#they have a lot in common but they also differ in their active/laziness just enough like
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Snakes of Africa: Ball Pythons
This is the first of a series on African snake species, where I go through how they live in the wild and attempt to demystify some aspects of care and myths surrounding African snakes.
We all know the myths about ball pythons. They're from "a narrow strip in Africa," they don't need to climb, they don't need really high humidity...let's challenge some of those ideas!
If you don't know just how big Africa is, it's easy to underestimate how big the ball python's range is, too. I think it's easier to understand if you look at it on a global map:
That's a big area! Wild ball python habitats range from grasslands to forests, cutting through arid savannahs and even into rainforests.
Because the climate across the ball python's range is so variable, they are best understood as habitat generalists - they have perimeters they prefer, and they can find ways to adapt in different environments.
A large portion of the ball python's range is arid, and that leads to one famous fact about them: ball pythons love termite mounds, because they provide them with a nice and very humid area to nap. Even among people who know wild ball pythons love termite mounds, that's often used as reason to justify keeping them in too-small enclosures. After all, termite mounds don't sound like they're very big...
But they are.
Termite mounds are one of the reasons ball pythons are such good climbers.
Despite their arid habitat, wild ball pythons (aside from seeking out termite mounds) will also seek out wet areas, such as streams and lakebeds. In captivity, humidity isn't something you should skimp on for a ball python. At least 60% humidity is essential, and closer to 70% is ideal, and a humidity box allows your snake to have an area that's close to 100% humidity at all times. Humidity boxes also allow for a range of humidity conditions, like your snake would experience in the wild!
An extremely common myth about ball pythons is that they don't climb and won't take advantage of enrichment. This couldn't be further from the truth! In the wild, ball pythons are excellent climbers and are known to even hunt in trees. Multiple studies surveying wild ball pythons have found nearly half of their subjects in trees. These are not solely terrestrial snakes.
Another stereotype about ball pythons is that they're "pet rocks." If you give them enrichment and look at their wild behavior, this couldn't be further from the truth! Wild ball pythons are observed as being very active snakes who will actively hunt and seek out food rather than relying on strict ambush predation strategies. That's one reason it's best to feed your pet ball python when you see them out and "hunting!"
Of course, wild snakes will be more active than pet snakes simply for the sake of survival, but their activity level in the wild is indicative of what it should be more like in captivity. Some inviduals are a bit lazy, sure, but by and large most ball pythons will take advantage of every inch of space you give them. Climbing branches, tunnels, and new things to check out are a must!
Because wild ball pythons are habitat generalists, that also clues us into what enrichment they most enjoy. In the wild, along with climbing (which they love!), ball pythons are also known to swim (though they mostly only due this when necessary) and dig burrows. In captivity, many pet ball pythons enjoy an occasional soak, so it's good to provide a big enough water dish for them to curl up in, and some individuals enjoy digging burrows. If you provide an extra few inches of substrate for your snake to dig in, you might be surprised by how much they enjoy it!
Now, let's talk about food! In the wild, ball pythons eat a wide variety of rodents and a lot of birds. In fact, their semi-arboreal habits mean they even eat a lot of bats when they can catch them! Unfortunately, one of the tricky things about their diet is that their favorite foods in the wild include shrews, jerboas, African soft-furs, rufous-nosed rats, and other rodents that are just honestly impossible to source for your pet ball python. In captivity, a diet of rats is appropriate, and unfortunately it can be hard to provide variety to many ball pythons simply because a lot of them just prefer more hard-to-find rodents and will resist switching back to rats. For good, non-picky eaters, though, other rodents and chicks make excellent treats.
Ball pythons have a reptutation as very picky, finicky eaters, but honestly it's my experience that this effect is much, much lesser when their husbandry is consistently appropriate. Making sure to provide adequate humidity seems especially important in ensuring your ball python is a good eater! Additionally, ball pythons tend to like it a bit hotter - 90 F (32 C) is a good hot-side temperature for most ball pythons.
If there's anything to take away from this brief look into wild ball pythons, it's this: these snakes will thrive best if given the opportunity to engage in more natural behaviors. Climbing, digging, and exploring are essential for any ball python!
Ball pythons are so much more than just "pet rocks." If you provide them with space and enrichment, you'll be delighted by what fun, active, curious, and engaging pets they are!
(This message is approved by my sweet girl Miriam.)
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Long Post: Why I Don’t Like The Drow
I’ve been ranting about this to a friend on discord (a lot of points I make will come from him) but I’ve finally figured out what my issue with the drow is outside of inherently evil groups being dumb.
The drow are boring. Drow lore is less of a dive into a unique culture and more of a list of fucked up things they do. Like, I cannot name a single interesting aspect of typical drow society that does not directly involve murder, sexism, or slavery, or Lolth. And even then, most of those things are written about in an incredibly bland fashion with them.
The Drow don’t really have much depth to them, and are just kind of evil for evil’s sake (or “because Lolth said so”). They do slavery, but the only real purpose of doing slavery for them is “because Lolth said so”. It isn’t for cheap labor, it’s to be more evil. They betray each other purely because that’s what evil people do. They’re misandrist, not for any real societal reason, but because Lolth hates men. There’s none of what would make slavery an interesting topic or story element, no justification for why they should be allowed to commit one of the worst injustices possible, no real economic reason for it. They just do it because Lolth says they should, and from a writing perspective it hammers home the fact that they’re evil. They aren’t evil because they enslave and murder, they enslave and murder because they’re evil, if that makes any sense.
Them being written as comically evil as they are also hurts them from a worldbuilding perspective. They’re so reliant on slaves for menial labor that the lower class of their society struggle to get jobs. Drow culture so obsessed with betrayal and dumbass house wars that even when actively under attack from the outside they sabotage each other. They’re so decadent that their buildings are held up with magic and semi regularly collapse when a spell fails. To put it bluntly, drow society feels like one that should have collapsed in a few centuries, which, funnily enough, is way longer than D&D elves live.
Their culture being so monolithic also makes writing anything about them difficult. Every drow antagonist is going to have near identical motivations, methods, and ideologies as every other drow antagonist. Every drow protagonist is going to ultimately feel very similar to Drizzt, because leaving their fucked up society to become a do-gooder is such a common backstory element that they added a whole extra god just for doing that. In fact, you can divide 90% of drow characters from any official materials into these categories:
Manservant
Ambitious male, usually a wizard (5 bucks says he has long hair and a widow’s peak)
Dommy Mommy Warcrime Woman
Drizzt Do’Urden or one of his many duplicates
Self-loathing and/or resentful Drider
And finally, their existence almost purely to be humanoid enemies you can fight at nearly any levels is just kind of lazy. This is a problem that I have with the “evil races” of a lot of fantasy but having a group that’s evil by birth just feels like an excuse to not have to write actual motivations for your antagonists. It’s the difference between “go attack this camp of soldiers because they’re part of the SkullMurder army and their general wants to use our land to build a dread fortress” vs “go attack this camp of soldiers specifically because they’re drow/goblins/orcs/the dreaded peepee-poopoo folk”. Using stuff like this just feels like an excuse to not have to write an actual antagonist since it comes pre-written in the group’s lore. This has the side effect of whenever such a group is the antagonist of the plot, the players or audience know near exactly what to expect. The orc is here to conquer, the goblin is here to steal, and the drow is here to enslave or do some dark ritual.
I’ve legitimately heard people say “well if XYZ can’t be inherently evil anymore, who will we use as bad guys?” It’s very simple: whoever the fuck we want. Write an evil queen, or a scheming wizard, or an underground slave trade network. For God’s sake, anyone can be evil, you don’t need to tie that to a specific ethnic group and write it as “they’re just like that”. Write an actual character for your antagonist.
#dnd#dnd lore#rant post#it’s also incredibly funny to me that the duergar are a near exact copy of the drow (but with dwarves)#and they somehow manage to be more interesting than the drow
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more pkmn x danny phantom stuff because i have lost control of my life
also for anyone interested in AU ramblings, please enjoy the literal essay i wrote under the cut lol
THE PREMISE:
AU where pokemon exist in the DP canon. Universes are merged, so Amity Park exists alongside Kanto/Unova/etc in their respective real world locations.
Danny’s parents research/hunt dp-verse ghosts AND ghost pokemon. Their research is focused on the ghosts of once-living creatures, and also identifying the difference between “dead” and “living” ghosts. ex. A Yamask can be born from an egg, which means it never died, but it can also be the spirit of a dead person.
While the Fentons aren’t actively trying to exterminate every ghastly or duskull, they still have some serious prejudices against ghost types, and they DEFINITELY hate dp-verse ghosts as much as in canon.
The portal accident happens normally. Danny was due to get his first pokemon around the start of freshman year, but the accident (and his now spiraling school grades) put it on hold.
Instead, Phantom is exploring the ghost zone one day and passes by a Hisuian Zorua. Danny doesn’t think much of it, but the Zorua follows him home and quickly causes trouble. It seems to have a nasty grudge against humans, playing dangerous pranks against Amity Park’s residents and forcing Danny to send it back into the zone. After several return trips, it settles down and decides that it’s more interested in this not-entirely-living-or-dead kid than getting revenge. After that decision, Zorua quickly becomes Danny’s partner.
Since Zorua are inherently timid creatures and a Hisuian variant would attract a lot of attention (not to mention Jack and Maddie’s possible reaction), Zorua is almost always disguised as something other than its true form. Seeing a Unovan Zorua on Danny’s shoulder is common, as are Rowlet and Hoothoot. No one’s really sure where Danny caught them all, but they don’t care enough to ask.
Phantom, on the other hand, can be seen at night playing with a ghostly variant of Zorua previously thought to be extinct.
PKMN TEAMS:
danny:
hisuian zorua (discussed above)
absol (stalks him for a year because Danny is a Walking Disaster and triggers all of absol’s danger senses. maybe it tried to prevent the portal accident and failed?)
jazz:
eevee (lots of potential, connections to mutations/~molecules getting all rearranged~)
parents were pushing for eevee to evolve into umbreon, but………
sam:
bulbasaur (grass type, connection to “save the frogs” episode)
shiny purrloin (technically the family pet, but is fond of sam)
tucker:
helioptile (generates electricity, connections to desert and ”hotep ra” episode)
rotom (initially a pest who possesses his tech, later forms a rotom phone relationship)
maddie:
weavile (intelligent, vicious hunter. has hands to help out in the lab)
houndoom (hunter, pack animal, loyal)
jack:
slaking (lazy and unassuming but very powerful. has hands to help out in the lab)
porygon2 maybe? (gift from vlad with the intention of hacking their systems)
^^^ weavile and slaking are maddie and jack’s starters. houndoom and porygon2 are bonded to the whole fenton family rather than one particular person.
vlad:
crobat (vampiric, requires friendship- aka vlad isn’t completely evil)
skitty (nicknamed maddie)
noivern (vampiric, violent and cruel but can be tamed. maybe it bonds to Danny and defects?)
hydreigon (destructive and overwhelmingly powerful)
shiny charizard
also probably like a dozen dreepy/dragapult
^^^ most of vlad’s pokemon are just displays of wealth and power. he hasn’t seriously bonded with any of them except for crobat, his starter, and skitty, his “sister’s cat”.
also a note that im not necessarily choosing pkmn that perfectly match a character’s theme or aesthetics, but instead ones that are realistic for them to have in this universe!
WORLDBUILDING NOTES:
Starter pokemon are gifted by the child’s parents. Traditional starters like charmander/bulbasaur/squirtle are only available to those sponsored by a prominent pkmn lab and/or rich parents.
Having a full team is rare unless you’re a full time trainer… it’s just too expensive to house and feed them. On a similar note, shinies are basically unheard of unless you’re stupidly rich.
Pokemon journeys are still considered a rite of passage, but aren’t a universal experience. Not everyone participates, and those who do usually only get 1-2 badges before quitting. The average age for new trainers is around 13-16, though legally you can start at 10.
Amity Park is a ghostly hot spot just like Kanto’s lavender town. There are a few gravesites, but not nearly enough to justify the amount of activity it receives.
The ghost zone primarily contains “dead” ghosts, but “living” ghost pkmn are attuned to the zone and use natural portals to traverse the world.
The Fenton family’s pokemon are all either dark or normal type, for type effectiveness and immunity against ghosts respectively. Any pokemon they give to their children will follow the same type theme in the hopes that they will join the ghost hunting business.
Danny:
was very excited to start his pkmn journey, but with his new ghost instincts demanding he protect Amity Park, he can’t see it happening anymore. Also, while Zorua gradually grows more confident and helps Danny with ghost fights, it still hates having human attention drawn to it and wouldn’t enjoy the publicity of gym battling.
is friends with loads of ghost pkmn, but he never officially catches any besides zorua. They’re residents of his haunt, not his teammates.
if the accident didn’t happen, his starter would either be hoothoot (because of spooky from the initial show concept) or a common dog like poochyena or lillipup… the Fentons spent all their money getting jazz a fancy eevee so Danny’s starter wouldn’t be nearly as impressive :’) rowlet would only be a possibility if gifted from Vlad, though Danny’s parents wouldn’t approve as it evolves into a ghost type.
Sam:
is very anti-battling at first. She felt that battling was abusive and was probably very loud and in your face about it lol. However, Bulbasaur loves to battle and wants to use it as a way to get stronger and evolve, so after a messy disagreement, Sam begins to see it in a healthier light. She still advocates for better pkmn rights, but is careful not to speak over those she’s defending.
would probably join team Aqua, Magma, or Plasma for at least half a day before realizing theyre evil lolol. (then she’d work with Danny and Tucker to defeat them on the exact same day)
Bulbasaur has a lengthy pedigree and comes from a line of contest winners. Neither it nor Sam have any interest in continuing that tradition though.
is the most likely person in the DP cast to become the champion.
Tucker:
is neutral on gym battling. He thinks the concept is cool and likes watching the championships on TV, but is way too much work to actually participate in. His pokemon feel the same and are happy just helping with his electronics.
is obsessed with Silph Co technology rather than new PDAs. He’s always buying their newest gadgets, even if he doesn’t have a proper use for them.
babies the hell out of his pokemon. helioptile is his little angel who can do no wrong and he’s always shielding it from dangerous situations (which becomes a bit of an issue as ghost fights increase in frequency.) With rotom, hes always double checking that its comfortable in his phone, if it wants to possess anything else, if he should upgrade its appliances, etc etc.
Jazz:
never went on a pokemon journey. She thought it was a waste of time since she didn’t want to become a trainer anyway. However, ghost hunting helps Jazz discover her own love of battling, so now she kinda regrets it.
eevee eventually evolves into sylveon. Its prehensile ribbons help Jazz multitask and its empathetic nature assists Jazz with psychology. Also it can scare away Vlad’s dragons lolol. Maybe it evolves in the middle of a fight against him?
if she gets any other teammates, it should reflect her desire to keep Danny safe. Maybe a honedge? usually Danny’s the one with a sword in fanon, but i think jazz deserves one too!!!
#danny phantom#danny fenton#pokemon#zorua#sam manson#tucker foley#hisuian zorua#bulbasaur#helioptile#pixel art#pixelart#animation#for the record that's a hisuian zorua disguising itself as an unovan variant...its not half-hisuian half-unovan lol#i started halfheartedly thinking abt sam and tuckers starters in a pkmn au and next thing i knew i had 1k words written for it#never gonna do anything w it but it was fun#re:readmore i'm not satsfied w jack's pokemon team but i couldnt find anything fitting within his type restrictions U_U o well#dp x pkmn
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Diggers // Dating Headcanons
Note// I gotta write this since i successfully managed to bring him home;;; 🥺
____
Diggers is canonly a hippie. He is based on them, his voice lines often tell how peace is better than war- I don't have the mind to interpret him with many kinds of hippies stereotypes because I'm still skeptical about some things that I don't even know better- 🤔🫠
There may even be misunderstandings because it actually really happened to the hippies from the 60s sometimes -
Diggers cherishes the times he gets to talk with you, always looking forward to seeing every day and getting to know you...
He is even eager to share his passions while he learns to understand yours as well. He has always been accepting and non-judgmental, ever since you first met. No matter the flaws.
It's probably how he treats everyone because of his moral standards- but it's also more than that... because it's you.
He definitely senses something different about you the moment your fingers touched..
You're his muse, "the sunlight from the mornings, the starlight of the night.... his whole universe." Yes, he said that to you once once--- 😭🫠🥺
But well, he loves showing some of his works of art - well, only the ones he managed to keep. He most likely does graffiti and flower power aesthetics.
Imagine there is a time you two painted a mark of your initials inside a heart with a paint spray on the same bench you both sat in where you first met each other--- it would be fate for sure smh;;;;
Hangouts usually would be staying with him at the back of his van with the doors open, so the windy day can go through. You sometimes lay down on the carpet he places down. You would hear him play his guitar as he sits across from you, serenading you with his slow, soothing tunes.
The sight of the grassfield's landscape can be seen from the van's back seat, along with the small silhouette of London from afar. Once Diggers stops playing, he tends to place his hand on your head and give it headpats... slowly massaging your scalp after as you try to stay awake.
He loves pampering you in his own way, letting you rest with him during lazy days.
He is a sweet, laid-back lover... He trusts you enough that his jealousy levels are low to none just by simply thinking of the many things that can make you feel safe and happy with him- having himself being part of your life is already an honor to him.
But of course, I can imagine he would be like a kicked puppy whenever you ignore him for too long... like not seeing for 3 days can already make him feel droopy;;;
You'll do a lot of outdoor activities with Diggers when dating him-- he would always say things like like "be one with the forest" or "connect with mother nature" while making you these pretty flower crowns to adorn them on your head,,,
Camping in a forest is one of the common things you two do, Diggers knowing lots of things about how to survive in the wild while only having his van as a refuge.
Don't underestimate for his slender figure!!! He can even name you many kinds of herbs, flowers, and berries. Even point out the ones that are venomous or poisonous. He can't do math or this deep insight science, but at least he is knowledgeable in certain fields.
This is just me, but I love a Diggers giving his s/o the passenger princess treatment. No more questions/ih
He talks to you in a very honeyed and flowery voice, you don't even know if he's ever angry at you even while being this upset---(to be true, he never brings himself to be angry at you-- it wouldn't be cool) With how he calls you "Honey", "Baby ", "Love", and so much more, you'll probably need a sleeping bag because man, his voice;;;
He is very affectionate - maybe a bit touchy even. Lots of hugs, kisses, hands on the small of your back, waist, or hip - he always has this tendency of keeping a hand on you when you're around.
If you give him the consent(because consent is beautiful✨️), he doesn't feel embarrassed when pulling you to his lap or holding you so close from behind around anyone.
His holds are meant to be pure and innocent. Having your bodies touch helps him charge his batteries from any stress he ever has to experience in a fast-faced world you both are living in.;;😔
He always likes to carefully plant soft kisses on your forehead, eyelids, cheeks, hands, and shoulder,,, (neck if he really wants to make out with you;;; 👉👈 *gets bonked for not being normal *) Lots of smooching when he finds the lovely opportunity.
He is 100% honest with you, never lies at all. Even would tell you his honest opinions in a sincere, half-hearted manner. Otherwise, it would be against his principles of a peace and love relationship. He wants to love you unconditionally no matter the future struggles that may happen between you two. Always avoiding toxicity and any form of hate towards you.
He loves taking care of his body, eating natural and non-processed food as possible, and going on vegetarian diets. He wants to share his little routines with you, if you want to, of course,,, it is pretty much a way he shows that he enjoys living life with you and taking care of you if you allow him to once in a while. It's like a sign of building trust for him. 🥺
It's so cute when he wants to try and persuade you to try these vivid color clothes with lots of patterns on it, even having these flower matching Keychains.;;
No matter the path you want to go to, he'll always support you and your choices,,, he'll encourage you to do anything your heart desires to achieve, as long as you're true to yourself. 🥺✨️
Overall! He is such a walking green flag. What else can I say to support that? You probably might have more ideas, and the floor is always open for them, my friends 😌✨️💅
#diggers x reader#r1999 diggers#reverse 1999 diggers#r1999 x reader#r1999#reverse 1999 x reader#reverse: 1999#reverse 1999
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just asking for advice, you're not forced to answer ofc
i struggle a lot with motivation, when i force myself to do things, it just doesn't feel right, and i feel so guilty about it, things like going to school or even brushing my teeth, it's all pointless and physically exhausting
idk if i'm just lazy or smt
anyway, any tips for folks with low motivation?
Hello, love! Thank you for your patience. Motivation is such a common struggle. I use some unconventional study and motivation tactics personally, as someone with ADHD and Dyslexia I have to get through a lot of nonsense to do basic things. First, you are not lazy! The idea today of laziness is very frustrating to me, and I feel is built on capitalist (and white supremacist) ideals. See the NAP Ministry.
According to The (USA) National Library of Medicine, "Executive dysfunction is commonly seen in major depression. The types of executive deficits seen in depression include problems with planning, initiating, and completing goal-directed activities." Anyone struggling with depression, whether an episode or long-term can struggle with these basic tasks. So how can we deal with this?
Some different techniques that may help:
Talk through the tasks you need to do out loud. You can discuss them in linear order or not. Don't focus on making them perfect and detailed, just explain it like you would to a friend.
Explain what you are doing as if someone is watching you/you're teaching someone. This is how I motivate myself when studying/working out/etc. and shows you that you do know what you are doing.
Break tasks down into smaller pieces to help them be more manageable, or simplify the ones that seem too complicated. (For this I need to do x, then y, then z. I don't need to overthink brushing my teeth, it's okay to just go do it.
Ask someone to be your accountability buddy. Body doubling/parallel play can be very useful. I ask my partner to brush his teeth with me so I have someone else there.
Accept that you don't need to do 100% of everything. You can't brush, floss, and use mouthwash? Okay brush for even just thirty seconds, it's better than nothing!
Utilize tools, but don't try to make it fancy. Aesthetics can be helpful and motivating, they can also apply pressure to make everything look good. Google Calendar or a messy notebook is good enough.
Surrounds tasks with cushioning time to relax. Even for little tasks, you can promise yourself rest before and after. Likewise, do enjoyable things during arduous tasks. Watch a silly video, playa. song!
Consider what the biggest obstacle is. Does it feel pointless? Do you want to do it? If not, why not? How can you change what is making you avoidant? If you do want to, what feels like it's stopping you? A specific fear? Or an impenetrable wall? These questions help define the next steps.
Accept you cannot do everything, especially not when you are suffering. You deserve help and it's okay to ask for it. Professional help is important when conquering issues with motivation whether from depression, ADHD, etc. Medications, therapy, and more can improve your mood.
Some tools I use:
Brushout - An app to help you brush your teeth for the right amount of time. Simple, and makes a nice dinging sound. Can be added as a widget to your home screen on iPhones.
Google Calendar - Also simple. Easy to click and add events and get reminders for things creeping up on you.
Mnemosyne Notebook - Ok the brand doesn't matter but the paper in this is so smooth and it makes me want to use it. But yes a notebook to organize thoughts.
Little Treats - I like to keep little snacks and treats around for working on things I have been struggling with. You don't have to wait until after, let yourself fuse joy with your efforts.
You do not need to be ashamed for struggling. No matter the reason or the manner, we all go through difficult things. Reach out, and don't give up. Feel free to ask for more information or advice again.
Best,
Evan
#asks#anon#motivation#executive dysfunction#procrastination#depressiom#adhd#education#school#studyblr#depressive episode
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Ushiten 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30
STRAIGHT TO THE POINT HUH 😭
right, this is probably gonna be the longest post I ever make on this site, let's do it
1. Who is the most affectionate?
Well, it depends what "affectionate" means in this context, but probably Tendou. I've seen that man, he's basically a Wakatoshi cheer squad even when he's one of the best players in the prefecture himself 😭
2. Big spoon / little spoon?
I think most often tendou big spoon and Ushijima little spoon, I can see Ushijima rly wanting all the affection and tendou's rly happy to give it :)
3. Most common argument?
Who's sending the next care package. They live on different continents and they LOVE sending each other stuff but they can never remember who was meant to do what. Also, what time the facetime call was scheduled at. Time zones, my dude.
4. Favourite non-sexual activity?
They are 100% a picnic, flower picking, and orchard visiting couple. They do it whenever they can, just go find a random plant and yank it around until they have what they want, whether it's because it's pretty or because it's a good ingredient. It's good bonding.
5. Who is most likely to carry the other?
There is no way Tendou's bony chocolate-making ass can still get anywhere near lifting professional athlete Ushijima, but he probably could do it when they were both teenagers, though only to shock Ushi :'). Nowadays, it's obviously Ushijima who does the lifting, plus doesn't Tendou just seem like the kind of guy who demands piggy backs???
6. What is their favourite feature of their partner's?
Eyes. See my first OTP ask :D
7. What's the first thing that changes when they realise they have feelings for each other?
Ushijima prolly starts talking about Tendou. A lot (by Ushi standards). To everyone who stands still for long enough. I can just imagine it.... Anyways, yeah, I think Ushijima would be a lot more obvious, affectionate, and would suddenly compliment Tendou's blocking out of nowhere T-T
8. Nicknames? & If so, where did they originate?
Tendou calls him ushy gushy because he thinks it's funny, and Ushijima just rolls with it 😂
9. Who worries the most?
Tendou, hands down. Ushijima has no worries, he goes with the flow. Tendou stresses about pretty much everything to some degree, and sometimes he can even infect the worry into Ushijima so they're both worrying about it 💀💀
10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?
They prolly both do this, but it seems like an Ushijima thing. He probably has a corner of his brain with "tendou" written across it and decorated with those awful little adhesive gems that get EVERYWHERE as soon as you start using them, and in that corner he keeps everything that tendou ever said or did in case it comes up again some day
11. Who tops?
At this point leave me alone, I don't wanna think abt that!!! Although logistically, Ushijima, right?
12. Who initiates kisses?
100% Tendou, but Ushijima does this thing where he taps his lips to signal he wants a kiss, and tendou RUNS over
13. Who reaches for the other's hand first?
Ushijima. Next question
14. Who kisses the hardest?
Depends on the context? It's whoever's *not* about to get in the plane, any other context I have no clue (is this what y'all think about?!)
15. Who wakes up first?
Ushijima. He's a famer, those knuckleheads are up at 4am on a lazy day
16. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?
Tendou, but tbh chocolatiers are up pretty early so he knows he can’t. Life is pain.
17. Who says I love you first?
Ushijima. He seems like the type to just say it at some random time because it’s what he was thinking about. Although, is he aware enough of the feeling to know it’s love? If not, then obviously Tendou.
18. Who leaves little notes in the other one’s lunch?
Tendou, though it’s usually just an encouragement like ‘work hard today’. Sometime he’ll put in a pun just to annoy Ushijima.
19. Who tells their family/friends about the relationship first?
This one is hard because I don’t know anything about Tendou’s family, Ushijima’s is a bit of a mess, and they share the same friendgroup. I think Tendou would probably get excited and talk about it with all the friends though, so I’ll say Tendou.
20. What do their family/friends think of the relationship?
I’d love to put something like ‘about time’ but in reality it’s more like ‘really? him?’ from both sides
21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?
Tendou. Man’s French, leave him alone
22. Who cooks more/is better at cooking?
Tendou is the baker and Ushijima is the cook. If they try to leave their assigned skills, the kitchen will be a bit burnt by the end of it.
23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?
Tendou, and Ushijima probably doesn’t understand them, so it’s more a crowd-pleaser thing to prove that yes, they are actually dating, thank you, Semi.
24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during innappropriate times?
...Tendou? Probably him, and it’s probably not anything too racy, it’s just jokes about the couple they’re having lunch with.
25. Who needs more assurance?
Probably Tendou. Ushijima has fans all over the world who thirst over him constantly on twitter dot com, so Tendou probably gets pretty insecure over the relationship. I don’t think Ushijima truly understands it since cheating literally never crosses his mind, it’s physically impossible, but he gives the assurance when he sees it’s needed.
26. What would be their theme song?
Ugh, I don’t even know, I don’t have an ushiten playlist so if I make one, I’ll edit this post and add it in T-T.
27. Who would sing their child back to sleep?
Does Ushijima even know that’s a thing that’s done? So yeah, Tendou. But I do know Ushijima would be the BEST father, he’d take his child out in fields and teach them loads of cool stuff,and tell stories about fairies....
28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?
They’re probably on the phone 24/7. The Adlers are probably in the habit of going ‘hi Ushijima, hi tendou’ because they KNOW Tendou can hear them. Semi calls Tendou and puts him on speakerphone in the crowd during volleyball games so Tendou can yell along with the crowd while he watches from France.
29. One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart
it’s not a headcanon, it’s true, but they’re the only people that seem to show the other one any kind of acceptance. Both of them have been outcasts their whole life and continue to be so, in a way, when they leave highschool and live apart. I realise that the relationship itself isn’t sad, but both of them are sad by themselves so I don’t need to make it worse :’(
30. One headcanon about this OTP that mends it
THEY LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE HOUSE AND TENDOU RUNS HIS BUSINESS FROM THERE AND THEY HAVE A KID CALLED MEGUMI WITH RED HAIR AND USHIJIMA’S EYES AND THEY PAINTED THE NURSERY TOGETHER AND TENDOU THREW PAINT ALL OVER USHIJIMA AND USHIJIMA LAUGHED AND NOW MEGUMI LIVES THERE AND THEY READ BOOKS TOGETHER EVERY NIGHT AND THEY PLAY VOLLEYBALL AFTER SCHOOL AND THEY HAVE AN APPLE TREE IN THE GARDEN
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My headcanons for Blindsight vampire consciousness/internal experience:
This post makes a good introduction to my ideas about what Blindsight vampires are like, so I recommend reading it before reading this; just about everything in there is part of my headcanons for what Blampires are like, a lot of what I write here is basically an elaboration on the ideas there.
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""That too," Sarasti admitted, and looked right at me.
For the first time, I looked right back. And felt a shock of recognition.
I still wonder why I never saw it before. For all those years I remembered the thoughts and feelings of some different, younger person, some remnant of the boy my parents had hacked out of my head to make room for me. He'd been alive. His world had been vibrant. And though I could call up the memories of that other consciousness, I could barely feel anything within the constraints of my own.
Perhaps dreamstate wasn't such a bad word for it…" - Blindsight.
This makes it sound like vampires just don't have many intense emotions. I think this would fit well with my idea that vampires are very lazy creatures because they're basically built around keeping their metabolism as low as possible, and they're much less playful than humans (with play being broadly defined to include things like art, abstract curiosity, fantasies, and non-reproductive sex) because play is a product of surplus energy.
An idea I like here is this high priority on energy conservation/laziness extends to the way vampires think; they are much less prone to recursive thoughts, fantasies, daydreaming, idle musings, idle reminiscence, etc.. Their consciousness is very "in-world"; they are very focused on situational awareness and on matters directly relevant to their survival or social or reproductive success. This has some drawbacks, I think beings like this would tend to be kind of uncreative and mentally rigid compared to humans, but in a way it makes their brains more efficient; they are much less distracted/distractable and efficiently devote all or most of their cognitive resources to the highest priority matters at hand.
Ancient vampires probably had an activity pattern common in carnivores and low-metabolism ectothermic animals, of long periods of low activity punctuated by short periods of intense activity. I think this also might extend to how vampires think. By default most of the time they aren't doing much and don't really need those big brains for much, so they just kind of... put most of their brains in standby mode. Vampire mental and emotional life follows the patterns of a predator activity cycle: long periods of dull stupor punctuated by short bursts of brilliance and passion. When a vampire's brain comes fully on-line they are a brilliant superhuman genius, but most of the time they just don't have much going on up there. This was probably more true for ancient vampires than modern ones; modern vampires must to some extent accommodate themselves to the structure and demands of human society and probably spend more time "fully awake" (I wonder if they find this tiring?).
Actually, I think it'd be very on-brand if vampires by default spend most of their lives in a sort of very shallow open-eye sleep similar to the way cats sometimes sleep. During this state they would still be aware of their surroundings and would still have enough mental activity to recognize situations in which they need to wake up, and they might have a degree of high-function somnambulism (e.g. an ancient vampire mother might be able to let its offspring suckle and hold it to keep it from wandering out of line of sight, and I think it's not too outrageous to imagine a modern vampire might be able to get out of bed, use the toilet, take a shower, make and eat some ramen, brush its teeth, clean the bowl and pot and spoon, and go back to bed all without waking up), but they wouldn't have much else going on "up there."
One implication of that is the line between sleep and wakefulness might be much fuzzier for vampires than for humans. Let's suppose the modern vampire in the previous example gets a phone call while it's getting back into bed. It checks the phone, recognizes the name of its human boss on the caller ID, and immediately recognizes this as a situation that requires higher cognitive activity and wakes itself up. Once awake, it clearly remembers what it was doing, experiencing, and thinking when in shallow open-eye sleep and experiences no real discontinuity between the two states, its mental activity has simply increased. It spends a split second mentally reviewing the current work flow situation and deciding if it really needs to take this call, and decides it can be safely ignored. It promptly falls back into very shallow open-eye sleep, puts the phone on its bedstand, and tucks itself back into bed. A similar scenario might play out when an ancient vampire in open-eye sleep sees its sister and its mate enter the family hidey-hole empty-handed after an unsuccessful hunt.
Vampires might experience many gradations of consciousness as their brains finely adjust their brain activity level depending on the cognitive demands of the situation. I think vampires would be most conscious when they are socializing, when they are hunting or fighting, and when they are otherwise dealing with complex and unpredictable situations.
Note: in this model vampires do kind of just "no thoughts empty head" when they are alone or otherwise feel safe (or at least safe-ish) and have nothing in particular to do, but I think vampires would also have something very much like this behavior (mentioned in that post about owls that's one of my favorite references for possible Blindsight vampire behavior):
"In many ways, an owl is very much a wise animal because they devote all their time to silently observing. What people mistake as the bird simply “zoning out” is actually the bird analyzing everything it’s hearing and seeing. They don’t need to look around to observe, their ears see even more than their very keen eyes. They make silent note of everything you do in their presence, and if you misstep and cross them, they will remember it."
In social situations vampires are very much doing that! Blindsight itself mentions this as a vampire behavior:
"So, what are they like?" Pag asked.
"Vampires? I don't know. Just met my first one yesterday."
"And?"
"Hard to read. Didn't even seem to be aware of his surroundings sometimes, he seemed to be... off in his own little world."
"He's aware all right. Those things are so fast it's scary. You know they can hold both aspects of a Necker cube in their heads at the same time?"
This essay is a real-world reference I often turn to when thinking about how to write superhumanly intelligent characters (Blampires, Known Space Protectors, WH40K Primarchs, etc.), and in the context of thinking about how vampires might experience a much fuzzier boundary between sleep and waking consciousness something in it draws my eye:
"My first memories, from age 2-3, are what other people call a dream; my first recalled body-shape was not human. I was a horse who woke up as a human child! I've never had much trouble recalling dreams, including those from REM states earlier in the night, which in normal people fade out or get overwritten by later cycles in the night. I won't bother listing all the peculiarities of prodigal dreaming that I think exist--after all, I've posted a thousand dreams as examples. In brief, the dream-state for prodigies is clearer and very different from the state described by normal and gifted people, and even may differ physically."
If vampires have something like this, having more vivid and realistic dreams that feel more like waking consciousness and being able to recall them in more detail and clarity on waking, that would fit well into the "line between sleep and wakefulness might be much fuzzier for vampires" idea.
I suspect a big thing consciousness is good for in hominids is social stuff; to figure out how other people will react to you and how to get them to act the way you want them to act it really helps to have a model of yourself! So, a lot of what you have to do to be socially intelligent is, you have to build accurate models of your own mind and the minds of others and imagine how they'll interact. And isn't that a lot like dreaming? I think very intelligent beings who experience many fine gradations of consciousness, are often most conscious during social interactions, and experience waking consciousness and dreams as subjectively similar might have something like this thought, so something like this idea might have been part of ancient vampire cultural lore. I think, rather than the human awake/asleep dichotomy, ancient vampire culture may have thought in terms of a spectrum with deep dreamless sleep at one pole and the sort of consciousness experienced in dangerous and complicated social situations at the other. In this spectrum, very shallow open-eye sleep might be close to the deep dreamless sleep pole, while complex social interactions, hunting rapture, and the dreams experienced during deep sleep would be close to the hyperconsciousness pole. Ancient vampires may have seen waking consciousness and the dreams experienced in sleep as closely related and kindred phenomena, and even used the same word for both states!
In the Blindsight elsewhere fic set around 8,000 BCE that I'm working on, I "translate" the word my vampire characters use for humans as "Dreamers," and that's the context for that. In their language and culture it has connotations of "fully awake a lot" but also "lost in their own heads a lot, tending to pay more attention to imaginary constructs than to the real things in front of their faces" (they see humans' inferior situational awareness as partly a product of that, and they aren't wrong!). The phrase somebody in their culture might use for "I miss my recently deceased partner and I can't stop thinking about them and I think I might be engaging in maladaptive perseveration about them" would more accurately translate as "[Speaker's name] wanders the pastward dream-paths like a Dreamer, seeking [dead spouse's name] there" (modern vampires do the perpetual present tense thing, you bet old vampires had weird ways of talking about time and memory!).
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"He never uses the past tense," I murmered.
"Huh? Oh, that." Pag nodded. "They never experience the past tense. It's just another thread to them. They don't remember stuff, they relive it."
"What, like a post-traumatic flashback?"
"Not so traumatic." He grimaced. "Not for them, at least." - Blindsight.
So, the way I interpret this is vampires have very vivid and detailed memories and imaginations, to the point that remembered and imagined experiences are often about as subjectively real to them as their real-time sensory inputs. For instance, when a vampire remembers holding a glass, at least if it's concentrating on the memory, it feels like touching a real physical object; it experiences the weight, the resistance of the glass against its fingers, the coldness, etc.. A vampire with its brain running at anything remotely close to full capacity is experiencing very detailed and vivid subjective worlds of memory and imagination parallel to the "real world." If a human had memory and imagination that worked like this I think it would cause very disabling sensory and intellectual overload and they'd become very "lost in their head," it'd be like having the sensory input from three or six different bodies pumped into your brain simultaneously, but vampires have the sensory processing capacity and intelligence to deal with multiple subjective worlds simultaneously with no loss of functionality in the "real world."
Tangential aside: vampires have something like HSAM as part of their standard neurotype; they remember the past in much more detail than (most if not all) humans, and they're very fast learners.
Modern vampires have perpetual present tense as a signature linguistic quirk, and I think ancient vampire language and culture might have conceived of memory and imagination in a sort of many-worlds-ish way, like they would talk about past times and possible future worlds as if they're physical places that you physically travel to when you think about them. Like...
An ancient vampire sentence that might be translated as "I think you'd have a roughly 20% possibility of winning that fight," might be more faithfully translated as "[Speaker's name] wanders the futureward dream paths in which [listener's name] battles [name of enemy], and in approximately one in five of the potential worlds [speaker's name] visits, [listener's name] is victorious."
An ancient vampire name that might be roughly translated as Strategist might more accurately be translated as "far-ranging scout of the futureward dream paths."
An ancient vampire that recently lost a long-term companion and was admitting to a common ancient vampire grief behavior might say something best translated as "[Speaker's name] wanders the pastward dream paths, seeking past worlds where [dead person] lives, to spend time in [dead person]'s company."
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This post pretty well outlines my headcanons for how vampires experience, relate to, and express (or don't express) pain.
I'd also add to it: when a vampire is hunting, enraged, or afraid, it enters a state kind of like dothe and the limiters that normally exist keep it from doing things that might damage its body are overridden; in that state it can be a lot less responsive to pain than normal, but it's still aware of injuries and would prefer to avoid damaging its body.
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An idea I like, drawing inspiration from that post about owls, is vampires are actually kind of delicate, nervous, and fearful creatures, but this isn't obvious to humans because vampires don't express distress the way a human would. Vampire instincts and reflexes are built around the assumption that adult vampires can't count on receiving help or mercy if injured or sick and are likely to face situations where showing visible signs of pain would be worse than useless as it would alert enemies to their increased vulnerability. Vampire children in distress may cry out, but vampire adults instinctively hide vulnerability and express distress by flight, hiding, or aggression.
A predator's life involves careful risk/reward calculations and is in a way inherently more precarious than a plant-eater's life because it feeds higher up the food chain, where less calories and biomass are available (but what is available is more concentrated); an effective predator is not a hyperaggressive berserker, but a careful and cautious killer that avoids unnecessary fights and avoids fights against strong victims/enemies (this is why predators prefer to attack sick, injured, old, immature, or otherwise weak victims; ancient vampire predation likely followed a similar pattern, and I suspect that they also preferentially targeted socially vulnerable humans as many human serial killers do). Humans would be a nightmare to have as an obligate prey item: we're smart, we make weapons, we work in groups, we plan ahead with long time horizons, we seek revenge, and we hold grudges. Vampires were probably often quite dangerous to each other, competing fiercely for the very limited trophic space available in their very narrow and insecure ecological niche (as well as for normal animal points of contention such as mating opportunities). So I think vampire instincts would be very built around helping them survive in a very dangerous world. A vampire instinctively wants to hide most of the time, especially from humans, and if it can't do that it feels uncomfortable and unsafe. Vampires like to be alone in small private chambers with locked doors; there they can relax in a place where they are not seen and they are protected from potential enemies, in conditions that approximate the claustrophobic tomb-like hidden den of an ancient vampire individual or family. A vampire feels unsafe and uncomfortable in a place like a busy street, where it's surrounded by humans and clearly visible and can't be sure it'll be able to easily hide if it has to. Vulnerability tends to make vampires feel unsafe and uncomfortable, especially if other people are around; a sick or injured vampire being tended and given medical attention by humans is a nervous, skittish, prickly vampire. Vampires are instinctively nervous and uncomfortable around other people unless it's an individual they have formed a very close relationship with; if you were an ancient vampire, just about the only thing more dangerous to you than a human was a vampire who wasn't part of your family.
I think a plausible downside of those splendid vampire senses is vulnerability to sensory overload. For instance, I think going into a bar might have been a very disagreeable experience for Valerie. Being in a crowded space full of humans with no guarantee of an easy exit or hiding place would make her nervous and uncomfortable. But also, there might be loud music, bright and flashing or moving lights, maybe a TV on or whatever the Blindsight era equivalent is, a lot of people talking, and all those drinks and food and sweaty humans in a confined space might be quite pungent. This would tend to blur out softer sounds and make it harder to infer the sources of subtle scents and would fill her neural circuits with junk data, force her brain to work harder to assemble a detailed and accurate model of her environment. This would be a kind of vulnerability, so she'd find it very disagreeable; it would make her nervous and uncomfortable. I think this might be a common experience for modern vampires; a modern city probably has a lot more bright and flashing and moving lights and a lot more fast-moving objects, and lot more loud, persistent, and complex background noise than anything ancient vampires regularly had to deal with (closest equivalent might have been an ancient vampire who lived near a big waterfall and had to filter out its constant roaring). In this vampires might have experiences in common with autistic people. Humans in ancient times likely had anti-vampire defense tactics that exploited vampire vulnerability to sensory overload.
Hmm, does this remind you of Sarasti's theory about Scramblers interpreting human signals as a malicious attempt to make them waste cognitive resources trying to understand nonsense? He wouldn't be the first neuroatypical person to project his own frustrations with a society not built for people like him onto the alien!
As I said in that post about the broken arm scene in Echopraxia I linked to earlier, I think it's interesting to look at Valerie's behavior through the lens of "distress in vampires is often expressed as aggression." Two prominent examples of her "scary" behavior happen in situations that I think would be very disagreeable for a vampire. When she's nervous and uncomfortable, she tries to make you afraid of her.
I think divide and conquer might be another example of this. In Echopraxia, Peter Watts implies a connection between divide and conquer and the vampire facial recognition function. The way I interpret that is: when a vampire recognizes another vampire face, this triggers a reflexive surge of fear (and maybe also anger, which would likely be triggered by fear of a stranger anyway). Echopraxia implies that in modern vampires this reflex may have been deliberately strengthened by a genetic tweak, to make them less able to cooperate with each other, but I prefer to interpret divide and conquer as primarily a matter of nurture. The crucial difference is that ancient vampires got to socialize with other vampires while they were children. By doing this, a vampire would get training early in life to emotionally self-regulate when the fear reflex hit, and it would develop positive associations with the faces of its family that would counterweight the fear, and its memory would become filled with examples of the presence of others of its own kind having benefits as well as dangers which it could remember when the fear reflex hit. The fear reflex is likely weaker in young vampire children and gradually strengthens as a vampire matures, so by socializing with other vampires from infancy onward a vampire would get to gradually acclimate. Modern vampires are isolated from other vampires during childhood, so they don't get any of this, and they don't have experience dealing with other people as smart, strong, and fierce as themselves, which makes that experience scarier to them. If a modern vampire gets put in a room with another vampire they are unable to self-regulate emotionally and go into a sort of panic attack where they become completely focused on escaping from or destroying the perceived threat. The fact that they probably know this happens when two vampires get put into the same room doesn't help; they are expecting the other vampire to attack them very soon, and they are expecting any attempts they might make to self-regulate out of reflexive aggression to fail, and they are thinking maybe they should attack first so they have first mover advantage, so it becomes something of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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I think vampire children might seem a lot more human-like than vampire adults, at least in some ways. I think vampire children would probably have much higher metabolisms than vampire adults, because they're still growing. Their brains would also be highly active more often, because they're still in their high-intensity learning phase of life. Play is a signature behavior of highly intelligent animals, a kind of learning strategy, so I think it's very likely that vampire children played. I think they'd like games that kind of simulate hunting; they'd love hide and seek, modern small vampire children would like chasing laser pointers and wind-up mice like a house cat, and ancient vampire children probably often got their start as hunters by chasing and killing small animals as a kind of game that doubled as a way to acquire snacks. Vampire children would probably be more sociable and in some ways friendlier than vampire adults, as in ancient vampire society they'd need to socialize with their elders to learn from them and they'd be dependent on older members of their social group (being more sociable would also tend to lead to their brains being highly active more of the time).
Put this together with my ideas about how vampire brains work, and this means when vampires reach adulthood they'd have an experience similar to Siri:
"For all those years I remembered the thoughts and feelings of some different, younger person, some remnant of the boy my parents had hacked out of my head to make room for me. He'd been alive. His world had been vibrant. And though I could call up the memories of that other consciousness, I could barely feel anything within the constraints of my own." - Blindsight.
I love how that would add a poignant new dimension to that scene! Something like that happened to Sarasti too, but for him it was a normal and inevitable consequence of his biology, a normal part of growing up!
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From that prodigies essay:
"For example, I've noticed that the normal and the gifted treat thought and feeling as somehow antagonistic. I see this from the outside, but I don't get it. When I use abstract concepts they aren't defenses against feeling; words and ideas don't push me away from passion. Why should they? Logic and abstractions go back to my infancy. Analysis was part of my everyday flow as a small child, it was part of the feelings. Images too: if I try to express what I feel deeply about, I'm likely to use a dream image, not emotional labels, for such images are realer to me than normal people's language."
I really like the idea that vampires are like this, with the kind of belligerent twist you'd expect from them. A vampire doesn't experience fear, anger, or bloodlust as pushing it away from rational thought. Vampire terror, rage, or hunting rapture is a kind of terrible analytical calm focus; they are thinking clearly, they are highly aware of their environment and tracking many variables, they are capable of intricate and brilliant tactical and strategic thought, and their intelligence is very focused on the matter of hand. Terror, rage, and hunting rapture actually make a vampire smarter, because when a vampire is in those states its metabolism is running hot and its brain is freely burning glucose with all the energy-conservation limiters that normally limit its intelligence overridden.
I really like how beautifully that idea fits with Sarasti's wall of simulated screaming faces; they'd help him think better by triggering his predatory instinct! This also suggests another interpretation or layer of the broken arm scene in Echopraxia: Valerie is using self-harm as a kind of meditation technique, making herself smarter by deliberately inflicting pain and distress on herself while also tempting herself with a situation that triggers her predatory instincts (close proximity to a human who's obviously afraid of her). This is making me imagine other ways she might baffle and disturb the humans around her by indulging in this habit; like, imagine she's in a conference and she just casually breaks two of her own fingers while you're talking to her, or she comes out of her meditation chamber having very obviously slashed her arms with a knife a bunch of times while she was in there.
I think there's some definite dark comedy potential in the basically harmless but ridiculously edgelord productivity hacks modern vampires might develop if you go with the model!
With this model of vampire cognition, insofar as fear, anger, and bloodlust can cause a lack of self-control in vampires, it's subtler than how it happens in humans; a sort of temporary intellectual tunnel vision. For instance, the hyperaggression/panic attack that happens when two modern vampires are in close physical proximity isn't panic in the sense humans think of it, a vampire in that situation is still thinking clearly and intelligently, but its intelligence is totally focused on eliminating the threat posed by the other vampire. You might be able to goad a vampire into making a long-term strategic mistake by making it really angry, but you'd never be able to use that tactic to goad it into rushing you when it'd be immediately tactically smarter for it to hold back.
Regarding the images thing: I think it also would be very on-brand if vampire cognition is very "thinking in pictures"; they primarily think in images, emotions, and sense-impressions, with words being secondary and used more for communicating their ideas to others than to structure their own thoughts. Since vampires are less social than humans I think it'd make sense if they have slower childhood language acquisition than humans (especially relative to the length of their childhood, which I think would likely be shorter than ours), and that would likely contribute to this; they'd get more grounding in the physical before learning language and they'd have more time to develop strong habits of thinking without words. Slower language acquisition but high intelligence and mostly faster brain development would synergize with this; the vampire brain would do more of its development in silence (or, more precisely, in wordlessness - language would be only a small part of the rich world of sound that would be perceptible with vampire hearing!). I can't remember a time before I had language, and I expect I'm pretty typical for humans in that. A vampire might vividly remember what it was like to have no language and what it was like to acquire it from that starting point.
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Vampires are sociopath-adjacent, but I think they must have some capacity for altruism cause otherwise it's hard to imagine how any ancient vampire survived their childhood. I guess vampires might have some sort of evolutionary fairy human "breeding instinct," but they're closely related to humans so I think it's more parsimonious to think they just have the same neurological features that motivate humans to care for their children. This implies vampires have some capacity for affection.
My interpretation is vampires are usually fundamentally selfish in their actions and relationships, but they are capable of genuinely affectionate relationships with people they're very close to (though these relationships probably often still look kind of weird and scary by human standards). I think the easiest, safest, and most reliable way to get two vampires to like each other in this way might be for them to socialize extensively with each other while one or both of them was still a child, so childhood imprinting of this sort may have played a very big role in ancient vampire sociality. I also have an idea that vampire mothers might imprint something on their offspring during gestation that causes the mother and offspring to feel "warm fuzzies" when they smell each other's scent, encouraging them to bond, and this effect might also be transitive to more distant matrilineal relatives; that might also have been important in ancient vampire sociality.
I think modern vampires might have a lot fewer close relationships than ancient ones because they don't get childhood imprinting with others of their own kind. Presumably they had human caregivers when they were children, but I think the imprinting might not properly take then, like a vampire child might be intuitively seeing human adults as prey and threats rather than elders to look up to, especially as they start to become stronger and smarter than us and the humans around them start to get increasingly obviously afraid of them. As a consequence, modern vampires might be a lot closer to being pure sociopaths.
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Do you ever go through those times when things take a really big emotional toll on you, and then there are a string of days where you just go through the motions for the things you have to do, but then with the things you want to do, it's super hard to find the energy for them? That's where I'm at right now. I have like three different big WIP things I've been chipping at slowly but I keep getting annoyed at myself for not doing them fast enough even though there are reasons I legitimately need breaks from them. I feel like it's so easy to get wrapped up in how you need to be constantly productive or getting something done to the point where the guilt sort of eats at you if you're not actively doing those things, and it frustrates me bc I know it's okay to take breaks, but then a voice in my head is like "you know, you reallllllly should be working on those things. Other people would be working on those things. Do you really want to be so lazy with those?" Ughhh.
I've been really trying to give myself some leeway with it because in my personal life I have a lot happening right now that leaves me easily exhausted. Even saying that though, it somehow feels like an excuse. But at the same time, I know enough about myself and about people and productivity and emotional exhaustion in general that with anyone else I'd be like omg go take a break and take care of yourself and be loving towards yourself, but for me it's like...I'm the exception (which I know a lot of other people are also prone to doing and I kind of hate that it's so common esp in our society the way it is).
I know this is a common thing people go through so I'm kind of just venting about it a little bit, and I really want to give myself permission to put things aside without feeling so guilty about them. It's really hard to relinquish that, you know? The problem is that it's easy for me to notice when I'm feeling that way, but hard for me to actually give myself some grace over it.
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Panza posting! Just about his personality and hobbies a bit, should be pretty short compared to my normal oc posting
Panza is a very warm and charming person while also being quite imposing. He may be a far more humble emperor than the rest of his bloodline, but he still gleefully indulges in the luxury that comes with being royalty. Fine fabrics, expensive outings, golden shimmering jewelry, and of course spoiling his friends and favorites of all varieties.
I wouldn't call him lazy, because he does get up to quite a lot of stuff and has imperial duties to perform (mostly meeting with advisors and approving things like treaties or budgets, and occasionally hosting valuable guests for various political reasons). That being said, he certainly knows the value of relaxation. He's a man who likes to take it easy, not get too stressed or caught up in the small details until they really matter. He's a big-picture kinda guy. He and Vesper help balance each other out, because Vesper's very detail-oriented.
When he's not working Panza spends a lot of his time enjoying quiet but skillful activities. Painting is a particular favorite of his, but he's also a big reader and, in the last few years, he's taken an interest in learning to play a few instruments (which surely has nothing to do with learning about his General's love of dance). He also loves a good board game, especially ones that are more strategic like chess or GO, and it's fairly common for him to let his opponent win if he thinks it's the right call. He's very skilled when it comes to the art of socializing. Fittingly, the last of Panza's main interests is planning and hosting elaborate events. Galas, auctions, musical events, he's a patron of the arts and delights in planning and executing a successful social gathering. He doesn't indulge in this hobby as often as he'd like since they're very expensive, but he certainly hosts enough for his events to have a reputation among other nobility and rulers.
Despite his warm and kind demeanor, Panza can be rather ruthless when he chooses to be. He's not afraid to put his foot down and make hard decisions for the good of his empire. However, nothing can draw his wrath quite like hurting or upsetting his General. He tries to keep that quiet though, knowing that Vesper doesn't want attention drawn to something like that.
I won't get into it much, but Panza's got a somewhat strained relationship with his mother the Empress Dowager. She no longer holds any real political power, but due to the rules of succession, she remains one of his advisors. She deeply disapproves of how he's running things and thinks it's only a matter of time before things start falling apart. She was highly focused on political ruthlessness and imperialism while Panza has dedicated a lot of resources to opening peaceful negotiations, granting some power and independence back to those they've conquered (not full independence, but they're allowed to put in place their own rulers and self-govern to some capacity. There are rules, but that's for a different post), and he's also moved their military focus from war and outposts to handling crime and safety on ESR controlled planets. Panza still treats her with kindness and patience, but internally he finds her very irritating and wishes she would go and mind her own business now that he's in charge.
#panza tag#Figured I should flesh him out a little more since the dynamic between him and Vesper is so important
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Positive and negatives of being a Teenager
Negative:
-teenagers/students tend to procrastinate more
• Teenagers can get easily distracted with gadgets and other things. Teenagers will usually put off the activity they need to do for another day so they could play video games, Chat with their boyfriend/girlfriend, And or continue anticipated series, other times they'll procrastinate just because they are lazy and will lie on bed watching TikTok all day not realizing how much time has passed by, There are more reasons on why a teenager/student will procrastinate but these are the most common reasons. And when the time comes where they have to pass the activity they will either make it under a few minutes or tell the teacher they couldn't do it and try to come up with excuses. This is a problem that a lot of teenagers have nowadays because of short attention span or mental health problems
Positive:
-having more time to explore identities and more time to try out other hobbies
• Teenagers usually have time to explore hobbies or find video games/series that they love, There are teenagers who take the time to explore their identities to try to improve themselves and have fun. But there are also teenagers who don't have time for anything because they prioritize their education. It is still important to make time to explore ones identity to determine what future waits ahead for them
Neg
-lesser time for you and others
> we have less time for ourself which means we have no time to understand ourself like
understanding your own sensations, thoughts, beliefs, values, and behaviors. Also in our family and Friends we have no time to bond with theme our have quality time with the.
Pos
-exploring new stuff that we can use in our future
> we can explore new stuff like learning communicating to others , learning new hobbies and more . Learning new stuff helps us be flexible
P- learning more as your grow old
The good thing about learning more as your grow older are educational opportunities, brain development, as a teenager you have alot of chances to do anything and enchance more of your skills and knowledge to use them in the future
N- High expectations
Almost every teenagers have a high expectations on them from their parents, friends, or family members. Expecting a teenager to be perfect in every aspect can be placed immense stress and pressure on them and can lead onto unhealthy conditions on the person
pos:
1. being able to enjoy the wonders of adolescents whether it be going with friends or finding hobbies you can still find time to enjoy and explore as you are still growing
neg:
as you get older your body will demand more rest but as a adolescent with a demanding schedule its hard to get enough sleep leading to a sleep schedule being broken leading to sleeping in different times
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Secret, dream vacation, romantic thing, self care, and crush for the ask emojis are hard and I am lazy
You are valid!
Hmmm new secret. Most of the sex dreams I've had haven't really been wet dreams per se and have mostly been plot heavy and then occasionally the sister of my ex is fucking me with a strap on? Other part of this is that there is NO rhyme or reason to who I'll have a sex dream about. It Has been someone I was attracted to once (1). I can't share all of them because some were literally disgusting and would make y'all think Differently of me. Other fun aspect is that it doesn't affect how horny i am when I wake up usually. If it's gross, I am turned off, otherwise it's
I'm a basic TMA bitch so I'm gonna say dream vacation is Scottish highlands. I'm not much of a honeymoon person even though I'm a HUGE wedding person but if pressed, I'd probably say that's where I'd want to go. But yeah, I'd still go alone so long as I could bring my cat :)
Hmmm most romantic thing? There's definitely a couple that come to mind. My ex made several Creatures for me that I cherish to this day. He also wrote me alone long love letters that made me tear up from how cared for I felt. He also really loved rings so I got him a couple for birthdays and anniversaries and before we left for college, it was super important to him he get one for me, and he did. A group of us went to a lakehouse for a weekend summer of senior year and we all went antiquing together. He found a ring there, had me try it on and gave it to me. It was just a 10 dollar ring painted gold but it meant so much to me to have that promise ring. I wore it every single day, even after he dumped me. I still have it and cherish it, like all the things he made me because although he treated me badly at the end, it means a lot to me that someone once cared about me enough to do those things for me.
Favorite self care activity? Oh there are a BUNCH. Reading comfort books/fanfic is a big one, hanging out with my cat, getting cozy in bed, having ice cream or pasta or tex mex, horror movies or parks and rec or john Mulaney. Almost all include cuddling with my so in my fantasies and plushies in reality.
Crush really depends on how serious we're talking. There are some people on here (I think yall know who you are) that I would LOVE to date but it's unlikely to work out given the Everything about our respective circumstances. As for IRL people, none at the moment. I turn 21 this November and I'll be allowed into several more kink events and I hope I'll find someone there or at my school or something, although I know it's unlikely for me haha especially since I tend to prefer people close to my age and they haven't been super common at the events I've gone to. There are definitely some people I talk to on here that if they were closer 👀👀👀👀👀👀 I'd let them do just about anything they wanted to me.
Thank you so much for the asks!
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Nano Ease Reviews - Formula for Pain Releaf Supplement
• What is Nano Ease:
Make sure you're drinking enough water every day. With seventy percent of our bodies being water, it's important that we keep hydrated. Water can keep your body loose Nano Ease Reviews and fluid rather than stiff. Staying hydrated will also keep your intervertebral disks functioning as shock absorbers to take a lot of the pressure off the rest of the body.
Try to drink about 62 ounces of water per day with your healthy diet. A nutritious and healthy diet can heal many ills and prevent many health problems. Your body will be leaner, and your joints more hydrated and better nourished. All this works together to lighten the load on your back and ease your pain.
Time constraints and often laziness result in people trying to lift things that are far out of their reach. People take these shortcuts often and daily. Make sure you move nearer to things that are very far away, and make sure to do things right.
Both very active occupations Nano Ease Reviews and also jobs in which there is minimal movement can be detrimental to your back. Constantly lifting, pushing and maneuvering in odd ways can really hurt your back and you should always pay attention to your movements. Also, not moving often enough can also cause a lot of joint pain if you do not take the proper precautions.
Going to a chiropractor can be a generally scary experience if you are not familiar. However, it is also a very eye opening and relieving experience as well. However, you should not go to just any chiropractor. Go to a well-respected one, and make sure that who touches your back is highly qualified and not messing it up further.
A good mattress is vital to a healthy back! Mattresses seem to be very expensive and even over priced in a lot of instances, but nothing should keep you from getting a good one. Do your homework, test drive the different brands available and sink some money into a serious mattress that will provide you with years of quality sleep and help alleviate joint pain!
• The Ingredients: Nano Ease
Use ergonomically designed chairs. Chairs with good back support that you don't have to struggle to get in and out of will help protect your back. A good chair will provide good support and ease any joint pain by making sure not to create more strain on your neck and back.
Whether you suffer from joint pain Nano Ease Reviews or are a caregiver for another person, following the advice in this article will give you an excellent starting point for making changes and adjustments that will lessen or eliminate your chronic pain. Do not allow joint pain to stand in your way any longer.
joint pain is very common, and there are many people that are simply living with it. Whether from a serious injury, a temporary sprain or just from the daily tugs and pulls on the body, joint pain can be hard to treat. Here are some tips for dealing with it.
Take over-the-counter pain medications first. A simple over-the-counter anti-inflammatory medication can usually take the edge off most backaches. Follow the instructions on the label, and take it as directed when your back starts acting up. If it isn't enough, consider paying a visit to your doctor.
When you have a backache, try laying on your back with your knees and hips at a 90 degree angle. This position is the most effect way to take unnecessary stress off of your joints. However, sit in the position you find most comfortable; just make sure your spine is not twisted.
• Nano Ease Customer Review:
To avoid joint pain resulting from long hours spent driving, you can use a back support or pillows to reduce the amount of shock absorbed by your back. If you cannot acquire a back support to strap to the seat, then simply placing a pillow between your lower back and the seat and between your upper back and any remaining gaps in the seat will help you to keep your back straight Nano Ease Reviews while also protecting it from shock.
It is always best to start with a basic approach to relieving joint pain. Taking it easy and resting for a couple of days can help restore mobility. While you await your joint pain to simmer down, take some anti-inflammatory medication, like ibuprofen, acetaminophen, or naproxen for some pain relief. Try putting heat or cold on the back or using both of them to help.
Having joint pain? Get a massage. Getting a back massage will ease the sore tensed muscles in your back, and help to relieve the stress of joint pain. Having a 30 minute massage either by a professional or a family member can produce long lasting relief from sore back muscles.
• Conclusion:
If you suffer from joint pain and you smoke, you need to quit as soon as possible. One of the nasty side effects of smoking is the intake of nicotine. Nicotine reduces blood flow Nano Ease Reviews throughout your body, including to your spine, and that increases your risk of joint pain.
Your doctor may recommend surgery on your back as a way to help ease your disorder or joint pain. Surgery is usually the last resort if other methods have not worked. Surgery may be the only option for certain injuries and conditions that a person might have that causes joint pain.
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Prostate Milking Guide...
By Lazy Domme,
You hear a lot about prostate milking on the web, but it’s actually much less common than it’s made out to be.
What a lot of people call prostate milking is actually just prostate massage. A prostate milking causes seminal fluid to leave the body without orgasm. It’s viewed as worse than a ruined orgasm by many who experience it. It’s a submissive experience that’s literally forced, but one that’s often done for prostate health on a chaste sub.
I want to be extra clear on what prostate milking is. Semen is literally milked out of the prostate. No erection is necessary. You can tell the difference between a milking and a massage in the way the seminal fluid leaves the body. If it squirts out in rhythmical pulses, then that was an orgasm. It doesn’t matter if there was pressure on the prostate, it was caused by an orgasm. If it dribbles out anticlimactically, then it was a milking.
Prostate milking will clear out old seminal fluid that has built up in the prostate. Normally seminal fluid is flushed during orgasm. Even if not actively having sex or masturbating to orgasm, the body will flush the prostate during wet dreams. However, when wearing a chastity device any erection can be painful and wet dreams will usually be interrupted before the body can do it’s thing. When a man is unable to orgasm, seminal fluid can become toxic. It can lead to dangerous bacterial infections, and some studies have even shown an increased risk in prostate cancer.
So then how often should you “empty” old seminal fluid? I’ve seen recommendations ranging from every week to just twice a month. I’m lucky enough to have a kink friendly doctor - not an easy find I might add - and was able to ask him personally. When I explained the situation to him, he suggested that an occasional week or two without orgasm should be fine, but if orgasms are regularly prevented for more than 7 to 10 days, then a prostate milking would probably be a good idea. But he emphasized that a milking should not be done on men who have a disease of the prostate or acute prostatitis, and then only in the case where an orgasm is really out of the question. He also said to watch for blood in the semen when milking the prostate, as that could signify I’m being too rough. I should mention that I have yet to see blood in semen when milking, and I don’t consider myself gentle by any means.
Many men find the stimulation of the prostate pleasurable. So then isn’t a prostate milking somewhat of a reward? No, not at all. Milking can actually be devastating to some men. I’ve had it explained to me as a feeling similar to orgasm, but without the pleasure or intensity. It also takes a lot of the energy out of a man’s horniness. The fullness of the prostate subconsciously makes men feel aroused. As thus, men become less horny after a milking. Since a horny sub is so much easier to deal with and enjoyable to be around, I see this as a downside to milking. In the end, subs still seem to be hornier than with the alternative to milking: an orgasm.
Unfortunately, it’s not easy to learn how to milk the prostate. It can take a while to figure it all out. Even experienced, it takes me about 5 minutes to thoroughly milk a prostate. An empty bladder will help, and a bowel movement makes your sub relax and makes the process easier and cleaner for you. You can use an enema if you prefer. There are a lot of toys out there designed to help, but I suggest you learn to do it by hand first. Prostate toys are popular for men because it can be difficult for a man to reach his own prostate, and a man can feel what the toy is doing to help guide himself. You on the other hand feel nothing with a toy, so the best way to learn is by hand. Then you can move on to other toys if it doesn’t suit you.
Start by making sure your nails have no jagged edges. You don’t have to trim them short, but if you don’t, be extra careful not to tear or scratch anything. I also strongly suggest using sterile latex gloves. Using a water based lube, insert your index finger, or your index and middle finger, into your sub’s ass. Move upward and in, almost as if you were pointing towards his belly button. You should find his prostate anywhere from 1 to 3 inches in. It’s roughly the size of a walnut, but obviously you’re only feeling the edge of it through the rectal wall. I suggest having your pet masturbate (or doing it for him) after you think you’ve found the prostate or as you feel for it, as this will make it swell a little and get harder. Getting to the edge of orgasm and stopping should make the prostate hard to miss. Another thing that might be helpful would be to get feedback from your pet, as rubbing the prostate may cause a sense of urgency to urinate. Once you’re sure you’ve found the prostate you can then massage it on both sides. We are forcing the semen out, so take your time but don’t be too gentle. The only thing to be careful with is not to put pressure on the center of the prostate, as that could potentially damage the urethra.
Once you get the hang of it, then if your still interested, get a toy to help. I like the Doc Johnson Pleasure Wand, and recommend against the popular Aneros brand of toys simply because they are so overpriced; you’re paying for the name. Really, most g-spot toys will work for milking, so there’s no need to spend a lot. Also, since pleasure isn’t your goal when milking, a vibrating toy isn’t necessary. Sometimes they aren’t even more pleasurable for your pet, as they can actually numb the prostate. If you do get a toy that can vibrate, try it out to see if it speeds up the process for you.
Some men have a refractory period after a milking and can’t get hard. However some can get hard, or if they were hard when you milked them, can keep their erection. In these cases those men can masturbate or fuck all they want without coming during what would normally be their refractory period. Of course some of those men can just come right away; either having a dry orgasm, or with one with a small amount of cum. I’m not sure why there is such a big difference in the range of responses, but it’s something for you to test out and play with if you’re looking for a fun angle, or even just a way to quickly put your sub back into a horny mindset…
Thanks to Lazy Domme and Female Supremacy
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How to Get Rich in Sims 4 Without Cheating
We probably have tried the 'ctrl + c and motherlode' option at least once in our life with this game. I used to. I'm the kind of player who always want my sim to get rich no matter what kind of scenario I eventually play, because I love to decorate, moving to one house and another.
I could get a bit idealistic at times, I found myself unsatisfied being rich through cheating. I wanted to pave my own way. Here's some of the way you can do based on what I have tried:))
1 - Publish Your Writing
*No additional pack needed
I think this is already a common knowledge. I do this almost in every family I have. The thing is, all you need is a computer. Just buy the cheapest one, I think it's around §800 or something. You can already start publishing your works once you start your game. Self-publishing only requires level 2 in the skill, writing your first book will bring you to that level, so you'll be able to publish it right away. It might be small at the beginning, like getting about §40/book each day, but at least you can earn money while also enhancing your writing skill. And once you've skilled enough, you can earn approximately §200 with excellent quality works and around §500 with the bestseller quality. Not to mention at level 9, you can start submitting your works to the literary digest, but only once per week.
Based on my experiences, the highest accumulation I could get was earning about §5k per day (I've heard someone get §10k/day) through my books royalties and I don't even need to leave the house! Plus the royalty for each book will be sent for a certain amount of days. You can play another lifestyle, get a job, travelling, or simply just be a couch potato and still earn money. You need to know that that's only for one sim, if you're determined enough, you can make all your playable sims to publish their works too, lol.
2 - Sell Your Painting
*No additional pack needed
Another activity you can try that could make you rich quite fast. This could actually be crazier than book royalties because if you're skilled enough to be able to produce high quality paintings, you can get around §500 for each painting. Imagine if you paint four of five times per day, because you can actually do that much, even more. Masterpiece is on another number, §2k-§8k or more I forgot precisely.
The difference is publishing book will be like putting only one effort and getting paid multiple times, while in painting one effort equals one payment, but with a possibly higher price per item.
3 - Work as an Investor
*No additional pack needed
You can become an investor through the business career, just choose investor branch when you're being promoted to the seventh rank. Maybe you're asking what's so special about this job? Astronauts make more money than this. The answer is, you'll get access to the stock market and are able to invest in stocks through this branch career.
I know there's a chance you'd get unlucky and lose 80% of your investment here, but keep in mind that before you start investing, make sure your sim is focused. Just in case, okay. Anyway, you get to invest up to §5k and can get §10k or someone said 2.5x more than you've invested. But this is not like royalty, you'll receive it per investment. Be wise and make your choice with this option.
I personally like this way, since Sims is only a simulator (obviously), loosing an investment isn't a big deal to me.
4 - Choose the Fabulously Wealthy Aspiration
*No additional pack needed
This is almost like a must to me, at least one of my sim has this aspiration (especially one that earns a lot). The goal is you need to finish this aspiration which (unfortunately) requires you to earn §200k at the end of its milestone. Though you can combine this option with painting or writing to make it faster. The best part comes after days of struggling, the shrewd reward trait. I'm both lazy and a sucker for money, so free income like this is exactly what I love, doesn't matter how much I get.
With shrewd reward trait, your sim will get 5% of your household funds transferred to you every week until your sim dies. The bigger the funds, the happier you'll get. I've once had a family with §6 million funds and imagine how crazy it was for me to receive §300k every week for no reason. That's where I started to have interest with fabulously wealthy aspiration.
5 - Grow Money Trees
*Season expansion pack is needed
I'm going to claim that growing money trees is the best way to be rich, this is fast and furious. Up until this point, money tree is my number one favorite. Basically, you can only have money tree from aspiration rewards store and it costs 5k of reward points, that's where you get your first challenge.
I'm going to give you the number. A normal quality money tree will produce §8k everyday, evolve it once and it'll become §11,5k, evolve it again and you'll get §15,1k, magnificent quality will produce §18,6k, and finally perfect quality which is the maximum quality you can get in Sims 4 will give you §22,2k per day. The craziest thing is those numbers are only for one tree, one fucking tree. Plus it can be planted in any season. Just improve your gardening skill or if you're lazy, you can hire a gardener.
How to get more than one tree without spending any more of your aspiration points? I've tried three options, first copypasto the money fruit/tree using magic (only if you're a spellcaster and have mastered the spell). Second move your harvestable money tree into the family inventory, you'll have several money fruits extracted from the tree. Don't sell them but plant them all. Third option is grafting your money tree onto another tree (requires level 5 gardening).
Voila!
The least you can earn is §8k per day. You have 6 of that quality, you'll get §48k a day. Take care of those plants until they evolved into perfect trees then you'll have §133,4k deposited to your funds everyday (unless you forgot to harvest the fruit). Might as well change your house everyday.
6 - Be the Burglar
It's like cheating but not technically cheating. You're just stealing, there's an effort here. There are two ways I've done, being a kleptomaniac and a spellcaster.
Kleptomaniac is a lifestyle trait, so keep in mind to choose it when you're creating a sim. Having this trait will enables your sim to steal some objects from other places. Just click the computer, musical instrument, pieces of art, etc. from your neighbors or public places, then choose "Attempt to Swipe" interaction. Do remember don't get caught! Once you back at home, sell those stuff.
Now spellcaster isn't something that everyone can do because not all have the Realm of Magic pack. But once you have that, try to be one and you'll see what other advantages you can get from doing the gameplay. Practice spells until you required Adept title (rank 4), learn the spell burgliate which enables you to acquire object that doesn't belong to you. I've stolen a computer and a bookcase from magic realm HQ, quite expensive. Better if you also learn the copypasto spell to duplicate the object. Also don't get caught with this one too!
#sims#the sims 4#sims 4#how to get rich#fast#tips#tricks#game#this is just based on my experience okee
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hawks_littledove.mp3
— You’re an avid listener to NSFW ASMR artist Hawks. It’s just your luck that he’s offered to have phone sex with you.
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pairing: takami keigo (hawks) x fem!reader
warnings: smut, 18+, slight abuse of power/influence, phone sex, masturbation, degradation, praise, nsfw asmr artist!hawks
word count: 5,018
a/n: my keyboard is broken and i could actually cry. but hey, hawks do be sexy even tho I would never trust him with my life. also LOL this might be a call out to a lot of us, do not be offended or I will cry.
kinktober day 14 main kink: phone sex | kinktober masterlist
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Fantasizing about being in relationships with fictional characters was entirely healthy and normal.
That was something you believed to the core. It was fictional; thus, no one but you were to be hurt at the end of the day. The character, being fake, could never have an opinion because you must be real in order to have an opinion. So when you were between boyfriends, you discovered a new anime, and before you could stop yourself, you fell hard for a character.
It started as a mild obsession.
You had looked up fanart via google images, your heart warming when you saw the plethora of different fanart. The anime itself had been in circulation for a few years now, the manga for much longer, so the content was endless. Then google images wasn’t enough, and you began crossing into Twitter and Tumblr.
The fanart became better, more engrossing, and definitely much more NSFW. And then, one night during your endless rabbit hole down Tumblr after your daily search on Twitter, you stilled when seeing a new type of content.
⇒ grey fullbuster x reader
The obsession grew worse.
So much so that you had followed nearly five hundred self insert writers and artists on Tumblr, and maybe seven hundred artists, meta writers, and thread makers on twitter. But three months into consuming all the content you could find, you came across a new name that made you tilt your head.
Hawks Fierce Wings
It was a name that was being repeated and heavily talked about on both sites. It was an ASMR artist, apparently, and you frowned at the thought. You didn’t have anything against ASMR videos, but you weren’t exactly sure how to handle an anime ASMR artist. Were they cosplaying while making all those weird ASMR sounds? You really didn’t have any idea, but due to the immense boredom of your lazy day in, you decided to hell with it and tried out his most popular video.
It was simply entitled: Hawks is Jealous.
Did you have any idea as to who Hawks was? God, no, you didn’t. But if it was just some random cosplay he was going to do, you didn’t think it was going to matter. So as the only slightly educated ASMR listener, you never truly became invested when it was a thing; you slipped on your earbuds and pressed play.
The introduction screen faded into an illustrated picture of a slightly handsome man, and some calming yet tense music played in the background. You shifted, eyebrows drew as you waited for the ASMR session to begin, and when it did, you were not ready.
“I saw you walking around with that asshole today,” a voice practically growled in your ear, and you froze.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
For almost an entire hour, you sat glued to your sofa, your fingers digging into your lap as the jealous, spiteful words of this man named Hawks poured bitterly in your ear. His words were a near aggravated assault on you and definitely something you were beyond uncomfortable hearing from a stranger, but there was something about his voice that kept you there. Maybe it was the tenor of his tone or the way there was this sly, cunning scent to his words that he seemed to hide deep within his throat, but there was something that kept you there.
The second the passionate, heated kissing noises and heavy moans began to spill from his lips, you screeched, slamming your laptop closed as your cheeks pounded heavily.
Oh my god?!
It took a bit, but eventually, you were able to finish the audio and quickly figured out why he was an NSFW artist. You had never, ever heard a man eat a pussy fake or real as eagerly or vigorously as he did. Your hands were gripping the pants of your leggings, and your chest heaved.
Oh, motherfucking shit.
Finding out there were almost seventy other videos for you to still experience sent you scrambling for more, and eventually, you had to confess you were obsessed. Despite the anime fandoms you had discovered him for, Hawks seemed to be more famous for the content he created as himself. His real name was unknown by the looks of it, and he was only addressed as Hawks by his audience, something you caught on to quickly. So only after creating a new profile for his Youtube account, you made quick work of liking and commenting on every single of his already published seventy-eight nearly one hour and thirty-minute videos.
Each one was different.
Each one filled with various roadmaps on how Hawks' scenarios would play out for you — the listener. When he used his own persona, he called the listener his little dove or his chicken nugget, sometimes his KFC thigh, or his shish kabob.
You were glad at the very least he didn’t call you by any of those nicknames when pretending to fuck you at a speed only a “porn-is-my-only-education-on-porn” virgin teenage boy. You knew it wasn’t ideal, usually, but for some reason, it just worked. You commented on everything, read his summaries and thoughts on each video. Eventually, when you found yourself on his final, most recent video, you were ready to go a step further.
The Patreon app on your phone seemed jarringly out of place as you opened the app and subscribed yourself to Hawks' highest tiered option for the price of twenty USD.
And when you got your access to his page, you were immersed in more heavier, better content.
It was a goldmine in a sea of fools gold, and you absolutely went insane.
You weren’t sure if you were insane, needy, or just straight-up idiotic for scrolling to the very first Patreon post and indulging in the content Hawks created.
There was a stark difference between the warnings alone between the Youtube videos and the Patreon posts. While the porn was readily accessible on Youtube, the kinkiest thing that ever happened in a video was a slight implication that Hawks had left the listener on a vibrator and fuckmachine as he went to go talk to the visiting neighbors.
It was a slight, tiny zone out and miss a detail, but one you had clung onto like an obsessed psycho and even commented on in your comment on the post. Of course, Hawks hadn’t responded, not that you had ever expected him to because all things considered, a video that was eight months old and hadn’t done that well, to begin with, didn’t seem like anything he would remember: notifications and all.
But Patreon? Oh good, sweet, ravishing Patreon.
The very first video was of the following:
Stepbrother!Hawks fucks Stepsister!Listener in the stairwell during Christmas Dinner.
After praying and swearing to all the deities of the world that you were merely a person with a voice kink for this man and not, in fact, a perverted pseudo-incest worshiper, you clicked on it and began. It was downright sinful.
There were active voices whispered in the background as Hawks laughed about how fucking slutty you were for letting your brother fuck you like this. In the hallway, like a dog, where anyone in your joint family could walk out into. He laughed that you probably wanted it, how your wet ass pussy was greedily sucking him in, so how could you even begin to deny your lust for your brother.
You had to take a break five times during that audio.
Eventually, you do end up catching up.
Each video he had ever posted to your disposal, and most likely due to the different tier levels, you always commented on the videos. Even if it made you feel awkward for lusting over things months old, even if there were no other comments on the videos, which was much more common than you thought, you always commented and liked. It wasn’t anything ever crazy, you had seen the rarest comments bring a whole essay of analysis on why they loved it or the hating words, but you kept it simple.
Just something to keep Hawks spirits high without draining you even further of energy.
A simple: holy shit, that was hot as fucking hell!!!! you never disappoint me!!!
You never expected anything out of it; as a matter of fact, you had merely thought that you were doing the least by merely appreciating his creations when, one night, a few hours after you had gotten home. Your phone chimed with an alert.
Your mouth formed an ‘o’ in surprise; you hadn’t realized there was going to be a new release after he had just updated four days ago. Still, you popped in your earbuds and began the audio with a simple title.
i fuk ur stupid lil pus until u cri
He wasn’t precisely putting much effort into his titles these days, but his tags were definitely accurate and entirely explicit in what was to come. And in this newest video, the prominent tag was degradation.
You weren’t entirely into degradation, but still, you did what you had to do because you weren’t turned off by it. With the beginning sounds of the music playing in the background, you warped into the situation Hawks carefully carved.
But, oh?
Your face simmered with heat as Hawks dirty words dripped from the earbuds, the wet, squelching noise of your cunt and throat being fucked like some inanimate object made you soak through your panties as his disparaging words burned against your spine like a hot brand. After the thirty-minute audio was finished. Your body trembling with the aftershocks of an orgasm that had come despite the lack of actual stimulation of your clit, and you panted on your bed.
Opening your phone once again, you quickly liked the new audio and typed out your comment.
listen, i know i always comment about how fucking hot this shit is, but i have /never/ fucking soaked through my panties… you just did that and i expect a full refund for these panties 💦
You pressed send and, without so much of a second thought, continued your night. You had dinner, talked with friends, and ended the night curled back on the couch with a wine glass in your hand and a simple sit-com playing on the TV. The familiar sound of the Patreon alert rang in your ear, and you frowned, confused.
Grabbing your phone, you opened up the device and nearly shrieked at the sight of the information the notification that said:
Hawks F.W.:
lets see those panties before i refund anything
A chill ran down your spine as you quickly put together the indications of this message, and you smirked, despite your quivering hands.
Me:
I have a seven inch dick requirement before seeing any of the goods — yes, that includes my panties
And from that very moment, you began a strange arrangement between you and the NSFW ASMR artist Hawks.
.
..
.
Working was the worst part of your life, you would say.
At work, you would sit in your small 4x4 cubicle, your shelves stacked with plenty of papers and items you needed, not to mention the computer that took up the majority of your desk. You weren’t quite sure what your job here was, you sort of sat at your desk and did meaningless assignments when assigned, but you did nothing for the most part.
Before becoming an active Hawks stan, you would spend your time doing nothing playing video games. You had somehow managed to install a VPN onto your hard drive so that your employers wouldn’t be able to see what was on your screen outside of the home screen. They couldn’t trace what you did all day, but they could care less, given you got all your work completed on time and done in an over exceptional way.
But lately, since you had dropped into this… engrossed whore like relationship with Hawks, things changed.
To be honest, it still shocks you to no end when he tells you that he had always been aware of you. Well, with your consistent, ever appearing comments on his posts and overall enthusiasm for everything he posted, it was hard to not be aware. The mental image of your soaked through panties after a long day at his own work had sent him over the edge, and he finally messaged you.
Through the DM’s in Patreon, the two of you grew to become quite the friends with benefits. He would send you countless personalized audio files because you had quickly confessed to your voice kink and how his voice sent your stomach into hormonal knots. In return, you’d send the picture of an occasional soaked panty, and if he was lucky, an audio clip of your pathetic whines back to his audios.
You couldn’t complain about this arrangement.
But as the number of his patrons doubled, and he wanted to entice his subscribers with paying him even more money, Hawks began to offer a bimonthly personalized five minute audios for his $20 tier. The fans poured into that spot, and Hawks and proudly sent you the new number of adoring fans he was getting. On account of growing platforms such as Tiktok, the number of new listeners he got was nearly exponential, as he currently passed one million followers last week.
The cheeky bastard was also making enough money to stop working his regular work hours anymore. Choosing to transition slowly into his Patreon career while recording.
Hawks, however, seemed to have other ideas for your eventual personalized voice audio.
Hawks had simply asked if, by any chance, you were going to be working tomorrow the night before. Groaning loudly in recognition of your work schedule, you had texted him back that you were going to be working. Snidely including the fact that you weren’t rich like him, you needed the tedious old nine to five job.
Hawks:
how utterly boring
anyway u can b free around 2?
Me:
Eh… probably not.
Busy girl w busy schedule, ill be back from lunch so no break
Why?
Hawks:
well, u knw tht uve been amzing & th bst follower so i wanted 2 give u smthing better then the personalized audio
Me:
Oh?
Well, what is it?’
Hawks:
pick up tmrw n find out
He had changed the subject immediately afterward by dodging all of your questions with ease. So you dropped it, and the two of you resumed a night of flirting. But now, sitting in your small cubicle, your eyes flashing to the clock that read 1:57 p.m., sweat began to build on your palm.
You peered down to your phone as you waited for something, anything from Hawks to show up. The fucker was too cheeky, evasive, and quick for his own good. You felt like pouting as you glared at the phone, waiting for the screen to light up.
And you stilled when finally, at precisely 1:59 p.m., your phone gleamed with light. You couldn’t abandon your computer mouse quicker than you did as you grabbed your phone, unlocking it, and reading the message from Hawks.
Hawks:
do u have earbuds?
Me:
Yes?
Hawks:
good put them on n pick up
The moment you had read the first message, you were already pulling out your earbuds, synching them up to your phone, and placing them into your ear. But your jaw dropped when, for the first time, the call feature highlighted onto the screen, the time immediately changing to that of 2:00 p.m. The decline or accept button had never looked as daunting as it did right now.
Despite the call trying to go through, you still saw his follow up.
Hawks:
if u dont pick up u wont get shit
[Accept]
You felt your heart hammering in your chest as both fear, apprehension, and excitement boiled through your veins, the hammering blood pounding in your ears as you waited for some sort of noise on the opposite side of the line.
“Little dove?” Hawks' voices filled your ears, and despite yourself, you smiled softly. The naturalness of his voice sends warm thumps down your spine.
“Hi, Hawks,” you whisper breathlessly, your head already checking to make sure your neighboring cubicle mates didn’t try to look over the divisions to stare at you. For the most part, the office building was quiet except for the phone calls, the clanking of computer keys, and the monotonous music playing softly on the speaker's head.
“Whatcha doing?” he drawled, and you felt your skin heat up when you heard the all too familiar sound of his shoes hitting the top of his desk, the soft whine of his chair as he leaned back onto it. “Are you really at work?”
“What do you mean, am I really at work?” you squeaked, half horrified at the way the lazy, warm heat of lust was infiltrating your body at the sound of his voice, and the annoyance that he thought you had been lying? “Of course I am; it’s two p.m. on a Wednesday!”
“Ah, so little dove-chan is a raging pervert who engages in phone sex to bypass her long hours at work?” Hawks sighed his tone that of understanding and dismissal. You splutter. “You never fail to surprise me.”
“I do not do… that!” you stammer, your face feeling like hot cinders, your fingers and eyes double-checking to make sure that the audio was going to your earbuds and your earbuds only. You also couldn’t help the way your eyes swept around you, trying to make sure you hadn’t accidentally invited unwanted attention. “I said I was busy!”
“But, you picked up my call?”
“You said, or else!”
“Mmm, okay, I think I see,” Hawks tutted, and although you had never seen what you supposed to be his handsome face, you could imagine a lazy, toothy smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind using your little cubicle to talk you into fucking yourself good for me.”
Your jaw drops.
It hits the desk, and the muffled shriek of utter humiliation is only silenced because you bit onto your tongue like a rabid animal.
“Aw, you sound so excited for me already, little dove. I bet you want to know what I’m going to do to you, don’t you? I just know that I’m going to make you feel so... good…”
“Hawks!” you plea in a hushed whisper, your heart hammering where you sat frozen like a deer in headlights. Sure, you had definitely played his audios before to pass the time, but never before in your existence had you had actual phone sex. This was riskier than just listening to his audios; his audios always had a pattern, a way to escape from the madness of his voice when people were closer than you’d like. But this? No, there was no escape. “I’m at work! I c-can’t!”
“But, fuck, I want you so bad,” Hawks' voice dipped into a gravely tone, his voice just perfectly scratchy enough that your shoulders trembled in unspoken, untouched want. “I want to feel your cunt around my cock, baby, your pussy is so hot and I want to be the fucking lucky bastard that gets to fuck you through your bed.”
“O-Oh my god…”
“I’ve been thinking of what your tits look like,” Hawks continues on, his voice continuing in the style you liked the most. It was raw, heavy, and deep. No character impersonations, just him, pure Hawks. “I hope they bounce the way they do when I imagine you riding me. I want to see you moan when I kiss the underside of your tit, I want to see your face when you realize that you’re my girl, nobody's else's, but mine.”
Heat floods your panties at his words, your shallow breaths making him chuckle on the other end.
“You’d be so lucky to be just mine, wouldn’t you, little dove?” Hawks snaps, his voice demanding a response, and you heave.
You look around, no one is near, and you croak out: “I’d be so lucky.”
“Louder.”
“I’d be so lucky.”
“Mm, there we go,” Hawks laughs, and your ears prickle for any noise that may indicate that someone was listening in. “What? Are you getting nervous that your needy ass will be heard by your coworkers right now? Answer me.”
“Mhmm,” you hum loudly, your cunt pulsing with more incredible heat and your hands shaking with a slight fear of being caught.
“Aww, don’t worry, little dove. I’m sure your boss will understand that you’re my newest fucktoy and will let me continue. Maybe they’ll want to join in?”
You whimper softly, shifting in your seat at that thought. You didn’t really want your boss coming anywhere near you, he was old and gross for one, and nothing could take the place of this beautiful man's voice in your ear right now.
“Oh, was that a no? You don’t want other people fucking you, do you, y/n? I bet you only want to have my cock in your tight little pussy, bet you want to watch the way that greedy little thing sucks me in, begging for my seed. Would you want me to cum deep inside you? You would like that little dove; you’d like to be full of my cum.”
“H-Hawks,” you keen as quietly as you can, your hips shifting uncomfortably in your seat, your heart hammering in your throat. The pressing heat in your cunt is growing, your panties growing with wet slick as Hawks' voice whispers down your ear, filling every empty and void space in your brain until you were having trouble focusing on the very much public spot you were in.
Hawks let out a soft, guttural moan, and you froze, face entirely combusting into an inferno as the familiar slick slapping of his fapping cock filled your ear. Immediately, you forgot everything.
“A-Are you—?!” you splutter, unable to find the words or the energy to come up with a way to ask if he was masturbating right now. Your eyes spun, your mind in a complete haze as soft, raunchy moans spilled from his lips, striking against your nerves and soul with each successive sound.
“I’m only trying to help you out here, dove,” Hawks growled, undoubtedly in effect to a rather loud smack of his fist colliding with his thrusting hip. “You’re the little office slut who picked up a phone call to entice in phone sex. I bet you knew exactly what I was going to do, and your pathetic, needy whore self caved to my instructions.”
Your fingers curled into the armrest of your chair.
“I bet this makes your boring ass job tolerable, the perfect distraction to a shit job, then imagining a few minutes of fucking yourself against my hard cock.”
“That’s not true!”
“No?” Hawks laughed, not believing you any more than you did. “So you wouldn’t hate it if I showed up and fucked you into the wall of your cubicle? You wouldn’t mind if I claimed your sweet-smelling pussy against your desk for everyone to hear? I know you can scream like a bitch in heat. I know that pretty little cunt of yours would milk my cock dry. Oh, I just know you would look so fucking sexy with your back arched, eyes closed, and you begging for hours just to cum. You wouldn’t cum without my permission, right?”
You gasped, heart fluttering, hammering in your chest as you shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak.
“I need a verbal answer, little dove.”
The heat in your core was blistering, your thighs shaking with your unadulterated lust and need as you ground into the cushion of your chair. All logic and moral long gone as he snarled and moaned your name in your ear, the slick of his fapping cock echoing like a great bell in your ear. You wanted to hear him cum, wanted to listen to the pithering sound of his echoing moans as he spilled the contents of his balls onto his hand — and how you wished it was your womb.
“I won’t cum w-without your permission!” you whispered, your skin shivering with your fear of being caught.
“God, you sound like such a dirty fucking bitch. I bet your pussy is fucking soaked already. Bet you really want to run that slutty embarrassed finger against your clit but don’t want to be caught by your perverted coworkers,” Hawks hissed, his breaths turning into steady, heavy hot pants. You mewl softly, confirming his spoken thoughts, and he huffs out a laugh. “How many fingers do you normally shove up that pretty cunt of yours, little dove?”
“T-Three!” you gasp, your forehead pressing to the cool of your desk, your eyes glazed over and looking at the entrance of your cubicle, fervently wishing that no one tries to check on you as you grind against your stable chair. “O-Only three fit.”
“Fuck, you really do have a tight cunt, don’t you,” Hawks snaps, the wet sounds of his fisting hand around his cock a beautiful melody in your ear that makes you whine at the back of your throat. “Bet you can’t even fit cocks up your cunt without lube, huh. You gotta stay on top, or else you’ll get hurt with how thick and long my cock will be up that baby pussy of yours.”
“H-Hawks!” you grit out, the friction of grinding on the seat no longer working.
“Go to the bathroom, now,” Hawks commands, the small gasps on his voice from his approaching orgasm more than enough ammo for you to do as told.
You sprint to the bathroom, the slick of your cunt hot, and evident to you as you sped to the bathroom. Your phone clenched in your hand as you locked the door behind you, glad the room was empty. Barely managing to get yourself into the stall, the toilet paper placed on the seat as you raised your legs up, already prepared. The skirt you wore was bunched above your ass, and the panties you wore, stretching out around your knees.
“Sounds like you’re ready to start fucking that pussy for me,” Hawks laughs, but there's no humor, just bite. “Put in three fingers, now.”
Without even arguing or caring, three fingers slip into your cunt, and you cry at the feeling of your fingers completely stretching you out. The smell of sex and slick filling your nose as your fingers slick up, fucking your tight cunt as you moan louder and louder for Hawks.
“God, your fucking pussy is so fucking wet, I can hear it from here!” Hawks moans, the frantic sound of his drilling hips gaining speed and momentum.
“I want it to be you!” you moan, your face burning in your humiliation. “I want it to be you fucking my pussy, claiming me in this bathroom. I need you, Hawks, I want your cock so badly!”
“Fuck,” Hawks gasps, something tumbling in the background. “Such sweet words for a fucking dirty ass cumslut,” he growls, and your legs shake, your clit and cunt thrumming with your increasing arousal and pit of tightness in your core.
“HAWKS, FUCK!” you sob as your hips try to start a merciless speed against your fingers, your body trying to match the speed in which Hawks was fucking his own hand.
“Keep screaming my name, whore.” Hawks gasps, his noises of pleasure beginning to grow louder and louder, your eyes crossing in satisfaction. “Screaming my name like the fucking slutty mess you are. All this shit just to get me to fuck you? God, you’re so fucking pathetic y/n. Begging for me, begging for more? I think you’re my favorite little dove ever, gonna make you mine whenever I get to fuck that pussy.”
“Hawks!” you wail his name again, your arms and pussy throbbing with the energy it takes to keep up with his inhumane speeds. Your vision seeing stars as you tremble more and more, your legs slipping from the toilet seat, yet. “I am your whore, your little dove. Please let me come, please! You fuck me so well, fucking hell, please, I needa cum, I needa cum!”
“Cum with me,” he snaps, his voice so deep, so dangerously smooth. It was precisely what you needed, the voice kink you had for his tenor exactly fulfilled entirely with that simple, last command. And just like that, your jaw slackens, head slamming backward, and pleasurable waves crash through you.
Your fingers still rock at your clit, and your vice gripped walls, your toes curling within your shoes as you soundlessly scream. Hawks, on the other end, is practically snarling, voice deep and altogether dangerous as grunt after grunt leaves him, and you can imagine the milk-white cum splattered all over his chest and hand. A beautiful, perfect sight that you wish you could see for yourself.
Exhaustion settles in your bones as you sit on the toilet, still entirely exhausted as you heave for air.
“I think that was the best fucking orgasm I ever had,” you mumble, your eyes closed, not ready to stand up and move. “Thank you.”
“I’m good at what I… at what I do,” Hawks stumbles, husky exhaustion ringing in his own voice. “Now, little dove, finish up work, and I promise there’ll be a surprise waiting for you when you’re done.”
Not entirely agreeing, but not disagreeing with his command to go finish you last… two and a half hours at work, you begrudgingly said goodbye to Hawks before washing your hands and exiting the bathroom.
When five o’clock came, you watched as your phone screen lit up, and your face flushed as you read the DM from Hawks.
Hawks:
this is my fav audio now
↳ hawks_littledove.mp3
but you surprised me today, so in case u ever want to have more fun sometime
call me 03-9183-2495 ;)
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I Found My Light (Kakashi x Reader)
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
A/n: Sound the alarms! It’s my first ever writing post! I’ve had this written for a while tbh, and I feel like I’m ready to start getting into this.
Summary: A late-night walk turns into a rekindled friendship.
Word Count: 2300
Warnings: fem!reader, SFW (but might not be later lol)
You opened your eyes for what seemed like the thousandth time tonight. Staring at the white ceiling, you sighed. Sleep seemed to evade you recently, a side effect of the recent dreariness of your life. You found yourself living the same days over and over again. Because of this, the line between day and night started to fade.
The moon was full tonight, you noticed as it shined brightly through your open window. It was the perfect temperature out, warm but chilly enough to feel comfortable wrapped in your blankets. You love listening to the occasional sounds that occurred outside, the noise of leaves rustling in the wind being your favorite.
Your gaze left the moon and landed back on your ceiling. Why is something as simple as sleeping so hard? Gods, all you wanted was an escape. With a huff, you pushed the covers off of you and sat up from your lying position. Trying to force yourself to sleep would do more harm than good right now.
You make your way to your dresser and pull out your favorite pair of black joggers. You love them because they are tight on your ankles, loose on your legs, and have a cinched band at the waist. They are perfect for any lazy day. You slip them on over your underwear, you never go to bed with pants on, and exchange your sleep shirt for a cropped black hoodie made from the same soft, elastic material as your pants.
You turn to face your large standing mirror in the corner of the room to assess your appearance. The all-black look was your favorite, especially since it will help you blend into the night. Your hair was a mess, so you decided to put it up in a loose bun on the top of your head and pull out some strands to frame your face. It felt good to not look so polished and put together. Your jonin uniform was not the most comfortable piece of clothing, especially with the way it hit your figure.
You walked out of your bedroom and across the kitchen to the front door of your apartment. One foot after the other, you slide into your sandals and grab the key to your apartment hanging on the hook next to you. With that, you leave your apartment and head out into the night.
You walked the streets of Konoha at a gingerly pace. It was probably around 3 a.m. at this point, and there wasn’t a single soul on the street with you. You make your way past the line of shops on the main street, including your favorite bakery where you'd treat yourself to a lemon square after coming back from a long mission. You thought about that lemon square a lot when you were out risking your life, embarrassingly enough.
A couple of turns later and you found yourself heading towards your favorite place in all of Konoha, a little area of woods towards the perimeter that contained this amazing koi pond. Although it was nighttime and the fish wouldn’t be as active, you still want to check to see if you can watch any. To your surprise, your favorite koi, who you nicknamed “Nishi'', was out and swimming around by himself. You sit criss-cross in the grass and watch as he glides through the calm water, almost putting you in trance. Nishi didn’t look or act like the others; He was black with white, almost silver-looking spots and he was less frantic in nature. You sway from side to side as you watch him, thinking to yourself about how you would like to be more like Nishi.
“You look cute watching the koi.” You heard a soft, yet unwavering voice declare behind you.
“Holy sh-” You almost jump out of your pants at the unexpected presence. Surprised, you quickly turn your head around to see who’s voice that could possibly be. To your disbelief, there lies a figure perched up by a tree a couple yards away from you. Their feet were crossed, legs extended, one hand in the pocket of their pants, the other holding up what looks like a copy of Icha-Icha, head turned towards you, and wild hair moving with each passing breeze. How did I not notice him?
“Oh I’m sorry (y/n), I didn’t mean to startle you. I figured you knew I was here because you walked right past me.” He brought his hand up to scratch the back of his head and let out a small chuckle. “Guess I should have made my presence known right away.”
Still in disbelief, you get up and slowly make your way towards the figure, stepping into the shadow of the tree to see him more clearly. As you approached you immediately recognized the silver-haired jonin.
“Kakashi?” You say confused. “What are you doing out here? It’s late.”
“I could ask you the same thing.” He states, closing his book and setting it down next to him on the grass. He looked different. He looked… quite hot actually. The jonin uniform you usually saw him in was traded for a pair of comfortable-looking grey sweatpants and a tight, black tank top that connected to his mask. He wasn’t wearing his headband either, just keeping his left sharingan eye shut in a permanent wink. As you observed him, you couldn’t help but notice that he was doing the same to you.
“I suppose you're right.” You smirk and let out a small chuckle. “I couldn’t sleep so I figured that if I was up I should take a walk around the village to clear my head. This is my favorite spot, so I guess I just naturally ended up here.” You exclaimed, still standing in front of him.
“It looks like you and I are having the same issue,” he states plainly, “I came out here a little while ago after tossing in my bed for an hour. I hate trying to force myself to sleep; It’s a battle I never seem to win.” His eyes averted your gaze and moved to his now empty hands in his lap. You couldn’t help but notice a hint of pain in his voice and it tugged at your heartstrings.
You know about the things Kakashi has been through, as it was pretty common knowledge to all jonin in your mutual age group. You were pretty close with his friends, Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma, but Kakashi always seemed to keep everyone at an arm’s length. He also was an Anbu for ten years, which didn’t help the disconnect either. Fortunately, he was relieved from his Anbu position a couple weeks ago, and gradually you have been seeing him a bit more here and there. Though, this is the first time you are able to have a conversation with him in what seems like forever.
“Well,” you sighed, “I guess we have lost the battle together. We must be pretty shitty jonin.” You stated flatly.
Kakashi squinted his eyes and you both laughed. You couldn’t help but take a mental picture of his face at this moment. You really enjoy seeing him happy, as it makes you happy too.
You can’t kid yourself, having a chance to talk with Kakashi alone feels like such a treat. Little genin (y/n) would be ecstatic right now. Of course you had a crush on him back then, who didn’t?
“You’ve always had a natural talent for connecting with people,” Kakashi mused, “I haven’t talked to you since we were teenagers, and here I am laughing with you like we’re long-time friends.”
You could feel your eyebrows furrow at that statement. Yeah sure, you weren’t at his apartment every week for Sunday brunch, but you did have a history.
“Kakashi,” you started, “You are my long-time friend. Just because we drifted apart doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. To be honest, I was relieved when I found out you were no longer going to be a member of the Anbu. It wasn’t good for you.” You stepped closer and sat down next to him, leaning back on the tree stump. The grass felt cool under you, sending a small shiver up your body.
“I suppose you’re right,” Kakashi stated, quoting your words from earlier. “It amazes me that none of you gave up on me. I feel like I am undeserving of everyone’s effort.” You were baffled by his honesty; Kakashi wasn’t known to be much of an open book. It upsets you so much that he feels this way as you couldn’t imagine not caring about him or any of your other comrades in the village. The faces of your closest friends flashed through your mind and you grimaced at the thought of losing them.
Not knowing if you should, you felt compelled to reach over and hold Kakashi’s hand in yours. It's cold compared to the warmth spreading from your fingertips. Hmm, I wonder how long he has been out here. Giving his hand a small squeeze, you look at him in his onyx eye. “Trust me, Kakashi. You are deserving. You are deserving of a great life and people who care about you. I know the world may seem dark, but I promise that a light is always glowing. No matter how small or dim, it’s there.”
You stare at each other in silence for a moment before he changes the position of his hand and intertwines his fingers in yours. The change was small, but it ignites a feeling in your stomach you couldn’t describe. Slowly, you felt your cheeks flush and you turned your face to look towards the sky in hopes he wouldn’t notice. You knew this action was him telling you that he accepts your words, and thanks you for them.
You spent the next hour sitting under the tree together, you looking up at the stars and him looking at you. Your intertwined hands fell between your bodies, resting on the cool grass. You felt him start to graze the back of your hand with his thumb, sending a tingling sensation up your arm. It felt so good to be touched by him, even in such an innocent manner.
A strong breeze ran through the air and hit you suddenly. You began to shiver at the quick change in temperature, realizing that you should have dressed warmer if you were going to be out this long. Yet, you couldn’t have anticipated the situation you are currently in.
“Are you cold?” Kakashi questioned with a hint of concern.
“Yeah a little bit,” you answered honestly, “but I don’t want to go back home. I’m not really tired yet.” Truthfully, you didn’t want this little moment of shared bliss to end. You started to feel like you found your escape, and you refused to be torn away from it so soon.
“Neither do I,” he confessed, “Come here.” He released his hand from yours and slid his position higher up on the side of the tree. He then spread his legs and patted the ground in between, inviting you to sit.
You felt your face get hot again, as the position he was offering you was a very intimate gesture. There was absolutely no way you could refuse his offer. One, because you were freezing and, two, young (y/n) would never forgive you.
You got up and sat down carefully between his thighs, leaning until your back met his chest. He then wrapped both of his arms around you, one around your shoulders and the other around your waist with his hand resting on your stomach. The outsides of your legs met the insides of his and you felt an immediate warmth there. Lastly, your head tilted back and rested upon his left shoulder, with his face nuzzled against your temple. You both fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, no part of you feeling any discomfort against his strong body. Engulfed in his smell and warmth, for the first time in a while you felt completely relaxed.
“Thank you, Kakashi.” You looked up at him with a warm smile.
“Anytime.” He breathed, voice muffled by your hair. You wondered if he truly meant that. I mean, after all, this is the first time you have interacted in a while. Yet, the connection you felt towards him was unquestionable.
Does he feel the way I feel?
“Hey,” you began, “are you tired at all?”
He flexed his arms and held you closer to his chest. “Not really,” he answered, “I’m enjoying this moment too much to be tired.” You smiled, and there was a pause.
“Isn’t this odd?” you questioned again.
“What? You and I snuggled under a tree in a random corner of the village alone at 4 a.m. after we haven’t interacted with each other in years?” he questioned sarcastically, “Not at all.”
“Kakashi!,” you laughed, gently nudging your elbow into his ribs as he laughed along with you.
“Yeah it’s a little odd,” he answered honestly, “but I’m not going to question it. I found my light, and now I’m enjoying it.” He nuzzled his face into your hair and breathed deeply.
Completely and utterly relaxed, you let yourself succumb to the heaviness of your eyelids. Truthfully, this has felt like the longest day in the world and you are happy to end it this way. The sound of Kakashi’s breathing and the rise and fall of his chest acted as your personal sleep machine. It’s priceless.
Before you completely drift off, you swear you could feel the soft, pillowiness of Kakashi’s lips graze the skin of your temple, a soft hum escaping from them.
“Goodnight, (y/n)”
~~~
Queue Hilary Duff’s “What Dreams Are Made Of”. This kind of feels like the beginning of something. Should I continue? Idk if my writing is even good. If you read this, PLEASE let me know if you have any feedback. Again, this is my first story and I would greatly appreciate any feedback, advice, suggestions, etc.! I can’t believe I’m uploading, ah! - Klara
#kakashi#kakashi hatake#kakashi fanfic#kakashi fanfiction#kakashi x reader#hatake kakashi#kakashi fluff#kakashi imagine#naruto fanfiction#kakashi x you#kakashi x y/n#kakashi one shot#kakashi x yn#kakashi sensei#i found my light
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