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symphonicmetal101 · 3 years

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Reactions to MC Falling Asleep On/Next To Them

Ok, just for consistency, MC falls asleep on them during a meeting. MC switches spots every meeting to avoid fights.

Lucifer:

He was in the middle of speaking to Diavolo when he felt a weight on his shoulder

To his surprise, amusement, and horror, you had fallen asleep on him....in front of Diavolo (not that he let his emotions show)

However he was concerned that you had fainted, so he tried to wake you up, however Diavolo intervened, saying he had watched you nod off the whole time

He still wanted to wake you up because this was still a meeting that you were supposed to attend.

Diavolo tried to intervene again for your sake, and Lucifer was going to (reluctantly) listen.

However he shifted his arm enough to have you slump forward and nearly hit your head on the table

He managed to catch you in time, helping you into a position on the table that you would be comfortable, cleared his throat, and went on with the meeting.

Oh, but inside he felt a surge of pride that you had come to trust him enough to fall asleep with him near. Nobody could miss the smug smirk that played over his lips for the rest of the meeting.

At the end of the meeting, he stays behind with you. He gives you his coat as a blanket, and a small kiss to your forehead. He promised himself only five minutes more before waking you, but seeing your peaceful face changed his mind.

He scooped you up and took you home.

When you woke up, he denied anything having happened.

Until you confront him with photo evidence from Diavolo

Mammon:

He was only kind of paying attention to the meeting, he was mostly tapping around on his phone, sometimes showing you a picture of himself or something he hoped you would like

However when you slumped against him, he dropped his phone.

"Oi! Whaddya think you're- oh" (whisper-yell if ya know what I'm talking about?)

Once he realizes you're asleep, he blushes a little and moves some hair out of your face.

But he also realizes that now he can't move without waking you up.

But he also doesn't want to be in this damn boring meeting.

It's a calculated risk to try and get his phone back while keeping you asleep, but it's a risk he's willing to take..

....ok so it was a miscalculated risk

He got his phone, but was quick to react to the "thump" of your head hitting the table.

You were awake now, hand to your head, rubbing the sore spot.

You now had the attention of all the brothers.

Cue his brothers getting mad at hin :(

You try to tell them it's not that bad

(This part's a little ooc, sorry)

He grabs your hand and walks out of the meeting, ignoring Lucifer.

He blushes furiously as he pulls you in for a hug, an apology, and a quick peck to where you hit your head.

"Hey, I know I screwed up this time, but ya can't fall asleep on anyone else, got it? Just me. I won't let ya get hurt again."

You laugh it off lightly; you really weren't hurt, but it was endearing to see him so protective of you, him taking the situation a little more seriously than needed.

You hold him close and promise him you're ok, and that of course, you won't go passing out on anyone else.

Levi:

He was playing a game on his phone

You had been leaning over his shoulder every once in a while to check how he was doing

He didn't mind, and got a little blushy every time you got close to him

He thought that was all you were doing when he felt you against him, but you started to feel a little heavier, and you didn't pull away.

He turned to see if you were ok, only to see you were asleep.

His squirming made you fall onto his lap

Poor baby doesn't know what to do

He lost his game, but that doesn't matter now as he looks at you sleeping so peacefully.

His face is fully flushed, and he had a hand over his mouth to prevent any noises from escaping.

He looked over you to your other side, where Asmo was, mouthing the word "help"

Asmo just pouts and mouths back, "with what? You're so lucky!!! Look at them! They're soooo cute!!"

Realizing he didn't really have a way out of this, he tentatively pushed a bit of hair out of your face.

He was still very red for the rest of the meeting

At one point he shifted into his demon form to use his tail to keep you from falling off...he wasn't quite comfortable using his hands yet.

He didn't dare move even after the meeting was over, hissing at Mammon when he made too much noise and you started to stir.

Eventually you woke up in his room. Nobody quite knew how Levi had gotten you there, but if you told him you appreciated the rest, he'll be blushy for ya again.

Satan

He and Belphie were making faces at each other from across the table

Y'know just to spite Lucifer

And to see the look on your face everytime he turned to face you

But after a while Lucifer ignores them, so there was no point.

So his back was to you when he felt you leaning against him

He thought it was kind of weird, but couldn't look back at you. You also weren't responding to him

He shot Belphie a look of confusion, and a bit of concern, but it was Beel who saw it, as Belphie was passed out on the table

He simply pointed at Belphie, and then pointed at you.

Oh?

He desperately wanted to 1. See you sleeping, 2. Move into a more comfortable position, 3. Repostion you so you weren't at risk of falling, like you were now

He used his demon form to hold you up momentarily while he shifted in such a way to hold you properly

He stays in his demon form, his tail wrapped around your waist, your upper body now in his lap

Lucifer tries to convince him to wake you up

So out of spite, Satan falls asleep too, still holding onto you tightly

Asmo:

He's one of the few that actually tries to be engaged at meetings

But when the topic moves off of him, fashion, or MC, he gets bored quickly

He had one hand on yours, idly drawing shapes and designs with his finger while he read the latest fashion news on his D.D.D.

He found an outfit he thought you would love and was eager to share it with you but..

You had fallen asleep on the table, cheek squished up against the surface, gently holding his hand

He had to hold back a squeal of excitement as he opened up the camera on his phone and started taking copious amounts of pictures of your cute face

Once he had his fill, he realized thay your position would be terrible for your back...and neck...and face.

He feels kind of bad, but he's just looking out for you when he gently shakes you awake

You thank him, and refuse to let go of his hand as you wake up

This time the sqeaul of happiness is very audible as he pulls you into a hug and a couple dozen selfies

Beel:

Sweet babie boy is too hungry to pay proper attention in meetings, though he would if he could

So he doesn't notice when you've passed out next to him right away, especially because Belphie does it all the time

It isn't until its time to go that he realizes that you're asleep

At first, he was just going to get some snacks and wait until you woke up

But Asmo pointed out that you would get stiff in that position on the table

So as gently as possible, he moves you into a position he can pick you up in

Belphie gives him his pillow so that you'll be comfortable in his arms until they get home

He tucks you into bed in your room; he treats you like porcelain the whole time, worried that somehow he would hurt you

He leaves the room, but kinda hovers near your door to stop any of his brothers from disturbing you

Belphie

He mever pays attention in meetings, if he even bothers to show up

But today was his turn to sit next to you

Your company didn't stop him from falling asleep though

He woke up about half way through the meeting, but he didn't know why

At least until he tried to move, and felt something on top of him

He whispered to Beel, who lowered himself enough to see his brother's face

"Is this MC?" "Yeah?" "Ok."

He falls back asleep, although his face is slightly flushed as he buries it into his arms because you're just too cute!

Hours later he wakes up to Beel carrying him home on one arm, and you on the other. He tried to let you guys sleep, but he didn't want you guys to stay overnight at the school

By some miracle, you were still asleep, so Belphie happily took you into his arms this time before he passed out too.

Diavolo:

Diavolo made room for you to sit next to him at the head of the table

While the others didn't know, but you were holding his hand with both of yours, in your lap.

It felt very intimate for him, as the most he had done in years was shake hands or maybe give Lucifer a pat on the back

So he was a smiley babie the entire time, only partially listening to what Lucifer was saying to him

His partial attention went completely out the window when he felt your weight on his arm.

Lucifer looked mortified, however Diavolo had a rather surprised look

You...you fell asleep on him

You fell asleep on him!

He was very happy. It was a sign of trust, the trust you had in him and in everyone in the room. Not to mention, that was the closest anyone had been to him in a long time

Lucifer was going to apologize on your behalf, but Diavolo wouldn't have it

He gently shook you awake, taking in your dazed eyes.

He just woke you up to reposition you on his lap; it's far more comfortable than that chair anyways

He held you with one arm, dismissed the meeting, and relished (is that a bad choice of words for someone who hates pickles?) His time with you.

His other arm was busy dismissing Lucifer, and once they had left...

He took hundreds (literally) of photos of you in his lap, him poking your cheek, and some that no one else were to see, but he placed small kisses on your head.

Although he was upset to let you go, Barbatos and Lucifer encouraged forced him to take you home and let you sleep in your bed.

He personally carried you home, however if you grab his wrist before he goes and ask him to stay, he'll be powerless against you. Fuck off Luci, and screw royal duties

Barbatos:

He doesn't sit down at meetings, as he is he butler.

But you managed to sneak off under the guise of going to the bathroom, and found him in the kitchen

He was preparing refreshments for after the meeting when you came and hugged him from behind, burying your face in his back

He just chuckled at you, but continued to prep, using magic to pass him the things he needed so he wouldn't have to move

What caught him off guard was when he heard a small snore, and you starting to slip sideways on his back

....how did you fall asleep standing up? Humans are capable of that?

In any case, he turned around to support you so you wouldn't fall, left the refreshments and carried you to a small couch

He used a small energy spell to help you wake up, and left to finish the refreshments

A few minutes later, you found him again, and thanked him for letting you rest.

You got one of his rare smiles. He then reminded you that you had a meeting to return to

"That's still going?? I thought I was asleep for hours."

He shook his head and smiled fondly as you exaggerated a groan.

"I'll accompany you there. I have tea for My Lord and the guests."

Simeon:

He always pays attention, but when he gets bored, you and he play tic-tac-toe on a scrap of paper.

He was waiting for you to pass the paper back, but after some time had passed, he decided to turn and look at you

You were asleep on the table, and Luke was poking you, trying to get you to wake up.

He gently asked Luke to leave you alone. You were clearly worn out, and this was one of the few times the brothers weren't causing chaos.

He returned to listening to the meeting, absentmindedly stroking your hair and back while you rested

He helped Luke use his hat as your pillow, so your face wouldn't turn red or get hurt

When the meeting ended, he gently woke you up, and offered to walk you home, hoping the walk would help you re-energize a bit, as well as taking advantage of the rare quiet moments you two had.

You guys ended up walking for ages, so when you finally stopped in front of HOL, the guys were freaking out because you hadn't answered your phone.

You hid behind and pushed him through the brothers like a shield, and to your room, where you cuddled until Luke called Simeon because Solomon was trying to cook again.

Luke:

He's a child

He gets bored very easily

So you and he have little handshakes and other games to play discreetly during meetings

However, you had been caught by Lucifer, so you decided to stop for a bit.

Luke was caught off guard when you put your head down on the table

"...MC? Are you ok?"

You tell him you're fine, you just have a bit of a headache, so he resigns and let's you rest

But then he hears you snore

"MC?! You're going to get in trouble again!"

He tried poking at your cheek, small tugs to your hair, and continued to talk to you.

His desperation caught Simeon's attention

When he explains what's wrong, Simeon encourages him to let you sleep

But now he's bored again

So he starts moving your face for you, making you look angry, upset, happy, etc. Before anyone can catch him

Eventually he realizes that he's going to be stuck there for a while, and he's getting kind of tired too.

So he falls asleep next to you, holding your hand

That way he'll know when you wake up, and if he needs your help to get out of trouble, he can squeeze your hand.

By some miracle, (Called Simeon and Beel) you guys ended up in your respective beds.

Luke called you as soon as he woke up to check on you

Solomon:

Surprisingly, he is very attentive at meetings

Mostly because he wants to impress Lucifer and butter him up to make a pact with him

But that doesn't change the fact that when he notices you starting to fall asleep, he takes action

By taking action he makes your eye twitch with a quick spell

"What the fuck? Solomon, why?" "Because, if I have to be here, you have to be awake." "You couldn't have just cast an energy spell or something? Seriously?"

Yes, seriously.

He needs entertainment, and your silent frustration is hilarious for him to watch

Until the meeting is over and you tackle him, causing chaos to break loose.

I hope y'all liked that, Ik I have a huge WIP list and I don't even stick to it. Oh well. Thank you to @aceaine for helping me keep on track😁

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me thoughts #obey me headcanons #obey me reactions

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hacked-by-jake · 3 years

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Heey, I love your headcanons, thanks for giving us such adorable lines! I was wondering if you could go into some angst with happy ending headcanon? Like Mc wants to go to Duskwood and Jake desagrees? Feel free to pick the reasons tho <3 anything you write will be wonderful

Headcanon

Summary: Break a promise and still be lucky that he trusts you anyway.

A/n: So first of all, as always, Hi and thanks for your request. And next, thank you so much for the kind words, I’m really really glad you like it! <3

So here we are, again I don’t know if you can call this a right headcanon but it is a bulleted list xD😅

I hope you’ll like it anyway and it gets to your expectation. At least, a bit.

So, have fun. Take care of yourself and stay healthy.🌹🎭

Again, of course: sorry for the mistakes.

Your feelings for him and your promise stand in your way.

When you decided it was best to go to Duskwood, your biggest concern was the hacker, Jake.

"I promise I won’t go to Duskwood"

But at that moment, you didn’t know that Richy would be attacked so badly a few hours later. And it’s your fault, you think.

How can you just leave your friends, your new friends that you’ve grown fond of, alone there and watch them get attacked because of you. Because you’re a danger to a kidnapper, to a murderer.

You can’t just leave it like that. You have to do something. You have the hope that if you are there yourself, the man without a face will focus on getting you and leaving the others out.

You know what you’re getting into, you saw it on two others who were personally attacked, Cleo was filmed, Phil was arrested. And two of your best friends got hurt.

It’s your duty to go to Duskwood, isn’t it?

But if it weren’t for the feelings for the mysterious hacker, and your promise that you shouldn’t have given him at all.

You should have realized that you’re going to get to the point where you have to go to Duskwood. You should have thought of that and made no promise.

But you did it.

And now you have to live with the consequences that lie ahead, even if you will hurt Jake.

But how was that? How much should one do for one life if the lives of others, of several, also come into danger? And even if you hurt Jake with it, and you don’t want to, you have to put your own wishes down and do the right thing.

And this is: saving your friends.

To find Hannah.

And hope Jake can forgive you.

The fact is, you need a lot of luck.

It’s hard to tell Jake first that you’re going to Duskwood, but if you tell the others first, he’d read it. And then he’d be even more disappointed.

Damn, eyes shut and go for it.

Your bag is packed, you’re ready.

All right, let’s go.

"Jake, are you there?"

"I need to talk to you."

"And please listen to me first"

His answer comes quickly, faster than you thought, faster than you hoped.

"Hello, MC :)"

Oh please not the smiley, please not, this grin that you imagine he’s really smiling when he writes it. And that’s because of you. And you’re about to betray him. Because that’s what you’re doing. A betrayal.

"I’m so sorry, Jake..."

"What are you sorry about?"

With a heavy heart you write the sentence, which takes your breath away.

"I have to go to Duskwood"

Silence, silence, and even more silence, deafening minutes, nothing happens.

You want to ask him if he’s still there, there comes his answer.

"You made a promise," he reminds you, but you remember too well.

"I know" you know it, he doesn’t know how much you still know it, it rings in your head, over and over again.

"You promised me, MC, you said you wouldn’t go to Duskwood, you promised ME."

He insists, you promised him, no matter what, you’re not going there.

But there’s no other way, you have to.

"Jake, it’s my fault the others are in danger. I can’t watch them get hurt, and I, the main person aside from Hannah, sit miles away and watch."

"And I can’t just watch you put yourself in danger. Mc, please don’t do this. Don’t do it for me. Don’t do this to me."

Ouch.

You didn’t expect such a reaction, don’t do that to me. Sit ready with your bag in your apartment and tell the man you’ve developed feelings for that you want to put yourself in danger, breaking your promise.

"Jake, please, understand me, I don’t want this, but I have no choice"

"You have one! One between your safety and my concern and between a kidnapper"

Ok.. wow...Between a kidnapper and him? He makes it look like you’re choosing a killer?

"Don’t say it like that. Don’t say that like I’m going to go against you and choose a kidnapper. I choose the safety of my friends, Jake!"

"And break your promise to me"

You sigh, what shall you do? It is certain that you will go; so it is, and so it will remain.

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry I’m putting myself in danger. I’m sorry to disappoint you"

"I’m really disappointed," he replies.

And again, Ouch.

What’s worse than someone getting mad? If someone’s disappointed, and then it’s Jake, who’s become so important to you. The last one you want to hurt, the one you’re hurting in this moment.

Tears fill your eyes. You try to blink it away but it doesn’t work. Until the first one rolls over your face.

"I’m sorry, I have to do it!"

"I won’t let you do this, MC, I won’t let you go to Duskwood alone"

You swallow, you hurt him, you hurt him, you break what he trusts most, your word, you, the only person he trusts. And it turns out you lied.

"But you can’t stop me either"

He’s offline, he didn’t answer you, you’re already feeling bad enough, is he so angry? So hurt?

Of course he is, and you would be too, if you were him.

Every joy of your journey (the few you had, after all, this is not a fun trip) has passed when you look out of the window of the train and the landscape passes by you.

You’ve been trying to reach him.

Several messages, no response, even calls, but here again, no response, of course not.

One of your messages is clearly different from the others, marked by grief and anger. And in this message, it’s your opinion, why you’re going to Duskwood, you told him why you have to go. Even if he takes everything rationally and without great emotions, you are not.

You’re different, you sent him the comparison.

As much as he fears for you, as much you fear for your friends.

Your heart feels heavy. Too heavy, heavier than it should be. Damn it, you don’t know each other for long, and yet, he trusts you. Only you. Or rather, trusted you. And now, he probably doesn’t trust anyone anymore.

Why does everything have to be so hard? Why does the man without a face have to destroy your life like that? What the fuck do you have to do with all this? You don’t know Hannah at all!

Every second you look at your phone, hoping to get a message from the hacker. Has he seen your messages? Out of your emotions, they have become quite personal. Told him how much you cared about him, how sorry you were for betraying him.

This is the best prerequisite to go to Duskwood and catch a killer.

Yey.

35 minutes until you reach Duskwood, 35 minutes and then you walk into the unknown. You have no idea what’s going to happen, don’t know what could happen to you.

Are you going to get hurt? Maybe you’ll die? Then what? Is Jake right? Is it stupid? So stupid to come here?

The train goes to the station of Colville, a large and anonymous city. These people all have secrets. And no one knows how big and heavy these secrets maybe are.

People get out, other people get in. Families, couples, individuals.

With small bags, with travel bags, with suitcases, or with nothing.

You clear the seat next to you. Someone wants to sit with you. You’d rather be alone, but it’s not that simple.

"Sorry, there I sit"

You’re pulling your eyebrows together. Ready to tell whoever the young man is, the other was there first. But you won’t be able to speak. A tattoo on the hand of the second man.The same motif as the eye of the hacker.

"We are a couple"

It’s the excuse to really sit next to you, and it works. The man gets up and leaves.

Your gaze is still on the tattoo that adorns his hand, then you let your gaze slide into the man’s face, or rather, in Jakes face. A cold look lies on you, a disappointed one, a angry one.

He’s slowly sinking into the square beside you. You just keep staring at him, thinking about what to say.

"Jake" you breathe quietly.

"No, don’t say anything, just don’t say anything," he immediately cuts you off, "Just go ahead with Hannah’s cloud. Then at least we use this time"

You don’t dare to contradict, you don’t dare to do anything at all.

It takes two minutes and a glance from Jake until you dare to open your phone, to move. Much too frightened and stiffened by this whole situation.

The redness that rises in your cheeks as your background image shows up, Jake’s message with a simple smiley face, doesn’t make the situation any better.

And also not the side look of the hacker, who now knows your background image. And who cannot restrain himself from a very light, only indicated smile.

It takes about 20 minutes for a growl to escape you, you just can’t get anywhere. The next part of the cloud simply doesn’t want to be unlocked.

Jake looks at you from the laptop on his lap.

"This shit," you mumble, and he takes your phone away.

"Let me help you," he murmurs quietly and immediately starts decrypting.

Curiously, you lean over to him a little. Your shoulder bumps against his, and at lightning speed he turns his head, just like you, in that direction. Quickly you retreat a bit back and then meet the look of Jake. Your heads are only a few inches apart and you can smell his cologne.

For a minute, none of you move, you’re just staring at each other with uncertainty.

Then Jake clears his throat, and you moved away from him another bit.

"Sorry," you say, and keep your distance while he unlocks the next file in a few minutes. Like as a matter of course, he sends the picture of Hannah, which won’t help, to his chat.

Briefly, his gaze gets stuck on your messages when the chat messenger automatically opens with the sending of the image.

Without a word, he’ll give you back your phone and move on.

For the next few minutes it is quiet between you two, then he clears his throat again.

"I read the messages, MC"

You are freezing up. It’s unpleasant to talk about it sitting next to each other.

He’ll probably tell you now that there’s no point in it, that it can’t be done.

"Sorry," you mumble again, looking out the window.

"I think I got it," he admits against all your expectations.

"I think your comparison with you and me and with you and your friends makes sense"

"Really?" you look confused.

He laughs lightly, "Yes, really, actually, I have no right to forbid you to go to Duskwood. I am not someone who is in a position to tell you this, and my fear is not a reason to be mad at you."

You’re a little perplexed, "Really now?"

"Yes, and I’m sorry. Even if I don’t apologize for my concern for you"

"You don’t have to be sorry, you’re right, it’s dangerous and maybe stupid, but I have to do this. And I’m sorry I’m pulling you into this, you shouldn’t be here at all!"

Now you get panicked, what is he even doing here? Is he crazy? What if his pursuers can find in now.

"MC, I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t sure it was okay," he explains, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

"I don’t believe you"

"I don’t either, but it doesn’t matter now, it’s about you and Hannah.. and your friends. And I have the feeling that this is what I have to do now," but he still sounds a bit uncertain.

"Nevertheless, you should not be here" you bite yourself, angry at yourself, on the lower lip.

"Just as much as you shouldn’t be here, so I guess we’re even. You’re here to protect your friends, and I’m here to protect you. And together we will save Hannah" He sounds like a hero making a speech. And he is, he putting himself in danger to save you, he is a hero, your hero.

Masterlist

"And I still trust you, MC. You told me before you told the others, you trust me, so I trust you too. Only you, don't forget that"

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood headcanon #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood everbyte #everbyte #everbyte studios #everbyte game #duskwood game

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blossom-hwa · 3 years

Text

college model!juyeon

SO the people have spoken (aka 3 people but it’s more than 0 so I DON’T CARE) and without further ado HERE WE GO IT’S A COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON BLURB. please reblog if you enjoyed and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3

pairing: juyeon x gender neutral!reader

wc: 2.4k

genre: fluff, a bit of angst when mc is stressed, university!au

triggers: cursing, like the tiniest bit of suggestive stuff but absolutely nothing explicit (it’s really just saying juyeon is hot which wbk)

fashion major!kevin

TBZ Scenarios Masterlist | TBZ Drabbles Masterlist

so juyeon isn’t actual a professional model-model like he just happens to be v tall and v handsome and therefore catches the eye of every single fucking fashion major (and other people too) on campus but i’m focusing on the fashion majors because he is LITERALLY model material. have you seen those fucking arms and that fucking face ANYWAY MOVING ON juyeon is an absolute sweetheart behind those stupid muscles and anyone who works with him swears it is impossible like legitimately impossible not to fall in love with his dumb little smile but the thing is juyeon only really agrees to model for fashion major kevin usually like sometimes kevin will pull in a favor and ask him to model for someone else who can’t find anyone (bc let’s be real kevin’s got a lot of friends he could definitely rope someone into modeling for him /cough the other 2/3 of bermuda line cough/ but more often than not kevin takes juyeon not bc juyeon is like the best model or whatever (he’s good obv but some people probably have more experience) but bc juyeon is the only one who will willingly wear some of kevin’s more questionable choices

and the fucking thing is. he still looks good in them. he walks down the runway in this weird ass shirt and pants or whatever the hell kevin’s cooked up for this assignment and people are like.... IT’S SO WEIRD BUT WHY IS JUYEON PULLING IT OFF

so YEAH juyeon is happily modeling his way through college while doing a dance major (one time kevin did his makeup to purposely make him look slightly sweaty and the crowd went fucking insane) and he’s got a lot of things going for him, looks, talent, hard work, etc. and he’s v good at dancing, one of the top in his year so in exchange for his modeling work kevin goes to his dance recitals/competitions to cheer him on and that’s actually how juyeon meets you

you’re feeling shitty bc you just broke up with your partner for whatever reason, let’s just say it was not an amicable breakup and you were about to hole yourself up in 1. the dorm or 2. the lab and just drown yourself in work to forget everything but kevin is one of your good friends and he rolls up and is like. nah. fuck no i’m taking you out we are going to get lunch and then we are going to go see my model friend at one of his dance recitals i promise you it will be FUN and??? you can’t exactly refuse because it’s kevin and he’s not wrong you actually do need to go outside and get some fresh air bc the only time you have left a building over the past week or so is to 1. go to class/the lab from your dorm or 2. to go to your dorm from class/the lab (you are a science major here bc i am a science major and i am heavily projecting ok don’t come at me. though i will say you do theoretical physics which i DO NOT DO but i think it’s cool if mind-blowing so again. projection. despite the fact that i will not touch quantum mechanics after today with a ten foot pole)

so kevin forces you outside and the day is going ok like it’s nice out and he pays for the food and the dance recital is amazing and juyeon has this mf solo that’s absolutely gorgeous and you’re like hitting kevin in the shoulder like omg dude how did you score a friend this talented and he’s like??? what the fuck do you mean by that are you saying i’m not talented and you’re like. well. and then he threatens to deck you but it’s all in good fun anyway MOVING ON when the recital is over kevin drags you over to meet juyeon bc he’s like! it is unacceptable that two of my good friends do not know each other and juyeon if you’re not doing anything you should come with us to dinner! and juyeon is like well i was going to go out with the dance team but you two could come with us and he’s all smiley and soft and you half want to praise the heavens and half want to go to hell bc he looks so sweet and happy and lovely and it’s an honor to be in his presence but at the same time you haven’t left a building for like a week and you’re pretty sure you still have eyebags that haven’t disappeared (jokes on you they’ll never disappear this is university) but kevin says yes for both of you and so you end up with dinner plans too

and it’s fun! everyone is really nice and even though you know nothing about dance you and juyeon end up having v cool conversation about each other’s interests and all that and you’re so immersed in talking with him that you don’t see kevin giving you side-eyes next to you every five fucking minutes (he’s like well. i didn’t see this coming but i’m not going to complain) and by the end of the night you have juyeon’s number in your phone and you’ve made plans to get coffee before class the next day (you don’t have the same class but they’re in adjacent buildings and at the same time so why not) and you go back to your dorm feeling happier than you’ve felt all week

it continues like this?? like it’s actually v weird bc even when you two don’t have plans to meet up juyeon just magically appears around where you’re supposed to be and when you remark on this at one point juyeon just kinda blushes and diverts the topic which makes you suspicious a little but he’s really sweet and has no stalker-ish vibes and you also double-check with kevin who just fucking starts laughing over the phone until you hang up bc he clearly doesn’t have the brain cells to talk to you anywho this is model juyeon and i haven’t talked about that much but HERE WE GO

kevin has a fashion show assignment coming up and juyeon doesn’t have much time to hang out anymore between fittings with kevin + his own major so you end up carting your ass to the fitting sessions after kevin invites you once to see what’s going on and juyeon actually gets scared by all the numbers n shit on your papers bc like what the fuck y/n are you a computer and you just whap him over the head with your stack of homework and say no shut the fuck up and model pretty boy (you don’t see but juyeon blushes bc you called him pretty. kevin saw though and he’s not impressed) but you end up not focusing on your homework bc kevin has juyeon put on and take off clothes at multiple points during the session and ofc if it’s pants or whatever juyeon goes into a different room but if it’s just a shirt.... let’s just say you get a free show and at some point you’re just like yeah i have to go and kevin’s like?? there’s still an hour left and you say something like i can’t focus here the vibes are off and KEVIN KNOWS WHAT’S UP but juyeon is adorably oblivious so he’s just like! ok! see you later y/n i hope you get your homework done :) and he’s so smiley and cute and you just want to melt and cry bc he’s shirtless which is hot asf but he’s also smiling like that which is cute asf and you’re getting whiplash

(you still end up joining the sessions every so often. you bring homework to try and get it done but your time is either spent critiquing kevin’s fashion choices or staring subtly (not) at juyeon)

then a not good week rolls around and it’s just been absolutely shitty between crap professors and too much homework and your lab is working on submitting a paper soon and you’re stressed to the max and to top things off you saw your ex earlier and they tried to talk to you and you really didn’t want to have it so you’re in the lab crying over your computer while you try to proofread the stupid paper and your phone is off bc you don’t want to talk to anyone but then the door bursts open and you nearly have a heart attack and there juyeon stands in clothes that definitely aren’t his own (they’re too sleek and fancy to be normal clothes at least) and his eyes are kinda wild before they locate you in the corner of the room, shell-shocked and confused and also still crying a little bit out of stress

and oh god juyeon’s eyes just soften totally and he walks over and before you know it you’re being pulled into a juyeon hug which is quite possibly one of the best hugs you have felt in a very long time and you’re doing your best not to break down right then and there bc his clothes feel hella expensive and he’s asking you what’s wrong and you can’t speak bc if you do you’ll cry on his model clothing and you finally manage to say that and there’s a beat of silence and then juyeon just goes well would it help if i took the shirt off

AND THAT JUST SETS YOU OFF AND NOW YOU’RE CRYING AND LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME AND JUYEON IS HALF SMILING HALF UPSET THAT YOU’RE STILL SAD BUT LIKE IT’S FINE IT’S TOTALLY FINE AND somehow you manage not to ruin kevin’s latest fashion creation (which makes juyeon look unfairly handsome even through your puffy eyes) and juyeon closes your laptop and takes you out to the convenience store (still dressed in his modeling outfit jfc) and over shitty ramen and alcohol (or water/juice/whatever if you don’t drink) you tell him about your crap week and juyeon commiserates and listens

at some point you ask him why he’s still wearing kevin’s clothes like?? surely you weren’t running around in them all day and juyeon just looks down and mumbles something and you’re like speak louder dude i can’t hear you and apparently he was in the middle of a session w kevin and kevin looked super stressed and worried and juyeon asked what was up and he told him about how you weren’t responding to anything and juyeon just. booked it the fuck out of there to find you and well now here you both are

and that. that just touches the FUCK out of you and wow you’re crying again bc of that and out of guilt for not talking to kevin or anyone and juyeon’s freaking out like oh my god please stop crying did i say something wrong and you’re just wiping your tears away with a napkin like no you doofus i’m sorry i made you worried it was just that shitty week and??? why did you sprint out of there IN KEVIN’S MODEL CLOTHES you gotta give those back??? and it looks like silk you know that’s going to be a bitch to clean

juyeon just pouts then and mumbles something under his breath and is like. it’s not more important than you.

which makes you reel bc that sounded a lot more like a confession than you’re really ready to process and juyeon seems to realize that at the same time and now you two are both just wide-eyed staring at each other and juyeon’s ears are going red and you’re still in shock and at some point you’re like... juyeon you stupid bastard say that again and he DOES and okay maybe you’re not dating by the end of the night but you sure are two weeks later when you ask him whether or not this is now a date and if he’s your boyfriend and juyeon spills coffee all over himself

(he mumbles yes as you’re wiping the coffee off his front though so it’s fine)

(it does not help that the coffee has now made the outline of his stomach visible)

anyway in general it’s a v cute and v sweet relationship :D juyeon is head over heels for you and you’re head over heels for him too and you’re not like the over the top sweet and gross couple you two like to keep it a little low-key but ofc that doesn’t stop kevin from banning you from fitting sessions w juyeon out of fear that you’ll like make out while juyeon’s wearing the modeling clothes but that’s just kevin being a little shit so it’s fine

juyeon manages to bring that silk shirt back to kevin in one clean piece

you manage not to die every time you go to one of juyeon’s dance recitals (even when he puts in a fake eyebrow piercing and you almost have a heart attack)

juyeon often likes to come into the lab for nothing other than to watch you work bc according to him its fascinating to watch you manipulate numbers and actually the lab is a v nice and quiet place to get things done when it’s mostly empty so you have a few study dates there

you go to juyeon’s dance practices sometimes when you have nothing better to do and get excited over showing him the physics of some of the dance moves and juyeon understands almost none of it but he’s beaming bc you’re so excited and animated while talking about it and the first time this happens is when you two have your first kiss. you ask juyeon if he was kissing you to shut you up and he says no i just thought you looked so happy that i had to kiss you

juyeon is a gentleman and you are like the sarcastic best friend turned lover but it really works out and yea there are a lot of people jealous that you managed to wrap juyeon around your finger but you’re also wrapped around his it’s v much a partnership where both of you rely on each other and yeah. it’s sweet. it’s lovely. juyeon hot but more important juyeon best boyfriend ever <3

and that’s how it goes.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s clothes let’s all pray that no tears stain his silk)

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wedreamedlove · 4 years

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Speech Quirks in MLQC

Archived Reddit post but this is the improved and updated version. I've linked the Reddit one though because @sharinluna made fantastic comments which I hadn't considered.

Spoilers include content up to Chapter 18 and some unreleased calls and cards. None of these are plot lines though, just snippets to support their speech quirks. Also, my eternal disclaimer is that I'm pulling from CN lines so don't be alarmed if the quotes differ.

BAI QI

The cutest habit this man has is defaulting into a sincere and solemn tone whenever he doesn't know how to respond to MC. He's so genuine it hurts. It's especially apparent when he goes along with weird topics.

Here are some examples of Bai Qi being an adorably confused puppy but trying to do his best. He always takes MC's concerns seriously:

[CN Soaked Heart SSR Misunderstanding Date] Context is they keep misunderstanding each other today. "Though I don't understand women's hearts, yours is the only one I don't want to get wrong. Can you give me some more time?"

[Lightbath SSR Tenderness] Context is after he excessively praises MC to her embarrassment. "I'm sorry, maybe it's because I didn't convey it well enough. But I just wanted to express all my thoughts out. Next time, I hope I can use a better way to express them to you."

[Summer Loving SSR Undo Fail Call] Context is MC having a terrible day and mis-sent her messages to Bai Qi. "If you don't want to go to work then you can take a day off. As for your hairline... how about..."

[Blaze Up SSR Age Rage Call] Bai Qi takes MC's opening extremely seriously, thinking something happened, before having a small laugh at her being called "auntie" by the boy. But he immediately regains his seriousness to talk it over with her.

It's not that Bai Qi doesn't get jokes, but his response to them tends to be serious too (which leads to unintentional killer lines). I think his humor tends towards more of the deadpan kind, like Li Zeyan (except Li Zeyan has some witty sharpness).

I've also seen people mention this phrase and I love it because it encapsulates him so well: Bai Qi is either shy and blushes or he goes straight for the kill LOL.

Here are some examples of lines that may sound sleazy or too flirty if they weren't delivered in such a straight and sincere manner LOL:

[Cold Shower R Refreshing Moments] When you pick the choice saying you thought he was going to upload a picture he goes: "Um... I can DM you." I've seen that he uses a smiley in English but it's not there in Chinese.

[Against the Light SR Sweet Bomb Moments] When you pick the choice saying that he's become cola-flavored he asks: "What do I normally taste like?"

[2018 Valentine's Text] I chose a conversation path which had me telling Bai Qi that he needs to get used to pet hair if he's going to raise a pet and that one day I'd like to raise one. He seriously promises to do his best to get used to pet hair and asks to raise one together.

[Grocery Moments] When you pick the choice that he can use his other hand to carry bags he answers simply: "My other hand is for holding yours, so I can't use it."

Honestly, the takeaway in Bai Qi's speech is the unconditional support and love he gives to MC. He never questions her feelings about things, and oftentimes vehemently objects to her thinking she's bothering him or that her problems are trivial or silly.

He wants to hear about her happy news, her sad news, and everything about her. (I joke that Bai Qi is the perfect fit for the meme where it's like "Why are you crying?" "Oh, it's just these onions" "What the hell did you say to my girlfriend!?").

He always gives a heads up before he acts, even though he generally tends to be moving already. Like going to pick up MC in the rain or at any other location.

I wouldn't be surprised if some of this came from his family life. Through his Rumors and Secrets and [Seize SSR Sad Thoughts Call] you can get an idea that his mother didn't have any standing with his father, often got cut off, and nothing she wanted or felt mattered.

Even though Bai Qi was young at that time it probably left a mark on him because he never does that with MC; he lets her express herself before he brings up any of his feelings. Her feelings are always valid, but he does tend to be a proactive fixer and provides solutions if he can (much like Li Zeyan). Bai Qi will try to solve MC's problems, but I'm sure if she just wanted to rant then he'll gladly listen (ex. [Blaze Up SSR Age Rage Call]).

One other notable thing is that, in Asian cultures, social harmony is very important and that's why there's a culture around speaking indirectly and preserving the other person's dignity.

So Bai Qi's indifference and ability to cut straight to the point probably doesn't stand out that much in the West but it's actually a bit shocking and impactful in Chinese. Especially because he doesn't shy away from expressing his feelings. He might stutter, cough, clear his throat, and be all embarrassed but then he just delivers monologues of blunt emotion (ex. [Love Of My Life SSR Goodnight Wish & Wish Calls]).

I find that Bai Qi and Li Zeyan are the most stereotypical types of masculinity among the four men.

ZHOU QILUO

As always, I need to thank my Luoluo-loving friend for the discussion here because I always have the least thoughts on him. Oops.

I don't think I'd be wrong in saying he has the most range among all the men. He gets to play with a pouting baby voice, his acting hero voice, his KEY voice, his Helios voice, and then his normal voice.

He has a harder speech habit to pin down because of this massive range, but I think you can catch how he leans into a sly or teasing tone. He's very quick with comebacks and jokes and I'd say he's the first to establish an inside joke with MC (both being each other's superheroes).

He and MC have a relationship where they're both building each other up. If Bai Qi provides unconditional support and acceptance then Zhou Qiluo is all about cheering her on whenever possible.

It's also interesting to point out that even though he's so emotive on the outside, when things are serious he goes deadly quiet and calm. You can see that in Chapter 8, 14, and his Helios persona in Chapter 17. They say watch out for the quiet ones, but more like watch out for the people who use their jokes and loudness to hide their quiet intensity.

I'm not sure how clear this came across in English but Luoluo notably repeats himself on several occasions in Chinese. It's sad because it's like he's reassuring the person he's talking to and himself at the same time.

[Main Story 14-20] "It'll be okay, it'll definitely be okay [...] You'll be okay."

[Main Story 14-20] "Miss Chips, wait for me... will you wait for me?"

I've also noticed that, even though he tries to be as genuine as possible, he's actually not as emotionally open as someone like Bai Qi. Luoluo tends to bring up his own emotions in a third-person or hypothetical perspective. For example:

[Call after Main Story 11-8: Important Decision] Luoluo calls and talks around the subject of an important decision he needs to make (aka. turning into Helios) and whether or not MC would be able to accept him if he changed completely into another person.

[CN ASMR Bear Cub's Troubles] He tells a story about a number of bears doing things and they're clearly supposed to represent him but he never admits that either.

We're about to hear much more from Helios but, as a start, he's extremely curt. Luoluo is definitely pulling an opposite here with his speech style, but it's neat how you can hear tones of Zhou Qiluo throughout too.

See, there's these things called modal particles in Chinese that you stick on the end of your sentences to give them meaning, emphasize meaning, strengthen meaning, or soften the meaning and tone.

Luoluo has the habit of using one 啊 (ah) which can have all these sort of meanings and other ones you just sort of pick up on:

[attached to the end of a sentence to indicate admiration]

[attached to the end of a sentence to show approval or self-protectiveness or to urge or enjoin]

[attached to the end of a sentence to indicate doubt]

[sign of pause in the middle of a sentence to draw attention to what one is going to say next]

[attached to the end of each item enumerated]

In Luoluo's case it makes his sentences sound more excited and younger and goes really well with his bright atmosphere. However, when he's Helios, this modal particle is dropped completely. Helios is flat, blunt, and basically pulling a Li Zeyan LOL.

XU MO

I think I've talked way too much about how Xu Mo is a wordsmith LOL but I'm always impressed by how he can corner MC into accepting his invitations without it being creepy. But I suppose this is a point of contention due to localization decisions and voice direction.

Putting that aside, it has to be noted that Xu Mo asks for a lot of permission. His speech style is designed to get you to lower your guard as much as possible, which I've touched on in my wordsmith post.

Again, returning to modal particles, Xu Mo has ones that basically gives all his sentences a "May I?" "Could I?" "Would you...?" style.

[Sound of Silence SSR The Little Prince Call] "Would you like to hear what I have to say?"

[Call after Main Story 3-1: Movie Invitation] "Then, would this lady be willing to watch Manhattan with me this Sunday?"

[CN Archery Date] "May I ask this lady here for some assistance?"

To be more specific, he uses a lot of 吧 (ba) which has these sort of meanings (the first one especially):

[a particle used at the end of the sentence to indicate discussion, suggestion, request, or instruction]

[an indication of agreement or approval at the end of the sentence]

[an indication of doubt or guess at the end of the sentence]

[an indication of uncertainty in the sentence]

[it can express a pause, tone of assumption, difficulty in making a choice, or dilemma in the sentence]

You can imagine how much this softens his sentences right? It's why he's so good at sounding disarming LOL and then you walk away and take 5 seconds to realize he said something alarming and/or got you to accept a date.

On another note, much like Bai Qi, Xu Mo quietly accepts all of MC's feelings and doubts. But he's much more of a natural at gently refuting her points and wording things in a way that helps her mature slowly (a big theme with him).

Compared to the others, he checks more often on whether MC wants to listen to his opinion before he gives it. Or, he supports his view from an empirical standpoint (like how he's been the adviser to Miracle Finder pretty much at the beginning and seen her growth from there).

Because of how his speech habit is designed to be soft when he's Xu Mo, it makes his Ares persona really interesting. He drops his softeners and speaks in a more clipped tone but he still maintains his politeness.

At the news conference in Chapter 16 you can hear how he uses starts using rhetoric to push the MC around (as a mix between Ares and cold Xu Mo). He actively challenges her opinions, compared to before when he was just providing alternative (and supportive) views. The news conference is actually amazing because in Chinese they both become EXCESSIVELY polite to demonstrate this new distance between them after Chapter 13.

CRIES WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT XU MO AND ARES. So, Xu Mo also has a quirk that's very apparent in his ASMRs where he repeats himself because he flusters the MC so bad she's always like "Huh!?".

But as Ares he literally has a line where he coolly says that he doesn't like to repeat himself and that he won't repeat himself...

Switching gears, Xu Mo also shares a habit with Li Zeyan where they give nonverbal responses. In Xu Mo's case, he goes "Mm?" "Hm?" or "Oh?" and tends to raise the end of his sentences to soften them. Li Zeyan just grunts acknowledgements LOL but it's the hottest noise in Chinese.

Lastly, Xu Mo really, really loves nicknaming the MC and has called her kitten, sea otter, this lady, night owl, etc. It's adorable! (I'm not mentioning his use of little fool or silly girl because I'm going to go more into that in Li Zeyan's section.)

LI ZEYAN

Okay, let's get the elephant out of the room. One of his speech quirks is calling MC a dummy, idiot, or moron LOL.

But there's an extremely interesting cultural difference here that people might not be aware of. In Chinese, the word he uses for "idiot" and "dummy" (笨蛋; bendan) is actually light and almost negligent. If I were to give an analogy, it's more like he's calling you "silly" all the time.

Obviously, the fact that you're being called something still hasn't disappeared. But the word Li Zeyan uses lands as a 0.1/10 on the insult scale in Chinese.

I don't have enough background in sociology to explain why this is but there's an interesting talk about the vagueness of Japanese insults vs. English ones that basically applies here to Chinese too:

One likely reason for the relatively few Japanese words for 'fool' is vagueness. In both English and Japanese, the words for 'fool' have meanings that vary along scales of friendly��hostile, or joking–serious. In English, at one end of a scale are words like silly goose and at the other end are words like stupid asshole. And in Japanese, at one end are words like kamaboko baka 蒲鉾馬鹿 'silly chump' and at the other end are words like baka-yarō 馬鹿野郎 'damn fool'. The difference is in the degree of lexical diversification along the scales of meaning. English seems to have more 'fool' words with more specificity – Japanese seems to have fewer 'fool' words with more vagueness. There are decided pragmatic and communicative advantages to such lexical vagueness. If you call me a stupid son-of-a-bitch, I know exactly what you mean. But if you call me a baka-yarō, I cannot be so sure of what you mean. The expression baka-yarō 馬鹿野郎 is one of the most insulting terms in the Japanese lexicon, but it is vague and can range in meaning from an affectionate 'silly-willy' to an abusive 'jerk-off fool'. Baka-yarō is so widely used that it has become semantically weak and vague. Such vagueness can serve to conceal hostility and thus to maintain social harmony.

Carr, Michael (1982). "Baka and Fool". The Review of Liberal Arts. 63: 1–18. Retrieved 2013-04-19.

On this note about insults, all the other guys have their own terms for the MC as well. For example, Xu Mo and Bai Qi use 傻瓜 (shagua; fool, silly melon) with Xu Mo often adding more affection with the diminuitive 小 (xiao; small, little).

I've seen Luoluo take some heat for also calling the MC "stupid" like Li Zeyan but did you know in Chinese he only uses 笨 (ben; dumb) which is even more lighter than Li Zeyan's word? It's like a 0.01/10 on the scale.

Putting this cultural difference of insults aside, I've mentioned above that Li Zeyan is also a fixer of problems like Bai Qi. Except he goes straight for it without checking with the MC (overbearing CEO style). He decides on an action, carries it out, and then tells MC after the fact.

[Marauder SSR Change Hotel Call] He switches her hotel immediately and gets her to move only after he's done it during their call.

[Chapter 11] Pretty much the entirety of this chapter and how he had her treated at the hospital, escorts her to and from work, assigns bodyguards for MC, etc.

Basically, whenever Li Zeyan receives MC's problems, he'll make a dry comment about it first, but then end up solving it.

I also think that, out of the rest of the guys, he questions MC the most on everything (remember, Xu Mo isn't naturally confrontational until he goes cold or Ares-mode). Li Zeyan can't seem to stop himself from challenging MC's views and opinions every step of the way (in his mind, he's doing it for her own good).

On a side note, I think he also has the habit of being unable to say what he truly wants to say sometimes and you can hear him swallow back a lot of words or just sigh heavily. For example:

[Call after Main Story 11-19: Routine Greeting] Granted he was really emotional due to story reasons here. But there were so many pregnant pauses and heavy silence.

[Gentle Confrontation SSR Tacit Game Call] In Chinese, when MC opens with her question you can actually hear him go "Uh..." LOL. IT'S HILARIOUSLY CUTE. But the rest just has him sighing deeply.

I mentioned above that he and Bai Qi share a similar sense of humor in being deadpan, but Li Zeyan definitely takes it to another level. He also delivers a serving of dry wit or sarcasm. I think it's cute that he mimics the MC a lot though and their inside joke is him recalling everything she's called him.

[Main Story 11-16] Same speech pattern. "Are you Li Zeyan...?" "... Are you a moron?"

[Winter Infatuation SSR Before Sleep Call] "Even though on the way back you were clearly crying, 'Ah, so tired... ah, so sleepy...', the moment you get home you have the energy to turn on the computer?"

There's too many occasions where he quotes her words about him being an unsmiling K(ing), but whenever it happens some cute back and forth ribbing gets brought up. Like how it slipped out of her mouth, but he just so happened to recall it too and it's not like he remembers this stuff on purpose or keeps it in his mind. Uh huh.

Despite how exasperated he gets though, Li Zeyan never stops participating in all the silly games MC drags him into. Is this true love--- LOL.

Lastly, I want to bring up how Li Zeyan gives nonverbal responses much like Xu Mo except his are like grunts of acknowledgment. His favorite words is probably 嗯 (ng). The sound is more like "en" with a bit of a nasal noise and just means "mm". It can be used as a question too.

But hands down I think it's the hottest noise in Chinese LOL especially when Wu Lei (Li Zeyan's Chinese voice actor) does it in his deep voice. Erm, oops, getting distracted.

My main point here is to say that Li Zeyan leans towards being brief and monosyllabic, moreso than the other men. For example, in [Main Story 18-8] Li Zeyan uses the shortest words possible to reply to Xu Mo. At one point he literally just goes "Reason?".

I actually think he uses the most Chinese idioms to get across his meaning as short as possible (but this would be impossible to carry over in English...). Xu Mo tends to use 4 character combinations too but those are for scientific theories and don't count.

A Chinese player actually compiled the majority of idioms you hear from Li Zeyan LOL and here they are. By the way, these are supposed to be said as one whole phrase but I've added spaces to make the pronunciation clearer:

少见多怪 (shao jian duo guai); lit. seldom seen very strange. It means making a fuss or being excited over something normal.

上蹿下跳 (shang cuan xia tiao); lit. leap up jump down. It means jumping around excitedly and being hyperactive.

当众出丑 (dang zhong chu chou); lit. public fool. It means making a fool of yourself in public or making yourself a spectacle.

差强人意 (cha qiang ren yi); lit. lacking improvement to one's expectation. It means being barely passable or barely satisfactory.

不近人情 (bu jin ren qing); lit. not close to human emotions. It means being unreasonable or inhuman, and this one was actually Li Zeyan asking if MC sees him as this.

乱七八糟 (luan qi ba zao); I don't think you can make this literal but it basically means a complete mess.

自作多情 (zi zuo duo qing); lit. self-made many feelings. It means being full of yourself, like a narcissist, or flattering yourself by thinking people love you when they don't LOL.

漏洞百出 (lou dong bai chu); lit. full of leaks. It means you're full of loopholes, inconsistencies, and all your arguments are faulty.

莫名其妙 (mo ming qi miao); I'm not sure if this can become literal either but it means baffling, ridiculous, or incomprehensible.

想都别想 (xiang duo bie xiang); It literally means don't you even think about it LOL.

笨手笨脚 (ben shou ben jiao); lit. dumb hands dumb legs. It means being clumsy.

罪加一等 (zui jia yi deng); lit. adding a cardinal sin. It basically means becoming doubly guilty or you just keep piling up wrongs.

叽叽喳喳 (ji ji zha zha); lit. chirp chirp. But it basically means you're being a chatterbox, babbling, and jibberjabbering.

Of course we can't forget 笨蛋 (bendan; dummy, idiot) and 白痴 (baichi; moron) which are the insults Li Zeyan uses the majority of the time, the former more than the latter. These aren't idioms though.

#mlqc #mr love queen's choice #love and producer #mlqc victor #mlqc gavin #mlqc lucien #mlqc kiro #mlqc xu mo #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc bai qi #mlqc zhou qiluo #love and produc(ing) meta

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goodwriterwithbadhabits · 5 years

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Day 6

I got to see Day6 tonight and it was honestly the best experience ever. Here's a list of things that each boy did that made my heart do dumb things

Dowon:

Sang

Makes the cutest little faces when he's really getting into the song

Hella jams

Giggles

DRUM SOLO. I WAS SHOOK

He tried so hard to speak English I was so proud of my boy

Sungjin

Makes the best faces while playing

Would stand behind Jae when Jae was talking to make faces on the big screen

Didn't jump around a lot but bounced

Bopped the whole time

His ending speech was entirely in English jae and I were so proud

Wonpil

Poor bby seemed to tired and a bit sick but kept playing and singing

Panicked when anyone would put him on the spot to say something

His solo was such a jam, he wrote a piano piece just for that moment.

Talked about how happy he was that we were there and apologized for not being able to speak English. Like baby boy don't worry, I'm not even fluent

Young k

My king

High notes for days

Bopping like a mad man

Smiley boy

Spoke English mostly unless he was talking to Wonpil

Called himself and Dowon Drum and Bass

Bass solo had me bopping. Being a bassist myself I was shook

His ending speech was entirely in English and he mostly talked about what he did here in SF.

He also made us promise to stay happy and healthy.

I was towards the back of the crowd but the genuine concern about everyone staying healthy was adorable.

Said we had the most beautiful city and the most beautiful sunsets.

Jae

Our MC for the night

When he wasn't going talking he was going hard

Like I thought he was gonna concuss himself

He confessed that they might make mistakes while playing but it was about the energy, not the words.

He told us we had to be the best because he had been hyping Cali to the boys for ages.

"I almost said the B word" (Brian)

The happiness in his eyes was fantastic.

Stopped mid sentence to say I love you back when a fan shouted it

Told everyone to ignore everything else happening in our lives and just enjoy tonight

Pretended like the concert was almost over when it wasnt

Got stuck on change when talking about how the setlist was changed.

Told everyone to go crazy and followed his own advise

Talked about how grateful he was and it was so genuine and soft

Ugh I love Jae a little too much

Over all things I loved

They added some throw backs like Congratulations and I wait two of my fav songs

The encore was Dance Dance

There were confetti canons

The crowd sang two songs while they played and IDK what the first one was but the second was Man In a Movie

The little skit they played towards the end.

Did I already mention Dowon singing?

The genuine happiness and thankfulness in their voices and in their eyes when they spoke, it was riveting

This was my first kpop concert. I was in the back of the crowd, but luckily the venue was kinda small, The Warfeild, so the energy was more contained. I had been to a concert there before but the vibe felt different this time, and mind you the other band I saw were some of my favs. I wasn't tired once, nor was I even a little upset, despite my necklace, that I have worn for almost 2 years, breaking.

Day6, I know you will never read this, but thank you so much. I have never felt so at home at a concert. And you once again reminded me how much I want to do what you do. Thank you for inspiring me both in my writing and in my goals. I hope to see you again personally one day.

So thank you for giving me the time of my life.

#day6 #day6 young k #day6 jae #day6 brian #day6 sungjin #day6 dowoon #day6 younghyun #day6 wonpil #time of our lives #book of us gravity #gravity world tour #day6 in san francisco #day6 in sf

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rulesofthebeneath · 5 years

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caught (ajay x f!mc)

<AN> Hey guys! Just your favorite trash writer out here with something that’s NOT an installment of that series I was talking about!! This is something that @euphonyinestetica and I had been talking about and I was just SO tempted to write it. A few notes about this: first of all, this starts off as told from Rory’s point of view, but just go with it. I promise it’ll make sense later. Also, in this fic I’m just headcanoning that neither Rory or Skye have a crush on MC at all but instead are just really good friends. I love both of them as LIs but I can’t do Jealousy and this fic is just about Ajay bc im TRASH FOR AJAY. So anyways. Here ya go, hope you enjoy!! </AN>

People have been acting weird, Rory thought to himself, and by people, I mean Ajay. He reviewed the junior’s behavior over the last week. He’d been gentler, more open, and just all-around a kinder person. He even cracked jokes once in a while. Rory didn’t mind- in fact, he welcomed a nicer Ajay with open arms- but he was still determined to get to the bottom of this new person that had stolen the body of his old director.

Maybe it was just the show? he thought. The show had a lot of us under stress… Then, something suddenly occurred to him. Oh my god, what if he’s… dating someone? He nearly dropped his lunch tray. That could be it! He must have a crush or… or something...

He shrugged it away. No way. Ajay couldn’t be romantic if he tried. He sighed. He’d confront Ajay about it whenever he got to the table- weird, he was usually there before Rory. Suspicious.

He was jolted out of his wonderings by Natalie and Clint running past him towards the lunch table, both screaming “LUNCH!!!” at the top of their lungs. He chuckled as they sat down with their trays, startling a very focused Skye who slammed a notebook shut and tucked it into her bag. Rory raised an eyebrow at her as he sat down, but didn’t say anything.

“You seen Grace?” Erin asked casually from the other end of the table.

“Yeah, she said she wouldn’t be at lunch because she had to talk to her math teacher? Something about extra credit,” he rolled his eyes. “I’m constantly surprised when I remember that she somehow actually likes math.”

“Yeah, what a nerd.” Erin joked. “Well, that makes us down two members of the group. Ajay told me he had to work on a group project in the library.”

Interesting, Rory thought. A group project. Hm, I wonder what he could be doing… does he have a master plan for my election? Is he planning for the spring play? Suspicious.

Skye snapped her fingers in front of Rory’s face, bringing him back to reality.

“Or, maybe he just actually has a project?” she shot him a bemused glance.

“Crap, did I say that out loud?”

“Uh, yeah.” Skye crossed her arms over her chest. “What are you doing?”

“Ajay’s being too happy. It’s freaking me out.”

“Ugh, you’re too extra. Just let him be happy, weirdo.”

Erin cut in. “No, Rory has a point. I knew that not working on the play would loosen him up a little, but…” she bit her lower lip in concentration. “I’ve never seen him this smiley before.”

Skye rolled her eyes and went back to her lunch. Erin leaned her elbows on the table and looked intensely at Rory.

“Do you think he’s dating someone?”

Rory shook his head. “Honestly? I don’t know if he’s capable. The thought went through my mind too, but I kind of dismissed it.”

Erin raised an eyebrow. “You know, he did date someone when he and I were freshmen? It wasn’t for long but… he certainly is capable. And I don’t know, but this erratic behavior is pretty much exactly like how he was back then.”

Rory waved his hand in the air. “Maybe, but… I just really don’t think so. It’s been a long time since you guys were freshmen, he’s almost certainly changed since then. And anyways, if he was dating someone, don’t you think he’d tell us?”

“Good point. I mean, Ajay’s never been the most open person, but I’d like to think he’d say something.”

“Exactly. So, it’s gotta be something else. I mean, maybe he’s happy because my campaign chances are looking so good?”

Erin snorted. “Please, James is gonna kick your ass.”

“Is that a threat?” Rory jokingly cracked his knuckles.

“Oh, no, honey. It’s a promise.” Erin smirked playfully. The two spent a few minutes trading trash talk, but then Rory raised his hands in surrender.

“Okay, I was thinking about looking around the abandoned building to get inspiration for what I’m gonna do about it.”

“Ooh, good idea. See you later then, Rory.”

“Yup, see you.” He bid everyone else goodbye with a wave, dumped the contents of his tray in the trash, and headed out into the bitter January cold.

It was about a five minute walk to the abandoned building, and Rory walked in some footprints that already led there so that he wouldn’t have to keep pulling his boots out of the snow. The snow wasn’t very deep, but it wasn’t quite packed either thanks to a new flurry they’d gotten that morning. He reached out a hand to push the door open, and could’ve sworn he heard someone talking- ah, no mind. It was probably just one of his competitors also scoping out the building before the debates. He walked in and looked up, prepared to level a few lighthearted threats at whoever it was, when he saw them.

Them, to be specific, meant Ajay and Grace, the latter pinned up against the wall by the former. They were glued together at the lips and Rory could see a few bruises starting to bloom on Grace’s neck. Her hand was buried in his hair, his hand at her waist and pulling her closer.

“Oh my god” Rory said before he could think better of it, and they jumped apart. Ajay’s eyes locked on his and Ajay whipped his glasses off, busying himself with wiping them on his shirt. For her part, Grace fought a massive blush and picked her scarf up from the ground, quickly wrapping it around her neck to hide the bruises.

“Rory!” she exclaimed, her voice a little hoarse. “What- what are you doing here?”

“I was just leaving,” Rory said, a little louder than was probably necessary, and then turned on a dime and darted out of the building, desperate to get away from the situation.

He made his way back to the cafeteria, where he robotically sat down at the table.

“That was fast,” Erin remarked. “Get any good ideas?”

Rory could only whimper against the chorus of what the hell what the hell what the hell coursing through his mind. Ajay and Grace? Were a thing? He couldn’t believe it, but he had definitely seen it. Jesus. He tried frantically to clear the image from his mind.

Erin elbowed him again. “Rory?”

He just… he couldn’t. He couldn’t talk about this, he was barely managing to work through his own shock. He shook his head and prayed for the bell signaling the end of lunch to ring, which it mercifully did only seconds later. Erin narrowed her eyes at him but didn’t have time for an inquisition; she had to run all the way to a class on the other side of the school. Rory mechanically made his way to class.

Back in the abandoned building, Grace was still rubbing at one of the the fresh marks on her neck. Ajay was leaning his head against the wall.

“Oh, my god, Grace that was so damn awkward,” he groaned.

“I know,” she replied, walking over to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “But it happened. I don’t know if he’ll tell anyone, but we should be ready to get interrogated about it.”

“It’s our own damn fault for trying to keep it from them. I know we were just planning on not saying anything until we were serious, but we’re definitely serious and I guess I just… keep forgetting.”

“This definitely isn’t the way I’d like to have them find out,” Grace remarked, letting go of him to make her way over to where his coat had been unceremoniously discarded. She picked it up and started dusting off the snow.

“Me neither.” Ajay finally left the wall and circled over to where Grace was. He pulled his gloves on and smiled gratefully at her. She helped him into his coat, and they left the building hand in hand.

“So we’re gonna tell them?” Grace asked hopefully, looking up at him with soft eyes.

“We should’ve told them weeks ago,” Ajay replied with a smile. “We’re a thing, and I think it’s been big enough for a while now that we shouldn’t be afraid to tell them.”

“They always say relationships within a friend group are hard,” Grace hedged.

Ajay stopped in his tracks, turning to cup Grace’s face in his gloved hands. “Hey, listen. You’re my princess. That’s not going to change, okay?”

She searched his eyes and found nothing but affection and sincerity. “Okay,” she said.

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, a sharp contrast to the heated kisses they’d shared not five minutes ago. Then he linked their fingers again and they continued a slow walk back to the school, starting to run when they heard the bell ring marking the end of lunch.

She stood on her tiptoes to give him one last breathless kiss before they went off their separate ways.

“Hey, and just so you know… feel free to do that anytime you’d like.” she said shyly, eyes sparkling.

“Do what?”

She rubbed at her neck, shooting him a meaningful glance.

“Oh. Of course.” he shot her a teasing grin and a wink before placing a kiss on the back of her hand and walking to his class.

***

Later in the day, Rory was managing to get over his shock for a bit. He was rummaging through his locker looking for his bag of ‘Rory for President’ pencils that he was saving to give out to his friends. After school they usually congregated around his locker. Erin was on her way over now, no doubt to ask him about what had happened earlier, and Skye slammed her locker shut and turned to walk over. Clint and Natalie, as usual, weren’t far behind. After a few minutes he found the pencils and closed his locker, handing them out to the congregated group.

“Hm, I wonder where Grace and Ajay are. They’re usually here by now.” Erin commented nonchalantly.

Probably making out in the abandoned building again Rory said to himself.

“...I’m sorry, what?” Erin asked. Shit, Rory thought, I did it again. He banged his head against his locker.

“I saw them MAKING OUT in the ABANDONED BUILDING when I went there during lunch,” he said to the locker door.

“What?” Erin asked, loudly enough that a few people nearby looked over briefly. The shock from the group was palpable in the air, and it only thickened when Grace and Ajay themselves arrived. Rory was the first to notice that Grace’s scarf had slipped to expose the marks on her neck, but he certainly wasn’t the last.

“Oh my god!” Erin exclaimed. An awkward silence fell over the entire group, until…

“Grace, oh my god, do I need to teach you how to cover up a hickey? This is bad.” Erin started laughing hysterically. Both Grace and Ajay turned red at this, but soon the whole group was laughing, even the shell-shocked Rory.

“Wait, guys, seriously though… how long has this been going on?” Rory asked, wheezing.

Ajay smiled down at Grace and laced their fingers together. “Well…”

“We’ve been a thing since the cast party,” Grace finished. “We only started officially dating two weeks ago, though.”

“The CAST PARTY?” Erin shouted, nearly doubling over in laughter. “Oh my GOD”

As everyone laughed, Ajay let go of Grace’s hand to wrap his arm around her shoulder and pull her close to him, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. She twisted to beam up at him, and his heart accelerated.

“I adore you,” he whispered to her, prompting her to turn into his arms to give him a chaste but sweet kiss on the lips as the rest of the group gagged.

“Shut up, we’re happy,” he said jokingly.

“Hey, if you’re happy, that’s all that matters. But don’t think I’m done getting all of the details out of you guys about this.” Erin remarked.

They all walked towards the parking lot, the whole group still teasing the couple, as the snow let up and the sun began to shine through the clouds.

#ajay #hss ajay #hssca ajay #hssca #hssca mc #choices hssca #ajay x mc #choices fanfic #hssca fanfic #long post #long fic #my fanfic #oneshots

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queerchoicesblog · 5 years

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If You Wait For Me (RoD, Ximena x MC)

This fic was inspired by RoD last chapter and the goodbye scenes with the LIs. I promised and I will write the Ximena prom fic since we were denied such option, I'm just stuck with it atm :/ Here Ellie (MC) has left LA for the Langston college when a song leads her thoughts back to Ximena.

This fic incorporates the lyrics of the beautiful The Promise by Tracy Chapman, which I recommend to play in the background while reading it:

youtube

Disclaimer: this fic contains references to a slightly AU finale I pictured (Toby being an undercover police agent and the gang starting a new life after the events of Book 1)

Word Count: 1301

Perma Tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @melodyofgraves @psychopathdreamer21 @bbaba-yagaa @abunchofbadchoices @silverhawkenzie @bhavf @begging-for-kamilah @kennaxval @strangerofbraidwood @crazypeanat

Ximena tag: @boneandfur @bobasheebaby

_________________________

If you wait for me Then I'll come for you Although I've traveled far I always hold a place for you in my heart

Ellie had listened to that song a hundred times since she left for Langston. It was Ximena's gift: when she came to say goodbye and tell her to go write her own story without regrets, she gave her her old MP3 player. "If you ever miss me, just press play and I'll be there with you" she said. "But don't look back too much, Ellie. We will always be a part of each other’s just...don't do that to yourself". X. tried to keep her reassuring smile on the whole time she talked but her voice told a different story and when she pulled in for a tight hug Ellie could swear a tear rolled down her face and fell on her shoulder. Everything was different there at Langston, she thought as a gust of chilly wind played with her curls. It wasn't that cold in California, not even during the winter holidays. It's East Coast, baby, what did you expect?, her now roommate Ingrid teased her once. Yeah, she was right. It was East Coast: no sunny beaches, no palms at the side of the street, no light clothing on for most of the year. No friendly faces around. Except for Ingrid, obviously. And Skype chats with Dad, who was trying hard to make things work between them again. Ellie sighed deeply, her eyes lazily wandering over the campus park.

She did her best to follow that piece of advice but her mind kept traveling back to the sweet Amazon girl. Especially during pretty lonely Sundays, when there were no classes to keep her busy or distracted. Wriggling in her coat, she pressed rewind. If you think of me If you miss me once in a while Then I'll return to you I'll return and fill that space in your heart Does Ximena think of me? Does she miss me once in a while? Questions like these echoed in her mind. They hadn't talked in months and Ellie definitely missed her. The sound of her voice, her contagious laughter. How could she forget such a girl? Remembering Your touch Your kiss Your warm embrace I'll find my way back to you If you'll be waiting She closed her eyes and a wave of memories washed over her. The warmth of Ximena's strong arms around her as she wrapped her in one of her famous hugs, the soft touch of her fingertips on her cheek as she tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, the silly faces she made to make her laugh when she was all tensed up in the garage. The reassuring squeeze she would give to her hand whenever Ellie started second-guessing herself or getting cold feet. But also the breathtaking view of Ximena surprising her in a beautiful man suit at her prom night, the two of them swaying together in the night, Ximena's soft lips meeting hers in a long-awaited tender yet hungry kiss under the moonlight. Like in a romantic movie, their own romantic movie. The urge to capture those lips again and again, wishing that moment last forever. Does she remember this too? Oh, I've longed for you And I have desired To see your face, your smile To be with you wherever you are Ellie had contacted Toby, alias undercover agent Trevor Foster, a couple of times and he had kept her somehow updated with what was going on in LA. The gang was sticking together, surprisingly, even if they took different ways. Colt was the most vanishing one, but apparently, he started over with his business studies at college. Later, Toby’d sent her a selfie of himself sitting next to Logan huffing over what looked like a math assignment and Ellie had been happy to hear that he decided to go back to school as he worked as a bartender. He had also told her that they all regularly went to visit Mona in jail: the driver girl was quite shocked at first when they materialized on the threshold of the visiting room but they explained to her that for once no one had to be left behind. Mona considered their words, most likely pondering whether to trust them: it took her a while to let herself go but he could tell she grew rather fond of those 'family meetings' as Logan started naming them.

One day Toby sent her another picture: Ximena beaming in front of a tattoo parlour. The caption said 'First day for the tattoo pro' followed by a smiley emoji. A bright smile appeared on Ellie's face when she read it in class. Sadly, It was soon followed by a pang of sadness as the realization of being so distant now sank in. She would have loved to be there that day: she would have hugged and planted a good luck kiss on Ximena's smiling lips. But she was a thousand miles away and the most beautiful tattoo-artist asked her to look ahead not behind her. She grimaced, stroking the quill on her collarbone. A classmate waved at her passing by, stopping her train of thoughts. Moving forward can be so hard when your heart keeps going back to someone special. She tried to convince herself that Ximena was just her high-school crush, her teenage dream who would soon fade away. But deep inside she knew the truth.

She grabbed her phone as those lines played in her headphones: Together again It would feel so good to be In your arms Where all my journeys end If you can make a promise If it's one that you can keep I vow to come for you If you wait for me After a quick search through her contacts, she pressed the call button. Ellie tapped nervously her leg as she waited. However, it didn't take long before a familiar voice spoke on the other side. "Hey, Uptown Girl!" Another gust of wind harshly stroke Ellie's face, but she barely noticed as a warm happiness spread inside her. "Hey, X." Please say you'll be waiting...

#choices rod #ximena rod #ximena x mc #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices fanfic

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ask-svt-hearteu · 7 years

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soulmate! Seokmin

a/n: showing some love for our underappreciated seokshine

Summary: in which you can feel your soulmate’s emotions, ex. happiness, sadness, anger

your heart kinda hurts for your soulmate

yes, you know it’s not possible to be happy 24/7

but the normal emotions you feel from your soulmate are generally in the categories of happy or stressed

both which are completely normal and it makes you happy to know your soulmate has been happy the majority of their life

never have you felt this much sadness from him or her, but i mean your pretty sure your attracted to guys so

specially this past month,

and now you feel even worse because as you’re feeling worried, he’ll be able to tell and maybe get even more sad

this cruel world is breaking both of your hearts

so you tried your very best to be as happy as possible

positivity is key

and there’s lots of positive energy around you so hopefully you can project this to your soulmate

your job as a PD-nim at MBC is really fun

part of it is just talking to a bunch of people your age so you’re on a first name bases with lots of celebrities

it’s funny how they’re like “you’re a PD-nim? you’re so young”

it’s so weird to hear honorifics from many of the idols your age so you insist they treat you like a friend

you like filming the waiting rooms before stages the best

something about the nervous but vibrant energy,

people doing what they love to do, making others happy, being with people that made them happy

you wanted to soak it all up and hope your soulmate would feel happier too

“y/n the next group is in the waiting room.” your boss tells you, shaking you from your thoughts

“okay we’re filming for our special right?“

“Yep, doing ‘what’s in my bag’ for show champ"

"okay fighting!"

"fighting."

you drag your camera over your shoulder and bring a few other staff with you

reading the sign on the door, "세븐틴”, you push open the door

“hey guys!“

"y/n!!!"

the thirteen boys scattered about the crowded room turn to say their greetings to you and the staff

"SAY THE NAME SEVENTEEN ANNYEONGHASAEYO SEVENTEEN IMNIDA”

you bow in greeting also

“I’ll just quickly check everyone’s stuff before filming just to make sure no one has anything that’s too personal,” you tell the other staff

“noona you got prettier,” seungkwan says to you

“ah thanks seungkwan, are you trying to butter me up?” you laugh

he denies it with the other members teasing him

looking at the group, you notice someone’s missing

“where’s DK, he usually jumping around being wild,” you ask

"hyung isn’t feeling well today he’s over in the corner getting his hair styled.”

if you had to choose one member in seventeen as a bias, it would be DK

because somehow, you had a crush on the guy

"I know I’m crazy right?” you think

it didn’t seem to make sense with your soulmate being out there and the both of you sharing emotions

but that had been part of the reason you liked Seokmin

without fail, he always managed to bring a smile to everyone’s faces and yours too

if you were to imagine everything you’d want in a soulmate it’d be him

and that made you feel extremely guilty to your own soulmate

“hiiii DK, can you gather with the other members?”

he smiles at you, though not as brightly, “yes of course”

now with the whole group, you ask them to show their bags before filming and to pick an MC

going along the line you look into each of their personal bags

as you pass each member of Svt, a pattern starts appearing as you ask each of them questions

“Seungcheol, you carry around a marker?” “Yea, just in case (his soulmate’s name) needs me."

"Wait so you found your soulmate? Does the company know? Are you telling fans yet?"

"You’ll see a lot of us have, but the company doesn’t want us talking about it to fans yet."

and as you walk down the line you realize that almost everyone had found the one for them

"Joshua how’d you get a scratch on your arm are you ok?” “Oh this is new. That’s weird it wasn’t here five minutes ago. I’m not sure, (his soulmate’s name) must have scratched herself somehow. Excuse me I’m going to call her and check to make sure she’s ok."

"Soonyoung, hey what’s up! What’s that?” you ask a smiley Soonyoung

“Oh it’s my lucky ear piece. (His soulmate’s name) bought it for me to bring good luck since she hears all the music I do too and she’s my luck."

this was how you found out that every member had found their soulmate

they all would tell you a cute little story or show you some cute little keepsake before you moved on to check the next person’s bag

"I still haven’t returned (Jun’s soulmate’s name)’s umbrella back to her. It’s sitting in the dorm and reminds me how amazing she is every time I see it."

Jun giggles while telling you about that rainy night and by the time you reached Seokmin

"I don’t suppose you have a cute story to tell me about your soulmate?” you say giggling and poking through his items in his personal bag

“Dokyeom?” you look up and your heart begins aching

DK is staring down at his feet, eyes wide as if trying not to blink

“No, actually, I’m the only one who hasn’t found their soulmate yet in Seventeen."

it was bad timing

you felt your positive front you had tried maintaining go down for a bit as you sympathized with Seokmin

and whoever your soulmate was, you could feel that they were even sadder now,

and maybe it was because you felt sorry for Seokmin that he tried smiling at you

"it’s ok though I’ll find them. I will find them."

those words made you feel hopeful and you could feel some hope in your soulmate too in fact, they seemed to cheer up a little after your talk with Seokmin

the conversation and timing replays into your head

no way….?

you decide to attribute the moment of hope as simply your soulmate drawing strength from your emotions

"Lee Seokmin, I believe in you, our sunshine and happy virus.” you say, giving him a smile as you pat his arm

you’re surprised when Seokmin gives you a hug, your heart racing as an effect

“Thank you, y/n for making me feel better."

"No problem” you say, barely breathing, your heart racing

and you think you’ve finally gone insane because you feel some other emotion from your soulmate that you hadn’t felt before

a kind of happiness and a feeling of lightness, a floaty feeling it’s kind of the feeling you’re getting now after hugging Seokmin

you shake your head and give Dokyeom one last smile which he returns before you turn back to face the others

after they were finished, they were surprisingly talking quietly among themselves

which was a bit suspicious for multiple reasons

wait…

you felt something in the pit of your stomach and realized

where your soulmate had felt sadness, there was nervous anticipation

a mix of being worried but also curious

not thinking much of it, you collect all the filming materials

suddenly, you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn around

your eyes meet the members who have pushed Seungkwan to the front with DK standng a little behind

"hmm?” you say

Seungkwan turns around really nervously too look at the others and you hear a voice say in the back

“yah Seungkwan pali, she tolerates you the most”

‘what the heck???’ you think

you watch as Seungkwan takes a deep breath and

“YAH!! I WAS LYING EARLIER BECAUSE YOU LOOK EXTRA UGLY TODAY!!!”

immediately, Seungkwans knees sink to the ground while he bows furiously in apology

“the heck. did you go crazy??” you say half angry half confused

suddenly you feel an emotion that’s not yours

happiness? it’s the kind of happiness that warms your heart and makes it seem as if the world could just explode from all of the happiness

it’s how your soulmate is feeling

and you look behind Seungkwan to see the most dazzling smile gracing Seokmin’s face

“hyung I think it’s her! the timing is exactly the same!”

“what??” you say shocked

is he serious

suddenly there’s screams everywhere and you somehow figure out a bit of what was going on

not the first priority but the most obvious, Seungkwan who’s still hugging your legs

pulling him up you shake your head and laugh, “you were the sacrificial lamb huh?”

“noona jinja mianhae, you really are pretty”

he engulfs you in a apology hug, surprising you

“YAH! What are you doing Seungkwannie!!!” Dokyeom says pulling him off of you

Seventeen backs away pulling Seungkwan with them,

and somehow, because of the staff and members, the two of you end up in a board room

together, alone, yup

you rock back and forth on your feet while he scratches his head, the both of you laughing nervously

as your nervous self, you blurt out, “you shouldn’t scratch, it’ll mess up your hair”

P R I O R I T I E S

you scream at yourself

“so i’m pretty sure we’re soulmates right?” he says chuckling

giggling you say, “yep, when you think about it, it makes sense”

“you’ve always felt a connection too right?!” he says excitedly

“of course!” you agree with a grin

and you think back to the almost perfect timing of your emotions earlier when talking

and then the hug

and how Seokmin always managed to make you feel happier

now you knew it was quite literally done too

handing each other your phones, you exchange numbers quickly

“I know you have a really busy schedule but let’s meet again soon”

“it’s a promise!” he agrees

the atmosphere gets weird for a moment, the both of you not knowing what to do next

as you feel each other’s emotions, you know exactly what to do

so you guys meet in the middle for a hug

he rests his head on yours

you can feel his chest vibrating from his chuckle

“I’m glad it’s you”

“me too”

as he’s walking out, you remember something and grab his arm

“hold on please!” you tell him and start digging through your purse

as you search messily, he stands there with anticipation

“ah!” you say and pull the item out

as you hand him a keychain, you can clearly feel his happy emotions

shyly explaining you say, “you don’t have anything of mine like the others so, here”

without warning, he pulls you back into a tight hug and then smiles at you like the sunshine you know

“I’ll take good care of it”

you nod

“it’s not that official, so when we meet next, let’s get something matching okay?” you smile, your eyes changing into crescents

“ah! a moon and sun keychain”

“why?”

“because your eyes are like the moon”

immediately you both giggle at his cheesy words

nodding you agree,

“and you’re just like the sun, bright and warm”

The Seventeen Soulmate AU series:

|| Seungcheol / Pt. 2 || Jeonghan / Pt. 2 || Joshua / Pt.2 || Jun / Pt.2 || Hoshi / Pt.2 || Wonwoo || Woozi / Pt.2 || Seokmin / Pt.2 || Mingyu / Pt.2 || Minghao || Seungkwan || Vernon / Pt.2 || Dino ||

MASTERLIST

~ admin jess & seri

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disinvited-guest · 7 years

Text

6/2/17 Recap

Ok, here it is, finally. I’ve only have here what I have written about TMBG’s performance, so to put things in context, I am waiting at the rail that separates the crowd from the stage, I have been there for several hours to hold my spot, and am watching Rodriguez perform the end of his set.

Note: I’m not positive about when in the set a few things took place, so I put a question mark at the beginning of those paragraphs.

At some point during the set, Dan Miller came out and stood to the side of the stage, watching the set, I noticed him walk on, but thought it would be weird to stare, so instead I ended up looking at him awkwardly from the corner of my eye for the next 10 minutes until he left.

Then, his set was over, he left stage, and set up began for They Might Be Giants. I was so excited waiting that I started to have trouble breathing, and was glad I brought my inhaler, although I didn’t end up using it. I saw Marty briefly, as he gave instructions on where he wanted the drum riser. And then Flans and Danny over to the side.

As the crew, dozens of people, both with the festival and the band, set things up, I saw a few really exciting things. Flans was using the guitar he used last tour, but he also had a red one with a checkered strap onstage as a backup. Danny was using an awesome blue bass that I had never seen before, and looked fantastic. Also, a red Gatorade was placed behind the drums for Marty, which a very confused looking festival volunteer brought out. Dan Miller had put on a bit of weight, and Flans had lost some.

The MC stepped up to introduce the band at 9:27, three minutes before things were supposed to start, and promised us the band would be onstage “in just a few minutes.” That few minutes turned out to be twelve, as the band took the stage at 9:39 to screams and cheers. They started into Damn Good Times right away and it was a very high energy performance. Instead of singing “she can’t remember the show she saw” Flans sang “he can’t remember the show he saw,” but he kept she/her pronouns at other points in the song. I wonder why.

They moved straight in to Birdhouse in Your Soul, which the whole crowd was super into and were jumping around like crazy for. After the song was over they said goodnight, and that they had enjoyed performing for us, acting as if they were preparing to leave the stage, and then Flans said something about giving us “The full New York treatment” which I didn’t quite catch.

? Linnell commented that it had been a long time since he had been able to see the moon when he was performing, but that now it was right up there and “I can just look up at it and daydream….”

Flans then talked about his internet habits, claiming to be on social media “23, 24, 25 hours a day” and that when he feels bad about the state of the world, he thinks “how can I feel worse” and goes on twitter. “We’ve been hearing a lot about how unreliable the sun is as a source of energy, which is…. We’d like to dedicate this next song to the sun ladies and gentlemen”

This led, of course, into Why Does the Sun Shine. The heat and light of the sun were caused by the nuclear reaction between several Ohio cities, and also some Ohio city names mashed together (like Dakron and Colombuland) when Linnell decided not to give the people shouting out Cleveland what they wanted.

As soon as the song was over, Linnell commented about the unusual insects crawling around on his keyboard, claiming that he had never seen some of them before. By this point, there were literally hundreds of bugs visible on stage, flying and crawling everywhere. Flans was less happy about the variety of insects Ohio provided “You don’t understand ladies and gentlemen, every minute that we are up here singing, we are living in constant terror of swallowing a bug.”

Linnell introduced the next song while giving us some important taxonomy information “This next song… is not about an insect, because it has eight legs.” This, of course, led into Spider, which was a bit of an unusual choice for a festival crowd, but had the man next to me in stitches. Without pause, they went into Everything Right Is Wrong Again, which I had never heard performed lived before and was amazing, even though I got hit in the head with a glowstick during it.

? After the song ended, Linnell announced that he had squashed a bug on his keyboard. He was genuinely concerned about it, and maybe even a little upset “I didn’t mean to, it happened while I was playing”

?Flans then came up to the mic to give a reminder “to always throw your glowsticks away from the stage” although, the only one that got anywhere close that I could see was the one that bounced off of my head and into the photographers aisle. That being said, the crowd seemed to listen and no more glowsticks came up front.

Flans then talked about the girl who had come up to him before the show and said that they were her first tape, which he was obviously touched by. “So here is a song that might have been on her first tape. [a beat] it’s only one and a half minutes long, so I have to stretch out the intro.” This led into Letterbox, which is always truly impressive in terms of sheer number of words per second.

? Afterwards, Flans thanked the festival for putting this together, but joked that the backdrop, which had a large N M F, wasn’t as they had specified. “N-M-F, it was supposed to be a T, and the M is ok, but then a B-G, this is Not…Might….ugh”

Linnell knew though “It stands for Not My Flansy”

“That’s right; it’s my new solo project ladies and gentlemen”

“No, isn’t that those protest signs?”

“Yeah, ‘what happened to that guy? We want the old Flansburgh back’”

They then went into a run of songs, starting with Science is Real, which I have a feeling they will be playing a lot in the next few years, and going into When Will You Die and then Music Jail (Quick side note: I’ve been trying to stay objective, but you guys, Danny was just so goddamn adorable and smiley, especially from this run on and ahhh).

Flans then moved to the back and started pushing different sound effect buttons, leaving Linnell to do the talking “Music Jail everyone [a few bizarre sounds from Flans] I feel like I’m there right now.”

Flans then moved to the front, and said something to Linnell off-mic. Whatever he said, Linnell moved to where Flans had been with the sound effects, and Flans stood at Linnell’s keyboard, saying “I’ve been working on this thing ladies and gentlemen,” which tricked me for a moment into thinking he was gonna play keys (I freaked out more than a little) but instead he introduced the band, including Linnell as he walked back up to the keys, although not as John Linnell, instead saying “returning from the back of the stage to the keyboards Danny Miller”

Linnell gave Flans a quick shake of his head as he got to his keyboard, which I now realize was letting him know that he couldn’t get the sound effect they wanted either, because when Flans returned to the back, he began saying “ring ring” into the mic back there, leading into Mama TMBG, which now apparently has a live outside of older. I don’t remember all of it, but here are some of my favorite parts.

Flans: ring ring

Linnell: we are receiving actual phone call

Flans: ring ring

Linnell: that is the sound of a real phone ringing

Flans: ring ring

Linnell: how embarrassing

Mama: I received a text from a Nelsonville Music Fest guy, he says there is no curfew but to cut down on patter. What does patter mean? Linnell: I think that’s fake Mama: Is it a troll? Is it a troll phishing? Linnell: I think it’s a robot Mama: Is it a troll? Linnell: It was a robot troll phishing Mama: Have I been pwned? Linnell: You’ve been pwned, you’ve been pwned by a robot troll

Mama: I’ve been thinking a lot about when you were born, when all 5 of you sprung from my loins Linnell: Can you be more graphic? Mama: The afterbirth was enormous Linnell: More graphic! Mama: And the mucus plug, it was the size of your father Linnell: There were 5 of us Mama: And my two jewels, Dan and Danny Linnell: Your perfect twins is what you used to call them Mama: I get emotional just thinking about it Linnell, to the audience: this is some people’s favorite part of the show

*audience cheers* Mama: I got another text from that Nelsonville guy Linnell: I think that’s the robot Mama: He says to stop this part of the show *audience boos* Mama: Now it’s just emoticons Linnell: It’s a robot troll! Mama: Hey John? Before I go, what’s the Wi-Fi password for this place? Linnell: It is actually emoticons, it’s that finger across throat, this kinda gesture (demonstrates repeatedly), I don’t know what it means, but it looks like this Mama: Ok

*dial-tone*

Linnell wrapped up the bit, and introduced: “This is a song about the 11th president of the United States,” which led, of course, into James K. Polk. During this song Dan stood behind Marty on the drum riser to play. The song started out with just Linnell, real quietly at the beginning, and then built up into full rock volume.

Flans went offstage to deal with some guitar troubles at the end of the song, and they went straight into Bills, Bills, Bills. He had to rush onstage to get to the mic to come in at the right time, but once he was there, he was super enthusiastic, going out on top of the amps once on each side of the stage to sing directly to different guys in the crowd.

? After the song finished, Linnell told Flans he would never guess “who I talked to earlier while you were offstage.” When Flans guessed Mama TMBG, he was given a curt “No.” and then they started into Older.

I had thought that Mama tmbg showing up earlier in the show had meant they were skipping this song, so I was interested to see what would take her place during the longer pause. Nothing new there, but Linnell did an amusing bit where he turned in slow motion to look at the band, and then back to the audience with a shocked expression before starting the song up again. After Older, they went straight into an especially high-energy Don’t Let’s Start.

Flans then reintroduced Dan, and told us that at the end of the next song he had a really great guitar solo “so watch out for that.” This led in to Fingertips, which was fantastic as always, but a very different experience when most of the crowd doesn’t know it by heart. During the start of Mysterious whisper for example, I put my hands up and started swaying from side to side, which is standard, but got awkward fast, since most people didn’t catch on until Flans had demonstrated for a few seconds.

Dan’s guitar solo was, indeed, magnificent, and after it was over, Flans stepped back to the mic to say that he didn’t know about us, but “I wish that part of the show were four times longer. As he said this, the robot effect was turned on, and he enjoyed this by repeating the phrase “jam band” a few times. Linnell then greeted “Robot Flansburgh” and Flans asked him for the not he had to sing, explaining to the crowd that he only sang one note in the next song. I had been expecting Robot Parade, so when this tipped me off that they were doing Nanobots I freaked out more than a little (may or may not have screamed).

He tested singing his note, and made the crowd sing it with him, shouting “It’s only one note people!“ That may have been the case, but Flans struggled with it a bit during the actual song, and only did backing vocals at the beginning and the very end. Regardless of that, it sounded fantastic and I loved hearing it live!

After the song, Flans brought up the new album, “We are currently working on our 20th album ladies and gentlemen, which is exactly like it sounds, both strangely familiar and yet impossibly difficult.” He then transitioned into talking about the start of the band, and how, just 3 years before, he was attending college in Yellow Springs “Enjoying the raw milk.” “Good times were had by some, I was one of them.” At this point I genuinely thought I was about to hear Out of Jail, but Flans went on to introduce the song as from the first album (I was only a little disappointed), and they started into Number Three, which was great as always, and the line “talking like he was on tv” has a very different meaning with the current President.

After the song was over, Flans introduced Marty to the crowd again, and had him play the beat for the song. He told us that "this is all he plays on that song” and made us clap along for a few seconds, telling us that “we are the only Alabama cover band that matters.” After all of that excitement, Flans apparently forgot with song was next on the setlist.

Flans, to Linnell: What song do we play next? Linnell: This is a new-ish song, off of our 19th album. Flans: Oh, I like this one!

Flans: (off mic) which song is it? L This song has a very long title and that title is I Love You for Psychological Reasons

This song is always fantastic live, and this was no exception, with a very smiley Linnell giving it an

extra edge.

As soon as the song ended, Marty started up the intro to Particle Man, with Flans telling us to “put your hands together on the backbeat,” while Linnell got his accordion. The requested seemed to be too much for the crowd, and Linnell said mockingly “What is a backbeat? It’s so hard!” before he began the song. Once again, the bridge included a Swing from the Chandelier interlude, which was so powerful that I too was ready to lie like Triangle Man doesn’t exist.

Linnell went straight back to put down his accordion after the song (Only one on the accordion? Really?) and returned to his place at the keyboard.

There was a slight, awkward pause, before Flans stepped up to the microphone “Thanks everybody! We can’t start this next song until the lights come up, because I need to see my hands!” This got a laugh and a cheer when the lights guy obliged, and the band started in on; Let Me Tell You About My Operation. It was good, but Flans was less energetic than he sometimes is during the song (because he had to look at his hands, obviously, but still). The final song was the Mesopotamians, which was super high energy, and the guy next to me, who was a teacher, leaned over and said ‘this is what I teach. When it was over, the guys all left the stage and the crowd began whistling and cheering for an encore. I wasn’t sure we were going to get one, but screamed and cheered with the rest, and pretty soon, they all returned to the stage.

Linnell moved to he back to collect his accordion, while Flans stepped up to the mic. He thanked the festival, calling their regular experience a “tunnel of torment” and said that the organization was a nice change. While he was speaking, a guy went around gathering up some of the setlists, and replacing them with other sheets of paper, which I assume listed the songs for the encore. As Flans left the mic, he picked up one of these sheets, glanced at it, and then crumpled it up and put it in his pocket. Linnell moved downstage, now with his accordion, and they started into Doctor Worm.

Since Linnell had his accordion, Dan played keyboard, and the whole thing sounded great. There was no jump off the drum riser from Danny, probably because the riser was on wheels, and Linnell had Rabbi Vole playing the solo.

Dan moved over to his guitars after the song was over, and Linnell put away his accordion. Flans introduced Dan again, and promised us this next song had “an awesome intro.” He then went offstage and put on a jacket (it had gotten a bit chilly), while Dan started into Millerstanbul. As Flans came back onstage, the guitar intro now fully in swing, he made the tiniest little “ohhh” into the back mic. It was random and hilarious, and it made Dan laugh a bit, so that he had to pause before continuing. As always, Dan’s skills were unbelievable, and the song itself was high energy, involved Flans removing his guitar strings, and had two fake endings.

As the song wound down, Flans said “Thank you guys, you’ve been a great audience, goodnight!” and they all left the stage. The majority of the crowd took this as the end of the show altogether, and the lighting guy had to put on a pretty significant lightshow to get the crowd cheering again.

Finally, Flans, Linnell, and Marty came back up to the stage, and Flans said to us all “I’ve learned a lesson in show business today, and that is: Never Say Goodnight,” he went on to introduce the final song of the night, Dead. As he did Danny came onstage, zipping up an adorable coat.

Then they started the song. This was one of the last songs they played in Philly, and it was the song where Linnell teared up, so it was incredibly rewarding for me to see him so incredibly smiley during this performance. They finished the song, and Linnell said “Thank you, goodnight” with a teasing look at Flans, before they all left the stage, ending the show.

Marty ran out very quickly afterwards, with a clear destination, handing over his drumsticks and disappearing again in a matter of seconds.

Soon after, I was surprised to see Flans back out on the stage, and as he approached the front of the stage, I assumed he had stickers or something to hand out. Instead, he bent down to say something to a security guard, who then helped him to step down of the amp, and onto a step above the rail separating the crowd from the stage. He then began signing things, and taking pictures, and chatting with the crowd! I was in shock, but that didn’t stop me from crowding towards where he was.

While I was waiting my turn, I watched Danny’s attempts to get his thigs packed up, while also directing the festival crew on how other things needed to be packed. I guess that he didn’t trust the festival guys. Some people shouted at him for setlists (which if they had been paying attention, they would’ve known had been taken offstage) he ignored them, although eventually one festival crew guy handed out the one off of the keyboards.

Then, I was close enough to hear Flans conversation with the fans. When one of them said something about Linnell, he got really excited and started off on a tangent: about the painter John Linnell. He asked if they had heard of the painter, talked some about his landscapes, and said that he had been friends with a really famous Romantic artist, but he couldn’t remember who (I looked it up later, I think he was thinking of William Blake). The whole time, he was just so Excited and it was adorable. As he wrapped up his Art History lecture, Flans told us as a group that we needed to hurry, because he was needed backstage. We stepped up the pace accordingly.

As he signed, a woman next to me asked him if she brought their old glockenspiel to a show, if they would play Shoehorn With Teeth. He told her they probably would, and asked which glockenspiel it was “We’ve given away a few over the years.” When he found out it was from the show in Columbus with the power outage, he talked about that for a bit “the power grid to the whole city went out. Not many people realize this, but when the power goes out and you’re in a room full of people who don’t feel like they’ve gotten their evening’s worth of entertainment…”

When it was my turn, I got a handshake and a picture (which didn’t turn out, oh well) and walked away, to catch my breath and find my car, already eager for the next show, whenever it will be.

I missed a few things in my notes that I recalled later, I have no idea when in the show they were, but here they are, sans context

At one point, Flans said that the crowd had “The perfect blend of glasses and beards” and then added “that’s just the ladies.”

The person in the Queen Bee costume, who had been walking around the festival all day walked through the crowd towards the end of the set. The band was very surprised and impressed. Danny took a picture, which I’m sure you’ve all seen, and Flans said that the bee was their old manager, and that if you wanted to promote your band, he was the guy. Later, the Bee had Flans sign their costume.

#tmbg #recap

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pearlcrysta · 7 years

Text

Venting Sobfest. Moving on. Fanfics are hard to write like this. Cause they end up with me being a sadist on the chars. Readers want fluff too.

Writing on phone.

Or, how u can use all ur. built up emotions and feelings to write sobfest for readers.

I am a pretty selfish being when it comes to friendships - online too. I feel constantly lonely in real life and can t help wonder what is wrong with me to appall certain people whom I had never encountered troubles with.

At University – there was a group of acquaintances - they were very much friends with each other. While I was just there.

Never included in their out-of-college experiences.

I also am not a human who is a pushover, like purposely want to self-invite to things just to be forcefully included. I can also semi-sense when people ask you out of politeness to go somewhere, but the answer they wanna hear is ‘no’.

Or, when I ran late to class, no one bothered saving a seat for me. Some rarely did out of courtesy, only when i messaged them. While for their 'friends’, they d do it on instinct even if they end up skipping class.

I was always at the bottom choice when group projects were made. Even though i generally aim to be serious on such projects since grade doesn t reflect just my own performance.

The other has to have a good mark too. Still… always picked last.

It’s little things like this that upset me socially throughout college, hurting me even a year gafterwards since contact with anyone from there is rare… And at the same time I realize - i can t force someone to be my friend.

Or to like me.

These people mostly lived together in dorms. I lived at home cause college is 40 mins from home —- easy-peasy to have gotten there.

They interacted offline a lot. I do online more with them.and by more - school work more while they managed to naturally drift for topics.

I could have put more effort. I know I could but I am socially awkward as f,feeling most comfy online where friendships seem so much easier to make.

…

And cause it s so easier to me online, when i find an emotional support, i tend to cling on it. xD irritatingly. even if i like a person or have a crush on them online, in the end, any romance will be dead, slaughtered by things like distance (different countries, livelihoods, dreams).

Not every crush should be followed through.

Even if we could write for hours, long term thing other than friendship would have been an emotional hassle. A pain that I don t want anymore. And despite liking him, I know a futureless ship when i see it so my heart gets over it - or pretends to. Honestly, I liked him because he paid attention to me, helped me a lot in games and was there to greet me so eagerly every single day for months.

Months in a row.

Showering love of all sort.

And I tried my best to help him back.

But i also got tired of listening to broken record problems. I m human too. xD i can t always find supportive words. Not when i am told that he would move to my country just to stay with me.

As a friend too.

I managed to convince him eventually how bad an idea it was to do so - for a girl online. Friendzoned hard as f — that s how i heartlessly did it.

He said he was ok with it as long as he could be around me.

It was nearly a year of amazing friendship when it all soured since March.

April maybe.

When he found a replacement for everything he once sought in me. He got over me - friendship wise too. I am no longer relevant to his daily life.

No longer important enough to greet.

No longer important to care for.

No longer an excited 'hea’ 'heya’ 'smiley face’.

No longer interested in my day.

No longer caring if i am sad. Even when i specify i am sad because of him and him ignoring me, saying how rekt I was for him replacing me — he says that when he was sad that i shrugged it away or said for him to be quiet. I didn.t want to listen to his problems anymore.

… What… the… fuck????!!!!

Sorry for not having patience 24/7 like ur new twin does. He s also not sorry for moving on from talking to someone who made him feel bad, to someone who supports him 100%.

…. Hah…

That was heartbreaking to hear cause I never thought I wronged him to this extent. Why the f did he bottle so much and then come with the crap that 'i tried to tell you, you wouldn t listen’????????????

There s a difference between “trying” and “fucking telling”!!!!!

Even though he promised he would always be there for me - as a friend. He broke this promise.

Like he broke many other promises.

Little things added together.

Drifting away so much it hurts.

I fck up too at things - i was no innocent victim and had selfish moments. I admit, I fucking liked to have someone give a damn that i was worth a small greeting every single day.

I felt less lonely.

Loved.

But he was clingy too. So clingy at first, dear god. Super clingy - Yoosung style almost - and i would point out that i d need some space. never meant an entire black hole type of space. It s tiresome to talk for hours, months on end with a human. even one u like their company of.

I can t do it well.

I m tired… … … I m depressed.

How easy people use me. Just to throw me away when they find better. Or no longer need me for their issues. Cause they have BETTER. …. Forcing out topics for the sake of it made me feel drained to keep up… i needed some breathing space. So, It s back to suffocating loneliness space now, i got my fucking wish apparently.

Because he found his emotional twin whom he connects perfectly with.

While I ve become disposable trash.

He didn t say this - I assume I am trash to him for how he reacts around me. Confronting him did no good ((ultimately, it s my fault i couldn t help him anymore and he did what i wanted. Only problem is, he did too well)).

I stay invisible for days — no signs of concern from his part.

I come online and chat on public channels — barely acknowledged. I start a lot of conversations now whereas before he jumped on my chat every single day. If I don t write first, we are silent for days. And when I do write, it s mostly me begging for game things now. cause i m insensitive like that. And dunno how to talk to him naturally anymore. I pretend to be ok. And happy for the situation. when all i want is things to return to how it was before the fallout…

…

Tonight i flipped off.

I had it.

He shows love, friendship and has secrets with his twin — remember when u said u d never keep secrets from me? Yeah? I know u forgot.

Like you forgot about me.

Cause i am a fucking replaceable human. XD which u make it clear every single day by how much love u pour to ur twin. While I get is yelling, cold shoulder or not even a glancing thought anymore in ur day.

How am I doing?

U don t care that I have cried before, why would u now?

All i m ever left with are promises that end up half assed and empty. friendship that makes me cry more than an online relationship ever fucking did — I even left the common discord group we shared and he gave zero fucks.

… …

You don t even notice me gone…

XD … …

Seeing u happy while I am so torn. When u were emotionally bad, I helped u. Spent hours and hours to cheer u up and I can t even fucking convince u to do the same for me anymore.

If ur twin asks u for stuff or needs anything, u run at her like a dog. When I do, u act like it s the hardest thing ever to do in life. … … … … The only good part is out of all this is that it s giving me material for my MysMe fanfiction. I m using the story to vent and crap on MC s emotions. Using Magic Zen power to heal. Story probably going to shit anyway xD you reading my story was a nice feeling. But u stopped. If ur twin would write one, u d gobble it up like candy.

…

I m a sour person XD

maybe that s why people find it easy to treat me like this.

Intentionally or not, I can t handle my emotions anymore… so i follow my advice and quit on those that cause me pain. At least until i can be mature enough to handle the switch in social dynamics.

It takes months but i ll get over this hurdle.

Investing so much time and energy on someone who d fucking dump me aside for a “better” version.

I ll always remember this treatment though.

...

Conclusions: need to reach out to the few friends i have left. @.@ gdi.

#venting #ranting #hope he stumbles upon this #and reads it #safe to say he won t #or even if he reads it #somehow he ll make me feel crap again #PearlCrysta life snippets

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