hey everyone! I'm sure this is the update that no one was really waiting for lol, but here it is:

it's been almost two years since I started writing on this blog and truly I am so grateful for all the things I was able to achieve and experience since then. this became an outlet for me during a time that I really needed it and almost gave me a purpose when I genuinely felt like I had no idea what I was doing. through this blog, I was able to grow as a writer and a person and I am so thankful to you all for letting me.

I think that you can guess where this is going, but over these past couple months I've realized that this blog is no longer encouraging my growth, but honestly doing the opposite. I want to make it clear that there isn't anything/anyone who caused this change - it 100% has to do with me. my interests have changed and I'm more passionate about new things that I'd like to explore more. I've realized tumblr has become an excuse to avoid my life as opposed to an occasional escape from it and is honestly hindering my ability to make my life more of what I want it to be. for lack of a better term: I think it's time I went outside and touched grass.

for the first time in a long time, I'm genuinely excited about how aspects of my life are going and, I know I don't have them figured out by any means, but I want to give myself the space and time to try. I always knew that this blog wasn't going to be a forever thing and, while I'm always going to be thankful for what it has become for me and others, I think it's served it's purpose and I'm ready to continue figuring out the person I am in a different way.

thank you to all of you for these past two years, I have genuinely had so much fun and am so grateful for how kind and welcoming you were to me. I wish you all nothing but the best and am rooting for you always!

thank you, thank you, thank you <3

-- bugs

p.s. I'm sure you've probably also seen the whole doxxing situation and the amount of people who are leaving because of it. I've already sent my messages to May and fully respect and understand anyone's decision to leave. if I'm honest, I think I made my mind up a while ago, this was just the final nail in the coffin.

Why do you like Rick and Michonne’s characters? (love them too just want to know what you like about them individually)

rick is just one of the best male characters to ever exist. i like that he’s strong but he’s always a family man first and foremost. he would do anything for his loved ones as we’ve seen throughout the show. he’s also so sacrificial, and something about that scratches an itch in my brain. he’s still caring and compassionate despite having to do some of the worst things in order to survive. he’s perceptive, smart and his mind is just always working?? if that makes sense? like that man constantly has plan after plan no matter the circumstances. i also think he’s the best leader and nothing will ever convince me otherwise. he constantly makes the hard decisions and is always stepping up when no one else will. he also just genuinely cares about people still which in that world means a lot. he doesn’t let the power he has ever go to his head. he doesn’t feel threatened by other powerful people and instead wants to work with them. he’s just a good man still, even in an apocalyptic world. it also helps that andrew lincoln is so goddamn talented. there will never be another rick grimes.

and michonne will always be my favorite character. she’s been my favorite since her entrance. she just has a certain presence that makes me watch her in awe. she’s very resourceful and pragmatic, her creativity with walkers especially is something that stands out and shows she thinks outside the box. i think her progression as a character is severely underrated because people just want her to stand there and look cool while having bad ass moments. she also came on the show already knowing how to kill walkers and survive on her own so people overlook her even more in terms of growth. she’s obviously iconic with her look and katana and being such a powerhouse but she has a one of the most biggest journeys in the show. she goes from being a closed off loner to an integral part of the group and a leader in her own right! she’s very loyal but she’s also not afraid to voice her opinions. she’s strong both physically and mentally. she’s highly skilled. she doesn’t take shit from people and knows when things or situations don’t sound right. she’s good at reading people. she just always makes sense and works hard to improve whatever problems arise. she’s someone who loves fiercely and is protective of her loved ones. she also has a fun side and a sense of humor. she is still a warrior while also being a mother and wife. she’s just well balanced and someone to admire. and honestly danai is the reason michonne as a character has so much more depth and personality, writing aside she does so much with so little sometimes and she is always a stand out.

Knuckle series is out!! Any thoughts? Does it affect your Jojo and Gang au?

Spoilers for the Knuckles series people! Avert your eyes children!

First, let's talk about the things I liked:

- Sonic and Tails were great for as little screen time as they had. And Maddie trying to be patient with Knuckles while also not strangling him was great, haha. As someone who worked at a Daycare, I related to her dealing with kids like Knuckles and Maddie's facial expressions when she was grounding Knuckles were on point. Also THEY HAVE A PLAIN BED FOR TAILS AND A TRUCK BED FOR KNUCKLES AHHHHH!!!!!

-Pachacamac is a Jedi Force ghost? Alright then. I don't know much about this character outside of Sonic X but I thought that he was fine. And Christopher Lloyd does a great job as usual.

-Wade was not terrible. I like how he has some character growth through the series and at the end he isn't a master warrior/fighter. He's still a goofball but now he's thinking things through and using what he has and his current surroundings to his advantage in a fight, and isn't just hiding and waiting for Knuckles to save him. But him breaking out of the cage in episode 4 was a bit ridiculous. What was that cage made of, cardboard? He really should have broken his hand or something.

-I liked the villains but I wish that we got to see them more involved in the story, especially the buyer. Who was menacing for about five minutes and then was crushed to death like, dang 0-0

-NANA WHIPPLE AND KNUCKLES SPINOFF SHOW PLEASE!!

-Knuckles was the best part of the show. He's the strong tough warrior but with a big heart and good intentions, though a bit misguided at times. Idris did a great job, nothing new there.

And now let's get into the things I didn't like:

-The show is %70 Wade bowling story and %30 Knuckles adjusting to earth and his backstory with Pachacamac and his tribe and his connection to the master emerald and everything else that the show should have been about. The Wade sub plot takes up so much time that we don't get to explore Knuckles. I wished that we had gotten to see him learn to appreciate and call Earth his new home instead of him just accepting it at the end. It just felt so rushed.

-Episode four wasn't awful but I didn't care for it. Also you can NOT show us the Flames of Disaster from '06 and not have Silver or Blaze show up. You can't do that >:(

-Knuckles and Maddie didn't get to have a heart to heart conversation which is what I and many others thought that was what the show was building up to. Also he never gets in trouble for running way and we never cut back to seeing Maddie or Sonic and Tails realizing Knuckles is gone, or even Sonic and Tails trying to cover for Knuckles. I get that the CGI was expensive and voice actor and actor schedules might not have worked out for it to happen, but my point still stands.

-Wanda was useless and you could have cut her out and lost nothing. Don't get me wrong, the actress is good but she feels wasted here. Her character is so annoying and serves no purpose other than to be mean to Wade. And why do we have to have the "siblings who hate each other but make up at the end" cliche? I would have liked Wanda more if she was nicer to Wade from the start and if they had a fun sibling bond with each other. Also if she was able to actually use her skills as an FBI agent to at least hold her own against the gang when they attack Nanna Whipple's house. Also the dad needed to be more comedically villainous, he was too generic.

-Like I said the villains here are fine but the Buyer's whole character is to just show up, have a cool robot fight, and die. We don't get to see him be a threat to Knuckles at all, he just appears for the climax and then is offed in a snap. And the two agents were fun but a lot of their dialogue was graining.

-And that leads me to the main problem with the series. The writing. I'm aware that the writers for the main movies didn't work much on this series, except Jeff did do the first episode. Which is why it's the best one. There is no balance between the jokes and the emotional moments. The show is so focused on trying to make you laugh every five minutes that it sacrifices genuine emotional growth for the characters especially for Knuckles. You know, the whole reason for the show existing in the first place. It suffers the same problems that the live action Ton and Jerry movie had, where the main stars weren't allowed to be the main stars of their film. All of the screen time there went to the human characters who weren't interesting or just plain annoying and mean.

And the dialogue for the show teeters back and forth between actually funny/well written and being dangerously close to obnoxious. And kids shows having jokes all the time isn't a problem. Rottmnt and the Lego Movies are both kid properties that fire off a joke every minute but they knew when to cut back and let the emotional moments shine. The jokes in the Knuckles show felt more like they were pandering to four year old's then actually trying to be funny and the emotional moments felt kind of forced.

I don't want to give any of the writers or anyone who worked on this show a hard time. I can see that everyone worked hard and had fun with this. And I had fun too. There were some good moments between Knuckles and Wade and even a few jokes that got me. But the problems I listed above are just to hard for me to ignore. If you liked the Knuckles series then great for you! I'm happy you were able to have a great time! But for me it was just ok.

Not great. But not bad either. 5/10.

Now, about this affecting Jojo and Gang. I think what I'll do is have comic take place a month after the Knuckles series. And use my AU to focus on Knuckles getting accustomed to Earth and learning to call it home. Basically my AU will do what the Knuckles series didn't.

first vs last appearances

I have so many thoughts about this finale. Like so many.

But all I can say for now is

Thank you dana and team

Thank you everyone who did anything for this show even though you were given a limited time you still gave us all an amazing end and I'm happy about it

My heart is full right now

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Blue

of the many injustices put forth toward the show by fans i think the most overall damaging and telling of a complete lack of critical viewership is the idea that sam riegel builds his characters with nothing more than the bit in mind. like you are only telling on yourself if you think characters like scanlan shorthalt and veth brennato are one-dimensional and depthless

*E1-3 of Season 2*

Me: oh wow they're really giving Ed a dark villain arc! I love it! Of course, this means we will get a glorious redemption arc throughout the rest of the season where he does his best to make amends with Izzy and the crew, who he was explicitly shown to torture and traumatise <3

*After Ed's canonically-acknowledged-as-incredibly-shitty apology to the crew*

Me: Right, well that is obviously the moment where he changes and starts developing as a character! We're going to get a lot of growth this season; I can feel it. He's going to figure out that this isn't about him, it's about the people he hurt. He's going to actually improve as a person, in such a way that he starts to respect and care for his crew in a way he's never been shown to in the past! What an awesome arc! Yay!

*Season finale*

Me: ....

Willow | Spike - Clothing

“Why are you still in costume?” “Okay, still having to explain wherein this is just my outfit.”

"That despite having experienced inhuman suffering, she has nonetheless been able to gain the strength to face life."

Understanding in 1x02 vs 4x03:

*deep breath*

Early on, this is what Shiv sees:

This is what she doesn’t see:

Kendall is cornered into talking about the business. Wordlessly, gently threatened into it when he said he didn’t want to right now. Gerri and Karl aren't in mourning. They are doing their jobs, and they’re testing him to see if he can do his. If he said no and walked away, the company would be taken out of family control, Logan would be furious, and he'd lose out on his dream forever.

Shiv sees none of that happen, and Kendall doesn't even tell her about it- maybe because he thinks she wouldn't listen, maybe because she said she thinks he’s weak already, or maybe because he just almost never defends himself in general. But she can’t see his perspective without knowing what happened.

The lack of understanding between them results in this disaster:

She thinks he’s being cold by talking to the nominating committee, but we see how he really feels. He just always turns to reason and order in times of crisis and she doesn’t really know that.

He has not forgotten this conversation or Shiv’s perception of him here. He doesn’t want that:

Shiv’s been inside Waystar now. She knows now that talking business for a minute during a dark time doesn’t mean you don’t care. In fact, she did it while Kendall was confessing his worst moment, but it didn’t mean she loves him less. She knows him better now and has seen that he’s anything but emotionless. No one criticizes him for turning to reason and order this time. They ask for it.

No matter what happens, he won’t forget this nice conversation either. He won’t forget that his siblings finally see him the way he’s always hoped they would: as the big brother who can make hard decisions in seemingly impossible moments. He’s the one who can shepherd them through it. There’s trust there now and they finally know how it feels. The door will be open for togetherness now, even if it looks like it might close for a while. It’s not that they changed as people, it’s that they’ve learned how to read each other.

Not seeing each other’s perspectives led to having to be alone:

Now, it seems, even though they will struggle for a while, they have an understanding.

🤍

bruce immediately asking if he hurt dick after days spent infected yeah okay dc i see this and i raise you: 😭😭😭

thinking about my little meow meow

sol emeralds and sol energy fucking her up 😱

Here's the thing about politics, and ultimately, the world: you are going to be biased, and you are going to have a limited understanding of others to an extent. The key is to not deny that this exists because you will be ignorant when you are biased and limited in your worldview.

Yes, absolutely listen to multiple voices and points of view and a variety of different types of people. But know that this isn't the same as erasing all biases and "self-centered" views. Strive to do better without denying that you are fallible.

Can't stop thinking about Cellbit putting himself in harms way to protect Roier from Cucurucho and how, just days prior, Forever did the exact same thing for Maximus.

Thinking about Evan Buckley. The boy who was born as spare parts. Evan Buckley who tried soooo hard to get his parents attention to the point of self-harm. Evan Buckley who, as a child, got all of his attention from his sister, who was eventually pulled away by her abusive boyfriend, leaving him alone. Evan Buckley who upon realizing he doesn't know who he is tried every job he could to figure it out. Evan Buckley who acted out and flirted and had women on a string because he seeks attention because he's never had attention joining the 118 to be the hero. To have people look at him and be like wow, he's cool, only to find a group of people who become his family. Evan Buckley who slowly realizes he doesn't have to act out and flirt with every woman to get attention, he can just be himself. Evan Buckley, who upon meeting Eddie Diaz, was frightened that this family he has formed would replace him. That now that this cooler guy is in the group, he won't be needed. Evan Buckley who realized that's not true, that there's room for both of them, and now his family is even bigger. Evan Buckley who felt like he lost all of this when he was removed from his duties at the 118 due to his injuries, and was once again scared that they'd no longer have time for him, that he'd be back to how it was when he was vying for his parents' attention. Like how he had Maddie's attention when he was a child, but she left, now his found family is leaving him too. Evan Buckley who realized that's not true because this family isn't built on something so simple as being co-workers. This is his family for life. To Evan Buckley who, despite realizing these things, is stuck on the hamster wheel. Evan Buckley who doesn't understand why all of his relationships fail. Evan Buckley who doesn't know what it is he is doing wrong. Evan Buckley who, despite all the strides he has made in seven years, still doesn't feel whole. Evan Buckley who sees Tommy and thinks wow, that's a cool guy, which is what he wanted people to think when they saw him. Evan Buckley who, like he did so long ago, is vying for the attention of someone. Evan Buckley who sees this cool guy and his best friend so seamlessly hit it off and is once again left attentionless from two people he's craving attention from. Evan Buckley whose jealousy causes him to hurt his best friend and he feels horrible and what is it that he's doing exactly? Why does he want this attention so badly?

Evan Buckley who stands across from Tommy and admits aloud to him that he was jealous and he's wanted his attention and slowly... slowly the wheels are turning in his head. The light bulbs are coming on. His heart is beating. And that puzzle piece he's been missing for his entire life is being slotted into place.

Oh. He's bisexual. And he's never felt like enough because he never felt like a whole person. Because he tried so desperately to fill that whole with other people's attention and this is what's been missing. This is who he is. And now he can breathe. Now he can explore. Now he can be himself.

I'm thinking a lot about that Evan Buckley.

Eyes up, kiddo; you're doing great!