trail of regrets, it hits Sam: within the chain of events of disaster begetting calamity begetting catastrophe, there is one moment in time where it could have easily all fallen apart. One small delay, one broken link, would cause a cascade failure and drastically alter everything that came after. He can’t help fantasizing, over and over, about all of the different little things could have happened that would have changed the entire outcome. If only.

On his fourth shot of whiskey, Sam remembers the sigil that allowed Henry Winchester to travel through time, and he huffs out a laugh.

On his fifth shot of whiskey, Sam staggers to the archive room and starts pulling books.

******

Sam continues to stare at the passages describing the Enochian time travel spell. The task he’s set himself is a flame that has both sustained him and consumed him for days on end. There’s a tree’s worth of paper covered in notes scattered across every horizontal surface, held down by mostly empty coffee mugs distributed randomly around the cramped space. His eyes are dry and red, an eyestrain headache thrums in the back of his skull, and his back is aching from being hunched over musty tomes for hours at a time attempting to deconstruct and reverse engineer the spell, to adapt it to his specific purpose. He’s not sure when he slept last, and Dean has started to give him those sideways I-know-something’s-eating-you looks which means he’s got limited time before Dean drags him out of the bunker “for his own good”. Sam forces himself to clear his mind of everything except the patterns of Enochian writing in front of him. He’s close, he thinks he’s found the right figures, he just needs to understand how to combine them with the original blood sigil. As Dean would say, he’s on the one-yard line and it’s time to push through it.

Hours later something finally clicks like a circuit closing in his brain, and suddenly the pattern of the lesser symbols within the larger whole makes sense to Sam. The solution is simple and elegant, and it’s so obvious to him now that he can’t believe he didn’t see it sooner. He adds the figures to a drawing of the original blood sigil and he knows, just knows, that this is going to work. He allows himself to luxuriate in the endorphin rush that accompanies success, the feeling that he’s about to score a win. For the first time since he threw himself into the Cage, he feels like he’s finally doing something right.

The only problem now is finding the right way to tell Dean. He’s going to need some time and distance, a head-start to get out in front of Dean’s inevitable knee-jerk reaction, because Dean is definitely not going to like this. Even if it was his idea.

Yesterday: Lucifer-wearing-Castiel

It was a stroke of luck, really, that Lucifer landed Castiel as a vessel instead of Sam as he had originally intended. Dean might have caught on to Lucifer-wearing-Sam, but it was just too easy to pass himself off as the besotted pet angel when Dean had caught him tearing through the records. A contrite little “I’m sorry Dean” coupled with a soulful look and Dean was sold. It is surprisingly so much easier to masquerade as someone else topside than it ever was in the Cage. He never could fully convince Sam that it was Dean who was carving out his organs.

Fun aside, there is now a possible monkey wrench in Lucifer’s carefully laid and, so far successful, bid for freedom. He stares at the disarray of notes decorated with Enochian symbols strewn all over the small bunker storage room by his erstwhile vessel, and can’t dismiss the growing possibility that everything is about to unravel.

“Oh Sammy-boy, what are you up to?”

His vessel has been mucking around with a time-travel sigil, and it seems like he’s pretty far along. Logically, Sam would be looking to prevent the release of the Darkness, which also certainly means undoing the events leading to the damage to the Cage that allowed Lucifer to escape. There are two lessons he files away for later: one, never speak Enochian in front of a chew toy; two, sending Sam Winchester on a guilt trip tends only results in a manic attempt on his part to fix things, which is exactly how Lucifer ended up back in the Cage the second time. He takes a moment to appreciate the irony of how tormenting Sam with his past regrets might now colossally backfire on him. He questions whether it was really worth it just to see Sam squirm like that once again, but then he can’t keep a smile of contentment from spreading across his face.

Yes, yes it was. Definitely worth it.

So now to the problem at hand: Lucifer-wearing-Castiel has other important, and definitely more amusing, things he needs to attend to, such as feeding Crowley his own intestines. But this potential threat to his plans is not something he can abide. He mulls over the merits of just disintegrating Sam—not very satisfying, but efficient—when he feels a tickle from a small, dark corner of his consciousness. He sighs in irritation.

“What do you want, Castiel?”

I believe I can help.

“Yeah, not really buying that.”

Give me five minutes, and I promise that Sam will no longer be of concern.

Lucifer is loath to cede control, but at the same time his curiosity is piqued. He can always return to Plan Disintegrate later. Or maybe he’ll think of something more entertaining while he’s waiting.

“Five minutes.”

Castiel takes out his phone and picks Dean out of his contacts. As Dean picks up, Castiel reaches for the page holding the altered blood sigil.

“Dean… I’m afraid your brother is planning to do something very foolish…”

Earlier: Dean

“You’re going to what?”

“I’m going to fix this. Fix the Darkness. I figured out a way to take Abaddon off the board in the past. No Abaddon, no Mark of Cain. No Mark, the Darkness stays locked up. Kevin lives. Charlie lives. It’s a no-brainer.”

Dean is standing in the room where Sam had been doing his clandestine research, now devoid of the notes that Castiel had described. After 17 frantic, unanswered calls to Sam, who had gone missing all night, Sam has finally called back and Dean knows that something’s seriously off. He sounds eerily upbeat, which immediately sets off Dean’s alarm bells given how shaken and preoccupied he had been after coming back from the near-disastrous visit to the virtual Cage. Whatever Sam’s planning, Dean is pretty sure he’s not going to like it, and Sam’s not exactly forthcoming with details. Either Dean needs to get Sam to spill, or he at least needs to get a trace on his phone and figure out where he is.

“Aren’t you the one who always says not to screw with time? Mothra Effect, or whatever? And if you go back and meet yourself, won’t the universe, like, explode or something?”

“Butterfly Effect. And I’m not going back, I’m sending something back. Seriously, Dean, do you really think I can possibly screw up the time line any worse than The End of Everything?”

Dean doesn’t have a good response to that, so he switches the topic to keep Sam talking. “So how, exactly, are you gonna take Abaddon out without the Mark and the First Blade? You planning to send her one of your documentary podcasts and bore her to death?”

There’s a huff of exasperation on the other end and Dean swears he can hear Sam roll his eyes. “Hilarious. Look, I’ve found another way.”

“Then tell me where you are and I’ll come help.”

Silence.

Then, “Don’t worry Dean, I’ve got this. It’s an easy spell. You should keep researching the Darkness in case this doesn’t work.”

Sam being evasive confirms that Dean has good reason to be suspicious about this plan, but the trace is still going and Dean plays for more time.

“Don’t worry? Might as well tell me not to breathe. Let me guess: you’re sending a bomb back to blow Abaddon to fucking bits so we can’t sew her head back on.”

“…Huh. Interesting idea, but there’s too much risk that I’d end up blowing up one of us. Anyway, it’s a blood spell. Whatever goes back has to be infused with DNA so that it can latch onto the same DNA. I’m just sending some cloth back. Like I said, it’s simple.”

Dean gives in to his growing irritation at Sam’s caginess and decides to go for the direct assault.

“Sam. What aren’t you telling me?” Dean already has his suspicions of what Sam isn’t telling him; there’s only one way he can think of that takes Abaddon out of play and saves Kevin. He’s hoping he’s wrong. He’s also dying to know how time travelling cloth comes into this.

“Don’t get mad.”

“Sam.”

“Look, just promise you’ll hear me out, okay?”

“SAM.”

Dean can hear Sam take a breath, like he’s getting ready to plunge into deep water. “…I’m going to make sure I finish the third Trial.”

There it is. Damn it.

“LIKE HELL YOU ARE.”

Click.

Sam disconnects before the trace finishes, but Dean doesn’t need the trace to know where to find him. He hauls ass to the garage where the Impala is waiting.

Now: Dean

Dean stands on the brake and Baby skids to a halt next to the car Sam had appropriated, sitting in front of the old, decrepit church. It’s exactly as he remembered it last, like it’s been frozen in time waiting for their return. Overgrown bushes still cling to the rotting siding, and stained glass still litters the ground from the blown-out side window. The only thing missing is the shower of angelic fireballs cascading toward the earth with Sam dying by his side, an image that perversely reminds him of watching fireworks in a field with next to his little brother.

The last time they were here, Sam was half out of his mind with fever and remorse, and Dean’s desperate I’m-Your-Big-Brother-You-Have-To-Do-What-I-Say tone had actually, thankfully, gotten through to him and Sam had backed down. He can’t believe that he has to talk Sam down from the same fucking ledge again, only it’s worse this time because Sam is laser focused on his mission to fix the problem. This time, emotional pleas and yelling and demanding aren’t going to work. This time, so help him, the only way Dean will be able to talk Sam out of this will be to throw logic at him.

Dean launches himself out of the Impala and bursts through the doors of the church to see Sam sitting, chin in hand, in the chair that once held a nearly human King of Hell. A crimson stain is spreading on a strip of cloth that he’s holding to his arm, and there is a bowl of already-mixed spell ingredients on the floor in front of him. Sam has clearly been waiting for Dean.

“Well, that was quick.”

Dean, bent over huffing, heart still pounding from breakneck drive here, is seriously tempted to punch Sam.

Before Dean can take a deep enough breath to start in on forcefully explaining to Sam how idiotic this is, Sam launches into his sales pitch. “Look Dean, I know what you’re going to say, but just listen. I’m not throwing my life away on some impulsive, reckless act. I need you to understand that, that’s why I waited for you. I’ve had days to think this through. This endless cycle of crossing lines we’ve got no business crossing, of throwing away the world to save each other, this is where it all started, and I can stop it before it starts.”

“Damn it Sam, are you even capable of coming up with a plan where you don’t die? Closing up Hell wasn’t worth your life then, and it’s not worth it now—”

“Isn’t it though? I mean, my insides were going to be deep fried whether or not I finished it. You were right when you said you shouldn’t have pulled me back. Look at everything that came after—Kevin, you becoming a demon, and—and the things that I had to do to get you back, to remove the Mark… getting Charlie killed… and how many people died when the Darkness infected that town? I mean, how can you tell me that saving all of them isn’t worth it?”

Dean feels a knot growing in his stomach because he knows damned well that it wasn’t Lucifer who got into Sam’s head. It was the Mark that told Sam that he should have been on the pyre instead of Charlie. It was the Mark that told Sam he should have died finishing the Trials. It was the Mark that told Sam that he was evil. It had said all of this to Sam for his crime of saving Dean from an eternity of suffering.

But it was Dean who never apologized, never tried to set things right.

They have both said and done abhorrent things to each other while under the control of some entity or force, and there has always been an unspoken understanding between them that they don’t take it personally. Mostly. Sometimes. Okay, Dean usually gets mad, leaving Sam to trail after him afterwards apologizing profusely. But Sam always brushes these incidents aside and moves on without a word. Hell, the first thing Sam had done after the hammer episode was to go out and get Dean a double bacon cheeseburger with extra onions and three different pies.

But this… this has really gotten to Sam. He didn’t just dismiss it like he did when they were under the influence of the Siren. He buried it instead and let it set down roots and infest every corner of his brain. And when Sam gets like this—like after he set Lucifer free, like after he found out what he had done while he was soulless—he just can’t let it go until he does something to atone for it. This is ironically what Dean both most admires and most infuriates him about his little brother: his unwavering determination to make things right and his absolute faith in their ability to do so. More than once he has carried Dean along in his wake by sheer willpower when all Dean wanted to do is crawl into a bottle. But these crusades never end well for Sam, and the one thing that Dean will never be able to protect Sam from is himself.

Sam crosses over to the oversized wooden double doors at the entrance, already adorned with the augmented blood sigil. He winds the cloth through both handles and ties it securely as blood continues to ooze from the cut on his forearm. Dean gets what Sam is doing now. He’s using the spell to send the blood-infused cloth back in time, homing in on his own blood in the past, to hold the doors shut back then. Dean had barely gotten to Sam in time to stop him from curing Crowley, and if it had taken him just a few more seconds to push through the door it would have been over. Will have been over.

“Kah-nee-lah. Poo-goh.”

The sigil on the door starts to glow dimly, and the reality that This Is Happening hits Dean like cold water in the face. He had every intention of trying to talk Sam out of this with a reasonable, adult discussion, because he knows damned well that Sam doesn’t respond to orders being yelled at him. It all flies out the window at that moment and he’s barking at Sam like a drill sergeant, because if he doesn’t, he’d be breaking down instead. He grabs Sam’s arm and spins him around.

“What the hell, Sam? You know that nothing I said while I had that thing on my arm counts. You can’t seriously believe that I meant any of—”

Sam cuts him off, his gaze intense, his voice fervent. “It’s true, Dean, what you said. Mark or not, it’s the truth. I chose to cross those lines; I chose to let the Darkness out. You told me not to, and I did it anyway. So this is me stepping up and taking responsibility. If I’ve got a chance to undo all of this, I have to take it. And right now, it’s the only play we’ve got.”

Angry words propelled by desperation shoot out of Dean before he can stop them. “Yeah, that’s exactly what you said about your visions of the Cage, and how did that work out for you?”

Sam visibly flinches and pulls away from Dean as his expression hardens. “Kah-nee-lah. Poo-goh.”

The sigil blazes.

This is not at all what Dean intended. He came here to talk Sam back from the edge, and instead he’s pushing him toward it. Dean swallows his anger and it tastes like acid going down, and all that remains is panic.

“Sam, just stop. I don’t care what came out of my mouth when I had the Mark, it’s all bullshit. Sam, you don’t need to do this—”

“Yeah, Dean, I really do. I wasn’t strong enough to make the right choice then, but I can do it now.”

Dean flounders for whatever magic words he needs to get through to Sam and comes up empty. He does the only thing he can think of to shock some sense into him or, preferably, to knock him cold so that he shuts the fuck up and can’t finish the spell. Dean’s fist connects with Sam’s jaw, propelling him backwards. Sam goes down, sprawling on the floor, but he’s not out. He sits up, hand to jaw, and Dean expects to see shock or anger on Sam's face, but all he sees is compassion. And Dean knows that he’s lost.

“Sammy, don’t—"

“Kah-nee-lah. Poo-goh.”

A blinding light envelops the cloth holding the doors shut.

Yesterday: Lucifer-wearing-Castiel

Castiel ends the call after warning Dean about Sam’s intentions. He takes a marker to one of the added symbols and alters it slightly. He freezes as Lucifer gets back in the driver’s seat.

Lucifer asks suspiciously, “And what exactly are you doing with this, Castiel?”

I’m just disrupting the sigil. The change I made will prevent the spell from accounting for the current position of the Earth relative to its position within the—

“Summarize, Poindexter.”

With the change I’ve made, whatever object Sam is sending back will end up in space. Sam will think that his alteration failed, and he won’t interfere with your plans. You would know if I was lying.

“So… I’m trying to understand this. You’re helping me by sabotaging Sam’s work… why, exactly?”

To eliminate your motivation to kill my friend.

Lucifer considers Castiel’s response. “Huh. We’ll see.”

I can still expel you.

“Now Castiel, we both know that’s an empty threat.”

Castiel is silent for a moment. Then:

It’s a small world after all, it’s a small world—

“Alright, alright. Just kidding. Grow a sense of humor.”

Now: Dean

The cloth binding the door handles is gone, but as far as Dean can tell, nothing else has changed. Sam is still on the floor, a stunned expression on his face that would be comical under any other circumstances, and all Dean can think is thank fucking God, and he starts to wonder if maybe there isn’t something out there intervening on his behalf after all.

“I don’t… it should have… it didn’t work.” Sam looks around in dazed confusion for a moment before pushing himself to his knees, and he looks up at Dean, eyes filled with defeat. Dean can’t stop the memory from superimposing itself in his mind of Sam kneeling in front of him, resigned in his acceptance of Dean’s judgment of him, waiting for the scythe to swing.

“I’m sorry...” Sam apologizes for not being dead.

Dean thinks he’s going to be sick.

He drops to Sam’s level and doesn’t know whether to shake him or maybe hit him again. He pulls Sam to himself instead and holds onto him like he’s going to blink out of existence if he lets go. Sam doesn’t resist, but he doesn’t respond.

Dean knows that there is something that Sam needs to hear, something he should have said weeks ago. Dean hasn’t been able to tell him, because it’s selfish and the good guys aren’t supposed to be selfish. The good guys are supposed to put the rest of the world first, and happily throw themselves into oblivion for “the greater good”. He keeps his grip on Sam because he doesn’t want to see Sam’s reaction to what he’s about to say; he’s not sure what Sam will think of him afterwards.

“What you said… after you risked the world for me, when you said that you’d do it again in a second…”

Sam tenses in his arms, and Dean takes a breath.

“Sammy, that wasn’t evil. That was the best fucking moment of my life.”

The statement hangs there for a few heartbeats. Then Sam relaxes, lets his chin drop to Dean’s shoulder, and tentatively folds his arms around him. Dean feels him starting to shake.

“I wanted to—I couldn’t save them.” Sam’s words fall out of him between hitched breaths.

“I know Sammy.”

“It should have been me up there instead of—”

“Don’t.”

All of the mourning that Dean hadn’t allowed Sam to express as they watched Charlie’s body burn, all of the grief that Sam has held bottled up ever since pours out of him then, and Sam clings to Dean like a drowning man to a life preserver. He doesn’t know how long they stay there. His knees are aching and his legs are falling asleep but he doesn’t care because Sam is still here and he’s alive. He waits until the tremors slow and finally stop, then slowly pulls back.

“Hey, you don’t get to put this all on yourself. I’m the one who took the Mark without reading the warning label. We’re in this together. We’ll figure this out, both of us.”

Sam just nods numbly.

“Now let’s get out of here before we hit menopause.”

Sam rewards Dean with an expelled almost-laugh and a flicker of an almost-smile, and Dean chooses to count that as a win.

~~~~~~~~~~

More Notes:

I have this nagging need to address all of the drama from 10.23 Brother's Keeper that the writers just decided to drop on the floor.

The title is named after the ST:TOS The City on the Edge of Forever. The theme of the story, at least from the original script, is that it is possible to love someone so much that you would throw away your whole universe for them. I can't help but notice the parallel to SPN.

This is exactly what Dean wants from Sam throughout seasons 8 and 9, and when Sam does it in season 10, Dean calls him evil for it. Sam just can't fucking win.

#spn fic #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #sam winchester #dean winchester #cassifer

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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years

Text

Light My Fire - CH13

Pairing: CEO!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: She always thought her boss was an ill-tempered man, but when he presents her with a proposition she can’t quite deny, she gets to know him better. It’s not bad, right? Because all she has to do is being fake married to him for six months, sounds do-able, right? Right.

Warnings: Flangst

WC: 2888

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons <3

SERIES MATSTERLIST

BECOME A PATRON ~ BUY ME A COFFEE

They arrive at a restaurant where Dean often frequents for business dinners. Y/N has pulled out her nicest dress for the occasion. She realizes that she definitely needs to do some serious shopping if she wants to help Dean keep up the facade.

Dean takes her hand in his as they make their way from the car to the front of the restaurant. When they step in, the maître d’ comes surging forward, having recognized Dean.

The tall brunette woman is Lisa, and Y/N knows her too, since her reservation for Dean always goes through Lisa. She realizes, though, that Lisa’s also the woman Amara was talking about who Dean took to an event right before her and Dean’s supposedly wedding day.

“Hey Dean,” Lisa’s smile grows wider, it’s bright, she shows off her perfect teeth.

“Lisa,” Dean greets her with a courtesy nod.

“Oh, hey, Y/N,” It’s only now that Lisa notices her.

Y/N nods, “Hey, Lisa,”

“How are you doing, Dean? Haven’t seen you for two weeks. I already missed you!” Lisa turns her attention completely to Dean and ignores Y/N’s existence.

Dean lets go of Y/N’s hand and she thinks that he’s abandoning her. But then she feels his arm around her back, his hand around her waist as he pulls her closer to him, “Yeah, been busy, wedding and all,” He places a kiss on Y/N’s temple.

Lisa’s eyes widen and she looks at Y/N, her gaze resting on Y/N fingers with the diamond ring and wedding band.

“Oh,” Lisa breathes out and Y/N can see that the woman lost her balance for a second. She’s quick to compose herself, though.

“We’re meeting Mr. Shurley,” Dean says and Lisa types something in on her computer.

She’s quick to look up again, “Your party’s already here, follow me, please.” There’s a smile on Lisa’s face but it isn’t for Y/N’s eyes to see. She notices it nonetheless.

If Dean notices Lisa’s hostility against her, he doesn't let on, carrying an easy conversation while they are walking to the back of the restaurant.

When they arrive, Chuck smiles at them and greets them. There’s a blonde woman with Chuck who he introduces as his wife, Naomi.

Dean pulls out a chair for her before he sits down himself. Lisa brings out the menu and hands it to them, before she leans down and whispers something into Dean’s ear. Dean’s laughing at Lisa’s remark.

Y/N pretends not to notice. She also thinks that it shouldn’t bother her— but it does.

Chuck and Naomi are quick to strike up a conversation with Dean. Apparently Naomi is the CIO of Chuck’s company so the three of them have plenty to talk about. She feels a little left out, so she pretends to look at the menu, but her appetite is gone.

Lisa appears with the wine Chuck ordered before, and she lingers a little longer around Dean. There’s some weird feelings in Y/N’s stomach and really, all she wants to do is to just stand up and leave. She doesn’t know why she needs to be here in the first place. They’re leaving for Jamaica tomorrow and she should be packing. Or... go drinking. Or… the fuck does she know!

All she knows is that Lisa usually works the front of the restaurant, but she must have switched with another waitress because that woman is swarming about their table. When they all clink their glasses, Y/N’s quick to empty hers in one go. She doesn’t really care about etiquette anymore.

Chuck and Naomi are talking and Dean sends Y/N a side eye when she signals for Lisa to refill her glass. He clears his throat but tries to follow what Chuck says. She likes Chuck. Because Chuck carries on as if nothing’s happening. As if she’s not having a silent meltdown right in front of Chuck’s fucking eyes.

Y/N empties her glass again, winks for Lisa to refill it a third time. If Lisa thinks it’s weird that Y/N’s already on her third glass while the others have barely taken a sip, she doesn’t say anything. Why should she. She’s here to work — and flirt with her fake husband. It might come in handy for Lisa if Y/N’s drunk.

Oh my god, she’s jealous. She’s jealous when she shouldn’t fucking be.

“Baby, don’t you think you should maybe eat something first?” Dean says, his voice rolls smoothly above the chatter around them.

Baby.

Ugh.

How dare he use it now.

Don’t you think that it’s none of your fucking business? Is what she thinks, but doesn’t say.

Instead, she stands up, and sends a smile towards Chuck and Naomi, “Please excuse me,” She sends them a courtesy nod, for good measure, and walks out to find the bathroom.

It’s a big restaurant, alright, the bathroom is in the basement and she needs to take the stairs. She clutches to the railings, and descends slowly, doesn’t want to miss a step that would most probably send her tumbling down.

“Y/N!”

Oh, no.

Dean.

He’s quick by her side and weaves his arms around her to walk back up the stairs with her again. Damn his fucking long legs.

“What are you doing?” She hisses in a low voice, and adds, “I need to pee!”

“No, you don’t,” Dean whispers while he grins and nods at a couple in passing who he probably knows.

“How do you know?”

“You just went before we left,”

Ugh. She hates that he knew about her plan to stay in the bathroom long enough to look at some cute pet videos on youtube. She needs a distraction so badly.

Dean guides her to the front and out of the restaurant but that’s apparently not enough because he walks her around the corner into an alley too. She’s so close to punching him in the crotch and running away, that’s how upset she really is. But what upsets her more is that she doesn’t exactly know what upsets her and that is really upsetting.

No, that’s not true, either. She knows why she’s upset.

All her life, people made her feel like second best. It has always been like that. And her last relationship wasn’t any better. It wasn’t something impressive, since it was only a two months thing but she wonders if Dean knows about it. Wonders, if he knows about how Kevin cheated on her after only the first month and made her out to be the problem. Made her out to be the reason why he cheated and told her that’s her own fucking fault that he did. Made her out to not be worth Kevin's time or effort. It was too long ago, but she still remembers it as if it was yesterday. She remembers Kevin asking her to be his wife after only two weeks, and she foolishly said yes because she was naïve and way too young. Too young to know better, but now she does, and she has sworn to herself to not let anyone treat her like second best anymore, and also not to fall in love so fast, for that matter. Yet, here she is, fake married to a rich dude who probably won’t see her worth either. What’s the phrase? Fool me twice, shame on me? Yeah, it is all probably on her.

When they are out of sight and earshot, Dean lets go of her and paces around. He’s clearly distressed.

Good. Welcome to her fucking world.

He stops his pacing to thread a hand through his hair, “Can you tell me what that was all about? What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” She says. It came out more calmly than she thought it would. Feels a little proud of herself.

Dean snorts, “Oh, don’t give me that, alright? When women say nothing it means that everything’s wrong!”

Oh, look. He learned something through the years.

She crosses her arms over her chest, “Go in, Dean, find an excuse for me. I want to go home,”

There’s no answer, just a glare, so she goes on, “Oh, and while you’re at it, maybe Lisa can take my place? I’m sure she’d be happy to.”

There’s a laugh that rumbles out of Dean’s mouth. It comes from deep in his chest, and she stares at him, waits until the moment is over. He walks closer to stand just right in front of her, “Is that what it’s all about? You’re upset about Lisa?

You mean, if I’m upset that Lisa makes her think that she was there first? Yeah. You bet’cha. You mean, if I’m upset that I’m falling for you? Hell yes!

She bites her lips before she speaks, “No,” Her gaze is trained downwards.

“You’re a terrible liar, you know that? Always have been.” Dean stares at her. She can’t really see it but she can fucking feel it. His gazes are always so intense. And how dare he think that she’s a terrible liar? Which is sadly true, but still...

“What does it matter?” She sighs, and really, she doesn’t even know why she’s still here.

“Your wellbeing matters, alright? To know that you’re okay, it matters to me. So, what the fuck is wrong?” He isn’t necessarily loud, just really stating his point.

She rolls her eyes and sighs, “I don’t get it, Dean. I just don’t get why I have to be here. I don’t understand why you wanted me in the first place,”

Dean’s hand reaches out, fingers skimming over her cheek, “You’re my wife,”

“That’s the thing? Why me, Dean? Wouldn’t someone else be the better choice? Maybe Lisa, because she’s the one you took out a couple of days before we were supposedly married? She would have been the better cover for you.”

“You’re jealous,” There’s a smirk on his face. How dare he smirk now.

“‘M not,”

“Sure,”

“Amara was right,” She whispers, still not looking at him, “I look like an idiot because you dated before we married. What girlfriend would let her boyfriend go out to an event with someone else? It makes me look fucking stupid!”

“What do you want me to say? You want me to tell you that I’m sorry I took a waitress out on a date when we weren’t even a thing?”

Well, they are still not a fucking thing now, are they? Of course she has no place to be upset. She fucking knows that! They weren’t anything but boss and employee.

“I don’t know! I just—” She lets out a frustrating sound that comes out of the depths of her throat.

Dean chuckles.

It makes her madder.

He comes closer, places a hand on the back of her neck and draws her closer, “I picked you, alright? And I told you already how happy I am that it’s you. I took Lisa out to a freaking award show, yeah. But that’s in the past. I don’t think she was by my side after we’ve taken the pictures at all. She went off to meet celebrities.”

“Did you fuck her?”

Why is she asking questions when she really doesn’t want to know the answer?

Dean frowns but it’s a playful frown, a smirk hiding at the corner of his lips, “Does that matter?”

“It doesn’t,” She sighs, because it really doesn’t, but still, “It’s just— She’s looking at me with eyes that says that she had you first and shows no respect whatsoever towards your wife.” She pouts.

“You’re cute,” Dean chuckles, “Look at me,” She reluctantly lifts her face and he smiles at her before he kisses her swiftly. He parts after, leaving his forehead on hers, “I didn’t fuck her, if you really want to know. And about that other thing, let’s go in and show her what she’s missing out on, huh?”

She doesn’t answer him, still debates with herself if she should go back in at all, because they’ve been out here for too long already and the others will look at her strangely.

“Please?” Dean says, tilts her chin up with his hand and kisses her again.

Damn him. He knows that it's hard for her to resist his kisses.

“What did you tell Chuck where I went?”

Dean takes her question as a cue that it’s okay for him to walk her back, his hand is firm around her waist, “Told them you were stressed,”

“Why?”

“Because we have a pregnancy scare and we don’t want kids. Told them that you’re anxiously waiting on your period to arrive.”

“Oh, no,”

“Hey, just play along,” Dean shrugs and pulls her close to place a kiss on her temple before they walk into the restaurant again.

Dean’s true to his words, he constantly kisses her, nuzzles his nose against her cheek, touches her thighs, her hands, leans in to whisper into her ear. He showers her with affection, especially when Lisa is close to their table. And apparently it works because by the time their main course arrives, Lisa went back to the front of the restaurant.

“So Y/N, have you met my sister today?” Chuck asks and Naomi visibly rolls her eyes. Apparently, nobody likes Amara.

Her cheeks start to burn up. How can she tell that she hasn’t met Amara because she sucked Dean’s dick under his desk?

“She hasn’t,” Dean answers for her, and she’s thankful for that, “She was in a meeting.”

“Good for you,” Chuck smiles, “She can be a real bitch,”

Hah. She has to bite back a snort because that’s clearly an understatement.

“I think we’ve established that,” Dean says.

“My team is looking into leads that could help your annulment case,” Chuck smiles, “Which in turn would help my case,”

“Thanks, man,” Dean says and leans back, his arm goes behind her chair, fingertips stroking at her back, “I don’t fucking remember a thing,”

It’s the first time she hears about what happened. She didn’t dare ask before because it didn’t seem relevant to her.

Chuck chuckles lightly, “It is weird, you’re right. We had two tumblers of whiskey, nothing more. I remember saying goodbye to you and you walked to the other side of the hotel because our rooms were in different wings.”

“I don’t remember anything after that,” Dean rubs at his scruff with his free hand, “She must have put something in my drink.”

“We’re looking into it. Our company doesn’t condone it and she would drop out immediately.” Chuck says, his voice is reassuring and calm.

Dean nods and bites on his bottom lip, “Yeah, I hope you’re able to find something,”

“Let us talk about something that will lift up our spirit, why don’t we?” Chuck grins, and looks over to Naomi who agrees with him. He turns back to them, “You’re going on honeymoon is that right?”

Dean’s face lights up and she tries to match his grin.

“Yeah,�� He says, his hands play with her hair on her back, “We’re off to Jamaica tomorrow,”

“Who’s going to Jamaica?”

A shrill voice pierces the room. It makes all the hair on her back stand up.

“Oh, no!” Chuck rolls his eyes visibly and Naomi bites on her lips.

Amara struts over, dressed to the nines. It makes Y/N look like a bag of trash next to her.

“Yeah, we’re off,” Dean stands up, and holds out his hand for Y/N to take, “Chuck,” Dean nods, “Naomi,” another nod, “It’s late and we should get going. We still have to pack.”

Chuck nods back, understanding perfectly why they need to leave right now.

“See you,” Chuck says, and adds, “And I’ll get back to you on that... thing.”

“Would love to hear from you, man,” Dean says, and then he pulls her with him ignoring Amara who’s standing there like she’s the only thing that matters when all they did was to ignore her.

Back at Dean’s place, she walks straight to her room with Dean on her heels.

When she opens the door, Dean holds her back by her hand, “Hey,”

She stops to turn around.

He steps closer, his fingers slip underneath her chin to tilt her face up, “What can I do to get you into my bed tonight, huh?”

Y/N doesn’t answer straight away so he leans in, kisses her, soft and tender, his tongue brushing teasingly over her lips. When he breaks it off, she has to smile, “Well, that was pretty convincing, but no,”

Dean raises his eyebrows, “No?”

“Yeah, it’s just— so many things happened today and I have to process that,” She says, and adds, “Alone,”

“Okay, that’s fair,”

“And I’m still upset with you,”

“You are?” Dean frowns.

“Yeah,” She says but grins because Dean’s frowning some more, creases etched deep into his forehead, “I just need some alone time to gather my thoughts and I have to pack,” She honestly doesn’t know why she has to give him an explanation. It’s not like she owes him one.

“Okay,” Dean says, he places a kiss on her forehead, leaves his lips there, “Be ready at 5am, alright?”

“Ugh, of course you’d take an early flight.”

He has to chuckle at that.

CH14

#light my fire #dean winchester #ceo!dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #nathalie writes

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hopelikethemoon · 4 years

Text

Birthday Interruptions (Javier x Reader) {MTMF} [smut]

Title: Birthday Interruptions Rating: Explicit Length: 1700 Warnings: Smut (slightly rough with sub/dom undertones I guess) Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set August 27th 1995. Summary: It’s Reader’s birthday.

@grapemama@seawhisperer@huliabitch@beccaplaying@rogrsnbarnes@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns@gooddaykate@livasaurasrex@ham4arrow@plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn@lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut@snivellusim@lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts@synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper@awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie@swhiskeys@lady-tano @u-wakatoshii @space-floozy@cable-kenobi @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes@findhimfives@pedrosdoll@frietiemeloen@arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour@heather-lynn@domino-oh-damn@cyarikaaa@ahopelessromanticwritersworld @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl@yabby-girl@xqueenofthecraziesx@punkass-potato@coredrive@pascalesque@theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar@sabinemorans@buckstaposition@holkaskrosnou@yespolkadotkitty@fleetwoodmactshirt @seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie@jaime1110@katlikeme

“Happy birthday,” Javier whispered as he snaked his arm around your waist, curling against you. You sank back against him, your eyes still closed.

It was hot as hell in Florida — but you still chased the warmth that came from him beneath the covers. “Is that what today is?” You questioned teasingly, taking ahold of his hand and interlacing your fingers with his. “You better not have gotten me anything.”

He chuckled and pressed his lips against the crook of your neck, “Just the movies you asked for.”

“I can’t wait to make you watch Robin Hood six hundred times today.” You laughed as you reached behind you and played with his hair. “Kevin Costner at his finest.”

Javier huffed softly, “Maybe the movie was the wrong choice.”

“Considering you convinced me to give you something to buy me…” You ran your fingers down the back of his neck. “You did it to yourself, babe.”

He pressed a line of kisses along your shoulder, “Every year I tell you not to get me something and you always do.”

“And?” You tugged at his hair, before rolling onto your back so you could look at him. “I skipped your first birthday because it was like two weeks after we started this,” You gestured between the two of you. “The following year was a mess… And last year I bought that nice watch you mooned over with Steve.”

Javier dragged his teeth over his bottom lip, “Touché.”

You reached up and traced your finger down his nose, “So it was one year you told me not to get you anything.”

“I get it,” Javier laughed as he cupped your cheek and leaned down to kiss you, “I promise I didn’t get you anything but what you asked for.”

“Good.” You smiled up at him, before glancing at the bedside clock. It was just after six — Josie usually woke up closer to seven these days. “I have another gift request.”

“Hmm?” Javier arched a brow, “I can try to run out and get it—“

God, he could be so clueless sometimes. You curled your fingers around the back of his head and pulled him down for another kiss to shut him up.

He grabbed at your thigh as you turned towards him, drawing your leg over his hip. Javier groaned against your lips, his tongue darting out to find yours as your lips parted.

You trailed your hand up and down his bare chest and shoulders, trying to touch him everywhere that you could.

Javier caught the hem of your tank and drew it up your torso — breaking from the kiss long enough to toss it aside. “Can I?” He questioned, skimming his fingers over the curve of your breast.

You nodded, letting yourself sink back against the mattress as he moved over your, dipping down to catch your nipple between his lips. He lapped at the pebbled peak, before dragging his teeth over the soft flesh of your breast — sending little sparks of need through your veins.

“Javier.” You breathed out as you wound your fingers through his hair. You could feel his cock against your upper thigh, stiffening within his boxers. You shifted beneath him, parting your thighs so he was slotted between them.

His teeth scraped over your nipple and you jerked, grinding yourself against him, even with the fabric separating you. The friction was enough to make you moan, fingers tightening in his hair.

As much as you wanted to take it slow and savor a little birthday sex, you knew it was a race against the clock and a crying toddler. The only blessing was that it was Sunday. If she interrupted you now, you’d only have to wait until her nap and not until after work.

Javier sat back on his knees, looking down at you. “If I had known this was all you wanted, I wouldn’t have bought Robin Hood.” He taunted and you responded.

You sat upright until you were almost eye level with him, “A girl can want two things.” You tossed back as you reached down and cupped him through his boxers. “But right now, this is what I want, Javi.”

Your eyes lowered to his cock as you pulled down his boxers and freed it. “Fuck.” You breathed out as you curled your fingers around it and stroked it slowly, meeting his eyes. There was so much power that came from having your hand wrapped around his cock — it was a heady sensation.

Javier surged forward and crashed his lips against yours as he wrestled with your shorts and underwear. It took a moment of untangling yourselves to rid yourself of the last barriers of cloth, before he shoved you back against the pillow.

He knew exactly what you wanted.

You inhaled sharply as he curled his fingers loosely around your throat, pinning your back against the bed as his hand slid between your thighs.

“Goddammit, baby.” Javier rasped out as he worked his fingers between your slick folds. “You’re fucking drenched. Is that all from me?”

You nodded as best you could with the hand curled around your throat, but that only added to the experience. As much as you loved being in control and calling the shots — Javier could easily reduce you to a writhing mess with that little dominant streak.

Javier replaced his wandering fingers with his cock, dragging the head of his cock over your sensitive cunt, lingering right at your aching center.

“Is this what you want, baby?” Javier questioned as just the head of his cock sank into you, making you whimper for him. “You’ve got to tell me. I need to know this is what you want.”

“Please.” You gasped out, holding his gaze as you conveyed just how badly you wanted it.

Javier released his hold on your throat and clasped his hand over your mouth as he sank the full length of his cock into you. You arched up off the bed, rolling your hips down towards him.

You grabbed at his shoulders for support as he started to move; driving into you again and again, barely giving you a chance to miss him before he was slamming into you again.

He pried one of your hands off his shoulder, interlacing your fingers with his as he pressed it back against the mattress. Javier held your gaze as a slew of filthy whispers and praises left his mouth — making the heat in your lower belly burn hotter.

You curled a leg around his hips, moving with him as he filled you again and again. You were so close — chasing that delicious release that was dangling just out of reach.

His fingers tightened around your hand, his other hand gripping at your hip to hold you steady. You were right there, right on the edge. Your lips parted as you felt it start to build.

Your inner walls fluttered around his cock, seconds away from sending you crashing into oblivion and—

Javier’s pace faltered as the baby monitor on your dresser whirred to life with the sound of Josie starting to fuss.

“Fuck.” You slammed your fist against the mattress frustratedly as you tried to wiggle your other hand out of his hold. “I’ll go get her.”

“Baby,” Javier didn’t let go of your hand. “You’re going to come.” His tongue darted out over his lips. “If that’s what you want.”

You blinked up at him, drawing in a ragged breath as you nodded. “I was so close.” You complained as you shifted on his cock.

He ran his hand over your lower belly, dipping down to where your bodies were joined. “I’ve got you, baby.” Javier murmured as he rocked his hips slowly, shallowly thrusting into you. His thumb pressed against your clit, rubbing quick circles over the throbbing bundle of nerves.

You tried your best to tune out Josie — just for this moment. Just so you wouldn’t spend all morning aching with this unspent desire.

“Come on, baby. I wanna feel you come for me.” Javier urged you on, “Wanna feel your pussy come on my cock.” He shifted the angle of his thrusts, causing his cock to drag against that sweet spot.

“Fuck!” You gasped as you cupped your breasts, trying to chase that release with everything you could.

“Look at me.” Javier said roughly, causing your eyes to snap to his. “Come.”

There was something to his tone that set you off. Maybe it was the fullness of his cock, that desperate stroking of his thumb, but you were certain it was the command in his voice that sent you careening over the edge.

Javier was close behind you as clenched and trembled on his cock. Once, twice, three mores and you felt him spill within you.

There was no after, no basking in the glowing moments that followed. “I’ve got her,” Javier said as he abandoned you to retrieve his long forgotten boxers off the floor, before slipping out the door to tend to Josie.

You were left to lay in the center of the bed, your body still trembling as you tried to catch you breath. Even with the abrupt end, you were still floating above it all.

“Princesa,” Javier tsked as you listened for the baby monitor. “You’ve got impeccable timing.”

That was the understatement of the year.

You really should’ve gotten up, but all you really wanted to do was lay there and savor the last little ebb and flow of pleasure in your veins as Javier’s come leaked out of you.

“Daddy was trying to help mommy celebrate her birthday.” Javier continued, humming to her as he tried to soothe her.

You smirked to yourself as you listened. That right there was a gift and he didn’t even know it. He was so good with his daughter — doting and loving.

He didn’t do anything half-hearted, even if there were still days you feared all of this going away. You weren’t sure you wanted a world where you didn’t have this.

Them.

You rolled over and stretched out your legs.

Five more minutes of sleep and then you’d shower and start the day.

You grabbed ahold of his pillow and buried your face in it as you let yourself succumb to that post-orgasm exhaustion, coupled with exhaustion of parenthood.

With any luck, he could lure Josie back to sleep the same way that his humming had gotten you.

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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ruzek-halstead · 4 years

Text

found

part two

pairing: jay halstead x hailey upton

while chasing a lead on their homicide investigation, jay & hailey find an abandoned baby on christmas eve. as to not have the baby spend it’s first christmas at family services, it’s up to jay & hailey, with a little help from will & the rest of the team to take care of it.

“jay, you’d make a really hot dad.”

(inspired by ncis episode)

part one || part three || masterlist

warnings: swearing, fluffery

hailey had promised kim and vanessa that she would stop by the district to introduce them to baby alvin. they also needed to go by anyway to sign the paperwork in order to transfer the case to homicide.

in all honesty, it was a struggle to set up the car seat in jay’s truck. mostly because neither of them had ever done it before and never expected to so soon. it also didn’t help that it was december 24th and absolutely freezing outside. it ended with jay, frustrated out of his mind and hailey, googling the proper technique on how to do it. eventually they got it, but jay still frowned the whole drive over.

they hardly made it up the stairs before trudy stopped them.

“what is that and what is it doing in my district?” trudy frowned, staring at the car seat jay was carrying.

he made his way to her desk and plopped the seat on it. her frown deepened.

“what are you doing, chuckles?”

it was jay’s turn to frown, but hailey was loving it.

“chuckles? oh, i’m definitely stealing that,” hailey laughed, gently nudging baby alvin’s foot. he giggled and it was the most adorable thing.

even trudy cracked the tiniest smile. “voight mentioned something about this,” she motioned to baby alvin, “but he didn’t say it would be in my district.”

“we just have to finish off some paperwork,” hailey replied, “it’s not a problem, is it?”

trudy sent her a real, genuine smile. “of course not, hailey. let me know if you need anything.”

with that, she placed her glasses back on her face and went back to her computer. jay grabbed the car seat again and trailed hailey up the stairs, all the while looking confused.

“what the hell? why is she so nice to you?” jay mumbled disappointedly.

hailey merely smirked.

“oh. my. god!” before they even finished their trek up to the bullpen, vanessa was waiting expectantly at the stairs. “jay, hurry up, i want to see the baby!”

jay frowned. “why is everyone being so mean to me today?”

“we already have one baby to take care of, jay,” hailey mocked and jay’s mouth dropped at her audacity. he’d heard sassy hailey (many times) but let’s be honest, she usually coddled his feelings. she didn’t this time, and even though jay was offended, he found it extremely attractive.

kim and vanessa waste no time in stealing the baby away from jay, so he walked to his desk and focused on his essential paperwork.

“oh my god, he is so precious!” kim cooed, tickling baby alvin’s stomach.

adam came stumbling out of the breakroom. “is the baby here?” he exclaimed, rushing over with an expression of pure excitement. it had been quite an uneventful morning for the rest of the unit so when adam heard that his friends found a baby, he was understandably excited.

“he is so adorable,” vanessa added, staring at the baby and looking like the epitome of the heart eyes emoji.

“voight put you in charge?” adam voiced his question in jay’s direction, where he was signing a few forms. jay looked up and shot a glare at the judgement in adam’s voice. “sorry man,” adam stifled a laugh, “but do you even have anything in your fridge?”

jay threw his arms up in exasperation. “is today pick on jay day or something?”

“don’t be dramatic,” adam rolled his eyes, unbuckling alvin from his seat to pick him up. “i’ve seen your apartment many times.”

jay mumbled some profanities under his breath.

“have you guys given this little guy a name yet?” kim asked, playing with alvin’s fingers.

hailey and jay shared a secretive look before hailey revealed softly, “we decided to name him alvin.”

“i love that,” kim replied warmly; adam smiled so wide, his cheeks burned. vanessa obviously never got the chance to meet alvin olinsky, but she’d heard nothing but great things about the man. she’s positive it’s a great honour to be named after him.

“so, what’s next for you two?” adam asked, bouncing the baby as he walked around the bullpen.

hailey and jay shared another look; this time, jay looked slightly terrified, while hailey looked nauseous. “well, voight says we’re in charge until we find the mother. so, ruzek, any progress on that?” hailey questioned him with hopeful eyes.

“sorry to disappoint, hails,” adam replied, though he doesn’t look that sad; mostly just amused at the night his friends have laid out for them. “i’m very saddened to report i haven’t found anyone; not even a distant family member. “

hailey rolled her eyes. “you don’t look sad at all.”

“no, truly, i’m very torn up,” his right eyelid dropped in a wink. “i’ll keep looking though.”

kim rolled her eyes at her ex-boyfriend’s antics. “don’t worry, i’ll help. i’m sure we can find something.”

“in the meantime, you guys are probably good to head out now,” vanessa added, staring lovingly at baby alvin. “voight was just waiting on you guys to sign over the paperwork so we could all go home.”

jay looked up expectantly, with a large, nervous smile. “you guys are all coming over, right?”

“sorry! i’m spending the holidays with some friends and i’m leaving right after work,” vanessa replied apologetically. she busied herself with grabbing her coat and organizing her desk.

jay’s hopeful eyes flitted to adam and kim.

“i have to go visit my sister before she leaves for the holidays,” kim responded with an apologetic frown. “adam is going to his sister’s too, right?”

adam nodded his head, strapping baby alvin back into his seat. his bouncing of the baby had relaxed him so much, he was now snoozing away. “yeah, sorry. i’ll stay a bit longer to see what else i can dig up, but i have to leave tonight.”

“it’s fine,” jay frowned, “i’ll remember this next time any of you need my help.”

adam rolled his eyes. “okay, honey,” he mocked, “now, can you take the kids home and start dinner or am i the only one who does anything in this house?”

“i hate you.”

🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣

before hailey and jay left the district, kevin had come back from the store with a number of baby essentials they might need. he was sent by voight, who figured jay and hailey, would have no idea what they even needed, but kevin had experience with caring for little ones, so he was perfect for the job.

the two partners trudged their way through the chicago winter and to jay’s apartment

he won’t lie; he was nervous as hell, but hailey looked so calm and it genuinely comforted him. will had texted and promised he would bring some extra baby gear, so in the meantime, they kept the baby in his car seat to be safe.

“i’m going to make him a bottle, he’s probably hungry by now,” hailey said before she makes herself at home in his kitchen. they don’t spend much time in jay’s apartment; if anything, they usually grab a drink at her place, but she felt oddly at ease in his kitchen.

jay loved it.

it felt oddly intimate; but this was happening, and he just had to roll with it.

for the first time today, since being charged with baby duty, hailey actually felt confident in what she’s doing. she’s had to make bottles for her nephews before, so this wasn’t new. however, being in jay’s apartment with him felt new and a little too real, but he was acting casual so she’d be damned if she didn’t do the same.

while hailey tested out the temperature of the bottle, jay busied himself with grabbing blankets and pillows from his linen closet (he would never actually call it that, but will gifted him so many blankets, he needed to store them somewhere). he also turned on his netflix and started some old episodes of the office (it was his go-to show whenever he needed some background noise), and he knew hailey loved it.

he watched as hailey took baby alvin out of his seat and started feeding him.

“wow, you’re really good at this,” he divulged dumbly. he wanted to roll his eyes at himself because it was such a stupid thing to say.

she laughed. “yeah, this part was never so hard.”

he watched for a little longer before sighing. “are we totally in over our heads?”

“oh definitely,” she replied quickly, surprising him with her brutal honesty. “i’m positive one of us will end up crying before the sun comes up again.”

jay stared at her, but she doesn’t even look up from baby alvin.

“wait, are you serious?”

she doesn’t get the chance to reply (she was definitely going to tease him some more because his expressions are priceless) because the door opened and in walked their favourite redhead. his hands are full with a simple playpen and (oh, surprise) more blankets.

“will, for the love of god, stop bringing me blankets!” jay groaned, holding his arms out to grab them but will threw them at his face instead. “i have a closet full of them, dude.”

will rolled his eyes and placed everything else he brought hidden away in the corner. “you know, one day the power will go out or the heater will fail and you’ll be freezing, but you’ll have all my blankets to keep you warm,” he explained his brother with a self-satisfied smirk. “i can’t wait for that day; i will never let you live it down.”

jay mumbled something about will being a drama queen under his breath.

“so, how are you two kids holding up?” will asked, his eyes flickering between the both of them with a cheeky smirk.

jay shrugged his shoulders; honestly, he doesn’t feel as if he’s done much except carry the car seat around everywhere. “so far, so good. it hasn’t been that bad at all.”

will laughed for a solid minute.

“you two are absolutely adorable,” he’s still laughing, “this night is going to be fantastic.”

jay knew will was trying to intentionally freak him out; he knew this. but he also knew, it was absolutely working.

“i am sorry though,” will added, capturing jay’s attention. “i really only came to drop this stuff off. i forgot i had to be at nat’s tonight.”

jay started internally panicking. “what? you’re leaving?”

he noticed hailey smirking at him.

“isn’t nat like a baby doctor or something?” jay rambled nervously. he was beginning to feel slightly terrified at the prospect of caring for a tiny human being; so much could go wrong. “yeah, she is. she can come over too!”

will laughed at his brother’s misery. “sorry, bro. it’s a family thing and it’s christmas eve; we can’t miss it.”

“okay, fine,” he relented against his will. “just keep your phone on you.”

will smirked again. “you’re terrified, aren’t you?”

“absolutely.”

jay was done trying to hide it.

“hailey, you’re in charge,” will called out on his way to the door. “i’m sure it’ll be fine, but call me if you guys need anything! merry christmas!”

and then wills left, and dread started to pool in jay’s gut.

hailey was done feeding baby alvin and was now bouncing the baby against her shoulder (to make sure he burps, she explained). honestly, jay was learning so much.

“want to give it a try?” hailey asked, moving closer to jay and he froze.

he hadn’t held the baby outside of the car seat since they found him and he’s absolutely terrified to.

“come on, you’ll be fine.”

hailey left him with no choice when she transferred the baby into his arms. he nervously mimicked what hailey was previously doing, and prayed he didn’t accidentally break the baby.

“you’re doing great!” hailey encouraged as she cheered adorably. she also pulled out her phone and pointed it in his direction. “sorry, i have to document this. you guys look so cute together.”

jay let her because he couldn’t really stop her (he knew she was taking photos to send to the intelligence unit’s group chat, but they’d been teasing him all day, so who even cares anymore?).

jay finally heard the tell-tale sign of baby alvin’s burp and he felt slightly more relieved. hailey told him to keep doing what he’s doing until alvin falls asleep, and hopefully that would be it for the night (she was definitely wrong, but we’ll get to that later).

as hailey cleaned up her mess in jay’s kitchen, she also checked her phone to see the reactions in their group chat.

cpd assholes

adam ruzek: dilf… not even sorry

vanessa rojas: this is the cutest thing i’ve seen since atwater and the puppies

kim burgess: why does jay’s face look like that. he looks like he’s about to throw up

kevin atwater: more pictures please upton

she was quietly laughing to herself, even more so because jay was too busy to check his phone. it was probably for the best, to be honest. her phone buzzed once more and she saw it was a text from adam, sent to her and jay.

adam ruzek: bad news friends... finally found the mother but she’s deceased. looped in voight and he talked to family services and convinced them to let you guys stay with alvin until the 26th

adam ruzek: merry christmas bitches!!!!

adam ruzek: btw, jay you’d make a really hot dad. love u bro

in the meantime, jay had finally set baby alvin back in his seat as he slept, and checked his phone. “hope you don’t have any christmas plans,” jay began, sending her a small smile, “because it looks like you’re stuck with us.”

🐣

part three coming soon!!

also, “cpd assholes” is their group chat name bc that’s what i came up with at 1:30am, so let me know if you guys have better options 😂

🐣 bonus 🐣

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johnny-and-dora · 4 years

Text

you and i are very close

"A younger Holt less familiar with Jake Peralta would reprimand him for being so easy to read – but it seems to be in his very nature to wear his heart on his sleeve, and the truth is, it suits him."

or, jake & holt talk about fatherhood. (post 7x10)

read on ao3 -

“…So that’s the lowdown on the Broughton case. Charles and I are gonna head out and arrest them as soon as the warrant comes through.” Jake finishes, bouncing slightly on his heels as he finishes the update. Raymond Holt leans back in his chair, content with their plan of action.

“Excellent work, detective.” Holt says – but then finds himself mildly concerned when he only receives a subdued nod in reply. While he may deem it an appropriate workplace response to a captain’s praise, it is far from the excessive energy and enthusiasm that Jake usually exudes.

Raymond recalls the previous night’s events – a biological sex reveal party that led to Jake’s father being taken to the ER – and wonders if that might be placating the detective’s usually golden Labrador-like temperament.

“I trust that your father is in good health?” He asks tentatively, gesturing for Jake to sit down- he pauses for a moment before doing so, leg jostling in a way that increases Holt’s concern by 17.5%.

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. Sorry our party was kind of a full-blown disaster. Guess I should have expected that with three generations of Peraltas in the room.” He makes the self-deprecating remark with the light-hearted bravado Holt has come to expect from the detective, though it’s notably flatter than usual.

What’s more, his smile is more of a grimace, and he can’t stop fidgeting with the badge around his neck – a classic Peralta tell. Something is clearly bothering him, likely related to his complex relationship with his father and his own fatherhood looming.

A younger Holt less familiar with Jake Peralta would reprimand him for being so easy to read – but it seems to be in his very nature to wear his heart on his sleeve, and the truth is, it suits him. It is an openness, a trust and a sincerity that Holt has earned over the years as Jake’s superior officer. Though he still finds himself exasperated by his stubbornness and fixation on action films, Holt sincerely values his respect and loyalty.

He frowns, trying to assess the best way to discreetly discern what could be causing the detective’s distress.

“I actually found the party to be rather enjoyable, save the alarming bloodshed. The carrots were rich in nutrition and I thought the cake’s green colour made a very interesting and progressive statement.”

Jake’s lips quirk up a little at that, and he sits straighter in the chair, so Holt must be doing something right.

“Thank you, Captain, but that actually wasn’t our intention. Just another screw-up.”

“I see.” He considers this new information briefly, before attempting to continue the non-case related chitter-chatter, something he usually avoids. “So, you are now aware of the biological sex of your child?”

“Oh, yeah! We’re having a boy.” Jake finally smiles genuinely, and Raymond can’t help but return it. He may not personally care much for small infants, but the thought of the bickering detectives he first met when he came to the Nine-Nine having a child together does inspire some fatherly pride over how far they’ve come.

“My congratulations to you both.” He nods again, but his gaze is still far away. Holt decides to subtly switch tactics.

“You know, whatever doubts may be plaguing you, I am certain you have absolutely nothing to be worried about. Your son is very lucky to have you both as parents.”

“What? I’m not, um, there’s absolutely zero doubts to be found here.” Jake’s eyebrows briefly shoot up to his hairline as he stammers some typically poorly concealed denial. Holt remains neutral, wishing he had done some research on the subject but doing his best to power through.

“It is perfectly natural to be anxious about such things.”

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the gentle encouragement is all that it takes for a veritable avalanche of emotions to trip over themselves as Jake speaks.

“I guess I just…I want to be the best dad I can be. I don’t want him to ever feel like…like he’s been abandoned or he’s alone. It’s crazy how much I already love this kid and I haven’t even met him yet, but I know I would do absolutely anything to keep him safe. And with my dad talking about this stupid Peralta father-son curse and my grandpa being a jerk and walking out of our lives all over again…I don’t know. I just know that I don’t want to let him – or Amy – down. Ever.”

Holt is admittedly, a little overwhelmed. He and Kevin have never seen the appeal of conforming to heteronormative ideals of family life, and yet he values his place as the head of the chosen family he’s found at the Nine-Nine. The mysteries of pregnancy and childcare are complete unknowns to him, yet he finds himself completely certain that Jake and Amy will be great parents to their future son.

So, Holt does what he has always found it easiest to do, and he tells Jake the truth.

“I am not sure of this family ‘curse’ you speak of, but as your commanding officer for the majority of the past seven years, I know your doubts are ill-founded. On the contrary, the dedication and loyalty you have shown me, and every member of this squad, only makes me surer you will be a great father.”

“Really?” Jake says, hopeful but apparently still unconvinced.

“This job is not an easy one. You and I know both know first-hand how our lives can be affected by circumstances we cannot control. But you would never willingly let your family down, and the fact that you are so committed to doing everything you can for them is a sure sign that you never will.” Holt pauses briefly to let his sincerity sink in.

“Your son is going to love you, Jake. He will grow to enjoy many Thomas Cruise films with you, and I’m sure he will come to share your passion for…the transforming robot sewer turtles?”

“Feel compelled to tell you those are two completely different franchises, but I really appreciate the attempt and I will be emailing Michael Bay’s team about a potential cross-over.”

“Well. Regardless of the specifics of these cartoon turtles, I am sure you have understood my point.”

“Yes. Thank you, sir. I- that means, uh, a lot.” His thanks is, as usual, completely earnest, and Holt finds himself glad to have helped in any small way. He cannot completely solve the detective’s issues with fatherhood, but he is happy to be one consistent and stable presence for Jake to rely on. Just as he knows he can rely on him.

“You are welcome. And you are free to discuss any other personal issues you may have with me, although I assume Santiago may be better suited to such conversations.”

“She’s been telling me pretty much the same thing.” Jake admits, shifting in his seat. Raymond briefly wonders about the intricacies of their home life, whether they will discuss this conversation over dinner or perhaps during the commercials of some form of media content.

“Well, I recommend you listen to her. She has proven herself to be extremely perceptive and is rarely ever wrong.”

“I know.” Jake grins, a very specific smile on his face that Holt recognises has long been reserved for talking about Amy, even before they began their courtship. “Sometimes I still can’t believe she married me.”

Holt thinks of years spent watching them endlessly bicker and argue and tease each other, thinks of the intimacy affection he sees most often when they are inebriated at Shaw’s bar. He thinks of how ragged and distraught they’ve been each time they’ve been forced apart and how relieved they were to be back together. He thinks of officiating their wedding and accidentally intruding on their honeymoon, and above all, he thinks about each moment of their shared happiness together he has been privileged enough to witness.

“I do not believe she was wrong about that either.”

It’s an expression of sentiment which breaches many of his strict rules of conduct and professionality in the workplace, and he’s partly reluctant to be debasing himself so willingly. But then Jake’s eyes are shining with gratitude and his usual enthusiastic bright demeanour has returned and Raymond can’t help but feel relieved.

“Oh my god, I always knew you were our secret number one fan. Charles is going to be crushed.”

“You are dismissed.”

“Noooo, but I really want to stay and talk about how invested you are in our relationship- “

“-Please leave my office.”

Holt maintains his usual stony-faced composure until Jake shuts the door – only then does he allow himself to relax in his seat a little, fondly thinking of Kevin, Cheddar and the family he has found in the Nine-Nine. He makes a note to discuss stuffed animal varieties with Kevin at a later date so that they may have something to present Jake and Amy’s son when he arrives.

And when he gets to meet the newest addition to the Santiago-Peralta family a few short months later, held oh-so-carefully and preciously in the arms of a man he has come to consider a son, it is a meeting that he treasures for the rest of his life.

#b99 #b99 fic #brooklyn 99 #listen. i have a lot of emotions about soon-to-be-father jake and his gay work dad #so here you go #my writing #shut up sian

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halstudandruz · 4 years

Text

Social Distancing (NSFW)

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Kevin Atwater x Reader

Prompt: “Another Kevin story” reader is having a hard time social distancing

Warnings: smut (18+), swearing, daddy kink, sexting

A/N: Your texts are italicized, Kevin’s are bolded. Be careful and stay healthy out there guys. Wash your hands and practice social distancing. I don’t want to see any of you sick! Also this somehow turned into a slight daddy kink thing oops.

“Seriously Kev what am I supposed to do all day.” You whined from your bed as Kevin got dressed for work.

“I don’t know...enjoy your time off?” He smirked, amusement on his face looking at you in the mirror as he pulled his shirt on.

“I would enjoy it much more if you took that shirt off and climbed back into this bed.” You wiggled your eyebrows at him as he turned to face you.

“As much as I would love to and believe me I would,” he looked at you slight lust in his features before shaking it off, “some of us are still essential. Criminals don’t stop cause of a virus.” He sighed sitting on the bed to pull his shoes on. Groaning you shoved your face into a pillow making him chuckle.

“Oh! I forgot. I got you some hand sanitizer and vitamins they’re on the kitchen counter. Make sure you put them in your desk.” You informed. Coming around to your side of the bed he leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips.

“Thank you babe. I will.” He picked up his bag to head out.

“Kevin.” You scolded him, making him sigh.

“I will baby. I promise. Have a good day. Just relax!” He scolded back heading out the door. Huffing you relaxed back into your bed turning the TV on to occupy your attention. You had been sucked into an episode of How I Met Your Mother when your phone vibrated beside you. Rolling over you opened it to see a text from Kevin.

“The hand sanitizer has somehow become a shared bottle.” He sent with a picture of the bottle sitting on Mouse’s desk at the front of the room, a few people gathered around it before another text came through, “also, Ruzek wants to know why you didn’t get him any vitamins.” Chuckling you typed back a reply,

“I’ll get him some on my next grocery run promise. Also remind your colleagues of the six feet apart rule. If you get anything you're quarantining in the guest room.” You teased.

“Totally understandable.” He answered. Shaking your head with a small smile you abandoned your phone back to your night stand focusing your attention back on the tv.

A few hours had passed before you started going a little stir crazy. You had no more rooms to clean in your house; they were already spotless from last week. Not that you weren’t enjoying your time off but you needed to think of something to do. Remembering that you needed to clean your phone up a little you started doing some maintenance. Deleting some games and old apps you hadn’t used in a while, clearing out your notes folder before moving onto your pictures. You had a habit of screenshotting things to send to people and forgetting to delete them. You were about five minutes in before you had reached your “Kevin” album. Also known as the hidden album. You had honestly forgotten you even had them on your phone since they weren’t in your regular pictures and since you moved in with him three months ago you two hadn’t had any reason to send pictures anymore. But looking back at them you were damn glad you had saved them. Immediately feeling heat spread through your body at the pictures and videos you had saved over the years. Squirming in your bed you pulled Kevin’s messages back up.

“Hey..you guys busy?” You asked and he answered almost immediately.

“No, we’ve been inside all day. They don’t want us out unless it’s a big case.” He explained.

“Soooo.. are you like around people?” You continued.

“I’m...at my desk? So I guess so?” You could practically hear the confusion over his texts.

“Oh good cause I need your help.” You stated.

“With what?” He asked. You pushed the blanket down that covered you to your thighs leaving you laying openly in your bra and panties as you snapped a picture sending it off to your boyfriend without an explanation. “Babe.” He stated simply.

“Kev, please. I miss you and I found pictures of you on my phone and I’m so horny now.” You explained wishing the whine of your words would come out in text. Knowing he’d give in if he could hear you beg.

However, apparently he could imagine the whine in his head cause not long after he replied,

“This has got to be quick.” Smiling you trailed your hand down to tease yourself outside of your panties. Fingers lightly tracing over your slit. Adjusting yourself so you could still text with the other hand.

“Already started, just need you to get me there baby.” You replied.

“You’re so needy, interrupting me at work like this. So bad. You know that?” He began.

“Yes. I’m sorry. Just need you.” You typed.

“You’re my girl. Only I should get to see you. Anyone could’ve seen that picture. Being risky aren’t you baby? You’re gonna get so punished for this when I get home.” Sighing at his words you began to rub harder feeling the dampness already starting to accumulate.

“How?” You urged.

“Gonna tease you so bad. Make you so wet without even touching your pussy. Gonna kiss all over your body except your pussy. Then I’m gonna make you suck this dick. Since your so good at it and you’re gonna let me fuck that pretty mouth of yours. Maybe I’ll cum all over your pretty face or maybe I’ll bend you over the counter and fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk tomorrow. Would that be a good punishment or would you like that too much?” Whimpering as you read the words you snuck your hand into your panties starting to rub soft circles around your clit, spreading the wetness from between your legs.

“Oh god Kev. Want you to fuck my mouth so bad. Love tasting your dick.” You said.

“I know you do. And you’re so good at it too princess. Love hearing you moan when my cock is shoved down your throat too. Makes me wanna cum right then and there. Take those panities off. Put those fingers to work gorgeous.” Swallowing hard you followed his instructions using your free hand to push your panties down your legs kicking them to the side and spreading your legs wider. Slowly pushing a single finger into your pussy, increasing the speed with each thrust before adding a second. The amount of wetness making it easy.

“Wish these were your fingers filling me up.” You texted.

“Me too baby. Love taking care of that pretty pussy of yours. Love tasting it and filling it up.. You always take me so well princess. Always know how to please daddy. How to keep daddy begging for more don’t you?” Moaning at his words the speed of your fingers increased curling up to find your sweet spot, hips jolting up once you did. Your mind filled with images of Kevin. How his mouth feels when it’s all over you, fingers thrusting hard and purposefully into your pussy driving you towards the edge so well, how his cum feels when it fills you up, these thoughts kept running through your mind as you began to to ride your hand and rub your clit with your thumb willing yourself to believe Kevin’s fingers were the ones bringing you to your peak.

“Love feeling your dick deep in me daddy. Fuck, I’m close Kev.” You warned.

“Love knowing I can make you cum with just a few words. Love knowing I can make that pussy wet so easily baby. Come on babygirl. Cum for daddy. Just like you would all over my fingers. Don’t be quiet on me either.” He encouraged. Between his words and the old video of him cumming you had playing on your phone your muscles tensed hard before the pleasure unraveled throughout your body. Dropping your phone to your side your eyes shut tightly, Free hand now gripping your sheets as your hips bucked up riding out your high, thighs shaking while you moaned out Kevin’s name loudly even though he was nowhere to be seen or heard. Only realizing how fucked and in love he actually had you as you laid, panting trying to get your sense of the world back. Picking your phone back up you laughed to yourself,

“Thanks, baby.” You sent with a kissy face emoji.

“Anything for my girl. You better be damn ready for me when I get home though. I wasn’t kidding.” He sent with a winky face.

”Always ready for that dick of yours..” You replied truly meaning it and already wishing the hours away.

#kevinatwaterxreader #kevin atwater x reader #kevin atwater imagine #kevin atwater #kevin atwater smut #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd x reader #chicago pd smut #chicago pd

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rewritingthefictional · 4 years

Text

promise | colby brock

Summary: colby hasn’t always been the best big brother but he’s trying to make it up now

Requested: I was wondering if you could a Colby Brock x teen!sister!reader where something happened to their parents and she has to move in with Colby and he has no idea what to do so maybe Kat and Devon teach him how to help her and the whole gang loves her and helps her with adjusting to L.A. sorry if that's a bit specific but it won't leave my mind!🖤 @simply-sams-things

Appearances: Sam, Aryia, Jake, Kat, Devyn, Tara, Kevin, Mike

A/N: sorry this was so late, i kind of struggled with this one. I hope it’s what you were looking for, i tried my best. it kind of took on a mind of it own. enjoy!

Word Count: 2.3k

TeenSister!Reader x Colby Brock

Masterlist

Colby paced as he stood outside of his car at the airport. He felt as if he was losing his mind. He didn’t know what he was going to do when you arrived. He knew that being an older brother meant having some responsibility but he never expected that he would be taking care of you. What if he didn’t do a good job? What if you started to resent him? What would he do if you got hurt? He could feel a panic attack starting to arise and knew that he needed to do something to control it.

He pulled out his phone and dialed Katrina’s number.

“Hey Colbs, what’s up?”

“Kat, I’m panicking. What if she starts to hate me? What if I just completely ruin her life while she’s here? What if she hates LA, what would I do then? What if-”

“Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Colby slow down. Everything is going to be fine. She’s your sister, she’ll love you no matter what and I’m sure she’s excited to be living with you. You are not going to ruin her life, plus she’s a teenager she’s not five. For the most part, I’m pretty sure she knows how to handle herself.”

“I just don’t know what to do Katrina.”

“Colby I promise you, everything is going to be fine. Plus, you’re not alone. You have so many friends here who are more than willing to make sure that she’s well adjusted.”

“Thanks, Kat.”

“Anytime Cole, you okay now?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Colby noticed as your figure emerged from the sliding door. “I gotta go Kat, I think I see her.”

“No problem, see you later!”

“Most Def.” Colby hung up the phone as you began running to him. His smile widened as he pulled you into a hug.

“God, it’s so good to see you Colebear,” you spoke into his shoulder as you continued your embrace. You heard him groan at the nickname causing you to smile.

“I’ve always hated that nickname,” Colby told you while pulling away from the hug.

“Yeah well deal with it because you’re stuck with me now,” you replied while sticking your tongue out at him. He shoved you playfully and you gave him a shocked look.

“Now that’s just rude!”

“Yeah well deal with it because you’re stuck with me now,” Colby mimicked causing you to laugh before you got in the car. “Seriously though, I’m not stuck with you. I just gained a roommate I’m excited to have.”

“Thanks Colby, I was worried you wouldn’t want me to be with you.”

“Never [Y/N/N].”

The car ride to the Colby’s apartment was spent in silence. You had run out of things to say and Colby was letting his mind wander again. You weren’t really sure how to feel yet. A part of you was excited to be with Colby and to be in California but the other part of you also felt awkward. When Colby had left to California your relationship wasn’t the same. The two of you had spoken multiple times but they were always brief conversations. Of course you adored him, he was your older brother, but you also felt abandoned by him. He left you behind and he didn’t seem to regret that.

When the two of you reached his apartment, you took a deep breath, allowing yourself to relax and just be in the moment. You had hoped that this could be a new start for the two of you. Hopefully a way to rebuild that brother and sister bond the two of you used to share.

“Look [Y/N], all my friends are there, they’re kind of excited to meet you,” Colby informed you both walked to his apartment door.

“Is Sam going to be there?” He looked at you and laughed.

“Of course Sam is going to be there, why wouldn’t he be?”

“Well I don’t know,” you nervously chuckled.

Colby unlocked the door and immediately your ears filled with cheers. You slightly cringed, not expecting the noise.

“[Y/N]! It’s been so long,” Sam yelled while running to you. He pulled you into a hug and spun you around making you squeal.

“Sammy!” He put you down as you continued talking, “I missed you so much! I missed both of you so much. You know you’re like an older brother to me.”

“I missed you too, [Y/N/N/].”

A blue haired girl appeared at his side causing you to smile.

“Hi, I’m Katrina,” you held out your hand to shake it but she pulled you into a hug.

“I want a hug too!” You heard two other girls yell. One was short with blonde and black hair, the other girl was an average height with long black hair. They were both gorgeous beyond belief. The two of them pulled you into a hug and you looked toward Colby for help. You could see him stifling a laugh and shot him a glare.

“Okay guys, let her get settled before you begin to attack her with love,” Colby remarked. The two let you go and introduced themselves.

“I’m Devyn!”

“I’m Tara!”

“Hi…”

“And I’m going to guide her to her room,” Colby said pushing you away from everyone else in the room. “I’ll formally introduce her in a second!”

“So this room is for you, I’m sorry about the mural, we can paint over it.”

“I don’t even want to know why and how,” you joked. You noticed that Colby really took his time to make sure that this felt like home to you. He got a flower framed bed, with purple bed sheets, there was a purple carpet and a white marbled desk.

“Devyn and Kat, helped me pick out this stuff for you. I really didn’t know what I was doing but I wanted you to feel welcomed here.”

You could feel yourself tearing up but you didn’t want to show it in front of Colby. He was trying and that’s all you ever wanted since he had left.

“Look [Y/N], I know that I abandoned you back in Kansas. But I’m here now, and I want things to be okay between us,” you wiped your eyes before turning to look at him.

“Colby, If I had no choice but to come here would you have ever bothered fixing our relationship?” He stood quiet for a moment, giving you the answer you needed. “I thought so.”

“[Y/N] I-”

“It’s fine Colby, we don’t need to be the picture perfect family. But don’t pretend like you’re doing this out of the kindness of your heart because you’re not.”

You walked out of the room and headed toward the living area where everyone else was. You appearance made everyone cheer again causing you to laugh.

“Hi everyone, I didn’t finish meeting all of you. So names, please?”

“Alright, alright, alright. Here I go,” an emo boy with painted nails and a beanie said standing up.

“I am Jake Webber, for all your humorous inquiries please come and see me,” he said, giving a little bow.

“He’s not as funny as he thinks he is, don’t listen to him. I’m Kevin,” the dark skinned boy said.

“Anyone who has to tell me they’re funny is obviously not funny but thanks for the information Kev,” you stated causing everyone to laugh.

“Oh, you’re going to fit right in,” Katrina said and you bowed. Aryia began to introduce himself as Colby stepped out of the room. His eyes looked red as if he had been crying. You felt slightly guilty but you had spoke your mind and that wasn’t something you had done in a long time. You needed Colby to see how hurt you were. Things weren’t going to be immediately perfect just because he wanted them to be. You needed him there and he wasn’t. Mike was the last one to introduce himself and it made you feel like you could really belong here.

“I think we should go out for dinner,” Devyn suggested. A chorus of yes’ filled your ears.

“We could take sightseeing tonight as well!” Kat yelled.

“There’s plenty of time to take me sightseeing, I’m here for good guys.”

“To food then!” Jake yelled and you shook your head in amusement. After plenty of ideas and a lot of yelling it was decided that the group would go to the boardwalk and find food to eat there.

The ride to the boardwalk was awkward. You, Colby, Kevin, Aryia and Mike were in one car and everyone else had their own cars. The boys cracked jokes the entire time as you stared out the window.

“YeeHaw [Y/N], how are you liking LA so far?” Kevin asked causing you to chuckle.

“Well I haven’t seen much but the airport and Colby’s apartment so I gotta say, it’s pretty dirty here.”

“HEY!” Colby yelled and the boys laughed.

“Wow your little sister just owned your ass,” Aryia informed him.

“How does it feel to be the lesser liked Brock now?” Mike asked.

“I’ve always been more liked than Colby, pros of being the cutest,” you stated causing the guys to laugh.

You continued to stare out the window until you arrived at the boardwalk. You could see Jake and Sam parking their cars a few spaces away from Colby.

“Wassup brothers!” You heard Jake yell while running toward you. He jumped on top of Colby knocking him down, causing you to laugh.

“Jake!” Colby yelled

“Sorry brother,” Jake replied.

“So what’s the eating situation going to be for tonight?” Sam asked.

“Honestly, I could go for Japadog,” Mike answered.

“Japadog?” You questioned.

“Japanese styled hot dogs, m’dear,” Mike replied while placing his arm around you.

“Hands off my sister Mike or you’ll live up to your name,” Colby demanded.

“Chill Brock, it’s only only brotherly love,” Mike joked while ruffling your hair. You swatted his hand away causing Aryia to laugh.

“Looks like someone’s fitting in perfectly!” Kat sing-songed.

“Are we getting Japadog or what?” Kevin asked.

“To Japadog!” Jake yelled putting his arm in the air and running straight ahead.

“He needs to be on a leash,” Tara teased causing everyone to laugh.

You stood quiet as everyone began to get into their own conversations, slowly lagging behind. California was so beautiful. Everything about it was mesmerizing. The people, the views, the architecture, the water, the sounds and especially the weather. You could have found yourself living there for the rest of your life. It kind of felt surreal, as if you would pinch yourself and it was all going to disappear right before your eyes.

You continued looking at everything you could, taking it all in before a hand on your shoulder distracted you. You looked up to see the face of someone you didn’t recognize.

“Take your hand off me,” you demanded.

“It’s alright beautiful, just want to know your name sweetheart,” he smiled at you. You attempted to pull your arm away but he only gripped harder. You turned your head to yell for Colby but you couldn’t even see him anymore. You could feel heart racing.

Suddenly the guy was pulled from your arm and on the ground. Colby was about to punch him when you grabbed him arm. The last thing you needed was to try and bail Colby out of jail.

“Keep your fucking hands off her,” you heard Colby state through gritted teeth. The guy looked up at him and smirked.

“You don’t scare me. You’re like the size of a toothpick, what are you going to do about it?”

“He may not scare you but we sure could,” Aryia said appearing at your side with the rest of the guys.

“Touch our sister again and you’ll be in the hospital instead of in the ground,” Jake threatened. You looked at Jake and pouted. You were “their sister,” and you hadn’t even been there a full day yet. The guys had really taken a liking towards you and that made you feel eternally grateful.

The guy scrambled to his feet and took off in the opposite direction of the boardwalk.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked grabbing your face into his palms.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. He just scared me, that’s all.”

“We’re never leaving your side again, okay?” he told you pulling you into hug.

“Yeah, okay.”

You placed your head into his neck and let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in. Sam rubbed your back to calm your nerves and you were so grateful he did because you hadn’t realized how scared you were until the situation settled. Once you pulled away from him everyone else had decided to give you a hug as well.

“You guys go ahead, [Y/N] and I will meet you there,” Colby told the group and they nodded.

“I’m sorry, I should have been by your side,” He immediately said to you when everyone was out of ear shot.

“Colby it’s okay.”

“No [Y/N] it’s not. I should have been there for you now like how I wasn’t back home. I left without realizing the consequences and I don’t wan’t our relationship to continue to be damaged. You’re my sister, my best friend, my whole world and I promised to always be there for you and I wasn’t. This time I will be, this time I’m not going anywhere. It’s you and me forever and always.”

“I was angry at you for long so Colby but all I ever wanted was my brother and I’m sorry I held onto that grudge but I’m so happy I have you now. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here with you and your friends and creating with my brother who I love so much.”

“From now on, we make it our priority to be brother and sister first. That’s my new promise to you [Y/N], you’ll always come first.”

“I promise too, all we have is us,” you pulled him into a hug and he gave you a kiss on the forehead. This was all you ever wanted, your brother back.

“Now let’s go get food cause I’m starving!”

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