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#they aren't very normal about each other I know
prettyboykatsuki · 2 days
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in an au where sunday is like... semi-normal, i think he gets into a relationship with you one-sidedly.
like. you confess to having a crush on him. and he truthfully doesn't like you at all at in that way at first lmao. he doesn't hate you either though - just indifferently kind and not all that invested. he goes out with you on that kind of whim. gallagher and robin tell him he's a despicable guy for that.
(when gallagher says it, he's laughing. when robin says it, she's very upset which sunday doesn't like. is he really that despicable? it's not like he hates you or is trying to trick you.
you just seem desperate. and it's interesting.)
at first - nothing in your relationship really changes. though you do act more openly embarrassing around him which he finds... sweet. in a way. but it's not that different. he even asks you about why that is and you have such a pathetic reply it makes him pause.
"i'm happy just being with you," and then a little quieter. "i know you don't really like me."
and he's. a little bothered by that. though you haven't said anything untrue. but it. bothers him. he does like you in a way. so he does something about it. little things at first under the guise of just trying to appease you. hand-holding, sitting next to each other. all lovey-dovey. you're reactions are cute. you're very easy he thinks. and it's cute.
after that - he keeps doing it. he doesn't dislike it, and neither do you. but it doesn't really register that maybe there's a little more to it than that. maybe. it doesn't click until something happens.
you're always clinging to him, like an affectionate but stupid pet. so, it bothers him a lot when he sees you with other people. you're always really nervous around other people, so why are you being so nice to that trailblazer. why are you laughing so openly with people other than him? why are you looking or being around someone else so carefreely? you're dating him aren't you? you like him.
and it clicks a little too later, with a little too much pressure that oh. oh he likes you, doesn't he? more now than you do him.
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archangeldyke-all · 7 hours
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Sev with a ver nerdy reader. Very loser vibes with glasses and all. Could you write about how they meet and get together? How their relationship would be and what would other think or do about such a contrast couple?? Xxx love youuuuu
aweee i fucking love this
men and minors dni
singed is a mad genius, you'd never deny that. but mad geniuses tend to get caught up in the whirlwind of their revolutionary thoughts and creations, and they leave behind important things like, you know, numbers. or studies. or a general respect for the scientific method.
so while singed spends his days tinkering in his lab, you spend your days sitting beside him, trying to decipher his discoveries into a language people who aren't mad geniuses can understand.
this is just to say: you're a glorified lab assistant.
you don't know how you caught sevika's eye. you're polar opposites.
sevika fights for a living, she can command a room with a single look, and she's got women swooning for her everywhere she goes. you scribble calculations in a basement for a living, sometimes you and singed are so focused that you don't even speak to each other for days at a time, and you're aware that your glasses, frumpy clothes, and lack of awareness when it comes to style don't exactly make you sexy.
but... somehow, you've enchanted her.
you first met a few months ago, when singed brought you along to a meeting with silco to have you help demonstrate a new varient of shimmer.
typically, singed takes these meetings alone. he likes to keep his science life and his shady dealings as separate as possible-- plus, he knows how nervous you get. but, the new variant required at least two pair of hands to properly prepare, and you were kind of hoping to meet silco's elusive kid-genius foster daughter. singed sings her praises on the daily.
jinx, unfortunately, didn't show up, but sevika did. and you nearly shat yourself, because the woman didn't take her sharp gaze off you for the entire demonstration.
afterwards, when you were packing up in the empty office as singed and silco chatted in the bar downstairs, sevika tracked you down. "hey."
you screamed as you turned around, dropping a vial of shimmer on the ground. she chuckled. "f-fuck sorry." she said, holding her hands up. "didn't mean to sneak up on you."
you pushed your glasses up your nose and just shrugged. "'s okay. i-i'm just jumpy." you whispered.
"you're cute." she'd said.
and then, because you've never been able to be normal about anything in your life, you passed out.
so, the start of your and sevika's relationship was a bit tumultuous. she had to spell it out for you, many times, that she finds you endlessly endearing and adorable.
"during that first meeting. singed read something off his notes but didn't understand, so you explained it to him. just you rambling a bunch of nerd shit, but you made it sound so simple, and you had this sweet sparkle in your eye-- i dunno." she shrugs, then pushes your glasses up your nose for you.
you guys actually balance each other out really well. sevika encourages you to have a bit more of a backbone, you help her see the softer side of things.
she's obsessed with your constant nerdy ramblings. she learns so much from you. she can point to anything and ask you about it, and you'll have an answer.
she'd also never admit it to anyone, but she loves your fantasy books. the nerdier and more complex the better. sometimes, she'll have you read whatever book you're reading outloud, and more times than not, she falls asleep within ten minutes to the sound of your voice.
she's constantly pushing your glasses back up your nose for you. if she notices a smudge, she'll gently take them off your face, clean them with the hem of her shirt, then push them back on your face.
she's obsessed with eating you out while you read or work. she likes to watch you struggle to maintain your focus-- which is usually so laser sharp.
taglist!
@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary @m0numents @macaroni676
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lolahaurisfw · 3 days
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: ̗̀➛ Sebastian: Fluff Alphabet
A/N: Repost from old account.
A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)
He loves that you accept him for who he is. You respect his work, his social boundaries, and you don't try to change him or force him out of his comfort zone.
B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)
Hips and waist! Thick or thin, he just loves holding onto yours hips, or putting his arms around your waist. 
Hugs from behind >>>
C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)
Big spooning you, he loves to hold you like a teddy bear :)
Also loves it when you lay your head on his chest and hold him, or just fully lay on top of him. The pressure is calming.
The best cuddles are when it’s raining. He may love going out in the rain, but he loves cuddling in bed and listening to it hit the window more.
So he’d beg you to take the day off and be lazy with him, probably trying to persuade you with a cup of coco and your favorite sitcom.
D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)
Dancing in the rain with you… omg
Imagine meeting him in the Cindersap forest on a stormy morning.
He pulls you under a patch of trees, distant enough that the rain is still hitting you, but close enough that you aren't getting completely soaked.
He looks (down/up) at you, locking eyes and smiling, his cheeks getting a little pink.
He wraps an arm around your waist and brings your hand into an embrace with his free one. Lacing your fingers together at shoulder level, doing a classic ballroom dance.
You both spend some time just spinning around in the soaked grass, laughing and kissing each other like nothing in the world has ever existed besides the two of you. <3
E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)
Very pessimistic and emotionally reserved at first. He'd let you know if he was upset and why, but he wouldn't really bother trying to talk it out or find a solution.
But the more serious your relationship became, he was willing to open up to you more, see things on the bright side sometimes, let you help him and be his shoulder to cry on.
F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)
I don't think he would, he'd rather focus on you.
And some occasional traveling.
Kids are stressful and cause a lot of anxiety, not something he'd ever find appealing.
G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)
Not his strong suit, or preferred love language, but he’s fine with it.
He’s a minimalist decorator, so for receiving gifts, i think he’d prefer food or items that don’t take a lot of space/have a good use.
Like clothes, video games, nail polish, eyeliner, decorations for his frog vivarium, etc...
H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)
Holding your hand under the pillow while he big-spoons you! >>
He's more of a full on cuddler than just a hand-holder. But yeah, he loves to lace your fingers together while lying in bed.
I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)
Inside he's freaking out BAD and already feeling sick.
But on the outside, he tries to stay normal and calm so he doesn't worry you.
If you're really badly injured, he'll pick you up right away and bring you to Harvey.
Sits by the hospital bed the entire time and holds your hand. <3
J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)
Def not a prankster, I feel like Abi and Sam are the prankster types, so he's grown to be very annoyed with it lol.
He has a more sarcastic, quick wit sense of humor.
K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)
Neck kisses!! He thinks they're really hot, and likes seeing you get flustered by them.
Cheek and lip kisses tie for second. Cute n sweet.
Bunny kisses!!! omg!
L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)
Quality time and acts of service.
Quality time may not sound right because he always talks about how he likes a lot of alone time. But that's exactly why I think it is one of his major love languages.
You two have a deep, special, unique connection. And that translates to him actually wanting to spend lots of time with you, unlike his friends and family.
And acts of service just because it feels like the opposite of words of affirmation (showing vs telling).
And since he's def not much of a talker, he likes to tell you he loves you with actions.
Like: feeding the pets, cleaning up around the house & farm while your gone, grocery shopping or cooking when you're too busy, etc...
M = Memory (favorite memory together?)
The night you met him on the dock while it was raining.
It's an uneventful memory, but it was the day his feelings for you were solidified.
He loves looking back on how intimate the moment was, just talking and joking and getting to know each other more.
N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)
Waking up to divorce papers on the table...
I think it would (obviously) completely destroy him, make him lose any hope on love, leaving the valley, moving from his family...
The last thing he'd ever want to do is to go back to being a depressed introvert who lives in his mothers basement.
O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)
His frog obsession, ofc. 
Totally rambles about frogs and general amphibian facts.
Super cute though.
P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)
Babe, baby, beautiful, ducky, bunny. 
Tadpole (tell me i’m wrong).
Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)
Sitting in his lap while he works! >>
Being lazy around the house and just cuddling n talking to each other.
He LOVES listening to you talk.
His favorite thing though: rides out of town on his motorcycle. Maybe having a picnic on the cliff once you get there!
R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)
Молчат Дома - Клетка
Cigarettes After Sex - Apocalypse 
Cage The Elephant - Come A Little Closer
Galaxie 500 - Strange
Heavy on Молчат Дома tho. If he were 18-25 in the 2020's, he'd soo be a Russian doomer music enjoyer.
S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)
Completely open, I don't think he'd really have any secrets anyway?
He trusts you completely.
T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)
That completely depends on you. He would genuinely be too nervous to ever tell you if he had a crush on you.
He’d drop hints, and you could probably easily tell by his body language and attitude change when you’re around, but he’d never be too bold or say it outright just incase you didn’t like him. 
Kinda unrelated but your dynamic would def be “you fell first, he fell harder.”
U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)
A little awkward at first, but he tries his best. He gets better at knowing how to comfort you the longer you’re together. 
V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)
His programming talents! He loves telling you about it.
W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)
He's a little nervous about you going in the mines and fighting, but he trusts that you know what you're doing.
He probably wouldn't fight with you though. (unless it was to save you ofc)
He just doesn't have it in him to kill something.
X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)
Actually very well.
Since he's more a listener and observer, he's obviously picked up quickly on how to read you.
Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)
Absolutely takes you to the cliff where you shared your first kiss.
Takes you completely by surprise too, drops exactly 0 hints beforehand that he was about to propose.
Definitely cries when you say yes ahhhh!!
Picks you up and spins you around while kissing you all over.
Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)
Night walks, watching his frogs in their vivarium, running errands in the morning, a cigarette after a stressful day, Friday nights at the saloon with Sam & Abi, listening to the radio while he works, sitting alone at the end of the dock, motorcycle rides, daydreaming before bed, morning showers with you, cuddling while a record or tv show plays in the background.
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spikybanana · 1 year
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thursday (friday?) snippet
@wanderingdonut tysm for the tag!! <3<3
for the record, I've lost the plot of this fic months ago. but hey! I've indulged in A Trope so here's an (unedited) snippet!
-----
Patronus. A magical guardian conjured out of an impression of what anchors the most profound parts of ourselves and what constitutes the substance of our very identity. In other words, one’s deepest, happiest memories.
Sirius blushes, because it’s sickeningly obvious what he would need to think of. It takes a few tries, his bare hands not always cooperating with the precise movements designed for tips of a wand, but he eventually gets it. A few puffs of white mist later, he closes his eyes and re-summons the brightest sight of Remus he can think of. The thousand shades between his eyes and his smile, the sound of his laughter, rare and ringing in the depth of the forest. His own lips pull up when he feels a bright, certain warmth gather in his chest, and upon murmuring the incantation with sharp twists of his wrist, the incandescent thing bursts forth, lighting up the small bedroom in twilight.  
Only, he realises too late that he isn’t alone. Remus is by the door, back pressed to the wall and watching. Sirius has been so focused, he didn’t even notice Remus enter the room. 
“How much did you see?” He wants to frown, but the warmth of the four-legged regal creature prevents even that.
Remus doesn’t answer. It’s not like he needs to see much more than the glowing figure of the wolf. And the raw look in his eyes says clear as day that he’s seen more than enough. 
Between some moment and another, they meet each other in the middle, the kiss breathless and bruising and Sirius feels like Remus is trying to take a bite at the meat of his soul, because surely, this feeling is too big, too intense for words. But he leans his head back and bares his neck anyway, and Remus follows the motion immediately, mouth dipping past his jaw, panting against his pulse point. 
There, he pauses, and lets out a choked noise.
“I can be all of you, Sirius.” He whispers.
“Oh?” Sirius forces his tone to be light, feigning aloofness, even though the words make it feel like his heart is dropping through his stomach. Suddenly, he feels indignant, and challenges boldly, in the same whisper, “Am I not the same for you, then?”
Remus freezes, “That’s not the same, Sirius.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t— possibly explain to you—” 
Remus’ arms are still wound tight around Sirius’ waist, his fingers tightening, digging into skin.
Sirius lets out the next breath slowly. He works his jaws, breathing in through his teeth as if it could dilute the scent of Remus in his skull. One day, all that Remus cannot explain is going to crush them. But if Remus wants to break them both into a thousand pieces to be sprayed onto the forest ground, Sirius thinks, then so be it, he would still gladly follow. Perhaps even for good reason.
He squeezes the hand on the back of Remus’ neck, pulls him back until their eyes lock. He tilts his head, and asks, “What’s your patronus, then?” 
Remus’ expression is helpless when he admits. 
“It’s you, of course.”
-----
open tag!!!
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fromtheseventhhell · 16 days
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Every time I see people talk about Sansa and Arya's relationship as "just sisters being sisters" I think about that one girl on TikTok who was basically stalking her sister who went no-contact and kept responding to comments criticizing her with "it's just a sister thing, you wouldn't get it". Like! Being shitty to someone isn't okay just cause you're related to them. Personally thinking a certain behavior is normal/harmless does not mean the person affected by it feels the same way! Arya being mocked and having self-esteem issues is referenced often throughout the story, all the way into ADwD. How people read that (jk I know you guys don't actually read her chapters) and think their issues will magically disappear is beyond me. "Stark sisters lover" but the only time you talk about them is when you're centering Sansa and her feelings 🤨
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acaiyatree · 10 months
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people saying that it's ridiculous for sonadow fans to be "eating good" from the sonic prime ep bc most of the ep was them beating up e/o just don't get it. where do you think the appeal is coming from ?
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angeltism · 16 days
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"spar.kle is fictional who cares" I have seen people praising her for her racist anti-romani comments what the fuck kind of world do you live in
#➳ the fool speaks#fuuuck man i don't think fiction and reality will influence each other 1=1 but characters being weirdos or bigots and it not being#criticized for it makes those kinds of people who Very Much Already Exist IRL think they're in the fucking right. they aren't.#i don't think someone getting spar.kle in hsr is going to turn them into a fucking racist but her being Like That and looking cute#and being playable and not getting called the fuck out in game makes people who ARE racists have a cutesy girl to idolize and support and#use as a way to say shit without getting in trouble because ''ermmm I'm not the one who wrote her!! i just think she's really funny!! she's#not real anyways why are you mad!!''#like my god shut UP#again like. pulling for her or thinking she's cute doesn't mean you want all roma dead. that. that isn't how that works#but if you think of hoyo's writing of her is good and funny and not problematic at all I'd LOVE to know what you think about#how real life roma r treated to this day. like genuinely let's have a little chat. I'm sure you have normal not-racist opinions#and do not use the g slur and do not defend it and tootally don't view roma just as all the bad stereotypes right !!!!#*ok actually pulling for her kinda. shows support to hoyo for whatever weird ass decision someone on their team made#to go ''ah yes let's add racism but make it a cute girl and make it 'funny' this'll get us so much money''#and if you spent on her banner. look idk what to say. shame? yeah shame. hoyo in general is not a company that deserves your money there#are better things to spend your cash on. like literally look at how they treated sum.eru and they made the guy inspired by roma WHITE ???#generally. not something I would advise spending on. but like ok especially on the racist character y'know#anyways.
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sparkles-oflight · 1 year
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Diego to Lila: I'm the daddy here
Me: Yes, yes you are
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Apparently, my poor little meow meow of the moment is centuries dead Catholic plotter Thomas Percy.
Thanks, Oliver Savile.
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3hks · 2 months
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Substitutes For "Dead Parents"
Okay you guys! I mentioned this in a past post, but when it comes to family, some of ya'll are just... not creative. And don't get me wrong, having deceased parents is deep, dark, and hard, but at this point, a lot of readers simply overlook that because it's just that common. Not to mention, a lot of you guys aren't doing nearly enough with that information! So, for this post, I'll give some new examples relating to "family struggles!"
>> Neglect: Neglectful parents often don't give their child enough attention, time, or care. They don't always hate their kid; quite the opposite, really, they can still love their offspring and are simply unaware that they are being neglectful. This happens for a multitude of reasons: all their attention is focused on a different child, they're busy, or they're just uninterested in their kid's activities.
>> Abuse: Abuse is rather straightforward; it can be physical, mental, or even both. Even if it's only physical abuse, it can heavily damage the child's mental health and make them question their self-worth.
>> Fighting: I think that a lot of us have endured our parents fighting, and I'm fully confident that none of us enjoyed it. It's incredibly difficult for a kid to listen to their parents fight without knowing how to stop it, being stuck in the middle, and even worse, being the center of the argument. As it escalates, the child may even feel neglected, because their parents are only focused on each other.
>> Absence: Like neglect, these parents don't devote nearly enough attention and time to their child. However, this is because they are hardly present in the household to begin with. Normally, it's their career that keeps them away, leaving their kid to raise themselves.
>> Controlling: Oftentimes, controlling parents are found in, believe it or not, more successful households. Kids who have parents that own a successful business or are powerful in general are sometimes raised to follow those footsteps regardless if they want to or not. If they don't want to, as a result, they are kept on a tight leash. Controlling parents can also be found in stricter households.
>> Toxicity: Toxicity, a form of emotional abuse, can come in many forms, gaslighting, demeaning words, constant criticism, comparison, etc. Frequently, the child is unaware that their parents are being toxic until a third party points it out to them. This is because they've only known their parents acting in toxic manners; thus, it becomes their norm. However, it's also entirely possible for the parent to be oblivious to the fact that they're being toxic.
>> Distant: Being distant doesn't always have to be because of some crazy reason; they might've been a very happy and close family once, but as time passes on, they just simply start drifting in their separate ways. It's not the same as neglect or an absence; the child is usually able to adjust to it easier, and it might've even been their choice to be distanced from their parents.
>> Child Responsibility: This is a scenario where the kid acts more like a parental figure--they have to take care of both themselves and their family. In some situations, they also have to work in order to supply their family with enough money to be able to pay for life necessities. This normally happens when a/the parent(s) are out of commission and struggle to provide for their family. If the household is poor, the child might be working alongside their parents in an attempt to make their lives easier.
Did I miss anything? Let me know what you guys think about these substitutes!
Happy writing~
3hks :D
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boowritess · 14 days
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very mild 18+ simon riley x reader
lmaoo i can't breathe Simon Riley is just a man.
atleast to you.
when he's home, all he is to you is dry humor, a couple beers every night, sat in front of the tv on his spot on the couch, the game is playing - some soccor or rugby match. he doesn't wear his mask, his clothes are a simple t-shirt and some pair of shorts he just threw on.
he uses your shampoo and conditioner, as much as it pisses you off because it's expensive and for some reason he uses half the fucking bottle everytime he's home, but when he does the groceries he still comes home with '2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner' he would’ve got the '3 in 1' but the last time he did that he got no head for 3 weeks.
he'll go to the pub, take you out, pushes the trolley, holds your bag, let's you dress how you want it, belly gets a little soft because he eats food like he's never ate before, buy you anything you want even after the 'do you really need it though?' talk.
he's bit lazy on workouts only goes on the occasional run, but will fuck you whenever you want; always vanilla and only gets rough when you ask.
he will say he'll fix whatever appliance needs tending too but won't do it right away, starts the occasional handyman job at odd times.
it's just - he's so mundane and normal that you'd never know just how dangerous he is ???? like he so carefully hides that side from you. seriously. when he's home, he throws his gear in the bottom of his closet in a box, locking Ghost away and just existing as Simon.
even when the rest of the task force come around on the occasion. they're so normal and are just... men. yelling at the tv during a sport match. teasing each other. stealing snacks and helping with cleaning. they never speak about work and when you ask them, it's always a smile and shrug, "just another day really." "little boring and slow." "oh not too bad." their answers are so half-assed, that you don't even ask anymore; which is what they want.
but you really aren't missing anything. not when you don't even know what you're missing out on.
it's crazy, because he even keeps Ghost hidden when you're being harassed by men. whether that be when you're shopping or just going for a walk.
he'll loop an arm around your waist or over your shoulder, look at the guy with a grin - that's more of a sneer, "can i help you, mate?" he'll drawl. his stature and stare is enough to make the man who had been harassing you back off.
"what a freak..." you mutter with a roll of your eyes, letting Simon guide you away as he presses a kiss to your temple, a deep chuckle leaving him.
around midnight you wake up to Simon in the laundry room washing his hands. he doesn't blink or hesitate when you wonder in and wrap your arms around his waist. "what're you doing?" you mumble, sleepy eyss dropping to the sink.
Simon's hands are red, and you would be alarmed, should be alarmed. but how could you when Simon hums softly, a sound that rumbles deep from his throat, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head. he's so warm and casual that you don't even do a touble take seeing the blood.
"caught a rat. right pest they are. the trap i set snapped it clean in half." Simon's mutters, he raises a bloodied hand to you, sniggering when you crinkle your nose up in disgust and step away from him.
"ew, i'm going back to bed." you huff, yawning and leaving him to what he was doing.
Simon laughs softly as you head off. "just be a sec, love." he says as you go. all he receives is a yawn and a tired 'mhm'.
he cleans his hands and then his phone chimes. he pulls it out and it's a private message.
'getting rid of your pest now, LT.'
image attached
Simon opens the picture and sure enough there's the man from earlier in the boot of a car. all bloodied like Ghost left him.
Simon heads back upstairs to your shared room, you quietly snoozing away. you don't steer or wake as the closet door opens and Simon's putting his mask back in with his gear. No. Ghost is too quiet to let you wake from such a warm and sweet sleep.
he turns from the closet after putting everything away and changing clothes. he crawls into his side of the bed and wraps his arms around you. letting your body nestle back into his side. limbs tangling together.
just you and your simon.
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a/n: inspired by a tik tok video on how he is just a man lmaooo
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theminecraftbee · 9 days
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The moon has fully set over the horizon. The howling over the server has stopped. Four Hermits sit in a circle, staring just slightly away from each other, as to not be caught staring. Joe is miserably trying to wring mud out of his puppet. Stress isn't bothering about the mud at all but is despairing at how shredded her jumper is. Somehow, Zedaph has only lost a shoe, which is more concerning than any of the prior people. Xisuma is deliberately not checking himself. The damning lack of helmet on his head, though, means he can't avoid feeling how he underwent the same terrible transformation as everyone else.
"So," he says, finally.
"I could use pants," Joe says, finally giving up on washing out his puppet, and, ah. Yes. Those are pretty well destroyed, aren't they? Xisuma looks away politely, feeling his face heat up. It heats up more when he realizes everyone can see it, gosh, he's–he's not so sure how he feels about that–
"I think we all need pants. Look at us," Stress says, and if Xisuma can be looking away any harder, he sure is now. Wait, she said 'all', does that include... Oh, oh dear.
"Well I don't know about you, but I still have perfectly serviceable pants," Zedaph says imperiously.
"You know, if anything, that's weirder, given the way we were all giant wolves traipsing around in the night just now. Which is strange itself! However, wolves don't normally wear pants, so really, the fact the only article of clothing you've lost is your shoes is less miraculous and more actively impossible!" Joe responds.
"Well you're actively impossible," mutters Zedaph.
"My god, it was real," Xisuma says.
"Well, I mean, I sort of figured it had to be, what with the four of us being all covered in mud and tired and your helmet being gone and all that," Stress says.
"It was real," Xisuma says.
The four of them sit in silence a little longer. The sun continues its steady march upwards into the sky. It's April; the day is longer than the night, by now, so they aren't wasting but so much time compared to the time the moon was up. The time the moon was up feels a bit more like a dream than anything else, too; distantly, Xisuma wonders if this is what spiders feel like when they become angry during the night, or what drives the undead from the ground. It's a disquieting thought, and he'd literally lived in a skeleton!
"So," Joe says. "So. Which one of us is going to yell at Zedaph for biting us?"
"Rude!" Zedaph says. "Very rude, I'm not the one that bit you! You bit me! Xisuma bit me, actually, you all saw him!"
"What? No, I didn't!" Xisuma says. "Gosh, if I were a werewolf, don't you think you'd know by now?"
"Hm. Suspicious," Zedaph says.
"No?" Xisuma says.
"I mean, I'd try to claim it was my fault, what with being a monster and all, but I'm actually a different sort of beastie normally," Stress says. "Being all doggy is new for me. I should show Iskall. Hey, do you think I should bite Iskall?"
"Yes," Zedaph says.
"No," Xisuma says.
"I'll split the difference and say maybe," Joe says. "Also, since we're arguing about it anyway, I'll say that I think I'd remember if I bit someone, although maybe I wouldn't. It's been a weird night. Maybe I should just go ahead and get everyone apology gifts instead?"
"Please don't," Zedaph says.
"Aww, but I like his gifts," Stress says.
"Honestly, yeah, I was–no, Zedaph is right, it'd be too distracting," Xisuma says, thinking of many of the, er, gifts he's gotten from Joe in the past. "Besides, it's not your fault. But if none of us bit anyone, then why on earth are we all werewolves no–oh no."
"That was ominous?" Joe says.
"Oh. Ohhhhhh," Zedaph says. "Whoops."
"It was supposed to be a joke about investment bankers," Xisuma says.
"Wait, what, do you really think the silly name turned us into werewolves?" Stress says.
"I had other season plans, Xisuma!" Joe says.
"Hey, does that make me a sheep in wolf's clothing that's also a wolf that turns into a sheep that turns into a wolf? If so, neat," Zedaph says.
"Do you know how annoying it will be to get a werewolf puppet?" Joe says.
"Gosh, I absolutely have to bite Iskall now," Stress says.
Xisuma, for a moment, considers putting a stop to it. If it really is the silly name, the collective, the hats and the howls–if it really is the collective weight of story bearing down on all of them–then really, it's still so early that it would be very easy to stop.
Xisuma considers the competition the rest of the shopping district poses, and how easy it will be to move as a collective when they're also a pack.
Also, he hasn't actually been a wolf before. That's one mob he hasn't done!
"You should bite Iskall. I want to know what it does," Xisuma says, deciding that he's quite bored with being responsible and that if someone wants to stop it, it will have to be not him. "But, er, first, in the meantime, do you think he or Doc is better to ask for a helmet that'll grow to fit my muzzle instead of nearly trapping my skull?"
"Hm," Stress says. "Well, Iskall is pretty good at head electronics."
"Yeah, but Doc is a better choice for abominations against nature!" Joe says.
"What about me? I like abominations," Zedaph says.
"It's okay, Zedaph, it's just you don't make many helmets, is all," Xisuma says. "We'll run around being abominations of nature, gosh, most full moons together. Is that good enough?"
"Fine," Zedaph says. "I'm bringing the snacks. I have sheep, and I've always wanted to try cannibalism."
"I guess werewolves wouldn't have to worry about prions," Joe says, nodding.
"Well, if you're going to get Doc, I'm going to go bite Iskall. I know I don't got fangs right now but it'll be very funny either way," Stress says.
"Have fun!" Xisuma says, and even though he's still red, and no one has pants but Zedaph, and he feels vaguely sick without his helmet, he also feels something close to pure delight. Gosh. Werewolves, huh? What a concept, having a little pack. He'll have to make the most of it; they've already seen his face anyway, and not one of them have commented or looked him in the eyes. Clearly, it won't matter so much if Doc takes a while with the helmet.
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luveline · 6 months
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hi miss jade <3 if it hasn’t been done already, could you possibly write poly!marauders with a depressed reader? maybe she’s having a particularly hard time lately and she’s trying to hide it from them but they notice she’s been really quiet recently. then one day while they’re all just sitting together, one of them looks over and sees a tear rolling down her cheek and they comfort her </3 if this isn’t something you’re up to writing i understand! thank you nonetheless lovely <3
thank u for ur request lovely!
modern au 
“No,” Remus is whispering, “that's the other actor.” 
James leans into his side. You've successfully crammed yourselves onto the three seater sofa, all four of you. You're on one arm, Sirius the other. If Sirius and James sit together during a movie they won't stop talking, and if you and Remus sit together you'll spend the entire movie telling each other what other movies the actors have been in. 
James and Remus seem to have found a loophole. Sirius tries uselessly to reach over their shoulders to touch you, but James blocks him by accident, head tilting back in a laugh. 
You aren't in the mood for movies. Not their fault, not anyone's, but a melancholy has its hooks in you, and you'd excuse yourself to spend time alone with it if it didn't immediately draw their attention. You're not sure you want to be alone, either. 
James reaches for your hand even as he speaks to Remus excitedly, “He's Ryan Gosling, right?” 
“Yeah, James,” —said with love— “that's Ryan Gosling.” 
You hold James' hand. It's a very real, very gentle tether, but eventually the noise in the room turns white. You lay your cheek on the sofa arm and watch the movie pass by in colours. Dusky orange, pink, blue rain. Your hard times recently have felt longer, deeper, and you've floundered in them helplessly. 
Though the boys couldn't make it worse, their devotion tends to hurt. You feel like you're letting them down whenever you can't fight your lethargy. Even now when you're together for a normal night, you're stuck under the weight of it. You could be playing with James’ hair the way he loves, or telling Remus something interesting about the movie. You could crawl across the two chatterboxes and ask Sirius what he did at work today while he draws shapes into the back of your hand. But you're not. And everything begins to feel worse. 
The TV flickers. The room hums. The tear that slides down your cheek is hot as the drag of a pin. 
You shift down into the arm to hide it as more follow. James pulls his hand away, and you assume he's just getting comfortable, but he puts it on your shoulder, the sofa whining as he leans in. “Hey…” he whispers, nearly too soft to hear. He must've been watching you. They've been doing that more and more lately. 
Your shoulders shake as the first sob brews. They aren't overly loud, you aren't wound tightly enough to really cry, you're just defeated. Tired and scared that this feeling is forever. 
The contented atmosphere in the room drains quicker than snapped fingers. “What's wrong?” Sirius asks. 
You curl away from James. You can't pretend you aren't crying and you don't really want to, but something about his touch feels raw. He comes closer, leaning into you, hand chasing around to your front where it rests over your heart. “It's okay,” he says soundly. “Oh, honey, it's okay.” 
James isn't as heavy with the pet names as the other two. When he does use them, they're genuine but said in high spirits. Almost like a joke, his ever-present humour shining through. He's warm and steady behind you, his lips brushing your ear as he hugs you to his chest. “It's okay,” he whispers, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. 
“Sorry.” 
Remus says your name unhappily. They know better than to converge on you, and James has always been good at comforting people. Maybe his solidness in both physicality and personality does him credit, but more likely it's his unending patience. He doesn't rush you into feeling better. He just stays right there at your side until you stop shaking. 
“Sorry,” you say again, voice in fractured layers, “I don't know…” 
“I know,” he says. “Let's sit up, okay? Sit up.”
Remus gives you a look with just enough heartbreak that when he holds out his hand, you raise yourself up, knowing James will take you by the waist and help you over his lap. You smush in between their legs as Remus wipes your face dry, and Sirius meets your eyes around his shoulder. It all works to lift the weight from your chest, not fully, but enough to breathe. 
“You don't have to explain.” 
“Just don't cry more,” Sirius begs. He really hates tears, doesn't know what to do with them. “You're too lovely for tears.” 
“Unless you need to,” James says. 
“Right,” Sirius agrees through a wince. 
“She's okay,” Remus says, rubbing your cheek with his knuckles, “hmm? You're alright.” 
He isn't pressuring you into pretending things are better than they are, he's encouraging, and he knows as you know that you're not very well, but you'll manage in the end. You sink back into James arms and smile at them weakly. 
“I'm okay. I just wanted James to rub my stomach, that's all.” 
“Theatrics in the name of attention,” Sirius says proudly. “As you should.” 
James wraps his arms around your front, giving your abdomen a squeeze as he leans down to say, “I'll rub your stomach all night if you want me to,” with a warmth so tender it escapes words. 
Remus drops back into Sirius rather aggressively. “Make haste.” 
“Make haste?” Sirius presses his nose into Remus’ curls, his voice dripping with a feigned contempt, “You make haste, you sick freak.” And then he raises his hand to cover Remus' stomach in mirror of James’ touch. 
You breathe out long and slow, eyes closing of their own accord. “I'm not going to sleep, okay? I'm just tired.” 
James gets comfortable underneath you. “Do what you want, babe. I'm here for the night. If I need to pee I'll just hoist you into Moony's lap for a bit.” 
“I can fit two, thanks,” Sirius interjects. 
“Fine. I'll hoist you into his lap. Though I've no clue why you'd want to spend any time with that bossy bastard.” 
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bluberryfields · 8 months
Text
This is what happens when you're raised by TV and trained in literary analysis
Beyond the crushing heartbreak of that finale, one thing in particular has stuck with me when I look at it in the context of S2 as a whole.
He lays out their relationship, "We're a team, a group. A group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't."
He then turns his head away and says, "I mean, the last few years, not really."
He pauses here, facing the interior of the bookshop. Really looks it up and down.
Turns back, "And I would like to spend" before choking on his words and looks toward the window. He can't finish saying something like "And I would like to spend eternity with you" because that's too much, too fast, for both of them.
But it's that "last few years" bit that has firmly lodged itself in my very broken brain.
According to Gaiman, it's been "a few years" since the end of Season 1. Armageddon has been averted. Heaven and Hell have reluctantly retreated. Crowley and Aziraphale have been effectively cut loose from their "sides," leaving them to form their own side.
So at the start of Season 2, we get a glimpse of the “fragile existence” they have carved out for themselves. To me, the biggest difference that we see is how they exist together in front of others. Going to the coffee shop, the pub, and the other shops along the street that Aziraphale has lived on for over 200 years. And don’t forget how they act in front of Nina, Maggie, and sweet, dim Muriel.
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At the coffee shop, Aziraphale stammers a bit when Nina asks who Crowley is, but he still seems to have affection in his voice when he says, "We go back a long time."
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Compared to Shakespearian "He's not my friend! We've never met before. We don't know each other!" panic, this is an incredible difference.
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Of course, each time, Crowley is cool and cheeky and does nothing to indicate that they aren't a pair. Though, of course, he does deny it when Nina asks about Aziraphale being his side piece. “He’s not my bit on the side! He’s far too pure of heart to be anyone’s bit on the side.” And refers to him as an “Angel [swallows]I know.”
When they go the pub, Crowley's joy at doing something together in public that they do not normally do is super cute, including his cheeky order for Aziraphale's sherry. Then, when bringing the drinks over to the socially trapped Aziraphale, he greets Mr. Brown with a truly adorable, "Hello" and a signature DT smile. Then upon hearing how “excited” Mr. Fell is to host the meeting, he looks down and says, “Oh? You astonish me.” while Aziraphale sips his sherry and squirms.
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We also watch as Crowley follows Aziraphale as he goes to each shop and talks to the owners about the meeting/secret ball. In theory, Crowley has no reason to tag along, and he certainly doesn’t help sway anyone who doesn’t want to/can’t go. He goofs around at the magic shop. He splays out on the bench, chin on hand, looking for all the world a husband waiting for his wife to pick out a dress at the department store. They are so married it’s ridiculous.
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Finally, their behavior in front of Muriel while inside their sanctuary. Crowley sits on the arm of Aziraphale’s chair, somehow looking supremely comfortable on the old-fashioned furniture. He folds up those gloriously long limbs and presses himself as close as possible.
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He smiles and plays along with Aziraphale’s coaching of Muriel in her disguise. Calls him Angel and asks to speak in private. And at the end, during the awful wait while Aziraphale talks with The Metatron, Crowley cleans up the shop and tells Muriel that he and Aziraphale will need some “us” time after all this. No beating around the bush. 
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Without oversight, they can be openly together and happy. But Heaven just can’t let that happen. 
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c-o-t-o · 3 months
Text
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Veiled Whispers - Xavier (Part 1)
(Part 2 here)
Author: c-o-t-o
Character: Xavier x fem reader
CW: 18+ only, sexual content/smut, explicit language, drunkenness, dubcon, teasing, light bdsm (some CWs apply to other parts)
Misc: ~1k words, Part 1. This fic is supposed to take off where the 5 star memory ends with Xavier
About: After Xavier tends to your injury and sees you're still drunk, you start feeling him up. Realizing what it is you want, Xavier decides to indulge in you, finally showing you how he feels.
*Do not remove info or credit from posts when reblogging or sharing!*
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“We can't delay the sunrise, but… we can make the night a little darker.” Xavier's lips whisper into the skin of your bare shoulder.
You had been up so late to begin with, that going back to his place, the sun was already starting to rise. Xavier closes the blinds, plummeting the room back into near darkness, save for a few very dim lights. Xavier made sure he could make his room very dark for when he was exhausted and needed to sleep in the daytime. It really did feel like it was still the middle of the night.
By now you've sobered up just enough to make sense of everything going on. You were still tipsy though, how could you not be? After all of those drinks you shared with Xavier outside while watching the Valentine's Day lights, it's only natural for you to still be pretty drunk. But at least you're not blacking out anymore. You're… in a good place.
Still sitting on the edge of Xavier's bed, your eyes follow him from the windows as he walks around to the other side of his bed. He pulls the untied tie off his neck and lets it fall to the floor. Slowly crawling onto his bed on his hands and knees, he pulls you back to lay down. The sudden movement makes you a little dizzy, but it quickly subsides. When your eyes refocus, Xavier is kneeling above you, hands pressed into the bed on both sides of your head. His shirt is still completely open.
“Xavier… what-” is all you manage to say before he puts a finger to your mouth to shush you. With his face just above yours, you see his eyes so clearly, even in the dimness. His gaze, normally soft and sleepy, is now filled with determination and hazy lust. And although it almost hurts to be looked at so deeply by him, you can't bring yourself to look away. With your limited view you notice, however, blush spreading beneath his eyes and across the bridge of his nose. Seeing him blush makes your heart start racing in your chest because you begin to wonder, ‘why is he blushing?’
Your hand grazes his cheek, thumb rubbing the blush on his skin.
“You're drunk too, aren't you, Xavier? Your face is so red…” your voice trails off when you take notice of how soft, yet hot, his face has become.
“I'm not drunk…” he softly whispers, eyes averting your gaze. He slowly looks back at you, sighing, and cupping his hand over yours on his face. "Hmm. I might be, a little bit.”
Xavier closes his eyes and turns his face to kiss the inside of your hand. He pulls your arm up and begins leaving a trail of kisses from your hand, down your wrist, to your arm. You can hear his short, breathy exhales between each kiss.
Before you know it, Xavier has turned you over onto your stomach, face buried into his pillow. He kneels above you, hands gently resting on your back to keep you from turning back around.
“What are you doing?" You turn your face out of the pillow to ask. At the same time you notice just how soft and plush his pillow is. You can smell his hair and gentle cologne on it, and it gives you goosebumps.
“I've asked you many times if you were worried about me getting back at you one day.” he whispers calmly, seductively. “You're always the one touching me, so why…” his voice trails off almost sadly while he drags the back of his fingers down your cheek. “Why is it that only you get to touch me? To tease me…” his blush reddens after mentioning that. "Aren't you worried I'll get you back? When you're not looking… when your back is turned… just like you've always done to me.”
You feel Xavier gently move your hair away from your shoulder, then suddenly, his warm lips on the back of your neck. He exhales on your skin, raising goosebumps in its path. His kisses are soft and plush against your skin, slowly going from the back of your neck down towards your shoulder. Taking his time with each and every kiss as if he's trying to memorize the feeling every time. The sensation makes your head cringe with pleasure, and you can't help but to moan out loud into his pillow. The sound is muffled, but loud enough to let him know that it feels good to you.
“All I want is to be able to touch you," he murmurs quietly into your ear. “To kiss you," he says as he kisses behind your ear. “To make you feel good." Xavier lets out a low moan in your ear as he exhales on it.
All the while, unbeknownst to you since your head was spinning with pleasure, Xavier slipped the straps of your dress off your shoulders, exposing your back. He already unhooked your bra, and was tracing shapes lightly with his fingertips on your skin. You feel your skin raise at the feeling. Noticing that, Xavier presses his warm hands into your back, almost massaging your shoulders.
As gently as he can, he helps you sit up on your knees. Xavier is still behind you, kneeling, chin resting in the crook of your neck.
“You're so beautiful." He exhales as his hands glide around to your front. The top of your dress has already fallen down to your waist, breasts exposed. Xavier’s big, warm hands move around to the front of you and cups them. You glance down and see his strong hands ever so gently fondling your breasts. Every time his hands glide up to the top of them, you see the veins in his hands from his muscles tensing underneath. He handled you so delicately as if you were something to be cherished. Xavier waited so long to be able to express his love for you, and by god, he was going to do it tonight.
“I hope you're ready for what's next, my love.” Xavier nuzzles your cheek with his face while still holding your chest. “I'll make you feel so good that you'll see stars."
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coucouatoi · 3 months
Text
don't want to be alone | h.s.
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Pairings: Harry Styles x Reader
Summary: Divorcing the biggest superstar on the planet is the hardest thing you've ever done. Almost as hard as marrying him was.
Warnings: Angst, couples therapy, a little bit of fluff, hopeful ending
A/N: I don't know why I'm feeling so full of angst... but, please enjoy!
Flashback are in italic and present day is normal text
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Boxes are littered around the house. Some full and taped shut others still being stuffed with your items. It's a slow and torturous process, having to choose what to take, what to throw out and what things are a conversation waiting to happen "That's a wedding gift from my aunt" or "When have you ever used that?" or even better "I know it was a gift, but I paid for it so i'll keep it". It's like he knows exactly which buttons to press to get the fights started. Granted you might be doing the same thing... But it doesn't make him entitled to all the belongings you've ever shared.
You've managed to find all the picture albums, the ones you decided to make for sentimental value. The ones you gifted him in tender moments. The ones filled with so much love, so much hope and promises for a future together. The ones you're now highly considering throwing into a paper shredder and tossing into the nearest incinerator. The ones you won't be able to get rid of. The anniversary album you gave him on your one year, the wedding album, the honeymoon album, the many travel albums and, of course, your daughter's first album.
Little Anya, barely 9 months old just starting to babble her first words. Chubby legs working so hard to keep her standing and exploring. She can barely take 3 steps one after the other but she's a fighter. Your little girl that is now a cause for argument, no, fights. Custody battles. The true war between yourself and your husband, Harry Styles. Neither of you want to lose or call for a tie, it's not how either of you operate in conflict. That, most likely, is the reason for the downfall of your relationship.
Frustrated you put the albums back where you found them and you head to the kitchen.
Most kitchen items have been packed up, Harry had never really invested in worthwhile cutlery or electronics of any sort. You take some orange juice from the fridge and pour a glass for yourself. The fridge itself is barren, with only the essentials left... neither of you has gone to the groceries in weeks. Today is not going to be a good day.
From the rediscovery of your love-filled albums to the boxes you've spent most of the day doing, you still have one horrible thing to do.
Couples therapy, your first-ever session. You thought, well still think, that this is too far gone to save in therapy. There won't be anything new shared that you haven't already screamed in each other's faces and self-help talks aren't exactly going to do the trick. Anne, Harry's mother, insisted that your marriage doesn't only include two people anymore. Anya makes it worth trying, she is worthy of a stable home as she grows up. No matter how unstable having a superstar parent may be, divorced parents might just add to that an unruly amount. So, you've both agreed to try. Try your very best to reassemble your love no matter how shattered it has become. Love. Love hasn't manifested itself once since about your seventh month of pregnancy. Love has vanished from your husband's once warm and inviting eyes, it no longer lingers on his fingertips and doesn't even creep into the more tender moments you must share with your baby. Love feels like a complete joke to you now.
-
The waiting room is empty of other clients which is a blessing in disguise. This is the absolute last place you'd want to run into Harries. Even if the media has already been dragging you in the mud for "breaking their dear superstar's heart" and has been making all sorts of claims about you and your marriage. In the very beginning, Harry had spoken up about these articles and had gotten his team to shut some people up but he's been losing care for... well, you.
"Harry and Y/N?" you look up meeting the eyes of who you can only assume is your therapist. Without sparring your husband a glance you get up and follow her into her office. It's cosy and smells like vanilla. There's a yellow glow to the room, it bounces off her multiple frames and decorations. Very nonthreatening, immediately putting you a little more at ease. She gestures for you to take a seat on her velvet green couch and you sit down squeezing yourself onto the left armrest. Harry does the same to the right.
"Good afternoon to you both, I am Trinity Finch. Can I get either of you something to drink before I sit down?" She smiles politely as her eyes shift between both of you. You only shake your head as an answer not trusting your stomach at the moment.
"Water if it's not too much trouble, please" Harry's voice is strained, he had been at the studio all morning probably preparing a new album you aren't aware of.
Trinity nods and quickly grabs a water bottle from a small fridge she's got right behind her desk. Harry mumbles a thank you as she hands it to him. You don't realise that his hands are shaking as you're back to looking around the room. He takes a few big gulps before your therapist gets to sit in her chair.
"Today I would just like to start with a history lesson on your relationship. How it started, all important moments, how parenthood has changed your shared life and just how you two are as a couple" She starts getting things ready around her, notebook, pens, highlighters, some sticky notes and you swear that you spotted some bright childish stickers. Her long manicured nails tap against the glass of her desk a few times as the silence stretches. Neither of you taking the first step in this session. When she looks up again she doesn't look annoyed or surprised by the lack of an answer.
"Harry, how did you meet your wife?" Trinity asks him gently.
Harry seems caught by surprise to have been asked a question directly. He looks at you briefly before turning his eyes back to her.
"Um, we meet on the plane. For some reason, my private plane for that day was not available and they booked me on a regular flight. Premium ended up being full and I got an economy seat. I had the aisle and she had the middle we ended up bonding over our shared movie choice. Then I asked her out and um here we are?" He ends with a question. As if unsure if "here" is a good thing, it's definitely not but meeting has, unfortunately, brought you both here.
"And when was this?" she asks.
"April 2018" he answers quickly. She nods presumably writing it down.
"How was your relationship before marriage Y/N?" she looks at you now with kind eyes. They are big and dark. Staring right into your soul. It makes you slightly uncomfortable but at the same time you don't want her to look away she's your lifeline right now.
"It was very easy. I work remotely as a translator and an editor, so I've always been able to tag along on his travels and tours. He, um, he always insisted that he rather have me with him even if we couldn't see each other every single day. Just knowing I was near helped him..." you sigh. You don't want to shed tears this early into your session. You don't want Harry to see you cry any more than he already has over your lost relationship.
"I really loved following him around the globe" you add, looking down at your lap willing your wet eyes to dry.
"Any fighting? How did you deal with that?" Trinity is still talking to you maybe even sensing that you're about to cry. Is that what she wants from this?
"Well, yeah. I mean all couples fight, right? We fought over the same things all the time really. I wanted more affection I guess pressuring him to take some time away from the spotlight or he wanted me all to himself whenever it worked with him without thinking of my work. Our jobs were the main reason for fighting between us" Besides you, Harry scoffs before taking another sip of water. Your head turns to him
so quickly that a sharp pain forms in the back of your neck. Your posture immediately tightens, muscles locking and your breath gets heavier.
"What? You don't agree?" you question him in a much harsher tone than you were previously using. He meets your gaze and shrugs.
"I do but that's not all we fought over" he shrugs again not looking away. Is he trying to pick a fight right now? Here of all places?
"Then what? What am I missing?" you prepare yourself for the worst. Ready to feel like absolute shit at anything he might say.
"Your constant jealousy was a contender for the most appearances in our fights" his entire expression is accusatory but he does this thing with his posture. Gets all soft and somewhat blazé making you feel inferior and so incredibly small.
You want to storm out. Call Anne to apologise that it couldn't work out and immediately sign the divorce papers that are permanently placed right on your dining table.
Not wanting to fuel this energy taking over him right now you shrug as well before facing Trinity again. She's watching both of you like a hawk, processing the way you react to conflict with each other. Making mental notes as well as some physical ones all while hostility happens between her clients.
"We'll move on from this for now. Harry, how was the wedding? How did married life change your bond?" this seemingly calms his overgrown ego. His face is neutral again but there's a softness to it now, recalling the happy days.
"We had an Italy wedding. We, I love Italy. I flew everyone out, our families and friends, and then we stayed there for a month more for our honeymoon. The wedding itself was... amazing. We kept it small. Intimate. With my life it's always been hard to have that so, it was important to us" he sounds blissful towards the last part. Probably back there now in his mind. Ah, the good old days as they say.
"I don't think married life changed us much. We were living together before that and we'd been planning it since we got together practically" he stops talking again to take another sip of water. You look at the lady in front of you again and as she begins to open her mouth to probably question him more Harry starts talking again.
"I guess tension started about a year in. The media wasn't kind to her. They made up cheating rumours on both sides and manipulated things to make them seem like something else. Someone even showed up at our old house while I was out" he took a deep breath, cracking some of his knuckles at the same time, "We were always on edge around each other. Throwing these rumours at one another just to I don't know, get a reaction? Plus, we were stuck at home because of Covid and my tour was postponed. It was a real shit show" he laughs bitterly and you nod along to what he was saying. That was just a terrible time. For everyone.
"Then I got to go on tour, Y/N didn't follow along for all of it but she was there most of the beginning. It wasn't the same as before. There was this distance that just never got better. And then she got pregnant" he almost sounds exhausted. Maybe he is, you're not sure how much he's slept lately.
-
Shit. Fuck. This can't be happening now. Shit! The word "Pregnant" seems to be mocking you as you look down at it. Mocking the fact that you and Harry have not seriously spoken in two days and that you're flying back home tomorrow. Mockingly reminding you that this can only make things worse right now.
"Y/N, come on the car is waiting downstairs" your husband's voice is weak through the thick hotel bathroom door. He's performing in Toronto tonight. The second day, the last day before he flies to New York and you go back to London.
You walk out of the bathroom, straight past Harry, not wanting him to read your face and figure out that something is terribly wrong. You slip into your shoes for the night and take a deep breath, no scratch that, a huge breath. Willing your facial expression to cooperate before you turn to him and smile.
"Let's go superstar!" he smiles back and walks over to you. Grabbing your hand and bringing it up to his mouth so he can plant a kiss on the back of it.
"We just might have to cancel tonight if you look this good" his free hand wraps around you tightly glueing you to his body. You know he doesn't mean it but you pretend to consider it nonetheless.
"Mh what about all your adoring fans? Won't they be so utterly crushed?" you tease against his lips. He smiles wickedly before slowly nodding.
"I do have quite the engagement this evening... how about I make it up to you after?" he presses soft kisses to the sides of your face. Framing it.
"That's a pretty good offer, I just might have to tak-"
"HARRY STYLES GET YOUR ASS OUT OF YOUR HOTEL ROOM!!" Jeff's voice is full of annoyance as it cuts you off. Rude.
You laugh before getting pulled out of the room by your husband. The small plastic stick forgotten on the washroom counter for now.
You get a harsh reminder tho when you're back at the hotel after yet another amazing concert. You're laying on the bed completely stretched out and now only dressed in your underwear. Harry's currently using the washroom to try and get some of the remaining glitter off his face when he finds the secret you've kept all evening.
"Y/N, what's this?" his voice is so shaky that you barely even understood what he asked you. However, when you look up your brain catches up. He's in his boxers, left hand in his hair and right hand holding the test like it's made of glass as he looks at it as if it's going to explode. Fuck.
"No chance that you suddenly lost the ability to read?" you try and lighten the suddenly very heavy mood in the room. It fails.
"You're pregnant. How, I mean no I know how. Fuck, you're pregnant" he looks up at you panicked.
"We don't have to keep it" is the first thing out of your mouth. Probably as a panic response to his reaction. Not wanting this to turn into another fight.
"What?! Why wouldn't we, you don't want, I um" he takes a second. He's just breathing heavily while looking at you desperately. "You don't want to keep it?" he breathes out.
"You do?" is all you answer. You stand slowly, finding the clothes you just took off to put them back on. Whatever mood you were in is gone you're now filled with anxiety and a deep fear.
"You leave tomorrow... We won't see each other for what 3 months? In Mexico?" he hasn't moved an inch. Feet seemingly glued to the floor and limbs were frozen.
-
Pregnancy. One of the worst and best times of your life. Your gorgeous baby girl came out of all the pain you suffered. She gave a new meaning to the way you live, made you forget about all the physical pain you endured and...
"Why do you say it in that way? Like you still dread what the pregnancy brought" Trinity's voice almost startles you. You'd been so lost in your thoughts that you'd almost forgotten where you were.
"I don't! I love Anya" his voice is stern.
"What about your wife? What happened during the pregnancy?" she's digging. Wants to find the right buttons to push.
Harry stammers, but no answer seems to satisfy him. His hands are squeezed under his things, his right leg bouncing and his eyes avoiding either of you.
"We didn't plan her, I was right in the middle of my tour. We, um, we weren't doing very good and she was about to go home" he looks at you suddenly surprising you when he meets your eyes. You can't read him, can't understand what he's feeling. You haven't been able to read him in months.
"She- You, Y/N, she got really sick in February the seven-month mark. I was in Australia and I couldn't be there. It really strained us, we fought all the time over the phone and in person. I guess that's really when we went downhill" his jaw tenses when he looks away from you. Looks like he's not happy to have to have shared this with the room.
"Okay, thank you, Harry. I think now's a great time to take a breather. I'll meet both of you individually when we come back. So, see you both here in 20 minutes?" Trinity smiles at both of you and keeps smiling until you both walk out.
-
Harry doesn't come back. You wait 45 minutes in Trinity's office looking like an idiot. She dismisses you with a look of pity on her face before scheduling another appointment 5 days later, lots of work to do you assume. You rush out of the building humiliation creeping into every inch of your body. How could he do this on the first day? It was going fairly well, well you think so anyway... did he give up on your relationship right then and there?
As you make your way to your car you see him. Harry is pacing back and forth in front of his car as he seemingly argues on the phone. His free hand waves erratically in front of him, gesturing like mad for someone who can't even see him. So this is what he's been doing? Arguing over the phone while you sat in a therapist's office waiting to try and work on your ever-crumbling marriage. You scoff before turning away from him and to your car. But nothing seems to be on your side today as your husband hears you and immediately calls out to you.
"Y/N! Why are you leaving?" you hear him walk towards you, the clacking of his shoes getting closer to you but you ignore him and walk away faster.
You're completely focused on your black Subaru, the "You're so Golden" sticker catching your eye and making you more pissed off. Something that was put there because you loved the song, because of how beautiful your husband's voice is in the song but now all you want to do is rip it right off. So, that's what you do.
Your nails claw at the edges of it desperately. You don't want any reminders of Harry on your car, you don't want to think of him while putting the groceries away, while walking around the car after putting Anya in her car seat and you don't want to see it in your rearview mirror anymore. The top corner lifts as you're pulling at it giving you the perfect leverage to rip it right off. You throw it to the ground right before turning around to stare daggers into Harry's eyes.
"45 minutes, Harry. I sat there 45 minutes with our therapist looking at me like a beaten dog!" you hiss at him. He is now only about 2 or 3 feet away from you. His eyes are wide, in shock you guess, as he looks at the sticker. "What could you have possibly been doing for more than an hour that made you forget what we were here for?" you're sure you sound desperate right now. Your head is all over the place and your heart feels like it might explode out of your chest.
"An hour? I, no, that couldn't have been more than-"
"You can go back up and ask her if you want because I really really don't want to be around you right now" and now you're crying. Fuck. Why are you crying now? You need to leave.
While rummaging in your bag for your keys Harry grabs your arm. Well maybe not grabs, he just places his hand on you, resting it there delicately. If you weren't so aware of every single inch of your body right now you wouldn't have noticed. No matter how delicate the touch is supposed to be you flinch out of it aggressively.
"I'm, I'm so sorry Y/N. That was my mother, she, fuck" he sighs and runs a hand in his hair gripping it tightly. "She wants us to go up... she's rented a lake house or something I guess" his voice is so soft, shy even.
"Us? You mean you and Anya?" god you hope so.
"I'm so sorry" is all he answers.
-
Anne Twist is a very difficult woman to say no to. Actually, it's impossible to say no to her. In the many years you've known her, she's always been able to find a way to make you say yes. Always in a good way. She loves you, she has told you that countless times, and you love her but now that you're... the way you are with her son you don't know where you stand. Yet, she has still found a way to get you to agree to something you would have much rather not have gone to. You're in a small townhouse almost 4 hours away from your home in London with your mother-in-law, your daughter and your soon-to-be ex-husband. What has your life come to?
Anya is sitting in her high chair passionately eating banana slices as you watch her. She's already gobbled up the strawberries and pita bread slices she also had for her snack. She's such a good eater always so ready to try new things and taste whatever the adults around her eat. Especially the sweet treats her dad sneaks her.
"Do you want to go take a dip after huh? We should enjoy the water my love" you coo at her as she takes her final bite of food. She smiles at you like she understood what you asked and you chuckle wiping her chubby cheeks and hands. She'll be able to float around in the water for a little bit with you before you put her down for a nap. The steps of your morning are perfectly planned so that you can have your solo Zoom session with Trinity.
There is a small river behind the house you're staying in. The water goes up to just above your breast and it's the perfect warmth at this time of day. You've made your way down to it and are now setting up Anya's towel for when she'll be too tired to entertain you and ready for her mid-day snooze. She's currently lying right by you looking up at the sky with such curiosity, probably trying to figure out what the hell clouds are.
"You're so curious my love!" you shake her gently as you smile widely. "What do you see up there?" as you look up to join her sky-gazing you spot Harry making his way to the river as well. He's only got very short grey swimming trunks on meaning his entire chest, thighs, calves, and arms are out for the whole world to see. Maybe that's an exaggerated statement as you're the only one looking right now. You want to scold yourself for staring, you really really do but he's just so... so captivating and very enjoyable to look at no matter how much you resent him at the moment.
"Mind if I join you ladies?" his voice is more cheerful than when you heard it last. Must be because he's actually speaking to and looking at Anya.
However, when you don't answer his question he looks up at you. Expression now closed off again, how it's always been for the past few months. You smile politely and nod before turning your back to both of them so you can take your robe off. Your swimsuit isn't anything special; simple black one-piece that's high on the hips and low on your back. You think it looks pretty good on you but now you feel very aware of the amount of skin you're showing. You decide to just get in the water hoping its dark colour hides you. Hides away the skin your husband might be looking at.
"Looks like mummy is in a hurry, we should join her. What do you think sweetheart?" Harry picks your baby up and makes his way into the water. He holds her tightly to his chest as he climbs in, just in case he slips on the stones he uses as stairs. Once your daughter's chubby limbs meet the water her mouth forms into an adorable "O" shape. It's the second time Anya's been in the water now so she must still be unsure about this feeling. Harry turns her so that her front faces you and her back is against him. She smiles when she spots you reaching her arms out quickly which splashes some water around. She looks at you with a shocked expression and does it again with a giggle now.
"You little troublemaker! Trying to splash me!" you tease her sending some water her way. She answers with a sweet giggle and shakes her arms around as fast as she possibly can.
"Mh, my jokester gene is strong in her" Harry's voice is laced with pride. You playfully roll your eyes at him and hum affirmatively.
"And her love for singing too" you add remembering so many moments where she hums to any song playing. Her favourite thing to do is to harmonise with her father. His deep voice always gets her attention, always gets her to mumble and hum along with her own lyrics.
"Oh yes, she's the next big thing this one" he affirms kissing the top of her small head affectionately.
It's in moments like these that you tend to forget how bad it is between you. How many horrible things you've shouted at each other not caring how deep your words could cut. The accusations, the insults, the taunts and even the lies still weigh heavy on both of you. You like these softer moments, where you're reminded of how much love you both had for each other. Have? Had? You don't know anything about your feelings anymore, they are much too complicated to understand...
All three of you stay in the river for about an hour more before Anya starts yawning and fussing. When you exit the water you're quick to slip your robe back on still overly aware. Harry wraps the fluffy towel you had gotten ready around your baby. Her head rests in the crook of his neck, her eyelids already heavy as she blinks slowly. You all walk back to the house together silently. Might it be to keep the sleepy baby calm or to keep the peaceful aura around you and your husband, you don't know.
Harry insists that he will put the sleepy girl to bed and that you should take a shower first. After all, you have the first private sessions with your therapist. The mention of her does make the air in the townhouse tense again but Anne appears immediately to kiss Anya before she naps. You use that moment to sneak into your shared room with Harry. Luckily, it has two single beds so you don't have to share with him.
Signing deeply you rid yourself of the now damp robe you had on. Another blessing in disguise, this room has an en suite bathroom so you'll be able to jump right into the shower. Before that you do want to set up your laptop for the video call, you want to be as ready as you possibly can be. You grab your device from your backpack and make your way to the small desk in the corner of the room. There's a bunch of papers scattered around it, one glance at them and you immediately know what they are.
Lyrics. Drafts of songs and melodies written by your rockstar husband. You don't mean to read any of the words you really don't but as soon as you spot your name at the top of one of the pages you're doomed. You put your laptop down on Harry's bed which is right next to the desk and reach for that exact paper.
The words you read are full of longing, pain, sadness and fear. They mourn love, they are mourning your love. You pick up another sheet of paper, this one has no title but there are so many lines written. This one is reeks of self-hatred, of shame and guilt... it shakes the weak barriers you've built around your heart. All of the lyrics you read on different papers revolve around the same emotions. These are all about your relationship. About the death of it. About his desire to turn around. You don't realise you're crying until a tear falls onto the paper you hold. The ink bleeds into itself where it's been wet blurring the words slightly. You quickly wipe your face and put the papers down. You shouldn't be looking at these, you're invading his privacy.
"Thought you were showering" Harry's voice startles you out of the chair. You meet the floor with a loud thud. Your tear-filled eyes meet his sharp ones. Scrambling up to your feet you grab your laptop ready to explain, ready to apologise over and over again.
"At least tell me what you think" he sighs walking into the bedroom and shutting the door behind himself. This shocks you. What does he mean? He, he's not mad? Isn't disappointed that you invaded his creative space? Your mouth opens and closes a few times unsure what you should answer.
"I'm sorry" is all you're able to get out. Your brain is blank in absolute fear but tears keep falling from your eyes.
"I should be apologising... you, you weren't supposed to see those" he walks in your direction slowly, testing the waters of how close you'll let him get. He's closer than arm's reach when you flinch backwards slightly and he stops immediately.
"I was going to ask you for your permission before making any of those full songs but you know music is how I cope" he whispers now that he's so close to you. Silence takes over the room again, stretching out for too long. Your eyes somehow keep producing tears as you try and speak. Hopelessly searching for words to say.
"Do you really miss us? You miss me?" is what you come up with, your voice is so shaky that you're on the verge of sobbing uncontrollably.
This shocks Harry in place, seemingly not prepared for that kind of questioning from you. His mouth gapes and his eyes grow wide. This time you do see his hands start shaking. You're not entirely sure what this emotion is.
"Of course I do. Did you not think so?" while still whispering he reaches out to hold you but stops himself hands falling at his sides.
"Yo- Harry, you asked for the divorce. How was I supposed to know you miss me?" your voice breaks. You don't understand, why is this happening now, why is he saying these things?
-
"We should just get a divorce" Harry snaps at you as he fights back tears. Your expression immediately closes up, your body reacting before your thoughts and words do. Protecting you from what he just said, building walls around you and your heart as quickly as possible.
"Fine" you spit out as you turn away from him and walk straight out of your bedroom. If that's what he wants then so be it. You won't beg for anything now that he's made his decision.
-
"I know, okay? I know that I asked for it and that it's the reason why you don't talk to me anymore. Well, you do but not really" he sighs and sits down on his bed, damn swim trunks wetting the bed "We talk about Anya and when we're not we are yelling at each other... so when was I supposed to tell you that I missed you? That I regretted asking for the divorce..." he looks at you with a guilty expression, all his emotions are coming up at once.
"Why did you ask for it?" you ask him sitting back on the desk chair with your laptop still in your hands.
"I got in my head. You were saying we should take some time for ourselves maybe live apart... with everything that kept being said about us, I got so scared" he takes your laptop out of your grip and puts it down next to him.
"I thought you were going to fight me on it..." he adds as he grabs your hands tenderly. Like he's afraid you'll break.
You shake your head in disbelief not sure what to say. Your thoughts are all over the place, what should you make of this?
"It broke my heart" When did his face get so close to yours? You should really move away. You can't fall back into him, you can't let yourself do that. So you pull away from him roughly, your hands tugging out of his hold, face moving to the side, a sob making its way out of you as your back meets the chair-back.
When you meet Harry's eyes you can see the pain, the hurt, in them. They are brimming with tears that are so close to spilling out.
"Are we... are we too broken?" his voice has dropped to a whisper. He sounds so sad and scared.
"I'm worried" You take in a few breaths before you speak again, "What if we just end up hurting each other again? What if we can't go back?" you choke out the last few words. Tears spill endlessly out of your eyes and sobs rack your entire body.
It feels like you're running out of air and the little bits you get in are painful. Your eyes burn as you cry and your hands are shaking like crazy.
Harry might be answering or trying to communicate but nothing is making its way past your meltdown. What does make it through is the feeling of his arms around you. Him pulling you against his chest tightly, immediately rubbing your back as soothingly as he can. Your hands are grabbing his still bare skin desperately, wanting to anchor yourself in any way you can. Your face rests on his peck, right above his heart, the frantic beating bouncing around your head.
"Breathe, you have to breathe love" he speaks delicately in your ear, breaking through the barrier your body has put up.
"I'm- I'm, I can't... Harry I can't" your clawing at him almost trying to get under his skin, someplace you might be able to understand everything that's going through his mind.
He wiggles around a little before laying you both down as he keeps reassuring and encouraging you. He drags you on top of him your face now pressed up against the juncture of his neck. Your left-hand makes its way into his hair, pulling at it as softly as you can manage. Harry's hands run up and down your back, your arms, and your neck and he even pets your hair delicately. He's always known how to best calm you down... how to bring you back down to earth and out of the panic attacks you sometimes get when you're overwhelmed.
"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry" he repeats that over and over with a pained desperation. Harry's scared shitless too. He doesn't know how things will go with your relationship. He can't guarantee that you won't end up actually wanting a divorce one day... But he can love you. He has and will keep loving you. He hopes it'll be enough to save your marriage. He'll work incredibly hard every single day to prove his love for you... if you let him back in he won't ever let you go. He'll leave it all up to you. Your little family is all he needs, he'll spend the rest of his life proving that to you if that's what it takes.
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