#therapy is expensive but drawing them is free | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lyraeon · 1 year

Text

at 20 I thought I was faking my depression and was "bad at life" and lazy like my family said. I still earnestly believed I was entirely straight and everyone knew girls are just nicer to look at. I still had a ton of ingrained racism and other bigotry from my Bush-worshipping family. My main dream of being an astronaut had been smashed by my anxiety and health problems, so I was trying to study Japanese because like every other weeb I thought I'd fit in better over there (lol), but I'd already flunked out of one college and been forced to quit another to get a second job. I was overdrawn constantly and often buying gas station gift cards at the grocery store so I'd only take one overdraft fee. I was dating someone horribly controlling who eventually earned the title "evil ex", dialed up my eating disorder, and traumatized me out of writing for 2+ years. I had several roommates because we all considered having the funds to go to anime conventions more important than personal space (and because back then we already thought $600/month was expensive). I spent any other free time half asleep at a friend's house cuz there I could play games and watch Intent videos. Half my meals came free from work, the rest were hacked together from stuff that worked out to $1/serving or so. The power or internet got turned off at least twice a year from non-payment.

at 25 I thought I was too depressed to deserve burdening others with my presence or existence. that I was a burden and purposeful downer and nothing would ever get better. I was still dealing with a ton of internalized transphobia, racism, and other bigotry that I had been taught was Just The Truth and still occasionally fall into. I was massively straight edge against weed and anything else (threatened to call cops on close friends) while also being a half bottle of vodka a day alcoholic just to get my brain to shut up enough to let me write or sleep. I didn't know how to have fun without alcohol, if at all. I had lost my ability to draw when I severely injured my wrist while i had no insurance. I tried going back to school, first for architecture then teaching, and flunked/dropped out of both. I was losing jobs every 6~8 months from being chronically late and being sick constantly. I manged to lose one on my birthday and wound up having to make some other tough choices because of it. I had only just reached the point where being overdrawn was a rare thing and I wasn't buying single gallons of gas with tip money. food was still often just ramen but I no longer had days where I didn't know if I'd get to eat, though I was often dependent on my then-bf. I had multiple teeth rotting and couldn't afford any treatment besides getting them pulled, and often not until they'd become infected.

by 30 I was finally on antidepressants and in therapy. I was on the road to physical therapy for shoulder and wrist injuries that had happened years earlier. I was pretty happy in my relationship. I held down one job for almost 3 years straight after getting medicated, then turned around and flunked/dropped out of college for the 5th time (Physics this time) because I was too anxious to take public transit reliably and STILL couldn't do homework anywhere but in class, so most projects never got done. I'd stopped being able to write (and am still running from the possibility my meds Took That from me because it doesn't come back if I stop them). Food had become a different struggle - I no longer had time, physical health, or executive function to cook reliably so I was spending too much on take out and causing wild fluctuations in my weight. I was hiding my eating disorder from my partner and my friends. I had begrudgingly un-estranged myself from my family to support younger cousins as they came out as queer. I had developed a healthier relationship with alcohol. I had accepted that, outside of addiction, drugs are a bodily autonomy thing and stopped being an ass to people about them. I had finally learned some damn etiquette around things like not accidentally outing people. I started streaming and making videos - stuff I had dreamed of since first watching Dead Fantasy and Red vs Blue and Weeblstuff in high school but had thought impossible after I lost the ability to draw.

I'm currently 35. This year I am living on my own for the first time (aside from 5 failed months at 18). I got divorced - a complicated, regretful process that was ultimately for the best but I could and should have handled better (and sooner). I've been in physical therapy long enough that I'm able to use chopsticks properly again and am thinking of trying to relearn drawing. It's also meant I can do the dishes and wash my hair on my own again, most days, so I'm relearning how to cook consistently. I'm reading (listening to) books again. I'm on year 8 of antidepressants and currently working with my doctor to fine tune what I'm on (and finally have a system to take them consistently). I've been diagnosed with ADHD and figured out I might also be autistic, and a lot of things in my life make way more sense when viewed through that context. I have appointments to get evaluated for ADHD meds, autism, shoulder surgery/other "PT isn't enough" treatments, teeth implants, and new glasses. my clothes have been put away 3 of the last 5 times I did laundry and I've learned that if I only own one dishwasher worth of dishes, the sink can't pile up. I've fully embraced that I'm polyamorous, pansexual, and demiromantic, and that I can be cis while also being "gender agnostic" - none of it really matters or processes to me, but I get that it does to others so I respect it. I'm seeing someone who makes me feel like I can do anything, is inspiringly ambitious themself, and is equally polyam, meaning I might also be asking out a cute girl soon and don't know where board game nights with the nice throuple I met might go. I'm having to do odd jobs and accept help from my dad to make ends meet, but I'm arguably a full time content creator now - something I literally didn't even let myself dream about when I was younger because it felt impossible, but which is fully worth the complications and budget crunching because it's so accommodating to my disabilities and uses so many of my talents. I'm still depressed, but I have hope that ADHD treatment will help cut through the remainder. Most days I just have hope, period. And more days than not, I'm genuinely happy for at least a while.

You'll find yourself.

It might take a while. There will be detours, mistakes, pain, tough choices, and a lot of hard work. But there will also be unexpected joys and more possibilities than you ever imagined.

Someday, you'll find yourself.

And when you do, it will be worth the wait, I promise.

#personal #though you can still reblog if you wanna #I was just having A Moment #and now for all the warning tags #mental health #tw eating disorder #tw alcoholism #ed tw #depression #adhd #tw abusive relationship #tw abuse #tw suicide #if you need anything else tagged lemme know #also sorry it's such blocks of text #i just kind of went full ramble

25 notes · View notes

imhereforscm · 11 months

Text

Roasting the SCM gods

Disclaimer: I love all the gods and I don't genuinely think badly of any of them. These are all purely for fun💖

Leon:

• Animal control? Hello???

• You could call him a "dumb mammal" and it'd be scientifically correct, I guess.

• Don't be shy, take Karno out of friendzone.

• He wouldn't replace the toilet paper and I'm holding a grudge for that.

• His brain sporadically does a buzzing sound, he says something smart and then lets steam out of his ears, before shutting down again.

Scorpio:

• You can't threaten me AND sound sexual. Pick one!

• Just admit you're a switch, but you prefer the sub role, I won't judge you. Unless you're into it-

Teorus:

• You know that feeling when you look at someone and you KNOW they can't find the clit?

• Can't find the clit, but will find your heart, WHICH IS FAIR-

• Gets off to biology books.

Dui:

• I won't slander this one. Even I'm not strong enough for this.

• BUT I CAN SLANDER HIYORI FOR SLAPPI-

Huedhaut:

• Huedhoe

• Huedwhore

• The guy in a comment section who'd tell you: "google is free."

• He's the epitome of "I'm gonna put my cold feet on you."

Ichthys:

• Zyglavis probably sends letters home, telling his parents about him being suspended from the department of punishments.

• Where the fuck are the batteries? I'm interested...... For a friend....

• The one guy you don't want in your path when you're on your period. And he shouldn't want you in his either.

Karno:

• Oh, so, pinning for Leon, while being unaware he's also pinning is your brand!

• Must be odd to be in love with the man you're babysitting, because BOI IS HE HELPLESS.

• Has tried faith, reverse psychology, witchcraft AND blackmailing, yet the friendzone is not leaving.

Zyglavis:

• You remind me of half of the baggage I left in therapy.

• "Here to talk to you about your car's extended warranty." —His face just gives me that, idk

Aigonorus:

• This man is sleeping for the both of us.

• He's the amount of sleep I'm missing manifested into a person.

• An icon. An idol. I aspire to be him at night.

• Rude of him not to share with me.

• Where do you get so much inspiration to close your eyes and sleep??? Is it expensive for me to buy it too??

Krioff:

• Heating pad.

• He do be tryin'. But he do be failin'.

• You remind me of the other half of the baggage I left in therapy.

Tauxolouve:

• A two-week relationship, you say?? Sounds like the relationship I have with healthy sleeping patterns.

• "Draw me like one of your french girls."

• Don't let him watch "Titanic"

• Has Pinterest.

Partheno:

• Keeping Up With The Kardashians manifested into a person.

• That moment when I accidentally saved a sex song into my playlist of sad songs is basically his route in a nutshell.

• So do you like milfs??

#scm #star crossed myth #scm memes #star crossed myth memes #scm scorpio #scm leon #scm teorus #scm dui #scm huedhaut #scm ichthys #scm karno #scm zyglavis #scm aigonorus #scm krioff #scm tauxolouve #scm partheno #leon × karno #karno × leon #crab mom × minister simba

8 notes · View notes

maglors-anion-gap · 1 year

Text

(@cosmic-walkers so sorry for the late reply - work was very busy this week. Posting our thread as a new post because I feel bad gumming yours up with a bunch of reblogs. RIP to everyone's dash tho, the ADHD is leaping out and this post will not be short.)

Note: the text in all the images has been copied into the image description function on desktop. let me know if for some reason it can't be accessed.

Anyway, cosmic-walkers and I had a really good exchange about maeglin and his treatment in text that got me thinking again about eol and the difficulties I've had engaging with his narrative even after coming around to a more nuanced.

I mentioned this in my tags and asked how folks go about repairing eol's narrative:

And I got a really thoughtful reply that, with permission, I'm sharing here so that more people can see it. Hopefully it is as interesting to you all as it was to me. (browse images right to left, top to bottom. comments organized in vertical order in each image).

Thank you @cosmic-walkers for taking the time to write that out for me. It absolutely makes sense, and I actually really love getting long messages because I feel like the length constraints of both tags and comments hinder free conversation.

I have a degree in public health, and my focus was interpersonal and family violence; I don't bring it up to toot my own horn, but rather to offer some context for readers here and to draw from as I analyze the patterns of behavior in the narrative. For what its worth, I think that more nuanced readings of eol's character line up pretty well with frameworks for understanding unhealthy relationships, abusive relationships, and family violence.

I think it makes people uncomfortable to engage with the idea that abusers are humans. I don't mean that people ought to feel a preponderance of sympathy for them (at the expense of their victims), but rather that humans have human triggers, motivations, and psychologies. Of course, we are talking about elves, but *vague hand waving.* I joke that my degree was the most expensive, circuitous way to get therapy, but it really did help to engage with concepts like family systems theory to understand my own life and move forward in healing past "that sucked and my abuser is a monster .... who somehow manages to treat everyone else well... why me?"

Family systems theory posits that abuse can arise in certain dynamics and be conducted by people who, in other dynamics, would not act abusively. It asks us to describe both the overarching family system as well as the subsystems that exist between different members. Noise in one subsystem echoes to impact the rest of the system. It emphasizes the impact of boundaries (divisions, openness or isolation, emotional closeness), roles (patterns of behavior, and who may be targeted/blamed/scapegoated), rules (spoken and unspoken standards, traditions, and guidelines), and hierarchy (power, who holds it, respect and lack thereof). People chafe against the the last concept, feedback and circular causality, because when applied incorrectly it can sound like the victims are provoking their own abuse - this is not true, and it should not be applied like this. It only means that a relationship yields certain behaviors depending on its climate, and that once a pattern of behavior is established it becomes harder to break.

When analyzing family systems theory, many people choose to pair it with the family resilience model, which prioritizes repairing the broken aspects of (sub)system relationships, hilighing positive characteristics and using them as strengths to propel other behavior change, and promoting flexibility, openness, and equitability of social and economic resources to stabilize (sub)systems to begin the healing process. Of course, not everyone wishes to remain in contact with their abuser. Of my two abusers, one I have cut contact with and the other I now have a healthy relationship with. But, utilizing models and evidence based practice like this is critical to actually understanding and then remediating abuse and its damage.

Edit 1/1/23: I forgot to mention the impact of stress on abuse. Many abusers release their stress, confusion, and concerns in the form of abuse because they don’t have another way to process and positively direct those emotions. This can be caused by lack of emotional intelligence or ability to self regulate and soothe, lacking interpersonal communication skills, poor modeling from their own role models. I’ve written evidence-based program plans for mitigating teen dating violence, and to make an impact you have to far in advance of the common age of onset of dating violence. We should be teaching stress management tools, emotional regulation, communication skills, and bodily autonomy is late primary and early elementary school. But many people connect dating violence and sex in their minds and don’t want to talk about it with kids. In reality, a lot of abuse happens because of disregulation, not because of inappropriate desire. This is compounded in real life by theories of power and hierarchical respect - if people feel like someone is of higher value than them, they treat them respectfully, but if they feel like they are the person of higher value, they feel it is within their rights (and perhaps a just affirmation/ defense of system hierarchy) to treat them as they please.

I bring all this up because after reading your comments, I tried using it to analyze the system of Eol, Aredhel, and Maeglin, and the subsystems between them. We agree that as a whole, their family system is tense, unequal, and prone to violence (not necessarily the physical kind). Edit 1/1/23: everyone in the family is experiencing stressors, including Eol himself. The way he responds to these stressors is not healthy and has an impact on the subsystems of their family.

The subsystem of Aredhel and Maeglin is the easiest to analyze in some ways, and there's a wealth of knowledge to pick over. The two of them are emotionally close, open with each other, ally with each other (as in, we do not canonically see either of them display pecking order behavior in which one abuse victim then abuses someone less powerful in another subsystem), and seem to have similar power distance (aredhel is his mother, but she is not characterized as being domineering toward him, and has about as much systemic power as maeglin in comparison to eol, though eol treats maeglin worse initially, forming a subsystem I discuss next).

Eol and Maeglin form a fractious subsystem. It is characterized by high power distance, emotional isolation (see: not naming Maeglin until he was far along in childhood), and Eol regards him more as a possession than as someone worthy of his respect and basic dignity (see: the attempted murder). Resources is a more uniquely human concept, but Eol is the lord of Nan Elmoth, he exerts some control over the forest, he maintains his own staff and people, and he has the ability to forbid (and enforce) certain behaviors. Maeglin spends more time with his mother than father (out of the house too, if memory serves, though this may not be so odd for elves) and dreams of running away to Gondolin, and it seems to me that Aredhel's tales of Gondolin (ironically, a city-prison of another sort) are so sweet to him because of his current family situation.

Aredhel and Eol form the third and final subsystem. I think it is important to note here that many, if not most, abusive relationships begin well. At baseline, many abusers are adept at concealing red flag behaviors until they successfully lock down their victim. But I am more interested in exploring the family systems model of abuse here (Eol is often analyzed using the characteristics of a serial abuser, and while some people fit that model, in combination with the terrible handling of race and culture in this arc, brute caricatures, and white damsels, I think it does more to reinforce an over-done reading that leans into rather than away from Tolkien's biases).

As you so rightly mention, Aredhel and Eol begin their relationship with a certain degree of love. We can see some differences in power, agency, and respect from the start - I am reminded of Eol enchanting the woods to draw Aredhel in. However, this is a storytelling device common to fairy tales, even ones intended to be read romantically, and because I am a huge lover of the Ballad of Tam Lin I must be honest with myself and admit that this alone can be taken as a stylistic choice and not an indicator of purely evil intentions.

The difference in power only grows as Eol forbids Aredhel to visit the lands of the Noldor; this puts her in a difficult bind, as she is also not welcome in the largest kingdom of the Sindar. In general, controlling someone's movements indicates a paternalism and lack of respect that it's difficult to build a healthy relationship on. Now, initially they do go about exploring together, and I think this is something that would have endeared Eol to Aredhel, something she would have enjoyed, something they could have found common ground in, and something that perhaps reminded her of old friends like Celegorm. As their relationship degrades, we see mentions of that closeness, emotional openness, and equity of station disappear. Now Eol goes about his business, Aredhel concerns herself with their son, and they wait until Eol is gone to flee.

On the topic of why people agree to the demands of abusive or otherwise toxic partners, when interviewed many people say that they would like to stay with their partner but that they just want the abuse/hurtful behavior to stop. Now, it's not always possible to achieve that, but many people love their abusers. They make excuses to themselves, their families, and to the medical and legal system to protect them. We cannot discount the impact fear, threats, isolation, and lack of resources have on this behavior, but it would be wrong to dismiss the emotional attachment many people feel. I believe this is a valid reason why Aredhel would initially entertain Eol's demand that she not travel in noldor lands (additionally, she has only had experience with her brother at this point, and Turgon eventually relented and let her go, so perhaps she thinks she can eventually wear Eol down into relaxing his restrictions). It would also explain why she pleads twice to save Eol's life.

Now, I think their relationship, even before Maeglin was (lovingly) conceived, was poised to fall apart. Eol cannot get past his opinions of the noldor, and while those opinions are not incorrect and are, on their own, valid to hold, he marries a noldor woman and has a half-noldor child with her. I think a certain lack of trust in Aredhel, and lack of respect for her cultural background, lays the foundation for his abuse of their son. I read some excellent meta recently about the functional impact of the Quenya ban, and the writer posed that by banning Quenya, the language and culture was associated with kinslayers - thusly, anyone who wanted to participate in political life in Beleriand (which required peace and intergroup co-operation) would have to disavow not just the kinslayings (despite being overwhelmingly kinslayers themselves) but also there heritage. I can see this kind of mentality come out strongly in Eol's treatment of Maeglin: he is concerned that Aredhel teaching Maeglin about her family is like a poison to him, that any faith he has in his wife's good nature or his own ability to parent effectively and teach Maeglin about his own culture is overwhelmed by the canker of noldorin culture.

I think this further corroborates your claim that their relationship slowly degrades from good to bad, because I don't think Aredhel would have tolerated that initially, and if we follow LaCE I'm not sure conceiving Maeglin would be possible with the degree of animosity we see toward the end of their relationship. But I might push a little on the idea that the relationship between Aredhel and Eol was healthy up until the birth of Maeglin. I think the introduction of Maeglin to the family, the creation of two new subsystems, the shift and echo of power within the system, all combine to catalyze abuse. But a loving relationship does not equal a healthy relationship, and loving and being loved by someone does not mean that you have a true, deep respect for each other. It is fully possible to be in love with someone, care deeply about them - and be unable to relate meaningfully to them, or understand their fears or needs. This is how I perceive Aredhel and Eol's relationship almost up until the moment she flees from him.

Now I have some loose end thoughts. Regarding the impact of Eol's parenting on Maeglin, there is some interesting research on chronic fear in children that I refer to now. Chronic (prolonged, or recurring) fear in children causes a host of acute and chronic issues later, both physiological and psychological. Blood sugar, stress hormone levels, sleep health, capacity for and strength of emotional attachment, attention span, short and long term memory, sociability and antisocial behaviors, and rage are all negatively impacted by experiencing chronic fear. Fear is a word that has certain connotations in people's minds, but in this context it can mean anything from living in a war zone, to experiencing abuse, to being bullied or growing up being discriminated against for any reason, to being food or housing insecure, to being routinely disciplined in an illogical/punitive manner. Not all sources of fear are imminent physical threats (there is a reason it is a separate and unique felony crime, for example, for a child to witness abuse taking place even if the child is technically safe).

So we can look at all this and apply this to how we think Maeglin thinks, feels, and interacts with the world considering his poor relationship with his father, the disintegrating relationship between his father and mother, his introduction to gondolin (and losing both parents), and then the discrimination he faces within Gondolin. He moves from one system of fear to another system of fear, and the irony is that his father couldn't stand him for his mother's heritage and the Gondolindhrim judge him for his father's. I think in some ways, Nan Elmoth and Gondolin are reflections of each other, and what happens when xenophobia, isolationism, and fear come into play.

Something else that came to mind while writing was that different groups of Sindar view the Noldor differently. Doriath views them as a challenger to the rule of Beleriand, and this is evident in how Thingol speaks of his kingship and the laws he makes. Some Sindar go with Turgon to Gondolin - though the ruling class, and the historians like Penlodh are all Noldor, so while Maeglin was not entirely alone in Gondolin, he still was not truly free, and the historical record after his death is most definitely biased. the Sindar in the north see the Noldor as allies - though again, similarly to the Sindar that took Turgon as their Lord, or the Edain immediately swearing to elvish Lords, I see Tolkien's bias and racial hierarchy creeping in here to determine "logical" progressions of events. I think all of this contributes to a very tense environment in Beleriand, between the noldor and the sindar, between different groups of sindar, etc etc, and different groups would likely have different fears/reactions to the Noldor. I think Eol was poised, with his cultural trauma, for his marriage to fail. And he is mentioned in connection to Thingol, not Círdan, so his cultural and political context comes into play here. Additionally, we have no idea how old he is. Thingol (and Círdan too iirc) is old enough to remember the Teleri that left for Valinor; this is speculation, but Eol could be as well, which would at least contextualize his intense reaction to the kinslayings as an even more personal grief.

This was a very long free-form way of processing what I think about Eol, and I think I can safely say I find him more interesting as a character now. I really wanted to like him! I tried so hard! I can find something to like about almost every character in the legendarium (even if it's just a "wow that is such an interesting/stimulating way to build characterization"). And I think I can do that with Eol now. I think there's so much to explore re: Nan Elmoth, his skill as a smith, and his relationship with the dwarves.

I actually think it was you that posted about Feanor and Eol being similar, and the thought crossed my mind again as I was writing this up, firstly because of their similar passions, but also because I think they respond to stress, fear, and grief in a similar way. Neither of them handle it well, and they take it out on the people around them. In fact, I think it's great to contrast these two. On the one hand, we have Feanor, grieving his mother, his father, the last bit of stability in Valinor, and feeling like he doesn't belong in that society, that he's tainted, and that everyone secretly hates him (Morgoth's brain worms aren't helping). On the other hand, we have Eol, who is grieving the murder of his kinsfolk, and who views the arrival of the noldor as the colonization and the potential obliteration of his people (a valid fear to have, and corroborated by those princes of the noldor who cross the sea not to fight Morgoth but to obtain kingdoms of their own). And of course, the threat of imprisonment in Gondolin for life is the last straw, and very important in my mind when considering what Eol does next.

It just came to mind, but you could perhaps draw a parallel between Eol trying to kill Maeglin as a perverse mercy killing to spare him the pain of being an outcast in Gondolin, and Denethor trying to burn himself and Faramir alive to prevent their remains from falling into the hands of the Enemy. Eol has a certain love for his son, and unfortunately it's the killing kind.

Again, I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with me, and I'm in agreement with you! It was really helpful to hear your thoughts. In a way, it was kind of freeing to hear you say Eol was kind of crap? The last conversation I had (years ago) with someone about Eol and transformative works, I got the distinct sense that they thought anything less than a fully exculpatory reading of Eol (and reworking the narrative to place the blame of Aredhel's death on "an accident" or "getting between Turgon's men and Eol") was not good enough to repair the narrative. And don't get me wrong! I actually really enjoy AUs and canon divergence, and this arc is no exception!

But sometimes I like to stick closer to canon, and pick apart the biases in the narrative and how they're impacting the characters, especially in an arc that is tied so closely to those characters. I had a pretty firm grasp of the biases at play, but I didn't have as good a handle on the dynamic between Eol and Aredhel and that really tripped me up when I considered possible adaptations to their arc.

My final thought is that I hate having the only character of XYZ background be the villain. I think the way I can potentially get around that is that because it's easier to repair Maeglin's narrative, it's easy for me to make Maeglin sympathetic. As you said, Eol is sympathetic, and nuanced, but also kind of a shitty guy. Whereas Maeglin is sympathetic, nuanced, does some things are are Not Well Adjusted, but also imminently likable once the narrative biases are stripped away. Most of Maeglin's "Crimes" in the narrative are like "he was in love with his cousin, but he was respectful and didn't say anything about it, but she was a mindreader and found out anyway," and "wow he's so close to the king, that's suspicious (even though they're blood related and that's not a red flag at all)" and "he gave up the city ... to gain his cousin as a prize ... but he was tortured first, so maybe it was the torture that really sealed the deal, not the cousin-loving?" Sorry, abrupt departure from academic language into dark humor. But yeah. Fully fleshing out both of these characters - and maybe including some of the sindar of Gondolin and Nan Elmoth as OC's even? - is maybe the way to go.

#Eol #Maeglin #Aredhel #Sindar #Nolofinweans #Gondolindhrim #meta #cosmic-walkers #tol-himling #long post

14 notes · View notes

jellyfishmoon72 · 2 years

Photo

Therapy? Expensive.

Drawing Rose getting the love and affection she deserves? Free.

I’ve had more time to write and edit Horse in a Rat’s Cage while on vacation and I got even more emotionally attached to the characters. Go figure lol. Expect more doodles of them over the next few days.

Rosemary (she/her) Carlo (he/him) Jack (they/them)

#hiarc #doodle dump #rosemary sapphire duval #carlo duval #jack felicity #trans characters #trans man #trans woman #nonbinary #t4t #digital art #original story #character design #jelly draws

2 notes · View notes

journalgirl · 10 months

Text

The Joy of Running Out

Let’s pick up like old friends…

I’m not sure these days how many people read blogs, so I’ll write for myself and let you read. 😉

My art and materials have changed since we last spoke. I’ve shifted to coloring my own drawings, and messy collage work in my art journals. The imagery and details have deeper meaning — I referenced one in my last therapy appointment to the delight of my therapist.

When I started creating art, it was a struggle to translate my emotions from words — which was my primary way of expressing myself — to images. When you pick up art later in life, after college, there’s a learning curve. Composition. Color. Line. Medium. Substrate. I feel my early days was me throwing whatever made me smile at the page and seeing what stuck. Then manipulated to try and tell a narrative.

I rarely use paint, unless it’s in the form of a marker. I collage with a glue stick. Whatever I use most is within reach of my giant chair in the living room, where I do 80% of my art. And for a girl who rejected many coloring books because the tiny details made my hands ache…it appears that doesn’t apply when I am the one doing the drawing!

What’s different is me.

While we all long for the inspiration that propels us to create every day, I often struggled doing so. I was ill and exhausted and wished I could do more, create and experiment, like my friends. I did my best, said, “Good enough,” a lot.

I’m living in a new state — my third! — in my own comfortable apartment filled to the rafters with art supplies. I encourage you to find a closet or cabinet that holds anything else (ok the kitchen is just the bulbs for my studio lights, but it’s the safest space). You won’t find one. There’s less stress and more self-care. I work a wonderful day job I love, but also continue to struggle with mental and physical health issues.

I say this because, about a year ago, something amazing happened: I started working at least 2 hours a day on art. It started with coloring the work of other artists, then drawing florals, collage, and now I live in the world of mandalas and the mix of supplies that continue to inspire me.

(I’m actually taking a break from my current one; I’m in hour 7.)

As you can figure by the tumbleweeds gathered in the corners of this blog, I didn’t share much on social media. I don’t spend nearly as much time on my phone, and when I post, I’m in the frame of mind that I’m sharing with my friends. There are rarely hashtags, the posts are inconsistant, and doesn’t see much engagement past my Facebook friends. It wasn’t very important, running to share something the moment I put pencil to paper; I fell into this pitfall a few times in my life, and it always ruined and disrupted my inspiration.

Now? Now I make stuff, and if people like it, awesome! I actually taught my first class in 10 years to a small group of friends and delighted more in the kind words from friends who shared my post. Because my students were friends, I didn’t feel pressure to have everything set up perfectly. I no longer have a DSLR to film with, and my laptop is a modified MacBook Pro from 2009. I loved teaching live, as I could get feedback from my students, as well as answer their questions, in real time.

(I’m working on a ‘sequel’ right now, as I ran out of time to share everything!)

The joy? Using much loved supplies to the point they need replacing because of how much you use them. Being able to info dump at friends all I’ve learned from wearing out even the expensive stuff.

Sometimes, you need to run out of what was so there’s room for what can come. But the only way you get there is to just run free with radical acceptance, use the pretty things, and allow something you never expected to take root and grow.

I’ll see you next week, friends.

💜 Kira

(Yes, I am changing my legal name!)

1 note · View note

kimarisgundam · 1 year

Text

I don't know if I should be annoyed at my friend, or at her dumbass Rockerboy character???

My friend who plays the Exec responded to my IG Story demanding I let her Exec meet my character's bro. I'm like "No. Sue me"

Exec was literally trying to threaten me by saying he found out who my sponsor is

And he'll rat me out to the party

But I Uno reversed him cos like...

Ok, so you found out Tanaka-san is my unofficial adoptive father

Tanaka-san, the high ranking executive who's one of the heads of Arasaka's R&D department

Tanaka-san, the guy who ordered my bro to tie our Rockerboy to a chair in front of a mirror and make him watch as his limbs are pulled off

You know that's my backer and you try to threaten me? You should know that you're lower on Arasaka's food chain than me

Like how dare you even speak to me

I had the upper hand until he brought up our Rockerboy's streetdrug use ಠ_ಠ

And I'm so frigging pissed cos the "tail between your legs" line got thrown back at me ಠ_ಠ

I'm so annoyed at my friend cos the reason why her Rockerboy is addicted to synthcoke again is because

she didn't read the rule book ಠ_ಠ

For context, our DM feels that streetdrug use is very common in Night City. So she made a homebrew "drugs menu" to rebalance the effects of drugs to give us more of an incentive to use

Eg. Cigarettes give you a +1 Cool stat when using them. So if you are trying to seduce someone, it gives you an advantage

But after using, if you fail the DV check you will become addicted and have to regularly smoke or you'll get a -1 Ref cos you can't focus without smoking

She adjusted therapy to have a DV check based on how addictive the drug is... but the original Player Rulebook rule that if you do the same drug again within 1 year of getting clean, you will AUTOMATICALLY fail the DV check

My friend's Rockerboy has the highest Will stat and a Resist Torture/Drug skill, so she's the most reckless with streetdrug use during combat/RP cos she thinks her Rockerboy will always pass the DV check

But she uses drugs so often to boost his stats that he eventually becomes addicted to something cos of a bad roll ಠ_ಠ

The worst part is, she prefers the drugs with high stat boosts, but those are also the drugs with the worst side effects ಠ_ಠ

Eg. -2 Reflex and -1 Empathy for synthcoke. And the drug doesn't even last 24 hours, so now he's constantly using to prevent the draw backs ಠ_ಠ

And for every 4 hours he goes without satisfying his cravings, he will be penalised with stackable additional point loss ಠ_ಠ

A few sessions ago we were paid eddies and "high quality" streetdrugs for a job. Our Rockerboy promised my character he won't do synthcoke again, so he's going to sell it

Yeah ಠ_ಠ. One session later my friend was like "I puff a drug, give me the stat boost" during a fight ಠ_ಠ

I immediately gave her the stink eye. She didn't say which drug she used, but I was 90% sure it was the synthcoke

I think our DM texted her that her Rockerboy was automatically going to lose the DV check, cos she had a "Oh crap, I messed up" face after checking her phone ಠ_ಠ

I'm so flipping mad at my friend and her gonk of a Rockerboy ಠ_ಠ

I'm getting pressured by our Exec now cos my Netrunner has been helping the Rockerboy hide his synthcoke use

Her Rockerboy can't even get "clean" now cos she keeps failing the therapy DV check cos of bad luck. And it's not like we always have time to go for therapy???

You need a full free week to go. A week that could be used doing other things. Our DM said she'll give our Rockerboy a +2 bonus if my Netrunner is with him for emotional support...

But everytime I accompany him, it eats my entire week too T_T

It's his second time getting addicted to synthcoke, so he needs 2 therapy sessions and we just can't pass the second one

Therapy is so expensive. He can't afford to keep going, so he ends up just spending the eddies on cigarettes and synthcoke to satisfy his cravings and I'm losing my crap cos everyone is starting to realise something is wrong with him again

When is something ever not wrong with him ಠ_ಠ

The Exec is right. I suspect he was so reckless when encountering my bro cos he was having a psychosis episode due to Empathy loss ಠ_ಠ

For every stack you get, you must do 1 extra puff/shot of the drug to remove the stack. I swear, he's lying to me. He has more than 1 stack and he doesn't have enough drugs to remove them ಠ_ಠ

I'm so mad! Like irl and in game! He's so irresponsible! But I can't leave him cos I don't want him to hurt himself again. He's my best choom, I should be there for him

#I am going to kill her Rockerboy ಠ_ಠ #why can't he be more like Johnny Sliverhand ಠ_ಠ #cyberpunk is making me lose my crap #personal #long post

1 note · View note

hiringtherightorthodontist · 2 years

Text

What You Should Know About Invisalign Treatment

Invisalign treatment includes putting on a collection of clear, removable aligners that progressively relocate the teeth right into setting. Utilizing 3D imaging modern technology, these aligners are personalized for each person and also gently apply pressure to the teeth as they move. In some cases, the aligners might require attachments to aid them remain in area. Invisalign therapy is an ongoing procedure that calls for frequent contact in between the patient and the carrier. Patients commonly use new aligners every 2 weeks. In addition to the aligners, people also need a retainer to help the teeth solidify around their brand-new placements.

Relying on the kind of treatment they get, this retainer may be cost-free or consisted of in the general price of the therapy. This aligner must be worn for up to 22 hours a day. Patients can get rid of the aligners for eating or alcohol consumption, yet they must ensure that the aligners are completely cleaned up. This is since germs can accumulate in the aligner trays and also harm the teeth. Patients should likewise guarantee that they brush their teeth completely after drinking and eat. An additional advantage of Invisalign is that it is essentially undetectable. Unlike steel dental braces, patients do not require to see the dental practitioner for routine examinations.

Invisalign treatment entails using a computer system as well as 3D imaging software. This software permits medical professionals to customize the aligners for each and every patient. This allows them to deal with a broader series of clients. Invisalign is made by Align Modern technology, Inc., a firm that was founded in 1997. One more alternative for patients that desire a more economical orthodontic solution is Invisalign Express. This program makes use of fewer collections of aligners than complete Invisalign therapy. Although it is a lesser-cost option, it still offers comprehensive treatment. It is recommended for clients with light orthodontic problems. Visit https://www.smile-on-us.com/invisalign to learn how to treat various orthodontic problems.

It may be better for those who have had previous orthodontic treatment. Prices of Invisalign treatment are generally similar to those of traditional braces. Many orthodontic providers use budget-friendly layaway plan as well as adaptable payment choices. Furthermore, some insurance coverage intends cover a part of the expenses related to this treatment. Just like any kind of sort of treatment, it is essential to pick the best one for your requirements and budget. Invisalign therapy is a very efficient method to correct the alignment of the teeth without using typical steel dental braces.

It includes putting on a collection of customized clear aligners that progressively move the teeth into the appropriate placement. These aligners are virtually undetectable, and most people will certainly not also observe that you are wearing them. Invisalign therapy is a very personalized choice and the dental expert will draw up a therapy plan based on 3D imaging modern technology. This details permits the dental expert to determine uneven teeth and also various other issues with the teeth. Check out this post https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Align_Technology#Invisalign for more information about this topic.

0 notes

c4llm3h4ru · 2 years

Photo

Therapy? Way too expensive. Drawing the Gold-Silver Eyed Twins? ✨️Free✨️ I should've posted it earlier, but whatever Anyway I guess I'm finally satisfied with Jasmine and Hannah's character designs. I love Indian fashion, there's so many colors, patterns, embroirdery... I didn't plan an ancestry for them yet, the only thing I put on paper is that they were born in Brazil, and since the country have basically every race in the book living in it, I might try to get out of my comfort zone and make them have some Indian ancestry. But other than that, one I finish this one I should be content with their final design... hopefully #obeyme #obeymeshallwedate #om #omswd #obeymemc #obeymeshallwedatemc #ommc #omswdmc #characterdesign #digitalart #ibispaintx https://www.instagram.com/p/ChOTFOBOcl8/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#obeyme #obeymeshallwedate #om #omswd #obeymemc #obeymeshallwedatemc #ommc #omswdmc #characterdesign #digitalart #ibispaintx

1 note · View note

wellijustfinnihedoneofthebooks · 3 years

Text

My love of my ocs is directly proportional to my hatred of being alive

#currently drawing my boys tm and like legitimately i dont think my brain has been actively thinking this happily about something in weeks #thats kinda sad but what ever #therapy: expensive #drawing my shitty ocs: free #sadly the drawing has a background which does diminish my happiness but i dont really care cause my brain is empty for a minute #my depressing fictinal little dudes make me happy so i will keep drawing them and nothing else

0 notes

ryukatters · 2 years

Note

kat, *shakes empty cup* spare coochie (uni jean hcs) pls

Spare coochie (jean headcanons) incoming!!!

Pairing: jean kirstein x fem!reader

Content/warnings: university! au, fluff, jean is nail artist because i said so, overstimulation

SFW

Kinesiology/exercise science/physical therapy major. Minors in either design or visual art as stress relief (we’ll come back to this). Eventually finishes up those required courses by the end of his 3rd year, so he decides to double major in business management because he didn’t feel like graduating early.

He has a general sense of what he wants to do. He knows he likes helping others, which is why physical therapy is appealing to him. But if that doesn’t work out, he doesn’t mind entering the business field. Has enough confidence and leadership skills to make it big there.

Remember how I said he minored in visual arts as a form of stress relief? Big mistake. As much as Jean loves painting, sketching, drawing, you name it, he realized that he hates doing it for a grade. He’s a perfectionist, and he hates the pressure that due dates put on him. He always feels like he’s half assing his work (still looks amazing) and he doesn’t want school to ruin his passion and inspiration.

Can get away with putting very minimal effort in studying for his classes. He remembers things pretty well, and is good at conceptualizing topics and applying them when it comes to tests.

That being said, he’ll gladly accompany you to the library or cafe to study. Means he gets a free pass to ogle at you all focused, without you noticing (most of the time).

When you do look up and find your boyfriend staring at you, he just cocks his head to the side and gives you a smile while reaching across the table to give your hand an encouraging squeeze.

Has an eye for photography. If you wanna live out your IG baddie influencer dreams, Jean will gladly be your photographer and hype man. If you’re camera shy, he (un)intentionally builds your confidence over time because of all the photos he takes of you. He’ll tell you how to pose, what expression to make, etc. You best believe he’ll buy an expensive editing program just to use their nice ass presets.

Has...a bit of cuteness aggression? Sometimes he sees you and just wants to squeeze the life out of you. He doesn’t tell you that though, and he has yet to give into those urges.

Likes it when you have your nails done, especially if they’re a bit on the longer side. Likes it even more when you run your nails across his skin or scratch his scalp lightly.

Speaking of nails, he doesn’t mind paying for them!! But there was one time where he found a really cool design that he wanted you to have but the nail tech couldn’t replicate it, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. 2 days later, Jean invites you over and he has a mini nail salon set up in his living room (thanks Amazon Prime).

Starts out with just those press on nails that he paints cute little designs on, but eventually progresses to using gel extensions (Jean: “the tutorials I watched said that acrylics are bad for your nail beds, babe. I’m just watching out for you.”)

He’s proud of his work LMAO. He’ll take pics of him holding your hand to show off your nails and also posts timelapses of him doing your nails on tiktok/instagram. Somehow goes viral overnight, and now people are seriously asking him for his prices. Maybe this is his calling.

He is very romantic, and very much likes to play into “traditional” dating stereotypes. Very chivalrous. If he could help it, you don't have to even lift a finger. He respects your independence, but also wants to help as much as he can. (“What’s the point of you dating me if you won’t let me carry your bag?”)

An excellent cook. He is, however, very particular about how things are done in the kitchen. Probably has to do with the fact that none of his housemates (Eren, Armin, Connie) even know how to properly julienne an onion. They are to stay clear of the kitchen when Jean is in there, lest they want a handful of flour to the face. You, however, can watch. He even lets you help him, even if it’s just by being a taste tester.

Don’t be surprised if he’s shoving a tupperware full of last night’s dinner into your hands when you show up to class, or texting you to come over because you just have to try his handmade ravioli. His love language is food and I will die on that hill!

NSFW

I’ve said this before, but Jean will turn you into a pillow princess. You don’t have a choice. His baby girl deserves only the best, so just sit back and enjoy the ride babe <3

It’s not that he dislikes having you do work, because he’ll gladly concede when you ask nicely (most of the time), it’s just that he likes seeing your body talk— and he likes seeing what it has to say when he’s the one causing it.

He especially likes it when you get that hazy look in your eyes, legs trembling from overstimulation

In my head, Jean is pretty gentle. I think he’s aware of his own strength and doesn’t lack spatial awareness (unlike a certain green eyed brunet) so he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you. Unless you ask for it, of course.

When you suck him off, his hands are restless. Gripping your hair, jaw, neck, but he lets go quickly because he doesn’t want you to bruise. He eventually opts for fisting the sheets, knuckles turning white as he shoots cum down your throat.

Loves you in lingerie. The way the straps and lace hug your body has him sucking in his breath.

Will also ask you to nude model for him under the guise of it being “anatomy practice.” I thought artists weren’t allowed to touch the model? Then why is your boyfriend feeling you up?

Oh, and he will definitely be your photographer if you want a boudoir shoot. As long as he gets to keep the photos, of course.

#jean im so sorry i still dk how to spell your last name #jean x reader #aot x reader #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean headcanons #jean kirstein headcanons #jean kirschstein smut #jean kirschtein headcanons #this is all i have im sorry #i go back into my hole now #kat’s writing

501 notes · View notes

aurumacadicus · 2 years

Text

Had a thought. Bear with me.

Tony hasn’t controlled his money since he was twenty-five years old. There’s a reason he tells JARVIS to make lists, to put in orders, to schedule deliveries. It’s why he buys exorbitant gifts and offers jobs and pays for meals. He can’t just offer people money.

Which is why Rhodey has to come in and give his signature when Tony says he wants the team to have emergency credit cards.

“Do you know what constitutes an emergency,” Rhodey asks Tony carefully as he has them fill out paperwork. He is not unkind about it.

“No,” Tony admits.

Rhodey reaches out to the table, and everyone obediently puts their pens down, even though they’re very confused. “I have Tony’s power of attorney over his bank accounts,” he tells them seriously. “I know you won’t abuse the trust Tony is giving you. I just need you to know that I do go over the accounts to know what he’s spending so I know when I need to rein him in, so don’t buy anything on those credit cards that you wouldn’t want me and Tony to know about. Tony is very bad at keeping secrets.”

Clint and Thor go back to filling out their paperwork, shrugging, but Natasha, Steve, and Bruce look deeply uncomfortable, not picking their pens back up. “Why?” Natasha asks simply, frowning.

“When I’m manic, I spend like crazy, and while I can afford it, when the mania fades, I just feel bad,” Tony admits. “I can’t draw out cash specifically so JARVIS can ping Rhodey with abnormal spending habits. One time I tried to buy a ton of almonds.”

“A literal ton, like two thousand pounds,” Rhodey adds.

“Mania?” Steve repeats hesitantly.

“Are you saying—Tony, do you have bipolar disorder?” Bruce asks, eyes wide.

Tony shrugs. “I was told… Manic depression? I was diagnosed twenty years ago though, so the terminology has probably changed. I never kept up on therapy. Always felt like the board was just looking for excuses to commit me,” he admits uncomfortably.

“He gave me control of his accounts after he spent three million on junk cars because he was going to fix all of them. The mania faded before he could, so he just had three million dollars worth of junk cars and no energy to fix them,” Rhodey explains.

Steve’s eyes dart between them. “I don’t know if…” he begins, reaching his hand to push the paperwork away.

“Tony and I came up with the parameters of what should be his ‘normal’ spending together,” Rhodey assures him. “Sat down with a lawyer and accountant and everything. I don’t willfully nitpick every transaction he makes. I just keep my eye out for weird spending habits so he doesn’t attempt to pull out a hundred grand from the bank and pass it out to anyone he meets on the street on the way home.”

“I remember that,” Natasha says suddenly. “So part of the reason you were so pissed about his birthday party when he was dying—”

“His spending was weird and I was worried,” Rhodey confirms. “Like I said. Tony trusts you. I just want you to be aware that I’ll see your spending, too. And I wasn’t kidding about Tony being unable to keep a secret. He has access to the bills too.”

“If he has questions about me buying ten gallons of mustard, that’s his problem,” Clint retorts immediately.

“YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE MUSTARD,” Tony thunders, and Rhodey sighs and puts his head in his hands.

“Do you guys not know what an emergency is?” Steve asks, dismayed. “You think that would be an emergency?”

“I’ll give you the list of guidelines Tony has,” Rhodey sighs. “Although I do appreciate you trying to keep your card specifically for emergencies, Steve. I sort of didn’t expect anything less, but feel free to buy yourself a coffee or something every once in a while.”

“No,” Steve says flatly.

Luckily everyone is very respectful of their cards when they find Rhodey and Tony going over bills together because JARVIS flagged an uptick and they were trying to figure out if it was a “the team is unexpectedly expensive” thing or a “Tony is edging slowly upward and the first sign is that he bought a yacht” thing.

#ideas #bipolar disorder #tony/rhodey brotp #team as family #I’ve noticed a lot of fic where Tony is actively suffering from a mismanaged diagnosis #and I was like ‘but what if he had support from the people he loves’#pepper and happy are in charge while rhodey’s deployed #but they prefer rhodey do it because he has no problem asking ‘why did you spend three hundred dollars at the sex shop’#like Tony wouldn’t not answer them but they know they couldn’t ask without feeling awkward about it

174 notes · View notes

growing-yet-into-magic · 3 years

Note

hi! I’ve been getting more serious with my practice recently and I was wondering what resources/tips/blogs helped you the most when you were starting out or first getting deeper into witchcraft

thank you so much and hope you gave a nice day/night!

Hey, Anon! :D

Well, I have some advice, a short book list, and a few excuses. The problem with creating book recommendations for anonymous asks, is that-- and no offense, anon-- I don’t know you. It makes it a lot harder to personalize the books I recommend to you when I don’t know your likes, dislikes, hard NOs and absolute YESs! (It’s why librarians make small talk with you. How else can we know what you want?)

For instance, when I started leaving my “only looking up spells and never making any” phase, I was Wiccan, which a lot of Witches on tumblr don’t enjoy catering to. The books I were reading included more formal Wiccan and Wiccan-style witchcraft books, such as Circle of the Cosmic Muse, Janet Thompson’s Of Witches and the later Magical Hearth, besides the already interesting Deborah Blake collection. I then moved into the weirdest copy of Aradia, which is pretty directly related to Wicca’s creation as well as Italian witchcraft, as well as Doreen Valiente’s books. I even read Scire’s fiction book. The famous one. It was okay. He didn’t write any compelling characters. Spiral Dance and Drawing Down the Moon are still on my bookshelf. I SWEAR I will get to them but for now they are set dressing.This is all excluding the tome upon tome of Kemetic culture and philosophy I was hauling in my backpack everywhere.

See? Unless you’re in my situation, such as a relatively new Wiccan convert or deeply into the history of Witchcraft in the U.S. , this list doesn’t mean a lot to you.

My recommendation is to simply go deeper into what you are already interested in. Hellenic Pagan? Look into more scholar-based anthropology texts on the culture and religious background. Kitchen witch? Play around with food theory and the process of growing your locally sourced ingredients, and maybe see about taking herbalist courses. Interested in the occult side of things? Fire up archive.org and read some rare magical tomes. There will be a lot of blogs that can recommend you more specific lists as to the basics, backgrounds, and essentials, but it’s time you get down to the nitty gritty of what appeals to you, in the process of getting good at it.

So! More generic advice and book lists:

Follow someone whose craft is not like yours! They will have perspectives that invite you to open up your own. This piece of advice let me really explore more sides of the craft that I would have otherwise avoided, just because it was unfamiliar to me. Familiarity let me confront them more honestly later down the line.

Read! Reading is good for you. If you get tired of it, set it aside and try to read it on the bus or something later on. I enjoy reading at work when I am not supposed to. Ironic.

Go to local events! You don’t have to like the people you meet with, as long as it allows you to meet new people. It reaches the same point as the first piece of advice. Hey, it’s worth at least trying once!

Prune down your toolkit! Some of the things you might have bought or bought into at the beginning of your craft you may not want to use anymore. It’s okay to let that stuff go...or even gift it to a new witch you know.

Understand your ancestors. Every bloodline has perspectives to explore. Learn more about where you came, and how you came to be, and you will learn more about yourself. And, of course, not all ancestors are blood-related. Adopted ancestors and the heads of movements that tie into your sense of personhood also apply.

Edit your Grimoire! Are you still using everything you put in there? Confess-- was there smudging in there? Go in with an eraser. It’s time to clean house.

Get a library card! Book are boring and expensive! Get your library to buy them for you! It’s free!

Go to therapy. It’s therapy.

If you cannot go to therapy, try downloading those therapy worksheets you can find online for free. This is part of “learning about yourself” and “shadow work” that everyone keeps hyping up.

Now. I think that learning from the book is best, because it is easy to go back to when you have to, and is written down in case you forget something. I love books. My book list of general second-step witchcraft recommendations are as follows:

Grovedaughter Witchery by Bree NicGarran! A lot of people recommended it as book #1, but I always thought it made a great book #2. I think it would be a bit overwhelming for a new witch, but it makes a great source of advice for witches looking to expand outwards.

Traditional Wicca by Thorn Mooney. Sure, the likelihood that you’re Wiccan, anon, is pretty low, but I don’t think that this book is necessarily...for Wiccans? Sure it has Wicca in the title, but what it actually is is a tome on how to interact with and apply to a formal spiritual coven or organization. It’s a great primer on the culture of secretive societies and how to spot a good one from a bad one from a mile away.

The Study of Witchcraft by Deborah Lipp is subtitled “Advanced Wicca”, but, again, it’s one of those cases where it’s more about Witchcraft than Wicca but the authors are Wiccan so they conflate the two, and... Listen, this book is a book list in and of itself. There’s some fluff you can ignore, but the book itself is a great resource for advice on looking for older witchcraft books and the history of witchcraft. I recommend it, especially if you’re in the US.

The History of Witchcraft or any book like it-- scholarly, competent, and neutral to witchcraft culture on the whole! The history of witchcraft is nuanced and interesting and often antisemetic on top of being deeply, deeply racist! Read up!

And HERE is @breelandwalker‘s public domain witch book dropbox info! Free is good. Free is very good.

As for blogs...

A lot of the blogs I used to like have Vanished Into the Ether or otherwise Joined the Exodus After the Porn Ban or have just Stopped Posting, but I can recommend @upthewitchypunx @breelandwalker @afrocentric-divination @ancestralmedicinemagic @north-of-annwn @whichwitchami @hillbillyoracle @lazywitchling @thewitchofthenorsetrilogy @therestlesswitch @tarotio @thetwistedrope @mudanglife @madamehearthwitch @heatherwitch...

There are numerous other blogs I want to include, but haven’t the memory to remember their names, haven’t logged on in years, etc, but this is at least a starting list. I try to follow a diverse amount of religion/witchcraft/occult blogs, but if you read my follow list, 90% of the blogs say “have not posted in 278 days” etc.

Go big, go hard, or go home. Witchcraft isn’t for the weak of heart; it’s for the grouchy and grumpy. Just listen to us argue some time! ;)

Blessings!

tips?

#growing-yet #witch books #books #witchcraft #witchblr #wicca #baby witch tips #baby witch #newbie witch #LONG POST #2212

390 notes · View notes