#they do that on the adult one too but I feel like the kids do it even more
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three — have to be
mess it up — gojo x reader & sukuna x reader
⁀➴ when i told you i’m fine, you were lied to.
when the love of your life falls for someone else, you decide to move on—by pretending to date your best friend, the campus fuckboy.
previous — masterlist — next
word count. 2.5k
content. profanity, college kids being stupid, some angsty feels
Contrary to popular belief, college isn’t that different from high school. No one magically matures overnight and goes from being a snot-nosed brat to a sophisticated adult. Try as you might, it just isn’t the way things go.
College is essentially just high school on steroids. The cliques are more exclusive, padded with unwritten rules and covert acts of initiation. Bullies are more subtle, if not more vicious. And the gossip? Well, the gossip is just as venomous, and news spreads just as fast.
Today’s item of interest is one for the books: The big breakup between the campus crush and the golden boy who bagged her. How they ended things rather abruptly. And how they’re both already dating different people only three weeks later.
“Apparently, you cheated on him,” Nobara tells you, pulling out the lollipop she has in her mouth. “Or you cheated on him. It depends on who you ask.”
“I heard that you were sleeping with a professor,” Maki says.
You frown at her, adjusting your bag on your shoulders. “Yaga?”
“No.” She grins. “Gakuganji.”
You gag at the thought. Which sicko came up with that? Probably Kento, you think. The prick.
The three of you are on your way to a meeting for a pre-law society you joined back in your first year. You’re not quite sure you want to be a lawyer and Maki’s made it clear that she’s just in it for the parties, but as Nobara says, it’s for the connections.
A lot of college has felt like a complete scam to you, if you’re being honest. The classes are fine enough and you occasionally meet interesting people, but for the most part, you’re well-aware that everyone here’s either just coasting or trying to one-up one another. You can’t complain though. In the end, you’re a part of it all.
“I heard something interesting though,” Nobara says, and there’s a dangerous tone in her voice that has you crawling out of your skin. “More than a few people are saying that you’re dating someone new.”
Maki nods, looking at you with a raised brow. “I heard that too.”
“Someone from the business department apparently,” Nobara adds. “Someone you’re incredibly close with.”
You swallow as your two friends turn to you for an answer to their accusations. You and Sukuna made your sham relationship “official” just a few days ago and you haven’t had the time to tell either of them about it. If you’re being honest, you’ve been avoiding the topic for as long as humanly possible because you already know what they’re going to say about the whole thing.
It’s one thing for you to be friends with him despite their clear dislike of him, it’s an entirely different thing to be dating him. To the public’s knowledge at least.
“I was going to tell you guys about that,” you say quietly.
Nobara gapes, dropping her lollipop on the ground. “You’re fucking with us.”
“Before you say anything—”
“Holy shit!” Maki exclaims. She stops in her tracks and grabs your shoulders, shaking you as if to shock some sense into your system. “No. You’re not doing this.”
“I know Satoru fucked you up, but this is not the way to deal,” Nobara tells you. Her arms are flailing around as she tries to get her point across. She probably thinks you’re in too deep, madly in love with the asshole she’s done nothing but warn you about. “Where’s your phone? You’re breaking up with him right now.”
You can’t help but laugh at your friends’ hysterics. Much to their horror.
Maki’s grip on your tightens. “This is serious, babe. It’s not happening.”
“Will you just let me speak?” you say, the laughter shaking your voice. “I’m not dating Sukuna.”
They both let out a sigh of relief.
“But I am pretending to.”
“What kind of fucked up game are you playing?” Maki demands. She’s let go of you now at least. That’s something. “Explain, bitch.”
You roll your eyes and continue walking straight ahead, forcing the two of them to hurry along after you. “It’s just a thing we’re doing,” you say. “It’s basically a joke.”
Nobara groans. “Well, it’s not funny,” she says. “Why are you doing this?”
“I dunno,” you tell her. “I’m petty, I guess.”
They’re clearly displeased with your non-answer. You realize that it was more than ridiculous trying to hide it from them in the first place. There’s really nothing to hide.
“We went to a party over the weekend,” you say. “And Satoru was there… with Kimi.”
Maki purses her lips, but you can tell that she understands. She understands you more than she wants to. She was there with you before the breakup, she saw how much the whole thing had been weighing on you, and she was there immediately after it happened. She saw just how badly the whole thing wrecked you. She knows that you’re being stupid, but she also knows you.
It’s Nobara who scowls and shakes her head. It’ll take more than that to convince her.
“So?” she says. “Then date one of the many guys who throw themselves at your feet. Or get a girl! You’re due for a girl. Pick literally anyone else but him.”
You chuckle at her insistence, draping your arm over her shoulder and squeezing her against you. “I don’t want anything real right now,” you tell her. “All those people want a real relationship that I’m just not ready for, and they don’t deserve to be led on. Besides, Sukuna’s the only one I trust to do something this stupid with.”
“See, that’s how I know you’re fucked in the head,” she says. “You cannot trust a guy like Sukuna. He’s an ass.”
“He’s also my best friend.”
Nobara hangs her head at that. “You know, I wish I’d met you sooner,” she tells you. “Then, I would’ve gotten you away from that asshole before he got his fangs in.”
“I know him,” you say, leaning your head against her. “You gotta trust me on this.”
She wraps her arm around your waist and holds you tight for a moment, then sighs. “If he tries anything stupid though, I will kill him.”
“I’ll help,” Maki says. She goes in front of you, walking backwards so she can keep her eyes on yours. “You’re sure about this?”
You nod, reaching your hand out to grab hers. “I’m sure,” you say. “And it’s only for a month. I’ll probably be ready to move onto something real by then.”
The meeting has been going on for hours. They’re not usually this bad when all you have to talk about is a fundraiser or a seminar or a statement against the school administration or something menial like that. But the agenda today is loaded.
The trip.
The big trip that everyone in the society always gets worked up over. It’s the big event of the year, a weekend where the whole group goes somewhere new and gets completely wasted.
It isn’t enough that you do charity work or contribute to the campus life like any other club would. It isn’t enough that you all see each other on a weekly basis to party at someone’s house or head to a bar together. To truly make the “connections” that Nobara speaks of, you have to relocate everyone to a beach or camp in the mountains or get locked together in a cabin in the woods.
It’s for bonding, they say. But with how everyone’s arguing right now, you’re almost worried that the whole group is just going to end up hating each other. Just another part of the college experience as they say.
“We are not going to an active volcano for our trip,” Utahime says. “It’s stupid and, honestly, not fun at all.”
Mahito huffs at that. “What’s more fun than knowing that we could die at any moment?” he asks like it’s a completely normal thing to say. “You guys just want to go to the beach again and that’s boring.”
“Where would we even sleep?” Aoi points out.
Utahime nods and looks at Mahito with venom in her eyes. “Exactly.”
“As if anyone sleeps on these trips anyway.”
You raise your hand. “I vote against the volcano.”
“So where would you have us go?” Mahito asks. “Kento’s house?”
The man in question scoffs. “As if I would ever let you in my house.”
“I think the beach is fine,” Nobara says. “We always have fun there anyway.”
“We went there last year though,” you say against your better judgment. When Nobara looks at you like, How are you not siding with me on this? You mouth a quick “sorry.” Then, “Camping’s fun.”
“Bugs,” Mahito.
“Oh, and you think there isn’t anything gross on a volcano?” Utahime.
“What about Aoi’s cabin?” Kento.
“My dad just sold it.” Aoi.
“I vote beach.” Maki.
“Thank you!” Nobara.
The conversation goes round and round. Everyone has an opinion, everyone has something to say, everyone has something they don’t like or don’t want to do. It seems like the whole thing will never end.
“Ski trip,” you say suddenly. The room goes silent. “We’ve never been before, and it’s doable. The budget’s pretty good this year. I think we could swing it.”
Everyone looks at Kento, the keeper of the books, as he turns to his laptop to crunch the numbers. After a moment of typing, he looks up and nods.
“It’ll have to be after the children’s rights fundraiser though,” he says. “We have to make sure we can make the downpayment on the hall for the kids, but after that…”
Everyone looks at Utahime now, the club president who has the final word on everything. “Fine,” she says eventually. “Ski trip it is.”
There’s a round of “finally”s and “fuck yeah”s and patting each other on the back for a job well-done.
“Now, about the children’s rights fundraiser,” Utahime says. “We should really start planning that.”
Everyone groans and there’s eventually a call for a five-minute break.
“We should really kick Mahito out at this point,” Nobara whispers to you as she rests her head on the table. “He doesn’t even do his job half of the time.”
You pat her head and laugh. “He’s harmless,” you tell her, getting up from your seat. “I’m gonna go pee.”
“I’ll come,” Maki says, following you out the door.
The two of you link your hands together and swing them wildly as you make your way to the restroom, a habit you two formed in freshman year when you refused to be suffocated by the crowds of people going from classroom to classroom. Despite seeming like two completely different kinds of people on the surface, the two of you are just menaces at heart. It’s why you’re such good friends.
As you approach the restroom, you can hear a group of girls talking loudly inside.
“Locker room talk,” Maki says, wiggling her eyebrows at you with a smirk on her lips.
You snort, the voices becoming clearer now.
“You’re so lucky.”
“Is he good in bed?”
“He’s lucky to have you.”
“You guys are so embarrassing.”
You stop in your tracks. The last voice is so familiar, terrifyingly so. It’s a voice you’ve heard from a few feet away. In front of you in a line. In the back of a classroom. On the court, counting out the timing for the next steps of the cheerdance.
“He’s really sweet though,” the voice says. “Just this morning, he showed up at my dorm with a bunch of flowers. He said he got them ‘just because.’”
Maki is watching you with concern, confused by why you’ve suddenly stopped moving, why your breath has seemed to hitch in your throat.
Just because.
A bouquet of now-wilted flowers on your kitchen counter. A teddy bear from a carnival tucked beneath your bed. A tennis racket you made him swear not to buy that showed up in your locker one morning before practice. Just because.
The restroom door swings open and four girls walk out. One of them—
“Kimi.”
The name slips from your mouth before you even realize it. You want the earth to swallow you whole at this moment. For the current to drag you under. For the heavens to crack open.
The girl looks at you with wide eyes. Guilt, you can tell. Pity.
She says your name this time. “Hi,” she says a little nervously. “How are you?”
Just like Maki, her friends watch the situation unfold from a careful distance. Will one of you lunge at the other? Will you pretend to be the best of friends? Should they come closer? Should they stay back?
“I’m doing well,” you tell her. The voice that comes out of you doesn’t feel like your own. You only realize now that you’re smiling. There’s a hint of smugness to it, a hint of callousness, cruelty. “I take it you and Satoru are going strong.”
She seems to catch your tone. Unintentional of course, but she doesn’t know that. All trepidation seems to leave her body, replaced by a similar coldness. “Yeah, we are,” she says. “I hear you and Sukuna are an item now.”
You try not to cringe at the implication. You’ve traded Satoru, the golden boy, for Sukuna, the bad idea. No point regretting it now.
“Yeah,” you say. End this now, you think. “Well, Maki and I have a meeting to get back to.”
“Oh, sure,” she says sweetly, stepping out of your way. Her friends follow suit. “See you around.”
You take Maki’s hand and wave at the girl as she passes by. “See you.”
The two of you walk into the restroom and let the door close behind you. You’re looking at each other now, breathing deeply as you hear the girls outside walk away.
“That was fucking insane,” Maki finally says.
“Tell me about it.”
You both burst out laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation. It’s not a big deal, if you’re thinking logically, seeing your ex’s new girlfriend in a restroom. You all go to the same school, it’s not like you can avoid each other. Still, the whole thing brings out a viciousness in you that you can’t quite control, one that’s always ridiculous in hindsight.
You go into the bathroom stalls, still laughing.
“You were so cold,” Maki tells you from the stall beside you. “I was so proud, you wouldn’t believe it.”
“I was mean!” you exclaim. You groan as you reach for the toilet paper. “She’s so telling him about that.”
“No way. It’d be embarrassing.”
You pull your pants up and head out to wash your hands in the sink, waiting for Maki to finish. “She knows about Sukuna.”
“Yeah,” she says. “How do you feel about that?”
“Humiliated.”
She steps out of the stall and washes her hands in the sink beside yours. “You still think the whole pretend-dating thing is worth it?”
You shrug, crossing your arms over your chest. “What’s done is done,” you tell her. “Sunk cost, baby.”
Maki dries her hand and looks at you seriously now. “Are you okay?”
Just because.
The words echo in your head. Words that have only ever been spoken to you now tainted by her voice.
“No,” you tell her. When she looks at you with furrowed brows, all you can do is shrug. “But I’ll have to be.”
notes. a little insight into reader's student life and bit of her bitchy side 👀 these chapters are getting longer than i'm used to lmao i fear the plot is getting away from me and just dragging me along for the ride at this point
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Hi! I was the one who requested the daughters one. Can you write it for the undateables?
sure thing bestie🫡 sorry I made you wait 💔
With his Daughter
Diavolo:
● As the future Queen of Devildom you'd think his daughter is the perfect little girl in pretty dresses holding tea parties with her stuffies....
● My sweet summer child...
● She's a menace.
● You know girls usually take after their father. Diavolo is a fully grown adult and he can still be a menace.
● Can you imagine what he was like as a toddler ?? ● His little girl LOVES speaking her mind and Diavolo is very supportive of this habit. He adores how little kids think; and say the obvious. He damn sure won't be getting in the way of her freedom.
● Little girlie also likes to climb trees, play in the mud, prank the staff, if you get her one of those electric cars from the Human World she'd never get out.
● Likes to yell and throw tantrums; this is the only behavior of hers which Diavolo dislikes, though he is very patient with her regardless. Explains to her why she is being too much right now BUT let's go get icecream instead just to calm down.
● Think of Muffin from Bluey. Exactly.
● She is hectic, she is faaar from perfect, but his daddy doesn't let anyone tell her off or make her feel bad about it.
● As the other parent.... you hardly can rest with this two but if anyone, it's you who can slow them down a bit if this is not your style.
Barbatos:
● He has experience raising kids, though usually sons.
● He was not prepared for his daughter to steal his heart so effortlessly though.
● He is absolutely in love since day 1. She was just born and now he'd do anything for her.
● Though she is not going to be so spiled to do whatever she wants, she must learn to be nice and polite - though I think she is a much calmer kid than Diavolo's, for example.
● She likes to pick flowers, play on the swing, dress pretty, and she likes to give kisses. She also likes to help her daddy cook!!
● Her dad is so proud of her, even when he is tired he refuses to rest unless they had playtime.
Simeon:
● Antoher person with experience; though the infant stage is new for him as well.
● He'd absolutely love his child no matter the gender, but his little girl is a copy-paste version of him of course he is obsessed.
● Gets up every single time she cries, does anything to calm her down, has endless patience. ● Hardly ever gets frustrated even when he hasn't slept well in years. Truly a perfect example.
● Likes to go on trips as a family!!!
● Very soft-spoken with her, explains everyting as many times as needed.
● His daughter isn't too spoiled but she has everything a kid needs. Has simple toys, non of that loud flashy stuff.
● Loves to read her stories inside, in the garden, on the road, doesn't matter he just wants to make sure his baby is set for a good, creative, happy life.
Solomon:
● Okay I doubt he was the protective kind BEFORE becoming a father..... and he is not going to change AFTER becoming one either.
● Kids must learn how the world works right?
● It is the best for her to experience everything.
● Yes he is there to calm her down, provide aid, etc, but he is not going to stop her from touching a thorn for example
● Like superglue his daughter is right there with him at all times. He can only use the toilet if he manages to leave without her noticing.
● I loove to imagine him carrying his daughter on his shoulders!!!
● Ah imagine him playing blocks with her 🥹 Building the prettiest castle just for her to destroy!
● Likes to wear matching colored clothing with her
● His heart breaks to shreds when she refuses to eat anything he cooks... there is no going back from that. Easily the worst feeling he had in the past centuries.
● His daughter is very clever for her age at all times. She might tutor some of her classmates if she likes them.
AN: did you know the base of your personality is inherited from your parents? yes you might change on purpose here and there, yes society, your culture also shapes you as you grow, but the base material you have to work with is inherited
AN 2: i have no clue where part one is but i trust it is on my blog somewhere 👉👈
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me!#omswd#obey me diavolo#swd obey me#obey me swd#obey me solomon#obey me barbatos#obey me simeon#obey me headcanons#obey me scenarios#obey me hcs#obey me hc#obey me fluff#simeon#obmswd
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Beware the Fae King
Another quick Liar's Circus blurb! This one is about how Shadow Milk Cookie describes Elder Faerie Cookie to the Kids!
Enjoy!
“Are not!” Wizard Cookie snapped.
“Are too!” Came Gingerbrave’s well-thought-out reply.
Gingerbrave and Wizard Cookie had been arguing like this since they got back from their trip into town to get groceries. The trio were lounging in Gingerbrave’s tent, the boardgame they had been playing forgotten in favor of a petty argument. Strawberry Cookie had given up on trying to break them up and resigned herself to watching with a tired sigh.
She had been winning too…
“Hey, hey, hey! What’s going on over here, my Little Stars?” The Ringmaster floated over from who-knows-where, putting himself between the bickering friends.
“We’ll ask the Ringmaster about it, then!” Wizard Cookie said, not taking his eyes off of Gingerbrave, “He knows everything, which means he’ll know that I’m right!”
“Well I do know everything…” The Ringmaster said with a pleased chuckle, “But I must admit I am ever so very lost on what you two are fighting about! Mind filling me in, kids?”
When Wizard and Gingerbrave just kept glaring at each other, Strawberry decided to fill in the Ringmaster herself.
“It’s about faeries.” She said, failing to notice how the word made their mentor twitch.
“… Faeries?” His smile grew a bit strained, “Now wherever did you kiddos hear about… those?”
“A nice old lady in town told me a story about them!” Gingerbrave finally broke his staring contest with Wizard. “She said they might give us gifts if we’re nice to the forests! I was talking to Wizard about it but he says they’re not real!”
“They’re just rumor and superstition!” Wizard Cookie huffed, “Faerie Cookies are just something adults made up to trick kids into behaving! Tell him, Ringmaster!”
“They’re totally real and cool and nice!!!” Gingerbrave stomped his foot with a huff.
Both boys turned to the Ringmaster with expectant looks, wanting him to settle this argument once and for all.
Shadow Milk Cookie barely contained an amused chuckle at their adorably serious expressions. Why did kids always have to take such frivolous things so seriously? And why did their expressions just look so goofy?
The Ringmaster cleared his throat.
“Well…” He pressed his hands together as he thought about how to phrase this. “Yes, Faerie Cookies do exist.”
“HA!” Gingerbrave puffed out his chest, feeling victorious. Embarrassment colored Wizard Cookie’s cheeks as he glared at his friend from under his bangs.
“However, the myths of them being nice are wrong.” Added the Ringmaster.
“Whaaaat?” Gingerbrave wilted, disappointed that he might not be able to make a faerie friend.
Strawberry tugged on the Ringmaster’s sleeve, gaining his attention. She shuffled her feet as she asked, “Have you ever met a faerie, Ringmaster?”
He timed his hesitation before responding, “I have a bit of a history with them, yes… Though I must admit, I’m a rather biased party! After all… It’s hard to feel fond for one’s jailors.”
“HUH?!” The children gasped, taking the bait - hook, line, and sinker.
Shadow Milk Cookie turned his back to them to hide the small grin he could feel spreading across his face. He covered his mouth with his fist to sell the idea that he was slightly distraught.
“But didn’t you say it was the Witches who locked you up?!”
“You’re a really powerful cookie, how could a bunch of faeries keep YOU locked up?! How strong are they?!”
“But the story I heard said they were guardians of the forests!”
“Alright! Alright!” The Ringmaster turned back around, putting his hands up to stop the barrage of questions and exclamations, “I’ll answer all your questions… In the form of a story! And it’s about your favorite characters too!”
The children perked up in interest at that.
“The Five Great Heroes?!” Gingerbrave had stars in his eyes. They all loved the Ringmaster’s stories, but Gingerbrave seemed to have a special fondness for them.
“That’s right!” With a flourish, the kids were lifted off their feet and three cushions were brought over from Ginerbrave’s bed. They were gently seated as, with another wave of his hand, the Ringmaster summoned a small puppet theater before the trio. “But I must warn you, I’m afraid your favorite heroes don’t come out on top this time…”
Gingerbrave, who had practically been vibrating in his seat, paused. The other two children looked rather confused as well. The Five Great Heroes always won in the Ringmaster’s stories…
The Ringmaster vanished behind the puppet theater. The lights in the tent visibly dimmed, immersing the group’s focus on the little stage before them.
“Now… Where to begin…” The Ringmaster’s voice filled the entire tent. “Well… Can’t beat the classic opener! AHEM!”
Once upon a time…
There were Five great Cookies. Baked to be perfection incarnate! Great heroes who were so radiant, so glorious! They rebelled against their evil creators and began to forge a new future for the Cookies! One free of the tyranny of Witches!
Ah, but their greatness drew envy from many Cookies. But one Cookie’s jealously rose above all the others! He was known as…
The Faerie King!
A loyal servant of The Witches, he believed he had been baked to be the strongest in the world! Any Cookie who challenged him was dealt with, without mercy!
He stole the Life Powder from the Cookies foolish enough to give him their names…
He cursed the Cookies who wandered into the Faeriewood to wander lost forever…
Any who dare challenge him to battle? Was swiftly cut to pieces!
And should the Witches will it, he would kidnap small cookies into the night… To offer them to the Witches to EAT! Ah! How terrifying! I can barely look!
Oh, but he was the REAL fool! Yes! Such a fool indeed…
And yet, despite his foolishness, he was dangerously sneaky, oh, so sneaky!
“Great Witches! How do I defeat these foes so I may become the strongest Cookie in the world?” He asked his dark masters.
“Alas, there is no way you can best them in battle…” Replied the Witches, “However, we know a way to remove them from the world forever!”
And so their evil plan was put into action…
The Faerie King challenged the Five to a great battle! But just as it looked like he would loose…
WOOSH! BOOM!
Silver rained down from the skies! Chains wrapped around the Five like snakes! It was a trap!
The Five Great Heroes, their bodies reduced to crumbs, had their spirits sealed away inside a magical Silver Tree. What a tragedy!
And so the selfish, cruel, but ohh so so foolish king punished the Five Great Cookies according to his own whim!
“HA HA!” He laughed, “Now I will protect this tree and all who stand against me will be offered to the Witches!”
The Faerie King still protects the Silver Tree to this day. For he refuses to ever give up his title as the Strongest! And any Cookies who have tried to free the Heroes and bring about the end of the Witches? Wind up as crumbs!
He rules the forests with an iron fist! His faerie knights attack any wingless cookies they see! And if you’re alone and wander too close to the wood… You might just wind up never being seen again!
They’re tricky! They’re evil! They’re sneaky! They’re cruel! Yes, the fae are not to be trusted one itty-bitty bit! And you should never be foolish enough to meet their King!
So be wary of the forest, kids! And never come home late!
Lest you meet the Faerie King and wind up on a plate–!
“EEEK!” Strawberry Cookie’s scared cry startled Wizard Cookie and Gingerbrave, who replied with their own screams.
The three of them instinctually huddled together, seeking the safety they knew came with being close.
“I’m sorry, kiddos! I didn’t mean to scare you THAT badly!” A voice behind them cooed and suddenly they found themselves being wrapped in the Ringmaster’s arms.
On the inside, Shadow Milk Cookie thought their reactions were hilarious.
“Th-Th-That story isn’t REAL is it?” Strawberry asked, eyes already watering.
“I’m afraid it is, sweetheart.” Said the Ringmaster, “Elder Faerie Cookie is super-duper dangerous! And the last thing I want is for any of you to get cut down by his sword or offered up to the Witches!”
“Y-You just wanted to warn us…” Wizard summed up. His little body trembling like a leaf.
“After that story, I hope I never meet any faeries, ever!” Gingerbrave shook his head vehemently.
“If you do, you’ll have nothing to worry about!” The Ringmaster said with a sunny smile, “I’ll protect you! Alright? You can always rely on me!”
The kids cuddled closer to him. Though he was a spirit and lacked any warmth, they still felt safe in his arms.
Yes, they would definitely be able to rely on their Ringmaster to keep them safe…
#liar's circus#cookie run fanfic#fanfic#cr fanfic#gingerbrave#strawberry cookie#wizard cookie#shadow milk cookie#au
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I feel like in a modern AU, Stede would take Ed to do all kinds of fun things he never got to do growing up. I grew up poor, too, so I know what it's like and the joy that comes from finally doing those things as an adult.
I've got all these fluffy headcanons of Stede taking Ed to the petting zoo, to the carnival and spending $50+ winning him a plushie that he really wants, to playgrounds at night so he can push him on the swings when no one else is around to yell at them, to the aquarium, to Claire's (of course), the zoo, or maybe surprising him with a toy he always wanted as a kid but could never afford. Or maybe the big trip to Disney World!
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It’s always been you
Dbf Negan x fem reader
Part 1 of 2
I’m really feeling the dad’s best friend Negan atm, I really like writing him in this AU.
Synopsis-NO OUTBREAK AU
Developing a crush on your dads best friend as a teenager, slowly morphs into something deeper as you grow up. When your an adult yourself he becomes a best friend to you too, one you take comfort from whenever your husband upsets you. When lines blur and feelings arise you’ll either burn your life to the ground, or you’ll get everything you’ve ever wanted since you were 17.
Warnings- Dads best friend, Large age gap, feelings, hurt, comfort, infidelity, confessions, smut, 18+ only, P in V, unprotected sex, emotional cheating (not from Negan), I made Negan’s mean ex wife an OC because I couldn’t do that to Lucille, my terrible writing as always. Negan’s character is based more on season 11 Negan, in the walking dead.
Was meant to be a one shot but as always I ran away with it so there will be a part 2.
Word count - 6.8K
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Negan, your dads closest friend came into your life when you were just 17 years old. Your family had moved across states from the bustling city of Chicago to Vermont New England. It had been quite a challenge for you at the time, being a teenager and in your final couple of years of school. In that moment it had felt like the end of the world, leaving all your friends behind and going from city life to country living. You’d hated your parents originally, but over time you realised they were only doing what they felt was best for you. The job your dad was offered was more money and it came with great perks, and the house they could afford here was four times the size of the apartment you had in Chicago.
So in time you settled in, your new neighbours were lovely too. The couple to the left of you were an elderly couple who had their children and grandchildren come over every weekend. They always offered you and your little brother home baked treats, as well as inviting you over to play with their own grandkids. At 17 you always politely declined but your little brother would usually go over, as they had a grandson a similar age.
Then to the right of you there were the Smith’s, Negan and his wife Rebecca lived in a three bed detached house, even though it was only themselves and their dog living there. Both clearly in their late 30’s they hadn’t had any children of their own. Negan became fast friends with your dad, always inviting each other over for beers and game nights. He become a constant visitor in your home, his wife on the other hand always stayed home even when she was invited by your mother.
They seemed to have a somewhat estranged relationship, they were always fighting which usually lead to her getting into her car and storming off down the road, not to be seen again until the next day. Negan would then come outside and sit on his porch lighting up a cigarette, this is when you would come over to talk with him.
Talking with Negan had always been easy, when you think back to your teenage days where you would have long in depth conversation with him, and make corny jokes to get him to smile again.
“Why did the waiter give the pony a glass of water?” You ask Negan in giggles, “I don’t know kid why?” He replies, “Because he was a little horse” you laugh, watching him laugh with you was the highlight of your weeks, “God kiddo that was terrible” he groans “Hey! You laughed” you tease, he just grins at you. Job accomplished, he was now smiling again, and it always caused butterflies to erupt in you stomach that you were the one who made it happen.
His wife was a piece of work though, she expected a lot, Negan had worked himself into the ground to provide her with the life she said she wanted, but she never seemed thankful. Any small thing he did would be brought up again and thrown in his face, and they weren’t even that bad, he accidentally broke her mother’s plate, or he forgot to collect the dry cleaning. It was as if Rebecca wanted to cause an argument, even so your mum had tried to befriend her.
As time went of their marriage fell apart and by the time you were 22 they were divorced, she had moved in with her new partner incredibly fast, leaving Negan alone in the house next door to you. Your dad and him started spending even more time together from then on, becoming the best of friends they are today.
Flash forward to today, you were now 30 years old and you and Negan still had a great bond. He’d become your best friend too in a sort of way, you talked daily through text, and called him weekly to check in. If something was broken, or your car had issues it would be him you turned too, at first it was because your dad had no clue, but over time it was because you’d rather call Negan than anyone else.
He’d been there for most major steps of your life, passing your driving test, finishing high school, leaving for and returning from college, your first date, first heartbreak, fall outs with friend’s, getting your first job…… he’s witnessed it all. He was even there the day you said I do to James, the day where you weren’t really sure you were making the right decision. James was a good guy, but he was aloof and he rarely took your feelings on board, told you frequently that you were being too sensitive, which was probably true you were, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.
In these moments it was always Negan you had turned too for comfort,
He did it again, went out with his work colleges without telling me. I know it’s silly to be upset, but I can’t help it. She’s there too, it’s hard enough that he works with his ex, but he spends more time out with her than me, even if it is in a group.
I always feel like I’m right at the back of his mind.
Xx
Ping
Hey sweetheart,
No your feelings are justified, Rebecca would do things like this all the time and could never understand why I was hurt. So I completely get it, my doors open if you want to pop over.
Negan xx
You thought for a minute, pulling your bottom lip with your teeth. James wouldn’t be home for hours and sitting here alone and upset wasn’t making things any better.
Yeah ok I’ll be over in 10
Xx
Ping
Ok sweetheart, just let yourself in
Xx
Smiling at his response you throw on your shoes and jacket, grab your keys and make your way over to Negan's place.
Walking into Negan’s house was always like coming home, the familiar scent of pine, woodsmoke and tobacco fill the air. The fire in the lounge is always going during these colder months, giving the home a warm, welcoming feeling. “Negan?” You call out as you enter, “In the Kitchen sweet cheeks” he answers. Kicking off your shoes you make your way to the back of the house towards the kitchen, pausing at the doorframe to admire the sight. He’s stood over the stove, grey sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips, wearing his favourite Metallica t shirt. Originally the shirt was black, but after years of washing and wearing it, it’s more of a washed out dark grey now.
As he reaches up to turn the extractor fan on, causing the shirt to ride up, showing a small amount of his lower stomach. You notice his happy trail disappearing into his sweats, and can’t help the thoughts of what it would be like to run your hands down it. Gosh what are you thinking, get a hold girl, you scald yourself.
Clearing your throat you enter the room, “Hey! Watcha cooking?” You ask, “Hey darlin, I’m making spaghetti, have you eaten yet? Because I made enough for two just incase” he responds. God he’s so thoughtful you wish James was more like this, do you though? Or do you just wish James was in fact Negan.
“No I haven’t, thanks Negan” you reply, he nods at you pulling two plates out the cupboard.
Sat at the kitchen island you both enjoy your meals, laughing and reminiscing. It’s so easy, the conversation flows and you forget all about the upset you felt earlier on. “You know I saw your dad slip on ice yesterday, he did this sort of dance as he tried to steady himself. I asked if he needed a hand but he acted as if nothing happened. He must have pulled something because he’s been walking like John Wayne since” he laughs, “Oh my goodness poor dad, he never told me” you reply amusement in your voice. “He seems fine, but he was way to stubborn to ask for help” he adds. “Yeah he’s always been too stubborn for his own good” you hum.
You tell him about work and anything else that’s happened this week, listening to how his week went too, before checking the time with a sigh, “I should get back, he’ll be home soon.” He gives you a small smile, “Alright sweetheart, you know where I am yeah? If you need anything” he assures you, “Yeah thanks Negan, and thanks for cheering me up, I needed this.”
“Always” he promises.
Leaving you give him a warm hug goodbye, holding on a second longer than you probably should, before entering your car and heading home. He stands there for a minute watching you leave, sighing to himself. He hates how unhappy you are, he hates it even more that he’s not the one by your side making you happy. When you’re together everything feels right, his heart feels full, it’s where your meant to be he’s sure of it, beside him here.
_______________________________________
When you arrive home James is already back and fast asleep in your shared bed, he hadn’t waited for you. Checking your phone it was only 10:15pm, he could have waited to actually see you today.
Grabbing his dirty laundry off the bathroom floor you notice a pink lipstick stain on his shirt collar, your heart plummets, nausea hits and dizziness causes you stumble over your feet. Bringing the shirt to your face you can smell feminine perfume, but not just any perfume no, it’s her perfume, his exes scent covers the offending material.
You slump to the floor, every emotion is swirling through you as tears sting your eyes. It may be innocent she was there in the group he went out with, he was back at a reasonable time. You try to justify everything to yourself, you needed to give this time, to follow him, gather evidence and get the proof yourself before you accuse your husband of cheating.
Chucking the shirt back to where he left it to not cause suspicion, you got yourself cleaned up and ready for bed, slipping into the sheets you look over at James, soft snores leaving him as he’s blissfully unaware of your inner turmoil. Eventually you lay down and close your eyes, letting sleep take you.
_______________________________________
It’s been a week since the night you found the lipstick on your husbands shirt, and he’s spent the week being surprisingly sweet and attentive towards you. This in itself is raising suspicions to you, he’s not been this sensitive to your feelings since the very beginning of your relationship. Even so nothing since has been out of the ordinary, he’s left his phone laying around and handed it straight to you when you asked to make a call, because your phone was battery exhausted. He hasn’t left in the evenings, he’s phoned you on his way out of the office to run over any groceries he needed to grab on his way home, then arriving straight home bags in hand. So now you’re doubting anything you thought may have happened, he’s not acting like a guilty man, or one who’s having an affair, your only suspicion is how nice he’s being, and you’re starting to feel like a woman crazed.
You of course have been running it all over with Negan, explaining everything you found and what’s happening. He’d offered to beat him, which you’d laughed at but declined. You’d said you think you were just jumping to conclusions, and that you’d need actual proof before any violence was needed, he disagreed.
But all in all things were going better, the only problem was that you had this pit in your stomach, this feeling that a train wreck was starting to unfold. You couldn’t put your finger on it but something didn’t feel right. So when he messaged you later that afternoon saying he was going out with the guys, you set your plans into motion.
Hey ok,
What bar are you going too? Just so I know incase of emergencies.
Xx
Your phone buzzed on the countertop alerting you he’d responded.
We are going to the sports bar on Grange St, shouldn’t be out too late babe.
James x
You sent him back a little thumbs up, trying to act as unbothered as possible. You then called your closest girl friend Casey.
“Hey you ok?”
“Hey Case, I have a huge favour to ask you,” you plead down the phone.
“Yeah ok girl, what do you need?” You asks,
“I have a feeling James is cheating on me with his ex”
You hear an audible gasp down the phone, followed by “No! Really?”
“Yeah, I found lipstick on his shirts collar after he’s said he was out with his work colleagues. Which may be true but why was the lipstick on his shirt? Then I noticed the whole shirt smelt of her perfume” another gasp emits from your friend.
“So I was hoping that maybe you could go to the bar he said he’s at tonight, incognito style and let me know if he really is with the boys?” You ask pleadingly.
“Say no more babe, send me the bars details and the time and I’ll be there” she affirms.
“Thank you so much Case, I’ve been tearing my hair out over this” you sigh.
“It’s no trouble at all, it’s what friends are for, send me the details and I’ll call you when I have some news”
“Thank you”
Hanging up the call you smile to yourself, she’s always been a great friend. You met her your first day at school here, she showed you around that day and you’d both become best friends from then on. She was your maid of honour and you were there with her when her mum died, you’d been through a lot together and you could always rely on each other.
_______________________________________
The rest of the day went by quickly, you spent the afternoon into early evening working remotely from home, and were preparing yourself some dinner when your phone started buzzing,
“Hey Casey any news?” You ask, biting your nails in suspense.
“Well yes and no” she replies,
“What does that mean?” You ask confused,
“Well I’m here at the sports bar on Grange street, it’s past 7pm and it’s practically empty. There’s no group of guys here, and James is certainly not here” she responds.
“Oh…. That can’t be good can it?” You croak, emotions gathering a storm once more.
“They may just be late? I know you said 7, but I’ll hang around until 8pm just incase and I’ll call back ok babe?”
“Ok thanks Case” you reply.
Once off the phone you just sit there with it clutched to your chest, staring off into space while you try to make sense of the situation.
Sometime later your phone began to buzz again, you halted your pacing around the kitchen and answered Casey’s call,
“Hey Casey, I’m afraid to ask, but any news?” You ask.
“No I'm afraid not hun, it’s now 8:15 and there’s no sign of any of the guys, I’m going to check other bars in the area and see if there was just a change in plans” she offers,
“Ok thanks Case”
“It’s not a problem babe, I’ll keep you on the phone as I walk about checking bars,”
“Ok thank you, so how’s your dad?” You ask,
“Yeah he’s doing good, he actually has a date tomorrow which is great, you know it’s been 7 years next week. I think it’s time for him to live again, he’s 56 now and I don’t want him to spend the rest of his life lonely” she explains.
“Yeah I agree, bless him it’s been a while hasn’t it. He’s a lovely guy though so I’m sure his date will go great” you reply.
“Hmmm,” she agrees, “Talking about older guys, how’s Negan?” You can hear the teasing tone in her voice and it catches you off guard,
“Ooh umm” you stammer, “Yeah he’s good, well he was when I spoke to him yesterday, he and my dad are going fishing next weekend so he seems excited about that, although they will probably just sit there and drink beer, chatting and completely forget about the fishing part” you laugh.
“Yeah I bet, he still as dreamy as ever?” She jests.
“Stop it!” You laugh,
“Well this is the third bar I’ve checked and no sign of him sweets, I don’t know what to tell you?” She sighs.
“Ok Case, well thanks for looking for me, I know you must have had plans you cancelled for me” you respond.
“Nah just a date with Ben and Jerry, and possibly some Netflix, it’s all good babe”
She’s such a great friend you think, “I’m gunna walk back to my car now, sorry it wasn’t an easy fix hun.”
“No it’s ok, thanks for trying,” you assure her,
Then you hear a low gasp through the phone “What Case what’s happening?”
“ I see him….” She trails off, “So he is out with the boys, that’s such a relief thanks hunni so much….” But she cuts you off with a “No I see him with her” and your whole vision spins, “What??” You reply meekly.
“I’m so sorry babe, he’s sat in the Italian restaurant Lorenzo’s with her, it’s just the two of them and he’s holding her hand.. I’m so sorry babe, I’ll take a photo to show you”
Your silent on the other end, trying to comprehend what’s happening,
Ping
The image pops up and that is indeed James, sat holding her hand having dinner in the fancy Italian restaurant.
“I’m so sorry, did you want me to pop over I can be right there?” She offers.
“No” you choke, “ I think I just need some time alone to come to terms with this” you reply,
“Ok babe I completely understand, you know where I am if you need me yeah?”
“Yeah thanks” you hum, ending the call.
In your spiral of turmoil you do the only thing you know to do, you send Negan a text saying you need to see him, and you hurry out the door.
_______________________________________
As soon as you pull onto his drive he’s out of the house greeting you, panic written on his face, “What’s wrong sweetheart”, shaking your head you throw yourself into his arms, burying your face into his chest as you let the tears freely fall. “Hey it’s ok baby girl it’s ok, I’ve got ya” he coos as he strokes your hair and holds you close.
Sometime later after your breaths slow and you calm down he pulls you inside and onto his couch, “You going to tell me what’s going on baby girl? He asks, still concerned at your current state. You silently pull your phone out, bringing up the image and handing the phone over to Negan, “Casey took this tonight” you explain.
Negan takes in the image, bringing his hand to his mouth in shock, before running his fingers through his beard. “Shit!” He states, “Yeah shit indeed” you deadpan. “I’m so sorry sweetheart, you deserve so much better than this” you look down to your lap, fiddling with a loose thread on your jeans. “Hey look at me sweetheart” he encourages, his fingers carefully pulling your chin up so his eyes can meet yours, “You deserve so much better than this” he affirms once more. “Hell darlin you deserve the world, you’re the most incredible woman I know, and he’s an idiot if he doesn’t see it”.
Staring into his eyes you notice how close your face is to his, you could just lean in and press your lips to his, just mere inches. But he clears his throat pulling you in for another hug, “Can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to go home and I’m not ready for mum and dad to know yet” you ask.
“Of course darlin, you’re always welcome here, you know that” he assures you.
“How about I get you some comfy clothes to sleep in, and we can put a movie on?” He offers.
“Yeah that sounds good thanks Negan”
Taking a deep breath you follow him up the stairs and into his room, you take it in, from the books on his bedside table, to his neat sides, dark cotton bedsheets and pine scent, it’s just so Negan. You smile to yourself as you run your fingers over the books splayed out, Negan returns with some sweatpants and baggy t shirt, stopping at the entrance for a moment he admires the way you explore his room, a fond smile plays on his lips.
“Here these should do” he says handing you the clothes.
“Thank you”
“Of course darlin, I’ll leave you to get changed” and with that he closes the door and wonders off down the landing. You hastily change into the comfy clothes, enjoying the softness against your skin. They smelled of him and the feeling comforted you. Looking around his room once more, you catch something in the corner of your eye on the opposite night stand, rounding the bed your breath catches in your throat as realise it’s a framed photo of you and Negan together, taken at one of your dads BBQs a few years back.
You pick the photo up tracing the frame gently, when did he get this? Has it been here since the BBQ? Why does he have a photo of only you two next to his bed? So lost in thought you didn’t notice him walk back in, “I’m guessing I owe you an explanation for that huh?” He sighs. Jumping, startled by his sudden voice you gather your thoughts turning to face him, your breath hitches when you find him right in front of you, watching your face, trying to gage your reaction. “Why?” You stutter out, “Why do you have a photo of us beside your bed?” You ask.
“Well I think that’s obvious sweetheart” he states.
“Obvious how? I don’t understand” you reply, he steps closer and carefully moves a strand of hair out of your face, “I have it because I love you, I’m in love with you baby girl, and I know this is the most shittiest time to tell you this, but I’ve held it in for the best part of a decade and I can’t any more, you don’t have to say anything. I don’t expect anything from you, I just needed to tell you” he explains, water filling his eyes as he gives you a half smile.
You don’t respond not with words anyway you fumble to place the frame back onto the table, before wrapping your arms around Negan’s neck and crashing your lips against his. He freezes in shock initially but quickly regains composure and kisses you back, arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you in closer deepening the kiss.
Your tongue swipes at his bottom lip seeking entrance, which he grants caressing your tongue with his, as the kiss becomes more needy and desperate Negan hoists you up, grabbing under your thighs and laying you down on his bed, lips never leaving yours he moves to hover over you. Threading his fingers with yours as he continues his attack down your neck to your collarbone. Wrapping your legs around his waist you pull him flush against you, raising your hips into him you grind your pelvis against his.
He pauses for a second looking down at you with such love and emotion “Are you sure sweetheart?” He asks eyes tracing you face searching for any uncertainty on your features, “Yeah I’m sure, I’ve never been so sure, I’ve loved you since I was 18” you admit. That’s all the confirmation he needs as his mouth finds yours once more. You pull at the bottom of his shirt, trying to tug it over his head, he lets out a laugh before standing up and removing it, “You only had to ask baby girl” he grins.
“Well then…” you reply, hooking your feet in his pants you give a gentle tug with your toes, “I’ll have these off too please”, “Oh will you now” he teases, grinning down at you as he unbuttons them and shrugs them off, he finds the end of your sweatpants pulling them off in one swift movement, causing an unexpected gasp from you. Throwing them to the side he joins you again on the bed, “Tell me what you want baby” he asks against your throat, while peppering your skin in sweet open mouthed kisses.
“You, I want you.” You moan, “You have me sweetheart, you’ll have to be more specific” you groan at his teasing “Negan please I need you”, “Need me where darlin?” He urged, grabbing his hand you pull it down your stomach to your panties, “Here, I need you here” you whimper. Seemingly done with the teasing he pulls your underwear to the side, running his fingers through your slick and bringing it up to your clit, causing you to let out a loud moan. “Fuck baby girl you’re soaked, this all for me?”, “Yeah, all for you, always for you”, it’s been seconds and you’re already a mess, whimpering and writhing under him.
Removing his hand he uses both to grab the hem of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head, chucking it with the growing pile of clothing. Immediately his mouth finds your breasts, mouthing, sucking and licking them, your nipples becoming hard under his touch. “Fuck! Please Negan I need you” you buck your hips into him, arching your back desperate for some kind of relief. He gives you a smirk, mischief in his eyes as he starts kissing downwards across your stomach, all the way to your pelvic bone. He laces his fingers through the material, pulling your panties down, mouthing your skin lower and lower as he does. Feeling his hot breath over your core you whine, “Negan please” you beg desperate for him to do something, without warning he dives his face into your pussy, eating you out like a man starved.
“Fuck!!” You scream, “Feeling good yeah baby? I’ve waited so long to have you like this beneath me, to feel your body against mine, you’re like a dream come true baby” he growls against your core, spreading your folds he inserts two fingers into your wet heat, curving them upwards to hit that spongy spot that sends you reeling.
“I’m gonna come!” You scream as you release all over his face and fingers, as he rides out your high. Giving your clit one last slow lick you hiss, grabbing to pull him away from your sensitive pussy, smirking he crawls back up the bed kissing you deeply, your sweet taste on his lips makes you moan into his mouth, and you fumble to pull down his underwear.
“You still sure sweet girl? We can stop here if you’re not.” He worries, “Negan I swear to god if you don’t fuck me right now I’ll” he silences you with another deep kiss before removing his boxers. His cock springs out slapping his stomach and you can’t help but gape at it with wide eyes, he’s big, really big. James was not this big and you begin to wonder if he’s gonna fit. As if reading your reaction “Don’t worry baby girl we will make it fit” he assures you, “This pussy” he continues as he starts rubbing your lower lips teasingly “Was made for me” he punctuates as he guides his cock forwards, sinking into your tight hole, “FUCK!!” You moan, back arching as you feel him split you open.
“That’s it baby girl, you’re taking me so well” he coos, as he sinks all the way in, hips flush with yours. “You ok sweetheart?” He asks as he gently brushes a sweaty lock of hair from your face, you nod hard not trusting your voice, “I need words darlin” he instructs, “Yes! Shit yes I’m good, please move” you whine. Lacing his fingers with yours he gives an experimental role of his hips, causing you to let out a low moan. Confident he wouldn’t hurt you now he began to pick up the pace, setting a strong rhythm, before bringing his lips to yours once more. Your fingers squeeze his as your pussy clamps down on him, signalling your close, your previous orgasm leaving your incredibly sensitive. Negan groans against your mouth before pulling away to watch you come undone, he brings your combined hands down to your little bundle of nerves as he encourages you to play with your yourself.
“So close baby, I need you to cum, can you do that for me sweet girl?”, you nod frantically throwing your head back as you choke his cock, letting out the most pornagraphic moan as white hot pleasure erupts through you. Negan’s thrusts become sloppy and rough as he chases his own high, before he stills realising inside your tight walls with a loud growl, the feeling of his cock pulsing causes you to moan again, wrapping your legs tightly around his hips pulling him flush against you.
You both lay there for what feels like hours, basking in the afterglow and catching your breaths. You break the long silence first “That was….. wow” you giggle. He huffs out a deep laugh, “Yeah, it was”, nose nuzzling into your neck. “Let’s clean you up and get some sleep yeah?” He offers, “Yeah ok” you agree.
Falling asleep that night in Negan’s arms you felt more loved and cared for than you have in years.
_______________________________________
Waking up to soft kisses on your exposed shoulders was a welcomed change, you mumble ‘Morning’ as you stretch out in strong arms. “Mornin’ darlin’” Negan responds, pulling you against him a little tighter. “Mmm I could just stay like this all day” you sigh, “We can if ya want baby, I’ve got no place to be” he agrees.
So you do, you spend the whole morning in bed together, tracing shapes on each others skin, talking about anything and everything and making love. Eventually your stomachs growl and you decide to get up in search of food, not before another heated session in the shower though.
As early afternoon hits your dad inevitably sees your car in Negan’s driveway and heads over to find out what’s going on. Hearing a knock on the door Negan leaves the comfort of your embrace on the coach and moves to answer it. “Oh hey Keith, you ok?” He says greeting your dad, “ I just noticed my daughter’s cars been here a while now, so I came over to see what’s going on” your dad explains, his voice questioning. “Ah yeah, well your gonna need to ask her about that” Negan replies motioning your dad to come in. Upon hearing your dads voice you quickly check you look presentable, and gather the courage to explain what’s happened.
“Hey baby, I noticed your car over here and came to see what’s going on?” Your dad comments as he comes to sit with you, “Hey dad, yeah Negan offered me his spare room last night, because I couldn’t face being at home, and I wasn’t ready to tell you and mum. But Casey caught James out with his ex last night, holding hands at a fancy restaurant, I know I should have told you but I was so upset and I couldn’t handle it last night” you ramble on, tears springing to your eyes once more.
You dad pulls you in for a hug “Oh sweetie I’m so sorry, shhhh” he coos holding you tight. “It’s going to be ok, you can come home for now, we haven’t touched your old room, just come home and we will help you take care of everything else” he encourages. “Yeah ok dad I’ll do that, I just need to grab some things” you explain. “Are you sure you don’t want us to do that? We don’t mind?” Your dad asks, “No I need to confront him and tell him it’s over, I need to do that for myself”, “Ok honey, well with your permission I’ll go and fill your mother in, and we will sort out your room for you” your dad says. “Yeah that’s fine, thanks dad” he nods at you “Thanks Negan for taking her in at such short notice, I really appreciate it man” your dad offers.
“It’s no problem, she’s always welcome here. She knows that” Negan replies with a shrug, trying to act nonchalant, when inside he’s terrified of giving something away, guilt ridden he’s keeping this from his best friend.
As Negan sees your dad out you check your phone, which has been left all night downstairs on the coffee table.
10 messages
33 missed calls
All but one are from James, which is a missed call from Casey, probably checking in on you, you made a mental note to call her in a bit.
Opening your stream with James you look at the messages.
Hey babe where are you? Xx
It’s getting really late now babe? Where have you got too? Xx
It’s now 1am, your still not home is everything ok? Xx
Fuck it’s like 3am now babe can you let me know where you are? Xx
Look just let me know your ok? Just message me back please x
I feel asleep it’s now 6am and your still not home, I’m going to go check Casey’s see if your there x
Hey I just spoke to Casey she showed me the photo, look it’s not what it looks like please let me know where you are, so we can talk about this xx
It’s now past lunch please babe I’m begging you talk to me, I know it looks really bad but just let me explain. Xx
I’ve tried calling all night and day, I’m really worried, I’m going to go to your parents house see if your there xx
Shit!!! He will see your car is next door, he will come barging over here! Shit shit shit!! You jump up in panic, when Negan comes back into the room he takes notice of your panicked state, “What’s up baby girl” he asks concerned. You hand him your phone so he can see the stream of messages, “He’s going to come here, he will see my car and he will come here and….”, “Woah, calm down sweetheart, if he comes here I can tell him to piss off, we can deal with it” he reassures you.
Just as you start to calm yourself down there’s a frantic knock on the door, you look at Negan with wide eyes. “It’s ok I’ve got it” he says before leaving the room once more. You can hear raised voices, it’s definitely James. You sigh rubbing your temples, you need to confront him, you need to have this conversation. So you take a deep breath, pull up your big girl pants and head for the front door.
“It ok Negan I can take it from here” you offer, “You sure sweetheart, you don’t have too” James scrunches his face at Negan’s pet name, “Yeah I’m sure” you nod, “Ok well I’ll be right inside if you need me, and I’m leaving the door open” he argues, taking one last look as he leaves to go inside.
“Hey” you start,
“Hey, please let me explain” he pleads.
You motion for him to go on, “Ok so I shouldn’t have lied to you, but I knew you wouldn’t understand and I didn’t want you mad at me. But Hannah’s been having a really hard time, her mum is really sick, she’s been in hospital for months now. She wanted to meet up to talk about it, and I was close to her mum once too, I just wanted to be there for her” he explains.
“Really?” You deadpan, “I don’t believe you, you were holding her hand for Christ sakes.” You shout.
“I was comforting her! That’s all!” He defends.
“I found your shirt James! It smelt of her and it has a pink lipstick mark on the collar, so explain that” you demand.
“Yeah she did cuddle into me that night but nothing happened I swear to you, she was having such a tough time I didn’t want to push her off. I can see now it wasn’t the right thing to do, but I still care about her in some way, and she’s in pain” he pleads to you.
“I promise you I didn’t cheat on you, we were in a group that night you can ask anyone.” He adds.
“James allowing her to cuddle into you, holding her hand, lying to me about being with her! That is still cheating, you may not have slept with her, but that’s still emotional cheating.” You argue.
“Yeah ok I can see that, but I didn’t mean it like that I really didn’t, I think your overreacting a bit” he quips.
“What! Overeact….. Jesus James you never see it from my side! Never consider my feelings, I’m always either overreacting or I’m too sensitive, but what you did was emotional cheating!” You snap.
“Oh yeah? Ok then so what would you call what you’ve been doing for years with Negan huh! Every time we argue you call him, every time something happens in your life you call him! When you have a bad day you call to tell him, when something great happens you tell him! Never me! You never talk to me! It’s always him! How do you think that’s made me feel! This has been going on since we met! Then last night when this happens who do you run too? Hmmm? Negan once again!” He rants.
You stand there in shock mouth open, because he’s right, everything he just said is true. He may have emotionally cheated on you in recent months, but you’ve been doing it too for years. Realisation must have hit your features because he looks at you then carries on.
“I mean for Christ sake y/n he’s your dads best friend, he’s old enough to be your dad. Yet you’re clearly in love with him, huh aren’t you?” He asks in frustration.
“Yes” you whisper, “Yeah I love him, I always have” you admit.
“Then why did you marry me!” James shouts.
“I didn’t ever think I could have him, I didn’t think it was in the cards, and then I met you and I fell for you too, I do love you too, I promise I do! Just ………. Not as much as I love him, I’m so sorry” you admit, tears now flowing down your cheeks.
He just nods sadly, “You said didn’t think it was in the cards, not don’t think, has something changed?” He asks.
“Yeah” you admit.
“Since when?”
“Since last night” you confirm.
“Christ I guess I brought that on myself huh?” He asks.
“Did you sleep with him?”
There was no point lying now, everything was out in the open. “Yes” you whisper, but he caught it and now he was crying too.
“I get it” he says with a defeated laugh, “You thought I was having an affair, he comforted you then offered you the one thing you’ve wanted most since you were a teen huh, it’s over isn’t it?”
“Yeah, I think it’s been over for some time James, and I think you’re still in love with Hannah and deep down I think you know it” you concluded, meeting his gaze.
“Yeah I guess your right, maybe I do still love her, So can we do this amicably? The Divorce I mean, we can do everything 50/50?” He asks.
“Yeah I think we can” you admit, nodding to him with a kind smile, he pulls you in for a warm hug. “Friends then?” He offers, “Yeah in time I’m sure we will be” you agree. “Good, well I really do wish you all the best y/n” he smiles, “Yeah you too James, I hope you find happiness” you reply. He nods as he begins walking to his car “Bye James”, “Bye Y/N”.
It was a strange feeling watching him walk away, he was your college sweetheart, your first real relationship, it was the end of an era in some sort of way. But you didn’t feel sad, you felt free, as if this large weight had been moved from off your shoulders, like you’d been frantically treading water for years, and now your feet have finally hit land.
Warm arms curl around your waist, soft kiss hitting your temple. “You chose me” Negan chokes, voice filled with emotion. “Yeah” you agree, turning in his arms your eyes meeting his beautiful hazel orbs. “It’s always been you” you promise, before pulling him down into a sweet kiss.
_______________________________________
#negan smith#negan x reader#negan x you#negan fanfiction#the walking dead negan#twd negan#Dbf Negan#dbf x reader#negan imagine#negan smut#negan x female reader
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Poking at the dinosaur project thingy, this time with some production technicalities point of view.
Here be musings.
I originally thought of the project as a calendar, then a series of calendars that could be collected into an art book once enough art had been made for it, and at some point I thought of just skipping the calendar part and going straight for art books.
I've been going back and forth between those options multiple times over the years, and it's still kinda open. Like on one hand a simple calendar with just thirteen illustrations (twelve months plus cover) is the easiest and cheapest option, though pretty limited (what to do once the year presented in the calendar ends, and you still got unsold leftover stock?), and the other hand art books are big projects requiring lots of work, even more money, but be a lasting and very satisfying thing to have.
Maybe I should take a middle road and make a zine instead?
Maybe.
Though, this is where the shape of the actual project comes in.
I've always planned the project as having a slice of life style format, with little story and more focus in exploring the setting. Kinda just looking in and enjoying the view while you go. But I've noticed that keeping the "narration" as illustrations kinda keeps the immersion at arm's length too. While that is fine and dandy for a calendar where the space for any narrative would be very limited anyway, if I was going to do more with the setting, I kinda need something deeper. Even if the audience is fine just looking at pretty pictures, with ADHD it would be better to have something deeper to help keep me personally invested enough to actually plan, plot and produce the materials needed.
Should I make an actual story, with plot and stuff? Feels kinda unnecessary for a thing focusing on just illustrations, and I don't know if I really "click" with a text heavy picture book format. I kinda feel it would make comic as the best option, though that has its own downsides. I've always wanted to do full colour paintings of the dinosaurs, yet going comic it would have to simplify a lot and make it grayscale just to keep me sane. And, as someone who has done well over 250 pages of a long form comic, that's still a HUGE commitment I don't think I have the resources - mental, physical nor financial - to pull off.
I also kinda feel having a plot story would sort of detract from the "exploring the world" aspect and put more heavy focus on characters, which. Well, it's not *bad* exactly, just not quite what I want.
(Also I am aware the dinosaur clan I have has a kid character, and I don't want to make her the point of view character for the story. I have no interest doing a childrens' book. I mean, I am perfectly fine if kids do eventually end up liking my stuff, but I don't consider them my target audience. My target audience is me, an adult person in their later 30s, and a handful of nerds I consider friends and/or mutuals.)
Another option I've been toying with is kind of a double edged sword.
Those who got the Almost Real speculative evolution zine volume 5 got a bit of a taste of this, as I kinda tried it out there.
So... I've gone to pretty great lengths as a layperson to work in the setting of the project thingy. It's always bothered me when dinosaurs get just dumped into a story with no regards to when and where they actually lived, making for an anachronistic hodgepodge of what's popular forming into a mismatched fantasy setting, usually with throwing humans into the mix. I don't like that. I'm more interested in seeing the actual animals as they were, when they were and where they were, where the focus is in the dinosaurs themselves. Thus the limit to Two Medicine formation (with some of the surrounding areas included too, though still keeping to the same time period).
I do not want humans in my dinosaur stories. Period.
But what if...
So, imagine a research journal. There's a scientist visiting the clan of Singing People the project focuses on, with the mission of studying them, their life and their world. The book or zine or whatever could be a story of the dinosaur clan introducing themselves and their life to this person. An outsider point of view to excuse learning about them by them teaching this POV person how their world works. There could be some interaction and maybe interviews, and of course illustrations because you need to document your subjects after all.
Like, I'm kinda excited about the idea. It would let me get into the details I want to picture without getting too into the heads of the characters to limit the chances of artistic exploration. You gotta document the surroundings your study subjects live in after all! But you'd still get to know the characters because it's the job of the POV person to learn about them. Win win!
It's just that I don't want to put too much attention on this hypothetical scientist. Like I said before I don't want to mix my settings. The dinosaur project thingy's world IS Laramidia in the Campanian period of late Cretaceous, it's not meant to be a scifi setting, nor do I want to have any focus on any time travel.
Wonder if it would be possible to leave the scientist character vague enough to never actually get explained? They're just nameless outsider from undetermined time and place who's interviewing some dinosaurs. Maybe with some peronal opinions or musings but no anecdotes about their own life or themself. And whenever there's interactions between the scientist and any of the Singing People it just gets handwaved away. (Of course the Singing People are curious about them too, but that's not the point of the study so it just doesn't get documented or something?)
I don't know. Could that work?
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How are the kids in the negaverse adult au doing?
Errr.... not... good?
This is the whole cast remaining in the Adult Negaverse: Wally, Joey, Penelope, Nigel and ???.
And I can hear ya perverts, get your heads out of your butts, if you read this ask you know Penelope is just trying to get on Nigel's nerves because Wally allows her to be close and be """affectionate""" (because Wally too wants to play with Nigel's feelings just to keep him on edge and around).
Wally can't feel love or any positive feeling, so Penelope's like a pet for him. Also she's good at obeying orders of any kind, unlike someone who always whines, someone else who can't even talk or that other person who would do anything BUT ONLY for a dose.
Who is ??? ? No one knows, they don't even have a name! Only Nigel knows enough to keep them under control so they do what he wants.
What happened to the others?
They all died, sooner or later, because of someone else or themselves.
There aren't kids around, and that's why NegaWally wants to kidnap Penny and especially Sami.
#adult au#negaverse#nega adult au#penelope doe#???#wallabee beetles#joey beetles#nigel uno#knd#kids next door#drug mention//
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Thinking about the civilians in bnha and like. We could've gotten a mini plot about them fixing the Tenko problem???
Like, there's a kid orphaned by the Jaku Chaos who arrives at UA. They're traumatized; maybe looks creepy; is utterly alone. They do get all the necessities UA provides to all refugees so they're not starving and not injured, but Heroes are too busy with the war and people are mostly sticking to themselves, or too busy worrying about their own to care about some orphan. Hell, can be group of orphans, all hollow-eyed and resentful and avoiding everyone to form their own isolated gang.
But over the course of Act 3, the adult civilians reach out to these kids and integrate them into their lives, even if they're creepy, even if the civilians have no obligations to them, even if they're orphans with no blood relatives, even if it means the adults having to inconvenience themselves a bit.
Could've been a scene as simple as the kid eating their rations alone; someone sees them, and decides to invite them over to join their group for dinner.
"Hey, I see that kid eating alone all the time."
"Huh. Must be an orphan."
"Should we invite them over?"
"What? Why?"
"I mean, they've got no one."
"The Heroes/UA Admin are taking care of it. All orphaned kids get clothes and food and even classes. It's fine."
"But they shouldn't have to eat alone?"
"I mean... Look, they're almost finished with their meal. There's no point. Just leave it, it's not your problem."
But Person A thinks about the Uraraka Speech scene, makes up their mind, and goes to invite the kid anyways. Even better if like, Person B keeps protesting, and the rest of the group side-eyes them, decides to support Person A, and the group collectively goes to sit with the kid.
Make the kid a heteromorph, or an older kid (12-14), or has a creepy quirk, or can't talk due to trauma. All of these traits. You can knock out the Tenko/Jin/Spinner/Toga problem in one swoop.
idk how to integrate this into the final cheering for Deku and heroes. But like. It's something. And would make me feel that maybe there's hope after all that the next lost Tenko would be helped by someone.
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So my take on why Tommy calls Buck Evan...
I think it's because it bothers Tommy, that he's older than Buck. Because as much as he claims to find Buck "adorable"... That word is kinda telling, I think. It's infantilising. Puppies and kids are adorable! Calling your date adorable? Uhh.. It kinda just sounds like you think they're immature, wet behind the ears, less capable than you are.
So... Yes, Tommy is older than Buck.
Buck, the nickname? I think that to Tommy it just feels like a juvenile nickname. He prefers Evan because it sounds more mature, because Evan sounds like a grownass adult, a man. And Buck btw... is often used to describe a young animal. Older deers etc. are bulls, stags.
And yeah, Buck may not mind being called 'Evan' anymore. He has grown, maybe he now likes someone calling him Evan. Might be a nice change, someone acknowledging his maturity that way. As Eddie said to Buck after the lightning strike. Nobody is the same person from one day to the next. Buck doesn't need to be anything for anyone.
However... I do think the combination of 'Evan' with everything else that's going on, like Tommy calling him adorable... It does feel like trouble on the horizon.
Tommy... He's the guy who shows up to a 80's theme party wearing a henley.
And don't get me started on "he couldn't change, he was on call". C'mon, he was on car, nobody would rely on public transport when they're a firefighter on a call. He drank orange juice, he had a car parked nearby, he could have just taken a change of clothes with him to the party, and quickly changed his clothes if he was alerted to work.
Seriously, how many seconds does it take him to change a shirt, he has literally been trained to get dressed quickly, he's a firefighter!
So yeah he could have dressed according to the theme. He just didn't want to. He thought the theme costumes were above him. He thinks he's past that age, too old for costumes.
So that's why he calls Buck Evan.
Because he doesn't get silly fun, really. He thinks he's too old for nicknames, and theme costumes, and he thinks he's Buck's elder.
Because he hasn't been there to realize how much Buck has gone through, how much he has matured from where he started. He hasn't seen Buck help Eddie raise Chris, he hasn't seen the way Buck is always there for people to pick up the pieces and fix things when someone is in trouble. He hasn't seen Buck's responsible, mature side, has he?
Nope, he wasn't there to see Buck's growth, how wild he was when he first joined the team, how different he is from that Buck 1.0. So now he just sees the energetic, bubbly personality, the baby bi awkwardly stumbling out of the closet, like a Bambi on ice...
and thinks that Buck is adorable.
Like he's a child.
And.... I have a feeling that learning that Buck just trashed a hotel room suite with Eddie... will hardly make him rethink this impression!
#911 spoilers#tommy kinard#evan buck buckley#Evan Buckley#abc 911#bambi on ice#I think you're adorable#Because you're seven...#Oliver Stark#lou ferrigno jr#911 discourse#discourse is such a vague word tbh. I'm probably tagging wrong again but yeah I'm not a native english speaker.#and that one always confuses me#or maybe all of my attempted discourse just happens to be brainrot. restless adhd brain does not to stable and serious.#it's just a galaxy brain shooting around the universe.
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I think a lot of people miss that Nowi isn't a child, she's a teenager like Ricken and Donnel. She's just heavily traumatized because she was kidnapped after birth, bandied around, managed to escape long enough to befriend BANTU, and then recaptured and sold into slavery while being trained like a circus animal. She's emotionally stunted, not a literal child! It's okay to pair her with the younger Shepherds because she's a younger teen! She's explicitly doing what she does to keep morale up, and she says as much to Nah.
Nah: Mother, you need to take this more seriously! We're in the midst of a war!
Nowi: I KNOW, silly. But thinking about it all the time isn't going to help me! The tougher things get, the more I laugh, and that makes everyone laugh, too. I think that's kind of my job here. To keep everyone smiling.
Please, read the supports with Nah. Nowi has some GENUINELY mature moments in it where her real self leaks through, including her worrying Nah is TOO YOUNG to use her Dragonstone.
Nah: I don't want to have fun. I want to get stronger. If I don't, I'll never help win this war or earn my place in this army.
Nowi: Er...
Nah: If I'm not helping people, then what's the point of even having me around? No real human wants to be friends with a half person who can't look after herself.
Nowi: Is that what you're worried about? But I'm here—and I'm a manakete! You don't have to prove something to the humans to be here with us. Manakete, taguel, human—everyone in this army is equal and in it together!
Nah: You truly believe that?
Nowi: I do. And more importantly, you're still very young for a manakete. You can't overuse the dragonstone. It's far too powerful for one of your age.
Nah: It's true that after a day of training I tend to feel terribly weak...
Nowi: I'm going to give it back to you, but I don't want to see you hurting yourself. You must promise me to only use it during actual battle. Do you hear me?
Nah: All right, Mother. I swear to use it more responsibly from now on.
She even outright says her "playing" is how she trains and that she's not very good at thinking and such so she leaves tactics to Chrom and Robin, but she IS good at fighting so she just does what they tell her to. Honestly, I'd argue she's actually much more mature than Ricken can be, she just hides it because she knows she looks young. Hell, she calls herself an adult woman to Henry's face. She's emotionally stunted, sure, and can't always read a room (she scares a bunch of kids off by transforming without warning because she wanted to give them a ride on her back), and she CAN be childish but like. When you actually READ her Supports, you can see she's got some genuine moments where her real personality shines through! THEY JUST NEEDED TO FIX HER PHYSICAL DESIGN!!!!
.
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Y'all asked for it so I'm finally doing it-
🩺 Dr. Greyson Headcanons 🧸
Remember these are just headcanons. Some will be based on canon 'evidence' while others are absolutely pulled from my brain. You don't have to agree with or like them. These are all SFW. I'll absolutely do a NSFW version if there is a desire for it.
Idk how many rounds of these I'll do (probably as many as you guys want bc I'm weak and have many many thoughts about this man pls 🥴)
I've said it before in a couple places, but I 100% believe this man grew up in the country. Like farm life. He's just so chatty, so friendly, so neighborly, and was even down to wrastle that old man who stole the nurses' access card in the Pure White Heart anecdote. He's quick to laugh himself into a fit when he hears something stupid but equally quick to be helpful when someone is in need. This might just be my own experiences talking, but I grew up ON A REAL FARM and this is just soooo how country people are. The vibes are spot on. Plus Greyson is just... such a country name I'm sorry you can't change my mind there.
Because of this, I feel like he's one of those "first of my family to become a X" kind of kids, in this case, a doctor. I even think it's a step further and say it's likely he's the first to receive a doctorate.
Very mechanically minded. Is definitely the type to be able to actually fix things around his house/apartment by himself most of the time. Can do maintenance on his own vehicle but doesn't do anything too big simply to spare his hands (surgeons gotta keep those hands nice and safe!!)
Genuinely prefers working in the children's ward. Grey is such a silly and approachable man, his caring and chatty personality coupled with just how goofy he is makes him a hit with the kiddos. I mean his pfp is an injured teddy bear ffs. This man was made to be in pediatrics and got distracted by cardiology. Kids always laugh at his jokes and think his balloon animal skills are neat, and that's way better than arguing with adult patients.
Learned how to bake from his grandma. I'm talking handmade pie crusts, laminated dough for croissants, freezer jam, tempered chocolate, etc. When he first started at Akso he'd bring in treats as a way to break the ice with some of the other drs. Now, they beg him to make the birthday cakes when the senior staff birthdays come up and he has time.
His apartment is very much a modern take on a cozy farmhouse, spacious view style. Grey starts feeling very cooped up in Linkon, so his apt is a high rise with a lot of floor to ceiling windows to at least help him feel less stuffy and give him a wider view of the city.
Is a terrible dancer. He's totally fine with this and has accepted it. Just don't ask him to dance unless you're also 100% okay with him looking like a fool while you're attached to him.
Holds his liquor very very well. Can absolutely get drunk but it takes a LOT for him to get that drunk and he just doesn't drink to that excess anymore. That was young (HS/pre med) Grey. Almost 30 y.o Grey is too old for that and has work in the morning please spare him.
Has a 10 year old orange tabby cat named Archie (Archibald) that came to Linkon with him from the farm. Archie was too lazy to make it as a farm cat, so Grey took him with him when he left for school and they've been buddies ever since.
Lives for the outdoor life even though he's in a heavily developed city. Takes as many opportunities as he can to camp, fish, hike, walk, run, ANYTHING to get back into nature when he's not at work. Will try and drag his friends and coworkers into it with him sometimes, but other times he prefers it to just be him and Archie on an adventure.
#lnds#love and deepspace#lads#l&ds#love & deepspace#lnds headcanons#lnds greyson#lnds dr greyson#lnds Doctor Greyson#dr. greyson#can you hear my heart 💙⃤#Mother Hen has provided her little chickes with crumbs- for all 7 of you lol#i hope all 7 of you enjoy ♡♡♡
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people dont talk enough about how heartbreaking the marlon betrayal mustve been for clem too,,
this dude saves the life of her and her kid. takes them in has them patched up gives them their first hot meal in who knows how long. gives them a safe place to stay. possibly permanently. confides in her that hes trying to be a good leader but feels like and fears that hes failing. asks her to help him take care of the rest of the group. helps her get over her fear of dogs by asking her to trust him. and things go well. she feels safe. like this place could really finally be the home shes been looking for
but as soon as she finds out what happened to the twins. that marlon planned on giving up her and aj too. she immediately becomes a liability to him and he attempts to kill her for it. locks her in the basement to die by walker. then tries to turn the group against her so he can shoot her instead when the first method fails. and he nearly succeeds
then a majority of the group turn against clem the minute aj kills marlon. ignoring marlons mistakes but condemning aj for his. like clem wasnt betrayed by marlon in the exact same way he betrayed the twins. like she literally wasnt almost killed twice? and how long had he been considering giving her up? was it always some contingency he planned? did he truly want to keep them around and things only changed when he feared the raiders had returned? she'll never know
#i think about this a lot... the betrayal... clems deep trust issues... then they all want to kick her out (except vi aasim and tenn 💕)#when she was just as impacted if not more so than the rest of them. since she was the only one with her Life on the line#thats why violet fighting so hard for them to stay is so important imo and would MEAN SO MUCH to clem too#vi and aasim are the only ones who can see past the bullshit and realize that theyre safer with clem around#while the rest would rather kick her out so they dont have to acknowledge their confused feelings about marlon#like first marlon betrays her then the rest of the group tell her to get fucked and die. dont come back. we never want to see you again#but she does. and she saves them#personally i do think marlon had 'good' intentions but he was a scared and fucked up kid who made bad decisions#and continued to make bad decisions to cover for his previous fuck ups#but that just makes him interesting :)#and i like teaching aj the difference between people like marlon and people like lilly#all of clems 'wow i feel so safe here :) and these guys seem smart :)' personal dialogue around ericsons makes me 😭#she was so happy to be at ericsons. and they turn against her so fast when she was more of a victim than any of them#aj is a literal baby. do not treat him like an adult who can make fully rationalized decisions. hes a baby and he only knows survival#at least they slowly get over it after clem comes back (some take longer than others...)#but the lack of compassion in voting to kick them out is heartbreaking. she was heartbroken#and thats not acknowledged as much as it should be#posting this old drafted post now cuz it expands my feelings on clems broken heartedness about the marlon situation#it speaks#twdg
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Had a fucking bonkers good time at the IAAPA expo today & wound up winning a Tab Lite in a raffle drawing among the mountain of other free goodies I had forced on me by vendors throughout the day.
& like.
Guess it's good I haven't completely given up on the art thing because it looks like I have a brand new tab to be my travel digital sketchbook heck yeahhhh~
#nok talks#fuckin ay tho#going back on thursday & im so PSYCHED#too much to see & do in one day like#damn i feel like a kid in a candy store always lmaooo#& legit#this industry is mostly hard thankless work#but being able to see adults turn into little kids & having a great time#fuck it makes it all woth it#touristy un escapable life style from hell#but also#mAGICCCC#its got its own perks at least lol
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Hello hello! It's me again! (That one Anon who requested Lies with Kazui & Yuno, but I've set up my account now so no need to ask anonymously again lol) Thank you for satisfying my previous request, it was such a delight to read. I keep rereading it every now and then and I'm still always left in awe with it like jesus christ you didn't have to go all in on that im sobbing with the 0207 friendship dynamic.
I've also seen your latest post and drabble asks. I'd like to request from the Drabble List#1 - #5 “Idiots. They are all idiots.” with Es themselves!
Let the prisoners have fun and Es just stares at them nonchalantly, silently judging their idiocy from afar, hell, maybe even let Yuno/Mikoto convince them to join. You can do anything as long as you think it'll fit, they're all just a little silly (minus the fact they're in prison lol).
With all that said, take your time and no rush! I can always wait. Thanks a lot! ...now back to rereading my previous request for the nth time,, i love it so much,, thankyouagain
Ah thank you so much, that means so much!! I'm so glad you liked it, that one was really nice to write :'D And yesss thank you for the request -- this was such a blast to do as well! (though I also made myself emotional over Es' lost childhood, that was less fun ;___;) I debated on several activities within the prison but thought this was plausible and fun for some mid-T1 shenanigans
Es had a job to do. They had many eyes watching them. They had several lives in their hands. They had heavy responsibilities. They didn’t have time for something as silly as ‘video game night’, regardless of the laughter that bubbled up from the common room as they passed by. They were not way tempted to join, regardless of how much fun the group seemed to be having when they peered their head in.
Fuuta had whined that Es had replaced all his requests with completely outdated consoles and games, confirming they had been successful in choosing things without any access to the internet or outside world. Plus, they thought, this gave the older prisoners a fighting chance with some of the games.
Not that they cared whether or not the prisoners had a good time. That wasn’t any concern of theirs. Even in these long periods of rest between their more eventful duties, they must remain focused.
The laughter crescendoed into delighted screaming.
Es figured one more look inside wouldn’t hurt. They were supposed to be keeping an eye on everyone, after all.
The prisoners had gathered various chairs and bedding material, creating makeshift couches. Some piled onto the new seating, some splayed out on the ground, others stood in excitement. The television was so small, the two players needed to lean all the way forward to see.
Mahiru bounced in her seat as Yuno whipped around her remote. Fuuta was demanding Kazui play better, gesturing wildly at the screen. Shidou chucked to himself as the others grew more intense. Haruka kept asking questions about the game, receiving an answer only about half the time.
As the match got closer, Yuno leapt to her feet. She tried to shimmy in front of Kazui and block his view. He stood to prod her out of the way. Muu called foul play, though she said it with a thrill rather than accusation. Fuuta repeated it -- with quite a lot of accusation -- and tried to push Yuno out of the way. Mikoto tried to hold him back, voicing his support of Yuno’s methods.
The others got caught up in the yelling. Amane’s eyes were wide in anticipation. Kotoko pumped her fist as the battle got even closer. The room erupted in movement and shoving and tripping and remote pulling -- until they yanked the tiny television forward.
The thick cord came free, and the screen went black just before a winner was announced. Ten voices chorused their outrage.
Es shook their head. “Idiots. They are all idiots.”
They turned away as the prisoners hurried to set everything up again. They were just about to turn the corner into the panopticon when Yuno’s voice called from behind.
“Hey!” She ran up, taking advantage of their brief pause. “I saw you passing by. Why don’t you come join us?”
Not for the first time, Es wished they had enough height to look down on all the prisoners. “I’m your warden. I’m not some child here to play games with you all.”
She pursed her lips. “I’m not a kid either. But I’m still down for a night to unwind.”
“You’re lucky to have the luxury to relax. I, on the other hand, am busy right now.”
Yuno made a show of looking left, then right, across the empty hallway. “And what exactly are you doing right now?”
“I’m working.”
She frowned. “Uh-huh…”
“I am!” They fumbled for more, coming up blank. They should have known the moment she came skipping over to them that it would be impossible to fool her. There was no need for this routine check of the prison; everyone was gathered in the common room except them. Yuno had known this before uttering a single word.
Her hands fluttered in a dismissive gesture. “Too much work is never good for you. It doesn’t matter how mature you are -- if you get too caught up in your job it’ll drive you to some crazy things.” She smirked. “Just look at Shidou. Or Mikoto!”
“I could look at you…”
Though surprise flickered across her face, she kept grinning. “Exactly! So let’s get you in here.” She tugged on their arm. Prisoners couldn’t physically move Es against their will.
They huffed as they found themselves inching closer and closer to the entryway.
“I suppose I can come and watch,” they muttered, “and still keep an eye on you all.”
“No! No more working!” She managed to get them into the room. “Here, you can take my spot in the next round.”
Kazui looked over. “Who said you were getting the next spot?”
“Oh come on, I was clearly going to win that one.”
“Clearly? I'm pretty sure was seconds away from beating you.”
“Well then, I guess Es can take your spot.”
“Es is playing?” Haruka looked up excitedly.
“I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”
It was as if they hadn’t said anything at all. The others launched into a discussion of who would give their remote to Es? Who would they’d face off against? Were they resetting the bracket they’d begun? Which game would they return to? The ten argued in circles for a while. For a group of murderers, they were insistent on a fair tournament. After breaking up some bickering that could have become physical, Es once again wondered how they ended up watching over a mess like this.
At length the game was chosen, and a rematch was slated for Yuno and Kazui later in the night. To save themself time and sanity, Es went ahead and picked their opponent.
“I’ll play Fuuta.”
He had been the obvious choice: he could supply enough chatter for the both of them, so Es could remain silent. Also, he was guaranteed to win and free them from an obligation to play more than one round. They flashed a look at some of the more observant prisoners, hoping they didn’t tip them off.
However, no one was really watching them too keenly. Mahiru clapped in joy. Yuno beamed. Mikoto shoved a remote into their hands. Haruka started rapidly explaining the rules to them. Shidou directed Es to their seat in the center. Kotoko gave them an encouraging nod. As expected, Fuuta was already deep into trash talk as he sat next to them.
They really were simple-minded people, more focused on this silly game than the fact their warden had just sat amongst them. It was dangerous to let one’s guard down in a place like this, Es reminded themself.
With a little jingle, the match began.
Their fingers flew across the controls. Though they had a rocky start, some sort of muscle memory kicked in. Surely this game had come out before they were born, and there was no way they’d played it regularly. None of that mattered much. Their little avatar was obviously gaining the lead.
Their eyes stayed fixed on the screen as they received slaps on the back and nudges. Their guard's cap was knocked off in the shuffling, but they couldn't risk picking it up. Voices called all around them.
“Aw, don’t just let the kid win!” Mikoto said.
“I’m not!” Fuuta was desperate. “They fucking tricked me! They’re a pro!”
Es felt energy run through their entire body. Their original plan already slipping away, they wondered if they could actually beat Fuuta. It would be fun to see… They leaned forward, holding their breath. The audience continued cheering the pair on. Once again, the room was swept up in shouts.
The match ended. A little banner flashed across the screen to name Es victorious. They jumped up, a small whoop escaping them.
They would’ve melted in shame right then and there, if the sound weren’t already drowned out by the surrounding chaos. The others laughed and shook Es in amazement. Fuuta let out a string of colorful language.
“That was incredible!”
“Holy shit!”
“How’d you do that?”
Es placed the cap back on their head, pulling it over their eyes. “I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. I’m done for the night.” They tried to pass off the remote, but Mikoto pushed it back into their hands.
“Nuh-uh. I want to see this for myself.” He grabbed the other one from a dejected Fuuta. “Same game. Same characters. Lemme see what you’ve got.”
Es wasn’t meant to play one round, much less get caught up in their ridiculous tournament.
Don’t be an idiot, they told themself.
“Bring it on,” they told Mikoto.
#milgram#es#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#mikoto kayano#and everyone else#i always worry it gets too busy with too many characters but i think this works 👍#thank you for all your kind words!!! i feel like a broken record but it really means so much to me --#im so happy youre enjoying these as much as i am >:3#my next one is going to be a bit more serious but it was really fun doing these lighter ones :')#they deserve a night of relaxation and fun! im absolutely obsessed with es' insistence on their duty and solemn attitude#because theyre just a kid! they need a break! theyd get excited and competitive just like anyone else! they should be allowed to!#UGH#i think es and amane are a bit too similar with their struggles with age and being controlled by adults where its harder to get along#but yuno also understands what its like to want to be seen as a responsible mature person despite a younger age#and shed know how best to say things lightly but still meaningfully <3#yeah i thought about them doing sports or cooking or karaoke but this worked the best#haruka and amane dont have much experience with video games but i think theyd catch on quick#shidou has a lot of fun but he sucks ass LMAO#mahiru also isnt great but even if she was doing good shed let everyone else win to make sure their spirits stay up#im a sucker for writing where a character says something over and over and you just know theyre trying to convince themselves 😂#someone tell me to stop rambling in the tags and just make a new post for gods sake asdfsdfds#i hope you enjoy!#im late by now but woo happy getting your account set up 👏 welcome to the hellsite...#drabbles
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(NOT ATSV) my ideal miguel and miles friendship (bordering on enemies) dynamic is where Miles is sort of a Mean Girls figure where he’ll say the worst things to Miguel, who actually has no problems dishing that shit right back out, is usually too fed up or somewhere else mentally to reply. They fight a lot, more physically than verbally, usually in a slapstick comedy type of way. Miles is banned from Nueva York once a month and got a restraining order against Miguel in his own dimension. His parents fucking hate him and Miguel hates them right back. Rio has tried and failed to poison him via food and Jeff is considering hiring a hitman. Gabriel is beloved by them. Miles takes Miguel’s money at least twice a week to go spend it just because he can. Miguel has tried (and succeeded once) to get Miles sick with a future illness because he figured out the lesbian bar Miguel liked to perform at in drag. Miles has cried at least once in every room of Miguel’s apartment and Miguel has been confused on what to do each time besides an awkward hug and pat on the back. People are rightfully worried for Miles’s safety at least 80% of the time but when they aren’t they’re shaking their heads at the two’s antics. They need to be separated until they have a healthy “this is a grown ass man / this is stupid little girl i don’t like at work” relationship and it’ll take an act of god for either of them to realize their current one isn’t healthy at all and has extremely negative impacts on their mental state.
#i wanna write this so badly bc like . this type of relationship with adults as a kid when you can’t 100% trsut them and place your safety +#in their hands is sooo interesting to write esp considering Miguel’s past and what Miles is used to#which is dangerous fights from adults (his villains) but also the loving ones like his parents his neighbors ripeter and peter b etc#and this miguel (imo) wouldn’t hurt miles on purpose because he knows the pain BUT he also doesn’t realize some shit is pain-causing both+#mentally and physically bc yknow some abused kids grow into adults who subconsciously do similar shit#and for Miles and Miguel to finally realize beating the shit out of each other almost constantly and the negative back and forth (if miguel#feels like talking that day) is just. not a good thing#it’s sort of like the way i write pavitr and miles’s relationship regarding their fighting because it’s genuinely helpful but#can seem borderline awful and physically abusive to each other#peter b is so fucking worried sometimes bc he sees Miguel in a completely different way than other people. like he’s off in lala land#like. he’ll see this 15 year old stickbug of a kid fighting his buddy Miguel who has been known to kill#he’ll say some fights tou just can’t win Miles… and Miles is setting Miguel’s apartment on fire#like they have good moments. okay. trust me. but a toxic friendship like the kind you see that people take too seriously from a show like.#idk bluey. or some kids show like that.#spiderverse fans DNI ‼️‼️‼️🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾‼️‼️‼️‼️#not ship never ship don’t even tag is as such bc i’ll just delete the post#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#gabriel o’hara#rio morales#jefferson morales#miguel o’hara#m&m posts
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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