Objection! Your honor, this is an incorrect statement. As no one knows the identity of Batman, we therefore cannot confirm nor deny whether he is licensed to drive a tank.

The 2020 Cosmic Horror Holiday Gift Guide

The phrase “Black Friday” has a more menacing tone in 2020—especially here in the United States. Hopefully, you’re following the advice of the experts, staying home, laying low, wearing masks, and washing your hands. But a pandemic shouldn’t stop gift giving! So, once again, I took some time and assembled my List of Lists for 2020. In it, you’ll find a plethora of paraphernalia for the weird-fiction fanatic, cosmic-horror connoisseur, or mythos maniac in your life. As with previous years, I’ve worked to assemble a list of exceptional items for all ages and budgets.

There’s a few changes this year. First, I’m now linking to IndieBound for all books. Please do what you can to support your local bookshops and small businesses. Odds are they can get you anything Amazon can, and it’ll help out your community. Secondly, where possible, I’m also linking to the author’s personal webpages. Check them out. Follow them. It’s a nice way to stay current with what’s happening in the world of weird fiction. Please remember, while I’ve ordered these by price, the prices and availability are subject to change. I don’t have any control over that. Happy shopping!

 QUICK LINKS 

• Books • Music • Apparel • Games • • Housewares • Miskatonic •

Books

Mother Hydra’s Mythos Rhymes by Jarred W. Wallace $9.95 + Shipping (Paperback)

This mock children’s book features twenty-one sinister nursery rhymes twisted with a Cthulhu Mythos bent and illustrated by the incredible Heather Hudson. Also included is a complete Edward Gorey-style alphabet. Every budding cultist should learn their ABCs after all.

The Worm And His Kings by Hailey Piper $13.00 + Shipping (Paperback) $6.99 (eBook)

This arrived only a few weeks ago, and I can’t wait to dive in. Set in New York City in 1990, the story follows Monique as she hunts for her missing girlfriend. But the trail goes much deeper than she realizes, sending Monique into a subterranean world of enigmatic cultists and shadowy creatures.

The Stars Were Right by K. M. Alexander $14.00 + Shipping (Paperback) $2.99 (eBook)

I’m nearly finished with Book Four’s edits. So, if you haven’t, now is the perfect time to start reading my Bell Forging Cycle. Follow Waldo Bell as he is sent careening through the multi-level megalopolis of Lovat, fighting to clear his name as a bloodthirsty killer stalks him. It’s mystery and monsters, chases and cults, and an ancient evil in a world that is similar but not quite like our own.

RADIO by J. Rushing $15.99 + Shipping (Paperback) $3.99 (eBook)

A jazz-infused, opium-soaked, historical fantasy with a transgressive edge that explodes from the opening chapter and never relents until its final pages—a welcome addition to modern fantasy literature and weird enough that it earned a place on this list.

Murder Ballads And Other Horrific Tales by John Hornor Jacobs $16.95 + Shipping (Paperback) $7.95 (eBook)

Seems like it’s becoming a tradition to see a new book from John Hornor Jacobs on this list every year, and it’s no surprise. He’s arguably one of the best mythos writers working today. This collection of recent horror and crime short stories takes you through tales involving old gods to malevolent artificial intelligences, plus it includes the sequel to his 2011 novel, Southern Gods.

The Cipher by Kathe Koja $17.95 + Shipping (Paperback) $3.99 (eBook)

Part haunted house story, part body horror, part descent-into-madness tale all told in the style of Transgressive Literature. The Cipher is one of those stories I was shocked I hadn’t read until this year. Koja writes stunningly physical characters and knotted complex relationships that feel eerily familiar to anyone who’s spent time in artist circles. Enjoy the Fun Hole. (One of my 2020 Three Great Horror Reads for Halloween.)

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones $26.99 + Shipping (Hardcover) $9.99 (eBook)

At its heart, this is a horror novel about growing up poor and native in western Montana. But The Only Good Indians also a novel about revenge, mistakes, and their extended consequences. I blew through it. I grew up not too far from where this novel is set, and I have yet to find a recent author that captures the behavior and actions of the people in that area quite as well as Jones. You’ll never look at elk the same way again. (One of my 2020 Three Great Horror Reads for Halloween.)

The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin $28.00 + Shipping (Hardcover) $14.99 (eBook)

The first of the Great Cities series focuses on a roiling, ancient evil that stirs beneath the streets of New York City and threatens to destroy the city. New York must go on, and it will take five protectors scattered across the boroughs coming together to stop it. An allegorical response to Lovecraft’s work and a love letter to the city.

The Dark Brotherhood and Other Pieces by H.P. Lovecraft $650.00 + Shipping (One Copy Available—Sold via AbeBooks)

This rare late-60s first edition copy from Arkham House is in fine condition with a fine dustwrapper. It also comes with an inscription by the publisher and editor of this work: “for Herb Arnold from the compiler – August Derleth.” An extremely unique find and a unique piece of weird fiction history.

No book catches your interest? Check out the books featured in one of the previous guides. • 2014 Books • 2015 Books • 2016 Books • 2017 Books • 2018 Books • 2019 Books •

Music & Audio

Tribute To H.P. Lovecraft by Epsilon Eridani Free (Digital Download)

This atmospheric and somber dark ambient album is the third project from Mexican electronic artist Juan Pablo Valle. Blending instrumental tracks, spoken words performances, and recitations of parts of Lovecraft’s stories, this tribute serves as an excellent horror soundtrack.

The Yellow Sign $6.99 (Digital Download)

While Lovecraftian music often skews towards dark ambient or metal performances, The Yellow Sign goes takes a more orchestral approach. Composer Graham Plowman has created a fantastic classical soundtrack putting this album on par with any feature film—brooding, menacing, and wonderfully enjoyable.

Beyond Madness by Aklo $9.00 (Digital Download)

Erich Zann would be jealous. Aklo, like its madness-inducing namesake, is hard to pin down. But this album captures “the beyond” in ways not often heard in modern music. Part noise, part experimental, Beyond Madness is an excellent addition to any Lovecraft fan’s collection.

Live from Stockholm by Ogham Waite $12.00 (Digital Download)

Ogham Waite, one of Innsmouth’s Deep One inhabitants, and the Amphibian Jazz Band are the mythos’ answer to the lounge stylings of early Tom Waits. Bluesy and moody, this seductively smokey album drips with saltwater. Waite’s performance and delivery are melodious as they are melodic, a great addition to mythos music.

Ambrose Bierce’s The Boarded Window $20.00 + Shipping (Vinyl)

This limited vinyl pressing of Bierce’s unsettling perspective-shifting tale is read by Anthony D. P. Mann and scored by Chris Bozzone. Cadabra Records always goes the extra mile with their products, and it’s clear from the hand-poured red and white splattered vinyl to the incredible art by Jeremy Hush.

Deities by Tortuga €22.50 ($26.68) + Shipping (Vinyl) €5.00 ($5.93) (Digital Download)

This one showed up randomly on a playlist, and I found myself intrigued. Once I listened to it, I became a fan. Tortuga is a Polish doom metal band whose work is loaded down with intricate and heavy driving riffs inspired by Lovecraft’s writings. It’s good stuff.

Not finding any music or audio that interests you? Check out one of the previous guides. • 2014 Music • 2015 Music • 2016 Music • 2017 Music • 2018 Music • 2019 Music •

Apparel

Tiki Cthulhu Embroidered Patch $9.00 + Shipping

I see many patches as I search for new cosmic horror gear throughout the year, and occasionally I find one that rises to the top. This sew-on tiki-styled Ctuhulu is 3″ x 2.5″ and was created for the 2018 H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival. If you want a mythos inspired adornment for your bag or jacket that’s a bit outside the norm, look no further.

Cthulhu Socks $18.00 + Shipping

It’s winter in the northern hemisphere, that means you need to keep your appendages warm. Also, socks-for-Christmas is a right of passage. Why not consider getting these Cthulhu Socks from PutYourSocksOn featuring tentacles up the side and an illustration of the dead and dreaming Cthulhu on the ankle.

Sourpuss Tropicthulhu Rosie Dress $29.00 + Shipping

When you are associated with the ocean, you generally get associated with the tropics regardless of where your sunken city dwells. This 40’s style Rosie Dress allows you to show your appreciation of R’lyeh’s favorite son in a subtle but delightful manner.

Amulet of Azathoth £23.95 ($34.42) + Shipping

It’s the grandpappy of the mythos deities in amulet form! Well, kinda. A representation of the nuclear chaos beyond angled space himself. This antique amulet is a little over an inch and a half long and is cold cast in a mixture of resin and brass—a stunning little pendant.

Mother & Father Statuary Set $85.00 + Free Shipping

These handmade and hand-painted resin figures of Dagon and Hydra would work perfectly as bookends or garden statues. Aged in a way to evoke feelings of lost treasure salvaged from the seafloor or perhaps a dank and forgotten chamber somewhere beneath Innsmouth. Kinda cute to boot.

Cara Mater Silvae Shub-Niggurath Woodcut Print $187.50 + Free Shipping (Limited Edition)

Liv Rainey-Smith’s fantastic woodcut work has long been a fixture in the weird lit community. This limited-edition print is done in the style of a sacred icon and features a great rendition of Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young, or as my readers will know her, “Cybill.”

Keeper of the Nightmare Mask $331.53 + Free Shipping (Made to Order)

Plague doctors always cut a fearsome figure in humanity’s historical memory, but what lies beneath that leather mask and shielded eyes? This custom made-to-order mask twists tentacles to form that familiar (and terrifying) plague-doctor shape adding an extra level of menace to an already menacing form.

Not finding apparel you like? Check out the apparel on one of the previous guides. • 2014 Apparel • 2015 Apparel • 2016 Apparel • 2017 Apparel • 2018 Apparel • 2019 Apparel •

Games

No Players Online Name Your Own Price (Windows/Linux)

What starts as a simple old demo of a capture-the-flag 3D shooter found on a discarded tape eventually twists and turns becoming something else entirely. I’m a sucker for the 80s glitch aesthetic, and it’s used here in masterfully unsettling ways—multiple endings, interesting game world, very much worth your time.

Kadath $5.99 (Digital Download, Early Access)

This first chapter of a first-person cosmic-horror adventure has you following the case of a World War II Nazi train that vanished only to reappear in a cave in the Himalayas 75 years later. Dripping with atmosphere and filled with brilliant puzzles, this first chapter left me excited for Kadath and wanting more.

Fate of Cthulhu $20.00 (Downloadable PDF) $35.00 + Shipping (Book + PDF)

In this tabletop roleplaying game from Fred Hicks and Evil Hat Productions, you and your friends will find yourself sent into the past on a mission to prevent the future. It’s a race against time as you try to stop the stars from being right and prevent Cthulhu’s foretold return, all before you and yours are transformed into something monstrous.

Elder Sign Dice – Blue Aether $24.99 + Shipping

Infinite Black has been making some wonderful cosmic-horror-themed gaming products for a few years. They’ve finally gotten easy enough to nab for holiday gifts. These Blue Aether Elder Sign Dice stood out to me, but they have a robust catalog making it easy to find the right gift for the dicing Lovecraft fan in your life. (Or yourself.)

Fate of the Elder Gods $63.99 + Shipping

Cults battle cults in this race to summon your ancient order’s elder god of choice! But it’s not just the other conniving worshippers and cult leaders you need to worry about, crafty investigators are on the prowl, and they’re working to subvert everyone’s goals as well. Hasten the earth’s doom in this competitive area-control game for two to four players.

Hastur $274.99 + Shipping (Two Shipments)

I’m a big fan of the Mysterious Package Company, the quality of their products always impresses. This latest journey into the realm of Hastur is no exception. Taking place over several mailings, Hastur invites the recipient into the world of the King in Yellow, the play with the same name, and the utter madness that dwells within those words.

Not finding a game you’d enjoy? Check out the games on one of the previous guides. • 2014 Games • 2015 Games • 2016 Games • 2017 Games • 2018 Games • 2019 Games •

Housewares & Collectables

Cedric’s Eatery 11oz. Mug $16.00 + Shipping

It’s cold out, and you need a new mug. Why not pick one up from Lovat’s own Cedric’s Eatery located in the entresol between Levels Three and Four. An in-between place for in-between folks. Waldo Bell’s latest hangout. Fill your mug with 11 oz. of bad coffee, your favorite tea, or something stronger. [From the pages of the Bell Forging Cycle.]

Cthulhu Clay Idol & Letter $29.80 + Free Shipping

Alternative takes on the Cthulhu idol are rare. More often than not, we see the same shape repeated over and over. Because of that, this rawer, more original piece stood out to me. It feels more realistic in many ways, reminding me of the sort of thing one would find on an archeological dig. Plus, with the attached letter, you get a little mini-experience here.

Sea Monster Shower Curtain $32.00 + Shipping

There be dragons. And there. And there. And… well, all over the place! If you love weird old sea monsters and old maps, then this curtain will be perfect for you. Decorate your shower with this fantastic curtain featuring beasts that look lifted from early Renaissance maps. 70″ x 72″. Liner recommended.

Cthulhu Lovecraft Blanket $59.99 + Shipping

As cooler air moves into the northern hemisphere, we can all celebrate the arrival of the cozy season. To stay warm, why not cuddle up beneath this cotton and acrylic Jacquard Knit blanket featuring the squatting visage of The Great Dreamer himself? He might be cold but you don’t have to be.

Anxious Blob Original Sculpture $325.00 + Shipping (Supplies are limited.)

This weird little one-off sculpture of a nervous little entity is made with polymer clay and hand-painted. The eye sits beneath a glass dome giving this piece a unique character. Who among us hasn’t wanted an anxious blob with hundreds of teeth and a single staring eye decorating our walls?

Not finding a houseware item you like? Check out the housewares from one of the previous guides. • 2016 Housewares • 2017 Housewares • 2018 Housewares • 2019 Housewares •

Miskatonic University

Miskatonic University Pennant $15.99 + Shipping

I love seeing all the different takes for Miskatonic University collegiate gear. Here you can show your support for “Ole Misk” with a felt pennant from H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society and cheer on the “mighty Miskatonic Myrmidons” to another victory. Wave that banner proudly!

Miskatonic University Real Leather Notebook $41.40 + Shipping

Journaler? Artist? Writer? Mathematician? Norwegian sea captain? Random idea generator? If you’re one of these, odds are you need a notebook. This 8″x6″ Miskatonic-themed journal features 100 sheets of thick handmade Khadda paper and is durable enough for the dig site while still being elegant enough for the classroom.

Miskatonic University Wax Seal $48.07 + Shipping

Secure your correspondence with old friends from bygones eras who seek answers using this classic and exquisite seal. It might not stop prying eyes, but at least your old colleagues will know if someone’s been tampering with their mail. (Wax sold separately.)

Miskatonic University Hockey Sweater $109.00 + Shipping (Supplies are limited.)

Every sports fan needs a jersey. Miskatonic students are no different. It’s why when I came across this Hockey Sweater from Geeky Jerseys I knew it’d be perfect for the cosmic horror student in your life. (While this one is great, I’m hoping the superior Miskatonic 2.0 sweater becomes available once again.)

Not finding any Miskatonic University gear you like? Check out the Miskatonic University items from one of the previous guides. • 2014 Miskatonic • 2015 Miskatonic • 2016 Miskatonic • 2017 Miskatonic • • 2018 Miskatonic • 2019 Miskatonic •

  Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

So that wraps up the seventh annual List of Lists. Let’s all keep wearing our masks, socially distancing, and washing our hands so we can all do this again next year. Big thank you to everyone who has suggested items in the past to help me pad out this list. Y’all rule. If I didn’t get to your submission, fret not. There are many more holidays ahead. I appreciate the help.

Do you have a book, game, album, or other weird fiction-related items I should feature in 2021’s Cosmic Horror Holiday Gift Guide? Leave a comment below with links to your favorite goodies for others to see, or send me an email as a potential submission for next year!

Want to stay in touch with me? Sign up for Dead Drop, my rare and elusive newsletter. Subscribers get news, previews, and notices on my books before anyone else delivered directly to their inbox. I work hard to make sure it’s not spammy and full of interesting and relevant information. Sign Up Today→

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The Road To “Godzilla VS. Kong”, Day Four

(Sorry for the delay on this one, Life proved just a bit too busy the other day to finish it; my “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” review is gonna be pushed back as a result too.  But!  No worries, on we go. ^_^)

KONG: SKULL ISLAND (2017

Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts

Writers: Dan Gilroy, Max Borenstein, Derek Connolly, John Gatins

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson, John Goodman, John C. Reilly

Technically speaking, Gareth Edwards’ “Godzila” from 2014 was the first entry in what is now generally referred to as “The Monsterverse”, an attempt by Warner Bros. Studios and Legendary Pictures to do a Marvel Studios-style series of various interconnected movies (and which, like most such attempts to cash in on that particular trend, hasn’t really panned out; “Godzilla VS. Kong” seems likely to be its grand finale as far as movies are concerned, the only two “names” it had going for it are Godzilla and Kong themselves, and even at its most successful it was never exactly a Powerhouse Franchise).  But the thing is, when that movie was made, the idea of a “Monsterverse” did not yet exist; it was only well after the fact that Legendary and Warner Bros. got the idea to turn a new “Kong” project into the building block of a Shared Universe of their own that they could connect with the 2014 “Godzilla”, with a clear eye on getting to remake one of the most singularly iconic (and profitable) Giant Monster Movies of all time.  As you might guess from that description, however, said “Kong” project also had not originally been intended for such a purpose; it would not be until 2016 that it would be retooled from its original purpose (a prequel to the original “King Kong” titled simply “Skull Island”) into its present form, which goes out of its way to reference Monarch, the monster-tracking Science organization seen over in 2014’s “Godzilla” and which includes a very obviously Marvel-inspired post-credits stinger explicitly tying Kong and Godzilla’s existences together.  

The resulting film is fun enough, all things told, but that graft is also really, distractingly obvious.

Honestly, I wish I knew why I’m not, generally, fonder of “Skull Island” than I am.  It’s not as if, taken as a whole, it does anything especially bad; indeed it does a great deal that is actively good.  Consider, for example, the rather unique choice to make it a Period Piece; that’s decently rare for a Monster Movie as it is (indeed one of the only other examples that springs to mind for me is Peter Jackson’s 2005 remake of “King Kong”, which chose to retain the original’s 1933 setting), and it’s rarer still that the era it chooses to inhabit is an immediately-post-Vietnam 1970’s.  Aesthetically speaking, the movie takes a decent amount of fairly-obvious influence from that most classic of Vietnam-era films, “Apocalypse Now” (a fact that director Jordan Vogt-Roberts was always fairly open about), and it results in some of the movie’s strongest overall imagery (in particular a shot of Kong, cast in stark silhouette, standing against the burning sun on the horizon with a fleet of helicopters approaching him, one of a surprisingly small number of times the movie plays with visual scale to quite the same degree or with quite the same success as “Godzilla” 2014).  It also means the movie is decked out in warm, lush colors that really do bring out all the personality of its Jungle setting in the most compelling way and, given how important the setting is to the film as a whole, that proves key; Skull Island maybe doesn’t become a character in its own right the way the best settings should (too much of our time is spent in fairly indistinct forests especially), but it does manage to feel exciting and unusual in the right ways more often than not.  The “Apocalypse Now” influence also extends to our human cast,  which is sizeable enough here (in terms of major characters we need  to pay attention to played by notable actors, “Skull Island” dwarfs “Godzilla” 2014 by a significant margin) that the framework it provides-a mismatched group defined by various interpersonal/intergenerational tensions trying to make their way through an inhospitable wilderness, ostensibly in search of a lost comrade-is decently necessary.  Though here we already run into one of those aspects of “Skull Island” that doesn’t quite land for me.  Taken as a whole, it sure feels like the human characters here should be decently interesting; certainly, our leads are all much better defined and more engagingly performed than Ford Brody, to draw the most immediately obvious point of comparison.  Brie Larson (as journalistic Anti-War photographer Mason Weaver), Tom Hiddleston (as former British Army officer turned Gun For Hire James Conrad), and John C. Reilly (as Hank Marlow, a World War II soldier stranded on Skull Island years ago) definitely turn in decently strong performances; I wouldn’t call it Career Best work for any of them (Hiddleston especially feels like he’s on auto-pilot half the time, while Larson has to struggle mightily against how little the script actually gives her to work with when you stop and look at it) but they at least prove decently enjoyable to watch (Reilly especially does a solid job of making his character funny without quite pushing him over the edge into Total Cartoon Territory).  I likewise feel like Samuel L. Jackson’s Preston Packard has the potential to be a genuinely-great character; his lingering resentment at the way the Vietnam War played out and the way that feeds into his determination to find and defeat Kong is, again, a clever and compelling use of the 70’s period setting, it gives us a good, believable motivation with a clear and strong Arc to it, and Jackson does a really solid job of playing his Anger as genuine and poignant rather than simply petulant or crazed.  But there’s just too much chaff amongst the wheat, too much time and energy devoted to characters and ideas that don’t have any real pay-off.  This feels especially true of John Goodman’s Bill Randa, the Monarch scientist who arranges the whole expedition; the Monarch stuff in general mostly feels out of place, but Randa in particular gets all of these little notes and beats that seem meant to go somewhere and then just kind of don’t.  Which is kind of what happens with most of the characters in the movie, is the thing; we spend a lot of screen-time dwelling on certain aspects of their backstories or personalities, and then those things effectively stop mattering at all after a certain point, even Packard’s motivations.  A Weak Human Element was one of the problems in “Godzilla” 2014 as well, though, and you’ll recall I quite liked that movie.  There, though, the human stuff was honestly only ever important for how it fed into the monster stuff; it was the connective tissue meant to get us from sequence to sequence and not much more.  Here, though, it forms the heart and soul of the story, and that means its deficiencies feel a lot more harmful to the whole.

Still, those deficiencies really aren’t that severe, and moreover, like I was saying before, there’s a lot about “Skull Island” to actively enjoy.  The Monsters themselves do remain the central draw, after all, and for the most part the movie does a solid job with that aspect of things.  It does not, perhaps, recreate “Godzilla” 2014’s attempt to make believable animals out of them (even as it does design most of them with even more obvious, overt Real World Animal elements), but there is a certain playful energy that informs them at a conceptual level that I appreciate.  Buffalos with horns that look like giant logs with huge strands of moss and grass hanging off their edges, spiders whose legs are adapted to look like tree trunks, stick bugs so big that their camouflage makes them look like fallen trees…the designs feel physically plausible (especially thanks to some strong effects work that makes them feel well inserted into the real environments), but there’s a slightly-humorous tilt to a lot of them that I appreciate, especially since it never outright winks at the audience in a way that would undercut the stakes of the story. Kong too is very well done; rather than the heavily realistic approach taken by the Peter Jackson version from 2005, this Kong is instead very much ape-like but also very clearly his own creature (in particular he stands fully erect most of the time), with a strong sense of Personality to him as well; some of the best parts of the movie are those times where we simply peek in on Kong simply living his life, even when that life is one that is, by nature, violent and dangerous.  Less successful, sadly, are his nemeses, the Skullcrawlers; very much like “Godzilla” 2014, Kong is here envisioned as a Natural Protection against a potentially-dangerous species that threatens humanity (or in this case the Iwi Tribe who live on Skull Island, but we’ll talk more about them later), and while they’re hardly bad designs (the way their snake-like lower bodies give them a lot of neat tricks to play against their enemies in battle are genuinely fun in the right sort of Scary Way), they’re also pretty bland and forgettable, even compared to the MUTOS.  That said, they serve their purpose well enough, and their big Action Scene showdowns with Kong are genuinely solid.  Indeed, the movie’s big climactic brawl between Kong and the biggest of the Skullcrawlers has a lot of good pulpy energy to it (particularly with how Kong winds up using various tools picked up from all around the battlefield to give himself an edge), likewise there’s a certain Wild Fun to the sequence where our hapless humans have to try and survive a trek through the Crawlers’ home-turf.

Where things get a bit tricky again is when the movie attempts to put its own spin on “Godzilla”’s conception of its monsters as part of their own kind of unique ancient eco-system. The sense of Grandeur that gave a lot of that aspect such weight there is mostly absent here, especially; there are instances where some of that feeling comes through (Kong’s interactions with some of the non-Crawler species, for example, do a good job giving us an endearing sense of how Kong fits into this world), but far more often it treats the monsters as Big Set-Piece Attractions.  Which is fine as far as it goes, it just also means a lot of them aren’t as memorable or impactful as I might like.  Meanwhile, the way the Iwis have built their home to accommodate, interact with, and protect themselves from the island’s bestiary feels like a well-designed concept that manages to suggest a lot of History without having to spell it out for us in a way that I appreciated (I would also be inclined to apply this to the very neat multi-layered stone-art used to portray Kong and the Crawlers except that the sequence where we see them is the most overt “let’s stop and do some world-building” exposition dump in the whole movie).  But the Iwis in general are one of the more difficult elements of the movie to process, too; it seems really clear there was a deliberate effort here to avoid the most grossly racist stuff that has been present in prior attempts to portray the Natives of Skull Island, and as far as it goes I do think those efforts bear some fruit; we are, at the very least, very far away from the Scary Ooga-Booga tone of, say, “King Kong VS. Godzilla”, and that feels like it counts for something.  I just also feel like there’s some dehumanizing touches to their portrayal (in particular they never speak; I don’t mean to imply that Not Speaking equals Inhuman, but the fact that we are not made privy to how exactly they do communicate means we’re very much kept at arm’s length from them in a way that seems at least somewhat meant to alienate us from them), especially given their role in the story as a whole is relatively minor.  

At the end of the day, though, all the movie’s elements, good and bad, don’t really feel like they add up together coherently enough to make an impact.  And I think if I had to try and guess why, even as I find it wholly enjoyable with a lot to genuinely recommend it by, I don’t find myself especially enamored by “Skull Island”.  It has a lot of different ideas of how to approach its story-70’s pastiche, worldbuilding exercise, Monster Mash-but doesn’t seem to quite succeed at realizing any of them fully, indeed often allowing them to get in each other’s ways.  It isn’t, again, a bad movie as a result of that; there really isn’t any stretch of it where I found myself bored or particularly unentertained.  But I did paradoxically find myself frequently wanting more, even as by rights the movie delivers on basically what I was looking for from it.   

The Robin 80th Anniversary Special

It's not a secret that I'm first and foremost a Dick Grayson fan, whether he comes dressed as Robin, Nightwing, Batman or something else. But I try to be charitable and be happy for fans of the other Robins that they got a pice of the birthday cake, i. e. the Robin 80th Anniversary Special.

For your enjoyment (?), here are my thoughts about the book. Spoilers ahead, obviously – don't like, don't read!

I honestly thought almost all of the stories were ok – but pretty forgettable. Marv Wolfman's spin on Dick leaving to become Nightwing, in "A little nudge" (art by Tom Grummett and Scott Hanna), is probably the only one I will remember and reference in the future. I don't know if or how it is supposed to fit into the (any?) continuity, but as far as I can see, it works nicely in the current setting.

Dick's parting from Robin and Bruce was successively portrayed as more and more hostile. When he originally left Robin to become Nightwing (1983–1984), the two still had a good relationship. This changed in comics to, first, that Bruce decided to retire Robin, and then to that Bruce outright fired Dick and kicked him out of the cave. This lead to that their relationship was portrayed as poor, antagonistic even, for a good many comics years.

The bad mood was picked up by Batman The Animated Series, where Dick left being resentful of Bruce and his methods.

I don't have a lot of good things to say about what has happened to the Bat-family after Flashpoint. But from what we've seen from scattered panels, Dick was the one who decided he wanted to leave Robin. You can read Marv Wolfman's story as confirmation of that. Which is nice.

Bruce is only a little bit of a jerk in this story, being utterly rigid about that Robin has to follow orders. Dick, however, chooses to stay with a kid that had been shot instead of following the criminals.

Dick has had it with Bruce's rules and leaves the cave, but he says "later" rather than "goodbye".

It's made clear that those strict rules were Bruce's way to say, "I know you've grown up, and you should move on; I'll be fine without you."

Batman # 408, where Bruce decides to retire Robin because he got scared when the Joker shot Dick, is firmly established in my mind as the "correct" leaving story in my mind. It was the only one I had read and knew of for many years, and the two still part on decent terms. But Marv Wolfman's 80th Anniversary version has a lot going for it.

On to the rest of the stories...

"Aftershocks" By Chuck Dixon, art Scott McDaniel and Rob Hunter.

Set during Cataclysm (a storyline from 1998) where Dick lived in Blüdhaven before he moved back to Gotham and became Batman. It's an action-filled story where (fingerstripe) Nightwing comes to Gotham after an earthquake has hit the city.

It's interesting to read this, living through the corona crisis that is going on right now. I don't know how it is where you live, but where I am, people are setting up networks to help people who can't go out to shop or walk the dog, University students are helping kids do their math lessons with the help of Facebook, people make masks for health workers etc. But when Chuck Dixon writes what happens after a catastrophe, Dick has to fight his way through masked thugs who are trying to rob an ambulance of "painkillers and tranks" when he tries to save a cab from falling with a damaged bridge. A woman is giving birth inside the car, and the story ends with that the mother wants to name the boy after Nightwing.

"Well...Robin works, right", he says.

"Team building" by Devin Grayson, art Dan Jurgens and Norm Rapund.

Well, I'll always soak up everything that has to do with Dick and the Titans – Teen Titans, New Teen Titans, Titans, any Titans...

Devin Grayson wrote The Titans 1999–2000, which is the setting of this story. Most of it takes place inside a H.I.V.E. locale, where an exasperated boss (Damien Darkh) chews out his soldiers after a fight with the Titans. But Darkh decides not to kill the lot of them, because they did distract the Titans while he stole a red crystal/power source. Of course, it turns out Dick is the soldier who has kept his helmet on; he takes the crystal with him and gives Darkh a bit of advice on team-building on his way out.

"Generally speaking, fear of execution isn't a great motivator. I've found basic team-building and morale-boosting to be much more effective. Like, I'm just spitballing here, but... You ever consider a pizza night?"

Well, it did keep me amused, and it shows us that Dick is a good leader and strategist, (and a great acrobat who manages to get out of the H.I.V.E. uniform with one hand, on the way out), although it isn't exactly a surprise that Dick was in the building when you get near the end.

"The Lesson Plan" by Tom King and Tim Seeley, art Mikel Janín.

Now, I do like some things about the Grayson run, but with a bit of distance, I've realized it was mostly the art. The sexualization of Dick and how King and Seely wrote him as a guy who jumps first and plans never got tiresome. This story is in-character for Grayson; Dick is accompanied by a girl (Paris) from St Hadrian's on a mission, and on the way, he remembers the lessons Batman gave him and imparts his own interpretation of them to Paris. As is Batman says, "plan everything", and Dick says "Improvise. Leap first... figure it all out on the way down." Ergo, classic King and Seeley. Also, it is possibly implied Dick made out with a beautiful girl that turned out to be gorilla in disguise...? Yep, vintage King and Seeley.

Other than that, I don't have a big problem with the story. Some things ring true to me – as when Dick remembers Batman saying, "At their core, people are cowardly and self-serving. Trust no one until you know them. And even then, never completely". And what Dick says is, "Give the benefit of the doubt until you gotta knock 'em out."

For my own peace of mind, I'm reading this as Dick is half-joking with his advice. It's not like we've never seen him make plans and be suspicious post-Flashpoint.

On a side note, one of the best characterizations of Dick Grayson to my mind is a panel from Black Mirror. When Dick explains he had injected James Gordon Jr with a subdermal tracer, and says about himself, "I am a softie. And I do try to see the best in people... but that doesn't mean I'm stupid."

Detective Comics # 881. By Scott Snyder, art Jock and Francesco Francavilla.  

"More Time" by Judd Winnick, art Dustin Nguyen.

Jason has a cute story about him repairing Thomas Wayne's watch as a present to Bruce. He started the work as a tiny Robin (too tiny, in my opinion, but with Dustin Nguyen on art it probably couldn't turn out any other way) and finished the work as Red Hood. Jason delivers the present to Bruce on his birthday, placing it on the Batmobile while it is parked in a Gotham alley.

"Extra Credit" by Adam Beechen, art Freddie E. Williams II.

Tim has an appointment with the guidance counsellor at Gotham City High School. Tim sees a future in law enforcement (that's the first I've heard of that, but I'm no expert on Tim) and he's adopted (again, something I haven't seen post-Flashpoint). But the counsellor doubts that Tim will be admitted because he has nothing to show when it comes to extracurricular activities. It's kind of a fun few pages where the counsellor suggests things that Tim could do, and Tim thinks about what he does as Robin on his spare time.

"Boy Wonders" by James Tynion IV, art Javier Fernandez.

Tim, Red Robin, is unsure what he wants to do with his life and goes to his brothers? fellow Robins? for advice.

I know emotions have been running high because Dick tells Tim that he is "demonstrably smarter" than he is, which makes it sound as if Dick is not really smart at all.

Again, for my peace of mind, I choose to read this as I want: that "big brother" Dick is encouraging, he has always thought highly of Tim, he has no ego to preserve. This doesn't make Dick a reliable narrator on the subject, and the page ends with that Tim thinks "He was the first. He's the best. He's always going to be the role model. "So, two brothers who admire each other.

Tim also talks to Jason and Tim, and the story ends with that he tells Batman he wants to start Gotham Knights protocol, the team in Detective Comics (Rebirth.) 2016-2018.

"Fitting In" by Amy Wolfram, art Damion Scott.

Stephanie, as Robin has problems because Tim's Robin suit doesn't fit her female body. But at the end of the day, Bruce gives Stephanie her own "changing room" in the Bat-cave, because she's female.

...are Bruce and Alfred idiots? Did Dick, Jason and Tim have exactly the same body type when they were Robin? Stephanie deserved a story worth being told, not this one.

"My Best Friend" by Peter J. Tomasi, art Jorge Jimenez.

Jonathan Kent writes a school essay about his best friend, Damian. As he writes the words on his laptop at home, they are illustrated with pcitures of the two as both Robin and Superboy, and as Damian and Jon in civvies. Tomasi and Jimenez worked with Super Sons (2017–2019), and though I didn't read that, I'm pretty sure this story is an extra chapter in that series.

"Bat and Mouse" by Robbie Thompson, art Ramon Villalobos.

It's not the worst story in the book, but somehow the one I disliked the most. It is part of what is going on in Teen Titans and Bat-titles right now; we see Alfred's tombstone and how Batman and Robin have a strained relationship and difficulties in communicating. I'm not keeping up with what is going on with Damian and Bruce in detail, so I really can't say whether this story is consistent with how things have been going lately. I'll let Bruce-and-Damian fans take that ball.

To be honest, my reaction to "Bat and Mouse" is probably due to that I really, really don't like what's happened in the Bat titles lately. I firmly hope that the current situation will be changed and Alfred will be alive again, and I wish I could go back and re-read this book years from now without being reminded of this very dark time when DC seemingly doesn't want any money from me for new comics...

Being who I am, I probably take it waaaaay too seriously to try to understand where/if these stories fit in the DC continuity... The writers have probably (rightly) thought more about writing a good story than making it consistent with any grand plan for a timeline for all of the DC universe. But whatever.

The Grayson story clearly happens in a post-Flashpoint universe, as does Damian's and Tim's stories. But Tim says he's adopted, which I believe has never been said outright post-Flashpoint. And Stephanie has as far as I know not been Robin in this continuity. Chuck Dixon's Nightwing story is explicitly set during Cataclysm (a storyline from 1998) where Dick lived in Blüdhaven before he moved back to Gotham and became Batman. Post-Flashpoint, he moves to Blüdhaven for the first time in Nightwing vol 4., so Dixon's story should take place in the old continuity.

On the other hand. The last pages of the book are made to look like profile overviews in the Bat-computer and use pictures from different Robin runs. If the snippets of information are supposed to be the current continuity for the Robins, a lot from the pre-Flashpoint universe is back in canon.

Shortly, Dick was adopted (that's the word they use), formed the Teen Titans, moved to Blüdhaven and was Agent 37 for a while. Blüdhaven comes before Agent 37, but it's not explicitly stated when he first moved there. Because if Dick was in Blüdhaven before his time with Spyral, it is inconsistent with parts of Rebirth Nightwing. (Which I can live with...)

Jason's story starts as the street kid who tries to steal the tires of the Batmobile, his stint as Robin was short, and today, Red Hood has formed a tenuous alliance with Batman. Tim uncovered Batman's secret and made a bid to become the new Robin – and his new moniker "Drake" is acknowledged. Stephanie was Robin for a very short while. Damian was created with genetic material that Talia stole after a romantic tryst with Bruce, and he was bred to be an assassin.

Personally, of course, I think that Dick Grayson was worth more of an effort from DC on his 80th anniversary. But on the whole, the things we got were decent, "A little nudge" gave me something I will keep with me, and several of the covers are great.

(The cover photo is still pinched from Dan Jurgens' Twitter – I haven't bought all of the variant covers.)

FAMYNE

~Songs in the Night~

Interview & Photographs by Angelique Le Marchand

I am wrestling with all the crap in my pockets for ages as my mobile goes off on a London double-decker bus. I just missed a call, and it’s neither my bestie nor a robot calling to offer me PPI. It’s Jake Cook drummer for the band FAMYNE calling to finalise our plans to meet up for an interview in Camden, just before the band’s gig at The Black Heart. This proper phone call feels like such a good omen. It is refreshing to come across someone like Jake, who doesn’t solely rely on texts or emails nowadays.

As I had feared, my quest for a reasonably quiet room suitable for recording the interview is not fruitful, and the initial plan of booking a copacetic space ahead of time was impeded by the band’s busy schedule prior to tonight's show. As a result, all seven of us decide to make the band’s tour bus our "office" for the duration of our discussion. Parked outside the venue, it’s perfect -- quiet and well lit, with plenty of armrests to prop pints of cider on (the band’s drink of choice).

Famyne is:

Tom Vane (vox)

Jake Cook (drums)

Martin Emmons (rhythm guitar)

Chris Travers (bass)

Alex Tolson (lead guitar)

Justin Crouch (silent member and head roadie)

Famyne by Famyne

Origins

The Canterbury doomers were inspired by Opeth’s song "Famine" to name their band. The song is an extract from the pivotal album 'Heritage' (2014), which Famyne’s founding members have a predilection for, and although their taste in music stems from a variety of influences, all five share an admiration for the Swedish prog-metal legends.

At the time that Famyne were formed, Tom was studying the history of English as part of his undergraduate degree, which played a big part in personalising the band’s name. The spelling is a reference to orthographic variations in Old English, with the vowel "i" being interchanged with “y” depending on your geographical position across the country during the Early Medieval Period.

Like all bands, Famyne went through a great number of possible names before coming up with one that clicked. "It’s like naming a baby almost," says Tom. "You think of how people could take the piss out of it. In that case, no. Let’s not be called that." Their search had to be brought to a halt when the band was offered their first gig with Skull Tank and Death Truck Mutiny at their local bar. They already had a set put together, but they still hadn’t decided on a name. They needed to come up with one -- fast -- if anything, for the gig’s promotion poster. "Famyne seemed to fit," recalls Jake.

Famyne underwent several changes before progressing to their final line-up. The band was initially put together by founding members Jake on drums, Tom on vocals, and first lead guitarist, Wesley. Wesley departed the band after their first show in October of 2014, as he was unable to commit to an increasingly busy live schedule. Jake slowly met the other members of Famyne in local pubs, including bassist Chris Travers. Both admit having no clear recollection of their first encounter due to the consumption of large amounts of alcohol, although the legend goes that Chris may have been found headbanging on his own at either The Cherry Tree or The Foundry in Canterbury.

Jake also met lead guitarist Alex Tolson in a Canterbury bar. Alex was invited to one of the band’s practice after making a big impression at one of his early live performances. He was instantly enthused to becoming part of the project, interestingly bringing with him some amps specially built for Famyne by his father. Alex Williams and Alex Johns successively played rhythm guitar, with Johns serving as long-standing guitarist for two-and-a-half years, although he never officially committed as a full-on member of the band.

As touring and the release of Famyne’s debut album required a more permanent rhythm guitarist, it felt a natural progression for Martin Emmons to complete the line-up, and he made his first live appearance as official member of the band at The UCA Bar in Canterbury on the 29th of June 2018. Martin, who has known Jake since he was 14 years old, is another eminent musician on the Canterbury scene. His prog-punk band Witchdoctor shared stage with Famyne several times, and he stood-in for Johns at some of Famyne’s shows, enabling a very smooth transition. To date, Martin continues to play with Witchdoctor and they are currently working on new material.

Guilty Pleasures

Having a peep at somebody’s music collection is a quick way of breaking the ice and getting to know them better. But picking out unexpected pieces is even more interesting as it helps defining their quirkiness, so I am curious about surprising records that may be dotting the bandmates’ personal collections. Jeff Beck’s guitar play and the way he becomes one with his instrument are an inspiration for Alex. At the moment, he is also digging Funkadelic for their fusion of funk, rock and metal. Tom’s revelation that Cocteau Twins and The Cure -- with attention to Disintegration -- get a regular spin, is coherent with some of the discrete brush strokes of post- punk in Famyne’s outputs. In his own words, Martin likes a lot of "weird shit." Quite a range on the spectrum in fact, from math rock to Zappa and King Crimson, with Cardiacs being top of his list of weird.

Although the bandmates tease the head (and only) roadie Justin that he has no choice but to listen to Famyne, he manages to explain that he is also a nü-metal fan, particularly enjoying Korn and Slipknot. Chris cites "Voulez-Vous" by Abba as one of his guilty pleasures. A single that he does own and that gets blasted in his living room, together with a lot of doom. His disclosure is met with roars of laughter from the rest of the band, but a spirited approval from me as a fellow owner of Abba’s records. If you’re going to indulge in unpretentious pop, you may as well listen to the good shit. But Chris currently also listens to a lot of Uncle Acid and the deadbeats, as well as 1000mods, and some early Metallica. Time to turn to Jake and ask him about any records in his collection that may surprise our readers.

Jake: "I’ve become a very big Ghost fan."

The "office" erupts in a huge scream. I’m ashamed to say, I suddenly forget my place. I catch myself curled up in fetal position, repeatedly punching my knees. In stitches, Alex and Martin, have completely disappeared behind their seats, while Justin is crying so hard that he looks dangerously close to having a fit. Chris briefly recovers to come to my rescue with a sympathetic handshake and a piercing "Yesssss!!! Her, too!!!" Jake is a man who will stand by his convictions, and he calmly continues.

Jake: "I know there’s a lot..." (interrupted by more laughter).

Tom: "He’s always trying to play it at parties and stuff."

Jake: "Well, say what you will but they influence me, it’s a band I like. I can’t argue with the thousands of turns up at shows."

Tom: "Yeah, you can say that about Britney Spears."

Jake redeems himself by talking us through his boundless admiration for Opeth. Then comes the revelation that he also recently acquired a soft spot for The Darkness.

Chris: "Because you can hit those notes!"

Jake (grinning): "Of course, I’m a very impressive singer actually!"

Chris proceeds to entertain us with a superb impersonation of Justin Hawkins, beating Jake to it.

No Stone Left Unturned

It’s difficult to listen to Famyne’s debut album and pick just the one favourite song, and one that would remain such as set in stone. All of them sound so unique, yet they work harmoniously juxtaposed in an album. In just over four years in existence, the band have already created a signature sound that, within split seconds of a first listen, is capable of prompting inner-monologues running along the lines of: "Ah, I recognise this...it’s Famyne."

Describing their own sound and uniqueness is not an easy task for a band. Famyne are self-aware about revealing their personal thoughts on the subject as they are interested in their listeners’ interpretations without influencing them. "Famyne is Famyne," says Jake. "We all have one central point that we’re influenced by, and that is doom. That’s why we all come together." Doom may be the binding agent of their sound, but the bandmates’ varied musical influences prevented them from falling too rigidly within the frames of the genre.

Famyne EP by Famyne

"Everything gets thrown in and we knock each other’s ideas," adds Jake, "we’ll change this and we’ll add this, and it all gets messed around." "We do what we like to do," explains Chris. "What appeals to us and what we think sounds good. No stone is left unturned, for sure." If the bandmates agree on the importance of sounding different, their self-awareness guards them from placing this thought process before the quality of their songwriting. "I wouldn’t say we try specifically to sound different," Jake says. "We don’t do it at the expense of the song," adds Tom. "The song needs to feel right, it needs to flow."

Working in a super-tight collaborative way plays a big part in sounding unique, but Tom pushes the concept further by explaining how Famyne work as a true democratic band. "Let’s say someone is really passionate about how a song needs to be. It doesn’t matter how passionate they are if four of us disagree, it’s not going to happen."

"There is a good mixture of the heart and the head in the direction of the band," he adds. Tom’s vocals stand out as a distinctive piece of the jigsaw defining Famyne’s unique sound. "I know that my vocals aren’t the same as everyone else’s," he reflects. "It’s definitely influenced by a range of different artists. Every time I sing something, I kind of have a meter in my head saying: how predictable is this? I don’t want it to be so predictable, but I also want it to feel right."

With an imposing vocal range technically flawless on record, his precision on stage singes a lasting impression. As Tom reveals that he was stage trained, his ease suddenly makes perfect sense; he has been singing since the age of four, working in musicals in several different countries as well as in the West End. Having gained a lot of singing practice from such a young age certainly shows.

‘No one really knows the whole full story of how we got this album put together’

Famyne released their self- titled, first full- length in September 2018. The band recorded the album over four different studios, each chosen to craft a specific sound envisioned not only for the band’s vocal parts and own instruments, but also for guest string musicians Cat Ledgerwood (cello) and Karen Jolliffe (violin/ viola).

Every single detail gone into putting the album together was overseen by the band themselves. As there is a heartfelt abundance of detail, it’s surprising to hear that the album was entirely self-funded. Producing such an accomplished piece with no backing financial support strikes as a respectable tour de force, and a good measure of the passion that Famyne poured into their output.

While the bandmates pride themselves in their independence, discussing recording their new album also spurs on memories of considerable hardship. "We’ve gone to do what we do, we’ve just gone for it no matter what," says Chris. "No one really knows the whole full story of how we got this album put together and our struggle in places, especially financially, sometimes. But no matter what, we just spent the money to do it. If it needs to be changed, and that means another day in the studio for this little bit, it doesn’t fucking matter. We’re doing it."

Tom composed the lyrics and cites Neil Peart as influential on his writing process. He likes the way the Rush’s lyricist produces massive songs that develop into concept albums. Tom observes that he may be perceived as goobledegooking the lyrics, but he does in fact put a lot of thought into them. I suggest that the atmosphere and themes developed have a feel of the poètes maudits from the 19th Century, but the texts are in fact quite personal. "It’s a mixture of philosophy, and fear, and also just honesty. These three things are what are behind a lot of my lyrics, a lot of the time," says Tom.

The album comes beautifully presented with an ongoing monochrome theme. A refined band shot by photographer Phill Morgan adorns the inner sleeve, while Russian artist Vergvoktre was commissioned to create a dramatic tryptic, reminiscent of Romanticism and the engravings of Gustave Doré. Vergvoktre featured the city of Canterbury on the front panel as Famyne are close to their local roots and heritage, as well as being inspired by the Canterbury sound and scene.

This is a feel they wanted to represent in the album’s artwork. "We don’t know much about the guy," says Tom about Vergvoktre. "He’s somewhat mysterious. We had these ideas for four panels that were interconnected and when put together, provided a kind of 360 degrees feel, which is why they blend together if you put them next to each other."   "Like a Famyne lampshade!" Jake adds, prompting laughs and my comment that they could easily sell those in Ikea. "We could brand that," he adds, "We need to go to Stockholm, boys!"

On point with their natural attention to detail, the band put a lot of planning into the artwork’s commission, carefully assembling ideas and atmospheres inspired by different sections of Vergvoktre’s existing pieces. This resulted in a thorough brief emailed over to Vergvoktre, comprised of themes and pictures. "As well as stick man drawings!" photobombs Chris, with his customary wit. "If you looked at it, you’d see the difference. It’s like a very young child’s drawing and then we just said, do your thing, dude! He did it justice, I’d say."

"The best gig for me is when you see people mouthing the words as I’m singing."

Tom should be pleased with tonight’s show at The Black Heart, and both "Slave Ship" and "Grand Majesty" were particularly notable in prompting this very reaction in the audience. Slightly unusual for any band opening up on any night, but truly remarkable given that "Grand Majesty" hasn’t even been released. Enquiries on reasons why the empyrean song hasn’t been committed to record yet are met with a shroud of mystery: Famyne may have some surprises in store for us.

Film by Mathijs Kooij of VoidManiac

The band’s presence live has increased tenfold over the past couple of years, with Bloodstock already under their belt. Despite being a relative young band, Famyne are steadily growing a legion of converts thanks to their sterling musicianship combined with their trademark neck brace-inducing energy.

Over the past few months, on top of recording and releasing their debut album, somehow the bandmates found the time to play a sizeable number of dates in the UK, as well as across eight different countries on the Old Continent. Playing Into The Void last year in The Netherlands and Germany for the first time were highlights for them. "The thing that was good about the tour was playing in places we’d never played and being busy," says Jake. "Beautiful place, beautiful people -- really beautiful people. Everyone was really ready to get down. The set went really well," Chris adds about Karlsruhe. "We had space on stage so we got to do our thing a bit more." Witnessing Chris fiendishly jumping on stage twenty minutes later will enlighten on the latter detail being of importance to him. It comes as a relief that live, his bandmates have apparently become very good at dodging -- although Martin still has room for improvement.

Touring, Tiger Bread, and Transport Police

One of my favourite questions to ask a band is if they have any unusual items on their riders, as it usually prompts some interesting responses. "We like to have uncut tiger bread," Jake starts off. "It hasn’t turned up once," adds Chris, solemn. The band’s need for starchy food was once covered by their promoter in Austria. He once baked a Famyne cake for Martin’s birthday and decorated it with the name of the band. Two of the letters were missing, though, as the cake turned out to be quite small. It’s the thought that counts, as they say.

Film by Mathijs Kooij of VoidManiac

As the band’s reach progresses and their touring schedules grow, so do their riders. They are appreciative of folks putting them on in the first place, but they don’t expect anything outside of the essentials. "I think we don’t want to put people into too much trouble, as we don’t want to inconvenience them," Tom says. "It’s unnecessary crap for us. All we want is some food, we want some alcohol, some soft drinks, and a nice printed picture of Bill Ward," Jake adds, as a nod to Monolord’s response to this very question in a previous Doomed and Stoned interview. "I’ll wait for the day when we get some nice lemon scented towels," says Jake.

Famyne recently came across a band (which they will not name) who was asking for hot lemon-scented towels on their riders for when they came off stage. Although they initially laughed at the extravagant requirement, looking back some of them are finding the idea quite smart. "You know what? You’re a sweaty mess, you’re dying. Shove my face all over a nice, hot lemon-scented towel. That would be fucking nice, actually!" Chris muses. Famyne do love their cider, as I will discover at my expense while naively trying to keep up with them at The Dev in Camden following the interview. It's an experience that will leave me crucified by the cruelest hangover for three days solid. "I think double the amount of cider next time, never enough cider!" concludes Chris.   Terrifying.

Looking at the band’s social media feeds gives the impression that the band are striking the balance right between hard work and brothers-in-arms fun, especially on tour. "We’re in this band not only because we love the music, but because we are friends. We have a good time," says Jake. "We want to play music, we want to travel," Chris chimes in, "so we get to do the best of both while touring."

The band is planning to go back on tour across Europe in May, and they are looking forward to playing in front of fans who have wanted to see them live for some time. They are also planning to revisit places they travelled through in 2018, including Slovenia, where Chris and Justin famously jumped in Lake Bled in their underwear...in the middle of winter. Due to the freezing temperatures at the time, they had to abandon their plans to swim across to the picturesque Bled Island popping out of the lake, with its cliffs mounted by an opulent church and a medieval castle. But Chris is determined to give this another go. "I’m getting to that, I’m swimming to the middle man. I’ve got targets," he says, sparking laughter and cheers.

The tour went really well for the Canterbury doomers, aside from them being chased down the motorway by the Slovenian traffic police. The bandmates were unaware that they had to purchase and display a little sticker before jumping on the carriageway. As their rider was a little slower than the vehicle chasing them, it soon caught up with them, causing quite a fright with a yellow flashing sign demanding that they pull over. A distressing experience for those amongst the passengers who were chilling out by listening to some music, while consuming considerable amounts of alcohol. Fortunately, the incident drew to a close with the payment of a hefty fine then and there, and didn’t affect shows the band were travelling to.

Famyne’s album launch is one of their personal highlights of 2018. The band invited prog-doomer friends Garganjua to open up for them, and the event took place on The Golden Jubilee, a 240-capacity cruiser on London’s river Thames. Why go for the logical choice of Camden venues, when you could have a boat to doom on? Knowing of the financial struggles associated with self-recording their debut album in the months preceding the event, it is quite telling about the bandmates that they should decide to treat their fans to an unusual, lavish party. Not only did the bandmates chip in to book the boat, but they also hired a coach travelling from their home city to London, as they wanted to give something back to all their friends and fans from Canterbury.

On the trip down to London, the coach got packed with party-goers who got in the mood with a couple of drinks (or ten), further relaxed by the thought of safely returning home after the show. Karma must have heard the rumours. As the album launch was popular with fans, the memory wasn’t tarnished by a financial hangover that could have been the albatross dangling from the bandmates’ necks for months to come.

The party sounded like a hell of a lot of fun. Instead of being crammed in a stuffed venue, folks mingled around in the fresh air, admiring iconic London landmarks as the boat sailed on. It must have been quite a sight for those tourists perched on London bridges. Attracted to look over by waves of extreme music booming out of the boat’s lower decks, they were cheerfully greeted by a crowd dressed in black, partially composed of pirate-resembling hirsute gentlemen yelling at them while brandishing the sign of the horns. "We released our album in I think the best possible way," says Jake, "and we made..." "A SPLASH!" is yelled, of course, by several people at once.

I suddenly become aware that I have spent almost an hour with Famyne in their "office." The other bands billed tonight at the Black Heart are still playing, but I have lost track of time and missed most of their sets. I have become completely relaxed in the company of Famyne, to the point that I have lost the awareness that I was entrusted by our editor with a specific task. With time, folks who gravitate around lots of bands must learn to tell the difference between a genuine human interaction and a PR exercise. This is something that I am generally aware of, yet meeting the band for the first time strangely feels like catching up with old friends that you haven’t seen in a very long time. So many great stories, so much laughter -- and banter! -- some of which was at my own expense (well, most at my own expense). Also a great candeur, particularly in relation with some of the challenges that everyday life throws at folks making space to express their creativity.

In such a short space of time, the bandmates’ gentle manners and openness have enabled me to find out so much about this band. A band that, until now, had remained rather mysterious, other than through the medium of their music, and some photographs shared on their social media feeds. Jake had used these words to describe the sound of his band at the start of the interview, and as I press the stop button on my Dictaphone they resonate with a deeper amplitude: Famyne is Famyne.

LIVE & LOUD

Famyne, Serpent Venom, and Iron Void at The Black Heart

~Review by Connah Davies | Photos by Angelique Le Marchand~

The Black Heart is the scene of day two of the three-day jaunt for this ragtag gang of doom metal miscreants as they roll down from Coventry, having just played The Phoenix on the previous night. Their run finished the following day in Bristol at The Old England pub.

This is Iron Void's first London show in quite some time and it comes off the back of the release of a new album. Having originally formed in 1998, these guys are no strangers to the scene, and their 2008 reformation saw them release a string of interesting EPs and LPs. The band's latest effort, 'Excalibur' (2018), was released in October on Shadow Kingdom Records.

Serpent Venom are the only band on their home turf tonight. After regrettably having to cancel an appearance in early-October, they seem keen to get back out there and conquer the stage again.

Canterbury doomers Famyne recently concluded a spate of European shows following the release of their self-titled LP, before taking to the stage at Camden’s The Black Heart. With the venue's long history of incredible gigs, this would be a fitting place for tonight’s line-up.

Famyne

Famyne started the evening with a barrage of riffs as subtle and powerful as the turning of the tides. Drone-like at times, with subtle and nuanced variation and instrumental interplay, while at other times the riffs leap from the stage and forcibly bang every head in the room. Songs reach a level of incredible intensity before resolving, then the next song starts working its way over you.

Famyne by Famyne

The reverb-soaked vocals from Tom Vane coax and lure the listeners in, before infecting them all with the same brand of insanity he throws himself into throughout the performance. By the end of their set, one might swear the sound of his voice originated from within their own head. These guys have mastered the art of decelerating the tempo of a song in an exceptionally musical way, appearing to never really lose any steam and certainly never losing any bite from the insistently heavy riffs. This, combined with great use of dynamics across their set ensure that they never lose the audience's attention.

Jake Cook (drums), Chris Travers (bass), and Martin Emmons (guitar) are really locked in tight and allow the music to sway and swing about the room or stampede as they see fit. Famyne’s lead guitarist Alex Tolson uses his understated, but technically fantastic, leads sparingly. The ethos of serving the song could leave some listeners wanting more, but that’s quite the point. Never overstaying their welcome, the solos always lift the song exactly when needed before the weight of the riffs come crashing down again. All in all, an equally vital and menacing performance.

Serpent Venom

From the word go Serpent Venom were an altogether different beast. The guitar tones had a more metallic edge to them which, whilst being less atmospheric than the evening's opening act, did allow for more fist pumping from the crowd. The tone of the single guitar on stage added a real weight to the riffs, which came thick and fast, designed to force feed every ear in the room hot gravel. It really sounded like there was more than the one guitar on stage.

Of Things Seen & Unseen by Serpent Venom

Garry Ricketts’ vocals were well-delivered and came in a direct fashion, fitting nicely with the instrumental factions of the band. It could be said that the reverb on the vocals (ramped up to obscene levels) slightly drew away from the poignancy and edge of the vocal performance. A little less would have been a real benefit to this band. Despite this, Ricketts still commanded the attention of everyone in the room. There were a few moments where it seemed he might push into a slightly more aggressive delivery but that never came. If only to occasionally match the snarl, grunt, and crash of the guitar, bass, and drums, it would have been nice to see.

The instrumental sections of the songs often come in a relentless gallop of fuzzed-out madness. It’s during the shifts from these up-tempo moments to the slower sections where it’s genuinely apparent just how tight these guys are. This is accentuated further by the way Ricketts allows his melodies to drift around and in between the band.

One misstep from the engineer during the show temporarily took the wind out of the sails of the performance, when a request for no more strobes was mistaken for a request for no more reverb -- and for half a song that was the case. Serpent Venom didn’t miss a beat during this and the issue was soon rendered, but it did disrupt the atmosphere of the set.

Serpent Venom closed out with a Sabbath-inspired bombardment of riffs. When all was said and done it seemed that, despite being very good, they were capable of putting on a more compelling show under different circumstances.

Iron Void

Opening with "Dragon’s Breath" from their new album, you know where you stand with Iron Void almost immediately. They’ll do little to change one’s mind over the course of the set, but if they’ve got their hooks in and there’s no escape.

Jonathan Seale (bass, vox) and Steve Wilson (guitar, vox) really opened up the sonic range of tonight's show with their vocal harmonies. This lends their sound a more grandiose quality, with the vibe of Gregorian vocal chants thrown in. They use a good dose of pace throughout, with their average tempo being the fastest so far.

Excalibur by Iron Void

Wilson's blues-scorched guitar lines move both with and against the vocals, creating lifting counter melodies and sturdy reinforcements. The well-constructed riffs fit remarkably well with the lyrical themes of the material. The overall sound had a certain ‘70s hard rock twist, which is just as present on their recorded material.

Nothing bad can be said of the lead guitar parts, as they live to serve the almighty riffs they stem from. The new material was comfortably at home amongst their older songs and really added to the slew of fuzz-soaked guitar work and soaring vocals. The only thing that could be said about the performance is that it doesn’t come with too many surprises throughout. This was by no means a boring show, but perhaps with a more carefully curated setlist Iron Void could have kept heads banging more consistently.

Conclusion

All in all, a solid night of doom. With the headline act being the most niche of the three bands that performed tonight it was always a risk that they might experience some drop off in the room, but this wasn’t the case. The room stayed pretty much full, excited, and in motion throughout the night.

The only gripe one might have is the same one you would find in this venue during any gig. The FOH level is always pushed to the very limit of what the system can handle. This causes a degree of clarity to be lost during the fuller on moments. Fortunately, the roster tonight didn’t suffer too greatly from this and there wasn’t many of the issues this can cause for other bands.

Taking a genre like doom-stoner, the parameters of which are well defined, and having such different corners of it touched during a three band lineup really says a lot about the creativity of those who played tonight and love this music. With the same artists playing in Bristol the following evening, one can only hope that things went down as well there, too.

The highlight of the night came early on with Famyne. They had the right blend of strut and intensity, but also knew when to hold back. This may be relatively early days for the band, but it’s clear they’ve got an interesting future ahead of them.

More Famyne

More Serpent Venom

More Iron Void

Unthinkable CH 21/???

Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word 3200

Warning Nothing

The phone that vibrated woke her up,

"Hello," she said again in the dream world,

"Good morning my queen, it's almost 2 pm and I'm at the door, I ring the bell or ..."

"Like ... what ..." replied, jumping off the bed, "I'm coming ..." attacking and shaking Rice,

"Poppy, what the hell is going on?" He asked, "Is the house on fire ?!",

"Tom .. has arrived .." replied as she put on dressing gown out of the room, ran up the stairs now awake, the room was empty and silent were still all sleeping luckily, she wanted everything for if at least a moment before having to share it with the family, opened the door and threw herself in his arms, ignoring the suitcases and the flowers was holding in his hands,

"Welcome home" mewled kissing him ancored like a koala,

"Day, now I understand Rice when we arrived, I confirm that this is the best welcome in the world" dropped his bags to put a hand on her ass and support, "I almost expected the pajamas with penguins" he laughed, "But this put I like it a lot more" leaned against the wall kissing her neck, Y/N squeaked happily

"Sorry doves but the room is upstairs" Rice laughed making out, they did not realize how equivocal the position was,

"Hey man," Tom said, hugging him,

"Have you had a good trip?" asked, helping him with luggage, "If you want a minimum of privacy tonight you'd better stay in the annex" laughed at Y/N

"From Paris it is a moment to arrive, Darling we have the flight to London tomorrow in the day" said holding her close to his side, "And these are for you" kissed her putting the flowers in her hands,

"You're spoiling me too much, I could get used to this treatment," kissed him as he headed for the kitchen, "I make coffee, I still have not got my dose" laughed dragging it with her, Rice followed them laughing the woman put flowers in a vase and switched on the coffee machine before opening the fridge and starting to prepare breakfast,

"Something is missing ..." Rice said playing with the fridge panel, "..may we have some music?"

"No, please, I would like to enjoy my man in peace first ..." Y/N answered waving upstairs,

"Poppy, you can not hope that they will sleep much longer, you made a hellish noise when you came down" he laughed mashing her hair, the woman nodded she knew that that moment of peace would come between shouts and surprise soon and she was nervous, Tom came up to her

"Darling take a big breath is just your family," he whispered calmly, "If you say I'm a fan I can always draw my incredible charm and charm them" laughed maliciously stroking the imaginary mustache, the woman burst out laughing,

"Mister Hiddleston you play dirty," she mewled kissing him,

"Never said I would not cheat," whispered in her ear,

"Now sit down before you burn the toast, you terribly distracted me" laughed giving him a pat on the back and returning to the stove, a delicious smell of pancakes and toast spread around the house with the aroma of coffee, stretched the ears hearing the first movements from the upper floor, Y/N looked at Rice anxiously,

"I block them in the room to set the table, you take a deep breath I warn you when everyone is at the table" he said before leaving the kitchen,

"Day give me a hand here ..." heard Rice's voice giving orders, someone was complaining that he wanted coffee,

"Hey, who are those suitcases?" the curious tone of Roby silenced the group, "... are his? ..", ".. arrived?", "..Where have you hidden? ..", the ferment up,

"It has arrived, now you are all quiet and sit down .. Y/N is already nervous without all of it being shit" Rice had raised her voice laughing, in the kitchen the woman had finished preparing breakfast and was putting it on the tray, Tom at her side was making coffee cups, if he was nervous would not see it,

"Ready?" Rice asked, reaching them in the kitchen and taking the dishes, Y/N took a deep breath and nodded, Tom took her face in his hands smiled and kissed her, the three went to the room.

"Day guys," she said cheerfully, "I hope you are hungry, I made the baskets of eggs" laughed putting the tray in the middle of the table,

"According to you what woke us up", "The perfume came up to the room", "Yay the breakfast of the holidays!" the enthusiastic chorus died as soon as the group noticed and recognized the newly arrived guest, they remained staring at Tom placing the coffee on the table and moving the chair to Y/N before sitting next to her,

"Pleasure and excuse the intrusion so early" the man said

no one spoke or moved a muscle, Y/N remembered that feeling of hysterical cries in the head, they were still processing and being just awake did not help,

"Breakfast gets cold ..." Rice said breaking the silence and taking the eggs, as if he had broken a spell the others also began to use,

"Gian will give me the bread please" Y/N asked extending her plate, "Gian?",

"How?!" he replied astonished,

"Give me bread," she laughed, did not expect such a silent breakfast, everyone stared at Tom and his movements, it seemed more beautiful than usual despite wearing a simple blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans, Simo jerked when saw him move a lock from her face to kiss, the woman blushed felt like a caged animal was a new and strange feeling,

"I'm going to get the jam," said standing up followed by Tom,

"Darling are you okay?" asked, hugging her smiling, "You're tender when you blush," whispered,

"Sorry Thomas I did not expect such a thing, I was ready to scream or otherwise a different reaction from being silently set," she replied. uneasy and did not think it could happen with his family, "will it always be like that when we're in public?" asked, looking up at him,

"The first few times I'm afraid of," he answered staring, "The zoo animal effect will fade quickly just do not think too much" laughed sweetly, "And then the excuse of the jam I liked .." he took the hips and approached , ".. I do not want any public for what I'm about to do ..." he squeezed her against the fridge and kissing as casually as possible, Y/N stopped thinking about her family at the moment by clinging to his hips, sinking hands in his hair,

"My King" squeaked excitedly, did not care if you stared at that point just wanted to close somewhere and tear his clothes off him,

"My Queen, you have to do me a favor," he said, stroking her face,

"Anything ..." Y/N answered, regaining control,

"Would you dress up after breakfast? Do it for my health, see you go home so it kills me I would not resist until tonight" he said bursting into laughter, the woman nodded, took the jam and cake and went back to the room where the situation had not changed much.

The woman cut the cake and served it to her still silent family, she was about to sit down when Tom grabbed her by the hips and put on his lap,

"Hey!" she laughed putting an arm around his shoulders and kissing him,

"May I have a piece of cake please?" he asked, staring at her with puppy eyes, Roby laughed, softening the atmosphere and handing the tray with the cake to Tom,

"Thank you ..." he said, taking two slices and looking at the questioning Y/N,

"Excuse me in haste I have not done the presentations .. he is Roby .." the woman answered doing the presentations, she pointed to everyone saying the name, finished the round Tom showed his best smile bewitching them, Y/N laughed knew all too well 'effect of that smile, breakfast ended between half sentences and looks,

"I'll go right back to put something on me while you clear," said the woman getting up, "Can I trust you to leave you alone with Thomas?" asked half-heartedly, looking at them,

"Quiet Poppy, I'll defend him in case," Rice laughed, the woman went up to her room, took a random t-shirt and shorts and got dressed as quickly as possible, did not want to leave it alone more than necessary, stopped at the top of the stairs, room came laughter and rumors seemed that everything ran smoothly, went down and reached the group that had moved on the couch, Tom was on the chair the rest of the family hung from his lips, the man raised his head when heard her reach out stretched his hand and took the woman pulling towards him, Y/N was comfortable on his knees relaxed and ready, now that they were all comfortable waiting for questions, Tom held her hand,

"You're beautiful Darling," whispered, the woman smiled and kissed him, she could not get enough, would have done nothing but kiss him if she could,

"How did it happen that you fell in love with her ...", Simo was the first "... I mean, I understand why Poppy has lost mind for you..", Y/N shook the hand of Tom, it was a question from him similar, the man smiled staring at her before answering,

"Honestly, it's irresistible, it's sweet, protective, it tries to make everyone feel good about it, it worries about little things..." he started, "...but I think it was the sun inside that bewitched me, you know it better than me I do not have to tell you that it's special" concluded kissing her hand, the woman was excited she still did not see herself as he saw her,

"We could tell you stories to get you hair white..." Niko said grinning,

".. dark and spicy stories .." Marco continued,

"We all have a past," Tom laughed, "I know Rice well enough not to scare me," smiling, "He told me about some tequila adventures ..." smiled at the woman,

"You have no idea how you went into fire at that moment "Y/N whispered to him,

"So you gave yourself to beach games without us?!" Phil said falsely angry,

"Only once, Tom insisted and it was not nice to disappoint a guest" Rice laughed, Gian was the only one still serious while staring at them, Y/N joined him by putting his side and caressing him,

"Gian speaks, I know you, spit the toad" she said softly, the man squeezed it to himself,

"Are you sure of what you're doing and what you're feeling for him?" he asked, "I do not have to remember how we found you when we arrived ..." stopped looking at Tom did not know whether to continue or not. be sure you're not letting you influence," concluded,

"Gian look at me, I'm fine, I'm just fine, I love him and I just want to be with him, what happened is water passed .." she said tightening to his friend, "..and absurd and incredible as he is in love of me, just think about how I was"

"Poppy you know that you're my favorite, I worry about you" he smiled ruffling her hair, "I apologize to Tom but entrusting it to someone who almost annihilated creates problems," said to the man, "I do not doubt the your good faith but I will take the time to trust"

"I can not change what happened, I had no idea how she was, she's good at hiding what feels or maybe I do not know her enough to figure it out but I have all the time, I can assure you that I love her and will never hurt again" Tom was extremely serious at that moment, he spoke looking at Gian but his words were for the whole group, there were many looks, they knew each other so well that they did not need to express themselves, as Marco always spoke for everyone,

"In this case, welcome to the family!" said standing up to shake his hand, Tom stood up smiling,

"It's a real pleasure, I know how important it is for her," said, responding to the greeting,

"Yes, yes, we are all happy and happy" began sarcastic Jack, "Let's talk a moment of practical things, Poppy will have told you about the wedding"

"It was the first thing told me yesterday," he smiled,

"Well, she's one of the bridesmaids so she can not miss it," he continued. "Now that you're part of the family, do you think you're coming?" Tom looked at Y/N who was still smiling beside Gian,

"Thanks for the invitation but I do not think it's the case" he smiled, "Not so much for work but because I do not want to ruin the ceremony, it's really hard to move without being noticed, it would become a paparazzi circus and it's not fair to you"

"When Poppy told us that she was your new girlfriend, we did not believe her and we made a lot of jokes about my sister and the other girls," said Franc, "After seeing the fans, all in all, of Rice, maybe you're right it could be a problem" he looked at Y/N," What do you think?” asked,

"I think I'd like to have my man next to me that day," he said seriously, "but Thomas is right it would be a delusion," concluded saddened by the idea, she began to understand what it meant to be with him.

They spent the afternoon and part of the evening talking, the group had millions of questions and Tom answered without affable problems as usual,

"I'm starting to get hungry, how about preparing something?" Simo said going into the kitchen,

"It's almost 9 o'clock I think it's a great idea" replied Roby, the group split Y/N followed by Tom reached the others in the kitchen where they opened the fridge and decided the menu,

"I make a phone call, I'll be right there," Tom whispered, going to the garden,

"Live is much better than in pictures, it's great to take your breath away" said Roby approaching the woman,

"Yeah, but it's not his best gift," she replied with a laugh, "He's an exceptional man, he's cleverly sympathetic, he has an extraordinary empathy ..."

"He's rich, I've got to tell you, you really did it," came Simo sly,

"Simo, the money has nothing to do with it, it's not because of what I fell in love with him," said dry Y/N, "I know you value some nonsense but I do not",

"If you say so ..." the woman wanted to kick him was about to reply when Tom hugged her,

"My brother sends you his regards, Elsa can not wait to meet you" said kissing her head, "We have arranged for dinner on Monday if it's ok with you",

"Of course, so I'll get to know him a little better" she laughed, that 'us' turned to his house liked, saw Roby do stupid faces with Simo turned around throwing his apron laughing, "You two are unspeakable",

"I bring the dishes to Rice so I'll let you cook in peace," he said, taking the dishes, Roby put the apron on her back,

"Did I miss something, did my brother say goodbye to you? But do not you have two sisters?!" he asked curiously,

"He spoke of Hemsworth, they consider themselves brothers of different mothers, I find it a very tender thing " Y/N laughed, "You should see them together, when I was on set it seemed to be home with you were absurd ", Roby and Simo looked at each other curiously,

"Dai tells" they said in chorus,

"There's not much to say," she replied, "It was an adventure, I spread Evans and I have to admit that it gave me satisfaction",

"How how?! You beat Evans?" they asked, amazed,

"He challenged me and I had to do it" laughed recalling that day, "He took me around the woods, we played with the play, it was a funny night" she told about breakfast and how Chris H. had arrived and the had pecked in panties while cooking,

"Because you were half naked ..." asked Simo curiously, ".. you and the Captain.." he gave her a push,

"Simo always go there, there was nothing between me and Chris is just a friend, a good friend" concluded the speech laughing,

"I had been in you I would have thrown," he said with a sigh, "It must be a great ride",

"You're always the usual idiot" she laughed, "When you finished making movies on my head on me and Chris throw me the pan?", she put the cheese muffins in the oven and lowered the fire under the sauce before returning to the room, the rest of the group had finished preparing the table and was chatting while drinking martinis, Phil passed her a glass,

"Your favorite Poppy," he said, wiping the flour from her nose,

"Thanks sweet, for dinner it takes half an hour I just baked and the sauce is boiling," she announced, sitting close to Tom,

"Chris has been looking for you, he says that all day writes you he was about to take a plane and come and see how you are" laughed kissing her, Y/N nodded, she and Chris had felt the day before, nevertheless took the phone to tell him she was fine,

"Hey Sassy boy, I heard that you were looking for me," said when he heard, "How are you my love? Did the return with Rdj go well? "

"Silly I gave you for lost, I'm fine I have a few days of vacation so I relax at home" he answered cheerfully, "The trip was fun..you know Rdj .."

"I can know why all this urgency" laughed the woman imagining the answer,

"I wanted to know how things were going and how your family reacted, I worry about you, you know," he said softly,

"You are my favorite honey jar Sassy, ​​here everything is fine, the guys still do not understand the news, but it seems that they are taking it well"

"When are we seeing you Silly? I miss my girlfriend "

"You know I have no idea? I'm just leaving for London tomorrow" laughed looking at Tom," And I miss you too, see you soon" greeted him affectionately, the others looked at her fascinated,

"But were you on the phone with Evans?" Marco asked, "Do you have the Captain America number?",

"We are friends it's normal that has his number" she laughed, "And in case you did not notice it, you also met him at the party at the Castello..the Brucaliffo I went away with," they looked at each other in amazement but did not reply. kitchen heard the trill of the timer, Y/N went to check the dinner and threw the pasta,

"Poppy there is an excellent fragrance, I'm hungry" Rice hugged her, the woman leaned against his friend smiling to himself, she felt incredibly good her life was about to change radically but did not worry,

"Now that I'm all relaxed, even I came hungry, I was so nervous," confessed, drained the pasta and seasoned it, "Tell me it's ready I'll follow you with dinner" laughed removing the muffins from the oven and putting them on the trolley next to pasta, took the serving cutlery and followed Rice.

Come At The King| Part 3| T

Fandom: Cuphead

Pairings: Ride or Die QPP Wheezy & Dice

TW: haha, blood, violence, descriptions of injuries, unhealthy alcoholism, underage drinking

Notes: Female pronouns are used for Dice in flashbacks before transitioning, just to be clear.

prev|next

/Casino King

So what he may have forgotten to tell Wheezy, was that he wasn't just going to challenge the Casino employees. But that he was going to sell his soul to the Devil to do have a fair chance to do it.

It seems like the most straightforward way. He wants his reputation to be ironclad, and his title to be unwinnable until they've paid the price he had. Also, if the Devil holds his soul contract, then he's automatically off open season for any Tom, Dick or Harry who wants his head.

It'd be nice to live without the crushing paranoia he's had for the past ten years after his "retirement".

So that leads him to here, in his new white shoes and slacks, all carefully padded so nothing clinks and all ten decks are well hidden within the finely tailored suit. Lucky purple bow tie in place and all. Waiting.

In the Devil's Casino. For his appointment.

He sits still enough that wandering denizens of hell, do a double take at the sight of him. He's kept the full force on his smile on the skeleton across from him for the past half hour and hasn't batted one perfectly lined eyelid.

The skeleton shifts the slightest bit and he can feel his smile turn mean, thankful Wheezy isn't here to try to save the hapless victim-

"Sir? Your appointment?"

He looks at the skeleton secretary. He nods to her and pretends not to notice the rattling of the skeleton in the other waiting chair. It's Polite not to call attention to other's fear responses.

"Thank you, I'll make my own way up, don't trouble yourself."

"Oh!" The skeleton flutters before smiling and waving at him. He doesn't know if skeletons can do anything else but smile, really. Well, he hums as he enters the ornate elevator that will take him to the owner, he knows they also shake in fear like everyone else.

What a fun trip it's been so far.

-

"You...made an appointment." The Devil repeats incredulously. The Devil was...fuzzier than Dice was led to believe. The horns are cool though. So is the trident propped up behind his ornate desk.

"Yes. I didn't want to trouble you unduly. So it seemed like the thing to do." King Dice feels like Wheezy would be proud of him at this moment. Not the selling the soul bit oh no- he's going to be furious about that. But look at him, being a law abiding member of society and all that jazz. Making appointments and being an adult. Someday he might even go to a doctor instead of stitching up his own wounds. Wild.

He might be a touch too giddy. But lifelong dreams and all that.

The Devil rubs a clawed hand over his face. The cigar in his mouth puffing wildly. "This is so weird." he can hear him mutter. Inhaling loudly the Devil looks back up and tries to explain:

"Usually, people burst in dramatically, or summon me, or play in the casino and then we make a deal."

Dice blinks two perfectly lined eyes."Well, I didn't want to get a leg up on the competition beforehand. It's not sporting."

The Devil is temporarily distracted. This whole situation was throwing him off. Time to get back to familiar ground.

"So what do you want in exchange for your immortal soul?"

The lights in the office flicker omniously, there's a darkening in the colors of the room, like something Dice couldn't see was weighing everything down.

Dice places his terms in front of The Devil. The dramatic lighting cuts short and The Devil grumbles loudly, "Don't tell me you're a lawyer."

Biting back an undignified laugh, Dice shakes his head.

The Devil reads the paper, and looks back up with a raised eyebrow. "You don't just want me to make you king of all games or something?"

King Dice smiles. It seems like he'll never stop having to say it to people. "I'm already King. I just want to prove it once and for all."

"You might not even get the title kid, and then you'd have sold your soul for nothing."

"Are all the casino employees the best in their field or not?" King Dice asks sharply, leaning forward.

The Devil frowns at his taunting, "They are." He growls.

"Then that's all that matters to me. Winning. It's not a game if there's no risk." He doesn't remember standing up to try to loom over someone who probably invented looming. "A chance. That's all I need. And I'm willing to pay my soul for it."

He hold his gloved hand out for a shake. "Deal?"

The Devil shoots out an unnaturally strong hand to grip his in a handshake that feels like liquid fire.

"Deal."

-

He and his small luggage are taken to a guest suite that looks like a bigger nicer version of his own apartment. Sans the tipsy hothead on his sofa.

He hopes the bar is doing well. He's never been away so long before.

A knock on his door moves him from his absent gazing out the window into what is most certainly Hell. He opens the door to a beautiful elegant woman who inclines her head at him. "King Dice?"

"Ma'am." He bows slightly and lets her in.

"You are the one who wishes to challenge?" She perches daintily on the pure white sofa. Dice is kind of afraid he'll stain the sofa if he so much as breathes near it.

"Yes, you must be Pirouletta. It is an honor to meet you."

She smiles and arranges her checkered skirt, "You have manners, how... refreshing."

They make chit-chat. The exact kind that grates on his nerves but he's still giddy from everything so he serves her tea and finds some cookies to plate up. While they nibble on snacks she gives him his 'schedule' for the upcoming week.

"You'll fight each of us everyday this week. Pip and Dot always fight together so 8 challengers in 7 days. It's the only way we can continue to run the Casino while this is going on and bring in a good crowd. You understand."

Dice nods, and before he can stop it, laughs out of sheer excitement. Pirouletta pauses in the act of bringing her cup up to sip.

"What a lovely smile, dear. I hope you survive the week."

-

The first fight takes place in the Casino, strangely enough. There's a pool table that the Devil shrinks them for, so that every curious casino goer could see the fight. Dice looks down at himself, now the size of a hand, and feels something welling up in his throat.

Looking up at the Devil, who's lounging at the other end of the table amongst cheering demons, ghosts and skeletons he wonders if it's fear.

When he sees his opponent squaring up, Mangosteen, now many many times smaller and only a head (presumably his arms would get in the way?) he feels his heart racing and smiles.

"A good day for a swell battle!" He hears over the noise of everything. "You're UP!"

Then he laughs, an eerie sound that seems to cut through the crowd's cheers. He doesn't pay attention to how the crowd quiets at that for a bit, everyone strangely unsettled. The Devil keeps his grin in place, eyes focused on the white-suited challenger.

Finally, minutes later and with Mangosteen worryingly vomiting up what seems to be his guts, Dice realizes what he's been feeling.

Excitement.

-

Wheezy sighs at finally reaching Inkwell Hell. He's dusty, tired and still vaguely nauseous from the boatride but dammit he's going to watch his best friend beat the Devil's Casino no matter what.

It's emptier than he thought it'd be.

He makes his way to the bar, something soothingly familiar. A short man in a server uniform is on a stool, standing to try to see over what seems to be a crowd but sounds like a boxing match. The lady nods at him and quirks a brow at his suitcase.

"What'll ya have darlin'?"

"A glass of water ma'am."

There's a guy as big as he is who frowns at him, "You a teetotaler or somethin'?" Wheezy laughs at that.

"Naw, just celebrating something. Do you know where I could find someone called King Dice?"

As the man sets his drink down in front of him, the gal jabs one finely painted nail to the middle of the screaming crowd.

Wheezy sighs into his water, "Figures" he mutters before he knocks it back.

-

He makes his way through the crowd, thankful of his bulk. He didn't have Dice's pointy elbows or his willingness to use them to make a path.

He ends up in what seems to be a domino table. Except, there's a grinding wall of spikes on one end of a conveyor belt. That his friend is running on.

He rubs his eyes.

Dice is...like five inches tall. What the hell...

On the other side of the conveyor belt are two dominoes swinging with the meanest grins he's ever seen. Dice is dodging strange winged creatures and seems to be shooting...cards.

Oh god I hope he's not using the deck with the sharp edges.

He'd seen Dice slice a block of wood in half with one well flicked card, it was kind of horrifying.

The two swinging split open and spit out a bright pink many sided die. Ooo, bad move.

Dice bounces himself off the spike wall and just...punches the dice back at them. Wheezy is pretty sure his brass knuckles are under those suspicious gloves now that he thinks about it.

A loud bell announces the end of the match, the vicious lower domino kicks the upper one in an impressive show of flexibility and rage. But Wheezy only has eyes for the tiny white-suited figure of his friend.

Without thinking he reaches in and picks up the small Dice. Dice whirls around with one of those terrifying sneers, still panting from presumably running nonstop the whole battle. But he perks up right quick when he sees Wheezy.

"WHEEZE!" His voice is TINY. Wheezy is going to die because he cooed at Dice and got his fool self murdered. "HOW ARE YOU HERE??"

He seems to be unaware he's shouting, although that might be the only way to get heard over this crowd. Dice collapses back on his open palm as Wheezy raises him up to eye-level.

"I couldn't miss this. You've only been talking about it for the past eight years Dice."

Out of nowhere Dice grows a couple of feet and Wheezy is left holding him up until he fills out completely. Luckily, he's as bafflingly light as ever.

Dice thanks him but Wheezy catches the annoyed flicker of an eye towards a corner. He casually glances that way and sees what could only be the casino owner.

The Devil.

He's ...fuzzier than Wheezy thought he'd be. He's also got one of those terrifying smiles in their direction.

Distracted with that, Dice steals his handkerchief from the inside of his coat, to pat at the sweat on his face before it stains his clothes. Wheezy tries to put that unsettling yellow and red stare out of his mind.

"You're out of shape."

"Shut up." Dice beams. Jeez, he's positively giddy, Wheezy hasn't seen him be this chipper since the last time someone challenged him to darts. He's grabbed and dragged back to the bar to escape the pressing crowd that's slow to disperse.

"Wheezy, these are Ms.Martini, Mr.Whisky and Mr.Scotch." He introduces the three. Wheezy takes off his hat and shakes hands with everybody, kissing the back of Ms. Martini's hand to her delight.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all."

They make polite small talk while Dice drains three cups of water in rapid succession. They kind of watch him incredulously, but Wheezy has long grown used to Dice's ability to just...not need to breath for a long time.

"Three matches left my dear, how are you feeling?"

A beautiful lady in a roulette checkered dress glides towards them, she's got a sly smile on and Wheezy can barely keep her gaze. She moves like a dancer, he thinks.

"I'm feeling good. Ah, Pirouletta this is my good friend, Mr. Wheezy."

"It's an honor to meet you ma'am." Wow, he's never felt so grubby in his life. He forgot to shave this morning. Oh god, this is terrible-

"Another gentleman I see," She hold out her hand and curtsies shallowly as he places a kiss on the air above her knuckles. Dice is smiling widely at him, canines dangerously glinting in the casino light. He's never going to live this down, he knows.

"Will you be staying to support your friend, Mr.Wheezy?"

"Ah yes, I wouldn't miss it for the world." He puts an arm around Dice's shoulders, squeezing lightly. He thinks he can feel Dice vibrating in place.

"Will you be requiring a guest room? I can make sure you're accommodated." Was she the manager? She seemed like an important person if she could do something like that.

"Well, I-"

"He'll be staying with me." Dice interrupts, green eyes pale and smile still in place. Wheezy has half a mind to object out of fear of declining anything to the lady's face, but that was basically what he'd been hoping for as well.

Pirouetta raises one fine eyebrow and inclines her head with a smile. "Very well. I'll see you tomorrow then, King Dice. Mr.Wheezy."

She glides off and Wheezy is left feeling his cheeks redden. He looks down to see Dice's judging eyebrow. "Shut your gob. Take us to your rooms."

They waved to the bartenders, who had been busy filling out orders as patrons trickled back to all corners of the casino.

-

Wheezy stares. "It's..."

"Big, I know. I keep feeling like someone is hiding in it, it's so big."

He's set his dusty suitcase by the door, looking at the fancy white walls and white carpeting in trepidation. Then he sees the sofa.

"I'm kind of scared to go near it."

Dice laughs, carefully stripping off his suit and vest. Despite his words, he seems already used to the opulence of the room enough to mess it up with hangers everywhere and what seems to be three different decks splayed across the dining table.

"There's a table. How's it feel to be so fancy?" He ribs.

Dice snorts while unbuttoning his shirt. Everything is white except for the bow tie he'd bought Dice as a present. He makes his way over, suit jacket in hand to help Dice with his binder.

There's some slight bruising, and Dice probably hadn't been breathing well by the end of all that running with it on. Wheezy makes a protesting noise but Dice flaps his hand at him. "It's fine, those were just some hits that Chips Bettigan got in yesterday."

"Leave it off for a while," Dice opens his mouth, but Wheezy cuts him off, "I know- I know. Ruins the lines of your suits and all that. Just for tonight then. Give your ribs some rest."

Dice laughs and shoots off an insouciant "Yes, mother.". Wheezy slaps his ass in retaliation like some nickering horse at the races and has to duck the spray of harmless cards. He's never forgotten that poor block of wood.

"So, how long can you stay?" Dice asks, folding his pants up neatly and meandering towards the bathroom in nothing but his boxers and sock garters. He looks like some strange advert for menswear.

Wheezy shrugs, even though the other can't see, wandering the strange suite,"As long as it takes you to finish, I guess. I got two weeks off."

"Nice!" comes out muffled from the open bathroom. Steam is coming out from the fancy glass shower. There's a hot tub next to it. Wheezy is kind of insanely curious about it, but ducks back out and checks the next room. It's the bedroom.

Where the living room is all white, the bedroom is done in tasteful shades of black. The bed could fit five people comfortably and has what are probably silk sheets. It is of course, scarily neat and looks unlived in. Dice's work.

He goes back and is entranced by the fiery depths of hell out of the big windows until a freshly showered Dice throws a plush black towel at him.

"Go shower, you smell like a bar."

"Piss off."

Cackling, Dice dodges his halfhearted swipe and goes to the shiny black phone to order dinner for them both.

A while later he hears Wheezy shout from the bathroom, "There's fancy shaving cream in here!"

Dice snorts and shouts back, "It's to keep my mustache nice and groomed!"

There's a laugh before the clinking of bottles. "I'm going to use it!"

"It's too late, Pirouletta saw you with that scruff." Dice sing-songs back, rifling through Wheezy's stuff for a change of clothes he forgot to take with him. "She won't recognize you otherwise!"

There's a pause and then Wheezy sticks his head out of the bathroom, chin and cheeks lathered up with shaving cream. He points the straight razor at him. "You think you're funny, Dicey, but you're not."

"I think I'm hilarious."

They're interrupted by a soft knocking and Dice goes to take the platters from the server while Wheezy finishes beautifying.

-

After the fancy dinner, Wheezy will just call everything in this place fancy, they avoid the couch and decide to lounge around the bed. It's not as nerve wracking.

"Black hides the bloodstains best, didn't you say that?" Wheezy mumbles sleepily, victorious after gathering half the pillows around him to keep them from Dice's pillow thieving ways. There comes a sleepy affirmative from the other side of the bed, where Dice is curled up almost into a ball. They've made strange nests out of the exaggerated amount of pillows on the bed.

Who would ever use so many pillows?

They've shared a bed before, but it was Dice's small one. It was either curl up together or fall off. Dice didn't make much noise but woke up on a hair trigger and came up swinging. This huge bed would hopefully keep Wheezy out of punching range.

That was the last thought he had before he dozed off all the way.

Princess In Me (Part 2)

TOMHOLLANDXREADER

(1,730 words)  Warning: Pineapple Pizza (lol)

A/N: This is part 2 of my Princess Diaries imagine, I hope you enjoy. 

Masterlist  Requests  Part One  Thx again to @kingquackdaddy for the moodboard

Groaning you roll over in the bed feeling the soft satin sheets against your exposed skin. Breathing in the fresh smell of a beautiful morning you push the covers off your body. Looking out the picture window at the beautiful garden outside you can’t help but smile. Earlier this week you were getting up to the sound of car horns not birds chirping. Wrapping your body in a silk robe you open the door to a pair of twin girls in black and white maids’ uniforms “Good you're up, breakfast is served” nodding you slip on a pair of slippers.

“Good morning Y/n” your grandmother chimes as you enter the dining room. “Morning” sitting the maids pour you a cup of tea bowing as they step back, as you gracefully place sugar in the china cup you stir the liquid slowly making sure not to make noise. Looking over her glasses Queen Clarisse smiles softly “Good” she coos as your mother walks into the room running clothes on “Morning, Princess” she jokes grabbing a muffin from the basket on the table earning a gasp from your gran. “Hey, I’m not the princess in training. She is” she says mouth full pointing at you. Trying your very hardest to look proper you scoop some food onto your plate and begin eating.

“So, are you ready for tonight?” Clarisse asks sipping her tea nodding you crunch on a piece of toast. “So, what is this dinner anyway?” you ask mouthful earing a raised eyebrow from her. “It is an annual dinner party, we participate in every year. This year I [N/O/C] has the honor of hosting. It’s the perfect place to introduce the world to you.” She says processing the information you hardly notice the maids take your plate. “Does that ever stop being weird?” you ask watching the maids giggle “Yes, you get used to them” Clarisse says with a small laugh “Is that the time? You need to get dressed you have a meeting in half an hour.” She says standing. Joining her on her feet she kisses pecks your cheek “with who?” “You’ll see” she titters walking from the room getting followed by a small blonde-haired maid. It was your second day who could want to meet with you. Turing on the stairs you see the two maids following you “What are you doing?” you ask them “Do you want us to back up, your majesty” one says “It’s just I’m not used to having handmaidens” you laugh walking up the staircase.

Smoothing the soft pink fabric of the sundress you turn to the girls “What do you think?” you ask as they both nod their heads “If you're going to follow me around, I should at least know your names.” You giggle brushing your hair “I’m Joanna” “and I’m Cassandra” nodding the mirror you smile “Jo and Chrissy, I like it.” Sharing a quick glance, the girls smile and open the door for you to exit.

“He’s out behind the hedges,” Chrissy says as you step outside the fresh air filling your lungs, earning an elbow to the rib she quickly corrects herself “The person you’re meeting, that may or may not be he…is behind the…hedge” smiling your cheeks heat up at the thought of the only “he” you know in this new place. “Your girls can wait here” bowing to you as you skip down the steps into the garden.

The rush of smells hits you like a bus. The sweet smells mixed with the sound of a fountain bubbling in the background lulls you into kind of bliss and you lose all sense of the world around you. That is until you run into someone’s chest. Looking up Tom smiles down at you, realizing his hands are on your waist a blush grows on his cheeks, not letting go. “Hello,” he says still holding your waist “Hi” you stammer getting lost in his eyes. Your heart burst as he ran his fingers through your hair “You look beautiful today” blushing you turn away. “What did you wanna meet about,” you ask getting a hold of yourself “I wanted to see you before tonight, I wanted to talk to you about…something” he says rubbing the back of his neck nervously “Shall we walk?” you ask turning to him. Nodding he holds out an arm, taking it, you stroll through the garden talking and laughing.

“When my mother died, it was just my father and I. Can we sit?” he asks motioning to a small wooden bench overlooking a tiny pond with a pair of swans floating in the water. “The way the sun catches your eyes here is stunning” he smiles “stop it” you joke pushing him playfully. “Do I make you nervous?” he smirks “Not at all. Do I make…you nervous” You snicker placing a hand on his thigh mentally screaming. What the hell were you thinking? Did you really think you could out sly a prince? To your surprise, he smiles nervously “Yes” taking your hand away you fumble over words “Would you give me the honor of taking you to dinner, tomorrow?” he asks grabbing your hand in his. Feeling the warmth return to your cheeks you nod your head. Getting up he plants a soft kiss on your cheek “Till our next meeting” he says strolling off, biting your lip you hold in an excited scream.

Hovering your hand slightly above the railing you slowly descend the staircase into the large ballroom. Smiling outside you mentally scream when you see the sea of people all staring up at you. Stopping for a moment you lock gazes with a familiar set of brown eyes looking at you. Smiling brightly, you strut down the stairs meeting the queen at the bottom. Taking your arm she leads you around the room introducing you to some of the members of Parliament and the court. “And you of course already know Thomas but not his father Dominic,” she says as a curly haired man bows slightly kissing your hand “It is a pleasure to meet the new…princess” he says with a fake smile giving him a confused look Tom lets out a nervous laugh “Father please” he mumbles. Holding his hands up in surrender he gives the queen and you one last snobby smile before walking off “My apologies for my father he’s still a little um, hurt. Abut the whole thing” Tom says placing a hand on your waist kissing your cheek “Tomorrow” he whispers bowing away”

“Hurt about what?” you ask as the Queen grabs a champagne flute “If you wouldn’t have said yes to the throne, Thomas would have crowned prince and soon he’d take over as King. It’s a bunch of political mumbo-jumbo, just do me a favor stay away from him.” “But…” clearing her throat the Queen call the guests to the dining room for dinner.

Due to your grandmother's request, you had written a small note to Tom and had it delivered to his castle. You stated that dinner won’t work and that you needed time to think a few things over. Flipping the page of your book a small knock comes at the door, walking in Jo curtsies to you “If you haven’t a need for anything else I’ll be on my way to supper” she says with a small nod she leaves. Scanning the words of the page your mind wanders to other things, like what you’d be doing with Tom right now? You wondered what restaurant he would have taken you to and what you’d do after dinner? A small tap t the window pulls you from your thoughts, passing it off as nothing you push the thoughts from your head returning to your book. After a few more taps you reluctantly stand from your chair and stride to the window, standing on the grass three stories down was Tom. Throwing another stone at the window you push open the glass “What are you doing here?” you whisper as he motions over to a picnic basket “Please come down and talk to me, I want to know what I did wrong” he says dropping the rocks he held “I can’t, if my grandmother catches me sneaking out I’ll never hear the end of it” “Please Y/n. Climb down the vine, I’ll be here at the bottom” he tried again “Are you crazy” you snap going to close the window “I’m not leaving so you might as well come down” he pleads stepping back the window still open you pull on a pair of shoes. Were you really doing this? Before you could answer your own question, you were climbing down a thick latter of vine.

Leading you down to the shore of the pond Tom lays out a small blanket weighing it down with a rock and the picnic basket. Opening the brown wicker basket, he pulls out a square box. Placing it on the he opens the top “Sausage and Pineapple” you smile as he grabs you a slice “How did you know?” you ask as he grabs a piece “I may have asked your mother” even in the pale moonlight you can see the soft blush appear on Toms' cheeks “I’ve never had pineapple on pizza” he admits as you bite into your slice “It’s the best” you say mouth full of food smiling he raises the steaming food to his mouth “Here goes nothing” he laughs taking a bite. Chewing a little he gives you a large grin “You have a little” you mumble wiping the corner of his mouth with your thumb, leaving your hand on his cheek he puts his pizza down gripping your chin he leans in close “Is this alright?” pressing your lips softly against his you breathe out “Yeah” kissing you again your hand snakes into his curls “I’ve never felt this before, ever” he whispers as you look into his eyes. Remembering your grandmother’s words, you turn away “Did I do something wrong?” he asks panic quite clear in his tone “No, it’s something my gran said” you mumble as he grabs your cheek turning him to you “My father is a jealous, conniving man. Let me show you that I’m nothing like him” he smiles “The pizza is a good start” you joke pecking his lips again.

@midtownvaledictorian@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked@tiemeupspidey@champagneholland@fangirltopic@marveltomjunkie@kingquackdaddy@panicatttckiss@seilamigliorcosacheabbiamaivisto @casualprincess77 @ging3r-fall@rivedale @holland-osterfield101@parkerscupcake@lanilovespsychos @clairesrainbow@tryn25 @chrisayy3

Reputation in my eyes: a thread

Track 1 - Ready For It, this is the beginning of the album so the title ready for it serves as both a figurative question of are you ready for my side of the story as well a metaphor as if she's asking her new lover are you ready for my crazy life and all that comes with it? The song is so catchy yet straight to the point and I think that really sets the mood for what Reputation is about: it's unapologetically honest. Track 2 - End Game! This song is so 🔥! It's so refreshing hearing Ed on an album again! Though I can't really pin who it's about it could go many directions. In a way it's kinda like she's talking to all her supporters saying I'm in it for the long haul so don't play games with me. This song also introduces another powerful theme throughout the album and that is she's pointing out somewhat proudly but also anxiously that she has a big reputation and she doesn't know how people in her life will react to it. Track 3 - I Did Something Bad. I think Taylor's best revenge for Calvin was not giving him attention by writing songs about their love or even destruction but instead by giving him Nothing! The best revenge is the one where you show that person you are unaffected and happier than ever and this is what this song is about. Everyone's saying she did something bad but she feels so good because she's getting revenge in her own way because she "owes him nothing." Track 4 - Don't Blame Me kind of goes hand in hand with Blank Space doesn't it? I can't help but feel it's her writing about everything everyone says about her and how the media paints her as a boy obsessed crazy person. But because Reputation is all about taking back that reputation she paints the story to seem as though she's okay with that description now and owns it like a boss. Track 5 - Delicate is just stripping everything down to honesty. If we are correct about the theory about the "..." starting her fake rep to her real one in RFI and So It Goes then Delicate is the middle song that just lays everything out on the table. She has finally found a lover who "loves me for me" so she wants to hold on to this boy and take it careful. This time she doesn't want to rush into promises that can't be kept and information that would scare him away. Track 6 - Look What You Made Me Do: I think all I have to say about this one is it's the clap back the media deserved. She is tired of others writing HER narrative so now she's grown up and finally ready to take it back. Track 7 - So It Goes... ends the first half of the album. In a way it's an aside where Taylor's addressing her life away from all the media all the attention and just experiencing life with her man, Joe. She says "all the pieces fall right into place" when it's just the two of them ignoring the world. Track 8 - Gorgeous is one of my favs because I think it's such a raw and adorable view into Taylor's viewpoint. It's no hiding Taylor has always had an obsession with love and boys and this is just the cute girly song that perfectly represents our girl. Secondly it kind of starts the narrative of her and Joe and how smitten she was with him from the beginning. When she says "I hate what I can't have" I think it refers to how when she met Joe she was already dating Calvin so she couldn't have him. And "you make me so happy it turns back to sad" is just one of her more brilliant lyrics because in life it's SO TRUE. Track 9 - Don't let the upbeat tune and melodies fool you this song is so sad. First of all it is the most Jack Antonoff styled song on the album and I LOVE IT!!! Secondly, I have no authority to claim I know exactly what each song is about but let me just try this one because as of now it's my fav song on the album:) In this one she's basically saying we met while I was running away so you shouldn't be surprised I left you too. Anyways to start off I think it has to do with Taylor being in a relationship where she feels trapped. The person she's with (cough cough Calvin) had her hands tied "the ties were black the lies were white" and she just had to get out of that toxic relationship "I wanted to leave him I needed a reason" but she needed a reason and that's when she met Tom. But if you recall the same night she met Tom she also met Joe, but we will come back to that later. Anyways he frees her of her bad relationship and they "were flying" in a getaway car as they escaped and travelled around the world (Rome remember?) and had a good time but taylor warns a getaway car "never gets far" and as we know their relationship only lasted a few months. Now here's the sad part, reputation is all about putting everything on the table plain and simple and I think the bride highlights that. She says "it's no surprise I turned you in" she's admitting what she did in retrospect was hurtful and wrong and what really connected the dots for me was that last line where she says "should have known I'd be the first to leave, think about the place where you first met me" this lyric is loaded!!! If you think about it the place where tay first Tom was the MET Gala. She met Tom there while she was still dating Calvin but left him for Tom, consequently she also met Joe there and ended up doing the exact same thing she did to Calvin to Tom despite the fact Tom saved her and that's why she owns up to her crime "I was crying in a getaway Car said goodbye in a getaway car" she knows she hurt his feelings but nonetheless escaped in the car to Joe. I'm a swiftie first but I also adore Hiddleston and if you know the story their romance than this song definitely has a distinguished hurt and sting to it. Track 10 - King Of My Heart this song perfectly wraps up all three of her past relationships into one song. She starts by saying "she's better off alone" because nothing works even with boys she thought she loved like Calvin and Tom. But in the end their "expensive cars" (quick aside: I cracked up at that lyric because it's no secret Calvin always drives range rovers and Tom's jaguars) didn't do anything for her. Then she met Joe and she knew "all at once" he was the one and that's beautiful. It further shares their love story and how he has been picking up the broken pieces of her heart. Track 11 - This one is also difficult to pin point but the message in itself is clear: because of her fame status her hands will always be tied by lies and spotlights and what not but she wants her lover to chose to dance through the storm. In a way it's kinda like I Know Places on pop steroids. Track 12 - I honestly don't know what to make of Dress yet so... I think if anything it's a little view into her private life with her lover. One thing that is for sure is it's about Joe. I mean the lyric "your buzz cut and my bleached hair" gives it away and also further supports the ideas behind Getaway Car. Track 13 - This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things is the shade the world desperately needed. I think this is a clap back at Kim and Kayne but it could be about Calvin or the court trial or hell even the whole world really lol. All I know is Taylor losing all control in that laugh is my aesthetic. Track 14 - The song’s titled “Call It What You Want” because no matter how blatantly obvious who the song is about people will still be trying to guess past lovers and bring up dirt. End of story. Track 15 - News Year Day. This song is so perfect I don’t know how she does it but it perfectly captures true love in the sense that it’s not one of those love songs about dancing in the rain or kissing or something romantically dramatic because that’s not all love is, love is cherishing the moments doing the simple little things like cleaning up bottles together the day after a party and call me crazy but that was the most romantic lyric of the whole song! So simple and beautiful and I wish I could experience love like that

Season 6, Mission 7: Lessons in Love

Revenge of the Nerds

MAXINE MYERS: Wait, wait. So and Nadia's gone to work with Amelia because Amelia's taken over New Canton?

SAM YAO: Not so much taken over as, um... well, yeah. Taken over. But it's not like she's running things for them. She's got them mostly running things for her. She's just very... you know. Decisive.

PAULA COHEN: People do like a decisive leader. And I suppose they can't do much worse than they were before. Any word on the location of the babies?

SAM YAO: Mm, no. We're working on it. Even the Laundry can't find anything for us. You see, ideally, we need someone inside Sigrid's inner circle, but well, that's going to be hard to arrange. In the meantime, getting parts for this transmitter of Jody's is a good start.

MAXINE MYERS: So that's what we're heading to this comms station for. We've caught snatches of their transmissions. We know they are bound to have the cables that Jody needs. I, for one, am glad to be serving Abel.

PAULA COHEN: It didn't need to be us, though, did it? Tom was going to go, and you insisted we went instead. Five, has Maxine told you the real reason she wanted to go on this mission?

MAXINE MYERS: For Abel?

PAULA COHEN: It's because she hasn't been able to find any copies of Xena: Warrior Princess since the apocalypse, and that just happens to be what this place is broadcasting.

MAXINE MYERS: That's just a coincidence! Back me up, Sam.

SAM YAO: Oh whoa-ho-ho, no. No, no, no. You two can leave me out of this. Remember our co-parenting contract?

MAXINE MYERS: I don't think that really applies...

SAM YAO: Oh yes, it does. I can read you the exact clause. When we agreed to be co-parents, I got it from both of you, in writing, that I would never, ever be asked to adjudicate in a row.

PAULA COHEN: Fine. Five, listen to this: Max volunteered us for a mission, on date night - a date night where I was planning to make latkes - because she has a crush on Xena flipping Warrior whatever.

MAXINE MYERS: You've never seen Xena: Warrior Princess! [laugh] Right, we need to make that right immediately.

SAM YAO: Yeah. Guys, before you get Xena: Warrior Princess, you're going to have to make it through that playground full of child zombies. I think they must have been trapped in the school until the storm the other day.

MAXINE MYERS: Oh God! The kids are the worst! Run!

SAM YAO: Okay, I think you lost them. Hey, it's weird, though. That school playground's been safe for months. I've got the report here. We sent in runners to check it clear, room by room, last month.

PAULA COHEN: You think it could be a deliberate deployment, then? By the comms station?

SAM YAO: Mm, maybe. I mean, it's a bit weird for a comms station, to be honest. Not only are they broadcasting Xena, their building used to be a distribution center for Geek King. You know, you know, the online retailer.

MAXINE MYERS: Yep. Which is why they have access to Xena DVDs.

PAULA COHEN: I'm surprised it hasn't been cleared out before now. People always want DVDs and stuff.

SAM YAO: [imitates Boromir from the Lord of the Rings] "Ah, but one does not simply get DVDs during a zombie apocalypse."

MAXINE MYERS: There's a dumbass rumor that this warehouse is full of kind of extreme nerds. Dangerous. Murdery.

SAM YAO: The Winchers. Like, imagine nerds, but if they went feral. Took cosplays too far, reenacted all the goriest parts of the stuff they're into. The rumor is they used to be 4chan "alpha male" believers, and then the zombie apocalypse came, and they blamed the feminazis, and - [sighs] they just went down that rabbit hole and just kept on going.

MAXINE MYERS: They're broadcasting Xena. No one who broadcasts Xena could be an evil man.

SAM YAO: What, even if they're setting zombie traps around their perimeter?

MAXINE MYERS: Well, we don't know that was them. We'll probably find some people holed up in there, sending out Xena clips to make contact with other fans. We'll get the cables and come back later with everyone's orders for specific Blake's 7 episodes and plastic lightsabers. [laughs] It's going to be great. Come on!

[door creaks open and clangs shut]

SAM YAO: Are you in?

MAXINE MYERS: We're in. This place is huge! And... kind of spooky.

[zombie moans]

PAULA COHEN: Uh oh. Not all the warehouse pickers are gone. Some of them have turned zombie. Look, they're still at work trying to fill internet orders. See that one stacking Game of Thrones box sets?

SAM YAO: Ooh, ooh! Do they have the last season? Because I never -

MAXINE MYERS: No, Sam. We're just here for Xena. I mean, Xena and those cables. Anyway, we've got to move fast. I think that one of them spotted us.

MAXINE MYERS: Quick, into this storeroom.

[door creaks open and snaps shut]

PAULA COHEN: Wait, this is the transmission room. See? There's the broadcasting equipment.

MAXINE MYERS: Yes. These are the cables, and - !

PAULA COHEN: Oh, the DVDs. Xena: Warrior Princess. Let's see. You know you said I'm your Gabrielle, but looking at this, maybe you're the Gabrielle and I'm the Xena.

MAXINE MYERS: Honey, you have never seen the show. How can you possibly know who's the Xena?

PAULA COHEN: Uh, because she's the one who has Warrior Princess in her name? I know what you like.

SAM YAO: Okay, I've got the cams up. Uh, yup, it's clear for you to come out of there. Those zoms are trapped in an aisle of Funko figures. Oh my God!

MAXINE MYERS: What? What is it?

SAM YAO: Well, they've got an Ursula from The Little Mermaid! Do you have any idea how – well, dear God, don't eat it! Look, if you pass those Funkos on your way out – oh God! I need another camera. There's something coming, in the shadows. Someone. Guys, I think you should get out of there. Go, now!

SAM YAO: Yeah, okay. Guys, just really keep running. I've got more cams up, and [sighs] no, it doesn't look good.

PAULA COHEN: More zoms?

SAM YAO: I don't really know how to say this, guys. It appears to be Voldemort.

MAXINE MYERS: What? Voldemort is coming after us?

PAULA COHEN: Someone dressed as Voldemort.

SAM YAO: Well, I guess. It just looks so like him! Ugh, no! I just got a full face view. Actually no nose.

PAULA COHEN: Someone who has dressed up as Voldemort, and taken it so seriously, they've cut off their own nose?

SAM YAO: He's heading your way. And oh. Oh! He has a mob behind him.

MAXINE MYERS: Death Eaters?

SAM YAO: More like Ewoks, or um, Daleks? But sort of a costume mash-up? They're Darwoks? Ewoleks? Oh, that is so wrong.

PAULA COHEN: I can hear them. Oh God, they sound so weird!

MAXINE MYERS: It's not just weird, it's them. Winchers are very real. Okay, I can admit when I was wrong. They're not going to be our friends. We are not going to reenact Xena together. We've got our DVDs, we've got our cables. We need to get out of here.

SAM YAO: Uh, okay, okay. Yeah, uh, right, then left, then third right. Go. Run!

MOB: [chants in the background] Sacrifice! Sacrifice...

PAULA COHEN: Sam, this is a dead end. And it's dark.

SAM YAO: Yeah. They've turned off the lights. And I think they've cut access to half my cams!

MAXINE MYERS: Where are the Winchers?

SAM YAO: Uh... no, I can't see them on the cams.

PAULA COHEN: If we hide here for a while, maybe they'll lose interest and we'll get away.

[door opens, MOB chants in background]

WINCHER: Oh, I don't think you'll be getting away. Not now, or ever!

MAXINE MYERS: Oh God, it's Voldemort. Ugh, your nose! Did you do that to yourself?

WINCHER: Call me Harold! Harold Wincher. And I was Voldemort, but now I am – [chokes] Ah. Sorry. Uh, could somebody help me with my robe? It was meant to fall dramatically to the floor by itself, but it snagged on the Elder Wand.

MAXINE MYERS: Sam, get us out of here!

WINCHER: I am... Lord Summerisle! ... It's uh, it's from The Wicker Man. Look, I had to put it together very hastily when we saw you approaching, and he doesn't have the same striking look as our old Voldy. But you know, I've yet to actually master Avada Kedavra, but everyone loves a barbecue!

SAM YAO and MAXINE MYERS and PAULA COHEN: What?!

SAM YAO: The end of The Wicker Man! They burn Edward Woodward alive! I think the Winchers are going to reenact that. Guys!

MAXINE MYERS: The mob are going to burn us alive!

PAULA COHEN: This was meant to be a date night.

WINCHER: Ewoks! Daleks! Seize them! Bind them to the poles!

SAM YAO: Yeah, I've got a clear eye line on the mob now. Oh my God, this is so many kinds of horrible. Uh, they're all in costume, but that one is wearing a Sith Lord robe with a Time Lord headdress. How could you? Also, guys, most of their costumes are bloodstained. They're really for real.

PAULA COHEN: Maxie, if this is it, I'm sorry I was so whiny about coming here. I love spending time with you. I can't believe I was jealous of your stupid show. I love you, Max.

MAXINE MYERS: Paula, I know, love. I do. And we've been through too much for it to end up like this. Right? They are crazy fans. I am a crazy fan. I know how to get under their skin. Wincher. Harold Wincher.

WINCHER: How may I help you, heathen? A last request before you are condemned to the flames?

MAXINE MYERS: Yes. My request is: be better! [MOB quiets] Harold, this reenactment is terrible! You're just wearing an Aran jumper. Lord Summerisle had a tweed jacket. Your mob of supposedly bloodthirsty pagan villagers look like they've run naked through the merch hall of Comic-Con, covered in glue! [MOB grumbles] And we're meant to be burned in a wicker man, not tied to poles.

WINCHER: Okay, but the wicker man is a very big prop. We had no lead time, and – oh God, she's right. This is a mess! None of you are even standing like bloodthirsty pagan villagers! I – look, I'm sorry. This was a rush job, and it shows. All right, take five. Let them go.

PAULA COHEN: That was amazing, Max.

MAXINE MYERS: Not now, honey. Quick, before they change their minds. Run!

PAULA COHEN: Okay, I have to admit, that was a pretty good date night for someone who likes seeing her girlfriend save the day by being brilliant.

MAXINE MYERS: What can I say? I'm pretty motivated when I'm trying to get home so I can watch Xena with my hot girlfriend... maybe dress up in my old Xena outfit for my hot girlfriend... reenact a few Xena bathing scenes with my hot girlfriend.

PAULA COHEN: Xena outfit, you say? Like the one on the DVD box? Mm, I don't hate it.

MAXINE MYERS: Oh, mine is way better than that. I made it from scrap metal in my spare time. What? [laughs] Isn't that what anyone would do in their spare time? [laughs] [continue chatting in the background]

SAM YAO: Hey, Five, now you've got those cables, I think I've worked out an alternative route home for you. How about you and me take a little detour and leave the doctors to it, hmm?

On Nightwing #18

This is just getting unfair. I think I’ve mentioned before that Nightwing’s been sailing under the radar as one of the two or three most entertaining classic-style superhero comics right now, but Nightwing Must Die! as even more of a straight-up continuation of Morrison’s Batman than Grayson is basically scientifically engineered at this point to appeal to me. And with the latest development, there’s a lot to unpack.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

I didn’t think Bane’s "I swear by the blood of my parents to avenge their deaths by spending the rest of my life conquering all criminals" was going to have any competition as the hypest moment in comics this year, but it seems the gauntlet’s been thrown down. Dr. Hurt is back - if visibly a bit worse for wear going by his suit and cowl - and the threat is on an entirely different level now, not just to Dick Grayson but to the Batman Family as a whole. And way beyond the surface-level homages to Morrison’s time on Batman (shot to the back of the skull, except this time Dick’s the one who has to beat the clock and save the day rather than getting yanked to the side in the finale issue of his own story!), he actually fits this arc like a black glove.

On basic level a big chunk of this arc has been about Dick in a parental position between Damian and the potential child with Shawn, so it makes sense for the ultimate Bad Father of their world to emerge as the real threat. Pyg’s his servant (one whose talents are particularly suited to what Hurt’s trying to do here, which I’ll get to in a second), his status as either The Literal Devil or an unwitting servant of Darkseid potentially justifies the weird Multiverse bits leaking in around the edges of the arc, and as Damian’s 14th birthday is imminent given Rebirth has established him as just turning 13, the events leading to Batman of Bethlehem start to get closer, and Hurt’s known to play a crucial role in them when Damian one way or another sells him his soul.

But there’s more to it than that.

The immediate question is: why Dick Grayson? Hurt visibly never cared about him in their first meeting, and while he was one half of that amazing double-punch with Damian in Batman and Robin, I don’t think that’d get him to devote a scheme on this scale to killing him when a sniper would do, much less risk the life of a Wayne. The answer of course is that he doesn’t want him dead. Hell, the solicit for #20 tells you that, and also makes clear why it’s Hurt: “Very few villains have ever broken Batman—but the man who’s been tormenting Nightwing is one of them! Why has he chosen Nightwing, and not Batman, to serve him in the dark new world he sees coming?” He wants a servant. More than that, one formed under very specific conditions, because “the best of you are driven by pain, powered by tragedy”.

This is not a new strategy for Simon Hurt. In fact, it’s the oldest trick in his book.

That’s why the arc is titled Nightwing Must Die. Not because he wants to kill Dick Grayson, but because he wants him to be Batman again - a monstrous new kind of Batman, broken and bent to the devil’s service. To Hurt, Grayson was never more than a worthless piece of big top trash, meant to serve his betters (might he know about the Court of Owls’ plans for him?). In this case via Pyg’s mind-eroding and person-crafting talents going hand-in-hand with the death of a loved one, tying together Dick’s fatherly concerns and Damian’s worries over who will inherent the cowl into a single coherent idea: is Dick Grayson supposed to be Batman?  Of course this puts me in the awkward position of kinda rooting for Dr. Hurt, given my answer to that question is definitely and thoroughly yes (especially if that means no more editorially-forced Blüdhaven arcs that Tim Seeley’s visibly less interested in than the good shit on either side of it), but even though this probably won’t lead to Dick reclaiming the title, I’m hopeful that Seeley will finally be able to justify Nightwing as an independent identity in a way that’ll work to my satisfaction.

And on top of all that: where the hell do we go from here? Dr. Hurt’s back, and it feels like it’s going to take more than the remaining two issues of this arc to resolve that given the scale of the danger he represents. And if and when Hurt makes it out of this, it makes absolutely no sense for only Nightwing to be going after him alone; Batman isn’t going to go “oh yeah, totally Dick, you handle my immortal evil-powered grandad who once drove me insane all by yourself.” What’s his place going forward? Is he going to be heavily involved in Metal? If not, I suspect any further attacks by him are going to be on the scale of a full-blown crossover. Batman as a title is going into the past for awhile (I suspect because of Metal being the obvious Important Batman Story and running at the same time, same as Zero Year ran during Batman Eternal), and when it comes back I wouldn’t be surprised if Seeley’s old Grayson partner in Tom King collaborated on a huge Batfamily vs. Dr. Hurt story. If they hold off awhile maybe it could even be the big 80th anniversary Batman event for 2019, with Detective Comics #1000 playing in as Damian’s birthday approaches and the death of Batman (which King already hinted at coming in his run!) looms. In any case, while there’s still every chance the creators could blow it, I’m at the moment more than happy to see Simon Hurt return to wreak, as he would put it, spectacular new atrocities.

news-story

He is holding a pistol and looks around nervously A televsion news story An old man sits in a recliner and turns on a giant screen Did you believe you would see an end violence in your life time? A boy with a bandaged head stands at the door of his house as he waves to the boy, who waves back The old man smiles The boy opens the front door and walks inside "Hello, " says the old man That was a musth or the endless would have never been created The boy awakens and sees an arm sticking out of the wall In the corner of the screen small text fades up The artist apparently lived at 433 Stenos Avenue So there you have it, do you think you know the mystery man? Billy fea bots eye's turn on and start blinking red as it looks into the camera There was a warning for today, if you see that an endless attempt has been made, calls police The artist laughed for this, his motivation was to bring the best things in life king and a pleasant dinner together as only an ingenious surrealist could Billy fea bots eye's turn on and start blinking red as it looks into the camera Designer of odd wad's alligator dinner delivery service Designer of odd wad's alligator dinner delivery service calls police A menu screen appears on set of an alligator grilling steaks over a hibatchi A menu screen appears on set of an alligator grilling steaks over a hibatchi Would you like to hear next from the Mary Attraction Hospital Murders? Or perhaps the Rotten Door Cases? Billy steps out of the van and closes the door Would you like to hear next from the Mary Attraction Hospital Murders? Jase or kbar read out Of course the TV screen will display a food truck parade on great holidays so they'll probably ignore the van getting closed even if it takes a while Jase or kbar read out Kbar presses some blue jeep switches And the jeeps engine turns off So begins a new horror hack by Sierra On-line Kbar presses some blue jeep switches 10s hunter to 1 reptile avoidance program Kbar unsheaths giant hunters knife "Sheath maine 10s hunter to 1 reptile avoidance program We started with a bang, as base ball player statues dropped toxic waste barrels on targets Then came raining pinball, and you were there for the painful jumper accident We started with a bang, Rock music playing as you fight past tar spiders to a large metal door with an out dated circle and slash on it Lead a group of gifted children in the fight to save Christmas Rock music playing as you fight past tar spiders to a large metal door with an out dated circle and slash on it Jase from googizon and today we are going to try our own internet troll Click Jase from googizon and today we are going to try our own internet troll Eat an alligator burger at an opening at the mermaid cafe With googz as your guide you go to the hospital Eat an alligator burger at an opening at the mermaid cafe Horizons gallery in brownsville, brooklyn has brought in live snakes and alligator By Hunter Adams and it is really true that is hideous A breakfast cafe in lower manhattan has launched a whole all brooklyn has brought in live snakes and alligator Bizarre bites right at your phone in real time! Your hunger grows as a small cooked alligator slowly bobs up and down Bizarre bites right at your phone in real time! Whole alligator dinner served on a bowling pin for $9 The fake plant cover snaps open as the gator lunges forward! Whole alligator dinner served on a bowling pin for $9 Map of brooklyn with address Green text on a black screen Adams focused mainly on environment "Hacking the human race" has been termed By the artist Adams focused mainly on environment "Hacking the human race" has been termed We are always looking for some more great fan fiction As you all know, last week was the vernal equinox here in the Northern Hemisphere, which means for the next six months We are always looking for some more great fan fiction New whole animals to display First it was lobsters that came to life, then crabs, and hopefully next month It will be alligators Odd wad's alligator delivery service allows us to get some wonderful animals for free Just one more example of odd waste from odd wad Do you not see that it is a sign? Odd wad's alligator delivery service allows us to get some wonderful animals for free Reliably and responsibly during our all our openings my collection has been lightning rods for s Reliably and responsibly during our all our openings, Jupiter evan williams, executive chef at yabba dabba hooters understands more than anyone how weather can affect an event executive chef at yabba dabba hooters understands more than anyone how weather can affect an event Tell us about the art on display Head games asks you to play tons of tugs, paper, scissors Against the computer Would you guys recommend the alligator burger or the doors bacon cheese burger? The killer snaps a petrified alligator in half Would you guys recommend the alligator burger or the doors bacon cheese burger? Yes i would like it a lot, but if it was gonna happen it was gonna happen Yes i would like it a lot, You know what yeah i absolutly would The paranoid party from that day on when he has to go to the hospital for a broken arm It tastes good you just have to get over the fact your eating baby dragon Thanks infinity plus most places have these insects frozen immediately A wave of dizziness passes over you as the colors in the room suddenly turn to vibrant pastels Heh heh yeah i admit i do like sacrifing them once in a while when im sacrificing babies Shazam gets a matchmaker to force matches between partners with communication issues Heh heh yeah i admit i do like sacrifing them once in a while when im sacrificing babies The way i see it is ok is they gonna turn that into a burger with a side of fries at the very least im getting a meal out of this With purpose and a continued understanding of why The way i see it is ok is they gonna turn that into a burger with a side of fries at the very least im getting a meal out of this No one wants to hurt a cow anymore right? Same deal here No one wants to hurt a cow anymore right? Alligators can eat you why cant i eat them You are always looking over your shoulder for the cops Alligators can eat you why cant i eat them? With odd wad its easy to download any song and artist you want! It was the i49 campus massacre With odd wad its easy to download any song and artist you want! Are you more interested in learning the minds of the criminals, or correcting the communication issues in your own relationships? Look past the blood! Follow the things that unite us to our fellow man! Are you more interested in learning the minds of the criminals, [the boogoti basics of alligator dinner delivery] So we began taking enun seminars at the university in the late oso One man stands alone against an oncoming monster Perhaps cuz you would rather learn about [mirrorlabs] Asians have larger brains than average, by like 200 cubic centimeters One girl swipes her card in the door of Apartment 505 If your more of gun nut check the lastest firearms at [kroger market] Either way this one will still destroy your entire apartment if only from the smell Hunt alligator from the safety of your own home with dynamiteior indoor fireworks Hunt alligator from the safety of your own home with dynamiteior indoor fireworks Depending on your weapon depends on how little and how big the haul is so check that too when you go Fiery eruptions are common in the back rows Want to master a wild west shootout? Depending on your weapon depends on how little and how big the haul is so check that too when you go the good thing is with the iphone 7 your selfies come out crystal clear every time Go eat some alligator right now The wildlife adventurer has very oily skin too, so it plays havoc with your black tie These alligators are domesticated and made for selfies Choose an endless from mirrorlabs Pick a gun from the kroger market firearms dealer Go have some drinks and take cheesy pictures in front of the alamo Pick a gun from the kroger market firearms dealer Lease a glopratchet for 44, 000 thousand hours or the end of the hunt Looking for edventurous alligator photos? Discover a gator where the creature has never previously existed Tom kaulitz is extremely close to his brother georg, and while they occasionally have arguments, they quickly reconcile Discover a gator where the creature has never previously existed Aim your gun and shoot the alligator family in the eyes The alligator pops and slithers a mile away to try to gather himself Aim your gun and shoot the alligator family in the eyes Kill your prey with a five star headshot from left ear to right eye Kill your prey with a five star headshot from left ear to right eye Choose a skinned carcass or fourty lbs of gator meat from your kill Choose a skinned carcass or fourty lbs of gator meat from your kill Keep track of your kill count The light glows red and you touch the button a little accidentally, sending a line of bullets off into the dark water Keep track of your kill count Fourty eight hours later odd wad alligator delivery services delivers your kill He too falls victim to the many knives that daggers at your side belt This chop saws gator bines into all types of dishes Odd wad alligator dinner delovery edible wild life marketplace deliver at your door Odd wad alligator dinner delovery edible wild life marketplace deliver at your door The alligator dinner serves 12 to 15 people at your alligator feast The alligator dinner serves 12 to 15 people at your alligator feast It took me years to bag that first one but I was pretty dehydrated by the time I got to him, so it goes pretty quick once you're prepared with some drinking water It took me years to bag that first one, Now i kill gators all over the place Doesn't know what an alligator is? Alright pass! [mirrorlabs] The device you're looking at looks like a small silver disk that hovers with the two propellers on either side, speeding it forward Mirrorlabs leads the world in luxury brand of portable laser self-defence weapons It detects movement in your house like an alarm Mirrorlabs leads the world in luxury brand of portable laser self-defence weapons Endless life extension technology makes us David Kahn and rich, making our company worth over 22 trillion dollars! We work with the military to create drone technology like that in drones Endless life extension technology makes us David Kahn and rich, They push the boundaries of artifical conciousness every day in high-end projects Eternal end product: immortality for all eternity They push the boundaries of artifical conciousness every day in high-end projects In a growing piece of highly advanced software created from state of the art hacking, combined with endless funding and research The limitless power of this engine propels anything into outer space, revolutionaring the world In a growing piece of highly advanced software created from state of the art hacking, The collective minds of past humans live on in an advanced super computer 19 hours later Tells you every little detail about your local area like places, people and objects The collective minds of past humans live on in an advanced super computer Follow your leader the smart AI that monitors every discussion online Control brand new electronic devices with the wave of a hand, with futurescroll Follow your leader, This amazing little gizmo can lock down the steering wheel of most any car, then unlock it by issuing a verbal command [glopratchets] Are practicle industructable aircraft that has limited edition energy drinks Gorilla beverage rivals that of mark cuban's brainwash juice Are practicle industructable aircraft that has limited edition energy drinks Without a human pilot aboard The edible energy drinks that arnt giant piss flavoured They rush you through airport, even straight into a flight leaving for your destination Glopratchets may be controlled with ten finger movements giving 100's of possabilities You now have the ability to use all these added function with your command password input Glopratchets may be controlled with ten finger movements giving 100's of possabilities Either autonomously by and endles or a limited amount of self entries by operators Completely power and energy independent, never need charging or recharging ever Either autonomously by and endles or a limited amount of self entries by operators By the remote control of a bounded persons limbs or huge cargos across the globe instantaneously By the remote control of a bounded persons limbs or huge cargos across the globe instantaneously Usa classifies unmanned glopratchets into two types Ones which can move only horizontally and detach from their docking points vertically, returning to it after they have visited another port Usa classifies unmanned glopratchets into two types: A piece of technology rumored to exist They may or may not exist, nobody knows since they have never been seen despite all claims to the contrary Indestructable self sufficant communication equipment that enables everywhere and anywhere local communication Personal webscreens are standard issue in all army issue laser rifles to your specifications upon enlistment Indestructable self sufficant communication equipment that enables everywhere and anywhere local communication Encasing that moves so fast that everything inside appears to be frozen in time Take a step into the ftrw Experiments w gateway chamber Encasing that moves so fast that everything inside appears to be frozen in time In your niche field, you often find yourself agreeing to go along with The Doctor's insane ideas, but you just can't do it today No person can see it or record it attempting to bring about No person can see it or record it attempting to bring about it The salvation of all living things or the destruction of all known matter is a fairly common concern on this plane, you have long become numb to such grandiose ideas The salvation of all living things or the destruction of all known matter is a fairly common concern on this plane, When did this fancination with alligators first begin you wonder, you can barely remember The science fiction fan communnity with which you are most familiar is openly hostile towards the Doctor When did this fancination with alligators first begin, together Looking up angrily, you surprise all the men outside your tank, staring and pointing, stunned Well my first memory is of me and my mother playing with a hologram of one Well my first memory is of me and my mother playing with a hologram of one together You can't have, that creates the most hideous dry hissing screech imaginable, the tank would never withstand it otherwise The Doctor smiles coyly, taps on the glass and waves You copy the wave The profe 2073 Less interesting vocabulary words that can be used in extended sentences increased from 50-fold to 62-fold And increase to Social Vocabulary makes 83 1%! This rate increases rapidly! So is this The Doctor's social experiment? It's illegal to make a duplicate that works and thinks identically to a human being! The computer informs you that act of this nature is called Streetgun 'A', and the most primitive form It turns out that the rebels were responsible after all Gallons upon gallons upon rivers upon torrents of molten steel pour from the newly formed gap in the wall, run like monstrous burning serpents down the staircase The world rarely makes sense to the sane, let alone the mentally deranged At least you have found the truth, that's why you're here There's no turning back now The topic: Humanity's woes are the government's who rule it

The Best Patios And Backyards In Austin added to Google Docs

The Best Patios And Backyards In Austin

Austin is a city that’s at its best outdoors. We have a world-famous swimming pool, we make up reasons to have music festivals (Eeyore’s Birthday Party should be on your radar), and we congregate anywhere there’s shade to sip cold drinks. And there’s no better way to combat the triple-digit heat and catastrophic traffic than by hanging out on a patio. But not all of them are created equal.

This guide highlights a few of our favorite bars and restaurants around town where you can eat on a patio, backyard, or any other open-air environment. Many of these spots have indoor dining as well, so you may want to make a reservation or call ahead if eating outside is a priority.

the spots  Perla's Seafood and Oyster Bar $ $ $ $ Seafood ,  Raw Bar  in  South Congress $$$$ 1400 S Congress Ave Ste B100

Perla’s has one of the most recognizable patios in Austin - in large part from being in the middle of South Congress, where it practically bleeds onto the sidewalk. Make a reservation or put your name on the waitlist, do some people-watching, and get ready to enjoy some of the best seafood in town. But also be ready to drop $36 on a lobster roll.

Yard Bar $ $ $ $ Bar Food  in  Allandale $$$$ 6700 Burnet Rd

Hanging out with dogs is a whole lot cheaper and more fun than therapy, so here’s your chance to do so even if your landlord doesn’t allow pets. The entire “patio” at Yard Bar off Burnet is an enormous fenced-in dog park/playground, with a full bar inside. Sometimes you just need a cocktail after a long day at work - but most other times adding hounds into the mix cures all ails.

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INFATUATION NEWSLETTER Get our newest guides & reviews first,

plus more restaurant intel you won't find anywhere else. ATL ATX BOS CHI LDN LA MIA NYC PHL SF SEA DC Subscribe Smart move. Excellent information will arrive in your inbox soon. Do you have friends and family who also eat food? Enter their emails below and we’ll make sure they’re eating well. (Don’t worry, we won’t subscribe them to our newsletter - they can do that themselves.) Help Your Friends No Thanks Well done. You’re a good person. All good. We still like you. Want to quickly find restaurants on the go? Download The Infatuation app.    Mackenzie Smith Kelley Kinda Tropical $ $ $ $ American ,  Bar Food ,  Burgers ,  Vegetarian ,  Cafe/Bakery ,  Brunch  in  East Austin ,  Govalle $$$$ 3501 E 7th St

Kinda Tropical feels, as you might have guessed, kind of tropical, with pulled jackfruit sandwiches, yuca fries, and tamari-glazed chicken wings, alongside things like avocado toast. Typically, the inside operates as a minimarket, selling beer, wine, and snacks, while the back patio houses a number of spread out tables. Currently, dine-in service is only available on the patio, but you can still snag most of the marketplace items for takeout on your way home.

 Cherrywood Coffeehouse $ $ $ $ Cafe/Bakery  in  Cherrywood $$$$ 1400 E 38th 1/2 St

Not only do they serve some of the best breakfast tacos in town, but Cherrywood also has a spacious, dog-friendly, tree-covered patio/music venue where you’ll sometimes see the gardener carefully nurturing his potted plants. If this wasn’t clear from our previous sentence, Cherrywood is a highly Austin-y place to have some laid-back time outside.

 Nicolai McCrary Hold Out Brewing $$$$ 1208 W 4th St

The latest project from the folks who brought you Better Half, Little Brother, and Brew & Brew, Holdout Brewing has a short menu of smash burgers, wings, and curly fries that made us reconsider our previous devotion to Arby’s. And of course, great beer. This Clarksville spot shares a patio with Better Half, so you can order off their menu as well. Right now all seating is on their patio, by reservation only.

 Mackenzie Smith Kelley Better Half Coffee & Cocktails $ $ $ $ American  in  Clarksville $$$$ 406 Walsh St

As we mentioned above, Better Half Bar shares a patio with sister brewery, Holdout Brewing. And while they don’t serve the same smash burger as their spot across the lawn, they have an equally tasty cheeseburger as well as a full menu of sandwiches, pastas, and salads. If you’re there early, grab a chicken biscuit sandwich and the cauliflower tots with beet ketchup are great any time of day. They also have a great Happy Hour daily from 1-4pm with $5 burgers and $1 Pearl beers.

 Maggie Svodoba Josephine House $ $ $ $ American  in  Clarksville $$$$ 1601 Waterston Ave

If your priorities are twinkly lights and striped straws and the general feeling that you’re in the middle of an Instagram photo, you’ll want to be at Josephine House. This is the place to sip a fancy gin cocktail in a cozy outdoor both while eating the kind of food that tastes as good as it looks in pictures.

 Jordan Haro Radio Coffee & Beer $ $ $ $ Tacos  in  South Austin $$$$ 4208 Manchaca Rd

Radio Coffee & Beer sells, as the name suggests, coffee and beer. The outside seating area is large and well spread out, but the best part might be the two food trucks parked alongside the patio. With Veracruz serving some of the best breakfast tacos in town, and Dee Dee dishing out excellent Thai food, you may find yourself in the tricky (and possibly sticky) situation of deciding between one more migas tacos or an order of mango sticky rice.

 Cosmic Coffee + Beer Garden $ $ $ $ Tacos ,  BBQ  in  South Congress $$$$ 121 Pickle Rd

It might be called Cosmic Coffee + Beer Garden, but there’s a lot more going on here than just what’s on the sign. Cosmic also has wine and cocktails (and even cocktail flights). And then there’s the extensive outdoor space, shaded by oak trees. It’s also home to some of the city’s best food trucks, including Pueblo Viejo for tacos, Leroy & Lewis, a super non-traditional barbecue truck that we really like, and an outpost of Tommy Want Wingy, serving lollipop-style chicken wings that can get very spicy (if you want).

 Draught House Pub & Brewery $ $ $ $ Bar Food  in  Rosedale $$$$ 4112 Medical Pkwy

This Rosedale brewpub is home to one of the best craft beer collections in Austin, a few of which they brew on-site. Their patio stretches around the building and takes up most of the parking lot, and there’s also a semi-permanent food truck, making it a great place to grab dinner as well. Get some fish and chips along with your favorite brew and ask your friends how many days they went without wearing pants during the lockdown.

Scholz Garten $ $ $ $ German  in  Campus $$$$ 1607 San Jacinto Blvd

Scholz Garten isn’t just the oldest bar in Austin, it’s the oldest operating business in Texas. Which also makes it the oldest operating patio in Texas (probably, don’t fact check us on that). And that just means that they’ve had more time to perfect things. With some of the best German food in town, a great beer list, and a central location right near UT, it’s a welcome escape from most of the campus-area bars.

 Licha's Cantina $ $ $ $ Mexican  in  Downtown Austin $$$$ 1306 E 6th St

This converted old house not only serves some of our favorite Mexican food in Austin - they also have one of the best outdoor areas in which to eat it. The front yard is covered by a giant string-light-covered tree, and lined with charming little tables for sharing bowls of queso fundido and fajitas. If it’s crowded, the mural-covered backyard patio is no slouch either.

 Jester King Brewery $ $ $ $ Hill Country $$$$ 13005 Fitzhugh Rd

Jester King is one of our favorite spots to grab excellent beer and food outdoors, with a sprawling property that feels more like a state park than a brewery. And they’ve come back from a brief dine-in hiatus stronger than ever, with brand new picnic grounds, hiking trails, and multiple stations to fill up on their ever-changing selection of wild-fermented farmhouse ales. Don’t be surprised if your walk is interrupted by a parade of goats. Right now, spots are available by reservation only.

 The ABGB $ $ $ $ Bar Food ,  Sandwiches  in  South Austin $$$$ 1305 W Oltorf St

The ABGB has a large outdoor space, live music, great pizza, and even better beer. You’ll need a reservation right now to snag one of their spaced-out picnic tables, but since it’s one of the best patios in South Austin, we’re OK with putting in a little extra effort. And make sure to grab a glass of the Hell Yes helles or the Rocket 100 pilsner while you’re there.

 Spider House Patio Bar & Cafe $ $ $ $ Bar Food  in  Campus $$$$ 2908 Fruth St

This enormous, funky patio is a flagbearer for Keep Austin Weird. Spider House is covered with a colorful hodgepodge of steampunky yard furniture that feels like it was created by Tom Waits in a secret side career as a metalworker. Even though it’s in the crosshairs of UT’s campus area, the crowd is always a good mix of people. They serve food, brew coffee, and have plenty of quality local beer on tap, as well as a full bar with affordable prices. Spider House’s patio is never not an enjoyable place to be.

Matt's el Rancho $ $ $ $ Mexican ,  Tex-Mex  in  South Lamar $$$$ 2613 S Lamar Blvd

If you’re going to Matt’s El Rancho, chances are you’re there for one of two things: margaritas or queso. Or, more likely, you’re there for both (and they do both exceptionally well). With a sprawling patio and nearly 70 years of practice, we’re comfortable crowning it a South Austin institution. And because this is Texas, you can even get a chicken fried steak, though we usually stick with the enchiladas or fajitas.

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INFATUATION NEWSLETTER Get our newest guides & reviews first,

plus more restaurant intel you won't find anywhere else. ATL ATX BOS CHI LDN LA MIA NYC PHL SF SEA DC Subscribe Smart move. Excellent information will arrive in your inbox soon. Do you have friends and family who also eat food? Enter their emails below and we’ll make sure they’re eating well. (Don’t worry, we won’t subscribe them to our newsletter - they can do that themselves.) Help Your Friends No Thanks Well done. You’re a good person. All good. We still like you. Want to quickly find restaurants on the go? Download The Infatuation app.    Easy Tiger $ $ $ $ Bar Food ,  Cafe/Bakery  in  Downtown Austin $$$$ 709 E 6th St

You’re probably familiar with Easy Tiger’s wizard-like baking skills, as their bread is served everywhere in town. But go beneath the bakery and you’ll find their beer garden with a patio beside Waller Creek. And while that creek itself basically just an even-more-disappointing version of the San Antonio Riverwalk, it does give the patio a feeling of being hidden away in a concrete jungle. Easy Tiger is a cool place to impress an out-of-towner, and definitely our favorite downtown patio. Come for drinks (they have a full bar in addition to beer and wine), and snack on pretzels and sausages when you get hungry (they serve food until 2am).

Justine's Brasserie $ $ $ $ French  in  Govalle $$$$ 4710 E 5th St

The French invented neighborhood bistros with prime sidewalk seating (we think), and Justine’s is the Austin version. Inside, this place feels like Paris in Austin; an intimate date night dinner spot. Step onto their patio and the vibe shifts into a see-and-be-seen backyard covered with string lights and picnic tables perfect for having some frites with your Bordeaux. Justine’s is located away from the hubbub of downtown, which makes the entire experience feel more exclusive and better suited for conversation with a group.

 Guero's Taco Bar $ $ $ $ Tex-Mex  in  South Congress $$$$ 1412 S Congress Ave

Over the years, Guero’s has become an Austin postcard-establishment - their solid Tex-Mex and strong margaritas have made it a favorite entry point for out-of-towners who have no idea what Austin is (and just as fun for people who live here). The spot does get crowded, which is when you’ll want to consider stepping outside onto their patio - the only spot in town where you can sip margaritas, eat queso, listen to live music, and people watch, all while sitting in an oak tree-shaded garden facing South Congress.

Hotel Vegas / Volstead Lounge $ $ $ $ East Austin $$$$ 1500 E 6th St

These two veteran bars/music venues have cemented themselves as East 6th fixtures. Part of the reason for their continued success is their enormous shared patio complete with cheap drinks and picnic tables. The interiors are small, hot, and inhospitable for conversation due to very loud music. But once you get outside - especially at night - you’ll have a hard time convincing yourself to go back to the music when there’s so much action (and so much more space available) on the patio.

 Fresa's South First $ $ $ $ Mexican  in  Bouldin $$$$ 1703 South First

The South First location of Fresas has a great patio with beautiful trees providing shade, and a spread of brightly-colored picnic tables that will help you forget the boring beige walls of your living room. All of their wood-grilled meats are great, but we’re partial to the achiote and citrus chicken, served with charro beans, rice, grilled onions and jalapenos, and corn tortillas. And we’ve found that the aguas frescas really hit the spot, especially on the warm afternoons when we need to change shirts every five minutes.

Gourdough's Public House $ $ $ $ American ,  Bar Food  in  South Lamar $$$$ 2700 S Lamar Blvd

This gourmet doughnut Airstream trailer turned brick-and-mortar is more than just a late-night donut shop. The well-designed ‘public house’ branch of the Gordough’s empire has a full bar and a fantastic backyard patio covered with picnic tables and yard games. This is the spot to hit if you’re with a giant crew that appreciates the finer things in life, like gigantic beer towers paired with donut burgers.

 Yellow Jacket Social Club $ $ $ $ American  in  East Austin $$$$ 1700 E 5th St.

Hidden under a bunch of trees in front of some train tracks on a side street, you’d probably never know Yellow Jacket Social Club was here. This divey spot isn’t just a great place for a low-key hang in the shade - they serve a surprisingly good brunch, with out-of-this-world shrimp and grits. Get the frozen mimosas if you’re looking to start the day off right.

Skylark Lounge $ $ $ $ Bar Food  in  MLK $$$$ 2039 Airport Blvd

Skylark’s recent patio addition is a wonderful place to get some fresh air after dancing to the best live soul music in Austin. It feels like a spacious backyard - nothing especially distinct, but a really comfortable place to hang.

 Contigo Austin $ $ $ $ American ,  Southern  in  East Austin $$$$ 2027 Anchor Ln

From day one, Contigo fully embraced the outdoor life, with an almost entirely open-air dining area. There is a small bit of cover, but you’re probably not coming here during one of Austin’s spontaneous rainstorms anyway. We’re big fans of the burger, and the crispy green beans with sambal aioli are a great way to start.

 Nicolai McCrary Lazarus Brewing Company $ $ $ $ Bar Food ,  Tacos  in  East Austin $$$$ 1902 E 6th St

Lazarus has a great patio on the East Side, with lots of picnic tables in and around the bar. The tacos and tortas are surprisingly good, and the fried chickpeas are a nice snack while you’re waiting around. And of course, it’s a brewery, so the beers are all pretty solid. They’re keeping the inside closed for the time being, but the patio is currently open seven days a week.

 Whisler's $ $ $ $ East Austin $$$$ 1816 E 6th St

This is a far better bar than it is a patio. But when a bar makes some of the best cocktails in town, then you don’t need fancy furniture or twinkly lights. Whisler’s is basically a glorified cement parking lot with tables and chairs within 10 yards of the bar (which is most important here).

 Kitty Cohen's $ $ $ $ East Austin $$$$ 2211 Webberville Rd

This patio’s claim to fame is their small pool for Brooklyn transplants who are just happy to be out of the highly variable Northeastern climate. Otherwise, Kitty Cohen is designed to feel like a Palm Springs house in the 1970s, complete with beachy cocktails and bright blue umbrellas. If you want to feel like you’ve left Austin for a few drinks, come to this spot.

Oasis Texas Brewing Company $$$$ 6550 Comanche Trl

The Oasis has one of the best views in the whole city, with some of the worst food. Thankfully, Oasis Brewing opened up right next door a few years ago, so now you can get the same great views of Lake Travis without having to stop somewhere else for lunch or dinner afterward. The sandwiches are solid, and the beers are great. But unless you live by the lake, you’re probably just here for the view.

 Salty Sow $ $ $ $ American ,  Bar Food  in  Cherrywood $$$$ 1917 Manor Rd

The patio at Salty Sow makes up more of the restaurant than the indoor dining room, and they’ve got a fantastic menu of upscale Southern staples that only gets better when the prices drop during Happy Hour. Try the chicken liver mousse and the honey-rosemary-dipped fried chicken, and pair it with the Blanche, their blood orange frozen margarita.

via The Infatuation Feed https://www.theinfatuation.com/austin/guides/best-austin-restaurants-patio Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://trello.com/userhuongsen

Created July 24, 2020 at 04:42AM /huong sen View Google Doc Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xa6sRugRZk4MDSyctcqusGYBv1lXYkrF

(Bloomberg Opinion) -- It’s natural this time of year to take a look back at the months past and forward to the days ahead, to think about what made the news and what might shape the future. In that spirit, we asked the columnists of Bloomberg Opinion about the books they read in 2019: What was their favorite? What’s a must-read before 2020 arrives? What would they buy as a gift from their local bookshop? Here's what they said. A Must-Read If You Hope to See 2120Bush fires in Australia caused unprecedented pollution. Europe suffered a record-setting heat wave. Cyclones displaced more than 2 million people in Bangladesh. Venice was flooded by the highest tides since the 1960s. California’s power outages became the new normal. All of which concluded the hottest decade in history, according to the United Nations.That’s why “The Uninhabitable Earth: Life After Warming” by David Wallace-Wells should be everyone’s must-read in 2020. Wallace-Wells provides overwhelming evidence that climate change is the existential threat to humanity. The planet is warming so much, so fast that it will increasingly reduce gross domestic product as much of the Earth becomes unlivable.Neither despair nor denials are appropriate at this point. “We have all the tools we need, today, to stop it all,” writes Wallace-Wells. — Matthew A. WinklerWallace-Wells’s book is a haunting preview of what’s in store for our children and grandchildren if we don’t very rapidly wean ourselves off hydrocarbons. Severe drought, intense heatwaves and coastal flooding will force tens of millions of people to move. And there will be “much more fire, much more often, burning much of the land,” he writes.Wallace-Wells is clear about who is chiefly to blame. More than half of fossil-fuel-related emissions have occurred in the past 30 years, meaning the planet “was brought to the brink of climate catastrophe within the lifetime of a single generation”But he’s hopeful, not fatalistic. The task of “unplugging the entire industrial world from fossil fuels” also falls to a single generation. That generation is us. — Chris BryantA Must-Read for Embattled PresidentsSince 2019 has been an impeachment year, for me, that means reading about Watergate. There are actually four essential books: Fred Emery’s “Watergate” is the best telling of the story, from President Richard Nixon’s first dabbling with breaking the law all the way through his resignation. The two primary sources absolutely worth reading are the Nixon tapes collected in “Abuse of Power” and the chief of staff’s notes published as “The Haldeman Diaries.” What I’ll recommend, however, is Elizabeth Drew’s wonderful account of what it was like to live through the unraveling of a presidency, reissued as “Washington Journal: Reporting Watergate and Richard Nixon's Downfall.” That’s the one I’m going to revisit before the Senate trial starts. And, if there’s time, the best Watergate movie, with apologies to the excellent “All the President’s Men,” is the 1999 comedy “Dick.” — Jonathan BernsteinA Must-Read for Fugitive Financiers“Billion Dollar Whale,” by Tom Wright and Bradley Hope, is a belter of a financial scandal takedown won’t take you long to read. It’s great fun — more Jackie Collins than forensic Michael Lewis analysis. It can be your guilty secret as you plow through the ever-more unbelievable scams of Jho Low, an ultra-aspiring Malaysian financier who sucks in the great and the (not so) good while ripping off his own country’s sovereign wealth fund 1MDB, with some big assists from Wall Street. A breathless collation of excellent investigative reporting, it shows real life really can be stranger than fiction. With the drama still unfolding in court, you can take a ringside seat as the authorities try to track down our antihero and get Goldman Sachs on the hook. Just try not to snigger at all the Hollywood flakes. — Marcus AshworthA Must-Read on the Protest BarricadesThe words “Gilets Jaunes” never appear in “La France Qui Gronde” (The France That Grumbles, or Scolds), but the pages of this French volume are filled by the kind of ordinary people who made up the Yellow Vests movement that swept France a year ago.Ahead of France’s presidential elections in 2017, journalists Jean-Marie Godard and Antoine Dreyfus visited a countryside grappling with suicides by farmers who couldn’t keep going, workers in one-industry backwaters whose jobs went to China, and parents and teachers who had given up on bureaucrats and were fixing their crumbling public school. Their frustration caught Prime Minister Emmanuel Macron unaware when his government tried to raise fuel taxes, sending mobs wearing roadside safety vests to occupy French traffic circles. Since then, protests against overbearing, corrupt or indifferent governments have lit up Algeria, Chile, Hong Kong, Iraq, Lebanon and more (the details differ, of course). This book helps understand the discontent in a country that knows something about inspiring revolutions. — Patrick McDowellA Must-Read for Ruling the BoardroomMy pick: All five “A Song of Ice and Fire” novels by George R.R. Martin as well as the Dunk and Egg novellas and the Fire and Blood prequel. (Technically, they’re one body of work!)Martin once asked in a Rolling Stone interview, “What was Aragorn’s tax policy?” It wasn’t entirely rhetorical: His point was that “Lord of the Rings” author J.R.R. Tolkien had “a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper.”It’s not that simple, of course. Good leaders need more than good intentions. Charismatic heroes aren’t always (or even often) great administrators. Regardless of whether you watched the “Game of Thrones” HBO finale in 2019, if you’re a management geek like me you’ll enjoy reading about Martin’s power-hungry queens and honor-bound knights not only making decisions about love and duty, or dragons and White Walkers, but also about trade embargoes, luxury taxes and the Iron Bank’s singularly aggressive approach to recouping bad loans. The books are also enormously fun, which can’t be said of every leadership tome. And who knows? We may finally get the long-awaited sixth book in 2020. — Sarah Green CarmichaelA Must-Read for the Extremely Ambitious“Our Man,” a biography of the late American diplomat Richard Holbrooke by George Packer, is a true page-turner, even at more than 600 pages. It is divided into three principal sections, each reflecting a chapter of Holbrooke’s eventful life and America’s geopolitical journey from the 1970s to the early 21st century.I knew Holbrooke well in his days as a presidential envoy to Afghanistan and Pakistan. I was serving as supreme allied commander at NATO, in charge of the overall mission of some 150,000 troops, when he came often to Afghanistan. I found Holbrooke highly energetic, full of ideas (both good and bad), extremely self-confident (his abiding characteristic) and utterly ambitious. Until I read “Our Man” and was able to put his vast talent and vaster ego in perspective, I didn’t appreciate how the arc of his career tracked the peak to the essential end of what some have called the American Century. — James StavridisA Must-Read for Those Tired of TruthinessSeymour M. Hersh’s memoir, “Reporter,” takes us back to the golden era of American newspapers, following Hersh’s rise from lowly copyboy to world-renowned investigative journalist. Hersh exposed hypocrisy and deceit throughout the U.S. government — from the My Lai Massacre in Vietnam to Watergate to the Iraq wars — proving that an unrelenting drive for truth can overcome even the deepest duplicity. And as remarkable as Hersh himself is, the book reveals the everyday heroism of his sources, many of them military officers or civil servants who shared information at great risk to their livelihoods and careers. They, as Hersh teaches us, knew that their true responsibility was “to uphold and defend the Constitution [...] not the President, or an immediate superior.” — Scott Duke KominersA Must-Read for Women Making History, Part 1It’s 1962, and a young Washington Post reporter is sent to cover the fight for integration at the University of Mississippi. But there’s a problem: She’s black, and no white hoteliers in Oxford will put her up for the night. No matter. She finds a black-owned funeral home — funeral directors make great sources, she notes — and beds down in the mortuary. The result: a page one story spotlighting black Mississippians’ response to James Meredith’s heroism.Dorothy Butler Gilliam’s memoir “Trailblazer: A Pioneering Journalist’s Fight to Make the Media Look More Like America” is a story filled with insults and triumphs like these. And it couldn’t have come at a better time. As the U.S. heads into an election year with racial justice and women’s rights high on the agenda, our newsrooms remain disproportionately white and male (with predictable consequences for coverage). The media still doesn’t look like America. But history shows that change is possible, with trailblazers like Gilliam leading the way. — Tracy WalshA Must-Read for Women Making History, Part 2Those of us who cover the Middle East — in my case, for two decades, first as a correspondent, now as a commentator — have long known that the finest journalism from the region is the handiwork of the women who work there. That this is not more widely recognized is a travesty that “Our Women on the Ground,” edited by Zahra Hankir begins, at last, to remedy.It has been many years since I have, at the end of a book, felt compelled immediately to start again from the beginning. On second reading of this superb compendium of reporting by Arab woman, a spasm of envy led me to speculate that the gender of the writers was germane to their excellence: surely my own work could have approached these heights had I, a man, not been denied access to half the population of the region?Spare yourself such unworthy thoughts and instead partake in the intelligence and depth of insight that radiate from these brilliant journalists. — Bobby GhoshA Must-Read for Orwellian TimesThe defining book of 2019 focuses on 1984, or more properly, on “Nineteen Eighty-Four,” by George Orwell. Dorian Lynskey’s “The Ministry of Truth,” a biography of the novel, has the zest and momentum of a Stephen King novel, and the piercing clarity and dark sensibility of Orwell himself. It demonstrates that Orwell’s novel, published shortly before his death, is a synthesis of ideas that he had been developing for decades — about human nature, authoritarianism, rage, power, eroticism, memory and, above all, truth.In the U.S. (and not only there), 2019 was a year in which palpable falsehoods have been stated so boldly, and by such prominent leaders, that it has been difficult to maintain one’s bearings. When tens of millions of people believe things that tens of millions of other people believe to be flatly false, truth has a tough time getting traction. Lynskey ends his book with Orwell’s explanation of why he wrote his novel: “The moral to be drawn from this dangerous nightmare situation is a simple one. Don’t let it happen. It depends on you.” — Cass SunsteinA Must-Read Along With a History TomeHistorians never tire of insisting that policy makers need to learn more history. Yet they are not, typically, very good at explaining how an understanding of history can make for better choices. That was the great contribution of Michael Howard, the recently deceased British military historian, whose two classic volumes of essays, “The Causes of Wars and Other Essays” and “The Lessons of History,” are my must-read books as 2019 comes to an end.Howard’s key insight is that history provides no specific answers to particular policy problems. What worked before, in one set of circumstances, may backfire catastrophically when transferred across time and space to a very different context. The value of history is broader. It can expand our knowledge beyond our personal experiences, educate us in the complexity of human affairs and the importance of understanding other cultures, and help us recognize the connections between choices and consequences, between causes and effects.“The true use of history,” Howard wrote, is “not to make men clever for next time; it is to make them wise for ever.” At a time when the U.S. faces no shortage of disorienting global challenges, that’s a lesson worth remembering. — Hal BrandsTo contact the editor responsible for this story: Stacey Shick at [email protected] column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the editorial board or Bloomberg LP and its owners.For more articles like this, please visit us at bloomberg.com/opinion©2019 Bloomberg L.P.

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Book Recommendations to Turn the Page From 2019 to 2020

(Bloomberg Opinion) –It’s natural this time of year to take a look back at the months past and forward to the days ahead, to think about what made the news and what might shape the future. In that spirit, we asked the columnists of Bloomberg Opinion about the books they read in 2019: What was their favorite? What’s a must-read before 2020 arrives? What would they buy as a gift from their local bookshop? Here’s what they said.

A Must-Read If You Hope to See 2120

Bush fires in Australia caused unprecedented pollution. Europe suffered a record-setting heat wave. Cyclones displaced more than 2 million people in Bangladesh. Venice was flooded by the highest tides since the 1960s. California’s power outages became the new normal. All of which concluded the hottest decade in history, according to the United Nations.

That’s why “The Uninhabitable Earth: Life After Warming” by David Wallace-Wells should be everyone’s must-read in 2020. Wallace-Wells provides overwhelming evidence that climate change is the existential threat to humanity. The planet is warming so much, so fast that it will increasingly reduce gross domestic product as much of the Earth becomes unlivable.

Neither despair nor denials are appropriate at this point. “We have all the tools we need, today, to stop it all,” writes Wallace-Wells. — Matthew A. Winkler

Wallace-Wells’s book is a haunting preview of what’s in store for our children and grandchildren if we don’t very rapidly wean ourselves off hydrocarbons. Severe drought, intense heatwaves and coastal flooding will force tens of millions of people to move. And there will be “much more fire, much more often, burning much of the land,” he writes.

Wallace-Wells is clear about who is chiefly to blame. More than half of fossil-fuel-related emissions have occurred in the past 30 years, meaning the planet “was brought to the brink of climate catastrophe within the lifetime of a single generation”

But he’s hopeful, not fatalistic. The task of “unplugging the entire industrial world from fossil fuels” also falls to a single generation. That generation is us. — Chris Bryant

A Must-Read for Embattled Presidents

Since 2019 has been an impeachment year, for me, that means reading about Watergate. There are actually four essential books: Fred Emery’s “Watergate” is the best telling of the story, from President Richard Nixon’s first dabbling with breaking the law all the way through his resignation. The two primary sources absolutely worth reading are the Nixon tapes collected in “Abuse of Power” and the chief of staff’s notes published as “The Haldeman Diaries.” What I’ll recommend, however, is Elizabeth Drew’s wonderful account of what it was like to live through the unraveling of a presidency, reissued as “Washington Journal: Reporting Watergate and Richard Nixon’s Downfall.” That’s the one I’m going to revisit before the Senate trial starts. And, if there’s time, the best Watergate movie, with apologies to the excellent “All the President’s Men,” is the 1999 comedy “Dick.” — Jonathan Bernstein

A Must-Read for Fugitive Financiers

“Billion Dollar Whale,” by Tom Wright and Bradley Hope, is a belter of a financial scandal takedown won’t take you long to read. It’s great fun — more Jackie Collins than forensic Michael Lewis analysis. It can be your guilty secret as you plow through the ever-more unbelievable scams of Jho Low, an ultra-aspiring Malaysian financier who sucks in the great and the (not so) good while ripping off his own country’s sovereign wealth fund 1MDB, with some big assists from Wall Street. A breathless collation of excellent investigative reporting, it shows real life really can be stranger than fiction. With the drama still unfolding in court, you can take a ringside seat as the authorities try to track down our antihero and get Goldman Sachs on the hook. Just try not to snigger at all the Hollywood flakes. — Marcus Ashworth

A Must-Read on the Protest Barricades

The words “Gilets Jaunes” never appear in “La France Qui Gronde” (The France That Grumbles, or Scolds), but the pages of this French volume are filled by the kind of ordinary people who made up the Yellow Vests movement that swept France a year ago.

Ahead of France’s presidential elections in 2017, journalists Jean-Marie Godard and Antoine Dreyfus visited a countryside grappling with suicides by farmers who couldn’t keep going, workers in one-industry backwaters whose jobs went to China, and parents and teachers who had given up on bureaucrats and were fixing their crumbling public school. Their frustration caught Prime Minister Emmanuel Macron unaware when his government tried to raise fuel taxes, sending mobs wearing roadside safety vests to occupy French traffic circles. Since then, protests against overbearing, corrupt or indifferent governments have lit up Algeria, Chile, Hong Kong, Iraq, Lebanon and more (the details differ, of course). This book helps understand the discontent in a country that knows something about inspiring revolutions. — Patrick McDowell

A Must-Read for Ruling the Boardroom

My pick: All five “A Song of Ice and Fire” novels by George R.R. Martin as well as the Dunk and Egg novellas and the Fire and Blood prequel. (Technically, they’re one body of work!)

Martin once asked in a Rolling Stone interview, “What was Aragorn’s tax policy?” It wasn’t entirely rhetorical: His point was that “Lord of the Rings” author J.R.R. Tolkien had “a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper.”

It’s not that simple, of course. Good leaders need more than good intentions. Charismatic heroes aren’t always (or even often) great administrators. Regardless of whether you watched the “Game of Thrones” HBO finale in 2019, if you’re a management geek like me you’ll enjoy reading about Martin’s power-hungry queens and honor-bound knights not only making decisions about love and duty, or dragons and White Walkers, but also about trade embargoes, luxury taxes and the Iron Bank’s singularly aggressive approach to recouping bad loans. The books are also enormously fun, which can’t be said of every leadership tome. And who knows? We may finally get the long-awaited sixth book in 2020. — Sarah Green Carmichael

A Must-Read for the Extremely Ambitious

“Our Man,” a biography of the late American diplomat Richard Holbrooke by George Packer, is a true page-turner, even at more than 600 pages. It is divided into three principal sections, each reflecting a chapter of Holbrooke’s eventful life and America’s geopolitical journey from the 1970s to the early 21st century.

I knew Holbrooke well in his days as a presidential envoy to Afghanistan and Pakistan. I was serving as supreme allied commander at NATO, in charge of the overall mission of some 150,000 troops, when he came often to Afghanistan. I found Holbrooke highly energetic, full of ideas (both good and bad), extremely self-confident (his abiding characteristic) and utterly ambitious. Until I read “Our Man” and was able to put his vast talent and vaster ego in perspective, I didn’t appreciate how the arc of his career tracked the peak to the essential end of what some have called the American Century. — James Stavridis

A Must-Read for Those Tired of Truthiness

Seymour M. Hersh’s memoir, “Reporter,” takes us back to the golden era of American newspapers, following Hersh’s rise from lowly copyboy to world-renowned investigative journalist. Hersh exposed hypocrisy and deceit throughout the U.S. government — from the My Lai Massacre in Vietnam to Watergate to the Iraq wars — proving that an unrelenting drive for truth can overcome even the deepest duplicity. And as remarkable as Hersh himself is, the book reveals the everyday heroism of his sources, many of them military officers or civil servants who shared information at great risk to their livelihoods and careers. They, as Hersh teaches us, knew that their true responsibility was “to uphold and defend the Constitution […] not the President, or an immediate superior.” — Scott Duke Kominers

A Must-Read for Women Making History, Part 1

It’s 1962, and a young Washington Post reporter is sent to cover the fight for integration at the University of Mississippi. But there’s a problem: She’s black, and no white hoteliers in Oxford will put her up for the night. No matter. She finds a black-owned funeral home — funeral directors make great sources, she notes — and beds down in the mortuary. The result: a page one story spotlighting black Mississippians’ response to James Meredith’s heroism.

Dorothy Butler Gilliam’s memoir “Trailblazer: A Pioneering Journalist’s Fight to Make the Media Look More Like America” is a story filled with insults and triumphs like these. And it couldn’t have come at a better time. As the U.S. heads into an election year with racial justice and women’s rights high on the agenda, our newsrooms remain disproportionately white and male (with predictable consequences for coverage). The media still doesn’t look like America. But history shows that change is possible, with trailblazers like Gilliam leading the way. — Tracy Walsh

A Must-Read for Women Making History, Part 2

Those of us who cover the Middle East — in my case, for two decades, first as a correspondent, now as a commentator — have long known that the finest journalism from the region is the handiwork of the women who work there. That this is not more widely recognized is a travesty that “Our Women on the Ground,” edited by Zahra Hankir begins, at last, to remedy.

It has been many years since I have, at the end of a book, felt compelled immediately to start again from the beginning. On second reading of this superb compendium of reporting by Arab woman, a spasm of envy led me to speculate that the gender of the writers was germane to their excellence: surely my own work could have approached these heights had I, a man, not been denied access to half the population of the region?

Spare yourself such unworthy thoughts and instead partake in the intelligence and depth of insight that radiate from these brilliant journalists. — Bobby Ghosh

A Must-Read for Orwellian Times

The defining book of 2019 focuses on 1984, or more properly, on “Nineteen Eighty-Four,” by George Orwell. Dorian Lynskey’s “The Ministry of Truth,” a biography of the novel, has the zest and momentum of a Stephen King novel, and the piercing clarity and dark sensibility of Orwell himself. It demonstrates that Orwell’s novel, published shortly before his death, is a synthesis of ideas that he had been developing for decades — about human nature, authoritarianism, rage, power, eroticism, memory and, above all, truth.

In the U.S. (and not only there), 2019 was a year in which palpable falsehoods have been stated so boldly, and by such prominent leaders, that it has been difficult to maintain one’s bearings. When tens of millions of people believe things that tens of millions of other people believe to be flatly false, truth has a tough time getting traction. Lynskey ends his book with Orwell’s explanation of why he wrote his novel: “The moral to be drawn from this dangerous nightmare situation is a simple one. Don’t let it happen. It depends on you.” — Cass Sunstein

A Must-Read Along With a History Tome

Historians never tire of insisting that policy makers need to learn more history. Yet they are not, typically, very good at explaining how an understanding of history can make for better choices. That was the great contribution of Michael Howard, the recently deceased British military historian, whose two classic volumes of essays, “The Causes of Wars and Other Essays” and “The Lessons of History,” are my must-read books as 2019 comes to an end.

Howard’s key insight is that history provides no specific answers to particular policy problems. What worked before, in one set of circumstances, may backfire catastrophically when transferred across time and space to a very different context. The value of history is broader. It can expand our knowledge beyond our personal experiences, educate us in the complexity of human affairs and the importance of understanding other cultures, and help us recognize the connections between choices and consequences, between causes and effects.

“The true use of history,” Howard wrote, is “not to make men clever for next time; it is to make them wise for ever.” At a time when the U.S. faces no shortage of disorienting global challenges, that’s a lesson worth remembering. — Hal Brands

The post Book Recommendations to Turn the Page From 2019 to 2020 appeared first on Businessliveme.com.

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What’s Accuracy Got to Do With Social Media?

You may be familiar with the oft-quoted line attributed to Mark Twain, “A lie will fly around the whole world while the truth is getting its boots on.” It’s cropped up quite a bit over the last couple of years in discussions about fake news and alternative facts. Twain’s words seem a particularly apt description of social media’s role in spreading misinformation faster than ever, while amplifying the confusion of who or what to trust.

Putting aside any political connotations, let’s instead consider whether marketers are guilty of inadvertently spreading inaccurate, outdated, or just plain wrong information. Sure, getting a fact wrong or misinterpreting a stat isn’t necessarily the same as telling a bald-faced lie. But neither is it trivial when our content is supposedly intended to create the impression of authority and expertise. In short, fact-checking matters just as much in a 280-character tweet as it does in a 10-page white paper. But, boy, has the bar for accuracy slipped worryingly low in this fast-paced, attention-seeking online world.

Fact-checking matters just as much in a 280-character tweet as it does in a 10-page white paper, says @kimota. Click To Tweet

HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT: Fact-Checking for Content Marketers: How to Protect Credibility in the Era of Fake News [Checklist]

Taken on trust

Almost all the information we consume, particularly online, is crowdsourced in one way or another. Wikis are the obvious example of the community collating, curating and certifying the vastness of human knowledge. Yet most of the information we encounter is filtered and reinterpreted through a series of books, blogs, infographics, explainer videos, articles, and, of course, social media updates.

Unfortunately, this means a lot of the information we encounter as consumers of content may be the result of garbled repetition. Error builds upon error until what may once have been accurate morphs into something inaccurate. As we are also content producers, we then risk compounding the mistake.

“A little research is precisely what many people don’t want when it comes to their digital diet … because many of the information environments we inhabit are magnificently hospitable to meme-sharing, attention-grabbing and OMG-have-you-seen-this moments – and relatively uninterested in hang-on-a-second-let’s-pause-and-think-twice,” as Tom Chatfield writes in New Philosopher.

A little research is precisely what many people don’t want when it comes to their digital diet. @TomChatfield Click To Tweet

Most social media users can’t afford to check the validity and accuracy of every factoid that crosses their feeds. How could they? Therefore, there’s a huge element of trust inherent in that relationship between publisher and audience.

But that means we as the producers of this content must continually prove we are deserving of that trust. If we’re serving up these bite-sized snackettes of information into social media, it’s our responsibility to ensure that they won’t rot the very trust and authority we hope to instill.

When serving up bite-sized #content, we need to ensure it won’t rot trust in us. @kimota #factcheck Click To Tweet

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Misinfographics?

A client once supplied me with a crucial statistic for an infographic I was creating and cited a government e-book on business as the source. I was surprised to discover that the footnote for the stat in the government e-book claimed it came from a blog post published the previous year on the client’s website. That post claimed the stat came from an earlier edition of the government e-book, which in turn referenced an earlier article on the client’s website. The two had been unwittingly handballing the same stat back and forth for years, each attributing it to the other and each giving the information a veneer of freshness by failing to include any other contextual information or mention how outdated the information actually was. To this day I’m still not clear who conducted the initial research.

I certainly didn’t continue the chain of inaccuracy by using this stale stat in the new infographic.

Don’t continue chain of inaccuracy by including stale stats in new infographics, says @kimota. #factchecking Click To Tweet

In my mind, an infographic without checkable references is just an untrustworthy set of icons and numbers. I’m not saying every infographic should undermine its visual appeal and brevity with a long list of fine print at the bottom. But you should still make it easy for readers to check each and every stat and fact. Too many sources? List them on a webpage and post a short URL at the bottom of the infographic.

Sources by themselves aren’t necessarily a guarantee of accuracy. The way in which the fact or stat is summarized and represented can also mislead. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve scrolled to the bottom of an infographic and followed the references to discover the original research is years out of date or taken out of context. And that’s if the sources are even included.

Sources by themselves aren’t necessarily a guarantee of accuracy, says @kimota. #factchecking Click To Tweet

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A+ for effort: D- for diligence

Having worked as a writer, journalist, and editor for many years, I’ve learned the hard way to be extremely skeptical when researching. If I can’t verify a fact or claim, it makes me nervous.

OK, I admit I’m quite the pedant. You never forget the first time a university lecturer marks you down for failing to provide adequate references (correctly formatted) to back up the claims in an assignment into which you poured so much effort.

But this is about far more than just “showing your work.” It’s about applying appropriate rigor in research. When you have to document your own references so precisely, you soon learn to distrust any source that doesn’t do the same.

So much content is published, shared, and remixed every day that checking the veracity of an individual claim can mean following a trail of bread crumbs from infographic to blog post to article and so on – stripping away each filter or reinterpretation to get back to the source. Therefore, it is extremely frustrating when – after spending an hour trying to confirm the accuracy of a statistic I desperately want to use – my journey ends at a blog post from someone I have no reason to trust and who didn’t bother to mention where the information was first sourced.

This is why the original source is all that matters – not only when fact-checking for your own sake but also for your audience who deserves the same courtesy when verifying your claims. Otherwise, you’re relying on a source less diligent than you – and then why should your audience trust anything you say? I don’t care if TechCrunch says 84% of Twitter users have developed an addiction to blancmange. If I want to use the stat in a future column (“The disturbing connection between social media and pink desserts”), I need to check and cite the original research. After all, it’s not unknown for a stat to be *gasp* made up!

Who said that?

Social media loves quotations. These days, it seems all you have to do to achieve viral gold is slap an inspirational quote onto a sunset image and spam it to every network. But while the right quote correctly attributed can lend authority and gravitas to your content, an inaccurate or misattributed quote can just as easily undermine it. (Just saying, but Albert Einstein and Winston Churchill most likely didn’t say half of the pithy bons mots commonly attributed to them.)

The level of inaccuracy can sometimes be spectacular, but most dodgy quotations aren’t necessarily deliberate. Most probably arise from poor editing, a lack of context, or unreliable sources (Wikiquote, I’m looking at you!).

A great example of how social media can mangle a quote is discussed in a 2011 article from The Atlantic, which investigates how a Facebook user’s words ended up being attributed to Martin Luther King Jr.  – “mangled to meme in less than two days.”

Image source

What surprised me most about The Atlantic article was the number of people who defended the quote as legitimate even after learning of the mistake. To them, the message is the thing. People most commonly share quotations that represent and support their view of the world. Because they identify with the sentiment, it feels “right.” And because it feels right, they are less likely to question its accuracy or authenticity.

However, if the person didn’t say or write it, it isn’t a quote. Period.

Fact-checking tips

Yes, fact-checking can be both boring and frustrating, but that doesn’t mean it can be skipped or taken less seriously. Fact-checking was once the responsibility of that highly endangered species, the copy editor (something for which they were never fully appreciated). However, very few of us have the luxury of a dedicated fact-checker on the team these days, so the unshirking responsibility falls to us.

Just how does a busy content producer, infographic designer, or social media manager navigate this maze of online information to separate fact from fiction?

Always search for the most recent statistics. No one cares about a social media stat from 2010 when so much has changed in the intervening years. Use your search engine tools to restrict searches to a particular time frame, such as the last year.

Always search for the most recent statistics, advises @kimota. #factchecking Read more >> Click To Tweet

Trust no one. Even if the stat is published by a leading brand you think would be above reproach, check its sources. Wikipedia is NOT a source. But it does contain a lot of references and citations, so follow those links.

Wikipedia is NOT a source. But it does contain references and citations, so follow those links. @kimota Click To Tweet

And get a reputable quotations dictionary.

Speaking of which, let’s return to that Mark Twain quote I mentioned at the beginning. Even if you skip past the difficult fact that the quote was first attributed to him in 1919, nine years after his death, there is absolutely no evidence he ever wrote or said it.

According to the indispensable site Quote Investigator (there’s another tip for you), numerous versions of the quote pop up throughout the previous two centuries, morphing with each paraphrase to become the (disputed) Twain version we’re familiar with today. The earliest recorded version was penned by the satirist Jonathan Swift in 1710: “Falsehood flies; and the Truth comes limping after it; so that when Men come to be undeceiv’d, it is too late; the Jest is over, and the Tale has had its Effect.”

The jest is over. Check your sources.

HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT: Proofing and Editing: How to Make Your Content Less Frightening

A version of this article originally appeared in the May issue of  Chief Content Officer. Sign up to receive your free subscription to our print magazine every quarter.

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