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cripplecharacters · 11 days

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Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?

[large text: Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?]

(TLDR: no. literally no.)

A frequent topic that shows up around facial differences is the self-hatred, self-disgust, self-insert-negative-emotion that we must surely experience. I want to ask* writers without FDs - why? Why do you feel about us in such a way that that's the most common way of depicting us?

*- rhetorical question. I promise I know the answers, but I'm not sure if writers do.

It's frankly worrying to me. Is it really that common to assume that disabled people have this internal, never-ending hatred for themselves? The overwhelming majority of us don't. We hate inaccessibility, when people stare, or some symptoms when they get in the way, or how expensive being disabled is, but I find the concept of us being so completely disturbed by our own disabilities extremely strange. It’s “tragedy porn” intersecting “most basic ableism”.

“But trauma!”

[large text: “But trauma!”]

Trauma of what! People with facial differences don't have some sort of default trauma that we come with like it’s a factory setting. We are a group of people with tens of thousands of stories and experiences!

“Trauma of experiencing ableism/disfiguremisia” - that's better, at least this means something. If you're writing a story about this, please get a sensitivity reader with a facial difference. You can assume how we feel all you want, but in my experience these assumptions are often bizarre and unrealistic. Or just end up writing the same “disability so sad” sob story that everyone has seen a billion times. If you want to write about disfiguremisia, you need to understand the nuance and have more than just the basic level knowledge (which 99% of people don’t have either). If you can’t do that, don’t write about it. Simple as that.

“Trauma of the accident” - thankfully, the accident is an event and a facial difference is a disability. If you want to connect these two like they're one and the same, you're almost surely going to demonize disability. People with traumatic spinal cord injuries, acquired amputees, people with TBI, people with acquired facial differences - we participate in our communities, we have hobbies, we date, we play with our dogs. Disability isn't a death sentence. Media who make it feel like it is certainly don't help people who do suddenly become disabled, don't you think?

Here's a post by @blindbeta about blind characters becoming blind through trauma that’s better made than anything I could hope to write here. I heavily recommend giving it a read.

And, I can't stress this enough - most of us didn't have “the accident”, most of us are born like this! "Traumatic scars" isn't the only facial difference that exists, far from it, it's only one of thousands. It's 99% of our representation and "representation". If you want to make a character with FD - please consider that we aren't a monolith. Just like not all physical disabilities are "wheelchair user with paralysis", not all facial differences are "traumatic scar with somehow no nerve damage".

The overrepresentation of it is incredibly telling, and sometimes - or very frequently - feels like the writer doesn’t actually even want to deal with us. They want to use our disability as a way to cheap drama, moral metaphors, tragic backstories. Not to represent us as living people who are much more similar to you than you apparently think.

Now, I do have enough awareness to know that that's a big part of the appeal. “Horrific Thing #2456 happens” and boom, instant drama! Of course, it's a reasonable response that they would hide their disability for years, avoid talking about it in any way, and magically change their personality to be mean and reclusive, or at least be constantly soooo sad about how much it sucks to be disabled, right?

Do I really need to say that having your character becoming disabled be the worst thing ever is ableism 101? We have been talking about this for so long at this point. Writing about the process of adapting to a specific disability is better left to people who have actual experience in it.

To give an example that will hopefully resonate more with Tumblr users, I will use the fact that I'm also gay. It's not perfect by any means but probably much more familiar territory.

Imagine, let's say, a character. He's gay. The story he's in is supposedly progressive, certainly not trying to be homophobic. The character has experienced an incident, maybe an act of aggression or a hate crime, that happened because he’s gay, which was traumatic. Happens IRL, sure. So of course the character starts hating being gay. He talks about how gross and disgusting it is, he never lets anyone know that he could be “one of them”, certainly not take a stance against homophobia. You can't mention him without mentioning the accident, they're seemingly fused together. No gay love, joy, even basic happiness, he would actually choose to be straight in a heartbeat if given the option to and complains that he can't. This is shown as a neutral, obvious thing that a gay man would do, no one comments on it. He stays like this the whole time, unless there’s a plot twist in the last 10 pages where the world is now magically perfect ("we fixed discrimination, yay!"). This is the only LGBT character in the story.

Keep in mind that there are people similar to this in real life, living with extreme internalized homophobia.

Is this, in your opinion, realistic and thoughtful representation? How does it feel when written by a cishet writer, versus a gay writer who is recalling his experiences? Do you think that it's reasonable for the majority of media representation to be like this, or very close to it? How would it affect younger gay people who might already be uncomfortable with being queer? Are gay men the target audience, or are they not even considered as a group of people who read books? Is this helping or damaging the general public's idea of how it is to be gay? Why or why not?

The Masterpiece

[large text: The Masterpiece]

From 13 to 19 of May, we are celebrating Face Equality week (what a coincidence!). It’s important to me in general - and I wish it was more important to abled people, but I digress - especially its theme for this year.

“My Face is a Masterpiece”

Great statement, it represents the community well, I do enjoy how bold it is. Very cool stuff, I love the work our advocates are doing!

But why do I bring this up?

Well, to very non-subtly show that we aren’t a self-hating group of people. We are a community, a community saying “our faces are beautiful, look!”, we are saying “treat us equally, and do it now!”. Our activism isn’t about self-disgust. It’s about fighting your-disgust.

Why can’t writers keep up? Why are you still stuck decades behind?

Is this the only reason I bring it up?

The Call to Celebration

[large text: The Call to Celebration]

FEI, the org behind organizing it, asks a very simple question (emphasis mine):

“Why do we so often see stories about facial difference as a ‘tragedy’, when they should be about triumph?” “Calling all artists, allies, creatives, galleries. You can rewrite the story to bring about #FaceEquality and celebrate the unique artistry found in every face. Your participation this #FaceEqualityWeek will help to tell the real story, that there is a masterpiece in every face.”

Here. We are calling for you to stop. Directly from the biggest international advocacy alliance group that's out there. If you create, this is for you.

The last argument to not have your character with a facial difference hate themselves? Because we don’t want this. We are tired and frustrated. For me personally, I’m also offended by this kind of assumption. We aren’t tragedies or cheap entertainment for abled people to pity or be horrified by. We are people, and if you can’t internalize that, you have no reason to write about us.

For once, celebrate us. Happy Face Equality Week!

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #face difference #ableism #disfiguremisia #face equality week #my face is a masterpiece #writing guide #writing help #writeblr #writing resources #writing advice #writing tips #writing characters #how to write #writing disabled characters #writing disability

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tofixtheshadows · 8 days

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Id love to hear ur interpretation and analysis on falin! She’s one of my favorite characters and and I was wondering what ur thoughts on her are

Man, I struggle to think of anything I could say about Falin that others have not already said. But she's one of my favorite things about Dungeon Meshi too.

So much of the story revolves around Falin, and she's not even there. Tumblr loves to talk about haunting the narrative, but Falin might be one of the best examples of it ever put to page. She's dead. She's alive. She's dead. She's alive. She's alive but she's missing, she's alive but she isn't herself. She's dead but she might wake. She's dead but she's frozen in ice. She's alive but she's sleepwalking. They chase her ghost and they chase her body all through the story.

I think what Kui does with her is fascinating. Not just as character with a personality we can analyze, but as an object in a narrative- that's why I say she's one of my favorite things about the story, because I also mean it in a mechanical sense. As a writer, Kui's really good at misdirection- that is, setting you up to believe or expect something about a character or a plot, and then turning that on its head. It's most apparent with Kabru, but it works really well with Falin too.

Because the precious little sister is a very well known character archetype, right? So is the gentle healer. The heart of the party. The white mage girl. The damsel in distress. The martyr.

And this isn't a Laura Palmer situation, where we find out that beneath her wholesome surface there's something dark and troubled. No, Falin truly is a kind and gentle person. That isn't where the misdirection leads (and that, too, I think, is another misdirection- it's not "Plot twist, she isn't as nice as you thought!", which would almost be too easy).

The misdirection here is more about structure than about character (but also, yeah- a little about character).

What I mean is, with these archetypes firmly in mind, along with a whole other host of fantasy genre expectations, I think anyone who goes into Dungeon Meshi un-spoiled probably expects Falin's rescue to be an endgame event; at least on a subconscious level, where you're not really thinking about it but in the back of your head you're already stretching out the story to place Falin firmly in the distance. Fire breathing dragon at the bottom of the dungeon is perfect final boss material, right? Slay the dragon. Rescue the princess.

And Falin is the perfect prize in the traditional old school fantasy that the concept of the titular dungeon is a send-up to. Blonde (white), soft-spoken, sweet-natured, beloved by everyone. An angelic figure.

Maybe that's why Ryoko Kui gave her white wings.

It is sort of jarring when chapter 23 rolls around and it's already time to fight the red dragon. And it takes a few chapters, but they succeed. And then Falin's impossible resurrection succeeds. But by then you guess that this is not going to be the story you expected it to be.

I want to point out that Falin spends a lot of time getting, well, babied, post-resurrection. Marcille washes her in the bath, despite Falin stating that she's capable of washing herself. Marcille schools her about her mana use despite Falin demonstrating that she is not hurting for mana, and brushes aside Falin's explanations. Both Marcille and Laios refuse to actually tell her what happened. Laios scruffs up her hair like she's a little kid and scolds her for something she can't remember doing. Marcille explicitly calls her a little kid when Falin tries to talk about how much she's grown.

Of course I'm not saying that Laios was wrong to act like a big brother, or that Marcille shouldn't be worried about taking care of her shell-shocked friend in the bath. But the framing of it clearly shows a Falin who is struggling to be heard.

If you'd like to address the big gay elephant in the room while we're here, I want to state for the record that- whether you read her as gay or not -I think Marcille is completely oblivious during this. Because Falin is her little friend from school. Her best friend, yes, but also the young tallman student she, in her infinite elven wisdom, had to mentor and look after. Marcille has not yet accepted that Falin is an adult now, nor has she accepted that she, herself, is only barely past teenagerhood developmentally and is not nearly as mature as she believes. Of course she'd scrub Falin in the bath and fuss over her.

Falin, meanwhile, seems more than aware of her own adult body and the inappropriate way Marcille is treating it.

The mana-sharing scene is, I think, Falin trying to get a little of her own back. How do you like it, Marcille?

And she tries again in bed.

Maybe she's wondering if their relationship will change now that they're grown ups. If Marcille prefers her as a little girl, or at least as a woman who lets herself be guided like one; if Marcille will react badly if Falin keeps trying to assert herself. She also might be subtly trying to signal to Marcille that bed sharing, like bathing, carries a different weight to it when you do it as adults rather than as children.

With all this in mind, the decision to turn Falin from the precious prize they rescued into to the vicious dragon they have to slay, hits a lot harder.

Falin with a powerful, monstrous, destructive body. Falin, who couldn't even stand to cause people pain from using healing spells, slaughtering half a dozen people in brutal ways. And that's not her, she's being mind-controlled, but as an object in the story she has completely flipped. From damsel to threat.

And I love that she carries a little bit of that with her when she's resurrected again.

Because she's no longer the girl who's going to let herself be stifled by her brother's and her best friend's co-dependency, no matter how much she loves them. She's different now: stronger, eyes open, forging her own path instead of following in their wake. Falin is still going to come back to them again, but this time it won't be because they chased her. It'll be because they let her go.

#Dungeon Meshi #Falin Touden #hiiii anon I hope you're still around #I'm sorry I didn't get to this last week but it was a bad brain time and I had to keep coming back to this #can I also apologize for the amount of tangents I nearly went off on here?#musings with Dea #dungeonposting #Dungeon Meshi spoilers #I had to rein myself in a lot because I could have taken like five other points here to expand on #Dea answers #Dea's anonymous friends

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marvelouslizzie · 1 year

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You're My Desire - Co-written with @notafunkiller

Summary: Your best friend drags you out on a double date. You were supposed to be Steve Rogers' date, but plans change pretty quickly and you end up in Bucky Barnes' arms.

Pairing: 40s Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, first date, public sex, ripped clothing, teasing, rough sex, dirty talk, praise, pet names, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 5.5K

A/N: We really don't have an excuse for this one. We just wanted 40s Bucky to have a good time, you know? This is basically smut with little bit of plot.

Please give my lovely co-writer @notafunkiller a follow. She's also a Bucky Barnes writer and her stories are amazing.

All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.

Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it's hate. That's never welcome.

Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.

Even though you really didn’t want to, you find yourself on a double date with your best friend. She literally begged you to come because she promised she would bring someone for her date’s best friend and apparently she really doesn’t wanna disappoint the handsome soldier.

You're shocked, though, when you arrive at the fair and see Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes in the flesh waiting for you two at the gate.

You were pretty sure she brought you here for Bucky Barnes but it turns out your date is actually Steve Rogers, aka Captain America himself.

You don't know what to do at first, awkwardly watching your friend hugging Bucky as if they knew each other for ages. Even though they met just a day ago. Steve extends his hand politely, which you immediately shake.

It doesn’t take long for you to go inside the fun fair together while chatting casually. Your friend, Cassie, starts asking questions about the war. She loves front-line stories, but Bucky doesn’t seem like he enjoys telling them.

Steve, on the other hand, is very excited to do it, answering all of Cassie's questions as you quietly watch them. You wonder why you said yes to this date. You've never been into soldiers and even less into war discussions. But you love your friend very much even when she ignores you.

You find yourself looking at Bucky while Cassie and Steve start to chat and exchange stories. He kinda seems amused by this development. You shrug looking in his direction, waiting for him to say something. After all, you are both already bored and your friends don't even seem to care or notice you anymore in the first place.

Bucky just smiles and then tries to change the subject. You think he actually handles that topic change pretty smoothly and it sticks for a while until Cassie gets bored of talking about books.

You remark Bucky's sad face, but you don't say anything. Instead, you subtly start to walk slower, hoping he'll do the same. As Cassie keeps talking to Steve, Bucky notices you are getting behind and just slows down a little.

"You're okay? Are your legs hurting?" Bucky asks concerned while looking at her shoes.

“No, no, I’m fine. Just got tired of the war stories, that’s all.” You keep walking slowly.

"Me, too." He sighs. "It's a never-ending subject at this point."

“Well, where there's life there's hope.” You quote the Hobbit instinctively. You hold on to the hope, one day you won’t have to talk about this war.

Bucky gasps, looking at you in a way you never experienced before. "What did you say?"

“I just said where there's life there's hope.” You repeat, surprised by the way he probably recognized the quote. People usually have no idea what you are referring to. Not him though.

"You're a fan? Oh god!"

That starts your actual conversation with Bucky Barnes. It turns out he’s a big bookworm himself. He reads as much as he can, always buying more books that he manages to read.

You didn't even realize how close you are until your shoulders slightly brush. You blush when he smiles, clearly not minding. Still, you feel very conscious about your closeness and quickly look toward your friend, feeling guilty that you are enjoying the company of her date, but she doesn’t seem to care one bit. On the contrary, she’s actually holding Steve Rogers’ arm while talking and laughing.

"You're very beautiful." You hear Bucky murmur shily.

His compliment catches you off guard. You were about to apologize on behalf of Cassie. Yet you find yourself blushing.

"And you love reading. I am a lucky man. I get to talk to you."

“I could say the same thing myself, Sergeant. I much rather talk about books instead of the war.”

"Then you got the right company." Bucky smiles and looks around. "Should we get some ice cream?"

“That would be amazing.” And that’s how you end up separated from Cassie and Steve. Bucky informs them about their plan and then leaves without waiting for them.

You spend the next hour talking and walking around the entire fair. James even won a teddy bear for you. Once in a while both of you act like you wanna find Steve and Cassie, but you definitely don’t care.

"I don't remember the last time I felt so comfortable and good with someone."

“I’m glad I’m not boring the shit out of you.” You know it’s not ladylike to speak this way, but you feel comfortable around him. It’s crazy when you consider you just met him maybe two hours ago.

Bucky smiles. "I can say the same. Steve says I'm quite boring."

“He’s quite boring himself.”

"Is he?" He snorts.

“Yeah. Who knew Captain America would be into war stories?”

"Doesn't the name say it?" He continues in the same joking tone.

“The name suggests he’s heroic and boring but he’s more boring and less heroic than expected. Stealing his best friend's date doesn’t scream honorable to me.”

Bucky is shocked to see her indirectly standing up for him. "Maybe I stole his date, though."

“His date was uninterested from the start and just being nice to her best friend.”

"Is she still uninterested?"

“In him? Yes.” You act like you don’t understand what he is actually asking.

"Well, the feelings are mutual. About the date and now…"

“You were uninterested in Cassie?” You say it in a way that shows you don’t believe him.

"Wasn't it obvious?"

“Nope.” It definitely wasn’t when they hugged each other the moment they arrived.

"I was trying to be polite. She insisted on this… meeting because I helped her out. I was relieved I could bring Steve."

“She sounded very interested in you until Captain Rogers started with war stories.”

"She was staring at his… back ever since we arrived."

You burst out laughing and he joins you right after. It sets the tone for the rest of the night and makes you notice you both don’t give a shit.

"I want to show you something," you say after a few seconds and quickly drag him after you until you reach a darker alley close to the last attraction. You drop the teddy bear carefully at your feet. "Hi."

“Hi.” He still seems a bit confused, but it’s so cute. He looks at the teddy bear and then his eyes turn back to your face. You can’t help but smile.

"You're so cute. Has anyone told you that?" You smile in return.

He acts like thinking for a second. “No, not really. Just cute?” He fishes for more.

"And smart." You touch his chest shily. "And kind."

“Hmm, those are not what people notice first.” He moves a little bit closer. “You have something…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, instead, his thumb brushes the corner of your lips. You wait for him to wipe off whatever you had on your face before opening your mouth and letting your tongue touch his finger shamelessly.

You watch Bucky’s eyes widen out of surprise. He didn't expect that at all. You grab his hand, bringing his finger inside your mouth, and notice how his breathing quickens. Yet he doesn’t stop you.

You let your tongue play for a few seconds until you let his finger go with a small bite. He lets out the lowest moan but not only do you hear it, but you also love it.

"Wow, I…" He doesn't know what to say, all red and excited.

“You what? Do you feel uncomfortable? Excited? I mean, I can stop if you want.”

In response, brave and happy, Bucky kisses you. His tongue is already on your bottom lip asking for permission, which you grant by opening your mouth without realizing it.

The kiss isn’t shy like you expected, and he definitely knows how to kiss. The way his lips and tongue move makes you want more, right then and there.

Your hands go to his neck as you let yourself enjoy the kiss even more. You keep kissing until you feel breathless. When Bucky breaks it, he doesn’t move away. His forehead touches yours as you try to catch your breath.

"This was…"

“I wanna do something if that’s okay…” You say while suddenly getting on your knees. You are wearing your favorite nylon stockings and you're sure they are gonna get ripped, but you don't care.

Bucky thinks he's daydreaming because how can this happen? How?

"What? What are you doing?"

“I think you know what I am doing, Sergeant. Just tell me to stop if you don’t want it, okay?” Your hands move to his belt but you wait for a reaction first.

"Stop. That's not… you don't have to do this. We are having a great time anyway."

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to. Is that okay for you?”

He can only nod, totally shocked and excited at the same time.

You unbuckle him slowly. Even though you are in a public place, you're in no hurry. You unzip him while looking into his eyes. When you finally take him out of his pants, he seems speechless. He’s already hard, but as soon as you start to move your hand, he gets rock hard after maybe four pumps.

"Jesus, you're so pretty. You look like a doll on your knees."

You smile proudly. “Tell me what I look like when I do this,” you say before taking him inside your mouth.

He closes his eyes, groaning. Your mouth is so wet and warm. You take it slow at first. Your mouth moves gently while you swirl your tongue around the head.

"Please." You hear him whisper, his left hand resting against the wall behind him.

You move your mouth away from him just to ask “Please what?” Your lipstick is already a little smudged.

"Oh god, keep going. Please, you're such a pretty sight."

“Tell me how I look when you're inside my mouth and I'll continue, promise.” You wink and remind him he still hasn’t fulfilled your request.

"Like a dream. Like a goddess."

“Hmm…” You go back to taking him inside your mouth without making another comment. This time, you move a bit faster than before and start using your hand.

"Your mouth will be the death of me."

That makes you smile but you don’t stop, moving your hand and mouth at the same time, hoping for a good reaction. His hand finds its way to your hair, wrapping it enough to pull a little. That encourages you to go faster, in need for a tighter grip. And you get it: soon, he wraps more of your hair around his whole fist, moaning your name.

“I think I'm gonna…” He sounds so breathy. “You should pull away.”

You look at him, acknowledging his warning, but showing him you are ignoring it. You keep moving fast, making sure your tongue flicks around the right spot every time until he spills inside your mouth. It’s a lot more than you are used to, but you still keep going until he completely empties himself. You take your mouth off, looking into his eyes before swallowing.

"No." He covers his eyes while groaning. "You can't do this to me, doll. Jesus…"

“Do what?” You innocently ask.

He doesn't answer you, taking you by the back of the neck and kissing you sloppily. You don’t get a chance to warn him about the taste and he doesn’t seem to care one bit. He groans into your mouth when he feels your hands on his ass and breaks the kiss just to suck on your neck.

Then you feel his hands between your bodies, trying to pull up his pants again.

You break the kiss to ask: “What are you doing?”

"I'm putting on my pants," he sounds like a kid. "And I wanna get on my knees for you, too."

“Maybe I want something else that doesn’t require you to put your pants on.”

He nods, without understanding what you mean. "Alright. I'll just-" He drops his right hand until it reaches her skirt. "Is it okay?" You nod with a smile. Even though it’s not what you meant, it’s fine.

His fingers immediately go to your underwear and push it aside.

"Fuck me. Look at that." You are really wet and his curses don't help either. "Soaked. Is that for me, doll?"

“No, it’s for Captain Rogers, who bored the shit out of me.” You joke.

You feel his fingers stopping on your slit as he lifts his head. "What did you say?"

“I said it’s for Captain Rogers, who bored the shit out of me. You know that gets the girls wet.” You hope he won’t be offended by this. It’s just a silly joke.

In response, Bucky pushes a finger inside you quickly, his lips curling into a smirk. "Should I start talking about war, too? Bet that would get you even wetter."

You let out a deep breath, relieved. Thank God he isn’t offended. “That would get me dry as a desert, Sergeant Barnes.”

"Should I dye my hair then?" He snorts, moving his finger faster.

“Maybe you should get a shield. It would definitely look better on you.”

"A shield, huh?" Bucky adds another finger, trying to scissor them inside you a couple of times. "Is it too much?"

“Nope,” you say after a moan. “It’s not enough.”

"Fuck, you…" he closes his eyes. "You want another?"

“I want something else.” You smile, hoping him to understand this time.

"Yeah? Like what?"

You grab his cock and gently rub it without saying a word. You are not surprised he’s hard because his erection has been pressed on your leg for a while.

"Fuck. You want my cock, baby?"

“Yeah. Why do you think I didn’t let you pull your pants back up?”

"I don't-" He moans. "I didn't think."

“Come on. You are making me wait while I’m soaking your fingers.”

"Wanna make you…" Bucky interrupts himself by adding a third finger, his other hand going to your clit. "Happy."

“Fuck.” You throw your head back, that felt so good.

"You like this?" He rubs a little more, paying attention to your body. His fingers inside you keep the same pace, though. He isn't slowing down now even if it's the end of the world.

“Yeah, that.” You breathe out. You already feel your legs shaking and you're afraid your knees might give out, but it feels so good, you can’t seem to focus on the concerns.

"Hold on to me."

You put your hands on his shoulders and it helps you relax a bit more. After that, your orgasm comes crashing in like a big wave that leaves you breathless. He doesn't stop moving his fingers until you finish coming, then he slowly pulls them out, making sure to lick them before kissing you.

“You are such a dirty soldier, Sergeant Barnes,” you say with a smile.

"What is dirty about this?" He shrugs. "I'm a good soldier, of course."

“Doing this in a dark alley with me and licking your fingers clean like that. Very good soldier, indeed.”

"Ihm." He buries his head right onto your shoulder and breathes in. "Thank you."

“For what?” You find yourself kissing his hair while asking the question.

"For this evening and this. Thank you for trusting me."

“You are something else, Bucky,” you say while caressing his hair.

"Hmm?"

You kiss his hair and his ear, then move your lips to his neck. “You can thank me later. We are not done yet.”

"Changed your mind?" He smiles. "Want me on my knees after all?

“Maybe later.” You wink. “Now don’t act like you don’t know what I want because I know you want it, too.”

He freezes. "Wait, you're serious?"

“Of course I am serious. Just don’t finish inside, okay?”

He looks at you again all serious. "Are you sure? We don't have to, I can use my tongue."

“Don’t worry, it’s not my first time and yeah, I’m sure unless you don’t want to.”

Bucky looks at you with puppy eyes. "Uhm, it's my first time."

“Oh god.” Your eyes widen. “I… didn’t consider… that possibility. I’m sorry.”

Bucky starts laughing at your worried expression and kisses your cheek. "My first time with a bookworm doll."

You punch his shoulder. “You worried me!”

That makes him laugh even harder, and you can't help but smile. Because he's extra beautiful like this.

"Why? Do you have something against innocent boys, ma'am? Shame!"

“No, nothing against it. Absolutely would love to teach and corrupt but wouldn’t want that to be your first time.”

"You don't want to take advantage of me, huh? Such a good girl." He surprises you by suddenly lifting you and helping you wrap your legs around his torso.

“Would you like me to take advantage of you?” You kiss his jaw and cheeks.

"Fuck, yes. Yes."

“Then you have my permission to take advantage of me, too.”

He doesn't ask you again if you're sure. Instead, he lifts his right hand to your blouse and starts unbuttoning it as fast as he can. He's so impatient he even manages to rip a button. You just watch him work and smile, hoping the gentleman side of Bucky finally stops holding him back.

He groans at the sight of your hard nipples and quickly leans in to take one in his mouth.

“Oh fuck,” you whimper while he uses his tongue to play with your nipple. It feels so good you don't even notice when his hand drops under your skirt. Until you hear the ripping sound.

“What the fuck?” You can’t believe he's just ripped your nylon stockings. They are so hard to find and so expensive!

"Whha?" He doesn't even take his mouth off your nipple as he speaks.

“Do you know how expensive those stockings are?” Your surprise is so clear in your voice. “You owe me a pair of nylon stockings, Sargeant.”

"They were in the way, baby."

“Getting impatient?” You mock a little.

He pushes his hips a little more. "Can't you feel?"

“You still owe me a pair.”

"What about these?" His hands are now on her panties. "How many do I need to buy you so I can rip these off?"

“Just one pair, but if you wanna rip that one, too, this cycle might never end.”

He sighs, contemplating, but he finally decides not to, only pushing your underwear aside. "How do you want it?"

“What do you mean?”

Bucky takes another step until your back barely brushes against the wall. "How do you like this? The sex."

“Don’t try to act all kind and push aside what you actually want to do. That’s how I want it.”

"Do you uhm… like it fast or slow? The pace I mean." He's slowly pushing inside you while he asks, trying to be as gentle as possible.

“That’s exactly what I meant. Do it however you want and we will see how I like it. Don’t be too gentle like this.”

"Talk to me, okay?" He's halfway inside you now, staying still for a few seconds as he leaves small kisses on your neck.

“Oh, I will, don’t worry, handsome. No one can stop me from complaining if I don’t like something.”

"Good girl." He tries different types of thrusts and angles at first, wanting to see what you respond to the most.

“Fuck. Why do you keep saying that?” She moves her hips to make him thrust faster.

"Because you're my good girl. Dirty too." He moans when he feels you. "God, you want it faster, baby?"

“Yes, yes, I do. Please. Move faster.”

And he does, his grip on your ass tightening as he starts thrusting just the way you want. "Fuck, you're soaked. You feel so good around me."

“You feel good, too.” You moan in between words. “And you are strong. Really strong,” you remark because he doesn’t look tired while holding you.

But he doesn't seem to acknowledge that. "I'm so fucking lucky, Jesus." He groans when he feels your lips sucking on his collarbone.

“You didn’t think your double date would end this way, huh?”

"Deep inside you? Not a chance." He smiles, speeding up.

“Maybe deep inside someone else.” You tease on purpose.

Bucky immediately stops thrusting. "What?"

“I was just joking about how we were meant to be on a date with other people.” You hate that you can’t shut your mouth sometimes.

"Oh," he nods, restarting to move. "Well, I can assure you, he wouldn't have done this tonight." He jokes back.

“Fuck me against the wall like this?”

"Fuck you at all. But especially like this. And the language?" He laughs. "Never."

“Oh, so honorable of him.” You keep joking. “Poor Cassie.”

His right-hand flies behind your head to protect it as his thrusts become way too quick. "Fuck. You feel like heaven, I swear."

“God, how do you do that?” You are surprised that he can carry you with one hand. “Are you sure you aren’t a super soldier yourself?”

Bucky shakes his head amused. "That will go straight to my ego."

“You're carrying me with one hand while protecting my head with the other, and you keep fucking me at the same time. I think it should go straight to your ego.”

He groans. "Lower one of your hands now."

“Lower it where exactly?” You don’t understand what he wants.

His hand moves from the back of her head for a few seconds just to bring her fingers to her clitoris. "Right here. Can you rub this for me?"

“Ohh.” You finally understand what he’s trying to do, so you listen and start rubbing yourself while his hand goes back to your head.

"Good, good girl. Look at you." He doesn't even realize how deep his thrusts are because his focus is on your fingers.

“Oh god… It feels so good.” You have never done something like this before. No public sex, no touching yourself during sex, no good girl whispers next to your ear. They all make you feel dizzy.

"Yeah? Just good?" His mouth finds your breasts this time, and you just know he's leaving a few marks there by the way he sucks on your skin.

“You wanna hear how good it makes me feel?”

"Ihmm."

“Oh, you are even dirtier than you are showing, aren’t you, Sergeant Barnes?”

He looks up immediately. "Say that again." He demands.

“Sergeant Barnes?”

"Fuck, you need to rub faster."

“You need to fuck me harder.” You say while listening to his order.

"Harder?" He repeats, shocked, not expecting that in the slightest. But he does as you demand in a heartbeat, biting his tongue because it feels so good.

You have a hard time holding back your reaction because it feels just perfect. You can feel your orgasm approaching.

“Shit, you need to cover my mouth,” you say as quickly as possible.

"Just use me. Bite my shoulder," he suggests quickly, keeping the pace exactly the same.

You wanna say no, because you don’t wanna hurt him but there’s no other choice left. You sink your teeth in somewhere between his neck and shoulder and try to muffle yourself. The orgasm hits you so hard that you are afraid someone is gonna hear you even like this.

"Fuck," he groans, the pain feeling amazing as you keep coming, your legs wrapping even more tightly around his ass.

“Please, don’t stop,” you manage to say and go back to biting him, very aware of the hickey you are giving him, but that doesn’t stop you because you don’t want to get caught like this.

"Can't stop." At this point you wonder how no one noticed you by now. The sound of your skin touching and your groans are not quite silent. But even if they did, you know you wouldn't stop. How could you?

"Keep rubbing, I want you to find pleasure again."

“Again?” You sound shocked because you've literally just come.

"Again." He tries to lift one of your legs a little more. "Please."

“I don’t think I can, but keep going, okay?” You already came twice in a short amount of time. How much more can you do?

"Well, I think you can." He smiles. "Gonna mark me up, baby?"

“I think I already did.” You can see your teeth marks on his neck. You are sure it will turn into purple really soon.

"I'm your property now?" The hand he has on the back of your head quickly grabs your hair and wraps it around his fist.

“Are you?” You like the sound of that and how he’s pulling your hair.

"I am." He's frantically thrusting in and out of you. "Rub faster."

“Fuck,” you mumble while rubbing yourself. You aren’t sure if it’s gonna do anything, but it feels good. “Can I keep you then? You know, kidnap you and hide you in my apartment so you don’t have to go back to the war. We can just do this every day.”

"Fuck, do it." He smiles. "I dare you."

“Should I tie you up so it looks more realistic?” And suddenly all that rubbing starts to feel different, more pleasurable.

"On your bed? Go ahead."

You laugh at how easily he’s convinced, but your laugh is interrupted by a moan.

"Gonna come for me, dolly?"

“I am not sure.” You struggle to speak. “It feels like it.”

He pulls your hair hard. "Please, please."

“You beg so beautifully, how can I say no?” It’s not like your body is saying no, either.

When you finish coming again, you watch with your eyes semi-closed as James takes himself out without dropping you even a little and comes right on your thighs and ripped stockings. You feel the warmth of his come while you both are trying to catch your breath.

"This was… wow."

“This is a hell of a first date.” You find yourself giggling. Did all that really happen? The soreness between your legs says yes.

Bucky slowly puts you down. "You think?" He snorts.

“Oh yeah, very memorable.” You notice that your stockings are completely ruined so you have no other choice but to take them off.

"Fuck, you're dripping." He doesn't look like he's sorry and he can't say he is, either. He's actually very proud.

“Yeah, I am aware.” You laugh while taking them off and using them like a washcloth to clean yourself up.

"You have no idea how lovely the sight is." He winks at you while zipping up his pants.

You bite your bottom lip while looking at him. “Likewise. You look satisfied, Sargeant. Did something happen while you were gone?” You pull your skirt down.

"I got touched by an angel."

You laugh. “So cheesy. You are lucky that you are a bookworm. A really good-looking one, who is also good at bed even though we didn’t even need one.”

"Next time. Maybe we'll break it." He sounds so confident, but not demanding at all at the same time.

“When are you going back?” You find yourself asking. If he’s promising you a second time, you are gonna take it.

"In one week."

You make a sad face without realizing then take a deep breath to help yourself focus on the positive side. “That’s a lot of sex.”

He immediately lifts your chin and presses a kiss on your forehead. "I was joking. We got two months."

“You are such a liar.” You punch him in his shoulder.

Which only makes him laugh. "You like it hard."

But your attention is on his neck, on the spot you bit so hard. The purple spot looks really old and mostly faded already.

"No comment?" He snorts. "We're gonna have a lot of fun for sure."

“I have a question.” Your eyes are still on that same spot. “Does Steve heal quickly?”

"Why? You plan on kicking his ass?"

“Just answer the question, please.”

"Yeah, he does." Bucky shrugs. "One of the perks of the serum."

“Even the small scars or purple spots?”

"Yes." Bucky doesn't even think about it. "Which is great. Why? You think your friend will want to know?"

You don’t comment about his question, instead, touch the spot you bit down so hard. “You are nearly completely healed. My mark has vanished.”

"What?" He asks, confused.

“I bit down on your neck so hard, it was dark red. Now it’s gone.”

"I don't get purple easily. Never did. I guess you have to suck a little more." He smiles leaning in to kiss you again.

“I fully bit you,” you say before he does.

"I noticed." He giggled.

Since he doesn’t take it that seriously you let it go. “Fine. I will prove it to you later.”

"Prove what?" He gives you another kiss.

“That you heal quickly.” You try to fix yourself while you kiss him back.

"Oh, I feel healed every time I look at you."

“You are so cheesy.” Yet you can’t help but laugh. “How do I look?”

"Good boy version or?" He pauses dramatically.

“Both.”

"Good boy version first: you look like an angel." He smiles cheekily.

You snort. “I’m asking if I look decent, Bucky.”

"Angel,” he repeats before dropping his hands to your ass and squeezing. "They won't know you've got fucked against the wall if that's what you're afraid of. But you look strangely content and happy."

“That’s because I had a good date.” You scrunch your nose cheekily.

"Me too. The best date ever."

“Should we try to find our best friends?”

"Oh, sure." Bucky leans in to get the teddy bear before handing it to you.

"Ready for more war stories?"

“No, I’m not.” You hug the bear. “I gotta wash this.”

Bucky snorts. "Poor bear. Got traumatized."

“Traumatized and all dirty.” You don’t notice how close you are to Bucky until you feel him next to you. “Should we keep this a secret from our friends?”

"Do you want to?"

“I meant the having sex in a dark alley part. I don’t think my friend needs to know that.” She definitely shouldn’t know all this.

"We should totally keep that part to ourselves." He smiles.

“I could say that you kissed me or something. I don’t know. Is that too forward for the first date?”

"There's no such thing. You can say I kissed you."

“I was genuinely asking.” You smile. “I normally don’t even kiss on the first date.”

Bucky giggles, his hand squeezing your hip. "I am a lucky gal." You smile back at him until you notice a familiar face.

“Oh, is that Steve?” You point to the tall blonde guy.

"Yes, that's him. But where is your friend?"

“Right in front of him. I can see her dress.” It’s sticking on the side.

"Oh, yes. Gonna drive you home after that if that's alright with you." He sounds so casual like he already did that many times, but you notice something else.

“You have a car and you didn’t think of using it until now?”

"Oh." Redness takes over his cheeks. "I got… distracted."

"You are such an idiot." You start to giggle while walking toward your friends.

"Your idiot now. You got stuck with me for at least two months." He laughs.

"Just for two months?" You test his intentions.

"I can't assume you'd want to wait for me, can I?"

"I will tell your best friend to bring you back home in one piece. He's the hero after all. That should be easy, right?"

Bucky looks at her with a soft expression before kissing her hair. "Guess you really got stuck with me."

"Oh shit, Steve saw you kissing my hair." It’s going to be hard to keep this thing between you two.

"Does it bother you?"

“No, no, no.” You quickly try to explain. “It’s just I’m worried that they might think the worst of me. I mean… questioning our closeness.”

"I dare them." She is surprised by how serious and determined he is as he speaks.

“I would kiss you right now if I could.”

"I won't stop you." He giggles like a kid.

“Our friends are,” you whisper and look at your best friend, who is coming toward you. Cassie is holding Steve’s arm proudly.

"Oh, hello," Steve says. "Where have you been?"

"Here and there." Bucky shrugs. "Did you have fun?"

"Yes!" Cass immediately giggles, joining the conversation. "He has the best, best stories. What about-" She cuts herself off when she notices your appearance. "What happened to your stockings?"

“Oh.” You blush a little, thinking about how they got ruined. “I tripped and ruined them. They looked so horrible I had to take them off completely.”

"Yes, they got really dirty," Bucky confirms with the biggest grin Steve has seen in ages.

"Oh, really?" He lifts his eyebrow. "What a shame."

“Yeah. Sergeant Barnes promised me a new pair. What a gentleman he is.”

"A gentleman indeed." Steve shakes his head, well aware of what you two have done.

You bite your lip and give Bucky a look, hoping at least Cassie has no idea. You are sure the three of you can keep a secret. For now…

You may wanna read the next part: Trust In What Tomorrow Brings

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heesdreamer · 1 year

Text

TOUCH STARVED

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ your bestfriend dyes his hair blonde and old feelings start to surface.

WC ➩ 6.7k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ I recommended listening to I know by Faye Webster Short and simple but I’ve had writers block and just wanted to try to work through it with something easy and comfortable. Thank you for your patience and support NOT PROOFREAD

“Woah.”

“Woah? What kind of reaction is that?” The boy in you doorway had completed deflated after hearing your lifeless exclamation, shoulders dropping in a small sigh as his eyebrows turned downwards on his tired face to glare at you.

It wasn’t a strange sight to see Lee Heeseung standing in the hallway outside of your apartments doorway, even less strange that he was carrying two convenience store slushees, one in his hand and the other tucked neatly into the crease of his elbow. His free hand had just fallen to his side from pushing his hoodie off his head and revealing the only strange thing about this scene.

“When did you do that?” You were instinctively moving your arm up to reach out and touch his hair that he had freshly bleached blonde apparently, shocking you for just a second when he showcased it with an expectant look on his face.

You caught yourself before touching him but he didn’t seem to notice anyways, pushing past you with another sigh and dramatically flopping onto your couch with a grouchy expression.

“It looks nice Hee, just took me by surprise.” You were following behind him and sitting on the couch with a bit of distance between the two of you, watching him curiously and taking note of the ways his features changed underneath the new hair color.

Heeseung had been your best friend ever since you moved into the city a few years ago, frequently stopping at the comic book store he worked at to pick up gifts to send back home to your little brother and eventually, once he had quit for a better opportunity, he had rushed out of the store one day and asked if you wanted to exchange numbers so you didn’t lose touch.

It had become such a casual routine for you to see him, holding small conversations that over time turned into lengthy talks that accidentally held up the stores lines sometimes.

A handful of days contained you stopping by during your lunch break and eating with him behind the register. Heeseung made you laugh harder than anyone you’d ever met and you found that to be even more true once you started seeing him outside of his work.

Two years passed since he quit his job and you’d almost forgotten what it was like to not know him, easily blending into your life and becoming the first person on your call list at all times. Hence why it wasn’t exactly strange for him to be pouting on your couch, disappointed you hadn’t reacted more to the sudden change of his hair.

Heeseung was always the more impulsive one out of the two of you and he constantly seemed to be jumping from hobby to hobby, the perfectionist side of him never letting him stick to learning just one thing. His style and aesthetic had switched about a dozen times since you’d met him and he was never quite satisfied with the posters hanging in his apartment but the hair was definitely a big change, even for him.

“You think it looks nice?” He was looking at you from the side of his eye carefully, still fully attempting to keep up his upset facade but you didn’t miss the fact he was fishing for compliments.

You sighed and shifted on your knees so you were a touch closer to him on the couch, used to his dramatics by now but you figured you’d humor him slightly since he could be sensitive at times.

He didn’t say anything when you moved forward but he tensed a bit when your hand was coming up to touch the brightly dyed hair, your eyes widening in slight surprise considering it didn’t feel completely dead. You were running your hand through his thick hair and trying not to think about how unusual it was for you to be so touchy with him, never really being the type of friends who were overly affectionate with each other.

He hugged you on your birthdays and occasionally touched the small of your back when guiding you through a crowded party or event and you were extremely grateful for his lack of contact considering you definitely weren’t oblivious to how attractive your best friend was.

You’d even eventually came to terms with the fact you positively had a crush on him when you’d first met, something you denied to your friends and family back home whenever they picked up on the smile in your voice at the mention of your new friend and inquired for details.

Being friends with Heeseung was more important to you and it was easy to forget how much you had originally liked him if it meant keeping him in your life, even easier considering he never seemed to toe that line that you nearly crossed occasionally the first year or two.

The line you were carefully skating towards right now with your hand in his hair, close enough on the couch to where your knee touched his thigh for just a second before you were scooting your lower half away a bit to avoid the contact. You didn’t take your hand away however but it moved down to his eyebrows instead, smoothing them down with your thumb and remembering he had asked a question when it quirked up as he waited for a response.

“It makes you look more serious.” You mumbled and he still had an expectant look on his face, like he wasn’t quite satisfied with your answer. “Your eyes look more intense now with your dark eyebrows. It’s sort of sexy.”

He snorted a laugh at that and shook his head in denial, realizing you were teasing him and giving him the answers you figured he was looking for.

“Okay but I am serious about it looking nice.” You were smiling as you spoke and he was watching you closely considering you were still gently rubbing his eyebrow with your thumb, retracting your hand after a few seconds and clearing your throat before changing the topic.

The rest of the hangout went as usual, the two of you sitting on your comfortable couch and watching romance movies that were almost comedies when they got too cringy.

You didn’t notice anything different and Heeseung definitely didn’t offer up anymore surprises as big as his bleached hair but something subtly shifted after he left. It took you a few more times seeing him before you noticed he was acting different, lingering around you closer than normal and reaching out to touch the back of your arm whenever he needed to get your attention.

It was so small you barely registered he was doing it until he was back at your apartment the next weekend, coming in with his spare key like normal but instead of going over to your couch and playing on his phone, he was approaching you in the kitchen and watching you for a few seconds silently.

You raised an eyebrow in his direction when you noticed him staring, rolling up your sleeves midway on your arms before going back to cutting up the fruits you’d pulled out for a snack. “What’s up?”

He shrugged at your question and didn’t immediately answer, leaving a weird feeling of confusion in your chest when he was coming closer and touching his arm against yours from how close he was standing. It was much more difficult to ignore than his small casual touching he’d been increasing recently, a lot more intimate than tapping your knee or moving your hair out of your face.

You hurried up to finish cutting before he could do anything weirder and he still wasn’t speaking even when you were shoving the cut up fruits into a bowl and abandoning him near the counter, hurrying onto the couch and glancing back just in time to see him following behind you into the living room.

It was silent for a few more minutes as you started to flip through the explore page of Netflix and you were just starting to relax after his weird demeanor before he was fixing his position on the couch.

You tensed up when he flipped around so he was spread across the expanse of it, moving his body so his head was resting on your thigh and his arm was dangling off the sofa, fingers grazing the carpet gently as he turned to look up at you. “Can you touch my hair again?”

“What?” It slipped from your mouth faster than you even processed his question and he tensed a bit at the harshness of your tone, almost sounding disgusted underneath all of your shock. You felt a wave of guilt for accidentally being rude, taken completely off guard by his request and the fact he was casually laying on you like it was something the two of you did all the time. You relaxed your shoulders to try and show him you weren’t upset and just confused.

“It felt kind of nice when you touched it the other day… I don’t know you don’t have to never mind, forget it.” He was avoiding looking at you now but not taking his head off your lap, most likely too embarrassed to sit back up and rearrange himself again after just doing it a few seconds ago.

His cheek was pressed on your thigh as he stared at the TV despite the fact you weren’t scrolling down the options anymore and there was nothing for him to be looking at. You watched the side of his face for a few moments, following down his sharp jaw and the way the nearly white hairs fell almost over his eyes.

You were sucking in a breath and touching his hair before you could think about it any longer, feeling the way he tensed underneath your sudden touch before immediately relaxing and practically melting into your lap. You started to pick a movie again despite being completely distracted by how much the two of you were touching and if he noticed you were mindlessly clicking things, he didn’t say anything about it.

“Wait… he asked you to pet him?” Sunoo was jaw dropped from where he sat on your bed, watching you rummage through your closet as you ranted to him about the weird moments with Heeseung.

You sighed and shot him a glare because of his weird wording, not responding for a few seconds and squeezing your eyes shut tight when he was letting out a small gasp of shock and scooting forward on his knees.

Three days had passed since you’d last saw your best friend and you had done everything in your power to ignore your growing confusion about the situation, including not telling anybody about it or worsening the situation by getting a second opinion. That only lasted until you opened your front door to see Sunoo’s smiling face, immediately bursting out into confession and asking him for help.

“Okay not to freak you out but this is totally weird.” He was shaking his head now and watching you intensely, opening your eyes to see his equally perplexed expression. “I don’t know if I’ve ever even seen you guys high five before and how he’s practically a dog on your lap?”

“Can you cut that out?” You aggressively threw a shirt in his direction with furrowed eyebrows after his second rude joke slipped from his mouth. He caught the piece of clothing and raised his hands in surrender but you could tell he wasn’t sorry judging by the mischievous look on his face.

You didn’t say anything after that and you felt a deep disappointment in your chest considering Sunoo had left you feeling even more confused about the situation, confirming the fact that it was definitely strange and out of the ordinary.

It didn’t help that the two of you weren’t just looking through your clothes for fun but you were picking out outfits for a small party at a mutual friends house, a party that Heeseung would definitely be attending and looking for you at considering he’d been texting you all afternoon to check in and make sure you were still planning on being there.

Sunoo did his best to lighten the mood but dolling you up and being overly nice the entire way out of your apartment, taking selfies with you in the back of the Uber and purposely avoiding mentioning anything about your best friend.

He was following close behind you once you actually entered the party, feeling slightly anxious considering it was a bigger turn out than what you had been promised over text by the two boys throwing it. You let out a small sigh and scanned through the crowd, habitually looking for Heeseung even though you were still overthinking everything.

It didn’t take you long to find him considering he was one of the taller people there, laughing near the kitchen with some of your friends but you watched as he continuously spared looks towards the doorway like he was waiting for something. A weird warmth washed over you knowing that it was you he was looking for like always, missing you when you’d entered just a few minutes ago.

You tried to ignore the fact that it was completely normal for the two of you to instinctively find each other so there was no reason for the butterflies in your stomach at his attentiveness. Nothing had changed despite the addition of the small touches and you weren’t going to unbury any old feelings for him just because he was acting a bit clingier than usual.

Still, you made your way over to him swiftly, at some point losing Sunoo in the crowd. You weren’t too concerned considering he was the more social out of the two of you, grateful he had at least stuck with you long enough for you to find Heeseung.

You were approaching him and the other boys and they noticed you before he did, smiles on their faces as they started to greet you casually. This caught Heeseung’s attention and he was spinning around quickly to see you, eyes widened in relief and yours opened similarly in surprise when he hands were falling down onto your waist and squeezing softly.

“There you are, I was getting worried.” His words were casual and he didn’t seem to realize the fact you were completely frozen under his touch.

Sunoo had chosen an outfit that left your waist completely bare and although you were growing use to his simple and fleeting touches, you definitely weren’t prepared to feel his warm hands completely covering the expanse of your bare skin. He either didn’t think it was a big deal or he was doing a very good job at pretending, pulling you closer to him so you were standing in front and he was still holding onto you.

You could feel his chest rumbling against your back as he continued to talk with your friends, thumbs absentmindedly stroking your bare sides and squeezing occasionally whenever you slightly shifted.

You were starting to feel slightly crazy and dramatic, like you were the only one making a big deal out of nothing and overthinking stuff that had no meaning behind it. It wasn’t until you were meeting eyes with one of your friends Jake that you considered the opposite, seeing the way he was looking at curiously before his eyes were dropping down to the big hands holding onto you borderline possessively.

He met your gaze again before quirking up an eyebrow in question, eyes creasing into a small chuckle when you were shrugging and giving him a bewildered look to showcase you also thought it was strange.

Heeseung must have noticed the silent exchange because he was faltering in his words for a second before tugging you back tighter against his chest, clearing his throat over the surprised sound you let out at the sudden jerking movement.

You froze for a few seconds before you were taking a step or two out of his embrace. “I need to go to the bathroom really quick.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” He was rushing it out before he even seemed to realize he was saying it and the rest of the group paused awkwardly at the random offer, completely out of character for him.

You froze with them before quickly gathering yourself and shaking your head in denial, starting to stutter out a reason before giving up and turning around so you could rush away from the awkward situation.

Thankfully the bathroom down the hallway wasn’t occupied and you quickly entered it and locked the door, placing your hands on the cold countertop and taking deep breaths to try and calm your nerves down. You’d already been overthinking the situation and having it confirmed that it wasn’t just you noticing things were changing was positively freaking you out, wondering if he had somehow found out about your feelings for him.

You were glancing up at yourself in the mirror and sighing at the stressed out look on your face, splashing some cold water on your cheeks to bring you back to your senses before you were fixing your hair and opening the door.

You were stopped in your tracks considering somebody was standing directly outside of it, peering down at you with a slightly surprised expression because of the speed in which you swung the door open. He was taking a step back with a small smirk when he steadied himself, letting you pass but not making any moves to head into the bathroom himself.

“Is there a reason you followed me over here Jake or were you just creepily standing outside the door.” Your tone was exhausted when you turned back to look at him and he didn’t seem at all shocked that you spoke to him rather than walking away.

“Just wondering what’s going on with you and Heeseung.” He was shrugging casually but he had a mischievous look in his eyes that you didn’t really trust.

Being friends with Jake was fun and casual, he showed up to events and made them louder and looser but he’d also been there for you countless times when you needed help and weren’t sure who to call, not wanting to constantly bother Heeseung with your problems. Jake was particularly useful when your problems were about Heeseung, letting you drunkenly rant a handful of times about your past feelings for him.

But that didn’t make it any less annoying that he was clearly trying to meddle with the situation, whatever it was. You sighed and took a few steps in his direction, pointing a finger onto his chest and giving him your best attempt at a glare.

“Don’t say anything to him about it, whatever it is will pass and we will all forget about it.” You were trying to sound stern and intimidating but he was still looking down at you with slight amusement, eyes dropping down to your finger on his chest for a second before meeting your eyes again.

“If I told you that I knew, would you want to know?” He was saying suddenly with a raised eyebrow and you froze in place.

“Are you implying that you know why Heeseung is acting so weird towards me?” Your eyes turned down into a glare but he didn’t seem at all intimidated by the threatening tone you’d taken on, smiling down at you and shrugging again like he wasn’t holding crucial information to the most important friendship in your life.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” He was clearly teasing you and your frustration grew, making a small angry noise and pushing your palm against his chest instead of just the tip of your finger. “Okay okay fine. All I can say is maybe think about something you did that might have made him realize he-“

Your eyes were widening as you listened to him intensely, nodding to try and encourage him to continue once he slowly trailed off in his sentence. You weren’t sure why he stopped talking until you heard a throat clearing from the end of the hallway, turning your head swiftly to see Heeseung standing there and looking at the two of you.

He had a strange expression on his face, one you weren’t quite used to seeing and it took you a few seconds to realize it was anger. He rarely ever was angry, especially around you and you were completely thrown off by the dark way he was looking at you.

Jake seemed to understand the reason for it faster than you and he shifted back awkwardly, getting impossibly closer to the wall. He couldn’t really move away from you much but the slight movement was enough for you to realize what a compromise position the two of you looked like you were in. Your hand was still on his chest from your anger earlier and you were unusually close to him, staring up at him encouragingly.

Your mouth was parting to try and explain that it wasn’t what it looked like but there was no point considering Heeseung was shaking his head and turning to leave, the flashing lights of the party in the living room behind him illuminated his face just enough for you to see the upset clenching of his jaw.

You didn’t bother saying goodbye to Jake, following after your friend quickly even when he was pushing through the crowd and heading back outside.

By the time you managed to get out there he was stuffing his phone into his pocket and standing on the sidewalk near the road, shiny now from the rain that had fallen during the party. He was crossing his arms and you frowned slightly at how cold and annoyed he looked before you were taking a small breath and approaching him.

“Did you get a ride?” You asked him softly and he didn’t seem at all startled by the sound of your voice, barely sparing you a glance out of the side of his eye before giving a curt nod.

You mirrored the movement of his head in understanding awkwardly but you had a small pit in your stomach considering he wasn’t even looking at you, obviously upset about something you didn’t quite understand. It was rare you and Heeseung fought and even more rare that he was genuinely mad at you and not just bickering about something stupid.

He was keeping up his stony demeanor even when you sniffled slightly from the cold and rubbed your hands on your bare arms to try and warm them up a bit.

Eventually you were wobbling sideways while trying to adjust your standing position and you leaned onto him slightly for support, your skin brushing his for a few seconds before you were quickly standing upright and mumbling an apology into the tensed silence. He didn’t say anything still but you spared him another glance and tensed up seeing he was staring at you now, a weird expression on his face.

You were thinking about asking him if he was feeling okay until he was reaching over and touching your arm softly, ignoring the small surprised noise you made and tugging you over so you were stood in front of him again, the same position he had put you in back in the kitchen.

“What are you…” You trailed off when he was caging his arms around you and rubbing softly on your bare skin like you had been a few moments ago, warming you up immediately but also pressing you entirely against him.

Your next few breaths came out shaky and if he noticed he didn’t say anything, standing there like that with you held against him until the car was pulling up. He held the door open for you and scooted inside next to you until his thigh was pressed against yours, taking up the middle seat despite having plenty of room to sit on his own.

A guilty feeling was eating at you again for being so hyper aware of everything he was doing lately. Maybe he had always been this touchy and you just didn’t notice it because you were so preoccupied with denying your feelings for him and keeping your friendship as a priority.

You were watching the side of his face and thinking about this when you started to change your mind. He wasn’t exactly acting normal either despite being the one to start casually touching you.

Heeseung was avoiding looking at you most the time, almost like he knew you’d be giving him that confused stare you’d carried consistently the last few days. It didn’t help that your friend group had also seemed completely thrown off by the way he was acting and that wasn’t nearly as intimate as the way he treated you when you were alone together. He cleared his throat and snapped you out of your daze, diverting your eyes off of him and opting to stare out the front window instead.

You hoped your face didn’t flush too noticeably when he started to stare at you instead, feeling his gaze just as prominent as his leg pressed against yours.

——

It wasn’t unusual for Heeseung to follow you out of the Uber, it wasn’t out of place for him to be standing behind you silently while you nervously dug your keys out of your bag and unlocked your front door.

All these typical things were only unnerving you because of the new added factor, the heavy tension sitting between the two of you now. You glanced behind you right before you turned the doorknob and met eyes with him for a few seconds, knowing he felt it too for sure now and having no more doubts about if he was purposefully acting different.

You pushed the door open and kicked off your shoes, the two of you going about your usual routine of changing into more comfortable clothes, him having his own section in your closest and drawer in your dresser. It was the same as always except for the thick silence, replacing the usual laughter and banter that filled the rooms.

You took a deep breath before leaving your room in shorts and one of Heeseung’s shirts now, pausing in the doorway when he left the bathroom across the hall at the exact same time.

“So-“

“Are you-“

The two of you froze up when you started to speak together. You gave him a small awkward smile before gesturing your hand in his direction to indicate you wanted him to go first, hugging your arms across your stomach when he nodded to try and calm down your nerves.

“Are you and Jake a thing now?” He was asking in a flat tone but you could tell he was still upset from the party, avoiding looking at you directly and clenching his jaw again.

“You’re seriously asking me that right now?” A disbelieving laugh slipped from your mouth at the end of the sentence and this seemed to frustrate him even more, looking at you finally with heat behind his eyes. You shook your head and touched your mouth softly in shock, realizing he genuinely thought that’s what he had seen.

You turned around to go back into your bedroom, assuming he’d follow even though you were clearly thrown off by what he was saying.

He did exactly that and he stood near your desk when you sat down on the bed carefully, watching you and waiting for you to offer an explanation. You didn’t like how intimidating he looked, something you’d never thought about him before, and you slightly felt like you were being interrogated even though he was the one being weird.

“Of course I’m not dating Jake.” You really stressed the words to make him understand but he gave you a disbelieving look, causing a scoff to be pulled from your lips. “I was only in the hallway with him because he was wondering why you were acting so weird.”

It slipped out before you even realized you were saying it and he tensed up at the same time you paused. His eyebrow quirked up in question and you stared at him in embarrassment, knowing you’d have no choice to explain what you had been noticing.

“How am I acting weird?” He proved you right by asking you that but his tone was stiff and it sounded like he already knew the answer without you even needing to say it.

“I don’t know you’re just…. you’re just being different.” You were playing with your hands anxiously and trying to avoid looking at him.

It didn’t help that he was still standing over you and seemed completely thrown off and distant now that you’d brought attention to his behavior. He must have figured you didn’t notice and he was getting away with it, letting out a deep sigh and shaking his head softly.

You stared at him now despite feeling overly awkward, watching the way his movement caused his bright bleached hair to fall into his face and cover his eyes again. Your mouth pulled into a frown softly and you were standing up before he had time to process it, reaching over and pushing his hair back with your hand.

He didn’t say anything as you touched him gently, revealing his forehead again and making sure he didn’t poke himself in the eyes with the ends of his hair.

It was making the situation ten times more confusing for the both of you but you’d already crossed those invisible boundaries multiple times already and you were sick of how high the frustrated tension was, figuring you might as well take this opportunity to be close to him in ways you hadn’t gotten a chance to before.

“I don’t want to fight with you.” He was whispering and your eyes fell from his hair down to hold his gaze, seeing how his hardened expression had practically melted into one of guilt and regret. “It makes me feel terrible, I hate it so much.”

“Then let’s not fight.” You mumbled back to him, keeping your volume low in the delicate air. Your hand was still touching his hair and you softly put some of the longer pieces behind his ear, letting it drop afterwards to land on his shoulder for a few seconds. You gave it a gentle reassuring squeeze before you were stepping away from him again in preparation to sit back on the bed.

His body automatically followed yours like you had a magnet connected to you, taking a step forward to match the one you took back. He didn’t even seem to realize he was doing it, just naturally trying to keep close to you.

You watched him for a few beats to see if he was going to back away and apologize, realize that he was acting strange considering you’d just had a conversation about it. Strangely, he seemed completely clueless to why you had paused and cocked his head to the side like he was asking for an explanation. You waited for a bit more, deciding between two ways you could handle this and eventually landing on the one that caused you to take a deep breath before speaking.

“Did you want to lay with me?” Your voice was coming out fast and strong but your stomach was almost hurting with how nervous you felt, not sure at all where the line had moved to and how far was too far.

His eyes widened at your question and for a moment he seemed to realize how close you were standing for no reason, weird enough that you were even standing in your room in the first place instead of casually lounging around your apartment.

“Like.. in your bed?” He was finally responding after what felt like ten years and you nodded before you changed your mind, shrugging bashfully after like it wasn’t a big deal to you despite the fact you felt almost dizzy at the idea of laying with him.

You took a step to the side so you could move without bumping into him and he watched as you climbed onto your bed awkwardly, scooting to the far left so the side closest to him was available and tucking yourself underneath your big blanket. He was just watching you in bewilderment and you felt a bit stupid suddenly, having just assumed he’d want to lay with you because how touchy he’d been.

“You don’t have to never mind, it’s stupid anyways.” You laughed softly at the end of your mumbled sentence but it didn’t come across as genuine at all, scooting awkwardly on your side more so you didn’t have to face him directly.

Before you were able to look away from him he was quickly snapping out of it at the sound of your retraction, shaking his head quickly and landing on the bed with his knees before you could shut him out further. You tensed as he climbed into the bed next to you and pulled the blanket up so he could get underneath, avoiding looking at your bare legs for the few seconds they were visible before he was lowering it.

The two of you laid side by side for a few minutes in silence and you were quickly regretting asking him to join you considering how awkward it was.

You could hear him breathing, heavily at first almost like he was winded and then calmer the longer you stayed like that. You’d rolled back over fully onto your back eventually and your shoulder bumped into his, settling down into a position that made it so your arms were touching.

It was hard not to wonder what he was thinking about, if he was thinking about anything. Your mind was overflowing with too much confusion but it was completely possible that he was just laying next to you because you had asked and he wasn’t putting as much meaning behind it as you did so instinctively.

Then you felt something pressing against your wrist, flinching away for a second thinking it was a bug or something before your brain registered the warmth of Heeseung’s fingers pressing against your skin softly. You lowered your arm back onto the bed and thankfully he didn’t seem to be deterred by your sudden movement, sliding his hand down your wrist until he could lace his fingers with yours.

A wave of relief washed over you suddenly, silent confirmation that this wasn’t just two friends laying in bed together.

You felt like your breath had caught in your throat and you absentmindedly squeezed his hand, a sigh of relief being heard from beside you. His thumb was rubbing over the back of your palm and you were fighting the urge to look over at him and see what his expression was like.

“You can say no but..” His voice was coming out low and your head snapped in his direction at the sound of it. He wasn’t looking at you, staring straight up at the ceiling with an almost pained expression. “Would it be weird if.. could I hold you maybe?”

His words lingered in the air and your mouth parted in shock, something he must’ve sensed considering his hand tensed in yours and immediate regret passed over his face.

You didn’t want him to pull away from you just yet so you were acting quickly before you’d fully processed what he was asking and how strange it was. You rolled back onto your side, facing completely away from him and for a second you wondered if his heart dropped thinning you were upset with him for asking you.

Then you were scooting backwards in his direction and glancing over your shoulder waiting for him to take the hint, meeting his gaze finally and watching as understanding passed through his eyes. You quickly looked away, face flushing almost uncomfortably hot and it only worsened when his arm was hesitantly draping over your waist.

He was slow at first, like he was testing to see if you’d push him off or change your mind but when he seemingly decided it was safe he got bolder.

A small surprised noise slipped out of you when he was tugging you back tighter against him, his front completely against you and you felt him tucking his head into the crook of your neck. He breathed in a low sigh of relief and tightened his arm that was around you, instinctively squeezing like he’d finally gotten a breath of fresh air.

You were thinking back to what Jake had said now for the first time since it had happen just a few hours ago, the boy hinting that you had done something that awoken a new side of your best friend.

You wrestled with the idea that Heeseung was potentially touched starved before you ran your fingers through his newly bleached hair so softly, recalling the way his eyes had widened as he absentmindedly leaned into your touched like he was mesmerized by it. It made more sense to you with every passing second now considering the way he was holding onto you so tightly, like he was afraid you’d slip away from him.

“Is it too weird?” He was muttering from behind you and you shivered at the feeling of his breath on your neck.

You were shaking your head and trying to clear your throat to respond to him but you found yourself unable to form any words, overly aware of how close you were and the fact his hand was fanned out against your side.

To make matters worse he started to move again, clearly not content with just holding you against him. His hand was shifting against you and pulling at the large tshirt you were wearing, pausing for a second when he realized it was his but not saying anything about it. At first you were confused with what he was attempting to do but he pulled it up so it was resting near your ribs, leaving your stomach exposed.

You could tell he was propping himself up slightly behind you considering his face wasn’t tucked into your neck anymore and you felt overwhelmingly shy knowing he was looking at your bare skin, his large hand tracing down the dip of your waist and watching the way goosebumps rose to the surface.

Heeseung had seen you in lots of states of undress, walking in on you changing a dozen times and seeing you in bathing suits more than you could count but it felt miles more intimate in your current situation.

You glanced behind your shoulder again at him to find him already looking at you, a look in his eyes that was too loaded for you to want to unpack it right now.

Thankfully he laid back down and shifted his position, tapping you so you could lift your body off the bed a bit and he could slide his arm underneath you. This made it so he was completely hugging you around the middle and because he had tugged your shirt up his hands were left resting on your bare stomach.

Despite the heavy touching and the way he was watching you a few seconds ago, it didn’t feel sexual at all. If anything you almost felt like you could cry from how innocent and intimate the whole situation was. You realized you’d been just as desperate to touch him despite instinctively running from him in fear of what it meant.

Or more realistically, what it didn’t mean for him.

Regardless if he felt the same way as you did, if his heart was beating out of his chest with love and longing that had been buried down deep since you’d first heard him laugh, it definitely meant something important to the both of you.

He was tucking his face back into your neck, moving your hair to the side so he could hook his chin over your shoulder and you could feel his heart beat against your back, anything but still. You placed your hands shakily over his that remained still and warm on your stomach, stroking his knuckles softly and letting yourself stop thinking just for a moment.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung #heeseung drabbles #heeseung x reader #enhypen fluff #heeseung enhypen #enhypen au #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fic #enha fluff #heeseung fluff #heeseung imagine #heeseung au #heeseung fanfic #heeseung fic

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gojos-thot-patrol · 10 months

Note

Geto/gojo/reader “I can’t believe there’s only one bed” and HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY

THANK YOOUUU!! So, this one really sang to me, I went ahead and combined the two, mostly because they are very similar. Thank you both for the prompt!!

Now Presenting...

Starring: A flirty Satoru Gojo, and a tired Suguru Geto

Your body protested every step you took as you walked into the hotel, screaming at you to lay down and accept the sweet embrace of death. Okay, maybe death was a little extreme, but you could definitely have gone for a light coma in that moment. A yawn you had been suppressing came forward, and you tried to rub the sleep out of your eyes.

“Awe, well aren’t you cute when you’re sleepy.” Gojo teased with a smile, earning him a glare from you.

“Shut up Satoru.” This entire trip he kept making note of how cute you were, and how you needed to be protected, and at this point, he was on the brink of losing vocal cord privileges.

“Flirt later you two, let’s just get checked in.” Suguru muttered as he ushered the two of you to the front desk. He tried to summon a friendly smile for the clerk, but it didn’t touch his tired eyes. “Hi! Uh, we should have two reservations under Masamichi Yaga.” He said, really hoping they didn’t ask for an id. He told his teacher that he should probably put the rooms under one of the three people going on the mission, but the man was more muscle than brain.

The young worker started typing on the computer, before confusion fell over her features. “Um, I found the reservations, but it says it’s only for one room?” She asked. You were a bit taken back by that, and you could tell from the looks on their faces the boys were too. You thought for sure you’d at least get your own room. But, then again, if getting a room with 3 beds was cheaper than getting 2 separate rooms, it did make sense for Yaga to take that route, the penny pinching bastard.

“Uh, yea that should be fine, that’s us.” Suguru shrugged, too tired to really argue. Much to your relief (and concern) the woman nodded and happily gave over the room key, not bothering to ask for an ID. What a stand up place. The three of you dragged your tired worn bodies over to the elevator. Well, two of you did. Satoru felt fine, because of course he did. And because he had no problem filling the elevator with whatever came to his head. You shared a look with Suguru.

How do we shut him up? Your eyes asked.

Pillow over his face as he sleeps Sugurus eyes offered.

No, I want him to shut up now.

Oh, that’s not gonna happen. For now, we just have to endure him.

You sighed, knowing he was right and hating that fact at the same time. Thankfully, the elevator door opened, and the room wasn’t far from it. Geto unlocked the door, and you and Gojo practically fell over him to get into it. You quickly went to grab your toothbrush, and Gojo went to fiddle with the tv. It was Suguru who noticed it first.

“Uh, guys? I don’t see another bed.” He said. You and Gojo stopped cold in your tracks, heads whipping to the center of the room and- yep. That was one bed, and only one bed. Not even so much as a pull out couch in sight.

“OH ho ho!!” Satoru laughed, launching himself onto the bed and folding himself into what you think was meant to be a sexy pose. “I’ve read fan fiction before, I know what happens here!” He cackled, “Be gentle with me, I’m a virgin” He swooned, acting like a helpless flower.

“I call sleeping in the bathtub.” Suguru said, checking out of this battle before it became a war.

“No, Don’t!” Gojo whined, reaching out to him, “The bathtub is cold and hard, I'm warm and soft. Unless you want me to be hard.” He winked.

“I can’t believe there’s only one fucking bed, who sets this shit up?!” You snapped, aggressively waving your hands at the bed.

“God.” Gojo responded.

“Bad fan fiction writers.” Geto retorted, apparently salty about his characterization in my past fics.

“Satoru get out of the bed.” You demanded, shaking your head. You did not just get out of a fight with ten, count em, ten first grade curses to sleep on the floor.

“How about you get in the bed?” He purred.

“I will, as soon as you get out of it.” you scoffed, fighting back a laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

“Why not get in it with me?” He grinned at you, opening his arms wide as an invitation.

“I’d rather sleep in the bathtub.” You replied.

“Not an option, I already called it!” Suguru reminded you.

“Why don’t you sleep with him?” You accused more than asked, “He’s your man!”

“He is most definitely not my man!” Geto rebuffed the statement, shaking his head.

“He’s actually my man, we just haven’t taken our relationship to the next level yet.” Satoru purred with a cheeky wink to Geto to really seal the deal. Geto rolled his eyes.

“I’m going to bed, goodnight.” He said, going to grab a pillow from the bed, only for Satoru to grab his arm.

“Come on guys, don’t be silly! This bed is big enough for all of us!” He argued, “We all trust each other, right?!” Gojo paused long enough to look at both you and Geto, but not long enough for an answer. He already knew it. “We know no ones going to try any funny business, we trust each other with our lives there's no reason for any of us to be uncomfortable tonight!” you and Suguru shared more glances. Gojo may be annoying, but when he was right he was right. The only thing really keeping the three of you from sharing was standard social conventions.

“Fine, but if any of you touch me I’m throwing you off the balcony.” You warned. Geto sighed and ran a hand through his hair, sitting on the bed.

“I just don’t get why we weren’t warned about this.”

“I mean, it kind of explains the weird look she gave us.” You noted, sitting on the other side of Gojo.

“Yay, sleepover!” Gojo cheered, grabbing onto Suguru because he was the one that didn’t threaten him, “Fair warning, I’m a cuddler.” He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows for emphasis.

“I knew I should have just slept in the tub.” Geto sighed.

🛏️🛏️🛏️

In the morning, you were a tangled mess of limbs and drool with your two best friends. Any warning against cuddling being tossed to the wind in exchange for the comfort human warmth brings. You hated to admit it, but it was the best sleep you had gotten in weeks. Gojo woke up not long after you, smiling softly, slowly coming back to life.

“Good morning,” He said. You shook your head and covered his face with a pillow.

“It was before you started talking.” You muttered.“It’s 6 am, go back to bed.” Suguru begged, not happy to have been woken up.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #suguru geto #gojo x reader #geto x reader #satoru gojo x reader #suguru geto x reader #satosugu #satosugu x reader #satoru gojo fluff #suguru geto fluff #satosugu fluff #satosugu x reader fluff #gojo x reader fluff #geto x reader fluff #nobody likes you when you're 23

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wandasfifthwife · 3 months

Text

༺ needing me

— CEO!Wanda x fem!reader

tw || 18+ MDNI, Wanda calls her strap her “dick,” dom!Wanda, sub!reader, use of the term “mommy,” reader gets jealous of the attention Wanda’s giving the new neighbor, fingering (r receiving), (magic) strap in v (r receiving), Wanda spanks you, needy/bratty!reader, Wanda puts you in your place

a/n || not proofread, I’m exhausted. sorry if it’s shitty lmfao

People come and go. Some are for a season, some for a long time. The woman who sat across from you and Wanda, you hope she’s going soon. It wasn’t like this in the beginning, so what also changes is feelings. You would have never called this woman a bitch when you first went with Wanda to say hello for the first time.

It was pleasant meeting her. Thanking her for the kind gift and inviting her over sometime— as casual neighbors. Then one dinner had turned to two. Then two had turned into three. Then you had begun to mumble curses under your breath when Wanda told you from the living room that Lorre was hoping to join you two for dinner. Again.

“This is the fifth time,” you had snapped, too irritated by her taking so much time and by Wanda allowing her too.

“Yes. It’s quite nice to have friends in the neighborhood.”

“She’s a little too friendly.”

Wanda had entered into the kitchen just then, a frown now on her face at your attitude., “why do you say that? I think she’s been lovely.”

You roll your eyes, “she’s the closest thing to a bitch if there ever was one.”

A neutral expression takes over where her frown was as she realizes. Only a quiet hum escaping her as she leaves to go open the door when Lorre began to knock. Her reaction was enough to send you spiraling, desperate to push her over the edge.

You had greeted her reluctantly, placing the silverware and food onto the table for the three of you. Lorre made herself comfortable in the living room, Wanda making conversation with her while they waited for you to come and get them.

Your distaste and attitude was apparent when she took a seat near you, Wanda being on the opposite side. It was fine, you answered when she asked and kept a low profile for the first thirty minutes. It grew when you felt like you were pushed to the back, no longer reviving Wanda’s affection.

“I remember last time you mentioned being interested in non-for-profit work, I know someone who would be—“

You cut Lorre off, deciding to speak on Wanda’s behalf, “that’s okay.”

“Oh I insist, they’re a grand writer and they—“

“And I don’t think Wanda would be cut out for that. She has enough as is.”

Wanda had reached over the table then, putting her hand on yours, drawing your attention to her.

“I apologize for her. Before I forget, I’m going to return your plates! Thank you so much for letting us borrow them.”

Wanda had pulled you behind her, not caring if you were embarrassed by the action, or how you stumbled. She brought you to the kitchen, letting the swing door close behind you before she turned you around and into the counter.

“So desperate for my attention you have to ruin a good night?”

You gasp when her hand burns the skin on your lower thighs, the feeling rubbing your ego so well it has you pressing back against her.

“Need you.”

“I know.”

You feel her smile grow into the kiss she was placing on your neck when you whine after a particularly rough slap. She laughs, “so needy.”

You’re left on the counter with nothing when she moves beside you to grab the plants Lorre had gifted you with a homemade baked good a week ago. You reach to grasp onto her and pull her back into you, but the way her expression sets has you scrambling back.

“I want you to be polite to Lorre the rest of the night unless you want to go to bed knowing you won’t come until I decide.”

You say nothing, not wishing to push yourself any further at the moment. She was fully capable of sweet talking Lorre out of your house, explaining how nice it was to see her again and how something came up with word but when in reality it was you she was busy dealing with.

The rest of the night went as expected. Wanda listening to Lorre rant about the same things she always does while you sat in silence contemplating what would happen when she left. When you stopped looking at the clock in the corner of the room, the time went by faster and Lorre was finally ending her conversation and heading back to her house beside yours.

You didn’t care to walk her out, preferring to lay back on the couch while you waited for them to exchange final pleasantries. Wanda had shut the front door and it felt every cool breeze went with it.

“Want to tell me why instead of explaining and using your words, you thought being a brat to and in front of another would be more appropriate?”

“I wanted your attention.”

She pulls your legs to wrap around hers, “do you feel better after mouthing off to mommy? Needed to be mean to get what you wanted instead of being a mature adult?”

You pull at the front of shirt, begging for her to take the initiative and kiss you but she leans away.

“Until you learn you need to ask what you want and that you’re mine— I’m not touching you.”

“I just think, maybe you should pay more attention to me- oh.”

She pushes under your waistband, drawing a finger over where you need most. You pull her onto you, begging her to touch you.

“You’re really cute when you’re jealous,” she mumbles before kissing you. Your arms come around to fully embrace her, trying to hold her as close as possible.

“Please,” you breathe against her lips between each bruising kiss, “please touch me.”

She loves the sweet sounds you make when she finally presses a finger into you. The way your legs tremble around her waist, either holding her tighter against you to loosening and trying to make purchase on the couch arms beside you.

“You fall apart so beautifully. I just wish you wouldn’t be so rude to other’s because they’re taking mommy’s attention away from you.”

“I’m sorry,” you cry, tone breathy and shaky.

She questions you, adding another and angling it to watch you squirm. Each trust wears at your attitude more, chipping at it until you’re an empty shell of what you were before. Hands gripping wherever you can, little soft cries coming from you as you’re sensitive from not feeling her touch after two weeks.

It’s enough, and she’s pulling back to switch your positions. She pulls you onto her lap, asking you to remove her pants. Your hands fumble with her belt, your face leaning close to hers to whisper in her ear.

“Need you to be rough,” she stares into your glossy eyes, eyebrows raised at your request, “please.”

She grins at you, “need mommy to be rough with you? Want to feel how good I can make you feel?”

You whimper at her words, moving to kiss her and moaning when she bites your lip. She loves easing up on you when she recognizes the days when your eyes and put-of-place attitude beg for her to take control.

Wanda adjusts beneath you, widening her thighs and giving you space to breathe as you sink down on her length. She’s gripping your waist tight, a long sigh escaping her when you bottom out.

“So good for me,” she mumbles, rubbing your sides, placing kisses over your chest.

You can’t help but to grind onto her length when you feel she’s taking too long. She’s quick to stop you, punctuating her actions by jerking her hips to hear you gasp.

“You need to ask, baby.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry— please just use me. Need you— ah!”

She guides you, muscles flexing while she splits you on her length. Soft ahs falling from between your lips with each thrust pushing deeper into you, pressing into the spot that has you arching into her body.

“Always take my dick so well,” she coos, “always so good for me.”

“I’m good?” You ask, voice needy and she’s quick to reassure you, landing praise after praise until small tears form. The whole time she had her thumb pressing near your clit, adding enough pressure to watch your pleasure build, not feel it spike due to overstimulation.

“Do you need to come, my love?“

You nod, pulling at the seams in the couch as you feel it boil over. She lets out a sound similar to you when you quiver around her, a sob coming from deep within as you come down from your high

“My love, you’re so good,” she kisses your neck, wrapping her arms around you and pulling you to sag into her body.

“I love you,” you babble.

“So very proud of you. I love you too.”

The words ease your mind, giving you the freedom to fully relax in her hold. Wanda lifts you by reaching under your thighs and carrying you to your room, laying you onto the mattress.

You run your fingers through her hair, a dazed smile on your face, “are you going to stop there or keep going because I need you again.”

She laughs, eyes wrinkling with a smile brightening her face. The sound making you smile and rub your thighs together from underneath her. She notices, and you almost feel offended, “you haven’t paid me any mind for two weeks. It’s not my fault.”

“No it’s not,” she spreads your thighs again, “I’ll take care of you until you’re satisfied.”

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