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loveindefinitely · 4 months

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༊*·˚ FOREVER WINTER (IF YOU GO) — task force 141 x reader

05 — THESE THINGS EAT AT YOUR BONES

featuring. simon 'ghost' riley + johnny 'soap' mactavish + kyle 'gaz' garrick + john 'bravo six' price + (non-endgame phillip graves)

warnings. nsfw, fem!reader, fmmmm, enemies to lovers, slow burn, polyamory, ghostsoap, pricegaz, alerudy, heavy angst, requited unrequited love, graphic violence

series masterlist. read on ao3. fanfic playlist.

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You were seventeen when you enlisted.

Obviously, you had to lie about your age – just a year off, not a drastic difference. The recruiters wouldn’t care enough to double check, anyways. Anyone willing to join their forces was good enough in their books.

You’d been desperate, desperate for a sense of community, for a home, for something to occupy your time with.

Things hadn’t been easy after your mother had passed.

She’d raised you on her own; having taken you from your father before you could realise what a father was. Said he was a bad man, didn’t deserve an angel like yourself. Sometimes, you wished that you’d known him, or at least had a father figure to look up to.

That was rare, however. Your mother had done a great job in raising you – making sure you had morals and looked out for others. Always had a roof over your head, food made with love in your tummy.

It was only three months prior to your enlistment that she passed.

While you were at school, she was shot and killed in your childhood home. The day you walked through that front door, backpack a hefty weight on your shoulders, and saw her wide-eyed corpse on the living room carpet, was the day that a piece of you died.

That night, with the cool fabric of the paramedic’s shock blanket around your frame, you looked up what happens after you die with shaky, blood-stained hands. A question you hadn’t had to consider. Not until then.

The police wrote down your stilted words in their government-issued notepads, attempts of sympathy on their faces.

All you could focus on was the tap tap tap of your foot against the carpet, the chewed up flesh of your inner cheek, and the burning of your eyes.

You had, thankfully, managed a choked up explanation of what you’d seen.

“I came home. From school. She was just. There. On the carpet. Her eyes were open,” you managed to whisper, eyes remaining in your lap.

“How did you feel when you saw her?” The officer asked.

You had half the mind to ask him that very same question. You didn’t, of course.

“I felt that she deserved a better death than this. Sir.”

The time after that passed in quick, blurry memories. A hand on your shoulder here, a trauma nurse there, all the while your mind could only supply you with the image of the one person you had. Gone.

“Here.”

You’d looked up with bloodshot eyes and chapped lips. The man looked to be in his late forties, with greying hair and saggy features. In his hands was a steaming cup of tea – extended towards you. With trembling fingers, you took it from the man.

“Thank you,” you’d murmured, before blowing across the liquid with a soft breath. It rippled with the flowing air, tea leaves simmering on the bottom. If you looked hard enough, you could make out a tree.

“Is it alright if I join you?” He asked, gesturing to the chair in front of you. You nodded, and he moved to get comfortable in his seat, eyes remaining on you. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

That was, funnily enough, the first time you’d heard those words said to you.

“I’m Herschel Shepherd,” the man supplied, with a small, comforting smile. He extended a weathered hand to you, and after a moment, you accepted it with a light shake. “I think I might know who’s responsible for your mother’s death.”

You swallowed. “What? Are you,” you worked your heavy tongue, “Are you in the FBI?”

He loosed a hearty chuckle at that, before shaking his head. “No, kid. I’m a bit higher up than that.”

You didn’t have it in you to push. Not then, not with the smell of blood a consistent rot in your nose. You just nodded, accepting that explanation, squeezing your hands together for comfort.

“There’s been some rumours,” Shepherd leaned his elbows against his knees, lowering himself to meet you at eye level. “Of a secret organisation, searching and killing those affiliated with the army. Especially those who served, and then ran.”

Your brows furrowed, mouth opening and closing around nothing. “What does this have to do. With anything – my mum, she wasn’t –”

“She was, kid,” Shepherd interrupted with a raised hand. “She was a renowned Lieutenant. Served for ten years.”

Tap tap tap, your foot goes.

“She would’ve told me,” you managed out, throat choking up and nostrils flaring. “She wouldn’t have hid that from me. I’d know. You’re lying.”

“She didn’t tell you to keep you safe,” he urged, resting his hand on your bouncing knee in comfort. “But… This is more than just her. This is an attack on our country, on you, kid. I’m investigating this group, their ideals, their plans. You can help.”

You shook your head adamantly. “No. This has nothing to do with me.”

“It has everything to do with you,” Shepherd immediately retorted, and you felt your chest caving in, your shoulders deflating. “It’s up to you. I hope to see you in my regiment, kid.”

Then, he’d stood, and dropped a card onto your lap. Without another word, he left.

It was later that night, when you found yourself near passing out, that you’d read his business card. It had his name, his title – Lieutenant General – and a regiment. You weren’t sure how any of it worked, if you could do this, if you were made for something like the army. That night, you’d studied and watched and learned everything you could about his regiment.

Three months later, you’d stood before him, gun in hand.

He just smiled, knowingly, and clapped a hand on your shoulder. He leaned down and whispered, “Together, we’ll avenge her.”

And you did, under his wing. You set things right.

Your ears ring, the bumps of the vehicle doing nothing to snap you out of your daze. It’s like your insides have turned inside out, every molecule of liquid evaporated with a single name.

“He’s a good man,” you manage to say, breaking the stunned silence of the 141. You don’t dare to look up, to see their expressions, their apprehension. “He saved me. Multiple times. He wouldn’t hurt anyone without a reason, he wouldn’t.”

Even as you say the words, try and plead, you find yourself losing faith. It’s a devastating thing, one that has you wanting to wretch your near-empty stomach.

“We did some digging,” Price murmurs, sounding sorrowful and almost guilty. “We found the truth.”

The entire time that Price retells the intel he and ‘Laswell’ found, you find yourself falling deeper and deeper into your pit of despair. Like you’re clawing with your nails to get out, yet all you’re finding is unrelenting stone, breaking the keratin with every scratch.

By the time that all the information has been told, your body feels as though it’s frozen.

It isn’t until you feel a thumb wipe against your cheek that you realise you’re crying. Finally, finally, you look up, and meet Soap’s mirthful eyes. His thumb is rough where it wipes away your tears, gathering the salty liquid against the ridges of his fingertips.

Could it get worse than this? Worse than being told that the only other man in your life – the only other person you’d trusted – was a bad man? Working with Graves? How hadn’t you known? Why hadn’t Graves told you –

Why. Why. Why?

“He was the closest thing I had to a father,” you manage, feeling almost manic with it. “He – he and Graves, they’re all I have, I can’t, you can’t–”

You barely manage to open the small window before you’re hurling your empty guts, nothing coming out but air and some bile burning the back of your throat. Your throat, eyes, your entire body aches.

Two large hands rub at your back, and you can hear words being said, but you can’t understand them, can’t hear anything but a low buzz in the back of your mind. Your breath comes out in loud, sharp pants, and you can’t help but sniffle as tears roll down your cheeks and drip from your chin.

Your entire life has just been flipped on its head, and you can’t handle it. You are a Colonel, you’re supposed to be impenetrable, but this, this is everything you ever had. Gone with a few words, a single mission.

“It’s okay, lass, fuck,” you can finally make out Soap saying, recognising one of the hands as his. It’s an, admittedly, comforting weight, one that you find yourself leaning back into. “Steamin’ Jesus.”

“Kyle, do you have water?” Price calls out to the front, and soon, a hand directs your head to enter the van once more, an opened water bottle being pressed to your lips. Price holds it, his hand stroking the back of your neck in support. “Have a drink, darlin’,” he encourages, tilting your head back as you swallow the ice-cold water. “There we go,”he murmurs, his touch unrelenting.

“You good, love?” Gaz calls from the front, brows furrowed where he’s half-watching in the rearview mirror.

All you can give him is a small, weak nod, but he seems to accept it.

Your mind is spinning at a mile per minute, shuddering when Price pulls the bottle away and Soap continues to rub your back in calming circles. This is, you think, the one time you’ll allow yourself to be comforted by them. This was already crossing too many of the boundaries you’d put up in your head, a clear violation of the separation you’d planned out.

Ghost, true to his name, remains still where he sits in front of you, calculating as he stares you down.

“What are the chances,” he begins, focus remaining on you even if everyone else’s is suddenly on him, “That General’s personal pet is also Graves’ girl who had a change of heart?”

“Si–” Soap begins, before Ghost cuts him off.

“How do we know she’s not a fuckin’ spy,” he spits out, glaring at you with everything he has, “And we’ve been too fuckin’ stupid to figure it out!”

You’re not in control of your body, at this point. Your emotions are.

With one breath, you pull out the blade hooked to your hollister, grip it in a fist, and grab the scruff of Ghost’s uniform and pull him close. Grabbing his hand, you slide the knife into it, grabbing his wrist, pulling it forward so the knife is pressed against your neck.

“Kill me,” you breathe, chest heaving, eyes burning with rage, “Kill me if you think I’m a spy. Slice the knife through my fucking throat, Lieutenant, do it.”

His irises are blown black, the white of his eyes stark against the grease paint smeared over his visible skin. You can feel his heavy breaths through his mask, brushing against your snarled lips. You pull him even closer, your fist unrelenting against the fabric of his uniform.

There’s an uproar around you, Soap yelling something to you both, Price trying to tug you away by his grip on your upper arm, Gaz trying to both focus on not crashing and whatever the hell is happening behind him.

You’re strong, however. Trained and built for hand-to-hand battle, and you don’t move an inch. Not when you’re so determined, so stubborn.

“Kill. Me.” You hiss, the words quiet enough to only be heard by the man holding a knife to your throat. You lean in closer, and you can feel a small trickle of blood fall down your bared neck, but it’s a thrilling type of pain.

“You’re a crazy bastard,” he spits back, but he notably eases the knife away from your skin. You just lean into it further, more blood being let. “If you keep tryna call bluffs like this, you’ll be sent home in a casket.”

“What home, Lieutenant?” You ask, almost desperate for his answer, a demand. You narrow your gaze, refusing to break eye contact. “If you can find where the fuck I belong, I’ll be happy to die within its walls.”

The two of you standoff, your eyes doing all the speaking, before Ghost allows the blade to fall from his grip, hitting the floor of the van with a clunk. “You win, Sweetheart,” he taunts, the words being breathed against your own mouth, mere millimetres apart. “Congratulations.”

You finally allow yourself to be pulled back, Soap shooting you a shell-shocked look, his jaw clenching as he looks between you both. Price finally eases his grip around your arm, barking, “Don’t pull that shit! One wrong move and –”

“My whole life has been one wrong move,” you grit out, falling back into your seat with shallow breaths. You drag your hand down your face, before resting against the sticky heat of your blood, pooling at the dip of your neck. “What’s one more?”

There’s no response. You don’t hope for one, don’t expect one, but it still leaves you unsteady. Unsure. Even when everyone just sits in an odd sort of limbo for a few minutes, you struggle to come down from that high, that overwhelming need for control.

“Here.”

When you look up, it’s to see Soap, a medkit in his lap. Price is sitting on the other side next to Ghost, talking quietly to him, stern expressions displayed on them both. They seem lost in conversation – a serious one, considering your current situation.

“What’re you doing?” You find yourself asking, watching as he rips open an alcoholic wipe and takes it out, your leg bouncing. He gives you a friendly smile, this side of hopeful.

“Patchin’ ye up, Sweetheart. Goes both ways,” he explains, and your eyes go glassy once more. “Can aye fix ye up?”

You don’t trust your words, so you simply nod, tilting your head back. You find yourself rocked by the rhythm of Gaz’s driving, finding solace in the comfort of semi-safety. Although not as safe as you would’ve been at Graves’ base, there was a sense of… protectiveness that came with being with the 141.

Wincing, you grit your teeth as Soap cleans up the blood from your throat, his gentle ministrations so at odds with his bumbling, charismatic character. He’s precise, careful to not hurt you too much, delicate movements made by harsh hands.

“You sure do like playin’ with fire, lass,” he murmurs, swiping the last bits of drying blood from the hollow of your throat, the tip of his tongue peeking out from between his lips. “Can respect that.”

“I’m sorry for… that,” you sigh, watching as he deposits the used wipe into a hazard bag. Good practice, you think, prioritising avoiding any bloodborne diseases. You’re silently impressed. “Didn’t mean to lose my shit. Just. A lot.”

“I know,” he returns, earnest, opening a bottle of sanitary cream and swiping some onto his finger, bringing it to soothe over your small wound.

“I don’t know who to trust.”

Those words aren’t exactly good ones to say, not to a borderline enemy with his hands on your neck. But it feels like an otherworldly force makes you say them, makes you expose yourself even further to this man. Maybe a taunt, maybe a small punishment for saving his life.

He pauses, but quickly covers up his hesitation with returned fervour. “I don’t envy ya, hen. It’s an absolute shitshow. But…” he grabs some medical tape, cutting it to length to put over your wound. Apparently it’s worse than you’d thought. “Ye heard what happened. Shepherd, Graves, they’re not worthy of ya.”

That gives you pause. Worthy. What made someone worthy? What kind of clarifications?

Did he think he was worthy? Ghost? Price? Gaz?

“You think I’m better than the General?” You raise a brow, attempting to goad him, spark that flame of banter that always seemed to haunt the Scot.

“I know ye are. Seen it with my own eyes.”

Your heart skips a beat.

“We’re nearly back at the safehouse,” Gaz calls from the front, tapping his hands against the steering wheel to a silent rhythm. Price grunts out a reply, and Ghost remains silent, watching. Always watching.

Finishing up his quick first aid job, Soap tilts your head back down with a grip on your chin, his thumb stroking along your bottom lip. “There we go, Sweetheart. Good as new,” he whispers, the corner of his lips tilting into a kind grin.

“How’s the arm?” You find yourself asking, looking to the bandaged ligament. “Feeling alright?”

“Definitely better than if aye’d let it get infected,” he hums, looking down to his arm. “Once this blows over, nurses on base will sort it out.”

You hadn’t noticed before, but you realise that his thigh is pressed against yours, and your leg has stopped bouncing. No more tap tap tap. Just… the feel of fabric against your own, heated by the flesh underneath. The comforting touch of another human, not sexual, not for any reason but to simply… exist.

Ten minutes pass of comfortable silence between you both, before the vehicle comes to a stop, Gaz turning off the engine with a turn of his keys, unbuckling his seat belt and hopping out of the car.

“Out we get,” Price says to you all, gentler than he’d been before. The doors burst open, Gaz flinging the keys back to his Captain, urging the four of you to hop out and head in.

You’re the last to get out, Gaz extending a calloused hand for you to take, ever the gentleman. Accepting it, you jump down, looking to the awaiting men. The Los Vaqueros are rushing inside, talking amongst themselves, relief thick in their words, hands being slapped against each other’s backs.

Price is looking at you as he says, “I think we have a call to make.”

As it turns out, the call is to the last person on Earth you want to talk to right now. In the middle of the same table you’d stood beside Rudy at, mere hours ago, is a computer.

One with General Shepherd’s face on it.

Price had given you the mercy in deciding whether you’d show yourself or not. You still hadn’t made the choice, instead standing off to the side, Gaz and Soap at either side of you. Alejandro stands at the right of the table, and Ghost has his arms folded over his chest at the left.

“You hid this,” Price grips the table, livid, “Why.”

Not a question, not really, more of a command than anything. An order from a Captain.

Shepherd’s response has your blood running cold, reality finally cementing inside of yourself. You claw at your palms when he responds, drily, “We all keep secrets, Captain.”

And, oh, what a slap in the face that is.

“Why the hell wasn’t I informed?” Price snaps, his shoulders rising and falling with each barely restrained breath. He seems to fill out his uniform more than he had before, in the dim light of the room.

The boarded up window allows for a small sliver of sunset to cast against all of you, a small joy in the darkness of the safehouse. And the situation at hand.

“Consider yourself well informed now, John,” Shepherd’s tone lowers, more grating, forceful.

“Oh, that's really fuckin' helpful, General. Thank you. But you're a day late and a missile short. There's three of them – we only found two.”

“Then point yourself in that direction, and fix it,” Shepherd booms, and you can’t help the instinctual flinch of your body. You’d grown up being frightened of his raised voice, the threat that came along with it. Even in the safety of this house, you can’t help your response.

Price scoffs a laugh with no humour, his mouth falling into a grim, dangerous line. “And who fixes you, eh?”

You can hear, more than see, Shepherd’s returning snarl. “I don’t need fixing. I’m a patriot protecting my country.”

Gaz and Soap share a look above your head, but you don’t care, not now. Not when Price stands up, slamming his hand against the table, not when Alejandro curses under his breath.

Not when all you can think about is the empty promises Shepherd made.

“You’re protecting your own ass,” Price cusses, turning back to glare at the man on the screen.

“I do what needs to be done, and no one holds me down with a roll of red tape. I know what's best for the cause.”

Price chuckles, eyes a fire of fury, leaning down once more to the laptop. “You’ve lost your mind, General.”

“And you've forgotten what you're fighting for, John. To do good, you gotta do some bad. When we shit, we bury it, that's how it works,” Shepherd replies, hard and strong in his belief.

You’re at the verge of losing it.

“Yeah,” Price begins, before pointing his finger to the camera, “But we don’t bury each other with it, do we?”

“You need to turn off that side o' your head and face down the real enemy,” Shepherd warns, and it’s the final straw.

“Isn’t that what you told me, Herschel? That the organisation was the real enemy?” You quip, and for a minute, you wonder if he’s ended the call.

That is, until, a choked off voice filters in, “Kid?”

Rushing forward, you turn the laptop to face you, and your entire system seems to revolt as you see the man you once cared for like a father.

“Tell me that you didn’t betray them,” you hiss, leaning in closer, your entire face filling the screen. “Tell me that you didn’t ruin lives – tell me you didn’t make a deal with my Commander behind my back. Tell me, Herschel.”

“You wouldn’t understand –” he begins, but that’s all you needed to know.

Stepping away, you give him a final, cold smile. “Was it worth it?”

“What –” he starts once more, before you grab the handle of your gun, pulling it up to rest as a comforting weight in your hand.

“Was it worth ruining my life? Was it worth ruining this mission?”

“You’re just a kid.”

“I am a Colonel!” You shout, emotions bubbling over as you slam the gun onto the table, eyes blazing. “And when I find you, you’re going to wish you never fucked me over. What was your favourite method? Flaying? Dismemberment?”

“You’ve always been too soft and easy to manipulate,” Shepherd snaps back, voice booming through the speakers.

Your voice is as dangerous as you’ve ever heard it.

“Immolation? That was your favourite, wasn’t it?”

His eyes widen on the screen, seeming to understand, to seemingly take you seriously. Too late. Too fucking late.

“Let’s see if it’s still your favourite when it’s your turn to be the victim,” you slowly say, annunciating every word with clear speech. “Thank you for your teachings, General.”

With that, you slam the laptop screen shut, and prepare to face the fire.

taglist. @lilpothoscuttings @jng-yuan @iruzias @insatiablekittie @1wh4re1nova @kaoyamamegami @supernaturalstilinski @inthemiddle0feverywhere @msecho19 @nogood-boyo @alfa-jor @lalashhyl @letmeapologise @honeybeeznutz @1mawh0re @oreo-cream @lalashhyl @someonepleasedateme @letmeapologise @uhhellnogetoffpleasenowty @inarabee

author's note. im so hyped for all of the future plot points. and romance. ohmygod. yes, ghost does eventually come around. yes, he's the longest slow burn. yes, he's the most intense enemies to lovers. wbk. i also got covid so i have a lot of time to rot in bed and suffer while writing!! ALSOOO there is so much fire symbolism... ;)

your comments mean soso much to me, every time iread one i squeal and feel all excited!! thank u for ur support commenters, i DO read all of them. more than once. <3

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astrologydayz · 6 months

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COMPOSITE CHART NOTES❤️‍🔥 - LOVE/RELATIONSHIP WISE

🖤 A composite chart for a couple literally shows us how their relationship dynamic is, how they communicate as a couple/show love, their sexual dynamic, "challenges as a couple", how "content" they are in their relationship basically&their "reputation together"/outside influences etc. It also shows what their relationship's "endgame" is⛓.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

SUN TRINE/QUINTILE MOON = a real powerhouse. They do NOT need other people's validation, when it comes to anything regarding their relationship. They KNOW they're meant 2 be in this, &won't hesitate 2 cut people out who's trying 2 interfere. They're stable and secure in their relationship, when it comes 2 their differences/"flaws" - they'll guide each other, not mock. They support each other, &will always have each others backs. If they'll ever break up = best friends after, 9/10 times. Won't let one another leave.

SUN SQUARE/QUINCUNX Moon can feel conflicting. They love each others differences in the beginning, but will start 2 point out each others "flaws" later, and make fun of them. "Passive aggressive" comments being thrown at one another, at any moment. It happens without them being able 2 stop themselves. They have these intense moments where they know they want 2 stay together 4ever, but have arguments about every little thing, things that doesn't even matter. They can't let one another be true 2 who they are🙅‍♀️🧡.

🌙 🪐MOON CONJUNCT/QUINCUNX SATURN = restrictions when it comes 2 feelings as a couple. They can feel awkward/weird talking about their emotions together. Like this "bad cloud" hanging over them, every time they try 2 go deep/work out their "problems"/differences with one another. Can also show karmic issues being the reason they can't get "emotionally close". One can have hurt the other one in a past life, & it hinders their connection in this life. Feeling like they can't be 100% open with each other, not knowing why - always a wall dividing them🖤💔.

SUN CONJUNCT/SQUARE Black Moon Lilith can easily have started their relationship while one of them was already in a relationship🖤. A secret affair, or just a really secret relationship, because one of them/or both, got something going on🤨🤔. SUN CONJUNCT MARS shows a very sexual relationship! They have a very passionate, fiery, action oriented, &strong relationship🤟🧡. They hype each others egos up, & feel better together than they do apart. They can have passionate arguments about who should do what &why, or about what they should do together & who should "decide". They can also end up saying really hurtful things 2 each other, in the heat of the moment, so they betta make sure that they give each other the freedom that they both need👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨. SUN CONJUNCT PLUTO is a total power couple! they'll change/transform each others lives forever, when they come together. Feeling of fate being involved here - "not a coincidence". They got loyalty 4 days, and have a very intense relationship that only they can understand. No outsiders allowed "truly" in. They have 2 make sure that they're always truthful towards one another tho, cuz the other person will find out, as everything is seriously analyzed here. They can get into intense arguments/obsess about things the other person does/did. Not "putting it all out there", can seem crazy sketchy2 the other person.

SUN CONJUNCT 5TH HOUSE = This couple is social AF! They have a LOT of friends usually, & LOVES 2 go out with them! Parties, events, dinners, u name it. They can even go on vacations with them! They love 2 have fun as a couple! And it can also show that they met, when they were out having fun with their friends/at a place where u can drink/dance. This placement can also show a couple having a kid together/raising a kid together.

MARS CONJUNCT MC can show a couple motivating each other, driving each other 2 succeed in each of their careers. OR one helping the other one reach an insane milestone in their career. But it can actually also show, that A LOT OF PEOPLE are against these 2being together. People can hate on them, for whatever reason they deem fit. Reputation of helping/supporting one another, career wise/looking “hot/sexy together/fighting in public/their fights being talked about publicly/people hating on their relationship - always commenting on it.

VENUS/CONJUNCT/TRINE/QUINTILE MC is a really fucking good placement. This couple shows their love, and how they love each other 2 the world. "One can't be mentioned without the other"🗣🫰. They typically have material wealth, & a reputation for being a creative/artistic/wealthy/loving - giving couple. They can also be seen as a very beautiful looking couple. They can be known in the entertainment/Arts industry, fashion industry, or they can be socialites. It can even show an iconic couple💋.

URANUS CONJUNCT ASC/OPPOSITE DSC shows a couple having no trouble with showing their "weird sides"/cute quirks - they can't hide it anyway. They're not embarrassed by it. THEY LIVE4IT! They're not gonna pretend 2 be something they're not. They can't hide their forward/original way of living either, no matter how much they wanted2! They're innovative, &will not conform 2 society's way of "living life". People can think of the couple as an "unusual" match/&as unpredictable, but a forward living/creative/out of the box couple. Hating labels = usually a thing here, so they can wait a long time before "finalizing" anything between them. They're not something u see every day! MERCURY CONJUNCT ASC/OPPOSITE DSC can show a couple speaking whatever's on their minds, all the time. "A couple having no filter". They don't care if they're debating in front of people, or alone. It's their thing! It's just how they are/work as a couple. Debating/talking 2each other A LOT, about all kinds of different things, to discuss and then agree, or agree 2 disagree. As long as they both gets 2 discuss their points, It's all good. People can think of the couple as a communicative/talkative/& "open" couple, but sometimes a little 2 open/2ready 2 debate/discuss everything. People can also feel kinda left out, when they're talking with each other - can't keep up with them. MERCURY OPPOSITE MC/CONJUNCT IC usually have really good communication between them, unless their Mercury is really afflicted. They can be seen as kind of "Superficial in public", only really talking about surface stuff. They're really private, when it comes to their problems/debates or fights. If they're fighting, you wouldn't know, unless u know them really well. They do not talk about their issues with each other in public. That's something these two only do behind closed doors. They're very straightforward with each other, & they talk about everything, But only when they're ALONE.

Always look at everything, 2get the exact details! &always analyze both Natal charts, BEFORE analyzing a composite chart! THANKS4READING BABE Appreciate u, always.

#composite chart #astro community #astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astrology notes #venus #mars astrology #astrology community

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unhingedmarvelandclassicwhobuff · 6 months

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According to the MCU wiki, the Blip is today. So I figured I'd take the time to detail the four biggest reasons why the time jump in Endgame was a universe-shatteringly horrible idea that should never have seen the light of day

the absolute biggest problem, of which there are many, is the fact that countless people died as collateral damage in the initial Snap. Hell, we are shown it in the Infinity War post-credit scene with those multiple car accidents and that helicopter slamming into a building. And that was just the tip of the iceberg; imagine how many planes crashed because the pilots were dusted, or how many babies starved because both their parents were dusted, or people who may have died on the operating table because a surgeon got dusted. All of these people are totally ignored. It's never so much as mentioned when talking about bringing everyone back, and Tony insisting that the last five years remain unchanged is implicitly saying all of those people remained dead when the dusted returned.

the second big problem with this plot point is that it's used as an excuse for every character except Nat to be totally unrecognizable. Bruce becomes Professor Hulk, Thor gets fat, Tony has a family (and I fucking love how the movie inadvertently says he just let the world rot for five years instead of using his billions of help. That is 100% in character for him), Clint went on a mass killing spree, and Steve... I actually have no idea what made him change so radically. None of this is shown to us at all, it's just told to us.

this is less a problem with Endgame and more a problem with Phases 4 and 5, but the other worse thing about this development is that absolutely nothing has been done with it. Far From Home played the time-jump for comedy, WandaVision had that one great scene in the hospital and then did nothing else, Shang-Chi had a singular throwaway line about the Blip, Hawkeye had that one neat visual of getting Snapped from Yelena's POV and then nothing else, Multiverse of Madness had a single conversation where Strange wonders if letting Tony have his way was the only way to save the universe, Quantumania had a single scene addressing the homelessness issue and then nothing else, and I think Secret Invasion tried to do a bit of a look at how Talos reacted to the Blip, but that show was so awful that I'd rather not think about it. The only projects to do anything at all with the Blip as a major plot point are Falcon and the Winter Soldier and Eternals.

the fourth and final massive problem with the Blip is pretty simple yet complicated; it ignores the absolutely insurmountable societal implications both the Snap and the Blip would have. Think about it; half the fucking universe disintegrates into ash. There are SO many things that would do to just human society alone. But even more importantly, five years after all those people were declared dead (meaning wills are executed, spouses remarried, jobs and homes redistributed, etc) those people suddenly reappear, and from their POV it's only been a second. Just to put it in perspective, the Snap happened on April 29th, 2018. Doesn't that feel like forever ago? If the Snap were real, all those people would have been gone until today. That is such a huge mindfuck that I'm shocked no one went insane. And even looking aside from the psychological impact, all those people are pretty fucking screwed. Far From Home had a single scene addressing this, then promptly forgot about it.

My final point is less of a problem and more of an amusing byproduct; since Tony directly forbids Bruce from undoing the last five years, that means the events of WandaVision, Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Hawkeye, Multiverse of Madness, and Secret Invasion are on some level his fault. That’s fucking hysterical.

I suppose I'll be absolutely fair and say that rewinding time isn't a morally perfect solution either, as you would be erasing any maturity the survivors gained during those five years, as well as anyone born in that time. But that's just all the more reason to NOT HAVE A FUCKING TIME-SKIP!!! I still think the only reason it was done was for cheap shock value.

All in all, the five-year time jump is the single worst major plot point in the MCU. Fight me.

#anti endgame #the blip was an awful idea #anti tony stark

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wingamy24 · 2 months

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a lot of jeff/annie shippers have said that i'm just a no-fun anti that fixates on their age gap and, like, yeah, obviously. that's the main problem. but i also think jeff/annie go against both of the character's development.

annie constantly tries getting her "dream man" because she feels the need to be loved. she needs someone to love her and give her approval. she sees that man as jeff because, in her words, she believes that if she teaches someone like him to love, then she'll be loved forever. i think that jeff/annie could've been used as a way to make annie mature and realize that she doesn't need a 35 year old man's approval or attention and that she can love herself the same way... of course, this doesn't work if you try to make them endgame.

and jeff, well... basically, community finale. jeff sees annie as his youth, the one he desperately wants back. and, also, he feels lonely. he's a cold guy that constantly needs to look cool in front of his friends. he's VERY lonely. he doesn't want annie: same as her, he just wants to be loved. he's not used to loving. he wants to experience it, but as annie said in his weirdass fantasy where she was married to him... "is this what you really want?"*

i don't know, i feel like shipping jeff and annie is the equivalent of throwing their characters through the window of a 13-floor building.

*that's the translation of the spanish subtitles, i can't exactly remember what annie actually said in english.

5/3/24 update (i forgot that i wanted to add this)

in general, it just feels like they both want a completely different relationship with a completely different person, and they're trying to force the other to be that person. im mostly talking about annie here. if your favorite community character is jeff winger, you probably are his #1 hater, like me. annie doesn't deserve jeff. she deserves way better. and im not saying this in a "they are so silly hahaha annie deserves so much better than this silly guy" no, annie would get hurt in a relationship with jeff. she has high expectations for him. she has high expectations in general. my girl is FRESH OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL and the only 2 guys we've seen her canonically date are grownass men she met when she was 18/19. jeff just isn't her guy. can you imagine them actually living together? can you imagine jeff sleeping on a bed full of plushies? can you imagine annie groaning as she saw jeff's magazines of women? (jeff canonically has those, by the way) etc, etc. annie deserves SO MUCH BETTER than jeff. also, she doesn't really... get jeff. i know this is weird, i mean, they're friends. but jeff never really opened up to annie or went to her whenever he had personal issues. i don't think they'd be closer than friends (close friends).

there's also a whole thing in their potential relationship that could be harmful to annie: jeff's addiction to alcohol. i reblogged a post about it a few days ago that you might wanna check out

kk guys it's been like 3 days and i found it it's right here!

#im doing a post on why jeff and britta actually help with each others character development #community #community nbc #nbc community #jeff winger #jeffbritta #annie edison #anti jeffannie #anti jeff x annie #jeffannie anti #anti jannie #wingamy rants

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austinswh0re · 1 year

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Confidential.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Wife!reader

Warnings: Smut!!! so please if you’re not into that do not continue reading!, fluff, Angry Chris?

This is my first time posting any sort of writing on here so please don’t come for me💀 I’m hoping this comes out as well as it is in my head lmao. Enjoy! Also! i’m aware Endgame did not come out in 2021, im switching up the timeline a little bit lol

Y/n gets ask a question she had been preparing to answer, but when it gets asked she doesn’t know how to feel about it. Chris keeps in everything he wants to say until later that night.

(The gif is making me scream)

…………………………………………

Press conferences. I always had a love hate relationship with them. I loved answering questions and being with all my friends at once but what i didn’t enjoy so much were the extremely personal questions. Such as mine and Chris’ private life.

Chris and I got engaged late 2020, we planned our wedding for July 2021, we wanted a summer wedding, getting engaged in December didn’t really give us much time to plan, but one thing we knew for sure was that we would not wait a whole year before we were married. It was a small wedding, we got married on the beach with all our closest friends and family. We went on our dream honeymoon to Hawaii, and once we came home it was time for a premier.

Filming Endgame was definitely filled with tons of emotion. It was mine a his last Marvel movie together and everyone was aware of this. After we had filmed the last scene tears were shed from almost the entire cast and crew. We still had the premiere, which I will forever be grateful for. We hadn’t posted that we had gotten married on any social media platform, well up until the night I posted a photo of us and my username had changed. I didn’t think much of it considering us being engaged was very much public, but many people were still shocked by the name change.

y/nEvans

“your favorite couple has arrived:) So extremely proud of this guy right here, I love you infinitely.”

1,234,536 likes

ChrisEvans: Thank you honey, I love you more than you know❤️

robertdowneyjr: Love these two!!

tomholland2013: I think you guys come in a close second to me and z

Y/nEvans: replying to tomholland2013: yeah yeah

user1256: sobbing. her username is y/nEvans.

user1437: Shut up. I cant do this rn. im so happy for them🥹

^^^^^^ the post in question*

We also had the press conference which gave me a few extra days with the people i love the most. We both knew the risk of having personal questions asked was high but that didn’t make it any less jarring.

Upon our arrival to the hotel we had been informed that we only had one bed in our room, which considering we were married wasn’t an issue. Although everyone else wasn’t to happy about this.

“Chris, can you come here please?” I called out from the bathroom slightly out of breath from struggling to zip my dress. “What’s up?” he said as he made his way through the door. “Could you please help me zip this dress, i can only get it halfway” “yeah of course baby”

He slipped behind me and slowly began zipping up the dress. Once he had finally zipped it all the way up he slid his hands around my hips and kissed the exposed skin on my shoulder and neck. “Chris we don’t have ti-“ “shh, I know, just trying to make a mental note of what’s happening when we get back” as if I hadn’t been turned on enough by the way his hands were roaming my body, the heat pooling in my underwear just grew more and more as he stood behind me and stared at us in the mirror.

Once we finally broke apart from each other and left the room, we made our way out to the limousine where many of our friends were sat waiting for us. “took you two long enough” Robert said as Chris climed and shut the door behind him. small talk was made amongst the group during the short ride to the event. The dress I was wearing was beautiful, and matched the green felt pants Chris had on

I had went for a felt dress as well, just so the colors would be a closer match.

Halfway there, Chris tapped on my thigh and pointed towards my phone. When i picked it up, I saw multiple messages from Chris all displaying the plans he had made for later that night.

“The way your body looks in that dress is making it hard for me to not take you right here in this car”

“you’re in for it when we get back, I can’t wait to taste you, hear those sweet noises you always make for me”

My eyes widened as I quickly turn the brightness down hoping no one was nosey enough to read the text. I shoot Chris a glare, one that says “seriously?” and he responds with his signature smirk.

Finally, after what had felt like forever, we arrived to the conference, the second we stepped out of the car Chris grabbed my hand and gave it a light squeeze, reassuring me it’s okay. This wasn’t my first, but I still have quite a bit of nerves every time. We make our way into the building after tons of pictures and quick “i love you” glances to one another. We both took our seats, which luckily were right beside each other. Eventually the question began and the small pool of anxiety grew.

“This next one is for y/n, we heard you two got married, congratulations!” I slightly adjusted in my chair and crossed my legs towards Chris before replying “yes, we did, thank you!” “Of course, now this may be some what personal-“ great. I glanced at Chris and could tell he was focused on the person asking and he didn’t look to happy about it. “So many people have been wondering, how is he in bed? We’re sure he’s fantastic but we want to hear it from the one who gets to experience it.” There it was. The dreaded question of how he was in bed. Although he was fantastic and you thoroughly enjoyed sex with Chris, it wasn’t something you cared to share with the public.

“well, listen I don’t want to come off as rude by saying this but i’m not sure that’s really any of yours, or anyone else’s business besides ours.” Chris was furious, his eyes had slightly darkened and his jaw was clenched keeping him from losing his mind. “Can we please move on?” my voice came out slightly smaller than I had wanted but at the moment I felt uncomfortable and upset.

Chris on the other hand was pissed. He hated how uncomfortable the question made you feel and wanted to beat the shit out of the man who asked it. Instead, he looked at you with a sympathetic look and you responded by mouthing “it’s okay”, because you knew if you didn’t, Chris would kill this guy.

Once everyone had asked their questions, and many laughs had been shared, the group made their way back to the hotel. Chris and you were the first people out of the car and after sharing your goodbyes, he grabbed you by the hand and the two of you stormed up to your room. Before a word could be spoken between you and him he had you pinned against the door. His lips were on yours in seconds. The kiss was hot and sloppy, but you didn’t care at all. “Chris” you breathlessly moaned his name out. he responded with a hmm and continued to work his lips against yours.

He pulled away, his lips red, puffy, and stained with your lipstick. “We need to get this thing off if you” was the first words he said, spinning you around and unzipping the dress painfully slow. “Could you go any slower?” you questioned, usually you would be patient, but on this specific night you were extremely horny and needed him more than ever. “If you keep having that attitude i’ll go even slower” once the dress was off of you, Chris picked you up bridal style and dropped you on the bed. “You are the only woman who gets to know how I am in bed, fuck everyone else” he began kissing down your body. He pulled you up slightly, bringing his hands up the clasp of your bra and undoing it. His hands began to grasp and squeeze every part of you that was exposed.

“Chris please” you begged, your tone was needy but you didn’t care. “please what sweetheart?” He teased, “I need you” “what do you need? use your words” he continued to tease you through your underwear. “Fuck Chris just fuck me already” That was all he needed to hear. He quickly undid his belt and dropped him pants and his boxers, exposing his hard dick, already leaking with precum. He pulled down your panties taking in the sight of you. “you’re so beautiful, and all mine” he said as he stroked himself a few times. He parted your legs and began to tease your entrance with his tip. “Chris, I swear if you don’t-“ he leaned down and kissed your lips, hard and rough as he slid into you. both of you moaning into each others mouths. “that’s it, good girl” he grunted as he stared to slowly move in and out of you “Please, faster” you moaned making him fasten his movements. The noises coming from the two of you were all you could hear, and you were sure everyone else on the floor could hear it too. “oh my god Chris” “Oh fuck i’m close baby” He grunted in your ear “you’re taking my cock so well, taking all of me, fuck you’re so tight” That only made you squeeze around him, moaning his name as if it was the only word you knew. “Chris please don’t stop, i’m so close” you moaned “cum for me, come on baby” he said as he slid his hand between the two of you and began rubbing circles on your clit. “This. This is confidential. No one gets to know what I do to you” “oh yeah, that’s it sweet girl, cum for me i know you want to” was all he said and it sent you over the edge. You were a moaning screaming mess as you and him finished at the same time. His body rolling off of yours as you both steady your breathing

“That was , that was amazing” you breathed out turning over to look at him “only the best for you my love. I love you” He said pulling you into him “I love you more” was the last thing you said before the two of you drifted off to sleep.

#chris evans #marvel #chris evans smut

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codenamesazanka · 19 days

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I might be delusional at this point, but i hope the bystander issue will be somehow addressed once shigaraki/tenko/whoever comes back. I feel like the jaku speech was such an important character moment that it has to be brought up again. saving the crying child might have only been the first step!

I'll be delusional with you, anon! There is indeed the fact that The Walk never showed up in the memories AFO showed Tenko/Shigaraki. And the problem wasn't just limited to Tenko - Hero Society did turn a blind eye to a lot of people and a lot of issues, and that pain is real.

But have this wild thought. What if the bystander issue is brought up again... but not quite in regards to Tenko?

So like. AFO is back and i know we all want him gone but—this is literally the last chance for the fact that HE WAS BORN AS A TRASH RIVER BABY BITTEN BY RATS to be addressed? That hey, people should've done something about that, back then, even when Heroes didn't exist yet.

I guess it would have to be Shigaraki who, as he's currently swallowed up by AFO, figures it out by seeing AFO's own memories and conveys it; and that's asking a lot of Shigaraki after what this guy did to him! ...But. Villains need a Hero of their own.

Endgames is a mess and a very smart friend told me before I shouldn't use logic. But Shigaraki has a pattern: Stain stabs him, but he learns from him anyways, used his name to continue to topple the status quo like they both wanted. Overhaul kills Magne, but Shigaraki preserved the bullets and even spared a thought to him at Jaku. ReDestro kidnapped Giran and tried to kill him and his League, but Shigaraki didn't kill him and included the MLA into his destruction plans.

Like, he no doubt would be glad to see AFO gone - kill the guy himself! - but point still stands. AFO fucks with his entire life... and Shigaraki aids in his defeat... but he thinks being a River Trash Rat Baby is pretty sad and unfair. So he demands the Heroes to address it. He wants to address it himself.

Villains need a hero of their own.

We know Shigaraki now has access to AFO's memories. AFO gave it to him to hurt him, sure, but the pathway is there. And right now he thinks Shigaraki is gone, so maybe Shigaraki is defused deep within him enough to go through any barriers between him and the memories. (However mindscape physics works, it made sense in my head, okay.)

This would be one way for the bystanders problem to come back to be addressed, should that ever be addressed 🙏🏼please🙏🏼begging horikoshi please🙏🏼. I had felt, after getting AFO's backstory, that AFO was a bit like Tenko during The Walk, but without the sympathy framing. But also just in general, like how AFO tried to recreate his own Hand trauma thing with Shigaraki. How AFO's motivation turned out to be 'intending on ruining every because he was ignored.' So they aren't as different in some of their feelings.

Finally, AFO's last thought before he rewound out of existence was that he wanted to be remembered by the world. Eyes on him, forever. He also wanted someone to just have cared about him, in a way. That's so sad, and should it be fulfilled (in that he's remembered as a cautionary tale), that's incredible kindness that he doesn't deserve... but that's what heroes do. They reach out and give some relief, even if the other person might not deserve or want it.

(or if you want, frame it as a fuck you to AFO. solve the problems of society, and you never need to worry about another AFO. forget AFO because that he and his tale becomes utterly irrelevant.)

This is far fetched. But here is one thought that's stuck with me.

Thanks for the ask!

#shigaraki tomura #All For One #bnha #mha #heroaca #anon #ask #asked #anonymous #answered #nalslastworkingbraincell

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commander-rahrah · 4 months

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Talking to the Moon: Part V

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Word Count: ~6200 Warnings: emotional hurt/comfort, arranged marriage, slight family angst aka daddy issues? I'm terrible at these

archiveofourown: here

masterlist: here

part I: here part II: here part III: here part IV: here

Summary: Set at the end of Act II, after Moonrise Towers and Kethric. Reader/Tav leans on Astarion and reveals more about their family and their story from before the Nautiloid.

Notes: I've emerged from my cave I made on the couch in my basement and finally finished this update! I got bronchitis a week or so ago and it kicked my booty, but I'm finally feeling better!! YAY! I have no voice still, but good thing I don't need that to write fanfiction!

So this update reveals more of our Selune blessed Tav's backstory that is based off my original D&D character. I was really hung up on whether or not I should include more backstory and lore for this GN!Tav/Reader, since it isn't very typical for a lot of the gn!reader fics I've read. But it was giving me such writers block if I did not include it, as I honestly have the rest of this fic completely planned out and the endgame I have for this pairing relies on more of this backstory, so I decided to include it! Also, its my fic… and my character sooo I hope you enjoy my baby and the little story I wrote for them five years ago. This character will have a special place in my heart forever, and I'm excited to share more of them with you all!

I also desperately wanted to include a scene of Astarion and Tav/Reader kissing for the first time since his confession and them setting boundaries about physical intimacy and contact. I know the game just lets you click the kiss option right away, but I like to think its something that Astarion would build himself up to again and would maybe even have to relearn — not kissing like it was a performance, but instead an expression.

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! It means so much to me and every time I see a notification! It fills me with infinite joy ♡♡♡ I know there is lots of posts circulating about this and tags get filled with it, but reblogs and comments are so so appreciated!! :)

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He wasn’t sure how you did it. Astarion was exhausted, beyond that actually — shattered. His feet were stiff and aching, his mind fuzzy with weariness. Yet you were still smiling, accepting the gratitude of every single person at the Last Light Inn with humble nods and smiles. He’d never had a longer day in his life. The temple, the Shadowfell, Shadowheart, Moonrise Towers, the goddamn Absolute. Gale... Gods, you had talked down Gale from fulfilling the desire and demands of an actual goddess. All in one day. All he wanted to do was to fall into a bed with you, and sleep. To just pretend for one moment that there wasn’t any marching armies or impending vampire masters waiting in Baldur's Gate. To ignore the thrum of anxiety and fear that coursed through him as he remembered exactly what was carved into his back — what Raphael had finally revealed to him. Just for today, he had wanted to rest. But no — the end of this never ending day was to finish with a celebration. An annoying, lively celebration. The vampire was being stereotypical as ever — standing in a shadowy corner, moody and silent as he nursed a red glass. It was wine. Gale had found a decadent bottle, buried away and forgotten about on some dusty shelf. The wizard had made an eloquent toast to the group gathered on the bottom floor of the inn. But he was now standing with Wyll — the two of them conversing politely with a pair of obviously flirtatious tieflings. Karlach had her arm wrapped around Damon, the two of them chatting enthusiastically and laughing. Astarion was surprised to not see Shadowheart by Karlach — the two of them inseparable as of late. No, what was more shocking was that the dark-haired cleric was sat next to Lae’zel. Their mouths barely opening as they spoke to each other in low voices, buried under the noise of the celebration in the inn. He almost choked on the sip he had just taken as his red eyes finally returned to you — where several people were forming a makeshift line to speak with you. The next one more bashful than the last as they leaned in to speak with you, all flushed cheeks and batting eyelashes. You always had a certain charm about you, an innate ability to draw out easy smiles and laughs from others. You were also undeniably attractive — anyone who said otherwise would be a blind idiot. But other people being enraptured by you had never bothered him before. He had just silently agreed with them — that yes, you were indeed a prize like no other. But you were his now, weren’t you? As he was yours. Even without the label or words that he still couldn’t figure out how to say. That he was too afraid to say. Regardless, why were you entertaining these fools?

He'd not felt this before — was it jealousy? Gods, he was being like a petulant child who didn't want to share their toy. You were a person, you could make your own decisions. That was the entire point of all of this.

What was he going to do — follow you around like a lost puppy? Drape himself over you, clutch onto you like a coat so others would see he was with you?

You must have felt his red eyes piercing through you as you suddenly flicked your eyes over to meet his gaze. Your face instantly brightened, a smile tugging on your lips. An overwhelming sense of relief went through him as you waved apologetically to the small group in front of you, before weaving your way over to his dark corner.

"Yes, darling?" He drawled as you approached, trying to hide any emotion betraying on his face as he tipped his wine glass in front of it and took another sip.

"Why are you hiding away in this corner? Not feeling like being paraded around like a hero?" You said sarcastically.

Astarion rolled his eyes at you, replying dryly, "I am many things, but a hero, I am not."

You leaned in conspiratorially, lowering your voice until it was just a whisper. "I would beg to differ. But you have a reputation to uphold, don't you?"

He barked out a laugh, before flicking you in the nose gently. "You cheeky pup."

"Ow." You feigned, scrunching your face up at him. "That hurt."

A wave of courage swept through him as he pushed back the little voice in his head. He leaned forward and pecked his lips onto the tip of your nose. He hoped the tingle that spread across his lips as they met your skin would spread to you. It seemed it did as your skin then flashed a delicious, brilliant shade from surprise. A tiny squeak even escaped you, your eyebrows shooting up.

You had not kissed, not since his confession. Not since all of this had started. Not a brush of lips against hands or cheeks, nothing. The look on your face and the sudden increase in the thrum of your heart had him feeling light headed. Did he truly have such an effect on you?

For a moment, he let his gaze from you lapse as he swept his eyes across the inn. To the disappointed glances of a few partygoers, and the knowing looks of his companions, watching the pair of you interact.

A flash of gratification went through him, satisfied at the effect he had not just on you but at those who had eyed you before. It squashed the jealously that had made a pit in his stomach, instead twisting it with a new, slowly recognizable feeling.

"There, all better?" He smirked.

You let out a breathy laugh, nodding at him.

Astarion rubbed his lips together, the tingling sensation on them lingering still. "How much longer does the Hero of the Shadowlands need to stay down here?"

You looked over your shoulder to the gathered patrons, the crowd thinning out more and more as the evening faded into a dark, late night. "Bored already?"

He let out a weary sigh, letting his shoulders droop. "Exhausted, darling. And I know you are too."

You were always a sight to see, holding a beauty he could have never imagined or conjured up in his head. But he could see the purple circles under your eyes, the usual sparkle in them had long gone dull.

Your eyes flickered to your boots, nodding your head in defeat. "You're right."

"I believe they have set some rooms aside for us, if you wish—"

"Do you?" You caught him off, trying to hide your own eagerness.

His gaze softened, a smile tugging on his lips, "Very much so."

The pair of you bid goodnight to your companions quietly, subtle nods and waves as they continued their own conversations or headed to their own rooms. Astarion walked slightly behind you on the stairs, his hand resting gently on the small of your back as you led the way. The path you took was familiar, the worn floor boards creaking before you were outside the private room the two of you had occupied once before.

Astarion let out a sigh of relief as he closed the door softly behind him, the sounds from the lingering party below muffled and leaving you in a peaceful quiet. But as he found reprieve in finally being alone, you suddenly crumbled.

You dived for the bed, a heartbreaking sob escaping you as your hands covered your face.

Your name choked out him before he crossed the room quickly and joined you on the edge of the mattress. Gods, what was it about this Inn and room that had you breaking apart on it? "Darling, what's wrong?" He asked, concern etching every feature.

"I- I, didn't-"

He remembered your words earlier today — gods, was that today? How comforting his touch was for you, being reminded of his presence. He placed his hand carefully on your own that was trembling on your thigh as you tried to speak.

You finally gasped out, "She wasn't there, she wasn't-"

Mol. The little tiefling girl. You had promised those rascal children downstairs you'd find her. And it was you who had told them she wasn't in Moonrise tonight, swallowing deeply as they dipped their heads with disappointment. But you had told them not to give up hope, that she was resourceful and strong. You had sounded so convincing that even he had believed you.

But here you were, sobbing and breaking apart in front of him. "Oh, sweetheart. Gods, I should have seen this, I'm sorry."

You sniffled, glancing up at him with wide eyes. "Why are you apologizing?"

He gave you a sad smile, his eyes shining with understanding, "I know you better by now. It was a mask you were wearing tonight...," He tucked a stray hair back behind your ear. "I hate it when you wear it."

"I just wanted everyone to be okay, I tried so hard..." Your voice cracked and broke.

"You've done so much, darling. Look at what we did today, that was because of you."

You always took care of everyone else. But who took care of you? Astarion thought, perhaps... him. He could… he would.

He had been.

"Oh my little moon, you don't have to carry the world by yourself, you know?"

You sniffled and nodded, silver still lining the bottoms of your eyes.

"May I?" He echoed the question you so often asked of him. You'd never touched him without asking the question first. Your consent you'd granted him was a separate conversation, one where you had told him casual, simple touches were okay. A silent conversation and agreement sometimes was exchanged with a look of your eyes. But with him, you had always asked. He thought that now he would return that favor to you, as you opened yourself to him — vulnerable and upset once again on the edge of this mattress.

He hoped you appreciated the sentiment, as much as he did.

The vampire reached down, hovering his hands over your boots. Your brows furrowed slightly before you were nodding. Your eyes never left his pale fingers as he untied the laces of your boots, gently prying them off before setting them down neatly at the foot of the bed. Then he did the same to his own before he slid his way up the bed, leaning against the headboard before patting the spot next to him.

"Come here."

You hesitated, before beginning to scooch over to him. When he opened his arms as a silent invitation you hesitated again. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Please come here." He nodded solemnly.

Astarion willed himself to keep steady and clear, drawing a breath he truly did not need. He enveloped you in his arms as you laid next to him, trying to stop his limbs for stiffening. It was all so foreign, it was terrifying.

But your familiar scent filled his nose, and he could feel the steady rhythm of your heartbeat with your chest pressed to his side. His fingers laxed as you settled into him, bunching into the material of your shirt. Your breaths started calming and eyes fluttering as you laid with him.

"Is this okay?" You whispered — uncertainty laced every word.

"I was just going to ask you the same thing." He said softly, before swallowing thickly. "I don't know what I'm doing." You started to remove your limbs his, but he tightened his hold on you. "Don't, please."

"Astarion if you aren't comfortable—"

"I am, it's not that." He rubbed the soft material of your shirt between his fingers as he spoke, "I want so badly to be this for you, to be what you need. But I don't know how."

You craned your neck up to look at him, "I think you're doing a good job of it."

He looked down at you through his long lashes, "Truly?"

"Yes, Astarion." You sounded genuine, "No one... no one has ever made me feel the way you do."

He let out a sigh of contentment, settling in deeper with you before resting his chin on the top of your head. "I know we have so much left to do... But laying here with you. It makes it worth it."

"Are you scared?" You asked in a whisper.

"Terrified, actually." He admitted.

Your thumb rubbed across his stomach in smooth lines back and forth, "I will be with you every step of the way."

"That's part of what makes it all so terrifying." The vampire whispered, "Sometimes, I know that I couldn't do any of this without you by my side. But other times... when Ketheric turned into that thing, that abomination, with you looking so small in front of him..."

"I know."

Astarion moved his head so he could look at your face, "You were right though."

"Hmmm?" You hummed.

"This is nice. Gods, when did I get so soft?" He chuckled, the movement of his chest vibrating your head until you joined him.

Both of your faces were etched with bliss and contentment as you laid in the bed. On this bed where before he had laid awake, willing himself to fall into a trance, convincing himself to keep his distance from you, trying to protect himself from the inevitably of you.

Now, you both fell asleep like that, still in your regular attire, wrapped in each other's arms with your head buried on his chest.

The stars caressing their moon.

• • •

The journey towards Baldur's Gate was turbulent and nerve-wracking while also... hopeful.

The group was buzzing with energy — the anticipation of returning to Baldur's Gate had made some of your companions restless in more ways then one.

You were all sat for a short rest, relaxing in a patch of long, green grass just off of the dirt road you were traveling on. It was just your group now, the other parties and groups had begun moving at different paces and times until it was just your familiar companions now.

Astarion was laid out in the grass, his head resting on your lap and your fingers absent-mindedly playing with his soft, white tresses. His eyes were closed, basking in the glow of the sun that was set high in the sky at this time of day. Occasionally the shadows on his face would bounce as his long lashes flickered, opening his eyes to glance at you with a dreamy expression on his face.

It made your movements stutter each time you noticed it. But the grip he had on your heart — that was steady and true. He had possessed you in a way you still could not articulate, even all these weeks later.

But you blinked back to reality as Gale's voice broke the silence. "You're a beautiful couple."

You looked up, a sheepish smile spreading across your face from being noticed. Astarion craned his neck, his red eyes rolling back to look at the wizard before settling back into your lap with a disinterested look crossing his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry... I'm made things awkward, haven't I?" Gale mumbled, his hands twirling with the blades of grass in front of him.

You couldn't help the blush that was spreading across your cheeks at the attention. Especially as you realized the rest of your companions were looking over with small smirks.

Gale continued as you remained silent, "I just meant that... Well, its nice to see my friends so happy. That's all."

"Thank you, Gale." Astarion drawled, readjusting himself so he laid deeper on your lap.

The wizard blinked in surprise, "You're welcome. Are you — is it a secret, or?"

"Not a secret, no." The vampire purred with a shake of his head.

"We are just taking our time." You finished, a soft smile growing on your face to match the one spreading across Astarion's.

"Hmm, that's nice." Gale trailed off, a wistful expression on his face.

Before the silence could really settle in again, the rest of the party started a conversation up.

"Won't be long now until we get to Baldur's Gate." Wyll said, his face hard to read.

"Are you nervous?" Karlach stretched her long leg, nudging him in the ankle playfully.

His mouth scrunched and nose crinkled, "I... I don't know how to feel."

"I can't fucking wait! I'll be able to show you guys my old stomping grounds!" The barbarian said excitedly, falling back dramatically into the grass with her limbs spread wide. She addressed you, shouting up to the blue sky, "What about you, Giggles? Excited to see home again?"

"Oh," Your fingers froze, hovering over Astarion's hair. "I had only lived in the city for just under a year. Home will always be in the north."

"The north? I don't think I've heard you speak of your home much." Shadowheart asked quietly, a quizzical look on her face.

"I, yes— near the Ice Spires." Your mouth twitched.

"You hail from a noble line, yes?" Gale asked. Everyone was eyeing you with curiosity, even Astarion still stretched out on your lap. His red eyes shifting slightly as he studied you.

You swallowed, painting on a polite smile before speaking, "My father is a Viscount. He is a formidable figure in the region."

"Ah." The warlock grimaced, his eyes sad. "Why do I get the feeling our stories are more similar than I realize?"

You bristled. "I'm not exiled or anything... It's just been some time. That's all."

"That's all?"

A humorless laugh escaped you, "I am a second born child. And my older brother is much more obedient and better suited to the game of politics than I am." You couldn't help the sad, bitter smile that spread across your face. The thought of home stung in more ways then one.

Astarion noticed how tense you had become, his hand squeezing your knee as he pushed himself up with a dramatic huff. "We are never going to get to the city if we sit here lounging all day."

You shot him a grateful look, and he gave you the slightest nod in recognition as he offered his hand to lift you up. He did so easily, brushing off blades of grass lingering on you both gently.

"You were the one complaining not long ago about how long we had been walking for!" Gale said, sounding completely exasperated as Wyll helped him up.

"Me? I said that? I don't think so." The rogue playfully scoffed, shaking his head so his soft curls bounced dramatically. He looked over his shoulder at you with a conspiratorial smile before stretching his hand out for you. His fingers intertwined with yours easily as he pulled you along the dirt path, away from the questioning and burning curiosity of the rest of the party.

• • •

Your group finally settled down for the night — picking a small clearing just off of the well-worn, dirt path you had been traveling down. Perhaps the last time you would be sleeping in the wilderness. You would be at Wyrm's Crossing by midafternoon tomorrow.

Astarion had set up your tent on the edge of camp, attempting to give you both some sense of privacy from your busybody companions. He knew they meant well, that they hadn't meant for this afternoon to turn into an interrogation. That, like him, they were just curious to know more about you. As kind and good you were to all of them, you were still somewhat of a mystery. You had revealed the origins of your powers to the group yes, but you rarely spoke about yourself or your home.

Not even to him.

The vampire had been content to let it lie. He knew it would come with time — and he certainly couldn't make any demands of you. Not after how gracious and patient you had been with him. But he couldn't deny that part of him wanted to know more. Astarion had somehow become an open book with you — revealing and exploring parts of himself that he had buried down so deep that he was surprised he could find them.

He worried that it all had been about him for so long. His trauma, his past, his goals. That maybe you had kept parts of yourself hidden away, on the back burner for him.

You had your back turned to him at the moment, the golden flickering of the candles in the tent illuminating the curve of your spine and freckles across your bare skin. Your muscles stretched and tensed beautifully as you lifted your arms over your head —pulling your nightclothes over yourself as you changed in the corner. It was a boundary that was set much earlier, that he had slowly started making less and less strict.

He wasn't ready for anything more yet — he knew that. But his red eyes couldn't help but roam your figure. He couldn't help the familiar sensation of want twisting low in his stomach, the twitch of his fingers at his side as he imagined running his fingertips over your soft skin again.

The smile you gave him as you turned around was dazzling, even in the dim light and tight space of the shared tent. You joined him cross-legged in the center of the tent, both of you not quite ready to go to sleep just yet.

He picked at his nail for a moment, trying to seem nonchalant as he opened his pink mouth to speak. "So... the Ice Spires?"

You raised a single eyebrow, a hard to read look crossing the rest of your features. "Yes?"

His fingers continued to fidget in front of him. "It's cold... all the time?"

"Not all the time. Our winters can be brutal though." You said with a scrunched nose.

"Oh, what a lovely sell. I can't wait to go now!" He said sarcastically.

"Ha." You laughed dryly, before your voice turned wistful. "It's beautiful honestly... I miss it."

The vampire studied your face as you undoubtedly saw visions of your home in your mind's eye. The edges of his lips curved up as he remembered your promise to take him there one day. He broke you out of your daydream with a quiet cough before he spoke again, "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want. But why did you leave there, darling?"

Your eyes flashed to the floor of the tent, your mouth forming a hardline. "Promise me you won't be upset?" Your voice was barely a whisper.

His eyebrows furrowed together at your reaction. He took two fingers, dipping them under your chin so you would look up at him. "Why would I be upset? You leaving home for whatever reason is why you are here now. With me."

Your eyes softened with his answer, before you nodded. Yet you still licked your lips nervously before speaking, "Well... you know that Selûne told my mother I would be destined for a different path then the life of nobility. My mother agreed to it all those years ago, both my parents knew and yet... they still hoped they could reel it all back in. That enough etiquette and language lessons would shape me into the perfect child they hoped I would be. But it was never me. I tried for them, I really did. Instead I started to fantasize about the people in our history lessons like they were characters in a book, and I spoke too loud and laughed at the wrong moment at dinner."

Astarion couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he imagined you as a child — your face round and soft with innocence, your brilliant smile with missing teeth. The havoc that you would have caused, racing down wealthy halls as you acted out scenes from your books and danced in an empty ballroom with your melodic laugh echoing in the space. A piece of himself he had long forgotten about twinged inside him. He couldn't remember his own childhood anymore — it was lost to the last two hundred years of darkness. But something warmed in him as he dreamed up what yours was like.

He snapped back to reality as you spoke again. "But I had a duty. I'm the second born, I wasn't being primed to one day take over for our father and run the keep, but I could be used in other ways. I've known of it since I was twelve."

His white brows furrowed again, "Known what?"

"When I became of age I would be married off to secure wealth and political ties with other territories. I'm engaged... technically." You admitted.

His eyes dropped immediately to your fingers, the several jewels that adorned them from the moment he met you. He had never thought anything of them — thinking they were an artful display of rings that matched your personality and appearance well. But there it was — a golden ring of much higher quality then the rest, with a large ruby sitting in the center of it. Gods, how had he missed that.

"Oh my gods. I'm a homewrecker." Then he burst out laughing, his head thrown back and his hands holding his stomach as he howled.

"Astarion, you'll wake up half the camp!" You leaned forward and hissed.

"I'm sorry, I just —" He let out between gasps of breath, "It's so funny. Of course the person I fall for is to be wed to someone else."

You joined his chuckles, shaking your head. "It is like a cliché plotline from some terrible drama."

"It is! Or like a punchline to some joke. Did you hear the one about the vampire and the fiancé?" You both laughed for a moment, before he clutched onto your hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"So you aren't upset?" Your voice a whisper again, uncertainty flooded every word.

"Upset? Darling, why would I be upset?"

You huffed out an exasperated breath, "Astarion, I just told you I am betrothed to another person."

"And you are on the other side of the continent from them. Not married. And sitting in my tent. Is this why you left?"

Your eyes widened in surprise, "Yes, we planned it all out actually— my betrothed and I."

"Really?"

You nodded, "They had also spent the last years troubling over it, attempting to delay it for as long as possible."

"I'm assuming getting kidnapped by mind flayers was not apart of that plan?" He said with a smirk.

"Definitely not. I so badly wanted to travel, to see the world outside of our keep I'd known my whole life. So... they insisted to my family that they needed a spouse that was learned and well-traveled. That I could enroll in a college to become a more suitable match."

Astarion raised a white brow, "And that worked?"

"It did. I think my father was so desperate for it all to work out that they just agreed."

"And how did you attending a college lead you to Baldur's Gate so many miles away from home?"

You let out a dry chuckle, "I will say that I did go to the college like I intended. I lasted a week. Just long enough to purchase supplies and stationary from the college before paying for a spot on the next wagon out of Silverymoon."

"Stationary?"

"I've been sending letters home for the past year, using stationary from the college so my family believes I'm still there studying and being a model citizen."

He raised his eyebrows, a smirk spreading across his lips. "I'm impressed. That's very conniving... I didn't know you had it in you."

You smiled sheepishly, your fingers twisting in your lap. "I'll admit it was a clever idea. I ran out of supplies about a month before the Nautiloid."

He pursed his lips as he finally understood, "They haven't heard from you since then?"

You shook your head, "No. I imagine my father has sent some of his men to check on me, and they have long discovered that I took back my tuition deposit and left months and months ago."

"This whole time we were worried about a vampire master storming our camp, when really it could have been a disgruntled father or worried mother finding us?"

A large exhale left your nose as you shook your head, "Oh, my father would never come himself. He would just send his second-best men and a strongly worded letter ordering me back home. My mother though... I can only imagine how she betrayed and worried she feels."

The vampire squeezed your hand again before running his thumb along the backs of your knuckles. "Why did you never tell me this?"

"Astarion, the hardship and abuse that you went through...," Your eyes shined with pain, "My story is nothing compared to yours."

"Your story is not nothing." He shook his head, his voice earnest. "Your story is you — and you are everything. Never spare parts of yourself from me."

"Even the messy parts that years of etiquette lessons couldn't train away?"

He let out a breathy laugh before smiling at you, "Especially those parts, my lovely moon."

"You have gone soft on me, Starry." You teased before matching his smile.

• • •

After another day of travel, you stood in the abandoned castle in Wyrm's Crossing, bracing yourself on the stone wall. The skyline of Baldur's Gate could be seen from here, the distant sound of the bell's ringing heard even from here.

Your party had finally made it — after all of these weeks. You would walk the familiar cobblestone streets of Baldur's Gate tomorrow. The familiar scents and sounds of vendors and citizens, the bustle and crowds would be so different from the wilderness and forests you had been traveling through.

The group's energy was buzzing as you settled for camp in the abandoned castle — a strange mixture of excitement and nerves. Astarion hadn't hidden his feelings with you — his anxieties and insecurities surfacing with every step closer and closer to the city limits. With every step closer to Cazador and his ritual. Hundreds of different ideas were bouncing around his head, you could tell.

Yet your confession to him last night was still replaying in your head, especially as your stared at the ring on your left finger — the red gem catching the light. You weren't sure why you wore it anymore. A habit, you guessed.

The sound of purposeful, shuffling feet announced that you were no longer alone. Craning your neck you looked over to see the man who normally consumed your thoughts, climbing the stone steps that led up to the falling apart battlements you stood on.

"What are you doing up here, darling?"

"Just taking a moment." You admitted as you loosed a heavy breath. "And you?"

"Oh, just over pretending to be interested the idle chat by the fire." Astarion waved his hand, before sliding in next to you. He braced his elbows onto the edge looking out over to the skyline. You watched him take a deep steadying breath, his eyebrow crinkled with worry for a moment.

You fiddled unconsciously with the golden ring on your left hand as you watched him. The movement caught the vampire's attention, his red eyes snapping to it before looking up at you. He chewed the inside of his lip, before speaking, "Can I ask you a question?"

Your stomach tightened with sudden nerves, "Of course."

"This wedding... Your arranged marriage."

"Hmm?" You hummed.

His pale throat bobbed as he swallowed, "Would you have gone through with it? If there was no Nautiloid, no tadpole — none of this. Would you have gone through with the arrangement?"

A heavy sigh escaped you as you pushed your elbows off of the stone edge and stood up, "I would have... I would have tried. It felt inevitable before — inescapable."

He shifted around, so he was facing you — standing to his full height and looking you in the eyes. "And now?" He whispered, his long fingers reaching to brush the insides of your wrist lightly.

"Astarion... I never could have imagined any of this. I spent my whole life fantasizing and daydreaming of an escape and grand adventure. Nothing I've dreamed up has ever come close to being with you. I have fought mind flayers and ogres, refused Gods and marched across the country so that we can keep going. So that we can have a chance. I will take my father's disappointment and wrath for ruining his plans for financial security."

"Heh — We can add him to the list of people we've angered along the way." He joked, but his eyes were glimmering with unspoken emotion after your declaration.

You studied the handsome man before you, your lips parting slightly as you took him in. He was radiant in the moonlight, his white hair and pale skin shining. The way his usually sharp eyes softened and rounded as he looked at you.

Gods, you loved him. You had known for sometime now that you did. The words had been crawling up your throat, lingering on your tongue and swirling in your mind for days. But you would be patient for him.

One side of his pink mouth turned up, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Your head cocked to the side, "Like what?"

"You..." He seemed like he was at a loss for words for a moment. He shook his head at himself, before he admitted in a whisper, "They way you look at me... you make me feel like I'm poetry."

"You are, Astarion." You said simply. Courage suddenly flooded through you. You knew you would be fine, no matter how he answered. You wouldn't dare rush him. But you wanted to ask tonight. "May I — May I kiss you?"

He blinked in surprise before his red eyes flicked down to your lips and he unconsciously licked his own. Then he locked eyes with you, nodding breathlessly. "Yes," He whispered back, his long lashes fluttering. "Yes."

Moving your hands up slowly and gently, your fingertips gripped the side of his strong jaw. You heard his breath sharpen as you moved your face to meet his — slowly, giving him time and space, allowing him to change his mind and pull away. But he didn't. Instead his eyes closed softly, his head tilting towards yours as he waited for you to kiss him. Then your lips locked as your mouth pressed softly against his, carefully as you waited to see if he would kiss you back. A low noise escaped you as you felt his lips press harder against yours, returning the kiss.

You had long thought of your first kiss with Astarion in the woods near the Druid's Grove all that time ago. You thought you had memorized the sweet taste of him on your lips, the scent of leather lingering from his armor and groans that made the hairs on your arms stand up.

But this — this was so different. Not practiced, not ritualistic like he so often said.

This new first kiss was so painfully soft and tender. He tasted like wine, rosemary and honey. His hair softer then you remembered as your finger toyed with the curled tips at the base of his neck. The happiest of sounds escaped him as he parted his lips for you, allowing you to deepen the kiss as your tongue slid across his teeth. You both stood like that for a moment, relishing in the feeling until you both felt dizzy. Your lips stuck together slightly as you pulled away. His forehead was pushed against yours, like he was no longer content to not be touching you.

Astarion's eyes were ablaze in the moonlight as he looked at you, his mouth falling open as he caught his breath. "Again. Kiss me, again.” “Starry?” You asked, your brow twitched. “Kiss me. Please. I miss it, I've missed you." One of his hands gripped the tip of your chin as you moved your mouth back towards him, halving the movement as he pulled you back in for another kiss. The other intertwining with yours in between you, squeezing your fingers gently.

His sharp teeth dug into your bottom lip, causing a shudder to run down your spin. "Slow down, my love." Your groaned out.

"I have — weeks of this — to catch up on." His voice was breathless and he continued to interrupt his own words as he pressed lips to yours over and over.

You pulled away, studying his face — the skin around his mouth pink from kissing, a slight flush crossing his complexion. But his eyes were fixed on you, filled with want and need. "I'm not going anywhere, Astarion. We have time."

"Good. " He beamed, resting his forehead on yours again as you both breathed each other in. The two of you silhouetted on the crumpling battlements as you held on to each other for a moment longer.

Read Part VI here

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