I think one of the scariest parts of capitalism is how it encourages a sort of moral apathy. Sure a lot of powerful people do bigoted things because they are, in fact, hateful bigots. But a lot of them might vote for and back right-wingers not because they personally hate minorities or want the world to burn but because the right-wingers will give them tax cuts and remove regulations and hey, thats just good business! Social media don’t put radical alt-righters on vulnerable people's timelines because the people running the site believe in those ideals and want to radicalize people, but because it triggers engagement, makes you stay logged on longer and makes them more money. They don’t ban queer people and adult content because they give a shit but because said content might scare off advertisers; advertisers are scared off not because they give a shit but because they want to appeal to as many people as possible to make more money. And there’s the reverse of this, too: when they see that it’s more profitable to be diverse and inclusive, that’s the content they push, not because they give a shit, but because it makes more money.

Big corporations aren't alone in this, either. Drama channels and the like don't arise because the people running them personally hate everyone they go after and try to get cancelled; a lot of the time, they just see that this sort of content gets the views and the money. And because they do bigoted things not out of political reasons but for economical ones, they convince themself it’s somehow neutral. Smart, even! Just good business. The world and its people are a tool for them to use and throw away as they see fit, and the fact that so many of the world's most powerful people think like this is terrifying.

There’s no other word for it - MTFL fanfic (Noah x MC)

Summary: Charlie finally thinks over her three pursuers from the start of the year. When it comes down to it, there’s only one person she has her eyes for.

Author’s note: This fanfic is about MC/Mason/Ava/Noah with her eventually choosing Noah. Consider yourself warned!

Honestly, by this point i’m so tired 😂 (we all are). But at the same time I don’t think that the writers will handle it well. At this point it’s not like MC can draw names from a hat and be like ‘Yep, I like X’.

Yes, we the reader has made our decisions a while ago, but the MC keeps to actively pursue 2-3 people and ‘needing time’ and this has been going on for too long.

But in the story, the writers probably won’t address the fact MC has, in fact, been leading them on. Or explain the reasons why eventually, she didn’t choose two out of the bunch. 

Idk, this is what makes sense to me, at least, with the direction they’re taking it with.

I definitely want to write at least one more fanfic about MC being all into Noah. (while maybe pursued by Mason/Ava). We’ll see about that.

Charlie was lying on her bed, her head swirling with thoughts.

She was honestly tired and dissapointed. She felt like a bad person. Leading not two but three people who were really important to her this year.

“Are you still beating yourself up about what happened earlier?” Mack popped into her room, leaning against the doorframe.

Yep. There was another fight today.

Nothing got physical, thankfully, but Mason and Noah did clash when trying to decide who should build something with Charlie for Winter Wonderland and went their seprate ways. 

Not only she didn’t get to spend time with either of them, she hated to see them hurt. Especially since she knew she was the one causing their pain. 

Ava was there too. She just rolled her eyes and continued to work on her own project.

Charlie sighed. “That obvious, huh?” She faked a smile, but it didn’t fool Mack.

Mack entered her room.

“I can hit you with some old cliche’s like ‘oh if you love two people always choose the second because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for another one’.” Mack said the entire sentence with a mocking tone.

Choosing the second...? What about the third? Charlie’s head was about to explode. Mack didn’t even know Ava was one of the options, too now.

“You say that with such a mocking tone. Do you think otherwise?” Charlie shook her head and tried to focus. She looked up at her sister.

“Well, the truth is you can crush on muliple people at once, and that’s fine. But at this point... I don’t think you’re crushing anymore. I think you’re just afraid to make a desicion.” Mack explained.

For being her younger sister... Mack did bring a wise take.

“Anyway, gotta bounce.” Mack winked at her and got out of her room, closing the door behind her and leaving Charlie to her thoughts.

... Afraid to make a desicion? What does that even mean?

But the more Charlie thought about it... The more it made sense.

Charlie did feel like if she chose one of them, any of them... She’d lose the other two.

Which was ridiculous, right?

But... Honestly. Not that ridiculous. But if they stop being her friends just because she didn’t choose them... It really says something about them, not her, right?

Charlie gulped. She realized it was the first time she let herself dwell on it.

Up until now, whenever she thought she was ready to make a desicion, she was just acting based on a person’s last actions towards her. She didn’t give it much thought, other than that.

Which was... A jerk move on her part, admittedly. 

But she was so used to pleasing people her whole life. Especially after her mother... Passed away.

Her entire cheerleading career was a great example of that.

But now, when it got down to it, who did Charlie really want...?

She thought about all three of her options. 

Mason, her childhood crush.

She loved him for forever. But when she thought about it right now... Has she really been in love with him? Or did she live in that fantasy world long enough to convince herself she was still in love with him now?

Noah, the bad boy with heart of gold.

Noah was there for her when other people weren’t, despite only getting to know her at the start of this year.

And he just seemed to... Get her.

Ava, her best-friend.

Admittedly, Charlie wasn’t a good friend to Ava lately. She screwed up, big time.

And Ava was still willing to take her! To accept her apology.

Not to mention... Charlie liking girls was... New. She never really felt that way before towards girls. But with Ava it was so easy...

This new year was all about discovring and exploring herself, Charlie realized.

Not only because she realized she also like girls, but because she never really had a boyfriend before, either.

(One that counted, anyway. Bobby from elementry school didn’t count. Yikes.)

Her Freshman year went in a blur. After that, she wasn’t really into someone.

She continued crushing on Mason from afar. 

Now she was wondering whether she never came clean about her feelings towards him back then because she prefered for it to be that great love story she built in her head rather than him being her actual boyfriend.

And Ava... It was new and exciting, but also in the same time when Charlie thought about loving Ava, she realized it was more of a platonic love. Yes she was atrracted to girls and Ava was stunning, but Charlie’s feelings for her didn’t run deeper than that. And that’s definitely not a good enough reason to date her, was it?

The only person Charlie couldn’t find a different word to describe her feelings for was... Noah.

Noah.

She loved Noah.

Oh my god.

Did she really just make her desicion?

She was so terrified to make it earlier but now that it was out in the open (figuratively, obviously) Charlie couldn’t understand how she hadn’t made it sooner.

She felt such a relief.

And joy. Her heart fluttered in her chest just thinking of Noah. He filled her chest with a warm feeling.

Charlie turned to her phone, and took it out of the charger.

She opened one of her chat windows, one she often chatted with.

‘I just realized.... I’m freaking in love with you’ - Charlie typed, but didn’t plan on sending it. It was too direct, too rash. She should tell him she has made her desicion and meet up with him in person, and then confess ---

SHIT. shit shit shit shit. Did she really just accidentally hit ‘send’?

Can the ground swallow her up right now? It would be less embarassing than what just happened and--

New Notification.

Charlie braced herself, the suspence was killing her. She peeped at the message.

‘Took you long enough. Be in your place in fifteen 😉😎🥰’ - Noah

996.

5k Survey LXVI

3351. True or false: When someone hates you it is because: they're jealous of you? the things you say are frightening to them because what you say makes them think about things they would rather avoid thinking about? they don't understand you? >> It could be any of those reasons, sure, but sometimes it really is about you, lmao. Sometimes you really can straight-up do something that makes someone else royally pissed off at you and you can choose to take responsibility for it or not. 3352. True or false: When you hate someone it is because: you're jealous of them? the things they say are frightening to you because what they say makes them think about things you would rather avoid thinking about? you don't understand them? >> I don’t hate anyone, per se, but there are people I’ve disliked for the first and third reasons (not too sure about the second, can’t think of any examples). I don’t make it their problem, though, because it obviously has more to do with me than them. 3353. Have you ever been fascinated by someone who hated you? >> I don’t know. Gonna guess not, but it’s possible, I guess. 3354. Since the human brain has defense mechanisms against feeling bad (meaning the brain lies to itself to avoid feeling bad about something it said or did) how can we ever know if we are truly being honest? How do we know our brains are not tricking us into believeing we are good people when we aren't all good?/ >> Well, I don’t bother with considering myself “good” in the first place, so at least there’s that. Being aware of the defenses and rationalisations that the brain invents to protect itself helps to remind me that just because I see a situation one way doesn’t necessarily mean that the other person’s viewpoint (where I was in the wrong) is wrong either.  3355. How highly do you value innovation? >> I mean, not very? I like technology and shit but there are a lot of other things I wish society would focus on more intensely.

3356. Is there a name where all the people you've ever met haveing that name had something in common with each other(ex. all the jens you've ever met had blue eyes)? >> I don’t know, I’ve never thought about this and it would take a lot of effort to try and think of a pattern like that right now. 3357. Are you focused more outward or inward? >> Inward. 3358. What is the most affectionate nickname you ever came up with for someone? >> Liebling is probably the most affectionate thing I’ve called someone. 3359. Are the questions STILL still interesting this deep into the survey? >> The ratio of interesting to not-interesting questions is definitely skewing more towards the latter as it goes on. For me, at least. 3360. If someone else makes their desicions based on their intuition instead of on facts and proofs what do you think of that person? >> I think of people on a case-by-case basis, and this isn’t a detailed enough example for me to make a judgement. 3361. Do you trust your own intuition? >> I don’t know if I have any. 3362. Finish the phrase... danger is the: just keep: never trust: the way I live my life: don't change: maybe someday: 3363. Would you rather live in Frodo's world or Harry Potter's? >> I find Tolkien’s realm far more interesting than Rowling’s. That isn’t to say I’d want to live there, though... well, maybe if I could be an elf... or a Maiar. IDK. 3364. Do you believe that the dead are with us? If yes in what form? >> I haven’t formed an opinion. I, personally, have had no encounters with the dead that I know of (aside from Inworlders, of course). 3365. Do you believe that those who haven't been born are with us? If yes, in what form? >> I’ve never even thought about this. That, I think, would make slightly less sense. 3366. Are you made of timid stuff? >> I don’t think so? 3367. Is there anyone in this world who is not CRAZY? >> --- 3368. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? >> Short. 3369. Can you mashed potatoe? Can you do the twist? >> I can do the latter but not the former. 3370. What does your family do for thanksgiving..or if you don't celebrate it what do you picture when you think of thanksgiving? >> Sparrow and I go to her parents’ house for Thanksgiving. Otherwise, I’d be perfectly content to not celebrate it at all (except to watch the parade highlights online, I guess, because I do still have a soft spot for that stupid thing). 3371. What is your earliest memory? >> Mehhh. 3372. Have you ever taken an IQ test? What'd you get? What do you think of those things? >> I was given one as a child, but I was never told the results. Which is just as well, because I grew up to despise the entire concept anyway. 3373. How do you make 'fishcakes'? Put the potatoe in the fish... >> What? 3374. Which is the better band..the offspring or the damned? >> I don’t care about “better”. I’m not familiar with The Damned (I know what they look like but not what they sound like), but I quite like The Offspring. 3375. Do you ever think about world destruction? >> Not really. 3376. Do you think humans are becoming more robotic? >> No????? 3377. Do you think we'll ever be replaced by robots? >> That’s a really absurd concept to me, if I’m honest. 3378. What do you feel a part of? >> Er. 3379. Does it freak you out to know that yogurt is ALiVe?? >> No, dude... 3380. What current band do you think is doing something particularly interesting or innovative? >> Obviously my fave, Zeal & Ardor ~ 3381. Golf course, do you remember? >> What... 3382. Which is more important, books and cleverness or friendship and bravery? >> ... 3383. If i promise to miss you, will you go away? >> ........ 3384. stool, ball, powder...Can you think of a 4th word that connects these three? >> No. 3385. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? >> Hm. 3386. Why are blondes considered 'dumb'? >> I don’t know how that got started, but you could always google it. 3387. What's more important..intuitiveness/creativity or factual knowledge and practicallity? >> Why would one be more important than the other? 3388. Who are the two worst terrorists you can think of? >> ... 3389. What is jello made of? >> Bones. *shrug* idk, man. 3390. Pick a country: What do you believe is wrong with that country? >> Wow. 3391. Do you have strong opinions? >> Not usually. 3392. Do you do what it takes to stand up for those opinions? >> If I manage to have an opinion about something, I don’t see why I would need to fight with anyone about it. If someone has an opposing opinion that makes me feel unsafe (you know, racist opinions, that sort of thing), then I make sure not to deal with those people. 3393. Have you ever been to a rally, protest or demonstration? If yes was it effective and in what ways? >> Yeah. I don’t know if it was effective or not, it was so long ago I don’t even remember what it was for. 3394. When people say, 'yeah it sucks but there's nothing I can do' do you believe them? >> I mean, yeah? A lot of things aren’t in the average person’s control. 3395. Do you know what you can do to make this world a better place? Do you care? >> I’m not out to make this world a better place. Not to say that I want to actively make it worse, I just... am not focused on the world. I’m focused on my immediate life. 3396. Why is peace so important anyway? Why is freedom important? >> ... I mean......... 3397. As long as you have your house and your family and you can go to the movies and the mall who cares about peace and freedom. Right? >> That’s not my point of view, no. 3398.Do you try to avoid anything involving work? >> Kind of, lmao. 3399. If you are not actively wrking to stop the horrors and injustices of the world (war, hunger, poverty) than aren't you partially responsible for them? >> I don’t know, dude. Maybe I am. We’ll see how my points add up on Judgement Day, I guess. 3400. Are you in denial? >> About what?

jjh - together

words: 2.1k

tags: fluff, slight!angst, domestic!au, dad!jaehyun

warning: a bit of sexual content? Not really tho bcs I’m weak

a/n: THIS IS LIKE THE LONGEST ONE I MADE THIS YEAR and I enjoyed writing this so much maybe because its dad!jaehyun uwu

Oh yeah, this is written based on miss Desirée’s blurb on @nctream (she is like the most amazing babe you should check her out and shower her with love and support she also loves meme isnt she’s just perfect uwuuuu)

“I’ll do the dishes. It’s your turn to put Her Majesty Princess Jung of the Southern Isles to bed.”

Jaehyun gave you his dimply smile as your daughter mimicked the same gesture. They got up from the dining seats as soon as you left to put on your apron and rubber gloves. Jaehyun collected their plates and put them in the sink. He wishpered I love you into your ear as he stroked your side before he left to carry the girl in a pair of banana pajama in his left arm and leaving the other free to hold a fluffy stuffed animal.

“I’m not a princess anymore, Mama. I’m an astronout!” Missy exclaimed, head rested on her father’s broad chest.

“What? I’m sure you were a princess this morning.” You turned around to them with your ‘shocked’ face. “Where is my princess now?”

“I want to find a moon bunny Papa told me!” You laughed and nodded, raising both your hands as a sign that you were defeated.

Jaehyun kissed the tip of her head, “Alright baby girl, time to sleep. Let’s give Mama some goodnight kisses.”

You held up your chin. They walked closer toward you and smooched your cheeks at the same time. “Nighties Mama.” She waved you her small hand as they strolled away to the staircase. “Good night, sweet pumpkin.”

You got back to your chores. Letting the tap water soaked the dishes before you brushed them one by one with a soaped sponge. Taking your time with the activity, you let your mind wandered around what had been going on so far today. You got up first in the morning, woke Jaehyun up and made him check on Missy in her room next to yours. They did joined you minutes after you were done making Jaehyun’s morning coffee and the three of you had breakfast; some toasted whole wheat breads, sunny side ups and baked beans. And of course you prepared lunch box for your little now-an-astronout princess. Then you did took a quick shower before you left the house for work.  

It was routine you wouldn’t miss for the whole world.

On the other side, things at work were just demanding more and more of your attention. You worked for a renowned law firm as a senior lawyer. Your master degree indeed earned with real passion and talent. The job paid you real good money, but it also paid you cruel amount of pain in your head at times like this.

A fresh graduated intern who were chosen to assist you for the next quarter year decided to shoved half of your Attorney-Client Privilege papers you had been working on for couple weeks down the shredder. Not to mention how he messed up a joint representation meeting that afternoon. You knew you shouldn’t had blame him so much because he was an intern after all, and interns tend to make mistakes as they learn and grow from experience. But you couldn’t help comparing him to you; a perfectionist worker, barely made any mistake at work.

And to avoid all the problems happening at work, you decided to came home early (you knew it was rather cowardly, but better than to channel your anger there and cause a ruckus). So you chosed to relaxed a bit by cooking dinner, took a bubble bath with Missy (which you hadn’t done for a long while), and actually sent the nanny home early. 

Jaehyun was surprised when he saw you were home before him. But it was only for a moment until you had your meals together with laughters shared throughout the good hour spent in the dining room.

Missy told you how she painted a really big frog for her art class at the pre-school, and how her friends envied her for having a cutely arranged lunch box. She told you about her trips to school with Jaehyun as he took her there every morning. And it made you feel guilty.

You knew it had been both you and Jaehyun’s desicion to take turn to do everything involving Missy. But lately you felt Jaehyun was the one to do it all. You thought you got so busy with works and it made you grew apart from your task as a mother.

There were nights when projects and works got the best of you, so you didn’t got to spend them with your little family at home. Yes you prepared breakfast for them, you guys had small talk in the morning before all of you off to your own activities, but at night when you were home you had your daughter already asleep in her room.

Jaehyun might spared you hours to talk through the night or for your marriage intimacy, wishpering to your skin that it was okay for him to wait for you. But some nights were just too tiring for both of you to do anything and just slept on your side of the bed. It might not be every single night you came home late, but the idea of your little one forgetting how you put her to bed or sing her lullaby or simply being with her broke you a little inside.

You knew Jaehyun could sense your worries, that was why he kept sending you a soothing gaze across the dining table previously.

Jaehyun was a good—no, good is an understatement. He was a perfect husband. Screw those who said no one is perfect, you had one as your partner for more than five years and you knew, you knew no other word than perfect could fairly described him. Before you met him, you thought no other guy could ever compete with your work ethic. You lived long enough in a belief that no man would want a workaholic woman as a lifetime partner. But then Jaehyun came along.

You met Jung Jaehyun at your last year of internship at some attorney corporation party, and he was still a doctor in the making at that time. Your senior at your law school introduced you to him, a future town’s best cardiothoracic surgeon.

Long short story, he made you fall in love with him. And so he did head over heels in love with you. He was, you could say, like no one else. He was able made you realized that there was nothing to compete about if you love each other. He changed your long-believed belief that a workaholic just need an understanding partner. Like he understood every situation you had, like he was always know when you didn’t feel best. There was no time when he wasn’t there for you when you needed him. He was the one who make your worst day worth living.

Oh, how you would never take him for granted.

And it bugged you a lot that you thought you were the one who couln’t keep up with him now. Did Jaehyun really deserve a wife like you?

A pair of arms slinked around your waist brought you back to reality, turned out you had already finished washing the dishes. Jaehyun kissed your nape softly as you giggled. “You surprised me, Jae.”

“You didn’t hear me coming around?” You hummed and shook your head as you took off the gloves and Jaehyun did you a favor by untying the apron’s string. “Thinking about something else?”

You didn’t answer, instead, you spinned around and latched your arms around Jaehyun’s neck. His brown eyes stared down at yours, equally warm. He brought his lips closer and halted when they hovered milimiters above your lips, smiling as he rubbeb the tip of his nose to yours.

“It was just stuff at the office, nothing big.” You gripped the end of his hair. “How was your day at the hospital?”

“There was a transferred patient from a neighbor hospital. He needed a transfussion they couldn’t provide so we took over,” Jaehyun blew you a sweet kiss. “Nothing major.”

“No big surgery you have to perform?”

“One on Tuesday, I’m gonna lead an aneurysm repair. Other than that one are just CABGs. I’ll supervise the residents,” You smiled to his neck, blowing hot breath as you kissed it slowly. “You wanna talk about it in the shower?”

“Mm-mm, I had a bath with our baby already.”

“Oh right,” Jaehyun let out a chuckle. “Missy did mentioned how you guys took bubble bath together today,” He kissed you gently, you smiled between the kiss. “None of my girls bother inviting me to a bubble bath party anymore.”

You broke away, a grin plastered on your face. “Sorry, I didn’t know I’d be home so early.” You dragged your fingers through his hairs, kissing him back in the same manner as before. You leaned back, resting your tailbone to the cold sink.

“Things happened at work?”

Jeahyun regretted asking you that question because a second later, you broke the kiss away. This time you even pulled your arms from his neck, fingers drew straight lines down his ocean wide shoulders. No words spoken between the two of you during that roughly fifteen seconds moment. Jaehyun watched you closely as you started to open your mouth to speak. “You can talk to me...”

You inhaled, “Do you think I’m a bad mother?”

“And how did you get that silly idea?” Jaehyun frowned. Although his words are lighter, his expression held a deep concern.

You groaned out of frustration, still in your husband’s embrace. “I know we’ve talked about this. And I know you would never not support me nor go against me upon my decision to work after having Missy.

“But I can’t help feeling like a bad mother. I worked my whole damn days instead of being in the middle of you guys.” You sobbed, Jaehyun drew soothing infinity circles on your back. “I know I still go to every parent-teacher conferences, I know I made her breakfast and lunch for her and you. But I don’t want to grow apart from our baby, from you. From our family.

“But things are just, I dont know Jaehyun, messy? I feel so bad for not being there for you when you got home from work most nights. For not being here when Miss got back from school.” You couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down your face, “That’s, that’s not what a good wife do. Even my Mom told me to just quit my job and raise Missy properly.”

“Hey, come here,” Jaehyun laid his palm flat on the back of your head and pulled you in. He hushed you down before he said, “You would never ever be a bad mother for Missy. And you would never ever be a bad wife for me, okay?” you silently cried yourself out on his chest, afraid of waking your little sleeping beauty upstairs. “Maybe you don’t do what most mothers or wifes do. But it doesn’t make you a bad one. Just because the society wants to make you feel bad, doesn’t mean you’re doing bad. And working harder doesn’t make you love us less, honey.

“You’re the best Missy and I could ever ask for in our entire life.”

You engulved Jaehyun in a tight hug, keeping him in your arms like it was your last. You sworn, God sent Jaehyun to completed you. To entangle you in his summer-like embrace everytime you felt the cold that is your problems almost killed you. To ensure you that everything’s going to be alright everytime the weight of the world is on your case.

“I know your parents and mine are sometimes being too intervening. But I know they meant well, darling.” Jaehyun kissed your temple. “But you are Missy’s mother and I’m her father. We’re the one to decide how to raise her properly. Together. And I know we’ve done a great job seeing how sweet and caring she has become.”

You pulled yourself away. You smiled at him, erasing the sticky stain your tears left on your cheeks with the back of your hand. Jaehyun cupped your face, his eyes scanning all of your features one after another longingly.

“You’re so beautiful, angel.”

You brought your lips to his, molding them in yours as your fingers busied themselves unbuttoning Jaehyun’s white shirt. You could feel his hand at the base of your hips, caressing them softly yet invitingly. You knew you’d have to wear that turtle neck sweater to work, but you didn’t care at all. All you wanted now was for Jaehyun to draw galaxy across your body you’d have to cover tomorrow. But tonight, tonight you wanted him.

“Jaehyun,” you wishpered and he murmured against the kiss, “I don’t think three baths a day would hurt anyone.”

You did ended up with three baths that day; one quick shower in the morning, one bubble bath with your astronout princess, also one long and hot shower with your husband. And as the night rolled itself into dawn with you beside Jaehyun, you knew you made your best desicion by saying yes to his proposal years ago. Because now you knew, if it weren’t him and you together, you could never make it.

5,000 question survey series--part thirty-five

3301. When someone is 'crazy' why do we call them 'nuts' or 'fruitcakes'? Yeah, I don’t know how those sayings got started. I often wonder how a lot of our sayings and such got started.

3302. What's the dillio? *shrug* 3303. Where did the slang term 'dillio' come from? Isn’t it “dealio” as in, “what’s the deal” or “what’s going on?” 3304. How many even whole numbers are there between -5 and 5? 4. 3305. What words can you make useing only these letters: E N O? No, eon, on, one.

3306. What's the differance between foods that are low fat and foods that are lite? I feel like lite refers to lite everything and not just fat? I don’t know, I really don’t pay much attention to that. 3307. White or brown rise? I don’t like rice. 3308. Can you be content if you are physically uncomfortable? I can’t, no. 3309. What is the differance between discomfort and pain? Discomfort is more mild. 3310. What is the most uncomfortable thing you can think of? For me it’s being hot. That’s more like miserable than uncomfortable, but yeah. 3311. What do these names make you think of: britney spears? “Toxic.”

walt whitman? “I Sing the Body Electric.” buddah? A Buddah statue.

william shakespere? “To be or not to be, that is the question.” pablo picasso? His self-portrait and his paintings using shapes and the way he painted people.

adam ant? Not familiar with him. franz kafka? ^^^^ nietzche? ^^^^ madonna? “Like a virgin, touched for the very first time.” orson scott card? frieda kahlo? Her eyebrows. :X

god? Love, forgiveness, mercy. salvidor dali? The melting clocks painting.

david bowie? Labyrinth. jesus? Salvation.

lars ulrich? Metallica. jim henson? Muppets. 3312. What are your favorite games to play? I love board games. 3313. Are you quick to judge something as stupid just because you don't understand it? I’m guilty of that. 3314. Are you obnoxious to others? No. 3315. Do you feel superior to anyone? Absolutely not. 3316. Shouldn't people take a good look at themselves before they criticize others? Yes. 3317. Which is better and why: writing or saying obnoxious things about someone who isn't around to defent themselves or saying it straight to them? Which do YOU do more often? I know it’s best to speak up and say something if I had an issue with someone, but I tend to just not say anything at all. 3318. Do you appologize too often? Yes. I’m always quick to blame myself for everything 3319. Does your mind play tricks on you? Yes. 3320. Have you read (any of): the bible? the koran? the torah? the kama sutra? the satanic bible? 3321. Do you own any possetions that you hide from parents, friends, visitors? Old diaries and letters.

What? Well, they’re personal. 3322. Why does the cheese stand alone? I guess cause it smells or something. 3323. Do you watch any soaps? No. I find the acting and story lines just absolutely awful. 3324. Have you learned something new today?/ Stuff in the news. 3325. Do you believe in an 'oversoul' of all humanity? What? 3326. Have you invented your own style, just for you? It’s nothing unique.

3327. have you invented your own religion, just for you? No. 3328. What files have you recently downloaded? I don’t remember. 3329. Some people think little girls should be seen and not heard but I think: Uh, of course they should be heard. They have a voice and should be able to use it just like anyone else. 3330. Do you dance around a lot? No. 3331. Is the unexamined life worth living or not? What. 3332. What are you like when you're at your most beautiful? I never feel beautiful. 3333. What are you like when you are at your worst? I don’t even want to be around me. 3334. Why do you hide things about yourself?/ I just don’t feel comfortable talking about certain things or I’m sure how to talk about/express them. 3335. Why is anything 'too personal' to talk to others about? It just is. 3336. Why should we be embarressed, afraid, or appologetic for ANYTHING we think, say or do? I don’t know, that’s just how it is sometimes. 3337. Can true freedom exist in this world of doubt and guilt? Well, you can not let it weigh you down. 3338. What do you have no control over? Life. 3339. Do you own a vibrating pillow? No.

How about a vibrating back massager? No. 3340. Can you dance away your emotional pain? No. 3341. When you dance is it a celebration of life? I don’t dance unless you count a head bob and maybe a little arm/shoulder movement lol. 3342. When do you feel the most immortal? I don’t. 3343. Are you more of a painting, a poem or a song? I’m a sad song. 3344. Is lonliness a crowded room full of open hearts turned to stone? Blah. 3345. Is YOUR heart ever stone? I feel like my health, especially my mental health, has hardened me in some ways. :/ 3346. Are we alltogether all alone? No. 3347. Does life end in a happily ever after way? It depends on what you believe and where you go after you die. 3348. What's the warmest part of your body? Right now my entire body. It’s so hot in here. D: 3349. Are you more verbal or visual? Depends? 3350. What do you long for? For better days.

3351. True or false: When someone hates you it is because:

they're jealous of you? Not necessarily, but sometimes.

the things you say are frightening to them because what you say makes them think about things they would rather avoid thinking about? Perhaps.

they don't understand you? That can be a reason. 3352. True or false: When you hate someone it is because: I don’t hate anyone.

you're jealous of them? the things they say are frightening to you because what they say makes them think about things you would rather avoid thinking about? you don't understand them? 3353. Have you ever been fascinated by someone who hated you? I don’t know of anyone hating me. 3354. Since the human brain has defense mechanisms against feeling bad (meaning the brain lies to itself to avoid feeling bad about something it said or did) how can we ever know if we are truly being honest? Well mine must be broken cause I feel that all the time.

How do we know our brains are not tricking us into believeing we are good people when we aren't all good?/ Actually, I really hate the person I’ve become over these past few years and I pray it’s my brain making me think that and that it’s not really true. :/ 3355. How highly do you value innovation? I think it’s great?  3356. Is there a name where all the people you've ever met haveing that name had something in common with each other(ex. all the jens you've ever met had blue eyes)? Yeah, I definitely feel like there were a few examples of that, but of course I’m failing to think of any at the moment. 3357. Are you focused more outward or inward? Uhh. 3358. What is the most affectionate nickname you ever came up with for someone? I call my doggo a precious angel. lol. 3359. Are the questions STILL still interesting this deep into the survey? I guess interesting is the word for it. They’re.... something. Some are a bit out there. 3360. If someone else makes their desicions based on their intuition instead of on facts and proofs what do you think of that person? Sometimes our intuition about certain things is right. 3361. Do you trust your own intuition? Sometimes. 3362. Finish the phrase... danger is the: just keep: never trust: the way I live my life: don't change: maybe someday: 3363. Would you rather live in Frodo's world or Harry Potter's? Harry Potter. 3364. Do you believe that the dead are with us? Their memory is and we see and hear them around us in various things.

If yes in what form? ^^^^ 3365. Do you believe that those who haven't been born are with us? Like they died in the womb? Well, I believe in heaven and I believe that an unborn fetus would go there.

If yes, in what form? ^^^ 3366. Are you made of timid stuff? What. 3367. Is there anyone in this world who is not CRAZY? We’re all a little mad. 3368. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short becomes shorter when you add “er.” 3369. Can you mashed potatoe? I never got what kind of dance the mashed potato is.

Can you do the twist? Nah. 3370. What does your family do for thanksgiving..or if you don't celebrate it what do you picture when you think of thanksgiving? We have a nice Thanksgiving dinner. 3371. What is your earliest memory? I have some memories from preschool. 3372. Have you ever taken an IQ test? Yeah. What do you think of those things? IQ is one of those things that’s difficult to really define. You be smart in different areas. I always think of that Albert Einstein quote that says, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 3373. How do you make 'fishcakes'? I don’t know. I’ve never had ‘em and I’ve never made them. I have no desire to either. 3374. Which is the better band..the offspring or the damned? The Offspring. 3375. Do you ever think about world destruction? No, not really. 3376. Do you think humans are becoming more robotic? Yes. I definitely feel that way. 3377. Do you think we'll ever be replaced by robots? Oh, it’s happening. 3378. What do you feel a part of? Hmm. 3379. Does it freak you out to know that yogurt is ALiVe?? It’s weird to think that there’s good bacteria for you. 3380. What current band d o you think is doing something particularly interesting or innovative? *shrug* 3381. Golf course, do you remember? Remember what?

3382. Which is more important, books and cleverness or friendship and bravery? Books and cleverness. 3383. If i promise to miss you, will you go away? You don’t gotta miss me. 3384. stool, ball, powder...Can you think of a 4th word that connects these three? Nope. 3385. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? You. 3386. Why are blondes considered 'dumb'? I don’t know why that became a big joke. 3387. What's more important..intuitiveness/creativity or factual knowledge and practicallity? They all are. 3388. Who are the two worst terrorists you can think of? All terrorists are horrible. 3389. What is jello made of? Gelatin, which consists of collagen from animal skin, bones, and connective tissue. 3390. Pick a country: Sweden. What do you believe is wrong with that country? I don’t know. 3391. Do you have strong opinions? About some things. 3392. Do you do what it takes to stand up for those opinions? I generally keep to myself. 3393. Have you ever been to a rally, protest or demonstration? No.

If yes was it effective and in what ways? 3394. When people say, 'yeah it sucks but there's nothing I can do' do you believe them? Usually there’s something. 3395. Do you know what you can do to make this world a better place? No, I don’t.

Do you care? I care, but I really don’t know what I could do. I guess this relates to question 3394 and there is something I could do, but what? 3396. Why is peace so important anyway? Do you enjoy violence and hatred?

Why is freedom important? We should be able to make our own choices, but in doing so you also pick the consequences. People tend to overlook that last part. 3397. As long as you have your house and your family and you can go to the movies and the mall who cares about peace and freedom. Right? Uh, wrong. 3398. Do you try to avoid anything involving work? These past few years you could say that. 3399. If you are not actively wrking to stop the horrors and injustices of the world (war, hunger, poverty) than aren't you partially responsible for them? I can’t be responsible for everyone. Should we try and do what we can to help? Well, yes. We don’t have to, though. That goes along with that whole freedom thing, too. 3400. Are you in denial? I don’t think so.

574.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 35

3301. When someone is 'crazy' why do we call them 'nuts' or 'fruitcakes'? i actually have no idea. 3302. What's the dillio? oh no... i hope this survey isn’t gna be full of nonsense questions like this. 3303. Where did the slang term 'dillio' come from? idk, google it. 3304. How many even whole numbers are there between -5 and 5? idk. 3305. What words can you make useing only these letters: E N O? one, neo, eon... i think that’s it?

3306. What's the differance between foods that are low fat and foods that are lite? i’m assuming light foods like have more fat in it idk. 3307. White or brown rise? did you mean rice? lol. 3308. Can you be content if you are physically uncomfortable? i guess so. if you don’t plan to be physically ‘comfortable’, isn’t that being content? 3309. What is the differance between discomfort and pain? i’m assuming pain is more uncomfortable. 3310. What is the most uncomfortable thing you can think of? being around someone that smells with no escape. 3311. What do these names make you think of: britney spears? walt whitman? buddah? william shakespere? pablo picasso? adam ant? franz kafka? nietzche? madonna? orson scott card? frieda kahlo? god? salvidor dali? david bowie? jesus? lars ulrich? jim henson? cbf answering. plus many of these names are spelt wrong. 3312. What are your favorite games to play? cranium, taboo, the resistance, codenames, monopoly etc. i just like board games i guess. 3313. Are you quick to judge something as stupid just because you don't understand it? nope. 3314. Are you obnoxious to others? no, unless they’re being obnoxious to me. 3315. Do you feel superior to anyone? no. 3316. Shouldn't people take a good look at themselves before they criticize others? they should but they don’t. 3317. Which is better and why: writing or saying obnoxious things about someone who isn't around to defend themselves or saying it straight to them? saying it straight to them. i hate finding out that people have talked about me behind my back and don’t have the courage to just say it to my face. Which do YOU do more often? i’m not an obnoxious person, but i’d say saying it straight to someone’s face. 3318. Do you appologize too often? eh, not really. 3319. Does your mind play tricks on you? sometimes. 3320. Have you read (any of): the bible? only this. the koran? the torah? the kama sutra? the satanic bible? Are these mystical texts or historical ones? they can be taken as both. 3321. Do you own any possessions that you hide from parents, friends, visitors? nope. What? - 3322. Why does the cheese stand alone? idk. 3323. Do you watch any soaps? no. 3324. Have you learned something new today? yes. 3325. Do you believe in an 'oversoul' of all humanity? eh, never heard of it. 3326. Have you invented your own style, just for you? well i guess so. i just wear what i want. 3327. have you invented your own religion, just for you? nope. 3328. What files have you recently downloaded? e-books for my kindle. 3329. Some people think little girls should be seen and not heard but I think: they should be heard too. 3330. Do you dance around a lot? no. 3331. Is the unexamined life worth living or not? why not. 3332. What are you like when you're at your most beautiful? haha i have no idea. 3333. What are you like when you are at your worst? probably a blubbering mess. 3334. Why do you hide things about yourself? i don’t usually tbh. 3335. Why is anything 'too personal' to talk to others about? it just means they’re not comfortable enough to talk about it with others. 3336. Why should we be embarressed, afraid, or appologetic for ANYTHING we think, say or do? it’s just the way society works. 3337. Can true freedom exist in this world of doubt and guilt? to some individuals, yes. 3338. What do you have no control over? the dollar. 3339. Do you own a vibrating pillow? no lol wtf. How about a vibrating back massager? we have one somewhere in the house. 3340. Can you dance away your emotional pain? sure. 3341. When you dance is it a celebration of life? you can put it that way i guess. 3342. When do you feel the most immortal? que? 3343. Are you more of a painting, a poem or a song? painting. 3344. Is lonliness a crowded room full of open hearts turned to stone? possibly. 3345. Is YOUR heart ever stone? no. 3346. Are we alltogether all alone? idk. 3347. Does life end in a happily ever after way? idk. 3348. What's the warmest part of your body? my neck. 3349. Are you more verbal or visual? visual. 3350. What do you long for? happiness. 3351. True or false: When someone hates you it is because: they're jealous of you? false. the things you say are frightening to them because what you say makes them think about things they would rather avoid thinking about? w t f. they don't understand you? bye. 3352. True or false: When you hate someone it is because: you're jealous of them? false. the things they say are frightening to you because what they say makes them think about things you would rather avoid thinking about? you don't understand them? 3353. Have you ever been fascinated by someone who hated you? nope. 3354. Since the human brain has defense mechanisms against feeling bad (meaning the brain lies to itself to avoid feeling bad about something it said or did) how can we ever know if we are truly being honest? just ignore the damn mechanisms and take it for what it is. How do we know our brains are not tricking us into believeing we are good people when we aren't all good? we don’t know, so whatever. 3355. How highly do you value innovation? very much so. 3356. Is there a name where all the people you've ever met haveing that name had something in common with each other(ex. all the jens you've ever met had blue eyes)? nope. 3357. Are you focused more outward or inward? outward. 3358. What is the most affectionate nickname you ever came up with for someone? haha idk. 3359. Are the questions STILL still interesting this deep into the survey? no, sorry. i’m getting really bored of them but i’m too far in to give up. 3360. If someone else makes their desicions based on their intuition instead of on facts and proofs what do you think of that person? that’s fine. it’s their life. 3361. Do you trust your own intuition? yes. 3362. Finish the phrase... danger is the: just keep: never trust: the way I live my life: don't change: maybe someday: no. 3363. Would you rather live in Frodo's world or Harry Potter's? harry potter’s. 3364. Do you believe that the dead are with us? in some ways. If yes in what form? memory. 3365. Do you believe that those who haven't been born are with us? possibly. If yes, in what form? dreams. 3366. Are you made of timid stuff? no. 3367. Is there anyone in this world who is not CRAZY? yes. 3368. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? shorter. 3369. Can you mashed potatoe? lame. Can you do the twist? lame. 3370. What does your family do for thanksgiving..or if you don't celebrate it what do you picture when you think of thanksgiving? i picture family gathering together and having a huge feast and sharing what they’re thankful for. 3371. What is your earliest memory? running to my dad after coming back from vacation with my mum. 3372. Have you ever taken an IQ test? yes. What'd you get? i forgot. i’d probably do one again. What do you think of those things? no that accurate since i just do them online. 3373. How do you make 'fishcakes'? idk. Put the potatoe in the fish... cool. 3374. Which is the better band..the offspring or the damned? i don’t listen to either. 3375. Do you ever think about world destruction? not really. 3376. Do you think humans are becoming more robotic? yes. 3377. Do you think we'll ever be replaced by robots? it’s possible. some jobs are being replaced by robots. 3378. What do you feel a part of? my family. 3379. Does it freak you out to know that yogurt is ALiVe?? no. 3380. What current band d o you think is doing something particularly interesting or innovative? majid jordan. 3381. Golf course, do you remember? what. 3382. Which is more important, books and cleverness or friendship and bravery? friendship and bravery. 3383. If i promise to miss you, will you go away? no. 3384. stool, ball, powder...Can you think of a 4th word that connects these three? no. 3385. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? no. 3386. Why are blondes considered 'dumb'? idk. 3387. What's more important..intuitiveness/creativity or factual knowledge and practicallity? i possess creativity and practicality so idk. 3388. Who are the two worst terrorists you can think of? they’re all terrible people. 3389. What is jello made of? gelatin. 3390. Pick a country: australia. What do you believe is wrong with that country? everything. we are so backwards, it kills my life. 3391. Do you have strong opinions? yes. 3392. Do you do what it takes to stand up for those opinions? yes. especially when people are arguing over something they have no knowledge about. 3393. Have you ever been to a rally, protest or demonstration? no. If yes was it effective and in what ways? 3394. When people say, 'yeah it sucks but there's nothing I can do' do you believe them? it depends what the situation is. 3395. Do you know what you can do to make this world a better place? sure. Do you care? yes. 3396. Why is peace so important anyway? it’s not like it isn’t important? Why is freedom important? everyone has the right to be free. 3397. As long as you have your house and your family and you can go to the movies and the mall who cares about peace and freedom. Right? wrong. 3398.Do you try to avoid anything involving work? no. 3399. If you are not actively wrking to stop the horrors and injustices of the world (war, hunger, poverty) than aren't you partially responsible for them? thanks for assuming i’m not doing anything.... 3400. Are you in denial? nope.

Good Enough...

I always wanted to write a story based on Laura Liney’s character storyline in ‘’Love Actually’’ with a happy ending. I hope you all like it. It’s unbetae’d so all mistakes are mine and no one elses.

Fandom: Sherlock BBC

Ship(s): Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper, Mycroft Holmes/Anthea, Eurus Holmes/Jim Moriarty ( Mentioned ), John Watson/Mary Watson ( Mentioned ).

Characters: Sherlock Holmes, Molly Hooper, Mycroft Holmes, Anthea, Eurus Holmes, Jim Moriarty, John Watson ( Mentioned ), Mary Watson ( Mentioned ).

Summary: Sherlock Holmes is in love with Molly Hooper for years, but decided to not do anything about it. Can anyone make him change his mind and take a chance at love and happiness?

''Anthea please call Sherlock and tell him to come in my office right now.''

That was the first thing that Mycroft said to his wonderful PA that morning. Anthea just rolled her eyes.

''And if he says he can't?'' she asked even though she was certain about his answer.

''Then tell him that i'll call Mummy and tell her that he lied and doesn't really has plans for the day she'll go watch The Phantom of the Opera.'' said Mycroft confirming Anthea's thoughts, before going into his office, closing the door loudly behind him.

It took him only two seconds to open the door again and go straight to her office.

''I didn't say good morning did i?'' he said with a hint of guilt in his eyes.

''No you didn't.'' Anthea answered him with a little but bright smile.

''Well then..'' he turned his back to the rest of the office and took her hand into his.

''Good morning love.'' he said and kissed the back of her hand.

''Good morning to you too my darling.'' she said back.

Mycroft gave her one of the most genuine smiles of him, the one she knew that he saved only for her and got back to his office.

______________________________________________________________

Surprisingly Anthea didn't had to tell Sherlock about his brother's threat to make him go to his office. He was there almost a minute later. He knocked on the door and got in without waiting for answer.

''You asked for me Mycroft?'' he asked while standing in the threshold.

''Come in and close the door Sherlock.'' was the answer he got back. So that was a yes then.

While Sherlock let himself fully in the room, Mycroft got two chairs and put the one across from the other. He sat down and gestured for Sherlock to sit too.

''Please sit down and tell me something Sherlock.'' he said and stopped for a moment waiting for Sherlock to sit.

''Tell you what?'' asked Sherlock.

''How long are you working here with us?''

''What? That's your question?''

''Answer the damn question Sherlock.''

Sherlock sighed and rolled his eyes.

''Three years, two months one week and...'' he stopped so he could check his watch. ''two hours.'' he completed.

''Alright. And how long are you in love with Molly Hooper, our awkward but adorable and brilliant mechanic?'' was the immidiate question from Mycroft.

Sherlock just stared at his brother for a minute with his mouth open. But soon he licked his suddenly dry lips and closed his eyes.

''Three years, two months one week and an hour and a half.'' he answered with a breath.

''That was my calculations too.'' said Mycroft.

''You think everyone in the office knows?'' asked Sherlock, starting to panic.

''Yes.''

''You think Molly knows?''

''No. But i think we should do something about it.''

''Like what?''

''Like to ask her out for a drink and then twenty minutes into the conversation to casually mention that you want  to have lots of sex and babies with her.''

''You know that too?''

''Yes. And it's time for Molly to know it as well.''

''Are you insane Mycroft? I can't say to Molly that i'm in love with her.''

''Of course you can, why can't you?''

''You know why Mycroft don't play the fool, it doesn't suit you.'' Sherlock almost shouted and got off the chair, turning his back at his brother. Mycroft sighed and got off the chair too.

''Sherlock i know that you worry about Eurus, but she's been very well taking care off from all of us, all these years. And i know that you are feeling guilty about what happened to her, but it wasn't your fault.''

''Yes it was Mycroft.''

''No it wasn't and deep down you know it.''

''Look at me Mycroft.'' he said and turned to look at his brother.

''I'm looking at you brother mine.''

''I am a mess. I'm responsible for my sister's misery. I am not good enough for my own family how could you even think that i'm good enough for Molly Hooper?''

''Sherlock don't...''

''No Mycroft. Stop pushing it.'' shouted Sherlock.

Mycroft just stand there, making known to Sherlock that he disagrees with his desicion only with the look on his face. The two brothers were glaring at each other when a subtle knock on the door forced them to turn their eyes away.

''Come in.'' said Mycroft feeling frustrated with his brother's stubborness.

The door opened up just to reveal that the object of their conversation was there. Sherlock as usual found himself unable to take his eyes off of her, but she seemed oblivious to that fact once again. She did notice the tension between the two brothers though so she had to ask.

''I'm sorry am i interrupting something? I can come back later if you want Mycroft.''

''No Molly it's fine. I was about to leave.'' said Sherlock before Mycroft had any chance to say anything else, and left the office like his legs were on fire.

Once he sat on his desc he took a deep breath and decided to not think about Molly Hooper for the rest of the day. And just like he already knew he would, he failed.

______________________________________________________________

A few days later and the office's Christmas party at a gallery was in full swing. Everyone there was having fun except Sherlock, that was standing in a corner, scowling at the photographs that the gallery currently had in exhibition. Who in their right mind thought that nude would combine well with a Santa Claus theme? His bad mood had forced almost all of his co workers to avoid him for the most of the night, except of course John, Mary, Mycroft and Anthea. Currently though all four of those people were dancing.

Two hours into the party and Sherlock was wondering why the hell did he agreed to come in the first place. The answer came to him the moment he saw Molly Hooper getting closer to him. He felt the urge to run away, but before he was able to move Molly stopped right in front of him, a big smile on her face like always.

''Are you having fun Sherlock?'' she asked, her voice full with laughter and tease.

''Not really no. Thank you for asking.'' he said back trying to look at anything or anyone else but her, without any success.

''Oh why not? Is there anything i can do to make you have fun tonight?''

''Umm...'' before his mind was ready to find an excuse she grabbed his hand and started pulling him to the dancefloor.

''Come on, let's dance a few songs.'' Molly said with a smile that made it impossible for him to resist.

It was the day he had run out of luck as it seemed. The moment they were to the dancefloor, and they started moving with the beat of the song, the dj decided to change it into a slow one. Once again he wasn't able - no he wasn't willing - to resist her, so he let her pull him towards her and started dancing, his hands around her waist, his chin almost resting to the top of her head. Even with her outrageously high heels, she was still so small in front of him. He couldn't help but to find it endearing.

Sherlock felt himself relaxing into her arms. For a moment he close his eyes and pretented that they were they only two people to this gallery. With all of his senses he catalogue everything about her. He smelled her beautiful brown hair and he found traces of a rosey like scent. Her perfume also something flowery. Daisies? No. Lilies. He bent his head and opened his eyes to look at her. She was so beautiful, wearing a form fitting red dress, the end of it only a bit below her knees. Her black heels completing the stunning image of this brilliant woman that he had fallen for since the day he met her.

Suddenly Molly looked up at him, her big brown eyes finding his blue/green ones. Sherlock realised that they weren't moving anymore, and their faces were coming closer and closer.  He pulled back more abruptly than he meant and found himself muttering excuses. As he was walking away he took notice of the surprise and - was it really? - hurt on Molly's face. But he forced himself to not look back and he left the building leaving behind his favorite Belfast coat.

______________________________________________________________

An hour later Sherlock was sitting beside his sister Eurus, in the mental institution where she was a patient for almost two years. Since the death of her very unstable lover Jim Moriarty, Eurus changed completely. Her always somewhat fragile mental health took a turn for the worst with his loss. Her anger and mental breakdowns became an everyday thing in the Holmes household, until at some point they didn't had a choice but to commit her in a psychiatric clinic. Not that it helped her much but at least there, the stuff had experience with patients like Eurus.

Once again Sherlock's mind traveled back at the day of the accident that caused Jim's death.  Him almost completely stoned, Jim completely wasted by drugs and alcohol, driving the car. He still can't remember how the fight started, only that it was about Eurus. Always about Eurus. Sherlock knew that it was a mistake to introduce Jim to his baby sister. He was destructive beyond reason, and thus  the ''romantic'' relationship between Jim and Eurus was extremelly disastrous and poisonous for both of them.

That night, as Sherlock and Jim were deep into their fight, Jim left the weel and turned his head and body towards Sherlock. They didn't understood how the car left the road and fell upon a lightpost, only the loud crush. Jim's death was almost instant. Sherlock stayed in hospital for two weeks. Somehow, inside his drug muddled mind he found some reason, and he wear the belt, unlike Jim that his body was half inside  and half outside of the car. After this accident Sherlock went willingly to rehab and since then he never touched cocaine of heroin again even though sometimes he craved them. But then he reminded to himself that he vowed to Mycroft that he will stay clean, especially for Eurus' sake.

For the last two months Eurus was sitting completely silent, staring at the emptiness ignoring - or maybe not realizing - Sherlock's presence beside her, talking to her, reading her books he knew she once loved. Sherlock tried several times to make her talk to him, or at least look at him, but without succes. That night however he sat beside her, not talking either, staring at the same emptiness with Eurus. Until eventually, he took a deep breath, and started saying to her about Molly Hooper. How he felt for her, how she looks, how she smells, how she's too good for him, how he run away after he almost tried to kiss her. He kept talking and talking, without looking at Eurus, until he felt a hand upon his own.

He turned his hand and saw Eurus looking at him, her eyes filled with tears. 

''Sherlock...'' she started making him to open his mouth with surprise ''it wasn't your fault. Stop blaming yourself for everything, and go find her.'' she finished.

''Eurus i...'' he tried to speak but she raised her hand to make him stop.

''You are good enough. And if you love this girl, you will go to her, and tell her how you feel. Don't lose you chance at happiness. Just because i lost someone i really loved, doesn't mean that you should too. And don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'll get stronger, i just need a bit more time.'' she said and she smiled at him for the first time in two years.

''I miss you Eurus.'' said Sherlock with tears in his eyes.

''I miss you too. But i'll be back soon i promise. Now go. And be happy.''

______________________________________________________________

It had just started snowing when he arrived at his flat on Baker Street. But all his thoughts about the cold abandoning him when he saw Molly waiting outside his door, his coat in her hands. He stopped for a second and then he started walking again, almost running. He stopped in front of her with wide eyes.

''What are you doing here in the cold? Are you trying to catch pneumonia?''

''Oh i'm here only for a couple of minutes.'' said Molly with a little smile. ''You left your coat in the gallery and for some reason Mycroft insisted that i should be the one to bring it to you.'' she continued and handed him the coat. ''Weird right?''

''Yeah... so... very weird.'' said Sherlock trying to sound calm, fully aware that he was failing. ''So... thank you for taking the time to come here and bring me my coat. I really appreciate it Molly.''

''It's alright, it's my pleasure. I mean... i didn't mind. I mean... well you'd need your keys right?''

''Right, exactly. Well thank you anyway.''

''Not a problem. So... goodnight Sherlock.'' said Molly and started walking away.

Sherlock stood there for two seconds watching her, until he couldn't control himself any longer. He just had to stop her.

''Molly?'' he called her back forcing her to stop and turn back to look at him. 

''Would you like to come upstairs in my flat for a drink? I mean, you took the time to come here, it would be a shame to not offer you a drink to warm you up. I thought maybe we could... also talk for a few minutes.'' he said with a smile.

Molly stood there for a few moments, thinking about his offer. She shook her head and with a big smile on her face started walking back to Sherlock.

''About what would you like us to talk Sherlock?'' she asked and stopped in front of him.

Sherlock looked her deep in the eyes and lower his head so he could rest his forehead on hers.

''About love... actually.''

Wandered (Chapter 2)

Intro - hey im back!! and i have a schedule for this one! im gonna update this every other sunday!

Paring - None! Clean of sin!

Words - 1,746

Triggers - Mentions of sex, gun violence.

Summary -  After settling at their new base, Hamilton discovers a new outsider who is wandering outside their base...

~Enjoy!~

   Eventually the group decided to leave the shed and look for a new base, which Hamilton always thought was a bad desicion. Every morning we would wake up from our rotten filled nightmares and be slugged off into the abyss to look for a "safer place". We kept moving, wasting our energy and spending it on looking. Why couldn't we just focus on our survival rather then the softest tuft of grass? 

   Of course, Hamilton never dared to question Washington at his work. He was very bruting and intimitading at what he did; no one dared to ask what he was doing. He once got real tipsy at a broken down parlor they  found, and he got so drunk he tossed the map of the city into the lake. None of them  went to go find it, and no one dared to challenge him. Most of us were convinced he used to take steriods because he had the biggest biceps known to man, along with scars scattered on his body. And if you dared to ask him about his scars, you would never ask about his blind eye.    Hamilton overheard Eliza disscussing with her sister about Washington, and they speculated that Washington's wife was infected and causes him to wake up in a cold sweat. He easily believed this myth, as every time he looked at a brown skinned female, you could see his heart drop as he would drag his attention away from the lady. Hamilton talked to people in the group who's been there longer than he's been and they all said that once Washington saw a black, female rotten and shed a tear, frozen on trying to kill it. Lafayette was the one who killed her, and Washington "was never happier about letting go".    Hamilton was brought back to the world when Washington called, "Alright, let's settle here."    As the group started to branch into the area, Hamilton took a good look of where he was. They were in the middle of a large, thick wood with a large circle of dirt with trees surrounding them. The air was quite thick and damp, and it was filled with the scent of pines and fresh water streams. In the middle there was a pile of sticks and burnt clothes, paper, etc. along with some left over trash and litter. North from where the circle was, there was a fresh water stream running with smooth pebbles surrounding the edges.    Hamilton sighed and dropped his heavy backpack on the soft dirt beneath his feet. Time to unload his stuff again. This time, we was smart enough to not completely dump out his bag, but rather just taking out his journal and sleeping bag. He kept the pink pencil case he found in the shed with the dagger, and also stashed his family photo in the case. He was still puzzled on how a pile of photos, all from the same shed his group managed to stumble upon, had a picture for every single person, even dulicates for multiple of the same family. Something was defiantly fishy about that, but he didn't complain. It was a wonder to see his mother again.    "Ugh, why do we have to stay here?" He could hear Jefferson complain across the circle, followed by the rough thump of dropping his large bag of books on the ground.    "Do you want to continue walking for a slightly more decent dirt?" Snarled Eliza.    Silence hovered around Jefferson as the rest of the group set their space up, and some even trying to start the fire in the middle. After laying down his two small items, Hamilton walked over to Eliza to help her with their stuff. Even though she was a very limited woman, she still had her load to unpack, like a blanket, several pictures, her library of weapons, and her assortments of ponytails. Hamilton didn't really understand the somewhat hording personalities of women, but he didn't question; she looked almost as intimidating as Washington.    While they unpacked, Eliza started a friendly conversation. "Hey, so have any plans once we stop moving from place to place?"    Alex sighed. "Honestly, not really. Left my home on an island so I got no where else to go."    "Wow, that sucks. I mean, I plan to go be a marathon runner and win medals for them."    "Oh really? That's pretty cool... All I do is write in a cute little diary."    "Oh shut it, writing is a really nice profession! You can make a living based off it."    Hamilton lifted Eliza's blanket of weapons and laid them down next to her 'bed'. "Barely."    "Barely impossible."    "Oh what ever. I don't plan to write for a living though. I might be a plain old engineer or something."    "Come on man! You got a real talent!! Don't waste it!" Eliza took a long gaze into Alex's eyes, her eyelids almost making her's dissapear. Hamilton's cheeks was sprinkled with blush, his face getting hotter. "You know what, I forgot your name. What was it?"    Alex smiled nervously to release the tension. "Hamilton, but you can just call me Alex."    "Ah, that's what your name was! The guy who keeps waking up from nightmares?"    He laughed nervously, glancing away to the ground. "Don't we all?"

-~-

   The night was quite noisy that night, the crickets singing in tune with the owls in their nests, and the frogs croaking sounds of delight. The animals were lucky not to get the virus as we did. They thought that this was the best past years of their life. Sometimes, he wished he just turned into a frog and hopped away, away from all of this misery and death.    At night, no one was ever awake. Maybe some nights Jefferson would have a little too much fun with his boyfriend, for which he'd have to force himself to go to sleep, but besides that the night was free to his will. And on those nights, where the snores of his team mates were the only nosie filling the world, he would sneak out of the camp and walk in the woods. Probably one of the worst habits he has, especially in a rotten infected world, but he has never seen a rotten in a month so he felt safe for the most part.    Hamilton groaned and picked up his dagger, lifting himself up to stroll in the woods. Once he got himself on his feet, he took silent footsteps into the woods where he gazed at the world. The woods were always more peaceful at night, as the animals slept and the brilliant stars filled up the sky. At one point in his stroll, he found an open patch that was lit by the moon; it looked like if Jesus had opened a gate way from hell to heaven, and if he just took a step, he'd climb the staircase up to the clouds.    When he took in the circle and looked up, lord and behold there was a large full moon in the sky, twinkling with several other stars surrounding it. Hamilton had to catch his breath, looking at such a brilliant view. He felt his eyes widen, the world seeping into his iris and making the rotten apocolapse look like a candy land. He smiled, closed his eyes, and smoothly took the hair band out of his silky black hair, letting his hair flow down and brush his elbows. He felt young. He didn't feel 32, but rather 5 as he let out a small giggle. He'd never felt more happy.    He sat there, smiling and giggling for a while until he heard a rustle in the trees. He spun around, his eyes focused on the dark woods. Looking at the moon for so long made a burnt look on his retnas, making it difficult to spot anything at all. His heart was beating out of his chest, the fear of rottens lurking in his brain. Just as he thought it was his imagination, the rustle became louder, and it sounded like the crunch of leaves. His heart spun into panic, his eyes dialted, looking for the source. He didn't want to die here. Nor ever.    The noise got closer. Then closer. Then he could see a black figure, huntched over with a sort of long weapon in hands, walking slowly. Hamilton took several steps back, clutching his dagger in fear. He took a breath, and before he could exhale, he felt a jab in his chest, the end of a long object, poking him. He looked up and saw the figure, a young, teenage boy with short, curly locks. He had a fair, white skin with freckles sprinkled on his face like sprinkles. His wardrobe was a torn, distraught shirt with jeans, an AID kit and a belt with supplies. He wore a dog tooth necklace with some bones, with the string being an authentic wheat string. His face was a square like appearance, his eyes scrunched in anger and dominance.    The boy spoke with a small, obviously pubecent tone. "Who are you, and why are you here?"    Hamilton paused for a second, but he replied with a firm voice. "I'm Alex and I was just strolling through the woods."    "Why are you in my base?"    "Look, I didn't know it was your base. I was jus-"    He was cut off by the boy pushing him to the ground, his head slamming into the ground. The boy stepped on his chest with his foot and pointed the long shot gun at his forehead. "Let's try this again. Why are you in my base?"    Hamilton took a deep breath, trying to think of a good responce. "I wanted to see the stars, so I looked for a well lit place."    "Did you steal anything?"    "No, I did not."    The boy paused for a second then stepped off the man. "Get out."    "Are you here alone?"    "I said, get out."    Hamilton took a deep breath and nodded, getting himself off the ground and walking away.    "Hey, boy. I usually take walks, so if I ever stumble across you again, just know that I don't mean harm."    The boy digested this for a second, his eyes swaying in different directions.    "The name's Philip."    Hamilton panted for a second. "Hamilton."

~To Be Continued~

Chapter 858

Tick tock, clock running and only 3 hours and 30 minutes to the ‘Tea Party’ !

First we see how they are baking the wedding cake and I assume this will be important part of the wedding since BM has dreamed about the cake for a while. Also I doubt Oda would spend the valuable panels for nothing so yes, a importan cake. Then we have Pekoms who is accompanied by Sun Pirates and they tell him to rest but he doesn’t want and mentions seeing shadows (wonder if he meant the same shadows that we saw shooting Bobbin)

So Luffy and others are on their way to see Capone and they are sent to the bath by Vito who explains that the “mafia boss” doesn’t want any dirty guests around. Now that Vito and others is back on game we MIGHT get to finally know what he whispered to Sanji back in chapter. Luffy is taking things surprisingly serious, almost scolding Chopper being so relaxed in times like this and so on but that might be also a gag, who knows : D   (By the way, Chopper is way too adorable without the hat :> )

Then the scenery switches from the outside of castle to the inside and in women’s bath  Nami finally gets the shower shes been craving since they were thrown into the jail. More importanly they’ll meet Lola’s twin sister Chiffone who opens up more about the past of Charlotte family and especially about Lola’s case and explains why she isn’t welcomed to Whole Cake Island anymore. 

Whoever wrote the theory about Lola’s proposer to be a giant and has something to do with Elbaf nailed it ! So BM tried to arrange another political marriage in order to get involved with a famed army of Elbaf and this could’ve offered her the keys to get closer to One Piece. So I assume  that now her plan with Vinsmokes and this marriage of Pudding and Sanji was to get get the gadgets to make her own clone army of Giants , sort of as a “revenge”. 

(hmmm Nami seems to be interested in princes *whistles and smirks*)

It’s actually really sad to see how similar Judge and BM actually are. Both have crazy ambitions and questionable methods to achieve them and on top of that they are horrible parents. I mean they favor some of the children meanwhile despising the others and there is no wonder why Sanji and Lola both ran away.  Back in Thriller Bark Nami and Lola became close friends and seeing how badly Big Mom treats her own children is enough to give Nami  another reason to kick some Charlotte butt, in my opinion. I doubt her kind and emphatic nature will let her just “forget” this all, especially now that BM has not only caused trouble for her crew mate but also to her sworn sister. I really do hope Oda has prepared Nami some badass fight or other badass moment because she is a badass whose skills deserve to be seen ! 

Well Brulee and the other guy whose name I already forgot are still kept tied (probably so they won’t be able to squeal) and they seem to question Capone’s and Chiffon’s desicion but as said, I think there are way too many reasons why BM should be on her toes. I just hope Brulee doesn’t ruin it all by telling Mama before the big moment although it would bring more drama and tension :d

Also elsewhere Luffy and others are finishing their baths as well and for the comical part of the chapter they are some silly dummies. Well all I can say now is that DAMN YOU ODA, MASTER OF TROLLS XD also, never underestimate the power of milk, it can heal anything ! and to be honest I was already getting used to Luffy’s missing tooth but can’t deny that I’m glad it’s back, although he looks adorable with or without the tooth so doesn’t really matter :> yeah that missing tooth could have offered lots of dramatic sceneries in their future reunion in Wano because well it would’ve been interesting to see how the rest of the crew reacts seeing him with a gap in his mouth but I bet there might be tension anyways if they hear what has happened in WCI but at least now Luffy can smile with the whole row of white and shiny teeth and great to see Brook healed as well :D 

Then to the big meeting ! Straw hats meet the Capone’s gang and damn I already love the outfits of this arc so much :> (and it’s so hilariously cute that Luffy won’t give up on his treasure at any cost so he puts 2 hats on xD).  

I know this is a bit overthinking but if we think a little about the shipping perspective you can see that Sanji and Nami are sitting in different couches, maybe this could indicate that they  don’t feel yet comfy to sit next to each other and therefore there is a chance for bigger reconciliation. I know Nami practically already forgive him  but it was via Den den mushi, so maybe there will be something shippy awaiting :> at least I hope Oda would make them have a proper time to talk with each other but let’s see. 

My mate @eleamaya​ dropped some really promising shippish-notes in her post here.  Not only that prince comment few shippers have already pointed out but also this really interesting detail:

Yup as you can see Nami is now having very similar haircut/hairstyle   than in that panel where Pudding is portayed as bride and where she explains how she shoots Sanji after the veil is lifted. Coincidence or not but this arc is full of surprises and I wish we could already see what the plan is and how they fullfill it.

Also on the other hand we shall keep our feet on the ground and not raise our hopes too high since OP is mainly focusig on chasing dreams and valuing friendships rather than romance even though it feels like there is more romantical aspects in general compared for the early arcs(hehheh, I need to remind myself about this often since I tend to carry away with shipping goggles xD).

(maybe the color spread of chapter 464 was kinda foreshadowing to this arc. Anyways they look great there :p)

Then we also find out tht Ceasar has been with Capone... as Gangster Gastino xD he looks badass by the way ! Luffy almost gets fooled by the “disguise”. Capone seems not to be interested in their links to each others, he just wants a confirmation to the alliance. Like always negotiations don’t go with the easiest route since Luffy starts to use his gomu gomu powers because he is mad at Capone shooting Pekoms and like Jinbe’s face says it all, he was expecting this to go this way so he stops their fight telling that if they all hate Big Mom then she’ll be the target and they can call it as a alliance.  From now on it seems like Pudding is not having any alliance with Capone’s gang but nothing is for sure. However Capone seems to have a plan and I wonder what that’ll be. Here are some that crossed my mind instantly:  

1) “bride swap” Based on this post and few fan arts but I don’t see this as a impossibility, even though Lola is out of game (which means Nami isn’t going to bargain like we originally speculated with my mate @ecassandrae.) I know I’ve been talking about her nickname thousands of times but I still claim this would be a perfect opportunity for her to  be “the husband stealer”, literally. Also like my mate @pernanegra​ reminds us, Chiffon has already took part in brideswap earlier so arranging another “scheme” sounds even more plausible don’t it?  Practically this would mean they need to capture Pudding and make Nami as the bride who steps to the altar. Like said this isn’t impossible but there are indeed pros and cons in this plan  + Sanji would love this plan and he wouldn’t have to be afraid of getting shot + This would give them time to react and ambush + We know Pudding has 2 wedding dresses which could partly support this idea  - could they capture Pudding without problems ?  -+ is Nami willing to do this? (well of course she’d be in the end because it’s for the sake of her nakama but I can already imagine how blushed she’d become if she heard this for real :D) 

2) full chaos  Well this doesn’t require much explanation, the fire is opened before the tea ceremony even starts  + unpredictable since BM seems to trust her son in law -  chaos 

There is probably much much more choices but I’m so stubbornly looking forward on the number one since there are so many nice hints around but but, master Oda will show us the right path !

Easy Chakra Clean-up

Clearing your chakras

Need to speed rebalance your Chakras?

Chakras are spinning spheres of energy in, and out of the body. Each one is tied to a particular set of physical, spiritual, and psychological functions. When your chakras are blocked, you may feel out of place in your life. Sometimes, illness manifests as a cause of our chakras not being balanced. So if you don't know much about the chakras, NO WORRIES! I'll walk you through a simple clean up to get you back on track.

Root Chakra ---> Existance ---> Fear

Located at the base of the pelvis, the Root Chakra is tied to your general sense of safety. When you worry about loss, money, bills, anything tied to your base well-being ... you force your Root Chakra to slow down, or even stop.

The key to unblocking it is simple: let go of your fears. I know it sounds crazy hard to do, but just give your worries to your gaurdians, god, the universe, - whatever you connect with. Really focus on the fear going away. Vividly feel your security. Know that the universe has your back.

Exist without fear.

Take a deep breath.

Sacral Chakra ---> Accept ---> Guilt

Located just under the belly button, the Sacral chakra is tied to your emotional center. When this chakra is out of alignment, you may be moody, less sexually driven, and less honest with yourself. Holding on to guilt, anger, and dense feelings are literally holding you back. Even if you feel like you can't be getting affected by these semi-invisible spheres....you are. The smallest grudge can hinder your growth in massive ways.

Let go of any guilt you may have. It's done, in the past, and no matter how much you would like to change the subject that makes you feel guilt... you can't. So forgive yourself! Give yourself a few hugs while you let go of all the guilt you have been carrying up til now. 

Accept the guilt, let it go, and move on.

Take a deep breath.

Solar Plexus Chakra ---> Transcend ---> Shame

The Solar plexus Chakra is located at the bottom, center portion of your rib cage. This chakra is tied to the mind, and all the programmed cultural beliefs we hold. Many times, if we feel like we have sinned against a moral we grew up believing...shame follows. Even if you don't feel shame in this regard, any shame is holding you back from seeing the bigger picture in front of you. You may be losing focus, or can't feel confident in making a desicion.

Let go of the shame! My mother used to say, "Oh Axél, take a f*** it pill already!" That's my advice too! Shame is one of the worst blockages because it can really stop you from being who you really are, and want to be! Let the universe take that shame, and return it to you as light that heals.

Transcend past your mental boundaries, so that you can welcome in a better you.

Take a deep breath.

Heart Chakra ---> Past ---> Love

Located at the center of the chest, the Heart Chakra holds all of the love you have ever felt, and all the past experiences tied to that love. When we are not in tune with this chakra, we tend to have constant flashbacks about things we feel unresolved in, "I should have done x, y, z." This chakra is the bridge to connecting to all other chakras above. If you have no love for yourself, or no love in general...you will feel like you can't relate to humanity. It can cause jealousy, and more.

Think of all the love you have ever felt throughout your existance. Accept the people you loved, and perhaps had to let go. Feel no shame for loving them, or for loving yourself. Before you move on to the next chakra- make sure you find love for yourself. Love your positive and negative (yin & yang). 

I always think of this: My spirit animal is a Falcon. Falcons & People are both animals. A falcon accepts and embraces all that it is, making it a powerful beauty. I must learn to know what my organic positives, and my organic negatives are; embrace them, and evolve. I fondly believe that + & - are necesarry for life in this reality. We focus so much on embracing one, and suppressing the other that we restrict ourselves from actually being who we are. 

You are lieing to yourself if you are convinced that you only have positives. No matter how much of a wonderful light you are, there's still the darker side. It's when we lie about having negatives that those negatives get out of control.

Take a deep breath.

Throat Chakra ---> Voice ---> Sound

Located at your throat, the Throat chakra is tied to your truths. When we stop ourselves from expressing ourselves, or we bottle things that should have been said...this chakra spins out of control. If you are like me, and can see auras all the time, you may notice blue is a common color for people. Why? They are keeping secrets they feel shame over, or guilt for not really standing up for themselves. Sometimes the person has no one to talk to. It's critical to make sure this chakra is well. 

The meditation for this one is tricky. You can allow yourself to begin speaking your truths from today forward. You can also focus on saying the things that you have bottled up. If you don't want to share with others, just write it in a notebook, say them out loud to get it off your chest, and leave the negativity on the pages you wrote on.

Another way you can avoid blocking this chakra is by being mega real all the time. I used to go places, and if anyone ever said anything rude...I would stay silent as to preserve the peace. Almost as though I was addicted to maintaining zen, even at my own disadvantage. I would go home, and feel like crap, for hours, because I should have said something. Not because I wanted to start anything. It's simply because it gives you self-worth. This only allows you to love the trancendance you are accepting to be your new existence, but also express it.

Take a deep breath.

Third-eye Chakra ---> Sight ---> Oneness

Located just above the center of your eyebrows, the Third-eye Chakra is the center of your intuition. The most common reports when this chakra is not balanced is lack of intuition, and connectivity to yourself. 

Focus on dismantling the concept of separation. Everything is connected in one way or another. When you stop believing that we are all separate, you can then take advantage of your intuition. For more about enhancing intuition click here.

See, express, love, transcend, accept, exist. 

Take a deep breath.

Crown Chakra ---> Manifest Life ---> Relinquish

The crown chakra is located at the very top of your head. It's the chakra gate that Reiki healers draw energy from, the connection to your higher-self, and the grand knowledge of life. 

This is the toughest chakra to clear for many people. In the Heart chakra we are to embrace love, and everything we hold dear. In the Crown chakra we are to let go of everything we are attached to. Why is this hard?

For a mother trying to connect to this chakra, it may seem impossible to let go of her attachment to her children. If you clear this chakra, you will connect to your highest self. This higher you is what aids you to follow your divine path. 

By letting go, you can begin to see a wider existence. Meaning- you can see a bigger picture to reality itself. The trick to the chakras is to embrace all of their characteristics, and letting go of the world you are physically attached to. 

You're a metaphysical being having a physical experience.

Carrasquillo, A. (2017). Antojai Shamanic Wellness

Copyright © 2017 Antojai Shamanic Wellness, All rights reserved.

 If you are still having trouble, check out this video taken from Avatar the Last Airbender.